#i wish i had time to write & maybe i could try

[neptuneiris]

could you pretend to be in love? (10/10)

The Realization

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)

summary: prom is coming and so is the end of a stage in your life. surprises and unexpected conversations take place, the question is, are you able to forgive in order to move on?

word count: 9.7k

previous part • series masterlist

this is not a drill, it's really happening!

first of all, i want to apologize for having left this story aside without finishing it. it wasn't something i decided, the writer's block precisely in this fic made me not try anymore for a while, mostly to clear my mind and my ideas, because i had no idea what to write after chapter nine 💀

so I hope you really forgive me and enjoy the last chapter 🥺 it has been an honor to have given you this little fic, I really enjoyed writing it despite the little mental breakdowns I had haha

and just like my other stories, I keep it in my heart and it will always be here for whenever you want to reread (I will make sure to post it in AO3, don't worry) i'm also thinking of doing a poll about the epilogue where you guys will decide if you want one or prefer this ending. let me know after you finish reading the chapter 🤗

enjoy and I look forward to your comments!

It still all feels like a bad dream that you can't wake up from. An unwanted dream. A nightmare.

And every time a new day comes, you feel like a human being who does everything in automatic mode, not because you really want to.

In front of your dad you must pretend that everything is fine, but as soon as you leave home and get to school, you feel a huge weight and a sadness that nothing and no one can take away from you.

You feel the stares of some people on you, if not all of them. But the truth is that you feel so emotionally drained that you don't even pay attention to them.

Many would say that not being accepted to a college doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Nor does it mean that your chances are over because there is still too much time to be able to do everything you want.

And you accept that they are right. All is not lost because you didn't get accepted.

When you were rejected the first time when you applied in conjunction with the scholarship, disillusionment sets in. There is disappointment in yourself for not being enough and there is this question that constantly floats in your mind; why others do and I don't? Why am I not worthy of the same fate as them?

Maybe it's age, but it's inevitable to feel that rejection and failure after having so many plans and having in mind the idea of making your dad proud by telling him that you've been accepted to college.

And not just any college, but Citadel.

But so far, you haven't had the courage to tell him instead that you won't go to any college. You just can't. You don't know what exactly you'll tell him and you don't want to face it yet. You don't want to see his disappointed face so you need more time.

So instead of dreams and aspirations, as well as preparing to live a college life, you prepare and focus on getting a job. You don't see employment as a bad thing either. You just wish you didn't have to focus on it right now.

You haven't talked to Aemond either. You haven't even seen him.

You're in some classes together. But you barely pay attention. Even though you used to notice his presence before and now, unconsciously, you ignore it. Now your mind is too busy with your worries.

It's like being in a disconnect. You are just there, existing. But you barely talk, barely react and barely do. You just want classes to end soon so you can go home.

Of course, he hasn't stopped trying.

He wants to talk to you, but you won't let him. You just don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. Even though you feel that emptiness he has left, you immediately force yourself not to think about it.

It's like pain and confusion mixed together, but your pride and that same pain makes you prefer to stay away.

You don't even care anymore what people say about him and you. It's obvious that the two of you are no longer in a 'relationship'. No one knows what happened and neither one of you is clarifying anything.

Which you are grateful for, so as not to feed the topic in the whole school.

Meanwhile, Alysanne and Cregan are almost always around you, trying to cheer you up and make you endure school better. You couldn't be more grateful for both of them either.

"So what are your plans for the weekend?"

Alysanne asks as the three of you are sitting on a bench in the outside courtyard. On the bench where you and Aemond made the fake relationship contract, precisely. But you try not to focus on that as the three of you eat lunch.

"We're going to the movies, did you forget already?" asks Cregan, confused.

"Huh? This weekend?"

"You forgot," he assures her.

"I didn't forget!" she lies, nervous.

"We agreed to go on Saturday. To the ten o'clock function for the horror movie."

Oh yes, the two of them are dating. Just as you and Aemond have 'broken up', so you try not to feel more distressed about it.

"Do you want to come, Y/N?"

You raise your gaze to Alysanne, confused, who gives you a smile.

"It's a date, isn't it? Just the two of you."

"We'll have more dates," she makes a nonchalant gesture.

Poor Cregan.

"Besides, it would do you good to clear your head a bit. So, what better than going to the movies? Right, Cregan?"

"Yeah, it'll do you good," he nods.

"No, thank you," you say softly, "I don't want to interfere with your dates. Besides, I'm not in the mood to go out. I'd rather stay home."

"You're not going to interfere with anything. Besides, you've stayed home enough days," she reproaches you, "Come on. Even one night. We'll have a great time."

"If you don't want to go to the movies, we can go somewhere else," Cregan proposes.

You grimace slightly.

"No, thank you. I..." you sigh, "I really appreciate it, guys. But I'd rather stay home."

Staying home to look for a proper job and plan to tell your dad you won't be going to college, like you've been doing for the past few days.

"Are you sure?" Alysanne looks at you not entirely convinced.

"Yeah," you shrug, "Don't worry about me."

"Of course I worry about you."

"You should focus on your date," you say as you give Cregan a meaningful look.

"Totally," Cregan nods, "In fact, she'll plan the next date."

"What?" she looks at him in horror.

"What you heard."

"And why me?"

"Because I always do."

Your talk with them doesn't last long as soon the bell rings and they head off to their respective classes, except for you, who has a free hour.

So you stand on the bench alone, just looking outside and nothing else, enjoying your lunch unhurriedly and in peace and quiet.

You let out a long breath and distract yourself for a few moments in your social networks, watching as some people post their reactions from when they were accepted to colleges. Everyone screams, smiles and cries of happiness with their families.

Except for others who quietly show how they were not accepted. But they open more emails and get accepted to other colleges.

You wish you were part of them.

You close those apps and go to Tiktok to distract yourself for a while by watching funny videos or storytimes.

When suddenly, you hear footsteps approaching behind you, which catches your attention. You turn your head, peeking over your shoulder and then you see him, Aemond.

He stops as soon as your eyes look directly into his, as if you've caught him in the act of robbery. Which reveals how very cautious he was being to approach and not scare you.

You see the uncertainty in his gaze, the insecurity and the wariness all at the same time. Which is rare for him, as he doesn't allow himself to look so vulnerable. But you understand why he's this way with you.

First you think about getting up and leaving him with the word in his mouth, like you've been doing lately. But for some reason, it's like finally your mind resigns and your body will force you to stay where you're sitting. And you don't even know why.

Or maybe it's because he's begging you with his gaze not to leave and listen to what he has to say after so many weeks.

Inevitably your nerves invade you and neither he nor you say anything for a few long seconds. He just stands still, as if testing the waters, waiting to see if you will move away from him again attentively.

Then he swallows hard and watches you with a sad but hopeful expression.

“Can I come closer?”

You press your lips together, think about it for a few seconds and finally give him a barely visible nod.

You turn your gaze to the front and begin to put your tupper with food in your backpack. While at the same time Aemond approaches you, cautious but firm. And surprised that you are allowing him to do this.

You let out a long breath and bring a hand to your hair, nervous, not knowing why.

Then he steps in front of you and only at that moment, you realize he has a folder in his hand. A folder that he sets down on the table in front of you, with smooth, cautious movements.

“I just came to drop this off for you. Nothing else.”

You raise your gaze to look at it confused for a moment, then look back down at the folder in front of you.

“It's the paperwork you need to submit to finalize the scholarship process,” he says softly, “Classes start in two months and by now you should have received an email from the university with all the information as an incoming student.”

Wait, what?

Your mind immediately questions, as you frown more and feel your heart start to beat too fast.

“What are you talking about?” you ask in a low murmur, not understanding.

And Aemond lets out a long breath.

“I'm keeping my promise.”

His words echo steadily in your mind.

And you dare to raise your gaze to him again, confused, serious and incredulous. And what he does is lower his gaze, sorrowful and unsure. However… he is firm with what he is saying.

Then a tingle begins to run through your hands, at the same time as you feel the nervousness sweep through your body like a wave. You part your lips as you look at the folder in front of you and with trembling hands, you pick it up and open it.

The first thing you see is the university logo and an overwhelming sensation sweeps over your body and mind as you see what appears to be a letter addressed to you.

Miss. Y/N Y/L/N, Faculty of Law. Official documentation for the scholarship process.

You feel the air you were holding in your lungs slowly leave your mouth. And a huge weight that you felt in your chest is lifted, allowing you to rest and breathe properly.

At first, you think your mind is playing a joke on you. You think he's doing it. But… this is real. More real than you can imagine.

“I know I didn't do things the right way…

Aemond begins to speak, noticing the mix of shock and confusion in your gaze, breathing hard through your mouth.

“I know I took you for granted and that I hurt you,” he says softly, “But that was never my intention, Y/N. I-I… I thought I would get everything under control. That I would work it out and get everything done on time. But, it's just… I don't even have justification.”

You feel tears begin to form in your eyes. But you control yourself. You bite the inside of your cheek and try not to let his words make you break down in tears.

As if the fact that you have in front of you one of the papers confirming and assuring you that you will finally go to the college of your dreams isn't enough.

“I should have acted sooner and looked for solutions. I should have been honest with you from the beginning. And you don't know how sorry I am,” he says softly and vulnerably, his gaze lowered, ”I also don't expect you to forgive me for keeping a promise and asking for forgiveness. I know I fucked up and things can never go back to the way they were. But I just want you to know…” he takes a moment, "That I really did fall in love with you."

Fuck.

“What I felt for you was real. It was never a game or a pretense. I was just… afraid,” he admits, ”Afraid of fucking up what we had. Afraid it would all fall apart if I told you the truth. But… I ruined everything,” he says with a resigned tone, ”You don't have to talk to me again either if you don't want to. You don't owe me anything. I just wanted to tell you the truth and let you know how sorry I am.”

Each word echoes in your mind, with the weight of his regret and his sincerity. You feel the tremble in your body, not helping the fact that you are still staring at the college sheet addressed to your name.

And you hold back, trying to calm the chaos being unleashed inside you by his words.

When he doesn't say anything else, you certainly won't and you both fall silent for a moment, as the weight of his words and the meaning of them fill the space. Until he speaks again.

“I won't bother you anymore,” he moves forward a bit back to the way he came, “Best of luck at Citadel. You deserve it, you really do,” he tells you with a small smile that is sad but genuine at the same time.

Then his figure disappears from your field of vision and you hear him start to walk away. And at that moment, the world seems to stop for you.

Unable to help yourself, you turn your head and watch him walk away with tears in your eyes. There is something in his walk, in that slight slope of his shoulders, that screams the burden he carries. And you don't know why, but… you want to call him, to tell him something that will ease the knot you both feel.

However, you know that won't fix anything.

You feel the air leave you, his words still echoing in your mind. You stare at the folder again, trying to remember what this achievement meant to you before this moment, before he came and stirred all the emotions in you.

You try to be strong, you try not to let this affect you more than it should, you think of the positive. But you can't.

So still in disbelief, excitement, sadness and with all your emotions mixed up, you take your phone, unlock it and open your emails app. And there, your most recent email, you read: Citadel University.

With your hands shaking, you press the email and read in slightly larger letters: Welcome to Citadel University! Miss Y/N, Y/L/N. Faculty of Law, Registration number: 31982.

Then, finally, you can't hold back the tears any longer and you put a hand to your mouth, letting them out, with confused and intense feelings coming over you.

Your father's loving and proud words, hugs and kisses make you smile.

It took you four days to finally break the news to him. And seeing him so happy, excited and proud, made you finally stop feeling so bad for even a moment. You also broke the news to Alysanne and Cregan, who were very happy for you.

Neither of them mentioned Aemond, which you appreciated. But there is the clear acknowledgement to him for making this possible.

You obviously left the job search behind and instead started contacting the university. You sent the missing and necessary documents, they sent you information about the scholarship, your schedule, classes and also about your dorm.

It's like finally this void in your chest is being filled as you finally see this all happening. And as you look at the pictures of the university, with old, elegant and modern architecture at the same time, that excitement rises in you.

However, what you feel is not happiness in its entirety.

In fact, you feel in the middle of a crossroads; joy is mixed with sadness. And the satisfaction of fulfilling the dream feels incomplete.

The worst part is that you know why.

But you don't think about it too much either. You don't want to. On the contrary, you force yourself to repeat over and over again that this was the plan all along. You force yourself to enjoy it and get excited.

You force yourself to think that what happened outside of getting into the college of your dreams was for a reason, but in the end you got what you really wanted.

But, deep down inside, you think about how you wish things could have been different.

At the same time, prom is just around the corner.

At first, you thought about not attending, but of course, Alysanne wouldn't let you think about it anymore. She dragged you with her to the dress store and sentenced that it will be a date of three, her, Cregan and you.

You tried to persuade her, to make her understand that Cregan only wants her as his date. But, of course, Cregan as the great friend he also is, told you it would be fun.

Certainly neither he nor you nor Alysanne have ever been on a three-way date and he told you; what better than to try it at the prom?

The prom preparations are done. Now the important thing is to turn in final projects and get rid of all the pending with the professors.

And that's what you're doing now.

With your headphones on and a notebook along with a book on your table, you're about to finish a long, boring project. When you notice how a figure suddenly obscures your workspace and you raise your gaze almost instantly, curious.

Helaena.

You remove your headphones, surprised to see her as she smiles softly at you.

“Hi,” you say to her in a soft tone, putting your project aside for a moment.

“Hi,” she says to you in the same soft tone, ”I… am I interrupting you?”

“Oh no,” you say nonchalantly, “I mean, yes, but I'm just about to finish it anyway. Don't worry.”

She looks at you a little unsure.

“Are you sure? It's just… I don't know,“ she shrugs, 'It's been a while since we last talked and I didn't know if I could come up to you.”

Again you ignore the small sharp pain in your chest at the memory of Aemond and try to look like you're not at all affected by having his sister in front of you.

“Yeah, well…” you try to smile a little, ”Things have been… intense lately.”

She nods as she takes a seat across from you.

“So it's official?” she asks you with a sad tone as she watches you with a sad little smile, “Like, I mean… you and my brother aren't coming back together?”

This time, the sharp pain in your chest is stronger and more persistent. As well as her question hits you like a wave.

How can you tell her that, in reality, everything you and Aemond had was false? That it was all part of an agreement?

The guilt begins to consume you as you see her face full of expectations and the worst thing is that it's not something you should tell her. That should be Aemond. But, still, you feel the urge to cry and you feel the need to finally tell her the truth, for the sake of everyone who made you believe the fake relationship.

“Helaena…” you begin, your voice barely a whisper, ”I-I… need to be honest with you.”

You take a breath, expecting the worst and imagining a series of difficult emotions to deal with.

“This whole thing between Aemond and I… it was fake,” you speak fearfully and sorrowfully, ”We were just… pretending for our own convenience. It wasn't…” you sigh, closing your eyes for a moment heavily, ”It wasn't real.”

You expected surprise, indignation, incredulity, anger, and more, all at the same time. But to your greatest surprise and bewilderment, she doesn't seem remotely surprised. Instead, she just smiles softly at you, full of understanding, as if she's been waiting for this moment for a long time.

“I already knew that,” she tells you in a serene tone that disarms you.

You feel your lungs hold all your air and you watch her completely stunned, surprised and confused with your parted lips. Then you blink, processing her words.

“What?”

“Aemond told me everything the moment you set up your rules,” she replies calmly, “The truth is, he never hides anything from me. He can't. So I already knew what you both were doing from the beginning.”

You continue to watch her in shock and disbelief, unable to believe it, trying to understand how she could have kept this to herself so naturally.

And in that moment, with disbelief and surprise beating in your chest, you realize that in every single conversation you had with her, right here at school, at parties, even at that family dinner that ended in disaster thanks to Aegon's drunkenness… she had always known.

“Though I don't always approve of his decisions, I understood why he did it… and why you did too.”

But your mind is still short-circuiting, processing and comprehending.

You relive in your mind every moment you went out of your way to pretend, believing you were fooling everyone, especially her. And yet, there's Helaena, looking at you with an expression of calm and empathy that completely disarms you.

“So you knew?” you are able to formulate in asking in a breathy whisper.

She nods, smiling softly.

“Easy, only I knew.“

“And you're not upset?” you ask confused, still waiting for some sign of reproach.

“Not at all. On the contrary, I'm relieved,” she tells you honestly, ”People made fun of Aemond after Alys. And, well, that left a mark on him. You know what rumors are like here.”

“Oh, believe me I do.”

“And they made him miserable. It also didn't help at all that Alys was his first girlfriend and his first formal relationship but the two of them didn't love each other, it was just obsession and whim,” she says absurdly, "And with you, at least, he got some peace back, even if it was temporary."

“But then…” you look at her blankly, “Why did you ask me if we'll get back together?”

Helaena sighs, her gaze soft but intense.

“Because in the end the two of you really fell in love. I saw you at Dragonstone and it was… too obvious.”

You remain silent, remembering those moments.

Both of you walking through those historical corridors, seeing and learning absolutely everything about old Valyria. Both holding hands, fascinated in the aquarium watching everything around or walking together on the shore of the beach, laughing, exchanging glances, hugging and kissing every now and then that everything felt too sincere to be pretending.

You relived every moment and every detail that you wished you could go back to when everything was fine.

Aemond had been different with you those days, a side of him that you had never seen and had thought only existed because of his performance in the fake relationship you had both agreed to.

But even you, being there, without the pressure to pretend, you felt the barriers fall between the two of you, because it was all real.

“He fell in love with you, Y/N,” Helaena tells you sincerely, “You… you did too?”

You feel a lump form in your throat and you let the question float in the air for a moment. The answer is so clear in your mind that it hurts; and yet, saying it out loud feels like breaking a promise you had made to protect yourself.

“Yes, I did too,” you admit, sadness settling in your chest, "But…" you take a deep breath, watching her, ”What happened with Floris even though it was a mistake… and then, the fact that he didn't tell me the truth about Citadel, it really hurt me.”

Helaena nods softly, not judging you, simply listening to you. And when she speaks, her tone is so serene and understanding that it comforts you.

“My brother has this amazing ability to do things in the worst possible way,” she says with a small resigned smile, ”Floris was a mistake. He was drunk and well, he told me that before that both of you have had a disagreement, although that doesn't justify it, I know. I'm just saying, it really was a mistake.”

Your mind momentarily flashes back to that moment, when you tried to end the fake relationship after the family dinner thing.

“And as for the Citadel thing…” she pauses, searching for the right words, “He freaked out, Y/N. He didn't know how to tell you without ruining everything. And I know that doesn't justify it either, but…” she sighs, ”He was going to do whatever it took to hold up his part of the contract. He just didn't count on our grandfather suddenly getting difficult. Our family is already so fucked up as it is, that was the last thing he expected.”

Her words suddenly make you feel interested and curious about a specific topic you hadn't remembered until now. But Helaena continues to speak and you listen to her.

“Even though his method was disastrous, in his mind, he was protecting you,” she says, ”Again, I'm not justifying it. But I know he was desperate to get you that place at Citadel no matter what because he knew you deserved it. And…” she smiles at you with a gesture of resignation, "I think he loves you enough to do stupidly risky things. Even go against grandfather and act behind his back knowing how much trouble he could get into.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and feel a knot of emotions form in your chest. Everything she's telling you opens a door to feelings you'd tried to repress, to thoughts you'd rather bury.

You take a deep breath, remembering again those days at Dragonstone.

You relive every moment, when words were redundant and the silence between the two of you felt so full of meaning. He was always watching you in a way that seemed to say everything and nothing at the same time. He was slowly revealing that vulnerable part of himself that he seemed to have lost after Alys.

But as much as you want to think straight, your thoughts are a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, the pain of it all consumes you but on the other, there's the certainty of how you feel about him.

Even when you're hurting, you know you can't ignore it.

“I know he's still waiting, deep down, for maybe…” Helaena pauses, “Maybe there's a chance for both of you.”

The expression on her face is so sincere and tender that you find it impossible not to believe her, and the thought fills you with a mixture of relief and pain. Because, despite everything, you still love him, and that truth is impossible to deny.

“I don't know,” you confess, biting your lips and feeling your eyes water, ”I-I…I don't know what to do. I mean, we're already graduating. We'll go to the same college but I doubt we'll see each other, you know? And I just… n-no… I don't know….

“Hey, hey,” Helaena tells you instantly, ”It's okay. We don't have to talk about this anymore. I didn't want to overwhelm you or burden you, I just wanted to tell you my opinion and for you to talk to someone in case you needed to,” she tells you softly, comfortingly, ”Still, it's something between the two of you and we can talk about anything else.”

You thank her with a relieved look, her gesture of empathy appearing as she watches you with her soft, understanding expression. And then, she speaks with a more casual tone, changing the subject with a lightness that relieves you a bit.

“You have everything ready for graduation? Are you bringing a date?”

“Hum… yes, I already have everything ready,” you nod, ”And no, I'll go with my two friends. I think you met them, Alysanne and Cregan.”

“Oh yes! I know them,” she says with a smile, ”And I'm going with a friend too. I don't really like the idea of everything being so formal, so going with a friend will make it all more fun.”

Both are silent for a few moments, and although the conversation has taken on a lighter tone, you feel there's still a question trapped in your chest. And at the memory of that day, an impulse prompts you to speak before you can stop yourself.

“Helaena,” you call her softly, "I… can I ask you something?" you ask almost in a whisper, lowering your gaze a little, hesitating.

She watches you curiously and nods without hesitation.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Hum…” you stir in your seat, “That night, at dinner, Aegon said something… about your dad not caring about you. What did he mean by that?”

She immediately looks like she wasn't expecting that question at all, which immediately makes you regret it, but then she softens her whole gaze, not looking at all uncomfortable or upset.

“Oh, well… our dad…” she begins to speak, choosing her words precisely, “Well, he was always very neglectful with us. He always left all the work to mom to take care of us, even when she had to work too so she wasn't totally dependent on him,” she explains, ”It was chaos for a long time. Aegon and I lost years of education because of his lack of commitment.”

“Really?” you look at her attentively and surprised.

“He missed the date to register us for kindergarten in our proper time. He always forgot our birthdays or some important date. But, of course, that never happened to him with our older stepsister, Rhaenyra.”

You remember Aemond mentioning her, though not much.

“And you don't talk to her?”

“Yes, of course,” she says with a small smile, “She was never at blame. In fact, by comparison, she always took us into account and never forgot our existence,” she explains, ”And well, eventually mom divorced him. And the only good thing dad did in the end was to mention us and give us parts of his inheritance in his will.”

Helaena's sincerity and calmness in sharing this about her life surprises you and, at the same time, makes you understand the complicated family history behind them. Now it's no wonder why Aegon was so angry to bring up the subject of parents.

Nor do you ignore the connection you begin to feel towards them, obviously because of your mother and her abandonment.

“It must have been very difficult, for everyone,” you murmur, ”I'm sorry to hear that.”

She nods, though her expression doesn't reflect bitterness, but something akin to mature acceptance.

“Yes, but that made us strong,” she says with a slight smile, "Aegon was the one who resented his absence the most, as you could see," she tells you knowingly, ”You know, being the eldest and all. But we're more… happy now, now that he's gone,” she confesses.

You let out a long breath, watching her with compassion.

“Thank you for telling me. I didn't mean to intrude, really.”

“No, it's fine, it really doesn't affect me,” she assures you softly, ”After that Aegon scene at dinner, it's valid you know. So don't worry.”

You both smile softly at each other, expressions warm and sincere, falling silent. When Helaena stands up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Well…” she says, letting out a slight sigh, adjusting her backpack, ”I should be going now. I also have projects to finish.”

“Sure,” you nod, ”Thanks for coming and talking to me.”

“Oh, there's nothing to thank you for. Anytime. I'll see you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

You both say goodbye and you watch her walk away in the direction of the main building, her silver hair shining in the sunlight, as you let out a long breath and put your headphones back in.

Prom.

You really don't understand what you're doing here. But it's all Alysanne's doing, like the makeup, hairstyle and dress.

You get out of Cregan's car with a beautiful lilac metallic dress on. Finding it wasn't hard at all, since it was like love at first sight, especially since it has a princess cut. And upon measuring it, Alysanne also decided that it was the one.

The hairstyle was also easy, after all, you didn't want anything too voluminous or too fancy. So a wavy style in your hair with a crown of silver flowers at the crown of your head was the perfect touch.

Alysanne on the other hand chose a beautiful wine colored dress that flatters her at every angle, deciding to gather her hair with two strands falling on either side of her face, making her look absolutely elegant and gorgeous.

And once all three of you are ready, Cregan dressed in an impeccable dark suit, offers you both his arms and you enter the grand ballroom of the luxurious hotel together.

The ballroom is illuminated by the typical disco balls hanging from the high ceiling, casting silver and white sparkles that create an almost magical atmosphere.

The decor is elegant and subtle, with centerpieces of fresh flowers and candles giving each table a touch of romantic charm.

You feel a mixture of nerves and excitement as you enter, as if it's all part of a dream. After all, it is your prom and tonight symbolizes a chapter you are about to close, your high school years.

The dance floor is in the center, surrounded by tables in a circle and already some of the guests have started to dance, getting lost in the rhythm of the soft music that fills the atmosphere thanks to the DJ.

Although not only disco balls light up the place, but also some colored lights to make the atmosphere more colorful.

If someone had told you in your freshman year everything that was going to happen in your final year, you would have laughed out loud and wouldn't have believed it at all, because your life was too boring.

But here you are, with still those events in mind, where at the end of the night, you will put them behind you.

You adjust your lilac dress, whose princess-cut skirt falls in soft layers to the floor. The fabric moves with you, as if it were an extension of your own footsteps, and the color shimmers delicately under the silver lights.

The three of you make your way to one of the tables to take a seat and you take a closer look around you as the decorations and you also see familiar faces of some of your classmates, some laughing in groups and others on the dance floor with their dates.

And Alysanne, excited and obsessed with everything, wants to have memories of the whole night and soon the three of you are taking a long selfie session with her phone.

Cregan complains about too many photos and the laughter of the three fills the air as Alysanne continues to make sure she captures the best shots, changing angles and poses.

Alysanne, with a huge smile, spins around on herself and then grabs your hands to dance with her, laughing every time you both take a step out of rhythm. You can feel her pure happiness, an excitement that doesn't take long to become contagious and where Cregan soon joins in.

The dance floor is filling up and the sparkles of the lights reflecting off everyone's costumes and dresses create an enchanting and magical atmosphere.

The DJ starts mixing more upbeat songs, and you see how everyone is having fun, laughing and dancing.

Immediately this catches Alysanne's attention and she drags the three of you onto the dance floor with infectious laughter. Before you know it, you're in the middle of the dance floor with them, surrounded by movement and music.

The music beats on the floor and vibrates in your chest, and, slowly, you begin to let loose, moving to the beat of the songs as the colored lights swirl above you all.

“I'm going to get a drink!” you let them both know over the music.

You have no idea exactly how much time passes that you find yourself dancing, enjoying the night, the echo of laughter and the warmth of the crowd.

The euphoria makes you forget and enjoy yourself as you feel your throat dry and your feet start to ache, with your body starting to beg for water and a little break.

“Okay!” Cregan nods, throwing you a smile, still dancing with Alysanne.

You smile knowingly, since after all, these two deserve to have their moment, and you walk away towards the table where there are different desserts and the drinks for all the graduates.

You take a bottle of water, and as you drink, the immediate relief makes you close your eyes for a moment, enjoying the coolness.

And only at that moment, standing alone and a little apart, you notice the glances of some people around you, mainly girls passing by you and whispering something between them, looking at you out of the corner of their eyes.

Great.

You thought you were past all this but even at prom it doesn't stop.

You take a deep breath and look out onto the dance floor, where you make out Alysanne and Cregan dancing close together, smiling and animated. You certainly don't want to interrupt them and you look around again, trying to distract yourself with anything you can find to rest your feet on.

You try not to make a big deal of it and look back at them for just a few moments with a serious look on your face and again try to focus on regaining your energy, telling yourself that this shouldn't affect you.

You remind yourself that you are here for you and your friends, and that is all that should matter to you.

When your gaze unconsciously focuses on Floris.

With her arm intertwined with a boy, whom you recognize from the lacrosse team, she looks absolutely elegant with a beautiful hairstyle and a gorgeous pink dress.

And as she joins the party, she seems totally focused on enjoying the evening, her expression relaxed and happy.

You look away from her, focused on something else, where your attention slips unintentionally to Alys, surrounded by her friends.

In the distance, suddenly her gaze meets yours and you quickly look away, not knowing why but… you really don't want to deal with or care about those people anymore.

She's wearing dark makeup and a sensual emerald green dress that completely clings to her body and highlights her curves. She looks completely beautiful, but knowing her attitude and behavior, it makes her lose her charm.

You watch Helaena for a few more seconds, her energy lighting up the dance floor, when suddenly, a tall, familiar figure catches your attention on the other side of the room in the crowd.

Instead, you focus on Helaena, who you find among all the people dancing, getting carried away by the atmosphere and in the company of the friend who told you.

Her silver hair is swaying to the music and she shines in the middle of everyone in that beautiful sky blue dress and gold accessories, looking absolutely gorgeous.

Aemond is standing a few feet away, talking to Aegon, both looking absolutely handsome for the evening. Then, the atmosphere around you seems to fade a bit and he's the only one who catches your eye in the middle of the crowd.

And that mixture of emotions about him rises in your chest again.

You take a closer look at who is around him and it is only Aegon. You don't see any girl hanging on his arm or anything, so apparently he has come unaccompanied, just like you.

He is dressed in a dark suit that highlights his slender figure and impeccable posture, just like Aegon. The silver light of the disc balls bring out his silver hair and his face so perfectly detailed, giving it a glow that is almost unreal to you.

Your gaze lingers on him longer than you had anticipated. From a distance, you can notice the lack of expressions on his face and the small twitch of his lips as he speaks to Aegon, looking around him without really showing any emotion.

That eye contact takes the air out of you. The memory of all the things you shared, the conversations, the looks, the touching and kissing… it all comes over you.

And at that very moment, as if sensing the weight of your attention, Aemond looks up and sees you beyond the crowd, apart and alone. The visual connection is instantaneous, almost electric, and suddenly you feel all the people and bustle around you fade away.

You can't deny the attraction and deep affection that, even now, beat intensely in your chest. And, for an instant, you wonder if he too feels the same mix of nostalgia and sadness in the midst of it all.

You notice how he looks you up and down, lingering on every detail of what you're wearing today, his eyes shining, filled with a kind of wary hope and longing, completely stealing your breath.

Then, his body language tells you he's getting ready to move. Coming at you, with her determined gaze.

Oh God.

A sense of panic invades every part of your body. And before he can do anything, you look away and quickly make your way to the dance floor, blending into the crowd, heading towards your friends.

The music booms in your ears and your thoughts are in complete chaos, hitting you one after the other.

Closing your eyes for a moment, you tell yourself that you just want to enjoy the night, to stop thinking about him and what was, even if it's only for a few hours.

So time passes, the energy of the dance becomes more relaxed, and though you manage to avoid crossing paths directly with Aemond, his presence seems to haunt your mind like a lingering ghost, one that doesn't dissipate with the music or the bright lights.

You look around from time to time, and out of the corner of your eye you notice that he also seems to avoid being too close to you, although you can't help thinking that maybe he is also looking for you in the crowd, as you are looking for him.

Until, finally, the atmosphere immediately changes.

The lights dim and the silver and warm tones transform the room into an intimate place. Couples begin to approach the dance floor, holding hands, to dance to the slow songs. And you decide it's the perfect time to take a break.

You smile at Cregan and Alysanne, giving them another moment again, feeling a twinge of tenderness and, at the same time, unexpected loneliness.

You take a seat at one of the nearby tables, watching as the dance floor fills with couples slowly swaying to the music.

Dresses and suits intertwine, and for a moment, you let yourself be enveloped by the warmth of the atmosphere, allowing yourself to feel invisible in the midst of all that harmony.

You watch Floris dancing with that boy, Alysanne with Cregan of course, and Helaena dancing with her friend, both with amused smiles and talking softly without taking the slow dance so seriously. You also see Aegon dancing very close with a girl.

And as your eyes wander around the dance floor, your gaze focuses again on his figure, which seems just as lonely as yours.

A few tables away, Aemond sits alone, surveying the dance floor with an expression you fail to fully decipher. His fingers drum on the rim of his glass, and, for a moment, he seems lost in his own thoughts. He looks calm, almost vulnerable.

You stare at him longer than you think and sigh, averting your gaze, and as the seconds pass, the urge to stand still and do nothing begins to fade.

You bite the inside of your cheek and begin to move your foot up and down rapidly, feeling your heart begin to beat too fast. You watch all the people dancing again, hesitating.

Then you let out a long breath and without knowing exactly why, you take a deep breath and stand up. With slow steps, a momentum and a calmness you try to maintain, you head towards him.

As you get closer, you notice how his gaze, which was lost on the dance floor, suddenly focuses on you, noticing before out of the corner of his eye your approaching figure. Surprise and bewilderment mixed with something else appears in his gaze and you stop in front of him, nervous but determined.

Then neither of you say anything for a few moments. The same nerves make you unable to speak and the two of you just stand there, watching each other.

You feel how some people around you suddenly have their attention focused on both of you, waiting for what you will do, but you don't even pay attention to them. You just focus completely on him.

Until you sigh.

"Do you dance?" you ask softly and nervous.

The words seem to break the spell, and Aemond blinks, clearly surprised and somehow confused.

You watch the expression on his face, as if he's processing every word you've just said, looking for some hint of doubt or change of heart in your expression.

"S-sure," he says still confused, not expecting this at all.

There's a mix of emotions in his eyes, confusion, surprise and nervousness, something you wouldn't have expected to see in him. And you, not wanting to drag this out any longer than necessary, extend your hand to him.

He watches your face attentively and then your hand, still surprised, to finally take it gently. His fingers intertwine with yours, sending an electricity throughout your body through his touch as he stands up.

You swallow hard, feeling your heart beating like crazy and nervousness invading your whole system. And without another word, you both head for the dance floor.

Then, everything around you fades away, the murmurs and laughter, even the music itself becomes a distant whisper, and only he remains, next to you.

He places a hand on your waist, his touch delicate, as if he doesn't want to do anything that could break this fragile instant. You take his other hand, intertwining it with yours and as you both begin to move to the rhythm of the music, you feel how a mixture of emotions floods each of your senses.

Aemond watches you, his eyes fixed on yours and with a nervous little smile on his lips, as if he can't believe this is really happening.

The music moves forward, slow, allowing you to glide in front of each other. As his steps synchronize with yours, the movements become smooth and natural.

And in a moment you realize that you both are completely absorbed in each other, as if nothing and no one could interrupt this bubble that surrounds you.

Finally, Aemond breaks the silence, his voice barely audible over the music and shy, watching you with a gleam in his eye.

"You look beautiful."

He says to you, his words so sincere and emotionally charged that you feel a surge of warmth wash over you.

You wish his words didn't make you melt. But they do. And everything about him, every gesture, his closeness, the firm, protective touch of his hand on your waist, the way he holds you, as if you were something precious and delicate, envelops and intoxicates you.

"Thank you," you reply, feeling a soft smile appear on your lips, "You too... you look very handsome."

He smiles, marking the dimples on either side of his cheeks.

"I wasn't expecting you to come over," he admits, his eyes revealing something between vulnerability and surprise.

The tone of his voice, so soft and honest, makes you feel a warmth you haven't experienced in a long time.

"I didn't know I would," you reply with a barely perceptible smile, "But I thought, maybe... I don't want to spend the night running away," you confess.

He nods, not looking away.

"I didn't want it to be like that either."

His hand on your waist pulls you slightly closer to him with a firm movement and the slight brush makes you aware of the closeness between the two of you.

You feel your thoughts cloud over and you let yourself become more enveloped by him, unable to help it.

His chin brushes your forehead and you feel that at any moment your heart will jump out of your chest. It's an insistent, powerful beat that seems to resonate with every breath you take at his side.

Then, Aemond lowers his voice, his tone becoming softer, almost melancholy, as if his words are a secret shared only between the two of you.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to be my date that day, you know? When I gave you the folder.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to be my date that day, you know, when I gave you the folder," he confesses, with a certain melancholy tone, "But I knew it wouldn't be fair to ask you that and I really didn't want to hurt you anymore."

The sincerity in his tone pierces you, and you feel your own barriers begin to crumble. You listen to him with your heart pounding, absorbing every word.

Aemond sighs and his fingers tighten slightly at your waist.

"And a moment ago, when I saw you so perfect and so beautiful in this dress... I realized how much I wished I had walked through those doors with you on my arm," he says with a longing and sadness.

The music continues to envelop you and you feel his confession reverberate through you, intensifying every sensation, every emotion.

The strength of his words, of the connection that has been created between the two of you in the middle of this song, makes the air seem thick and charged with meanings that don't need to be explained.

Then you raise your gaze to him and you both stare at each other in silence, where your words seem to get caught in your throat.

His eyes roam over your face, as if he wants to remember every detail, as if he wants to take this moment with him. There is a sadness and a softness in his gaze that you haven't seen before, and it makes something in your chest tighten.

And again his voice breaks through the soft silence that envelops you.

"I'm sorry... for everything," he says barely a whisper, laden with a sincerity that resonates deeply.

His fingers trace slow circles on your back, small gestures that seem to try to comfort you and to comfort him too. The contact between the two of you is firm and warm, and yet, you feel as if Aemond fears that at any moment this could disappear.

For a moment, the music seems to fade, leaving only your heartbeat and the echo of his voice in the air.

You feel the urge to speak, to say something that would ease the vulnerability on his face, but you find it difficult to organize your thoughts.

Instead, you opt for a simple but meaningful gesture. You propel yourself a little towards him and leave a soft kiss on his cheek, then rest your head on his chest and gently inhale his expensive cologne, being comforting enough for you.

"It's okay," you murmur.

He lets out a sigh of relief, mixed with longing and makes his grip on your waist tighter, not wanting to let go. Then, he leaves a soft kiss on the crown of your head, resting his head on yours as you both continue to sway gently to the music.

"Thank you for giving me this dance," he murmurs.

You place a soft, small smile on your lips, then raise your gaze to his, watching him with nothing but fondness.

He continues to watch you with that softness and one of his hands goes up to your cheek. In a delicate, almost fearful touch, his thumb runs over your skin in a gesture that is both protective and vulnerable.

Then he rests his forehead against yours and you both close your eyes, as you lean into him.

You both fall silent, letting the slow rhythm of the music carry you away, allowing the moment to linger, in a fragile and honest peace.

You feel that you could stay like this, in this bubble of time and silence, without the need for words, because, in this instant, you both understand what has been said and what doesn't need to be said.

The song changes to another slow one and you both lose yourselves in the moment, enjoying it, not wanting it to end.

Time seems to stand still as you dance together, moving slowly and leisurely, as if nothing and no one else exists. The sounds of the party fade around you, leaving only the beating of your hearts and the faint brush of your breaths.

Your eyes close as you let go, feeling his hand on your back and the warmth his body gives off, so close and so full of meaning.

You both breathe in sync, your foreheads resting against each other, your eyes closed as the moment stretches out and becomes more than just a dance.

This instant is a truce, a refuge where everything else, the doubts, the pain, the past, is suspended and what follows is moving forward.

"You've got everything ready to go to college?"

His voice breaks the silence softly, barely a murmur, as if afraid to disturb the peace around you both.

"Yeah," you murmur, nodding.

"What are you traveling there on?"

"Well, I was checking with my dad about bus and plane ticket prices. But I still haven't made up my mind," you admit, remembering discussions about which was the safest and cheapest option.

Aemond nods, thoughtfully. Then, after a brief pause, he speaks with calm assurance.

"I can take you."

You look at him instantly surprised, definitely not expecting that.

"What?"

"I can take you," he repeats, sure of his words, "Well, sure, if you want," he hastens to clarify, "After all, we're going to the same place and I'll make the trip in my car," he explains, "There's plenty of room for your bags along with mine and so you won't have to spend on a ticket. Besides, it would be safer and I think, I don't know, you'd be more comfortable."

You remain silent, trying to assimilate what he has just said. There is something in his words, in the slow and sincere tone, that strikes a deep chord in you.

The idea of making the trip together, of sharing that important moment of departure, of having one last time alone before facing a new life, awakens a mix of emotions that are difficult to describe.

He lowers his gaze for a moment, nervous, clarifying in a low voice.

"It's just a suggestion... something I thought might make things easier for you. You don't have to do it if you don't want to."

Your heart pounds, and somehow, the simplicity of his offer, the naturalness with which he cares for you, causes a warm surge of gratitude and affection to wash over you.

"Can you really do that for me?" you ask quietly, with a little smile you can't help.

"Sure," he says absurdly softly, as if it weren't obvious, "But only if you want me to. I don't want to force you. It's just an option."

You look up at him, holding his gaze for a second that seems like forever, and nod slowly, allowing the feeling of relief and closeness to wash over you.

"I'd love to," you whisper, your voice barely a murmur, "Thank you."

The shadow of a smile tugs at his lips, and you can see the relief in his expression.

"No need to thanks."

Without another word, Aemond pulls you a little closer to him and again the two of you bring your foreheads together, letting the moment lengthen as the music changes to another slow rhythm.

You both remain like that, moving in silence and enjoying the moment, spending the last moment of your high school lives together, to start college together.

"Are you ready?"

Aemond watches you from the driver's seat, his hands resting calmly on the steering wheel with a small smile on his face.

The car is already loaded with suitcases for both of you and you nod, taking a deep breath to calm the emotions fluttering in your chest.

The thought of heading off together towards this new stage causes a mixture of nerves and excitement to wash over you, though a part of you also feels comforted by Aemond's presence at your side.

"Yes," you reply, adjusting your belt.

You watch him and he gives you one last knowing look before putting the car in move.

Saying goodbye to your dad was difficult, but it was something you were both already preparing for and you knew that moment would come.

Besides, he met Aemond, as your friend who will do you the favor of driving you to college and nothing more. And your dad felt safer with that instead of taking the plane or bus alone.

Especially after Aemond promised him countless times that he would take care of you at all times.

The road is serene at first, and Aemond turns on the radio, letting a soft melody fill the comfortable silence between them.

The roads stretch out in front of you, long and exciting, as the landscape changes shape and the kilometers pass, leaving behind the city where you experienced so much.

From time to time, you exchange glances, small comments about the places you see and the expectations each has for the university.

Aemond seems especially careful, attentive to every sign on the road and every change in your expression, as if he wants to make sure you are comfortable and at ease.

And he especially notices a change in your expression.

"Is something bothering you?" he asks you, his voice low but close, filling the space in a comforting way.

You watch him and after some hesitation, you shrug.

"I guess it makes me a little nervous not knowing what to expect," you admit, "This whole new stage... the idea of being alone in a new place."

Aemond nods, understanding what you mean, his eyes fixed on the road.

"I guess it's normal," he tells you softly, "It's almost obligatory to feel this way, but, for what it's worth... you won't be completely alone."

His gaze meets yours for a second before he turns back to the road.

"I'm going to be around if at any time you need anything or anything happens, anything at all."

You feel a warmth settle in your chest, and a part of your nerves seem to fade. The idea of him being there, close by, offering you that closeness, gives you a strange sense of relief.

"Thank you, Aemond," you murmur with a small smile.

He smiles, marking a dimple in his cheek, and turns his eyes to the front.

The ride continues, where the atmosphere in the car becomes more and more comfortable, chatting about small details, expectations, and the occasional joke that makes you both laugh comfortably.

And finally, as the two enter the town of Oldtown and the university looms in the distance, Aemond slows down, looking at the campus that would soon become his home.

"There it is," he says, a slight excitement in his voice.

The same excitement rubs off on you and excitedly, you take his hand, intertwining it with yours, excited and hopeful.

Hopeful that all that is to come for you in this place are good and promising things. As well as hopeful for Aemond and for you.

series taglist:

@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes @dixie-elocin @lilostif16 @wickedfrsgrl @a-beaverhausen @saturnssrings @ladythornofrivia @vhwyrm @strangersunghoon @queen-of-elves

[withwritersblock]

Daylight

~Daylight by Taylor Swift~

Author's Note: requested! I love Nathan Mackinnon Summary: erm friends to strangers to friends again to lovers? Warnings: swearing maybe? Word Count: 5,431 Nathan Mackinnon x fm!reader

It was a huge life decision that she was convinced was going to fail miserably. Moving to the States felt like an awful decision but she was tired of staying in the same place she has lived in her whole life. 

Her newly found ex-boyfriend also had lived there his entire life and it showed. There was never any desire to grow or change. There was no way she wanted to stay in Nova Scotia her whole life. Despite it being one of the most gorgeous places in the world, there was plenty gorgeous places in the States too.

She sent her resume to probably a hundred different places and Denver ended up being the best option. They offered the most travel money and salary. It seemed perfect. Her apartment was only two blocks away from her job and on nice days she was more than willing to walk.

Today, it was April and her apartment was covered in boxes. The movers were able to bring everything into the apartment but after that there was nothing they could do. She was making good money, great money. Some of the best money she’s ever made in her entire life so she might’ve went a little big on the apartment; and a little big on the furniture.

Instead of happily unpacking, she found herself sobbing on the floor after she pulled out a framed photo of herself with her ex. It was something she either accidentally packed our the movers did. She was not sure.

They had been together since they were seventeen and they broke up a decade later. It was a lot of her life that she sometimes wished she could get back. There was times she wished she ended it sooner. Because who waits a decade to even bring up marriage. 

She got out and that’s all that matters. 

Wiping the tears from her face she stood up from the floor and stumbled towards her bathroom, the only room that was semi-unpacked. She decided to shower and get a freshstart on the day. Even though it was well into the afternoon.

After another hour she decided to head down to the coffee shop that was only two buildings over. They were nearly a twenty-four hour place, which is just the coffee shop she needs. 

It was starting to get dark as it was close to six at night, but the sun was setting over the mountains, casting a pink and purple hue to the sky. The sidewalks were suprisingly busy with tourists. It was evident by the way they were taking pictures and speeding down the sidewalks towards their next destination. 

She smiled towards herself as she stepped inside the coffee shop and it wasn’t crowded. Maybe people didn’t have as big of a caffeine addiction like she did. She walked behind the small line towards the counter, three blonde men stood in front of her and she kept her distance. 

She was tuning out their voices as she was listening to the Taylor Swift song playing in the background. After the last one ordered, the three of them erupted into laughter. 

“New contract, Caler, thanks for the coffee,” one of them said as they smacked their hand against his upper back. They all barked out a laugh before the first two wandered towards a table near the center of the shop. 

The man in front of her, Caler apparently, paid for the coffees before he followed his friends. 

The barista smiled towards her, looking somewhat exhausted. She felt a little guilty now that she was there. “Can I get an iced lavender latte to go?” Y/N asked her. She nodded immediately grabbing the largest size clear cup and started writing on it.

“Shut up man,” she heard one of them say from the corner but she chose to try her best to ignore it. She handed her card over to the barista and quickly paid for it, keeping her gaze towards her. “Nate don’t be weird,” she heard again. 

She took her card back and subconsciously glanced towards the three of them. She stopped short, holding her card in the air while she met one of their gazes. A man she hasn’t seen in eleven years.

Well, she’s seen him but not like this. Not face to face or in public. He was much older and had a different smile but it was Nathan. 

She thought Denver was too big to run into him, especially since he was dominating the NHL at the moment.

“Y/N,” he let out barely above a whisper as he crossed around the table, moving quickly towards her. Her eyes widened as she slowly put her card back into her wallet.

“Nathan,” she let out with a soft grin.

“What are you doing in Denver?” he let out excitedly, his hands were interlocked; almost as if he was trying to decide if he should hug her. She slipped her wallet back into her hoodie pocket as she stepped away from the counter. 

Glancing towards the other two boys whom she assumed were his teammates. She was a Canadiens fan since that’s who her parents root for. But she was never obsessed with the sport. Based off of the decor in the coffee shop, she could see from behind Nathan’s head that she should know who they are.

Swallowing hard, “I just moved here for a job,” she explained. His eyes widened as he smiled.

“Where’s Carter?” Nathan asked while whipping his head around to see the two guys staring towards him. He waved his hand at them hoping they would stop. 

Her mouth fell open while she took in a sharp breath, “We broke up a few months ago,” she let out.

He pulled his head back while nodding; crossing his arms over his chest. “That sucks, I’m sorry. You guys were together for a long time,”

She chuckled while tilting her head to the side, “Too long, but it’s all good. Needed a fresh start,” she explained while brushing a piece of hair away from her face. He nodded before pressing his lips together. 

“Denver’s a great place for that,” he mumbled.

The barista called out Cale’s name and the two other guys jumped up from their seats to go grab their drinks. They were all hot coffee in to go cups.

“It is,” she mumbled as she continued to look into his eyes, “H-how’s the season going? You know I don’t really pay much attention-” 

“Still a Habs fan?” Nathan asked as Cale handed him his drink. She smiled and nodded. “Well, we’re heading to the playoffs in a week so we’ll see.” 

“Better than the Habs,” she muttered jokingly. He chuckled as he continued to look into her eyes. “That’s great, I hope it works out for you guys,” 

“Tha-thanks,” he mumbled.

“Nate, we gotta head out,” the other guy said walking up behind them, “Got to get to the arena. Why don’t you get her number and call her after our meeting?” he teased as he pushed past them. Nathan chuckled as watched them walk away before he met her gaze again. 

“That’s Gabe, doesn’t know how to switch off being captain,” he explained. She smiled as she looked into his light eyes again, something in them made her heart flutter. He looks so good.

“I see,” she mumbled as she saw the barista hold out her drink towards her, “Thank you,” she said as she gladly took the drink. Nathan took in a sharp breath as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

“My number’s changed a few times since secondary school,” he explained as he held out an empty contact in his phone. She took a hold of it and added herself to his phone. “Just in case you need some friends in the city, I’ve got a few to spare,” he continued meeting her eye.

“Thanks Nathan, I guess I’ll see you,” she muttered. He nodded before he walked out of the coffee shop. She watched him leave and felt herself overthinking the conversation. Did that really just happen?

“I’m so sorry but how do you know Nathan Mackinnon?” the barista said as she leaned over the counter. Y/N pulled herself out of the small trance she was in and looked towards the dark brown haired girl beside her.

“We grew up together back in Canada. I haven’t seen him since we were sixteen,” Y/N explained, shocked to say the least. The barista smiled widely. 

“Wow, that’s like-so cool,” she said while shaking her head. She turned around and immediately started cleaning something.

Y/N nodded with a hum falling from her lips, she continued to walk out of the coffee shop to head towards her apartment again.

~~~

It had been a few days since she ran into Nathan and they had been texting constantly since Nathan was incredibly busy with the end of the season coming up and their first round in the playoffs against the Predators. 

Her apartment was slowly starting to come together. Majority of her furniture arrived and she convinced the movers to place it exactly where she needed it to be. Even after a handful of “wait can you actually put it on that side, thank you.” She hated being that person but she didn’t have anyone to help her move them.

The thought of asking Nathan to help crossed her mind but it was such a difficult and essential time in his life. They were in Minnesota for the last game of the season and even in the text messages it was obvious that he was nervous. But he was Nathan Mackinnon and he was not supposed to be nervous. 

For the first time by herself, she decided to sit down and watch a hockey game. Her former boyfriend was a huge hockey fan, specifically the Pittsburg Penguins. Because he was such a nice guy he had the multi-broadcast so she could watch the Habs play as well. Whenever they were playing at the same time.

She sat at the center of her new couch and draped a light pink blanket over her lap and she turned on the local Altitude broadcast. She put on her Lehkonen jersey that her father gave her after she said she was moving to Denver. 

He told her that if his two favorite people were moving to Denver at least she should have his favorite player’s jersey. He was joking mostly, but her mother didn’t find it that funny. But she promised that she would wear it every time she watched a game or went to one. Especially since her dad actually was close to heartbroken when he was traded.

The game started and she saw Nathan take the draw. She found herself smiling. She was also excited to watch the game again. She hasn’t been excited to watch the game since she was a kid. The joy of watching it with her dad and bonding with him over it was everything. Except Carter took that away from her. The game was ruined for her because of the rage he would get every time they made a bad play or lost the game.

But she was alone, a glass of rosè in her hand and her dad’s favorite player on her jersey. The apartment was nearly pitch black and the only light was the TV screen. 

The game ended with a difficult loss but she was happy to actually have enjoyed the game. 

All she knew was that the next set of games were going to be hard and she was excited to watch and excited to talk to Nathan about it. The more she thought about him over the last few months, the more she realized how close they used to be.

There was a time in her life where Nathan was always around and they were inseparable. Until he joined Halifax and he became a future star. It wasn’t intentional with how he left, he tried to reach out and be there but his life was going warp speed and hers was slowly moving on. 

She never forgot about him and he clearly hasn’t forgotten about her. She took in a deep breath before she stood up from the couch. Placing her empty glass onto the coffee table before she folded the blanket and draped it over the top of the couch.

Her father started to video call her and she pulled her head back for a moment. Never someone to call this late, let alone call her ever. She answered it and held it ahead of her waiting for him to show up on the screen. He smiled widely as he saw the Habs jersey on her body.

“Were you watching hockey?” he asked. She nodded as her lips curled upward into a small grin.

“I ran into someone,” she muttered. Her dad’s eyes squinted while he furrowed his eyebrows. “Nathan,” she let out simply. He tilted his head to the side for a second before his mouth fell open.

“Our Nate?” he let out. She wasn’t sure if he meant Nova Scotia’s or their little social circle. 

“Yeah, literally two days after I got here. How crazy is that,” she expressed.

“Man, you guys haven’t talks since he joined the Mooseheads, wow,” he let out. Something felt off with his tone, nearly sarcastic.

“Why are you talking like that?” 

“I’m not talking like anything,” he said, pouting his bottom lip slightly.

“Dad,” she nearly scolded.

He took a long dramatic inhale before shutting his eyes, “Nate told his mom about running into you and then she called your mother and we’ve been waiting for you to bring it up to talk about it,” he opened his eyes and glanced away from his phone, most likely her mother.

“I forget how tiny that town is sometimes,” she muttered before she ran her hand across her eyes.

“Are you guys talking?” her mother shouted, it sounded faint through the phone.

“We’ve been texting but he’s busy-you know- being a professional athlete.” she explained while laughing nervously.

~~~

The series against the Predators ended with a sweep for them which led to a long break until the next one for the Avalanche. Which led to Nathan coming over to help finish decorating her apartment. Aka, she went on a late night shopping spree while wine drunk and now her living room is full of boxes once again.

The doorbell rang and she felt her body jolt. She walked towards the door, taking in a deep breath. She pulled the door open and Nathan was standing there holding a bottle of wine. He smiled widely once he met her gaze.

“Hey,” he mumbled. She smiled as she stepped aside letting him into her apartment.

“Hey, you didn’t have to bring anything,” she expressed, referencing the very expensive bottle. He glanced down, smirking. 

“It’s actually not meant to be drunk tonight,” he let out. Meeting her eye, she nodded as she watched him delicately place it down onto the counter. Squinting her eyes suspiciously as she pursed her lips forward. He pressed his lips together as he continued to look into her eye. 

“I know it was a long time ago but I’ve been doing some thinking. The last time we hung out before I started playing for Halifax we talked about what would happen when I joined the NHL. Do you remember?” he asked, a smile toying to his lips. She shook her head as she leaned against the counter. “We talked about what would happen if I get a chance to win the Cup.”

She nodded, “Oh yeah,” she said with a smile.

“We talked about if I win, we’d drink a $500 bottle of wine and celebrate just you and me,” he expressed. She glanced down towards the wine before flickering her eye back towards him. Furrowing her eyebrows slightly, she tilted her head to the side. 

“Every playoff run I’ve thought about that conversation. Even though you were back in Nova Scotia, I still thought about it,” he explained as he tapped his fingers against the countertop. “This was the first season I bought a bottle. I bought it two days before we ran into one another at the coffee shop,”

“Wait, so you bought it before you knew I moved here?” she mumbled.

“If we won the Cup, you were going to be one of the first people I called,” he explained as he smirked towards her. She nodded as she took in sharp breath, “Anyway, let’s get to decorating.” he said switching the subject quickly. She pursed her lips forward as she delicately took a hold of the bottle. Slowly, she delicately ran her thumb across the label, hoping she would get a chance to open it with him.

“I’m looking forward to opening it,” she let out nonchalantly as she put the wine bottle onto a different more secluded counter.

He chuckled nervously as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Gotta win the Cup first,” he mumbled.

“You will, Nathan,” she said with a wide smile. He smirked as he stumbled backwards towards her living room. “I honestly don’t remember what I bought, so this should be fun,” she sat down in front of one of the boxes as he followed in pursuit. Without hesitation, he ripped open the box. He pulled out a picture frame an empty picture frame.

“An empty frame?” he let out while chuckling. She rolled her eyes playfully as she attempted to rip open the box in front of her.

“I told you I was wine drunk,” she defended as she finally ripped open the box. She let out a sudden laugh as the blanket she purchased came into full view. It was a red and white Habs blanket. She pulled it out and held it towards Nathan. His mouth fell open as he giggled.

“You’re going to have to put that away when I come over,” he said while shaking his head.

“Oh, just wait,” she teased while raising her eyebrows. She stood up from the ground and quickly sped walk down the hallway towards her bedroom. After a minute she returned to her living room holding up her Habs jersey against her chest. Nathan looked up towards her giggled. 

“Who is it?” he asked while moving his head back and forth trying to see the number on the side. Spinning it around, she showed the Lehkonen on the back. He clapped his hands together while tilting his head back. 

“Now you’re just rubbing it in my face!” he let out while laughing.

“At least he plays on your team now,” she said as she sat down on the floor again, delicately placing the jersey on the couch directly behind her.

“Fucking great guy,” he let out while raising his eyebrows. 

The rest of the evening was filled with giggling and showing off the ridiculous decor she bought. It nearly reminded her of how they were when they were teenagers. It was as if there wasn’t a decade between the last time they hung out like this. 

It’s been years since the last time she felt so giddy. It was almost impossible to let him leave. They hovered at her door for several minutes before he slipped out of the apartment. Hovering for a long time, lot of intense eye contact. Subtle smirks and lack of distance.

~~~

Tonight was a roller coaster of emotions. It was game five against the St. Louis Blues and Nathan had a hat trick and an assist. It should’ve been more than enough to push the Avs to the third round. Except the Blues tied it late and won it in overtime. 

She watched the game from her couch, despite Nathan telling her she could hang out with the WAGs. She declined because it felt weird to her since she wasn’t a part of the club. She had her Habs blanket wrapped around her shoulders, squeezed tightly to her chest just beneath her chin.

Her gaze shifted towards the bottle on the counter a few feet away. Knowing that they will get to open that bottle this season. The post-game show was playing in the background but she was only half listening as she was scrolling through her Twitter feed. Most of it was about anything but hockey, it was a decent distraction.

Her eyes widened as her phone started to vibrate in her hands, Nathan was calling her. Her lips curled upward as she saw his name, she knew he wasn’t going to be in a great mood but she answered it anyway.

“Hey,” she mumbled.

“Hey, can I see you?” he asked, his voice was grogging and raspy. It was sudden but she hummed unsure of how to reply, she couldn’t tell how he was truly feeling. “Okay, I’ll be over in like ten,” he said before he ended the call. She pulled the phone away from her ear, staring towards it for a moment before she delicately placed it beside her. 

She took a hold of the TV remote and put on New Girl to have in the background. She kept snuggling the blanket in the pitch black apartment, the TV being the only bit of light.

Her phone buzzed beside her and she glanced down to see a text from her dad. She smiled as she lifted her phone to read the message: Give Nate a hug for us, he’s got the next one.

She replied quickly before she turned off her phone and wandered towards her kitchen. She reached into the freezer and pulled out a small pint of ice cream. Quickly, she took a hold of a spoon and began to eat some of the ice cream before Nathan arrived. He was very determined on sticking his diet so he would not be phased by it even if she was eating it in front of him. 

After a few minutes, there was several knocks on the door and she set the pint down onto the counter. She walked towards the door and pulled it open. Nathan stood in the doorway, he looked exhausted. His lips fell into a small pout as he looked into her eyes. She reached her hands around his neck and pulled him into a tight embrace.

He loosely wrapped his arms around her waist as he slowly stepped inside gliding her inside. The door shut behind them as he continued to hold her to his chest. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” she whispered as she started running her fingers through the ends of his hair for a moment. He pulled away looking into her eyes, as if for the first time.

“I’m just glad you moved here,” he let out as he continued to look into her eye. She furrowed her eyebrows, confusion written all over her features. His lips curled up into a small grin, “It was a tough night but next game we’ll win,” he let out.

“That’s it?” she asked suspiciously.

“We lost, did it suck, absolutely, but there’s next game and we’re winning it. Simple,” he explained before he slowly slipped away from her grasp towards the couch. 

“You used to go silent after games you lost. There was a time you didn’t talk for nearly two days after you lost a regular season game back before the Mooseheads,” she expressed as she quickly reached for her ice cream and walked towards the couch again. He let out a dry laugh before he rubbed his nose.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Y/N, I’ve grown,” he said sarcastically while he took a hold of the Habs blanket and draped it over his lap, “You’re lucky Drouin’s over there,” he muttered as he held it open for her to sit beside him. Delicately, he laid it over her lap. 

Every times the Hab’s were even slightly brought up, he had to have a dig towards the fact that she was a fan, always hinting that she should convert to an Avs fan. Even left her a gift of Lehkonen’s Avs jersey on her doorstep. Said that Lehky’s gonna be sticking around, so you better get an updated jersey.

“It’s good to see you… like that,” she expressed, finding it difficult to get the right words out. 

“I would do the silent thing for a long time in the league. I would just get so mad that it was easier to stay quiet than talk,” he said as he held his hand out towards her. She stared towards him mildly concerned. He stole the spoon from her hand and took barely any ice cream and brought it towards his mouth.

“Did you just-”

“Yup,” he teased before he dropped the spoon back into the pint. She chuckled as she took a much bigger spoonful and brought it towards her own lips. “I’ve gotten a lot better and letting things go,” he continued. He took in a sharp breath, “Letting go most things,” he let out as he met her gaze for only a second before looked back towards the screen.

Swallowing hard, she stared towards his side profile. She was always fond of his nose, despite how crooked it looked since his teenage years, he was elegant. “What haven’t you let go?” she poked.

Looking back towards her, meeting her eye he fought the words he wanted to say. “It’s stupid,” he dropped his gaze towards his lap.

“Say it,” she pressed as she leaned forward, placing the ice cream onto the coffee table. 

“The night we talked about the Cup and the wine bottle or whatever back then, I remember that was the moment I realized I liked you,” he expressed, “I didn’t really realize it fully but that night I felt something for you I never felt before and then we never hung out again. Which was my bad so I-I guess that I never let go of the fact of what would have happen if I told you, I guess,” 

She smiled softly, staring down towards her lap. “What do you think would’ve happened?” she asked, sliding towards him slightly. He tilted his head back against the top of the couch. 

“Honestly, we probably would’ve gotten together and I probably would’ve ruined it,” he ran his fingers through his hair, awkwardly. 

“Why would you say that?” she pressed further turning her body towards him, leaning her head against the top of the couch. He turned his head, meeting her eye.

“Same reason why I stopped reaching out, being away from you would’ve been too hard,” he expressed. She nodded as she continued looking into his eye.

~~~

She was on the couch watching Nathan raise the Cup. He was crying tears of joy with the horrendous scraggly beard on his face. The Stanley Cup champion hat on his head, he had achieved his childhood dream. The summer of celebrations was about to happen. She wiped her hands across her cheeks, clearing the tears from her skin before she stood up. 

She took a hold of the wine bottle and placed it into the fridge because who likes warm wine?

A smile formed to her lips as the Avalanche jersey on her frame was something she never thought she would wear. Especially with how serious her dad was about the Habs. But she knew that he was rooting for Nathan and so was she.

She sat back on the couch and laid down as she watched the remainder of the broadcast, Nathan’s interview, and the team photo. An audible laugh fell from her lips after she watched Nicolas Aubė-Kubel drop the Cup. Everyone’s face was ridiculous.

She reached for her phone to see a text from Nathan: I can’t wait to be in Denver to celebrate with you.

The following morning she awoke to several missed called from Nathan almost as if he spent most of the night trying to get a hold of her. She rolled her eyes playfully as she began to call him back as she stumbled towards her kitchen and her coffee maker. 

It took a handful of rings before he answered.

“Hey,” his voice was nearly gone, so hoarse it was barely audible.

“Hey champion,” she teased.

“Still does not feel real,” he let out. 

“Denver was crazy last night, they’re excited for you guys to bring it home,” she explained. He chuckled.

“Can’t wait to see you,” he let out, “-And that wine bottle because it fucking happened and we are fucking celebrating,” 

It was that same night and she has spent most of the day simply waiting for Nathan. Ever since game five against the Blues, they started flirting more and the tension between them was getting more and more intense. 

It was hard to decipher exactly what was the tension from, lust or longing. It was impossible but tonight was the night she was going to try and dissect it and figure it out. She ran her fingers through her recently styled hair and stared into her reflection, trying to decide if she was happy with the way she looked. 

It didn’t matter as Nathan rang her doorbell three times. She leaped out of the bathroom and jogged down towards her front door. She pulled it open and smiled towards him. Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. A giggle fell from her lips as slowly glided her inside of the apartment. 

“It was better than I ever could’ve imagined,” he mumbled against her hair. “Wish you were there to experience it,” 

She slowly pulled away, meeting his gaze as she rested her hands on the base of his neck, “I’ll be there for the next one,” she let out. He smirked as his gaze flickered towards her lips for much longer than he would like to admit. 

“Yeah?” he let out. She nodded, keeping his gaze towards her lips. “Where’s that bottle?” he said slowly slipping away from her grasp. Perhaps in the need of some liquid courage. 

She pointed towards the fridge and he immediately pulled it open to look towards the bottle that’s been on his mind for over a decade. He pulled it out and delicately rested it onto the counter. She had already placed two glasses onto the counter as he was fetching the bottle. 

He popped it open, a grin wide on his lips. They giggled as he happily poured two large glasses of wine. He placed it back down as he slid the glass towards her. He brought it towards his lips at the same time as she did and they both took a long sip. It was probably the fanciest wine she’s ever had. He shut his eyes content as he took in a long breath. 

It had been several hours later and safe to say they were giggling and incredibly wine drunk. They were laid across her bed, nearly a bottle and a half shared between them, both of them were quite the lightweight. 

“No-no cause look I’ve got a bruise from that hug-alright!” he let out while laughing, he tossed his body to the side to try and find the bruise from the impact, he was unsuccessful, it just ended in more fits of laughter. 

They slipped in and out of different conversations as they were sprailedd out on her bed, distant at times and really close at others. In this moment it was one of those times where they were incredibly close. Their nose bumping at times from how close they were.

“When I moved here, I genuinely didn’t think I would see you,”  she expressed. He hummed as he kept his gaze on her lips, his bright red cheeks were not hiding the fact of how intoxicated he was. Her rambling words were a sign of hers. “Like it didn’t even cross my mind that you lived here because it had been so long but I’m so glad I ran into you,”

“Me too,” he let out.

He reached over towards her and took a hold of her chin as he leaned towards her kissing her delicately. It wasn’t urgent but so delicate that it was almost a confession of love in the process. 

He pulled away, keeping a small distance between their lips. A smile formed to her lips before she leaned towards him, kissing him again. She slowly rolled onto her back allowing him to climb on top of her. 

[nightlyrequiem]

I just got an idea, what if Valeria was at a club celebrating a deal or just treating her workers until the reader catches her eyes… but the reader also caught the eye of another one of her workers a guy who was kinda low in the chain of command or whatever. The reader wasn’t interested until the guys offered to buy her a drink which didn’t bother Valeria until the guys spiked her drink. The reader didn’t notice and was about to drink it until Valeria stopped her. You can decide what happens from there :p

P.S., Idk if this sounds as great as it does in my head. Love ur content tho 🥰😼

I wish I could go to a bar and have a pretty, evil older woman save me and buy me a drink...

Love this idea. I didn't know if you wanted smut so I didn't include any. If you want a part 2 with smut just let me know! I had fun writing this. It helped me get out of a little mental rut <3

Tags/Warnings: Attempted Drugging, WLW, Drinking

In Celebration

Every success no matter how small is worthy of celebration because it signifies progress. Valeria has just secured a small sector of Puerto Rico for herself. Just another expansion within her ever-growing empire. El Sin Nombre will be a name known across Latin America. Its personal boogeyman. This is an achievement worthy of drinks, drugs, and women. The nightclub Valeria chose is higher end. Higher budget, expensive booze, V.I.P corners, and Valeria's favourite part; a buffet of lovely women for her to take her pick from. Valeria and her lackeys walk through the crowded club towards their purchased booth. The music is loud, and the lights are low. Sweaty bodies writhe and bump up against each other as people forget their responsibilities and commitments, just for tonight.

Her workers laugh and jostle each other as they sit down. A scantily clad waitress scurries over and gets to work in taking orders for food and drinks. She intelligently pretends not to see a little baggie filled with fine white powder being passed between rough hands. Shots are brought to the table, and the night is officially at its start. Cards are brought out and Valeria joins in this time. Placing a bet of 36,126 pesos. She drinks and gambles, believing this to be the peak of the human experience. Valeria spares only a small glance, surveying the room for potential threats out of habit when she spots you. Her gaze gravitating to you like a wasp to sugar. She's transfixed by the way you move your hips and how short that little dress is. Valeria finds herself interested in the shadows between your legs.

A jittery man - one of her own - sidles up to you before she gets the chance. Valeria scoffs to herself at the sight. Where he gets the confidence to try his luck with someone so far out of his league escapes her, but maybe he's hoping you'll be drunk enough to gloss over his greasy appearance. She doesn't like that he approached first but she doubts you'll be into him. He's the personification of mange. he says something to you, leaning in and fanning his alcoholic breathe over your soft cheek. To her displeasure you nod and follow him through the crowd to the bar.

Occasionally Valeria glances over at the two of you. Sharp eyes quickly homing in on you. She doesn't trust him to not be a complete degenerate and she's also hoping that you simply lose interest. Leaving her room to slide in. For only a second you have your back turned. For only a second his hand is over your drink. Valeria scowls and stands, ignoring the confused looks from her men. Valeria pushes through the crowd towards you.

You raise your cup to your lips, but she quickly snatches it from you. Almost not hearing the indignant 'hey!' leaving your mouth. The man knows he's messed up. Bloodshot eyes widening before she shoves the cup in his hands.

"Drink it." She commands, glowering at him. You throw your arms up, upset at having your drink stolen.

"... Patrona-"

"Drink. It." 

Valeria can glimpse you frowning at her in the corner of her eye, but she keeps her gaze on this worthless sack of meat. He reluctantly brings the cup to his lips and takes a small sip. She scowls and he relents. Downing the spiked drink.

He turns and retreats back into the crowd. She shakes her head in disgust.

"What the hell?" You exclaim angrily.

Valeria's expression relaxes as she turns to look at you. Her eyes running over you quickly. She raises an arm and hovers it over your shoulders, turning you back to the bar. "He's no good, sweetheart." She shakes her head, head lowered to murmur into your ear. "I'll buy you a new drink."

You give her an agitated look. "Why did you do that?" You ask firmly. She gently ushers you closer to the bar.

"He put something in your drink. I'll get you a new one."

Valeria lets you order whatever you want under her tab. Which you do so with reluctance. Throwing her wary glances. Your eyes drifting over her arms. The tattoos. The scars.

You sip your drink, mood dampened. Valeria leans against the bar.

"What's your name, guapa?" Valeria asks.

You tell her with narrowed eyes. "And you?"

"Valeria. Why don't you come sit with me?" She offers. "I'm playing poker and could use a good luck charm."

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "No, thanks."

Valeria isn't perturbed by your rejection. She moves closer but keeps enough distance that you could still move away from her if you wanted to. "No? Come on," Valeria says. Lips curling into an easy grin.

"Why would I want to watch you and a bunch of men play poker?"

"You get to sit around in good company and enjoy free drinks." She replies. She can feel your resolve faltering.

"I don't know about good company..." You sniff. "You look like trouble."

Valeria inches closer.

"I'm an angel." She says mockingly. Pleased to see a smile break out on your face. 

"Angels are allowed tattoos?"

She feels confident enough to ghost her fingers down your bare arm. "This one is. Come sit with me."

You consider her words. Consider her. "Only for a little bit." You concede.

Valeria has you perched in her lap. Only a little bit turned into the better part of an hour. A few drinks completely dissolved any reservations about her. Your arm is slung over her shoulder, fingers stroking her skin.

"Fuck." Her opponent growls. Throwing his cards down at yet another loss. 

"Gambling isn't your calling, pendejo." She sneers at him. Valeria collects her earnings and gives your thigh a tap, turning to face you, nose almost touching yours. "I'm going to call it a night, want to come back to mine?" She murmurs quietly.

"You won't be calling it a night for a while." You promise coyly.

[cube-cumb3r]

BELOW: DOES ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS ANSWERS CORRELATE WITH OVERALL FORM RESPONSE BEHAVIOR???

Answer: maybe? idk

Here's the results for ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!

Firstly, rock is the most popular choice, for some reason. Wonder why?

Secondly, if you ended up in the time-loop section of the form you got asked "rock, paper, scissors" again, and were prompted to try and win against your previous response.

77% of responders won against themselves, 20% of people tied with themselves and 2.9% (actually only one person) lost. Responders generally won at the same rate regardless of what their initial pick was, (though an insignificantly higher %age people who picked "paper" at the start won, yet also the only person who lost against themselves also had also picked paper initially? Weird.)

Can we conclude anything from this? Probably not, other than the fact it seemed that the type of person who progressed far enough into the form to get this question, was also more likely the type of person to pay attention to what they were answering enough to win against themselves.

On an unrelated note, while writing this I was pondering whether there is a certain type of person that is more likely to pick rock, paper or scissors? And when I googled it, I got this extremely unhelpful result. Thanks World Rock Paper Scissors Association, why didn't I think of that before !

Back on topic. is there anything else we can wring out of this rock-paper-scissors question?

Well, it seems that maybe generally people overall are more likely to pick "rock", and least likely to pick "scissors", which is interesting given it's a "random" question with "meaningless" answers. It could maybe be explained by two things.

1, "Rock, paper, scissors" is one of the few questions where order of the response options isn't shuffled to show in a random order. So maybe more people just picked the first option.

2, Perhaps there is a certain type of person that is more likely to pick "rock" that is slightly over-represented in my sample, and a certain type of person that is more likely to pick "scissors" that is slightly under-represented in my sample.

3. it's a combination! Perhaps there's a certain type of person that is more likely to pick the first option out of a "random" question, and vice versa.

So what kind of person are these rock, paper and scissor warriors? Well, if we look at their self-rated personalities:

I've truncated the y-axis at 2.5 to make the differences more visible, but it also makes the differences look much more dramatic than they are, in reality the differences are pretty small.

I suppose the most notable differences are that Paperers perceive themselves to be more skeptical (misspelled in graph, don't worry about it) and more confident, while Rockers rate themselves as more silly and more intelligent, the latter I find funny because while Rockers perceive themselves to be more intelligent, they also on average performed the worst in the quiz questions LOL! (<- neither of these differences are statistically significant btw, but it does make me giggle!!!). Paperers also rate themselves as more serious and less intelligent than the other two groups do. Not sure what to make of that.

But self-rated "personality points" are pretty subjective and vague numbers, so is there any difference in actual HARD OBJECTIVE NUMBERS?

No, sorry one more thing. People who picked "rock" also had a higher " avg rock-edibility" score that I mentioned in my prior post, which is SOOOO CLOSE to being statistically significant, but alas it's not. I can sadly not conclude with confidence that on average people who pick "rock" in "rock-paper-scissors" also want to eat rocks, but I really wish I could...

But what can I conclude (maybe)?

People who answered "Rock" on average answered LESS questions than people who picked "Scissors" or "Paper" (on average 16 questions less), which is a statistically significant difference, while people who picked "Scissors" answered MORE questions (on average a whopping 28 questions more), which was also a statistically significant difference.

(t-test results for those who care below, I know it looks like the differences are "flipped" btw, it's just because of what happened to be defined as µ1 in the tests)

So maybe it's not an entirely unreasonable assumption to assume the type of person who clicks the first response in a seemingly meaningless question, is also the type of person to submit the form early and people who pick the last response are more likely to try and see the form through til the end (while people who pick the middle response are somewhere in the middle?)

Not the whole story apparently.

Scissorers were much more likely end up in a timeloop compared to Rockers and Paperers, so while they are diligent form-answerers they are clearly also much more reckless and not agreeable enough for the malevolent Google Form Cube to offer them the secret Password. I can also say that the craziest outliers in character count for free-form questions were from them, Scissorers are writing NOVELS in my google form?!

The mysterious and seemingly not very notewordy Paperers were the ones who on average were the most successful at finding the secret section. Perhaps a person who picks the middle option on a random question is the type to give their answers a bit more thought, and to google their form a bit more cautiously.

Now this of course, was only on a first run, it's not impossible that someone might end up in the good ending on their second, or third, (or fourth, or fifth,) try. (Also, unlike the section prior, these differences are not statistically significant and could just be due to randomness.

Oh but also, and this one is statistically significant, people who responded "paper" at the start on average rated the form worse than any other group. Perplexing.

Did we learn anything? I'm not entirely sure we did.

Does anyone want to do my new google form

[siolixz]

♔Of Love and Loyalty♔

+18

Part 3: the end.

<Part 2><Part 1>

Pairings: Oz "The Penguin" Cobb x Reader

Reader takes Victor's place in this story. She has already been through enough by now and Oz's ruthless ambition finally meets the satisfaction of power. Hope you guys like it- I spent most of my day writing this and I apologize for any grammar mistakes. I'll fix them when I wake up. Please, remember that MY Oz has been changed a bit from the show Oz- in order to make a "x reader story" I gotta humanize him, while also keeping him at least half true to the masterpiece Lauren created. I have enjoyed writing this story sooo much. Everyone is 18+ and consenting.

Words: 6.2k

Enjoy and give feedback If you want :)

Warnings: mentions of violence, vulgar language, age-gap relationship, smut ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡° )

You don’t remember how you got here. 

First you remember talking to Oz about something on the phone early in the morning after a delivery- then you remember going home to sleep and when you arrived- there was nothing. 

What the fuck happened? There was a guy- he came towards you. Then you looked at him- then he; he punched you? So that’s why you have a splitting headache. Everything felt like a dream- were you dreaming right now?

Are you sleeping? Why is everything so dark? 

You could hear voices, faint voices but they were there. Someone grabbed you by your arm and forced you upright. Now there was light everywhere and your eyes felt like they were on fire. Why is everything so fucking bright?

You blinked a few times and looked around the room; wow, how fancy. Where were you? The walls looked like they were carved and you only saw furniture like this when you looked at the TV. You saw a man there, a big guy; an enforcer, you thought, and in your dazed state you asked him “Where am I?” he looked at you and remained quiet. Great.

Your head was killing you. Jesus. Your hands and feet weren’t tied however- how odd.

You rapidly lifted your head when you heard the sharp sound of a pair of heels on the expensive floor, the door opened and- Oh, it’s her. 

“Look who’s awake.” Sofia softly smiled at you, she���s gonna kill you probably. Why does she have a plate of food?

“I brought you breakfast- you’ve been gone quite a while you see.” She walked across from you and placed the plate down on the table. 

“I bet you’re wondering what you are doing here.” she came over and sat next to you- crossing her legs and leaning back “You and I have a lot to talk about.”

She looked you up and down. You looked like the complete opposite of her, in your jeans and t-shirt, you were sure your face was smeared with blood too- where you got punched.

“Are you nervous?” she asked- her eyes were examining every inch of your face, trying to search for any signs of anxiety or sadness. You shook your head- “No.” you said. 

She said your full name and gave a long description of your family- what they did, what jobs they had, she mentioned your sister too, your poor sweet sister- how dare she speak their names. 

“When I saw you at Oz’s apartment or at the club, I didn’t get a good look at you. But I did see the way he looked at you.” a small smile danced on her lips “ like he would look away and you would be gone, like in a dream. How fascinating I thought. Some girls spend their whole lives wishing someone would look at them like that.” You listened to her and she came closer to you.

“You know, I really never noticed at the time- how young you are.” She once again looked you up and down, her voice became quieter

“Guess this is the same old tragic story, ‘orphaned street kid falls prey to some maniacs silver tongue’ . Yours won’t be any different, I can assure you. Maybe you believe it will- but it won’t.” She got up again and walked towards the table. She picked up a piece of toast and sat back down next to you.  

“W-why am I here?” you asked her, your throat was sore and that stupid headache was still there. 

“Why?” she looked surprised “Didn’t you figure it out by now? You’re our bargaining chip- you’re gonna help us. Greatly. Sal already has Oz, now all we need is to find a way to kill him.”  There was an indescribable emptiness in your stomach at her words

“Of course after I make sure he feels the same sort of sadness he inflicted on me-that’s where you come into play. ”

You looked down at your feet, trying to find words to pronounce. This is what this sort of life brings you, death. Only death and pain.

“What ma-makes you think he’s gonna su-suffer as much as you?” you muttered- more to yourself really. 

“The way he looks at you and sure- looks ain't enough, but the way he talked to me about you.” She exhaled loudly, like a schoolgirl talking about a crush, mocking you.

“Some people could only dream about that. You know, he talked about you at my brother’s funeral and the way he would compliment you before the deal at the club; but besides that-” her face got serious.

“-you’re the closest person to him. The only person who knows the in’s and out’s of the massive drug operation he built; his second in command, you have his ear and loyalty. You’re the last thing he has got left in this world, without you, he’s all alone.” she leaned back again.

“I almost feel sorry for you.”

You blinked, trying to make sense of her words- she continued, disgust laced in her words “You’re just a fucking kid.” 

There was a silence that followed that only made the gravity of her words more apparent.

“He put this on you. It seems to me- like you had a pretty good life- before all this. You studied well, you had a lot of friends- it seemed like your life couldn’t get better. Then the floods came and you turned into a street rat. Now you think him saving you was what you needed- but no. He’s a manipulator and a liar and he will stop at nothing to achieve his goals.” She took another deep breath and squinted her eyes at you in judgment.

“I mean, don’t you ever think what your parents would say? Seeing you with a man like that?”

“Don’t talk about my parents-” she was pressing your buttons and you knew that lashing out at her was at the cost of your own life right now.

“What would your mother say? Huh? I bet she wanted her little girl to find herself a good man, with a nice job, but no.. she found herself a drug lord.” Sofia snickered, half in disgust and half in pity. 

“You kn-know… Oz-“  you started and she cocked her head to the side

“He’s gonna kill Sal, just like-like he did his wife and son and th-then he’s coming straight for you.”  

“You have a lot of faith in him.”

“Yes I do.” Yes you did. If there was one thing you knew about him is that he was unstoppable, one way or another- he was going to get his way and he was going to win in the end. He had to. 

You lowered your tone and leaned closer to her “He’s always-always two steps ahead. He will come for you.” There was a twinge of something on her face, was it- was it fear? 

She got up and left afterwards. Thank god. You didn’t want to see her again.

Some time passed; your stomach was rumbling but you didn’t eat the food she prepared, you had time to think- think about what she said. 

What would your mom say? It almost brought tears to your eyes thinking about them. 

Late at night before you would go to sleep, since you were young she would always come in and kiss your forehead. That was your ritual. 

You smiled before it was quickly wiped from your face when you remembered what sort of life you had now. What would she think?

“My little girl” she would say “so brave” she’d probably be disappointed, so disappointed. Her and your dad too. They despised people like Oz, people shouldn’t murder and cheat their way to the top. He was the complete opposite of the man they were hoping you'd be with. 

They loved Robert, always inviting him at home to eat together, he was a good boy, he listened and he studied well, it’s better he left Gotham.

They would probably be frightened by Oswald, afraid to even look at him. This man couldn’t look acceptable to the parents of a young girl like you in a million years, from the big scar on his face to his gold teeth and manner of talking. 

They would rather hope for him to be your sugar daddy than you loving- loving him?

You knew at this point there was no going back, you loved him- you did. However wrong this was. You loved all of him and you were disgusting, both of you. 

You blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. 

Was he gonna be sad you were nowhere to be seen or heard? Was he turning the place upside down when he saw you were gone? Was he for a split moment thinking you tried to leave, and this time, you were successful? Was he thinking all those nights and days spent by his side, next to him- over him and under him were all a facade when you stopped responding to his texts?

Someone called out your name.

 “I’m doctor Julian Rush... I am a psychiatrist” He looked at Sofia who was also next to him then back at you “I’m here to help you.”

Dr. Julian Rush weirded you out, severely. He put you down on a sofa and started asking you things, about your family, about how you felt- he had this ginormous light that would flash red that only worsened your state of defiance. It induced this sort of feeling in you- seeing it. 

It toyed with your emotions and feelings; it made you remember. You remembered everything.  

You told them everything.

From your earliest memories in Gotham, to your latest. Riding your bike down the street as a kid, running with your friends to your favorite diner before it closed, family nights, the happiness you felt when walking in your home, even if your parents or sister sometimes annoyed you- you were so rich in their love and warmth- so happy.

 You told them how you saw your apartment get swallowed up by the waves- how you tried to call; warn them, but to no avail.

At this point you were definitely crying your eyes out- holding yourself and trying to find some comfort.

Living in a FEMA camp was a nightmare, a nightmare that was never ending and it seemed to only become more like reality every damn day. You scraped by, you had to eat and live not just survive. So you joined some of the local boys there when they said they were going to find something to sell.

You never thought you would be stealing; you knew it was wrong and evil, but you did what you had to do. Life is cruel. 

You tried to remember everything. Not wanting to lose even a bit of detail. 

You had to be quick. Until he comes back. The first look at the Maserati waiting out there was like a piece of pie ready to be eaten- one of the boys went “wow” when he saw it and you were next to it like some hyenas soon enough.

At the first shot, you saw everyone scream and pick themselves up to run. You acted too slow that night, too busy with doing a good job to notice you were the one closest to him. 

The first time you looked at Oswald, you thought he was the scariest man you’ve ever seen in your whole life- especially because it was night time and because he just tried to fucking kill you. 

You told them how he made you do all those things. How lonely he was- how he touched you and looked at you sometimes. You told them you found kinship in one another, how you weren’t that lonely anymore and how utterly frightened he made you feel. Every.Damn.Day.

How you cried yourself to sleep all those nights, how you wanted to be better- be something more and this was the only way. This or death.

You told them about Robert too- how you hoped he had a better life, find someone who will love him and treasure him. How he tried to make you go with him and you tried to. By God you did, until he came back that night at the club. How he pushed a gun in your face and-and-

You blinked yourself out of it slowly, you knew you wanted out. This sick piece of shit was toying with you. With your emotions.

She brought you back in, reminded you about how he looked that night- what he said about you “you can remember, just tell us” the Doctor said.

His smell and all of him. A sick man, he was sick.

He wanted you all to himself and would kill you if that’s what it takes. 

You remembered your mother’s words to you at every family gathering or dinner “She’ll find a good man, one who takes care of her. I know it. Maybe a doctor, let’s hope.” You heard everyone laugh; so clearly- like they were there with you.

It seemed like they were taunting you now.  They expected so much more from you. 

You felt better whenever he was around you, how he would talk and walk to his jokes and smile. He was everything to you now. Late at night you would talk about all the things you wanted to do or have. You told him about your biggest dream in the whole world:

“A pen-penthouse” you whispered next to him as you were looking down at your fingers from your place on the couch. Maybe he thought it was stupid, how could someone like you ever achieve that?

“Yeah?” he turned to you “That what you want?” he asked, a small smile was gracing his lips.

“Yes. No one is above you or beside you; the c-city skyline.” If you closed your eyes, you could picture it—clear as day.

“With b-big windows so I can look outside and great big rooms with high ceilings- like in the movies.”

Julian told you Oz took all of that from you. Your old life- if he cared, if he truly cared he would’ve let you go that night. The bastard.

Sofia told you he manipulated you, he molded you into the woman he wanted you to be, you’re just a kid. You should have no part in this. 

It must’ve been hours since you haven’t eaten or drank anything.

You wanted to go back to Crown Point, have him tell you it’s all a bad dream “Let’s cook something, I’m starving-” he’d say and you two would chat until late at night. You slept the best with him in bed with you, even if he snored and it was hard to get him to turn over on the other side. You missed that. 

They grabbed you again- taped your mouth shut and stabbed you with something tiny, like a needle; it felt like a pinch. You proceeded to drive into the city and they shoved you through the back door- and then you saw him.

Tied down to a chair with tape, a towel shoved in his mouth, he started yelling and struggling when he saw you- making a gesture towards Sofia- like he wanted to strangle her.

This felt like a movie, like something you weren’t experiencing yourself- more like something you were watching from afar. Was this it?

The last moments of your life; they got you two and now everything has gone to shit again. 

Well you couldn’t say you weren’t close to getting what you wanted. 

You looked at him as they sat you down on a chair, trying to remember everything you could about him. You felt like crying but no tears came out.

“So, now that everyone is gathered here-” Sofia started “-I wanted to bring some stuff to the surface. Shine some light regarding some things.” She walked around you and back towards Oz.

He looked at you then back at her; confused. 

“Oz, while you were getting beaten blown up- me and your ‘Bonnie’ had a talk. It was a real eye opener, I would say.” she glanced back at you

“Do you wanna tell us why you decided to spare her life that night? Let’s have your side of the story.” Sofia took the towel out of his mouth-

“What the fuck is this shit? You’re a sicko- ya know that? Jesus Christ” He yelled while looking at you and her.

“-Oz, you wanna tell us, huh?-”

“Fuck you!” 

“Alright. Well I already know everything. Your little girl here sang like a bird-”

“-Fuck did you do to her?”

“Nothing. We just had a conversation, girl to girl.” she gave him a smile “She told me everything.” 

Oz looked at you, confusion clearly written on his face. You couldn’t even shake your head no- something was wrong. You could barely lift it. Did they give you something?

“You think she’s in love with you-” Sofia cocked her head to the side “-I’m here to tell you, she’s not. This whole thing that you two have- fear, fear ties her to you. It was all a lie. All of it.”

Oz looked at you again. Fuck you could barely lift your head, it looked like you were staring at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with him, your vision became blurry too.

You tried to blink away the feeling of falling asleep, what was happening?

Oswald called out your name and you heard him yelling at you that he was going to get you out of here. 

“You’ve ruined her life. Because you’re selfish and greedy and lonely. That night at the club- she wanted to leave- to escape, and you brought her back. You held a gun to her face and told her she’s not going anywhere-”

“Fuck you-”

“You know what Oswald? I think she would like an apology. Right here and now. An apology for the life she could’ve had.” 

You don’t know how but you managed to lift your head and look him in the eyes. You tried to move your legs- tried to wake the fuck up. 

“She wanted this.” He said. 

Julian grabbed your hand and placed it on the table. “From which hand was the finger that you cut? The left or the right- It was the left.” Sofia said.

It must’ve been the pain that woke you up halfway from the episode you must’ve been having because your eyes fully opened when you realized that they were cutting your finger. Shit, shit, shi-

You heard Oz call out your name and throw profanities towards Sofia. “All you gotta do is apologize, Oswald.-”

“-She knew what she was getting herself into I-”

“-Say you’re sorry-”

“-I told you I ain't got-”

“-Just say you’re fucking sorry!” 

The pain almost made your ears ring and you screamed into the tape that was on your mouth, trying your best to get away from the pain you were feeling. 

“This is fucking insane!” 

The pain stopped and you grabbed your hand, trying to get some relief. 

“You would’ve let me cut it.” Sofia’s voice was filled with disgust “Rather than admit you made her life worse, you would’ve let me cut it…you’re fucking despicable.”

You saw Julian grabbing something from his suitcase and bringing it closer to your arm. It looked like- like a needle. 

“I never realized it till now but this is almost like a high for you, isn’t it?” Sofia's voice was almost a whisper “Having someone so utterly dependent on you, her sole reason for existing is because you let her. You have her whole life in your hands… you’re a fucking bastard. What were you thinking huh? One day you were gonna make her Mrs Cobb and you two would live happily ever after?” 

Julian managed to get the needle in your skin and you felt a warmth spread across your whole body. You looked at Oz and saw how hard he was struggling against his restraints and the look of fear on Sophia's face when he actually freed himself.

What was she thinking- binding a 250 pound man with duct tape on a chair as old as this restaurant? You heard the commotion and you tried to stand up but black dots started to appear in your vision-

“She fell and hit her head- “ you felt like you were dreaming but you could hear and feel certain things. Like when he put you in the back of the car or when he placed you on the hospital bed. Maybe you died. 

“She’s gonna be alright, yeah?” 

“We’ll do anything we can, sir.” 

You thought you died and instead of the devils in hell torturing you for all the injustice you have done- there was nothing. Nothing. Just the sound of something beeping and the sound of voices sometimes, you could also smell- was this a hospital? 

There was also yelling and a voice. You knew that voice. 

“C’mon doll, open those big eyes for me. Please.” a hand brushing your hair back and one touching your hand.

“I did it. I’m the fucking king- all this shit ain’t gonna mean anything if you don’t wake up.” you heard him whisper.

“Please open your eyes, sweetheart. Please” 

When you finally woke up, it must’ve been late in the afternoon. The sound of rain softly touching the window and the beeping of the monitor was the only sound in the sterile room.

You swallowed, trying to wet your throat.

Your eyes felt like they were opened for the first time or like when you want to take a short nap in the evening and you wake up at 12am, they felt like they were sewed shut and only now you could open them.

You looked around the room and saw that your hand was being held- There he is, you thought to yourself. 

He was sitting on a chair, his head uncomfortably placed on his shoulder- ouch- that's gonna hurt later. You raised your right hand; placing it on your stomach and squeezed his with your left.

Once and then twice. 

“O-oz, Oz.” your voice was hoarse like you yelled all night long, you squeezed his hand again- harder this time. 

He finally lifted his head and looked at you. His eyes were so red and bloodshot; he must’ve been crying. 

Oswald looked shocked and then relief flooded his face- his eyes lit up- “Hey-” he said, then kissed your forehead.

“-you’re finally awake.” He hugged you and you placed your arms around his neck, slowly- but you did. 

“I did it.” his voice was muffled by the pillow and your neck “I showed all those sons of bitches.” You rubbed his back- not knowing what exactly he meant by that.

“I thought you weren’t gonna wake up.” he lifted his head and looked at you “They gave you something, pento- something. I thought-” He was getting choked up. This big strong bull of a man.

“Ye-yeah well, I was halfway to hell when I remembered I forg-forgot you here so…” you whispered.

He started laughing at that- touching your foreheads together; gold teeth gleaming.

After you left the hospital you told him you just wanted to sit and talk. So he drove you to a park, it was very secluded- you two sat on a bench overlooking the river.

 He explained to you everything he had done, from throwing Sofia in Arkham to getting all the crime bosses murdered by their second in command and now having something to hold over a congressman- Oswald would be running in the upper circles as one of them, not a lieutenant or a cripple- one of them.

 “What a smart man” you said while hugging the jacket you had on closer to you. Winter was already here. The city lights softly illuminating his face, he had the expression of a man who won it all- he was on top of the world. 

“Fuck- ya' know, I couldn’t have done it without you.” He looked at you softly and with admiration

“You are really something special kid.” he smirked at you, leaning back a little- trying to take all of you in. 

“Oz, you’re like fam-family to me.” You told him and saw as his expression shifted- something laid beneath his eyes- you couldn’t place a finger on what.

“You see - “ he grabbed your body and pulled you closer to him, his face mere inches from yours “You showed me, doll- you can be my greatest strength. But the thing about family is… they make you fight harder than you ever thought you could. They show you what you’re really capable of- even when you’re not seeing it.” he grabbed the side of your neck, gently brushing his thumb over your face. 

He was hesitant, a man so full of words and phrases was left without any in this moment. 

“It weakens you too and I think- I think all of this would not mean as much if you weren’t by my side.” He kissed you. 

You never in a million years thought you were ever gonna drive a Maserati- now you were in a Rolls Royce.

 A gorgeous purple color, something that once only showed his flamboyance now signals his power and influence over everything that moves in the underworld of Gotham, he was “the king” and you couldn’t be more proud of him and you. When the car rolled down the street people stopped and stared at it, talking among themselves and taking pictures. 

He told you that night, after a very expensive dinner- he had a surprise for you “Somethin’ real special” he got. 

You entered a very fancy apartment complex, the opulence of the place immediately striking you as the elevator whisked you up.

In the mirrored walls of the lift, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, catching a glimpse of the two of you.

 “You two look like a match”, you remembered Roxy’s words from the club. You were both dressed in black—the most expensive dress you owned, a gift from him- and Oz, who looked as if he had stepped out of a Fred Astaire movie. So poised, so polished. People with your kind of money didn't even open their own car doors.

You’d asked him where you were going, and he only replied, "It's a surprise," with that familiar glinted smile of his.

Oz was a man who relished in the influence his newly acquired power gave him. He’d been rapidly reconstructing Crown Point, making a name for himself not just among Gotham's underground elite but also rubbing shoulders with the high society.

It wasn’t a stretch to imagine that one day he’d run for mayor- and you’d be right by his side.

The elevator doors slid open, and you stepped out into the apartment, breath catching in your throat.

It was... breathtaking.

The entire space was so grand, it felt almost unreal, as though the world had bent its will to cater to him. To you. You almost couldn’t take it all in at once.

The high ceilings stretched above you, the living room expansive and bathed in the soft glow of a fireplace, the crackling warmth spreading throughout the room. But it was the view that stole your breath. The floor-to-ceiling windows revealed all of Gotham, its lights twinkling below like a blanket of stars.

You moved toward the window, your feet almost moving on their own as you absorbed the beauty. The city spread out endlessly, like a maze of lights and possibilities, and here you were—at the top of it all.

The heat from the fireplace surrounded you, making the space feel so warm, so alive, and for a moment, everything outside of this apartment, faded away. This was your world now. You could hardly believe it, after everything that had happened.

After everything he’d done to get here.

Oz stood behind you, his presence so steady and unwavering. You could feel his eyes on your back, his gaze warm, yet calculating, as if he was still analyzing the moment.

"Ya' like it?" His voice was soft but full of that familiar edge- he wasn’t just asking about the apartment.

You could tell there was something deeper in his question, an unspoken desire to know if you truly liked the life he had built for you, for the two of you.

You turned to face him, the firelight catching his features, casting soft shadows across his face. His eyes were dark, intense, as though he was trying to read your every emotion.

You met his gaze, the warmth of the room matching the heat you felt in your chest.

This is it, you thought. The beginning of everything, everything you’d ever wanted. And somehow, it felt like the end of something else.

You took a step closer to him, and for a moment, you simply stood there, breathing in the air between you. You could feel the tension in the air, thick and heady. 

“Of course” you proudly announced. You loved it- every inch of it.

Oz stepped forward, closing the distance with one smooth movement. His hand reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, the simple touch sending a shiver down your spine.

His voice was low, only for you to hear, “I made it happen for you... for us. All of it. Tell me, doll... you proud of me?” He came closer to you, grabbing your face. 

“Of course,” you said. Excitement gripped you and you knew him asking that sort of question meant he was in need of some love and appreciation. 

“You know-” you got out of his grip.

“-I actually want to see the master bedroom- maybe the sheets are purple too.” You laughed- the adrenaline you felt when his face changed to one of excitement as well turned you on and you left your shoes near the staircase that went upstairs- to the second floor of the massive penthouse. 

The icy cold feel of the floor didn’t matter to you as you almost sprinted to one of the doors upstairs - you heard him climb the steps and your heart started pumping. 

Even after all this time of making love to Oz, the electric rush that shot up your spine every time you saw that wild spark in his eyes- made you crazy.  You quickly took your panties off and got on the gorgeous bed. The bedding was so comfortable- like a cloud.

The door opened and you saw him. 

“You got some nerve, runnin’ away like that.” he said as he came close to the left side of the bed and grabbed the upper part of the dress, almost testing how easy it was to pull it off, you simply giggled at him. 

How were you ever afraid of this man? 

You rubbed your hand on his hard on and he gave you a shaky breath- still crazy about you. 

"Wouldn't be the first time you tried to disappear." He paused, eyeing you intently, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips "Turn around."

He unzipped your dress and undressed you- gasping when he saw you weren’t wearing anything underneath. You got on your knees and helped get him undressed too- before he would always leave his clothes on, always preferring to have only you naked when you were with him. Things change.

He climbed on top of you and you welcomed him between your legs. This man- all of him, you loved him so much. He gave you the whole world. You both groaned when he entered you and set a very gentle pace while kissing your neck. You put your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. 

“Tell me you’re proud of me.” He whispered in your ear

“I’m so proud of you- “ you gasped as he pressed himself even harder inside you “You’ve done so much for us-” he did it again, harder this time “And I love you” he started fucking you even harder, the feel of his greater thighs touching the underside of yours and the sound coming from your pussy were louder than your soft moans and his groans of pleasure. You squeezed his body with your legs.

“There’s-there’s-” the feeling of having him in you, while he pressed himself deeper and deeper, his body over yours as he was holding himself up on his forearms next to you- you’ll never get tired of it “There’s nothing-nothing standing in your way.” 

He kissed you, putting his tongue in your mouth “You’re so beautiful, doll” He kissed all over your face as he said that and squeezed your breasts as he pounded into you. “So fucking beautiful” his eyebrows were furrowed and eyes closed, deep in thought about how you felt around him. 

“Fuck- com’ here” he pulled himself out and got on his back, slowly touching the side of your body as you lowered down on his penis with your lips. 

Oz wasn’t the sort of guy that enjoyed small kisses near his manhood and soft touches, if he wanted you to suck him- he wanted you to get to business. 

He grabbed hold of your hair- not for dragging you up and down him but to help you. You climbed on his leg- to pleasure yourself while you’re at it, no? 

Your lips enclosed around his head and as you bobbed your head up and down him you tried to breathe through your nose and help yourself with your hands. One cradling his balls and one on his penis, up and down. 

His moans were like music to your ears as you pleasured him, whenever you would stop at his head and lick the underside of it, he would press himself even higher in your mouth.

“I love you, doll. I love you-” he would chant as you took him. 

You rubbed yourself on his thigh as you sucked him, your legs were almost shaking.

“You take me so good- you’re such a good girl- my good girl.” This man and his words. 

When you would get off of him to breathe, he would push your head down to lick his balls and then make you get up to suck him again. His grip on your hair was becoming even tighter, bringing you down on him until you almost choked and then back up again.

 He would thrust up into your mouth as he got closer to his peak, chanting your name and how much he wanted to fuck you.

“I wanna fuck you so bad-” He pulled you on top of him and you gave him a giggle as you sat on top of his cock- only exciting him more.

“You wanna ride daddy baby?” it was a new nickname he enjoyed to give himself, you don’t know what changed in him, maybe the way people in society looked at you two, Oswald Cobb and his much younger woman. You nodded excitedly and grabbed his length from down below.

Fucking such a powerful man- he was the king, you should be proud of yourself.

He ran the Gotham underworld with an iron fist, everyone was afraid and respected him while also loving him too- he gave them jobs, he gave them a place to sleep- he took care of people. 

“Oh, baby..” he pulled you out of your daydream as he grabbed your waist and dragged you up and down him “I wanna get you pregnant doll” 

Your stomach twisted when you heard that-in a good way. You felt butterflies in your stomach and your pussy only got wetter. His eyebrows were furrowed and his groans were becoming even louder- you loved how loud he would get when he got close to cumming.

 He grabbed your breast in his hand while the other held your waist- fingers gripping into the skin there and you grabbed his chest to steady yourself as you rocked yourself on him. 

His fingers readjusted themselves on your body, gripping even harder this time- he would push himself into and his movements became erratic when near his climax. You smiled at Oz as you saw him gasp and hold you still. 

As he held you in his big arms that night, you had a clear view of the city from the bedroom window- you couldn’t believe you were here.

After everything you had to go through- finally, maybe your parents wouldn’t be disgusted with you. 

You had everything you ever needed here, with him, he was gonna keep you safe from now on.

 Maybe your mom, dad and little sister were happy- their girl found herself a man who fought tooth and nail to get where he was now; his ambition never ending and his resilience like iron, he loved you, he was going to give you children and give you a life you only ever imagined in your wildest dreams. 

Was he a bad man? Mayhaps, for some. His profession required him to be- but he was also sweet and kind and good. People weren’t black and white. 

Your eyes were slowly closing with the soft snores of your soon to be husband lulling you to sleep.

Gotham winked at you from down below- reminding you it took you right where she wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note: AHHHHH its been so much fun writing this- thank u for reading and I hope it was good. Thank you to @fat-bottom-demons because I don't think I would've been this quick in writing this big ass chapter without her nice words.

The Finale made me feel like I got punched in the throat lol. I hated Oz, like I didn't even look at the scene in order to reproduce it here in this chapter- something I usually do and poor Sofia, hope she wrecks his shit in the movie.

I wanted to keep Oz's nature of a manipulative and horrible man in this story as well- it's just that he CAN love and he can make himself vurnelable enough to love someone like he loves the reader- which he is also kinda obsessed with.

Maybe I will revisit this story- once we see what he's up to in the movie ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

[httpskuzuu]

Fault

i wrote this while watching apocalipsisminecraft :D

Anyway, I'm not very good at writing dialogues, so I hope it's okay

Yandere!Dazai x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

summary: you deal with the silent treatment after an argument.

tw: angst¿, toxic relationship, manipulation

The silence is simply punishing, it always was. Your body was intact, balled up on your bed, but your mind wasn't as lucky. The silent treatment was a problem, one that hurt more than you'd like to admit, but your still-wet cheeks gave you away.

It hurt you that Dazai ignored you. You had tried to distract yourself in a thousand ways these days: you went out with your friends (the few you had left), spent the days away from home, concentrated on your hobbies. Nothing seemed to work, it's as if Dazai had planted a seed in your psyche that keeps growing and growing, every day his silence was getting worse.

You can't win an argument because this is what happens, talking or complaining about Osamu's toxic behavior would only ensure you that wordless jail. You had every right to complain! Because of him you lost many friends, he distanced you from them in a way that made you only realize it when it was too late, after you had already cut the total bond with them and they didn't want to see you again.

You don't blame them either, if a friend had a toxic boyfriend and ignored you for him all day, not letting help them, you would be angry too. They have been very patient because they know the details of your life with Dazai well, but everyone has limits.

Now you are alone, even Dazai doesn't seem to love you.

You try to hold back your tears at that thought, but it is impossible, you can only cover your mouth with your hand to hide your sobs. That's one of the things you had tried to avoid, if Dazai really loved you he wouldn't do this to you.

He knows of your suffering and yet he continues to treat you as if you were a ghost, you can't help but doubt his feelings for you. You think that maybe you are just a sadistic desire of his, that he only wants to pretend to love you and then leave you abandoned like a toy. Yes, you are just that, his toy.

There's not much to complain about either, you're aware of your situation and yet here you are, by his side. It's not that you wouldn't have tried to leave him, you did once, but he came back to beg your forgiveness and you simply couldn't refuse. You become weak with just one look from him.

And that cycle was always repeating itself. Whenever there was a fight big enough to overshadow your love for Osamu, he was the one who apologized. You wished it was like that this time too, but it's not.

Know what, fuck it, who needs friends anyway? You need Dazai, it hurts not being together with him. It eats you up inside with anger and shame for letting yourself fall for his manipulation, but what else are you going to do? You're not going to keep crying in bed until you fall asleep.

You head towards the living room where you know for sure that Dazai is, watching TV. He doesn't even turn to look at you even though you are sure he heard your footsteps.

“Osamu.” Saying his name is a mixture of pain and love that infiltrates your brain. Sometimes you wish you had never met him, but you think better of it when you remember that he is the only one who loves you. Who else could love you with your attitude?

He still does not respond and a look of sadness invades you, you try to remove it, but it comes back each time. Finally you give up, Dazai already knows how weak and useless you are and knows well your character, so you allow yourself to cry.

You don't hesitate to lie on his body and hug him while you try to form a sentence, any sentence, but only incoherent sobs come out.

You don't see Osamu's reaction, you just wish he was as affected as you are. He wraps his arms around you and kisses the crown of your head lovingly. You missed him so much, you don't even know how you managed to survive these days without his love and touch. “What is it, Belladonna?”

You press your face against his chest as shame clutches tightly at your throat. He mocks you even your current state and that is like a stab in the heart, you feel the pain in every detail.

“You hate me, you hate me.” Stifled meaningless sobs come out of your mouth, but still Osamu manages to hear them.

“And why would you say such a stupid thing?”

“You were ignoring me! If you really loved me you wouldn't do that.”

“So now I'm the bad guy.” His tone of voice changes to a more distant one and his hug loses strength. In response you can only hug him tighter, afraid that, if you loosen his arms a little, he will leave you alone again. “You didn't try to talk to me either.”

You raise your gaze, an indignant one, which is accompanied by furrowed eyebrows. You want to look annoyed, but you just look pathetic.

“That's because you always do the same thing! We fight and you stop talking to me!” Pain trickles through your words, but Dazai doesn't seem to care enough to comfort you. “What am I going to humiliate myself for when I know you're going to ignore me?”

"Oh, poor little Belladonna, always the victim of the story." His condescending voice makes you feel like an idiot, you come to think that you really are. "Didn't you ever think I just needed space? Come on, you're so clingy and I was just trying to protect you from getting hurt.”

Seeing your puzzled expression, he can only laugh.

“Well of course you haven't thought about it. That cute little head of yours is good for nothing but victimization.”

“I- I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt this way...” Your voice trembles and his words linger in your mind. Maybe it's all your fault after all, you've never tried to put yourself in the opposite shoes and that makes you feel like the biggest useless.

The award for the worst partner in the world should be given to you, you think.

Dazai has no reaction at first, looking at you with those cold eyes, but they soften after a few seconds. He can't resist you after all.

Osamu's warm arms squeeze you again, you almost cry with joy thanks to how nice it feels to be held like that.

"It's okay, my sweet." Osamu ends up whispering near your ear, which sends a pleasurable shiver throughout your body. “Let me show you how much I love you now.”

and if I make a second part nsfw? 👀

[passionateseadruid]

That time Lucifer turned his best friend into a duck

Cw:slight Yandere elements

Lucifer sat on his thrown with a big yellow duck on his lap.

Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

—+—

"Lucifer you need to get out of your workshop!" You tried to open the door to his workshop. He'd been in there for 4 days straight and everyone was starting to get worried! (It was more like just you and Charlie (and Vaggie because Vaggie cares about whatever Charlie cares about) but still, he had people who were worried sick about him)

"No! I'm fine! I just need to put the finishing touches on my tropical vacation duck  and I'll be right out!"

"You have said that every hour I came by! First it was cowboy duck, then it was bunny duck, then it was maid dress duck, and last time it was steampunk duck! What will it be next time? Maybe a Vaporeon duck or a witch duck?" You huff.

"OOOOH! Wait let me write that down!" He said excitedly

"LUCIFER!!" You groaned and struggled with the golden doorhandle.

"Come on, apple-tart! Just one more duck!" Lucifer begged.

You finally decided to try lock-picking the lock. "Sorry Duckie, but this is for your own good!"

"Wait! No! Please! I'll do anything! Just let me make one more duck!"

You finally heard the lock click and the door handle finally turned. You opened the door as Lucifer screamed and a gold light came at you faster than you could react. When your vision came back you were standing only a foot off the ground, the world towered before you.

Lucifer... WHY AM I SHORTER THAN YOU!

You said in your mind but all that came out was "Quack! Quack Quack!"

"Well um... is that really important? The important thing is that I'm not the shortest person in the room for once!"

Ugh... of course you understand duck.

"Wait! How'd you know you're a duck now?"

It's kinda obvious. I mean, what other animal quacks?

"oh… well shit.”

Lucifer! I don't want to be a duck!

"But you're so cute as a duck." He stuck his bottom lip out and pouted.

Don't you dare do that! You know I can't say no to you when you look so sad.

"I'm just saying… a real best friend would do whatever it takes to make me happy…"

That's incredible manipulative and hypocritical! As my best friend you should respect my wish to not be a duck!

"But…" He tried to think of some way to persuade you. "If… if you were a duck, I’d pamper you… and then we’d both have our needs taken care of!"

You promise that if I let you pamper me in duck form you’ll take care of yourself? You asked skeptically.

"I promise." He nodded, pride dripped in his voice.

…fine! I will stay a duck… BUT JUST FOR TODAY!! You’re turning me back tomorrow!

Lucifer squealed in delight and scooped you up to hold you in his arms. It sucks being shorter than Lucifer.

—+—

At first he was just cuddling you and brushing out your feathers.

Lucifer... how is this helping either of us?

"It's making you look pretty, and in turn that bolsters my reputation." He said proudly.

WHAT REPUTATION? YOU'RE A HERMIT! YOU NEVER LEAVE THE PALACE UNLESS CHARLIE INVITES YOU OVER!

"Shh... apple pie, just let me have this. It feels good doesn't it?"

...

"Apple pie?"

I plead the fifth.

—+—

Next it was feeding you.

"Here!" He feed you grape by individual grape.

Lucifer, you don't need to feed me by hand. I may not have opposable thumbs anymore but that doesn't mean that I'm a helpless baby.

"I know, but I'm pampering you! You promised that I could pamper you." He booped your beak.

I suppose I did...

"Good, now shut up." He pushed one more grape into your mouth

You are eating yourself right?

"Of course! Two for you... and one for me." He popped a grape in his mouth and scritched under your chin.

ahhhh... You quacked purred in delight.

You looked up to see Lucifer had the most smug look on his face. "See? I knew you enjoyed being my pet~"

The double entendre was not lost on you. You were so glad that you were a duck right now so Lucifer couldn't see how absolutely flustered you were.

You stepped on a grape, spraying it's juices all over you. What a shame. Guess we have to put this little conversation on hold while you bathe me.

He smirked like he just won the argument. "You're not exactly helping your case." He teased.

Just get the bubbles going...

—+—

Then it was bathing you.

He starts to take off his vest and unbutton his shirt.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

"What does it look like I'm doing? I don't want to get my clothes wet." He rolled his eyes.

B-but... why do you need to be shirtless?! Don't you have a tank top or a robe or something to put on?!

His smirk became devious. "Do I make you... nervous?"

Please don't be weird while I'm in a duck body

"Good point." He picked you up and dropped you over the tub. "Now let's get that purple out of your beautiful feathers, shall we?"

Mhm! You smiled and leaned into his hands. His charcoal hands were softer than expected. His fingers were tender as they worked the shampoo through your soft, delicate, yellow feathers. Maybe being a duck wasn't so bad. Maybe being his pet wasn't so bad.

—+—

So that's basically how you got here. Wrapped in a towel, in Lucifers lap (while he sat above the residents of hell on his throne), as he pet you again.

Duckie... 'm tired...

"You're tired apple pie?" He smiled softly at you.

mhm...

"wanna go to bed?" He offered and walked toward his room

Want you to hold me too... you need your sleep...

He laughed. "I know, apple pie. I know."

You promise you'll stay with me?

"I promise." He laid down with you on his chest.

—+—

The next morning he woke up before you did...

And he saw you back in your normal form... but instead of the clothes you were in when you were turned...

you were in nothing more than a feather silk robe...

"Oh golly..." His face turned into a beautiful gold hue.

[d0g-water]

Haiii, I recently discovered your account and absolutely adore your writing! You write alex so well! I was wondering if I could put in a request for oral sex{fem receiving} during a stream?

Maybe alex and reader are doing a stream together with rubius in voice chat, alex "drops his phone", under the desk . Letting reader play on his fortnite account and talk to rubius while hes "getting his phone". Meanwhile hes going to town on readers pussy making it hard for her to focus on stream and later after stream getting a voice text from rubi that he heard EVERYTHING alex was doing🫣

If this is too much you don't have to write it and ill completely understand!!

THANK YOU MY LOVE!! your wish is my command baby <33

today, it was a stream on quackity fortnite with you and rubius!

since he doesn't usually do face cam for the channel, you didn't think much when he invited you, even when he had some sort of strange grin on his face...

rubius wanted to join, to meet you for the first time! since alex had just announced that he had a lovely girlfriend but wouldn't reveal her face until enough time has passed. for now, it was just your voice his chat had to know.

you were wearing one of your boyfriend's shirts with some shorts and fluffy socks, and you were sitting on his gamer chair as alexis decided on a barstool.

"you can play first, amor." alex tells you, putting his headphones over your ears. he left you with the responsibility to entertain his audience with rubius.

you couldn't speak spanish completely well, and the nervousness you felt when you were alone with rubius didn't help... but it was okay, because he was there.

you select his skin to try and get a good first impression, but it hardly seemed to work... at least that's what you thought. ruben was a much bigger person, he was known by the whole world.

so when he begins the match with asking you some silly questions about your relationship with quackity, it was only tightening the knot in your stomach more.

alexis was joking around with him, telling him that just because he's jealous doesn't mean he should take it out on his girlfriend. it was all sweet, really.

there were some flirtatious jokes the two threw at each other, making you the third wheel... but you didn't mind. after all, they were close. they met before you started dating alexis, you couldn't complain!

as the match continued for longer, with only thirty players still standing, the pressure was growing and you needed to focus.

you couldn't afford to be distracted, so when alexis 'dropped' his phone underneath his desk, it scared you.

"did i scare you, amor? sorry... i'll just get it." he says.

...annoying.

you roll the chair to make space for him to get underneath the table, your attention locked with the game and rubius....

but you feel a familiar texture against your legs, and large hands underneath your shirt to grab the waistband of your shorts.

you know this is alexis, but before you could say something, you look down and notice how drawn his eyes were with your thick thighs and visible fat pussy through those shorts.

without hesitation, he strips them and not letting you react. the amount of players on the game was decreasing, and rubius was constantly calling your name to help eliminate them.

his hands pull your knees forward, as he leans in to press his tongue against your inner corners. as much as you wanted to, you couldn't let any noises out.. you had to let him do this.

you lay back as much as you could, enough for his tongue to enter between your lips. he licks at your clit first, shaking you up before he dives in even more.

he sucks against the bud, tasting how salty but sweet you are. his eyes are closed, and he hums in amusement. he enjoys how good you are, wether it was doing absolutely anything or just your body serving him the best fluids his taste buds will ever have.

meanwhile, up there, you were hardly talking and letting your hard breaths speak into the microphone for you. rubius was shouting at you through the screen, demanding you to get back on track as more and more players were dying.

"i-i'm trying, rubius! it's just that-- it's a little cold..." you lie, trying to cover up the oral your boyfriend is giving you down there.

alex felt reckless today, he made sure everyone knew you were lying. his lips took yours entirely, a loud smack can be heard but you're not sure if it was cancelled out. he kept going at it until you were trembling, fighting for your life to hold back the moans that were threatening to escape your throat.

rubius was already stressing, as you two were one of the very last ones that were still alive.

your hands were shaking and your aiming was falling off, alexis was already eating you out as hard as he could down there.

the adrenaline was kicking in, your head would've started aching but you were too distracted from how good your man's tongue was.

you were 1v1 with another player before dying, a loud curse from you was taken as a reaction from dying... when that was partially the reason. you could care less about losing, you were getting close and alexis knew it.

his tongue makes one final lick on your clit before you cum, shuddering violently and it could be heard in your voice- however, no one but alexis knew...

~

when the stream finally ended, you scolded alexis for humiliating you in front of thousands of people. he knew you half-cared, but that didn't matter.

it was your first time meeting rubius, and he ruined it!

alexis just shrugged it off, "he didn't know what i was doing anyway. it was his first time meeting you, he probably just thought you were shy."

he was probably right, so you didn't try to fight with him about it. he knew more about rubius than you did, so why bother?

.........it was until then, you receive your first text from him. you almost freaked out, a famous content creator is really texting you! but it was a voice message, so you had to listen to it.

it was a bit weird though, is he going to introduce himself properly? or is he going to apologize for being hard on you during the match?

you open the notification and press the play button for the note,

as you listened to it, your body went cold. immediately.

"buenas tardes, y/n.

i heard everything you and quackity did during that fortnite match,

you two are disgusting."

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Chat have we discussed drunk chess with cherik cause i just think. That would be the darnedest silliest thing they could do

[valtsv]

finished reading the irl james fitzjames biography. i enjoyed it but i'm unsure how i feel about the author's choice to write it like an essay length effort to convince me to agree to go on a date with his friend who he's wingmanning for.

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[thirdeyeblue]

“Nine would have treated Martha better than Ten did”

I need to talk about this argument that never seems to stop circulating.

Note: Not a venomous/anti post. There’s more than enough of that across fandom spaces as is, and this is supposed to be a place for ✨sweet, blissful escapism✨

When making this argument, people seem to envision a scenario in which Nine never met Rose.

While I can appreciate a good hypothetical, recognizing Rose's significance to the Doctor (Nine and Ten) is essential to understanding why things with Martha played out the way they did in the first place.

In the third series, the Doctor is grieving. This grief is deliberately threaded into nearly every script, whether spoken aloud or not (and these are just a few examples):

He's burning in Rose’s wake the entire time Martha travels with him, which is why it’s so frequently called upon: It’s 100% deliberate in framing his grief. He grieved as Nine too, of course— having been fresh on the heels of the Time War — but then he met Rose, which changed everything.

Back then, he was still a rude, traumatized pain in the ass, but we watch Rose soften more of those jagged edges with every episode as they grow closer; as he lets his guard down and forms a deep connection with her.

He falls in love (against his better judgment) and it's game over.

And yes: provided S1E1 had been titled 'Martha', one can realistically assume things might have unfolded similarly to how they did with Rose. However, it wouldn’t have been that way just because the Doctor was Nine and “Nine was different” — it would be because he wasn’t already in love with someone else. The same can't be said for the start of S3.

Think of it like this: if Rose AND Martha had been in that cellar — if Nine had taken both of them along with him in S1 — we’d eventually be looking at the most melodramatic love triangle ever, what with him living in close quarters with two brilliant, gorgeous, compassionate young women... But Doctor Who is plenty “soap opera” as is with just one woman in the TARDIS.

(I certainly wouldn’t object to reading that fic, though)

Now, regarding the unrequited elephant in the room…

His inability to be romantic with Martha isn’t because he thinks her lesser, nor is it for lack of compatibility. It isn't because Rose is any better than her. It certainly isn’t just because he’s Ten.

It’s really only for one reason, which can't be denied — and now I’m a broken record:

He is still in love with Rose.

(cut from a tenrosedaily gif)

Nine is Ten, and Ten is only such a mess in S3 because he’s just lost the love of his life. Martha merely got caught in the crosshairs of a volatile Time Lord in mourning, and yes — it sucks. Absolutely.

But it also feels dismissive to chalk Ten and Martha’s relationship up to little more than some sort of mindless dance of pining, jealousy, and toxicity.

Ten trusted Martha with his life over and over again — and hers, with him. He constantly praised her brilliance, happily carting her around time and space with no intention of letting her go. In the BBC’s extended universe of novels/comics/cartoons/etc, there’s so much depth to their relationship: love and trust and trauma and sacrifice. They had their own special bond as mates, their own complexities — so it’s a bummer that it's forever overshadowed by the other things.

I’m not denying that there was a lot of stuff that sucked/was for sure toxic about Ten's S3 behavior, but so many of the things I've seen him catching flak for can be directly attributed to being A Clueless Fucking Alien Idiot (not a trait that’s unique to Ten) — as well as his flat-out obliviousness to Martha’s feelings.

So yes, I agree: if Rose never existed, he would have treated Martha differently as Nine. He also would have treated her differently as Ten. Certainly.

But Rose did exist, and when discussing canon, it matters.

“He tells me that he absolutely, 100% loves Rose... He tells me how my daughter; my wonderful, beautiful, clever little girl saved him from himself before… And he says that’s all because of me! I made her into the Rose Tyler that saved him.”

-Jackie Tyler, Flight Into Hull!

Martha got the short end of the stick in S3. She came round at the wrong place and time, but that doesn't mean it was all bad. It doesn't mean the Doctor didn’t adore her. It certainly doesn't mean the time they spent together was wasted or worthless. They were brilliant!

Sure, he could be a twat, but let it be known that he was a twat with Rose as well, both as Nine and Ten. I’m sure Tentoo can be plenty infuriating, too. So while I'll defend Ten (and Tentoo) into the ground forever and ever and ever, I'll concede that he's fucked up.

The Doctor is a certified Pain In The Ass. It’s one of the things I love so much about this character — dynamics.

But never forget that Martha was goddamn tough as nails and overcame every bit of it. She moved on with her life, and the Doctor moved on with his. One can only pray that, when they inevitably drag her back onto the show (which feels inevitable if I'm honest), we see at once that she's been living her best life for all these years.

[tetzoro]

the day the earth stood still is the day i felt your presence leave it, and then every day after that.

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Being a married bi woman in a straight marriage means either getting the “When’s the baby???” family talk or the “hahaha you are straight now, you made your choice, you don’t seem bi anymore” like doesn’t matter you & your boothang are both bi, your sexuality only exists if you’re an active participant, otherwise you chose the easy path & idk it shouldn’t make me upset but I feel like a part of me has died

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up

[thompsborn]

i know i’ve said that being able to do the stereotypical insane ao3 authors notes is fun and amusing to me but can the universe NOT take that as a challenge to add more shit to my list of things to add next time i post ???? like. fucking. Calm Down Please.