#i wish i had drawn more fanart of her

[ciervobizarro]

.

[stitchwraith-stingers]

sorry for never shutting up about how people treat hazel but ohh my god shes my fave character atm.... i get to be mad!! she has good enough information that you can play around with headcanons freely

the only moments people wouldve brung up is when dev is in the episode, there was no reason for the episode that showed her tendancy to overthink and be emberassed over small mistakes by wishing a do-over and over again, having to realise that running away from the idea of creating a problem wont help her in the long run JUST so people could go "omg haha dev has a crush on her" i could litterly not tell you what the general concensious on most episodes are because i dont know peoples opinions on them because in general they dont discuss them beyond his scenes

fanart too, ive personally muted the dev and devzel tag and when i look up #hazel wells i want you to guess how many posts i find that arent hidden! spoiler alert its barely any of them, listen im not saying im shocked at the fact The Characters Made As A Duo are drawn as a duo, its whatever and while im not personally a fan in general i really do get the appeal, but you have to admit that at some point it gets really suspicious when the only fanart you can find in one character is only with the more popular one, over 200 fics in the hazel tag on ao3 and theres only 20! without the dev tag! (10 more then when i last checked, crazy! go read fly bird, fly now), and my main problem is is that hazel is shown to be her own person OUTSIDE of their friendship, infact wouldnt you know it shes the protagonist herself! the fact that most aus ive seen are focused on dev/dale/peri is whats most confusing to me, "oh but theyre so interesting to work with"

really! youre telling me you cant think of a fic / au idea on her own? miss "i was going to have a previous godparent who didnt listen to me at all", miss "i am very anxious and i overthink to the point where my desicions", miss "i had an encounter with my evil shadow self when i was a fairy" (shout out to fairy bound au btw, im a big fan), miss "my mom doesnt fully know how to handle children inspite of being a therapist and tells me im handling things mature so i feel like i should be", miss "with the fact that im terrified my friends are making fun of me behind my back, i didnt know how to talk to anyone and a cafetiria made me so overworried and i speak to my rocks could imply the fact that i was outcasted at a young age", miss "my brother who has been my anchor and i has taught me everything i need to know has left me and hes also struggling to adjust to everything and we were insanely close to the point where the reason this whole thing started is because of him", miss "i regularly help my dad hunt a ghost that doesnt exist but it makes him happy", miss "i am litterly friends with the coolest kid in elementary school", miss "my landlords are litterly doomsday preppers and our parents want me to get along with their werido twins", miss "i didnt even hestitate to kill myself if i had to save potatoes for humanity after i pissed off mother nature", miss 'i got called out on projecting my past bonding expiriences on my best friend by some werid demon posessing her body right infront of me' none of that makes you want to think of something about her on her own? not even a spark of an idea? its almost like you guys watched exclusively 6 episodes and watched 5 minutes out of them at most

hazel is very interesting and shows her own struggles, she likes puns and fries and rocks and anime and horror movies (and apparently mushrooms if you count that one scene), she tries to problem solve so that no one is unhappy (patty being alive so winn wasnt upset, trying to get the band and orchestra together, accidently haunting her house and wishing her dads day was extra special, trying to find a dinosaur she spontaniously teleported his own job), she has multiple episodes showing her insecurities and how she tries to hide it so she doesnt look like a bad person, but inspite of it all is a understanding person and a peacemaker and doesnt like arguments, hell shes even such good autism represntation im 99.9% sure it wasnt intentional at all

dont even get me started on the takes ive seen in the finale, listen the finale has alot to be said and it definatly wont be everyones cup of tea (i think them trying to refrence every episode felt so chaotic personally) but regarding people with the ending is still giving me a headache, "she shouldve used her wish on him" that wouldve been so boring and predicable, say what you want on what she actually used it for but i think you guys should realise that for the kid whos regressing back into his bad copium mechanisms should get to face his concequences, 'hes 10 and neglected so thats why he acted like that' and 'she doesnt need to put up with how he treats her and hold his hand and be his personal therapist' can both coexist, people being pissed that she lightheartly agreed that he fucked up when HE admitted it is crazyyy CRAZYYY (also the fact ive seen someone say 'her moms a therapist she shouldve known' ???)

this isnt even touching on "hazels other relationships like her friends and family arent developed enough so thats why ppl dont care that much" while that is a valid critism i have with the show in general i still dont think applys to what im specifically talking about to demonstrate dale has appeared in THREE episodes (four if you want to stretch it), meanwhile hazels parents have appeared more often and im barely seeing them in fanart "but dale has a backstory!" so do those two have a whole episode explaining how they met "b-but dale is interesting as a role as a villain!" the guy is barely a villain [so far atleast], but also is being a therapist and a parascienists already not an interesting enough? are you guys suddenly not able to make as much headcanons expanding apon them as you did with dale? thats the thing that confuses me the most, whats stopping you from giving random information from your head to anyone else?, (i didnt know how to word this point so hopefully this makes sense)

listen im going to say it right now MOST OF THIS IS DEFINATLY UNINTENTIONAL AND NOT EVERYONE IS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE but some of u guys might really need to uncover some biases on why you think the black girl should coddle the rich white boy when he wasnt treating her well at the time, if that makes sense

[megamindsecretlair]

A Taste of the Divine, Teaser

Pairing: Yakuza!True Form!Sukuna x Black!Fem!reader/ plus size reader

Warnings: 18+ only, MINORS DNI. Angst. Plot with filthy smut. Mentions of violence against women. Kidnapped reader, dark elements. Monster fuckers unite. Consensual but power imbalance.

Summary: Sukuna is the mysterious leader of the Itadori Clan. When he gets his hands dirty, striking against a rival clan, he runs across a woman held captive. He cannot strike her, so he takes her to his apartment to learn what spell she has over him.

Word Count: 892

A/N: Zooted hours will always get me in trouble. I blame (affectionate) @westside-rot for my brain rot. Chuz she showed me a fanart and now I need to exorcise this from my mind 😩

Taglist: @browngirldominion @iv0rysoap @amethyst09 @ciaqui @we-outsiiiide @thecookiebratz @harmshake @umber-cinders @00aijia00 @judymfmoody @multiversefanfics @tvchi

Like he's the boss, obvs , but he's also a boogeyman in near future Japan, so high tech a bit with an old school flavor. He takes care of his enemies by eating them. He planned ahead for one of his enemies, but the enemy had the nerve to step into Sukuna's territory without a word ahead for permission. He follows this enemy to a normal house where he ambushed his enemy but notices a random woman already locked up, blindfold, etc. Sukuna is curious, first time in a while, so he spares the girl and brings her to his place.

Over the course of some weeks, he asks this girl who she is and she just keeps saying nobody. He's frustrated but for some reason, he doesn't want to kill her. A new one for him because on anyone else, he'd have lost his patience and killed them.

Also over the course of these weeks, he's drawn to her, to her stories, to the fact that she doesn't look at him like a monster. Not that she can see past the blindfold. But she's scared and yet brave enough to touch him, talk to him, demand nothing of him. Not even her freedom. She's too accepting. Too nice. Too sweet. And he wants to stamp that sweetness out. He wants to snuff it like the wick of a dying candle.

Every night he enters the room intending on ending the morbid curiosity. He cannot live like this. Not when he's trying to expand his empire. Become a king amongst peasants. He cannot be beholden to a nobody. And yet, every night he is stopped in his tracks by the sight of her shy but kind smile. The way her head tilts towards him like she's expecting him. Like she's...excited to see him.

And he finds himself revealing things about himself, about his life. And he allows her more freedom. He lets her bathe often, let's her get a little sun, feeds her better. He learned his lesson about leaving her hungry too long.

He wants to know everything about her. Every thought, every wish, every dream at night. He fantasizes about kissing her, to the point of distraction, to the point that he attends his meetings and can't hear anything over the sound of his heart, miles away, tucked into his apartment and she doesn't even know what he looks like. It's maddening. It's frustrating.

Does she think as he does? Does her heart beat faster when he's near and slow down while he is away? Like a string that somehow connected them both. He had to end it. He had to get rid of the problem.

Get rid of her and his nightmare could finally end. He would bow to no one, dream of no one, be consumed by no one. He rushed to his place, hellbent on carrying out this dastardly deed. He had to exorcise her from his psyche. Cleanse himself of this witch who surely cast a spell on him. She controlled his mind somehow, that's why his mind often turned to thoughts of her.

He entered her room. She popped up in fear and curiosity. Hell, he could smell her interest. Smell her blood too. He didn't know whether he wanted to eat her or eat her.

He pulls out his gun and brings it to her head. His finger is a whispers breath away from the trigger. She cried out, calm instead of scared. Hell, could she be more stupid? Why wasn't she angry? Why wasn't she crying or begging for her life? Why would she accept this? Who is she? What hell demon spawned her to burn him alive with?

All she does is smile at him and accept this. This cruel, cold ending. This inhumane, brutal end to a nobody. It should be fitting. It was more than she deserved. A final smile and a hand on his arm. He flexed his hand, watching her fingers dance across his skin with the movement.

It's okay, she told him. It's okay.

For the first time ever, Sukuna's hand shook and he lowered his arm. To kill you was like chopping off his own arm. He could do it, but he'd be hollow after. He placed his forehead against hers and asked her what spell she put on him.

And she answered with a soft voice, none. I wouldn't dare bespell a king.

No sooner had it left her lips did he kiss her. Giving in to the pounding of his chest and the burn in his throat to get to her.

Feel her, consume her. He ripped at her clothes and tossed her onto the bed. He fucked her, hard, punishing. The severe snap of his thighs against hers, pushing into her body with precision.

Stupid, pathetic girl. He could snap her in half and pick his teeth with her bones. And she was willingly taking him, welcoming him in her tight, dripping heat. And he'd never heard a finer symphony than the cries of her moans. He'd never tasted a finer meal than pressing his lips to hers and drinking her cries.

And afterward, when he was still around after, holding her, palm to palm, brown skin to his, he stared at the ceiling and finally understood what it was to feel fear.

Whewwwwww. Yeah ima need a series with this 😩🙌🏽The Secret Sukuna Files

[pemaillustrate]

I am so surprised that I haven't drawn su fanart sooner and more. But when I started posting art online the show was over, including Future, and I went on to watch other shows like Toh. And that show had me hooked. But I love su. It was one of the first shows I watched religiously, and my favorite character is Garnet. I love Garnet mostly because she gives off Mom vibes and she's awesome!! So I wanted to draw chibi art of her, Ruby and Sapphire! I do wish that we got to see more Ruby and Sapphire just being a cute couple!!

But I hope you like the sketch

[horizon-verizon]

Was the Velaryon family also black in the books?

because I've seen some fans of the show accuse artist or even fanarts of being racist just because they decide to draw/portray the Velaryon being white according to the book canon version, despite the fact there is no description of their skin color.

No, they were not. They were white. Corlys, Laena, and Laenor would have been described as such through darker-dark skin color if so, just as Nettles and the Summer Islanders and Missandei all were at one point or another, but they are not.

(The Dornish are not PoCs, they are "spicy whites", [refer to image below of GRRM's reply ato a fan abt race in ASoIaF and adaptions] and THIS POST I made).

Ryan point blank said that he/they made the Valyrians black for the diversity count and that it was an advantage to have it "obvious" Rhaenyra had kids who weren't Laenor's.

GRRM said he wished he could have made the Valyrians darker skinned. Which tells us that they canonically, typically, are not PoCs/Black.

Not all canon Valyrian/descendants are pale-skinned OR white (Nettles, Bellegere Otherys' kids by Aegon IV, Baelor Breakspear [Baelor was not canonically PoC, again, at least he cannot be transferred as the modern def of "poc"]), but the Valyrians are a majority pale-skinned and white in both pre/post Conquest Planetos history.

Of course, it's always possible that some artists choose to ONLY portray bk versions of the Velaryons BECAUSE the bk/orig/canon Velaryons are white...but that doesn't mean ALL artists who refuse to draw HotD characters/actors do so bc they are racist, bc HotD characters =/= to their F&B orig counterparts in terms of characterization or appearance. Sometimes it's because they hate the costumes or simply don't like HotD's story, how they treat actors, etc. Or they simply make so much more F&B/ASOIAF content than the TV adaptations bc they prefer the orig story and characters.

fkaluis on tumblr/fkadaeneyrs on Twitter was one who first made only art based on strictly what existed for Rhaenyra and the others pre-HotD; Rhaenyra especially nearly never is drawn in her HotD costumes...bc HotD really dialed back on her extravagance. But fkaluis has also seemingly decided to do more "merges" of HotD and F&B/ASOIAF but upgrade HotD to resemble more F&B/ASOIAF-familiar imagery with original elements in their work. Laena Velaryon, Rhaena of Pentos, and Baela is Black in many, many of their work, but they never wear the HotD costumes. They also love drawing Black Baela/Rhaena is what their book!selves were described as having worn or imagined given what other canon art shows for Rhaenyra.

Examples [order: rhaena, jocelyn baratheon, rhaenyra, laena x rhaenyra, laena x daemon, rhaenyra x laenor, baela x jacaerys, rhaena, baela, baela, laena, HotD young rhaenyra in upgraded and mod version of show costume in epi 4, and finally hotD older Rhaenyra in upgraded and mod version of show costume in epi 8, finally Aegon III w/Daenaera Velaryon]:

See how all the Valyrians/Velaryons/Targs also have purple eyes in his work, while the show doesn't? And Daenaera canonically is described as having skin as pale "as snow":

Rhaena and Baela had "fine features", which code for European white in most white-written literature....as well as here, to distinguish them from the Velaryon boys' "snub" noses:

Laenor, too ("aquiline"):

And the two Rhaenyra art piece beside the Aegon III x Daenaera ne showcase modifications of HotD costumes and hair on face/bodies of Milly and Emma.

Of course PoCs and Black people can have "fine" features (stronger nose bridges, thinner lips, etc.), but in Western literature today, as well as for a long time since the late Mid Ages, white people tend to not describe white people's skin unless its to really emphasize their beauty through paleness, describe how it's transitioning to something else through thr flow/nonflow of blood, etc. Everyone else, to make it clear they aren't white, are ALWAYS told to have olive, brown, dark skin...unless they want to say they've (white people who've tanned OR darker skinned or South/Med EU-coded white people) tanned then it gets confusing for PoC/Black readers. Then you'd need other clues like the features and how people in the world treat them, even if it seems innocuous or positive.

Which means people have got to do a little investigating or light inquiry to the artist if they can if they really want to discover that the artists is racist.

[frascospecimen]

wait ehy were ppl accusing u of being fatphobic 💀💀💀

It was a while back when I drew more splatoon fanart, I used to draw callie a lot and I like drawing callie fat because I like people being able to see themself in my art + mutual I like draws callie fat + I think fat people are cute + idk just fun to draw. I wish splatoon had more body type representation basically every main character uses the same body model. Anyways people from the splatoon tag got really mad and came here and said the way I drew her was gross and fatphobic???????????? Because I guess it’s fatphobic to include fat people in your art. obv it’s just people who are fatphobic trying to put me down I also got a lot of “ew why do you draw her ugly” general hate people getting mad at me and saying I have a fetish etc. Not the reason I haven’t drawn callie in forever I don’t really care that much LOL but still a thing that happened

I haven’t drawn her in so long but I wanted to again….. I love her so so much she’s so dear to me❤️❤️

[blondebibliophiliac]

The Owl House Notes

I have watched TOH several times over the past year and a half, and I will never get over it. All the character development, the little pop culture references, the world development. Ugh. It's amazing. So here are some notes.

we all know that the Clawthorne family is the family that Evelyn, the witch that Philip and Caleb met, is from. I feel that it's only right that Hunter is an honorary Clawthorne, too. He's literally a clone of Caleb. Obviously the Clawthornes are the descendants of Evelyn and Caleb's relationship. So I feel it's only right. I know we've all accepted Darius as Hunter's dad/dad-figure, but it would be cool if he was included in the Clawthorne family, too.

I think it's pretty obvious by now that I love the found-family trope. As someone that had family problems growing up, I value the bonds that end up being stronger than familial bonds. Now, Luz basically has 2 moms plus a bonus parent (Raine) and 3 siblings (King, Hunter, and Vee), and I love that. If you haven't seen fanart of all of them, you're missing out. It's just amazing.

Speaking of their relationships, I love to see how they accept and even request physical affection. In the beginning, Eda and King are confused and almost repulsed by Luz's hugs. King quickly becomes more accepting of these hugs, even getting angry when Amity gets a hug from Luz before him, calling her a "swindler and a thief". But in the last episode, Eda runs to King and Luz to give them hugs and kisses before they play the Collector's "games". I wonder if physical affection was prevelant in the Boiling Isles because in the second episode Eda asks "What is this" when hugged by Luz. I think it is because Willow and Gus hug Luz when they show up to the Owl House. I think Eda just isn't used to physical affection, or maybe she isn't used to it from strangers.

Here's another thing I'm wondering. The Bat Queen states that she doesn't remember the witch that held her staff, but that she was the staff for a giant. You know who was giant? Papa Titan. What if her witch was Papa Titan? It would make sense, because he's been dead for hundreds of years, and the mind loses memories after so long. Also, she takes care of all the other palismen that were lost, including Flapjack, whose witch was Evelyn. If we can assume that the events of TOH take place in the late 2010's/early 2020s, then the age of these palismen makes sense. Anyway, I think that The Bat Queen could've been Papa Titan's palisman because there are no other signs of giant beings on the Boiling Isles or in the Demon Realm.

At some point, we catch a glimpse of the "recipe" for creating clones. If you didn't catch it, here it is: Galdorstone, Palistrom Wood, Stonesleeper Lungs, Bone of Ortet, and Selkidomus scales. This would partly explain why there's a shortage of Palistrom Wood, why the Galdorstones are so rare and so well hidden, and why Belos instructed Hunter to hunt down the Selkidomus in season 2. It also explains why the clone he attempted to possess in the final episode didn't work out. He likely didn't have all of those materials or didn't have enough to make a fully formed clone. When he initially tried to take over one of the clones, I was worried that there would be two Hunters walking around and that Belos would try to impersonate Hunter, which would have derailed all of their plans. The Bone of Ortet, by the way, is basically just a bone of the one you wish to clone.

I wish there could've been a longer season 3. Although I love the 3 episodes we were given, and I think they're perfect, I wish it could've been drawn out. I would've loved to see the gang in the human world more, to see the rebuilding process of the Isles, see them do a field trip to the human realm from the university. But, I'll take what we were given.

I love the random pop culture references we get. During "Eclipse Lake" we get a Dragon Ball reference and I found that extremely hilarious. In "For the Future", Caleb says "It's not like a swarm of ghosts will inexplicably appear if you say his name...I think", which gives us the second Harry Potter reference of the show (the first one appearing in the first episode where Luz is trying to fly on Owlbert and says "expecto"). It's just great. I love to see it.

I always have more thoughts about the show when I watch it. I need to start adding them more often.

[north-noire]

I hope you’re feeling better!

Takes some Charlie art!

She’s so gorgeous I love her so much I promise more fan art of hidden hands will be drawn lol

I wish I was, but I'll probably feel a lot better soon when things in my life die down a little. Right now I'm stressed but I'm doing my best. Thanks for checking in though!

Your art had improved so much, oh my!! I'm so proud!! She looks so good in your style, thank you!!! Take your time on any HH AU related fanart, and no pressure, I'm really happy with anything I get, I'm glad you love her design ^^

For the Charlie artwork, here you go!

Thanks for wanting to make it your wallpaper! I'm super honored :'] It's weird thinking some people want my art on their stuff ASDIOAIJOSD, in a good way! I'm honored, ty so much :]

[velvetjune]

Alan Wake Night Springs DLC spoilers and thoughts:

This is very vague, but this really was the most Remedy thing to ever exist. My brain exploded at some point from Everything. Good game—you can tell those developers had the time of their life making all this. looking forward to the Lake House as something more serious and similar to the main game/tone.

Episode one with Rose was the best! Stunning from the start until the end and had the funniest moments in any Remedy game. [Rose voice] “𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚”

That fanart was SO good and could’ve been drawn by any irl Alan Wake fan. I can’t even say another or act like it’s embarrassing because I also think Alan is hot. So. Same Rose.

Bad boy Scratch being a werewolf.. Cat boy Alan (and the fucking Nightmare on Elm Street crop top fanart of him) being comically weak and in distress.. Rose dipping him at the end was unbelievably hilarious. Reject alpha male Scratch and embrace wet cat Alan. Every few minutes I had to remind myself that Alan technically wrote this,, his mind,, his perception of himself is incredible

That episode also was fun all around to play. Endless ammo and fun effects with the automatic shotgun. Rose slowly getting covered in blood. She’s already one of my favorite characters after this—she’s cringey in the best (and scarily realistic) ways. I support her

Episode 2: wish this one was longer because I missed Jesse and her awkward and aggressive conversations with others. I thought Dylan would pop up at some point, but of course Alan wrote himself into this twist ending. Couldn’t stop laughing with that. It felt just like the Night Springs eps of Alan Wake 1 lol.

I had the most trouble with some of the sections of this game, but it was fun, mostly just felt like a fool for not initially understanding it. The secret agency and clear references to the Board and FBC were everything. It was just Control: Coffee edition.

Episode 3: Death Rally Tom !! I was beyond happy seeing this. Always nice to see more Zane.

I’m not very familiar with Quantum Break outside of the general story and beginning, so the last episode was So Much. Initial thought: Please no Jesse and Tim in Control 2. It’s almost certainly supposed to be because of Quantum Break, but that version of her waiting for Tim came out of nowhere for me lol (also 😔 because I either want her to be with Emily or not get with someone at all—Control Jesse is so far from Beth Quantum Break/Lisa imo). The “but maybe…” multiverse romance was. whatever. cheesy but in a more negative way.

Another thing that makes me somewhat relieved this is the whacky DLC is that it does address a lot of the vague unanswered questions of the game in the typical sci-fi way (and probably a big win for theorists), and I want to keep that away from most of the main games. I like not knowing things lmao. It’s not a huge deal and I love all the crossovers/realities, but I want future AW (if 3 happens) and Control games to still largely focus on the mysterious horror without anything too definitive or distracting. I’m mostly okay with it here because this is Also an episode written by Alan and hosted by Door, so it’s not reliable—even if I’m sure this is what Remedy envisions when writing these games.

^ something something “In a horror story the victim keeps asking why, but there can be no explanation and there shouldn't be one. The unanswered mystery is what stays with us the longest and is what we'll remember in the end.”

However looooved how the third episode changed the style of the game repeatedly. The very last scene where the words form the writers room and Alan before it abruptly ends was great and the standout of the ep.

I’m not going to try to unpack all this, but it’s interesting how Alan and Door present themselves as being these largely antagonistic forces in this DLC. They’re an underrated duo (the two Masters of Many Worlds). Everything felt like it was Alan purposefully trying to imprint on these realities and influence things in his writing, making certain things parallel his life and circumstances. Reminded me of him attempting to get the irl Koskela brothers to kill each other to get out of the Dark Place. Hard to tell what’s really the truth.

I like Door too much to be scared of him. The jump scares were nicely paced throughout and the echoes of Tim/Shawn/Jack fighting him were interesting.

The tribute for James McCaffrey at the end was emotional and lovely.

[moonlight-coffeebean-147]

Doodles featuring @twistedtummies2 ft. Usagi. Or as I like to call it… late night doodles to distract myself from how I’m being boiled alive in my apartment/hj (The boiler’s being garbage)

1. Not much to say other than it’s just based on a meme 😂 And I love Smitty’s confused face here

2 & 3

It’s super funny drawing Elias as dog images 😂 Especially with the second which I felt goes perfectly with that part in Chapter two of his introduction story. There is a third one that is still a w.i.p. But I might finish it. Btw…. At this point I’m basically gonna be known as the “Elias artist” aren’t I? 😂/lh

4. I was originally gonna do all of your Twisted ocs… but I need to at least try to sleep it’s like 3 AM 😭. Plus to me it’d be poetic for me since these four were the characters that were the most developed and I grew the most familiar with when I first discovered your page. With this I added how I drew their eyes… since I’m trying to practice with eye style variety. Technical details:

Nakoda: I’ve actually doodled him once in one of my sketchbooks before. And he was actually fairly easy to draw, I’ve had ocs that had similar hair to him before. And… I have plenty of ocs who are just as flirtatious as he is and have made the exact look I drew him with 😂

Billy: Other than Elias… he was the easiest to draw and figure out how he’d work in my style. I was at first worried about his hair since it was my first time drawing his kind of hairstyle and I’m not that used to drawing short hair. But it actually worked out. It also helped that he’s similar to one of my own giant ocs in terms of personality. Fun fact, to the point where I almost thought he had freckles… which is a trait on my oc… but he doesn’t so… 👌

Elias: Is it obvious who my favorite is 😭

Reno: ……I’m just gonna say it. His hair SUCKED to draw 😭😂 I don’t know if it’s because I’m tired… the heat was getting to me.. or what… but his hair was not working out. Like with Billy I’ve at least drawn hair similar to his in the past… with Reno it was like the first time I’ve ever drawn that hairstyle in general. Even now I’m still not that happy with it… even in the first doodle. Like bruh I just 🥲I know that’s probably just me being over critical of myself since this does count as fanart of someone’s ocs, not just that, but someone who I admire the work of, believe me my years of participating in Art Fight has familiarized me with that feeling but just….. don’t be an artist guys 😭/j. Maybe when I do the others I’ll redo him.

5. ….Usagi going through how I feel right now

Don’t know who’s next to her… could be any of the pred lads… Insert “Twisted Wonderland isn’t an Otome Game” joke here. Though I do think this could be an interesting Vore concept… being so hot and just done that even the idea of being in a warm stomach is just… “bruh can you not?” 😂. Btw… this is how Usagi acts when their in one of her moods… a lot more snappy, sarcastic, and blunt with their wording…. I wish your bois good luck with that. Also fact about Usagi is that they literally have trouble finding pjs their size since she’s a frail little thing.

Also fair warning to all the Vore enthusiasts.. it’s not necessarily a big kink for me, hell it’s why safe Vore is in the neutral section of my pinned post so in turn….. I don’t take it seriously. I very much make a lot more jokes and memes involving it.

6. To end things off… this

Death stare Usagi. Is not something to be messed with. They may be small… but they will bite and is legitimately terrifying sometimes.

Would like to know reactions to not even just Usagi, the Prefect in general making this face 😂

Anyways that’s all from me for tonight…. Or morning technically lol

Moon signing off… wish me luck in this heat. Art is hard

[hellonerf]

do u have any specific fav caname(or heta in general) art that has gotten stuck in your mind for a while??

hellooo anon i'm going to use this opportune to share various fanarts i really really love or got really attached to. some are stuff i saw when i was just frenzying into hetalia so it might be random attachment. other fanarts are anything under my fvorite tag here! anyways here via link form because repost ish complicated. in no particular order besides making it easier for me to count

i felt bad for how fat this list became so it's under the cut now have fun

harumachi in internet yamero by sama_8_sm ->😊has been my telegram bg for months now ever since i got into hetalia. i don't know why but it's like sooo like i saw it and it nudged me further into hetalia. could've been what convinced me. look they're so cuteeee

this thing by dekitakoto -> had to dig to find it cause they draw so much. but seriously. i used to just drop this image to my friends mid convo they'd be like hey man. i was rly obsessed w this artist's stuff getting into hetalia and they seriously drew so much so i could just keep digging thru it. love love love. while digging i felt compulsion to save more ames made by them. you might find some inspo from them in my artstyle (>.>) could be subconscious... i really like their style... mostly they drew a lot of rusame,ukus,amecan,engcan(all very directly typed here if u gaf about ship order lol) but yeah one of those artists that were really nudging my head in hetalia

like every drawing by this artist but specifically this one by waiting_tenmei -> nothing to say here. ugh. so good. caname hold. ugh.ugh. ugh. ugh. lots of really good rusames in their gallery too. notably i really like this one by them as well

this genderbend alfred by vanitys_lair -> putting this drawing because i just really love it and it filled my heart for girl ame so much i stare at it a lot. but also this artist's work in general is incredible. it seems they've logged out of that account all i hope is they're doing well. if you'd like to stroll thru their media tab, it's a lot of korpans and general east asia art if you're interested in that. their artstyle is so lovely and i really love their art

this caname by mandh_002 -> i'm literally so sad i'll probably never be able to read their caname doujin. i just have to put that here. i lived off of their caname for months sucked on it like thumb. i don't know. like i just look at them from time to time it's like enrichment. all of their caname could count actually. UGH.

i'm counting this as caname by cancallmecap -> i really like their artstyle. actually this is more that they're one of my fav heta artists rather than this in particular being a fav heta fanart(they have rly good harumachis) i'm just putting it here cz it changed my brain chemistry when i saw it

zombie apocalypse hokubei by 8take1uchi01 -> yet again a lot of this artist's work in general... brain stimulatingly fucked up. their zombie apocalypse au things just make me especially thrilled (^_^) it's really perfect... ame mouth covered... zombie... ugh. it's too good... i could put a bunch of their other works here too but i'll refrain. there's one comic where cana is scolding ame for sulking so he pulls at his arm only to find that it's chopped off

this ame by rinnma2019 -> i fell in love with this ame. i stared at her and she struck my heart with a bow. also another artist who i just reaaaally love the art style of! some harumachis by them i really like as well one(i fell in love with this ame too) two three

face? by kopeni27 -> uwaaa. uwaa. i wish i could read into this. againnn a lot of their works. very good. tense and ambient. they've also drawn this very lovely genderbend alfred which you can imagine how i feel about. uuuguuguhhhLOVEYOU I LOVE YOUUU AME okay they've also drawn gb england if you want to see that (^_^)

this ame by sabaku_0109 -> if i had a nickel for every ame red hands imagery i'd only have a few but it's interesting right. anyways their ame is so so very cute. if you're looking for a very cute amerus i'd recommend this artist. amazing artstyle. i'd also put a bunch of other ame drawings by them here... he is just so cute in their style i want to cry

this post is getting so long i'm so sorry. but i just need to share these okay here's a few more

ame birthday art by sweatland6260 -> 🤤🤤🤤wuauuaauuwaauaaaaaaaa wuauawu wuaaaa

this caname that will find you by callmefiance_ -> wait actually i also have to put this caname wedding drawing by them. nothing to say it's perfect it's what i've dreamed of. THIS WILL HAPPEN SOON i love my life so bad. very cute ames very good canames

caname ahoge swap by fantasie789 -> i've only. recently seen this artist. but i really like their style... they've deleted posts fast and one of them had a very cute caname i really love... i really love... they look so cute. i love swap things if that wasn't obvious yet

caname comic by tuno_cow -> so good just look at it. strange and caring and weird caring i love it i really love it it's like true caname it's the true heart's caname the caname you know. okay. love i love i love caname

england and ame rev war by neco_0211 -> so so good in a sickening way. i love it so much i thought about it a lot since i saw it

ame in truman show by x033o -> very touching in my heart. by concept alone you can understand... okay? amazing. amazingly!!!! amazing!! amazing! if i were more coherent i'd word it but it's okay you get the idea

edit ame and some jpus by ooonu3 -> OK i promised myself i wouldn't edit this post but i really really have to add this one okay. i fell in love with this ame i am madly in love with this ame. and all their other ames too. its the kind that true ame fuckers can feel with their heart and boner. i don't even know what to say i am just. i want to see this simple country girl eat something fresh in a hot summer day. i don't even know. i don't even know

edit edit FUCKKK the account is private rn but there was one gif of cana and ame over the homumado heads bumping gif that i cannot believe i forgot to put here am i fucking stupid. the artist is a030s and this gif changed my life okay that's it

and some artists i wouldn't put a specific piece as my fave(even though i was already doing that sorry. okay. just see)

aa_uioo has very good torment ame art if you like that. an especially squeezable ame. if you'd like to see him crying and uncomfortable a lot the expressions are drawn very well

kekkon_shiroya is now privated but i liked a lot of their drawings

lune_247 very cute hokubeis if you care. you do care. aw thank you

if you want very cute roshis look at gyouza_cheese such a lovely style. they've drawn ame a couple of times as well but they delete a lot of art after posting and those ames are included. but they're very good ames. very cute

okay i think that's all. actually it's not all but we'd be all day unfortunately! there is so much art i really like so. (>_<) and again if ur curious you can also just look at my fvorite tag. good art there. thank you and so sorry for this long ass answer bye

[feathersandfarmers]

What is your opinion of Molly The Chick, Frizzle The Scouse Chick and Dr. Mark Fry?, and What is your opinion of Mrs. Melisha Tweedy’s new makeover and outfit?

Molly: I thought she was really cute, and looked so much like Ginger! I think she's a great addition to the Chicken Run cast of characters. I appreciate how the writers wrote her; She was outgoing and adventurous without being a bratty character. Honestly I just wished we could have seen more moments of her as a baby/toddler, and more moments of Rocky and Ginger looking after her and being regular parents!

Frizzle: I like Frizzle too! I had a hard time understanding some of what she said tbh. At first, i felt her color palette was too saturated, and i think i still do tbh (her color is way too different from all the other hens when you compare her to all the other character designs and their color palettes) but she's still cute and i enjoy drawing her! I have a headcanon that she's quite a good artist, and loves to draw and make crafts with Molly (she made the necklace she's wearing!)

Dr.Mark Fry: (okay so it's official his name is Mark? where is this stated, im curious!) I'm gonna say something weird but i remember seeing fanart of Dr.Fry drawn all thin, and sexy looking with a sly look to his face before his official design was revealed. Then you see him! He's all cute, and chubby-cheeked and has this goofy grin on his face. He's an eccentric scientist (and a theatre kid!) i would love to see more of his inventions. I wonder how he met Mrs Tweedy, he seems to really love and worship her.

Mrs.Tweedy's makeover: She looks great tbh, very reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn. She's got nicer makeup, dyed her hair all black to cover the greyness we saw in the first movie.This make-over of hers shows how she really desires to live a glamorous life-style.

[chordsykat]

It's the Return of the Revenge of the Sequel to

Fanart Free For All

(Part 5... or is it 6? I lost count...)

And I got to use a lot of cool-ass inking techniques on this go-around! Let's see what you guys had me draw!

First up... WHAT IF... @catboy-bill-nye 's Cordelia got to meet the other Dethmoms? I have a feeling it'd go fine... but then again... she might end up suggesting to her son Charles he have Molly killed. Oh well!

WHAT IF... Murdertooth Records was a thing that actually happened? @claudia-nomusaabara 's Tina would almost certainly find success with the label... even if her name and the title and credits and everything else was dwarfed by the producer's credit on the front and back of the album. :P

And another request from @claudia-nomusaabara -- WHAT IF... Skwisgaar and Tyr were still close? God I miss this fuzzy little stepdad-man. I wish this happened (maybe it could still happen..?)

And so we come to WHAT IF... Toki and Teja got along for five minutes.... It's never gonna happen, @curiouslyhigh. We both know it. But at least it's funny when Teja puts a hand on his old man's younger incarnation's mouth and tells him to shush because the grownups are talking.

And speaking of Toki! @pan-flute-skeleton asked WHAT IF... he actually practiced for once? I'd say he'd be just in time to bang out some tunes with Neil! Happy April 13th to all who celebrate!

But that's not all! WHAT IF... Skwisgaar and @pan-flute-skeleton's Vivi publicly endorsed the very Swedish use of bananas on pizza? I probably don't have to tell you that such praise for an obscure topping might just be the hot new trend of our immediate futures, kids!

And now for something a little different... WHAT IF... @el-michoacano's Aurelia was getting married? But to whom is she getting married? Nacho? Domingo? Jesse? (okay not Jesse) (God I love that dress. You're right, King. So extra. But so what?)

And now for the opposite side of domestic bliss! WHAT IF... Caj was Shawn Michaels and her "Diesel" was an entire entourage of some of her very favorite chicks (Dolly @dolly-macabre - St. Cecilia @gointothevvater - Ness @failedintsave and Nita (me buuut requested by @andreaswasneverhere ) (where can I get a belt-buckle that says "DADDY"?)

And last but certainly not least, we have the best thing I've ever drawn, here... WHAT IF... Charles took some punk fashion lessons from @cruisingheightswithdragons's Kris? I'd say it's about time. The old boy could use a makeover. :9

Really really fun to doodle your babies and your brain droppings, my loves! I look forward to doing more of these as soon as possible. :D

[midnightechoes]

Here on the eve before the finale of RWBY volume 9, my thoughts are drawn to Nuts and Dolts, one of my very favorite ships in RWBY.

Full disclaimer: I’ve been a fan of RWBY for about two years. A couple of friends got me into it after the v8 finale aired. So yes I had to experience the hiatus like everyone else, but I didn’t have to experience the years between Penny dying during the Fall of Beacon and her return in volume 7.

But anyway, I’m thinking a lot about these two:

This was the scene where the ship sailed for me, although I understood the appeal from Penny’s very first appearance. I was heartbroken when Penny first died, although there was a part of me that thought “I mean, she is an android. In theory you could fix her.”

And a few weeks later, there she was, in her Maya animation engine glory. And wow did Nuts and Dolts really soar. We got fed SO WELL in volumes 7 & 8.

I couldn’t believe how much time they spent together, just how often they held hands and hugged. I swear, Ruby’s never had more intimate contact with any cast member than she had with Penny. There was just something about Penny that made her feel safe and comfortable.

But we all know how volume 8 ended. Perhaps it was inevitable. And WOW, to immediately get Friend during the ending credits, a song that’s literally Penny saying that her life was worth living because she got to know Ruby.

These two really are the Romeo & Juliet ship of RWBY, aren’t they.

I really hoped that we’d get a chance to see Ruby actually deal with the loss of Penny in volume 9. AND BOY DID WE. lol totally a “careful what you wish for” situation.

It certainly was great though. It solidified that, whether you interpret Penny and Ruby as platonic or romantic, they meant the world to each other.

Nuts and Dolts shippers got so much content this volume, even if it was of the tragic variety.

I’ve been thinking about them a lot this week because, unless something miraculous happens in the finale, this is probably truly the end for that content.

Of course, us shippers will always celebrate and create content for the ship, but as far as stuff we get from the show, this is probably it. I hope Ruby has some sort of emotional resolution about Penny in the finale, and maybe she’ll mention her once in a while as someone she lost, but we’re at the end as far as in-show content.

There’s nothing wrong with this. The show’s had a story to tell, and we’re simply at the end of this branch of it. They’ve done a wonderful job, and I’m so grateful for the story they gave Ruby and Penny.

It’s just... the ending of something, the end of the canon story of this ship. That gives me a melancholy feeling.

I love Nuts and Dolts. No matter what happens in the finale, I know that these two will continue loving each other in so much fanart, AUs, canon divergent timelines, etc.

So if tomorrow truly is the end of their story in-canon, then I just have to say thank you to CRWBY for these two, and this is how I’ll choose to remember them: happy, safe, finding comfort in each other’s embrace. 

Together.

[sayonarasanity]

Say You Won't Let Go

Link to AO3

Inspired by this fanart.

They were friends for nearly six years, six months and maybe six or seven days when one evening, in senior year of college and after drink after drink Hanji told him, “I wanna ruin our friendship.”

Levi was sitting on the floor of his dorm room, leaning against his bed in an old, grey hoodie, black pants and a not-so-clear head. It was getting gradually hot although the window was open and cold, late night spring air crawling through the half-drawn curtain. And with almost blurry as well as shocked eyes he stared at Hanji, cheeks aflame. “What?”

Hanji, who was currently seated in between his legs while supporting herself with one hand on his hip, responded to his startled gaze. Her eyes dazed and warm behind her glasses were candid but also brave, unwavering which made him realize the reason why he felt so hot and cold at the same time. Her cheeks were flushed too, the colour of crimson sunset and Levi wished they weren’t so drunk, that he wasn’t so drunk so that he could carve each and every detail of her face more clearly and permanently in his memory.

“I mean it,” Hanji said just as a hiccup escaped her lips. “I just want to—”

But she couldn’t finish her sentence. Closing a hand over her mouth, Hanji abruptly got up to her feet, stumbling and rushed to the toilet. Levi could hear the retching and was worried too but all he could do was stay where he was and stare directly into the void, unfocused and confused. Only after he heard the flush of the toilet did he manage to gather up enough strength to get up and go after Hanji.

She was washing her face, “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

“’m fine,” Hanji muttered, moaning faintly. “But I’m never gonna drink again.”

“That’s what you said the last time you threw up in my toilet,” Levi remarked, matter of factly.

“That’s what friends are for,” Hanji said, brushing past him back into the room. Levi followed her, a strange feeling tugging at his heart, making him uneasy. Hanji took off her glasses and slipped under his bed sheets, making herself comfortable. Levi felt like a complete, ultimate fool watching her hugging his sheets around herself and burying her nose in his pillow breathing deeply. His mind was like a roaring, wild stream; so loud and mussy. Because what did she mean? I wanna ruin our friendship. But in what sense? Did she get bored of him? Did she want to stop talking to him? What if she told him that she never wanted to see him again? Oh, terrible thoughts. He felt himself shiver.

“Hanji—” He started, unsure of what to say next.

“Close the window, will you?” she murmured and seconds later she was asleep, snoring softly, her shoulders moving in harmony with her steady breaths.

Levi realized that he had long lost this battle. Sighing he closed the window shut, drew the curtains, and turned off the light before he lay on the other bed in the room. His roommate Erwin had gone to visit his parents for a few days. Hanji was keeping him company and he appreciated it. Loud and messy as she was Hanji was also a good friend. A close one too, ever since high school. And yet…

Groaning he turned to his side, staring into darkness. He could hear Hanji’s even, quiet breaths and smell the faint, lingering scent of her. And his thoughts wandered, remembering her words and the way his heart reacted, bumping hard and fast in his chest. Loud enough to echo in his ears. What did it mean? To ruin a friendship? Because if she wanted to ruin it the way Levi did for years now, he would accept it without batting an eye. All those years that tormented him, years that he had to keep his mouth shut and his heart tamed. And the times he had to shield his eyes while looking at her, seeing more than he could and feeling more than he should. For all these years he was silent and closed like a window, but his heart was like a thunder, and it was never possible to not hear its cries.

His lips parted and, “I am in love with you,” he whispered.

Hanji sighed in her sleep, stirred and the sheets rustled as she turned to her other side. Levi stared at her back through the darkness before he turned to lie on his back again, watching the ceiling. Sleep wouldn’t come maybe until early morning, but he was content with just knowing that she was there. It made him feel safe.  And for now, it was enough.   

5 Years Ago

[Hange]

Levi, Levi, Levi, Leviii!

[Levi]

No, Hanji

[Hange]

But you said you’d read it!!!!

[Levi]

Yes, I did

[Hange]

Then no to what?

[Levi]

No, I didn’t like it

[Hange]

I can’t believe you

[Levi]

It is overrated

[Hange]

Omg

Next thing I know you’ll start calling Homer overrated

[Levi]

I’ve never read Homer

[Hange]

You can go to hell for that

Pretty sure Zeus would’ve thunder-stuck you from Olympus

[Levi]

If only he were real

[Hange]

But seriously

Why didn’t you like it?

[Levi]

Told you it was overrated

[Hange]

It’s not even that well known

[Levi]

The quote you insisted on me underlining is though

And they are related

[Hange]

You can say that to a friend too Levi

[Levi]

Too sentimental

[Hange]

Not to me. Not if it’s you.

[Levi]

No

[Hange]

See? it works

[Levi]

It doesn’t

It’s just ridiculous

Whatever

I’m not reading this kind of shit ever again

[Hange]

But Levii

[Levi]

No, Hanji

[Hange]

Come onnnn

[Levi]

I said no

[Hange]

But what about Homer?

[Levi]

What about him?

[Hange]

Ugh

I hereby declare you as my mortal enemy

Or should I say you are the Hector to my Achilleus?

[Levi]

Just shut the fuck up already

And who?

[Hange]

OH MY GOD LEVİ

When Levi was upset about something he tended to find shelter and solitude in one of the empty classrooms. Hanji had figured it out by the end of their first year as “close enough friends” although she was quite positive that Levi didn’t fancy this situation. He liked being a closed book and even when she had the rarest opportunity to peek at the pages, he wasn’t easy to understand. But Hanji didn’t mind. The best books were often the hardest to read.

This time it was the art classroom. She had to check each floor to find out where he was and by the time she did, she was a gasping, sweaty mess. Her hair had gotten out of her slack ponytail, and it was all over her face. Fixing her glasses she carefully approached Levi who was sitting under one of the windows. His back pressed against the wall and his legs were tugged up to his chest. He had buried his face on his knees. In one of his hands that was looped around his legs was a wrinkled piece of paper.

A lump formed in her throat like a solid rock. She had to gulp a few times to push it down, enough to allow her to form some words. Words that she was quite certain wouldn’t mean much yet it never hurt to try.

Hanji sat down beside him as quietly as she could and drew her legs to herself. She was still breathing irregularly so lying her head backwards she watched the florescent lamps until her breaths returned to normal.

Before she had the chance to tell something possibly dumb or silly, Levi spoke with a low voice, “He left.”

Hanji stared at him, but his head was still buried deep on his knees. She knew who he was talking about, had heard the news this morning from his mother. Kuchel was upset too, she could tell from her swollen eyes and the sorrowful lines around her mouth.

She couldn’t speak, not even to tell him that she knew or that she was sorry. Seconds later he lifted his head from his knees and handed her the paper he had been clutching in his hand. Gingerly, Hanji took the piece of paper. There were merely three words written on it.

I’m sorry kiddo.

She felt the hair on her neck rise. That bastard. But before she could utter it aloud, Levi spoke. “I never even liked him.”

He was staring into the paper, his eyes scanning the words written on it. As if the more he looked at it the more likely it was for it to fade and disappear. His hair was tousled in a way that she could only explain as endearing. It was so rare to see him dishevelled. Even his shirt had some wrinkles on it.

She tried to smile but failed midway. “He wasn’t that bad, I guess.”

Finally, Levi looked at her but the moment his eyes found hers Hanji felt her heart crushing under the weight of the sadness in his eyes. Averting his eyes he didn’t let her see it for long. “He was the closest thing I had to a father,” he whispered. “A shitty one though.”

Being a talkative person had no use in moments like this. She wished the right words would somehow pop up in her brain like a puff of smoke or a flash of lightning. It wasn’t the time to wait for a miracle though. And she had no idea if it was the proper thing to say but at long last, she managed to tell him, “I think he loves you.” Levi stared at her, somewhat surprised and seeing that he wasn’t furious encouraged her to go on, “In his own weird, Kenny way.”

Hanji didn’t expect him to laugh at that and he didn’t. Yet he did snort softly, one corner of his lips curling upwards. She pressed her shoulder to his, feeling the warmth of his body and inhaling his fresh scent. “I think you love him too,” she told him mellowly. “In your own weird, Levi way.”

He curled his lips, his eyes cast downwards. “I don’t.” And then he closed his eyes, knitting his brows. When he talked again his voice was so full of pain that Hanji felt it like a cut on her palm. “He left me.”

“Levi,” she breathed and just like that the words were gone. “I’m sorry,” she said then. It was the only thing left. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything,” Levi told her, resting his head on the wall behind him. “You don’t need to.” His Adam's apple moved when he gulped and “Just stay,” he said, quietly.

“I will,” Hanji told him, immediately without hesitation. And she sniffed, she wasn’t even aware but there were tears collecting in her eyes, but she sent them back before they had a chance to roll down her cheeks.  “I will take care of you.”

He cracked his eyes open to respond to her stare. With determined eyes, she held eye contact and felt her heart soften when he smiled at her with the faintest of smiles. At that moment, she knew what he was thinking about as she remembered the same words uttered by Pylades. The words that he found ridiculous.

I’ll take care of you.

“It’s rotten work,” he whispered, with a twinkle of amusement behind the woeful mist in his eyes.

Hanji could hold back no longer. She reached out with her arms to wrap them around his neck. Levi pressed his face on the curve of her neck, she could feel his warm, shivering breaths on her skin. And she realized it was raining outside. Raindrops tapped against the glass softly, but they created a sorrowful melody.

“Not to me,” Hanji said, sniffling again, caressing his ruffled, black hair. “Not if it’s you.”

2 years ago

Hanji had a habit of picking the most awkward drinks she ever laid her eyes on, and she made sure to bring one to him at the end of his shift even though he literally worked at a coffee shop and very much disliked sugary things.

Levi sighed when he caught sight of Hanji, leaning against a streetlamp, holding two cups of God-knows-what in her hands, waiting for him. She didn’t notice him though until he was a few steps away from where she was. She seemed thoughtful, almost absent and immediately it filled him with unease.

“Oi!” he called, nudging her foot with his. Hanji looked up brightened and smiled at him, but something was wrong. He felt it in his gut. And he had a guess.

“Hey!” Hanji said, handing him one of the horrendous drinks and just because he felt something off with her Levi took it without a remark but eyed it suspiciously anyway.

“The hell is this?”

“Strawberry and mango flavoured mocha.”

He made a face. “Is it going to kill me?”

“Don’t think so,” Hanji replied, adjusting her glasses. “But it might cause some bowel problems.”

“Duh.”

She smirked and gestured to the road. “Shall we?”

They started to walk side by side, with occasional, welcomed wind and early spring flowers dancing around them. The air smelled fresh, a mix of jasmine and rosemary. The only thing that destroyed the whole atmosphere was the catastrophe of a “drink” he held in his hand. After merely taking a sip, he felt a shiver travelling down his spine. “Why are you wasting your money on these things?”

Hanji, who had been drinking her own with a surprising appetite, stared at him innocently from the corner of her eyes, straw still between her lips. And she gulped before answering, “It makes me happy.”

“Torturing me makes you happy?”

“No, I like the way you look each time you take the first sip.” She laughed, and it filled his ears pleasantly. If the summer had a sound it would sound like her laughter. “You look like you are about to step through a portal.”

He snorted, “And find myself in the middle of the Trojan War?”

Hanji gasped, delighted. “You’re reading it?”

“Told you I would,” Levi said tersely, taking an accidental sip to hide his face and shivering instantly. “Fucking hell, Hanji. This is awful.”

“Which book are you at?” Hanji asked vibrant and excited. And happy. She was smiling brightly when Levi turned to face her. Funny how something abstract could feel like the touch of silk on his skin.

“Ten,” he said quietly, then cleared his throat. “Just finished the ninth.”

“Oh, so you visited Achilleus.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Such a brat.”

Hanji let out a boisterous laugh. “He knows how to hold a grudge.”

“He sure does.”

“You don’t like him?”

“I don’t really have feelings for fictional characters, Hanji.”

She put a hand on her heart, dramatically. “That’s tragic.”

“The only thing tragic here is this thing I am holding,” Levi said, holding the accused drink at arm’s length, away from himself.

“You’ll get over it eventually.”

He dropped his hand to his side and stared ahead. The feeling from earlier hadn’t left, it lingered in his stomach. And he wanted to give her time to decide, to tell him when she was ready to, but he wasn’t patient enough for that.

“So,” he started, hesitant. “How—”

“He didn’t come.”

It took him a second to register what she meant. And when it all settled down it filled him with unstoppable rage. “What do you mean he didn’t come?”

Hanji shrugged as if it was no big deal. As if she wasn’t ditched on the second date with some asshole that told her he liked her like two fucking weeks ago. “Exactly what it sounds like,” Hanji responded to his stare, her eyes calm, contrasting his own. “He sent me a text.”

“And what the fuck did that text say?” He asked, almost spitting. He couldn’t stand the fact that a foolish boy who didn’t even deserve a second of her attention managed to hurt her. It made him want to punch something. Preferably that bastard’s face.

“That he didn’t enjoy my company as much as he thought he would.”

Levi fished for his phone inside his pockets with shaking hands. “Give me his number.”

“What are you gonna do with it?” Hanji asked, puzzled.

“I’ll send him the address to the nearest zoo,” he spitted. “Where he can find good company.”

To his astonishment, Hanji started to laugh but for once the sound couldn’t help him calm down. “Relax! It’s no big deal.”

“I’ll give him a chance to meet his forefathers,” Levi went on, darkly, ignoring her. “Before I send him to hell to see his origins.”

Seemingly, Hanji couldn’t stop the giggles coming out of her mouth. She doubled over, trying to regain control of her breaths. “That’s enough,” she said panting and wiping her eyes as she straightened. Her cheeks were red, and her eyes glistened. “I’m fine, you know.”

His stomach twisted. He wanted to believe it so desperately. But deep down he knew that being rejected affected her, that even though she never let anyone see it, it bothered her like a little bug on the back of her brain. And he wished he had the power to hold the broken pieces of her heart and soul with his hands and put them all together, delicately, and firmly so that it never fell apart again.

“It’s just…” She sighed; the breath came trembling out of her mouth. “I don’t think I’m fit for love.”

His body stiffened. “What do you mean?”

“I mean all these people,” Hanji said, resuming her walk. Levi followed right beside her, watching her face intently. “They don’t see me.”

“See you?” He asked, wanting more clarification.

“Yeah, the real me. Under surface level,” Hanji explained. “The other side of the iceberg if you will.”

“Oh,” Levi said, mind blank.

And then he immediately thought I do.

I do. He wanted to tell her, to scream, to repeat until the word didn’t make any sense. I do. I do. I do see you.

Because he did, ever since they were seventeen and life was simple and plain. He saw her foolishness and her wit. Her kindness and her passion. He knew her by heart and soul. And yet…

“What does that have to do with love?” He asked instead.

“I think you can’t love someone unless you actually see them?” Hanji looked at him as if she wanted him to approve. “To see the soul maybe? It sounds ridiculous.” She laughed to herself. “The thing is you cannot let everyone see you too.”

“Then you chose to be seen,” Levi added, his heart racing inside his ribcage. He wished to grab and steady it, to will it to calm down. He felt like he was watching a fire and the only thing that saved him was a line drawn on the floor and he was close, so close to stepping to the other side.

“I guess,” she agreed, quietly. “Maybe I am just too much.”

“You are not.”

“I am huuuge,” she said, dragging the word, and opening her arms sideways. “Like an iceberg.”

“You are not an iceberg, Hanji,” Levi objected.

“Not to you?” she asked, an amused smile forming on her lips.

He paused, feeling his ears getting warmer and looked away. “Not to me.”

“Thank you, Levi,” Hanji said, with a small almost vulnerable voice. “I appreciate it.”

He nodded, silently. What more was there to say? Now that she made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with love. He had to keep living with this growing ache, like fast spreading disease, invading each and every part of his body and soul. But loving Hanji didn’t feel like a menace. It felt like living in the middle of a lake. Drowning slowly but never noticing and never regretting.

Hanji sighed loudly, and tilted her head back, staring up at the sky with no stars and no moon in sight. Only faint clouds moved lazily, adorning the pitch-black fabric stretched above. “Nothing should upset me on this lovely night.”

Nothing should ever upset you, he thought but, “You’ll cry reading the end of The Iliad when you get home,” he said.

Hanji sniffed, “This is a crime,” she told him. “You know me too well.”

“That’s why you keep buying me these murderous drinks, isn’t it?”

“If I wanted to get rid of you, I wouldn’t do it slowly, Levi. I am a merciful person. It would be quick and clean.”

“How considerate of you,” Levi told her not hiding the sarcasm behind and threw the still almost full drink along with Hanji’s empty cup to the nearest trash bin.

“That’s what friends are for,” Hanji said, smiling softly.

“Yeah,” Levi agreed, even though the word stung on his skin, sharp like a knife. “I know.”

1 year ago

Hanji’s new roommate Pieck didn’t know Levi. So, one night when she knocked on her door, leaned against the doorframe and said, “There is a grumpy, wet and short boy at the door, here to see you,” Hanji immediately understood who she was talking about.

“Levi?” she asked, surprised and she dropped her pen as she checked the clock. It was close to eleven pm. Hanji was used to his late-night visits, but he was away to visit his mother and she wasn’t expecting him to return for a few more days. He hadn’t let her know beforehand too.  

“Don’t know who it is,” Pieck said, as Hanji got up from her desk, stretching her aching back. “But he looked like he was ready to kill me when I said I couldn’t let him in.”

Hanji snorted, softly, “That’s his surface level.”

Pieck raised a brow seeming a little lost, but she didn’t question any further. Meanwhile, Hanji eyed his surroundings, her room was a complete mess. Piles of clothes, wrinkled papers, leftover snacks… everywhere. And Levi was here.

Pieck must have noticed the horrified look on her face. “I’ll let him in while you gather around.”

Hanji intertwined her hands as if praying. “You’re an angel.”

“Nope,” she said, turning around and looking over her shoulder she gave Hanji one last glance. “I’m just curious about your boyfriend and will take the information as payback.”

“But he is not my—” Hanji started to protest but she was already gone.

Sighing Hanji got to work as fast as possible. Within seconds she managed to make the room look at least decent enough for a human to live in. She even sprayed some perfume around for good measure. By the time Levi walked inside her room she was shoving one last empty chocolate packet under her bed.

“Hi!” she chirped, loudly. Yet the moment her eyes met his, her mood instantly dropped, and her stomach curled with worry.

“Hey,” Levi said. His voice was flat and clear, there was no trace in it about how he felt at the moment. And in his eyes, there were hidden emotions. A veil was drawn, and he was sheltering himself. But the veil was transparent to her eyes. She could see the hurt behind it, the boy who was curled under the windows of the empty classes, the shadows of his past lurking around him.

“Are you okay?” she asked, gently, walking closer to her friend. His hair was indeed damp, but the rain had stopped at least twenty minutes ago. He must’ve walked here instead of taking a bus or a taxi.

Levi stared into her eyes and for a moment he didn’t reply. Hanji noticed the hard line on his mouth, his lips were pressed together, and his eyes were cautious as if he was afraid to reveal too much. Or maybe he was just scared to feel too much.

His lips cracked open and there was a brief hesitation on his features before he asked, “Can I stay here tonight?”

A short breath left her lips. He wasn’t going to tell him now and she wasn’t going to insist. She nodded, accepting his silence. “Of course.”

Hanji gave him fresh clothes and waited outside her door for him to change. She felt like there was a worm crawling through her veins. Worry and curiosity were wrapped around her and the fact that she had no idea as to what happened left her feeling useless. She thought about calling Kuchel, maybe they had some kind of a fight? But she had never witnessed the mother and the son getting into serious conflicts and she couldn’t think Levi being that angry at his mother. And yet she couldn’t come up with any other reason regarding his mood. Groaning she pulled at her hair. Curiosity ate her alive, but she had to be patient. The last thing Levi needed right now was her throwing unnecessary questions at him.

She went back into the room when she decided it was safe to return. Levi was sitting on the edge of her bed, hands clasped and dropped in between his knees. His eyes were on the floor, but they seemed distant and unfocused. She could tell that his mind was somewhere else. Hanji hoped it wasn’t a place out of her reach.

She sat beside him on the bed silently and found herself in search of words yet again. A futile attempt. They had long escaped. Chewing her lower lip, she played with her fingers restlessly.

“Tell me something interesting,” said Levi abruptly without looking at her. Hanji wondered if it was because he had sensed her distress. She couldn’t tell if he wanted to relieve her or himself.

“Oh, well, umm,” she fumbled with words, searching around as if her room could provide her with some sort of intriguing story. Why it was so hard to bring those words together when they were the most needed? “About what?”

“Whatever,” he replied, curtly.

“Okay.” That wasn’t helpful but Hanji was full of interesting stories and facts. She was a treasure chest of plentiful -not necessarily useful- information. Yet seemingly the lock was broken. She couldn’t come up with anything for a while. It took her uncharacteristically long to finally say, “There was possibly more than one Homer.” Then she went on, “And some parts were probably added later to the book.”

Levi glanced at her at last, raising a brow. “That… actually makes sense.”

She grimaced, “Not interesting enough?”

One corner of his lips turned slightly upwards. “For your standards.”

Hanji laughed quietly, “Sorry, finals week. My brain is a mess.”

“That’s fine.” Levi turned his stare back to the carpet.

Great, she thought. Now she felt even worse, miserable even. He had asked for her the thing she was the best at, and she had failed him. But he wasn’t in the mood to speak. Maybe he just needs to have some sleep, Hanji reasoned. There were dark circles under his eyes as usual. Tea! Right! Fool. She slapped her forehead in her imagination and was about to rush to the kitchen when she remembered that their tea stocks were drained as of yesterday.

She was the worst friend in the whole world.

Figuring that there was nothing but sleep that she could provide her friend, Hanji got up from her bed. “Good night then,” she said. “I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.”

She waited for a few seconds for him to respond but he was still staring into the carpet. Feeling disappointed and concerned Hanji was about to turn around and leave the room when Levi suddenly grabbed her wrist and said with a voice almost timid but with a subtle resolution, “Stay with me.”

Her body locked and eyes round with shock she stared down where his fingers grabbed her wrist tightly but not tight enough to hurt. And then she moved her eyes to Levi to find him staring back at her. His dark gaze was intense and lucid with a touch of something vulnerable behind. His lips were firmly pressed.

And Hanji knew there were so many reasons for her to say no and equally as many reasons to say yes. She should say no because there was no way she could hide how loudly her heart was beating while lying so close to him. But she should say yes for she was helpless, and her hands were empty, and she had no idea how to share his pain otherwise.

And so, she accepted, with a silent nod of her head. Levi’s fingers tightened around her wrist before letting go. Hanji turned off the light while Levi got under the sheets. Her heart was wild, and her whole body was trembling, but she kept reminding herself that it was just for a night. That he needed her and there was no other way she could help that she was aware of.

Trying to steady her breath she joined Levi on the bed, laying behind him. She needed some distraction, so she focused on Levi’s back, though in the dark barely visible, it was a pretty sight. Broad and strong. The bed was narrow, she could feel his existence, the heat radiating from his body and his scent; a mix of rain, his cologne and the softener Hanji used on her clothes. She was glad she wasn’t facing him now. It would be much harder to hide how badly her body was shaking.

Minutes ticked by and the only voice that filled the room was their breaths which weren’t stable. Levi was still awake just like her. Alongside the new sensation of being in a single bed with him, there was still worry mounted in her ribcage. But she tried to push it away for tonight. If he needed time she would give it to him.

Just when her eyelids started to drop, Levi said, “He came back.”

And with that, she was wide awake, “Who?”

Levi sighed, and she felt his struggle before he finally uttered his uncle’s name, “Kenny.”

Hanji froze. Ever since the day he left, they hadn’t heard from him. “When?”

“Tonight.” He didn’t go on for a while. “I left. My mom seemed to welcome him. I couldn’t stomach seeing his face.”

Hanji could hear the resentment in his voice and feel his body stiffen. She didn’t think before putting her hand on his back to soothe the tense muscles between his shoulder blades. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t even know what to feel,” he said quietly. And Hanji thought it was the first time she heard him sound so unsure of himself. “Or what to think.”

“Then don’t,” she told him and moved her hand from his back to his chest while shifting closer to him until her chest was pressed against his back. She rested her cheek on his neck, feeling the hotness of his skin. “Don’t feel anything. Don’t think about anything.” She could feel his heart beating hard and fast on her palm. “I’m here.”

Several heartbeats later, Levi held her hand which was resting right on top of his heart. And he held it tight, pressing their hands into his chest. Hanji shuffled even closer to him, forgetting about her own gratuitous worries for now. She inhaled his scent, held his hand tight and shared his warmth and shared his pain.

Now

When Levi woke up the next day close to noon Hanji had already left.

He allowed himself a few more seconds which he laid on his side and stared at the empty bed in front of him. The sheets were made; Hanji knew how meticulous he was about tidiness. He wondered when she had woken up and left. Today was Saturday so she had no classes but somehow, he had already known that she wasn’t going to be here in the morning. A part of him had hoped that maybe this time things would be different, that maybe he would wake up next to her, her touch on his skin. But it never happened. Not even that one time he had stayed over at her place because of his sorry excuse of an uncle. Maybe he was simply chasing a faraway dream and instead of getting closer, it kept getting further away.

If he stopped chasing and started acting would things change then? What if he would be the one to ruin their friendship?

Maybe he was just thinking too much into it, Levi mused. Hanji might have been listening to that song for more than necessary and that might have been just a Freudian slip. Something her drunk mind made her say that rolled out of her tongue subconsciously.

His phone vibrated with a text notification. It was from Hanji.

Meet me at the campus

It was both ridiculous and frustrating how fast his heart started beating after reading that one sentence. It wasn’t surprising to not find her here in the morning, but he was kind of startled to receive this text. Maybe it was because she didn’t remember anything.

Sighing, Levi sent a simple Ok and got up to get ready.

If he didn’t want to pass out from overthinking, he better act quickly.  

*

Hanji was lying on the grass, under the shadow of a young tree whose leaves rustled quietly and lazily. Levi stood a couple of steps away to watch how their shadows danced on her skin, and how her hair caressed her cheeks with the soft wind. Her eyes caught the midday sun, and they shone almost hazel.

When she realized Levi was there, watching her silently she didn’t seem surprised. Rather she smiled, patting the place beside her. “Come,” she said, turning her gaze back above. “The sky is beautiful.”

There were two cups of something on the grass right next to her hips and Levi was curious about their contents but opted on obeying her for now. He lay next to her and immediately the clouds caught his eyes. They were big, white and puffy. Giant clouds. Each time it amazed him how enormous they were. The sky was infinite, yet it was also just a wide, blue surface. But the clouds had a shape, a size and they made him feel so tiny, so trivial. The way they moved, languishingly as if floating was hypnotizing. He didn’t know how much time had passed when he finally managed to carry his focus away from the clouds and to his side only to find Hanji already looking at him.

He was aware of everything, the gentle touch of the wind, the whisper of the leaves, the grass tickling his skin and the people walking past them. Yet he also didn’t seem to notice any of that, captured only by her eyes and the feelings they carried which he tried desperately to catch with bare hands.

A smile blossomed on her face. “Penny for your thoughts?”

He struggled to come up with a sarcastic comment, to brush away both his irritation and stupid anxiety. “I think you’ve been listening to that song on repeat.”

Hanji seemed startled at first, blinking rapidly but it didn’t take her long for her brain to untangle the strings and then she started to laugh. “No,” she said, shaking her head. “Just too much TikTok.”

He managed to suppress his smile. “That’s not an excuse.”

Hanji sighed, as her smile faded. “I know.” She chewed on her lower lip; her burrow furrowed with distress. “I need to tell you something.”

Instantly, his stomach reacted, curling, making him almost nauseous. But while he expected Hanji to go on and rip the band-aid in one go she straightened to sit cross-legged on the grass. Levi followed suit, trying to keep a straight face and act like he wasn’t literally living with a violent battle going on inside his head since yesterday evening.

Hanji handed him out one of the cups on the grass and when she realized Levi’s suspicious stare, “Iced tea latte,” she explained. “It’s good. I promise.”

Levi took it from her hand and gave it an experimental sip. And hummed when he tasted the slightly bitter, creamy liquid on his tongue. “Not bad,” he approved.

“Right?” Hanji smirked, appearing quite pleased with herself. After all, she did manage to find something other than tea to fit his taste.

He occupied himself with his drink, savouring the newly found pleasant taste. But when the war cries inside his head became too loud to ignore, he could hold back no longer.

 “Just tell me,” he said, plainly, curtly. Build a fortress around your heart. He thought about the walls of Troy made by the gods yet almost not strong enough to hold back an army. What was the point then? If one attacked with a weapon deadly enough to pierce through sturdy stones it didn’t matter if what they were attacking was a divine product.

Hanji stared at him as if she saw the bloody scenes in his mind. “After graduation, I will be going abroad for an internship this Fall.”

The battle raged, the cries ascended, roars mixed together until they created a rueful crescendo. The fortress was of no use as he predicted. It was useless and weak. As his voice when he managed a quiet, “What?”

Hanji was about to make a further explanation, but he had gathered enough strength to say, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

To her credit, she did look kind of guilty. “It is new,” she told him, playing with the straw of her drink and he had to push away all the thoughts about hygiene to the back of his mind. “And I was actually going to tell you yesterday.”

“And what stopped you?” he asked, trying not to sound too bitter or too offended.

Hanji paused, pressing her lips together, emotions floated in her eyes, like paper ships on ocean waves. They were delicate, he noticed, vulnerable. And he didn’t know what to do with this information. He wondered if he looked as defenceless as he felt.

“My feelings,” Hanji said, at last.

It shouldn’t be this easy, the way his heart doubled its pace and how hard it hammered against his ribcage with merely two simple words. But it was and he had long accepted the fact that Hanji had more control over his own heart than himself.

“Which are?” he pressed, unable to stay patient. He had waited long enough.

Hanji shook her head, “I can’t.” And she exhaled, a shivering breath left her lips. “You’re so precious to me. I can’t afford to lose you.”

Everything he felt blended and created a messy question mark right before his eyes. “You’re not going to lose me.”

“You don’t know that.” She hugged her knees as if she was trying to shield herself from something invisible. Her kind of fortress. “It’s easier to keep someone as a friend than a lover.”

All of a sudden, the battle stopped, the cries subdued, and his thoughts froze, swords and spears at hand. “But you said…” he started without even knowing where the sentence would go.

“I know and I meant it,” Hanji, who seemingly understood his open-ended protest, replied with a smooth, unwavering voice. “I want you as more than a friend. I need you as more than a friend.”

“But?” he asked, voice low.

“But,” she said, sighing. Her eyes were filled with pain, and it hurt him to see her like this. “It’s hard.”

It was. Long-distanced relationships had so many risks. Loving someone from that far away, without seeing them and knowing what they were doing was a big thing to commit oneself to. And Levi understood where Hanji was coming from. Friendship had boundaries but being in a relationship brought about responsibilities. Not to mention they would be new to it. Having wasted all those years for nothing. He hated the feeling of regret, yet it crawled upon his skin now and ran through his veins.

The question freed itself without giving him time to consider.  “For how long?”

“Two years at least.”

Levi closed his eyes and let the battle proceed only to realize that he had already lost it. He wanted to give her promises and tell her that he would be here, waiting for her after two years. But who knew what would happen in that period? She could decide to stay there and work as a permanent employee. If anything, he was a realist and was aware that hollow promises would merely hurt them more.

Just then he felt warm, timid lips pressing against his cheek and then Hanji rested her forehead against his. He inhaled in her scent and pondered again how safe he felt enveloped with her warmth and her mere existence. And something hot and piercing snaked inside him when he realized he would be deprived of this for at least two years to come.

“Let’s try not to ruin our friendship then,” Hanji said, softly. “At least for now.”

He managed to crack a half-hearted smile and brought his hand up to tangle his fingers through the hair on her neck. “No more murderous drinks.”

He felt her smirk in her voice rather than seeing it and tried to convince himself that for now, this was enough.

“I can’t promise that.”

[hermitfox]

Drawing this brought back so many childhood memories gosh

I‘ve been following @nerdinsandals for over a decade from the shadows now, be it more or less actively since I‘ve found her deviantart with fanart for Conway when I was still a kid. (I feel like a stalker rip. But I‘m just shy…) Weird thing how similar niche interests bring people on the internet together. Anyway, what better time to reveal my presence than on the 10th anniversary of Conway Day? I remember how on… was it 2016… anyway, that fanart of Coordinator Conway with Dusknoir in the bg drawn by nerdinsandals absolutely blew me off my feet when I saw it. So I simply had to use that design! I‘ve only been actively drawing for about a year but I‘m happy with how it turned out. I also can‘t deny that nerdinsandal‘s art journey became an inspiration to me. Hopefully I can improve more in the future

With that I wish everyone a happy Conway Day! May we be able to enjoy our niche blorbo obsessions in the future together as well! :3