#i wish i didnt live this way. i dont know how to live except to live this way.

[confusedsiewmai]

God im in so much emotional pain

[our-lady-of-mcr]

.

[crow-ur-beloved]

various jrwi headcanons because the worms in my brain (potential autism) wont shut up. no real plot spoilers except for one, but its marked :]

the suckening:

shilo is like vampire immunocompromised, which added to the pile of reasons his mom used to keep him inside the castle because she didnt want him to immediately get 37 different diseases and Die. (if vampires can have allergies then id like to think they can also get sick. i dont actually know if thats possible in the vtm system but i dont care they can in my heart)

genderfuck/genderpunk afab emizel. i feel like thats the only label he'd use, if he had to have one. i dont think hed label his sexuality because he wants to be an enigma. but he Definitely likes men.

bizley said in the qna something that can Only let me think of shilo as aromantic. maybe aro And ace... i dont remember what he said exactly aughhgh i wish i did...

shilo fidgets with his hands like all the time. his mother and uncle tried to get him to stop and sit still because it wasnt very princely and whatnot but my boy needs a fidget toy. i think hed go craaaazy with an infinity cube

i feel like me saying arthur bennett is a bisexual doesnt even count as a headcanon like i think thats just a given. i feel like itd be more surprising if i said i thought he was straight. all beautiful beautiful vampire men have to be lgbtq. its the law actually

arthur never officially broke up with mary. mans just Left one day without warning. probably left a note that said "sorry. -arthur" on it. i doubt he had it in him to say goodbye to her face or his reasoning for it (he thought hed inevitably hurt her because of what he is and what he did to the people he loved in the past, because bad luck seems to follow him everywhere... oughh he makes me ill). he definitely used finding a new lead on anya somewhere else in the country as a good reason to dip. at least, as good a reason as it couldve been for him.

maybe controversial but i 100% think arthur and magnus had a one-night stand at the beginning of their relationship, before magnus met jerome, and they never talked about it again and pretend it never happened. cannot explain how real this is to me.

riptide:

ftm chip who 100% innately knew he was a dude since the moment he could think. like when the black rose pirates picked him up, he got confused when they started referring to him as a girl at first. probably never got The Talk from them, so was Very confused when he hit puberty. Reuben reluctantly helped him steal to pay for top surgery.

since tritons live at the bottom of the ocean, they would have eyes that are far more sensitive to light to allow them to see better since little light gets all the way down there. gillion was Immediately blinded by the sun when he surfaced and still gets headaches from how bright it is in the oversea, but they've gotten better the longer he's been up there. tritons are built to adapt to all kinds of conditions, so his eyes have slowly been getting a darker bluish-purple the longer he spends above the ocean; they were originally more of a light blue-grey.

in tandem with the last one, chip thinks hes either going crazy or a bad friend because he Swears gill's eyecolor is different than last week but how could that be possible, thats not just something he can do, right? why would he be able to do that???

if gillion gets knocked onto his back without warning he does that thing that sharks do where they get paralyzed for a bit when they get flipped upside down. its scary because he can see everything but cant do anything. he also definitely forgot to tell chip and jay about this fact and scared the Shit out of them the first time it happened around them.

gillion can also change his sex like some fish can. its the reason he can lay eggs. i think this makes it safe to say genderfluid/nonbinary/generally trans gillion tidestrider is highly possible and even probable in this headcanon. what im saying is t4t fish n chips.

not to headcanon all my favs as trans but i cant help it. it is the highest honor i can bestow upon them. anyways. mtf jay ferin. ava always knew and was the first person jay came out to. jay was also 100% named jayson after her father and went by jay most of her life anyway as a nickname and just decided to stick with it instead of picking anything else. may was always very openly-supportive of her. jayson was as supportive as a generally strict, overbearing, unsupportive-in-everything father can be. jay totally came out to him and the first thing he said to her was something like, "as long as it doesnt interfere with your navy training," and may promptly kicked him under the table and made him say something nice.

kiras trans too btw. she came out before jay and helped jay discover she was trans. and that she liked women.

(spoilers for 109 and beyond) chip can't entirely remember what he looks like. everytime he focuses on the illusion of hiding that hes practically just a skeleton now, it changes just a bit. freckles in the wrong places, the wrong shade of orange for his flame tattoos, too much light in his eyes, too much muscle on his arms. jay notices it but cant bring herself to say anything. she knows the illusion is meant to keep everyone from worrying, but, everytime she sees something off about it, she just remembers what he really looks like underneath, and that somehow feels worse.

blood in the bayou:

all these bitches gay as hell. kian is pan. rands got a lot of internalized homophobia. rolan probably too. its the 80s, man.

apotheosis (haven't finished it yet so idk how true these'll be lol):

agender rumi. godbless.

also rumis a theater kid. he got the lead in every musical he auditioned for because he could literally just shapeshift. theyd make up a new identity and appearance for every role and get to know everyone on the cast and then mysteriously drop off the face of the planet as that person when the production was over and nobody would know it was them.

peter has actually tried All Kinds of things. weed. yoga. multilevel marketing schemes. you name it, big chance hes done it at least once and didnt like it. he doesnt know how he ends up in the situations to try it, either.

[sdv-confessions]

there are people keep saying sebastian is a loser while alex is some popular kid just because they look like the stereotypes of nerdy emo kid and a jock. saying this with whole my heart as a male alex liker, but sorry, you are wrong. sebastian didnt go to college but he managed to self taught coding and getting money out of it is fucking impressive. he has his own motorbike, and he has a group of friend who love and support him. he is pretty direct with his emotions and struggles once you get to know him on a certain level. and as for alex, this boy only has one friend (two, if you count emily in if thinking about the fact that he knew her through haley). he wished there were more girls in the town, but he never directly went out to talk with them besides haley,like boy what are you doing, but i kinda understand given how george was not much of a good figure good is not nice remember folks. alex did have a job, but it's more like a side gig given how his ice cream stand only open in summer and only in a certain time. and the fact that he tried to uphold his tough persona instead of opening up to anyone except dusty and the farmer, who accidentally caught him being sad, or how only after marriage he said that he never had many friends and didnt know what to do if the farmer didnt come here. that boy is a loser more than sebastian! but i love him for that <3

they are like "well sebastian lives with his parents" as if he didnt have a plan to move out. and not just him, there are many townies who are adults still live with their family like sam, shane, penny, haley and emily live with their parents before those two went travelling, etc, even his sister maru. and not to mention in some cultures, its normal to stay with your parents until you get married, hell, some households even have 2 or more generations living together. and living alone? in this economy? no fucking way my siblings in christ, saying this as an atheist

ok i know its getting too long but i also dont like how the fandom saying that alex is only good with male farmer and dismiss his sexist views towards female farmer at the beginning by saying it was because hes gay, given how there are gay men who are very misogynistic in real life. we all saw how george was when you married alex as a guy, and if you think deep enough, homophobia and sexist usually go hand in hand. like dont you look at me and tell me that peepaw doesnt have at least a sexist thought once. its good for both of them to grow out of it with both female and male farmer, but i think its worth mentioning that in male farmers route, we get to understand why alex turned out like that, as usually you would reflect some of your parents or caretakers behaviors, whether they taught it to you or you mimic them unintentionally. so i dont like anyone who hates him making alex being sexist as an engraved trait, he changed! he apologized and grew out of it later. also people who post character hate in their tags im watching you when you sleep if anything, pierre should get a fair share of hate for being sexist towards abby and caroline too, but i dont see people talk about it enough like how he acts towards the farmer and their products and stuffs

.

[iamred-iamyellow]

Every Brocedes Coded Taylor Swift Song

@formulaocean

✰ = my favs that make me sob aka the ones that are MOST brocedes coded 

Taylor Swift:

-Teardrops on my guitar

“I’ll bet she’s beautiful, that girl he always talks about”

“I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night”

-Cold As You

Fearless:

-You Belong With Me

-You’re Not Sorry

-The Way I Loved You

✰Forever & Always (piano version AUGHGHGHHG) 

-We Were Happy

Speak Now:

-Mine

“you were the best thing, that’s ever been mine” 

-Back to December 

✰The Story of Us

“miscommunications lead to fallout, so many things that I wish you knew”

“and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now”

"but I liked it better when you were on my side"

Red: 

-Red

“forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met” 

-Sad Beautiful Tragic 

-Come Back…Be Here 

1989:

-Wildest Dreams

-All You Had To Do Was Stay

-Bad Blood

-Say Don’t Go 

-Now That We Don’t Talk

-Suburban Legends

“and you kiss me in a way that’s gonna screw me up forever”

-Is It Over Now? 

Reputation:

-Don’t Blame Me 

-Look What You Made Me Do

-Getaway Car 

Lover: 

-London Boy 

-False God

“we were crazy to think, crazy to think that this could work, remember how I said i’d die for you?"

✰Afterglow 

folklore: 

-the 1

“it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one”

“you know the greatest loves of all time are over now”

-cardigan 

✰exile

“you’re not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now?”

“I'm not your problem anymore, so who am I offending now?”

“there is no amount of crying I can do for you”

“you never gave a warning sign”

-my tears ricochet 

✰invisible string 

evermore:

-coney island

“what's a lifetime of achievement? If I pushed you to the edge, but you were too polite to leave me” (except he did leave tho im screaming)

-marjorie 

-closure

“yes I got your letter” (THE PARALLELS CAUS LIKE THE LETTER LEWIS WROTE THAT NICO DIDNT GET AND TOTO HAD TO READ IT)

“I don't need your “closure””

✰right where you left me (self explanatory)

Midnights:

-Maroon 

✰The Great War (I will be making a web weave for this also I’m literally sobbing)

“It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed”

“there's no morning glory it was war it wasn't fair.”

-You’re Losing Me (ik it wasn't a part of the official album but whatever)

TTPD:

✰So Long, London (every lyric. screaming, crying, vomiting.)

-loml

-The Black Dog

“I just dont understand how you dont miss me.”

“and I may never open up the way I did for you.”

✰Chloe or Sam or Sofia or Marcus (one of my moots made a web weave about this song and you should totally go look at it here caus it's heartbreaking dhhdjsjjds)

-How Did It End?

-I Look In People’s Windows

"does it feel alright not to know me?”

“what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time”

Honorable Mentions:

-I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

“I just wanna keep calling your name till you come back home”

-Treacherous

“I just think you should, think you should know that nothing safe is worth the drive”

-cowboy like me

“and the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up”

“never wanted love just a fancy car”

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Hi,

I see you finished Monster and are quite versed in Johan. Can you help me understand the depth of his character better? I feel like many people miss the point of it. Also I'd like to know why you like him so much.

Oh, there is so much to say about him but i will try to make it short as possible.

Lets Talk About Johan;

First of all, i heard his character as some 'evil' mastermind so i wasnt really interested in his character until i experience the story by myself. I wondered why this series is popular so i decided to give a chance. I tought Johan was like Afo (from Bnha) but he turn out to be a lot like Shigaraki lol.

What makes a character depth is if they are not one-dimensional, that there is a more than how they seem from surface. And Johan fits well since he is mysterious character who is seen as angel, monster, devil, basically anything but human but they end up failing to understand him because if he was so simple, police would've catch him a long time ago.

At the start of series, he seems like your usual dangerous serial killer which fits the psychological thriller theme of story. And one of the best thing in series is his connection with Tenma. A doctor saves his life and this dangerous killer starts to view him as parent figure. A killer who see no worth in life and the doctor who thinks every life is equal, especially saving Johan is the reason he starts to to be able to live his life as a real doctor. Only to learn the child whom he saved turn out to be serial killer.

Tenma feels responsible for this and goes to journey to kill Johan. During this journey, we aldo discover some hints of what made Johan the way he is. The irony is we get the hints and a lot of characters perspective of him, everyone except Johan.

Is his messages about 'the monster inside of him' serious or not? Tenma assumes Johan is enjoying this at first, then he assumes Johan has multiple personality disorder. And later when he talked with other doctor, he assumes Johan is just playing with him because thats what most serial killers do with police. This is interesting because all of those end up being wrong. Johan doesnt enjoy from killing people. Johan doesnt have DID. Johan didnt write those messages to play with them. We know this because we later learn that he is unconciously imitate the fairytale stories he read as child.

Meanwhile, he has fanclub. A lot of murderers admire Johan because they view him as destruction Buddha. Just like others, he is seen as monster but why though? Its not like he is the only killer in the world. And personally, a lot of characters are more 'evil' than him so the thing about Johan is; he treats human life as nothing. Not just other people but also himself. Thats what makes him so scary to everyone. He doesnt even do it out of joy, money, statue. He looks like the devil in human form. He spreads misery to world. (Thats why he burns library when they said "its humanity's treasure" LoL.)

To people, that is scary. When they look at Johan, his eyes, the see someone who has no identity (nameless world). They see someone who treats life like as a game. Which explains why many people are afraid of him.

Some also want to use him, such as they want him to make second Hitler and he is like 'Nope'.

I think the main reason i love Johan is that he is like a magician. He can create a beautifull illusion. He is someone who can touch people's hearths because how well he understands them. Which is why he is seen as angel when people dont know he kills people.

This is also why he can use other killers for himself. He can see their vulnerabilities. Because even a killer is still human and they might need acceptance, to be understood by someone. Johan can give it to them. And they wish they were like Johan because they think everything would be a lot easier for them to kill others, like some kind of edgy teens. They fail to understand the person they want to be is extremely miserable.

On other hand, Johan can use his skills with curing people. Such as him waking Suk's mother, he made her remember her son again. Though he does things with ulterior motives, same skills can be used for good things. He can make people happy or miserable by little things. With a little magic or just skill.

And even though he is villain, he has very relaxing voice. He is very elegant. He listens other people. This fits perfectly well with his manipulative character.

We also never know when he is sincere or not because when you think he doesnt he actually seem to care, such as when he cried for Karl. Apperantly, tears were real. He is always in his world, its so funny when you think about he is some kind of mastermind.

Also his interaction with kids is so interesting. I think he geniuely enjoys being around them. Otherwise, why would he bother to spend time with them, why would he know so much about child's rights, why would he look for picture book for a friend? This is the same guy who encourage kids to rooftop game (and the scene where he was projecting on Milos) which is messed up. It gives me chills. His nihisilism, him viewing life as game end up resulting him expressing love as twisted.

----

Later, everything changes when Johan finds certain book in library. Basically, Johan's character doesnt necessarely stay same during the series. He changes his motives from unconciously imitating nameless monster stories to find actual monster who ruined his life. Even though he does messed up things, everything about his character makes sense with that scene. Johan geniuely believed that he is nameless monster. Johan geniuely believed that he doesnt exist.

Everything about him makes sense because it explains why he doesnt think death as much of it. Because if someone doesnt exist, they cant be killed. If someone doesnt exist, they cant be responsible for killings. He is detached from reality. Its not that he didnt feel. Its that he doesnt view it as real the way other people does. Because Johan isnt there. This is the tragedy of Johan's story. He doesnt have name. He doesnt have identity. He feels as he doesnt exist.

The famous 'monster' tape everyone after is about a child unable to see the difference between fairytale story and reality. 'My name is Johan. My name is Thomas. My name is Hans. My name is Otto.' He is them but he is neither of them. Johan views Anna as his half, as Anna is the real one and he is fake copy. He killed people as child, not because he is evil but because he geniuely thought that monster is coming after them. He cant even separate his own memories from Anna's. He takes all bad memories both to protect Anna and other reason is to become someone. He wanted to have identity, he wanted to live so bad but he didnt have on his own so he took it from others, just like the nameless monster.

This is also why Johan is also affected by Tenma's saving him. He probably wondered Tenma wouldnt save him, if he knew he was monster. He was kinda right because Tenma regretted his decision but he was wrong because Tenma couldnt shoot him and he saved him the second time. He showed him that he has right to live, he has right to exist, and that he has a name so he is not monster. This is why Johan can open up his worst insecurities. And they really give father-son energy and i think thats cute. I am glad that even after years Tenma visists him at hospital.

And we can guess what happened at the end thanks to Grimmer (one of the characters who deserves better), 'The monster become human at the end'. and Lunge said that if he were not a human being, he would not leave a trace, only humans leave a trace. For the first time we see Johan leave his mark. So Johan is no longer a monster, just a human. Also, his real name doesnt matter, he is Johan to us/all.

I love the messages of story. There is a monster inside all of us, but we can contain/heal it and after all, we are all human, our lives are equally valuable and stealing a person's name is the biggest crime, so having a name is very important. Story still has certain writing issues but generally, it is good story. Johan is well written character because his story is such a journey. We cant even really appreaciate the story without fully understand Johan. Every scene he is in meaningfull. And personally, i think his story is very empathic because of how tragic he is. Also sometimes he looks so funny and weird which makes him entertaining. He is such a good character.

Though you are right, anon. Many people still misinterpret the story, especially his character but anyway, there are still people who makes great analysis about him. Such as this analysis made by @cyanogoth.

Its ironic that most/some main villains have the most interesting and sempathic backstories, even though they are supposed to be 'big evil' or something but in reality, they are not really.

Anyway, he is fun to think about, i love him, lol.

[httpiastri]

also omg spill the tea on meeting the drivers in spa!!! (only if you want to ofc, ignore this if you don’t 🙏)

aaaaaa okay its time!!!!!! dont grill me if my opinions don't match someone else's, i tried to be as kind as i can 🙏 gonna divide this into categories bcs i met some ppl who are not currently on the f2/f3 grids aaaaa but yeah here we go 🤭

(i saw and was close to pretty much all drivers, but im only including the ones that stood out to me in certain ways here 😊 in order of their racing numbers !!)

f3 !!!

dino beganovic - okayyy soooo. this and paul's will go kinda in the same direction… like i was not surprised to see him act not like super happily lol. i understand! when around fans or just people he doesn't know too well, he was not very excited. but when he was talking to jamie (ollie's... idk what he is? manager ish?), he was that cute happy self he can be! but most of the time, it was the dino we get to see in most prema videos from this year (like the "how well do you know your teammates" one) where he's just…. idk :/ dont blame him tho, im sure he's a great guy once you get to know him!!

gabriele mini - honestly i feel like i barely saw him, except when he and his gf were leaving 😭 welp. but he seemed happy to carry around his trophy!!

arvid lindblad - saw him already on thursday and was shocked both because i couldn't believe my eyes (it's him!! he actually exists!!!!!) and bcs he was much shorter than i had anticipated 😭 sorry arvid

sami meguetounif - i didn't see him around a lot but i saw him on the friday helping his team pack up the tent (carrying big things and such), while all other drivers seemed to not really care (from what i could see)(not just trident, but all teams). respect !!!!!!

tim tramnitz - i knew he was tall but he looked even taller irl!!!! i was so shocked, i felt so tiny

ollie goethe - seemed really happy and lowkey surprised when fans wanted to take pics with him 🥺 had a terrible haircut tho lmao i felt so bad for him... but he seemed so sweet all weekend!!! rlly wish i had talked to him aaaaaa

sebastian montoya - saw him around a lot talking to all kinds of drivers, seems very social butterfly-y :) he seemed very happy after the feature, and he seemed to definitely bring up pepe's mood too because they were talking and joking around for a long time 🥺 his sister (paulina) is also even more gorgeous irl omfg i didn't even think that would be possible…. like we always talk about how amazing she looks in pics but she was so so gorgeous irl (sadly didn't get to see her interact with nikita but 💔 i'll live ig)

luke browning - saw him tons and !! why is he so handsome ?!?!?!! genuinely fell in love all over again. what even. like i keep constantly thinking back to the eye contact we shared and im just. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 seemed sweet with fans too, not super energetic but agreed to pics and such. wish i had shown him my browning bracelet or asked him to sign my sm shirt but i was too shy 💔

christian mansell - saw him get really happy when fans recognized and talked to him, i wanted to show him my mewsell bracelet but didn't have the courage 💔 but sweet and happy as usual!! no surprises there

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

f2 !!!

victor martins - actually dont think i saw him all weekend 😭 idk how i managed that

zak o'sullivan - i saw him a few times, he seemed like a bit down ?? very understandable considering how he had glandular fever ?!?!?!?!!! poor boy :( but god did he look good despite it lmao

ollie bearman - very tall and definitely very popular, always ppl waiting to take pics with him lol! didnt speak to him and wasnt very close to him either but he seemed smiley and happy :) tbh i think i saw jamie more than i saw ollie himself ?? lmao

kimi antonelli - tiny!! and the hair is so so curly!!!! he was actually cuter irl, dont understand how he can do that but yeah. also very popular, and was very happy and kind when fans wanted pics hehe

zane maloney - think this guy had like a magnet attached to me or something because i saw him everywhere all the time 😭 like even when there were no other f2 drivers left, he was there… seemed sweet, his freckles are really cute irl too :)

jak crawford - so so tall!!! and the hair looked even better irl oh my god

juan manuel correa - was a second away from asking him for an autograph but he started talking on the phone at that exact moment 😶 seemed so sweet tho!

gabriel bortoleto - aka bortolotti as the commentators said 😐 saw him chatting with a bunch of different drivers, very much a social butterfly like sebas (or is it just because he's very liked in the paddock? likely both). wanted to go up to him when he was talking to luke (they stood outside their hospitality for a long time just talking) and ask for autographs on my sm tshirt (and to tell them that i loved their appearances on the pod) but was too nervous shdjdhdj

enzo fittipaldi - he had the cutest interaction ever with his gf, i nearly melted at the sight of them 🥺 and big bro was there supporting him all weekend too which was cute lol

paul aron - the driver i think most ppl are gonna read and ignore all other drivers lol. i only saw him on the friday and… well….. i wasnt surprised because i had not expected him to be the most open and excited etc. 🤷‍♀️ like he did agree to take pics and such! he put on a little smile for the fans! but there was nothing extra, which i understand. i think we all know the kind of expression he puts on and how "neutral" he looks at most times? like, when he's not around a close friend etc then he seems a little cold. to me, i feel like it just makes his smiles much more valuable in some way!! he wasnt very smiley even with karl or ralf, ig maybe he was focused on qualifying, but he didnt give anything extra and i dont blame him for that. still owns my heart !!!! <33 and i think that the difference from dino is that he seemed more focused and more ig neutral than cold like dino. paul didnt seem neither happy nor mad etc, just blank. 😌 (but god did he look SO GOOD, his hair was so light and my heart wanted to jump out of my chest istg. he looked so so good that i was too shy to even look too much at him 😭)

is*ck h*djar - pls i dont wanna say what i actually think but. his mom was so sweet 😭 my dad (who, for context, does hobby photography) held his camera aimed to the campos truck door in case pepe would come out, but she came out instead and like apologized and stuff for being in the way? so cute :((

pepe marti - 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 how do i even begin to describe him? when there aren't enough words in the entire world? the most gentle and sweet person ever actually, he seemed so tired and just done with the weekend when i talked to him but he still made time for me and tried to stay optimistic. sweetest boy ever <33333333 (i actually still cant really believe i met him and talked to him. like my brain still short-circuits a bit when i think about it. he was just truly an angel and i miss him so much <//3 i also cried a ton after that lol but he didn't see it so that's okay)(also his hands look even bigger irl 😁 sorry gtg)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

former drivers/others !!!

fred vesti - like 10 minutes after the gp had finished, i just happened to accidentally run into him? like he was just heading out of the gate i was going into and so i stopped and gasped and just!!!!! and no one around me even looked at him (we were walking around general admission yk, just a big crowd all heading out on the track) which made me really sad but it was so cool to see him irl!!! he was taller than i had expected awww and so pretty

ralf aron - the only sentence that's still swirling around in my head: "is it possible to fall in love at first sight if you're already a fan?"....... because i think i fell in love 🫠🫠 when i tell you he was gorgeous, i mean it on a NEW LEVEL. like im obsessed. i was obsessed before but now im obsessed^2. actually insane. and he has the exact same voice as paul omg i would not be able to tell them apart irl. i love him so much, please help

adrian campos (jr) - sorry for including two team principals but 😭 idk where i get my shyness and social anxiety from because my dad has some kind of talent with people. he talks to everyone and everyone like him ??? anyways so he just randomly went up to the campos team principal and asked about pepe and they had a short but very friendly discussion 😭 and then he even came up to my dad later for new pepe updates lmao so he was a really sweet guy!!!

rene rosin - i didnt speak to him, saw him around a lot tho, but pt 2 of "my dad collecting team principals"…. my dad went to the f3 paddock and came back to tell me that he talked to "some prema dude" about dino's car… the convo went my dad: "is dino's car perfect now?". prema dude: "perfect for what?!". dad: "perfect for winning, of course!". prema dude: "yes, of course!!" and they had laughed and joked around and what not. i thought it was a funny interaction but didnt think more about that. until a while later, my dad pointed at rene and went "there's my friend from before!!" and i just ?!? you asked RENE if dino's car was good????? so yeah thumbs up to rene for being a funny dude 😁

sacha fouquet - sorry for including this but he also looked very good irl 😶 alsoooo like when i was hurrying to the f3 feature (i was running very late and wanted to be there for the start), i had to go under this tunnel to get from the paddock to the grandstands?? like a pretty narrow tunnel, only like 2-3 ppl width... and guess tho were heading to the paddock right when i was rushing away? all of the prema performance/race engineers! lovely timing! because they're all so so cool and made me so so so nervous 😭 (and the way i was just having to pretend like i haven't seen them all in 100 vids and even made gifs of them lmao what)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

gold star to anyone who made it this far ⭐️ sorry for the random yapping lol and for saying everyone looked better irl but it is true!!!! this isnt proofread so i apologize for any mistakes etc, pls feel free to ask if anyone has any questions... <3<3

[adidegmez]

spn s15 spoilers

s15 ep1(back and to the future)

one last time, the road so far. the demon is funny. i love big brother dean. their lat scene was awesome. we got work to do, this Show is going to kill me. this is the last season. their story will end. probably with a sad ending. i dont want to say goodbye.

s15 ep2(raising hell)

ketch! hi ketch. he knows how to make an enterance. rowena and ketch? rowena cared about jack. amara, i didnt think we would see her. kevin, ive missed you. where is jack, he was in the empty what is he doing now? we started saying goodbyes with kevin. and this will go on. i hate goodbyes.

s15 ep3(the rupture)

i miss crowley. ketch died. They're slowly removing everyone from the story. We're nearing the end. and now rowena. rowena is complicated, i love her. i thought rowena would want sam to kill her so that she could e the queen of hell or something like that. maybe she can return as queen of ell that would e nice. adam is still in the cage. dean, why are you so mad at cas? cant you forgive him? i wouldnt want their story to and like this but dean sam and cas theyre alive. there are 17 eps left. things will go bad. i hope they can get a happy ending, i hope they will all live but i dont think they will.

s15 ep4(atomic monsters)

i thought i saw benny. we got him and lost him in a minute. dean is gorgeous(i had to say it, he is always gorgeous). i love seeing deans smile, sam and cas too but dean is different, he is my favorite. becky, wow, she has a family? i would love to see team free will just doing laundry and talking with eachother without worrying about monsters. im happy for becky. becky youre gonna ruin winchesters life. poor boy it wasnt his fault but if he cant control it he has to die. if only there could be another way. Did Jensen sing the song? If anyone knows the name of the song, can you tell me? dean is hopeful we need that but Chuck is not gone. and he is going to ruin things. he will make the winchesters suffer, just because he enjoys it and doesnt like the winchesters anymore. and thats why i hate him

s15 ep5(proverbs 17:3)

why is sam having those dreams? is Chuck messing with his head? everyone is confused about deans pictures but he looks the same maybe a little bit older but same look. he even has the same hair. sam is the one WHO changed he look very different especially his hair. that doesnt make any sense everyone is suprised at deans not sams? lilith?!! only thing thet can kill the god (except jack i think) is gone. nice there is a link they can use that link. you were never free dean. i wish amara ould help them. maybe se will help them. but they need jack.

s15 ep6(golden time)

now eileen. Chuck is trying to break the winchesters. Dean doesn't seem to care because he's tired of playing Chuck's games and there doesn't seem to be any way they can beat Chuck right now. If they can find a way, Dean will go back to his old self. and they will beat Chuck. together, team free will (2.0 maybe jack will come too). what happened to banes twins. will we see them again? eileen is okay. well at least we have one good thing. Chuck is messing with cas now.

s15 ep7(last call)

dean is amazing, jensen is amazing. i love when he sings. he was happy at that bar, i love seeing him happy. it was good to see him happy in this last season, i hope we can see them happy more. sam cant die. they can beat Chuck but they still need help(maybe jack can help them)

s15 ep8(our father, who aren't in heaven)

they finally remembered adam. i love donatello but i miss kevin. hello rowena! i miss crowley, im glad she is the one whos in charge. i love rowena. adam is out of the cage. eileen and sam could be together. Chuck will kill eileen, right? Dean, you shouldn't still be mad at Cas, we're getting close to the end and you two shouldn't stay on bad terms anymore. i want jack back, when is he coming? okay, i hate Chuck. i used to love him when he was just a prophet but as god no i dont like him. he just watched all of them suffer and enjoyed it. and he is stil hurting them. he is a monster. i like this Michael. thanks to cage and adam he is better now. adam is in a better situation than the others. purgatory, i hope we can at least see benny.

s15 ep9(the trap)

of course chuck was behind all of this. benny is dead. when someone dies in purgatory where would they go? i thought they would born again in purgatory. dean finally forgave cas. No, this ending definitely wouldn't happen. Even if Sam and Dean had turned into monsters, they wouldn't have become monsters. They wouldn't have fought Bobby and Jody. They would have let them kill themselves. Cas is getting the mark. I hope this doesn't end badly like Dean's. jack!!! yes. why is billie doing this? idc Shell bring jack back. and he'll beat god. how can the light be bad? if hes bad, how can there be balance?

s15 ep10(the heroes' journey)

do they have bad luck or something? its Chuck isnt it? i heard some people say, garth didnt named his kid dean because he knew sam would name his kid dean and this makes sense to me. at least nothing bad happened to garth and his family. yeah they cant be normal. it was funny to see them like that but this isnt WHO they are.

s15 ep11(the gamblers)

hi jack! you finally came. my heroes. they are going to save the World. with cas and jack.

s15 ep12(galaxy brain)

I had forgotten about Kaia. Jack now has powers but he won't be able to use them. Kaia will be a problem. i hate Chuck. he is bored so he is destroying worlds. he needs to go. i loved old dean more.

s15 ep13(destiny's child)

when i watched about scoobynatural, i thought team would travel through different universes. for at least one season we couldve just watch them travel have fun save people but no they cant have fun more than one episode. if someone would help jack he can rule instead of Chuck. jack doesnt have a soul but he is good. i wish he had his soul. i loved meg. jack got his soul back, finally.

s15 ep14(last holiday)

i love deans reaction. cant they live like this? they are happy. of course they cant, Chuck wouldnt let that happen. Jack began to speak his father's language:) . dean, the birthday cake was nice. i love them.

s15 ep15(gimme shelter)

dean lied again.first to other kaia now amara. i hope he can keep his promise so he wouldnt be lying. jack will sacrifice himself. hopefully cas will find a way.

s15 ep16(drag me away (from you))

i hate seeing winchesters fight, especially when it's so close to the end. I hope they can be back to normal before this is all over.

s15 ep17(unity)

jack's not family? dean how could you say that he is your kid, he is a winchester. i love amara. i hope jack and amara can spend time with eachother. i hate Chuck. he manipulates everyone. it was Chuck all along. if only dean didnt lie to amara. she was nice she was trying to help but now she is dead. now jack is dying again.

s15 ep18(despair)

i want to say jack cant die but i cant be sure of anything. the story is ending in 3 episodes. billie didnt change she always wanted this. okay jack is alive nice. since this is the ep i can say it. cas will die in this ep and i know it. i knew it for a while i hoped this day would never come but here we are. this will be the day i learn this storys ending. i hate billie too. billie left her toy. does that mean theyll reap god and hell die like that and billie read it so she left the weapon to kill Chuck. i love Charlie. she was happy. eileen is gone. i thought maybe she and sam could be together. i love donna. i love garth. i love jody and the girls. i love bobby. Charlie bobby donna i thought they were safe, theyre gone now. i know how this will end cas will summon empty it will kill death and cas. i hope this wont happen but it will. cas will die. their story will end. cas is gone. and he didnt day goodbye to sam and jack. he saved dean. cas is gone.

s15 ep19(inherit the earth)

what is happening to jack? how can they beat God? how can they win? i hate Chuck. he killed miracle. Michael! adam is gone too. i didnt think we would see Michael again. and i didnt think i would be happy to see him but i am. there may be hope yet. maybe they can do something together. i cant deans reaction to lucifer was funny but i cant laugh. he thought cas was alive he thought he came bak and it wasnt cas he saw lucifer. i never thought we would see lucifer. i love lucifer when he is not serious or when he isnt trying to end the World. so he is good for now. i hate lucifer again. yes! Michael killed lucifer, i cant believe it. Michael betrayed them. i liked him. i cant trust anyone but team free will 2.0. i hate Chuck. i would take that ending, i would. they won but hey lost everything but they won and theyre together except cas. there is still one ep left. and evertones back. this is not the perfect ending because cas is not here but its a good ending. if only it was the end. because they are alive. they live. this felt right but why is there another episode. i hope we just see them grow old and live their lives but we wont. i know we wont. i just wish we could. i dont want to watch next ep. i know that ep broke everyone. i know how it ends. but why this should have been the ending. this felt right it wasnt complete but it felt right. this couldve been the ending why make us suffer more? of course i dont want it to end but if the story ending i would want it to be like this. this i want to say perfect but its not cas is gone but it was okay. im not ready to watch the next ep. but here we go one last ep. their story is ending here.

s15 ep20(carry on)

what happened to carry on? why didnt it play. i wanted just one thing i hope it at least plays in the end. im okay with just wathing them live their life without a big bad guy or something. why? why? why? it was always sam and dean, always. why end it like that? they were happy they were together they were both alive. i dont want to say it but dean is gone. sam is alone. bobby, hi! cas is alive?! that what they deserved as heaven. but dean shouldve had more time with sam. but im not going to complain they all can be together again. tahnks to jack and cas. yes this ending break me but it was beautiful. in the end they are happy and they are together forever. i just wish we couldve seen at least cas and jack.

this story was beautiful 2 brothers together with the help of their frinds and family they saved the World. and they got the ending they deserved it was meant to be like this dean would die and sam would live for everyone WHO died. spn writers i think they gave us a gift with jack, they made heaven a good place they made heaven what it was meant to be. and thanks to them and jack winchesters and everyone we cared about is happy. anyway im glad i witnessed their story for 15 seasons i laughed and cried with them. they mean so much to me all of them.

i dont want to say goodbye so this is a see you later because ill be seeing them. ill always remember them. i love all of them. i love dean sam cas jack bobby mary john kevin Charlie jody donna crowley rowena and the others WHO helped winchesters WHO loved winchesters.

im really happy im a part of this fandom. ill never leave here. im looking forward to see spn stuff. so

see you later

[doeyedangel]

Ohhh do gush more!!! That sounds so exciting, happy for y'all ^-^

HEHEHE AAAA THANK YOUU it's so hard bc i dont even know where to start,, theres just so much to love and gush about my angel Q~Q

I always think about this time in class when my professor asked what the happiest memory of my life is, and i just could not come up with an answer, even a fake one. I've spent a lot of my life being very sad and lonely, and also thinking that i deserved to feel that way and that it would never change, but that it didnt matter because i wouldnt be here for very long anyways. Of course theres been moments ive felt happy in my life, but my boyfriend pointed out that it seems im pretty detached and dissociated a lot of the time.

I don't know how to truly express it in words, but meeting my boyfriend for the first time and being with him for that week in july made me feel the happiest ive ever felt in my entire life combined. For the first time in as long as i could remember, i felt like i was alive, and that life was worth living, and the amount of love and happiness i was feeling made me realize, ah, so this is how life is meant to feel.

It was almost scary, how happy he made me, and thinking this is where my life peaked and it would only go downhill from here. But it's not true. Every single day of that week, we could not get enough of each other and found more and more to love about each other. We were both so afraid that when we saw each other for the first time, the other person hate would hate us or get tired of us, but literally every single second of the entire week we were inseparable, and it was like nothing else in the world existed or mattered except us.

It made me realize i want to nurture that precious love with everything i had. I want to work hard to build a better future for myself and for us, when previously i never thought a future was in my sight. I want to live. I want to be happy. I want to accept love into my life. I dont want to deny myself happiness any longer. I want to heal. I want to grow. I want to grow with him.

So yeah i was thinking if my professor asked that same question now, my answer would undoubtedly be the first time i got to be with my boyfriend. But i also think every single moment in the future from now on with him will continue to top the previous moment, and fill me with a new happiness and love ive never felt before or even thought was possible. He gives me the kind of love and reassurance and comfort that makes me think how glad i am that i stuck around and got to not only meet him, but to get to love him, and be loved by him. I never thought i was, but i know now i am the luckiest girl alive. I truly think i saved up all my wishes and good luck to get to be his ☆～（ゝ。∂）he's my dream boy come true~☆

Also!!!!!!! We got engaged so he's actually my fiancé hehe :3c

[lawtistic]

my ranking of mystic messenger main outfits except i know nothing about fashion and have really bad opinions

10; Ray

minor spoilers ahead also i dont know how to work tumblr apparently so the keep reading is going after the first ranking label

i have more to say under this im just currently mentally absent right now

what the fuck is that. what. did he forget what century we are in? i like the magenta on him but girl who let you leave your cell looking like an elizabethan

i prefer ray over saeran but not if hes wearing this because to ellys smelly ass litterbox and back i will burn that ruffled collar if it the last thing i ever do in my life

9; Casual & Deep Story V

why is bro built like a stripper pole??? hes just unnaturally long and its disturbing to a point that i cant not take it into consideration even if this is an outfit ranking

that haircut is not it for you man and get new sunglasses i know why you have them but pick something else theres something off

the outfit is so overwhelmingly basic and void of color and its really a spoiler for how hes blind because he could not have consciously put this together

8; Yoosung

again hes built like a stripper pole but to a much lesser degree

ive always felt uncomfortable looking at yoosung and his big beady eyes. do not get me wrong i love yoosung but i always feel like he knows my sins

those shoes are hideous, get rid of them. get a better haircut because this one does not make me feel any better about him and its so horrenously big that i know his hair is full of secrets

the shirt is fine, i guess, and i like the jacket, i also have nothing to say about the pants. i like the color palette but thats it. i would have ranked it higher if he didnt give me carpal tunnel with a single glance

7; Jumin

i have little to nothing to say about this. its a basic suit

i like the little bit of purple because thats his color and its cool

his legs are oddly skinny and long in comparison to the rest of him tho and its making it to where i want to classify him as built like a stripper pole but its just his legs so i cant

6; Jaehee

same with Jumin but she's less basic due to the accessories and the tights

i fucking live for those tights. those are great tights. people need to talk about her tights.

i have nothing else to say except justice for jaehee kang's tights i love those on her

5; Zen

he was originally switched with jaehee but then i realized hes wearing his own damn logo and i could not ignore that

only he would wear his own logo on his jacket like that and pose in the such a way to flex it the best he possibly could. i didnt even realize he had a logo but hes literally wearing it what

the rest of the outfit is bland and mid but wow hes wearing his own logo

also rat tail

4; Another Story V

he looks physically functional!! wow!!

this is such an upgrade, i love the haircut on him now he looks like a wet dog and its amazing

the outfit is kind of mid but it looks better on him and its still okay i would let him leave the house in this

3; 707

by most standpoints this outfit isnt that fantastic and hes only this high because i said so

its overall kind of basic but i like the hoodie and i love his funky glasses and for some reason cross necklaces make people hotter despite the fact im wiccan

the jeans are so... eh? but you cant really put anything better with this??? im a certified jean hater but i literally cannot think of anything else to put on him instead

also those shoes are fucking horrendous

2; Vanderwood

this is why i have bad opinions because i like leopard print. fight me.

this is such a fancy suit that i have nothing negative to say about it

you can tell hes a whore just by looking at him. i wish he had a route

1; Saeran

ah yes i have one alter in last place and the other in first. this isnt that funny i just think its ironic

"youre biased!!! you dress like this youre so biased!!!" yes i am. i am so biased. why do you think 707 is number 3?

the leather jacket is iconic as well as the black and red combo

the bracelet and??? choker thing??? what is that??? looks very nice on him and i like the tattoo (even if it means something i do not like)

"where is rika?" between my steel knuckles would you like a visit

[commander-wame]

expaaaansion update thoughts ( SotO spoilers) in no particular order

peitha ily forever

i wish there was more character building/connection. i don't mind taking commander/wayfinder away from their regular group and putting them in a new and unfamiliar dynamic, but seeing as zojja was a big selling point for the expansion n now she's just memory wiped and barely even present in the bagground.... ***eh***. :(

nayos is a very cool and pretty place. i like the events! exploration is neat as well. i really don't mind using story to help explore, even if the events-meter thingy is grindy at times.

that said ^ i am however worried that this Otherworldly Realm of Dreams that could Impact Tyria so much will just be confined to one map. and then... that's it. i mean i was really looking forward to more Cantha but instead we just ,, don't explore those implied plotlines or areas? the story feels pretty rushed :c

i miss tyria. i love tyria. i REALLLLY love tyria, tyria is so cool and diverse and grand with so much to see and so many stories to explore. nayos is cool but man do i love tyria. i want to know how everything is effecting tyria, IF anything is affecting tyria orz. the dragons arent/werent the only thing going down in tyria!!! theres so much there!!

but also getting whisked away to another dimension and not knowing What Else Is Up is also pretty cool. (but man. i LOVE tyria)

i DO like commander/wayfinder back in the role of sidekick/attack dog. i loved it with trahearne and i love it with peitha.

frustrated huff. im pretty satisfied with this expansion so far but also im not used to settling for 'pretty satisfied' when it comes to gw2, personally. i know they can't continue the way they used to, with long expansions and content-filled living world eps. but even if the living world ep was small, they usually still managed to pack a LOT of stakes into them!! i really hope they round the story off well, but with there being another expansion in the works already... hhhh...

i really wish we spent more time discussing and exploring the fractals introduced in the beginning of the expansion.

actually, i think what i really miss is taimi (or anyone) sending us on our way to collect every bit of data possible in every corner of a new map, with fun dialogue to accompany it.

i miss the characters we got to know in the first bit of the expansion. man first i dont get to see the guild, then i dont get to see zojja, now ive only goth Peitha and Galrath. i love you Peitha and Galrath 💕. but where's our buddies :( yeah i know they explained. but. hrmrmff.

like idk i was really expecting we'd get to spend more time with zojja at least, even when memory wiped. you're telling me being stuck with your old friend/coworker in a mysterious demon dream dimension while your old friend/coworker remembers nothing about the bond you two had except that you two had it at all doesnt sound like grounds for amazing dialogue?? cmon!!!!!!

i think thats all for now ! thanku for reading my wall of text (i didnt mean to dwell on negatives sm bc theres still quite a lot i really like!! but i just. know what gw2 can be at its best. and if gw2's best can't happen anymore then im still really happy ive got the best to replay whenever i want)

[irrigos]

OKAY im gonna talk about the thing in mask of the rose thats been consuming my thoughts. For people who might know the scene I'm talking about, it's something Ivy tells you, and the game keeps giving you options to stop the conversation because it is, genuinely, pretty disturbing. its got horror elements that have been in FL before, but never in this particular way, and as i said in my last post, seeing the content warnings will probably give away the broad strokes. im gonna put them in the tags, and hopefully if you have them filtered, then you wont see this at all? idk. i genuinely am sorry if you see this and didnt want to, but i have things i wanted to say about it

okay so in mask of the rose, Ivy gets really into doing Hallowmas stuff, accepting peoples confessions and secrets, and occasionally doing stuff to their memories (i think there was something in Zubmariner where theres a port made up of peoples regrets?? it might be connected to that, but i never played zumbariner. it might also be something Midnighter adjacent. or it might be its own thing!! i just dont know)

Ivy can tell you about a confession she received, which is incredibly disturbing. To make it quick: a womans child died, and times being hard as they are, she ate it. But then David returned from the dead fully intact, and everyone learned that death isnt permanent. Ivy had to remove this womans memory of what she'd done

like i said, while FL as a franchise has included (maybe too much?) cannibalism, and certainly a decent amount of child death, it's never been... like this before. it was disturbing in a way nothing else ever had been in any of the games

...so is it bad to say that i kinda liked it?

cannibalism has come up in fallen london often, but its usually kind of flippant about it imo. like, it's a thing that debauched rich people do sometimes, or starving zailors do, or deranged cultsits do, but not people like US. random women in london dont get that desperate!!! until they do.

and when cannibalism appears in the games, its usually written so... idk distantly? that i really never feel much of anything for it, except almost bored. most of the time when it shows up, im like "wow cannibalism. again. how original 🙄 pretty sure thats the only horrific twist fbg even knows exists". i dont think it's bad, the way its usually written. it's not like i even WANT ever lurid detail, and i think it would be pretty bad for me and for the writers to do that. but the side effect is that, for me personally anyway, it never really has the weight i think they probably want it to

but in mask of the rose? its a visual novel, so youre not given that same kind of distance you get in fallen london. it affected me in a way that other, similar horrific moments very much did not. I mean, i played all of seeking and i just thought it was boring for the most part!!!!

i also think it really gets at the horror of "you cant die in the neath". i mean, this woman did something horrible and taboo out of desperation, and then had to learn that it was also entirely unnecessary. she could have just waited! how could she possibly live with herself, having done this? but also she cant die! what option is there for her, other than to excise the memory entirely?

and also i think it emphasizes why cannibalism would be especially taboo and especially horrific in the neath. if death is rarely permanent, i would think defiling someones corpse would be seen as especially abhorrent

anyway. it was a moment of pure horror and i kind of liked that it was in the game. its a little tonally out of step with the rest of motr, tho, lol. but it kinda makes me wish theyd leaned more in on the horror of the fall. you as the player character want for very little, because you always have food and a place to sleep, and the Masters are (allegedly) organizing and distributing resources. but also... i mean clearly thats not benefitting everyone, and i think thats genuinely really interesting

.......... although i sure would like it if i could stop thinking about that scene lol. the game kept being like "you dont have to read this" and i did not listen. ain't that just the way!!!!

[madame-cookie]

janthir wilds thoughts

im having a lot of fun. i dont really have a lot of nice things to say about it except the maps are fun to play in and the housing is cool. but that being the case i dont want to come across as coming away from the expansion feeling negatively. bc despite not liking a lot of details about the expansion, it was still as fun as others. i think i maybe even liked it more than some of the larger living world plots and its just started.

mostly, im just not interested in many family-based narratives. i dont have a family so it just usually takes a more... impactful relationship to make me interested in the dynamics. it being a whole cast of new characters and a new fantasy group of people made me even less inclined to invest myself in their issues bc i was still trying to figure out the context for these characters and this place.

it did explain why caithe went with us though. i thought that was so random but then it went on to be the unresolved mommy issues chapter and she is like the grand champion of mommy issues bc she just made them all up in her head. like... i always thought it was SO WEIRD how caithe treats aurene so much like a mother to child. like except for weird dragon bond magic i dont really understand how or why her character has gone from being calculated and cunning to just like, doting and brooding over a child that was really the player characters' if anyones. she says like "our daughter"or some shit to you at the end of this one and i was like ooooooooo ehhhhhhhh about that. i love u caithe... and i think u rule.... but you are my least favorite member if every group we are in together so its a little weird for you to talk about the baby u have with me sorry.

malice it was like. cool to remember she exists. she is still just an extension of other characters and not really speaking for herself in a way that matters. just too shy about her position to do much. dont know where thats going but it could be cool to see her become important as a character for how important she was in specifc parts of the story. shes neat! i wanna be excited to see her but rn for her and caithe i was just like. oh :/ was literally everyone else busy? lol

poky is weirdly just like braham. i kinda wish braham just came bc i think its crazy we just sort of touched base and that was it. like dude whats up!!?

omg real quick. Stoic Alder. i am so sorry. you talk WAY. TOO. SLOW. i cant stand it. i never do this but his was the first time playing in 12 years that i actively sought to miss a character's dialogue. i was getting drinks etc every other time he talked bc it was largely summative in nature and soo. slowwwww. all the lowland koda sort of talked that way but his was so hard for me. do they pick leaders based on who talks slowest? lol. the council was dope i like them. but especially when it was all about his estranged relationship with his son bc of his dead wife or whatever. like thats sad bear stuff i guess but it happens bro lol. i dont think the first 5minutes of Up is said either bc like they lived a happy life together ppl die and thats normal.

but thats beside the point. i guess it just felt a little like we were mostly dealing with slice of life issues while what could very well be a devastating threat was brewing just north all the while.

i didnt think titans were ever coming back tbh. sort of a deep cut while being relevant no matter what bc of lore reasons. its kind of cool bc pretty much everyone has a potential stake in it. if their people werent directly affected by the titans of the past, the actions of the peoples they manipulated were pretty much felt by everybody.

im not happy about having to wait to unlock the rest of the core crafting disciplines for my housing since im fairly certain there will be many future ways to craft expanding on that. diverting the access to the last (better, likely) half of recipes is kind of frustrating. i missed when they manipulated our gameplay in more subtle ways. there are a lot of things about this and the last expansion that really make it seem like theyre trying to negotiate with your willingness to waste your time. and i dont appreciate it lol. but its not a big deal. im mostly excited about future expansions.

like i loved in the prologue how they walked us around the room to tell us more or less the next things the alliance would be dealing with. v excited to go back to elona in the future. and the tengu... how long must i bang my fists against the walls of the dominion of winds before they let us innnnn. in my truest fantasy its bc theyre going to let us make tengu characters. but i know its delusional dont worry. the hope keeps me young.

overall i LOVE the spear skills. huge spear fan here. i really wish they hadnt just stopped making underwater skins for black lion weapon lines bc a lot of them would probably have nice spears we could be using. its... a little silly of them when you think about it. im starving for a better variety of spears! and i did sort of expect more than like 4 when the expansion came out. the spear expansion with a spear on the cover.

whispering sorrow is a very complicated character that i still feel as if i have learned the most about from lore documents despite having met her. i want to like her, and i think she's really cool because of what she can do. but i want to like her because of why she does things too, and im just sort of waiting to see why that could be. or at least to hear it from her mouth.

also just bc i remembered it. i hope poky joins our little guild. i want to like him bc i like braham and theyre so much alike. i wanna see how theyre different too. but i feel he hasnt had as much time yet to banter with us bc we have been mostly dealing with his personal issues. and rightly so! but we got to play w braham a lot before his life fell apart so idk i just think it would be cool if in like a year i was drawing poky and braham doing karaoke together or something lol

[julie-schwieters-supremacy]

tw vent

idek. i hate having to get up in the mornings and having to go out and be okay and im hurting inside all the time and im used to bottling it up except im not sure how good i do that and i just have the hurt and the everything stuck inside me and it really makes me want to die everything is the same and i really. dont think theres anything worth staying for anymore. there is nothing i want more than to die and disintegrate into ashes and dust and fly to sunlit forests until the wind sweeps me somewhere else again. im still telling myself, i have a future, what about our childhood dreams, what about moving out, what about giving my kids the childhood they deserve, what about living a better life and getting better for myself, what about being a psychiatrist and helping people, what about living with my friends, what about the things ill never get to do. but i really dont know if thats enough. i dont even know if hes enough to make me stay anymore. where did i go wrong? how did i go from young and naive and loving everyone and everything in my own little world to this? destroying myself with everything i do and constantly wanting to die? life is so underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time and im worried about everyone. like these 2 people are dealing with everything but i just want them to be okay. they dont deserve the hurt and negative feelings and i wish i could take it away or they could at least give it to me because theyre the best thing to ever happen to me and i really love them but theyre dealing with stuff too and i check in and do what i can but i dont think im good enough to be there for them. they have other friends and other closer friends i feel like but sometimes they vent or tell me about their problems and i wish i could make it all better. they deserve the world and i love them so much theyve both been through a lot and i just love these 2 people so so so much they mean so much to me except i dont know how to show it and i dont want them to think im being weird or anything i dont want to talk to someone about it because i feel so stupid when they comment on it and i feel like im being attention seeking and i just hate it and i hate how i even need to vent because why cant i be okay i didnt want this i feel so much hurt sometimes i dont even know why and its so much that it turns physical and into a pain in my chest and i feel like my heart is being clawed out and someone is squeezing my lungs and dicing it up into little pieces and some of them call it love and others are just like that and i feel like a puppet sometimes and i feel really fucking dead sometimes and i cant do anything well or at all and i feel so replaceable sometimes because there could be someone better because i feel like everyone hates me sometimes and i want to be better except i cant because this is the way i am and i really hate it because why cant i be perfect and good and be there for my friends and not mess up the relationships i have and maybe i wouldnt be left out all the time and maybe i would be the friend that walks with the other friends on the sidewalk and maybe i would be the friend that they tell their secrets to and maybe i would be the friend that makes their life at least a little better and maybe i would be the friend they trust with their life and maybe we would have that connection and i want it so badly but whenever i try it just doesnt work and i am so tired im so tired of life i dont know where i went wrong and i just want to go so bad and never come back but whos going to be the one taking everything that he throws at us so my siblings wont have to grow up with the trauma and end up how i did and who would be the one to check in on them because no one else will and who will be the one who teaches my sister that its okay to love and not be okay and who will teach both of my siblings that love is okay and being yourself is okay and who will be the one who is there for him when he needs it and i just sfkghj

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Heyyy!Have you seen the spoilers for chapter 389? what is your opinion? :>

Hey, anon. I assume you mean chapter 388? Because chapter 389 isnt out yet. And for new chapter 388, there is not much say but here we go;

Bnha Chapter 388 Opinions;

Rest in peace, Mr. Robot, you are true hero.

Finally, Rei has the chance to show how much she loves her children, Touya. She goes towards fire to save his son. I love how first two thing she says 'Touya! I am sorry!' because thats exactly what Touya needs to hear. His mom is here to save him, trying to cool him down and tells him that she is sorry.

And i wish we get more clear reaction from Dabi because his face is...hard to read. He looks so shocked and sad but still, i wish we get some child Touya rec to his mom since we get with Endeavour scenes so we should've get with his mother and siblings too. I hope we get it at some point in story.

And this is personal opinion but i dont like Fuyumi and Natsuo's speech, compared to Rei's.

Though it is understandable why they say this, i dont like it. Fuyumi says she doesnt want to lose 'anyone else'. This speech is like 'we already lost you so at least, i want my parents to stay alive'. Its like she is saying that there is no hope for Touya.

And Natsuo's 'stupid big brother' thing reminds me of Shouto who said the same thing to him. He is thinking about his past and he says 'stop causing more trouble!'. As if this is all Touya's fault. As if Touya shut his mouth, none of these would've happenned. I think this is the last thing Touya needs to hear right now.

So i know most people might not agree with this but i dont like those speechs at all. I know its such an emotional moment and all, but i wish they told him that they want their brother to live too, that they love him, that they should come home already etc. It is realistic that they are talking this way, and at least they are trying to save their brother too, mostly their mother and father but i think they also want to save Touya too so i get it but once again, i hate their speechs. Its not helpfull.

And Endeavour lol. I never have any expectations for him so i am not surprised that his decision is to kill Touya. Once again leave him behind, the black sheep of the family. Look, i do understand that Endeavour doesnt want other family members to die but he had so many chances to make it right, he constantly throw all of these away and since beginning until the end, he is just ugh.

Meanwhile, Touya is already mentally out of it. I dont even think he understands what is happenning right now. He kinda lost the control of his power, his mind. I think he cant stop the fire even if he wants to. But i think at the end he seems kinda happy that his family is here with him so thats why he is imagining a world that he is accepted, happy with his family. Except Shouto, because because in his mind, he didnt accept him as family member yet.

This was painful to read. Touya deserves better. I am worried about him because he might get 'too exicted' to be with his family again and might be out of control more. I dont think he will die but still, its painful to read. I hope he and other gets saved in time.

[thekingofwinterblog]

any predictions for the final MHA chapter?

Predictions? I honestly dont know, other than the guess this entire story was a tale Izuku told someone else, as suggested by the narration in the first chapters.

I do think ending it already on the next chapter was a genuine mistake. MHA for all it's flaws is a great world with interesting characters, who i genuinely WANT to see how they ended up. Basically the only two characters who i DIDNT care to see where they ended up was Bakugo(Who it was painfully obvious was supposed to die at the platform before the editor put the kebash on that), and Uraraka, who's romantic relationship with Izuku came way too late, and was way too boring for me to care about here at the final hour.

Momo, mina, kirishima, jiro, kaminaro, shoji, and so on. I WANT to see how they settled into a post AFO world, and the sinple reality is that unless we get a timeskip to them as adults, we wont be getting that inner look.

As usual for MHA most of the class except the most popilar characters(Todoroki, uraraka and bakugo) got shafted.

There is one prediction i WILL make though.

Aizawa will hopefully finally make up with ms joke.

I have been preparing a series of deep dive essays into the four main teachers of Aizawa, Present Mic, Midnight and All Might and their respective character journeys... And not too surprisingly the most developed one is aizawa and All Might's.

All Might's journey to recover his smile is done though... But Aizawa's isnt. It's lacking one, final chapter, where that sense of looking towards the bright future, the trait he lost when Shirakumo died, but that regained as the story went on, is fully put on display.

And frankly speaking, i cannot see any better way to end it, than have him finally mustering the energy and courage to let his one, genuine relationship all built around his own future, that he himself let crash and burn, another go.

Aizawa as a character is, not too surprisingly for anyone who has picked up a DC comic in their life, inspired by batman.

What's not clear though at the start, is that he's inspired by one, specific direction, one iteration of Batman went. The DCAU's old man bruce wayne.

Aizawa at the end his time in school gave up on his own future, his own dreams and wishes and ambition and dedicated himsrlf solely to the mission, the job, the work of a hero.

And just like it did for DCAU bruce wayne, he ended up alone as a result, as we saw in Vigilantes.

Rather than dealing with his trauma in any healthy or productive way, he instead buried it by dedicating himself to being the best hero he could possibly be... But not with the sort of genuine enthusiasm that All Might has.

He cares about his students... But he is absolutely terrible at showing it, he is willing to destroy good records by permanenetly marking them with an expulsion, as we learn through the series. Hard, well intentioned, but ultimately not the most healthy way to express it. Allways ensuring that there will be a distance between him and his students next year.

He threats them in the way he treated himself, which all in all lead him to be a very hit and miss teacher.

However, over the course of the series, this changes. Aizawa begins to overcome the limbo he was stuck in, once more beginning to look head up, towards the horizon.

This culminating in his motivation during the first war, when we see what really keeps him going, a new dream for the future he finally embraced.

His students. He is going to live, survive, and see them through to graduation. That was the happy dream he, withouth really realizing, was searching for all along.

Not the spartan teacher who only saw his students as project who's duty it was his to see through to the adult world, but a more healthy relationship that filled him with the very thing he lost so long ago. Hope, joy, smile and laughter.

In the end, Aizawa's entire motivation and development led right back around to what His former GF told him they could build together.

A happy household where the good times and laughter never ends. Not the harsh, humorless classes Aizawa had engineered up until now.

Aizawa scoffs at it back then, but that is what he truly wanted, and i really hope this story actually has SOME sort of ending where Aizawa's arc finishes by giving the one part of his past we never got a good look into the closure it deserves.

The confirmation that Aizawa is not going to end up as old man Bruce wayne, alone and miserable, but instead embrace his newfound, open and healthy love for the people around him.