#i wish i could go back to source

[cover-this-song]

. It's so late i kinda just feel dejected right now. I miss my sourcemates but it's so hard for me to maintain relationships. Not because I dislike them but because I get sad and I'm annoying so I think people get tired of me 💧. I would talk to other people to fill the void but being a hetalia alter I uh can't really do that.

[deoidesign]

I'm caught now, what's the comic about? I'm guessing demons from your tags but I want to know more (without spoiling anything)

I'm so glad you asked.

I wanna say so much but I don't want to spoil anything... I'll do my best.

It's about demons, yes... But also mermaids, curses, murder, and love... The sweetest mermaid in the world gets magically stuck with an asshole demon warlord.

Thrust into a world of crime, murder, lies, and secrets, Luciel is completely out of their depth... And cursed to live in the ocean for the rest of his life, Zagan is a fish out of water.

Zagan is trying to solve the mystery of his own murder, while also navigating trying to cure his new curse AND gathering souls so he doesn't get sent back to hell. While Luciel is happy to tag along, Zagan is new to cooperation and is forced to adapt... And Luciel soon discovers there might have been a BIT more danger than they signed up for.

It follows the two of them as they solve a mystery, uncover new secrets, and navigate the dangers of the world while also discovering its many wonders!

And also maybe falling in love...

This is sort of the vibe... I haven't finished any episodes yet. These aren't canon scenes. I keep drawing just a couple panels or small strips of scenes that MIGHT happen cause I'm so excited it's not even funny I want to make it so bad

I can't stop drawing them it's a problem. I have work I have to do...

[idolomantises]

Anyways speaking of being gay apparently teenagers on tiktok are mad at me because they found out I’m a lesbian who uses he/they pronouns

[not-cool-enough-to-scuba-dive]

actually I would quite like to hear your thoughts on gender philosophy in omegaverse worldbuilding? :3

hm. anon, I fear this is a far larger can of worms than you probably anticipated. I'm going to spare you the worst of it by only giving you a short version, but be careful what you wish for.

I'm also hiding it under a cut because even the short version is embarrassingly long.

I'm hardly a connoisseur of omegaverse content, nor would I consider myself anywhere near an expert. I don't want to speak for all fics as I've admittedly not read many. I did do my master's diss about legal gender recognition, so this is more about gender and philosophically sound worldbuilding than an indictment of any particular writing or story tbh.

the short answer is I find omegaverse worldbuilding really interesting, but I've never fully been able to enjoy it due to the way a/b/o identities tend to have a biological determinist slant to them imo, and tendency for a lack of real world implications of what the omegaverse does to gender and character interactions anywhere outside the bedroom. I'd love to figure out a version that's more inclusive and philosophically/ideologically consistent, both with itself and with my own views on real life gender (basically, I want to make it make more sense, have less biological determinism, and be more inclusive of the wider range of human experiences). this is a big task, and ngl I haven't achieved it and don't anticipate doing so any time soon. I have like, a concept in my head, taking apart all the key pieces and putting them together again but different, but to make it thorough enough would require more effort and time than I have because I'm like, employed 😔

I feel like someday if I ever get invited to a powerpoint night though, this could be It.

[moe-broey]

Got any body type/anatomy thoughts? FEH has very little in the way of body type variation and I personally like reading that as an open invitation to get silly with it.

OKAOKAYOKAY!!!!!!!! I MIGHT. Have gathered everything.... but I have SOOOOOOO MANY THOUGHTS ON THIS bc you're absolutely right!!!!! It's like a canvas to me...

I have a few directions I take with it! My main one, is to extrapolate features that may be present in the canon design. Taking them Further. I'm so sorry to do this but he is the epitome of this for me, GUSTAV JUMPSCARE 😨😨😨😨😰😰😰

But this is what I mean! I see canon Gustav has a full beard, is big and muscular. Okay. In my mind's eye, that translates to Big Hefty Heavyset type of muscular builds that are more realistic than the 6 pack bulging muscles (that require a lot of prep/dehydration to Look Like That). Also, hairy. Which is why, to fully demonstrate this, he's.... I don't know what he's doing here. This was psychologically taxing on me, but then I reminded myself I Am An Artist and I Hate America. 🫡🧍

Sometimes, if a character fits a certain archetype, I might put a few personal touches into them... mom/mom-like characters who REALLY embody the Doting Caretaker archetype often get the same body type as my own mother. A little honorary thing... though I do wanna be careful as to not restrict a specific body type (esp fat bodies) to specifically stereotypes (aka "mom bod"). Also, a comparison to Sharena! They do share similarities! Henriette's face looks familiar though... and not quite in the way Sharena's does.

Another focal reason I started off w Gustav though, is the second biggest thing I'm Always Thinking About when it comes to character's body types. Which is, Telling A Story.

I've had.... SO many oddly specific hcs about Alfonse...... for So Long..... one of them that's always in the back of my mind is him being at different weights during specific periods of his life. That, for the majority of it/esp his youth, he was almost waifish. He only starts looking healthier when he's out from under his parents' (COUGH gustavCOUGH) thumb (but let's be real, Henriette can be EXTREMELY stressful too... opposite end of the spectrum about it).

Another example of Telling A Story though. Sometimes I trans characters just for funsies and it has no real bearing on anything. OTHER times... my trans headcanons are integral to specific lore beats in my elaborate inner world. ENTER. BRUNO

These are actually from a bit ago I was gonna hold off on posting til I felt I had everything together, BUT. BUT. It's extremely relevant!

In the beginning, I often asked myself, "Why doesn't ANY of the Askr trio recognize Bruno as Zacharias?" MY ANSWER. Is that he looked quite different!!!! In tandem with my silly hcs for him, I feel that Bruno is someone who must care a lot about his appearance. About Looking masculine. I think he's been out as a man by the time he joins the Order, but is early on in his transition (by whatever means that manifests in w ✨ Magic ✨ and shit!!). I think he passes, but definitely Looked Different. Give him More Muscle and a haircut and an even more noticeable voice drop and top surgery he dramatically shows off at every opportunity and a mask that conceals his big beautiful brown eyes with fluttery soft eyelashes and like. Who Is That Mysterious Man...... in that Damnable Mask.........

Okay. Let's back up a minute. What do you mean Lif got mysteriously taller. What does that even mean. I can grant him gaining more weight/muscle, but, Taller???? At his grown up age....?? Well.

Hel's memory of the mortals she claims isn't so good, apparently.... (Eir obviously can't tell anything by the nearly all rotted away bones, but the scraggly long hair is giving her pause...) (also is it the King Hel is thinking of in the first place....? Eir isn't going to ask.)

At this point, I definitely could feel myself getting distracted and decided to just art dump a handful of charas I have strong visions for.

Here, you also see The Secret Third Option of body type design philosophy -- which is. If the design itself isn't giving me a lot to work with. I just do my own thang LMFAOOO 😅 I think Anna def fell into that category for me... where a lot of the story/lore I added for her was purely hc territory, and I went from there. She's broad, tall, muscular, top heavy, but still kinda thin and knobby. Aerodynamic, perhaps....

Sometimes, characters are a combination of these things though... like Mirabilis definitely being a combo of qualities, having personal touches, storytelling elements to her, and doing my own thing for funsies! More about the fairies overall -- I think they all ended up having their basic needs met and were even granted dreams/desires for themselves after becoming Alfar (like becoming exactly as you see yourself, or how you wish to be... which unfortunately only goes so far, can't fully undo the damage done to Mira, but. It's free transition for Triandra, is what I'm getting at LMFAOOO). Which is why each of them did fill out more to varying degrees (again, Mira suffering the most long-term effects from her mortal life, and Triandra, already having an idea/concept of herself at the age she drank the nectar, being able to transition). I have specific human design concepts for them too, that look A Bit different than their fairy designs.... but. I'm still working on that 🧍

Eir is def a storytelling one. When it comes to Alfonse's scrawniness, he was just stressed out so bad it took a physical toll. I don't think there was ever any food restriction (or, if there was, it was a rare occasion/used as a punishment). For Eir, I think something like that would make sense for her though.... lack of access, and frequent meticulously purposeful elaborate abuse from Hel. Eir still looks like you could break her in half, but she does look a lot healthier since her stay in Askr. Another note, though I ran out of space... maybe Ymir looks more like Eir than Hel does. I wonder why that could be....

AND. BACK TO THE START. Extrapolating on canon design elements! If you're going to present me a female chara with big honking bazongas, I'm going to make her fat. Or at very least, Carry Some Weight, like Plumeria does (in that full figured curvy way!). And ESP. ESPPPPPP FOR SEIDR AND GULLVEIG. Where Gullveig has Various Lines about "Oh... I don't know how well these old clothes fit me anymore..." (paraphrasing/off memory I feel like she says something like this Multiple Times). Like. Okay. Well I took that personally. I also just like the idea of her changing over time... always having a chubbier build, but it just keeps going as she keeps growing and changing.

In putting this into words, I'm finding a common thread seems to be weight gain as a sign that someone is being taken care of... for Gullveig, I think it's just a purely neutral change over the course of her life. In Lif's case....... some sort of mix up occurred. I can see Alfonse taking more after Gustav naturally, too, as he gets older though!

One final thought is just, is there a fun little detail I can include? Like giving Seidr and the Seidrs a snake-like face? Doubling as something so cutes and something Intimidating? IT WILL BE DONE. Also Need to get to coloring an illust of Gullveig one day..... the golden stretch marks are soooo cool in my mind's eye...... also just. One Million Piercings. Also as characterization/storytelling. A lack thereof is storytelling, as well.... to me..... ALSO!!!!! SHAPE LANGUAGE!!!!!! I'M SUCH A SHAPE LANGUAGE BITCH!!!!!!!!!

I HOPE. THIS ANSWER FINDS YOU WELL 🫡

[jabeur]

okay like the thing is that suicide jokes and such are probably not that bad or that big of a deal if you're not really suicidal but if you're For Real suicidal or have been before and are not doing well mentally and you keep making them and start finding comfort in the thought you could kill yourself if you wanted to. be careful

[donnyclaws]

I was gonan make a post apologizing for lack of regular art but I feel like jts already clear im sporadic and in and out of it bc chronic pain and circumstances. So for now I'm gonna hibernate, get my health steady again, deal with money issues, and art will happen when it happens.

[nose-nippin-fun]

Whoopsy doodle, I realized why Angel is a comfort character.

[kurozu501]

fuck.

[coridallasmultipass]

I hate when my phone won't let me have 2 audio sources running at the same time (depending on the app). I know what I'm doing, let me hear the discordant noises. My brain has built-in audio separation for music. It came as compensation for auditory processing issues. Don't make me pause the music.

[nomairuins]

anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day

[asmoshoebox]

listen i enjoy trent and asmoraius together as much as the next gay but im just a fucking sucker for mirrored arcs. and i think hornblas gets an unnecessarily bad rap just because misroch hates him and belzagor felt abandoned. step out of misrochs doc martens for just a moment and look at hornblas with me. what kind of demon wants to go back to heaven? a demon who has found nothing to live for, not in any circle of hell nor any century on earth

[silverselfshippingchaos]

i love my husband he's so silly goofy!!

[netripper]

actually now that i think ab it johnny wouldn’t get pissy over vic’s driving. he strikes me as a joyride kinda guy. i’m like 100% sure he grew up around a bunch of car rednecks with these crazy ass hotrods in the 90s, then hotrod culture died down, then he got to NC and lo and behold it’s fuckin flourishing

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

.

[sploosh543]

Good news everyone NOISZ has officially reached critical brainrot status in my brain.