#i wish i could give mikey a hug

[rosze-v]

When Mikey loves you, you wouldn't really hear much words of affirmations.

But you could see it when he would split half of his taiyaki for you, feeding you with his hand and wiping off the remnants on your lips with his soft, gentle thumb.

You would see it when he would ask Draken for a helmet, made for you. So when the both of you go out on your weekly, night ride, he would sit you up on your special seat, while he strap the helmet onto you, making sure your hair looks fine because "I spend so much time making my hair looks good!",you said, and he remembered of course. He didn't ride fast, but enough to have you embracing his chest as he subconsciously held onto your hand, giving it a little squeeze.

You would see his love when he would take out an album of him and his little family. He would then explain what happened in those pictures. Like the time where he tried to cook some Melon Bread but ended up having flour all over him, or pictures of his brother, as his lips smiled, soft with a tinge of sadness. He'll also show you the early pictures of Toman, and he would tell you glorious stories of his mates, and you could see the proud look on his face. Mikey shares his memories when he loves.

You would see it the most when he's at his lowest. Yes, Draken had been the closest to his heart but when you came? There were indeed no words when you heard the engine of his motor at night, but when you would open the door to your house, and the immediate hug from him, that was the rawest he had ever been. The shakiness of his shoulders, the silent sobs as you fell down on your knees with him in yours arms, cradling the broken pieces of him. You would stroke his hair, soothing him and he would tighten his hold, as he slowly speaks of what's bothering him.

Mikey doesn't really show his love through words but you never failed to see his love. It's true, it's pure and it's beautiful. It's intimate and raw and you would never trade it for anything. Mikey loves, and he loves hard, and no one loves more than a person who shows instead of uttering mindless words.

[dandylovesturtles]

alright, here it is: part 3 of the still untitled Room Fic! and boy is it long... this might be as long as parts 1 and 2 put together.

Content warnings for this part: vomit, serious discussion of food issues, internalized ableism, everyone being a little bit dumb

I am not a doctor and my meal plan for Leo is extremely lightly researched (mainly because it's hard to find information that would be helpful in Leo's situation but that isn't highly technical). in the end I went with what I like from a narrative standpoint. if someone starves as long as Leo did please get them to an actual doctor lol.

also I got tired and didn't proofread the last few sections.

just a warning that I'm going on vacation next week and will be out of the country for awhile so don't expect any more for this for quite some time. in the meantime, hope you enjoy this!

and if you're confused, start here!

-----

Leo wakes up.

The room is moving. His head is cradled in someone's lap. There's a furry hand stroking his arm, and a voice hums the notes of a lullaby he hasn't heard since he was a child.

-----

Leo wakes up.

He's lying somewhere soft and blessedly warm. There's a weight across his chest. Someone is chattering in his ear, happy and upbeat, saying something to him about Jupiter Jim on the desert planet Delta-5.

-----

Leo wakes up.

He's still somewhere soft but now it's too hot. He whines and pushes at the things on his chest. Near his ear someone tuts, and then a hand lands on his, giving it a squeeze.

"Nardo, you need to warm up. Don't-"

-----

Leo wakes up, and his eyes open.

"Leo?" comes Raph's voice. Leo blinks to clear his vision, then lets his eyes trail up, to find his big brother bending over him. "You awake for real this time?"

He isn't sure. Raph being here sure feels like a dream.

He lowers his eyes and looks around. He's not home. He doesn't recognize this place at all, actually. But the walls are beige (still unstimulating, but at least not white), the furniture is dark brown, the bed (not a cot) has a blue bedspread, the empty takeout containers on the table have a splash of red. It's not home, but it's not the room, either.

If he were going to dream, surely he'd just picture himself back home.

He blinks back up at Raph, and smiles.

"Wide awake," he says, echoing Raph from before.

Raph bursts into tears, immediately leaning down and wrapping Leo up in one of his signature hugs. For the first time in so many days (longer, longer, Leo can't remember the last time he got a Raph hug like this), Leo feels completely secure, fully enveloped in love and affection, held safe by his big brother where no one can hurt him.

The difference between this moment and the last week and a half is so stark it leaves Leo feeling dizzy. Like he hadn't even realized how scared and lonely and helpless he truly felt until all that pain was taken away. He's safe now. He's okay now. Raph is hugging him.

Leo hates crying in front of people, but even he can't be stoic for this.

"Oh Leo," says Raph softly once he realizes. "It's okay. We got'cha."

Leo sniffs, burying his face in Raph's plastron. He wishes he could hug back, but his limbs feel so heavy, like Donnie swapped them out for metal versions when he wasn't looking. So he can't hug back, but he leans in close and hopes that's enough.

They get about a minute to hug before Mikey is worming his way in between them, wriggling to push his arms past Raph's and around Leo for himself. "No fair, you got to hold him earlier!" Mikey declares, his voice thick with tears.

"You got to hug him earlier," Raph argues.

"He was asleep, it doesn't count!" Mikey hits back, and Leo laughs and shifts so Mikey can better get in the middle. Raph sighs exaggeratedly, but he gives Leo a pat and leans back to let Mikey in.

Mikey hugs even tighter than Raph, nuzzling in against Leo's shoulder. "I missed you," he says, then gives a choked sob he tries to bury.

"Missed you too," Leo promises, craning his neck so he can land a big smooch on Mikey's head. That replaces the sobs with relieved giggles that leave Leo feeling so much lighter.

After another minute, Mikey moves back and looks over at Donnie, who's been standing at the side of the bed wringing his hands. "Your turn, Donald."

Donnie makes a grumpy noise at having been perceived, but when Leo gets a look at his face he sees Donnie has tears shimmering in his eyes, too. They break free once Donnie's arms are around him, trickling onto the skin of Leo's shoulder.

"Crying over me, Don-ton?" he teases, even as his own voice is thick with emotion.

"Shut up, Nardo," Donnie snaps back, but his voice cracks at the end and he holds on even tighter.

"Alright, my turn," says April once Donnie starts to loosen his grip, and Donnie obligingly crawls off the bed, swiping at his eyes. Like he's looking for something to busy himself with, he starts throwing away the takeout containers on the table. They must be empty.

Leo tears his eyes away just as April swoops in to wrap him up in his fourth hug of the hour, giving him a kiss on his forehead as she does. "Hey, Leo. How're you feelin'?"

"Happy to see you," he says again, and she squeezes him tighter. "Kinda hot."

"That's the hypothermia talking," says Donnie. April shushes him.

"Hypothermia?" Leo asks. April pulls back so she can see his face.

"It wasn't that bad," she says quickly. "You'd started brumating, we think... Tromping around in the snow didn't help, though."

"Not to mention you used up the last of your energy portaling us out of there," Mikey chimes in. "It was really cool though!"

Leo laughs. "Thanks, little brother." Even with the containers thrown away, the smell of the takeout is thick in the room. Leo guesses they had Japanese. It can't have been that long ago. "Where are we?"

"Motel room about two hours down the road." April slides to sit next to him, keeping one arm wrapped around his shoulders. Her body heat is warm in a more pleasant way than the blankets, and he leans into it. "We wanted to go further, but we needed to get you warmed up."

"A motel...? Huh." Leo looks around again. This is his first time being in a hotel that isn't owned by Big Mama. He wonders how far it is from the Japanese place. Just, like, average delivery time. "What happened? It's... kind of a blur for me." He laughs.

They launch into the story without any more prompting. It all sounds like what Leo expected. Raph led the team. Donnie did science stuff. Mikey razzed his tazz. April used her investigative skills.

They tracked him all the way down to Colorado (that explains the snow) and broke him out. They floored it away from the EPF, got far enough they felt safe, then booked into a motel under April's name. That's where they've been since. Splinter and Draxum are out now, patrolling to make sure they weren't followed or discovered.

It's quite the story. And Leo knows he should be paying more attention than he is.

It's just, the takeout boxes. The smell coming from them is so strong, or maybe Leo is just abnormally sensitive to it. He thinks someone had steak, and someone else had fish. The fried rice had egg in it. His mouth is watering so badly he has to swallow every few seconds.

"Leo?" calls Mikey, and Leo startles, ripping his eyes from the trash can to look at Mikey's face. He's gripping the bedspread so hard his knuckles are cramping. He realizes this is not the first time Mikey said his name. Great, now they know he wasn't paying attention.

"Ah, sorry," he says quickly. "I didn't mean to zone out." He flashes them all the biggest smile he can, so they don't worry. "I was just, uh..."

He trails off, not sure of a way to say that he was completely distracted by the smell of their already eaten Japanese food without making it awkward.

"Sorry, Leo, we know you're tired," says Raph, reaching over and rubbing his head. "You can go back to sleep. We're not leaving for awhile."

Go back to sleep? Leo doubts he can, what with the hunger an empty yawning hole inside him. It had been muted while the cold and the exhaustion took over, but now that he's warmer and more rested his body is very painfully reminding him he still has another problem.

He's trying to come up with a casual way to approach the subject when his stomach does it for him, gurgling and growling loud enough that everyone hears it. Leo is very glad his blushes don't show up as easily as humans' do.

"Uh... heh heh." He scratches at his own cheek, then stops when he feels how disturbingly hollowed out it is. "Before that... are there any leftovers?"

Everyone's staring at him. Leo's too tired to puzzle out why they're all staring at him. Maybe there really aren't any leftovers? He did just watch Donnie throw everything away. Maybe there were some, but now they'd have to fish it out of the trash. Leo wants to say he'd happily eat it out of the trash, but that would be really weird and they'd stare at him even more.

(But he would eat it out of the trash. He may be too proud to say it out loud, but he can admit it to himself.)

"O-or," he says quickly, to fill the silence after his last question, "if... if it's not too much trouble, can you ask Dad and Barry to bring something with them when they come back? Even if it's just something from a gas station, or..." They're still staring, and Leo feels himself starting to ramble desperately, "Or if it's too late, I can just... I can just go back to sleep, hah, but... but can someone at least wake me up so I don't miss breakfast?"

His family stutters back to life at that. Raph gives a furious shake of his head and says, "Forget breakfast," which makes Leo's heart and stomach lurch painfully. Waiting until lunch? That feels like forever away.

But then Raph continues with, "Leo, why didn't you tell us you're hungry right now?"

Leo falters. "Uh... just... didn't want to interrupt the flow of the conversation," he says, which is true, but the way everyone is looking at him now, he's pretty sure it's the wrong answer.

"Please," says April, tone very close to exasperated, "interrupt the conversation."

"Will do," says Leo. But he's still not sure what to do, because no one has told him when food is coming.

(You want this? You beg for it.)

Before he can spin out on that thought, Mikey jumps off the bed and heads for the mini-fridge that Leo hadn't noticed until now. He yanks open the door and pulls out two takeout containers, a box and a cylindrical container.

"We weren't sure what you felt up to, so we got you steak hibachi and miso soup," Mikey says, waving each container in turn.

The thought of having to actually chew and swallow sounds exhausting, so Leo says, "Soup's fine." And then, just in case, he adds hastily, "Please."

"Okay," says Mikey, and even though he's clearly trying to sound upbeat, Leo can hear the strain in his voice. "Just give me a minute to heat it up for you!"

Leo would eat it cold. Leo would eat it frozen. But he bites that back and waits.

Mikey puts it in the microwave on top of the fridge. Every little tick down on the timer feels like it takes three eternities. The rest of his family seems to feel the tension as much as he does.

"April!" says Donnie abruptly, too loud to be natural. "You wanted to see what's on the sci-fi channel!"

"Thaaat's right!" she says, also a little too loudly. "I did. Hand me the remote."

Donnie gives her the remote. She turns on the TV just as the microwave dings.

Mikey yanks the door open as soon as it does, pulling the bowl out with no regard for how hot it is. He gives it a perfunctory blow to cool it down, then hurries over to the bed, pausing only to grab a plastic spoon off a little pile of utensils on the table.

He hands both the bowl and spoon to Leo, but Leo already knows his arms won't be able to maneuver the spoon, so he lets it fall into his lap, in favor of lifting the entire container to his lips. He hopes he doesn't look too pathetically eager as he tilts it back and takes his first sip.

It's good.

It's so good he starts crying.

It's not even the best miso soup he's ever had. In fact, it's a little too oily and nowhere near as good as the kind his dad makes, or what Mikey is capable of. But it doesn't matter. It wouldn't matter if this was the worst soup in the world, because right now it's the best thing Leo has ever tasted.

He may be crying more over this than he did over hugs from his family. Maybe he'll have it in him to feel bad for that later.

The TV is showing some old monster movie. His siblings pretend they're watching that and not watching him. He appreciates that, because it makes him feel less self-conscious as he desperately slurps down the soup, practically guzzling it, only pausing when he has to chew the greens here and there.

He eats until his stomach is full and warm. And then he keeps going. There's still soup left, and stopping feels impossible.

(Besides, no one actually promised him breakfast.)

"Hey, maybe you should slow down," says Donnie. Leo pauses, looking up at him, licking the remains of soup off his lips. The container is still about a third full.

Maybe Donnie is right. His stomach is actually starting to cramp. But... but...

He doesn't know what his face looks like right now. But something about it makes Donnie look sad.

He turns away, rubbing right between his fake eyebrows. "Okay, okay. Just... don't overdo it."

Leo sighs, grateful the soup isn't being taken away. He goes back to drinking it, feeling like the chasm inside him is finally beginning to fill.

-----

The next time Leo wakes up, it's because he has to puke. Unfortunately, he doesn't have time to communicate that before it's all over himself and the bedsheets.

"Whoa, Leo-" someone says, and then there's a flurry of activity around him. He can't keep up with who goes where and who says what. It's a lot to keep track of when he just woke up and is spewing half-digested miso soup and stomach bile.

"There we go... You're alright, Blue, you're alright," he hears once he comes back to his senses, and he blinks and looks over. His dad is standing on the bed next to him, and he leans in with a damp washcloth and wipes at Leo's face and mouth.

"Perhaps the soup was too much for your stomach," Splinter says as he finishes, tossing the washcloth into the floor. "How do you feel?"

"Mm... weird," Leo admits, leaning sleepily into his dad's shoulder. He shouldn't because he's gross, but Splinter lets him do it, stroking his cheek. "My stomach hurts..."

The loss of the food hurts; without anything in his stomach, he'll feel hungry again soon. Leo is terrified of that, of the deep empty chasm of his hunger returning, sucking him down into its depths. At the same time, the idea of eating makes him feel queasy.

He feels weird, and miserable, and scared, and he doesn't know when his dad came back, but he's so glad he's here.

"How much did you let him eat?" he hears Draxum ask. Leo finds the energy to feel offended that he's being talked about like he isn't in the room, but not enough energy to actually say anything about it.

"As much as he wanted," Mikey answers. Which, as Leo recalls, was almost all of the soup.

"And how much was that?"

"Here, look."

There's the sound of the mini-fridge being opened again. The pop of the takeout lid. Draxum hums in a way that does not sound pleased.

"Leonardo," he says, coming to stand by the bed now. "I have a very important question and I need you to answer: when was the last time you ate?"

Leo stares at him blearily. Then he raises a tired hand and indicates the mess all down his front.

"Don't get cute," says Draxum, ignoring the following grunt of warning Splinter directs his way. "You know what I'm asking you."

Of course Leo knows. But he doesn't want to answer. Not while his dad is holding him, and all his siblings are watching him expectantly. They aren't going to like what he has to tell them. He doesn't want to upset them.

But Draxum is unmoved and steely eyed. There's no way Leo is getting out of this without answering.

He sighs, shutting his eyes and leaning into Splinter so he doesn't have to be looking at the rest of them when he says it.

"Last time I ate was at Run of the Mill."

He hears a gasp, hears Mikey yell, "What!?" Feels Splinter's sharp intake of breath under his cheek, and then his dad shifts so he can hold him even closer.

"They... they didn't feed you in there at all?" asks April, like she doesn't quite believe it.

Leo nods.

"I should have leveled the whole building!" Donnie snaps, and Leo hears something get knocked to the ground.

Mikey comes closer, and puts a hand on his shoulder, drawing Leo's gaze back his way. He looks so upset, and Leo regrets looking. "Leo, why didn't you tell us? You didn't even say you were hungry!"

"Felt weird to bring it up in the middle of the happy reunion," he says. It's a weak justification, he knows. The look on Mikey's face just gets more miserable.

"Wait," Raph cuts in. "Wait, so... when Bishop said he gave you chances to cooperate for better living conditions, he meant..."

Leo swallows hard, not wanting to look at the distress on Raph's face. "Feeding me, yeah."

"What did he want out of you? What was he making you do?"

This part, at least, Leo can answer easily. "He wanted information. About the yokai and the Hidden City."

Raph sounds surprised. "He just... wanted you to answer questions?"

"Yeah." Leo nods again. "Like, how to get in, how many portals there are, what kind of defense capabilities there are, stuff about Draxum... That's what I remember."

"Why didn't you just tell them?"

Now Leo does look at Raph's face. He's staring at Leo with open horror and distress. But Leo doesn't understand the question, or the look. He did what he was supposed to, didn't he? He held out and didn't give Bishop any information. He did the right thing. So Raph has no reason to look so upset.

He smiles in a way he hopes is reassuring. "Hey, that's not what a hero would do, right?"

It's apparently not reassuring. If anything, Raph only looks more horrified.

He turns away from Leo abruptly and marches straight out of the room, slamming the door on the way out.

Leo doesn't understand that reaction. He did what he was supposed to, but Raph is mad at him, anyway. The rest of his family seems shocked, too, so at least Leo isn't alone.

"I'll talk to him," says April, the first to move. She leaves with much less noise, disappearing into the dark parking lot beyond the door.

Awkward silence envelops the room after that. Leo doesn't know what to do or say to break it. He made Raph mad, because he never does anything right, according to Raph. It's the same as always, but for some reason Leo feels even worse this time.

"...Well," says Draxum, cutting through the awkwardness when it becomes clear no one else wants to, "knowing this, we will have to be much more careful about what and how much you eat. I'll make a meal plan."

"Why you?" Leo grouses. "Let Donnie do it."

Donnie opens his mouth like he wants to agree, but Draxum cuts him off before he can.

"Me, because I have actual experience designing nutritious meal plans for children." Leo thinks of what he's heard about Draxum's lunchroom and makes a face, which Draxum ignores. "Besides, I can't trust any of the rest of you to actually tell Leo he can't have more to eat."

"I can handle myself," Leo argues.

"Clearly," says Draxum icily, indicating the mess still in Leo's lap, "you cannot."

Leo doesn't have a good response for that, and no one steps up to his defense. Back not even twenty four hours, and he already has multiple people mad at him. That has to be a new record.

"...Whatever," he says, because he doesn't know what else to say. Draxum nods like he actually gave approval.

There's another round of awkward silence. Splinter breaks it this time.

"Why doesn't someone call housekeeping to ask for some fresh sheets," he says, "while I help Blue take a bath."

"Ugh, yes, I'm calling them now," says Donnie. Leo notes for the first time that his most persnickety brother is as far from his bed as possible, having put the second bed and the table between them. "The whole room is starting to smell."

Leo cringes. "Sorry..."

"There is nothing for you to apologize for," his dad reassures him, patting his head. Leo isn't sure he'd say that, but he doesn't waste breath arguing. "Now, come with me."

It takes some maneuvering, but they get him out of bed without making a bigger mess. Mikey starts stripping the sheets, and he can hear Donnie on the phone with the staff across the room.

Leo's still not wearing any of his gear. It shouldn't matter because he's just in a room with his family, but he still walks to the bathroom as quickly as he can.

Splinter shuts the door once they're inside, then fills a little plastic cup with water. This he hands off to Leo, saying, "Drink this, and I will run you a nice warm bath."

Leo does as he says, and tries not to think too much about how Raph is mad at him.

-----

There's an old concrete barrier that stands between the motel parking lot and an open field. Raph hefts a piece of the crumbling concrete and chucks it as hard as he can, watching as it disappears into the tall grass beyond.

They starved him. They starved his little brother for over a week, because he wouldn't answer some questions. And he wouldn't answer those questions because...

That's not what a hero would do.

Raph's ninpo flares to life. Punching out another piece of the barrier is easy; he lifts the broken pieces and throws them after the first, watching them sail through the air.

"You better hope there aren't any security cameras out here," says a voice behind him, and he looks over his shoulder.

April is there, standing a few feet back, hands tucked in the pockets of her jacket. Raph's ninpo stutters out at the sight of her; he wonders if he looked scary.

"...What are they gonna do even if there are?" he asks. But he does stop his wanton destruction.

"I don't know, but just remember it's my credit card on file for damages." Her voice is teasing, though, and he knows she isn't actually mad. She comes over, turning so she can lean against part of the barrier that's still intact. "Come on, Big Red. Talk to me."

Raph doesn't turn around. He can't stand to look back at the motel, at the room where his brother is, tiny and weak and with a stomach that's been empty for days on end. He can't handle it right now. So he keeps his eyes on the field.

"Leo let those guys hurt him," he says.

"No he didn't," says April. "He can't help what they did to him."

"If he'd just answered their questions, they would have fed him."

"We can't know that." April shakes her head. "You heard what Draxum said about those guys. You saw what they were like. Maybe if Leo had answered their questions, they would have just killed him. Leo was probably thinking that, too."

"But that's not what he said," Raph points out.

"...Look." April takes a deep breath. "Leo... just went through a lot. We don't know what he was thinking while he was in there, or what he's thinking now. And you know that boy likes to say flashy things. Don't take anything he says right now too seriously."

"But what if this is the most truthful he's gonna be? What if he just hasn't thought of a good lie yet?"

"Raph-"

"No, you don't get it, April." Raph holds his head in his hands, like he can physically hold the dark thoughts at bay, but he can't, and they keep coming: horrific images of what could have happened, if they'd been too late, if the EPF had been less patient. "I told him to stop thinking of himself! Right before he disappeared, I told him he needed to be a hero! But Raph didn't mean like this!"

"Hey now, you don't know-" April tries, but Raph cuts her off.

"I just wanted him to stop doing everything himself! All the showboating, all the running in without talkin' to us... Raph just wanted him to remember that we're a team!" He lets go of his head and grips the concrete instead, so hard it cracks and crumbles under his fingers. "What if he took that to mean he should risk his life for everyone else? That he had to sacrifice himself?"

"Oookay, slow down there, big guy," says April, turning around and putting a hand on his arm. "You're taking one thing he said and blowing it way out of proportion."

"But what if I'm right?" Raph shakes his head. "How do I live with that, if I am? Knowing I almost killed him?"

"Okay, you look at me right now," she demands, in a way Raph can't refuse. He turns, and she reaches up and grabs his face by the cheeks, yanking him down until he bends to her eye level.

"You did not almost kill him. That was those EPF guys." Her voice is stern, and her grip on his face prevents him from objecting. "And even if you are right, and it's what you said to Leo that kept him from answering... well, then that's something the two of you will have to work out together."

She lets him go, putting her hands on her hips. "But what's done is done. Right now, Leo is exhausted and starved, and he's not really in a state for big emotional talks. So let's just get some space and get your head on straight. Once we get him home and everything's calmed down, the two of you can hash this out."

Raph lets out a strangled laugh, slumping down against the crumbling barrier. "Yeah, because that's so easy."

"I'm not saying it's easy." She sits down next to him, putting her hand on his arm. "But you guys love each other, so you'll do the hard things you have to do. I know you got this." She gives him a wink. "You're Raph."

Raph isn't sure he has that much faith in himself. But April isn't wrong very often, so he thinks he should probably listen to her.

-----

The water feels nice on Leo's skin, pleasantly warm and soothing. He sinks down until all but his eyes are in the water, letting it swirl around him.

He still feels a little exposed, but it's only Splinter in here, and that helps. It's like he's a little kid again, getting a bath from his dad, but he has to scrunch to cram his legs in the tub and that ruins the illusion.

"My Baby Blue always did enjoy a nice bath," says Splinter fondly, rustling up hotel soap for them to use.

He wets a washcloth and lathers it up, then cleans off the top of Leo's head and back of his neck, then down to his shoulders and the ridge of his shell. Leo would normally protest this kind of treatment, but right now he's not sure he can lift his arms above his head, so he doesn't.

Besides, it feels nice.

"Float on your front," Splinter says, adding, "Deep breath." It's what he always said when they were kids and he wanted to wash their shells. Everyone but Mikey can hold their breath for a long time, but he always says it anyway.

Leo takes a deep breath and flips onto his front, closing his eyes as his dad washes the back of his shell. It's so soothing he could almost take a nap here. The world is nicely muted under the water.

Splinter gives his shell three pats with his hand, the signal to sit back up. Leo does, rolling onto his back to rinse off. Splinter hands him the washcloth and soap, and he cleans his lower half, taking care around the bottom ridges of his shell.

"Thanks for the bath, Daddio," he says as he finishes. "I know I was starting to get pretty ripe." He pulls up the drain plug with a pop, watching the dirty water spin away.

He tries to imagine he's watching the last of that place drain away with it.

Splinter retrieves a fluffy white towel, drying off the top of Leo's head before handing it off. "I wasn't thinking of that," he says. "But I know a good bath always made you feel better when you were sick."

It was never really about the bath, but the undivided dad attention. How Splinter would wash his shell and pat his head and dry him off, just like he's doing now.

It occurs to Leo that he almost lost this forever, and its like his breath is taken away. He buries his face in the towel and tries to ride through it - he doesn't want to cry again.

Splinter must pick up on it, because suddenly he's sitting on the side of the tub, rubbing the top of Leo's shell. "It's okay, Blue. You're safe."

He's safe.

He really is safe, isn't he?

He lowers the towel and turns into his dad instead, wriggling his head into his lap. Splinter welcomes him, patting his head with one hand and the top of his shell with another. Leo's breath hitches and the tears break free.

"I know," says Splinter, and his voice is thick with emotion. Leo knows he can't look or he'll start sobbing. "I... was very scared for you, my son. I am so glad you're here, Leonardo. I love you very much."

"L-love you too," he warbles. His tears are falling fast, now, and Splinter takes the towel and dries them away every now and then.

By the time Leo sits up and rubs at his eyes, the towel is totally soaked through from being in the tub. Splinter moves away to grab him a fresh one, which Leo wraps himself up in.

"Leonardo," says Splinter hesitantly once he is out of the tub, "I know you may not want to talk about it right now. But I need to ask you this."

Leo wonders where this is going. He sits down on the toilet lid, looking at his dad. "Uh, okay."

Splinter looks him up and down before asking, "Did those men... hit you? Or touch you in any way?"

Oh. Leo shakes his head. "No. They didn't... I mean, they just put me in that room. They weren't, like... torturing me or anything."

He thought that would reassure his dad, but if anything Splinter only looks more sad.

"Not feeding you is torturing you," he says.

"Oh, well, yeah, I guess." Leo rubs the back of his head. "But I mean, they weren't... you know. Shocking me or whipping me or... putting me in that medieval stretchy thing from the movies."

"I see." His dad sighs, but nods. "Very well. I'm glad, at least, that you do not have any injuries."

Leo nods back. "Yeah, no, I'm all good." He tries to smile, but his smiles aren't really having the effect they usually do.

"Are you ready to go back?" asks Splinter, moving to the door. Leo nods again, standing up. "Are you still cold?"

Leo blinks in surprise, then realizes Splinter is referring to the towel he still has wrapped around himself. He's not really that cold anymore, but he grabs onto the convenient excuse, anyway.

"Uh, yeah." He grins sheepishly. "Actually, did you guys bring any of my clothes? I'm a little worried about the ride home."

"Ah." Splinter taps his chin. "I don't think we brought any of your things. Your brothers brought their hoodies, I believe, in case they needed to go in a store..." He reaches up and pats Leo's hand. "There is a gift shop in the motel lobby. I will send Purple and Orange in the morning - I'm sure they'd enjoy doing some shopping!"

"Thanks. I just need a sweatshirt or something. Maybe some pajama pants." He shrugs. "Gotta stay toasty, right?"

"That's right. No more turtle-cicles." Splinter reaches up and turns the doorknob, gesturing for Leo to lead the way.

Leo shuffles for the bed, keeping the towel tight around himself as he goes. He doesn't drop it until he's under the sheets again, safely tucked away.

Raph isn't back yet. The realization turns Leo's stomach. But Mikey barrels into bed next to him, cuddling up against one side, while Donnie scoots in on the other, tapping away at his phone, and Leo tries to forget about it.

He's sure that, as soon as he's better, Raph will be back to yell at him.

-----

Leo doesn't realize Draxum left until he comes back. He did doze off for a bit there, though, so it's not surprising.

Mikey was snoozing against Leo's arm, too, but when the door clicks shut he raises his head, blinking sleep out of his eyes. Donnie looks up from his phone. Splinter's asleep in the other bed, only grumbling incoherently at the noise before rolling over.

(Raph and April still haven't come back. It makes Leo's heart thud a little harder.)

"Hey Barry," says Mikey, voice still a little sleepy. He pushes himself up to sit against the pillows. "Find what you were looking for?"

"Yes." Draxum walks over to the bed, pulling a bottle out of a pharmacy bag. He twists the cap loose, then holds it out and says, "Leonardo, drink this."

Leo can't help the way his face screws up as he takes it, eyeing the label on the bottle. "Eugh. What is this?"

"Vegetable juice," Draxum informs him dryly.

"Gross." Leo does not bring the bottle any closer to his lips. "Can I have soda instead?"

"Absolutely not." Draxum's voice is stern. "No sugar or caffeine until I say otherwise."

The next several days are looking worse and worse. Leo grimaces. "Can I just drink water, then?"

"You can and should drink water. But you also need to steadily reintroduce your body to nutrients. The vegetable juice will help, until your stomach can handle more solid food at a time."

Leo groans, eyeing the bottle warily. Anything labeled "juice" should not be this color of red-orange.

"Draxum's just trying to help, Leo!" Mikey chimes in. "Besides, vegetable juice isn't that bad."

It's not the most reassuring endorsement, given that Mikey loves vegetables in a way Leo has never understood. But with his little brother cheering him on, he can't back down.

"Fine. Down the hatch," he mutters, then takes a swig. It tastes just as off-putting as he was imagining, and he shudders and smacks his lips. "Yuck."

"Sorry, Leo." Mikey pats his arm comfortingly. "As soon as Barry says it's okay, we'll get pizza!"

"Please don't remind me of pizza right now..."

"Here." Leo looks up to find Draxum is holding out a handful of crackers. "Eat these, too. Be sure you chew them thoroughly before you swallow. And keep drinking the juice."

Leo takes the crackers in his free hand, putting them in his lap on top of the sheets. There's only six, and they look boring even for crackers. but his stomach perks up with interest, reminding Leo that everything he put in it before got thrown up.

Leo thought he was going to be waiting until breakfast to eat again. The crackers ease that tension, relief he hadn't consciously realized he needed.

Still, can't let Draxum think Leo actually appreciates all his bullying, so Leo still makes a face as he holds up one of the crackers and examines it.

"And these are...?"

"Are you going to react like this to everything?" asks Draxum with a scoff. "They're whole wheat crackers. They'll settle your stomach, and you need food in you so can take these vitamins."

He pulls a bottle out of his bag and shakes it, filling the room with the sound of pills rattling around. Leo scrunches up his snout.

"You didn't get me the chewable kind? Or those fruit gummy ones?"

"Are you such a child you need your medicine in the form of candy?" Draxum rolls his eyes. "You will be just fine with the pills."

"Okay, okay!" Leo groans theatrically, leaning his head back. "I can't believe you guys are letting him take care of him. He'll be feeding me bugs and leaves next."

"Stop whining. No one wants to hear it this late."

"I actually like these crackers," says Donnie. "They're delightfully bland."

This statement is followed by a crunch.

The sound sends a shiver up Leo's shell, and he turns his head in time to see Donnie, one of Leo's crackers in his hand, a big bite taken out of it. He chews and swallows with a slight smile on his face, clearly unconcerned that he just took one of Leo's crackers.

Leo only had six crackers to start. Now there's five. He doesn't know when he gets any more. No one promised him breakfast. And now he only has five crackers, and not six. And he can feel the hunger coming back.

Donnie turns his head and they lock eyes. Leo has no idea what his own expression looks like, but Donnie's turns startled and then almost frightened. He's so shocked he drops the rest of the cracker into his own lap.

Leo just barely stops himself from snatching it back.

Because that would be weird. What he's doing right now is weird. Everyone is staring at him, the room has gone silent, he's acting like Donnie just committed an unforgivable sin when all he did was take a cracker, like the two of them haven't been casually taking each other's food their entire lives.

He's being weird. He needs to stop. He needs to go back to normal right now.

Five crackers can be enough. It's enough it's enough it's-

Leo forces his brain to restart, his face and posture to relax, his fingers to unclench. He schools his mouth into an unserious grin, glancing back at Draxum. "H-hey, so... how many crackers do I need to eat? Since Thief-atello just stole one."

"I'm sorry," Donnie blurts out, an extremely rare apology. "I wasn't thinking."

Leo waves a hand. "It's cool, man," he says.

"No," Donnie insists. "I shouldn't have done that, I don't know why I did that-"

Great, first he pisses off Raph and now Donnie's freaked out. Leo's family came all the way to Colorado to save him and all he's done since then is upset them.

"Dee," says Leo, and he knocks one shoulder against Donnie's. "Seriously. It's fine."

Because it is. They take food from each other all the time. Leo's the one who made it weird, not Donnie, even if he did take one of Leo's crackers.

Donnie looks at him, uncertain. He still hasn't touched the remaining cracker in his lap. Leo wishes he would finish eating it now, so it isn't tempting him.

"...Still. I won't do it again," says Donnie finally, looking down at his lap and wringing his hands. He looks miserable, and Leo hates that he caused this.

Before he can do or say anything more, Draxum gets Leo's attention by holding out a new cracker. "Here," he says, waiting until Leo takes it, before handing a few to the still shell-shocked Donnie. "Both of you can have crackers. Now don't squabble, you'll disturb the neighbors."

Donnie puts the crackers in his lap and doesn't touch them again. The air in the room is stifling. And Leo wants to eat his own crackers, but now it feels awkward.

"I think you should steal one of his to get him back," says Mikey in an exaggerated whisper, a gallant attempt to dispel the tension. It doesn't quite work, but it breaks the silence enough for Leo to force out a chuckle and pick up a cracker.

"Everyone eat what you've been given and settle down," says Draxum, going to sit on the other bed. Splinter mumbles in his sleep again and rolls over. Everyone relaxes a little more.

Leo bites into the cracker. It tastes like all of nothing, but it has a pleasant crunch between his teeth, and he finds that he likes it.

Next to him, Donnie hesitantly finishes off his own half-finished cracker. Then he half-heartedly eats the others. Leo drinks his vegetable juice, then swallows the pill Draxum gives him.

Mikey does his best to fill the room with happy chatter, and the mood lightens, little by little.

Everything's okay. He just can't do that again.

-----

Everyone but Draxum is asleep when Raph and April come back into the room, just a little before dawn. Splinter is splayed out across the bed closest to the door, while all three of his little brothers are curled around each other in the bed by the bathroom.

Raph and April spent a long time sitting by the barrier, talking intermittently between long spells of silence. Then they moved to the tank, taking a nap together on the bench seats.

April has her travel pillow and blanket now, and she takes both and spreads out at the foot of his brothers’ bed, wisely putting her head by Donnie, who sleeps still as the dead, and not Mikey, who has already moved several times since they walked in. She yawns and then conks out almost immediately, glasses held loosely in her hand against her chest.

Raph wishes he didn’t feel quite so wide awake.

Draxum is sitting in one of the chairs by the table, phone in hand. He has a notebook open and scribbles into it with a pen. Raph comes over and takes a peek: it’s all notes about nutrition, the vitamins that are most critically needed after a long term starvation event.

Draxum’s helping Leo. That makes Raph feel better, and he sinks into the other chair, leaning his head back.

“You should try to get some sleep,” says Draxum, voice low. “We’ll be leaving in a few hours.”

“Raph’s good,” he says, staying where he is.

He feels Draxum’s eyes on him, for a moment. “I’m taking watch. Go to sleep, Raphael.”

Raph hesitates, then gets up from the chair and goes to lay down next to his dad. Splinter grumbles in his sleep, but rolls over like he knows to make room for a son crawling into his bed.

From here Raph can see Leo’s face. It’s gaunt and washed out, and even with all the sleeping he’s done there are still dark circles under his eyes. He looks so fragile, and the anger burns in his chest again, that anyone could hurt him like this.

He’s safe now, though. Mikey has an arm curled around his plastron, and Donnie flanks his other side like a guard. He’s able to rest, and eat, and get better.

Raph remembers what April said. Give Leo time to heal, then talk about what happened in there. He can do that. He can be patient.

He hadn’t thought he would be able to sleep, but lying still, with his sleeping family all around him, safe and sound, puts him under in minutes.

-----

"Morning, Leo!"

Leo blinks awake, taking in his surroundings. The walls are beige, the bed is blue, there's a TV playing the morning news on low volume, there's sunlight shining through the window.

He can smell food.

"It's breakfast time!" says Mikey. He's standing next to the bed, holding a tray. Leo wriggles until he's sitting up against the pillows, grinning as he pats his lap.

"Thanks, Mikey."

"You're welcome!" Mikey gives Leo a thousand watt smile as he sets the tray down.

Leo wishes he could feel as enthusiastic as his little brother as he gets a look at his breakfast. There's a large cup of white yogurt, and a little plate of scrambled eggs that don't even look like they have pepper on them. He's glad he has food, he just wishes it was something more exciting.

He lifts his eyes and takes a look around the room. Donnie is in one of the chairs by the table, tapping away on his phone. April is in the other chair, and she smiles and gives him a little wave when he meets her eyes. His dad is in the other bed, munching on what looks like a muffin and watching the news. He doesn't see Raph, but he hears the shower running.

Draxum is standing by the doorway, watching Leo. When their gazes meet, he sighs, rubbing the furrow on his forehead.

"Are you going to ask me what you're eating again?"

"Yes!" Leo points at the cup of yogurt. "What is this!? It's not even fruit flavored!"

"It's Greek yogurt. You can have fruit when your stomach is more settled."

"Ugh..." Leo sighs, grabbing the plastic spoon off his tray and scooping up a tiny bite of yogurt. It's not terrible, but without any fruit it's not very exciting.

"Hey, look at the bright side," says Mikey, holding out a plastic cup. "You get apple juice this morning! Since it had no sugar added, Draxum said it's okay!"

Leo musters up a smile. "Well, it's better than vegetable juice..."

"Don't get too excited," says Draxum dryly. "You'll be drinking more on the drive home."

"You're such a buzzkill, Drax," Leo huffs, taking a bite of his eggs now. They're unseasoned, but they're something. And there's the part of him that is just happy to have any food, simmering under the surface and demanding he eat faster. To keep himself from cramming the whole of the plate in his mouth at once, he turns to Mikey. "Hey, sneak me a muffin. Blueberry or chocolate chip."

Mikey grimaces. "I don't think Barry wants me to do that..."

Leo pouts, chewing his eggs slowly. "Who are you going to listen to, him or me?"

"He'll listen to me," says Draxum sternly. "If you're still hungry after that, you can have some more crackers."

Leo sighs, but part of him feels better knowing the crackers are still on the table. He crams more eggs in his mouth and chews as sulkily as possible.

There's an Old Navy ad playing on TV. Splinter sits up straighter in bed when he sees it, getting muffin crumbs everywhere. "Ah, that reminds me! Blue wanted some warm clothes to wear on the ride home." Splinter reaches out and pats Mikey on the arm. "Orange, Purple - why don't the two of you go to the gift shop and do some shopping? You can get a souvenir for yourselves as well."

"Oooh, yes!" Mikey bounces excitedly in place. "Dibs on picking out Leo's clothes!"

"Gasp!" Donnie stands up, pointing at him dramatically. "You know I'm the fashionable one in this family! Leo, tell him you want me to pick out your clothes for our return trip!"

"Mmm, I dunno..." Leo grins up at his little brother, giving him a wink. "I think Angelo's got this."

Donnie makes a noise of utter betrayal while Mikey cheers and stoops to give Leo a hug. "I won't let you down, Leon!" he promises, giving Leo a big smooch on the top of his head.

"I know you won't."

"Fine then! I'll just have to make you all jealous with my own selections." Donnie looks down. "April, do you want to join us?"

"Yeah, sure." April stands up, stretching her arms above her head. "Maybe I'll get a keychain or something."

The three of them file out of the room, Donnie and Mikey still arguing animatedly. Draxum takes one of the abandoned chairs, and Splinter goes back to watching the news.

Leo continues eating his bland breakfast, and tries not to spend too much time wondering when his next meal will be. At least he's been promised crackers.

-----

Raph comes out of the bathroom about ten minutes later, just as Leo's finishing up his breakfast with a few crackers. He nearly jumps when their eyes meet.

"Oh, hey, Leo," he says, voice a forced cheerful. "You're awake! That's great!"

"Yeah," says Leo back, trying not to sound too awkward and failing. He holds up his empty cup. "Just finished breakfast."

"O-oh, yeah. Was it... good?"

Leo grimaces. "Not really."

"Oh." Raph hovers in the doorway, practically vibrating with nervous energy. Leo wonders if he should apologize, but he still doesn't know what he's apologizing for, so he doesn't.

He'd know if Raph would just go ahead and yell at him, but Raph doesn't seem eager to start. Maybe he doesn't think Leo is healed up enough yet, or maybe he doesn't want to do it in front of Splinter. Either way, no yelling seems forthcoming.

Instead, Raph says, "Uh, where's everyone else?"

"Shopping for clothes for Blue and for souvenirs for themselves," Splinter answers.

"Oh, cool. Maybe... maybe I'll go join 'em!"

Raph pats Leo on the head as he goes by, then leaves the room like it's on fire. Leo is silent; he has no idea what to say or do.

He's out of food now, too. He's already asked Draxum for crackers once, and he's not sure if asking again will actually gain him anything. And with Mikey gone, he feels too anxious to try.

He settles back on his pillows and turns his eyes to the TV, lifting the plastic spoon in his hands. He slots the handle between his teeth and chews, relaxing at the feel of it. It's sturdier than the water bottles, so he can't flatten it down as easily, but the way he can munch on it endlessly has its own appeal.

The news drones on. His dad laughs at something the anchors say. Draxum scribbles away at a notebook. And Leo leans back on his pillows and chews on the spoon.

On the ticker at the bottom of the screen, he notices the tail end of a news item about a training accident at a military facility in Colorado Springs - one injured.

-----

The outfit Mikey has picked out is a sky blue hoodie with "PIKE'S PEAK" in big block letters and darker blue plaid sweatpants. They meet Leo's standards for softness and comfiness, if not quite his standards for style. It's fine, because he's after the former right now.

"Did I do good?" Mikey asks, bouncing on his toes.

"You did great," Leo responds, motioning him closer so he can rub his head affectionately. It lacks his usual punch, but Mikey laughs and wiggles away anyway.

"We also got," Mikey rummages around in the gift store bag, then pulls out, "matching fuzzy socks!"

The socks are in their signature colors and have snowboarders on them, and each set has a terrible pun like, "SNOW RULES!" and "COOLER THAN COOL!" Leo loves them immediately.

"I think this is the best gift you've ever gotten me," says Leo sincerely. Mikey beams and comes in for a hug that Leo gladly returns.

"Here, put 'em on!" says Mikey after he backs away, nodding at the hoodie and pants on the bed. "You don't want to be cold, right?"

"Right," says Leo, lifting the hoodie in his arms. A quick glance around the room shows that they're all looking at him now - Mikey, Donnie, and April by the bed, Splinter from the other bed, Draxum at the table, Raph hovering in the doorway. Waiting for him to put the clothes on.

He wishes they wouldn't.

It's weird. He's never felt self-conscious like this. He and his brothers have never really practiced modesty the way humans do, especially around each other. And yet the idea of standing in front of them now with no clothes, not even his mask, makes him feel strangely queasy.

He tries to tell himself it's because of how he looks now. Stick thin arms and legs, weird, unhealthy skin tone, dark circles under his eyes that a few hours of unconsciousness and one night of intermittent sleep have definitely not erased. That it's just his normal vanity.

But he can still feel it: that guard's eyes on him, any time he left the safety of his hiding spot under his cot.

He pulls the hoodie on over his head while he's still in bed. Then he crawls out of bed and pulls the pants on as fast as he can.

He looks around to see if anyone noticed, but their expressions haven't changed. Mikey gives him a thumbs up.

He relaxes. With the clothes on, the feeling of being exposed finally ebbs away. And it is warmer like this, which is a plus.

It's okay. In a day or two, he'll be over this weird self-consciousness and back to normal, and no one has to know about it.

"Well, how do I look?" he asks, grinning and turning in a circle. Mikey and April clap indulgently for him.

"Lookin' good, Leo," says April, and he gives her a wink.

"Well, even though you chose to forego my aesthetic sensibilities, I got you something, too," says Donnie, pushing his way forward. He holds out a pair of flipflops, which say "We're in" and "CO" on the toes and have cartoon giraffes on the heels. Leo can't help but grin when he sees them. "Trust me, you'll want these if we have to go into any gas station restrooms. Shudder."

Leo laughs, then reaches out an arm to pull Donnie into a hug before he can escape. To his surprise, Donnie doesn't even put up a token fight against it, hugging him back more fiercely than usual.

"Thanks, I love them," he says into Donnie's ear.

"Of course you do," says Donnie smugly, but his eyes are suspiciously shiny when he breaks the hug. Nothing feels awkward between them now, even given the cracker incident earlier, and Leo is glad.

“Okay!” says April, clapping her hands. “Checkout’s in thirty minutes - if you have anything else to do, do it now.”

“Wait,” says Leo, looking around. “Where’s my mask?” It’d be nice for hiding the dark circles.

“Oh, I think Raph grabbed it,” says April, but when she turns, Raph is gone. April presses her fingers to her forehead and sighs. “Okay, you can get it later.”

Leo’s mouth suddenly feels dry. He reaches around and grabs a bottle of vegetable juice Draxum gave him, draining the last of it.

“Checkout in twenty eight minutes,” says Donnie to cut the awkwardness. “Let’s go, people!”

Leo sits on the bed and watches his family prepare to leave, gnawing on the top of his juice bottle.

-----

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” calls a voice, and Leo blinks awake to see April standing over his cot. No, not the cot - this is the bench seat in the tank. If he’s going to be sleeping so much, he needs to stop waking up confused.

And he has been sleeping a lot. The only time they woke him up was to eat another snack of crackers with a little bit of mushed up banana, like he’s some kind of baby.

The banana did help break up the monotony, though.

Leo can’t help but hope he’s being woken up for food again.

Like she read his mind, April grins and holds out a hand to help him up. “Lunch time!” she announces.

“Oh boy,” says Leo, taking the hand and slowly getting to his feet. He’s stiff from lying in the tank for so long, and he stretches and pops his arms. “More flavorless mush.”

“Maybe we can convince Drax to give you a little salt this time,” says April with a snicker. She waits for him to slip the flipflops on, then leads him out of the tank.

It occurs to him that this is the first time he’s really been out in the sun in over a week, excluding times he’s been unconscious and the short walk from the motel room to the tank. He takes a minute to just lean his face back and feel the warmth of it on his skin. It hasn’t even been that long, and he’s used to life underground, but somehow it feels different this time, foreign and new and sweet.

When he looks back at April, she’s tearing up again. She quickly wipes at the bottoms of her eyes and pulls on a smile, linking her arm around his.

“Come on. We can grab a picnic table and sit outside.”

It's then that Leo actually takes in where they are: a big travel center, or that's what the sign on the building declare. The tank is parked at the gas pumps, and Donnie, with his hood up, is excitedly talking about it to some interested truckers who have come over. He spots Mikey over at the grassy space for dog walking, laughing while a puppy licks his face, a seemingly annoyed Draxum standing off to the side with his arms folded. He doesn't see Raph or Splinter, but April fills him in as they cross the parking lot.

"Raph and Splints are inside ordering food. They have a whole diner in there!"

"Let me guess: I'm eating soup."

"I think it's potato."

"Well, at least it's not more tomato." Leo makes a face. "If I have to drink any more vegetable juice I'm going to turn red and swell up into a ball."

"You know what pizza sauce is made out of, right?" she asks, playfully bumping into him.

"Actually, I don't," he says smoothly, bumping into her back. They fake tussle outside the door for a moment, until both of them are laughing.

Someone trying to get past clears their throat loudly, and April and Leo shoot them an apologetic look before going on inside. Leo visits the restroom and tries not to look too long at the arrays of snacks on offer. April goes to help Raph and his dad with the food.

They all end up back outside at a large picnic table. His family has a mix of foods: burgers, hot dogs, salads, chicken strips. He knows there was pizza inside, and it touches him that no one picked it.

Next to everyone else's large, full plates, his own bowl of soup feels ridiculously small and sad. But he doubts any amount of pouting will convince Draxum to let him have a burger, so he digs in. At least this has some flavor.

Lunch is nice, even if Raph is still acting weird and distant. It’s just good being in the sun and the fresh air. Leo is reluctant to leave as they finish up.

“Come with me!” says Mikey as the others go to throw their trash away and buy anything they need for the return trip. He holds out his hand, and Leo takes it and follows Mikey back toward the grassy area at the edge of the parking lot. They make sure there are no dog droppings, then lay down in the grass, looking up at the blue sky and the clouds going overhead.

“I thought it’d be nice to get a little more sun before we have to get back in the tank,” says Mikey, limbs splayed out in every direction. He’s taken off his hoodie - no one at the travel center has paid much attention to the peeks of green skin they’ve been showing off, and no one is nearby right now, anyway.

It is a little hot. But the idea of being shirtless where a stranger can see him keeps Leo fully swaddled.

He pushes that thought aside, closing his eyes and just trying to enjoy the feeling of the sun on his skin, the breeze blowing by, the grass under his fingers. He doesn’t get to touch a lot of grass in the city, but it reminds him of times they would sneak out to Central Park.

“This is really nice, Angelo,” he says. “Thanks.”

“Mmhmmm.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes, just laying there, with only the ambient sounds of the travel center keeping them company. Leo starts to feel like he might doze off again.

“…Hey Leo?”

Leo blinks his eyes open, craning his neck to see Mikey. “Yeah?”

“Are you… okay?”

Ah. Maybe he should have expected this.

“Of course I’m okay,” he says, voice nonchalant. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Uh, well…” Mikey hesitantly trails off, clearly trying to decide what he wants to say.

Leo takes care of it for him. “It’s over, Mikey. You guys saved me. I’m okay.” He turns his head and grins. “And once Draxum stops being the food police, everything will be back to normal.”

“Mmm…” Mikey doesn’t sound as convinced as he should. Man, Leo’s smiles are really failing him lately. “But… if something’s bothering you… You’ll tell us, right?”

Leo pats his head. “Of course I will.”

If it’s worth bringing up to them, anyway.

Mikey’s eyes rove his face for a moment, but in the end he must be satisfied, because he smiles and rolls to toss his arm over Leo’s chest. “Okay. But I’ll hold you to that.”

“Or what, I’ll get a visit from the doctor?”

“You know it!”

Leo laughs, which gets Mikey laughing. They stay there until Raph calls their names across the parking lot, and they go back to the tank.

-----

He manages to stay awake after they stop for lunch, curled up on the bench seat. He doesn’t have the energy to talk as much as normal, but he leans against Donnie and contributes where he can. He’s just happy to be back with them, hearing and seeing them all around him.

But there’s something always at the back of his mind keeping him from fully relaxing: he doesn’t know when he gets to eat next. And he knows it will be okay - he’s with his family, and they’d never let him go hungry. He knows that, but about two and a half hours after lunch, he keeps finding himself returning to the same thought.

He’s drinking on a sugar-free Gatorade they got him at the travel center; one of the only non-vegetable or fruit drinks Draxum approved. Mikey has just finished up a story from one of the many art vlogs he watches, and, in the lag of conversation, he tries to broach the subject casually.

“Sooo… what’s our plan for the rest of the drive? Are we stopping, or…?”

“We’re going to try to make it all the way back to New York,” says April. “We already have our shifts picked out, and the autopilot is helping.”

“We can stop in a few more hours for another bathroom break,” says Donnie, pulling up a holoscreen showing their route and the drive time remaining. “Unless someone needs us to stop sooner.” He glances at Leo, and the way he’s bouncing the rim of the bottle off his teeth.

“Oh, uh, I’m good,” he says quickly, lowering the bottle. "I'm just wondering, uh... what about stopping for dinner?"

His family does about as good a job being subtle about looking at each other as he's being subtle about his worry. "We were thinking we'd probably try to find something around seven," says Donnie.

Seven. It's a little after three now. Okay. He can wait that long. What's four hours? And at least he knows what to expect now.

His family hesitantly return to their conversation. And Leo does his best to pay attention. April is telling them about all the stuff she's been doing to prepare for college in the fall, how she's already chatting with people running the student paper. She's excited about it, and Leo is excited for her.

"Ew, Leo," says Donnie suddenly, tearing him out of his thoughts. "Why are you doing that?"

Leo looks over at him in confusion. He starts to ask, Doing what?, but when he opens his mouth to speak, something falls out of his teeth and into his lap.

It's the Gatorade bottle cap, chewed down flat. Leo can see the marks from where his molars snapped through the lip, and the dents where he's been gnawing at it with his incisors.

He didn't even know he was doing that.

Everyone saw him doing that.

Embarrassment flushes through him, and he scrambles to grab the lid and toss it into their communal trash sack. Maybe no one noticed how thoroughly he had chewed on it.

"Gross," says Donnie, his nose scrunched up. So at the very least he saw. "You don't know where that's been."

"Oh please, it's not that gross," says Leo, doing his best to keep his voice light and airy. "It's just a bottle cap."

"That other people have touched and that you put into your mouth."

"Don't knock it till you try it, bro."

"I'm good not trying it."

"Your loss," says Leo with a shrug. He leans back, cool and calm and collected and not a total weirdo who gnaws on plastic like it's candy. "Stop looking at me like that, I threw it away already."

Donnie stops looking at him, literally. Things feel tense again. Leo doesn’t know how he keeps managing that.

Mikey jumps up, walking to the front of the tank, where Draxum is asleep in one of the chairs. Mikey shakes him awake, smiling in the face of his annoyed grumbling.

“Hey, Barry, is it okay if Leo has a snack?”

“Why do you have to ask him?” calls Leo, folding his arms. “Besides, I’m fine!”

His protests go ignored. “What time is it?” asks Draxum, sitting up and smoothing down his robes.

“I’m fine!” insists Leo, louder.

“It’s three fifteen,” Mikey says.

“Mm… Yes, he can have a snack.” Draxum gets up, going over to their snack cooler. “Leonardo, do you want crackers or more banana?”

“I’m fine!” Leo tries one more time, but his stomach flips when it occurs to him that he may actually not get a snack if he insists, and he wants the snack.

He sighs, sinking back in his seat, and says, “Crackers.” He wants the crunch of eating them.

Draxum brings him his crackers. There’s only four. He’s not sure why he’s getting less this time. Maybe because he was caught chewing on the lid.

He doesn’t ask. He eats what he’s been given, and then decides the best thing for everyone would be if he took another nap.

-----

Raph would have driven them all the way to New York if he’d been allowed. But they insist on having him swap with Donnie, and he ends up sitting in the back on the benches with because the other front chairs are hard for him to fit in.

Leo is asleep. He’s been sleeping a lot, but that’s to be expected. His body barely has any energy, and going by the dark circles, Raph knows he didn’t get much sleep while he was…

When Leo is awake, his family are their lively selves, chatting and laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Once he goes to sleep, everyone quiets down, Donnie dims the lights in the cab, and a weird melancholy sets in.

Leo looks terrible. They haven’t talked about it, but they all know it. Raph is shocked Leo has even been able to walk on his own, but Draxum attributes that to their reinforced mutant biology. He’s swimming in a hoodie that is his size, his hands and feet are skeletal where they poke out of his clothes. Raph wonders how long it will take for him to start filling out again, to have muscle like he did before. He’s afraid to ask.

Splinter sits with Leo’s head in his lap, rubbing his shell any time he shifts in his sleep. Mikey curls up against Raph and sniffles, and Raph pulls him closer.

He has to keep reminding himself that Leo is here, and safe. He just ate a snack, and soon they’ll get another meal in him. Just give it a week or two, and they’ll have their brother back.

And then, he’ll make sure Leo knows he never has to sacrifice himself again.

-----

Home looks just like Leo remembered it, and feels totally foreign at the same time.

His family clap for him as he walks in, and he does a little bow, which is a poor decision because it leaves him feeling lightheaded after. Luckily Raph is there to catch him and carry him from the garage to the chair in the living room. Things are still weird between them, but at least Raph isn't totally avoiding him.

(Raph still hasn't yelled at him. He wishes they could just get it over with.)

They eat lunch, with Leo getting bland soup and crackers again. Draxum notes that he could have peanut butter if they could have it in the lair, which makes Raph look pointlessly guilty, so Leo changes the subject. After lunch, April gives him a big hug and tells him she'll see him soon, but she has to go back home before her mom gets too worried. Leo feels bad when he learns she's missed several days of class now, but she just laughs and pats his head.

"I'm a senior and it's May, Leo; that I show up at all is enough for them."

Everyone's tired from being on the road for over twenty four hours, so after April leaves they unanimously agree on a movie marathon/turtle pile in the living room. His brothers drag out their comfiest pillows and blankets and set up in the floor, while Splinter cuddles up with Leo in his recliner. Draxum actually stays, to everyone's surprise, and Mikey jumps at the opportunity to introduce him to the magic of Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim.

Leo drifts in and out the whole evening. He'll be awake for the whole first act of a movie, then blink and suddenly they're partway through a different film. Each time he wakes his dad is there, patting his hand and saying, "Hello, Blue," and his brothers are around him, quoting their favorite lines or jumping up to act along with their favorite parts. It's normal and it's familiar and it's warm and soft.

He eats more soup for dinner, and crackers and banana and a little pudding cup, as a treat. His family gets more sleepy as evening turns to night; his dad's snoring fills the room, and Draxum finally leaves to go to his apartment. His brothers settle in and fall asleep around the middle of Jupiter Jim's Last Trip to the Moon 17, curled up in a heap at the foot of the chair.

He's home.

He's really home.

It's over.

Leo buries his face in his dad's fur and lets that thought carry him to sleep.

-----

Leo's home and it's amazing.

Raph wishes that meant everything was back to normal.

He doesn't know how to be around Leo right now. Every time he looks at him, he sees the stick thin arms and the gaunt face and he hears Leo's voice saying, That's not what a hero would do, and he doesn't know what to say anymore. What if he accidentally says something that makes Leo feel like what happened to him was right? What if he accidentally makes Leo think he should do it again?

It's only been a day, he tries to tell himself. Leo's still spending most of his time sleeping, between his regular snacks and meals. Even when he's awake, he doesn't have much energy for conversation, seeming content to just sit and listen to everyone else. It's just not the right time. It'll get better once Leo is better.

He can wait until then.

It's the afternoon now, the day after they brought Leo home. Raph just finished his workout and is making his rounds to check on everyone, just to make sure that everyone is... well, just to make sure. Splinter is in the kitchen making tea, a kind with no caffeine or sugar, as per Draxum's instructions. Mikey and Leo are in the living room, a half-asleep Leo watching Mikey play video games on the projecter.

Donnie isn't there.

His heart lurches, no matter how much he tells himself it's okay. Donnie is fine, Donnie is home, Donnie hasn't gone missing, not right after they got Leo back.

(He'd tried to tell himself Leo was fine in the beginning, too.)

He checks their rooms first, but Donnie's is empty. Then it's up to the lab, where he finds the door closed.

He knocks, and a robotic voice asks for identification. He sighs, not wanting to play this game right now.

"Donnie, it's me. You better be in there..."

The door beeps and then slides up, revealing a dimly lit lab. At first, Raph thinks he must not be here, and he's about to turn to leave, but then he hears a noise from Donnie's big computer desk.

A sniffle.

His big brother senses shifting into hyperdrive, he speed-walks over. The door slides shut behind him with a mechanical whir.

Sure enough, Donnie is there, legs pulled up into his desk chair, face buried in his knees. His goggles are off and laying on the desk, and his computer monitor shows a video, frozen on...

A white room, almost empty, save the cot that is for some reason propped up in front of the toilet, and...

Donnie sniffles again, and Raph tears his eyes away from one little brother to the other.

"Donnie...? What is this?"

Donnie sniffs and sits up a little more, rubbing under his eyes where tear tracks are already drying. "It's the surveillance video from the EPF base."

Raph gathered that much. "Why... are you watching it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Donnie looks up at him. "I wanted to see what they did to him."

"You couldn't just ask him?"

Donnie's drawn on eyebrows go down. "I don't know, do you want to ask him?"

Raph imagines trying to ask Leo questions like that and can't help but cringe. "Okay, no. Raph doesn't want to do that."

"Exactly." Donnie gestures at the screen. "I got this footage from the base. And I erased it permanently from their systems, for the record, and destroyed the hard drives to be sure. But I kept a copy for us. I thought, if Leo wasn't in a state to... well, just in case. We might need it for medical reasons."

"But we know what's wrong with him," Raph points out.

"Do we?"

"Uh, yeah." Raph nods. "Starvation... right?"

"Well, yes." Donnie drums his fingers on the table. "But... he's different, now. He's pretending he's not, and he's doing his normal Leo thing of joking and smiling, but... he is." Donnie scowls. "And I already asked Michael to confirm my suspicions, and he said so, too, so I know this isn't me overreacting!"

"Okay, okay!" Raph holds up his hands placatingly. "So you wanted to watch the footage to see what happened. What'd you find out?"

Donnie wilts, resting his chin on his knees. "I couldn't get further than the first twenty four hours."

Raph feels a foreboding chill run over his spine. "You couldn't... or you didn't want to?"

Donnie reaches over and presses a button. The footage shifts to a different angle, so now he can see the wall Leo was curled up against. Donnie runs the footage back at a fast speed, and Raph watches as Leo gets up a few times, disappearing into the blind spot of the camera, or going to grab water from a little slot by the door, until Donnie freezes on a new scene: the wall opening up to reveal a large window.

He leans forward, putting his hands on the desk. "Raph saw that - they were watching his cell through that."

"Yes. And he would sit in that spot," Donnie runs the footage forward a bit, to where Leo is sitting against the now white wall, "because it's in a blind spot to the window."

Raph grimaces. "He didn't want them watching him."

"But it didn't matter," says Donnie, and he reaches over and taps the button to go to a new angle... and again... and again. "They have every inch of the room covered."

Raph's heart sinks. "Does he know?"

"Leo's not dumb," says Donnie, a magnanimous statement coming from him. "He knew they had to be watching him with cameras."

"But he still tried to hide..."

"He was doing whatever he had to to feel better," concludes Donnie.

Raph sighs. "I wonder if it worked."

Donnie clicks another button, and the video player closes. He swivels his chair to face Raph, his eyes shiny again.

"I don't want to watch anymore," he admits.

Raph nods. "I wouldn't want to, either."

"No, I mean... because he was trying to hide." Donnie rubs at his eyes again. "Maybe it is a little ironic for me to be saying this, but... it feels like it would be a privacy violation."

Raph turns that over. Maybe knowing what happened to Leo could help them. But what Donnie is saying feels more important.

He puts his hand on Donnie's shoulder, the part that's bare past his battleshell, and gives it a rub. "You love him and you don't want to hurt him," he concludes.

Donnie sniffles again, and then uncurls himself, putting his legs down on the ground. He doesn't have to do more than that for Raph to catch on, and Raph scoops Donnie up into a hug that is quickly returned.

"...I keep hurting him," Donnie admits, resting his head on Raph's shoulder. "I don't know how, but it keeps happening."

"...Yeah, well, join the club," says Raph sadly. He pats at Donnie's back. "Raph can't seem to say the right thing, either."

Donnie laughs miserably. "I thought getting him back would be the hard part. And then everything would go back to normal."

"Yeah..." Raph gives him a tight squeeze. "But you know what April said?"

"What?"

"That we'll do the hard part, 'cause we love him."

"Well, April is the only other smart one in this family," says Donnie, and Raph gives him a noogie with no actual pressure.

"Everything will be okay," he says. "Raph promises."

That seems to calm Donnie down. Raph just hopes he can actually keep it.

-----

It's his first night back in his room, and for the first time since escaping, Leo can't sleep.

He doesn't know why he can't. The sheets are the same as always. The dim lights from outside his subway car filter in through the windows the same as they used to. He's wearing his favorite pajamas, which have pants and long sleeves. The temperature is warm but not too hot. Conditions are perfect.

But he can't sleep.

At first he thought maybe it's because he's alone for the first time, but he doesn't think it's that. In fact, the idea of going to one of his brothers or his dad makes him feel even more exhausted. He loves them and he loves being around them, but he's had to work hard all day to not seem too weird. He caught himself chewing his spoon at lunch and had to stop. He paced the kitchen until Draxum gave the okay for him to have a snack. Mikey poked his head in while he was changing shirts earlier and he froze up, deer in the headlights. In the end, he went to the bathroom to change, because at least there aren't windows in there.

He's being weird, and trying to not be weird is taking all his energy.

So no. He's okay being alone right now. But something is still bothering him.

It's not the bed; he slept in the motel just fine. It's not the temperature, because they're making sure the lair stays nice and warm for him. And it's not the clothes, because the clothes are covering him up. And it's not the windows because it's not even like anyone is looking through them.

Right?

It's only then that Leo realizes he keeps staring out of them.

He tears his eyes away to look at the ceiling, taking deep breaths. What is he worried about? So what if the train car is full of windows? Who would even be looking at him? It's just his family outside, and if they need to talk to him they'll come in.

Besides, the windows are see-through. If someone were looking at him, he'd be able to see them.

Just to reassure himself of that, Leo looks around at all the windows again.

Yep. Still see-through. So it's fine. It's really not a big deal! No one is going to look through the windows at him here. No one is watching him. He's safe, and if he weren't, he would know, because he can see.

...Maybe he could hide under his bed.

Leo gives his head a hard shake. No. He is not going to hide under his bed, because that would be weird, and Leonardo Hamato is not weird.

Maybe he can just... put up some curtains in his room. Just, purely for aesthetic reasons. Yeah, that would look really cool. He could get some blue ones with some kind of sick design. Add some real originality to this place.

And then he could cover the windows and no one could look in unless he wanted them to.

Not that anyone is looking in, because he's home and he's safe and he's okay and he really wants to hide under his bed-

He takes deep breaths. His eyes land on the posters on the wall of the train car.

Maybe... maybe they would look better over the windows. Just... aesthetically.

He moves the posters to the windows of the train car, pressing hard to get the old tape to stick. It covers the immediate windows around his bed, but there are still others, and they're more in the dark, so Leo can't see who might be out there.

Not that anyone would be.

But if someone were, he wouldn't be able to know.

So he grabs towels next, and t-shirts, and anything he has lying around his room, and puts them on the bed. Then he sneaks to the kitchen to find a roll of masking tape.

It's not easy, but after about an hour he's managed to cover every window in the train car with something.

Just... a preview. For how sweet the curtains are going to look. And not for any weird reasons, like being scared.

Because he's not scared. He's home, and he's safe, and no one is watching him from outside the windows.

He lays down in bed and surveys his handwork. The room is even darker now, with every window covered, completely different from the stark ever-present light in that place.

It makes him feel safe and hidden.

No one can look in, and he's shielded by the dark.

(He has no idea how he's going to explain this tomorrow.)

But when he finally shuts his eyes, he sleeps like a baby.

-----

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (here) | Part 4 Part A

[tenjikyu]

So! My birthday's coming up here soon, and as you know, I am very obsessed with tokyo revengers. Therefore, here is my first request to you :)

How about headcanons on how mitsuya, sanzu, angry, smiley, and mikey would celebrate reader's birthday? preferably romantic but platonic is okay too. If you don't want to write all of them, you can choose a few to get rid of. These guys are my favorites so I couldn't not include them ♡

Sorry if there's not a lot of info to go off of!

— 🎭

𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴!

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ multiple x gn!reader, excessive fluff and humour, we love the toykorev boys they’re adorable, i hope you like ghibli because it’s referenced in angry’s.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ happy birthday !! it took me a hot minute bc i needed to re-remember the tokyo rev characters and their personalities but i’m back on track now people. i was worried about getting this out late so i ended up removing smiley from the request but i did my best for everyone else(i’m very sorry 😭). I REALLY HOPE YOU GET THIS BEFORE YOUR BIRTHDAY AND IF NOT, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY 🎭 ANON

takashi mitsuya.

༄ takashi could NEVER EVER let your birthday JUST be your birthday, he always does something extra special for you on your special day.

༄ it starts off with a special birthday morning call, an online kiss and a promise to take you out at 10:00.

༄ mitsuya lets you enjoy a nice breakfast with your family if you wish to, and comes to pick you up after you’ve gotten ready for the day ahead!

༄ pulling up on his motorcycle, he gives you your special helmet (that he chose in your favourite colour), and takes you for a morning bike ride around the city.

༄ he eventually leads you to a serenic park with good shade and sun leaking through the trees.

༄ no matter if your birthday takes place in a warm or cold season, mitsuya makes the best of a picnic in the park! he brings beverages and home baked goods that his sisters helped make just for you!

༄ mitsuya is the type to make something personal and thoughtful, so i believe a birthday gift from him would include a heartfelt letter, special chocolates, and a crochet stuffed animal with a bow on it! he prides himself in his efforts, seeing the huge smile on your face as you open your special gift.

༄ he takes you back to his home, in which you’re overrun by his younger sisters who were elated to see you. you’re their favourite person (besides their big brother), so it was hard to wrangle them off of you.

༄ mitsuya makes you your favourite dish as a birthday dinner, where all four of you sit down and ramble on about your day, as well as anything that comes to the two girls minds.

༄ as the end of your birthday approaches, luna and mana have to be pried off your leg with whines begging you to stay the night. once you’re out the door however, mitsuya tells you he wants to walk you home.

༄ once he drops you home, he kisses you goodnight and makes sure you’re in doors before he walks off, silently fisting the air in success on your special day.

manjiro sano.

༄ i don’t think mikey would forget your birthday, but i can totally see him leaving plans to the last minute. he’s not a very organised soul after all.

༄ at the ripe time of 7:00 in the morning, you’re promptly awoken by a knock on your window. to your surprise, manjiro was wide awake (which is a rarity) and informs you that you will not be attending school today, but instead going on a “birthday adventure” with your “beloved boyfriend”.

༄ thankfully your family was planning to give you the day off regardless, so you rush to get ready (in your tired state as it is), and head out to meet up with your blonde boyfriend.

༄ as you walk out the door, you’re incased in a bear hug by mikey, as he excitedly shows off the silly little flowers he (didn’t) pay for. they were your favourite flowers, and they didn’t seem cheap, however you decided against bringing it up and enjoyed the fresh scent in the early breeze.

༄ much like mitsuya, mikey takes you for a drive, however this is because he’s taking you to an all-you-can-eat-buffet! manjiro tells you it’s because they have good breakfast & lunch choices, however you know it’s an excuse to stuff his mouth.

༄ regardless, the both of you enjoyed a nice breakfast together, before manjiro takes you onto the next phase of the birthday date.

༄ you’re surprised when he pulls up to the local aquarium, with two premium tickets in hand. by premium, you mean you get an exclusive front row seat for any show you wish to see, as well as close access to certain life living there.

༄ walking around the aquarium, manjiro sneaks cute pictures of you looking into the glass and admiring the life around you, from the illuminated jellyfish to the dolphins exhibit, your boyfriends eyes hardly left your face, making sure your smile lingered.

༄ after the end of the date, you head over to the little souvenir shop, where mikey buys you a plushie of your choice. of course, you attempt to deny but he won’t let you.

༄ by the end of your date, manjiro drops by his home so you can see his sister. elated, emma jumps into your arms and welcomes you in, where she makes everyone a special dinner for you all.

༄ on the drive back to your home, manjiro silently thanks whatever being graced his life with your presence, even when your fast asleep on his shoulder with drill beginning to dribble.

angry.

༄ a gentle soul like angry has everything planned out. he has his brother give him his honest (and brutal) opinions on how to make this the PERFECT date.

༄ your day starts off usually, your family celebrates your birthday and gives your your presents and a good breakfast, you get ready for school and you get a sweet good morning call from your beloved boyfriend.

༄ as you leave your house, you see angry parked outside your home, and he tells you that he’s gonna be your personal taxi driver to school today!

༄ like a true gentleman, he wraps your arms around his torso and gives you a helmet to protect yourself, he waves your family goodbye and sets off to your school.

༄ as the school day passes you by, you get another message from the man of the hour, letting you know he’s gonna take you out for the remainder of the day.

༄ you wave your friends goodbye, and meet up with your boyfriend, who greets you with his signature frown.

༄ as you ride around, you soon find yourself in what seems to be a ghibli café. you smile in excitement, rushing in to see what it looked like inside.

༄ a massive totoro plushie greets you, and you see all the ethereal artwork studio ghibli offers hung across the walls.

༄ you sit down with your boyfriend, and order some themed food based on your favourite movies. you see howls moving castle themed furniture, a no-face holographic hovering around, the production of ponyo explained on a little TV, as well as a little kiki on her broom flying around the café.

you get heaps of photos, however you boyfriend only admires the look of admiration on your face, knowing how hard it is to reserve a seat in this café.

after you enjoyed your meal, he takes you home once again on his bike, driving safely (for once) and drops you home, but not before gifting you a keychain of no-face you were admiring from the souvenir shop.

༄ your smile increasing in size, you clip it to your bag, before ksiing angrys cheek goodnight and running in doors.

haruchiyo sanzu.

༄ sanzu is a “actions speak lourdes then words” kinda dude, so he takes you out on a date to the museum!

༄ he wakes you up via ringing the doorbell, and being invited in by your mother (who dearly loves your boyfriend).

༄ sanzu shares a breakfast with your family, takes photos with you and then lets you go get dressed for your little date.

༄ as you enter into the museum, you see all sorts of preserved artworks and sculptures in your line of sight, filling your vision to the brim.

༄ regardless of this being your forté or not, the museum never fails as a good date spot.

༄ you go from room to room, carefully in taking all the information on the little plasters. from painting to painting, you find yourself immersed and drawn in, all the while your boyfriend held onto your hand.

༄ sanzu allowed you to go at your own pace, not caring much for it but knowing it was entertaining you, so it was enough for him.

༄ tugging him around like a dog, you find yourself in the museum for hours before you leave the premises. sanzu asks if you enjoyed yourself, and you giddily replied you loved it.

༄ you didn’t know it at the time, but he sniped a cute photo of you looking at a large painting and made it his personal background for his phone, admiring it as he took you to lunch.

༄ after lunch, sanzu informs you that he has business to attend to, but regrets it as soon as the dejected look crossed your face, hoping to spend the full day with him.

༄ without hesitation, sanzu lets you know it’s quick business that shouldn’t take an hour or so, and drops you off at a mall with your friends to enjoy yourself, and lets you know he’ll pick you up to drive you home.

༄ as the evening sets and you wave your friends goodbye, sanzu meets up with you. you rush into his arms, and he holds onto you dearly.

༄ he takes you in a late night drive as a way to make up for missing out on part of your day, however you reassure him that it’s nothing and allow him to ramble, something he rarely does.

༄ as he drops you home, you place a gentle kiss to his nose, and tell him you’ll see him later, leaving him slightly flustered.

༄ what have you done to him.

[hotheadedhero]

Hello, could you create a headcanon for ROTTMNT about what it would be like to date Leo, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie (separately) and what the pros and cons of those relationships would be?

AN: Ooh~ Yes, I like this! It's not completely sunshine and rainbows, after all :0

Pros/Cons of Your Relationship

Rise Turtles x Reader

Raphael

Pros:

Considering the sheer size of this magnificent creature, the hugs and cuddles you get are beyond comparison. There's nothing quite like starting/ending your day by being wrapped up in those glorious green muscles.

Is deliberately gentle due to his immense strength and has a great amount of self-restraint in his physicality when interacting with you, even when he gets wildly excited. Such as any time you visit him in the lair and he barrels towards you. It seems like it'll be a harsh impact and then he stops at the last second to avoid knocking you over. Adorable.

Never have to worry about being in danger with him around. This big lug will make sure you're in safe hands no matter the location, no matter the time of day.

Raph is unabashedly tender and kind. He'll be hesitant to say anything hurtful towards you and as such is careful with his words, especially when it comes to criticisms.

Cons:

May get slightly overbearing with how protective he is. He isn't being inherently controlling and his heart is in the right place but you wish he wouldn't worry so much, as sweet as it is.

Need to be careful leaving him alone for too long given his risk for going into savage mode. Can come across as rather clingy because of this.

Much like certain disagreements he has with his brothers, he sometimes has a hard time admitting when he's wrong. However, it's never usually about anything too serious but it can cause it's strains.

Leonardo

Pros:

Always knows how to make you laugh and tries his best to do such when you're feeling down. Some of his jokes are admittedly pretty terrible but you can't deny the fact that even the bad ones coax a smile out of you.

Enjoys spontaneity. Even if you're the type of person that struggles with getting out there or knowing what to do for the day, Leo always has something under his sleeve. Just call him the master of fun.

Whilst he's a jovial character, that doesn't mean he can't have his more serious moments, nor is he always completely blind-sighted to things if they seem too good to be true. Sure, he gets you two into shenanigans but he'll have your back if things seem awry.

Has also been shown to try to reconcile his mistakes and be sympathetic towards your plights, especially if he ends up being the cause of them. It may take him a moment or two to figure it out but he always finds a way to make right by you for his mistakes.

Cons:

Has an almost incessant need for attention and can come across as quite conceited. You find that he prioritises his own entertainment, so planning dates can often feel one-sided and uneven in mutual enjoyment.

Doesn't always know how to take things seriously, which can lead to your fair share of arguments.

Is known to be a compulsive liar and will engage in frequent fibbing when he worries about getting into trouble with you. With this, Leo can be disingenuous as it is not unusual for his charisma to take the form of false flattery just to get into someone’s good graces. Having become aware of this, it's sometimes difficult to take his compliments towards you as true.

Donatello

Pros:

Treats you like the absolute royalty you are. Being his loved one, he makes a point of giving the treatment he feels that you deserve. Whether that be programming S.H.E.L.D.O.N to give you special attention or hiding the last pizza box for you to share, he always makes you feel like number one.

Is always willing to help you out, no matter the issue. Donnie is a problem solver, at the end of the day, and will work on a solution to aid you. No job is too big or too small.

He is all about gestures of grandiose proportions, loving the dramatics as much as he himself is dramatic. His aptitude for being extravagant means that birthdays, Christmases, and anniversaries are often met with awe-inspiring displays of affection.

While he perceives himself as being emotionless, in reality, he is far from it. It isn't uncommon for him to become irritated, such as when he doesn't feel as though others listen to or appreciate his intelligence. That's why it means the world when he opens up to you about his transgressions.

Cons:

Unintentionally has a habit of being condescending or patronising towards you. You are aware that he is highly intelligent and that you won't always know the answer to something, but he needs to keep in mind that he isn't right about everything.

When he gets absorbed in his work, it's as though the entire world around him ceases to exist. This means that getting his attention can be difficult and often times you are left waiting until he's finished.

Despite his openness with you, your genuine adoration of his abilities isn't always met with gratitude. He longs for such praise but it carries more weight if it comes from respective elders. This unintentionally has you feeling irrelevant or that your opinion doesn't matter.

Michelangelo

Pros:

Makes killer meals for you. There doesn't have to be a special occasion for him to get passionately creative in the kitchen for you. He always goes all out to make sure your pallet is satisfied.

Best believe he encourages you to add some colour to your wardrobe and helps you pick out outfits. He's supportive of your choices and loves any excuse for a good fashion show.

He absolutely hates being dishonest to those he loves most and best believe that includes you. One might view it as a con but the fact that he dislikes lying means you never have to worry about him hiding something from you. It does make surprise birthday parties difficult to hide but you win some, you lose some.

Mikey is an intuitive family man and wants to keep you and everyone on good terms with one another. He acts as a brilliant mediator, keeping things fair and unbiased when assisting in such resolves.

Cons:

Sometimes he's a bit brash with conversations that involve telling you about particular problems. You appreciate the irony of 'Dr. Delicate Touch' but that persona is in dire need of a name change.

Being the youngest of his brothers, he may have certain complexes where doing tasks or upholding responsibilities are concerned. Even if it's obvious that something requires an extra pair of hands, he may refuse your help because of his need to prove himself.

Is easily frightened and often retreats into his shell instead of confronting the threat. This includes any challenges that may come from you, as well. You appreciate his fear of conflicts but he can't always hide away when something important needs to be discussed.

At the end of the day, no one is perfect. Far from it, in fact, but you take each other for what you are. As long as you're both happy and know how to have constructive conversations about glaring issues, there isn't anything to worry about <3

[sarathrwizard]

I wrote a 9 part story that tells you exactly how my camping trip went!

I don't normally write novels, but I thought I'd give it a try!

For context, I went camping for a week and I wrote how my day went from beginning to the end. Every. Single. Day!

And of course I used tmnt characters. The story focuses on Donnies perspective, (aka me) and all the good and bad things that happened.

Oh how I wish I could have made some of this stuff up, but it is actually the PAINFUL truth.

So under the cut, you can read the first part titled, 'Arrival'

I don't know, I guess I'll call the series '7 Day Camp Stay' (it's the first thing I came up with.)

Hope you enjoy!

7 Day Camp Stay

Arrival:

'You spend too much time on technology!' They said.'

'You should go camping!' They said.'

'It'll be fun!' They said!'

'Well, here we are! Pitching tents at 10-o-clock at night at 41 degrees Fahrenheit, which is 5 degrees Celsius!'

Donnie internally screamed. knocked his knees together and folded in his fingers under his arms.

'I'm cold, I forgot to eat lunch, so I'm hungry as well!'

Donnie's stomach growled as a shiver ran up his spine. Leo saw Donnie hug his stomach.

"Uhh, guys? I think we should get those sandwiches made!"

Mikey raised an arm and saluted. He ran past Donnie and handed him a mallet. Mikey and Raphs tent was up. Now all they had to do was set up Leo and Donnie's tent. Donnie sighed and started putting up the tent. It wasn't too hard... except for the fact he drove the steaks through the wrong holes. Donnie groaned and drew the steaks out to be pounded through the correct loop.

Next step was feeding the fiberglass poll through the sleeve. He raised it up till both ends of the poll were set in place. Then the second poll... oh. you have to put both polls in while it's flat... of course.

Now Donnie was grumbling, like his stomach which did NOT have to remind him yet again how hungry he was.

Finally, he finished putting the tent up. He crawled inside and laid down. Looking up, he could see all the stars glittering the night sky. He felt so very tired. Donnie honestly just wanted to go to sleep in his nice, warm bed. But no. He was out in the cold in a thin fabric tent, and a stomach that was still screaming for food. Donnie groaned.

"Donnie! The sandwiches are done!"

Mikey called out. Donnie sat up and crawled out of the tent. Making sure to zip it up tight. The last thing he would want is a giant garden spider in his sleeping bag.

Donnie slowly walked over to the picnic table. The only light illuminating the area was from a small led lantern over head, hung on a pretty precarious nail. Donnie took his plate and sat away from under the swinging lantern.

Donnie looked at the food with a raised eyebrow. Between those two slices of bread was a funny little sandwich with turkey and avocado. It was... okay. To say the least. Donnie looked around to see everyone else smiling. But why wasn't he happy? Why did he not find joy from being in the outdoors? Why wasn't he excited to sleep In a tent like everyone else? Why couldn't he be happy? The thoughts and emotions were making it hard to swallow down his food. He quickly finished it though before anyone could notice.

"I-I'm heading to the restrooms."

"Okay, do you know where they are? do you need help finding them?"

"No! No... Raph. I know where they are. Thank you."

He grabbing the blue bar of soap in it's blue plastic travel container and rushed off to the nearest restroom. They weren't that far away. But in the dark, and with the wild dogs barking in the distance, it suddenly felt much farther than it actually was.

He rushed over to the men's side of the restrooms and opened the door, quickly slipping inside. The lights automatically turned on due to movements. It was clean, to say the least. The door slammed behind him, making him jump slightly. He rubbed his hands together, either from the cold, or his anxiety picking up a bit, he wasn't sure. He went into a stall and locked it shut. He crawled into a corner of the stall and curled into a ball, wrapping his arms around himself.

"I don't want to be here!"

Donnie whispered to himself. A small whimper escaped his throat.

"I don't want to be here!"

The whimpers soon turned into quite sobs. Tears started falling down his cheeks. He normally didn't cry, but everything felt wrong at that moment. Suddenly the restroom door opened with a loud creek. Donnie's breath hitched. He covered his mouth with his hands, hoping to stop any sound from escaping.

"Donnie? You in here?"

Raph called out in a calm tone. Donnie quietly took a breath in, in hopes it would steady his voice.

"Yeah, just... using the bathroom!"

Donnie's nose started to drip. Out of habit, he sniffled. This raised Raphs big brother tingles.

"You doing okay?"

"Yeah, yeah! I'm doing fine! Just... just give me a minute."

"Okay."

Raph slowly closed the door, gently latching it shut. Donnie took a deep breath in and rubbed his knees with his cold hands. He wiped the tears away with his coat sleeves and washed his hands.

Slowly he exited the restroom. Raph was there waiting for him. Donnie shifted his eyes to the ground.

"I'm fine."

Donnie confirmed. Raph lifted one of his arms out from his hoodie pocket and reached out towards him. Donnie slowly walked into his offered hug and excepted the brief touch. Raph wrapped his arm around Donnie and gave him a gentle shoulder rub. Raph wasn't going to ask questions if Donnie wasn't willing to talk about it. They walked back to the campsite. No words were exchanged.

Okay! Phew! That was a bit! But I hope you enjoyed it!

Stay tooned for the first actual full day at camp!

Lord bless you, and have a wonderful day!

Next

[shinskichan]

synopsis: reader is playing the “what if” challenge with them, in which one person suggests a hypothetical scenario and the other responds with another what if.

characters: Mikey, Sanzu, Kakucho, Koko, Ran, and Rindou

notes: fluff, crack, mention of death, profanities, mention of exes, mention of killing, suggestive what-ifs, petnames (babe, love, doll, baby)

It was finally Mikey's day off, and you had been convincing him to do this challenge since last week. He had been hesitant, saying it was nonsense, but you didn't give up until he finally agreed.

MIKEY

"I don't see the benefit of this," he said, leaning on the couch. You teased him, saying, "I just want to fight right after this," to which he side-eyed you, and you both laughed. "Try me," he said, looking you straight in the eye. "Your wish is my command," you said as you chuckled, but he rolled his eyes.

"You know this is so lame, how about we just… make love?" he whispered, and you playfully hit his arm as he chuckled. "Mikey!" you warned him, and he put his hands up, saying he was kidding. You held his hand, which interlocked with yours, as you cleared your throat.

He asked, "Who goes first?" looking at you. "I'll go first," you said, and he nodded as you chuckled.

"What if I am just pretending that I love you because I'm scared of you?" you said, looking at him. You saw how his jaw clenched as he tilted his head, but you just laughed. You could tell he was thinking hard about his response.

"What if every time I tell you I'm working, I'm really having fun with another girl?" he shot back, and your eyes widened in surprise. You admitted that it was a good one, and he just chuckled.

"What if all this time I'm just waiting for you to let go?" you said as you looked at him, and he nodded his head. "What if I just settled with you because I don't have a choice?" he said, and you laughed, saying, "What are you talking about? You've got a lot of choices!" You playfully hit him.

"What if I am secretly meeting with your executives right after visiting you?" you shot back, laughing when his face grew gloomy.

"What if I shot him so that you couldn't do that?" he said, seeming nonchalant about it, which made you laugh as you gently pushed his face. "What if every time I say 'I love you,' it's not you whom I am thinking of?" you teased, looking at him, and he nodded.

"What if I punish you after this? How do you like that?" he asked, grinning, and you said, "What if I don't want to?" You both laughed."Who thought about this stupid challenge? It was you," he said, pinching your nose.

"Be honest, was it half meant?" he asked you, which made you laugh. "What makes you say that?" you asked. "What if you're really pretending that you love me? What if you're just really waiting for me to let you go?" he asked as he threw himself at you, and you quickly hugged him.

"I'm going to kill myself, for real," he said, which made you hit him. "I love you for real, dumbass," you said, and he looked up to you, and you kissed him.

 

SANZU

"You don't have a choice," you said with a grin as you pulled him out of bed. He groaned about wanting to rest, but you persisted. "Come on, let's do this. I promise I'll treat you after," you added coaxingly, and he finally relented and sat down.

"Don't take this seriously! This is just a what-if," you warned him, but you couldn't stop laughing. "Then let's just not do this," he said, but you glared at him, so he just sighed.

"You go first," you said, pointing at him. "This is really stupid," he said as he sighed, but you just laughed. "Go ahead," you said, and it took a while before he thought of something.

"What if whenever I tell you I can't come home, I'm really at another girl's house?" he said, which caught you off guard, and you reluctantly hit his arms, but he just laughed. "What the fuck, Sanzu?" you said as you chuckled.

"Come on, this is what you want, right? It's your turn," he said as he chuckled."What if I am just really forced to love you?" you asked while laughing. "Really? With this face and good body, you'll be forced?" he asked, leaning close to you. You gently pushed his face away while laughing and said, "Stop saying anything, babe. Go on," still laughing.

"What if I am actually making out with your friend?" he said as he laughed out loud. You glared at him, but he just laughed like he had won the challenge.

"What if I still love my ex?" you said with confidence, which made his smile fade away, and you laughed.

"What if I shot his skull right here right now?" he said seriously, and you broke out laughing as you hit him with a pillow.

"Calm down, this is just a 'what if'," you said, still laughing, but he wrapped his arms around your waist and carried you on top of him. "Stop with this bullshit already. It's not funny," he said, and you laughed as you kissed his neck.

 

KAKUCHO

As you both sat at the restaurant, enjoying your meal, you suddenly came up with an idea. "Baby, let's play the 'what if' challenge. Do you know that?" you asked him. He looked surprised, but he nodded. "As in right now?" he asked, still unsure. "Yes, right now," you confirmed with a smile.

"I don't want to," he said as he wiped the edge of your lips with his thumb. You pouted, but he continued, "Come on, you're just looking for a fight." You chuckled. "You think I'm making this an excuse for an argument later on?" you asked, and he nodded.

“You shouldn't get annoyed," you added. "No, you should tell that to yourself," he retorted, making you hit his arm playfully.

But you weren't going to give up that easily. "Come on, I'll go first," you said, and he had no choice but to agree.

"What if I went to the bar last night and hooked up with someone?" you asked, trying not to laugh as you watched his serious expression. "I know you wouldn't do that," he replied, making you elbow his arm.

"Your turn," you prompted. "I can't think of anything," he said with a shrug, and he continued to eat. "Don't be so corny," you teased, glaring at him. "What if I'm getting tired of you?" he said out of nowhere, and you nodded. "Then get some rest," you replied, and you both laughed.

"What if before we even dated, I just planned on making you fall for me and my true purpose was to cause you pain?" you said, trying to stir things up. He just nodded, unfazed. "It's fine then," he said, making you laugh and hit his arm. "What do you mean?" you asked, still laughing. "You're always fighting with me, even when I didn't do anything," he explained. "And I chose to love you, even with the risk of getting hurt," he added seriously. Why are you so serious, bro?" you said, and he glared at you, which made you chuckle.

"What if every time you're not coming home, I'm bringing someone into our house?" he said, trying to make you jealous. You gave him a death glare, and he quickly laughed. "What if I just agreed to date you out of fun? I don't really love you," you said, trying to see his reaction. He just smiled and sipped his drink. "That's good, we have fun together," he said, making you both laugh.

"What if I actually hooked up with the girl you're jealous of?" he said, trying to push your buttons further. You slowly looked at him with piercing eyes, and he quickly said, "Look at your face; I told you I don't want to do this," while laughing. "Fuck you!" you said, playfully pinching his arm.

"What if we just break up?" you said suddenly, trying to end the game. He quickly gave you a hug while still laughing hard. "No way, I can't live without you," he said, making you smile and hug him back.

 

KOKONOI

"Are you down?" you asked him as you gently took out all the food from the paper bag after your drive-thru. He nodded quickly. "I am down. Do you want me to go first?" he said confidently, and you both laughed. "Go ahead, I'm giving you the right," you said, and he started to think.

He began, "What if I regret that I met you?" and smiled as he looked at you. You hit him with the paper bag and jokingly said, "I know that fucker."

"Look at you, it's just starting, and you're already annoyed. You're the one who suggested it," he said as he took a sip of his soda.

"What if I'm secretly dating one of your friends?" you said, and he chuckled. "Who?" he asked, which made you both laugh. "Stop asking. It's just a what-if," you said as you smiled, enjoying his reaction.

He cleared his throat and thought for a moment. "What if I just loved you out of pity?" he said teasingly as he looked at you, and you smiled downward. "What's with that look?" he asked, putting his hand on your thigh as he laughed. "Really?" you sadly asked, which made you both laugh.

"What if my ex is asking me for a comeback, and I'm really having thoughts about it?" you said, which made him stunned and unable to even take a bite of his burger, which made you chuckle. "I knew it," he said, and you broke out laughing. "What do you mean you knew it?" you asked as you hit his arm, unable to prevent yourself from laughing.

"What if I just decided to court you because of a bet with my friends?" he said, and you glared at him. "I don't want this anymore," you said, which made him laugh as he scooped his ice cream. "What if I'm just staying with you because of your money?" you said, to which he replied with a shrug. You pinched his arm, making him groan.

"What if I got another girl pregnant?" he said, and your eyes widened in shock at what he just said, and he silently enjoyed your reaction. "Try me, Hajime," you said, and he laughed, but later on, he pulled your wrist and gave you a kiss. "Not gonna happen," he said, and you rolled your eyes.

"What if I wanted to marry you right now?" he said, and you looked at him, trying to prevent yourself from blushing. "What if I don't want you to be my husband?!" you shouted, which made him laugh even more. "I love you, dumbass," he said, kissing your hand.

 

RAN

You and Ran were both sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phones in silence, when he suddenly spoke up. "Let's play the 'what if' challenge," he suggested. You pretended not to hear him, so he playfully slapped your legs. "Come on, it'll be fun," he urged. However, you were still upset with him from a previous argument and didn't feel like playing. "I don't want to," you replied, giving him a stern look. "You still have some issues to work out with me!" you added, feeling frustrated that he hadn't made up with you after the argument. He laughed and teased you, saying, "You're still mad at me, huh?” 

"Come on, you go first," but you shook your head and insisted, "No, you thought of it, so you go first," rolling your eyes. He smirked and commented, "You look so hot when you do that." You glared at him, but he just chuckled.

He started the game by asking, "What if... what if I'm in this position because I'm flirting with someone?" he asked, his eyes still on his phone. You looked at him seriously and gently kicked his abdomen, which made him laugh. "Really, Ran? Flirting with someone right in front of my face?" you asked, trying to reach for his phone, but he hid it. You were still annoyed with him for not making up after the argument, and here he is still annoying you further. "I'm just kidding, doll," he said, stealing a kiss from your lips. You wiped it off quickly, feeling irritated, and he giggled.

"What if I'm just toying with you? What if you're just a past time?" he continued. You smiled, annoyed all over your face, which made him laugh even more. "What if the reason I went out last night was because I'm meeting someone and it's more than just a meeting?" you shot back. He nodded his head, amused by what you said, and you both laughed. "What now, huh?" you teased him, and he chuckled.

"What if I'm just using you to get over my ex?" he said, teasingly looking at you. You were clearly angry and threw every pillow within reach at him, but he just laughed, enjoying your reaction. "You fucker!" you exclaimed, clearly annoyed. "My blood is really boiling for you. What if I choke you to death?" you threatened, jumping on him. He was out of breath from laughing too hard. "Stop it, doll," he said, stopping your hands from gently choking him as he caught his breath.

"What if all this time you're just a third party, and my ex is the one I am with?" he asked. You pulled his hair out of anger, but he just laughed as if it was nothing. "What if I bury you alive?"

"What if you woke up tomorrow and you were already inside a coffin?" you shouted, and he burst out laughing on the floor, clearly happy with your reactions.

 

RINDOU

"Babe, let's do the 'what if' challenge," you said to Rindou, who was almost finished washing the dishes. He quickly shook his head. "Come onnnn, it looks fun," you said as you giggled. "I don't want to," he said as he dried his hands.

"Why not? Come on," you said, trying to convince him. "I don't want to fight after, love. I know you," he said, looking at you seriously, and you laughed. "Promise, I won't," you said as you raised your right hand open, making a promise, but he walked out.

"Come on, Rindou! Or else!" you threatened, which made him turn to look at you. "See?" he sarcastically said, which made you laugh. "Come on, let's do it," you said as you dragged him into the room. "We are not allowed to get hurt," you said, and he ran his palm across his face. "Let's just not do it, it's not a good idea," he said, but in the end, you still won.

"Game," you said, and he sighed. "Ladies first," he said as he held your hand and started playing with it. "What if I don't really love you and I just see you as my best friend?" you said while smiling, and he slowly nodded, pretending it didn't hurt him.

"What if I'm actually in a relationship with your best friend?" you gasped, and he laughed as he held your hands tightly. "You're not allowed to get hurt," he reminded you, and you rolled your eyes. "I am not," you defended as you thought of another one.

"What if I still haven't moved on from my ex and you are just a rebound?" you rebutted with confidence, which made him put his fist on his mouth while smiling, clearly annoyed.

"What if every time I asked for permission to go DJing, that's not really what I am doing, and I'm just flirting with other girls?" he said, and you tilted your head as you hit his arms, and he laughed.

"See, I'm sure you're going to get mad at me after this," he said as he ran his hand through your thigh. "What if I actually cheated, but I'm scared to tell you the truth?" you asked, and with that, he hit you with a pillow, which made you break out in laughter.

"What? Does it hurt?" you teased, but he just looked at you while chuckling, still unable to believe what you just said. "It hurts," he confessed, which made you laugh.

"What if this is the last time you'll laugh like that?" he said, which made you laugh harder. "What if I don't really love you and the one that I love is your brother?" you said as you laughed silently, and his face became gloomy.

"That's it, I'm done," he said as he stood up. You followed him while dying of laughter. "Babe, I'm sorry," you said as you chuckled. "Talk to yourself, I don't want to talk to you," he said, sulking, which made you laugh.

© shinskichan

[remedyturtles]

on maybe a lighter note, i am also currently rereading death wish (something must be in the air), and i myself was wondering if sensei could see casey in a similar manner to the way the boys got to see him via draxums spell. mostly so case could get to actually hug and see his dad again, even if just for a short moment, it's a concept that i thought was super sweet and would likely help both sensei and casey deal with This Whole Situation.

oops tripped and wrote 1.3k abt this my bad

[]

"Open your eyes."

Casey hugged his arms closer to his chest, heart thumping.

"Come on, hermano." Leo coaxed, jostling him from the left, a grin in his voice. "You made it in here. Don't you want to see?"

Casey wasn't sure he wanted to see, because he'd convinced himself that this wasn't going to work, that he'd climb into Leo's mind and find only darkness. That he would never see his dad again. Casey told himself it was okay, over and over, that he was okay with what he had been gifted back, that he'd thought he lost. Even if it didn't look like his dad.

But Mikey had put a bunch of effort into learning the spell from Draxum specifically for this moment. Casey carefully peeled one eye open, and a shiver ran over his skin. The atmosphere was undeniably different than reality, it had the same sensation of walking into someone else's house with your shoes on.

The ground looked like resin, back-lit with sparkling glitter, and there was the thick trunk of an enormous tree right in the middle of a gorgeous midnight blue sky, dotted with stars and constellations. The branches cross-cut through the huge ceiling and the roots crawled out in tangled fingers reaching towards their feet.

"Woah." Casey said, because this wasn't what he was expecting at all.

"Isn't it neat?" Leo spread his arm and spun in a circle, tipping his head back at the scenery. "Who knew something this cool could exist in my brain, right?"

Casey approached the tree, hand out, and pressed his palm to the bark. The sensation that washed over him was a warm bath of rosewater.

"That's Sensei." Leo told him. "Metaphorically. I have actual Sensei in here too, the tree is just a representation."

Casey had heard them say that Sensei was a tree, but it was different to see it. The knots and branches, budding green leaves and the humming feeling that ran up his arm when he curled his fingers against the bark.

"Are you ready to see him?" Leo asked, from behind him.

There was a second of quiet. Casey shut his eyes again, breathing. He didn't know what he was scared of, it seemed silly to be this afraid. But he was, because he'd accepted he wasn't going to see him like this again. And that was fine. He wasn't upset, he was grateful.

Except Sensei was in here, as he knew him, and Casey's heart splintered in a grief he could not name. Losing something, getting it back different, but being offered the chance to see the original again. Would it ruin that gratefulness? Would it hurt too much to see that version and see the shadows that should be standing behind him?

Sorrow soaked through the rough texture. Casey gathered it up tight and found his bravery from the well inside him. He said, "Yeah, yeah, I'm ready."

"You sure?" Leo said, and the worry was a lemon taste in the air. It was weird being in his head.

Casey turned around to give him a smile that he meant wholeheartedly. "Yeah, I'm good. It's just a lot."

"He is a lot." Leo agreed, and pointed behind the tree. "Head that way. I'll give you space to do that on your own. I'll be over here, I'm gonna get Mikey in so we can see who can climb the tree the fastest."

"My money's on Mikey." Casey said.

"I will take that bet." Leo grinned huge, only to immediately soften it. "Go on. He's waiting for you."

Casey trailed his fingers on the trunk, feeling the tingle like static electricity as he circled around the back. The vast night sky continued on infinitely, and it took care to step over the roots and not trip. Casey kept his eyes on his feet until he was back on that sparkling resin-like floor, heart pumping hard, as if it was trying to punch out of his rib cage. He stopped in place, afraid to raise his head.

"Now it's easier for me to appreciate now how much taller you've gotten." Sensei said.

The sound of Sensei's voice felt like a crack splintering up a pane of glass. Casey's breath caught in his throat, sore. That familiar timbre was enough to renew his bravery, and he looked up.

Sensei. The impressive height, broad shoulders, and crinkling around his eyes. The dark circles, scarring up and down his skin, and the old sorrow that he could never quite shake. All wrapped up in persistent love and care that poured off him.

Casey used to wander around bases looking for height above the crowds, remembering his heart leaping when he spotted green in the masses. Recognizing an approaching figure from gait alone, trailing behind and holding one large finger in his whole small hand. Leaping full speed at this exact image after a long mission without his dad.

He didn't feel like he'd gotten any taller. Right now, he felt about five years old. He finally breathed again, the shaky inhale dangerously close to fracturing into something else. He said, "Hey."

"Hi." Sensei smiled, and the crinkles lit up around his eyes. And he sounded just as nervous as Casey.

And that just wouldn't do. Casey closed the distance between them, not wanting his dad to be afraid that this was -- he wasn't even sure what Sensei was thinking, that he'd disappoint him or something stupid like that. So instead he threw himself full speed at Sensei with the complete confidence that he would be caught.

And he was. Sensei bent his knees enough to swoop him all the way up, singular arm iron tight and lifting him straight off his feet. Casey muffled the singular sob that escaped into Sensei's shoulder, keeping arms locked around his neck. No matter how afraid he'd been coming in, he was more terrified to let go now.

"Oh, Case." Sensei said, and kissed the side of his head. It erupted a nostalgic joy, painful and old, slotted back into place. He'd felt that a thousand times before, just like that. It felt right.

Casey merely tightened his hold in response. The glass fissured and split. He gasped for air as it shattered, and he began to cry.

"It shouldn't matter." Casey hiccuped, barely able to catch his breath. "I didn't want it to matter. I wanted -- I want it to be enough, just to have you in my life. I don't want to care what form."

Sensei hummed, and lowered them to the ground, gathering Casey in his lap and tucking him under his chin.  It broke the shards into smaller flakes, because this was his dad who could surround him completely, protect him from the world even with just one strong arm. Casey curled up small and selfishly relished the feeling of safety. The sensation of it was so unbearably familiar.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with that." Sensei said, after a moment, squeezing reassuringly. "We can be grateful for what we have and equally grateful for a moment like this."

Casey soaked in the warm rosewater feeling, and reached to curl his fingers on the edge of Sensei's plastron, the tears streaking down his cheeks. He said, "Thank you."

Sensei pressed his smiling mouth to the top of Casey's head again, and said against his hair, "I love you to death, Casey Junior."

"You've loved me past that." Casey hiccuped, and squeezed his eyes shut painfully at the overwhelming rush. "I love you for a billion years."

"Oh it's a billion now?"

"I'm ambitious."

Sensei chuckled and squeezed again, in all the ways he'd been missing.

Casey didn't think about when they'd have to let go. They had a billion years, after all.

[dashofmonsters]

Dreamers & Delusions- Pt. 8

merman x female reader

After you finally agreed to live with Tao he told you to take a few days to heal up. You were worried that you'd get fired from your job being out so long but apparently on his little jog out to get you clothes he also stopped by the diner.

He informed Mikey that you won't be back in for a few days due to your injuries. He also mentioned that he may or may not have threatened him after he said some horrible things about you under breath. Apparently Jes was there to stop him from beating Mikey black and blue.

You spent the first day just lounging about in the nest room, reading your romance novels you've stashed away at Tao's. He had to go back to the beach to asses the damage and help with clean up. When he came home he looked drained but quickly perked up when he saw that you made dinner

The second day Jes came to visit and the two of you talked up a storm.

"Girl you are so lucky to be alive right now! You could have fucking died!" She shakes you before giving you a rib crushing hug.

"I know, I know. I just couldn't be there anymore, I needed to get away," You cry against her shoulder and sigh.

You give Jes the run down of that fateful night and leave nothing out. She listens, shaking her head here and there and holding back tears when you talk about how terrified you were.

"And I've been here since. I don't know if he's told you, but I'm moving in with him," you tell her as you wipe your eyes with your sleeve.

"I think that's for the best, but what about... well, you haven't been to keen on getting any closer to him because of the... you know, mates subject," She sighs and scrubs her face.

"I'm trying not to think about it. I'll still keep him at a healthy distance, even though he seems to want the opposite. Not sure if he's taking this fake dating seriously or if he's just being over protective of me because he sees me as his shoal mate," you shrug.

Jes' brows hike up her forehead and she grins, "Shoal mate?"

"Like werewolves have pack members Jes, nothing special," you glare.

"Sure sure, and I'm guessing all those clothes and lacy things aren't special either?" Her grin widens.

"Jes, no. He's just being nice, he even said it was because I didn't have anything to wear and all," you roll your eyes and groan. "Besides he would probably buy even more expensive clothes for his mate, treat her even better and all. I'm just practice, that's all I'm ever good for."

Without warning a hand clamps down on your face and shakes you, "You listen and you listen good, I am sick and tired of hearing your woe was me bullshit! You are kind, smart, dependable, funny as fuck, and loving as hell and if no one can see that in you, they don't fucking deserve you. Tao included ok?"

You nod your head and whimper, "But when he finds her won't h-"

"And what if you are her? What then?" She asks you.

"How can it be me though? There's been no sign, no marks, no moment where we look deep into each others eyes and just 'know'. There's nothing Jes, just two friends who are fake dating," you start blubbering, tears rolling down your cheeks again.

You've bottled up these emotions for days now, unable to vent them since you're in the same living space with the merman who's causing them. You needed this, needed to talk to Jes and just let it all out.

"A part of me wishes he wasn't so goddamn nice to me ya know. Like it'd be so much easier to fall out of love with him. And now look at me, I'm about to move in with him because it's safer here than with my own fucking family. I can't win Jes, I can't," you sob into your hands and she pulls you in for a hug.

"You'll be alright sugar, maybe not now but eventually. I'm not going to sugar coat shit and say things will be fine because I'm no fortune teller girly. This is going to be a fucking journey, but it's all about how you navigate until you reach the end. Nobody needs to get hurt ok?" Jes pulls back and wipes a tear from your cheek. "But if he does hurt you, I will be more than happy to put my foot up where the sun don't shine."

You manage a teary chuckle and nod, "Thanks for being real Jes. I guess I needed to hear that and not some fake positivity bull shit."

"I don't do that wishy washy fake support girly, I tell it like it is," she grins and winks.

After you calm down Jes segues the conversation from you and Tao to her and her wild fae fiancé. You start cackling when she tells you about the gifts they've already received from friends and family. Apparently it's common practice to gift some fun things for the bedroom before the wedding so they can enjoy them afterward. Jes admits that she's lost count of how many of these gifts she has received.

"But here's the real kicker, because he's a wild fae our wedding has to be officiated by a wild fae who has worked law between both worlds for it to be legal in both," Jes sneers and tosses her hand back and forth.

"Won't that kind of be near impossible? Aren't wild fae against going into law? I thought they'd be more free spirited?" You try to imagine someone with wild hair and wild magic working in a court of law and quickly shake your head.

"That's what I thought, but there's one. Just one, fresh out of college too. He has a degree in law in both worlds. His name is Varen, very straight laced and way too normal for anyone to look at him and think wild fae. But Artek told me that this kid's one hundred percent a wild fae, could tell by the ebb and flow of his magic," She explains and goes into greater detail about this weird wild fae.

That conversation lead to another and another, talking and bitching turned to joking over lunch and eventually, like all good things, ended after cake. Jes left and you felt lighter though the dread stayed pooled in the pits of your stomach. It was manageable now, but still there.

You distract yourself by starting on dinner. You take it easy as to not overdo it and reopen any wounds again. You've splashed some healing potion on yourself this morning but should probably cleanse yourself with another dose soon.

Little by little you get everything together and toss it into the oven. Easy, simple bake for a dinner. While it does its own thing you whisk away to the bathroom and quickly strip as you run the bathwater. You've just finished pouring the potion into the bath when the door flies open haphazardly and Tao freezes.

You can't help but to laugh especially when he attempts to close the door that keeps slipping from his grasp.

"Dude you've seen me naked probably a dozen times now, nothing you haven't seen," you plop into the bath, still laughing.

You hear the door shut and Tao sighing and to your surprise you see him sitting right at the closed door. He looks a bit roughed up and tired as hell.

"Tough day at work," you ask as you settle in for a soak.

Tao groans, "Tough would be an understatement. Two vacant houses tumbled and shattered onto the beach during the storm. We started out with plenty of volunteers but once they realized how much work goes into the clean up, well we lost a good sixty percent."

"Sixty percent?!" you turn and nearly slip against the tub.

"And if that wasn't bad enough, a certain someone came to the beach looking for you," he adds with disgust that he doesn't even attempt to hide.

"You've gotta be shitting me... She came to the fucking beach after all that had happened?" you ask.

"She was cordial at first since there was a lot of people but when I wasn't giving her the answers she wanted she started saying horrific things about you in relation to, well, to us," he says.

You know how unhinged your grandmother can be with insults and name calling but to slander you or Tao, especially Tao, in public, that was crossing a whole new fucking line.

"What did she say?" you grit your teeth and exhale, trying to remain calm.

Tao doesn't say anything, but you hear him clear his throat and shift. You turn in the tub, keeping low enough that only your shoulders and up are visible, "Tao, what did she say?"

He looks at you and looks down, "She said a great deal of things that I am very certain would cause you to become quite enraged."

"I need something a little more specific buddy. How bad was it?" you keep pushing, knowing that Tao isn't fully comfortable with this but you need to know.

"I'm not sure if I-"

"If I promise to remain calm will you fucking tell me at least one goddamn thing she said?" you nearly yell, starting to get frustrated.

Tao's eyes widen but he nods his head, "She said...well she compared you to your mother saying that you're some slut for dating me and that I'm some freak with a human woman fetish that's lowering whatever qualities about you that would be desirable to human males."

You promised to remain calm, and you're no liar. Instead you start getting out of the tub. You quickly wrap a towel around yourself before Tao can say anything but to your surprise he seems rather speechless. His eyes are back onto the floor and there's this limpness to him. You squat down next to him and he doesn't flinch.

"There's more to this isn't there?" you ask.

"I couldn't say anything... I couldn't defend you or she'd know where you were. I wanted to tear her apart so bad, not physically of course, but I wanted her to know how wrong she was," Tao admits.

You lean up against him and he stiffens a bit before relaxing. He smells of the beach and whatever trash was on beach and it makes you crinkle your nose.

"I'm going to go get dressed and finish up dinner while you take a much needed shower. Let's try to get me moved in asap. I don't think I can tolerate my grandmother any longer," you shimmy up against the door to stand up as Tao shoves up and wobbles.

He seems a little off but mostly tired.

"Try to get some rest tonight ok? We have plenty of time to talk till we both pass out," you smile at him before leaving to go get dressed.

You throw on some comfy pajama bottoms that Jes bought for you and a large shirt that Tao had got you with all the other clothes. You slip into some comfy slides and head to the kitchen to check on dinner. It's a simple chicken bake that your older brother used to make and it made you feel like a normal kid when you ate it.

You wanted to share with Tao a taste of your world since the both of you always cooked his style. It's not that he can't eat or doesn't like to eat normal human food, it's just that you've been busy practicing his style for a while now.

It's just chicken breasts baked over carrots and potatoes that you've oiled and seasoned properly, but this was the one thing that kept you going on the hard days. You made it for your younger siblings when your brother got older and left, but it was never quite as good as his.

You start prepping some broccoli to go with it, something you added so everyone could get their vegies. You can't help but to smile when you think of your little sister grimacing when she took her first bite of broccoli. You had to convince her that they were tiny trees and she'd become a giant if she ate them. Before you left home, she admitted that it didn't work but she knew you were trying so she kept eating them even if she still didn't like them. Hearing that almost made you break down in tears.

You oil up the pan and turn to grab the broccoli when you run right into Tao.

"You have got to start warning me when you enter a room dude, this is going to keep happening if you don't," you laugh.

Tao chuckles and holds your arm, "I'll try to remember that for next time. How are your wounds?"

"Itchy," you shrug, "But manageable. How about you? How are you feeling?"

"I'm...," He pauses and sighs. "Tired, tired and drained. All I want to do is bury myself in a pile of blankets and pillows and pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist for a while."

You want to laugh because you've been there, and you feel like this isn't the first time Tao has felt like this but it's the first time he's expressed it.

"Well how about we do just that after dinner ok? I could do with wrapping myself up in that fluffy green blanket like a lettuce wrap," you giggle.

Tao gives you a soft smile and nods, "Sounds like a plan."

His hand roves up from your forearm and to your shoulder, your heart pounding a mile a minute until his nose crinkles and he nearly shoves you away as he picks up the smoking oiled pan off the stove top.

You try to apologize but Tao stops you saying it's his fault he distracted you. He offers to help with the last bit of dinner but you stubbornly decline and banish him to the barstools.

The chicken bake finishes just as you toss the broccoli into the newly oiled pan and you hush up Tao when he offers to help again.

"Can't make you a thank you dinner if you keep trying to help now can I?" you poke at him.

"Wait, what do you mean?" he asks, almost shocked.

"I thought I'd make you something from my world as a thank you... Like we're always cooking stuff from the little book you made me or stuff based on that so I thought I'd try something different...," you feel your heart sinking a bit at how silly you sound.

You should have asked instead of jumping into this, should have double checked and now you're probably just cooking for yourself because he probably won't want t-

"I can't wait to try it then," he says.

You look up, realizing that you had been looking down at the broccoli and were probably about to salt it with your tears.

"It's nothing fancy, just a chicken bake my older brother used to make for me when I was a kid," you smile.

He smiles back and yawns looking more tired than usual, "Like I said, I can't wait to try it."

You feel your cheeks heat and your heart flutter but it doesn't last long as you mentally dunk yourself into cold water.

Just a friend, just a friend...

Shaking yourself out of your girly lovey dove self you focus on finishing dinner. As simple as it is you want to make it especially presentable. You give Tao two chicken breasts and a good helping of carrots, potatoes and broccoli. You wanted to serve dinner rolls with it but you had polished them off a couple nights ago.

Tao is unable to stay seated much longer and takes the plates to the one place you'd thought they'd be forbidden from entering, the nest room. Though not without trays which he asks you to bring. You grab them along with some bottles of water and the dessert Jes had brought earlier from the diner.

Tao has you set the trays and things down at the doorway so you can hold the plates. You watch with bated breath as his claw slowly slices through the air, dragging golden glowing ruins with it. The room shifts and the nest room transforms into something akin to a magical pillow fort. The plates you're holding float out of your hands and the trays fly up to support them.

You look down for the dessert and waters but they had already transported to Tao's hands. He smiles again and gestures for you to follow him into the pillow fort.

He plops down onto a beanbag that you had no idea was even in the room and the tray lands gracefully on his lap. You follow suit and snuggle up into a pile of pillows with your tray landing next to you.

"I gotta say Tao, had I known you as a kid I would have invited you over to build pillow forts and hang out because this is fucking nice," you joke.

Tao doesn't say anything because all of his focus and attention went straight into the dinner you had made. Though he's tired, his eyes turn solid black as he rips into the chicken like a beast. It's no feeding frenzy like he did at your grandmother's house, no he still seems conscience.

You take his silence and focus on the meal as a complement and tuck into your on plate. As you eat you realize that it's still not quite like your brother's.

Guess I'll have to hunt him down and shake that recipe out of him one of these days.

You're halfway down eating when you feel Tao snuggling up to you. You glance over at him, his eyes still all black.

"If you're still fully aware in there let me finish eating dude," you tell him.

Tao grunts which you suppose is a good sign as he slinks down and lays next to you. You stab at your food and eat as slowly as possible hoping that Tao will just pass out while waiting for you.

You're not against platonic cuddling or whatever sharky merfolk due to stay warm, but you need some distance. You need to be a little colder until you've sorted your feelings out.

He's been so good to you, kind and caring that it hurts more and more as the days pass and you haven't even officially moved in yet. You keep things as professional as you can but he keeps doing things like buying you snacks and little gifts like candles and bubble bath stuff.

It drives you absolutely crazy because you know this isn't going to last, that even though you'll still be shoal mates and all, you won't be anything more than just that.

You finish eating and check to see if Tao had passed out. Once you're certain he's asleep you clean up the pillow fort and take everything to the kitchen as quietly as possible. You shake your head and almost cry as you laugh about hanging out with Tao in a pillow fort.

If you weren't in love with him you'd probably have a blast. You'd probably try to wake his ass up and try to teach him some games the both of you could play.

But you're in love with him and he's tired. You're tired too.

You had allowed yourself to laze about while physically healing but mentally and emotionally you still feel like your wounds are wide open and bleeding all over the place.

Tip toeing back to the nest room, you quickly swipe the fluffy green blanket and a couple pillows to take back to the living room. You toss yourself onto the leather loveseat and curl into a ball before passing out.

~~~~~~

Tao:

My eyes feel crusted and practically glued together when I wake up. I'm cold even though I'm wrapped up in a heavy blanket. I reach out to get a feel of my surroundings when my memories of last night start flooding in. I snap up and and furiously wipe my eyes till I can open them.

The nest room is as I remembered, magicked into a cave of pillows and blankets but absent of a certain someone. I quickly untangle myself from the blankets and nearly trip as I make my way out of the room.

I search the nearby rooms to check for her before heading to the kitchen. My heart sinks when I peer into the living room and find her curled up on the couch. I quietly pad my way over to her and I fall to my knees when I see notice the tears stained on her face and the puffiness of her eyes.

Had she spent the entire night out here alone crying her eyes out?

I grab a fistful of my hair as I try to wrack my brain for anything I might have done to upset her. I start to worry if I offended her with the way that I ate last night, I did try my best to suppress my instincts. I know that going into a feeding frenzy can disgust humans but she's been fine with it before.

My heart starts racing and I can hardly breathe as I continue to spiral into a state of panic. I'm obviously not quiet about it because she stirs then shoots straight up. I hear her worrying over me, her warm hands cupping my cheek so gently. Without think I hold her hand in place as if I'm afraid this will be the last time she touches me.

Her thumb soothes short lines near my eye and I feel myself slowly calming down to the point that I almost doze off again. She keeps talking but it's muffled. She tries to pull her hand away then and I snap out of whatever trance I was in.

"Tao, you need to go in the tank dammit! You're dry as a bone!" she yells at me.

It takes a moment for my mind and body to sync up and that's when I realize the severe discomfort my skin is in. Not just my skin but my mouth feels sticky and my gills are on fire. I stumble as I stand, no longer operating on anxious energy. It's so difficult to move, to breathe in this state.

I haven't neglected myself like this in ages and now I'm doing it in front of her. For a moment I think she might scold me, rage at how stupid I was for not taking better care of myself until I feel her small hand at the mid of my back.

Slowly she helps me to the hatch, my breathing becoming more and more labored with each step. My gills feel stuck and itchy to the point of sheer madness. I try my best not to scratch at them in fear of them becoming raw.

She sits me down on one of the benches and helps me out of my shirt. For a moment I think that it's kind of her to help me out like this until I remember that I'm wearing pants too.

In a sudden bout of panic I shoot up and kick the hatch open. I hear her talking but not a single word is registering. I quickly start stripping my pants off and before she can see anything I try to dive into my tank but trip over my own feet. I nearly miss the edge when I hit the water and thank the goddesses I made it before I feel unconscious.

There's a weight on my shoulder, a stinging pain too. I suppose I did hit myself but not as bad. I peel open my eyes in horror when I see my shoal mate's limp body slowly floating away from me with blood trailing from her head.

~~~~~~

You could see Tao struggling and you tried to stop him before he hurt himself, instead you ended up bonking your fucking head on the edge of the hatch. It stings like a bitch from the saltwater so you must have sliced it on impact.

But you quickly shove that though from your mind because you're underwater and you're breathing somehow. Memories flood back and you recall holding onto to his shoulder for dear life and Tao pulling you in and how his mouth opened yours up so he could breathe for you. He said something and you nodded before passing out again. He most likely cast a spell to allow you to breathe under water then.

You slowly open your eyes but there's not much to behold. The tank is dark save for the light near the surface. You feel around yourself and notice something smooth nearby. You give it a good poke a guess by the texture and smooshiness of it that it's Tao's tail. Suddenly you're being pulled against him, his nose nuzzling against your ear and his claws rest gently against your bare skin.

"You scared me half to death," he groans, his voice hoarse.

"Ditto dude, you were having a full blown panic attack. What happened?" you ask as bubbles exit your mouth. You have a good idea based on how he's responded to anything you do in the past but it doesn't hurt to check.

Tao's claws twitch and he hums, "I was worried that I had offended you somehow. When I awoke, you were not in the nest."

"You didn't do anything wrong Tao, I just... I needed some space. That and uhh...," You pause, knowing it's now or never and decide to rip it off like a band aid. "You don't have to keep up the fake dating act when we're alone. I mean whenever you find your mate or something I think you'll do good."

You continue to praise him and how he'll make someone super happy one of these days while doing your damndest to mask the ache in your heart. You slip up though and your voice cracks but you laugh it off or at least try to.

The slip doesn't go unnoticed and Tao pulls you into his arms again, crushing you against his body. You're stiff yet somehow you're trembling as he cradles your head and gently kisses your cheek. He doesn't say anything really but you do hear him purr. It's a low thrumming sound and it's oddly soothing.

"We were supposed to relax and pretend as if the world did not exist in the nest room. I ruined that by allowing my instincts to take over again," He says remorsefully.

"No you didn't Tao, I just... I needed space and... you've been great, maybe too great. It just feels wrong somehow to keep up the fake dating act twenty four seven. It's been messing with my head so much so that, I don't know... I just think we should tone it down and just be friends when no one is looking," you bury your face against his chest and sigh.

Tao taps his claws against the back of your head as his purring somehow intensifies, "Then how has it been messing with your head? Did I do something to overstep any boundaries?"

It's a genuine question, you know it is but it irritates you because it's digging so close to the truth, "You haven't overstepped anything, if anyone did that would be me. You've been nothing but kind and respectful and all that and it's been making me think how great it would be if there was someone who could treat me like you do but they actually loved me."

That last part stings your soul because you don't want just anybody, you want Tao.

Without thinking you keep blubbering on, your emotions taking charge now, "And then I started thinking how nice it would be if I was your mate, not just shoal mate, but that'd never happen. So I just kept telling myself we're friends and that you'll eventually find your fated mate and I'll be tossed aside. So I've been trying my best to shut those feelings off, to put some distance between us but somehow someway we keep coming into contact with each other."

At this point your laughing, possibly crying but it's too hard to tell since you're still underwater. Tao holds you even tighter, pulling you up until your chin rests on his shoulder.

"I pray to the goddesses every night that I never meet my fated mate or that I will have the strength to reject her if we do meet," he admits.

"Why would you do that?" you ask with a broken voice.

"Because I want to choose my mate and fated mates among merfolk are rare anyways. I came to this world for a new life, I can't hold onto old traditions and wishful thinking," he answers, his claws once again tapping the back of your head.

"Did you decide this because you've already chose someone?" The question slips and Tao's fingers still against you.

His purring is so loud now and his heartbeat is thrumming against it. He doesn't say anything for a minute but then nods, "Yes, I suppose I have."

You go limp in his hold for a second before looking up at him. His golden eyes glow in the darkness and his hair moves in waves around his head like an inky crown. He looks more feral at this moment than he does when his instincts kick in. For a moment you're terrified of the question fighting its way out but when he touches your arm oh so gently is just flies out.

"Who is it? Who did you chose?"

[chao-thicc-hcs]

OKAY HEAR ME OUT

Can you maybe do bonten Mikey,Sanzu,Koko and Rindou with a very touchy or shows love by touch S/O! Please🙏 🧚‍♀️PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE🧚‍♀️

your wish is my command✨

Having a touchy/affectionate s/o!

featuring: bonten!mikey; sanzu; kokonoi; rindou

genre: fluffy fluff

warning(s): mentions of blood and intestines

mikey↷

he's initially reluctant to your touches, and the sudden hugs you gave him shook him to the core

he's not used to such way of bonding with someone. He's unfamiliar with the whole "lovey-dovey" thing

warms up quickly. He yearns for it, he desires it, but is too afraid to admit it vocally, and he just kind of.. returns the favor

hugs you from behind and places his chin on your head

''Y/n, can you touch me like that again, please?" is the most you will ever hear

mikey loves observing the way you get excited when he reciprocates your touch and returns your hugs and kisses

he doesn't remind himself to do anything touchy until you touch his arm or hug him, mainly because he isn't used to physical touch. you always initiate everything, and it hints him to wrap his arm around your shoulder or waist

he might say it is "suffocating" but deep inside he wants more

is the small spoon so he can feel the comfort of your hugs

buys you food as a gratitude for not being afraid of being yourself around him

sometimes he'd come home and pretend to be grumpy, just so he can have an excuse to cuddle you tighter

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━❦

Mikey hated to be touched. Absolutely despised the thought of someone being near him or even simply poking him. He even remembered breaking Sanzu's finger because he dared to touch him once when he was a tad bit too excited about a person he murdered.

However, something about you flicked a switch inside of him. Every time you'd wrap your hands around his torso and say his name in a cutesy melody, every time you'd pinch his cheek, nudge his shoulder or even ruffle his already disheveled hair felt as if his stomach was churning and burning with passion.

Much to everyone's surprise, the oh invincible Mikey, head of the most feared organization - Bonten - had a soft spot for his sweet lover, letting her visit his office, bringing her to meetings and even not getting mad at her for interrupting his speech with her sudden cheek kisses. He'd glare at you, but just to appear tough in front of the others, never daring to say anything else.

But oh... Mikey on the inside is a putty. Only you knew how he submitted willingly to your feather touch that soothed his broken soul, making him toss aside all the thoughts plaguing his mind, focusing only on the warm embrace you'd give him when he's alone with you, where he can finally give in and cease pretending he's tough in front of his colleagues.

A faint smile could be seen plastered onto his face whenever you came inside his office for a visit and bring his favorite meal, or even just sit down and keep him company.

-Mikeyyyy~- your chirpy voice could be heard from the very beginning of the large hall you had to pass to reach the room.

In the middle of a meeting, Mikey cracked a small smile that he managed to conceal from his subordinates, shaking his head and sighing. You went inside the room and hopped to his desk, sitting down on his lap with force, making him oof a little.

-I brought you this! A new flavor of taiyaki the store had to offer! I want to see you try them!

-Later, Y/n. I am at a meeting.-Mikey retorted and placed his hand at the small of your back

His subordinates were watching with shock, slack-jawed as the scene unwrapped in front of them.

-Pleasee! I woke up early just to get it fresh for you out of the bakery...-you pouted, holding the taiyaki in your hands

Mikey let out a long, tired sigh and just took the treat, unwrapping it and splitting it in half, giving the other to you.

-Now, quiet, let's finish the meeting.

You nodded and shared the treat with your lover while everyone's eyes were focused on the both of you. The man took his time and resumed what he was talking on about with you on his lap. The rest of the Bonten members, however, couldn't seem to focus on his words, still visibly shook by the way their boss almost appeared vulnerable in front of them.

-If you all ever speak up about this, I will make you eat your intestines like spaghetti bolognese.-he hissed under his breath, earning a light nudge to his shoulder from you.

sanzu↷

sanzu is either super touchy or avoids you all day in the beginning, no in between

even when he tries to avoid your touch, you somehow manage to still find yourself snuggling him

he likes it, but the fucker is weird and awkward and always says shit like "you smell good" and sniff your neck or something

regardless, he doesn't really mind you clinging onto him

as time passes he'd get hella obsessive over you, wanting you by his side at all times

on the days where he doesn't feel touchy, he'd just hold your hand, nothing more

bought you a pillow of his face on days where he had to be gone for longer lmfao

he'd ask you to put lipstick on and leave stains on his cheek, neck and a little on his clothes

speaking of kisses, he'd also want you to place pecks all over his face when he comes back home

he loves it when you lay onto him and just lay on his chest <3

over time, he starts being a bit clingy too, always following you like a pet

brags about you to the others. they're sick of his constant ramblings, but they respect you for taming his horses for a short while so they put up with it

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━❦

If Sanzu had the powers to take all the stars down for you - he'd do it.

Instead, he saw them all aligned in your eyes. Looking at the picture of you smiling on his phone, hugging the cat you recently adopted, his heart ached and his legs almost gave up at immense yearning to have you in his arms. And listen as you rant about your day while you squeeze the air out of him.

The messages piled up, he knew you were sleeping, but he couldn't stay still without making sure you were notified how he is. Sitting on top of one of the dead bodies he had to dispose of, the world around him took the role of a poison ivy wrapping around his neck, raising the pressure that was building up from him not being next to you, sleeping peacefully.

....

The door closed. Empty apartment with a breath of fresh air. It was dark, quiet. Sanzu took off his attire and threw it in the laundry basket. He wanted to snuggle next to you as soon as he could, but he didn't want to be dirty.

Lukewarm drops of water fell down his torso and back, relaxing every muscle. Sighing under the sudden feeling of comfort, Sanzu cleaned off every splurt of blood he had left on his body. The shower was quick but refreshing enough, and he didn't bother to completely dry his body or hair before putting on boxers and approaching your shared bedroom.

His arm wrapped around you and caressed your sides gently, making sure you don't wake up. However, you turned around, seeming to have been awake for a while. You put an arm and leg around him, pulling him closer to you, while he let out a sigh.

-Missed you, babygirl.

-Missed you too, hun. Now I am here.. get some rest, I can see you're extremely tired.

He placed gentle and sloppy kisses on your neck and collarbone, squeezing you tight against him.

-Night...

-Night..~

izana↷

he will be so stiff in the beginning

his expression will be blank, as if he isn't affected by your touch, and he will blurt out stuff like "why are you being so clingy?"

but the moment you try and pull away he'd grab you and hug you back

"didn't say i don't like it"

he'd let you cling onto him, but most of the time he will not reciprocate it, especially in public

calls you annoying but with a hint of affection in his tone

pats your head a lot

when he comes from work, he'd always lean into your face, expecting you to kiss his cheek

over time he will get used to it, and will start returning touches every time

always has you either on his lap or laying on top of him

his smile doesn't leave his face when you're near him, and he'd often daydream about you when you talk about stuff while hugging him or just by touching him lightly

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━❦

You were rummaging through your wardrobe in distress, searching for a certain outfit that you were planning to combine for days. Izana was sitting on the bed with his arms crossed, watching you with a smirk and letting out light chuckles here and there.

-'Zana, help me out here!-you whined out, which only got out another chuckle from your boyfriend

-I told you to fold your clothes properly yesterday. You insisted on lazing with me and here you are, suffering the consequences.

You glared at his shit-eating grin but kept on going. Your eyes lit up when you finally found the clothes you were planning on wearing today. Swiftly, you put on the outfit and spun around.

-Whaddya think?

Izana just kept on staring, smiling as if he saw you for the first time ever. His eyes analyzed your entire figure as you spun around and posed for him. To him, you were like a fresh oil painting - a beautiful creature depersonalizing even the shiniest of background by just mere existence - that he'd never want to look away from. His eyes analyzed your figure, his limbs felt weak. Before he realized it, he was daydreaming, and you found your way plopping onto his lap.

-Zanaaa, are you listening?-you tilted your head to the side, placing your arms on his shoulders

His arms quickly wrapped around your figure, and he laid down his torso on the bed, holding you tight and running his hand up and down your spine.

-You look mesmerizing, my dear. You took my breath away.

His gaze confirmed it all. Izana was lovestruck and he never hid that fact, contrary, he expressed it with pride, making sure you soak up the emotions of sheer adulation intertwined between his words and touches.

-But I prefer what's under it...

You chuckled and kissed his nose, nuzzling it after. -Later, baby, after our date.

koko(nut)↷

loves, loves, LOVES it

he always calls you to sit on his lap during work, because he spends half his time typing on a laptop

he'd take occasional breaks to wrap both his arms around you and squeeze you tightly

nuzzles in your chest all the time

begs for your clinginess in a more subtle manner, like nudging you with his head, poking your side so you feel a ticklish sensation, press his lips against your shoulder and all that

buys you one of those socks with bunny ear magnets that connect when you're near each other so he has an excuse to cling onto you too

challenges you on who will be more affectionate with the other one (you always win)

gets so attached to you that he even sits on the toilet while you shower, spilling tea with you

likes to wrap you like a burrito in a blanket and then hug you

on days when he's feeling lazy, he'd let you lay onto him while letting out all the affection you have for him

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━❦

The morning sunlight crept through the curtains of the room, illuminating your soft features as you were soundly asleep. Kokonoi, on the other hand, had already woken up and was admiring the way your face was squished under your palm, his smile not leaving his face.

His hands were caressing your sides, body barely covered from the thin sheets loosely wrapped around your thighs. He pulled your body closer to his by your hips, earning a groan from you as you absentmindedly wrapped your hands around him.

He had to get up, but he didn't want to. Kokonoi wanted to cherish the last remaining minutes he had with you before getting ready for work. His body felt heavy, and he barely even lifted his head up before his torso following.

As he was about to get up from the bed, he felt two hands wrap around his waist. He whipped his head back, just to see you holding him, murmuring something under your sleepy breath.

-Stay...-you whined out, tightening the grip on his waist

Kokonoi giggled, caressing your head and playing with a strand that was right in front of your face. This sight made him want to melt into the mattress and never get up from it with you next to him. He placed a smooch on your cheek, holding his lips on your soft skin for a bit longer.

-Can't, I got work to do, or Mikey will kill me, you know?

-Hmph..-you hummed like a child and turned around, covering your head with the sheet

You felt two hands suddenly pull you closer by your hips, earning another hum from you. Your head turned around to get a glimpse of your lover looking at you with sultry eyes.

-Maybe I can stay for a bit longer, just so my princess gets her ample amount of morning kisses.

You smiled and turned around to face him, cupping his face and commencing a kissy battle with him.

rindou↷

sulky babyboy and i mean it

doesn't like pda, and would often tell you to hold your horses at least when he's outside or with other bonten members

if you insist on being all clingy with him, he still wouldn't push you away, ever. he loathes seeing you upset from not hugging him

rindou yearns for your touch, especially after he's home from a long, tiring day. your arms around him relaxes him in an instant

he'd just sit there, arms crossed while letting you squish his cheeks, kiss his entire face and throw yourself onto him

has tons of videos on his phone of you biting his arms, blurry pictures and videos of you approaching him with your hands open and etc.

enjoys banters, a lot. he'd deffo try and restrain you with his hands while you fight for your life to let yourself go, saying you're being "too clingy and need to be restrained" (Affectionately)

sometimes he'd pretend to wipe off the kisses you give him and will giggle at your offended gasps

he always falls asleep between your thighs first, then proceeds to lazily crawl next to you and hug you

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━❦

Your lover couldn't cease the loud laughter coming from his mouth when he managed to annoy you for the third time this afternoon.

You were sulking, arms and legs crossed as you sat on the couch, staring into the TV screen like a toddler who got refused an ice popsicle.

Rindou took his time to calm his laughter down and ease his stomach. The view of you like this made him melt, he found you more than just adorable. You however, had a hard time sharing such feelings.

You wanted to cuddle him, and practically latched onto him like a leech, but he had other plans for today. He annoyed the shit out of you with sly remarks and even trying to jokingly push you away, which didn't earn a pleasant reaction from you.

After some time, he approached the couch and placed his head onto your lap, still grinning like an idiot while looking up at you.

-Aw c'mon, don't be sulky, Y/n. I was joking. -he said in between his giggles

You let out a "humph" and turned your head around, trying to scoot away a little so his head plops onto the couch. Rin sat properly on the couch and placed you to sit in between his legs, kissing your neck.

-...your jokes aren't funny, Rin. Apologize to me now, or I won't hug you today.

He rolled his eyes at this, but he couldn't deny that he'd rather sink in a pile of horse shit than deprive himself from your hugs because of his stubbornness.

-I'm sorry, baby. You know I love you and your hugs, right? -he spoke softly, nuzzling his head in your neck

-I know you do, so who am I to deprive you from them? -you chuckled, caressing his cheek

©chao-thicc-hcs; reblogs are deeply appreciated

[j-nope-not-today]

Hi, I am the one who ask for a, TMNT boys react to their s/o being cat called, on your other tumblr page. I understand. Please take your time. I hope you have a lovely day.💖

TMNT reaction to s/o being cat called

A/n: Hello! I'm in fact not dead! Sorry for the long wait and I hope you enjoy. Thanks for requesting!

Leonardo

Now you think he would be the most rational out of his brothers

But you would be wrong. I firmly believe he would be off the rails about the whole situation

He has to keep his cool all the time, but seeing you being threatened, cat called, or hurt in any sort of way? It's over.

All rationality and reasoning flies out of the window.

If you get cat called. He's going to make sure your safe and then he's going to beat said cat caller up.

He will not hesitate. He'll look at the cat caller. Look at you. Back at the cat caller and then bam! he's on the move.

The only way to stop him from rearranging your cat caller's face is by keeping a hold on him. If your hand is placed on him or your holding his arm. He'll stay put and keep on his merry way

But otherwise it's so over for that cat caller.

And afterwards Leo will take you for ice cream or to some sort of food place that you love

He'll be extra cute and loving towards you as if he didn't just beat tf out of someone.

If you question it or bring it up he'll just sigh and say

"the things you do for the people you love"

Just know he does it bc he loves you. Your safety it means everything to him and he wouldn't let anyone harm you, physically or mentally.

Raphael

I firmly believe Raphael will turn to said cat caller and ask them if they have a death wish

Man is straight to the point

Immediately he has a thousand different problems

He's probably not gonna beat them up bc Lord knows he would have zero restraint

But he'll give a speech most likely layered with threats

"you see her/him? Their valuable. Their priceless. An absolute treasure to me and you..you have the entire day to be an idiot and you choose now to be one?"

He's Mr.i'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.

He'll insult him until you laugh. His goal is solely to make you laugh so you can feel better and then you'll go on with your day.

If you don't laugh he'll ask you if you want him to beat him up bc once he gets the green light from you

It's game over for that cat caller.

When all is said and done he's going to be snuggled close to you like he a giant teddy bear.

Donatello

He's going to try to be as calm as possible

And he's going to think he's handling the situation calmly

But he's going to have either a glare that could kill you or a resting bitch face during the whole altercation

He'll tell your cat caller to get lost and he'll make sure you get to where your going safely

And the moment Donnie is alone he's going to hack everything that cat caller owns

I'm talking bank information, email, all their personal accounts on everything

He's going to inconvenience tf out of your cat caller simply bc he inconvenienced you and made you uncomfortable and he's not gonna let that slide.

Ofc after all is said and done he will proudly show you what he did

In the hopes it will make you feel better.

Be prepared he's going to be extra affectionate to ensure you feel better, but mainly it's to make him feel better. He doesn't like seeing you in any sort of distress.

It bothers him so please give him hugs

Michelangelo

I firmly believe Mikey will turn into a feral street cat

Your not gonna know what his response is going to be

He might just beat the cat caller up

Maybe he'll threaten him

But guarantee that the cat caller will be scarred for life

He will ensure that the call caller learns their lesson

But his number one priority will be you

If he knows he can't do anything bc your scared or freaked out or it's unsafe to Mikey than he won't do anything

But he will remember the cat caller's face and he will come back to finish the job

But he won't tell you that

He'll make sure you get home and he'll reassure you and kiss your face and joke around

He'll cheer you up and make you feel as right as rain

And if you ever find out he did in fact go back to finish the job. he will deny it until the day he dies. He will never admit to it.

[luckycharms1701]

*comes sliding into your inbox and excitedly crashes you into a tight bear hug*

OMIGOSH CAPTAIN KIRSTEN YOU’RE BACK! How are you sweet thing!? I’m so glad to hear that your request box is open again! I’m so excited to see what wondrous words you’ll dazzle us with next!

I just had the most splendiferous like EVER, and I can’t believe I hadn’t thought about it sooner. But you like Peepaw Leo right? And I like Peepaw Leo.

So I was thinking like you know…maybe if you’re feeling up for it (if and only if of course) you wouldn’t mind sharing your thoughts on how F!Leo would react to someone who’s generally super amiable and confident with all the other and resistance members, suddenly turns almost painfully polite an awkward around him. (This is legit how I act around people who I think are attractive) It happens so much to the point that he thinks they don’t him when in reality, they like him so much it flusters them to the point they don’t know how to act around them.

Basically I just wanna see how a “mature” Leo would act when he realizes someone likes him so much they can’t function 😆

Once again, this is just an idea to get those creative juices flowing, so please do with it as you so wish and remember that you’re a darling treasure! MWUAH 😘🧡✨

anon-chan!!! hello!!! 🫂🫂🫂 i’m so glad to see you in my inbox!!!

congratulations anon-chan! this is officially the most difficult request that has ever been asked of me. i’ve spent weeks trying to figure this out. started writing a little fic, but it didn’t feel right. so i thought maybe i could do some headcanons, but every time i tried to start i didn’t know where to start!

the problem i’m having is variables. there are so many variables for how this could turn out, mostly depending on timing. when exactly during the resistance does this happen? because i feel like that informs leo’s response. so have some of my unfiltered thoughts. a peek into how i “organize” my writing thoughts, if you will. i’m sorry in advance

Early 20s: This Leo is still confident and optimistic, at least outwardly. He and his brothers defeated Shredder twice, how hard can the Kraang be? Sure, they need some help and it’ll take longer, but it’ll definitely work out in the end and life will resume as normal. Right?

So I imagine that Leo at this age would see you suddenly pulling away and acting formal with him and get upset at first. He thought you were friends, why are you doing this? He would likely reciprocate or get snippy, at least until one of his brothers, probably Mikey but possibly Raph, comes to him and is like “Dude. Come on.” Give the guy a break, there’s a lot going on you know??? So at his brother’s suggestion, he sits back and observes.

When he finally confirms for himself that you do, in fact, have feelings for him and that’s why you’re being standoffish with him, watch out! This little shit is going to make you suffer a bit. He’s going to start flirting with you. Lots of compliments, little winks, soft touches… You will be inundated.

Something changes. Perhaps they lose their biggest battle to date. Perhaps someone close to him dies. Perhaps it is Casey Jr’s birth. Any way it plays out, Leo realizes that life is shorter than it seems, that love is precious and fleeting and should be grasped. He realizes that his teasing may be a little more… genuine on his side than he’d realized.

So he comes to you. Perhaps he goes full ham, arranges a romantic meeting somewhere, plans a dinner. Perhaps you end up in danger, and he goes a little crazy about it. Perhaps it is just a quiet moment that the two of you manage to steal. Either way, he tells you how he feels.

Late 20s/Early 30s: Now here is a Leo who is starting to realize that they might be in over their heads. He’s lost at least one member of his family. He’s watched them steadily lose ground to the Kraang, despite everyone giving their best effort. He is starting to understand that they might not win this fight. At this point he’s probably learned how the Kraang came to our world and that he played a part in their arrival.

This Leo is overwhelmed, but still holding strongly to hope. He’s determined to do everything in his power to keep morale up. That’s why he notices immediately when you seem to start pulling away from him. He takes it a little personally at first. Yeah, maybe he’s not as fun as he used to be, but he’s trying to run a resistance here, that’s no reason to give him the cold shoulder. He resolves to approach you about it.

Something changes. Perhaps he notices you give him a sidelong glance. Perhaps someone teases you and he overhears. Perhaps he sits you down for that talk and you confess. He learns why you are so standoffish, and suddenly he has a choice to make.

Leading a resistance is a 24/7 job. He has no time for anything, especially when he has so much to make up for. Does he even deserve the sliver of happiness you’re offering him? And there’s the niggling thought in the back of his head that everything is futile anyway, that they’re going to lose and you’re going to die.

But if there’s one thing he’s learned out of all of this, it’s that life is short. He doesn’t want to die with regrets, and he knows he would regret not taking this chance. And he wants to give you what happiness he can, you deserve that. Wouldn’t it be a little “fuck you” to the Kraang, to find some peace in the midst of the chaos they (he) created?

He goes for it. He takes the risk, jumps in feet first, and tells you how he feels.

Late 30s: Leon. Oh Leon. He holds onto hope fiercely, with both hands, but he can’t, he won’t, keep any of it for himself. He understands implicitly that even if by some miracle they win, he’s not going to survive this fight.

He’s going to notice immediately when your behavior changes, when you get stiff with him. He keeps his finger on the pulse of everyone close to him, pays attention so that he can help them if they start to flag. It won’t take long for him to pull you aside, to ask you if everything is okay, if you need a break.

He’s going to figure it out, whether because you admit it to him or through context clues. He’s had years to hone his considerable talent in understanding people, his preternatural ability to know what they want with a glance.

He’s going to figure it out, and he’s going to do… nothing. As long as there’s the tiniest chance that you could survive this, he refuses to tie you to a corpse. Besides, he has been thinking up a plan, a last ditch effort, and maybe you could be the one to put it into action…

Your death hits him like a freight train. His own is a relief.

~~~

head bonks: @yorshie @avery73 @justalotoffanfiction @thejudiciousneurotic @writinandcrying @xnorthstar3x @celticvix @donniesgirlie @gornackeaterofworlds @thelaundrybitch @shakeyourtrees

[halogalopaghost]

Heck it, TMNT 2003 Raphael Ninja Turtle headcanon time

Leo and Mikey are subject to any and all verbal ridicule. He will straight up say "you are ugly and I wish you'd never been born you piece of garbage brother" to the most minor offense

BUT. If Leo so much as stubs his toe he is all over it, he's the first responder on scene and he's taking a full set of vitals, he's rolling out the red carpet to the infirmary to put a hello kitty bandaid on it and kiss it better

Mikey is subject to both verbal abuse and laughter at most minor physical injury

Donnie is immune from both

He'll joke around with his dad, Splinter isn't totally immune to teasing and verbal abuse, but he is so fucking gentle with him physically. Like, he will hold his arm while he's going up and down the stairs at the farm on days where Splinter's leg is bothering him, he'll make tea for him and insist he doesn't get up, the whole nine yards. Splinter loves it but sometimes even he is like "okay please you are being so so clingy"

If anyone dares to even look the wrong way at Splinter, Raph will murderkillmaim them so fast. Casey gets squarely slapped in the face for disrespecting Splinter on accident exactly one time, and then he watches his fuckin mouth after that because wow, that little green dude is kinda scary when he's mad...

Raph has a high pain tolerance and a low pain threshold. Meaning he feels pain rather quickly—cuts, strained muscles, headaches, it hurts faster and more intensely for him than it appears to for others. But since he can tolerate the pain, it usually goes unacknowledged. When Donnie finally figures this out he comes so close to just putting a bubble around him. Indefinite house arrest, not allowed to get hurt ever again.

He's autistic with a side of ADHD, RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria), and PDA (pathological demand avoidance). His "anger issues" are just.....that.

He struggles with identifying emotions, and articulating them by extension. This is part of the reason he's such a tactile person; he could say he loves someone, but he'd way rather just hug the living daylights out of them. He could say he's angry, but he'd rather go work his punching bag for a few hours.

LOVES film noir. Eats that shit up constantly. He picked up a lot of speech patterns from watching those old movies, and maybe a little bit of that accent too tbh. He calls April a dame exactly ONE time and gets laughed out of NYC entirely (by his brothers. Even that early on, April can smell the RSD on him)

Loves Christmas. Loves sweets and gift-giving and being warm and knitting, Christmas is just the natural extension of that. And he likes the focus on being with your family/quality time.

Does NOT like Christmas music

[lilwenney]

single will has me feeling a type of ~ way ~ so pls write something of a first date to help me get through this

lemme cook here.

this, but it's a blind date.

his producer abygail brought it up, mostly as a joke, late one night while they were all stuck in the office. mikey had cracked some joke about how they could make a video of will's (less than successful) dates that was quickly shot down, but abygail was more serious when she said "i should set you up with my friend, she's cute, i think you would like her."

and will, who had been out on two dates in the past month that were less than ideal, kept it in mind. he needed to get out more, go somewhere else that wasn't the studio, office, or his empty flat. so before he packed up to go home, he stopped by abygail's desk and asked if she had her friend's number. she did, she gave her friends a heads up via text, and then gave will the number.

you had woke up the next morning to a few social media notifications, and two missed texts. one text from your friend abygail, and one from an unknown number. you checked the text from abygail first.

trying to set you up with someone again. giving will your number.

all you could do was roll your eyes and laugh. abygail, along with the rest of your friend group from university, had a tendency to try and set you up with any single guy they met. you were the last one of the group without a boyfriend, and it wasn't because they didn't have a say in it.

you shot abygail a quick text back before opening the other text from an unknown number. the text was introducing himself, telling her that abygail had tossed out the idea to him and he decided to go for it, asking if you wanted to go out for a drink with him.

you had only heard about will from abygail - from when she landed the job as his producer and then from any general funny stories she had from working at the office or while traveling. but you didn't know anything else about him - what he looked like, where he was from. you barely had a general idea of what he done for a living.

"just tell me you didn't get me up with an absolute loser," you begged abygail as you swiped on a layer of lipgloss in your mirror in preparation to leave to meet will.

"he's not a loser, i promise," she said through a laugh. "he's funny and can be really sweet, and he's cute, so that's a plus too."

you double checked your purse before looking up at her and nodding. "let's just hope you didn't change your standards since the last time i checked." and she just laughed and shoved you out the door of the flat.

you met will in stratford. as you approached him standing outside, waiting for you to arrive, you cursed abygail for not introducing the two of you sooner. fuck, he's cute was the only thing running through your head. abygail's standards didn't drop after all.

so you tried to play it cool all night. you two greeted each other with formalities and a hug before heading inside, taking the elevator floors up to the restaurant bar, and you wound up outside on the terrace with drinks downed between you both.

will was cute, but he was also funny, he had an accent that you adored, and you were able to flow through conversation with him like it was nothing. and will had to admit that he thought you were so attractive that it almost made him nervous, like he was swinging way out of his league, but when he had you giggling, he relaxed.

abygail had done good for the both of you.

standing on the edge of the terrace, leaned against the railing as the wind nipped at skin that wasn't covered by will's jacket. he lent the jacket to you when he noticed you shiver at the night wind, and you caught the scent of his cologne on the material.

"i wish she had something sooner, would've saved me a lot of absolutely horrendous dates." you told will after he said he wanted to text abygail and thank her for the idea.

"you too? fuck," will chuckled as he turned to you. "thank you for coming with me, when you didn't have to."

you could see the sincerity in his eyes as he looked at you and you calmed your racing heart with a nod.

"i'm glad i came," you told him. "i just, uh, i hope i didn't run you off with all the stories i've spilled tonight."

he shook his head and leaned off the railing, taking a small step towards you. your eyes followed him, head tilted back as he hovered over you.

"don't think you can run me off, especially not after you didn't say anything when i told you i have a tattoo of a bloody f1 car." he said with a grin and you laughed.

"i thought it was cute, you and your little race car..."

"oh yeah?" he teased, a hand reaching up to touch your face.

"yeah," your laugh continued as you tilted your chin forward, a signal that he caught onto with ease, and will leaned down, meeting you in the middle with you on your tippy-toes for a kiss that sealed the fate for the rest of the night. and even a little longer, too.

[starjaeyun]

FOOLISH ONE : you are not the exception, you will never learn your lesson !

— maybe should've listened to your friends when they warned you about hanma shuji

includes! hanma shuji x fem! reader

warnings! angst, hanma is an asshole (let's be real though, it's hanma we're talking abt 😭), obvious redflags, profanity, crying crying crying, break up

note! hello, it's me. ms. posts something then disappears. i'm sorry for ghosting u guys & my smaus 😭

"him again, huh?" to say the least, your friends were unimpressed that you came to them crying the morning after your 3rd month with Hanma.

Hina sighed, "listen, I'm all for helping them become a better person but it's been three months and I don't see any improvement in his behavior at all"

"and this isn't the first time he didn't show up to your plans. why are you even settling for the guy?" Emma says, visibly trying to control herself from throwing insults at your boyfriend, if you could even consider him that, because as much as she wants to she knows that that's not what you need right now.

"and not to mention, you've been a mess ever since that thing came into your life. just break up with him already y/n. don't settle for a guy like that, you deserve so much more" Yuzuha rubs a comforting hand against your back, "it also hurts us seeing you heartbroken because of some..guy you know"

you sobbed, "that's the thing! I don't know why I can't stop myself from seeing him, I don't even know how I ended up dating him!"

"personally, I think you're out of options. do you want me to introduce you to Mikey-nii? you haven't met him yet, right?" Emma was only half-joking, of course

"now is not the time Ems" Hina lightly slapped Emma's shoulder

after a few more minutes, you've finally calmed down, "I've decided, I'm breaking up with him"

the girls immediately engulfed you in a hug, each of them giving you their goodluck.

the break up went successfully, Hanma didn't try to stop you nor did he seem to care. and while he didn't make it hard for you to end things with him, it made it hard for you to move on and get yourself together.

you spent at least 3 months crying over him, wondering if you made the right decision, which your friends reassured you that you did.

after all your crying, you started focusing more on yourself, friends, school, and family. and your friends couldn't be any happier as they watched how fast you were improving.

but 6 months after your break up and 3 months into your improvements, Hanma Shuji somehow managed to slither his way into your life again.

"hey" your breath hitched upon hearing his voice because what the fuck is he doing outside your classroom? you ignore his presence and continue to walk down the hallway, silently wishing that he's not waiting for you, that would make you feel better.

"don't ignore me" Hanma easily caught up to your retreating figure. you continue to walk as if he wasn't walking right behind you.

and just as you step foot out of the school premises, Hanma pulls you to the nearest alleyway.

but even when it was just the two of you, you refused to look up, you refused to show him the tears building up in your eyes.

"I'm sorry" you stay silent, not looking up or moving an inch

"I was an asshole" he was yet again met by silence, "but I've been thinking about you..since we broke up and I know it's late but I've only come to realize this"

Hanma sighed, "I love—"

"don't you fucking dare!" you finally look up, tears spilling out. "but—"

"NO!" you feel the small and sharp rocks in the alleyway pierce your skin when you fell to your knees, "It's unfair, you can't just— you can't just treat me like bullshit, not give a fuck when I break up with you, and suddenly come to my life a few months later to tell me that you love me!" you sob into your hands, all your hardwork and improvements these past 6 months were immediately washed down the drain.

"I'm sorry—"

"No! fuck you and your stupid fucking apology!" you gather the remaining strength in your body to stand up and walk away

you are not the exception, you remind yourself of Emma's hurtful but truthful words

Hanma won't make a change for you. Hanma won't make you an exception.

"I'll change!" Hanma engulfs you in a back hug, "for you. I'll do everything it takes to win you back, I'll treat you better, anything..just please give me a chance"

you let out a shaky breath as Hanma turned you around, "I love you" he whispers

tears slip out once more and he cups your face to wipe them with his thumb, "I fucking hate you" he continues to wipe your seemingly never ending stream of tears

"I know..it's okay, you have every right" a kiss on your forehead was all it took to break your cracked resolve, "may I..." his face inched closer to yours and when you responded by wrapping your arms around his neck, he closed the gap.

you will never learn your lesson

© starjaeyun on tumblr | do not steal, copy, translate or repost

[cherryp0p224]

Rise turtles + april cuddle headcanons?

Cuddle Headcanons!!!

Raphael:

I personally headcanon raph to have physical touch as his love language. Being the oldest, the best way to show his brothers love is with bear hugs and hair ruffles, but with an S/O, his cuddles will be much more intimate

Snuggle sessions are his favorite quality time with his S/O. Sometimes the poor boy just needs to settle down and receive some loving

Typically Raph is the big spoon because, well he a big boy and he's got spikes on his shell, but he wishes he could be a little spoon so bad

Let this sweetheart lay on your lap, please, its the closest thing he can get to being little spoon

Since he's a lot bigger, he'll typically lay you on his plastron or in his lap to cuddle, but if your just as big as him, he'll wanna lay on top of you with his head on your chest

For the times your in his lap, he loves to hug you from behind and rest his head on your shoulder

Raph really loves it when you give him cuddle time kisses. Kiss his head and his tail will be wagging for hours

Warning though: Alligator snapping turtles have bigger, longer tails, so you'll probably have to deal with loud thumping from his tail wags

Leonardo:

Leo seems like the type of guy to have no problem with physical affection at all, but when it gets to a more intimate level, I feel like that might take him some time to get used to it. As flirtatious as he is, he's still new to showing love without the teasing

After getting used to cuddles from his S/O, he will have no problem asking for more or luring them in for a cuddle sesh

Leo will ALWAYS want to be the big spoon. He loves to just wrap his arms around your waist and hold you in his arms. It makes him feel like your hero

For most cuddle sessions, Leo likes to lay his head on your chest while you scratch his head. It always puts him to sleep

I headcanon Leo giving words of affirmation as a love language, so during cuddle sessions, he'll be complimenting you endlessly

Also, prepare for a lot of neck kisses and nuzzles. He just Loves lovin on you

Once in a while, Leo might ruin the mood by blowing raspberries on your stomach or tickling you out of no where. He just wants to hear you laugh

Leo does NOT like churring out loud, he gets really embarrassed about it, but if you scratch the back of his shell while he's laying against you, he will become a churring mess

Michaelangelo

Mikey would definitely be the one to cuddle more than the rest of his brothers. He's just naturally clingy and very touchy. Even Donnie can't escape the hugs from Mikey, everyone gets a piece of the action with this little lad

Mikeys got a lot of energy bundled up in him, but when it comes to cuddle sessions, he settles down for some time with his S/O

Mikey doesn't care if he's big spoon or little spoon. He likes both holding you and being held by you, but on bad days, expect him to ask for little spoon position

There are gonna be a lot of nuzzles coming from this boy. You know how cats rub themselves against their owners? Yeh, that's mikey. This boy is all over you

Typically, Mikey will put some relaxing music on for cuddle sessions so that you two can wind down

Mikey tends to make little chirping sounds when he starts to really relax, so its a sign to let you know he might fall asleep

Sometimes, Mikey likes it when you take a clean paint brush and brush it against his shell. It's so soothing. Once in a while, he'll even use the paintbrush on you

Whenever you have a bad day, Mikey will lay you on his plastron and rub circles on your back or play with your hair

Donatello

Now Donnie has never been big on affection, we all know this, but even though he avoids affection, I do think he's touch starved. I don't think he hates it, I just think he doesn't know what to do with affection or intimacy, this ending with him reacting awkwardly

Be patient with Donnie, please. It's gonna take him a while until he's comfortable enough to cuddle, but once he's used to it, he LOVES it

Donnie will be very hesitant at first, but after the first few cuddle sessions, he takes his battle shell off

He'll definitely be a bit shy to ask for cuddles

He LOVES it when you rub his shell, he becomes a churring mess. Just make sure you do it gently, it's sensitive.

Don't you DARE go on your phone while you guys are cuddling, he will not hesitate to snatch that phone and toss it

Like Mikey, Donnies ok with being both big or little spoon, but he does prefer to be big spoon. Being little spoon makes him flustered

Give him cuddle sesh kisses, he'll turn into pudding

April:

Like raph, April plays the role of an older sibling, so she has no problem giving affection, she's all about the lovin and sisterly kisses for her new turtle siblings, but with her S/O, it's a whole other story. Prepare for lots of love

During cuddle sessions, April enjoys sitting in your lap while her head lays on your shoulder

April doesn't mind being little spoon every once in a while, but she much prefers to be big spoon. She can rub your stomach while hugging you from behind

Expect a lot of kisses during cuddle sessions with her. She is gonna be giving you smooches all the way from your head to your tummy

She likes to cup your face sometimes and compliment you endlessly. She just wants you to know how special you are to her and how lucky she is to have you

Sometimes if things are too quiet, she'll start flirting with you till you're as red as raphs mask. Things like holding your chin and whispering sweet nothings into your ears

Untie her hair, let it loose, and rub her head. She will be in heaven. Her hairs always tied up, so having it loose is just really relieving. It's even better when her S/O is sitting there, scratching her scalp.

April likes to sometimes tuck her head under your chin whenever she's in your lap. She just loves to close her eyes and take in your scent, it makes her feel at ease

[impuls1veworm]

IT FINALLY CLICKS.

˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚ prompt — “hello may i request reader and mikey being painfully oblivious with each other? anyone could see that both of them like each other BUT them?”

— Mikey x Reader

You and Mikey had actually met through an ex of yours. He was a good friend of your ex, and so you knew who Mikey was, though you had never actually talked to him. So, when you ran into him at a café a year after you and your ex split up, you were surprised when he approached you. Truthfully, you weren’t expecting much from the conversation, but as the two of you sat in that secluded booth catching up on life, you learned that Mikey was genuinely nice to talk to.

Three hours had passed before you realized how late it had gotten. Mikey apologized for holding you, and wrote his phone number on a napkin, telling you to text or call him any time. You tried to resist the urge to text him immediately, but only an hour after parting ways you were already messaging him.

Over the course of the next year you began falling for him, little at a time. You tried and tried to tell yourself what you felt for him was strictly platonic, as you didn’t want to give your hopes up and embarrass yourself by admitting to him how you truly felt. Mikey was just being a good friend to you, nothing more, you were sure of it.

Every time he walked you home from work, every time he had dinner with you, every time you asked to try his food and he let you, you fell a little harder for him. Everyone from mutual friends to his sister all asked you the same thing: when are you two going to get together? You always gave the same response; you truly did not think Mikey felt the same as you.

Until tonight.

Emma, Mikey’s little sister, invited him over to her house to have dinner with her new-formed family. Emma and her husband, Draken, were far from surprised when you walked through the door with him. They welcomed you both with open arms and Mikey made himself comfortable with Draken in the living room, while you followed Emma to the kitchen. You offered to help her, but she shooed you away, telling you that you're a guest and not to worry about helping her finish up.

The two of you were chatting and catching up about what you’d both been up to, when Emma got quiet. “What is it?” You asked, not sure why she suddenly went silent. She put her wooden spoon down, and walked over to where you sat. Sitting in the seat next to you, she faced you, and said as seriously as she could, “Mikey likes you, you know?”

“What? No he doesn’t,” You said, giving her an awkward laugh. Maybe Emma had bumped her head earlier today, and was now delusional. “(Y/N)…he picks you up from work everyday, he shares his food with you, he invites you to FAMILY dinners,” she stressed, “what other friends is he doing that for?”.

As you thought about it you realized Mikey truly didn’t do that for anyone else. Everyone else molded their days around him, as he did what he wished. You opened your mouth to reply to Emma when Draken walked in with Mikey trailing behind him talking loudly about how hungry he was. Emma quickly got up from her seat and busied herself with the final touches on dinner.

You wanted to confront Mikey about how you felt, but you wanted to be alone. It felt wrong to mention it with anyone else around.

The two of you were standing in front of your apartment, telling each other goodnight, when you decided to just admit to Mikey how you felt. Put all your cards on the table. So, as Mikey gave you a hug before parting ways, you quietly said, “I like you too, Mikey.”

Mikey froze and began to pull away, and for a second you almost regretted your decision, but as he pulled away and your eyes met his, Mikey cupped your cheeks and kissed you. Your heart thumped against in your chest in pure happiness, as love flooded your veins. You felt like a school girl being handed her first valentine by her crush.

As the two of you parted, Mikey’s hand stayed planted on your cheeks, as he eyed your face looking for the right words to say. Your hands came up and removed them from your face; you slid your plans against his as you threaded your fingers through his, holding his hands as you let your intertwined hands fall by your sides.

“Stay with me tonight.”