#i wish i could draw also i’m so sad that i can’t

[mediumgayitalian]

I LITERALLY SQUEAL WITH JOY WHEN I SEE THAT YOUVE UPDATED UR AWESOMELY TALTNED I LOVE U SO MUCH AGHHH

THANK YOU SO MUCH IM GLAD I HAVE SO MUCH FUN

[hobbithoes]

[saintobio]

blank canvas: the epilogue.

pairings. ryōmen sukuna, fem!reader

genre. past lovers, angst, opposites attract

tags/warnings. mentions of toxic relationships, purple hearts-ish themes, maybe some heartache

notes. 2.4k wc. i said it’ll come in a few days, but i had free time so here it issss!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

TWO YEARS LATER

Tonight was Yuki and Choso’s going-away party. 

Their decision to migrate to another side of the world was because Yuki had always talked about wanting to live abroad, and so when Choso was offered a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity in another country, it became the perfect chance for them to make that dream a reality.

So despite your apprehensions, you couldn’t miss the chance to see Yuki one last time and accepted her invitation to the party.

The evening was alive with laughter and chatter as their families and friends gathered to celebrate their bittersweet departure. Among the crowd, you spotted some familiar faces who exchanged greetings with the couple, as well as some strangers you had never seen before.

But one person was conspicuously absent. 

It had been two years since you had seen Sukuna, and the thought of potentially running into him again filled you with a strange mix of anticipation and dread. However, deep down, you knew he wouldn’t be there. There was no chance of him ever showing up because you hadn’t heard from him since that fateful night. The apartment you once shared together now housed a new tenant, and the tattoo shop across the street had transformed into a record store. Neither Yuki, nor Choso (even Yuuji), had mentioned anything about Sukuna since then, possibly avoiding any mentions of him to you out of his request. He had simply disappeared, evaporated from existence, leaving behind nothing but a fading memory.

As you scanned the room with a forlorn smile, your thoughts were interrupted by Yuki’s cheerful voice. “Y/N! So glad you could make it! I thought you weren’t gonna come, too.”

Your first instinct was to hug her tightly. “Of course, not! You know I can’t not see you before you go.”

“Aww.” She embraced you tighter before pulling away with a sad smile. “I’m gonna miss you so much. You’re like a little sister to me.” 

Indeed, and she was the big sister you never had. Things would feel different without her here, but you supported her decisions and would always wish her the best in her future endeavors. So, despite the distance you two would soon have, you gave her a reassuring pat on the back. “We can still keep in touch. And maybe, I’ll pay you a visit there, too.” 

“Honestly, I would love that!” she enthused, “Please do, even if I have to harass Getou and Gojou about it.” 

You chuckled as she mentioned the duo’s name and spent the next few minutes with you chatting for a bit, catching up with your life, talking about your future plans. It was amazing how much can change in two years, and how some things can also stay the same. Like your friendship. And this bond that you would never find with anyone else.

For now, the night was still young, and you knew Yuki still had many more guests to accommodate, so you didn’t want to take all of her time. Eventually she did excuse herself to greet more guests, and you found yourself standing by the kitchen island, absentmindedly stirring your cocktail.

As you stood in the corner of the room, surrounded by the chatter and laughter of the party, you felt a sudden jolt run through your body as loud voices boomed across the room. They were Yuuji and Choso’s exuberant greetings cutting through the air, drawing everyone’s attention, including yours.

“Nii-san!”

“There he goes, Mr. First Lieutenant!” 

Your eyes widened as you saw the figure they were addressing with playful salute—a man in a crisp military uniform, standing tall and confident. It took you a moment to recognize him, but when you did, your heart skipped a beat.

It was Sukuna.

He looked different, transformed almost, his demeanor more composed, his smile softer yet still retaining the undeniable aura of masculinity. He looked a lot more muscular than the last you remembered. His hair, now dyed back to its natural color, was neatly trimmed. You recognized that the uniform he wore was of the Japan Self-Defense Forces, adorned with badges and insignias that spoke of his achievements. The reckless, wild look in his eyes had been replaced by something steadier, more focused.

It wasn’t just the sight of him that made your heart skip a beat—it was how different he looked. 

“That’s so cool!” Yuuji raved about his older brother’s badges, his starry eyes genuinely intrigued at the sight of Sukuna in a uniform. 

Choso, on the other hand, was pulling him in a hug in an emotional jest. “Dammit. You said you couldn’t make it!” 

“Don’t cry now,” Sukuna teased, patting the younger brother’s back. He seemed to be genuinely having fun teasing his brothers. “Had to pull some strings. I was on duty, but do ‘ya think I’d let you go without seeing you?” 

You felt a pang of nostalgia in their interaction, but also recognized the visible difference in the way your ex-boyfriend spoke to others. He was genuinely happy. He was all smiles. He was the healthiest version of himself, both physically and emotionally.

It was clear to you that Sukuna had turned his life around, and it was evident that he was doing well in his field of work. The man you once knew, who had been consumed by his reckless way of life, was now standing tall and respected as an honorable member of the military.

When you said you had never met Sukuna again in your lifetime, that was true. Because the Sukuna you knew was no longer here. It was an entirely different man, changed for the better, just not for you. 

As if sensing your gaze, Sukuna turned and your eyes mirrored each other’s surprise. For a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away, as if you were characters in a movie screen seeing each other for the very first time. It was as though your eyes were the camera, and he was the actor. You could say you were starstruck, your heart thumping so loud that you could hear it vibrate through your ears. 

Two freaking years, and Sukuna still had that effect on you. 

You didn’t know what to do. You found yourself at a loss, the red cup in your hand now shaking from the sudden surge of anxiety. Your mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts, a kaleidoscope of heavy emotions, a tornado of nostalgic bliss, leaving you feeling adrift in a sea of memories. 

You wondered if Sukuna hated having to see you here. And if so, should you leave to spare yourself—or perhaps him—from any potential discomfort?

Caught in this internal struggle, you felt paralyzed, uncertain of what to do next. But then, you saw a flicker of recognition and regret in his eyes. 

Before you could even contemplate your next move, Sukuna was already excusing himself from his brothers. Their knowing looks exchanged in silence spoke volumes, indicating they were aware of where he was headed. The realization then hit you like a wave. Sukuna, your ex-boyfriend of two years, was coming toward you, and you were suddenly faced with a decision between confronting the past or making a quick escape.

“Y/N,” he greeted with a boyish grin, his voice deeper, more controlled. The bad boy persona he used to carry was completely gone. 

“Sukuna,” you replied, struggling to keep your voice steady, a complete opposite from his confidence.

There was a moment of awkward silence before he spoke again. “You look great.”

“Thanks,” you meekly replied, clearing your throat and gesturing to his uniform, “You, too. Military suits you. I never saw that coming.”

He smiled in agreement, seemingly happy about his current appearance. You had never seen this kind of bliss from him before, like he was filled with content and a sense of self-worth. He was proud, and truth be told, you were, too. 

“It’s been a good change. It gave me structure, purpose,” he paused, taking a red cup from the kitchen island nearby, “I finally got something ‘better’ to do with my life, huh?”

You smiled softly, not missing the implication of his last statement. “I’m happy for you. Really.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” 

“Mhmm.” 

The minutes that followed were some of the most agonizing of your life, not because of Sukuna, but because of the overwhelming awkwardness that enveloped the two of you. It felt as though you had nothing else to discuss, knowing full well that delving into your shared past was a territory you could never comfortably navigate. However, Sukuna, always the more vocal one in your relationship, had finally broken the silence.

“Do you…” he began, leaving you on edge, anticipating his question, “Do you wanna get some fresh air outside?” 

Right. And with a smile, you nodded. “Sure.” 

— —

You were grateful for the opportunity to escape the stifling atmosphere of the party and find some solace in the cool night air. Both of you were at the front porch, sitting over the pavement talking about anything but your past. 

Sukuna excitedly talked about his time in the military, where you learned that he had enlisted two years ago and joined the army. After enlisting, he quickly excelled in the rigorous training required for the Special Operations Group (SOG). It didn’t surprise you that his physical prowess, sharp intellect, and determination made him a standout candidate.

“I actually completed advanced courses in counter-terrorism, reconnaissance, and combat survival,” he shared, his gaze set on the clear starry night above you. “Oh, and last month, I was deployed on a high-stake mission overseas. We extracted hostages from a conflict zone. Remember the action movies we used to watch? It was exactly like that. It was fun, thrilling.” 

You listened intently, an elbow propped on your leg as you absorbed the enthusiasm in his stories. Pride and joy swelled in your heart as you heard him talk about something he was passionate about, because it was a stark contrast to the old Sukuna who wouldn’t have shown interest in these things. And this time around, you felt like you were infatuated again, but with the new him. 

“I’m really proud of you.” Longingness dripping from your voice. “Very proud. And you’re First Lieutenant, too? Wow.” 

The compliment seemingly made him blush, a sight so rare to see that you haven’t seen it throughout your relationship. “I wanted to become a better man.” 

You felt a squeeze in your heart. You recalled the words he said that night at the parking lot, of him telling you that he had his own insecurities, too. That he knew all along that your uncertainties about him were rooting from his way of life. That he was aware that he couldn’t give you the life you deserved. 

“Y/N.” Your name rolled off his tongue in an affectionate manner. He soon rose from his seat, prompting you to follow suit, before turning to face you. “I forgot to mention.”

You swallowed hard. “Yeah?”

His smile was sweet and genuine. “I’m engaged now.”

Oh.

Of course. 

What did you expect?

His words settled in your heart like a suffocating shroud. Despite the ache in your chest, you managed a polite nod, concealing the storm of emotions swirling inside you. But you couldn’t contain it—the damn tears that pooled in your eyes. Please, not now. You turned away, hoping to shield your reaction from him.

But it was all too late. 

He was already pulling you into an embrace, the familiarity in his warmth only making you weaker inside. “You are and will always be my greatest love,” he whispered into your ear, pressing his lips against your temple, “And also my biggest regret.”

Damn it. You covered your face with your hands, feeling ashamed of the tears streaming down your cheeks. What an absurd twist of fate. You could have gone about your day without encountering him again, yet here you were, shedding tears over the same man who had broken your heart two years ago.

“When I say regret,” he continued, cupping your cheeks and smiling at you lovingly. He ran his thumb across your cheeks, wiping your tears away. “I meant regret of not being that man for you. I didn’t treat you the way you deserved, or respected your boundaries like I thought I did.” Sukuna’s charm had you holding your breath still, too enamored by his beauty under the moonlight. He used to be a man of a few words, and now he didn’t shy away from pouring out his raw emotions. “I’m sorry I was two years too late. I’m sorry I had to let you go and be with someone else. But you and I know that it’s for the best.”

You weren’t crying because you wanted to get back together with him. You weren’t crying because he had promised marriage to someone else. You were crying because it felt like he was the one who slipped through your fingers, the one that got away, the one who could have been your forever if circumstances had aligned differently. It was the regret of a lost possibility, the ache of knowing that in another universe, you and him could have shared a lifetime together, untouched by the mistakes of the past.

He had dreams of making you his wife, dreams of having your children, dreams of growing old with you.

But the old Sukuna was dead, replaced by the new Sukuna who was happy and free from love’s toxicity. You realized it was time to let go. Time to bury the past and instead celebrate the future. 

“Congratulations on the engagement,” you offered your well wishes, pulling away slightly to meet his gaze with your tear-filled eyes. “I hope she doesn’t find you a handful.”

He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “No, no. I have to behave or else I’m a dead man,” he joked. “She's in the army, too.”

“Well, I’m glad you met her, Sukuna. You deserve it,” you said, your voice filled with genuine warmth as you wiped your lachrymose eyes. 

Gratitude and comfort shone in his gaze. “And I’m glad you found your peace, Y/N. You always deserved better.”

You smiled in appreciation of his words as he helped you dust off your pants. Just then, your phone buzzed in your pocket, briefly taking your attention away from the current scene. “Uh, I think I need to go,” you hesitated, glancing back at the house. “But I think Yuki’s pretty busy.”

“It’s fine,” he assured. “Do you want me to call you a cab or?”

“No, it’s okay,” you replied, shooting him a grateful expression. “Satoru’s on his way to pick me up.”

He nodded, smiling. “Cool.” You were surprised when he offered his hand, a gesture to finally close whatever remained between you two. “It was nice seeing you, Y/N.”

You shook his hand and gave him a playful salute. “Likewise, First Lieutenant Ryomen Sukuna.”

As he returned to the party, immediately attacked by his friends, there was no hint of yearning or longing in him, as if the poignant exchange with his ex-girlfriend had never occurred. He was back in the scene in a fluid motion, laughing, catching up with his loved ones, telling stories about his life. No heartbreaks, no painful memories.

While as you stood there, knowing you had shared respect and love for each other, you were happy that there was a sense of closure in seeing Sukuna as the man he had become. You had both grown, both changed, and in that moment, you knew that your story, though painful, had led you two to where you needed to be. 

That your love’s canvas, once blank, now held colors to complete the portrait.

[leonw4nter]

I really like ur fics with Leon as a dad 🤍 can I request one where it’s angst at the start but happy at the end? I think with Leon’s job he’s probably alway moving to new places and his wife is kinda at the point where she just can’t take it and worried for their kid?

My Baby Here On Earth Showed Me What My Heart Was Worth

Husband!RE:Damnation!Leon x F!Reader

“The kids are sleeping now,” you quietly tell your husband as you get into bed with him.

He hums a response, setting aside a copy of William Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury as he gets up. To go look at the kids one more time for the night, he says as he walks around the foot of the bed and towards the door. You wait until Leon noiselessly closes the door, his footsteps growing fainter as he grows more distanced from you, to sigh deeply, sitting up to lean against the cold headboard as you bury your face in your hands for a moment. You love Leon and you know that he loves you and your kids too but he’s grown increasingly distant with each passing day after coming home from deployment to the Eastern Slav Republic. You’ve done your best to show that you’re there for him, initiating conversations and even giving him simple compliments but the most he’s done is look in your direction and nod. A hum and a forced smile, if you’re lucky and he’s feeling less bad about himself. He still took care of the kids, driving them to school and playing with them in the afternoons but it’s clear that his mind is far from home. Even the kids could sense just how weary their father is, doing their best to cheer him up by giving him colorful drawings and letters. “Don’t be sad, daddy! Me, Ollie, and mama are here for yuo!” one of them reads, the word ‘you’ misspelled but Leon loved it nonetheless. For a quick moment he genuinely smiled whenever he read the letters and saw the drawings again before the frown took its place in his face again as he put the artwork in a folder and placed it back in the drawer cabinet.

You lifted your head from your hands when Leon walked back in, silent as always as he headed back to his side of the bed. You stared at him, urging him to say something–anything, just to dissolve the wall that he put up around himself but to no one’s surprise, he doesn’t speak. He checks the time on his phone and decides that it’s far too late to continue reading his book and sinks down beneath the covers, muttering a nearly inaudible ‘goodnight’ to you before he closes his eyes and drifts to sleep. Hurt, you scoff at how distant he feels. Physically, he’s home and with you but you know that emotionally and mentally, he’s still on the other side of the world and dealing with Tyrants, Lickers, and corrupt leaders. Turning the lamp off, you sink into the sheets as well and turn to face the wall. You have so much to say, so much to express to him but you’re afraid that this will only push him further from you even more. Worst case scenario, he packs his bags and sleeps in a hotel for a week before coming home plastered. He’s never done that before but you don’t want this rift to widen to the point he even considers doing that, maybe even leave behind the family he has with you for the enigmatic woman in red. Inhaling deeply, you shut your eyes before you speak to him. You don’t even think deeply about what you’re doing before your fears get to you and force you to shut up again.

“I can’t keep doing this, Leon.” You shakily begin. “We can’t keep doing this. I’m here for you, so are the kids, but you’re pushing us all away.”

“I need space.” He responds. Short and curt, straight to the point but you wish he said more.

“What does ‘space’ mean to you, Leon?” you gently ask as you sit up and face him who is still curled up on his side, his face hidden away like a secret. “I just want to know what I can do to support you while also giving you some time alone.”

“Leave me alone. There. That’s the kind of space I want,” he grumbles as he sits up, facing you. You stay silent for a moment, your sympathetic gaze on him but his eyes are elsewhere as he runs a hand through his dark hair, not wanting to see the look on your face.

“Okay. But let’s still talk, okay? Let’s voice out how we feel and communicate, I want to be able to provide you with what you need–”

“Why are you doing this?” Leon interrupts, not out of irritation but rather out of wonder. Your eyes widen for a quick moment before you inch a little near him, hesitant to reach out and place your hand on his hand.

“Because I care for you, Leon, and I don’t want to see you suffer alone. I want to be here for you and share the weight of the world on your shoulders too. You don’t have to keep it all to yourself, I can see it eating away at you.”

He doesn’t stop you when you take his hand, feeling the scars and calluses on them. He quite misses your touch, actually, but he felt like he was throwing himself a pity party whenever he thought about asking you for a hug or a kiss.

“I don’t want to bring home anything from work,” he explains. “I don’t plan on mixing it– work and home life… and I didn’t expect for it to get to this. That I’m pushing you and the kids away. I don’t… I don’t want my family to even think about how the monsters I’ve killed looked like or how I killed them. Something as precious as you three don’t deserve that. Our little ones, most of all.”

Pulling him in for the first hug in nearly two weeks, after two weeks of Leon trying to avoid your physical display of affection, he gives in. He leans his forehead on your shoulder but doesn’t wrap his arms around you and instead, lies limply on his side.

“Oh Leon,” you delicately whisper. Sushing and humming the same tune you used to hum when your toddlers were still tiny babies, you tenderly sway Leon from side to side in order to ease all the anguish he bottled up and refused to share. It doesn’t take long for his tears to wet your shoulder, his large frame shaken with stifled sobs. He went by “Condor One”, “Agent Kennedy”, and many other aliases required by his job but at the end of the day, he is your Leon Scott Kennedy. “Daddy”, as his dear children would call him.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

Leon slept in your arms, his head buried in your side with an arm slung around your stomach, for the first time in the longest time. He still shook and spoke in his sleep, flinching at times, but his sleep appeared to be much more restful. It was your turn to be unable to fall asleep now, a hand gently patting Leon’s shoulder blade with a watchful eye observing him. You were tired from the entire day and the crying you did with him hours ago but you couldn’t find it in you to doze off; you thought about your kids’ future and raising them, along with considering the fact that Leon was rarely home for a long time and was always moving to new places for indefinite periods. Each mission brought the fear that this would be the last time you’d see Leon alive, to be talking to you in person and that what would come home to you are two agents holding a folded flag, an urn, and what remained of his gear instead. It would be cruel for Leon, who proudly proclaims that his life has only begun when he met you. Leon, who knew what it meant to truly live when he found out that you were pregnant with his children. You knew that it also hurt Leon to leave at ungodly hours of the night when he was going to be deployed for a mission and to think that his kids would wonder where their daddy is and why he’s always gone. You’re used to Leon’s constant absence but it doesn’t hurt any less each time he has to go. His job is bad for your heart, constantly putting it in a state of worry and fear. It always stung whenever your kids asked if they could go with Leon when he had to leave on an “adventure” because they wanted to spend more time with him. You hated breaking the news to Leon that he’d have to miss out on another one of their school events, having to phone Chris or Patrick to attend in his place; he sounded so pained whenever he asked about the details of the event, his dreams of walking up the stage and being active in his childrens’ schooling playing in his head every time he closed his eyes for a quick nap before being back on his feet and killing monsters. Ultimately, you decided to give the kids a day trip with Leon since their only trip with Leon was when they were still babies. Sighing once more before giving sleep another try, you start to mentally compile all the things needed for tomorrow’s road trip.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

“She’s already got a stain on his shirt and the ice cream hasn’t even melted yet,” Leon says with an amused grin as he tries to wipe the chocolate off of Euphemia’s pink shirt with a wet wipe. You’re preoccupied with watching over the other twin Ollie, who’s trying to call a stray cat and give the kitty a lick of his vanilla ice cream. You look back at Leon, who’s giving his daughter kisses as he got the stain to look a lot less dark than it was earlier.

“Pheme still tends to get ice cream everywhere,” you softly tell him as you offer another set of wipes, to which he declines since the stain isn’t obvious and the wipes could be used for later. Leon smiles when he notices you use the nickname he gave to Euphemia; he’s managed to get you to use this one instead of his other loving nickname for Oliver, “Rolliver Polliver”, derived from when Ollie almost ate a roly poly bug.

All of you finish eating ice cream without getting any more stains or a cat being fed something it shouldn’t be fed and get back to the car, hitting the road once more. Queen, Hall & Oates, Elton John, and The Flamingos have been traded for nursery rhymes and songs to induce sleep in toddlers in order to get them to nap a little bit. Instead of Leon sitting in the passenger seat with you, he decided to sit at the back in between the kids in order to spend some time being near them on the road trip. The twins seemed to have gotten their habit of sleeping with their head leaned back and mouth slightly ajar while softly snoring from Leon, who is also asleep with his hands on their child car seat. Caught in a red light, you quietly observe this tender moment in the front and snap a few pictures of them with your digital camera from 1989 that still surprisingly works well. You giggle at the sight behind you, heart melting at seeing your husband and children look so adorable. His jacket is on your lap when you told him that you were feeling a little chilly, insisting that he’s fine in the back without one. Just earlier, he was making funny faces and holding a serious, one-sided conversation with his little ones, making them laugh and giggle at his every word and now they’re all asleep together. If it means having more moments like this, you’re ready to fight the D.S.O. for keeping your husband occupied on the other side of the world. You guess that it’s also moments like these that Leon continues to fight bioterrorism so that other families can safely enjoy moments like this one without worrying about monsters coming to harm their loved ones. Since the red light is still going and you seem to have been caught in a moderate traffic, you take out your video cam and film the soft scene behind you. “Papa and the kiddos are sleeping together, their snoring isn’t in sync so there’s no moment of silence for me but I don’t mind. I love you all so much and momma is very happy right now.”

After nearly four hours of driving, you four finally get to the cliff overlooking the great wide sea. Parking your car to a safe place, you take out the picnic basket and start preparing your spot. You two chose a spot underneath the shade of a thick tuliptree, a cover from the hot sun. The kids have been asking so much about finally being able to play soccer and ‘helicopter’, a game where Pheme and Ollie hang from Leon’s arms as he spins around (the twins have promised to never, ever play ‘helicopter’ again because they got dizzy but they seem to have ‘forgotten’ it this time) and you explained that they can play an hour after having the picnic and when the sun isn’t so hot anymore. Leon agrees and although the twins don’t seem too happy, they don’t appear to mind it that much since they’re eager to help Leon in unloading the car (he gave them the lighter tasks). As soon as the food is set and most of the bugs have been successfully warded off, the twins gather to sit beside you but before everyone can take a bite of the sandwiches, Leon gets up and takes the digital camera and snaps a couple of pictures, even attempting a selfie at one point. Soon, everyone digs into their sandwiches and stuffs their faces full of the snacks you and Leon prepared together in the morning.

─────────────────────────────────────────────────────

After what felt like the nth picture Leon has taken of you and the twins, he finally puts the camera down and puts it back in its case but picks up the video cam instead. The twins groan, urging their dad for more playtime even if they’re drenched in sweat with dirty knees.

“5 minutes,” Leon says as he starts recording. “Papa’s back hurts. Why don’t you ask mama?”

“Mama already played! She can’t carry us and she says she’s also tired! She’s reading now!” Pheme exclaims.

He points the camera towards you, reading a pocketbook in the picnic basket while dabbing your forehead and neck with a towel. He laughs and calls you, causing you to look up from the book you were engrossed with and blow him a kiss. He laughs one more time, ‘catching’ the kiss and placing it inside his shorts pocket which gets a giggle out of you.

“My beautiful wife is uhh sitting there, she’s reading.” He narrates as he zooms in. “Very beautiful, the sunlight is hitting her just right. Gosh, she makes me nervous and she doesn’t even know. Love her very much.”

He zooms out and zooms into his children, who decide to take interest in the rocks and starts flinging them towards the cliff with the intention to try to fling it to the ocean, which is quite far from where they are.

“Hey kiddos,” he says as he walks up to them and pats them with his free hand. “What’re you doin’?”

“We’re trying to throw rocks into the ocean!” Ollie and Pheme cheerfully explain, showing their rocks to the lens before flinging it with all their tiny might.

“Ooh, that’s quite far honey,” Leon comments. “Want me to try?”

The twins cheer and he takes that as an opportunity to throw one, the recording being temporarily shaky.

“Woah! You threw it far, papa!” The twins say and clap, determined to throw it as far as he did. He helps the twins throw it, focused on teaching them how to aim and the force they need to exert to fling it a little farther.

After several minutes of flinging rocks and random conversations with your husband and your kids, you call them over to look at the pictures Leon has taken. Everyone gathers around you as you look at each one, oohing and aahing at Leon’s photography skills. Leon focuses the cam on the pictures popping up in the digital camera, chipping in with his thoughts.

“Mommy looks amazing there,” he breathily says. “Divine. What’d you think, Pheme?”

“So pretty!” She beams before giving you a big kiss on the cheek. Ollie giggles and snuggles closer to you, occasionally pointing to the pictures.

Like you guessed, most of the pictures are of you, the kids, or both. Observant like their dad, they picked up on this as well.

“Pa, you’re not in a lot of the photos! It’s always us or mama!”

Leon chuckled, ruffling his kids’ heads. He extends a pointer finger to a shadow in the image before you switch to another one, pointing to the tall shadow once again.

“That’s me,” Leon explains. “I’m the shadow.”

His twins seem confused, falling into silence along with you, who is also intrigued by Leon’s words.

“When you look at these pictures when you’re bigger, I want you all to know that I’m always here. These are proofs that I’m with you because I’m the shadow and I’ll always look out for all three of you,” he explains

The twins say ‘aww’ at the same time and tackle his legs, hugging him tight. While you set the camera down and look at Leon with a small pout and slightly glossy eyes. Leon chuckles softly and places a free hand on your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek before you join your twins in giving him a big bear hug as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“I love you, Leon.” You softly tell him, warm breath fanning against his neck.

“Me too, sweetheart. I love you more.” He tenderly responds as he hugs you and the kids back.

He’s thankful that this tender moment is caught on camera so he can rewatch it several more times before he goes to bed.

NOTE - I hope you liked this fic anon!!! At first, I wasn't super confident about writing this or how it'll turn out but I think it turned out nicely ngl :) YALL. I finally got my driver's license. I can drive. Do I know how to? I know the theoretical aspects of it but driving itself? Running a motor vehicle? I have yet to learn (it's on June 20-21 and my dad will teach me until I get better)... I also scarfed down a big spicy bowl of ramen coz I didn't have breakfast this morning <3 Also, It's not rlly embarrassing for me to be writing fics while my parents r sitting at the back (I'm at my living room) but making the border??? Looking for pics of Leon??? It's embarassing for me 😭😭 My dad said that my Chris capcorom looks like a Bánh bò and ngl I kinda see it 😭😭 There's a Japanese mall where I live and I'll be going there tomorrow so hopefully yk there's a copy of any RE book or manga (PLEASEPLEASEPLE) Anyways, that's it and thank you for readings my fics!!!!!! I <33333 UUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The wavy divider was made by @kaitsawamura , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).

[sodapopwrites]

the first sign of fall chapter four: you said no attachment

college au, the inner circle boys and the reader are bartenders.

pairings - eris vanserra x reader, a teensy bit of azriel x reader

summary - talking things out seems impossible, so you give up and do exactly what you shouldn't. you, azriel, and eris seem to never be able to find a way to communicate or to tell each other how you feel.

word count - 3.2k

a/n - man. i'm sorry. i love making things go horribly wrong. i swear things will work out at some point, but right now everybody has to be sad and afraid otherwise it's too easy. ALSO thank you to everyone who is showing so much support for this series. like i wish i could buy you all cookies or something.

read the rest of the series here!

You push your way into the locker room slowly. It’s filled with steam, curling its way from the showers, around the lockets, pooling at your feet. Almost like it was reaching you, pulling you towards him. You hear the steady stream of water against tile, broken only by the body under it. He wasn’t facing you. His back taught and head down, letting the scolding water stain his hair darker. 

“Eris?” 

Your voice was wavering and unsure. Your feet moving from side to side, fingers fiddling with the sleeve of your jacket. He straightened, his head raising, his entire body stiffening. Hackles up. The water turned off. He reached for the towel hanging on the wall next to him and wrapped it around his waist before turning around, towards you, but not looking at you. He traipsed across the room to his bag and started rifling through it for his clothes. His only acknowledgement of you, a small sniff as you sighed. 

“Please talk to me” 

It was the closest thing to begging he’d ever heard from you. Those four words drenched in desperation that was so out of character that his eyes snapped to yours. He shook his head, 

“I don’t have anything to say.” 

You take a deep shuddering breath. Trying to think what he wants from you. Scraping every corner of your mind for the right thing to say. You come up empty. You study his face, the cut on his lip, his forehead. The bleeding had stopped for the most part, but a garish bruise was starting to form on his cheekbone. You take a tentative step towards him. He doesn’t move an inch, almost as if he’s frozen. A deer in headlights. His eyes don’t leave yours as you draw closer and raise a hand to brush your fingers over the welt now blossoming under his skin. His eyes flutter closed and it takes all of his effort to lean away from your touch instead of into it. 

“Don’t” A small warning. Enough to force you a couple steps back. “I don't think I can do this. I meant it.” 

You shake your head vehemently, “Please don’t say that. Please. You want to talk? Let’s talk. You can’t just decide you’re done. There’s two of us in this Eris.” 

“You want to talk? Talk then.” 

He stares at you. His face completely unreadable. Cold in a way that it never had been before. His eyes always sold him away, always carried all of his feelings, like a window straight to his heart. But now, looking at them, you couldn’t see a thing. The only other person who ever managed that kind of mask….was Azriel. 

“I didn’t mean to blame you.” It was a lame response. You knew that. But you continued anyway. “You were hurt, and you'd gotten into a fight with Az, and I was worried, and lashed out.” 

He didn’t say anything. Small droplets of water rolled down his chest. His hair was tousled and damp. The heat of his body contrasting so harshly with the cool air, that small wisps of steam curled from him. It would have been a beautiful sight, if the look on his face didn’t scare you quite as much as it did. 

“Who were you really worried about?” His voice was low and calm. Horrifyingly calm. 

“Both of you.” 

It was an honest answer. Just not the one he wanted to hear. 

“I’m tired. I’m tired of being a second choice. I’m not something you can keep in your backpocket. I l-” 

He shook his head. As if the last couple words got stuck in his throat. He couldn’t say them. Not like this. Not when he was looking at you, draped in a jersey that wasn’t his, your eyes so desperate and pleading. I love you too much. That’s what he wanted to say. What he couldn’t say. Not when all he could think about was Azriel, and all those unspoken feelings. 

“You’re not.” 

That’s all you could say. Choking down the tears that you wanted to cry. You couldn’t cry. Not like this. You wouldn’t let him see that. It was too pathetic. Too desperate. 

He stared at you. Blankly. Mind reeling. You were on the brink of tears. He could see it plain as day. Just cry. Show some emotion. Any emotion. He wanted to yell it at you. Beg you. At least the tears would prove that this was more than nothing. But you didn’t. You just stood. Like looking at him was the most painful thing you could possibly be doing. 

He thought of Azriel. He had heard the two of you yelling before he had retreated to the showers, hoping that the water would drown out the sound of it. He didn’t want to hear what was being said. Didn’t need to hear more of Azriel’s opinions on him. 

He thought of the way that Azriel had years of history with you. The way he’d seen you cry, something you’d refuse to do in front of him. The way Eris had watched your eyes drift off into some far away thought and had your eyes snap back into focus, on him. Azriel had your embrace in moments of panic, a comfort and a quiet that you floated towards. A solace and hiding place you looked for. You never seemed to grow tired of him the way you grew tired of others. Azriel would have you for lifetimes and Eris didn’t want to be a footnote in that story.

“I just need time to think.” That was all he could think to say before finally pulling a shirt over his head. And turning away from you. 

“I’m scared of what that means.” 

He shook his head. He couldn’t look back at you. One right word from you and he’d cave. He’d give you anything you wanted no matter what it did to him. Your voice hit him again, like a bullet, 

“I’m scared it’s going to take you years to think, and figure it out, and I’m scared of what it’ll do to me.” 

He pulled his pants on and sat down to lace his shoes. Still refusing to look at you as he said the first thing that came to mind, 

“Well you always have Az to wash away whatever guilt you're feeling. I said it before. I’m done, so why don’t you go cry to him?” 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw your jaw set. The small nod of your head. It was the wrong thing to say. But he was begging you to prove him right. Begging you to do something to prove to him that he wasn’t what you wanted. 

You felt weak. Like your knees were about to buckle. Like every horrible thing you ever thought about yourself was right. It didn’t matter how much you cared about him, you never were able to find a way to make that clear. Could never just say it. Could never really figure it out. But he was right and that was the worst part. You fled from the locker room as quickly as you could while still holding onto a shred of dignity. The tears you had choked down rising like a violent tide. Tearing through your every nerve. Your whole body felt like it was burning, like the loss of him might actually consume you. Alone again. You couldn’t stand it. 

★ ★ ★ 

You shouldn’t have done it. But you weren’t thinking, completely on autopilot as you drove, as you walked up the steps, as your arm raised and knocked on the door. Your eyes still glistening, your cheeks red, and your body shaking lightly as the door opened slowly. 

Azriel. 

His eyes flashed with confusion, his hand going to run through his hair before leaning against the door frame as he took you in. Your jacket is gone. His jersey hanging off you. You looked wrecked. Terrified. So clearly the conversation with Eris didn’t work out and here you were. Like you always were when you lost something. 

“Is Cass home?” 

Your voice was shredded. Hoarse and devastated. The mask of cool collection you usually aimed for completely lost now. He shook his head slowly as he pulled the door slightly more ajar. 

“You want to talk?” 

You sniffled and curled your arms around yourself, “No. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to think.” 

“So…What do you want?” 

He knew exactly what you wanted. He just needed to hear it straight from your bitten red and raw lips. 

“I don’t want to be alone.” 

A whisper. A small admission. Almost a question. 

He held out an arm and you pulled yourself into his embrace too easily. Your arms immediately circling around his neck. He leaned down to pull your legs around his waist and carried you across the threshold. Closing the door behind him. His fingers bruising against your thighs. Like he wanted his fingerprints embedded in your skin forever. His lips never leaving yours as he walked towards his room. As he lowered you to his bed. Only pulling away to peel your clothes off slowly. To press open mouthed kisses against your neck as he let his hands roam. His pace slow and deliberate, as if every small claim of his lips was a victory. 

It was. A small victory. He’d have you for lifetimes, maybe only like this, when he was needed to fill some emptiness inside you. But still. Others would have you for minutes at a time that in their lifespan would boil down to nothing. But he’d have you forever. A small form of revenge. 

He traced every path he thought Eris might have once marked as his own. Neither of you saying a word. Both of you ignoring the tears streaming down your face. Azriel only pausing once to wipe them away with a brief brush of his thumbs and soft shushing from his lips, before he sank his teeth into the crook of your neck. The force behind it bruising and almost angry. Like he wanted it to hurt. Like he wanted you to remember that feeling in the morning. Like he wanted you to remember that other men would have your adhd driven drifts of attention, your accolades and commendation. Your fantasies and broken form of love tainted remedies to draw out seconds on a timesheet. Your short term hyperfocus. Your false forms of naive intimacies. Your fleeting fingers through their hair when they bend their heads to you. Your anger when they don’t live up to the image you’ve built in your head. 

You closed your eyes. Letting him take the lead. You didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to do anything, but feel him. Because that was the easiest thing you could possibly do. The easiest way to not be alone. 

Azriel reveled in it. Your attention when convenient. Your gaze when you thought he was too lost in his movements against you. The way he could still feel your anger from earlier bubbling under the surface, and the way that it didn’t matter now. The way that you had still come to him. The way that he was always right. The way that the little jersey stunt had worked exactly in his favor. The way he always managed to do exactly what you wanted. The way your nails raked across his shoulder blades and you let out a choked sob. 

He’d let you right to it. Something to be angry about again. The one thing you wanted. The one thing you never wanted Eris to see. The one real thing you were. Angry and afraid. Afraid of everything you had ever felt. 

A small form of revenge. 

He held you close to his chest after. He knew you’d leave. Just like you had done before. Just like you did every time something too intimate, no matter what the scale, happened between the two of you. You didn’t move. You didn’t speak. You’d stopped crying, but by the way you were breathing he knew you still wanted to. So he held you tighter. 

★ ★ ★

You left while he was still asleep. Seven in the morning. Guilt rippling through your entire body. Eris expected the worst from you, so you did the worst thing you could think of, and it felt good. That was the worst part. You closed Azriel’s door as quietly as you could and turned around, immediately met with Cassian’s hulking form leaning against the wall of the hallways. His arms crossed and his eyebrow raised. Your eyes widened. Since when has he ever woken up this early? 

“Again?” 

You didn’t respond. Heading for the door shaking your head. He stepped in front of you, blocking your exit. 

“Why?” 

His voice was a whisper, but the question hit like he was shouting. 

“I didn’t know what else to do.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him as you said it. 

“You look like you just had a death in the family or something. That’s not how you should look after hooking up with someone. This is…this fucking sadness that you get from Eris….Even Az can’t fix that.” 

You look at him now. He was wrong. Of course he wanted to blame Eris. Why wouldn’t he? 

“It’s not Eris that made me….” 

You trailed off and Cassian inhaled deeply. Finally getting it. Whatever you and Azriel had going on…hurt you just as much as it hurt him. A mutual form of self destruction. 

“So why did you do it?” 

Azriel’s door opened now. You didn’t hear it. Didn’t notice that Azriel had finally woken up and was watching intently as you responded, 

“Because Azriel….” You push Cassian out of the way and reach for the door, “Eris makes me weak.” 

You close the door behind you and Cassian flinches at the sound of it clicking shut. His eyes looking towards his friend now. Azriel looked like he’d seen a ghost. Eris makes me weak. The only way you could think to say that you were in love with him. The only way you could find to express that the feeling scared you so deeply that you went back to something you, and everyone else, had so adamantly ignored for years. It was almost like falling in love with Azriel and wasting it had turned you into something cold. Something accidentally cruel. 

Cassian sighed and shook his head. The disappointment coming off him in waves. Azriel unsure which one of them that disappointment was really directed at. Cassian watched him, he looked small, and unlike himself. He thought of the years Az had spent chasing whatever had happened between the two of you that one night. Like he was so desperate to prove that he was capable of love. Like having you in any small form would make him better at it, like doing whatever he could to keep you away from other people, and bring you back to him. Would prove that he could love someone. Like letting you in last night and fucking you while you cried was a testament to how much he was willing to ignore. Maybe that was what he thought love was. Ignoring all the bad and taking you anyways, under any condition, nevermind who your heart really called for. 

“You’re just a glutton for punishment aren’t you Az?” 

That was all Cassian said as he turned back to his room and shut the door sharply behind him. Leaving Azriel to stand alone in the morning shadow soaked hall. 

★ ★ ★

Eris’ apartment felt empty. Without your laughter. Without you sitting at his kitchen counter biting your nails and complaining about whatever class was pissing you off at the moment. 

He sat alone in his living room. Your sweater still draped over the back of the chair he crashed into. His eyes falling on the plants you had lined up against his windowsill while muttering something about lifeless male living spaces. The notes you had written him stuck to his fridge. The books you had left scattered across his coffee table. The pair of shoes you placed next to his by the door, shrugging, and saying it’s good to have a spare. Almost every inch of his apartment screamed your name, and begged for your return. 

He remembered the ice in your stare as he told you to run back to Azriel. The kind of cold he could never warm. The set determination of your walk as you strode away from him. He knew exactly where you were right now. He knew that you had done exactly what you told him to, and he couldn’t even find it in himself to blame you. He should have just talked to you. Should have made it clear to you that he wanted everything. That he was all in. That he didn’t care about the fact that you were scared, he could see it clear as day. He’d seen it since you started seeing each other. The way that you were so terrified that the second you admitted how much he meant to you, he’d leave. 

It wasn’t like you made your affections a secret. You had decorated his apartment. You had spent all of your free time with him. You had held him so tight at night that sometimes he wondered if you thought that if you let go he’d slip away, or fade away. You had given him annotated book’s, highlighting lines you thought he might like. Had sent him playlists and pictures of things throughout the day that reminded you of him. Had wrapped your arms around him lazily and pulled him away from his computer whispering you have to stop being such a workaholic. The closest you let yourself get to exhibiting how much you worried about him. You had made it as clear as you could. 

But he could’t wipe the image of Azriel’s smirk as you had yelled at him what the fuck is wrong with you? Like your outburst was some sort of victory. Like shadowsinger had won. Like getting Eris to fight him was exactly what he had hoped for.

He remembered the way that Azriel went slack under him as they fought, the way he had let Eris throw punch after punch and seemed almost elated as blood spilled from his mouth. Like the blood would stain your hands and force you into remembering what and who really mattered. And maybe it had. 

Eris sighed and stood from his chair. Sleep. He needed sleep. But when he laid eyes on his bed, the sheets rumpled and blankets a mess. He thought of you that morning. Refusing to wake up, quietly calling for him to come back to bed, telling him to stop answering emails and come kiss you awake. The way he’d obliged and reveled in your warmth, and your smell, and the soft graze your fingers across his skin. He should have stopped you from leaving. 

I’m scared it’s going to take you years to think, and figure it out, and I’m scared of what it’ll do to me.

He should have told you. I love you too much. But he didn’t and now he’d have to suffer the consequences. Maybe that was what he deserved. Maybe he thought, this is what happens when he let himself fall in love with someone. When he let his walls down. When he let someone into his space. 

taglist:

@tiredsleepyhead @rosewood-cafe @kristijenner19 @becstersworld @girlwhoreadseverywhere @iambored24601

@the-sylver-dragon @scarsandallaz @fairydustblossom 

@theflowerswillbloom 

@theflowerswillbloom @melsunshine @mad-katsuki @lilylilyyyyyy @blueeeeeshark

@redr0sewrites

[hyuneskkami]

❪ ⭑ ❫ starlight: chapter 2───lee know.

02. black cat… cats! plural.

ꕀ cw. mentions of dizziness due to exhaustion , lots of nicknames , being called ‘baby’ , hinting at hyunlix ; wc. 1.07k

the next morning, I woke up to a bunch of texts from my manager, explaining when the collab stage would be, and its theme.

we were collaborating for day 2 of our concerts in tokyo, since we had the same dates for our tour in japan, and were set to play in the same location for day 2.

the collab stage in japan was set for next month, which meant we had just that long to plan, learn, and rehearse. it also meant that I could spend a whole month with my best friends, ‘professionally’.

(though hyunjin was slightly sad that we’d have to postpone our hangout in paris as well as our concerts in paris (to focus on the collab), he was very happy that it meant I could spend a whole month with them.)

starting tomorrow, I was told that i’d be given a room at the skz dorms to live with them, and I was so excited about it, I finished packing all my stuff in an hour.

after that, the ride to the jype building was quite short. I rolled out my twin suitcases, paid the taxi driver, and entered the building to meet the boys.

I immediately dropped the handle of my suitcases and ran to chan when I saw him. he embraced me in a tight hug, which could only be described as a bear hug.

“channie hyung! I can’t— breathe—”

“y/n-ah! you’re finally here!” he said, loosening his grip around me.

“when do we start practice?” I asked, eyes wide with excitement.

“oh baby, you’re so hyper, hm? let’s meet up with rest of the boys first,” he hummed. he took my suitcases with him, and we talked till we reached the room where they had been practicing.

as soon as I opened the door, jeongin came running and bumped into me.

“noona! you’re finally here!” he screamed into my ear, hugging me as we both fell onto the floor.

“iyyenah! I missed you, my little baby,” I cooed.

han pulled us up, and detached jeongin from my arms so he could hug me too.

“n/n-ah, it’s been too long! do you just come for hyunjin and ayen? not for us?” han asked, making doe eyes at me. more like, boba eyes.

I pinched his cheek in response, smiling. “don’t worry hanji, i’ll be with you guys for the entire next month, so you can’t get rid of me easily then.”

chan clapped his hands to draw attention. “y/n’s going to be staying at the dorms with us, starting today. so i’m expecting that you guys will at least try to behave a little decently.”

they were anything but decent.

over the next few days, while I got settled in the dorms, I saw many unspeakable things: ramen on the couch, shirtless men walking around, seungmin being a menace, butt-hunter lee know, and chan being bullied by all the others. I wish I could sell this content to STAYs and become rich, ugh.

I had gotten closer with changbin due to our shared love for working out, and with seungmin because we both simply loved annoying everyone together (han complained about having two seungmins ‘as if one wasn’t enough’).

the only one that didn’t fit into my grand scheme of things was lee know. from the first second we laid our eyes on each other, we started bickering.

“yah! y/n! can you take your weird slippers away from here? it’s blocking my way,” he said, rolling his eyes. speak of the devil.

“move them yourself,” I grumbled back from my spot on the couch, where I was sitting to watch some anime with felix.

for many years (since our debuts), fans of both stray kids and my music, constantly theorised about how similar lee know and I were. I did do my research on it (obviously) too. my tasteful analysis and conclusions revealed that he was… amazing. I liked his style, his dance, his personality, everything.

the problem was, those side-by-side dance comparison videos made by fans actually made sense. we did have the same dance style. and the exact same personality, apparently.

and that is exactly why we started bickering. our dynamic just made sense if we were like that. not like I have a problem, because it’s actually fun and entertaining most of the time (there were complains of having two lee know’s too, now).

“she’s such a black cat!” jeongin said.

“black cat… cats! plural. both lee know and her,” chan added.

soon enough, we had only two weeks before the collab stage. we had surprisingly finished all practices already, and just had to rehearse now.

vocal practices were always fun in rooms with air conditioning, and while I loved the dance practices with a bickering lee know and god-knows-what-they-are hyunjin and felix, I would definitely have preferred not to be drenched in sweat by the end of practice everyday.

it was our last day practicing at the jype building, since chan told us we’d be flying to japan tonight. apparently, our managers wanted us to ‘officially’ announce the collab via a vlog in tokyo.

hyunjin and felix had decided to head back to the dorms early to start packing. lee know and I stayed for a final practice, since we had both already finished and had our suitcases ready.

halfway through the dance, black spots began to cloud my vision. I felt my body sway a little slower, and it felt like marbles were rolling inside my brain. either I was hallucinating, or lee know was looking smaller and looked like he was much farther away.

is this because of the three-hours-per-day sleep schedule? or something else?

I tried to push through to finish the practice, but I felt myself falling. strong arms wrapped around my waist before I fell to the floor, saving me from a concussion.

ah, my hero, of course. lee know.

“y/n? Y/N? where’s your water bottle— nevermind, just take mine,” lee know spoke fast, half-dragging half-walking me to the chair near his bag. he helped me sit down, and shifted around to get his bottle.

I felt his hand open my mouth and water was poured into my mouth, some of it dripping down, as my head was against the wall.

he closed the bottle, and moved me so I could rest my head on his lap, and dabbed at the drops of water running down my mouth with the sleeve of his jacket.

“why can’t you just rest enough, n/n,” he whispered. “you always get me so worried.” he stroked his fingers gently through my hair, and the dizziness slowly turned into sleep.

prev < m.list > next

[gyllenhaalstuff]

haii :33

idk if u do mlm or not, but I think mlm Donnie D. or Pilot K. fics would be awesome :33 (sorry this is so awkward I've never asked sum1 sumthing b4

I got you. Never written mlm before tho, so I’m in unknown territory.

Helping out

- Donnie Darko x M Reader ᡣ𐭩

Summary: Your best friend Donnie wonders if he likes buys and you agree to let him explore it with you

Warnings: Internalised homophobia, oral, handjobs, masturbation, bottom!reader, top!Donnie, unprotected sex, anal sex.

Word count: 1670~

Notes: I can’t write 20+ minutes of prep so no, this isn’t realistic.

────୨ৎ────

Another Friday night spent at your best friend’s house. Perhaps a bit sad that this is what 18 was for you. All your classmates were probably out drinking, fucking, and God knows what else.

At least you had Donnie, so you didn’t have to be lonely by yourself. Instead of sulking, you two would play video games, stuff your faces with sugar and Red 40, and sneak out of Donnie’s window to smoke on the roof.

Playing Street Fighter with Donnie was basically a death wish. That boy was not only the most obnoxious winner but also the worst loser. You didn’t mind taking a few nudges and/or hits from him.

“Ouch! What was that for?” you hissed at Donnie’s hit on your arm. “For beating me,” he stated, but didn’t press rematch. “I can’t play anymore; my eyes are gonna pop out of my head.” You chuckled and almost choked on your Twizzler. “What else should we do?”

You expected Donnie to suggest getting high or playing another game, but he had other plans. “Have you ever had sex?” Well, this was unexpected, but he seemed serious. “Uh, yeah, once,” you hesitantly responded, “with Jasmine.” Jasmine, or Jas as her nickname had been, was your ex-girlfriend. It didn’t last long, but you got some experience points from it. “No, I know about Jas,” Donnie swallowed. “I mean with a guy.” You were a bit startled by his question, but most of all confused. “I’m not gay?” Was all you could muster. Sure, sometimes you saw a man and thought, ‘he could have me any day’ but everyone had thoughts like that. You had never acted on them anyway.

“Cause I’ve been thinking,” Donnie continued, “maybe I don’t like girls.” You were surprised by his confession, not cause you thought he was straight; you just never thought he’d say it out loud. “Well, that’s cool with me, you know,” you stammered unsurely, but Donnie looked lost in his thoughts. “I just wish I could see what it’s like.” You didn’t fully know how to respond. The silence lingered for a bit. 

Your mind was spinning with questions. Was he asking you to sleep with him? Was he just thinking out loud? Would you sleep with Donnie as a kind, friendly gesture? Where would you even draw the line?

“If this is what you’re asking for, you can try some things with me, but I’m not having sex with you,” you huffed. It felt like you had to push each word out of your mouth. But your heart lightened when Donnie’s eyes lit up. “You would?” He began fidgeting, playing with the seam of his jeans. “Dude, you’re my best friend. My only friend, in fact. I wanna help out,” you stated. It was important for you to underline that this was an act of friendship, not attraction.

Donnie shifted uncomfortably on the rug beneath him. “Okay, uh,” he stumbled over his words, “what can I do?” You thought for a moment, didn’t figure anything out, and just decided to draw a random line anyway. “As long as our clothes stay on.” Donnie looked pleased with it.

His lips pressed against yours, and you prayed to God the feeling that washed over you was a stroke and not a sexual awakening. Donnie parted his lips, and for some reason, you did the same. This was a time for helping out, not self-interrogation. He deepened the kiss and snaked one of his hands to your hair, tangling his fingers in your locks. A light pull of your hair sent shivers down your spine, and you hated that it did. You hated it even more when a weak, whimpering noise slipped from your lips. Though Donnie didn’t seem to mind; instead, it seemed to spur him on. 

He scooted to sit in front of you, not breaking the kiss. You felt a hand on your shoulder, pushing you down onto the rug. You didn’t resist. Later you would wonder why you didn’t, but your mind had checked out for the time being. All that existed was Donnie’s tongue in your mouth, his legs straddling your hips and his hands fumbling and touching your clothed torso.

You tried to ignore your blood rushing to your crotch, how you were actually getting into this. But Donnie didn’t. He pulled away from the kiss and smiled, “You’re hard.” He seemed thrilled and proud. You were the opposite, but he was right; you were getting really turned on. “I don’t know what’s happening to me,” you mumbled, as an attempt to save yourself from the situation. “I do,” Donnie smiled before ending the conversation by bringing his lips to yours.

It didn’t help how Donnie was beginning to grind against your straining cock. You were getting unsure of how you were going to end this. You didn’t want to have sex with a guy, but right now sex with Donnie didn’t seem like such a bad option. You let go of some of your apprehensions and slipped a hand under Donnie’s shirt. His breath hitched, probably from surprise. His skin felt warm and soft. Grappling his waist made you want to take his shirt off. You decided not to fight it.

You began pulling it off of him. “Isn’t this against your rule?” he grinned, as if his plan all along was to prove something to you instead of himself. “Forget about the rule,” you shook your head and finally smiled. Once his shirt was off, he seemed keen on doing the same to you. And you weren’t a hypocrite, so you let him.

You were both turning into a mess, grinding against each other, before Donnie sat up. “Can’t we just fuck?” He looked so good like that, hair all tousled and lips red and swollen. You had no choice.

The bed was a much nicer surface to be on, though Donnie decided to stay on the floor, sitting on his knees. His hands began unbuckling your belt. Your head repeated how this was wrong and how you shouldn’t be doing this over and over, but it only seemed to turn you on more. 

His pale hands wrapped around your cock and pulled it out of your underwear. Your face flushed in embarrassment, but Donnie didn’t waste any time before putting his mouth on you. His tongue swirled around your tip, and you hated how this felt better than any blowjob Jas had ever given you. Your knuckles were turning white as you held onto Donnie’s sheets, your hair falling in your face as you looked down on your friend. 

He released you, saliva ran down his chin, and he took out his own cock. You hated how hot it looked, Donnie jerking himself off in front of you. He then climbed onto the bed with you and ordered you to lie down. You didn’t know what to expect. But suddenly it dawned on you what gay sex meant: getting fucked in the ass.

“Won’t this hurt?” You asked, growing nervous. Donnie spit on your cock before stroking it along with his own, earning a muffled moan from you. “We’ll find out,” he smiled, “I’ll try my best to be patient.”

Donnie released you from his grasp and stuck two fingers in his mouth, coating them in saliva. He then lowered them to your ass, swirling them around your hole. You didn’t know how many nerve endings existed there before he touched you. 

“Tell me if it hurts,” he said earnestly before inserting one of his fingers into you. It felt weird, but not baffling necessarily. He went a bit further in before curling his finger, hitting a spot that made your cock twitch. He grinned at the sight.

He slipped in another finger and set a pace of thrusting them into you and curling them up towards your pelvis. This new feeling had moans spilling out of you, which had never happened before in this quantity. It felt like you were constantly on the brink of an orgasm; maybe you just needed more to get there.

“I’m ready,” you stated eagerly. Donnie raised an eyebrow at you in return, “You sure?” You nodded insistently, just wanting to cum. 

Donnie didn’t argue with you on that. Instead, he lined up against you before slowly pushing himself into you. His mouth hung open as you swallowed his cock. It would be a lie to say it wasn’t painful. In fact, it hurt a lot. You gritted your teeth and clenched your fist to get through it, and you did. Once he began moving and hitting your spot, the pain slowly started disappearing, pleasure taking its place.

Donnie mumbled all the names for God he knew and all the swear words he could think of. There was no doubt in his mind now about which way he swayed. There was also no doubt about who he liked. His heart had grown its own boner (I’m sorry I had to).

His hand went to stroke you again, making a drop of pre-cum drip down on your stomach. Who cares if this locked you out of heaven? You were already there. 

Your thighs clenched, and your moans grew whiny as you neared your climax. Donnie spat on your cock, making his hand move quicker. You let out an embarrassingly high-pitched moan as you came. Donnie stilled his hand and watched your cum paint your skin. 

He finished not long after, cumming inside of you with a whimper. He stayed in you for a bit as you both tried to get your heart rates down and breath back. You hissed as he pulled out. Donnie laid next to you; you both stared at the ceiling, wondering what just happened, post-nut clarity setting in. 

“Did this clear things up for you?” you asked, hoping this wasn’t all for nothing. “Yeah,” he mumbled back, “I liked it.” You tried your best not to smile.

“I didn’t hate it either.”

[awyeahitssam]

Harry giggles. His limbs feel lighter than usual, almost as if bubbles are making them float a bit. He can still control them, but it's a vague, interesting sort of control. Fun.

Harry lets sleep take him. The world whirls around him in sparks of disorienting colours, and Harry watches with a broad smile. It should make him dizzy, but he feels in the middle of something fantastic—a watercolour painting come to life. It's brilliant. Elating.

It stops as suddenly as it starts. Voldemort stares at him from across a desk. "Harry Potter," he sounds almost surprised.

Harry blinks at him. He still feels light, like he is floating, but also distantly sad. "Are you okay?" he asks thoughtlessly.

Confusion masks itself behind anger. Voldemort masks everything behind anger. "Pardon?"

"I’d never felt as good as I did a moment ago," Harry confesses, drawing closer to the Dark Lord. Red eyes track him suspiciously. Harry's chest aches. "But now, looking at you… it makes me so sad."

Thoughtlessly, Harry reaches out, and Voldemort lets him. It’s how Harry knows this can’t be real. That it’s just a silly, drunken dream. Their fingers intertwine, though Voldemort’s hand remains stiff and cold in his gentle grip.

"Aren’t you lonely?" Harry wonders. "Is that yours I feel pressing in, or my own? Even without you," Harry smiles, crooked and small, brushing an irreverent thumb over his scar, "I’m sure it’d be there. People always isolate the freak."

Voldemort’s hand twitches in Harry’s, and he hums, focus dropping from red eyes to trace the long fingers with his own.

"Everybody’s frightened of you. You isolate yourself from friendship, from love, from time itself... don’t you want, Voldemort? I can feel that you do—you’re never satisfied, are you? Will it ever be enough? The world at your feet, no attachments, nobody to challenge you—is that your dream, or your nightmare?"

"You’re speaking nonsense, boy," Voldemort says, but it comes out odd. Stilted. "You presume much."

"Is it presumption when I feel you?" Harry asks genuinely, brows drawing together, hand lifting to press over his heart. Voldemort is dragged with him, pulled a bit over the desk, and Harry blinks in surprise before realizing he still has a grip on the other’s hand. He lets go slowly, and Voldemort pulls back with a scowl.

"You are drunk," the wizard snaps with disgust. "You know nothing of what Lord Voldemort feels."

Harry finds the words… annoying.

"You feel so loudly, though," he returns sharply, moving forward, sliding onto Voldemort’s desk. Ink spills over—Voldemort hisses in annoyance and the stain is gone with a thought—dreams are a magic of their own—Voldemort’s forehead is cold and smooth. Harry bears the man's mark. He presses his scarred head to the smooth. Long, clawed fingers are wrapped around his wrist. His throat.

"Right here, always pressing in," Harry continues, heedless of his position, precarious as it is. "You feel so much it hurts, Voldemort. You hate so much. You’re never just happy. And I was, am, could be. So just take some, won’t you?"

Red eyes are narrow, intent, fascinated as they dart over Harry’s face, trying to gather his meaning. "How do you propose I do that?"

"How does one normally take pleasure?" Harry wonders. Voldemort grimaces, pulling away quickly, and it takes Harry’s bubbling mind a moment to put what he said to context.

"No," he chokes on a laugh, "I’m not asking you to—to snog. To fuck. Just open yourself up. You’re so good at taking, usually, but all you’re doing is giving. Don’t you want to feel like this? Light? Thrilled?"

"You don’t even know what you sound like, do you?" The question is rhetorical. Voldemort’s hand tightens over his throat, until Harry’s breathing grows thinner. "You wish for me to let your happiness pass my Occlumency, as though you have not just slipped through yourself. As if you have no method to make Lord Voldemort feel your pleasure; as if you want to give Lord Voldemort pleasure at all."

Harry touches the hand on his neck, slowly tightening with Voldemort’s rant, and a spark lights his fingers. Voldemort’s hand spasms before it drops. Harry takes a deep breath, glaring balefully. His light-hearted air has faded.

"Perhaps I would give you pleasure so your misery would be all the worse for it," he bites out. The world is fuzzy, but no longer from alcohol. From being choked. Even in his dreams, his life is threatened by this man.

"A pretty plot," says Voldemort. There is something very condescending in his voice; he is clearly looking down on Harry. Doubting him. It’s nothing new, but it makes the sting of anger grow in him. "Very well. If you can conjure happiness as you peer into the face of your death, Harry Potter, then do. Make me feel it, if you can."

Harry’s nails bite into his palm and release. He takes a breath and lets his eyes flutter closed. He focuses.

Happiness. What does it feel like? Like floating, as he was moments ago, or like getting an anticipated hug—not his first, not all the ones he flinched away from, but a hug from Hermione when they’ve almost just died. An arm around Ron’s waist as the boy drapes one around his shoulder. Laughing, hysterical and joyous, by the fireplace. Finding his wand. Finding out he was escaping the Dursleys. Happiness is a brief thing, drenched in the shadows of his life. Happiness is contentment, even if it is a momentary thing. It is the pleasure of a perfectly prepared cuppa; from—nonono, not going there.

Harry wraps the sensations up, one by one, like he’s re-wrapping hard candy, and throws them at Voldemort. Into Voldemort. All but one—his favourite one, his happiest one. That, he grasps, and it’s actual candy in his hand, a sweet that he looks down to, and then unwraps, and he’s moving forward, intent eyes raising, and Voldemort is already gasping, a bit, at the suddenness of it all—of pleasure.

Harry’s lips curl and he pushes the candy into the slightly agape mouth of the Dark Lord a bit cruelly, shoving it deep. He pulls back quickly, before sharp teeth can gnash on his fingers, and watches on as Voldemort experiences pleasure. As Voldemort softens, and sighs, relaxation in every hard line of him, mouth sucking almost greedily around the treasure that Harry has placed within it. Now he’s drunk on it, Harry thinks, horribly pleased to see Voldemort this way.

It’s not real, but still, he hovers on Voldemort’s desk and observes the pink brushing his cheekbones with fascination. He observes the way red eyes roll back a bit, and the way a long, pale throat swallows convulsively down on a slowly dissolving candy until there is nothing left.

Lashless eyes open, dark and suddenly staring. Red barely peeks out from behind the dilation of his pupil, and Harry’s smile is a smug thing.

“There’s your pleasure,” Harry whispers to him, like a secret. “I hope you enjoyed yourself. It can only get worse from here.”

“Worse?” murmurs Voldemort, staring at Harry intently. “You think there is worse you can do, Harry, then give me that and take it back?”

Belonging, thinks Harry, quite suddenly. He’d given Voldemort his favourite thing, the thing that he had been looking for, for a very long time. Longing, and peace, and laughter, and a burgeoning happiness that had very rarely managed to emanate past its conception. He had given Voldemort, too, his desperate hope for things to get better—and then he’d made them get better—and now Voldemort had lost it all.

Suddenly, impossibly, Harry’s eyes are liquid. I’m cruel, thinks Harry, gaze falling from red. There is nothing so cruel as what he has done, and he had done it so carelessly, so happily, so smugly, because he had felt slighted. Had felt wronged by this man who had ceaselessly wronged him.

Slowly, Harry looks back up at Voldemort, who is watching his tears with an expression of keen interest. 

“Has it made you sad to give your enemy your pleasure, Harry Potter?” Voldemort asks, gripping his wrist and drawing him near enough that Harry barely keeps his bottom on the desk rather than Voldemort’s lap.

“It makes me sad to treat you with such cruelty,” Harry corrects, “when I know you will never allow yourself to experience such pleasure again.”

“Would I not?” breathes Voldemort, eyes still dark instead of bright.

“You won’t,” whispers Harry. “It'd require you to trust someone. To have faith in them. And that, I know you’re incapable of, because you are a man but don’t see yourself as one, and gods do not have friends, nor equals.”

“Equals?” Voldemort’s breath brushes Harry’s brow, his stinging scar. “But what if Lord Voldemort were to draw you from the depths, Harry? Raise you from the pale mortality until you, too, are exalted? Then you may give Lord Voldemort what he so deserves; give me pleasure, Harry Potter,” Voldemort enunciates awfully. “Give me it all.”

I wrote this one of the first times I ever drank, and just expanded upon it a bit. I'm honestly really fond of finding these little things I've forgotten.

[ashipikaur]

ASHI’S 24 MANKAI CHALLENGE REVIEW! ☆

overview HERE ↑ ashi comments DOWN BELOW ↓

↑ my opinions and takes on how the a3! boys look in my style!!! 😭😭😭 and then VS how drawing them went……….. ↓

<\3 the correlations are strong on some BUT OTHERRSSSS… EEUUUUU. the banri azami was a struggle but at least it paid off 😭😭. otherwise thru out the entire process i did reviews on every chara!!! you can see my individual notes about them allllll below. and in order!!! this post will be very long HAHAHA. tho i did the tierlist after doing them so 🧍‍♂️ their rankings and numbers may not correlate……..

HARU 🌸

MASUMI 8/10

- eyes lowkey suffered me THEYRE HARD FOR ME TO STYLIZE. MAYBE IF I TOOK MORE TIME ON THEM cuz tbf these are more on the doodle side 🤔 could do them better but they’ve always lowkey been a struggle

- thought the colors would kill me BUT SURPRISINGLY NAWT. my only issue was that I was afraid his skin would be too light but ISSOK!!! was really funsies to work w

- hair is gen so peak i love his ahoge. it’s peak

- his highlight thingies have me questioning my rendering sometimes 😭😭 i can’t think too hard about them

ITARU 6.8/10

- ikemenisms are a hit or miss sometimes. HIS EYES ARE STUPID. HARD TO STYLIZE ALSO!!!!! stupey face ong

- hair is very funsies I LOOOOOOOVE DRAWING IT ITS SO FLUFFY AND RENDERING IS SUPER FUNSIES TOO

- his fit is butts tho. ITS SO DULL AND LIKE SAD TO RENDER ITS A FLOP <\3 he’d probs be better to draw in other fits but review is for this experience overall

CITRON 8/10

- WHIMSY. HOW MUCH WHIMSIER CAN YOU GET

- thing is that citron’s energy is just hard to capture…… he’s Saur ethereal…….. AND HIS EYES ARE HARD!!!!

- funsies to render tho a good chunk of detail and his hair is hard to render at times

CHIKAGE. 2/10

- IF I KILL MYSELF BLAME CHIKAGE UTSUKI.

- nothing about him is fun. HIS EYES ARE HELL. VIBES ARE HELL. HAIR IS LOWKEY HELL. CLOTHES ARE BORING!!!!! GLASSES SUCK TO DRAW 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- he turned out fine but made me go thru hell. the cheeb is best way to illustrate chikage

SAKUYA 6/10

- his hair is very funsies. that is it

- 😭😭😭😭 LIKE HE ISNT HARD TO DRAW? BUT HES LIKE NOT THAT INTERESTING. he’s fine

- 😔 unfortche i hate rendering and drawing hoodies and his fit is a little boring. eyes can be inturrestin cuz I’m not used to drawing them saur big 🤔 uuum. YA. I DUNNO. OK

- he gets bonus +1 point because his hair is just fun to draw I LOVE FLUFF

TSUZURU 5/10

- the most mid guy to ever mid

- LIKE SAKU. NOT HARD TO DRAW. JUST THERE. tbh their vibes are both kinda hard to like show

- ????? for some reason i feel like my tsuzurus give off like a maekawa yuuki (stage actor) feel to them

- his hair isn’t fun AND I HATE DRAWING HOODIES so ya 🫶 mid

NATSU ☀️

TENMA 6.2/10

- i really wish he wasn’t this low but GOD

- i really dislike rendering jean jackets. i dunno if yall have tried but i do NAWT recommend and as much as i wuv tenma’s jacket as a concept I DONT LIKE DRAWING THE SHAPE EITHER. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HELL!!!!!!

- his eyes kill me everytime i draw him and his face in gen he never turns out right SORRY TENTEN

- my second fave 🧍‍♂️ i swear. plea

YUKI 4.8/10

- he causes me visceral pain

- I LIKE GENUINELY DONT REALLY KNOW WHERE I THOUGHT HE WAS MY FAVE TO DRAW ??????? BECAUSE HE IS REALLY HARD TO DRAW. IM SOAAAUUUUR BAD AT DRAWING BIG EYES and especially like the judgy eyes IM SAUUURRR BADDDD. his hair is fun if you don’t think about it too much. it killed me here

- i finally found out how to draw his collar w/o making him look stupid 😭😭😭😭 AFTER FIVE YEARS. bow is fun to draw slightly annoying to render

- he turns out cute at least. Eu

MUKU 9/10

- PEAAKKK MAYBE WHAT I USED TO SAY ABOUT YUKKI IS ACTUALLY JUST TRUE FOR MUKKUN NEOW

- his eyes are so cute. his face is so cute. his hair is SOOOOOOOO FUNSIES HIS FIT IS SO PEAK!!!! I LOVE HIS SLEEVES

- all of his colors are so nice to render i have sm fun like it’s saur funsies. quick and easy. peak

- not a 10/10 cuz his hair and skin can merge at times <3

MISUMI 8.3/10

- yessu the three is especially for him

- IVE DEFO GOTTEN A LOOOOOT BETTER AT DRAWING SUMI WITHIN THE PAST YEAR i’m actuallys satisfied w how he turns out 🫶 . the thing be that

- his hoodie kills me. REITERATING I HATE RENDERING HOODIES

- HIS HOODIE IS ALSO!!!!!! HARD TO RENDER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ISSODARK. SO DARK. alsos half the time i barely know how to render the yellow accents but i think I’ve figured it out neow. maybes

- i can’t think too hard about his hair or else it makes me tweak. it’s annoying to render

- good things are his eyes cuz sankaku pupils are v fun and ALSO HIS SLEEVES ARE SOOOOOOOO IM ACTUALLYD OBSESSED E THEM I LOVE THE SHAPE SM. PEAK <3

KUMON 4/10

- he’s saur. average

- LIKE. I DUNNO I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE A LITTLE HARD TO DRAW OR SMTH BUT HES NAWT HES JUST KINDA MID TO DRAW? 😭😭😭😭 he’s kinda hard to stylize but it’s just cuz i don’t like small pupils

- whiter than i thought he was. too used to fanon kumon

- YA I DUNNO HIS FIT IS OK TOO. KINDA DETAILS BUT YOU CAN SCRIBBLE IT SO I DUNNO

- ended up docking a point because his colors wacked me up

KAZUNARI. 7.2/10

- it’s been 5 years and i still don’t know how to draw this stupid twink

- IVE COME TO REALIZE KAZUNARI IS VERY. STYLIZED. LIKE IMMENSELY IN MY STYLE AND I DUNNO IF THATS A GOOD THING OR NAWT? 😭 😭 like it’s fine but I DUNNO. oftentimes i feel like he’s missing that spark………..

- his spring outfit isn’t v funsies to draw for me personally cuz it is a LOT of white and doesn’t give a lot of diverse fun colors to work w. the blue is kinda dull and he just looks kinda empty w/o the hat but EEUUU. whatev

- stockholm syndrome

AKI 🍁

TAICHI 9/10

- immensely funsies to draw I LOOOVE DRAWING HIS EYES AND HIS HAIR AND HIS ENERGY

- the chain is so peak btws. Saur peak

- only downside is that his face is ugly sometimes and I have to fix it cuz I always draw him :D

- his sweater is kinda wack to render

SAKYO 8/10

- HIS HAIR HAS TO BE DRAWN IS A VERY SPEICIFC WAY. IT LOOKS SIMPLE BUT ITS KINDA NAWT?

- glasses are a downside obvi

- SAUERRR CUUUUUUUTEEEEEEE i really wuv rendering him it’s REALLY funsies 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 peak colors. i really like rendering like this yellow???? shade

- lotta black/dark coloes but tbh it was fast and simple to render. it’s like a 50/50

BANRI 3/10

- i’m gyonna kill banri settsu

- HIS FACE IS FUN TO DRAW. HES FUN TO SKETCH. THATS IT. BECAUSE WE DONT FLIPPIN TALK ABOUT THE RENDERING

- rendering banrj is gen saur butts. you suffer and cave and go like ok whatever i’ll render his eyes then he looks BETTER but then his hair still looks like SHITE!!!

- FOREHEAD /NEG

- sm details on his jacket for what. AND FLANNEL. FOR WOT

- what i have realized from this expiernce is that i draw banri like a woman 🫶. take that as you will

- his eyes are his only saving point

AZAMI 2/10

- honestly braur probably the reason for the azashi drought

- 🧍‍♂️ . where do i start

- EYES ARE HELL. SO HARD TO STYLIZE AND MAKE SURE HE DOESNT LOOK LIKE A DEAD FISH.

- hair is whatever to sketch but GOD the rendering is so BADDDDDD 😭😭😭😭😭 GEN HELL. LIKE. braur

- he’s so white. i actually cpuldn’t like i needed to add like the tiniest bit of overlay color because i genuinely couldn’t

- his jacket is fun to draw but butts to render. IT GETS MUDDY REALLY FAST 😭.

- sorry azamin </3

JUZA 4.8/10

- pretty average guy

- if i draw banri like a woman i draw hyodo like a GREASER.

- his hair is really funsies but hard

- ALSOS he just comes out kinda Stiff so it knocks him down

- his everything takes me a while to sketch

- I DUNNO. both the hyodos are fine 🫶

OMI 5/10

- average guy

- HIS FAIR IS FUN. IF YOU DONT THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH

- outfit is fine

- i do think he looks super cute in my style tho <3 that’s about it

FUYU ❄️

TSUMUGI 5/10

- he really is just a fellow guy

- I DUNNO. HES NAWT LIKE HARD. HIS FAIR IS FUN? fun to render skin + hair wise too

- i just don’t think i captured his tsumuginess 🧍‍♂️ it could be the eyes. maybes. OR I DUNNO. it’s a mystery he doesn’t really look like Tsumu to me. he’s missing the freak my Tsumugi looks too nice IMO

HISOKA 5.2/10

- hair is a liiiittol hard to draw but it’s fun when you get it

- smol

- I HATE HOODIES. otherwise fine to render <3 hair is fun to render. again

- he gets +0.2 cuz i just think he’s cute in my style 🫶

HOMARE 4/10

- i don’t like drawing his face

- his hair would be really funsies if it wasn’t for the Long Strand

- his hair is very funsies to render and his eyes are SUCHHHH A PRETTY COLOR

- clothes suck to render

- 😭😭😭😭😭😭 homare is a lot of extreme highs and low but unfortche the lows overpower by a lil. SO. less than average

TASUKU 2/10

- hecks naw bro

- I DONT THINK HES NECESSARILY HARD TO DRAW. I THINK HES NATURALLY LIKE. THAT BUT I MADE HIM LIKE REALLY UGLY

- his hair is really fun and that’s the only plus i think everyone should draw his hair

- his fit is so boring. nawt fun at all

- INSANELY BORING TO RENDER

- hair was the only saving grace and I’d feel bad placing him at a 1 cuz that’s like REALLY bad and he wasn’t THAT bad

AZUMA 9/10

- amazing 10/10 stunning BEAUTE

- i didn’t expect him to be this high but <3<3<3<3<3<3

- i really like how he looks in my style too. everything is great and amazing

- only downside is that he face is kinda hard to capture but OTHERWISE everything is PEAK

- simple and easy to render. clothes aren’t a lot but they’re at least fun

GUY 6/10

- better than average 🫶

- his face is hard to capture but after that you’re all clear

- i like his hair!!!

- 🤔 details kinda

- i wouldn’t say fun but like. enjoyable

[glossykissies]

Butcher's hatred for vought only worsening after meeting hybrid!puppy reader bc of what they did to her makes me so sad :( he's just an old angry man who gives off ultimate protective daddy vibes

ok trigger warning for this arc bc it goes into her abuse but

yes bc i feel like it takes a while for her to understand that the abuse she faced wasn’t okay / normal and it’s not just butcher that feels that way it’s everyone. like whenever she messes up infront of the boys she just puts her head down and braces, and when hughies like “wait, what are you doing?” pup is all

“oh, well, back at the lab if i messed up they’d punch me in the stomach real hard so i don’t do it again?” :(((((

and m.m has to take her aside and explain that she’s not gonna be physically assaulted for messing up, especially not over something so tiny? “no one is laying a hand on you in here, you hear me? if they do? they’ll have to answer to me.” he adds the last part with a playful smile, trying to keep the tone light — but upon turning to you, his face falls, seeing the tears on your cheeks.

“really?”

“what— yeah. we may be a bunch of ruthless motherfuckers but beating on someone as defenceless as you — no offence, well that’s where i draw the line. look, you’re safe here kid.” he turns his full body to you, large frame crouched a little subconsciously to seem less intimidating. “don’t mean you won’t get yelled at by butcher from time to time, but i’m tryna get a handle on that.” he pats your back with a smile, shuffling to get up but you throw your arms around him.

“thank you, m.m.”

his brow creases, knowing that sort of thing shouldn’t warrant a thank you.

“we’re takin’ this one step at a time.” he hums.

kimiko also serves as great comfort, knowing what it’s like to face abuse and be confused when faced with kindness. sometimes she finds you sitting alone, not your usual energetic self and she comes and sits with you — typing things out on her phone to communicate with you.

are you having a bad day?

“yeah. i don’t miss the lab, but sometimes i wish i didn’t have the responsibility of being a full… person. at least when people treated me like a dog i didn’t have to think too hard.” you sigh and she nods, taking a moment to type.

i understand. i don’t miss my past, but some days i kind of wish i could go back just so i could hang out with my brother one more time.

“yeah. i get that.”

after a pause, she types some more.

did you have any brothers or sisters?

“no. it was just me. i always wished i had a sister to play with though.”

kimiko smiles, happily typing something into her phone before proudly turning it around.

well guess what? we’re sisters now. you can be my little sister. i always wanted one of those.

you beam, tail thudding the side of the chair you’re curled on as it starts to wag and your mood is infectious, the girl throwing her arm around you into a side hug.

butchers hate does infact worsen and it causes him to act up, get more violent than before — violently destroying anyone with a finger dipped into the vought pie. you always assumed it was because of his own past, but one day you witnessed him beating on someone who had something to do with the hybrid operation. cowering in the doorway, you try to keep your frightened whimpers at bay at hear him berating the bloody man through grit teeth.

“what you did to ‘er? what your fuckin’ people did to that girl? she’ll never be the bloody same and that’s all because of you. you’re gonna rot in hell, cunt.” before delivering the final blow to his skull.

you’re shaking, and only when he’s pulled himself off the corpse he sees you— having watched the entire thing. he softens slightly, eyes flickering with shame as he presses his lips together but you slowly approach, wide eyed.

“dont be scared pup, i ain’t… i just couldn’t let ‘im get away with it. can’t let scum like that keep walkin’ this earth.” he thinks you might bolt, like he’s seen you do on other occasions— but this time you approach, wrapping your arms around him, nuzzling into him, ears twitching, tail wrapping around his thigh.

[kodamaghost00]

Can you do 30 headcanons for Sundrop?

30 Sun/Sundrop Headcanons

———————————————————[Disclaimer!!]

This post will contain: NSFW,Sfw,Fluff,Smut

It’s also Genderless for the girls,gays and theys! You are a Technician in these scenarios!

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Let’s begin!

His favorite nickname for you is “Sunshine!” but he calls you every nickname that he can find.

He always talks super eccentric wich leads you to misunderstanding him often.

In the after hours of the Pizzaplex he pins all the drawings that kids made for him on the walls in his room.

He’ll randomly pick you up and treat you like a toddler, just to mess with you.

He’s usually not roaming free in the Pizzaplex but when he’s concerned about you he’ll storm out within minutes.

He’s a desperate dude. He would beg just to let him fuck you. Just drooling over you and your perfect figure praising you every minute.

He can handle various types of kids who are different than others. He knows ASL and has bells around his wrist so the blind kids hear him.

He learns the names and interests from kids who are regularly with him.

He has a lot of stamina. Like. A LOT. So he can go on for hours and hours.

His head spikes spin when he cums, but he always puts his head behind though, so he won’t hurt you accidentally. “F-Fuck sunshine~ This is amazing!”

He loves making puppet shows for the little ones! And sometimes he’ll ask you to join him to make them more human and interesting to look at.

When the kids leave he’s usually very alone. Cleaning the daycare or searching for you to accompany him.

He’s a fan of Karaoke but he doesn’t want people to hear his voice.

One time you came into the daycare in the after hours to search for sun. His monthly maintenance was due but he was nowhere to be found.

It’s weird since he’s always on time. You look through the whole daycare but he wasn’t there. So you go to his room and look over it. And there he is bawled up in the corner.

“Sun? What’s up dear?” you asked gently knowing that he needs you right now. “Sunshine?! Oh… I’m so so sorry that you have to see me this way again.” He said in a super sad tone while looking on the ground. “Don’t worry Sunny. You know you can tell me everything…” He looks up at you with hope.

“Oh… I… uhm… the parents were talking about me again.” He continued to tell you how the parents were talking bad about him. It broke your heart. You sat down beside him and hug his slim build. “You’re the best Sun. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.” You give him a reassuring smile and you guys hug for a long time.

His love language is Acts of Service. He appreciates everything you do for him, even if it’s something small like leaving a sticky note for him.

He apologizes a lot too. Even for stuff that isn’t in his power.

He likes dancing with you. No matter if it’s more partying or if it’s more of a slow dance. “Come here sunshine. Let’s enjoy this moment…”

He’s not only programmed to entertain children but also to educate them. He has a wide range of languages and can count up to 100.

His dick is basically a tentacle. It’s twisted with moons part wich makes it even better to play with.

He has ADHD and uses stimming toys to calm himself. His favorite are the fidget cubes. He also got really sad that fidget spinners didn’t trend anymore.

Sometimes he wishes to be only one animatronic instead of two. After all Moon gets to spend all night with you and he doesn’t.

Every time the younger kids are explaining new memes to him he doesn’t understand. “Oh! What you drawing there small one?? What’s that? A skibidi Toilette…? That sounds disturbing…” You pat him on the shoulder. “Yeah no one gets what they like about…. That.” You say with a slight disgust on your face.

He also wished he could be more comfortable. His metal build isn’t really good for comforting the kiddos. He asked you a bunch of times if you can change something against that but you can’t due to the strict guidelines for him.

He tries to get into your special interests. Asking a bunch of questions so you know he’s interested in your life.

He’d be a switch with a bottom preference. He loves getting touched by you. But he also loves seeing you desperate.

One time you asked him if he still loved you. That man looked at you with the most shocked expression ever and just hugged you.

He hugged you and said “Oh Y/N… my sunshine… you’re the best thing that ever happened to me! I love you with all my body, heart and soul!” You guys just stand there holding each other for a very long time

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That’s also finished! I wanna send a huge shoutout and thanks to @millenniumproductions !! I’ll make sure to fulfill all your requests sooner or later! If you’re new here you can also leave a Follow and request! And once again thank you for reading!

- Your Ghost ༼ つ ╹ ╹ ༽つ

[soupdreamer]

i need to lie down

so excited for nimona!!

[uzumaki-ash]

AHHHHHH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT ON MY JAYVIK COMIC!!! This is my first time drawing a sad angsty story and I fear I ate a lil too hard!! I typically lean towards fluff stuff so! I literally have been loving the comments btw thank you for all the compliments 😭💕I saw someone say it flowed really well and that’s one of the biggest compliments ever also I am so very sorry for causing distress and tears haha I honestly didn’t think it would happen 😭 ik I’m probs letting it get to my head but genuinely thank you

Just a reminder it’s NOT finished I am currently lining it now AND adding ALT Text because TRUST the text was bothering me too… I normally write everything out before finalizing and fixing things so again, I apologize for my messy writing 😊 I will also be coloring, adding details, and just fixing/touching things up so if yall are still interested she will be fully done in due time.. I do work full time- I wish I could sit at home and work on this all day but I unfortunately can’t so please be patient while I finish it 😊 in the meantime if there is any Jayvik doodles yall want to see until then to keep you fed let me know 😊💕

[infpravenclaw5w4idkwhatelse]

Apparently its just in my brain rn but I wanted to make this list for me or for anyone out there who gets into editing before I do (pleas please please idk how to edit and unless I hyper fixate hard enough, I probably won’t take the time to learn lmao) but anyway this is a list of the Robins and songs (by Taylor Swift so there’s a theme and the list has a finite end) that I desperately need an edit of them with.

Stephanie brown- the man (literally can’t hear the song without thinking of her), mad woman (I can see this with interspersed scenes of her father, fighting villains specifically black mask, and Bruce)

Jason Todd- my tears ricochet (absolutely devastating w/ under the red hood, specifically comic version iykyk the difference between that and the movie), haunted (I need this with Bruce and dick and Tim’s reaction to his death), bigger than the whole sky (similar to haunted but more resigned? And still more about characters responding to his death but still His Death), who’s afraid of little old me (red hood transitional period. You see the vision? I know you do.) look what you made me do (obviously. I keep imagining him listening to this song while being the red hood and it’s great), the Great War (just. The imagery. There’s so much potential here. “maybe it’s the past that’s talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did” with a cut to Batman and Joker would go so hard)

Dick Grayson (there’s really no order to this list is there? Lol anyway.)- never grow up (focused on his relationships with his siblings and then after the bridge with the “wish I’d never grown up” with flashbacks to him as Robin oh my god I’d cry), 22 (idk it feels very early Nightwing to me. I need a happy one for him bc he deserves it. Just an edit of him winning and being iconic), New Romantics (in that same vein, with the titans because it’d be fun), the story of us and I forgot that you existed (him and B fighting because I feel people ignore that they do fight quite often and IFTYE especially feels the right amount of petty and sincere for him, you know?), last but not least (can you tell I love him) Style (this and any love interest he repeatedly dates, I was thinking specifically Barbara but I could also see kory, I just think this song is fun for any relationship that gets rebooted in multiple formats)

Tim Drake- enchanted (as itty bitty Tim Drake or Robin, meeting them at galas and Knowing or just working with the bats in the beginning when he was star struck), mirrorball (“I can change everything about me to fit in” …yeah. This is more a fanon interpretation but I read a really interesting fic where Jason comes back and meets Tim and all he can see is his and dick’s Robin mannerisms in him, and can’t find anything that’s just Tim’s until he’s too tired to pretend anymore and it’s stuck with me) you’re losing me (this would be a sad one of people generally looking over or hating him, specifically Bruce calling him Jason, finding out dick made Damian Robin, Damian and Jason verbally attacking him, the events that led to Red Robin) Tis the damn season (for when Red Robin arc is over and he’s still angry but doesn’t know what else to do)

Damian Wayne: a place in this world (it’s not his aesthetic, but the themes of the song are very raised-in-the-league-trying-to-be-a-functioning-family-member), the best day (with him and Dick generally him getting to be a kid, I’m not crying you are), mean (I think the “swords and weapons that you use against me”would be funny with him drawing assorted weapons on people), Innocent (“your string of lights is still bright to me oh, who you are is not where you’ve been” oh my god. I just feel like he needs someone to mean this about him) exile (Talia leaving him, even if she meant to do it for his own good, having to recon with not being in the league anymore), this is me trying (I don’t have words for this one, it’s a vibe)

Bonus:

Anti-hero: you can give all of them different verses that fit best, but I think they’d all sing the song and feel like it was them and I’d love to see an edit of them to it.

Epiphany: Alfred. You don’t even have to listen to it, just look at the lyrics and you’ll Get It.

robin: this I see for both Jason and Dick, so probably split between them.

Mastermind: first off, shameless TimSteph shipper, not even necessarily romantically, it’s just that they’re soulmates and I don’t care what canon says; I know that because they told me personally. Anyway the song is from both of their perspectives. They both think they’re the mastermind

State of Grace: also TimSteph. Fight me.

[lightlycareless]

whenever this audio comes up on my fyp i always think of naomi and naoya 🥹

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFX51PoD/

Hiii!! How are you? It's always so good to see you 🙈🙈🙈 I hope you've been doing well 💖 and thank you for waiting for my response 🥺

I'm so sad that the video doesn't appear anymore. Or at least it doesn't for me, but I still (vaguely) remember the context of it and it's essentially a father walking their daughter down the aisle, a reflection of when them kids are not kids anymore!! Or so I believe that was.

Either way, this was very bittersweet for me to ponder about🥺 every time Naomi is brought up she's still that baby you and Naoya spoil whenever possible, so to imagine her all grown up, leaving the nest... maybe even settling down and having kids????😭 why??????

Warnings: fluff, honestly. domestic type. you and naoya reflect on them years together.

Happy reading!

It’s inevitable.

No matter how much you or Naoya try to deny it, Naomi will eventually become an adult and have her own life.

But the two, in your heart, she’ll always be your baby.

Even when she becomes a sorcerer, amongst the best of her generation, all you could think of is the sweet way in which she’d run to you, eagerly stretching out her short, chubby arms to gift you whatever drawing she’d done that evening: usually you and her holding hands while surrounded by many hearts, showcasing a sample of her infinite love for you.

“Mama! Mama! Look what I made for you!”

“Oh, pumpkin, is that us?”

“Yes, mama. It’s us that day in the garden, remember? When you told me flowers bloomed!”

“Ah, yes! And then papa took us out to the city, right?” you remember fondly, because how could you forget? Such moments are what makes living far more enjoyable. Love for your family even sweeter. “Did you show papa too?”

“No, because I gave him his own. I also made another one with the three of us! But that’s only mine…”

Your heart tightens, tears threatening to fall down your cheeks.

“Oh, Naomi, why do you have to be so cute?!” you cry, quickly wrapping your arms around her and lifting her up to pepper kisses all over her face which she happily accepts.

But of course, you couldn’t do that now. Your baby was now in her teens, spending most of her time away at school or on missions, leaving the two with a dreadful sense of loneliness.

A reflection of how much time has passed.

“Our oldest is set to graduate this summer.” You quietly reflect over breakfast. “Her siblings will soon follow, and then… it’s just going to be us again.”

“Why must you torment us this way, Y/N? Do you seek excitement through pain?” Naoya, your husband, jests.

“I suppose so.” You respond, not in the mood to play along. He frowns. “I just can’t help but… see Naomi and think of how small she looked in my arms. But now, she’s just a footstep away from being an adult.

…

Do you ever stop and wonder, when time go by?”

“In almost 20 years of marriage, I suppose that by living the best time of my life.” He says, giving you a smile he hopes will ease your burdened heart; it does, just not completely. “What torments you, my love?”

“…Nothing important, I guess.” You murmur. “This happens to everyone.”

“No, it is important if it has you like this.” He persists, taking ahold of your hand and making you sigh.

“I just wish they could’ve stayed little for a bit longer.” You confess. “But at the same time, I’m ecstatic to see what they will become. It’s complicated, isn’t it?”

“Well, we still have our Naohime to dote on.” Naoya reminds, kissing your chuckles. “So, we’ll still have a kid to chase around the estate one more time.”

And for someone as spoiled, yet adorable as Naohime was slowly growing to be, that task was quite the handful.

You laugh.

“I guess we do.” You then rest your head against hist shoulder, sighing. “20 years…”

“19, to be precise. Next year is going to be 20.”

“Next year? Oh, we have to make something special to celebrate!” you breathe, looking up to him. “It’s not every day that we achieve that milestone.”

He doesn’t have the heart to tell you that he’s already planned something for such occasion, for quite some time too. Doesn’t want to spoil your endearing reaction he’s sure you’re bound to have.

But he supposes he could indulge you in a second ceremony, it’s only fitting for 2 decades of being together.

And the many more to come.

“We can plan a small holiday, just the two of us. And another one with your children.” Naoya suggests. “Just like old times.”

“When we were still young, and oh, so in love?”

“Were?” He smirks. “I still am.”

You blush, shyly batting your eyes before leaning into his warmth yet again.

“How do you still manage to fluster me, even after all this time?”

Naoya shrugs before leaning into you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer, where you could hear his quickening heart… a notion that makes you smile sweetly.

Because after all these years, he too hasn’t changed much.

Whenever he’s close to you, his heart still skips a beat.

Ngl I think I kind of messed up the timelines there, but still managed to keep it reasonable. I really need to set down a timeframe for all of these shenanigans... or not, it'll allow me to be more flexible hehe.

Also, I cut out anything related to Naomi getting married and having kids even though the video pointed to that. Why? Because I don't want to think of our baby leaving 😭😭😭 but really because I hadnt given much thought to their adult lives. However, Naomi strikes me as someone that wouldn't care too much for that, perhaps because she's the heir after Naoya so she worries about the clan first, and then her personal life.

I fear this is when she begins to understand why her father was absent throughout some parts of her life, she still is... conflicted about it, but is slightly more empathetic.

AND of course, if we're being real, Naoya is too overprotective of all his kids. You're slightly more lenient, but no one is worthy of being their partner :) might even scare them... so there's that hahaha.

Anyways, thank you so much for sending me this sweet prompt 🥺!!!!!! Now I have an even bigger desire to write domestic fluff 😭😭😭😭😭 thankfully, there's more to come hehe.

Now, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[meanbossart]

Hello and I hope you’re well!

I’ve been meaning to ask about ANE for a while now. I’m mostly curious if you’ll be depicting more scenes from the story? I ask because the comic you made about the Drow and Astarion at the bar role playing made me sad kinda, like before Drow cheered him up Astarion was contemplating his vampirism/just left the drider confrontation. I know that’s not the order of events but Astarion looked so sullen I can’t help but connect it to ANE.

I’m also curious when we’ll see another chapter come through, no pressure of course!

Hello, thank you for the well-wishes! Hope you've had a fine monday yourself.

I mean, that could very well be the order of events. That comic is meant to take place after the game after all, and I didn't imply a precise timeline. My specific intentions WRT what Astarion is bummed about are a little different, but I always want to encourage people to draw their own conclusions ;)

As to your question, yes! There is even one poor ask in my inbox that's been sitting there for ages that references one scene that I want to draw, lol. Alas, I only have so many hands and so much time, so I can't make any promises as to when depictions from the fic will come - but I do have plans for it.