#i wish all frozen franchise a very die

[randomlikeliness]

7.000 fucking lay-offs and terrible movies, congrats Disney.

[lumastoybox]

Was just randomly thinking about it, how would you rank all the Disney Princess movies? Like from favorite to least favorite, numbered list, or like letter (A, B, C) tiers?

I hope it’s okay to talk about some of the placement reasons, we feel pretty passionate about this. Especially ones that are absolute favorites or might surprise others.

There is too much that has already been said about Beauty and the Beast. All I am going to say is that it’s one of my favorite movies, that I could watch over and over again. It’s also my favorite romance story in the franchise 👉👈

Little Mermaid also has been praised a lot too, so we will keep it brief. Ariel is my favorite Disney princess, because I love how flawed she is, and as a queer person I can relate to her relationship with her father with my own parents. This movie and Beauty and the Beast feel so queer to me, and we are glad that Howard Ashman’s influence and involvement were strong in them both.

Yes I put Cinderella 3 at Godtier I love this movie sm, and we know it didn’t need to exist, but we are glad someone made their Cinderella fanfic a reality. It breathes more characters into the prince (he’s the best Disney prince I will die on that hill), her step sister Anastasia, and even the king. Her step mom is even more of a threat in this movie too. Also this movie looks really good for just being direct to DVD. This movie also pokes fun of its classic fairytale ways, but in a more charming way like Enchanted does.

Sleeping Beauty is very high because this movie is fucking gorgeous, *eats all the bg art up* I also love how petty and bitchy Maleficent is. Also love that the movies real heroines are the three fairies, and you don’t get much movies were three older women get to be the protagonists.

In our opinion we like Frozen 2 better than one. We just like the settings and atmosphere more. We like some songs more too, like Into the Unknown and Show Yourself. I’m a simple queer person with the mental illness, so we really relate to Elsa, so we like that she has more focus in this film. Still this movie is kinda of double edged sword because some side characters like Kristoff and Olaf are actually so annoying in this movie, I never thought much of these characters before, but now I despise them. Also they took out some things that would have made this movie so much better, like a romantic song between Kristoff and Anna that honestly makes their relationship more endearing. Also the fucking castle would have been destroyed in the end, making this tale of colonialism much more symbolic. They weren’t brave enough to do that tho, or who knows higher ups probably didn’t like the idea.

Speaking of what might have been, I wish men didn’t meddle and take over a woman’s vision when it comes to Brave. It’s another movie were we feel in our opinion it could have been better than what we got.

I’m not gonna say much about Pocahontas, because it’s not really our place. We will just say as a child it never was a favorite of ours. I don’t like how the human characters look, a lot of the characters are weak too, the villian is so lame. The only positives I can say some of the music can be amazing, some of the visuals are gorgeous, and I like the animal companions. However both films especially the 2nd make me like 😬

Oh I almost forget Aladdin is not here, because I feel like I need to rewatch it again to see where we would place it. To be fair it doesn’t feel like a Disney Princess movie anyways, since Aladdin gets more focus than Jasmine. There are also some Disney sequels we have not seen that are not here.

[seeker-of-the-stars]

skyfire g1 telling the story to team prime of how it was that starscream was his best friend (technically it is the only version of the character that appears in the friendly franchise and Is * c,: cries * friend of starscream) and, I don't know, if he has an opinion skyfire on how the Starscream Prime was a good fit with the autobots. good choice

“Guys, I think we should give Starscream a chance.” He ignored the weird looks thrown at him by his fellow Autobots. “He’s injured, starving, and all by himself. If someone doesn’t help him than he’ll die.”

“Not our problem,” Arcee muttered.

“Arcee.”

“Sorry Optimus, but it’s true. He’s worked under Megatron for how many millennia now? And you think he’s just going to behave and be a good little Autobot now after all this time?” 

Skyfire sighed. He himself was relatively new to the Autobots, joining just a few months ago after they pulled him out of the ice in Antarctica. It was disorienting, to say the least, that not only had millions of years passed since he was frozen solid, but that there was a war going on and his former best friend was on the wrong side.

“I know Starscream. I know he can be abrasive and difficult to deal with at times, but he is also capable of loyalty and kindness if you return it.”

“Tell that to Cliffjumper.” 

“Arcee,” Optimus warned. The Autobot leader turned toward Skyfire. “You worked with Starscream before the war started, correct?”

“Yes sir. We worked together, and were good friends. We were both on the mission to earth when the snow storm hit that put me under.”

“Yes, I remember. Everyone thought for centuries that he was the one who killed you. No doubt it caused him a great amount of pain being accused of a crime he didn’t commit, especially one as heinous as killing a trusted friend.”

A wave of guilt washed over Skyfire. “I would’ve given anything to clear his name sooner. The fact that the academy hated him enough to frame him for murder-”

“It’s not your fault, my friend. I didn’t mean to imply it was,” Optimus said. “But no matter what Starscream was in the past, the fact remains that he has killed people in cold blood since then, including our very team members. I do not wish to subject my team to further harm.”

“I’ll take responsibility for him,” Skyfire offered. “He can stay with me, and I’ll keep him out of trouble. He listens to me.”

Optimus looked him right in the optics. “And do I have your word on that, Skyfire?”

“Yes, absolutely. I’ll do everything in my power to help him adjust.”

Optimus looked from Skyfire to the rest of the team. “Very well, my new friend. Starscream can stay on a probationary period. He will not be allowed to go anywhere unsupervised and will be thrown out immediately if he harms anyone on the team.”

“Optimus!”

“Are you crazy?”

“Starscream, really?”

“Friends, please. I have made my decision,” Optimus said. “Skyfire is the only one among us who has known Starscream on an intimate basis, and I trust his judgement.” He looked at Skyfire. “And I know he would never lead us to harm.”

“Of course not,” he said, resisting the urge to gulp. Was Starscream really the same mech he was all those years ago?

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #22- If You Don’t Love Thunderclash, Get Better Soon I Guess

One last issue before we reach Comic Event Hell.

Time to use a dead man to set up the rest of the nonsense that’s got to happen, because apparently 14 issues of setup, including six issues of literal prelude, wasn’t enough.

The first bit of information we’re presented with is the fact that Chromedome and Swerve are on the opposite sides of the camera-shy scale. I guess that’s bound to happen when your spouse has had his video-cam literally connected to his brain for at least several thousand years.

The art may look really gritty and hardcore here, but this is actually due to a filter Rewind has over all his footage that he’s neglected to take off, because it made all the wartime propaganda he would stuff into people’s heads all the more brutal-looking.

No, this is the style of our artist for this issue, James Raiz, who we’ll be seeing a fair bit of over the next several issues. Raiz has worked on the Transformers franchise over the course of multiple license-holders, as well as contributed to both Marvel and DC comics. He also works in special effects, including matte painting and VFX. That’s just neat.

Anyway, the reason Swerve’s completely frozen in place isn’t because Rewind  switched out his head-mounted camera for a gun that goes off if it hears you make a self-deprecating joke, but rather because he’s conducting interviews with everyone in the main cast. We get all their introductions, Cyclonus makes a statement about his political stances, Drift sounds like he’s high as a kite, First Aid strikes a sassy pose while not being bitter in the slightest, and Ultra Magnus makes a move that would get him murdered on any given film set in the universe.

You do NOT use your bare fucking hand to clean a camera lens, mister. Go get a microfiber cloth and try the fuck again, you complete and utter duffel bag of a creature.

We get a quick cut of the speech Rodimus made back in issue #1, with an angle that implies that Rewind was in the front row of the front row, then cut over to Rodimus asking Rewind to document their Capital-Q Quest. This is where we establish that this film doesn’t only contain footage from Rewind’s personal camera, but also that of the Lost Light’s security system.

Which feels like the sort of access you maybe wouldn’t want to give some nosy little film buff, especially when you have a secret giant serial killing sadist living in your basement like a disappointing adult child.

See? He was given the job to record the adventures of the Lost Light not five minutes ago, and he’s already using his powers for evil. Eavesdropping evil. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Rodimus, and you just handed it to the guy with a massive Dominus Ambus-shaped chip on his shoulder.

So Rewind’s got permission to film just about whatever he wants, and Rodimus figures it’ll be nonstop action from here to the finish line! Fights! Intrigue! Mild hijinks and peril! Explosions aplomb! Oh man, I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shit will happen on this absolute roller coaster of a Quest!

Smashcut to Swerve literally falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. Yeah, as it turns out, no quest, capital Q or not, is nonstop action. Which is good, honestly, because that kind of seems like it would be exhausting after the first week or so.

Swerve, Tailgate, and Rewind are discussing cool alt-modes, which seems like an odd topic, seeing as Tailgate and Swerve have basically the same situation going on there, leaving Rewind alone in the camp of “does not have wheels”.

I worry about you sometimes, Rewind. Internalized Functionism is a very real problem. Uh, well, in your universe anyway. Us humans have to deal with regular ol’ classism and racism.

Rung gets brought up, and it’s revealed that the wheel on his back is almost purely cosmetic; it doesn’t even actually attach to his body. The lads decide that they’ve got nothing better to do, and set up a gentlemen’s wager- first one to figure out Rung’s whole deal gets 100 space-dollars.

Throwing shit at people’s heads will be a major plot point in the climax of this comic series.

Swerve’s go at trying to win the bet involved tossing a grenade at Rung to hit him in the neural cluster, which is rumored to be able to force an involuntary mode change if done correctly. Obviously, it didn’t work this go around. Then our narrative focus switches over to the crew’s hobbies.

You were listening to Prince, weren’t you, Magnus? Not even deep space is safe from the Cease and Desist.

Skids’ hobby is meeting new people, because he suffers from the terrible curse of being so fucking good at everything he tries, he always ends up dropping whatever he picked up, because what’s the point? This acts as a segue into another flashback, to even MORE bullshit that the fellas got roped into on Hedonia.

These are the Stentarians. They’re like the Cybertronians, if they were better in every way.

And by “better”, I, of course, mean “more bloodthirsty, warmongering, and driven enough to make their civil war last about as long as the Jurassic Period”. Also, they’re all combiners by default, and Whirl seems a little TOO into their whole situation. So much so, in fact, that when the Imperial Guard of their race show up to kill them, he decides to do them a solid by single-handedly ending their entire war.

You know, in most cases you’re supposed to show and not tell for visual media. This is way funnier, though, so it can be excused.

We jump back into the interviews, and Rewind’s just asked everyone if they’re happy. This might seem like an odd question, until you remember that everyone on-board this ship has crippling depression and PTSD, and Rewind’s married to one of the saddest motherfuckers to ever exist, so he probably has this question loaded into the proverbial chamber at any given moment. We won’t cover all of the answers here, because they’ll be more poignant to reflect back on later in the comic run, but let’s take a gander at the characters who’ve completed the first leg of their character arcs this season.

Drift, is that perhaps… an honest expression of your inner thought processes happening right there? Has Rewind broken through your carefully crafted persona, if even for just a moment, with his question? Perish the thought!

Because Tailgate outed himself as being baby in issue #21, I have zero doubt he’s not exaggerating here. He was a janitor, then he fell in a hole and became Dirt-Nap Supreme for six million years; even the most boring day on the Lost Light’s got to be better than that.

And it’s nice to see Chromedome on a good day for once. Hopefully he reveled in it while he had the chance, because this interview takes place maybe a couple weeks before he fucks everything up big time and has to blow up his husband with a missile strike.

Getting back to the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode plotline, we see Rung using his backpack as a wheelbarrow- no idea what he’s actually pushing in the damned thing- and wearing the most disgruntled face I’ve seen him pull in a hot minute. Someone yells for him to come down the eerily unlit and sinister-looking hallway, which he does. Rung would not do well in a horror film.

He winds up at Swerve’s, where Tailgate, Swerve, Brainstorm, and someone who is most likely Trailcutter, given the colors, are hanging out in their alt-modes. Tailgate’s ploy to find out Rung’s deal is to do what he does best- lie! They’re having an alt-mode party, and wouldn’t Rung like to join in? There are, of course, logistical issues with being a car in a bar, especially when your drink is on the table and your head is tucked up somewhere in your torso, but never mind all that! Let’s get crazy!

This doesn’t work either. Maybe we should cut out the middle man here and just get Rung drunk enough to agree to a wet alt-mode contest.

No, I don’t have any idea how that would work.

In our next vignette, Rodimus comes into the comms room, Rewind trailing behind him like a grim shadow of death, to see what the hell Blaster wants, other than just the hugest glass of water.

Raiz’s work is very detailed, and you really feel the weight of these giant metal space robots, but everyone looks like they’ve been put through a food dehydrator.

We get a lot of build up to the character who’s about to be introduced, with a common opinion being shared amongst everyone- even Tailgate, who hates successful people like his life depends on it.

Lovely readers, put your hands together for the ideal male partner for Autobots, Decepticons, and Neutrals alike:

A man with so much charisma and charm that only Rodimus could hate him, Thuderclash brings to IDW what everyone wishes Optimus Prime would, making our disappointing space dad even more mediocre by comparison. He fights for justice, and freedom, and the good of the universe- and he does it all while having a chronic medical condition that forces him to stay within a certain distance of his ship that is also a life-support machine, otherwise he will die. Despite his handicaps, Thunderclash seemingly brings to others what they need most, even if they don’t even realize that they needed it in the first place.

He also, in this one scene, appeals to Drift’s religious sensibilities, does a secret best-friend dance with Ratchet (who he helped to pass his medical exams- yes, Ratchet), and congratulates Rodimus on his questing so far.

Thunderclash is one of those characters that everyone in-universe is supposed to love, and I completely buy it- because he’s completely genuine and humble about all of this the entire time.

Compare this to the last time Roberts wrote Thunderclash, in Eugenesis.

Where he was an ex-Decepticon.

And kind of an abrasive asshole.

And then he died.

Y’know, now that I think of it, Eugenesis Thunderclash and MTMTE Ambulon being basically the same character makes a whole lot of sense, even without the horrors of Roberts’ Twitter getting involved.

Thunderclash reveals that he, too, is on a quest to find the Knights of Cybertron, much to Rodimus’ chagrin. But first he needs the Lost Light to break out the jumper cables, and then for his second in command to stop threatening his life.

Turns out, not everyone is as obvious as the Cybertronians with their naming conventions. Whirl assassinated the wrong folks; I’m sure the Galactic Council is utterly thrilled. Paddox wants to steal the quantum engine technology for the good of his people, so they can kick the ass of the up-and-coming Terradore leader.

Completely unaware of the situation unfolding here in the lab, Swerve is directing Rung towards the warm, loving aura of Thunderclash for another go at winning the gentlemen’s wager- through the power of lying about having friends, Swerve’s “agreed” to get Rung Thunderclash’s autograph, in exchange for getting to check that Rung’s transformation cog is still working. Then they bump into the nightmare currently unfolding. My, whoever will save us from this dreaded menace, who holds a gun to the head of the Autobots’ greatest warrior, confidant, friend, and perhaps even lover?

How about a bartender and a giant vape pen?

Okay, so Rung doesn’t actually turn into a vape. It turns out that the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode is also a mystery to the man himself. Because Rung is old as shit, the Functionists got to see this bullshit for themselves, and ended up testing him over and over and over trying to figure it out, lest he prove to be a flaw in their fascist ideologies. Fun fact: fascists HATE it when people they’re trying to oppress don’t play to their expectations.

The Functionists were the ones who gave Rung his little wheelie backpack, to make him at least appear useful. This sort of treatment tends to warp one’s head a bit, which would explain why he’s bothered to keep it for so long- internalized functionism’s a real bitch.

At least he’s not giving teenagers nicotine addictions under the guise of being somewhat better than cigarettes.

Back with Rodimus and Cybertron’s Autobot of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years, we get the unfortunate news that jump-starting Thunderclash’s ship is going to make the Quest go a bit slower for the Lost Light, much to Rodimus’ horror, though he does his best to put on a brave face; after all, that’s what heroes do, isn’t it?

It’s at this point that it’s revealed that “Little Victories” was being screened to all the Circle of Light members who didn’t get murdered or turned into Legislators on Luna 1, and man are these guys pissy. What was meant to be a recruitment video turned out to do just the opposite, because none of these guys want anything to do with what the Lost Light’s got going on.

Too bad Rewind didn’t have time for a cleaner cut for showing. Maybe they could have at least snagged a couple of these guys to tag along.

As all of the Circle of Light leave the theatre to go call everyone’s favorite Autobot to see if he needs a more crew members, the film plays on behind Skids, back to the interviews, as everyone promises more adventures just waiting on the horizon.

You’re not even on this trip anymore, you dork.

Chromedome gives us the title drop for the movie and issue, and we cut to Rewind organizing a group photo of all the interviewees.

And then Rewind died horribly like a week later. Thus ends season one of More Than Meets the Eye!

While I’m here, I’d like to take the time to cover a little bit of cut content from this issue, a scene between Drift and Ratchet.

Drift, during his interview, recalls the time that Ratchet called him into his office for a very serious discussion about his/Pharma’s hands.

Yeah, turns out they’re haunted.

Well, no, not really, because this is a prank. But Drift doesn’t know that yet.

Ratchet demonstrates this hand-haunting by punching Drift in the face, as he screams damnation at Pharma’s ghost. Drift, because he is a spiritual man, knows exactly what to do to deal with this possession; he draws his sword and chops Ratchet’s hands off, then throws them out the airlock.

This, too, is a prank, not that Ratchet knows it right away, yelling at Drift that he’s crippled him.

Clearly, these two belong together.

This bit of cut script was lucky enough to have gotten drawn by the colorist for MTMTE Season 1, Josh Burcham. Burcham’s line art is iconic- you won’t mistake him for anyone else. It’s rough and angular, and honestly just very charming. I’m a sucker for this sort of style. If you want to see his adaptation of this chunk of script- and trust me, you do- the link’s right here:

https://dcjosh.tumblr.com/post/107665292031/its-done-the-mtmte-22-deleted-scene-in-all-its

[youkaiyume]

Frozen 2 Thoughts.... SPOILERS SCROLL AWAY SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!!!

---

- Opening intro and it took everything in me to not shout BUT EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED in the theater.

- There is a fair amount of shoehorned in lore/backstory that while hints of interesting is frustratingly vague and handwavey like... it doesn’t really explain a lot of why things are the way they are.

- Including their Mom being a part of a northern tribe and...

- I am sorry am I the only one who is bothered by the fact that this tribe is clearly based off of indigenous ppl/ obvs POC, her Mother is SO SO WHITE. I understand that there are totally light skinned ppl in the tribes these ppl are loosely based off of. And, Like it would bother me less if there were others in that tribe that looked like her, or there were more of a mix but she is literally. the. only. one. I dunno it all stinks a little too much of Disney trying to convince us that the main characters are totally not too white, they’re POC all along! after the initial controversy that happened when the first movie released.

- Plot somehow manages to be both really simple and convoluted af.

- Did Anna and Elsa leave the rock trolls in charge of the Kingdom while they’re gone??? What is WITH these girls and just leaving their responsibilities to unqualified strangers. WHERE. IS. YOUR. GOVERNMENT.

- Movie does not know what to do with Kristoff besides make him ‘the Reindeer Guy’

- I know you’re struggling man, but also this is a terrible time to be proposing/wondering why your gf is more worried about the state of her kingdom and her Sister than her romance with you.

- I kind of wish he had a thing with that OTHER reindeer guy.

- I really wish the mysterious Northern ppl were some kind of benders like everyone had speculated before the release. Like Elsa came form these ppl who were natural element users. but they just fell under more stereotypical ‘we are indigenous ppl so we are in tune with the forest spirits--also don’t ask us how the forest spirits work, or any kind of help on your journey to deal with them~~~’

- it’s all very cliche ‘and white men in history, bad’ without any actual consequences and isn’t that reflective of... STUFF.

- a lot of songs felt like filler, which is weird because Disney is usually good about knowing that songs need to propel the story/have a purpose.

- I thought Kristoff’s song in particular was hilarious like i know what you’re doing, and the execution was v. funny. but it falls into the category of ‘this is not necessary/they really didn’t know what to do with your character, did they’

- Every time Elsa sings it’s a rule that she has to get a new marketable outfit.

- The water nok/horse was also a very blatant ploy for ‘girls like horses let’s give Elsa a pet horse’

- It was lit tho ngl.

- everything was a very blatant marketing ploy lbr. 

- I know it’s more dramatic, Elsa. but you literally made a boat to send Anna off in, why didn’t you make a boat to sail across the water instead of.... running...

- I know it was highly unlikely, but I actually thought it would have been very interesting if they’d actually let all of the character sacrifices be actual sacrifices.

- Like---yes, Olaf actually DID just poof. Arandelles does get actually swept away in the deluge from the Dam--at least the Castle which was, as far as I could really tell, the only thing that was in the way of that flood tbh...cuz it was thriving off of an injustice that had been done to indigenous ppl.  Elsa actually dying for reals, but then becoming the literal fifth spirit like she claims she is every sense of the word. Protecting the land and the ppl, and becoming bigger than the limitations her mortal life had. But it’s Disney, and that’s too meaningful.

It’s not because I want everyone to die so this franchise can too i swear.

- Olaf wants to grow up and be a real boy I guess???

- I guess this blows holes in all those ridiculous Disney theories including: The ship in the little mermaid is Anna and Elsa’s parents’. The king and queen were off visiting Tangled movie/Rapunzel’s birth/maybe Rapunzel’s Mom and Elsa/Anna’s mom are sisters cuz they look alike--psych it turns out Disney really is just bad with their same face problem.  and my most hated one, The King and Queen are actually Tarzan’s parents too.

- While the two being separated at the end was predictable, I was quite pleased to see Anna take the throne. maybe she’ll finally instate some officials and a government. 

- ‘I prefer you in leather anyway’ DON’T THINK I DIDN’T CATCH THAT ANNA, YOU DIRTY GIRL.

(These are just my opinions--I don’t hate the movie, it was entertaining and all I just thought it was meh)

Anyway, this video is pretty accurate

[legendarypizzaalpaga]

Here are my thoughts on Frozen II

(and it’s going to be terribly long, I’m sorry)

Actually I don’t think anybody reads my articles (well, I might have written 3 in the past 5/ 6 years with like 4 years of inactivity so ahem) but I really need to share what I think about this movie.

I am a Hans fan AND a Helsa shipper. Or course I was disappointed by him not being in the movie, by knowing his useless appearance or all the punch in the face from the writers to Hans and Hans’ fans (that seem both to be hated by them for some reason? Even if we are part of Frozen fandom too?). Of course, I can’t totally enjoy it because of that, because it feels that there is something “missing”, because it really feels that we, Hans’ fans, are being made fun off by wanting him being redeemed. Disappointed, but not surprised, actually.

BUT you know what? I accepted it. I can deal with it. I can find all the Hans and Helsa content I want here, so even if I am genuinely sad that Hans doesn’t appear in the movie, I thought that I might be able to like the movie like everyone else. I was not waiting for it regarding all the spoilers I read, but after reading a lot of positive comments, even from other disappointed Hans’ fans, I changed my mind.

Believe it or not, I am not a hater, I wanted to like this movie. I wanted so badly to like this movie, I swear. But I didn’t, not only the end, but from the beginning to the end. I dislike it to a point I envy people who liked it because I felt so bad during the entire movie when I wanted to like it like the first one.

Long story short, I didn’t like Frozen I neither the first time I watched it. The only thing I liked was Hans, because he was handsome and a ginger (true story). I thought him turning a villain was stupid and terribly written. But after that, I was still thinking about it. I re watched it, started to like Elsa, Anna, started to ship Hanna and finally Helsa. I even started to like Hans being the villain, because his back story with him bullying by all his brothers was really interesting. Shipping Helsa made sense and after six years I’m still in. Frozen is a beautiful movie with very likable characters in their own ways.

But I still think Frozen I is not amazingly written. It has a lot of flaws, but every movie has, so I didn’t make a big deal of it. I waited six years for Frozen II, which can probably explain why I don’t like it to that point. I spent six years discussing Frozen and realizing that the writers’ idea of it is totally different of mine is quite weird, even if its is not their fault. Disney owe Frozen, not the fans, they can do anything they want with it. I hope in the future I’ll start to like Frozen II like I did for Frozen I, seeing its quality. I am not a negative person and I don’t want to hate or roast anything.

But I can’t help but think that Frozen II has a pretty terrible writing and a lot, A LOT of flaws, plot holes and things that made me wonder if the writers even watched their own first movie. Even fans have different points of views, but really, I just don’t get what the movie was trying to say.

Still, I want to start with all the things I appreciate in it, because a lot of persons worked on this movie and sometimes did a pretty amazing job.

The songs are amazing. I want to put this one first because, as someone who don’t like Disney’s songs (even as a kid), me liking the songs is pretty rare. All the lyrics are beautiful, “Show Yourself” is now my favorite Disney song of all time and I’m going to listen to it over and over for the next six years. Unpopular opinion but I liked Kristoff's song too, being very kitschy, but I think that was the point. And Panic at the Disco’s “Into the unknown” is the best, really.

The movie is beautiful. Do I need to say anything more than that? I like the autumn theme of the all movie, with a lot of beautiful images. Frozen I was already really beautiful but, whoa, this one is amazing.

The new characters are enjoyable. Especially the lieutenant Destin Mattias (I had to google his name...). I regret they don’t have a lot of importance in this sequel because they had a lot of potential. Elsamaren shippers, you know what I mean.

Some scenes are really emotional. Elsa and Anna’s separation, Elsa being about to cry in “Show Yourself” when she sees her mother, Olaf’s die, Anna’s “The Next Right Thing” and everything about her in the end of the movie.

Anna being the amazing person she is. I am a Helsa shipper but did I ever say how much I love Anna? Anna who saves the day, as she always does, Anna being so strong and doing the right thing, Anna’s becoming queen (again I know it’s not a really popular opinion but I love Anna being queen and I would DIE to see her having powers too). She was a way more relatable character in the all movie than Elsa in my opinion, unfortunately. The only time I get a little emotional in the movie was for her, and even before, I always thought that Anna was the true heroine of all the Frozen franchise.

Elsa’s being super powerful. I have to say I didn’t like it, for a lot of reason I’ll discuss later, but I understand why a lot of persons like it. In six years, Elsa became a symbol, of what can be seen as a weakness could actually be your strength. In that sense, the fact that she is so powerful, so sure about herself, can be a fantastic message, especially for young audience, and having Elsa (or Anna) as role model seems really positive to me.

Kristoff’s positive masculinity. The line “My love is not fragile”, just that. You’re a cool guy, Kristoff, I like you. You deserve a happy marriage. That being said, I had to continue with what I didn’t like. I have to say first that I watched this movie only once, not in my mother tongue, and I didn’t watch Frozen I since a long time go. So it might containes mistakes or things I simply forgot. I am sorry for that. Again I don’t want to roast this movie, and I am really happy if you liked it, I wish I had too, I don’t like to be that negative but I have to take this out of my mind. (I’m not going to discuss Hans’ not being in the movie, as I said I accepted it)

I’ll start with “minor problems” really subjective and finish with my biggest issues about this movie.

Olaf was never funny to me. Unpopular opinion again, I don’t appreciate Olaf, I barely think him being a bit funny in the first movie, but in this one... I didn’t even smile once, except maybe with him explaining Frozen I’s Plot, but that was an easy one. His song is the only one I totally dislike and all his “I’ll understand when I grow up” well... I didn’t get it. When he admits he is angry at Elsa is the moment that made me him like him a little more. But, yeah, no, Olaf is not my cup of tea.

It’s the first time in my life I think animated characters are bad at acting. I am sorry but some lines where... like... I don’t know. The one I have in mind is especially when Kristoff is trying to propose once again and talks about “being crazy” and Anna responds with “Do you think I’m crazy??” with crazy eyes like... she NEVER acts like that! It seems like the animators wanted so badly to show how many facial expression the were capable of that they wrote those weird lines where the character changes their expression in a couple of seconds. The same goes with all the times the characters talk to themselves so the audience can understand what’s happening (ok it’s a kid’s movie but they’re not stupid...). Sometimes it made sense but sometimes it was just like a Korean drama, really (I love Korean drama but that’s not a compliment). I think it’s more a problem of writing, but sometimes it just made me feels that I was watching bad actors, that was so weird.

All the “water has memory” stuff. I am sorry but it doesn’t make sense, even a little. I know it’s a movie and I shouldn’t care, but the boat scene just killed me. Elsa has ICE powers, not WATER (I know ice is from water but if it’s the same, why is there a water spirit while Elsa is the fifth one?), so HOW DOES THAT WORK? HOW? EXPLAIN, MOVIE, PLEASE. Elsa can take water in everything (wind, earth, boat) and can create “memory” because it’s made of ice? Is that her special ability that nobody else has? But the water spirit also have a form of an horse so you can create things with water too? I don’t get it, not at all, sorry, I just don’t. It’s just lazy writing, in my opinion. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but that fact that it is used at EVERY single moment of the movie made me cringe, especially because of the next problem I have:

The characters understand everything too fast. All the “water has memory” bullshit is an easy way to allows that. The fact that the sisters immediately recognized their young father is a thing, but just by seeing a scarf they immediately understand that their mother is from here? Ok, why not. But Anna, just by seeing a sculpture of her grandfather trying to kill someone, she immediately understands that the dam was a trap???? HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO GET THAT? It could have been BILLIONS of reasons to her grandfather to kill the chef of the tribute, like conquer their forest, stealing their stuff or whatever. How does she know that the dam was a trap when it could have been a real sign of peace but then their grandfather becoming a douche after that? Again, it’s so lazy writing. Just by the tribe explaining to her that the dam was bad for them, but Anna continue to believe her grandfather was good, before understanding by the statue he was not could have been ENOUGH. And again, HOW does she know that breaking the dam is going to solve everything? Because the tribe lives with the nature, so what’s again the tribe is against the nature, so the spirits are mad, so they blocked the forest, but still what does that have to do with the damn fifth spirit? I don’t get this movie.

Elsa’s earning spirit’s friendship by fighting them. This one really made me wondering if I was watching the same movie as everybody. The spirits seem to be positive figure, because they represent nature. They don’t want intruders, so they attacked the group... why did they suddenly started to like and help Elsa when all she does is fighting them? Because they understand that she is like them? Because she is too powerfull, they finally decide to help her? What made them change their mind? If the writers tried to do something like Moana, well... that was better done in Moana, because she failed when she tried to attack but succeed when she decides not to, because you can’t fight nature, that’s the message. Again, I don’t get what this movie is trying to do. (oh and I especially hate the scene with the water horse, just by jumping on a horse doesn’t mean it suddenly loves you being there...)

The fifth spirit. Do I need to say anything else? All the fifth spirit stuff didn’t make sense and was totally useless in a movie that could have worked without. Honeymaren saying to Elsa that she belongs to the forest was... like... you BARELY know her, how do you know that? It was like they needed to have a reason to make her stay in the forest and “be free”? When she could just have given the crown to Anna that deserves it and being free... with her family? (her REAL family she needs not her mother’s tribe...)

Elsa and Anna abandoning their kingdom for the second time in two movies. Ok you did it to save Arendelle but, still. And after that people still complain about Hans not being a good leader? Again, not a big deal, but my girls... don’t do that often please.

Elsa’s journey. That’s a big no no for me. Did the writers of this movie watched the first one? Because she just seemed like a totally different character to me. I understand she grew up, and I could have accept that she wanted to be free, that it was her journey. But, again, it was not brightly written. In like the five first minutes of the movie, we are introduced to Elsa hearing voices and... that’s it. She hears voice. If it was supposed to be symbolic or her wanting to go for an adventure instead of having a boring like in Arendelle, well, that was absolutely not necessary. Why didn’t they show her not enjoying her life? Like doing queen’s tasks she doesn’t enjoy, talking to people that continue to judge her for her powers, showing that Anna is naturally a better leader than her. It could have been very interesting that even being that powerful, she still has flaws, visible flaws. The only thing we see is her life with her family, but if the message of the movie was that the sisters have to learn how to live separately, again it wasn’t clear AT ALL. And thinking that the message of the first movie was that love from your family can save you, it’s a quite weird message for a sequel in my opinion.

At the end of the movie she is supposed to be free... free from what? By not accepting herself? While we see her being so confident about herself during the ENTIRE movie (yeah she “died” at one moment but it just made her realize that Anna is strong enough to help her to, which is totally different from accepting her own flaws). She finally found the place she belongs... again... a forest? Because her mother come from here? ??? I don’t get this movie.

And finally... my biggest problem... the HUGE issue I have with this movie. The only thing I just can’t ignore. The thing that made me cringe to HARD during the ENTIRE MOVIE.

Why is nobody discussing Elsa’s parents attitude during the first movie?

DID THE WRITERS WATCH THEIR OWN DAWN FIRST MOVIE??? DID THEY?

Don’t get me wrong, I do think Elsa’s parents loved her. I do think they thought they were doing the right things for her and their other daughter. I do think they had the best intentions. I do things parents with good intentions can f*ck up their kids so badly it will follow them forever (well, not forever in the case of Elsa, because she is perfectly fine now as if the first movie never existed... mental health, not a big issue).

BUT WHAT THEY DID TO HER WAS WRONG.

To be honest I would have LOVED if Elsa’s arc was about understand and finally forgive her parents about what they did to her. It would even have made sense with her grandfather being a douch, convincing his son that magic is dangerous. It’s normal that Elsa and Anna love their parents, I mean, just because your parents did something wrong doesn’t mean that you won’t love them anymore. But all the “Let it go” song was about not listening to her restrictive parents anymore!! They erase her from her beloved sister’s memory and caused her terrible anxious issue that was basically THE PLOT OF THE FIRST MOVIE.

Elsa’s parents f*cked up EVERYTHING and you can’t change my mind. The fact that this is NEVER, not A SINGLE TIME, discussed in the entire movie was unbearable for me. And worst, the fact that they are shown as heroes really disturbed me. Again, I would not mind if this was the consequence of an all “redemption” arc for them, by Elsa finally understand her parents, why they wanted to restrict her true self (the f*cking thing she is singing about in “Show Yourself” with her MOTHER, yeah movie, that makes totally sense), why they thought it was the right thing to do when it wasn’t. Iduna’s being the voice Elsa hears could have been her wanting her daughter’s forgiveness and encouraging her to be 100% herself after years saying her not to be. But no.

The worst for me was the boat scene. So Elsa’s parents are the true heroes of the story, for some reason, AND they died because they wanted to help Elsa ? I swear, when Elsa started to feel guilty of their death I wanted to leave the theater so bad. AGAIN, if she had discovered that after an all movie being mad at them for restraining her true self for so long, it would have made sense. It could have help her understand that they did love her too, that they did wrong but wanted to help her in the end. Elsa could have grown from the bitterness of the past, and her thinking that she is so powerful she could do everything could have been her way of emancipation from her parents, when she finally learns that she still needs her sister's help.

This is all I see with Frozen II: a lost opportunity. A lost opportunity to have a better journey for Elsa, than just... being powerful, always powerful, being saved by her sister again and becoming a god-like powerful after that. A lost opportunity to show that good parents can be wrong thinking they are doing what’s right for their children. A lost of opportunity to show a character who wants to break free, not from something not even explicitly shown in the movie, but from the regrets of the past that we can all understand (because it was IN THE FIRST DAMN MOVIE).

A lost opportunity of a good sequel. Maybe Frozen II is a good movie, I don’t know, but it’s a really weird sequel in my opinion. The story makes no sense, the characters have really strange evolution, and some message are questionable. Again, I am really happy for you if you like it, and I even envy you for that. Waiting six years for a movie you almost wanted to leave the theater at, that’s harsh. I thought I was only going to be disappointed at Hans’ missing, but with all the plot holes and the weirdness of the story, I’m not even sure it would have been better with him anyway. Maybe you did dodge a bullet here, Hans...

So... fandom team. Whenever you liked the movie or not, like me, please let’s create some cool content. That’s what fandoms are made for and made off. I don’t want to leave the Frozen fandom, because I still like a lot of things about it. I am just sad this sequel was not worth the patience for me. I hope I didn’t make any Frozen II fans feel bad because of this post. I just wanted to share my thoughts. It took me hours but I needed to.

Now all I can say is: disappointed, but not surprised.

[araminakilla]

Again, almost nobody knows this movie or the franchise, but I found a really intriguing description of the third movie of Tadeo Jones:

https://letterboxd.com/film/tad-the-lost-explorer-and-the-mummys-curse/

"Tad would love for his archeologist colleagues to accept him as one of their own, but he always messes everything up. Tad accidentally destroys a sarcophagus and unleashes an ancient spell endangering the lives of his friends: Mummy, Jeff and Belzoni. With everyone against him and only helped by Sara, he sets off on an adventure that will take him from Mexico to Chicago and from Paris to Egypt, in order to put an end to the curse of the Mummy."

And before asking if the link is true and not fake, the answer is: I don't know BUT there was a case I remember about all the sinopsis of the second movie saying that Sara was kidnapped by an evil rich guy. That's it, those well known pages said he was a rich guy, but there was this little page I found (sorry I got no link of it) that said the evil rich guy's name was Jack Rackham. At first I didn't believe it until some months later where the new sinopsis said that was indeed his name. In conclusion, I take that plot of the third movie as official until proved wrong.

Today in this post I will analyse the sinopsis and give my opinion of it.

"Tad would love for his archeologist colleagues to accept him as one of their own, but he always messes everything up."

We start good with this. It's already confirmed that is the problem with Tadeo. I assume that he has graduated and become an archeologist by this point, and the plot makes it sound like the new guy trying to be with the cool kids of the group, but failing miserably because of him being clumsy or him breaking something, which leads us to...

"Tad accidentally destroys a sarcophagus and unleashes an ancient spell..."

No surprise here, I told you he is clumsy. This is interesting because the Spanish plot says he encounters an egyptian mummy, but this says he breaks her sarcophagus, if I were a mummy I would be pretty angry too, enough to put a curse on anyone who did that. But there's a catch, it says that it was an ancient spell, so it was planned for some poor unfortunate soul who is dumb enough to annoy a female mummy. If nobody knew about this curse until the lady mummy broke free I understand but if not, Tad... WHY WERE YOU EVEN TOUCHING THAT THING!? Ahem, sorry. Then there's this part:

"...endangering the lives of his friends: Mummy, Jeff and Belzoni."

First of all, it seems that the curse works only for the friends of the offender, not the tresspaser himself. Clever move, in my opinion. Some people say friends are your biggest treasure so maybe the egyptians mummies in this movie thought that if humans take away their material tresaures, they will take their emotional ones. But Sara is not affected, maybe because she wasn't there in the moment or because she was the damsel in distress in the second movie so I'm glad that she isn't in danger again.

As for Tad's friends, Jeff and Belzoni just happen to change heads in the concept art, making many pet shenanigans so they will be fine (unless their lifes are in danger if they don't make it in time and they eventualy die because they don't have their respective heads, but that's too dark for a family movie). I'm more worried about our Mummy, the Inca Mummy who not only he already has a curse imposed into him about 500 years ago, but now he gets ANOTHER ONE all because his best friend made a mistake. Talk about bad luck. But that's not all, he gets transformed into a well known monster in the egyptian pantheon. The creature devourer of souls called Ammit. This Godness (yeah, she's female... so Mummy is going to become one too?) is among the most feared monsters to the egyptians (she doesn't have wings but hey, wings are cool so nevermind that) It's possible that like what happened in the movie "Brave" with Elinor and Mordu, our Mummy will begin to lose his human side/soul (or what little he has) and become a heartless soul eater monster. This will be the life that is in more danger. He could lose the little he has of his humanity, that's just cruel and unfair!

Now we get to the best part:

"With everyone against him and only helped by Sara... "

Wait Wait WAIT. What is this? According to a concept art, Tad travels with Sara, the pets and both the Inca and Egyptian mummies. So what happened? Is this a spoiler to a part of the movie where Tad only has Sara's help? I mean, it's obvious that the lady mummy doesn't like the explorer but what happened to his friend/brother Mummy? I have many theories but those are the more possible:

1) He was influenced by the egyptian mummy to leave him and Sara: Maybe the lady is a female fatale and one of the antagonists of the movie (not the main one, that title goes to a human woman apparently) and convinces him that the humans will betray them and only they can lift the curse without anyone's help.

2) He begins to show a more animalistic side as the curse grows and decides to leave the group to protect them: Having little control over his body leaves Mummy powerless to stop himself from hurting his only friends and decides to leave them for the best, which only would make more conflict because great not only we have to arrive to Egypt before the third day or whatever, but now we have to add finding a leopard/hippo/cocodrile monster being to the list.

3) The Mummies are captured by the bad guys: And it's the job of Tad and Sara to free them before the curse becomes irreversible.

Or the most possible one:

4) Tad "betrays" Mummy and the monster leaves the explorer to find a way to lift the curse himself:

It's more likely that Tadeo wants to be a famous archeologist. The question is: How far he will go to archive this? What discoveries or secrets will he reveal to have the respect and admiration of his fellow archeologists?

I didn't think this before, but Tad is basically best friends/brothers with probably the most important and prized discovery of all time. How this fact is going to affect their friendship? Maybe Mummy starts to notice this, or maybe Tad exclaims without thinking "I wish you stayed in Paititi!" in front of the bad guys or other people. This will bring back the promise for the first movie and it's sure Mummy will leave Tadeo for a moment, because I'm sure he will be back somehow (this is Tadeo Jones, not The Fox and the Hound after all)

And the last part of the sinopsis:

"...he sets off on an adventure that will take him from Mexico to Chicago and from Paris to Egypt, in order to put an end to the curse of the Mummy."

Why Mexico if the Mummy in question is an egyptian? I have a theory: Ratings. Latinoamerica is the place where the Tad movies have more reception (good reception) and Mexico is the country that made a lot of money probably because Belinda dubs Sara. Other country is Peru because the first movie was about this place. So I think they want to please the Mexicans by showing their country but... Wasn't a better idea to have the mummy being an Aztecan? That way she would have more common things with the Inca mummy as both cultures ended with the Conquistadors (and Pizarro and Cortés were actually distant cousins, weird but true) but oh well they want to go the Egypt.

After Mexico we have Chicago, where Tad lives. I think they are going to the museum Tad went in the first movie to see his profesor friend.

So wait... Does that mean Incan Mummy and the lady Mummy are going to see all the frozen mummies in that exhibition? Wow, that's actually dark (but kind of hilarous if they both scream)

And finally we have Paris. I'm betting they are going there for the Louvre Museum which has the form of a pyramid. And Paris is know as the city of love which... Yeah... I can see this is where both mummies fall in love or something (I don't like this idea, it's very cliche but this is kind of a cliche franchise so... yeah)

About the bad guys and what they want... I have no idea, only that it's probably a woman.

And that's all I got for this sinopsis. Again, I'm sure everyone will scroll over this but I wanted to get all of this out of my head.

I'm glad that Tad's Mummy is going to become a very, very important character in this third movie according to one of the directors, so that means he's going to become more than just some "comic relief"

[azaffranist]

To think that Frozen 2 could've been so DARK. You think that kids would be psychologically damaged if Elsa had actually died, having grown emotionally attached to her over the past six years?

First off, sorry about the delay anon! I researched some more information about the topic before tackling this ask.

I was hoping the documentary would maybe give a little insight into this to understand those endings better, but sadly (and unsurprisingly) they didn’t. I wouldn’t expect them to talk about Elsa’s death because that’s scandalous, but at least I expected them to talk about A Place of Our Own, a scene and a concept that got cut late into development. So late, it’s actually in the Frozen 2 artbook. I’m not gonna go full conspiracy theorist because that’s pointless, but we know for sure they decided not to talk about the most controversial topics like Arendelle’s destruction or Hard Nokks. Which is understandable, but I’m not entirely too happy with that, lol.

I actually got new information about F2′s original/early plots. So far, I haven’t been able to find the link to the source (will definitely update the post if I do): allegedly, a storyboard artist called Jeff Ranjo, who also worked in F1, said in an animation symposium around early 2019 that he found the original script of F2 to be so dark that he couldn’t take it anymore and therefore left the team. His name is in the ending credits because he had worked for a while on the movie before quitting.

Jeff Ranjo is not some random dude. Jeff Ranjo is the artist behind pieces such as this. I’m sure everyone recognizes this unique artstyle.

Nevertheless, I haven’t found the source. It’s not easy to, because I’m not sure what animation symposium it was. There’s tons of them, and it’s something that he happened to mention, as it wasn’t focused on Frozen 2. So we’ll take this for now with a grain of salt, and I hope to update in the future if this is confirmed real or not.

But - it is good to consider when we’re talking about this, and it ties in with what we’ve talked about. Frozen 2′s original plot most likely was, according to multiple sources not related to each other, dark. And we know why. 

As for your question (wow that took a long time!) I’m glad you asked it because it’s something that we haven’t discussed much. I think it would’ve simply been devastating. For a multitude of reasons. Something to note before going into detail, though, is to establish what we mean by “Elsa’s death” - some of the information we got points to her dying but in some versions, her presence would still be represented by the Unity Snowflake (with a chance to come back in a third movie). I don’t know what you guys think but that doesn’t scream “alive” to me. That’s... kind of dead with a touch of magic. So keep that in mind when I’m talking about dead Elsas.

Kids wouldn’t have taken it well. Most adults would’ve sort of... accepted it. But I know we as fans wouldn’t have taken it well, either. These characters are important to us. They’re role models. They represent the struggle many of us have gone through. And Elsa is one of the most relevant characters when it comes to that. Her powers in the first movie resonated with all sorts of people, because at the end of the day, they were a metaphor that we were free to interpret however we want. Mental illness, queerness, disability, being “different” - you name it. What’s vital is that because of this, all sorts of people connected with Elsa. And seeing her die would’ve hurt. A lot.

And well, it’s obvious that kids would’ve been deeply hurt by this. The younger audience already didn’t enjoy Elsa vs Nokk. They didn’t like at all when Elsa froze. And something interesting to note, the final version toned this all down a little bit. Elsa’s freezing and thawing was originally accompanied by a much, much sadder soundtrack. They removed Elsa’s last breath, maybe in an attempt to make her death feel less “final”. We know shots in the Dark Sea fight were cut and this is painfully apparent in the last movie. Here’s what I’m talking about.

So, if the movie was modified down to removing Elsa’s last breath as to not upset kids (kids were, unsurprisingly, still upset by it) just imagine what would’ve happened if Elsa didn’t come back. Sure, apparently there was gonna be a snowflake, but... that doesn’t scream alive to me, again.

The merch would’ve flopped. What kid would want the doll of a dead character for Christmas? And we’re sleeping on the fact that Olaf was not gonna come back as a consequence, either. In terms of popularity with kids, Elsa is obviously number one, especially among girls. Olaf is number two, and boys’ favorite.

So, yes. It would’ve been devastating. If Anna had died in F1, while it would’ve hurt lots, it wouldn’t have hurt as much, because it’s the first movie of a franchise that’s just starting out. But F2 is the sequel to a movie that was showered in love and that received 2 shorts thanks to its popularity. As you said, kids (and adults too!) got attached to these characters over the span of six years. And to see them die would’ve been soul crushing. I know plenty of kids would’ve grieved them as if they were a real person. In fact, I would have too.

Were they gonna die, like, absolutely, 100% permanently, and not come back ever? No, I don’t think so. In fact they were probably setting up F3. Yes, it’s true it wasn’t gonna happen right after F2 - but after F2′s huge monetary success, I’m not afraid to say that I would see it happening soon. 2 years from now, 3, 4 even. But definitely not six. The reason F2 took so long is because F1 was supposed to be standalone movie, but it was so well received it got a sequel. That’s how things work in this world. If it brings money, Disney will try to milk it.

But that doesn’t change the fact F2 seemed like it was gonna end with a not-very-alive Elsa and a definitely-dead Olaf. This would’ve led to people being furious, sad, but I don’t doubt some would sort of like it for being different. What I think, though, is that because this ending seemed to be planned with much more anticipation, the plot’s quality would’ve been better. That’s something you just sort of deduce by logic, honestly.

Elsa and Olaf dying would’ve hurt people. I really wish to know exactly how it went, because execution matters. Some things sound one way on paper but feel completely different onscreen because of the execution. And I hope we learn the truth one day.

[thelittlehansy]

Why i ship hanna...

Before starting wanted to say that i have not been always a hanna shipper but a kind of kristanna shipper and i had a period when i was " hans is the best villain ever" " best twist ever" "please hanna shipper stop seing him as misunderstood" " a redemption ? No no no no no he is EVIL he is a villain" "please stop with your troll theory bullshit even if it does makes sense i😄😄

I was the whole contrary of an hanna shipper but then i began to stop to have my very evil version of hans and feel it was too force and view things differently and start ship them so the fact that i didnt found a lot of idea about kristanna trying to imagine fanfic lead also to ship more hanna.

1- Love is an open door

They were Absoluty cute during love is an open door

2-interesting and unique relationship to me

this is the key point of what i ship them they have a past , an history together and the thing is that after everything that happened between them i feel like they are material to work it. I dont see "he left anna to die and try to kill elsa as a end hans character is not set in stone. So Really good potential for interesting relationship development with a lot of story and also drama lot of drama 😄 Explore them as enemis, rival , ex , frenemis , but also try to exlore hans remorse anna discovering hans . Explore redemption and also deep friendship this is all of that all this potential that make me ship them lovers to enemis , enemis to friend , friend to lovers. So basically to me they have an unique and interesting relationship that leave a lot of material to work with.

3- a frozen heart

As much as people would like to consider a frozen heart not canon it is canon to the franchise , and the only place where we have information about hans. They had oportunity do not confirm the book but they decided to do nothing with him and product a short bd who confirm a frozen heart. And in the book it is reveal hans is not an evil person and he dont hate anna he enjoy his time during the coronation but was obsess by his wish to be king.

4-ambigious feeling

Hans feeling are left ambigious in the movie due to the bad writing the only moment we have hans alone he is smiling with a lovestruck smile at anna who is not watching him so there was a moment where he does have like the princess at the beginning. Of course after we have the oh anna if only there was someone out there who loved you quote. But we just cant say hans hates and dont like anna from the start.

5- similiarities

They have similiarities painful sibling past , they are both extraverti who feel they are just spare "this is just me" anna when she meet hans they have leader abilities and both make great leader. Both are crazy on different level yes 😄 and both had lonely childhood due to their sibling rejecting them. Both love food ?🤔😄

6- chemistry

Chemistry i do find they have good chemistry in love is an open door that they can still have.

7-Mental synchronisation 😃

8-Sliding in socks in corridor 😃

9-Finishing each other sandwiches 😃

Who say they cant do that but while insulting each other like ex 😅

10-They are physical together in love or in hate so they totally are confortable in each others presence.😄

So i will just as last word ship them or not ship them i just find their relationship very interesting.🙂

[l-egionaire]

Queer Platonic Elsa and Anna evidence.

So, after making my first post about the possibility of Elsa and Anna being Queerplatonic, I went and did some reading on Queerplatonic relationships, talked to some tumblr users who better understood the topic and even read some fanfiction that portrayed the topic. While I still don’t think I’m an expert, I do feel I can say that Elsa and Anna might have a relationship like this. So, I’m going to give some evidence. But before I do, I want to provide a definition of what a queerplatonic relationship is for those who don’t know. It’s defined as

“a relationship which is more intense and intimate than is considered common or normal for a "friendship", but doesn't fit the traditional sexual-romantic couple model. It is characterized by a strong bond, love, and emotional commitment, yet is not perceived by those involved as "romantic". The relationship may or may not have some elements or degree of sexuality/eroticism at various times, or none - it doesn't matter, because sexuality/sexual exclusivity is not what the relationship is organized around. It's defined by the intensity and significance of the emotional connection.

The people involved do not have to identify as "queer", it's a type of relationship experienced by and available to anybody regardless of their sexual orientation, romantic orientation, or (non-)monogamy. The people involved in a queerplatonic relationship may consider themselves partners, life-partners, a couple, a triad, or any other term that implies the relationship is meaningful, committed and intimate.”

While I don’t feel that they’d classify their relationship as this way due to the term not existing in their point in history, I do feel it fits them well. So, I’m going to provide some evidence that pertains to other facts about queerplatonic relationships and correlate that with things about Elsa and Anna’s relationship.

1. Queerplatonic relationships are often the most important ones in the persons life.

In a queerplatonic relationship, a persons relationship with their queerplatonic partner is the most important, even more than romantic ones. And that’s very clear with Elsa and Anna. Anna loves Elsa more than anything else and Elsa loves Anna more than anything. Anna does have a relationship with Kristoff and while, it’s not any less important or strong, it’s clear that Elsa comes first to Anna. While it wouldn’t be easy to just break things off with Kristoff, If Anna had to choose between him or Elsa, you know she’d choose her sister. Because she’s who she loves the most.

2. Queerplatonic partners have a level of emotional and sometimes physical intimacy beyond what most people would consider normal.

Intense Emotional and physical intimacy can be signs of a queerplatonic relationship. They have a close emotional bond with one another different than the bond usually common with friends. They are also sometimes very physically affectionate. Things like hand-holding, snuggling, cuddling, hugging and occasionally even kissing can be part of that. Elsa and Anna are extremely emotionally and physically close. They are each other’s most trusted person and confidante. They share things with each other they wouldn’t share with anyone else, even significant others. They have an intense and powerful love that I personally feel transcends even familial affection. And as for physical affection, in many of the shorts and things they are often seen hugging, holding hands, and just being in extremely close proximity. While this might not seem odd for them being sisters, it’s still clear they are extremelly comfortable with physical intimacy with each other.

3. Queerplatonic Partners often plan their lives around each other.

Partners in a queer romantic relationship will feel their relationship is so strong, they don’t wish to be separated and usually plan their lives so that their partner is still with them. I feel this specifically pertains to Anna. Though she expresses a clear desire to escape her loneliness and the pain of her past, she has no desire to leave Arendelle or her sister. If she gets married, she lives in the palace and you can tell when Elsa tells her to leave that she doesn’t want to do that. She even is willing to die for her because for her life without Elsa means nothing. And the same is true vice versa. Elsa has no desire to live without Anna.

4. Queerplatonic relationships are often seen as romantic.

People in Queerplatonic relationships can occasionally act so close that they are seen as being in a romantic relationship. Elsa and Anna’s interactions throughout the movies and other media is often seen as being a sign that they have romantic feelings for one another. Indeed, some romantic tropes are used in regards to their relationship. Even people who see their relationship as being platonic describe them as being soulmates and indeed, that’s how some queerplatonic partners would describe their significant other, as their soulmate or their other half.

5. Queerplatonic Relationships are common among asexuals.

Queerplatonic relationships, while not limited by sexuality, are common among asexuals as replacements or substitutes for romantic relationships. While it may not be canon, many fans of the Frozen franchise perceive queen Elsa as being asexual. It could be easy to see the queen forgoing any sort of attempt at romance and instead choosing to be solely with her sister.

6. Conclusion

Now, I know some of you reading might have still have one question: can siblings have a queerplatonic relationship? Well.....I don’t know. The sources I’ve found usually focus on talking about friends and the people I’ve asked all say they don’t quite know whether that term can be applied to a relationship between siblings, BUT I did find an analysis about the brothers from Supernatural through the lense of a queerplatonic relationship and I feel some of those ideas could apply to Elsa and Anna. I’ve also read a piece of fanfiction where the premise-Elsa and Anna forgoing romantic or sexual relationships to be with each other- is somewhat similar to the concept and can be found at this URL:

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11667496/6/

Once again, while I’ve done some reading on the subject and talked about it with other people, If anyone more knowledgable on the topic feels inclined to say anything, please go ahead, i’d want to make sure I’m not offending anyone or misrepresenting the idea. But I felt I just wanted to present this evidence to the idea.

[t-tyrants]

FRIENDS NOW :)

Wrote a lil creepypasta based on the two pictures I drew of Zipper.  I haven’t written any pastas in a while so I hope u enjoy!

Like almost everyone on twitter, I too have spent my quarantine time playing the new animal crossing. It has been a really good distraction from the chaos of the panicking world. It was probably the only thing keeping my mental health from jumping off a cliff. While I am only 24, I still was part of the at risk group. Having a weak heart, I have had to be very careful of my own health fo my whole life. I didn’t really want to die right now, so I’ve been mulled up in my flat, getting paranoid over every cough. The only thing that had been keeping me from overthinking is animal crossing.

Making friends with the animals visiting my island had been my main focus. No critter was allowed to leave my humble abode without having all their dreams and hopes fulfilled. Some of my favorites were Mischka, Raymond and Lolly. What can I say, I like cats? Of course, I visited some of my real friends’ islands too. But while I could do most of my work home office style in a few hours, many of them didn’t have that privilege. Lizzy was out there, saving lifes, Matt was getting yelled at by customers and I was just sitting on my ass, playing video games. Sometimes I felt bad about it. Sometimes I was simply thankful. They were all very tired but they still took some time out of their life to check in with me. After all this would be over, I would try to make it up to them. 

Still, all I could do now was talk to animals, get some peaches, catch some fishes and draw new clothes. Day in, day out. It started to feel like routine. So when the easter special event started, I was hyped. Sure, those were pretty much the same game mechanics as before but i was way more interested in the elusive Zipper T. Bunny himself. I have had never played an animal crossing game before so I wasn’t aware that he was a part of the game. I had spent hours finding eggs all around the island just to get a few dialog lines from that weird bunny. Of course, I was pretty sure that this wasn’t a bunny. The big zipper, the unmoving eyes, the forced happiness - whoever was under this suit was doing a job and would prefer to be at home. 

But that wouldn't stop me. I tried talking to him again and again in hopes of getting a new line of dialog. Still, I knew it was a game. I knew that Zipper wouldn't just get out of his head and show me his real self. But I was convinced that there had to be some sort of easter egg for the curious players. There had to be. I had spend so much time working for the easter event, I didn’t even notice that the real deal was getting closer too. 

I woke up gasping for air from a nightmare I forgot just as quickly. Looking at the alarm clock, I could see it was 2:54 AM, Sunday. It was easter. I got out of bed, there was no use trying to fall asleep now. Instead, I walked to my couch and turned the switch on. Getting comfy between the couch cushions, I walked up to Zipper. “Happy Easter,” I chimed into the darkness of my flat. I didn’t talk to Zipper, I just stood next to him, as all of a sudden, I could feel tears in the corners of my eyes. The game had been a great distraction but now, at 3 am, it all came crashing down on me. 

I was lonely, I was stressed, I was afraid. 

And all I could do is play a game and run after a rabbit. 

“Aren’t you tired?” A dialog prompt. I rubbed the tears from my eyes and looked up. “Not really,” I sighed as I answered with ‘No’. “Why?” Zipper asked. Now this was something different. “You are very persistent. Don’t you have anything else to do?” I leaned closer to the TV as I pressed ‘No’ again. Zipper was finally talking. This was what I had hoped for all this time. “You aren’t going to stop bothering me?” Ha, you wish. I pressed ‘No’. Zipper T. Bunny turned towards me. Not my character. But me, behind the TV screen. He grabbed my character’s hand. They just stood there, quietly looking towards me, swaying a tiny bit with the wind. They looked so cute. What a cute thing to include in the game. Now if I only could get to photo-mode… 

“What do you want from me?” The dialog field was unexpected. Instead of three options, a keyboard popped up. This was my chance. I started typing frantically. “Who are you? Why do you wear a suit? What do you do when you aren’t working for this easter event? Who are you really? Can we be friends?” The keyboard disappeared. I hadn’t even pressed ‘send’. How strange. The game stopped. Nothing moved. No more music. Did I break it? Mashing all buttons, nothing happened. Before I could get up, a dialog field popped up. “Do you really want to know who I am?” I pressed my back into the couch. ‘Yes.’ “Do you really want to be friends?” Holy shit. “Of course,” I called out while pressing ‘Yes’ again. 

The dialog disappeared again and all was quiet. All but a weird buzzing. As it grew louder, suddenly the TV started to flicker. Was it breaking right now? I was uncovering the most interesting, literal easter egg and my TV wanted to destroy it all for me? 

The screen turned red. The green, lively island was gone, replaced by some weird, red mush. But Zipper T. Bunny and my character were still standing there. Still, they too had changed. I stared, mesmerized. His head was gone. The bunny suit head. But beneath it… was nothing. Just empty air. At the neck, red liquid left the suit, dirtying the otherwise radiant yellow. I was so intrigued by this change which was entirely inappropriate for a children's game, I hadn’t even looked at my character. It’s pupils were gone and blood had started pouring out of her eyes, nose and mouth. 

Now, I was searching for some sort of easter egg but this was too much. Who would even put something like this into animal crossing? What if a small child stumbled across this? This would traumatize them and ruin a whole video game franchise and pobably stuffed animals for them. Maybe even the whole concept of eastern. 

As I wanted to get up and take my phone to document this mess, I could feel it all of a sudden. Cold breath hit my neck. Cold breath, followed by even colder hands that crawled over my shoulders. I froze, unable to even move my eyes from the display. I could feel the icy nails scrap over my skin, seemingly carefully not to draw blood. My whole back was covered in goosebumps. “So….” The voice was raspy and deep. “Do you really wanna be friends?” I had to suppress the urge to laugh nervously. This was really happening. The bunny suit on TV was twitching. The hands slowly wandered up to my neck. “Of course,” the words left my mouth all of a sudden. The hands stopped. “Are you sure?” Relieved that my neck was still untouched, I decided to go all in. “Absolutely. That’s why I tried talking so much to you before.”

Silence. The whole room seemed frozen. It felt like hours had passed when the voice returned. “So you really had fun with the easter event?” The voice sounded softer and quieter. “Yes,” my voice was quivering too. “Would you mind… if I stick around even when easter is over?” There was a lot of sadness in his voice. For a split second, I felt like the two of us were just the same. Lonely, stressed, afraid. 

“You can stay as long as you want to,” I said, driven by this realisation, only to regret it right away. I didn’t know what I just agreed to. I should have asked questions. But as soon as the words had left my mouth, the hands were lifted from my shoulders and the cold breathe disappeared. I was still stuck in place, frozen. 

I didn’t know how much time had passed but it felt like I was woken up again when the music started playing from the TV again. I looked up, it was all back to normal. My island was back, my character looked as always and Zipper T. Bunny, head and all, was turned towards them. There was a dialog box open. As I read it, I didn’t know what to feel at all. Was I scared? Happy? Confused? All I knew was that I should get back to bed. I quickly shut off the switch and walked up to my bed. As i hid beneath the covers, pressing my eyes closed, trying to fall asleep, Zipper’s last words just wouldn’t leave my head. “FRIENDS NOW :)” 

When I woke up a few hours later, the flat seemed to be frozen. Absentmindedly I ran up to my heater, trying to get some warmth into these rooms. It was already put on the highest setting. I walked up to my kitchen window and opened it. I was expecting to see snow with this temperature but outside, it was warm. I kept the window open as I turned around to look for clues. Not sure what to do, I decided to check up on animal crossing again. Starting the game, there was nothing pointing towards last night's weird occurrence. Talking to Zipper, he was back to his old tunes and none of the villagers seemed to be changed either. I was nearly convinced that this was a bad dream, when i opened up the album and saw a new pictures. 

Staring back at me from the TV was Zipper T. Bunny holding my hand, head missing with a crude smile drawn over the empty space.

With tired eyes, I smiled back the picture. It was comforting in a strange way. Somehow, the flat felt less empty now. 

Just a little colder. 

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Digging through the archives 1: The ReBoot drama

Hello and welcome to one of the first “subsections” of posts I am going to make on this tumblr for the sake of an easier overview. This one is titlted “Digging through the archives”, because it will always relate to something I will find by literally looking for some of the oldest “opinion” or personal related stuff about Dobson that there is. So think of this here less as me tackling his comics and more of my own version of what the Hypocrisy of Andrew Dobson does.

With that explanation out of the way, lets just briefly talk about Dobson and his idea of fan entitlement; If you have followed Dobson throughout the last year or so, you know he has a very low opinion on fans of the original She-Ra and He-Man, 80s cartoons in general and Star Wars, to the point he thinks the people behind it are all potential alt righters (link red flag comic) or basically man children.

 To anyone who knows Dobson however, it would be no surprise now to learn that he has a tendency to be the same kind of way to other people and creators. Like when he whined to an actual writer on a Frozen related property about the necessity of giving Elsa a girlfriend, which even resulted in Aaron Sparrow being involved at one point, a professional animator and comic writer on the Boom Comics related Darkwing Duck issues. A prime example on how Dobson will literally make himself also unsympathetic to the people he wants to work for/with.

 But then there is what I found in relation to a little animated series by the name of ReBoot and that is really where both his entitlement and egotism kinda shine.

For those unaware: ReBoot was a computer animated adventure show produced by Mainframe Entertainment and ran from 1994 to 2001. It is actually listed as the first fully computer animated cartoon out there and is fondly remembered by a lot of people. Unfortunately, I myself have never watched it so I can’t give a “valid” opinion on it. All I have seen so far are clips on youtube but I will admit that what I have seen in them looks fun and intriguing, even if the animation at parts (especially in season 1 related content) has not aged that well. But hey, early computer animation, that is forgivable. And any media that manages to make an episode that is also in a way a huge tribute to Evil Dead of all things in a children cartoon is a big win for me.

Now, how is ReBoot connected to Dobson? Dobson has been a fan of ReBoot, a fact he made publicly known when in 2007 rumors of a continuation of ReBoot emerged. Something Dobson, again, the man who is pissed about the entitlement of She-Ra fans, has not been very happy about.

But Dobson, what is so wrong about being “different” from the past? After all, let the past die! The original show had terrible artwork! And not everything back in the day was good, right?

 Yeah, it is pretty obvious how his complaining and stands against “modern” fans ring pretty hollow when he himself acted as the entitled brat he thinks critics of new She-Ra and Thundercats Roar are, back in 2007 already. Also I honestly feel that at the very least the creators of that idea gave their fans still more “control” than Rian Johnson did. And we all know how much Star Wars suffered in terms of reputation because of it.

BTW, this webcomic continuation mentioned? It is actually not just a rumor that went nowhere, but one of the most fascinating aspects I found when reading up on ReBoot via Wikipedia. The idea was that of the five potential pitches (so again, there was variety given that even could have been expanded on) people could choose one that would be further adapted. Additionally the people behind the idea were looking for more active input by fans, giving people the chance to apply as artists working on it if they decided to submit samples people could vote on. Something Dobson jumped actually on. And tried to manipulate in his own favor

 The thing that catches my attention at first is how hyperbole Dobson is. Claiming the fate of the show is in their hands and treating voting on this thing like it’s a live or die situation, with pointlessly writing stuff in caps as if we are reading the headline of some trashy newspaper article. It just comes off less as someone who is a fan and more of a fanatic of the show. Second, I just find it hilarious that of all the plattforms online Dobson decided to post that “VERY IMPORTANT” information people should act immediately on, was deviantart. Did he genuinely expect people would flock to what he wrote in order to immediately do something about the vote? Deviantart even back then was mostly for posting fanart, few people read journals and even less people cared for ReBoot. I don’t know if the /co/ board of 4chan existed back in 2007 already, but he would have had more success posting on there and get the information out, than on dA.

 Lastly, the shameless self promotion. Stating he does not care which pitch wins, when only three day prior he whined how they all suck and he wishes the show would be done justice by someone. That someone obviously being him, the person who is so hardcore as a fan, because he already waited 8 years just to watch season 3. Damned be any other artists or pitches that may be better or more popular than him, HE is the true messiah and that is his chance to shine. So don’t be “neutral” and judge fairly based on actual competence, talent and effort, just vote for him blindly or else Trump wins the second term and your beautiful nation turns into the fourth rei- I mean,  Dobson will be a very sad guy who has come to terms with the fact he is not talented enough to work on a reboot/continuation of his favorite children show.

Well, it seemed to have had some impact though, as four day later he posted this

 And obviously Dobson is pissed his favorite pitch did not win and instead of being grateful for the good ratings some of his artwork got he focuses instead on the fact that his Enzo and Megabyte pic had the lowest rating. Which in my opinion it kinda deserved. I mean, look at those artpieces:

Enzo is okayish looking but the rest? That is not Megabyte and a genuine background, it is a cola light version of the entire Ripley disaster with the Samus Artwork commission. Also, Enzo’s hands just look weird. His fingers more alien than they need to be and the position of his legs not really adjusting to how the hip is supposed to move. The comic sample page that Dobson drew being okay overall, aside of the fact that Enzo in one panel HAS FOUR INSTEAD OF FIVE FINGERS ON ONE HAND DESPITE HAVING FIVE FINGERS IN A PREVIOUS PANEL. I am also not really a fan of how Dobson puts emphasize on the word “FAN” and “PAGES” in the post, indicating he thinks he is a better and bigger fan than any of the people who submitted their entries too, off handedly praising them but also making it obvious he thinks he is the most fit for the job, because he can also “copy any artstyle” and adjust to the needs of his superiors. Yeah, sure. That’s why you are nowadays and with even more time and effort put into your work so “good” at imitating Ladybug, your comics look exactly like in the show…

 Now considering that Dobson does not have ReBoot under his resume and likely tried his best to bury any enthusiasm for it, you can imagine how this chance at being an official artist ended up.

 Not even much of a follow up or introspective in why he may have not won. His enthusiasm died within two days.

And honestly, I am surprised that as a result he did not fake depression and rage quit doing comics for a month or so as he did here and there.

And that is pretty much the end of the ReBoot drama, at least as far as I know.

If you are interested what happened with the comic project, here is what I managed to gather:

The project did actually not die in development, but “ReBoot: Arrival” would be reimagined under the name “Code of Honour” and be published online in three “issues” over the course of the next few months. The comic’s status as “canon” continuation of the show is however very much in the air, as quite a lot of people think it is something of a fanfiction, others think it is a good enough continuation that unfortunately still does not deliver on an “ultimate” ending of the franchise. That said, with additional plans like a movie trilogy never been realized and the “reboot” known as “ReBoot: The Guardian Code” having been perceived as an insult by fans and a disappointment by most audiences (which Dobson was surprisingly silent about) this comic seems to be the best thing fans can still hope for and read.

Yeah, I am not even kidding. The comic is still up. Here, have two links to independent pages if you want to either read it for the first time or revisit it for the sake of nostalgia.

As for Dobson, if he reads this, I just have one thing to say to you: Don’t you ever again try to whine about how entitled fanboys are, if you felt entitled enough yourself you tried to manipulate a competition in your own favor in the hope to become a writer and then exploit ReBoot for your own agenda and benefit.

[galaxygolfergirl]

Well jesus...

The Helsa fandom’s dying, everyone’s unhappy about what Frozen 2 could have been, and all of this happened while I was gone?

*sigh*

Well, it’s not like I didn’t see this coming. Even though I’d strongly hoped for 6 long years, I could sort of feel it was all wishful thinking. I mean, what did I expect? Disney has been pulling all their punches and churning out lukewarm pop culture fodder for the past few years, I don’t see anyone willing to take any risks. Listen, I still adore Helsa with all of my heart and will continue to make fan art of them for the sake of the fans. However, I’ll still be disappointed at the missed opportunities and timidity on the writer’s part. This isn’t tearing me up, I can move on, yet I am very disappointed.

But hey, if E.L James can make shitty fanfiction about Twilight and have THAT turn into a million dollar movie franchise, why can’t we? We can make our own damn Helsa and forget all the childish absurdity of the fandom. Most of us have grown up now but still have very strong feelings and ideas about these characters; there are so many stories we’ve come up with over the past few years. If Disney’s not going to do it, why not us? Who says Helsa has to die with Frozen?

I’ll go start on that shitty fanfiction.

@disneysfrozenguy @lynea-kureji @asaturninegirlspassion @bookishdruid @nap-hime @blue-pixiedust @jg-omniaart @whatlomalikes

[frankie-catfish-morales]

Okay. My issues & fave things for Frozen 2 - Masterpost.

Spoilers and negativity beyond the cut. But also positivity! Cause I did like some things.

- The Negatives - 

1. I have serious qualms about the notion that Elsa doesn’t feel like she “belongs” in Arendelle. With her sister. And the family they built. The reason for this is simple. Every single piece of canon that has ever been produced by this franchise has said otherwise. They were separated 10 years (ish). They never wanted to be apart again. As recently as TWO YEARS ago (probably not that long in the movie timeline) Disney produced a short emphasizing their built family, and how home is wherever Anna is. Olaf gets lost in the woods, the wilderness, and they have to go find him because they all belong together. Elsa shows literally no interest in the woods nor being in the wilderness. She then proceeds to sing “When We’re Together” with Anna, and sings this TO Anna:

It frankly feels to me like they forgot what this franchise was all about and the foundations that they have been building it on. Elsa and Anna. Together. The way they have written these characters, to me, is not convincing that they would EVER wish to separate. 

You can argue to me that “Elsa isn’t that far away”. Yes, that is true. She could ice luge down the hill and see Anna and the fam. But you know what else wasn’t that far away? Elsa’s room. Separate is separate. Living with someone with no shut doors and not living with someone but visiting sometimes is not the same. And the characters have stated several times across four releases of visual media and COUNTLESS Disney produced merch that they do not wish to separate. Ever. It’s not just how it has been written.

Now,  I can understand the idea that they were trying to communicate that Elsa was feeling unfulfilled, but it is 100% contradictory with every other piece of literature about this story they have put out, so to me, it made no sense character arc wise. It  was too sudden for it to come up right now, rushed in an opening song for the final movie. Olaf’s Frozen Adventure didn’t come out that long ago, so to me this feels like a complete 180. 

Perhaps what they were trying to say in this movie is that if Elsa didn’t leave, Anna would never allow herself to have a fucking life. You can see this possibly in the scene where Anna leaves with Kristoff without saying anything, and trying to insist on coming with Elsa even if it’s pretty clear she would be in serious danger. You can also see this a bit in the lyrics to “The Next Right Thing”:

“I follow you around I always have But you've gone to a place I cannot find”

“I don't know anymore what is true I can't find my direction, I'm all alone The only star that guided me was you How to rise from the floor When it's not you I'm rising for?” 

Anna does put Elsa before anyone and anything else, even herself. But if THAT is what they are trying to say, they are basically saying Anna and Elsa’s relationship is and has been toxic, or having toxic qualities, and that’s really saying fucked up shit about the whole franchise. Especially because there are so many fans out there who really connected with that aspect of Frozen.

2. I am, quite frankly, really TIRED of the trope that powerful magical women *can’t* be queens. Because they don’t “belong”, because they are “out of touch”, because they need to leave, they need to die (*cough* Daenerys Targaryen), or that they were “mad” or not good for society. That their strength is too much for them to be in society or be a queen. I think it’s quite empowering that Elsa feels free, but I do not like the concept that she couldn’t feel free and be a good queen. That she abdicated and basically rolled out, extremely rushed and in a moment where a lot was already happening. It’s like her being queen in the first place wasn’t even important. And no, she is NOT queen of the Northumbra (I will go into this assertion in my next bulletpoint).  You aren't just automatically queen of something when you aren't coronated or acknowledged by who you are ruling as such in any fashion.  I highly doubt the Native population would make some white girl they just met their queen. Elsa stepped down, and she is now a liaison between the enchanted forest and Arendelle. She’s an ambassador, and Anna is now Queen. Which, if we took the implications out of it, would be fine. I don’t dislike Anna. She’s grown so much, she’d be a wonderful queen. I just think Elsa should still be queen. Elsa can still be a liaison between the realms. Who better to be queen than a woman who is a liaison and has the interests of Arendelle, the Enchanted Forest, and the elements? You can tell me “She didn’t want to be Queen!” as much as you want, but lets get really into the facts here. She suddenly “didn’t want to be queen” because she was written that way. It could have been written differently and would have been in character.

It bothered me so much that Disney Parks thought it was a good idea for the face characters in the parks to come out in the final outfits literally ONE DAY before the movie came out. I had this plot aspect spoiled to me (and I’m not in the spoiler culture but that was a really big plot point to spoil so lets get real here, I’m allowed to be upset) because people posted pictures of Anna in her crown with the tags # Queen Anna, before the movie was even released. I immediately didn’t like it, but I wanted to try and stay positive that it would be convincing, but it honestly just continued to rub me wrong. It feels like they were trying to get cheap “YAS KWEEN” moments for both the Elsa fandom and the Anna fandom, and I felt like it was empty and unnecessary. Anna is a badass regardless. She didn’t need that for a “YAS KWEEN” moment. She has quite a few incredible, powerful, and strong AF moments. I  love her without that.

3. I mentioned in point 2 that “Elsa is not queen of the Northumbra.” The reason I mentioned that is because a friend of mine thought that and was confused. Which brings me to my 3rd point. The mythology and plot that they constructed for this movie was extremely confusing, didn’t explain enough, and had too many plot-holes. That friend and a few of the people she saw the movie with thought Queen Iduna was Queen of the Northumbra. She wasn’t. Another thought she had wind powers. She doesn’t. She was just playing in the wind elemental when Agnarr saw her.

Some more questions:

Did literally none of the Northumbra know their chief was murdered?! Why wasn’t that ever brought up if they did now, and if they didn’t, why didn’t they remember? 

How did the kingdom of Arendelle not realize what sea Queen Iduna and King Agnarr were sailing to? Why would this have never come up before? Oh, Anna and Elsa, your parents were on the way to Rapunzel’s wedding or Tarzan world, but then turned around and set sail on this completely separate, very dangerous sea and we never told you. This, to me, is why the movie was poorly written, no one has any fucking idea what actually happened in some scenes.

4. Speaking of Queen Iduna, if she is Northumbra, and she is used to being around elemental magic ALL THE TIME, why did she react to Elsa’s powers at first the way she did? Why did she interpret the troll’s advice the way she did? WHy did she support and enable Elsa’s father shutting her up and away when she know’s first hand the elementals were good and what those powers could do? 

And like the whole movie was supposed to be why Elsa had magic and I still have no idea. That was not explained well. She's the 5th element? Ice isn't an element. Ice is water. If she’s an element, is she going to die? Or when Anna dies is she going to live forever as an elemental-human hybrid wandering the woods sobbing like Arwen Undomiel was cautioned of? Is it was because her mom saved her dad, linking the two nations? Her good deed gave her power? Like Harry Potter? Okay, but why ice specifically. Anna said that Elsa was “the last piece”. But of what? Of the elements? Again, ice isn’t an element. Ice is water. Water was covered. Was it because she had to right the wrong of the grandfather building the dam and killing the chief of Northumbra? But Anna destroyed the dam with the elementals. Was it so she could find out the truth about what happened? She could have done that without ice powers. Why was it ice? What was the significance of the cave Alhalla (Alhambra?)? Why could she only find out the answers there? Why are we supposed to believe Elsa wants to routinely hang out in a secluded ice cave that is a huge downgrade from her awesome ice castle instead of being with her sister? Is it cause her mother is there? Who is family? So why can’t she lie with Anna, her other family, and visit the cave when she wishes?

The concept of elements and Elsa having some sort of relationship to it, the IDEA is so good, I just was seriously disappointed in how it was executed. I think the only explanation we have here is: “the spirits gave her her powers to unite everyone." And that wasn’t enough for me. WHY ICE THO. 5. I did not, at all, in any way, like when Elsa saw that memory of her singing “Let It Go” and was like, embarrassed of it? Like, “Oh my godddd I did that, how EMBARRASSING....”......That moment means so much to a lot of people, and I felt like that was really OOC and kinda disrespectful. That song is an anthem for people with mental issues and people in the LGBTQ community and it just felt wrong to me. Did NOT like that.

6. I really really wish that Anna x Kristoff AND Anna x Elsa had a longer duet than what was in “Some Things Never Change” and the lullaby reprise. Their voices together are BEAUTIFUL. I think it a missed opportunity, especially when reunited with Elsa and Kristoff. Anna could have had a brief duet with Elsa, and then with Kristoff when he proposes, and then they all sing together for a finale into Anna’s coronation. I am aware there is a duet with Anna and Kristoff in the Delue edition but the version is pretty rough and, it didn’t make it into the film so I’m not counting it.

- The Positives - 

1. The character development. I must confess that I was not a Frozen fan when it first came out. I think I saw it, wasn’t too impressed, then went to Walt Disney World in December 2014, became so over-saturated with Frozen fever literally taking over EVERYTHING, that I became annoyed and resistant. I did re-watch it several times months later to try and get back on board, but I always felt like the plot in the middle was weak, meandered with no purpose, and the whole “Anna wasn’t saved by a man” (which she was. She wouldn’t have gotten to Elsa at all without Kristoff. She would have died in the snow) was less powerful because everyone was acting like Brave didn’t happen. Like it was the first movie to have someone saved by true love through someone other than a love interest. But I’m not re-visiting that shit, I just wanna enjoy Frozen for what it is and gave me positively, which is what I’m gonna do with Frozen 2 when I cathartically post this. The reason I’m going into this is because, I wasn’t expecting strong writing with the plot of Frozen 2, because of the precedent set. But I was SO excited, so HYPE, I literally went day after opening. One thing  I WAS expecting the themes to remain true to the franchise, but we won’t discuss that again. I grew to love Elsa deeply through my own struggle with mental illness (anxiety, depression, adhd). Apparently I have a lot in common with her too. Consuming her in other forms (Frozen on Broadway, Once Upon a Time, meeting her in the Parks) deepened her character and made her more understandable. And Anna. OOF. Was not a fan at all. But I LOVE her now too.  And in this movie. WOW. They were so amazing and rich, and brave, badass, strong, flawed, relatable, and the GROWTH. The way they reacted to things, even if I didn’t like most plot points, was done so well. It really felt like them even though a huge growth jump happened. I could see how they got from A to B. The character writing (other than the things mentioned earlier) was very strong and I’m proud to say I love them so much more after this movie.

2. The music. I have never particularly liked Idina’s voice but she sounds SO amazing, unique, memorable, emotional, vulnerable, and open in both of her songs. 

“Show Me” is personally my favorite, and that whole sequence was just fucking breath-taking, the message so special. Seeing her break down all her walls during that song journey was one of the best parts of the movie. I’ve been dealing with A LOT lately, and this song really just made me feel like things might work out if I continue to be strong and believe in myself, if only for a few minutes.

“Into the Unknown” was such a great tease as being the best Elsa song, and I love that they added that wacky Norwegian singer Aurora in there. I just didn’t particularly like some of the lyrics about Elsa feeling like she didn’t belong. Explained above. 

Olaf’s “This is Fine” song had me smiling so big and is quite literally an eternal mood. *insert Brooklyn 99 “I’m such a Samantha”.gif* “Some Things Never Change” was a great intro song, I love when the 4 get to duet together, though some of Elsa’s lyrics, again, not a fan. 

Anna’s song, despite the things mentioned above, was honestly the most powerful song to me. It’s not something that makes me feel good, or something I will be able to listen to often. But, as someone who struggles with depression and finding the motivation to do anything when something scary or terrible happens, this song was so sososososoosososoososo fucking important to hear. I was crying. I started crying when Olaf poofed and I kept crying through this song.

But by far, the greatest part of this movie, was Kristoff’s 90′s Poison-inspired power ballad. I was fucking CRYING with laughter. SO so good. I have been waiting for a song for Jonathan Groff and this was NOT a disappointment. The backup singers. The imagery! THE BACKUP SINGERS.

3. The beauty. It was just beautiful. Like I don’t know what else to say. The animation was gorgeous. Stunning. I’m in awe.

Other things:

- Olaf giving the recap to the Northumbra

- THAT scene with Anna and Olaf

- Elsa’s hair journey

- ELSAMAREN RIGHTS

- ELSA TAMING THE NOKK

-  When Kristoff finally proposes

- KRISTOFF’S FINAL LOOK. A WHOLE SNACK.

- BRUNI. BRUNI IS BABY.

- The fact that Elsa’s sexuality was left open ended, with the possibility for Elsamaren to be a thing. If they couldn’t outright make her gay, I think this was a good way to keep everyone happy. You could really continue her story anywhere.

Like I said earlier, I’m gonna get over this super fast. It’s Disney, and I’m not trying to get all riled up for months like I did over some TRULY terrible writing. I just wanted to get my annoyances out. I’ve already listened to this soundtrack 6 times in a row, have learned the lyrics to show yourself, and am almost in the mood to see it again. Maybe in a little bit.

Anyways, THAT IS ALL OF IT FOR NOW. I may add more BS later. If  you disagree, that’s fine, but I’m not really going to fight with people about this. I just wanted to get my thoughts out and reach out to other people who were maybe a little disappointed.

[jtsodergren]

The Best of 2019

2019, what an exceptional year for movies! A great way to close out the shittiest decade! Here are the 50 best films I saw this year... click on the title to go to the IMDB page, and I’ll try to post a link to where you can see many of them. Also for the first time this year, I’m including MOM WARNINGS! My mom reads this list and sometimes actually watches these movies... so to save her some grief, sadness, or general concern for my psyche, there will be a NOT FOR MOMS!! warning where applicable... here we go!

50. STAR WARS - EPISODE IX: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (Amazon)

People really hated this movie... I actually really liked it! Aside from the horses running around on the outside of spaceships (which makes no fucking sense... didn’t Leia get all space frozen exactly one movie ago??), it was a satisfying conclusion to a franchise I guess I don’t really care about as much as other people, so I was into it!

49. JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM (Amazon)

Quickly becoming one of the more well produced action franchises of all time. Probably two too many machine gun shootouts in this one for me (I get a little exhausted with gun violence), but the hand-to-hand stuff is brilliant and bloody and badass! Not to mention the deepening of the mythology and Halle Berry and her dogs. It’s a fun time, a welcome addition to the series, and I can’t wait for number 4.

48. QUEEN & SLIM (Amazon)

Billed as the black BONNIE AND CLYDE and from first time feature director Melina Matsoukas, this atmospheric tragedy is gorgeous to look at, delivers a pair of standout lead performances, and proves to have one of the more stressful final 30min of any of the films I saw this year, even if you know the inevitable conclusion is just around the corner.

47. UNDER THE SILVER LAKE (Amazon PRIME)

A wild Los Angeles noir story from the director of IT FOLLOWS. Plays like if David Lynch directed THE BIG LEBOWSKI, a weird, screwball whodunit. It’s a little long, and there are so many loose ends that seem to be thrown in just to fuck with the protagonist (and the audience), but it’s a really fun time and you’ll want to stay to the end to see it all play out. LA looks gorgeous too.

46. KNOCK DOWN THE HOUSE (Netflix)

Truly inspiring. Really shows how if you put your mind to something, believe in yourself and that you can make a difference, you can accomplish anything. Regardless of your political leanings, or how you feel about AOC personally, this is well worth your time and it has a great message for young people, especially those young women of color who might not think they can achieve great levels of success. It made me cry the happy tears.

45. LONG DAY’S JOURNEY INTO NIGHT (Amazon)

Best known for it’s remarkable 59min-3D final take, this hallucinatory journey through memory and dreams is mind-blowing and breathtaking. Hard not to leave this one feeling like you’ve been put though some kind of experiment that you don’t fully understand, but you’ll want to experience again. Highly recommended if you have access to 3D, or simply have some killer edibles and want to be thrown for a loop.

44. CLIMAX (Amazon PRIME)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

Speaking of being under the influence, holy shit is this film nuts! From Gaspar Noe, who if you’re aware of his work, you kind of already know what you’re in store for here. It’s been described as “FAME directed by the Marquis de Sade”... incredible dance sequences and audacious camerawork that slowly but surely devolves into hell. It’s a blast!

43. HAIL SATAN? (Hulu)

A fresh and funny documentary about a group of smartass Satanists exposing the hypocrisy amongst bible-thumping Christians who’d rather stomp their feet and be the loudest in the room than listen to anyone else’s perspective. Frustrating and entertaining in equal parts, this compulsively watchable film makes you want to scream at these Jesus freaks as much as you want to laugh along with the antics of these harmless, intelligent and organized troublemakers. An excellent time well spent.

42. FIRST LOVE (Amazon)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

Director Takashi Miike’s yakuza action-comedy is the most accessible of his films I’ve seen (he’s now made more than 100 movies, which is insane), but that doesn’t mean it’s not a gonzo wild time at the movies. The violence is here in full force, but unlike AUDITION or ICHI THE KILLER, you don’t need a barf bag close by to enjoy it. It’s often hilarious and moves at a breakneck speed. Super fun!

41. THE DEAD DON’T DIE (Amazon PRIME)

Jim Jarmusch’s star-studded, droll zombie-comedy came and went from theaters without much fanfare, but provided me with plenty of laughs. It’s also the second of 3 Adam Driver vehicles to be on this year’s list. Bill Murray and Driver lead the way along with plenty familiar faces in cameos throughout (including the RZA in one of my favorite scene’s of the year). Classic Jarmusch... a meditation on death and mortality in his vintage style.

40. EL CAMINO: A BREAKING BAD MOVIE (Netflix)

Dude, Aaron Paul is a legit GREAT actor. Picks up right where the show left off, and I was on the edge of my seat and filled with anxiety just like I was during the best moments of the now classic series. It was good to hang out with my old friends again.

39. DOCTOR SLEEP (Amazon)

A box office flop due to poor promotion and a title people weren’t familiar with, this sequel to THE SHINING is based on the Stephen King book of the same name, which I read, and I can’t recommend it more. Great suspense, and fantastic performances from both Ewan McGregor and (especially) Rebecca Ferguson. It’s a dark and scary film that is a fun trip back to the Overlook Hotel... provided you wish to return there...

38. THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANCISCO (Amazon PRIME)

About 90min into this beautifully shot film I was ready to lock it in as a possible Top 5 contender. Then the bottom fell out for me the last quarter of the movie and lost my confidence. No bother, it’s still wonderful enough to find a spot on the list and carry my recommendation. Young men and women watching their city change before their eyes, and wondering what the concept of “home” really means is a real challenge facing many people here in the Bay Area. This film does a fantastic job conveying that, for most of the film anyway. 

37. THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON (Amazon)

A bonafide crown-pleaser of a movie, and another example of the true talent Shia LeBeouf has and is capable of (more on him later). A young man with Down Syndrome escapes his assisted-living facility to track down his wrestling idol the Saltwater Redneck with the help of an outlaw and a social worker. Sweet, funny, and heartfelt... a feel good surprise.

36. A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD (Amazon)

I didn’t cry nearly as much as I did during the excellent documentary WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR from last year, but if you’re a Mr. Rogers fan, you’ll still shed a few during this heartwarming film. Tom Hanks does his thing, and even though this movie is guilty of borrowing a little too much from the previous doc, it’s still a great showcase for the truly selfless and beautiful force of nature that Fred Rogers was. Bring tissues anyway.

35. CARMINE STREET GUITARS (In Theaters Now)

A love letter to both New York City and the art, joy, and love that goes into honing and maintaining one’s craft. Meanwhile the looming doom of gentrification hovers over the proceedings, never letting you get fully enrapt in the sweetness that these artists (and their many famous customers) exude when talking about and playing their one-of-a-kind works of art. A stunning and lovely piece for musicians and talentless fans of music alike.

34. HOLIDAY (Amazon)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

A tough, cold film with nary a character to actively root for... until after about an hour of icy behavior comes (no pun intended) a scene so shocking in its graphic and disturbing nature, people left the theater without staying for the final resolution. First time director Isabella Eklof pulls off the bold and audacious maneuver, all while making it seem like she doesn’t care whether you like her characters (or her film) at all. It’s a very fine balancing act, executed to perfection. But be warned... it’s rough.

33. AVENGERS: ENDGAME (Disney+)

What can I say? You saw it. It’s good. A bunch of Supermans fly around and blow shit up. A satisfying end (until the next 20 films).

32. MIDSOMMAR (Amazon Prime)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

A disturbing slow burn of a gothic horror film. Characters do hallucinogens while ritualistic religious murders and tribal mating practices threaten to ruin everyones existence. Florence Pugh is phenomenal (more from her in a minute) in a very trying roll. Doesn’t pack quite the punch of the director’s last film, HEREDITARY, but it’s still well worth the watch. But yeah, it’s disturbing.

31. APOLLO 11 (Hulu)

A fascinating look at the first moon landing from rarely seen archival footage and audio. Seeing it on the IMAX screen was intense and exhilarating, unlike narrative pictures like the severely overrated FIRST MAN. This isn’t my favorite documentary of the year, but it is an absolute lock to win the Academy Award for Best Doc of 2019. It’s a must see, a must experience.

30. HIGH LIFE (Amazon PRIME)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

French auteur Claire Denis’ bizarre, erotic sci-fi mindfuck about isolation and humanity is not for everyone, but is a brilliant take on the genre, and is yet another showcase for Robert Pattinson, who is quietly becoming one of my favorite working actors. Juliette Binoche also is on fire here and has what one critic calls “the single greatest one-person sex scene in the history of cinema.” So it has that going for it.

29. TRIPLE FRONTIER (Netflix)

A fully loaded heist film with no real bad guy, but instead a group of recognizable badasses in a Netflix-released action thrill ride. There’s absolutely no reason this should’ve worked, or even been half as good as it is, but boy is it good! Compulsively watchable, and rewatchable. If this were on Showtime as much as DEN OF THIEVES is I’d have seen it 30 times by now. It’s one of the most pleasant surprises of the year.

28. 1917 (Amazon)

An unbelievable visual achievement from cinematographer Roger Deakins and director Sam Mendes. The story isn’t the greatest war story ever told (are there great war stories?), but it’s shot to look like one continuous long take, sustained for 2hrs. It’s really an unbelievable feat, but doesn’t come off as gimmicky or distracting. It’s intense, beautifully staged, and sad. A big screen spectacle. 

27. TOY STORY 4 (Amazon)

Woody and the gang are back, and the films continue to keep the dust from collecting. It’s still so much fun to hang out with this group of misfit toys. There was talk that after the incredible TOY STORY 3 this was just a money grab and was labeled unnecessary, but I found it to be a sweet, charming, and nostalgic trip I was glad I took.

26. HONEYLAND (Hulu)

My pick for documentary of the year comes from the mountains of Macedonia, where a woman named Hatidze lives with her dying mother making a living cultivating honey. When a family of shitheads moves into a shanty next door, what seems like a fix for her lonely existence becomes catastrophic as they disregard her teachings and threaten her livelihood. I was an emotional wreck throughout the experience and it goes without saying it’s a must-see. Gorgeous and heartbreaking.

25. LITTLE WOMEN (Amazon)

I have never read the book, nor seen any of the film adaptations, so I went in blind to this lovely film. Director Greta Gerwig follows up the phenomenal LADYBIRD with this Altman-esque rendition of the widely beloved literary classic. I found it exceptional in its execution and performances, including the previously mentioned Florence Pugh, who is a knockout. A wonderful addition to the ever-growing stable of Christmas films I look to enjoy during future Decembers.

24. GREENER GRASS (Hulu)

It’s as if Tim & Eric made BLUE VELVET. Bizarre, outrageous, gross, and a guaranteed future midnight movie favorite. My sides hurt. A satire skewering upper-middle class suburban soccer moms and dads alike. Babies are given away. A boy turns into a dog. Everyone has braces. There’s a creep on the loose. It’s wild and flat-out hilarious literally from start to finish. Almost too many jokes to keep up with. Watch it! Bring weed. 

23. RELAXER (Amazon)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

Speaking of gross, this film is disgusting, but in a good way. A satire about lazy consumerism and self-destruction. It’s a short hang, thankfully, but if you can stomach it to the end (remember, it’s nasty) you’ll be rewarded with not only a hilarious dark comedy, but also an unexpected haymaker of sadness you didn’t see coming. It’s a pretty impressive feat, and an overall success. But, yeah, it’s fucking gross. 

22. AD ASTRA (Amazon)

APOCALYPSE NOW in space starring Brad Pitt. If you need more information than that, I don’t really know what else to do for you. 

21. SLUT IN A GOOD WAY (Amazon PRIME)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

A black-and-white raunchy French arthouse teen comedy that gives a middle finger to the double standard set by the equally raunchy teen-boys-will-be-boys genre. It’s so much fun, and honest, and the actors are such natural talents you forget the subject matter is at times shocking (only because of said double standard) and just go with it. I think it’s just wonderful. Seek it out!

20. US (HBO)

Jordan Peele’s excellent follow-up to GET OUT. Doppelganger home invasion terror with a killer twist. To describe more would be to risk giving something away. I’ll just say that Lupita Nyong’o is my pick to win her second Oscar, this time as Best Actress, here in a dual role. She’s incredible. If you haven’t seen it, try to go in blind, you’ll be rewarded.

19. THE FAREWELL (Amazon PRIME)

A heartfelt homecoming film about family, culture, and how the things we don’t say can be just as strong of a show of love as the things we do say. It’s sweet, tender, and bursting with personal flare and emotions from director Lulu Wang. Awkwafina also curbs her more manic and loud tendencies as a performer for more quiet, thoughtful, and somber choices. She’s phenomenal. 

18. KNIVES OUT (Amazon)

A clever ensemble whodunit that’s just as funny and smart as it is mysterious. Everyone across the board delivers as the assorted motley crew. The film rewards repeat viewings and Daniel Craig knocks it out of the park, stealing every scene he’s in, reminding us all what a fantastic actor he can be when he’s not sipping the Vespers. 

17. BOOKSMART (Hulu)

The female SUPERBAD is the elevator pitch, but this coming-of-age gem is really unlike any other example in the genre. They’re privileged, uber-smart, and have never partied. Yet they have the same neuroses as any other teen scared to death of what to do next or how to be normal. It’s also fucking hilarious. You wanna hang out with these girls and at the same time bury your head under the covers because you feel their pure terror/embarrassment. It’s a blast.

16. THE MUSTANG (Amazon)

Starring Matthias Schoenaerts, one of the finest actor’s working today, this understated and emotional drama about rehabilitation and redemption floored me upon first viewing. It is a gorgeous film. You’ve probably seen stories similar to this before, but rarely is one told with such compelling conviction. A borderline masterpiece. 

15. HONEY BOY (Amazon PRIME)

Remember a few years back we had the McConaissance, where everything Matthew McConaughey did was solid gold after years of middling bullshit? I’m calling it right now: Shia LaBeouf is about to have the same thing. He wrote the script and plays a version of his own father in a brutal version of his own fucked up childhood as an up-and-coming child actor. It’s heartbreaking and absolutely riveting. I’m hoping he gets an Oscar nod, but regardless I implore you to seek this film out, he’s incredible. 

14. MONOS (Hulu)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

A bizarre, bewildering, chaotic, and unsettling film. Some of the most beautiful photography I saw on the big screen this year, yet some of the most surreal and disturbing imagery as well. It’s a militarized, Latin American LORD OF THE FLIES with commentary on tribal behavior and violence. It can be a tough sit, but boy is it beautiful. 

13. DOLEMITE IS MY NAME (Netflix)

What a wonderful, welcome surprise! Eddie Murphy in an awards caliber performance as Rudy Ray Moore, the multi-hyphenate performer who created the alter ego Dolemite, spawning a film franchise and many legendary comedy albums. It’s obviously hilarious, and a great behind-the-scenes biopic, but also shockingly sweet and heartfelt, even between all the cuss words. I even teared up a couple times. The 3rd best thing Netflix released this year (more on that in a minute).

12. JOKER (Amazon)

You already saw this.

11. THE IRISHMAN (Netflix)

It’s far too long. It could’ve done with being cut as a three part miniseries or special. There’s about 45min worth of scenes that are quintessential DVD bonus features (I’m looking at you Action Bronson), but goddamn if it’s not Scorsese doing his Scorsese thing. It’s a gangster film, but it’s also a meditation on aging and death. Pesci is incredible and Pacino steals the show. Sure, the de-aging thing is distracting, the curb stomping scene is embarrassing. But still, I mean... IT’S MARTIN SCORSESE!

10. PAIN AND GLORY (Amazon)

Pedro Almodovar’s most personal work to date, a tale about making art and the loneliness of love. If you are unfamiliar with his work, this is a great jumping off point. His movies can be challenging and dark, but this film has such joy and hope amongst the heartache. The final reveal, while not earth shattering on paper, is nonetheless so moving it left the screening I attended without a dry eye in the place. It is his best film yet. 

9. THE LIGHTHOUSE (Amazon)

From the director of THE WITCH comes another type of gothic horror, this time with the legendary Willem Dafoe and the (already mentioned) brilliant Robert Pattinson marooned on a lighthouse rock alone to drive each other completely insane. It’s hallucinatory, violent, disorienting, and flat-out brilliant. If it weren’t for another guy we’ll get to in a minute, Dafoe would be a lock for Best Supporting Actor here. It’s a slightly challenging film, with the period style mariner dialogue, but it’s just as funny as it is terrifying.

8. JOJO RABBIT (Amazon)

A beautiful, touching, funny, crowd-pleasing comedy about a little Nazi whose imaginary friend is Hitler. Yep, your read that correctly. There are about a million reasons this should absolutely not work. Yet, it’s one of the best theater going experiences I had this year. A must see... ESPECIALLY with Mom!

7. MARRIAGE STORY (Netflix)

The best written and acted film of the year, and the third Adam Driver vehicle to appear here. Sad but honest. Touching but brutal. It’s awkward and a bit of a bummer, but there’s such great work being done here, in front of and behind the camera. Noah Baumbach is a force of nature, and has yet to make a film I was even iffy about. He’s the real deal and this might be his masterpiece. 

6. WAVES (Amazon)

Speaking of auteurs, Trey Edward Shults is now 3/3 on features after the brilliant KRISHA and IT COMES AT NIGHT. Here he follows a middle-class black family, led by a domineering father, through a tragic moment in all of their lives. The first half deals with the son’s story, then abruptly switches to the daughter’s life post said event. It shouldn’t work, yet somehow manages to be one of the most emotionally affecting pieces of art I saw this year. The camera never stops moving, constantly swirling and whirling and you can’t help to be sucked up into it. It’s a beautiful tragedy.

5. LONG SHOT (HBO)

The biggest and most pleasant surprise of the year. An opposites-attract rom-com with more brains, bite, social commentary, and laughs than it has any right to have. Easily the most fun you’ll have with (almost) the whole family... there’s a lot of cum jokes. But don’t let the vulgarity dissuade you! It’s a total riot with just the right amount of sweetness to balance out the saltiness. I love love love this movie.

4. THE ART OF SELF-DEFENSE (Hulu)

What starts as a strange, dark comedy morphs into a FIGHT CLUB-esque thriller with allusions to disturbingly toxic masculinity and an offbeat take on what it takes to “be a man.” It is laugh-out-loud hilarious, and expertly made, while really having something to say, and it says it in a way I’ve never really seen before. It’s not surprising this didn’t get more attention, the characters are truly difficult to relate to, let alone root for, but as far as originality goes, you’d be hard pressed to find anything this year much better than this. 

3. UNCUT GEMS (Amazon)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

The cinematic equivalent of being locked in the brain of a lunatic having a cocaine-fueled anxiety attack. If that sounds like fun (AND IT IS!!!) then this is the film for you! Oh, and Adam Sandler is going to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Actor. For real. It’s a chaotic, stress-filled masterpiece.

2. ONCE UPON A TIME... IN HOLLYWOOD (Amazon)

My favorite filmmaker’s 2nd best film. A personal story about the love of film during the late 60s, a time of dirty hippies and Charles Manson, as well as the passing of the torch from old Hollywood to the “golden age” of cinema. It’s a fairytale of sorts, with Tarantino’s trademark flare for spontaneous violence and mining multiple genres to make his most mature work since PULP FICTION. I’ve been rewarded with new takeaways upon each subsequent viewing, and my love and appreciation for it only grows and grows. Brad Pitt is a lock for Best Supporting Actor, he’s magnificent. It was always going to be my #1 with a bullet no matter what, because it’s just that great...

1. PARASITE (Amazon)

...but then Bong Joon-ho, the master of new Korean cinema unleashed PARASITE. Not only is it the best film of 2019, it’s one of the best films I have ever seen. Like EVER ever. He is in such astonishing control of his craft it’s hard not to sit back and marvel and the sheer skill on display. You can be laughing one moment and then recoiling in horror during the same breath. He’s using multiple genre tropes, incredible set design, pitch perfect acting/writing, and such exquisite planning you can’t possibly know what’s in store for you from one scene to the next. It is an absolute masterpiece and if it doesn’t sweep every category it’s nominated for at this year’s Oscars, it’ll be a travesty. If you have even a passing interest in film as an art form, the power it can wield, and the messages it can convey, you owe it to yourself to see this film. It’s perfect.

Well, there it is. Thanks for reading any part of this. Now go see PARASITE. I love you.

[lostinthewinterwood]

Chocolate Box Letter 2020

Dear Chocolatier…

  Thank you for writing for me!  I hope you find inspiration, if you need it, somewhere in this letter, but either way, good luck with your writing!

(some of the prompts are… rambly and disjointed; the lengths vary wildly, but dw I love them all.  I hope the rambly ones still make sense; this letter is uhhh almost 3k and my brain is Tired.)

General DNWs:

Rape/non/dub-con; non-canonical major character death*; smut/graphic sex scenes; heavy angst; hurt no comfort; graphic depictions of deliberate and methodical self-harm**; graphic depictions of suicide;  gore; heavy gender dysphoria; grimdark; complete downer endings; character bashing; incest; cringe comedy; a/b/o; mpreg; full setting AUs (canon-divergence, even significant canon-divergence, is fine); graphic eye trauma; graphic and/or permanent hand trauma (unless the setting can provide a more-or-less fully functional prosthetic or equivalent); issuefic.

*exceptions noted below.

**I don’t include things like, say, punching a wall in a fit of emotion under this. however, something like cutting would not be appreciated.

  General Likes:

I like family/friendship stories, things that play with canon in interesting ways, honestly… a lot of things.  I don’t know. articulating things I like is hard.

I’m an absolute sucker for identity porn/secret/mistaken identity drama, as well as non-sexualized/non-fetishized crossdressing (either direction, and especially if for plot-relevant disguise purposes!) and if you combine them, well, I’ll be a very happy camper.

Other things I like include wriggling into canon and exploring something left unexplored by said canon, what-if stories featuring some sort of canon divergence, and plotty fic, if you want to write something long enough for that to be relevant.

  Order of fandoms:

·        Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

·        Super Powereds – Drew Hayes

·        Tortall – Tamora Pierce

·        Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)

·        The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)

·        Frozen (Disney Movies)

·        Little Women (2019)

·        Original Prompts

·        Crossovers

    Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren (Star Wars Sequel Trilogy)

So uh I may be having a slight case of Feels™ over these two, though tbh I’m not entirely sure what those feelings are exactly.  I don’t know what exactly I’d most want, though I’d be interested in explorations of their evolving emotions in relation to each other, especially through Kylo Ren/Ben’s whole death/rebirth thing.  What-ifs are another thing; what if, say, Ben didn’t die?  What happens, then, since they’d have to actually deal with what he’s done?  Feel free to retcon the kiss (which I thought was rather devoid of chemistry; in general their dynamic came across to me more as weirdly sibling-ish, especially after the Death Star duel) to a hug or something, if you want.

If you want to go to a lighter place, I can also see all sorts of shenanigans emerging after they discover their Force-teleportation skills.

Also feel free to retcon Rey’s parentage, if that is where your heart takes you: might she be Luke’s secret child?  Leia’s?  A descendant of Obi-Wan Kenobi and, say, Satine Kryze?

Apart from that I’d prefer no full-setting AUs; canon divergence is fine, and if you go that route you can pick a divergence point as far back as you want.

Feel free to include whatever other characters are necessary for the story you want to tell.

(And also do keep in mind that you can absolutely cut off someone’s hand here, or for the Star Wars crossover farther down; in this franchise it is a goddamn motif.)

    Super Powereds – Drew Hayes

Adam Riley & George Russel | Relentless Steel (Super Powereds)

I’m utterly fascinated by the relationship these two have; the interplay of Adam’s… vendetta, maybe?  I’m not sure what the right word for it is… and the fact that George also serves him as a mentor/almost-parental, in some ways, figure.  And, you know, that Adam (maybe) kills him.  We don’t actually see that; for all we know he made a different choice.

Consider this an exception to my “non-canonical MCD” DNW, since it’s deliberately ambiguous in canon; you can kill George, if that’s where your muse takes you.

  Alice Adair | Legacy & Vince Reynolds | Jack of All (Super Powereds)

Their friendship/cousin relationship is Wholesome and I love it.  Any point in the timeline, post-canon, all of it is Good and Welcome.  Do they form a legacy children/villains’ kids club? They’re secret cousins; untangling the mess that is the past; so much juicy juicy stuff to work with!!

  Phillip Adair | Globe & Charles Adair | Alchemist (Super Powereds)

Brother vs brother! O the drama! But also, they grew up together; they were once best friends; and Charles grew hard and it all fell apart—give me their childhood, maybe, or HCP years or young heroes before Shelby’s powers grew too much for her, or lean into the tragedy of what comes later…

    Tortall – Tamora Pierce

Numair Salmalín | Arram Draper & Varice Kingsford (Tortall)

Numair Salmalín | Arram Draper & Varice Kingsford & Ozorne Muhassin Tasikhe (Tortall)

Ozorne Muhassin Tasikhe & Numair Salmalín | Arram Draper (Tortall)

Varice Kingsford & Ozorne Muhassin Tasikhe (Tortall)

I love these kids, okay?  And I wish they could all just… be okay.  But of course they won’t be; we already know what becomes of them, after all.

There’s a lot to explore here, with these three in their varying combinations of course.  Right now I’m most interested in the pre-Wild Magic timeline—what was Varice and Ozorne’s dynamic before Arram came along? what little snippets of things happen offscreen during the timeline of Tempests and Slaughter? how does Arram gain his black robe; how does Ozorne feel about that? Varice? how does Numair end up in exile, and how do the others feel about that whole affair?—but really I’d also be interested in something set during or around the time of Emperor Mage, from any of their POVs.  We get all the story there from Daine, who is great! but she doesn’t know the history between the three of them, not intimately as they do, and I’d love any of their emotional reactions to being together again under such strained circumstances, so many years after everything fell apart.

  Numair Salmalín & Myles of Olau (Tortall)

He was on a mission, was he not, when he became that hawk at the beginning of Wild Magic?  (please ignore if I am Wrong there.)  So how did they meet?  Why did Numair become an agent?  All sorts of questions, here…

  Prince Stiloit Tasikhe & Varice Kingsford (Tortall - Pierce)

Stiloit seems so… calm, and level-headed, especially when compared with Ozorne who is not.  And he clearly finds Varice interesting, and her company valuable.  So maybe tell me something about that—what does he think of her?  She of him?  What if, perhaps, he didn’t die when he does?

  Keladry of Mindelan & Nealan of Queenscove (Tortall)

They have a BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP and also ye gods when I reread First Test at like 19 (having first read it at 10) I was struck by how very, very fifteen Neal is in that book and it’s hilarious.  But more seriously—Neal’s PoV on things would be fantastic, since we only see him through Kel’s eyes and he doesn’t let her see everything about himself.

  Keladry of Mindelan & Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak (Tortall - Pierce)

What a beautiful mentorship relationship, I love them.  Also, how does Raoul feel about this open girl page?  Who’s so determined, and has such potential in how she could become more, in an area he knows about (that being military command)—how does he feel about her, living her best life; how does he contextualize it in his intimate knowledge that Alanna could not do what she is doing—and yet it was Alanna, with her deception, who allowed this to be.

  Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau & Numair Salmalín

The renowned lady knight-healer-mage and the black robe on the run from Carthak! How did they meet, anyway?  They’re something like the same age, I think, or at least he’s no more than ten years her junior.

  Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau & Thom of Trebond (Tortall - Pierce)

My poor Important Destiny Twins… Look I just, I want some content with poor Thom, right?  I’d rather here that we set the story before his death, or that we make it an AU where he gets to live.

    Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)

Shadowsan & Hideo (Carmen Sandiego 2019)

There’s… so little of this stated or shown overtly, really, but I’m fascinated.  I can’t get over it.  Just tell me about the brothers, please.

    The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)

Runaan/Ethari & Rayla (The Dragon Prince)

Family fluff!  Or angst!  Or turn round and give them a reunion!  All depends on where in the timeline you pick, really.

(there’s a fic on ao3 with the tag “this fanfiction written by the ETHARI LOOK IN THE FUCKING WATER gang” and honestly that is just such a mood.)

  Amaya & Sarai (The Dragon Prince)

…I don’t have much to say here really, just that I love me some sibling dynamics.

  Callum & Ezran (The Dragon Prince)

A king by birthright, a prince only by adoption, who by age/maturity would probably be better-suited to ruling… look idk just, bros okay???

Maybe something when they were younger, or canon-era, or… idk I love them.

  Callum & Ezran & Rayla (The Dragon Prince)

Friendship! Angst! The gang’s all here!  If you want you can include rayllum but for this prompt at least I’d rather it be lowkey.

  Claudia & Soren (The Dragon Prince)

I am heartbroken over these kids and just—I need more content with them.  Even if it makes me sad.

  Callum & King Harrow (The Dragon Prince)

There are a lot of complicated feelings I have about them—how clearly Harrow loves his stepson, and how even after more than a decade, Callum still isn’t quite comfortable with his stepfather.

    Frozen (Disney Movies)

Agnarr/Iduna (Frozen)

How did they get together?  Why does Iduna stay with Agnarr; why doesn’t she just go home?  How does that revelation conversation go—when does it happen?  How do they come to decide to block Elsa’s powers; when/how do they decide to sail for Ahtohallan?

  Kristoff & Ryder Nattura (Frozen)

Reindeer bros!!  What did Kristoff do while Anna and Elsa were off doing the plot stuff?  Does he go with the Northuldra?  I love the dynamic between these two; it’s adorable and there’s so painfully little of it.

  Yelena & Mattias (Frozen)

So clearly they know each other, right? It’s been thirty-four years, and they clearly have some sort of sniping thing going on but they don’t seem to be actively antagonistic towards each other.  How do they feel about each other, really? How have they interacted in the past?  Is there anything there?  What about after Mattias goes back to Arendelle?

  Anna & Elsa (Frozen)

There is just.  There’s a profound tragedy here—they’re best of friends till they’re five and eight or so, then they don’t interact for thirteen years, they have three years together, and then they go off together to the Enchanted Forest and Elsa doesn’t come back to live in Arendelle, while Anna must return… I don’t know.  Tell me about that, maybe.  Or give me sweet fluff about them as children.  Or something.

  Anna/Kristoff (Frozen)

They’re adorable and I love them and I really just want more.  Maybe something from between the movies—how do they navigate forming a relationship, when he was raised by trolls and she’s been so isolated?

    Little Women (2019)

Amy March/Theodore Laurence (Little Women 2019)

…I don’t know, they’re cute, Laurie is a disaster, I love seeing Amy grow up, I hunger for moar content with them.

  Beth March & Mr. Laurence (Little Women 2019)

This has a lot of potential for cute/sad father/daughter dynamics, I think!  And I’d love more of it.

  Friedrich Bhaer & Josephine March (Little Women 2019)

Friedrich Bhaer/Josephine March (Little Women 2019)

I just want cute content with Jo and her dynamic with this man who actually respects her and her writing okay?  Maybe something like, I don’t know, navigation of boundaries around Jo’s writing and his criticism thereof… I don’t know.  Have fun with them.  And I really don’t care if it’s shipfic or not.

  Theodore "Laurie" Laurence & Josephine March (Little Women 2019)

Theodore Laurence & Josephine March (Little Women 2019)

Laurie is still a disaster but I love him anyway, and their friendship is sweet, and I need more content™.

    Original Prompts

In general: I’m not super picky about how shippy the shipfic gets; most of the ship prompts here would, I think, work as well for gen, excepting the suitor and the princess (which is not to say I’m asking that it be gen, obviously I’m not, but if your muse takes you that direction then go for it).  Likes I put up top still apply down here.

In terms of settings, I especially like high fantasy, space fantasy, or, if relevant, Classic Superhero City Setting, but I’m open to just about anything.

I’m also not tremendously picky about the genders of the characters involved; if it isn’t stated within the prompt, go wild, but please do stick to standard English pronouns; I have a lot of difficulty reading things with neopronouns.

Most of these pairings are prompts in and of themselves, but I’ll add in some bits of commentary for each one.

  Disgraced Vampire Queen Moonlighting As A Barista/Exhausted Vampire Hunter In Search Of Caffeine

Okay, so I just think this has great potential for absolute hilarity, and identity shenanigans aplenty.

  Dragon & Human Child (Original Work)

I love dragons.  I love playing with dragon-lore, though here I’d appreciate it being a relationship wherein the dragon is not evil, at least not to the child.

  Female Crossdressing General/Female Crossdressing Enemy General (Original Work)

So uh from my general likes, it should be… fairly obvious what called to me here lmao.  But there’s such potential here!  The drama!  Do they know each others’ real gender?  Do they know that they’re on opposing sides?  How does this romance across the battlefield work?  Is it even across the battlefield—are they at war, or just generally enemies?

  Female Failed Chosen One & Female New Chosen One

Such delicious depths to delve here… why did the first one fail?  What’s her relationship with her successor?  What have they been chosen for?  The setup of this makes me think that the failed chosen one is an adult of some age that’s distinctly older than the new one, who I’ve been imagining as an older child or young adult, but you should follow your muse there.

  Female Ship's Captain & Grumpy Stowaway Orphan Rebel

What kind of ship are they on, anyway?  Sailing ship?  Spaceship?  What’s the orphan rebelling against—an Evil Empire?  The Man?  Something else?

  Female Suitor Sent As An Insult To Ruling Monarchs/Princess Uninterested In Male Suitors

This seems like… I don’t know, there’s just such potential for dancing around each other and Misunderstandings™ about what’s going on.  Is this the princess’s Gay Awakening?  Has she known for a while why she’s not into the male suitors?  Why was this female suitor selected for the insult?

  Injured Male Superhero/Male Supervillain Who Saves His Life

I love superhero identity shenanigans, and ambiguous morals, and I’d love to dive into the emotional turmoil that results from this rescue decision—why does the supervillain do it?  How does the hero feel about being saved by his enemy?

  Musician/Dancer with magical powers (Original Work)

Another trope I love that I didn’t mention before is magic music and magical arts in general, so this here is right up my alley.

  Portal Fantasy Protagonist & Their Mentor In A Trade Useful In Both Worlds (Original Work)

…Look, idk man this is just sweet and wholesome and I Want.

  Retired Male Superhero/Male Supervillain Who Keeps Seeking Him Out Because He Misses Him

Is this not just the plot of Megamind?  In all seriousness, though, I feel about the same here as I do in the injury situation; I love me some hero/villain dynamics in general.

  Witch & Witch's Apprentice

Mentor and student!  Always a fun time.  I’m picturing this as some pseudo-historical or straight alternate-world setting more than modern, but follow your muse here.

  Wounded Werewolf/Female Apprentice Witch who Begrudgingly Rescues him (OW)

Honestly I feel like the dynamic here will probably scratch the same itch that the hero/villain pairings do.  Clearly I have a Type.

    Crossovers

Oliver Queen (DC's Arrowverse) & Matt Murdock (Daredevil(TV))

Local Vigilante Man With Many Issues Meets Counterpart From Another Universe would be the headline here, probably.  I don’t know.  I think they’d be fun to bounce off each other.

For reference though I haven’t watched all of either show: I’ve seen the first four seasons of Arrow in their entirety and some of what comes later, and I’ve seen the first two seasons of Daredevil.  You can reference later events, I’m not currently really following either show and am not particularly worried about spoilers, but without some degree of context I’ll be fairly lost.

  Shmi Skywalker (SWPT) & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren (SWST)

How do these two meet?  Is it time travel nonsense?  Shmi as a Force ghost?  Both of them in the afterlife?  And if it’s before Ben’s redemption but after his Fall, I do rather hope she’s Disappointed™ in him.

  Vince Reynolds | Jack of All (Super Powereds) & Midoriya Izuku (My Hero Academia)

Look.  Look.  All I have ever wanted since I started watching My Hero Academia (which… I haven’t seen much of, but don’t worry about spoilers I legitimately do not care) is to see Vince meet with the character who I immediately internally dubbed tiny green Vince.  How did this happen? Frankly I neither know nor care.  I just want to see it happen.

Thank you for writing me fic!!