#i will update you guys on the progress tomorrow

[rpfisfine]

https://youtu.be/VTww7HDnBpE?si=3FCl4pZlRMQXNUNG

More Alex content for you 😁

omg..........Omg.....

[leviiackrman]

Thought I would update:

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

can we get an update on how pathetic is going so far? 🥺

are we on 100k words LMAO im dreaming but i dont mean to rush you i'm just curious meheh

- 💌

Uh

[skelezux]

do you ever feel like talking to an older adult is like talking with a fucking brick wall with a stubborn fucking mouth

[blockofhoney]

episode 1 COMPLETE. thank fuck

[onelittlespiral]

Hey dude, I'm just a lil bro looking for a big bro to take care of me in all sorts of ways but all I'm stuck with is my lousy nerd of a roommate. Could you help me out?

FML: Fraternize

My roommate was… chill all things considered. I don’t know, he was just the random guy that I got stuck with when all my bros decided to move into the house and I needed someone to take the lease with. Scruffy, for sure. A bit out of shape. He said he used to play soccer in high school. Cute, but that was about it. Nowadays he was just getting his degree in English. Just a guy. But I didn’t want just another guy.

I tried to be friends with the guy, but he always just blew me and my boys off. He would just say he was too busy studying or playing some video game to come out to the gym with us or hang at the frat. I finally decided I was fed up. I needed my roommate to be more than a rando in my house. I needed a bro. And the fraternity had some resources to make that happen.

They usually keep this kinda stuff for pledges who start stepping out of line, but my buddy slipped me the files that they show to help guys get in line. I don’t remember if I ever saw them myself… what ever. It was a series of videos that promised to turn any guy into a bro in no time flat. So, one night, I put the tapes on when my roommate was home:

“Hey man, I’ve gotta watch these for class, mind if I slip them on?”

“No problem, I’ll just hang out in my bedroom.”

“Actually, it may be something you would like. You should stay. Here, you chill here and I’ll listen while I cook. I’ll make enough to split.”

I turned the first tape on and went to cook up some chicken and rice. In the other room, I heard the video beginning. It wasn’t long before I started hearing my roommate responding to the commands:

You are loyal to your bros.

“I am loyal to my bros.”

When you are around them you feel relaxed.

“When I am around them I feel relaxed”

The gym feels like your second home.

“The gym feels like my second home.”

The frat is life. You are made to be loyal to the frat.

“I am made to be loyal to the frat.”

They kept pushing him in the background while I finished cooking some food. When I walked back into the room, static filled the screen as my roommate stared into space, drool dripping from his mouth. I turned of the TV and he seemed to come to his senses.

“Hey, sup bro? Got the fuel?”

Already he was much better, “Yeah man, chicken and rice.”

“Hell yeah, gotta get a good workout in before getting my homework done.”

We ate quickly and started getting ready for the gym.

“Hey, bro, you think they are still taking new pledges? I’ve been meaning to apply to your frat!”

I was shocked at how quick the progress had been, “Yeah man. I’ll hook you up with my peeps tomorrow.”

“Sweet, let me finish getting ready and we can go.”

Dang those videos were quick. Even the way he carried himself was so different. This is the bro I needed.

The week went on and we kept working out. I hooked my roommate up with the pledge master and he quickly started falling in with the bros. We worked out, partied, did almost everything together now. I gave the rest of the tapes back to my guy who gave them to me. He said he needed them for a few guys who had gotten a little hands-y with some girls at the last party. I was fine to get them back, I didn’t think there would be any more issues with my roommate.

The year flew by until it was time for spring break. I had opted to be my roommate’s big and done all the usual hazing and shit with him. Had to keep him on his A game, I wasn’t going to go east on him. The spring break frat trip was a rite of passage for the incoming pledges. As much as I wanted to go, I had plans to visit California with my partner. We were having a great time, chilling at the beach, shopping through souvenir stores, and hiking parks. But I made sure to get updates about how my roommate was enjoying his week. It was from one of these progress reports that I got word from the pledge master:

Hey, bro. Just letting you know. Your little bro was making some girls uncomfortable at the bar. Can’t have that causing issues for the frat.

Shit man. I’m sorry. Lemme talk to him.

Nah dude, it’s good. We have a protocol for these kinds things. Just letting you know so you aren’t surprised. We’ll make sure he won’t bother any girls again.

Thanks dude. Lemme know if you need anything.

Nah bruh, relax. Enjoy your vacay.

Well as long as they have shit handled. I went back to my vacation and forgot about the whole situation. I would give him crap for it when I got back. The rest of our trip was great. I didn’t hear anything more from my bros so I assumed it all went according to plan. I was eager to get back to my roommate and prep him for full brotherhood when I got back. It wasn’t till I walked into the apartment I knew something was awry:

“Sup, bro, welcome back.”

A deep voice echoed from the balcony. He stepped inside and was greeted by a stranger. His arms were as thick as a football, his legs as thick as tree trunks. The smell of sweat, sex, and stale beer followed him into the room. He had a fresh tattoo on his arm with the number 86 boldly displayed. The stranger walked with swagger up to me, like he owned the place. As he approached, his musk only grew more intense. It wasn’t until I noticed the glasses it all clicked into place:

“Bro… is that you?!?”

“Bruh, who else would it be?”

My roommate stood proudly in front of me. He had been going to the gym steadily but no amount of protein powder could explain the progress he had made in a week. He was also easily 3 inches taller. And the smell. I don’t know how to describe it but he smelled… virile. Like just being around him was starting to get me excited. He certainly had never been like this before.

“Looking good, right? Like the new tat? Year of our chapter’s founding, 1986. After all, I am made to be loyal to the frat.”

That line made it all click together. The tapes. They said they would handle the situation, I didn’t know they would use the tapes.

”Speaking of which, dude. I can’t believe you flaked on the frat and went on a trip with your partner. You’ve got to be loyal to your bros.”

His scent, his words, my mind was swimming in a way it hadn’t in a long time. He stepped towards me, grabbing my head. I was pulled into his pit. I tried to pull back but a hand on the back of my head held me firmly in place. I felt so aroused and so scared as I was forced to huff the scent of pure frat bro. I was… fading. I couldn’t… resist… my… my… bruhhhhh.

“I think that you should sit through the next set with me bro.”

My mind was blank as he told me to sit down on the couch. Of course, I would do anything for my frat bro. He put on a video and sat behind me.

“They said we could watch this one together.”

The video whirled to life as my roommate held me in place in his lap. A flash of color and a brief intro played. It explained that it was the last in a series of videos for brothers who were trouble makers in the frat. This last one was the most extreme. I felt a wave of guilt, knowing I had betrayed my brothers and the chapter. I wasn’t sure what I did but I knew it must be bad. My behavior had to change.

You will conform to the standard set by the frat, whatever it takes. You will be entirely dedicated to the brotherhood.

“I will be entirely dedicated to the brotherhood,” we both repeated, in unison.

Good. Since you have proven you can’t be trusted with making good decisions, your brothers have decided to make those for you. You will become the ultimate frat bro.

“I will become the ultimate frat bro.”

Let’s start on the outside. A brother works out daily, at least. Strong muscles make for a strong foundation.

As I repeated the words, they became my reality. I had certainly never been a scrawny guy before, but this was something else. My muscles convulsed all at once, then seemed to shred and burst. My muscles ached as pecs, biceps, abs all were pulled out of my body. I sweat under the effort as legs bloated and toned, bloated and toned. My back stretched out and shoulders mounded on muscle.

Good bro. Now, a brother should be cocky, with a cock to match. All the other fraternities should know how superior we are.

‘Shiiit, no other frat could even come close. We threw the best parties, had the hottest girls and… fuck the hottest guys. With a bod like this, just about no body could resist.’ As those thoughts echoed in my head, there was a sharp pain in my balls as they started to swell. My cock snaked down my shorts, throbbing with newfound power and size. A moan escaped my mouth as my cock swelled thick as a beer can. Anyone would beg for a cock like this.

A frat bro with a cock like that just needs to fuck. Your libido keeps your mind so full that you hardly have time to pass your business classes.

My swollen balls began to churn as my cock came to life. As my mind was thrust into a deep sexual haze, any aspirations I had on my pre-law track were pushed out, draining right to my balls and slowly leaking out my cock. At the same time, I felt my roommate begin to shift behind me. I felt his cock press against the small of my back, throbbing as it was thrust into overdrive. He began slowly humping against my back, and I leaned back against that massive cock. I wanted to help my bro however I could. He wrapped his arms around me and slowly started jacking me off. My mind was in pure bliss as I was kicked into overdrive. His arms felt so warm and strong, and he was pushing all my buttons till I was thrusting into his hands.

The frat is a part of you. You live, breath, and sweat the frat. Everyone who meets you will know exactly what you’re about and submit to you, an alpha bro. You put the reek in Greek.

My mind processed for a second until the smell hit me from behind and I understood. My hormones shifted as sweat poured out. It was hard work being a fraternity brother, and everyone would know that. I worked overtime as the smell of straight frat filled my nostrils. The apartment changed in response, filled with leftover beers, used tank tops, and soaked underwear. Anyone who entered would fall into an immediate haze, the smell of bros clouding their mind. My mind was… so… slow. Just… needed… FUCK.

You will keep it simple, keep it stupid.

“I will keep it simple, keep it stupid.”

My head felt like it was filled with fluff. No thoughts, just instinct.

You will listen to your pledge master, follow all he says.

“I will listen to my pledge master, follow all he says.”

It was so much easier to just trust my bros. Whatever they said went.

You will live for and serve your bros, live for and serve the frat.

“I will live for and serve my bros and the frat.”

I would do anything for my bros. Gotta keep ‘em happy.

The frat is life.

“The frat is life.”

My roommate’s cock was still rock hard behind me. His grip was edging me as moaned for release. I could dedicate my life to men like him.

Thank you for your cooperation. There will be no further issues. Now cum.

And I did. Ropes shot across the floor as all the changes were set in stone. I was just another frat dude, struggling through Business classes and fucking through the night.

And with that the video ended. It took a sec for me to regain my senses. I slowly refocused my eyes and… fuck bruh my head is pounding. Musta partied too hard last night. Shit, I was drooling all over myself, lol. I mean, I’m hot but not that hot. And fuck, I made a mess. Bro, what happened? It’s already late, I’ve got to get ready to go out tonight.

I was going to throw on a polo and some shorts when my roommate put a hand on my shoulder. This man must’ve got a double dose of whatever I got. Bro, he was on another fucking level. He pulled me in tight, cupped my ass in his hands, held my chin, and slid his tongue in my mouth. All at once, my world shifted as the fraternity’s motto rang in my head, I will be entirely dedicated to the brotherhood. An aching in my balls told me that I wasn’t going to make it out tonight. I had my frat bro… no, my big bro right here. And he will take care of his little bro. He pulled down his sweatpants and a thick rod popped out from the waistband. He gently guided me to his cock, the true source of his musk. Our scents mingled as my thoughts were consumed by sex. The salty taste of pre coated my tongue as the tip slid down the back of my throat. My mind faded as the smell of the frat filled my nostrils. I was lost in bliss as my bro started pumping, pumping down my throat. Gone was the nerdy roommate I had:

There was nothing left but frat bro.

[vendetta-if]

Chapter 7 + Ash Hangout Public Update is now live! 🎉

The Chapter 7 and Ash Hangout update is finally here 🔥😁 I'm sorry for the slight delay, I had something urgent to attend to today and I just got home and I just basically went straight to my computer to upload this update.

Finally, we are starting to get into the ROs' first hangout sessions. Of course, to start us off, we'll have Ash's hangout session 😁This update adds around 31K of new words, bringing the total word count so far to around 356,701K words!

Anyway, this update also brings quite a lot of changes in the coding, especially for the skip chapter function, so I'm going to strongly suggest you guys play with clean save, either from the beginning or using the skip chapter function.

I have recently added another skip-chapter checkpoint, which is Chapter 3 in addition to the already existing one on Chapter 6. There is also now an autosave function at the beginning of every chapter starting on Chapter 2, so you'll be able to replay any chapter you're currently reading and try out different options in that chapter.

Anyway, enough of the technicalities.

Here's what you can expect in this update:

The set up to the ROs'  first hangout sessions

Ash's first hangout session

Go down the memory lane and see snippets of MC's most cherished memories.

Some more Viktor 😔

A mix of angst, wholesome, and even potential fluff 🤭

🔥🧡😉

Ash/Rin poly route is not yet ready for this hangout and it's still work-in-progress 🙏

New stuff added to previous chapters:

Added autosave/reload function for Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, and Chapter 5.

Added another skip-chapter point to Chapter 3, in addition to the already existing Chapter 6.

Also, little news that I'm going to make a post of tomorrow, I'm about to open both the Side Story and Spicy Side Story ideas and suggestions for this month on both Patreon and Ko-Fi, so if you're interested in supporting me while also getting some exclusive stuff, please do consider checking out my pages and subscribing 💖

I hope you guys enjoy the update! Oh, and also, feel free to send asks about the new update, but I'll probably hold off on answering them until a few days have passed to make sure a lot of readers already have the chance to check out the update and not accidentally spoil them 😊

[DEMO] | [PATREON] | [KO-FI] | [DISCORD] | [COG FORUM]

[redflagshipwriter]

I have had this account for ALMOST ONE MONTH and to celebrate I am valiantly aiming to post an update on every single story in progress tomorrow, Wednesday the 28th. If I can't get to it all, what would you wanna see most?

[madangel19]

Trans Aether and Trans Sunshine trading tips and hyping each other up and also that's why they weren't there for the Re-Imperatour, because they both wanted to transition at their own pace :)

I wasn't quite sure what to do with this for a bit, but I finally thought of something, Anon! They would totally hype each other up while at home and they would always give their pack updates on their progress. Hopefully I wrote trans characters okay here :D

Content: Top surgery mentioned, top surgery scars for Aether, breast growth for Sunshine, mostly non-sexual nudity, some slight suggestive material mentioned, trans Aether, trans Sunshine, Sunshine being a ball of sunshine lol

Word Count: 691

“So, how’d the show go tonight?” Aether asked, smiling back at Dewdrop on his phone. He had made sure to video call him every night of this tour to check in on everyone and give them updates on life back at the ministry. 

“Amazing as always, big guy. It’s just not the same with you and Sunny here. Phantom and Aurora are amazing, but I miss you guys,” Dewdrop replied.

“Just a few more weeks and you’ll be back with me, firefly,” Aether crowed, smirking as he thought of the exciting news he wanted to share with him. So much had happened over the past few weeks that he hadn’t told Dew and the rest of the pack about. 

“Is there something you wanna tell me, Aeth?” Dewdrop asked.

Before Aether could open his mouth, his bedroom door burst open and a shining light filled his room. Aether turned around, seeing a brightly lit Sunshine standing in the doorway. She wore a tanktop that she had pulled down to reveal a small but noticeable amount of cleavage.

“I finally have tits!” Sunshine exclaimed. 

“What the fuck is happening over there?” Dewdrop called out, one of his eyes taking up the screen.

Aether was silent for a moment before his smile grew and he turned his phone around to show Dewdrop the beaming ghoulette. 

“Looks like the hormone treatment is finally showing some results. They look nice, Sunny,” Aether crowed.

“Are they gonna get bigger?” Swiss’s voice called out from behind Dewdrop.

“I sure hope so!” Sunshine giggled, her glow going down as she bounded over to sit next to Aether. Aether rolled his eyes in amusement before grunting in discomfort when Sunshine butted her head against his chest. It had been several weeks since his surgery, but he was still very sore. 

“Still hurts there, Sunny,” he murmured, petting the top of her head.

“Aw shit, sorry. I thought they would be fully healed by now,” Sunshine said. 

“Can I finally see the scars, Aeth?” Dewdrop asked, getting close to the screen once again. Aether grew quiet for a moment. He wanted to save that reveal for when the pack returned home, but Dewdrop had been asking over and over to see it for himself. It was getting harder telling him no.

“You gotta wait, Dewy. Just know that his scars look fucking amazing and I get to have him all to myself until you guys get back,” Sunshine giggled, wrapping her arms around Aether’s belly and giving him a gentle squeeze. Aether chuckled as Dewdrop growled, flipping Sunshine the bird and she returned the favor, sticking out her tongue at him and giving him two birds. 

“It’ll be a special surprise for you guys. You can wait for another few weeks, yeah?” Aether smiled. Dewdrop’s annoyance melted away as he sighed.

“It’s gonna be so long but it’ll be worth it,” he grumbled.

“It will be, firefly. I love you,” Aether cooed.

“Love you too, Aether,” Dewdrop replied. 

“And I love you both,” Sunshine giggled, pecking Aether’s cheek.

“Welp, I’ll leave you two alone then. I’m sure Aether is gonna give those tits some nice attention, Sunny. Tell me everything about it tomorrow,” Dewdrop said, winking at them before ending the call. 

“You wanna see them, Aeth? It’s not much but I’m getting somewhere,” Sunshine asked as Aether put his phone away.

“I’d love to, Sunny. You’ve been wanting this for so long and now you’ve made progress,” Aether said, unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his nearly healed top surgery scars to her. Sunshine’s eyes widened at the sight of them, her smile growing.

“Fuck, your scars look amazing, Aeth. Dew’s gonna be all over them when he gets back,” Sunshine said while scooting back and taking her top off as well. Aether couldn’t help but stare at the ghoulette’s perky little tits and he felt his heart swell with pride and joy. 

“They’re beautiful, Sunny,” he cooed, eager to get his hands on them.

“You can touch mine if I can touch yours,” Sunshine said, inching closer to him with a playful smile.

“Deal, but be gentle,” Aether purred.

[arcanistsanctum]

What Now?

So guys I think the blog has caught up! You will start seeing less of my posts from now on in tumblr. You'll only see posts again either for the next patch releases or the remainder of illustrations and graphics I can scrounge from their websites. I did yet not post several of them, and I thought it's fine to send them later while we wait for patches to drop. Don't worry if I missed something, you can inbox the blog or I post tomorrow while I recheck if I missed any from the category of media I've already archived.

Perhaps I'll also start cleaning backgrounds! But don't request yet. I am still contemplating on if I can fit it into my schedule. Because I plan to also make progress with the blogsite pages, and giving you guys story reaction content because I have a feeling a lot of you want to know. I'd also like to show you my thoughts for anything about Reverse:1999. Besides, we really need to talk more about this game and why it's so good.

Aight, until the next #asks or #updates, my fellow timekeepers! Mwah!

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

(A new form of) WIP Wednesday ?

(Life is a) Work In Progress -Wednesday!

Thank you for tagging me @lemonlyman-dotcom @paperstorm @emsprovisions @nisbanisba very much congrats on the works published, some I absolutely loved, some I’m beyond excited to read!!

Sorry that this isn’t actual writing of mine, but an update in my life-is-a-work-in-progress that I posted for a Seven Sentence Sunday a while back and promised to update on (mostly for my own sake) - even if I tagged you, if you don’t want to read my personal ramblings or participate, feel free to keep on scrolling!!☺️

(OR if anyone wants to, consider this as encouragement to also share something for WIP Wednesday that YOU have either accomplished, look forward to or want to accomplish in the near future for WIP Wednesday !!☺️✨)

These were 7 sentences of things I was looking forward to and working on, but hadn’t yet accomplished a couple of/maybe one and a half months ago:

1) “Guys, I just bought my first binder !”

I did go an buy my first binder, and it was a wonderful experience! I found a physical store in my home time that sold them, and the staff was incredibly nice and knowledgeable and helpful and gave me great advice (if you don’t have access to that where you are, and want to know more, I’d be happy to share it.)

My good friend went with me! The effect was so cool to experience, it felt very great and affirming, and like taking a new step in discovering and being my self - which is a current project of mine that I was happy to act on more and start! My friend got all moved, which was really nice and touching🥹

2) “And the woman with the pretty smile that I danced with at the concert a few weeks ago replied and we’re going on a date🥰”

She did reply! I had been bad at replying to her and after I did, I waited for awhile with no response. I also felt like I had been not very initiative-taking and not very interesting to text with, as my life was very in exam- and stress mode. I decided to show initiative and wrote to her, addressing those things in my message, and she responded really positively, and we begun to find a time for a date! It was supposed to be tomorrow, but today she actually cancelled, explaining that she has been seeing someone over the last month (although nothing exclusive) and she had started to feel serious about and felt she wanted to give that a chance, and so that it wouldn’t be fair to me or that situation, to go on the date. I am actually very okay with that, it was nice that she was so honest and I wished her luck and we ended it on a really nice and respectful note! I’m proud of myself for taking the initiative and not backing out either actively or passively, even though I was very nervous and haven’t dated in a long time! I feel I’m ready to get back in the game and have discovered and been reminded of things that will contribute positively to that!☺️

3) “I handed in my exam before the deadline so now I get to keep my income.”

I sure did!! And I made a new friend along the way. Thank you endlessly to my accountability buddy who I was messaging with the whole night bc of the gift of different time zones while trying to get it done in time @emsprovisions !! I would send you a bunch of flowers if I could💐💐💐 and to desi @herefortarlos for also cheering me on and giving great advice to go touch grass!!!💗💗

This process up until that night was hellish and led me to seriously doubt whether I would make it on time, along with other stuff connected to my mental health and self worth. I’m so relieved and proud that it went okay!!!

3) “And also go to the Diana Ross concert I’ve been looking forward to and have fun without any stress for the first time in the last year!”

She was AMAZING!!! 80 year old Queen of Funk still had it in her I was equally amazed and grateful to experience her.

4) “And otherwise just enjoy the rest of the summer before the semester starts☀️☺️”

I did get some good times with friends and family for sure! It wasn’t everything I’d hoped for bc I was so burned out after my exam, but I feel content and satisfied with the amount of summer vacation in my home town that I managed to have before the semester and fall started🌞🌞

5) “I’ve unpacked all my moving boxes, found my power cable for the TV and picked up my new bike in replacement for the one that was stolen.”

Yep! I love my new little home that is now unpacked and feels lived-in🥰

6) “So now I will sit down in my finished living room after a long day of biking around and enjoying the city in summer and start rewatching Lone Star (again) in preparation for the s5 premiere that is getting closer by the minute!!”

Have been out biking, have sat down in my unpacked living room and watched LS, and am still currently rewatching!! I will need to do some binging to get through all 4 seasons before the premiere which is right around the corner !!! 😬 love rewatching though, I am having so many new thoughts and feelings still after watching so many times so it’s been healing these days as well, to know that it won’t be my last rewatch after the show ends!

7) Whoo!🥳”

That feeling certainly comes and goes, but such is life, I acknowledge😌😌

Sorry and thank you to anyone who made it this far, I’m just really happy that I can actually cross all these things off my list! I struggle a bit with memory and time awareness and I often stress more about new things than remind myself of what I’ve accomplished so I wanted to actually bring this back!

I encourage anyone whether you have writing to share or or not and who wants to (including those of you who’ve already posted a WIP today!) to share some things that you are either working on, wanting to accomplish in the near future, or have accomplished lately and are happy about/proud of!! ✨✨

Call it a new way to participate in WIP tag games, if you will, whether you have writing to share or not☺️

Tagging some people under the cut in case you want to do the same thing, and also some people who responded to my Seven Sentence Sunday so they see the update!:

@carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @thisbuildinghasfeelings @alrightbuckaroo @heartstringsduet @literateowl @ladytessa74 @herefortarlos @emsprovisions @whatsintheboxmh @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @strandnreyes @carlos-tk @pimento-playing-hopscotch @captain-gillian @nancys-braids @corsage @tailoredshirt @nisbanisba @lightningboltreader

[flcwermimi]

— VOID STATE PROGRESS CHART ❜

Hlo everyone so right now my Summer breaks are going on and I've decided to enter the void state because I can and this is my daily routine progress chart though I've decided to share this with you all yesterday but I was unable to post so I am sharing it right now

Ok my routine is simple and right now I am not doing anything in day ( like listening to subliminals or doing robotic affirmation) I am using deep trance hypnosis method which I got to know by @/gorgeouslypink when I came across one her of post she suggested this video and after that when I research a little bit on this topic I get to know that DEEP TRANCE : is altered states that are characterized by profound relaxation and loss of control over the body, as well as a subjective sense of floating or detachment from one's physical self

I kind of found deep trance similar to Void helpful for my brain because it doesn't question around when I am doing this method

So this all for this post right now I will be updating it after doing the method tonight bye luv you all🫶🤍

— 5/07/2024 : okay so update 😭this is hilarious lmao what happened actually is that I thought first I will do some breathing exercises for relaxation & for which I was listening to a video and I didn't knew that my mobile was charge was low on the top of that I fell asleep on my back lol but anyway I when I woke in up the morning I affirm that ' I can enter the void when I want ' I will update tomorrow luv y'all 😌

— 6/07/2024 : y'all probably thought I had give up but no I was in mobile area for few so days so there no internet connection and for update I had change the methods because the voice in hypnosis is too sweet to focus. everytime I found myself wandering in different things. So what I did in next two days was focusing on lucid dreaming

— 7/07/2024 : The whole day I listen to this subliminal ( probably one of the best subliminal I've ever found) while listening to subliminals I affirmed that ' I am always aware when I am dreaming & I lucid dream easily and effortlessly ' I kept doing reality check every hour like biting tounge counting fingers and pinching nose though in the night'I didn't dream😭lmao all I remember was a pitch black so belive I was in void but unaware and I also kept the subliminal on loop so that was the mistake I guess

— 8/07/2024 : Again I did the same routine which I did yesterday but this time I didn't kept the subliminals loop all night instead I started counting while affirming the same affirmation then I fall asleep again when I woke up in the morning I thought it again ended on the same page like yesterday but I was able to recall each and every single details of my dream & I am pretty sure I will Lucid dream tonight will update tomorrow and also I will be making a different post how to shift/tap into void through lucid dream that's all for today luv y'all 🫶🫡

— 9/07/2024 : update so yesterday I did the same routine though I just couldn't sleep on my back because I felt like someone was ripping my scalp out of my skull and I thought I will do that 4-6 hours method for Lucid dream but when alarm woke me up😭💀I was like it's just 4:30 why I am waking up so early?? I forgot what I was doing then fell asleep but anyway each and every step I take I am feeling I am very close to my goal I am very motivated any second you all can get my success story 🤭so hang on lmao will update luv y'all 🤍

— 10/07/2024 : update okay guys I seriously have no idea what happened yesterday's night cause i feel I did have multiple dreams I tired to connect the dot but it doesn't end up anywhere so that's it will update tomorrow 🤍

— 11/07/2024 : i feel like I am having iceberg it's frustrating but okay I didn't follow the routine yesterday cuz I was feeling very low but I will do it again today will update tomorrow 🤍

12/07/2024 : okay okay update I was lucid in my yesterday dream but all of sudden a spider was crawling in my hand💀 an I have Arachnophobia so I just couldn't control the dream and I woke up lmao I will try today not freak out with a spider okay bye will update tomorrow

13/07/2024 : update I just fall asleep normally because I feel I am having burn out so I will took break of three days where I am going for tracking and I will update after that 🤍

14/07/2024 : Break

15/07/2024 : Break

16/07/2024 : Break

17/07/2024 : 😂okay I forgot I was doing void routine but any way will update tomorrow 🤍🫶

18/07/2024 : okay I didn't follow any routine yesterday I did have plenty of works and after doing that I just fell asleep will update tomorrow 🤍

19/07/2024 : okay I didn't did anything different from yesterday I've been busy with the uni addmission process will update tomorrow

20/07/2024 : yesterday I didn't know how but from nowhere I did have alot of symptoms and I was so tired. In my mind I was convienced I am not gonna move but the symptoms were alot I couldn't focus so u gave up will update tomorrow

21/07/2024 : Yesterday I was in sleep paralysis but I heard smthing terrible sound in my earbud it was really terrifying I just can't describe here skskdkshkdsss will update tomorrow 🤍😐

22/07/2024 : I went for bonfire so i didn't did anything after that will update tomorrow

23/07/2024: 😭 seriously I forgot to update

24/07/2024 : Either I am dreaming about spider or someone chasing me with something axe on their hand yesterday I was lucid but I got freak and woke up will update tomorrow

25/07/2024 : 😭 update yesterday I was in hypnagogia state i also had that floating sensation ok ok will update tomorrow skskskssfkss

26/07/2024 : pulled allnight so didn't did anything will update tomorrow

27/07/2024 :

28/07/2024 :

29/07/2024 : hey y'all sorry I haven't updated it two days cause I've been sick it's some kind flu spreading in our area and I don't feel doing the routine so I will update when I get better and yes I will answer your DM thankyou 🤍

- sorry if there are errors I am improving my English

[shamefulsho]

03 || 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 || 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 ♫

✩ - 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 Sero Hanta and L/n Y/n are each others hallway crush. ✩

genre: fluff/slice of life/ pining

requested: no

edited

pronouns: she/her

wc: 1,083

warnings: curse words, suggestive jokes

masterlist || 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 || 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 ♫

          "That's enough for today," Soft sun rays peaked through the gym's windows as Aizawa stood and began collecting his belongings. "Go shower and eat breakfast. And take it easy, overdoing it will give you opposite results."

          Because of his impressive performance during the sports festival, Shinso began his training with Aizawa for the hero course before school hours. Everything he was behind on,  Aizawa helped him with: Quirk training, costume design, support items, and most of all physical training.

          Shinso tiredly stared up at him from his position. He was sparring with Aizawa moments before when he had been body slammed, losing their brawl. Too exhausted to move just yet, he laid there on the cold gym floor, arms and legs littered with bruises.

          With a huff, Shinso forces himself back onto his feet, following his teacher's suit. "Hey, Mr. Aizawa, you're the home room for Class 1A, right?"

          "What of it?" Aizawa glances at him while he wraps his scarf around his hand.

          "What's your opinion of Sero Hanta?"

          Aizawa furrows his eyebrows in curiosity before closing his eyes and runs his free hand over his messy, tied up hair. "He has a good quirk and can use it well. He's not the brightest, but he makes up for it with his up-beat attitude. He'll be a good hero."

         Shinso hums approvingly before slinging his bag over his shoulder and exiting the gym. The grass around them gleamed, mildew still covering it.

         "Why do you want to know about him?" Aizawa questions while falling into step beside his student.

          "No reason,"

          "I answered your question. You answer mine,"

           Shinso hesitates, glancing at his mentors red eyes.  He takes in a deep breath of the clean, crisp air surrounding them before responding. "You aren't the type to involve yourself with student drama, so I guess I can tell you. I have a friend that's seen Sero at lunch, and she's into him. And he's very obviously into her."

           "You're right. I've seen more than enough school drama, drama exactly like that, for one lifetime. If I can help it, I'd rather not get involved,"

           "The problem is they haven't really talked. We only know his name because of the Sports Festival. We know nothing else about him,"

           "Ah, I see,"

            "Yeah, I figured if he was a horrible person, we should find out now rather than get to know the guy, and my friend gets taken advantage of or something similar,"

             "There are a few Class A students I'd suggest avoiding, but Sero isn't one of them. I'd even go as far as to say he's one of the better people in the class," they stopped as soon as they entered the large school, the humid, natural air being quickly replaced with cold, artificial air.

              "Tomorrow, same time, you know the drill," Aizawa reminds him before slinking off in the direction of the teachers' lounge.

             "Right," Shinso responds, heading towards the boys locker room.

              With the half hour he had remaining,  Aizawa took a quick shower before he settled into a corner in the teachers' lounge and attempted to finish updating a progress report on his students. Most of the information came easy; how they have improved and what weaknesses they still have, but there were some students that, while they did improve, it was skills that would improve inevitably with training it regularly.

           He chewed thoughtfully on a granola bar as he stared at Sero's file. The only weakness he could see was that his quirk wasn't necessarily strong. It was versatile but alone wouldn't do damage. Personality-wise, Sero was a fairly confident person. It shocked him that he didn't simply stride up to Shinso's friend and ask her out. Or perhaps he wrongfully assumed he was like Kaminari.

           Aizawa hummed before looking back down at the remaining 9 reports he had to complete. Without a second thought,  Aizawa shut the computer in front of him. He truly couldn't find it in him to be bothered right now.

          Grabbing his sleeping bag, Aizawa walks to his classroom, and as if on cue, the moment he reaches his class's familiar door, the bell loudly echoed through the halls.

           Students, all wearing UA's uniform, file into the halls. In spite of the early hours, each student energetically chatted with someone adjacent to them.

            Aizawa leaned against his door observing, and envying, the energy radiating off each student. Even when he was their age, he didn't have that liveliness.

         As he continued to observe each upbeat kid, a tired Shinso catches his eye, sticking out in the midst of beaming students. His pupil blinks at him repeatedly and harshly at him before gesturing with his eyes to the girl walking beside him, who was gazing affectionately at a very smitten Sero, who walked in the opposite direction of them.

           Sero's cheeks are dusted red and his eyes sparkle as he flashed a soft smile to Shinso's friend, who returned his smile and fiddled with her fingers as they passed each other. Even though the exchange lasted a handful of seconds, it certainly felt like an eternity.

           And, to add insult to injury, as Sero approached the door, he looked over his shoulder to steal one last glance at her disappearing figure, his lovesick smile still plastered on his face.

            Finally turning to take note of his surroundings, Sero immediately locked eyes with his teacher. Aizawa quirked a knowing black eyebrow at him. The faint red on his cheeks deepened and his soft smile morphed to a shocked expression. After a beat, the black-haired boy in front of him flashed an awkward, strained smile at him.

           "Mr. Aizawa! You're early.." he exclaims almost unsurely.

          "Never again," Aizawa sighs while pinching the bridge of his nose as he retreats into his sleeping bag in a corner of the room.

           That was absolutely a reminder of why he didn't get involved in students' affairs. Watching High School drama unfold unfortunately came with the job of being a High School teacher. He noticed how certain pairs in his class looked at each other, but those pairs at least have had a conversation before.

           Shinso was certainly right; it didn't take an expert to see that they were pining for each other. Though, it did take an expert to notice that Sero's patience was wearing. His eyes held a gleam that appeared in training when he was determined to jump into action. Maybe he'll approach her soon.

[obliqueblade]

End of Season 9 + health update (kinda)

So, I finally got a chance to watch most of the Hermits videos about the end of season nine, just finished with Grians, and I was not anticipating that I would cry.

I did. An embarrassing amount.

Something that I haven't talked about in a while, is the recent really bad health crisis I had a few months ago. For those unaware, or who don't remember, I was diagnosed with a form of Lung Cancer almost three years ago.

A few months ago, one of my roommates, allowed her partner into our apartment knowing that they had Covid and didn't tell me or our other roommates. I got sick. Really sick. I don't want to go into too much detail, because it is not pleasant, but since then my doctors and I had to change almost everything about my treatment plan, but the major thing we were unsure of was how would it affect one of my upcoming surgeries.

Originally, this was set for mid-January, but my doctors wanted to run some more tests and make sure that I would be strong enough to undergo it. At the time in late October, they told me they would know for sure by December. And, a few days ago I got the call to go and meet with them.

I'm not strong enough.

Which, essentially means that without this surgery, all they are really going to be able to do is keep me comfortable until I pass.

Obviously, this sucks, and not at all how I had intended things to go. I've not told any of my family, mainly because I don't really know how to at this time. Tomorrow being Christmas it feels wrong to do it now, so I'll probably wait till after the holidays.

Do not worry, I am still making progress on the fic, as it isn't strenuous to do.

Anyway, I felt that I needed to write this with the end of the Hermitcraft season. I had only started watching Hermitcraft during season 8, not long after I had gotten my diagnosis. So season 9 was my first time watching a full season- start to end.

I think that might be one of the reasons I got so emotional towards the end. Realistically, depending on when they start season 10, I won't be alive to see it, let alone the end of it.

Obviously, I'm not saying "they need to start the new season now because I'm dying, and screw how burnt out you guys might feel". That would be ridiculous, and not the point I'm trying to make.

The Hermits introduced me to so much joy, such much creativity, and so much strength. The days I felt like were the end, were made so much brighter, because of the Hermits.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I probably wouldn't have made it through the past two years without them.

So, in the only way that I hopefully can with the time I have left, I want to complete this fic. I want to attribute something back to this amazing community, and the people that got me through so much.

Thank you, Hermitcraft, for making the last few years of my life feel like they were worth living.

[ageofbajabule]

Dawn of Love | Chapter 4

Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.9k

Warnings: Fluff, Anxiety, Sad Jake (just a little scene), Protected Sex, Depression, Talk of Cancer, Arguing, Fear of Abandonment, Mention of Death. (Please let me aware if I miss any!)

If you haven’t read Chapter 3 be sure to do so! And here is the Masterpost for the series.

Author’s Note: Hey!! I know it’s been a long time coming for this update, and I’m sorry it’s not a huge update. Time jumps are happening, especially within the next chapter as well. This chapter is really a filler, but it also adds more to the story that will make sense as it progresses so I do hope you enjoy it. I make sure that my work is up to par, and always give it my all. We’re almost halfway through the series!☺️

October 2014

All the trees have turned over, leaves starting to finally fall off the trees. Michigan was beautiful this time around, and Josh knew it was your favorite season. Perfect time for sweaters and hoodies, bonfires, apple picking and pumpkin patches.

University was offering a fall break a week before Halloween weekend. Josh had opted in making sure you guys had your halloween costumes planned out for Halloweekend here on campus. The costumes he had picked out were great for the two of you.

Josh had mentioned to his parents that the two of you would be staying over at their place for your fall break. Within the past month, your relationship with your dad hasn't been the greatest. He was still concerned about you attending school for a film and photography major. He still thought you should major in something that would “Logically” benefit you.

You felt bad about not staying at home to at least spend time with your mom and sister. But made sure to tell them you would spend time with them before you returned back to campus.

Josh and yourself had been extremely busy working on a film project that was due before your winter break. It was worth 60 percent of your grade. And he was taking every single measure and precaution for this film project. He was making sure the script was perfect, while he had you focus on costumes, make-up. And the two of you together focused on settings, themes, locations and how you were going to film it.

Jake was kind enough to help his twin out with another film. Even Ronnie had decided to join in on the project, a little family affair if you will. Josh said he trusted them to kill their roles they had been assigned. You even had your sister be a part of it as well.

It was finally Friday, Josh and you had your last class of the day. This weekend began your fall break, and the guys had a gig tomorrow night at Fischer Hall. They were excited to be performing there, they actually had been asked to come back a few times as the locals loved their performance. You were absolutely thrilled for them.

On the drive back home, you and Josh had made sure to stop by your house first as your dad was out for the day and your mom and sister were home. You hated having to avoid him, but just did what was best for yourself.

Upon arriving you and Josh made your way into the house, smelling your mom’s baking and hearing your sister’s music playing in the house. “Mom? Olivia?” You called out, walking into the kitchen you find your mom and sister baking cookies.

“Oh hi sweetie! I didn’t even hear you come in.” Your mother giggled softly dusting the flour off of her hands, pulling you in for a hug.

“I was wondering why it smelled so good in here.” You giggled hugging her back. Josh went to hug your sister while your mother kept hugging you.

“Your father is out for the whole day. Went on a fishing trip with the guys.” Your mom pulled away, and immediately went to hug Josh.

You walked over to your sister pulling her in for a hug. “Are they driving you insane these days?” You giggled.

“Always…” She laughed, hugging you tightly.

“Are you guys hungry? I was going to order takeout.” Your mom smiled as she resumed mixing the batter.

Josh and you both nodded in agreement. “Whatever you had in mind will be fine.” He smiled softly.

“I was thinking chinese.” Your mom hummed softly, as she continued to finish making up batches of cookies.

The rest of the evening was filled with laughter, catching up on what’s been going on for you with college. And your sister’s sophomore year, and how close her, Sam and Danny have gotten since you’ve gone off to college. It was nice to catch up with them as you hardly got to call them lately. You’ve been so busy with everything and felt ashamed for not reaching out more.

“Well sweetie, I’ve made up a jar of cookies for you to take back with you to campus. But you can grab them before you go back.” She smiled, putting the jar away to not be touched.

“Thank you mom, for everything. I really don’t know what I’d do without you…” You smiled, pulling her in for a hug.

“Oh, I’ll always be here for you. You know that…” She rubbed your back, hugging you tighter.

“Now, don’t be a stranger you two!” She pulled away smiling at the both of you.

You said your goodbyes to your sister, then headed over to Josh’s place.

Josh opted for parking in the street, as he wanted to let his parents have access to the driveway. He helped grab your bag from the backseat as you entered the house, you could hear his dad playing his harmonica and laughing from inside the family room.

The two of you went downstairs to the basement, preparing the pullout bed. While setting your things down there. Eventually Karen came downstairs to greet the two of you.

“Oh you guys made it in!” She smiled softly pulling you both in for a tight hug.

“Hi mom.” Josh chuckled softly, rubbing her back.

“How have classes been?” She pulled away, putting her hands on her hips.

You and Josh look at each other not sure who to let speak first, but then Josh cuts in.

“Classes have been great! Y/N and I have quite a few together, but some others we don’t.” He rubbed your arm softly.

“Yeah, Josh has been a great help though as well. I thought for sure I was gonna be lost on campus.” You giggled softly.

“It’s nice that the two of you have each other… I’m sure you’ve made plenty of friends though.” She smiled brightly. You smile softly, seeing how similar Josh and Karen’s smiles were.

“That we have. It’s a very different atmosphere, but it’s nice.” Josh smiled.

“Well I know you guys ate already, I talked to your mom Y/N. I’m sure the two of you are tired and want some rest. So I'll leave you to it.” She smiled, kissing Josh and your cheek softly.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Mom.”

“Goodnight Mrs.Kiszka.”

The next day Josh and you were woken up by Jake and Sam bickering.

“No Sam! You can’t just make a last minute change of the setlist. We need to all be in agreement with it.” Jake yelled.

“It’s just because you don’t want to perform this one fucking song!” Sam yelled back at him.

“Samuel Francis!” You heard Karen yell out.

“I’m sorry mom… But seriously Jake. Get over yourself, just say you want total control of it.”

You walked up the steps to see Sam storming past you running upstairs to his room slamming his door shut.

“Good Morning sweetie!” Karen beamed, pulling you into a hug.

You hugged her back, swaying with her. “Good morning!”

She pulled away slowly, and resumed back to making breakfast. Waffles had been made, she was cooking bacon and finishing up the eggs.

“I hope you’re all hungry. Especially for today’s events.” She smiled softly as she finished cooking and getting plates out.

“Let me help you set the table.” You rushed to help her setting the table.

“Thank you.” She smiled, kissing the top of your head.

Eventually Josh made his way from downstairs, heading into the kitchen getting himself orange juice. He helped the two of you with the table.

“Good morning, sunny.” He kissed your cheek softly.

“Good morning.” You hummed softly.

“Samuel, come on down and eat.” Kelly yelled, coming into the dining room.

Everyone eventually piled in, sitting in their normal seats. You could feel the tension between Jake and Sam, as Kelly tried to make a conversation happen with Ronnie. Which worked, Ronnie talked about how she was planning on studying abroad after graduation.

As everyone listened to Ronnie talk about her future plans, you sat back thinking of all the choices you were making lately for yourself. Worrying if you had made the right ones and that you weren’t going to regret then later. But the love you had for photography and film was strong, and you couldn’t see yourself doing anything else but that.

Your thoughts were shortly interrupted by Josh, “What do you think, Sunny?

“I’m sorry, what was the question?” You shook your thoughts away giggling softly.

“My parents were wondering if you wanted to join us this year on our annual ski trip?”

Karen and Kelly were looking at you smiling softly.

“If it’s not a problem, I’d love to join!” You smiled brightly.

“Of course it’s not a problem! You’re a part of the family now.” Kelly chuckled softly.

Arriving at Fischer Hall brought back memories from the first night the guys performed there. They were so nervous, but now they frequently play a show here. And since then they’ve earned quite the audience. You were helping bring gear into the Hall, helping the guys set up.

Since being around them more, you’ve learned where everything goes, how to help tune Jake’s guitar. You’ve probably remembered some notes by now even. But you wouldn’t ever pick up an instrument.

Jake was agitated tonight, it was plain to see in his face. You normally let him come to you if something was bothering him, but tonight was the night you would ask him yourself. He was hanging around the back, pacing back and forth.

“Hey Jake… What’s going on?” You said softly as you treaded lightly.

“Val. She uh. She wanted to-“ He let out a big breath. “She broke things off.” He said flatly, his eyes glossed over.

“Oh Jake… I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something sooner?” You pulled him into a hug.

He hugged you back tightly, “It only happened just this morning… Hence why I was being an ass to Sam.” He sniffled while chuckling.

You giggled, pulling away slowly, “He’ll understand one day.”

“Yeah, and besides… I should’ve known that she wasn’t going to stick around much longer. She’s in her senior year, and her dad thinks we’re going absolutely nowhere with the band… Maybe it's better off this way.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, I for one think you guys are going places. The talent you all have! Come on.” You smiled softly.

“Thanks Y/N… You have no idea how much that means to us, especially Josh…”

You nodded, smiling softly. “Come on, it’s almost time for y’all to perform.”

Especially Josh… What had he meant by that?

December 2014

Winter break had finally come, Michigan weather wasn’t easy to adjust to. Even after living two winters here. Classes wouldn’t restart until a week after the new year, so you had an entire month of freedom from classes.

Josh and yourself were excited to finally be done with your first semester. Your final project for your film class that the two of you had worked on was a major success.

You had decided on staying at the Kiszka’s house again over your winter break. Things with your dad were still rocky, you were absolutely convinced he would never change his view on your passion.

Arriving at their house, the front lawn and front of the house was decorated in Christmas decor. You smiled softly as Kelly was helping Karen finish the last touches to the snowflake lights they were placing alongside the house.

“Oh hey kiddos! We’re just finishing up.” Karen smiled softly finishing the last touches as Kelly helped her down.

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Kiszka!” You smiled hauling your bag with you as Josh followed behind.

“Oh honey please, call me Karen. You’ve known us long enough now, and you’re family.” She giggled softly pulling you in for a hug.

Family. You hadn’t felt so welcomed in what felt like a long time. Sure everything with your sister and mom were good, but since things were still rocky with your dad it made it difficult to feel like a family with them.

“Now we are set to leave around 8am tomorrow. It’s about a 5 hour drive. But the boys always just sleep on the way there.” She giggled softly.

“I’ll be okay to sit in a car for 5 hours. I’ve sat in one for 16…” You groaned remembering back on the trip back to Florida one year.

“Besides, sunny you’ll have me to keep you company.” Josh kissed your cheek softly, he gathered your things, throwing what was going on the ski trip into his parents vehicle. While taking the rest into the house.

Karen ushered you to go inside, you smiled walking into their home seeing their Christmas tree was put up with just the lights.

“We were waiting for the two of you to get home before we decorated the tree.” Karen smiled, pulling the box of ornaments out.

“It's a family tradition to help out decorating the tree together.” Kelly rubbed Karen’s back.

You smiled in awe of them. As they opened the box, revealing all of the ornaments they’ve collected over the years. You smiled softly looking at the ornaments made for each of them for their first christmas. You traced your finger over the details of Josh’s first ornament.

“Oh Josh was the cutest baby…” Karen sighed softly, reminiscing. “All of you were cute!” She laughed, looking at them all.

“It’s okay mom, we know Josh is the favorite.” Ronnie chipped in.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Josh bickered back, as Ronnie giggled.

“Mama’s boy.”

“Okay Ronnie. Daddy’s girl.” He rolled his eyes at her. You playfully smacked his arm, “Be nice to your sister.”

He stuck his tongue out at you playfully. The two of you and everyone else started to put ornaments on the tree. After about a few minutes of setting the ornaments in their rightful place the last thing to be added was the star.

“Jake, would you do the honors?” Kelly asked, handing him the star. Jake nodded, taking it from his hands, stepping on the step stool placing the star on top of the tree and plugging it into the lights.

Once he stepped down carefully everyone stood back admiring the tree before Sam plugged it in. “Go ahead Sammy.” Karen smiled at him softly.

Sam then plugged the lights into the outlet, making the tree come to life. It was all colorful and beautiful. Everyone gasped in awe. “Good work everyone.” Karen smiled, clapping her hands.

The rest of the night was spent making dinner with Karen for the family. She ended up making the boy's favorite dish, as well baking some brownies to end the night.

“You know Y/N… You bring the best out in Joshua.” Karen smiled softly as she put away the clean dishes.

You smile softly looking out to the family room seeing Josh getting into a serious card game with his siblings. “I like to think he brings the best out in me…” You blushed, turning your attention back to his mom.

“Anytime he needs help with planning your dates, he always calls me. Freaking out if he’s doing the right things, saying the right things. And I always assure him that he’s doing just fine.” She giggles softly, finishing up with the dishes.

“So you’re the mastermind…” You giggled while taking a sip of your hot tea.

“Ah, not necessarily. I just tell him to speak and think with his heart. I play no part in planning.” She giggled while taking a sip from her mug.

“You are raising great boys Mrs. Kiszka…”

“Call me Karen… We’ve gone past this, you’re family now.” She walked over to you pulling you in for a hug.

You hugged her back tightly. “Thank you guys for letting me be a part of this… It means a lot to me. More than you will ever know.”

“Oh sweetie,” She pulled away slowly, grabbing your face with her hands. “You are always loved and accepted here. Don’t you ever doubt that for a second.”

You felt tears brimming at your eyes. She wiped them away quickly. “I know things have been hard with your father… Your mom and I speak all the time. And I just want you to know, don’t ever be afraid to reach out to us.”

You nodded slowly, gathering yourself. “Thank you…”

“Come on, let’s see what these hooligans are up to.” She patted your arm softly.

The drive to the ski resort wasn’t too bad. A little cramped and bumpy, but fun nonetheless. The cabin they have reserved was beautiful, it was almost similar to the lake house they had. Josh and yourself got your own room, everyone did actually this time. You all unpacked your bags, then got in your skiing gear.

Josh, Jake, and yourself opted for snowboarding on your trip here. Where everyone else was going skiing. You liked the thrill better of snowboarding than skiing. Especially the flexibility that came with snowboarding. You grabbed your board, following behind Jake as Josh walked beside you.

The three of you then hopped onto the lift, taking in the scenery as you went up the trail. “This is really beautiful here…”

Josh smiled, “You’re beautiful.”

“Oh, how original Josh.” Jake chuckled, as you lightly smacked him.

“It’s definitely beautiful out here. We’ve been coming here for what…. 6 years Josh?” He looked at his twin.

Josh then nodded, “Yeah. We used to go to another ski resort for years before we found this one. This one was closer and had a lot more to offer.”

Before you knew it, you reached the top to get off of the lift. You walked over to the hill incline where everyone started to go down the slopes to ride their snowboards.

“Don’t be nervous, it’s a little scary at first. But you’ll get the hang of it.” Josh smiled, rubbing your cheek softly.

“I’ll be fine.” You smiled softly, kissing him.

He kissed you back, then pulled away as he pulled his goggles down and put his mask to cover his face from the harsh wind. In which you did the same, you then placed your feet into your board clipping your feet into place.

Eventually Jake had already made his way down the trail, picking up speed as he went. Like the dare devil he was. You decided to take your time down the slope when you first pushed yourself to go. Josh stayed somewhat behind you to keep an eye out for you. You giggled softly as you started to pick up the speed, and went around people on the trail. Josh now had to keep up with you, you looked back to see he was practically on your tail now.

You could see him shaking his head as he chuckled. You finally reached the bottom of the slope, removing your goggles while looking over at Josh who just stopped.

“Not bad for your first time there, sunny…” He smiled softly.

“I guess I had a good teacher.” You shrugged, laughing softly. Making him shake his head as he broke into laughter.

Late July 2015

First year of college had been relatively the easiest year. But your next year wasn’t going to be, you had even more classes to take this semester than the last two. Assignments were bigger, and tests were worth more to your final grades as you read some of the requirements for said classes.

Josh and yourself had spent most of the summer at each other’s houses. Your father had tried to work better on your relationship, but it was still rocky. You were only ever really home for the sake of your mom and sister. The guys have been picking up more gigs and have recently been working with a record label in talks of potentially signing. You couldn’t be any happier for them.

The guys and yourself took a day trip to their family’s lake house. Josh wanted to get you out of the house and away from home to get your mind off things. He always made sure you were in touch with nature, said it helps cleanse the mind. Which you couldn’t argue with that.

You were looking forward to spend a day away. You hadn’t been giving yourself the much needed time away. Josh had planned a small picnic for the two of you, and made it clear to the guys he didn’t want them bothering the two of you. The two of you walked to the other side of the lake where another dock was at. He laid everything out for your small picnic, where in the distance Sam, Danny and Jake looked like little beings. You never took in how big the land was here.

“Sunny, can you pull out the strawberries?” He smiled softly at you as he placed everything else out. You nodded, reaching into the basket pulling out the strawberries. Noticing they were covered in chocolate.

“How did you know!” You smiled softly, looking over at him.

“A little birdie told me.” He smiled, kissing your cheek.

You blushed at the thoughtfulness. Chocolate covered strawberries were one of your favorite snacks. Especially in the summertime. You pulled one out offering it to Josh first, in which he obliged by taking a bite. He then grabbed one feeding it to you. Giggling softly you eat from his hand.

“Thank you for taking me out today…” You sighed softly.

He nodded, “I figured we could both use a day away from reality.” He grabbed your hand, rubbing it softly with his thumb.

You looked at all of the trees, listening to the birds chirps and the summer breeze rolling through making the trees bustle. Breathing in the fresh air, as Josh slipped behind you letting you rest against his chest. He began to play with your hair, running it through slowly. Humming contently as he massaged your scalp.

“I love you…” It came out rather quietly from your lips.

“I love you…” You could tell he was smiling by the tone of his voice.

His hand one hand traveled down your arm slowly, lightly tracing down to your wrist and dragging it back up. Giving you goosebumps as he did that. You giggled softly, running your hand along his free hand.

His hand then crept its way across your abdomen, slipping down your waistline slowly as he stills his hand. “Is this okay mama?”

Your breath got caught in your throat, “Y-yes…” You nodded softly, leaning into his touch. As he slipped his hand past your bikini bottoms, his fingers gently brush over your bundle of nerves causing a slight gasp to escape your lips.

“All this for me…” He whispered against the shell of your ear, nibbling at it softly.

“All for you….” You moaned quietly as his ring and middle finger slipped inside of you. He pumped them slowly as he planted kisses down your neck.

Biting your lip softly, you look out at the lake to see if anyone would notice such a lewd scene. But you were broken out of your trance.

“They are too far away from here to even notice… Just let go for me… I know you’re there, I can feel you tightening around my fingers.” He kissed your cheek softly.

You nodded slowly, letting your orgasm wash over you as he kept pumping his fingers. You moaned his name out, he let you come undone holding you close to him. You could feel his erection pressing into your backside.

Sitting up as you turn around to face him you see his honey glazed eyes. You giggled softly, slipping your hand into his swim trunks, taking him firmly in your hand pumping slowly.

“Baby…” His breath hitched,

“Shh… It’s my turn to take care of you.” You smiled softly, pulling his trunks down to reveal his hardened cock. You could see the tip was leaking with his arousal swiping it gently with your thumb rolling it over, causing a hiss from him.

Gently you take him into your mouth, settling yourself between his legs, you took every inch of him slowly without making yourself gag. You had been working on getting better with it, he always assured you that you didn’t have to go down on him. But the thing is, you liked to.

Hearing your name fall from his lips made you hum in response, you started to pick up the pace by using your one hand to stroke him as you bobbed your head up and down. Your saliva coating his cock as you take him into your mouth.

His head rolled back, as his eyes did too. His one hand took a grip to your hair, holding it back for you as you kept sucking him off.

“Baby… You keep going l-like that. I’m not gonna last much longer…” He was twitching slightly, you removed your mouth, sighing softly.

“I need to feel you.” He kissed your lips softly, grabbing a condom from the basket he had made up.

“Always prepared…” You giggled softly, removing your bottoms as he ripped open the package placing the rubber over his dick.

“As much as I’d love to have kids with you, one day. But today’s not the day.” He chuckled, laying you down gently on the towels he brought along. He lined himself up with you, teasing your entrance.

“I thought you were just saying you needed to feel me?” You got cocky with him, earning a shit grin from him.

“Don’t be a brat…” He growled at you. With that he slipped himself inside of you, earning groans from the both of you.

Slowly he began pumping in and out of you with languid strokes. You wrapped your arms around his back, pulling him closer to you as your legs wrapped around his waist. He bent down kissing your lips softly, eager to kiss him back, slipping your tongue into his mouth.

Panting for one another has he kept at his strong pace, he lifted your one leg to rest against his chest to get a better angle. To hit deeper, you let out a cry of pleasure. He smirked, kissing the inside of your leg as he kept thrusting harder.

“J-josh…” Your eyes rolled back as he kept hitting that spot he knew so well.

“I know baby…” He moaned out, his hair sticking to his forehead.

You felt the band inside of you ready to snap, with the next few thrusts your thighs started shaking as you let your second orgasm come over you. Josh’s hips stuttered as he came as well, breathing heavily he kissed your lips softly.

“You’re so perfect, my sunshine…”

Early October 2015

Josh and yourself got assigned to the same dorm building again. This time the two of you were on the same floor. Your classes this semester only two of them you shared, whereas all the other courses you were by yourself. But the upperhand of that was room for you to grow.

You started to get more involved in your photography, earning more clients with your work. And take it upon yourself to start a short film with a classmate. Josh encouraged you to take a leap at a new project with a new partner rather than working with him all the time.

Your parents had called you urgently this Friday and asked you to come home for the weekend, in which you couldn’t argue as you missed them. Josh opted to stay on campus this weekend being he had a project to work on.

Arriving home, it was dead silent in the house. You looked around, calling out for anyone.

“In here pumpkin…” Your dad called out, heading towards the dining room is where your family sat. Looking like an intervention.

“What’s going on?” Your nerves are catching up with you now, as you fidgeted with the chair pulling it out to sit beside your sister.

“Y/N, sweetie. Your father… well.” Your mother’s voice was breaking as she tried to speak.

“I have kidney cancer.” He said out flatly.

You felt your heart sink, like an anchor lowering to hold its ship. Tears started to form, “How long have you known…”

“It’s only been 3 months…” Your father choked out.

“Why didn’t you tell me then!” You felt angry with your father and that they waited this long to tell you.

“Because you were getting ready to go back onto campus… And we didn’t want to drop it onto you, until it got serious.” Your mother spoke softly.

“I have to stay here, I can take a couple weeks off. Help around…”

Your parents shook their heads, “No you can’t jeopardize your education.”

You sniffled back tears, “No. I want to take a break. I need to be here with you… We haven’t been on the best of terms, and I’m not going to potentially lose you without spending more time with you.”

“Honey, my days are filled with chemotherapy… I don’t think you want to see me go through all of that…”

“Dad. You have always been there for me, it's our turn. Let me be here for you. Just for a couple weeks? I’ll go back after Thanksgiving break. I can talk to my professors and I'm sure they will understand.” You walked over to him kneeling beside him.

“Pumpkin. It’s shouldn’t be too much of anything to worry about. The doctor’s are hopeful the treatments will work. They’ve seen great results.” He smiled cupping your cheek wiping away your fallen tears.

“I promise I will go back after Thanksgiving break. Just please… Let me be here with you. I will never forgive myself.”

“Alright, fine. But you are going back after Thanksgiving break. And be sure to have all your professors know.” He gave a half smile, hurt that his daughter was giving up her schooling to spend time with him.

It had been 2 weeks since hearing the news, immediately that night you had called Josh letting him know everything. And that you wouldn’t be returning to classes until after Thanksgiving break. He was understanding of your choice and supported it all.

Josh kept you up to date on all the things happening on campus. In which you were grateful for, but it made you feel like you were missing out on so much, although you wanted to be here for your dad through these hard times. Especially with helping your sister get through her junior year, Sam was helping her with her assignments over the last two weeks as well.

Josh’s POV

It has been almost 3 weeks since Y/N found out about her father having cancer. Hearing she was taking a break from school broke my heart, knowing how much it meant to her. But, she always knew what was best for her.

Lately I’ve been questioning what I want to do with my life… Film has always been such a passion for me, but this whole music thing with Jake is really starting to become something. And I’m terrified to even explain that to her, she would be heartbroken to find out I’ve decided to drop out.

I have to do this right…

I decided to pack up my things and make my way home, but not without stopping at Y/N’s first. Parking in her driveway, I get out of my car nervously walking up to the front door knocking softly. Her mother opens the door, surprised to see me.

“Oh my god, Josh… It’s so good to see you sweetie.” She pulled you in for a hug.

“It’s good to see you, is Y/N home?”

She pulled away slowly, nodding her head. “Josh… She’s. She needs you I think more than ever…” You could see the tears forming in her eyes.

Nodding softly, you make way to Y/N’s room. Knocking softly on her door you hear silent sobs. “It’s unlocked…”

You step in quietly finding her lying underneath the covers. “Sunny…”

Hearing her shuffle from under the bed, “Josh?” She sat up fixing her hair, she looked like she had been crying for a while.

“Yeah, it’s me.” You smiled softly as your heart broke looking at her in this state. You slipped your shoes off and slipped under the sheets with her.

She wrapped herself around you tightly, sobbing into your chest. You wrapped your arms around her tightly, running your hand through her hair.

“I’m so scared Josh… I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose him.”

“Hey… Don’t think that way. Everything is going to be fine. He’s going to get through this, he’s a strong man.” You soothed her, kissing the top of her head.

You felt your nerves getting to yourself. It’s now or never Josh…

“Sunny, I have something to tell you…”

She looked up at you, “What’s wrong?”

“So I’m staying home.”

“Oh are you going back after Thanksgiving like me?” She smiled softly, caressing your cheek.

You shook your head slowly, “I actually won’t be returning at all…” You let out under a whisper.

“W-what?” She choked on her words.

“I dropped out, to start focusing on this music thing more with Jake.” There, it was out. You said it.

“Josh I don’t understand… I thought you said film was your dream?” She sat up facing you.

“It is, or was. I don’t know, Jake really thinks we can take off. We’ve been speaking to an agent for some time now…” You held her hands.

She shook her hands away, standing up from the bed. “No! This isn’t how it’s supposed to be…” She started sobbing.

Her POV

Josh stood up from your bed. “Sunny…”

“Don’t, sunny me! Josh… You said, you even. You told me you were going to stick with it… Even if you guys went somewhere with this…” You ran a hand through your hair.

“I thought you would be supportive of this!” He was upset now.

“I am, it’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“Josh, this is a lot to handle right now…” You sighed.

“You don’t think I know that? Your mother was crying to me, worried about you. That has me worried sick. I’m not going anywhere, just because I’m not chasing after my original dream doesn’t mean I’m not excited about this new journey.” He grabbed you by the shoulders making you look at him.

“Josh… But what if you leave me? What if you find someone that…” You looked at him with tears in your eyes.

“Y/N, I love you. And I’m always going to be here. You’re my sunshine. Forever. I’m not going anywhere.” He caressed your cheek with his thumb.

“Promise.” You looked at him scared.

“Promise.” He held your hand up kissing it softly.

“No more secrets. I want to know everything…” You sighed softly.

He nodded in agreement, “I won’t hide anything… I swear.”

You nodded, wrapping yourself in his arms, hugging him tightly as you sobbed in his arms from everything that was going on. You felt alone, but you knew you weren’t. It was hard times right now, and you could only hope that they would get better. Or so you thought…

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To be continued

Taglist-

@laneygvf @sacredthefran @fkfearandliveyourlegend @hi-hi-hello11 @gretnavannfleet @themoreyou-love @gvfmuse @meetingthestardust @myleftsock @jordie-gvf-admin @radmads-gvf @twistedmelodies @thunderstomp-and-tequila @sinsofstardust @vanillabear27 @dharma-divine33 @holybananafuck @thecoldwind @gretavanmoon @maren-gvf @itsafullmoon @gretasfallingsky @wagnerbrainrot

[23fallencomets]

i’m not gonna lie my guys, this break up fic is kinda hard to write 😭😭 i had to scrap the original draft because it wasn’t moving the way i wanted it to so the snippet i posted doesn’t really make sense. Maybe i’ll use it in another fic.

i’m not used to writing angst is my problem as all my fics have as little angst as i possibly can handle. This is good practice though.

This draft is progressing pretty well as i have 3k words written, but i’m trying not to rush it, so trust it will be posted as soon as possible.

the loose schedule is to post the break up fic as late as maybe Friday or saturday, with hopefully a Creatures in Heaven update, i promise a double update but life keeps happening. unfortunately, im just kind of lost on how to continue but i don’t want to put it on hold, so if you guys have any suggestions or little things you’re curious about, pls don’t hesitate to drop an ask

I’ll be drafting the Landoscar fic from the poll which nonfamous!Oscar x F1 Driver!Lando won, in the meantime and i’ll post another loscar fic poll either later tonight or tomorrow.

You are More than just a dream (Mentor!Logan to f1 drivers Kimi and Ollie) has entered its fourth draft (🙄) because i’m indecisive on how it’ll go. This one is taking me a bit longer, but my self imposed deadline is mid-august to have it published.

anyway, thanks for reading through this 💞💞