#i will try though i hate having so much on the backburner. i just wanted to give a general update on things

[causticsunshine]

.

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream as NIKI songs.

AN: I'm a huge Niki fan, so...I need to do this. 

Mark Lee ; La La Lost You

If I'm honest, I'd call, but I'm trying to let go And I hope you're happy, livin' life in taxis But you'll always have me, you'll always have me

La La Lost You has a lot of US references, that's why it reminded me of Mark so much! AND I know that this is breakup song but you know what? This one of the reason why it suit Mark so much! Because imagine being with someone at an unfamiliar place, trying to find home in the form of him and then you guys broke up! And every places just reminds him of you, and you couldn't help but wonder if he's also coping from the break up or has he moved on already. 

Huang Renjun ; Every Summertime

Baby, I'd give up anything to travel inside your mind Baby, I fall in love again come every summertime

No doubt that Renjun is the definition of summer, that's why Every Summertime suits him so much!! It's cute and a bubblegum pop. Reminds you of a high school love and the summer you spent with him. Everything is just so wholesome with Renjun, even though you two have grown together, you will always reminisce about the summers with him. Oh my god this is so cute and wholesome because imagine just watching the summer sun set with Renjun the love of you life. :< 

Lee Jeno ; Urs

You come see me, only when I ask first When you kiss me, do you wish it were her? The best at bein' the worst

I don't why but this is so Jeno-coded. It's the push back in the lyrics and not knowing where to stand! Imagine the angst and the pain, you don't know what your status is, and you're just standing there wondering when he will acknowledge you! When will he give you assurance about you two, and yet, you crave for him, and you want him! You are willing to throw away yourself for Jeno. (I would too.)

Lee Haechan ; Autumn

And I love you but with you It's heartache I breathe You gave it your all, just with everything you took from me

It was hard to find a song that suit Haechan the most but I kinda lean on Autumn for the reason that it's such an upbeat yet heartbreaking song. Imagine being with Haechan, literally throwing everything for him, and yet you found yourself still alone in the relationship. And it's a sequence of misunderstanding and a lot of hurt! no comfort, just hurt! You love Haechan so so much that you became empty with and without him. 

Na Jaemin ; Backburner

Hey, are you still there? Good

Let's be real, Jaemin is the type of person who'll make someone a backburner. You're just one unlucky girl who's willing to be his. You have that push and pull affection towards Jaemin. At first, you hated him for leading you onto nothing but when he shows you the affection that you've been craving for, you'll throw everything away just to be with him. And it sounds so stupid but it's Jaemin! And you couldn't blame him for what he did, because you're still hoping that maybe someday, you won't be his backburner anymore. 

Zhong Chenle ; Strange Land

With you, love was simple My spiritual crystal But now life is limbo I'll wait for tomorrow

It's the mixture of "right person, wrong timing" and "wrong person, right timing" type of relationship. Chenle just suits this song so much, like a summer love affair that happened in the strangest town. Something sparked between the two of you and the whole summer just felt so right only for you, while for Chenle, he thinks that it's just a summer thing. It probably something that he'll get over immediately but hopes that someday you two cross paths again. 

Park Jisung ; Take A Chance With Me

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take I'll be your safety net, so why not raise the stakes?

LISTEN!!! This is so shy guy who has a crush on you type of song!! This is so Jisung-coded!! It's like you two has a crush on each other, (he doesn't know) and you're just dropping hints for him to confess but he's just!! too! shy! to! do! so!! it's a frustrating because you're just there waiting for him to confess!! I can imagine this the type of song you'll sing in public while Jisung is right there, trying to decipher your hint. It's such a cute and lively song so it suits Jisung too :< Jisung, just one chance pls JOKE. 

[epickiya722]

Yeah, I think the issue I have with people who criticize Yuji is that they focus too much on what he can do that they don't actually stop and really look at his character.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm a Yuji expert. And I don't think what he can do isn't amazing because damn it, I'm living for my boy hitting those Black Flashes!! Yes, to those claws!!

But at the same time, what really reeled me in is how Yuji behaves. It's his personality. It's how he thinks, what he says, what he does that captured my attention and honestly? I think that's what Gege wants the audience to focus more on. Not Yuji's physical capabilites, but his actual character.

Not saying it's completely true, but that's my guess.

A lot of what happens in the story isn't because these characters have awesome ass abilities. It's because of their own behaviors. Their drive to do whatever it is because of their personalities, their experiences, their beliefs.

Think about why they're able to use cursed energy. Their emotions. Why curses exist? Emotions.

Yuji being able to do all these techniques actually isn't something that just came out of nowhere.

It was already hinted at way in the beginning. Gojo did make that remark that Yuji would be able to use Sukuna's technique. Turns out, he was right! Yuji is now able to use his own version of Shrine. (I also have other thoughts about those other techniques but for now I'm keeping that on the backburner. But I don't think that was the only hint. That's for another day though!)

Let's stop and think why, storywise, Yuji can now do the techniques.

Here's my guess!

Because they weren't a vital part of his character to begin with. His abilities are part of his character, but they're not the focus. If so, Yuji would have expressed jealousy over others doing techniques. If so, Yuji would have expressed his goal to getting stronger so that he can be the best. If so, we would have gotten a training montage of each ability. But no!

Yuji's most important part of his character is the fact that he is selfless. It's the fact that he has this good heart. His biggest strength is his ideals. Sukuna hates that. Sukuna has started to really lose his composure once he realizes why he hates Yuji so much. Sukuna never expressed anger until now and who is the cause? Yuji. Sukuna never had to question why he was feeling conflicted. The cause? Yuji, it's Yuji again.

And again, it's not because of his abilities. It's because of how Yuji is.

I think back to what Yuji's grandfather told him.

"You're a strong kid so try to help others."

At first, I did think he meant that Yuji is physically strong. But then the more I think about it, the more I do not think that is just it. Wasuke may not just be referring to only his physical strength. It may have also meant his strong character. (Personally, I feel like Wasuke can read people and probably why he just knew something was up with Kaori because she wasn't herself, but that's for another day.)

Yuji has that strong heart, that strong resolve, that good nature. Because of that good nature Wasuke wanted his grandson to be able to have people care about him not because of what he can do, but because of who he is. He wanted Yuji to show that to people. Think about what happens after. Yuji did start to put himself on the line to help because he took his grandfather's words to heart. He risked saving Megumi, someone who he didn't even know like that, because he is a good kid.

It's why Megumi wanted Gojo to do what he can to save Yuji from execution.

Think about his relationships with the other characters. Him and Nobara practically act on the same wavelength. What was it that got Todo to even declare himself as Yuji's best friend? Similar interests. How about what allowed him to be accepted into Jujutsu High? His test of character.

To simply put, Yuji is just more than what he can do physically. I think some people are so used to "action this and action that" and "MC has amazing abilities and can kick ass" that, no matter the genre, people who engage in this stories don't care to actually stop and examine the other traits the character has.

No, people are so focused on "Left, Right, Good Night", that anything else Yuji has done and said gets looked over.

I don't think Yuji is a "weak protagonist" and sometimes I do take the time out to reread over Gege's writing because it just feels like there's more than what is being shown.

I actually hate the whole thing of comparing mangakas' work to criticize because even if they're taking inspiration from one another, they're not trying to be like that other mangaka exactly. They have their own each individual style and some styles take more time to understand.

You don't have to like it or you're being forced to.

In the case of JJK and with Yuji Itadori, sometimes, how about don't stop at the techniques?

[macgyvermedical]

Hi! For the pharmaceutical history: I'd like to know more about the history of loratadine. (If that one's boring, I'm sorry - I'm just really curious about allergy medicine history) Hope you're doing good!

Loratadine (Claritin, approved in 1988) was not the first nonsedating (second generation) antihistamine, but it wanted to be. Terfenadine (Seldane, from a competing manufacturer, approved in 1985) was the first. And because terfenadine got to the FDA just ahead of loratadine, loratadine was put on the FDA's backburner, delaying it's entrance to the market by over 3 years.

Loratadine made up for this by marketing the absolute sh*t out of their drug. If you were watching TV or reading magazines in the late 80s or early 90s, you probably remember. Loratadine was prescription only at the time. But direct-to-consumer advertising still had rules. By the early 1990's you couldn't have an ad that was selling a drug without a list of the side effects. And when you're trying to sell a non-drowsy antihistamine on the merit that it was non-drowsy, having to list the fact that the #1 side effect was still drowsiness didn't go over so well. This wasn't an issue in print so much- you could make the print about the side effects as small as you wanted, and who was going to read 3-pt font? But you couldn't do the same in a TV spot.

This was a problem for the company selling Claritin. So instead of making TV ads for the DRUG Claritin, they decided to sell the BRAND Claritin instead. So the ads just never said that Claritin was a drug, or what it did. They just said things like "Claritin is the non-drowsy brand" and "ask your doctor about Claritin" and the ever popular "live Claritin clear."

"But Ross," you might be asking yourself, "whatever did Claritin do to sell to the previously untapped market of children as drug consumers? I simply must know!" Well, you're in luck, because in 1998, and this is real, they released a 12-page Batman comic centered around Tim Drake having allergies that interfered with his crimefighting career. All other antihistamines made him too drowsy, so thank goodness he went to his doctor to get a prescription for Claritin!

You might also be wondering how insurance companies felt about having to pay for on-patent allergy medication (spoiler alert, they hated it, just like they hate paying for everything). Well, also in 1998, Anthem (the insurance company) petitioned the FDA to approve Claritin as an over-the-counter medication. If a medication was over the counter, they wouldn't have to pay for the medication, nor would they have to pay for the associated doctor's visits to get prescriptions for the medication. The FDA approved the petition, but it wasn't until 2002, when the patent had expired, that the company that made Claritin finally released an over the counter version. Even today, though, over the counter loratadine is so much more expensive than other second generation antihistamines. I couldn't figure out why this is, or why people keep buying brand name Claritin when there's like 5 other cheaper non-drowsy antihistamines to choose from.

Finally, I'll wrap up by telling you about the fate of terfenadine. See, turns out terfenadine is super cardiotoxic, especially when combined with certain antibiotics. It got taken off the market in 1997 after quite a few people died. It was replaced with fexofenadine, a metabolite of terfenadine without the cardiotoxic properties.

[sliceofcake-cupoftea]

How to tell Cobra

Character(s): Smokey (x reader), "Cobra" Junpei Hino

Plot Line: Even though you were twins, Cobra was born before you. This meant he would be your big brother; no matter what you or he could do about it. He took this to heart and protected you fiercely from everything. However, what happens what you end up in a situation and you have to tell your protective older brother something he rather not hear?

Warnings: Anxiety, Angst, Inappropriate comedy (18+), talks of terminal Illness, High & Low violence

How does one tell Cobra something. 

Even as his younger sister (though only by an hour, which you remind him of constantly) you ask yourself that often. For it is often that Cobra messes up and has to tell you something. Like the time Yamato and him broke your doll house or the time he accidentally lost all your history notes that he stole before a big exam. 

So whenever you messed up, it was hard to tell him. 

Usually there would be a right time or a moment you could bring it up. But, you didn’t think such a thing existed in this situation.

Put simply, you were pregnant. 

More precisely three months along now but you’ve known since you were two weeks in. The main problem was. You haven’t told anyone…

Not Naomi. Not Yamato. Not Noboru. And definitely–Definitely–not Cobra. 

The reason was simple. You were scared. Not just by their reaction when they find out you are pregnant. But by whom. 

Smokey.

Life worked in strange ways. Everyone would be shocked when they found out. How the hell did you two meet? They likely wouldn’t think you two had anything in common. Turns out it was the simple things. You both cared deeply about family and you both hated to be a burden to the ones you loved and adored. The two of you grew close over those two simple things. Extremely close on nights when one of you needed comfort. 

Was it love? Was it a close friendship? It was hard to determine.

It’ll be alright. We’ll figure it out.

You still remembered Smokey’s words when you told him. Always so calm and always so sweet; thinking of others before himself. Even as he tried to keep calm and collected, you could see by how his hands ever so slightly shook as he took yours that he was scared. Afraid. 

Smokey has never been in good health since you’ve known him. While you’ve helped him go to a doctor, they didn’t have much help to give. A lung transplant; that's the only thing that could stop his deteriorating health. All he could do was wait and maybe–if he was lucky–get a donation to pay for the surgery. But the chances were few and far between. So, he could only take some pills to keep himself stable and put his health on the back burner for now. 

Would he live long enough for the child to grow up? What would happen if you were left all alone? Even though he didn’t say it, you knew those were the questions that were clouding Smokey’s mind. 

It’ll be alright. We’ll figure it out.

You allowed him to hold you that night. Ignoring the worried calls from Cobra and the others when you didn’t return home. Only in the morning messaging a simple ‘I’m okay’ to them even though you weren’t. You and Smokey going your separate ways as the sun rose early in the morning. Him needing to return back to the Rude Boys and you needing to return back to Sannoh.

Life worked in strange ways. It really did.

It really fucking did.

“I can’t believe this,” You mumble, likely looking a little pale as you stare down at the stack of ultrasound photos. Each one of the Rude Boys wanting a photo of their precious niece/nephew so you had to ask for quite a few. Usually one would have their first ultrasound at 6 to 9 weeks but due to you working full time and bills needing to be paid, you had to wait until now; at 12 weeks. 

Technically you could have waited longer, Smokey and you were in no rush to get the ultrasound. An idea more on the backburner as the boys and him were more focused on trying to figure out if they could make furniture for the baby out of scrap wood from around nameless city. An idea you were highly against unless they sanded it and made sure none of the wood was compromised in any way. 

Surprisingly, they found such wood. And on the same day, when you woke up to a very big shock. 

“Lala,” Smokey’s sister whips her head around at her name being called. Looking quite confused as she sees you in the middle of Spring wearing a big puffy coat. It seemed your weird appearance didn’t just catch her attention either as P and Yu jumped down from their places in an area up above. Likely on patrol. 

“Is everything ok–” Not allowing her to answer, you dragged her to a tent nearby. Usually used for shops to set up, but it was far too early for them. Quickly, P follows after you two, signaling to Yu to go find Smokey. Knowing this is something he should know. “What’s wrong–”

Lala falls short of finishing her sentence as you take off your coat and show her what had you acting so strange. She couldn’t believe her eyes as she just saw you a day ago and it didn’t look like anything like this. 

“Woah…” P lets out, taking the words right out Lala’s mouth for her. The girl still very much in shock as she tried to wrap her head around it. “That’s… That’s normal right?”

“I– Sort of? I– I don’t know. They said it's common for it to just appear suddenly one morning when you wake up. But– I don’t think it's supposed to be–”

“Is everything–” 

You nearby jump in shock as Smokey and the rest of the Rude Boys barge into the tent. Expecting something horrible only to stare in shock just like P and Lala were seconds ago once they see you. The only one being somewhat calm about the situation being, of course, Smokey. Who after reading some books with you, knew this would be happening any day now. 

His eyes soften as he gazes upon it. Looking at you with love and wonder as he slowly makes his way to you. A soft grin spreading to his lips as he touches your stomach, lightly tracing the bump there with his calloused fingers. 

“Don’t– Don’t you think it's a bit big?” You finally ask after a few moments, telling Smokey the worry clouding your mind as you gazed upon your stomach, “I look eighteen weeks pregnant, not twelve.”

You were correct. While many in the tent knew nothing about pregnancies and had hardly ever seen a pregnant woman in her first trimester, they couldn’t help but agree that your bump was rather big. Which is likely what added to the huge shock as they saw you just over 24 hours before, no bump in sight. 

“Maybe you should go to that ultrasound?” Takeshi suggests, always the voice of reason amongst the boys especially whenever Smokey was absent. “If it has to do with your belly… the doctors should be able to notice it with that, right?”

Smokey and you looked at each other and you couldn’t help but agree that Takeshi made a fair point. 

“I can see if Dr.Sato has a free spot today? Will you be…” Your voice trails off when you notice a sad look grow on Smokey’s face. 

“Sorry…” He starts, letting out a heavy sigh, “Things between Daruma and us have been… tense. We are expecting Daruma to try to cause some chaos in the market later today. I really want to but–”

You grab Smokey’s hand, stopping the man from going into a rant, “It's okay. I understand.”

And you did. If being Cobra’s sister taught you anything, it is that sometimes the people you loved had to drop everything at a moment’s notice to protect what they believed in.

“Just keep me updated. I’ll let you know if I got the appointment and if nothing is going on, we can see if it's safe for me to come here after.”

Smokey nods his head. While disappointed he won’t be there, he is at least pleased he will be updated on what is going on.

Fuck.

As you finally turn your phone back on after shutting it down during your appointment, you couldn’t help but grow anxious at the slew of texts that came in; some dating back hours ago. While many were from Sannoh and your brother asking if you wanted to join them at the bar, some were from the Rude Boys. It seemed the situation with Daruma was solved and Smokey was wondering if–

“There you are,” You nearly jump in fright as a voice calls out in front of you. Instantly recognizing the blonde male in front of you.

“Takeshi? What the hell–” You start, thankful it wasn’t a different blonde. Especially as it would be hard to explain the building you were standing out in front of. Quickly you whip your head around before dragging the male into an alleyway nearby, “What are you doing here? This is Sannoh territory.”

It would be extremely hard to come up with an excuse as to why a Rude Boy was this far from their territory. Especially as the boys rarely left and you were in the north end of Sannoh, closer to Oya territory than theirs. 

“Smokey got worried. You didn’t answer his texts and it was getting dark,” Takeshi says, gesturing to the golden and red sky above you guys, “He sent me to pick you up.”

Moving his hand, he points to an old army jeep. One the Rude Boys often used along with their dirt bikes when they needed to get somewhere not in their territory fast. However, due to it being so old and so unique, it wouldn’t be hard for any of the Sannoh boys to instantly recognize the vehicle. Knowing an opposing gang was in their territory.

Oh god.

“Give me a second.” Takeshi says, suddenly seeming to remember something as he pulls out his phone. It rings for a moment before someone picks up on the other end.

“Hello?” Instantly recognizing the voice on the other end, you visibly relax. 

“Hey, Smokey. I’ve got her right here. She just came out of her appointment.” 

“Did everything go well?” Smokey asks as you take the phone from Takeshi. Already feeling much better as you could hear his voice on the other end. He has always had that calming effect on you, “Nothing wrong?”

Letting out another sigh, you hear shuffling on the other end of the phone. Likely the others joining Smokey to hear the results of your appointment.

“Everything went well. Nothing wrong at all. Just…” You let out a particularly heavy sigh, knowing you had no choice but to explain it to them as just ignoring the obvious would make them more concerned, “...I’m feeding for four.”

“Huh?”

“What?”

Takeshi–the only one you can visibly see–jaw drops in shock as he processes what you just said. Even though you shouldn’t, you can’t help but laugh a little. Finally giving the male the stack of photos after a few moments so he can finally come to terms on what you said. 

Staring down at the photo, even though it wasn’t his, Takeshi can’t help but feel tears pluck in the corner of his eyes as he sees his nieces/nephews. Each labeled with a number 1 through 3 so it was each to identify each one.

“Tr–Triplets…” Takeshi starts, his voice slightly shaking as he speaks, “She’s having triplets, Smokey.”

A little concerned by the sudden silence at the other end, you call out as well, “Smokey?”

Your eyes can’t help but widen in shock as you hear an ever so slight sniffle on the other end. 

“Y–Yeah?”

Takeshi seems quite taken aback as well as he hears the others telling Smokey it was okay as they laughed and patted their leader on the back. Though the two of you quickly can’t help but allow a wide grin to take on your faces as you hear Smokey’s chuckle as well; Sounding slightly watered down from his tears and stuffy nose as he was still a bit emotional. Realizing it was a good cry, not a bad one.

“We’ll be there soon, Smokey.” Looking up at Takeshi, who grabs the keys from his pockets, you quickly follow him out of the alleyway as you continue to talk on the phone, “Don’t go crying anymore. I still have yet to show you the photos. I practically started sobb–”

Quickly, as you glance to your right, you can’t help but freeze in your steps. The smile wiping clean off your face when your eyes lock with another. 

Oh, no. 

No. no. no. no. no.

“Shit,” Takeshi curses once he sees them as well, “Smokey, fuck. We’ve been seen.”

However, even though you know Smokey and the others are saying something on the other end, you can only continue to stare at your brother; the rest of the world blocked out just from the pure shock running through your body. Cobra eyes are wide and confused as he sees you. The rest of the gang confused as well as they pause in getting off their bikes. Clearly having showed up after hearing the Rude Boys jeep was spotted in Sannoh.

It is only as Takeshi shakes your shoulder that you finally snap your gaze away from Cobra, “We have to go. Now.”

But–

Not allowing you a second to respond, likely thinking you were still in shock, Takeshi grabs you by the wrist and starts dragging you to the car. Hoping that since the boys are far enough down the street, that he could beat them to his car.

“Hey. Hey!” The roaring sound of blood pumping through your veins echoes in your head as your brother finally snaps out of his trance. His voice muffled in your ears even though he is probably yelling. As you shakily take a seat in the passenger seat, you can’t help but jump in surprise as you feel a hand suddenly grab onto the jacket on your shoulder.

“What are you doing? Why the hell are you with—?” Yamato asks as you stare up at him with wide eyes. However, it is as he pulls at your jacket, that he sees your stomach. Stopping him dead in his tracks as he takes in the sight, “Why are you pregnant? What the fuck did those bastar–”

You gasp in shock as Takeshi suddenly kicks Yamato, getting the man to fall onto the sidewalk, as the vehicle finally starts. You can’t help but snap your head around as your brother begins to call your name, still racing after the vehicle. Only stopping once the vehicle finally picks up speed, causing him to stop and stare. 

To stare back at you with so many questions and concerns in his eyes.

“I—“ You start, turning back around to face the front. Just in pure shock at what just happened, “I— I should have told him. Oh my god… I’m such an idiot.”

“Stop it.” Takeshi yells over the wind as he drives, reaching a hand over to grab onto one of your shaking ones. “You did what you thought best. You weren’t sure how Cobra would react to finding out about Smokey. It could have caused a bigger mess than this for all you know.”

“But— My brother will be chasing after us, you know?” You start, looking in the rear view mirror as if waiting for the motorcycles of the Sannoh Hoodlum Squad to whip around the corner, “He’ll— He’ll come to nameless city and—“

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Takeshi says, grabbing hold of your shoulders and hugging you as the vehicle reaches a stop light. “Everything will be okay. This can’t blow up anymore than it is.”

“B-But—“

“Breathe. Please just breathe.” Takeshi says, running a hand down your back to soothe your shaking figure, “We’ll be home soon. Everything will be okay.”

As the stop light changes and he is forced to pull away, you are finally quiet. While still shaking, you lean into Takeshi’s side for comfort. Clutching his hand tightly as he continues to drive back to the Rude Boys territory. Unable to stop yourself from jumping whenever you heard to loud sound of a motorcycle engine off in the distance

“Smoke—“ As soon as Takeshi slams on the brakes, putting the car in park. The rest of the Rude Boys descend. Instantly Smokey clutches onto you and helps you out of the car, not wanting to let you go.

His eyes trail your body, looking for any signs that you were hurt in any way. 

“What in the hell happened out there?” 

“Sannoh recognized–” As Takeshi leaps out and begins to explain, you allow Smokey to pick you up–something you usually wouldn’t allow–as he and the group begin to walk. Knowing better than to argue with the leader when he was like this, though you also didn’t have the strength to. Secretly you are glad Smokey’s large puffy jacket muffled your ears from the talking of the boys around you. Allowing you to focus on his steady heartbeat; giving you a chance to tune out of the world. 

Though only for a couple of moments, only a couple moments of peace, before Smokey calls your name. Lifting your head, you glance up at Smokey, who looks down at you. Concern and apologies swirling in his dark eyes.

“We need to hide you.” Smokey whispers, seeming to not like the conclusion he has determined but knowing it was the best and safest option for you. 

“What…?” You start, caught off guard as the boys begin to jog, knowing where to head as they likely have limited time. You, still in his grasp, whip your head around to determine where you guys are going. However, night had fallen and it was too dark to know your surroundings. The only light being the moon that shined through the clouds, “Smokey, wait. You– You can’t do that. The boys– My brother is going to misunderstand.” 

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry.” Smokey says, lifting you up and handing you to P on a platform attached to a crane. Reminding you of the ones that are used in the mines. As the boys all jump on, Yu hitting the lever before jumping on as well, the platform begins to move upwards. Finally allowing you down to your feet, Smokey brings you into his arms. Hiding his face in your hair as he attempts to control his shaky breathing, “I’m sorry. I just… can’t risk how they will react. Yamato has already seen your stomach and they likely have already begun to draw their own conclusions.”

“But…” However, your voice quickly trails off as you think. Smokey had a point. While you know your brother and his friends would never hurt you. Never. You could very easily get caught in the crossfire if things heated up too quickly between the groups. The gangs in SWORD were always on the brink of war with one another. Even the slightest of comments or looks could break the peace in seconds.

“I’m sorry.” Smokey repeats, lifting his head to press a kiss to your forehead. One that causes your eyes to flutter shut as you lean into his gentle and caring gesture. As he pulls away, you can see a slight glint in his eyes. One you can’t determine as the lift final comes to a stop. As you look around, you gain an understanding of where you are. All of you are in some sort of watch tower office. One that clearly belongs to the Rude Boys as you look around: maps, notes and their items strewn about the place. 

As you watch P pull out a batch of wires inside the panel of the lift, clearly cutting the power so it can’t be accessed from below, Smokey takes you in another room. While you guessed it was originally meant to be a small office meant for a manager, the Rude Boys had clearly turned it into a resting room of some sort. Torn pillows, blankets, and even an old twin mattress on the floor in the corner. Likely this room was used by the boys when they took turns watching from the tower on patrols. 

As Smokey shuts the door and calls your name, you turn your attention away from your surroundings and back to him. 

“Promise me.” He starts, bringing up a hand to cup your face. Swiping a thumb across your cheek as he looks you in the eyes, “Promise me that no matter what happens that you won’t run out into the mess of this.”

While you didn’t want to agree. Especially as you considered what could possibly happen and how many could get hurt. A thing that made you nauseous as you realized it was all caused by you. You knew you had to agree. If you left Smokey and the others worried, who knew what could happen to them. 

You knew the best option would be to allow Smokey to have a clear mind. One that could keep him calm and hopefully talk to your brother instead of having an all out brawl commence, “I promise…” 

Your words are quickly cut off as Smokey captures his lips in yours. It is passionate and heated compared to the usual pecks he gives you. One that takes your breath away and leaves you dizzy. 

And as Smokey pulls away, you see the glint return back in his eyes. You once again didn’t understand it, that is until Smokey pulls you once again into another hug. Kissing your hair as he sighs, once more trying to calm himself. 

It is as he does so, his body pressed up against yours more so than usual as he rests his chin on your head, that you feel it. 

“I…” You start, unable to help yourself from letting out a laugh. Instantly trying to muffle it in the fur of his jacket as you feel it pressed up against your hip, “Do you have…?”

“...Sorry.”

“Why do you…” You can’t help but let out another laugh at how Smokey shifts slightly away so you can no longer feel it. Always a gentleman. “Why do you have a boner, Smokey?”

“I–” As he pulled away to look at you, you could tell he felt embarrassed and quickly stopped laughing. His eyes looking more so to the wall than you, “It’s because… some guy is trying to take you away.”

“But… it's my brother.”

“I know.” His eyes snapping back to yours so you don’t misunderstand what he is trying to say, “It's because he has the power to stop me from seeing you. Permanently. That’s what it is, not who he is.”

“So… you are basically saying that you…,” You start, heat slightly spreading up your face at what you are about to say, “You are possessive over me and are trying to… stake your claim.”

Instantly, Smokey’s ears turn red and you can tell he just wants to bury his head back in your shoulder in embarrassment.

“It’s okay, Smokey,” You say, reassuring the man as you come up and press a kiss to his lips. One he instantly melts into, “It’s pretty… attractive. Just not the right place or time.”

“Sorr–”

“Don’t apologize. We can… explore this later.” You say, cutting off another apology from him. While he wasn’t as prideful like your brother or the other sword leaders, he was apologizing a lot today. Even for him, “I just don’t want the boys or… my brother to walk in on us.”

Just as an uncomfortable shiver trails up your spine at the thought, you see Smokey freeze. Definitely horrified at the thought as well. 

“Another day it is,” He agrees, making you laugh a little. The sound bringing a small grin to his lips. Though not for long as a knock on the door breaks the happy atmosphere. 

“Smokey,” Takeshi says, pausing for a moment as he seems to determine his next words, “Cobra and the rest of Sannoh is here.” 

“Okay. I’ll be out in a moment,” The leader replies, before looking back at you. A concerned look once again returning to his face, “Please. Stay here.”

“...I will…” 

Giving you one last look as he opens the door, Smokey seems to take you in–almost as if he was thinking this might be the last time he would see you–before shutting it close. A soft click followed by what sounds like shuffling. It takes you a moment to realize the boys were pushing heavy boxes in front of the door in order to hide the room. 

As silence overtakes the room, you find yourself all alone. With the only light in the room being from a window covered in newspaper clipping, you can’t do much other than sit so as not to trip or fall. You can’t even pace to ease your worries. 

With a heavy sigh, you grab an old tattered quilt on the floor and sit in the corner on the old mattress. Wrapping yourself in the blanket as the cold spring night wind whips around outside. It was a long time spent in silence and your own thoughts. You couldn’t even look at your phone or the ultrasound photo of the triplets; both still in Takeshi’s possession. Sitting, waiting and thinking; that's all you could do. 

You even thought about sleeping, but you knew you couldn–

You let out a loud yelp as a crash resounds throughout the room. The glass of the window shattering and it takes you a moment to realize it was P. Covered in bruises and cuts as he attempts to get to his feet in the middle of the room, you realize someone had thrown him through it.

“Are you ok–” 

“Stay back!” P yells, stopping you from coming to him as you get to your feet. You are confused until you hear someone else jumping through the window as well. However, it's not who you expect. 

“So this is where you have been keeping her,” Koo says as he adjusts his white suit, slightly brushing something off his shoulder. Rocky’s assistant glances your way as you stare at him in shock; seeming to check over your figure. His eyes stopping on your stomach before his jaw clenches, “A bunch of heathens that's what you guys are. How many times did you take turns abusing and manipulating this woman?”

“Wait–” However you can’t even get a word in before you are suddenly lifted up, letting out a scream as someone begins to take you through the window.

“Let her–” P dodges as Koo attempts to hit him with his staff. The older man fully intending on blocking the Rude Boy from grabbing you as you are continued to be taken through. 

As you glance back, you see Shimura. The blonde male, with both of his eyes covered in those strange leather goggles of his, grins at you, “Got you!”

Of course, the White Rascals are here.  

Protector of Women. They would instantly jump in if one was in danger. You were just surprised your brother asked the group for help. At least you think he did. 

Did that mean the Rude Boys were outnumbered? Were any of the other SWORD groups here as well? You had too many questions and worries bouncing through your mind. Way too overwhelmed for what was good for you.

“Okay, now we are– Hey! Wait!” As soon as Shimura puts you down on the platform so you can stand, you instantly end up bolting. As to where you would go, you didn’t know. You knew you couldn’t go back in the office as that would be a dead end and Koo was still in there. Stuck on the highest point of the tower, you technically could only go one way. Down.

“Oi! That's dangerous!”

The white rascal chases after you, only to freeze in his steps as he watches you go over the railing and walk across a supported metal beam. Thank goodness the boys got bored one day and taught you some of their tricks. While you couldn’t do any of their crazy flips or spins, you could at least keep your balance and slide down on some things.

Grabbing hold of the fabric at the end of the beam that fell all the way to a platform a few floors below, you take a deep breath and step off the edge. An action that makes Shimura gasp and begin to yell at you to knock it off as you dangle on the material; drawing the attention of some of the others nearby. 

“Oi– Hey!” You nearly jump in fright as something grabs onto the fabric as well, however you breathe a sigh of relief when you just realize it is just P. The young man a bit more bruised than a couple moments ago when you saw him but he seemed to escape Koo’s grasp without an issue. 

“Be careful,” P says as places one of his arms around your waist, just in case you slipped so he could grab you, “Let's try to get you away from this mess.”

“Okay.”

With a deep breath, you and P begin to slide down the fabric. A bit slower than what the Rude Boys would normally do, but thankfully you got to the bottom without any issues. 

“The bikes–Shit.” Just as P goes to look at something, he instantly stops in his tracks. As you look to your right, you see both Rocky and your brother making their way to you. Simply stated, Cobra looked pissed. 

“Hino, wait–” You start only to stop once something jumps down in front of you. Taking you by surprise, it takes a moment to realize it was Smokey. While you normally would be more than glad to see the young man, it wasn’t right now. Your heart stopping when you see the crimson liquid dripping from his lips, knowing it was from his lungs, “Stop. Stop! Everyone just stop!”

As you clutch onto Smokey, screaming at everyone, Cobra and Rocky pause in their steps. Well maybe not Cobra if it weren’t for Rocky sticking out a hand to stop him. 

“Are you okay?” You ask as Smokey gets to his feet, a little shaky as he wipes his lips. The man nods his head but makes no effort to move, instead bringing you close so you are behind him. P behind both of you so as to watch your backs.

“Stay… Stay behind,” Smokey chokes out, grabbing your hand and running his thumb over it. As he looks back at you, unable to help yourself–mostly out of worry–you take the sleeve of your jacket and rub away the crimson liquid falling from the man’s lips. An action that has you wincing as Smokey ends up accidentally having a coughing fit into the fabric; Spiting up more blood in the process but you don’t bring your hand away. Too worried about him than anything else. 

“Smokey, you bastard!” Cobra suddenly yells, catching you off guard as you look to see your brother practically fuming as he glares down the male. If looks could kill, right? “I thought of you better than this. You have a sister but you– you still allow your group to manipulate and rape–”

“Hold up! Wait!” You shout, cutting off the extreme conclusion your brother came to. Not even wanting him to finish that sentence. Taking a deep breath you finally decide it was time to address the obvious. No more running away in fear or allowing Smokey to protect you.

“Hino, they never did any of that. I– Smokey and I…” You take your gaze away from your brother to look at Smokey. The haggard man slightly panting in order to breathe but smiles gently as you Interlock your fingers with his. Giving you a reassuring squeeze, “Smokey and I are together.”

“What?”

“Well sort of together,” You say, mumbling slightly; not noticing the tone your brother used, “We became close friends and… things sort of happened… and then I got pregnant. I–”

“You–” Something suddenly smashes nearby, making you jump slightly and cut off your words. Instantly Smokey pushes you further behind him and it takes you a moment to realize it was caused by Cobra. Your brother having kicked something nearby to him in a heat of rage, “You can’t be serious. This– This has to be some sort of lie. He must be manipulating–”

“It’s not!” You yell back, your emotions finally coming crashing down on you, “I just– I just…”

You let out a heavy sigh as you cross your arms, slightly gnawing at your lip as you begin to feel anxious. Especially knowing you had to explain your decision, “I was just scared to tell you, Hino.”

Your brother seems to pause for a moment. His gaze slightly growing less sharp and cold upon hearing your words, “Scared to tell me…?”

“I…” You gulp, feeling tears begin to prick the corner of your eyes. Damn it, “I–I knew I messed up. I don’t regret anything with Smokey but I knew that because he was from another group that it could cause problems. I wanted to tell you but– but– I was scared if it would cause a fight or– or– if it would disappoint you– or–”

You sniff a little, wiping your eyes as tears rolled down your cheek. It's silent from Cobra’s end and you can’t bring yourself to look up at your older brother. Though through blurry vision trained to the ground you see Smokey turn around. Guessing he was looking at you as he began to rub comforting circles in your hand. Unable to help yourself–the simple act reducing you to sobs–you can’t help but throw yourself in the male’s arms; hiding your head in the man’s jacket as you cry.

However as you cry in Smokey’s jacket, trying to calm the aching and horrible feeling in your heart, it isn’t long before a hand grasps your arm and you are pulled into another’s hold. The other person’s arms instantly wrapping around your body tightly as they place their chin on your shoulder. Smelling the cologne and laundry detergent you knew your brother used made you sob even harder when you realized it was him who was holding you.

“I–I’m–m so sorry– Sorry, Hino–” You sob out, your voice breaking and cracking as you attempt to pull yourself together. Especially as your brother hushes you and draws shapes on your shoulder with his hand to get you to calm down. Something he has done ever since you two were kids.

“Idiot… What are you apologizing for?” Cobra says, pulling his head back up so you can see each other. With a small frown on his face, he brings up a thumb and wipes the tear stains from your cheeks, “I’m not angry or disappointed in you. Sure, you and Smokey…”

He takes the chance to send the male a glare from over your shoulder. One you probably would guess, Smokey gave right back; knowing him.

“...I’m not too happy about it but it's at least better than Murayama or… Hyuga. I would definitely kill them if that ever happened.” You can’t help but let out a small choked laugh at your brother’s comment. Especially as he grumbles about the last part, “But, if anything, I’m just upset and worried you felt like you couldn’t tell anyone this.”

“Technically, all of nameless city knew–”

“Doesn’t count.” Your brother sternly says, cutting P off, “You couldn’t have even told Naomi?”

“You know she would instantly tell Yamato or you.”

Your brother huffs but understands that you were very much correct in your assumption. While she kept some secrets from the boys, you knew she would definitely tell the boys about it the moment she found out about anything between you and Smokey. Entirely for your safety of course.

“So…” Your brother starts after a sigh, seeming awkward but you could tell he wanted to ask something, “How long have you and Smokey been a… thing?”

“Well…” You turn to Smokey who seems to freeze at the subject. Knowing this could quickly set Cobra off as well, “We aren’t really together. We sort of…”

“…are messing around?”

“No, no,” You say, quickly reassuring your brother as he attempts to go around you. Likely to give Smokey a piece of his mind if he thought of you as a ‘fun time’, “It wasn’t physical. Definitely not at first. We would just… rely on the other to share our deepest secrets and to seek reassurance when we weren’t okay. It isn't until later that the other stuff just… happened.” 

Grumbling under his breath, your brother seems still quite unhappy about the whole situation but honestly–-truly honest–his reaction could have been a lot worse. Especially knowing him and all the scenarios you conjured up in your head. 

It is only as heavy boots approach you, that you forgot about one crucial thing. A thing that makes your blood run cold once more.

“Sor–Sorry, Rocky,” You murmur sheepishly, glancing at the Rascals leader as he approaches. While he outwardly didn’t look pissed, some of the White Rascals men were definitely beaten up. A clear indicator in the bruises and cuts on Kaito, Kizzy and Koo’s faces as they walk up behind their leader, “Sorry you got dragged into this mess–”

However, the White Rascals leader raises his hand, signaling you to stop in your rant. A small smile gracing his lips, that quickly disappears as you blink. Reaching into his pocket, the man pulls out a business card and gives it to you.

“If shit hits the fan again and you need help,” He starts, pulling down his sunglasses he gives you a knowing wink, “Don’t hesitate to call.”

“Hey.” Your brother warns as the White Rascal leader walks away. But, the Rascals don’t listen and just ignore your brother; instead cheering and exhaustingly leaving as they eaves you goodbye. The only one seeming to still pay attention to your group was Kizzy. The young woman holding up a small picture–almost making you choke on your spit as you instantly identify it–and sending you a knowing smile.

“You better stop by at the club,” Kizzy yells as Kaito wraps an arm around her shoulder, beginning to lead her away, “I want to see more of these cuties.”

“Hey!” Yu yells as he leaps down next to you guys. However the Rascals are already walking down the metal steps; no longer in hearing distance, “That’s ours!”

“It’s fine. It’s fine.” You reassure, stopping the younger male from chasing after them. Clearly pouting at the fact they stole something they were waiting for, “I got plenty of extra copies.”

“Extra copies…?” Cobra asks as Yu yells upwards at Takeshi. Asking him to come down so as to get his copy. Once more you freeze as you realize your brother has no idea about the appointment today… nor the results.

“Well…” You start as Takeshi joins you guys. A nervous sweat breaking out as you see the rest of Sannoh and Rude Boys coming out from the structure as well, coming to likely see what the ruckus is about, “...twin genes, am I right?”

As Takeshi holds out a picture to Cobra, you back up and return to Smokey’s side. Allowing Sannoh and your brother to process what exactly they were seeing. Hoping their reaction wouldn’t be too bad as you left them alone with the other Rude Boys.

“You okay?” You ask Smokey, cupping the male’s face. His stern eyes easing as you approach; seeming to melt into your touch as he wraps a hand around your waist. Always liking you close by within arms length.

Instead of responding, Smokey leans in and takes your lips with his. While you flinch a little at the sticky feeling, reminding you he was just coughing up blood a few moments ago, you eventually relax and return the loving kiss. Humming as Smokey takes his other calloused hand and gently cups the back of your neck. Playing with the baby hairs located there that causes shivers to shoot up your spine.

As Smokey pulls away, a loving gaze on his face. You can’t help but grin uncontrollably back at him. An action he seems to like as he wraps you in his arms and presses kisses to your face. A smile beginning to grow on his—

“Smokey… I think we should have a talk.”

Uh oh.

You forgot about Cobra standing right there. 

[suffarustuffaru]

A while ago someone asked you for your thoughts on Garfiel. I figured the sibling set should be complete, so what are your thoughts on Frederica?

HALLO FINNB!!! interesting question :o my thoughts on frederica are. a little mixed. but ultimately i think what we’ve seen from her so far is interesting and that she has a lot of potential here.

we just dont know all that much about her :(( on one level i get it—rezeros cast is immense and naturally tappei has to rotate through everyone and give every character focus and spotlight at different times. but bc we dont know that much about frederica i feel like shes mostly just Kinda There, yknow? :<< we know way more about garfiel and i feel like frederica being kept on the backburner for so long kinda works against her and the emilia camp in general writing wise just bc she just has to be stuck in I Havent Had My Character Arc Limbo when the emilia camp is the main group we see consistently for rezeros main route ig. or at least thats my thoughts on it atm :<<

plus i was honestly kinda sad frederica didnt get to go along in arc 5 If Only bc she didnt get to see what her mom is up to firsthand. then theres the actual arc 4-5 interlude with frederica and garf trying to bond after sanctuary that i HOPE gets included in s3 :<< frederica is just lacking in screentime and literally almost any info at all for sure. which makes me sad bc tappei LET ME IN I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HER !!! >:(((

and again i get it that tappei cant develop every character in existence at the same time. dude has to juggle the most massive cast especially by arc 7. but definitely this has its drawbacks especially with the way tappei writes everyone. bc at the moment frederica is one of the characters suffering the most from it—she appeared all the way back in arc 4 and four arcs later i cannot tell you all that much about her :<

i do think though that what we do see from her so far is interesting!! her insecurity regarding her appearance, like her sharp teeth, her being so fond of petra while also being so dead set on disciplining petra firmly when needed (which is sweet!!!), that one ss where frederica takes care of ram when shes feeling more under the weather than usual (which is Again super super adorable), frederica listening with a smile as emilia gushes about subaru to her. and also her just flatly pitying otto and hearing this guy say hes totally normal and being like “he Literally cannot perceive himself accurately at all” + dropping otto in the anime just to hug petra is fucking hilarious i need fredotto fics to actually acknowledge this.

but also other details like—and ok granted i dont remember every detail on frederica (yet) but leaving garfiel like that is still kind of. a dick move HAH. and i know her reason was smth along the lines of wanting to improve the outside world for demihumans iirc but like whats her Full Reasons for doing all that?? what was she even planning to do?? why couldnt she talk to or see garfiel more in this entire time period?? i think it comes with the interesting implication that frederica isnt entirely as nice and sweet as she looks—or at least that of course she herself is flawed. which is fun!!

also her relationship with clind is. ………..naturally of course i dont trust tappei with anything regarding children and clinds weird shit with children but ignoring tappei for a moment i do at least appreciate the complicated thoughts frederica has about clind. how she had feelings for him once and they still linger but she keeps her distance bc hes like That, you know? that feeling of broken trust and “i cared for you now what do i do with This Feeling” is So interesting to me i just hate clind’s whole thing with children bc tappei will never write it in an entirely serious and satisfactory manner 😭 BUT greed if and the dynamic between frederica and clind and frederica having to help kill / kill clind bc of greedbaru and echidnas shit is SO interesting (and clinds lore apart from being Creepy About Children is very interesting). but also poor frederica……….. ;-;

and poor frederica bc if the rumors about her getting more development by like arc 10 or 11 are true then shes gonna be stuck in I Havent Gotten Development Yet Limbo for a while ;-;

but yeah anyway. the frederica crumbs so far are interesting, the shit going on with frederica and garfiels family is Interesting, and i definitely dont trust tappei with children 👍 but i hope we get more info on frederica and that her character arc slaps really hard !! i Need to learn more about her!!!

im not fully familiar with fredericas side of the complicated family drama but if memory serves me right her birth was. not an entirely happy affair bc her poor mom has been through A Lot of shit and frederica was a product of that. and then her mom later tries to go find garfiel’s dad. like all of that is just so incredibly sad to me and again, i wish frederica was there to see what happened to her mom in arc 5, and also im curious about how thats affected frederica more in depth. knowing she wasnt exactly wanted. having these demihuman features from her dad (im assuming), whos also One Of the people who hurt her mom. knowing that she was born a burden, learning that her mom cant entirely take care of her and isnt in a stable life situation and almost certainly isnt mentally stable herself. garfiel coming along and their mom leaving. frederica leaving garfiel in sanctuary herself. her growing up admiring clind, which is an unfortunate parallel to what couldve happened with her mom and garfiel’s dad. its just so so tragic to me and theres a lot of things you could explore there!!

frederica to me seems like someone whos probably grown up too fast, who comes off as composed and very disciplined and likes taking care of others but also fumbles a little at growing closer and is insecure and uncertain herself even as shes good at being the older and wiser one to petra and later garfiel a bit. but also we dont know much about her so im kinda just spitballing here but she has potential methinks :,) im definitely sad that it seems like the fact that shes a pretty anime waifu or whatever kinda overtakes discussions on her character sometimes ;-;

and also one of my pals is really passionate about animals and gave me a whole lecture once a few years ago on why they think fredericas beast form design fucking sucks and i cant remember all of their points now but like i Will back them up i think garfiel and fredericas beast forms could look better but im not an expert at illustrating animals so HAH i cant speak on that. but def the eyebrows on the beast designs is so…… whaaaaat is that 😭 go FULL beast design or NOTHING. WHERE IS MY EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA BUFF FREDERICA BEAST DESIGN !!!

also ngl i just think frederica looks really cute in this shot <333 ALSO iirc she feels like she cant wear cute outfits bc shes insecure about her body and :((((( GIVE THIS GIRL ALL THE CUTEST OUTFITS IN THE WORLD PLEASE :((( and also i just think its a tragedy just how much shes sexualized :(( and i just think there are. a lot of AFAB specific and girlhood specific themes you could explore with fredericas storyline but tappei is tappei so all the foundation is there but idk if i entirely trust him. but on another level i think its fascinating yeah!!! sad how much it flies over audiences heads sometimes.

in conclusion: i like frederica i hope we see more stuff from her. and im crying about how she reportedly wont be getting development for a wall :<<<<

[starlightnorris]

two places at once - lando norris

lyrics from two places at once by haley joelle ... this song was on my discover weekly on spotify this week and i just had to write an angsty piece with it

wc: 1.3k

warnings: cheating, angst, some cursing

you said you’re finding yourself

 it’s not about anyone else

you just want the best

but i know you meant

you don’t want the rest

“i can’t do this anymore.” lando’s words are like a hammer straight to your heart, the two years that you had spent together vanishing with only a few emotionless words. “i just need time for myself.”

no words make their way out of your mouth, and you know you probably look ridiculous, the way your mouth is open slightly as you stare in disbelief at the man that you were in love with. was it all an act? all the loving comments, the sweet dates, the moments that you held so near to you? was it fake or was the love you had really real? could it all fall away that quickly?

“so those two years mean nothing?” you say, a humorless laugh leaving your mouth when you finally say something.

“y/n,” he says, but you put a hand up to stop him. you don’t want his excuses. you don’t want to hear anymore nonsense come out of his mouth. time for himself? were you really that much of a burden to him that he needed to just get away?

said it’s all up to the universe

cause you can’t just say the words

you’re not willing to try

but you can’t decided

think i can read between the lines

you always know the answers

but you can’t seem to make up your damn mind

lando: are you awake? can i call you?

he could not be serious. it had been a few weeks since he had broken up with you, and while you knew that you should be pissed at him for even texting you, you couldn’t help the flutter in your chest at the thought of seeing him, if even for just one night. you hated yourself for it, you were so weak and spineless and you hated that you were so close to folding over him again.

 y/n: yes

even quicker than you were sending the text, lando was calling you, the picture you had at his contact lighting up your screen. you hated how the smile on his face still brought butterflies to your stomach. you should be angry with him, he broke your heart, but you couldn’t deny that you were still in love with him, even if he had done the one thing he had promised he would never do.

“i’ve missed you,” he says when you answer, and you close your eyes, taking in a calming breath. “i’ve missed you so much and i am sorry for ending things with you.”

“lando, you can’t just call me whenever you feel like it,” you say trying to convey the anger that you should feel, but the words are weak as they leave your mouth. they don’t hold the weight that you want them to and you know you just sound defeated. “it’s not fair to me.”

“i know, baby,” he says, and against your better judgment, you’re choosing to believe him, allowing him to talk the sweet words that you loved and convince you all over again to be with him.

you don’t want me now, you might want me later

you leave out the truth, don’t want me to hate ya

it’s not our time, but i’m the one

you want it all, now you got none

the silence was deafening. another day had gone past without a single text from lando, and you felt stupid. it was so easy for him to weasel his way back into your heart, and here you were again, put on the backburner while he did whatever the hell it was he did when he was away during a race.

he used to text or call whenever he could, always checking on you, making sure that you were doing alright even though you knew he was so busy during his race weekends. but he once had loved you, and he made that effort. but now, you weren’t sure you believed any of the words he would say. if he loved you, he wouldn’t leave you wondering what he was doing for days on end.

y/n: hope you’re having a good weekend, good luck tomorrow (: call if you have time!

you sent the message, hoping for at least a crumb of attention from him. it was silly, you were 23 years old and here you were staring at your phone hoping for a boy to text you back, it felt so childish, but you sat there waiting.

lando: sorry been busy, don’t have time to call but will see you in a few days

the words were lies you discovered a few hours later, pictures of him with another girl surfacing on various gossip sites. you wanted to feel surprised, but you should’ve known, he’d been so distant recently and in your heart you knew that you were losing him, even if you wanted with everything in you to be able to deny it.

and when he came home a few days later, he pretended that everything was fine. was he just oblivious to the pictures online? or was he just hoping that you’d overlook that?

“hi, love,” he says, a smile on his face. but it wasn’t the smile you fell in love with. it wasn’t the smile that would reach his eyes, making them sparkle in a way that would just bring you in.

“hi,” you whisper, letting him pull you into his embrace because you knew that it was over. soon enough, you’d be on your way out of his life and you’d both be free of the shackles of this relationship.

i won’t wait around for you in december

so go have your fun and i’ll just remember

how i’ve been yours for months

and you’re in two places at once

“how long, lando?” you ask.

you’d brought up the pictures that you’d seen, and he didn’t try to deny it. he just nodded when you’d asked if he’d cheated, and to his credit, he did look somewhat upset about it.

“two months,” he says softly, and you feel your heart breaking all over again.

“did you break up with me the first time for her?”

he doesn’t answer with words, instead he just nods and you let out a disbelieving laugh. it was one thing to cheat on you in the first place but then to end the relationship, get back with you, and to still cheat on you? it was inexcusable and you felt absolutely stupid that you fell for his games.

“what the fuck is wrong with you?” you ask, and your words sound crazed as they leave your lips. “you should’ve just left me alone after you broke up with me. and how could i be so fucking stupid to fall for you again after you broke my heart?”

“you’re not stupid,” he says, reaching out a hand to touch your face but when you flinch away, he quickly drops it back to his side. “i’m sorry, y/n. i never meant to hurt you.”

“what do you mean? you cheated on me then broke up with me, only to get back with me and cheat on me again!” you yell, feeling even more stupid as you speak the words out loud. as you look at his expression, you don’t know what you see. sure, he looks apologetic, but clearly you didn’t know him anymore. “please, just get out of my life.”

“i really am sorry,” he says as he goes to leave, his gaze lingering on yours for a moment before he slips out the door, letting it fall closed behind him.

only then do you let the tears start to fall. from heartbreak, to feelings of inadequacy, to the feeling of your life being uprooted right from under you. every emotion wrecks through your body, the sobs shaking your body as you let yourself just feel.

[forestwhisper3]

Remembering that time I almost wrote a Danny Phantom/Justice League crossover. It was many, many years ago (so long ago that I actually did forget exactly when I wrote it), but I only got a teeny bit done before I completely lost the motivation for it and stopped. Since I know I’m never going to continue, I thought it might be fun to show you all that tiny segment. Past me was even kind enough to make a fic summary, ahaha! So...here you go!

Summary: Alternate realities are a curious thing, though not always pleasant. In a world where a battle between Phantom and Plasmius results in the Fentons' deaths, Danny is forced into being the ward of one Vlad Masters- who has gone insane with grief and guilt. Determined to have Danny with him forever, Vlad does everything possible to hide him from the world.

That is, until a meeting with billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne throws a wrench in his plans.

                         OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Amity Park was a peaceful looking town. Hardly any of the buildings were more than two stories tall, there were multiple parks, and there was just a quaintness to it that seemed to isolate it from the world.

That last part was exactly why he was here.

While to many people it would appear as if the man walking down the streets of was exploring with a pleased curiosity, Bruce Wayne's mind was hard at work. Months ago, the League had detected a massive surge of energy coming from the small town, and had been more than a little startled at its sudden disappearance while investigating the cause. That had immediately sent up red flags to many of them. There were very few things that could make an entire town vanish without a trace in an instant, after all, and none of them were good.

Unfortunately, the energy was different from any they had dealt with before. It made it hard to figure out what was going on and how to solve it. It was only due to a comment from Wonder Woman that they were able to get on the right track, although even then, it had been a little hard to believe.

Before then, they'd never dealt with ghosts.

Dr. Fate had been the most help, as knowledgeable as he tended to be on the strangest subjects. He had confirmed the energy as the supernatural kind, and had then gone on to identify it as a form of ectoplasm. When asked why the ghosts were focusing on that one place, and why the ghosts themselves hadn't been causing problems elsewhere, Fate had only said that the situation was unique, and that the ghosts never ventured far because they weren't allowed to.

Batman hated Dr. Fate sometimes.

Trying to glean any information from Amity itself was frustrating as well. The local newspapers would mention ghost attacks on a regular basis, but never went in depth. The only two articles that seemed to be of note were the one of its current mayor, Vlad Masters, being possessed, and the one praising a ghost boy the town called Inviso-Bill. A ghost that had, strangely enough, been blamed for the possession of the mayor and dubbed a public enemy.

He didn't fail to notice that they started calling him a hero after the incident where Amity vanished.

He might have passed off the lack of information as the fact that the people of Amity were generally familiar with what went on, if it hadn't been for what happened after. Looking into the situation had been put into the backburner when the town returned unharmed, mostly due to more pressing situations elsewhere, but it wasn't forgotten. During a lull in crime some time later, Superman decided to finally begin the investigation by travelling there as Clark Kent, who wanted to write a piece on the town for tourists looking to get away from the city.

He wasn’t even allowed to enter the city’s limits.

Other attempts by lesser known, though well trusted, reporters ended up the same. Masters claimed it was because Amity preferred its solidarity, and that tourism would make things much too chaotic. Batman didn't buy it. There was something going on, and Masters himself seemed to be covering it up. So, how did one go about gaining the trust of a paranoid rich man? By introducing another rich man into the mix.

It was times like these that he truly appreciated his wealth.

Vlad Masters wasn't a terribly rich man in comparison, but he was good at putting his money to work. That was the first cause for caution- it meant that he was intelligent. The second was that his criminal record was suspiciously clean. While Wayne Industries never delved in the illegal, Bruce Wayne was still guilty of a few traffic tickets and small time offenses. It was true that his suspicions might be unfounded, and that Masters might just be a good man, but he had learned that wasn't usually the case with the wealthy. It was better to consider him like the others until proven otherwise.

Other discrepancies had popped up in his background check, but these were the ones placed on the forefront as he knocked on the large wooden doors.

                       OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Vlad was not happy.

The treaty he had made with the inhabitants of the Ghost Zone was being broken. He should have expected it, of course, but it did make things difficult. Apparently the knowledge of Daniel's treatment under his care was no longer enough to stay their hands and keep them from attacking the human world.

Boredom could be a quite a dangerous thing in the uncouth and uneducated.

Fortunately, those foreign reporters had stopped sniffing around months ago. He didn't know what he would do if one were present just as activity started picking up again. Should the rest of the world would know that ghosts were more than a small town's crazy paranoia, people would come- bringing unwanted attention, and if it was deemed a threat, Amity Park might actually find itself visited by superheroes.

Vlad hated superheroes.

It was a miracle he'd kept everything under the radar as long as he had, although money and connections had surely played a large part. Looking at his record, he was the epitome of a decent citizen. No one could and would suspect him. He was free to do as he wished, unless a hero were to get involved. He'd heard rumors- X-ray vision, telepathy, super strength; all sorts of abilities that put him at risk. No, it was better to keep Amity away from the rest of the world. Away from prying eyes and questions.

Away from the chance of them finding his Daniel.

Oh, he had no doubt they would be interested. Daniel was special. Unique. They would snatch him up in an instant, wanting him to join their little group and use his powers for good. Well, not if he had anything to say about it. Daniel was his, and the boy would grow to appreciate this in time. Time without distractions from the outside. Time with just the two of them.

What he failed to remember, however, was that time favored Danny.

                         OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Danny sighed, gazing desperately out a window. It felt like ages since he'd been outside, and he was going crazy. He longed to feel the sun on his skin, the wind in his hair, and the liberating sense of freedom all of these things entailed. But he couldn't. All he could do was sit here, wondering when that now literally insane fuitloop would decide he wanted to spend some quality time together.

He grimaced just thinking about it.

Guilt, sorrow, loneliness, anger, and frustration settled in his stomach as his thoughts turned to the cause for all this once more. 

His family- gone. Caught in the crossfire of one of their battles. It had been Vlad's attack that did it, but it wouldn't have happened at all if it weren't for him.

His life- taken from him. Pulled out of school, forced to live in this house, all contact with the world cut off.

His powers- stifled. The madman had made some sort of deal with the other ghosts, ending all attacks on Amity Park.

His friends- Oh, his friends...He could still hear their screams. Taken from their families. Assumed dead. Trapped somewhere he didn't know.

Couldn't reach.

Couldn't save.

It was all his fault.

So, he did the only thing he could- he stayed. If he stayed, they didn't scream. If he stayed, he could help them, even if just a little. If he stayed, he could pretend they weren't in danger.

He needed to stop before he really did go crazy.

                       OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

[thezolblade]

rl and fandom update

Fatigue's been getting better in the last year or so, with at least one cause identified. Since I've gone from a few years of barely managing much, to gradually starting to get a bit more energy to walk around for a few hours per day, I keep trying to do things and tiring myself out, and then napping and zoning out rather than getting other things done too.

Switched my laptop and the old family computer over to linux, to avoid forced copilot on one, and make the other usable again after windows 8 end of life. I may have lost some files despite my best efforts. Backing things up and following the process took a lot of time despite the process being as straightforward as it could be, and I love linux but I'm still picking it up. I wish I'd had that time for other things when there was so much else going on. Hate windows so much for forcing all that bullshit, but at least I've gotten rid of it now.

Goal next year is to retain more energy until the evenings so I can really get back to fun things that require focus. Fandom's been partly on the backburner; on good weeks I've managed to focus on short projects, but I haven't been able to maintain a focus on long projects. The list of games/books/shows/writing that I want to get back to feels motivating, like I'm reminding myself that whenever I have any time, there are still lots of things where I can feel some enthusiasm, even if I can't get through them all quickly like a to-do list. Gathering thoughts on the main ones:

Disco Elysium

When I played it in 2019, it was really good, but parts of it were slightly too much in a grim way, like the death notice; I remember thinking that I wanted to replay, but I needed a gap first.

Heard about the Sacred and Terrible Air fantranslation this year and took that as a cue to replay, and this time it's been fantastic. Knowing what's coming takes some of the bite out of the rough parts, along with getting invested enough to want to explore all the dialogue options to see the characters from all angles. Kim gets so sassy and creative when Harry fucks up. The playthroughs are going slowly but I've seen almost everything that I kept getting spoiled on when I slipped into reading fic earlier in the year. I've made it through a few chapters of the book pdf, it's heavy going though. To be continued.

FFVII

Picked up the reboot, it feels odd to be so late to the party with my fave game. To play when I have the energy for sitting up with the steam deck, rather than resting with something turn-based open on a laptop.

TMA

So so many wips that I want to finish, but I'm still reeling from getting put off from season 4 onwards. That got pretty tangled with pandemic stress, at the same time it was getting unfun and I couldn't get another interest to catch alight the same way to take my mind off things. The wip files are long enough I need a bit of focus back to tackle them.

Now the TMP sequel's out too, and I lost all interest when I found out that Jonah Magnus is still a character, despite the show sounding at first like a universe where he was killed off for real and other characters actually, finally, get to drive the plot with their own character arcs in a cathartic way, instead of everyone just rattling around where they're trapped the whole time. I'll probably read a summary at some point, as it does stuff with characters from TMA, and falling out of date with the canon really shows in fanworks. Don't feel like it yet.

Golden Sun

Every few years I've gone back the to longfic WIP that's still on fanfic.net and spent a few weeks trying to reread/edit/get past the block point, before getting tired out and taking a break from it again.

Lately I'm thinking, I always had point A at the start and point C at the end planned out, but getting there with the long detour through point B, well, that's the part where I'm stuck, and where a lot of the old writing that makes me wince is, which I keep changing without quite being happy with it, and which I can't cut for the way the plot hangs together. So maybe I should just cut out the side plot that takes up most of point B, even though what's posted is all setup so far and it was going to be the payoff next, and there are parts I really like. It'd make the fic much shorter, to go straight from points A to C; chapter 4 or 5 would move on to one or two chapters of wrapping things up, in a relatively quick and easy way for the characters. No big parts for Sheba and Ivan, no flashbasks to the heroes' history from Sheba's pov. I probably won't manage to finish it otherwise, so it's worth a try. Need to wait until I have some time off work to take a run at it.

PMMM

I still need to watch magia record, and read some of the comics... It's been too long since I've rewatched my fave show.

Harvest Moon / Rune Factory / Stardew Valley / Pokemon / indie relaxing games

Relaxation. Gotta pick them up again before I forget where I was up to.

Slay the Pricess

Play the Pristine Cut, and try the Disco Elysium crossover mod.

Fallen London

Nice to have a browser game on my phone. I keep putting off progress with the stories that'll shed some light on the lore, for a better day. Intriguing world anyway.

Omori, Deltarune, Dredge

Play more when my sister visits, and when she's not tired out from work too. Good to have some shared activities.

Fire Emblem 3 Houses

Finish the last route... I don't have to replay the shared chapters again at this point, just finish the blue route...

Saiyuki

See how many more of the comics are out in English than, uh, more than 10 years ago.

Avatar last airbender & korra

Catch up with the comics.

Arcane

Almost through season 2, TV evenings with my parents. Pretty effects. Kinda makes me want to know more, but I don't think I'll ever play league of legends. Maybe something to expore via youtube someday.

Star Trek

I watched ToS with my parents last year. Next, time to watch all the next gen episodes that I somehow never caught when it was on TV growing up, even though watching whatever was on meant I saw some episodes 2 or 3 times. And there's that new short film going around.

[captainbobbin]

I'm really, really, REALLY curious:

We all know you're the CEO of XemSai and MoonRocks. But! Who do you think Vexen should be shipped with? Why? (If you don't have any ships for him, feel free to delete this ask!)

(warning for a nsfw answer haha)

first of all thank you for putting the xemsai/moonrocks crown on my gay little head hahahaha

But! Vexen! I love the guy, I think he's very fun. I havent written him in much detail yet but he is definitely going to show up more in LFOTR

I primarily pair him with Marluxia tbh! I like their bitchy dynamic and at some point I would really like to write a pheromone/sex pollen fic of those two. Vexen being very cold and calculated and trying to study Mars on a medical table who is there just emitting perfume and looking smug and trying to get that old mans attention. I like the idea of Marly constantly riling Vexen up and getting under his skin and just generally being a smarmy little annoyance until Vexen pins him to a desk and rails him and Marluxia is just like 'oh my god I didn't know he had this amount of energy in him <3' lmaooo

One of the concepts my chat and I discuss a lot is Vexen and Saix together (which may not be a surprise lmao) - I like the idea of twisting this element of a not-quite-fatherly-bond but like. Vexen wanted the best for Saix. Wanted him to grow up and live and be able to have normality but he just sees Saix struggle with responsibility and possession and everything. Saix being so at his wits end and needing some form of care, any form of care, from anyone who is even half genuine - and he goes to Vexen, who has always been there for him to some extent, who Xemnas hates, who has this way of being guiding and nurturing and its comfortable even though it is kind of strange but they somehow just end up going for it - Vexen of course having so much guilt over bedding someone who he almost saw as a kind of son, wondering about what lines he has crossed, if this is yet another wrong thing to add to his list of dubious moral failures - but ultimately he just wants Saix to have a safe place to outlet, and, hey, if the Diviner comes to him to blow of some steam, tucked away from everyone else, then its better than then seeking out a fight or trying to do something reckless, right? heehee. listen I'm a gross little pervert theres a tasty mix of age gap and authority and it just hints at a daddy kink while not actually being anything specifically gross and I think it could be a super fun dynamic for me to write about at length sometime. I plan on doing a fic on it eventually - but as you know my heart says that Saix ends up elsewhere eventually hahaha this is one of those backburner pairings that I don't put a ton of focus on, its just a fun idea that I think has potential.

(I do have a fic planned where, unfortunately, bad things happen to Vexen in order to further the XemSai agenda. I will perhaps not go into it here but. He uh. He definitely features in it in a major way lmao;;;)

and of course I've seen you mention Vexen and Luxord and by God one day I will explore that because as a British blonde little gayboy I need to put Luxord in more situations

[cheeseplants]

Tagged by @doonarose

How many works do you have on ao3? 12

What's your total ao3 word count? It's 176,820 if you count the massive Choose Your Own Adventure fic, but 59,604 if you don't.

What fandoms do you write for? Good Omens, obviously

Top five fics by kudos:

The Human Manual (E) - Angel Crowley & Angel Aziraphale Make an Effort for the first time in Heaven after reading through the Human Manual. Silly humorous fluff written for the @goodomensafterdark Smut war.

Angel, it’s cold outside (E) - I wanted them to spoon. It's cold outside, Crowley turns up to help Aziraphale warm up... in bed. Also written for the smut war!

I’m Dreaming of a Light (and Dark) Christmas (T) - A cute fluffy as Hell Hallmark-inspired Christmas fic of human Aziraphale and Crowley fighting with over-the-top Christmas decorations.

One Night in Bethlehem (E) - A random sort of PWP Christmas one-shot of Crowley teaching Aziraphale several firsts on the first-ever Christmas. The aim was to write porn but not have them kiss! There is plenty pining.

The Ecstasy of Eden (E) - My current WIP, a rather ridiculous 5 in 1 fic written for the High Pollen Sex Pollen event. 5 times they used sex pollen, and the one time they didn't Through the Ages fic.

Do you respond to comments? Yes! I think I am fully caught up on responding to all of them.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Well, I wrote a lot of the bad endings in the Choose Your Adventure fic Coming Home, if you found yourself being like - noooo, that was likely me. I have also left my current WIP in a state of angst before updating. And fully completed I'd probably say Angel, it’s cold outside has a pretty bittersweet ending.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? It's got to be I’m Dreaming of a Light (and Dark) Christmas, no canon compliant messiness to deal with there. Just good ol' Christmas cheer.

Do you get hate on fics? I got a weird comment that made no sense, but it wasn't hate.

Do you write smut? YES. And so much more than I ever would have thought. I am literally writing a back-to-back porny WIP that is 30k long. Though after that I may take a break and write a bit of Gen/T, I have some cute Outsider POV ideas I want to do.

Craziest crossover: I mean it has to be Good Omens and Clippy the Microsoft paperclip for a collab Christmas fic.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I doubt it!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, Clippy as above. And the CYOA adventure fic was an insane collab. Trying to do a couple of collabs at the moment.

All time favorite ship? Azicrow! But I am tempted to also write some Angelfish (Dagon/Michael) and big up to @isiaiowin for making me into Shax/Furfur (PHEW 🔥).

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I found a random draft of a WIP where Aziraphale Falls to Hell and sets up a bookshop down there and slowly falls back in love with Crowley. And it's a great concept but is on the backburner alongside all my other WIPs.

What are your writing strengths? Humour! I can write some silly set pieces, and people often say they cackle at it. I have been complimented on making silly stuff also hot. I guess that's a strength.

What are your writing weaknesses? GRAMMAR. OMG I am slowly learning how to use commas correctly and semi-colons and all that. Description I feel I need to do more of, I am often like - action, dialogue and forget to set the scene.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I mean my husband speaks like seven languages and often roasts me for people a typical Brit who can half cobble together a sentence in terrible Spanish. But if I needed to write any, he's right there!

First fandom you wrote in? I'm a newbie in my thirties! So I guess this one Good Omens. I think I probably wrote some Postman Pat and Animals of Farthing Wood stories when I was a child, so maybe them?

Favorite fic you've written? EEEP it's hard. I have a special place in my heart for I’m Dreaming of a Light (and Dark) Christmas. It was the first fic I properly wrote, and I love I still get kudos and comments on it in summer despite it being a Christmas fic. I also have a WIP currently titled Small Town Romance which is my baby, and hopefully it will soon see the light of day!

I tag: @zin-lynn-c, @isiaiowin, @fuzzygoblin, & @kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon

[piastrinorris]

thanks to @pollenallergie i haven't stopped thinking about older!tom grant for days now, and while any fics i could write about him need to be put on the backburner for now (there's one that's been in the pipeline for a While now), here's some headcanons of my interpretation of what lil tommy g is like as an adult:

(under the cut bc long)

(also as i'm writing this i may or may not be planning fics that happen at each stage of the timeline)

(also x2 before any of u weirdos start hopping into my ask box, this is in no way trying to overshadow cassie's version of him, i'm just throwing my own ideas into the void. i love cassie's tom, and then in a separate universe, i can have my tom, too. also he's p much every guy i've ever pulled except he's way more romantic than any of my exes, so this is more self-catharsis than anything else LMAO)

okay so tom's timeline post-canon:

after his lil summer gigs at the caravan park, he moved back up north to derby and got a job at a construction company that's owned by an old family friend, like his dad's childhood best friend. it was always a given, even when he wanted to pursue a life living down in cornwall, he just couldn't stop associating the whole place with ruth and heartbreak and all manner of things that weighed heavy on his heart. and fuck that, right? he's got his whole life ahead of him!

he spends his first few years as a legal adult the way all british lads do - by spending at least two nights a week at some kind of pub, bar or nightclub. he can pull, of course, but the convenience of still living with his parents gives him an excuse to put off going any further with anyone. cassie's anon who suggested bi tom, i'm kissing you so hard on your forehead rn bc he'd literally spend like almost a year being just shy of his Hoe Phase, making out with anyone who wants to, regardless of their gender, but only while he's at the club, he never lets himself go further.

until that one night when his parents are away and his mates know full well that he's got no excuse and they're very obviously egging him on. (this would probably be the first fic in the series)

he moves out from his parents' place into a flat with a friend he's made outside of work, and that's when his lil slut era truly begins. (maybe a series of blurbs for this?) he lives with a friend he's made outside of work (any gender, it's not relevant bc bi!tom and his flatmate are 100% Best Buds For Life but also if neither of them find anyone worth pulling on a night out, they'll go back to the flat and fool around together anyway)

in his working life, tom absolutely thrives at the construction company. mostly bc he's known the workers his whole life, so he can have plenty of banter with them, but also, more importantly, he knows just enough IT skills to be able to help the owner with digitalising all the admin stuff. this means tom rises the ranks to supervisor pretty quickly, and everyone loves little Boy Wonder himself. he hates being in the office though, he's always out on site wherever the company's got jobs going. he's hands-on, he wants to help, he doesn't want to be a Big Boss Type

okay, from now on, this is the part in tom's life where he meets you, the person who ends up as his endgame. so this is a different character to those i might write about in his hoe phase, probably time skip a few years of tom taking a break from slutting it up and just casually dating until he knows exactly what he wants to give and take from a relationship.

and then he meets you. it's summer, and your work bestie has invited you over to her place to meet her boyfriend and her non-work friends for the first time. you're a little nervous, but you remember that she has a dog, so if all else fails, you can just go full Party Dog mode and switch everyone else off

it's not that you don't like her friends from outside of work, you just have way less in common with them than you do her, and it feels awkward trying to put yourself in conversations without her there, and she's all over this new fella of hers, so you go to your failsafe to find that someone else has had the same idea as you

tom's come along as support for his best friend, who's dating your work bestie. however, since the boyfriend is being walked like a dog around the whole party being introduced to everybody, tom isn't as sociable and was promised there'd be a Party Dog there, so he's gone looking, himself.

you guys bond v quickly over being Party Dog People, spending the night narrating different groups as though you're david attenborough and taking it in turns to let the dog comment in silly voices you both make up for it

stupidly, you don't get his number, or even his last name. one thing you'd learned about him is that he doesn't really use social media, which you can tell from the instagram account you find from several hours of snooping lightly browsing, which was last updated when he'd gone on a lads' holiday to ibiza several years ago, and only features group shots in which he's tiny and his face is mostly obscured with sunglasses. which means you've got to try and convince your work bestie to invite you somewhere that her boyfriend's friends are gonna be, too

thankfully, this is nice n easy, bc tom's been planning the exact same on his end. you guys get so lost in conversation all night that you almost forget to ask for his number, until you're rolling down the window in the back of the Uber you've ordered and he's hanging halfway through it to make sure he studies the screen so that he can make sure that everything he thinks he's saying matches up with what he actually is

the Uber driver gets a little peeved about this and is like "listen mate just get in so i can drive off" and tom sheepishly complies, ending up riding all the way home with you. you'd feel rude if you didn't invite him in, though a little part of you is sad that tom's just probably gonna be another one night stand bc you really liked him. you get another drink for the two of you once you're inside, he suggests the two of you watch something for a bit for some background noise. naturally, you cuddle up, and that leads to kissing - a lot of kissing. but he doesn't try it on any further. you both end up falling asleep on the couch until you wake up to the sight, sound n smell of him making himself home in your kitchen, cooking you breakfast

you guys have this sort of, slightly more than friends, not exactly friends with benefits, relationship that he isn't out here jumping the gun trying to define, so neither are you. you're trying to stay casual with it, to keep up with him, even though your work bestie keeps pushing you for more bc she doesn't believe that that's just what you guys are, but she's not making any hints that tom's suggested taking things further, and so neither will you. (would it be an rj fic if there wasn't a comedy of errors thanks to basic miscommunication? lol)

either a significant amount of months pass, or valentine's day approaches, and tom gets you a gift. it's not any big grand gesture, but it's something that v much pertains to something you really love. a hobby, an interest, some silly little objectification of an inside joke) you feel bad, of course, and he insists that he's just a gift giver by nature, it wasn't done with the intention of getting anything back. but after many minutes of bargaining, he relents and allows you to invite him over for a homecooked meal. this is when you guys talk it all out, explain that both of you have felt a Spark but didn't want to Assume so you'd been dialling it back to protect your friendship with each other. naturally: tom ends up spending the night, but not a lot of sleeping happens, if you catch my drift

now in terms of what the dynamic is with you and older!tom:

he's still the menace he was in his younger days. you head into the office to give him the lunch he forgot to make bc he'd been running late too busy eatin something ELSE amiRIGHT and his coworkers tease you for being so in love that you'll bend over backwards for him and you know as soon as they've said that, that any second tom'll be leaning in once they're looking the other way to mutter in your ear about how you certainly were bent over backwards for him last night

speaking of, remember how he hated being in the office? not once he starts dating you. any excuse he can get to have you in there with him, whether his colleagues know or he's snuck you in, he's there

i also think that. okay i'm also co-opting @mypoisonedvine's idea of tom having a housewife kink, but hear me out. so, you know there's that saying, if you joke about a kink long enough, you'll end up into it? i think something similar-but-not-really happens to tom. where he works with a bunch of older men with "traditional" values, they're always making jokes about being in trouble with the missus, or about whether he can't stay after work bc you've got the dinner on and you're expecting him home. and tom isn't afraid to call them out on it, to tease them right back that it sucks for them that their partners aren't into them, but he's just built different. but the more he vocalises against being into the idea of you being a stay-at-home wife, the more taboo it becomes. which means the sexier that idea becomes. which means soon enough, he's dreaming about you, looking after the house while he makes sure he can look after you. it becomes obvious after a while that he's got a specific fantasy in mind for you, so he eventually tells you, and you're into it, too. especially considering construction pays pretty decently once you're up the ladder like tom is, technically you're one let's do it away from making your fantasy a reality. but there's just something about sensationalising something so easily obtainable, but not giving into it, that makes it all the more exciting for you both

i don't think either of you fully make your minds up about whether you want to start a family or live the dink (double income, no kids) life forevermore and use your money to spoil each other. i think you guys spend most of your twenties and maybe some of your early thirties just enjoying life, travelling the world, indulging yourselves, until eventually you settle down. a lot of yours and tom's friends, especially the ones who have already started families of their own, question why you wouldn't want to start young, grow up with your kids, and then enjoy your later years without the responsibility. but you and tom have talked it through, and his mindset has always been that you don't stop being a parent once the kid hits 18, and that he's always thought life was for living, not for saving up for a future that never ends up coming because you're forever saving up for it

i've written way more than i initially intended to LOL but yeah, i might make this something? i might not? idk. but this is my tommy. <3

[rando-lesbo210]

So weird I'm posting so much but I've been in an art streak and man songs are great to get ideas

My Ordinary Life by the Living Tombstone is a goddamn great song, and so I present a snippet comic with Hyperion angel and a basic snapshot

Also got the lyrics next to it

I originally was gonna do more but it was eh with the next lyrics, I could've done silver platter better but it's all my brain would come with at that moment- it's not the GREATEST I could've done, but starting new with comics and don't wanna burnout on a fun side thing by trying to do the best every panel

I'm debating a part two with the ending ish of the song, but it's quite a lot, however I love my gaslighting girlboss and just might do most at least. I know I want to do the line "Touch me, Midas, Make me part of your design" in a reference with Jack, she's at a very mixed standpoint on her feelings so discussion about him isn't usually wise.

I also want to do "All my muses left behind" as the separation between her and the Crimson Raiders (They never had a good relationship period unlike Canon)

Anyways side goofy also semi elaborating, roughly she keeps her behavior and acts like when she was guarding the vhs, especially for press to keep positive image. However, she Hates the Raiders, they remind her of when she was sick and weak. She does blame Lilith for Jack's behavior getting worse, so there's that rift. Gaige thinks it's funny seeing her slip and get upset, gotta fuck with corporates somehow anyways. (Also angel heavily improves the robotics and more for Hyperion, so unfortunately it's made Gaige want to fuck up Hyperion shit more to get some goodies and upgrades for free)

I'll avoid making this any longer and maybe put her lore in another post but hope you guys like these! I might do one for each of my aus actually and promote the fics if I have them posted currently- I will avoid spoilers though for those, but for now I don't have a set fic or story for Hyperion Angel to even write, there's ideas, but they're on the backburner for now.

[writebethany]

20 questions for fic writers

Just because i saw it and wanted to 😂

How many works do you have on ao3?

138

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

2,336,801

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Started with Warehouse 13 and bering and wells, then wandered into OUAT and Swanqueen, then DWP and Mirandy, then a stint in Pitch Perfect 2 specifically for Becommissar because mmm Kommissar, a blip into Supergirl some for Supercat, more for General Danvers (tangentially also Supercorp but that's more for the fact that I run the chirstmas exchange than anything, love those kids, not my usual ship), and a crossover or two with Legends of Tomorrow with Supercanaary in there too in that same era, two seconds in ot3 shipping in The Greatest Showman because Jenny Lind mhm, one fic in Steven Universe because poly!diamonds, then into Harry Potter for anything to do with the Black Sisters and Hermione and occasionally Lucius which is still on going, but a bit backburnered because I've also fallen into writing fic for The Librarians this year centered around some pairing of Cassandra, Eve and Jenkins for the most part. Basically. It's a lot, and a lot of bouncing around between larger eras in specific fandoms lol.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Ask me No Questions (I'll Tell You No Lies) [HP Hermione/Narcissa/Anathema], Heaven When We're Home [HP Hermione/Narcissa], By All Accounts [Supergirl, Supercorp (apprciate you guys but I'm still confused by that😂)], Coffee Shops and Vigilantes [Supergirl/Legends of Tomorrow, Supercanary], Sincerely Yours [HP Hermione scores a hat trick]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to as much as possible, especially in smaller fandoms. Sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed at it falls by the wayside, but I come back eventually.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhhhh there's usually one in every fandom I stay in for long enough where I just go full nuclear angst and no happy ending. Probably the worst of the worst Offenders is "I Hate to Kill You (I Hate to Die)" for obvious reasons if you've read it, but "of all the things I never told you" and "Halfway Through the Woods" are also up there and in probably last place but still *very* angsty is "Better This Way"

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hard to pick. Save for those fics I'm a happy ending hoe. Probably the most rewarding happy ending will be for "The Sun Must Set to Rise" but that isn't published yet. I'm actually procrastinating the wrap up that story right now by doing this 😂😅

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Out right "you suck" hate? Once or twice. But there has been whining in the past on my stories about how I never finish anything or that I update too slow and why am I like this. *Those comments get responded to with some lessons in manners*

9. Do you write smut?

*looks at the tab beside Sun Must Set to Rise* I have no idea what you're talking about. But yeah, some pwp but a lot of smut as the pay off in long fics to put that cherry on top of them.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Have before, though they aren't my main thing, and unclear if Supergirl/Legends counts since like. The shows actually did that themselves once a season 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think I ended up on a scraping website that people posted about on tumblr all of once. Not mad about not having to fight that lol.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had people ask before, but they're on different databases than ao3 so I haven't really checked on how that went for them.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Several! Two of my closest fandom friends have cowritten with me and one IRL friend. Some of them got finished, others did not, but it was fun along the way.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

??????? I know there are people out there who have stuck in one fandom and only one fandom for longer than I've been writing and they definitely have the answer to this, but I have ADHD and doooooo not. If I had to pick at gunpoint, I'd probably say Harry Potter Hat Trick, but unless you point a gun at me I'm not answering.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Probably "Sometimes it's Soft Hands and Mailing Envelopes" it was a big part of my life in 2015 and I obsessed over it and wrote it and its sequel at such a fast pace, especially for going into my senior year of college. But I've reread the prequel and it's cute and I started reading it over again and just went 'I know where I wanted this to go, I can see how I would get there, I don't want to do that though' because it's a very slice of life story about moving in with your girlfriend and both you and your girlfriend navigating a new job/grad school and I've lived both of those experiences now, and especially I do not want to relive grad school, but also I don't usually write long slice of life things anymore. Sci-fi/fantasy and plot heavy for lyfe lol. But I do wish I had finished it at the time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think over arching plot, like I'm good at fitting the pieces together where they need to go to make a believable story, which is good when you tend towards writing more mystery-esque 'solve a problem' fic. Also dialogue as a secondary. There is no struggle here to make these bitches say words.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have DEBILITATING wordy bitch disease. This could be managed if I edited stories before posting them, but I don't. I'm doing well to edit my original work, thanks. So it leads to a lot of fics that are probably 20-50k too long and drag on the point for a bit. I *have* gotten better at it though. The White Queen is probably 100k too long oh my god, I try to forget she exists, even if it's one of the most popular fics I've written.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have before, mostly in Pitch Perfect since Kommissar is German. It was a good experience. I probably wouldn't do it again unless I either knew the language or it was made up. In text notes so the reader gets what was said are the most awkward thing to deal with in the history of ever.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warehouse 13. I hadn't known about fic for that long before starting to write for it. I also hadn't realized that I was a big ole homo, which in the late 00s/early 10s fanfic was the only fucking way I was going to see two ladies kiss and by god I was going to leverage the award winning writing skills I had gained writing terrible, original, teenager ficition to do it.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I think for a long, long time it was Of Cats, Giraffes, and Mice. It's just so very soft and caring and for a long while I could just feel that care and sink right into it and it just felt like the best thing I'd ever written. Rereading it now, it's still a very good fic, but I'm starting to see the little holes here and there as I grow as a writer. It's still good! I love it to death, and to talk about favorites without it would be incomplete, but I think that it's important to mention that even your best work eventually loses a bit of shine, no less dear, a huge stepping stone in the right direction, just not the top one anymore.

I think now my favorite is Heaven When We're Home. It has all of those hallmarks that Of Cats, Giraffes, and Mice did, if shorter, and there's a lyrical note to the writing and word choice in it that I have NO idea how I did (not being sober when writing probably didn't hurt) and I'm still chasing that sort of writing even now 2 years later.

[sugar-phoenix]

this or that post

I wasn't tagged but @rownanisntwriting left their tag post open for anyone so I took it <3 you can find it here !!

historical or futuristic

I'm okay with research but I'm scared of estimating something from the past and some historian being like "actually you're wrong" so I would struggle (I already struggle when I write my victorian era fantasy settings {steampunk?} and have to think about things that I don't know about) -- futuristic kind of has that appeal of like we don't know what's going to happen in the future so I tend to write that more than historical.

opening or closing chapter

I LOVE WRITING OPENINGS I LOVE WRITING INTRIGUING OPENINGS -- to be honest I love writing intriguing closings to chapters as well, they both bring me joy but opening chapters bring me more joy. because i love writing a thought from one of the character's pov, and then switching to another character in the next chapter directly opposing that thought hahahaha it gives me so much joy and power and I love it so much~

light+fluffy or dark+gritty

Dark and gritty all the way, give me your angst, your monsters, your dark haired lover in the night. I wanna see pining, I wanna see two lovers on two sides of a war, I wanna see enemies fall in love with each other, I wanna see fights, I wanna see RAW. OPEN. WOUNDS.

animal companion or found family

I love animals and I'm not a huge fan of family (don't mind reading it, have a hard time writing it) so yeah. animal companion on this one. I actually love reading animal companions, especially when they can talk to the character, so yeah, would love to write that too.

horror or romance

Romance. All the way. I do love writing morbid things but honey I pretty much only read/write romance. I love building up the romantic tension, the relationship. I love reading it unfold before my eyes. ugh. romance. 💖

hard magic system or soft magic system

I like a magic system with clear rules on what you can and can't do, and I think that I like soft magic systems but I think I tend to write sort of.. hard-leaning magic systems since my brain wants to find a logical rule for everything. I don't like terrifyingly scientific magic systems that hurt my brain and take a long time to explain, but clear cut rules are nice (i honestly have no clue where the line is between a hard magic system and a soft magic system help)

standalone or series

I like both but to me the idea of writing a standalone is nice. A whole adventure, all the action, romance, and drama bundled up into one clean package. The plot would also be simpler/shorter too so... yeah idk it's just nice for me to think about I think I'd like to write one.

one project at a time or always juggling 2+

yeah uhhh i have a fanfiction, a main wip that I wanted to write but is now ultimately on the backburner due to me being too scared to try to outline it without figuring out the two magic systems which are a hell in themselves, and I might be dreaming up a new wip. so. yeah.

one award winner or one bestseller

Honestly I'd like an award winner but if bestseller gets me more acclaim and chances of my book being turned into a movie/show (which, make no mistake about it I will be watching their every move to ensure they do not butcher my masterpiece) then yeah I would take bestseller. Either is fine, though.

fantasy or sci-fi

yeah I don't hate sci-fi but I write and read fantasy WAY WAY WAY more. like almost only. fantasy. rarely do I read sci-fi nowadays, although it's not a hard thing for me to read/write. I just really like dark princes who rule over a magical kingdom, magical animals in a magical forest, etc. you get the point.

character description or setting description

I like both but I pay way more attention to character description than setting description. I'm sorry but flowery descriptions of characters get me so bad,, it might be because I'm an artist and I like making characters as pretty/quirky as possible so yeah. talk to me about how your ml has "silver blue eyes" or how your fl has "auburn hair."

first draft or final draft

I have not reached a final draft yet but I long for the day where I have and I look at all my work and think about all the work I've been doing over the past months (years??) and go "it's finally over." and then I have a whole manuscript that I can actually try to publish. like, getting to the "i'm ready to publish" stage is such a big goal for me.

love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

yeah no. I'd rather have a series/book be entirely platonic than have a bunch of love triangles.

constant sandstorm or rainstorm

rainstorm!!!! i love the rain so much. ⛈️⛈️ I also love the ambience of thunder + flashing lighting

[leavingautumn13]

Artist asks: 5, 7, 8, 19, and 27

[weirdly specific artist ask game]

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

i keep most of my art to myself. most of the work i do is extremely sketchy or (in my opinion) too niche to post. i don't want to bog peoples' dashes down with my silly little sketches so i don't share. (...if people are really interested in my warmups / studies / incomprehensible oc doodles i will share, i guess.)

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

screen printing. i would love to do it but just don't have the resources. people make really cool clothing with it though.

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

uh. i don't think i've lost interest in any of my old projects? sometimes they wind up on the backburner and often i'm very slow to turn out content. but i'm still working on my two big fic projects, still working on ats... i'm just. very slow.

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

i love drawing flowers but i also hate drawing flowers. there are so many little details to get right. on nice days i like to go to the park and do in-person studies in pencil. sometimes i get lucky and there are bees to draw too.

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

i try to warm up but sometimes i'm bad at it! usually i do figure studies to warm up since most of my art is of people. often these warmups turn into oc doodles. really, i need to buckle down and get better at doing warmups--they really do help.