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selanaris · 5 years ago

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May I ask for angst in the form of TFA Megs and TFP Orion? Thanks for your wonderful writing btw :3

awwwwwwwwww tanksss, I am happy to see the few that have stuck around the longest, my inconsistent posting and such, but this is a hobby, not a job, so thank you for sticking around >.< (hope this is angsty enough for you)

~~~~

It’s been a few years since Orion first arrived out of thin air, Decepticon morale is at its highest, and the war was leaning in their favor. Megatron had almost everything he wanted, and soon enough he will lead Cybertron into a new age, with Orion at his side. No one attempted to ruin the plans, even Starscream was in support, even if he was following Orion more than Megatron, but that is an issue for another day.

Now, they surrounded Cybertron, waiting for the battle to start, for their home to belong to them once again. Never will they be slaves, never will they go back to the mines and be nothing but mindless armies. Megatron smiled at his coming victory and went to find his beloved.

The warlord arrived at Orion's library, his own personal collection outside the main library in New Kaon. “Orion... We are ready to attack.” he said softly while knocking on the door. No response. “Orion, my star?” Megatron asked quietly, thinking that the small archivist was asleep again. He opened the door slowly, but was slightly surprised to find the library empty, “Orion?” He now mumbled in surprised.

Orion’s datapads were here, his journals and books, all opened and unfinished, “He would never leave his journal out in the open…” Megatron said to himself before reaching for the datapad. He probably shouldn’t be reading this, but… Wait… Not even reading it, something felt off. The journal was on a new page, only half a paragraph before an abrupt ending, not even a finished word. It’s not like the little autobot to leave words unfinished. Megatron had a bad feeling in his gut.

He turned on his comm, trying to call Orion, nothing but static, the comm didn’t exist. Megatron began to panic and started to comm Strika, “General, have you seen Orion?” he asked while trying to stay calm.

“Sir, we are in the middle of a war, do you think it’s time to come down and fight rather than look for your imaginary friend?” Said the strict general.

“What… No Orion, the one who has been coming up with all these battle plans!” Yelled the Warlord.

“So you have said my lord, and we have been playing along for too long. I knew I should have taken you to hook. Get over here, the Autobots… THEY’RE COM-” The comm ended in an explosion that shook the entire ship.

Megatron was left staring at the wall, Orion’s comm was gone, Strika didn’t know who he was. The warlord looked at the journal, only to see it beginning to erase itself. “No… nononoNO!” he panicked as everything about Orion began to disappear. Megatron then started to send himself what he could… All he was able to save was one paragraph.

“Megatron, He took me out to dinner tonight. Well, he promised to buy me a library if I went, and I wasn’t going to tell him that I don’t need a library to go out with him. I was scared of him at first, but over time, I’ve learned, he’s lonely, wants company, someone to read his poetry. He had good in him, he just needed the encouragement to do so. I have shown him the light to all frames, not all autobots are bad, not all decepticons are good, and vice versa. He asked me to bond with him once the war ended, I told him, I will consider it if he strives for peace over domination. He looked eager to do so, talking about what to include in peace treaties, on how to reintegrate the warframes into the society peacefully. I love it when he talks politics, he smiles when he talks about the future, I want to be there for that.”

Megatron stared at this paragraph, his comm flashing with warning, Decepticons yelling for a retreat, an evacuation. Yet all of these pleas went on deaf audials as Megatron was lost. “Orion… Orion… Who is… who am I…” the name slipped his mind, his memories. Orion Pax didn’t exist here, and the only sign of his existence… was the paragraph that Megatron saved.

~~~~

The decepticons were beaten all the way back to New Kaon, and even that wasn’t safe as the Autobots followed them and decimated the planet. All the decepticons had to scatter into space, those who couldn’t get away were killed or captured. The Decepticons were defeated. Lost and scattered. All that was left of the once great army was small groups of stragglers trying to survive.

Millions of years had passed, Megatron remained on the Nemesis, the lights constantly turned off to save the dwindling resources. The once full and lively ship was empty, all that was left was a few Decepticons and the Warlord. The ship was littered with the bodies of Decepticons, none who survived the time since their defeat. Death of starvation, injuries, infighting, or just time wearing on them. Megatron began to lose hope of anything. Now he spent days sitting on his dusty throne, staring at the paragraph from an non-existent source. He stared at it, the message with a name, once that was incomplete as it was rushed to write on it, all he could make out was that it started with an ‘O’. Megatron would read this message and his spark would strain, looking for someone who didn’t exist. Yet, he could never bring himself to delete it. Or to give up his search for this mystery love.

#maccadam #maccadams #macaddam #transformers #transformers animated #Transformers Prime #tfp orion pax #Orion Pax #megatron x orion pax #TFA Megatron #megop #Orion got sent back to his universe #the universe was trying to correct itself

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disneygirl2202 · 5 years ago

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You Did What? (Keith x reader)

Requested?: Yes @tearjuluna

Request: Hi, not so sure if I'm doing this right. It's my first time to ask or request. May I request KeithxReader where they haven't seen each other for quite some time (like with Keith leaving for space without Reader knowing) and they suddenly met each other again? Love your work btw 😁😁😁

A/N: I had this written before my cat came and closed my tab, deleting everything I had! Which means, I wrote this twice. I hope you enjoy!

Your P.O.V.

You walk towards the shack, needing to talk to Keith about something that was bothering you back at the garrison. Three cadets going missing the same night. It wasn’t normal.

“Keith?” You ask

You look around to see the shack completely empty. You shake your head before turning out.

--Time skip to when Galra first invaded--

“Commander Holt, you wanted to see me?” You ask as you walk in

“Ahh, you must be Y/N Y/L/N?” He asks

“That’s me sir.” You laugh

“My daughter and Keith talked very highly of you when I was with them. You hold a special place in most of those paladin’s hearts it seems like.” He says “But I have something for you. It’s a video much like the one Lance and Hunk made for their families. But my wife and I thought only you should see this one.”

He leans over his desk, handing you a hard drive, closing your hand around it.

You thank him before heading towards your room. You set it down on the table in front of you, pushing the button. You watch a screen show up to show Keith in some sort of armor.

“Hey Y/N, I know I left without saying goodbye and you probably hate me because of it.” Keith laughs “But just know that it wasn’t entirely my fault. Lance can be someone you blame.”

You laugh as you sit on the edge of your bed, listening to Keith tell you the stories of what he has encountered while being in space, fighting for the universe.

“Y/N I know I never told you while I was down on earth with you.” Keith starts “But I do want to tell you this now. I love you, I don’t want you to forget that. Being up here, I never know what might happen while I’m here. I just want you to know that one truth.”

You smile before hearing your door open, James standing there.

“They need us.” He says

-~-

“Adam!” You yell as you watch his screen go dark

You look towards the Admiral as she looks over the screens, trying to process everything at once.

“We need to listen to Commander Holt!” You yell “Adam and those people didn’t have to go out there and die because of your ignorance!”

You watch the Admiral look at you, shaking her head.

“Send the MFE fighters.” She says

You look at James and your team before running off towards the ships.

“Y/N, I’m sorry about Adam.” James says through the comms

“So am I. Let’s make it to where he didn’t die in vain.” You say before taking to the air

Keith’s P.O.V.

I look around the ruins, trying to take in that this was our home at one point.

I see a shot fly past my head.

“Lance, Hunk, take out those drones!” I say

I watch as they quickly destroy the drones only to have drones and sentries head towards our position.

“What? They just keep coming!” Pidge says

I watch as an orange glow passes us, destroying three of the drones.

“We had that,” I grumble as I turn to see three people aiming their guns

I study the three standing there in front of their AMVs. I shake my head before putting my bayard away.

“Your weapons won’t scramble their distress signals like ours will.” A deeper voice says

“Now get into the cars, we need to get out of here before more show up.” Another says

Shiro and I head towards one car, hopping into the back with Kosmo sitting in between us.

“Where are we going?” I ask

“The garrison.” The driver responds

I look out to see the orange particle barrier.

It couldn’t be her. She would still be a cadet...

-~-

I watch as Pidge jumps into her mom’s arms while Lance’s niece and nephew jump into his. I smile before petting Kosmo’s head.

“James, you need to calm down.” A voice says

I look back to see two of the ones that came to our aid standing in between the cars, arguing between themselves. I watch as one takes their helmet off to reveal James Griffen as he walks away.

I watch as the other one takes off their helmet, Y/H/C hair falling out of their helmet. I watch as they turn around, Y/E/C eyes boring into mine. They quickly look away before following James.

“Shiro, I need to go do something,” I say

“Go save your relationship if it isn’t already too late.” He says “I got Kosmo.”

I follow behind them, hearing Y/N yell at James.

“They ditched you Y/N! How can you still stand up for them?!” James yells “They let us become enslaved by those people! They let people like Adam die because they weren’t here sooner!”

“James! They were trying to stop it. They didn’t know that they had come to earth.” Y/N argues

“I want to assure you, that was never our plan,” I say

“Keith?” Y/N asks

“Hey. Think we could talk?” I ask

She looks at me before nodding, watching as James looks at me as he walks off.

“You’ve changed.” She comments “You’re more of a team worker now.”

“Yeah, I kind of had to learn as I was thrown into a lion with no training.” I laugh “You’ve changed as well.”

“Well, I guess a war will do that to ya.” She tries to laugh “Watching your mentor get killed against recommendations not to send them in helps I guess.”

“I heard about Adam. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you through that.” I whisper

“You were out fighting your own battles.” She says “Besides, I had my team. I’ve gotten better at handling that loss.”

I look at her as she looks at me, a sad smile on her face.

“I never wanted to abandon you like I did,” I explain

“I know. Commander Holt told me.” She says “Doesn’t mean that I don’t hate you for leaving me.”

I look at the ground, rubbing the back of my neck. I watch as a hand reaches over and hesitantly takes mine in theirs. I look up at her.

“I wanted to tell you this as soon as I saw your recording.” She starts “I’ve missed you.”

I look at her before slowly wrapping my arms around her, pulling her into a hug. I feel her grab hold of my armor.

“I just want you to know. I won’t be leaving anytime soon, at least without a goodbye.” I whisper

“I love you too.” She whispers

I smile to myself as I hold her close to me, not wanting to let go.

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bluebirdwrites · 5 years ago

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falcon; dg

> story of her i*

warnings; language? i think that’s it. fem!reader too, if that's a warning

authors note; had to rewrite this after tumblr glitched out lol, hopefully you enjoy (; btw, check my prompt lists, and maybe send some requests if you’d be so kind haha <3 — birdie

Life was a knife’s edge. A precarious tittering balancing act of ‘will we, wont we’ for the little people that could. Life was invigorating and maddening all in one. Your life was sprawling. Distant memories from a past life like a constant pull on your brain, whilst others consumed you wholly and solely until you knew of nothing else but flight.

Life and Flight were much the same in the sense of the feeling of exhilaration whilst there were no barriers, no social constructs. Nothing and everything all at once. It anchored you to consciousness and it anchored you to awareness. But flight was, after all, finite.

The incessance of nagging however, seemed to be beyond the comprehension of infinite, in your household anyway. With or without your agreement it only seemed to get worse with every new person, death, close call or injury. As the oldest it was your job to worry about everyone, sometimes it just didn't occur to you how much that they worried in return.

“Falcon, do you have eyes on the shipment?” She took a deep breath, sucking the air between clenched teeth.

“Affirmative Agent A,” she shifted from foot to foot, readying herself “Ill see you on the other side. Before you even say it, yes I know my chances. I know this is fuckin’ suicidal, but it needs to be done. Don’t tell anyone until I give the signal. Please. I’d like to keep the injuries to just me on this one. Falcon out.”

A reluctant confirmation was heard before the commlink was muted.

She was a wild thing, she knew that. She was overprotective too, that she would also gladly admit. With reluctance, she would also admit that she was reckless at times. Stubborn and self-sacrificing. She was an angry creature too. It constantly licked at her conscience, it powered her wilful and it made her strong.

She shimmied through the hole that she’d created in the top of the shipping container, landing silently on the shoulders of a guard below. He struggled for a minute before he dropped to the ground, unconscious.

“Hell, maybe take me out for dinner first before putting your head between my thighs, it would have worked better,” she rolled her eyes, sucking in her cheeks. Now that one was knocked out she’d have to work quickly. She had her work cut out for her.

She soon found herself surrounded by swarms of thugs with knives, fists, guns and tasers; anything that they could get their hands on really. She considered calling her family, she really did. But where was the fun in that.

She took them down in droves, but they kept on coming. For every one she knocked down, two more seemed to come in their place. By the time she called for backup, she had a gash down her side that was bleeding pretty heavy, and she had many more holes in her skin that weren’t supposed to be there.

“I wonder if he’ll try and ground me this time,” she kicked a thugs gun away and slammed him into a wall. “What the fuck possesses me to be such a basket case?”

When her side decided that it would make her dizzy, she retreated to the high ground. Pulling out her comm and pressing the button three times, she wrapped her side and prepared to jump back into the fray.

After another ten minutes there were around five thugs left, they managed to finally incapacitate her. Two guys held her up whilst the other three questioned her.

“You look pretty bloodied up there sweetheart. I hear you’re quite the looker, shame we had to mess up that pretty face of yours.” The thug stuck his finger into her wounded side.

“Wow, nice to know I have your approval,” she spat in the thugs face, smirking as blood and spit splattered on his cheeks and dripped down her chin. “Do your worst buddy, I’m a big girl I can take it.”

One minute, she was getting kicked on the ground, the next she was seeing flashes of bats, birds and gunslingers. The last guy to go down went down with a thud, hitting the ground probably harder than he should have. It hurt to breathe but she couldn't let them see how hurt she really was, although the gash in her side said otherwise.

Forcing herself upwards she looked toward the bat with a wince. She was in so much trouble.

“Good job guys,” She took a deep breath holding her side. “You really helped me out there. Now, if it’s no trouble, I’m just going to head back to my apartment. Okay? Okay.”

She was immediately stopped by a flash of green grabbing her arm as she attempted to stand. With a glare identical to his fathers, Damien tugged her arm over his shoulder immediately tugging her to stand.

“Grayson, I am aware that you have a death wish, but this is not the time. You are coming back to the cave, stop being idiotic.” He motioned to Jason and Dick to take his place whilst himself and Tim dealt with the clean-up job. Jason sauntered over, slinging her arm over his shoulder whilst Dick jerkily did the same on the other side.

They were both worried, how she hadn't bled out and died they were shocked. But neither questioned it as they hurried to get their sister safely back to the cave, alive preferably.

Now that she was back at the cave she let Alfred take care of her whilst Dick hovered. The gash in her side required many stitches, so did the two bullet holes. She was off duty for a few months, and everyone knew she would only keep going this way.

“Don’t glare at me Richard. And before you start getting all mushy on me, go upstairs and distract Jason before he comes down here to frog march me,” she scowled meaningfully puffing our a breath of air. “I love you too and I’m just wound up, I’ll be up soon okay?”

He nodded and began walking upstairs, knowing he and their brothers would tag team her later. That- and Tim was waiting to speak to her, so he’d leave them alone sibling to sibling. And they’d have their own conversation when they’d both calmed later.

“You keep making us think that we’ll lose you. God, you’re reckless,” he tugged at the roots of his hair before marching towards her and squeezing her tight. “Please don’t be so reckless, we kind of need you. All of us.”

“Sure thing Timmy,” she pulled back from the hug when he was ready. “It’s weird seeing you all so worried about me. Go on upstairs, I’ll be up soon. Do me a favour and tell Dick not to worry so much either, I get the whole ‘you’re my only biological family left’ thing, but it gets smothering.”

After a reluctant nod he too left to wait for her upstairs. She ran her hand through her hair before squinting in the darkness. She frowned, before letting out a low chuckle.

“Come out Bruce,” she licked her lips, cracked and itchy. “I know you, always hiding in the shadows. Pessimistic shit you are.”

He emerged from the darkness with a grimace, words burning on the tip of his tongue. He paused, staring at her for a moment. He looked older, seemingly having aged years in a few hours. He walked closer, sinking down close beside her, uncharacteristically open.

“You could have died,” he stared at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder in a rare moment of fatherly affection. “Tell me one thing, why didn't you call for back-up?”

“Because,” she said leaning her head on his shoulder, and listening to Jason scream he was coming down to her. “I don't want he others to get hurt. God knows you’re worse than I am Dad. I do it because in my own way, I’m keeping you safe by putting myself through hell. If that's all you wanted to know, can you help me upstairs before Jason comes down to carry me up?”

They made their was upstairs, towards the rest of the family. She was the anchor, but like all anchors, she still needed a ship to guide her.

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astudyinimagination · 6 years ago

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Warning: long post ahead.

So I’ve been reminded recently that Luke/Mara is one of my favorite ships, going strong for… 13 years now? That’s how long it’s been since I first read the Thrawn trilogy, holy cow…

Anyway, Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade. Gosh, they’re so CUTE. I mean, pretty much even when Mara was all “IMMA KILL YOU” and Luke was like “Okay, but have you considered: you’re actually probably a decent person and I like you already?”

I mean, seriously.

I’m forever salty that the old Lucasfilm writing board or whatever it was that controlled the old EU didn’t let us have enough Luke/Mara (Zahn was gonna write a book about them doing a family trip with their son! We were ROBBED, I tell you!). But what we did get of the two of them was that they adore each other, that they complement each other well, that they’re a badass team, and that they help each other heal.

Ding-ding-ding! That’s the sound of all my Optimal OTP boxes being ticked off.

Over the years, I’ve come up with a lot of wild AUs, most of which never fully see the light of day, but I always work in Luke/Mara because… you know, I’m contractually obligated. My as-of-yet-unwritten-just-thought-out stuff for the Obi-Wan adopts Mara AU (The Hermit and the Orphan) is my favorite, because Luke and Mara actually grow up together as best friends (not excluding Biggs, mind you!) and sort-of sweethearts. Also, there may or may not have been a time that they snuck up on Jabba’s palace to graffitti it and then ran the heck out of there. They Never Speak Of It, but Obi-Wan knows they did SOMETHING stupid and dangerous that one time, he just doesn’t know what.

But I’ve been thinking recently about a different sort of AU, one that, for the first time out of ANY of my AUs, is actually focused on the two of them.

A lot of Luke/Mara AUs make their relationship serious a whole lot earlier than Hand of Thrawn, right? A popular scenario is that they get serious soon after The Last Command. Which is all good stuff, don’t get me wrong. But I’d like to see more (and maybe they do exist and I just haven’t found them yet) fics in which Luke and Mara meet DURING the Rebellion. During the timeline of the films.

And there are different directions to take this, of course, but the one I want to do is much the same as Hermit, wherein she discovers on her own that Palpatine stole her from her parents and murdered them. (This, btw, is the backstory for Mara in that oneshot I did a while back for a prompt wherein Mara is a siren and Luke is ace and doesn’t understand why the Rogues go goo-goo-ga-ga over her.)

So Mara eventually joins the Rebellion as a defected Imperial agent. Imperials do defect to the Alliance sometimes; it’s not unheard of. The Falcon gang—Han, Chewie, Luke, Leia (and Artoo & Threepio)—are assigned to be Mara’s probationary team. (Han gripes initially but he and Mara hit it off pretty quickly.) Luke eventually adds her to the Rogue Squadron roster and the Rogues are delighted to have someone new to adopt.

And then the Rogues are on a mission and things go very, very sideways. And Mara has to use the Force to save the day somehow.

And it makes sense to Luke now, why he always had a funny feeling around her. He’s still very untrained, mind you, and he didn’t realize that he was picking up on the presence of another Force sensitive, albeit a very muted one—Mara naturally doesn't want the Emperor to have any inkling of where she is.

The Rogues keep her secret. They sometimes discuss what Luke and Mara might be able to do together, everything from serious questions to telekinetic ball games.

But then one day, somebody outside the family finds out.

Mara gets hauled before a tribunal, and some people are wanting her to be locked up or even executed, but the Rogues and the Falcon gang step up and say no. They’ve seen Mara’s heart, they know she’s a good person, they know they’re in no danger from her, they’re not gonna lose a sister. Not this way.

So Mara ends up in the clear and… she was already starting to heal, but this was big. She knew she’d be as safe from the Emperor as she could be in fighting his rule and she’s got the opportunity to get back at him, but she never thought she’d find a family here.

And then the Battle of Hoth happens.

Luke had already told Mara that he was going to go check into a possible living Jedi Master; Mara’s skeptical but wishes him luck. And no, she doesn’t go. She doesn’t want to think about what a Jedi Master might have to say about her, if one would even speak to her at all and not just try to kill her outright and eliminate a potential threat. Instead, she goes with the rest of Rogue Squadron and tells High Command that Luke is following a lead on a living Jedi, and she’s therefore out of the action for most of ESB…

Except that she has flashes of visions of Han and Leia and Chewie in pain. But they can’t be anything to worry about, right?

Until she feels Luke’s pain, in the present. However far away she is physically, they’re close by this point, they’ve done what training together they could, they communicate telepathically sometimes, and she can feel his pain on Cloud City. It’s only a comm from Leia that prevents her from taking off on a wild goose chase to find him.

And it scares her, how bad Luke looks and feels, like he’s been through Hell and back, and he’s Luke, he’s the irritatingly sunny farmboy who never gives up, that’s his schtick, he’s not supposed to be like this.

She’s the broken one.

He’s not supposed to be broken, too.

Mara stays with him a lot while he’s recovering. After one night of sensing his nightmares, she bunks up with him. Totally chaste. She’s there to help him sleep. (And it works, because of course it does. This is still shippy fic. You are going to get the Person A sleeps with Person B to help them through the night trope and you are going to LIKE IT.)

And eventually, in the midst of planning Han’s rescue (and Jabba’s downfall), Luke opens up to Mara. It’s the kind of secret that is begging, screaming, to be told, and if anyone could understand what he’s feeling right now, it’d be Mara.

And the sad thing is that Mara feels more kinship with Luke now than ever.

So, here’s a sidebar: I LOVE the Luke/Vader subgenre of fic in the fandom. It’s just—*clenches fist*—SO GOOD. I love the trope of villainous fathers with heroic sons, and it started with them. And if the heroic son helps the villainous father redeem himself, even better.

But here’s another thing: I’ve also been writing heroic daughters being in conflict with their fathers for a long time. It was years before I understood what I was doing—I was working through my own real life issues. And the thing is that here and now, years after that understanding, I’m still writing that dynamic.

The closest thing Mara has to a father is Palpatine. And, more or less, that’s how she thinks of him. He is the man who raised her. He raised her, and trained her a little, and made her his assassin.

And he also kidnapped her as a baby and murdered her real parents.

All that love that Mara had for him turned to hatred, and there is no hatred more powerful or more complicated than the kind that used to be love.

And yet, she still thinks of him as her father. She can’t get away from that.

But like hell is she going to let Luke go through what she’s going through if she can help it.

Darth Vader, the man Palpatine used to encourage her childhood fear of, is the Anakin Skywalker she’s heard snatches of stories about while running around the galaxy with Luke and the Rogues.

And maybe there’s a chance that he’s not as far gone as everyone would assume.

So she takes a ship and uses her old Hand code to get herself docked in the Executor. Vader definitely wants to know what this is all about, because that code is specific to Mara herself, the one Emperor’s Hand who went truly rogue. And she tells him straight up that, look, she doesn’t care about him one bit, but she does care about Luke Skywalker. She’s never gonna be able to get to know her own father (slipping that in to let Vader know why exactly she left), but if Luke still wants to have a relationship with his father, she wants him to have a shot at that.

(At some point during this conversation, Vader threatens Mara, and she’s scared, yes, because she knows he’s more powerful, but she points out: “You just tortured your son’s best friends and cut off his hand. You have a long way to go in the goodwill department.” He doesn’t need to be hurting or killing yet another of his son’s friends.)

He wants to know what she has in mind, then, and she tells him straight up: get Han back. She says outright that if he doesn’t do it, she and Luke and only a handful of friends are going to go rescue Han because the Alliance can’t spare anyone else, and she doesn’t like those odds. Vader has the resources and they don’t: send people to Tatooine to free Han and the slaves and overthrow Jabba. As a goodwill gesture, it’d be pretty weighty.

She gives him a private comm number and says that if Han’s returned to them safe and sound, she’ll try to help him and Luke meet somewhere just to meet. Has to be totally neutral ground—she’s not gonna help Vader capture his son. But she’ll help them try to have a conversation more or less like normal people if they’re both willing to try.

“Why are you doing this?”

“If you knew Luke, you’d know why. I want him to be happy. And even after everything you’ve done to him, and to the people he cares about… he still wants his father.”

And Vader comes through. Han is freed, and the slaves are freed, and there’s rumors that Jabba’s corpse was fed to his own rancor.

Mara tells Luke what she did. At first he can’t believe it, he starts throwing around things like how could you’s, but in the end he listens. And he’s not sure what to do. He knows that Mara’s intentions were pure, but how can he hope to think the same of his—of Vader?

But also. Vader freed Han. And the slaves. And took out Jabba, one of Luke’s oldest and most cherished wishes.

After a long while of going back and forth with himself about it, Luke agrees to a meeting under truce, only as long as Vader will honor it.

The meeting does happen… and I have no idea what happens from there. Especially because… well, look, Anakin definitely had every right to be the one to kill Palpatine, and I don’t want to take that away from him. But also… I really want Mara to see Palpatine one last time. I want her to look her father in the eye and tell him every way he wronged her.

So I have no idea how this ends. I want it to be a happy ending, of course. Sad endings are for one-shots that you don’t have to commit to. But I have no idea, after several weeks of thinking about this, how this ends.

#Mara Jade #Luke Skywalker #Darth Vader #Palpatine #Star Wars #SW AU #Sky writes stuff #Luke/Mara #sorry guys that this ends so unsatisfactorily #I'm hoping that writing ABOUT it might help

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iphoenixrising · 6 years ago

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For 700 Followers!

Hi babe. Ah, you know, I think we could really work something out because if there’s anything I like, it’s Tim trying to have the I am an island attitude with clingy, needy Bat Alphas right on his tail ;) Tbh, I wrote this once and it got lost, so I cried, but I’m going to give it another shot!

Also, just saying but there was also a short thing done about *ahem* toys in this au, and you’ll probably find a similar theme X

There is nothing worse than water in your fucking boots.

Seriously.

His impromptu dip in the harbor was completely worth the pain in the ass because Two-Face is going to live to see another day, and he even acted less crazy than normal when he was handcuffed by GCPD, quiet while he was taken away in the back of a squad car.

The best part? The villain told him he was glad he hadn’t filled him full of holes after all. Red Robin is going to take that as a win.

And since his sleuthing is done for the night, he can go back to his Perch in Gotham City and get out of these wet clothes and put his damn boots by a heating vent to dry out a little.

He feels good enough about the night to order a pizza and do his notes while a slice is hanging out of his mouth when dry clothes are a thing.

He has a fan turning lazily, trying to keep himself cooled down because the Heat symptoms just started to manifest while he was riding back from the take-down (all that wind rushing by while he’s in a wet suit and still he’s starting to get hot? Seriously, body, stop making shit harder on him).

The pre-Heat could take up to three hours before the main event starts, and he at least wants to get the notes done and go blackout before it happens.

He’s got a bunch of Gatorade and power bars from two weeks ago when Jay and Dick pretty much showed up just in time for him to go full blown. Luckily, Dick had picked up more on the way to his Perch since the God-forsaken sixth sense had struck again. Somehow, maybe some Pack Alpha instinct, Dick had known he was going to need them, and true to form, the last Heat had been particularly vicious, his body in physical pain when he was empty.

(And no, he doesn’t need a reminder how nice Dick and Jay were about it when he was literally fucking crying. Geeze, things he doesn’t need people to see for 100 Alex.)

Which means he should have been good for a month and a half, but Leslie had warned him going this long on suppressants would have some effects on him biologically. She’d mentioned he could have two Heats back-to-back as a sign his body is starting to regulate like any normal Omega. So, really, this pain-in-the-ass is his own fault anyway.

Notes done, he logs out of BI’s mainframe and shoots the Titan’s a quick message, In Gotham. Perfectly safe. Going to sleep for 24-36 hours. Don’t freak out about the blackout mode, and shuts down his main system in preparation.

Barefoot, he pads around to shut off the lights and fans, grabs a Gatorade, starts pulling his nerd shirt off on the way to the bedroom. Security in lockdown and he’s starting to feel the burn just a little bit more.

Not long now. Damn, hopefully this will be fast and furious.

A locked box in the back of the closet is deposited by the bed, his thumb print accepted. He shifts through the unopened packages until he gets the red one and the blue one out, laying them on the bed to open before the round of fuck my contingencies ramps up.

(His face is hot, and not because of the pre-Heat. The two knotting dildos were purchased when he started thinking one night about what he was going to do when his body started regulating out, so Dick and Jay wouldn’t need to play Alphas to his Omega anymore. Ironically, the two toys reminded him of their knots anyway, and he’d been guilty as fuck buying them.)

He’s already started sweating lightly and jumps in the shower to wash off Gotham Harbor.

His phone goes off while he’s drying himself off, shifting his weight because his abdomen is already starting to get tight and uncomfortable in anticipation.

The message on his phone makes him groan/sigh because the Red Hood is wondering:

Jaybird: How was the swim?

There’s more laughing emojis than he realistically needs.

In just boxers, Tim plops down on his bed, taps his phone to decide whether or not to respond. Since they already knew he’d taken down Two-Face, he really doesn’t have options.

Me: nice this time of year. Btw, Harvey didn’t drown. That’s a win for the good guys.

Before he’s done, the ellipsis meaning someone is typing shows up, so he’s got himself in a world of trouble by answering. Natch.

(On the other hand, his Omega whispers, if you hadn’t messaged back, they might come looking for you. It preens at the thought of his Pack Alphas concerned for him, coming for him– Dammit. Not. The. Time.)

Jaybird: Oughta come 2 the Manor. Al made pizza. Can celebrate?

Well, shit.

Me: Thanks 4 the invite. Running time-sensitive diagnostic for the Titans and crashing. See you at the next VA meeting tho.

Okay. So, normal. Jay will understand the need for fighting crime.

Jaybird: No problem. We’ll bring you some.

Fuck. Fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck.

Me: Nah. Not tonight. Gonna set this up and crash. The alarm will wake me when the analysis is done. Enjoy the pizza!

Jaybird: If you’re sure?

Me: Positive. Sleep is calling. GN.

And turns off his phone with a sigh of unmitigated relief.

Crisis averted.

Right?

Forty-five minutes later, he’s idly eating popcorn and watching Infinity War when a wave of blistering heat washes over him, and the gentle reprieve is finally done.

His cock is hard and aching within a moment, his hands fisting in the blanket under him, hips jerking. The soft, subtle scent of slick tickles the edges of his senses, his ass starting to get moist under his boxers.

But Tim has old memories of doing this alone back when he was still in the tunic, and he forces himself to breath past the initial stages, fists his hands even tighter to keep from touching himself yet. He remembers how much better the orgasm was when he held off for as long as he could, remembers the time between waves lasted longer.

He bites down on his lower lip to keep in the noises (but really, what is the point?) and tries to just keep thinking.

He shoves the unopened boxes over and sprawls out on his back, trying not to let anything other than his boxers touch his aching erection. His thighs tighten, legs spreading automatically, feet bracing to work his hips a little.

It’s fine. You’ve done this before isn’t really that much of a consolation.

With the fire in his body starting to get more and please and Oh God, his mouth falls open to pant, toss his head back and forth with the arousal building, making his belly get tense.

An abrupt cramp knocks the wind out of him ending on a small, helpless noise that inadvertently escapes.

Rolling on his side, curling in on himself, Tim forces himself to just fucking breathe through it, it won’t last forever.

–when the comm on his desk blips, and the tinny voice is just loud enough to get his attention over things like terribly thought-out biology.

(Everything in you is screaming for an Alpha to help, touch, soothe. It’s not really your fault.)

“If you’re asleep, don’t get up. We’re just going to drop off pizza and we’ll be out of your Perch-”

Which is nothing short of fucking horrific.

“Almost goddit, Dickie,” is lost when another sharp cramp makes him huddle further into the pain rippling over his upper body while his brain screams to just fucking move.

The scent of slick gets stronger, clogging up the room, and the door isn’t even locked–

The next cramp makes his muscles flutter, but he can wobbly-leg it to the door and collapse in front of it.

(I was stabbed in the fucking spleen and still saved Pru. Without Ra’s, I would have been dead soon after, but if I can do that, I can get through this.)

He flips a small panel on the door frame and presses his thumb into it, forehead braced on the wall while he grits his teeth and gets a second or two of his muscles easing back.

Tim focuses on breathing, listening, and sure enough, there’s a timid knock a few minutes later. The door knob wiggles once softly, nearly inaudible voices mumble back and forth while he holds his breath.

He thinks he might be in the clear when it goes quiet again, thinking maybe they’d gone to dump the pizza in his fridge and be on their way out.

But a very clear, “do you smell what I smell?” is the proverbial nail in his coffin.

“Timmy? Are you…awake?”

“Please go away, I’m…I’m trying to sleep.” Tim tries again, more desperate now that hearing his Alphas’ voices is hitting all the deep places in him where the Omega hides.

“Don’t smell like it, Sweets. Think maybe ya mighta forgot ta mention something ta yer Alphas?”

(You aren’t mine. This is just about fucking Pack dynamics and bullshit biology. It’s fine, he gets it.)

“Hey,” and Dick’s voice is low and loud enough to be heard, and Tim slaps a hand over his mouth so he doesn’t whimper. “It’s okay. It’s us, Tim. We can make it better if you just open the door. You know we can, don’t you.”

It really isn’t a question, and Dick doesn’t pretend to make it one.

His abdomen spasms and he’s rolling his forehead against the wall in denial because fuck, haven’t they done enough? He’s not going to die, and, seriously, he’s a shitty Omega anyway.

“It’s not Heat Mania,” he tries to be reasonable, proud of himself when his voice only cracks once or twice, “I can get through it by myself this time. Y-You two just gave up five days a few weeks ago.”

The hand goes back over his mouth and his boxers are getting wet now, the way he’s curled in on himself probably not helping the situation.

Voices talking too low for him to make out again.

“Seriously, it’s fine. You guys got me out of danger. This? This is just business as usual. B is out of Gotham and you can’t be here for that long–”

“–B called in the Birds of Prey ta help out while he’s out wid’ the League,” Jay breaks through his ramblings. “We got Rob n’ BG. Cass is in fer a visit, and a trio of ass kickers. Ya ain’t gotta worry ‘bout Gotham, Timmers. Shit’s all kinds a handled.”

The door knob wiggles again, making him gasp because shit, if anyone could crack his fingerprint locks, it’s probably the Red Hood.

“So. That’s not an excuse to go through your Heat alone,” Dick cuts in, sounds more ragged and raw, the Pack Alpha coming out in him. “There’s honestly no reason for you to go through it by yourself at all because your Pack is supposed to take care of you. And we are here to do just that, Tim.”

And fuck he does (and doesn’t) want to.

(It really is going to hurt like a motherfucker when it’s all over with, isn’t it?)

And while Tim Drake could give them a hundred different excuses, could explain it away a hundred different ways

(“I don’t want my Omega to get used to having Alphas. That just makes my Heats more difficult. Please understand.”)

–he, Tim, not the Omega, really doesn’t want to.

(Oh yeah. He’s figuratively fucked. Literally fucked to possibly follow.)

He’s already reaching up to thumb at the panel again before he realizes what he’s doing and pauses, sighs at his own weakness.

And like they can feel him hesitate, the heavy musk finally gets to him from under the door. The combination of Dick and Jay and the Alpha instinct to soothe.

“Please, Timmy, Baby. Please let us in.” Dick says to the door, hands braced on the door frame outside, staring a hole right through the damn thing because he really wants to say is please let us love you.

Jay is nudged tightly against his back, peering over his shoulder with those precious few inches of extra height.

“S’all right, Timmers,” Jay’s deep voice rolls past his ear when his second leans over to talk closer, simultaneously sliding a hand over Dick’s hip, finger making soothing circles around the bone. “Ya know we love it when yer all pretty n’ pink fer us, yeah? Heat makin’ ya bite yer lip n’ flutter yer eyes when we get ta touch. N’ ya know how much we like it, don’t cha? Ya know it don’t matter how long it needs ta be, ‘er how much needin’ ya got saved up inside. Ya know the only thing what matters is how perfect ya are under our hands n’ mouth, yeah?”

Dick smirks at the tactic, turning just enough to get close to Jay’s face and shove their mouths together in a quick kiss.

His mate and second just grins right back, his down ‘n dirty one.

“Wadda ya say, Sweets? Gonna have mercy on these two ole’ Alphas? Let us be good, n’ take care a’ ya like we oughta?”

There’s a low noise, something muffled by the door, but Dick’s muscles tighten against the front of Jay’s body, putting the other Alpha right on point.

“Sounds like–” pain.

Jay just nods, staring intently at the door, fingers tapping over the hilt of this .45 like he’s thinking of taking the easy way inside. “Starting up awful fast, ain’t he, Alpha?”

“Leslie said something about double Heats while his body is getting back under control,” Dick reminds him absently. “I’m hoping this is the only one he’s experienced so far.”

Jay hums a little, “you n’ me both. Don’t like ‘im hittin’ two ina month. Too much strain.”

“Agreed, but we–” and Dick gets cut off by the sudden, powerful scent hitting them right in the instincts. The Alpha in them knows what a spike that sudden means.

Dick turns to make one last plea to the door, please, Baby, you don’t have to do this alone, before they would have to go. If Tim was that adamant, they wouldn’t hack the door to get to him, to force him to accept them during his Heat, but if he caught their scents, it could make the cycle more painful (“The inner Omega will pine for an Alpha. Scents will not help, but make the [sic] situation worse. An Alpha should vacate the premises if an Omega in Heat does not belong to him or her”). To keep it from being so much worse, they’d have no choice but the leave.

The possibility sticks in Dick’s throat, makes Jay rumble out a low whine.

But the telltale click resounds, kills the words in Dick’s mouth before they get out.

It’s a breath when he and Jay step over the threshold, kneel by the (their) pained Omega, warm hands and soothing touches, purring a low reverberation that makes Tim’s spine uncurl when Dick gathers him up and lifts. Jay is back with more Gatorade and power bars, throwing off his jacket and holsters while Dick kicks off his shoes and straddles Tim on the bed, leans closer to start kneading out the muscle spasms and nuzzling against Tim’s throat gently, soothingly.

“Ssshh, sshh, it okay Timmy. We’re here.” And Dick tilts his head just a little so his throat is visible and his scent gland right there if Tim wanted to give him and bury his face there.

(He totally does. Stupid fucking instincts.)

And Dick’s hands are warm, the pressure just enough to work out those muscles, to make the pain ease down. At one point, Tim had wrapped a hand around Dick’s forearm to have something grounding.

“You don’t have to do this,” is low and soft, “it isn’t going to be bad this time. Just a normal Heat. I can handle it. I have handled it.”

Jay takes a knee beside the bed, reaches over to direct Tim’s gaze with a forefinger under his chin. “Timmers,” is more stern than he’s used to hearing from the Red Hood, “like me n’ Dickie dunno how much ya can handle? Like we dunno how much ass ya can kick? C’mon, give us a little credit, yeah?”

Tim’s eyes get more dazed with all the stimulus hitting him right in the Omega instincts, blinking hazily at Jay kneeling there. “Seriously, I’m a shitty Omega, and neither of you need this. It’s bad enough you gave up a week already this month.”

“I told you,” Dick counters serenely, hands pausing, “that you are not a bad Omega. I would have thought during your last Heat you would have gotten that.”

They can both see Tim swallow, his eyes dart away, clearly disbelieving but not calling them on their bullshit.

Dick’s inner Alpha curls around his insides, wanting nothing more than to flop on the pretty Omega and pin him down until he cries uncle and finally believes in them, wants nothing more than to stick his nose in the sweet scent gland and never move, wants to hear Tim say it, just once–

“I’m yours, aren’t I Alpha?”

–but there’s no room for that yet. Not here, not now. Someday soon when Tim stopped giving into his instincts to hide and protect himself. Even if the Omega in him had accepted their Alphas, it still drew back, remembered the pain they both caused at one time or another.

And Dick understood. As Pack Alpha, he can scent more keenly, as a detective, he can put all the evidence together with the spikes of adrenaline, the quickening of a pulse, the flinch when certain things are brought up in casual conversation.

(Someday, he thinks fiercely, nuzzling into Tim’s jugular, while the knots under his hands ease down, you are going to forgive us, and everything is going to finally be okay.)

He huffs a little when Jay kneels by the bed, hands folded to rest his chin and watch. Timmy’s head flops over, the lines around his eyes still prominent with pain and the ingrained struggle not to just give in, and Jay trails his fingers lightly over the hand fisted in the sheets.

“Hey, hey. S’all right now, ain’t it, Baby?” He keeps it low and deep, lets it end on a nice purr. Inching the hand over, closer to his mouth, “an’ ta think, y’ weren’t gonna let me n’ Dickie here fer this? Tryin’ ta punish us, are ya?”

“Wh-What?! What are you even–”

Dick’s hand on his shoulder stops Baby Bird from sitting up, his cheeks gettin’ pink ‘cause he get all embarrassed ‘bout it.

(And fuck ain’t it cute.)

Big Wing smirks a little and leans up, gives Jay some room. He takes all he can, rising up on his knees, turning his jaw a little so his musk is stronger, getting fuller. He gets to wrap a palm around that wrist, pinning it lightly when he hovers over Tim’s wide eyes, makes him face this, face him, face them.

“Ya already know it, don’t cha, Timmy?” Low and growly against his mouth, flick of a tongue over his bottom lip, “how much ya make us want, yeah?”

And since Jason Todd is a man what knows how Tim reacts to being touched, how he gets so sweetly slick and ready, how needy and soft he can whine, knows that as much as Timmy says he don’t need this, need them, his body don’t agree with it.

It’s how he n’ Dickie can tell when Timmy is lyin’ ‘cause it’s the Omega what tells them the truth.

It’s why Jay can purr and nuzzle, can lean in and take his mouth like he owns it. When Tim makes a noise, arches his back, Jay knows Dick is mouthing at him, right below where his palms are rubbing, licking the line between boxers and skin.

Pullin’ back just makes Timmy chase his mouth, eyes half-mast and cheeks just the right shade of pink.

“See that, Sweetheart? How pretty y’ are? An’ ya weren’t gonna let us be here fer it? ‘M hurt over here.” And he purrs against the tendon in Tim’s neck, just the sharp edge of teeth teasing down to his collarbone.

“Th-that’s not–!”

“But it is, Timmy,” Dick fills in soothingly, mouthing at the waistband of his boxers. “You weren’t going to let us have this.”

“Dammit that isn’t–”

“Sshh,” and Jay presses a kiss back to his throat, right below the scent gland, “s’all right. We f’give ya, Sweets. ‘Cause we’re here now, and that’s what matters, you feel me?”

Tim finds it in him to brace a hand against Jay’s shoulder, pushing him back just enough to be able to think around the heat pooling in his stomach, lighting his body with need.

“It isn’t like that!” He tries, he really does, stares into those eyes with green flecks faded away. “It–this–it’s just!”

Dick finally seems to have enough, knee walking up so he and Jay could loom over the squirming Omega, both of them facing him down.

“At first, it was because of the Heat Mania, Timmy,” Dick’s voice is low and firm, “but it stopped being about that for me in the first five minutes.”

Jay purrs at him softly, “like I’d keep comin’ back ta ya if’n it was only ‘cause a’ biology, Timmers. Like you think I don’t see this fine as fuck ‘Mega right ‘chere needin’ an Alpha? Like I don’t want a piece a’ ya?”

That is...so not what he anticipated tonight once he’d given the Alphas an appropriate out. The admission makes his heart thump painfully in his chest, a jolt of fear slithering through his brain pan at all the implications of this–

–that would fully set in later on after his body stops trying to literally kill him with sex.

Because it’s enough of a push, this moment when scents are so fucking sincere and they’re looking at him with heat and affection, and he wants so desperately to believe. It’s enough to make the Omega in him rear up past his barriers and bullshit masks, for the whine, the call to his Pack, to his Alphas, to spill out of his mouth without holding back.

Fuck.

Because even though it’s a rough, soft sound, something he’d never been able to let himself do before now, not with all the secrets he’d had to keep, it makes some of the tightness in his chest ease down to finally be able to let it out, let his instincts take over.

In the form of a whine, a call to his Alphas. His Omega could finally stop mourning being left out of the Pack.

So he’s completely unprepared for Dick and Jay to react so distinctly to that noise, for them to bury their faces in his throat and lick along both sides until the kiss of teeth along his collar bone becomes a bloom of pain and sinks deep into his subconscious. It’s not (and he gasps in a hard breath just thinking about it, about either of them biting down on the back of his neck instead…) to mate him or make him submit, it’s just marks made to show ownership, to show Pack, and his eyes might get a little hot and full with it while the Omega in him rolls over to show its’ belly to the (his) Alphas.

And it’s something he’s been wanting for so long, the confirmation that he’s no longer the outcast, the Omega without a place. During the long road to come back to Gotham, back to the Bats, he hasn’t let himself sink into the depression that hit back when his tunic was yanked out from under him, leaving him hanging.

With the indents of teeth along his collarbone, with the distinct Alpha scent on his neck, the assurance he’s been claimed as their Pack Omega for anyone to see, is enough to make him close his eyes tight to keep from fucking crying. Instead, he distracts himself by lifting both arms around his Alphas to hold on while they lick across the indents of their teeth, soothing the sting.

He doesn’t let himself panic when they move on from marking him, when Jay is licking into his mouth and Dick’s hands are spreading his thigh, long-fingered hand cupping his straining erection.

He keens with it, back arching at the onslaught, his inner Omega sated with the marks on his body, languishing in the attention of his Alphas.

It’s so easy to fall under their spell, to put himself in their hands, and just give in. If they weren’t so damn careful and easy with him when he needs it that way, if they didn’t fuck him dirty and rough when it needed it that way instead, if they didn’t purr against his chest and lick at the marks, if they didn’t talk low against the back of his neck, if they didn’t hold the hell on when all he wanted to do is run.

Hands that know how to make him writhe, are busy smoothing up the sides of his thighs and over his abdomen, Jay and Dick trading places with his mouth. Thumbs make small circles on his nipples, makes them peak, makes the spark of pleasure shoot down his spine straight to his aching cock, while he keens in Dick's mouth.

“Uh-oh,” hazily gets through the heat pooling in his belly, in his blood, lighting his nerves on fire. “Looks like we have some competition, Jaybird.”

Fuck.

And Dick is leaning up on his knees, holding up the blue knotting dildo after he’d snatched it from the blankets, looking it over with a critically assessing expression–

Then those eyes slide over to the Omega spread out on the bed beneath them, the one smelling like a bakery, the one that needed him, needed them to take care of him.

“I told you, I can handle my Heats.” His face is going red and not because of the whole lot of naked happening beside the bed where Jay is stripping off the body suit.

“Mmhm,” and Dick widens his knees, spreading Baby Bird’s legs wider, puts the toy by his calf so he can be the one to use it on Timmy (and he is very interested on seeing how much of it his Omega can take before he’s screaming for the real deal).

The other Alpha’s eyes shoot to the subtly covered splash of red almost by the wall, and one brow quirks up as a side to the smirk on Jason Todd’s face.

“Dickie. Ya’ thinking what I’m thinking?”

“If it’s to fuck him with these things until he cries, then yes. I’m on board with that plan, Little Wing.”

“Good t’ see we’re on’a same page, you feel me here?”

The oldest vigilantes exchange a heated glance, the message clear from that look alone:

Time to teach Timmy a lesson and get to have him at the Same. Damn. Time.

Two Robins with one stone.

Jay is already crawling over Tim to lay on the other side while Dick moves fast, climbing off to shimmy out of his clothes until he’s in black briefs, coming right back to the perfect spot between the third Robin’s clenched thighs. He grins, already deciding on a plan, while Jay pins both wrists above their bird’s head, preparing him for the on-coming torture.

And when this cycle is done, when they’ve both had turns teasing him between waves with the toys he’d purchased, fucking him fast and rough or slow and soft until their knots throbbed to be buried in him, when they’ve made Tim give in to them, over and over, made him beg for their cocks, promised to always call next time no matter what. When he’s so overwork, overstimulated, a trembling, babbling, crying pile of please fuck me before I die.

When they make the lesson stick.

(“Never gonna need ‘em again. Ya gotch us, n’ ya better damn well call b’for ya use it again. Do you feel me, Baby?”

“These are last resort only, Tim. You only get to use these after you’ve called both of us and not because of a case or checking in on Gotham.”

He’d only been stupidly grateful all three of them could fit in his tub at the time, water lapping lazily around him, caught on Jay’s lap with his leg in Dick’s, hands on his ankle and calf under the water. He was dozing and utterly fucking destroyed, which is the only reason he agreed to it in the first place, dammit. They took advantage of fucking him completely out.

(Alphas. Of fucking course.)

But this time, after they’d been so fucking thorough in showing him where his place with them really is, Red Robin can’t help but wonder if it’s more than just a bunch of Alphas taking care of the Pack Omega. If all the sweet things Dick growls in his ear is more than just hormones and Pack Alpha lizard brain. He wonders if Jay’s dirty talk doesn’t stem from some messed up sense of guilt or responsibility from back when they were just, you know, trying to kill one another. Or, Jay was trying to kill him and Red was really just trying not to die.

He wonders if it isn’t just a matter time until his body regulates.

He wonders if they know what they’re doing to him when they act like he’s theirs.

He wonders how far they’re going to go.

(A part of him is terrified to find out.)

#700 followers #omega!tim #alpha!dick #alpha!jay #aob #tagged for anon #timjaydick #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #a bit of smut #with a twist of angst #my fic #my writing

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mactuna · 6 years ago

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↠ summary: jisol isn’t the only who got run over by the gossip train... and in the process, she learned a lot more than she was ever supposed to... (lmao this is such a trashy summary!!)

↠ idea: jungkook x oc!! bts mafia au!! kpop universe!!]

↠ part 1 [] part 2 [] part 3 [] part 4?

“I’ll bring you your stuff later, ok sis? Just please don’t trip on yourself if you see Han Jisung. Please.”

“For the last time! I DON’T LIKE HIM!”

“Sure sis… you definitely don’t have a sketchbook of drawings of him.”

“You can stop talking now!”

The two had arrived at Jeongmi’s new room, because college dorms were way too expensive. And lucky for her, there was a Min Jisol who was looking for a roommate.

“I’ll bring your stuff around later, ok?”

“Ok… bye!”

But in his defense, Jungkook believed he had the right to be worried about his little sister. Because he was pretty darn sure he knew exactly how her roommate was: the infamous Min Jisol of Daegu Town High School. She was the girl that everyone warned you about. It was obvious she smoked because she always coughed as if she had smoker’s lung and could literally collapse at any given moment. And Jesus Christ, she always smelled like goddamn alcohol! She always seemed as if she had tried to get the stank of alcohol off, but in the end she miserably failed and the smell basically radiated off of her. But of course, can’t forget that she was always late and skipping class. The problem? She never got in trouble for it. To top it all off, she graduated as valedictorian. Combined with her popularity amongst the boys for her looks, it was no surprise when the gossip train tooted about Jisol sleeping around with the administration to get straight A’s. Hence, she was basically the queen of the school in all aspects. Despite all the obvious warning signs, people loved her. Earning her the nickname, Harley Queen.

But Jungkook was barely any better and he knew it. His reputation wasn’t exactly spotless since he hit high school. Puberty had treated him very kindly, earning the attention from all the girls within the school district. Especially at sport competitions. And every so often, a girl would ask to speak to him somewhere quiet. Alone. Like a lost lamb, he would follow. He never did anything, didn’t even touch them, yet the gossip train tooted that Jungkook had a knack for quickies and breaking the girls’ hearts once he was done with them. Because of this one fact, Jungkook had begrudgingly agreed to let Jeongmi room with Jisol. Maybe she was just another victim of the gossip train, just like him. Or maybe it was just his grudge against her for… a number of reasons.

“Ok… bye Jungkook!”

“I’ll bring your stuff up in like, two hours ok?”

“Uh-huh. Goodbye!”

Obviously, Jeongmi was super embarrassed that her brother was basically dropping her off at her first apartment. And she didn’t want to make a bad first impression, so she did everything in her power to shoo him away. But as soon as the door opened, Jeongmi was shocked by the girl’s beauty in front of her. All of her doubts disappeared into thin air and she found herself bowing awkwardly.

“Hello, my name is Jeongmi. It’s really nice to meet you!”

But Jisol was already busting a lung with laughter.

“You are so cute!! But anyway, you don’t have to act so formal around me. We’re roommates now Jeongmi. As you probably know, my name’s Jisol and welcome to the apartment!”

Despite having only met once or twice, Jeongmi already felt the bond forming between them.

“Do you need any help bringing your stuff up or anything?”

“Actually, my brother is bringing up my stuff in a couple of hours.”

“Girl, that’s honestly sibling goals. My brother would tell me to suck it up and be independent like all the girls in the world preach about.”

But now, Jeongmi was confused as hell. How in the world did Jisol have such awful rumors circulating about her? She was honestly one of the sweetest, most wholesome Jeongmi had ever met. But for Jisol? She was just over the moon that there was someone who was willing to give her a clean slate and actually get to know her. Not try to kiss up to her just so she could be referred to one of the guys. The reason everyone thought she was a slut was that most of her friends were guys. Mostly because the other girls at school were entirely too judgemental. And super bitchy.

“Feel free to explore, Jeongmi. Lol, you don’t have to be so nervous. You kinda live her now?”

And Jeongmi was like, why the hell does it literally smell like freaking daisies? Smoker’s lung, my foot! There wasn’t even the slightest whiff of smoke or alcohol anywhere. That’s when the knock came faintly. Which Jeongmi barely heard.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook, Jeongmi’s older brother. I came to drop off her stuff?”

Already, Jungkook was gaining attention from the neighbors. Mostly because the apartment was a hot spot for college kids who couldn’t afford or didn’t want to live in a dorm.

“Unnie, do you mind if he comes inside? Because there are literally people crowding the hallway just to stare at him. And it’s kinda gross?”

“Yeah, of course! Come on in.”

See, Jeongmi was totally clueless to the history between Jungkook and Jisol. They had been rivals at everything, all the way up until high school. But that was a different story. Sighing, Jisol let him in, promising herself to be civil for Jeongmi’s sake, if not hers.

As for Jungkook, he was surprised to see the two three-star black belts hanging in the open closet and the sheer amount of beat-up medical textbooks on the kitchen table.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“Uh, no. I’m good actually. But thanks.”

And he was 100% surprised at how well Jisol was keeping her cool. Taking the heavy box from him, Jisol gave Jungkook a tight smile.

“I can help Jeongmi unpack if you have somewhere you need to be.”

But Jisol knew that look in his eyes all too well. There was no way this could be the apartment of the Harley Queen, right? There was no way that the Queen would actually be reading and studying to get good grades, right? She had to be hiding the booze somewhere, right? The drugs? The weed? The cigarette packs? And Jungkook understood the tone of dismissal in her voice all too well.

“Then I’ll be going then. Bye, Mi!”

But as Jungkook made his way down to his car, he couldn’t but think of the little collage of Jisol’s baby pictures on the wall. One of them was of the two of them holding hands as they crossed the street. Groaning out loud, Jungkook looked towards the sky.

“STOP BEING IN MY LIFE MIN JISOL!!!!!”

Why was his life so intertwined with Jisol’s?!! On top of already being entangled with every aspect of his life, why was she his ex-girlfriend from preschool too?!! He thought he’d erased his memory of her a long time ago!!

When Jungkook got back to the house, he wasn’t surprised to find Yoongi watching TV on the couch.

“So… how did it go?”

“I mean, Jeongmi seems to really like her, so I guess that’s all that matters.”

Shaking his head, Yoongi sat up straight.

“But I asked what your thoughts on Jisol are?”

“She’s… a lot different from what I expected.”

“How so?”

“She seems a lot more… put together than everyone takes her for. There’s not a single trace of cologne, smoke, drugs, or alcohol in there. I honestly have no idea how the hell these rumors formed about her. She seems really nice.”

“Well… she has changed a lot since high school ended. Plus, the rumors are mostly my fault. But I thought you were-”

“What are you talking about, hyung?”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Jungkook. However, this story isn’t entirely mine to tell, so it’d be a tad unfair if she weren’t here to explain the entirety of the situation.”

“But-”

“No.”

Grumbling, Jungkook made his way to the shower. He knew where he stood among the seven guys as the youngest: at the top. But when it came to Yoongi? That was all null and void.

“YAH JUNGKOOK-AH! JOONIE HAS A MISSION FOR YOU, JIMIN, AND TAE!!”

Jin yelled through the door, banging on it to disrupt the peace of the hot, running water.

“Ok hyung! I’ll be out soon! BUT YOU BREAK THAT DOOR I SWEAR-”

“BYE!”

But why was Tae coming on this mission? That almost never happened. He was the one who usually stayed back to work the comms and get all the inside info that was necessary to send to whoever was out in the field. But if he was coming, Joon-hyung’s mission for them had to be insanely top priority if Tae was coming out to play. 10 minutes later, the boys were seated on the floor in front of Joon.

“Does everyone here know Song Yuri?”

“Yeah. We’re all in the same biology class.”

“Well we just found out from our spy that Yuri is actually the heiress of the Ahn Empire in Daegu.”

“Wait… aren’t they the ones-”

“Who created a memory implanter and have passed down some secret through generations, using it?!!”

“Yes, that one. And if everyone else knows, then everyone is going to be gunning for her. She’s dating one of the NCT boys so we have to be careful. From what we know, she’s close with all of the NCT boys so we have to be careful. The reason I chose you three is because you have a subconscious memory of Yuri’s behavioral patterns So please bring her back alive. Got that?”

“Yes hyung.”

“Good. We’ve also got word that it’s one of the Dreamies’ birthdays today so they’ll be vulnerable. I will take the other hyungs to take them out, ok?”

“Ok hyung. See you later!”

________________________________________________________________

A/N: OKAY YAY PART 1 IS DONE OF THE BLOOD UNIVERSE SERIES!! lmao idek if i actually want to turn all the “books” of this series into the same universe but we’ll see:) btw i literally just fangirled so hard in the car when dream glow came on LOL!

↠ part 1 [] part 2 [] part 3 [] part 4?

#jungkook x oc #bts mafia au #jeon jungkook imagine #jungkook imagine #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #HOLY CRAP DREAM GLOW IS SO GOOD!!!#sope #namjin #bts #bts x army

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aegissi · 6 years ago

Text

my bts concert experience in bullet points

this is gonna be long!!!

namjoon looked so good. litcherally. i was ready to risk it all for him. seeing him on screen during the first song (it was dionysus) felt like getting hit by a train.

speaking of dionysus,,, everyone looked really hot so i was very flustered sgjfvdgb (especially namjoon. especially him.)

hobi was sooo cute during wings like he did a liddle flying move it was adorable

just dance was such a fun stage!!!! hobi is so charismatic and he sounded amazing too (he kinda sounded very nasal at the beginning but it stopped after a few moments) the part with the water cannons was awesome btw

jungkook was so smiley!!!!! he was adorable during euphoria and he looked so happy :((( not to mention that he also sounded so clear so stable and so good (and during the last chorus he was like “sing it!!!!” and when he got back on the stage he did a cute walk as if he was on a school trip ssgjfbhkdn)

taehyung had no business looking that good during best of me. thats all i can remember from this song.

jimin sounded kinda weird at the beginning of serendipity (my friend thought that there was something wrong with the mic) like his voice was way too high?? but it was fine for the rest of the song so idk that was random ghhdgfhdb the dancing was perfect btw he was both delicate and powerful (and during the whole concert he was the one i noticed the most bc he had sm energy and he executed every move flawlessly) the whole stage was so pretty with the bubbles and all

trivia love was so good!!!! namjoon is an amazing performer and i loved all the hearts they put on the screens too that was really cute (it was written “je t’aime paris” at the end of the song,, that was a nice little touch)

they looked like they had sm fun during boy with luv (and at the end jk changed his love sign to a finger heart but he couldnt find the right camera it was cute)

taehyung said some words in french (i could only hear fantastique bc of all the screaming) and then he asked how his french was (we all yelled that it was good ofc) and then i think that jin said “you’re killing it” but im not sure shvfjgbk jungkook started singing champs élysées and his pronunciation was pretty good imo

jungkook put the rose from boy with luv behind his ear :(((

the whole dope/fire/baepsae medley was so fun (and yeah hobi did the splits and hip thrusted in our faces,,,, namjoon too)

jimin sounded the best during idol imo (with jin ofc)

singularity was a whole religious experience. the audience audibly gasped when taehyung opened his eyes in that bed like. he was so sultry and it felt like i was being hypnotised. that performance was perfect on all levels (and i loved the effects they put on the screen where he was split in red and in blue) icb i had the honor of witnessing that,,, he looked so mesmerising on the screen im still not over this (in general he looked divine everytime he was on screen,,, the charisma,,,,, the presence,,,,,, the aura,,,,,,,,and he looked absolutely adorable when he smiled)

the fake love outfits. incredible. never been done before. extraordinary. fantastique, as taehyung would say

yoongi’s voice sounded higher than i thought it would during seesaw (during the whole concert actually sjfhbkgb even when he talked??) he looked very pretty but it was personally the solo stage i liked the least :// like he didn’t make any mistakes and he sounded good when he sang but it had less impact than the others to me???

EPIPHANY!!!!!! jin sounded perfect and he wore glasses and i almost died. epiphany is better live than on the album imo,,, i just wish armys would have stayed QUIET!!!!!! they almost sang the whole song like bitch i payed to listen to jin not u!!!!!!! anyway jin was so stable and the background made him look like an angel (which he is) and his last adlibs were *chef kiss*

vocal line was perfect during the truth untold but i wish armys would have just,,,shut up svdbjg like this is a ballad?? why r u yelling??? why r u singing over the professional singers??? i kinda wanted to actually hear jungkook sing the “but i still want u” part???? anyway jimin and jk were in full vocal kings mode at the end it was amazing i’ll never get sick of this song (and taehyung’s voice is a gift, truly,,, jin too ofc) also the outfits were so good pls give the styling team a raise they litcherally looked like princes

TEAR WAS SO FUCKING GOOD OMG SGHVJHBGKJBKDJ okay so first off the effects they put on the screen with the green things were so fucking cool and rap line themselvesb too!! namjoon was incredible but hoseok??? mistre jung????????? in that dior outfit?????????????? his stage presence is unmatched. to be more detailed, namjoon sounded better live and had sm energy and hobi too (his part at the end... i am deceased) but i kinda felt like yoongi was a bit off? he was good ofc but idk it seemed to me that he had less energy than the other two (he was probably just tired or sick idk this is not me saying that he sucks ofc)

i didn’t film anything for mic drop so i enjoyed it to the fullest hehe it was awesome (especially hobi’s part)

jin wore a cap during the encore. it was great.

anpanman was cute!!! i have to say that i was barely focusing on the song i was just looking at the bangtans playing around on those bouncy things and they looked really happy

my tits were almost out during so what bc i was jumping too much it’s definitely a song u have to see live

im pretty sure they made us do a wave twice so that jimin could count to three in french and that tae could say “magnifique” afterwards (the army bombs became a rainbow too it was beautiful)

it was difficult to hear them during the ments sometimes bc everybody was screaming :///

they kept saying that they would come next year

jk said “je n’oublierai jamais tous mes souvenirs avec vous” (i’ll never forget all my memories with u) it was very sweet and then he said smth with “pour toujours” (forever) at the end but i didnt catch the beginning of his sentence

jin, tae and yoongi imitated all the people who were trampling on the bleachers (those fans were so loud and did this shit at the randomest times....)

taehyung said his pronunciation wasn’t good but that he prepared a few sentences in french and then he said “paris si vous aimez pouvez vous nous dire (?) l’année dernière était comme (?) pouvez-vous nous (?) s’il vous plaît? j’aime vraiment paris. je n’oublierai pas (?)” (paris if you like can you say (?) last year was like (?) could you (?) please? I really love paris. I won’t forget (?)... and at the end i think he asked us if we would come next year but im not sure bc people were screaming at some points) and he ended by saying i love you in korean and he teared up :((( it was so sweet of him to prepare all of this!!!

jimin talked for a while (in korean instead of french bc he wanted us to feel his sincerity) abt how during this tour he realised that he was really happy being around his members, the staff and the fans and that he genuinely hoped that we were too and that happiness was right next to us (and that he hoped that bts was in that happiness too) and he also thanked us several times and said i love u,,, he’s a sweetheart :((

hobi said that he prepared stuff in french even tho he wasn’t confident and said “aujourd’hui c’est la meilleure nuit de notre tour (?) on a terminé notre tour sans accident et ça nous a permis de sentir à quel point vous nous aimez (?) vous êtes vraiment notre espoir, merci d’avoir passé un bon temps avec nous, je vous aime, merci beaucoup” (today is the last night of our tour (?) we finished our tour without any accident and it allowed us to feel how much u love us (?) u guys are really our hope, thank u for spending a good time with us, i love u, thank u sm) im sorry i missed some words bc i genuinely can’t understand what he said shgvdjf other than that his pronunciation was good and it’s so sweet that he prepared all that,,, he looked kinda nervous but he smiled a lot and i think he was actually reading from the prompter??

namjoon said “do u know why paris is always the last date? bc u guys are the damn best (개짱)” but the interpret omitted the damn sjfdghk he also said “on se revoit très bientôt i love u” (let’s see each other very soon) and “paris est la ville des lumières” (paris is the city of lights) after making us take out our phones with the flash lights and then it transitioned right to mikrokosmos,, that was litcherally poetic cinema

other random things i remember: taehyung was in a really good mood (everyone actually, they were playing around a lot), hobi’s smile is so sunshiney, they poured water on each other a lot during encore (i watched jin sneaking up behind namjoon and spraying him sgfvjd they also watered jimin), there were some points where the mic quality wasn’t that good? idk maybe i just imagined it, i absolutely love how they used the screens it really added to the concert’s visuals, jin did a flying kiss during the first ment, jungkook went to the audience at the end but i was focusing on jin so i only realised he did that when jin was like “jungkook-ah” sjvfhjdgbkj, they weren’t extremely synchonized when dancing but they have great energy so it still looked good and overall i really enjoyed myself (me n my friend were ready to fight that one girl who kept screeching stuff at jungkook at random times tho,,,, icb she yelled shit at him during the truth untold like have some respect???)

#this was so long svkjgl #thank u if u read this entirely #i wrote it while watching the vids me n my friend filmed #anyway i have no regrets buying those tickets #im glad this was my first concert ever #it was too short tho!!!!#and i wish they added spring day to the setlist #bts #youmi.txt

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thorne93 · 7 years ago

Text

No Matter What (Part 10)

Prompt: Imagine you’re an Avenger and you meet Bucky for the first time during Civil War

Word Count: 3359

Warning: Language, fighting, violence, angst

Notes: This will follow Cap America: Civil War…. I envisioned a younger reader who’s like 19-24 years old, btw. Not beta’d - all mistakes are mine

Forever Tags: @amarvelouswritings @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejulesworld @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @bubblyanarocks3 @thefridgeismybestie @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr @kaeling @ijustwanttobepartofyourworld

Sebastian Stan Tag: @nedthegay @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange @buenostardissherlock @lenawiinchester @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi @memory-of-a-goldfish @mellsstark

Bucky Barnes: @nedthegay @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange @ultrarebelheart @lenawiinchester @its-not-a-tulpa

No Matter What: @void-imaginations @devil-may-cry-11-blog @james-heaven-barnes @mrs-lancelot @gingergrad @eyelinernim @fairchild21 @its-not-a-tulpa @shifutheshihtzu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wake up,” Steve said to you two as he hovered over you. You woke up to find you Bucky's hand on your hip, making you feel things you probably shouldn’t. “Barton’s almost here. We have to move.” He glanced to Bucky’s hand briefly before turning to grab his boots.

“Alright,” you said with a groggy voice as you sat up, Bucky’s hand gliding off of you. The sensation of his touch leaving yours left you feeling somehow empty...

It felt like you slept five minutes.You were still exhausted.

You all jumped up, went downstairs, checked out of the hotel, and filed back into the car. Before you could even get settled, you were pulling into the airport parking garage, parking beside a van.

As soon as you all jumped out, Barton and Wanda were out of the van.

You ran to hug Clint, you hadn’t seen him in about ten months.

“It’s so good to see you!” you said in a hushed, excited whisper as he hugged you back.

“Hey, kid. Good to see you, too.” He let you go as you stood beside him.

“You know I wouldn't have called If I had any other choice,” Steve said.

“Hey man, you're doing me a favor. Besides, I owe a debt,” Clint reminded as they nodded to each other.

“Thanks for having my back,” Steve said to Wanda.

“It was time to get off my ass,” she noted with a tiny smirk. You grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

“How about our other recruit?” Steve asked as he gestured to the van. You had almost forgotten you were about to meet another friendly face.

“He's rarin' to go. Had to put a little coffee in him, but... he should be good,” Clint said as he slid open the door to behold a sleeping man. You stifled a giggle. He sat up and shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

“What time zone is this?” he asked.

“Come on, come on,” Clint urged and the man stepped out.

“Captain America,” he breathed in amazement as he went forward to shake Steve’s hand.

“Mr. Lang,” he greeted back.

“It's an honor. I'm shaking your hand too long. Wow! This is awesome! Captain America.” He let his hand drop as he turned to recognize Wanda and Steve introduced you to him. Greetings went around everyone as you seemed to gravitate back towards Bucky. He was standing by himself on the other side of the car, and you didn’t want him to be or feel alone. You walked over and held his metal hand for support and assurance.

“We should get moving,” he interjected, stopping the conversation that was flowing.

“We got a chopper lined up,” Clint informed.

An announcement came on and you heard your native tongue and recognized the greeting immediately.

“They’re evacuating the airport,” you and Bucky said in unison. He eyed you for a moment, probably wondering how you knew that.

“Stark,” Sam said with realization.

“Stark?” Scott questioned, frowning.

“Suit up,” Steve ordered.

You were able to find an access door that was unlocked that lead to an employee restroom that was unoccupied. Everyone had carried their gear to the bathroom and changed quickly. Afterwards, everyone met back in the hall.

“Okay, here’s the play,” Steve started, “Bucky and Sam are going to stay inside the airport. Try to get to the helicopter. If you can, get in it and go. If you can’t, find the quinjet. I’m going to try to talk to Tony, maybe he’ll listen--”

“And if he doesn’t?” you asked, fearing the answer you already knew in your gut.

“Then we go through him. He wants to bring us in, fine, but he can do it after we stop this guy and the winter soldiers,” Steve stated firmly. “Wanda, you stay back until we need you. Barton, I want you and Wanda together. You keep your eyes on me and stop Tony. Lang, I want you on my shield. Someone’s going to try and take it, probably, at some point. You need to be on it and be ready, can you do that?”

“Yes, sir,” he said confidently.

“Okay, good.”

“Steve?” His eyes flashed to yours with a question in them. “Me?” you asked.

“I want you with me. Hopefully, Tony will go easy if you’re out there. Maybe it’ll even make him stop to think.”

You nodded.

“Everyone good? Comms on?” Steve asked. Everyone checked their ear pieces. All was on and functioning. “Barton, you and Wanda set up over there,” Steve instructed, pointing to another parking garage. “Okay, everyone ready?”

------------------------

You and Steve walked out of the underpass to the parking garage. Your nerves were alive with fire. You didn’t want to face your friends. You didn’t want to hurt or fight any of them.

As soon as you made it to the private runway, the chopper just in sight, an electronic disabler was shot onto the chopper and you immediately stopped, tensing up, your heart racing in response.

Tony and Rhodes descended from the sky in front of you.

“Wow, it's so weird how you run into people at the airport. Don't you think that's weird?” Tony said as he turned to Rhodes.

“Definitely weird,” he said.

“Hear me out, Tony. That doctor, the psychiatrist, he's behind all of this,” Steve started.

T’Challa lept over a truck nearby and you got into a defensive stance. This king was in your book of bad people. He went after Bucky and Steve, that was something you wouldn’t tolerate.

“Captain,” he greeted.

“Your highness,” Steve said back.

T’Challa turned his head slightly to look at you but you glared at him.

Tony spoke up again. “Anyways. Ross gave me 36 hours to bring you in. That was 24 hours ago. Can you help a brother out?”

“Tony, listen,” you started, “you’re going after the wrong guy. Come with us, we’ll show you. Bucky didn’t do this.”

“What? Did he brainwash you too? I thought you were the smart one on Cap’s team, guess I was wrong.”

His words stung you worst than you thought they would. You choked back a few tears. Tony was never mean to you. Sure, he razzed you, teased you, and joked around with you, but he was never legitimately hateful or cruel. At least...he used to not be.

“As for you, Cap, your judgement is askew. Your old war buddy killed people yesterday,” Tony stated. For a brief moment, your stomach lurched. You didn’t know he had killed anyone. You thought the agents were simply knocked out...But that didn’t change anything. Bucky couldn’t help it. He didn’t have a choice…

“And there are five more super soldiers just like him. I can't let the doctor find them first, Tony. I can't,” Steve said with strong conviction.

Natasha was suddenly on the runway, speaking. “Steve... you know what's about to happen. Do you really wanna punch your way out of this one?”

“All right, I've run out of patience. Underoos!”

Out of nowhere, a guy in red and blue tights flipped over you two, stole Cap’s shield, bound both of your hands with some sort of webbing, then landed on a luggage truck.

“Nice job, kid,” Tony noted. A weird pang of jealousy rocketed through you as your eyes narrowed on the guy in tights.

“Thanks. Well, I could've stuck the landing a little better. It's just the new suit... Well, it's nothing, Mr. Stark. It's-It's perfect. Thank you,” the spider-kid said. Who the hell was this guy? You peered at him. He was young like you, clearly nervous, and enhanced. You should’ve liked him.

But he was on the wrong team.

“Yeah, we don't really need to start a conversation,” Tony said.

“Okay. Cap... Captain. Big fan, I'm Spider-Man,” he said with a salute. “Hi, Y/N. I’ve seen your work too. You’re a good fighter.”

“Thanks…?” you said as you perched an eyebrow up at the stranger, beyond confused why he insisted on having a conversation before a fight.

“Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Just…” Tony said, trying to calm the nervous kid.

“Hey, everyone,” he greeted with a small wave and you couldn’t help that your head tilted. You were nervous, anxious even, but his level of nervousness was beyond comprehension. Unless...he’d never been in a fight like this...That could be an advantage.

“Good job,” Tony commended.

Steve nodded his head. “You’ve been busy,” he noted.

“And you've been a complete idiot. Both of you. Dragging in Clint. 'Rescuing' Wanda from a place she doesn't even want to leave, a safe place,” Tony snapped.

“Hey!” you said angrily, Tony’s attention snapping to you. You were sick of his ego getting in the way of what the fuck was happening. “Clint’s a fucking adult, he could’ve said no,” you stated. “And why would anyone want to be chained to some place, Tony? How is keeping her locked up okay?”

“Because I'm trying to keep... I'm trying to keep you two from tearing the Avengers apart,” he responded, his voice breaking. You knew this had to be hard...but he wasn’t seeing the big picture.

“Us? You did that when you signed,” you said evenly, your eyes steeling on him.

“Alright, we're done,” Tony said angrily. “You're gonna turn Barnes over, you're gonna come with us. NOW! Because it's us! Or a squad of J-SOC guys... with no compunction about being impolite.”

“You think that makes it okay?” you asked. “Tony that makes it worse,” you informed, a hint of sorrow in your voice, it broke on the last word. “You chose to take the government’s side over us. Just knowing that you’re even willing to arrest us...makes it that much worse. You’re siding with the government instead of listening to us first.”

“Because there’s nothing to talk about, Y/N. Don’t you get that? I don’t know what Cap and Barnes twisted up in your mind, but you don’t have to do this. You can still be on the winning side,” he said.

“Right, because winning is what matters to you, not being on the right side. Just whoever comes out ahead, right?”

Sam informed all of you that he found the quinjet. Immediately, you both raised your hands and Clint’s trusty arrows didn’t miss their mark. They broke the webbing and you were free.

“Alright, Lang,” Steve commanded. At that, Scott enlarged from the size of an ant, to his normal size, kicking back Spider-Man and taking the shield.

“I believe this is yours, Captain America,” he stated like a good soldier as he handed the shield back. You leaned forward to glance at him and smile and he nodded to you.

Stark found Clint and Wanda and headed for them as Rhodes found Bucky and Sam inside the airport. Cap threw his shield to deter Rhodes but T’Challa headed straight for Bucky and Sam.

“Barnes is mine!” T’Challa growled as he took off.

“Think again, kitty cat,” you said under your breath as your sights set on him.

This time, you were ready. No anxiety. No nerves. No fear.

You ran after T’Challa, wrapped your arm around his waist from behind, and hurled him to the ground. He threw you off before he rolled to stand up.

“Move, Y/N. I won’t ask a second time,” he ordered, as if it was supposed to intimidate you.

You moved into a fighting position and curled your hand to entice him. “Bring it on, hello kitty,” you challenged.

He jumped into the air and kicked at your face but you dodged it. You formed a lasso, wrapped it around his ankle, and yanked, fucking up his aerial movement so that he slammed into the ground. When he landed, he swiped your leg out from under you but you landed on your hands and back flipped into a standing position.

“You’ve been training,” he noted in almost an impressed voice. “Last time we fought, you weren’t quite this agile.”

“I just needed a reminder of what I was fighting for,” you said as you kicked up at him but he dodged it before punching at you. You formed a baton and began to smack at him, getting in a hit here or there before grabbed it and yanked, making the object disappear.

He continued to swipe, claw, and bat at you, but you dodged him. You wanted to look inside the airport to check on Bucky and Sam, to chance a look, but you knew doing so would give T’Challa an advantage and you couldn’t afford that right now. Finally, you got more of an upper hand as you flipped midair to kick T’Challa, knocking him back a few feet. It felt good to finally seem like an asset to the team.

At that opening, you ran away from him and out onto the runway, meeting back up with your team, breathing a sigh of utter relief when you saw Bucky wasn’t hurt in any way. Your legs were carrying you all rather quickly, until a beam of energy shot at the pavement in front of you, stopping your team from going forward.

“Captain Rogers,” Vision called out as he hovered in the air. “I know you believe what you’re doing is right, but for the collective good, you must surrender now.”

The rest of Tony’s team formed up underneath Vision.

“What do we do, Steve?” you asked, peering ahead at your friends...your family. You didn’t want to fight them. The people you lived with, trained with, fought with, laid your life on the line for. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. You fight together, to keep the bad guys out of power...You don’t fight each other to keep each other out of the way…

You didn’t want to see anyone hurt anyone. Not just you, but Clint and Nat, Vision and Wanda. Sam and Rhodes. Steve and Tony. These were bridges of friendships that were about to be obliterated.

Before you, stood all of your loved ones. Literally all of them. there was no one else in the world you cared for like the Avengers. You never had a real home, real family, real friends, until them...And now you were going to get into a bloody, knock out, drag out, fight….because they’re egos mattered more than your friendship. Because being on the winning team mattered more than doing the right thing.

Steve started the march and you all followed suit. Soon, it turned into a jog, and then, those that could fly on each team, took off. You formed a glider and glided forward, ducking as T’Challa swiped his entire arm at you. You bent backwards as if you were doing limbo, and his hit landed on Bucky.

Enraged you turned around, and formed a baton and tried your damnedest to hit him off of Bucky but your impacts weren’t affecting him.

Vibranium suit….vibranium suit...it’s impenetrable but, it’s not immovable…

You formed a cord, jumped up on T’Challa’s back, wrapped the cord around his neck, and yanked. Finally, he responded. His body toppled backwards as Bucky stood up and got better footing and leverage. You ducked as Bucky went to land a punch square to T’Challa’s jaw knocking him onto his back but he flipped up and was upright again. They both started to hit and dodge until they got each other in choke locks.

“I didn’t kill your father,” Bucky informed as he stared at him.

“Then why did you run?” he accused. Bucky pulled his arm back and they started to fight again until you formed a long baton and knocked T’Challa’s legs out from under him.

“Are you serious right now?” you asked as you fought him. “Because you fucking landed on him on a rooftop and proceeded to attack him with razor claws. Who wouldn’t run from that?”

He moved around you and got you in a headlock. Now fear was setting in. Your panicked eyes flashed to Bucky’s, his face and eyes mirrored yours.

“Let her go,” Bucky commanded.

“Or you will do what?” T’Challa questioned.

You took the moment of distraction and flipped T’Challa over your shoulder and onto his back.

“She’ll do that,” Bucky said as he stood over T’Challa. But he hopped up, spun and kicked you hard into a packing crate. A sharp pain lashed across your spine. Along side you flew Bucky, landing roughly on his front side. T’Challa was there in an instant, his hand and claws near Bucky’s throat, but Wanda managed to manifest her magic and throw him far away from you two.

“Buck!” you said in a wheeze, still recovering from the impact. “Are you okay?” you asked as you crawled over to him and put your hands on his face.

“I’m fine. You worry too much about a guy who’s practically invincible,” he said with a smirk.

“And you worry to little about yourself who’s still mortal,” you reminded. You and Bucky got up and ran to take cover against some luggage handling vehicle as Steve stood next to a case of stairs.

“We’ve got to go. That guy's probably in Siberia by now,” Bucky stated.

“We gotta take out the flyers,” Steve stated.

“No, you get to the jet. The three of you. The rest of us aren’t getting out of here,” Sam responded back.

“As much as I hate to admit it, to win this one, some of us might have to lose it,” Clint said and you felt your heart ache at his words. The idea of any of them getting hurt was physically torturous to you.

“This isn’t the real fight, Steve,” Sam reminded.

“Alright, Sam, what’s the play?” Steve asked as you and Bucky stared at your friend.

“We need a diversion,” he said. “Something big.”

Just as you were about to offer to be one, even though it would kill you to be away from STeve and Bucky, Scott stated he had something big he could try. He said to run on his signal and to not worry if he tore himself in half.

“What? In half?” you said curiously.

“He’s gonna tear himself in half?” Bucky asked, looking at you two.

“You sure about this, Scott?”

“I do it all the time. Well once… in a lab...and I passed out.”

You heard something strange, like rumbling or a thud, and felt the ground shake so you turned around to see a giant Scott towering over everyone.

“I guess that’s the signal,” Steve said, amazed and surprised.

“Ya think?” you asked as you all started to run like bats out of hell. You formed your glider for better speed, knowing you couldn’t trip if you were hovering. You were almost to the quinjet, it was in sight, it was so close. You just had to get there and take off...It would be just a matter of moments before...Vision fucked it all up.

Just as you were almost there, he cut the tower next to the hanger and it began falling but Wanda caught it and was doing her best to keep it afloat. You manifested a giant shield that went out like a wide umbrella over you, Steve, and Bucky, in case she couldn’t hold it. Something must’ve stopped her, because the tower came crashing down right on top of all of you, but your speed and shield helped pull you through the debris and falling rubble.

Only to find that Natasha was standing there, guarding the jet.

“You’re not gonna stop,” she stated as if she already knew the answer.

“You know I can’t,” Steve remarked.

“I’m gonna regret this,” she said as she moved her arm to point slightly beside Steve. You thought she was going to hit Bucky, but when her taser sticky grenade landed on T’Challa, your surprised face spun back to her. “Go,” she commanded softly. You three ran to the jet as fast as you could.

All of you hurled yourself inside as you buckled in and Steve took off into the air. He pushed the jet as far as it would go to get away from Tony and Rhodes.

#no matter what #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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jamest-kirk · 8 years ago

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Okay (btw i love that mcspirk one) but maybe with idk, space sirens? Like they attack the ship and as siren they should have to pull them out in space and let them die (and they eat them too i guess) but jim/bones siren can't because the other is very attractive so they sort of save the other's life (maybe through a kiss bc those who are kissed by sirens can breathe in space?) And optionally some other sirens maybe try to eat/kill them anyways but the other fights them off and all?

Sirens don’t work like most predatory creatures roaming space. They don’t attack humans or other aliens outright, instead they’re much more like vultures. Waiting for others to attack, and then picking off the scraps. Luring doesn’t work so well when nobody hears you through the thick walls of space ships. With humans in Klingon territory, that’s usually very easy dinner. Humans in their own, not so much. And sometimes, when hunger strikes enough, sirens will attack those smaller supply shuttles.

Jim is part of the group that attacks two small shuttles on their way to bigger ships, like the Enterprise. Jim’s seen it pass multiple times. The lights, the speed, the pure size of it magnificent. But these vessels won’t ever make it there, because his family is breaking the shuttles apart and dragging victims outside.

He doesn’t usually think twice about it, until now. His eyes find Leonard immediately, when the hole in the shuttle drags his body outside and tumbling into outer space. Jim is quick to get to him, but something stops him from his usual habit. Leonard looks at him, eyes dark and angry - not even necessarily terrified. Just intimidatingly mad, and somehow, Jim feels like he needs to keep this man alive. He doesn’t know why yet, but it’s a gut feeling. And so he reaches out, cupping Leonard’s cheeks, and he leans in to kiss him.

“What. The fuck?!” Is the first thing Leonard shouts at him, and Jim smiles fondly at him. “I saved your life,” he says. “Like hell you did,” Leonard says, and Jim tries to stifle a laugh at how helplessly the other floats without Jim holding on to him. Humans are weird that way. “Why can I breathe here?” “The same way fish breathe in water,” Jim explains. “… No,” Leonard replies. “Yes,” Jim says. “I’m going to die here,” Leonard mutters to himself. Around them, nothing but some debris from the shuttle, and otherwise a whole lot of nothing. “You’re not going to die here,” Jim promises. “And if I die,” Leonard continues, blatantly ignoring Jim, “so will hundreds of others. I can’t believe this. Fucking space.” “Wait, what are you talking about?” Jim asks. “I’m a doctor, damn it, I was traveling to a ship that would take me to a planet suffering a bad epidemic.” “Well,” Jim says slowly, “shit.”

Leonard’s arms are strong around Jim’s shoulders as Jim swims - or flies, however you’d call it - through space. It’s not unpleasant, but the odd feeling in Jim’s stomach is guilt, and maybe the excitement of having something to do other than simply surviving. If he can get Leonard to that nearby ship, then maybe he could still save all those people. And if that meant never seeing this man again, not having him as his own, then so be it.

They do get Leonard back on a ship, but not the way Jim had intended. Leonard uses his comms to signal the ship, and to beam just himself aboard. But when he mentions Jim’s a siren, Jim gets beamed on board, too. The sudden surge of oxygen around them makes him gasp for air, though his body is quick to adapt to it. What he’s not adapting to, though, is the force pushing him down to the ground, arms quickly tied behind his back. “Wait,” he hears Leonard call out, “Jim’s not harmful. Let him go.” But they don’t, and Jim’s knocked unconscious.

He wakes up in a small room with zero gravity and little oxygen, more accomodating than the ship itself, but it’s still a prison. Theres even a guard in front of the glass window, doing his best to ignore Jim when the other knocks on the glass. “Please,” Jim says, “I just wanted to help. Let me go.” “I cannae,” the guard says, a weird accent Jim can barely understand, “we have our orders.” “I will die in here,” Jim says. “No you won’t, the captain’s delivering you to the collector.” “The what?” “It’s like a zoo,” the guard explains, though that doesn’t really explain anything to Jim at all.

“Leonard,” Jim says when the doctor comes to see him. “Are you okay?” Leonard asks, but Jim shakes his head. “No, Leonard, I don’t want to be here.” “I know,” Leonard says, “I’m sorry. I’ll see what I can do for you.”

Jim doesn’t know how long he’s been there. Must be a while, because every time Leonard visits him he’s wearing a different outfit. He does his best to try and persuade the captain of the scavenger ship to let Jim go, but apparently Jim is worth some good money. At least the guard, Scotty, is nice. Gives him most of the meat on his plate and chats to him about building things. More ships, and stuff like that. Jim is still miserable, but in the presence of these two men, a little less so.

“How are you doing?” Leonard asks, “are you holding up alright?” “No,” Jim says, “Scotty explained to me what a zoo is. I don’t want to be put on display, Leonard. I don’t… This is what I get from saving your ass. I should’ve just eaten you.” “Why didn’t you?” Leonard asks, and Jim shrugs. Hesitates, before he answers. “You were beautiful.” Leonard looks at him blankly for a few seconds, then; “What?”. “I thought you were beautiful,” Jim says, “eating you would’ve been a waste.” Leonard sighs, quiet for the longest time, and then he bangs his fist against the glass dividing them, hard enough to make Jim jump. “Damn it,” Leonard curses, “fine. Ima smuggle you out of here.”

The roles are reversed, now. Jim’s arms are tightly around Leonard’s shoulders as the other carries him through narrow corridors. Scotty helps them, for no reason other than the goodness of his heart. Also partially because their plan is to escape in a small cargo ship, and Scotty wants to fly it. Doesn’t really like his job here, anyway, he says. And thankfully, Scotty knows just which corridors to take, who to avoid, and how to get to the docking station relatively unseen.

By the time they fly out, they’ve shot a few people, but no one rang that alarm. Not yet, but Scotty suspects they will, soon, and he sets course to hide the ship amidst a meteor shower. “Are you nuts?” Jim overhears Leonard yell at Scotty. “They won’t look for us here,” Scotty says. “Because we’ll fucking die,” Leonard counters. “I know how to fly a shuttle, doctor! We won’t crash.” Though he’s barely finished his sentence when they do hit a rock nearby. “Starting now,” Scotty finishes his sentence.

The scavenger ship passes the meteor shower without looking at them, and Leonard lets out a relieved sigh. “I think we’re in the clear,” he says, sitting down next to Jim, and he gently squeezes his arm. “Where do you want us to drop you off?” “Well, where are you going?” Jim asks. “That planet I mentioned before, they still need help. After that, back into space, probably.” “Can I come with, when you go?” “I mean, if you want to,” Leonard says. “Then yes, I’d like that,” Jim says. Leonard helps him up towards the exit of the shuttle, but he makes sure he’s secured tightly himself before considering opening that door. “Thank you,” Jim repeats, and he leans in to kiss him. “What was that for?” Leonard asks. “Just making sure you can breathe in space, when that door opens,” Jim says, throwing him a small smile. “You already did that.” “Hmm,” Jim agrees, hands on Leonard’s cheeks and he shamelessly repeats his actions. “Again?” Leonard asks, though Jim smiles when he feels the other’s arms around him. “Maybe one more time,” Jim says, “just to be sure.”

#anonymous #mckirk #otp: damn it jim #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #bones #headcanons #mckirkfantasy #fantasy au #mckirkfuture #future au #mckirk-other #other au

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beautifulhaus · 8 years ago

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Journal - 2017/06

I made a journal post with drawings and thoughts that happened last week.

Check it out if you want :)

I was staying up late and the sun started to come up...ha but it was so beautiful so I tried to capture it. This drawing happened and I thought this could be a cool layout for a short film. No plans to make it but maybe I will take it out again one day.

Ideas and Ego

I started to watch a lot of interviews of all different kinds of artists and I found there is an interesting pattern when great artists talk about their ideas.

'It's like this spooky universe picks the day and gives it to me.'

'My ideas are beyond me, they are not for or from me'

'Just sit down and either something great happens or not'

'We reinvented the wheel by accident'

Ideas as relevant universal gifts that have nothing to do with you as a ego but are just using your body as a door to the world. Have faith in some kid knocking on that door and be kind and not judgmental to that kid. You should listen carefully what she has to say and maybe you might even want to help her with her concern. But also note that you might not get visited for a long time. You might want to put out a nice new welcome matte tho or decorate a little ha.

I like that thought because it takes away the judgment you put over yourself. There are no bad no good ideas, they just are and it's your job to help them come to live and that is it. Help them as best as you can and once you did that, don't judge them. Let them be and wait for the next kid. And if that idea is to write a song about cheeseburgers even though you have never written a song and have no clue about it at all, do it because it is not about you, it is about that song trying to make it .

haha dang so dramatic

Louise Wilson

I discovered her through a Kanye Interview and just want to collect some things I kept from her. She was probably the most influential fashion professor of our decade – unfortunately passed away in 2014

She said something like 'Sometimes when I talk about the work of my students I would ask them 'Would you show that to Tom Ford?' and they would say 'Oh no, I would have to do that and that better'...

Well then why don't you do it?? 'BE YOUR OWN TOM FORD'

I love that mindset so much and I tried it. I watched some Disney making of videos and then pretended I would work for them and did some sketches...haha. That really opened my eyes on becoming better at something. It is not about the craft itself. It is not about practicing for 231786 years in the sense of exhausting hard work. It is all about you mindset. It is about how you prepare mentally before you put that pencil down and what you allow your body to perform! If you do that you also get a feeling of ultimate self confidence because you get into a state where it's not even questioned that you couldn't do something. And if something does not come out the way you wanted you just do it again.

And again. Again.

'Our students would go to Paris Fashion Week and see how many shows they could get into. They pretended to be the make-up artist. That was actually a class project!'

Just wow I have nothing to say to that. I start tearing up reading this what is wrong with me haha

About students starting her course

'And if Professor Wilson sees herself fighting a crusade, it's not against what students don't know, but what they do. "Their previous education has rendered them incapable. When they come here, it's like rehabilitating them. Because they've been in education since they were five. That's longer than if you'd been in prison for murder. And when you left prison, you'd been given a social worker to rehabilitate you.'

I feel like that is what is happening with me now. The school system is so so so deep embedded in me because I was all about doing great and reaching expectations. I got out when I was 18 and it took me 5 years to just get an idea of how I have to set my mind in order to survive in the ways my mind and body is supposed to perform.

Great Lady, just by reading and watching her interviews I felt really connected and got a good idea of her approach on life.

Sources

Kanye Interview https://youtu.be/4Rn0hDB6Z8k?t=25m24s

Louise Wilson https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/07/central-saint-martins-louise-wilson https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2014/may/19/louise-wilson-seven-insightful-fashion-quotes#img-1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li1ty85B_vs

I noticed I keep telling myself the same things haha

People always talk about their passion and how it makes them do amazing things but what is that? Tell me about it because I dont knooow haha.

I do know that feeling of really wanting to do something and getting all these ideas for it but it would never stay for a long time and most importantly on the same thing to do... ha

Is it something we have to look for? Is it something that comes in the act of doing something? Is it something we choose? Is passion a choice? Idk I have always been all over the place with the things I enjoy and have an initial love for but it would eventually dim down and come back and down. Haven't I found the right thing yet or do I have to choose a path and commit to it even in times I don't have any love for it anymore? (Usually the next day ha) Here is something that comforts me in that regard tho.

To have faith in the unexpectedness of life.

We can predict, plan, prepare as much as we want but what is clear is that we don't have a clue of what's going to happen next and using that as a tangible fact that we can rely on brings me back to the present and to what can or has to be done now. So I end up not overthinking and just make random stuff. Like this post :>

I also had to think about my dad who used to spend the whole day in front of his monitor doing paintings in paint... Haha That's all he would do and eventually he printed the ones he liked the most and hang them in the house. What's that feeling? He enjoyed looking at images so he tried all day to make the ones that strike him the most by himself? He did what he wanted to see just for the enjoyment of looking at them? Because he didn't show his work, never talked about it. He just made them.

Fashion has always been something that I found interesting and having my own collection is a Kid that has been sitting in my brain for the longest time. While I thought about some concepts I found out about this fashion brand Comme de garcon and I felt connected to their vision in a weird way. I then got the idea to make concepts for them and send it to them. ‘Here take that and now hire me’ kinda like that haha

I feel very weird about showing it all so maybe I will after after they have ignored it for a few weeks. (Also in case I ever finish it)

Everyone can do something great, everyone has a gift. It's about finding the right mindset, the right vibe that let's your body flow and make all the amazing things it is able to make. What will keep you away from that state are 'wrong intentions'. Doing it for the money, doing it for the fame won't be a healthy engine for the long run.

Is that true tho?

Btw this is the way I tell myself things so even though it might be total bullshit, I just pretend it's true (for now).

Have faith in the unexpected. Have faith in something amazing happening at any given moment.

(All these ideas and thoughts are not my work, I kinda feel this 'body as a vessel' thing. All I am doing is pretty much watching and experiencing on what journey it is on.) I never did anything for my thoughts to come out, they just do. What that mindset leaves you with is a ultimate sense of validity in your existence and everything that is connected to it. (sadness, laughter, embarrassment, uninspiredness, excitement, 'failures' or things that just didn't go as expected/hoped.

Have faith in the unexpected. Don't force it, don't stress it.

I am feeling a very strange feeling of peace right now and I am absolutely cracking myself up inside because all I can think of now is this video where Beyonce is in awe because of everything but I totally feel it too right now aaahaha. Also why am I sounding all spiritual now what is happening?? wth. And do I think I am Beyonce or what? Am I just high on coffee or something???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O63dea1U33g

Rereading this is the funniest thing, what was going on haha. (random older stuff)

Don't feel whatever was happening yesterday anymore ahaha but what's new.

Life is so extremely short. Everything that seems like the most important and eternal thing is only a blink of an eye, really. Soon we and everything that is our world won't mean anything anymore. There is no excuse to 'waste' time on things that don't feel important to you. Do the things you want gurrrlll

You already can do anything you want. You just have to have faith in your abilities and get rid of this sense of bad and good. Whatever you do just is, and that's it and that's good. (in the sense that good is all there is) The only thing that stands between 'everything I can do' and 'me at this given point of time' is me doing it.

So have that same sense of 'I can do everything' in all aspects of life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0

It's not about you, it's about the art getting it's chance to exist so get over yourself and let all the babies out. And you don't judge your children, you just let them be, maybe guide them.

(Rereading this makes me cringe hard ahahahaah I still mean it but at the same time I am thinking like 'Who are you and why does everything sound so spiritual motivated and dramatic ahaha. I wrote that stuff just days ago but it feels like I found an old journal of me as a kind trying to figure things out hahaha oh man anyway...)

I looked at what I wrote and I basically repeat myself again so nevermind haha.

But today I found out about Rupaul and how amazing he is so I watched a lot of interviews again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSchZdbdWYU

‘ We are an extension of the power that created the entire universe ‘

Again this sounds very spiritual which I am kinda uncomfortable with but it is so true at the same time. I don’t believe in free will. We can not want what we want. We just want things and we just think certain things and get certain ideas and these things are a result or part of the chainreaction of happenings after the bigbang if you will or the creation of the universe. So we are an extension of the power that created the universe. Maybe all this spiritual talk of this week really is just standing really really high on solid facts.

“In fact it was good for me to go back home because I got to recharge my battery and understand what it is I wanted to do in the first place”

Totally what happened to me in the last two weeks??? I was sick and got the chance to just recover and think which braught me to this crazy long post.

Also found out he has a podcast with over 100 Episodes so I know what I can listen to when I draw around now.

http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/rupaul-whats-the-tee-with-michelle-visage

So weird... I came across this songwriter called James Fauntleroy and he talks about how he wanted to become a comicbook artist, then he got sick which braught him to songwriting and now he is into animation.... That is literally me because I have been recording so many song sketches the past few days and really found a love for it and the drawing thing is given. I used to write songs and always wanted to make music but back then my mindset was all in this ‘this is bad, I am such a beginner, I dont know anything about this’ - mode which I am kinda over with now (not totally but we will get there) and now it’s just fun doing it.

https://youtu.be/EGY0rROcvRQ?t=11m5s

Ok so I was Beyonce, Rupaul and now this guy haha. I don’t know... so weird I really got a sense of ‘a bigger power’ this week though, which I have always heard people talk about but I never really understood or felt it the way I did this week.

Sunday is almost over now and I am thinking about this journal thing. I don’t like that it is packed with so much text, I am also not sure if it’s a good thing that I spend so much time into going back and recalling each day. Even though these texts are only days old it feels like they were written from this super old version of myself because I wrote them in a state of mind which was very specific to that moment I wrote them in. You know when you get sentimental and have all these thoughts you normally don’t have but the next day you wake up and feel totally different and just forget about it. Now I have that stuff written down and reading it 2 or 3 days later is like....This guy needs to chill. Also having to actually lock the things down that go through my mind like I am doing right now is weird because some things just don’t really matter like this stuff right here but since I am writing them down I have pay extra attention to what is going on in my brain haha maybe I should just cut in down extremely for the next time? Maybe only drawings? I don’t know, let’s see if I make another one next Sunday.

Have a good one :)))

#journal #Illustration #animation #june

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