#i will post that animation whenever i get the chance its peak

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

Machine, this florp is a dubious little creature.

Up to no good.

The beast is demonic in nature.

Very icky.

Audio source

Animation with a similar clip

Vid being referenced

[write-ur-wrongs]

The Death of Me

Pairing: Geralt x reader

Word count: almost 4K - big whoops!

A/N: This was totally meant to be a drabble / blurb, but the story got away from me! A huge thanks to the sweet anon who submitted this prompt - I was beyond inspired and chuckled warmly throughout the entire writing process. This baby isn’t proofread so thread lightly!! I sincerely hope y’all enjoy this one :’) 

Prompt:  Heya! I saw your post about wanting to practice writing short stories so I have a small prompt for Geralt! What about: the reader and Geralt have always had a difficult relationship, always running into each other at the most inconvenient moments and hence disliking each other. However, while Geralt is passing through a village the reader comes barging into his room bloody and near death, only getting a chance to say “I didn’t know where else to go” before collapsing. I would be honoured if the idea inspired you :3

____________________________________________________

You’d never considered yourself unlucky but lately life had a funny way of throwing you for a loop, or rather, throwing you to the wolves. One wolf, actually. A damn, irritating, and arrogant white wolf.

At first, it was all business. You’d arrive in a village itching for a contract, only to find that a “legendary witcher” had already come through and taken care of every monster within a two-days ride. Furious, hungry, and broke, you set out determined to get as far as you could and as quickly as possible. Your determination got you far enough that you’d managed a full three months of contract work, but not far enough it seemed.

You’d been on your way to collect payment from your latest contractor when you’d heard the buzz on the street; a witcher had come through asking about work, and had been told to wait and see as someone else (a woman! A human woman!) had already committed to the case. Apparently, he was either incensed or bemused at the idea – the brute was very hard to read, so say the town gossips – but it didn’t matter to you. You beat him to it and now you get to eat. When you finally met with the contractor to collect your coin, you couldn’t help but swell with pride as they thanked you, eyes wide, for taking care of a monster no human ought to be able to handle. You could have sworn your pride had given you wings as you floated out of the inn.

That is, until you heard them mumble under their breath, “Thank Gods that lass was able to handle it! Had it been the witcher, I would have had to pay triple!”

“Thank heavens for cheap labour!” whispered their partner, raising their glass to cheers their big victory.

Suddenly whatever weightlessness you felt transferred onto your coin purse. Biting hard on your cheek you pushed up your chin, determined to remain dignified. But then you saw him.

Impossibly broad chested, rippling muscles evident beneath his leather armour, with golden eyes that reflected back to you with a cruel playful nature that made bile rise in the back of your throat. He held your gaze and raised his own tankard to you as you walked past him. His deep voice rumbled through you as you pushed the door open.

“Cheers to cheap labour,” you heard him say, and swore you could hear the smirk on his full lips.

Groaning furiously, you pushed the door so hard it swung back and slammed shut behind you with such force a flock of birds took off somewhere in town. Undeterred, you stomped off towards your horse and set off at a gallop.

I’m going to make sure I never cross his fucking path ever again, you thought searingly.

You were wrong it turned out, but how were you supposed to know that?

You’d gone years without actually seeing him again, but that didn’t mean you were free of him. You’d alternated winning and losing contracts to each other, and the pressure of beating him to the next one stressed you so fiercely you developed ulcers. That alone would have been enough to push you to murder had you not heard from another witcher that their brother, the great white wolf, was losing sleep trying to keep up with you. Knowledge of this fact spurred you on; after all, if you couldn’t beat him, it’s best to be even, no?

The next time fate brought you two together, though, you could not have been farther from on top. What made matters worse, is that you weren’t even in battle when your paths crossed. Your literal paths just simply… crossed.

You’d been riding east for many days and just as many nights. You were tired, sore, and somehow still soaked to the bone despite the fact that the rain had stopped at least a day ago. You were so tired, your muscles seemed heavy in your limbs, and you had to keep blinking hard to bring the spinning world around you back to its axis. As you rode through an intersection on the trail, the sun peaked out from behind the thick curtain of clouds just long enough to pull you fully into sleep, and right off your still-moving-horse’s saddle.  

You honestly didn’t remember falling asleep, or off the saddle. You also had no memory of the moment another traveler, who was riding towards the intersection on the other trail, leapt off his mare just as you started your descent and caught you before you could split your skull open on one of the many rocks sprinkled throughout the street. You had no memory of the way he’d pulled you off the path, leading both horses behind him as he’d carried you over his shoulder. Zero recollection of him laying you down on a bed grass, tying your horse to a nearby tree, lighting you a campfire, or filling your pack with some bread and meat.

What you did remember, was the arrogant look on his face when you finally woke up. The condescending tone he took as he reminded you that you were ‘only human’ and had to take care of yourself accordingly was also seared into the annals of your memory.

You hated that he’d saved you almost as much as you hated the fact that you’d been asleep around him. Completely vulnerable for God knows how long and he’d been there to witness it all. Whenever the memory of the look on his face or the way he’d crossed his arms and tilted his stupid head as he condescended your humanity came to you, you couldn’t help but cringe even months after the fact.

***

Your saving grace came a full six months after your damned damsel in distress moment on the trail.

Well fed, well worked, and well travelled, you were taking your time enjoying the market in your town of the week. The work you did wasn’t glamourous, but it did allow you the means to afford a few luxuries every now and then. This time, it just so happened that your coin could buy you the sweetest gift of all: revenge.

The market was busy as ever, you could barely hear yourself think over the cacophony of voices and animal bleats bouncing around the square. Had it been anyone else, the conversation would have been lost among the noise around you, but when that voice came rumbling through the mess of shrieks and shouts, you couldn’t help but seek out the source. You didn’t know why you cared or why you were so surprised to find that the voice’s owner was none other than the White Wolf himself.

“You good?” you asked, making sure to tilt your head, hands on your hips, the same way he’d done the last time you’d met.

“Fine.” He practically barked, not even turning his head fully to address you directly.

The merchant, none-too-concerned with your arrival on the scene, continued as if uninterrupted. “I’m sorry Mr. Witcher, sir, but I can’t go any lower. This is the best I can offer.”

“I can’t pay that much,” he grumbled, hands closed into tight fists.

“I’m sorry-”

“Is this enough?” you interjected, knowingly offering forward far too many ducats.

“Y-yes!” breathed the merchant, looking quizzically at Geralt before picking three coins from your open palm, “thank you, madam...”

“Y/N,” you introduced yourself with a warm smile and a nod.

“Y/N!” Geralt hissed, at the same time, reaching out to push away your hand a fraction too late; the vendor was paid, and you’d won this round.

“What is it, Witcher?” you teased, as the vendor took his sword back for repairs, “been on vacation? Why so skint?”

“Been low on work lately,” he replied coolly, cat-like eyes boring into yours, “not as many contracts as there use to be.”

“Well, I’ll be,” you said, cocking your head to the side and pursing your lips in mock contemplation, “I can’t imagine why that’d be the case! Seems I keep running into monsters to kill.”

“Mmhm.” He hummed, narrowing his eyes at you.

Refusing to let him have the last word, you quickly turned on your heels and high-tailed it out of the market, shouting over your shoulder to the blacksmith to give any change back to Geralt before disappearing back into the crowd.

***

Being even should have brought peace between the two of you but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Your last interaction only fanned the flames of your rivalry. As the months turned to years without coming upon each other again, you still found yourself filled with unreasonable anger whenever you saw a mop of white hair cross you on your travels.

And not that you’d know it, but it turned out that Geralt wasn’t faring any better; finding himself frustrated and acting recklessly whenever he’d come upon anything that reminded him of you.

You were both completely obsessed with one another. Thoughts of the other constantly on the mind. Whether in waking or in dreams, you were both equally afflicted by an intense need to outperform, out run, and also, inexplicably, to impress the other.  

*

It was that need to impress each other that led you to accept a contract you should have never even considered taking. You honestly wouldn’t have even considered it had the circumstances been any different but you’d been hearing about this monster for weeks on your travels. Tales of the mighty griffin tearing people to shreds had been circulating far and wide on this side of the Yaruga, and honestly, with every retelling you’d expected to hear that a witcher had handled it, but that never happened. You’d somehow managed to arrive at the village at the source of these stories before him and had an opportunity to literally rob him of this victory.

Granted, you were the only one who’d been attributing him with this win, but that didn’t matter, not to you. The only thing you cared about when accepting this particular contract was the knowledge that by taking it, you were preventing him from having it, and that was more than enough.

The shock on the villagers faces when they saw you accept the contract only added to your already inflated confidence. The sheer size of the griffin’s wingspan humbled you a little, though, and whatever grand illusions of an easy victory you’d carried into the forest were squashed along with a couple rib bones only moments after engaging the beast. In short, you were fucked.

Some might say that coming out of it alive was enough of a win. Those people would be morons, you thought as you stumbled clumsily back towards the lights of the village, clutching your split abdomen with both hands and blinking back blood dripping from your forehead. Every step you took came with the stabbing pain of additional tearing around your wound. You could barely think, your ears were blocked and caked with dried blood and dirt, your tears stung as they fell across the gashes on your cheeks, and every breath in felt like it could be your last. You’d never admit this out loud, but a part of you wished the creature had finished the job.

Perhaps the only saving grace here was that in your condition, you couldn’t hear the villagers as they pointed and gossiped. You didn’t hear the “told you so’s” or the lewd shouts coming from the drunk men as you stumbled into the tavern. You could barely hear the disappointment in the inn owner’s voice as they reprimanded you for accepting a contract, they knew you couldn’t complete. Rolling your eyes, you pushed your way towards the stairs as quickly as possible – which, as it turned out, was not so quick, praying that someone would call you a healer.

“… and to think a witcher arrived only hours after she went off to kill herself! Tsk-tsk!”

You stopped dead in your tracks, drops of blood falling across your brow as you interrupted the momentum you’d been building. “W-what?” you croaked, turning towards them as much as possible to make sure you’d hear them correctly.

“Yeah! And not just any witcher, lass, the Butcher of Blaviken no less! Checked in with us just as you head out. Had you waited half a day you could have saved yourself a world of – ‘ey! Now where’s she off to?”

As you registered this news, something inside you snapped. Before you knew what was happening, you’d made your way upstairs and started pushing your full weight onto every door you passed. The great White Wolf, the Butcher of Blaviken, was certainly arrogant enough to leave his door unlocked. You might have been wrong about the griffin, but you’d be damned if you were wrong about this.

Fortunate or not, you weren’t wrong about this. As you pushed your shoulder against the last door with whatever strength you had left, the door swung open with very little resistance. The heavy wooden door slammed loudly against the wall at the exact moment that your limp body crashed onto the floor.

“WHAT the fuck!” Geralt howled, leaping off the bed and onto his feet. His wild eyes assessed the situation in an instant, and he bound to you in barely two strides. “What the fuck did you do? What happened?” he asked as he flipped you over, so gently you were sure you’d already passed out and were now dreaming. Or maybe the blood loss was finally catching up to you and you were full-on hallucinating.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” you breathed, barely above a whisper, before losing consciousness in his arms.

*

Regaining consciousness was a slow, painful process. You’d come in and out of it a handful of times throughout the night, and flashes of what you’d seen before you lost it were coming to you in an almost dreamlike haze; terrifying images of the furious griffin, its blood-soaked talon shining in the setting sun as it reared back to strike you again, and warmer visions of Geralt, shirtless, running towards you with – could it be? – genuine concern in his eyes.

Now as the rising sun cast its glow across the room, you squinted painfully against the light. Your head felt as though it was full of cotton; heavy, and scratchy, and unnatural on top of your shoulders. Hesitantly, you ran your tongue over your teeth and were equal parts relieved to find them all there and disgusted at the acrid, mineral taste the blood left behind. Blinking slowly, you tried to bring up your hand to rub at your eyes, but stopped short as you felt the large bandage draped across your forehead.

Slowly, you started to register the other bandages, on your arms, your cheek, across your abdomen. Your eyes grew wide as you finally registered the man facing away from you in the far corner of the room. Geralt’s broad strong back was hunched away from you as he rifled through herbs and small glass vials looking for something. Inexplicably, you found yourself disappointed to see he’d put his thick black tunic back on. Horrified by that realization, you literally gagged, startling Geralt and pulling his attention squarely onto you.

His big dumb beautiful face was all hard lines as he looked you over, stern eyes flashing to meet yours before dropping back down to the vial in his hands. You couldn’t help be notice the way the muscles in in jaw rippled and tensed as he sighed. He was oozing disappointment and anger, and that infuriated you.

“Am I dead?” you ask, squinting at him a little theatrically as you squirmed and winced in your bed.

“No.” he practically growled, his body tense as he made his way towards you slowly.

“Oh,” you breathed, bringing your eyes up to his before adding, “this isn’t hell?”

To your immense satisfaction, his stern eyes widened into shock, but then something unrecognizable flashed across his features – wait, was he hurt?

“Why, because I’m here?” he shouted, as if in confirmation of your hunch, and slammed the damp cloth he’d been holding back into the basin.

“No, jackass,” you retorted, pleased that despite the position you were in, you still had some semblance of an upper-hand, “because a griffin fucking fileted me like a fish and some poor drunk is probably downstairs slipping in a pool of my blood right now.”

You’d kind of hoped that he’d laugh, or at least have a comeback geared up for you, but Geralt just stood there staring at you, his mouth in a tight line, nostrils flaring.

Uncomfortable by the intensity of his stare and the silence accompanying it, you decide to continue to poke the bear.

“Come on, what’s with the face, Geralt? Pissed I’m still alive? You know you could have just closed the door over my body, let nature finish the bloody job.”

“Fuck, no! Y/n!” he screamed, startling you out of the attitude you’d put on, “I’m pissed because you’re an impossibly difficult woman hellbent on killing herself! I’m pissed because you don’t seem to fucking care about what happens to you! You can’t keep doing this Y/N! Because one of these days you’re going to get hurt and you’ll be too far away from me and I won’t be able to fucking save you, again! I am pissed because I am losing my mind spending every god-awful day wondering if you’ve gone and gotten yourself killed! Fucking hell, woman! If you didn’t find me – I-if I wasn’t here, with these herbs – Damnit Y/N!”

You just sat there, mouth opening and closing like a fish. You couldn’t believe it. You didn’t know what to say. This man, your nemesis, was in front of you pacing back and forth, breathing heavily, looking like a maniac. His nostrils were flaring more than the monster that almost killed you just yesterday. Part of you wanted to correct him and demand he never address you as ‘woman’ again, but his wild earnest eyes kept you quiet. My god… was he crying?

Before you could say anything, Geralt sighed gruffly, ran his large hand over his face and stormed out, mumbling something about needing to get you more water.

Left alone with your thoughts, you couldn’t stop yourself from spiralling. You’d expected him to be angry – hell, you wanted him to be angry! You’d humiliated yourself twice over, enraging him would ease the blow – but this was… different. He seemed genuinely concerned about you. And what was with his whole speech? He spent every day thinking about you? Worrying about you? There’s no way.

Sure, you thought about him daily, but that was out of spite! You hated the man! Why else would your heart race whenever you thought you spotted him in a crowd? Why else would you actively seek out the most dangerous contracts? What, like you were hoping these contracts would draw him out, and therefore, closer to you? As if!

Your ridiculous inner monologue was interrupted by Geralt’s return. The horrible brute knocked gently on the door before stepping inside, and your heart had the audacity to skip a beat.

Oh, you thought, fuck.

“I need to change the dressing on your wounds,” he grumbled, not meeting your eyes. You nodded wordlessly as he settled onto the chair next to you. You watched him work in silence, praying he would attribute your insane heartrate and flushed skin to a pain response from his work.

“Geralt?” you tried, chewing nervously on your cheek, as was just finished up with the last of your dressing.

“Hm?” he hummed, keeping his eyes cast down as he fussed with the bandage on the gash across your abdomen.

“Thank you… for saving me.”

He finally brought his gaze up to meet yours, but said nothing in return. He merely grunted in acknowledgment. You didn’t know why, but his silence in combination with his inscrutable gaze encouraged you to keep talking.

“I honestly only took this contract because I didn’t want you to have it,” you admitted bashfully.

“What the fuck? No one was taking it because they weren’t paying nearly enough! Hell, and you’re just a human,” he fumed, throwing up air-quotes as he said it, “so what – they offered you a third of nothing?”

Laughing lightly, you shoved him with your elbow, “they offered me three whole ducats!”

“Oh, wow,” he laughed, low and rumbling, “so a big pay day for you, eh?”

“Shut up,” you gasped as pain rippled through you with each peal of laughter, “knowing I could screw you over was payment enough!”

“Well congratulations are in order, you did manage to screw someone over,” he chided.

“Me,” you stated dryly, gesturing widely at your busted up body.

“You,” he echoed with a sigh that seemed to deflate him.

He suddenly looked so small, sitting there next to you. You watched him as clenched and unclenched his jaw, rubbing his large hands up and down his thighs – was he anxious? You mind raced as you felt his eyes travel slowly up your body. You held your breath as he worked up the nerve to finally bring his eyes up to yours.

The moment his eyes landed on yours, something shifted. Whatever had been lodged uncomfortably between the two of you all these years had finally clicked into place. This change, albeit small, was palpable. His eyes dropped to your lips and lingered there. He was looking at you like he’d never seen you before. Like he was afraid he might never see you again.

Without speaking, Geralt inched himself closer to you and reached a tender hand to tuck your hair behind your ears before cradling your face.

“You’re not allowed to die, do you hear me?” he whispered, gently stroking your cheek with his thumb.

You gave him a quick nod and brought your hand up to his, nuzzling into the warmth of his palm before giving his hand a quick kiss.

“I need to hear you say it,” he begged, bringing himself even closer to you.

“I do,” you breathed, trying to sit up to bring your face closer to his. “I’m not going to die, not on your watch, but I’m also not quitting.”

“Y/N –”

“No! If I quit, you’d get lazy. Who’d push you? What would be your driving force?”

“Wow,” he scoffed, looking at you incredulously but fondly, “you’re so fucking arrogant.”

“And yet…” you said, quirking a brow flirtatiously as you pulled him closer by the collar.

“… and yet?” he murmured, letting himself be pulled closer to you. His eyes half-closed and his lips slightly parted.

“You love me.”

“I love you.”

And then he kissed you. His mouth claimed yours urgently but his hands were ever gentle, ghosting over your bandages and caressing your skin with a feather-light tenderness that would have brought you to your knees had you not already been bedridden. Any hesitation or doubt melted away under the heat of his touch as all those years of tension sprung apart catastrophically. The knot you had carried in your stomach unfurled into flittering fireflies, their heat traveling up your stomach to your chest as his hands worked their way into your hair.

You didn’t know when they’d fallen, but you let out a shaky laugh as Geralt kissed away the tears on your cheeks, his thumb swiping at the tears his soft lips failed to catch. Breathing heavily, he rested his forehead against yours; his hands cupping your face as yours captured his.

Gods – this man was going to be the death of you.  

[rated-thoughts]

Hellloooo! I love love love your page! Is there a way you can write a Yuto smut? He’s daddy asfff.

Hiiii! Omg its been ages since I last posted here but since im back in the fandom, i'll present to you a Yuto smut as a comeback ^^

Please enjoy this short Adachi Yuto smut 😈

TW: degrading and edging

****

It's been a year since you last saw your boyfriend. You understand that it's because he's an idol but you still can't help but to miss him so badly and wish he never entered the kpop industry so you can keep him by your side. But what can you do? It's his dream he's a little kid.

As you patiently wait for his call, you heard your mom call you to eat dinner. Since there's an unspoken rule in your house that no gadgets are allowed in the dining table, you decided to just leave your phone on your bed.

"What's for dinner, Mo—" your eyes widen when you saw your boyfriend, Yuto, beaming at you. Literally brightening the whole dining with his smile.

"Yuki-san," he called while walking near you "how are you?" he continued, still with a wide smile plastered on his face.

Too overwhelmed with emotion, you just hugged him tight. Earning a chuckle from the younger.

"Yuto, when did you arrive?" you said, cupping his face in your hands. "You should have told me you'll be coming home so that I could have waited for you at the airport."

He chuckles again. "Then that would have ruined the surprise, silly." You mom answered for him. You knew your father's disappearance early that day was suspicious.

"Now, I know you miss each other but I'm hungry. Can we please eat now?" everyone laughed at what your father said.

The dinner went well, it's filled with laughter as Yuto share what have happened in the last year he stayed in Korea. He said they finally had their first win and how many people recognize them now.

Your parents went home after dinner, saying they'll just visit again after a week and that you two should enjoy your time together before Yuto comes home to his family.

~~~~~~

You stared lovingly at your boyfriend as he sat on your bed. Soaking in his presence, making sure you're not dreaming.

"You know there will be a big hole in my face by tomorrow if you don't stop staring at me" and that made you come to your senses.

"Well I'm sorry sir but I just miss you very much. I've been waiting for you to call all day since I know you don't have any schedule." you jokingly throw a small stuff plushie and then rolled your eyes on him.

"Oh, you were waiting for my call, huh?" he smirked, and you definitely know what he meant with that.

You turned red and his smirk grew bigger.

"Of course, I wanted to see your face and hear your voice." you stood up from the bed, walking to your big glass window. The city lights twinkles, lighting up the busy roads.

Getting distracted with the cars and people, you didnt realize that Yuto got up from the bed. He gently kissed your exposed shoulder, sending shivers down your spine.

"I miss you." he whispered. "I miss you so bad." his kisses are light as a feather as he move to your neck.

"I miss you too." you said back, almost breathless.

He made you face him, too impatienly. You lost your balance but he caught you. Pinning you now on the window, kissing you too aggressively.

Your apartment's on the 8th floor, not that high from the ground that its possible that if you have sex with him right there, people will see you. With that thought on mind, aroused you even more.

As he move to kiss your neck and leave his love marks, he didnt even bother to remove your shirt. He carelessly tries to remove your pants. Too desparate to think properly.

You help him with his pants too, unbulking amd unbottoning it in a swift move.

When he moaned in your mouth from being free, you took that chance to let your tongue inside his mouth. Accidentally biting on his lower lip when he inserted two fingers inside you.

"Oh fuck." he hissed, licking the part where you bit him. "I'm sorr— AAAAAAAAAH" you screamed, he didn't even let you finish apologizing when he pumped his fingers inside you fast.

"What the fuck did I tell you about biting me?" he looked angry. "I— I'm sorry! I didn't mean to. Please." you said, voice shaking.

When he felt your walls tightening around his fingers, he slowed down. Earning a whimper of dissatisfaction from you.

"How could you forget that? Was it because you have been punished?" he continues with his slow pace, looking at your face for reaction. He went faster again, slowing down whenever he'll see a satisfied reaction from you.

"Yuto, please." you begged, hoping he's listen to you.

"What did you just call me? Yuto? Who am I if we're alone?" you gulp, you shouldn't have called him by his name especially during times like this.

When he didnt hear any answer from you, he removed his fingers inside of you.

"I guess I should go. If you won't act properly, then what's the point huh?" he started wearing his pants again. You stopped him, grabbing his hands.

"Daddy, please. Don't go. I'll do anything." you said, still holding his hands.

"How can I not go when you're like that? It's like you're forgotten who I am."

"No, please. You're my master. I'll be a good girl, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." tears almost rolled down your eyes while saying that.

Even though you are older than him by 3 years, you are well aware that Yuto likes it when he feels dominant. Especially when it comes to this type of situation. He likes to be praised how good he is and how you'll do anything to satisfy him.

He smirked, a thought playing in his head.

"Why don't you removed your shirt and press yourself on the window? Show how much of a whore you are. Show them what you wsnt me to do to you." he sat down on your bed again, watching your every move.

You sighed when the cold air hits your exposed nipples, hardening visibly.

You faced the window again, pressing your upper body on the glass and spreading your legs apart.

Yuto can see your ass hole as you spread your ass cheeks apart before proceeding to play with your pussy.

He unconciously licks his lips, feeling out of breath.

You screaming his name, when you inserted three fingers inside you. Yuto was amazed at how wet you look. Pumping three fingers inside you with ease.

You repeatedly call him daddy, really feeling yourself.

His pants are now too tight for his liking so he just decided to come behind you and pressed his clothed cock on your area. He's humping even in the slightest collision. Your soft moans are too much for him that he impatiently freed himself, immediately thrusting into your wet cavern.

You screaming because of how sudden he entered you, you bet your neighbors heard you.

His thrusts are fast and deep. As if he's trying to reach a certain part inside of you.

"Daddy, please. Harder." with that, he slowed down but his thrusts are harder. You can feel the window glass almost vibrate from the impact.

"Open your eyes, look down below. People can see how much of a slut you are." he said as he grabs your hair. You just replied with a moan.

"Whose slut are you? Huh? Who owns you and your filthy body?" you didn't answer, instead you just moaned louder. "Fucking asnwer me you bitch." his fasten his pace and even hsrder than earlier pinned you more on the window.

"Yours! I'm— am fucking yours! I am Adachi Yuto's." you moaned screamed. "You'll always be my daddy and I am your little slut" with that Yuto felt your walls tighten around his cock.

He slowed down his pace again, making you cry. "Please, I'm cumming. Let me cum, pleade." You begged but he didnt listen. He just continue fucking you slow but harder. His low grunts adding to how horny you are.

One last hard thrust before he went crazy. His pace is almost animal like and both of you are a moaning mess.

Almost at the same time, both of you came. Yuto not stopping to ride your high, making you continuesly scream his name and ask him to stop.

When he felt his last seeds inside you, he finally stopped. He let his cock rest inside you as he kiss your back. Feeling your chest go up and down in a steady breathing pace.

After a few seconds, he pulled himself out of you. He picked you up bridal style and laid you down on your bed.

He lays next to you and smiled at your lovingly. "I'm sorry if I was too rough. I love you." you shook your head and peaked his lips.

"It's okay. I missed you so much and I love you more." he kissed your forehead and pulled you closer to hug you tighter.

******

The end.

Omg, it's longer than what I expected but please tell me what you think. It's been a while since i last written especially smut so I am rusty asf.

[sneezefiction]

you’re my adventure

Nishinoya x Reader - Scenario

desc: engagements and soft moments

a/n: a request from @curlykoo for some fluffy, sweet Noya! i’m sorry I couldn’t pull off a sequel to the angsty noya fic, but I hope this makes you smile <333 thank you so much for requesting + waiting ! (my titles get cheesier every time i post lmao)

warnings: none! (legit, you’re gonna b smothered in fluff)

wc: 1500

---

“Keep your eyes covered, y/n.” Nishinoya says, leading you gently by your hand to a destination in the open air.

Midsummer nights are never chilly, but you wouldn’t have minded a small jacket or cardigan.

He’d planned for your ultimate comfort and, with your eyes still closed, envelops you in a light, fluffy blanket. He knows you well.

So you trust him and keep walking, one hand in his, the other grasping the blanket on your shoulder.

Your feet finally tap the side of a small curb, and with that he says,

“Now open!” In a nervously, excited whisper.

---

Noya exists for the purpose of adventure. To know and taste every sensation. To feel ridged mountainsides. To hunt for new experiences. Capturing every living, breathing thing in a mental photo. Documenting each distinct memory.

Novelty is forever fleeting, but some are born to find it. Again and again and again.

And that’s Nishinoya for you. Always finding, forever searching.

But for so long, he’s done it alone.

And, he supposes, alone isn’t… bad.

It’s true, there’s freedom in venturing by himself. He’s free to do as he pleases, whenever he pleases.

No one to look out for, nothing to tie him down.

Just endless journeys for him to explore.

But there’s a point when “alone” simply becomes “lonely.”

And that shift was a hard pill to swallow… because to settle down and stifle the “lonely” seemed to mean he had to lose his true love. Adventure.

Little did he know, the true adventure was about to start as you made your entrance into his life.

---

It’s Friday once again.

And Fridays are deemed exploration days by your bubble-machine of a boyfriend, Nishinoya.

Thus it makes sense that the week is incomplete, if not absolutely suffocating to him, if he hasn’t had a chance to leave your snug apartment to feel grass below his feet and the rustle of wind through his hair.

You usually give him space to go off, self-examine, and explore by himself. It’s something he’s always needed to do and it’s never gotten in the way of your relationship.

If anything it made you love him and his unique spirit even more.

However, every once in a while, he’ll want you to join him.

Tonight just happens to be one of those nights. No rhyme or reason to it.

It’s not the most unusual request, but as you asked “where to,” he refused you an answer.

Yet, the sparkle in his eye told you that he was hiding something.

Something significant.

Something special he just had to share with you.

So you let him take you by the hand, pulling you toward this secret destination.

---

“And open!”

It takes you a moment to realize where you are.

It’s exactly where you had your first date with this spiky-haired boy. The roof of the parking garage.

You fondly remember blue tongues and sugary, sweet lips from the slushies Noya had bought you back then. How he chased you after you ruffled-up his hair, letting you think you could get away, but catching up with you in no time. How when he caught you, he cupped your cheeks, staring into your eyes adoringly.

You shared many long, devoted kisses that night. Delicate touches. Conversations about passions and desires.

Since then, you’ve been attached at the hip.

Y’all rarely revisited that exact spot, deeming it a “sacred place” meant only for perfect moments and irreversible discussions and decisions. Your heart is racing.

The lot is comfortably empty, a brilliant full moon above you acting as the primary light source.

Before you are a pile of pillows and blankets, a small cluster of candles, and… of course…

Those truly iconic blue slushies.

You’re at a loss for words.

He leads you to his setup, letting you get comfortable enough to fully take in the scene.

It’s romantic.

Divine.

Unbelievably thoughtful.

For someone so carefree, you forget just how much beauty and ambiance matters to Nishinoya. Every last detail is there, pristine yet cozy. The location and atmosphere, perfect.

You break the silence,

“Noya, this is… stunning.” Your mouth hangs open slightly, in awe of the scene set before you.

That he cared so deeply for this very moment, for you, to do all of this.

“I just- I- Even the slushies!” You’re laughing, words coming out in jumbles.

So you slouch down into the pillow, legs curled into your chest, hands resting on your knees.

The stars overhead are completely outshone by your wide, sparkling eyes.

“So what’s all this for, baby? It’s not our anniversary, y’know?” You smile, genuinely curious and a little nervous.

Your usually chatty, animated boyfriend is completely silent.

He wordlessly gets down on his knees in front of you and sets his hands on top of yours.

Taking both of them into his own, he waits a minute, stroking them with his thumb.

He then takes the deepest breath he can muster,

“Y/n… all my life I’ve wanted to be free.” He starts, voice shaky.

“You know how much I love adventure...” 

You nod slowly, your eyes shining as they meet his, 

“and I’ve had my fair share of them.” He expresses with a smile on his lips, picturing one of those precious moments right now.

And suddenly, his words gain strength and confidence.

“But I never realized that I could feel this free. Especially not with someone else by my side.”

Your heart skips a beat. 

This isn’t any old conversation anymore.

No, this pertains to you. Your relationship. Your Noya.

“Y/n… you should know, my old life pales in comparison to these past two years I’ve spent with you.” He states boldly, no longer wavering.

“Those 22 years don’t match up to the amount of life I get to share with you now.”

He can hear his heart beating out of his chest.

“You’re my adventure, y/n.” He reveals, his face warm, but heart even warmer.

And the happiest of tears are dripping down your chin, onto his hands.

“I want you to know that out of every amazing mountaintop I’ve climbed, you’re better than it’s peak.”

“Not even the bluest, clearest ocean, the steepest waterfall, or the most beautiful flower can compete with all the wonderful things I’ve experienced with you.”

He shifts and shuffles to grab something out of his pocket.

But, of course, he drops it first.

Nishinoya let’s the most comical gasp you’ve ever heard, escape his lips.

You laugh, tears falling faster, but youe smile growing so wide your face begins to hurt.

He recovers the item quickly and mentally kicks himself for ruining the vibe like the complete goof he actually is.

But it’s clear what’s going on.

It’s barely made visible by the moonlight and the subtle glimmer of candles...

but there’s a small, velvet box in the palm of his hand.

Even though you’d already begun to expect it, you can’t help put both of your hands over your mouth in shock.

“Y/n, I’m gonna need your hands back, please.” He laughs, knowing his secret is out now.

“Because, you see… I have this ring…” He pauses,

“...and I kinda want you to wear it for the rest of your life.”

He gazes at you for a moment longer, soaking in your reaction.

“Please marry me, y/n!” The words fall out his mouth in the most Noya way.

It feels just like a movie.

Where the whole world ceases to spin and gravity releases its hold on the both of you for just a moment. 

Because you suddenly no longer feel anything but his touch. His gaze. His nearness.

You remove the shaky hand from your mouth and reach it out to him.

He wraps his fingers around your palm tenderly, carefully placing a simple, but beautiful diamond-studded engagement band on your ring finger.

Of course, you take a second to examine the ring... but your eyes slowly drift back to admire your real treasure.

Your eyes meet his again.

But this time, it’s not just your boyfriend.

This is your future husband.

And the pent-up energy is too much for Noya, so he moves on to what he does best:

He full-on tackles you in the biggest, most life-giving hug you’ve ever received.

You’re thrown back onto more blankets, your head guarded by his hand so it doesn’t touch the ground.

You’re both giggling and gasping for air from, the tears you just spilled leaving you breathless.

And you lay there, chest to chest, his head laying on your shoulder.

It takes a moment, but Nishinoya lets out one last sigh before shifting to lay down next to you.

In your eyes, he sees everything.

He sees endless opportunities. Countless journeys.

And he cannot wait to pursue all of it.

He does his best to express this with simple, but bold words,

“I can’t wait to explore every part of life with you.” His head tilting to face you, your fingers now interlocked with his.

Your heart is bursting, unable to contain the joy you’re experiencing…

Yet all you can say is, 

“Yes… me too, Noya. I love you so much.”

---

tags:  @cherryonigiri

[thdorkmagnet]

The Princess and the Street Dog

Hello everyone!! So today I am posting a birthday gift for my dear amazing friend @kikithefox231​. She had an idea for a Lady and the Tramp AU and I fell in love with it! Of all her incredible AU’s this one might be my favorite, haha. She also offered to make a cover for it and gosh it just turned out adorable!! Thanks for that Kiki and Happy Birthday, dude! You deserve it!

 Star's life had always been perfect. Ever since she could remember she had been living the life of luxury. She had been adopted by a lovely family of humans known as Eclipsa and Globgor. They treated her with so much warmth and kindness that she never felt unloved. She could do basically whatever she wanted: sleep on the bed at their feet, eat half of Globgor’s morning donut, and she was even free to bark and chase around as many birds or squirrels as she wanted. 

Yep, life for Star was pretty good.

Loving with a silver spoon would do that to you. Sure there was a problem or two from time to time but nothing that ever threatened her lifestyle. The biggest hiccup had been when Globgore and Eclipsa had a 'baby' as they called it and suddenly the attention was shifted away from her. She was pretty upset and even a little jealous until she had actually seen little Meteora and her heart had melted. She fell in love with the baby and her tail was wagging so much the first time she saw her, it was a wonder it didn't break off. 

So yeah life for Star was good.

Except....

It wasn't. Lately Star has been craving more. She wanted to see more than the small fenced-in enclosure she called home. Sure she loved her home and owners and couldn't ask for better but at the same time... she wanted more! She knew there was stuff out there that she had never seen before and she would love a chance to see it someday. 

Of course it wasn't her fault she had started having these thoughts, they had been implanted into her brain by the wild street dog known as Marco. Ever since he started showing up, Star has begun desiring more from her life than the pampered existence she knew. He would come around to bother her and tell her stories about life outside of fences, about railroad tracks and garbage cans and fire hydrants. Star pretended not to care but inwardly, her curiosity was beyond peaked and she secretly loved whenever Marco appeared, something about him just drew her in and she couldn't quite explain it.

Not that she would ever let it show.

Star was thinking about him as she laid out of the grass, letting the bright sunlight soak into her warm fur. She had had a very busy morning, fetching the newspaper, burying the bone Eclipsa had given her, barking at a group of stray birds that wandered into her yard, the usual stuff and she was enjoying some well deserved rest. Of course she was also trying to show off the new pink bow her owners had tied around her ears, it looked great on her and she was happy to gain attention over it.

But then her peaceful morning was interrupted as she heard a distinct set of pawprints heading her way. She let out a groan, while her heartbeat began to pick up its pace again. There was only one animal in the world those pawsteps could belong to, Marco's brash, confident stride too distinct to be anyone else. 

Star felt her heartbeat racing against her chest and her tail began to wag against her will. She did her best to hide her joy though, pretending to be asleep. She didn't want to let him know the effect he had on her, even though she was practically shivering with anticipation.

She felt the tiniest of smiles form on her face as she heard the gate to her yard creak open. She didn't know why but she loved the fact that Marco was there to see her. That he came all this way specifically for her. Something about that caused goosebumps to appear under her fur. 

She listened as his paws padded on the soft grass getting closer and closer but she didn't dare risk looking. Maybe if he thought she was sleeping he would leave and honestly even though she wanted to see him, she didn't want the temptation that came with him. His wild, chaotic nature was hard to resist.

But her charade proved ineffective when a cocky voice said, "Hello princess."

Star let out a fake sigh, pretending to be annoyed by the nickname he had given her, instead of the intense feeling of joy that rushed through her. "Why do you always have the worst timing? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something."

Marco lay down in front of her, their faces so close their noses were nearly touching. "Funny, to my eye it looks like you're doing a whole lot of nothing," he said with an intoxicating smirk.

Star huffed, sticking her nose up in the air like her friend Ponyhead had taught her, saying in a superior tone, "For your information it's called a nap."

Marco wasn't at all affected by her power, rolling around some on the grass as he commented, "Wow, I knew you were pampered but I didn't realize the pet life made you so lazy."

Star couldn't stop the growl at the teasing insult, her cheeks puffing up in the cutest way. "I'm not lazy!" She argued, shooting the street dog an annoyed scowl. "For your information I had a very busy morning!"

"Doing what? Getting a pedicure?" Marco asked with a sly grin, clearly enjoying getting under the cocker spaniel's skin. 

"No that was the day before," Star replied without thinking. But upon realizing her mistake she flushed, knowing how the argument was just made invalid. The collie broke out into laughter and Star resisted every urge in her body that told her to hide her blushing face from his gaze. Instead she simply settled for looking away and pouting. 

"Whatever, it's not that bad," she muttered under her breath. In a louder voice though she asked in an annoyed huff, "Did you come all the way here just to insult me?"

"Nope," Marco said, finally recovering from his laughing fit, stretched out his limbs and back as he spoke. "Actually I was on my way to have some real fun and figured I'd invite you along." The dog crossed his paws in front of him before laying his head on top, giving the pampered pooch a knowing smirk. "But clearly you're too busy to come."

Star saw through the dog’s attempt to manipulate her, his hidden smug and wagging tail giving him away in a heartbeat. But Star was not so easily manipulated and so she kept a straight face as she replied, "That's right. So why don't you run along and let me nap in peace." She turned her back to him and laid down closing her eyes while listening closely to see if he would actually leave or not. 

But even this was not enough to shake Marco as he trotted around her, now facing her again. "Oh come on," he pressed bending down so that his face hovered a few inches from her own. "Don’t tell me you aren't curious? Where's your sense of adventure? Don't you want more out of life than being a pet! Don't you wanna see what a dog's life can really be?"

Star didn't know how to reply to that, because she was curious. She did want to see what life off of a leash was like. She knew she shouldn't but she did and that burning desire made her hesitate. Marco's offer was so intriguing, could she really pass up this chance?

Marco could see her will breaking and added in a hinting tone, "Come on, princess. You know you want to."

"But-But Eclipsa and Globgor," she quickly stammered, but the excuse was halfhearted and she knew it. 

“I’ll have you back before they even know you’re gone,” Marco promised, giving her a trusting smile, one that Star found impossible to resist, her curiosity and the street dog’s pressure pushing her over the edge. 

She let out a long, drawn-out sigh, before finally saying, “Okay, fine.” But she added quickly, “But only because it’ll get you to leave me alone.” 

It was clear Marco saw through her obvious lie due to his wide smirk but thankfully he kept whatever comment he had to himself as he simply replied, “Cool. Glad to hear I finally convinced you.” 

“Not like I had much choice,” Star muttered sourly, stretching out her limbs as she finally stood. She made sure to not let her smile show, her excitement at finally getting to see the outside world making her inwardly giddy. But she did not want Marco to see that. 

Marco chuckled to himself at Star’s pouting and told her smoothly, “Hey, I promise you’re gonna love it and a street dog’s ode is his life.”

“Really?” Star questioned, raising a teasing eyebrow. She allowed the dog to lead her over to the opened gate. 

“Oh yeah, just because we aren’t pampered head to toe doesn’t mean we don’t have standards, princess.”

“Well, I suppose we’ll just have to see how true your ode is then, won’t we?” 

Marco gave her a confident grin over his shoulder, that caused Star’s cheeks to heat up. “Challenge accepted.” The two reached the gate and Marco waved a paw towards the exit, bowing his head low. “After you,” he said in what could almost pass for a sophisticated tone if Star didn’t notice the sarcasm dripping from his every inflection.

“Such a gentlemen,” she returned, playing along with his act as she trotted past him, keeping her head held high in a dignified manner. But she paused just a second as she reached the crosswalk, feeling anxious to take that final step into a world she didn’t know or understand. She didn’t pause for too long though, feeling Marco’s stare on her back, no doubt judging her hesitation and wanting to prove herself to the street dog she forced her paw onto the hard cement sidewalk. For some reason, Star’s body tensed up, her hair standing slightly on end as if she expected some disaster to happen the moment she left the safety of her yard. But nothing happened, the pair remained untouched and Star felt slightly embarrassed for the irrational panic. 

Marco grinned brightly at seeing the fussy dog finally stepping outside her comfort zone and his tail wagged happily as he watched her reluctantly standing on the sidewalk. He had been waiting for this moment for so long and he finally had convinced his crush to go on an adventure with him. He could see her start to rethink her decision though, indecision flashing in her eyes and he quickly said, “Come on, it’s this way.” And with that he headed off towards town, already coming up with the quickest route out of the fancy neighborhood. He held his breath slightly as he listened closely for Star’s pawsteps and after a couple seconds he heard her following along behind him and felt his heart leap in his chest. 

Star made sure to stick close to Marco as she stumbled along blindly behind him, the burning curiosity in her chest pressing her forward as her beloved home slowly faded in the distance as she journeyed into the unknown. 

...

Star was enchanted by the world outside her fence. She could only gap and wag her tail at every new sight that came her way, following along behind Marco. There were so many things to see, automobiles and fire hydrants and so, so many humans! Thousands of new smells invaded Star's nostrils and she couldn't help but sniff back eagerly. She wanted to know what all of it was and meant. 

She tried to keep her composure, especially when she caught a few smirking glances from Marco. She was a lady, after all. Still, it was hard to act sophisticated when you were left gawking awkwardly at something as simple as a window shop. Star jumped when a Jack-in-the-box popped up from behind the glass and Marco laughed. She tried to ignore the annoying tramp as well as her warm cheeks.

Marco led her over to some railroad tracks and they followed them for a short ways. Again, Star couldn't hold in her excitement as she asked, "Do you think we'll see a train?" 

"Probably not, the trains don't usually run at this time," Marco nonchalantly replied, boldly walking on the tracks themselves, while Star trotted next to them. 

"Oh," Star replied sadly, unable to hide her disappointment.

"Maybe next time, princess," Marco reassured her, giving her a tiny glance. 

Star didn't reply but her tail wagged just a little bit harder at the thought of there being a 'next time'. She hadn't been too sure about an outing with the street dog at first but she had to admit she was enjoying herself. Maybe she wouldn't mind having a 'next time' with Marco. 

Then the two reached their destination.

Of all the places Star had been imagining (since Marco had insisted on it being a surprise) an old rundown farm was not one of them. If farm was even the right word. The grass had been picked clean, only dirt and mud left. The house was falling apart loose boards and peeling paint making the place look hazardous. The only thing of even remote interest was a worn down chicken coop. Star gave Marco a skeptical look silently asking 'Is this the place?'

The mutt ignored his critical companion, breathing in the rustic air before sighing contintly, "This place never changes."

"Are you sure that's a good thing?" Star commented, wrinkling her snout.

Marco finally picked up on the pet's contempt and said confidently, "Trust me, Star. You are gonna love this."

"If you say so," Star replied, shifting uncomfortably on her paws, suddenly not sure about her decision to tag along. The dirt especially making her hesitant. Eclipsa hated having to give her baths and would usually ask Globgor do it. Star didn't want to cause trouble for her owners. 

But she was already here and she didn't want to turn back now, she would never hear the end about it from Marco. She had to prove to him once and for all that a pet could be just as wild and reckless as a stray. 

So, Star just took in a breath, gazing up at the wire fence that sealed off their entrance and asked, "So how do we get in?"

"This way," Marco replied, padding over to the fence and gesturing with his paw to a small hole just under where the fence was. He quickly widened the hole, using his front paws to scoop out dirt so both he and Star could fit easily under.

Star watched as the collie easily slipped through the hole, not a single patch of fur even grazing the fence line. He then turned, waiting for Star to do the same.

But she hesitated. 

Marco watched her stand there awkwardly for a second, before asking, "What is it now, princess?" A smirk grew as he added teasingly, "Afraid of getting a little dirty?"

Star's gaze narrowed slightly but she shook her head, causing her ears to flop back and forth. "No, it's just... my bow."

"Your bow," Marco repeated, an eyebrow beginning to raise. 

Star felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment, suddenly feeling stupid for bringing it up, but she lowered her head so Marco could clearly see the pretty pink ribbon tied around her ears, resting comfortably at the back of her head. "Uh yeah, Eclipsa and Globgor just bought it for me, I'm afraid it'll get ruined." Her voice grew softer and softer with each word, shame making her voice slowly break off, lost to the wind.

She waited for Marco to laugh or taunt her but surprisingly the dog didn't say anything, instead just gazing around thoughtfully at the fence. Star watched in surprise as his bright brown eyes searched for any openings, before they landed on a small gate. 

"Hang on I got an idea," Marco said. The hound then began the grueling task of trying to open the small lock with nothing but his nose. It took several attempts, trying to tease the small clasp up and Star held her breath at every try, sighing in disappointment each time it slipped right back into place. 

Finally after several endless minutes, Marco managed to get the gate open, a small push from his paw allowing Star to easily enter inside. 

Star happily trotted inside, touched by Marco's kindness. "Thanks," she whispered shyly. "I really appreciate you doing that for me." She scratched a paw in the dirt absentmindedly. 

Marco shrugged. "Well I couldn't let you ruin something important to you because of me, what kind of friend would I be, then?"

Star was too stunned to respond to that, just staring at him, wide-eyed. The slight sparkle in her eye seemed to make Marco uncomfortable, coughing into his paw before turning away and adding quickly, "B-Besides, then I'd never get you to come out of your fancy cage again, soooo-"

Star smiled softly back at him, easily picking up on his attempts to cover up his compassionate act and simply replied, "Well thanks all the same."

"S-Sure, it's no big deal, really," Marco nervously stuttered, for the first time losing his cocky demeanor that Star had so heavily associated with him. Looks like there was more to Marco than she had thought. And Star couldn't help her curiosity as she wondered what other sides to him waited beneath his rough exterior. 

"Anyways," Marco continued in a desperate attempt to change the subject. "Let me show you what we came here for." 

"Oh please," Star said teasingly, trotting along beside him as he led her to the chicken coop. "The anticipation is killing me."

Marco gestured with a paw at the coop. "Here we are!" He said in a showy tone. 

Stars eyes narrowed in confusion. "I'm confused is it behind the dirty chicken coop orrr-"

Marco gave a fake laugh at the comment. "Haha, very funny. No, it is the chicken coop, Star."

"And why do we care about chickens, exactly?" Star asked, still not following Marco's train of thought.

"Easy. We're gonna scare them and then chase them around a bunch."

Star was startled by this answer, blurting out, "Why would we do that?"

"Because it's fun," Marco replied simply. 

"But we won't hurt them right?" Star asked nervously. 

"Naaahh," Marco dismissively answered, already walking up the wooden plank that led inside. "They love it. This is what they live for."

"Well, alright then," Star said wincing but still followed after her friend. She still had a point to prove, after all. 

Once inside, the smell of must and feathers filled Star's nose and she blinked a few times waiting for her eyes to adjust. The chickens all lay on small piles of straw that acted as their nest, each snoring peacefully, oblivious to the intruders in their home. The pampered pup looked over at her friend, unsure of what to do now.

But it seemed Marco was easily in control of the situation, shooting her a wink before sucking in a deep breath. Before Star could question what he was doing the mutt let out a loud series of barks that caused Star to flinch and startled the birds from their slumber, squawking and flapping around the coop wildly. Then they all rushed towards the only exit and Star barely had time to jump out of the way of the fluttering of a thousand feathers.

Star watched stunned as the birds scattered out across the yard, still clucking loudly and making a huge fuss as they scrambled around blindly. The pet felt a twinge of regret for scaring the birds until her eyes landed on Marco. The street dog crouched forward on his front paws, so his tail was sticking up in the air. It was wagging so quickly it was a wonder it hadn't lifted him off the ground. There was a playfulness in his eyes and his tongue stuck out just slightly and Star couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of the grown dog acting like a mere pup. 

Marco heard her chuckle and flashed her a winning grin that caused Star’s whole body to warm with affection and she smiled back at the mutt without even thinking. Then, without warning, the street dog launched himself towards one of the chickens causing it to squawk and scamper away as fast as it’s claws would allow. But Marco was on it’s tail in a second, following closely along behind it and letting out a few yips here and there to keep it motivated on escaping him. Star now outright laughed at her companion’s ridiculous display, his tongue now hanging fully out of his mouth as he chased after the bird, which zigzagged around the yard in some form of evasive maneuver. 

Star laughed harder and harder until her stomach hurt and there were tears in her eyes and still the mutt continued his hilarious display. Marco paused for only a second, panting wildly but clearly enjoying himself and he gave a slight incline of his head towards the lady dog, beaconing her over. Star shook her head, still thinking of her privileged upbringing, it simply wouldn’t be dignified of her. Marco’s eyes flashed with some kind of determination but quickly raced after the chicken again. 

This time though, he seemed to be guiding it in a specific path, cutting it off at several points and forcing it to turn and run and Star realized too late that he was leading it over to her. She shrieked and quickly moved out of the way as the chicken ran past, a few feathers flying up into the air and landing in her soft fur. Marco flew by her in a blur and she shot him an annoyed glare which he returned with a shrug over his shoulders. 

Star let out a huff, but a smile spread across her face a second later as she chased not after the chicken, but Marco himself, all thoughts of preserving dignity and respect lost as she gave into the tramp’s game. “Get back here, you scoundrel!” she barked playfully.

“You’ll have to catch me, Princess,” Marco shouted over his shoulder, delighted his companion was finally joining in on the fun. 

The two giggled as they raced around the yard, sending chickens fluttering into the air at every turn, the chickens themselves now forgotten as a game of chase broke out instead. Star, not used to running this much, found herself struggling to catch up to Marco but she refused to give up. Thinking quickly, she broke off course, running around the chicken coop and able to outmaneuver the hound. She let out a laugh of victory shouting, “Gotcha!” she lept towards him but he quickly jumped out of the way, causing her to land hard in the dirt. 

Star sat up quickly, spitting rocks and dirt from her mouth before growling as she heard Marco’s laughter. She rose to her paws, shaking the loose dirt off her shiny fur, before shooting her friend another glare. “Oh, that’s it, you’re on now!” she yelled, barely able to suppress her own laugh. Marco fake gasped before taking off running again and Star raced after him.

The two ran around the small backyard together and Star smiled brightly, enjoying the feeling of the wind on her face, the pounding in her heart, her ears flapping behind her. All of it. And all those days, living safe and secluded in her small home melted away as the feeling of true freedom overtook her. Marco hadn’t lied to her when he said she would have fun, Star was having the time of her life and she never wanted it to end! 

Star seeing several chickens pecking at the ground in front of her and Marco, smiled mischievously before letting out a loud bark, causing the birds to panic and scatter, several of them flapping their wings right in the poor dog’s face causing him to stumble back in surprise. Star used this opportunity to pounce on her companion, knocking him to the ground and pinning him under her weight. “Gotcha!” she shouted in victory, her front paws perched on his back and her head held high. “How’s that for a house pet?”

Marco chuckled, before rolling over on his back, causing her to slide off of him. The two lay on the ground for a minute, panting, staring into each other’s eyes as they smiled blissfully. 

“Alright, I admit that was pretty good,” Marco finally said, his tone full of some emotion Star couldn’t quite place, but there was a tenderness in her eyes that made her tail wag in joy. “I knew there was more to you than meets the eye.”

“Hmm, turns out there’s more to you, too,” Star commented shyly, suddenly looking away to hide her burning cheeks. 

“Like what?” he asked, leaning a little closer to her so their noses were almost touching. 

“Like… maybe you aren’t as annoying as I thought you were,” Star answered softly. The cocker spaniel found herself scooting closer to her companion. She didn’t know what she was about to do but she knew she wanted whatever it was to happen. 

“You might even be really… nice,” she finished.

There was now almost no space between them, their faces so close Star could smell Marco’s scent. It was musty and gritty but full of so much life and she wanted to know more. She wanted to know everything about Marco, wanted to be a part of his life in the same way he had become a part of hers. She wanted-

“Hey!” A loud voice interrupted the moment and Star looked over to see a human, an angry scowl on his face and a gleaming gray tool perched tightly in his hands. Star shivered at the hatred on the man’s face and she thought she saw Marco put a protective paw in front of her but it could have been her imagination. “Stop scaring my chickens, you mutts!” The man raised the shiny barrel so it was now facing right towards the pair of dogs and Star felt her heart drop. 

Marco let out a loud bark, which caused the man to jump and a loud bang rang through the air, hurting Star’s sensitive ears. The ground right beside her paw was stuck by something hard and fast, kicking dirt up into the air and terror shot through Star as she instinctively pulled her paw away from the sudden impact. “Run!” Marco shouted and Star didn’t have to be told twice. The two raced out the open gate, several chickens flapping out of their way and scattering into the street. Another loud bang sounded behind Star, who flinched but didn’t dare turn to see what it was, her heart racing quickly in her chest. 

She just focused on following Marco and not on the loud, angry shouts of the cruel man that grew further and further away. The street dog led them onto the street and Star didn’t hesitate to follow him, hoping he knew best. But at that exact moment, a car pulled out right in front of them and Star froze in terror. Thankfully, the car swerved to avoid hitting her, honking loudly in annoyance but sparing her life, thankfully. Star shook her head to free herself from her paralzed state and quickly chased after Marco, who was now quite a bit ahead of her. 

The street dog seemed to not notice his companion lagging behind as he swerved around several humans who now crowded the sidewalks. Star saw Marco disappear around a corner and quickly followed after him.

Star found herself in an abandoned alleyway and she sighed in relief to be out of the street and away from danger. But this was short-lived as she realized she didn’t see Marco anywhere. “Marco?” she called, trying to keep the quiver out of her voice. After the scare earlier the silence of the alley was unnerving to Star and she felt her body shaking some against her will. She tried to hide her fear but her body didn’t seem to want to obey as she shuddered and shook, taking hesitant steps farther into the dark, abandoned alley. Her voice grew quiet as she softly called out for her companion, getting weaker and weaker as she received no answer. Where was he? 

Star was starting to question if she had gone the wrong way, when she heard something behind her and her heart leapt in joy. “Marco!” she called hopefully. 

But her hopes were dashed as a pair of rough looking street dogs emerged from the shadows. Their fur was matted and dirty, their faces set in permanent snears, while their eyes burned with both hunger and anger in equal intensity, everything about them gave Star the creeps and she found herself backing away from them as they approached. They blocked Star’s only exit out of the alley, living her trapped with these vile creatures... alone. 

“Well look what we have here,” one of the dog’s said, the disgust in his tone clear and Star noticed there was a piece missing from his left ear. “A prissy pet has wandered into our territory.” 

Star shrank under the intense gaze, keeping herself as low to the ground as she could, trying to look as non-threatening as possible in the hopes they would leave her alone. But that seemed to be wishful thinking. 

“What’s the matter, little lady, wander away from your humans or did they throw you out on the streets like the rest of us?” the dog said again, clearly the leader. 

Star felt a sudden burst of anger at the comment and held her head high as she responded critically, “Perhaps if you weren’t so ugly or rude you would have a chance to live outside of the gutter. But it seems you two are exactly where you belong.” 

The two dogs just stared at her stunned for a second, not sure how to respond to the harsh criticism and Star felt a small burst of pride for standing up for herself. However, this quickly turned to regret as the dogs let out deep guttural growls, their faces filled with fury and Star instantly wished she hadn’t provoked them. 

“Well it seems the princess has quite a bark on her,” the lead dog said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and envy. He slowly stalked closer and Star backed away nervously, only to run into a large wooden fence, trapping her and leaving her at the mercy of these vicious creatures. Both hounds sneared at their prey’s helpless predicament, clearly enjoying Star’s looks of panic and quivering body, her fur practically standing on end. They moved torturously slowly, playing with their victim as they savored her terror. “Let’s see if your bite is just as sharp,” the lead dog growled. 

With that he sprang towards her, jaw opened wide, his fangs ready to sink into flesh and fur and Star screamed, turning her head away and squeezing her eyes shut so she didn’t have to see her own death. But at the last second, something flew over the fence, a flash of brown descending quickly and landing between Star and the street dogs, slamming into the attacking leader and knocking him to the ground. 

Star hesitantly peaked open an eye only for them to widen in surprise as she saw the determined, brash form of Marco now standing protectively in front of her. He was lowered to the ground in a defensive stance, the nails of his claws digging slightly into the smooth tile, looking ready to attack at any second. His ears were lowered in a threatening manner and his face had contorted into a chilling snarl, baring his fangs at the rival dogs, a deep growl echoing from his throat. Star’s mouth hung open as she stared longingly at Marco, in that moment she couldn’t think of anything more beautiful than the sight of her friend coming to her rescue. Her heart was beating violently in her chest but if it was out of fear or love Star couldn’t determine, ultimately deciding it was a strange mixture of both somehow. 

“Stay away from her!” Marco barked out in warning and Star felt a chill run through her. This dog before her was nothing like the annoying mutt she had grown to care for. The Marco she knew was all smooth smiles and playful looks, but this dog in front of her… he was a predator at its purest form. His every move, every inflection, every action was focused on one task only- to defend. Star realized she was seeing yet another side of Marco today. The true primitive animal that lay beneath the levels of charm and charisma. And yet, instead of fear, Star only felt herself falling all the harder for her companion. 

Because he was protecting her and that was all that mattered. 

The two dogs were not deterred by Marco’s death-filled glares, instead this only seemed to anger them more as the lead dog scoffed and snapped, “Oh what? Are you seriously going to try and tell me you are protecting this pet?” 

Marco only growled in response, his eyes narrowing and seeming to scream ‘Just try something I dare you’. 

The lead dog seemed amused by this as his and his partner started to circle around Marco, looking for an opening and Marco watched them wearily. “Didn’t realize you were so soft,” the lead dog taunted. “Can’t believe you would actually risk your life for an outsider. You’re one of us, remember?” 

“I am nothing like you!” Marco barked and that seemed to bring the tension to its boiling point as all at once a fight broke out. 

Star could barely track the flurry of claws and teeth and fur as the hounds mangled one another in any way they could. Marco fought valiantly against his two opponents, sinking his teeth into any patch of fur that drifted too close, while easily dodging out of the way of the others' attacks on him. 

The smaller dog managed to sneak up behind Marco and jumped onto his back, Marco letting out a howl of pain as its sharp fangs bit into flesh. But with a simple kick of his backpaws the other dog went flying, slamming hard into a trashcan and letting out its own yelp of agony.

The lead dog then caught Marco by surprise, as it snapped its jaw around Marco’s left paw, pressing down and drawing blood, staining Marco’s fur red. Marco again let out a cry of pain but was quick to retaliate, using his good paw to slam into the dog’s face, catching him right in the eye and the lead dog yelped and pulled away. 

But the lead dog shrugged off its injury, snarling and going in for the kill, its dripping fangs opened wide as it headed straight for Marco’s throat, ready to tear it out in one motion. But Marco saw the attack coming from a mile away, stepping out of the way and burying his own fangs in the back of the hound’s neck as he passed. He used the momentum to throw the dog across the alley, the vile dog slamming into the same trashcan as his partner, the two now laying in a heap on the ground. 

They recovered slowly, raising their heads as they looked over to their opponent with bleary, pain-filled eyes. Marco towered over them, his eyes flashing with murder as he growled sharply, “Had enough.”

The other dogs lost their nerve, shrinking in fear before the menacing Marco, whimpering nervously as the lead dog muttered, “Okay, okay, fine. You win. You and the pet get off easy, this time. But if I see you in my territory again-”

Marco stepped closer so they were now face to face, his eyes flashing dangerously as he growled, “Oh yeah and what are you gonna do?”

The lead dog struggled to keep a straight face as he backed away from the superior hound, him and his lackey now the ones shaking in fear. Marco let out a sharp sniff before declaring, “Now get out of here before I change my mind and finish what you started!” 

The two dogs didn’t have to be told twice as they ran speedily away, their tails tucked between their legs as they fearfully escaped Marco’s wrath. Star breathed a sigh of relief when the two dogs vanished from view but stared at her friend in concern as his body remained tense and alert. She approached him slowly, reluctantly, afraid he might lash out at her if she made any loud noises but he didn’t. He simply glared off into the distance, his posture threatening and calloused. 

“Marco?” Star whispered anxiously. She didn’t like seeing her friend this way. Now that the danger had passed she wished the annoying but lovable Marco would return to her, seeing him go from a carefree puppy into this wild animal was too much for her mind to comprehend. 

But slowly, cautiously Marco began to relax. His tight muscles loosened and his fur flattened back into place. His posture grew less rigid and more easygoing. His twisted expression melted into a vacant, far-off look and his hardened gaze slowly softened as he turned to address her. Star nearly fainted with relief, Marco still far from his playful self, but it was still much better. 

Marco blinked once as his eyes seemed to focus in on her face and he muttered softly, “Star.” He regarded her for another second, his brown orbs scanning her up and down before he finally added, “You okay?” 

Star nodded dumbly, not sure she could produce words right now, her throat tight from the terrifying ordeal. Marco gave her a worried look but sighed in relief saying, “Thank goodness. I was worried those jerks might have hurt you.”

“Do you…” Star began, before reconsidering, wanting to word this correctly to avoid upsetting her friend. “Does that happen… often?”

“What, the fights?” Marco asked, an eyebrow slowly raising. 

Star nodded, before explaining, “You seemed like it wasn’t your first.”

Marco scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Well to be fair, that was hardly what I would call a fight. Those two idiots had no idea what they were doing. I’ve been in way tougher scrapes then-” Marco cut himself off when he noticed Star’s eyes widening. He quickly corrected himself, plastering on a forced smile, “Uhh, I mean, it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’m as tough as they come, Star.”

“I-I see,” Star muttered, not sure what else to say. Life on the streets must be hard if this experience was anything to go by and she wanted to cry as she imagined all the times Marco must have been hurt or scared. While she was busy living it up in a house where her every need was cared for, he was busy trying to stay alive. 

Marco, almost as if reading her thoughts, suddenly told her in a calm, even tone, “Hey, don’t worry about me, I love living on the streets even if things are a little rough sometimes. Life out here isn’t all bad, I swear. That just.. wasn’t the best example.” Marco rolled his eyes before adding, “I just can’t believe those mutts would attack you like that! If I ever see them again I’ll-” His gaze hardened and a low growl echoed in his throat as he thought of the two attack dogs.

Star quickly cut in before her friend could lose himself to his anger, blurting out, “No, no, I’m fine, really! They didn’t do anything to me! Although that’s mostly thanks to you.” She blushed slightly at this but gave him a bright smile. “Thank you, by the way, for saving me.”

“No problem, princess,” Marco replied, a cheery grin lighting up his face. “What kind of friend would I be if I let you get killed on your first trip into town?”

Star giggled slightly as she added playfully, “Oh yeah, is that more of a third trip kind of thing orrrr-”

Marco laughed and Star felt her heart thump against her chest at the sweet sound. “I see this experience hasn’t hurt your witty comebacks at all,” he said, giving her a knowing look.

“You wish,” Star replied with a teasing grin.

Marco opened his mouth to say something else, moving towards her in emphasis, but instead hissed in pain, cringing as his left paw touched the ground. Star’s eyes widened in concern and she asked worriedly, “What’s wrong?” 

The street dog lifted his hurt paw up, cringing in pain, and that’s when she saw the damage the two dogs had done to him. Blood was dripping from the wound, staining his fur red, and it hurt Star just looking at it. “Oh my gosh, are you okay?!” she shouted, moving closer to properly inspect the wound.

“But Marco quickly brushed off Star’s concern, telling her in a slightly strained tone, “I’m fine. It’s just a scratch is all.”

Star gave him a doubting look. “Are you sure? It looks pretty bad.”

“Nah, just gotta walk it off is all,” he said, before flashing a wide, goofy grin in her direction. Star felt her heart go out to her friend, her stomach churning slightly with guilt over him getting hurt protecting her. He was clearly more hurt than he was letting on and Star wanted desperately to help him in some way. She wanted to repay him for what he had done for her, some small token of her gratitude. And this seemed like the simplest way of doing that. 

She scanned her brain, thinking hard for an idea, when suddenly a thought popped into her head. She smiled softly to herself before turning her head as far around as it could. Marco watched her curiously as she shook her head back and forth a few times, finally managing to grab a loose end with her teeth, before she slowly pulled it loose. The bow came undone, the ribbon now hanging loosely in her mouth and she carried it over to her friend’s paw. She carefully began wrapping the stretch of cloth over Marco’s injured paw as the street dog stood there in stunned silence.

It took a bit of time, having to use her nose, paw, and teeth to tie the make-shift bandage into place, but slowly, meticulously she managed to wrap up the wound. And with a final tug on the ribbon, Star let go, moving back to admire her work.

Marco stared down at the ribbon in confusion, before looking back up at her, a tenderness in his eyes that did all kinds of crazy things to Star’s heart. “Why did you do that?” he asked, looking so baffled that Star almost laughed out loud at the strange expression.

“Well, I had to stop the blood somehow,” she replied instead. “It was dripping all over the pavement.”

“No, I mean, your pretty bow, you kinda just ruined it,” Marco said, his voice hushed. “Wasn’t this important to you?”

Star shook her head. “You needed it more than I did,” she replied simply. “Besides Eclipsa and Globgor can always get me a new one.”

Marco’s eyes flooded with deep affection, a fondness that went so much deeper than he seemed to be able to comprehend, and Star knew without a doubt she was finally seeing the whole Marco. There was a longing there, a need for companionship that he had been starved of for so long, but also slight fear, like he was afraid to give himself away to her, his guarded heart opening up just a little wider to let her in. And from the way his eyes roamed over her face, it was like he was seeing her for the first time. 

And honestly, Star understood all of this, because she was feeling it herself. 

But instead of trying to run from this feeling, she embraced it, welcoming it openly. Because she liked this feeling and she didn’t want it to stop. She wanted it to be a part of her and she hoped that Marco wanted that, too.

After a few awkward minutes of gawking at each other in silence, the spell was broken not by one of the dogs but by a car horn from the street outside the alley, the loud noise causing both of them to jump and bringing them crashing back to reality. Star shook her head, before staring up at the darkening sky, declaring nervously, “Oh no, it’s getting late. I should probably get back to the house.”

Marco nodded in agreement, although he seemed disappointed at this news. “Yeah, that would be best, I guess.” He turned to lead her out of the alley, his tail hanging limply between his legs and his ears lowered in sadness. “Come on, princess. I’ll walk you back.” 

Star stared back at him in sympathy before rushing to catch up, not wanting to risk being separated from him… again. She walked with him side by side, staring at his depressed face for a few seconds before saying softly, “Uh, hey. Thanks for bringing me along. Sorry for the trouble I caused you.”

Marco shook his head. “No, no, you aren’t any trouble. I’m just sorry things got so… tense back there. Looks like my efforts to show you the wonders of life off the leash didn’t work out so well, huh? You’ll probably never want to step foot outside your fence after all that.”

“Actually, I had a good time,” Star told him and he turned to her with shock.

“Seriously?” he asked, giving her a disbelieving look.

“Well, okay it got a little crazy and traumatizing there at the end,” she admitted before letting out an involuntary shudder. She gave him a bright grin as she added, “But I’m glad I decided to come with you. I never realized how boring and predictable my life was before. Or just how much I was missing out on. So thank you, for showing me.”

Marco was still giving her an incredulous look, still too dumbfounded for words. And Star found his awkward gawking adorable, adding sweetly, “But maybe next time we can do something a little more relaxing.”

This finally seemed to get Marco’s attention as he asked excitedly, “Next time.” His eyes shimmered with anticipation, his tail starting to wag, once again.

Star nodded. “Mmhmm ‘next time’,” she repeated, giving him a shamelessly flirty grin.

Marco’s eyes flashed mischievously as he declared in a hinting tone, “Well, y’know I do happen to know a little place here in town, if you’re interested.”

“Oh. What did you have in mind?” she asked, giving him a small nudge with her shoulder.

“It’s a nice Italian restaurant. The owners and I go way back and they are also generous with the hand-outs. Their pizzas are okay but their spaghetti is to die for.”

Star giggled, her heart thumping eagerly against her chest. “Sounds perfect.”

“So, pick you up at your place, late tonight? After the owners are asleep.” His eyes were full of hope and joy and so many emotions at once that it almost made Star ache. He was opening himself up to her again, letting his true self show and Star knew she had to grab on tight. Grab on and never let go. 

Because if she was being honest with herself, life with Marco was what living was really all about. 

“It’s a date.”

[onebadwinter]

The Joker Tropes Part 2

Taken From Here and here

Nether Realm Studios especially seems to love making Joker out to be evil incarnate. In Injustice: Gods Among Us and its sequel, he loses all his cred (and life) once he nukes Metropolis; Harley ditches him entirely, Batman just completely gives up on indulging him any more, even Guest Fighters like Hellboy consider him worthless, and non-Batvillains such as Grodd and Brainiac and even Darkseid loathe him for either Metropolis, or just in general principle. Mortal Kombat 11 shows that even the MK cast see him as a scourge upon the realms, and also express distaste toward him for either his nuking, a previous outing, or because he's seen as a buffoon who cannot be taken seriously (this is usually the case for other villain characters).

About the only person who can tolerate him for long is Lex Luthor, only because they both have the same level of hatred for their respective enemies. Even then, Luthor prefers to keep his distance from the Joker, if only because a bored Joker screws with everything For the Evulz.

In the animated series, he claims to have been beaten as a child when interviewed by Harley Quinn. It is unknown if this is true. According to Batman, he's simply making it up.

In one issue of New 52, he claims to have been driven insane by an abusive grandmother, who also bleached his skin to its present pallor.

In the same continuity, he is one to a baby gorilla he adopts, trains up as a gun-wielding henchman, and ultimately gets killed off for laughs.

In the comic book adaptation of Injustice, it's implied Harley fears Joker would be one, and gives their daughter to her sister, lest he kill the child. It's left ambiguous whether the Joker's even aware of the ruse.

Averted in one story, wherein one of Arkham's doctors realizes Joker's faking insanity just to piss off Batman as revenge for his disfigurement. Another doctor finds the report and excitedly reveals it to the current head doctor, only to learn that  the Joker left it for everyone to read, since the paper's written by Harley Quinn, and therefore worthless as evidence.

In Batman: The Man Who Laughs, it's established that the name "The Joker" was given to him by the media, and he liked it so much that he decided to call himself that.

The same happens in Joker (2019), where Murray tells the audience to "look at this joker" when talking about Arthur. Arthur took it to heart.

Batman: Arkham Knight takes this even further by revealing that being forgotten is the only thing the Joker truly fears.

Just to demonstrate how much disregard he has for his henchmen, a reoccurring motivation for offing his own lackeys is failing to laugh at one of his jokes. Or laughing too late. Or laughing for too long. Or laughing at the wrong joke. He's... unpredictable.

The Joker loves it when people laugh with him, whether genuine or not, but if someone laughs at him, they're most likely already dead.

Joker loves attention and being above the normals, so never imply that he's not interesting or unique. Terry exploits this flaw in Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker just to drive him to a Villainous Breakdown.

The Batman Who Laughs. Since the character's first appearance in Dark Nights: Metal, the mere mention of him is enough to put The Joker in an uncharacteristically un-jolly mood and is a good way to get on his bad side. In fact, the dislike of this twisted version of his archnemesis is so great, that when Lex Luthor and The Legion of Doom started cooperating with him against Joker's protests, he quit the legion (after non-lethally jokerizing every other member of it) in disgust.

If you're going to hurt Batman, do it right. One of the supplementary stories for Joker War had him beyond furious with Bane - to the point of promising him he'd kill him in a way he would never see coming - for showing so little imagination in killing Alfred in City of Bane without even letting Batman listen to it to torture him. By his reckoning, if you have a great gag to break the Bat, use it to break the Bat - don't blow it by having Robin be the only one to witness it.

Originally Conrad Veidt from The Man Who Laughs.

Later portrayals base themselves on his actors, with Cesar Romero a popular candidate, and after Jack Nicholson came in, artists such as Alex Ross base him on him, such as the actor's distinct widow's peak and slicked back hair.

During Knightfall he and Scarecrow killed several members of a SWAT team, and one of his last actions in Batman: No Man's Land was to kill Commissioner Gordon's second wife, Lt. Sarah Essen.

One of the alternate realities seen in Zero Hour! was one where he killed Commissioner Gordon instead of crippling Barbara.

Part of the reason Gordon takes over the post of Commissioner in both The Dark Knight Trilogy and Batman: Arkham Series is due to the Joker killing Gillian Loeb. Additionally, the first game in the latter series, Asylum, he sees several of Arkham's guards killed by him and his men.

He's holding a dead cop's corpse in his intro in Injustice: Gods Among Us and using it as a puppet. He also talks to the body of one of the Regime enforcers who captured him once he breaks out and heads to Gotham.

Whether he was driven insane or was already insane and became completely bonkers.

Where he is on the spectrum between "wacky prankster" and "utterly depraved and sadistic sociopath and murderer".

Whether he is a senseless, performative terrorist wreaking havoc for kicks or a deceptively cunning and competent criminal mastermind. Or both. Usually both.

He's no Batman, but sometimes he is a proficient hand-to-hand combatant, Knife Nut or marksman, and other times a flimsy wimp who goes down in one punch. In some of the grittier settings, his raw strength, numbness to pain and viciousness are enough to level the playing field with Batman.

Whether he actually loves Harley Quinn varies. In the animated series, (where Harley first appeared) the writers haveoutright said he's a sociopath incapable of loving anyone, and just sees her as a useful mook. Some other works imply he really does love her on some level (although he's usually still an abusive asshole.)

He can either be Faux Affably Evil, Laughably Evil, just a Monster Clown, or some combination of the three.

At least one such incident implied he would be interested in Batman... but only after he was dead. Again this may only have been a tactic to get under Batman's skin or truthful admission. The readers will never know for certain.

His plot in The Killing Joke is to put Jim Gordon through the wringer hard in the hopes of driving him mad. He'll also try to drive Batman over the edge (particularly, drive him to break his "no killing" rule), sometimes by cutting off all of Batsy's human connections.

The Dark Knight reworks it into Driving Gotham To Senseless Violence with wanton acts of destruction or terrorism, just to prove everyone's as bad as him deep down.

Ironically, a 1952 story has the Joker get himself falsely committed to an insane asylum, to question a patient who knew the location of a cache of money. The end of the story has him Laughing Mad due to a prank Batman used to disguise his identity.

He didn't have his signature laugh. This seems to have been a way to "goofy up" the character to make him less terrifying in the days of the Comics Code Authority. Later on, he'd learn to giggle while remaining terrifying.

He actually committed crimes for moneynote , and wasn't really interested in causing chaos or terror for a joke's sake.

Building off of that, his plans weren't really "insane" until the Silver Age (at which point it's not even fair to say this was exclusive to him), nor was there any question of the character's mental stability.

His obsession with Batman wasn't there, much less the idea that he would pass up chances to kill the Bat or learn his identity. This aspect was probably introduced to explain the Bond Villain Stupidity he (and every Batman villain) had become infamous for in the Silver Age.

His clown-like complexion was actually makeup in his early appearances. He even removed his makeup to disguise himself as a cop, which was referenced in The Dark Knight. It's later revealed that the look is permanent after falling in a vat of chemicals.

The Brave and the Bold #111 and #191 have him team up with Batman to clear his name after being framed for several murders. The first instance turned out to simply be a framing the guilty part occasion but the second instance was actually genuine on Joker's part (except the person Joker seemingly murdered turned out to be faking their death).

He also does this with Batman whenever The Batman Who Laughs is involved (specifically in the Dark Knights: Metal series).

He abruptly ends a partnership with Red Skull when his Nazi affiliation comes out. Red Skull simply wonders why he is so surprised when he thinks that the Joker would make a great Nazi. The Joker is NOT happy about this, proclaiming "I may be a criminal lunatic, but I'm an American criminal lunatic!" It even provides the trope's image. And yes, folks, even an equal-opportunity murderer like the Joker despises the Nazis!note

The exception is mentioned again in the Last Laugh arc where the Joker immediately refused to join the American Neo-Nazi Aryan Alliance group in the Slab after he was offered membership. Joker: I'm evil and all that, but you guys are just plain mean.

Will not harm dumb animals and doesn't condone it. There's no humor to be had in that. Higher primates apparently do not qualify but a lot more effort went into that one.

While in Arkham with villain Warren White, AKA the Great White Shark, Joker calls him the worst person he ever met. He states that while he may kill people, even he doesn't steal their kids' college funds.

Sees nothing funny about someone parking in a handicap spot when they're not handicapped. However, he does think it's hilarious to hurt them in ways that will make certain they'll always be able to park there.

A girl named Janey Bennett, whose class was studying criminal behavior, became pen pals with the Joker while he was in Arkham. When Janey revealed that her father, the mayor of Motor City, was abusing her (exactly how isn't specified, though it was implied to have been really bad) the Joker broke out and, convinced that the authorities would be of no help, tried to force the mayor into admitting to his crimes and giving him Janey (so that he could find a better home for her) by threatening to contaminate the city's blood supply, going through with it (because the ends justify the means) when the mayor refused to give in to his demands. He originally intended to give her to Batman as well so he could protect her but at the end decided to give her to her mom. Joker: I mean, stealing a city blind is something I can admire... but being mean to one's own daughter... that just makes my blood boil.

For a rather literal form of "standard", the Joker's team-up with Carnage in Spider-Man and Batman: Disordered Minds fell apart in part because the Joker, known for his love of theatrics, found Kasady's desire to get straight to killing boring. Conversely, Kasady didn't like the Joker's flair for theatrics.

The Joker absolutely loathes The Batman Who Laughs, to the point where he drops his usual joking demeanor and is deathly serious whenever directly referring to him, even willing to work together with Batman to face him when it comes down to it. When Lex Luthor goes behind his back to make a deal with The Batman Who Laughs (going against the only condition Joker has for joining his plan), Joker responds by Joker-gassing the Legion of Doom, putting Lex into a series of deathtraps, trashing Lex's Power Armor, and quitting the Legion. In the process, he tells Luthor how he had planned on ruining the Legion utterly on the verge of victory, and as nightmarish as his plan sounded, he claims it is nothing compared to what the Batman Who Laughs is going to do.

While he still gloated about it and found Commissioner Gordon kneecapping him funny after remember that he'd crippled Barbara, the actual act of killing Sarah Essen in the penultimate issue of Batman: No Man's Land is one of the few times the Joker wasn't happy with something he himself did, considering he's seen walking away while scowling afterward, leaves the babies he originally planned to murder unharmed and immediately turns himself in to the police.

Emperor Joker sees the Joker disgusted with a corrupted Jimmy O Lsen tormenting the Superfamily and Batman when they're turned int animals.

Later one he is disgusted when his minions vandalize the Moai on Eastern Island.

Again, when he rescues Lex from The Batman Who Laugh's infected minions in Hell Arisen, the mere mention of his alternate universe rival prompts him to have a very uncharacteristic Freak Out. The Joker: I told you. I told you not to deal with him. You should have shot that thing in the head the second you had it in a cage! It is wrong. It is a wrong thing.

Played more straight in his relationship with Punchline. Only time will tell if it lasts.

There’s also a comic storyline when Hush informed that a dirty cop Office Halmet killed his wife Jeannie. The Joker wanted nothing more than to kill said cop in revenge. Then there’s Batman: Three Jokers where, despite it being being heavily implied he was abusive, the “Comedian” Joker is seen setting up fake tea parties with dolls, clearly trying to substitute them for his wife and child showing that he does miss them and desire to be a family with them.

While The Dark Knight is one of the few times the Joker's clown-like appearance is the result of make-up, he does sport a Glasgow Grin.

While Joker still has the permanent clown look, it's combined with the Glasgow Grin.

While Batman: Endgame would see the skin of his face restored with a chemical called Dionesiumnote , at the start of The New 52, the Joker had the Dollmaker skin his face and then, after he recovered it, spent Death of the Family wearing it like a Leatherface-esque mask. And even in Endgame, his restored face ends up badly burned as the result of the finale battle between him and Batman, though it still ends up restored again.

Gotham sees neither Valeska escape this. After his death in season 2, Jerome (the proto-Joker) ends up resurrected in season 3, but because Dwight thinks his attempt to revive him failed, Dwight ends up cutting off Jerome's face ala Death of the Family and Jerome ends up stapling it on when he catches up with Dwight and while he later has it properly reattached, there's still scars from what happened. Jeremiah, Jerome's twin and the show's true Joker, ends up with the "perma-clown" appearance due to Jerome having the Scarecrow brew something up to spray in Jeremiah's face, but season 5 sees his fateful fall at Ace Chemicals badly scar his face and sear off most of his hair with only stringy patches left.

Averted entirely in Joker (2019), where his clown appearance is entirely makeup, and the worst it gets is painting his iconic smile on his face with his own blood from a car crash. Not even a Glasgow Grin or anything, the blood is from his hand and his face only has a few normal cuts on it.

While Batman is a rather serious character who refuses to kill anyone, The Joker is a rather comical character who revels in death.

Joker's gadgets tend to be rather goofier but much more lethal, such as the Joker Venom that he often uses to kill his victims.

While Batman gets along well with his sidekicks Robin and Batgirl, Joker frequently abuses his sidekick Harley Quinn and has tried to kill her before, not to mention all the times he has been a Bad Boss by killing his henchmen for any reason you can think of, sometimes for no reason at all.

While Batman's backstory is well known, even by the citizens of Gotham who know of the tragedy of the rich Waynes' in Crime Alley, no one knows anything about the Joker's backstory, but most versions he tells are consistent in two things: he was a nobody, and possibly someone poor.

In most adaptations, his voice is high-pitched in contrast to Batman's Badass Baritone.

Why he went by the name the Red Hood has changed over the years: The Killing Joke claims he was a failed comedian driven to crime to support his pregnant wife. The trauma of his disfigurement from jumping in the acid and his wife's earlier accidental death drove him insane. However, even this backstory is questionable, as the Joker himself calls it "multiple choice".

In Injustice 2, an intro with Atrocitus has the Red Lantern wondering what drove the Joker to nihilism.

In the animated series, he claims to have been abused as a child when interviewed by Harley, but according to Batman, it's just another ruse to escape Arkham.

The purple suit and matching pants with either an orange and/or green shirt with a bowtie or tie, remains the definitive Joker look one that many artists and costume designers have given spin on. He is sometimes known for wearing a cool hat but other times goes hatless. Heath Ledger's custom-designed purple long-coat, trousers, blue shirt and green Waistcoat of Style with a tie has likewise become iconic and famous for its contemporary and downright stylish update on the classic look.

The original Red Hood outfit which is a black suit, white shirt, bowtie with an opera cap and a bizarre red dome is also quite famous.

The Hawaiian tourist outfit he wore in the notorious scene in The Killing Joke.

The white suit he wears in Miller's The Dark Knight Returns as well as the white nurse maid outfit with red wig in The Dark Knight is also quite notable.

The Future Joker look from Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker which went with a mime look (black body suit, slicked-back hair) is also quite distinct and unique.

The first issue of Batman with Joker's debut has him described as having "burning, hate-filled eyes" and the moniker, "the harliquin of hate".

The Man Who Laughs had Bruce dosed with a light version of the Joker Venom and he felt his perspective shift into a paranoid vengeance were he felt everyone deserved to be punished for his parent's death just for existing.

Death of the Family had Batman describe how Joker's irises are always narrow when looking at anyone but Batman and that it is usually an indication of negative feelings toward something with Bruce mentioning that his eye are the eyes of someone who hates everything he sees.

In the Justice League storyline "Rock of Ages", Martian Manhunter has to put in incredible effort to reorganize Joker's mind long enough for him to give up the cataclysmic Philosopher's Stone. The briefly sane Joker immediately says My God, What Have I Done? verbatim as he hands it back, before quickly losing his mind and going back to the laughing madman.

The famous example from the end of The Killing Joke, where Batman tries to convince him to allow Batman to rehabilitate him before their vendetta kills them. Joker considers it for a long, somber moment before quietly reflecting that they're both too far gone.

Batman: Cacophony ends with Joker being pumped full of an inhuman amount of antipsychotic drugs to keep him under control while in recovery from a near-fatal stabbing. Batman takes the opportunity to have a relatively-sane conversation with him, though it's somewhat subverted by Joker still being a homicidal sociopath even while heavily sedated.

He even gives multiple reasons on how he came Back from the Dead in Injustice 2 and will go along with whatever his opponent thinks is true, despite being Dead All Along in story mode and only appearing as a hallucination to his ex-moll.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns sees him kill David Endochrine and Ruth Weisenheimer, who were clearly based on David Letterman and Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

During Knightfall, once he realizes that Azrael isn't Batman, his plan's gone to hell, and one too many criticisms from Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert stand-ins, he kills the stand-ins.

In one of the issues for the The Batman tie-in comic, The Batman Strikes, he terrorizes a stand-in for Conan O'Brien. This becomes darkly Hilarious in Hindsight as the real O'Brien voiced Endochrine in the animated version of Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. In the series proper, Harley's debut had the two of them terrorize a stand-in for Dr. Phil for the climax.

If you want to know how truly terrifying The Batman Who Laughs is, look no further than the way Joker acts whenever discussing him. He doesn't laugh, he doesn't smile. He becomes calm and serious and simply tells whomever he's talking to that the TBWL is "a wrong thing that shouldn't exist". Someone HAS to be scary if the very thought of him makes Joker act like a calm rational sane person.

In Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, the clown has a massive Villainous Breakdown when Terry mocks him for his failed attempts to break Batman.

On the rare occasion Joker gets bored and leaves Gotham, expect everyone to think of him as just a silly clown, until the bodies start piling up.

One issue of the Robin Series had him talking about having Abusive Parents, only for a psychiatrist to tell him it's the seventh story he's told now.

Batman lampshades on this to Harley in the animated series, thinking it's another lie to gain sympathy.

The Killing Joke claims he was a failed comedian driven to crime to support his pregnant wife. The trauma of his disfigurement and his wife's earlier accidental death drove him mad. However, even this could be a lie, as he himself calls it "multiple choice".

It's even discussed in Injustice 2, as Atrocitus wonders what drove the Joker to nihilism. Despite only appearing as a hallucination to Harley in story mode, he spews out multiple theories for his Unexplained Recovery and will say Sure, Let's Go with That in non-canon fights. Was he resurrected by someone, or is he from another universe? Did he escape from either the Source Wall or the Phantom Zone, or is he just an apparition?

Shadow of the Bat #38, Tears of a Clown: He celebrates his anniversary of the day he was a still sane, but hapless comedian, and was thrown out of an exclusive Stand-Up Comedy club for an unfunny act the patrons mercilessly heckled. It was the last straw as he agreed to provide to his family by pulling a job for the Red Hood gang. So he kidnaps all the patrons and reenacts his act with control collars that will kill them when they laugh. Oddly enough, the patrons are hardcore Stand-Up Comedy fans, so they can't remember the number of times they've booed someone. However, even this origin story could be a lie.

It's come to be his primary disfigurement over the original skin bleaching.

In Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, Terry McGinnis exploits this by delivering an epic Boring Insult so the clown will have a Villainous Breakdown.

King Barlowe proved to be a big one in his Thanatos Gambit in the episode "Joker's Millions" of The New Batman Adventures. In a spiteful Video Will, he gives the clown his millions, revealing in his tape that most of it was fake. Expecting the clown to splurge on it, he won't have enough to pay off the IRS, allowing Barlowe to get the "last laugh" after his death, without the Joker coming after him.

Alan Moore's "I go Loony" from The Killing Joke, an in-panel song-and-dance tune that was eventually made into an actual song belted out in Batman: The Killing Joke.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold has "Where's the Fun in That?" from the episode "Emperor Joker".

Batman: Arkham City ended with him covering The Platters' "Only You (and You Alone)", Batman: Arkham Origins had him cover Hank Williams' "Cold, Cold, Heart" and Batman: Arkham Knight had him provide an original composition, "Can't Stop Laughing".

Action Fashionista: This incarnation of the Joker has a wide variety of garish outfits for every occassion — most of them straight from the comics.

Adaptational Attractiveness: Metal teeth, lack of eyebrows, and tattoos aside, he's still being played by the youthful-looking real life Pretty Boy Jared Leto; especially since the last two cinematic Jokers were a creepy middle-aged gangster with a botched face-lift and a filthy, scarred vagrant (even the mentally unwell clown-for-hire doesn't scream Mr. Fanservice one bit). This version looks more like Marilyn Manson.

Adaptational Nice Guy: A very downplayed example. While he's otherwise the same Clown Prince of Crime we all know and love to hate, he appears to genuinely care for Harley, and even throws her out of a falling helicopter to save her life. Almost any other iteration of the Joker would do that to save his own skin or rid himself of her.

Adaptational Skimpiness: This version of the Joker tends to be shirtless a lot more than he has in any other medium. It mostly seems like an opportunity to show off his tattoos.

Adaptation Distillation: Leto's Joker seems to be less of the "evil philosopher" that Heath Ledger portrayed him as in The Dark Knight, and instead seems to be a cross between the garish, larger-than-life Mark Hamill version from the animated series and the Arkham games, and the creepy, deeply twisted Brian Azzarello version. David Ayer had also stated that he looked specifically to the Golden Age Joker for reference, providing reason for many to believe that Leto's Joker is a modern re-imagining of that incarnation.

Advertised Extra: Heavily featured in Suicide Squad promotional materials, barely appears in the film for more than seven minutes. According to Jared Leto, several of the scenes he shot were not included in the theatrical cut.

Ambiguous Disorder: In Suicide Squad, most of the time the Joker seems... not all there compared to Harley. In addition of psychopathic tendencies, the Joker has random bouts of maniacal laughter, confusion, and slurred speech-like patterns. All attributes that stem from punch-drunk syndrome. Considering he has faced Batman one too many times, it makes sense that the Joker's mental stability is finally catching up to him.

However, come Birds of Prey, they broke up, mirroring the comics where they do have an Relationship Revolving Door. It appears to stick, as Harley publicly calls it quits between the two of them.

His tattoos are very reminiscent of the Joker in All Star Batman and Robin.

Ax-Crazy: Like all the incarnations before him, calling him a violent psychopath is one of the biggest understatements you can make.

Bedlam House: Spent some time at Arkham Asylum, where he met Harley. Then he broke free from it with the help of both Harley and his gang.

Chewing the Scenery: An important part of the character is his theatricality.

Cool Car: A bright purple sports car with underglow lights and a "HAHAHA" license plate.

Dented Iron: It's subtle, but the numerous scars on his body and metal replacement teeth in his mouth are clear signs that his frequent run-ins with Batman are taking their toll.

Disney Death: He seemingly dies in the crash of his helicopter... only to come back to free Harley from her high security prison at the end of Suicide Squad.

The Dreaded: In true Joker fashion, everyone is terrified of him.

Establishing Character Moment: One that takes place before he even makes his official debut in the setting - he killed Robin (a minor) and vandalized his outfit to mock Batman over his inability to save him.

Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Insofar as much as the Joker can love anyone, anyway, but he does seem to genuinely care about Harley. Eventually, subverted.

Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: He considers the brutal murder of a minor as a joke he played on Batman. When he's torturing Harleen Quinzel, he promises not to shatter her well-kept teeth while flashing his own hideous metal dentures. When Harleen later has him at gunpoint, Joker just says "please don't kill me, I'll be ya friend" in a snarky tone.

Evil Is Hammy: It's not The Joker if he's not Chewing the Scenery. And, sure enough, he does.

Evil Is Petty: The graffiti on Robin's costume seems to imply that Joker murdered him just to prod at Batman. It is confirmed in Suicide Squad that Joker and Harley killed him.

Evil Laugh: It's kind of his thing. One notable example is when he chuckles while surrounded by an arsenal of weapons.

Fake Shemp: Indie rocker Johnny Goth stood in for Jared Leto in Birds of Prey, in the flashback where he and Harley torture and tattoo the big mafia thug Harley later bumps back into.

Foil: To Batman as usual, but with some new additions. After 20 years, Batman became more jaded and cruel, while the Joker somewhat mellowed out and his criminal activity became more professional. Batman didn't settle down until the death of Superman while the Joker grew attached to Harley Quinn.

In Suicide Squad Griggs' smug indifference about his gambling debt immediately becomes pure terror when he realizes the Joker has gotten involved.

He is so feared that even the likes of Black Mask would rather steer clear of him. Harley's enemies only start gunning for her in Birds of Prey when it's become clear that she's no longer with him.

   G-Y

The Ghost:

There is an allusion to him in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice ("HA HA HA Joke's On You, Batman" painted across the chest of the dead Robin's empty suit in the Batcave), but he doesn't actually appear.

He gets mentioned a lot in Birds of Prey, but he's only seen very briefly in some flashbacks, always from the back (including footage from Suicide Squad). There is a whole Deleted Scene where he and Harley have a domestic dispute. Harley leaves the house through the window and the Joker throws her stuffed beaver out through the window. In the film proper, she's just kicked out of the house, with no shot of Mr. J.

Greater-Scope Villain: His role in Batman v Superman. Despite not actually appearing his murder of Robin by this point has driven Batman down a darker, more vengeful path that goes against Batman's traditional moral code; the one that the Joker is always trying to prove is wrong. Batman's rage towards Superman blinds him to the possibility of Lex Luthor being the real threat long enough for Superman to die fighting Doomsday. In a way the Joker's actions contributed to Batman's failure.

Guttural Growler: This Joker is noticeably more snarly than previous incarnations.

Handshake Refusal: He doesn't like to shake hands, as Monster T finds out.

Hell-Bent for Leather: Wears a purple crocodile skin duster at some point in the film.

Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Despite being a homicidal sociopath, he seems to truly love his girlfriend Harley Quinn. Then in Birds Of Prey, he coldly and violently breaks up with her.

Joker Immunity: He appears to die when his helicopter is shot down about halfway through Suicide Squad. To absolutely no one's surprise, he shows up alive and well in the final scene. It helps that he's the Trope Namer.

Knife Nut: And by God, does he have enough blades.◊

Lean and Mean: This Joker, while muscular, is quite lean, especially compared to the heavily muscled Batman.

Love Epiphany: Well, "love" is pushing it, but Joker realizes his affections for Harley when she dives in the chemical bath that ultimately turned Joker into what he is. Symbolic in the sense she was agreeing to join him in madness. Further adding to the complexity of the scene; Joker was tying up a loose end, having used Harley to escape from Arkham. He lead her to her demise and intended to leave her for death but at the same moment realized she had entered his world and his madness. Joker never anticipated the amount of utter devotion Harley would have for him, something inside him just couldn't walk away from her, so he jumped in to save her.

Manipulative Bastard: He manipulated Harley into helping him escape Arkham because she fell in love with him. When she served her purpose, he would have had her kill herself jumping into a bath of chemicals to prove her feelings. He instead saves her from this demise because he has a Love Epiphany in the moment.

Monster Clown: Like the previous film versions, Joker is an Ax-Crazy criminal with clownish makeup. Green hair notwithsanding, his white makeup, red lipstick and absence of facial scars make him look closer to a mime than his predecessors.

Noble Demon: In Suicide Squad, his whole motivation is to rescue Harley Quinn. His commitment is so strong he doesn't even waste time with pranks or petty acts of cruelty. Everything he does is for someone else.

Only Known By His Nickname: He's only known as The Joker, or "J" / "Mr. J".

Outlaw Couple: He and Harley Quinn are lovers and partners in crime.

Sadist: Even though there was only a few select scenes of him, one of them is him torturing Harley. It's disturbingly obvious that he is positively gleeful over it. And he doesn't seem to have lost any sleep over murdering Robin, either.

Pet the Dog: David Ayer confirms that while he did push Harley out of the falling helicopter, his intent was in fact to save her life.

Satellite Love Interest: To Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad. His characterization revolves entirely around Harley, not even getting involved with the main plot.

Scary Teeth: Several of his teeth are made of metal. According to David Ayer, Batman punched his teeth out after he killed Robin, leading him to replace them with metal teeth.

Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Although he has a presence at the start of the film, The Joker appears to have left Gotham City to be controlled by Black Mask in Birds of Prey, with Roman saying that Joker has already skipped town.

The Sociopath: He's chaotic and remorseless, much like his previous versions. Special mention goes to his murder of Robin, which he topped off by spray-painting a cruel taunt for Batman onto the boy's costume.

Tattooed Crook: His torso is covered in jester-themed tattoos. He also has a few on his arms and face.

Villain of Another Story: He mainly appeared in Suicide Squad, but his biggest act of villainy to date — killing Robin — happened some years before Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, in which he doesn't appear. The spray-painted message on Robin's empty suit ("Ah ah ah joke's on you Batman!") in the latter film can't be anything else than his doing.

Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?: Is seen with a rather impressive arsenal of guns and knives. And even says to warden Griggs, at some point, "I can't wait to show you my toys." note Notably, he manages to hijack the gunship which was sent to extract Waller and the squad so he can rescue Harley.

Would Hit a Girl: In the past, the Joker electroshocks and manipulates Dr. Harleen Quinzel into allowing her to fall into a vat of chemicals, in order to become Harley Quinn.

Would Hurt a Child: He killed Batman's sidekick, Robin, while the boy was an underage minor.

You Gotta Have Blue Hair: His hair is bright green.

   "Knightmare" Joker

"You won't kill me. I'm your best friend..." Appearances:

Zack Snyder's Justice League

"You need me. You... need me... to help you undo this world you created, by letting her die."

The Joker meets up once more with Batman in the nightmarish alternate future where Darkseid has conquered the Earth and Superman turned evil. But things aren't the same anymore between the two legendary foes.

See also the Knightmare page for more on that setting's characters.

Break Them by Talking: He deliberately tries to agitate Batman by reminding him of how many people have died on his watch.

Cop Killer: He wears a bulletproof vest with at least two dozens police badges on it. Whether these were good cops killed prior to the apocalypse or servants of the oppressive regime of Superman after the apocalypse is not detailed.

Costume Evolution: He has ditched his garish gangster suits for what looks like either a medical gown or a butcher gown, complete with orange gloves and a bulletproof vest with a dozen police badges pinned on it. He got rid of his "Damaged" forehead tattoo, let his hair grow and put red makeup around his mouth, looking closer to more common depictions of the character.

Enemy Mine: He and Batman had the worst kind of enmity imaginable, but the Earth being conquered by Darkseid is enough of a Conflict Killer for them to call a truce and work together to try undoing this mess.

Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: He utters the line "We live in a society" while gazing upon the devastated landscape in the trailer. This is clearly a Meme Acknowledgement, and it's quite awkwardly used given the context (is there really any society left in this post-apocalyptic world?). It doesn't appear in the actual film, however. The line was improvised by Leto.

Evil Laugh: Even with the world being in such a sorry state and him still being sane enough to acknowledge how bad the situation is, he'll still let some laughs out, even though they sound more subdued than ever.

Evil Versus Oblivion: Even he sees the necessity of teaming up with Batman to try undoing what Darkseid did to Earth.

Future Badass: He survived the apocalypse brought upon Earth by Darkseid and looks like he's geared for guerilla actions.

My Card: He gives a Joker card to Batman as a symbol of their truce. Shall the Dark Knight want to break that truce, he'd just have to tear that card up. The card could be seen strapped on Batman's assault rifle in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: Joker gets a high reminding Batman how costly his mistakes in the past have been.

The Nicknamer: He nicknames Mera "my little fish stick" and Robin "Boy Wonder".

Progressively Prettier: Despite being worse for wear, this Joker is arguably even better looking than his previous appearance, with his over-the-top tattooed gangster image toned down and his androgyny played up. Ironically, this version also more closely resembles the Heath Ledger incarnation.

Thousand-Yard Stare: He has such a stare when looking at the devastated horizon as he starts talking to Batman.

Villain Has a Point: While he’s the one who killed Robin, he gives Batman a minor What the Hell, Hero? for sending “a Boy Wonder to do a man’s job.”

Vocal Evolution: His voice is much softer and higher pitched than it was in Suicide Squad.

[fletchphoenix]

A Boy And His Raccoon

I saw a post by @humangeode and started writing this like,,,as soon as it appeared in my dash so sorry if this seems rushed, I just had to get it out,,,anyway, here!

-----------------------------

  Varian groaned and rolled his eyes as he heard a familiar chitter sound from behind him before a grey and black tail poked out from under the table in the far corner of his lab. He really didn’t need this - after the disaster that was the science expo (which TOTALLY wasn’t his fault, by the way, as Doctor St. Croix had messed with his experiment and increased the pressure, even though he explicitly stated not to) and the extensive clean up process he had to endure as a consequence, he really didn’t have the will to deal with the frequent visitor.

  “Look, buddy...you can’t keep coming back here! My dad won’t let me take care of you.” he muttered, crouching to the raccoon’s level and gathering it in his arms before walking towards the door and dropping it outside. After closing the door behind him, he slumped back into the chair by his desk, intending to continue with planning out his next idea for an invention, however the chittering sounded again and the raccoon sat at his feet once again. Its paws nudged against his feet to get his attention before crawling onto the desk in front of the boy and sitting on his papers. 

  “Hey-get off them! Why are you-why do you keep coming back?” he asked, and at this point he was sick to death of the intruder. He’d kept coming back every night this week, much to Varian’s annoyance, and no matter how many times Varian threw it back out, he’d still keep coming back. He supposed it did make him feel less lonely whenever he’d visit, the raccoon giving them a quaint routine he could always rely on to keep him sane. Varian, nonetheless, rolled his eyes and reached into a drawer, bringing an apple out on display and holding it out to the racoon which took it gratefully and ate it so fast, Varian swore it had just inhaled the thing. “Wow, hungry, aren’t you?” 

  The raccoon chittered once again and scurried up Varian’s arms, taking a seat on his shoulders to seemingly watch him as he planned out the schematics of a new invention - a reimagined design for the boiler system he’d planned on in the tunnels under Old Corona after their..less than desirable test run. His hand reached up absentmindedly as he worked, petting the creature that sat so docile on his shoulders. Maybe the raccoon wasn’t so bad after all...I mean, he was almost certain he could convince his dad to let him keep the animal, and he was old enough now to look after it on his own. Besides, he was long overdue a lab assistant and the raccoon could prove useful in his alchemical endeavours…

  “Okay buddy, I’m gonna propose a deal to you.” he began, and he could swear the raccoon looked at him with it’s interest peaked, moving to sit on the desk and stare at the boy intensely. “You can stay here with me as my pet, BUT you have to earn it! You have to be my lab assistant and you can’t steal things, okay?” He clearly stated. What was he even thinking? It’s not as if the raccoon could understand him-

  To his amazement, the raccoon nodded, moving in circles on the dark oak table before running up his arm and nuzzling it’s head against his cheek with an elated noise escaping its mouth. Varian couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face as he examined the raccoon’s behaviour. “Alright bud, now that you’re part of the family, you’re gonna need a name.” he bit the inside of his cheek in thought, a hand running through his hair as he debated a few names in his head. “How about Ruddiger? Ruddiger the Raccoon?” He knew full well it wasn’t an amazing idea, giving his pet raccoon his last name, but it was the best thing he could think of at that moment. 

  The raccoon, newly named Ruddiger, was very pleased with the name his newly declared owner had given him as evident by him rubbing himself against the boy’s legs before taking its previously established seat on Varian’s shoulders once again. “Alright Ruddiger, I’ll obviously have to show you round the lab and teach you everything...oh! And show you how to make hot cocoa! That drink is honestly the best if you have marshmallows with it! Oh my god you’ll love it!” he paused sheepishly, “Sorry, I’m rambling. Uh...anyway. Obviously that’ll have to be something I show you, and talking to my dad about keeping you, but other than that..welcome to the lab!” he declared, smiling at Ruddiger who simply nuzzled his cheek even more. 

  Varian let out a happy sigh. After all the chaos of today, it felt nice to finally have something good happen. Even though Cassie had given him the first prize ribbon, he knew people would blame the destruction on him..he sighed as soon as the thought appeared in his head. Of course it would be his fault, it always was if one of his inventions went haywire even though this one definitely wasn’t. Still, he brought himself back to the moment and let himself be comforted by his companion. He’d still have to convince his dad who, speak of the devil, had just opened the door to his lab. Almost immediately, his eyes met his son. “No.” he stated, Varian only having time to open his mouth before his dad’s reply came. 

  “But dad, please! I promise I’ll take care of it, and-and it can be my lab assistant! Please dad, just give me a chance to show I can be responsible!” Varian pleaded, Ruddiger’s weight on his shoulders somehow giving him more confidence to stick up to his dad and stand his ground. He wasn’t gonna give up his new best friend without a fight, no matter what Quirin said. 

  Quirin, on the other hand, looked down at his son and the pet on his shoulders, letting out a sigh. He knew his son was lonely, but a raccoon for a pet? Why couldn’t it be conventional like a cat or a dog, something that Quirin knew how to handle. Nevertheless, the look in his son’s eyes was adamant, telling him that he wasn’t going to accept no for an answer. The man let out a tired sigh, ruffling his son’s hair and heading towards the stone stairs to the main section of the house. “You can keep it as long as you promise to take care of him…” he stated as he ascended the stairs, the cheers from his son bringing a wide smile to his face.

  Varian, in the meantime, spun Ruddiger around in his arms, laughing with a wide smile on his face. “YES! Ruddiger, you can stay!” he cheered, bringing the raccoon into an embrace which it promptly scurried out of, only to land on the cobbled floor of the lab. “Follow me!” he declared as he began running upstairs towards his room, stopping on the way to thank his dad and give him a massive hug, before sprinting the rest of the way and shoving open the door to his room.

  It was, admittedly, a huge mess. Research papers littered the floor, the desk and his bed, along with unfinished machinery and a guitar scattered amongst and leaning against the main furniture of the room. Varian didn’t care though, his excitement still building as he created a small bed in the corner of his room for the racoon excitedly. He honestly couldn’t remember being this elated about something in a long time, well, except for meeting Flynn Rider himself, but that was a given anyway, considering how the man was his childhood hero. After finishing the bed, he took a step back and looked at the bundle of blankets and pillows proudly. “Okay buddy, here’s your bed-”

  As Varian turned, his eye caught the sleeping figure of Ruddiger curled up on his bed. Of course the little rascal thought he could sleep there, Varian assumed, but he couldn’t bring himself to move the animal. It just looked so peaceful lying there without a care in the world..so Varian silently changed from his day-to-day clothes to his pyjamas and settled himself in a way that wouldn’t disturb his sleeping lab assistant. “Goodnight, buddy.” he muttered as he slowly drifted off to sleep, happy to finally have a lab assistant and a friend.

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

Meeting.

(my post got flagged??? i’ve never seen writing get flagged before, hopefully it works this time)

Shigaraki x f!Reader (NSFW)

Go to the meeting without your underwear. Wear this ridiculously short and thin skirt that you wouldn’t be caught dead wearing during these winter months. Surely there were no ulterior motives at play here.

Why did you put up with this ridiculous man?

Because you are a shameless slut, you admitted to yourself as you trailed after Tomura, feeling every bit as miserably cold and horny as you thought you would. Your lips were still tingling from how fiercely he had kissed you in the elevator, his hands wandering aimlessly over your body as he shoved his tongue down your throat and grinded against your exposed pussy.

Every so often, your gaze would trail to the noticeable stain on the front of his pants. Tomura merely smirked and avoided any efforts to clean your fluids from his clothing. You couldn’t even admonish him for his behavior or question his motives, because Re-Destro was promptly waiting at the door, ushering you both in with gleeful enthusiasm.

Toga had been the first to comment on your appearance, smiling wolfishly as she teased, ”Wow, I wish I could wear a skirt when it’s so cold.“

“Toga, she’s just trying to look her best for the meeting,” Twice interjected. "A hoe never gets cold!”

A low chuckle escaped Dabi, and you glared at him as you made your way to your place. He merely eyed you up and down and returned to messing around with his computer. Thank goodness Mr. Compress and Spinner had enough tact to save face for your motley of favorite villains.

You tried to show at least some professionalism by greeting the rest of the members. Trumpet politely nodded and Skeptic ignored you altogether. Good, fuck that guy.

Tomura was already sitting down when you sidled up to the empty seat beside him. His expression was so naturally detached that you hadn’t suspected anything, ready to finally take a seat. You would not get that chance — his hand grabbed your wrist and forced you in front of him, and you just barely had enough time to hold your skirt in place before he coaxed your legs on either side of him, gripped your hips, and urged you downward onto his lap. Heat rose to your cheeks as you staunchly avoided everyone’s stares, opting to look back at Tomura in annoyance.

“You told me you were cold earlier, right?” he slyly said, his crimson eyes glimmering with mirth. The coy tone of his voice took on a hint of firmness as he commanded, “Take a seat.”

You hesitated for only a moment before meekly nodding and attempting to settle into his lap. But before you could do so, you jolted at the feeling of something warm and hard suddenly prodding at your entrance.

No fucking way.

You didn’t even have time to react. Tomura’s fingers dug into your hips as he used his strength to bring you down onto his cock in one swift motion, and you could not hold back the gasp that slid past your lips.

Much to your mortification, Trumpet immediately quirked a brow and frowned. “Are you alright?”

Tomura slipped his hand under your skirt and immediately cupped your crotch. “Yes!” you squeaked, your thighs trembling and your cunt pulsing around the thick cock forcing your walls to stretch open to accommodate its girth. Oh God, what the hell were you going to say? You had Tomura’s dick shoved up your pussy in front of the entire Liberation Front! “I — I just, uhm, Tomura’s belt buckle was freezing, th — that’s all!” Holy shit what kind of a pathetic excuse is that?

Your flimsy response earned one or two questioning looks, and that had been the end of that. Re-Destro promptly took the lead with an opening statement, and everyone’s attention had been diverted.

All but one.

“I was feeling cold too, you know,” Tomura whispered into your ear. You could hear the smile in his voice. "You better fix that.”

“You are disgusting,” you whispered back, biting your lip as his cock twitched deep inside you.

Tomura settled back into his seat with casual swagger, looking every bit the uninterested leader as he silently listened to Re-Destro and Spinner discussing plans. He kept his hands hidden beneath your skirt, trailing them along your inner thighs and playing with your outer folds. You were struggling to focus on regulating your breathing, sitting ramrod straight and laying your hands flat on the table to resist the urge to touch Tomura in any capacity. You would not be able to hold back if you touched him, public indecency be damned.

Every so often, Tomura would shift in his seat. His cock rubbed your inner walls and throbbed deliciously against a sweet spot deep inside you. The temptation to grind back into his lap was unbearable, and he did you absolutely no favors by lightly flicking your clit and refusing to stroke it the way you liked. You couldn’t stand his teasing touches whenever he did that, but you were trapped under the social obligation to retain all pretenses of platonic innocence.

Once Hawks made his entrance, Tomura snuck a kiss to the nape of your neck when no one was looking. His warm breath ghosted over your skin and sent a shiver through you. “You’re being so good for me,” he softly murmured. Two fingers from both of his hands stretched you open and firmly massaged your folds. “Should I reward you?”

You did not trust your voice right now. You mustered up a quick nod, and when that hadn’t been enough, you dared to roll your hips and clenched around him. Tomura hummed appreciatively, and you nearly sobbed from relief when he finally stroked your aching clit, rubbing in purposeful motions and wrapping one arm around your waist to hold you down when you were beginning to squirm too much.

You tried to be subtle. You honestly tried. But by the time you reached your first peak, you were sweaty and flushed from head to toe, answering questions directed towards you with harebrained responses. It had become so painfully obvious by then.

Re-Destro took no notice whatsoever, continuing the meeting with animated gusto and an amicable smile. Or perhaps he had noticed a long time ago and simply chose to ignore it. He always did express emphatic support for your amorous relationship with Tomura.

Skeptic, however … that man would be sure to harass you after the meeting when he caught you alone. The death grip on his keyboard and the look of pure, unfiltered disgust told you all you needed to know.

Choke on your rage, idiot, you thought to yourself, and spared him a lewd smile when he locked his furious expression onto you. A thrill shot down your spine when he curled his lip and looked away. Perhaps Tomura knew your dark desires better than you.

You were supremely lucky that Twice did not catch on. He would surely have been unable to keep his brash personality from announcing your state to the rest of the members. Mr. Compress retained a cool facade behind his mask, and Spinner was so invested in his role as defacto representative for the LoV that he refused to acknowledge what was happening. Toga smiled widely and narrowed her eyes at you, fully intent on finding out all the details from you later. And Dabi … you did not look at Dabi. Because you knew he was looking at you.

This situation was a goddamn mess. Even Hawks dared to wink at you before departing. Why the fuck was this meeting still going?

Tomura’s fingers never stopped moving. He would rub slow circles around your clit after you reached your second orgasm, leisurely spreading your combined fluids all over your pussy and thighs before settling back in for another round and increasing his pace. Were you even having an effect on him? You liked to think so, judging by his steadily deepened breathing and the grip on your thigh when you came a third time, pumping up into you once in search of the pulsating rhythm of your cunt.

How he still hadn’t come, you did not know. You could only surmise that he was waiting to fuck you right on the conference table after the meeting concluded.

Your suspicions were confirmed when everyone swiftly shot out of their chairs as soon as Re-Destro announced the end of the meeting, and Tomura was still holding you down.

No one was foolish enough to question it. Everyone shuffled out of the room in short order, with only Twice attempting to ask why you were still sitting when Toga grabbed hold of his arm and sped away with him.

Spinner was the last to leave, nearly out the door before looking over his shoulder with a long-suffering expression. “Can you two be a little less obvious next time?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Tomura brazenly replied, and Spinner rolled his eyes and shut the doors firmly behind him.

You obediently allowed Tomura to press your upper body to the table, keyboard and computer having been roughly shoved out of the way. His cock was still buried deep inside you, and he pulled back nearly to the tip before shoving back into you with a powerful thrust. You keened and arched your back in invitation, whimpering as you felt yet another orgasm fast approaching.

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought of fucking you on this damn table?” Tomura harshly panted as he held you down, his hips snapping against your ass with each thrust. “I want you to remember this. I want you to think about my cock every time we have these stupid meetings from now on.”

Who were you to deny your leader?

[scorpiosanssexy]

hey requesting a roommate matchup! im a sagitarius, enneagram type 4, slytherin house, and i kin shigaraki tomura from MHA. my favorite food is instant cup ramen :), i havent watched any films yet but least favorite anime is garden of words (its good i just didnt like it im sorry ) and math is my least fav. i can cook, but i dont normally. im a night owl, and im not particully messy but it can get out of hand. i draw all the time, n do stickers, etc. my aesthetic is dark academia ngl

Dear User, 

congratulations, we have found you a potential roommate. We have throughly looked through your application and we hope you are happy with your result. Below this post are the details about them. 

Yours Sincerely 

The Accomodation Team

Name: Tendou Satori 

Birthday: 20th May (Gemini)

MBTI: ESTP 

congrats my lovely you have this crackhead as your roommate

i take no responablity for any damage done to your place 

only joking x 

now seeing as your a sagitarius and he is a gemini you too make the chaotic duo, like nothing can stop you when you combine power 

you: you don’t think we will get in trouble for this

tendou: not a chance 

cut to semi scolding you 

like that is your relationship 

also he is a fellow slytherin so you too are always scheming something 

ngl sometimes whenever Goshiki comes and visits he is petrified that something bad is going to happen to him 

but it is apart of your guys charm, you are the slightly kooky neighbours that everyone secretly loves and hates at the same time 

you guys are just badass (and i wish i could be apart of your gang) 

now you mentionned that you kin Shigaraki (who is one my faves) so i can imagine that perhaps you may be interested in video games 

if that is the case, well you have found your player 2

you too love to spend hours (mostly at night) playing all sorts of video games (including the MHA one as well) 

you like to play as Shigaraki while Tendou plays as Toga because I feel he likes her character design (he likes cute girls ok)

sometimes you may order something like a chinese (or if you don’t like chinese your fave cuisine) and just play video games like half seriously

like Tendou will make like these little impressions of the characters and honestly you would be laughing your head off 

you guys are too cute awww

now Tendou doesn’t mind that you choose not to cook, like it is canon that he has a very small appetite so he really doesn’t care that you live off ramen cups

he probably does the same 

here is an idea tho, you guys try out all the different flavours of instant noodles and ramen cups and rate them 

in your house there is a little chart with which brand and flavour has the top score 

like the ultimate ramen cup 

now by looking up the film Garden of Words it seems you are not a fan perhaps of the shoujo troupe 

if that is correct then neither does tendou 

you guys sit and binge classic shouen animes like naruto, MHA and Hxh 

Tendou does a very good Hisoka impression

now seeing as you hate maths at first tendou tried to tutor you , y’know to be a good roommate

but it didn’t last too long, like you know those maths word problems where it is like Elizabeth has 10 sandwitches etc...

you too would start making fun of the characters in the word problems 

elizabeth is such a greedy bitch

anyway i am getting side tracked

tendou is also a night owl actually i don’t think i have seen this kid ever sleep

like most of your fun endeavours take place at night it is when he is at his peak chaotic energy 

Tendou thinks it is adorable that you draw your own stickers and definetely has them all stuck around the house and on it’s laptop 

you know for advertising purposes 

if you make him a sticker based on anime, bonus points if its fanart of him being in that said anime 

he will marry you on the spot 

definetely brags about your talent (and damn right he should)

Overall you have a cheerful, loud but a little bit of a sardonic roommate

Other Potential Matches: Suna Rintarou and Akaashi Keiji

hiya! I hope you liked your matchup and thank you for your patience 

Carla 

[secret-engima]

Worlds Unseen verse Drabble: Stand By You (Even in Dreams)

(here I am, writing something I have no idea what to do with. Enjoy the angst? This ends really abruptly but I didn’t know how to wrap it up. gfhgfd it was interesting to write at least. Also, potential spoilers for Horizon Zero Dawn).

...

     He showed up about two days in. A silent companion walking steadily at her side even though that —he— was impossible. She was determined to ignore him at first. She didn’t know if he was born of her increasing hunger and thirst, her loneliness, or if the air was turning toxic the more damage the swarm did to the world, but he wasn’t real. He couldn’t be. So she ignored him.

     Still, he walked beside her. Not speaking, not ranting or babbling or screaming, just-. Walking. Watching. He watched the world around them with sad eyes, very emotive eyes. Sometimes he almost seem to stumble over the rubble of the road. If it hadn’t been for the impossibility of it, of him, she might have believed he was real. Her imagination was too strong apparently.

     But he was impossible. Dressed like something out of a post-apocalyptic movie, furs and leathers mixed with machine piping and wires, his painted face exposed to the ruined world without dying even though she knew that people needed vacuum-sealed suits now just to survive. He was impossible.

     She would never admit that it felt good not to be alone. Even if her company was just a figment of her imagination.

     She made it through three days of silence before she broke, “You ever gonna talk, or are you a silent hallucination?”

     Blue-grey eyes, more like storm clouds than skies, shifted away from the landscape to look at her, “You didn’t seem in the mood for conversation,” he spoke, and she noted what almost sounded like a Japanese accent —odd choice brain, why not a southern accent like Travis or something?—, “so I left you alone.”

     She sighed, “Well, not much else to do out here but indulge my insanity.”

     “You think you’re dreaming me up.”

     “Aren’t I?”

     The hallucination shrugged, “I don’t know. I think that I’m dreaming you up, personally, and you believe you’ve dreamed me up. Maybe we’re both dreaming up each other. Or maybe we’re both just dreams. Does it matter?”

     She mulled over that for probably longer than it deserved, “I guess not.”

...

...

...

     “Where are we going?”

     She looked up tiredly at the words, jolted out of the daze that had been settling into her bones by the soft voice of the impossibility following her around, “I’m trying to get home. You can leave whenever you want.”

     A loose shrug, as if her words were merely a polite suggestion and not a jab at her insanity, “Are you sure you want to see it this way? It’s not going to be pretty.”

     They both paused to look around at the ruined landscape. Skyscrapers smoking in the distance, roads cracked and torn apart, the entire world either burned or eaten by unstoppable metal monsters, the sky turned unnatural colors as the atmosphere was ruined ever further. No, she mentally agreed. She probably did not want to see her home this way. But still … “I have nowhere else to go. I’m a dead woman anyway. I want to die at home.”

     He shrugged again, as if to say without words that it was her choice, and they kept walking.

     She wondered distantly when his footsteps had started to make sound, just like real ones did.

...

...

...

     “You got a name? It’s getting boring just calling you the Hallucination in my head.”

     An amused glance her way, “I thought you weren’t supposed to indulge hallucinations because it would only make them worse.”

     She scoffed, the sound laced with static through the speakers of her suit, “Worst case is that I die before I get home, talking to thin air. Best case is that I die at the ranch, still talking to thin air. Might as well risk it. So, do you have a name?”

     He tilted his head and considered her. There was something eerie in his gaze, something too keen and too alive. Something too old. It fit the strange military uniform he was wearing today, “Bast,” he finally said, “Bast Lucis Caelum.”

     “Pretentious,” she huffed, and his lips twitched like he agreed and found her opinion amusing. It was stupid to introduce herself to a hallucination of her own mind, because surely he knew everything about her already. But even so, boredom and manners made her tap her chest plate and say, “Elisabet. Elisabet Sobeck.” He stopped and stared at her with wide, startled eyes, the most open emotion she had yet seen from him. His mouth opened, then shut, then he shook his head and muttered something that sounded distinctly like “should have known” and she was intrigued despite herself, “You didn’t know who I was. Shouldn’t you know everything about me?”

     He scoffed, a dry, tired noise, “No. I didn’t. I knew your voice was familiar, but I can’t- I can’t see you under that suit. I wasn’t sure. And I don’t know much about you. Not really.” A pause, a thoughtful look at the ruined horizon and the swirling dust beneath their feet, “Tell me?”

     Elisabet didn’t feel much like talking about herself to, essentially, herself, but she was used to answering vague, childish questions after so long working with Gaia, and somehow she found herself talking as she hiked through the empty landscape. About herself, about her past, about her dreams. Bast listened without judgement, just occasionally made a questioning noise that let her know he was listening.

     It was a relief to not feel alone in this place. Even if she knew logically she was more alone than she had ever been before in her life.

...

...

...

     “If you had a daughter,” Elisabet jerked awake from her daze at the sound, blinked and tried to shake off the effects of dehydration —the suit had run out of water stims to inject into her bloodstream yesterday and she was already feeling the effects—, “what would you say to her?”

     “I don’t have any children,” she retorted and tried not to sound bitter about it, “for the best, really, considering … this.” She waved a hand at the fallen buildings and smoking spires. Ruins without bodies, everything already picked clean of organic material by the swarm as it had passed by. That was probably the only reason she was still alive. This area had already been deemed empty by the swarm and it had moved on before she had … left.

     “Humor me.”

     She looked at her imaginary companion. He was dressed in post-apocalypse leathers and cables again, his blond hair half shaved, the other half left to flop to the side like some kind of sad not-mohawk. His weapons hadn’t changed. They were just as anime as ever. A katana at one hip, a bow on his back and a quiver of arrows on his other hip, knives peaking out from seemingly every pocket. He was watching her with something very focused and serious in his gaze. Like he could see through her suit and into her eyes. She licked dry lips beneath her visor, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t have anyone.”

     He stopped walking, she stopped instinctively so as to not leave him behind. He reached out as if to grab her shoulder, paused before he could touch her and lowered his hand. Grey eyes looked dark with intent, with desperation, “If you had a daughter,” he started to repeat.

     “Well I don’t!” She snapped, temper breaking free of its leash, “I’m childless! I have no daughter, I have no future! I’m talking to a hallucination! You’re a figment of my mind, why won’t you just change the subject?”

     “Because this is important!” He snarled back with more ferocity than she expected. He stormed forward until they were almost touching, his nose inches from her faceplate, “This is important, Elisabet. I don’t know what’s going on, if I’m dead or dreaming or what, but I have a chance to ask this and I’m taking it!”

     A fractured pause between them, tense and disbelieving on both sides. Then Bast ran a hand through his hair and stepped back, “Now please. If you had a daughter, what would you tell her?”

     A pointless question. A pointless question that was painful to even think about, especially here. Especially now. She turned away and resumed walking, listened to the crunch of footsteps that couldn’t really be there as they followed her and thought about changing the subject.

     And yet…

     “If I had a daughter … I would tell her that I loved her. So much. I would tell her … to be brave. And curious. And kind. That- that the world has enough people out there hurting it, and that it takes a special kind of person to heal it instead. If only a little bit. I would tell her that I support her, no matter what she decided to do with her life, and that wherever she went … whatever she did, I would believe in her. Anything she wanted to be, or achieve, she could do it. I know she could.” Elisabet looked up at the sky, taking in the starscape just beginning to be visible, “I would tell her to reach for the stars, because if she wanted to, she could touch them. And no matter what happened next … I would be … so proud. I would love her, and I would… I …”

     “I would tell her that I would always be proud of my baby girl.”

     Bast let her fall silent after that. Politely looked away as her shoulders shook and her breath hitched inside the suit. Then, after minutes upon minutes of aching silence, he whispered, “I’ll remember that.”

     And Elisabet wondered why it felt like such a relief to hear those words. Even though logically she knew that she had no child, and even if she had, they would never hear what Elisabet had to say.

...

...

...

     It was getting hard to see straight. Hard to think. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since the suit ran out of nutrient stims. Just that it had, and she had kept walking. She had avoided the swarm, somehow, and now … now she was so tired. So very tired.

     “Keep walking,” Bast said, and she wondered when she had stopped caring that he was a figment of her mind and instead clung to the comfort of his presence. To the steadiness of his voice even in a world eaten alive. “That’s it, isn’t it? Up ahead.”

     She looked up. Cried when she saw the weathered letters of the Sobeck Ranch looking back, “Yeah. That’s it. That’s home.” She had made it. She had made it home. Crazy and dying and alone at the end of the world but … she was home. She staggered past the wrecked gate, tried not to look at the devastation. The swarm had been through here, she could tell. All the trees were gone, all the grass ripped out of the ground by the roots. The walls caved in to get to the ivy that had been growing on them. Her home was in as much ruins as the rest of the world.

     But it was still here.

     She sank shakily onto the old stone bench that faced the house and sighed.

     This would be a good place to die.

     Bast settled next to her, crouching on his haunches near the bench rather than risk touching her —he never touched her, and she wasn’t sure if that was out of respect for her boundaries or because they both knew it would break the illusion that he was ever there—. He was quiet. He had been getting a lot quieter, the longer the journey went on. The more Elisabet faded. He only spoke now to wake her up, to tell her to keep moving. But she was home now, so there was no more reason to stay awake, or to walk. This was it. This was where she was going to stay until the end.

     She wondered, a little dazedly, if it would be scary for Bast. If he would fade with her consciousness, acting alive until the end, or if her brain would just get too tired to keep him around and he would wink into nothing between one heartbeat and the next. That thought scared her more than it should.

     “Hey, Bast?”

     “Yeah?”

     She licked dry lips and shifted to be marginally more comfortable on the bench. Tilted her head back to the sky and idly rolled her little globe charm in her fingers as she whispered, “If I had a daughter … what would her name be? What … would she be like?”

     The silence that followed was deep and long. So long she closed her eyes with a shaking sigh, sure that her brain had finally gotten bored with making him and left her well and truly alone. Then.

     “Aloy. Her name would be Aloy. She would … look just like you. Red hair, bright green eyes that try to pick apart everything in the world around her. She would be … curious. Brave. Unstoppable. The smartest person in the room wherever she went but not … arrogant about it. Always looking for knowledge, always looking to learn. She would be … afraid of a lot of things, but she would never let it stop her. She would be very kind. Always willing to help other people in need, even when it’s risky, or when she would rather do something else. She would … look at a boy about her age that … no one wanted anything to do with because he was weird and she would hold out a hand in friendship. She would learn a foreign language just so she could talk to her new friend better, and ask questions no else thinks to ask. She would do … so many amazing things.”

     Elisabet tried to picture it. Indulged in the fantasy of it, just for a little while, “What things?”

     “Well,” Bast mused slowly, a note of gentle, nostalgic fondness in his voice, “there was this one time when we were eleven, and Aloy decided she wanted to surprise Rost, our … caretaker, so…”

     Elisabet listened. Eyes closed, breath slowing, basking in stories of the impossible. Of children and curiosity, of teenagers and bravery. Of a daughter who was unstoppable, and curious, and kind enough to fix the world, just a little bit. She listened to Bast’s voice rise and fall in stories of hope and heartbreak and danger and kindness. Her hand slowly relaxed around her little globe charm. It would be alright to doze off just for a little while, right? To dream of these fanciful stories her own mind was telling her.

     Just for a little while. Maybe … maybe she would get to see them? In her dreams if nothing else.

     Just for a little bit.

     Thank you, she tried to tell Bast past lips too tired to move. Thank you for staying with me, even if you aren’t really here.

     Thank you for not letting me die alone.

...

...

...

     Bast finished his story, one of many he had been telling, through the day and night and into the dawn again. He looked up from the pebbles he had been fiddling with, only half feeling them, as if he was touching them in a dream.

     He couldn’t hear Elisabet breathing anymore.

     He closed his eyes. Opened them and looked around the ruined world one more time. He could feel it, the tug in his soul that had been trying to make him wake up for a while now. He could have left days ago, followed the tug and gone back to the world of the living. But even if this was all just a dream —which it might be, or it might not, could he really judge after all the things he’d seen?—, he hadn’t wanted to leave yet. He hadn’t wanted to disappear and leave her alone.

     It was the least he could do, for Aloy’s mother.

     He stood up, letting the tugging sensation unravel through his soul as he stared at the unmoving figure slumped over on the stone bench, “I’ll come find you,” he whispered, “when I wake up. When this is all over. I’ll take Aloy here to meet you. Just wait for me until then, okay?”

     There was no answer. He didn’t expect any.

     The tugging feeling grew stronger and yanked him away, and Bast had just enough time to whisper goodbye before he opened his eyes in the real world, aching all over and with a relieved Aloy crying at his head.

     “-you thinking? You almost died!”

     “Sor’y, Aloy.”

     “I’ll show you sorry, all those lectures on being reckless and there you go and do something stupid like that-!”

     “Your Mom says hi.”

     “I’m going to- what?”

     Bast shook his head with a sigh. She didn’t know yet. She still had hope.

     He would tell her later. When he took her to meet Elisabet, “Neverm’nd. Tell you later.” He reached up and tugged one of her braids gently, “Missed you.”

     He squinted past the tears dripping onto his face as she pulled him into her lap, “I missed you too you big idiot. Don’t scare me like that again.”

     “Okay.”

[sunniebelle]

An Enchanted Night

I got a Bingo @doctorroseprompts! 

Tentoo x Rose, light Teen

A few days after Rose and her Doctor return to Pete's World, Rose is still struggling with worry over her place in the Doctor's life and if she indeed has a future with him. The Doctor is fairly sure he's come up with a fool-proof plan to ease her concerns and show her how priceless she truly is to him.

Note: This is based on a prompt from @skyler10fic to use the words 'party' and 'boat' from Tumblr's @doctorroseprompts' Summer Fic Bingo. Thank you so much @skyler10fic for the prompt! I hope you enjoy the story! :D

A03, TSP

Rose Tyler smiled politely and nodded at what she hoped was an appropriate time to one of Pete Tyler’s Vitex business associates. Her mum was hosting a big, fancy party to celebrate the return of the stars. The mystery of the stars suddenly going out, for seemingly no reason, had baffled scientists the world over. Torchwood had done its very best to gather the best and brightest experts they could find all over the world. The only ones who had known in their gut that something more sinister was going on had been Rose and Pete Tyler.

In the beginning, she had fought tooth and nail for weeks to have her's, Mickey Smith’s and Jake Simmond’s Dimension Canon Project approved for use. She’d spent months hopping dimensions, searching relentlessly for her Doctor.

She had never expected the result of her efforts to end like they had, to wind up back in Pete’s World for good and living life on the slow path. More than anything, she hadn’t expected the surprise of a lifetime, to get to stay with her family and have the Doctor. Though there were some subtle differences between the Doctor she had been separated from and his biological metacrisis, he was indeed her Doctor in every way that mattered.

She could still recall in vivid detail the moments directly after watching the TARDIS and the Time Lord Doctor disappear without any kind of goodbye. With old, incredibly painful memories flooding to the surface of her battered and bruised heart, and her fears of abandonment rearing their ugly heads, she had thrown herself into the metacrisis’ arms and sobbed from too many emotions coursing through her exhausted mind and body.

Rose forcefully pushed her reminiscent memories away, trying to once again focus on what the man—whose name she couldn’t recall now—was continuing to discuss in an almost monotone voice. As soon as possible, she excused herself and went in search of the man that was never far from her thoughts.

After getting caught up in and escaping several conversations with individuals who were definitely not her Doctor, she finally left for the kitchens thinking he popped in there to steal some nibbles and have a rambling discussion with the likely annoyed staff. She could only hope he had not resorted to fiddling with the kitchen appliances. After all, there was only so many times she could talk her mum out of slapping him.

Upon learning none of the servants had seen him and feeling quite baffled at his disappearance, she let out a heavy sigh and decided to take a walk in the gardens that surrounded the back half of the Tyler mansion, thinking the fresh night air might help settle her thoughts.

As hard as she tried, Rose couldn’t completely push aside the fear that tried to bubble up in her. Having been sent away so many times, searching for months and always coming up empty-handed, and finally being abandoned by the Time Lord Doctor on that bloody beach, all of it together had left her wary when she faced moments like this, when she couldn’t find the Doctor. It brought up so many doubts in her, stirring painful memories to the surface.

Oh, she knew full-well the Doctor loved her. She even knew that the fully Time Lord Doctor loved her; but at moments like these, her insecurities had a way of overwhelming her.

Her mind was working over-time to convince her that her doubts and fears were real, not just imagined—that she wasn’t enough for the Metacrisis Doctor and he missed traveling the stars too much to stay with her. Most importantly, though, she wondered if she would ever be enough to bridge the gaping hole that was left behind by the severed connection with his TARDIS.

All these depressing, morose thoughts spiraled in her mind like a viscous whirlwind. She knew she was being daft, but still that knowledge couldn’t make the thoughts go away. They had plagued her relentlessly since that day on Bad Wolf Bay, just a few days ago.

So focused was she on her self-recriminating thoughts, she didn’t see the moonlit outline of her half-human Doctor walking toward her in the dark.

“Rose! There you are, I was just coming to—” the Doctor began excitedly before cutting himself off at her startled gasp. “Oh, sorry. I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.”

Letting out a deep breath and trying to return her heart to its normal rhythm, she ran a hand down his arm to assure him she was fine and he was forgiven.

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you everywhere. No one knew where you were.”

Though Rose tried to keep her worry and self-doubts to herself, either her voice or something in her eyes gave her away. Familiar chocolate-brown eyes studied her for several long moments before he grasped her hands in a gentle but firm grip.

Looking deep into her eyes, the Doctor said, “I’m sorry I worried you Rose. I always hate to see you upset, especially when I’m the cause. I know it’s going to take time to prove to you that I have no intention of ever leaving you again, at least not by my own choice.” He stepped closer into her personal space, so close she could feel his warm puffs of air gently grazing her skin.

“I slipped away so I could prepare for the surprise I had planned for the two of us. Would you care to take a moonlit stroll with me?” he asked with a small smile, turning and offering his elbow to her.

He tried to hide it, but she could see the hesitant, vulnerable look in his eye, as though he was preparing for her to decline. As if she would ever miss out on a chance to have the Doctor all to herself.

“I’d love to, Doctor,” she said, giving him a tongue-touched grin.

The Doctor was still awestruck whenever he was graced by one of Rose’s beaming smiles. He didn’t know how she did it, but her smile seemed to make the gentle light of the moon seem to shine as bright as day when she smiled at him like that. He was fully aware that he had a goofy, ear-to-ear grin on his face as he felt Rose’s arm slip into the crook of his elbow. He had felt more genuine smiles cross his face in the past month than he had since the day he lost her in the battle of Canary Warf.

They walked in companionable silence until they reached the edge of the large duck pond that sat toward the back of the Tyler property.

A pleasantly warm wind blew the scents of the night air into their faces, letting them sample the sweet floral but heady smell of honeysuckle and lavender. In the trees and bushes they heard the calls and movements of small animals hurrying about their business in the cover of night.

The gentle warmth of the night air seemed to wrap around them, like a comfortable blanket and he could feel the earlier tension in Rose slowly fade as they took in the beauty around them. Ahead of them, the soft sound of wave after wave of water meeting and lapping at the shore added to the magic of the moment and to the melody of the night noises surrounding them.

The blue-ish white light of the moon illuminated the ground beneath the Doctor’s and Rose’s feet. The Doctor led them around the grassy shore a ways, toward a short wooden dock where, barely visible at the end, two lanterns sat atop the posts waiting to be lit.

He stopped her at the entrance to the pier and asked her to close her eyes and wait there for a minute. Rolling her eyes in feigned impatience and giving him an indulgent but excited smile, she complied.

Waving his hand in front of her face to test that she wasn’t peaking, he darted to the end of the walk and turned the lanterns on high, then quickly returned to her side.

“Keep your eyes closed, but walk with me. I’ll guide you.” He was pleased to see the amused smile tugging at Rose’s mouth, but focused on leading her to his surprise, mostly so he wouldn’t focus too much on his desire to kiss her.

When they reached their destination, he stepped to the side and told her to open her eyes. He watched as her eyes opened and focused on his surprise; a wooden rowboat tied to the pier and in the center of the boat was a large picnic basket. He saw a beaming smile slowly light up Rose’s face and simultaneously warm his single human heart, effectively calming his tumultuous fears about her enjoying his surprise.

“You did all this? For me?” she asked, her voice quiet while her eyes searched his.

“All for you, Rose Tyler. If I may?” he asked, gesturing to the boat. She accepted his help into the boat and was soon seated across from her. He gazed at her for a long moment, then, as though he was just remembering something, he reached behind him and presented her with a beautiful bouquet of pink and yellow roses.

Lifting them to her face to breathe in their wonderful smell, she said, “These are beautiful, Doctor. Thank you, for these...and doing all this.”

“You’re welcome. Only the best for my pink and yellow human,” he said with a grin, which she returned.

He situated his hands on the paddles and made ready to move the boat out onto the water so he could continue his plans for the evening. He suddenly stopped when Rose cleared her throat and looked up at her.

“Um, Doctor, are you forgetting something?”

He looked at her in confusion for a moment, then glanced around them, mentally ticking off everything in his head, then looked back up at her in bemusement.

Shaking his head, he confirmed, “No, don’t think so.”

He could tell that she was holding back laughter and trying to hide a smile behind her hand. He cocked an eyebrow at her, waiting to see what she found so amusing.

Lowering her hand and doing a very poor job of not smiling, she pointed to the rope that was anchoring the boat to the pier. “’S just, think we’ll get farther without being tethered, don’t you?”

His face dropped as he looked at the line. “Ah.”

He turned a beaming smile on her. “My brilliant, Rose! Always seeing what I miss!” he exclaimed with pride, making her smile wider.

The rope tucked safely away and paddles now in hand, the Doctor’s smooth, powerful strokes brought them quickly to the middle of the pond fairly quickly.

After securing the paddles, the Doctor opened the hamper he had prepared earlier. In a short amount of time they each had plates of fish and chips and glasses of wine.

The Doctor had difficulty swallowing when Rose moaned at the taste of the chips. Trying to force his mind to other things than wanting to ravish her, he began rambling about his progress on the TARDIS coral. For a while they ate and drank, their conversation relaxed.

Soon the meal was finished and he brought out a large slice of double chocolate banana cake and two spoons. Rose’s obvious delight caused him to make his happy noise at the pleasure she found in his hard work. They both moaned in pleasure when the first bite of the delicious cake reached their respective mouths, then looked at each other and laughed.

After packing their dishes away in the hamper, the Doctor moved over to sit beside Rose, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He enjoyed the feel of her leaning into his body and her contented sigh as they felt the gentle sway of the boat drifting in the water.

As they gazed at the night-time scenery around them, Rose smiled when she thought of all the thought, time and effort the Doctor had put into this lovely surprise date he had set up. All of this had shattered through the doubts that had been swirling in her head lately.

As he stared up at the moon and stars that softly lit the midnight sky, she surreptitiously studied him. He was wearing a dark-blue tuxedo; though tonight’s party had been a black-tie affair, he had refused to wear a black one, much to her mother’s annoyance. Rose had always loved how handsome he looked in a tux and tonight was no exception.

His eyes sparkled in the soft light, while the breeze ruffled the strands of his spiked hair. She continued her perusal, forcing her hands to remain in her lap and not wander into his really great hair. Her eyes finally fell to his mouth, specifically his pouty lower lip that continued to taunt her with how kissable that feature made him look.

She startled slightly when his head suddenly turned to her, their eyes locking and bodies stilling.

She felt a bit perplexed when she saw a slightly nervous look cross his face, yet couldn’t help but track the movement of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed. She wondered what was making him nervous and was about to ask him, when he started speaking.

“Rose, I—there’s a reason I did all this tonight, planned it all out. I’m actually amazed one of my plans worked! You know, normally they end up going awry a little bit. Well, yeah, you know that. Don’t need to go into that. I, um, that is. Oh, bugger.” She watched in part amusement, part growing concern as her Doctor tried to tell her something that she instinctively knew was important.

He took a deep breath through his mouth and let it out his nose slowly, then turned slightly so he could face her. “Rose, I don’t know that I, even with all the languages I can speak, could find the words to tell you how much I missed you.”

Her breath caught at that statement and she felt the slight burning sensation of tears beginning to gather in her eyes.

“I was miserable, a completely useless wreck without you. There were so many times I’d ask myself, ‘What would Rose do?’, or ‘What am I missing that Rose would see?’”

As the Doctor continued his ramble, he became more animated and Rose imagined that, were they not in a boat, he would have been pacing.

“And blimey, how many times did Donna yell at me for moping about or sulking? I was a right pain in the arse at times, I’m sure. You can stop laughing, Rose, cause it’s true!” he said, smiling as she tried to stifle her giggles at the pictures he created. Oh, how she could just imagine those scenarios—which of course, was a rather sobering thought.

“The point I’m trying and failing to make Rose is, I was so miserable without you, but a great majority was because of my deep regret. Regret for how much bloody time I wasted holding you at arm’s length. I told myself I was protecting you, from my darkness, from my past. But really, I was scared, a right sodding coward. I was terrified of how much it would hurt one day when I lost you.”

Her throat got tighter as her tears gathered in her eyes, watching him bare himself completely like this. A tear spilled over and slowly rolled down her cheek as she saw his head bow, eyes close and shoulders slump with the weight of his next words.

“And then...I did lose you and it hurt so much more. Because all that time, we could have been honest about our feelings. No, I could have been honest about my feelings for you. And Rose,” he looked up, staring into her eyes, “my regret for the things I didn’t do and didn’t say still runs deep. A chasm of regret. And I vowed to myself, when you chose me that day on that windy beach, after we saved the Earth again—well, the universe...well, the multi-verse—I vowed that I would not hide my feelings for you any longer.”

She watched him take a deep breath, then slide from his seat beside her. Her breath, mind, heart, everything stopped when he knelt before her and grasped her hand. Tears that she had managed to keep at bay now ran unchecked down her face.

“Rose Marion Tyler, from the day I grasped your hand in mine and told you to 'Run', you have fascinated, challenged, inspired me, saved me so many times, in so many ways. You took a bitter, old and broken Time Lord soldier...and you made me better. Your light, your spirit, your compassion, Rose, just...everything about you drew me to you. You were, are, will always be my center of gravity. And I cannot—do not ever want to—imagine a life lived without you. You are my everything. I love you, Rose Tyler, and will spend every single day of the rest of our forever proving it to you.”

He drew out a small TARDIS-blue velvet case from his inner lapel pocket and lifted the lid to reveal a white-gold ring with a beautiful diamond centered between two small sapphires. As he lifted it from the case, she thought she could see his written language, circular Gallifreyan, engraved inside the ring—though she longed for stronger light than the gentle moonlight currently surrounding them to confirm her suspicions.

“Doctor,” was the only word she could get past her lips and increasingly tight throat.

“Will you,” he took a deep breath and she heard him gulp before he continued, “do me the extreme honor of becoming my wife?”

“Yes, Doctor,” she said in a broken whisper.

A beaming smile suddenly stretched across his face making the adorable crinkles around his eyes appear.

As he reverently slipped the ring onto her finger, she giggled in delight and stared at it for a long moment. She then lunged forward to wrap him in a tight hug. He barely kept them upright, both of them laughing as the boat rocked with their movement. For several minutes they were content to stay locked in their warm embrace.

Turning her head, she trailed her lips across his jaw pressing soft kisses to his smooth skin. Making her way to his mouth, she finally gave him a loving, lingering kiss. He was quick to lean into her and when she moved her now-bejeweled left hand to his hair to scratch at his scalp, while also drawing his tempting lower lip between hers, she relished the sound of his moan. He pulled her closer, one arm tight around her lower back while the other snaked into her hair to tilt her head as he deepened the kiss, which pulled a moan from her as well.

The need to breathe finally caused them to separate, their foreheads touching and their breath mingling. Her eyelids fluttered open, warm amber meeting rich chocolate.

Her hands, still tangled in his gorgeously riotous hair, came down to rest on either side of his face and she pulled back to better see him. It took all her will-power not to continue their previous activities, what with seeing his adorable and thoroughly-snogged appearance. But she had something important to tell him as well, something she had not said to him in a very long time.

“Doctor, you are so important to me. So important that I jumped universes to get back to you. I was utterly devastated when we were separated, so lost. I was more lonely than I knew it was possible to be. But because of all I went through, the decisions I made because no one would or could make them, I feel like...like I know you and understand you better. And Doctor, I mean this from the depths of my soul,” she stared into his eyes to make sure he was truly hearing her.

“It doesn’t matter what has happened in your past. All of what you went through, every single bit of it, it made you into who you are. And who you are...is the man I love. My Doctor. I love you, so much.”

Now it was the Doctor whose face was streaked with tears as he stared into her eyes. He looked at her as though he had found the most precious treasure. It was a look of wonder and awe.

Suddenly he surged forward with a hard press of his lips to hers. She poured all her love for this beautiful, wonderful man into her kiss and felt the same being sent to her.

He finally slowed and gentled his touch, kissing her with such tenderness and love that she again felt tears burning behind her eyelids.

Breaking away so there was only a few inches between them, they gazed at each other, memorizing and treasuring everything about this moment. The Doctor stared at Rose with deep, chocolate brown eyes, his gaze so filled with love and hope for their future together.

She looked down between them at their hands, palms pressed together and fingers tightly linked. She knew—they both knew deep in their souls—no matter what the universe had in store for them, as long as they had each other’s hand to hold, they could face it. Together.

[breeeliss]

I’m rly scared to watch voltron the fandom seems so gross sometimes, so you have any tips for getting into the show?

watch the show in its entirety without looking through tumblr. seriously. don’t touch the fandom until you’ve gotten through all four seasons i promise you’ll thank me. the fandom is a cesspit of nonsense, but i promise you the show itself is exemplary. you’ll love it. the writing and animation are astounding. 

if you’re the type that likes to ship, just watch the show and vibe with what feels right. heavily emphasizing ignoring fandom here. if it peaks your interest? cool, go with it, enjoy it, keep watching the show. 

remember that your ships are not tied to your morality, and shipping something doesn’t make you a bad person. don’t think “if i ship this does this make me a ______?” no. it doesn’t. it’s just a ship.

don’t start looking through the tags/the fandom until you’re secure in your opinions/impressions of the show. voltron is very opinionated and will try to make innocuous things seem “”””problematic”””” when in reality it all just boils down to a difference in taste/comfort. recognize that sometimes you just have different tastes/levels of comfort than other people and leave them be. be secure in what you enjoy. 

now if you wanna get into fandom, here’s my advice:

learn to recognize antis and stay far away from them. antis are a section that enjoy bullying users, calling them pedophiles, calling them abuse apologists, saying they condone abusive relationships, and resorting to full out harassment. do not be this person. do not engage with this person. tumblr’s most underrated function is the blocking function. block those kinds of users whenever you see them and just move on. 

by the same token, don’t let yourself get paranoid. you don’t have to vet every single art or edit you see to make sure the person is squeaky clean. if you see something you like, reblog it. but if you see someone ranting about “these sh@llies need to go die” then that’s probably a person you want to block. 

on the flip side, you’re entitled to your discomfort with a ship. there’s a difference between attacking shippers and being uncomfortable with a fictional ship. it’s okay to say that a ship makes you personally uncomfortable and it’s okay to say that you don’t like it for x, y, z reasons. my advice would be to just blacklist those ship tags, and to keep your ship critiques out of the fandom tags and on your personal blog so as to offend as few people as possible. shippers are still people and they don’t want to see your negativity as much as you don’t want to see their content. 

don’t go looking for drama. this one’s hard, but if you know there’s a user who’s going to be saying something negative about a thing you like….don’t sneak a peek on their blog. it’s gonna make you very unhappy, it’s gonna make you angry, it’s gonna make you post things you regret. trust me. if you’ve blocked someone or committed to avoiding someone, avoid them. 

don’t be afraid to make friends!! if you vibe with a meta post or really enjoy someone’s art, send them a message and say hi. personally, i think voltron becomes a much more enjoyable fandom when you surround yourself with people who think like you and like the same things. 

discord servers are also great. find some to join or make one yourself comprised of just your friends. that way you can talk about whatever you want, share whatever you want, and have a close knit community to vent about voltron with. highly recommend it. 

if you decide to make content, just make sure you tag everything. tag ships, tag characters, the whole works. people who depend on blacklisting to make their fandom experience positive will thank you for it. 

on the off chance that negative anons get into your inbox, turn off anons and block those messages from coming in. don’t engage with anon hate unless you’re in the mental space to calmly and rationally react. again, when things begin to upset you, block block block. keeping your friends close to you in these trying times helps a lot. 

sorry that was a lot, but that’s a pretty good start. enjoy the show. the show itself is so freaking amazing i promise you’ll love it. and if fandom exhausts you or if you’re still scared, feel free to message me off anon or IM me to chat about it :)

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 05/12/2020

Earlier this week, I finished and released by end-of-year list of the Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2020, which, for once, was on time, being released on the 1st – or 2nd – of December, depending on your time zone. That means I’ve already spent hours discussing music, and to be honest, I have a pretty bad headache in addition to this, so you know, I’m not really in that chart-reviewing spirit. Thankfully, we have very few songs to review here, and a lot of it should be pretty inoffensive. Now, before that, let’s talk about the actual state of the charts because it is looking ridiculous. Ariana Grande’s “positions” spend its sixth week at #1, and welcome to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

Much like last week, it was an absolute bloodbath for any non-Christmas song this week, and this especially affects the hip hop and R&B on the chart. In the UK Top 75, which I cover every week, there’s a drastic difference to the US Billboard Hot 100, and that is the lack of radio. Radio impressions or plays have never been counted on the UK Singles Chart, and whilst in the States, I understand that a lot of Christmas songs rely on the radio, this is not true at all across the pond, because, for whatever reason, Christmas songs are streamed and bought a lot here even 60 years after the song’s original release. This is likely due to a smaller, arguably less diverse population and the immense amount of streaming service-curated playlists, which serve the same purpose as radio and often have the exact same label gimmickry and payola. Regardless, there is a stupid amount of drop-outs and fallers this week, for pretty big tracks as well. Now as I said I only cover the top 75 of the UK Singles Chart because it’s just easier and really, who cares about those last 25 songs? On the UK Singles Chart proper, Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved”, one of the biggest hits of 2019 and 2020, just spent its 100th week on the chart, which is insane, especially for a modern song. I think the song is dreadful but it is one of the biggest songs of all time here on the Isles, and since we’re going by my measures, it just dropped out (after spending seven weeks at #1, mind you). Of course, that’s not the only notable drop-out – and to be notable, you have to have spent five weeks on the chart or peaked in the top 40 – this week. Let’s list them, shall we? We have “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles, which spent 40 weeks on the chart, as well as #1 hit “Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)” by Jawsh 685 and Jason Derulo, “Giants” by Dermot Kennedy, “Mood Swings” by the late Pop Smoke featuring Lil Tjay, “Lighter” by Nathan Dawe and KSI, “Take You Dancing” by Jason Derulo, “Holiday” by Little Mix, “Tick Tock” by Clean Bandit featuring Mabel and 24kGoldn, “Come Over” by Rudimental featuring Anne-Marie and Tion Wayne, “Lasting Lover” by Sigala and James Arthur, “Holy” by Justin Bieber featuring Chance the Rapper, “One Too Many” by Keith Urban and P!nk, “Papi Chulo” by Octavian and Skepta, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals, “Deluded” by Tion Wayne and MIST, “Confetti” by Little Mix, “pov” by Ariana Grande (to make way for another one of her songs we’ll get to – also probably the only actually good song that dropped out this week) and finally, “Life Goes On” by BTS off of the debut at #10. On the chart proper, this is one of the biggest free-fall drops of all time, and honestly, who wasn’t expecting this? Speaking of falls, we have a lot of those too. Whilst these are fallers, you should consider how impressive they are for even trying to survive the holiday season, which just can’t be done for a lot of these songs, even the biggest hits of the year, some of which we just mentioned. One of the funniest parts of this to me is that KSI of all people survived the overload of Christmas songs through his Craig David chorus on “Really Love” with Digital Farm Animals down to #17. For a former YouTuber, he has an immense amount of star-power and it’s kind of worrying. Otherwise, our notable fallers include “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #24, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur at #25 (not a good week for either of these guys – or anyone), “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #26 off of the top 10 debut, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior at #27, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #29, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd stripped of all of its gains at #31 (seriously, whilst most of these songs were fading naturally prior, this is worrying), “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring NAV and Don Toliver at #34, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco at #42 (giving him four songs as a lead artist on the chart – OCC, that’s not how your dumb rules work; be consistent), “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio really having the most intense combination of streaming cuts and Christmas music at #44, “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes flailing at #45 (it will probably rebound next week), “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #46 (same here), “Golden” by Harry Styles at #47, “Loading” by Central Cee at #48, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #49, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #50, “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee at #52, “UFO” by D-Block Europe and Aitch at #55, “Plugged in Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer at #56, “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey at #60 (which happened to play as I was writing this), “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #61, “WAP” by Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #62, “Diamonds” by Sam Smith having the biggest fall to #63, “Ain’t it Different” by Headie One featuring AJ Tracey and Stormzy at #65, “Chingy (It’s Whatever)” by Digga D at #69, “Come Over” by Jorja Smith and Popcaan at #70, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI at #71 and finally, “Flavour” by Loski and Stormzy at #74. A YouTube comment on the video version of this chart read, “RIP to hip hop and R&B in the UK, 2020-2020”, and, I mean, it’s a fair assessment. That’s not all though, folks, as we have the returning entries, most of which are very explicitly Christmas songs. Let’s start with “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #75, and continue up the chart with “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #73, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #72 (always the best song on the entire chart whenever it returns), “A Little Love” by Celeste from the John Lewis advert at #64, “Feliz Navidad” by José Feliciano at #54, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #57, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by the late Dean Martin at #54, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #52, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #43, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by the late John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #40 (always the worst song on the chart whenever it returns), “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #39 (this is an accurate ranking of the Beatles), “Jingle Bell Rock” by the late Bobby Helms at #38, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #37 and “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by the late Andy Williams at #36. Yes, that’s five consecutive Christmas songs returning to the top 40, made all the more ridiculous when you realise it’s topped off by “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X... at #41 – and it actually gained this week! Oh, and we don’t stop there either as not only do we have “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande returning to #16 as well, but we also have all of the gains this week. All of our notable gains are in the top 40 and all but one are Christmas songs, so let’s start with “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis up to #33 (our greatest gain this week) and continue up the chart with “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #32, “This Christmas” by Jess Glynne at #28, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard at #23, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea at #22, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Justin Bieber and Brenda Lee at #21 and #19 respectively, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #20, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John at #18, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid at #15 (looking at this chart, I think we ALL know exactly what time it is), “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens at #14, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #13, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring the late Kirsty MacColl at #9, “Last Christmas” by Wham! at #3, and finally, “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey at #2. I don’t know if I’ll be happier if a 1994 classic hits #1 for the first time this Christmas, or an Ariana Grande song about sex positions takes the Christmas #1, given, of course, that LadBaby doesn’t pull something out of his ass last minute. Christmas also actually lands on a Friday this week, so there’s potentially two Christmas #1s: the #1 on Christmas Day and the #1 that includes Christmas Day. I mean, there’s this issue every year but since the chart week literally starts and ends on the day this year, I guess we’ll just have to see what the Official Charts Company decides. For now, after not-so-swiftly covering all of that garbage – and there’s three weeks more of it to come, folks – let’s discuss some of our new arrivals, none of which I imagine will be all that interesting but, hey, at least they’re not Christmas songs. In fact...

NEW ARRIVALS

#68 – “Body” – Megan Thee Stallion

Produced by LilJuMadeThatBeat

...It’s the antithesis of what it means to be wholesome, commercial and festive. You all know and love Megan Thee Stallion by now, and whilst I didn’t listen to that debut record yet – it is 17 songs after all – I have heard pretty positive reception so I will check out Good News at some point. Rico Nasty did release a record that’s only one less track and 13 full minutes shorter, so to be honest, I’m a lot more excited to check out that album, even if it won’t have any impact here. I did laugh at the track list when I saw “Intercourse (feat. Popcaan & Mustard)” though, which is one of the few times I have genuinely laughed at just a track list. “Shots Fired” is a pretty great Tory Lanez diss track though, so I’ll say that. “Body” is relatively deep into the track listing, yet seems to be the biggest hit, mostly because of that polarising earworm hook and the music video. Oh, yeah, and it straight-up samples a woman having an orgasm, so don’t expect this to stick around. In fact, that’s the only melody behind this dirty South bounce-adjacent track, and even with that, it only comes in on that chorus, which is less annoying to me as it is just catchy. It’s not like men haven’t done the same thing, though, I mean, Dr. Dre famously – or infamously – “paused 4 porno” on his album 2001, and just in 2018, Kanye released “XTCY”, a song that is hilariously lacking in any kind of moral compass, let alone born-again Christianity. It did the same thing that “Body” does with the moaning yet it also covers it in this really eerie sample, as well as spare 808s and a drum beat that doesn’t feel like it gets in the way of whatever the hell Kanye’s doing on this track. It also helps that the moaning doesn’t just come in on the chorus, instead we have a string swell to distinguish it, and that Kanye has more of a comical lyrical nature on “XTCY”. This comparison is only fair when looking at the production, though, as whilst Kanye has “sick thoughts”, Megan is just bragging about her own body-ody-ody-ody-ody, etc. over a pretty mainstream, accessible beat, even if it has really ugly, loud 808s that kind of do get in the way of the rapping here. Thankfully, Megan rides this beat forcefully – no pun intended – and with some really great wordplay, even if there are a few immediately dated references here and there. That third verse is also pretty funny, and whilst I don’t want to focus too much on this song – it’s a family show after all – this is pretty lively and whilst I’m not a fan of this beat, Megan makes it worth sitting through and honestly, the song sounds a lot shorter than it is. Check it out.

#67 – “Love is a Compass” – Griff

Produced by PARKWILD

I didn’t say the word “compass” on purpose knowing this song would be next, although perhaps I subconsciously snuck the word in. Maybe I should have made it seem like I foreshadowed this song, but honestly what about this warrants foreshadowing? I don’t mind Disney music at all. In fact, a lot of the films are full of really classic compositions that have aged incredibly, including the Renaissance era of their films, especially. In fact, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” from Mulan – the original – is one of the few soundtrack songs that is directly related to and featured in the film yet I can still listen to outside of that context. I’ve not even watched either Mulan – or have Disney+ - so it’s not like I’m a big fan, but I can appreciate the music when I find it, even if I mostly despise everything Disney stands for as a company. The issue with this is that it cannot apply to “Love is a Compass”. I’m sure Griff and her producer PARKWILD are talented musicians, but this is purely a product. This wasn’t even made for an original animated feature, or a painfully weak adaptation of one of their original animated features starring Will Smith as the Genie. This is a generic piano ballad made for an advert, because just like literal shops and manufacturing companies like John Lewis, Disney has a Christmas advert. There’s nothing artistic about this. This “emotional” piano ballad is layered in reverb and egregious Auto-Tune that drains Griff of whatever emotion her delivery could have had. It doesn’t sound good in this context at all and it is so obvious, which is unfortunate because her voice, Auto-Tuned in a similar way, could easily work over more lo-fi and interesting production. As it is, this is repulsive, sonically and on every other level beyond that.

#66 – “Angels Like You” – Miley Cyrus

Produced by Louis Bell and watt

So, Miley Cyrus dropped her album, Plastic Hearts, last week and I expected more impact on the chart but the two singles are really THAT big that not any of the album cuts had much of a chance, even if “Prisoner” dropped a few spaces. Other than that, “Midnight Sky” is still in the top five and near the end of the chart, we have a debut: “Angels Like You”. It’s clear why this charted because this isn’t just a highlight from the album or a personal favourite of mine, but it’s a fan favourite honestly, a career highlight – which may not be hard to make, I mean, it’s Miley Cyrus we’re talking about – but it still impresses me with how much I really love this song. This is more of a mellow ballad than many of the tracks surrounding it on the record, with Cyrus’ raspy country twang finally met with a fitting blend of acoustic guitars and a genuine orchestral swell in the chorus, even if at times it decides to start clipping. The shift in guitar tone to a dirtier, aggressive one after the first chorus is a genius touch, and even the pretty stiff drum machine here feels like it adds a lot to the power of this song, especially when it starts kicking behind the screeching guitar solo, leading into an admittedly anti-climactic final chorus... that might even be fitting for the content, which is a break-up song but not one that decides to deflect blame or even focus entirely on the break-up, rather being an acknowledgement of what both parties here did wrong, and why they ended up in the relationship to begin with. Both Cyrus and her ex-girlfriend Kaitlynn Carter were in rough spots coming off of previous relationships in late 2019 and those dark spots are what Cyrus understands lead to the collapse of this relationship. She discusses the lack of connection between the two in the first verse, leading to a literally nameless relationship where it was full of romantic gestures but not any depth. The chorus is a complex look at how Cyrus knew she would look back on the relationship as little more than a fling, but how she regrets that this is her only view of the relationship. She didn’t want anything more and split after things started getting too serious, and feels genuine guilt for using Carter to heal her own depression, because “misery needs company”. She uses the biblical metaphor to demonstrate how she feels she tugged down her girlfriend, described here as an “angel”, to the hell Cyrus thinks she resides in, which may be melodramatic, sure, but I’d be lying if I said Cyrus doesn’t completely sell it here, with some of her best vocals to date, backed up by gorgeous production and really well-written lyrics. This is a genuinely brilliant ballad, give it a listen.

#58 – “Naughty List” – Liam Payne and Dixie D’Amelio

Produced by TMS

I’ve been writing these producers as “TM5” for so long without realising it’s an abbreviation for “The Music Shed”. Anyway, I hope we can all agree that Liam Payne is probably the worst off when comparing the One Direction boys and their solo careers so far. Harry Styles is one of the biggest stars in the world, making a twist on 70s classic rock that I don’t like at all but he IS making headlines and having massive chart success. Niall Horan is having mild success making rock and folk albums that are honestly alright, ZAYN has two albums under his belt that may not be listenable but at least the first one was a success and he did go into a more mature R&B direction, and Louis Tomlinson might not have been met with any success from his album earlier this year but at least there’s some quality there. Liam Payne, however, has been releasing straight garbage to no fanfare for the past three years, dating back to “Strip that Down” with Quavo, and continuing down the path of feigning maturity and development with music clearly not backing it up, demonstrated by the bisexual fetishism on his delayed debut album and how his collaborations went from relying on Zedd to relying on J Balvin to relying on TikTok stars on a sexually-charged Christmas single that couldn’t even crack the top 50. I have no idea who Dixie D’Amelio is other than seeing her sister’s controversies on Twitter in passing, but it is depressing that a major-label pop star needs D’Amelio to chart this high – and no, given his most recent singles with bigger features like A Boogie wit da Hoodie and Cheat Codes, as well as the shoddy performance of his last Christmas song, I’m not even considering that it’s the other way around. This immediately, in its first 15 seconds, makes sure you know this will be awful, with its tedious acoustic guitar strumming fused with cheap sounding sleigh bells and dated trap percussion, even with little “hey!” gang vocals straight out of 2014 that make this sound a lot less new and fresh than I think Payne thought it did. Also, something about these lyrics sounds really odd when you consider the age gap between the two vocalists. I mean, D’Amelio’s 19 years old, so it’s not like this is illegal in any way (and they didn’t have any chemistry to begin with), but the childlike imagery in the chorus just makes this gross. “Santa saw the things we did and put us on the naughty list”? This has less subtlety than 3OH!3’s Christmas song they released this year. Yes, that happened, and somehow the two washed-up early 2010s pop stars made a “dirty” Christmas song that is miles better than Liam Payne’s, probably because of the more interesting lyrical detail, and that, you know, it isn’t a duet. Check out “KISSELTOE” if you’re interested, it’s really good. I liked their comeback single with 100 gecs too so I’m pretty excited for whatever comes out of 3OH!3’s recent productivity. This song, on the other hand, as well as the upcoming joke, is just Payne-full.

#53 – “No Time for Tears” – Nathan Dawe and Little Mix

Produced by Tré Jean-Marie and Nathan Dawe

Okay, so, I understand the marketing of releasing a single after a long time of not releasing a single and after your singles have all dropped out of the chart, but Little Mix are just being managed horribly here. Why would you release a single in the Christmas season that you want to be big? This isn’t a holiday song in any way and doesn’t even sound like one, so releasing it this early into the Christmas season is just begging for it to be forgotten and eventually flop. Nathan Dawe is an EDM DJ so he doesn’t need this type of promotion as long as he can tour next year and he’s got big features, and Little Mix don’t need any extra singles because they’re still in the top 10 and they’ve branched out to reality television. Just let the girls breathe for a second and enjoy their success. Oh, and this song isn’t just logistically unnecessary, it’s sonically unnecessary, acting as a house-pop club banger with that standard piano sound reminiscent of 90s house that has been adopted recently by DJs, with any of the infectious melodies and genuine drive sucked out of it, especially if Dawe is going to add a Goddamn trap breakdown in the second verse with the most pathetic set of percussion I’ve heard in years on a house track. It’s not like Little Mix are saving this either because the lyrical content is re-tread and their performances are largely unrecognisable from each other and songs they’ve made before. Yeah, this isn’t offensive, but it isn’t interesting, outside of that bridge, but even then it builds up perfectly to a chorus that’s interrupted by a pointless, repetitious interlude. This song isn’t just uninteresting, it’s inherently unnecessary on all fronts, which if anything, is just kind of sad.

#35 – “All You’re Dreaming Of” – Liam Gallagher

Produced by Simon Aldred and Andrew Wyatt

Surely out of all of these songs, I’d have the most to say about our top 40 debut, with Liam Gallagher, former frontman of legendary rock band Oasis,  and his new lead single, right? Well, no, because here are some unfortunate truths: Oasis made two good albums, and they’re not as good as you remember. Liam Gallagher is an awful person who continued to rip off his own band with his new one, without the songwriting ability his brother Noel had. Liam continues to be persistent in his making of enemies for no other reason than publicity. Noel’s reaching out to Liam for the sake of at least reconciliation goes completely unnoticed, ignored or criticised by Liam for no discernable reason other than an on-and-off again facade that’s been going on for more than a decade. Noel wasn’t even that great of a songwriter, relying mostly on musicianship and other people’s melodies he liked to co-opt for his own tracks. None of their solo work has been listenable yet still gathers attention that I imagine is to the dismay of those other band members in Oasis who, ultimately, made those classic albums as much as the Gallaghers. Where’s the praise for Bonehead, Guigsy or even Gem Archer, who stuck it out despite decreasing popularity, utter lack of musical quality and increasing tensions between the people who kept the band afloat until they decided to break up? Both Noel and Liam look at Oasis with regret or admiration depending on how they feel that day but when you look at who REALLY won that Britpop battle tabloids liked to hype up in the 1990s, you realise how far away Oasis was from Blur or even Pulp in terms of not only their songs but having their stuff together. This new song is complete garbage as well, with a pretty awful mixing job, Liam being as distinctively nasal and infuriating as he is with any of his songs let alone his uninteresting ballads, and the COVID-19 charity pandering that comes off as really false, especially since even after Noel released an Oasis track this year as a result of the lockdown – and Liam whining about how he wants to bring the band together to help the NHS – he criticised the honest release of the demo, which Noel wrote and sang himself. It’s also especially telling how the proceeds are only going to benefit charity for its first month of release. Afterwards, Liam and the label can scrape up whatever leftover streams they get from diehard fans. I don’t like Band Aid at all, in fact the song is pretty damn rancid, but at least they keep on recording updated versions to give to modern charities. Liam, you’ve got a bank account the average Manchurian would dream of. This charity single is a fraud, and a pretty hypocritical, immoral one at that.

Conclusion

I think on principle on how fake it is and how awful the song is, I have to give Worst of the Week to Gallagher... but I have a rule against crowning any kind of charity single with that title. At the end of the day, at least something at some point is going to the people who need it. Worst of the Week in that case goes to “Naughty List” by Liam Payne and Dixie D’Amelio, with a Dishonourable Mention to the product that is Griff’s “Love is a Compass”. Best of the Week should be obvious as it’s going to Miley Cyrus for “Angels Like You”, with an Honourable Mention to Megan Thee Stallion’s “Body”. Here’s this week’s top 10:

May I remind you this is the first week of December? Anyway, I doubt Shawn Mendes will make anything through the barrage of holiday tracks, but if he does, that’s next week. Thank you for reading and follow me at @cactusinthebank for more ramblings of this sort, I suppose. See you next week!

[danganronpa-imagines]

Ultimate Forensics Doctor

Hello, ravenrainy! I deeply apologize for the very extended delay. I hope you are doing well and are taking care of yourself! Thank you so very much for your submission! Raven Black is so incredibly intriguing, and her qualities really set her apart! I am aware that you requested a stream of characters to react/respond to her, but I only offer my own original character, Yoite’s response. Please accept my sincerest apologies for miscommunicating! Thank you so much once again for this submission! I appreciate it with all of my heart! (I hope my response is not too underwhelming.)

Please do not copy or reuse Raven Black! She belongs to ravenrainy and them alone! Please do not copy or reuse Yoite Inoue! She belongs to me and myself alone! Thank you!

“Raven is rather mysterious, though I believe she is benign at heart.”

Because of her tendency to deceive others, Yoite is not certain how to feel about her, though she believes Raven must have her own reasons for doing so. Yoite deeply respects her dedication to the sciences and studying, a trait that is difficult to cultivate and habits that are even more difficult to maintain. Occasionally, the Ultimate Teacher would approach the Ultimate Forensics Doctor to try and learn more about her and help her out if she should need it.

She hopes to understand and grow close to Raven, simply because Yoite does not want her to be alone and be misunderstood by the others. Together, they enjoy discussing recent scientific discoveries and innovations.

Name:Raven Black Aliases:Doctor R. Title:Ultimate Forensics Doctor Age:17 years old

Gender:Female ♀️

Height:163cm (JP)              5'3" (ENG)

Weight:45 Kg

Birth Date:January 3rd♑

Chest Size:75cm

Blood Type:O,RH-

Execution available:Anatomical model

Likes:Autopsies,Anatomy,Animals,Video Games,Movies,Travelling,Aesthetics,Sarcasm,Science Jokes

Dislikes:Bugs,Condescending people,Physical effort,Doing sports

– Appearence —- Raven is quite a short girl with a slim figure, medium blue hair and dark eyes. Her uniform is a Navy Blue Tshirt,with a black skirt,black knee socks,black boots and a white lab coat. Her trademarks are her lab coat,a scalpel on her ear and her ‘K’ necklace. She carries drugs and basics First Aid gear in her pockets,just in case emergency strikes. Her hands are bandaged,due to various possible wounds she could receive during a problematic surgery,but she is no less skilled with a scalpel. She wears a ‘K’ necklace at all times.It was given to her by her older brother,Kyousuke,before she left to learn at Hope’s Peak Academy. In a Free Time event,she states that most people mistake that cursive ‘K’ letter with 'R’. Her brother gifted her his first katana on her 13th birthday,when she left to study and work abroad as a Forensics Doctor.

— Personality —

Raven is a calm and collected person who loves harmlessly deceiving people for the sake of Hope. Having a fascination with Sciences since very little,she started studying as much as she could,having a strong will to succeed and an ambition to be the very best and have her brother praise her. Despite her cold and logical façade,she loves subtly mocking people,saying harmless lies and faking her emotions. She never experienced any strong emotion until Hope’s Peak Academy/Killing Game took place,where her emotions finally became too comflicting and forgot her morals,letting her feelings take over her ration,potentially putting everyone in danger,in a Class trial.

– Backstory —

Being a sickly child,she was born with a leg-problem that made her have occasional difficulties in moving or running on long distances. Due to this condition,her parents had her home-schooled,then sent abroad,under better medical care and study conditions,where she legally changed her name to a Western one,so she won’t be embarrassed when people can’t pronounce her name,which she hides. When she was young,her brother had already started school and was barely home,and with her being alone all the time,she often wished to live a normal life.This,however,made her have strong beliefs in HOPE,and her brother became her ultimate HOPE symbol,which is why she would often jest and lie,especially to Monokuma,which greatly irks him.

— Trivia —

She chose her name by herself,due to a long-term fascination with death and Edgar Allan Poe. Her favourite book genres are fantasy,adventure,mystery and horror. Her favourite music genre is rock,but often listens to alternative stuff.

She loves aesthetics,so she tries as much as possible to look perfect to her own aeathetic,and whenever she travels,she takes multiple pictures and edits them,posting them on various social media platforms.

Staying inside for so long,her love for computers took the better of her,and she soon became a computer wizz and addicted to video games and the internet,with all its social networks. The occasions where she’s seen without her phone are extremely rare (she becomes highly irritated and nervous,as it was a great way to cope with anxiety).

Her most obvious quirks are biting her lip on aggressively ruffling her hair while thinking,or tapping her fingers and leg when nervous,waiting,or bored.

— Lab –

In her Lab,you can find all the new state-of-the-art medical technology,anatomical models,research inventions and a large variety of medicine. She often spends her time in her Lab as it became her safe Haven,and she can practice her passion with no restrictions,in peace,and nobody can bother her. As a downside,she often forgets to sleep or eat,which makes her weaker,without realizing.

“Hey~!Name’s Raven Black,I hope we can get along well!If you feel ill,please come to me.I’m a doctor,y'know~?”

“You can all escape if you just kill me…?Then just go ahead and kill me!I have no interesting or helpful talent,and my life spawn is below sea level,so I’m basically dead beat for you.”

“This is a school of Despair,so until I can bring Hope to everyone,I won’t give up!”

“My brother is my Ultimate Hope!I can’t give up,not now!Not ever!

“Fukawa might not be a hydrophobe,but she’s definitely not the Hydrophobic end of a lipidic membrane…”

“You…You killed her…why not me…?Why couldn’t you just execute us together…?I…I…am going to have a panic attack,please excuse me”

“*hysterical laughter*Oh,Monokuma,but this motive is rather hilarious!Do you really expect us to kill for such a pueril reason?Bullshit!”

“Your cortex must be rather…lean…neat…with no indentation…How dull.”

“Have your synapses stopped working?Cause you seem to be even more stupid than usual.”

“There are no words in this world that can discribe my complete disappointment.”

“Yes,yes,dangerous amd scary…But did you die?”

“I lie?Why yes,I do,what gave it away?My unphazed face,or my sarcastic tone?”

“*aggravated sigh*Get this OVER it!This Class Trial is so boring and uneventful!The culprit is obvious,the clues are obvious,the crime is obvious…So stop acting dumb on purpose!”

“Hope…Despair…Hope…Despair….Despair…Despair…Des…pair….Fuck!Brother…Brother I…No!Hope!I fight for the Hope!Hope!!”

“Ah I see…I’m a survivor…I’m Destiny’s Child…Then I guess ny talent was not useless after all.More or less.”

“BITCH,I CUT UP PEOPLE!DO YOU WANT TK END UP NEXT ON MY TABLE?”

“I’m calm…yes,I’m calm…don’t worry,I won’t kill anyone.”

“I just saved your life,so better stop acting like a horny schoolgirl and thank me!You owe me your life,so better start licking my shoes!…Of course,I’m only jesting,but you really pissed me off.”

“The plans was neatly planned,but you chose your allies terribly.I could have helped you escape from here…but no matter.As long as a detective is here,nobody has a chance to get away with murder.”

“I don’t know what love is…but what I do know,is that I care for you,and I will do anything in my power to keep you safe.”

“You useless cancerous cell!Sod off!”

“With Despair eradicated,we can start our new era of hope!”

“You think I’m lying?And so what if I am?Is it affecting you in any way?If not,then seal your mandibula shut and run away.”

“You’re lowering the IQ of the whole School,please,shut up,for everyone’s sake”.

“If I were to kill myself,I’d climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.Instant death.”

If it’s okay,may I have the opinion from: You,Korekiyo,Kokichi,Byakuya,Nagito,Gundham,Chiaki,Kaede,Sonia,Celestia and Rantarou? (I forgot to ask the characyer limit,so just choose who you like from these ones ^^“ Sorryyyyyy) BUT H E Y Have some flowers :3 🌸🌹💐

[borntoscratch-blog]

How do dogfights work?

If you read the first blog post of mine about how dogmen care for their dogs, perhaps you can better understand that dogfighting isn't exactly as it seems. Regardless, I think it is extremely important to preface this post by saying that just as with any industry in the world, there is a dark side and I do not intend to discredit the animals victimized by heinous participants in the sport. Mistreatment of dogs happens in the dark, streetfighting operations - just as cruelty has the potential to exist in every other aspect of the dog world. As such, I am NOT saying that mistreating dogs in the way some people do in this industry is okay. I am attempting to help people understand that there IS a responsible side to this sport and that it is possible to be a humane, compassionate dogman. It should also be noted that this post is not meant to encourage people break the laws. While I disagree that they should have ever been passed, I accept and recognize that they have been. Breaking the law is not okay! Without further adieu, let's delve into some of the big questions people have about dogfighting!

Are the dogs forced to fight?

No! To force an animal to fight would be to have the animal engage in combat against its will. Yet, the very principles of how a dogfight works (all contact at the dog's discretion) makes this idea of force laughable at best.

A dog match begins with two dogs being held in opposite corners. According to Rule 10 of the Cajun Rules (http://sporting-dog.com/select-pages/cajunrules.html), "The referee says, 'Let go', but the handlers must never push or shove their dogs and handlers shall not leave their corners until the dogs are together." This is called scratching and is not forced upon the dog. The handlers let go and the dogs immediately run towards each other.

Some may wonder "What if they hurt the dogs to make them run?" but yet again, this can be disproven. According to Rule 5 of the Cajun Rules, "the referee shall search the person named to wash the dogs and then have him bare his arm to the elbow and wash both dogs in the same warm water and rinse them each in his half of the warm clean water provided for that purpose." Why? To make sure there is nothing toxic in the water that would hurt the dog - or the dog biting him. Rule 6 says, "the referee must search handlers for means of foul play and see that he bares his arms to the elbow before he receives his dog and must keep his arms bare in such a manner during the contest." Simply put, the referee will not allow any foul play to occur that would cause the dog to run because it is being coerced into doing so. This also doesn't make sense, when you consider the principle of gameness.

Gameness is a canine virtue that is essentially the determination to overcome any situation and never back down, regardless of the current state of the body. It was developed in these APBTs by many generations of selective breeding and testing (through these aforementioned matches). This trait is just as innate to the APBT as the border collie's desire to herd and the pointer's desire to point. People often quote that "to deny a dog its nature is to do it great harm" but somehow this quote fails to pertain to the instinctual gameness rooted in a dog's genetics. The idea that these dogs don't want to fight and are forced to is grasping at straws. Watch the following video of a dog in the corner of a pit, up to scratch. Even before he is let go, he is pushing with all of his might to get the other dog! The body language is the same as any other dog when faced with an oulet to fulfill their innate drives. How is this one wrong but the others are accepted?

Some may say it's a matter of "consent" or lack of "comprehension of the consequences." That sure, the dog may want to fight, but they don't understand the repercussions and would no longer want to if they knew what the outcome would be. To this, I bring up the practice of courtesy scratching which is done after a match is over to allow the losing dog to have one more attempt to go at the other dog. This means that AFTER the dog has finished fighting, usually a bit dizzy and battered up, they still have the same desire to go after the other dog. Also, it must be remembered that dogs make negative associations and can easily become traumatized by something. If these dogs "wouldn't want to fight if they knew the repercussions" then why do some of the best game dogs have upwards of five wins? Why do these dogs come home from a long match and still show the same enthusiasm to fight the next time? Just because you wouldn't want to fight for hours in a pit doesn't mean it's cruel or that the dogs wouldn't want to. We recognize certain human individuals have a desire for combat (MMA, UFC), yet dogs that are selectively bred for this same desire are deemed victims of abuse.

How far do fights go? What damage happens to them? Is it to the DEATH?

Since these dogs will fight to the death if they are allowed to, humans have to interfere before that can happen - so no, they are not allowed to fight to the death! According to The Book of the American Pit Bull Terrier by Richard Stratton, "An actual death in the pit is a rarity for several reasons. First, a bulldog, while formidable, is also tough and hard to kill. Second, the rules provide that a dog loses and that match ends whenever a dog wishes to discontinue the contest. Third, dogmen do have a feeling for their dogs and are not going to leave them in to be killed for no reason."

As you can see, measures are taken to prevent death in dogfighting just like they are taken in other dog sports. But what about injuries?

Dogs used in fighting will be picked up before extreme injury. After hours of combat, they may be a bit dehydrated at the end and have a few nice scars to flaunt, but the idea that these dogs skin one another and pull out the other's guts is nothing but lore. In case of accidental extreme injuries, responsible dogmen are equipped with extensive first aid skills. According to California Jack's 2007 Indespensible Tips, the supplies a dogman should have on hand are:

• Lactated Ringers + IV Catheters Fluid Lines, Injection Ports, etc. Purpose: to replace lost fluid.

• Solu-Delta-Cortef (or Solu-Medrol) + Dexamethasone (or Azium) Purpose: Reduces swelling and discomfort.

• Antibiotics Purpose: To prevent infection.

• Salix (Furosemide) Purpose: Prevents kidney problems and aids in urination.

• Banamine Purpose: To relieve pain.

• Leather Shoestring or Equivalent Purpose: to be used with tourniquet to stop bleeding.

• Blood Stop Powder Purpose: To stop bleeding.

• Vitamin K Injectable Purpose: Clots blood and can stop internal bleeding.

• Gauze and Leg Tape Purpose: To secure ringers, splints and braces.

• 2 Full Cotton Rolls Purpose: Setting splints and leg wraps.

• 2 Adjustable Splints Purpose: Secures a broken limb.

• Spray Bottle of Betadine Purpose: Flushes out dirt and prevents toxins.

• Spray Bottle of 1 Quart of water and 25cc of Nolvasan (Chlorhexidine) Purpose: Same as above, but for deep cuts.

• Prepodyne Swabs Purpose: to cleanse the ears.

• Staple Gun (+ Removers) and Cat Gut Sutures Purpose: In emergencies, it can be used to close off serious wounds after they have been cleaned. The shtures can tie off bleeding arteries.

• Betadine Surgical Scrubs or Nolvasan Shampoo Purpose: Will prevent infection during cleansing.

• Scalpal and/or Surgical Razor Purpose: To cut away dead tissue in order to prevent gangreen and infecrion.

• Surgical Scissors Purpose: Same as above.

• Sterile Gloves Purpose: To prevent infection.

• Rectal Thermometer Purpose: To monitor temperature if a dog goes into shock.

• Sterile Vaseline or KY Jelly Purpose: Can aid in temperature taking.

• Super Glue Purpose: Repairing split ears and tails.

• Granulex Spray/Wonder Dust Purpose: Used during healing process to remove necrotic tissue.

• Two clean, dry blankets Purpose: To cover a dog while he is getting fluids and to keep him warm during recovery.

• Two Dozen 3cc Syringes w/ 12 Gauge Needles Purpose: For all needed injections

• Cytomax + Peak Condition Purpose: To provide a dog with life sustaining fluids, electrolytes and nutrients.

• Epinephrine "Epi" Purpose: In emergencies it can revive a dog whose heart shuts down.

Now, some may see this list and say "well, these people wouldn't need these supplies if it wasn't harmful!" Yet, most of these supplies are useful for any pet owner in the situation of a dog with an open wound and are used for basic hygeine and healing. Only a few items are used in extreme emergencies and are there for the rare chance something bad happens, not because it is a regular occurance! A dogman carries splints not because he expects his dog to break a leg, but because he wants to be prepared if worse comes to worst. But anybody reading this should keep in mind that dogmen are there for their dogs during these fights. In fact, in the Cajun rules it says "The dog's owner or his representative shall be allowed at all times to be near his dog and watch to see that no harm is done him," and "The handlers shall be allowed to encourage their dogs by voice or hand-clapping or snapping of fingers."

And, as owners who are there for their dogs, they certainly do not hesitate to pick them up if they are in danger. As John A. Koerner 'California Jack' says, "Assuming that you’re a concerned enthusiast, when your dog is getting overwhelmed, or even if he is winning but the win will cost him his life, his life depends on your judgment. The first step in exercising good judgment is to know when to pick up," and "...if the thought, 'I’d better pick him up,' pops into your mind, there is probably a reason, and that reason is you feel in your bones that he is in danger, and so you need TO ACT on that gut instinct."

Later, he says - in reference to dogmen who don't pick up their dogs at the right time - "instead of tolerating this type of person in our sport, what we should be doing is culling them from it. Therefore, don’t be a player like that, don’t deal with players like that, and make sure you yourself compete with class … and make sure you only deal with players who compete with class like that … and you will take a giant step in making our sport a better one all the way around, especially for our dogs."

If these dogs are well taken care of (see my previous post), have been selectively bred to WANT to fight, are picked up before death/major injuries and receive intense aftercare to prevent infection or worse... then why are people so afraid to accept it?

[abigfatbug]

Adimyos, Land of Greenery and Giants

Guess who got really thirsty for big musclechubs and royalty and fantasy world stuff and wrote something so they could do something about it? There have definitely been some very similar ideas, but they didn’t quite hit on what I wanted, so I’m doing the thing and making my first proper wg story in forever. Basically, fantasy world where most of a certain population of people are b i g.  But I don’t mean like, building size big.  I mean like 6-10 feet and T h i c c.   This is also on Google Docs if you don’t feel like reading it on Tumblr (which is utter crap for looking at longer posts imo)

For hundreds of years, people had known of a southern kingdom with a lovely balance of sun and rainfall, and some of the most excellent tracts of arable land known.  Things grew freely all year round, becoming bigger and more richly flavored and nutritious than they would nearly anywhere else. The kingdom of Adimyos was a rich and prosperous island of impressive size… But sometimes, it could be a bit too rich for its own good.

The fertile lands of heavy rain had been that way for so long that they supported huge, terrifying beasts.  Dragons, monsters, and beings of great power roamed throughout the land, always finding plenty to fuel their immense power and great numbers.  For all history, Adimyos had been plagued with more attacks from savage beasts than anywhere else.

When plant growth peaked in the wettest parts of the year, it could be difficult to keep cities and settlements from being reclaimed or becoming unsightly.  Weeds and vines could set in with alarming speed, along with wild pests and beasts looking for easier meals.  If it wasn’t the larger animals, it’d be hordes of mice and thick swarms of ravenous ants, wasps, and flies. The seas around Adimyos were similarly chock full of fish and all manner of other sea creatures and monsters, which both helped and hindered the great kingdom.  Fishing in the ocean was typically a high-risk, high-reward ordeal.  However, it also made it deceptively difficult to invade the island nation.  Krakens, man-eating whales, and immense sea serpents were only a few problems that unprepared invaders were forced to face. Still, the island of Adimyos was impressively large, even on par with some larger mainland countries. With so much to offer, there were myriads of tales about its exotic meats, fine pelts, excellents spices, fabulous precious metals, and amazing lumber, so the natural roadblocks present couldn’t deter outsiders forever, as they became more resourceful and advanced. Along with attacks from monsters, the natives of Adimyos still had no choice but to fend off attacks from outsiders as well… And these particular needs combined with the abundance of food were some of the biggest reasons for the well-known appearance of the typical Adimyosian. With the fertile southern climate, their hair and skin tended towards darker colors.  With thousands and thousands of years of abundant nutrients and wide food options, having almost never known widespread famine, they were on average some of the tallest people in the world.  To cope with the numerous predators and territorial beasts of their homeland, they had strong bodies and thick bones… especially the men. It was not at all uncommon for Adimyosian men to easily surpass seven feet in height, with the women only inches behind.  Besides height, their sheer mass was impressive as well.  Adimyosian men were famous for being barrel-chested, with thick, burly arms, powerful shoulders, and tree-trunk thighs… and often, no matter how hard they worked their fields or how much they went hunting, their abdomens would sport a soft, healthy gut with a modest wobble and overhang to it.  Nearly just as often, one could see that their backside was large, round, and thick as well, jiggling with fat and muscle as they walked or ran. In Adimyos, gluttony had never been known as a sin… in fact, it was often praised and rewarded.  And that could be seen by how the chunky, burly seven foot and up men of most of Adimyos… were merely the average, sometimes even below average ones.  Stories existed around the world of those who were above average, put in positions of greater wealth, power, and royalty… Although in Adimyos, even being poor wasn’t exactly bad, just not as glamorous as other positions. Even before the times of human invasion, Adimyosian people greatly valued their size and strength in order to hunt and defend themselves against the many savage beasts of Adimyos… and as such, men best filling the criteria were the ones who continually encountered the greatest success and sired the most children.  So, over many generations, the rich and powerful of Adimyos continued to grow in all ways.  They became stronger, taller, and fatter than ever.  Whenever it seemed they could get no bigger, they would somehow manage to push a bit further.  Because of all these men who made up the military and nobility, Adimyos became known as a land of greenery and giants.  Those men could easily stand at eight feet tall or more, and were known to be significantly wider, stronger, and heftier than even normal Adimyosians. Biggest of all were the men of the royal family of Adimyos, especially the king.  As someone who managed the astonishing feat of growing to well past nine feet tall, the king of Adimyos was the largest and heaviest human in the world.  He’d sired multiple children, including four sons.  The three older sons were already following in their father’s footsteps...  But the youngest was something of a late bloomer.

At just two months past eighteen, Prince Tanos was overall a very pleasant young man to look at.  He had long, free-flowing, wavy black hair and a calm, soothing gaze with golden-brown eyes.  His skin was deep tan with a soft, clear complexion, and his features were strong and yet rather delicate, at least compared to pretty much any other men he’d seen in Adimyos.  He was told he was lean, but that was really only from an Adimyosian perspective.  He still possessed the kind of powerful chest and thick arms that men from the mainlands across the ocean would need years to develop. And yet, he was “only”, “embarassingly”, a “mere” six feet tall and 240 pounds, at least when the actual measurement systems of Adimyos were converted.  With so much of his weight being contributed by muscle, his stomach was no more than a mild pot belly over what would be impressive abdominal muscles… at least, to anyone who wasn’t from Adimyos. His brothers were the exact opposite.  The eldest, 24-year-old Masu, was literally over seven times his weight at nearly 1,800 pounds… However, it was a bit tricky to get his true weight, given that he almost always had no less than a couple dozen pounds of food in his stomach.  After a grand feast, there could even be a couple hundred pounds packed inside.   The moment Masu woke up, he would be eating a massive first breakfast in bed before heading to the kitchen to have his main breakfast with the family, as if he hadn’t eaten at all.   Ironically, Adimyosian metabolisms were actually some of the most active and impressive, having developed in response to their active lifestyles of hunting, combat, farming, and gathering, along with how easily they built muscle and rapidly processed nutrients.  There was simply no need for a slow metabolism when food was always so abundant.  However, Adimyosians always ended up massive anyway, thanks to their unmatchable appetites.  An Adimyosian’s stomach was renowned for its unbelievable flexibility and astounding strength, assisted by an almost equally fantastic liver and set of kidneys.  There were many toxins that only an Adimyosian could digest and detoxify, and they could hold their liquor like no one else. So, even though Masu could easily take in a couple hundred thousand calories a day if he had the chance, he had “only” been growing by about 200 pounds a year for the past couple of years.  He’d been growing faster when he was younger, which was why he held hope that his “tiny” brother Tanos would soon hit a massive growth spurt. Masu already had many suitors and great fame merely for being the eldest prince, and it was incredibly easy to see why.  Just like his father, Masu was a nine foot tall behemoth of a man.  He was incredibly wide and powerful, but remarkably handsome. His face had remained strong, square, and angular before Masu finally grew so fat that it simply had to start softening, but this was only regarded as an improvement.  He kept his thick black hair in a long ponytail, largely because that would keep it out of the way while he gorged himself.  Even his soulful brown eyes were said to be beautiful and full of intense charisma and wisdom… if they weren’t locked on to Masu’s next meal.  Like many Adimyosian men, especially those in high positions, Masu typically wore light, loose, flowing clothes that intentionally showed off his proudest areas.  Those areas were his enormous arms, which possessed incredibly firm muscle just below a generous layer of fat, and his billowing stomach.  A far greater spectacle than his arms, his stomach jutted out far in front of him and hung to his knees even first thing in the morning.  It was hardly hairy at all, but it had myriads of wide, dark stretchmarks on display, treated as a sign of great beauty and hard work.  The massive, nigh-bottomless gut was always the first thing Tanos would see of his enormous brother… And usually, he already heard the thundering footsteps or monstrous belches well before seeing him.  Masu’s lower body was also far from small, massive hips and thighs and a wobbling shelf of an ass providing balance to the colossal gut, although it was still so obscenely large and heavy they couldn’t really compete. Despite it all, Masu was actually an incredibly calm and laid-back sort, putting most of his passion into his love of food.  He didn’t even particularly like to hunt or do nearly as much hard labor as his younger siblings, and it was clear that the herculean muscle beneath his fat was really just from generations and generations of ideal Adimyosian genes. In general, despite the seemingly barbaric love of hunting, the ancient traditions of beast taming, and the extreme admiration for larger, stronger figures, Adimyos was actually a deceptively peaceful and progressive land.  In spite of its size, the entire island had been peacefully unified for over a thousand years, with only relatively minor strife breaking out from time to time.  Despite wars with invaders from the mainlands, Adimyos had only ever acted in self-defense.  Never even once had they planned to strike back for revenge, or even simply for pre-emptive discouragement of further invasions.  But that didn’t mean they were anything to be trifled with or taken advantage of.  They’d started up trade and alliances with a few nations that swallowed their pride, apologized, and declared truces, but never even once had any other nation managed to establish a colony or dissuade most of them from their major religion.  Some outsiders were allowed to come live in Adimyos, and were even allowed to do so without having to fully conform with the beliefs and culture of Adimyos, but they had to prove themselves worthy, and agree that they would never disrespect or threaten the culture of Adimyos. For these reasons, Tanos felt deep pride and affection for his country, his people, and his family. For all his life, “tiny” Tanos had wished he could be more like Masu, or his father, or his other two brothers, or even most other men he saw in his life… Although Tanos didn’t know it, he would get his wish very soon....