#i will create world after world if you leave me there for too long
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itsnesss Ā· 3 days ago
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š­š”šž šššš­šž š­š”ššš­ š°ššš¬š§'š­ | minho (xo,kitty) Ɨ fem!reader
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summary | after spilling coffee on the arrogant yet popular minho, you are forced to accompany him to a gala as compensation. although you initially feel out of place in his luxurious world, you uncover his hidden loneliness, revealing a more vulnerable side of him
warnings | fluff, mention of anxiety and insecurity, public embarrassment, disparaty dynamics
word count | 2.1 k
author's note | it would help me a lot if you liked, commented and reposted so that more people read what I write and don't forget to follow me, thanks į”£š­©
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You wake up late, as always. It's not your fault that your alarm clock has the incredible ability to ignore you when you need it most. With your eyes still half-closed and your hair a complete mess, you rush to the campus cafĆ©. Time seems to be working against you, but upon arrival, you breathe a sigh of relief seeing the line isnā€™t as long as you feared.
While waiting for your turn, you check your phone, mentally organizing the rest of your chaotic morning. When you finally get your coffee, you hold it with both hands, enjoying the warmth as you search for an empty table. You're so absorbed in your thoughts that you fail to notice the human obstacle directly in your path.
Everything happens in a second. You trip. Your coffee flies, almost in slow motion, toward someone unlucky enough to be too close. The hot drink lands squarely on that personā€™s jacket, creating a disaster of epic proportions.
"What the hell did you just do?!" a male voice exclaims, full of indignation.
When you look up, you find yourself face-to-face with a guy whose perfectly styled hair frames an expression of absolute horror as he inspects the damage to his jacket. You recognize him instantly: Min Ho, the guy everyone talks about at KISS. His fame doesnā€™t just stem from his flawless appearance but also from his arrogant attitude and apparent disdain for anyone who doesnā€™t meet his high standards.
"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, I didnā€™t mean to," you stammer, pulling a tissue from your bag and trying to clean up the mess.
"'Didnā€™t mean to'?" he repeats, brushing your hand away with disdain. "Do you even know how much this jacket costs?"
"I canā€¦ I can pay you back," you offer, though you know full well that would be impossible.
He looks at you incredulously, as if youā€™ve just said something completely absurd.
"No, you couldnā€™t," he finally says, crossing his arms. "But I have a better idea."
"What is it?" you ask, unable to hide your suspicion.
Min Ho smirks, but itā€™s not a friendly smile. Itā€™s the smile of someone about to dictate your sentence.
"Youā€™re coming with me to a charity gala tonight. Consider it your way of making up for this."
You open your mouth to protest, but heā€™s already typing something into his phone. A second later, he shows you the screen with an address.
"Eight o'clock. Donā€™t be late."
And with that, he turns and walks away, leaving you standing in the middle of the cafƩ, completely stunned.
At seven-thirty that evening, youā€™re standing in front of your mirror, questioning all your life choices. Youā€™re wearing the only decent dress you own, a simple design you bought for a special occasion years ago. While itā€™s nothing spectacular, you hope itā€™s enough to not look completely out of place at the kind of event someone like Min Ho would attend.
When you arrive at the address he gave you, an enormous event hall lit up with golden lights, all your fears are confirmed. The people entering and leaving look like theyā€™ve stepped out of a fashion magazine, and you canā€™t help but feel completely out of place.
"Youā€™re just in time," says a voice behind you.
You turn around and see him. Min Ho is impeccable, as always, in a black suit perfectly tailored to him, probably costing more than your entire wardrobe.
"Not bad," he comments, looking you up and down with a raised eyebrow.
"Thanksā€¦ I think," you reply, feeling a bit awkward.
He offers his arm, and though you hesitate for a moment, you decide to take it. As you enter the hall together, several people turn to look at you. You wonder if itā€™s because of how strange it is to see someone like you next to someone like him or simply because Min Ho has that effect on people.
The gala is as luxurious as you expected. Tables adorned with elaborate centerpieces, a buffet that looks like it belongs on a cooking show, and a group of musicians playing live on a small stage. Min Ho introduces you to some of his acquaintances, all of them just as arrogant as he is.
"Whereā€™d you find her?" one of them asks, a dark-haired guy with a mocking smile.
"Itā€™s a long story," Min Ho replies with a shrug. "But I thought she wasā€¦ interesting."
Youā€™re not sure if thatā€™s a compliment or a disguised insult, but you decide not to dwell on it. Throughout the night, you realize this isnā€™t your world. But you also notice something interesting: although Min Ho acts like he fits perfectly here, there are moments when he seems distracted, almost bored.
At one point, the two of you find yourselves alone in a corner of the hall.
"Why did you bring me here?" you ask, unable to contain your curiosity.
"Why not?" he responds, but his tone is less arrogant than you expected.
"This doesnā€™t seem like something you enjoy."
Min Ho is silent for a moment, looking out at the crowd.
"Itā€™s not," he finally admits. "But sometimes, you donā€™t have a choice."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing," he says, shaking his head as if trying to erase the moment of vulnerability. "Come with me."
Before you can protest, he grabs your hand and leads you out of the hall. You walk through the city streets, illuminated by lights, until you reach a street ramen stand.
"Is this for real?" you ask, unable to hide your surprise.
"What? Never had street ramen before?" he replies, with a smile that, for the first time, doesnā€™t seem arrogant.
You sit next to him, still bewildered by the turn of events. As you eat, Min Ho seems more relaxed, more human.
"Why are you doing this?" you ask, looking directly into his eyes.
"Doing what?"
"Pretending youā€™re perfect, like you donā€™t care about anything or anyone."
Min Ho is quiet for a moment, staring at his bowl of ramen.
"Because itā€™s easier that way," he finally admits. "If people think you donā€™t care about anything, they donā€™t try to get close to you."
"That soundsā€¦ lonely."
He shrugs but doesnā€™t disagree.
"Maybe it is."
For the first time, you see Min Ho as more than just an arrogant guy. You see someone who wears a mask to protect himself from the world, someone who probably has more insecurities than he lets on.
"Well, at least tonight, youā€™re not alone," you say, offering him a small smile.
He looks at you, and for a moment, it seems like heā€™s about to say something important. But instead, he just smiles.
"Thanks."
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basketobread Ā· 1 year ago
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the way you play Lotus is a level of RP dedication that I simply could never achieve but Iā€™m glad someoneā€™s out there doing it good job
this is exactly what everyone has told me ever DBSJJSNSKS i swear im not as annoying in rp game things with other people but when its solo?? anything can happen. anything.
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dunmesh Ā· 11 months ago
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this panel from the world guide of falin being surrounded by other girls while laios is all alone kills me because. that's it. that's the key difference in their journeys.
as laios states himself, he left the village in order to create a home for him and falin elsewhere. a home that won't collapse due to others' hatred and fears like their old home did, a home where they are loved and accepted unconditionally. but as he soon found out, even before earning money, or having walls surrounding him and a roof above his head- what he so earnestly desired was to meet other people who will accept him for who he is as well. instead, he kept being tormented by those around him, shunned and sneered at. his loneliness quickly became all-consuming until he truly had nothing left except for the monsters in the pages of his book, but even that became a target of mockery and destroyed. that's why ever since the day he left the village, he never felt that he truly made the right choice. so he kept running away: unable to resist and unable to accpet.
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and an ocean away from him there was his sister, who never managed to fully fit in herself. but unlike him, she met a person who became a home to her and learned what a true friendship was for the first time in her life. and laios clearly realizes that too when he finally sees falin and marcille together, he can tell his sister obtained the greatest treasure there is on her own- the exact thing he never managed to find anywhere himself, thus coming back empty-handed to the sister he left the village for.
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but when you read this part of the manga, laios's focus is on falin's loneliness, not his own. he talks about how it hurts thinking about all those moments she had to spend alone because he wasn't there for her, so it almost sounds like he's the one who couldn't bear her suffering and therefore decided to not let her go again. but we do get a glimpse of their first meeting after that almost-decade long separation in the manga, and then we see more of that in the world guide and daydream hour- and it becomes abundantly clear that it was falin who was trying to protect and save him from this pit of loneliness and depression he was in.
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so instead of just doing his best to atone for leaving her behind in the village and making sure she is never lonely again, it might also be that laios was desperately clinging to the one person in the world he felt that accepted and loved him unconditionally. those words he used to describe his motivation to stay by falin's side are the exact words she would've used as well; she couldn't bear leaving him behind in this state. in a sense, they were each other's shackles.
but then she did. she died for him and their friends, and ironically enough, it was by leaving him alone like this that he was finally able to stand on his own and put his full trust in others. to have the courage to reveal who he is and give others the opportunity to accept him after such a long time of hiding. it was a long journey, but his hiding finally came to an end when he faced the others after shedding his monster form. and i love that the person who was falin's "home" all those years away from laios, marcille, became just as meaningful to him during their time separated from falin- the first one to find him and show him that he isn't alone anymore. just as he did for her.
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so at the end of the story when falin talks about all the places she would like to go, it's not just that she wants to pursue her own dreams- but that she actually feels free to do so and go anywhere she desires. and one of the main reasons for that is that her brother finally found new people he wants to be with; his own home.
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kitimeq Ā· 17 days ago
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ą©ˆāœ©ā€§ā‚ŠĖšwe canā€™t be friends šŸ¤ xavier ę˜Ÿå›ž ą©ˆāœ©ā€§ā‚ŠĖš
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RE-UPLOAD! The original post didnā€™t show up in the tags, sorry for the confusion :c
pairing ą©ˆāœ©: xavier x reader
summary ą©ˆāœ©: you and xavier had been best friends for years, nearly inseparable since the moment you met. But after one slightly drunken night, everything shifted: you became friends with benefits. You told yourself you could handle it, but as time went on, your heart began to ache. You had to end it, for your own sake. You were in love with him, but you couldn't shake the painful truth: you believed heā€™d never feel the same. Still, what if, all this time, while you were trying to push him away, he was quietly hoping to show you how perfect you two were together?
word count ą©ˆāœ©: 12k. omg. itā€™s LONG, long. grab some snacks and let me entertain you for a while!!
tropes ą©ˆāœ©: 18+, smut, best friends with benefits, miscommunication, unrequired love, not really tho, angst, angst with happy ending, plot with porn, love confessions, needy xavier, obsessed xavier, domestic xavier, i suck at giving tropes i swear i will get better someday, desperate xavier, everything is consensual, the consumption of alcohol mentioned, pet names, xavier was once in love with mc but the myths are not canon in this one!!
authorā€™s note ą©ˆāœ©: GUYS this oneā€™s IT. This idea was blooming slowly in my mind for quite some time. I really hope youā€™ll like it šŸ„¹ also, please be gentle with me, iā€™m not a native speaker of english and Iā€™m definitely not a writer. I like to think that everything i create is just fueled by my passionate delulu. please let me know if you liked it and if maybe youā€™d like to read part 2!! ā™” enjoy your reading!!
!!do NOT read if youā€™re not 18+!!
ą©ˆāœ©ā€§ā‚ŠĖšĀ 
It all started with the simplest of touches.
Your hands grazed, as if by accident. Then your eyes met. He grabbed you by your forearm, or maybe you grabbed him, everything was so blurry in your mind. A touch on a waist, a hand on a chest, and a sudden clash of your lips. You saw fireworks exploding in your mind, sending pleasant thrumming throughout your whole body.
Desperate touches. Rapid breaths. A whisper, maybe two. He said something. What did he say? The sound of your heart was the only thing you could hear.
Your dress came off. You felt lips. Lips marking every part of your body, leaving behind wet paths that made the exposed skin shiver due to the coolness of the air. He went down. Down. Down, and looked at you expectantly. Your head never nodded that quickly and it probably never will again. You saw stars. Millions and millions of them, shimmering under your closed eyelids. He grabbed your hand and put it into his hair. You caressed it gently, savoring the softness of it.
Then, you saw his eyes. Beautiful, deep blues that looked far too innocent for what he did and what he was about to do with you next. He kissed you again and again, and again, and he held you close throughout the whole night, making you shiver, moan, cry, beg ā€” until you fell asleep from exhaustion right in the safety of his arms. He turned your world upside down.
And then came the next morning, when you began to question the entire ordeal. You panicked, thinking about your friendship that you valued the most and Xavier, whom you just couldnā€™t bear to lose. However, when you wanted to put it past you, to blame the alcohol consumed that night, act as if it was just a slip of your judgement, a mistake, a reaction caused by the need of intimacy after being single for a long time, he wasnā€™t having it. He said that he couldnā€™t forget about it, that it changed things, and you blurted out the first thing that came into your mind. You proposed the whole arrangement.
And thatā€™s how, after several months, your relationship with Xavier stayed clear and technically uncomplicated. Friends with benefits. You thought that even if that night did change things, then in this way you could act as if it wasnā€™t a big deal to you. In this way, you wouldnā€™t have to lose him, wouldnā€™t make things awkward. You still acted normally in front of each other, you continued to spend time in almost the same way you were before that faithful night, but with one drastic change.
Almost every encounter since that night ended with you in his bed or the other way around. Hours and hours spend in each otherā€™s embrace, touching and feeling too much, all at once.
And said feelings were what made you finally decide that you couldnā€™t do this anymore. You couldnā€™t continue sharing with him this intimacy, pretending that everything between you remained unchanged. You couldnā€™t do this anymore, knowing that it was all that youā€™ll ever get from him, despite being in love with him for so long.
You knew that he would never reciprocate your feelings. You knew that from the beginning, from the very first touch of your fingertips that night, but you foolishly thought that having him close for as long as he wanted you, would be enough for you. Even if he wanted you only for your body, because you were the easiest choice.
However, your heart was breaking every time you were reminded of one significant fact, a harsh reality that felt like a bucket of cold water in your face.
He will never love you. Because you were not her.
And you would never be.
*ą©ˆāœ©ā€§ā‚ŠĖš
You already had a strategy to end the arrangement. You wanted to take it slow, step by step, with just a bit of pain on your side. You knew it wasn't your best plan, but it was a plan nonetheless. You wanted to end the friends-with-benefits arrangement in a way that would make you both slowly, almost naturally, drift apartā€”so subtly that he wouldn't even notice the change. As for you, you were ready to bear the painful consequences of your actions, if it saved you from the excruciating pain of a broken heart later.
You started with avoiding his kisses.
And it turned out to be a tough job to do, because you didnā€™t realize before how much of a kisser Xavier became during your friends-with-benefits situation. It never really bothered you before, you always accepted every single kiss with content. However, during your last meeting, you were trying so hard to avoid his lips, and noticed that he made it into an almost impossible task.
When you went out one night, he wanted to kiss you three times during hot pot, even though you were sitting across from each other. You thought that the sitting situation was enough of an obstacle, but you quickly learned that he always somehow managed to find a chance to try to steal a kiss. That not only bewildered you, but also made you blush so hard that you had to blame the spicy food for it to not look suspicious. Yet, you managed to stay your ground and ignored his needy attempts at capturing your lips.
You also avoided his lips while you were later watching a movie in his apartment, by pretending that you didnā€™t see or feel his constant gaze on you. You thought that maybe if he saw that the movie engaged you so much, he would finally drop the attempts. Unfortunately, your plan failed the moment his patience thinned, when he started kissing your neck while cradling your body to his. He was grabbing at you almost desperately and you really couldnā€™t escape from every single kiss he was giving you, no matter how much you tried to. And you really tried to.
ā€œWhyā€”why are you turning your face away? A-Ahā€¦ Let me look at y-youā€”mmm.ā€ He said between his moans, and he never once stopped thrusting inside you. It was the day when he took you on a sofa between his soft, plushy pillows with the movie still playing in the background. Your legs were laying on his shoulder, his both hands holding onto them tightly while his hips thrusted deep inside you, making you gasp in pleasure. When you didnā€™t respond and kept your head away, hoping that he would finally stop with his relentless kisses, his hand gently grabbed your face and turned it towards his so that your eyes met. He smiled softly, his cheeks pink and face damp. ā€œYes, there you are. You feel good? You wanna break?ā€ He almost slurred and you adored how quickly he was loosing himself with you, how much he was loosing his composure. When you squeezed your eyes, moaning at a harder thrust and shook your head no, he whimpered. Next thing you knew, he lowered your legs onto the sofa and layed between them, bringing his body closer to yours. Your chests touched and you could feel his rapid heartbeat, mirroring the rhythm of your own. He nudged your head, which was still turned to the side, with his nose.
ā€œGive me a kiss, cā€™mon, starlight.ā€ He kissed your cheek, slowing down his thrusts to a lazy, delicate ones. ā€œI couldnā€™t get a kiss all day, I need it. Let me.ā€ And when you saw his eyes, full of desperation and something that reminded you of adoration, you couldnā€™t keep denying him. Your lips touched his and he didnā€™t let go of them until you came, and later when he began growling straight into your mouth, chasing his own undoing.
It was the last time you met up, and after that you decided that you had to cut it off completely. You couldnā€™t continue being with him like this, not when you knew that he already loved someone else. Being with him this close messed with your head. You didnā€™t want to feel like a convenient second choice and you couldnā€™t help but feel that your meetings were slowly becoming more and more intimate. You had to constantly remind yourself that you werenā€™t together. You made sure to label the change in your relationship properly at the start of the arrangement ā€” still on friendly terms, with occasional mutual pleasure. But the close proximity and constant intimacy started to make the lines blurry in your mind.
And your heart couldnā€™t take it anymore, it hurt every time you reminded yourself that he didnā€™t reciprocate your feelings, and that he never will.
After that movie night you decided that the next step to your goal would be to stop engaging in small talk with him, especially the one that occurred at work.
You worked together at the Hunterā€™s Association, he was one of the best Hunters out there, and you specialized in weapon modification from the safety of your own desk. You wanted to be a hunter once, but with your Evol involving micromodification you guessed that you could be needed in a position that involved working with weaponry. After working there for years, you were passionate about your work and elated to have a job you loved and where you thrived while helping others to the best of your abilities.
Thus, because of the shared place of employment, you saw Xavier almost every day. He was often near your desk, passing by it, putting snacks before you or teasing you with that soft smile of his. So cutting the contact out there was one of the toughest jobs for you, but it had to be done.
When you knew that he would be free, you found a task that needed completion in other departments, so that you will not cross paths. Often, instead of others coming to you to fix their weapons, you proposed to make the trip instead. In this way you were always quick on your feet, going from department to department, back to the workshop and again to the othersā€™ desks. You didnā€™t mind the extra activity, it made you think less about your breaking heart.
And when Xavier managed to catch you from time to time, because he always somehow would, you were trying to appear too busy even for a small conversation.
ā€œWhere are you rushing off to again? I didnā€™t manage to talk to you these past few days.ā€ He said one day when he caught you by your elbow while you were going out of the bathroom. He mustā€™ve seen you go in there and wait for you to come out. He brought you a little closer to himself and looked at your face so intently, that you got scared he could see right through you.
ā€œSorry Xai, Iā€™m just really busy lately.ā€ You answered, maybe too quickly, and were trying to calm your beating heart upon seeing him so close again. Too close. It didnā€™t help that he was in his hunterā€™s uniform, that made him look twice as dreamy. You were so close that you could also smell his comforting scent and see the small scar on his cheek that he got last year after you two tried ice skating for the first time.
The first and the last, for it appeared that you were much better at it than he would ever be, and you wanted to avoid him getting hurt again. It was also before your friends-with-benefits situation, when your friendship was pure and healthy. Your heart squeezed remembering how he grabbed your hand then, and how tightly he used to hold it throughout the whole activity.
ā€œXavier, are you sure you donā€™t want to go back home already? Iā€™m afraid that your cut will scar if we leave it like that.ā€ You said, looking at the bandaid on his cheek, the only remedy for his small injury that you could provide at that time.
He squeezed your hand and still appeared sheepish after his fall. You secretly found him adorable, you never saw him doing something in which he didnā€™t excel in. It was as if he let you see a part of himself that no one had ever seen before. That thought made your chest warmer.
ā€œNo. I wonā€™t let the ice defeat me.ā€ He said surely and you knew that he wonā€™t give up, even if his legs already visibly trembled from exhaustion. You let out a sigh. ā€œBesides, youā€™re holding my hand now, so I feel much safer.ā€ He looked at you, his voice soft and cheeks red, most likely from the cold air. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state made you completely overcome by the feeling of tenderness, and you send him a huge smile, thinking that it was the first time he relied on your protection, and not the other way around.
Little did you know that this smile would catch him by surprise so much that he slipped backwards, this time pulling you down with him. However, your reflexes slightly worked, because you managed to put your hand behind his head, shielding it from the impact with ice. You landed on him with a groan as his hands moved to pull your body closer.
ā€œOh god, Xai, are you okay? How did that happen?ā€ You asked him, trying to lift yourself off of him. You felt him relax his head further into your hand, and when you raised yourself enough to face him directly, he sent you a wide smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. This sight made your heart melt.
ā€œSee, I knew you would protect me.ā€ He replied, clearly referring to your hand behind his head. ā€œMy little savior.ā€ He called you, and when you puffed the air out, annoyed that he could have hurt himself for real this time, his smile turned into a full laugh, his body shaking under yours. He looked so angelic, covered in snow, laughing in a way that was so scarce that you couldnā€™t help but join him in his moment of happiness.
And thanks to your mittens, your hand was left with only a purple bruise from the impact. Still, Xavier couldnā€™t let you forget about it up to the day it disappeared completely, expressing guilt for the minor injury, his sight chasing your hand every time it appeared in his line of vision. He often caressed it softly with his fingers, looking at it with a mysteriously thoughtful expression, whispering ā€œMy little savior.ā€ under his breath. It made you wish that the bruise would never disappear.
You took a step back, suddenly overwhelmed by the memories and the closeness between you. He always invaded your personal space, stood so close that you could almost feel his breath on your face. This time, you had had to cut it out for your own good.
ā€œSā€™okay. Youā€™re always busy but I guess I just got used to meeting you near your desk. Just text me after work? Maybe we could meet up for our book club today.ā€ He said and you swallowed the awful feeling of longing in your chest. Book club was the term you came up with when you both just wanted to sit and read together for hours. Unfortunately, you knew how book club sessions looked like since the beginning of your friends-with-benefits arrangement.
You were sitting together in silence, reading for hours, then talked about your books until you both lost your breaths. A wonderful experience, you adored your little reading sessions, but you knew that recently they always ended with his lips on yours, and with your clothes scattered around his bedroom.
You couldnā€™t let this go on forever. You couldnā€™t go back to being just friends now, and you couldnā€™t keep him so close, knowing that he will never fully be yours. You pitied your poor heart.
ā€œSure, will do. See you around!ā€ You were aware how awkward you sounded, but before he could stop you, you were already off to your another task of the day.
You didnā€™t text him after work, and neither did you reply to his message in time. The next day you send him an excuse that you were tired and fell asleep quickly, and you hoped that he believed it or didnā€™t care enough to question you further.
If the distance hurt you this bad now, you couldnā€™t even imagine how would it feel when he eventually wouldā€™ve left you for her.
ą©ˆāœ©ā€§ā‚ŠĖš
The next stage of your plan involved not answering his texts at all. You allowed yourself small replies from time to time, most often very brief, if the situation called for it. Replying excuses from left to right. Then, you incorporated not picking up his calls, especially on weekends, when he appeared to want to see you the most, because you were absent from the Association building and he couldnā€™t catch even a glimpse of you.
The distance you yourself put between you broke your heart, and you were getting more and more depressed by the day. Ignoring the person you loved wasnā€™t easy, when he was the one with whom you wanted to spend your time the most.
To distract yourself from the situation, you were trying to pass your time differently. You were meeting up with your family and friends, or you started doing things that you were putting off for ages. Everything and anything to fill the void in your heart caused by the absence of the one you loved. The absence forced by you.
It had to be done, you reminded yourself daily. You had to end this somehow, no matter how it hurt you. You had to move on. You couldnā€™t still be in love with him the day he would end up with MC. You knew it would ruin you.
Three weeks passed since your last meeting at the Association and you could feel that Xavier was getting impatient. His calls were more frequent. His messages longer. Sometimes while running away from him at work you could catch how he was scanning the room in search of you. How frustrated he seemed to be. How upset.
You understood it. You were best friends after all, and he also probably needed someone near him to help him get his head clear of MC. You knew that it mustā€™ve been hard for him. But you were sure you were doing the right thing, thatā€™s why you kept avoiding him during the past month, and not only it was the longest period youā€™ve been away from each other since the start of your complicated arrangement, but also the longest time since the start of your friendship. Even when the times were rough, you managed to see each other at least once or twice a week.
You felt the pain of the distance too. Missing him almost every second of the day. But you had your reasons. You didnā€™t want to try to satiate the hunger he felt for another woman anymore.
So every time his name appeared on your phone screen, along with the picture of him shoving two muffins into his mouth at the same time, you closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and waited out the signal, simultaneously praying for and dreading the silence.
ą©ˆāœ©ā€§ā‚ŠĖš
On a quiet rainy day, after a month of ignoring almost every attempt to make contact from Xavier, you heard your phone ping thrice. You sighed and put the book you were reading down, deciding that it was a good moment to reply something short to him in order to slightly ease his worries, and make him feel less alarmed. You wanted distance, but you still sticked to responding from time to time, to appear casual. To let the connection break off less abruptly.
xavier: why cant I see U at all recently.
xavier: why are U not picking up my calls and not replying to my texts.
xavier: are U hiding from me?
you: Of course not, just busy.
xavier: busy for me but not busy for others I know U are going out all the time.
xavier: are U mad at me? did I do something wrong.
you: No, you didnā€™t, donā€™t worry. Itā€™s just me. I have a lot of things on my mind recently.
xavier: could U please have me on Ur mind too? I miss U.
xavier: so bad it hurts
You let out a rugged breath, and decided to stop responding, but then another text came. This time, making your blood run cold.
xavier: going back from a rough mission right now i think i need help.
you: Oh my god, are you okay? Are you injured?
xavier: cant tell U why dont you come and see me for Urself.
you: Fine, I need to see if youā€™re okay. Do you need anything? Food? Medicine? I will pick something up on my way there.
xavier: i just need U
You closed your eyes and hid your face in your palms, then swore it would be the last time. You will go in, treat his wounds and go out. It had to be the last time you allowed yourself to be this close to him, and then you had to cut him off completely. A month wasnā€™t enough to heal your broken heart, and these small sightings wonā€™t make your heart feel any less burdened.
It had to end today.
ą©ˆāœ©ā€§ā‚ŠĖš
When the door opened, he managed to take your breath away once more.
First, only figuratively. His beauty always managed to amaze you. He looked so handsome no matter the circumstances, his hair so fluffy and shiny, his face like that of an angel, with sharp jawline and soft, pink lips almost screaming at you to be kissed. When you met his eyes, you almost gasped at the intensity of his deep blue gaze. There wasnā€™t a thing about him you didnā€™t miss terribly after so much time apart.
Then, literally, when the first thing he did was grabbing your hand and hugging you tightly to his chest, that was still clothed in his hunter uniform. He pressed his face into the crown of your hair and touched the nape of your neck, holding it gently with his cold hand.
ā€œWas the mission that difficult?ā€ You asked, thinking that his reaction to you was mostly due to his need for someone elseā€™s closeness. The need for security. ā€œWere you in danger?ā€ You asked quietly, fear bubbling in your mind.
ā€œNo. I lied.ā€ He murmured and you felt him squeezing you even harder, inhaling your scent with content. His hand started stroking your back, slowly making its way under your thin coat. ā€œDidnā€™t know what else to say to make you come see me.ā€ He said and you hoped that he couldnā€™t hear, nor feel the sound of your erratic heartbeat.
He shouldnā€™t say things like these, it made you feel too hopeful. You tried to push that feeling down, knowing thatā€™s how he normally acted with you, his best friend. You knew that he didnā€™t have a lot of people beside him, thus he treasured the ones that stayed. And that thought made you so incredibly apologetic that you had to swallow the tension in your throat. You hated that you fell for him so hard. You hated that you had to leave him because of it. You hated that you knew, that he would blame himself when youā€™ll leave.
And you started to hate yourself the most because of all of it.
ā€œDid you miss me that much?ā€ You teased, trying to calm yourself with a friendly banter.
ā€œYes.ā€ The answer was immediate. The kiss he placed on your temple as natural as breathing. ā€œEverything and everyone seems to be taking you away from me these days.ā€ He said and you could hear him sulking. Your heart squeezed again, but you knew that you were doing the right thing. The distance was necessary.
Necessary for you to avoid breaking. You had to protect yourself first, you decided. You couldnā€™t remain in love with him forever. You had to move on and in order to do that you had to keep the distance. Which was impossible with him around, when he craved physical touch so badly.
You started to be so mad at yourself for breaking your streak today. You didnā€™t realize how touchy he will be after some time apart and it was getting to your head. You were so conflicted. You felt too much, and that was always the case when you were around him.
He was in love with someone else. Your head was screaming loudly, trying to calm the wave of unwanted emotions.
ā€œIā€™m sorry.ā€ You whispered. I love you, you thought. ā€œBut now Iā€™m here, so maybe I can inspect you for any injuries? You always seem to neglect them as long as they donā€™t make you bleed out.ā€ You managed to free yourself from his hold and missed how his hands went after you for a second. He didnā€™t want you to put distance between you two. Not yet, not ever.
He looked into your beautiful, shiny eyes and nodded without a thought. He couldnā€™t say no to you, not when he saw the still remaining hint of worry in them. Besides, checking for injuries always came with physical contact, and he was so starved. He needed to feel your body close to his. Your hands on him, somewhere, anywhere, everywhere. He felt addicted and craved some kind of relief. He looked after you like a lost puppy, following your footsteps closely, touching the familiar material of your coat that you left on a counter. The distance this past month made him feral, every part of his body screamed to hold you and donā€™t let go.
You sat down on his couch, and patted the place next to you, hinting at him to sit beside you. He was trying not to appear too eager while doing so, and also when he started taking off the upper part of his uniform. He was almost shaking with excitement knowing that you really came to see him. That you were worried about him. The distance was making him sick. Furious. Desperate. Hurt.
He suppressed a shudder when you touched his shoulder and peeled away the material off his back completely. Your hands were pleasantly warm, as always. He bit his lip trying not to gasp from the contact.
He needed more.
ā€œXavier.ā€ He hummed, giddy inside upon finally hearing his name from your lips. He was bracing for your outburst. Couldnā€™t wait for it. ā€œYou said you lied about the mission being hard, while having a fucking gash on your back? I-I canā€™t believe you...ā€ He heard your angry, shaky voice and smirked unintentionally. You were worried about him and he liked that. He liked the attention, when it was coming from you.
Yet, you didnā€™t know that.
You cursed under your breath and went to grab the first aid kit from one of his drawers, and proceeded to patch the man back up, having no idea that he allowed the Wanderer to injure him, to have an excuse to see you. To keep you with him for a minute longer, even if it was only under the pretense of tending to his injuries. He was ready to do anything at this point to keep you from slipping away from his grasp.
If you knew that, you wouldnā€™t be so adamant on distancing yourself.
But because you didnā€™t know, you also didnā€™t predict that after patching him up, he would propose you to eat dinner with him, making up an excuse that he didnā€™t want to be alone with his pain. Later, when you wanted to come back to your place, he mentioned he wanted to play kitty cards, the game you adored. You couldnā€™t refuse him.
During the next hours you spent at his place you both talked in the same way you always used to - about everything and anything, exchanging opinions, stories and everyday thoughts. You laughed together for the first time in weeks, and your cheeks hurt from how much he was able to make you smile. You always had so much fun with him, he was your favorite person in the whole world. You missed him so bad, despite knowing that you couldnā€™t back out from your plan fully. Yet, you allowed yourself a little break, telling yourself that it was in order for your distancing to not look suspicious. In addition, he was injured, and you felt the need to comfort him in any way you could. The gash on his back wasnā€™t that deep, but it worried you regardless.
The atmosphere changed drastically only when he managed to win the next round of kitty cards. You jokingly frowned at him, forging displeasure, and he looked directly at your pounting lips. The time seemed to stop when you noticed that look. He raised his hand to touch your collarbone, caressing it with his fingers, up to your neck and over your cheek. He looked deeply into your eyes, and you noticed how dark his became. You found it fascinating that his soft gaze could change so drastically in a matter of seconds.
His hand reached out to grab your chin and brought your face closer to his. And when he whispered: ā€œCould I ask for a reward?ā€ with that dangerous, needy voice of his, you knew that you couldnā€™t deny him anything.
When your lips touched, you decided that it will be the last time you let it happen. It would be your goodbye, before loosing the feel of his touch. You thought that you could at least make the best of it, get lost in the artificial feeling of being treasured for the last time, before you started the last phase of your plan.
After that, you had to cut off the ties with him completely. No matter the measures. No matter the pain.
ą©ˆāœ©ā€§ā‚ŠĖš
ā€œXavier, m-maybe not today?ā€ You asked when you realized how low he was going with his kisses. You knew what he was about to do, and you hated how much you couldnā€™t contain the sounds that were coming out of your mouth when he was doing it. Besides, it didnā€™t feel like a mutual pleasure anymore, it felt like an act of service and you were not sure you wanted him to pleasure only you.
He looked at you, having already dropped to his knees. He looked ruined, his hair already a mess from the touch of your fingers, lips wet and swollen, shirt off displaying his toned chest, bandaged in the center with caution. He was practically heaving. The sight made you blush.
ā€œWhy not?ā€ He voice sounded whiny, his lips already kissing the inside of your thigh as if he couldnā€™t restrain himself. Every kiss send electricity to your already wet core and you found it hard to think clearly. His hands were grabbing your tights possessively, relishing in their softness. ā€œPlease, let me eat you out. Iā€™ll make you feel good, I promise.ā€ The pleading in his eyes was so apparent. So unfiltered.
ā€œDonā€™t you want to get to the point already?ā€ You offered shyly and he huffed out a laugh.
ā€œWhere are you trying to run off to this time?ā€ It sounded like a joke, but he appeared annoyed. ā€œRelax, starlight and let me take care of you. Please.ā€ You still hesitated. It made him pout. ā€œI need it, please, star. I want to taste you so bad. I didnā€™t manage to last time.ā€ He kissed your knee and put his head on it, looking for the answer in your unsure eyes. ā€œWill you let me?ā€ His pleading tone, along with his desperate gaze was what made you break. You whispered a soft confirmation and it was all it took before he quickly put his mouth on your core, licking vigorously, devouring you like the most delicious thing on the planet.
ā€œMmmm.ā€ You heard him humming, before your own cries, along with the constant tremble of your legs, drowned out any other sound.
He was elated.
ą©ˆāœ©ā€§ā‚ŠĖš
ā€œMmmhā€” Yes. Yes. Hā€”holyā€”ā€ He whimpered at the same time with his thrusts and squeezed your waist harder, moving his hands up and down your back, caressing it affectionately. ā€œYou are s-so warm, so beautiful, fuckā€”ā€ He moaned when you tightened on him. You stiffed a whimper and tried to commit to memory the touch of his strong hands.
He was taking you slowly from behind and the pace was almost unbearable for you. You needed more, and you couldnā€™t stand how romantic it felt when he was this gentle with you. However, at the same time you didnā€™t want him to strain himself, you were aware that the slow pace was reasonable due to the injury on his back. The slow pace did surprise you either way, you thought that after so much time apart he would be quick and rough, chasing his pleasure faster than he normally would. Instead, he acted even more passionately than usual.
The slow pace brought you so much pleasure that you couldnā€™t contain the sounds escaping from your lips. He kept pressing your most sensitive spots, his thrusts slow, deep and precise. His forehead rest on the back of your shoulder, and you could feel his hot, labored breath pressing against your damp skin.
He made you feel so appreciated, and so cared for, and that made you uneasy. More so, with the accompaniment of the things he was constantly saying to you, from the moment you allowed him to touch you today.
ā€œCan you turn around now? Please, my star, I want to see you.ā€ He half-whispered and started kissing your neck, then moving his mouth to every patch of your skin he could reach: your shoulders, back, arms. No place was left unkissed under his relentless lips. You shook your head no, you didnā€™t want to let this become even more passionate than it already was. You positioned yourself facing the headboard of the bed from the very beginning, and you were adamant to keep your stance up until the end. You feared that your eyes would betray you, displaying your feelings for him and that was what made you not lose your composure.
Upon hearing your refusal for the third time this night, he proceeded to voice his frustrations by grunting, and thrust into you a little harder. You moaned loudly, surprised at the sudden change of tempo.
ā€œPlease, starlight.ā€ He begged, his voice achingly earnest. He picked up the pace and you almost choked with how deep he reached inside of you now. You thought that you could never get used to how big he was, his girth filling you up to the brim. ā€œTurn around. T-turn around for me.ā€
ā€œX-xavier slow down, I donā€™t want you to get hurtā€”ā€ You managed to choke out, grasping sheets with your hands for some kind of stability. You closed your eyes when they were turning upwards, biting your lip in the process. He felt otherworldly, but you couldnā€™t help but think about the gash on his back. He shouldnā€™t strain himself.
ā€œThen turn around and look at me.ā€ He repeated and you shook your head again.
ā€œI-I canā€™t, Iā€”Ahā€”ā€
ā€œW-why do you keepā€”Mmhā€”denying me?ā€ His voice came out like a growl and he kept up the fast tempo. Then, he grabbed your shoulder and put his other hand on your lower back, making you bend over more. His thrusts got even faster, making you moan louder. ā€œLike that. Yes.ā€ You breathed quietly. So good. He was so, so good. ā€œI just want to see your face. I need to kiss yā€”Aā€”Ahā€”Kiss you so bad, so, so, so bad.ā€ He thrusted more deeply, making you involuntarily back out from the stimulation, your body almost collapsing, but he quickly grabbed you with his strong arms, and brought you even closer to him. You saw stars and touched one of the arms that held your whole body ā€” from your waist, between your breasts, to your neck. His arm was so hard, so strong. He was huge compared to you. ā€œNo, n-no, donā€™t run away, star. You feel so goodā€”G-God how I missed thisā€”ā€ He held you closer by the second, pressing more kisses to your shoulders, his thrusts becoming quicker, less deep. You were holding back your tears from how good he felt inside you. ā€œI missed you. I missed you. I miss you.ā€ He started babbling and thatā€™s how you knew he was close.
To your surprise, he suddenly pulled out of you completely and grabbed you by your shoulders, turning you around to finally face him. Before you could show any signs of protest, he lowered himself onto his forearms, caging your head between his biceps so that he could have a perfect view of your face. He took his cock in one of his hands and he slipped himself into you again with ease. You shuddered and cried out softly with astonishment.
ā€œXavierā€”!ā€
ā€œYes. Yes, thatā€™s my name.ā€ He started thrusting into you again, this time much slower and more attentive, and looked deep into your eyes. You had nowhere to run, the only thing you could do was to close your eyes, but the sight of him so close made you want to never look away. ā€œSay it one more time. Just once.ā€ He looked ethereal, his silver hair wet from the perspiration that gathered oh his forehead, and his cheeks painted a pretty shade of red. You could see how blissful he felt. ā€œSo p-pretty.ā€ He finally kissed your lips softly. ā€œSo sweet.ā€ He licked into your mouth, deepening the kiss. It made your toes curl, you loved when he kissed you this sloppily. When he released your already swollen lips, there was a string of saliva connecting you. It was all so intense.
ā€œWhy were you denying my kisses?ā€ He kissed you again deeply, sucking on your tongue. His slow thrusts made you go insane. ā€œYou donā€™t like kissing me like this?ā€ He sucked on your lips until they were red and swollen. There was so much saliva. He licked them and kissed them again. ā€œI could come from this feeling alone. So soft.ā€ You were shocked at how much he talked. Was he always this talkative? Or were you realizing it only now, when you knew that the closeness with him would soon come to an end?
ā€œAm I making you feel good? Yeah?ā€ You decided to nod at him truthfully, your moans short, resembling small hiccups. You were lost in the pleasure, you could feel the end approaching. He put his forehead against yours, breathing heavily. ā€œWā€”wow, youā€”you sound so adorable, I wonā€™t last longā€”ā€ He moaned and grabbed your face in his hands, kissing your nose first, then softly your lips.
ā€œYes, yeah, let go. Let go my little star. My starlight, my treasure.ā€ He whispered into your ear, feeling you clench down on him as you came with his name on your lips. You felt him reaching the end quickly after you, he shuddered, his mouth opened, and he released into the condom with a low moan. Still cumming, he took your face into his hands and kissed your forehead gently. When you both were still coming down from the high, breathing heavily, he began stroking your hair, pushing it out of your face, and kissing your cheeks.
What in the world was all that?
God, you couldnā€™t do this anymore. You couldnā€™t let this keep up, it felt too real, too romantic, and your heart really couldnā€™t take it. Not when every time you were together like this you keep thinking that he would like you to be someone else instead. Did he imagined her under him this time? You trembled, scared because of that thought, but the things he was saying made you feel that it really could be the case.
Your breath came out shakily and you took his muscular forearms in your palms and grazed them gently with your thumbs. You let yourself feel for the last time how warm his body was, how pleasurable his weight on top of you. You kept your eyes closed to not let him see your tears, but you couldnā€™t stop one from going down your cheek.
And of course he saw it as soon as it appeared. He seemed to always look at you when you wanted him to ignore you the most.
He kissed it off, swiped the wetness with his thumb and proceeded to kiss your temple.
ā€œWhy are you crying?ā€ He asked softly, his eyebrows furrowed. ā€œDid I hurt you?ā€ He appeared so concerned, and you felt the shivers going down your spine.
Yes, you wanted to scream.
ā€œNo, of course not.ā€ You said instead. Because it was your fault for feeling too much. ā€œIā€™m okay, just tired.ā€ You lied straight to his face. He send you a small smile and kissed your closed eyelids gently.
And when he shifted and pulled out from you slowly with a little hiss, you let out a sigh and knew that your time with him had to end now.
But before you could lift yourself up, he hugged you from the side and put his head on your chest. He was listening to the sound of your heartbeat, and you already knew that it had a soothing effect on him. His hand started caressing one side of your waist, his hair touching your chin, his scent overlapping you. You could feel his heartbeat on you, fast but steady. Another tear escaped from your eyes. You had to run away. You couldnā€™t take the closeness anymore. It was too painful.
ā€œXavier, Iā€”ā€ You swallowed the sob forming in your throat. Your voice came out rusty. ā€œI really need to go.ā€
ā€œAlready? Stay with me for a little while longer.ā€ He squeezed you harder to himself, showing no intention of releasing you from his hold. You hated that you needed to cut short such a vulnerable moment with him. ā€œThe night is still young. I thought we could maybe watch something together? Or bake these cinnamon cookies you like? I practiced, they taste and look almost perfect now.ā€ You closed your eyes hard, moved by his thoughtfulness, and you almost sobbed audibly if it wasnā€™t for your hand quickly covering your mouth.
But he felt it, and it made all the muscles in his body tighten, as if he was struck.
ā€œStar?ā€ He loosed his hold on you and quickly studied your face. ā€œWhatā€™s wrong?ā€ His eyes became huge, filled with worry. And that concern on his features was what finally made you run.
You raised gently and pushed yourself from him, starting to pick up your scattered pieces of clothing. Your hands shakily put the panties and your sweater on your trembling body, not once looking Xavierā€™s way. He was waiting patiently for your answer.
ā€œI canā€™t do this anymore, Xavier.ā€ You replied, feeling more comfortable now that you had some clothes on. You couldnā€™t meet his eyes, but you heard him standing up from the bed.
ā€œDo what?ā€ He sounded puzzled. You heard him grabbing and putting on some pants hastily, clicking his belt in place. As if he was preparing to run after you. ā€œDid I do something wrong? You didnā€™t like it today? Was I too intense?ā€ You had never heard him speak so quickly, and the panic in his tone was a rare occurrence too.
ā€œNo, itā€™sā€” I am at fault here.ā€ You answered truthfully, and you took a couple steps away from him. You wanted to run as fast as you could but for the love of God, you couldnā€™t locate any other pieces of your clothing. Your eyesight was clouded by unleashed tears. No, not now, you couldnā€™t let them fall until you were in the safety of your home.
ā€œBut you were perfect.ā€ His voice carried more panic by the second. ā€œWe could change some things. You could tell me what to do differently, everything works with me as long as I do it with you.ā€
You suddenly remembered the beginning of your night, and rushed to his living room, were you finally found your pants.
ā€œNo. No, and please stop trying to persuade me. Thisā€”this friends with benefits thing, it ends now.ā€ You uttered surely, now fully clothed. You turned around and finally laid your eyes on him, and saw him wearing only black jeans and a miserable expression on his face. God, he still looked perfect. He almost shined, the workout clearly visible on his face, his hair, his lips. Your resolution almost wavered.
ā€œOkay. Okay, of course, Iā€”I understand.ā€ He answered quickly, and you felt a slight pang in your chest at how easily he took the news. This whole time you were so easily disposable. ā€œBut please stay. I want to spend some time with you, I havenā€™t seen you in such a long time.ā€ He took a careful step towards you, and you wanted to bolt then and there. ā€œPlease, stay.ā€
ā€œNo, Xai, Iā€”ā€ You paused to take a breath, trying not to crumble in front of him. His worried expression felt like a knife to your chest. You were his best friend, yet here you were, clearly wanting to run away from himā€”how could you expect him to feel anything but hurt upon such a sight? You felt incredibly cruel. ā€œI really canā€™t. I think I need a break from allā€”all of this.ā€
ā€œYou mean from me?ā€ He didnā€™t wait for your answer, the thoughts in his head seemed to go quicker than lightning. ā€œNo, please, I swear that if you donā€™t like it then I wonā€™t touch you anymore. I swear.ā€ You hated how upset he sounded. You closed your eyes for a second and fresh tears slipped away. You couldnā€™t keep them from falling anymore. ā€œYou know how much you mean to me. Donā€™t make me stay away.ā€ He looked as if you were tearing his heart out, his posture slumped, hands shaking. How you wished you could take them into your own and warm them up.
ā€œI have to.ā€ Your voice came out whiny. He stepped closer to you, keeping his arms in front of himself.
ā€œBut why?ā€ His question was quiet, nearly a whisper. He couldnā€™t help but wonder, if you really wanted a break from him, then why were you crying as if you didnā€™t want to go?
ā€œIā€”ā€ You stopped yourself before going as far as to utter a confession. He couldnā€™t know. Not now. Not ever. ā€œThisā€” This situation, and how our friendship looks like right now itā€™sā€”itā€™s so wrong.ā€ You opted for a response that was the closest to the truth.
ā€œItā€™s not.ā€ He replied immediately. ā€œNot for me.ā€
ā€œWell it is for me. Friends donā€™t sleep with each other, Xavier! We messed up so bad this time and Iā€™m afraid we canā€™t let this past us.ā€
ā€œDo you regret it that much?ā€ His voice was losing itsā€™ strength, and he seemed so utterly hurt. Meanwhile, you were just trying to protect yourself from feeling even more pain. How could you make him understand without confessing to him? You didnā€™t really know because you were always honest with him before. He was your safe place.
And to think that everything could be avoided, your friendship left unscratched if only you could control your feelings better. But you had no idea how to stop loving him so deeply, when he was everything that youā€™ve ever dreamed of.
ā€œI should. I know that I should, it was never going to end well, Iā€”ā€
ā€œStay. Please, starlight, stay. At least for one more night, let me hold you just for one moreā€”ā€ His arms went out to grab you and you flinched, taking a few steps back. His jaw tightened.
He was always afraid that he will see you run away from his touch. He felt as if his nightmare became reality - the thought of loosing you too much for him to bear.
ā€œXavier, I canā€™t!ā€ You trembled all over. Why did he make this so hard for you? ā€œI canā€™t do this with you anymore, canā€™t you understand how much it hurts me?ā€ The truth was at the tip of your tongue, craving to be spoken out loud.
ā€œWhy? Why does it hurt you? The only one who has a good reason to be hurt is me, you avoided me, ignored me, and for what? If you just talked to me honestly one timeā€”ā€
ā€œYou are in love with someone else!ā€
The silence that followed was unbearable and seemed to last ages. Slow ticking of the clock was the only thing cutting through the tension, reminding you that the time didnā€™t stop, even if your heart seemed to do so.
You turned to him, the tears falling from your eyes in cascades now and your chest was coming up and down rapidly with how fast you were breathing.
The tears run down your cheeks quickly, making your vision less blurry. How you wished that they stayed in place, if that meant that you wouldnā€™t have to see Xavierā€™s pained expression, that quickly changed into one of utter confusion. You were shaking with how much you were feeling, your frustration pooling out of you in a form of shaking hands and bitten lips.
ā€œI canā€™t continue being like this with you when I know that youā€™re in love with her! And I get it! I really do. Sheā€™s so wonderful, and so, so lovable. And I could never be her, no matter how much you would want me to be. I just donā€™t want to be a replacement anymore.ā€ You continued, the desperation in your voice almost making you wince. You sounded pathetic and felt so embarrassed for it. You felt as if you were loosing the ground beneath your feet.
ā€œWhat?ā€ He said completely stunned. He wasnā€™t moving a single muscle. ā€œWhat on earth are you talking about?ā€ He hissed, and took a step towards you, and when you shook your head and wanted to bolt through the door, he quickly grabbed you by your wrist and pressed your body close to his. You gasped at the contact, so sudden and forced. ā€œNo, stop running away from me!ā€ He raised his voice, still holding your wrist tightly. Youā€™ve never heard him sound so irritated. ā€œSpeak.ā€ You kept your head low, when he was desperately trying to catch eye contact, but you couldnā€™t look at him right now. Not when your true feelings were basically flowing to the surface.
ā€œAbout what? You really thought I didnā€™t know about your feelings for her?ā€ You struggled to keep your voice from shaking. ā€œXavier, I know, and I knew from the very beginning, and you really donā€™t have to explain yourself to me. I really understand.ā€ You tried to free your wrist from his grasp, but he held it too tightly. You needed to run, this conversation wasnā€™t supposed to happen, you didnā€™t even have a reason to be mad at him. You couldnā€™t blame him for not loving you romantically, nor for feeling this way towards someone else. You were only friends, and friends should be happy for each other when they find someone dear to them, not sick of the idea of loosing the other to someone else.
ā€œIā€™m afraid you actually donā€™t understand anything.ā€ He sounded almost defeated. His voice back to itā€™s soft tone, but his hold on you unrelenting.
ā€œItā€™s really okay, Iā€”ā€
ā€œNo.ā€ He scoffed. You finally gained enough courage to let your eyes meet his and you were instantly appalled at how furious he appeared to be. ā€œItā€™s truly NOT.ā€ He released your wrist and put his hands up to stroke his hair back. He breathed out loudly. ā€œWho the fuck are you talking about?ā€ He asked, confusion and irritation taking over his features completely. You never saw him wear that expression while talking with you.
ā€œOh, donā€™t make meā€”ā€ You cut off, seeing his furious glare. You took a deep breath, stepped back from him and touched your cheek, trying to swipe the wetness caused by your tears. You failed, they were still coming down, one by one, making your efforts futile. ā€œMC. You know that I mean MC.ā€
ā€œYou have to be fucking kidding me.ā€ He groaned and let his head fall back. He covered his face with his hands for a second, and when he looked at you again, you couldnā€™t read his expression correctly. ā€œWho told you about it? Where did you get it from?ā€
ā€œJeremiah.ā€ Thatā€™s all he needed to know. And apparently it was enough for him to grasp the situation. He laughed humorlessly and shook his head, his hands squeezed tightly into fists by his sides.
ā€œI will strangle him this time. I swear, I willā€”ā€
ā€œOh, please, Xavier, stop! Whatā€™s so wrong about me knowing? I was glad that someone finally enlightened me!ā€ You couldnā€™t believe that he was so angry at you for knowing such an important thing. Not when from the moment Jeremiah said that he had a thing for MC for a long time, you wondered why he kept that a secret from you. ā€œYou never even said a word about it even though I thought we were best friends. I had to learn from someone else and that already hurt.ā€ You wanted this conversation to be over. You wanted him to admit to it already and let you go away, with a broken, but at least free heart.
But he had different plans.
ā€œHave you maybe thought that I never said a word about it simply because it wasnā€™t true?ā€ He asked carefully, his voice still angry. ā€œI just canā€™t believe you thought that I loved someone elseā€”ā€
ā€œWhat?ā€ Your mind went blank. You needed a moment to collect your thoughts. ā€œWhat do you mean itā€™s not true?ā€ You sniffed quietly, confusion taking over your face.ā€œB-But Jeremiah said that you had a past with her andā€”ā€
ā€œI did. I had feelings for her once, but that was literal lifetimes ago!ā€ His irritation didnā€™t ease in the slightest. ā€œI had feelings for someone who looked similar to her. But sheā€™s not the same person anymore, and even if she was I couldnā€™t possibly fall in love with her. Not now, not ever.ā€ You stopped in your tracks, trying to analyze everything he was saying to you and failing miserably at it. You looked at his face, your expression puzzled, searching for an answer there, hidden between his beautiful, soft features. It shocked you to see that now he started to calm himself down, gaze genuine, an image of complete transparency.
You couldnā€™t wrap your head around the idea that you were mistaken. All this time, when you thought you never stood a chance, when you thought that he loved another, when you wanted to let him goā€”
ā€œYouā€™re not in love with MC.ā€ It wasnā€™t a question anymore, your voice quiet while you were trying to process that thought. He mustā€™ve seen how you fought with the thoughts inside your head, because he released a groan and took a step towards you. You unintentionally took one step back. He frowned.
ā€œOf course Iā€™m not.ā€ Voice sweet like honey, stance sure, his eyes searched desperately for yours. He looked at your face, covered in tears and his eyebrows furrowed deeper, hating how upset you seemed and didnā€™t know how to reverse it. ā€œHow could I ever be, when your face is all I can see, every time I close my eyes?ā€ He uttered looking at you with such devotion that it almost made your knees buckle.
Complete silence took over your thoughts after his confession. You didnā€™t know what was happening.
But fortunately, his mind finally started to piece everything together in a picture, that although was beyond frustrating to think about, was giving him so much hope for something he thought he already lost.
He allowed himself to relax, took a deep breath and finally decided to drop his inner shackles, letting his emotions flow out of him without restraint.
ā€œYou are the one that I love.ā€ He said clearly, not moving a muscle. He wondered if you could see the quick movement of his chest, with how hard his heart was trying to escape through it to reach you. Whereas, you felt as if yours stopped moving completely, along with the time around you, not ready to believe that this was truly happening. ā€œIt was you from the very beginning. I adored you since the day I first saw you.ā€ He continued, his gaze piercing into your face, slight confusion visible on his features. ā€œAnd I thought that was obvious? I wasnā€™t exactly the best at hiding my feelings, especially after I told you about them the first night we spend together.ā€
You blinked slowly. Once, then twice.
Your head hurt. You couldnā€™t wrap it around everything he was saying. Xavier was in love with you? And he already told you about it? You were so confused that the only way you knew how to react was with denial.
ā€œYouā€”You didnā€™t. I didnā€™t know, you are not being serious.ā€ He shook his head in disbelief.
ā€œI did. You really donā€™t remember?ā€ His tone softened, and he waited a short second for your answer, but couldnā€™t contain his nerves. ā€œIt was the night I kissed you for the first time, thinking that would be the last. But you reciprocated.ā€ His eyes gleamed in the moonlight, and you found yourself holding your breath, afraid even the slightest sound might interrupt the flow of his confession.
ā€œYouā€”You kissed me back, and let me do things to you I only ever dared to dream about before.ā€ He took another step your way, a small smile grazing his handsome face. ā€œAnd the confession slipped out of me so naturally before we even reached the bed.ā€ He briefly recalled that fateful night, describing the conversations you forgot, but longed to remember since that very moment.
ā€œYou didnā€™t reply, but you responded nicely to my touch, so I thought that meant that you wanted me too, that maybe youā€™d accept me. As your beloved. Your soulmate.ā€ You brought your hand to cover your mouth. You couldnā€™t believe it. ā€œBut then in the morning when you woke up, you were panicking. I tried to reassure you, but you werenā€™t listening to me.ā€
That part of the story you knew by heart, him telling you that he couldnā€™t forget, didnā€™t want to forget. Back then you didnā€™t connect it with anything close to confession, but more with the change in your relationship. You really didnā€™t want to jump to any conclusions, you didnā€™t even dream about him loving you, when you though that he loved MC. Insecurities and false assumptions completely clouded your vision.
ā€œAnd when you proposed staying friends, with the bonus of intimacy, of course I took the chance. I thought you remembered my confession and didnā€™t reciprocate my feelings, but I was so desperate that I would take anything you were willing to give me, even if it didnā€™t involve your love. Iā€”ā€ he cut off, blush flushed over his cheeks, up to the tips of his ears. He took a shaky breath. ā€œI was clinging to the hope that maybe through the new shared intimacy I could show you how much you meant to me. And maybe, maybe someday you would start feeling the same, when you realized how good we are together and how good I can be for you.ā€
ā€œXavierā€”Oh my god.ā€ You breathed, your hand still covering your mouth, your eyes never leaving his face. His beautiful, starstruck face, now so full of confusion and unspoken hurt. ā€œBunny, Iā€™m so, so, so sorry. I had no idea, Iā€”ā€ Your voice practically a whisper, you were still coming to terms with the fact that your feelings were reciprocated. And that you were the one who complicated things between you. ā€œI donā€™t remember anything you said to me that night. I couldnā€™t even hear you through the sound of my own blood thrumming in my ears, thatā€™s how drunk I felt. How overwhelmed after our first kiss.ā€
The alcohol consumed that night also wasnā€™t of big help. You were a lightweight and you drunk only occasionally, so the few drinks you had already made you feel dizzy. Mixed with the intensity of your emotions, it overwhelmed you so intensely that his touch was all you could remember from that night. But now you could make it all alright.
ā€œI only remember your touch, the things we did, and our conversation the next morning. I remember touching your hand and initiating the kiss, and my tipsy brain just thought that you went with it to forget about MC.ā€ You said truthfully, letting it all pour out of you. Your cheeks burned with the embarrassment of admitting how desperate you were for him, that the thought he loved another didnā€™t stop you from having sex with him.
Then the blush deepened from the realization that from the very beginning the only one he was thinking about was you.
This thought made your head spin, the happiness slowly bubbling in your chest. Your whole body trembled.
ā€œThatā€™sā€” Fuck. You really donā€™t remember.ā€ He shook his head again, realizing how deep the misunderstanding reached. ā€œYou didnā€™t initiate anything. I was the one who kissed you first.ā€
ā€œNo, Iā€”ā€
ā€œYes. You touched my hand, smiled at me contentedly and said some things and Iā€”I just couldnā€™t restrain myself any longer.ā€ This time you were the one who started approaching him slowly. You needed him close. Always. And you realized that now you didnā€™t have any reasons to deny yourself that lack of distance. ā€œYou looked so soft, so open and kissable, and I just went for it. And then you reciprocated.ā€ The light in his eyes started sparkling when he noticed that you were finally coming closer to him. He reached out his hand for you and you took it gently, still shaking from the unspoken emotions.
ā€œI canā€™t believe it. All this time I thought that you were in love with someone else.ā€ His hand was warm, the touch electrifying. You squeezed his hand and intertwined your fingers together. You saw how between your clasped hands, his Evol started shining brightly, shading soft light upon your features. It was a sign that he was excited. ā€œI tried to put a distance between us, end this intimacy because I thought that I was just a second best for you. An easy distraction.ā€
ā€œHow could you think that? Almost from the moment I met you, I have loved you passionatelyā€”ā€ He brought you even closer together, pulling you by your intertwined hands, and put his other hand on your cheek. He swiped the reminder of your tears with his fingers, looking into your eyes with a devotion so apparent that it took your ability to form coherent thoughts. How did you manage to miss the way he was always looking your way?
ā€œX-Xavier.ā€
ā€œI couldnā€™t even think about anyone else even if I tried to. You occupy my every thought. How could I ever find a place for somebody else in my heart when you fill the space out completely?ā€ Everything that came out of his mouth was laced with impatience. He was trying so hard to make you understand him, and the intensity of his emotions. He couldnā€™t psychically hold it inside anymore, he restrained himself for so long that he felt as if all of his walls finally crumbled. He needed you to know everything.
ā€œI love you, starlight. Iā€™m so in love with you that I couldnā€™t contain that feeling inside anymore. I couldnā€™t even spend five minutes in your presence without trying to touch you, to kiss you, to hold you. My whole body longs for you constantly.ā€ He said, thinking off the months after you started being friends with benefits. How at first he wasnā€™t sure how much he could take from you, and then, when he noticed that you didnā€™t mind the affection outside the bedroom, he couldnā€™t contain himself. He kissed you every time he had a chance, he touched you everywhere he could, he was trying to stay away from you as little as possible. Despite thinking that you did not reciprocate his feelings fully, his love for you flowed out of him naturally, every look and every touch laced with unconditional devotion.
During the period of your silence and avoiding him, he thought that it was because he finally crossed a line. He let his feelings out too much, he finally made you uncomfortable. He was starting to act as you lover, not as your friend and it wasnā€™t what you agreed to. He thought you still didnā€™t love him and maybe that was a sign that you never will. And even if that could be the case, he still couldnā€™t let you go.
And it appeared that he didnā€™t have to.
That you were not uncomfortable, but unsure.
That it was all a huge misunderstanding.
And the words that came out of your pretty, little mouth next, almost brought him to his knees.
ā€œXavier. Xavier me too, Iā€”ā€ You stuttered, completely overwhelmed by how much you were feeling. You squeezed his wrists, and looked deep into his beautiful, hopeful eyes. ā€œI love you too. And I fell in love with you long before our first night together. I just thought that it was wishful thinking, because your heart was already taken by someone else. And that I could just stay beside you as your friend and that would be enough. And then share your bed from time to time, if that meant that I could hold you close, be on the receiving end of your affection.ā€ You said and raised on your feet to place a quick kiss on his lips. He chased after you instantly, despite appearing stunned. You noticed his hands were shaking.
ā€œYou really mean it?ā€ He asked, leaning towards you, kissing your lips again, this time for longer. He had trouble keeping his mouth away from yours, especially now, that he knew that every one of your kisses was filled with love. ā€œAm I not dreaming this time?ā€ You smiled and stroked his hair affectionately, petting his head, wanting to convey your feelings in every way possible.
ā€œXavier, I love you.ā€ You repeated, grabbing his head in your palms and looking deep into his eyes. Your voice was strong, leaving no room for uncertainty. ā€œI love you so muā€”ā€ He didnā€™t let you finish that sentence, because he quickly picked you up and spun you around, holding you in his arms. You giggled and put your arms around his neck, holding him tightly, his face buried in your neck. When he stopped, he quickly found your lips again and that kiss felt groundbreaking.
He held you close to him, one hand squeezing you by your waist, and the other holding your jaw gently. His brows furrowed in desperation and his kisses were slow, sensual, sending pleasant shocks throughout your whole body. His tongue made an appearance, and he tasted you in a way that made your legs feel like jelly. He licked into your mouth, grunting lowly, his fingers placing a strand of your hair behind your ear, then tracing patterns on your warm cheek. When you opened your eyes for a second, you could see that the tips of his ears were red. The blush spread through his cheeks too, making him look so adorable.
ā€œIt does feel like a dream.ā€ He breathed between kisses. ā€œAnd sounds too good to be true.ā€ He captured your lips again and you smiled into his mouth. Your heart was about to burst.
ā€œI love you.ā€ You repeated, basking in the feeling of finally being able to say it out loud, be open with your emotions. He released your lips and kissed your forehead. You looked up, and he placed his forehead against yours, his eyes closed, a wide smile adorning his face.
ā€œDonā€™t stop saying that. You make me so happy.ā€ He said quietly, and you whispered the confession once again, making him sigh shakily.
ā€œI was so stupid. I shouldā€™ve asked you right from the start if what Jeremiah said was true.ā€ You said and hugged him more tightly. ā€œI shouldā€™ve told you sooner.ā€ You placed your head on his strong chest, your ear touching his bare body, listening to his fast heartbeat. Your hands were hugging his waist, mindful not to touch his bandaged back.
ā€œNo, I foolishly thought that telling you once would suffice. I forgot that you drank that night and that couldā€™ve clouded your memory.ā€ He squeezed you harder to himself and started back away with you in his arms, until the back of his legs touched his couch. He feel into it, holding you close, making you sit on his lap. ā€œTo think that I could have you soonerā€”ā€ He looked into your eyes, as if searching for something.
ā€œYou had me before, and you have me now. My heart, my body, my soul.ā€ You positioned yourself more comfortably, placing your legs on both sides of his waist, and took his face into your hands. He closed his eyes at the contact, and started to caress your body, from your waist, down to your legs. He squeezed the plush of your tights and let his head fall against the couch pillows.
He couldnā€™t believe that this was happening. He prayed that this wasnā€™t a dream, that all of the things your were telling him were true. His chest vibrated pleasurably, incredible warmth spreading through it. His heart beat so quickly, and so loudly that he thought it was the first time he felt itsā€™ beat so intensely himself. Your words made him feel drunk with emotion.
He opened his eyes to look at your face.
He almost choked with how beautiful you were. How divine, sitting on him, caressing his shoulders, smiling at him with the stars in your eyes. He looked at your lips, full and swollen, bearing the signs of his kisses. He looked at your neck, delicate and unmarked, and he stroked it with the back of his hand, wanting to change that fact immediately, knowing that now he was allowed to do that. He switched his gaze to your eyes again and drank them in, basking in their light, wishing that this moment could never end. Or maybe it should, so it could become your new beginning.
You were his treasure. His star, his light, guiding him through life, making his existence worth pursuing. You showed him that the world can be beautiful, despite itā€™s overbearing cruelty. You were his salvation, his safe place, his one and only, showing him every single day that he mattered, that he was not a lost cause, or a villain in disguise. You taught him that he was capable of loving so intensely and now, that he was loved as passionately in return.
He doubted his worth, but the only way he knew to prove his love for you was by protecting you with his very life. You had no idea, but his sword, now a symbol of your bond, was yours to commandā€”and you were the only reason he continued to wield it.
ā€œWhat are you thinking about?ā€ Your voice was not more than a whisper, your eyes still looking into his starry ones, losing yourself in the deep blue. You loved them, how magnificent and expressive they were, and you swore to yourself to tell him about it every day.
He seemed to get out of the trace he was in, and his eyes softened, still taking you in. He smiled and took your hands into his, and kissed your knuckles, his kisses gentle and long-lasting.
ā€œYou.ā€ He replied shortly, his voice gentle and reassuring. He put your hands on his shoulders, making you hug his neck with them. You complied and put your whole arms around his neck, bringing your bodies closer. One of his hands touched your waist, caressing it delicately, and the other one stroked your hair, admiring itsā€™ softness. His eyes never left yours. ā€œAlways you, my starlight. Then, now, and till the end of my days. I will always carry you in my mind, and in my heart, to be able to reach you, no matter the distance.ā€ You could feel his breath on your face with how close you were to each other, and he gazed at your open lips, which were already waiting to be kissed senselessly. ā€œI love you, as I never loved anyone else in my life, and I never will again.ā€ His lips captured yours in a kiss so soft, yet so desperate, and full of adoration, that you felt a single, happy tear escape from your eye. He deepened the kiss and held you throughout the night, kissing you and touching you, never wanting the moment to end, the warmth of your skin to become a memory.
It all started with the simplest of touches, and it never truly ended. The spark you ignited that first night has never faded. Since the moment you met, it has burned brightly between you both, a light so powerful that it could be seen across the vastness of deep space. Everlasting and exquisite, just like the different lifetimes you both had ahead of you, always finding each other, as if guided by itā€™s warmth.
ą©ˆāœ©ā€§ā‚ŠĖš
thank you for your time and please let me know if you liked it!! i was thinking of writing more for this au, maybe from xavierā€™s perspective? how they met and how he fell in love + how their first night really played out ā™”
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celestie0 Ā· 5 months ago
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gojo satoru x reader | oneshot angst [18+]
title. let me be free of you
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He would live in this lifetime of hell over and over again if it meant that in some other one, there exists a world where he never hurts you.
į°” pairing. friends to strangers au - best friend!gojo x reader (f)
į°” summary. gojo satoru, your love of a lifetime, tells you heā€™s engaged to another woman.Ā inspired by the novel & netflix series ā€œone dayā€ created by david nicholls
į°” warnings/tags. 18+, fem!reader, angst, mentions of sex/explicit content, coming of age themes, reader & gojo are in their 30s, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of alcohol, cheating, lots of mutual pining & longing, bittersweet ending
į°” word count. 4.8k
a/n. hellooo! i've had this finished in my wips folder for a long time but never got around to posting it sooo just wanted to let it see the light of day haha. hope you enjoyyy <33
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ā€œIā€™m engaged.ā€
The words leave Gojoā€™s lips as much less of a confession and more like a blabber, like a toddler desperate to keep conversation going in the face of a disinterested adult. Wasnā€™t how he expected to share the news of a lifetime to the love of his lifetime, but he hopes it breaks your heart to hear it.Ā 
He watches your eyebrows flatten from the crease that was bothering them before, and then slowly raise into soft arches above your eyesā€“those damn beautiful eyes that, even when they twinkle with hurt, still make his heart skip a beat in his chest.
He recalls for a moment the night the two of you met, drunk and dizzy from drinking out of a shared bottle of Prosecco, which only had half of the liquor left in it to start when he had first found it bleeding out to dry on the grassy lawn at the front of your university. It was graduation night, the last day to celebrate finishing four years of hell, and he had nothing to his name other than a rolled up diploma shoved in the pocket of his suit pants and the charm left in the youth of his smile. He wanted to spend the night with Aiko Rei, which was not a unique desire as most men on campus did, and he had a fair shot of getting into bed with her just like all those times before. But instead he was sitting at the top of a staircase inside the campusā€™s English literature building, making history in the crisp year of 1986 by being the first man of the robust age of twenty-three to pass up sex with the schoolā€™s lady heartthrob forā€“well, conversation with a sort of ditsy girl that he just met a half hour ago.
ā€œWhat do you plan to do with your life?ā€ he heard you ask him, a hard enough question to stomach when one is sober, and an impossible question to stomach when one is already trying not to puke flat Prosecco.
ā€œPardon?ā€ he asked, in hopes to dissuade you from the question. In hopes that youā€™d get the hint. But you donā€™t. And heā€™d soon learn throughout the years of your friendship to come that you never did.
ā€œYour life!ā€ you exclaim, ā€œweā€™re graduates now! What do you want to do with it?ā€ You pat harshly at his thigh, closer to his groin than to his pocket, most likely because youā€™re tipsy too, but he realizes youā€™re referring to the rolled up paper protruding at the pocket.Ā 
Truthfully, Gojo had never thought much about what he wanted to do after graduation. Hell, he didnā€™t even think heā€™d make it this far. Not once since he got here, not once since he flunked out of first-year history, not once since his father passed away during his third-year final examinations, and most certainly not after he got caught having ā€œunethical affairsā€ with his communications professor just two months ago. And yet the esteemed board of scholars decided he was fit for a diploma anyway, and now heā€™s answering to, effectively, a stranger what he plans to do with said piece of paper.
ā€œI donā€™t know,ā€ he says to you, ā€œIā€™ll do whatever.ā€Ā 
Gojo Satoru could get by with doing whatever. He was good at everything he did. But his teachers and mentors and his own father would always warn himā€“ son, itā€™s better to be an expert at one than a half-assed show-off in all. Well, they wouldnā€™t use the expletives, but thatā€™s what it had sounded like in his head.
His dad wouldā€™ve liked you. He was always telling him to find a girl that challenges him, asks him the right questions, and pushes him to become a better man, the kind of woman his mother was to his father. Much opposed to the airheaded girls of Gojoā€™s college campus he would sneak into the house and forget to shoo off before sunrise, an occurrence that happened enough times for the respect in his fatherā€™s eyes to dwindle with each woman heā€™d watch his son dispel from their residence. Until eventually, Gojo started paying rent as punishment.
So, twenty-three year old Gojo, what do you plan to do with your life? Or do you have no idea of anything that extends beyond where you are right now, sitting across this strange girl youā€™ve just met on the death of your educational youth, at the top of a stairwell lined with passed out, drunk newly grads at nearly 4 in the morning? Right now, heā€™s eyeing the hem of your dress, the way itā€™s ridden up slightly but the mesh overskirt still tickles the skin of your thigh. Heā€™s certainly able to picture whatā€™s beyond that fabric, and maybe imagine the color of your panties, but whatā€™s to come for his life? No. As previously mentioned, he never thought heā€™d get this far.
Gojo is thirty-four now, eleven years since that night the two of you met. And he sits next to you on a garden bench under a pitch black sky with stars speckled across, but only dimly visible.Ā 
Itā€™s been years since heā€™s seen you. You two had a ā€œfalling outā€ at the cusp of thirty, almost a decade of friendship fizzled away, because of his selfish actions. He couldnā€™t let you go, but he couldnā€™t want you the way you wanted him either. He didnā€™t feel like he deserved to have you. You were too good for him, and he knew it. So he wasted a decade chasing after other women, and in return, he lost the one he knew he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with.
Itā€™s the night of your college roommateā€˜s wedding, all gathered here today to celebrate their love, and he knew heā€™d run into you here. You were the brideā€™s maiden of honor, and you looked beautiful. With your hair half tied up, a pretty clip twinkling with every movement of your head, and with strands falling down over the smooth curve of your neck, bare skin of your chest tightly covered by the nude fabric of your dress. He was fully lusting after you, and he has been all night, the picture of beauty and grace, and it was wrong. Because, again, heā€™sā€“
ā€œYouā€™re engaged?ā€ you finally break through his thoughts, break through the trance that he was lost in by the sea of your eyes. Forever pulling him in like you were a wicked siren for his soul, when all youā€™ve ever wanted from him was his love.
He shifts a little, the thick fabric of his navy blue suit stretching with the movement as he fidgets with his hands in his lap. Heā€™s sitting close to you, his shoulder brushing against yours, the contrast of his broad masculinity so evident against the feminine curve of your bare arm, the thin strap holding up your dress threatening to fall down the hill. His thumb twitches, because he wants to pull it back up into place for you like a gentleman, but heā€™s not sure if thatā€™s what his hand would actually do. Because all he really wants to do is peel the dress off of you.Ā 
ā€œYes,ā€ he says, still tantalized by the glow of your skin under pale moonlight, ā€œengaged.ā€
ā€œTo be married?ā€
ā€œWell, what other kind of engaged is there?ā€
ā€œYouā€™re not allowed to get married.ā€
He snorts. ā€œSays who?ā€
ā€œSays me!ā€ you exclaim, sitting up straighter, "I turn my back for one moment, and you've gone an got engaged? You're awful!" The strap of your dress falls down over your shoulder, his eyes immediately darting to it. He sees you pull the strap up back into place, and a flit of his eyes to your face reveals to him the slight dusting of an embarrassed pink to your cheeks.Ā 
Thereā€™s a silence that settles between the two of you. Distant commotion is heard, likely from the wedding venue as people engage in reception activities and dances and cheers, while the two of you remain in this garden escape, the wall of primly trimmed bushes sheltering you two from having to pretend to be people youā€™re not amongst a crowd.
ā€œAikoā€¦ā€ he hears you say beside him, and although the name of the woman that has rolled off your tongue is the name of the woman heā€™s supposed to love, it only makes him feel sick to his stomach to hear you say her name. ā€œShe seems lovely.ā€
ā€œShe is,ā€ is all he can manage to say. And he also knows this seemingly lovely woman is probably drunk off her face back at the reception hall, giggling at all the men that approach her from the sight of her flushed face, and he should feel some sort of jealousy or possessiveness over that, but he canā€™t seem to muster any. Unlike the grit he had to his jaw an hour ago when he saw you dancing with a man he heard you introduce to your friends as just an ā€œold friendā€ of yours from college. He felt more anger in that moment than heā€™d ever felt watching his soon-to-be-wife getting talked up to by the sleazy men twice her age.Ā 
ā€œShe must be very rich,ā€ you say. ā€œShe looks it.ā€
ā€œOh. Yeah. Her familyā€™s very well off,ā€ Gojo says.
ā€œSo will you become rich too?ā€ you ask him, ā€œwhen you marry her.ā€
His eyes flit to the sky briefly. ā€œDoubt it.ā€
ā€œHow come?ā€
ā€œThe old man doesnā€™t like me very much. I imagine heā€™ll cut ties after the wedding.ā€
ā€œHer father?ā€
ā€œYes.ā€
ā€œAnd why is that?ā€
ā€œWell. I guess itā€™s not every fatherā€™s dream to find out his prim and proper daughterā€™s been knocked up by the good-for-nothing boyfriend heā€™s been threatening her to say good riddance to for months now.ā€
The silence finds the two of you again, but this time haunting and gutting. That was a blabber, if anything. So nonchalantly said, with no emotion or spirit, to the one person in this world who heā€™s always felt like he can be himself around.
ā€œSheā€™s pregnant?ā€ you say beside him, voice breaking slightly at the end, and he canā€™t bear to look at you for some reason. Some sort of admission of guilt, but what for? What exactly was he repenting for?
He lets out a small laugh, like the absurdity of the situation finds him all the same. ā€œYeah.ā€Ā 
ā€œThatā€“ā€ you start, stiff next to him, before he feels the tension relax but only rigidly, ā€œthatā€™s wonderful, Satoru. Iā€™mā€“...Iā€™m really happy for you.ā€ You turn your torso to wrap your arms around him, and his lips brush the sweet skin on your forehead as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. He wraps one arm around you, a sort of friendly hug as he rubs the skin of your arm soothingly, and his heart aches from the emptiness when you release him.Ā 
ā€œWowā€¦ā€ you say, looking up at him with pretty eyes, eyelashes fluttering as you blink rapidly to process the information, and he wonders if you really are happy for him. He doesnā€™t want you to be. He wants you to be furious, to tell him off for getting another woman pregnant after leading you on for so many years, maybe he wants you to slap him, or grab him by the collar of his shirt and shake him until all he sees is a million of you through dizzy vision like some paradise. He wants you to be mad, because itā€™d mean that you still care. Itā€™d mean that you still think thereā€™s something here to salvage between the two of you.Ā 
But heā€™s engaged. And heā€™s having a baby. What was more final than that?
ā€œSoā€¦are you marrying her because ofā€“ā€
ā€œThe wedding is in four weeks,ā€ he cuts you off, but he knows the statement answers your question regardless.
ā€œSatoruā€¦ā€
He leans off to the side a little to reach into the pocket of his suit pants, and he pulls out what is now a slightly bent envelope and he hands it to you. You take it from him gently, holding it weakly like it was something beyond you. Like something distant and foreign and strange. When all it was, is a wedding invitation.Ā 
ā€œListenā€¦ā€ he starts.
He sees your eyes dazed as you stare at the lettering on the outside of the envelope.
ā€œWeā€™ve been friends for a long time, y/n. And I know the last time we saw each other wasā€“ā€ Hostile. Angry. Disappointing. Ended with you cussing him out on the street and then saying you never want to see him again. ā€œ...not ideal, but I still care a lot about you, and, uh, so, it would mean a lot to me if you came to the wedding.ā€ For fucks sake, even on the brink of losing you forever, he still canā€™t find the right words to say. ā€œAiko, sheā€“ā€ He tastes bitter in his mouth, ā€œwell, Iā€™ve told her a lot about you, and sheā€™d really love it if you came as well.ā€
Youā€™re silent as you gently peel back the opening of the letter and then pull out the small card stock invitation. The gold printed letters shine as you inspect it, fingers tracing the patterns of words that profess the Rei familyā€™s intent to wed their daughter to Gojo Satoru. Your Gojo Satoru. Your best friend in this whole wide world. He watches your eyes carefully, but he canā€™t discern what he finds in them.
ā€œGojo Satoruā€¦ā€ you drone off, ā€œto be wed. And to be a father.ā€ Years of late night talks of the future, of kids and Christmas and love, with reality seemingly sly on the horizon only to have crept up so abruptly. It was pinched between your fingers right now. That reality.
His shoulders sulk slightly. And when you look up at him again, thereā€™s a sheen of tears in your eyes.
ā€œI canā€™t come to this,ā€ you whisper, ā€œand you know that, Satoru.ā€
His heart breaks. A physical pain that twists in his chest so tight at just the sight of seeing you sad. Sad again over the actions of his own. They say you always hurt the one you love, and he had always wondered what sort of evil person would do such a thing, only to find out heā€™s only ever hurt you this entire time.Ā 
He shouldā€™ve kissed you that night the two of you met at graduation. Shouldā€™ve shut you up and all your existential questions by pinning you to a wall and pressing his lips against yours. He shouldā€™ve taken you to bed and fucked you, and then held you in his arms until you woke up in the morning. Shouldā€™ve listened to you talk his ear off about how heā€™s just like all the other guys, who pretend to care, but only want to have sex and then never to speak to the girl ever again. And he shouldā€™ve laid there in bed, nose nuzzled in your hair, taking all the scolding despite having no intent to ever leave you.
Instead, he wasted so much time. Sure, he had your friendship. His best friend for years, but the two of you couldā€™ve been something more. Couldā€™ve spent the years together, instead of writing stained letters or leaving messages on answering machines while the two of you were miles away. He couldā€™ve been waking up with you every morning with the scent of your shampoo on his sheets, instead of clinging to pillows in foreign motel rooms. He couldā€™ve been engaged to you, and he could be whispering sweet nothings in your ear of how much he wishes the baby will have your eyes.Ā 
But his thoughts are lost in fantasy. He is what heā€™s done, nothing more and nothing less. His eyes fall to your lap, the invitation still held loosely in your hand, and then a droplet of water falls onto it.
ā€œIā€“ā€ you stutter, wiping at the tears spilling down your cheeks with a hesitant swipe of your hand, ā€œI need to go.ā€
You stand up off the bench and he quickly stands up with you, grabbing your wrist to keep you here with him, and you halt but only with you facing away from him. He yanks at your wrist harshly, pulling you into him so his chest is flush to your back, his arms wrapping strongly around you and his nose nuzzling into your hair, breathing you in greedily like itā€™s the last time heā€™ll ever get the chance.
ā€œSatoruā€“ā€ you gasp, your hands immediately grabbing at his forearms that are tightly crossed across your collarbone. ā€œWhat are you doingā€“ā€Ā 
ā€œSay it,ā€ he whispers, gruff and impatient, ā€œtell me to do it, and I will.ā€
ā€œT-Tell you to do what?ā€ you stutter, struggling a little in his hold but he only holds you tighter.
ā€œTell me to leave her, and I will,ā€ he says, his lips brushing at your ear now, the scent of your perfume maddening to his senses, and one of his hands slowly trails down and the knuckle of his thumb presses into the softness of your breast.
You squirm, a small and soft moan leaving your lips.
ā€œTā€“ā€ you breathe in harshly, ā€œthis is wrong.ā€Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t care,ā€ he growls, arms sliding lower to hold you under your breasts, so tightly that your heels lift off the ground. ā€œJust say the word, and Iā€™ll leave everything behind for you. I promise,ā€ he breathes in deep, the desperation making his head hazy, ā€œthat Iā€™ll do things right this time. Just you and meā€“ā€Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re going to be a father,ā€ you remind him, and he shuts his eyes closed tightly, the responsibility of the word bearing on his shoulders but his desire for you overshadows every shred of sense or dignity or integrity he has left in him, because he felt like he was losing his mind after wanting you for years just to never have you.Ā 
He turns you around in his hold so that you face him, and he crashes his lips to yours, muffling the surprised mmf! that dies in your throat in surprise as his hands hold your waist, relishing in the feeling of satin fabric pulled taut over your curves.
Forbidden, yet a taste that heā€™ll risk because there was no curse that was worse than the fate of having to pine after you for years.
Ah.
But.
But it was all fantasy, this moment in his head, where he takes you on the freshly cut grass of this garden.Ā 
Something that only briefly flashes through his mind as his warm hand wraps around your wrist, from where he was still seated on the stone bench, and not on his feet holding you like he dreamed for. Like he longed for.
He feels the weight of his arm so heavily, as if it werenā€™t his own, and he slowly lets go of your wrist.
When he looks up at you, thereā€™s longing in your eyes. A hurt that he didnā€™t even know he was capable of causing, just for him to realize that youā€™ve always looked at him that way, and heā€™s never been keen enough to know it until now. He grew up too late. He took too long.
His phone starts buzzing in his pocket, and he reaches in for it, then flips it open and sees his soon-to-be-wifeā€™s name on it. He feels nothing at the sight.
ā€œHello?ā€ he speaks into the device when he holds it to his ear, and he sees you take a couple steps away, rubbing anxiously at your elbow as you pretend to busy yourself with the study of the lamp. ā€œYes, Iā€™ll be there soon. I, uh, Iā€™m just with a friend. A couple of friends, actually. Weā€™re having drinks by the pond. Mhm. Yes. I will. Okay, see you soon. Iā€”ā€¦I love you too. Bye.ā€ And then he snaps the phone shut.Ā 
ā€œHeading back?ā€ he hears you ask.
He stands. ā€œIā€™ve got to.ā€
ā€œOkay.ā€Ā 
You two walk down the shrubbery of the garden that was arranged like a maze, him a few paces behind you, and he watches the delicate line of your posture as your hand brushes against the green walls of foliage that encase the two of you, the feeling of wanting to touch you and hold you almost suffocating.Ā 
ā€œHey,ā€ he calls out to you, and he shoves his hands in his suit pockets. You turn around immediately to face him, like his voice was permission to do so.
ā€œYes?ā€ you ask.
He blinks up at the starry sky, and then looks at you again. The soft cast of distant warm lighting falls over your face, making you appear like a renaissance painting, similar to those that you would point out to him at museums when you two would see each other on holiday back in your early twenties. He could never understand the charm of those paintings, no matter how many times you tried to explain it to him, but seeing you in this light right now, he finally understands the beauty that you saw.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m, uh,ā€ he rubs at the back of his neck, and then scoffs out a small laugh, ā€œIā€™m a little drunk right now, butā€“ā€ He stops himself. What was he trying to say? And was it of conscious mind? ā€œI just need to tell you thatā€¦I really regretā€¦not speaking to you. I mean, for letting the silence drag on for years. Youā€™re myā€“...my best friend. Weā€™re a pair, you know? The two of us. For years, people would ask me where you were. And why they havenā€™t seen us together at all recently. And it was hard to admit that we hadnā€™t spoken in years.ā€
You take the smallest of steps towards him, and look up at him with empty eyes.Ā 
ā€œWhat Iā€™m trying to say is, is that, well,ā€ he finds himself tripping over his words, ā€œI miss you. And I miss our friendship. Andā€“...I miss having you around.ā€ He glances down at his shoes, polished and reflecting off the moonlight directly above him. He rocks back and forth on his heels ever so slightly. ā€œI know you said that I piss you off to lengths unimaginable to my tiny pea-sized brain, but I canā€™t help myself, y/n,ā€ he admits, ā€œI think you and I, weā€™re just meant to always be. In some how, or some wayā€¦ā€
You purse your lips together, gaze shifting lower to eye at the silk of his tie.Ā 
ā€œCan we be friends again?ā€ he asks, the words feeling juvenile on his tongue. Like whispered apologies between children on a playground after shoving one another onto wooden chips, except the wounds heā€™s left on you run much deeper than a superficial scrape.Ā 
You blink slowly, tilting your head up at him. ā€œFriends?ā€
ā€œFriends.ā€
You wipe your palm off on the satin of your dress. ā€œI missed you too, you know.ā€
His eyes widened slightly.
Your hand finds its way up your arm, until you weakly cup your elbow with your palm and look off to the side, avoiding eye contact with him. ā€œThere were so many years where I thought that there was something between us. And maybe I was foolish for thinking that way, that you would ever see me that wayā€“ā€
ā€œy/n,ā€ he tries to interrupt you.Ā 
ā€œButā€¦the pain of not having you the way I wanted to was much less worse than the pain of not having you at all,ā€ you say, your gaze finally shifting towards him. ā€œBut, the thing is, I needed to feel that pain to get over you. I had to.ā€
His heart stills at those words.
You glance down at the ground now. ā€œI missed being able to tell you things. To laugh, and cry, and argue. I miss humbling your stupid ego. I miss being able to call you at any time, knowing youā€™d pick up when I needed you.ā€
His heart aches so much he wants to reach into his chest and hold it.
ā€œThe thing is,ā€ you continue, ā€œyou wouldā€™ve been the first person I wouldā€™ve run to to tell them that I lost my best friend.ā€ There were tears shining in your eyes. ā€œBut what could I do when you were the one that I had lost? Who could I have turned to then?ā€
He lets out a shaky breath, and in a swift motion, his arm wraps around your waist and he pulls you to him in an embrace.
Youā€™re stiff in his hold, mechanical and rigid, so contrary to the soft tears you leave behind on the fabric of his sleeve, but slowly and surely, you warm and thaw. Your hands slide up past his shoulders, linking behind his neck. And his head drops to the curve of your neck, swaying you with him slowly as if it were a first dance.
ā€œIā€™m sorry,ā€ he whispers, ā€œfor hurting you.ā€
You breathe out slowly. ā€œJust let me go, Satoru. Let me be free. Let me be free of you.ā€
He feels the air knock out of his lungs, and the two of you slowly pull your heads away from the embrace to look at one another, although your hands still find a place on his shoulders, and he still holds you close to him by a delicate hold of your waist.Ā 
He wonders if in another life, you two were happy. He wonders if he could ever take back all the decisions he made, and start all over again. On that day the two of you met on that staircase in the west wing of the literature building, he would make a different choice. If he could, he would live in this lifetime of hell over and over again if it meant that in some other one, there exists a world where he never hurts you.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s time for me to go,ā€ you whisper, eyes darting across the features of his face, studying them but with a familiarity that only you know, because you held his entire life in your palm. Your gaze meets his again, faces just inches apart, and the sweet curl of your eyelashes makes him weak in the knees. ā€œItā€™s time.ā€
He nods slowly, his own eyes studying your face as well, except it looks foreign to him now.Ā 
Itā€™s all been said and done. There was nothing he could do to right the wrongs, or undo all the pain. He was to be a father now, and his duties were now towards his wife and unborn child. And no longer to the woman he holds in his arms, one heā€™s sure he will never stop loving for as long as he lives.Ā 
Itā€™s a sweet moment, the two of you gazing at one another. You look so pretty from this angle, looking up at him with the smallest tilt to your head and round searching eyes. His head subconsciously dips down towards yours in the second that he glances at your lips, but he stops himself. And when you make no move to create distance, he finds himself closing it again, until his lips brush against yours ever so softly. And then he captures them in a kiss, firm and unmistaken, finding solace in the way your lips move against his too, unsure yet passionately at the same time. Your fingers ever so slightly dig into his shoulders while his thumbs soothe at the skin of your waist, the two of you savoring the last moments of a kiss thatā€™ll be the sweetest one youā€™ll ever know.
You pull away first, a small puff of air leaving your lips as you glance downwards. He rests his forehead against yours, never once looking away from your face. And you both breathe slowly, the soul of the chaste kiss entirely vanishing into the air along with all the hope that the two of you had left to make anything of the way you feel about one another. It was a kiss that almost disqualified any level of sin or guilt or wrong, because it was like one you two owed each other, after years of familiarity and longing. It was the goodbye that the two of you deserved.
His hands slowly let go of your waist, and he takes a step back away from you, softly clearing his throat. The distance feels like a galaxy away, and he briefly runs his thumb along his bottom lip, because the ghostly feeling of your lips on his still remains.Ā 
ā€œShall we head back?ā€ you ask him, prim and proper in posture and eyes widened in a formal gaze.
His lips are parted, and he finds that heā€™s panting slightly. And then he slowly nods his head. ā€œYes.ā€
.
.
.
[the end]Ā 
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a/n. i am sooooo freaking obsessed w "one day" by david nicholls and really wanted to write something inspired by it!! the book literally ripped my heart out and stomped on it like there were so many scenes where i just longingly stared out the window because of how shattering it was but dear god i really enjoyed it, and the show was also so dfkjhsfkhs i had sm feels watching it. so yea this was fun to write!! i hope you enjoyedd n thanks so much for reading :)
āžø masterlist
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evergumi Ā· 13 days ago
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megumi loves showering with you, but it's not even in a sexual way. it was just the way you massaged your slender fingers into his raven locks so lovingly, the scent of your sweet-smelling shampoo filling his nostrils as your fingertips scraped his scalp that made him want to shed tears; the way he finds comfort in the warm water cascading around the two of you, steam rising and enveloping the small space like a gentle hug.
soft music plays from outside the shower, overlapping the constant sound of the water running. the gentle notes of glue song by beabadoobee fill the air, your soft hums mixing with the words as you wash his hair, creating a soothing melody and drowning out the world outside. the way you tenderly rinse out the lather, eyes occasionally meeting with that playful spark, makes him feel secure, almost cherished as he tries to fight back the small twitch of his lips.
"close your eyes," you say softly. "let me wash it out." the warm water from the showerhead runs through his hair, and the feeling of your hands in his hair makes him rest a gentle hand on your shoulder. the soft melody of the song playing adds to the calm atmosphere. as you finish rinsing out the shampoo, megumi smiles at you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.
ā€œmy turn,ā€ he murmurs as he turns you around, giving your arm a gentle caress as he squeezes a generous amount of shampoo onto his calloused palm, combing through your dark locks with his other hand as you giggle. the pale pink liquid forms suds in your hair, and he gently massages it into your head as you sing along to the music, a smile on your face. bringing the showerhead to your head as you did for him and turning it on, he cups your cheek and tells you to close your eyes. he runs his rough fingertips through your silky hair, watching in awe as the soap suds clear out. ā€œyour hairā€¦ā€ he mumbles. ā€œthis is why it smells so goodā€¦ā€
you chuckle softly, squeezing your eyes shut as shampooey water runs over your eyes.
ā€œyou say that every time.ā€
ā€œthatā€™s because it smells too good not to say anything, y/n.ā€
he cups your cheeks, murmuring softly to relax your eyes as you close them so that he can squeeze out the water, just in case it hurt them; he uses the pads of his thumbs to gently press against your eyelids, trying to hide the slight twitch of his lips as you scrunch your nose.
the moments stretch into a quiet intimacy as water drips rhythmically around you, each drop a soft reminder of the bond you share. he leans into your touch, eyes fluttering closed as he relishes the feeling of being cared for. sometimes, you share stories, laughter intertwining with the sound of water, and his heart swells at the joy of these simple, yet profound moments. it's a retreat from everything else, a sanctuary built on trust and warmth, where the chaos of life fades away, leaving only the sweet solace of companionship. and in those fleeting moments, he realizes that itā€™s not just a showerā€”itā€™s a little piece of heaven, a small escape that he longs for, more and more each day.
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ā€œguess what iā€™m drawing on your back,ā€ you giggle. ā€œdraw what you feel on the fog.ā€
tracing your slender finger over his back, megumi frowns in concentration as he uses his calloused fingertip to draw what he feels on his back onto the fogged-up glass door, making you laugh yet again.
ā€œwhat is that, gumi?ā€
ā€œi donā€™t know. what is that, y/n?ā€
ā€œthe doggies, nutmeg.ā€
ā€œdonā€™t call me that.ā€
your laughter bounces softly off the bathroom walls, and megumi lets out a quiet grumble. after a moment of silence, he clears his throat and turns to trace his own finger along the glass door again, this time more deliberate.
you tilt your head curiously as you watch him. ā€œwhatā€™re you drawing now?ā€
he doesnā€™t answer, focused on the small shapes forming beneath his fingertip. when he steps aside, you see itā€”a little family of stick figures, one noticeably smaller than the other two, with scribbly ā€œdogsā€ beside them.
ā€œmegumi,ā€ you whisper softly, feeling your heart squeeze.
he shrugs, his tone casual but his expression soft. ā€œjust thinking itā€™d be nice, you know. you, me, the dogsā€¦ and maybe a little girl.ā€
your chest tightens with warmth as you stare at the little drawing. you can almost hear the giggles of a child blending into the sound of the water, a soft addition to these peaceful moments.
megumi doesnā€™t say anything more, but the way his hand lingers over yours and the small upward tug of his lips tells you enough. and in that moment, he can imagine these showers, but with a small, giggling girl in the mix, her laughter filling the space with a kind of joy he never knew he needed.
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a/n ā‹† megumi would def be a girl dad and im gonna say this till the day i die guys i need him to carry my child hes too wholesome my adorable husband :((((
thank you for reading, ily ! lmk if you wanna be tagged and remember, reqs are always open loves !
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Ā© evergumi
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yandere-sins Ā· 1 year ago
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Imagine getting isekaiā€™ed into otome game as a background character, watching the main character going down routes as you live your peaceful, mundane life, but youā€™ve unknowingly been going down a route as well, a route for a hidden character that you didnā€™t discover during your time playing the game.
That character being the reason the game has a dark content warning.
Gosh anon, that idea is so good!!!! I didn't know it would tickle all the right places in my brain, but when I started I couldn't stop lol. Love it, thank you for sending it in ā™„
If this had one of these super long titles that are tmi it would be:
I got Isekai'ed into an Otome Game as a Background Character and now I Have to Finish It with the Secret Yandere Love Interest!!
Ā»Ā»ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€” ā™” ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”Ā«Ā« Ā  Ā Ā 
A serene smile spread over your lips as you watched the two lovebirds in the corner of your coffee shop.
Swirling the milk into a cup, it created a little white heart surrounded by foamy coffee, its aroma drifting into your nose. Had someone told you that the little things like a cup of coffee made with love and care were enough to give you the peace of mind you always wanted in your previous life, you would have laughed at them. For you, it had always been the hustle, the making money, finding a partner, and creating a family. Make everyone proud while being successful, whether it costs you nights of sleep or days without proper meals. But looking at yourself now, it all seemed so far away now, and you let out a content sigh before setting down the cup in front of the customer at the bar.Ā 
"You seem happy today," your regular at the counter noted, picking up the cup and taking a moment to appreciate the aroma just like you had. A smile sneaked onto their lips, too, after they took a sip, and you couldn't help but feel your heart swell with pride and happiness when they gave you a satisfied nod.Ā 
"I am! I'm really getting accustomed to my new life here, it's... been a while since I've been so content."
The truth behind everything that happened to you was something you couldn't speak about lightly. Not when it turned the life you knew upside down, leaving you to start over completely. One day you were an employee of a well-known company, responsible for sales and reports and everything stressful. And the next, you were in your favorite, cozy video game, running the coffee shop the main character liked to visit with all the romance options in the game.
IsekaiĀ was the genre that came to mind when you thought about your situation. Luckily you were spared the memories of your death in the real world, the circumstances blurry as you barely remembered going home late from work, only to wake up in this very different universe. Perhaps you were just comatose, and this was a dream. Still, by now, you had managed to slip into your role as the barista of the small coffee shop, a barely mentioned background character, just fine.
Your eyes jumped back to the couple in the corner, giggling and teasing each other over a group project, and you felt an immense relief you weren't reincarnated as the main protagonist and had to go through the years of studying and trying to establish connections with the love interests again. You already did that in your old life, and it wasn't as romantic and fun as the game made it out to be. You only played it because it got your mind off things, the art was pretty, and it had the exact amount of cozy time management you needed to relax. But living as the main character in it? No, thank you!
"Jealous?" your regular teased, and you chuckled, shaking your head. They tapped theirā€”now emptyā€”cup, and you took it from them, replacing it with some water until you had the next cup of coffee ready for them.
"I just think it's cute. I never had someone so interested in me they'd take me out for coffee and share their cake with me when I was younger."
Your words tasted a little bitter on your tongue. Still, you genuinely couldn't wish for anything but the main character's happiness. It was just the feeling of being loved, desired, andĀ wantedĀ that you missed, even though your new life was more than satisfactory despite you feeling a little lonely sometimes.
"Well, it's never too late to start," they chuckled, taking up their fork and cutting off the tip of their strawberry shortcake, including the big chunk of strawberry on top, picking it up and holding it out towards you.Ā 
"Oh, I wouldn't dare--"
"I insist! As thanks for the amazing coffee every time I come here."
Nudging your lips with their fork, you let out an awkward chuckle. It was okay, right? They wouldn't sue you for eating the cake they paid for, would they? This was just a silly little game. What could go wrong with you accepting their kindness?
Opening your lips, you let them feed you the cake, taking a moment to let the sweet and fruity notes mix with the fluffy whip cream before you were sent straight to heaven. Not to toot your own horn, but your baking skills had improved so much since you started working at the shop. Who knew you had that in you?
Occupied with the moment of bliss as you let the cake flavor mix in your mouth, you hummed happily before devoting yourself back to making the coffee with a smile on your face. Unaware of your regular fixating on the fork you had just eaten from, staring at it like it was some strange artifact. Your phone dinged softly in its drawer, and you checked it briefly to see the notification pinging up, saying, "Achievement unlocked:Ā Cake-MasterĀ -Ā Provide the most delicious cake to your customers."
"Excuse me!" the main character called out to you, stepping up to the counter, and you directed your attention to her, ignoring the little game notification you've been receiving since starting your new life here, the love interest not far away before the two began fighting over who was going to pay the bill this time lovingly. Of course, the love interest won, but you wouldn't have expected it any other way. Seeing the blush on the main character's face after her romance option told her he'd "always take care" of her made you grin like a little fan, and you cheered them on in your head.Ā 
By the time you returned to your regular, their knuckles had gone white with how hard they were gripping the fork in their hand, their eyes following the couple who was about to leave. For a moment, it made you wonder if they had a crush on either of them, their sweet interaction surely uncomfortable if that was the case. But you didn't remember there being a jealousy scene in the game. You'd know, almost playing it 100% before your death. There apparently was a secret route you never got but were trying your hardest to achieve. Now you were left to wonder what it entailed.
But the second you returned, they looked up at you, expression softening and the tension disappearing, and you chalked it up to having witnessed a cringe moment that they had gotten so awkward. "Thank you for the cake, that was really nice of you! Do you want another fork?" you asked and were met with a headshake and a smile.Ā 
They quickly began eating their cake and complimenting your baking skills, stroking your growing ego when they rubbed their belly.Ā 
"I never had a cake that good!" they proclaimed, and you laughed out loud, overjoyed that you had made them so happy.Ā 
"Say..." they suddenly spoke up again, leaning on the counter and watching you with gentle eyes. Your heart set out for a second, tension rising as you didn't know what they were going to ask. Ever since you opened the coffee shop, the main character, love interests, and this regular had come by constantly. If you were honest, you enjoyed their visits more and more. Their presence felt like it belonged here with you, and you were a part of something bigger after all, washing away the small, lonely part of you.Ā 
And maybe... justĀ maybe... this was howĀ yourĀ happy end would play out.
"Are you this nice to every customer?"
Halting your movements, you set aside the brew head that you used on the espresso machine, despite having to clean it, thinking about your answer for a moment. It was a strange question to ask someone who worked in customer service. Still, you appreciated your regular, so you didn't want to give them a snarky answer.
"Uhm, well, I am just trying to make everyone feel welcome! But of course, it's a bit different with my regulars! After all, they come here often, like a second family. So I guess I'm a bit nicer because you really get to know and appreciate these people that stay to chat and tell stories."
"I see," they muttered. "Family, huh..."
After that, you suddenly were swamped with sudden orders, excusing yourself to fulfill them, chatting and laughing with even the people that were just passing by. Maybe you really were just nice? Perhaps this new environment had made you more relaxed and gentle than the harsh world you lived in, and it was showing? But their question was shoved into the back of your mind as you kept fulfilling orders and earning your keep.
Once the rush was over, you returned to your regular, only to find their seat empty.Ā Strange, you thought. You could have sworn that you felt their eyes on you the whole time you were away, but luckily, they didn't walk out on their tab, leaving the money and a folded-up napkin beneath their empty cup for you to find. You quickly stored away the bills, trusting your regular with knowing what they had to pay after so many weeks of the same order.
You were about to throw away their napkin when you noticed some red marks on them, unwrapping the paper to find a note scribbled in what you had to assume was ink.Ā 
"You're so beautiful when you laugh."
The surprise wore off quite fast, and you smiled, thinking nothing of it but that it was a nice compliment from your regular. Still, you ended up throwing the napkin awayā€”not knowing if it was dirty, after allā€”taking the coffee cup and plate to the sink to clean them, overseeing the red tip on the fork that was too dark to be from the strawberry.
The rest of your day was uneventful, and by the time you were closing, you were tired and ready to tug in for the night, wrapping up your business at the shop quickly before walking home. You didn't have a chance to look at your phone since you glanced at the achievement notification, so you took it out, startled when you saw a dozen new messages.Ā 
Achievement unlocked:Ā Happy new lifeĀ -Ā Be content with your new life
Achievement unlocked:Ā A fork for two!Ā -Ā Share a fork with someone special
Achievement unlocked:Ā JealousyĀ -Ā Make someone special jealous
Achievement unlocked:Ā SoothingĀ -Ā Calm someone special down with your presence
Achievement unlocked:Ā FamilyĀ -Ā Have someone be moved by your words
Achievement unlocked:Ā The nicest person in townĀ -Ā Be beloved by all, but especially by someone special
Achievement unlocked:Ā Blood in the cupĀ -Ā Have someone hurt themselves at your coffee shop
Achievement unlocked:Ā Wonder-BaristaĀ -Ā Complete twenty orders in less than thirty minutes
Achievement unlocked:Ā Strange complimentĀ -Ā Receive a compliment through unusual means
Achievement unlocked:Ā Blooming infatuationĀ -Ā Have someone special fall in love with you
Achievement unlocked:Ā Shop-Pro!Ā -Ā Close the shop twenty times after making a profit from your work
Achievement unlocked:Ā TiredĀ -Ā Hard workers deserve to relax
You blinked a few times, surprised by what you were reading and a little weirded out by some of these achievements. They gave you some extra coins in your shop till and reputation with the townspeople, so you usually didn't mind them. But to say some of their descriptions were weird was an understatement. You couldn't even remember someone getting hurt at your workplace that day.
By the time you reached your apartment, you decided to ignore the strange notifications and just let the day come to an end with a hot bath and your favorite show. But you were startled when your phone suddenly began ringing loudly, even though you had turned off the sound back at the coffee shop after the first notification. The first messages that appeared before you were more achievements, and you stopped turning the key in your door as you read them.
Achievement unlocked:Ā FollowerĀ -Ā Have someone special follow you home
Achievement unlocked:Ā Welcome home!Ā -Ā Arrive at home, not alone
Achievement unlocked:Ā Wherever you go, I'll be watching youĀ -Ā Ę— Ī”Īœ Ī”ŁœĪ”Ā„Ş Å“Ī”Å¦Ä†Ä¦Ę—Å‡Ē¤ Ā„Ƙį»®
Lifting your head, you looked around you, glancing over your shoulder and into the courtyard below. No one was out; everyone was at home eating dinner and occupied with their lives. Confused, you swiped all the notifications away before another pop-up appeared.
ALERT! You're about to enter X's route. Do you want to continue?
>Ā Yes > No
Panicked at this point, you pressed "No," but nothing happened. You kept tapping it repeatedly, not understanding what was happening with your phone. But nothing changed, the notification staying in place. The sound of something breaking inside your apartment tore your focus away from your phone, startling you.Ā 
You must have finally managed to close it, the pop-up disappearing just as you unlocked the door to your apartment, still having held on to the key when you were surprised by the sound. Darkness and silence greeted you from inside, everything seemingly normal.
Majorly confused, you shook your head, slowly entering the hallway leading inside. "Hello?" you called out, reaching for the light switch. The light flickered on, and... there was no one. Holding your breath, no sound reached your ears, and you groaned, realizing you got freaked out about... nothing.Ā 
This wasn't some kind of horror game, and the story never had a murder-solving subplot. True, the ratings for it were kind of strangeā€”it being rated as 18+ on the websiteā€”but seriously, what should happen in a cozy little city like the one the game played in? You didn't even think they had a police station here.
Pushing off your shoes as you shrugged off the weird feeling from before, you walked up the hallway to your living room, turning on the light before coming to an abrupt halt. There were broken pieces of glass underneath your living room window, but what really freaked you out came into view only when you lifted your head. You could look into the mirror of your cabinet door from your position, red marker dripping from it as if someone had hastily scribbled on it just seconds ago. You weren't sure it was a pen anymore, judging by its deep red color and the fluidity of it.
"š˜Ŗ š˜øš˜Ŗš˜“š˜© š˜ŗš˜°š˜¶'š˜„ š˜°š˜Æš˜­š˜ŗ š˜­š˜¢š˜¶š˜Øš˜© š˜§š˜°š˜³ š˜®š˜¦ š˜Ŗš˜µ š˜„š˜³š˜Ŗš˜·š˜¦š˜“ š˜®š˜¦ š˜¤š˜³š˜¢š˜»š˜ŗ"
Your phone pinged.
Achievement unlocked:Ā 
On the Highway to HellĀ -Ā Unlock the secret route
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roanofarcc Ā· 2 months ago
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YOU & ME
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Pairing: JJ Maybank x reader
Summary: After returning to OBX, after the events of the past four years have cooled off, JJ realizes it's about time he asks you a very important question.Ā 
Warning: JJ deserves a happy ending! Season 4 spoilers.
word count. 1k || masterlist
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JJ found you out on the dock, leaning over the railing and looking at something in the water. He smiled to himself as he strolled toward you, running his fingers over the ring he stuffed in his pocket.Ā 
ā€œFind any treasure down there?ā€ JJ asked as he approached you.
You threw him a look over your shoulder. ā€œNot funny,ā€ you replied, but there was a smile on your lips that told him otherwise.Ā 
The Pogues had rightfully retired from their treasure-hunting days. Too many close calls and they werenā€™t willing to risk it anymore. They didnā€™t need to, not after finally cashing out for the last time. JJ, with your guidance and gentle threats, promised to be responsible with his share this time around. For the first time in his life, he saw a future illuminated brightly ahead of him. He had you, his friends, and even a God-daughter now. While his risky tendencies werenā€™t completely put to bed, he was comfortable where he stood and finally felt like he could relax.Ā 
All in all, he was happy. But there was still something he had yet to do.Ā 
He slung an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side as you both gazed at the water. As much as he had once enjoyed action and adventure, JJ partially used it as an escape. He felt like he had been running from something his whole life, trying to make sense of why he was the way he was. He used to think that, if he never slowed down, nothing would have the chance to hurt him too much. But then he found a family within his friends and a reason to stop running within you. He didnā€™t need to escape anymore or run. He didnā€™t need to make sense of anything anymore. JJ Maybank finally had everything he had been looking for. His world made sense for the first time, and he had no intention of screwing that up.Ā 
ā€œYou okay?ā€ you asked softly, reaching up and brushing a hand across his cheek.Ā 
ā€œYeah, just thinkinā€™.ā€
ā€œUh-oh,ā€ you teased, moving to stand in front of him. You hugged him lightly, peering at him with furrowed brows. ā€œThinkinā€™ about what?ā€Ā 
JJ leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. ā€œYou.ā€Ā 
ā€œAnd what about me?ā€ Your breath was warm against his face, competing against the cool breeze off the water. The distant laughter of his friends sounded from up the dock, where they all sat around, eating and cooing at little baby Routledge.Ā 
The worst years of his life, only peppered with good from his Pogues, felt like lifetimes behind him. All of the pain he experienced faded like his scars. He only had the good parts now, and there wasnā€™t a chance on Earth heā€™d let them slip away.Ā 
ā€œI have a question Iā€™ve been meaning to ask you,ā€ JJ said, hesitant not because he was unsure, but because there was still a fear in the far depths of his mind that youā€™d leave him. It was stupid, you had told him that a million and three times, but he couldnā€™t help the faint voice in the back of his head pestering him in a whisper.Ā 
You silently waited for him to continue. As he worked up the courage, he closed his eyes for just a second, picturing the same little dream heā€™d created in his head not long after meeting you.Ā 
ā€œWeā€™ve got a pretty good thing goinā€™, huh?ā€ he started.Ā 
A breathy laugh fell from your lips. ā€œIā€™d say so.ā€Ā 
ā€œRight, and I, um, I donā€™t really want it to end, you know?ā€Ā 
You leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to his nose. ā€œI donā€™t plan on it ending, JJ. Itā€™s you and me, remember?ā€Ā 
He did; he remembered the promise you made not long after you first met. It started off as a pack between friends, but it morphed into something deeper. You and him. If he had anything, he had that to hold on to.Ā 
ā€œYeah,ā€ he whispered, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out the ring he had stolen a while back with the intention of, one day, slipping it on your finger. Leaning back from you, he held up the ring between two fingers, letting the dainty silver shine in the growing moonlight. ā€œYou and me. Forever, maybe?ā€Ā 
It took a moment for realization to dawn on you, but it struck with force. Your eyes blew wide, and your mouth fell open in a humorous and bewildered laugh. ā€œAre you asking me to marry you?ā€Ā 
JJ nodded, sheepishly using his free hand to scratch the back of his neck. ā€œI probably should have gotten down on one knee, right? To be fair, itā€™s my first time.ā€ He went to lower himself onto the dock, but you stopped him, cupping his face in your hands.Ā 
ā€œAnd itā€™s perfect,ā€ you said, tears welling up in your eyes. ā€œI would love to marry you, JJ Maybank.ā€Ā 
He felt like he was going to cry too from the pure excitement and love that swelled inside his chest. Blinking back his own happy tears, he took your hand and slid the ring on your finger. It wasnā€™t some extravagant engagement ring, but it fit like a glove on your finger like it had been made for you. The smile on your face was enough confirmation that you liked it.Ā 
You kissed him, the warm metal of the ring pressed against his cheek. It was a feeling he was looking forward to getting used to. To kiss you forever, until youā€™re old and gray and yelling at kids to get off your lawn. JJ used to have a hard time looking past eighteen, trying to figure out what heā€™d become if he made it that far. Would he be locked up like every adult in his life used to tell him? Would he end up like his father or the man he used to think was his father?Ā 
But he didnā€™t have to worry anymore, about any of it. He made it past eighteen and a different path awaited him, a good one, a happy one.Ā 
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navybrat817 Ā· 3 months ago
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Double Shift
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Pairing: Chop Shop Mechanic!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky helps you unwind after you work a double shift.
Word Count: Over 1.8k
Warnings: Established relationship, slight insecurities, bit of backstory, dirty talk, mild smut, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: @nixakimbo was kind enough to gift me with this GORGEOUS edit and I had to create a new AU. Sorry, lovelies? @tavners , this is for you. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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You dropped your bag the moment you walked through the door. Your feet ached despite the comfortable shoes, and your head throbbed with each passing second. Groaning, you dragged yourself to the couch, collapsing into it like it was the only place youā€™d ever wanted to be. Working doubles was exhausting, but this? This was something else entirely.
It was a long day in a series of long days, but now you had a chance to relax.
Reaching for the nearby pillow, you inhaled deeply, a smile tugging at your lips. Instead of the usual fresh scent of your couch, you caught the familiar, warm fragrance of your boyfriendā€™s cologne. He must have spritzed it before leaving for work. It was like leaning into him and your shoulder relaxed more, even though you wished he were really there.
The sound of the door creaking open a few minutes later told you that your wish had been granted.
ā€œAww. Long day, baby?ā€ Bucky cooed from the doorway, spotting you sprawled out with no intention of moving to greet him. ā€œYou know your bagā€™s on the ground?ā€
ā€œMm-hmm.ā€ You rubbed your temples slowly. ā€œYou know I worked a double, right? Iā€™m lucky I made it to the couch.ā€
His soft chuckle reached your ears as he set his keys down and picked up your bag. ā€œI know and Iā€™m sorry. You work really hard.ā€ He leaned down to kiss your forehead once he reached the couch. ā€œI wish you didn't have to.ā€
You turned your head, the throbbing in your temples easing when your eyes met his. His black tank top fit him perfectly, complementing the tattoos that stretched across his neck and arms. The skulls and flowers, symbols of death and hope, told stories of his past. Stories he didn't have to tell you about, but he did anyway and you were happy to know every detail. As captivating as the ink was, it was his blue eyes that held you. In them, you saw your future, bright and full of love.
ā€œThatā€™s life. And you work hard, too,ā€ you reminded him.
ā€œYeah. My job is so honorable,ā€ he mumbled, making a mess of his hair as he ran a hand through it. ā€œIā€™m really making a difference in the world.ā€
You frowned sympathetically. Bucky was a gifted mechanic, but his family was dealt a bad hand and he did what he had to do to take care of his younger sister. ā€œAnd youā€™ll be out of there soon.ā€
Once he finished paying off Becca's medical bills, he could quit. That day was getting closer and closer. And one day heā€™d open his own shop, too, a legitimate shop. You wanted to stand beside him when that dream came true. Becca would be so proud.
Both of you wanted the best for Bucky.
He sighed, sinking to his knees and resting his hands on your thighs. You could see the gray peppering his scruff and you couldnā€™t help but reach out to run your nails through it. The sound of his groan made you smile, so you did it again.
ā€œI just wanna give you the world,ā€ he whispered, turning his head and kissing your palm. ā€œYou know that, right?ā€
ā€œYou already do,ā€ you whispered back, his eyes softening. You had a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and his love in your heart. It was all you needed. ā€œBut you know, I could-ā€
Bucky put a finger to your lips to stop you. ā€œI know what you're going to say and weā€™re not selling your dad's car.ā€
You smiled sadly. Your dadā€™s car was a classic and could get Bucky the money he needed, but he turned the offer down each time you brought it up. He didn't want you to give up one of the only things you had left of your dad. ā€œI won't say a word tonight.ā€
But you could try again tomorrow.
ā€œThank you.ā€ He took your hand and kissed your palm again. ā€œYou up for a ride later?ā€
ā€œI donā€™t think Iā€™m moving from this spot tonight,ā€ you half smiled. ā€œBut we can tomorrow.ā€
ā€œYou donā€™t wanna go for a ride tonight?ā€ he asked, surprise laced in his voice. You usually jumped at the chance to ride his motorcycle with him.
ā€œFeet and head hurt a little,ā€ you admitted, touching his cheek as concern etched his features. ā€œIā€™m fine, really. Nothing for you to make a fuss about, but I won't turn you down if you want to dote on me.ā€
ā€œBaby,ā€ he sighed, slipping your shoes off. You gasped when he began massaging the sole of your right foot, the gentle pressure making your body sink deeper into the couch. By the time he switched to your left foot, you were practically melting. ā€œThat better?ā€
ā€œYeah,ā€ you smiled, combing your fingers through his dark hair. He always took care of you. ā€œI swear, you have magic hands.ā€
ā€œOh, I have more than magic hands,ā€ he winked, your heart skipping a beat. ā€œAnd you know whatā€™s good for headaches?ā€
ā€œBuckyā€¦ā€ you smiled. There was a warning in your voice, but you couldn't help the amusement in your eyes.
ā€œYes, me,ā€ he grinned. ā€œIā€™m very good at helping with headaches and you know it.ā€
Your smile widened. ā€œThatā€™s not what I meant.ā€
ā€œOh, so making you come all over my face before I cook you dinner was not what you meant and will not help your headache?ā€ he asked, his voice deep, dripping with desire.
Whatever ache you felt in your body all went straight to your pussy. A deep, throbbing ache that cried out for him to soothe it since he was the cause. ā€œIs making melt on your tongue as my reward for working a double?ā€
He smirked at your breathy tone. ā€œThatā€™s exactly what it is.ā€ He didnā€™t need to ask you to lift your hips when he reached for the waistband of your pants and pulled them off with your underwear. Your body moved on instinct for him, fluid and in sync. ā€œI can feed you right here and carry you to bed, too.ā€
ā€œIā€™m too big and heavy for you to carry me,ā€ you teased. His eyes flashed, and before you could react, he leaned down unexpectedly, sinking his teeth into your thigh. Your mouth fell open from the sting, but it felt good, too. ā€œHey!ā€ You shrieked.
ā€œYouā€™re not big. Youā€™re not heavy. Youā€™re perfect,ā€ he snarled, brushing his tongue along the teeth marks. You wanted his mark all over you. ā€œIā€™ll blame that remark on how tired you are right now from work.ā€
Framing his face to lift his head, you met his lips in a soft kiss, hoping to convey how much it meant to you that he saw you as beautiful. How touched you were that he always put your care and feelings first. As scary as he looked to others, you knew the man inside. The one with a heart full of passion.
ā€œIā€™m not perfect,ā€ you whispered against his lips, gasping when he nibbled your bottom lip. A second bite for once again downplaying yourself. ā€œBut Iā€™m perfect for you.ā€
ā€œYou think so?ā€ he asked quietly.
ā€œI know so,ā€ you said, biting his bottom lip for good measure.
He thought you were too good for him some days, and you were quick to shut that down. A good man wouldnā€™t have taken care of his sister the way he did, and he wouldnā€™t love you wholeheartedly if he was less of a good person than you. His current profession didnā€™t define him, and you refused to let him believe it did.
ā€œI...ā€ He kissed the corner of your mouth. ā€œLove...ā€ You shivered when he kissed the other corner. ā€œYou.ā€
A flame lit within your heart. His tender touches and words burned you from the inside out. ā€œI love you, too,ā€ you managed to whisper before his lips covered yours again.
Fresh arousal washed over you when he smiled and kissed down your body. ā€œNow let me show you with my mouth how much I love you,ā€ he simpered, parting your legs to open for him. ā€œMight die if I donā€™t get my mouth on you and you wouldnā€™t want that, would you? And we need to get rid of your headache.ā€
You moaned, also feeling like youā€™d die if he didnā€™t touch you. ā€œDo I get your cock, too? Itā€™s a pretty bad headache you need to help me get rid of,ā€ you teased. If your pain actually persisted, heā€™d make you take something and insist on you resting. And maybe it was selfish to ask for more than one orgasm, but you both knew he wouldnā€™t turn down the opportunity to rock your world.
ā€œBefore and after dinner,ā€ he promised, his pupils dialting as he stared between your trembling thighs. ā€œFuck, I missed you today,ā€ he groaned.
ā€œMissed me or my pussy?ā€ you asked, certain that you were going to soak the cushion beneath you and you didnā€™t care as long as he got you off. ā€œBecause we both missed you.ā€
He smirked, his hand inching up your thigh. ā€œOf course, you missed me. Who else would make you come as hard as I do?ā€
Cocky was a good look on him, but you could play a little, too. ā€œWellā€¦ā€ Your coy smile had him raising his eyebrow. ā€œIf you really want to know, thereā€™s-ā€ You threw your head back with a cry as Buckyā€™s head dipped down to taste you, effectively cutting off your teasing.
It wouldnā€™t take long for you to coat his fingers and tongue with your release. It never did with him. Heā€™d make you taste yourself when he kissed you after so you could fully appreciate the orgasm he gave you. He wouldnā€™t give you any reprieve when heā€™d bend you over the couch and sink his cock into your sensitive pussy. Your sounds would be erotic music to his ears, just like his words were music to yours.
ā€œGrind that pussy back against me. Show me how much you crave my cock.ā€
ā€œSuch a good girl for me. Such a good pussy for me to fuck and fill.ā€
ā€œDonā€™t you dare rub your clit. You wanna come? Iā€™ll make you come.ā€
ā€œOh, you donā€™t have to beg for me to come inside you. Iā€™ll give it to you.ā€
Youā€™d scream his name in ecstasy and pass out in his arms from the best kind of exhaustion. Youā€™d wake up to him kissing your forehead and holding you upright so he could hand feed you a delicious meal. Youā€™d smile when he told you how much he loved you and that he'd be free of the chop shop soon. And youā€™d tell him you loved him, too, before he fucked you all over again.
It was going to be a good night.
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Appreciate you lovelies indulging me like always and hope to share more when I can. Love and thanks for reading! ā¤ļø
Masterlist āš“ Bucky Barnes Masterlist āš“ Ko-Fi
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ssahotchnerr Ā· 6 months ago
Note
hi!!! could you write aaron x bau! reader, where jack accidentally finds a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom or somewhere in a drawer before reader gets a chance to tell aaron)))šŸ«¶šŸ»
tells
omg omg i could cry šŸ«¶šŸ»šŸ„¹ cw; pregnant bau!reader, mentions of pregnancy symptoms, a ton of fluff <3 wc; 1k
"Hi sweetheart."
Aaron's eyes rose as you entered his office, before returning to the files laid atop his desktop, a paper in his right hand. His stare had lingered momentarily, so he noticed the bag in your hand. "Heading out?"
"Yup, gotta pick up Jack." You replied, hoping you sounded somewhat normal, given your current circumstances. You felt as if your voice was borderline squeaky, in that attempt to remain normal, while also resisting the urge to bounce on your toes. "You coming with?"
On another note, you were so incredibly thankful to be leaving early; overwhelmed with nausea, back pain, fatigue. Ginger ale had been within arm's reach all day, an achingly long day. Laying in bed had never sounded more appealing.
"No, I wish I could. There's a few consults I need to look over before tomorrow. It shouldn't take too long, though." He got up, inching towards you, "I can, however, spare some time for you."
Your nose scrunched in amusement, leaning up to peck his lips, "You're too good to me."
He chased your lips, murmuring into the kiss with a soft smirk and teasing you right back, "I do try."
After the two of you pulled away (and a whistle echoed outside from a passing Derek Morgan), you toyed with his tie, smoothing it cleanly against his torso. "Don't stay too late, okay?"
"I won't." Aaron kissed you once, twice more before retreating back to his desk. He held onto your hand for as long as possible, causing it to fall gracefully to your side. "I'll be home before dinner, I promise."
Instead of leaving, all you could do was stand there; staring at him, completely giddy. The secret you held, it made you feel a whole new kind of love when you looked at him. The father of your unborn child, the perfect addition to your family. A new love you had created together.
Aaron's gaze lifted, catching you ogling him, a confused smile forming on his face. "What?"
"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." You shrugged, forcing your feet towards the door. "I'll see you at home."
His eyes narrowed suspiciously, playfully. He absolutely didn't buy it. "Okay, drive safe."
-
"Hi." Jack greeted, climbing into the backseat and shutting the door behind him. He struggled the smallest amount, his backpack weighing him down.
"Hey Jackers," You twisted behind, offering a warm smile, "have a good day?"
"Yeah." He verified, and left it at that. He simply settled in, buckling up.
While you had thought you were the one being strange, he was definitely more so. As you took the route home, he remained quiet in the back, rather than being his usual talkative, wanting-to-tell-you-everything-about-his-day self. You peered at him in the rearview, observing him.
He didn't look pale, so hopefully he wasn't coming down with something. He didn't seem upset - his eyebrows always pinched together in worry when he was. Even this morning during breakfast for instance, he seemed far away, off in his own world. If you didn't know any better, he looked on edge, but in a jittery, seemingly excited way. Antsy, and oddly familiar.
"You okay?"
Jack nodded, keeping his eyes out the window. His absorbed expression indicated the gears continuing to turn in his mind.
"Did something happen today? You're awfully quiet."
"I have a question."
You stopped the car, arriving home, turning around in your seat again to fully look at him. "You know you can ask me anything. Whatever's on your mind, nothing's off limit."
His eyes lit up, hopeful yet quizzical. He quietly and timidly asked, "Am I getting a baby brother or sister?"
You blinked at him, surprised, as that was the last thing you expected to come out of his mouth. But you couldn't stop the small smile tugging its way onto your face. Not only because you were happy, of course, but you also didn't want him thinking he had done something wrong. "What makes you ask that?"
"I wasn't snooping, I promise. I went into your bathroom to look for some floss - Dad said I could, said it was in the top left drawer - and I saw it, it said pregnant. But I didn't mean to see, I swear."
Your expression softened sweetly, a gentle laugh escaping you too, "It's okay buddy, that's completely on me. I didn't do a very good job of concealing it at all."
An adorable, boyish smile pulled at his lips, the words leaving him shyly. He could infer the answer, but he needed the actual confirmation. "So... am I?"
After a moment's silence, letting the suspense linger, you confirmed, your heart bursting as you did. "You are."
"Yes!" He nearly shouted, immediately unbuckling his seatbelt and throwing his arms around you, as much as he could with the obstacle of the driver's seat. His arms mainly reached around your neck.
You laughed gleefully, your hands raising to his arms, squeezing them gently - a makeshift hug for the meantime. Tears dared to spill down your cheeks, overwhelmed with emotion.
He released the embrace, sobering for a moment and the realization beginning to fully set in. "I'm really getting a sister?"
"It could be a boy too." You arched a brow, grinning.
"Yeah," he matched your smile, buzzing with happiness. "And I'd love that too. But, I think it's gonna be a girl."
"Well, we'll just have to wait and see." You shrugged coyly, "It's still quite early, so we won't be able to find out for a couple weeks."
"Weeks?" He whined painfully, but it faded as fast as it had appeared. "I'm so excited. I can't wait."
"You wanna know something else?" He nodded profusely. "You're the only one who knows."
Jack's eyes brightened more if it were possible, in both exhilaration and shock. "Seriously?!"
For the meantime, it was a special secret, shared just between the two of you. You could've sobbed right there, between his genuine sweetness and excitement. And the hormones.
Regardless, he was going to be the best big brother.
"Dad doesn't know?"
"Not yet. I was brainstorming how to tell him, how to tell you, but you were just too quick for me." You flashed him a teasing grin. "That means you have to help me come up with a fun way to tell him, and quick, because I think he's onto me. Deal?"
Jack held out his pinky, interlocking it with yours. "Deal."
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ghouldump Ā· 5 months ago
Note
hi your fics are so amazing!!
if youā€™re open to requests, i was wondering if you could write a lestat x louis x reader fic that takes place during their huge fight in the townhouse? i can imagine the reader being a mother figure to claudia and trying to protect her during it and getting hurt in the process of trying to break up louis and lestat. iā€™d love to see how the reader deals with the aftermath of her and louisā€™ injuries as well as claudia taking care of the two of them.
sorry if its confusingšŸ˜­ i thought of this while rewatching s1
For The Love Of A Daughter | Lestat x Reader x Louis
ą·† out of fear, lestat does the unimaginable and has to try his hardest to win his family's trust back, but it may be too late
the comparison of s1 vs s2 of this scene had me on the edge of my seat šŸ„ŗ āš ļø THIS IS S1 E5 ā€¼ļø
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How did your once beautiful family go to ruins? When Claudia was created? When she rebelled? Or when she left? Your daughter, you would go to hell and back for her, yet, you couldn't convince her to stay.
Lestat was cruelly strict with her, invading her privacy by reading her diaries, not considering the fact that she was trapped in the early stages of puberty for an eternity. She couldn't help that she was a young girl stuck in this body, and he never let her forget or made it easier on her.
Louis, he'd always been passive, about your companionship, as well as his role as a parent. He wanted to keep the peace and harmony. If that meant allowing Lestat to discipline her, then heā€™d turn his head to not have to watch out of guilt.
Then you, Lestat often complained that you spoiled her too much. You never raised a finger to her, nor your voice. You hadn't been brought up that way, and so you did the same with her. You still remember the night she left. Packing only a few things, while you and Louis tried convincing her to stay. Standing her ground, she gave you both a hug, letting the wind carry her away.
Seven years flew by, silence made its way into the house that no longer felt like a home. Louis nose-deep in book after book, Lestat leaving going god knows where, while you remained secluded, drawing, reading, and sometimes staring at the wall.
Tonight was a rarity, Lestat wasn't running off, and Louis sat on the sofa, reading, while you sat in a chair, your head lying on your arm, taking in the soft jazz music.
Hearing the door open, Claudia entered, setting her suitcase on the floor. Rushing over, you wrapped your arms around her, rocking back and forth. Pulling away, your heart broke as Louis hugged her tightly. He too had been taking it so hard, since she had been gone. Abruptly, the music stopped, Lestat glaring at her.
ā€œThe prodigal daughterā€
ā€œI've come to apologize, I put all of you in a bad spot, I wasn't right in my head. I am now,ā€ she said. You couldn't put your finger on it, but there was something different about her, a certain brokenness, she was trying to shut away.
ā€œApology not accepted,ā€ Lestat said.
ā€œHow was college? Magna cum? Summa cum? Phi Beta Kappa?ā€ he continued.
ā€œI've read a lot of books. Started with Persia and Babylon, the old gods who longed for blood. A lot of it was popcorn, but a few old tomes. A Romanian tract on vampirs. A strange old Hungarian text, ā€˜Masticatione Mortuorum,ā€™ the chewing dead. I plan to leave for that part of the world as soon as I can,ā€ she told him. You and Louis shared a look, sensing that this wasn't headed in a positive direction.
ā€œSo, quick stop home to do laundry before you fuck off for good,ā€ Lestat spat.
ā€œA quick stop to pick up my mama and Louis,ā€ she told him. Your hand went to your stomach, trying to control the unsettling nervousness building up. Lestat glanced at the two of you, before glaring at her in disgust.
ā€œOh, Perused a few folklore anthologies, and now you're going to cross the ocean and take on a society of monsters,ā€ he said, slowly making his way towards her.
ā€œIf what I've read is lies, then tell me what's true,ā€ she told him, but he only continued to stare at her as if she was beneath him.
ā€œSeven years and whatā€™s changed, other than you need a housekeeper?ā€ she sneered. He slowly approached her, and as you were about to step forward to intervene, Louis grabbed your hand, discreetly shaking his head.
ā€œThe vampires out thereā€¦are vicious. Oh, but you've learned that already. Who did you meet out there in the American hinterland? Read her,ā€ Lestat looked at the two of you, walking away. Staring at her, you quickly wiped the tear from your eye, you couldn't imagine what she had been through all on her own.
ā€œThatā€™s it, keep 'em scared. That's his way,ā€ she said to you both.
ā€œThe vampires in Europe are much, much worseā€
ā€œBut I think he's scared,ā€ she spoke over him.
ā€œI never asked, how did Charlie taste? Like the love you'll never really know,ā€ he said, trying to get under her skin.
ā€œAnd when he's scared, he ridiculesā€
ā€œShe was a destitute little girl, destined to live an inconsequential little life,ā€ he said, approaching the both of you.
ā€œAnd we took it from her, we cursed her,ā€ Louis said, making the smug expression drop from his face. Looking at you, his frown deepened, seeing you gaze at her, the bloody tears moments from seeping out.
ā€œCome with me!ā€ she called out, both of you staring at her.
ā€œCome with me, mama, Louisā€
ā€œLouis, Y/n,ā€ Lestat said, becoming angry as neither of you looked at him.
ā€œI thought I could live without either of you, but I was wrong,ā€ Claudia said, her eyes pleading for you to come along.
ā€œY/n, Louisā€
ā€œLouis, Y/n,ā€ Lestat continued, raising his voice.
ā€œHis love is a small box he keeps you both in, don't stay in it,ā€ she said, as you glanced at him.
ā€œA thousand nights of sulking, and the first sight of her, you are just gonna up and leave me?!ā€ Lestat yelled.
ā€œPlease, come with me! Letā€™s be vampires worth of your love!ā€ Claudia screamed before Lestat surged, choking her.
ā€œGet off of her,ā€ you said, going to shove him off of her. However, he was much stronger, gaining the upper hand, his fingers wrapping around your throat, he looked unrecognizable.
ā€œYou, always choosing her,ā€ he spat, before Louis charged over, tackling him.
As they fought, Claudia screamed, panicking, as you tried to keep up with them. Throwing Louis in the living room. Lestat straddled him, punching him in the face.
ā€œLestat, stop it,ā€ you cried out, jumping on his back, but he easily slung you across the room, as you smashed into the wall, you could feel your arm already broken.
ā€œClaudia, stay down here,ā€ you told her, rushing to the bedroom.
ā€œStop fighting,ā€ you screamed, as they continued tackling each other.
ā€œLet him go,ā€ you hear Claudia crying.
ā€œItā€™s alright, you stay where you're at,ā€ Louis told her, as if he wasn't completely bruised up.
ā€œYou're going to choose her too? Leave me for her when she left you both, Iā€™ve been here,ā€ he told you, as you slowly backed away, unsure of what he'd do next.
ā€œLestat st-
ā€œDo not tell me what to do,ā€ he told you, wrapping his hand around your throat, and pulling you close. His nails were in your skin, with your airway completely blocked.
Dragging both of you downstairs, and outside, you could hear Claudia running.
ā€œI fought myself a million times, fought my nature, controlled my temper. I never once harmed either of you,ā€ he said.
ā€œLet him go,ā€ you cried, hoarsely, trying to claw at his hand, while reaching for Louis.
ā€œSilence,ā€ he told you.
ā€œUncle Lesā€
ā€œIt's Uncle Les, now suddenly?ā€
ā€œLet them go, they didn't do nothinā€™, let them go, it's me you want,ā€ you could hear her steps approaching.
ā€œListen to me, and listen very carefully my infant death, it was never you. No matter how much your mama made you think otherwise,ā€ he spat, crushing your throat, and dragging you both out into the road.
ā€œI chose you, and you, given you the dark gift and you've betrayed me,ā€ he said, biting into your neck, draining almost every ounce of blood from your body, before throwing you, watching as you flew into the backyard, colliding with bricks, you could feel your rib cage shatter.
However, as you stood up, you quickly fell to your knees in pain and fear for Louisā€™s life, watching as they flew into the sky to the point where they were no longer seen.
ā€œMama, are you alright?ā€ Claudia ran to you, reaching for her hand, your other hand on your throat. You couldn't speak, Lestatā€™s nails had managed to pierce through. Claudia gasped, as you coughed, blood spilling out.
ā€œAre you okay?ā€ you asked.
ā€œIā€™m okay, we just need to get Louis,ā€ she said, helping you stand, however, just as you stood, Louis fell from the sky, hitting the ground. Limping over, you were afraid to touch him, the slightest touch looked as if it would break him even more.
Crying, you looked up, staring into Lestatā€™s eyes as he flew over you all, not saying a word. You couldn't say it, but from your expression, there was no way you could easily forgive him after this.
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Healing was a struggle, not just from the physical damage, but any previous trust was gone. While you managed to bounce back within a few months, Louis had a long way to go. Lestat skipped town and hadn't bothered to show his face.
You avoided thinking about him, altogether. Dedicating yourself to Claudia and Louis, from coffin-bound to limping, every day was progress. Louis was slowly getting better and you both worked on strengthing your bond with Claudia. Then the calls started coming.
All of this time, you managed to push through the soreness and pain, but the moment he called you hid away, licking your eternal wounds. He was a completely different person that night, the things he said, the things he'd done. After Louis fully healed, you were no longer opposed to the idea of leaving for Europe with Claudia.
Hearing the doorbell ringing, you turned your head, watching as Claudia went outside. You could hear his voice, he had gifts, and he wanted to talk, to apologize. Louis went upstairs, throwing his coffin out of the window, you couldn't help but snicker.
ā€œThereā€™s your answerā€
ā€œAnd where is Y/n? I know she would enjoy these paints, they are rare. I paid quite a price because I knew she would make the most beautiful-
ā€œMy mama ain't got nothinā€™ to say to you, like you said, she betrayed you, choosing me,ā€ she told him, shutting the door, and locking it.
Coming back to the living room, she glanced your way before to Louis, who came from upstairs. As Louis sat next to you, you pulled him close.
ā€œYou okay?ā€ you asked him.
ā€œGetting there,ā€ he mumbled, smiling as you kissed his cheek.
Lestat didn't show his face anymore, but the gifts never stopped. Each time more spontaneous than the next, and while you knew, Louis was becoming weaker, you wished you could say the same for yourself.
ā€œEmily Dickinson is not a vampire,ā€ Louis said, as you laughed.
ā€œHow do you know?ā€ she asked.
ā€œBecause she is dead,ā€ you pointed out.
ā€œHow do you know?ā€
ā€œShe got a grave,ā€ Louis said.
ā€œAnd a tombstone,ā€ you added.
ā€œSo do you,ā€ She told Louis, all of you laughing, afterward.
As you crossed the streets, the driver honked their horn, as they slowly came to a stop in front of you. Opening the door, Lestat climbed out, smiling at you all. Rolling your eyes, you simply looked the other way.
ā€œ25 horsepower Rolls-Royce six-cylinder engine and a front end they call a coffin nose, is that rich? This oneā€™s yours, mineā€™s back at home in blue,ā€ he said, showing off the new car, and tossing the keys to Louis.
ā€œI know how much you despise driving, so I got you other things, the finest fabrics, books, art supplies, and music, waiting for you at home, I'm back in town permanently,ā€ he continued, looking your way, but you just stared off to the side, as if you didn't see him.
ā€œWere you gone?ā€ Claudia asked him.
ā€œAcross the river, in Algiers,ā€ he said, you could still feel his eyes on the two of you.
ā€œYou know who lives in Algiersā€ Claudia said to you, as you clenched your jaw.
ā€œI don't know what possessed me that night,ā€ he said.
ā€œThree years ago, that night, three years ago, he means,ā€ Claudia corrected him.
ā€œI was someone I don't want to be anymore. I've changed. Let me prove it to you. Iā€™m nothing without you. Iā€™m nothing without any of youā€
ā€œIf you want me to go away, just say so. Iā€™ll obey you. Iā€™ll leave your lives forever. This silence is cruel, all I ask is that Y/n looks at me. You haven't spared me a glance since I've been here. Neither of you were ever cruel, don't let our situation change you,ā€ he said.
ā€œJust look at him,ā€ Louis pleaded.
Turning to face him, he cleared his throat, straightening his posture. You didn't say anything, emotionlessly staring at him.
ā€œYou look stunning as always, ma chĆ©rie,ā€ he complimented, his heart breaking as you looked away again.
Taking the keys, Claudia threw them, before scratching the car, reaching for your hand, walking away.
Six years, came and went, and more gifts flooded the house. It was unspoken between you and Louis that you both missed him. Although it looked different, Louis wanted him to come running back, each extravagant, but sentimental gift was tugging more and more at Louisā€™s heart. You preferred the distance, reminiscing on the past, before that night. You didn't think you could have that back, now, you secretly enjoyed every time he saw you, or wrote to you, begging that you would acknowledge him.
Unexpectedly, it happened, the record came in the mail and was immediately played. The song meant to win you both back while pissing you off, a song sung by his affair partner. Louis was seething, grabbing the record, and ran out of the house.
ā€œYou're not going with him?ā€ Claudia asked.
ā€œThey will be back,ā€ you mumbled, knowing his plan worked, he got through to Louis and would be coming back.
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ā€œRule number four-
ā€œKill Antoinetteā€
ā€œAntoinette is my own private-
ā€œAffair,ā€ Claudia said.
ā€œSaid child, interfering in the romantic lives of her parents,ā€ Lestat said, wanting one of you to stop her. She had been sharp with him since the moment he stepped into the house.
ā€œShe will be 33 soon, far from a child,ā€ you reminded him, rolling your eyes.
ā€œItā€™s a lick and a promise in vampire years,ā€ he shrugged.
ā€œMaybe, but I am not your child anymore, that's rule number five,ā€ Claudia said, catching his attention.
His eyes shifted from her to you, your interlocked hands. She had you, wrapped around her fingers, taken from him. Louis was more willing to work on the broken relationship, but you had shut him out, choosing your child.
ā€œIā€™ll be your companion, your sister,ā€ she told him, as he scoffed.
ā€œIt's not as simple as choosing a new family configuration, now I'm your cousin, now I'm your aunt, I am your maker,ā€ he told her rudely.
ā€œIā€™m going to bed,ā€ you said, standing abruptly, he looked into your cold eyes, searching for any emotion.
ā€œWill you not lay down your rules, as well?ā€ he asked, sarcastically.
ā€œGood night,ā€ was all you said, turning away, going upstairs.
ā€œShe needs time,ā€ you could hear Louis say.
Did you need more time? You didn't go through nearly as much as Louis and he managed to forgive him, why couldn't you? You were never maternal until Claudia came along, perhaps it came with being a mother. The way that he treated her, turned you against him. As much as you loved him, thinking back to the times you were spoiled, lavished as if you were royalty, you couldn't bring yourself to open up.
Hunting became insufferable. Louis began drinking human blood, it was supposed to bring everyone closer, hunting as a family, but you kept your distance. He knew he'd wounded you, his choice of words hurting you just as bad, and he'd have to be more persistent to win you back.
ā€œI wished youā€™d look at me, the simplest glance would help me a great deal,ā€ he said, following you, sighing in relief as you faced him.
ā€œHappy?ā€
ā€œYou have my heart at your will, your precious words command me, and I would do anything you ask of me,ā€ he said, trying to fight the tears, as you slowly approached him.
ā€œTake up your heart, I wouldn't want you to feel betrayed when I don't choose you,ā€ you said, turning around, leaving him to stand there and try to gather his emotions.
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ā€œCould you at least try to compromise?ā€ Louis asked you, as you looked through the different fabrics in the store.
ā€œI am-
ā€œNo, you're not, you put your coffin in Claudiaā€™s room, and the other night, whatever you said, he cried himself to sleepā€
ā€œAw, poor baby,ā€ you said, placing the fabrics into Louisā€™ arms.
ā€œYou agreed that we would work things out, everybody is compromising trying to work through our problems, we need you too,ā€ he said, pouting, as you approached the cash register.
ā€œFine, I hate when you give me that look,ā€ you playfully rolled your eyes at him.
ā€œThank you, I love you,ā€ you grinned.
ā€œI love you,ā€ you laughed, pecking his lips.
Later that night, after putting away your things, and changing into your nightgown, you were about to into Claudiaā€™s room, when you stopped. Huffing, you went to your shared bedroom, opening the door.
ā€œDid she say anything? I left a note, but she never responds,ā€ Lestat grumbled.
ā€œI talked with her, but it is up to her to make a decision,ā€ Louis said.
ā€œI hope you don't expect us to squeeze that coffin,ā€ you said, making both of them face you.
ā€œWe could always sleep in the bed,ā€ Louis offered, both of them approaching you.
ā€˜Thank youā€™ he said, as you faced Lestat.
ā€œWill you keep that stupid look on your face, or will you speak?ā€ you asked.
ā€œI didn't know it was okay for me to do so,ā€ he chuckled.
ā€œY/n is willing to compromise, she hasn't said it verbally, but she does still love you,ā€ Louis spoke, as you stared at the two of them.
ā€œMa chĆ©rie, if I could take back what I've said, what Iā€™ve done-
ā€œBut you can'tā€
ā€œI can't, and I will have to live with the burden of knowing I hurt you and Louis both, your role in Claudiaā€™s life was never a problem, I am sorry, my love,ā€ he said, walking to you, falling to his knees in front of you. His head laid against your stomach, and he continued to apologize profusely.
ā€œTo have you look at me, after months of refusal, even if it is a look of anger, is to see heaven,ā€ he said, looking up at you. Reaching for his hand, you helped him stand, pecking his lips. Holding your hand out for Louis, as soon as he was close enough, your lips were on his soft skin.
Pushing Lestat onto the bed, you straddled his lap, rolling your hips, as Louis stood behind you, kissing your neck. Leaning down, you wrapped your hands around his neck.
ā€œIā€™ll forgive you, but if you ever do anything remotely similar, Iā€™ll make sure you burn in the sun, and Iā€™ll wear you as makeup,ā€ you said, making him smirk.
ā€œAnything you say, although the thought of me being on your face, arouses me greatly,ā€ he said, watching as you pulled Louis onto the bed, moving over to him.
Your nearly decade-long monogamy had now come to an end, sharing the night with Louis and Lestat. You had forgotten how spontaneous he was, managing to pleasure both of you.
ā€˜Have you taken him back, like Louis?ā€™ Claudia asked.
ā€˜For nowā€™ you thought, as Lestat kissed along your shoulder blade.
ā€˜Do you think Louis will help?ā€™
ā€˜He willā€™
ā€˜Do you think it will work?ā€™
ā€˜I don't know, my child, but we will tryā€™
ā€˜We can do it, mama, he wants to keep you and Louis for himself, he hates me and would probably kill me if it meant having you both aloneā€™
ā€˜I knowā€™
Now lying in bed, Lestat in between you and Louis, both of you in his arms.
ā€œI hope you will allow me to continue to prove myself to you, and I am lost without either of you, I feel empty without you both here with me, I love you,ā€ he spoke, you couldn't deny the way your heart fluttered.
ā€œThen it is official, we will kill Lestatā€™
ā€˜And if our plan doesn't work?ā€™
ā€˜Then we escape to Europe, we find other vampires, and we rebuild our lives there, does that sound okay?ā€
ā€˜It sounds perfectā€™
ā€˜Great, good night mamaā€™
ā€˜Good night, my childā€™
Looking up at Lestatā€™s face, he lay peacefully, his eyes shut, face relaxed. He was incredibly handsome, you didn't dare tell Claudia but coming to this room, you were just as weak as Louis. Would you be able to kill this beautiful man, the love of your life? Or run away and live an eternity with your daughter? You couldn't decide anymore, only time would tell.
brotha eughhh, this was so mid
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flagellant Ā· 1 year ago
Text
For the past few years I've been enchanted by the idea of the divine as intrinsically horrific and dehumanizing, but not in the usual assumption (pun intended), where the intrinsic dehumanization and horror comes from something like "A god looked at me and I turned into stone" or "I, a mortal, looked at a god and got turned into a laurel tree".
I've been thinking about it in the opposite direction. Where being a god is intrinsically horrific and dehumanizing.
To put it another way: I've been writing a lot from the perspective of divinity where the god experiences godhood in the way a haunted house experiences househood. You were created by mortals for comfort, for condolence, for safety, for sympathy. You were built with all the care and special attention to ensure that you would last a long time--longer than your inhabitants would live, but that's fine, because they'll leave you descendants.
Except you, unlike the average house, have a brain. Have hands. Have a stomach which can hunger but never starve. You cannot die, but you know what death is. You see humans and raccoons and spiders and trees and rocks and everything else in this whole world die all the time, but it will not touch you.
How many years do you think it takes before your mouth starts to salivate like your gut's gone sour? How many endings do you have to witness before you begin to stop caring when things you paid attention to die? How many times do you hear your name contort and twist under the weight of different empires' languages before you stop recognizing it as yours anymore, and cease answering when they call?
How long does it take before you stop being capable of interacting with the rest of the world in a way that a person can understand, can safely comprehend, would ever want to experience?
And how much of that, do you think, do you let happen on purpose, because the alternatives were all too much to even begin to imagine after one too many mountains turned to sand before your eyes?
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kngrose Ā· 2 months ago
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Could you do yandere head cannons for Caitlyn from arcane?
š˜š€ššƒš„š‘š„ š‡š„š€šƒš‚š€ššŽšš’
includes caitlyn jayce victor vander
WARNINGS: implied stalking, implied drugging, infantilization, coercion, general unhealthy behaviors
from roselĆ­. į”£š­© : decided to pair these guys up because there was sooooo many requests for them! ^^
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caitlyn protective type
She wasnā€™t always this way. It was an accident that caused something in her to change.Ā  The bullet had just barely grazed her, a close call, but one that made her realize just how fragile everything could be. It wasn't the pain that lingered in her body, but the sense of terror that gripped her heart when she thought she might never see you again. What if it were you insteadā€“ what if the bullet didnā€™t just graze you? What if it went through you instead?
She was already drawn to you, but after that brush with death, Caitlynā€™s feelings became something she couldnā€™t ignore anymore. The idea of losing youā€”someone who had become her rockā€”became a constant, gnawing presence in her mind. She had survived countless dangers before, but the thought of you slipping away was far worse.
It wasnā€™t long before Caitlyn started showing up more often. She would check in on you regularly, whether you were in the office or just at home, her presence now a familiar yet unspoken thing. "I just wanted to make sure you're alright," sheā€™d say, though you couldnā€™t recall ever needing to be checked on. At first, it seemed like genuine concern, but soon, you began to notice how her eyes would linger just a little too long, and how her posture seemed tense when you werenā€™t near.Ā 
Her love, while seemingly genuine, would feel smothering at times, as if she canā€™t let you out of her sight for too long. She might start showing up unexpectedly, always with an excuse, but slowly turning up at your most inconvenient times. Caitlyn might resort to more extreme measures. She might manipulate situations to make you think you're in danger or that you can only trust her. Sheā€™d plant lies, create paranoia, and twist things so you decide to seclude yourself more.Ā 
Caitlyn canā€™t just simply be a part of your lifeā€”sheā€™d want to control it. She would subtly start dictating where you go and, who you interact with.Ā  Youā€™d feel like you have no room to breathe without her approval.Ā 
Ā The near-death experience had cracked something inside of her. Caitlyn needed reassuranceā€”not just that you were safe, but that you werenā€™t going anywhere. She began to ask, almost obsessively, if you were sure you were happy with her, if she was doing enough for you, if you felt as though you were being properly protected. Her doubts about her own ability to protect you made her needier, more insistent on showing that she could keep you safe from the chaos that threatened your world.
ā€œYouā€™re not going to leave me, are you?ā€ Youā€™d awoken in the middle of the night to her staring down at you in the dark bedroom. It was weirdā€” had she been watching you sleep? Her voice was soft but heavy with something unspoken. The question hung in the air, and you could see the hint of panic in her eyes. She had always been so composed, so controlled, but this new Caitlynā€”this Caitlyn who had almost lost youā€”was breaking down those walls.
Ā Her jealousy would flare when she saw you interacting with others, especially anyone who showed a hint of interest in you. Caitlyn couldnā€™t help it. Her need to keep you safe extended to wanting to keep others away, ensuring that no one else would get too close to you. Her envy would manifest in small waysā€”like an extra long hug when you returned to her side, a slightly tighter grip on your hand in public. When someone else laughed with you, Caitlyn would withdraw slightly, her smile turning into something forced. ā€œDonā€™t get too close to them,ā€ sheā€™d murmur later when you were alone, her tone carrying a mix of fear and a protective sharpness. It was as though her love for you had warped into something far darker.
Sheā€™d say things like, ā€œYou donā€™t need to do anything without me. Iā€™m here to help you,ā€ and youā€™d find it difficult to refuse, because behind her words was a certain pleadingā€”an unspoken desperation for you not to pull away from her.
Her emotional dependence on you grew stronger with each passing day. Caitlyn would assure you that she wasnā€™t trying to control you, but her actions spoke otherwise. She couldnā€™t stand the idea of you slipping away from her, of you finding comfort in anyone else. You were hers to protect, and no one would ever take you from her.
On the flip side, Caitlyn's loyalty would be unwavering. If you ever found yourself in danger or in need of help, sheā€™d stop at nothing to make sure you were okay, even if it meant making dangerous choices or going against her moral compass. In her mind, you're hers, and she'll do anything to keep you safe, even if itā€™s at the expense of others.
Ā The first time she almost lost you, Caitlyn had been ready to tear the world apart to ensure it wouldnā€™t happen again. Now, her obsession had grown to the point where it wasnā€™t about safety anymoreā€”it was about ownership. You had become her entire world, the one thing that mattered above all else.
The question was no longer how could she keep you safe. It became how could she keep you with her? She couldnā€™t bear the thought of you slipping through her fingers.
ā€œPromise me you wonā€™t leave me,ā€ she whispered one night, her hand trembling slightly as she held you. Her eyes searched your face, looking for something that would assure her, reassure her, make her believe that you wouldnā€™t leave her alone in a world that felt far too dangerous without you.
You could see the vulnerability in her gaze, the fear, and the obsession lurking just beneath the surface. Caitlyn had changed. Her love for you had become a tether, a need, a consuming thing that had overtaken every part of her. And now, she needed to make sure you would never walk away.
It wasnā€™t just about love anymore. It was about control. It was about keeping you close, locked in her world, never letting go.
jayce fixating type
After the breakup, Jayceā€™s world shattered in a way he had never anticipated. For so long, he had been consumed by his work, his passion for Hextech and its potential to change the world, that he hadnā€™t noticed the growing distance between him and the one person who had once been his emotional anchor. His heart had been so tied to his inventions, to the pursuit of progress, that he never imagined he could lose the one thing that mattered to him more than anythingā€”her.
When you broke up with him, it felt like the ground beneath his feet had crumbled away. The calm, steady hand that had always guided him through his struggles was suddenly gone. He tried to reason with you at first, to explain that Hextech was not just a project, but a visionā€”a chance to make the world a better place. But as your eyes turned away from him, he began to realize that it wasnā€™t just about the work. It was about him. And his focus, his obsession with Hextech, had taken him so far away from you that he had lost sight of what truly mattered.
That realization consumed him. In his mind, he couldnā€™t accept itā€”couldnā€™t accept the idea that it was his own blindness to your needs that had driven you away. He had never truly seen it before, but now that it was gone, he saw it everywhere: your absence, the way his lab felt colder, how every success in his work now felt hollow without you by his side. The weight of your rejection clung to him like a shadow.
And so began his obsession.
Jayceā€™s need to fix things started as an impulseā€”a desperate attempt to prove he could balance both the future of Hextech and the future with you. But as days turned to weeks and you remained distant, his obsession grew darker. He started showing up at your door, uninvited, his gaze intense, almost pleading. He would try to convince you that things could be differentā€”that he could change, that he could be there for you. But in truth, it wasnā€™t about change. It wasnā€™t about improving himself. It was about keeping you close, where he could protect you, where he could ensure that you never left again.
Jayce had always been a man of intellect, but now, logic and reason had abandoned him. He couldnā€™t fathom the idea of you being free from him, of you moving on. The thought made him sick, twisting in his gut. He began to manipulate your conversations, pushing boundaries, trying to create situations where you would need him, where you would have no choice but to return. He would remind you of all the moments you had shared, the promises he had made to you, all the things that had once made you believe in him. But none of this was genuine anymoreā€”none of it was the person he used to be. He was no longer trying to rebuild a relationship. Now, he was trying to reclaim you, no matter the cost.
The obsession deepened. He began showing up at places he knew you'd be, lingering in the background, watching you as you went about your life without him. If he couldnā€™t keep you at his side through words, he would make sure you couldnā€™t escape through actions. In the quiet moments, Jayceā€™s mind would race, imagining the worstā€”what if you found someone else? What if you grew stronger without him? What if, one day, you were truly gone?
His need to keep you close became all-consuming. Jayce started to twist the very things he loved about you into weapons for his obsession. Heā€™d tell himself he was doing this for you, for the future of both of you. Heā€™d tell himself that he wasnā€™t controlling, that he was just keeping you safe from the world outside. But deep down, he knew the truth. He was terrified. Terrified of losing you. Terrified that his obsession had driven you to a place where the only thing left was distance, and that distance was now a gulf he couldnā€™t cross.
Jayce had always been a man of vision, but now that vision had warped. He couldnā€™t see a future without you, and he couldnā€™t accept the possibility that you had chosen a life without him. His desire to protect, to build a better world, had been replaced by a singular focusā€”keeping you from slipping away. And with every attempt, every plea, he could feel his grip on you tightening. But what he didnā€™t realize was that the more he pulled you in, the more he suffocated what little remained of the love you once shared.
In his obsession, Jayce had lost sight of the one thing that could have healed them both: the space to breathe, to be free, to make choices. Instead, he was creating a prison of his own design, and with every day that passed, he was sealing both of your fates in it.
victor savior type
Victor had always been driven by the idea of progress. From the moment he first set foot in Piltover, he had envisioned a future where technology and science could heal the broken, the sick, and the flawed. His dreams were grandā€”of perfecting the human body, of eradicating weakness and suffering. But after his experiences in the Arcane, that ideal evolved. It wasnā€™t just about saving others anymore. It became about creating something that could be truly perfectā€”and, somewhere along the way, you became the focus of that vision.
At first, Victor admired you from afar, intrigued by your brilliance and passion. You were like himā€”a seeker of knowledge, a person striving for something more. But it wasnā€™t long before he began to notice the small things about you, things that most people wouldnā€™t see. The subtle hesitation when you looked at your reflection, the way you seemed to fight against something within yourself that you couldnā€™t escape. It was there in your eyes, in your postureā€”this quiet dissatisfaction with who you were. Victor saw it as weakness. A flaw. Something that could be fixed.
In the beginning, it was just a passing thought. A small seed planted in the back of his mind: ā€œWhat if I could help them?ā€ But as the days passed, that seed grew. Every interaction you had with Victor became tinged with this idea, this possibility that he could take you, just as he had taken his own body and reshaped it, and bring you to a higher form of existenceā€”his vision of perfection.
He became obsessed, not with curing illness or repairing his own mechanical body, but with fixing you. Every glance, every word you spoke, was studied carefully. He began to analyze you, to understand what made you unhappy, what flaws you perceived in yourself. He noticed how you would sigh when looking at your reflection or how youā€™d become withdrawn after difficult interactions.
And, somewhere deep inside, Victor felt a rush of excitement. I could fix this, he thought. I could make them perfect.
Victor began to put his plans into motion. At first, it was subtleā€”small changes. He'd offer you assistance, claiming it was for your benefit, your health. Perhaps it was a supplement to help with fatigue, a mechanical adjustment here and there, things that would seem innocuous. But all the while, he was slipping things into your life, gently guiding you toward the idea that something needed to changeā€”something big. He began talking more about his own work, his experiments with biomechanical evolution, how he had perfected his own body through the use of Hextech technology, how he had become better. He spoke of it with such enthusiasm, such conviction, that you couldnā€™t help but listen.
And you began to listen more closely, to wonder if he was right. Could you truly evolve into something better? Could you become free of the insecurities that haunted you? Victorā€™s words were so convincing, so filled with promise, that the idea began to take root. But even as you were drawn deeper into his world, you couldnā€™t quite shake the feeling that something was off. His gaze lingered too long, his smile a little too knowing, as if he saw something in you that you didnā€™t see yourself.
Victor was careful, patient. He needed you to want it, to believe in the perfection he promised, because that was the only way his plans could truly succeed. He began to subtly manipulate your environment, ensuring that youā€™d be isolated from others, making it more difficult to question his intentions. You would be so wrapped up in his ideas of progress, his vision of perfection, that you wouldnā€™t even think to resist.
His words became more frequent, more insistent. Heā€™d talk about the benefits of his work, of how it could be applied to you, how much better you could be with his guidance. Youā€™d hear him speak of the ā€œimprovementsā€ he could makeā€”subtle at first, but gradually escalating. The more time you spent with him, the more you found yourself considering the idea, wondering if it could really work.
But in Victorā€™s mind, this wasnā€™t just about improving you. It was about making you into something that could never reject him again. Something perfect. Youā€™d be his greatest creationā€”your flaws erased, your body transformed, your mind reshaped. In his mind, he was offering you salvation, even as he slowly ensnared you in his vision. You wouldnā€™t have a choice in the matter; the idea of perfection, of becoming whole, would consume you entirely. And when the time came, he would reveal his true intentions.
There would be no turning back.
Victorā€™s obsession grew with every passing day. He watched you carefully, analyzing how you reacted to his suggestions. Every word he spoke was another piece of the puzzle, another step toward his goal. He was a patient man, and he would wait until the perfect moment arrived, when you were so entangled in his vision that you would beg him to make you perfect.
By then, it would be too late to stop him. His arcane technology would transform you, reshape you, into something that could never reject him again. And once you were his creation, the perfect version of yourself, you would belong to himā€”body, mind, and soul.
vander infantilizing type
Vander was always a protector. Heā€™d spent his life making sure the people of Zaun, especially those close to him, stayed safe from the dangers that loomed over the Undercity. To him, protection was everythingā€”his family, his crew, and you, the person he cherished most in his heart. But over time, something shifted in his mind, a shift so gradual that neither of you noticed it at first.
It started with small acts of kindness. When you were out, Vander would show up unexpectedly, insisting on walking you home, even if it was just down the block. ā€œZaun can be unpredictable,ā€ heā€™d say with a smile. ā€œI just want to make sure youā€™re safe.ā€ It seemed harmless at first, but there was a subtle urgency in his words, a note of unspoken control hidden beneath his seemingly loving gestures. He never directly told you what to do, but you began to feel his presence more and more, often when you least expected it.
Ā At first, it was innocent. He would casually ask about your day, making sure you were staying out of trouble, always with a smile and a reassuring hand on your shoulder. But then the questions became more frequent. ā€œWhere were you?ā€ ā€œWho were you with?ā€ ā€œDid you get home okay?ā€ He never seemed satisfied with a simple ā€œIā€™m fine,ā€ needing the specifics of every encounter, every moment you spent away from him.
Vander never outright said he didnā€™t trust you, but the way heā€™d check in felt more like a constant inspection, as though he had to make sure you were always on the right path. He would often show up at places you didnā€™t expect him to be, seemingly out of nowhere, with that protective smile of his. It wasnā€™t out of malice, but of love, or so he told himself. The idea that you might stray from his care, even accidentally, made him uneasy.
Vander had always treated you like an equal, someone who could handle themselves in this chaotic world. But slowly, as his protective instinct overpowered his rational thinking, he began to take over more of your responsibilities. At first, it was small thingsā€”offering to take care of errands or tasks you could easily do yourself. ā€œYou donā€™t need to worry about that,ā€ heā€™d say, brushing it off as no trouble at all. You were busy, after all, and Vander was happy to lighten your load.
But as time went on, the things he took over grew biggerā€”decisions about your personal life, where you went, what you did. ā€œI donā€™t think you should be hanging around them,ā€ heā€™d say, and suddenly your plans for the evening were altered without so much as a thought. At first, you were grateful for his care, thinking it was just his way of protecting you. You didnā€™t realize that it wasnā€™t about care at allā€”it was about removing your ability to make your own choices, piece by piece, until you werenā€™t sure where his influence ended and your own will began.
Ā You had always been capable of making your own decisions. But gradually, Vander began offering advice with a weight that felt more like instruction. ā€œI donā€™t think itā€™s a good idea to go there today. I heard things arenā€™t safe around that part of town. Youā€™d be better off staying in.ā€ His words werenā€™t demanding, but they carried a subtle pressure. The more you heard his concerns, the more you started to question your own decisions, second-guessing yourself.
Soon, you found yourself deferring to him more often. It wasnā€™t that you didnā€™t want to do things your way, but the more he guided you, the more you felt that maybe he was right. That maybe he knew better. His opinions began to overshadow your own, and with each piece of advice, his grip on your autonomy tightened without either of you realizing it.
Vander never directly tried to pull you away from your friends or your life outside of him, but little by little, he began to discourage it. ā€œYou know, they donā€™t always have your best interests at heart,ā€ heā€™d say with a concerned look when you mentioned spending time with someone else. Heā€™d never speak ill of your friends outright, but his warnings always lingered in your mind.
You began to notice that you didnā€™t hang out with your friends as much anymore. His presence seemed to always loom, and when you tried to make plans without him, you felt guilty. His protective smile would reappear whenever you suggested a solo outing, and heā€™d suddenly have a reason why you shouldnā€™t go. ā€œI just think itā€™s better if you stick with me for now. Just to be safe.ā€
Over time, the lines between his care and his control became blurred. You started to spend more time with him, less with others, and you began to depend on him more than you realized.
Vanderā€™s concern turned into something more infantilizing. He would no longer treat you as an equal, but as someone who needed constant guidance. Every decision you made seemed to be followed by him taking over or offering advice that bordered on patronizing.
ā€œYouā€™ve been through a lot today, you should rest. Iā€™ll take care of things,ā€ heā€™d say, trying to get you to step back from your own responsibilities. Heā€™d make you feel like you didnā€™t need to handle things on your own, and that, in itself, became his way of asserting control. You began to rely on him more and more for even the smallest of tasks, from taking care of your finances to managing your relationships with others.
He would smile and say, ā€œIā€™m just looking out for you. You donā€™t need to worry about these things, Iā€™m here to handle them for you.ā€ At first, it seemed like an act of kindness, but over time, it felt like your independence was slipping away. Your world became smaller, controlled by the boundaries heā€™d created, and you found yourself feeling like a child, helpless to make decisions without his approval.
Vanderā€™s control was insidious. His intentions were goodā€”he wanted to protect you, to shield you from the harsh world of Zaunā€”but in doing so, he lost sight of the balance between care and domination. His protection slowly became a cage, and what was once a bond built on mutual respect began to feel more like an overbearing relationship.
ā€œYou know Iā€™m only doing this because I love you, right?ā€ he would say, when the tension between the two of you grew. His eyes, full of affection and pride, would hold you in place, as if to remind you that he was the one who knew best. He wanted to protect you, but in his mind, protecting you meant controlling your life, even if you didnā€™t see it at first.
The more he infantilized you, the more he believed he was doing what was best. After all, he was the one who had been through it all, the one who understood the world better than you ever could. And you, in turn, began to wonder if he might be right, and you started to lose sight of who you were before he came into your life.
Vander had built a world around youā€”one where you needed him, one where you couldnā€™t escape. And you began to wonder: had you been protectedā€¦ or trapped?
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ccsainzleclerc5516 Ā· 10 months ago
Text
His Biggest Prize
Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x reader
Warnings: smut!
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After Australian GP, Lewis was counting down the seconds until he got home to you and the kids. It was not a good weekend for him. Not at all and now all he wanted, all he desperately needed was to find comfort in your arms.
It was late at night, close to midnight, when you heard the door of your shared home open. You and Roscoe were lying on the sofa in the living room under a blanket waiting for Lewis. Your two children, Harper and Miles, have been sleeping cause it was long past their bedtime, and your eyes were slowly closing too, but you knew that Lewis needed you and you wanted to be there for him, awake.
You quickly crawled out from under the blanket, waking a snoring Roscoe in the process, and hurried to the door.
"Baby" You welcome him in with a tight hug leaning your head on his shoulder and leaving a lot of soft kisses on his neck.
"Hey, love" He pulls you tighter to him breathing in your scent that calms him right away.
"How are you?" You ask, but he doesn't say anything. He gives you a smile, but his eyes look terribly sad. "I'm so sorry I couldn't be there with you. Do you want to talk about it?"
"Don't worry, baby, I'm okay now. I don't wanna talk about it, I just want to go to bed with you." He says taking your hands in his and softly kissing your knuckles. "Are the kids asleep?"
"Yeah, they wanted to wait for you, but I told them you'll be home late so they'll see you in the morning."
"Good, good."
"Let's go to bed, yeah?"
As soon as you got into bed Lewis pulled you all the way to him holding you tightly as if you were gonna slip out of his arms every second. He was so exhausted that it took him only minutes to drift of to sleep with his head resting on yours.
The next morning you were the first one to wake up, a bit earlier than usual. Your body was still pressed against Lewis' feeling his hot breath against the back of your neck and his morning erection unconsciously poking at your lower back.
One of Lewis' oversized t-shirts served as your nightgown every night under which you were wearing only panties so you pulled it up revealing your butt and rubbing it over the bulge in his boxers making him moan in his sleep.
Normally the kids wake you up every day, but since you got ahead of them this morning, you decided to use that time to show your man how much you missed him, how much he is loved, to show him that he is forever the champion in your eyes.
First you turned and placed a few short gentle kisses on his lips before straddling him, slowly grinding your hips against his crotch and running your hands over his firm tattooed chest.
A smile spread across his face when you leaned down and kissed him below his ear whispering "Good morning handsome" It took him a few seconds to open his eyes and realize your position.
"What a sight to wake up to..You on top of me," His hands find your waist pulling you closer into him. "If I'm not the luckiest man in the world, then I don't know who is. Good morning baby"
"Did you sleep well?" You ask still slowly grinding against him. Your panties were staring to soak with your wetness as you feel his rock hard cock through the thin material pressed against your folds.
"I sleep best next to you" He moans at the friction that you're creating between you two. His hand reaches for your, his, t-shirt pulling it up a little so he can have a better view to the junction of your body.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And what have I done to deserve such a special morning treatment?" He asks admiring you, his fingers pulling the strings of your panties up making your lips part and groan.
"Just wanted to remind you how much I love you before the kids wake up" You tug at the waistband of his boxers pulling them down his thighs and taking his thick cock into your hands stroking him up and down at, for him, excruciatingly slow pace.
"Fuckk, baby" He sighs running his hands over his face and through his hair. His hips raising up begging you to take him.
"Baby, don't tease" He pleads, but you can't help it. You bring your face dangerously close to his shaft swirling your tongue over his tip. He hisses squeezing his eyes shut as you start kissing it, sucking on it and collecting the pre-cum that started dripping out. "I swear I'm gonna cum in your mouth if you don't stop"
As soon as you move and straddle him again, he takes his cock in his hand giving it a few strokes and with the other he moves your panties aside. His fingers quickly glide over your wet slits stopping at your aching clit tapping it and rubbing small circles on it.
"You gonna ride me?" He asks and you nod impatiently. "C'mon baby, sit on my cock, show me how you do it" Before you slid yourself down on his length, he sat up and leaned his back against the headboard because this way it was much more intimate, he wanted to have you as close to him as possible while watching you ride him.
Lewis wasn't a loud guy, but he loved that you were. It drove him crazy listening to you whimper, moan, scream out his name in bed. But this time he had to make sure you were as quiet as you could be because you didn't want to wake up the kids. So when you sunk down on him, Lewis quickly covered your mouth with his hand shushing your whimpers.
"Shh, baby, you gotta be quiet okay? Can you do that for me?" He asked and you nodded. His thumb slips inside your mouth and you quickly get to work sucking in your cheeks his eyes never leaving yours. "Such a good girl. You're so hot, fuck"
His lips attack yours aggressively pushing his tongue inside while his hands grasp your butt guiding it up and down on his cock, setting the pace he wanted.
"You like that, baby? You like how I'm taking you?" You murmur against his lips. "So big Lew-uh"
"Yes, my girl riding me so good. Your pussy feels so good, so perfect for me." His teeth bite your nipple through your t-shirt making you wince as the pain and pleasure mingle.
You know that time is running fast and that the kids could wake up at any moment so the rhythm of your hips quickens and you start riding him faster and harder wrapping your arms around his neck.
"You gonna cum around me?" He grunts as he feels your walms clench around him. Before you can even confirm, your body trembles and your head falls into the crook of his neck biting your lip to stop yourself from screaming as you come undone around him.
"That's it, yes, yes, ahh. So pretty when you cum" He leans backwards so that he can lift you up and start thrusting himself hard inside you. The sight of you already worn out from his cock makes him twitch pushing him to the edge. "Shit, I'm gonna fill you up, shiiit baby"
As he finishes he doesn't pull out but stays buried deep inside you. You fall on his chest, both of you gasping for air he cooes you telling you how good his pretty girl did as his hands start rubbing your back.
"To be yours, that's the biggest prize" He says lifting up your chin to look you in the eyes and you smile shyly as your heart flutters at his comment.
"You're forever my champ Lew"
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baldval Ā· 10 months ago
Text
VALENTINE'S DAY W HAZBIN!ā‚ŠĖšāŠ¹ā™”
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characters: vox, charlie, valentino, lucifer, adam, lute, alastor
warnings: tooth rotting fluff, slightly suggestive content if you're reading adam.
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VOX:
š–¹­ the place is absolutely decorated when you get up in the morning.
š–¹­ i'm talking heart balloons, flowers, and rose petals all across the floor.
š–¹­ when you come into the living room, he's still in his jammies and sitting on the couch.
š–¹­ you loved when he looked like that, so carefree, a contrast from his usual self.
š–¹­ "Vox, what's all this?" you ask smiling
š–¹­ "it's all for you, obviously."
š–¹­ he stands up and walks towards you, he lifts you up and spins you around.
š–¹­ you place your hands on his chest as he gently lowers you back to the floor.
š–¹­ "you deserve the entire world," he whispers.
š–¹­ he plants a kiss on your lips and you instantly blush.
š–¹­ with a foolish smile, he wishes you a happy Valentine's Day.
š–¹­ you give him lots of kisses, leaving marks all across the screen.
š–¹­ you say, "I have something for you."
š–¹­ "you do?"
š–¹­ "duh" you chuckle
š–¹­ you were aware that Vox had his eye on this watch.
š–¹­ it had this gorgeous crimsom strap that matched his tie. š–¹­ when he notices it, all he does is look at you. š–¹­ love obscuring his vision š–¹­ he's amazed that you're his. š–¹­ and he feels quite fortunate. š–¹­ he carefully places the watch on the counter. š–¹­ then gives you a kiss so intense you almost feel like you're actually in heaven.
CHARLIE:
š–¹­ when you walk in to your room, there are roses on your desk.
š–¹­ with an enormous chocolate box of course
š–¹­ and a, quite long, love letter
š–¹­ the fact that she can't wait to just see you and be able to actually hold you
š–¹­ you're grinning broadly to yourself.
š–¹­ and you joyfully shove chocolate after chocolate into your lips.
š–¹­ she doesn't meet you in the lobby, like you thought she would.
š–¹­ she appears at your room.
š–¹­ "hi, babe," she exclaims, excited.
š–¹­ she approaches and greets you with a kiss.
š–¹­ "thank you so much for everything. you say to her, "I have something for you too, you know."
š–¹­ she is unable to remove her lips from yours.
š–¹­ you take something out of a desk drawer as you pull her into your lap. š–¹­ you pry it open, and she lets out a half-gasp.
š–¹­ you were able to get her a unique, gorgeous necklace. š–¹­ at the center is a quite shiny heart. š–¹­ you help her put it on, and the chain fits neatly around her clavicle. š–¹­ she has what is probably the biggest smile you've ever seen. š–¹­ from now on you notice, she never, ever removes the necklace.
VALENTINO:
š–¹­ extravagant king.
š–¹­ his name is literally Valentine so of course he'll take the day off for you.
š–¹­ you and him are hand in hand on a pier.
š–¹­ he's obviously wearing his best clothes, and of course you are too.
š–¹­ before you know it, it's just the two of you on a small yacht.
š–¹­ and the necessary employees, but they're not the main focus.
š–¹­ he lavishes you with presents
š–¹­ chocolate, that perfect piece of jewelry, and a tiny plush animal that he says reminded you of him
š–¹­ you share a meal on the balcony while chatting and having fun.
š–¹­ all while playing footsie beneath the table.
š–¹­ he seems to be focusing solely on you when you talk to him.
š–¹­ because he really is, staring at you with adoration.
š–¹­ with your backs against each other, you sit in the living room.
š–¹­ your head resting on his shoulder while his fingers comb through your hair
š–¹­ he breathes steadily and deeply.
š–¹­ "i wouldn't really mind if this was all we did for the rest of our lives," he says
š–¹­ you plant a kiss on his shoulder while gazing out to sea.
š–¹­ "that wouldn't bother me either,"
š–¹­ in some way, he draws you even nearer to him.
š–¹­ he kisses your face all over
š–¹­ "well that's great. since you're everything to me."
LUCIFER:
š–¹­ truly a hopeless romantic
š–¹­ his pissing in his underwear while waiting for you.
š–¹­ you open the door and say hello to him.
š–¹­ the ceiling and walls are illuminated by candlelight, creating a dim atmosphere.
š–¹­ there are rose petals all over the path that leads to the living room.
š–¹­ you walk slowly towards him.
š–¹­ he's kinda just standing there.
š–¹­ and it's pretty obvious he's nervous.
š–¹­ he grabs hold of your hands and draws you in.
š–¹­ "hey," he says, his voice cracking right away.
š–¹­ "i missed you," you say
š–¹­ he murmurs back, "yeah, I missed you too, so much."
š–¹­ for a small instant, he remains silent.
š–¹­ but he goes on after that.
"i love you so much, and i know we've talked about how we both want to get married. and, i'll be honest, i can't imagine my life without you, and i'm just so... so in love with you, and I'm sorry, I'm rambling, it's just-" he stops suddenly, taking a deep breath.
š–¹­ as he drops to one knee, his hands follow your hips and sides. š–¹­ he takes out a tiny velvet box from inside his coat. š–¹­ you have mentioned getting married before. š–¹­ and you are well aware that he is pretty much your soulmate. š–¹­ and it's Valentine's Day, so of course, he's popping the question. š–¹­ and you naturally answer: "yes". š–¹­ he stands up rapidly, your lips colliding with his. š–¹­ he tightens his grasp around the small of your back. š–¹­ he will always hold onto you.
ADAM:
š–¹­ the sun began to set on valentine's day.
š–¹­ adam, as charming as they come, is dressed to impress.
š–¹­ he strutted alongside you as you walked towards a bench.
š–¹­ the bench had this incredible view of the sea.
š–¹­ adam sat down right beside you, your thighs touching.
š–¹­ the times where adam was in silence were not many, yet always impactful.
š–¹­ you stared at the sun as he stared at you.
š–¹­ his eyes were fixated on your face, analysing your features.
š–¹­ "why are you looking at me like that?" you're blushing.
š–¹­ "i got something for you." he avoids your gaze now.
š–¹­ clearly, adam is not used to vulnerability.
š–¹­ and there was something about him being with you that just made him feel seen.
š–¹­ he takes out a small box.
š–¹­ "it's nothing really" he says as you open it.
š–¹­ inside there's a mixtape.
š–¹­ you read the names of the songs, not recognising any.
š–¹­ "are these yours?" he nods.
š–¹­ "the last one is named after you, actually"
š–¹­ you look at him, eyes wide open, surprised at his gesture.
š–¹­ with a sly smile and a playful roll of your eyes, you leaned in to steal a kiss, your heart fluttering with excitement.
š–¹­ "who knew the first guy to ever exist would be such a romantic?" you teased, unable to hide the fondness in your voice.
š–¹­ "you should play the mixtape as we fuc-"
š–¹­ "of course you had to ruin it" you chuckle as he smirks.
š–¹­ he wraps his arm around your shoulder and you lay your head on his chest.
LUTE:
š–¹­ she gives you several quick kisses to wake you up.
š–¹­ "hey, sleepyhead. i need you up.
š–¹­ you blink away the sleepiness, as she continues to plant lips on your cheeks and jaw.
š–¹­ "come on, babe, we have a reservation," she whines.
š–¹­ "a reservation, huh?"
š–¹­ "yes, please get up right now."
š–¹­ she puts on a sharp dress shirt and matching dress pants.
š–¹­ she gives you a bouquet of your favorite flower as you meet her at the door.
š–¹­ she takes one of the flowers, clips it, and tucks it behind your ear.
š–¹­ you then walk to a close cafe, arm in arm.
š–¹­ it isn't really that fancy but it is beautiful.
š–¹­ the place is filled with tulips and it smells like what you figured spring would smell like.
š–¹­ in a quiet space, a table is already prepared for the two of you.
š–¹­ you two laugh while eating breakfast.
š–¹­ you two could chat for hours on end and never get bored.
ALASTOR:
š–¹­ he's just getting started with all of this relationship stuff.
š–¹­ he had no one to share valentine's with before to this year.
š–¹­ thus, he is anxious and perplexed.
š–¹­ but of course he will do everything in his power to hide it, keeping his smile to appear calm.
š–¹­ after work, he brings a bouquet home with him.
š–¹­ they are your favourite colour and flower.
š–¹­ because of course he knows every single thing that you love.
š–¹­ and he brings cake instead of chocolate.
š–¹­ "aw, Alastor." you blush
š–¹­ "well, i didn't find any chocolate boxes shaped like hearts, but i did find a cake shaped like a heart."
š–¹­ you chuckle
š–¹­ but it doesn't truly bother you
š–¹­ quietly, he says, "i made sure to get your favorite flavor, and i swear there's no human parts in this"
š–¹­ "it may not be much, but it is what I could find,"
š–¹­ you interrupted him with a kiss.
š–¹­ "Alastor" you say his name and his eyes flutter.
š–¹­ "i don't think you could ever guess how happy you make me"
š–¹­ he feels like his heart is trying to burst out of his chest. š–¹­ he draws you into a close embrace. š–¹­ you spend the evening eating cake and snuggling on the couch.
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xyywrites Ā· 5 days ago
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Tips for writing flawed but lovable characters.
Flawed characters are the ones we root for, cry over, and remember long after the story ends. But creating a character whoā€™s both imperfect and likable can feel like a tightrope walk.Ā 
1. Flaws That Stem From Their Strengths
When a characterā€™s greatest strength is also their Achilles' heel, it creates depth.
Strength: Fiercely loyal.
Flaw: Blind to betrayal or willing to go to dangerous extremes for loved ones.
ā€œSheā€™d burn the whole world down to save her sisterā€”even if it killed her.ā€
2. Let Their Flaws Cause Problems
Flaws should have consequencesā€”messy, believable ones.
Flaw: Impatience.
Result: They rush into action, ruining carefully laid plans.
ā€œI thought I could handle it myself,ā€ he muttered, staring at the smoking wreckage. ā€œGuess not.ā€
3. Show Self-Awarenessā€”or Lack Thereof
Characters who know theyā€™re flawed (but struggle to change) are relatable. Characters who donā€™t realize their flaws can create dramatic tension.
A self-aware flaw: ā€œI know I talk too much. Itā€™s justā€¦ silence makes me feel like Iā€™m disappearing.ā€ A blind spot: ā€œWhat do you mean I always have to be right? Iā€™m just better at solving problems than most people!ā€
4. Give Them Redeeming Traits
A mix of good and bad keeps characters balanced.
Flaw: Theyā€™re manipulative.
Redeeming Trait: They use it to protect vulnerable people.
ā€œYes, I lied to get him to trust me. But he wouldā€™ve died otherwise.ā€
Readers are more forgiving of flaws when they see the bigger picture.
5. Let Them Growā€”But Slowly
Instant redemption feels cheap. Characters should stumble, fail, and backslide before they change.
Early in the story: ā€œI donā€™t need anyone. Iā€™ve got this.ā€
Midpoint: ā€œOkay, fine. Maybe I could use some help. But donā€™t get used to it.ā€
End: ā€œThank you. For everything.ā€
The gradual arc makes their growth feel earned.
6. Make Them Relatable, Not Perfect
Readers connect with characters who feel humanā€”messy emotions, bad decisions, and all.
A bad decision: Skipping their best friendā€™s wedding because theyā€™re jealous of their happiness.
A messy emotion: Feeling guilty afterward but doubling down to justify their actions.
A vulnerable moment: Finally apologizing, unsure if theyā€™ll be forgiven.
7. Use Humor as a Balancing Act
Humor softens even the most prickly characters.
Flaw: Cynicism.
Humorous side: Making snarky, self-deprecating remarks that reveal their softer side.
ā€œLove? No thanks. Iā€™m allergic to heartbreakā€”and flowers.ā€
8. Avoid Overdoing the Flaws
Too many flaws can make a character feel unlikable or overburdened.
Instead of: A character whoā€™s selfish, cruel, cowardly, and rude.
Try: A character whoā€™s selfish but occasionally shows surprising generosity.
ā€œDonā€™t tell anyone I helped you. I have a reputation to maintain.ā€
9. Let Them Be Vulnerable
Vulnerability adds layers and makes flaws understandable.
Flaw: Theyā€™re cold and distant.
Vulnerability: Theyā€™ve been hurt before and are terrified of getting close to anyone again.
ā€œItā€™s easier this way. If I donā€™t care about you, then you canā€™t leave me.ā€
10. Make Their Flaws Integral to the Plot
When flaws directly impact the story, they feel purposeful rather than tacked on.
Flaw: Their arrogance alienates the people they need.
Plot Impact: When their plan fails, theyā€™re left scrambling because no one will help them.
Flawed but lovable characters are the backbone of compelling stories. They remind us that imperfection is humanā€”and that growth is possible.
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