#i will continue my acts of tomfoolery

[crabfungi]

woke up to 100+ noifs good gods the jesters are plentiful

[theonottsbxtch]

THE OTHER GUY PT.4 | FC43

part one | part two | part three |

an: only a couple more to go out! lmk if there is anything in particular you'd like to see and if you'd like to be added to my tag list :)

ynpiastri

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, landonorris and 34,244 others

city boy summer, can't keep the hoes away

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logansargeant: you are not a city boy

ynpiastri: or am i?

oscarpiastri: i, for the record am happily taken and will not engage in this tomfoolery

ynpiastri: @/lilyznimer i will pay you double what he's paying you to date him if you break up with him

userone: girl we all know franco is there too.

When you’d woken up this morning, the last thing you’d expected was a pounding at your door. It couldn’t have been housekeeping because you had it scheduled for 3 p.m., and it couldn’t have been a crazy fan because you made sure never to post near your door, ever. So when you opened it and were attacked by a flurry of blonde hair, your heart dropped. As per usual, whenever you saw the blonde mess, you knew your sheepish brother wasn’t far behind.

It was a welcome surprise, though. While you were enjoying the peace of the resort, it had been a while since you’d seen Logan or Oscar.

After catching up over breakfast and hearing their latest stories from home, you all had agreed to spend the day at the beach. The morning had been light and easy, filled with laughter and jokes, mocking how Oscar couldn’t tan and how Logan always managed to find an American flag, no matter what country he was in.

“You’ve been quieter than usual,” Logan said, nudging you with his elbow. He grinned, a knowing look in his eyes as he adjusted his sunglasses. “What’s on your mind?”

You shake your head, trying to brush it off. “Nothing, just thinking.”

Oscar, who was stretched out beside you with his arms behind his head, let out a chuckle. “Thinking about what?” Tilting his head to the side, he gave you a teasing glance. “You’ve been acting weird since you got here last week.”

There was no escaping it now. Of course it was going to be noticeable that you’d been quieter, but that was because the thoughts swirling around in your head weren't exactly ones you were ready to share. Still, you couldn’t ignore the topic forever.

“I don’t know,” you started, the words slow and careful. “I guess… I’ve stopped looking at him with so much hatred.” The words were out before you could even clarify who he was.

It felt strange admitting it out loud. You’d spent so long disliking him—publicly, even. But now? After spending more time here, after getting to know him in ways you hadn’t expected… things had changed.

Oscar raised an eyebrow. “Wait. Are we talking about who I think we’re talking about?” He leaned in, clearly intrigued.

Glancing out at the ocean, you avoided eye contact with either man. “Yeah.”

Logan stayed quiet for a moment, and you almost regretted your words. Staying quiet for a beat longer, he sighed. “You know, he never did anything wrong.”

Turning around to face him, surprised, you lifted your sunglasses to look at him properly.

“He fought his way into the sport the same way I did,” Logan continued, his tone firm but not harsh. “You can’t hate him for something he can’t control.”

You felt your chest tighten. He was right. Deep down, you’d always known that. Franco didn’t choose to replace Logan—it wasn’t personal. He was just doing what any of them would do. Fighting for a place in a sport where nothing is guaranteed.

“I know,” you admitted softly. “It’s just… hard. I wanted to blame someone.”

Oscar sighed, giving you a sympathetic look. “We get it. But honestly, you’ve got to let it go. Holding on to that anger—it’s not going to do you any good.”

For a second, you wanted to laugh because you couldn’t recall the last time in your life Oscar and Logan had agreed on something.

Just as you were about to say something else, you noticed movement in the distance. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him— Franco —walking along the shore. His head turned in your direction, and when his eyes met yours, he lifted his hand in a casual wave.

At first you thought he may be waving to Oscar, but when a shy smile graced his lips your heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t not doing it for show, not trying to get under your skin. It was just a wave. Simple, friendly.

Before you could think too much about it, you waved back. And then, almost without realising it, a small smile tugs at your lips.

Both Oscar and Logan caught the interaction and raised an eyebrow, though Oscar didn’t say a word. Logan nudged you again, his voice teasing. “Well, look at that.”

You rolled your eyes at him but can’t help feeling a little lighter. Maybe you really were wrong about him. Maybe there’s more to him than the guy who replaced Logan.

You were still thinking about that smile when Logan gave you a sly nudge. “So… are you going to talk to him?”

Your head whipped around to his eyes wide. “What? No! Absolutely not.”

Oscar laughed, clearly enjoying your sudden panic. “Why not? You’ve already smiled at him, waved and everything. Just go over there and talk to the guy. It’s not like he’s some stranger.”

You shook your head, feeling your face heat up. “It’s not that easy! I can’t just walk up to him like it’s nothing.”

“Oh, come on,” Logan said,  rolling his eyes playfully. “You’ve been trash-talking him for months, and now you’re scared to ask him out for a drink? Seriously?”

Opening your mouth to protest, your face flushed as no words came out. You were flustered, and they both knew it.

Oscar sat up, shrugging nonchalantly. “What’s the worst that could happen? He says no? So what. But I don’t think he will.”

You glanced back towards where Franco was standing, now leaning against the railing, gazing out at the ocean. He looked relaxed, completely unaware of the internal chaos you were going through just a few feet away.

Your heart was pounding, and you felt a nervous knot in your stomach. “I can’t just… I mean, what would I even say?”

Logan gave you an encouraging smile. “Just be yourself. Ask him if he wants to grab a drink tonight. You’ve already softened up to him, right? This is your chance.”

You hesitated, glancing between Oscar and Logan, who both gave you looks that said go on, you’ve got this.

Finally, you exhale, standing up and wiping the sand off your legs. “Fine. I’ll do it. But if this goes horribly wrong, it’s your fault.”

Oscar grinned at you. “We’ll take full responsibility. Now go.”

With your heart still racing, you took a deep breath and started walking across the sand toward him. Each step feeling heavier than the last, your mind racing with all the things you could say—or worse, all the ways this could go wrong. But you were already halfway there, and there was no turning back now.

When you were just a few feet away, he noticed you approaching and turned around, his expression shifting from casual surprise to something more… interested. You could see it in his eyes, the way they lit up as you stopped in front of him.

“Hey,” you managed to say, hoping you didn’t sound as nervous as you felt.

“Hola,” he replied, a slow smile spreading across his face. “I wasn’t expecting you to come over.”

You bit your lip, suddenly feeling shy. Why did this feel so much harder than anything else you’d ever done? “Yeah, well… Oscar and Logan kind of persuaded me. They said I should talk to you.”

He raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? What about?”

Your mind went blank for a second, “I was, uh… wondering if you’d want to grab a drink with me tonight.”

The words came out in a rush, and you immediately felt your cheeks flush, but you managed to hold his gaze. You couldn’t believe you just said that. Your heart was thumping so loudly you were sure he could hear it.

Franco didn’t answer right away, but the smile on his face grew wider. “You’re asking me out?”

You nodded, trying to keep your cool. “Yeah. If you’re free, I mean. It’s fine if you’re not, I understand.”

His eyes softened, and for a moment, the cocky driver you’d seen in interviews was gone. In its place was  just a guy—surprised, maybe even flattered.

“I’d love to,” he said, his voice steady. “How about I pick you up around 8?”

Blinking, you took a minute to comprehend what he’d just said, relief and excitement flooding you all at once. “Really? Yeah, that works.”

“Great.” His smile was warm, and suddenly, the tension you were feeling melted away. “I’ll see you tonight, then.”

You nodded, still trying to process that you’d actually gone through with it—and that he had said yes.

“See you tonight,” you echo, then turn to walk back to Oscar and Logan before remembering he didn’t have your room number. “Uh, room 438.”

Franco nodded in your direction, “Room 438.”

ynpiastri

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, francolapinto and 31,487 others

fit check, kind of nervous guys (📸 @logansargeant)

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userone: FRANCO IN THE LIKES 🤭

usertwo: oh my god i want her

oscarpiastri: scared for what? i thought you were city boy summering rn

ynpiastri: @/lilyznimer PLEASE BREAK UP WITH THIS NERD

userthree: just seen franco in the hall of the same resort, looks quite dapper if you ask me

logansargeant: this isn't very city boy summer of you

ynpiastri: eat dirt 😍����

userfour: franyn?

the end.

taglist: @iimplicitt @isaadore @iamred-iamyellow @justheretoreadthxxs @obxstiles @how-what-why-huh @raizelchrysanderoctavius @sainzzreputaticn @xxx-betty @dukeofjjune @dejavuontrack @littlegrapejuice @mxdi0

[redvexillum]

This request is special to me because my first NSFW Alastor x Reader story on my sideblog was also about Alastor getting head 🤣 (Tell Me I'm Punny) I thought it be fitting/funny if my very first request story for this new blog would also be about Alastor getting head, -sighs- the beauty of ✨️sentimentality✨️ By the way, I took your request quite literally, if ya know what I mean 😏 XOXO, RedVexi💋

SUMMARY: You simply wanted to wake him up...in more ways than one.

WARNING/TAGS: f!reader, oral s*x (m!receiving), handjob, reader is a brat, teasing, established relationship, edging, ruined org*sm, dom/sub undertone, Alastor is not pleased

Like a deer caught in the headlights, you stared at Alastor’s sleeping visage, mesmerized by the sight. It was silly, but you felt an urge to wave your hand before his closed eyes to ensure he was truly asleep.  

He lay on his back, lips stretched wide into a close-lipped smile, hands neatly folded one atop the other on his bare chest. His breath was soft and even, mirroring the tranquility of his expression.  

For as long as you’d known Alastor, you had never once caught him sleeping. You had long assumed he was an eternal insomniac, his soul never craving or requiring rest – a restless soul, so to speak.  

When you had asked him if he ever slept, he would only grin – his trademarked shit-eating grin – and he would pinch your cheeks while wiggling them before promptly changing the topic.  

It drove you mad, for you didn’t understand the purpose of his secrecy on this subject.  

You knew he was messing with you because he delighted in your curiosity, relishing the chase as you grew increasingly frustrated. Yet now, as your gaze rested on his sleeping figure, you had to suppress a laugh. Trust Alastor to fall deeply asleep only after an intense night of fucking you until you went delirious with pleasure.  

Slowly, you sat up and winced at the ache in your backside, a vivid reminder of how he had relentlessly stretched your ass with his shadowy tendril while rubbing your core until you were an absolute sobbing mess. The memory of his touch, the way he played your body like a well-used instrument, sent a shiver down your spine. He was the master at blending the symphony of pain and pleasure that always left you breathless.  

Pouting, you glared at Alastor as his body naturally sidled up closer to you, a comfortable sigh escaping his lips. He had promised that yesterday you could control the pace and make all the decisions from start to finish. But, of course, he couldn’t last five freaking minutes before he immediately started calling all the shots.  

Even though he gave you mind-blowing orgasm after orgasm, it was the principle of the matter for you. You loved following his instructions in the bedroom, but sometimes you wanted to switch things up a bit – go a little off-script.  

Nibbling on the inside of your cheek, a mischievous spirit took over your body, a small act of tomfoolery that you were sure Alastor would approve of if he wasn’t your unsuspecting victim.  

Pressing your hand lightly on top of his abdomen, you felt the warmth of his body seep into your palm. Immediately, his muscles tensed, but he remained perfectly still, refusing to open his eyes.  

Interesting.  

With a wicked grin, you smoothed the planes of his stomach, letting your fingers brush against the fine line of hair leading down to his hips. His breathing hitched ever so slightly, a telltale sign that he was not as asleep as he pretended to be. As your hand continued to move south, you were promptly stopped when the tip of Alastor’s hardened member greeted you. You giggle softly at the prominent bulge he now displayed beneath the sheets. 

Slipping the sheet off him, his cock twitched, anticipating your next move. As you positioned yourself between his legs, Alastor spread them, giving you full access to him however you wished to touch him.  

“Looks like only half of you is up right now, Al,” you whispered, and you knew he heard you because you could see the ends of his lips twitching upwards. Yet, Alastor, the most stubborn man you had ever met, remained unmoving.  

Well, that only worked in your favour considering what you had in store for him.  

Bowing your head toward Alastor’s cock, you pressed a gentle kiss on its head, earning a jolt from him. His cock beckoned to enter your mouth as it continuously throbbed against your lips. Humming softly, your tongue peeked out, licking a strip down the length of him. Down, down, down you went until you gave him an open-mouthed kiss on his balls.  

A small groan escaped above you, quiet, could almost be mistaken for a shuddering breath. Your hands stroke the sensitive skin of his inner thighs, earning a small jerk of his hip upwards as his cock twitched, wanting to be sheathed into a wet, warm space.  

Instead of listening to his demands, you carefully suckled on his left ball, swirling it in your mouth before moving to the other. You took your time, slowly and agonizingly lapping him up, moaning as if you were singing a song of praise from the taste of him.  

The points of Alastor’s claw grazed your scalp, earning him another wanton sound from you. As you slowly parted from him, his hands flexed, grabbing a fistful of your hair and dragging your head back to the tip of his cock.  

You rolled your eyes at Alastor as you let him grind his hips against your mouth, feeling every ridge and the pull of his foreskin as he rubbed the sensitive tip against your moistened lips. His breath quickened, trying to stifle another quiet moan.  

What an impatient man, you thought, deciding that now was the time to exact a small, harmless, vengeance for last night.  

Your lips parted, ready to take him in, feeling the heat and firmness of his desire against your tongue. The taste of him, musky and addicting, filled your senses as you enveloped him. Your mouth slid down his length while your fingers wrapped around his base. Your tongue flattened as you felt the force from Alastor’s hand pushing your head down, urging you to take him deeper and deeper.  

Moving your hands, you flattened them around the front of his hips, your fingers acting as a frame around his cock. Lower and lower you went, until the tip bumped against the back of your throat.  

A louder, deeper, and almost feral growl resounded from above, and Alastor pulled on your hair to get back up until you were at the tip once more. Then, he surged his hips forward, slowly fucking your mouth as you hollowed your cheeks and sucked harder. You felt his thighs tense, his control slipping as he surrendered to the pleasure you were giving him.  

The sound of wet slurps and the symphony of your moans and his groans filled the air. Faster and faster, he thrust, the thick, heady taste of his pre-cum slid down your throat. Your fingers drifted down to the taut skin of his balls, feeling them tighten.  

You knew he was close.  

He was so, very, close.  

“Ah, darling –” The moment he called out to you, you immediately pulled your head away from his grasp – away from his weeping, throbbing cock.  

Straightening your back, your hair an absolute mess, you stared at Alastor with bemusement dancing along your wet lips. His eyes were blown wide open, and it was almost comical how he looked before you. He was panting, his hands frozen midair where he had last grabbed your hair, and you could tell he was trying to process why you had stopped him from finishing.  

His black, slit-like pupils slowly drifted down from the ceiling and landed on your eyes. “Darling,” he purred, his gaze lowering to his wanting, desperate cock before meeting your eyes once more. He gave you a grin, a silent dark warning that if you didn’t finish what you had started, he would make sure that you would do well to remember that from now on tonight.  

Undeterred, you wiped away the saliva with the back of your hand before giving him a cheeky grin. “Good morning, Al!” You said in an overly saccharine and exaggerated cheerful tone. His eyes looked less than impressed. Slowly, you prowled up his body, ensuring that your bare, wet, sodden centre smeared against his cock, causing him to shudder. He gripped your hips, forcing you to stay there, to sit right on his cock.  

His hardness pressed insistently against your entrance, and the heat between your legs was almost unbearable.  You fought the urge to rock your hips, to rub your slick folds against his shaft because you knew that you were just a breath away from losing control and letting Alastor take his fill of you.  

Alastor’s eyes darkened with lust and frustration. “You’re playing a dangerous game, darling,” he chuckled tonelessly, “a game you will lose.” He bared his sharp teeth as his claws dug into your hips.  

“Something the matter?” you asked, tilting your head with an innocent tone, hardly trying to feign a believable act of ignorance. “Is there something you would like, Al?” Your tone shifted lower, and his eyes flashed with equal parts amusement and irritation.  

“I would presume it would be quite obvious what I would want, darling,” his voice strained, yet he tried to keep an upbeat melody in his tone.  

Tamping down your laughter, you tapped your lips, mocking the pose of someone deep in thought, before snapping your fingers. Leaning forward, you gave him a chaste kiss on his left cheek. “Did you have a good sleep?” You cooed as you let out a small giggle.

“I guess you do sleep after all!” You said before fully dissolving into bright laughter. You refused to move your body; you refused to rub yourself against him like an animal in heat, no matter how much your body unconsciously squirmed in his grasp.  

Alastor’s grip on your hips tightened, his patience wearing thin. “You’re a cheeky little minx, aren’t you?” he growled, eyes darkening with desire.  

With a mischievous grin, you leaned closer, your breath hot against his ear. “Maybe I am,” you whispered. “But you had your way last night, so today is my turn.” 

Alastor’s lips brushed against your ear as he leaned closer to you, “And pray tell, darling, what is your way?” The heat between you was electric, and you could feel him straining, desperate for friction. “Come now, darling,” he murmured, his voice drenched with need. “Don’t tease me like this.” 

“Hmm, maybe,” you paused, and the points of his claws dug in deeper, telling you to get on with it, “if you asked nicely, I might consider it.” 

You felt his muscles stiffen before a low rumble resounded in his chest as he held back a dark chuckle. The bruising grip around your hips disappeared. With one hand resting on your back and the other caressing your face, he gave you a small, chaste kiss on your lips.  

“Good morning, darling,” his voice took on its characteristic jovial tone, as if he wasn’t hard and wanting, as if you hadn’t just denied him of his sweet release. “I did have a good sleep, thanks for asking!” He gave you another chaste kiss on your lips. “I’m ready to start our day!” He rubbed the tip of his nose against yours, his eyes squinting to make way for his wide grin. “We best get a move on, for I have quite a full day planned for you.” 

Suddenly, his eyes glowed a deep crimson red as he jutted his hips upward, letting you feel the heat and the hardened, silken skin of his cock. “Quite a full day, indeed,” his voice deepened, the radio filter crackling and popping in his tone.  

You bit down on your lower lip, feeling the phantom pain across your ass cheeks and the coil of heat burning hotter in your core. You had a feeling that tonight, he was going to remind you exactly who was in charge.  

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[littlexdeaths]

a continuation of some thoughts from this post… alluding to some spicy tomfoolery so 18+ only!

“Hey… uh,” Robin whispers, nudging your side. “I think you’re being summoned?”

Before you even glance up, you already have an inclination of what you’re about to see.

Your boyfriend.

He’s standing across the room, engaging in a conversation with Steve. While he’s not looking at you, he doesn’t have to be to get his message across.

His hands are tucked behind his back, out of the view of his conversation partner. But it’s what his hands are doing that has tipped not only Robin off, but whoever else was paying attention to him.

He’s practically fingering his own fist, the action becoming more frantic now that he knows you’re looking. You can’t help but roll your eyes in response to his antics, your lips curling up into a small smile.

It’s time to go apparently…

“Well, that’s my cue… I’ll see you later, Robs.”

You give her a sideways hug, missing the way she shakes her head in slight disapproval when you make your way over to the pair.

“Hey, Eds?” you ask gently, resting your hand on his shoulder. “I think I’m ready to go home.”

You put on your best act, as not to offend poor Steve— who has no idea what has just transpired. You say your quick goodbyes before Eddie takes your hand, curling his arm around your waist to start leading you towards the door.

“Thank god, I thought we’d never leave,” he whispers in your ear once you cross the threshold.

You stop him then, turning to glance up at him with a shit eating grin.

“Well… when Gondor calls for aid, Rohan must answer.”

“Oh, fuck…” Eddie groans, his eyes nearly rolling back from your words. “I love when you talk nerdy to me, baby.”

He swallows your giggles in a sloppy kiss before he picks you up, practically tossing you over his shoulder in an overly dramatic, boyish manner.

Let’s just say you barely make it to the van that night…

[salaimoi]

will you hold my purse?

how the jjk men would react when you ask them to hold your purse. ib this tt starring: gojo satoru, toji fushiguro, & ryomen sukuna guest appearance from choso kamo

Gojo Satoru

This diva would hold it as if it were his purse to begin with – no shame whatsoever, utterly unbothered by anyone else’s fragile masculinity. He would proudly wear it under his arm – to the point that your purse gets confused as to who its original owner is. He’ll get sooo into character that if someone got too close for comfort to him while you’re gone, he’d shriek like a little girl and whack them over the head with said purse. Total princess behavior.

Even if the person was only passing by, he assumes the worst of them: they’re trying to steal your handbag. 

And to your shocking dismay, when you return from the restroom you’re met by an innocent man laid out on the floor – all while the culprit continues to slander him with false accusations. You had to drag him out by the ear so he’d put a stop to his tomfoolery, but even then he continued to act a fool.

Safe to say you got kicked out of the restaurant and you’re both no longer welcomed. Your purse still under his arm, he clutches it tightly and ‘humpfs’ – head held high and nose tilting towards the roof to put emphasis on his sassiness.

“Your breadsticks were stale anyway!” he yells out to the closed door behind the two of you as he tosses an imaginary strand of hair over his shoulder. The tiny bag had given him an infinite amount of cheekiness – as if he didn’t have enough of that already.

Too bad if you really liked that purse, because it didn’t belong to you anymore.

Toji Fushiguro

He’ll look at you weird, baffled as to why you trust him with your purse in the first place. How naive of you, really. The thought of rummaging through it and stealing your valuables goes through his mind, but decides against it – you were both equally broke anyways. He’s not afraid of your purse, but he won’t wear it on display – so he throws it over his shoulder nonchalantly, one hand on his hip as he whistles while he waits for you to be done with your business. 

Eventually the wait gets far too boring for his liking, so he begins to dig through your purse, not to take anything from you – even though he was tempted to do so – but to entertain himself. And just as he expected, he found so much useless crap. Gosh, you were such a disorganized person. Not to mention you had like a year's worth of tampons in your bag. what the hell woman? 

Taking advantage of the business opportunity, he stands outside the ladies bathroom and begins to “offer” tampons to the passing ladies. Not for free, of course; his benevolence came at a price: $5 a tampon. 

When you overhear women giggling and fawning over a handsome man being a “girl’s girl” outside, you immediately knew. You were inclined to smack him silly, but his logic behind the whole ordeal was so stupid that you were afraid he’d get dumber than he already is. 

“What the hell are you mad at? I just bought us lunch, woman.” 

“Yeah, with MY tampons. That’s literally blood money, you insolent shit.” you reprimand him, furiously snatching your purse back from him.

And you continued to scold him over some nice hotdogs. His treat, according to him. 

Ryomen Sukuna

“Hell no.” He doesn’t hesitate to turn down your absurd request, crossing his arms over his chest in refusal. The fact that you were incapable of multitasking baffled him, so much so that he began to deem you incompetent from that moment on. But you were literally pissing your pants so you just shove it against his chest and sprint to the nearest restroom. 

To no one’s surprise, he allows the purse to fall to the ground, completely unbothered by the thing. And yet, he would glance down at it to make sure it was still there while you were gone – but not daring to touch it.

Once you had returned, though, he began to kick the thing around so that you wouldn’t be able to pick it up. He barked in laughter every time you thought you would finally get it off the ground – only for him to kick it around some more.

“Serves you right for trying to boss me around,” he roars.

All you wanted was for him to hold it for a few minutes, and now he had you playing ball with your own purse. It was quite amusing to him regardless.

Choso Kamo

Being the teeth-rotting sweet man he is, he’ll nod an infinite number of times – his face lighting up that you actually entrusted him with such an important task. Eyes gleaming with nothing but excitement, he’ll relentlessly clutch it over his chest with both hands, looking from side to side every other second to make sure no one tries anything with your purse. To anyone passing by, he’d look like a sweet grandpa taking care of his beloved’s tote while she freshens up.

A group of girls happen to stumble upon the sight, taking notice of the man holding the bag as if his life depended on it. Because of how defenseless he seemed, they almost thought he was lost – so they approached him and asked him that.

“I’m holding my girlfriend’s purse while she runs to the restroom,” he replies shyly, completely unsure how to handle these types of situations – he’d never been left alone without you before.

The girls find his actions so adorable that they compliment you for having a boyfriend like him by your side. But that was before they had walked away and you had noticed Choso’s red-stained cheeks from how much they had been pinched prior to your arrival.

“Please don’t leave me alone ever again.” He pleads, not wanting to relive something like that during the spawn of his life. 

You’d be better off taking him into the restroom with you next time. 

[astrologanize]

august 2024 sun sign horoscope

aries sun: it's a good thing that you guys are usually able to find motivation for yourselves because this month you will have bouts of feeling down & out. within this year's lessons for you surrounding what is & is not worth the energy, subsequently there will be situations and opportunities that fall away from your path and leave you dazed. this month you're going to encounter a bypass/obstacles that make you feel hopeless, like you don't know what to do, and you may be tempted to become withdrawn. there may be something that falls apart or has already fallen apart and you need to try to put your very best foot forward regardless - time to get re-inspired! there may also be a situation that happens that is unfair or challenges you and it would be in your best interest to speak your mind. for the past few horoscopes your advice has been to not act, take a seat, but now it is time to stand up.

taurus sun: all year long there has been lessons for you in your one-on-one connections, the receptivity/give & take, conflict resolution, and hopefully you have been paying heed to such. this month has strong decisive energy coming through for you; your motivation may be increased to do something different with your life, to do away with certain things, you may have some chip on your shoulder that causes friction with others or you may just be involved in friction with others, you may be hasty or make hasty decisions, and its up to you to remember that you need to remain open (to the possibilities) instead of dying on hills. this is a great month for you to try new things, to plan new experiences, to consider alternatives, to listen to new perspectives, to have some spicy time & experiment in the bedroom, this is not a month to be persistent and/or endure.

gemini sun: lol transit mars in gemini wants cause some trouble for y'all i see. you geminis are gonna be feeling stuck like chuck this month, there is a situation or something going on for you in august that will make you have to put aside your feelings/wants and persist because there's not too much you can do about it - at least not at this time. but! you must try to keep up your productivity levels and do what you can with the hand you've been dealt, try not to shrug it off and be 'whatever' about it, get those gears in your head turning for good.

cancer sun: eh, i'm seeing potential carelessness for y'all this month because there are certain things that are being left in the air, there is a focus on options, and it's really on you to decide whether or not you're going to (continue to) struggle in vain or make the choice that is right/best for you - which of course will involve some difficulty for you in some way. it's time to straighten that backbone up, try to be proactive, try to have a good/healthy structure for yourself, and avoid letting things happen/come & go all willy nilly. rise above tomfoolery! very specific situation in my head but say you have a coworker that is shitty and this month something happens with them that puts you out and you have to take the high road. you've never gone to a supervisor about this shitty coworker but this time you need to say enough is enough and stand on business.

leo sun: for whatever reason i had a heavy feeling come through when i was reading for yalls month and i think its because this month the accumulation of everything that has come to pass is going to be nipping at you. you're not going to be in your feels in some woe is me way though, there will be a strong self-focus, you will be action-oriented this month, and you are going to be working towards finding or facilitating resolve. this isn't a month where you need to prioritize progress, what you need to do is take a step back and put the effort into tying up those loose ends - prioritize resolution indeed! try to avoid any crass behavior, you may experience crass behavior from others, find proper resolve where you can, and try to think before you speak (lol pretty similar to the june horoscope of needing to watch your words).

virgo sun: saturn in pisces has really had y'all out here like "what in the world am i doing?", huh? well, there's been a lot of floating for you throughout this year and this month will not be much different in that respect but you will be trying out new flavors for yourself! your expectations will be lessened and re-explored in august so that you can experience a new kind of freedom for yourself. it's like being on vacation in a foreign place and getting to experience all types of new foods and activities and spaces. lessen your expectations but try to have a healthy & flexible routine in place for this month so that you have a bit of balance as you slowly but surely rediscover what resonates with you.

libra sun: ooou la la look at y'all having a productive august. i'm seeing any petty emotions you had or may have being discarded and you actually choosing the mature path as you put your priorities in perspective and recognize the efforts you need to put forth. you have things to work on and by the end of the month you will definitely be far closer to your goals. amongst the productivity is also good rapport with others ; you will be cooperating with others and vice versa, maybe you hear people out more this month, perhaps you get closer to someone in your life, and your one-on-one interactions will be positive for the most part. it's a good month so don't waste it! don't try to control situations, avoid drama, avoid paranoia, and ultimately be open (even vulnerable perhaps).

scorpio sun: now why am i seeing potential messiness and you being reactive, hm? let's try to avoid that if we can buuut regardless. whatever you may have mind for this month i am seeing follow through so if you have a commitment to something then i do see you being able to step up to the plate. surrounding your month is a lighthearted energy and you may be more sociable this month, any plans to meet up with people will happen, there may be some notable gossip about you or adjacent to you or it's just somehow relevant to you, and there is potential messiness...you might get in your feels and want to be petty, you may have certain situations or connections in your life where pettiness is the norm and i do think it will be the same ol' same ol' with those connections (eyeroll emoji lol). you still have situations or habits in your life that you're needing to put an end to or are in the process of doing so and it isn't going to happen overnight, you just have to persist with choosing what's best for you.

sagittarius sun: well the good news is that this will not be a month you need to endure per se but it still involves growing pains nonetheless. this month is about being attentive to your life and any woes that are residual and/or current for you and being honest with yourself about them - i am emphasizing 'with yourself' because it's coming through very strongly that you should not confide or try harder with some connection in your life. either you have a connection in your life that you are struggling to distance yourself from because you're so used to the person (so it's a matter of comfort & familiarity) or you have/will take something more personally than you should. this is a time for you to stop enduring, to quiet your mind, to listen more than you speak, to attend to what you need to for yourself, and recognize any lack within yourself and your life.

capricorn sun: back in june you had a lack of certainty in yourself and the decisions that you were making but by this month you will be feeling, or will begin to be feeling, far more assured in yourself and ready to take life on again. you will have bouts of getting in your feels, you may get impassioned at times this month, but for the most part you're still in a space of trying to remain objective. there is something(s) in your life that you're wanting to let go of or you are in the process of letting go of and you're going to be feeling ready to find a new chapter. buuut like back in april, you need to remember to pace yourself instead of jumping in full force. not the best example but say there was a cat stuck in a tree, instead of you thinking you're a superhero and risking your own well-being in an attempt to retrieve the cat, it would be in your best interest to call the fire department to handle it - there are situations this month where you may have the urge to extend yourself further but try to refrain from doing so, you may feel a lil helpless at times and that is perfectly okay because you may need help this month!

aquarius sun: there is definitely potential for this to be a prosperous month for you if you choose to get inspired because there will be a new path formed for you in doing so. throughout august you will be making decisions to do things and to put things in place but you will also be having to rely on others at times, and this may create difficulty for you. for some of you, you need to be careful of taking advantage and using others this month but there may be an opportunity that does involve you relying on a connection to someone - it's like if you need a supervisor to vouch for you to help get you a promotion. you will have times throughout the month where you gain experience and/or you will feel more experienced or 'above' another. try to seize new opportunities, sign up for a new hobby/allow your energy to be released somehow, welcome in good energy.

pisces sun: there is something you have in mind or will have in mind this month that is not going to happen or it won't happen the way you want it to. whatever it is, you're going to deal with it and throughout august you will be dealing/having to deal with situations that force you to put your feelings aside. even when you have moments where your feelings pour out, you will be quick to suck it up and recognize that you have priorities to attend to. some sort of regret may come up, maybe it's one from the past or a regret that develops this month and again, you're going to deal with it - and by the end of the month you will have a more detached attitude towards it like 'what's done is done, i'm going to focus on what i can do presently'. try not to get in your head this month because that's how you make mountains out of molehills, focus on the reality in front you, be realistic, and be action-oriented in a practical sense.

[blissfullyapillow]

Ever since the scene of Welt getting enthusiastic about playing hide and seek but then getting shut down because he's too old, I've been... daydreaming to say the least. Offering to play with him as his s/o, not judging him at all for his age, just wanting to see him have fun... Seeing a whole new mischievous side of Welt as he uses his abilities to give you a scare... Hearing his laughter... Maybe getting a bit spicy if you want to... Just anything with the hide and seek scenario just makes me so giggly!!!!! Love the silly old man <333

┃Hide and Seek with Welt Yang

₊˚⊹♡ wc: 1,222~

₊˚⊹♡ warnings: not proofread, fluff, suggestive ending, fun shenanigans with some of the astral express crew :D

₊˚⊹♡ Pillow Talks: I hope you like what I have for you anon! I did my best to honor your request to the best of my ability (╥ ω ╥)

₊˚⊹♡ Masterlist

You’ve never seen Welt act so.. giddy before

He can be difficult to read at the worst of times and a bit mischievous at the best, but a totally different side to Welt is presented before you as you hide your frame behind the large furniture in front of you.

Not the best hiding spot, but it’s in a place he’d least expect!

Or.. maybe not.

A low chuckle is the only warning you receive before a weightless feeling takes over your senses. You emit a noise of surprise as your body levitates off the ground.

Warm, inviting brown eyes light up with mirth as you struggle to maintain your balance.

“I won this round. You have two more chances.” You recall the deal you made with Welt. Whoever wins three rounds of hide and seek gets to ask the other to do one thing, whatever they want, and it can’t be refused. Of course there’s a time limit each round, and unfortunately he found you well before time ran out.

“You got lucky.” Your reluctance to admit defeat amuses Welt immensely. You are gently let down, and as soon as your feet are planted you get ready to hide again.

This time, you hide somewhere that hopefully won’t be so obvious.

In the archives.

Dan Heng was nonplussed that you wanted to use the archives as a means to win a game of hide and seek, but your pleading was enough to get him to relent.

“As long as you do not disturb me, I don’t mind.” His agreement came as a surprise, but who are you to complain?

So, you hang out with Dan Heng as the minutes tick by.

You snicker as you check your phone, and two minutes remain.

Again, not the best hiding spot but everyone on the astral express knows Dan Heng isn’t one to let tomfoolery occur in the archives. Which makes it a  good hiding spot should he consent.

Which is why you emit a groan when a knock is heard at the locked door.

Dan Heng turns to eye you, raising an eyebrow. You shake your head frantically, clasping your hands together in a silent prayer for him to keep the door locked.

He releases a deep sigh as he turns back to the data bank, only for the knocking to continue, louder in volume. Dan Heng pinches the bridge of his nose.

You glance at the timer on your phone.

Thirty seconds left.

“Just a few more seconds!” You whisper-yell the words to Dan Heng. He looks at the door and back at you, a frown on his face.

“Name, are you—“ somehow, the door unlocks and swings open. Welt stands triumphant on the other side, and you glance at your phone.

There was only 10 seconds left!

You stifle a groan as Welt walks inside, picking you up effortlessly as he bids Dan Heng farwell. You swear you catch Dan Heng’s smirk as he waves to the both of you.

As soon as Welt exits the archives the door slams shut behind the both of you.

“Did you think I didn’t know where you were hiding?” Welt teases you. “Maybe…” You're pouting, but you don’t care.

Welt ruffles your hair, a vibrant air of life about him. “This’ll be the last round if I win, Name. Are you sure you don’t want to be the seeker?” You adamantly shake your head in refusal.

“No way! It’d be too easy for you to manipulate the doors. I still can’t sneak into your room, you always have to let me in.” You huff, crossing your arms in faux annoyance. Welt side eyes you before he finally sets you down on your feet.

“You’ve tried sneaking into my room?” He sounds surprised, but there’s a knowing glint in his warm gaze. “Oh, be quiet. We both know that you’re more than aware that I have.” He shrugs, feigning innocence before he turns around. “I’ll give you extra time to hide this time. I think I’ve decided what I’ll ask of you…” He muses.

You roll your eyes but an uncontrollable smile lifts your lips. You press a chaste kiss to Welt’s lips before you run off to find your next hiding spot.

This time, you hide in plain sight, moving after Welt leaves the area. You make your way to March’s room. She lets you in, and after some begging she allows you to hide behind her plushies once you agree to let her take a picture the moment you’re found. You didn’t like the fact that she knew believed you would lose, but you needed a new place to hide.

Time ticks by all too slowly for your liking. March continues on with what she was doing previously before you interrupted her. She checks the time for you, sending a thumbs up your way to indicate time is almost up. You hold your breath as you will the time to pass faster.

You make sure to bury yourself beneath her plushies when Welt inevitably visits her room, and she cheekily lets him in (despite your previous agreement but you choose not to gripe).

Welt takes one look at the pile of plushies you’re hiding beneath before you’re suddenly floating upside down midair. March cheers loudly as she snaps a candid photo of you.

Welt leaves the room with you trailing behind him, still suspended in air with your arms crossed in dismay.

“Welllttt… this isn’t fair.” Your complaints fall on deaf ears as he brings you to his room, shutting the door behind him.

You hear Welt’s phone chime. He leisurely takes his phone out of his pocket to check the lit screen, grinning to himself at whatever is on the screen. “I told March to send me the photo she took of you.” He chuckles as he holds the phone up to you. You look absolutely ridiculous in the photo, hanging midair with pure shock written on your features.

You reach for his phone, only for him to pull it back.

“Ah ah, this photo is precious to me. It’s worthy of being my screensaver, don’t you agree?” Welt relishes in the look you give him, clearly disapproving of his choice of jokes. You do a flip at Welt’s command, and you yelp in surprise. He laughs, setting you down once more.

Except, you’re now caged between his arms with the wall behind you for support.

“My silly partner really thought they could win a game of hide and seek against me, hm?” Welt’s eyes darken, a dangerous glint to them as he holds your chin with his fingers.

You have no choice but to look him deep in his eyes, your own flustered gaze reflected within his iris’. 

“Ah.. well, it’s the effort that counts right?” You suggest, pressing your back against the wall. Welt smirks when you gasp; his knee parts your legs to tease between your thighs.

“I agree. In fact, I think your efforts should be rewarded.” His tone is suggestive, just as his actions ignite the familiar flame of your desire.

Your body relaxes when he leans in to slot his lips with yours, his knee providing pleasurable stimulation for you.

You are completely at his mercy, and you have no intention of hiding this time.

[candywife333]

Red Riding Hood

"Scary" wolf hybrid Namjoon x red riding hood chubby reader

Inspired by Cupcakke's new song "Little Red Riding Hood"

Triggers: cursing,, period sex mentions

Debating on a part 2

Blood hell! It was already 7:00 in the evening and it had gotten so dark out, I had hardly kept track. I was supposed to go to grandmother's house to deliver a batch of double chocolate chip cookies that I had just made.

Period cramps were the worst, and the only way I could fight them was by eating so many chocolatey foods that I felt like throwing up. I usually have horrible pain like someone stabbing me with a sword fifty times in my gut as I squeeze out blood clots the size of blueberries😣. I know, my life is an entire travesty.

It's as thought my body was punishing me for not being pregnant😭. Whatever I guess, such is life. I ceased my philosophizing and grabbed a raggedy red hoodie , holes and loose strings all over, that had seen better days honestly. The main reason I planned to wear it is so that, just in case I leak, it is long enough to cover my butt. Therefore, it would almost be as though..........I never leaked.

Grabbing the basket of delectable baked goods, I started walking onto the cobblestone path to grandma's house. I was second guessing my decision to go to her house because it had gotten way darker than I was expecting it to get. And, my period cramps had started up again, slicing me up internally like a guillotine.

As I cringed in pain and felt the cold sweat trail down my temples, I still persisted in walking at a faster pace so I could make it to her house in at least half an hour. The old biddie lived out there in the middle of nowhere ready to be stabbed by a bloody serial killer. It is as though she saw all the horror movies and still decided to have a death wish. Swear on my mother, I loved that old lady. But sometimes she just acted so senile you could question her sanity.

I mean what business did she have living out here in the middle of nowhere, being a living, walking health liability? As I continued musing, I failed to notice the shadow lurking behind me in the growing darkness of the night. I was startled , almost dropping my basket when I heard a deep, rather seductive voice rumble out, " What are you doing here in the dark, pretty girl? Are you lost in the woods"?

Now, correct me if I am wrong. I usually don't judge people. But did this dude have a health condition? Or was he big-foot? Because he was the hairiest human being I had ever seen in my short life---and mind you, I know its a little TMI, but I grow hair on my butt and one day, to my great consternation, I even found a hair on my bellybutton😱. Yeah, we can freak out about that at a different date. So you see, I know what hairy is. But this man doesn't look hairy, he looks almost as though he is covered in fur. A 6 foot dude covered in fur. Worthy of the Guiness book of world records if you ask me. And he stank like five hundred period pads on a vacation in the Bahamas.

Chiding myself for being such a judgmental b****, I said in a confused manner, " Do you need anything Sir? Because I have a place to be, and no, I am in fact not lost. But if you push me a little further , in the rather sensitive state I am in right now, you might........find lost yourself..........if you catch my drift". He gasped , looking rather shocked, "Little lady, are you implying that you will make me disappear---that you will kill me"?

I continued walked at a faster pace away from him as I spelled out in a curt tone, " I can neither confirm nor Deny Mister".

He was really testing my patience right now. I am leaking like the bloody niagara falls and he's trying to interrogate me. Like what the eff did he want from me right now? When I had places to be. Is this how men flirt? Because he was doing a horrendous job at it. He was messing with the wrong b** right now. I am not in the mood for this tomfoolery.

He trailed after me at an equally hurried pace, "Are you not scared of me? Worried that I will kidnap you"? I groaned as I kept walking, huffing out, "If you had that many guts you would've just done it by now dude. Why make threats when you can just do it? Actions speak louder than words. And right now, your actions are telling me that you are a wimp".

He seemed rather affronted, eyebrows wiggling together in a menacing frown as he bit out in a menacing tone, " Did you just call me a coward, young lady? Do you even know who you are dealing with"?

What an irritating numbskull?!!Couldn't he see that I had places to bloody be?😡🤬

I turned to him one last time, taking a cursory glance at his hairy ass and hairy legs. This man did not keep shaving as a priority. "Look bruv, you are doing the most right now. Now, I am not one to mince my words--so I will tell you in the politest way possible right now, since as you can see---I was brought up with etiquette and manners".

I took in a deep breathe to calm myself as much as I could, "Your ass stank like a hundred buckets of sardines left out to dry on a hot summer's day. You talk too much and I am hemorrhaging into my butt crack, which is right now defying all laws of physics. I feel nauseous looking at you, as I am bleeding to death. The least you could do is leave me alone, so I can deliver these gosh darn abominable cookies that I should've just eaten and period pooped it out myself". I started sobbing and crying, so saddened by how much this fool was holding me up ....on my period....in the forkin' darkness.

He looked utterly shook at my monologue. Frozen in place as I continued moving away, weeping into the night, bleeding torrentially as I ran away . Mother fu*** couldn't even give a girl a lift to the place she was going to go. He failed at even being a proper kidnapper. I mean what was he even good for if he couldn't even be a good criminal??

______________Finally at grandma's house🍪_________

I finally got to this old b****'s house. Almost bursting a blood vessel in my forehead. Why the f did she have to live so far away? This is odd, her door was already open. Strange. She never did that. Very uncharacteristic of her. She was all about safety and keeping windows, doors locked --- as though that was going to save her ass from dying in the middle of nowhere.

Pondering upon the morbid nature of my thoughts, I walked in absent-mindedly through her cottage till I got to her living room. There she was, wrapped in a blanket sitting on the rocking chair. She looked rather thick, if you get what I mean. I don't remember her packing on this much weight, or being this tall. She was known for being frail. Something was up.

Maybe she decided that thick thighs save lives or something and started fattening herself up. Who knew the body positivity movement affected grannies too? "Grandma, what are you doing on that chair? Did you have dinner yet? And why is your door open"?

As I got closer and closer to the chair, whoever it was sitting on there, looked less and and less like a grandma, and more like wolf. I froze, confused. What the hell was that on the chair?

The thing on the chair started cackling as the blanket fell to the floor. I yelled in indignation, my patience for life finally cooked to smithereens "WTF ARE YOU DOING IN MY GRANDMA'S COTTAGE YOU HAIRY CREEP? DID YOU EAT HER"? The hairy man I had seen in the woods was dressed in my grandma's nightie , looking at me hungrily -- as though he were a starving waif who saw tiramisu for the first time in his life.

He drawled out in rather disgruntled, irritated voice, "Your grandma is on vacation in Bora Bora little lady. She left me to watch her house. Did you not receive the text last week from her"? I huffed out, annoyed at the blase tone he was using with me, "you freaking liar" as I checked my phone. As he had said, the old biddie had texted me last week about her vacation, and it had gone into my spam.

I straightened up, feeling a little bad for yelling at him. "Then why are you dressed up in her nightie dude? Are you into cross dressing or something"? He looked even more irritated than he did before, eyes shining with frustration as I continued, gesturing with my hands ,"I won't judge you for it. We are totally pro LGBTQ in this household you know".

He suddenly got up from his chair and snatched me up by my waist. He smelled way better than he did before, faintly of lavender as he laid me up on her bed. Wait, her bed? Whoa, Whoa. What the hell. This becoming 365 days way too quickly.

I squeaked out in confusion, "What the hell you doing man? I am on my period. You can not squeeze and manhandle me like that. I WILL LITERALLY SQUIRT ON YOU LIKE A KETCHUP BOTTLE"!! He paused for a second, looking like he was going to die of laughter. As he collected himself slowly, he warbled out, " Look, I am not trying to manhandle you. It's just that I am a straight man who is just in his werewolf form. And you are judging me when I am on my rut".

I bent my head, questioning him, "AND what's that supposed to mean? You get hairy and horny"? He nodded, as though it was all self explanatory. I seethed , metaphorical steam coming out of my ears, "Look dude--I see that you are babysitting my grannie's cottage and you are on your rut, but what does that have to do with you following me, wearing a nightie , and acting like an overall creep"?

His eye twitched as he bit out in an exasperated tone, " I fell into a pile of rotting salmon at my friend's fish farm and came to your grandma's cottage , that I had to check on anyway for the night, saw you ambling down the path and wanted to make sure you were safe in the dark, and then washed off all of the scent ---realizing her nightie was the only clean thing I could wear. That is why you are seeing me here".

I sniffed, astounded at his rather logical explanation, "Fine, then elaborate to me, why you called me pretty lady"? He scoffed, guffawing ,"You mean to tell me, that you are offended that I called you pretty lady? How am I supposed to know that you are on your period and are having a horrible mood swing. I ain't telepathic".

I stared at him, ready to fight him. Yes, he was supposed to know that i WAS ON MY BLOODY PERIOD, BECAUSE HOW COULD HE CALL HIMSELF A WOLF OTHERWISE ? "hOW COULD YOU NOT SNIFF THE BLOOD SEEPING OUT OF MY VAGINA, YOU FOOL"?!!!

He yelled out in panic, " Of course I can SMELL IT WOMAN!!! IT'S DELECTABLE AND YUMMY! BUT I'M TRYING TO AVOID SNIFFING IT FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY , SO I DON'T RUT YOU AND MAKE YOU MY MATE!!! STUPID GIRL, CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M ALMOST GOING TO SNAP"?!!!

I settled down, exhausted and almost yawning from this tirade, "You could just ask if you want to eff me you know? I wouldn't mind".

He stared at me in confusion, "Woman, you are unhinged and if I wasn't so desperate, I would walk away. But since I have no choice", he threw me on his lap bringing his arms around my plush waist to make me sit upon his length "Let's get this over with".

[mystwrites]

Heya Myst! For the 200 followers event (CONGRATS BTW! YOU DESERVE IT!), can I please request 🫐🧺 with lee! Sigma and ler! Nikolai (BSD). Romantic or platonic, I don't have a preference! Have a lovely day!

My Event Closes on the 22nd

Sigma stared at the food in front of him. Never in his entire life had he seen so many different things and never has he ever left his casino for the land below for something as odd as a picnic. Nikolai was truly an artistic person, picking out one of the fanciest blankets to sit on and finding a nice, shady spot away from other people. Not to mention the very organized way he spread all the food out. Sigma was amazed not only by how well prepared Nikolai was, but the fact that Nikolai somehow knew all his favorite food aside from sugar cookies.

“Hey, you look a little serious there, pal.” Nikolai said, breaking Sigma from his train of thought.

“Sorry, just thinking about things.” Sigma replied, about to bite into a turkey sandwich with his favorite type of cheese, mozzarella.

“Yknow, I wanna play a little game with you.~” Nikolai snickered when Sigma glared at him.

“No. Let me enjoy my sandwich in peace.” Sigma took another bite, praying that Nikolai would spare him for once.

“Oh come on! It’s quiz time!~”

Sigma all but choked on his sandwich. “Not now! I thought we were gonna relax and have what you call a “chill” day?!?”

“Relax, my friend!” Nikolai chuckled and sat next to Sigma, the younger man suddenly becoming very nervous and suspicious. “This is a chill day!”

“Not with you being…so close and acting like you’re up to something!” Sigma shoved Nikolai back. “Go away! I wanna eat in peace!!”

“Sorry, but I’m not leaving you alone until you stop stressing! There’s nothing to stress about!” Nikolai poked Sigma’s sides, smirking as he heard a squeak. “Ohhh…what’s this?~”

“Aaahh!!” Sigma slapped Nikolai’s hand away. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m poking you.” Nikolai replied, smiling as innocently as he could. “Why?”

“I-it’s annoying!”

“Mm…so if I keep doing this, you’ll get irritated enough to indulge in my quiz, right?”

Sigma flinched as Nikolai continued to poke his sides. Upon fingers poking his ribs, he had enough for one day. Sigma giggled but slammed his sandwich back into the bag and threw it back into the cooler, glaring daggers at the literal clown sitting next to him.

“Stop! I swear to god if you don’t stop…” Sigma began.

“What? You’ll what?” Nikolai taunted, grinning from ear to ear. “You’ll giggle?~”

No wonder Fyodor decided to decline the picnic invitation. Nikolai was just as chaotic as he always was even though one of his promises was to behave. Good for Fyodor, he didn’t have to deal with this absolute tomfoolery but unfortunately for Sigma, he was gullible enough to join Nikolai after much convincing.

“No! I don’t giggle!” Sigma growled. “Don’t you dare touch me!” Sigma pointed to the opposite end of the blanket. “Go all the way over there and eat your cream cheese stuffed sandwich! Gross by the way. Go over there before I hit you with all of this!”

“Come on! I’m not touching you.~” Nikolai sang, clearly touching Sigma by poking his sides repetitively. “See? Ooh! I think I heard a giggle! Is Siggy kun ticklish?~”

Sigma wanted nothing more than to make Nikolai choke on the darn apple he was now holding in his left hand. He hated that he was the man’s poking subject and yelled, falling over when Nikolai gave his sides a squeeze.

“Don’t cahahall m-me tha-AAHA!!” Sigma cupped his mouth as he fell over, glaring at Nikolai before giggles spilled from his lips. “Stooohohop!! I’ll kick your shi-hahaha!!

“Yippee!!” Nikolai sang, wrestling Sigma down with ease. “C’mon, Sigma kun! Let’s hear those giggles!~”

As much as Sigma didn’t want to giggle, Nikolai managed to force them out. Sigma didn’t know what sort of witchcraft this man was using but it certainly worked its magic, the younger of the two giggling himself absolutely silly.

Nikolai found Sigma’s ribs and smiled as his laughter rose in pitch. Sigma was going to probably scream at him and whack him with his sandwich bag and maybe one of the charcuterie boards after he finished but it was worth it to hear Sigma’s laughter.

A/N: Thanks for the request! I made this drabble a little short for two reasons, one I had no time and wrote this all in 10 min and two, I didn’t know how I was going to write Nikolai😅Hope I did ok!

[adracat]

GWitch 23 thoughts

Sorry for the wait on this, I had to rewatch a few times to really drink in everything that was going on. I didn't have the best knee-jerk reaction initially ( I enjoyed it ofc but was a bit ambivalent about some things) and wanted to give it a fair shake.

First up, seeing Suletta zip around like the ace pilot she is was quite rewarding and fun! Now all those auto-pilot rumors can be laid to rest. However, the circumstances weren't the best and it broke my heart she was gasping for air the entire time. I had no doubt she'd live but it's still miserable to witness that

Ah Lauda. Your tomfoolery knows no bounds. We knew this was coming after the last ep, but it's still a bit frustrating. On a technical narrative level, it works since we're seeing two sets of siblings confront their simmering tension with one another. On a personal level, I wasn't very amused. I first saw this at 4 in the morning and had no patience for Lauda lmao. But rewatching it a few times gave me a deeper appreciation for what's going on. He's really intent on scapegoating Mio for everything wrong in his life. Fitting for her role as the Rose Bride and Lauda's demonized witch

This little aside from Chuchu is so suspicious tbh. Considering Mio's failure at piloting, this seems to imply either she does not have a permet implant of any sort or a flat intolerance. I have a sneaking suspicion it'll become a factor in the next episode.

Mio staring wistfully at Cool-san/etc memento of Suletta will always grab me by the throat. Girl wants to wife up Suletta so bad. And really, who could blame her?

Schwarzette is so pretty and cool. Unfairly so. Like, why did you make that thing so unique and cool? For dipstick Lauda?? Who is that pink permet for and why does it look like Utena??? ANSWER ME OKOUCHI

That's nice of Delling to rise from his sickbed to try and negotiate with the SAL. Unfortunately, this would be for naught because they're here to purge and replace. Not make nice. It was the thought that counts, I suppose.

Speaking of, the debut of a solar ray blindsided me. I mean, yeah it's Gundam, but I kinda thought we were skipping the big death ray lmao. After sitting on it, I think I know where it's headed. Totally on brand for SAL too in hindsight. They like to act removed, but they're just as entrenched as Benerit in the skeevy corpo politics. Allying with Ochs and now Peil cements it

Check the link above to see my Utena related thoughts on this moment btw. It might be the highlight of the episode beyond the Prospera confrontation. Stunned they finally stopped playing coy and seemingly confirm Notrette is indeed a GUND entity residing in pseudo hell, and likely a GWitch newtype like Eri

This was very sweet and I enjoy it more on a rewatch but I also understand why I and so many people had a gut-deep aversion to this subplot. The issue is entirely investment based imo, and tbh I just don't care that much about the Jeturk family dynamics. At best, I don't mind them. Guel is a bro but Lauda is SO exhausting on multiple levels. His misogyny and gross negligence of Petra in favor of revenge doesn't help.

If something came of this other than Lauda/Guel sibling closure, I'd consider it fulfilling. But if you lack investment in the conflict, it's going to feel limp or frustrating in comparison to the siblings you want to see. So while I appreciate the parallel with Suletta/Eri and the continuing subtext of witch coded Mio, that's it for me. But hey, it serves a purpose. A tragic cycle was broken after all, thanks to love and MVP Felsi!

The one big gripe I have after consideration is this man's continued existence. Kenanji doesn't deserve to play buddy buddy with the cast. He's a dirty space cop who bullies children and murdered Nadim, now he's joking with 5lan? The hell. I get the theme of the show is forgiveness and not perpetuating the cycle of revenge but... really? KENANJI gets to be happy but Norea/Sophie don't? Sigh

It was so dirty of Eri to use Suletta's love for Mio against her. She knows Suletta would panic over their mother possibly 'gaining two'. It's crafty and unrepentant, but Suletta holds fast. Her faith in Mio is greater than her idle fears

Mio scolding Prospera over her favoritism was great. We love a fiancé willing to take a stand against her shit in-laws. Speaking of, looks like Mio has fully embraced becoming a Mercury one day. 'All of us will be family' YEAH YOU WILL so suck it up Prospera. The holidays are gonna be so awkward

Btw love Mio was shouting at her while having an emotional breakthrough deciphering her mother's QZ riddle. This moment was excellent and easily superceded my minor gripes. UGH when will you reveal Notrette's whole deal GWitch? We're waiting

Such a bittersweet moment. We know from the Blessing and Cradle Planet that Eri loves her sister but it may not have been until this moment that Suletta understands her feelings. Now, I don't think she's 'dead' tbh. Or deader anyway. I suspect it's a false flag to hook you until the finale. It would be quite anti-climactic if she passed without a proper goodbye. I'm still holding out on a Tempest end where Prospera voluntarily sets her free.

The next Sunday will be our last. Hard to believe tbh. Feels like just yesterday we set out on this spectacular journey. Que sera sera! I'll see y'all in the finale~

[findafight]

Okay - not typically a fan of either ship, but the idea of Nancy being the gf that Steve and Robin share is hilarious to me for some reason? idk, I can just see Nancy tentatively agreeing to this and just being more and more baffled at the state of the relationship. Like, she’s not unhappy, but it’s just - she can’t really wrap her around it? It all seems so easy in a way that makes her wary and start second-guessing everything. Except therapy’s made her conscious of these kind of patterns and she’s trying to work out if this is what’s actually happening, or if she’s just getting in her head about it -

Meanwhile Steve and Robin are just vibing, debating over whether or not they should get matching tattoos (Robin wants them to get the same thing, like a little bird with a crown, or two halves of a matching set. Steve wants them to get something that alludes to an obscure inside reference, like each others’ middle names or something).

Whatever the state of affairs between the three of them, my headcanon is that Nancy is perpetually low-key baffled at Steve and Robin’s relationship. They do in fact have boundaries in their friendship, but they’re never where she expects them to be. Comments about Steve’s parents? Over the line. Robin following him into the bathroom and locking the door behind them so they can continue their argument? Apparently his only complaint is that they have to stop doing this at other people’s houses, Rob, people are gonna think we’re weird. They both react with over the top disgust at the idea of anyone suggesting that there’s anything romantic or sexual between them, but one time Robin was paranoid that she might have found a lump on her breast and called on *Steve* for a second opinion?

And like, with the best will in the world, she’s talked to Robin. Robin’s *very* intelligent. What do her and Steve have to talk about. To say nothing of all this stuff that Robin knows about Steve that Nancy had no clue about?

Omg. Yeah I could see this also being fueled by a desire to confuse the hell out of literally everyone (including herself) for Nancy. Like, she likes Steve and since they rekindled their relationship obviously Robin has been tagging along, and Nancy has realized that she isn't as annoying as she thought, especially when Steve's there to be a little comedy duo with her. And she's pretty so that's a bonus.

But Nancy's also bamboozled because sometimes Steve and Robin act more like an old married couple than her and Steve, who've actually been together for a while! Or her and Robin who do like to debate together! And I love her seeing herself start to maybe self sabotage and reigning that in, noticing that she's got a good thing here even if she herself doesn't understand that (and maybe stobin's general stobinness helps her realize that sometimes...things don't have to make sense to her) and working to make sure it stays good.

I think Robin and Steve's general tomfoolery dynamic would be a bit of a shock for Nancy, who Robin has pretty deep and mildly intellectual discussions with or Steve who talks about the future with such surety while staring up at the stars, and then they come together and immediately give each other raspberries on the cheek and giggle. The boundaries are incomprehensible to her. She knows they're there but she cannot figure out rhyme nor reason. Steve and Robin are pack bathroom trip people, but then Robin gets shy if Nancy wants to come along too. But they all make each other feel safe.

I suppose it could be really interesting and silly haha

[suffarustuffaru]

Reading your tags about how people miss the very obvious "there's some fucked up shit boiling underneath" regarding Otto, just gave me a sudden realization. Otto is the only character I know in fiction where they act all innocent and drive up the "clumsy", "just in the side-lines" and "straight-man (heh)" persona. When. Like no one's in the EMT camp is buying it. They know he's way more capable than he let's on. Meanwhile, the tomfoolery is completely brought on by the Western audience.

Like Otto is failing miserably to make other characters believe that he's not up to mischief, Roswaal even thinks it can bring his downfall. But the audience, who even sometimes *sees* his fucked up thought process, is buying it.

*head in hands*

no u bring up so many good points bc ive been really thinking about this for a while T^T its such an interesting phenomenon in the difference in perception otto has between the japanese speaking half of the fandom vs the english speaking half which can be explained by—yeah. media illiteracy mainly. im also putting my head in my hands anon T^T

because—okay sorry wkdndn im gonna get into meta again but hear me out bc this pattern of the fandom underestimating otto is interesting bc i kind of sort of i cracked the code maybe??? o.o i think the nature of otto is a character is that youre SUPPOSED to underestimate him at first, just like what happens sometimes in universe. i mean wayyy back then i definitely wasnt expecting him to get more depth added to him in arc 4–which was a pleasant surprise—which is also the reaction the vast majority of people have to reading/watching arc 4, along with the other vast majority reaction which is being a bit endeared to ottosubas friendship and respecting otto for being a good friend. and then its easy to underestimate otto bc of 1. all the chaos going on in rezero at any given moment and 2. hes almost always overshadowed by other characters doing worse shit or being more insane than he is and 3. otto of course damn well knows hes easy to underestimate and counts on that. thats what he did against roswaal in arc 4. plus—i mean even aesthetics-wise hes 100% DESIGNED to be easy to underestimate. his outfit and physical features make him look either friendly or frazzled or soft. so i think that the point is that we were supposed to be kind of fooled—at first.

because yeah, we’re endeared to otto. we respect him for helping subaru the way he did. we think that hes a nice person and we now support his actions especially after feeling sympathetic towards him after learning his backstory. (or at least the average audience member will think this wjdndn.) but like—you dont even NEED to look at any side content at all for it to dawn on you that theres something Wrong. with him. like all you need is main route arcs 3-8 aka ottos entire screentime thus far, because at arc 4 its so easy to overlook otto unless youre thinking a bit deeper (for example—he gets violent with subaru. like yeah its entertaining, its played for laughs a bit, yeah subaru needed to be snapped out of his own head, but was it 100% necessary??? why did otto have this response??? bc if you just look at the main timeline otto really decided to beat up subaru first. and bc this tendency is now Less Funny in arc 8).

but even if youre just looking at rezero face value, when you get to arc 5 its starting to get even more clear that ottos weird in the head. like we already saw him being very good at scheming and planning in arc 4–in arc 5, we find out about otto hiding the tome for a year. we find out WHY hes been hiding the tome for a year. the tome then leads the witch cult into priestella, so like—in the sense, otto is RESPONSIBLE for arc 5. but theres STILL a tendency sometimes for the audience to continue underestimating him even though by this point we’re getting more clues and many characters around otto, like you said anon, KNOW hes very capable. i keep wondering why this is, but arc 5 is, again, FULL of chaos and different storylines happening at once, so its so easy to almost kind of forget otto there in the background until he occasionally pops up again. plus otto serves an additional role as comedic relief sometimes—he spends all of arc 5 being bitchy and whiny (i say this affectionately HAH) about his camp being full of disasters, for example, so i think the natural response from the audience tends to be “aw otto!! what a silly guy!!” sometimes. you know? so its like. i think at this point some people tend to be like “yeah fair that otto was wary of roswaal and thats why he saved the tome…. anyway ooooh whats going on with these other plot points” wobsbss. its so fascinating bc—ok this might be my own personal experience but anyone reading this pls tell me if you agree or not—i dont think ive seen a lot of people actually even MENTION otto bringing the tome into priestella attracting witch cultists. and the english speaking fandom LOVES to go into certain characters’ wrongdoings so why gloss over otto????

the only explanation i have for this is that from arcs 3-4 underestimating otto is. kind of the point of his character UNTIL you get to arc 5 and the clues in the main story start seeping in even more. and also the western audience DOES have media illiteracy a lot. theres that too. just look at rezero content on youtube or reddit or fanfic sites or other things of that sort T^T but no yeah i think ottos nature as a character exacerbates it. youre supposed to start asking questions about him. youre supposed to start connecting the dots and then SUDDENLY its now EXTREMELY obvious in arc 7-8 and even while theres so much chaos going on its basically shoved in your face. arc 7-8 is just delivering on all the leadup that was arcs 3-5.

and i think that youve gotta be media illiterate for sure to NOT get that otto is not squeaky clean and innocent BY ARC 8. i think that ottos the deconstruction of the loyal best friend trope, and also a mirror into what subaru couldve been like if he decided to be more ruthless instead of jumping right to forgiveness and saving everyone, except sometimes that flies right over the audience’s head wkdndnd. it confuses me bc ive seen some people completely miss the point or completely agree with otto and overlook the Bad Parts of it or, you know, STILL think ottos perfectly sane—like T^T please.

and yeah so back to what you said about otto Not being underestimated In Universe—its such an interesting detail bc hes ALWAYS been simultaneously pathetic and Very Competent wjdndnd. but yeah no all of his friends have seen various hints and clues and evidence of what hes capable of. like even though he hid the tome from them successfully and even though hes hiding info now its INEVITABLE that its gonna blow up in his face one day. like you got characters like garfiel who literally saw otto punch the wall and break his hand in an unhinged fit of rage, julius who got snapped at by otto and while julius is a Bit naive definitely knows somethings off there, anastasia whos smart as hell and definitely knows not to underestimate otto, and roswaal who, like you said anon, literally went out of his way to stop otto from breaking his hand in another unhinged fit of rage and warned otto that he will literally be destroying himself if he keeps going on like this. its this fascinating dichotomy bc otto is NOT fooling anyone around him but at the same time his current schemes are mostly unnoticed—for now—which yeah i havent seen that in a lot of media!!! its an interesting balancing act bc people around him realistically know hes competent after seeing the Proof of that for the past couple arcs, but otto is still finding ways to try and Win…

which—again, the anger and violence is an extension of arc 4 otto!! this is the same guy!! hes always been like this!! ottos kind of stayed the same, deep down, this whole time and as an audience its ONLY shoved in our face with a big gigantic spotlight on it FOUR ARCS LATER, but it was hinted to all this time. and like you said anon—we LITERALLY see ottos fucked up thought processes. literally what sane person thinks any of that shit. its spelled right out for the reader HAH T^T which—yeah. media illiteracy…. and also this whole ask was a longer way of just saying that otto is VERY easy to see at surface level if youre media illiterate. but at the same time it should be very easy to figure out otto is A Bit Fucked Up bc tappei underlines it in bright red print!!! i think people sometimes just hang onto soft awkward silly otto and forget about the rest T^T either that or they dont think he cares about subaru at all. which. that phenomenon of thinking characters that do care about subaru Dont Care is also interesting to me bc why????? we’re at arc 8 and you STILL dont get it??? o.ooooo

but yeah apart from that….. i said this earlier but yeah sometimes some people agree with ottos realism in arc 8 which is. understandable, but the whole point is that he is EXTREME. with it. hes Not in the right here, but the same crowd that wants wanton revenge in rezero is gonna agree with that kind of stuff T^T ottos been lurking in the background so much so that tappei made it meta by doing the whole “walking in darkness” part of his character, so i guess people just. dont see ottos ACTUAL worst traits and instead think he would ditch subaru at the first opportunity or something. but at the point we are now, arc 8 ottos problem isnt that hed ditch subaru. his problem is that he would sacrifice the world for subaru. his problem is that he gets extremely angry at subaru for trying to do good. his problem is that hes trying to micromanage everything around him and is willing to sacrifice anything necessary to get what he wants. but sometimes people dont get that bc otto doesnt look sound or seem like a character thatd do that. the Underestimation part of his character is doing too well on. certain audiences. please T^T the soft and awkward and silly parts ARE part of his character just like all the Darker parts are!!!

additionally im also wondering if western audience perception of otto is also clouded by the fact that otto looks and sounds more feminine / androgynous and he doesnt have the appeal of Overt Power either……. he cant Really be waifu-ified… and he cant be used as a weird self insert like subaru…. and you Have to look at him closer to understand him…. and for some reason people dont tend to hate on him so aggressively, if anything people cant even see his actual canonical flaws half the time wkdndn so if youre not paying attention otto CANT be aggressively hated on bc theres nothing there if ur not looking at it….. and if youre not paying attention otto seems more “boring” compared to the others…… (not that people arent allowed to not have otto as a favorite character bc thats totally fair but im talking about the tendency to think hes Saner than he actually is.) but yeah these are just my guesses. i have no clue the western fandom is a little T^T some people unfortunately cannot read.

anyway. big thank you to the japanese fanbase for understanding ottos character more and making so much wonderful fancontent for him T^T also i think that we as a collective fanbase should stop underestimating otto in general bc its exactly what he wouldnt want and i think itd be really hilarious. <3333 make him explode with rage please

[eastofthemoon]

Last couple years, I've managed to write a muppet fic for the holidays. So, here's another one! Hope you all enjoy!

Spooky Christmas

Rating: G

Series: The Muppets

Characters: Kermit, Sam, Uncle Deadly, Miss Piggy and various others

Summary:It's time for the muppets to plan the annual Christmas show, however, Sam objects to the typical muppet style. Thankfully, Uncle Deadly has other suggestions.

Archive Of Our Own

Kermit hummed as he sat at the head table with his clipboard. He did a quick count of the chattering heads spread out around the table and it seemed everyone was here. He didn’t see the Swedish Chef, but he knew he was busy preparing snacks for break.

“Okay, settle down,” Kermit called out.

The chattering continued.

“I said settle down please.”

Talking still continued.

“I said-”

“EVERYONE, SHUT UP!” Piggy shouted as she sprang from her seat next to him.

Silence swiftly fell upon the room.

Kermit cleared his throat. “Uh, thank you, Piggy.”

“Welcome, Kermie,” she said with a smile as she sat back down.

“Now then,” Kermit started as he held up his clipboard. “It’s time to start planning our annual Christmas show. So, time for brainstorming. Any ideas?”

“How about we throw fish, but they’re covered in candy canes,” said Lew Zealand as he tossed a fish in the air and then it came flying back.

Sam huffed under his breath in his seat near the end of the table.

“Um, we’ll put a pin in that for now,” Kermit replied.

“How about a holiday rock concert,” said Doctor Teeth.

“That’s a good suggestion, but we did that last year,” Kermit replied.

“My ears are still ringing from that horrendous cacophony,” Sam muttered.

“I got a great idea for an act,” Gonzo cried. “I dance in a bucket of sugar plums, while twenty tinsel cannons go off.”

Sam’s grumblings grew louder. “Of all the ridiculous-”

“Um..we’ll also, put a pin in that one,” Kermit replied.

“I have a suggestion,” said Piggy. “I think this year we should do a play.”

“Oh?” asked Kermit. “What kind are you thinking of?”

“A classic, Pride and Prejudice .”

Kermit blinked. “Um, Piggy, that’s not really a holiday story.”

Piggy grinned as she batted her eyes. “It can be if we include mistletoe.”

Kermit felt sceptical, but he could hear everyone beginning to toss ideas around it. It honestly was the best suggestion so far.

Gonzo raised his hand. “Can I use my tinsel canons?!”

Kermit stared at him. “Tinsel canons? For Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice .” He gave a deep sigh. “Yes, you can use tinsel canons.”

“Woot!” “Well, okay,” Kermit said as he started to write on his clipboard. “If everyone is for it we can-”

“I OBJECT,” Sam said as he slammed his wing on the table. “This nonsense can go on no longer.”

Piggy glared. “What’s your problem?!”

Sam glared back as he leaned over the table. “My problem is that every year we put out some tomfoolery that we call a ‘Holiday Performance’. I say it’s time we do a Christmas show the traditional and American way with proper holiday symbols like Frosty, reindeer and Santa!”

The group began to groan and protest.

“But EVERYONE does those,” Fozzie replied

“Si,” Pepe snapped, “and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a repeat of the snowman fiasco, okay?”

“No kidding,” Floyd called out. “Animal still get nightmares from it.”

Animal shivered. “So...cold.”

“If the floor is open,” Uncle Deadly said with his seat next to Piggy’s. “I may be able to provide some unique alternatives.”

Kermit frowned. “Oh, yeah? Like what?”

“It better not be more flying fish,” Sam muttered.

“Have you ever heard the Icelandic tale of the Yule Cat?” asked Uncle Deadly.

Kermit frowned puzzled. “I can’t say that I have?”

“I haven’t,” said Rizzo, “but anything that involves the word ‘cat’ instantly makes me suspicious.”

“The story goes,” Uncle Deadly continued, “on Christmas Eve the Yule Cat comes down from it’s home in the mountains to check to see if people are wearing new clothes.”

“Hmm,” Sam muttered, “not quite Santa, but I can appreciate a creature making sure people are properly suited for the occasion.”

Kermit continued to stare at Deadly. “And what happens if a person doesn't get new clothes?”

Uncle Deadly waved a hand. “Oh, it eats them.”

Sam choked. “What?”

“Ha! Called it,” Rizzo called.

Kermit felt a tug on his arm and glanced down at Robin.

“Uncle Kermit, am I going to have to start wearing pants?” he asked.

“I have a feeling the Yule Cat isn’t going to check on frogs,” he said quietly.

“That is horrible,” Sam bellowed.

Uncle Deadly gave a shrug. “Well, I have heard modern versions say the Yule Cat makes a mess of the house rather than consuming it’s inhabitants.”

“Hey, we could do stuff with that,” Rowlf said. “Make jokes about it clawing the curtains, it can’t deciding if it wants inside or out-”

“And,” Fozzie cut in as he raised a hand, “I got a lot of cat jokes that would be purrfect! Eh? Eh?”

“His jokes sure seem like something the cat dragged in!” Statler yelled while Waldorf laughed.

Kermit gave a nod. “Okay, we can use the Yule Cat-”

“Certainly, not,” Sam said sharply. “We can not endorse feline misdemeanor!”

Uncle Deadly drummed his fingers on the table in thought. “If that’s not your ‘cup of tea’, I suppose there are the Yule Lads.”

“And who are they?” Sam asked suspiciously.

“13 brothers who each come to visit home on the last 13 nights leading up to Christmas.” He folded his hands together as he leaned forward. “Children leave their shoes on windowsills and in return the lads will leave small gifts and a rotten potato in ones that have been naughty.”

Sam mulled this over. “That’s much more palatable. What are their names?”

“I don’t recall the exact order, but one of them is called Spoon-Licker.”

Sam froze as Kermit looked on curiously.

“What?” said Sam.

“Another is called Pot-Scraper, Door-Slammer, Sasuage-Swiper-”

“Those are horrible names!” Sam snapped.

“They are a bit of an odd choice,” Kermit replied.

Uncle Deadly raised a finger. “To be fair, they’re named after the pranks they pull in the houses they visit.”

Sam massaged his forehead. “Of all the stupid...”

“What kind of mother gives them those kinds of names?” Piggy asked.

“Well, considering their mother is the child eating ogress Grýla, who hunts for disobedient children to throw into her stew pot, I imagine appropriate names is not her top priority.” He paused and raised a hand. “I should mention she’s also the owner of the Yule Cat.”

“Interesting family,” Piggy replied, darkly.

Kermit tapped his chin. “Well, if we hold back on some of the child eating stuff-”

“No,” Sam growled.

“Then how about the Krampus?” Uncle Deadly suggested.

Sam sighed. “He’s not another member of the Lad family is he?”

Uncle Deadly placed a hand over his chest. “Certainly not, he is a companion of Santa Claus.”

“Oh, that’s better,” Sam said as he eased up. “He helps deliver the toys?”

Uncle Deadly waved a hand back and forth. “Yes and no. He does ride with Santa, but while Old Saint Nick hands out toys to good children, the Krampus whips the bad ones with branches and sticks.”

Sam buried his face into his wings. “Why am I not even surprised?”

“There are even some darker stories that say he throws them into his basket to take them back to his lair to eat them.”

Sam glared at him. “I’m rather concerned about how often cannibalism is coming up in these stories.”

“It’s not cannibalism though,” said Scooter. “I mean ‘cannibalism’ is when a person eats their own kind, and these creatures aren’t human so it’s just people eating.”

“Wait, hold it,” Bobo said as he sipped his coffee. “If we ate each other would that be cannibalism? I mean, we’re different creatures but we’re also all ‘the muppets’ so-”

“I’m going to stop you there before you go further down that rabbit hole,” Kermit said before turning back to Uncle Deadly. “Still, if we tone down some aspects we might be able to-”

“Why are you even considering this?!” Sam snapped. “Dangerous felines? Ruffians breaking into houses to lick spoons? What does any of that have to do with Christmas?!”

“Because there are people that do rather enjoy the spooky side to Christmas,” Kermit replied.

Sam blinked dazed. “Spooky side to Christmas? What are you talking about?!”

“Well, the holidays take place on the longest, coldest and darkest nights of the year,” Kermit said. “Isn’t it only natural that people find that a bit scary and make up stories to deal with it?”

“It’s true,” Bunsen chimed in. “The traditions of Yule are said to go back centuries.”

Beaker cleared his throat. “Meep, meep, meep! Meep, meep, meep. Meep. Meep, meep, meep. Meep, meep, meep? Meep!”

Everyone gave a unanimous applause.

“Well spoken,” said Uncle Deadly, “that was truly profound.”

“Indeed,” Bunsen said as he patted Beaker’s shoulder. “I do love it when you use your anthropology knowledge.”

“Nevertheless,” snapped Sam. “We are Americans and therefore we should do an American Christmas play. We should do A Christmas Carol .”

“Um, I do love A Christmas Carol ,” said Gonzo, “but we’ve done it a million times.”

“Yeah, we want something new,” said Rizzo.

“But it is American and has none of this dark Christmas stuff,” Sam stated firmly.

“A Christmas Carol?” Kermit said blankly. “The one written by a British author that is about three ghosts haunting a man to change his ways? That A Christmas Carol?”

“And let’s not forget how the Ghost Of Christmas Yet To Come is a grim symbol of our fear of mortality and grappling with death.”

Everyone turned to Fozzie stunned.

He shrugged. “What? Can’t a bear appreciate the classics?”

“Sure, he can,” said Waldorf.

“They’re as old as your jokes,” said Statler as both the old men laughed.

Sam gave a deep defeated sigh as he turned to Kermit. “Pride and Prejudice it is.”

“Great,” said Kermit. “Now how many cannons do we need?”

[everybodyshusband]

feeeliiiiiiix, i’m rattling the bars of my cage once again because i see that prompt list, baby!! >:3c

hehehe, what about 37. and 42. with some zephyr/cowbell because YES. i’m still thinking about them thank you very much

you should always be thinking about them >:D consider this as a way to tide you over until i finish The zephbell piece for you :> the prompts were "kiss me" and "so excited already..." i hope i did your request justice, love !! (and since it's been... a while, in case you're a little confused, this is the prompt list that the ever-wonderful leaff is referring to <3) explicit. | cw: semi public sex, edging | they/them zephyr, it/its cock-wielding earth ghoul cowbell. 1.3k words

"Cowbell!" Zephyr huffs indignantly, although having known the air ghoul for what feels like aeons now, Cowbell is well aware that they're not upset by its actions, not properly, at least. "Can you not see I am in the middle of a task?"

"Don't care." It presses the words softly into their mind, praying that its thoughts wrap as deliciously around the air ghoul's brain stem as they always claim. "Kiss me," it urges, wrapping long, skeletal fingers in Zephyr's tunic and pulling them as close as possible; somehow, the air ghoul manages to keep their fingers on the correct notes of the keyboard. "I need it."

"Mine erthe, you must learn to hold patience. Allow me to complete the music first. Lead me not into your frightful temptation whilst I am busy, foul demon." The smirk that dances across the air ghoul's lips and the spark in their eyes proves to Cowbell that there is no real venom behind Zephyr's playful words. Well, no more than there usually is, anyway. They grace the earth ghoul with a quick peck on the lips before turning their attention back to the task at their hand.

Their fingers press on the keys of their beloved keyboard with an elegance they refuse to comprehend, no matter how many times Cowbell tells them. The earth ghoul rounds the keyboard, standing behind Zephyr to read their sheet music over their shoulder; some classical piece they're rehearsing for next week's Black Mass that Cowbell knows for a fact Zephyr already knows by heart. The notes are a mess of ink on paper to the earth ghoul, so it can't help but admire the way Zephyr is able to translate a language so indecipherable to Cowbell into the haunting melody currently ringing through the chapel.

(Perhaps that's part of the reason the air ghoul is so hesitant to begin anything... lascivious with Cowbell; they are in public after all, and a sacred place at that. But that's never stopped either of them before.)

Before Zephyr can even begin to predict what's happening, Cowbell is pressing its body against theirs, wrapping its arms tight around their shoulders, and kissing and nipping up and down the length of their throat.

The air ghoul sighs and continues playing, attuned enough to Cowbell's antics by now that they're able to carry on with their business despite its bothersome interruptions. Cowbell's glad of that. It makes teasing them all the more enjoyable. Means it has to work harder to gauge a proper reaction.

Means that when the desperation for Zephyr to engage in its little game gets to be too much, it can start working even harder. Can start grinding its hips against the air ghoul with uncoordinated jerky motions, moaning softly in their ear as pleasure quickly spreads through its vessel. Means that the most impressive reaction it is able to garner from the air ghoul in response to its tomfoolery is a hitched breath and the faltering of fingers against the keyboard.

Alas, it doesn’t take long for Zephyr to regain most of their composure and continue working the melodies of the piece with unrivalled skill, seeming to no longer be affected by their mate using their back to get itself off. Cowbell wishes its acts would have more of an effect on the air ghoul, but continues chasing its pleasure nevertheless; it isn’t going to let a little indifference get in the way of its end goal.

It doesn’t take long for the earth ghoul’s quick-thinking mind to begin to wander. Switching from wondering what will be served at tonight’s dinner, to how it might be able to work the air ghoul up until they're just as desperate as it is, to thoughts about Zephyr’s hands so impure that it is sure even Terzo would be astounded by the depravity of its mind. With the kind of thoughts racing through its head, it doesn’t take long for Cowbell to find itself chasing a rapidly approaching orgasm.

Zephyr must notice the change in pace of its rutting or the newfound desperation in its whines against their throat because Cowbell feels the muscles in Zephyr’s neck pull as they smirk at it and open their mouth to tease. "So excited already, my dear? If I did not know better, I would say you have already found yourself close to an edge... Is that true, darling?"

Cowbell breathes raggedly into the junction between Zephyr's neck and shoulder, nodding shakily and moaning at the embarrassment of how rapidly the drag of its clothed cock against the air ghoul's back is ricocheting it to the edge of orgasm. This isn’t the first time Cowbell has been this particular type of menace to Zephyr while they’ve attempted to fit some practice in around their busy schedule, but by the extent to which its own actions are affecting the earth ghoul, it might as well be.

There’s a tension building and spreading through its entire body as it creeps closer and closer to the edge, and Cowbell can’t help but start begging. “Zeph– My sky, please.”

“Please?” Zephyr inquires, tilting their head to the side in mock confusion. Cowbell tries to pretend that the extra sliver of skin the action exposes doesn’t drive it crazy with need. "What is it you are begging for, mine erthe?”

Cowbell grits its teeth as it does its best to hold off its impending orgasm for a few moments longer; it dreads to think of the punishment Zephyr will dream up if it fails to hold itself back from its own pleasure for even a moment. “Need to cum,” it whines into Zephyr’s head. “Wanna cum, sky. Please? Please let me? I– I gotta– Fuck, I can’t–”

“Can’t?” Zephyr asks sharply. “What can’t you do, erthe?” Cowbell is sure the only time the air ghoul ever uses contractions is when they’re mocking it. Honestly, it can’t complain; it enjoys the harshness behind their tone as they wrap their lips around words so foreign to their unique way of speaking.

It whines in response to Zephyr's words, continuing to rut against Zephyr’s back even as it teeters dangerously on the edge. “Can’t hold back, gonna cum. Wanna be good for you. Lemme cum, please let me cum, Zeph…” It is almost sobbing by now, pressing its words into Zephyr’s mind with just a hint of its own tear-streaked desperation, praying to whichever deity feels compelled to listen that the air ghoul will show it mercy before it’s too late.

As Cowbell speaks, Zephyr shifts forward, effectively stopping the earth ghoul from thrusting against their back any longer. It really does sob this time, hips still desperately rutting forward in the hope that the minute amounts of friction of pants against its cock will be enough to finally let it spill its pent-up release. Shamelessly, it starts begging again, tears obvious in its voice even as it speaks only in Zephyr’s mind.

Its desperate pleas are cut off as the air ghoul turns around on their stool and pulls Cowbell’s face down to meet theirs, catching it off guard with a bruising kiss. It’s intense, meant to claim, to own, and that’s all the permission Cowbell needs in order to tip over the edge with a scream that surely must echo around Zephyr’s skull enough to give them a headache.

The earth ghoul sobs with pleasure and relief as Zephyr continues to stake their claim against its lips, wrapping its arms around them to pull them as close and physically possible in the position they currently find themselves as it shudders helplessly through its orgasm.

Despite Cowbell’s whine of protest, Zephyr pulls back just enough for their lips to barely graze Cowbell’s own. “Good pet,” they whisper softly, immediately pulling the earth ghoul back in for another kiss.

Cowbell pretends their words don’t make its spent cock kick valiantly and instead allows itself to be guided by Zephyr, falling into the kiss with the hopes of being given the air ghoul an opportunity to feel just as good as it does now.

[starfoam]

Actually, lemme break down Pokeverse for a sec because a lot of it is just "pick it up as you go along", but that's not really fair to new people. So here's some basics.

The big "trait" of Pokeverse is that Lo's aware of what she calls "timelines", but are actually just blog continuities. She can tell when she's met a "new" muse before (ie the blog remade/rebooted), can distinguish if muses are from different "sources" (muns, but she doesn't know the sources are people), and can recognize when a timeline has "ended" or she's lost connection to it (the blog deleted).

She perceives this as a form of interdimensional travel, and what's more, she can identify who each timeline is anchored around (the main muse of the blog). She calls this person the "focus" - if they die or leave, the whole timeline collapses.

She does not use this to control other timelines. Quite the opposite - Lo is desperate to keep timelines stable and connected for as long as she can, partially because her memories are tied to those connections. The only way for her to preserve her memories is to hold onto a physical object from a timeline that has disconnected, including photographs of that timeline. As such, she keeps a lot of mementos and scrapbooks.

Again, let me be clear - I have no intention of godmodding with this information. This is less about her being omnipotent and more about her being trapped in a form of time loop; aware that she could wake up tomorrow and her close friends could just not exist, with no proof they were ever there. It's about loving while grieving, grappling with the inevitable, and the nature of memory.

This mostly affects her dialogue - she may allude to other muses, lost memories, or in-game events she's witnessed in other blog continuities. Granted, her memory was rebooted a year and a half ago, so a lot of that information is lost. Fun!

Anyway, here's some more stuff.

Lo is from Melemele Island, born and raised. She's 28 as of today (February 20th, 2023) and will be 29 on May 5th. She resides on the island currently, but is capable of teleportation and thus can be anywhere.

She has powers. These powers are pretty tightly defined (super strength, telekinesis, flight, crystal and energy blast conjuration, super healing, teleportation, immortality) but their origin is unclear. She fell down a hole when she was 19, there was a bright flash of light and some "is this eternity or an instant" tomfoolery, and then she pulled herself out. Her powers started coming in a week later.

She acts as a superpowered vigilante named "Luminous", but on Melemele her powers are an open secret. Everybody saw her hair fall out and come back in white, they know.

Lorelei has a baby sister, Kiana, a dad, three moms (her parents divorced and both married women), and an alternate, Lore.

Lore exists because Lo's blog (in 2014) started as a fan-region based on Hawai'i. And then Alola happened. So I soft-rebooted the original blog to be about Alola instead of my (pretty threadbare) fan-region, but later decided to do an event where Lo finds the ruins of that fan-region. Lore, who does not have powers, was the only remaining inhabitant. Lo brought her back to her dimension and now they just kinda vibe. Lore is 19.

Lo's main Pokemon companion is a quadrupedal goodra named Benji. He goes "mrrp?"

There is a... castle? Floating off the coast of Melemele? That only exists when Lo approaches it. It's an interdimensional hub to other worlds, but Lo keeps getting lost in it.

She's a really good cook. Ask her to make you something.

Lore is the one who rebooted Lo's timeline memory by destroying most of the contents of her scrapbook. Lorelei doesn't know.

[toxicindividual]

Pinned post #1

Rules to know:

- I will be posting whenever I do

- I will post nothing but for my own self amusement

- I will have little to no compassion for others confusion

- I will show unending contention and unabashed tomfoolery in my practices

- I will copiously delete and conflict most all opinions, including my own

- I may occasionally post cats but not without a massive wall of text you couldn't care less about

- I will vehemently attack whatever position I wish to subsume without any proof while simultaneously claiming anyone else therefore is lacking

- I will conveniently abandon whatever topic I wish to move on from without any notice or prior aknowledge

- I may erratically vear into unattached contexts and insert whatever dramatic or absurd nonsense I feel like adding

- I may proactively appear invested in making progress while simultaneously reducing every personal responsibility or due action unto others

- I will constantly consider the overarching consequences of every situation while often ignoring the most obvious solutions or adaptations

- I will eagerly pursue individuals who interact with me beyond their own insistence until bored or not feeling so serious / silly

- I may excitedly adapt my reactions in naive and societally unexpected ways while simultaneously adding inappropriate emphasis

- I may obscure and indirectly hint towards underlying intentions without ever confirming their existence

- I will treat every conversation as a potential threat and aggressively protect my external confidence

- I will never yield a return to a lost or even partially losing battle when there exists a more advantageous opportunity regardless of the haste or disgracefulness it ensues

- I will never truthfully project my internal expectations without disavowing them in an obviously defensable or meta-ironic way

- I will continually forget my surroundings and current objectives

- I will suspiciously and or serindipitously receive certain memories up to vivid definition for contribution at late times

- I will habitually regurgitate the same information while simultaneously lacking the ability to recall any particular or discrete data

- I will sensationally engage in frivolous acts of bitchiness and dumbassery

- I will not regret wasting yours or mines time

- I will not reflect on any lesson attempted to be enforced on me

- I will not respect any presence or entity unless enforced upon me or somehow proven worthwhile and worth me

- I will sporadically make typos and factually incorrect statements

- I may obnoxiously include emoticons and quite frankly a lot of fucking emojis

- I may never thank you or anyone else for anything experienced

- I may never say sorry for any mistake or offenses committed

- I will inexplicably shift in personas or tones of communication

- I hate the United States people for their failure to deliver our constitutional values