#i will be picking up activity on this blog and to be actually logged in when i can

[woollypoison]

Comeback of a lifetime

Fromis_9 Lee Nagyung x male reader THIS IS A REUPLOAD! Maybe you've seen this work before, maybe you haven't. It used to be uploaded on a blog called K-DGN, run by two people. That blog got destroyed, and now I run this blog by myself, posting only 100% original kdol fanfic content. word count: 5,803

At some point you had to face reality. Your entire life revolved around playing League of Legends, watching kpop fancams, and disappointing your parents. You were already 22 years old, way older than any academy player active nowadays. Making your professional debut would be a miracle. You weren’t bad at the game, far from it, actually. You consistently hit challenger rank getting to the top 500 in all of South Korea. The only thing that eluded you was that top 100 rank, the milestone needed to get picked up by a professional team. It was never easy to make these kinds of decisions, but you vowed today was the last day you’d spend at this PC bang. Thousands of hours you spent in this place, but today would be the final one. Goodbye, comfy gaming chairs. Goodbye, on demand snack ordering. Goodbye, staying up to long past midnight grinding ELO. Goodbye, all the other regulars who you’d grown distantly attached to.

These regulars included the 16-year-old duo stack you’d been seeing come in every day for the last three years. You believed that one of them would make it pro while the other was just a stepping stone. It also included that 30-something-year-old, still grinding Starcraft 2. A grim sight of a potential future. Finally, it also included the cute girl that was around your age, who would appear and disappear again sporadically for long stretches of time. She’d always be tucked away in some corner of the establishment, wearing a variation of dark colored covering clothes, baseball caps and a black mouth mask. All you could tell about her appearance was her alluring eyes, and that she had a body that no hoodie could hide.

They were all present today, as if cosmically aware of your departure and giving you one grand goodbye. You were so deprived of normal human interaction that the delusion was almost enough to make you wipe away a tear. You normally weren’t one to focus on anything other than your game, but today you thought to yourself that since it was your last day anyways, you might as well take a risk. Today, you took place on the computer next to the cute girl you’d always admired from afar.

You couldn’t blame her for dressing the way she did, hiding herself. You go to a PC bang to focus on gaming, not to get hit on. If she dressed up, you were sure she’d have no time to focus on her matches. This was the first time you sat somewhere where you could see her screen. 

You could never confirm before today, but you had a sneaking suspicion she was also into LoL. You heard her rage about “my son of a bitch jungler”, or her “ dumbass inting support” on rare occasions. She seemed to be able to keep her calm most of the time though. Now, you could finally take a peek at her monitor and confirm it to be true.

A thought entered itself in your head that today you could finally use those skills you’d been honing all these years to impress her, and maybe you could get a fresh start on some social contact and a way out of this miserable life. Your little peak revealed her rank as well. She was currently down in the trenches of Silver 2. Not very impressive, but a good sign that you had a shot at impressing her. Hopefully.

Step 1: Log in to your LoL account. Step 2: Play a game and hope she looks over at your monitor and sees how good you are. Step 3: Have her fawn over how good you are. Okay, it wasn’t a great plan, but that's all you had the courage for today.

Uh-oh. Maybe it was better to think of a plan while you weren’t still OBVIOUSLY staring at her screen. She had noticed, her eyes slowly peeking over towards yours as you made eye contact. You could tell the tip of her nose was scrunched up like an angry cat telling you to back off. This was the first time you had a real chance to take in her eyes, and you felt like you could drown in them. They were big, round and somewhere in between cute and sexy. Enough to instantly fluster you. They felt familiar as well. Like you could swear you had seen these eyes a thousand times before. You shook it off and took the hint, finally looking away and leaving her be. You settled in to your little spot for the night and started queueing. Your games went surprisingly well. Better than usual, even. It was almost as if the universe heard you were wanting to quit, and decided to entice you to stay. You were on a roll, win after win after win. The booth next to you, well, you weren’t looking anymore, but the sounds were enough to tell. She was raging, growing more and more frustrated by the minute. Against your better judgment, you decided to sneak a fast peak over at her setup. Big mistake. Seemingly possessed with some supernatural gift, she immediately caught your eyes darting over to her, and glared at you as if to say “you’re next”. You quickly started looking back over at your own screen. She… wasn’t however. It was impossible to ignore her staring daggers at you, peering over while slowly moving closer and peeking at your screen. You weren’t in-game yet, just sitting in queue for 12 minutes already (as you were used to for high-ELO games), but your rank was clearly on display. Did this somehow count as step 2 from your plan? “Hey, nerd.” cut through the silence, and also through your hopes of reaching part 3 of your plan. “Can you help me out here?” She continued, in a surprisingly bashful, cutesy tone. Her chair was fully turned towards yours at this point but her face was turned toward the floor, hiding behind her facemask and under her baseball cap. You expected scorn, a giant explosion in your face, but instead she was acting cute? Did your plan work? “What’s… up?” You replied hesitantly. She responded by turning her chair towards her monitor again and pointing her hand flatly at the chat log of her currently active game.

You stood up and hovered over her shoulder as you studied what was up. The screen was gray and she was waiting to respawn. The girl was playing marksman and had a current KDA of 3/7/1. Suffice it to say it was not the greatest performance, but that wasn’t her point. “Can you believe this fucking guy?!” She berated the enemy marksman, who had spent the entire game flaming and mocking her in chat after every kill he got on her. “You want me to get revenge on him for you?” She was taken aback a little, her eyes squinting at you like you just said something insane. “What? I wanted you to tell me they’re a piece of shit and for you to compliment me so I’d feel better about myself.” Her response made you feel like you did say something stupid, but to your surprise she got up from her chair. “Right, I mean, they are a fucking piece of shit,” you responded, laying it on a little thick, “and they are lucky to even be in a game with a cutie like you.” Your response made her chuckle a couple of high pitched laughs, before taking in a big breath. “That’s more like it!” She clapped her hands, satisfied with your response. “Now sit down and get revenge for me, please?” Her hands clasped together, unifying in front of her belly button and causing her to push her bosom together. You hadn’t noticed before now, but her hoodie had zipped down slightly, allowing you to take a peek at what she was working with. You couldn’t help but glance, but what took you back the most was that when you looked back at her face, her eyes were still fixated on yours. She definitely saw you look, but she either acted like she didn’t see, or that she didn’t care that you looked. Whatever the case was, you sat down in that chair and were ready to lock in.

It took you less than one minute to bait her opponent in, completely outmaneuvering him and getting that shut down. “That was amazing! Serves him right!” The girl erupted, impressed by your display of digital dominance. This was child’s play for you though, since defeating a silver player is a given. She leaned over your left side, her chest slightly pressing into your shoulder, getting you even more worked up than you already were.

“Well, I should get back to my seat.” You relented, considering this a job well done. Getting a chance to show off your skills to a girl you could only assume was the cutest you’d ever seen in your life was a good end to your career here you thought. She disagreed. Strongly. “What? No! You can’t stop now, you have to completely destroy him!” She pleaded, clearly having bigger plans for you. “I really shouldn’t, you know, it’s against the terms of service and- ” you objected. As much as you enjoyed the praise, you really wanted to get some gaming against some good players today. “I’ll make it worth your while every time you kill them?” She rebuffed your rejection, ever so slightly provoking you by further unzipping her hoodie revealing a low cut black tee underneath. “Say less!” was all you replied, before reseating yourself back in her chair. You were locked in like a man possessed, not even noticing how you just missed the 14 minute queue pop on your own computer, destroying any chance of having a good game any time soon.

Your target came back to lane, and like clockwork, it barely took a full minute to send him back to spawn. As promised, the mystery girl delivered. She got real close to you, pressing her soft chest against you once more. Her face, this time even closer than before. So close that you could feel the warmth of her breath disperse through her facemask on your skin. Her lips were mere inches removed from your ear.

“You are so fucking good at this, oppa.. We should play together some time and I’ll let you pick me up and carry me.” Her sultry tone effortlessly seduced you, cementing the idea that you would do anything and everything that she’d ask of you. You couldn’t fight the creeping feeling that at this point it wasn’t just her eyes that felt familiar. You could have sworn you’d heard this voice before.

Another minute passes by, and you reward your lane opponent with another one way trip to the respawn fountain. You hated to admit it, but you were trying your absolute best at this point. Making calls, guiding your jungler, leading your team to objectives. If every kill meant a response from her, you had every intention of ending this game with 100 kills.

Your reward this time? She pulled your chair back a little, creating space for her to squeeze in between before planting herself in your lap. Her soft ass pressed up against your waking erection, which you hoped she either didn’t notice or at least pretended to not notice. Her hips bucked and swirled, grinding against your groin no more and no less than two times before settling in and removing any doubt of her not feeling your cock snuggled in between her thighs. Once again, no recognition or scorn was earned for it. “Can you still play like this?” her cutesy voice inquired with her pitch rising, making it impossible to complain even if you wanted to. You gave her a slight nod, finally releasing your breath and looking past the beauty fitting into your shape and refocusing on the game. You had kills to farm. She leaned forward, pressing her ass even more into you, and took control of the keyboard before typing up a storm. With a newfound confidence in your skills, she was now taunting her nemesis. You focused up, and once more scored a kill on your target. It seemed like her taunting worked, and tilted the enemy into trying to prove themselves. She did a little jump in your lap cheering you on. She twisted her upper body towards you, placing both of her hands on your shoulders before retreating one back to remove her face mask and ball cap combo in order to finally reveal herself to you. She left you no time to connect the dots, leaning down towards the left side of your face and planting a kiss on your cheek. “Keep this up, and I’ll make sure you never forget this.” As much as this excited you, the revelation of you connecting the dots on why her eyes and voice felt familiar was too grand to not remark on. The girl sitting in your lap right was none other than Lee Nagyung, the visual from one of your favorite girl groups, Fromis_9! “Holy shit you’re Nagyung!” You couldn’t help but exclaim, maybe even against your better judgment. “And you’re going right back to your own seat if you don’t quiet down!” She scowled back, her teeth exposed through her lips as she brought her finger before her mouth, shushing you. She looked around desperately to see if your little stunt had caused any complications, but it was a slow day at the PC bang. Luckily for you, nobody had seemed to hear you.

“Understood! I’m sorry, I’m just a big fan.” You continued, pleading your case. A cute smirk adorned her face, before she closed her eyes and gave you a small understanding nod. In the chaos, you had completely lost focus of the game, and only regained it once you noticed your screen going gray and the chat being filled with “Great, our Jinx is back to inting” messages. Nagyung didn’t even need to tell you to focus up as you took immediate control of the game again, guiding your team on what to do until you respawned. Laning phase had ended by this point, but it was still a Silver lobby. This meant that the laning phase usually just shifted to everyone laning in the mid lane. When your screen turned into color, you rushed mid lane where you last spotted your target, and took him down again without even a hint of trouble. This time his entire team was also there, and you knew you could take them all down. But you backed off. You pinged your team back, your reasoning being the longer this game went on, the more chances you’d have to kill your opponent.

Nagyung kept her promise, and her rewards were ever growing. She pressed B on your keyboard causing you to recall, giving you a slight moment of respite. She palmed her hands over yours, gently lifting them off of the keyboard and mouse, and brought them closer to her body. She guided your hands downwards in between the split of her hoodie and her pants, and finally underneath her t-shirt. Your hands grazed against the warm feeling of her bare skin before being allowed to land on the soft fabric of the sports bra covering her breasts. Nagyung’s grip tightened on yours, forcing you to squeeze onto her soft chest, your thick cock growing ever harder as it pushed into her thighs. She turned her head towards yours ever so slightly, puffing up a moan into your ears.

You could feel your hands melt away into her bosom, but crossing this threshold had unlocked something within you. Her hands start to move yours as if to say your time is up, but you didn’t want to stop before you had had your fun. Your fingertips circled around, making her nipples just that slightest bit harder allowing you to place both between your index and thumb, and pinched them eliciting another much more genuine moan from the girl playing with you. Her hips buckled into you, almost as if she had started grinding on you before you agreed to take your hands away and refocused on earning those rewards.

Sure enough, like a gift on a silver platter, your target showed up once more. Another free kill for you, but this time not without you also taking their tier one mid lane turret. You felt like you’d have to start considering when and where you killed him, or this game might end sooner than you’d like. This time, Nagyung shifted her balance in your lap. She turned her back towards your right side, her entire frame pointing to your left and towards the wall her PC booth was up against. She hooked her left arm around your neck with her entire body being supported by your frame as she hung her legs off of the left side of the chair’s armrest. Her body was now slightly further away from yours. You almost felt like this was becoming a punishment. That was until she started using her hand. Her right hand crossed her body and found its way onto your bulge peeking through your pants. This left no doubt whatsoever that she had felt you pressing into her multiple times, but her soft, dainty little hand caressing the silhouette of your dick left you without complaint. She was applying tender pressure downwards onto your member, her hand shifting around the contours of what she could discern off your cock, gliding up and down as if to tease you. “Get more kills” was the message. She finished teasing you, then made a small request. “Don’t let me fall.” sounded the command, placing both your hands around her thin waist. A little surprise but you did as you were told, focusing your strength now on holding her upright. She took over the controls once more, placing herself in safety before going right back to flaming her adversary. As soon as she was done, she hooked her arm back around you and relinquished control back over to you. “Now kick his ass for me, oppa!” She instructed you, your confidence boosted and your desire to fulfill her request causing you to smirk. She looked back at your face, a little impressed with how serious you were taking this. You were following along with the chat logs, and despite being a Silver 2 in the game, when it came to flaming others she was at least Diamond. Your hands were back on the keyboard, and to your surprise her hand was back on your groin. It was a little harder to perform like this, but she monitored your performance, and judged it still good enough to allow her to have her fun. She started making a little competition out of it, speeding up and slowing down depending on how focused you had to be in the game. You almost began to believe she wanted you to fail, and the smiles she gave you after hearing your moans were enough to solidify that thought.

No problem, you knew you could win against these players with one hand tied behind your back. Sure enough, enemy number one showed up, and met another quick end. You barely escaped death this time however, partially because of Nagyung’s incessant teasing. Your performance earned yourself another reward, one she was more than eager to give to you. Her hands retreated back to herself, and you needed no hint to help her hold her body upright. Nagyung’s hands floated around the base of her hoodie, goading you with how slow she moved. Her fingers twirled around the zipper, softly clasping the metal tab before splitting the two sides apart. Her hands started to lift her shirt from the bottom towards her neck. From behind, nothing had changed. Her hoodie covered everything everyone else in the PC bang could see, but to you, you were now presented with an unimpeded sight of her tits, only covered by a sports bra. She wasn’t done. She did the same with her bra, resting all the fabric right under her neckline exposing her breast to you before pushing them together for your viewing pleasure. They weren’t the biggest tits, but they looked so inviting to bury your face into. As if able to read your mind, Nagyung raised her eyebrow, cocking her head downwards before making you an offer. “You know you can kiss them if you want, oppa. But only if you don’t die.” You were almost surprised. You expected yourself to be more hesitant, but with the way her voice and demeanor lured you in, no resistance was possible. Your face drew closer to her chest, and you posited your lips around one of her nipples. You suckled on it for a couple of seconds, before clasping her pink flesh between your teeth, ever so slight applying pressure. Her moans were like honey to you. Addicting. You couldn’t get enough. As good as your situation had quickly become, you knew you had more kills to farm, so you opened your eyes and looked back towards your screen. Close enough, as you just barely managed to prevent a death. She purred into your ear, proud of you being able to pull back and survive danger once more. You used this opportunity to bait her rival into your team, securing another free and easy kill. This was almost too easy for someone like you, but you weren’t about to back down now. Not a great call. Your team managed to get Baron off of that. This meant the game could be ended at any moment. The reward however? Absolutely worth it. As soon as you secured Baron, Nagyung took over the keyboard again and typed up a storm, really getting under her foe's skin. “Go back to base, I want you to look at me for this next part, oppa.” She whispered into your ear. Her flawless face pulled back while she stared into your eyes, her eyebrows merging in the center of her forehead, pleading with you for what she had in store for you. You licked your lips, instinctively feeling what was about to come before she leaned into you, your lips merging as she kissed you. You felt her tongue prod temporarily into your mouth before you felt her retreating, leaving you breathless as you took in the sight of her biting her bottom lip.

She placed both her hands on the chair's armrests, moving her entire body away from you before climbing under the desk. She rolled your chair a little closer to her, pulling your legs forward off of the chair. Her hands towards the hem of your pants, undoing your button and pulling down your zipper. Her hands moved forward once more, now making their way to the space in between your underwear and your skin before she pulled them down slightly, exposing your cock. You could feel her fingertips graze against the tip of your cock as she slowly tightened her grip around your girth, pulling it out of your underwear. “Look at the fucking size of you…” she cooed. Your cock was hidden beneath the cover of the desk, but Nagyung wasted no time. With her hand already firmly around the base of your dick, she took one final look into your eyes, as wide as you’d ever seen them, like prey caught in a trap, unsure of whether or not they’d survive. You had never been harder in your life. You had no attention left for the game. The only thing in the world that mattered to you right now was burning the image of Nagyung sizing up your cock into your memory. With her bare chest pressed against your knees, she planted the softest kiss against the underside of your cock’s tip. Her tongue extended from in between her lips, tilting her head sideways as she traced the entire length of your shaft. The length of you caused her to have to use her hands to push her body upwards to reach maximum height before reaching your base again. “Oh fuck,” you can’t help but let escape from your soul as she maintained proper eye contact with you. Her wet tongue dragged a trail of spit all along of your cock, the only thing connecting you being that same strand of spit once she pulled back. Her eyes steeled with her resolve, as if to tell herself that she can do this.

Your hips buck as your tip gets engulfed by her warm and inviting mouth, your breaths becoming ragged and irregular as she pulls you in deeper, testing her own limits against your dick. She hesitates for a second, not breaking eye contact once. She had taken a little over half of your dick in her mouth before her eyes began pleading with you, begging as if her actions weren't far enough, but you had been passive enough today. “All the way, babygirl.” You growled back, taking command for the first time today. As if under a magic spell, her eyes rolled back and she pushed past her limit. You could feel the barrier of her throat break as the rest of your length slid effortlessly down her throat. She held it there for a few seconds before releasing you back into the cold room temperature with a loud pop. You cupped her face in your hands, cherishing her like the beautiful, erotic flower she was. It didn’t last long before she took your hands off of her face, wiped the back of her hand on her chin removing any saliva, and gave you a satisfied smile. “Back to the game. I’ll only continue while you play.” Her terms were clear, but before your hands were back on the keyboard and mouse, she added one final clause.

“And if you win the game, I’ll let you cum in my mouth.” She teasingly added, sending you over the edge, your cock throbbing in her hands as a little precum dripped out to her promise. “Looks like this guy agrees.” She chuckled, before locking your tip inside of her mouth.

She stayed like that for a while to see if you would accept her terms, but once she could hear the sounds of the keys of your keyboard clacking, she knew your answer. She began swirling her tongue around your head, sucking all the precum out of you and drooling it back onto you. This went on for a couple of minutes, with her switching her technique to pressing whatever length of you she had in her mouth against the inside of her cheek and popping it fully out of her mouth, running the edge of her lips over your entire length before taking you back in.

Her hands grabbed your thighs firmly as gasps and moans escaped your mouth, each one causing Nagyung to increase her intensity. Every time you killed her archnemesis, you reported it right away. She took your word for it at this point, and rewarded you all the same.

Her hand grazed your thigh with her fingernails with the slightest of touches before resting itself around your balls. She then began to slowly massage your sack while she continued to fuck her own throat with your cock, going deeper and deeper by the minute. The occasional glance down at her made it hard for you to even want to look at the game, her doe-like eyes so intent on making you feel amazing. Her shirt fabric was still rumpled up against her neck, giving you a slight view of her meticulous tits. Her mascara began to run thanks to the tears forming each time she pushed further. There was a rhythm to her head bobbing up and down your shaft, and it was intoxicating enough to drown in. The feeling of this naughty goddess servicing you while your attention is forced to perform in the game you’d been grinding for years meant that your focus was impossible to maintain. It was overwhelming, enough to make you feel like you’d pass out. Each glide caused an entirely new wave of ecstasy to encompass your being. It was a miracle you managed to still function in the game, consistently scoring kills to keep her rewards coming. The sounds of her gags, stifled coughs and wet slurps as she did her best to ruin your focus were too good to miss as you kept your headset off for the last part of the game. Despite this extra handicap, you still managed to destroy her antagonist once more. From this point on, you felt like you had earned it. She released from her mouth, took a deep breath, and dived right back in. In an instant, the entire length of your dick disappeared into the back of her mouth. You could hear her gag as she struggled to maintain this and in an effort to help, you moved your hips backwards to give her some space. Her hands dug into the back of your hips however, pushing you forward. This was what she wanted, and you had no right pulling out of her mouth. “Nnnghh, fuck!” Her eyes were all she had to talk to you with, but they smirked. She could do this, and you were more than happy to oblige. You even pushed forward a little, a surprised stifled yelp escaping from beneath the desk below you.

Nagyung was fucking herself senseless on your cock, and there was nothing slow about it. A soft, wet slopping sound caught your attention, as you peeked to catch a glimpse of how she had started fingering herself, her mouth still impaled on your cock.

“Nagyung, I’m about to..” you began to moan out, before she released you from her warm insides, reprimanding you. “No, not until you win! And call me babygirl…” Her eyes now failing to meet yours. “Since I don’t want anyone to find out my identity.” She almost whispered, but you understood. “I know, I’m about to win!” You clarified, her eyes widening in surprise as she peeked out from under the desk to confirm. Sure enough, you were sieging the base, and your, or rather, her win was imminent. “Oh fuck, okay, wait just a second!” She replied in a rushed panic, pulling her upper body above the desk enough so that she could lay into her opponent one final time. It was no lie that you wanted to say you were about to win, but you also were about to cum as well. Her sudden pause did put a little halt to that. “I believe you owe me cumming down your throat, babygirl.” You remarked as you directed her back to her task. Like a content little kitty, she purred and climbed back under the desk. Your full focus was now on her and she knew it. She used the opportunity to prime you some more. She pointed both her index fingers at her mouth. “Right here, oppa. This is where you have to cum, okay?” Her mouth was now fully open now as she melodies out a soft “aaaa” with her tongue hanging out of her mouth. The sight was enough to bring you right back to the edge of almost cumming. For the final stretch, she employed one last tactic. She placed both her hands palm upwards on your thighs, inviting you to put your hands on hers. She smiled as you did so, taking both your hands and placing them on the back of her head. “Now fuck my face, okay?” The lewd request made with the cutest tone imaginable was all it took. You forced her head down on your cock, pushing her all the way to the base before pulling her back and pushing her down again. You were fucking her face relentlessly, her mouth accepting you as her eyes looked at you as if she were obsessed with what you were doing. It took no more than a minute of this before you felt it finally happening. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum, babygirl!” You groaned, signaling the end. You pushed her head all the way down, holding her there for the final relief. The first shot erupted out of you, blasting into the back of her throat. String after string filled up her mouth, each dose accompanied by a grunt from her asking you if this was the last. The viscous sensation of your cum mixing with her saliva was enveloping you. As much as you wanted to sink into your chair, close your eyes and focus on the feeling, you could not tear your eyes away from the idol struggling to keep all of your load combined with your cock in her mouth. She was unsuccessful however, as droplets began to eek out of the corners of her mouth.

You finally let her off of your dick, but instead of gasping for air or getting mad at you, you were treated to another show. She opened her mouth much the same way she did before you fucked it mercilessly, showing you all of your seed she had accumulated in her mouth. You couldn’t help but bite your lip at the sight. Nagyung closed her mouth and swallowed it all in one go. Another open mouth, another “aaaa”, and her promise was fulfilled. She took the liberty to lick whatever she couldn’t keep clean off of you, before giving you a smile for a job well done. “That was fucking amazing.” You sheepishly commented, to which she gave a cute little chuckle, the corner of her mouth turning upwards. “Hehe, I know.” She winked back at you. She climbed out from under the desk, tucking your now half flaccid dick back into your pants, before taking her rightful place back in your lap. Truth be told, you expected her to have sent you back to where you came from by now. Instead, she took your hand one last time for today and guided it in between her thighs, underneath her pants. You could feel how warm and wet she was from playing with herself, your half-mast flying back to full force in response. “I’ll bring a blanket next time so you can fuck me while I’m on your lap. Sounds good, oppa?” She playfully suggested, her aegyo overloading your senses. “I’ll see you tomorrow for some more help! I want to tell Chaeyoung I got into gold before her!” It was never easy making these kinds of decisions, but today wasn’t going to be your last day at this PC bang after all.

[kalpeavaris]

MD: Echo Info Post #1 (Character Edition)

So I reblogged this image about wanting to (over) share about OCs... and then I got a mysterious message telling me to speak about my OCs... 👀(*cough* @inkyprince I said I'd tag you hehe *cough*)

So I've decided to just do it, lmao. I love sharing stuff about my OCs, stories and whatnot and this is my blog, imma do what I want!

Gotta lay out some trivia & information about my Murder Drones AU, Echo! Wether it be characters or concepts, because maybe it'll get some people interested :D All of the info is below the cut, and for the first iteration of this I've chosen Kira, aka "ZWEI", for this!

Kira - "ZWEI" - White Witch

A lot of her information can also be viewed on her ToyHouse Profile (logged in user only, sorry!)

Playlist - Pinterest - Voice Claim - Theme Song

Content Warnings: Mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts (non-explicit), chronic (terminal) illness (in... robot-terms?)

(older art, but it does the trick lmao)

Kira was one of the Drones that were tested and infected with the Absolute Solver code back in the 3040s and 50s in the Cabin Fever Lab Cathedral with her number being 24.

As a Communication Drone the Solver's abilities affected her in a different way than her fellow Worker Drones, causing the humans to become aware of certain powers that she exhibited which weren't displayed in other Drones.

Her "exorcism" (or, well, patch) was botched as Kira's OS wasn't capable of adapting to the patch version, causing it to corrupt and allow for a vunerability that lead to Echo (a mutated version of the AS) planting it's own code inside of Kira's, which jump-started Echo's influence on Communication Drones.

Kira's Solver is always active - that's why her eye doesn't return to normal and only ever displays the emblem. She overheats extremely easily all the time and is prone to physical pain and tinnitus due to her being unable to block out inbound signals if she picks them up.

This has her health deteriorating quickly over the course of the MD: Echo story, slowly succumbing from it, though she keeps on pushing forward to stop ECHO and it's hosts. She needs actual medication to keep the pain at bay and constantly consumes Oil at a high rate to stop overheating. If her Solver was to deactivate she'd most likely pass away within a few days.

Her secondary name, "ZWEI" means "Two" (or could also be interpreted as "the second") in German. It is a reference to her part in the story, as well as her connection to ECHO. (won't be spoilered for now 8D) She associates alot of trauma with it and doesn't like being referred by it.

Personality wise Kira seems fairly withdrawn from everyone around her except her friends and partner/family. If she's in a good headspace she's fairly open and confident, almost fierce in the way she appears to others. Kira's keen on keeping up a strong facade to not show strangers her weaknesses or true condition.

"But what are Communication Drones?"

I'm glad you asked! Communication Drones look like normal Workers, though the one thing that sets them apart are the two antennas on their head which can vary in size & style depending on their desired function (short-range, long-range, ground signals, air signals etc.)

These antennas function as ears for them, so if they're removed, their hearing is damaged (not entirely deaf, but definitely worsened). So if a "normal" CD loses their antennas they're having a harder time adapting as their intake of sound is greatly reduced.

As an AS user/host, Kira's able to pick up on stronger signals from far away or even sending out signals to stun/manipulate others around her in a short radius. This effect doesn't stay though, it'll wear off over time and actively consume energy from the Drone using it.

Disassembly Drones can also have the subtype of a Communication Drone as shown in the sketch below (left DD) - their antennas are usually shorter and made for short-range and aerial signals as they're capable of flight, too.

(I almost made them a polycule not going to lie they all hot as fuck) wish that was me-)

--

(Kira on her way to cast 'gun, prepare to meet god' in the face of a fucking angel-robot-AI that believes to be god itself)

Kira plays a big part in the MD: Echo universe next to some minor characters & canon characters. Her main motivation is to help stop Echo, as it also tries to infect her via the unstable Solver code in her OS.

--

Crucifix Symbolism

(the power of christ compels you!)

Something very important to Kira is her botched patch / "exorcism". She's obsessed with crucifix looking symbolism which continues to haunt her almost 30 years later during MD: Echo's timeline.

She's desperate to break free from this, but cannot help herself. She compulsively collects cross-shaped imagery and in the first few months after her escape from the Lab she actively built crosses from all sorts of materials.

It's mainly coming from her OS being overwhelmed by the botched patch and the crucifix imagery of the USB burning itself in her memory files as some sort of "salvation" she has yet to achieve. Luckily, this started to fade out over the years, especially after meeting T who helped her to overcome the trauma of the incident.

--

(CW: Mentions of Self-Harm)

After being infected by the Absolute Solver, Kira desperatly tried more than once to remove her antennas to keep the voices from appearing. It talked to her from the inside, but she didn't realize this yet. Like almost all other AS Users however she kept on regenerating, unable to escape the inner turmoil of the Solver's possession and Echo trying to get inside of her OS as well.

--

Effects of the AS on her psyche

(holy shit have you ever seen a centipede that big? what is this? australia?)

Haunted by visions of the Solver, it's communications with the other Drones and later on the landing pods of the Disassembly Drones Kira had a hard time to tune out these visions she got from time to time. Similar to Nori in that regard Kira wrote everything down she heard through these intercepted signals, amassing hundreds of pages of logs she was able to get.

--

Meeting her partner

("Girl I swear I have normal hands too don't be distracted by my sexy claws")

In the 3060s, she stumbled upon one of the Disassembly Drone squads outside of the colony's Outpost she was seeking shelter in. She had intercepted their landing pods signals and was "curious" to seek out whoever had arrived, trying to solve the mystery of whatever the Solver had her experience.

That's when she found Serial Designation T - the navigator of the squad, who at first attempted to kill her like he'd been tasked to do. After all, Kira was a Solver Host that couldn't be fully mind-controlled anymore. But in the middle of him attacking her T's code was halted by Cyn herself, deactivating his executive task to kill the Host he had infront of him. He himself didn't know why exactly the Solver did this, but in hindsight it was due to the fact that Kira was still able to be of use to it later on.

(POV: you deleted system32 from your PC because some random kid on roblox told you to)

Now neutral, T got curious about Kira whom he tried to speak to with her Kira (driven by curiosity on why he had stopped being aggressive all of a sudden, being able to intercept the communication he had with Cyn) staying to talk to him.

Over the following weeks the two grew acustomed with each other, slowly building a friendship that later on evolved into a more romantic nature. Kira hid him in the Outpost and brought in food for the two of them as she constantly needed oil as well.

[idrellegames]

As an IF author that does this with a "this is my job" mindset I find it hard to do other things in my day to day because whenever I pick up my phone I feel like I am at work and I feel like I constantly think about my story.

Do you have any tips or advice on how to separate myself from my work and stop thinking about it 24/7?

Thank you!

Having a clear division between work and regular life is really important. I think it can be a little harder to do if developing an IF isn't your full-time gig. If you're working a job or are in school and you're packing IF development on top of it, then it can get really tricky to balance.

I also think that if you're working on a large, long-term project, it's a good and normal part of the writing process to think a lot about your story. Not all writing is done when you are actively writing. Daydreaming about your characters and your story lets you work out different kinks and make new discoveries.

So, you have a couple of choices here. You can reframe IF as your hobby, the thing you do in your free time for fun. Take away the pressure of thinking about it like work. You can pick away at it when the mood strikes, write on your own terms, and if you stop having fun with it, it's okay to slam on the breaks and put it aside until you're ready to come back to it.

But if you want to continue treating it as work or if it is already is your job, then you need to set some boundaries for yourself. This is going to be different for everyone; what works for me might not necessarily work for you. But here are a few things you can try:

Set a schedule. Try to contain the times when you are actively working on your project to within certain regular hours. Set different times for different parts of your job. For example, I only do social media management (tumblr inbox and notifications, Patreon, email, itch etc) during the first couple hours of my morning and then the rest of my work day is for writing and/or coding. I don't get through everything, but it's okay. It's really important for online creators not to fall into the trap of feeling like they have to answer everyone immediately, otherwise you will not get anything done.

If you manage social media for your IF, have separate accounts for your personal stuff and work stuff. I have two tumblr accounts, one that manages this sideblog and the other for personal fandom things. Logging out of my work account and into my personal one means that I'm not seeing notifications from this blog and I'm not tracking Wayfarer stuff. It really helps me keep work as work and downtime as downtime.

Separate your work and downtime spaces. Sometimes it's just as simple as working in one room and relaxing in another. This can be a bit tricky if you only have one device that you work from. I have a PC so I can't move it around, so if I'm using it to game later I try to change up my space (by getting a different chair or changing something else about my set up) so I have some kind of physical difference to trick my brain into going from "work mode" to "relax mode". Sometimes I have to get out of my office entirely in order to get that sense of separation, otherwise I feel like I am constantly at work.

If you're on your phone a lot and you don't really use it to make your IF or have alternatives for writing, get rid of the apps that put you in a work headspace. I got rid of the tumblr mobile app a couple years ago and it was probably the best decision in terms of actually keeping me out of work mode.

Take time off. Give yourself a weekend. Pursue other hobbies, play other games, write things other than your IF. IFs take a very long time to make, you can't go at it 24/7 or you will burn out.

[mecachrome]

probably very out of context, but how do you get into the nhl fandom? before i got interested in f1 i was looking for what sport to watch (other than football) and i wanted to go there because a few years ago it became a popular topic in m/m romance books (which i read a lot at the time, now i mostly read fics xd) and i found… nothing, i mean, on twt there didn't seem to be a community, i didn't see people interacting about the players, and there weren't high numbers in the posts either, i found a bit of the same thing here on tumblr and other apps, probably it's more popular on tiktok which is what is used the most? the thing is, in the end i couldn't get interested because i didn't understand anything and i ended up watching formula 1 thanks to the noise made by the stans of other fandoms that migrated there lmao

LOL anon a lot of the things you mention here that you considered to be barriers of entry are honestly a great overview of why user-restriction is more commonly practiced in the hockey archives...!

anyway i actually did some sports fandom analysis last year and i really think a large part of it is >nhl fandom is much more accessible to people in na and >football fandom is a lot more accessible to people in europe... for me personally, i've spent Most of my life in places with local hockey teams + part of my family is from a classic market so getting into hockey as a sport was like a pretty natural thing, and i loooveee going to hockey games and actually watching the sport—plus it's way cheaper, if you're in a shitty market with a shitty team you can go to one game and see the players all up close during warmies for like $20 vs. $1283749492347 to go to an f1 race. that being said though, there are definitely people from all over the world who are into the nhl and i do think it's really easy to get into! i've actually seen a lot of f1 fans migrate to hockey recently and i'd argue that it's a lot more public/mimics f1 fandom culture on twitter now (for better or worse haha) if you ever want to get back into it... i'd also say that there's lots of fic to read as well, but admittedly if you were only trying to consume hockey during the height of its like booktok surge, it probably wasn't the same landscape i was working with when i first started reading hockey fic 11 years ago. the thing is that BACK_IN_THE_DAY, hockey WAS the top-producing sports fandom on ao3, so it was super easy to invest in current narratives without feeling like you were part of some tiny grassroots community (ok exaggerated on my part but i'll get to this in a bit lol)... honestly if you just sort by kudos on ao3 while logged in there's plenty of old classics that are fun to read even if you don't understand everything! see an old graph i made below:

anyway 1) i truly think hockey is the best sport ever like as an actual sport in terms of Sportish Entertainment (forgetting the rpf for a second) and you can learn it pretty easily just by watching with a good commentator! hockey isn't like f1 where you watch a race with everyone on the grid, so that's why as an overall fandom it's more quiet and it helps to pick One (1) team you're interested in getting into and just watching their games and not worrying about the rest of the league for the moment.

for ex i'm primarily a dallas stars fan, and my main hockey blog 39oa is entirely meant for them, and they're the only team i watch All 82 Games For. i also have montembeault for other teams i like (mainly habs/nux) but i don't really update it that much anymore...

2) hockey rpf has definitely had phases with strong formative ships and the problem with it currently is that there's kind of a dearth of like active, marketable material to work with... at its peak and during the early ao3 days there was sidgeno, ship i won't name, bennguin (in some ways we still have 2 of these but it's not like at the same level of course), nickovi, i mean i could go on... tragic kings yaoi... and then the 2015 draft class revitalized things majorly (this is when i got into hockey rpf properly lol i peddled mcstromarner when they were still in juniors so hard... not many people know this) and a lot of rpf for the following years depended on them, and then of course we had the Summer of tknp which is what REALLY got things going again..... but that ship is functionally over and there's also a really prominent rivalry ship that has much less pull now that they're not actually on rival teams lol and then another ship that had rookie and_they_were_roommates narratives got separated so now it's like WHAT IS THERE TO SHIP!!! and i mean hockey is SO spread out truly, i actually have another old stats post about degrees of separation in hockey shipping but anyway... nowadays there is actually a Hawt New yaoi ship that kind of models jdtz (rookie rommates) that many people are into! so that's a fun place to start if you want to try somewhere trendy. i'm 100% sure if you sought out sharks fans on twitter in like a fandomy environment you could do so pretty easily...

3) i think part of it as you said is that hockey is a much smaller community, especially when you're interacting in the subfandoms for each individual team. some teams have HUGE markets on an IRL fandom level (canadian teams like toronto and montreal for example), but my team's being from dallas where the primary sport is american football means it has an absolutely tragic amount of news coverage and no one really cares about them much. the #southernbias in hockey is so strong 💔 and then on top of that even teams with big irl fandoms might not really have the equivalent attention on tumblr because it also depends on whether they have compelling yaoi to keep the fujos interested......... but to ME that's also beautiful because even if your team's fandom is just 10 people liveblogging and making gifsets with 40 notes, it's a special sense of community and the wank/drama levels are like insanely lower, and there's more of a sense of We're in this watching sports together than like We're all going to be really mad at everything and argue about team orders all day even though the race ended 5 months ago 🥲 yes the fic outputs will be much slower than you might like but that's what i mean by the grassroots feel haha like there's really a sense of support for the fandom creativity!!! f1 can kind of feel lonely sometimes because there's so many people but they're all silent lurkers/likers :'(

also playoffs hockey will change your life. so you gotta stick around until april!!!!!!!! that's all i've got...

[phati-sari]

hello!

just wanted to thank you for your blog and the years you have dedicated to it. I remember first finding this blog at the beginning of my university, which, for various reasons, was a very formative and scary time for me (as I’m sure it was for many others!). However, this show and blog by extension offered solace to me during that time and made it easier because I knew no matter what happened, I still had this waiting for me. Which, in retrospect, was probably not the healthiest attachment to have haha.

Eventually, life carried on and I adjusted. I no longer had the time for the show and everything that went along with it, but I never forgot it. Weirdly, every time I would think about re-watching, it would remind me of that time of my life (at least the beginning) and make my stomach churn so, I couldn’t pick it up for years.

I don’t exactly know why I’m telling you all of this but I have started to rewatch it and I just wanted to thank you for the years of posts you have made, they have truly been a delight to read. <3 I know some people have been relentless and unappreciative, so I wanted to share this with you and thank you sincerely. The internet is a cesspool sometimes but I’m glad people like you exist in its crevices. :-) I hope all is well with you!

Hello!

Thank you for reaching out!!

You know what? You've perfectly described something I have been feeling ... but didn't know I was feeling.

The blog is my safe space, I began it when I was depressed and it sort of maps out my recovery. The years where I was less active were actually good years for me -- I didn't need it anymore.

Returning post my divorce has been difficult, and I am just now realising it's because the blog reminds me of this other time. I read past posts and there are all things about how much I love my husband and how happy I am in my marriage. And while those feelings were absolutely true at the time, it makes my stomach churn when I come across those posts.

Also, perfectly innocent questions sometimes upset me because they remind me of my ex-husband helping me write the original responses. I avoid my stories because he always read everything before it was published and helped me edit. It's a whole thing.

I didn't even realise until I read your message. So thank you! As odd as this may sound, it's helped me understand why I resent the blog sometimes, why I don't want to log in and why it no longer functions as my happy place as it once did.

I am so glad the blog was there for you when you needed it. I am grateful for the community that's been here for me when I've needed it. Thank you so much for reaching out. It is not the easiest thing to do.

[mupfinsmiley]

January 1st, 2024 - Log/100 Days of Productivity

Damn, I have not been on tumblr in a long time. But the urge to jump back on here has been growing stronger recently. So here I am, blogging once more.

I remember doing regular 100 Days of Productivity Challenges on here. I think I should pick that back up. I've been in a slump for a while and reconnecting with a community could help.

So here's my first log for Januar 1st 2024.

Not much has happened today. I am still feeling a little hungover and foggy from New Years Eve. I did not celebrate. I am not big on that holiday in particularly. I remember when I was younger I used to really enjoy it but now it seems so unnecessary. Just a day before a day and a day.

I honestly do not like how people celebrate here either. Fireworks are widely available and are being bought up by idiots to then be as noisy as possible. To make the air unbreathable. Pregnant with the pungent smell of smoke and sulfur. As if they were trying too hard to make themselves noticeable. This one day they think, is their day. The one were they let lose ...

Unless... That is obviously not true. People look for any way and any excuse to "let lose". To not feel responsible for their actions.

And honestly I can see why. Sometimes I wish I were the kind of person who could just let go and see where that leads me.

I can't say that i have set any New Year's resolutions ... Honestly, I don't believe in them. I'd like to think that you can improve your life any day. But I don't judge those who do. You do you. I guess I want to write more. Take care of myself more. Do things I love more. Be more active. But those are barely New Years resolutions. Just things I have not done in a long time.

So what did I actually do today? Not a lot. I cleaned a bit, unpacked my suitcase. Took a shower way to late in the day. I tried to get up early but failed. That bothers me. It seemed a lot easier a longer time ago. I tried to sleep early, too, yet the fireworks kept me up. I guess I can add better sleep to the list of Non New Years resolutions.

I edited some videos for work and I crocheted my first square for my temperature blanket. I made a post where I shared that. And I think I'll share a more general post on what that is and what I'll do with mine.

But that's pretty much it. Still a lot of drowsy procrastination. But I guess, we all start somewhere.

[rikyos]

𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐈-𝐇𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐄 now that i have the group set up to share my multi between kazuha and aventurine's blogs, i'll probably be logging out of kazuha for a while. this is not to say that my activity will change drastically ( i've always written sporadically, if and when i feel like it ) but just that i won't default to being here anymore. i am not dropping kazuha. i'll always adore him. but i need to admit that i've been feeling uncomfortable on this blog for various reasons for a while now, and my patience for genpact is dwindling while hsr is really just ... holding my interest much better. i'm working a lot and uni will be picking up in pace again soon, so i don't think i want to spend the free time i have forcing myself to try and be here when other muses are sparking joy ♡ it's not a total drop of kazuha as a muse, but i don't feel like there's a huge amount of interest in interacting with him either, so for the time being i'll probably be hanging out on @stagehunt and my albedo blog when i get around to setting that up. if you actually read all of this, ily !!!!

[liskantope]

Just checking, you're still alive, right? I really hope so!

Haha thanks for your concern and the wellness check! The funny thing is, this being the start of the first weekend in a while that isn't totally packed, I was actually going to log on today and write a brief post about how I've gotten too busy this semester to even go on Tumblr to read other people's posts all that much let alone write here myself and it sucks (in an "I'm temporarily too busy and stressed but it should ease up mid-December" way, nothing devastating to my life or anything). Also, if you happen to be Tumblr user zukoiscrazy, it's even funnier because one of things I was going to do today is send you an ask related to the now-much-too-close-in-more-senses-than-one election.

It's been 20 days of no posting activity... I guess that's fairly close to a record for me!

Seriously, it's been one thing after another since this semester started (not just my actual job but my now-annual task of applying to dozens of jobs throughout the fall), and I miss Tumblr. Because I'm so preoccupied, I have like 40% fewer Tumblr-post-worthy thoughts than I usually have, but that's still some and I just haven't found the time to log on and get them down in writing, or even to log on and read many other people's posts. (I'm always slowly beating back a relentless line of open tabs of Scott's and Ozy's and Freddie's blog posts as well as I have a hard time finding time to read them.) What's most aggravating of all is that at the moment everything accelerated for me, I was caught in the middle of conversations and intended follow-ups/reblogs and unanswered asks and so on. I'm going to try to pick up at least a couple of the pieces this weekend; we'll see.

[boundlss]

what ( who ) was your first muse?

we do not want to dig up my extensive pre-tumblr roleplay history so for my own sanity we're going to limit this to muses i've written on tumblr hahaha...

my actual first muse was koichi haimawari from bnha: vigilantes, which i've talked about some time before. i had ran a few of those sketch-answer askblogs before but his blog was the first i ever properly used for rp and it was a mess hahaha. all my icons were just cropped from the manga and differently sized and i didn't know how to cut posts because i was on mobile ... i think that blog probably still exists but i'm not going to dig for it. i'd be too embarrassed.

but! in the case of muses i still rp today ... chronologically, i first started writing shirogane kei from log horizon! i picked him up actually only a couple months after koichi, and he had his own blog for a little while. a lot of people think my first still-active muse is twain over on antisatiric but he'd actually be second after shiroe. nobody ever really interacted with that blog though.

( actually, i wrote lee seung-gil from yuri on ice before i ever properly wrote shiroe too, but that was off tumblr so we won't talk about that either ).

munday! / accepting.

[marzipan-memories]

Alrighty~, in a way this post feels slightly overdue, but-- seeing as i have plans for a few of the blogs listed over on my blog roll, i thought it might be fitting to post a status page of sorts-- at least until i'm able to update some things over on the sorting blog for them. And with that said, please check below the cut for the blog list and their status~♡

{𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆}

@take-ya-to-the-ghey-bar

{𝒔𝒆𝒎𝒊 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆}

@rain-filled-garden

{𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒕𝒚}

@virtualized-vocalists

@marionnettiste-de-la-mort -⋄- Muse has been partly rehomed to rain-filled-garden, and as such the fate of this blog is currently undecided

{𝒉𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒔}

@muddled-ambiguum -⋄- Currently awaiting the translation/publication of more source material, so as to gain a better understanding of the muse before i endeavor to actually write them

@burlesque-grin -⋄- Blog is currently in the midst of a revamp, with plans to resume at least low amounts of activity once said revamp is complete~

@tenrai-no-ame -⋄- Muse levels are currently below the basement-- however, if i reread the series sometime soon and can boost muse, then hopefully low levels of activity might resume--

@eques-vitreum -⋄- I currently have no muse to write here, but-- given my love for the series, i'd like to perhaps pick up at least a little activity here again at some point

@blank-among-fairytales -⋄- I also currently has no muse to write here, along with low interest in the fandom-- however, given that i do still rather enjoy the muse i've made here-- then i may attempt a slight return someday

{𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔}

lykofxs -⋄- Major wip as i still need to brainstorm ideas for my portrayal here, however, which although it's proving to be slow work-- i have no plans to abandon the prospect~

fumei-no-yasoku -⋄- Major wip, however seeing i'm currently revisiting the series-- i have hopes to brainstorm portrayal ideas, and finish constructing the blog at somewhat soon~

saihate-no-l -⋄- Semi-major wip, information is somewhat compete-- but i need to revisit source materials before i can refresh on my portrayal and interpretation ideas before i can resume construction work

re-miau-kable -⋄- Same situation as the blog above, although the information is in need of a share more work-- seeing as i've got less of it completed

{𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓}

These blogs have largely all been lost to the ether, thanks to my (not so great) past management of log in info-- and my plans of what to do with them, are shall be detailed below

kumori-no-hakuchuumu -⋄- May attempt future recovery and update of the email address/other log in, and if that fails, i may just remake the blog from scratch-- or i may just skip straight to the latter, if i deem it easier

@hushed-court -⋄- May attempt future recovery and update of the email address/other log in-- but more than likely, i'll just remake the blog as a side blog connected to burlesque-grin

@quietly-blooming -⋄- Side blog which was connected to another blog listed here-- i have little plans to remake it, however, unless a revisit to source material sparks the urge

@utautai-no-neko -⋄- I think i'd like to remake this blog someday, assuming i can't recall/recover the email used for it-- although that idea will be saved for a time after i'm able to fresh on the source material

@graceful-days -⋄- I plan to remake this blog, assuming i'm unable to recover the email, once i've made a revisit to the source material (and played new parts of it i've yet to see)

lunar-zenith -⋄- A work in progress that was halted thanks to email loss, I plan to remake this blog, once i've made a revisit to the source material (and played new parts of it i've yet to see)

wanderer-of-fates -⋄- Same story and plan of action as the above~

enigmatic-ailurophilist -⋄- Same story and plan of action as the above~

@nox-occupat-corvo -⋄- I have little plan to try and recover or remake this blog, which may possibly change in the future-- but for now, i haven't the desire to try and pick this muse up again

@social-null -⋄- Mainly the same story as above, although my desire to try and pick this muse up again may be even lower--

[svdaily]

So the guy that cheated on the girlfriend with me blocked me after she found out and broke up with him and our last conversation was him calling me while he was on the way to the girlfriends and I was like “what...you have a girlfriend” and he goes “you had a dating app” like what? How is that even the same? Anyway, yesterday he was supposedly was getting lots of no ID calls he thought it was me unblocked me, and kept calling me, I answered the first time and I was like hi need to call you back and he goes what’re you doing why and i didn’t answer and he goes what’re you doing and then hung up on him...then he kept calling and said over text “you stop fucking calling me G shit leave me alone” and I was like ??? And he goes “don’t fucking call me I’m telling you to stop” and I was so confused because I never called him...I was like “YOU CALLED ME” and then he sends a screen shot of his call log and was like “don’t be fucking stupid stop calling me I’m blocking you again.” And I was like “lmaoo I did not that’s so funny” then he sends a “👍” and I was like “you’re a loser” then he keeps calling me like 2 times I kept declining then I texted him “stop calling me lol” then he goes “blocked, stop calling through fake numbers” and I was like “I haven’t called you once...maybe it was your GIRLFRIEND or a baby mama lol” (idk if he has a baby mama I’m assuming because I didn’t know he had a girlfriend or has cheated before like the girlfriend told me...) then he goes “blocked.bye.” And I was like “I’m DEAD” and then he blocks me...I just don’t understand why he doesn’t want to apologize or talk if I was seeing him just last week? His girlfriend even told me that broke up....he would always come back before even after blocking me after 2 weeks

HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU

At all. Keeping a dating app is not explicitly infidelity, but the first strike was him likening that to his outright two-timing (or more actually. Ew).

Closure is not worth your sanity. If he didn't feel you needed to know going in that you weren't his only partner, then you don't need to dig for reasons why. His sorry will not erase his bs. He's just a bum.

It must hurt and you must have been invested but BLOCK HIM. For good. If you're on my blog then you are a high value woman (/he/they) who's striving to get the treatment I post about so no, we're not entertaining any less than that.

Assume the worst. He's a loser, a liar, a cheater and can't even be honest about it. You're selling yourself short and major 🚩 that he's blocked you before and y'all just picked up where you left off.

Move on and DEMAND better next time. We can't help who f*cks us over but we can help who we let get away with it.

P. s 💕 If you were active, get a health check immediately.

[sshbpodcast]

That’s what I call brain freeze: Cryostasis in Star Trek

By Ames

We’re due for our coolest blog activity yet! That’s right, we’re talking cryofreezing this week, the easy way for writers to freeze time for characters, so long spans of time go by in a snap! We see it in pretty much everything, from Alien to Aliens. On Star Trek, going into stasis can allow for people from the past to make it to the future, pause the spread of whatever ails you while your doctor logs into WebMD, and make long-distance travel without warp something survivable for someone with a normal human lifespan.

A Star to Steer Her By is digging into the freezer for some frozen snacks, so make sure to check out everything we’ve got defrosting on the counter below and listen to this week’s podcast chatter (frosty discussion starts at 1:07:29). 

I’ll say this up front as well: I wasn’t expecting to have to include a minor spoiler for season three Picard after literally the first episode, but here we are.

Cool off!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

“Space Seed”

The villain Khan is just too much for Earth of the past, so he becomes the future’s problem when he flash freezes himself and his augmented followers. The episode in which we first see cryostasis in Trek also paved the way for one of the most popular movies in the franchise, so we’re glad that the plot device opened up the possibility of dragging people into the future. For now.

“The Neutral Zone”

...and I’ve already eaten those words. The three frozen folks from this episode are mainly here to make fish-out-of-water jokes. They don’t understand that stocks and bonds don’t exist in the future. Isn’t that funny? Sure, some of the scenes with an overwhelmed Clare Raymond are a little more intimate and thought-provoking, but this whole episode was just unfocused and tiresome.

“The Emissary”

We all loved K'Ehleyr so much (see how much here!) that it’s easy to forget the rest of the episode in which she was introduced. You’ll remember that a ship of Klingons, all in stasis, is about to get their wakeup call and someone needs to be on hand to make sure they don’t attack the Federation since they’re pretty behind on the news. And who better than our girl K’Ehleyr? Worf helped too, I guess.

“The Perfect Mate”

Sometimes, your mail-order bride comes in a well-preserved package. In the generally squicky “The Perfect Mate,” Kamala is being kept in her little cocoon in the cargo hold until pesky Ferengi accidentally break it open earlier than it’s supposed to be opened. Why did the cocoon need to float in the air where it could easily be knocked down? Hey shut up, the episode needed to move forward.

“Relics”

Do we count being stored in the transporter buffer as an equivalent to being in stasis? Well, “Relics” is on this list, so yes, yes we do. It’s actually a really ingenious plan to effectively freeze yourself using the transporter, even if it seems to only be effective 50% of the time, that we’re frequently flabbergasted that we don’t see it used more often in Trek. You’ll see it a couple more times on this list though.

“Face of the Enemy”

Like in “The Emissary,” it may be easy to forget that the driving force of “Face of the Enemy” is cryo-related, but we get too distracted by watching Marina Sirtis actually getting something really great to do for a change. But the main thrust of the episode is about transporting Romulan defectors out of Romulan space, and that’s achieved by putting them in cryo and moving them around like luggage. Go Troi!

“Vortex”

This mostly forgettable episode from early DS9 also had a mostly forgettable cryo scene. Croden’s daughter is being stored in stasis on some rock or other so that he can go pick her up when he’s escaped his shitty, shitty government. It’s a rather small inclusion, but as we’ve said before: when you’ve got this technology, you might as well use it!

“The Abandoned”

This one’s just a tiny little inclusion in an episode that veers hard in another direction once the sleeping pod element is done with. After Quark buys up a whole bunch of products and he’s started sorting through his wares, he discovers a small pod containing what turns out to be a Jem’Hadar baby. Why was he being transported in a cryochamber? The better question is: why not transport ALL babies in a cryochamber?

“Empok Nor”

We see a lot of “The Emissary” in this horror episode of DS9, especially in that “if someone wakes up, they might wreak some havoc on us” kind of way. In this case, it’s a couple of drugged-out Cardassians that have awakened from their slumber on the space station Empok Nor and the episode turns a little into Jason X: The One in Space. Which we should totally cover on the podcast one day.

“The 37s”

Boy, did we have a lot of shitty things to say about “The 37s” when we wrapped season two of Voyager, and so much of it is because of the very forced and highly unnecessary cryochamber plot. There was already too much going on in this episode, and adding unfreezing Amelia Freaking Earhart to the mix was not only convoluted, but just agonizingly bad as well. Let the poor thing rest in peace.

“The Thaw”

We talked more about this one when we discussed dreams the other week, but it has the added bonus of being a cryosleep episode as well! Like many gimmicks in which the idea is for the characters to get woken up from cryo at an appointed time, something goes terribly wrong for the sleepers and they get stuck in their worst nightmares: dreaming of clowns and not being able to wake up.

“Resolutions”

This is another brief scene, but we do get a moment at the very top when we’re dropped in in media res to see Chakotay and Janeway waking up in their pods on some paradisiacal planet. They were only in there briefly to be transported to the surface without dying of their incurable illness (score one more cross promotion to our diseases post), and then we never see the pods again.

“One”

One of our favorite Seven of Nine episodes so far has been “One” and there’s so much cryostasis that I’m feeling a little freezer burned just thinking about it. It’s such a good premise: the whole crew needs to go into cryo because they can’t survive a span of deadly nebula or other, so Seven has to pilot her sleeping crewmates to the other side without succumbing to cabin fever! Excellent!

“Counterpoint”

Well, we included “Relics” on this list because being stored in the transporter buffer is akin to being stored in a cryopod, so here we are doing it again with “Counterpoint.” Seriously, they really don’t use this technique often enough in Star Trek, but since the telepaths kept in the buffer start to suffer from cell degradation from constant use, maybe that’s a good enough reason.

“11:59”

One of the good things about this otherwise deplorable episode was the story we get from Harry Kim about his uncle Jack. The account goes that Jack was on a sleeper ship (we really don’t see enough of those!) back before space travel was quite so fast, awoke at their destination to find nothing there, so he turned the ship around and went home again. It’s quite a cute and funny little anecdote!

“Dragon’s Teeth”

The episode we covered on the podcast this week hit a lot of the same beats as previous instances from this list. A warlike race gets woken up from their slumber only to try to take over the ship, a la “Space Seed.” Their pods had been scheduled to wake them and failed like in “The Thaw.” And we had nearly no motivation to open the pods in the first place, as has happened a whole bunch!

“Precious Cargo”

An even more egregious retread comes in Enterprise when they basically try to redo the super cringe TNG episode “The Perfect Mate” that you just scrolled past, and somehow continue to be fairly cringe. Same deal: a gorgeous Kriosian woman is being transported while in stasis. Her pod gets damaged and she wakes up and eventually falls for the hunkiest guy in reach. We’ve done all this before.

Into Darkness

Since Into Darkness is just “Space Seed” / The Wrath of Khan but with more lens flare, the movie obviously has to use the cryostasis plot device since it would actually be more trouble NOT to include it and anger the fans [more]. But finding Khan’s crew in cryo inside torpedoes is at least a good touch, and the chilly resolution to the film is somehow kinder than stranding him on Ceti Alpha V.

Rukiya’s story arc

One last one that’s from the transporter buffer loophole that we’ve decided we’re using for this list, but it’s also a really good and quite sweet characterization for Doctor Mbenga to put his daughter into stasis to prolong her life. We ask every so often on the podcast why the medical staff doesn’t put patients in cryo all the time, and it took until Strange New Worlds to really make good use of it.

“Preludes”

Learning Jankom Pog’s backstory in this Prodigy episode really helped shed light on his character in a way that we didn’t realize we needed so badly. It’s a fascinating addition – especially for a kids show! – to have this Tellarite be a blast from the past who awoke accidentally from cryo to find he needed to maintain the ship. And it’s crushing to see him get no credit for it!

“The Next Generation”

Literally right after we recorded this week’s episode, the season three premiere of Picard came along to taunt me. It too contains a scene related to cryostasis. We don’t know much yet about what’s going to come about from this turn of events since, at the time I’m writing this, dear Doctor Crusher has just entered the deep freeze, so watch along with us to see what happens, I guess!

 —

Let’s get you thawed out so you can enjoy more blogtivities! You should also be keeping up with our watch-through of Voyager on SoundCloud or whatever your podcast application of choice is, hanging out with us on Facebook and Twitter, and just generally chilling out.

[thegreatninjablu]

So with the end of tiktok and my inability to like how Instagram works I think I'm going to pick up Tumblr again for social media posting.

I'm trying to be better about cosplay documentation and have my first Cosplay Guest spot at a little Middle School con this February. I'll be wearing my Twilight Princess Link I posted here that I redid for Metrocon 2021. (It won Best Technical in the cosplay competition)

Besides that- I've been going back and forth about posting my efforts to work on my mental health... now that I'm actually diagnosed and not just guessing and taking antidepressants.

There's so much that has happened in this past year.

I started ADHD medication, and it actually helps control my emotions better as well as my focus. I'm starting to see my patterns of behavior better, especially in the PTSD category, though it's still really hard to catch them in the moment.

I work at a stable job in the industry I actually studied and have learned how to use industrial sewing machines.

I got in my first car accident (it was just a side scrape and my van was very old so it wasn't a huge deal) which led to getting a new car cause the old one gave out.

I started questioning if I'm Poly or Mono and started going to a poly meetup full of cool people. (I'm going on a valentine's day cruise with the group that I'mreally excited for)

I got a credit card and have been actively working on my credit.

In the past month I got out of my mom's house, away from my family and am now coming to terms with...a lot.

That my mom wasn't "cool" she was neglectful.

That despite my grandparents being nice to me, they think being trans or gay is unnatural.

That the years of trying to get enough money to get out by staying in a "stable" housing situation did a lot more damage emotionally than I thought.

Having my mental health struggles be largely grounded in well-intentioned gaslighting as opposed to actual physical abuse of my childhood feels like all I come from is abuse and that feels sad.

I keep wanting to blog about it or make videos and share what my perspective is, but I also feel like who cares anyway? My perspective is unique to me, but is there really any value in sharing it? There's tons of stories about healing from trauma and finding yourself, so why do I want to share mine so bad? Why do I want an audience? Why do I have this urge to exist publicly when I know it's dangerous, especially right now being in Florida?

I've felt weird for so long but actually, I am not really all that weird, and I don't know how to feel about that revelation even though I've known it logically for a log time. My personality, who I felt I was, was so wrapped up in the idea that I'm just strange and don't fit in anywhere that the idea of possibly being average feels like being lost.

This post is a little rambly, but I guess I just need to get it all out. All of the things happening feel intense- but also not bad. I have to sit with the discomfort and keep working on creating a community for myself, and that's hard but I know it's worth it even though I won't like it the whole time.

Someone I worked with at Enchant told me, "The only way out is through" and I find myself telling myself that more and more lately.

[innerbirdgarden]

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[ghostlytalkin]

Really upset that I have to log into this account after leaving it and saying I was going to take a step back from rpt world due to how toxic I got myself swept into things. But I'm having people message me on my discord about things being said.

First and foremost, I have distanced myself from those I considered core friends, being that I know I caused hurt and they deserve the distance from me, so I made that possible. I have backed away from my friendships, and we're not talking right now. I dont know if I'll be ready to talk to them for a long time because I have felt ashamed for things. I devalued our friendships and I backed away to give us all space.

Blaming them for MY actions is wrong because I am the only one to blame. They all tried talking to me about their concerns and I ignored them and I know I did. I got too obsessed in people wanting to bring me stuff and it was unhealthy. And worse i let myself become a person i shouldn't have been. I can acknowledge that people have issues with me and I fucked up royally. I am a constant work in progress. It's a topic with my therapist, psychiatrist, and group therapy that I do and am working on.

I joined one group with the idea of my therapist to see if I feel comfortable reaching out and trying to feel normal. Rping has been a big part of my life since middle school and it felt not writing woth others. I don't feel comfortable but i was trying to make an effort and I and currently struggling. I didn't know people I distanced myself from joined and I have kept my space from them. I used an fc I didn't do research about and I apologize for that. I usually try to do better but I just didn't put in the effort to actually do research. But I do apologize, that wasn't right of me and I changed the fc as soon as another friend that won't let me cut them off brought it up to me when we were getting lunch together. It still was not okay for me and I should have done better research.

For people saying I'm joining groups you're wrong. I've joined a group. Yes I've been active in the rphhelp server as of late, but I've even gone silent there recently because hearing that whatever I do is sent to Syd feels rough and it has set my ptsd and paranoia regarding my last stalker off. Again, something I'm working on with my therapist and something we talk about in group therapy.

I acknowledge that I've fucked up in the past, I have mainly been keeping to myself trying to work on things. I thought my therapist's suggestion of joining a single group was good. Some people have reached out and talked to me about issues they've had with me and I've taken what they said to heart. I literally do not know everything that I'm being accused of and it's hard to ask when people don't reach out to you to say what they found you doing to be fucked up or caused hurt. But I'm trying with some of the info I was given. I'll still be working on things because I need that step by step plan.

I understand I fucked up, but please, if you have an issue with me let it just be with me. I don't want anybody else dragged down or had themselves tossed through the mud because people have issues with me as a person. Send me threats, tell me how awful I am, fuck anon is on this blog, send it here. Message me on discord. I've been away from discord the last few days but I will log in just if people want to talk and tell me what issues they have. It doesn't even have to be their main account he could be a disposable one. But please, keep your issues with me just with me. That's literally all I ask, I don't want the people I use to be close to thrown around because I'm the one you want to watch burn.

I haven't been looking at the tumblr, haven't messaged anybody, haven't done much except get some information of graphics and read updates about Palestinian. I honestly feel gross logging into this account just to post this that will be torn apart and picked at.

My discord is emptylittlemind. I changed it from cupcakemon for the literal reason of my stalker trying to get ahold me me via discord again. But you can message me on there, you can message this blog, whatever. I literally am just asking that if you have issues with me to not drag whoever you think I'm friends with through the mud thinking it will help drag me further. I'm barely talking to people, maybe two I know that rp, and that's it. I have been trying to keep space.

I know I have caused issues, and I cannot express how sorry I am. I know I have fucked up over and over and never acknowledged things. But I only know so much. I am still trying to figure things out. I know I have done a lot of damage but please, just take it out on me. I don't want others dragged further just for having at one point known me. The issues are with me and what I have done.

Again, you can add me on discord and message me there if you want. I just felt compelled to say something because I don't want ex friends dragged just for knowing me.

[icgaminglogs]

Hey folks!

I notice I now have two whole people following this blog! Hi guys!

Firstly, thanks for stopping by [and thanks to the folks who’ve liked my whole two posts so far but probably won’t see this. that’s fine tbh, I’m just happy people are seeing my writing ^^;]

Secondly, here’s the thing: I don’t really know how long the Gotham Knights storyline is, and I fully intend to actually finish it before I move on to restarting Skyrim or picking Mass Effect back up. On the other hand, there’s only so much activity I can maintain with just the one game. So I thought I’d offer an idea and see what people thought. Y'see, I also play two gacha games, Genshin Impact and Honkai Star Rail. So what I thought I could do is go back through The Story So Far™ for both of them [largelyby reading dialogue transcripts/rewatching cutscenes] and attempt to write up my MC's thoughts on it quest by quest, then pick up with the real-time journaling as new storylines/content drops for either game. It'd keep this blog active and also help me remember what's already happened in-game [especially in Genshin; the one downside of MMOs is you can't go and re-play storylines like with old-school video games. HSR's gonna be just as difficult after a while, I'm betting, though I love them both].

So is that something folks might like to see? Sora's Story [Genshin] and Luka's Logbook[HSR]? [titles not confirmed >w>]