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thosch3i · 4 years ago

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The finale of Ultimate Note airs 12/9 (tonight in China) for VIP. Thank you to this drama for bringing me my favorite Iron Triangle ❤ Longer discussion of why I love it so much, and why I strongly recommend it to book fans (especially those upset with certain previous adaptations) below the cut, apologies if it’s not fully coherent at times because I haven’t slept enough and also it’s almost 1am. But your TLDR is basically: characterization, plot, pacing, relationships are the best of any DMBJ drama. Iron Triangle especially.

First, the pacing of this show is excellent. Pretty much all cdramas I’ve seen or heard of have been inundated with filler, and the previous DMBJ dramas fall victim to this as well. Ultimate Note took 36 episodes to cover 4 book arcs, whereas previous adaptations have taken more episodes to cover far fewer. There’s really not any content you’d be wanting to skip, as almost all of it is plot-relevant or character-relevant.

Second, the plot is the most cohesive out of any DMBJ adaptation. Frankly, this isn’t saying too much, given the novel plot can also be confusing as all hell sometimes, but Ultimate Note goes above and beyond in pulling in information from later books and, if I heard correctly, common fan theories, doing their best to fill in the plot holes left by the author to create a more complete story.

Third, the female characters are actually done well. (As well as they can be, given the source material’s unfortunate habit of fridging its women.) For example, A-Ning’s decision to go the Tamutuo wasn’t because she was ~in love~ with some man. She is a determined individual who has made her choice about her path a long time ago, and she is willing to risk death to achieve her goals. Even her death was done about as well as it could have been--it wasn’t drawn out to the point of it being sickeningly cheesy, and Wu Xie tried his best to honor her goals and bring her to the Palace of the Queen Mother of the West (even emphasizing to Pangzi, “if you died, I would carry you too”). In addition, Chen Wenjin wasn’t stuck in some ridiculous love triangle. She loved Wu Sanxing, of course, but her loving a man isn’t made out to be her entire personality. Her goodbye to Xie Lianhuan is poignant but not mushy. She’s steady and sure in her goals, and she knows what she has to do in order to save herself. Yuncai’s character, as well, I think was handled about as well as it could’ve been given the source material. Her relationship with Pangzi wasn’t overexaggerated and nauseating, and I think their relationship was more tolerable in the drama than it was in the novel overall. (In addition, I prefer how they handled her death in the drama versus the novel--instead of just killing her offscreen, they give her a redemption, and show how she’d grown attached to her new friends, Pangzi especially, resulting in her hesitation to deal the final blow.)

Related to the above point: no added forced romances that destroyed the female characters’ personalities and reduced them to just love interests for men, thank god. Pangzi and Yuncai’s relationship was already there in the novel, but nothing about their relationship was distorted in the drama to the point of being annoying, and Yuncai is shown to have her own goals for cozying up to Pangzi (at first, at least). If you want to get technical about “added romances”, you could honestly argue that it’s Pingxie. (And Hei///hua, but I’ll be honest and say they’re not my cup of tea, so I won’t really be discussing them. However, I do think their characters, while also exaggerated for humor at points, were also done well, and their relationship--while AFAIK was not a really a thing in the books at all?--was written in a way that the development made sense, and their personalities compatible.)

But anyway, while Ultimate Note does make Pingxie seem closer to each other than they were in the novel, we do have to remember that the novel is from Wu Xie’s point of view, and he’s a little bit of a blockhead when it comes to noticing how much Xiaoge cares about him. (IIRC, he wonders if Xiaoge even considers him a friend in Zang Hai Hua...after Xiaoge’s literally called him his “only connection” to this world in book 8.) However, from an outsider POV, it’d be natural for us to see Xiaoge worrying more over Wu Xie. Because from Wu Xie’s perspective, what did he actually see? Xiaoge dropping in to save him a few times and often vanishing or turning away right after, leaving Wu Xie with mixed feelings and confusion about his value to Xiaoge. Xiaoge being aloof before they set off to Tamutuo, claiming that he is a person with no past and future, and that no one would remember him if he disappeared. (Xiaoge smiles before telling Wu Xie that he’s on Wu Xie’s side--that’s a smile that the viewers see, but that Wu Xie doesn’t.) Most of Xiaoge’s visible worry for Wu Xie in the desert was also when Wu Xie himself was not there to see it. During the scene where the fungus was growing in Wu Xie’s stomach, he was entirely out of it while Xiaoge visibly panicked about hurting him, and after the fungus was dealt with, Xiaoge only stood off to the side--only to smile faintly to himself, relieved, after Wu Xie wakes up. (Again a smile that the viewers see, but that Wu Xie doesn’t.) But because from an outsider POV we can see all this, while Wu Xie remains partly ignorant, lines like “thankfully, I didn’t bring death upon you” and Xiaoge calling Wu Xie is only connection to the world seem that much more logical, now that we can see some of the depth and development of how much Xiaoge does care about Wu Xie.

That brings me to the primary reason why I love Ultimate Note, because the main selling point for me on any franchise is not actually world-building or plot, but rather the characters and the relationships between those characters. And for DMBJ, the relationship I’m always looking for--and the relationship that the entire franchise ultimately centers around--is the Iron Triangle. And the mutual trust and the strength of the bond between this Iron Triangle is unmistakable; no one is treated as expendable.

As much as we have joked about Xiaoge's double standards with Wu Xie versus Pangzi, the end of the Banai arc especially and the last five episodes have cemented the importance of Xiaoge and Pangzi's friendship. Their relationship is often the weakest leg of the Iron Triangle in DMBJ adaptations, but Ultimate Note has nailed it. Pangzi helps carry Xiaoge out of Tamutuo, and Pangzi's the one who primarily takes care of Xiaoge after he loses his memories. There's also Xiaoge's clear worry over Pangzi after Yuncai's death, and his assurance that Pangzi won't die as long as he is here in the later episodes when the two of them are separated from Wu Xie--showing that the Iron Triangle is a triangle; Wu Xie isn't the single connection that Xiaoge and Pangzi's relationship hinges upon.

Pangzi and Wu Xie's friendship doesn't need much explaining: the two of them bicker like they're brothers, and they could probably star in their own buddy-cop comedy together. Both Pangzi and Xiaoge are shown to be clearly worried for Wu Xie after the Xie Lianhuan reveal, and even though neither of them quite know how to handle it, they are there for Wu Xie. And of course, there's the scene where Pangzi pours out the water while they're waiting for Xiaoge to leave the meteorite. Wu Xie cries for Pangzi when they're in the Miluotuo cave and he chooses to carry out Xiaoge first, and once again, his worry for Pangzi after Yuncai's death is palpable. Even when Wu Xie has to leave Pangzi in Banai, he instructs Xiaoge to look after him (not that Xiaoge really needed the instruction, anyway--that’s his best friend, too).

Wu Xie and Xiaoge's relationship needs even less explaining: anyone who's watched the show can attest to how much they care about each other. From Wu Xie's frantic scrambling to grab the tapes upon hearing they were from "Zhang Qiling" and Xiaoge's introduction in the show being him stopping outside Wushanju to stare up (longingly?) at the sign, we see their relationship unfold in all of its quiet pining and lingering looks. When Xiaoge claims no one would know if he disappeared from this world, Wu Xie doesn't hesitate in promising that he, at least, will. Xiaoge smiles before telling Wu Xie that he's on his side, and Wu Xie vows to walk with Xiaoge until the very end. During the entire Tamutuo trip, Xiaoge is visibly worried for Wu Xie--when the parasitic fungus grew in his stomach, that worry was the most clear. But Wu Xie worries for Xiaoge too: insisting on going to save Xiaoge from the snakes that night when they all went blind; swearing that even if he faces death, he would wait for Xiaoge to leave the meteorite; telling Xiaoge that he will take him home. (Related: the soft, almost vulnerable way Xiaoge tells Wu Xie “take me home” in episode 31.) Not to mention--even when Xiaoge loses his memories, he still remembers Wu Xie. (And Pangzi smiles knowingly right after that scene.)

There are too many character/relationship moments I could write about, but one that stuck out in particular was when they were facing the spiders, and Wu Xie stopped Xiaoge from cutting his hand and using his blood to make the spiders retreat. At this point, Wu Xie and Pangzi don't know the extent of how Xiaoge was (mis)treated as a child (and used as a blood bag, apparently), but they know about how "A-Kun" was captured used as bait. Wu Xie and Pangzi would never ask Xiaoge to bleed for them, no matter what. Not now, let alone 10+ years later. (I won't name names, but if you know what I'm talking about, then you know.)

Which brings me to my main point: the characters in Ultimate Note are the closest to their novel selves I have ever seen in a DMBJ adaptation, and this is objectively the best adaptation of the DMBJ novel. (Whether you prefer another adaption or not is your opinion--I absolutely love the Time Raiders movie, even though that plot is literally all over the place, and Xiaoge is decently OOC--but Ultimate Note is the best adaptation of the novel, and the characters are the most true to what they actually should be.)

You can see the innocent and naïve Wu Xie, but you can also see the developing confusion, frustration, and anger he feels because he's been lead around by his nose his entire life. And he is angry in the novel; he is a bit of a hot-headed bastard; he's not just a naïve child. I remember seeing some complaints that Wu Xie felt "OOC" in the first episode for being so furious with his San-shu, but I think his reactions were spot-on with how he felt, and how he wanted to react. A similar point is the scene where Wu Xie slammed Xiaoge against the car--aside from just being some fun fanservice, in the novel Wu Xie really was furious at Xiaoge for vanishing on him and never contacting him after leaving the Heavenly Palace in the Clouds. A lot of the novel is Wu Xie's inner thoughts, which are difficult to portray in a live action adaptation, but he really did pretty much want to pick a fight with Xiaoge about disappearing, and Ultimate Note decided on how to express this frustration in a way that suits a drama adaptation. In addition, you can see how Wu Xie’s past experiences like the trip to Tamutuo has changed him in how he manipulates Panma into bringing him to the lake; and you can see how almost losing Xiaoge and Pangzi to the Miluotuo changed him as well, when he thinks he’s lost them for real in episode 36 (leading up to his decision to put on his San-shu’s mask by the end, despite the fact that “some masks, when worn too long, can no longer be taken off”).

As for Pangzi: even though he has scenes that were clearly exaggerated for comic relief, he has plenty of moments that build his character and the Iron Triangle’s bond. These include him pouring out the water while he and Wu Xie are waiting for Xiaoge, his grief over Yuncai’s death, his standing by Wu Xie during the hotel auction scene, and his almost mother-hen-like worry about Xiaoge while they’re entering the Zhang Family Mansion in the last five episodes. Not to mention, he’s really quite a smart and perceptive character, despite his goofiness: he sees through Xiaoge’s worry about Wu Xie, and he knows when to step in and liven the atmosphere (see: Wu Xie being all awkward about his gift to Xiaoge in episode 31, and Pangzi being there practically just for emotional support). Also in episode 31: Pangzi telling Xiaoge that he’s getting more and more humane (the implications about Wu Xie here are pretty obvious). All in all, Pangzi is a funny person; he is often comic relief, but he’s also a steadfastly loyal friend and someone who loves deeply and without regret. Initially we saw more of his humor, but we definitely got the depths to his character by the end of Ultimate Note.

Finally Xiaoge, who I’m discussing last because he’s my favorite character: for once, I can see the humanity behind the title “Zhang Qiling”, and in a way that isn’t OOC. Xiaoge isn’t treated as a free source of bug-repelling blood; he isn’t treated as some overpowered, untouchable idol; he isn’t treated as a rescue machine for whenever another character needs it. He is a human, not a god. For the rest, I think his actor’s words speak for themselves. (And now I really don’t trust anyone else except him with Xiaoge's character.)

Ultimate Note succeeded in capturing the nuances of its main characters: Wu Xie’s loss of his “tianzhen” and slow maturation to the man he will eventually become by Sha Hai; Pangzi’s outwardly humorous pseudo-caricature but inwardly deeply loyal and loving spirit; Xiaoge’s vulnerabilities, painful humanity, and the “heart” given to him by his mother, hidden beneath a seemingly impenetrable armor. This is an Iron Triangle that feels like the Iron Triangle, without needing say so much in words. This is an Iron Triangle with mutual respect and a friendship I can see and believe in.

In conclusion: Ultimate Note does the story justice; it does the characters justice; it does the relationships justice; and it did all this with a low budget and almost no promotion. You can tell the crew definitely cares about the source material.

My only complaint is that they couldn’t film the finale.

Rambling over! All my love to the Ultimate Note cast and crew <3

#dmbj #zjbj #ultimate note #pingxie #iron triangle #盗墓笔记 #终极笔记 #瓶邪 #the lost tomb 3 #shouting into the void #i was supposed to be writing my essay for grad school LMAO #got 2.5k words of whatever the hell this is instead #basically iron triangle superior is what im saying #this is the longer and slightly more grammatical version of what i posted on twitter a couple days ago #FUCK I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT PAN ZI #you know what its 1am im not editing this now lol

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virlath · 4 years ago

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Hidden Trespasser mosaics

So I was researching some lore for a theory surrounding the environmental artwork in DAI, and happened to stumble upon this twitter post regarding unused mosaics for Trespasser.

Coincidentally, I’ve been so deep in statues and elven god symbolism the past few days that I thought I’d chime in with some of my own thoughts.

From left to right in these artworks, I think we’re looking at four different gods involved in Solas’ slave rebellion.

Fen’Harel, Dirthamen/Falon’Din, Andruil, Mythal

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If this hidden game file is anything to go by, it seems to confirm one theory I’ve had for a while- that Solas had help from some of the evanuris with his slave rebellion.

Because when you think about it, it’s kinda hard to believe he could have started a slave rebellion at all with his high profile and attachment to Mythal, especially when slaves seems to have been a big economy in ancient Elvhenan.

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The gods in these mosaics

From left to right in the image

(Note: I actually posted some hi-res shots of the masks from DAO yesterday if you’re interested in seeing unedited screenshots, but I’ll break down my guesses here anyway.)

1. Fen’Harel is obviously the wolf.

2. Dirthamen’s mask is easiest to spot because it matches the shape of his statues in DAO. Note that Dirthamen and Falon’Din have very similar statues and masks.

Falon’Din is the statue with the spear (recognised by Tamlen as “friend of the dead”) while I believe Dirthamen is the statue with four arms (this also strongly implies the envy demon in DAI is his corrupted raven, Deceit)

I believe Falon’Din and Dirthamen are two aspects of the same being, but how that actually works remains to be seen. Some people have suggested Falon’Din walks the fade while Dirthamen walks the physical realm and perhaps that explains their togetherness and separateness.

Regardless, it does seem like both Falon’Din and Dirthamen were involved in Solas’ uprising due to the fact that both their mosaics are found inside the elven sanctuary before we see Solas’ mural removing vallaslin.

3. Andruil’s mask seems to fit most similarly to the third mosaic.

The overall curved shape mirrors Andruil’s bow in her mosaic, and the dotted indentation at the top totally looks like an arrow shaft. The eye placement in both the mosaic and the mask hints to me that this is very likely Andruil.

The big question- why would Andruil be helping Solas?

Perhaps because Mythal turned her to their side after she “sapped Andruil's strength, and stole her knowledge of how to find the Void.”

Or, perhaps Andruil isn’t as “evil” as people think she is.

Sure, she may have brought on the blight (although even this is conjecture, personally I feel like this could very well could be misdirection) and may have hunted “mortal men and beasts”, but who’s to say these beasts and men didn’t deserve what they got? Who’s to say she wasn’t corrupted by the void before she became the “goddess of sacrifice”?

One day Andruil grew tired of hunting mortal men and beasts. She began stalking The Forgotten Ones, wicked things that thrive in the abyss.

This implies to me she could have simply been hunting beings that had given her cause to hunt them. Remember, she was the only god that responded to Ghilan’nain’s cries for help, and at this time Ghilan’nain was one of the People, implying she wasn’t totally evil.

Andruil also has strong links to Falon’Din, because she and Falon’Din share the same symbol of the owl. What if Mythal meted out judgement, Falon’Din brought her judgement to them in the form of the owl (thus fulfilling the role of Andruil’s messenger as well as “friend of the dead”), and Andruil hunted them in turn to render Mythal’s judgement?

“Always keep an eye out for the noble owl. You never know: Andruil might have a message for you.”

It is interesting to see that the owl statue is always carrying what looks like a mirror or even dimension to another world (another prison perhaps?), possibly intended as a way to reflect the viewer’s own self and actions back on to them.

Anyway, to me there are a number of possibilities why Andruil would work with Solas and co. Perhaps she wasn’t as corrupted as they thought. Perhaps Mythal made her forget so much so she agreed to help them. Or perhaps Andruil was the mole in the rebellion - the person who began the events that led to Mythal’s death.

4. I think the last god represents Mythal, due to the fact the shape is similar to the bronze statues found in the crossroads and deep roads.

There are in fact two versions of this statue - the sun, in the crossroads, and the moon in the deep roads. (brightened and contrast boosted for clarity)

The moon statue is strongly implied to represent Mythal, because a note is found near this statue:

These statues are old. Better shape than anything I've seen on the surface. Many of them are for Mythal, though. And Fen'Harel. Not in a spot of honor, but guarding, attending.

Question is, why would the sun also represent Mythal when Elgar’nan is known as the Eldest of the sun?

Well, not only does the sun statue look very much the yin to the yang of the moon statue in the deep roads, the sun could refer to Mythal being both the sun and moon to the dwarves.

These statues are notably different to other elven statues we’ve seen- notable for the fact they have a large base of rock, and they are carved in smooth bronze. As these bronze statues are only found in this particular section of the deep roads where she controlled a lyrium wellspring, perhaps the dwarves carved these as a representation of her.

In the third note you find in the deep roads, a poem reads:

I am empty, filled with nothing(?), Mythal gives you dreams. It fills you, within you(?), Making our leaders proud. My little stones, Never yours the sun. Forever, forever.

It sure seems to me like Mythal was protecting these dwarves from something. Either that, or she was using these dwarves as slaves or minions in her operation and for some reason, they revered her enough to carve their own representations of her.

Morrigan says this of Mythal at the Temple of Mythal:

Let fly your voice to Mythal, deliverer of justice, protector of sun and earth alike.’

Similarly, Solas further says:

She was the mother, protective and fierce.

Regardless, I think there’s more evidence indicating Mythal was working with Solas over Elgar’nan. You do need Mythal’s passphrase after all to enter the elven sanctuary safely.

And if you want to take this one step further, check out the crown “Andraste” is wearing in DAO. Look familiar??? Maybe reminscent of the moon statue we see in the deep roads?

I don’t want to say Mythal was Andraste but...there are many signs that are hard to ignore.

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More theory drabble

I realise a lot of the gods’ motives I’ve come up with above are based on conjecture and tbh, the writing for DA4 could go so many ways simply because of the fact that there are so many wide open threads that could be expanded upon.

These unused mosaics does indicate to me at least that the writers have a plan for how Solas’ rebellion actually functioned however, and that to me is exciting in itself.

One thing we can assume with high certainty is that Solas started the slave rebellion before Mythal’s death, because you need her passphrase to enter his sanctuary. Furthermore, even without these unused mosaics there are in-game mosaics of Dirthamen and Falon’Din in the sanctuary before we see the vallaslin mural.

This strongly implies to me that at the very least, even without this hidden game file, that Dirthamen, Falon’Din and Mythal aided and abetted Solas’ slave rebellion.

Further adding to this theory are the the rather compelling links to Dirthamen throughout DAI. For example, the gilded Fen’Harel statues in Dirthamen’s temple’s inner sanctum, Dirthamen’s bleeding statue in the Fade, Dirthamen, Falon’Din, Mythal and Fen’Harel imagery in the Knight’s Tomb, as well as Dirthamen’s statue at Calenhad’s foothold (where it’s implied he had a thing with Ghilan’nain). Not to mention- dual raven standards found underneath Fen’Harel’s sanctuary, as well as archer statues next to the eluvian as you exit (who I believe represent Dirthamen & Falon’Din).

Something clearly happened that led to Mythal’s death, and I’m leaning towards the fact that there was a leak somewhere within Solas’ trusted circle. Dirthamen seems to have been betrayed by someone close to him before the veil was created, because his statue in the fade is stabbed in the back and his eyes are weeping waterfalls of blood.

As Solas says “...an enemy can attack, but only an ally can betray you. Betrayal is always worse.”

And, when you tell him you trust your friends? He responds “I know that mistake well enough to carve the angles of her face from memory”

It is assumed he is talking about Mythal��s own betrayal when he says this, but he could also be referring to the person/people who betrayed him and his trust. Personally, I think Falon’Din and Ghilan’nain could be key players in Mythal’s death at this point. We don’t know enough about the other gods to also make assumptions on their motives unfortunately.

All in all, it seems to me like every one of the false gods were out to get one another, and Solas never even saw Mythal’s death coming because he was too arrogant/preoccupied with his rebellion.

If Solas really was Mythal’s oldest friend and guardian, his pride would have been absolutely crushed when she was betrayed and killed. The veil was likely a knee-jerk reaction due to his pride and “hot-headedness” more than anything- if he could be outplayed and have his own power and role as “guardian” outright questioned, then of course he would retaliate and raise the stakes even higher. It’s his MO- he has a means to an ends “you didn’t invent war” mentality, disregarding the collateral damage as long as he comes out on top.

This does make me wonder what intentions he has for the false gods once they’re freed though. Obviously Mythal wants her vengeance. But what of Solas? These false gods were his kin after all and the only ones who can truly relate to him on a level no mortal can understand. After all these years of stewing and realising his knee-jerk reaction cost him the entire elven empire, it makes sense he would want to restore what he effectively destroyed when his pride was hurt.

To me it does seem like he truly hates the evanuris...but could he still be in leagues with some of them? Something I may not put past him, considering I don’t think he worked alone during his rebellion.

#dragon age #dragon age theories #da4 #trespasser #solas #mythal #dirthamen #falon'din #andruil #environmental storytelling #theory crafting #da theories #drabble

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 4 years ago

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TWDG: The Final Season | Character Discussion | 1/2

Part 1 | Part 2

“Everyone’s counting on me to step up. Be the leader they need me to be... I really want to be that for them.”

So.... let’s talk about Marlon.

I mean, let’s really talk about him. Ever since I started this blog, some common questions I get revolve around Marlon- “How do you feel about Marlon?” “Do you think he deserved a redemption arc?” “Why do you think he was sent to Ericson?” “In your opinion, is Marlon a bad person?” and many others.

Some ask with expectations that I’ll express a distaste or hatred for him, while others ask with a more sympathetic approach. If you know me, if you’ve been here for a while, then you know that I do indeed like Marlon as a character, and today I want to talk about him from my perspective while playing this game.

And with that comes a seemingly unnecessary disclaimer, but one I feel I need to add in order to make it abundantly clear: I will be discussing MY thoughts, experiences, and feelings about Marlon within TFS and give my take on his character. Because we’re not the same person, you may have a different opinion or perspective on his character, you may disagree with something I say, and that’s perfectly okay. You’re entitled to your opinion as I am mine, and I do encourage you to join in on the discussion and express your thoughts about Marlon, but I also want to let you know that you can do that without attacking me or anyone else.

Really, this is pretty much me looking at Marlon’s role and arc within TFS, discussing points of his character that I find interesting, exploring the why’s and how’s of his actions, maybe coming up with a couple theories as to why he was sent to Ericson, and basically giving a lot of personal opinions of him. It’s a discussion meant in good fun, that’s all I’m saying.

Before we dive right in, I do want to thank @pi-creates for providing me with most of the screenshots used in this. I appreciate the help! If you haven’t already, go check out Pi’s blog for some of the best screenshots and model swaps in the TWDG community! Thank you, thank you!

[First and foremost, y’all are sleeping on Ray Chase’s performance as Marlon and it really shows]

“Looks like I was announced as Marlon, the central focus in this first episode of The Walking Dead Season 4 coming in a few weeks. I've been playing this series since the beginning, and it was a real honor to be a part of the canon. I hope you enjoy!“ - Ray Chase’s Twitter account | July 26, 2018

I want to start this off with praising Marlon’s voice actor, Ray Chase, for doing such a perfect job of bringing Marlon’s character to life. Every emotion and infliction feels genuine, and there’s isn’t a single moment where I don’t “see” Marlon, y’know? I mean that in the sense that every line delivered is believable and doesn’t break my immersion with, “Oof, they really used that take?”

I know we throw praise upon Melissa, Tayla, Sterling, and Gideon [and for good reason, they’re all fantastic, too!] but even with them there are a couple of lines that I notice have a lack of flow or sound just a bit off. I’ve played TFS how many times? And not once have I had that issue with Ray Chase as Marlon, so bravo to this man. Credit where credit is due, his performance is damn near flawless.

Especially in the confrontation scene at the end of Done Running. I’ll get into that scene as a whole later, but just looking at the performance and the intense, impactful emotion brought to that scene, just..... *chef kiss*

Thank you, Ray Chase.

[What’s up with your haircut, Marlon?]

“Uh, I look cool... I say, I look cool.”

Lemme talk a little bit about Marlon’s design- I think he looks great.

I love the little details in the Ericson varsity jacket he wears... including the fact that it looks just a tad bit too snug on him. Like, either the boy doesn’t have another jacket or he’s grown so attached to this one that he’s not willing to admit that he’s outgrown it a bit.

I’ve had a lot of people point out that it’s nice to see a teenage character in these games with actual acne since most media pretends that acne just doesn’t exist, and I agree. We all know that if this were more realistic, then everyone would have terrible, greasy, dirty skin but... y’know.

And y’know what? I like the mullet! It’s unique! And I choose to believe it’s a representation of Marlon’s past with bad decisions he’s too stubborn to admit were bad decisions... I mean, he’s had it since he was a kid and hadn’t grown it out or cut it off [to our knowledge, I suppose] sooo... there’s that.

Or maybe he does actually think it looks badass. Either way.

Hell, my biggest complaint about Marlon’s design is that I wish they kept more to this concept art attire:

Because Marlon looks super good in this concept art. I love the headband with the mullet and his clothes actually look more comfortable... but like, it’s fine. He still looks great in the game, his little jacket’s cool, bringing back the mullet...its fine. I’m just sayin’. He looks great.

[Marlon’s introduction in TFS]

“It's our little kingdom. I just do what I can to keep the peace. Wasn't always like this, though. There used to be a lot of us, but...you know how it goes.”

Let’s talk about how Marlon’s introduced.

We get our first look at him after Clementine and AJ crash their car during the walker attack. A bunch of arrows come flying, hitting walkers attempting to get ahold of them, and as Clementine glances over she sees a figure pulling AJ out of the car. And even though you can tell it’s Marlon, this closer shot from Pi-

-100% confirms that it’s him. Not that you had any doubt, but still.

What’s interesting, though, is that while snooping around for some insight about Marlon from the writers/devs, wandering around reddit, replaying the game myself, and even glancing over the all-knowing wiki that’s never wrong ever, it seems agreed upon that Marlon wasn’t alone, despite no one else being specifically mentioned to have helped Clementine and AJ.

Which makes sense that that’d be the case, but I did come across a handful of people who are pretty adamant that he was alone, which is an interesting take, though I disagree.

I’m pretty sure most people do, too. I mean, Marlon says, “It's good we found you when we did. It wasn't easy getting you two out of that wreck, and walkers were on the way.” So I don’t even think that was the writers’ intention of it being solely Marlon who saved them.

What’s funny is I came across a post Instagram [I know, the most legitimate source for info and thoughtful opinions] that was surprisingly trying to redeem/defend Marlon rather than chastise him by claiming he’s a hero who saved Clementine and AJ by himself.

The thing is, they’re both unconscious after the wreck, so unless Marlon has super-human speed to grab AJ, zip around the car to grab Clementine, and then uses super-human strength to carry both of them AND their belongings all while killing any threatening walkers coming after them with his bow... I’m gonna have to press [X] Doubt.

Besides, I like the idea of it being vague. I like to think that was the intention. “Who was Marlon with? A hunting party! You fill in the blanks!” That sort of deal.

With everything that we know about Marlon and the safe-zone, it does lead to questions about why he and whoever felt they had to go outside it to see what was happening. Marlon points out in his conversation with Clementine that they “had to work fast. I don't know what would've happened if we hadn't seen the smoke...” And later Violet mentions an explosion, so I think it’s safe to say that they heard the explosion and followed the smoke to the location.

If you don’t know about the raiders and the twins [like it’s your first time playing] then you probably assume that Marlon and his group were being kind in rescuing them, which I don’t doubt but it does make you wonder about things from Marlon’s perspective, y’know?

This is one of those “shhh, don’t think, just go with it” moments. If I had to give a reason, I’d say that the group he was with didn’t think twice about checking it out and even if Marlon did protest, he didn’t have much choice but to follow. Then, seeing that it’s Clementine and AJ, I believe he genuinely wanted to save them.

“All alone with the kid? Not a pleasant thought. I've seen some rough scenes. But that one would've been up there.”

We get our second and more official introduction to Marlon after Clementine escapes her dorm and confronts Tenn... and it’s pretty fucking good. I mean, everything from him being hidden in the shadows with his bow drawn, to the clear concern yet sternness in his voice as he assures Clementine they’re not going to hurt her and to put the knife down, to his sympathetic apology for scaring her is just an A+.

One thing this season does exceptionally well is introducing its characters. Marlon has such a confident yet chill way about him when you first meet that it’s actually disheartening to think that in two hours he’s gonna be pulling a gun and MURDER....

Sigh.

Let’s not jump that far ahead yet. I’m not ready.

What I find appealing about this next part is Clementine’s reaction to seeing the inside of Ericson for the first time and how taken aback she seems by it. I also love how easy and comfortable it is to talk with Marlon as they’re walking through the yard even though we just met him.

I enjoy that you can tell he’s trying to get a better idea of who she is without pressuring or overwhelming her and doing his best not to offend. And even when Clementine questions if he doesn’t think she can handle herself, he’s decent about apologizing and explaining that’s not what he meant. But he’s also not afraid to be upfront about AJ’s behavior since they brought him here, either.

He does come off as annoyed when talking about AJ being a handful. We don’t know how long Clementine’s been passed out or how long they had to deal with AJ after he woke up, so who knows how much of a little terror AJ was before they either dumped him with Louis or Louis decided to take him to the music room to chill... where he then bit Ruby.

Anyway, the first impression I got of Marlon is that he’s genuinely friendly, trying to help Clementine and AJ even if AJ’s been a nuisance, and he’s confident in the system he has in place for them. He is rather forward and proud about being the school’s leader when first telling Clementine.

Having played through the whole season several times and knowing how Done Running ends, it’s interesting to look at Clementine’s first conversation with Marlon with that all knowing perspective- knowing what he did to the twins, knowing that Brody’s involved and that Marlon’s going to eventually kill her, going to try and frame Clementine for the murder, knowing that he was planning on giving Clementine and AJ away...

I can definitely look at this conversation with a more skeptical lens and say he’s more so trying to sell the idea that he has everything under control in this kingdom for kids and he’s a proper leader with a system in place despite being so young with no adults around. But hey, that’s the natural progression- Ericson is a perfectly chill safe haven and the Ericson crew get along swell... except no, the cracks slowly begin to surface as the episode goes on until all hell breaks loose with Marlon at the center.

[Rosie is best girl]

“You said dogs brought back bad memories. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were so scared of them. But I swear, Rosie's not as frightening as she seems...See? She's harmless. She just needs to get to know you, is all. Here. I'll show you. Do you trust me? “

I’ll be completely honest- the thing that initially sold me on trusting Marlon the first time I ever played this episode was his relationship with Rosie.

If you know me, then you know that I love dogs. I have a pup named Piglet that I adore, I’ve grown up with dogs my whole life, and I have a huge appreciation and soft spot for animals. I’m one of those people that can’t stand others who are mean or cruel to harmless animals. It’s different if you’re hunting for food or if an animal attacks you and you’re defending yourself... but I’ve known people who have gone out of their way to hurt animals. I’m out in a country area with a lot of dangerous roads for wandering animals, and the amount of people I’ve driven with who’ll swerve to hit a squirrel, a cat, a dog because they enjoy it is too many. After those incidents, I cut those people out of my life. If you don’t have that love and appreciation in your heart, then I want nothing to do with you.

So when I saw that Rosie, while the school’s dog, is more portrayed to be Marlon’s dog above everyone else, I remember thinking to myself, “Okay, I trust him. He clearly loves this dog, wouldn’t mistreat her, and that’s a step in the right direction.”

While I wasn’t skeptical of him and his intentions before, it really was that natural relationship he held with Rosie that kind of sealed the deal for me- “I like Marlon! He’s probably going to die because he’s the leader and they never last but when it does happen, I’m gonna be super upset about it.”

And well, to be fair... I was super upset when he died, just more so than I originally planned because there was also that element of betrayal mixed into the pain, y’know?

Speaking of trust and Rosie- My second favorite Marlon scene is the office scene. But let’s talk about the Rosie bit specifically. After Tenn leaves and Rosie comes in, she scares Clementine and brings back those traumatic memories of when Sam attacked her.

Marlon comes in and cools the situation, and I love the way he talks to Clementine in this moment.

I love that he doesn’t immediately turn to Clementine like, “What’d you do?” but recognizes that she’s afraid of Rosie due to her previous experience, one that he remembers her mentioning. He also knows how well trained Rosie is to recognize scents and people, which explains why she’s behaving that way- she doesn’t know Clementine.

I feel like I’m using this word a lot, but Marlon’s approach to helping Clementine with her fear of dogs feels so genuine. He holds his hand out and waits for her to accept, and if she does, he walks Clementine through what to do, beginning Clementine’s bond with Rosie.

“Get down on her level. Let her get your scent. It's okay. She's not gonna hurt you.”

It’s incredibly sweet and humanizing to see Marlon like this.

The best part about this scene, though, is that you can reject Marlon’s offer and he won’t be upset.

“No problem. I'm not gonna pressure you.”

And he doesn’t. He doesn’t get annoyed, he doesn’t press, no questions asked, and he doesn’t say anything to make Clementine feel bad for her decision. He respects that she isn’t ready to get close with Rosie.

The reason I love this is because how many times have we made decisions in this game, big and small, and had the other characters get annoyed or try to guilt us? “Oh, you don’t want to bond with the dog? Rosie’s the best, everyone loves dogs! What’s wrong with you?” None of that here. That’s something I appreciate about Marlon in this moment.

It shows that when he wants to, he can listen and understand those around him... something he clearly struggles with when it comes to certain members of Ericson.

I’ll swing back around and talk about that entire scene in a bit, but one last thing about Rosie... can I just say how heart breaking it is to hear her whine at Marlon’s funeral? Solidifying that she was definitely Marlon’s dog more than anyone else’s? And the way Rosie lays on his grave several times in episode 2?

Oof.

[Ericson’s perception of Marlon prior to the final confrontation and after]

“...when the world went to shit, he bailed. All the other adults did. Left us behind to fend for ourselves... Now it's just us kids left.”

I want to touch on how the Ericson crew seem to view Marlon as a leader before and after the final confrontation.

When looking at and discussing a character, it’s important to not just focus solely on them. You can gather a lot about a character based on how others respond and perceive them.

Not everyone expresses something towards Marlon within Done Running. Y’know, like Omar or Ruby, for example. Though we do get a bit more from them after Marlon’s death, their perception of him is different now that they’ve learned what he’s done and witnessed his murder.

So we don’t know how Ruby, Omar, Willy or Mitch viewed his leadership prior to those events, y’know? It’s safe to assume that they’re fine following him as a leader since they’re background characters at this point and make no objections to his leadership at any time before the confrontation. But, after learning the truth, they turned against him.

Then things get complicated when Marlon’s murder traumatizes them.

What a mess.

But for this section, there are two characters I want to get into specifics about. They’re worth talking about because they further Marlon’s character, but they’re not the most important, y’know? Characters like Louis, Tenn, and Brody will get their own sections.

The one I find most interesting among side characters is Aasim. Right off the bat, you get a feel for what his relationship is like with Marlon:

Marlon: “How'd it go out there?”

Aasim: “How do you think it went?”

Brody: “Be nice, Aasim.”

Aasim: “The safe zone's nearly dry. I could barely find enough for tonight. We're gonna have to scout out further if we want food for the winter.”

Marlon: “We'll talk about it later.”

Aasim: “Bullshit, we should talk about this right now-”

Marlon: “I said later, damn it!”

So... they’re not exactly besties. The game makes a clear point that Aasim is more vocal in his disagreements and concerns towards Marlon than the others. They even reiterate it when you talk with him later:

“He keeps pulling back the safe zone. We have fewer and fewer places to hunt. Which means we're gonna have fewer and fewer things to eat.”

No one else opposes Marlon like he does, not counting Brody in the basement since that’s a whole other thing and Brody will get an entire segment to herself later.

It’s pretty clear that this isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation, but because Marlon’s in a place of power, Aasim doesn’t have much choice but to go along with it. Because no one else is speaking up, he doesn’t have anyone to back him up, and you can tell he goes with it reluctantly. He also voices annoyances when it comes to how Marlon treats Louis if you go hunting.

Knowing this, you can infer that Marlon doesn’t want to hear what Aasim has to say, and he doesn’t appreciate someone questioning his leadership. When Aasim steps in Marlon’s path and says, “Bullshit, we should talk about this right now-” what does Marlon do?

He shoves his shoulder into Aasim’s as he pushes past, and in a louder, commanding tone, replies, “I said later, damn it!” which leads to Aasim glaring after him... but he doesn’t pursue. Marlon has a hard time with someone like Aasim and his response is to shut him down rather than stop, listen to his concerns, and address them.

That’s something Marlon struggles with as a leader- control and listening. Control over his temper and anger, listening and addressing the concerns of the people he swears to protect.

The reason I bring this up is because Aasim is our first indication that the image Marlon was giving off previously isn’t as spotless as he wants us to believe. Aasim plants a seed of doubt, y’know? He gives an argument that the player can get behind.

“Yeah, why not extend the safe zone? If food is really as bad as you say it is, then what other choice is there? Just be extra cautious so no one gets hurt,” which can then lead to thinking, “Why is Marlon so insistent about the safe zone? Is he hiding something?”

Once that seed is there, it grows.

Now as for how Aasim’s view of Marlon changes during and after the confrontation, you can see that he’s one of the few that wants to hear Clementine’s side to things, and he steps forward after Louis/Violet intervenes.

Then after Marlon dies, Aasim is... well, he’s rather neutral? And I say that meaning he’s more in a middle ground between Louis and Violet, who are on extreme opposite ends. Aasim isn’t okay with Marlon’s death, nor is he okay with AJ killing him, but he can see that kicking Clementine and AJ out isn’t the best solution. Hence why he voted for them to stay.

You can see he’s still angry at Marlon for what he did during the funeral scene, but the game doesn’t care to show more beyond that. Which, in my opinion, was a missed opportunity on their part.

And because I’m me, I also want to add that this perfectly sets up the idea of Aasim taking over once Marlon died and the writers shot themselves in the foot for wasting him like that. Good job.

Now let’s talk about Violet. People love when I do that.

Marlon and Violet don’t interact too much prior to the confrontation. The most we see them together is during the card game, and they’re chill. Violet makes fun of his hair, he says he looks cool, they’re decent to each other, it’s all good. They’re on friendly terms.

Which I do find it interesting that she seems like she’s chill with Marlon, but she has such a hard time with Brody. Granted, that’s because she was supposed to go with them but asked Brody to cover her, and then when the twins died, she felt guilty. But you’d think that she’d also have some issues with Marlon, given that he was also there and, like Brody, unable to save them.

You could argue that because Violet and Brody were friends before it had a stronger effect, whereas she and Marlon weren’t ever that close, so it didn’t strike as bad, y’know?

Though this does kind of get explained later if you choose to stick with Violet through ep4. Well, sort of? A little? She tells you:

Violet: “...I remember how Marlon described it, what we were gonna turn Ericson into. It's not the way any of us pictured it.”

Clementine: “How did you picture it?”

Violet: “I guess I couldn't. I just listened to what Marlon said. How it would be a home, a real one. But I couldn't really wrap my head around it.”

And when she talks about people who cared about her that she pushed away, she does list Marlon as one of those people, which is super interesting given all the loathing she’s done towards him after the truth came out.

It could be that in the past, she saw Marlon as the leader and why would he lie? He’s the one who stepped up, promised that they’d made Ericson into something special, into a brand new home... what reason does she have to distrust him?

So when she finds out the truth... well, that betrayal completely shatters everything she has for Marlon, going as far as for her to believe that AJ was justified in what he did and shit talking Marlon in front of his mourning best friend.

So her reaction to Marlon after this makes sense, but what does this tell us about Marlon himself?

Again, depending on how you view him, you can look at this idea of Marlon being kind to Violet and them being on friendly terms after what happened to the twins a few different ways- Marlon was manipulating Violet solely for his sake, or Marlon felt guilty that something he did hurt her this bad and tried to make Violet feel better, or both.

I think it was both. After the twins died, we all know the amount of guilt Marlon carried with him, so having to be confronted with the fallout of that in the form of someone like Violet... he had to be careful. I don’t doubt that he cared about Violet or that he tried to reach out to her, but he also had to protect himself for the sake of maintaining his leadership and control of Ericson. So, of course, he had to lie to her which manipulated her feelings about him and the situation.

I believe Violet recognized it, too. When she says they should’ve asked more questions about what happened, I think that’s her being more pissed with herself for trusting Marlon and not questioning him further, for taking his word for it.

I’ve come across theories suggesting that Marlon actually manipulated Violet into placing blame onto Brody rather than him, which is why she is on friendly terms with him but not so much Brody. And that’s a valid interpretation. There isn’t any solid evidence of this within the game to suggest either way, but I can definitely see how someone would come to that conclusion. Especially after the confrontation.

Now let’s touch on Violet if you appeal to her, because Marlon does something that makes me go “Hmmmm...”

Clementine, when she appeals to Violet, say, “Violet you have to believe me.”

To which, Marlon immediately steps in and says, “You don't. You met her, like, two days ago!”

He doesn’t even give her a chance to speak.

With Louis, he’s so overly confident that he has him completely wrapped around his finger that he doesn’t feel the need to say anything. He feels he has control over Louis. But with Violet, he feels his control might not be as strong, so he needs to remind her that she just met Clementine, whereas she’s known him for years- something he uses against the whole group.

And when Clementine tries to talk to her, Marlon takes a low blow and it’s super shitty.

“Don't let her get in your head. Hey, what would Minnie want you to do? She was my friend, too. So was Brody.”

He’s desperate to crawl out of the grave this situation has put him in that he’s willing to go this low, doing everything he can to make sure Violet doubts Clementine... and y’know, whose to say this is the first time Marlon is using Minnie to manipulate her? And when it doesn’t work, he gets frustrated like “Violet being difficult. Why am I not surprised?” which could suggest that it hasn’t always worked.

It goes back to what I was saying- Marlon tried to get close to Violet and she never let him. She was difficult to be around after the twins died due to her grief and Marlon struggled with that.

When he finally comes clean, this is where the real shift happens with him and Violet. You can see the hatred burning on her face every time the camera pans over to her now that she’s felt betrayed by him and his actions.

Right before Marlon dies, if you choose to say nothing, Violet will step forward and start saying that he doesn’t get to stay, but gets cut off when AJ shoots him.

All in all, Violet is a big case against Marlon and a showcase of how far his manipulation as gone within Ericson.

[Marlon’s office and foreshadowing of motivations]

“Whenever someone goes outside the safe zone, bad shit happens. People die or disappear. I just... I could really use the help, Clementine. Taking care of these kids, it's not easy. I'm worried that if I don't figure something out, if...if I don't fix our food situation... I can't lose anyone else. We've already lost so much. Friends, siblings... I can't let another kid die. It could break us.”

Swinging back around, let’s talk about the rest of the scene in the office.

First off- it’s implied that Marlon uses the office as a bedroom given the mattress on the floor and some of his personal belongs laying about. Like the photo he keeps of him and Louis.

The bed isn’t for Rosie, we assume, since we later see her sleeping outside while chained up. This might be just because they wanted Rosie present for the confrontation scene but didn’t want her loose, so they put her outside when you’d think that she’d sleep inside with everyone else.

Or, maybe she just prefers to be outside when the weather’s nice, or they keep her as a guard in case something were to happen, that way she can alarm them.

Anyway, why does Marlon potentially sleep in his office rather than in a dorm? Or does he have a dorm that he’ll sleep in, but keeps the mattress there just in case?

Well, a show of authority, for one. Even if he does keep a dorm room, it’s likely that he made the office his own as a way to be like “The headmaster is gone, this is my office now. I’m in charge.”

Which makes sense.

And when you think about what Louis tells us about Marlon having all these sleepless nights and tough calls, it’s not hard to imagine him spending late nights in his chair going over different plans and stressing over the food situation/safe zone, as well as letting the guilt of the twins weigh on him to the point were he’s too exhausted to even leave.

Moving on to the actual conversation between him and Clementine. He does show a vulnerable side to her, which I like. He can feel the pressure he’s under and sense the loss he’s suffered. But...like before, looking at this knowing what I know, it’s not hard to see certain things in a different light opposed to what you’d see as a new player.

What’s interesting, though, is while I do enjoy this conversation and the bits of insight it gives to Marlon’s character, there is this subtle, slightly off undertone of the whole scene after the Rosie bit.

At this point, we’ve talked with Aasim and he’s planted the seed of doubt.

We’ve heard the story about the twins. Violet came and talked to us about it, we could visit their graves and learn that they died at this time last year. Anyone who has played any game or heard any story can pick up on that the twins are important. They’re not going to use these girls as some throw away lines. They’re going to come back one way or another.

We’re literally living in their dorm. The dorm that Marlon put us in. They’re heavily connected to Tenn and Violet, two important characters I previously discussed. Then, Violet comes barging into our room and talks about them some more.

It makes the gears turn, y’know?

And with Marlon being very insistent that they stay in the safe zone, it’s not hard to question the story about the twins. I went through and skimmed a couple play throughs on youtube to this scene and a lot of them were theorizing that the twins weren’t actually dead or something wasn’t right, some cracks are starting to show. Why else bring it up? Marlon being the one to push the dangers of the safe zone and everything with Aasim... it’s not hard to pick up that he might be hiding something.

The thing I find fascinating about people’s perception of Marlon is how they interpret his motivations when it comes to Clementine and AJ, and that can be tracked back to this scene.

We all know that he’s planning on giving them to the raiders if they come back. It’s a hard fact. Brody warned us before she died, and dialogue during the basement scene backs it up.

But the question I’m curious about is... when did this motivation begin?

When did Marlon decide that he would give Clementine and AJ to the raiders if they ever came back?

Because the text doesn’t tell us anything until Brody’s death, I feel like we all have a different moment where we believe that became Marlon’s secret motive, y’know?

In all my digging, I’ve read posts about this idea, people giving their thoughts on when they think Marlon secretly turned on us, or if he was ever really on our side.

One has people theorizing that Marlon saved Clementine and AJ with the intention of giving them away from the beginning.

So he saw taking these two in and earning their trust as an opportunity to save everyone else at the school [the people he cares about] rather than have to sacrifice anyone else like they did with the twins. Clementine and AJ were just a means to an end if the raiders came back.

Which is a rather sinister way to look at it and puts quite a negative spin on Marlon’s actions towards them - like how he’s willing to let them stay at the school not out of kindness but out of bad intentions, and every kind thing he ever did was to win over their trust so he could lure them out into the woods and do a trade if necessary.

The line “Take this. I don't want you gettin' lost.” gets pointed at a lot due to how Marlon says it, the infliction of it, and it’s theorized that the hidden meaning behind it is “Take this, if you get lost then I can’t make the trade.”

Same thing with “Just remember to stay in the safe zone. We need you to come back home in one piece.”

Which isn’t a wrong interpretation of this. You can totally look at this conversation between Marlon and Clementine as Marlon subtly foreshadowing his turn, or betrayal, at the end of the episode.

“...It's how we've kept ourselves from unwanted attention for so long. Well... For the most part, anyway.”

“I can't lose anyone else. We've already lost so much. Friends, siblings... I can't let another kid die. It could break us. Sorry. I'm just... There's a lot of pressure.”

“What, did you think I was gonna throw you out?“

Then there are the middle ground people who believe Marlon didn’t save Clementine and AJ with that intention in mind, but it started to appear as an option to him either a bit before or during the office scene. Y’know, it came as a passing thought that ended up lingering until he acknowledged it as a solution to a potential problem.

Again, pointing at the dialogue from before- him suggesting that he’ll do whatever it takes to keep his community alive... just like he did before.

And while he gets along with Clementine and AJ [or as some would suggest, he appears to be friendly], they’re not his family. He isn’t close to them the same way he is the rest of the school. and if he has to give anyone away, it’s going to be them, whether he wants to or not.

Marlon didn’t want to give Sophie and Minerva away, and he’s carried that with him up until this point. We see it manifest to a breaking point that lead to Brody’s death and, eventually, his own.

Finally, there are the people who believe that the idea of giving Clementine and AJ away didn’t occur to him until after the incident with Abel. After Brody panicked and told him about getting robbed, then Clementine claiming they met a man with different colored eyes who wanted food, and the realization that the raiders could be back.

This is where I personally stand when it comes to this idea. I believe that Marlon didn’t decide on this until he heard about Abel, and solidified it during the fight with Brody down in the basement.

But what about the dialogue in this scene that potentially has double meanings? Well, I believe that’s the writers suggesting Marlon’s turn and motivations rather than Marlon himself, if that makes sense. Like I said before, you could take nearly everything Marlon says as some sort of foreshadowing or suggestion of what happened to the twins, what his true intentions are with Clementine and AJ, and what will happen to him at the end of the episode.

That’s the thing- Marlon doesn’t ever go on a mustache-twirling monologue about how he knew he could use Clementine and AJ as trade if the raiders came back and that’s the real reason why he saved them, nor do we see him come up with the idea on the spot.

Hell, Marlon never admits to the player that he was going to do that. The most he says is, “Shut your fucking mouth! I made the right call. I saved the lives of everyone in this fucking school! If they came back... I'd do it again!”

Brody is the one who told us everything, and every time Clementine throws it back in his face, he tells her to shut up and threatens her with the gun.

But from what I’ve tried to gather about what Marlon and Brody talk about in the basement before Clementine gets down there...

Marlon: “Why can't you just do what I ask you to do?”

Brody: “Because we caused all this, and now we have to deal with it!”

Marlon: “I am dealing with it!”

Brody: “By tradin' more of us away? That's not fixin' the problem, that's runnin' away from it!”

[I’ll come back to this full conversation later when I go over the basement scene by itself. It gets pretty dark.]

Which.... yeah. So, I’m not trying to say Brody was lying or anything just because Marlon never flat out admitted it to us the player, I’m just saying that we don’t know for sure when he made up his mind about this since the game never gives a clear suggestion for the sake of his dramatic turn from friend to antagonist.

Did he have this idea from the start or did he come up with it during this conversation?

We don’t know, but it’s interesting to look at the different views surrounding this question and how it applies to Marlon’s character. Because yeah, if you truly believe that Marlon had this intention from the start, it makes all of his actions in this episode pretty scummy. And again, that’s not wrong because there isn’t an answer here.

I choose to believe that maybe the idea came as an unwanted thought in the beginning, but manifested into something real when he heard about Abel. He shared his plan with Brody, who didn’t want to go along with it.

And y’know what... let’s finally get into the basement scene and Brody...

Continued in Part 2/2

#twdg marlon #twdg character discussion #twdg clementine #twdg aj #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg aasim #twdg ruby #twdg mitch #twdg willy #twdg omar #twdg brody #twdg tenn #twdg sophie #twdg minerva #marlon character discussion #twdg #long post

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freakyama · 3 years ago

Note

Recs for well-written female characters and their mangas:

Jisoo from Sweet Home, an apocalyptic manhwa about people turning into monsters based on their desires. She is a guitarist who moves into the same building as the MC just before the apocalypse. She fits the 'badass' role easily but you can see that she is just trying to adapt to what has become a terrifying world. Her arc is a lot about moving on from what she lost before the apocalypse and it's wonderful to see her do that.

The main girl in the prequel, Shotgun Boy, also fits the badass archetype, I suppose, but she does not feel 2D either. She is intelligent and a capable archer. Very cool and good for life and death situations involving homicidal tentacle monsters.

***

Izumi Shimomura from Ajin. Although this manga centers around male characters (the majority of the cast is male) I think she is a good example of a well-written female character. Her arc seems to be about recreating her identity and becoming someone she is proud to be. She values her 'duty', which is to do her job and protect the citizens of Japan.

***

Han Sooyoung from Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint, a story about an office worker transmigration into his favorite apocalyptic webnovel. Although she enters the story about 1/10 the way through, she still becomes a member of the main trio: the reader, the writer and the protagonist, with her being the writer. She is a powerful, intelligent, quick-witted character who is very fun to watch. Her constant banter/arguments with the MC are very fun too. She earns several cool titles that are both major spoilers.

Jung Heewon and Yoo Sangah from ORV also deserve honorable mentions. Jung Heewon had an ordinary job before the apocalypse and now she judges good from evil with a sword. Her arc and backstory are just as important as that of male characters who are not in the main trio. Yoo Sangah was an office worker like the MC and, although she doesn't have fighting skills on par with other members of the party, she is still valued for her diplomacy skills and knowledge.

I should mention that every woman in ORV wears practical pants. Periods are also briefly mentioned, which is nice since most apocalyptic series like to ignore that people with uteruses have them.

***

Jisoo from Return To Player, a video game-style apocalypse manhwa. I absolutely love her. She is incredibly OP and the MC is glad to have her in his party. She has an ability which, if I recall correctly, gives her incredible power but at the risk of her losing her mind (the MC was supposed to check on her but he has completely neglected to and something bad will probably happen because he's a bad friend, but anyway). She's more than just a living weapon at the MC's disposal. She adjusts to the apocalypse really well at first but has a hard time once the action stops. Her issues mainly revolve around her parents but she is particularly attached to the MC (my theory is that he is her last tie to her life before the apocalypse).

***

Nayoung from The Surviving, a horror manhwa about tentacle monsters entering a school to kill teenagers (but it goes deeper than that, of course). Nayoung has a difficult relationship with her sick grandmother but she does still love her. Not wanting to go home and deal with being her grandmother's caretaker all weekend, Nayoung stays behind after school until she has to catch the late bus. Then the tentacle monsters come and try to kill them and Nayoung has to survive (along with a few other kids who stayed behind.) She's pretty smart and good at quick-thinking. I respect that she knows her limits, too.

***

This isn't even in the same ball park as TG or the others mentioned but I really like Tower of God and its ladies. We have the MC's ex-best friend who will do whatever it takes to make it to the top (hated by fandom but incredibly well-written, interesting and important to the plot A+ antagonist). We have a princess who got wrapped up in the MC's life because she found him interesting and decided to help him out, and she's a member of the most powerful gang in the Tower. We have another princess who is as powerful and clever as she is vain and prideful (love her). We have another princess who is very competitive and vengeful. We have a woman who can see fate and tries to guide everyone towards the right one (she is a very clever schemer). We also have High Ranker Miss Evankell of the Second Floor who is very powerful and sometimes very muscular and always GNC. Oh them there's the Khun ladies: side characters but very interesting.

(Tower of God is very popular among queer people so you should check it out if you are at all interested in weird magical worlds with politics and violence. Just... Just try it. I haven't even mentioned the male characters, or described the human My Little Pony that is the MC. It's amazing.)

Oh, I’ve been meaning to a check out a few of these series! Thanks for the recs anon, I hadn’t heard of some of these! 😊😊

#asks

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omg-imagine · 5 years ago

Text

⊱ Where We Stand ⊰

Request: Can I request a Hotch x reader where Hotch won’t warm up to the reader even months after she joined the team then they’re taken together by an unsub and while they’re waiting for the team to find them Hotch confesses he has feelings for her? -Anon

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: Mention of kidnapping

A/N: I got stuck while writing this tbh but I hope it turned out alright. Enjoy!

You didn’t know how to explain it, but you were pretty sure that your boss Aaron Hotchner didn’t like you. He hasn’t said anything that confirmed your theory, but with the way he was acting cold and unfairly towards you, there was no need for it.

You were quick to notice the little things— how he doesn’t say good morning to you or how his eyes seemed to glance away whenever you walked into the room. He often assigned you the brunt of the work, like doing paperwork or having you deal with uncooperative cops.

Truth be told, you’ve spent a few late nights nursing a glass of wine and thinking about what you could have done to rub Hotch the wrong way, but nothing specific came to mind.

It’s been nearly four months since you joined the BAU after graduating with top honors from the Academy. Almost all of the evaluators gave you glowing reviews, and other FBI departments had actually reached out, asking you to work for them.

Despite all of this, Hotch acted as though none of that mattered. You understood that he was still warming up to you, but it was taking too long. It was really affecting how he treated you compared to the rest of your colleagues.

You were no quitter, you only needed to be patient. There would come a time when you would prove to Hotch that you belonged on the team. He would finally see that you could do your job without someone else watching over you.

Perhaps then he’d start treating you right.

-x-

“I told you, you shouldn’t have come. You should have stayed at the police station like I told you to,” Hotch spoke with a slight irritation in his tone, but you only ignored him. You were more concerned with getting out of the zip ties around your hands, but all attempts were fruitless.

Groaning, you leaned against the back of the chair you sat on. “Do you really have to bring that up now? We’re both stuck here, and you’re acting as if this is my fault.”

Hotch, who was also tied up and sitting right behind you, let out an exhausted sigh as a period of silence washed over the two of you. The case the team was on had taken a turn when Garcia was able to track the unsub’s location using his phone. You and Hotch were the closest by, and at first, Hotch wanted to go at it alone.

Of course, you refused. As much as Hotch infuriated you at that moment, you knew storming into the building without backup was suicide, so you defied his orders and followed him. Somehow, the unsub was able to incapacitate you both. When you finally regained consciousness, you realized that he had brought you and Hotch into an old abandoned warehouse.

“What do you have against me?” You asked out loud, wanting to fill the unbearable silence. “You act as though I don’t know what I’m doing. News flash, Hotch. I was trained at the Academy just like you. I’m qualified for this position just as much as everyone else on the team.”

Hotch didn’t say a word, and you let out a bemused chuckle. “You can’t even answer because you don’t have one. I don’t deserve the way you’ve been treating me, Hotch. It’s been four months, and I’ve proven myself to the rest of the BAU that I can do this job. The only person not seeing that is you.”

“You do deserve to be in the BAU,” Hotch finally acknowledged in a much softer voice.

You shook your head as your eyes became fixed with the locked entrance in front of you— the door leading to freedom. “Then, why belittle me? I don’t get this “tough love” thing you got going on. If you don’t want me on this team so much, then fire me. I’m this close to resigning anyway.”

“I don’t want to fire you,” he said, almost apologetically. There was a slight pause as if he was trying to figure out what to say next. “I didn’t mean to belittle you. In fact, I think you’re one of the best agents I’ve encountered.”

“Seriously?” You scoffed. “Don’t lie to me.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Hotch turn his head to the side, and you did the same, catching his gaze. “I’m not lying.”

“Then why do you treat me differently?” You asked, and Hotch hung his head. “You know, I had so much respect for you when I first joined the team. I guess it’s part of the reason why I took the job at the BAU. Not only did profiling interest me, but I heard you were a great leader. The team works well together because of you.”

Hotch’s eyes flickered up to your face, and you could see the regret in them. “From the moment you set foot in the BAU, I was impressed by you. You’re bright, you have a great work ethic. It was just—”

He stopped before he could complete his sentence. You heard him exhale as if there was no going back from what he was about to say.

“I started having feelings for you,” he revealed, his eyes locking with yours. “There’s something special about you that drew me. Not only are you a good agent, but you’re a good person. You’re beautiful, and you care so much about others. I thought by being harsh on you would prevent me from becoming too attached, and I’ve always regretted treating you that way.”

You felt your heart pounding against your chest as you tear your gaze away from Hotch. You didn’t know what to think after his confession. You licked your lips and turned around once again, seeing that his eyes were still on you, gauging your reaction.

You were about to open your mouth to say something when you heard the distant shouting of yours and Hotch’s names from outside.

“In here!” You yelled out. Soon enough, the door burst open, revealing Morgan, who then alerted the rest of the team of your location.

Once your ties were cut, you stood by the doorway watching Hotch get up from his seat. Only then did you notice the tears pricking your eyes. You were glad that you had survived the ordeal, but what would happen now between you and Hotch?

Eventually, you found yourself sitting in an ambulance, getting a cut on your forehead taken care of. Across from you was Morgan speaking to Hotch, telling him how the unsub was going to use you two as bargaining chips before he was arrested. Afterwards, Hotch made his way to you, and you got on your feet.

“How’s your head?” He questioned, pointing at the bandage above your brow.

“Throbbing, but I’m still alive,” you replied with a soft smile. “Listen, about what you said back there—”

Hotch held a hand up. “No need to mention it. I promise that from now, things will get better. If you still want to resign, then I understand, but you do deserve to be here. I apologize for not making it seem that way.”

“It’s alright,” you reassured him. “I’m staying because this is where I belong.”

“Good,” he breathed out. “Go home, get some rest. You don’t have to worry about the paperwork, I’ll handle it.”

He gave you a smile before he started to walk away. Quickly, you reached for his hand and grasped it, holding him in place. He looked at you in confusion as you placed a kiss on his cheek and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

Once you took a step back, you noticed him furrow a brow, and you let out a small laugh. “What was that for?”

“I don’t know yet,” you responded with a shrug of your shoulders. “But I do think you owe me a drink for all of the crap you gave me. It’s the least that you could do.”

You winked at him, and immediately he blushed. “How about tonight?”

You pretended to think it over before answering. “I’m free tonight, but what about you? Don’t you have paperwork to do?”

Hotch shook his head as he lifted your joined hands, pressing his lips on the back of yours.

“I think the paperwork can wait until tomorrow morning.”

Tags: @arganfics

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner x you #criminal minds #reader insert #my fics #request

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loveisblindfanfictionbka · 4 years ago

Text

Love Is Blind: Chapter Four

Leandra and Melissa sat at the cafe table with Robyn and she told them about her conversation with Chris.

“So he’s got you thinking exactly what we’ve been telling you all these years,” Melissa mused.

“No, he just has me questioning if there was something in my marriage that I missed,” Robyn replied.

“I think you should meet him, Robs,” Leandra interjected, “you two seem to have a really good understanding.”

“No, we have a good thing going. I don’t want to ruin that.”

“I don’t think you want to be happy.”

“I do want to be happy but on my own terms. And I’m not ready. Talking to him made me think about my ex and just reminded me that I really still love him. And I don’t want to. I swear I don’t want to but something has this hold on me and-”

“We get it. Y’all were together for a long time.”

“It’s not just that. It’s- you ever meet someone and you just know that they’re it? Well he was it for me.”

“So what do you call this thing with Christian?”

“A friendship. I have no interest in making it more than that.”

“You ever been to therapy?”

“I tried it for a few weeks but I didn’t get anywhere.”

“Maybe you should try it again.”

“I don’t know.”

“Robyn, do you like being miserable or something? Is that the only thing still connecting you to Chris? Because if not, I don’t understand your apprehension to getting better.”

“I want to get better, I’m just scared of what that means.”

“Well Sis, you’ll never find out until you try.”

Robyn sat back in her office after returning from lunch with Leandra and Melissa. She didn’t have any appointments until 3 unless any emergencies came in so she had time to just think. She grabbed her phone and went to her dating app

A: Are you available to talk?

A few minutes went by before she got an answer

C: Sure, I just finished my last class. What’s up?

A: My friends think I should go to therapy

C: Ok. What do you think?

A: I’m not ready.

C: Why do you think that?

A: I don’t want to spill my guts to a stranger. Not when there’s someone who deserves it more

C: Deserves what? Your anger or your feelings?

A: My anger

C: So tell that person

A: I don't know where he is

C: So find him. I doubt your ex-husband was like some CIA type

A: Lol, no but I don’t think I’m ready to talk to him either

C: Do you ever think you’ll be ready?

A: I’m not sure

C: I think you’re thinking about it too much. Honestly, therapy should be for you and no one else. If you aren’t ready you won’t do anything but waste your money because you’ll fight everything at every turn. Nothing penetrates if you aren’t ready to hear it. And even if the therapist does happen to get through to you, it will not give you the closure that you’re seeking. The questions you want answers to, only your ex-husband can answer

A: I hate that you’re right.

C: Lol, there’s a lot of trauma that influences this rightness

A: Unfortunately. How are you? Was rude of me not to ask that first

C: You had something important to say, no worries. I’m fine. I was talking to my daughter and she wants a puppy

A: What kind?

C: Not sure yet. We’re gonna do some research before we make a decision

A: That’s good. I’ve had a lot of puppies be sent to my shelter because people didn’t pick the right dog for their lifestyle

C: That must suck. Do you have any pets?

A: No, I’m not home enough

C: Ah, understandable

A: would the puppy be your first pet?

C: No, I had a dog when I was a child but in my old profession, me and my ex were never home enough, it was always something with either my job or hers

A: That’s understandable.

C: You ready for your gala?

A: Physically? Yes. Emotionally? No. I’m working on convincing myself not to cancel

C: Is it really that hard?

A: Yes but I made a promise to my employees and stuff so I really do want to honor that

C: Do you need another incentive?

A: Depends on what you’re suggesting

C: How about a gift? Just for your effort of going to this event

A: And how am I supposed to get said gift?

C: I can mail it. Do you have a secure mailing address you would like me to send it to?

Robyn thought about her random PO Box that she uses when she doesn’t want to give out her work or home address.

A: PO Box 124, New York, NY 10003. Do I get to know what the gift is beforehand?

C: Nope. I’ll send it and make sure it arrives the morning of your gala. Think that’ll work?

A: I guess but I’m nervous about what it could be

C: You’ll see

A: And do you have a secure mailing address?

C: PO Box 762, Middletown, NY 10940

A: Upstate. Do you travel to the city every day or?

C: No, I have a condo near Columbia. I stay during the week then go home on the weekends.

A: How many hours of a drive?

C: Actually like 2 hours. It gives me some peace from the loud city life and gives my daughter some balance.

A: What’s it like up there?

C: Very spacious. I live in a somewhat rural part of Middletown. I have a couple acres of land surrounding my house.

A: I can’t even imagine what that would look like. Even when I lived in California, I was in the busiest part.

C: I think I appreciate it because I’m older now. I definitely enjoyed living in the city when I was in Cali

A: It holds a beautiful sense of excitement

C: Do you live near your business or far away?

A: I have an apartment nearby but I might start looking for a house soon. Maybe renovate a brownstone

C: That’s always a good deal. Would you rent out?

A: Nah. I don’t have the energy to keep up with being a landlord. It’s a job within itself

C: Very true.

A: I’m guessing you should be going, is your daughter school age?

C: She goes to a headstart program at a private school since she’s only 3 but they keep her until around 5 in aftercare. I usually have a late class today but I canceled it

A: Oh. Is something wrong?

C: No, I’d just rather not be out and about this evening.

A: Ah. Well thanks for talking with me. I got an appointment coming in soon

C: Anything major?

A: Nope. Just a check up

C: Well if you have time, I’d love to talk to you again

A: Talk or chat?

C: Talk

A: My clinic closes at 7 so I should be home by 8

C; And dinner?

A: I’ll probably grab something on the way home

C: So how about a dinner date then? We’ll eat and keep each other company

A: I’d like that

C: Great. See you at 8

A: See you at 8

Robyn closed her app then rested her head on her desk. She was drained.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what color is her dress? Jessica asked as she and Chris stood in the florist shop.

“It’s navy blue.”

“I think this corsage would be perfect. It’s simple, elegant and can be pinned to the dress instead of being situated on her wrist.”

Chris walked over the piece his sister was referring to. It contained a navy blue rose, a white rose and some baby breaths, “I like that one.”

“Do they deliver to PO Boxes?”

“Yea, that’s why I picked this shop and it’s fairly close to the Post Office where her PO Box is.”

“Why didn’t you just get her work address?”

“The whole point is to be strangers. Giving me her work address would defeat that purpose. She’s an established vet, I could probably look up her work address and find her, which, again, defeats the point.”

“Do you know what she looks like?”

“Not really. Her photo was a full body shot so the closer you zoom in the blurrier it gets. Same as mine.”

“And that doesn’t worry you? What if she’s ugly?”

Chris laughed, “what does that matter? We don’t ever plan on meeting each other.

Besides I’m not allowed to be nice to a possibly physically unattractive woman?

“You know that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just- I don’t understand this whole online dating thing”

“There’s nothing to understand because we’re not dating.”

“Yea. Right.”

“We are both in rebuilding stages of our lives and we like talking to each other. That’s all. If I was interested in more, I’d definitely would’ve insisted on meeting her or just moved on by now.”

“You told her about your nervous breakdown and suicide attempt. You haven’t even told your ex-wife that and you want me to believe you’re not dating.”

“Yes because we aren’t.”

“You’re buying her gifts?”

“I buy my friends gifts all the time.”

“You told her about Anesa.”

“And?”

“You talk almost everyday.”

“I’m not seeing your point.”

“My point is you’re dating this woman.”

“Jessica, big sister, I am not dating anyone. I like her, yes but that’s as far as it goes. I need a friend and she’s one for me. That’s it. That’s all.”

“You are so in denial, Chris.”

“I’ve accepted my situation, you’re the one with the conspiracy theories.”

“I’m just saying, I don’t want an ugly sister in law especially not after my last one. She was gorgeous and the point is to upgrade not backslide.”

“You get on my nerves, Jess.”

Jessica laughed, “is this all you’re getting for your friend?”

“Just because you said it like that, I am returning you home and finishing this adventure by myself.”

“Come on, don’t be like that Little Brother.”

“Then stop making this a bigger deal than what it is.”

This was definitely a big deal. Robyn stared at the box of things Chris had delivered to her PO Box and her heart melted a bit. The flower corsage with navy and white roses was beautiful. She loved the card that came attached but what shook her was the books he had gifted. One night they had stayed up talking about literature and she mentioned that she loved poetry but never had the time to really build up a collection. Wrapped with a red bow were two compilations of black poets. The note under the bow stated, “I’d like to contribute the first books to your poetry collection. It’s always good to start with the essentials (smile).”

Robyn grabbed one of the books and sat down in a chair just as Leandra walked in with her hairstylist beside her.

“What’s all this?” Leandra asked.

“My friend sent me a gift.”

“Your online friend?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, he must really like you.”

“I like him too.”

“Did you send something back?”

“I just got this, this morning so I’m still thinking.”

“How’d he get your address?”

“He doesn't have it. I gave him my PO Box.”

“Oh your stalker box.”

“Don’t start, Lele.”

“So how you feel?”

“I’m ok. I still don’t wanna go.”

“Girl, I ain’t talking about this stupid ass gala. How do you feel about Chris?”

“What am I supposed to feel? I really love the gifts but that’s it”

“I’m looking at your face and it’s more than that.”

“He got me poetry books.”

“What? You found someone to indulge your weird ass literature taste.”

“Look, just because you only like sex books doesn’t make my taste weird. I am cultured.”

“I have a master’s degree too so save it. How’d he know to get that?”

“We had a conversation about books and I told him I always wanted to start a collection of poetry but never had the time nor knew where to start and I guess he remembered.”

“What made him send you a gift?”

“It was a little joke about how he could get me to not back out of the gala. I honestly wasn’t expecting him to go through with it but he did.”

“A man who keeps his word. He really likes you.”

“I know.”

“So...still never gonna meet him in person?”

“That was never part of the deal.”

Leandra groaned as she flopped down on the couch, “are you at least gonna get some from somebody at this gala?”

“Ewww….no. I’m staying at most an hour then coming back home.”

“Have you talked to Chris?”

“Not today.”

“Do you only chat on the app?”

“Yea.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“I thought you would’ve gotten his phone number by now.”

“Nah, that’s too personal. I wouldn’t give my number to someone I haven’t met yet.”

“So meet him.”

“No.”

“Ugh….you get on my nerves, Robyn.”

Robyn laughed, “what’s your plans for tonight?”

“Getting the baby from his father and going home.”

“How is my nephew?”

“He’s good.”

“And his father?”

“Still alive, unfortunately.”

“Don’t do Max like that.”

“He gets on my nerves.”

“How?”

“He keeps asking me if we’re getting back together.”

“Aww...Lele, he still loves you.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“And you still love him too. You always playing hard to get.”

“Ch….I am hard to get. Thank you very much.”

“Is that why y’all keep going on vacations together?”

“If a man wants to take me to Puerto Rico or Costa Rica free of charge, who am I to say no?”

Robyn laughed, “Lord, what are we gonna do with you?”

“Love me, duh.”

Leandra stayed until Robyn was ready to leave for the gala. As she climbed into the back of car, she grabbed her phone

A: Hey stranger

A few minutes passed before she received an answer.

C: Hey. How are you?

A: I’m great. On my way to the gala

C: Still decided against an escort?

A: Yea. Besides, I don’t plan on staying there long.

C: Ah ok

A: So….thank you for the gifts. The corsage is perfect for my dress

C: You’re very welcome. My sister helped me pick that out.

A: Tell her I said thank you

C: I will

A: So what are you up to?

C; Laundry and grading work

A: What’s the task this week?

C: Students had to craft an original piece of music modeled after a piece they enjoy so I’ve been listening to music tracks all day

A: How’s it sounding?

C: I’ve gotten a few good ones but what passes for music and what these students are modeling their pieces after is awful.

A: That bad?

C: Some of these songs just can’t find a key and then when I listen to their reference tracks, I understand why. Music production has gotten so lazy over the years

A: You think so?

C: I’m gonna send you the best one I’ve heard and the worst one and tell me what you think

A: I’m getting homework now too, Professor

C: Lol. I just want you to hear what I’m dealing with

A: Send it. I’ll get back to you when I can

C: No rush. I’ll be home all weekend with this.

A: Cool. How’s the puppy search going?’

C: Good. We’ve narrowed it down to three puppies. I told her she has one week to pick one and then we’ll find a place to buy it.

A: As a shelter owner, please try and get a shelter dog. So many of them are good dogs that were in bad situations.

C: I will keep that in mind.

A: That’s all I ask

C: So what’s your plans after the gala?

A: Home.

C: Up for a video chat?’

A: Absolutely. I kinda miss your automated voice

C: Lol Same here

A: Anything else going on

C: Nope. I live a rather simple life.

A: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

C: To be honest, I’m not quite sure

A: Something giving you doubts

C: My daughter told me she feels sad for me

A: Aww...why?

C: Because I’m alone. It’s kinda hard to explain to a three year old the difference between alone and lonely

A: Lol true but then don’t explain with words, show her with actions. She probably thinks you don’t have a life and for children, they haven’t commanded the power and beauty of peace and stillness. They still have so much they haven’t explored

C: You have a point

A: Honestly, if you find things to do when she’s not around, she’ll probably feel a bit better about you

C: I’ll have to find me a new hobby then

A: What’s your current hobby?

C: I don’t really have one to be honest. My job involves music now so it’s not really a hobby anymore

A: It could be, it’s not like you make music for your class, do you?

C: Not recently

A; Do you sing, play instruments? What?

C: I have a decent voice but I play the piano, the guitar, and can do alright by the saxophone

A: What type of music do you prefer to play?

C: Nothing like an old school soul song. I love playing Sade records on the sax

A: I might have to compel you to play for me one day

C: I would offer to play tonight but my instruments are in storage

A: No rush. It’s just a thought

C: I’d love to play for you though

A: You making me feel inadequate

C: In what way?

A: The gifts. The music offers. Doesn’t feel like we’re on even footing

C: Well only you know what you have to offer. Find what works. I’m always open for gifts or moments

A: I’m gonna have to think of something. Thank you for the poetry books by the way. It’s a good start of a collection

C: The classics are always your best bet

A: I’m a little surprised you remembered

C: Why?

A: It was such an odd conversation and it was late when we had it, surely you wouldn’t have remembered it

C: That’s a weird assumption. If there is one thing I’ve learned from being married, it’s learning to listen just as much as you like to talk. Reciprocity is the key.

A: Very true.

C: Are you at the gala yet?

A: Just pulled up

C: Well I hope you have a good night for however long you are there

A: I hope they do the award ceremony first so I can get my award and leave

C: If I gotta try and find a life, you need to live yours. You never know you may enjoy the time

A: We’ll see. Talk to you later

C: Later

#chrianna #loveisblindfanfiction

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honeyrose-tea · 4 years ago

Note

this has been a strange start to the new year for sure. how are you doing? what did you think of the situation in the capitol? any thoughts or worries about the rest of the month? I'm curious to hear your thoughts on everything. -🌙

thank you so much for the ask💞 almost every day I check my inbox anticipating the next time I'll hear from you. just knowing that someone cares.... it really does a lot for my self-esteem. I don't have many friends right now and the few I do are very busy and have a lot of things they would rather do than talk to me. thank you for making time to listen to me and ask me how I'm doing. you wouldn't believe how many people don't. I haven't always been the most consistent presence for you and I'm sorry. I'm trying to do better and be less selfish because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of that. thank you for always being kind to me, pen pal.

there is a lot I want to say regarding the capitol and the situation in the country in general. as a social science student (and hopefully one day a professor!) these situations are of great academic interest to me. as a bisexual woman and an informed US citizen who cares about my rights I am also very personally vested in American issues. but first I would like to tackle your question regarding how I'm doing:)

I'm doing pretty good. classes have started back up but most of mine are online. I'm thinking of switching to online exclusively because of how much emotional (and sometimes physical) labor in-person classes are, and also for the sake of my health and my parents'. it's funny how so many things we did with ease before the pandemic seem so burdensome now. even small interactions are anxiety-inducing now, and I find myself having a hard time socializing even casually. like a muscle that has atrophied without use, my social skills are awful now. on a happier note, my productivity and creativity are both at all-time highs since social interactions aren't using up all my energy anymore. I brought my record player to my dorm room and I've been listening to a bunch of music, I've also been writing and recording some music of my own. I have a couple of demos and if you or anyone else is interested, I'll post them on here. once I record and edit full band versions I'll put them up on my soundcloud. I've tried sharing some of my stuff with some friends but none of them really care and I don't want to annoy them. besides, it's more for myself anyway. I wang to prove to myself that I can make music and that I can say something worth saying. a lot of my struggle over the past 6 months has been that I feel as though nothing I do or say can change anything, that none of my actions matter. I struggle a lot with control and I've been working on it for years, but it's still really hard for me. anyway. I'm enjoying class and what I do outside of it. I've been in my element living alone again (in my dorm) and feeling free to wear/do/say what I want, when I want. I wash my dishes and sing to myself and manage my time and drink lots of artificially sweetened and heavily flavored coffee without anyone around to judge me. and I get to cry and masturbate when I want, both of which are helpful in regulating my moods. I don't know. it's not like I'm doing anything exciting, but I am doing each thing I do well and with a happy heart. I feel like this portion of my life is something of a hibernation- the winter seasons combined with the pandemic have me in a cozy little daydream, reading and self-reflecting and getting back in tune with myself and my passions. I have a feeling that the spring and summer will be very vibrant bustling months so I am trying to enjoy my rest and soak in as much knowledge about myself and the world around me as I can. it's hard for me to live in the present and not get antsy (connected to control issues, I think) but I'm getting better at it. on the subject of the future, I've also been using this time to look into grad school and prepare for the GRE (a standardized test required for most grad school applications, similar to the ACT/SAT). I'm learning a lot that I didn't know since neither of my parents went further than undergrad, and I'm getting excited. I'm really looking forward to doing research. I've already been collecting some thesis ideas for an undergraduate-level thesis that I have to complete next year for the honors college, and hopefully I can turn that into a masters and/or PHD thesis when the time comes. now, on to more important matters than my silly little life.

I have very complicated feelings about america. I do have some attachment to some of the original ideas that are at the foundation- "bring me your huddled masses...", "all men are created equal", the general spirit of democracy, etc.- all of these are valid and worth keeping (in some form) to me. I think a lot of good people and ideas exist around us and I believe that we must be as empathetic and kind as possible to one another in order to navigate the current climate and preserve the good that we do have. that said, america was also founded on some pretty terrible, bigoted principles and our history- as well as our present- is marred by injustices. our society has become highly individualistic because of capitalism, and it has resulted in considerable division on every level. the competition that fuels capitalism is like an invasive species of plant, it does not only exist within our economy but it slithers out into our social world and the way we relate to others. I think capitalism coupled with our post-enlightenment founding is the source of most all of our problems as a country. capitalism has taken root in america in a way more malicious and all-consuming than in any other culture, because it was there at the beginning of our country and all of our social norms have grown out of it. many other cultures have existed long before capitalism and though it has modified their culture, it has not altogether become it. because america was founded on capitalism, we have no cultural identity outside of it. america is, itself, capitalism. that is precisely why america is experiencing all of the best and worst parts of capitalism at their most extreme. it is why, as I mentioned previously, we are perhaps the most divisive and competitive society in the modern world, and probably in history. we are the richest and most powerful country but we have the largest wealth gap and incarceration rate, among many other extremes.

all of this is to say that the rise of Trump and fascism in this country has been a long time coming, and unmistakably inevitable. to defeat it we will have to break america down to its fundamentals, throw out everything that is unethical and unjust, and rebuild our entire society from there. this is radical and hard to imagine, it will also be very difficult to execute, but I strongly believe that much of our societal systems just cannot be reformed, they must be thrown out and replaced.

the capitol riots were inexcusable and sickening but decidedly inevitable. this has been steadily building for america's entire existence. I think it will get worse before it gets better, as there are already plans for bigger and more numerous protests across the country in the following weeks. that said, I feel hopeful as I see the anti-fascist movement grow in the wake of fascism, I am hopeful as I see many people being radicalized and awakened to the realities of this country's failings. I don't know how exactly we will even begin to rid ourselves of the biases, prejudices, and downright hatred that plagues our country. I don't know how we will relate on an individual level to those with such deeply-ingrained hate in their hearts. I don't know how we will change our systems of government and economy to reflect new cultural values that we begin to build together. I am not sure what the future will hold. I do believe, however, that we will triumph over this moment and that the future will be better. I think that the only way to radically change and unite so many vastly different people and remove the blinders from their eyes is through a terrible, historic awakening like the one we are having now. the situation itself is awful, but I am hopeful that out of this mess we become a nation more committed to justice and to some of the ideals which we have falsely claimed to be emulating for our entire history.

so yes, I am worried about the next few weeks, months, and even years. there is no end to the pursuit of a just society, and I think every informed citizen is always a bit apprehensive about certain aspects of their culture. there will always be problems to combat and injustices to rectify, but I think that we will soon be moving to a better place, that we will remember these moments and say, "never again". I am hopeful, despite seeing some of the worst of humanity in recent days, that these atrocities will bring positive change.

I know that was long and instead of discussing issues about the capitol, or even just current political issues, I expanded the scope considerably and dragged in a lot of things from history and grander sociopolitical theories. still, I think it is hard to talk about the insurrection attempt without talking about a lot more. thank you for reading my takes and caring about them. I spend a lot of time thinking about these things, and it feels nice to share them with someone other than my annoyed professors who want me to shut up so they can finish the lecture and stick to their semester schedule.

I hope you're well and that you're staying safe and healthy. are you in school now too? have you or your family had the virus? thank you for coming to talk to me, I always enjoy it. I'll talk to you again soon💞

#pen pal

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notapaladin · 4 years ago

Text

tell the world that we finally got it all right

Instead of asking Acatl’s permission to court Mihmatini at the end of SotU, Teomitl asks Acatl’s permission to court him. When Acatl accepts, he finds himself falling in love over fierce determination, infectious smiles, and eminently practical gifts.

Also on AO3!

“I still have to get your permission to court you, after all.”

Acatl was absolutely sure he could not have heard right. Maybe he’d hit his head in the fighting and was just now realizing it. Maybe he’d fallen asleep and this was a dream. Maybe he was dead. But the city spread out below him was still lit by torches for the funeral vigils, and there was none of the acrid smell of Mictlan in his nose. He stared out at the light reflecting on the canals, felt a breeze ruffle his cloak, and tried to form words. “You want to what,” he managed, through numb lips that didn’t seem to be attached to the rest of him.

Teomitl was still looking at him, and still smiling like the dawn. “You heard me.”

He opened his mouth. He closed his mouth.

Now, it wasn’t unheard of for priests to marry; they were not allowed children, and were still prohibited from unions that could result in them, but for two men or two women to marry was an acknowledged...well, not precisely a loophole in the vows, but certainly a long-established and permissible bending. His own mentor’s husband had died before Acatl had met him, but the man had worn the single red-wrapped braid of a married priest until his own death. Still, it was one thing to know in theory that it could happen, and another for it to be happening to him. He was High Priest of Mictlantecuhtli. He dealt with rituals, and his temple, and the bodies of the dead. He did not—had never even thought he might, no matter his most secret desires—deal with the bodies of the living. And now Teomitl, the bright and beautiful youngest brother of the Revered Speaker, was casually bringing up the idea of courting him as though it didn’t turn his world upside down.

He took a breath. Good, he could still do that and not feel like he might faint. “...Why?!”

Alright, that sounded more like a strangled parrot, but Teomitl didn’t seem to mind. His gaze softened when their eyes met. “You’re brave. Intelligent. Patient. Considerate. A diligent and honest and honorable man, and I don’t meet very many of those.” Then he grinned, sharp. “And you’re very, very handsome, which doesn’t hurt.”

Acatl heard himself make a sound that wasn’t connected to any kind of word. His face felt like it was on fire.

“...That,” Teomitl added matter-of-factly, “was the short version. I can come up with the longer version once I’ve had a bit more sleep.”

He thinks all that of me—wait, he thinks I’m handsome? Me? Me?! An objection reared up from the stunned blankness of his mind. “I thought you were interested in my sister.” Yes, that made sense. Mihmatini was beautiful and strong, after all, and Teomitl should be interested in her. Not in him, a man of no great looks or fame or physical prowess.

Teomitl looked almost embarrassed at that. Almost. “...Your sister is very pretty, and I’m very impressed by her magic. But she’s not you.”

And it’s you I want, he didn’t say, but Acatl could feel the shape of the words between them. He willed his heart to dislodge itself from his throat. Yes, part of him was...was interested, he couldn’t lie about that, but there were more considerations at hand than just his feelings. There had to be. “And you still want me to teach you the magic of living blood.”

Now Teomitl actually looked embarrassed. Acatl wished he didn’t find it endearing. “You...are all those things I just mentioned. I know I need—that is, if you want to teach me, I want to learn from you. It’s just that...in addition...well.”

In addition, he wanted to court him. Acatl swallowed a few times until he thought he could speak without being half-choked by the shock of it. “...I’ll think about it. When this evening is over.”

There were still vigils to stand, after all. Teomitl seemed to relax at that, surprisingly; Acatl wondered if he was as nervous as he was at the idea of courting someone. If he was, it showed only in the new set of his shoulders. “Right. Let’s go, then.”

They went.

Unfortunately for Acatl’s peace of mind, the chants for the souls of the dead were something he could recite in his sleep, and so they provided absolutely no distractions. His head still felt like it was spinning, like any moment he might fall over and need Teomitl’s strong arms to hold him up. And he does have very nice arms, came a particularly traitorous thought from the back of his mind. He sternly told it to shut up. True, Teomitl was an attractive young man—he was sworn to Lord Death but he was neither dead nor blind, and had definitely noticed rippling muscles and that bold, warm smile—but that didn’t make marriage a good idea.

Even if he was brave and bold and honest. Even if he’d made arrangements for that old woman, Mazatl’s grandmother, to be provided for. Even if that smile had made an answering one curve at his own lips. Even if Acatl, as a High Priest, was surely a worthy match for a youth of imperial blood.

Even if…

When he finally went to his mat cold and alone as he always did—it had never bothered him until then, until someone had asked to share it—he closed his eyes and saw Teomitl’s smile on the inside of his lids. He thought of magic like sunlight, skilled and confident hands, a determination to live up to a dead mother’s valor that had led him to Tlalocan by his side. And he knew what answer he’d be giving Teomitl in the morning.

“Yes,” he’d say, “you can court me.”

Teomitl did not, surprisingly, fling himself into Acatl’s arms when he told him the good news, but he looked very much as though he wanted to. Acatl felt himself blush all over again at being the source of all the joy in his face, moreso when he bowed and said simply, “You honor me, Acatl-tzin.”

They were alone in the courtyard of Teomitl’s rooms at the palace. If they’d been a man and a maid, they would have had a chaperone; Acatl was intensely thankful that they weren’t and didn’t. If he’d had an audience for what he did next—what, in fact, he’d been thinking of doing since waking up that morning—he might have actually died.

He stepped forward, reached out, and took Teomitl’s hand lightly in his own. It was calloused and warm and fit perfectly against his, and he never wanted to let go. Teomitl’s head snapped up and his lips parted and Acatl thought oh no but resolutely ignored it long enough to say, “If you’re serious about courting me, shouldn’t you be calling me Acatl?”

Teomitl’s throat worked as he swallowed. “...Alright. Acatl.” Gods, he was flushed and a little stunned and it was...he was…

Lovely. Acatl met his eyes and felt a little like he had in Tlalocan—like he should be drowning, except somehow he was still breathing air. He was suddenly very aware that there was, technically, nothing separating them from a kiss. With difficulty, he forced that awareness down and made himself continue with what he’d planned on saying. “I’ve thought it over, and if we’re going to do this properly, we need to set some rules.”

Teomitl’s expression changed, and he held himself a little straighter—a warrior, not a young lover. Some part of Acatl’s brain applauded his choice. “Name them.”

Acatl had to look away, though he kept his hold on Teomitl’s hand. He’d come up with the rules that morning and had felt very smart then, but now the words seemed to be slow in coming. “You can’t give me anything worth more than two cotton cloaks.”

“That’s hardly anything at all!”

“It’s quite a lot for the average person, and I don’t have any use for needless luxury. Practical gifts only.” When Teomitl—pouting slightly—nodded, he continued, “While I’m giving you lessons in magic, I am your teacher, not your lover, and I expect you to take those lessons seriously. No flirting until we’ve put our supplies away.” He’d decided after considerable thought that he wouldn’t mind flirting in general, but there had to be limits for safety’s sake if nothing else. Heightened emotions and sharp objects didn’t mix well, even before you added magic.

That got a mildly incredulous look. “Of course.”

Huh. I’d thought he’d put up more of a fight about that. “No parading our relationship around at the palace until we’re—if we’re married, I won’t have your standing damaged by association with me—”

Teomitl choked, fingers tightening around Acatl’s to the point of pain. “Damaged by association—Acatl!” And now he was glaring at him, though there were no threatening jade ripples in his eyes.

Acatl blinked back at him. “...You have to have noticed Tizoc-tzin hates me.”

He grimaced, waving a hand. “Tizoc has fine qualities, but the ability to see past his own nose is not one of them. You are wonderful, Acatl, and anyone who doesn’t see that isn’t someone whose opinions I care about.”

Acatl’s blush returned with reinforcements. “I. Uh.” Then he shook himself, tried to gather his thoughts again, and came up with, “When Axayacatl-tzin dies, Tizoc-tzin will almost certainly be Emperor, and then he’ll be the one who decides whether you can marry at all. Please, Teomitl. Don’t antagonize him.”

Teomitl sighed. “...Very well. Though really, I think you sell yourself far too short. I did promise you the long list of reasons why I want to court you, didn’t I?”

“...That’s not necessary.” Mostly because he was pretty sure he’d spontaneously combust if one was produced, and he was starting to suspect that Teomitl was the sort to fulfill his promises to the letter.

Teomitl still didn’t look pleased, but he nodded. “If you say so. What else?”

He drew in a slow breath. Here was a rule he’d wrestled with, but it seemed fair enough. “...Absolutely no public displays of…” He gestured with his free hand, since it didn’t seem like Teomitl was going to let his other one go anytime soon. “Affection.”

He watched as Teomitl’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully and therefore saw the exact moment he spotted the gap Acatl had left in his words. “Hmm.” Then he took a half-step forward and tilted his face up, meeting Acatl’s gaze head-on. “We aren’t in public right now.”

Even though he’d been expecting it, the words still made his skin warm in a way he couldn’t blame on the sun. “No,” he agreed. “We aren’t.” And he’d known they weren’t, but having the knowledge laid out so plainly in front of him was a different beast entirely. He couldn’t tear himself away from the warmth of Teomitl’s eyes or that of the hand in his. Almost unconsciously, his gaze fell to the fullness of his lips. He’d never been kissed before, but he was very willing to try.

A pink tongue slipped out to moisten lightly-parted lips, and Acatl’s blood roared so that he almost missed Teomitl breathing a question into the air between them. “Can I kiss you, then?”

He swallowed hard. One kiss, whispered his mind. You can afford one kiss and still keep your self-control, still comport yourself with the dignity of a High Priest. But Teomitl was so close, so warm, and his mouth looked so terribly, terribly soft and tempting. He might take that one kiss—it was an impropriety allowed for a courting couple, surely—but he didn’t know if he’d want to stop.

So he stepped back and pulled his hand away, fighting back an urge to smooth his unruffled hair. His heart was still thumping erratically inside his chest. “...Maybe later. After we’ve seen if I can teach you anything at all about magic.”

It would have been easier if Teomitl was a terrible pupil. If he was rude or impatient or disrespectful, if he dismissed the very real risks of working the magic of living blood. Then Acatl could have looked at him, shaken his head, and declared that they would not suit—that his heart would be remaining safely ensconced in his chest, thank you, and not held out tenderly on a platter for someone else to tear apart. Of course he wouldn’t have been happy about it, but it would have been easier. He was used to being alone. He was half expecting it, anyway; surely a proud young warrior of imperial blood wouldn’t be willing to lower himself for so long, especially not in front of someone he wanted to court.

And so of course, Teomitl proved all his expectations false. While it was blazingly clear that he could be rude, impatient, disrespectful, and generally as abrasive as the rough side of an adobe wall, it was also just as clear that he was trying to temper all those bad habits. Not very successfully sometimes—there were times when he made comments that, if Acatl had been a much sterner teacher, would absolutely have earned a slap—but there was effort being made there. And it was equally clear that he was approaching his lessons with the sober and careful air of a man who was determined to learn, and who wouldn’t let himself be distracted for long even if he found himself visibly and adorably flustered each time they brushed hands. It was a reaction Acatl couldn’t blame him for; their lessons necessitated that they touch frequently, and frankly he wasn’t the only one affected. Teomitl was simply…

Well.

He was nothing like Payaxin. Payaxin had been eager and enthusiastic, each new lesson a grand adventure; Teomitl was eager, true, but his eagerness was tempered by a grave and intense determination to get each spell right, and the way his brow knit when the magic spiked out of his control or fizzled prematurely made Acatl long to smooth it for him—an impulse he most certainly had not had with his last apprentice. Then again...well, he hadn’t been courting Payaxin, and he was rapidly discovering that some things were very, very different when his apprentice was also the man who made it clear he wanted to marry him.

The man who greeted him with a smile and tucked errant locks of hair behind his ear. The man who he was not only allowed but encouraged to look at when he stretched like a young jaguar—though when he did that, Acatl couldn’t have torn his eyes away whether he’d been allowed or not. The man who not only listened to his lectures on spellcraft but made serious, well-reasoned suggestions for improvement. The man whose laugh made him want to grin back, joy sitting new and unfamiliar in his chest.

They still hadn’t kissed. It had been a month, and they hadn’t kissed. Oh, they were growing closer in other ways—after each lesson they would sit and talk or sometimes go out to the markets for more supplies, and Acatl would learn that Teomitl disliked monkeys, loved the color green, and enjoyed both watching and playing tlachtli, though he refused to bet on the results. Sometimes he would share the better stories of his childhood, and Teomitl would smile and share some of his own. Every time they touched, his heart rolled over like an otter in a stream. Yes, they were definitely courting.

But after that first day, Teomitl hadn’t asked to kiss him again. He was being as respectful and courteous as Acatl could wish for, and at this rate it was going to drive him mad. He heard his voice, watched his lips move, and thought Do it. Grant me permission to want you.

But he didn’t.

Granted, at the moment Acatl thought this they were winding down a lesson, and it was probably difficult for most people to work up the desire to kiss someone when you were actively bleeding. Acatl wouldn’t know. He’d woken up thinking about the sinuous curve of Teomitl’s spine and the dip where his shoulder met his bicep, and the images hadn’t left even while he was paying his devotions to his gods. He’d thought he could probably have driven the knife into his chest and not felt it.

Presumably, Teomitl was more easily distracted. He was currently trying to wrap a bandage around his bleeding forearm one-handed and doing a terrible job of it. As it slipped again, he swore and muttered, “Oh, come on—”

Acatl stepped forward and willed his hands not to shake. “Let me?”

It wasn’t the first time he’d patched Teomitl up after a lesson, but every time—no matter the nature of the wound—the sensation of warm, bare skin at his fingertips sent a shockwave through him. At first he’d dealt with it by being as careful and professional as possible, but…

He’d been so good. He’d denied himself so much. And Teomitl said he wanted to court him; surely it was alright to thrill over the feeling of his skin under his hands. So when Teomitl, leaned over, looking put-upon but trusting, he let his fingers trail over the sturdy bones of his offered wrist for a moment before pressing a fresh pad of dayflower to the short cut a few inches above it. Teomitl’s shiver had nothing to do with pain.

“...Acatl-tzin.” Acatl had heard his name spoken thousands of times, but never like that.

Against his better judgement, he lifted his head to meet Teomitl’s eyes, and the warmth in them struck him to the core. It was a good thing he could wrap and bind wounds in his sleep, because there was no possibility of him being able to tear his gaze away. Teomitl was gazing at him so softly, so—yes, he could think the word, longingly—that it felt like his chest had been hollowed out and refilled with warm honey and butterflies. He drew in a long, aching breath. Teomitl, he thought, and couldn’t bring himself to say the name aloud. They were much closer than he’d realized.

Teomitl licked his lips. “I…”

I could kiss you. He could. Teomitl was right there. And he was catching his bottom lip hesitantly between his teeth, which frankly made Acatl want to bite it for him. He could do it, too; all he would have to do was lean in.

“Can I…?” He barely recognized his own voice, never mind whatever he was actually saying, but it must have reached Teomitl’s ears anyway, because he tilted his face up, a flower towards the sun, in the clearest invitation Acatl had ever seen.

He lowered his head, feeling warm breath tickle his lips...and stopped. He couldn’t make himself close the distance, couldn’t make himself presume that far.

Teomitl whispered his name again. “Acatl.”

Yes, he thought. Yes. Call me by my name when you’re about to kiss me.

They were so close.

“My lords!”

The slave who’d burst into the courtyard looked terrified—as well he should, because Teomitl was glaring not just daggers but all manner of weaponry at him. Still, he held his composure admirably as he continued, “Tizoc-tzin and the Revered Speaker request your presence at once. Both of you.”

Acatl could cheerfully have committed regicide in that moment. He took a deep breath and stepped back, letting go of Teomitl’s arm with a pang. For a long moment, he had to stand with his eyes shut and his hands on the handles of his knives, praying for calm. It almost worked.

Then Teomitl muttered, “Surprised it took them this long,” and his equanimity vanished.

Irritation rose with a nasty, sick feeling of betrayal hot on its heels as he spun to glare at his betrothed. “Excuse me?”

Teomitl had the grace to look sheepish. “Ah. I. Uh. From what I’ve heard—of course they don’t talk to me about it—Tizoc has been trying to turn Axayacatl against you, except I don’t think he’s gotten that far since nobody’s actually forbidden me from seeing you, and it’s not like we’ve been doing anything that would give them cause to think—you won’t even accept gifts from me—anyway. I’m sure Axayacatl will continue being reasonable.”

“You could have warned me,” he snapped.

Teomitl bristled. “I was going to!”

The slave cleared his throat hesitantly. “Ah, my lords?”

Teomitl waved a dismissive hand. “We’ll be there soon. Leave us.” When the slave’s footfalls had died away, he fixed his gaze on the ground. “I didn’t think you’d care,” he gritted out, and Acatl had to strain to hear it. The breath he drew sounded like it pained him. “You didn’t seem particularly enthused about this whole thing in the first place.”

He wondered, distantly, if the sharp pain in his chest was how it felt when your heart broke. “Teomitl.” Further words failed him, so instead of relying on them, he reached out and squeezed Teomitl’s hand hard. You little fool, how could you think I don’t care? Can’t you see my heart in my eyes when I look at you?

Teomitl jolted, twisting so that for a moment Acatl thought he’d pull away—but then his head snapped up, and he fixed him with a glare through suspiciously shiny eyes. “Tell me I’m wrong!”

Ah. Evidently Teomitl couldn’t see his heart in his eyes. He inhaled, thought back over his actions of the past month, and had to admit that...well. Perhaps he had been a bit too hesitant. If Teomitl wanted him—and he clearly did—he would be twice and thrice a fool for denying himself what he wanted in return. His lips almost ached where they’d gone unkissed. “You are wrong.” His voice was low and even, and he was proud of himself for that. “I care very, very much. I would never have agreed to any of this if I didn’t. You are brave and honest and smart and yes, sometimes you infuriate me, but getting to know you has been the most…” He shook his head, unable to come up with the right words, and settled for the simple truth. “You make me feel alive.”

Teomitl looked stunned. There was joy leaking around the edges of his expression, but his face clearly couldn’t decide whether to start beaming yet or not. “...Truly?”

“I will never lie to you.” His heart was strangely steady; now that he’d said what needed to be said, it seemed his body had decided there was no need to panic. Besides, from the look on Teomitl’s face, his betrothed needed him to be the calm one, and that felt right. He couldn’t do much for him in this world of imperial politics, but he could do that. “Let’s see what your brothers have to say about us, hm?”

“...Alright,” Teomitl whispered back.

They held hands the entire walk there, discretion be damned.

It was quite a trek, which unfortunately gave Acatl ample time to regret his earlier display of confidence. I’ve never met Axayacatl-tzin, but Tizoc-tzin hates priests in general and me in particular. I can’t see this ending well. Even if Axayacatl-tzin approves, there will be a rift there, and it will be my fault. I’ll tear another family apart, just by existing.

When they arrived, laying their sandals neatly by the door, the audience chamber was empty of other petitioners. There was only them—and, at the far side, Axayacatl and Tizoc. The Revered Speaker sat beside a golden screen, not behind it, and when they knelt he bade them rise with a wave of his hand. He looked pale and shrunken, the skin stretched tight over the planes of his skull, but his eyes were clear. “So, you’re the man Our youngest brother intends to marry. The High Priest for the Dead. Cicuacen Acatl, wasn’t it?” His voice was a phlegmy-sounding rasp that made Acatl wince.

“Yes, my lord.” He kept his eyes lowered. They weren’t holding hands anymore, but he was acutely aware of Teomitl’s presence besides him.

He was also aware of the way Tizoc was glaring at both of them. No—at him. The glare was definitely aimed at him. “You see, my lord brother? Look at this—at this priest, who thinks he can meddle in the affairs of our family.”

“Tizoc—” Teomitl began.

“I see the priest,” Axayacatl said dryly.

Tizoc turned the edge of that glare on his own brother, gesturing between Acatl and Teomitl as though they’d committed some great crime. Acatl supposed that by his standards, maybe they had. “Then you must understand why this...travesty cannot be allowed to continue.”

“It’s been a month, and if We had not seen it for Ourselves We wouldn’t have known they were courting at all. They have been most admirably discreet. In fact…” He leaned forward, peered at Acatl for a moment, and nodded firmly. “This is the first time We have met him. Hardly the actions of a man seeking his own power and glory.”

Temporarily stymied, Tizoc changed his battle tactics. “Teomitl, you can’t possibly be serious about lowering yourself to—”

“I am,” Teomitl snarled.

With all three brothers in the same room, the resemblance was so obvious that Acatl couldn’t imagine how it had taken him so long to spot it. But where Tizoc’s anger was a sick, vicious thing, the snapping of a wounded dog’s jaws, Teomitl’s rage shone like the gold of a jaguar’s coat. It made him want to kneel again, but instead he took a long breath and thought Oh. That’s the sort of man I’m marrying.

“You want to marry him? To bring him into our family? That—that peasant’s son?!”

Axayacatl didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t need to. “That peasant’s son is still the High Priest of Mictlantecuhtli. Regardless of his origins, that makes him more than a fit match for Our youngest brother. I daresay his age may even make him a steadying influence, which We think Is sorely needed.”

“But he—”

Axayacatl ignored him. “Teomitl. You’re sure you want this man for a husband?”

“I do.” There was no hesitation at all.

“My lord,” Tizoc said. He sounded horrified.

The Revered Speaker continued to ignore him. All his attention was on Teomitl, who he favored with a smile even as he sank back on his throne. He had to clear his throat several times before speaking. “You have my blessing. You’re both dismissed.”

Tizoc’s eyes narrowed, fists clenching before, with something like a spasm, he made them relax. He looked as though he might have quite liked to tear Acatl limb from limb. Acatl remembered the sham of Neutemoc’s trial, remembered the way Tizoc had sneered at him, and felt the shadow of his own rage stir in his breast. Stir...and then subside, because Axayacatl was coughing and looked pained and he remembered with slowly rising dread that a man’s blessing meant nothing if he died the day after giving it.

But they’d been dismissed, and so at least Acatl wouldn’t show fear in front of his enemies.

They stepped into the next courtyard, and he realized he was shaking like the reed he’d been named for. Teomitl was steady and tense and immovable by his side, unaffected by how close they’d come to a disaster. He almost couldn’t breathe, never mind think. I knew this would happen. I knew Tizoc-tzin was going to oppose us. Now Axayacatl-tzin is dying and Tizoc will be next in line and when he’s crowned—when he’s crowned…

“...Acatl?” Teomitl’s voice held the careful, wary note of a man who wasn’t sure of his partner’s emotional state and didn’t want to see it get worse.

He didn’t bother to soften the blow. “I told you this would happen.”

Teomitl sucked in a breath and met his eyes. “Acatl—”

But now that the floodgates had been opened, he couldn’t stop. “Tizoc-tzin hates us. You for marrying beneath you, and me for having the temerity to rise above my station in life. You heard him—I may be the High Priest for the Dead, but to him I’ll never be anything more than the son of peasants. And you saw how Axayacatl-tzin looked; it will only be a matter of time until the council’s voted in Tizoc-tzin to replace him. He’ll never allow us to—” To live together. To be married. To be happy. I was a fool to think otherwise. He didn’t get a chance to say any of that, because Teomitl stepped into his personal space and grabbed his arms so that he couldn’t twist away.

Teomitl’s eyes burned, and his voice when he spoke was a growl like a jaguar’s. “I don’t care what he’ll allow,” he snarled.

And then he kissed him. Hard.

When he’d imagined his first kiss, he’d pictured something sweet and careful, something that slid against him like warm water. This...was not that. This was messy and rough, Teomitl’s tongue licking into his mouth and his fingers digging hard into his biceps, anchoring him to the earth as surely as the foundations of the Great Temple, and while his body had absolutely no complaints whatsoever his mind scrambled to catch up. He wasn’t sure what he ought to be doing with his own tongue, for starters.

Teomitl drew away, mouth red and wet. “I’m going to marry you. I swear, I don’t care if Tizoc is next to become the Revered Speaker, if he tries to separate us—”

Acatl kissed him back. It was the only possible outlet for the feelings raging within him, and he put into that kiss all he couldn’t say into words. I want you on my mat and in my life. I want to tie our cloaks together. I want to wake up next to you every morning. If you say you won’t let us be parted, I want to trust you...no, want doesn’t enter into it. I’m going to trust you. His arms slid around Teomitl’s waist and yanked them together, that lean body hard as stone against him, and he had to pull away for a heartbeat to breathe before sealing his mouth over Teomitl’s again. I might...gods, I might love you. Either way, I am never letting you go.

When they broke apart, chests heaving, he breathed, “Axayacatl-tzin has given his blessing. Let’s marry before we lose it.”

Teomitl stared at him, eyes wide. Then he sighed out, “Duality, I love you,” and all Acatl could do was kiss him again.

The first courting gift was not delivered to Acatl’s house, but to the temple; three palace slaves arrived early one bright morning to hand over a silver plate embossed with owls and spiders. Acatl, who had expected something pretty and impractical despite trusting Teomitl’s word of honor that all his gifts would serve a purpose, couldn’t even be upset at the expense. A trifle embarrassed, admittedly, but not as much as he probably should have been. It shone like a mirror, so clear and unblemished that he could see his face in it.

It wasn’t a terrible face, he supposed, but he really couldn’t understand what Teomitl saw that made him call him handsome.

Anyway, after he properly expressed his appreciation for that—really, he’d meant to only give his thanks, but Teomitl had beamed like the sun and then he’d had to kiss him—more gifts began to arrive. Jade hearts, magically imbued knives, warm cloaks for the dry season and straw cloaks for the rainy season. Things that would be useful for his priests, if not the kind of soaringly romantic jewels and flowers that a man in love was supposed to give his intended. Each time he took inventory of whatever Teomitl had sent him this time, he felt himself melt with the sheer rightness of it; the knowledge that he was being courted by a good man settled in his chest like a sleeping hound.

He wasn’t the only one. Ichtaca had begun to smile every time he saw Acatl, which might have been a touching reassurance that he was doing a good job if he didn’t strongly suspect it was more due to his choice in marriage partners. When a finely carved heart of celestial turquoise was delivered one morning—and where Teomitl had gotten his hands on that, Acatl couldn’t even begin to guess—Ichtaca announced it in the same tone a man might use for the birth of a new child.

He lifted his head from the ledgers he was reviewing. Gods, nobody had warned him that the life of a High Priest involved so much paperwork. When he shook out his writing hand, he thought he could have throttled Ceyaxochitl with the other. “That will be useful for when we need to track creatures from the heavens, at least.”

“Indeed.” Ichtaca hummed his approval. After a moment, he added, “Teomitl-tzin is...very generous.”

More generous than you know. Oh, their lessons still continued and Teomitl had kept those strictly and scrupulously professional—gods, Acatl admired him so much—but when their tools were set aside it was a very different story. Then they were free, and Teomitl spared no effort in showing him how much he wanted him. Acatl’s face burned in memory of how heated some of those kisses had gotten. “You think highly of him, don’t you.” The thought filled him with some measure of relief; it would have been a terrible thing to have a husband his Fire Priest disapproved of.

“A High Priest should have a husband,” Ichtaca said simply. “And Teomitl-tzin has shown himself to be considerate and kind. You’ve chosen very well, Acatl-tzin.”

He found himself smiling. I have. Gods, I have. “Thank you.”

And then of course, because he couldn’t have nice things for long, Ichtaca continued, “Oh, but I actually came to tell you that the Guardian is here for you. She’s awaiting you in the receiving room.”

Grimacing, he got to his feet. Ceyaxochitl never brought good news with her. He only hoped it wasn’t another senseless murder or room full of blood. Or another god in the Fifth World. Please, please let it not be that. “...I’ll go and speak with her, then.”

Delaying the advent of trouble didn’t make it better when it finally arrived, after all.

The Temple of Mictlantecuhtli’s receiving room, much like the rest of the complex, wasn’t especially ornate, but it had walls and a ceiling with a skylight, so it fulfilled its function. At present, it also had the Guardian of the Sacred Precinct waiting for him with a slight frown on her lined face.

She neither rose nor bowed. “Acatl.”

He inclined his head politely. “What news do you have for me?”

“Ocelocueitl is dead,” she said bluntly.

It took him a moment to place the name—it meant “ocelot skirt” or “jaguar skirt” and had been astonishingly popular among the young men of his calmecac days—but then he remembered the old priest of Huitzilopochtli and took a deep breath. Well, he told himself, you knew she would bring bad news. It’s only the shape of it that’s a surprise. “...I see.” He hadn’t known the old man well, but that didn’t make his death any less an upheaval. He didn’t really want to think of what it would mean at the palace.

Ceyaxochitl wasn’t giving him a chance to ignore it. “Tizoc-tzin has already appointed his successor, young Quenami. His father and uncles are all Eagle Knights, and his grandfather was Master of the House of Darkness.” A noble, then. She set her walking stick across her lap and met his eyes. “You should be prepared.”

He grimaced and had to swallow down the old familiar tide of bitterness accompanying the mental snarl of I didn’t ask for this! No, he hadn’t. But now that it was put in front of him, he would do his job to the best of his abilities. Still… “You knew I was ill-suited for politics when you put me forth for this position,” he muttered.

She was smiling. That was never a good sign. “Ah. But your husband isn’t, is he?”

The blush felt like it was spreading all the way down to his toes. He opened his mouth, made a slightly strangled noise, and tried again. “My—he’s not—” There were rituals. Ceremonies. Knots to be tied and incense to be offered, and he and Teomitl hadn’t done any of that no matter how much every one of the man’s sunny smiles and glorious kisses made him yearn for it.

She made a little humming noise, unrepentant. “Your intended, then. I admit, this isn’t what I meant when I said a close relationship with him would be to all of our benefits, but I can’t complain about the outcome. Good for you.”

“I…” It was entirely possible that he was never going to stop blushing. His face might be stuck like this for the rest of his life. Teomitl would just have to marry a tomato.

For a moment she seemed to be considering patting his hand sympathetically, but clearly thought better of it. “A word of advice from someone who’s been there—yes, Guardians can and do marry, wipe that shocked look off your face, you look like a concussed deer—is that everyone will fall over themselves to give you advice. Ignore them.”

He swallowed back the first, second, and third questions that sprung to mind and settled on, “I suppose you’re going to say that your advice is best.” Strangely, her meddling did make him feel a bit better; anything was preferable to thinking about his marriage and what came afterwards in front of her.

She shrugged. “My husband and I were married for ten years until his death. We never went to bed angry with each other, and we managed that by talking. If you keep your words bottled up inside, they fester and rot. That’s all I have for you, and I hope you take it to heart.”

He closed his eyes and remembered how he’d thought, so foolishly, that Teomitl could read the secret language of his heart when he didn’t let it show. No, he wouldn’t make that mistake again. “...Thank you.” He made to rise, and Ceyaxochitl didn’t stop him. “I ought to see to Ocelocueitl’s funeral as soon as possible.”

“Mm. Bring Teomitl with you.”

He stiffened. “I don’t need his protection.” Teomitl was strong, brave, and making great strides with his magic, but he was High Priest for the Dead and could take care of himself. He wouldn’t marry the man just to hide behind his shield.

Ceyaxochitl hummed noncommittally. “...Maybe. Maybe not. But you want his company, don’t you?”

He was glad he’d already turned away so that she couldn’t see his face, because he knew she was right. Yes, if he was going into a den of snakes, he wanted Teomitl’s light and warmth by his side.

At least it was a short walk to the palace with a small escort of his priests, though it did require him to change into his formal regalia. He hated his formal regalia. The dry season was cooler than the rainy season, but not cool enough to make the heavy cotton of his cloak comfortable, and the less said about his feathered skull-mask headdress the better. It never fit quite right, and tying it to his belt just made it smack against his hip with every step. He wondered if the bruise would be permanent.

Then he saw Teomitl heading out of the palace gates and promptly forgot all of that. It had been days since they’d been in each other’s company; he’d been busy with the temple, and Teomitl had had his other lessons. The sunlight rippled faintly where it hit the shifting web of magical protections over him, but that wasn’t what made him radiant.

No, that was all due to the way his face lit up when he spotted him. “Acatl!”

An answering smile tugged at his own lips. I love you. He hadn’t said it out loud yet, but he would. One day. “Teomitl.”

Teomitl bounded up to him, gazing at him with such open warmth that he briefly wished they weren’t in public. “What brings you here? Not—not that I didn’t miss you, but I know how busy you are.”

“The High Priest of Huitzilopochtli is dead. I have to collect his body. Ceyaxochitl thought there might be some...trouble...with his successor.” Even saying that last part made his face twist. Politics. Gods, I love my temple and I love Teomitl, but I could happily have gone the rest of my life without thinking of politics. The boundaries are far more important than our petty mortal concerns; is it too much to hope for fellow High Priests who see that?

All at once, Teomitl’s joy vanished, and he was once again the young warrior. When he squared his shoulders, Acatl found himself thinking of his imperial relations and wondering how he might look in turquoise and gold. “Not while I’m here.”

He didn’t know the way to Ocelocueitl’s chambers, but apparently his half-dozen priests did; they swept ahead of him, leaving him and Teomitl nothing to do but follow along in their wake. Acatl found he didn’t mind; it gave them a chance to talk uninterrupted, and when Teomitl took his hand he didn’t pull away.

Teomitl murmured, “I knew this would happen eventually. Ocelocueitl-tzin was old when I was born. Still, I wasn’t expecting it now.”

“Do you know anything about the new one? Quenami?”

He shook his head. “Nothing beyond what sort of family he comes from. You?”

“No.” And that worries me.

He didn’t say it, but apparently Teomitl could read it in his face just fine. “I’ll do my best to stop him from making your work harder.”

“I shouldn’t think you could make it any easier, with all the gifts you’ve been giving me.” There was no heat to it, though he couldn’t help the faint scolding tone that crept in; really, the courting gifts were wonderful, but he was sure it had to be making a dent in the imperial treasury.

“Those were for your temple.” He flashed Acatl a smile like the reflection of the sun on water. “I have a better gift for you. I hope you’ll like it.”

Despite his intentions, he smiled back. By now he was almost accustomed to the sensation of his heart turning somersaults in his chest. “I’m sure I will.”

But then they were ascending a broad set of stairs, and there was a man waiting outside a closed entrance-curtain with the familiar expression of someone who’d been politely-yet- firmly ushered outside while preparations went on. Acatl normally wouldn’t have given him more than a second glance, but that second glance revealed blue face paint, gold in his ears, and a fresh headdress of heron feathers set on top of long and tangled blood-matted hair, so he felt his heart sink.

The man looked them over with the same expression he might have used for something found on the bottoms of his sandals, and then he started to smile. It didn’t improve his looks. “Ah, the famous Acatl and his intended. Your priests have already taken charge.”

He dropped Teomitl’s hand, straightened his back, and wished he was just a handspan or so taller. “You are Quenami?”

“Mm. Such a pleasure to meet you both.” There was an attempt at a bow. Quenami was tall and lanky with a face that put Acatl in mind of some sort of malevolent heron, if herons had hooded eyes and a smile that didn’t reach them. “I look forward to many happy years of working with you.”

Acatl had been in his presence for half a minute and wanted a steam bath. Even his accent set his teeth on edge; it was the rounded, perfectly enunciated one of a man who’d grown up speaking the noble dialect all his life, and it made him want to check the hem of his cloak for field muck. “Indeed.”

Quenami’s smile only widened. “And might I congratulate you, Acatl, on your upcoming nuptials? Such a coup for one of your...humble origins. My lord Tizoc-tzin doesn’t think so, but never fear; I’m sure he’ll come around eventually, perhaps once Teomitl has finally proven himself as a warrior.”

Teomitl stiffened, hackles rising like a dog. Before his valiant, foolish lover could cause a political incident, Acatl laid a hand on his arm and took a deep breath. Quenami’s been High Priest of the Southern Hummingbird less than an hour. I will not punch him in the face. “He’s already proven himself admirably in my eyes, and since I am the one marrying him I don’t see that it’s any of your business.”

“As you say, Acatl.” And he was still smiling. Gods, Acatl hated him already. “I truly hope you don’t regret it later.”

They watched Quenami walk away. Acatl’s shoulders felt wound tighter than a drawn bowstring. Ah, he thought dully. Ceyaxochitl was right.

Teomitl broke the silence. “...He’ll be a problem, won’t he.”

Acatl nodded. He didn’t yet trust himself to speak. A problem was certainly one way of describing Quenami, but he could think of a whole string of others.

Teomitl sucked in a breath and met his gaze. “I won’t let him touch you.”

“You might not be able to stop him.” Such was the way of the world, after all. Not everything could be planned for. Not everything could be protected against. And Quenami, as High Priest of the Southern Hummingbird, would in all respects be his superior—a man with far more magical strength and noble connections than he could ever hope to have, no matter who he married.

His mouth twisted as though he’d tasted something sour. “I’ll try.”

“...I know you will.” Teomitl looked stubbornly valorous, and it made him want to kiss him. Since he couldn’t, he settled for touching his hand instead and hoped that his eyes spoke for him.

Apparently it worked, because his gaze softened. “I was actually on my way to give you a proper courting gift when we ran into each other, you know. I might as well hand it over now.” From the back of his belt, he pulled out a sheathed knife. The sheath wasn’t anything special, just dark leather, but when Teomitl pulled it out an inch or so the blade gleamed with a bright, metallic sheen. Copper? But copper made mediocre knives at best—

No, he realized in shock. Not copper. “This is…” As Teomitl pressed it into his hands, he almost dropped it in shock. Tarascan bronze. Expensive beyond the dreams of even some nobles, bronze wasn’t nearly as sharp as obsidian or flint, but it was so durable that you could throw it off the top of the Great Temple without making so much as a dent. And Teomitl was giving it to him.

“You deserve it.” Teomitl said it like it was a natural law. The sky was blue, water was wet, and he, Acatl, deserved a knife worth a king’s ransom.

He swallowed. He couldn’t form words. “...You know, I think I recall asking you to keep your courting gifts within a certain budget.” Well, not helpful words, at any rate. He could have kicked himself.

Especially because Teomitl was drawing back, brow knit with concern. “Do you not like it?”

“I do.” He inhaled, staring down at the knife. When he drew it out, the sunlight made the blade look like fire made solid. He didn’t need to test the edge to know it would be lethally sharp. A knife. He could have gotten me jewels or precious feathers or garlands of flowers, or beads to be braided into my hair like he’s always saying he wants to do for me. But instead he gave me a precious blade that can last forever, so that whenever I am armed I’ll think of him.

Inside the room, his priests were beginning to chant. He needed to be there. Grimacing at himself, he sheathed the blade and met Teomitl’s eyes again. “I love it. This is...gods, Teomitl, this is perfect. But I have a funeral to prepare.”

“Go. I’ll be waiting for you later.” His voice went soft. “I know how important your work is, and I’ll be the last one to keep you from it.”

Ah, he was in love. That was the feeling like a flood rising within him, the rich warmth that spread out to the tips of his fingers and made his blood sing. I love you. I love you, I love you. You’re growing so patient and diligent and good for me; how could I not love you? When you take your place in your brother’s court, your smoke and mist will fill the world. But it was too much to say, so instead he stepped forward, tilted Teomitl’s face up with a gentle finger under his chin, and pressed the briefest kiss to his lips.

When he drew back, Teomitl’s eyes were wide. Acatl had to smile at him. “I’ll come find you after this is done.”

Then he went inside Ocelocueitl’s chambers and joined his priests in the first steps of laying the old man to rest. And if his face was still a little flushed, that wasn’t any of their business.

They were married on the first day of the rainy season. It was a date that had taken some planning and a surprising amount of arguing between the royal calendar priests and the matchmakers from his calpulli clan, each of whom had a different opinion on the most auspicious day to make a good match between his Six Reed and Teomitl’s Ten Rabbit, but eventually they’d settled on the closest of their choices. Teomitl had warned him that Tizoc was still seething, but once they were married, there was nothing he could do about it.

That wasn’t the only logistical hurdle they had to overcome. He’d never imagined that so many people would have an opinion on where a High Priest married to a youth of imperial blood ought to live, but apparently they did and felt compelled to share them with him. At length. Even Mihmatini asked if he was going to move into the palace, and he’d shuddered so hard at the idea—gods, there was nothing, not even Teomitl’s love, that would induce him to share a roof with the other High Priests no matter how far away his rooms were—that she’d never asked again. When he put the question to Teomitl himself, the man surprised him yet again.

“I’ll move in with you, of course,” he said, and Acatl had been so overwhelmed with fondness that all he could do was kiss him.

Then there had been endless supplies that needed to be prepared—maize and beans and wild game for the feasting tables, flowers and feathers for decoration, entirely new cloaks and loincloths that needed to be woven. At least he hadn’t been expected to have an opinion on those. No, his function as the one marrying in was to wait patiently until the day before his wedding, when the first banquet was held. There was rich food, but he barely tasted it. There was tobacco, but he barely smelled it. There were fine gifts, but he barely saw them even when the Revered Speaker of Texcoco brought in a caged quetzal bird. All his awareness was on the fact that he was sharing the same mat as Teomitl, who smiled at him sidelong and, when a lull in the festivities permitted it, leaned over to whisper, “I can’t wait.”

He shivered, warm from more than just the hearth fire, and moved the hand nearest him so that just the sides of their pinkies touched. Neither can I.

And after the banquet ended in the small hours of the morning, his cousins descended to scrub him within an inch of his life while his uncle—his father’s eldest brother, taking the place his own father would have—recited what felt like the world’s longest speech on his responsibilities as a husband. After that came the rings of crimson parrot and pink spoonbill feathers pasted onto his arms, and then he was forced to hold very, very still as his face was adorned with glittering bands of pyrite flakes. He suddenly understood, intimately, why maidens were expected to spend the time before their wedding in prayer and contemplation; there would be no chance of him getting comfortable sleep that night. Still, at least he managed a doze.

He had a feeling he would need his energy for after the ceremony.

When night fell again and he was dressed in a variation of his formal regalia—a necklace of silver owls at his throat, jade flares in his ears, absolutely no skull-mask in sight—he was escorted outside to find his siblings waiting for him. Neutemoc was sporting the full garb of a Jaguar Knight; though his helmet was fashioned in a perpetual snarl, the face looking out from between its jaws was calm and set. Acatl found he wasn’t sure what to say to him.

Luckily, Neutemoc broke the silence before it could get awkward. “I never thought this day would come.”

“Neither did I.” He’d imagined contentment in a job well done. He’d imagined the security of knowing his place in the world. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined Teomitl.

“...Our parents…” Neutemoc began, and then shook his head. “It doesn’t matter how they’d react. What matters is that you’re getting married. If Teomitl isn’t a good husband to you…”

He thought of bronze knives and baskets of good, sturdy cotton cloth. He thought of a drawn sword and a sweet, bold smile. “He will be.”

“He’d better.” That was Mihmatini, resplendent in a bright red skirt and heavily embroidered blouse. The effect was spoiled somewhat by the deadly serious expression on her face; she looked as though she was going to a war, rather than a wedding.

Acatl smiled despite himself. Even though he was perfectly capable of handling his problems like an adult—he’d keep Ceyaxochitl’s words in his heart, for one—there was something deeply reassuring about the knowledge that his siblings stood in his corner.

“Come on, Acatl-tzin.”

Unlike him, Ichtaca was dressed in his full regalia, with stripes of black paint across his face and a cloak embroidered with spiders. He was smiling as he stepped forward to escort Acatl to the litter currently being supported by six strong men; it had been decorated with hanging curtains and a canopy of feathers, and Acatl had secretly thought it was far too much of an expense. Still, given that he wasn’t a maiden to be carried on a matchmaker’s back and of course he wouldn’t be walking to his own wedding, it would have to do.

He settled himself in the chair, closed his eyes, and—for what felt like the first time in a century—let out a long sigh of relief. Soon. Soon...I’ll be married. Teomitl will be my husband. We’ll be shields and swords in each other’s hands, and nothing and no one will part us in this life. He thought of Huei and how marriages could crumble, allowing himself a moment’s fear, and then he thought of Teomitl facing down his own brother’s rage and shook his head decisively. I won’t let that happen to us. Neither will he.

He had faith in that.

The trip to the palace gates passed in a haze. No matter how calm he was, his nerves apparently hadn’t gotten the memo; they were all but buzzing under his skin, and he had to clench his fists very hard and mentally recite prayers to his patrons until his heart and lungs remembered how to work properly again. Except then he was newly aware of the itch where the feathers had been glued on his arms, and that was somehow worse than pain would have been. Pain was an offering to the gods. Itching was just an annoyance.

But then there was torchlight penetrating the curtains, and his litter was being set down gently. As the curtains parted, Neutemoc and Ichtaca took one hand each to help him to his feet. He barely noticed them.

Ahead of him was the Revered Speaker’s grandest dining hall, and standing in the doorway was Teomitl in all his finery. He’d never seen the man in so much gold; it glimmered at his neck, his wrists, his ankles. The rings on his fingers were turquoise and jade, and his earrings were formed in the shape of eagles’ heads from which dangled golden flowers. The orange-and-black scorpion cloak he wore almost looked dull in comparison.

He took Acatl’s breath away.

“Acatl-tzin.” His voice was barely even a whisper. “You look…”

He cracked a smile. “Ridiculous?” He felt ridiculous. Traditional they might be, but wedding adornments really didn’t suit him.

But Teomitl looked awestruck, so he supposed he was wrong. “Incredible.”

Now Acatl was blushing, so to cover it—and to push down the sudden, fierce desire to kiss him—he cleared his throat and muttered, “Come on. Let’s get married.”

Incense had been burning for hours, but the torchlight still reflected brightly off gold dishes and the jewelry of the invited dignitaries. Acatl kept his gaze resolutely forward; all the guests had been at last night’s banquet, and it was none of his business what they thought of him dressed for his wedding. Teomitl enjoyed the view, and that was enough to light a hot little coal in his heart. Together they stepped up to the wedding mat past the fire that had been lit, and took their seats on either side of it.

The speeches began. Axayacatl gave the first one, mercifully short, but then it was his uncle’s turn, and after that one of Teomitl’s innumerable paternal relations started talking in a voice like a thousand droning bees. Then another one. Then another one. Grass grew. The waters rose. The Fifth Sun burnt out and nobody noticed. Acatl’s sole anchor to reality came when Teomitl reached over and took his hand.

It was a relief when Teomitl’s elder sister, standing in for his mother, knelt and laid their new cloaks and loincloths before them. Their old cloaks were removed, and the new—blue and green as the lake for Teomitl, gray and black as the dancing shadows on the wall for Acatl—were knotted over their shoulders. Acatl’s fingers shook, and he balled his hands into fists to stop them.

When the corners of each cloak were tied together, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. This is it. We’re married.

The rest were formalities, really—washing his mouth out, eating four bites of tamale, feeding four more bites to Teomitl who took them with trembling hands. The rest of the guests would feast, but not them. No, they were married now, and so they were being escorted to Teomitl’s chambers. As they walked, he felt the pull of his husband’s—his husband’s!—cloak as though it was attached to his heart instead.

And then they were alone. For the next four days, they would not be disturbed; at the end of that, unless something truly catastrophic happened between them in the interim, they would rejoin society as a married couple, and Acatl would wear a slender braid wrapped with red ribbon in his hair for the rest of his life.

But first, there was this. Their wedding night. He’d thought about it with increasing heat over the past few months, but thinking about it meant little when it was actually here. Acatl found himself swallowing down a spike of nerves. It will be fine. Teomitl loves me. Everything else can be dealt with. “So,” he said awkwardly. “Well.”

The look on Teomitl’s face said he felt the same way, which was a little reassuring. “Well,” he echoed. And then, slowly, he started to smile. “I’ve been looking forward to this for a very long time, you know.”

“...Have you.” He swallowed again, feeling his skin heat. His heartbeat suddenly sounded very loud in his own ears.

“Mm-hmm.” His husband stepped forward into his space, gazing up at him. His smile took on a teasing, hungry edge that made the memories of past kisses tingle against Acatl’s own lips. “I had a very...illuminating talk with a priest of Xochipilli to prepare myself. Did you?”

He hadn’t. It had seemed entirely too embarrassing to discuss with a stranger, and besides he was perfectly aware of the basic mechanics. But now Teomitl was looking at him and smiling like that, and there was a thick new sleeping mat just in the corner of his vision, and it was occurring to him that there may have been some gaps in his knowledge. “...I did not.”

“Well.” Teomitl set a hand on his chest over his heart and slowly—achingly slowly—started to slide it downwards. His eyes were molten. “Would you like it if I taught you some things for a change?”

He let his hands come to rest at Teomitl’s hips, suddenly exquisitely aware of the space between them. “Yes,” he whispered. His lips were dry. He licked them and watched Teomitl’s eyes follow the motion. “Yes, please.”

Teomitl kissed him, long and sweet. They made it to the mat together somehow, with his hands in Acatl’s hair and his own hands at Teomitl’s waist, and rolled until all Acatl’s feather decorations came loose with the movement. When they stopped Teomitl lay on top of him, so close their noses brushed, and smiled like the dawn. “Gods,” he breathed, “look at you.”

Acatl drew in a long breath. The air still smelled of incense, even here. “I’d rather look at you,” he whispered back. “Every day for the rest of my life. I love you, you know.” It slipped out so easily, between one breath and the next, that he knew it for the truth.

“Oh, Acatl.” On his husband’s lips, his name sounded like a prayer.

There was very little talking after that.

POSTSCRIPT: meeting the family

They were sitting in the open courtyard of Neutemoc’s home under the eyes of half a dozen slaves, servants, and whoever else happened to be passing by, so there was no impropriety in the gesture—but still, when Teomitl leaned back against his chest and beamed up at him, Acatl had to fight a blush. “Mazatl and Necalli are adorable,” his intended informed him. “I want a dozen of them.”

Acatl found himself smiling indulgently. He was allowed to curve an arm about Teomitl’s waist, and so he did. “And how many wives will you take for that?”

Teomitl jerked back, red all the way up his ears. “I—uh. Um, that is...”

Gods, he made his stone heart want to melt. “I wouldn’t mind.” He thought about the way Teomitl had roughhoused affectionately with Necalli and endured Mazatl’s endless curiosity. No, he wouldn’t mind his husband taking other spouses at all.

“I do!” Teomitl huffed. At least he was looking Acatl in the face again, eyes shining with conviction. “Acatl, you have to know I’d never marry anyone you didn’t want me to—I would never want to make you unhappy or let you feel like you’re anywhere but first in my heart.”

“I know,” he murmured. “But when you decide you want children of your own, I will be honored beyond measure to help you raise them.” He knew that his legal and social status would be more like a favored uncle than anything else, but he also knew Teomitl. Any children of his would be theirs.

“...Well.” Teomitl took a deep breath and relaxed back against him, starting to smile once more. This one held a teasing slant he knew well. “You don’t have to start worrying yet. I think I want you all to myself for at least a year or two.”

Then he was blushing in earnest, and Teomitl was chuckling, and the world around them was spun gold and honey.

#obsidian and blood #acatl #teomitl #teocatl #mihmatini #neutemoc #ceyaxochitl #ichtaca #quenami #tizoc #axayacatl #paladin writes stuff

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ukaiya · 5 years ago

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(TricoSecrets) - Analysis

A while back when The Last Guardian first came out, a series of tweets titled “(TricoSecrets)” were posted in succession hinting at verious little features of the game, some more “secret” than others. I’d like to go through each one of these TricoSecrets and explain each a little bit, sharing my thoughts and theories behind them:

(TricoSecrets) 1 - Take a look at Trico's movements when you are stuck in your journey, Trico might be able to hint at something!

This first “secret” is farily straightforward, if you’re stuck in the game unable to progress, one way the game will communicate hints to the player (apart from voicelines) is through Trico’s body language. I think a lot of players who struggled with this game simply didn’t think to do this, since it’s actually a major help when you’re stuck (though Trico will also get distracted by unimportant things in some instances, just like a real animal would, which may confuse the player).

The screenshot for this TricoSecret was taken secifically at the beginning of the game in the cave where the boy first meets Trico. After you pick up the mirror and return to Trico, the next step required to progress is to use the mirror to guide Trico’s tail lightning and destroy a bunch of rubble and wooden planks that are blocking the way out of the cave. If the player ignores Trico for a while before doing this, Trico will walk around the cave doing its own thing, like sniffing the ground, scratching itself or, in some cases like in this screenshot, scratching at the rubble blocking the exit (much like a cat or a dog scratching at a door to be let out...), providing a hint at what to do next for the player. I don’t believe Trico will perform this specific behaviour until after the player has the mirror, but I may be wrong as I don’t have solid proof of this.

Some other instances of Trico interacting with the environment to provide progression hints, off the top of my head, include:

- Trico playing with the chain (he will play with the chain with and without the jar attached, though with the jar he will actually grab it with his mouth and tug it):

- Trico playing with the see-saw/chariot (like the chain, Trico will show interest and play with it even when it is empty):

- Trico playing with the wall-mounted wheel found in the same arena as the see-saw/chariot. Trico will do this even without being commanded by the player, though I believe he will not actually successfully open the gates by scratching the wheel until the player commands it:

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(TricoSecrets) 2 - Concerned about Trico's wounds or ruffled feathers? Petting those areas might remove the stains and tidy up those feathers!

This TricoSecret hints at two of the functions of the pet command in The Last Guardian: Cleaning blood from Trico’s wounds and smoothing out ruffled feathers. This can be done by holding the circle button (O) near an affected part of Trico’s body while the boy is either climbing on Trico or standing very near, it will cause the blood to slowly fade out and the feathers to slowly flatten within a range of wherever the boy is petting Trico.

Though this feature is obvious to many, I have actually witnessed a few gameplay videos from different people where the player did not notice they could do this!

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(TricoSecrets) 3 - Feed Trico whenever you find a barrel, something good might come out of it if you do it frequently enough!

This TricoSecret is mainly referring to the unlockables in The Last Guardian. Several items can be unlocked depending on the number of barrels Trico has been fed in total:

- 32 Barrels: Homecoming Costume

- 48 Barrels: Horned Apparel

- 64 Barrels: Warrior’s clothes

- 96 Barrels: Fine Featherpainter

(Two more items can be unlocked that have no connection to the number of barrels fed: Badge of Honor and Enduring Attire, both of which are unlocked by completing the game once)

Since there are only 48 barrels in the game, the player has to play through the game at least twice to unlock every item.

Apart from unlockables, this TricoSecret may also be referring to how Trico’s temperament will improve after being fed a barrel in some parts of the game. It may even be referring to a more direct effect of the barrel feeding, Trico’s poop! However this seems less likely since mechanically I believe there is no correlation between Trico’s pooping and the amount of barrels it has been fed, I’m pretty sure Trico does this completely randomly.

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(TricoSecrets) 4 - Trico staring at a barrel with changed eye colour? Why not throw a barrel at Trico, Trico might be able to catch it mid air!

This is another one of the more obvious “secrets”, Trico’s eyes change colour when it sees a barrel. I personally find that waiting in place for a moment before throwing a barrel to Trico massively improves the chances of them catching it, I guess it gives Trico a moment to “calculate” and get into position.

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(TricoSecrets) 5 - If you keep petting Trico, there's a rare chance that you might be able to put Trico to sleep.(1/2)

Perhaps the key to it is to pet Trico in a comfortable looking, wide open area?(2/2)

This TricoSecret is divided into two separate tweets, perhaps to add a bit of a surprise without instantly revealing how to do this.

In my experience, getting Trico to sleep requires an open area, and continuous petting without letting go of the circle button until Trico yawns, lies down, and falls asleep. This seems to work as long as you are on top of Trico (not hanging off the side), though it seems to happen a lot faster if you pet their head. If you attempt to make Trico sleep in an area where there is not enough room to lie down, Trico will perform the usual animations and routine by yawning and lying down, but will immediately stand back up after lying down instead of sleeing.

Once Trico is sleeping there are a few ways you can wake them up:

- You can simply call Trico (the boy may whisper instead of yell if he is near Trico while it sleeps)

- You can jump up and down on top of Trico

- You can tug on one of Trico’s ears or tail

There are a few other possible ways of waking up Trico that I have not yet tested out but I am curious about, such as getting caught by a yoroi, approaching with a barrel, or using the mirror to summon lightning.

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(TricoSecrets) 6 - Other than Trico, there might be other creatures living in the valley too. Try looking for them!

This secret is hinting at the other life forms in the crater! Apart from Tricos, I have observed lizards, doves, bats, grasshoppers, moths, butterflies, fireflies, fish, millipedes and even tiny versions of the lizards. Frogs can be heard but I don’t think they have a physical presence in the game.

The screenshot specifically shows us one of the many lizards seen in the game. These lizards are particularly fascinating for me because they hint at a connection between the world of The Last Guardian and the Forbidden Lands in Shadow of The Colossus, much like the pool in the mirror room, which looks suspiciously similar to the pool in the Shrine of Worship. The only major difference between the lizards in The Last Guardian and the ones in Shadow of the Colossus is that none of the ones in the former have white tails.

At some point in the future I will make a post dedicated to all the small life forms of the crater, some of which I think no one else has mentioned before.

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(TricoSecrets) 7 - When Trico is stuck in a tight space, tackling and so forth can help in getting Trico unstuck!

This one is very straightforward, if Trico gets it’s head stuck in a hole you can use the shove/tackle command to help get it’s head unstuck.

I’ve noticed there are two different “head stuck” animations for Trico depending on the tunnel or window, one where just the head sticks out, and one where Trico will attempt to climb through the hole and get it’s head and one paw stuck in the hole.

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(TricoSecrets) 8 - Trico all worked up and agitated after a fight? Try calming Trico down by calling Trico out!

This secret tells us how calling out to Trico can help calm them down after a fight. Apart from fights, Trico can also become agitated by the presence of the other Trico, and after seeing a stained glass eye. Calling Trico can help it focus on the boy to stop it from hopping around too much, allowing the boy to climb on top and pet it to calm it down further.

The best places to pet Trico when they are agitated are in the “shoulder” area between the wings, and on the top of the head, with petting on top of the head being the quickest way to calm Trico down (though also once of the hardest spots to reach when Trico is flailing about). It is easy to tell when Trico has calmed down because its’eyes will stop glowing, the wings will stop flapping and its’ feathers will flatten (amongst other signs).

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(TricoSecrets) 9 - If you missed a hint, why not press and hold down the left controller stick? The boy will recall the most recent tip.

This TricoSecret is referring to the “meditate” command, which is, as stated in the tweet, done by clicking and holding down the left stick. This will make the boy sit down and the last hint or voiceline will play back, as if the boy was remembering it (even though canonically this would not make sense as the voice represents the boy in the future retelling his past).

Meditiation can be performed on any flat surface provided that nothing makes the boy move (such as Trico bumping into the boy). You can even meditate on top of Trico provided they are sitting still enough (the easiest way to achieve this is while Trico is asleep).

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(TricoSecrets) 10 - When butterflies are flying near the boy, could it mean that a barrel is hidden somewhere nearby?

A very straightforward “secret”, the answer is of course “Yes”.

I have nothing else to say about this particular one without delving into my own theories about the meaning of the butterflies. Mechanically, the presence of blue butterflies always means there is a barrel nearby.

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(TricoSecrets) 11 - Trico seems to be always howling at that area.

This TricoSecret is a nice nod to the plot foreshadowing that happens at several points in the game. Any time you exit to an outdoor area with a view of the white tower, sure enough Trico will take a moment to angrily call out to it, completely ignoring the boy. Sometimes they will even rear up on their back legs and flap their wings, as if attempting to fly up to it.

Even if the player manages to miss this at some point, it happens enough times throughout the game that the player is almost guaranteed to see it happen. It serves as a nice hint that the white tower is an important part of the game, and provides the player with a “destination” to keep in mind, as every time they see the tower they will be able to see how far they have climbed up through the valley, based on how close the white tower appears to be.

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(TricoSecrets) 12 - Looks like some sort of…nest?

This TricoSecret is one of the most interesting ones, because I never realised genDesign officially acknowledged the “nests” found around the crater (outside of the “An Extraordinary Story” book).

Appart from this nest above one of the antenna rooms, there exist two more nests in the valley, as spotted by NomadColossus in his “Exploring the Last Guardian” videos (1 and 6). One of the nests is located near the “Ico windmill”, seen from the very first outdoor area, and one is located near the building with the collapsed roof (collapsed by Trico after falling off a cliff after being attacked by the armoured trico). Images of the nests below are screenshots from Nomad’s videos:

And here is a piece of concept art for the nests (with some brief commentary) as seen in An Extraordinary Story:

I’d like to follow up with a bit of speculation:

My best explanation for these structures is that they were built by Tricos. The fact that the developers officially hint towards them being nests makes this very likely, and they do resemble a large-scale version of a nest a bird might make.

At first I thought these might serve a different purpose than being literal nests, since they look very uncomfortable to sit in (they appear to be made of wood planks, barrels, chains, metal railings, ropes and tree branches, amongst other things), however it doesn’t seem too odd when you compare it to real life species of birds who make their nests out of similarly uncomfortable materials, such as Gentoo penguins, who build their nests out of rocks. Another possible explanation for why these nests are made out of seemingly uncomfortable materals could be that there is simply nothing else around to build them with, as the valley mostly consists of human-made structures, so the Tricos resorted to using manufactured materials.

Something to note is that all these nests are either abandoned or otherwise unused and empty. To me, they look a bit too small for a Trico, and are possibly all failed attempts at building a nest in an inconvenient location. Perhaps the Yoroi purposefully destroy any Trico nests they can reach, so the only spots left are not particularly suitable for a Trico to nest in?

Whatever the reason for these nests being built, it seems to me that it was instinct that drove the Tricos to build them, which explains why they tried to build a nest around the statue (barrel dispenser) at the top of the white tower, which (presumably) looks like a Trico hatchling.

More on the statue at the top of the white tower here

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(TricoSecrets) 13 - No matter who's holding the stained glass, Trico hates it!

In some parts of the game, the Yoroi will come out of the blue doors holding a stained-glass eye shield, a smaller version of the ones seen hanging in different parts of the valley. If the Yoroi holding the shield is knocked out, it will drop it’s shield and the boy will be able to pick it up the same way he can pick up barrels and Yoroi helms.

Even with the boy holding it, Trico is still afraid of the pattern on the shield, as stated in the TricoSecrets tweet, meaning that it’s fear is so deeply rooted that it trumps it’s trust in the boy (except for on one occasion on the first visit to the white tower). If trico tramples the shield, it will break. It can also be broken by lightning, having an item dropped on it (such as a Yoroi helm), or from fall impact.

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(TricoSecrets) 14 - There are times when the boy can defeat the armour by himself.

This is referring to the boy’s ability to defeat Yoroi by grabbing onto their helmets and separating them from the rest of the armour. This can only be done if the Yoroi is first knocked out (after being tackled by Trico, for example). Defeating 10 Yoroi in this manner will unlock a gold trophy (Losing their Minds).

One of Trico’s ways of defeating Yoroi is similar to this, as Trico will sometimes grab Yoroi by the helmet and shake it’s head violently until the body comes apart.

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(TricoSecrets) 15 - For some post game extras, check out the item section under the options.

This “secret” is just explaining how to get to the item menu to equip any unlocked objects and apparel.

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(TricoSecrets) 16 - A wide variety of illustrations are displayed on the loading screen, among them you might come across some rare ones!

Now here’s a secret I had no idea about. I knew about the random illustrations in the loading screen, and I’ve been trying to collect them all as screenshots for a long time now, but I have never seen this whale illustration before. The rarest illustration I’ve seen in the loading screen is the different angle Trico render (see here).

Now that I know about this, I am particularly intrigued to see if I can spot any more of these “rare” loading screen illustrations in my next playthrough. I will definitely share it on here if I find anything unusual. I wonder how many there are in total.

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(TricoSecrets) 17 - The more missteps that he takes, such as being captured by the amours, the darker the tattoos will get.

This TricoSecret comes with a nice side by side comparison of the boy’s tatoos at their minimum and maximum stages. These screenshots have been taken at the exact same time and space (note the grass and butterflies in the exact same position in the background), so I assume these were taken in a developer build of the game.

Below is a diagram illustrating the 8 stages of progression that the boy’s tattoos can go through, from An Extraordinary Story:

Additionally, here is another, more abstract illustration of the boy’s arm tattoos, from a small booklet that came with the Japanese First Print limited edition of The Last Guardian:

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(TricoSecrets) 18 - Oh dear... what might this costume be?

I find the images they picked to show off these costumes particularly smart.

- The first image shows the Horned Apparel costume, which is supposed to make the boy look like Ico. In the photo they have the boy pushing a crate along the ground, which is something you do a lot as Ico since they are key components to a lot of the puzzles in the game.

- The second image shows the Warrior’s Clothes costume, which make the boy look like Wander. The photo again is contextually appropriate, since although the boy is removing a spear from Trico, he almost looks like he is attacking Trico with the spear, as if he were Wander stabbing a colossus.

Note the attention to detail on these costumes, such as the appropriate footwear based on the characters and the corresponding sigils on their clothes. The Ico costume even wraps bandages around the boy’s head just like the ones Ico wears.

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(TricoSecrets) 19 - It’s possible to break these pillars by drawing Trico to come running towards them. Someone, somewhere has seen it before…

To be honest, I have never been able to get Trico to do this myself, I’m not sure why. But it is definitely possible and well documented on YouTube.

I believe “Someone, somewhere has seen it before...” is referring to the 2015 e3 gameplay trailer for the game, where the first thing Trico does after appearing is knock down these exact pillars.

For a while I thought this was impossible to do in the final build of the game, as the exit Trico has to run from to knock down the stone pillars is different in design in the release version of the game; there is now a descending staircase instead of a flat corridor leading up to them.

Still, here is some gameplay footage from the finished game by Brian Davidson, who has managed to find a way to get Trico to knock down the pillars just like in the old build.

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(TricoSecrets) 20 - For some post game fun, there is this item called the "Fine Featherpainter". Wonder what happens when used on Trico...?

The Fine Featherpainter is one of my favourite unlockable items in the game, even if it is a bit finnicky and hard to control precisely. It allows the player to customise Trico’s plumage by spraying it with different colours.

Below are two screenshots of my custom Trico, who I painted to resemble a raccoon (complete with banded tail):

It’s hard to get the colours exactly where you want them as Trico moves around a lot (I recommend sending Trico to sleep before trying this) but the result can be very rewarding, as the colours never wash off (unless you manually remove them with the featherpainter or reset your save) and carry over between playthroughs of the game, so you can play The Last Guardian with your own unique Trico. The colours even show up in cutscenes!

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(TricoSecrets) 21 - Though we are far apart, the circle button binds us.

The last TricoSecret posted on genDesign’s twitter page.

This one is definitely hinting at the easter egg in Trico’s cave at the very end of the game. When the player presses the circle button, Trico’s horns will light up, symbolising the still existing unbreakable bond between the boy (now grown up) and Trico. Since we know that there are at least three tricos in hidden in the cave (2 extra pairs of eyes can be seen if the screen brightness is high enough), but only one of the three tricos’ horns light up, we can be certain that this is our bonded Trico:

Interesting to note: Though We Are Far Apart is also the name of the bronze trophy unlocked for completing the game for the first time.

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And that about wraps it up for my analysis of these “TricoSecrets”. Hope it was an interesting read.

Please feel free to request a “keep reading” break if this post is messing up your dash.

On the topic of twitter, I’ve recently started up a twitter account as a companion to this blog, where I’ll be linking to this blog whenever it updates and probably retweeting ICO/SOTC/TLG related stuff. It’s ukai_ya, thanks a lot if you check it out!

#long post #long post cw #the last guardian #tlg #last guardian #team ico #gendesign #analysis #observations #my stuff #my tlg stuff #tricosecrets #trico #ukaiya

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