#i will admit yes that its very difficult for me bc sometimes she does it all night and i lose sleep so its very frustrating

[cicidraws]

i really think jiggles has cat dementia at this point, if shes as old as the humane society says, shes very young for getting it. but going off what i read online about cats teeth and ages, she maybe 7-8 years old, twice as old as the humane society said she was. and i make sure her dental stuff is good and that shes getting all the stuff she needs. but god. its definitely getting hard, i have to make sure she knows where i am constantly, and she hates closed doors. she will meow nonstop even if we are just a room over, thinking shes alone. like its literally one meow, and not even half a second after, another, and another, and its so loud. i have to guide her to me often. and her bowls are filled fine and her needs are checked off, so its just a constant getting lost thing for her. she also has some eyesight problems and general cognitive declining. i just hope she doesnt deteriorate too quickly, it feels like ive only just gotten her even tho i got her in 2021 ):

[newswcanonprompts]

Slave Chips + Anakin Angst time

(who tf had this convo? whoever it was, all your body parts are going on the wall. kneecaps = TAKEN for making me fuckin cry)

The conversation started w/ a Anakin has chronic pain because of a very Loud force presence + all the fun stuff that comes from a childhood in slavery and formative years spent as a general in a war, and then talking about high vs low pain perception

And then Yui hops in with this:

what if Slave masters have technology in the slave chips where they can control their slaves pain perception--Low perception for when they work and high for when they get punished.

The jedi didn't know about it, Qui-gon forgot to mention the chip to the Council

and Watto " forgot " to turn it the high pain perception off as a way of getting back at the Jedi for “stealing” his investment

Oh my God what if anakin thinks they know and choose not to turn it off

WHAT IF HE THINKS THAT THEY'RE PUNISHING HIM FOR QUI-GON BEING QUI GON AND FOR THEM BEING FORCED TO TAKE HIM IN SO OLD

AND THAT FEEDS HIS BITTERNESS OF THEM

AND ALSO STOMPS HIS SELF ESTEEM

Because the pain NEVER stops.

So Anakin never says anything

It makes him think that he definitely cannot tell them about any injuries he has unless they make him unfit to work

And Obi-Wan constantly lectures him too and like he's already being punished he doesn't need to be verbally beaten down too

(note that it’s from Anakin perspective, the unreliable narrator of the year--Obi-wan actually has no idea about the chip)

And when he lashes out because it just HURTS and he can't contain it anymore, he’s berated AGAIN

Also, if the pain perception is controlled, that means the slave chip is still there, which makes the thought process he has about being punished for being taken so old even worse

And then, what if Kix one day finds a chip in Anakin's nervous system, he removes it, and Anakin begins crying with relief

And Kix goes "Sir Why WAS THIS TORTURE DEVICE IN YOU?"

He gets injured enough for emergency surgery and Kix finds the chip that way, meanwhile, Anakin can't have anesthesia for medical reasons, so he's dealing with the surgery awake and feels the moment the chip is detached.

WHAT IF ANAKIN IS FAKE NONCHALANT ABOUT IT BECAUSE ANGST

"Ah? Oh they didn't tell you? I thought it'd be in the brief. That's my slave chip. It's supposed to be there. It means they own me." And kix...kix is aghast.

the Jedi are all crying in a corner at the fact they let a CHILD be tortured for YEARS

Because Anakin admitted to a slave chip. Of being owned. And he calls obi-wan Master

Obi-Wan is absolutely devastated because he tortured the child who he was responsible for and he never wanted to do that and oh force, he's a monster (it’s obi wan so like. infinite sadness to the max)

The clones basically become Anakin's mother hens

WHAT IF THIS IS HOW THEY FIND THE CLONE CHIPS TOO

BC KIX GOES "IF THEIR JETII HAS A CHIP...ONE OF THEIR OWN... WHAT ABOUT US CLONES?"

Also the fact so if this is during the Clone Wars: they've sent Anakin in as a soldier without him even knowing he had a right to not fight

The Council decides immediately to take Anakin off the front and get to seeing a mind healer, before collectively drinking an entire bar under the table

Oh God did anyone ever explain to anakin. In depth. That just because they are called "Master" does not mean they own him?

AS A SLAVE, HE WAS ALLOWED HIS THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS. HIS MASTERS BEFORE DID NOT OWN HIS MIND. BUT THAT'S NOT THE CASE WITH THE JEDI, IN HIS PERSPECTIVE

(again, Anakin’s perspective, the Jedi didn’t actually know. This somehow becomes an eventual fix it lol.)

Like LOGICALLY Anakin knows that Master to them means teacher but he thinks it doesn't apply to him because they won him and he is still a slave

What if that's the reason he kept his marriage to Padme a secret, not because he was afraid of being kicked out of the Order, but because he would be punished for loving a free person?

YEAH BC SLAVES DON'T GET MARRIED AND PADME WAS NOT ONLY A FREEBORN, BUT SHE IS ALSO, IN HIS EYES, SO FAR ABOVE HIS STATION ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY

Oh, with the removal of the chip and the pain, Anakin gets high from the huge levels of pain-relieving chemicals his body has been producing for years to compensate.

Anakin living in constant fear of punishments, and that's why he always seems so high strung and on a hair trigger

Like!! This whole thing is a web of miscommunication and assumptions

Anakin assumes that the Jedi and whatever know about the chip and chose to keep it in.

He assumes he is still a slave if not in name, then in status

He assumes the council is constantly punishing him for Qui-Gon essentially forcing them to take him in and for his failure to adhere to their code.

He assumes Obi-Wan feels the same, or perhaps he cannot risk going against the council bc they're his elders and he still loves Obi-Wan, bc he sees that Obi-Wan does care for him

(but not enough to free you, a voice whispers in his head that grows louder every day)

Him talking about things with Palpy, thinking the man would be nice enough to free him...

the entire temple is just full of people drinking and crying over Anakin and Anakin himself is currently the most functional person around, trying to convince everyone it wasn't that bad

He doesn't realize that that makes it so much worse. He's all "Really, compared to my other masters. And to masters I could have gone to... you all were kind. I was lucky."

And they despair.

Because how could they still be given that earnest smile, of beautiful blue eyes, shining still with trust and love, when they tormented him, albeit unknowingly, for over a decade?

Anakin is just very relieved to be pain free, and that they didn't know so it wasn't on purpose.

Anakin: You all treated me so well! I had food and water every day, shelter and good quality clothing. You never beat me and my punishments, while sometimes painful, were done with no tricks without cruelty.

“You’re the best masters I’ve had.”

Mace, upon being told this by a very earnest and 100% honest Anakin, knowing full well how he made life difficult for Anakin and didn't like him much, cleared a whole bar of alcohol on his own

While the Jedi are crying, the 501st is willing to go on a murder spree. The Hutts are DEAD.

Everyone say bye bye Gardulla and Jabba

Anakin is just happy and relieved.

Yes there will be talking. He will have to establish boundaries, the order will need to regain its footing.

But Anakin is free, and he has so much love to give.

And now he knows that they never meant for him to suffer.

And maybe he's still high on being free of pain, but now he knows they genuinely cared for him and none of their kindness was because they wanted him to perform well. They were genuine.

Obi-Wan at one point just breaking down and holding Anakin to his chest and sobbing because how did he fail him so badly

meanwhile Anakin's just like "Master, it's fine, I'm fine. Hey crying wastes water, if you're going to cry over something it's gotta be something more major than this. I mean everything's fine, everything's better than fine now, I'm free."

Anakin not quite processing why everything he says makes Obi-Wan cry harder.

Quinlan must be very glad that he never tried to touch Anakin directly.

Anakin's self-flagellation issues are through the ROOF

[wienerbarnes]

Witch Bitch

Pairing: Bucky x Witch!Reader

Word Count: 3,943

Warnings: witch stuff, burning at the stake 😳

A/N: this is heavily inspired by american horror story: coven bc i recently watched and ive been binging all of it lately but its not necessary to know anything about ahs lol i kinda just used their fancy magical terminology and concepts bc they were cool🤪 

MAIN MASTERLIST

The best time of the day was breakfast. It was the time when Bucky, Sam, and Sharon were most often together. Sometimes training overlapped and they missed lunch. Sometimes missions ran long or friends were in town and they missed dinner. But the morning? They were all early birds, all awake by seven. They took that shared characteristic and shared breakfast together whenever they could. Bucky usually took care of the coffee, Sam usually took care of the eggs and bacon, and Sharon usually took care of the bagels, toasting them to perfection before slathering on a layer of cream cheese.

It was a moment of peace in their day. Quiet before the noise of the gym or the conference room or the jets or the private trainings or the interviews with prospective agents or anything else they do on a daily basis. It was a time for three friends to just sit and eat and enjoy each other's company as though they are just that: three friends. Not super soldiers or captains or special agents. Just people being normal. Normal doesn’t last long, though. It never does for them.

Bucky’s on dish washing duty this morning while Sam and Sharon chat idly behind him, waiting for him to finish so they can all leave together. A soft voice interrupts them, though, making the three of them stop what they’re doing because no one has access to this floor except for the people that live here - meaning them three.

“Who’s in charge here?” You ask.

“Who the hell are you?! How did you get up here?!” Sharon asks, ignoring your question.

You were in a long, flowy black skirt, slit cut in the left side exposing your leg, and a long-sleeve black shirt, tucked beneath the waistband. Think black boots cover your feet and a black hat sits on your head to complete your look. Bucky almost doesn’t notice the folded black umbrella underneath your arm as his eyes trail down the multiple chains and necklaces around your neck, falling between your breasts.

“I’ve been trying to find someone to help me but the people in this building are not very helpful. I figured I’d find who’s in charge myself, something that you all don’t seem to want to help me with, either.” You explain.

“The only way to even enter this building is through strict appointment and background checks, and no one’s even allowed past the nineteenth floor.” Sam explains.

“Why are you entertaining this? I’m getting her out of here.” Sharon says, moving to walk towards you to take you out of the building herself.

As she nears closer and closer, you wave your hand lazily, without taking your eyes off Bucky, the only one who hasn’t said anything this whole time, and Sharon collapses on the floor soundlessly.

“Jesus!”

“What did you do!”

Both Bucky and Sam panic as they rush to Sharon’s body on the floor. They frantically run their hands over her body, looking for the point of injury that made her collapse the way she did, but they find nothing. No holes, no blood; she didn’t even make a sound.

“She’s not breathing and she doesn’t have a pulse, what the fuck did you do to her?!” Sam yells at you.

You roll your eyes, “Okay, you got me. I don’t need help finding who’s in charge, I already know it’s you. I still do need your help, though.”

You’re ignored as the two men hover over their friend, unsure of what to do or what even happened to her.

“Oh, alright, move.” You order them, stepping over Sharon’s body.

You stand before her, lifting your hands to hover over her body before closing your eyes and letting out a deep and long exhale. Bucky and Sam watch as it takes only about seven seconds for their friend to suddenly gasp for air, jumping back to life. The boys crowd her once more, checking her eyes, her pulse, everything to convince themselves that she’s actually alive like that, and if she was even dead in the first place.

Sam finally looks back up at you from the ground, as though he just remembered that you’re there, “What are you?”

You smirk in response, ready to finally get what you came here for.

…

“So, you’re a witch?” Sam asks, the four of them now occupying a private conference room for some privacy.

“A witch who killed me.” Sharon adds.

“And a witch that brought you right back.” You reply, leaning back on your chair, leg crossed over your knee, slit exposing your thigh. Bucky’s eye twitch to look at your bare skin for a second before returning to meet your eyes.

“So… what do you do?” Bucky asks.

You smile at his innocent curiosity, “All witches don’t have one universal power. Some are clairvoyant, some do voodoo, some dabble in pyrokinesis, divination, transmutation, descendum,” You glance over to Sharon, who’s still pouting at you, “Resurrection.”

“And can you do all of those?” Bucky asks.

“Almost all of them, but I’m not here to talk about me.”

“Why are you here?” Sharon asks.

“You guys hunt the Nazi’s, right?” You ask, aiming your question towards Sam, knowing he’s the Captain in charge.

“Hydra, yes.” He confirms.

“Well, your Nazi’s somehow got a hold of my magic. And they are playing with very dangerous fire,” You begin.

Bucky interrupts, “We’re all for taking down Hydra, but, don’t you think you’re a little more… powerful than us?” He asks.

“Bucky!” Sharon slaps his arm, as though she’s shocked that he would ever admit such a thing.

“I am. But I’m not that powerful, either. Not anymore, at least. A group of those Hydra invaded the coven my sisters and I were at. I was the only one that escaped.” You tell them.

“Did Hydra take them?” Sam asks.

“No, they killed them.” You respond, growing irritated as the subject grows touchier and touchier.

“Can’t you just bring them back like you did me?” Sharon inquires.

“No! I can’t. Like I said, I’m not that powerful anymore. Maybe I’d be able to bring back a house full of dead girls when it was me and twelve others but it’s just me now. I wouldn’t come all the way over here if I had other options.”

Silence grows over the group as they process what you’ve gone through. Surviving through the massacre of your fellow witches and not being powerful enough to find the people that did it on your own. You’re vulnerable.

“So what can we do?” Sam asks, ready to join forces with you.

“Help me locate the men who did this so I can handle the magic part.” You tell him.

“What magic do they have?”

“Although witches control most of the magic, sometimes it can be taken on in… physical forms. Specifically blood. The blood they retrieved was from a witch that was skilled in Vitali Vitalis.”

“The alive within the living.” Bucky translates.

“There are two worlds: the living and the dead,” You begin to explain, “Vitali Vitalis keeps the balance between these two things and it’s one of the most difficult powers for a witch to master. Oftentimes it’s used to give parts of your own life, health, and energy to someone who needs it. But it can also allow you to take life from someone and give it to yourself.”

“Like immortality?” Sam questions.

“Not quite. Any witch can be killed with a knife or bullet. This kind of magic keeps you from dying of age. I’ve only ever known one witch who mastered it.”

“What happened to her?”

“She used it for evil, like this. Took the souls of hundreds in order to allow herself to live for almost three centuries. Until she was killed, of course.” You finish, a small smile on your lips knowing that she got what she deserved.

“What, you burn her at the stake?” Sharon jokes.

“Yes, actually. We did.” You tell her matter-of-factly, becoming more and more irritated at the fact that she doesn’t seem to take this is as seriously as you are.

Bucky interrupts, sensing the rising tension between the two girls, “So when we find these guys, you’re going to burn them at the stake, too?” He asks.

“Yes,” You say, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “The consequence of using magic like this for evil is death by fire. I hope you all don’t think the rules will change on account of these men being Nazi’s?”

“Well, we just have a different way of doing things -” Sam begin to defend

“Yes, I’m aware. The countless destruction caused by you and other militaries, the millions of innocent lives lost yearly, not only in the constant war and irresponsible handling of your nuclear and alien weaponry, but by incorrect prosecution. Not to mention the billions of dollars spent on your ridiculous prison systems that don’t work when actual bad people escape and the death penalty practices in certain states. I just figured my way was easier. And cheaper.” You reply.

Silence crowds over the four of them once more as they think over all their options.

“I’m in.” Bucky speaks first.

“Me, too. Even if I don’t like you.” Sharon follows.

“Feeling’s mutual, dear.” You smile at her.

The three of them look to Sam, waiting for his commitment as well.

“Alright. Let’s get to work.”

Plans were made, theories of location were thought of, and plans to execute the mission were put into place, all of which included you. A temporary room was given to you when the information of your lack of a place to stay was brought to light. Only for the duration of this mission, is what Sam told you, but you can spot the amount of love and light in his heart from miles away.

It was later that night, and you’ve since cleansed the room, going as far as to place a protective spell on the entire floor. You’ve lost too much already, and you’re not about to risk anything.

A knock at the door sounds and the visitor you’d been expecting has finally arrived. You walk towards the door, still in your clothes from earlier but now you’ve removed your shoes, and open the door to reveal Bucky.

“I was waiting for you.” You tell him.

“How’d you know I’d come?” He asks, stepping through the door when you step aside, silently gesturing to him to enter.

“I can hear your thoughts. You've been debating whether or not to come see me for the past thirty minutes. Your mind is very loud.”

“Tell me about it.” He mumbles to himself, thinking about the countless nightmares, voices, and all the other reminders of just how loud his mind was.

“You can ask all your questions, you know. I won’t take any offence. You’re just curious.” You tell him, settling on your bed, hoping he’ll join you and stop hovering near the door.

Luckily he takes the hint and takes a seat across from you.

“I’ve never met a witch before. A real one, I mean. Like, someone born a witch. Like Salem witches -”

“I understand.” You chuckle lightly.

“You don’t seem… afraid of me. Or, hesitant, rather.” You tell him, thinking about how he’s received your presence here compared to his colleagues.

“I was wary when you killed my friend, but… you just need some help, is all. I’m sorry, by the way, I’m not sure if I said it before, but, I’m sorry for what happened to your friends.” He tells you.

He’s very polite. But you supposed that’s not abnormal considering he got his manners from the 1920’s. You like it, though. You give him an appreciative smile before giving him the okay to ask you whatever he wanted.

“So you said that witches can master multiple powers but have one specialty; is yours resurrection?”

“Yes; it was the first power I ever exhibited when I was a teenager. I was about fourteen or fifteen. My next mastered skill is descendum and then clairvoyance, where I was in my twenties, or so.” You tell him as he looks at you with pure fascination in his eyes.

“What is - what is descendum?”

You pause, “The power to descend your soul down into the afterlife - to hell. And return alive.”

His eyes widened, not even knowing that was something someone can do; not even knowing that hell existed in the first place, “So, you’ve been to hell?”

“Yes. I’ve also been able to retrieve people from hell, their soul. A variation of my power of resurrection, I suppose.” You explain, not being too fond of that power; descending to hell.

Bucky sits in silence for a few minutes, and you let him. You can hear the question lingering around in his head; what he’s thinking. But you let him build up his own courage to ask it. You know he’s only scared of the answer; the answer you know he’s not going to like.

“What is hell like?” He whispers.

“It doesn’t matter what my hell is like. Everyone has their own personal hell they experience when they die.” You tell him.

Confusion clouds his features as he registers your answer.

“Is there… Is there no heaven?”

You smirk, “It’s nice that you’ve remained religious after all this time.”

“Yes, there's heaven. But only for the purest and most innocent of souls. And rarely do people escape life without sin. Everyone has evil in them.” You tell him, knowing it’s a harsh truth that no one wants to hear.

The people Bucky’s killed, the crime he’s committed, the families he’s hurt; it all passes through his mind. Everyone has evil in them.

“What was your hell like?”

“I’m not telling you that.” You tell him quickly.

Bucky ponders what his own hell will be like, after seeing the way you’re clearly shaken up about your own. The fall from the train. The man in a lab coat sawing off the rest of his arm. The needles poking through his skin in the middle of some facility. The chair.

He doesn’t realize that he’s looked away from you until he snaps his thoughts back to the present and sees he’s looking down into his lap. He glances up to see your face, your soft features and kind eyes staring at him. He glances from your eyes to your lips and back up again before clearing his throat, not realizing how close he got to you during his time here sitting on your bed.

“You know, I, uh, I should go. Thank you for, uh, answering my questions, but we head out pretty - pretty early tomorrow, so,” He trails off, standing and patting down his shirt to smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles in a nervous habit.

He makes his way towards the door and his hand touches the knob when he hears your voice, “Hey, Bucky?” He turns slightly to face you again, a hum to indicate for you to continue.

“Thank you for coming to see me. And thank you for all the kindness you’ve shown me. You’re a very good person.” You tell him sincerely.

He gives you a nod of you’re welcome before exiting.

He’s not sure if you told him that because you truly mean it, or if it’s because of the state of anxiety and existential crises you’ve put him in now that he’s going to be thinking about his personal hell, but he appreciates it, nonetheless.

He thinks you’re a pretty good person, yourself.

…

The mission goes off without a hitch. The combined skill of the Avengers’ stealth, spyware, and experience along with your magic and witchery makes for an easy capture of the men who killed your witch sisters and stole your magic.

It’s not long before the facility they were at was shut down and cleared out, arresting any officers and rescuing any prisoners or hostages, and the five men specifically responsible for the destruction of your coven are in separate custody. What’s left of the blood is returned to you, as well.

That’s where the group of you stand now, a decision to be made about the criminals you’ve captured. To be put in the maximum security prison floating in the ocean, or to be put to death by fire.

“I don’t believe in being the executioner of people.” Sam tries to convince.

You can’t help but let a laugh escape you, “Do you know who you work for?! Do you know who you are?!” You remind him.

“Those guys can’t escape the Raft.” He tries, referring to prison in the middle of the ocean you’ve heard about.

“You did.” You respond, knowing about when Steve Rogers took him out of that prison, along with other superheros.

You see Bucky and Sharon look between the two of you, torn between how these Hydra criminals should receive their fate. Staring into the hot depths of flames or rotting alone in a cell? Both seem to be too merciful, in Bucky’s opinion.

“This isn’t just running the facility or experiments, Sam. This is different. They were using dark magic to commit crimes. Maybe they should face the consequences of a dark-magic-punishment.” Sharon offers.

You don’t have time to be shocked at Sharon agreeing with you and picking your side before Bucky agrees and Sam is outnumbered. He stares at you and gives a single nod, allowing you to do this your way.

You smile, a silent thank you for giving you the closure and opportunity to serve justice to those who did you harm. “Off to Massachusetts, then.” You tell them, and Sam takes his seat in the pilot's chair, Bucky accompanying him in the front of the jet.

You take a seat, making yourself comfortable for the flight to Salem and you feel a body take the seat next to you. You glance up to see Sharon looking at you, but you notice she has something in her hand, offering it to you.

You look down to see a small plastic bag of fruit gummies. But not just any fruit gummies, you realize. Halloween themed fruit gummies. The pictures on the outside show the various options inside: witch’s hat, a broom stick, a melting pot, a vial, and a magic wand. Hilarious.

You take the gummies, though, accepting her attempt at a truce.

It’s not long before you and your temporary teammates find themselves standing before a large, empty field, multiple wooden stakes standing about fifteen feet tall scattered about with plenty of space in between.

You lead the walk to a group of them standing tall in line, so the men can be burned at the same time, as opposed to one by one. A group of large, burly agents lug the Hydra operatives along, behind you and the rest of the team.

Bucky hangs around your left, as to not be in the way of the black umbrella held in your right hand, and Sam and Sharon trail behind you. You can sense their uneasiness and tune out their worried thoughts. Everyone’s first burning is always an experience; they’ll get over it.

Bucky doesn’t seem worried, though. In fact, you can’t hear his thoughts this time around. But he still stands tall and straight, walking with confidence, so you make a safe assumption that he’s okay.

None of the men’s cuffs or shackles are removed, but thick rope is tied on top of it, around the wrist and looped around the waist, tying them to the stake. The cuffs are special grade - high tech Avengers vibranium - and they can be retrieved later once the fire burns out.

“Any last words?” You ask, more for tradition than whether or not you actually care.

They look scared, obviously not expecting their fate to look anything like this. You remember seeing Bucky tackle one of them in the facility, prying his mouth open to rip out a tooth, or what looked like a tooth, like a dog caught eating something it wasn’t supposed to. A cyanide pill.

Silence comes from them, except for one of them, “Hail Hydra!” He yells, as if that cowardly and pathetic phrase would change anything.

With a raise of your hand, seemingly with no effort, you wave it and the stakes all begin to rise up in flames. There’s nothing to spark, no twigs, no gasoline, nothing, and Bucky watches as the flames rise, growing stronger as they engulf the five men. They begin to scream, and Bucky looks over at you, as if to confirm you didn’t bring gasoline or something with you, and he sees a smile slowly grow on your lips.

They haven’t stopped screaming; they’re still alive when you turn and begin to walk back the way everyone came. Bucky follows, and eventually Sam and Sharon do, too, the other agents staying behind until the end to retrieve the cuffs and shackles that will survive the fire.

“So, now what?” Sharon asks, the air quieter as the screams have slowly stopped in the distance.

I can’t imagine what kind of paperwork follows this, “Back to the tower.” Sam responds.

“The coven’s only a short walk from here.” You say, not needing to elaborate much more. The men have been caught and brought to justice, but you still have a broken, battered, and beaten down coven to fix.

A friend of yours was meant to go by and retrieve the… bodies. Which you’re grateful for. But magic won’t help you fix the walls, the floors, mop the blood, or find other witches in need of an escape and a place to improve and master their powers. You have a lot of work to do.

As the view of the jet gets closer, you prepare to bid your goodbyes to the Avengers, your thank you’s as well. Regardless of your attitude towards them before, you couldn’t have done this without them.

A metal hand engulfs yours, pulling you back a bit as Sam and Sharon continue on.

“Do you need any help?” Bucky’s warm and gentle voice floods your ears, hand still in yours.

“You guys have been more than enough help, now, really.” You try to tell him, but he has none of it.

“You may be tough, but you can’t fix up that house by yourself,” He tells you, “I can be pretty handy, fixed up a few things back in my day.” A soft smile grows on his face.

You glance over his shoulder as Sam and Sharon wait by the entrance of the jet, “Don’t you have to go back?”

“They won’t miss me.” He tells you, not even looking back to confirm with his teammates, hand dropping to run it through his hair.

You giggle at him, before giving him a shy nod in answer to his offer to help you fix up your big house.

“I’m going to hang out here for a few days.” He yells over his shoulder.

“We figured.” Sam calls out, and Sharon throws you a wave as they board the jet, the opening close after them.

“Lead the way?” Bucky offers you, taking your hand once more, interlocking the fingers this time.

And so the two of you are off, one of your hands still clutching the umbrella, holding it above your head, and the other hand interlaced with the one of a handsome and kind super soldier. This wasn’t the way Bucky expected the last two days to transpire, but he’s glad they led to holding the hand of a very pretty witch.

[tartagliaxx]

I finally finished Inazuma Archon quest and I have so many things in my mind.

Spoiler maybe (????????)

1. I wanna slap Ei so so so so so so bad. Like, uhg, damn.

2. I think I'm in love with Yae Miko, be my mommy ma'am 🥺

3. It bruns me to the core that Childe is one of the fatui, after seeing all the things they've done and how they don't really care about human life... I feel like, uhg, out of love with him? I still like him but then my brain says "He's not too different from Scara, he tried to drown Liyue, what if he would have succeeded?" I'm having a crisis here. Childe the househusband and Childe the heartless fatui, I hope in this new event we can learn more about him but still... I feel salty.

4. I cried like a baby, Teppei, I'll miss you so much.

5. Archons are selfish, I don't trust them no matter how attractive and daddy like cofcofzhonglicofcof they can be.

Okay, I finished! In general a good story, however, the ending was kinda rushed? Hehehehe Thank you for reading, I just wanted to share this with you 💕

🤷🏻‍♀️ Anon

so uh… well… hm… i have a lot of things to say abt the inazuma archon quest and aha… majority of them are… not good </3 i wont bore u w it tho bc istg i could write a full 180 pages just ranting abt whatever the hell that was. i did share my thoughts utc abt the points u made tho

ei is… well i dont really know what to say abt her. i like her design and her playstyle but how she was written? eh… i’m not the fondest unfortunately. i cant say that she’s not endearing sometimes tho.

yes. i worship one (1) yae miko 🧎‍♀️

lol. well… as his self-proclaimed first wife, i feel like i need to defend him but literally, with what?? i made an in-depth analysis over this b4 and idk if you read it but it was in an ask and i discussed my take on househusband childe and canon childe. the way i see it, scaramouche and childe are different. they’re both evil, yes, but their ambition, reasoning and way of things make them different kinds of evil people. in my eyes, childe seems like the person who would avoid unnecessary innocent deaths but wouldn’t hesitate to cut them down for his own goal. on the other hand, i dont think scaramouche would even bother w his dubious morals. now dont get me wrong, death is death and im not justifying his murders. i’m just saying that to a degree, childe does care abt human life. after all, he values his family. i find it hard to believe that whenever he does kill, he doesnt, for a split second, see his family’s faces. it’s just that he values his own ambition over life and its not any better but i think it’s a vital point of his character. one thing i like abt childe is that he’s not pretentious and the game also does a good job of portraying him as a harbinger. childe has never tried to pretend as if he’s a misunderstood villain. no, he admits that he’s a bad person who has done bad things and the game doesnt make it anymore or less than it’s supposed to be. yes, this guy is bad. there’s no justifying that. he was introduced from the get-go as someone we should be wary of and we were. ngl tho, i dont think him succeeding in liyue would affect anything. first, his plan was never going to succeed bc zhongli was ready to fix things if the qixing proved to be incompetent and second, because childe already has red on his ledger even b4 the game started. he’s canonically ‘evil’ and ‘immoral’ in that sense. tldr, liking childe means a.) liking the complexities of his canon character and psychology, b.) liking the fans’ portrayal of childe and c.) a little of both. i think you fit in the b category in which case i feel like you should avoid letting the canon bleed into your views bc it’ll be quite stressful? difficult? to think abt. i really do think it’s easier to think of those as two different people bc the way househusband childe could become canon is very different from the househusband childe you probably have in mind.

sigh… teppei you would be missed… i hope you had more development and roles.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok so i have a lot to say abt this but i’ll get to the gist. ‘selfish’ would be a good term but i also feel like it’s lacking. rather than being ‘selfish’ i think they’re more ‘human.’ they’re no different to the mortals save for their ageless and powerful nature. every day, we receive stimulus that make us react differently, possibly immorally which i can assure you, none of these archons believe they were immoral. ei, for example, believed an unchanging inazuma would be the best way to safeguard her people from the pain of loss. zhongli also thought that him leaving liyue to the hands of the people is a gift and so is venti’s lack of overseeing presence in mondstadt. we cant say they’re wrong bc their principles are also fundamentally different from ours. similarly, i can’t say for sure that if i were in their shoes (which is to say i am a god who experienced years of war, faced millions of loss and did smth that was against my morals), i’ll be any less ‘selfish.’ the only reason i could react negatively rn at ei’s actions is bc i know what it means to be mortal and to waste away but in her eyes, she probably cant comprehend the human dislike for stagnancy. how could she when she’s been stagnantly herself all these thousands of years? the truth of this matters remains to be that these archons thought they were right (just like human decision in their day to day drama) and the choices they made are flawed similar to how humans would make choices that cant be agreeable for everyone. but yes. don’t trust anyone for that matter

the entire thing was rushed. wish it took a different turn but eh- i hope this was a good reply lol. i got carried away and ended up rambling abt my cluttered view of some things. hope you dont mind <33

[bitchiha]

Can you please make HCS for sasuke, madara and hashirama (naruto too but I want to bother yo😢) and how they'll deal with their pregnant s/o? When the bump start to grow and their mood swings, weird food combinations and pregnancy struggles in general? Also when their s/o becomes 10 times more affectionate with them and is just soft and clingy. Thank you!💞💖💗

A/N: thanks for the request! I know I was a little slow getting to it but man I’m so swamped with life rn lol 😔 uhh also I swapped Madara out bc I felt like I didn’t make it accurate enough and so I physically couldn’t bring myself to post w his headcanons so I subbed naruto in

✎ Pregnant s/o!! (Sasuke, Hashirama, Naruto)

Sasuke Uchiha

!!I’ve done some headcanons for Sasuke + a preg s/o over here before, so His will be a bit shorter!!

He’s surprised when the baby bump actually starts showing because he didn’t actually believe he was going to have kid. So it really starts to settle in at that point.

Will make sure to be extra cautious around you to make sure nothing bad will happen to you or the baby. He’s in full force protective mode, of course he’ll play it cool but know that he’s got your back.

He’s used to his own mood swings, but when you start getting them he’s like?? What do I do? He’ll be tolerant asf though like you can call him every name in the book and then hug him five seconds later and he’ll just be there like: it’s apart of the process I guess. He can really keep his cool through a shocking amount of insults.

When he starts seeing you eating the weirdest food combinations he is confused, but he won’t say anything because he’s already experienced your mood swings and is not about to trigger them again by saying anything. If you offer him some he’ll just say no and back out of the kitchen, he doesn’t really need to get a snack.

Oh boy the clinginess. When it starts to happen he’s a bit shocked, but he assumes it’s apart of the process. (He assumes everything’s apart of the pregnancy process tbh.) I know he lowkey likes it, I know deep down he digs that clingy shit. Of course he won’t outwardly admit that, but the fact that he isn’t putting up a fight at you smothering his face is a good enough sign.

He will probably very sneakily get a book from the library about pregnancy instead of asking someone about it. Over his dead body would he ask someone like Hinata or Sakura about this stuff. So he consults a book, it was difficult bc some of the stuff he was shook to read about, but he managed to finish it.

Once the book’s finished he feels like he’s prepared for any pregnancy struggles you may have. Still somehow manages to internally flip his shit when something happens. He’ll try his best to help though.

Hashirama Senju

He’s so excited when he finds out that you’re gonna have a child together. Like a child of your own that you’ll both raise to be an amazing shinobi. Ugh he’ll be daydreaming about his kid until you actually have the child, then he’s in shambles, but that’s another story.

Will flex the fact that he is gonna have a child to anyone and anything in his path, which is kinda not a good idea. He also tightens security for the house just incase. He will be so protective bc he’s the Hokage and that makes you and the baby more vulnerable to possible attacks.

Probably yaps Madara and Tobiramas ear off because of how much he’ll talk about you and the baby. Like every five seconds he’s like “I’m having a kid lol” and tobiramas just like shut the fuck up (he’s happy for him tho.)

When he first sees the little baby bump he’s so fucking hyped. Like he’ll probably come up to you randomly just to place his hands on it. He’s like “that’s my kid in there wow.” Honestly he’s just so excited like that man is a ball of happiness.

He’s gonna be kinda shook about some of the pregnancy struggles. Like when you start getting mood swings he’s like so confused at first. He just figures it’s cause of the baby and so he’ll try and hug it out. You could have just called him a bunch of names and he’s just gonna be like “shut up let’s just hug it out.”

That usually does the trick and when it doesn’t, he’ll sneak out and let you fume for a bit before he comes back and tries again.

Enjoys the clinginess 100%. Like he loves it. Its a nice change from the bad part of the mood swings. While you’re cuddling he’ll play with your hair and have a hand resting on your belly. Then you’ll both talk about what you want to name the baby if it’s a boy or a girl, what you think they’ll be like, if they’ll have his eyes or you hair. (He prays they have his hair bc let’s be real it’s lucious asf.)

Like idk I feel like I need to emphasize the fact that he really does love the soft clingy side you’ll get. If he’s working a lot he will sometimes bring you to work with him, will let you lay on a couch in his office while he does his work.

He will have to refrain so hard from laughing at the weird cravings you’re having. Like if he walks into the kitchen and sees you eating some next level crazy meal he’s gonna need to back out of the kitchen and calm himself down. Then he’ll walk in and be like “hey honey, whatcha doing?”

Just because you knew he was laughing and what you were eating five seconds ago you’ll force him to eat it with you. Then he’ll be all like “I’m the hokage! I can’t get sick! Not like this, anyways.” Then he sees your face and he’s like: shit. So he ends up eating with you. Will pretend it’s good but he’s dying on the inside.

When you’re too tired to get out of bed some days he’ll definitely try his best to make you feel comfortable. Will use an earth style jutsu to put flowers around the room to entertain you while you’re in bed. He will also make your weird pregnancy craving meals for you while you’re in bed. And yes, he will laugh to himself the whole time while he makes it.

The closer to the pregnancy he gets the more he daydreams about your kid. He’ll get so excited and will think about all the things he’s gonna teach them.

Naruto Uzumaki

I feel like him and Hashirama would have similar reactions to a lot of things. Like when he first finds out about your pregnancy he is so hyped and will tell literally anyone. Thinks about his future kid all the time. Will probably suggest to name the kid after some type of ramen.

He’s the most immature about dealing with pregnancy stuff. Like I know I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt but.. let’s be real here he’s freaking out the whole time. That’s not to say he isn’t gonna try and be helpful though, like he will genuinely try his best to help. It just won’t end up the way he wanted it too.

Will ask Sakura about what the heck he’s supposed to do, she’ll probably be super helpful and will try and give you some weird special food pills to help you keep energized. Naruto will burn them when she leaves bc he knows those food pills are so gross, it’s the thought that counts I guess.

He also takes videos and pictures 24/7. He wants to make sure he documents everything. “Look, future baby! Your mom is having another pregnancy mood swing- ach! Did’ya see that? Your mom just tossed a shoe at me!”

When the baby bump starts forming he pokes it. Not harmfully, just like.. he wants to make sure it’s real. Like he’s actually having a kid, Crazy! Anyway, so after he pokes it to make sure it’s not fake, he’ll document the moment. “Hey future baby! Look, this is you. Inside there.” (Cue a vv gentle stomach poke)

The mood swings can entertain him sometimes and other times they can annoy the crap out of him. Like you’re crying one second and the next you’re yelling about the one time he forgot to pick you up for a date like three years ago. He’s really crappy at handling anything that have to do with mood swings. He’ll either be a doof about it or he’ll get offended. Then Sakura has to knock some sense into him.

He means well though, he’s still getting used to everything.

Don’t even get me started on how he reacts to the weird food cravings. Like sometimes he’ll lovingly tease the crap out of you for the weird things you’re eating or he’ll be excited and join in. Like you’re putting a scoop of peanut butter in your ramen? He’s grabbing the chopsticks! Will probably be sick afterwards.

The times when you are clingy are the best, he’ll drop whatever he’s doing so you two can just hang out. If that means you just want to lay in bed and sleep, then he’ll do it! Or if that means you wanna go on a walk, then he’ll do it!

Likes to spend as much time with you as possible. Just wants to make sure you’re okay and if you need him to do anything for you.

Overall 10/10 bc he may be a little bit of a goof, but he always means well <3

[your-turn-to-role]

hi okay i hate sending asks to people without knowing them but you seem kind so im trying: during the break, i’ve been working my way through VM, and i’m at episode 75. my question, because i’ve read some of your more recent meta, is “what’s Percy’s deal?” i know he’s loved by the fandom, but i can’t find myself relating to him, and i find his assertions that he’s the only one with a plan offputting. is there more context you can give to me about percy’s character that explains his motivations?

aww, thank you!

(and yeah, asks like this are totally fine, i totally get that anxiety, good job on sending this!)

i mean, first off, you don't have to like a character everyone else does? if you don't relate to percy you can just, not relate to percy, that's fine

(and to be fair, as much as i love him as a character, i would not want him as a friend, because he's a very flawed person that has a lot to work on, but in fiction those traits are interesting to watch rather than difficult to deal with)

but, percy's deal! the short answer is people generally like him because taliesin's funny and charismatic and he does morally grey right, which is rare and a fun thing to explore (also in his relationships with other people, the entire vex-vax-percy-keyleth square is full of neat parallels and opposites and interesting things and i have whole essays in my head on all six combos there)

i don’t know which posts you’ve read so i’ll link this one here too, just to cover a couple more of the generally unnoticed aspects of his character, and things i like about percy

he’s also far from perfect, as you’ve noted, he does tend to believe he’s the smartest person in any given room, because he’s young and clever and used to being that, which you’re allowed to find off putting, but i will say i find he does that less than a lot of characters of his general archetype? he listens to pike, he listens to keyleth, he listens to vex, he respects when they have more knowledge than him on a particular subject, he’s not above asking for help. and generally most of the arguments he has with keyleth on that subject aren’t him asserting he knows more than her, but more a matter of principles and values (they’re a really interesting pair that way, they have similar backgrounds, both children of royalty running away from the crown, but they’re such opposites. percy is a natural leader who would rather anyone rule than him, keyleth fumbles her way through all of it but sticks to it because she doesn’t want to let anyone down, percy is a pragmatist, keyleth is an idealist, they both are too focused on the big picture but in two completely different ways, i could write a whole other post on this, but to get to my point, they wouldn’t be such good balances for each other if percy didn’t absolutely respect where keyleth is coming from)

for the long answer, i’m gonna break this down into parts and try to get to the core of percy's character and why he is the way he is

(under the cut bc this gets long)

1 - heavy trauma

like... this is the really really big one. percy, at age 17 or 18, had his entire life up to that point completely destroyed. his family was killed, his friends were killed, people he trusted like family (professor anders, who was a more present figure in percy's life than his actual parents) betrayed him and helped the briarwoods, he was imprisoned in his own castle's dungeons and tortured for information, they threw his siblings' bodies in there with him to make a point, cassandra helped him escape but as far as he knew she died helping him. he has two years of his life after that he straight up doesn't remember, his hair turned white from the stress of it. 

trying to go after ripley the first time didn't work, he was captured and left to starve in a prison cell, for the first few months of travelling with vox machina he genuinely believed it wasn't real, because realistically no one was gonna come save him, this was just a hallucination of his dying mind. returning to whitestone he was forced to confront the fact that literally everyone he ever knew growing up (with the sole exception of archibald) was either dead or working with the briarwoods, and even after retaking the city there's a lot that can never be repaired. 

and he's just... never really dealt with any of this? like, he gave vox machina the technical details of what happened to him in the briarwood arc, because they needed to know that information, but the first time he actually started processing his trauma, the first time he admits it out loud to anyone, is the final episode of campaign one. before then it had been occasional snide or handwavey comments, and like, he'll let himself feel the anger over it (in the beginning of the story he encouraged it, because then he didn't have to feel anything else), but he's never processed the grief, never admitted to himself how badly that affected him

which means he's got a lot of pent up emotions in there that he just keeps burying, and sometimes they come out in unhealthy ways. having so much taken from him also makes him really motivated to keep the things he does have - he’s got some deep set abandonment issues and takes any kind of betrayal really badly, don’t know if you’ve got up to the scanlan stuff by the time i post this, but that’s something to keep in mind as to why he acts the way he does there. (and it’s not more explicit because percy was raised nobility, keeping a brave face through anything is part of who he is, he tends to cover emotions he’s insecure about in snark or indifference or, for the intense ones, anger, because those are the things he thinks he’s allowed to show, but the real emotions show up occasionally, when they’re particularly strong, or if you’re reading between the lines. he really does care a lot about vox machina)

2 - legacy and loyalty. 

speaking of nobility, it's hard to do a character study on percy without mentioning whitestone and the house of de rolo. this is the number one thing to percy. he was raised to respect title and name, and most importantly, raised to respect the people he represents - both the townsfolk of whitestone and also percy's ancestors and future de rolo generations. whitestone is more important than any one life, he has a duty to protect and serve it, and that comes before any personal wants he may have. it's also important to him for family reasons - he was a pretty lonely child, but he loved reading about the history of the city, all the weird ghost stories whitestone had even before the briarwoods. it probably made him feel more connected to all of that, this is the place he belongs. and after his family dies, it becomes even more important, because this is his connection to them. the soul of a city lives as long as its people, by protecting what's left, he keeps a little bit of what came before

(and also in just tidbits to understand percy's character, he sees all cities and man-made things the same way - in a world where some races live for centuries or millennia, their history exists mostly by word of mouth, you can physically talk to people who were around 500 years ago and get their take on things - humans don't have that, they get 100 years at most, so the things they build are vital to their heritage. this is how you keep people alive long after they're gone, by honouring what they created. and especially for someone so concerned with legacy and history, percy literally says abandoning westruun would be blasphemy, because the place people grew up is important, yes it's better that they live, but letting the city be abandoned and destroyed would be an irreparable act of violence.) 

this is the number one thing on percy's mind when evaluating anything about himself, where do i come from, and what do i leave behind? which is a question that has a lot of moments to be tested, because of my next point...

3 - pragmatism and terrible thoughts

when it comes down to it, percy is a very ends justify the means kind of person. he finds it very easy to square away any kind of collateral damage as long as it gets him to his end goal. see: trial of the take, where he's fine to catch his friends in the blast radius of a new bomb design because he's so excited that it worked, preparing to fight vorugal and resigning himself to potentially having to kill innocent people to kill the dragon (he wasn’t okay with that, but he would do it), also his conscious decision to let ripley go, knowing she would lead to the deaths of thousands because it was her or the briarwoods and he wanted revenge 

(this is by his own admission his lowest point and worst mistake, because as mentioned, he thinks about the consequences of his actions near constantly, he knew she would reproduce his guns and they would lead to a whole new form of warfare. but in that moment he was just blinded by grief and way too emotionally burnt out and did not have the capacity to care. and he spends the rest of the campaign and honestly probably the rest of his life trying to make up for that one)

he's also, by his own admission, someone who has a lot of bad thoughts he doesn't act on, he's very clever and creative and ideas for ways to use those skills for violence or vengeance come easily to him (like, percy as an actual villain would be ripley but worse, ripley's intelligent but a very direct point a to point b kind of thinker, percy has multiple times criticised her lack of imagination, a percy with her lack of morals would be terrifying)

(honestly this is why i was seeing percy so much in taliesin's narrative telephone, because "sometimes i wake up having dreamed of a terrible thing, and normally i just file that away for things that i would never do, because i wanna maintain friendships, but then LIAM did something to me." and the whole being absolutely fine with throwing the rest of the cast under the bus just to enact revenge on liam was quintessential percy)

but we’ve seen the pragmatic anti hero everywhere, anyone can be a terrible person, and have reasons for it, that alone doesn’t make an interesting character (at least not for me)

what does, is my last point

4 - trying to be good

i still vividly remember when i first watched campaign one, being really surprised at how much percy asked for help? like, i went in expecting the usual full on demon possession storyline, i expected percy to hide how bad it was, i expected him to make poor decisions without realising he was doing it until he was in too deep to back out

and like, he had some of that. but at the first sign of things being out of his control, he asked his friends for help. he let pike greater restoration him. he told vax to kill him if things ever got too out of hand. he was really, genuinely scared about what he got himself into and what he might do because of it. there was never a point where he pretended, even to himself, that making a deal with orthax was okay. the minute he realised there was a demon involved, he was working to stop it. and yeah, by the time he realised it was already a bit too late, there were already some things out of his control (and also taliesin kept having the worst rolls against the whitestone corruption which was really fun on a meta level), which is how things got as bad as they did. but honestly, all things considered, there’s very little to criticise about the way percy handled himself in the briarwood arc. 

and he keeps doing that, trying to get better. he struggles with it, he struggles a lot, against his anger issues, against all the trauma, against the fact that he really doesn’t want to be here and things would be so much easier if he were dead. but he recognises he holds grudges too easily, so he starts actively trying to forgive those who’ve wronged him (this is something he and vex have in common, and something they were working on together before they were together, which probably helped a lot in getting them to that point as well). he recognises he makes poor decisions when he’s angry, so he starts learning to step back in those moments and leave the decisions to someone else. he has never not owned up to his mistakes, he takes responsibility for everything he’s done, and if he notices a problem he can’t solve himself, he asks for help.

and i find that fun to explore. like, percy’s been likened to hamlet in the actual show, and i was the kid who got super obsessed with hamlet when i was like 15 because i was in that same mental space of suicidal self hatred and existential melancholy but also thinking i was the smartest person in any given room and being too young to have gotten over the arrogance that makes you ignore everyone else’s needs for the sake of indulging your own problems. and then i got older and realised there are smarter ways to go about things, like having empathy and appreciating the light in the world and not being a dickhead to people because it makes you feel better, and maybe hamlet can be justified and in the wrong at the same time. and while there’s some stuff i won’t spoil for you, percy after ripley kills him is definitely starting to learn that, which you rarely see in the hamlet archetype, bc everyone’s like “ah yes so Deep so Important who cares what bad things this person did they had Trauma and are Clever”

well, percy cares about the bad things he did, and cares about not doing those anymore. so like, he’s still a disaster of a person bc he’s like 23 and no one has their life together at 23, especially not someone in percy’s situation, and honestly i find that fun to watch as well bc i like watching characters make stupid mistakes and do stuff i’d never approve of in real life, and as i mentioned at the start, taliesin makes captivating and funny characters. but yeah, that’s generally where percy’s at, most of the time

[goldrushzukka]

1, 2, 7, 8, 9. (Sorry, i know that's like...all of them)

1. what themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

i love writing coming out storylines. it’s not really that they’re uncommon, i just find a lot of catharsis in them. 

2. what are some common elements of stories you are tired of seeing? what would you avoid writing about?

i tend to avoid writing sibling dynamics bc i’m an only child and therefore not really. qualified. i love reading it though!! 

7. favourite description in your WIP?

it was really hard to pick one so i have a few answers for this bc i love to talk about myself so. (under the cut bc JESUS this got long but spoilers for and i’ll do anything you say (read it here!) ahead!!!)

- from chapter 2:

Sokka looks at him, a fantasy come to life, and takes off his stupid sweatpants.

He throws them at Zuko’s head, and earns himself a short burst of that real laugh, shocked and unguarded.

“You asshole,” Zuko says. He sits up and grabs Sokka’s hand, pulling him down on top of him. Something comes alive under Sokka’s skin where Zuko’s fingers graze his wrist. He calls it lust and ignores the fact that it feels nothing like it.

Zuko kisses him, his mouth still in the shape of laughter, and the alive thing screams for his attention. Sokka buries it and hopes it won’t deafen him before they’re done.

im very fond of this whole chapter (i think it’s probably my favourite? it was definitely the easiest to write) but i really love looking back on this part particularly now that we’re in the angsty part of the story bc this is where it all started. yes technically it started in chapter 1 but this is when sokka starts to fall for zuko. this is the beginning of all those pesky non-casual feelings that he’s going to pretend don’t exist until someone else calls him out on them.

- also from chapter 2:

He’s forty-five minutes late already, and when he knocks, a woman made of pursed lips and sharp angles answers the door. She looks elegant and expensive the same way a skyscraper does. Or a cache of medieval weaponry.

“Oh,” Sokka says, digging into his pocket to find the map on his phone. “I must have the wrong place, sorry -”

She looks him up and down, her eyes narrowed in a way that feels violent and practiced, and her smirk turns distasteful. Sokka risks a glance down at himself, at his torn up jeans - not distressed, just torn - and the Madonna t-shirt he’s pretty sure actually belongs to Katara, and thinks she might have a point. The bag in his hand feels heavier when her eyes land on it.

“Zuzu,” the woman calls into the apartment, “your dinner’s here.”

“I didn’t order -” Zuko appears in the doorway, bitter frustration in his expression as he looks at the woman.

His eyes fall on Sokka, though, and his face clears into a light-pollution smile.

this is technically two so i will start with: i love azula. i haven’t found any room to bring her back yet but believe me i am LOOKING. she’s hot and mean and gay and i LOVE HER. oh also insider scoop but suki’s date from earlier in this chapter.......WAS azula. they probably won’t see each other again because once azula met sokka and connected his face to the Best Friends Forever picture frame on suki’s desk she stopped answering the phone.

pt 2: i’ve had a couple of comments mention the “light-pollution smile” line specifically and i am always so happy to read them bc yeah. YEAH. i’ll admit it. that line HITS. 

- from chapter 4:

He sets his phone down - only, he doesn’t. He misses the table by a mile, and in his scramble to catch his phone before it breaks on the hardwood floor and wakes Momo on the cushion beside him, his hand finds the lip of his cereal bowl, and then that’s falling, too. He manages to catch the phone, but something in his head gets lost in translation on its way down his arms, and he ends up with a boxers-only lap full of soggy Cheerios.

Momo gets a splash of milk on his back and hisses at Zuko for his crimes, and somehow that’s the worst part of it.

haley @fruitysokka said that this passage reads like an action movie and i think about it all the time. (thank u haley i love u)

- lastly this extended metaphor from chapter 6:

The soup is good, once the heat of it clears him up enough to taste it. It’s thick and warm and there’s enough pepper that Sokka gets a kick from it even in his condition. He feels it all the way down his throat and into his stomach, where it mixes with the prickly nervousness he’s feeling from Zuko’s attention.

He sets the bowl down on the table and asks, eyes stuck on his hands in Momo’s fur where he’s climbed into his lap, “How was the date?”

“It was good, actually,” Zuko says. “Jet seems like a nice guy. He’s very - uh - passionate, I guess you could call it? He’s a climate and human rights activist.”

The spines of Sokka’s nervousness turn to daggers.

...

“I said yes. We’re getting lunch on Sunday.”

The daggers are swords now, and Sokka’s heart sinks down, down, down, right to the hilt.

...

“I’ll text you when I’m home,” Zuko promises, and Sokka’s heart skewers itself on a second sword.

Zuko’s smile when Sokka says, “Thank you for the soup,” is a third.

The door closing behind him is a fourth.

The silence as Sokka shuffles back to bed is every single one that remains.

something something canon swordsmen something pride comes before the fall something chivalry fell on his sword from eden by hozier. you guys get it i dont have to explain myself

8. favourite dialogue in your WIP?

ok so i cant share my actual favourite dialogue bc it's a spoiler for chapter 8 and i technically haven't written it yet (it's in my brain just.....plaguing me) but it's GOOD i SWEAR so. once again i have more than one answer bc actually? i love this fic and im proud of it. deal with it.

- from chapter 1:

“Hey, stranger,” Sokka says, still watching him in the mirror. The corner of Zuko’s mouth ticks up.

“You’re not following me, are you?” Zuko’s tone is seductive, endlessly so, and Sokka wonders while he dries his hands if he has to put it on or if he just sounds like that.

“You give a guy one compliment and he thinks you’re stalking him,” Sokka mutters, and Zuko laughs, low and enticing. Not the genuine, endearing laugh of this morning, but one with an agenda.

Well. Sokka always likes a plan.

“Are you following me? ” Sokka asks. He spies a miraculous dry patch on the sink bank and tries to be casual about the way he hops up to sit on it.

“I might be,” Zuko says, and at Sokka’s raised eyebrow, he continues, “I saw you at the bar and I wanted to talk to you. Sue me.”

“You wanted to talk.”

“Amongst other things.”

as a chronically awkward person i am INSANELY proud of the flirting in this fic. no idea if it would work in a real life situation. excited to never find out bc im not about to use lines from my fanfiction on real women. 

- from chapter 2

“You must be Suki,” Zuko says. He meets her gaze, and his fingers go still under Momo’s chin.

“And you’re Zuko,” Suki replies, her smile all different shades of intimidating. “I’d shake your hand, but I know where it’s just been.”

i wrote this entire scene just so i could have suki say this. im not even joking. suki is my favourite part of this entire fic and its not even ABOUT her.

- from chapter 3:

When Sokka crosses the room and slips under the covers beside him, Zuko says, “I can leave, if you want. I can go home.”

...

He asks, still barely hovering over Zuko, “What if I don’t want that?”

Zuko swallows. “I can stay.”

“So stay,” Sokka says, and lays his head down on Zuko’s chest.

i just think it’s sweet. i like it a lot. makes my heart hurt a little when i think about it. 

- from chapter 4:

[Suki // 15:13] there is a LOT of chmpagrjn

[Suki // 15:13] cahpmhagne

[Suki // 15:13] chsanpghn

[Suki // 15:14] alcohol :)

once again: suki is the best part of this whole fic. i love her so much. she is the reason the word bestie exists. im really proud of the texting in this fic bc it’s my first time actually including it in fic and it’s turned out really well!!

- ok last one bc i just realised this is turning into a novel. from chapter 4:

“How’s my baby?”

Zuko glances down at Momo, batting at the untied laces of his shoes with one determined paw. “He’s doing just fine.”

“And how’s Momo?”

“He’s - what?”

are there better written, more narratively important and emotive lines in this fic? yes. is this the best part of the entire thing? also yes. i invented the jin/yue wedding because i needed a reason for zuko to have a key in what became chapter 6, but sometimes i think the entire fic exists just for this exchange. best dialogue i have ever written.

9. what scene was the hardest for you to write and why?

the start of chapter 6 of aidays was difficult. i kept wanting to skip ahead to the meaty parts - i.e, zuko and his soup - but i didn’t want to do sokka a disservice like that. it was also really hard to maintain the balance of accurately describing the delirium of illness while still being coherent for the reader? so that took me a couple of days to get right.

[eltanin-malfoy]

Cliché

pairing : draco/pureblood-slytherin!y/n (gender neutral again!)

word count :  2.2k

warning(s) : mentions of petrification, (does that warrant a warning? idk. putting it here just bc) some anxiety

requested : yes, by @lespaceboi

a/n : sorry for taking so long w this one lol. school has been keeping me nice n busy. also, just so u know, it is my birthday tomorrow (29th oct), so i’ve been p busy w all sort of other stuff as well lmao. (feat. the slightest bit ooc draco and a bit of a rushed romance) also i didn’t mean to throw shade or anything, i just thought it would be funny to approach a story with this kinda commentary, lmk what you think!

taglist : @accio-taurus​  @acciodracoo ​ @drawlfoy ​ @war-sword​  @socontagiousimagines​ 

Everything between the two of you was always as if out of a predictable sitcom. The misfit and the bully, almost immediately enemies. One on the wrong side of a prejudice and the other simply resisting it. 

It started off with chiding, with unfriendly confrontation. Drama you couldn’t care less for. Eleven year old you didn’t need this kind of nonsense. You were studying, by the fireplace in the common room. Warm heat radiating onto your sweater covered frame, when cold steely eyes locked onto yours and walked over to you. “So, it’s true, is it?” “What?” “You’re a mudblood? Or at least one of your par-” “No. Are you done now?” “That can’t be.. That’s not what Daph-” “Daphne and everyone else just want to make up reasons as to why I don’t want to spend time with the rest of them.”                                                             

“You sure? You’re uh-”                                                                                      

“I’m sure. Just because I don’t believe you and all your.. cronies aren’t better than everyone else just for being pureblooded doesn’t me-” “Okay, I get it, I get it. You don’t have to act all high and mighty for thinking you’re better than us just because you sympathize with mudbloods.” “How dare you!”

And that was how it started. The mother of all cliches. You were rivals, enemies, whatever you want to call it. The animosity between the two of you only grew as time passed.

Your first year passed on in solitude. You tried your best to stay away from the preying Slytherins of your year. However, this was difficult considering each of your housemates were in pretty much all of your classes with you. The general bitterness between you and the rest of your house was clear to the rest of your year and so you managed to remain civil with everyone else. But that was the extent of any of that. Just polite smiles, nods and whispered words. Nothing more. And it was.. unpleasant. But bearable, so you didn’t complain. 

Your second year was quite a bit more terrifying. The Chamber of Secrets and the Heir of Slytherin.. Mrs. Norris.. You’d heard the mumbles and whispers about Harry Potter being the guilty party, and you couldn’t help but believe them the slightest bit. The other houses seemed to turn against you the slightest bit but you strung it out, growing wary and hoping that the true culprit would be found sooner than later. But then the petrifications began.. and well.. it was scary, to be very, very concise. Students you’d known the past year or so, perky, bright ones even, were found frozen, basically. What was even scarier was no one knew what or how these attacks were occurring. Of course, the ‘heir of Slytherin’ was behind these attacks, but who even was that? You began to suspect something yourself. 

It was too obvious. The person behind them couldn’t possibly as blatant as.. he was being. You were beginning to lose respect for him very steadily. One can only say the ‘m’ word a couple of times before you can’t help but wish to knock the living daylights out of them. Buying his place onto the Quidditch team was one thing, but acting as if it had nothing to do with his father’s money was just stupid. It annoyed you much too much. 

And then it happened.

You were making your way back to your dormitory after lunch, taking a bit of a detour to walk alone and clear your head for a while. But then.. you noticed.. them.

The ‘brightest witch of your year’ (or at least that’s what you’d overheard some adults saying.. sigh.) and that one blonde Ravenclaw prefect you’d seen around..  on the floor, frozen as if they were made of stone. A large mirror in the bushy brunette’s hand. Any prejudice you’d held against either of them disappeared in that instant and your feet began scampering off, your hands trembling the slightest bit as you found the nearest teacher (Professor.. Vector, was it?) and told them what you’d just seen. 

Of course, other members of the staff arrived in an instant, quickly taking off with the two to the Hospital Wing. You followed after them, this close to hyperventilating and just in general blowing your top off. You stood warily, being handed a bottle of Calming Draught as you took a seat nearby. 

McGonagall came in soon enough, followed by Harry Potter himself (he couldn’t possible be the guilty party now..), in his Quidditch robes, gosh, and Ron Weasley. The two walked over to her bed and stared at her, touching her hands and looking shocked. Ron gulped audibly before Madam Pomfrey muttered something to the two of them and they looked over at you, their faces still solemn. Harry looked back at Granger, but Ron mouthed a ‘Thanks’ before doing the same.

You walked over to them and spoke and then... you finally managed to make your first proper alliance at school, or.. most people would simply call it a friendship, I suppose. A few of them, at that. All at once.

Malfoy clearly recognised this. And what used to be occasional shows of aggression turned into.. well.. an everyday thing. His two ‘rivals’ had gotten close and he was very, very annoyed. Very. 

And time really did begin to fly. The long days you had turned into quick weeks and months and Harry defeated the ‘Basilisk’ and saved Ron’s sister and everything was alright. And you had good friends.

And an enemy. Ugh. Clichés are clichés for a reason, huh?

Third year began with its.. commotions. You were in the same Care for Magical Creatures class as Harry, Ron and Hermione, which was certainly great, but.. so was Draco (and all of his buddies, gross!).

There was everything with Sirius Black and Draco’s chiding and well… you’d had enough. Draco called Hermione that.. filthy word yet another time and Harry and Hermione had to hold you and Ron back before you actually just knocked his head in and broke his bones and-

Goddammit. You couldn’t take this anymore. Three years had passed and you were still struggling with Draco Malfoy and his pristine blonde hair and his blue blooded gait and his idiotic ego. Obviously, telling Snape wasn’t an option. And so you took it upon yourself. Why did you attempt to change someone so goddamn difficult? Who knows. We all do dumb things sometimes, right?

One night in September in the Slytherin commons, you grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him to a corner, much to the alarm of all his cronies. 

“You need to stop.”

“Stop what?” “Being such a goddamn prat.”

His silvery eyes shimmered in the dim light and he began glaring down at you. “Says you, the friend of slimy Gryffindors, sympathizer of mudbl-” 

“This is exactly what I’m talking about, Merlin!”

“Do all blood traitors think you’re above all of us whom are actually right or is it just the four of you?”

“Draco.. Just.. shut up.”

“What? I’m n-” “You’re just being a prick. You’re the biggest arsehole I know! I swear!”

“You are so-!” “The two of you need to calm down and clear out of here.” A third voice suddenly appeared out of nowhere. You looked up and were met with the piercing gaze of Dendron, the new merciless fifth year Prefect. Goddammit. Oh well, at least you were saved from getting a massive headache.

You walked away and your fourth year continued as it was. And all the foreigners arrived and… Harry..  well.. 

Trouble really finds him, doesn’t it?

And of course, Draco only grew more pathetic. Seeing him getting turned into a ferret was one of the highlights of your year. Your quarrelling was growing constant. You might have, on occasion, gone around looking to bump into him and get into a bit of a spat. It was a little entertaining, you had to admit, how very irritable he was. 

One December morning, when the silvers of wintry frost had made themselves known on your window, you traversed around the castle with three of your closest friends. Harry had successfully completed the first task and there was still a long way to go till the second, but of course, the four of you still had other things to worry about, or not to worry about, I guess. It wasn’t long before you took their leave and headed back to your dormitory for your Transfiguration textbook, Hermione was willing to help you revise for the next test for once, and you weren’t going to miss out on such a great opportunity. 

But alas! Someone else had a better idea. You were pulled to the side as you walked into the now empty Slytherin common room. Goddammit, this is another cliché of its own, is it not? 

“The Yule Ball. Come with me.” “What? No, I won’t, Malfoy. You can’t ju-” “I’m trying to get Pansy jealous.. She’s-” “So what? I’m no-” “Come on, please!” “No! Why can’t you ask Daphne or Millicent or one of your own other friends?” “Because they all have dates! They’re all busy! Do you really think you were my first option?” You didn’t know why but that one sentence left a bitter taste in your mouth. “So, you’re telling me I’m your last resort?” “No! Come on! You have to come with me to the Yule Ball, I can get you nice dress robes. More exquisite than-” “Oh my god, Draco! Do you really think you can buy me too?”

He glowered down at you and you frowned right back. 

“Has anyone else even asked you?” “... It’s none of your business.” “They haven’t, have they?” “It’s none of your business.” “Then why don’t you want to go with me?” “Because you’re a right arse! And I hate you!” He rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. You couldn’t hate me.”

“Oh, please. Yes, I do. I hate you. You’re vile. And I’m surprised you don’t hate me either.” “I do what I have to do for the things I want.” “So going to the ball with me is something you-” “Just.. shut it. I swear. I don’t even know why I’m asking you. You’re so goddamn difficult.” “Why are you asking me then?” “Because Pansy’d get weirdly jealous of you. She didn’t like us talking or anything of that sort.” “Why? I thought she was like that with everyone.” “No.. she was sensible with other people.. but she said we.. had.. way too much chemistry.”

“.. This is some kind of joke, right?” “No.. it’s not. And I can’t help but..” He looked at you in a way which made your knees feel like they couldn’t hold you up much longer. “But believe it.” “But there-” “If you hate me so much.. then why do you keep staring at me all the time? Even try to look for me, don’t you?”

“N-no! I don’t!” Shit. “How would you even know? Doesn’t that mean you-”

He huffed. “Can’t you read between the lines?” “What are you talking about?” “I like you. That’s why she was jealous of you. She… knew.” You weren’t even sure why your stomach felt like it was about to turn over on itself and your cheeks felt so hot you were afraid they’d light up. “What? But-” “Aren’t people mean to those they fancy? Haven’t you heard of that?” “That’s not true! That’s just an excuse for-” “Shut up.” He blinked slowly, grey orbs tracing a path over your face. He took a step forward and closed the gap between the two of you. And then, for some weird reason, he leaned over to press a kiss to your lips. And for some even more absurd reason, you didn’t push him away. It was soft. And nice. And.. it was okay. Whatever this was.

But why was it? He was.. awful. Looking at him was alright.. but.. 

Maybe he could change? 

And you didn’t realise how long the two of you just.. stared at each other. Smiled. You didn’t even register when your friends showed up and.. caught you.

“Y/N..?” Hermione called out, and you looked to the side immediately, snapping out of your gaze and seeing the three of them standing together. How long had they been there? Had they seen everything? Oh, Christ, this is another trope, is it not?

Ron’s freckled cheeks were pinking up furiously and Harry suddenly spoke up. “You were taking a while so we thought we’d check if you got stuck or something.. And I guess we were right.” Ron suddenly scampered forwards but Harry grabbed him by the shoulders again. “You’d best not do a thing to Y/N, Malfoy! I’ll knock your block right off, I swear it! Give you another black eye if that’s what you want!”

You reached down and fiddled with the tip of your tie. “Th-there’s nothing between us like that.. Not..”

“Not yet.” Draco completed for you, and you looked up at him, then back at the three of them.

“I mean.. we saw enough, Y/N.” Hermione took a deep breath. “And.. I’d say.. I was disappointed and all of that stuff.. but I can’t even say I’m surprised.”

Ron let out a sound of surprise. “What are you talking about? I knew Y/N-” “It’s all Y/N can think about doing nowadays, isn’t it? Getting on Malfoy’s nerves?” 

The three of them looked at each other in solemn agreement before simply nodding over at you. And that was that. Being caught sharing warm breaths and blushing and everything in between. It was so out of nowhere and yet it was not. 

Oh, Merlin. Enemies to lovers stories are so goddamn clichéd. 

[onlyxmcbride]

This was not wrote by me but I had to share it 💔

Credits to addieanatomy on instagram.

its so difficult for me to understand those who never feel the slightest bit of sympathy for norma and those who blame norma for being a bad mother, for nurturing her child into a serial killer. since the beginning on the series, norma had been a whole person. she has a backstory filled with emotional abuse and neglect at the hands of her awful parents. and emotional and sexual assault at the hands of her brother. and then she gets married to an abusive husband with a son born of incest because of her brother raping her. and another son who blacks out and becomes violent to the point of murder. norman blacked out and murdered her abusive husband/his father and had no idea. and he continues to kill several ppl that come into his life. but that’s just a whole other discussion for a later date. it makes my blood boil when i see ppl want to hate norma and blame her for all norman does. they want to. hate norma for what norman is. in some ways. yes. i can see why we all should give her some blame. because of numerous events in her life, norma’s incredibly broken which doesnt make motherhood too promising for her. i mean. i would argue that the worst thing norma has done has been having a lack of understanding the causes and effects of her actions. and just having a lack of insight in general.

norma feels that nothing outside of her and her care is safe for her and her beloved child. but eventually, she starts to see norman as a threat, to herself and himself. okay and quite honestly. im surprised norma didn’t end up being the damn serial killer given her fucking upbringing and the experiences she faced… anyway. alright norma definitely allowed for levels of intimacy between her and norman that are pretty uncomfortable. and some ppl would say shes reluctant to admit that there is something wrong with her beautiful child. but in my opinion. i believe she was always fully aware of normans troubles and knew that theres was smth wrong with him. but like i said before. she didnt see safety in anything outside herself. bc shes so fucking stubborn! but she truly believed that she was the answer to normans problem and she thought she could help him and protect him. i think it is very harsh for ppl to classify norma and anything she does as a mother as being neglectful. or abusive.,..,. she certainly comes close but. she doesnt cross the line into that territory. and yes. she did tell norman things he shouldnt have to know as her son. like. the situation with her brother. but. if u think about normas role as a mother overall. within the context of her own life experiences. she tries really fucking. hard. to be a the perfect and ideal mother. and i believe her efforts should be applauded considering she had no good mother or father to have as an example for her parenting. this woman did whatever she could to protect her son. and when she realized that she couldnt give him the help he needed,... she sought out help. she went to pineview. she begged dr edwards or whatever to help her son. she did her best to get her son the aid he needed in order to not be a threat to himself, norma and everyone else.

i would find it absolutely ridiculous if u didnt feel an iota a sympathy for norma in that moment in 401. she even explained herself in that moment with dr edwards. she realized that she couldnt control what she thought she could. and that she was afraid of going to the doctors bc she thought they could take him away from her. and i believe that she didnt want him taken away bc he was the last bit of love she had left in her life. she had no one. she loved norman so passionately bc they were all each other ever had. its just. in that fucking moment with dr edwards. norma was showing so much of herself. so much honesty. which is smth she tends not to do. and she was revealing in that moment that literally. like all parents. she didnt really know… exactly what she was doing. she was just hoping that what she thought was best,.,. was good. and she had a moment of great fear that what she was doing was hurting her child. and she wanted to do smth else to change and make it better for both of them. all norma has ever had is good intentions. love makes u do crazy things. and she did crazy things out of the sometimes dangerous love she had for her child. but she cant take full blame for what norman is and became. being the parent of a psychopath is not gonna be fucking easy and a literal cake walk with a manual on how to succeed. all norma fucking wanted was a normal life for her and her son. and normal life that she never got to have throughout her childhood. and teenage years. and into her married life with both of her husbands.

she could never catch a fucking break. and she never did. she never. fucking. did. shitty childhood, 2 shitty marriages, a kid who resulted from being raped by her brother, a kid that was more than just mentally unstable. and her own mental wellbeing never treated was just. the fucking cherry on top. and even after she dies she didn’t even get peace until after norman died, considering he was lugging her dead body around. when ppl talk about norma, her mental health is not often in the conversation. but quite honestly. norma's entire mental state had to have been absolutely exhausting for her. she needed serious help. and she needed it well before norman even came into the her life. i think the only time she realized that… this isnt how normal people live. is when she was with alex... alex gave her a real glimpse into a type of normalcy she had never experienced. honestly. i would like to believe she eventually would have gone into therapy had she survived. and even if norman had stayed at the live-in hospital and didnt try to kill her, she and alex were not going to magically start living a beautiful, good life. she was going to need some serious therapy herself. and i just know she wouldnt bring herself to do that all by herself. i think if anyone could help her decide to help herself... that person would without and doubt be alex. norma truly was beaten down by life at every corner. anyone in her shoes with that kind of history and mental wellbeing would be in an unbelievable amount of pain on the inside. when thinking about how this all plays into her relationship with norman... i just think she loved norman to the best of her ability. but it was from a perspective warped by extreme mental illness, fatigue and injury of her own. to add to this exhausting amount of mental turmoil, came her exhausting love for norman. god i love this woman so much. she is everything to me.

This hit me so damn hard. People ask why I love this show so much and the reason is above. Vera Farmiga portrays Norma so brilliantly and I couldn't think of anyone else who could do it better.

Romanticizing the relationship she and Norman had is unhealthy yes, but she loved her son so much she would do anything to keep him safe. Norma Bates is a fucking warrior- fictional character or not.

[notasiren21]

My Romance Kdrama Rankings and rec.:

*warning: possibly a lot of spoilers but tbh mostly just a redone synopsis of the shows*

Also a bit lengthy as hell

#12. Melting Me Softly

This show didn’t do that well as much as it was expected to, considering it even had Ji Chang-Wook as the male lead and the adorable Choi Bo-min who was introduced and quite possibly helped quick start the recognition for his kpop group Golden Child. I’ll admit I expected more of this and I don’t hold anything against the script writer who I heard did Strong Woman, but I kept in mind that the whole premise itself was also very complex to work with. Besides the fact it had two very cute and good looking male leads to draw me in, what really did it was the said premise. This is coming from a girl who is in love with Fallout 4 where the playable character was cryogenically frozen and then thawed out two centuries later, that shit slaps with me for some reason and I was excited to see it play out in this.

The romance is okay I guess, still “aww” worthy and has an intense kiss scene that’ll go down in Ji Chang-Wook’s kissing portfolio no doubt, as well as a hot kiss with his former and now aged flame that is only dreamt of. What drives the romance is the male lead with his puppy dog eyes and loving gaze, only a few have COMPLETELY mastered this in the kdrama buisness. Choi Bo-min was a complete adorable cutie who seemed to have fallen in love for the first time and I couldn’t help but fall in love with him (we’re also the same age but that’s besides the point and I’m completely in love with Rocky from Astro so like, I gotta keep this professional).

Time and time again I have issues with female leads in dramas and feel like the men pick up the slack when it comes to acting, this was one of those times. She was funny and quirky but seemed very out of focus on serval aspects. I think her most redeeming trait besides being made for the media and entertainment business in the show was her completely devotion to her brother.

#11. Suits

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Park Hyungsik is my favorite korean actor hands down.

I’ve seen bits of the American version, the original version, and it didn’t interest me in the slightest. I took a chance on this because I saw this cutie wearing a suit and converse and maybe that’s my kink, who knows, but I was fucking HERE for it. Now I’m a huge slave to romance and the shows, romcoms, that shit. I need to ship, I need to see the love, possibly write a fanfic of it, save gifs of the couple being cute or someone pining. But this show didn’t focus on the love story brewing on the side, it focused on its original intent and purpose which was Park Hyungsik and Jang Don-Gun’s partnership as mentor and mentee, the practice of law, and Park Hyungsik’s storyline as someone who got mixed up in the wrong crowd and fauxed having the license to practice law. The love story you get is the reason it’s on this list and why it’s ranked lower, but all in all this was a good show and one of the few exceptions to a non romance focused show.

#10. Suspicious Partner

The only reason this doesn’t have a pic is because I can only use ten and I gotta figure which would need one and which wouldn’t.

To start off, this show is fucking hilarious with the cast dynamic. It was like what, 40 episodes? I didn’t realize I needed a prolonged show until this came along. At times, it seemed like the main plot was dragging and I was reminded of why I prefer typical kdrama fashion of a one season within 12-32 episode limit, but it made up for it.

Yes, yes, Ji Chang-Wook, the god of kissing, stars in this. My first introduction to him was actually Melting Me Softly and because of how he did in acting with what he could, the emotions he portrayed, I sought out another show of his pre-military duty. God, he fucking serves in glasses and a suit. His character’s jealousy regarding Nam Ji Hyun (his romantic interest) and Choi Tae Joon (Ex best friend, slow burn, exes to friends to platonic lovers that’s one sided while the other can’t stand him, 35k words) instilled the notion that he is fucking funny as hell when needed and such a mood. You want to see the (not even romantic rival bc Choi and Nam are best friends) spraying with a water hose on your lead’s rival? Want to see a hot guy like Ji Chang-Wook panic and try shoving him out of the house when the girl catches them working out? It’s gold.

The feud with the moms -granted they didn’t realize the knew they were the mom’s of the leads-, the slow burn of enemies to friends with the girls, the redemption of a broken friendship, the crackhead and large old baby played by Lee Deok Hwa and the poor father figure who is tired of everyone’s shit portrayed by Jang Hyeok-jin. It’s everything you need for at least a week. It’s possibly a great starter show to ease one into the fact that most dramas don’t hold to that many episodes.

The romance is great, the fucking pining on Ji Chang-Wook’s side is great, the kissing scenes are fucking one for the history books, and you’re guaranteed to be giggling to yourself in several scenes.

Oh and there’s like, a serial killer but yeah, romance!

#9. What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim?

The reason why it’s not so high on my list despite being popular is quite possibly some of the side cast.

While Park Seo Joon and Park Min Young severed as a fucking power couple and their tandem dynamic was strong as hell, there were characters who made the show’s story seen to drag out despite it being 16 episodes (see what I mean by usual number??). For one, we learn that a brown haired Lee Tae Hwan is not gonna make for a silent crush in this show. No, brown haired Lee Tae Hwan just gets on your nerves and despite it being purely because his character is mentally blocked in this twisted memory, he forces the main character into staying isolated within his own pain and nightmares from what really occurred when they were children. He lies to his family, keeps it hidden from those who are close to him and love him, suffers alone. It’s what keeps him away from chasing after Secretary Kim besides his egotistical personality -which I never thought could be so great but it is. The main character’s brother in his endless pursuit to chase at Secretary Kim himself starts to gnaw on your chill as you watch him subconsciously force this notions that they’re tethered to one another, deserve each other, etc. While you can’t entirely fault him for how he is given the psychological trauma he endured, you can get annoyed with him very easily for the other accounts and purposes.

The side story of the roof top guy with the one suit -I’m sorry, he’s great in 2PM but I can’t stand him in about every drama he’s in- and the seemly rookie girl become more of an obstacle when you just want to watch the main focus. The driver of the main character is hilarious but his romantic interest is over the top at times. Sometimes it just takes away from the show.

#8. Hotel Del Luna

Ah, I wish I could’ve put a pic.

To kick this off, can we like get a spin off with Kim Soo Hyun? Thanks.

FINALLY, A FUCKING FEMALE LEAD I STAN COMPLETELY AND WOULD WATCH EVEN WITHOUT YEO JIN GOO THERE FOR A ROMANTIC INTEREST.

This bitch, IU, fucking slays in her role as a hotel owner for the dead before the leave for the after life. Everything she does is iconic -yes, the fucking cocking of the rifle, the child like smile seeing diamonds, blessing the poor boy with the ability to see the dead then let him get chased per her own amusement before business. I really would’ve watched the show even if there was no romance. Whether it’s modern times or her orignal lifetime before being condemned to a life of immortality hell and aimlessly running a hotel, she makes for a strong lead. Her reasons for wanted to avoid love seemed so valid compared to other female leads who completely brush guys off. She doesn’t want love, and yet she doesn’t want anyone else touching Chan Sung (Yeo Jin Goo) because she’s not dumb enough to let go of something that makes her feel alive. While her character is legitimately described as cold and greedy, her intentions for holding onto him reveal an insecure part of her that’s been tucked away for centuries. His dedication to the hotel and her, to helping the ghosts move on and such, it’s great and makes for a binge full night.

It’s only ranked lower because the ending sadden me when I realized it was him picturing how they would meet one another again. And because they teased us with Kim Soo Hyun, like that’s cruel.

#7. Guardian: The Lonely and Great God (aka Goblin)

Tbh, this show would be lower if it weren’t for the Reaper and Sunny, as well as Deok Hwa.

I’ll probably get a lot of hate for this, but I couldn’t stand Kim Go Eun in this. I’ve watched her in Cheese in the Trap and thought she was good and stuff, but this I found myself growing annoyed and glaring at the television while my mom preached upon her behalf. The goblin was funny, his dynamic and weird polar friendship with the Reaper is quite possibly what really made the show, but I failed to see the spark between them until the time skip. Then, THEN, I could tolerate her a bit better.

Maybe it’s because she was protraying someone around my age in high school, but she went from this independent and driving girl to someone who became too needy and clingy. She acted like a little girl in front of a crush when she could’ve handled it more marturely with the said maturity she showed before meeting him. Granted, I know she had a very difficult home life after her mom died and she saw ghosts everywhere, and her living with the Reaper and Goblin was like this warm family she felt safe in, but I just couldn’t. Her endless pursuing of the Goblin got on my nerves and she would get upset, but then again did she ever act like an adult and do the most natural thing? Aka sit down and discuss the whole situation.

“If you’re comfortable, can you tell me why you think I’m your bride?/Why is there a sword in you?/What happens if I pull it out?/ What do you want me to do?/etc”

No, instead it was a constant “I’m the goblin’s bride”, “I’m your bride”, there was this bratty entitlement laying underneath the cutest exterior that was so apparent for someone my age, and I got pissed when she admitted to have seeing the sword the first time around. Like this man has been in total agony for fucking forever and you strung him along hoping for the possibility that you may be the key to him finally getting the ending he thinks he’ll get. It was selfish, she didn’t even know him but insisted on seeing how to be his bride. She should’ve stepped back and thought the situation out carefully. It wasn’t until that blessed time skip that I started to like her better. She wasn’t a kid then and became mature like she needed to be. There’s the need to flaw a character, but her’s was always biting at me.

Oh yeah, Sunny and the Reaper are the true couple in this story and their love that’s star crossed in two lives really hits you. There was more chemistry than the main couple, there was confusion in flirtatious banter, there was stupidity for first time romance against a tired experience woman, there was the hidden history that they both remembered after the time skip. The angst, the pure acceptance, the guilt and remorse. They made the fucking show alongside the Goblin and Reaper’s bromance and Deok Hwa’s “I just want a credit card and to be irresponsible but these two dumb fucks keep almost revealing their true selves to the world and I’m fucking done with these children”, on top of God taking his body as a vessel and becoming 10x cooler with that hairstyle while drinking with Fate (such a badass who loves her children I can’t, I stan the side character too).

#6. My ID is Gangnam Beauty

Oh my god, my introduction to Astro. Cha Eun Woo (aka Lee Dongmin). My god, if it weren’t for my mom, sister and I officially ruling Cha Eun Woo as god tier in terms of looks and making him this untouchable bias we can’t have, I would have never let this adorably hot as hell dancer and rapper distract me. Really, I kept wanting to be distracted by Rocky but I felt like I couldn’t miss the visual god in the front. Blessed I finally was able to divert my attention to the one I wanted to watch so very much and became my bias wrecker. Mom loves Moonbin like he’s her own son and we’re not her children, sister loves MJ’s psychotic idiocy.

ANYWAYS, the female lead, Kang Mi Rae, was stiff as hell when watching it a second time around and at times, knowing their age gap can be bothersome, but it was a cute slow burn of her and Cha Eun Woo’s character, Do Kyung Suk (sounds badass too, doesn’t it). While he appeared stiff as well, probably could’ve played a robot if he wanted to, I felt like he did well portraying his character who grew up in a dysfunctional house where their political father’s position took presidence over family. He was taught it was unmanly you cry, he never smiled (idk how Cha Eun Woo did it, this cutie never stops smiling or laughing), he never spoke up, etc. He appears socially handicapped until Mi Rae appears back in his life and he slowly let’s go of this anger as the story progresses. She learns she doesn’t have to be so self conscious about her plastic surgery or who she used to be because he loves both.

The villian of this story was well thought out (only kdrama where my dad actively participates in the discussions because he hated her so much and says her name with such spite while bragging he knows at least one Astro member so that’s his “idfk what a bias is but I’ll go with the Gangnam kid”). She brought the tension and there was the window to pity her and realize something was most definitely wrong in a tragic way. She sought after Kyung Suk like a prized trophy when he didn’t express interest, stepped inbetween blooming relationships, set boys off a progressive course away from her, and turned one kid psychotic. That was just with her obsession to have the boys fawn after her; completely disregarding her endless efforts to knock Mi Rae down a peg or two in meticulously planned schemes. She was incredibly smart and cunning, it can’t be denied and she drove them closer together in spite of her tries to wedge between them.

Really, this made me wish that the Webtoon True Beauty that’s supposed to get a drama adaption will cast him as the main male lead Suho. It’s almost similar but Suho seems more dimensional and expressive and I feel like he would truly shine there.

Stan Astro.

#5. Extra-Ordinary You

Ah, this one hurts me. @macaknight, just watch it.

This is a young love one and one of the few that’s not absolute cringe worthy. Set in high school where yea, there’s drama and it’s in Asia so there’s that weird “all mighty and supreme group that conquers the school” called the A3, a girl (Kim Hye Yoon) with a heart condition learns she’s a character in a manga -doesn’t realize she’s not the main one tho and that’s hilarious alone. She finds a focus with this unnamed student who stays in the background and shadows (portrayed by SF9’s Rowoon). The girl, Eun Dan Oh, is someone to worship and cherish, especially since she’s so young and very promising. I thoroughly enjoyed her character and how her efforts to derail the natural progression of the story with the catalyst of student number 13, later on Haru. There’s so many fucking twist and turns, characters to let your heartbreak for as you wish to adopt them and protect them from the world, it all hurts so much but in a masochistic against yourself kind of way you can’t let go of.

Those who are aware they’re in a comic book, they all struggle to break their “character’s” roles and expectations. The second male lead of both the drama and the drama’s manga is sick and tired of playing the violin and being this unrequited love interest that’ll lose in the end, forever the friend. Dan Oh is livid she’s expected to die from her heart disease and is forced to endlessly pine for her childhood fiancé Baek Kyung who is a complete asshole to her while in character. Number 13/Haru is tired of being an unnamed background character who continuously suffers and gets toyed with by the author. Dried Squid Fairy lunch maker is sick of how he must remember shit that’s kept a secret as he tries in vain to keep the story on track to avoid repeated mistakes and consequential devastating punishments to those who don’t follow the storyline. Yeo Ju Da (the main character of the manga) wants to experience the love story she wants without the drama. Baek Kyung want to prove himself and that he genuinely cares for Dan Oh but is forced to be an asshole because that’s how he’s written.

It’s a fucking mess and it’s fucking fantastic. The friendship of A3 (Lee Do Hwa the vionlist, Oh Namju and Baek Kyung), Lee Do Hwa and Dan Oh’s powerful best friendship after being self aware and confiding in each other (honestly I want a drama with just two of them, they’re so cute and funny together), the A3 that happened outside for those self aware between Dan Oh, Number 13/Haru, and Do Hwa where they all genuinely care for one another, Dan Oh’s acceptance that her manga best friend is a bitch but nice to her and the male lackey of their group is funny, etc.

I didn’t think another self aware comic book character show could happen without ripping off W-Two Worlds, but it did. They did it.

#4. Angel’s Last Mission: Love

That song that goes “It’s alright, it’s alright” in a sad melodic way? Yeah, they play it when it’s not alright.

This show has heartbreak galore, even in the first episode for numerous reasons. They don’t want you to be alright for the most part and yet our sadistic selves can’t help but suffer through it. L’s portrayal of being an angel is such a gift, I didn’t know I needed it. I was dead set on living my life until I saw this and felt myself crumble to bits.

You want sacrifice? You got it. Tears of cute boy and a girl who can’t catch a break? Check. Plot twists? Lmao, it’s a kdrama. Yea. Angst and hurt? Fuck yep.

While you’re at it, listen to the song too so you can suffer some more.

#3. Descendants of the Sun

THIS WOULD BE AT THE TOP IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE FACT I AM COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH THE FIRST ONE AND THESE TWO GOT DIVORCED IN REAL LIFE. I still wish the best for them and their child. I still hurt but love them.

So much fucking chemistry and angst, so much hurt and wounds (it’s legit a show with a military background and characters), so much cool fight scenes and surgeries. Their soundtrack slaps, the backstory of characters really set the tone to their current stories, shit overlaps somehow, the female rivalry is hilarious, the cat and dog friendship of the male leads warms my heart. They have such iconic stills and scenes.

The main leads connected so fucking well they got married in real life (we don’t talk about the end result, I’m still crying but I get it.) This kdrama is probably one of the staples to korean dramas in general.

Another female lead I really liked as well as the second, I just struggled at times with Song’s character at times because of the pain she put them both through.

#2. W-Two Worlds

This is my go to for recommending korean dramas to someone for the first time -I got an ex hooked on it that he cried several times throughout it/life 1/4 of the varsity boy’s soccer team has seen this because of me.

This is the comic self awareness show that I didn’t think could be redone, but kudos to you Extraordinary You, you created an orignal that breaks my heart.

This show hurts so much as well, I don’t watch them if they don’t hurt in one way or another.

Lee Jong Suk stars as the main character (Kang Chul) who is also the main character of his own comic book he stars in. The issue is that he’s self aware and that there’s something wrong with his world and life. His webtoon/manga creator is trying to kill him because having his creation alive is driving him to insanity and was the only comfort when he pushed his family away for his career and alcoholism. The creator’s daughter is alerted that her father went missing while cooped up in his room while drawing Kang Chul’s death and end to the manga without a resolution to his storyline (Think of a korean Batman without the suit and brooding personality). Plot twist that’s in the synopsis, she gets pulled in by Kang Chul inside the comic and can come and go if it pertains to him because he controls it without realizing.

You have a main character who is written as this playboy orphan and sole survivor of his mass family’s murder that questions his existence and purpose BEYOND how we do. He meets this girl who speaks almost cryptically to him without realizing and knows more about him than needed or given, and now he’s experiencing oddities besides the notion of love that he can’t understand because it’s not how he is written and the glitches in his world.

This show is twisted in a psychological sense that messes with a comic character who is now alive and real, fucks up the mentality of the creator, puts the daughter in an immense amount of stress when she was just trying to be a fucking surgeon, yes, black haired Lee Tae Hwan is crush worthy in this unlike brown haired Lee Tae Hwan in Secretary Kim. (It’s the hair, you change the hair on a character and everything is different).

The exploration of what love is that works alongside the devoting dark plot of the culprit murderer really drives this show as well as the couple’s endless efforts to save/protect one another in any means necessary, even if they both suffer from it.

These two truly can’t live without one another and it shows with all they do for each other. There’s nothing they wouldn’t risk to keep one another in their arms.

And Lee Jong Suk delivers his share of being one of the King of Korean Drama Kisses as well, gif saving worthy and iconic ones as well.

#1. Strong Woman Do Bong-Soon

Park Hyungsik. Park Hyungsik. Park Hyungsik. Park Hyungsik.

Need I say more?

We stan Park Hyungsik’s character, Ahn Minhyuk, in this blog. We basically stan Do Bong Soon as well for how happy she makes him.

This is possibly totally bias but this is one of my two white noise korean drama shows that I continuously find myself rewatching time and time again. And that’s saying something since I only have one white noise show that’s in English. Three shows total.

People had issues with the script and what the actors had to say, but for the most part I thought the love story and the rival one was pretty well written, then again I kept watching different translations on different sites. So I wasn’t bothered at all. People also didn’t like the side characters and stories regarding the sketchy well dressed gang she hospitalizes in the first episode that stuck around until the last but I felt it was important to have them to prove how having Bong Soon in their lives can change a person and how she has this affect on people overall.

My god, the love story. Bong Soon has this massive crush on police officer and high school friend she was sweet on, Guk Doo, who doesn’t seem to acknowledge her feelings and is all about protecting the law and stuff (I can respect, I’m a LEO kid). He isn’t aware of her abilities of being incredibly strong and nearly indestructible. Nah, instead, CEO of AIN Software, Ahn Minhyuk, accidentally finds out and is like super chill but excited and curious about it and her??

He hires her as his bodyguard in the mist of receiving threats regarding his family company and they find an odd balance with each other while Minhyuk falls in love with her so hard, he literally tries to protect HER from danger. He’s so wonderfully extra that it’s no wonder Park Hyungsik and Park Seo Joon are best friends in real life, they both have the ability to play someone so over the top in a cute and funny way that you appreciate it about them. A cutie with a button nose and weird ears decked out in monochrome color scheme and dark sunglasses, whistling as he rides a hoverboard around? Die for 100%. Someone who gets crazy jealous and presents it in a healthily humorous way by dramatically posing to securitygates of his company that open automatically for him? Stan. Wants Bong Soon’s attention while she’s in a room away from him so her opera sings her name loudly and dramatically? Worship.

While it’s hard to watch the slow progression on her end yet the obvious budding of it, it’s understandable since she’s been in love with Guk Doo ever since high school and has assumably never had a boyfriend in hopes that he would reciprocate her feelings. So the second time watching it and stepping back to analyze, I could forgive her.

All the while, Minhyuk making Heart Eyes ™️ at Bong Soon for literally everything she does makes you feel. The way he holds her and treats her like she’s this precious porcelain doll that could break it handled the wrong way speaks volumes considering he knows of her Herculean strength. He openly loves her when he comes to realize what she means to him -which is a lot sooner than you’d think but welcomed-, and looks at no one else but her. The love story probably would’ve also happened faster if everyone didn’t think Minhyuk was gay (that’s a solid fact, I’m not joking), only those close to her and see how he acts/looks at her realize “lmao, he ain’t gay Hunni”. Minhyuk is this cute hottie that girls wish were straight (it’s fucking hilarious) who acts like a complete lovesick dork with Bong Soon. He freaks and spazzes out when she calls him a nickname or acts cheeky with dropping honorifics, speaks aloud to himself of his thoughts regarding her, literally can’t contain himself when she acts cute to get on his good side and distract his anger.

Oh and there’s like this serial kidnapper too so there’s badass scenes of the two working together, power couple def.

Their soundtrack slaps too and you somehow end up vibing with it. The song You’re My Garden on it, I learned to sing it because it’s one of my top favs.

They’re just the cutest with their hamster and puppy dog relationship. It’s my go to show and I won’t stop watching this. It’s so obvious how Park Hyungsik grew to fall in love Park Bo Young (that’s a legitimate fact) when filming and their bts cuts are too cute, I wish they were dating in real life.

(Also, we have another King of kiss scenes -to those who watched this drama already, you know the scene, iconic 🔥🎼)

[unsuccesscr]

Hello and welcome to HD Wrote 3k words of Pain.

ft @invisiquirk hc that Tooru dies at 21.

Also @needlxd and @amplifyingtrace and @rrenao make an appearance bc...OC rights babey

Heroism is a profession that is, by its very nature, fraught with danger. As such, there isn’t a single hero in existence without some scars. Physical or otherwise.

Prism was one of the few that carried hers over from childhood. By the time she experienced her first battle she was already scarred. Already bent and bruised. Already prepared to look into the face of oblivion.

Tooru is the type of person to try to hide their pain. To pretend everything is fine, to focus on everyone but herself. It’s hard to tell if her wounds have begun to heal at all, or if she’s just better at shutting people out.

Izuku likes to believe he knows her well enough to tell the difference. Knows her scars, has traced over them with gentle, careful, fingers, as she has done with his own. The ones not on her skin but within her mind and soul...those are a little more difficult to detect.

He knows some. About as much as she knows about his own. They’re not quite secret, but also not the type of thing one wants to talk about in any sort of detail. The kind that bring everything rushing back in an instant. So he doesn’t know everything, every bruise her mother had left; every nasty, vile word, spoken.

But he supposes he doesn’t need to. Tooru doesn’t need someone to hate Yue Hagakure, she needs someone that loves her. Despite all of the years that she’s been told she’s unlovable, despite all the lies Yue told her about her lack of worth. That she’s loved.

Of course, Izuku Midoriya is not the only one, not by a long shot. Tooru is as well loved as she is kind. He is, however, the only one who knows how much she needs to hear it. How easily she forgets that the world would shatter without her presence.

He’s the only one who bares witness to moments like this. Woken from some unknown nightmare, with shoulders curled forward, away from him; so she won’t wake him. As if rest is more important than this, more important than the quiet sound of her sobs.

“Tooru,” Spoken in a hushed tone. Always careful because loud noises, sudden movements, they can all reopen those unseen scars. 

In response there’s a hiccup, a hitch of breath followed by forced even heaves. A rustle of the sheets around them, as Tooru turns towards the source of the voice. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you up,” her own voice shakes, sounding oh so tired. And it hurts to wonder how long she had been like that before he had noticed.

“You should. You should wake me, I want to help.” The usual reply to the usual response. It has somehow become a part of their routine. These nightmares. Slowly, hands find hers; weaving their fingers together. He would like, in this moment, to hold her tightly. But that may be too much. “Is this ok?”

“Yes,” The affirmation is just as worn as her initial response. For a few moments they lay like that. Just listening to the sound of each other’s breathing, taking in the warmth of their shared space.

“Why do you stay with someone so broken?” Tooru asks. And she may not be broken but her voice is, clearly still in the mindset of her dream.

“You’re not broken. You’ve never been broken. Just...scarred,” Silence follows Izuku’s words. The kind of silence when she doesn’t want to argue, but doesn’t believe what he said. “I don’t know...what you were dreaming about just now…”

Tooru’s breath hitches and she tenses once more.

“I won’t ask, if you don’t want to talk about it,” The tension bleeds back out, slowly. He traces circles over her palm with the pad of his thumb. “But it wasn’t real. Even if it was a memory. It’s a lie to say you’re broken.”

There is more of that silence, so he simply continues.

“You know me better than that. You know I don’t settle. I’m with you because I want to be. Because, whether or not you believe it, you deserve love. And I'm incredibly, insanely, lucky, that I get to be someone who gives it to you.”

Finally there’s a response, a snort of laughter. Not derisive, not even laced with bitterness; genuine, if somewhat sad at the same time.

“You’re so corny,” Tooru teases, when she’s done laughing.

In place of a retort, he brings her knuckles up to his lips and gives them a small kiss. She can feel his smile against her skin. Feel the nightmare melting away.

“Hey,” Izuku speaks again after a moment “You should call in, we could stay in and watch movies and eat junk. It’s been a while since we’ve had a chill night.”

“I can’t do that, I have work. Lady Hydra depends on me, we don’t have a lot of sidekicks,” What’s unspoken is that she doesn’t want to acknowledge just how much this is affecting her. Doesn’t admit that she’s tired and the idea of doing patrol work after less than an hour of sleep isn’t appealing at all. Nowhere as appealing as sleeping in and spending time with her fiance.

“It will be fine for one day. You have sick days for a reason, someone can cover for you; just this once. Sasaki will understand, she cares about you too, you know,” One of the benefits of working for an underground hero. Or perhaps Lady Hydra was a special case. “Please?”

This is selfish, he knows. Because any day Tooru is not working as a sidekick is experience missed. She prides herself on being reliable; is reliable. But she’s also exhausted and in no state to fight. Likely, it would be fine. It always is. She’s strong and smart and always comes out relatively unscathed.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t worry. And if there’s one thing Izuku has learned over the years, it’s that sometimes being selfish is the right choice.

“This could be our last chance to hang out for a while, you know,” He adds. And it’s true, what with them both working as heroes and the wedding just around the corner.

“Okay,” Tooru relents, because it does sound like exactly what she needs. Just, a quiet day at home.

…

When Izuku stirs the next morning, it’s not with a start. It’s slowly, deliberately grasping at the dream even after it fades away. 

They’ve been tormenting him for months, these ‘could have been’ dreams. He can’t tell if they’re better or worse than the nightmares. Would she really have stayed, had he simply pressed harder? If he had insisted would she still be here? Questions like these were useless, but plagued him anyway.

In the end, things had happened the way they happened. Tooru had gone to work with a smile, Izuku hadn’t stopped her. And the hero Prism was no more.

No more than a dream that gave him a few hours of respite a night. 

The buzzing of bedside alarm was no more relentless than the forward motion of time itself, and with a worn sigh he reached over and shut it off; blinking away the lingering wetness in his eyes. 

After a dream like that, it would be a good idea to book an appointment with a grief counselor. They could tell him that it wasn’t his fault. That you can’t erase someone’s trauma with affection alone. (He knows that, of course he knows that. But he could have made her stay, made her rest). While he pretends to believe those words. Pretends that guilt isn’t festering inside along with a different, more ugly, feeling.

Izuku had been doing that for months, though, with no results. Therapy didn’t help overnight, he knew that. Was still going for things that had happened to him a decade ago. But this was different. There was something impeding any sort of progress. He couldn’t move past the moment of her death.

Holding her cold, lifeless, hand, in his own.

There were more healthy ways of grieving. His friends insisted on them. Cards with professional’s numbers on them and pamphlets for support groups. They meant well. And they were going through the same loss. Izuku wasn’t so naive as to believe that he was the only one hurting, was the only one she had left behind.

It just seemed like he was the only one unable to move on.

Somewhat reluctantly, he heaves himself out of bed and away from the comfort of the ‘what could have been’ dream and prepares for the day ahead.

…

It’s a coincidence, really, a twist of fate; that the name Hagakure passes his desk. Not Tooru Hagakure, no, there would be no reason for that name to be attached to a recent report of organized crime in Osaka.

No, this was Yue Hagakure. Cold eyes staring back through a photograph.

Funny, he’d tried to imagine this woman many times. Tried to picture the kind of person who would hold such wrath towards her own child. Somehow, she seemed even more evil than he’d assumed.

He wonders if she knows that Tooru is dead. Wonders if she knows that it's her fault. That Tooru was always a little willing to die because of what she had done.

Sick of looking at her, her name and her face, he files the folder away quickly, and moves on to the rest of the paperwork assigned to him. Not exactly glamorous work, but necessary. And informative. As Izuku files away past reports he always skims for details, learning about villains he may one day have to face.

He tries to forget what he had read about shadow manipulation, about the Yakuza branch in Osaka headed by the woman named Hagakure.

Tries to forget how long it would take him to get there from his home in Kyoto by train.

…

Iida is the first one to notice. Perhaps because he knows the feeling of wanting revenge. He sees the storm brewing before Izuku himself does. Because he’s still pretending he didn’t see that file. Ignoring all the ways he could negate shadow manipulation.

Osaka isn’t in the area covered by the Wild Wild Pussycats, anyway. It’s neighboring. The report was just about the spread of Yakuza related activity. It wasn’t a mission. He was just a sidekick.

Revenge was a dangerous path.

Iida takes him out to lunch, just the two of them. They’re friends, certainly. Izuku can even safely say that the engine hero is one of his closest friends. But they usually go out as a group. And Iida never wants to meet up on a day he has patrol, never shirks responsibility.

Izuku pretends not to see the red flags. He does an awful lot of pretending, these days.

“Midoriya,” Iida breaches the topic with an air of formality, despite their familiarity. A nervous tick Izuku knows well, but ignores. Maybe if he continues to pretend everything is fine, it will be. At the very least, he refuses to look up from his menu.

“Why haven’t you gone to the counselor?”

This gets Izuku’s attention, causing him to flinch. Appointments were made through the agency. They wouldn’t know what was discussed, but they would know if he canceled repeatedly. Which he had. Mandalay had probably relayed that detail to Iida. He wouldn’t hold it against her.

“It doesn’t help,” He opts to answer honestly. “I went a couple times, it didn’t help.

Iida frowns at the pitiful excuse for a reason, gently taking the menu from his friend’s hands and setting it down. “This kind of thing takes time. Itou still going.”

That made sense. The ex-villain was closer to Tooru than anyone. No one ever really talked about it, but Kitiara had been saved by Tooru. They were sisters, if not by blood. And if anyone knew the hole her loss had left, it would be her.

Izuku hadn’t seen her since the funeral. Not that that was her fault, he was avoiding her. Avoiding seeing that emptiness reflected back.

“I’m dealing, in my own way.” Izuku says, uncomfortable with the concerned stare of his long time friend.

“I hear there’s been a rise in Yakuza activity near Kyoto. In Osaka.” Iida says, his expression clearly stating that he sees right through the core of Izuku’s darkest thoughts.

“Yeah, I suppose so. I don’t see a lot of action, as a sidekick.” Izuku tries, in vain, to keep the conversation casual.

“Revenge won’t help.” Iida moves straight to the point.

“I know,” Izuku replies. Because he does know. But it’s getting difficult to ignore how badly he wants to make Yue Hagakure pay. At least the criminals behind Tooru’s death had already been put away. Lady Hydra had made sure of that.

Iida looks unconvinced. “I learned that lesson back at UA, you saw what happened.”

“I know. I did.” Izuku winces, trying not to look at the scar on the back of Iida’s hand. “You’re right. And I….I’m not going to do anything stupid.”

…

The next, almost as if on cue, is Todoroki. Whereas Iida has been in Izuku’s place, he has been in Tooru’s place. Has scars from the hands that were supposed to raise him gently. Had been molded into a weapon for his father’s use.

Unlike Iida, he doesn’t take no for an answer. Tells Izuku where to meet him.

Somehow, he ends up staring at the name Hagakure once more. Tooru Hagakure, engraved in stone. Early spring frost causes the grass to crunch under their feet, and Todoroki says nothing; allows Izuku to grieve in silence.

He’s not sure how long they spend there. Long enough that he can no longer feel his fingers or the tips of his ears. He’s not even sure he’s had a single thought, the entire time. Brain filled with static as he stares at the marker. Surrounded, as always, by fresh flowers.

The ice and fire user waits until they’re ready to leave to speak.

“I’ve thought about it,” Todoroki says, voice impassive “Taking down my old man for the shit he pulled.”

Izuku’s not sure how to react to this confession, looking at the unreadable expression that follows it with concern and confusion. Todoroki, in turn, looks at Tooru’s grave.

“Sometimes our demons get the best of us. When that happens...we don’t hurt only ourselves, but everyone around us. That’s why I didn’t do it. Not because he deserves forgiveness, but because I wouldn’t really be hurting him.”

Izuku swallows hard, mouth suddenly dry at the double meaning to his words.

Todoroki looks, much like Iida, directly through him when he continues. “Don’t do anything stupid, Midoriya.”

…

Predictably, the one who is able to crack through his walls, in the end, is Leia. As it so often has been since they were children.

It takes little more than her plaintive voice over the phone, telling him to get some rest.

“You haven’t taken any time off since it happened,” Leia says, in the somewhat firm (but still, oh so gentle) tone that she reserves for when either he, or Katsuki, are being particularly stubborn. “You’re going to get burnt out.”

Revenge won’t help.

Don’t do anything stupid.

“Take some time, process things. Get some rest. Please, Izuchan, i’m...worried about you. I haven’t seen you this tired since highschool.”

And she’s right. He still had nightmares, to be sure, but hadn’t outright neglected self care for years. He slept, plenty, though. It was the only time he was able to be with Tooru again.

But he’d also been working more hours than necessary. If he worked all day and slept all night he didn’t have to be alone with his thoughts. That had always been a problem for him. He’d just forgotten for a while, because for a while he wasn’t alone even when he was alone.

“I miss her.” Izuku admits for the first time out loud in a long while. “I miss her so much I...Tooru deserved better. She deserved a long, happy life. She shouldn’t have died it’s not fair.”

And he’s aware that he sounds like a child, whining about how it's not fair. But it truly wasn’t. Tooru had already been robbed of her childhood, and now she had been robbed of her future as well. She deserved so much more. A light like that shouldn’t be gone. Not when the awful woman who had hurt her still walked free.

It’s in that moment, with Leia’s words of comfort floating through the speaker of the phone, that Izuku realizes what he’s missing. Why he’s been stuck.

Closure.

…

Even if he’d tried, he didn’t forget. Didn’t forget that file on Osaka. It hadn’t contained her exact location, of course. If the police knew that, they would have brought her in already. But Izuku was smart, and he’d plenty of time on his hands; since he’d finally decided to use his time off.

Mandalay was thrilled enough that he seemed to finally be mourning in a somewhat healthy way, that she had granted the leave request without question.

From there, it was just a matter of following the trail. Yue Hagakure wasn’t as much of a ghost as she’d like to think.

…

Deku isn’t sure that Yue is surprised to see him. He doesn’t even know for sure if she knows who he is. Or, at the least, who he was to Tooru. 

And he doesn’t really care. The less he has to listen to Yue Hagakure, the better. Doesn’t care what words she uses to defend herself, if any.

Instead, he focuses on what needs to be done.

Closure.

…

The battle is hard fought, and hard won. Yue, even without the use of her quirk (he’d made sure, before cornering her, that there would be no shadows to manipulate) is a skilled fighter; and not one to give up easily.

But she underestimates him. The hero without a quirk. And that, ultimately, is her downfall. 

With her face in the dirt she continues to antagonize. The words she speaks foul and acidic. Towards him. Towards Tooru.

So she did know, after all, the reason why he, specifically, was here. He thinks about all the satisfying ways to shut her up.

…

When the police are called in Yue Hagakure is restrained and injured, but very much alive. Albeit with a somewhat spiteful gag, preventing any more vile insults.

Later, when Izuku is commended on his restraint; he doesn’t mention the fact that he’s still shaking with the urge to end her life when she’s taken away.

…

Yue Hagakure doesn’t exactly look the picture of regret, even in her holding cell. Pissed, certainly, but seemingly confident that she won’t be in there for long.

She has no idea, the enemy she made. Enemies, plural, because Izuku isn’t even close to the only person who wants her to suffer for what she did to Tooru.

Just because revenge was off the table doesn’t mean that she would get away with everything.

“You can escape. But I’ll find you again.” He says, voice startlingly calm even to himself. “And again. And again. And again.”

“I will do whatever it takes to make sure you rot in here like you deserve.”

Tooru wouldn’t get what she deserved, the happy life, the peace. There was nothing he could do about that now. But Yue Hagakure would get all she deserved, that much was certain.

[cookinguptales]

So while I was in NYC, I got to see Mean Girls, Spongebob Squarepants, and Anastasia. It was really a combination of lottery winnings and tkts, though I did splurge and get myself the Mean Girls ticket ahead of time. Despite how I got the rest of the tickets, I actually had pretty good seats at all the shows! So that part was nice.

More in-depth thoughts under a cut, but can I just say how weird it is that like... I think I had the most fun at Spongebob? I only went bc I won the lottery but like. I genuinely enjoyed that show. lol. Reminds me of when I went to see Shrek: The Musical on a lark with my friend, and we were shocked that it’s actually a great show.

I saw Spongebob first, an evening show. It was also my most high-pain day, so I have to admit that something funny and a little stupid (with a good heart) was probably exactly what I needed. The music was fun and catchy (not a shock, I guess, considering the people they got to do music for them) and the actors did a really spectacular job. I realized after coming home that I had some different actors than appear on the recording, but I liked my actors more. The Mr. Krabs I saw sounded so spot-on that it was a little creepy, lol, and our Plankton was super fun. I was kind of shocked when the guy who played Squidward started talking in a straight-up British accent after the show, lmao.

I laughed at a lot of the jokes, and though I never really expected to see Patrick Star leading a cult, it was apparently exactly what I wanted out of my evening. Plus, it actually had some pretty good lessons for kids. Don’t turn on each other and scapegoat immigrants when bad things happen, think for yourselves and always try to fix problems rather than running away from them, sometimes people say things that sound profound but won’t actually help you, diversity is valuable… I think it kind of veered into a trope I’m not in love with (immigrants are great because they’re useful) but I think it was also good for kids to see a character who was female (and played by a black woman) who was fantastic at science, kind, determined, and the one who ultimately saves the day. I also liked that the show was clear that her pain and wariness didn’t go away just because people started accepting her again. I think it managed to go in on some really good lessons without ever feeling preachy about it.

Plus, again, the show was just super fun. I love how it played with the space (like the way the actors kept interacting with the band and the conductor) and the jokes were genuinely funny. Patchy wandering around and trying to crash the show was great. The songs were catchy and fun and it was really cohesively done. Also, I think it really managed to nail the feeling of the characters and this underwater world without being too on-the-nose. (I’m looking at you, Little Mermaid.)

Was it the deepest, most memorable show I’ve ever seen? No. But it was a lot of fun, and fun is frankly what I needed right then.

Next, I saw Mean Girls. I’ll admit that my enjoyment of this show was marred by a couple things. It’s not the most accessible theater (I never did get to see the merch booth…) and the lead actress was out. There was a standby actress who could play like… 6-7 different characters? And I was really ??? when I saw that, like. There were really two options. Either she’s the best actress on earth, who can totally transform herself so she can play such diverse roles… or she’s generic af. Unfortunately, she turned out to be the latter. Like, don’t get me wrong! She was technically proficient and could sing really well! She just didn’t feel like Cady. There was something missing there, y’know? Some spark or charisma. She was just boring to watch, which kind of dampened the whole show. I overheard that it was her first time playing Cady, though, so idk. Maybe she was just nervous.

That aside, though, I did enjoy the show! It was a Wednesday (so I did wear pink) and it had a lot of the heart of the movie. It was really funny, and I liked how Janice and Damien were used to frame the show. They made for great, hilarious narrators. I really enjoyed most of the songs, too. Some were a little forgettable, I’ll admit, but others were really touching (particularly Gretchen’s solos) or super funny. Damien sings a whole song about how sometimes you just need to STOP and I loved it. The song was hilarious. The script itself was packed with good stuff. There were great jokes and good social commentary, more depth for some of the forgotten side characters and some really touching moments.

Plus, Cady aside, the rest of the actors did a tremendous job. My one gripe with the original movie is that… idk, the actress who played Regina George never quite felt like she could actually be a queen bee in a real school. Is that weird to say? The other girls around her just felt prettier and more charismatic, so it was hard to buy that she would actually be in charge. The Regina in the musical, though? Holy shit, you feel it. That woman could walk through Times Square and every eye would be on her. She did an absolutely fantastic job with Regina, and the other huge standouts to me were Gretchen and Janice. Just excellent, excellent jobs all around. I really love how much time the show gave to Gretchen so you could really get where she was coming from. Get that poor girl a therapist, honestly.

I think part of the problem is that, all things considered, it’s difficult not to compare Mean Girls to Heathers. And frankly, Heathers is a better show, imo. They’re both good! But I do sort of feel like Mean Girls could’ve gone in a little harder, and its music wasn’t nearly as memorable as Heathers’s. That said, like Heathers, Mean Girls: The Musical has a LOT more potential for f/f than the movie. lmao. And isn’t that really what we’re all here for?

(I mean no, probably not, but it’s what I’m here for.)

The third show I saw was Anastasia, and I gotta admit it. I’m shocked how much I didn’t like Anastasia. I’ve been wanting to see it for ages because that movie was my childhood, but I bounced hard off that show. Like I was kind of hanging in there for the first act, but I was literally wishing I could check my watch during the second act. Plus we had an u/s for Dmitri and he was. Not fabulous. I always feel bad saying that about understudies but like. He was……… not fabulous. So the criticisms I have going forward about Dmitri in the show might be colored by that. Bear with me.

Now, the show is super different from the movie. And I understand why they chose to go for realism rather than fantasy, but I disagree with that choice very, very firmly. Not only did it make the whole show a real fucking downer, but like… I feel like when you make movies about real people, you either have to go completely realistic or go real fucking far off the deep end. Like the movie really went in on the near-mythic stature that Anastasia and Rasputin had in history and folklore during that period. It went in hard with magic and zombies and had a real fairy tale feeling that only really worked because of the wild tales people were already telling about the historical personages. No one watched the animated movie about Anastasia and went “wow, I bet that’s just like real life”.

The show decided that they wanted to be more realistic and talk about like. God, execution of political prisoners and people starving in the streets and refugees and just generally the politics of Leningrad. So not only was that fucking depressing, but it really pulled things back to be like… If you’re being all realistic about this, shouldn’t you be more realistic about the real life people you’re using for this story? This isn’t how Anastasia’s life went, and I can buy that in a fantasy what if? AU, but when you’re aiming for gritty realism, then telling this story about a person who was executed (and yes, we now know she was executed) is just… It feels disrespectful, y’know?

Plus once you start bringing in the real politics of the world, I’m going to start examining the characters through a real historical lens. A love triangle is annoying and unnecessary anyway, but you managed to make it fucking creepy by having this guy stalk her after his dad killed her entire family, and while he’s still working for an oppressive regime. That’s not romantic! But you also managed to fuck up royally by making that actor far more handsome and charismatic, not to mention a much better singer, than the actual love interest!

Like! Dmitri only barely worked in the movie, y’know? You have to straddle such a fine, fine line with a lovable con man. If you take out the lovable, he’s just a fucking con man. And in the show, he just felt like a con man. Again, the fact that the u/s couldn’t sing all that well (he went sour several times and sometimes sounded just like Ernie, of Sesame Street, which is kind of the opposite of sexy) did not help things. But he was also just a fucking dick to Anya and it was difficult to tell why she liked him, other than the writing’s new decision to make her basically a street urchin like him. (As in, she’d been living on the street for many years previous to the show’s start — he also never worked in the palace and saved her life in the musical; it was never actually stated how she escaped in the musical.)

The actress who played Anya did an amazing job, but the writing for her character was pretty ??? most of the time. Like I get that you want to make her feisty (and why did you choose AN ATTEMPTED RAPE TO DISPLAY HER STRENGTH?) but if she’s really so street smart, why does she constantly make bizarre decisions? Why does she want to go to Paris if she doesn’t have the Together In Paris necklace? Why is she having a weird love triangle between a man who verbally abuses her and a government official who wants her dead? WHY DID YOU MAKE IT CLEAR THAT SHE HAD A DOG AND THE DOG IS DEAD? Poor Pooka!

Speaking of people I can’t root for knowing actual historical fact, they changed Sophie into an ex-Russian dilettante named Lily who spends all her time complaining that she used to be rich af in Russia and it’s so sad that all of the Russian elite had to give up their major Russian fortunes so they could… have minor French fortunes and cushy jobs. Like every time they started reminiscing about the good ol’ days in Russia, I was just like “oh right, that’s why they had a revolution, eat the fucking rich”. Like the new background they made up just made me despise her and all her friends.

They also made Anastasia’s grandma kind of a bitch. You’re really kind of forcibly reminded how awful monarchies can be whenever she talks about politics! And that cute, short scene in the movie where she finally meets Anya? Drawn out to like a half hour of this old woman rambling about how awful the world is and how she hates everyone and Anya is just a tricksy bitch. Fun times for all!

Plus like. I don’t remember a single song from the musical that wasn’t in the movie. I hate that they took out all of the magic and the talking animals and Rasputin (how did they never even mention the HISTORICAL one?) and they just had to rub it in by cannibalizing In The Dark of The Night and turning it into a depressing-ass song about political refugees who were fleeing Russia and would never see it again. (Note: the singer of this song was shot in the head by Russian authorities shortly after singing it.)

The only thing the musical really did was make me so sad for these people who had a revolution because their rulers were deeply corrupt and used the lives of the poor like pawns, and then had an equally corrupt government regime move in. The people were starving either way! And the musical trying to romanticize all that (they kind of wanted to acknowledge the historical crimes but still make me like the people who caused the problems??) just felt awful. They tried to work this story in with the real historical timeline by being like YEAH SHE WAS REAL AND THEY REUNITED BUT THEN SHE DECIDED TO LEAVE AND NEVER TELL ANYONE WHO SHE WAS AGAIN SO THE CREEP IN THE GOVERNMENT DIDN’T GET IN TROUBLE AND NO ONE EVER KNEW THAT THE REAL ANASTASIA WAS ALIVE. Like what. No. They found her fucking corpse. You can’t try to follow real life and have her actually be Anastasia. You can’t have your cake and eat it too! Do you want to make a musical about the plight of the Russians during this time period, or do you want to write a fairy tale? You can’t do both! All you’ve managed to do is play out some bad history and make me feel kind of gross.

….and boring music, questionable politics, and fuckin dreariness aside, the writing was just bad. The second act dragged on and on and on because they would never say in a minute what they could say in an hour. I was kind of bored and annoyed both. If you’re going to change a story and add an hour and a half of material, it better be good material. And it wasn’t. The only bright spots for me were the spectacular costumes (really gorgeous), the interesting sets, and the woman who plays Anastasia.

Other than that, I was not thrilled. All it did was make me want to go watch the ding-dang movie so I could just see the ding-dang bat.

[kyunsies]

Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this��“workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ 

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!! 

[hitomishiga]

leahruby

hell yeaaah im not gonna do em justice but mm tastey..

Gives nose/forehead kisses: ruby and you know it. you know this already. ruby giving leah a nose kiss is such a aesthetique and a half. however, leah is more likely to go for the lips first, i think. surprisingly.

Gets jealous the most: leah!! even tho theyre both spoiled younger sisters leah seems like the more bratty of the two. god girl just admit ur feelings. idiot.

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive: its a funny but implausible mental image either way bc they both have big sister chauffeurs. sister battle. also i dont see either of them as drinking too much without thinking of precautions + drivers, so

Takes care of on sick days: this could go either way ruby has a very caring and distinctly maternal feel, idk how to desribe it, but she’d know what to do if u were sick. leah may or may not be as well acquainted with all these remedies but she tries her best, dammit. maybe a little too much?

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day: ruby!! shes a ray of sunshine and her gf is a fucking goth! its dichotomy.

Gives unprompted massages: i mean i wanna say ruby again, but like.... only once shes suuper comfortable bc shes still just a nervous lil angel yknow? leah feels a lil more confident abt this kinda stuff so...

Drives/rides shotgun: the concept of either of them driving is funny but like. leah would drive? i feel? ruby likes having control of the music and u cant do that WHILE you’re driving thats illegal leah-chan,

Brings the other lunch at work: u think itd be ruby, but leah like, works at a restaurant or w/e doesnt she.... she loves stupid grand gestures of romance when it makes ruby happy. just not all the time

Has the better parental relationship: ?????????????? whom?????????? id say leah only bc we arent sure what the kazuno family sitch is even like

Tries to start role-playing in bed: im crying trying to think abt this question with these two!

Embarrassingly drunk dancer: theyre both lightweights but leah moreso, either bc she cant handle it or just like, overestimates her capacity. idk if shed be an embarrassing dancer. maybe she initiates rap battles when shes drunk.

Still cries watching Titanic: both but mostly rubles, she just thinks its so poignant and beautiful

Firmly believes in couples costumes: this is soooo difficult bc like, ofc ruby would. but is it just to see leah in a cute costume? absolutely! does it go equally the other way? yes!

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas: ruby is the richest but idk what the financial status of the kazunos is. i feel like they both would, every year. they say they wont buy any expensive presents but then ruby comes back with like twenty different plushies and love hearts and shit and leah has this exquisite necklace and they both just. Oh You!

Makes the other eat breakfast: take turns. they have to take turns! i dont know why thats just what im feeling! maybe they even make breakfast together sometimes! theyre sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo halmark

Remembers anniversaries: i wanna say they both do, again. ruby wouldnt forget important things like that, surely. theyd probably have their own ‘anniversary’ dates that theyd each remember, real stupid ones like ‘remember our first date in the summer?’ or ‘todays the six month anniversary since you won me that prize at the festival!’ stuff like that

Brings up having kids: leah thinks she’s bein savvy when she brings it up but really, rubys been leading onto this for ages now.

[whispersatdawn]

A Flower’s Path | Pt. 2

GIF Credit to: ygo-gx​

Pt. 1 | Pt. 3

Pairing: Ban Ryu (Do Ji Han) X Reader

Genre: angst, coming-of-age, slight!romance

Word Count: 2,719

Request: Hi! For the Hwarang scenarios, what about one where you are a great enough fighter that you are asked to be the ONLY female hwarang (but against your will). Once inside, Ban Ryu is constantly complaining about how you shouldn’t be there and how it’s a disgrace for a woman to be in the Hwarang house. The two of you keep bashing heads bc even though you didn’t want to be there, you weren’t going to take that from him. Once the princess gets there she gets jealous that most of the hwarang gets close with the female hwarang and tries to get rid of her. - @starbooks13

Ban Ryu’s irritation resonated through the whole room, and it felt like the temperature dropped. The frigid air almost matched the iciness in his eyes. Your hands tightened by your side. You did not like the way he spoke about you nor were you going to allow those words to leave his mouth again. “If one is able to improve Hwarang, then I am willing to bend the rules a little, whether that help be a man or a woman, Ban Ryu,” Master Wi Hwa said. “It is no different than allowing a half-blood like Sun Woo or one of royal blood like you in this household. None of those things will matter here. As for the upset officials, I cannot help with what their sons lacked. (Y/N) will be staying as the queen ordered.”

“You must be intimidated.”

Hearing your voice, the other Hwarangs turned to you, eyes wide. Ban Ryu narrowed his eyes. “What?” 

“Doesn’t Park Young Sil despise Her Majesty? So, why would he have his adoptive son join Hwarang unless there was an ulterior motive? Is there? Don’t think that I am not aware of your stance on the formation of Hwarang either, Ban Ryu. If you don’t like such idea, what bothers you so much about me being here then? Other than me being a lady.”

You crossed your arms, waiting for a counterargument. Ban Ryu’s jaw clenched, and his brows furrowed. He started to open his mouth again to bite back when Master Wi Hwa immediately cut off the quarrel. “Enough. Both of you,” he ordered sternly. The chief instructor glanced over at you. “Go see Miss Ah Ro for your uniform right now and return for training.”

You were the first one to end the glaring competition between you and the other angry royal blood, knowing that your father wouldn’t be happy if he was to hear about your attempt to kill a member of Hwarang on your first day. “I shall meet with Miss Ah Ro,” you answered. You walked through the group of males, and their eyes continued to follow you. On your way out, you passed by Ban Ryu, but not without hearing him slip a quick murmur.

“Wench.”

As soon as you stepped outside of the lesson room, you let out a loud annoyed sigh, walking to the physician’s room. “First day here and I’ve already been targeted by Ban Ryu, that jerk. I should just cut off his tongue so that he can’t say anything else. Ugh! Father, I don’t think I can do this.”

Maybe if you gave up fighting and married instead, you wouldn’t have to stay. No. Fighting was something you excelled at. Your father wanted you to use those skills for a bigger purpose. He would be so proud. Plus, if you decide to just leave, that would definitely feed Ban Ryu’s satisfaction. You’d rather die than give him that.

Landing yourself in front of what you figured to be the physician’s room, you slowly opened up the door. “Miss... Ah Ro?” When she heard your voice, Ah Ro turned to you and hurried to stand.

“Miss (Y/N)! It's been a while since we’ve last seen each other!” she exclaimed with a smile. “I was told that you would be coming to see me. Please come in.”

You smiled back and stepped into the room. You were acquainted to Ah Ro because of her well-known father from the village. Even though you had your own family physician, sometimes you preferred to see the best physician instead. During those visits, Ah Ro would occasionally be there as well, and the two of you exchanged few words.

“I am both surprised and in awe that you have chosen to become a Hwarang, Miss (Y/N). My brother told me that a woman was joining.”

“Your brother?” you asked, puzzled. Ah Ro has never mentioned a brother. You were so sure you’ve never seen anyone else besides Ah Ro and her father live together.

“Ah, yes. It is... quite a long story. I have found my long lost brother,” she said, a sincere smile appearing on her face. “His name is Sun Woo. I think-”

“The half-blood. I remember Master Wi Hwa mentioning him.”

Ah Ro nodded her head. “I hope you are able to assist him while you’re here, Miss (Y/N). My brother is always doing his own things that it can get him in trouble. He does before he thinks. He doesn’t have the best view on royal bloods, but he will definitely warm up to those he grows to care for.”

“Duly noted.”

“I am delighted that there is another lady here in the Hwarang House with me. I hope we become closer.” Ah Ro reached for something on the table, and when she held it up, you realized it was your uniform. The uniform looked similar to the male’s with a few adjustments. Instead of it being blue on the side with purple accents, yours was switched. You actually liked it.

You took the uniform from Ah Ro. “I am just as delighted that you’re here, too,” you told Ah Ro, face lighting up. “At least there’s someone here who hasn’t given me such a hard time.”

“Has someone already done so?” Ah Ro inquired.

“Yes.” A very clear image appeared in your mind. “But it’s not something I can’t handle so I am not worried. Thank you for the uniform, Ah Ro.”

“Good luck, Miss (Y/N)!”

Once you changed into your new attire and felt the new fabric on your skin, that was when your title of a “Hwarang” seemed official. The uniform itself was a display of what you stood for to everyone else, but what exactly was its meaning? Were you really a protector for the people? Or just a pawn for the queen?  “Hwarang,” you whispered to yourself. Even the name on your tongue carried quite some weight.

You gathered all of you hair to tie into a neat ponytail before heading back outside to the training area as asked. Even though you didn’t want to admit it, the number of males around intimidated you. There was not a single person that you considered yourself close with. You knew most of the family they came from, but to answer about their personal lives would be quite difficult. Scanning the group, you tried to find at least one person to stand next to.

Just then, there was a small tap on your shoulder and a voice that called your name, “(Y/N).” You turned around to find Soo Ho.

“Oh, Soo Ho!” you replied, letting out a small gasp of surprise. You had no idea he would approach you. “I haven’t seen you since you joined the group. It is nice to see you again. My father kept going on how I should stick with you once I got in here, haha.”

Soo Ho chuckled. “Is that so? My father also told me that I should help you as much as I can with your first few days here. I doubt you’ll need my help though. Still, I am here if you need anything. Come on, I’ll take you to some of the other people that I'm close to here.”

You followed behind Soo Ho until he stopped in front of his friends. “(Y/N), I’m sure you know some of them already,” Soo Ho said.

Looking around, you nodded.

“Wow, you look really cool, (Y/N)!” Han Sung exclaimed. “You already fit right in with us! Don’t you think so Yeo Wool?” Yeo Wool, who was standing right next to Han Sung, nodded his head in approval.

The compliment made your cheeks flush a little. “Thank you,” you said before turning to face the fighting equipment. “So, how does training work around here? Do we just pick up a weapon and find someone to fight?”

“Sounds like someone’s a little eager for combat,” Ji Dwi said, a look of amusement in his eyes. “That usually is it, but the instructor usually tells us what we’ll be doing until dinner. What? Are you a little fired up from your little argument a while ago?”

You rolled your eyes, groaning. “Please don’t remind me.”

“I bet money that (Y/N) will win if she actually fights with Ban Ryu. I’ve seen her before. I’m glad she put that jerk in his spot today,” Soo Ho said confidently.

You couldn’t help but laugh until you felt a rough bump against your shoulder, pushing your body back. The laugh immediately stopped, and you shot a glare at the culprit. “Speak of the devil,” you muttered under your breath.

After taking a deep breath, you tried your best to remain calm. “You should really watch where you’re going,” you told Ban Ryu.

“You should really watch where you’re standing, princess” he said in retaliation. “Like I said, if you can’t handle what goes on here, it’s not the place for you.” Ban Ryu proceeded to walk away, standing a few feet in front of you.

In your head, you cursed him many times. You couldn’t understand how mighty he walked around when words like that left his mouth. “I really hate him,” Han Sung huffed, crossing his arms. You agreed.

A loud gong rang out. You straightened up at the sound, signaling for attention and watched the instructor walk out. “Today, we shall practice with knives. I’ll teach you the basics in how to avoid a knife as well as how to fight without a weapon when you’re up against an opponent with a knife. Afterwards, you will take turns practicing with a partner. Do well and we’ll finish early.”

Partner, you thought to yourself. Anyone but him, please.

Your faith in the heavens became stronger. You ended up pairing with Ah Ro’s brother during practice. While you both went over the moves, you caught some ill-mannered guys loudly talking about how you and Sun Woo were great matches with each other.

“Isn’t (Y/N) great at fighting though?”

“Come on. How great can she be? Probably good for a girl but she’s nothing compared to us. Then there’s Sun Woo. He can barely fight.”

You wanted so bad to talk back, but you didn’t want them to ruin training time for you at all. Maybe there’ll be a day for you to teach them a lesson. “Don’t worry about them,” Sun Woo said as he continued to dodge your attacks.

You swiped your knife to the half blood’s left, hitting air when he moved away. “I’m not worried about them,” you promised. “You shouldn’t be either. Focus on my moves.”

“I don’t wanna sound rude,” Sun Woo said, dodging another of your strikes, “but are you really good at fighting? I mean, you must be since the queen brought you in. Everyone is saying something, but I haven’t seen it for myself yet. I’m quite curious.”

You smirked. The sun was beating down in the late afternoon. You noticed the sweat on Sun Woo’s face. He was breathing heavily as he tried to keep up. “You wanna know a secret, Sun Woo?”

“What?”

“I’m going easy on you.”

“What?! This is you going easy on me?!”

A little more than a week in the Hwarang House later, you finally started to get the hang of things. You would eat meals with Soo Ho, Ji Dwi, Han Sung, Yeo Wool and Sun Woo. During the break times, you would sometime go visit Ah Ro. Training was still your favorite time of the day. The insults lessened when the instructor started one-on-one sparring, and you were up against the fools who spoke badly about you, putting them in their place. Having been humiliated, they didn’t say anything bad to you anymore.

Ban Ryu still took jibes at you whenever he found a chance, and you would always counter. Even Master Wi Hwa was getting tired of the altercations. A few days ago, both of you had to go in town to retrieve some medicine for Ah Ro while she tended an injured Hwarang. Master Wi Hwa thought it would help the two of you reconcile, but you two clashed walking all the way back. Therefore, Master Wi Hwa pledged to never allow the both of you to go out in public together ever again.

After training for the day, you made your way to the bathhouse. While the rest of the Hwarangs were assigned to showers after dinner, yours was before. You hated sweat sticking onto you while you ate. The stench along with it wasn’t pleasant, either. You didn’t know how the men did it. You soon found the doors to the bathhouse and pushed it open. “Hello?” you called to make sure the room was empty. When no response returned, you closed the doors behind you and undressed.

Warm waters ran down from your hair all the way to your toes. Stress went away, and you let out a long sigh. You couldn’t wait to visit home in a few days. Father would most likely want updates, and you wanted to let Soonja know how you were managing, too.

You were letting the water wash all of the soap suds away on your body when you thought you heard footsteps from outside of the bathhouse. Wiping the water from your eyes and lowering the strength of the shower head, you stopped to listen to the noise outside.

As you figured, they were indeed footsteps. “What in the world?” you said to yourself. No one was allowed to be around the bathhouse at this time except for you. You froze, suddenly realizing that anyone could be outside right now. You looked down at your naked body, a million thoughts running through your head. The showers had covers on both sides of you, so whoever walked in wouldn’t be able to see anything other than your face. Still, that didn’t help you feel any better.

Your eyes pinned to the door, waiting on any movement. The door started to shake a bit. Your felt your hairs stand up. I’m going to kill whoever walks in, you thought to yourself. You thought of yelling to let the person on the other side know that you were already occupying the bathhouse, but it was too late.

The door opened, and as soon as you met eyes with the intruder, you let out a scream. “Ahhh!”

“Ahhh!” A deep voice screamed back at you.

Ban Ryu quickly covered his eyes while you shielded your body with your arms. “What are you doing here?! You’re not supposed to be in here! Get out you pervert!”

You were pretty sure your face was red from embarrassment, and so was Ban Ryu’s because he immediately shut the door closed. You could hear his quick footsteps leaving the bathhouse. You turned off the water and hurried to dress back in your uniform.

It was time for dinner, and you made it to the entrance. You looked in the dining hall to find your group of friends. As your eyes searched, you found Ban Ryu sitting at a table with his group. At the same time, Ban Ryu glanced up and saw you standing outside the door. His eye widened, and he started to cough, surprising everyone at that table. “Ban Ryu, are you okay?! Drink some water.”

You felt your cheeks heat. You rushed inside to get your tray of food and sat at your table. The minute you sat down, you began to stuff yourself with spoonfuls of rice. “Slow down over there or you’ll choke,” Sun Woo deadpanned, looking over at you as he paced his own eating.

“(Y/N) is probably just hungry. She’s eating well, and I think she looks pretty like that.” Han Sung beamed. “(Y/N) looks like a cute chipmunk with her cheeks puffing out when she eats.”

“No... she’s definitely going to choke if she doesn’t slow down,” Ji Dwi said, agreeing with Sun Woo.

“Anyway, what do you think about the princess coming to see us?” Soo Ho brought up. “She’s coming in two days, and no one has any idea why.”

“It’s probably not a good one,” Ji Dwi mumbled.

Yeo Wool shook his head. “I, for one, actually think it may be interesting. What do you think, (Y/N)?”

[ravenvsfox]

okay folks time for renison for the ask meme (part two of anon’s request) let’s dive in

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…

who is more likely to hurt the other?

i wanna say that they’ve transcended hurt and experience only love and peace for the rest of their lives but unfortunately.... allison.... is a bitch bless her

basically I think allison can be harsh when she’s upset and she tries to make sure that shit never touches renee but sometimes it does and she likes it when she can upset ppl bc it makes her feel strong again? but she also can’t stand renee hurting so it’s this constant discord. (but also renee pulls away so much to protect people and it hurts allison to see her go, sometimes.)

who is emotionally stronger?

they’re both absolute warriors lemme tell you. remember when allison’s boyfriend died and she pulled her hair back and got to fucking work?? remember when renee’s life was a vicious cycle of abuse and she took up a bible and started smacking ppl around with it?? BOTH of them could be sifting through their emotional baggage at 5 and kicking ass at 5:30 tbh

who is physically stronger?

renee,,,,, could kill you with her hands tied behind her back

she spars and LIFTS she is gentle and small and she has a six pack and she carries her gf to bed

who is more likely to break a bone? 

I can’t imagine anything getting the best of renee even like.. the ground... but also allison walks in towering heels 24/7 and has yet to bust her ass so maybe they’re both superhuman?? I feel like maybe renee would take things too far and break a pinky when she’s scrapping with andrew and probably dead-faced set her own finger and leave every fox....... shaken

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

Allison can rip out every follicle of your hair if she’s in the mood, she’s neil with crystal earrings, just bc her mouth is all perfectly applicated peaches & cream doesn’t mean it’s not filthy

she never uses renee’s past against her though. never.

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

I think renee is a LOT more willing to admit when she’s in the wrong, and her life is pretty much a balance of redemption and honesty so I think she apologizes very earnestly and seriously and allison basically snorts and tells her it’s forgotten and goes in for neck kisses

allison is a liiiittle too proud to apologize but when she knows she’s done BAD and when they’re alone & intimate in their apartment allison will come in crying and bare-faced and apologize and apologize and apologize

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

renee is scrappy and allison hates it but she’ll sit down for hours making sure every bit of renee is seen to, and she’ll neatly cover up renee’s bruises like she did for neil, quiet and sweet and methodical like she rarely is

who is in constant need of comfort? 

yikes it’s always both w our foxes man

I think allison’s loss is such a fresh wound in her mind and it’s so constant. She still feels so brutally undervalued for her talent and her ingenuity and her strength, and like. that gets bad. Renee’s loss runs deeper and harder and she can’t even think about it, most of the time. She’s making constant amends, but no matter how many times she prays before bed the nightmares still come. (so does allison, lighting sweet smelling candles and brushing renee’s hair back and kissing her face)

who gets more jealous? 

TOUGH bc I think renee projects this very ‘i’ve transcended human emotions and am an eternal sweetie with clothes knit from bible verses’ but she’s still very human and her girlfriend is very very hot and if one more man touches allison without her permission renee will take his hand off :))

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

okay... neither.. 

who will propose? 

I think allison would and I think she would spend 1 million dollars trying to make it unforgettable even though they could be collapsed on the court after a game and renee would say yes? they could be in bed or walking with their arms linked or having their weekly chinese food with dan and matt and renee would always say yes

(she proposes when they’re on vacation, at some european cathedral with streaming stained glass so renee can feel as close to god as allison feels to renee, and every pew is filled with a different colour of flower and a choir sings something ancient and sapphic ok bye)

who has the most difficult parents?

THIS QUESTION DOESN’T WORK FOR FOXES HOLY FUCK THEIR PARENTS ALL SUCK TAINTS THAT’S WHY THEY’VE UPGRADED TO SUPER DAD DAVID WYMACK

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

it’s pretty equal on the PDA front they’re very affectionate ppl

like I imagine Allison w her hands in the pockets of her designer bomber jacket and renee slipping her hand in too and smiling like fucking summer just rolled in early and hung up its coat

who comes up for the other all the time? 

you know that post where allison calls renee ‘exy’s cutest goalkeeper’?? yeah.. picture that.... all the time

who hogs the blankets? 

you’d think allison bc she enjoys the height of luxury at All Times but it’s renee actually she nests it’s what she does

I think bc she’s so comfortable that she subconsciously lets herself take more than her fair share

who gets more sad? 

allison is more outwardly sad, and it manifests itself in a shade that’s almost angry, almost nothing at all

she hates that she never got to see what seth could have been and she hates that her parents don’t love her and she hates the sight of her own face sometimes

renee doesn’t let the darkness in but when she does she spirals, hard, and she can’t even feel worthy of the cross she wears or the friends she keeps

who is better at cheering the other up? 

allison is such a whirlwind that she can crush sadness under her stilettos tbh like if renee can’t quite get her serene mask tied at the back allison will come in with truckloads of food and a brand fuckin new rhinestone cross (it was the early 2000′s... leave them be) and Dan in tow, and they talk around renee until she feels herself enough to pay attention and actually... smile a real smile

renee is a soother and she knows how to fight bad moods off, so she can calm people down, but allison can pump them up

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

i feel like renee is more likely to just look very wryly and fondly at allison if she says something ridiculous, but allison would be more of a slapper

who is more streetwise?

LMAO uh renee. next

who is more wise?

renee has that kind of all-knowing aura about her like I bet she knows the weirdest shit. Allison is smart in a very straightforward, brisk, I know how to fix this or work this out way, but renee just. knows things

who’s the shyest? 

also hilarious allison will stare a stranger down until they cower and die and renee is the most soft-spoken kiddo on earth

like it’s more of a self-imposed restraint than shyness but the fact remains that allison is an extrovertTM and renee is always going to look calm next to her

who boasts about the other more? 

allison thinks renee is the best thing that’s ever happened and she will show renee off the same way she shows off her wealth tbh bc renee is PRECIOUS to her anyway

who sits on who’s lap? 

renee sits in allison’s for height reasons, and bc allison buries her face in her hair and calls her baby when she does and it’s this whole spectacle