#i will admit that i probably lack vitamin D | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

crystalninjaphoenix · 4 years ago

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Visits & Visions

A JSE Fanfic

This story is about a page shorter than my usual stuff, but it’s still a lot of pages. There’s a lot of setup with not as much action this time around. Chase visits more people. We check on Schneep again, finally returning to his POV. And then Anti acts like an evil asshole, because he is an evil asshole. Yeah, not much to say about this one. Hope you guys like it regardless :>

You can find the other stories under the pw timeline tag!

Chase opened the curtains on the bedroom, letting in a wash of sunlight. The bright light was quickly absorbed by the dark blue paint on the walls, but still lit up the desk and swivel chair, dresser and closet, shelves with books and knickknacks, and the bed with the nightstand next to it. Marvin, lying in bed, pulled the blanket up over his head and groaned.

“Sit up and absorb the Vitamin D, bro,” Chase said, sitting down in the swivel chair. Marvin’s cat Ragamuffin was lying on the desk nearby. On top of Marvin’s laptop, to be exact. He peeked open his eyes when Chase sat down, then dismissed him and closed them again.

“No,” Marvin said stubbornly. “I’ll eat a lemon or something instead.”

“Well, first of all, that would be really sour so, uh, maybe not,” Chase pointed out. “And second of all, that’s Vitamin C.”

Marvin groaned again, this time clearly putting on an act. He pushed away the blankets and sat up, running fingers through his messy hair in an effort to semi-comb it. “I look like shit,” he muttered.

“Didn’t you have a hairbrush in here somewhere?” Chase asked, looking around. “Oh, there.” He stood up and walked over to the dresser to grab the brush, which he then handed to Marvin.

“Thanks,” Marvin said, accepting the brush and running it through his hair. He managed to untangle some of the worst of it when he stopped and put the brush on his nightstand. His eyes were cloudy, staring out the window with a vague, far-off gaze. Then he lowered his head into his hands. “Fuck this,” he said, a sob catching onto the end of his voice.

“Oh geez.” There was a tissue box on the dresser as well. Chase picked it up, pulled out a tissue, and handed it to Marvin.

Marvin accepted the tissue, mumbling another “thanks�� and pressing it to his eyes. He...well, he’d looked better. Chase was pretty sure he’d been in bed for at least a whole day. Which, Chase had to admit, he could relate to. Sometimes it was tough. And having your friend kidnapped wasn’t easy, for obvious reasons. Jameson had been missing for about three weeks now, and Marvin was having trouble with that. True, he hadn’t reacted this strongly when Jackie disappeared, but even then, he’d had to take a week to himself. And Chase knew that Marvin was pretty close with JJ. He hadn’t been crying about it as much lately, but it would still happen, seemingly triggered by him just...thinking about the situation.

“You need to drink some water, bro,” Chase said. “Losing all this, uh...moisture isn’t good.”

“Moisture?” That momentarily distracted Marvin as he raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“Well, I wasn’t going to say ‘fluids.’ You probably would’ve called that out, too.”

“Ah, fair, I guess.” Marvin crumpled up the used tissue and dropped it into the trash bin he’d recently moved near the bed. “Anyway. What’s up with you? What’ve you been doing?”

“Hey, I’m serious about that water thing. You want me to go get a glass from the kitchen?”

“I...yeah, sure. I have a hydro flask in one of the cupboards, use that, not a glass. I don’t want to knock anything over.”

“Great. Be right back.” Chase stood up and hurried to the kitchen. He quickly found the water bottle in one of the cabinets, filling it up with tap water and a few ice cubes before heading back to the bedroom. When he returned, Marvin was lying down again, slowly petting Ragamuffin, who was sitting on the pillow nearby with his head on Marvin’s neck. Chase raised an eyebrow. “That can’t be comfortable.”

“Shhhh. You don’t know the fluffiness,” Marvin said.

“Yeah, I do. I’ve pet him many many times before.” Chase handed Marvin the water bottle. “Good thing I used the lid with the spout thing. Here. Drink that.”

“Mmm.” Marvin started sipping through the attached straw while Chase retook his usual position. After a while, he said, “Soooo...can I ask you what you’ve been doing now?”

“Well I mean...a lot,” Chase said. “I’ve been visiting Schneep and Jack. Both of them are looking a lot better. You should really come with one time, they’d both love to see you, probably Jack especially. Though I mean, talking might be a bit awkward at first. You ever heard of a communication board?”

“Of course. Is Jack using one of those?”

“Yeah, exactly. Cause his, uh, talking and moving isn’t up to par yet.” Chase rubbed the back of his head. “Also, uh...I’m trying to find out more about...Anti.”

“Wh...” Marvin stared at him. He set the water bottle down on the nightstand next to him. “Why?”

“I don’t know, man, I’m ju—I’m tired of not doing anything,” Chase said. “I thought, hey, maybe if I can find something out, I can...I dunno, really. Just help a bit.” He sighed. “I mean, it’s not exactly easy.”

“Oh I can imagine,” Marvin mumbled, reaching up to scratch Ragamuffin’s ears.

“Yeah, he’s a criminal, you know? And a good one. We didn’t even know he existed until Dr. Laurens escaped and confirmed that he did.” Chase made a frustrated noise. “So I mean, looking up news sources is hard. I’ve been trying to find mysterious deaths in the area, going back a few years, but that’s still a lot. And like, he’s gotta have a base somewhere, right? Where he’s keepin—where he has supplies and shit. But how do you find that? God, how did Jackie do this? Seriously, how do you be a detective?”

“Well Jackie, like, went to school for this,” Marvin reasoned. “He knew—knows tricks. What do you mean by news sources? Like, online?”

“Yeah. Why, do you think I should go to the library? Check out old newspapers?”

“I mean...if you’re looking online, maybe he has a website.”

Chase stared at Marvin for a solid thirty seconds. “I’m sorry. A website? A website...for a guy who kills people?”

“They exist,” Marvin said casually. “You remember how I got almost killed back in March?”

“How could I forget that?” The whole story was still pretty unbelievable to him. Marvin had been working for a seemingly normal clothing shop, but because of suspicious activity, decided to look into it. And he’d soon found out that the shop was a front for some sort of smuggling operation, with firearms involved. Not long after that, he’d been attacked on his way home from work, and very nearly died. It hadn’t taken too much thought to realize the shady people behind the operation were behind the attack. “That’s the whole reason you left suddenly.”

“Yeah.” Marvin nodded a bit. “Well, I got curious. I was like, how exactly do you hire someone to kill someone else? So I took my old laptop that I left at my grandma’s house, because like, whatever, it probably should’ve been e-recycled a while ago, or whatever they do. So it didn’t matter what I searched up there, cause I was gonna get rid of it after. And I searched up stuff. And long story short, there is...totally an online market for stuff like that.”

“I...you’re serious?” Chase asked, gaping at him.

“I wouldn’t mess with you about this.”

“It just...seems unbelievable. If there were websites like this, couldn’t the police find them?”

“Sometimes they do.” Marvin’s eyes darkened. “But...there’s a whole...section of the Internet that...isn’t...good. It’s like...for that exact stuff. And if Anti was hired to kill me, he has to have some way for people to...to contact him for stuff like that. A website would be good for that.”

“Oh,” Chase said softly, looking away as he contemplated this new information. It made sense, really. It was more that he didn’t want to believe there was something like that out there. But he had to. So he took a deep breath. “You, uh...know how I’d go about finding something like that?”

Marvin nodded slowly. He gently pushed Ragamuffin away, who didn’t seem to mind and just rolled over, and then sat up. “Hand me that spiral book and one of the pencils from the desk,” he said, pointing. Chase did so, and he started writing down a few things. It took a while, since he would occasionally stop, think about something, and erase and rewrite, but eventually he tore the page out and showed it to Chase. “Here. These are some of the websites I remember, mostly because of the, uh...memorable URLs. Don’t—don’t use a computer you want to keep or have a bunch of information on.”

Chase took the page, scanning the URLs Marvin had written down. There were five of them, and...yeah, he could see why these stuck with him. “Are you gonna do some searching, too? It’d probably go faster with two of us.”

“No.” Marvin immediately shook his head. “I only have my laptop right now, and I really don’t want to compromise that with viruses or anything. That model was expensive, and it’s so much trouble to replace.”

“Oh. Yeah, good point.” Chase hesitated. “Do you...I mean, if you wanted to help me look for Anti, that would be...good. Too. In whatever way.”

Marvin hesitated. Chase could see the battle going on mentally, his usual fiery nature contrasting with the lack of energy he’d clearly been having lately. “I mean...I guess I’ll help you if you need anything,” he finally said after a while.

“That’d be great, bro. I can talk about it when I come over,” Chase said. God, he’d been doing so much visiting lately. Going everywhere, all over the place. It was...tiring. And that wasn’t even including the weekends when he had the kids over at his house. Another reason he hadn’t been able to find much on Anti was because he just didn’t have the time to do any thorough searching. But this website thing seemed easy. He could do it when he got home. “Anyway, keep drinking water. You, like, really need it. And you don’t really get it until you don’t have it.”

“Speaking from personal experience?” Marvin asked, raising an eyebrow.

Chase laughed. “Ah, you caught me. But seriously.”

“Alright, Chase, I understand.” Marvin picked up the water bottle again and started to sip.

——————

As it turned out, searching for illegal websites was not easy.

Chase had an old computer that he’d been keeping in his closet for ages, ever since he got a new, better one for playing and recording games. He dragged it out, booted it up, and set it through a factory restart, since Marvin had advised against having much personal information. From there, it was a bit of...a shot in the dark, really.

The search took a while. Chase was sure that looking at these websites was putting him on some sort of watchlist somewhere, and he couldn’t help but glance around the room every few minutes. Wasn’t there a video game like this, once? Jack had played it on his YouTube channel. Some game where you searched the messed-up dark side of the Internet. Yeah, that was the one where Jackie showed up in the second episode to help him with the puzzles and stuff. But that was just a game. This was real, and he was paranoid that someone would pop up in the window, staring at him.

By the time he found what he was looking for, it was well into the night, and Chase was positive that his browser had logged this worrying activity and possibly sent it to some agencies somewhere. But the search was a success. He’d clicked on a link reading ‘Antiseptic: For Taking Care of Infections.’ Harmless-sounding, if it hadn’t been on a website that listed several other websites, all somehow involving hiring someone to do shady shit for you.

The website from the link was, admittedly, pretty professional-looking. It could have been for a proper business. But it wasn’t. This was a website where you hired a hitman. And that hitman was Anti. Chase unconsciously leaned back from the screen as he clicked around the webpages. Something about rules, something about rates, something about reviews from customers (all anonymous, of course.) And an About page. Chase hesitated, then clicked on that.

The page that popped up had a bright red banner plastered across the top, reading: ‘IMPORTANT: I am not taking any new jobs for the time being. How long, you ask? Until further notice. Why, you ask? Something needs to be taken care of. Wait for your killing. Or go hire someone else.’ Blunt and to the point, while still being vague. Chase didn’t like the sound of ‘something needs to be taken care of.’ He had the strong suspicion that ‘something’ involved Jameson, and possibly Jackie.

He should tell the police about this website, right? It could be an important lead, not only in finding Jameson and Jackie, but in catching Anti altogether. Chase thought about it, and decided he would. But just in case, he’d keep the computer around and remember this URL. So he could search through this website on his own time.

It was late. He really should go to bed. Well, he might be too anxious to, after spending so much time looking at stuff like this, but he should try. But before he shut down the computer, he decided to check out the reviews section. What sort of reviews would a mercenary have?

He glanced at a couple of them, not wanting too many details, but suddenly stopped. The lowest rated review on the front page—god, killings had ratings, that was messed up—read: ‘Left a complimentary review in March when I thought he efficiently killed the target. But now, turns out the bitch is alive, and this bastard made me pay just for the CHANCE of going after him again. And he hasn’t even done it yet! Hurry up, you’—Chase winced at the word used—‘that Irish fucker could tell anyone by now!’

It was probably just a coincidence, but...the attack on Marvin’s life had happened back in March. And Marvin was Irish. And it had happened because some criminals thought he would tell...no, it was probably just a coincidence. It was a big world, after all.

Chase quickly wrote down the website’s URL and, just in case, the path he went through to get to it. He then closed the browser and shut down the computer. This was intriguing, but he’d have to look it over more later. He had to go tell the police about this the next day. It would have to be early in the morning. He had plans. More visiting to do.

——————

By now, Chase was pretty familiar with the visiting room at Silver Hills, as well as the visiting procedure. Enter, sign in who you were and who you were there to see, go wait in the visiting room, and after a while, the patient you were there to see would show up, along with a doctor in tow. Or, well, maybe the doctor was just for a few patients, to keep an eye on the ones who were somehow risky. Either way, the procedure hadn’t changed at all. He breezed right past it today, as always, and didn’t even have time to sit down before the other door in the room opened.

“Chase, my friend!” Schneep gave Chase a quick hug. “It is good to see you again so soon.”

“So soon? It’s been a week, like always.” Chase patted Schneep on the back before pulling away. “But it’s always nice to see you. You look good.”

“Ah, thank you.” Schneep smiled, a bit nervously, twisting his medical bracelet around his wrist.

“I’m serious, Doc.” And it was true; Schneep looked better than he had in a while. His skin had more color, and he’d gained a bit of weight. He was still pretty pale and thin, but it was a welcome, and noticeable, improvement. “Like, your hands aren’t shaking anymore.”

“Hmm?” Schneep looked down at his own hands, holding them still for a moment. “Oh yes. I hadn’t even noticed.”

“Well that’s good,” Chase said encouragingly. “I mean, it’s gotta mean that they’ve figured out, like, medication and stuff.”

“Yes, I think so,” Schneep said, glancing over to the corner of the room where Laurens was sitting, working on something on a clipboard. “Things have stopped changing.”

“Great.” Chase sat down on one of the couches, patting the cushion next to him so Schneep would sit down, which he did. “Anyway, you said last week they’d be moving you back to your first room. Have they done that yet?”

Schneep’s expression brightened. “Yes, they have! Chase, it is so much improved. Even just looking through the window at the ground—well, the window does not open, which I understand, but even just that is so much better. I do wish they would let me wear my own clothes again, but I think that is happening soon.”

“Well it should.” Chase folded his arms, eyeing the plain white shirt and pants Schneep was wearing. “I don’t even understand. Is it that much of a risk?”

“Ah...” Schneep reached up to rub his neck. “Well, not for everyone. You say you do not understand, but I do.”

“If you’re okay with it, then,” Chase said slowly. “Oh, by the way, I brought you something.” He shrugged his backpack off his shoulders, pulling it around to hold in his lap while Schneep watched quizzically. “Stacy and the kids were baking, and they decided to drop some off, and I-I thought, well, I don’t know if there are like sweets in the hospital cafeteria or something, so...” After a bit of rummaging, he pulled out a plastic ziploc bag with a pair of chocolate chip cookies inside. “Here.”

“Oh really?!” Schneep gasped, immediately taking the bag.

“Yeah, really.”

“Thank you!” He wasted no time in opening the bag and taking out one of the cookies, biting into it.

Chase laughed. “I was right, huh? No sweets in the cafeteria?”

Schneep swallowed so he wouldn’t answer with his mouth full. “Well, there are sometimes. I think there is a schedule, maybe for every other day, I do not know. I only started going into the cafeteria...well, I did at the start, but then there was an incident, and—anyway, the point is, I have not been...attending, is that the word? For long enough to learn a schedule. I have only been allowed in the cafeteria and the, ah, rec room recently.”

“Really?” Chase kept a positive note in his voice. “That’s good, right? People say you need a change of environment.”

“Yes.” Again, Schneep glanced over at Laurens. “I hear it is advised. Which is one of the reasons why that—that other doctor was not good at her job.”

“Boy, you are so salty,” Chase said. “But you know what? Go ahead. She was an asshole.”

Schneep laughed.

Chase smiled. “Go ahead and be saltier than those, uh, fucking salt flats in America, or whatever.”

“S-salt flats?” Schneep was laughing so hard that it devolved into coughing. He had to take deep breaths to calm down.

“Yeah, they like, test the speeds of cars out in this spot in the middle of nowhere because it’s so flat. And it’s, like, made of salt, I think.”

“Is that a fact?” Schneep asked, amused.

Chase pulled out his phone. “Well I’m about to check if it is.”

The rest of the visit flew by. They talked about nothing, which was a welcome change of pace. Briefly, Chase considered telling Schneep about Jameson’s disappearance, as he had for the past two visits. But, just like those previous times, he decided against it. It would probably just upset him. And he didn’t even really know who Jameson was, apart from that one time he freaked out after seeing him. And that encounter certainly didn’t leave a good impression. So they talked about little things. Music, and movies, and what was happening with Chase’s kids. Small talk, yes, but it was the only chance they got to have this small talk each week.

Eventually, the time was up. Chase said goodbye and good luck, which Schneep returned, and left, heading back towards the front desk so he could check out.

Shortly after signing out on the visitor’s sheet, he heard footsteps. Chase looked up to see Dr. Laurens had followed him out. “Hey,” she said.

“Hey.” Chase nodded in greeting. “Uh...everything okay?”

“Yes. Why, are you expecting it to not be?”

“I dunno, it’s just that usually when a doctor talks to you after you finished visiting someone, it’s usually with some sort of news.”

Laurens laughed. “No, it’s all fine. Schneep is doing really well, you know, making a lot of progress. Obviously, it really helps that, ah...the head doctor is no longer holding me so tightly to regulations.” She said it delicately. “So he can actually get the help he needs.”

“Yeah, a doctor with a revenge plot isn’t exactly helpful,” Chase commented. “He wasn’t even the right person for that plot in the first place,” he added, muttering.

“Well I-I guess if you want to be blunt about it,” Laurens said. Clearly, that had never been her style. “Anyway, yes, everything’s going great. I just wanted to ask, I was going through his files recently and I noticed you were down as an emergency contact. Are you still okay with that?”

“Yeah, sure. He doesn’t really have any family who’d respond,” Chase said. “Am I the only one?”

“No, your friend Marvin is there, too,” Laurens said. “We, um, tried to contact his wife—or, uh, separated wife—Mina. She hasn’t responded, so I just thought I’d confirm.”

“Really? Did you, like, call her or mail her or something?” Chase asked, intrigued. Mina had sort of been a distant figure for a while. And even before she and Schneep separated, he hadn’t been too familiar with her. A bit odd, really.

“Yes, Schneep gave us her number and mailing address,” Laurens confirmed. “I guess he could have misremembered it, or she could have changed those. But the point is, no response. So you and Marvin are the only contacts.”

“Got it.”

“Great.” Laurens paused. “Um...do you need anything? I-I understand your other friend woke up, Jack. You’ve got to be pretty busy.”

“Yeah, really.” She didn’t know the half of it. It was...actually really tiring. But he refused to let this stop him anymore. But...Chase considered something, then leaned closer, and quietly said, “Hey, uh, you’re a therapist. Do you know any, like...other therapists? Not here, like, more casual places. That you go visit.”

“Oh yeah! Hang on a second.” Laurens flipped through the pages of her clipboard, unclipping a blank sheet at the back. She took her pen out from behind her ear and wrote something down. “Here. This is the agency I worked for before here. Well...I mean I worked here before. But then I quit and worked there, and came back here—you get the picture.” She laughed awkwardly. “Anyway, there’s a website I’ve written down there. They have listings for different therapists, sorted by specialties and methods, and including, uh, short biographies so you can get to know them a bit before you actually make a booking. So you can know what you’re looking for.”

“Thanks.” Chase took the piece of paper and looked it over. “That was...more information than I thought, really.”

“Well I wasn’t about to just recommend someone,” Laurens said. “That’s for you—or, uh, anyone who’s therapist-shopping.”

That got a laugh out of Chase. “Alright. Anyway, thanks again.” He folded up the paper and put it in his pocket. “I’ll see you next week.”

“See you,” Laurens waved as Chase left.

Yes, next week. Assuming nothing went wrong and she had to contact him beforehand. But it probably wouldn’t.

——————

The recreation room of Silver Hills was a large, wide room on the second floor. Schneep hadn’t been in there much. Of course, for a long time Dr. Newson hadn’t allowed it, on the basis of it being dangerous. But even when he first checked in, he didn’t go down to this room that often. Maybe once, to see what it looked like. He hadn’t exactly been in the right mental space for recreation at the time. Too...well, he supposed ‘paranoid’ might be the right word. He didn’t want to get too attached to the space in case this whole thing turned out to be a trick.

But now, he thought he should give it a try. Maybe it would be helpful, to have more to do. He might be able to take his mind off things.

The room had a wall with windows overlooking the front of the hospital, and two doors on the walls to either side. Because of safety concerns, the entertainment was a bit limited. For example, some rec rooms might have a pool table. Not here. Some might have cabinets with board games. Not here. But there was still several playing card games, some pinball machines, and a TV with access to television channels and able to stream movies. There were three tables, each with a cluster of chairs, a couple sofas and armchairs near the TV, and paintings on the wall as decoration.

There were several people already in the room when Schneep peeked in. Mostly patients, with a few orderlies sitting around, identifiable by their uniforms. A group was sitting at one of the tables playing a card game, a couple were at a different table talking to each other and drawing with crayons—maybe a bit childish, but Laurens had stated that colored pencils weren’t allowed—and a few more were sitting around the TV, watching. A few of them had paused whatever they were doing to look over towards the door when it opened, and Schneep immediately froze.

“You okay?” Oliver, the usual orderly, was accompanying him to the room. They still hadn’t lightened up the rule about him being able to walk around on his own, though Laurens had said she was working on it. “Do you want to go back?”

“Nein, no no, I am fine,” Schneep muttered, stepping further into the room and looking around. He couldn’t help but notice he was the only one wearing the standard-issue white shirt and pants. Was that why some of them were staring at him? Or did they just like staring at people?

“Alright, just tell me if there’s anything wrong,” Oliver said, walking in behind him and keeping to the edges of the room, as he usually did.

Schneep nodded vaguely, glancing around to give everyone in the room a second look. Unfamiliar, all of them. There was one, part of the group playing cards, who was really staring at him, but everyone else had turned away, so that was probably her problem more than anything. Folding his arms—well, it wasn’t technically folding his arms, he just sort of grabbed each elbow with a hand—Schneep walked over to the seats by the TV and sat down in the nearest empty armchair. This was fine. That one other patient had stopped staring by now and looked back at the card game, which meant that nobody was looking at him. And that was good. Well, Oliver was there, keeping an eye on things. But nobody was watching him. Really. Nobody was. He didn’t see anyone looking. Everything was fine.

Okay, time to see if he could distract himself. What was on the TV? Schneep took a deep breath as he checked it out. It was definitely a movie of some kind, live-action, but not one that was familiar to him. It had that appearance of an older movie, something in the grain of the film or the delivery of the lines giving away that it was at least a couple decades old. Huh. That was...interesting.

“Hey.”

Schneep jumped, looking to the side. A man was looking at him. Sitting on one of the sofas, near the end closest to his own chair. “Ja? Um, yes?”

“Are you new here?” The man didn’t look too intimidating. Sandy blonde hair and freckles, wearing a blue t-shirt. He had a medical bracelet on his wrist, too.

“No, not at all,” Schneep said. “Why?”

“I just didn’t recognize you. I’ve been here a couple months, I think I recognize the usual crowd in the room. How long’ve you been?”

“Um...” Schneep paused for a second to do the math. It was now November, so that was...“A half a year.”

“Oh.” The man’s eyebrows shot upward.

“Yes, I, um, have not been in this room much. I was not—things were not...not good,” Schneep said awkwardly.

“Ohhhh.” The man nodded in understanding. “I see. I’m Finn, by the way.”

“Henrik.”

“Henrik? Are you—I mean, I don’t want to assume, but your accent, uh, are you German?”

“Yes.”

“Cool. Nice to meet you.”

“Thank you. The same.” This was starting to feel a bit awkward. Or maybe it was just him, Finn seemed perfectly comfortable. Schneep turned away, looking back at the TV. “What...is this?”

“The movie? Uh...I don’t know.” Finn shrugged. “I came in when it was already playing. I think Kellie chose it. But it’s, like, something about cars? And this family where the dad’s an inventor? I don’t know. It’s a musical.”

“Hm.” Schneep glanced around the room again. Was there anything else to do? The card game group was starting something new, one of them shuffling the deck. No, no. He didn’t want to interrupt. Maybe he could ask for some drawing supplies from the two who were coloring. Laurens did a drawing exercise with him once, and it had actually been kind of fun. Oh, wait, was there someone new here? There was something moving in the corner of his vision. It could just be in his head, but he turned to look anyway—

The moment he caught full sight of the movement, he cried out, jumping backwards and awkwardly falling out of the chair. He landed on his back, legs still up in the air, but quickly scrambled to his feet, looking back towards what he’d seen.

No. Nobody was there. But it was near one of the room’s doors, what if he left? What if he was—everyone was staring at him. They all were, they all had to be.

“Are you alright?” Finn asked, a concerned expression on his face.

“I-I-I—” Schneep backed up, once again assuming the folded arms position from before. “Don’t—look at me.”

“Oh, uh, sorry.” Finn looked away.

Schneep shuddered a bit, eyes fixed on the point where he saw—he couldn’t really have been there, it must have been in his head. It’s happened before. He’s seen him before...in his head. It. It was the same now. Had to be. Just. Just in his head. Not real.

But he couldn’t fully convince himself. Slowly, he backed up until he hit the nearest wall. Oliver, who’d been sitting nearby, stood up and walked over. “Do you need anything?” he asked quietly.

“I-I—am—will go back to safe—to my room,” Schneep stammered.

“Alright, let’s go then.” Oliver gestured to the door. Not the one that was close to...what he’d seen. Schneep nodded vaguely, and walked over to the door and out, with the orderly trailing behind him. Once they were out of the room, Oliver asked, “Anything else?”

Schneep took a deep breath in, then out. In, then out. It was a relaxation technique, and concentrating on that helped. Gave his brain something to do. “I...the hospital is—is very secure, yes? You cannot break in?”

“It’d be very difficult,” Oliver agreed. “You’d need a key card. And we do have security cameras. Someone would notice.”

“Good. Very good.” In. Out. In. Out. Laurens had reassured him many times before. Anti couldn’t get in here. So what he saw...it must have been...not real.

I’m real as ever, Henrik.

Schneep almost responded, but then firmly shut his mouth. It didn’t help to acknowledge the voices. It didn’t help to acknowledge any of them, even if he wanted to. Everything was going to be okay. This was a safe place. He didn’t have to worry about anything.

He kept reminding himself of these facts even hours after the incident. Anti couldn’t get in here. It wasn’t possible. This was a safe place. Everything was going to be okay.

——————

Well that was a failed test run.

Anti flipped the keycard between his fingers, watching it twirl through the air as he leaned back in his desk chair. He hadn’t been expecting to be spotted. They didn’t know what he looked like, and he had a small disguise, just in case. He thought that hiding his scars and darkening his hair would be enough to prevent him from being noticed. But apparently, he’d left quite an impression on the good doctor.

No one would believe him, of course. Judging by that psychiatrist’s notes, the one in the turquoise notebook, spotting Anti was a common hallucination of Schneep’s. No one would know that it was real, this time. But still. It was the principle.

Sitting up straight, Anti swiveled in his chair to face a computer monitor. The screen was divided into four sections, each showing a different angle of a single room with pale yellow walls and a pair of bunk beds. Maybe four cameras was overkill, but better safe than sorry. It looked like the two people in the room were having a conversation. He turned on the audio so he could listen in.

“—never had any siblings,” Jackie was saying, slowly swaying from side to side where he was sitting in one of the chairs. “Mom wasn’t very, uh—I-I was a miracle baby. Though sometimes I joke that I had a sister, but really it was me before I transitioned.”

So I’m the only one in the group, JJ signed. He was sitting in the other chair at the table, across from Jackie. Each of them had a plate in front of them with a sandwich and a bottle of juice.

“Yeah. Unless you count Chase’s sister-in-law, but eh. None of us do.” Jackie shrugged.

JJ laughed a bit, which soon faded. I should have asked about your family sooner, Jackie. Even before...all of this happened. I’m sorry.

“No, it’s fine,” Jackie reassured him. “I mean, family was probably a thing for you, right? Considering...this whole situation.”

Jameson nodded, looking a bit paler.

Watching the conversation, Anti frowned. That was hardly fair.

Anyway, I’d much rather talk about other people’s families, for obvious reasons, JJ continued. Like...for example, your friend Henrik. He doesn’t have any siblings either?

“No. And, uh, before you can ask about his parents...they’re assholes.” Jackie’s voice turned bitter. “They don’t live here, they’re back in Germany, and he’s very glad for that.”

Ah. Sorry for asking.

“No, it’s fine. Really.” Jackie frowned, and sat up straight. “You, uh...I-I don’t remember you apologizing as much before,” he said slowly. “Are you...okay?”

Jameson started to sign sorry, but then caught himself. He leaned over onto the table, briefly hiding his head in his arms before signing, I was working on that with my therapist. But now, it’s just all...He couldn’t even find the words and just threw his hands up in the air before hiding his head in his arms again.

Jackie leaned forward and placed his hand on Jameson’s arm. “It’s fine. We’re, uh...under a lot of stress. It makes sense that you’d, uh...things would happen again. It’s not wrong or anything. I think you’re doing great.”

Anti switched off the audio and looked away. Nothing was wrong with apologizing. It certainly wasn’t something you needed to talk to a therapist about. In fact, why did Jameson even need a therapist? He was fine.

Well...no, he wasn’t. Because he was different. Anti had backed off for a bit, giving him space to adjust, and then started talking with him again. Not for very long, but he’d come into the room, Jackie would back off and stay quiet, and he’d talk to Jameson. The goal was to regain trust, but it just wasn’t working. Jameson was anywhere from unresponsive to aggressive towards him. He didn’t get it. Yes, the initial approach wasn’t good, he’ll admit that. But what else was he supposed to do? He was trying to make up for it. The room was starting to get a bit crowded with all the things he’d given him. Books, a music player, even a beanbag chair. Anything he wanted.

Well, almost anything. He couldn’t give him everything right away, otherwise there would be nothing left for good behavior.

Anti sighed. And once again, he twirled the keycard through his fingers. And it gave him an idea. What if...one of those rewards...yes, that might work.

That might work indeed.

Anti slowly grinned, and opened up his calendar to figure out when would be the best time to enact the plan that was forming in his mind.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #jacksepticeye au #septic egos #septic egos au #chase brody #marvin the magnificent #dr schneeplestein #jackieboy man #jameson jackson #antisepticeye #brigid writes fanfiction #pwtimeline

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inkribbon796 · 3 years ago

Text

Egotober 2021 Ch. 13: I’m Supposed to Be on Vacation, Mate

Summary: Philza is supposed to be in retirement, recent events and reputation notwithstanding.

Prompt: Relax

Characters: Michael McChill, Philza, and Mad

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

Philza was a simple man, he really was. He liked collecting powerful magical weapons, bothering the rest of the Server and just kicking back. A book in his hands.

300+ years was a long time, perhaps a moderate amount of time for a demon, but absolutely a long time for a human. Philza had helped build monuments to gods and men. He had waged wars, some for his own sake and many for others. The avian had even settled down a couple times to raise a fledgling or two.

Point was, Phil had done a lot and been a lot of things. He didn’t think some “me time” was too much of a request.

Everyone else, however, took any physical sighting of him as some plan on his part so what started as him sunbathing on one of Brighton’s many beaches turned into more than a bit of a hassle.

“Pssst, hey Phil,” Michael whispered, he was one of Dream’s close Server associates, had tried to creep up close to him. “What’s the plan?”

“The plan is for you get the fuck outta[1] my Sun,” Philza told him. “I’m sunbathin’[2].”

“It’s October,” Michael reminded, sweeping his dark hair out of his eyes.

Phil lowered his sunglasses, “And?”

Michael shrugged, and stepped out of the way.

The avian demon turned and looked over, “Hey, shitebag! I can hear yeh breathin’.”[3]

Mad came out of hiding, being able to stay safe in the city thanks to the heroes was making him a bit braver, even when he wasn’t hanging around Mare. He was admittedly taking too many chances, but Phil wasn’t in too charitable of a mood to teach the young demon a lesson for his own good.

He’d leave that to Dark or Anti or probably Dream. Philza was supposed to be relaxing.

“It doesn’t look like you’re doing anything interesting, I’ll go,” Mad decided, jabbing his thumb behind him.

“Nah,” Phil told him, lowering his sunglasses back down. “Take a seat, in front ‘a me, though, just ‘cause yeh can’t kill me doesn’t mean I trust yeh.”[4]

Mad rolled his eyes and walked around, looking at the beach. He stayed standing. “It’s almost sunset.”

“Yeah? And?” Phil repeated. “I didn’t live fer[5] 300-plus years to burn through my hosts with skin cancer. I’m just gettin’[6] some Vitamin D, or whate’er[7].”

“Where’d you get that thing, by the way?” Mad commented. “Is it still alive?”

“Nah, got it from some prison morgue, I ne’er take somethin’ that’s gonna be missed,”[8] Phil shrugged.

“That thing is from a prison?” Mad commented.

“Well yeah,” Phil commented. “It’s harder to take ‘em from a battlefield these days and I don’t want somethin’ that has ta be retrained how ta fight. It’s annoyin’ and I hate it.”[9]

“Okay, that makes sense,” Mad agreed. “You have a laundry list of features you like?”

“Nah,” Phil corrected, turning back to his book. “I’m not picky, I just need some blue eyed, blond haired fucker. That’s it.”

“You’ve just been doing that for 300 years?” Michael asked.

“More or less, I’ve taken captains ‘a[10] the guard, knights, highwaymen,” Phil admitted. “I like this one I’ve found, but I give it another five years before I have ta find a new one. Look, while I’ve got you two, try to enjoy yer time. You’re not human, you’ve got a long time ta do what you want to in life. So have some fun, go out to the middle ‘a nowhere and just chill out fer twenty years. Seen a lotta demons die from wantin’ ta get too big too fast.”[11]

“So this is like a retirement plan for you?” Michael asked.

“Mate, I just wanna[12] relax,” Phil sighed. “Last couple ‘a years have been a bit much and I just wanna fuckin’ kick back ‘fore I start my next project.”[13]

“What’s that going to be?” Michael asked.

“This city lacks a good altar ta[14] Death,” Phil smiled. “Gotta[15] make a lady feel invited.”

“Death? Didn’t take you for the blood sacrifice type.” Mad was just staring at him.

“Nahhh,” Phil smiled. “It’s been a while since she’s seen the boys, but I gotta[15] make sure she doesn’t start a fight with some ‘a[10] the boys around here. And that she’s got a nice place ta14] stay while she’s in town.”

“I gotta[15] go,” Mad decided.

“Have fun, kid,” Phil said. “Gotta[15] enjoy the Sun while I can.”

Mad left and Michael hung out with Philza for a bit before the both of them went back to the Server.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. out of

2. sunbathing

3. Hey, shitbag! I can hear you breathing.

4. Take a seat, in front of me, though, just because you can’t kill me doesn’t mean I trust you two.

5. for

6. getting

7. whatever

8. Nah, got it from some prison morgue, I never take something that’s going to be missed

9. It’s harder to take them from a battlefield these days and I don’t want something that has to be retrained how to fight. It’s annoying and I hate it.

10. of

11. I like this one I’ve found, but I give it another five years before I have to find a new one. Look, while I’ve got you two, try to enjoy your time. You’re not human, you’ve got a long time to do what you want in life. So have some fun, go out to the middle of nowhere and just chill out for twenty years. Seen a lot of demons die from wanting to get too big too fast.

12. want to

13. Last couple of years have been a bit much and I just want to fucking kick back before I start my next project.

14. to

15. Have to

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #egotober2021 #footnotes #Philza #Michael McChill #Madpat #Philza's just trying to enjoy his day off

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hallowxiu · 4 years ago

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Stolen Thunder

Pairing: Belphegor x gn!mc

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: You try your luck with Belphie this time. Turns out, he’s more prepared for pick up lines than you are. AKA the time where Belphegor steals your thunder.

Part 3 of the MC isn’t good at pick up lines series

part one | part two

“You might be the unluckiest person alive.”

“I feel like I’m the unluckiest person in all of existence.” You’re lying in a pile of pillows and blankets, feeling especially tired after the day’s events. Naturally, whenever you felt exhausted, you’d always find yourself going to the youngest of the brothers, Belphegor. He’s snuggled up beside you, his fingers running through your hair as the two of you enjoy each other’s company. “I mean, who the hell gets stuck with two lectures on the same day? And the fact that the lectures were from Lucifer and Satan only makes me that more unlucky.”

“I can’t argue that.” Belphie mumbles under his breath as he lazily gazes at you. “I don’t even think Mammon’s managed to do that yet.”

“Like I said, unluckiest person in all of existence.” You sleepily gesture to yourself before moving closer to the sleepy demon.

“And how did this happen?”

“I tried using pick up lines on them. Not to say that it was completely their fault, but the pick up lines went right over their heads.” Your head’s resting comfortably on possibly the fluffiest pillow you’ve ever felt as you watch his expression morph from confusion to humor. “Mammon managed to convince me that my idea was a good one. We even went as far as talking through walkie-talkies for Satan’s.”

“I expected more from you.” He brings a hand up to lightly flick at your forehead. “You shouldn’t believe anything Mammon says, especially if he says something is a good idea.”

“Well,” a sheepish smile forms on your lips, “I kind of forced him to help in the first place.” You can hear the sigh leave Belphie. “I really just wanted an excuse to use one on Lucifer since he claims he doesn’t like pick up lines and that they don’t work on him.”

“They don’t though.”

“I’m beginning to believe it’s because he’s too dense to understand they’re pick up lines.”

“I hope for your sake that he never hears you say that.”

“He’s everywhere, so he probably did.”

“He definitely did, given your luck.” He winks at you playfully before a rather loud yawn leaves him abruptly. “Well, do you plan on using anymore pick up lines? Knowing you and Mammon, I doubt you both decided to call it quits after Satan.” You sigh at his question, repositioning yourself so that you’re lying on your back. You didn’t want to admit it, but you’ve been thinking about it. Even though you hadn’t had a single win yet, it was fun using obnoxious pick up lines on your friends, but to use more on Lucifer or even Satan? It seems like too much of a gamble, especially if they aren’t receptive to them in the first place. Maybe you’ll just have to put your sights on someone else instead.

“I don’t know.” You finally admit. “I think both of them would become suspicious if I tried using another pick up line so soon.”

“Well,” the sleep deprived demon breathes out, now lying on his back as well, “why don’t you try one on me? I won’t lecture you like Lucifer or Satan, and chances are, if it’s that bad I’ll just fall asleep out of humiliation.” Your eyes narrow briefly, but it isn’t a bad deal. If anything, you could use this chance to develop better pick up lines and… you’d be able to use a pick up line on Belphie. A grin spreads across your lips at the idea of possibly flustering the boy.

“Alright, but are you prepared to be swept off your feet?”

“I doubt you’ll manage that, but for the sake of progressing things I’ll say that I am.” Before you can even think of a line to use on him, the demon raises a hand as he quickly sits up.

“I have a better idea,” there’s a devious smile on his lips that you both love and hate, “if you’re willing to hear me out.”

“I’m always willing to hear you out.” You respond a little too fast.

“I’ll bet you dinner duty that I’ll outperform you with pick up lines.” You squint and look at him suspiciously. “Meaning, if I have better pick up lines than you, you have to do my dinner duty, and if you miraculously have better lines than me, I’ll do your dinner duty.” Ever the naive person you were, this did seem tempting to you. “I’ll even let you go first. You can throw as many pick up lines at me as you want, and then when you’re finished I’ll use mine.” Shit. That definitely means he has more than one pick up line in his head while you only had… half of one. You inwardly sigh. You didn’t have to agree to his bet, you could just walk away and never think about it again. Yet…

“Deal.” You’re a little too prideful to back down from a bet so easily. With the bet now on, Belphie shakes your hand before leaning back into his pillows. He stares at you expectantly and you feel yourself break out into a cold sweat. Right, you’re supposed to go first. “Uh…” Your eyebrows pull together as your brain wracks itself for anything. “Do you remember me? We’ve met in your dreams.” You end the line with a cheesy wink, and both you and Belphie cringe as a result.

“Lame.” Is all he responds with.

“Yeah, I know.” You huff as you flop back onto the pillows. You find yourself trying to think of anything else to add. You didn’t want to lose the bet with only one pick up line, that would just be sad. “I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.” Another wink, and this time you get a snort from Belphie. You’ll take what you can get.

“Is that all you can do?”

“I didn’t think I needed to have a list of pick up lines to use on you when I came up here for my nightly cuddling session.” You try to defend yourself, but you know it’s fruitless. You could only hope now that Belphie’s were just as bad.

“Well then,” another yawn escapes him as his eyes close. Just when you think he’s fallen asleep, you see a small cat-like smile form on his lips. “Do you like bumpy rides?”

You stare quizzically at him. “What? Why?” You thought he was supposed to be giving you pick up lines, not questions about rides. You begin to ponder if he’s actually talking in his sleep when he speaks back up.

“Don’t interrupt me.” He startles you, sitting up in a flash and flicking you in the forehead before once again lying down, all the while without opening his eyes. “You’ve ruined it; now I have to ask it again, otherwise it just wouldn’t make any sense.” He opens his eyes just to send you a disapproving look before closing them once you apologize. “Do you like bumpy rides? Because I’m an emotional rollercoaster, baby.” He sounds proud of that one, you duly note. You feel your eyebrow twitch before a laugh bubbles up from the back of your throat. Okay, you’ll admit that’s a good one.

“Want to find treasure? Come and explore my chest.” He doesn’t add anything more and you’re left looking over at him in confusion. “With a knife.” He mutters under his breath.

“Belphie, these are slightly concerning.”

“I’d love to go to Uranus.” He continues without paying you any attention. “Why? Because it doesn’t have a breathable atmosphere.”

“Are you crying out for help right now? Is that what this is?”

“Want to give me the D? The D is for Death. Please, euthanize me.”

“Ah, Belphie, wait--” You’re actually growing concerned.

“Wanna Netflix and kill? Me? Please release me from the prison sentence that is my existence.”

“Belphie!” You lean forward and whack his chest. “What is wrong with you?”

“What do you mean?” He asks with a slight frown on his lips, though his eyes are still closed. “Are you not wooed by my pick up lines? I thought the younger generations liked those kinds of things.” You pinch the bridge of your nose as you stare up at the ceiling.

“Belphie, I don’t know if asking someone to end your existence is a pick up line.”

“Well, it should be.”

“Are you seriously suggesting that would work on you?”

“Are you seriously suggesting that wouldn’t work on you?”

You blink several times as you stare at Belphie before sighing softly. “I don’t think either of us won; you can’t actually count those as pick up lines.”

“What?” There’s an offended tone to his voice as he sits back up, eyes wide open now. “They were loads better than yours! And I actually had several ready, whereas you only had two! I totally won! In fact, I’d even be as nice as to lend them to you if you wanted to use them on Lucifer.”

“Why the hell would I use them on Lucifer?” You ask bewildered.

“You can’t tell me he wouldn’t like something like that. Lucifer and I are both equally dead on the inside. I bet Satan would like them as well.” You sigh as you listen to Belphie’s reasoning. You wouldn’t be getting out of this bet so easily. With a grunt you turn on your side to face the youngest brother.

“When’s your cooking duty?”

A grin’s back on his lips as he also adjusts himself to face you. “Tomorrow night.” Another sigh leaves you. Looks like you had plans tomorrow night.

#shall we date obey me #shall we date one shot #belphie #belphegor x mc #belphegor #belphie x mc #belphie one shot #belphegor one shot #shall we date imagine #obey me one shot #obey me imagine #belphie imagine #belphegor imagine #belphegor x reader #drabbles #drabble #imagine #pick up lines #it's 8:30 in the morning and i haven't slept since yesterday so idek if i'm spelling anything right lol

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flirting-with-psychology · 4 years ago

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[zombiebandido]

Can you recommend any Neil Gaiman to me, aside from Stardust or Good Omens? I cannot

What’s the best concert you’ve been to, if you’ve been? Idk, I think I’m just not huge on concerts

What’s the funniest screenname you’ve ever seen? i-run-with-scissors-to-feel-dangerous

Is there an animal you like that most people don’t? Don’t think so

Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it’s liked? Goats or cows, maybe

Is there a time period you think is underrated? Not really

What about music? Showtunes

Do you find yourself listening to music that’s a bit more esoteric? No

What are your three favorite books and why? Harry Potter because of the worldbuilding, Mistborn because of the worldbuilding and characters, A Confusion of Princes because it is a fun standalone book

What about authors? Idk, I mostly like specific books Do you have any likes you wouldn’t tell someone until you got to know them? Nah probably not

Do you have a favorite language? Not really

What about a place you’ve always wanted to visit? Ireland

What’s something someone does or says that just makes you laugh? Idk, it’s usually situational

Do goldfish crackers ever make you sick, or is that just me? No?

Do you have a favorite art style? Probably realistic

Do you have a favorite myth/fairy-tale? No, sorry I’m being boring with this quiz

Who is your favorite person aside from family? Probably my bff

Do any of your pets (if you have them) have weird quirks? My cat was just very emphatic

Do you listen to music from anywhere besides America? Not really

Have you ever “quit” a site and came back to it more than once? No

Do you have an “odd” fascination with anything? Dice

What is the thing you want most at this moment? An interesting job and a return to normal from the pandemic

What was the last book you read and what was it about? I’m currently reading The Martian about an astronaut stranded on mars

What was the worst book you’ve ever read & why? Walk Two Moons because the twist ending fucked me up

Do you have a favorite breed of dog or cat? Which? Golden retrievers

If you like any anime/manga, what are some titles you recommend? I don’t really like it

What do you think about school in general? I thought it was interesting and I wish I could go back

What’s the hardest thing you’ve been through, & what did you learn from it? Maybe the braces. Dk what I learned from it

What are three “unrealistic” things you want most? An interesting creative job with steady and high pay lol, the lottery, the good place experience from The Good Place

What are some of your favorite foods? Pasta, chocolate, cereal. I am a simple girl

Where do you like to buy your clothes? Kohl’s, Macy’s, and thrift shops

Do you take any daily vitamins? When I remember

Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? Kelsier from Mistborn, Sirius Black from Harry Potter, Raydan Lykel from The Crown and the Flame

If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Idfk

When buying Slurpees, if you do, do you get only one flavor or mix them? Mixing is fun

Do you have a favorite 7Eleven food? No

Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? Not strongly

If you could have any career, “realistic”-ness aside, what would it be? Something in film maybe

What are three memorable movies from your childhood? The Little Mermaid, Harry Potter, Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper

Do you, personally, put a space after ellipses, or not? Let me check... do I? I guess I do

What do some of the things that inspire you have in common? Making things

Micky D’s sweet tea, y/n/other? No

What are three of your best (non-physical) qualities? Creativity, honesty, smarts

What are three of your worst (again; non-physical) qualities? Stubbornness, anxiety, lack of empathy

What is one of your firmest beliefs? I don’t really have firm beliefs

Do you ever question things until you’re unsure of even the silliest thing? Yes

Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you’d truly enjoy? Anxiety and procrastination, and money

What are your three biggest pet peeves (personality-wise) in others? Holier-than-thou people, acting like you’re too cool for fun, being unsafe

Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I admit to most of them but I’m not so great at working on them

What are three of your best physical qualities? (NOT EYES!) Why not eyes? Other than that, I guess hair color, boobs, singing voice (at least I’d like to think so)

What are some of your greatest aspirations? Do something fun, have a good social life, see what I would look like in my prime

How do you hope the world will change, if at all? Get done with the pandemic, stop having capitalism be so shitty

Who are three (fairly known) people you find very intriguing? Taylor Swift, Voldemort, F. Scott Fitzgerald

What are three things that make you the happiest? hanging out with friends, crafts, cuddling with my boyfriend

What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? I don’t believe in them

Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? YES

Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? No, I am just not that into video games

What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? Macbook Pro

What are you good at? Crafts and school

What career do you hope to have? Something creative

Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I’m finished with school but I wish I could go back

If you don’t attend, are you taking any “lessons” for anything? No

A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? Harry Potter

If you know of pandora.com, what is your favorite station? I haven’t listened to pandora in ages

Have you ever “lost” a friend in any way? How did you deal? Some just faded away but some actively ditched me and I tried to find out why

Any music recommendations? Showtunes

What are at least three of your biggest fears? Spiders, living a mundane life, covid right now

Most recently read book that you liked? A Confusion of Princes

Do you have a piece of jewelry you don’t like to take off? No, I have so many that I like to alternate them

Do you have a favorite quote? Why is it your favorite? Carpe Diem. Haven’t lived it much lately though Any odd pastimes you have? Making lists and charts

Are you quirky in any way? (Name them please). My fashion sense especially in high school, the nerdy things I do

Have any practices you aren’t opposed to but wouldn’t do yourself? Probably a lot, I’m generally of the live and let live mindset

Political standing?

Left

Do you have any piercings/what do you think about piercings? I just have my ears pierced

Do you have a favorite material? I’m a fan of soft materials like suede or velvet, also metals like copper and silver

What are three names you’d name a pet if you HAD to get a pet right now? It depends on the pet

Do you like to listen to dorky/amusing music? Idk

Coffee vs. Tea vs. Energy Drinks: Order from favorite to least favorite. Tea, energy drinks, coffee

Do you like more “fruity” sweets or “savory” sweets? Fruity unless it’s chocolate

What do you hate the most? Spiders

What genres of music are your favorite? Showtunes

Do you believe in true love? Idk

Do you believe in love at first sight? If yes, why? No

What are some of your favorite clothing accessories? Jewelry

If reincarnation exists, what sort of person would you want to be next?

One of those outgoing guys that always has adventures with his friends What are some things you believe strongly in? Idk

Where’s your favorite place you’ve been? London was pretty cool, also Italy

What sort of books and movies do you like? For books: sci-fi, fantasy, dystopia. For movies: rom-com, sci-fi, musical

What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy Saturday? Idk, just stay in

Is there a book you’ve read that really touched you? The Great Gatsby just because I related to Gatsby a lot

Do you have a favorite artist? Taylor Swift

PC or MAC? Mac

What do you love doing? Crafts, shopping, board games

If you could create the perfect world for yourself, what would it be? Basically just the good place from The Good Place. Unlimited time and resources to learn and try things without pressure to make money off it

Do you think that fate plays a part in people’s lives? Not really

Are you religious, spiritual, atheist…? Atheist

What are your opinions on the media? The media is a very broad range of things

Do you think that people throw the words “love” and “hate” around too much? Idk

What is your favorite piece of technology that you own? My laptop

What’s a piece of technology you’d like to own? I have what I want at the moment.

Are you afraid of technology developing to where we’re too reliant on it? A little bit of getting to the point where a lot of jobs get replaced with AI, because instead of making lives easier like they could be, there will just be a huge unempolyment problem that our stupid capitalist society won’t solve

Does it bother you when people do things to fit in with a certain crowd? If it’s not what they want to do

Hot or cold? Cold Do you think that Bzoink should extent the character amount for questions? I don’t use Bzoink

Do you have a favorite combination of complimentary colors? Maybe green and pink

Do you know why all the young people who have nice cars always look grumpy? I don’t think I’ve noticed that

What’s your favorite odd ice cream flavor? Lemon Sorbet or Coffee Toffee Bar Crunch

Where do you like to get your ice cream? Haagen Dasz or Ben and Jerry’s

What’s your opinion on stereotypes/labels? Idk

Do you ever use random word generators for Bzoinkoids?

What?

Do you believe that history repeats itself? It sure seems like it is

Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Learn from them

What was the most interesting class you had in school? My words and music class in college Do you write? If so, what? I used to write poetry, I sometimes come up with stories but I don’t really write them

Do you have a favorite website? Tumblr and Etsy

Do you think that the quality of TV shows is going down? No, there are usually good ones to discover

Do you have a favorite culture? Maybe Celtic. I just like the art patterns What was a story you heard as a child that really affected you? The Headless Horseman scared me a lot

Who was your favorite grade-school teacher and why? My third grade teacher and my 6th grade math teacher

Do you think that the world will end? How? Probably in a few billion years when the sun turns into a red giant

Do you believe in Global Warming? Have you researched it? Yes but I haven’t researched it

Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? Tattoos

Do you remember your dreams? Sometimes

#survey

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years ago

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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.70

Keith gave up trying to keep up. First Lance up. Then he was down. Then he was getting angry and upset on Keith’s behalf. Then he was pacing. And now he was crying again as they sat in Lance’s Bronco. They hadn’t even left the VOLTRON staff parking area before Lance was apologising about “his ego” and “wanting to punch people in the dick”. He’s thought taking his boyfriend for a walk would calm him down enough that he’d realise he needed to take things easy. But no. He hadn’t even gotten that far. Sitting in Lance’s car, Keith had his arms full of his crying boyfriend. Lance hadn’t had enough blood as far as Keith was concerned, now that he stopped to think about it. Keith’s blood during his heat had made his boyfriend super horny, and a bit egotistical, which Lance wasn’t right now. Now he stopped to think about it, he was sure he was right when he’d been worried Lance was pushing himself. All Lance’s “extraness” was coming from him being determined to find something before Krolia and the werewolves arrived. He was hyped up on emotion, not blood. What he needed was to rest, not go investigating crime scenes.

Keith wasn’t great at admitting he wasn’t good at resting when he needed to. He felt like resting would only cost people their lives. He had to work harder and be better. He had to be there all the time and be hands on. Being with Lance showed him how much pressure that had been on his shoulders. He wasn’t saying Lance couldn’t shoulder helping, he was saying he couldn’t shoulder helping on the back of yesterday and him being overly emotional that morning. He’d made the mistake he’d nearly made the day before. He’d let Lance rush, when he wasn’t ready to. He should have pulled Lance into his lap instead of letting him pace. He should have pulled Lance out of his head instead of sitting there between Shiro and Curtis.

“Babe. I’m going to say something and I don’t want you to get mad”

Lance sniffled

“Okay?”

“I think you’re still emotionally exhausted”

“I’m okay...”

They’d spent so much one together Lance was sounding like him

“You’re not... and I think I worked it out. I think the blood was okay, but you’re not”

“I’m fine... I had too much blood”

“You didn’t though. I think maybe... you did a me. Said you were, then tried too hard to be”

Lance shook his head

“I’m okay... I’m okay”

“I think you ego wants to protect me... I think you maybe feel that you want to solve this really badly because you don’t want them to have anything against us when they get here”

Lance sniffled, bringing a hand up to rub at his face

“Is that what I’m doing?”

“I think so”

As they say “Take’s one to know one”. One of Pidge’s favourite lines when Matt accused her of cheating

“Sometimes I get too focused... I’ve seen Coran for it before. I think maybe... maybe I was looking for something I could throw myself into... especially if I could be some help to you”

“A wise man once told me I can’t be a superhero”

“I feel like a super zero. It’s hard when you can’t forget things”

“You’re not a “SuperZero”. Do you regret not taking that pill?”

Lance shook his head

“I believe you. That’s what Rieva was talking to me about. I didn’t think about how it’d be to be a werewolf in heat and deal afterwards with not falling pregnant. It kind of makes me feel lame for worrying over a broken condom”

That subject was still tender, he wasn’t ready for prodding there

“Does that make me the same for still trying to process it?”

Lance shook his head again

“No. No. No, it doesn’t”

“Then your not lame either. We’ve blown off two briefings now. Do we call it a day?”

“Can we go for a drive instead? Get out of this place and breathe?”

Keith could drive. He’d done enough talking. Taking his bike would have really gotten his mind off things, but Kosmo was too wiggly for a bike ride

“You’ll have to give me directions”

“I can do that”

Lance leaned in and kissed him. Keith happy to kiss him back. One near miss wasn’t going to get between them.

Lance directed Keith to the park where the bodies were found without thinking about it. It was a nice place. Plenty of grass and open space. Not the kind of space you’d expect to see two dead bodies, not with all the people there today. Kids played in the playground, parents sipping coffees as they played on their phones instead of watching their kids

“Babe, what are we doing here?”

“I guess I was thinking about this place. I didn’t mean to end up here”

Keith sighed at him. Lance didn’t blame him. They agreed he was trying to overcompensate for the lack of control in his life and his perceived uselessness. Though Lance couldn’t help it. Every time he thought of Keith being bullied by those wanker wolves, he got mad. Keith was mad too, but he’d let himself feel like he wasn’t worth people’s love or time. Lance loathed it. They’d spent so long talking, learning, and growing together, that sometimes they didn’t know how to follow through after letting themselves be vulnerable. Focusing on the reports meant helping Keith and moving forward. Focusing on reports meant he might be able to help Keith when the crucial time came, or at least show him he really did have his back, despite how much of unlikely pair they made.

Staring across the park through the windshield, Keith sighed as he turned to look at him

“We were supposed to be taking a moment”

“I know. I can’t help it. I miss Garrison, and the open air. Besides, it’s not like the park itself is bad. I don’t see a gaggle of lurking vampires or a scurry of werewolves. We can take Kosmo for a walk and he can do his doggy business. I’ve got plastic bags in the back. And I’ve got my jacket on, so it won’t be too bad out there”

“Babe. It’s not the weather I’m worried about. Krolia is full on. James has no time for anyone he thinks under him. We can’t walk out of briefings with them”

“I know... I mean, I don’t know. I guess I’m assuming. The park was on my mind, but I wasn’t thinking of coming here to work. I just needed air. We won’t even poke around, because that’s not what we’re here to do. Look at the grass. Look how uniform it is. I wonder what kind of lawnmower they use”

Keith raised an eyebrow

“Did you just... Your old man is showing. No one cares about how smooth the grass is”

“I do... my poor garden’s probably half bloody dead. The damn dandelions are probably having a picnic knowing I’m not there to rip the little bastards out”

“I still don’t think I understand what made you come back so fast”

“Rieva did. Honerva’s gone mad. Human experiments. Blood lust. Maids and tourists that go missing. Dead werewolves and vamps. Honerva’s barely... she’s not sane and she’s fae. Lotor’s her son. If he’s here, she’s sent people to retrieve him. People like Sendak. People like Sendak don’t have morals. That’s what Rieva is scared of. Killing us would be like swatting a fly. Lotor painted targets on all of us by showing up. Take into fact that you and Shiro are hunters and you’ll be drugged and off to Europe to be pets between bouts of experimentation. That’s the general gist. They’ve got so much power that they don’t care about the Blades or VOLTRON. They’d easily crush both groups without thinking about it. Between you and me, I think maybe they had something to do with Rieva’s parents being killed. She knows a lot about European wolf culture and even the big bad wolves there avoid Zarkon and Honerva’s territories”

Keith leaned back to rest against the seat

“They don’t teach us about them. They teach us history to a certain point, but it’s not until we’re heading out that we get a full briefing. It’s supposed to be in case someone turns traitor or something like that. Maybe I was too low on the totem pole to know? Krolia would know”

“Yeah, well, we’ve got Rieva. She was raised by werewolves. We’ve got Matt who can hack just as good as Pidge. Coran can use his fae magic to subdue wolves. And you’ve got me...”

Keith reached out, tucking a strand of stray hair back behind Lance’s ear

“Babe, you’re getting worked up again”

Lance couldn’t help it. What good were the Blades if they didn’t share intelligence on targets? No. Fuck. He was stressing Keith out. Keith had been brave opening up to him. He’d wanted to act as normal as possible to show Keith that what he’d told him didn’t change how he felt for him.

“I’m sorry. Maybe you should find another stick, and smack me with it when I’m doing it again?”

“I didn’t know you were into spanking”

Keith gave him a crooked smile, acting like he wasn’t being a tease. Keith could spank him and he’d probably beg for more

“Maybe? Maybe not? Maybe I just wanna be smacked like a piñata? Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out after we’ve taken a walk and taken in the sun. It’s good a source of Vitamin D-grump”

“I’m not grumpy”

“You’re not happy either”

“I’m getting there. I don’t want you pushing it on your walk. You need rest”

Just like that, Keith had him thinking about the broken condom again. This was why he shouldn’t be resting. He could wallow in his room, but he’d rather wallow on his sofa with his wine. He might as well be a wheel of Swiss cheese for all the whining he’d been doing... But if he was Swiss Cheese, he might earn himself a bit of God’s love with how holey he’d be

“I’ll tell you if a need a break. And you’ll tell me if you need one. I can’t wait until Kosmo is big enough to teach him how to play fetch”

Kosmo was trying to eat Lance’s shoes because they were taking so long

“Okay. Let’s head out”

Keith wished he’d had more than his phone camera as Lance played with Kosmo. His boyfriend would jog a few steps ahead and Kosmo would go bounding along after him. There were other people in the park, Keith kind of wishing he’d thought to arm himself before they went out, but it was a much needed moment of normality. Lance laughing and scooping up Kosmo when he chased him. He didn’t feel like a hunter, other than the fact he couldn’t stop scanning the park every so often for potential threats. He felt like he’d felt back in Garrison with Lance. He’d had so much time there to think and be with Lance. Now they were here as two boyfriends taking their fur son for a walk with the sun sitting low in the horizon.

Keith’s idea of Lance taking it slowly wasn’t having his boyfriend jogging, but Lance was so happy with Kosmo and had promised to take it easy. Jogging was probably as much exercise as a brisk walk for a vampire, plus being behind Lance and Kosmo meant he was able to take lots of photos of the pair of them

“Keith, look how cute he is”

Kosmo was nipping at Lance’s fingers, Lance having stopped meant he caught up to both of them

“He is. He is the precious fur son”

“Having a dog is great. But don’t tell Blue I said that. We should bring her. She’s really good on a lead”

Reaching out, Keith ruffled Lance’s hair

“Yeah. We’ll have to head back soon, we shouldn’t be here after sunset”

“Awww, but look at his face. 10. No. 15 more minutes. Please”

Lance raised Kosmo up, pulling “puppy dog eyes” and a pout as he did. Keith was weak

“15 minutes. That goes for both of you”

“Yay! We should totally take some photos too”

Keith drew his brow

“Haven’t you noticed I have been?”

“But they’re all of me and Kosmo. Not me, you, and Kosmo. I won’t forget today, but they’re precious memories for you too”

Keith was a push over as he set a timer on his phone. The next 15 minutes spent taking selfies with Lance and Kosmo. He wasn’t terribly photogenic, and didn’t like the way he looked in most of them, but He couldn’t erase them. Not with the way Lance was looking at him in them. He was looking at Keith like Keith was the only person in existence... and it felt good. He’d lived to survive, now it felt like maybe he was living and not just alive. Lance kissed his cheek, Keith blushed as he hit the button on his phone, just before the timer went off

“I guess that’s it?”

Lance sounded disappointed

“Yeah. We have to head back, but we should do this more often”

Nosing into Keith’s cheek, Lance kissed him again

“I’d really like that”

“Me too. This was nice”

“Yeah. Next time you should try having Kosmo chase you. He looks so happy running around”

“You looked pretty happy too”

“I am. I feel so much better now. I know we vampires are supposed to live in coffins and hate the sun, but I like the outdoors”

“Have you ever been hiking?”

“Years ago. We both know how I feel about unnecessary physical exercise”

“We should go. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it at the end”

“Fiiiiine. But if I let you find a trail, can you promise you’ll go easy on me?”

Lance didn’t need him to go easy on him. He could out walk Keith any day

“No way. You have the advantage”

Lance blew a raspberry on his cheek, before darting away from him

“Be nice to your elders”

Keith wiped at his cheek, nose wrinkled

“You’re fucking gross”

Lance laughed, setting Kosmo down. The puppy bounding over to Keith happily

“You brought it on yourself”

Picking up Kosmo’s lead, Keith huffed

“I’m going to find a stick and stake your undead arse!”

“Babe, you don’t need a stick for that. Hey, tripped over a branch lately? How about a root?”

Groaning at his boyfriend, Keith buried his face in his hands

“Baaaabe. No. That’s terrible”

Lance came back to his side, slinging his arm over Keith’s shoulders

“Why is sex in tents always great? Because it’s fucking in-tents. Pidge made me learn a bunch of pick up lines because she worried I was going to die alone”

“Lance, you don’t need to lie to me. You knew pick-up lines before Pidge, didn’t you?”

Lance sighed dramatically, leaning heavily against him

“Yeah, but I never used them. I mean, the only guy I would pick up, I can literally throw over my shoulder at any time”

“And now I can never show my face in that pub again... You’re lucky your cute”

Lance eased back, smiling as he did

“You’re the only one who’d say that”

Good. He didn’t want to share

“Hey, babe. Go ahead and feel my shirt. It’s boyfriend material”

Lance snorted with laughter, Keith a little embarrassed, but happier that his boyfriend was happy. Today had been salvaged and now he just wanted to go back to Lance’s room and ignore work.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #342

“in this farewell, there’s no blood, there’s no alibi / ‘cuz i’ve drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies”

What’s your all-time favourite cartoon? Does anime count? In which case I'd say Fullmetal Alchemist, or the original Pokemon. If we're not including anime, then uhhhh Avatar: The Last Airbender, even though I have much more to go in the series. Have you ever taken dance lessons? What kind? Yeah, I've done a few for many years: jazz, clogging, modern, and hip hop. When did you last run and why? I literally couldn't tell you. I don't even know if I can run with the current state of my legs. My knees would probably crumple. Does your house/flat/whatever the hell you live in need cleaning? Not necessarily cleaning, but sorting. I still have boxes outside and inside my room of my stuff I need to put up somewhere... but whenever I prepare to do it, I just get so overwhelmed and shy away from it. Then there's the spare room, that's a total mess loaded with boxes and the like. Mom and I have just avoided it like the plague. Was your last relationship with a man or a woman? Woman. What do you think your next achievement will be? HOPEFULLY getting a job... Do you like mushrooms? NOOOOOOO. What dream do you remember most vividly? I'm not talking about it. Favorite kind of bread? Pumpernickel. Rabbits or hamsters? Rabbits. I've never met a nice hamster, and I just think rabbits are cuter. A movie you’ve never seen that it seems like every one else has? Harry Potter films. Favorite dog breed? I'm biased towards beagles. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Where I live, there aren't really many weighty trees with low branches. Just pine trees. Most common lie you tell? That I'm "fine" when I'm not. Ever seen your parents make out? Jc no, I'll take a hard pass there. Do you put your hair up a lot or down? It's too short to put up. Most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither. What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan of cheek dermals at all, but you do you 100%. Were you raised in a religious house? Yes; I was raised Roman Catholic. Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Mom used to for many years until I became an adult and she just realized it was in vain. I haven't lived with Dad since I was a teenager, but when my parents were together, he usually didn't say anything. Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, thankfully. I'd stop talking to the person immediately. What would you do if your parent hit you? I honestly feel like I'd slap them back and get the fuck out. Or just freeze in shock and cry. What's your most common mood? Stressed but distracted. Do you like poems? Yeah, usually. Ever kissed someone half-naked? Uh yeah. Have you ever been in a parade? No. Do you still play Pokémon? I play Pokemon GO, and I've actually been tempted to get out my DS and play one of the games I have (I can't remember which). I do find Pokemon games to be VERY grind-ey, though, so I can't play them for too long without getting bored. What is your favorite Pokémon? Ninetales. I also really love Espeon, though, and Charmander will always have my heart. Is there an animal you like that most people don't? Bats! :') Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it's liked? No animal is overrated. Have you ever "quit" a site and came back to it more than once? Uhhhh I don't think so. Do you have an "odd" fascination with anything? Most would probably consider "vulture culture" to be pretty weird, being drawn to dead animals and all... What's the hardest thing you've been through, & what did you learn from it? The breakup with Jason. I learned that some people make promises they aren't afraid to break, that someone can promise "forever" and not mean it, that the most unexpected can just snap their fingers and forget about you... I learned a lot. And most things, not positive. What are three "unrealistic" things you want most? 1.) To be able to financially support myself by just freelance nature photography; 2.) sooo many different kinds of pets; and 3.) to be totally rid of my mental illnesses. Do you take any daily vitamins? No, but I would if I was the one who bought groceries and stuff. I do however take Vitamin D once a week for my legs. Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? JUST THREE??????? FUCK MAN idk. Uhhh well there's of course Darkiplier and Wilford Warfstache, then uhhh probably Pyramid Head. If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Idk, I'd really need to be more educated on their lore before I made that decision. Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? I both do and don't want to resume learning German. I got very good at it and could have basic conversations, but lack of application has slaughtered my vocabulary. Now it's like, it'd be nice to try again, but for what purpose? I don't think I'll ever actually apply it to my life, so it just seems like it'd be a load of wasted effort. But then on the other hand, I also feel that doing something you simply want to do isn't a waste of time. Idk. What is one of your firmest beliefs? Equality for all. No race, religion, whatthefuckever makes you more or less valuable than someone else. Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you'd truly enjoy? Oh yes. Depression and anxiety, mostly. Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I definitely try, and I'll certainly admit to them. How do you hope the world will change, if at all? I just want more compassion, less violence, more understanding... What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? In short, I believe that something sentient created the universe, and it/they/he/she/what-have-you just... let life play out from there, I think. I like to believe there's a plane of consciousness like an afterlife that exists, but if not, I don't really care. I hope the evil get what was coming to them, and the good get back what they gave, but maybe we're all better off without life after death. We'll all find out one day. Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? Some, yes; others, not so much. This is very situational. Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? Haha, you're asking an avid player. I enjoy it, but not as much as I used to. At one point I was a Heroic raider, sometimes dabbling in Mythic, but now I'm just mostly a casual mount collector that likes chatting with my guildies and just doing dailies 'n shit. I owe a lot to the game, honestly; it helped me stay occupied throughout the breakup, and still today gives me something to do. What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? I have an Acer Nitro with Windows 10. Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I'm no longer in school. If you don't attend, are you taking any "lessons" for anything? No, but I would like to join a photography course somewhere. A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo just made me hate war more than I innately did. What genres of music are your favorite? Just metal as an umbrella term. Some heavy stuff, some less, some in the middle, some leaning towards other genres... but I just like metal. Do you think that fate plays a part in people's lives? No. Wouldn't "fate" just make it all... worthless? Like we're just storybook characters with a predetermined ending? What are your opinions on the media? One word: manipulative. What's a piece of technology you'd like to own? I REALLY want a PS4, especially lately. There's just a lot of games I REALLY want to play. Are you afraid of technology developing to where we're too reliant on it? We're already *too* reliant on it, which I do believe is a bad thing. I know, absolutely hysterical for me to be talking. What's your favorite odd ice cream flavor? I don't think I've ever had a truly odd ice cream flavor. There's this local place though that makes a kind that tastes JUST like s'mores, and I can fucking murder a cup of that. What's your opinion on stereotypes/labels? They're limiting and devalue uniqueness, imo. I know very, very few people who totally fit a certain stereotype, so why even bother. Like I don't care if you use them as adjectives to some extent, just don't put too much weight on them. Just be you. Do you believe that history repeats itself? It's not necessarily doomed to, but it happens sometimes, obviously. Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Depends on the mistake. What was the most interesting class you had in school? Probably Mythology in high school. Do you write? If so, what? Yeah, meerkat role-play. And every now and again, poetry. Do you have a favorite culture? No; I'm not educated on nearly enough to pick one. Do you believe in global warming? Have you researched it? Lol no shit I do. I don't exactly think it takes much research to see with your own two eyes that it's factual. Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? Tattoos, if I had to pick. What comedy movie is your favorite? White Chicks. Have you ever meditated? Yes. Doesn't work for me. What comes to mind when you think of a great moment in your life? Realizing it was my choice to liberate myself and my happiness from my ex. He didn't and never should've carried it, because that's my right. What do you like about springtime? Aaaaall the flowers. <3 How have you handled having to stay in? It's not really different from my average day, so... How would your friends describe you? Quiet and overthinks literally everything. Have you ever hallucinated? When I was coming off a certain med in middle school, I saw black moving shadows. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? The partial hospitalization program I attended for two months following my suicide attempt. It's where I met my psychiatrist, who set my medication straight. Medicine besides though, I learned so many coping techniques and just how to deconstruct my trauma. As well as possible, anyway. What is the worst decision you ever made? Handing over the ability to make happiness for myself to another person. What is your favorite arcade game? Don't have one. Do you feel neglected? No. What school subject(s) are/were your best? English, Arts, Science. Are you allergic to pollen? Yep. What style of wedding dress do you like best? Probably ballgown. Are you over your first love? I probably never will be in complete totality. Do you always answer your phone? No. I only ever do if I recognize the number. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Today is actually my sister's birthday. What song is currently stuck in your head? I have Halocene's cover of "What I've Done" on a loop right now. It has me absolutely covered in goosebumps. Do you ever use coloring books? Not really anymore. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? Not to my knowledge, no. What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? Just your normal, mildly hot salsa. Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? Mom's car hasn't been washed in... well, years, given its bumper. Mom worries that in a car wash, it'll be broken off (it is literally held on with a lot of zip ties and duct tape), and we ourselves don't want to wash it, so... Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? I know we have one or two, but idk what they're called. What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? Dad never went to college. Mom changed her major a few times, but her latest was social work, I believe. Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? Not at all. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? Because it's hot as fuck and humid. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I don't know. Hopefully I'll start one soon when I leave PHP and pursue a job... What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? I'm always in my room. Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? I feel awful admitting I do quite the opposite... Being in the dark during the day affects my depression, so I'll have my lamp (or both) on even if it's just sort of shaded inside. Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? Eh, it depends on the food. I'm not very adventurous with foods though. Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? I do. Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? ... It wasn't "kinky," but it was a dream lmao. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? That's how I ended the whole Joel childishness. Which friend do you confide in most? My mom. Do you wear a cross? No. What is your favorite doughnut? That's so hard. :( Krispy Kreme's normal glazed though probably takes the cake. I also love chocolate frosted and just totally plain, though. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? No. Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? Neither. Do you or your parents rake your yard? Dad did growing up. Now nobody does or needs to. Who did you last go to the movies with? Dad, I think? What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Do you have any family members in the military right now? No. Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? Yeah. Have you ever heard voices? No. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? No. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah, idc. Who is your favorite little girl? My nieces. What do you want the most in life? To feel like I made a difference, even a tiny one. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? OBVIOUSLY Amy Lee's. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? *shrug* What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? Hm. Have you ever been on a ship? No. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? IF I wanted kids, which I absolutely do not, I'd rather have my own. I know I'd feel a deeper connection. What would you class as cheating on someone? As soon as you do/say something you don't want your s/o to know about, you're cheating. As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? Studs. Do you recycle? Yes. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? People have thought I don't try hard enough before. Do you put a line through your "7"s? Yes. ^ What about your "Z"s? Yes. What are you most known for? My art "skill," at least irl. How do you feel about shameless self-promoting? Depends on when, where, and how. As someone who's trying to be a freelance photographer, I get that it's sadly necessary, but there are some places it's just uncalled for.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''what i've done'' by linkin park

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hideyseek · 5 years ago

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50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

tagged by @usersoup <3

What is the colour of your hairbrush? it is .. black and turquoise, though i must admit that since i’ve cut my hair i rarely use it.

Name a food you never eat? huh. caviar? i tend to forget about the existence of foods i don’t eat until i’m on the instacard website. chocolate ice cream, i guess. that’s like, a normal-person food i never consume.

Are you typically too warm or too cold? i am constantly too cold. as i type this i am in my apartment in sweatpants under a blanket and my roommate is in shorts and a tshirt.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? mm i was reading a room of one’s own, at risk of sounding like the pretentious humanities major i am. i’m reading it out of desperation (we are in possession of the writer’s block and we would like to give it up as soon as possible), after having had it in my head to read since i came across a lin-manuel miranda tween in like 2015 telling all young writers to read it

What is your favourite candy bar? i don’t really like.. candy. twix or butterfingers, if i had to pick one at gunpoint.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? yEAH u fucking bet i went to winterguard international championships twice in high school and bands of america championships once (both as part of my school’s winter/colorguard). i’ve never gone to a pro sportsball match though.

What is the last thing you said out loud? oh, are you really out there alone? (at my roommate, who is on the balcony with a desk lamp rigged up for optimal dirtball making).

What is your favourite ice cream? vanilla. or hazelnut. i fucking love hazelnut.

What was the last thing you had to drink? not to associate myself with brands, but i am drinking sprite as i type this.

Do you like your wallet? yes! i had my wallet nicked on a bus in the middle of the semester and my replacement is a lovely narrow black folding wallet that i am infinitely fond of.

What was the last thing you ate? the dregs of my cheezits, pepper jack flavor

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? mm no, though during my phone call with my grandma earlier this week she told me i should buy more clothes no less than four times. she thinks i should own and wear more “pretty girl clothes” and i haven’t the heart to tell her that i think gender is fake.

The last sporting event you watched? i participated in a harry potter pub quiz over zoom the other week, if that counts. otherwise, probably something televised and american football related, several months ago.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? KETTLE CORN KETTLE CORN KETTLE CORN KETTLE CORN KETTLE CORN KETTLE CORN

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? oH thank god i have an interesting answer to this one -- my stage manager/playwright friend, whose recent play i am dying to get a copy of.

Ever go camping? yeah. my family used to go every august with some family friends.

Do you take vitamins? mm just vitamin d. (fuck off this was not meant to be a dick joke).

Do you go to church every Sunday? nah.

Do you have a tan? not anymore... even during the semester i spend most of my time underground in a basement rehearsal space or in the on-campus computer labs. (hence the vitamin d)

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? these are?? not equivalent at all in terms of scope? chinese food, of course.

Do you drink your soda with a straw? nah. can-to-mouth for me.

What colour socks do you usually wear? depends on how cold i am: i have some very lovely warm purple socks and some red and black socks that my dear friend gifted me for christmas last? year? but otherwise i have just sports shoes height white socks and black socks.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? i am gay, i do not drive.

What terrifies you? failure, mostly. i hate that that’s my answer, but there you go. failure, or being putting myself in a situation where i don’t really have a choice in what happens to me.

Look to your left, what do you see? mm, i just moved from the study to bed so: the empty space in the loft bed railing where the ladder is, a blank wall, the edge and hinges of the bedroom wall.

What chore do you hate? none, really? i’ll get really passive-aggressive about some of the small apartment tidying things in my head, but not often enough that anything comes to mind now.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? how my linguistics prof last semester had folks self-identify if they spoke non-american english in the middle of lecture

What’s your favourite soda? hm, hm. oH. there’s a vietnamese sandwich place in my hometown that has the best lychee soda. (a handful of google image searches informs me this is elisha aerated brand)

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? hm, most of the time when i’m going to fast food i’m going to in-n-out with either a pile of theater people or my high school friend group, so sitting. er, going in.

Who’s the last person you talked to? roommates, in person.

Favourite cut of beef? i could not name cuts of beef if u asked me to really nicely. actually jk i know uh, ox... oxtail? i like oxtail soup.

Last song you listened to? am in the middle of listening to trenchh by cavetown but i’ve been alternating fob and cavetown and bastille on shuffle on spotify.

Last book you read? ella enchanted by gail carson levine, because it is my #1 comfort book.

Favourite day of the week? i like thursdays. they just sound nice.

Can you say the alphabet backwards? if i had like, several minutes, i probably could do it. but everything after w would involve me counting (counting? reciting?) from the beginning.

How do you like you coffee? i’ll drink it any way but black. i have discovered i do not like dalgona coffee. but i like the dark chocolate mocha that peet’s does in the winter a ridiculous amount.

Favourite pair of shoes? i have this pair of converse that’s grey stripes that always makes me feel like a Cool Arts Student, even though it’s actively terrible for my arches.

The time you normally go to bed? to bed? midnightish. to being asleep? usually 1-2ish.

The time you normally get up? eleven in the morning, apparently, since that’s what’s been happening now that i’m not setting alarms. during the school year, usually 7:30 or 8 because i work in the scene shop half the mornings of the week.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? conceptually? sunsets. aesthetically? also sunsets. metaphorically, though, i prefer sunrises.

How many blankets on your bed? i’ve got a blanket (duvet, maybe? comforter? i have never really vibed with these western concepts of bedding) and another knitted blanket.

Describe your kitchen plates: black and square and slightly chipped because roommates and i get a bit aggressive with cramming them onto the drying rack.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? i like hard cider. (i like soft cider better than hard cider, but the apple taste drowns out the alcohol taste enough for me to have a pretty good time.)

Do you play cards? haha yeah. whenever i’m home i play 24 with my little brother and lose a lot. or my family’ll play 21. or BS, which i fucking hate because i cannot lie for shit.

What colour is your car? still gay, still don’t drive.

Can you change a tire? mmmmmmmmmmm no. i have a shocking lack of car-related life skills for someone holding down a job that mostly involves wrenches.

Your favourite province? oh boy. hubei province, bc there’s no country specification and this feels less impersonal than if i were to just point somewhere in australia.

Favourite job you’ve ever had? hm, let’s limit this to work i’ve done for money, just to narrow the field down. (i tend to like the work i do a lot.) i really really enjoy working as a sound technician, especially as a mic assistant (it checks my “meeting people” box and my “helping people with their emotions” box and my “storytelling for an audience” box because at the theater i work at, pre-show mic check is me talking about my day and has resulted in a handful of people telling me i should try standup). the hours and pay are kind of crap, though. you don’t get friday nights when your friday nights are spent backstage of the same show you’ve heard twenty million times at this point. i also enjoy teaching computer science, because i just fucking like computer science. christ, i just,, miss being at work :c the production of newsies i was gonna do this summer got canceled.

How did you get your biggest scar? mm, pass.

What did you do today that made someone else happy? i, hm. everything that comes to mind feels vaguely manipulative, since i can’t really tell if people were made happy? oh! i had an extended slack conversation with one of the academic interns for the cs class i help teach that was basically just us bonding over word humor. he seems like the kind of person who would have gotten a kick out of it.

I tag: @kittog @wali21 @capt-ann @lemon-yellow @iamanonniemouse @raccoon-sex-dungeon @snakesonacartesianplane @eternalflarg @swimmingseafish (do it if u want! don’t let me bully u into anything)

#tag game #SOUP I LIKED THIS A LOT! THANK U #no pressure friends #!#but also i enjoy holding knowledge about the people i like

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homosociallyyours · 5 years ago

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@ha-larry-us and @livqueer tagged me to do this! Here we go :)

1. what is the colour of your hairbrush? light amber wood color

2. a food you never eat? beets, tho i keep trying

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? neither, usually my body regulates temp well. but being sick that’s a little different and i never know if i’ll be shivering or having a hot flash

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? going back and forth between instagram and tumblr

5. what is your favourite candy bar? uhh maybe a snickers or a 100 grand bar

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? i went to the Oakland A’s gay day a few years ago with co-workers. It was really fun!! but i could never attend a serious sports event to cheer for a winning team.

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? "come on, ding dong, you can do it” --said to my dog who was hesitating jumping down off the chair where she’d sat while i washed my dishes

8. what is your favourite ice cream? McConnell’s salted caramel and chocolate flake. or anything that’s a mascarpone or goat cheese base. yum.

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? decaf yorkshire with milk

10. do you like your wallet? YES! i have a scarf that has a secret pocket in it! it holds cards and other small essentials and it’s very sneaky.

11. what was the last thing you ate? granola with milk

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nah bruh i haven’t bought new clothes in ages!

13. the last sporting event you watched? i watched the last season of GLOW when it came out. that’s as close as i get.

14. what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? chicago mix babyyyy! cheddar and caramel together at last.

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? my housemate, it was the landlord’s contact info

16. ever go camping? YES, and i miss it!! i used to camp regularly and really love my pseudo-glamping life: cooler full of good food, a double high air mattress, and a tent that allows you to stand up in the center (to change clothes). i haven’t gone since coming to california, which is a total bummer.

17. do you take vitamins? yes, vit. D and fish oil daily, ideally i would have a good multi, PS, and maybe a couple other things, but i can’t afford them all right now. my minimum is a D though, since yr body really does NOT get it from sun exposure. i know it sounds silly but vitamins are basically the concrete you pour in a hole to stabilize a beam (yr food). they’re very good and they help a lot!

18. do you go to church every sunday? NO, thank goodness! i even stopped having to go with my family when i visit them.

19. do you have a tan? no, and i rarely do. SPF all the way.

20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? pizza please

21. do you drink your soda with a straw? only fountain sodas with ice

22. what colour socks do you usually wear? bright/mixed colors

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? occasionally, but i’m pretty careful and definitely don’t do it in residential areas.

24. what terrifies you? zombies (seriously) and loss/lack of control of myself

25. look to your left, what do you see? the side of the couch and the blank wall.

26. what chore do you hate? doing the dishes

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? the crocodile hunter

28. what’s your favourite soda? cherry coke or dublin dr. pepper (the cane sugar kind made in texas) orrrr cheerwine

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? i drive thru everywhere except in-n-out, where it often takes less time to walk in.

30. who’s the last person you talked to? my housemate and i had a little conversation, but i messaged with my bff earlier and that was a real conversation.

31. favourite cut of beef? umm i really like cooking a ny strip, but i don’t necessarily have a favorite

32. last song you listened to? "fancy” as sung by bobbie gentry bc instagram didn’t have the reba version. WHICH IS UNACCEPTABLE, just so you know.

33. last book you read? my friends, i have a confession. i haven’t read an actual book in ages. i used to read A LOT and then when i got sick it was like my brain said NO THANK YOU and i just stopped. i still read loads, it’s just mostly fic or articles. that being said, i just finished i must admit i thought i’d like to make you mine by @disgruntledkittenface and it was EXCELLENT.

34. favourite day of the week? Thursdays. like for as long as i can remember. it was hamburger day when i was a kid, and now it’s thursday hersday. and of course it was must see tv night all thru my adolescence.

35. can you say the alphabet backwards? i mean i probably could but why would i want to?

36. how do you like your coffee? with whole milk (and if i’m doing it myself, a little cinnamon, a pinch of salt, and a pinch of sugar)

37. favourite pair of shoes? my dog face flats (they’re bob’s for dogs, you can maybe google them) even tho they are really worn out now

38. at what time do you normally go to bed? between 4-7am. i am a cryptid, please do not look at me

39. at what time do you normally get up? between 2-5pm, again i beg you to look away and judge me not

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets!! (SAME!!)

41. how many blankets are on your bed? 4 right now. 2 super soft, 1 electric, and 1 duvet/comforter.

42. describe your kitchen plates? the classic 70s/80s unbreakable plates, some with the gold flowers around the rim and some with the tiny olive green ones. truly i think i have only seen a plate like this break once in my entire life. i bought these at a store in nyc (i definitely overpaid BUT it was still like $20 for 6 or 8 plates that will never break)

43. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? a properly made sidecar is HEAVEN, ok? so good!! but you gotta use good brandy and fresh lemons and i would get one if i could go back to my fave nyc bar and have pietro (a very good bartender) make me one. but really the thing that i will always want and have difficulty turning down is champagne/sparkling wine in the style of champagne.

44. do you play cards? yes! i used to play all the time with my ex. don’t so much any more but i still love it when i get to!

45. what colour is your car? dark orange

46. can you change a tire? YES!! @ha-larry-us when the quarantine is done I will show you!! it really isn’t too hard unless your bolts are on super tight.

47. what is your favourite state/province? California, i think. though part of me wants to name a southern state because I was born there and the mountains feel like home.

48. favourite job you’ve ever had? the one i currently have but am physically unable to work at right now-- cheesemonger at a worker owned grocery store

49. how did you get your biggest scar? i was borrowing stage makeup from a friend in another dorm before our choir performance. the door was usually propped open, and so when i left the building i sorta jogged down the steps and pushed really hard on the door with my momentum. it was NOT propped open, and I put my right arm through the glass (and knocked out two more panes with my knee and foot). the RA was training to be an EMT and helped me get cleaned up. I didn’t get stitches, but the scar is very long (maybe 3 inches). the best part of the story is that i went to make sure the choir director knew i wasn’t performing but would sit in the audience, and her response was “we don’t have time to give you sympathy.” she was having a rough year but DAMN that was an ice cold response to an injured 18 year old.

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy? hmm probably just chatting with my bff. that makes both of us happy, always.

IDK WHO TO TAG!!! who is the sort of person to answer 50 random questions?? @alienfuckeronmain maybe? how about @slowdownsugar? hmm maybe @crinkle-eyed-boo and uhh @pompomoffinland. And you, friend!! YOU who is sitting there really wishing you were tagged, I am definitely tagging you!!

#about me #50 questions #text post #long post #alcohol mention #injury mention #this took me back to the old livejournal days

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writingfortoomanyfandoms · 5 years ago

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3K Netflix Original Blurb Prompts

So here are the blurb prompts for the Netflix Original days - you can request with Billy and Steve on the Stranger Things day, with Clay, Zach and Justin on the 13RW day and then with all the Hargreeves kids on the Umbrella Academy day!! You could ask about me writing for other characters but those are the ones I mainly wanna write for but ofc others are welcome! As always, you don’t need to just use prompts when requesting, your own ideas are more than welcome, the prompts are just really for inspiration :)

Speech:

“What are you thinking about?”

“You’re trembling”

“Rise and shine motherfucker”

“Please don’t punch his face too hard, I happen to quite like his face”

“Stop calling me brave, we both know that’s not true”

“It’s just a stupid crush”

“Talk to me, you can’t take on all of this alone”

“I have to say this now or I never will”

“You can call me whenever you want… even if you don’t have a reason to”

“I didn’t mean it - I’m sorry! If I could invent a time machine and go back and change it I would!”

“I’m not your ex you can be yourself with me”

“I promised myself I wouldn’t let you get hurt”

“You’re my favourite person” “You hate everyone else” “High praise then”

“You have a surprisingly sweet smile considering how psychopathic you act on a daily basis”

“I wanted to say ‘I love you’ for the first time without stuttering but that failed”

“I’d rather cut my throat than see him again”

“It wasn’t your fault”

“He kinda scares me, not gonna lie”

“I’m sorry - I didn’t know where else to go”

“Just trust me”

“I don’t know how to love someone without hurting them”

“Now, I’m not saying that I hate you, all that I’m saying is that if you were on fire and there was water next to you, chances are I’d drink it”

“I really wish you would have told me your family were home”

“Rumour has it I make you nervous”

“I thought your One Direction phase was long-gone?”

Cliches:

Stealing their shirt

Kissing in the rain

There’s only one bed

Secret relationship

Everyone keeps telling me to stay away from you bc you’re dangerous

Overhearing they have feelings for you

Best friends to lovers

Taking care of the other when they’re injured/ill

I’m too stubborn to admit I’m scared but you know and take my hand

EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS YOU’RE GONNA DATE SO JUST FUCK ALREADY

Pick Up Lines:

“You remind me of my pinky toe - it’s cue and I’d probably bang you on the coffee table”

“Are you a poster? Because I want to pin you on a wall”

“I don’t have a library card but can I check you out?”

“Do you have a name of should I just call you mine?”

“Spell me” “M-E” “You forgot the D” “There isn’t a D in me” “Not yet there’s not”

“I may not be a photographer but I can picture you and I together”

“You must have forgotten to take your vitamins today because you seem to be lacking in vitamin me”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I look forward to being rejected by you”

“Can I follow you because my mum told me to follow my dreams”

“You look familiar, didn’t we have a class together? I could have sworn we had chemistry”

Situations:

Breakfast in bed

Working in a coffee shop

Being neighbours

Sharing a bed

Meeting their family

Meeting your family

Getting injured and them worrying over you

Dancing together at three in the morning

Movie marathon

Cuddling on a Sunday morning

WTSILY:

Listening to them as they vent

Making their coffee for them just the way they like it

Kissing their bruises as they form

Buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them

Holding their hand when you can tell that they’re nervous/upset

“I want you to have this”

“Sit down”

“I’ll help you study”

“Be careful”

“You always look perfect”

#courts3kblurbweek #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfiction #billy hargrove #billy hargrove fanfiction #clay jensen #clay jensen fanfiction #zach dempsey #zach dempsey fanfiction #justin foley #justin foley fanfiction #diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves fanfiction #five hargreeves #Five Hargreeves fanfiction #klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves fanfiction #ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves fanfiction

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furbyfubar · 5 years ago

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How's Sweden? 🇪🇺🇸🇪❤️

In what context? Do you mean for the country as a whole or what? Big question...

Never mind, I get few enough asks here that I can give you a more comprehensive answer. I'll use it as an excuse to take stock of my personal trends against those of my country? Sorry not sorry for the incoming wall of text. Note, this is why you shouldn't say "How do you do?" to anyone from Sweden; we're tragically likely to give you an honest answer!

Weather for Sweden: You're UK based, so lets go by stereotypes and start with talking about the weather I suppose? It's winter, so the weather here is *usually* quickly summed up as "dark". Right now Sweden has between ~7 hours 15 minutes of time between sun up and sun down in the far south of Sweden, and "fuck you" minutes of sun on the far north, where it's currently polar night until about two weeks into January. On top the normal lack of sun, Sweden got an early Autumn this year and had less actually sunny days than usual in October and November due to clouds. So yeah, vitamin D deficiency for about 25% of the population according to my doctor. And many of the ones avoiding a deficiency are doing it by eating supplements. On a longer time scale, ”climate” not “weather”... Yeah, we’ve been having heat records broken and all that shit here the past few years as as well while having some winters be worse due to the Gulf stream being messed up..

Rating: 3.5/10 – It sucks, but it's not much worse than the expected level of suckiness?Weather for me personally: I'm based in Stockholm and we're currently at 6½h of sun up time per day, but like I said, it’s been cloudy. Not so cold so far though. The problem for me personally is that when the sun goes down at 14:52 I often miss out on the sun completely due to my fucked up sleeping patterns. Or the sun is up but covered while I’m going to work and that's it for sunlight that day. I'd likely suffer from winter depression if only I could separate it from my normal depression. We’ve had some snow that stays on the ground, but we’re somewhat surprisingly not in the hell that is streets filled with snow-water slosh yet.

Rating: 3.5/10 – I don’t think the weather sucks more or less for me than it does for the country on average. (Places north of the polar circle excluded; I would really no be able to stand months of polar night.)

Health for Sweden: Sweden made #6 on the Bloomberg 2019 Healthiest Country Index, up two positions from 2017. Up from a score of 88.92 to 90.24 out of 100, so apparently it's not just other countries having worse health, things have gotten a bit better here.Rating: 9.24/10 – Well, Bloomberg hopefully put a lot more effort into their score than I’ll ever do, so I’ll just re-scale and steal it.

Health for me personally: I had to basically skip a year due depression and exhaustion. Not being able to work due to a non-functioning brain obviously sucks, but to bring this back to how Sweden is: Being able to be on sick leave for almost a year and thus being able to focus on getting medication that works for me and not being worried about getting evicted for not making rent is a blessing. I'm back to working part time since October while still on sick leave for 50%, trying to ease me back in to the productive work force. So far going well. If I’d been forced to somehow work or starve, or live off my parents or something instead, I’m pretty sure I’d either be much deeper in depression right now, or be dead. I’ve still not really found meds that work great for me, but I'm feeling much better than I was a year ago.

Rating: 3/10 – I'm as optimistic as a clinically depressed person gets to be.

Status politically for Sweden (as I see it personally): It's getting more fucked by the day. The Moderate party just broke their campaign promise to not cooperate with the Sweden Democrats, a party born from neo-Nazi and white power movements. For UK context, think of the British National Party. Now imagine them going from a fringe group in the '90s to getting 20% of the votes in recent polls. They've been doing this all while having a whole bunch of scandals that would've hurt or killed the credibility of any non-fascist party. They're racist, homo- and transphobic, and operate their own alternative media that have ties to Russian disinformation efforts. So yeah, as a gay guy who's seen the inside of a few history books: Outlook not great.

Rating: 2/10 – If only because it can still get worse. Think first act of Cabaret.

Love life for Sweden: Hmm, check in on satwcomic.com I suppose?

Love life for me personally: Yes please? I've been single for longer than I'm willing to admit. I've barely dated anyone for ages due to my aforementioned depression making me not feel like someone worth dating. Also, there's some types of vitamin D deficiencies that eating supplements won't cure...

Rating: I really don't want to put a number on this so I won’t. Honestly, graphing out my love life numerically doesn't sound all that productive. But somewhere at the edge of the Bell curve is the guy for me?

Economically for Sweden: Sweden's been in a upward business cycle since 2016, but it's ebbing out and is expected to be balanced sometime next real. Ie, things have been good, but things aren't quite yet bad. Rating: 5.5/10 – I suppose? Not really my area of expertise.

Economically for me personally: Not complaining at all on this front. I got an IT job four years ago after having worked part time in retail for a bunch of years and having been a student before that. I've managed to not raise my monthly expenses even nearly as much as my pay went up. So while I’m not wealthy, I'm still surprised by being able to have a savings account that grows steadily and still having more spending money over each month.

My rating: 8/10 – This quote by Charles Dickens comes to mind: “Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and six, result misery.”

Social life in Sweden: According to this article I just Googled up from half remembering reading in 2015, “The expat quality of life survey" published by HSBC, Sweden was the worst country for the category "Making friends". Looking at the data on HSBC's website we're apparently no longer dead last as a place to be making friends, we're now 31st out of the 33 countries listed, with Japan at 32nd place and Saudi Arabia last at 33rd. The United Kingdom is at 29th.

It is close to impossible to make friends here by talking to random strangers in most situations, as only weird people talk to strangers. Of course that mentality is self-fulfilling since if you assume any stranger talking to you is weird, drunk, or high, you will not want to make friends with strangers that talk to you, and you won't want to talk to strangers more than you have to or risk being branded weird. Even striking up random conversations at a pub will be more difficult here.

But don’t despair, there’s a trick! Find the few social situations where Swedes want to talk to people they don't know: This is done by joining some organization or club of some sort. It doesn't really matter if it's a board gaming group, a student group, doing volunteer work for the local Pride or some other NPO or if it's a club for people who really like a certain breed of dogs. Once we've decided that we're among our own kind of people (and I don't mean "other Swedes") we'll happily talk to strangers, and not only about subjects related to that specific organization. Step two is converting them to be your friends and not just some randos you can talk to at some club meeting. I’m sad to say that traditionally this is done with alcohol, either by dragging people along to a pub/bar, or by inviting them or being invited by them to some sort of party. Without alcohol the fallback is fika. If the organization you’ve joined is something that you will naturally be spending time doing outside of the organization or club meetings that’s also ideal. Once you’ve invited or been invited to a few things outside of the organization it’s not strange to invite them to other social things than what the organization cares about.

For fairness to anyone reading this that didn’t read the article: I should probably also mention that the same HSBC study had Sweden as the top country in Europe for “overall quality of life” for expats here. And third best in the world, just behind Singapore and New Zealand in the same category. "Swedes make great friends but terrible strangers”.

My rating for making friends in Sweden is : 3/10 - Join a club, any club.

Social life for me personally: I have a few great close friends and a bunch more not quite as close friends who are also great. Come to think of it, many of them I've met through one of the three different organizations I've been most active in, and most of the rest I met through those friends. I'm really thankful for having friends who are still around even after I've spent way too much time feeling too bad to be very social or friendly at all.

My rating of my friends: 10/10 - No, I'm not biased.OK, so let’s average those numbers up and pretend the averages mean something!

Sweden: 5.81Me: 6.63Wait what? I’m winning?

#personal #depression #Sweden #Stockholm

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cutiecrates · 5 years ago

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Cutie Reviews: Kawaii Box June 19

I don’t have much to say for this one, but I decided not to include the prices and such. I know I probably should but I don’t actually know if it serves any purpose...

Word of the month: Ma-meido - Mermaid

Chocobar Z & Marukawa Kirby Mix’n‘Match Gum

This is unusual, I’m beginning with the snack items first. For this month we got 2 of them, the Kirby Gum and a Special Surprise Treat, something they also did last month, but it was a bonus item rather than a snack. So this is an item I’m semi-familiar with, pretty sure I had one before.

This is pretty much a chocolate umaibo; but it’s not of the Umaibo brand and they have their own chocolate flavor. This reminds me a lot of it, but it has a bitter aftertaste and it’s much thicker. It also brings to mind a chocolate breakfast cereal, it’s pretty yummy. But I wasn’t able to locate it on Blippo.com.

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Our next item is a delicious Kirby packaged gum set. Basically you have so many flavors of gum that you can chew separately or mix to get a new flavor, as you can see by the pic.

I had this years ago back when it first came out and it’s essentially the same, but I noticed right away that before it only had 4 flavors (Yogurt, Mystery, Apple, and Orange), and you could make a few of the same combinations, one of which was actually cola, which was removed because it’s is a flavor now, along with white grape/muscat and soda.

Of course, being a curious person I sat down and tested everything; and once I did I still had a good amount left over. Here was what I thought:

Cola - a little tangy, tastes like cola candy.

White Grape/Muscat - normal muscat/WG candy, but my tongue felt like I had a little salt on it from this one. No idea why.

Soda - typical ramune or soda flavor, very yummy, hard to mess up.

Orange - tastes like orange tic-tacs. I loved these when I was little.

Apple - a sweet apple, delicious~

COMBINATIONS

Soda + Apple = Champagne - It was unique but I’m not sure if I liked it or not. It confused me.

Soda + Cola = Gingerale - Same as above, and I’m not sure it reminded me of gingerale either.

Soda + WG/Muscat = Melon Soda - A strong melon taste with a hint of grape! Very tasty.

WG/Muscat + Apple = Wine - Weird -_- but it tasted better over time.

Apple + Orange = A fruit mix? - I mostly taste orange and couldn’t tell what it was supposed to be.

Soda + Apple + Orange = Vitamin Drink - It was very tasty with a strong citrus flavor.

WG/Muscat + Apple + Orange = Pear - Like the gingerale one, I found it hard to tell if I liked it and if it tasted like what it was meant to be. This one felt a little more successful to me, but I was still unsure.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

None of the flavors tasted badly, I really like them. The flavor lasts for a bit, maybe like 10-15 minutes; and weirdly enough, every piece I spit out had a really pretty pearlescent color and they all came in a different color of the rainbow! I’d recommend these; especially if you like Kirby!

Round Neko Plushie Charm

(Sorry about the items in the background~)

Our next item is an adorable plushie charm based on a round kitty. They’re the purrrfect size to roll around in your hands and squish on when you don’t have a squishy available or just want something different. They also come in a variety of cute kitty colors and patterns and they are completely stuffed with filling.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

As cute as the kitty is I have to admit, the face detracts a fraction of cuteness away from it in my opinion, but I still think it’s very sweet looking. It’s decent looking in terms of sew job and if you like firm plush then I think this would be a good one to get; but I prefer squishier, softer plushies and if you look at the picture, doesn’t the whole thing feel a little unbalanced? It might be easier to see in person, but it kind of bothers me a little.

Dreamland Puffy Stickers & Mermaid Nail Stickers

I love panda bears, so I thought this pastel themed sticker sheet we got was very cute! Besides the panda we also have cute flowers and clovers, birds, and bubbles. Oh, and if you’re wondering they’re sadly not scented.

Rating: ♥ ♥

This bothered me, because I ADORED these. But they get a 1 or 2 out of 10 on the puffy scale, they have a very slight puff to them in appearance, but when you press them they’re very hard. I find them ultra-kawaii but if you’re looking for actual puffy stickers, then you’re not going to be satisfied with these.

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Besides adorable panda clovers, we also get a cute mermaid themed nail sticker set by Snow Fox. Specifically these are their 3D Design Nail Stickers, due to have a 3D element in the form of cute little diamond accents. These are perfect for summer or if you just like mermaids; I especially love how they look like Ariel.

So.. because I didn’t use these yet, I decided not to rate them. Also, I’m pretty sure they’re just like any other sticker; there isn’t much you can say about them and you could probably use them on other things if you wanted to.

Aiko Little Mermaid Face Towel

As of late we have been getting adorable exclusive Kawaii Box/Blippo.com goods featuring the adorable Aiko-chan~ They always fit the theme and they’re made in really good quality too, I love them and it’s such a nice touch to personalize the box more x3 But you can also buy them off of Blippo.com.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s on the smaller side, but it’s perfect for a hand and face towel/rag/wash cloth. The details are really nice, it’s spot-on with the theme, and it feels very soft, and it’s small size makes it very handy for putting into numerous things you might want to bring with you.

Little Twin Stars Key Cover

This item is a bit random (in my opinion) but it’s still cute! This is a Sanrio original item you just pop on over your keys to add a touch of adorableness every time you pop them out, and it includes a ball chain so if you don’t plan to use it for the intended purpose, you can just turn it into a cute charm or keychain.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I like Little Twin Stars, but Lala has always been my favorite out of the two. I was a little disappointed I didn’t get her, but I still think they’re both really sweet and adorable. The chain is good and the key cover is made from rubber with really nice, but simple and bright detail. It even has molded on writing on the back for the branding that looks amazingly crisp and clean.

Our Little Mermaid Notebook & Puffy Narwhal Sticky Notes

To go with our theme, we have these 2 cute writing stationery items by Tree in Art; a gorgeous mermaid notebook, which I’m sure you can tell is a lot bigger than what we usually get in these boxes; I was surprised! And it came in a few variations, all with a lovely watercolor/pastel theme.

The paper is basic lined, nothing fancy, but it has Discover Your Senses written on the bottom of each sheet. I like how it seems to go with the image.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

So I know you can judge paper quality by doing various things or using various pens and coloring tools on them- but I don’t really know paper at all, so I can’t really do that. But I mean, I didn’t notice anything wrong with the paper the one time I’ve used it thus far, I wish the pages were a little more decorative though to match the outside.

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I don’t really know anything of the Tree in Art brand, but so far I’ve been liking what we get. It’s very soft and sweet looking, like this puckered lip narwhal sticky note set o3o

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I really like the detail they put into the backing of these, you can see it in the pic right? It’s a very cute touch to go with the very cute sticky note image. I could see these floating around quite quickly in the office or school among friends~

Also, these tear very easy. Not easy enough that they won’t stick to each other, but easy enough there’s no issues tearing them off.

Kawaii Jellyfish Pen

Our last item, and one of my most favorites in this months box is an adorable Jellyfish themed pen :D besides having a cute, simple design on the tube using various pastels and pink tones, there’s an adorable jellyfish charm hanging from the top, the main attraction! The jellyfish feels like a light plastic and has fabric strands as the tentacles; it can also be taken off if you wish to turn it into a keychain, or a charm for a necklace or something.

The pen is a fine tip, and these came in a few color variations if I recall.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I love love love it~ it’s so adorable and fun looking, and I love fine tip pens x3 you need to give them a few seconds to dry when using them, but they right so smoothly. It’s also really fun to use the pen and watch the jellyfish wiggle around on the tip.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5: I really liked this box, all the items were well-made and seemed thought out, and like usual we got a mix of things. I didn’t see any real quality issues or problems.

Theme - 4 out of 5: Only half of the box fit the mermaid/sea theme; but to be fair, the other half seemed to fulfill the fantasy side. Lately Kawaii Box has been confusing me with its themes and items, but I felt like this one was really obvious :3 perfect for summer too!

Total Rank: 9 out of 10 Cuties. Besides one or two little issues with a single item (and they were minuscule and only my opinion), I felt like this box really picked up the pace after the past two or three boxes. I liked them but with their confusing themes and lack of items fitting them, this one nailed it! Everything is really kawaii and fun, I’d recommend this box!

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Mermaid Notebook - I love the gentle colors and overall sweetness of the cover. I do wish the pages were a little more matching with it, but I still really like it.

2. Jellyfish Pen - it’s so cute the way it sways around~

3. Narwhal Sticky Notes - Very cute, I love how decorative the clear backing is to go with them.

4. Kirby Gum - I love Kirby, and I really did like this gum so it was really fun to experience how it changed over time.

5. Aiko Hand Towel - Perfect for the summer season x3 Aiko-chan looks so cute.

6. Dreamland Puffy Stickers - Very sweet and cute, they give me a dreamy vibe that I love to look at them; but I was disappointed by the lack of puffiness.

7. Mermaid Nail Stickers - They’re so pretty, I’m a little afraid to use them~

8. Chocobar Z - It was delicious~

9. Neko Plushie - I was surprised by this because I love cats. But I don’t know, I just wasn’t feeling it.

10. Little Twin Stars Key Cover - it’s cute but I don’t know when I’ll use it and I feel like out of everything its the least practical for me.

#cutie reviews #kawaiibox #kirby candy #mermaid merchandise #little twin stars

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flowerpowell · 6 years ago

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Secrets II (Liam x MC // Drake x MC)

Second part is here! The actual action starts in next chapter (!!), the first two are just to introduce the characters and the background. In other words, don’t get discouraged, it’ll get better!

All rights for characters go to Pixelberry, plot is inspired by Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, I don’t own these rights either.

Rating: Normal, nothing scandalous

Tagging: @flynnomalleys @boneandfur @choices-sideblog @syltti78 @kickbuttbookworm @client327 @kingliamthirst @walkerduchess @maxattack-powell @lilsouthernsunflower @bizzyschoiches @jared2612 @drakelover78 @confessionsofabrokegirl @furiousherringoperatortoad @mynameiskaylabella

Of course, all good-looking guys are either freaks, gays or fictional. This one here wasn’t an exception. And he’s probably gonna fire me now, Riley thought as Liam shook her hand.

Instead, he just asked, “So, lady Riley, how do you like my house?” “I’d like it better if I could contact my mother” she murmured. “Oh, of course. You can write her a letter and I’ll make sure it will be delivered first thing in the morning.” He smiled warmly. Okay, he is a 100% freak. Who would be that nice after I’ve insulted him on so many ways. “I...Thank you but, don’t you have a phone here?” Riley asked and Bertrand cleared his throat. “Sir.” she added quickly. Liam looked at her and replied, “No, I’m afraid we don’t have a phone. I’m sorry.”

She looked at him in anticipation. “Yes? Do you want to ask me something?” He asked. Riley hesitated and then blurted out “Aren’t going to fire me, sir?” Liam’s eyes widened, “Fire you? And why would I do that, it is jusy your first day!” “Oh, I thought...Nevermind, I’m good” she smiled, “So where’s your daughter, the one I’m supposed to teach?” Before she even finished her question Bertrand made a facepalm and started silently cursing Maxwell for bringing here “this uneducated, clumsy, ill-mannered woman.” What now? Oh, right. She’s an orphan not his daughter. Riley wanted to facepalm herself now too.

“She is not my daughter, however I do take care of her. And I do hope you will make a wonderful governess.” He said politely. “Yes, I’m sorry. But I actually would like to know more about my duties?” “Of course,” Liam smiled, “but first, there is someone you should meet,” he took a hand of a young girl still standing with Maxwell and Bertrand. “Her name is Amelia, Amelia this is Riley, your governess.” The girl looked at Riley as she was speaking, “Hi! I’m Riley, it’s nice to meet you!”

Amelia shook her head and replied, “Je ne compreds pas madame, je m’appelle Amelia and je ne parle pas anglais” Oh my gosh, she’s French. I shouldn’t have written I spoke French perfectly when I know only the basics. Riley nervously giggled. She knew she would have to use French but thought she’d just use the internet. And now, without any help she needed to communicate with this little one.

“Um, bonjour? Oui, enchanté! Je suis Riley.” Amelia smiled and shook her hand “Tu parles français, tu parles français! En fin!” she started daning across the room. Liam looked at her and then at Riley with a big smile on his face. “I think she likes you. I’ll put her to bed and tomorrow you’ll start with English for two hours, is that okay?” He asked. “Yeah, sure, totally! I’ve got this.” I’m so screwed.

Liam left the room with Amelia still singing something in French. Bertrand and Maxwell approached her. The younger brother spoke first. “Good job Riley! They both like you!” “Thank you--” she started but Bertrand broke in. “Yes, they like you somehow so please, do not ruin it.” And he left. Maxwell motioned at his brother. “Don’t be disturbed by him, he’s always been that grumpy.” She smiled. At least one person here was normal. “Thanks. I think Bertrand definitely won the award for the grumpiest man I know.” “Yeah, well, you haven’t met Drake yet, he’s even grumpier.” Maxwell laughed.

What is this place? The grumpy land? Maybe the lack of internet has the same effects as the lack of sun and vitamin D? I surely cannot wait to meet another grumpy man.

They say the first night in a new place is always the hardest. Some also say that whatever you dream about the first night will symbolize your stay in that place.

Riley definitely didn’t have the easiest night. She couldn’t fall asleep until two in the morning and then she had nightmares. In the first one she was running away in a blood-stained wedding dress into the woods. In the second, she was trying to rescue Amelia from burning castle but she got lost in the hall and couldn’t find the exit.

When she woke up at half past six, she was more tired than rested. Sleepily, she took a shower and got dressed. Riley took her books, a French dictionary, her little blackboard and went down for breakfast.

When she arrived to the main hall, Maxwell spotted her and friendly waved at her. “Hey Riley! Come join us for breakfast!” Relieved that she doesn’t have to eat alone Riley entered the dining area in the kitchen and said to hi to Maxwell, Bertrand, and a pretty lady sitting by the table and eating something that looked like a mash. She only hoped it wasn’t oatmeal. Riley sat down next to Bertrand, facing Maxwell with the mysterious woman. “Can we get some oatmeal for lady Riley here, please?” Maxwell asked one of the ladies who were preparing food. She nodded at him and brought a bowl full of oddly looking mash. Mmm, yummy. Just what I needed. Maxwell wiped his face and spoke, “Lady Riley, I don’t believe you’ve met my wife, Hana. Hana, this is lady Riley, a new governess to Amelia!” Riley pretended not to hear when Bertrand snorted and instead smiled at Hana. “It’s nice to meet you!” she said, “I haven’t seen many women here.” Hana returned the smile, “Oh, yes, it’s probably because not many people live here anyway.” “Yes, that’s true,” Maxwell added, “Hana and I live in the left wing of the castle, so you can come by anytime you want. And Bertrand lives here, on the first floor, Liam lives here as well, but a little bit higher, and Amelia lives next door. The rest of rooms are either empty or the staff live there. Sometimes they are given to guests when they come. It’s not very often though.” Maxwell explained and she saw Bertrand giving a cold look at his brother, whispering “less talking” to him.

“Maybe I can give a tour later?” Hana proposed. “I would love that, thank you!” Riley answered. Two normal people, it’s getting better!

After this questionable breakfast, which she truly hoped she’d never have to eat again, Riley headed to the “study” room. This time Maxwell drew her a little map of the most important places so she wouldn’t get lost. Amelia was already there and when she saw her teacher approaching she smiled and ran to embrace Riley.

“Mademoiselle Riley!” she greeted her. Oh, that’s gonna be interesting. “Amelia! Comment ça va?” she started. “Excellemment! Je suis super contente parce que tu parles français. Ni personne ici parles français” Amelia’s smile faded.

Great. She just told me how upset she was because no one here spoke French and here I am, just about to tell her the same.

“Amelia...je parle français juste un peu.” Riley admitted that she knew only basics. To her great surprise, Amelia laughed. “Pas de problème Riley! I can parle un peu English” she said. Now, whaat?

“Umm, I thought you didn’t speak English at all? You never spoke it before.” “Oui, vrai, mais there was ni personne I wanted to parle avec. En plus, those people are très ennuyeux. It is fun to watch and écouter while they ne savent pas que je comprends.”

Riley was shocked. This little one was smarter than she looked like. She was using the fact no one knew she understood what they talked about. Maybe Amelia could tell me what’s going on here.

“Amelia,” Riley started, “since you understand those “boring” people, do you maybe know why this place stopped hundreds years ago and have no singal, wi-fi, and hires an outsider because it’s better than a person from here?” Amelia grinned slyly as she spoke, “I know un peu.” Riley opened her mouth to say something but the girl quickly added, “And I might tell you tout je sais, if you gain my trust.”

That was certainly the weirdest class, weirdest kid Riley ever encountered. For two hours, she was trying to teach Amelia what she already knew. The class ended before Riley even realized and she was free for the day. She decided to look for Hana and start the tour around the castle. She lived with Maxwell in left wing and Riley set out in that direction, map in her hand.

Of course, her bad sense of direction led her somewhere else. Those people who built it must have had an amazing time when they built left wing on the actual right side of the castle. Very funny indeed. But she was lost again and somehow ended up in the garden. Riley heard a voice from one of the stables and she decided to ask that person for directions. When she entered she realized the man she heard was actually speaking to a horse.

Well, a person who talks to animals so nicely must be good, right? Besides, he was pretty good looking. At least his back. Very muscular.

“Ekhm,” she cleared her throat and the man turned around to meet her eyes, he had pretty brown eyes and Riley instantly felt drawn to him, “hi, sorry for interrupting but I got lost and I was wondering if you could help me?” “No.” He answered and got back to brushing the horse’s mane.

Okay, that was rude. “Listen, I’m just asking for directions, and you’re working here so you know where’s the left wing.” she was clearly annoyed. The man didn’t even look up, “Look, whoever you are, maybe it’s the best you got lost. You have a chance to escape and never go back.”

Oh man, this man was a freak too. This place is full of handsome freaks. But does that mean it’s--

“Are you Drake?” she asked and he turned to her in surprise. “I am, how do you know? Who are you?” “Maxwell told me there was a man grumpier than Bertrand named Drake and I just figured.” Drake frowned, “And you came here to offend me or?” “I came here for directions,” she stated, “I look for the left wing.” Drake rolled his eyes. “Do you see that fountain there?” he motioned a beautiful fountain that she didn’t notice at first. “turn left, you need to pass the rose aisle and then turn right and you’ll be there.” “Thanks.” she said and left the stable. This guy was weird. Hopefully, she’ll never have to speak to him again.

“You were right,” Riley said to Maxwell when she finally arrived to where he and Hana were living, “Drake is grumpier than Bertrand. And even more rude.” “Ha! Told you so! Although, if you know him better he’s a pretty nice guy.” “I’m not sure I want to get near him anytime soon” she admitted.

“Lady Riley!” Hana appeared in the doorway, “Do you want to have the tour now?” “I do, I still get lost too easily” Riley laughed. “Maxwell, you want to come too?” his wife asked. “I wish, but Liam and I have some matters to discuss. I’ll see you later!” He kissed Hana and headed out.

“What exactly Liam does? Like, what’s his job?” Riley inquired when the two of them were walking towards the main entrance. Hana sighed. “I’m not sure. I don’t really understand what they’re doing, I saw Maxwell helping him with some finances once so I assumed it’s something like that.” “You never asked?” Isn’t that a normal thing to know what your husband does for a living? “I did, but he said it was complicated. Something with business and politics. I really don’t know Riley, I’m sorry.” “Oh, it’s fine, I was just curious.”

The ladies were walking now in silence until Hana broke it. “So here is the main entrance and there,” she motioned to the windows on higher floors, “is your room, a little higher there is Liam’s and Amelia’s right next to him, then down there, is where Bertrand stays, there is where the guests stay, and here,” she pointed her finger to the window they were facing, “is Liam’s study.”

“And where does Drake live? In the stables?” Hana chuckled, “No, he’s occupying the right wing.” Riley frowned. “Alone?” “Right wing is very old and no one really wants to live there. Drake prefers solitude so he picked this place to live in. There are some guards too.”

Guards? Why would they need guards?

“Umm, Hana? Why guards?” Hana’s eyes widened. “I-I don’t know! They just are, you know, it’s a big castle, it’s probably because of burglars.” “Yeah, sure.” Riley wasn’t convinced. She wanted to ask some more questions but the moment they entered the big hall, Liam went out of his study and greeted the ladies. “Lady Hana! Lady Riley! It’s nice to see you both!” He smiled. “How was your class with Amelia?” he asked approaching the ladies.

Hana excused herself and joined Maxwell. “Good, pretty good actually. She’s learing fast. I’m sure she’ll be able to speak perfect English by the end of the summer.” “Oh, that’s wonderful,” he said, “Lady Riley, would like to take a walk with me around the gardens?” I’m not really sure if he’s completely sane. I’ll take my pepper spray just in case. “Sure! I’ll just grab my bag, wait here!” She yelled running up the stairs, not hearing Liam’s laugh. Maybe this will be my chance to learn something more. Maybe he’ll answer me some questions, Riley thought while packing her spray into the bag. She also took her phone, just in case there’s some signal in the gardens. Besides, she can always dial the police’s number. She just wanted to be secure.

Liam was waiting for her in the very spot she left him. When he saw her, he smiled and streched his hand to her. What a gentleman. Riley took his hand and the two of them headed out to the gardens. She was silent at first, trying to come up with appropriate questions.

Before she had a chance to ask anything Liam spoke up. “So, lady Riley, what do you think of my house?” “It’s...okay. Very old, but I guess that’s your style. I love my bedroom though! And the garden, it’s so pretty. Oh and also, I know it’s not really a business for you but, is there oatmeal every day for breakfast? Cause I hate it. And I just wondered if you’ll let me starve to death or maybe--” Liam interrupted her, chuckling, “Oatmeal is very nutritional, but if you don’t like I’m sure you’ll find something else to eat.” Riley looked at his face. He seemed to be a nice guy. Maybe he just likes solitude and is tired with people.

“Liam, sir I mean, what I really want to know, why are you so separated from the civilization? You’re pretty young I believe, and usually it’s old people that retire somewhere far from the city,” Oh my gosh, Riley shut up, “it’s not like you’re old! I didn’t mean, I just wanted, I, um” she rambled.

Liam stopped walking for a moment and bursted into laughter. “It’s okay, I am not very old that’s true, but I’m not very young either. This country is beautiful but I was tired with people and politics and everything that was happening here. I just really enjoy peace. That’s the whole secret.” She smiled not really satisfied with the answer.

Maybe she was just imagining things? Maybe it was true, this guy right here prefers living in alienation. Maybe there’s no story.

But then, a young man, wearing suit and glasses ran up to them, calling Liam’s name. Liam turned around and his face fell. His jaw clenched as the man approached them. “Liam! There you are!” the elegantly-dressed man said, “I was looking for you for a while now, there is an important matter to attend to” he added. Liam’s eyes widened as the mysterious man silently nodded. “Of course!” Liam turned to Riley, “Riley, this is Justin, the bro--,” he stopped realizing what he was about to say and then quickly corrected himself, “my assistant, Justin, this is Riley, Amelia’s governess.” Riley and Justin shook hands. “Lady Riley, I must unfortunately leave you, can we continue the walk later?” “Yeah, sure. No worries.”

The men walked away and Riley only thought how Liam tensed up when he saw that man. And another assistant? Why would Liam need any assistants if that whole thing is just about solitude? Unless...Unless there’s something more to it. Riley looked in the direction of the castle and decided she needed to know what was happening there. First step, Liam’s study.

let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list!

#trr #trr au #the royal romance #the royal romance au #the royal romance fanfiction #drake walker #king liam #maxwell beaumont #hana lee #liam x mc #drake x mc #? x mc #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices fanfic #choices fanfiction

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mynotsosecretdiaries-blog · 6 years ago

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I got worse by the second...

Self Experience.

It all began when I had turned 10 years old. The first trigger was my period and my health never been the same since.

I would get mysterious pain on my stomach and constant nausea. There was never a day I would wake up without an upset stomach. I would have to threw up and then deal with diarrhea. It was tolerable at first since I would get it occasionally and I bounced back quickly. I would feel perfectly fine after each episode. However that was only one problem.

The other problem was my time of month. I would get excruciating pain from my stomach to my foot, back and hands. I could not even walk. Pain killers only took away 25% of the pain. The only peace I had was when I was sleeping and so I only slept for the entire day. This pain would last for two, at the most three, days and after I was healthy as a horse.

We (My parents and I) don’t know if it was a coincidence that I got sick just around the time my first got my period or that it was connected to it somehow. However I didn’t worry about it since I was okay afterwards. Since I was fine and didn’t really care, my parents also brush it off because I kept telling them I was fine, I was okay and nothing was wrong. To be honest, I did feel okay so I didn’t feel the need to worry them unnecessarily.

This lasted for some years until one of the worst nights of my life.

My watch alarmed signalling it was midnight. I sighed. I twisted and turned. I groaned in frustration. I was nauseous and unable to sleep. Suddenly a feeling of discomfort overcome my stomach. I curled up in a child’s pose and began to take deep breaths. In my head I kept praying and saying “please not now”.

You see at this point I had gotten used to the agony I would get and this may sound weird but I could differentiate between my period pain and the other weird thing that has been happening to me and this is one of the weird ones. Although, in my head I knew it was the weird pain, something felt off.

It worsen by the second and so I got up and had to call my mum. I couldn’t have handled it by myself, I was trembling in pain. Hence one of the worst episodes of pain. It lasted till around 5 in the morning and normally it would be around an hour. This time it was 5 hours of pain, vomiting and dysentery and this wasn’t the only different thing. Usually I would bounce back quickly, this time I felt weak, drained, tired and very sick. At first we didn’t care much but still was very worried. We were right to be, I got worse by the second.

We decided it was time to visit a doctor. Honestly we went by so many I could hardly remember them all. I’ll only state the main ones. So the first set of doctors we went by they all told me the same thing. “There’s a virus going around, you must have gotten it. Don’t worry, here take these and you will be fine.” In my head I was like, There had been a virus going around 365 days a year now. That was the first year of my health deterioration. Endless doctors diagnosing me with some virus and medication took over my life.

Coming into the second year, we went by another doctor once again. This doctor for once told us something different. He said that I was lactose intolerant, that milk could be the cause because of all the processing and chemicals that are placed into the milk before it reaches the cartons. So we stopped all diary. This did help...for a little while and it was back to square one again. At this point I had done so many tests, blood, urine, stool and now probably the biggest test I did. It may sound all that scary but to me I was terrified.

We were recommended to a doctor by one of my teachers at school. The doctor was about 2 hours away from where I live considering traffic. We went and she told us that she needs to see inside my stomach. I was alright fine thinking it was a ultrasound. Boy, did I thought wrong. She said we needed to place a camera down your throat to see inside your stomach, it is called a endoscopy and a camera in another place I refuse to speak of to see your lungs and that is called your colonoscopy. As much as I didn’t wanted to, I had no choice and so the test was done. I asked to be asleep because there was no way on earth was I going to stay awake through that.

After the test now. The results were, I was indeed lactose intolerant and also there was a gap in my stomach where acid is seeping through and that being the reason why I was nauseous the whole time. Despite all of this and new medication, I didn’t get better.

At this time my father was really interested into car music, he wanted to make a sound system for his enjoyment only for our car. He met this person who was going to make a battery for his car and just so happens that same person also happens to be a family doctor. Upon learning about this, my parents informed him of my health and he told them to bring me in his office.

Now this was the start of my healing journey. This doctor was the only one who actually listen to us and really thought about my symptoms. He said for my period problem I might have PCOS. PCOS is polycystic ovary syndrome and it affects everyone differently. We checked and it was that and that was one case solved. Unto the other problem, firstly he wanted me to do a blood test to check if my thyroids are low because that could be partially the cause for my illness. Low and behold my thyroids were dangerously low so that was another discovery made and he began treating for that.

However he still suspected me of having a gut problem and needed to do more research to pin point the exact issue. Meanwhile he took me off all of my previous medication. It turns out too many different types of medication is very bad for your health and that could have also been a reason why I was getting worse. He started me with a pro-biotic tablet to restore some good bacteria in me and some vitamins c and d because let me tell you I was lacking alot in that area.

Not only that, he told me that I need to go on a diet of no gluten, diary and soy. Basically treat me like a baby, let me heal and then one by one introduce back proper food in my life and see what agrees with me. This was probably the most hardest thing I ever had to. I could only eat provisions but no potato. Imagine that! But as much as I hated this, I have to admit, it did help. In less than a month I was atleast 50% better and kept improving.

There was only one problem but we didn’t really care to pay attention to it since we were so focused on me getting better and that was what was wrong with me? What was the reason I was sick?

Then one day my mum and dad was shopping in the grocery for my gluten free food where they met up with a lady. Her daughter was also ill, she had similar symptoms to me and her daughter had lupus. My parents and I knew I didn’t have that but we still wanted to know. The lady had referred us to their doctor. At first we didn’t bother to go until one night I had a relapse. It was the first time in a short while I ever felt like that. Just when I thought I would never have to feel that pain ever again. Life is quite funny huh?

So we decided to pay that doctor a visit. Now let me tell you, that was the absolutely the rudest doctor I ever had met. Despite his attitude, I am still wondering how he even got his degree. He told us that the only solution is to operate on me. Cut me open. Why you may ask? Well I am wondering to. When we asked why, he said, you want to find the problem don’t you? Basically what this sorry excuse for a doctor wanted to do was to cut me open to look for something he, himself don’t even know about.

After that day, I got another relapse and my parents were talking. Honestly we weren’t exactly financially stable, doctors took alot of money and so does medication and this food diet I am on. My dad told my mum that they should take whatever little money they had left and do the operation. At-least then they can find the problem and take care of it and it will all be over.

Luckily it didn’t get to that. This is where the real healing began. My dad is a mechanic and he has his own garage at home. He goes by this place to buy parts and one day the owner who doesn’t even know anything about our lives told my dad that he got problems. Now that haunted my dad that for a while he avoided buying parts there. The next time he went the owner said to come to his church Christ Our Banner Ministries, he said to come three times and decide if you want to stay. Every time my dad and mum would go, the owner would leave his business and come to talk to mum in the car. So just to get him off our backs we said we would go.

The very next Sunday we all got dressed but I got sick again and only my dad and sister was able to go as my mum had to stay with me. My dad came home literally a new person. He said the moment he step into that church he felt like all the weight has left his shoulders. The next Sunday I made it my mission to go and I walked out of that church healed.

Since Pastor prayed for me on that alter, I knew it. I knew I will never be the sick girl ever again. Now I have no pain whatsoever. I can eat anything even diary. I am literally a new person and it just wonderful and I am forever thankful because Jesus healed me. I feel incredibly lucky to receive such a miracle and it is just so amazing. My family and I are happy now and are in peace, all given by our savior.

From then to now, we have been baptized, my mum converted from a Hindu to Christian. My dad was already baptized but over the years had strayed, now he is renewed. My sister and I were only dedicated but now fully baptized in the Lord’s name.

This is not obviously the whole story, there’s alot more detail, unfortunately I really can’t remember them much and there more aspects to this other than the being sick part. If you have any questions at all or even your own story to tell please feel free to and also your thoughts. I would love to hear what you would have to say.

- Adina Gordon

#sick #hospitalized #doctors #pain #self experience #truth #life #lifestory #blog #post #healing #miracle #saved #agony #illness #suffering #diet #health #mystory #worry #sickness

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