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lisinfleur · 5 years ago

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Surprise, surprise!

Hey guys!

This month I saved this sweet surprise for you all. Believe me, it was a surprise for me as well. I never thought it could happen someday and to have this content to offer you guys is really something impressive and almost unbelievable to me.

I have been working hard on edits and fictions all this time to provide the events from the "Uncrowned King's Thursday" to the "5 Crowns Weekend" and, somehow, it filled my life with joy, so add this small interview as a part of this event - especially for THIS prince you all know is my favorite haha - is something very special and a huge gift. Maybe the hugest a fan could ever get from its idol.

Well, let me stop the rounds and rounds and tell you what this surprise is all about: dear David Lindström agreed in answering some questions for me to publish here, for you guys!

We all know our sweet bardic prince launched on July 12 the first single of his album to come, a beautiful song named "Autumn". If you didn't hear it yet, you're losing a hit! However, I didn't lose time and pre-saved my single and my chance to have this amazing content for you guys!

Enjoy!

Image source: Instagram (@dalindstrom, credits to the owner)

Me: First of all, and once again, thank you for this amazing opportunity! Considering this small article will be published in an event about Sigurd, I would like to start with a few questions related to him if you allow me. Would you mind telling us a bit of what was the meaning of this character in your life as an actor? How did it contribute to your professional career, acting style, and personal life?

David: My pleasure! Obviously, the role of Sigurd has been extremely important for my career, giving me exposure and resources that I would otherwise never have had at this point which in turn has made possible almost everything I do today. But it was actually the process around getting the role that impacted me the most personally and that has affected the way I approach acting, music, and life in general. Here’s the story: When I got to the open audition for the sons of Ragnar at 07:30 in Stockholm there was already a line outside the building with 200 giant dudes in a Ragnar mohawk, each and every one having about as much mass in their beards as I had in my entire body at that point. I realized that I was never going to get the job by competing with these guys on who’s the biggest, baddest warrior so if I were going to do this at all I’d have to take a different approach. I had the belief that even in the Viking age not everyone could have been the giant beasts that we associate them with, so what if I could present a character that was a little more sensitive, slender and insecure? Even better, what about a Viking in his awkward teenage phase, gradually growing into the legend he would later be known as? I took a shot and was told from the start that I was unlikely to get the part, but there was something interesting in my interpretation so I was still brought back repeatedly up until the final audition in Ireland. At this point, I was auditioning both for the role of Sigurd and Ivar, with the latter having a flamboyance and hubris that was suppressed in Sigurd. When all was done Travis Fimmel and Alexander Ludwig came into the room for a group shot, during which I awkwardly waved to the camera and was promptly called out by Travis and told that I could forget landing the role. I’ll admit that I believed him, and part of me would continue to believe him all the way through filming and even long after. But what was so special about the whole thing was that from the very first second I was put in a situation where I was forced to believe that I had something unique to bring to the table, if I didn’t go all in on embracing my differences I could as well forget it. So, whereas I’d never normally trust my instincts and go out on a limb that way, when that became the only option, I had a chance to see for myself that it can be worth it. Ever since, I try my best to remember how hopeless it all seemed until it suddenly worked out, and that no matter how inferior and incompetent we feel at times, it’s our unique combination of flaws that make us valuable, exciting and irreplaceable.

Me: We’re a large community of Vikings fans, passionate about the series, their actors, and everything related to the world your talent helped to bring for us. This community embraces the characters with such love, that many of us write fictions about the series, giving our beloved characters what we think they should achieve or deserved. How it is it for you to know there are such fanfictions and that - in a great number of them - Sigurd was described with a different ending, where his life followed the curse of history and he became a king, or he found love, had children, etc.? How does it feel for you to know so many people wanted a better life and a sweet ending for your character?

David: It’s incredibly humbling to see the passion and investment that so many of you put into the character’s fate. It’s a hard feeling to describe, but it’s sort of just the reassurance of having a whole bunch of great artists on your side. Even though the reason behind Sigurd’s fate has been somewhat explained to me, I can’t honestly say that it’s a decision that I really agree with. Of course, Hirst does a job writing the show that I can’t imagine many others could, and it’s crucial for a good story that the writer’s vision takes precedence over the actors getting what they want. That said, it’s obviously no question that I personally would have wanted more time to release what I’d built up, and for Sigurd’s coming of age-arch to be completed. When I was told what was going to happen, I actually felt I had to get involved with making suggestions to Hirst for the remaining scenes to get some sort of closure, which can be seen in Sigurd being noticeably more proactive and confrontational towards the end. The fact that so many in the community seem to have similar ideas and feelings on the subject means more than you’d really believe. Still, we should never underestimate the impact that a story can get out of an uncompleted pattern, maybe it’s better that Sigurd left us wanting more rather than outliving our interest for him. But there’s so much good writing in the community that I wouldn’t be surprised if some of it became a great screenplay of its own.

Me: Despite the huge project Vikings represented for us or the fact that many of us came to know you because of Sigurd, you worked in different projects on Swedish television, theatre, and other fields. Would you mind talking about some of these projects for us? Something you recommend for your new fans?

David: I’d love to! The part I’m proudest of is probably Simon in the TV series “Blue Eyes”. It was my first major professional role and I was overjoyed to receive such a well written, complexly human character that I felt really fit my style. The filming was also incredibly fun, I was warmly welcomed into the business and had great guidance from a number of caring directors and while I was personally going through a major heartbreak at the time, I had the opportunity to make use of those emotions and grow both artistically and personally. The series itself is a great political drama that mirrors the ideological situation that much of the world was dealing with at the time in a way that I thought was both insightful and thrilling.

Image source: Google Images (credits to the owner)

Me: Now, speaking of your present life, you changed your focus from acting to your musician self, now gifting us with this amazing work that's your soon-to-come album. What is the meaning of this project to your life as an artist?

David: I’ve probably always seen myself as a musician more than anything else, and although acting has been another one of my favourite things since long before I got paid for it, my go-to source of expression has always been music. I’ve loved sharing musical ideas with my close friends and processing life through song writing, and few things have been as exciting as finding someone willing to give my stuff a listen. Landing a record deal like the one I have means the sudden realization of so much that had only been fantasy before, and it’s been surreal to see this imagined world take shape. But that’s still something I’ve had more than a year to prepare for. What I could never prepare for was the reception we’ve had so far. I know that I tend to not expect things to go very well, but even when I allowed myself to dream big, I thought that it would take Autumn a year to get where it’s now at after a month. It’s once again the feeling of being surrounded by incredible people giving incredible support, and there’s nothing quite as uplifting as the feeling of being in such good company.

Me: I'm a writer myself. And to compose my text works, I usually have some sources of inspiration like listening to some specific musicians and music styles, reading books related to the work I want to compose, etc. What are your inspiration sources when composing your songs?

David: Of course, my main source of influence is other music, and that would mostly be my favourite artists such as anything Julian Casablancas, Muse, Kent, MGMT and Lars Winnerbäck, as well as the classical music of Chopin, Liszt and Rachmaninoff. I love anything with great lyrics or big melodies. I’m also lucky enough to live with one of the most creative people I know, so I always run my ideas past her when I’m stuck or unsure, but the ideas can really come from anywhere. If I come across a story, place, picture or anything that resonates with me it usually has something special when it comes to structure, dynamics or flavor that I can try to apply on what I’m working on, so I find that really just living life and being aware of the world around me gives me more than enough input without having to actively pursue it. However, if I’m working towards a deadline, I find it most effective to take an idea that I already like and either jam with it or elaborate on it until it’s become something else. In either case it’s important to remember that the majority of creative work is just finding out what doesn’t work, so no effort is ever really wasted. I sometimes task myself with writing 10 songs that I think are shit, because even if I’m right 90% of the time that will still leave me with a good one.

Image source: Spotify (Autumn, 2019)

Me: Dayfelice. At the pre saving of your album's first single "Autumn", we saw the album was signed "by Dayfelice". I already know this is a new artistic name, but how did you come up with the idea and what’s the meaning of this name you chose, in your personal view?

David: It’s a stylized version of my first names “David Felix”. When I make music, I try to liberate it from trends or expectations when it comes to genre and sound, and to end up in a space where the song’s emotion, narrative, and imagery can really shape it without limits. So, most of the songs are very different from each other, but they center around an emotional, cinematic larger-than-life style, and I wanted to signal that with an artist name that had a romantic, elevated feel without saying too much else. Something that could be either a band or an artist of any gender, as well as something that just sounds good.

Me: I’ll never be tired to thank you for this amazing moment! Would you like to leave a message to the fan community of Tumblr and Vikings' fans that will reach this work?

David: I know it's cliché, but I genuinely just want to thank you all for your amazing support. I want you to know that I see your comments, I read your messages and it truly means a lot be surrounded by such a smart, progressive and kind community. Stay awesome and take care of each other.

Well, that's it, guys! The apex of what a fan could get and one more of the thousands of reasons why David became one of my favorite artists in this world: his sweetness and kindness towards his fans is admirable such as his talent and beautiful work. A complete artist bringing to us not only our sweet and beloved prince Sigurd but also lots of amazing works and new songs for us to enjoy!

Thank you one more time for your gentleness, dear David, and for you guys, thank you for bringing me the courage to go there and get this for us! I hope

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liugeaux · 5 years ago

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Linkin Park - Albums Ranked

I’ve written about Linkin Park before. It was following the death of Chester Bennington and mostly covered my mixed emotions about death. I’ve never really talked about how much I truly love the band’s work. Its been over 2 years since Chester passed and I think I‘m finally ready to dive back into the LP catalog whole-hog. As a young 17-year-old when Hybrid Theory came out I was the right age to fall in love with everything LP was doing. Their first two albums, the unreleased debut EP and the remix collection Reanimated were permanent fixtures in my CD case. It was a time of angry white guy music and LP were literally the best at the craft.

I’ve followed them VERY closely ever since and have always had strong opinions about each one of their albums. It's finally time to sit down, seriously critique each one and give my definitive ranking of LP’s LPs. For this list, we won’t include the aforementioned EP or any remix albums or live releases. I also won’t be including any of the many LP Underground CDs. As fun as those releases are, there are only 7 albums that actually matter. Here they are ranked from 7 to 1.

#7 - The Hunting Party

After a couple of experimental albums, 2014′s The Hunting Party was seen as Linkin Park’s conscious effort to make a heavier, more metal record. While technically they succeeded, the results were mixed at best. Much of the metal feels forced and sometimes awkward. The lead single “Guilty All the Same” stands alone as the worst lead single in the band’s catalog. Not to say its all bad, “All For Nothing” is a legit classic and an example of LP’s strength as a “metal” act. Ultimately, It’s a gutsy album that falls flat more often than not.

#6 - Living Things

Back when Living Things was released I wanted to like it so badly. The lead single “Burn It Down” was reminiscent of the LP sound of earlier albums and “Lost in the Echo” really resonated with me. However, they had not shed the more experimental ideas adopted on their previous album. The result was a half-hearted experiment that couldn’t seem to commit to a direction. If you were to tell me Living Things is a collection of trashed B-sides from the previous 2 albums, I would completely believe you. Even when I revisit the album I’m left with a feeling of disappointment because it could have been so good.

#5 - One More Light

One More Light gets a bad wrap. Is it a pop album? Yes. Does that bother me? No! Should it bother you? Absolutely not! After The Hunting Party, this is exactly the album Linkin Park needed. It’s their most emotional work since Minutes to Midnight and track to track the album is immensely therapeutic. Despite most of the lyrics being your typical sad LP affair, there’s an underlying joy to the whole project. Like the band finally felt unburdened by their reputation and was making the music they wanted to make. "Sorry For Now” even sees Shinoda and Bennington pseudo swapping the rapper/singer roles. It’s really the first album where Shinoda’s singing feels natural. I’m not saying I wanted to see a new career direction, with LP making pop albums for a decade, but for that moment in time and taking into consideration the devastating events following its release, One More Light might be the perfect album.

#4 - A Thousand Suns

A Thousand Suns was LP’s first big shake-up of the established formula. The standard Rap/Rock ingredients are technically there, but it’s wrapped in a sonic chaos of future-like abience and anchored by samples from speeches by notable historical figures like J. Robert Oppenheimer and Martin Luther King Jr. It’s a concept album that aggressively strays from anything you’ve ever heard before. To this day I’ve never heard a band steal the style and sound of A Thousand Suns, and while the rest of the LP library can be reductively placed in a “tracks that sound like the 00′s” box, A Thousand Suns stands as evidence that the band is more talented and interesting than you think. This is LP’s Ziggy Stardust, 2112, or American Idiot. It may not be their best album, but it’s absolutely their coolest. Oh, and “Waiting for the End” slaps harder than any other song in their catalog.

#3 - Meteora

Meteora had the difficult task of following up one of the most successful and influential rock albums of the new century and for the most part, it did a wonderful job of maintaining the established sound of Hybrid Theory while stretching its legs in relatively predictable directions. “Faint”, “Lying From You”, “Figure 9″ and “Numb” remain some of my favorite LP tracks. Meteora is the best representation of who LP was at the height of their reign. The sound is unmistakable and the songs are iconic. Any band would love to have an album as good as Meteora, and LP has at least 3 of them. If Hybrid Theory is the equivalent to the first time you’d ever eaten street tacos, Meteora is an entire buffet of Mexican cuisine.

#2 - Hybrid Theory

I put more time into ranking numbers 2 and 3 than I’m willing to admit. Both of them completely took over my CD player when released and both had a large hand in shaping a portion of my emotional growth. Hybrid Theory was edgy, it was cool, it was smarter than its contemporaries and with its laser-sharp production, it commanded respect. Sure, was it angry white-dude music? Yes, but the anger and aggression came from points of weakness and believable vulnerability. I connected with Hybrid Theory so much, that 20 years later I find it hard to even speak critically of it. Its flaws are features, its signs of age help ground my own personal growth. Speaking on a personal level, Hybrid Theory MIGHT be my album of the decade. So to try and place it into the context of a ranked list is nearly impossible. Un-luckily Chester Bennington’s death helped lock in the top three of this list in ways I would have never predicted.

#1 - Minutes to Midnight

By 2007 I was all-in, LP was MY band. When Minutes to Midnight was released I was first-in-line buying the ultra-special edition. Unfortunately at the time I just didn’t get. Like, I owned it, I just didn’t GET IT. Musically it was the next logical step in the evolution of the band and Rick Ross’ looser somewhat dirty production was a welcomed departure from the more polished Don Gilmore albums. However, for the first 10 years after its release, I thought of Minutes to Midnight as a bit of a disappointment. It’s probably 2 tracks too long, Shinoda’s singing was a bit off-putting and unlike its predecessors, it didn’t feel cohesive. Sure “What I’ve Done”, “Given Up” and “No More Sorrow” were and are some of the biggest and best anthems the band has ever recorded, Outside of that the album just felt hollow.

In 2017 Chester Bennington ended his own life. At that point, my love for Linkin Park was still alive, but my interest in them had waned a bit. Chester’s death sent me into a music-hole like I had never experienced before. For weeks all I listened to was LP’s albums back to back. Chester’s words meant more than ever and out of that deep dive came an appreciation for Minute to Midnight I could never see coming. Songs like “Leave Out All the Rest”, “Shadow of the Day”, “Bleed it Out” and “The Little Things Give You Away” came to life with an emotional vibrancy I had never seen before. LP is at their best when they are swinging for the fences and Minutes to Midnight is them hitting grand slam after grand slam, with a few strikeouts sprinkled in. It’s flawed and beautiful, and that’s kinda the point. It’s LP’s most personal and human album, and that’s why it's at the top of this list. Prior to my 2017 revelation, it might have hovered somewhere between #’s 2 and 4, but in 2020 Minutes to Midnight is #1 with a bullet.

#linkin park #Mike Shinoda #Chester Bennington #minutes to midnight #hybrid theory #meteora #the hunting party #a thousand suns #one more light #living things #ranked

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rvnjun · 6 years ago

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nct 2018 reacts | their idol crush gets made fun of by an mc

warnings: idk if this is a warning but the reader gets made fun of for their looks sometimes genre: angst but all fluffy paring: nct x fem!reader a/n: I didn't add gifs because i'm lazy and my computer crashes when I try adding more than 9 gifs to a post

taeil

Taeil would be playing with his hands, he was very nervous, it wasn't easy being on the same show as the person you've been crushing on forever. His ears would perk up when he heard your name mentioned. “You look like a frog trying to walk on two legs,” the mc said while watching your dancing. Immediately he felt his heart drop. He looked at your expression and felt his anger boil, it was obvious that you were hurt. “Hey, dancing isn't easy, you should try it,” Taeil spoke quietly while looking at his hands. He looked up to see you smiling brightly at him

taeyong

“How can a leader be so quiet and reserved? Shouldn't it be you to peak up and not your members?” the host asked after another membered explained the album and not you. “Well actually during comebacks someone gets assigned to remember what to say about the album, its not always the leader,” Taeyong defended. He could tell you seemed hurt and he didn't like seeing his biggest crush offended. The host nodded in response, he didn't expect Taeyong to defended you like that, he was intimidated. Once the camera were off you'd go over and thank him for sticking up for you.

johnny

“I literally didn't know that you were in this comeback. Where were you in the mv and where are your lines?” the host asked while looking at you. Truth be told, you didn't know why you didn't get many lines nor why you didn't have much screen time. “I really don't know,” you mumbled while looking at the water bottle in front of you. Johnny nodded his head, he knew what it was like to work so hard for something and have it still be out of your reach. The hosts laughed “Apparently there is something very wrong with you,” he said while trying to move on to the next topic. Johnny rolled his eyes, he placed a reassuring hand over yours and gave you a calming smile. “Don't listen to him, okay? Even though you don't have many lines this comeback you shine brighter than your members,” he encouraged. You nodded your head and tried to calm your beating heart. Johnny's words really helped you and you made sure that you needed to hank him the next time you saw him

yuta

“If we are talking about looks here than Y/N is definitely at the bottom,” the mc said while laughing along with the others. Your eyes widened, you were surprised to hear his words. Yuta was too, he had always had a crush on you and thought of you as the most beautiful women he had ever met. “No, Y/N would be at the top,” Yuta corrected while sending the mc a deathly glare. You giggled and sent a smirk over to mc. Yuta couldn't help but laugh at your new found confidence

ten

Your Korean wasn't the best and you'd be the first person to admit it. Despite knowing about your lack of Korean speaking skills you didn't like being made fun of for them. However making fun of your speaking seemed to be what every host did, it was their favorite thing. Ten had noticed this, throughout the entirety of filming the host would reoccurringly laugh at how you said things or when you forgot a word. By the end of filming Ten noticed that you weren't speaking as much, he would feel extremely bad so he approached you and said. “Y/N dont listen to them, its not easy learning another language. I bet none of them can speak 2 languages (or more).” You smiled at his words, he had a point. “Thanks, Ten,” you said with a charming smile. Ten would nod and decide to help you for the rest of filming, he didnt care if the fans noticed

doyoung

“And you are the main vocalist? How in the world did that happen?” the host asked after listening to you singing your favorite song on your new album. You were clearly taken back by his statement, you had been called a terrible vocalist before but always by angi fans, never by a host. “And you are the main host? How in the world did that happen?” Doyoung sasssed back while sending the host a glare. You giggled at him causing his heart to flutter. The host simply looked at the floor and burned red in embarrassment while everyone laughed at him

kun

Kun was standing next to you while your members talked about your new song and the highlight parts. He was already extremely nervous because of this comeback and being next to his crush made his nerves 10x worse. “I keep forgetting your not a 6 membered group and that there is 7 of you,” the host said while gesturing to you. You had taken a hiatus because of health problems and this was your first comeback back. Kun couldn't control his expression, his faced formed into confusion before it went to pure anger. Once the camera were off and you guys were leaving Kun leaned over and whispered in your ear “Don't listen to him Y/N. Sometimes I forget you aren't a solo artist because you shine so much compared to your members,” he winked at you before walking away. You brought your hand up to your heart and tried to control its rapid beating

jaehyun

Jaehyun awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck while the host started asking questions about his personal life. When his ideal type was mentioned the host brought up if any of the other girls on the show matched his ideal type. Truthfully, he wanted to answer yes and mention you but of course he knew that he couldn't do that. “Well I can tell you this, it isnt Y/N,” the host added while making everyone laugh except for you and Jaehyun. Jaehyun could tell from your expression that you were hurt, being made fun of for your looks was a recurring thing for you on variety shows. “Actually, I was going to say Y/N is the closest person to my ideal type,” he said making your cheeks turn crimson

winwin

Winwin didn't know what to say or do, all he knew was that he wanted to stick up for you. He looked at the hosts before choosing to not speak up yet and instead say something later. Once the filming was over you were mentally and physically exhausted. “Y/N? Id like to apologize for not sticking up for you earlier, I should have said something,” he said with an apologetic smile. You shook your head “Its okay Winwin, im glad you said something now,” you said making him feel much better, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “Uh, here is my number. Call if you need anything,” Winwin said before rushing away to his managers

jungwoo

Jungwoo took a bite of the ice cream and continued to walk with a skip in his step. Today was a good day, the sun was shining, he got ice cream, and he was able to film a show with his idol crush. “You know Y/N, I wouldn't eat on camera if I were you, you look like a donkey,” the mc said while they changed the cameras out. “Oh,,,okay,” you said while tossing the cone away. You felt sick to your stomach, why hasn't someone told you the truth before.”Y/N,” Jungwoo mumbled while walking next to you. You looked away, embarrassed to be called a donkey while in the presence of Jungwoo. “Don't listen to him, you look perfectly fine, stunning actually,” he said with a cheeky grin. You giggled at his words and thank him. Jungwoo placed a short but sweet kiss on your cheek

lucas

You followed close behind Lucas, he tall stature and broad shoulders helped shield you from the harsh winds. He had told you to stay behind him, that he could lead the way back and you felt bad. You wanted to be able to help out more but you were already sick due to the lack of food and the freezing rain. Byungman had insisted that you and Lucas go and find some wood but what eh didn't realize that a huge storm was going to hit. Now you two were stuck in it while trying to get back to base camp. After what felt like hours you were completely worn out, and it was noticeable. Your fever had raised and you kept coughing. Once you got back Lucas was beyond worried for you “Y/N you're so useless right now and you're literally the ugliest thing i've ever seen,” one of the guests on the show said while laughing. Lucas scrunched his face up in confusion “She is sick, id like to see you try and walk 2 miles in this storm while sick. I think she still looks beautiful,” Lcas said while giving yo a soft smile.

mark

“Y/N you look like a lifeless corpse,” the host said with a laugh while pointing at your makeupless face. You looked at him with wide eyes and hid yourself behind your hands. “Im sorry, let me go apply my makeup,” you said while turning around and returning to your room. “Y/N I think you look even more stunning, if that's possible,” he smoothly flirted without realizing. The hosts were surprised by his words, just like you. “Oh my, thank you Mark,” you giggled while removing your hands from your face with a new found confidence causing Mark to smile proudly.

renjun

You sat in the chair and played with your fingers while you waited to be called back on set. Biting your lip you did your best to hide back the tears but it was really hard. No one liked getting made fun of for their looks, especially not in front of their crush. You looked up and wiped your tears when you heard someone in front of you cough. “Hey Y/N,” Renjun said while he looked down at you. “Hello Renjun,” you simply said before looking back down. You tried to hold them back but they kept falling.”Y/N don't listen to them, you're a beautiful girl, there literally isnt a single flaw on you,” Renjuns words took you by surprise. You looked up at him with light pink cheeks. Renun sighed and cupped your face in his hands before wiping your tears with his thumb. “I mean it”

jeno

Jeno held the microphone tighter than usual, his eyes were burning holes into the camera and his poster was picture perfect. “Y/N, you read the wrong line, who invited you to be the guess mc?” the other mc asked while staring at you. Jeno furrowed his eyebrows and looked over at you. You lightly laughed and tried to keep a smile. Once the camera were off you rushed away so you could cry. “Y/N!” Jeno called out while reaching for your hand. You stopped in your tracks and looked at him with a wry smile. “Don't listen to him, you did great,” he said sending an eruption of butterflies in your stomach

haechan

Haechan scoffed at the hosts joke. “Its not cool to make fun of someone for something they cant control,” he said while sending him a sharp glare. The host looked back at Haechan “What did you just say to me?” he asked, testing the younger boy. “I said dont make fun of someone for something they cant control,” Haechan snapped back. You watched from Haechan side with a glint in your eyes. No one had ever stuck up for you like that. “Thank you haechan, I mean it,” you mumbled to him before leaning up and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Haechan watched in awe as you walked ahead, his hand went up to the spot where your lips once were and he beamed

jaemin

You yelped slightly as you slipped on the floor, your hand reached out for something to hold onto so you wouldn't fall. Grabbing Jaemins forearm tightly you caught your balance. You sent Jaemin an apologetic smile, he had been helping you out all day. “Wow Y/N, dont you think Jaemin is tired of taking care of you, its like he is babysitting,” the host started to laugh at his own joke, others joined in. You stopped and looked over at him. Jaemin didnt mind taking care of you, you were his biggest crush and he liked having you cling to him. “Please dont put words in my mouth, I dont mind it at all,” he said with giving you a soft smile

chenle

The host stared at your beat red face, you were in the middle of trying to think of a reply but couldn't come up with anything. Instead you opted to sutter out a incomprehensible “yes.” The host rolled his eyes at you before looking at the producer “Why did you invite her, she can't even answer a simple question. How are you a idol?” he tried to play it off as funny but you were very much hurt by it. You knew you were shy and awkward and you did your best to get over it. “I think her shyness makes her even more cuter,” Chenle piped up out of nowhere. You sent Chenle a thankful smile, no one had ever stuck up for you like that, especially not a cute boy

jisung

Jisung watched in awe as your body moved to the beat perfectly, he was completely mesmerized by your dancing. Once you were done you smiled proudly, you had noticed the way Jisung was looking at you and it made you feel all giddy inside. “And you call yourself a dancer?” the mc asked while giving you a sharp stare. Jisungs eyes widened, he didnt even know what came over him when he spoke “No offense but she is the most amazing dancer id ever seen.” Once Jisung realized what he said he glanced over at you and saw you giving him the biggest heart eyes he had ever seen, he put his hand up to his mouth and tried to hide his growing smile

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untildawnremus · 7 years ago

Text

The Art of Falling in Love

Pairing: Young!Sirius x Reader

Requests: Hello, can I please request sirius black imagine where gryffindor reader meets big black dog and has no idea it's sirius, and she pets him and sees him everyday and she paints this dog and marauders (including siris) see the painting in her sketchbook, reader tells them about this dog and they smirk knowingly. after some time she finds out who the dog is by accident, you decide the ending, sorry if it's too specific ❤ - Anonymous

: Can you please write an imagine with the gryffindor reader being close to all the Marauders boys? not a lot of writers really make enough friendship instances with the marauders and can it be heavy on Sirius tho? - Anonymous

A/N: I personally love Art so this was a lot of fun to write. Also THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO OFFERED ME THEIR FRIENDSHIP. I LOVE YOU ALL.

Word Count: 3.6k (I had too much fun)

Art has many forms. There wasn’t a time in your life that didn’t involve art and your love for it. The art of music plays like the melodies coming from your muggle father’s guitar or the myriad of photographs hung around the walls and kept in albums by your mother. You were exposed to almost all forms of art as you grew up and they never faded from you.

“What about this one (Y/n)? What’s it called?” Peter asked, holding one of your smaller canvases in his hand. It had your repainted version of the ‘Birth of Venus’ by Sandro Botticelli.

“I believe it’s called ‘Naked and Afraid’, Wormtail.” James commented, patting the smaller boy on the back and shared a smirk with his other friend, Sirius.

They had begun calling each other some odd nicknames just a few weeks ago. Neither you or your other companions could understand the meaning behind them and the four refused to give you an explanation. In the end, you figured it was all some inside joke.

“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” You rolled your eyes, taking the painting and placing it back on it’s stand. “You have no respect for the art of painting and the renaissance.”

“I think your work is beautiful.” Sirius said, picking up one of your collections of sketchbooks from the top of your dresser.

“Do you now?” You took a step towards him, leaning over his shoulder. He was busy admiring your doodles of the castle you’d often drawn when you were bored. As an artist, you’d never really considered your art picture perfect. There were always some flaws.

“Exquisite masterpiece, darling.” He laughed, pointing at the drawing of himself. A smirk made it’s way on the boy’s face at his portrait.

The day you decided to draw him was the day he realized how much he fell for you, with your sharp eyes attempting to study his feature as you furrowed your brows trying to sketch his face. You’d bite your lip as you carefully made the curve of his own. He did the best he could to show you of his feelings—with humorous and flirtatious comments layered over one of love.

“Figured you would say that, you narcissist.” You laughed, ruffling his shaggy black hair.

“Is this a repainting of the ‘School of Athens’ but in Hogwarts?” Remus asked from the other side of the room to which you were quick to answer as you sauntered over to him, leaving Sirius to browse through your sketch books alone.

Not long before his grey eyes that were scanning the strokes of charcoal but now of you as you shared a smile with Remus from across the room. He watched as you pointed something in disgust that he would guess is another “flaw” you had made. Sirius smiled to himself before James slid his way next to him.

“If I were you, I’d go for it before she slips away.” The Potter boy said, giving his friend an encouraging nudge.

“Yeah, because you’d have a better chance of not being rejected.” Sirius remarked, sarcastically.

“You know there are a million other girls, Padfoot.” James looks back at you as you laughed at something Remus had said. Your eyes crinkling in the cutest way possible that mad Sirius’ stomach flip.

“But there’s only one girl like her.” He finished, eyes never leaving the sight of your happy state.

Sirius couldn’t understand why he did what he did. He knew it was wrong. Yet he did it anyway. A few days after you had given your four mischievous friends permission to look through your “gallery” as they would say (which was basically just your dorm room that your roommates were kind enough to let you decorate with your art work). You found yourself outside the castle, resting against the wood of a large tree that on the softest bed of grass. Your leg was crossed over the other, your leather bound sketchbook laying down on your lap. One of the reasons why you loved the time of Spring were the changes of nature. The blooming of flowers in their iridescent manner.

“Hogwarts...Hogwarts...Hoggy Watty Hogwarts....” Humming the tune of the school hymn for no reason at all, you began to outline the small patch of lilies that fully grown just a few fee away from where you sat.

From afar, Sirius’ gray eyes had been focused on you for over fifteen minutes. He had told his friends he had some unfinished business with his little brother, Regulus but that was all a lie just to be alone with you...or alone by himself while observing you that is. He didn’t consider his action as stalking you, more of protecting you if there was anything to happen, at least that’s what he told himself over and over.

The calm atmosphere had prompted you ponder over the current events of your life. Your younger sibling would be attending Hogwarts next year and your parents were ever so subtly debating whether or not they’d end up in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. Friends like the four boys you’d grown to love were slowly becoming your family, brothers you’d never expect to have. However, you always thought that one over the other three would hopefully be something more than just a friend.

Sirius was without a doubt one of the most attractive boys in your year alone. Other girls tried to catch his attention but none of them seemed to stand out to him—as he had told you countless times before. It did give you a small pint of hope over the collumn of a little school girl crush.

Just as you had magically twisted your pencil into a self-inking quill, a thick wooden stick had been dropped to your side. Curiously, you turned from the stick to the sky, assuming a squirrel might have caused it to fall. But then a shaggy black furred canine made it’s way over to you in a pounce like manner.

“Hi there...” You smiled, eyes still squinted in confusion but your hand made it’s way to the dog’s head. There wasn’t any sign of the animal being the dangerous, he was calm if not happy so to say, his black tail wagging in excitement.

“You’re a good dog, aren’t you?” You cooed, scratching the back of his ear then moving to rub his belly once he rolled over. “I don’t remember Hagrid having another dog.”

You were certain Hagrid only had Fang (Who is currently no larger than a quaffle at the moment) and you knew that pup was Boarhound and not a German shepherd. The dog didn’t have a collar of any sort that would aid you in finding his owner of even know the canine’s name. He must’ve been a stray.

“Must be hard not having a name.” You told him. if he wasn’t do adorable, you’d call yourself insane for talking to it. The hound bumped his nose onto your still opened sketchpad, his face clumsily moving the pages until he decided to stop on a certain page that the famous four boys sketched in black ink.

“Those are my friends.” Pointing you each boy, you stated their names. “That’s Peter, he’s kind of the shy type of guy unless he’s told to do something bad then he shows his wild side.”

You pointed to the one with a faint scars, smiling. “This one’s Remus. He’s insanely sweet and charming. Although, i do wonder where he gets the scars from. He said he’d tell me one day.”

When you turned to the dog, his mouth had twitched, almost as if it were smirking.

“The one next to him is James. Bit of an oddball that one, Leader of this little foursome, head over heels for my friend Lily but I know she’s starting to like him too.”

James would be jumping for joy if Sirius told him this, but he knew he couldn’t in case you’d both get suspicious on how he knew.

“This one right here though is Sirius Black.” You grinned, eyeing your own work at the pretty boy. “He’s kinda the second-hand man as I’d say. Causes havoc too many times for me to count. Kinda reckless too and irresponsible no doubt.”

Sirius began to bow his head in shame at your words, until his small head shot up at the sound of you giggling softly.

“But he makes me laugh nonetheless.” You lifted your hand to pet the hound’s fur once more, smiling in content. “I just wish...”

The boy—well dog held on to your words only to watch you sigh and shake your head. You couldn’t admit to yourself that you liked the guy as much as any other girl but even telling a dog that probably couldn’t understand what you were saying seemed to difficult to pursue.

“Never mind.” Sirius slumped his body, pushing his face more onto your hand to urge you one but you only shook your head once more. You turned the page of your drawing of a random girl with a parasol.

“This one is inspired by one of my favorite artists.” You said with enthusiasm. “Claude Monet’s style has always been my favorite. I actually never told anyone that. I even have an unfinished portrait in my dorm of one of his paintings.”

The dog stared at you only to glance back at the drawing before him. You continued to go through the pages until the sky turned dark causing you to frown. “I’m sorry, furball but I best be heading back to my dorm. Wouldn’t want to get into any trouble.”

Closing your book shut, you dusted off the dirt from beneath your skirt and bent down to be in the same level as the black German shepherd. “You should head home now, if you have one. I’d take you in but Hogwarts doesn’t allow dogs in the castle and I wouldn’t want to force Hagrid to watch over you.”

“Just try to find some place safe, okay?” You rubbed the dog’s head one last time before you stood up but he was quick to give your cheek a quick lick before you did. A laugh escaped your lips as you turned back to head inside the castle. “Bye now...”

Sirius sat on the grass, still an animagus, watching you walk towards the steps of the castle and your (Y/h/c) hair disappearing into the cobbled building. He had a weird feeling in his stomach. He kissed your cheek, as a dog but still, it was a kiss. It felt wrong to deceive you like that. Truth is, he didn’t mean to but something just came over him. A side of him told him it was okay as long as you’d never know, continue to make you smile like he did moments before. But another told him he shouldn’t do it again.

He promised he wouldn’t

And that was the biggest lie he ever told himself.

The week that followed consisted of the same routine from you. After classes you’d go outside and draw while the sun was still shining upon the spring landscape. Everyday, you’d draw something new for everyday you had a different muse. And everyday, that black dog just came back to the same spot you were always on. It didn’t bother you one bit that he found comfort in your presence and company but you knew you couldn’t keep him or anything. When the time comes, you’d have to leave Hogwarts and never see him for a while and your parents wouldn’t let you own a dog. Your father was allergic to dog fur.

Sirius hated himself for sticking around but at the same time he loved himself for doing so.

There’d be a time when you’d play fetch all afternoon and start chasing each other around the area but today you both seemed to be after relaxation. Your was almost finished with only a single page left before you’d have to purchase another. It was a motivation to draw more in the day plus James made a bet to get you a new one if you filled it up by the end of the month.

“I bet you can’t even finish a whole hundred pages sketchbook in less than three weeks.” James said, crossing his arms with a boyish smile.

“Is that a challenge?” You rose your brow, mischievously.

“Don’t do it.” Remus advised the Potter boy but to no avail. James held out his hand, confidently smiling your way as you set your deal in stone.

You had no clue what to draw of next, the flowers around you were beautiful but none were brand new or stood out. Snuffles, as you secretly called the canine in your head was sleeping soundly on top of your lap. You held your sketch book in one hand and a paintbrush on the other. Remus had aided you in bewitching the brush to spurt out any color you wished, however there wasn’t anything you could paint at the moment.

Your eyes dropped to the black furball that was in deep slumber on your lap, his body curled ever so slightly close to your body. With lips tugged into a shy smirk, your switch to using your quill and began your next masterpiece.

“James!” You called in a sing-song voice entering his dorm room shared with his three other companions. Their fifth roommate always stayed away from the room which was one of the smartest decisions ever made in your opinion.

“To what do we owe the pleasure, (Y/n)?” James grinned, placing an arm over your shoulders, catching the attention of the other three boys. Sirius watched from his bed with the same grin.

“You, Mr. Potter owe me a new sketchbook.” You beamed proudly, watching his sly face turn into confusion.

“That’s a whole lot of crap.” He said before grabbing your sketchbook from your hands. He flipped through them, eyes widened in shock. “That has to be a record. It’s only been what? A week since you got this one”

“I love art, Potter.” You placed one hand on your hip and the other outstretched before him. “Now pay up.”

“Do I have to?” He groaned.

“A deals a deal, Prongs.” Peter sang from his place by the desk.

“I advised you not to challenge her.” Remus quipped not raising his head from his potions book.

“You know you’re just fueling her artistic flames.” Sirius laughed, sliding out of his bed to stand beside you.

“Fine.” The boy caved. “I’ll get you a new one this week.”

Sirius watched your face fill with delight, causing his own to do the same. If only he could just tell you how much he fancied you, but his fear of rejection always dominated his mind one way or another. James tossed your sketchbook over to Peter, knowing full well he’d be the first one to look through it anyway. They both began to scan your new art works, pointing out weird shapes and creating voices for the others.

“Did you draw me recently?” He asked, leaning on the wall beside you. “You can’t expect me to think you’d drawn a hundred pages without my darling face in it.”

“Darling face?” in your opinion, he did have a darling, handsome, beautiful face but he didn’t need to know that. You had a knack for hiding your emotions. “I’m guessing you haven’t looked at the mirror recently?”

“You think so poorly of me.” His boyish grin made you weak at the knees. You heart fluttering at the way his eyes were boring into yours.

“Is there a reason for me not to?”

Remus joined the two other marauders as not to bother you and Sirius. They’ll have enough time to tease the boy about it later on. The three of them shared a smile when they saw the drawing you made of the four of them together but instantly had their eyes wide at the last page of your artwork.

They glanced at the other with knowing looks before calling out to you. “Say (Y/n), didn’t know you had a dog.” This caught both yours and Sirius’ attention, turning away from each other to see the three smirking faces from the other marauders.

“What do you mean?” James turned the book to reveal your portrait of Snuffles sleeping soundly. Sirius inhaled a deep breath at the sight of the black dog. He hadn’t known you’d drawn him. He just assumed you just let him stick around as your company.

“Oh he’s not my dog.” You told them. “I found him- well more of he found me by the field just a top of the hill across the castle. He didn’t have a name tag or anything.”

“Yeah, we know this dog.” Peter stated, earning a glare from Sirius who stood behind you.

“You do?” If you weren’t so interested in the thought of finding the canine a home, you would have seen the playful look in their eyes as they nodded.

“Oh yeah.” James continued. “He’s a real rascal. Seen him causing all sorts of trouble back in Hogsmeade one time.”

“Did he try to bother you? We heard it enjoyed bothering some students once in a while.” Remus said, grinning at his dark haired friend.

“Well, I wouldn’t consider it bothering...”

Sirius shook his head not wishing to be in the same room at the moment.

“He just kinda appeared out of nowhere and kept me company. Although he was a bit playful but he was very entertaining the whole week.”

“You spent an entire week with it?” Peter laughed along with the others.

“You know, (Y/n)...that dog is actually—”

“—alright that’s enough.” Sirius butted in, taking the sketchbook from James’ hands and returning it to its rightful owner. “(Y/n) should be finishing her new Claude Monet painting.”

You smiled at him. “Yeah, I guess I should...” Your voice trailed off, giving him a confused look. “How’d you know that was in progress? I don’t remember telling any of you about it.”

And at that moment, Sirius knew he screwed up. “I um...well...”

“I think it’s best if we leave you two alone, ain’t that right boys?” James and Peter agreed with Remus’ suggestion and swiftly left the two of you alone in their messy dorm room.

“Sirius, how do you know about my painting?” You asked once more. “Have you been spying on me?”

“What? No! Well, not exactly.” He mumbled over his words, eyes glued to the floor refusing to look you in the eyes.

“Just tell me, Padfoot.” You took a step closer, bending down trying to catch his gaze. “We don’t keep secrets from each other.”

With his fist clenched tightly into a fist, Sirius took in a deep breath. He prayed you wouldn’t get mad and end your friendship. God know that’s what hurts even more than rejection.

“I’m an animagus.” He stated monotonously, his eyes checking yours to see if you had understood but only saw confusion painted over your features.

“Okay...what does that have to do with...” You gave him a once-over, taking another step closer at the taller boy. Only now did it make sense and barely above a whisper, you said. “You were that dog, weren’t you?”

“That’s why your named Padfoot.” You continued, your lips tugging into a smile. “Are all of you animagi? Why didn’t you tell me? Is that why you all have weird nicknames I couldn’t understand?”

Sirius was shocked to find your excitement filling the room, he watched your eyes twinkle in delight as you rambled. He shook his head, placing his hand on your shoulders to calm you down. You were definitely different compared to other girls. “You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? This is amazing. How’d you even turn yourselves into an animagus? Isn’t that illegal for our age?”

He scratched the nape of his neck awkwardly. “Moony isn’t really an animagus but it isn’t really my place to tell so...yeah...”

Despite the fact that you’ve been happy over the news, there was still a deep pain deep in his stomach. It may or may not have been the time to tell you but there really wasn’t the right time.

“Also...I’m sorry for interrupting your drawing time as a dog.” He said, staring at you intently. “I uh didn’t know what came over me.”

“Sirius, it’s quite alright.” You placed your sketchbook on their desk before turning back to him. “It was actually a lot of fun hanging out with you as a dog. Although, I don’t know why you did it, I would have joined your company either way.”

“(Y/n)...I like you.” Sirius admitted out of nowhere. His eyes went wide at his own confession checking to see your reaction.

You tilted your head and grinned from ear to ear. “I like you too, Sirius.”

“No, I don’t mean it like that.” He said, taking your hands in his and kept his eyes on them. “I meant I like you as more than friends and I always have. You’re just so beautiful and kind and...”

You used one of your hands to lift his chin up to see him properly. With your heart pounding and stomach churning, you leaned forward. “I never said I did like you back as a friend.”

This made the boy’s own heart do flips at your words. You both stared lovingly at each other switching from your eyes to your lips as his free hand went to caress the side of your cheek. Your lips were millimeters apart until the door burst open to reveal your friends who had been eavesdropping, topple over each other.

“Did you kiss her yet?” Peter lifted his head earning a sigh from both of you but smiling anyway.

The greatest artist spent years upon years of finding their calling and their muse and you certainly didn’t think you’d find yours in a matter of five years.

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thebandcampdiaries · 6 years ago

Photo

Trouble’s Afoot - Looking For Parking

A combination of various alternative and indie influences, converging in a very special way.

Trouble’s Afoot is a music project that was conceived by Jordan Cooper, a musician based in Queens, NY. Jordan has a special fondness for indie rock, folk, and other styles, making for an incredibly diverse attitude. Now, the project is actually a 3-piece band, which means there is more room for different sounds and textures! The line-up consists of Jordan Cooper (lead vocals, guitars, and multiple other instruments), as well as Dave Fox (Bass, backing vocals, some guitar) and Christopher Roberts (Drums). The group has a really unique sense of chemistry, and together, these 3 guys are able to combine many different styles. From alt-rock to indie, to pop-rock, anything goes!

“Looking For Parking” features 12 tracks, each blurring the lines between various genres and definitions. In fact, one of the most notable aspects of this particular release is definitely the sheer sonic variety that you will encounter on this here record. The opening song, “A Boy My Age” is a short track (clocking in at under two minutes). After a quirky acoustic intro, the band chimes in at full blast!

“You Say But You Don’t Know” follows with a really infectious guitar riff. This song makes me think of some of the best early British Invasion bands, including The Kinks and The Who (well, before they turned into 70s stadium rock gods!)

The third song on the album is named “Sarah Made A Serenade”, and it has a really cool alt-rock / post-punk vibe, with catchy guitar melodies and great vocal lines. This one precedes “Every Right Hand,” another song under 2 minutes, which packs a lot of energy, in spite of the small footprint! The song leads to “Don’t Be An Idiot.” The attitude of this song is just as upfront as its title, with memorable melodies and great hooks that won’t get out of your mind so easily. This has a cool punk-garage attitude that makes me think of early Cloud Nothings or Wavves!

“And I’m Gone” has a really cool 60s vibe - this song really makes me think of some early Rolling Stones or The Byrds, with a really organic sound and cool vocal arrangements that match the music to perfection.

Coming next is “All I Ever Wanted,” a song with a personal set of lyrics. This is a song about looking for a change - about wanting to overcome one’s backgrounds and “get out,” hopefully somewhere better. “Cellar” is a song that sort of makes me think of Nirvana, not much so for the sound, but for the intriguing lyrics - I like the child-like energy of the wordplay, and somehow the receptiveness of the later motif really works on favor of this track!

“I Care About You” is the classic boy-meets-girl song. This is a very earnest love song, which reminds me of the way I felt when I was a teenager, struggling to really share my feelings and go talk to the girl I had a crush on! Ultimately, this is a very sweet song, with a really cool arrangement and a nice vocal performance to liven it up.

“The Usual Way” is a really edgy track, which immediately strikes for the catchy melodies and a great intro that makes the main chunk of the song even more enticing!

“Everyone Believes Me” is one of the most poignant tracks on the record, and perhaps one of my favorite ones. I love the combination of quality music and good lyrics, and I can definitely relate to the sense of inevitability of life’s end in loneliness, really exposed in the last two lines of this track: “Like all of you, I’m Lined up to die / No one’s ever on my side.”

Last, but decidedly not least, “Dust Town” is a perfect curtain closer for this release. It brings the record full circle, and it really goes a long way, with a poignant and direct arrangement. This song could almost be a lyrical “Cousin” to “All I Ever Wanted” because the themes definitely intersect!

All in all, I’ve really enjoyed the sound and feel of this release! This album has a fresh, young sound, yet it has a tone that reminds me of some of my best records from the 60s, and from the early punk bands of the late 70s as well! In addition to that, this album also makes me think about some of my favorite modern indie groups, such as Cloud Nothings, Courtney Barnett and legends like The Strokes and Arctic Monkeys.

Find out more about Trouble’s Afoot and do not miss out on this project. You can listen to “Looking For Parking” directly through Bandcamp at the following link:

https://troublesafoot.bandcamp.com

We also had the chance to ask the band a few questions: keep reading to learn more!

I love how you manage to render your tracks so personal and organic. Does the melody come first, or do you focus on the lyrics the most?

I’m a songwriter and my songs were written on keyboard and guitar. Sometimes I write lyrics and the melody kind of forms in my head as I sing them to myself, sometimes I find an interesting chord progression and then work a melody onto that, that’s how You Say But You Don’t Know was written.

My drummer took care of the beat. I could not even tell you what he’s doing!

Do you perform live? If so, do you feel more comfortable on a stage or within the walls of the recording studio?

Answer: I stopped performing live regularly around 5 years ago; I find it a stressful endeavor, though I still like to do it once in a while. Being on stage is incredibly uncomfortable, and being in the walls of a recording studio is also uncomfortable. Being on stage is exciting though, sometimes euphorically so, and being in a recording studio is artistically fulfilling (you feel like you’re working on something special, at least when things are going well.) That being said, the hourly cost of a recording studio assures that you can’t feel too comfortable in one.

I’m probably most comfortable in my bedroom studio, but that environment leads to a lot of laziness and procrastination, whereas recordings from a recording studio have a certain urgency and focus to them.

If you could only pick one song to make a “first impression” on a new listener, which song would you pick and why?

Answer: I Care About You. I struggle to find a flaw in it. It rocks my brains. I love my vocal performance (a rare thing for me to admit to), I love how revved up and energetic the band is, I think the mix holds together the most, and I’m really proud of the lyrics. I also love that I put in a recording of my bass player yelling “YYYEAAAHHH!” at the very end. Easy to miss, though.

What does it take to be “innovative” in music?

Answer: I think more about this in a lyrical sense than on the music side of things. It still amazes me to hear songs on the radio with lyrics YOU’VE HEARD 1,000 TIMES BEFORE. I will not let a song out into the world until I’m reasonably sure no one has heard these words sung before. And to do that, I think of specific things from my life that no one else could possibly know about (see: A Boy My Age) or have said already, and hint at them in the lyrics. I do wonder, however, if the general public is concerned with this stuff, considering who the popular artists are these days.

Any upcoming release or tour your way?

Answer: I’d love to go on tour but I don’t know how to do it! And I can’t afford it! It’s 2018, how can anybody? But I do have exciting new releases coming out very soon. My musical project with my girlfriend, Kristen Gudsnuk, which is called “Sally,” has a three-song EP finished up, which will be released shortly on our Bandcamp page and streaming everywhere. It was made in fancy, fancy studios and sounds like a million bucks!

The next Trouble’s Afoot release is already being worked on, it’s a sort of sequel to Looking For Parking, culled from the same drums and bass sessions of that album (12 more songs.) A little darker, a little more focused too. After that, the 3rd Trouble’s Afoot album, made mostly in my bedroom, is called Party Guy, and is a concept album about having a bad time at parties. It’s the most ambitious, exciting music I’ve ever done. It’s actually almost complete, but my gut tells me it’s a perfect “3rd album” instead of a 2nd one.

Anywhere online where curious fans can listen to your music and find out more about you?

Answer: Oh, you bet. My two Trouble’s Afoot home-bases are Bandcamp and Soundcloud. My Bandcamp has all of my official complete albums (including a children’s album I made a long time ago!), but my Soundcloud is full of live songs, demos, instrumentals, etc. It’s exciting!

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/troubles-afoot

Bandcamp: https://troublesafoot.bandcamp.com/music

My main website is www.jordancoopermusic.com, if you are in need of songwriting or composer services. I’ve done music for The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, and countless Youtube shows, podcasts, etc.!

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colllapsingstarr-blog · 6 years ago

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giant panic reclist (organized by ship)

So, I organized everything by ship because you never know what people are into, and I read pretty much anything and everything I can get my hands on that’s long. This is a fanfiction reclist for Panic! at the Disco fics only. Will I ever address other bands? Perhaps. Everything’s below the break.

Note: I have not read every Panic! fic in existence. Cut me some slack here if your absolute favorite isn’t on this list, and if it’s NOT please send it to me, I’d love to read it!

I’ll be including poly ships in the next list, because this list is long enough as it is. If I were to add poly ships, we’d be here all day.

Let’s start with the popular ones, shall we?

Format: Title by Author (click for story) | Rating, Word count, Author’s summary | Personal thoughts

If a link is broken/incorrect, please let me know. That stuff’s embarrassing.

Fics may or may not require an AO3 login (as I have an account, so I don’t know which are locked and which aren’t). Any fics hosted on LiveJournal (noted with a * at the start of the title) do not require a login, as far as I’m aware, because I don’t have a LiveJournal.

Ryden

- Sense of Touch by pressdbtwnpages | G, 5434, Brendon and Ryan turn into otters, but that's just the beginning of the problem. | It’s been a while since I’ve read this story (I did, once upon a time.) I don’t remember much, but this is pretty much absolutely hilarious.

- Just One of the Girls by skoosiepants | T, 20830, "Spence, I'm. Look, I'm going to prove this girl-thing to you, okay? I'm going to," he held up his hands, "this is so brilliant, I'm going to become a girl." | I actually really enjoyed this fic. It was interesting to see all the different interactions, and the way that it actually sort of all comes together in the end.

- for other meanings of tsunami by jocondite | T, 36352, On the Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour, Brendon comes up with a brilliant, brilliant plan to get regular orgasms without resorting to the palpitating groupies Zack disapproves of. Sure, he's never thought of himself as gay, but blowjobs know no gender, and if Ryan's willing, why the hell not? The path to true Nirvana is anything but smooth, though, and a lot of bad sex later, Brendon figures a few things out. | This speaks for itself, I’m pretty sure. This is a reclist. I’m soft for long fics.

- You Will Know The Difference When I Touch You by two_waymirror | E, 5348, It wasn’t a gay thing at first. Well, it was possible that Brendon had a tiny little crush on Ryan, but it was a buried thing in the back of his still-half-Mormon brain, emerging very slowly. | Not as long as most of my favorites, but still well-written.

- A Light On a Hill by rubblerousing | T, 17918, My greatest flaw is that I keep a running list of eight separate sentences that I, at one point in my life, have spoken aloud and which could have, maybe, possibly, embodied within them the reason Ryan Ross has decided to hate me. Some people’s greatest flaws are their overly prominent features. Some people would tell me my greatest flaw should be my overly prominent features. My friends would say my greatest flaw is that I am too outspoken; people who are under the delusion they are my friends but in actuality are not would say my greatest flaw is that I am too reserved. Maybe it’s the other way around. If I were a better person and could admit I probably very dearly ought to be under the watchful eye of a psychiatrist, because I have some kind of obsession with thinking about things too much, and with keeping lists, then my psychiatrist would say my greatest flaws are cowardice, being unable to move on from the past, an addiction to adulation, keeping lists, and perhaps Ryan Ross, if I ever got around to mentioning him. | I’m not a big fan of first person POV fics in general, no matter if it’s in irl books or in fanfiction, but here it just...works? I don’t know. Read it for yourself.

- Anyone Else But You by zarah5 | M, 67238, College AU. Panic never formed at high school. Instead, they meet at college, and in between striking up a friendship with his working colleague Spencer and trying to ensure that his roommate Jon doesn’t get sick of him, in between forming a band and writing songs, Brendon would really appreciate it if his bandmate (and Spencer’s best friend) Ryan Ross didn’t turn out to be Brendon’s TA. Especially considering their fling just before the start of the term. | You may or may not have read this already. This fic is worth rereading, though.

- Leaving Without Moving by northern | E, 29874, "I'm not trying to embarrass you or anything here. But seriously, I'm just trying to make things clear - what you want is to be my own personal little toy, is that it? You want to be my pet in the... pet sense?" “Not if you're not interested," Ryan gritted out, hot with shame. "You can stop making fun of me now. That was fucking hard to say." He rested his head on his arms, feeling weak and slightly nauseated with how his stomach was churning. | Not a fan of vampire AUs, ordinarily. I’m okay with blood, but for some reason vampire AUs aren’t my thing. However, I was willing to make an exception for this fic and I’m glad I did, because even though it isn’t my normal pick of AU, it’s really well-written.

- A tendency to wear hearts on sleeves by kyasuriin | G, 1758, A guitar is perhaps not something that friends, even bandmates, get for each other. Brendon just hopes Ryan won't notice the way his heart is practically falling off his sleeve. | Um. Don’t have much to say on this one?

- The Heart Rate of a Mouse by arctic_grey | Not including stats | Well-known. Don’t need to say anything. Loved this fic.

- Oh Doctor Doctor by softlyforgotten | E, 17269, It was just that on his first day in the oncology department of the hospital six years ago, he'd been introduced to Dr Ryan Ross, Head Surgeon, and fallen stupidly and irrevocably in love with him, and that, apparently, was that. (A hospital AU.) | The title reminds me of Razia’s Shadow, so when I saw this it was an instant click. Love how this fic isn’t just about the relationship (despite the implications of the summary); there’s more to it.

- *Back To The Place by behindthec | E, around 93000, Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't. | I have. No words for this fic. It is just that good. I know that the primary site for fanfiction is AO3, and a lot of fics are cross-posted (I tried to find what I could on AO3, because on some I have the LJ version bookmarked), but consider trying out a different format for reading. It’s a little annoying, but this fic makes it so worth it.

- *Ryan Ross: Wedding Planner (What We Do Is Love) by adellyna | M, Unknown, Ryan plans weddings! Just not gay weddings. Ok, maybe just this once. | Hilarious one-shot. Like. This is serious fic, but also very, very funny.

- *just this once, be my savior by sinuous_curve and insunshine | E, around 32k, In which Ryan has a daughter, Brendon has a nephew and somehow, they manage to fall in love. | Kid!fic.

Brallon

Doing this reclist made me realize exactly how few fics I read with just this pairing. I normally read the two of them with someone else in a poly ‘ship, but not the two of them by themselves? (send me some. please)

(I actually have read one I liked, but I’m too lazy to dig it up. The title was something in French, I think.)

Brencer

This pairing is a hard preference over most other pairings. I just. Like it a lot.

There are probably more fics on this list than there are in any other ship I include on this list.

- There Should Be A Name For Something Like This by skoosiepants | T, 3777, It was the best idea Brendon had ever had, ever. | Sometimes I read things because they’re long and have a good summary, and other times I just want a laugh. This is one of those fics.

- Supersaturation by skoosiepants | T, 15017, Brendon's a little in love with Lieutenant Spencer Smith. And not, like, fifteen-year-old girl love, either, but the kind of love where his chest hurts and he wants to be around him constantly and he wants into his pants, and okay. It pretty much sounds like fifteen-year-old girl love, but it's not, no matter what Ryan says. Spencer is just. Pretty. And competent and, okay, the sidearm is totally sexy. He didn't think he'd ever go for that, but the handling of it, his hands, really, and the thigh holster? Makes Brendon want to lick him. A lot. | Not linking the whole series because I’ve only read the first two. Crossover with Stargate Atlantis, but I have absolutely no knowledge of that fandom, and I was perfectly fine.

- Certain Coasts Set Apart by skoosiepants | T, 15327, It was easier to get lost on the Virginian coast than Spencer thought it would be. | This is one of two Spencer-ends-up-isolated-from-Panic!fics that I love. Both of their plots are actually caused by similar catalysts, surprisingly.

- Anywhere You Let It Go by skoosiepants | T, 21211, "Okay, this is what I've figured out so far. I'm stuck in some sort of hell that looks vaguely like a Sandra Bullock movie." | Brencer is sort of a side pairing, but I’m still considering it because it drives the plot and isn’t just an aside for the main character (Patrick).

- the Sweater Vests series by disarm_d | E, 15709, (first work summary) Spencer can't believe himself for trying something like this. He can't believe that he'd risk his friendship with Brendon, his friendships with everyone else if Brendon decided to tell, his place in the school if Brendon caused enough fuss. Except that when Brendon's tongue brushes over his lower lip, it's easier to understand why. | British boarding school AU! Angst! Hurty, but in the good way.

- Towns Flying By by jocondite | T, 3976, Brendon is very much in love with the van. He draws a ragged row of little black hearts on the back door, just above where some girl in some town had scrawled her phone number. He loves it right up until the heat cuts out somewhere in the middle of Colorado that first November. (Cuddling for warmth). | Cute fluff.

- The Way It Is Now by skoosiepants | T, 5790, He ponders on how exactly to phrase his question. Finally, he sends, is spencer dying andor eating babies | This author is on this reclist a lot? Maybe, but they write excellent fic.

- The Magic Friend Band by skoosiepants | T, 9408, The totally true story of how Spencer Smith joined Patrick & Brendon's Magic Friend Band. | This author actually writes really funny stories. They’re enjoyable, but also have an underlying thread of seriousness.

- Once Upon a Time’s Only Fiction When Tomorrow Becomes Today by rossetti | E, 13344, The year Virginia Dale Wentz turns five her parents die in an accident aboard a chartered day-boat to Catalina. | Under Brencer because that’s endgame. Ryan/Spencer is a thing but only as friends with benefits. Kid!fic. Always adorable.

- In the Sirocco by sevenfists | M, 12241, A story about hypnosis, God, marijuana, and true love. | There are two hypnotism stories on this list. This is the more angsty one.

- Panic! at the Barn-Raising series by vixalicious | T, 20895, (first work) Um. They're Amish. | Sort of ridiculous but really also quite good.

- Tell me to stop by AirgiodSLV | E, 29335, “You have no idea what you’re doing, okay?” Ryan says in exasperation, blowing out a huffy breath. “I’m just saying. I think…I might know a guy.” | Warning: kink fic. I might be ace and don’t get off on it, but I can still appreciate it for what it is.

- But you can’t be missed by elenor_lavish | E, 20664, "No, I mean. It's like you haven't aged a single day." Ryan steals another glance, and Brendon looks uncomfortably out the window. The back streets of Vegas look a lot like he remembers them. The cars in the driveways aren't really different, people are still dressed the same, dragging their trash to the sidewalk in their pajamas. No one's in some sort of space-age suit or wearing a video visor, or walking a robotic dog. If Brendon was going to be dropped unceremoniously into the future without his consent, there could at least be robotic dogs. | Time travel fic! Um. This one is sort of weird, but it’s also really good.

- The Sweet Spot by vixalicious | T (though I think it’s closer to M), 14872, "Responsibility" should be Spencer Smith's middle name (except it's James). After all, not many people would sacrifice their lives to run the family bakery and raise their twin sisters. But now the girls are grown, and Spencer has to learn to put his own needs first! And Brendon, the Sweet Spot's newest regular, might just be what Spencer's looking for. But will Brendon's past get in the way of their present? | I’m pretty sure this was for the LJ challenge harlequin_bands, and it shows, but I’m into those tropes, so it’s all good.

- All In The Way That You Trip by skoosiepants | M, 22199, “I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, and he looks – Brendon shudders – he looks like he wants Brendon to stay quiet, like he’s just itching to take Brendon apart and maybe put him back together wrong. “Where is Ryan?” | I initially read this fic on LJ, so when I found out that it was also hosted on AO3, I was like: huh? But: secret agent!Spencer is a concept I can get behind.

- Personal Affairs by zarah5 | M, 31094, Office AU. When Spencer Smith is put in charge of planning some legal aspects of a top secret, rather spectacular take-over of another company, he quickly falls into an e-mail sort-of-flirtation with his colleague at another site, Brendon Urie. But when Brendon actually visits New York and Spencer for a face-to-face meeting, Spencer withdraws because how do you handle it when someone you exchanged countless e-mails with turns out to be just as hot as you imagined? | I am NOT qualified to make a reclist where I give my own thoughts, okay? This fic was really good, albeit the conflict was superficial.

- Only Unto Him by disarm_d | E, 25837, As a Prince(ish person), Spencer was meant to be pure in every way. He didn't know what to expect from an arranged marriage — but certainly not Brendon's incessant grabby hands. Who did this bouncy, mysterious stranger think he was? AND ARE SEXY TIMEZ EVER GOING TO HAPPEN? [Hint: it is quite likely they are.] | This fic is great. This was another one I originally read on LJ, but I reread it on AO3, so. You don’t lose anything from the switch between platforms, and for me it’s easier to read it all in one place (so I always turn on read full work on AO3 instead of chapter by chapter, so theoretically I can read it all in one sitting.)

- Stranger In This Town by seratonation | E, 11427, It was an idyllic sort of life. He had a secure job, a substantial paycheck, and a loving husband. And yet, Spencer felt tired. He felt numb, like everything around him was fading, or maybe it was the other way around, and he was the one who was fading. | I have Not seen the movie this is based on, but most fics that are based off of other things you don’t need knowledge of it for.

- If You’re Listening, Sing It Back by blackbird | E, 10079, If sometimes he ends up in the men's room with another guy pressed up against the door, that's no one else's business. Until one morning, by accident, it is. | I recently reread this fic, and most of the fics I’ve read are just as good on the reread.

- Closer by tigs | T, 1725, It feels different when, the moment Ryan sees them, he slams to a halt and says, "Shhh! We don't want to interrupt Spence and Brendon's cuddle time!" | Cuddle time! Accidental relationships!

- Into This Dream by (an orphaned account) | E, 28417, He's my best friend. I wish I could have been his. | I really understand Brendon in this fic. Wanting someone to be as close of friends with someone as you are with them is familiar to me, so Brendon’s decisions make a little more sense. (But I’m aromantic! So there is no romantic interest in my friends. So similar, but not completely the same.)

- And I’d Be Your Memory by tigs | Unrated, 8383, And somehow, midway through the tour, the postcard collecting becomes known as Brendon’s thing. | This is a feel-good fic.

- The Estranged Governess by wildestranger | E, 33258, Brendon is a governess with a disgraced past, who comes to teach the young cousins of Sir Spencer Smith. Sir Spencer is amused by this bouncy young man, and finds himself paying far to much attention to Mr Boyd's secretive manner as well as to the way he fills his regrettably old and worn clothes . Furthermore, Sir Spencer's oldest friend, the dissolute Lord Ross, is trying to woo, unsuccessfully, his estate manager Mr Walker. despite the tumultuous passion between them, Mr Walker refuses to give in to Lord Ross's advances as long as Lord Ross refuses to admit that it is more than a tumble in the hey that he wants from Mr Walker. Fortunately, Walker is a patient man and willing to wait while Ross goes through his tantrums. To this entangled situation arrives Mr Wentz, a cousin of Sir Spencer and an old flame of Lord Ross. Mr Wentz is known for his debauched lifestyle and delights in causing mayhem - and he seems far too interested in Sir Spencer's new tutor. But will the lovers find a way? Will Brendon lose his flower and find healing through the magic of buttsex? Will Ryan learn to admit his feelings and finally convince Jon Walker to bed him? | For some reason I associate this fic with this GSF fic that will be later on this list.

- Sea Change by sunsetmog | M, 53895, After getting his heart broken, Spencer tries to start a new life without the band. | This is the other Spencer-leaves-Panic! fic on this list. This one’s a lot more angsty, but also really great.

- Lights Never Shine as Bright as in the Movies by Sena | E, 35251, Brendon Urie's a master's student in music at UNLV who happens to make porn on the side. Spencer Smith's a wilderness photographer who happens to really, really like the online porn Brendon makes. They meet and shenanigans ensue. Also featuring Shane Valdes as Brendon's roommate and owner of his very own online porn site, William Beckett as Las Vegas' bitchiest maitre 'd, Gabe Saporta as a mime waiter, Greta Salpeter as a harried and overworked assistant, and Ryan Ross as himself. | It’s a...lot more angsty than you might think it is based on the summary.

- This Kind of Experience is Necessary For Her Learning by sinuous_curve | E, 8867, High on his shoulder, just off the ridge of his shoulder blade, he has an oblong bruise sunk into his skin. It's bright, livid purple, ridged with a regular series of darker spots along the edge. Spencer has a moment of wondering whether he was the victim of a prank he's since forgotten about or if he got abducted by aliens or someshit. Then, in a rush, he remembers. | Kink story. Why is Brencer the ship where everyone writes the kink stories? Serious question.

- E-mail Ficcish: Ashlee Simpson, Girl Romance Detective by Elucreh | T, 1370, RACHEL: http://twitter.com/petewentz/statuses/8302818080 LU: OH MY GOD, PETE, I LOVE HOW MARRIED YOUR DOUBLE DATE COMPANIONS ARE RACHEL: This is clearly the fic where Ashlee thinks they ARE dating and there's a lot of awkward coughing and hemming and hawing when they try to explain that uh... actually no?(BUT OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE IN LOVE) | AAAAAAAA

- More Adventurous by fictionalaspect | E, 48831, Spencer wondered if everyone thought he and Brendon were dating. He wondered about the way Brendon was always so tactile with him, the effortless way Brendon sort of fell into Spencer's personal space like he belonged there. He wondered if it was weird that Brendon was sleeping in his bed, if maybe Jess had just misheard him and assumed they were sleeping together in Spencer's bed, like Spencer used to do with Ryan. It got to the point that he wasn't even paying attention to what was going on in the game, and thus was totally blindsided when a particularly impressive kick by Taylor Murphy caught Spencer squarely in the balls. "Motherfucker," Spencer swore, when he felt himself capable of forming words again. "Happens to the best of us," Mr. Davies said, clapping him firmly on the shoulder. The impact jarred his back and by extension Spencer's sore balls, and he squeaked in pain. "You'll be alright," Mr. Davies said. "Just keep your eye on the ball next time. And watch that language." "Sure," Spencer said, instead of what he wanted to say, which was "Fuck you, douchebag." Spencer didn't need his gym teacher's sympathy, he needed a fucking ice pack. | Panic! at the Disco’s origin story is seriously like a fanfiction. Seriously.

- The Name of this Thing is Not Love by fictionalaspect | E, 21912, "I'm telling you," Jon says, and clicks his tongue behind his teeth like a disappointed grandmother. "There's a whole other world out there, man. You need to expand your horizons a little." "That's nice," Spencer says. It gives him a weird jolt in his stomach, to hear Jon spell it out like that. "Thank you for your concern. My sexuality is fine, thanks. It doesn't need your sympathy or your support." "It might get you laid," Jon says. "I get laid," Spencer says. "Sometimes." "No, you don't," Jon says. "You think very hard about it, decide it isn't worth it, and then you go home and order Chinese." | This fic, for some reason, feels like part of an almost totally unrelated story written way earlier by a different author. Like. Seriously.

- When Life Gives You Lemons (Say F**k the Lemons and Bail) by fiddleyoumust | E, 26475, Brendon and Spencer go on a cruise to escape their problems. They end up finding more than rest and relaxation. | Stands on its own.

- Amateur Cartography by fictionalaspect | E, 42365, In the summer of 2008, Brendon’s still trying to figure everything out. He’s good at keeping his own secrets, but when a prank goes awry, he’s faced with the realization that Spencer has some secrets of his own. They end up stumbling backwards into a complicated relationship—one that definitely doesn’t include sex. Or does it? | Again, kink fic. There are a few more on this list, I think.

- Works Both Ways by rsadelle | M, 1255, "The mate bond works both ways." Mark seems to realize that no one knows what to say to that, and he looks over at Spencer. "Are we not supposed to say anything about that?" | Werewolf AU.

- The Amazing Tail of Brendon Boyd Urie by RedOrchid | T, 1977, For the prompt: Brendon/Spencer, born with a tail. Written for no-tags 2011 | I’m pretty sure this is crack.

- If Music Be The Food Of Love (I’ll Have The Veggie Burger) by sunsetmog | M, 42250, Oblivious High School Failboats in Love, or, Brendon Urie: The High School Years. | Seriously. Panic!’s origin is very much so like a fanfic.

- Love Makes People Do The Wacky (or: Brendon Urie and Jon Walker, Adventures in Bromance) by ohohstarryeyed | M, 10651, As far as Brendon is concerned, being in love with Spencer would fucking suck, if it weren't for Jon Walker. | The power of friendship!

- Thereafter You Have It (And Tango Makes Three) by sunsetmog | E, 89286, Baby!fic. As harriet_vane succinctly put it, the almost true story of how Brendon's an idiot, Spencer brings Brendon shiny rocks, and no one gets any sleep. Or, alternatively, the one in which Brendon accidentally gets a girl pregnant, decides he wants to be a dad, and pretends like he's not in love with Spencer. "Hey, baby girl," Brendon says, softly. He thinks he should have thought of something more profound to welcome his daughter in to the world. | Kid!fic is my weakness, okay?

- Do Rockstars Dream Of Electric Sheep? by themoononastick | M, 18229, Spencer has weird dreams, questions his sexuality and spends a lot of time hiding things away in boxes in his mind. | This one is...weird and sort of puts you in a daze. I don’t know, okay?

- Here At The Right Time by sunsetmog | E, 51477, How had he managed to get this far in life without realizing exactly what it was that turned him on? | More kink-based fic.

- Cute Girls (Just Wanna Have Fun) by LittleMousling | E, 36960, Brent may have tricked Ryan and Spencer into auditioning a girl guitarist, but there's no question that Brendon is the best they've seen. Soon enough she's their new best buddy, too, hanging out at Spencer's house almost as much as Ryan does. The band is finally coming together, and Spencer's starting to think they might really make it as musicians--if she can stop getting distracted by her hopeless crush on Brendon. | The third early-Panic!-retelling I have. (There might be more idk.)

- A Presumption of Functionality (A Gas-Light Romance) by sunsetmog | G, 44502, When a spy brings news that an old inventor might have the key to finally bringing the war with Napoleon to an end, Spencer Smith, Officer of His Majesty's War Office, is dispatched north to discover if there's anything to these tales of dirigibles and flying-craft. Instead of flying-craft, however, he finds a unusual, dilapidated house – and instead of an old inventor, he finds Brendon Urie, complete with his pet hedgehog. With Brendon's scientist grandfather missing, Spencer is left trying to protect Brendon, rescue his grandfather and ensure that the secrets of flying-craft remain out of enemy hands. Vaguely steampunk-y AU in which the Napoleonic Wars didn't end with the Battle of Waterloo in 1815, but instead carried on well into the next decade. | I’m weak for steampunk AUs.

- Graham Need Not Apply by Pennyplainknits | T, 10327, Spencer doesn't want to be just one in a string of drummers for Panic. He's trying his hardest not to be another Graham, which would be easier if someone would tell him exactly what it is that Graham did. Or: Spencer pines, Brendon is a brave little toaster, and Ryan Ross will cut you. | That last part is practically a summary of most Brencer fics.

- I’d Hate To See You Frown by oanja | T, 52114, One would think that agreeing to an arranged marriage would make Spencer unhappy, but in fact he has nothing against it. Spencer has never been one to waste his time imagining swooping romances for himself, so settling for something more pragmatic is fine by him - especially as it's so beneficial to the family business. What he did not account for was his best friend Ryan becoming entangled in a very unsuitable affair with a libertarian, or that he would find his new spouse so appealing. Trying to prevent Ryan from ruining his reputation while adjusting to married life is going to require a delicate touch, which is not something Spencer has ever been known for. | Regency AU.

- Call It Home series by sunsetmog and fictionalaspect | E, 45630, Brendon feels like the one fixed thing in his life, the one unchangeable constant that Spencer can rely on even when everything around him is going to shit. It just figures that Spencer's going to ruin that, too, when they get back to LA and he makes his move. | This series was supposedly going to have more installments (I saw this on LJ, too), but with the two stories it currently has, it still feels complete.

- A Troubling of Hummingbirds by jukeboxghost | E, 11407, "Man," says Spencer, articulately, but Brendon gets it, he does. Here they are, here for a few days with two rented surfboards held together by layer after layer of duct tape and surfwax, the sweet smell of pungently rotting kelp, even sweeter surf, fresh fish and smokin' BBQ and gentle dusk every night and it's so utterly indulgent. Brendon feels fucking, like, nourished, feels like his insides have been scrubbed clean and copper-bright with wire wool, like all the dust and detritus and loose, lost feelings have been swept neatly into the corner, pruned and weeded and spring-cleaned. He takes a huge breath in. "Fuck yeah," he says. | This fic is sort of weird and airy in the unsettling way, but it’s really well-written.

- Hold on Tight and Don’t Let Go by fiddleyoumust | T, 13975, In reality, Brent brings Brendon to practice and Spencer falls in love with him the moment he bounces through the door of Spencer's garage. | The Story of Panic!, as told by yet another author.

- Stop Breathe Count To Three by sunsetmog and I think fictionalaspect (but I’m not completely sure on that) | E, 14907, "So, it's a comfort thing. It's just a comfort thing. Sometimes Brendon likes to suck on Spencer's nipples, and Spencer likes to hold him there and stroke his hair. Nothing weird about that." Or: We're not sorry. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. | This one’s sort of weird, but that’s okay.

- White Houses series by boxparade | Unrated, 44628, The one where Brendon is a music major who works at a diner and Spencer is the culinary arts major who thinks he’s cute. Ryan is all philosophical and kinda creepy (duh) and Jon works for Spencer’s dad, who happens to be the President of the United States. | Fluffy.

- Don’t cut your hair (Do you think it’s going to make him change?) by harriet_vane | T, 38891, The original summary was: Set a little while in the future. The band takes a break and Brendon gets bored. Spencer goes with him. Now I suppose it would be "Set a little bit in a slightly nicer past, where Brendon and Spencer go on tour by themselves but it isn't the end of the band." | Haven’t read this one in a while. I need to reread it, but I remember it being good.

- Suppose We Never Ever by playfullips | M, 23111, After Haley breaks it off with Spencer, Brendon helps him get back on his feet. Time passes, and Spencer finds himself seeing Brendon in a different light. | A lot more angsty than you’d think?

- Interlinked by doctor_jalsey | T, 12784, A story about finding yourself in the most unusual way and new beginnings. Or conversely, a mildly steampunkish fic where Spencer doesn’t realize he’s dating Brendon. | Still weak for steampunk.

- Forever Together by eledhwenlin | E, 15232, Spencer was taken by the phouka when he was only eight years old. He has grown up in their world and considers himself part of their community. But when Brendon and Spencer fall in love, they face serious ramifications ... and the only solution is to brave the human world together on their own, if they don't want to give up their love. | Fantasy is my favorite genre, mostly taken out on real books.

- I Wish I Could Remember You by sunsetmog | T, 8411, Spencer wakes up in the hospital after a surfing accident, and can't remember the last three years of his life. The doctors tell him his amnesia is likely to only be temporary, but in the meantime, Spencer can't remember the house he shares with Brendon, their dog, or how long they've been dating. Because--they are dating, right? | Not much to say on this one.

- The Heart of Lonesome Sky by heartsdesire456 | E, 30609, When Brendon Urie arrives at Rusty Creek, a ranch town so small the saloon doesn't even have a name, all he knows is that the man he was sent to marry was named Spencer Smith. At first glance, Brendon can't understand why a man as handsome and well established as Spencer Smith would need a mail-order groom when he should have been able to get any eligible man or woman in Rusty Creek. Through awkwardness, acceptance, and eventually belonging, Brendon has a chance to eventually learn the heart of the man who brought him to Lonesome Sky ranch. | Historical AUs!

- Autocorrect Says I Longview You But I Say I Love You by Count_B and Shakespeares_Girl | T, 2027, When you're in love, you leave little notes everywhere, and you just can't stop texting each other, and eventually, those things pile up and tell a story all their own. (Story told in love notes and text messages, and a tweet or two.) | Really, really cute.

- Fear of Flying by mokuyoubi | E, 29356, Spencer Smith, part-owner and celebrated head chef of noted restaurant Panic! At The Disco, is talented, rich, and gorgeous. The rest of the staff can't even seem to remember that Brendon works there. “You’re really good at that,” Jon observed. “Good at what?” Brendon asked, swirling his spoon in his dish. The ice cream was a melted mess by now. “Finding excuses not to come to the party even when you’re invited, not letting Spencer get to know you even when he asks you a direct question about yourself,” Jon said casually. Brendon dropped his spoon and glared across the table. “What are you trying to say?” “I’m saying that you don’t want anyone getting any closer to you,” Jon said. “How long were you with your last boyfriend?” | Warning: may make you hungry. (Also, I’m pretty sure jackfruit doesn’t look like that - I’ve eaten it.)

- Cinderella AU series by mokuyoubi | E (whole series), 32169, A Brencer retelling (sort of) of Cinderella. | This should really be a brencer fic but my favorite part of this is Pete/Ashlee/Patrick and idk why.

- The View From Here by mokuyoubi | E, 13634, Spencer has an irrational fear of Ferris wheels. Brendon sees it as his duty as best friend to cure him of it. | Or: Jon and Ryan try to set Spencer and Brendon up!

- The Gay Mormons series by stele3 | T, 39104, No summary | Poly!Spencer is amazing, okay?

- A Storm Brewing by bad_peppermint | G, 25073, Ever since he started university, Spencer has been quite content studying his dragons and trying to talk to Brendon, the young man who works at Spencer's boarding house. Having the dragons fall mysteriously ill is the last thing he wants, but then again, it does mean more time spent with Brendon as they try to figure out what's wrong. | The full title is too long, okay?

- There’s a boy that I like by spendon | T, 3833, 'There's a boy that I like,' Brendon began typing, fingers moving swiftly over the keyboard, tapping the keys delicately. |

- that one regret is you by thescrewtapedemos | E, 13969, There’s a witch living way out in the woods (that’s Spencer) and there’s someone running blindly through said woods (that’s Brendon) and that’s about where the similarity to a fairytale ends (there’s a cauldron but Spencer only uses it to make soup so Brendon’s pretty sure it doesn’t count) | Fantasy, again, is my favorite genre of rl novels. So, it’s pretty much a given that with this length + this AU, I would at least read it. But it’s actually great.

- Rule #3 (Wear Your Heart On Your Cheek) by Kandakicksass | E, 7768, "someone write me a brencer au where when you fall in love, a little heart shows up on your body, in totally random places, and Spencer falls in love for the first time with Brendon during like idk nothing rhymes with circus tour and the heart is like this cute thing that shows up on HIS FACE somewhere (like under his eye, on his cheek, or up high on his forehead) and he’s so embarrassed by it and it takes Brendon like two months and a lot of laughing from Ryan for him to figure out that Spencer is in love with him" I keep filling my own prompts. Enjoy. | The fact that the title came from a Marina song made me love this fic even more.

- And the world has its shine (but I would drop it on a dime for you) by AbsolutelyNothing and peachypunk | E, 165889, In Victorian-ish times, The Smith family has served the wealthy Urie family for generations. Being so close in age, Brendon and Spencer become best friends and, over time, the rich, Omega socialite, Brendon, starts to fall for his personal, Alpha servant, Spencer. | A/B/O is a concept I was first introduced to on AO3. Like, it’s all the werewolf AUs without the turning into a wolf part, and it’s developed into its own thing.

- *Need You Wild by fallintosilence and boweryd | E, 105K+, Spencer's a werewolf! A sexy werewolf! Okay, really, Spencer is a newly turned, slightly confused werewolf who can't figure out why Brendon smells so good all the time. Or why Spencer can't seem to stop acting like he is 16-years-old, what with all the blushing and stuttering around Brendon and the constant jerking off. Fear not, though, gentle reader, because it turns out Brendon is totally on board with having a werewolf boyfriend. And with having lots and lots of sex. | Werewolves are sort of cool. There’s a lot of p0rn in here, though.

Joncer

This pairing is used as a side for Ryan/Brendon and I really think it deserves its own time in the spotlight more often. It’s after brencer in popularity because it’s mostly shafted off as a side pairing and not the main one.

- Kick It Back by afterthefair | E, 6103, Spencer thinks the girls fall into a few distinct categories: the ones who either haven’t heard the news or don’t care, the ones who want to convert him, and the ones who shout “Kiss! Kiss!” every time he and Jon get within a foot of each other. | Coming out fic.

- Median by strangecobwebs | E, 23356, Jon first learned about the Kinsey scale when he was about seventeen. And if zero is completely heterosexual, and six is completely homosexual? Jon Walker is a three. So very much a three. |

- If It Kills Me by foxxcub | E, 16928, Spencer Smith knows there must be a catch when Jon Walker − his despised FBI partner − offers to transfer out of Chicago and far, far away from him. There's a catch, all right: Spencer has to spend one sexy night with the untamed playboy. Okay, so the guy's hot. So his reputation in the bedroom is the stuff of legend. So Spencer's been in a dry spell for, oh, over a year. So maybe one night to be rid of him isn't so unbearable. But once the sheets have cooled, Spencer's just starting to heat up, and moving away is the last thing on Jon's mind...FBI AU. Plot and summary stolen shamelessly from Erin McCarthy's novella Miss Extreme Congeniality. Title stolen from Jason Mraz. | This is another fic for the to-reread list.

- Let the Future Come into Each Moment by saramir | E, 27277, In which Spencer turns thirty, Jon is even more affectionate toward him than usual, and Ryan & Brendon are writing (and arguing about) a plant-themed album. Set on tour, 2017, after a failed album and failed relationships, all while the four of them have stuck together, and then some. | Future fics always hurt a little, because nobody could have predicted the split.

- Jon’s Bookstore (A Few of My Favorite Things) by foxxcub | M, 11235, A funeral is really the wrong place to learn you've inherited a business. |

- The Bootstrap Paradox and Other Tips for Finding True Love by mokuyoubi | E, 41829, In response to the harlequin_bands challenge: Swept from her dismal present in the 1990s (facing unemployment and the singles scene), Phoebe Turlow takes a wrong turn at a hotel (while attending a “free” vacation in the Caribbean, sponsored by a condo company) and winds up in the seventeenth century in the company of a sexy, witty pirate named Duncan Rourke. As if Rourke does not have enough to do fighting the British in the American Revolution, he has to determine whether short haired, strange speaking Phoebe is a spy, a witch, or worse. Instead, he falls in love with her. Okay, so Ryan was going to be Phoebe and Brendon Duncan, except then somehow Spencer and Jon took over the story, and so this really tells the story of Phoebe and Duncan’s best friends. Oh, also changed it to the eighteenth century, since I’m *pretty* sure that’s when the American Revolution actually took place…*shrug* | The 18th century is when the American Revolution really took place, because the century numbers versus actual year numbers are sort of misleading.

- Catnip by rockme | T, 7187, One day while smoking, Jon hears a distant meow. | No, but seriously, this fic is basically about weed actually turning people into cats.

- *Anywhere, Say Anywhere (As Long As I’m with You) by hidingoutside | E, Unknown, As the head of guest services at Oakhart Ranch, Jon Walker's supposed to make sure everything's running as smoothly as possible, even when Spencer Smith, former rodeo champion, comes rolling into town to help his former mother-in-law keep the ranch from going under. Jon's never heard anything good about Spencer, but Spencer's never anything but helpful and generally awesome to Jon and his infant daughter. Suddenly living on in the middle of nowhere Wyoming doesn't seem so bad... |

Rycer

I used to dislike this pairing. Not like, absolutely hate, but I had the tendency to avoid it.

- Mistletoe by amethyst__angel | T, 1191, Christmas is supposed to be a time for love, for friendship, for presents and accidentally walking under the mistletoe with your best-friend-since-forever... | I might be typing this on December 27th, but I started compiling this list before Christmas, so it’s fine.

- Further Down the Road by zarah5 | T, 7029, The sketch of a full moon is sitting next to yesterday’s date, and twenty-eight days, Spencer thinks. Twenty-eight days. He could be wrong, of course, but… He doesn’t know why it makes a twisted kind of sense mostly because it’s Ryan, but it does. | .

- Tearing Down the Toy City by roebling and rubblerousing | M, 52864, "What I'm trying to say, Spence, is that if you don't like the way things are going, that's fine, but if you're nostalgic for five years ago, you better give up. 2001 is not coming back. You and Ryan were never going to be fourteen forever. I think you need to figure out what you want." | There’s a mixed bag of fics in this tag, but the hurty ones are always the most well-written.

- Through All Kinds of Weather by Marks | E, 28994, Ryan gets sick and pushes himself too hard. Enter Spencer and his world of denial. | .

- His Executive Sweetheart (I’ll Put The Coffee On) by sunsetmog | M, 34252, As a bored but efficient executive assistant, Ryan Ross wasn't supposed to have fallen madly, hopelessly in love with his boss. Especially when his boss was business mogul and confirmed bachelor (and old childhood friend) Spencer Smith. His best friends were convinced that only one thing would get Spencer to notice him, and that was a makeover. But if he lets them have their way, then how is Ryan to ever really know for sure if Spencer likes Ryan for real? | .

Jon/Brendon

What...is the ship name for this? Also, I only have one rec for this pairing. I’m not a fan of this pairing, for some reason. I just...don’t quite understand it? Either way. One rec.

- (Panic! at the Disco Almost Changed Their Name to) Fuzzy Kitten Cuddle Time by dsudis | E, 14407, In which Jon Walker is sometimes a kitten. | Kittens.

Endnotes

Poly reclist coming up next. There are a lot of fics on that list.

(Edit 11/5/19: Fixed a broken link.)

#panic! at the disco #fanfiction #reclist #not tagging every pairing I mention. that's sort of ridiculous #bandom #colllstarr.rec

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afro-elf · 7 years ago

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How to Listen to Hozier: A Guide in Escapism with The Troubadour Hero

@farrahda5hy wrote this days ago and it’s every thought i’ve ever had about this fucking album and i really feel understood

The narrative I am proposing is personal to me, and I do not claim that it is proper or correct way to listen to this album. However, I will be providing commentary on how I compose this specific narrative. These steps are really boiling down how I perceive things so see them as the end all be all. The instructions are comprised on two main factors: one’s beloved and the constructed world that exists in one’s mind.

1. First, identify your beloved. I don’t have a significant other which is why I probably am going to choose Sweet Andy Hozier himself. Also, he’s a neat guy and quite a charmer and activist…etc. This step should be easier for those are in relationships. As reductive as this may sound, it is important that one chose a few words that summarize the relationship with one’s significant other. 2. The self-construction is really only important to listen experience. It’s really where your mind goes to when you’re listening to the album. For those who are taking the beloved to the narrator (Andy as Narrator maybe) approach, I assume this step would be harder or potentially easier as one’s mind is free to run wild as you are not tied down to reality. As a creative writer, I live and thrive in this space.

I am choosing the words: Fluid, Bold, Chaotic, Sarcastic, Overwhelming, and Passionate.

As for this world construction, I usually go back to my hometown within the Appalachian mountains, specifically the Smokey mountains. For me, this place represents a mysticism that I have created for myself. Honestly, it is quite the opposite of the Bog People villas described in the album, but there’s a large number Irish descendants in this area. But like I said, it’s more personal and obviously idealistic. I don’t care for my hometown, but I’m in love with how it made me feel and the bastardized version of it that exists in my head now that somehow blurred into my new city.

Taking these basic elements, I’m forming this new track list organization. Hold on to your hats, it’s going to get fucking wild and possibly a bit fanfic, so as Griffin McElroy says “just fucking play in this space with me.”

Track one: Take Me to Church.

Yes, don’t at me. This song is in fact the first song on the album, but I think it sets the tone for the narrative. Two lines that stick out are “She’s the giggle at a funeral” and “My church offers no absolutes.” Honestly, these lines really stick out to me. Immediately, it identifies the woman in the relationship as other to what is excepted in society. Quite frankly as black woman, I’m kind always in that category, you know. Not to mention the hella gospel tones and such. The second line mentioned out of context is very much a declaration of acceptance which is bomb, but also naive in a way in a new love sense. Because of course within relationships, there are aspects that are fine in the beginning or on some levels but cause problems in the long-run. For me, I identify as the woman who the subject of the song. Honestly, I’m that gal who’s going to say wise shit to you, but will also doubt herself. But I’m a “fuck what the world thinks” person and overcompensate by existing in this “let’s take down the world” ideology.

Track two: Jackie and Wilson

This song is so damn playful, and it’s this feeling of hopefulness and disappointment in a way. Really the entire breakdown of the song throws your head into a loop. There’s this one-sided commitment, and I guess when I get to that part of the song I’m always thinking “yeah, bud, I like you, but shit, this thing can’t last forever right? Don’t tie yourself down to me because woof…buddy, I’m a roadtrip you do not want to go on.” The song is trying to come to terms with a partner who isn’t giving their 150%. Also, for my mental music video, Hozier has his hair down the entire car ride and sunglasses on, and I’m sticking my whole body out the car with an lit cigarette in my left hand while we do donuts in Kroger parking lot.

Track Three: Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene

This song is another one where the breakdown of the song is the most powerful. Really the song speaks for its self. The relationship just is toxic and overwhelming and in need of escape. Every time I listen to this song, I imagine myself in a basement at a drum set. It didn’t really occur to me that it’s the chaotic feeling and the need to escape that I have latch on to.

Track four: Someone New

Forget everything you know about this song, okay. Because this song is literally the “Take Me or Leave Me” moment. Literally until the breakdown of the song, I imagine the beloved singing the verses rather than Sweet Andy. It’s very much a “we’re not working. We’re trying other people.”

Two things I want to highlight: the lyrics of the breakdown. This first part will not make as much sense until I talk about the next song. But Jealous!Hozier is a fucking thing. I find this interesting, but until then, there’s this “I’m level headed and open about my emotions” air about him. But this delightful pang of jealousy adds dimension to what I call the Hozier Troubadour Hero. The female character (or the one I have constructed in my own head) as main vocalist is just as level-headed and falsely self-aware. Then there’s this arrow of “oh yeah we’re doing this thing and seeing other people, but I’m not happy about seeing you with other people.”

The line “Love with every stranger. The stranger the better.” I love this wordplay. But against the line “how pure how sweet in love Aretha that you would pray for him,” it’s fucking taunting and bitter as hell. Really, starting the album of with Take Me to Church reflects this disregard for organized religion, which is no stranger to Hozier, but the beloved seems to still exists in that sphere. But I also want to read in another way that it’s bittersweet to the Hozier!character that this beloved still prays for him although she’s involved with another person. I don’t know. It’s interesting.

Quickly, I want to highlight the other vocal overlay that actually comes between the two lines mentioned. I get this air of confrontation and then the “NO ITS COOL IM HAPPY THAT YOUR HAPPY WITH SOMEONE NEW”. Once again, I imagine this argument taking place in an apartment living room.

Here, I would like to introduce a distinction between the characters. The Hozier character is very much fluid that is very self contained chaos whereas the female character is very much open chaos. As a fire signs, I totally get that. Hozier being a water sign is very fluid in what we stereotypically thing as fluid, but we also don’t always see water as destructive in comparison to fire.

Track Five: From Eden

To this day, I still wonder if this is a love song. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be. But I find this song to be one of my favorites.

I want to flip the imagery of Jackie and Wilson and delve more into the Chaotic!Hozier characterization. Obviously, this song is very upfront with the Garden of Eden serpent allusion. This song exists in the uncertainty of relationship. The “are we or aren’t we” spheres. To sum it up, this is a conversation happening in a car. Oddly, person in the passenger seat (Hozier) is leading the conversation and the beloved as the driver really doesn’t want to have this conversation.

The ending of first verse give us little snippets, and it appears that the beloved flaws are being pointed out or Hozier is anticipating the responses from the driver. But also let’s return back to this serpent imagery. Hozier aligns himself with the serpent in Eden, so the idea of corruption is very highly in this imagined car ride.

When I first heard this song, I got the “bad boy who doesn’t let everyone know he’s a bad boy” vibe.” I really gripped on to this concept; along with other religious allusions, I really don’t know how to objectively look at them. For me, it’s a little “Walk to Remember-ish” where the preachers daughter is in love with the bad boy. I don’t know, but really at the heart of it, the narrative boils down to “I’m going to corrupt this persons core, and I don’t have remorse at all.” Understanding what this concept means on personal level will determine whether it’s a love song or whether it’s an act of selfishness disguised as love.

Track Six: Foreigners God

I’ll admit. I didn’t really get this song after my initial listen to the album. I think for me it’s just too personal. I grew up in a Christian household, going to a very charismatic church. So the line that really sticks out it’s very simple “It’s Foreign to me”. I’ll just leave that there.

It’s really an outsider looking in and not understanding and forming their own opinions. While “Take Me to Church” is very much a “sex in an abandoned church (or whatever) type of jam that highlights the oppressive aspects of organized religion, “Foreigners God” really displays the frustration of separating the comforting parts from all the oppressive aspects.

This scene takes place in the abandoned church, and I want to react in this way of “God is here” in this desolation that some people don’t understand. Going back to that fire fluidity, I just imagine myself dancing in this church with like a song under my breath and releasing all this anger I’ve shared with no one. Then Sweet Andy Hozier is just watching in the door frame in the background. Not even sitting in the pew.

Track Seven: Cherry Wine

I think I’m just punching a window out. Car window. A church window. A bedroom window.

This pivotal point of realization that “hey maybe you’re the one that’s holding you back and lashing out at people isn’t the best.” But the tragedy is there’s still a lack of self awareness. Like you’re angry but you still put blame on other people. Yeah…

Track Eight: Sedated

This song is another one of those songs that I interpret as the point of view of the beloved based on the breakdown of the song, but I still want to look at the Hozier character POV

“Darling, don’t stand there watching won’t you come save me from this. Darling, don’t you join in you’re supposed to drag me away from this.”

That’s desperation. That’s a little toxic in a way. Expecting a person to save you, but yet, forgetting that person may need saving themselves is selfish. What makes Jackie and Wilson so tragic is this naivety. “She’s going to save me call me ‘baby’ run her hands to my hair.” Yeah, that’s sweet and cute, but what are you doing in return. Falling in love with this idealized strong woman, but then denying her the opportunity to be vulnerable is very much the corruption I spoke about in From Eden.

Honestly, the worst part about hiding vulnerability is when it rushes out like a dam breaking or when a fire is no longer contained.

Track Nine: Arsonist’s Lullaby

I call it the pagan ritual version of Foreigners God or when Chaotic!Hozier is at his most powerful and vulnerable. Why? Is it the relinquishing of this vulnerability for his beloved to use as her discretion or is it his acknowledgment of hers and offering to aid her in channeling it? Yes, but it’s also the fire within him, the passion, the chaos, and the darkness that fuels him. He is both talking to the beloved and himself.

For the sake of the conversation, this scene also takes place in the same abandoned church, and Hozier gets up to where he stage used to be; barefoot and hair pulled back. At first, he’s swaying gently, fluid like as flame is first lit with back facing the congregation. He’s like this for a few moments and then he’s twirling around the abandoned stage until he’s almost stomping his feet. Thump. Thump. Thump. Suddenly, everything changes and his hair falls out the ponytail and turns around and the stumps are more violent, yet the dance is just as fluid until he steps down from stage…the intense eye contact is fucking overwhelming. He just walks out the abandoned church leaving his shoes like some awoken wild child.

Track Ten: My Love will Never Die

Do you like blues? Welp. This song speaks for its fucking self. Do you want Sad!Hozier crooning in a room by himself? Because that’s what he’s doing, babe.

Track Eleven: In the Woods Somewhere I get a lot of fever dream vibes from this song, so I can only imagine it as something just not real. So I present you with an actual dream I had about Hozier I had once.

Pretty much, I dreamt Hozier was this shapeshifter who turned into a fox that was terrorizing the town in his fox state. It was more a vigilante like thing, but it was tragic because I had to kill the fox out of mercy.

The song also talks about a similar scene. So mercy killing when you’re in love is very much something that hard to describe, but you have to do it to the other person when you love them. I don’t know. So just imagine Hozier shooting up out of dead sleep fever dream.

Track Twelve: Run

Also a ritual dance, but also possibly a fever dream? This song introduces the field/nature imagery to relationship narrative. The metronome in the background mirrors the jerky dancing of the beloved from the Foreigners God portion but the tempo of the drums gives rhythm to the fluidity of the Hozier!Character. Both of these two sounds represent being grounded, and they work in unison. This unison is a first really. Playing that fever dream, the song seems to end abruptly and I think that’s the true awakening of the Hozier!Character physically and emotionally.

The dream itself is the couple dancing in a field together in the afternoon. I could go further with this dream, but I’m going explain it as actual event later.

Track Thirteen: It Will Come Back

The best song on the album, not to mention a song of seduction. It’s an unintentional sexy song. I wish it were a duet or at least have more prominent female background vocals. While seduction isn’t the best term for the overall narrative, what I am trying to say is a song of pleading for so many things: to be let go, to be let in, or to be cast aside to make it easier to move on. Wild Eye, Sleep-Deprived Hozier is walking around barefoot at three am across town to reconcile his feelings, and then he’s just singing and howling outside my house? Of course, I’m going to let him in. “Don’t you hear me howling, babe?” The faded of the last line is so interesting, and it brings me back to Sedated’s line “I keep catching little words, but the meanings thin.” I just occurred to me is that the expression of vulnerability is very metaphorically, but on the literal manifestations are different. The Hozier!Character is very much a “tell me with your words”; the beloved is very much “tell me with your actions. “Don’t you hear me howling, babe” takes on another meaning in which the question is literally “you’ve seen me vulnerable, but did you hear what I actually said. I love you so much that it’s animalistic and consuming the humanity in me.” That’s oddly beautiful.

Track Fourteen: To Be Alone

So I bet you were wondering when I was going to talk more about the location part. Well, here is it. I grew up in the middle of the Bible Belt. Sometimes when you’re not conforming you feel like everyone is looking at you whether they are or not. At on a more concrete level, my hometown used to have a festival called the Fall Festival, and they would have a series of out door concerts of various artists. This event was usually held downtown. Honestly, I’m not to big on crowds, but at the same time, I adore being alone in a crowd or with one person while out in public. To Be Alone captured that vibe very well. Returning the relationship, at this point, the air of ambiguity of relationship still exists; however, the relationship is heading toward stability in my opinion. I just love the image of Chaotic!Hozier dancing in a crowd simultaneously ignoring everyone else while be fully away of the contained space he’s got to be close with his lover. Then just going the fuck home for sex just because the mood allowed it to feel sacred in some way. Maybe it was the dream of the two lovers dancing in the field.

Track Fifteen: In A Week

The only duet on this album! UGH SO DAMN GOOD! A lovely balances of vocals; they are playing off each other. It’s very much stereotypical “we finish each other’s sentences” concept but actualized very well. So maybe the sex didn’t happen after the festival, but that closeness and intimate is still present. Despite being allergic to grass, I like lying in the grass. I also like the macabre. So nothing is out of place, and it’s all intimate joke to describe a seemingly tragic love that is no longer tragic.

Track Sixteen: Like Real People Do

Something tragic about that this song (it’s probably the true story behind it) but also romantic. As the penultimate song in the album, it’s very much the final acceptance of all the flaws, frustrations, and the opposition within. Not to be sexy, this song is the foreplay to the final song. This is the outside conversation on the porch before you invite your lover into the house to stay the night and lead your lover upstairs or to the couch or the floor Whatever floats your passionate boat.

Track Seventeen: Work Song

It’s the only song on the album that doesn’t seem to have baggage behind it. It’s purely romantic. I put this song in opposition to Take Me to Church really. I imagine that’s why I put it at the the end. This song is true acceptance not the fake acceptance in Take Me to Church. The line “Heaven and Hell were words to me” signifies this point. Everything I’ve described throughout this narrative as been about duality and finding where the lines blur for this relationship to be functional. “Work Song” finally rejects that ideology and allows the relationship to heal and flourish. So in this moment, let’s return back to this abandoned church that this couple has made their own sanctuary (face it they are fucking weird) but it’s not broken down or stuffy. It’s homely as they camp out for the night making their bed at the abandoned altar. The couple makes love in the moonlight that peeks in through the shattered window. The whole damn cosmos witness the rebellion that manifests in their love. So yeah, I’m curious to what the narrative of the reverse of this track list. I didn’t have this narrative planned out in my head. It just came organically as I was writing. Honestly if i had written my original idea it would have been more fantasy driven and a lot more Chaotic!Hozier. If you’re curious about that let me know. Also, I will try to do one of the original track list because it’s more of a challenge.

#farrahda5hy #submission #hozier

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jnasheb-blog · 6 years ago

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A Deep Analysis of Scorpion’s A-side

When I first listened to Scorpion, the new album by the rapper Drake, my reaction to it was similar to that of many individuals; it felt uninspired. Like many people, I also had a similar experience with Views - Drake’s previous album, right before Scorpion - which felt bland and interminable. What makes things different for me is that, after a while, Views began to grow on me. It actually became better. In a 2016 interview with Zane Lowe, Drake mentions how, for him, the best pieces of music are the ones you don’t really get at first; they require you, the audience, to improve your skills as listeners in order to truly appreciate what’s been presented to you. He’s worked hard to craft the album and now wants effort on your part in understanding it. It’s like we’re co-labouring in the process of defining an artwork. I think it’s beautiful. And I love Drake’s work all the more for it.

To put it simply, Views is a story of the world’s biggest rapper who grapples with his very complex situation; he is simultaneously Hip Hop’s most loved and hated child. The story is told through seasons, winter and summer, and becomes increasingly intriguing the more you peel back its layers and discard the many opinions that tend to influence our own perspectives. From being an album I honestly had a hard time embracing, it became the album I listen to basically every day, for almost two and a half years now.

More Life, the follow-up to Views, not dubbed an album but, rather, a playlist, was similar in how it was received by the public and critics alike. The most common response to the project was, “it was okay.” Not good, not bad, just okay. This is an opinion held for most of Drake’s work and I’m willing to admit that I’ve held it before as well. Regardless, I really enjoyed More Life upon my first listen and the many ones that followed after it. More Life was an answer to Views which begged the question, “How do I, Drake, circumvent this space that I’ve clearly influenced the most, above all my predecessors and peers, even though this same space resents me?” To simplify the answer Drake gave in More Life, he basically said this: He’s come to terms with the fact that rap is a vicious bloodsport that stems from a culture (Hip Hop) that is plagued by hate and jealousy; all the love he needs, he gets from friends and family but that’s pretty much it - not to say that there are aren’t many fans, such as myself, who genuinely appreciate Drake but, rather, it’s hard to gauge whose love is real - especially when so many people supposedly hate the man but are also largely responsible for placing him in his position as the biggest rapper of all time. He’s accepted all that. He also says, in the outro track of More Life:

“My life is centered 'round competition and currency Taking summer off 'cause they tell me I need recovery Maybe gettin' back to my regular life will humble me I'll be back in 2018 to give you the summary More Life”

Well, it’s 2018 and he’s delivered on his promise of a summary in the form of Scorpion.

By now, I hope you see the picture I’m trying to paint here; Drake’s albums are a lot more complex than the whinings of an overly sensitive rap millionaire who a lot of people like to think of as more of a pop star (in the derogatory sense). There’s real depth behind the rapper’s work. There’s real meaning and real lessons to be learned. Important lessons.

Scorpion resumes the narrative we were introduced to in Views (some might argue that it’s been playing out for the entirety of his career but I believe Views was the beginning of a new phase for Drake) and beautifully answers the questions that Drake himself poised in his previous two bodies of work: In this world of jealousy and strife, where do I fit in? Scorpions simple answer is that he doesn’t; Drake fits nowhere in this image that people have of an “ideal” Hip Hop. He’s the antithesis of this image. He’s vulnerable, honest and willing to show love when love isn’t warranted. He isn’t Biggie. He isn’t Pac. He’s Drake. For better or worse.

In the recent beef we saw between him and Pusha T, Pusha’s response to Drake’s Duppy Freestyle wasn’t just an attempt to end his rival’s career, it was an attempt to dismantle his life and permanently taint his reputation. Granted, a lot of rap beefs can often lead to the aforementioned result but I had a particular issue with Pusha’s diss: it was implemented, in my opinion, rather dishonestly. It paints the picture that Drake is an insecure and dishonest man that is hiding a child - who he’s also supposedly neglecting - from the world. There are a couple of issues I could point out about this approach. Firstly, basically everything that was said in the Story of Adidon (Pusha T’s diss track towards Drake) had already been discussed in Drake’s own music. Whether it’s his dad leaving him as a child, whether it’s his dad’s wardrobe choices, whether it’s his mother’s love life, whether it’s his struggles with his own blackness or whether it’s the multitude of women who have claimed to be the mother of his child - all of this has been addressed in Drake’s music. The narrative Pusha T gives suggests that Drake hasn’t come to terms with all of this and, instead, runs away from it. Drake, in “The Resistance”, a song from his first album, “Thank Me Later”, once revealed that a woman he’d had unprotected sex with had an abortion of a child that he believes to have been his. The opposite of Pusha T’s claims are true; Drake isn’t running from anything.

Another issue I have with Pusha’s diss, and the last I’ll discuss here, is with the entitlement he and the general public seem to have over the information of Drake’s private life. It’s been confirmed that Drake does indeed have a son but, in reality, did any of us actually have a right to know this? If Drake decides to keep us completely ignorant of this information, has he suddenly become a bad person? Being the biggest musician alive right now, he has obvious reasons for wanting to shield his child from the public eye - the same public eye that has an obsessive and dangerous fixation on the celebrities it worships.

And this brings us to Scorpion - what I believe to be Drake’s best work to date. The A-side of the album discusses hate and jealousy and the need to discard both emotions for the sake of peace and healing. In the intro song of the album, Survival, he implies that he seriously thought about causing real harm to Pusha T, going on to say that it’s unsettling for him to discuss those dark thoughts. He also says, in the same song, “Realise someone gotta die when no one'll dead it.” You’ll understand why this is true if you think back to the beef between 2pac and Biggie; an ongoing rap feud moved beyond rap and ended in the loss of lives.

It simply isn’t worth it.

All of this raises my appreciation of the song, “God’s Plan”, one of the album’s lead singles. Drake believes that all of the negativity and conflict he experiences within the rap sphere is the result of a larger plan in motion; a divine plan. In my eyes, this plan could lead to more candid discussions on beef, jealousy and the need for Hip Hop to evolve from its malevolent state - it’s the only logical way that this could go if the likes of Drake remain at Hip Hop’s helm.

What makes God’s Plan even more interesting is that Drake places “I’m Upset”, one of Scorpion’s other lead singles, directly after it on the album’s tracklist. I’m Upset discusses his frustration with certain things going on around him, whether it’s him being sued by former love interests, dealing with constant betrayal (in one of Scorpion’s songs, “Sandra’s Rose”, Drake raps, “Backstabbed so many times I started walkin' backwards”) or dealing with rap beef. It’s as if he’s saying, despite believing there is a divine purpose to all that’s happening, he still feels pain and resentment toward all of it. Understandably so.

In the song “Emotionless”, also on Scorpion, Drake discusses how he’s fed up with all of this. He says this about fake supporters: “Don't link me. Don't hit me when you hear this and tell me your favorite song. Don't tell me how you knew it would be like this all along. I know the truth is you won't love me until I'm gone.” He also talks about how he’s lost love for the majority of his idols, describing meeting them as “seeing how magic works”. With the more time he spends on top of rap’s throne, he notices even more of its tragic flaws. His line in Emotionless, “iconic duos rip and split at the seams” could be seen as a reference to Kanye West and Jay-Z, two formerly very close friends who, due to the nature of Hip Hop lost a lot of that friendship. Then there’s Birdman and Lil Wayne. Even Pusha T and his brother, No Malice, split from their former duo, Clipse. Hip Hop, although it contains many beautiful elements and, thus, we still support it, is messy and suffers from a large lack of honesty and compassion. Drake says that this has changed him as a person. The question he asks at the end of the song is, “Is there anybody like me?” He doesn’t want tension. He doesn’t want beef. He wants the opposite of this. He’s become an unwilling participant of a very bloody sport but I think Scorpion is the continuation of a process of him detaching himself from this narrative.

The last song, “Is There More?”, of the album’s A-side is my favourite and, what I find to be, the most interesting. Some of Drake’s words: “Still I rise, Maya Angelou vibes, when life comin' at you from all angles and sides and they don't wanna see that you smilin' from inside.”

He’s risen above all the negativity that surrounds him and retains his inner peace. However, I also love the theme that runs throughout the song: Is there more to life than the trappings of fame? The question is asked in different forms throughout the song and I love this because it continues a pattern that existed in his previous two projects: asking a question that will then be answered in his next body of work.

Views was Drake dealing with the hate and jealousy of both his peers and the general public. More Life was him coming to terms with that and withdrawing to his regular life in order to find peace. Scorpion finds him in the midst of this life, asking himself if there’s more than what currently presents itself to him. In his final words of the A-side of the album:

“Am I missin' somethin' that's more important to find? Like healin' my soul, like family time? Is there more to life than just when I'm feelin' alive? Is there more?”

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the-e4b · 7 years ago

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THE FOLLOWING RESPONSE POST IS VERY OLD: IT HAS BEEN IN THE DRAFTS FOR A LONG WHILE. IT IS POSTED TODAY BECAUSE DISNEYMASTER IS STILL SEEKING ATTENTION SO HE WILL GET ATTENTION.

Continuing on from this post because DM has managed to totally miss the point of our replies and make up something entirely different.

1. We are not pretending our fandom isn’t filled with Men Rights Activist, Alt-righters and corporate yes men. Because, guess what? That’s not the focus of our blog. The focus of our blog is bronies (like yourself) who make an ass out of themselves or try to look smart but in the end look like nothing less than the end of a donkey’s ass. None of us CARE about politics in the slightest, we only care about a show about pastel talking horses to escape our shitty lives.

2. We will immediately give dear Peet every ounce of respect once he starts to own up to it. What he does now is make fun of transgenders, feminists, bronies, weeboos, professional writers and everything that goes against atleast one of his policies. No one respects him but his faithful herd of cockroaches.

3. There’s a difference between pointing out flaws in a character and obsessing and hating over every trait they have and show in an episode. But, I shouldn’t try to explain that to someone who obsesses over a character getting wings and character growth…

4. Bit too late on that “blackmailing us over to Peet”. Every one of us is already blocked by Jerry and already knows our dirty laundry and absolutely doesn’t care about it. And he will certainly not care about what a pathetic little shit like you has to say.

5. This point I’m not even gonna argue with. If you really want to go as far as to call a CHILDREN’S show sexist then you’re way past the point of no return. You’re taking a show for little kids WAY too serious, even by our standards. And BTW, Rotten Tomatoes’ opinion doesn’t mean shit if the movie made it’s money back with even more to add to this day. As we speak MLP:the movie has broken 50 million dollars in the box office with still a lot of theaters to hit and the DVD and Blu-ray still to come out. One small thing doesn’t seem like a lot, but soon one small thing leads to more and soon one small thing can be the biggest thing of all.

YOU, Disneymaster, are one of those vocal minorities who think that the show is full of “right wing/centralist corporate bs”. How about you just sit back and enjoy a good series like Ducktales or watch reruns of the good ol days of MLP. That’s still 52 episode where you can just shut your yap and enjoy blandness and the glory days of Queen and Empress Faust.

- Space Mare

PS. Still can’t believe you haven’t found out who I am yet.

I find it hard to believe that this poor soul is still trying to start more issues with us because we still exist and continue to oppose the most toxic people in the community. It doesn’t matter which way they lean politically, scum is scum. Al Franken and Roy Moore sit on each side of the political spectrum, both of them are dirty abusers, deserving to rot in a prison cell for the harm they caused others

I do not know why DM insists on white knighting on behalf of someone who actually despises that part of the fanbase that threw a giant tantrum many moons ago over Twilight Sparkle’s wings. It’s like how Ephrom continues to track down Peet’s enemies, despite senpai not giving a rat’s ass about him.

Also, It’s funny how DisneyMaster feels like he can act like an asshole again despite apologizing for his actions towards the fanbase. After that, we closed the book on the Anticorns as most of them were willing to acknowledge their faults and move on. DisneyMaster tried the moral high ground approach with us and even tried to use blackmail to try and get us to remove his Encyclopedia Dramatica page (which we had no hand in despite what his paranoia would tell him) and our previous screencaps.

He also tried to shine the spotlight on the things that we have done, as Space Mare said… Peet doesn’t care and no one else cares about what you have to say. Everyone had a phase where they were reckless and pious in their beliefs. You wanted to be a hero, you fought for something you believed was noble but you were shortsighted by the part of the fanbase that wanted to wait and see where the show was going before jumping to conclusions. At some points, we wanted to make a difference, we all wanted to interact with others, beg for free art and contribute to many collaborative stories… however because of the ambiguity of text, everyone’s true feelings are masked. I don’t remember everyone I annoyed but I moved on and worked to improve. The Book of Five Rings says that the path of self improvement is a neverending cycle.

I say this because humans are social creatures and making a good first impression is the first step to building a strong bond. The point is to grow from the mistakes and move on. We’ve moved on from you, DM… why can’t you do the same?

-JoJo

To finally relieve some inner anger I’ve been feeling because Disneymaster is an obnoxious parasite that doesn’t know when to fade into a pit of nothing or won’t fucking back off and leave us alone..I’m gonna speak myself with this Linkara:

You are the most annoying, self entitled, obnoxious and downright most self important scumfuck that I have EVER fucking come across when it comes to any fandom.

AND THAT IS SAYING A LOT.

You constantly seek to complain about certain things the MLP fandom as if that’s ALL the fandom consists off. As Saturn states, E4B is not on THAT type of garbage because we aren’t INTERESTED in it, we discuss and criticize the people who make the fandom look poor or make complete ass out of themselves and come off a arrogant and think they know more in regards to a show about multicolored horses.YOU’RE the one constantly seeking the negative traits and screech the almighty heavens how “TEH BRONIEZ FANDOM IZ BAD CAUSE THIS AND THAT”.

And then we come to my favorite one:

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. OVER. THE MISGENDERING. SHIT.

We’ve stated this and stated THIS AGAIN:

The reasons we REFUSE to call Jerry “Lily” ISN’T because we have something against transgenders, hell we have transgender friends. One of the bands I’m a fan of has a transgender leader (And just so you can get it through your fucking obnoxious skull, the person in question is Laura Jane Grace of Against Me, who came out as a transgender in 2012 and even wrote an album about her struggles with gender dysphoria). The reasons we don’t call Jerry by their preferred name is because not only does Jerry show no respect to not only ex friends who dared disagree with him on certain things, no respect to his family, no respect to his own colleagues of the fandom, no respect to other fandoms,or even his fans…

He has no respect TRANSGENDERS, he even infamously snarked and attacked a transgendered individual who called out his garbage.

How do we (myself especially) respect someone who does THAT?!

Or what, does that not fit your stupid political leanings or for your SJW tendancies?

“OH YOU SHOULDN’T BE COMPLAINING OVER RINGTEAM CRITICZING CHARACTER TRAAAAITS”.

Have you looked in the mirror Mr. I-Hate-MLP-Because-Twilight-Got-Wings-And-Said-Meghan-McCarthy-Should-Be-Beaten?

“DURRRRR BE GLAD I HAVEN’T TATTLETAILED ON YOU GUYS TO JERRY WAAAH”

Jerry knows about the blog’s existence and has both shown little to no interest and even when he did, he gave the usual bitch rant he always gives towards people who call out his shit:

Obligatory insults that involve “transphobic” and “Nazi”.

Also, “MLP Sexist”. Oh sure, Gen 4 is totally sexist. A generation created by a feminist with the idea of making the show towards a general audience is “sexist”.

Do you ever fucking hear yourself, or do you love the sound of your voice that you jerk to it?

But then again, this is the same asshole who took his niece’s plushie away and has no regret over it and has even show depression over a fucking children’s show involving multicolored horses, all while screeching pity about how “nobody likes him” despite the fact he himself is his own downfall by constantly bitching at fans of the show and even comparing them to Donald Trump supporters.

Clearly we’re the bad guys compared to the guy whining about colored horse butts for about four years.

As Saturn stated, while critical reception for the movie was just mixed, it was a financial success, getting a total of $51 million at the box office and even then, it did good for it’s opening week with $21.9 million in the US and Canada. That’s ESPECIALLY impressive considering BLADE RUNNER 2049 (and by an extent, the romnatic survival film The Mountain Between Us) came out ON THE SAME DAY. Not to mention the 2017 adaptation of IT was still in theaters.

At the end of the day DM, You’re nothing but an obnoxious, annoying, and downright tumorous parasite that doesn’t know when to fuck off and leave us alone, let alone the fandom.

You really wanna know why people give you shit?

BECAUSE YOU FUCKING MAKE THEM DO IT.

YOU FUCKING SPEW POLITICAL GARBAGE OVER A CHILDREN’S SHOW, ATTACK FANS OVER SIMPLY ENJOYING THE SHOW THEY’VE GROWN TO LOVE, AND DOWNRIGHT CONSTANTLY THINK YOU’RE IN THE FUCKING RIGHT EVERY TIME.

Heck, one of your fucking DA Tags was “Disneymaster is always right”. You cry fucking pity every time because you hate how people snark at you, but then you do stupid shit like accuse a show created by FEMINIST, let alone a toy line targeted to a certain demographic of “being sexist”.

I would say take responsibility for your shitty actions, but the one time you did, you backed out f it because “WAAAAAAAH E4B ARE SAYING SHIT I DON’T LIIIKE”. Like you STILL keep doing because you can’t let shit fucking go.

Do everyone a fucking favor: Do something with your sad fucking life.

But chances are, you’ll disregard everything we’ve said because nobody else is right but you.

You fucking are sad and borderline unstable.

- deafpony.

I love how right there you admit you don’t care about what the SU fandom did, because they agree with your opinions.

Those extremest you think are all over the MLP community? They are often called out and are despised but the fandom at large. Like you.

Unlike SU, which has no problems harassing artists and staff members over petty shit because you sad losers think you’re heroes living in a crappy Young Adult novel.

“ROTTEN TOMATOS SAID MOVIE BAD ME RIGHT!!!!!!”

Who the fuck cares about what the same site that bashed A Cure for Wellness, one of the most unique horror movies of 2017? The movie still made a mint anyway. Bet you’re one of those types who freaked out because Ghostbusters 2016 flopped.

Because you’re the worst type of fan, Dumpy. You don’t care about the story, or characters, or animation, you care about how “progressive” it is. I bet that’s why you like that blander than white bread Season 1 of MLP, because Faust’s name was on it. Nothing more.

Go do something productive with your sad life. Or screech about a blog that hasn’t said a word about you again. That’s a victory for Social Justice!

#disneymaster #idiot #space mare post #jojo mod post #deafpony mod post #mod kirby

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thisaintascenereviews · 7 years ago

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Album Review by Bradley Christensen Discrepancies – The Awakening (Deluxe Reissue) Record Label: InVogue Release Date: March 23 2018

The biggest trend in metalcore the last four years, give or take, has been nu-metal coming back. You know, the late 90s and early 00s style of metal that also took elements of hip-hop, rap-rock/metal, and to a less extent, funk-rock/metal. Nu-metal has a really bad reputation, but let’s be real here – the genre had some real gems. Bands like Disturbed, System Of A Down, Mudvayne, Flaw, Spineshank, Slipknot, and many other bands came out of it. A lot of them are pretty dated, but I think people give it a bad rap, thanks to a band like Limp Bizkit. I’ve listened to an album from them, and it wasn’t half bad, but Fred Durst is not a good vocalist at all, nor a good lyricist, and he should go away. It’s unfair to discredit a whole style of music, let alone remember it, for a couple of bad apples in the entire genre, no? I mean, every era of music has had some pretty bad music that we tend to just forget about. There was bad music during every era of music, but we just tend to remember the good stuff from before the 00s, because the Internet wasn’t a thing yet. At its core, though, I can get the disdain for nu-metal, because it’s most often performed by whiny, cringy, and untalented white guys that think they can rap, even though they really can’t, so it ends up being embarrassing for everyone involved. Nu-metal was basically for suburban white guys, usually teens or early 20s, that liked metal, but didn’t want to admit they liked hip-hop, so they settled for the next best thing. It’s got a bad reputation for a reason, but I don’t think it’s totally warranted. A lot of great stuff came out, like I said, and bad music has always existed. I mean, if you really think about it, nu-metal of the early 00s is similar to metalcore / crabcore the mid-00s. In terms of metal, the next fad / trend came along, and it was bands like Of Mice & Men, Attack Attack, Asking Alexandria, and the like.

Similarly to nu-metal, some of those bands have either disappeared completely, changed their sound, or keep doing their thing to their dedicated fanbase, but a lot of people look at it with disdain. I can totally understand it, especially those that never grew up with it, and didn’t necessarily see its appeal, but even people that either grew up with nu-metal or crabcore (maybe they grew up with both), tend to mock them or disassociate from them. I mean, I can understand that to a degree, because people tend to be embarrassed of what they used to like, but I look back on crabcore with fondness in a sense. Looking back at an album like Attack Attack’s debut record, 2008’s Someday Came Suddenly, it’s an album that could only have come out in 2008. It’s an album that’s oddly dated and timeless all at once, but it’s also a lot of fun. I mean, you can say the same thing for nu-metal, too, at least when it’s done well. It’s a genre that’s a ton of fun, energetic, and both dated and timeless at the same time. A lot of these bands / albums are ones that only could have come out in the early 00s, and they’re a product of their time, but they’re so much of a product that they become timeless in a sense. I’m not surprised that nu-metalcore would become a thing, because nostalgia is such a huge moneymaker / influencer in media today, whether it’s rebooting movie franchises, TV shows, or even bands coming back from the dead to release new music. Nu-metalcore is a genre that makes sense, especially when you look at the people making it. A lot of musicians were kids during the early 00s, and they grew up on nu-metal / hard-rock, so you can hear that influence in their stuff.

Austin Carlile, the former frontman of Of Mice & Men talked about how he grew up on Deftones, Chevelle, and Breaking Benjamin, so he wanted to incorporate their sounds into their music, especially with 2014’s Restoring Force, but bands like Issues, My Ticket Home, Cane Hill, and many others have been taking this idea and running with it. I listen to a few of these bands, since metalcore isn’t quite my cup of tea anymore (I tend to like bands that are a bit heavier, though, and are more on the “metal” spectrum, at least), but every now and again, I find a metalcore band that I find to be really interesting. Nu-metalcore tends to mainly rely on nu-metal instrumentation within its sound, having a very groovy sound with a funky tone to the guitarwork at times, but what they don’t have are, well, rappers. A lot of nu-metal bands had vocalists that rapped, and sometimes that’s all they did; they didn’t sing, scream, or anything else. They just rapped. Those types of bands are becoming less prominent, but a few of them happen to come out of the woodwork every now and again. Last year I talked about BackWordz and Fire From The Gods, two bands that utilized rappers in their sound, but I found BackWordz to be more interesting, whether it was for their vocalist being better, the lyrics being more interesting, or the overall sound being more diverse. Regardless, they utilized more hip-hop in their sound, and that’s the kind of nu-metalcore that I’ve been enjoying most, since you don’t see it as much. Recently I was just hanging out on Facebook, and sometimes I’ll scroll through the videos section, but I found the band Discrepancies, which are signed to InVogue Records. I haven’t kept up with InVogue in a hot minute, but the caption said something about combining hip-hop and rock, so I was curious, but I didn’t expect for the song to be really, really solid nu-metalcore / rap-metal.

I guess the band had released their latest LP, The Awakening, a couple of years ago, but InVogue reissued the album a couple of bonus tracks, one of them being a new song (the one that I was listening to, “Get Hype”), but I liked the album enough to check out the whole album. Despite it coming out a couple of years ago, originally, I’m going to count it as a new album, at least in 2018, because this is the first time a lot of people have heard of them, such as myself, so I want to talk about them, especially because this album is really, really damn good. I’ve been listening to the album for the last week, give or take, and it’s a wonderful record. It’s not the most groundbreaking, unique, or off the wall album I’ve heard, but that’s how it’s been for a lot of these, since these types of bands don’t necessarily break the mold, but the thing with them, however, is that they do it really well. That’s been the running theme with a lot of these reviews, because these albums are ones that aren’t necessarily breaking the mold in any way, shape, or form, but they do it well. There are a lot of elements that make this album worthwhile, and that makes the replay value really high. Part of that is how diverse this record is, because not only do they utilize rapping in their sound, they’ve got clean vocals, harsh vocals, breakdowns, catchy hooks, and groovy guitarwork. This band takes every aspect of nu-metalcore and takes advantage of it. There’s never a dull moment on this album, and what makes things better is that it all sounds great. I love the rapped vocals a lot, as they are actual bars being spat, the clean vocals have a lot of range, and the harsh vocals are surprisingly good, too. The hooks are catchy, memorable, and interesting, and the instrumentation is a mix between groovy, accessible, and heavy, since some breakdowns tend to show up here and there.

If you’re into bands like Of Mice & Men, Issues, Cane Hill, The Plot In You, Bring Me The Horizon, BackWordz, Fire From The Gods, or any number of nu-metalcore bands out there, Discrepancies is a band that will totally be on your radar. They should be, anyway, because these guys have the talent to be huge. The only thing that I didn’t mention, and I wanted to talk about it briefly, were the lyrics, because they’re another aspect that I really like. Most of the time, they do come off as rather generic “inspirational” songs about rising up, overcoming obstacles, and keeping hope alive (there’s a song called “Keep Hope Alive,” too, but it’s really solid), but there are some very socially aware songs about police brutality and racism, too, which you don’t hear from bands like this, so I’m all for hearing that. Those moments don’t happen a lot, as this band isn’t overtly political, but it’s interesting to hear. Nonetheless, this band is really talented, interesting, and enjoyable. They do have some songs that are meant to be fun, energetic, and “bangers,” too, if you will, such as “Rock The Show,” and the newer song, “Get Hype,” like I mentioned earlier. The other bonus track on this album is an acoustic version of another song on the album, “Not Alone.” What’s cool about this version is that it’s pretty much the same track, but it’s got acoustic guitar instead of electric, so all the same elements are there. That’s how you do an acoustic version, too, but this whole album is great. I can see this being one of my favorite albums of the year. When we get to June, I know I plan on revisiting a lot of these albums, and taking a look at the albums that would make a mid-year list, and this one just might make it on there, albeit quite high, too. It’s an album that I’ve been coming back to a lot, and for good reason, especially with how energetic, fun, interesting, and enjoyable it is. If you’re into any of the bands that I mentioned earlier, you owe it to yourself to check out this band, as well as this album, because it’s some top notch stuff.

#discrepancies #the awakening #get hype #invogue records #invogue #nu-metalcore #nu-metal #rap-rock #rap-metal #rage against the machine #of mice & men #issues #backwordz #fire from the gods

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riza-quevada-blog · 4 years ago

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Summed Up in Seven Artworks

I decided to synthesize my learnings by looking at the works around me. Through this, I wanted to practice my critical abilities in consuming these works and the implications of it, and not just take it as it is.

Picture Source

Using the four planes of analysis, I will be analyzing one of my favorite BTS songs, “Answer: Love Myself”. Firstly, the tune of the song is upbeat and light, giving a positive feeling to the listener. The melody would make the listener sing along and lift their spirits up a little. Secondly, the lyrics and the message it contains adds to the positive feeling its melody provides. For a little background, the song is about accepting and loving yourself despite all the flaws and the pains.

Loving myself might be harder Than loving someone else Let’s admit it The standards I made are more strict for myself

The message evokes the listeners’ emotions especially if they resonate with what they are saying. To dive deeper into the context of the work, it’s entitled “Answer: Love Myself” which is part of the album “Love Yourself: Answer”. This album is one of their albums under the Love Yourself trilogy in which they promoted self-acceptance and self-love. BTS had been making music since 2013, delving into topics that relate to the youth such as the problematic school system, romance, beauty of friendships, and the self.

I value this work in high regard due to personal reasons. It is more than just a song for me as it affected my life and how I view myself greatly. I can say the BTS’ purpose of influencing the youth positively is a success to me as an individual.

However, I could not say the same for other people. Some would refuse to listen to it just because they don’t understand Korean, or because it isn’t the genre they prefer. Despite that, I respect people’s perspectives on this song and BTS in general. This is what most fans of any artist lack. It made me realize, as I got more and more involved with fan culture, that most fanatics do not accept criticisms made towards their idols and regard them as the best among others. I find this very problematic and if you, as a fan, aren’t critical about the fan posts you consume and share, you may be part of the toxicity.

My Essay: Reading the Image

Reading my essay once again, I got deep into elaborating on the details seen in the work and the context surrounding it. However, I wasn’t able to evaluate it against the historical and present context. Historically, the “Procession of Archers” may be considered as a good artwork as it shows the usual style and theme of art back in the day. Printing was a common technique used before the invention of photography, so this type of work may be seen a lot. On the other hand, I honestly think this would not be appealing to the people of today. It may be valued as part of history, but if an artist were to create a print similar to this style, it wouldn’t be as appreciated due to the more modern ways of creating art available today.

Picture Source

In terms of art and reality, an industry that isn’t usually talked about comes to mind: the porn industry. To the extent of my knowledge, the portrayal of sex and women in pornography is incredibly toxic and harmful. Porn sites are packed with images that are more centered on women, making it seem that most videos are catered to men. This further perpetuates the concept of the male gaze; in fact, you won’t be able to see many videos catered to women’s needs. Additionally, the porn industry represents modern and postmodern simulacra: this industry capitalizes on peoples’ needs and uses the labor of (mostly) vulnerable people who had no choice but to do sex work. Furthermore, rape, abuse, child pornography, among others, are the most common illegal and unethical actions that a great number of porn videos show (although not explicitly). These are often just hinted and glossed over with an unrealistic plot and acting; if you’re not critical to the videos you consume, there’s a huge chance you may internalize these harmful notions.

I am not saying that porn is bad, as I do believe that sex work is work (but only if it’s consensual), but the body that governs this industry allows harmful (virtual) realities to take place on people’s screens, which may transcend dangerously to the actual world if these viewers aren’t critical.

Check out: @everydayimpunities on Instagram

The podcast I did with my group mates was honestly enjoyable to work on since it challenged me to think deeper about the realities presented by the work of art we chose. We picked the Instagram account @everydayimpunities which features pictures taken during the actual scenes of various social injustices nationwide, and sometimes outside the country. We tackled the work from different angles and perspectives and identified its role in the development of art. My main takeaway from this is that art always had a powerful impact on people’s awareness of social and political issues, but due to our technology today, it is even more powerful and wide-reaching. However, it also worth noting that there are still some risks and dangers in this modern technology. Although we have freedom of expression, people of power abuse their abilities to silence those who speak against them. It may be easy and convenient to just hit the Tweet button whenever we have something to say, but there might be grave consequences if we do it carelessly.

Picture Source

Adding on to the topic of BTS and K-Pop, the rise of BTS showed me the internalized superiority of the Western world. Even before, there’s this ugly perception of K-pop that made it seem like it’s ‘low art’. In the Philippines, K-pop fans were looked down upon for idolizing artists who “just sing and dance” and male idols who they called “gay” (as if it’s an insult) for wearing makeup. K-pop may be getting into the mainstream nowadays, but the rise of BTS constantly shows how Western media (and its people) are reluctant to accept an industry of talents just because they do not produce music in English. Although the said band is getting so big, they are still often mistreated by the media since they are people of color and produce music in Korean. They are treated like an “other” all the time despite being as, if not more, talented as these huge mainstream artists. In other words, they aren’t valued as artists the same way society values big singers such as Beyonce, Drake, and the like. Their songs and their listeners are often judged upon with haters saying, “why do you even listen to that? You don’t even understand it” as if translations of their wonderful messages aren’t available on the net. There’s this symbolic violence in how locals and the media react to uprising POC (people of color) artists, making it extra hard for them to enter the global scene. This issue can also be seen in other forms of art like the recent release of “Parasite” by Bong Joon Ho which achieved a well-deserved recognition but also garnered condescending criticisms from racist people.

Watching our video essay made me understand the concept behind collecting thousands of fashion items such as footwear, bags, and clothes. Although as a sustainability advocate, I do not resonate nor support it, I can’t hate on people who do collect since we all have different values and belief systems. Collecting dozens of expensive, limited-edition hype shoes that I won’t even wear once in my life may sound absurd and wasteful to me, but for some people, these are expressions and representations of a culture that they are part of. This may apply to collectors of figurines, luxury items, and even fan merchandise as well. They collect these things that have value to them personally, not necessarily aiming to appeal to what society says.

My Identity Map

My identity map consists of objects and symbols that represent who I am to the very core. It may all seem literal and that it speaks for itself, but these images display a much deeper portrayal of my core values. For instance, I am often described as a goal-oriented and organized person, setting systems to achieve my laid-out dreams. To represent this, I used images of my body goals, house goals, business goals, and lifestyle goals. However, these pictures do not only portray my goals and my dreams, but also the values I already have. I am an advocate of sustainability and a student of business. Those two combined, I aim to be a businessperson creating businesses that would be rooted in sustaining life and not centered around making a lot of money and being rich.

Among the prompts listed, I wasn’t able to depict my family and heritage, things to forget, and things to figure out. Instead of putting an image of my family, I inserted an image of BTS who I consider as the people who have created a positive impact on my growth as a person. Moreover, since I initially planned to make this as my dream board which I could look at every day to have a visual representation of my dreams, I didn’t want to put ‘things to forget’ since I would not forget it if I see it every day. (Also because it’s my fault for not knowing all prompts should be visible.)

Overall, I think this map wholly represents who I am and who I can be. As I mentioned in my write-up, I am still growing, therefore this identity map is expected to change over time.

I do not own the pictures used in this Identity Map.

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shslkarutaqueen-blog · 7 years ago

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45 Chara Dev Questions!

a la Tom Ham, ft. too much babbling.

Original Questions

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Tomoka has 4 sisters! One older and three younger, to be specific. If you’ve looked through her photo album you probably know they all kinda look the same, though they do grown into some differences when they get older. Tomo is the only one who never grows past 5′2″ eventually. It’s sad. She’s closest with her older sister, Makoto, a bartender. Makoto fought constantly with their parents, and after a long time struggling with her time as the family heir, she broke off ties and moved out on her own. As the two oldest, Tomo and Mako have seen each other through a lot of their hardships, and Tomo sympathized with Mako while Mako served as Tomo’s encouragement. They spend more time with each other these days than with any of their other family members. Kasumi is the next youngest sister, the middle child! She’s the current family heir, as Tomo dumped that responsibility onto her after she left the family as well. While the two aren’t at odds with one another, there is some minor tension between the two since they’re less close and don’t share a mutual understanding on... well pretty much anything. Next down the line is Misaki. She’s very close with Kasumi, the two call each other Zuzu and Kiki. Misaki is very high-spirited, and Kasumi finds herself often in the position of her protector.

The youngest is Kimiko! She’s mysterious and spooky... not exactly close with any of the sisters, but quite cool and collected for her age, and arguably close with their father. I hope u enjoyed that text wall for question #1.

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

??? Hamazoe (whoops!). Tomo doesn’t know either of her parents very well, as she’s lived with her grandparents for most of her childhood and currently lives alone. She holds some resentment toward them for being Garbage, but not nearly as much as Mako, who has a very personal feud. Although she doesn’t know that much about what her mother does, Tomo is aware that she used to be an olympic gold medalist, and feels somewhat sorry for her knowing she gave up her dream life to marry into the Hamazoe family and have 5 hecking kids.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Where Tomo has a bit of sympathy for her mother, she has absolutely none for her father. Again, it’s not direct animosity, but she holds a strong “Tch, Whatever” attitude towards the two for skipping out on raising their own children. ??? Hamazoe (whoops x2!) is from a long line of ambitious businessmen, and pushes the children (mostly through his parents, who actually take care of them) to be ambitious and follow extremely specific goals. He’s not all bad, but he has a severe lack of understanding as to how to raise and deal with kids. Both parents are actually fairly coddling toward Tomo, as she didn’t exactly have a formal breakoff like Mako, and they’re hesitant to burn bridges with another daughter (do they feel guilty, or do they not want bad press? who knows...). Ever since Tomo moved out, they’ve been sending her checks to help support herself, which she ‘begrudgingly’ accepts. Neither of them showed up to her Queen match! She’s a little upset over that. Just a bit.

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Not exactly? Mako having her falling out with the fam did trigger what eventually made Tomo Grow A Pair, so to say. Before then she was very domestic and abiding. Then she realized. Oh wait fuck this I don’t have to listen to other people. Eventually learned to stand up to her Grandmother and her verbal abuse etc. Ta da! Her fam is probably all aware of this.

(^^ Her potential despair fever personality was going to be this, essentially)

As far as in-game? Well... the whole dying thing definitely had an impact on her! In what way? Hey... I won’t spoil ; } (jk not much changed but she’s a bit shook and her ridiculous self-confidence is currently butting heads with delightful depression)

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Candy, Duh. Her outfits almost never have pockets, but she will make sure to carry this one thing no matter what. Similar to how she keeps thing in her sleeves, she tends to squirrel away whatever she needs in her socks, waistband, bra, you name it. Pre-doubt she always carries at least a little money on her at all times.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Cats! Also, I like to think she has dreams about idols and movies-- the kind of things she doesn’t like to talk about, but secretly loves. Historical dramas, tea in a garden, herself on a stage singing. How fun!

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Her recurring nightmare is facing off with the Meijin! He’s seriously scary! It always ends either just before she’s about to lose or right after a climactic monologue. The monologue is extra scary. Words.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Nope! And she’s not looking to try it out. Toucan Dan says No Guns No Funs.

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Heck yea! She was the heir to a rich family and then ditched it to live on her own as a teen. Admittedly, she gets money from her parents still to pay rent, but she’s nowhere near livin’ on the ritz anymore. She hangs onto some nice things, like her favorite kimonos, and buys as expensive food as she’s able, but otherwise doesn’t do amazingly for herself.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

More, I suppose? Either is fine, but less definitely has casual connotations to it. Tomo’s certainly not shy about showing skin. Being in a kimono and hakama definitely sets her in ‘game mode’, and gives her a +10 boost to confidence (hence why she feels best wearing it to all trials, as well as when she practices in order to get ‘serious’).

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Off the top of my head I’d have to say when she faced the meijin the day after her queen match. He asked her to a play a game for ‘fun’ knowing the two can’t face each other for any official ranking purposes, and his playing style absolutely pulled the floor out from under her. He’s a master of manipulation, smart as she’s ever met, and knows exactly how to push at people to get them out of their element- which is a lot to say for Tomo considering her play syle is almost the exact opposite, yet he still broke through. She still shudders thinking about him to this day.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Generally speaking Tomo is calm nearly all the time! She was amazingly serene (in her own way) during her final match against the former queen, however. Despite the way she jokes around and how brash she can be, Tomo is amazing at keeping herself genuinely collected on the inside. To truly rile her is a feat, though she loves to play around and pretend to get upset.

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Not really! She’s not a fan of blood, for sure, but it doesn’t shake her, nor is it a phobia or squick to any extent. It’s gross, but as previously mentioned, she doesn’t let that kind of stuff get to her. Whatever the circumstance is, she’ll take it objectively as it comes.

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Naaames. Not that she’s too bad at remembering people in general, but she’s used to verbal association. It probably helps that she likes to call people by their first names and nicknames! Or is that what makes it easier? Hmm...

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

It’s not her main focus in life by any means, though she has ‘’’’Refined Tastes’’’’’ so money is obviously important to, um, purchase those. She’s more materialistic than money-grubbing for certain. She likes to Have things. Though she’s also pretty good at sharing! Kind of. Er.

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Ooh... Success is very, very important to Tomoka... A big struggle for her is what success means and when she’s attained it. It’s a driving force behind the whole reason she left home, feeling like she needed to make something of herself, all on her own.

In this way... I guess success and happiness can kind of complicate one another for her sometimes? Happiness is also important, as is probably obvious just from her fun-loving YOLO attitude. She’s finding a balance. Not very well, but, y’know.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

When she was a kid they had all kinds of stuff to play with (nothing electronic, though), but she got the most enjoyment out of a rubber ball just by throwing it around and chasing after it. She got in trouble at one point with her little sisters for breaking a lantern in the garden while roughhousing, and their grandparents were like... hey.... time to cool it. Whoops.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Ambition for sure. The first thing Tomo looks for in other people is whether they stick up for themselves and whether they act on their beliefs. She’s pretty generous as to how far this extends, but generally you can assume she’s not about weak-willed folks. Wisdom is something she respects, but doesn’t find necessary. She won’t admit it, but she’s kind of envious (and maybe fearful) of people who are smart, especially if they’re on the clever side of things.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Would u trust this teen in any way to do anything right in a relationship. For one thing, she’s very self-interested, so it’s easy for her to not take into account her partner’s needs. She’s also very fickle, and can get distracted easily by things outside of relationships, especially since she’s not super romantically-inclined. In this universe.... well, she hasn’t had a proper relationship yet, so who’s to say what else could happen given the way she’s developing!

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Hmmm... well, I think Tomo likes to pick out others’ flaws to help inflate her ego, but she definitely also has a tiny chamber deep, deep in the pit of her where she files everything she sees in others she wishes she could be like, and locks it away for 300 years under 50 layers of malibu and taiyaki. One might not suspect it, but she’s very self-flagellating behind the control she’s trained into herself.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Her first response is to blame others if she can, but she likes to be objective when possible. If the situation is right, she’ll own up to making a mistake. This is less likely if she somehow manages to get frustrated or has to admit it to someone she seriously dislikes, though.

22. What does your character like in other people?

Guts! Balls! Chutzpah! She just likes people who are honest and upfront about what they’re doing. People who take life in simple stokes, and don’t try to get too crafty. Vanillas. People with Honor. That being says, there isn’t too much she dislikes in others outside of key negative traits, and it takes a lot make her dislike someone, as she’s very accepting of people as long as they’re doing what they want to do. That’s just Friends tho ! ;Y

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

Dependency. Well, she’s okay with follower-types as long as they follow along with the kind of things she likes (Thanks). She’s also not fond of things like people who complain about X but do nothing to make X change. Obviously she’s also not keen on otaku types. Nerds are her Bane.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

It can take some time, but again, she’s not one to find much to object to in others. As long as someone proves they’re being ‘real’ whatever that means to them, she finds that as admirable proof of Heart. Morality isn’t especially Tomo’s thing, so she can get very case-by-case, but otherwise she plays it loose. She likes to believe in unspoken understands, as amazingly faulty as that is.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Even if she’s close with someone, she won’t hide if she’s suspicious of them (unless that somehow goes behind gal code! yikes!). Objectivist etc etc she just plays things how they come. She won’t hold suspicion close to her heart. If it turns out to be true, then it’s usually as simple as taking a step back to square one.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Well! Tomo’s not the best with kids for sure, but she doesn’t mind them. Having 3 baby sisters separated by a decent age gap does that to a gal. Being equipped with candy usually helps. Don’t trust your kids with her, though-- if she has to entertain them, she might get them up to some serious Monkey Business. A bad influence.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

She takes it HEAD-ON. Go all out or go home. She’ll only back down from a fight if there’s a reeeeallly good reason. Simple as that. She’s very good at keeping her cool, however, despite being so trigger-happy so to speak.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

If someone is ready to have a beatdown she’s fuckin there for it. Generally speaking, though she’s respectful of not fighting with someone if they aren’t up for it. She’ll attack people of her own volition if she wants, but doesn’t like to resort to this too much, because it lends itself to poor emotional control. She’s always up for friendly fisticuffs, however! Or rival fisticuffs. Or enemy fisticuffs. She just likes sparring with people, for whatever weird obsession she has.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Tomo’s always wanted to be an IDOL or a PRINCESS, and uh. Well, not quite making the mark there. Then again, she’s really not sure what she wants to to with her life outside of short-term and silly goals.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Rotten food is a biggie. Smells really get to her, since it’s not something she’s trained to block out, and man that stuff gets a visceral reaction out of you. Non-physical objects of disgust, though? Mmm... stuff mentioned in early questions... bad attitudes (the irony), but outside of little stuff, not much???

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Challenging someone to Karuta. Haha. She also feels very comfortable at social events, especially clubs. She loves her sister’s bar (even tho ur fucking 16 kid!!!!!! have a juicy juice!!!! sit down!!).

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Doing anything that requires tactical thinking... having to be lead by someone else... but also generally working in a team is not her favorite. Surprisingly, even though she’s super social and outgoing, she hates being in teams. School is also Yuck Brain Cooties.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Unless someone’s really managed to dig at her core insecurities, she handles it quite well. She’s all about becoming a better her, but she recognizes that she lacks talent in most walks of life, and has a hard time improving at anything even when she gives a serious effort.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

At this stage in her life I think Tomo is prone to falling back on comfortable methods. If she’s in a pretty calm scenario, especially with others she likes, she’s willing to try out different stuff, but if she’s alone or gets frustrated, she can get caught in a loop that keeps going until she breaks.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

Friendllly~~ Suuuuuper casual, my guys! She’s quick to assume people are friends with her if she finds them alright, so she warms up to them in a buddy-buddy way quickly whether they like it or not. She teases often and plays around, too!

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Ignore Ignore Ignore Block Report Mute. She avoids bad vibes at all costs first and foremost. Otherwise, she can’t help but get condescending when facing them, and tries to make a wall out of her opinions. Not today, fiend.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Ooof. These are kinda closely related for her? Honor takes the lead by a hair, but she’s also about being the number one, the big boss, a leader, so if that falls then she’s taken a pretty big blow to her honor. Staying true to oneself regardless of circumstances is the most important, though.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Shuffle tf out my dude. If she can’t, or it’s a volatile threat, then Smash. And uh. Well, we know how that worked out.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

Nop... her cats might nip at her sometimes when she gets too grabby, but she doesn’t really care.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

She can get a little pushy... she doesn’t mean to come off as rude, but... let’s say she expects a lot from them? If she’s at a ramen stand and it’s taking a while to get it ready she won’t be shy about whining how hungry she is out loud. Tomo’s a little stuck in the rich kid/queenly ‘they’re a servant’ headset.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Earn! You gotta Werq It. Now, that’s not to say she isn’t hypocritical at times and feels she deserves things despite being a lazy ol bag o bones, but...

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Oh gosh... uh... I don’t think so? She’s been very closed into her family most of her life, and otherwise very self-sufficient (or has tried to be self-sufficient). She wouldn’t look to anyone outside of her family let alone within it to be a parental figure.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Same as the last question pretty much. Outside of any remaining ties to her family, she hates being dependent on other people or people being completely dependent on her, so she tries not to do this, or at the very least make major figures out of them in her life.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Easy if it’s friends! Easy if she’s drunk. Otherwise she’s a stubborn mule who thrives on rival-like relationships, so admitting it so easily is not on her agenda. Also, not exactly skilled at romantic affection, this tot.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Tomo is very superstitious! She jokes about it, but she’s also very genuinely worried about ghosts and spirits! She hopes she can have a peaceful afterlife, or be able to haunt someone into the ground if they do her wrong in death. While she’s usually scared of running out of time to be alive, she goes back and forth on whether she’s scared of the afterlife or feels optimistic about it. Very importantly, also, she doesn’t want to be forgotten!

#Iiiiiiii wrote too long answers lmao #have fun with this behemoth of a post #ooc #charadev

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adultalternative · 8 years ago

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It definitely took a while constructing this list, because I thought about my lists from the last two years, and how I usually forget about whatever I put as my final entry, and how the honorable mentions list usually takes over the top 10 and/or the albums that never clicked finally do in the new year.

1) Anti- Rihanna: I have no issue with admitting how I 180′d on Rihanna from the middle of December 2015 to February 2016. At first I didn’t really expect much from ANTI, but it somehow managed to become the soundtrack to my Spring 2016 semester. In February I was daydreaming music video concepts to Kiss it Better and Same Ol’ Mistakes. In March, I was singing along to Consideration, and nodding to Yeah, I Said It. By April, I even appreciated Higher unironically! I feel like the best works, be it in movie, music, TV, or books, motivate you to find new media based on what you liked in it. I would definitely say that ANTI did that, because Same Ol’ Mistakes was my gateway to Tame Impala.

2) X-Communicate- Kristin Kontrol: Usually, it takes a bit more for to try out someone I haven’t heard of, but within the first few seconds of the saxophone introduction in Show Me, I was hooked. If you enjoy the 80′s revival that’s been going on, you’ll enjoy this. My favorites are (Don’t) Wannabe, Going Thru the Motions, and Smoke Rings.

3) Nightride- Tinashe: There were a lot of times throughout 2016 where I gave up hope for Joyride. When Ride of Your Life was released, when her tour finished, when she herself admitted she didn’t know when the album would come out, when Super Love (Which I enjoy, but having Nightride, feels a bit Liz Phair self-titled) was released, when there still wasn’t a release date, when she did a Wonderland performance and there was still no release date.... So when Tinashe not only got to release an album but release one that is coherent and quality is incredible. I like how she didn’t try to find a way to balance her two personas on here, and instead just decided to focus on the introspective alternative R&B she’s more remembered for. My favorite songs, outside of the singles, include C’est La Vie, Lucid Dreaming, and Touch Pass.

4) Strange Little Birds- Garbage: I remember on RateYourMusic I saw a comment about Not Your Kind of People like ‘Their first four albums had different kind of personas with flaws, while Not Your Kind of People seems to be a more mature persona. I wonder where they go from here as NYKOP provided closure to the previous albums’ (I know it’s a bit of a newspaper horoscope analysis but work with me, I can’t find the original comment), which kind of described why I was curious about Garbage’s next album. Would they pull a premium cable drama move and do unnecessary reversions? Garbage had a few Record Store Day songs out in the past few years which weren’t bad, but definitely predictable. Even the lead single Empty was kind of more of the same.

Thankfully, Strange Little Birds shows that a 90′s alternative rock band can get back together while not just operating on nostalgia. If I Lost You is one of their torchiest songs since You Look So Fine. We Never Tell sounds like Nobody Asked Me (If I Was Okay) which is cool seeing as Shirley Manson wrote Red Lips. Sometimes is one of the scariest/most menacing songs not sung by PJ Harvey. And Night Drive Loneliness and Blackout are cool based on their titles alone.

5) I Like it When You Sleep, For You are so Beautiful Yet Unaware- The 1975: I’m not even going to pretend I know every song and I probably should try to learn all of them. But the fun, 80′s synthpop songs proudly anchor my 80′s playlist, and If I Believe You was the quasi-blue eyed soul song I didn’t know I needed. The lesser songs are the parts of an academic symposium where you refill your coffee before you have to go to your next class. My (Honestly, everyone’s) favorites are Somebody Else, Love Me, and She’s American.

6) The Altar- Banks: Beggin for Thread kind of went nowhere for me, so if someone told me that Banks headed more for bops with her sophomore album, I would be worried. Luckily, this change wasn’t bad. A lot of the songs might be more ‘Hear it in a fast fashion store’, but she pulls it off and still has more left-field stuff. My favorite songs include Lovesick, Gemini Feed, and Trainwreck.

7) Reflections in Real Time- Kilo Kish: I made the mistake of not taking this album seriously because of the short songs (the two songs I remember, Hello, Lakisha, and Existential Crisis Hour, felt more like skis than actual songs) and the long track list. But luckily I came back to it in time for year end lists. Kilo Kish probably writes the most introspective lyrics I’ve since Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. Distractions I: The Opposite Sex and Collected Views from Dinner are my favorites.

8) A Seat at the Table- Solange: At first listen, I was kind of disappointed that the album was as subdued as it was. I knew she had the falling out with Blood Orange, and she would probably have changed her sound regardless, but it was still kind of a bummer. However, eventually, I came around to it. Besides Cranes in the Sky, I’m shocked that no one has mentioned Don’t Wish Me Well as a highlight. That’s probably the first song I noticed on the album.

9) Control- Rosie Lowe: With Jessie Ware on maternity leave, and Banks slowly leaving the creeper alternative R&B of Goddess, we needed a new white girl doing alternative R&B, and Rosie Lowe stepped up to the bat prepared, if not courageous. Apparently, she’s been around for a few years, which I can’t believe, because none of my circles have mentioned her yet. Run Run Run is one of my favorites.

10) Seth Bogart- Seth Bogart: As of this writing, I still am not completely sure if this is my tenth favorite album. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed this album until I had to do write-ups. I thought it was too silly to even appreciate as a body of work, but now I realize that’s what I like about the album. While The 1975′s album was a bit too serious, and M83 a bit, uh, polarizing, Seth Bogart is just right for 80′s pastiche cravings. My favorite songs include Barely 21 (Tavi Gevinson will rule the world one day, so we might as well get on her good side now), Forgotten Fantazy, and Smash the TV.

Honorable mentions to follow, and then other songs I liked in 2016.

#rihanna #tinashe #kristin kontrol #garbage #the 1975 #banks #kilo kish #solange #rosie lowe #seth bogart

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kennethherrerablog · 6 years ago

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You Can Make a Living With a Music or Theater Degree. These 8 People Do

If you pursue a career in music or acting, you can either expect to make millions or live paycheck to paycheck. At least, that’s what we’re often led to believe.

There are so many people, however, who pursued music or theater in college and have gone on to find success without landing a huge film role or touring the world after dropping an album.

We spoke with eight such music and theater majors to learn more about how they were applying their degrees in unique careers.

Stand-Up Comedian/Motivational Speaker

Stacy Pederson admits that her pursuit of a theater degree seemed impractical at first, but after getting a full ride to college, she couldn’t let go of her dream to study the art. After college, she worked fast-food jobs before eventually opening her own acting school.

But Pederson’s true success came when she stumbled into stand-up. After honing the art of performance comedy, she began specializing in speaking at conferences and banquets as what she calls a “funny motivational speaker” — and it pays more than most theater majors ever dream of making. “I’m still somewhat new in the corporate speaking field, but I performed my first $10K gig in October. Not bad.”

That $10K gig didn’t come overnight, however. Pederson has worked hard to get where she is. “My biggest career advice is don’t quit,” she tells me. “It’s really difficult, especially in the beginning, to find your uniqueness in the marketplace, find your voice as an artist and train your brain to be business-minded all at the same time. You have to develop a healthy mindset around failure, rejection and plain old hard work.”

But that hard work is work she’s happy to do. Like most theater majors, Pederson cannot imagine herself spending 40-plus hours a week doing anything else. “When something is your passion, your gift, but also your purpose, you are more apt to deal with the bumps and bruises you’ll experience along the way.”

Cruise Ship Pianist

Emiliano Messiez studied music in Spain, Brazil and his home country of Argentina before becoming an internationally acclaimed tango pianist. Currently, Messiez plays in New York City at venues like Trinity Church, Lincoln Center and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, but he has also toured the world playing the piano on cruise ships for more than 10 years.

“It is my way of expression and a wonderful way to connect with people,” Messiez says. “Audiences always change, and that is something that I really like — to see how people from different nationalities and backgrounds react to my music.”

Inbound Marketing Manager

Diana Polansky’s career in marketing with SaferVPN is one that is common for graduates of theater and fine arts programs. That’s because theater training gives students the confidence to speak with clients and the ability to understand what makes people tick — valuable skills also in the fields of customer service and sales.

“I don’t have a degree in marketing specifically,” Polansky says, “but my education in fine arts and theater helps me a lot in my day-to-day job. Working in marketing, especially in B2C [business-to-consumer], requires a lot of creativity and the ability to think outside the box and come up with new angles and ideas. I love that my job is creative, dynamic and a job where I can use my degrees.”

Polansky’s favorite part of her job? It’s in Israel, even though she was born and raised in the United States. She explains, “While new media has infinitely expanded the American job market for artists, filmmakers and writers in the last decade, I still encourage people with these degrees to consider working abroad. Moving to a new country and starting a life from scratch is, of course, challenging and sometimes tough, but it’s always exciting.”

Director of Music

After getting her Bachelor of Arts in music composition and master’s degree in music business, Chloe Raynes carved out a career as a successful freelance music supervisor, which she balanced with talent booking for live events and videos. She has even worked on indie films and plays guitar in a band.

Most recently, however, Raynes earned the role of director of music for Aaptiv, where she uses her unique ability to identify the right song for the right opportunity, to help 15 personal trainers design playlists for fitness programs.

“My job is multifaceted, which keeps it exciting,” Raynes says. “In a given day, I’ll be planning a campaign with an artist, negotiating a music license or working with the music-curation team on playlisting strategies. The combination of my education in music composition and music business has provided the foundation for a diverse skill set.

“My favorite part of my career is when I get to be creative,” she continues. “I love scouting new artists for partnerships and collaborating with the trainers and our marketing team to produce great content.”

CEO/Founder of a Women’s Health Advocacy Company

Kaitlin Christine Nordby spent the early part of her career in medical sales, despite earning a theater degree. During her time in the field, however, she was exposed to myriad flaws in our health care system. The biggest problem she saw? Patients and women were not getting the information they needed — and deserved — from their health care providers.

Nordby passionately offers up an example: “Prevention is the cure for cancer. There is so much that can be done before a woman gets cancer to significantly decrease her risk of getting cancer, and it is not being addressed. Women need to know about it.”

That’s why Nordby has started her company, called HERstory, which “will not only put this knowledge in the hands of women to empower them, but aid in patient navigation and engagement so they can take control of their health.”

So what role has her education in theater played in all this?

“What theater allowed me to do was apply my passions to a cause,” Nordby says. Theater, according to Nordby, forces audiences to think differently, just as she is doing with her company. It was theater that taught her, “We can’t just accept things because that is how they have always been. We need to ask why. Theater makes you do that. I would not be doing what I am today without the holistic education and questioning I was forced to do as a theater major.”

Publicist/Marketer for Musical Artists

Stephanie Janes studied vocal performance at the University of Delaware before getting her master’s degree in arts administration from Drexel University. She now uses her education to run her own PR firm for nonprofit performing arts organizations and musical artists, such as opera singers and composers.

In her role, Janes writes press releases, does marketing and crafts budgets. She also pitches upcoming client concerts to members of the media. “Making videos and taking photos for social media is becoming a bigger part of today’s PR landscape for getting audiences excited about the performing arts, so I also arrange media shoots to make sure we have compelling imagery and videos available,” she says.

As a classically trained singer, Janes finds this line of work incredibly fulfilling. “It is so rewarding to turn the hard work of performers into an interesting pitch for a journalist to run with. I also love seeing the audiences as they leave a show. They are so happy and inspired by the performing artists.”

Actor/Teacher

Another thing you can become with a degree in acting? An actor — go figure. And you don’t have to move to Los Angeles or New York to do so. Regional theaters in cities like Chicago, Austin, Texas, and Toronto are common destinations for those pursuing a career in theater or film, but Rae Buchanan has found success as an actor and teacher in Cincinnati, Ohio.

To pay her mortgage and other bills, Buchanan balances roles in several professional theaters like Know and The Playground, teaches acting classes, does voice work and recently signed on to a gig as a hospital clown. She and her husband also rent out the other half of their duplex for extra cash because, as Buchanan points out, working as an actor can be financially challenging.

“Being a working actor is not a stable career, so it is important to have a budget, save and work those side hustles,” Buchanan tells me.

It’s also not an easy career, but according to Buchanan, it’s worth it. “I am constantly putting myself out there — looking for auditions, connecting with theater companies, offering my services as a teaching artist or creating my own workshops. Imagine if you were constantly on a job search, even when you have work. That’s my life. It’s both stressful and exciting.”

Mix Engineer

A music engineering and technology graduate of the University of Miami, Blake Eiseman runs his own business as a mix engineer, Binksound. Eiseman mixes hit records for internationally acclaimed artists and undiscovered musicians on independent labels.

His work with Usher on the 2004 “Confessions” album earned Eiseman a Grammy nomination. Eiseman also worked with TLC, Boyz II Men, Justin Bieber and James Brown. A career highlight was working on the opening and closing ceremonies for the 1996 Olympics, for which he recorded and mixed with Stevie Wonder, B.B. King, Al Green, Little Richard, The Pointer Sisters and Gloria Estefan.

“When an artist hands their project over to me, that is actually quite an honor — to know that they are entrusting me with something they have put a lot of effort into, from writing, recording, producing and performing this piece of work,�� Eiseman says. “Now they are handing it over to me and trusting me to take it over the finish line. That’s actually a big responsibility, and I don’t take it lightly.”

Follow Your Passion

These eight roles are just the start of it. In addition, music majors often go on to work in radio and broadcasting, teach music to children and adults or sign musicians as an agent for a record label (if they don’t become musicians themselves).

Theater majors can fill a wide range of roles as well, including vocal coaches and speech therapists; tour guides; lighting, costume, set or sound designers — the tech side is more lucrative than acting, Buchanan says — and even models.

Studying music or theater at the college level may not lead to the most lucrative future, but if you are passionate about either subject, it can certainly bring you success and happiness. And as an English major who spends his days actually doing what he loves, I can vouch for how important that is.

Timothy Moore is an editor and freelance writer who fancies himself as an actor in his spare time. He lives in Germantown, Ohio, with his partner and two dogs.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

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You Can Make a Living With a Music or Theater Degree. These 8 People Do published first on https://justinbetreviews.tumblr.com/

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selenaslittletalks · 7 years ago

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2017

It’s that time again, and I already know this one will be particularly difficult to write.

I’ll begin with last year’s resolutions:

1. Exercise more and eat healthier. This is probably as cliché as it gets. And it’s probably one that is broken the most. I’m getting older, and my body is deteriorating. 2. Appreciate the little things more. I take so much for granted, and I think I need to be more appreciative of everything that happens.3. Make friends.You have like none. You should be more social and find a group of people that click with you for once. Find friends that you share interests with. Find friends who you’re genuinely happy to be around. Find friends who you can be yourself around.4. Appreciate myself more and be happier. This one is going to be hard. I know it. I’ve been trying to do this for years. Keep working at it. Things won’t always go your way, that’s okay. Understand your own limitations. Understand your greatness. Appreciate all the good you do and stop paying so much attention to the bad. Do more of what makes you happy. Try to do these.

Well gee, I don’t think I did any of these. They are all however things I’d still would very much like to work on next year, so I’ll probably carry them over onto 2018, possibly with some modifications because they are pretty broad. This year, I’m not really sure how I want to format this. I’m thinking start with the good and gradually go to the bad, then entertainment mentions, and then resolutions. Yeah, that sounds alright. The biggest thing that happened this year was I graduated college. I got my undergraduate degree in Computer Science. And honestly, I didn’t enjoy that period or milestone as much as I should have. I’ll get to why in a bit. I bought myself a Nintendo Switch this year. I’ll admit it was pretty impulsive, but I don’t regret it one bit. I haven’t owned a console since a Nintendo DS Lite, so it’s definitely been a while. It’s an amazing piece of technology. It’s portability, and ability to be docked is insane. And I’ve played probably one of my favorite games ever, Super Mario Odyssey. I love it so much. I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun as I did playing this game. I’m looking forward to new features and titles to be released next year.

I got my first official full time job as an associate software developer. It’s been a difficult and long journey, but I did it. Let’s get into it shall we. This year has been probably the most difficult yet. I’ve had countless nights of sobbing on the floor. Curled up, headphones in, and just bawling my eyes out. I had so many of these episodes. I even documented some of them as they were happening, and I was at my lowest point ever. I didn’t know my purpose in life. I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt lost. I felt worthless. I hated myself. I didn’t want to live. It was a vicious cycle. And what’s crazy was it was all self-inflicted. I put an insane amount of pressure on myself to find a job. Seeing all of my peers become successful and start their careers and lives, while I was left behind in the dust destroyed me. To cope with this, and to try to maintain what little remained of my sanity, I closed myself off from everyone and everything. I detached myself from society. In hindsight, I think that was the best thing I could do, granted I didn’t have a single person I could entrust with anything. Or a person that would understand what I was going through. And going through all of that alone forced myself to maintain focus on me and disregard any and all things others were doing. It was a terrible time, but I overcame, and learned a lot about myself, life, and the world. Right now, I don’t think I am happy. I am more so, just relieved that I am no longer caught in the vicious cycle of the job-seeking and interview process. I am just content that I have a source of income, that I am learning, and that I am moving forward, no matter how small a step it’s still toward the right direction. Did I think that once I got a job that every awful feeling would evaporate from my blood and bones? Yes, I did. And I was naive in believing that. The problem is deeper, and I’m still working at it. What I learned from all of this was that a lot of those sayings and advice that people give you are true. It’s just very difficult to live by them. Don’t compare yourself to others. Have faith and belief in yourself. You can do anything if you work hard for it. Nothing is ever guaranteed. Expectations are hardly ever the same as reality. These, and a whole slew of others applied to me. It’s insane to me, to reread some of these posts during or after some of my breakdown episodes. It’s a strange phenomenon, of being able to reflect on how awful you felt once before. And it’s amazing to see yourself in a better place, overcoming all of the treachery. I think I need to give myself a lot more credit than I do. I know I need to appreciate myself, and love myself more. Because, I am stronger than I know. Coming out of all of this proves just that. Even in those moments where I felt powerless and worthless, I somehow mustered enough to continue and fight on. I think in large part, entertainment had a lot to do with that. TV has always been one of my greatest passions in life. I pride myself on how many TV series I’ve seen and episodes I’ve watched. This year I watched a lot of good shows, old and new. The Gifted - I think this show only got on my radar from SDCC posts. I saw one of my favorite fellow Asians, Jamie Chung was in it as Blink, and it was in the X-men Universe so I was already sold. The show was a lot better than I anticipated. And I also ended up loving Polaris the most, oops. And this show gave me Emma, who is now one of my favorite humans. Marvel’s Runaways - I originally wasn’t planning on watching this at all. But something compelled me to one evening, and I watched the first 3 episodes. I’m glad I did. It gave me my goth witch queen Nico. And this show just keeps getting better and better every week. The Punisher - I loved Frank Castle in Daredevil S2, so it was a no brainer to watch this. It had all the blood and gore I was anticipating, and it even got me to feel Kastle things, WHICH I WAS NOT READY FOR. All the flashback with Maria and the kids, hurt me to no end. Frank can just be murdering people and I’ll be all THAT’S MY BB PROTECT HIM. Which he clearly doesn’t need any help with btw. The Bold Type - This was probably one of the most important shows for me and I almost gave up on it. I watched the pilot and wasn’t crazy about it and quit for about 2-3 weeks. Then one night, I got bored and watch the new episodes on Hulu, and I got sucked in. This show came to me in the way the universe and fate work. It’s about three 20-somethings navigating their careers, love lives, relationships, and life in general. I think it’s a show that we’re lacking and I’m glad that it exists in the world. It’s relatable on numerous levels, going through similar struggles in finding a career and friends. And I’ll always love and support shows that feature strong female characters and relationships. And I am beyond grateful that Freeform renewed it for 2 more seasons. American Horror Story - I tried this long ago, but came back to it because of Stevie. I learned she was in Coven and I watched it because of her. I loved it. And I got a new fave out of it as well. Jessica Lange. She’s incredible. Big Little Lies - This was getting a ton of buzz from award shows, and it was star-packed so I was all in. I loved every bit of it, except that it was too white. But the heavy topics of domestic abuse, infidelity, sexual assault, and the societal pressures to hide all our insecurities and flaws were depicted perfectly. And the overall theme and ending of women helping women to stand up against men is something we all need to live by. Movies I watched this year that amazed me. In the Mood for Love - This film has been haunting me ever since Summer of 2014, where I took a film studies class and the professor showed the corridor clip from this movie to demonstrate a tracking shot and I never wrote down the name of it. And since then I’ve been desperately trying to find it. But one night, I was on youtube and randomly stumbled upon a top 10 mojo saddest movies (or something along those lines), and I saw this movie in Chinese. I’m like huh, this looks interesting I want to watch it. And then the next clip showed the corridor scene. I almost screamed. And I immediately watched it afterwards. I found the entire film on youtube. I wanted to like this movie a lot. And it lived up to what I was hoping for. And this movie really opened the door for me to watch more Hong Kong cinema. It basically set the ball in motion for me to go on a Wong Kar-Wai binge. I’ve watched almost all of his movies. But most importantly, I think it showed me that Asians are more than capable of acting, directing, and the whole shabang. And it set a fire in me to always support Asians in Hollywood, because we are far underrepresented. And there’s really no reason why, because all of Hong Kong cinema show that we have the art form down to a T, I think we just haven’t had the opportunity to shine. Thelma and Louise - I saw this on Hulu, and I remember this being one of Emilia’s favorite films, and I’ve always heard that it was a cult classic. I watched it one night, and I was blown away. It’s been a long time since a movie wowed me. It’s everything I’ve always wanted. I wanted a best friend and a relationship exactly like Thelma and Louise. Where’s my Louise!?! Wonder Woman - This movie was amazing. It was the first time I watched a female superhero on screen. I love Gal and everything she put into this movie. I love everything Wonder Woman stands for, and I love the empowerment that it’s given women all across the world. I love how I felt walking out of that theater feeling like I could do anything. Albums that came out this year. I See You - The XX: This is probably my favorite album of the year. I also saw The XX live, and they were incredible as expected. I was only 1 person away from the stage. Goals and resolutions for next year. 1. Make more friends and be more sociable. I want to go to meetups and take classes to meet like minded individuals. I think I’ve never found friends that have the same interests as me and we never really had anything in common. I think this is an important, if not vital, factor in any friendship. Without it, there’s nothing to bond you together.

2. Love yourself fully. If this year has taught me anything, it’s taught me how important it is to love and to believe in yourself. At the end of the day, you’re all you have. And if no one is there for you, you should at least be there for yourself. It makes no sense to hate who you are. Embrace yourself. All your flaws, your strengths, your mind, your heart, and your soul. Be true to yourself, and fight for yourself. And never, ever waver from who you want to be and who you are.

2017, you’ve been the worst to me. But through you, I’ve learned so much about myself and about life. You taught me valuable lessons. You broke me. But I’m still standing, and 2018 will be the year I rebuild myself. 2018 will be the year I take what is mine. 2018 will be the year I flourish.

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