#i went through so many ideas of how to realistically and naturally get them in a situation again before realizing

[rosylix]

holy shit dude I think I just died. THAT WAS SO GOOD ACTUALLY HELLO??? I was like "awww how cute felix is being cuddly I love hi- OHHHHH MY GOD" but this was really really good my heart was like beating so hard AHHH

LURUQKFMSNFJSN haha. that was the intended reaction LMAO im so glad you liked it 😭🩷🩷 thank you so much jsnjfjskd 🫶🫶🫶💕

[trans-axolotl]

okay making a separate post bc i don't really want to get into any drama but like.

idk. intersex is such a broad umbrella term!! there's many ways we have overlap in our experiences. all of us are impacted by intersexism. all of us are impacted by compulsory dyadism.

it's true that there are many of us who don't fit into dyadic ideas about cisness or transness. like, for example idk if i would ever call myself ftm. like i was assigned nothing at birth for about a week and then eventually assigned female at birth and then i went through a testosterone based puberty naturally and then was put on estrogen and anti-androgens and started growing a chest and then went on testosterone got top surgery and then and then and then. anyway its like i am an intersex trans man but im not female to male, im not a dyadic trans man, i don't resonate with endosex transition timelines whatever whatever whatever. but my identity as trans is important to me, whatever.

i know many intersex people who don't see themselves as either cis or trans and just identify as intersex. i know many trans intersex people who it's complicated. i know many cis intersex people who identify as cis but it's complicated. so i don't feel like i would ever say like "oh all cis intersex people experience this thing" or "all cis intersex people have this social location etc etc etc" "All cis intersex people don't experience this kind of discrimination."

but at the same time i am SO tired of seeing ppl make umbrella statements that are like "this thing applies to all trans intersex people" "this thing applies to all cis intersex people" and especially when it comes to saying that all cis intersex people don't sometimes have cis privilege in certain contexts or that cis intersex people can't be transphobic.

bc idk after studying the past 30 years of american intersex activism for my thesis one of the things that CONSISTENTLY jumps out to me is the tension between queer intersex community, and medicalized intersex community that is almost exclusively cis. like so many of the dsd organizations, throughout their past 15 years, have EXPLICTLY made comments disparaging other intersex organizations, calling them too militant, saying that they're ruining the intersex community because they ally with trans people like. all this transphobic bullshit. the dsd organizations today still use very gendered language, let radfems do fucking whatever in their organizations, advocate for surgery and so much other bullshit. like that actively harms trans intersex people especially in a situation where we have such limited resources. there are SO few resources for our specific diagnoses. like if i need medical information for my specific variation, if i need information on like, medication routines, genetic testing, complications, comorbidities, etc etc etc, i HAVE to go to a transphobic organization to get those resources. because there is literally not another diagnosis specific organization that exists! it's the only one! and it means that there are so many more barriers to me accessing the resources, community, and care that i need. because of transphobic intersex people. like. thats an example of how some cis intersex people really cling to their cisness, try to weaponize their cis privilege, and actively cause intracommunity discrimination. you know?

like. idk. i just think that we need to be realistic! in terms of intersex intracommunity things, there absolutely is a lot of transphobia! not from everyone, not saying that every intersex person is either cis or trans, with the understanding that every cis intersex persons experience is still shaped by compulsory dyadism and that shapes how we're viewed as our "real" gender or ways that society thinks we "fail" at our gender but just.

im tired! im tired.

[fr-wiwiw]

well, to indulge myself i'm writing this post to ramble and share a bit of my Gahan barbarian!au. it's going to be a bit of a long post i think, we'll see.

i saw noel's post about their gladiator!yohan & prince!gaon (check it here!) and it makes me miss writing the arranged marriage barbarian!au i have, it only has what.. 3 or 4 chapters I think. you can read it here.

i've always been fascinated by the visuals of medieval, historical, period era. even post apocalyptic future settings like Horizon Zero games franchise.

i think i started au bcs i've played too much Assassin's Creed Valhalla— i haven't finished it yet, too preoccupied with Monster Hunter World— but i have sketched my female Eivor several times in my sketchbook. this was when i'm curious and interested enough to draw human but haven't fully grasped the gesture, anatomy, shapes and all. i usually draw what i take interest on and it helps me tremendously, to keep on learning and push through my frustrations.

and of course.. my Gahan brainrot picked it up. hence the barbarian!au for TDJ born

i have sketches of Gahan in this au, i think i've shared them here too but i'll re-share here. it doesn't catch many eyes, i admit it's a bit of a bummer but I like the idea anyway. I used to imagined them before I went to sleep, now it's idol/celeb!gaon x mysterious husband!yohan that's occupying my mind. but anyways! here are the sketches.

1st sketch is me trying to see his body proportion in viking/barbarian attire. the upper left sketch was me wanting to see modern Yohan stripping off his clothes ig haha.. anyways, between Gaon/Jinyoung and Yohan/Jisung, it's VERY difficult to nail down his face. less lines doesn't resembles him at all and add some more lines he looks too realistic to my simplified version of Gaon/Jinyoung. it was hard trying to find the balance for these characters to be in the same picture and look like they belong in the same style. i want to do Yohan/Jisung's pretty face justice but i still struggled in this sketches. i think this was 2021? 2022?

2nd sketch— his long protruding neck lmao i haven't fully grasped how a person can pose naturally but it came out as if he has turtle neck syndrome going on. well done Yohan! you are a turtle apparently according to my hand. all jokes aside, this was me attempting to paint his face bcs i never really attempted to paint gahan. i doodled and sketched more than i paint/rendering and i'm on my way to learn more of rendering daily if possible, alongside with my daily sketches. you can also see i've tried to give some color to his attire and some medallion or such. do you see a braid there? i will get there, the braid is something significant in this story ;)

3rd sketch is basically me planning out his character design as a barbarian/viking chief. you can see bits of references cuts here and there, took me quite some time bcs i just started to really try my hands on concept character design properly— i love cloaks and capes and vikings has exactly just that, and the winter times are especially my favorite type of attire on them so i thought why not give Yohan polar bear fur as his official formal attire while still flaunting his wonderful body to the world be it summer or winter lmao. here's where you know it's fantasy. i'm sure people back then drink ales and what not to keep their body warm so they can go bare-chested in winter even but i'm sure the day after that they will regret it. but i make Yohan and his clan to have special abilities for living in cold places. doesn't mean i don't make them wear winter attire but this is only bcs i want him to be bare-chested xD the one I post here was before i dabble on the sketch a bit more. hopefully one day i can share it again with more updates for this au.

now.. onto Gaon's sketches.

he's a Prince in this story. his parents, the King and the Queen, arranged a marriage for him for political reasons. but they have special reasons as to why they pick Yohan, aside from political purposes, to be their son's betrothed and gave him away to Yohan's barbarian clan.

1st sketch (ignore the upper left, that's Jinyoung from his other drama). i want to see him in medium and long hair length. there's a purpose to this. he has his canon Gaon hairstyle when he was the Prince in the palace. but with time and some adjustments living with Yohan and his barbarian clan rubs off on him. perhaps it's due to that, or he's grown tired to cut it off again and again (he has no one to groom him properly now unlike in the palace), practical reason is to maintain heat around his neck while in winter, or it's his idea of adapting and blending in with the enemy. you can't blame him for being wary. he's whisked away from his comfort place and home and married off to a fearsome and famous barbarian on the land at that time, almost willingly got raped by Yohan on 1st chapter (yes, you read that right). other reasons why he grows his hair, as i mentioned the culture rubs off on him, is something to do with the hair braiding too. and personal reason is that i want to see pretty Gaon in long hair lol

2nd sketch on the left was him on early days on Yohan's fur beddings. the right was him perhaps laughing out loud by some surprising and amusing thing Yohan said after living with him for some months, you can see the different hair length there. gosh he looks unalive in here lol idk why.. my sketches were still rigid here

3rd sketch is them after establishing a genuine intimate relationship and Yohan has to be away to fend off some unexpected visitors. unfortunately it cost Yohan some of his men's lives. but he made it back to his clan and his betrothed. i make it as if Gaon was anxious waiting for him and one of the barbarian shouted for Yohan's arrival and he ran immediately. lunged at Yohan perhaps, the barbarian Chief managed to catch him but didn't quite have the strength to carry them both upright as the weariness sinks into him post battle & adrenaline wearing off of him. he's home now, in Gaon's arms.

now.. the hair braiding.

barbarians/viking has long hair and braids on their hair. styled cascading down or up into a pony tail or a mohawk and such. idk if this is historically correct but i'm winging most of this anyway but the idea of braids in this story is that it's significant to lovers. it's a mark between special intimate relationship (like lovers, spouses, soulmates). one can have a braid or braid their lover's hair should they wish to, it's very intimate and special for them. jeweleries might have certain status symbol for them and their ranks but I also prefer these barbarians have something simple to symbolize their intimacy. something that can get overlooked but enough for their significant other to know (and some people) what it means.

I like the idea of Yohan having accessories for his attire but his hair is clean from braids. clearly it's saying something if you've read this far and seeing my sketches for their different stages of relationship. over the years of them finally developing feelings and genuinely established a relationship, despite already being married an Gaon almost got raped by Yohan, they are lovers.

yet Yohan never really initiates anything about him wanting to have braid(s) or braiding Gaon's hair. he might have explained about what braids are to Gaon when the bambi was curious or off-handedly commented something about it. Gaon really finds out the real meaning from Yohan's ppl and he wonders why Yohan never asks or wants braids from him. then he realizes Yohan has always been respectful to him, even years after that night he almost raped him. always keeping healthy distance, outside of their sex and other intimate physical affections, he usually waits until Gaon ask first regarding intimate things. not that he never initiates things, he figures something as serius and committed as this is something Gaon wants to have an option to bail out from. they were arranged to have marriage for political reasons after all, Gaon has the freedom to not have feelings for him as long as he stays within the wedding pact rules Yohan make with the King & the Queen ( for Gaon's sake too). He never expects to have feelings for the Prince and he always keeps the option of Gaon falling out of love of him one day. it is only fair, he thinks.

but then Gaon asks him if he wants Gaon to braid his hair. the Prince never ceases to make him falter. it still shocks and amuses him, to have someone have this much effect on him. even with nervousness and blushing state Gaon is in now after uttering those words.. Yohan wonders what he has done to have this kind of luxury to have someone this precious in his arms.

and if his people noticed a single braid just near the back of his neck when wind swept his hair or if he pulls his hair into a ponytail on hot summer days? they will all grin smugly.. Yohan likes to keep it a bit hidden from view mainly bcs it's practical and he doesn't want ppl to accidentally graze it off when he's having friendly wrestle matches or axe practices. or even having people cut it off when he's at war. he doesn't hide it per se, it's visible when it's visible. Gaon smiles sweetly and adoringly when he finds this out bcs to him, it feels as if Yohan is unconsciously protecting it. protecting their relationship, protecting Gaon.

and if Gaon walks out of Yohan's tent, that days when he asks if he can braid Yohan's hair, with a braid or several on his hair? visible to everyone? the people cheer and roar in celebration. they throw a huge feast and toast to their relationship, congratulating the power couple. wishing the gods to give these two their blessings and to protect them. they're finally able to see their Chief have a partner that is equal to him. it's a memorable day

but if you think this story doesn't come with heavy angst, tears, pain and betrayal.. well think again ;))

i will stop here. thankyou for reading! i hope i can pick up this au again in my drawings & writings

[mysteryflavorsoda]

Rurik Liderc and the stereotype of the broken (but sexy) anti-hero

(and how it makes him worse as a character)

Heyy, I'm back, kind of! This is my first actual rant, so I'm sorry if it's a bit boring or confusing. Feel free to ask me anything! This is just something that I've always had looming in the back of my mind, and I really want to talk about it. 

In October 2005, Pop Punk band Green Day released their seventh studio album, American Idiot. It follows the life of the central character, Jesus Of Suburbia, a middle-lower-class all-American teen who hates his town and pretty much everything. He's pretentious, a rebel, angsty; a faithless, working-class man who hates the system he's placed in, screaming for the rebels living in post-2000s America. It comes as no surprise, then, that @angeutblogo's Lasser would inspire her iconic character, Rurik Lidérc, off the song that describes this main character.

As the years went by, Rurik gained more and more traits, hobbies, a story, friends, and of course, multiple lovers. As it is today, you could call him a multifaceted character- I'm here to say that this perhaps might've been his downfall, too. As it stands, Rurik is a badly constructed character, where new information contradicts old information and traits that are not in line with the logic set upon him initially are imposed. It seems that the creators try and stuff him to the brim with different exciting ideas, but ultimately end up getting a messy clump of characteristics that results in many users having to redefine him with headcannons and rereadings, myself included, because he ends up being so confusing.

First, Rurik being a US Army veteran is one of the biggest pillars in his personality. Although not a lot of information is revealed about that part of his life specifically and the effects it had on him, we can deduce that it greatly affected him in more than one way, changing him fundamentally; PTSD. A prime example is that Lasser has stated that he has an aversion to loud noises, such as fireworks and thunder, but then proceeds to state that it only makes him have a minimal response of being "more alert". How can he be fundamentally changed as a person due to trauma and still only suffer minor damage? Are the creators afraid of making a character that's fully and realistically traumatized by war because it would compromise his appealing "sexy bad boy" nature? But then, that very nature is driven forward by the very fact that he's traumatized, that he's "angsty". It just confuses me how posts speaking of his trauma are immediately followed by posts describing his kinks and hypersexuality, and descriptions of his mental state are switched out for retellings of future events where "everything is all right finally", not bothering to make him go through the process of recovery, and research of trauma responses or toxic relationships is traded for discussions of what motorbike he has. It almost seems like the creators want him to be many different things that cancel each other out.

Thus, this contradiction leads us to the next point: Dante and Rurik have an open relationship, despite Rurik being shown to be possessive and emotionally immature. Rurik is, in simple terms, a manchild at times, stalking Dante when he feels like it, being insecure, and being sad by small things Dante says, in addition to threatening his exes. Those are toxic, insecure behaviours, of course, but it gets brushed off as "oh, but it ends in them sexually punishing each other" (going into how their relationship is sexualized, but that's a topic for another day), which in itself is contradicting because it's written to be a healthy relationship that's good for the both of them. And yet, we get bombarded with recounts of Dante being toxic to Rurik and vice-versa. He's also said to get extremely uncomfortable when Dante flirts with other women because he "can't compare", so how on earth could they have an open relationship without constant interventions and fights?

I believe that, if Rurik is insecure, it would naturally cause him to believe that Dante is replacing him if he flirted with another person. This is because he has a fragile ego, and people like him tend to fall into that insecurity (speaking out of experience and my interest in human psychology), and it would lead to constant fights, doubts, manipulation, and overall a bona fide toxic couple. Perhaps even worse than Lurik, as Dante is constantly described as psychopathic and manipulative, even to Rurik himself. They're shown to kind of fix everything with sex and "punishments", downplaying the other's insecurities and genuine feelings and promoting unhealthy dynamics. Rurik is not written to be someone who could have an open relationship that would be fair to himself and Dante, and yet, they push on, because of course they do; they are entirely centred around having sex, after all.

So, where am I going with all this? In all the glamourized media that we see, there's a strong tendency to try and make perfect characters. Rurik Lidérc is broken, angsty, insecure, and repressed, but that doesn't get in his way at all! All he wants is sex, drugs, and rock and roll. He reminds me of James Hurley from Twin Peaks: his conflict can be so well-explored, his trauma could be so fleshed out and the effects of trauma on the human mind could have given us a beautiful story of redemption, of growth, of understanding. But God, he just keeps making out with Donna all the damn time, and the camera always focuses on him like he's in a Playboy magazine. The realism, the beauty, the relatability- it's all sacrificed for middle schoolers to ogle at him and go "Wow, he's so misunderstood! I could fix him!". But that comes at the cost of a character that has the full potential to be truly amazing, as I've seen with my friends in the fandom.

When you look at Rurik Lidérc, he comes across as well-researched because he's traumatized, but it doesn't take long before you realize that that's quite a far-fetched idea. It seems like he's just a list of ideas and randomness that no one bothers to organize, and that deeply saddens me because I've seen the interesting directions he could be taken in, and I just wish the love and care put into this character also shined through through the creators.

[everythingloveandanimated]

Something I would love to see in subsequent World of Eragon books is Murtagh riding Saphira. Even better they go on a mission together.

Had this idea (not sure how feasible it is) that Murtagh’s mission to expose and defeat the Draumars takes him to Farthen Dur. Saphira firmly advises that she be the one to take him. She has the better rapport with the Dwarves and can use that to protect Murtagh, and if Thorn begins to feel claustrophobic, there isn’t easy access to the open sky and the dwarves could get hurt in his haste to break for open air.

Murtagh agrees for Thorn’s sake and safety

There’s reluctant agreement from Thorn plus a subconscious thought that he is not good enough for his rider but it’s decided nonetheless.

Murtagh is obviously nervous as they approach Farthen Dur. Not to mention a bit guarded from Saphira. The journey through the Beor’s is like a journey down memory lane. They speak of their journey, they speak of the first major moral disagreement between him and Eragon. Safira gives her input, Eragon was young and very set in his moral code. But she does agree that if Torkenbrand had fought, the results would’ve been the same. Murtagh notes that she doesn’t condemn his actions, she accepts them far easier than Eragon did, and she seems to understand his mindset better. (like Thorn, she notes that Murtagh seems to be part dragon. She is quite pleased with this little tidbit of revelation of Murtagh‘s character. Murtagh can feel her approval, it briefly helps his mood.)

Throughout their flying, she explains how Eragon sees Murtagh and acknowledges that the opposite nature of their upbringings do cause a rift of understanding in their relationship.

He faces Orik for the first time in a long time. (not many ideas for this part.) Later Orik tells him that he will never forgive him for killing Hrothgar but as long as he is king he will allow Murtagh and Thorn to keep their lives as thanks for their part in helping Eragon defeat Galbatorix.

The grudge is something that Murtagh expected and accepts with grace as well as heaviness in his heart. However, Orik’s decree that their lives are secure under his kingship surprises him.

During their visit Murtagh and Saphira stand in the very place Eragon and Arya stood when the Twins’ ambush happened.

Murtagh: That’s where it all went wrong.

Saphira makes a regretful sound and moves her head towards him in an approximation of a hug.

Saphira: I am so sorry, Murtagh. Our best chance to save you from Galbatorix would have been right here. I flew as fast as I could but I was too late. Arya went to look for you in the tunnels but when she found your bloody clothes and couldn’t see you by scrying she assumed the worst and us along with her. We failed you, and you and Thorn have suffered greatly for our failure.

Murtagh: (touching Saphira’s jaw) Thank you. But you were supposed to think I was dead. The twins told Galbatorix’s spy master Yarek that I was here. Yarek was the one who made the plans for my abduction and told the twins what to do.

Saphira: you told Eragon our first night here that you didn’t want the Empire to know where you were. Bringing you here endangered you and sealed your fate. Exactly what you were trying to avoid.

Murtagh: True. (he reminisces about his first time in Farthen Dur. He would not have met Nasuada if he hadn’t come. Would not have experienced her surprising kindness, and in a way Ajihad’s kindness. He was treated far better than he ever expected to be by those two.)

Saphira also brings him to the star sapphire. She explains how she fixed it using the collective emotions of the dwarves present, as well as her own admiration for the construction of Tronjheim and overall craftsmanship of the dwarves. She tells him how angry and heartbroken they were at her for destroying it in the first place. How they forgave her after she had made amends. She gives him a realistic hope for forgiveness his own debts. Opening himself up and sharing his experience, allowing other people to connect with him, will go along way in redeeming himself. He’s unsure sharing such painful raw parts of himself. Saphira assures him that he can show as much as he’s comfortable with, but should also show enough to cure ignorance.

After a moment he states his own forgiveness of her for not flying fast enough to save him, and for not being able to march on Uru’baen sooner to help save him and Thorn. Another approximation of a hug with her head and neck, while he hugs a section of her neck.

Because it wouldn’t be a true World of Eragon segment without some sort of fight turning everything sideways, some sort of conflict happens. Orik and Murtagh each have moments where they protect each other. 

Murtagh explains his mental situation and decision to kill Hrothgar. Orik gets a level closure. He still feels utterly betrayed, and will not forgive him but he thanks Murtagh for his explanation all the same.

Murtagh asks Orik for permission to go to Ajihad’s tomb and Hrothgar‘s tomb to pay his respects. 

Orik grants it.

In front of Hrothgar’s tomb, Murtagh considers making a dwarven rite of respect as a member of an enemy clan would make to a fallen rival dwarven leader. Saphira encourages him saying would probably be a good idea and would go a long way in making amends with Durgrimst Ingeitum. She calls it his own Star Sapphire. Murtagh is a reluctant at the political spectacle of it and how it will make him look (unsure if he wants to make himself vulnerable in this way). He didn’t join Hrothgar’s enemy willingly. But he still slew him under Galbatorix’s thumb, and more or less in Galbatorix’s name. Saphira tells him to think on it a little more, and to follow through when he’s ready.

He makes a promise that he will return with Thorn so they can pay their respects together.

In front of Ajihad’s tomb, he weeps. Regretful and devastated that he couldn’t save the man who spared his life and gave him a chance to prove himself. Regretful and utterly ashamed of what he did to Ajihad’s daughter. Knowing full well that Ajihad would never let him in the same hallway, or even in the same wing as Nasuada after her torture if he was still alive. Any chance however slim or imagined he has with her now would be near non-existent. (Murtagh later wonders if Nasuada had a part to play in Ajihad giving him the chance that he did. It breaks his heart even further that the kindness of these two has been returned with torment and failure to protect them). Saphira gives him a moment alone with his tears before reminding him of her presence. She gives wisdom and insight into Ajihad’s character and gives an honest assessment of the possibility of a relationship between him and Nasuada. Given their reputations and political positions it has a very slim chance of working out. She’s careful not to give him false hope for the future, but alludes to the fact that Arya and Eragon’s relationship seemed to not work out, and yet they are on good strong terms.



[b1asho]

So sorry for the spam!! I saw your post about the Rosettians and went a bit silly scrolling through your page 😭😭 I love your work!!

Two questions: is there a place I can read more about your story, and do you allow people to make characters of your species?

Also, where do you get inspiration / info for your work if you don’t mind me asking? I’ve been wanting to make my own xenofiction/alien story and I’d love to hear any tips you have!!

Thank you and have a lovely morning/evening/night!

Alas, other than deviantart, I don't have anywhere else I post art or anything (everything there is a mess, but i do have a lot more posts and usually writing on those posts if you want to know more before i get around to bringing it over here) (https://www.deviantart.com/blasho)

I love when people do characters and stuff from my world! (Just make sure you say it's mine, etc etc ) Tag me in anything you make, I really like seeing it

I get information and inspiration from here on earth, of course!!

It wasnt on purpsoe, but i got my start watching just a Lot of nature documentaries, it's an easy way to absorb a lot of the basics and get to see how actual organisms move and learn all the weird stuff they do, all the weird stuff that they evolved to survive in their habitat, and in general get stuff in the back of your mind you can use to make your own stuff and add design or behavior characteristics to your guys. For anything in depth....research articles and papers on google? That's what I use

I try and smooth mine over a little and add other stuff to them so they aren't cut and dry Exactly like one animal or another, but its inevitable and also part of the fun that they do look and act a little like animals we're familiar with (or even looklike humans)

I'd also say start reading/watching/etc other scifi, fantasy, etc, even bad ones, it helps get an understanding of what's already out there and can give you some ideas on what you want to have in your own world/how to approach some things in your world (like cultures or how their society works) nonfiction can even help with this in the same way nature documentaries helped me

The rest really depends on what story you want to tell/what aliens you want to have (more realistic would mean a lot more research and puts more limits on what you can do, but working with and around that can be fun XD )

I'd say if you want to turn a mindscape idea into a story, definitely work towards locking down the basics at some point (like how many aliens are you going to have? Whats the tone of the story? Is it a hard scifi or soft scifi? What's each of their general vibe/how can you fit that with their design or culture? Where do they live that gives them that design/where are they living now? That stuff) and build from there

Its easier to start small and just start designing little guys and then refining them along the way (though if you already have specific stuff in mind and are working towards that purpose then this streamlines a bit.)

Thanks for asking!! Hopefully this isn't too long

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Hi! This isn't meant to be hate, and while I do very much disagree on the chemistry conversation, I understand that must be something that's subjective. I don't understand however, how R*na is supposed to be considered unhealthy, when there's even been friendships on the show that were less healthy than they ever were. I'm just not sure where that came from and I want to know what I missed.

Hey. First off I find it a little odd that your tumblr has no action on it. Makes me think maybe you created it so that whatever your main one is people don't see you asking stuff like this. But it's okay whatever let's ignore that it's not that important. Next whenever anyone says they don't mean it to be hate they actually mean that it's hate. But okay i'll indulge you. I shouldn't because it's always a bad idea but let's go for it.

The chemistry thing is obvious. Just compare Josh's scenes with Olivia and his scenes with Sofia. Compare Matts scenes with Sofia and his scenes with Olivia. Olivia/Josh & Matt/Sofia have natural chemistry & when they kiss or touch or look at each other it feels natural it's not forced.

All the Rina stuff feels super forced and over the top acted. Never said Rina was unhealthy as far as I remember. But they had a terrible buildup. Okay yes they had moments in the early seasons but they were not exciting enough for me to care or remember them.

If they had a gradual buildup that made sense then I'd give them the benefit of the doubt. But all Ricky did was ignore Gina for 3 seasons and then suddenly catch feelings last season. He had no interest in her until Nini left. And even this season he was a terrible boyfriend. He never communicated and he just ran away all the time. And he had to go to EJ to get help on how to interact with his girlfriend instead of just talking to her like a normal person. EJ told him to go to her in the rain and EJ told him to sing her a song at the end. If he didn't have EJ would he have done it himself? Probably not. The kid needs therapy and to grow up. He is not mature enough to keep a relationship or stay in one. Maybe if he worked on himself then that's another story.

Now lets talk about EJ & Gina. I mean they had the best buildup. Enemies to Lovers. They built each other up. They saw the best in each other. He went to the freaking airport for her. He showed up for her. And the whole camp thing was obviously just written to make him look like an idiot and horrible boyfriend so the Ricky/Gina thing would seem like it somewhat made sense but it still didn't and for a growth arc. Because you can't go from giving your 100% to nothing that quick. Come on it's just not realistic. But then this season he grew as a person/matured as a person. He learned from his mistakes and apologized for them. He communicated with Gina. He was there for her and he didn't need to have someone tell him what to do. He was just there as a friend for her after all the shit she put him through. He had her back. He showed up for her when she needed him. All Ricky did was run and run and run.

I'd respect Rina if Ricky made more of an effort the first 3 seasons. If he acknowledged stuff but he just was always making an effort with Nini. And I still will forever believe they were the endgame but Olivia left and Tim was like well we have no other choice now but to put him with Gina. Cause there is no reason for a beautiful enemies to lovers buildup just for a plot device. I'm sorry there just isn't.

Ej & Gina just have so many of the same things that Pacey/Joey & Jess/Rory have and they are the gold standard. So obviously if Tim were not writing this show and Olivia had not left we would have had EJ/GINA thriving this last season.

But you know what it's okay because this show takes place in high school. So 10-15 years down the line Ricky/Nini will be back together and so will EJ/Gina. They are the one that got away ship that ends up together a long time down the road.

I'll leave you with one last thing. They model themselves after Troy/Gabriella supposedly. Well Troy/Gabriella are in therapy. HAHA sorry to break it to you but your endgame is toast.

This is my opinion don't agree or agree with it I don't care. But you asked me so this is what you get.

AND I WILL NOT RESPOND TO ANY OTHER RESPONSES TO THIS OR ANY OTHER ASKS THAT COME AFTER THIS. THIS WAS A ONE TIME RESPONSE. CAUSE I KNOW THIS WILL BE A THING AND I'M NOT GOING DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE.

[captainsspnanon]

C3E58 - reaction

I am very entertained that they are fighting a creature with many mouths who causes psychic damage from the sounds, considering I'm in the gibbering mouther section of my C2 rewatch and about to get to the laughing hand, so it's all just fucked up mouths for me XD

LOL the fact that FCG has started consistently fucking with who doesn't get bonded and it's an issue each time. I love it! Though I'm worried about their stress points, I'm also kinda looking forwards to a little blow up.

I saw a few spoilers about the episode before I watched so I WASN'T terrified when Fearne went down and got swallowed, but holy fuck if I hadn't known she lived for a threesome, that would have been so stressful!

I'm so glad we got to see at least a tiny glimpse of the wolf-king! I want Matt to post a picture of it on twitter please! Please please just for me!

Huzzah for bag of holding! Great with the notes and harness and rod for plot development, good for funds for refilling some pockets, especially because ...well, I don't even know what the funds status is of this group. VM was rich AF, M9 was poor AF, I have no clue where BH falls. Especially because a lot of it is based on RP (I think M9 probably had as much as BH, but rped as much poorer - nope I lied, counting today's haul, BH has like double the amount that M9 had by the same episode)

Wish we could have gotten more from the FRIDA moment, interesting that Matt has Christian be much more active in the rolls and directions, whereas with Ashton and Fearne's dad (not Birdie, I can't remember his name) they were much more passive while Imogen and FCG/Laura and Sam really took the lead. Confirmation of Aeor though! Sounds like they got smited by the gods though I don't think we had any idea previously that some Aeorians were against using the malleus factorum. Not surprising once I think about it for like, two seconds, but never considered it before.

THREESOME!!!!! Oh I SO hope that Fearne holds to her early game comment and does 'work her way through all of them'. PLS PLS PLS. Anyhow, a touching and mostly hilarious moment, I loved every second of it. I'm also pleased that the first kiss and first sex scenes were from PCs that it seemed like the fans went out of their way to desexualize, I love it.

All the gifts! Hoodies were adorable, and then two wooden gifts from Chet! With how frequently the table gave each other game related gifts out of game previously, I do enjoy how much it's a lot of in-game gifts now.

Oh fuck those scenes with the Changebringer and Dawnfather were INTENSE. HOLY SHIT. I am very hyped, for the gods to just force visions and make demands (at varying levels of demandingness)!!! I wonder how many non-PCs are also receiving these visions? Did Caduceus get one? Fjord? Pike and Vex and Scanlan? Random other clerics and paladins of the world?

Seriously, I am so hype. C3 took me a bit to settle it, but it is a very easy second place for me out of the three campaigns! Still won't beat C2 for me, but I'm pretty sure that's because 1) it was my first campaign and 2) it's when I really hit hyperfocus on CR and could watch two and a half to three episodes a day. ...yeah, I binged HARD on C2. Started late January 21 and finished in time to watch the finale live.

I'm also intrigued to see how all this is going to go. They physically CAN'T have Aabria and Christian playing once everyone is back together, there's just no room at the table. What is going to be the thing that splits them up? I wonder if it'll end up coming down to an NPC having to be 'group regulars go to this location, group guests go to this location' to have a natural and realistic separation.

[mejomonster]

Never Let Me Go ep 7:

I'm so mushy. Look, this isn't ur show if you're looking for the romcom type where people say the cheesiest mushy stuff quickly and are "in love" immediately etc. (Although I'll say Bad Buddy had best of both worlds since they knew each other their whole lives technically pre show so the mushy stuff is less from nothing and more from a foundation almost 2 decades long).

I'm mushy BECAUSE this show feels so damn realistic! In a good way. Neung asks Palm if he's ever loved someone so much he'd consider marrying them. If this were mushy romcom Palm would say yes and cue romantic music. Instead, Palm says no. Realistic answer for a guy who's only 18 - even if he did love someone, loving them enough to marry them forever? It might be happening rn as he's falling for Neungdiao but it's probably not something he went through before at like age 15. Despite saying no (the only realistic answer for Palm), he says he DOES think Neung will meet someone he'll love that much, who will love him that much. And my heart swoons. I'm sinking. I'm emotional. Awwwwwww. That genuine heartfelt hope Neung has happiness, that underlying current Palm thinks he can be that person for Neung when it's time for Neung to contemplate marriage. Is so soft. So sweet. It's worth buckets of a cheesy one liner to me. This scene is so much more my romance story preference ToT

Their scene on the beach, where Palm shows him the secret beach qnd they swim. It's just playful, it's them looking at each other having fun, and looking away at the world in contemplation. And man, have I also been there. On a special beach, in the sunset, having fun with my crush. Hoping we are like this year's later, hoping I'll still be with them, hoping they'll be with me. Trying to remember the moment forever in my heart. I loved that scene so much. It feels like idk. A real kind of moment. A moment you really might have had with a crush. I know it's me personally relating lol. But it's also like? I've never accidentally kissed a person by falling lol, or gotten pinned after we ran away from being chased ToT (though I find the trope fun). So like. The decision to do this as the big romantic scene was really nice to me, that they picked a moment many people who've gone on a trip in nature with a crush or lover can relate to. It's touchable, within reach, an ordinary moment (made extraordinary cayse its a super pretty Thailand beach but you get the idea). It makes the romance feel closer to our own lives, versus us trying to feel closer to a more romantic fantastical life.

The scenes with Ben and Chopper all absolutely wreck my heart. Rip it right to pieces. Choppers actor is SO GOOD you can feel a decade of history between him and Ben that's not in dialogue but PRESENT. You can feel he cares about Ben so much he tries not to grab on and never let go, that he'd give anything to have Ben in his life daily again BUT even more than that he wants to see Ben smiling and happy and free and safe. He loves Ben so fucking much it hurts me. Choppers a lot like me as a teen in that regard lol. And Ben? Ohhhh boy. Well they went the Very Realistic view of gay people in society in this show. So his military dad views gay actions as looking bad on Ben's image. The adults view a gay rumor as a Bad Thing in a way Ben caught kissing a girl would not have been. Neung being just gay and perfectly fine about it, still gets him ostracized compared to people who Don't think it's fine to be viewed that way. Neungs mom is as expected a loving mom who's just disappointed in herself that her son didn't feel safe to be open to her (and interesting this actually serves a character development function Totally unrelated to neung liking men - he acts very loving to his mom, but feels she can't "handle" certain things. She can't "handle" him not eating vegetables so he pretends to like them and eats tjem for her. How naive does he act FOR her, because he's trying to protect her from other parts of his personality. Neung has shown to be very intelligent and cunning sometimes when doing his own things alone. I imagine he hides all that from his mom. This whole arc further shows he's got parts of himself other people are not all aware of).

Back to Ben. They picked a realistic route. Further solidifying this show feels like My Dear Loser, 3 Will Be Free, and The Eclipse in how it handles queer people. This is not romcom world where our annoying problems in society don't exist. Figures. In a story where the class differences and inequality of it and how unfair it fucking is are HAMMERED nonstop, of course queerness and how it affects how society privileges or harms people is going to be included. I again LOVE how this show is written so far. Anyway Ben... Chimon always gives a stellar performance in my opinion, particularly in that he plays people who feel like real people. Ben feels as real as Wave in The Gifted, as his typical realistic teen character in My Dear Loser. It doesn't feel like a bl romance genre show. It feels like I'm watching a GENERAL thriller on gmmtv (a la The Player, The Gifted) and they just decided the majority of the main leads will be queer. (Actually Not Me and 3 Will Be Free may also feel like this). I personally love this approach as main-genre romance isn't actually my preference, and this feel really works for this story. Chimon does such an amazing job, I keep feeling like I'm seeing this slice of a person's life and vulnerability in privacy with Chopper admiting his heart out. As Chopper feels painfully unconditionally loving and trying to prioritize Ben's feelings over any pain of his own, Ben just feels brutally real. The actual class president you met in school if he sat with you some day off to the side during lunch and admitted all the shit he was actually going through. Anyway I am literally folded in half emotionally whenever Ben and Chopper get scenes together to combine this effect.

I love Ben. Thats all.

Suddenly thinking if Heartstopper fans also happen to like action thrillers, they might like this show? I mean they probably want something fluffier. But I liked Heartstoppers realism with anxiety and personal doubts and queerness. And those particular elements are also present here with the 4 leads.

Palm. Oh palm. I have a feeling about palm. That feeling is: I feel at some point when he fully reveals his own pov more, a TON OF SCENES IN RETROSPECT are going to click into place as way more emotional to watch than they were before. Sort of like when I watched The Untamed - first time around I thought Lan Wangji was boring expressionless until the teen arc was over. Because I saw him like Wei Wuxian did. The second watch, knowing how deeply Lan Wangji was effected from day 1? I realized the actor was actually putting a LOT of nuance in I was just tuning out on first watch. I suspect once palm shows his pov in a scene more overtly, his visual acting tells will become more obvious, and in retrospect I'll be emotionally overwhelmed on a rewatxh.

I suspect we see him like Neungdiao right now. And that is: Palm trying so hard to frame himself as servant, frame his own pov as unknown and unimportant, put his wants below the specific necessity that he serve Neung and make Neung feel safe AND make sure there's a clear boundary of "I'm a servant not equal" since his dad keeps hammering it. I think at first he might even have had some hostility wanting to be a servant instead of quiting, some feelings he doesn't need to do what his dad demands of him just cause dad feels that way. But he DOES care about Neung. And he'd be friends in a heartbeat - IF he could. If he could? He'd open up emotionally and let Neung treat him equal like Neung desperately wants. But Palm knows the societal punishment for them breaking their roles to act like that is going to be hard on Neung, and he 1 doesn't want Neung to deal with more because of Palm and 2 Palm doesn't want to attract anger from others and disappointment (or worse being full on removed from Neungs life by his dad and neungs mom) just because he violated the boundaries of his status. He knows Neung can choose to change how he treats Palm, but if Palm changes how he acts then they both get screwed by the world. Palm can't afford to reveal an inch, cant afford for Stubborn Nueng to notice what Palm wants. And Palms stubborn too so he keeps intensely reinforcing their boundary and keeping his feelings secret.

Cue Palm smiling, making stubborn jokes in private with Neung. Saying he's waiting for his moment on the beach (to make a romantic move). Palm knows once he kissed Neung that the cat is out of the bag. No matter how servant Not Friend, separate and not together, employee instead of equal that Palm is Supposed to be? He kissed Neung. He knows he did it cause he likes Neung, and was jealous of Ben, and in his heart wants to treat Neung with love and reciprocation. And he knows Neung sure wanted that reciprocation - so he kisses Neung. And now Neung knows for all the holding back, Palm feels some amount. And so Palms letting himself smile, when he thinks Neung won't push him, when he thinks they're alone enough he can tease and talk back and Be closer to equal socially without any outsiders punishing them for it. That's Palms resolve to be a silent separate protector deteriorating. I'm excited to see as it crumbles more.

[starryknight-dragonarts]

Soaring Arc 1 Summary (Part 1)

It has been brought to my notice that many people are interested in the dragon characters that I come up with for my story Soaring, but the only bits of story available right now are scattered in texts about character's backgrounds, Lore Ideas, and in my own head. I don't want to give away too much right at this moment because eventually I intend to publish my stories to be available for everybody to buy, and if I spoiled the whole thing ahead of time then why even bother reading it? But I also want to build interest in my work, and make people want to know more so when I do eventually publish my personal Magnum Opus it's met with people who are already Fans of my work wanting to get the full story.

This is going to be a detailed summary of the First Arc of Soaring as I have planned it out, including: -Background world information -Major Characters involved -and a Simplified telling of events that start off the novel

Background World Information: Soaring is a Xenofiction Fantasy told from the perspective of Intelligent Sapient Dragons in a similar to the Wings of Fire series by Tui. T Sutherland of which I am a fan of but this is not meant to be a derivative of her work; I had started working on this series and planned on publishing it as my own original story before I came across Wings of Fire. The main difference between these series is that while Humans exist in Wings of Fire, there are no such thing as Humans in Soaring. The setting of Soaring is a Uchronia (No Time) that is Inspired off of parts of the Mesozoic Era, the periods of time often thought of as the Age of the Dinosaurs and in a world that is very similar to what Earth would have looked like during that time, but is in no way meant to be taken as Our World or a realistic depiction of any specific period of time, exact events that may have occurred in that time period, or species who were around in that particular location. This is my Sandbox World and I have set it up how I like.

All organisms from Animals to Plants and Fungi, and even Micro-Organisms have some supernatural uncanny ability, this is a world that is saturated with Magic in every aspect of nature. Usually this means that each species has evolved at least one uncanny ability that helps them survive. Some of these abilities can be very simple like giving a creature unnatural Strength or more durable hide, while others let plants survive in areas of extreme conditions, allow certain creatures to teleport, or whole Herds of creatures could change the weather around them! Possibilities are nearly limitless. I should also mention that while not inherently a source of Magic, gemstones can project certain magical effects when Magical Energy is channeled through them, so Gemstones are valued by what they can do rather than scarcity, so a Quartz could be valued over a Diamond.

Another trait that is different about creatures in Soaring is that all Terrestrial Vertebrate species are descended from Hexapod Ancestors, so creatures tend to have 6 limbs instead of 4. I always thought it was odd how in stories that feature Dragons why there are no other/rarely other creatures who are like dragons; Having two pairs of legs with a pair of wings on their back doesn't just come out of nowhere and neither do Reptilian Megafauna. Some stories have corrected this by making their Dragons Wyvern-esque with two wings/two legs. I have decided to take an opposite approach by making every other creature more like Dragons, hence why I decided to base my world off of Prehistoric Earth. Dragons are Large Reptilian Creature so Dinosaurs are probably biologically the closest real world equivalent to a close cousin of dragons. Then I went and messed with things a little by introducing 2 different Dragon Categories: Sauropsid Dragons (Dragons related to Archesaurs and Reptiles) and Synapsid Dragons (Dragons who are more based on Ancient Synapsid Proto-mammals, most famously: The Dimetrodon! They are NOT Dinosaurs, they predate Dinosaurs and are closer related to US than to Dinosaurs. From a real paleontological standpoint I should not have Large Synapsids and Sauropsids inhabiting the world at the same time, but once again this is my world and I will do what I want. Typically these two kinds of Dragons would not be interacting much. I have decided to split them up over different continents so in certain places Sauropsids are more dominant and in other places Synapsids are more dominant, however where the main story takes place on the Island Continent of Laramidia there are both Sauropsid and Synapsid Dragons who have feuded for dominance.

[minarithm]

i used to volunteer as a writing tutor and briefly worked in a library before i went to college, so i was immediately intrigued when i came across your minayeon fic!!

and ohhhh my god it had me up at 4am giggling and kicking my feet 😭 im so in love with the way you write, but im also in love with the dynamics between the members you’ve created. i particularly enjoy your rendition of the j-line and their relationships with each other! as much as i love the romantic pairings (sahyo and chaeyu are SOOO CUTEEE i love that you included them) the platonic relationships are just as important to pull everything together, and i think you’ve really excelled at creating those dynamics that feel both realistic and fresh at the same time.

the way you express the dichotomy between nayeon and mina’s perspectives on everything is so well-written and amazing. i really enjoy getting to read and think more about philosophy and theory through their lenses!

side note: i’m so grateful you’ve written momo as someone with academic intelligence and depth, bc imo there are far too many people (even unknowingly via fics) pushing the narrative that momo is dumb and it kinda really hurts me every time i think about that bc its simply not true even if she can be a bit absent-minded at times (but who isnt?)

really looking forward to the final chapter and any other works you might put out!! 🙆🏻‍♀️

this message is so so so sweet omg thank you so much you made my entire day ❤️

I’m glad you’re enjoying the fic so far, especially as someone who’s also been a writing tutor! At first I wasn’t sure how niche writing tutoring is, but it was such a big part of my college experience (and some of the most academically gifted—and argumentative—people I knew in college were my fellow tutors) that I just felt like this college AU had to center around it lol

And I’ve said this before on one platform or another but I really appreciate hearing that people have liked the friendship dynamics in particular—this is the first fic I’ve written with such strong emphasis on platonic pairings/trios and I wasn’t sure how it would translate! J-line here actually reflect my own roommate/best friend situation in college so it’s super close to my heart and really takes me back 🥲 (can I say that if I only graduated 3 months ago lol)

I’m so fascinated by philosophy and its intersection with language/literature (although I’m in no way well versed in either), so I’ve been using minayeon to bounce some fun ideas off of each other—thank you for letting me know that my inner ramblings-turned-dialogue actually came out ok 😭

And RETWEET on the Momo stuff, I think she’s such a compelling character to extrapolate into writing, and sometimes we get lost in her natural sense of humor and confuse some of the more goofy parts of her personality with her being “dumb,” but she’s a lot more than whatever caricature we assign to her (along with all our other RPF characters) so we might as well recognize her more holistically as an individual

I guess what I’m trying to say in this long reply is that this fic really resonates with a lot of my own college experiences, and it’s been such a pleasure to write, and I’m so grateful that you’ve enjoyed it, so thank you again for this wonderful ask! 🫶🫶

[drew-mga2022mi6021]

Research | What is Solarpunk?

Dear Alice - The LINE Animation

First and foremost, in order to build this world, I needed to understand what exactly it was I was using as a base. So I turned to finding as many relevant papers on the subject as I could, barring those that contained repeated ideas from others that I had read. I compiled my results into a document and then made annotations based on my findings. These were the results;

The above research would be split between the world building for my final film and part of my dissertation. There are some annotations made to the notes in bold, which represent my own thoughts and key matters I want to bring to the forefront of this module.

The eagle eyed of you will notice that not all the sources mentioned are strictly academic, some stemming from blog posts and online journal entries. I have included them here simply because in all my research, there is one theme that rings true; no one can agree on what Solarpunk is. This is where we turn to the "origins" of the term Solarpunk, coined first in an online blog called Republic of the Bees (2008), and later popularised by Tumblr user @missolivialouise (2014). The term was inspired by the technology of the Beluga Skysail, a cargo ship that was partially powered by wind (thus proving that the idea of Solarpunk need not be limited to solar power itself, but renewable energy as a whole). The technology was posited as modern in conflation with old-world technology, with the caveat that it would be based upon modern economic issues; thereby distinguishing itself from its more popular cousin Steampunk. Furthermore, in 2014 miss louise goes on to hypothesise a potential Solarpunk future, where children learn technology and gardening, to promote artisanship, and support of small businesses as opposed to big-city capitalism. These were the seeds that the idea of Solarpunk was founded upon.

However, one could dig even deeper, and see that these are not new concepts. As early as 1905, a POC writer by the psedonym of Begum Rokeya went on to write Sultana's Dream, a short story about art, technology and sovereignty, through the lens of feminism at the time.

This proves that the fact of the matter is that Solarpunk has become more than a genre, it's a representation of hope, a political movement, a collection of beliefs and ideals that people hope could save the future. The beauty of Solarpunk is that it's cultural, it's customisable - it can simply be whatever you want it to be. Best of all, it is achievable (more or less).

So the question of "What is Solarpunk" really morphs into "What is Solarpunk in the context of Sri Lanka? What is Solarpunk to me?" In his paper, Reina-Rozo (2021) raises the very same question about his home turf of South America. There are a few key ideas that could be extrapolated from above. Essentially; renewable energy (not limited to Solar Power), greater city infrastructure, empowerment of people of colour (Rokeya, 1905; Johnson, 2020), social justice, technology in harmony with nature, collaboration and community, and the world as a character itself (Stokka, 2021).

Applying this logic to my film, we see that it does not entirely fit. It does not truly represent the values of a Solarpunk world. This is where I sought out criticisms of the genre. In essence, the idea of a realistic Solarpunk future is dependent on a fossil fuel present, and a socially just future hinges on the idea of a neo-colonial, capitalist present i.e. these utopias are dependent on the industrial cycle of production. In order for these ideas to be truly idyllic, we must sprinkle a touch of fantasy (Williams, 2019). I am reminded of cities like Singapore and Sydney on studying his paper, therefore the next thing I should research should be "idealised" city infrastructures, in order to get a better idea on how to structure my world.

Ultimately, the story of my animation is one of hope, of change and of growth beyond toxic cycles. The double edged sword that hard work represents. Solarpunk worlds more often than not reflect the nature of the character, and so too shall I do the same here. My main character is on a trajectory of growth in this film; similarly the world would be on a trajectory of growth as well, moving towards a utopian future, a just-beyond-the-horizon ideal that my protagonist - and subsequently, the viewer - can almost reach out and grab.

References

Jewels, L. of M. and (2014). Land of Masks and Jewels - Here’s a thing I’ve had around in my head for a... [online] Land of Masks and Jewels. Available at: https://missolivialouise.tumblr.com/post/94374063675/heres-a-thing-ive-had-around-in-my-head-for-a. Johnson, I. (2020). ‘Solarpunk’ & the Pedagogical Value of Utopia. [online] The Journal of Sustainability Education. Available at: https://www.susted.com/wordpress/content/solarpunk-the-pedagogical-value-of-utopia_2020_05/. Reina-Rozo, J.D. (2021). Art, Energy and Technology: the Solarpunk Movement. International Journal of Engineering, Social Justice, and Peace, 8(1), pp.55–68. doi:https://doi.org/10.24908/ijesjp.v8i1.14292. Republic of the Bees. (2008). From Steampunk to Solarpunk. [online] Available at: https://republicofthebees.wordpress.com/2008/05/27/from-steampunk-to-solarpunk/. Rokeya, B. (1905). Sultana’s Dream. Madras: The Indian Ladies’ Magazine. Stokka, K. (2021). Investigating the societies and environments of the solarpunk genre. [online] hvlopen.brage.unit.no. Available at: https://hdl.handle.net/11250/2767683 [Accessed 26 Jan. 2024]. Williams, R. (2019). ‘This Shining Confluence of Magic and Technology’: Solarpunk, Energy Imaginaries, and the Infrastructures of Solarity. Open Library of Humanities, 5(1). doi:https://doi.org/10.16995/olh.329.

[naomi-in-japan]

5月31日 - Ueno Park | Akihabara

Today we went to Ueno Park and Akihabara. I'll admit I wasn't too enthusiastic when looking at the itinerary for today. Still, I was pleasantly surprised at all the beautiful sites and little things that made today a very educational and informative trip.

••• Ueno Park 🌸🌳

It wasn't until we walked there today that I realized how close Ueno was to the Ryokan we are currently staying at in Tokyo. My host family took me to Ueno Park in 2019 around wintertime, so I wasn't really able to see the beauty of nature in the park. I want to return during cherry blossom season to enjoy the beautiful sites and relax in the park. We also visited the Ueno Toshogu shrine, where the intricate designs and decorative gold architecture reveal the importance of Ieyasu in Japanese history.

Tokyo National Museum 🏛️🖼️

We also went to the Tokyo National Museum, where we got to wander around and take in the various national treasures and historical pieces that contributed to the history, arts, and culture of Japan from ancient Japan into the modern era. A bit off-topic, but I see the inspiration of how the museum in Animal Crossing New Horizons is designed based on the architecture and layout of the Tokyo National Museum.

For class, we needed to take a picture of a piece that stood out and describe why it stood out. While moseying through, multiple art pieces struck me, so I'll share a few and explain what aspect I found fascinating about each piece.

—----------

The first was a replica doll of a crying baby. It's a very well and realistically crafted doll. And while I do absolutely love babies and find them quite adorable–that doll is terrifying. Seeing such a doll displayed like that scared me and caught me entirely off guard. Especially a crying one, nonetheless. But I have to acknowledge that my opinions might be based on my Western perspective of being used to baby dolls either having docile or happy expressions on their face. (even if it's marketed as a "crybaby" dolly).

Next would have to be this tea bowl used in tea ceremony. The wabi-sabi element of imperfection in the unevenness of the bowl is very aesthetically pleasing to me as a student who has taken many years of art classes, ceramics/pottery has always been my least favorite medium. The emphasis on properly using the potter's wheel and your hand in tandem to effectively create a uniform, even shape, makes the bowl more beautiful for breaking such artistic rules. Also, as you all should know by now, anything to do with matcha I love.

Thirdly, it would have to be the entire collection of oil paintings in the museum. I couldn't stay long enough to remember the artist or read the context of each piece, but it was truly captivating. My favorite kind of artistic medium is oil paintings, specifically portraits. I never quite see many minorities painted with oil, so whenever I do, it never fails to enrapture my attention.

Lastly, I saw this Venus figure in the gift shop on my way out of the museum. Venus figures were prominent in various cultures during ancient times. They represented and promoted the idea of fertility by exaggerating the female figure. It caught my eye because of how different the figure was compared to modern Japanese beauty standards in terms of body type; it's fascinating to see a Venus figure erected in the area.

Ameyokocho 🍭🍣

After the museum, we made our way across the street to Ameyokocho. My host parents took me there briefly in 2019, but we had some free time to have lunch this time. A couple of classmates and I decided to eat at this Okinawan restaurant (which I sadly did not catch the name of), where I got this sweet potato croquette that was really delicious. I'm happy I could practice more Japanese with our server, who was very friendly in conversing with me. Opportunities like those when I get to have extended conversations where the other party can understand my Japanese make me realize that I may know something about the language after all and that majoring in it has produced some fruits.

Akihabara 🏬🎮

Our last stop for the day was Akihabara, where I only stayed very briefly. Though I am not into anime too much, I found Fire Emblem Three Houses figurines which were super cool (which I did not buy for obvious $ $ $ reasons)—definitely an iconic spot in itself.

•••

Today was an eventful day. I came to realize more about myself throughout this class outing. It truly is bittersweet that our first week in Tokyo is halfway over, but I'm excited about all the other exciting plans yet to come.

—————— 📚 Academic Reflection 📚

The Haniwa & Kofun Wikipedia pages cover the Haniwa burial clay figures used during the Kofun period to go in burial mounds. These Kofun graves are unique in shape and, like Haniwa figures, have a lot of theorized and unknown elements to them because of their age before written recorded history. Some of these Haniwa figures could be seen in the museum we visited earlier today, along with educational descriptions and writings of the Kofun period.

"Beautiful Fighting Girl" discusses the psychology of the otaku. In visiting Akihabara, we could see examples of anime consumption by the otaku market throughout the city. From figurine stores to manga cafes, the amount of capitalism and consumerism from Akihabara alone proves the highly profitable market of otakus both domestically and internationally.

[glassesntea]

This.

I'm sick and tired of people who refused to understand trauma response behaviour because it doesn't fit your idea of girlboss.

Mikasa went through something so awful and repetedly lost everything but Eren, who's the only steading point in her life alongside with Armin. It's normal for her to be clingy and overprotective and it breaks your heart when in the end she has to make THAT choice. It's the tragedy of her character.

It's more comfortable to link her behaviour to a magic bond to justify her affection for Eren? Maybe yes? Too bad that in real life, since Aot pictures a very realistic side of human's nature, trauma is not something you 'get over with'

The discourse cease to be fictional at this point, because it reveals pretty much how people really feel toward trauma responses, in particular regarding some of them, the ones that 'taint' the image of a strong woman. Despite the fact that we like to consider ourselves so progressive and empathic toward trauma and its struggle, we still prefer to encourage a person to be strong, putting up a front, rather than be sympathetic and understand that healing can be messy, not linear, and not someone's fantasy of a strong woman.

Many people try to justify that they like Mikasa because she's strong, phisically strong, to make up for her passive nature. They like the image but not what's behind it, because it's difficult to digest, because it's not heroic. Because it's weak.

Mikasa is a strong woman not because of her strenght in battle. Mikasa is a strong woman because she survived every hardship life have thrown at her, and in the end she was able to live a long fulfilling life without forgetting the past, cherishing the beauty and the pain she went through.

Letting go of Eren was the biggest middle finger to whatever ackerbond theory that still circulate in the fandom. Where people think that they rather see her as a slave to justify her nature, because the alternative is too ugly: a traumatized girl, a humann being with flaws and shades.

Mikasa's slanders are the same as Levi's.

We talk about fictional characters but in the end they reveal pretty much about their thinking about certain issues: like Levi's disability.

They like him but when they reach the end they are all like 'Cool! But why the wheelchair?' 'The wheelchair doesn't fit my aesthetic but I'm covered because in my bio I said I want to save the turteles, so I'm covered. But seriously, why the wheelchair?'

The Ackermans are really something else. But not for the motives people obsessed themself, sadly.

lowkey wish the ackerman bond was real so it would explain mikasa's behavior cause why is she like that, girl get up

She's like that because Eren saved her life. It's totally normal and understandable why Mikasa loves Eren as much as she does.

People never stop to actually think about Mikasa's trauma, or what the impact of that trauma was on her. She literally saw her mother and father murdered in front of her before being kidnapped by the same men who killed them to be sold into the child sex trafficking rings Underground. And then Eren showed up and rescued her from that unimaginably horrific fate. Jesus Christ, people need to give Mikasa a break on this. Eren was there for her in her lowest, most bereft moment. A moment when she had nothing and no one, and Eren came and gave her a family again. Him wrapping the scarf around her is symbolic of that. Of her finding a place again, finding a home, finding a family. Eren became her family in that moment. Whether you think Mikasa deserved better or not, whether you think her love for Eren was unhealthy or misguided, it doesn't really matter in terms of understanding why that love was there. It would be weird if it wasn't there.

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

excuse me for a moment while i go on an insane little rant about a game none of my followers have ever heard of probably (spoilers for I was a teenage exocolonist, also go play the game this is a threat not a suggestion)

What gets me is how similar Dys and Tan's core story arcs are. Like, they're both twin who feel completely uncomfortable in their bodies in completely different ways, literally the two opposite sides of the spectrum

Tan is a trans woman, happy with her new female body as much as she can be. Because as much as she's happy in it she's not happy that she has to exist as a human at all. Her ideal form is an AI as literally stated in the game. The base needs and desires of her human form are uncomfortably animalistic. Her mother gave her a genetic adaptation to make her need less sleep, and she even turns eating into something more robotic than natural- specifically chewing her food for optimal digestion. The limits to her augmenting her form are solely because the colony has limited and outdated tech, I fully believe if available to her Tan would upload her brain to a robot body or the internet.

Dys is a cis man, and his issues with his body come completely from its connection to humanity as a force against nature. He sees humans as having rejected their animal heritage and as invaders undeserving of the new planet and the salvation it offers the colonists from the ruins of earth. He has multiple dialogs all but outright saying that the colony should have died out, that you're a plague on the planet. His story arc ends with him becoming a tree, fully abandoning the idea that humans are above nature and not part of it.

I don't have a final thesis for this, I've just been playing through all the romance routes and the duality of the twins really stuck with me. Like, the game does a really good job of creating realistic characters that react realistically to their world, and so many of them feel like direct parallels to each other- Cal and Nem, Marz and Tammy, they all act as narrative foils for eachother (though, I haven't played through all the routes yet so I can't talk on them yet)

Anyways go play teenage exocolonist, it's a card-building romance game where you grow up on a colony on an alien planet and have to try and survive and maybe even find love! then you die and wake up the day before you crash land on the planet and get to live your live all over again. The player character gender options really are amazing, pronouns and what puberty your character went through are completely seperate from your characters looks, and the setting and lore and story telling are amazing!

[volkshore]

an exhaustive and gratuitous list of personal grimsley headcanons

- he’s all confidence and bravado but at least 90% of it is fake and will tumble like a house of cards the moment someone calls him on his bullshit, except for when it comes to gambling — he puts all of his acting effort into that, rendering any other venture in self-assurance extremely fragile. the belief he has in himself is an absolute zero in most subjects, hence why he goes so hard for the one thing he knows he’s good at.

- he held high status in unova as an up-and-coming young influential and an amazing battler with charm to boot, but he is literally insufferable to most people he comes across; grimsley is very much an acquired taste. most everyone who faces him wants his head on a stake by the ten minute mark and honestly, he revels in it more often than not. at the beginning of his elite four days, the other three attempted to keep a running tally on how many challengers would make some sort of snide remark about grimsley to one of them and they gave up counting a week in.

- well versed in the art of escape owed entirely to his addiction-spurred shenanigans. “every gambler knows the secret to survival” is right, and grimsley is no fool. he knows he lacks in the physical department and makes up for it with his unbelievable penchant for being able to slip away when he’s ruffled enough feathers.

- much more morally grey than people understand him to be — just because he’s caring towards his select few companions and generally good-natured does not negate his overwhelming apathy. grimsley has a very stringent code when it comes to how he designates his emotions, knowing all too well that people have the capacity to bleed him dry until he has nothing left to feel. dedicating said emotions to matters that don’t involve him has never done anything for him but waste his time and energy, thus he’s developed extremely passive views regarding moral dilemmas.

- upon reaching bankruptcy, he used the last of his coin to purchase his ticket to alola. deportation is increasingly uncommon in alola and it was grimsley’s best bet to evade the repercussions of all his actions. going broke was the final nail in the coffin; he could deal with revenge-seeking creditors and tiptoeing in the shadows to survive, though he was well aware that continuing to do so was no longer an option once he was officially plotted on the government’s radar.

- grimsley enjoys the ‘everybody wants me *is referring to every bank and government official in unova*’ gag way too much. he has this way of remaining terribly self-righteous and egotistical even though all of his misery and rejections should, realistically, nullify that. the amount of times he makes a joke along that line once he moves to alola is obscene and everyone tells him that it’s going to end up getting him in jail but he literally cannot resist making it part of his personality.

- choosing to specialise in dark types was a decision spurred entirely by his obsession with being mysterious and desirable and i genuinely cannot be made to think otherwise. 10-year-old grimsley saw dark types and went absolutely wild. perhaps the root of this also lies in some deep-seated hope that he could finally be loved and valued if he wielded a type that people found fascinating, but you would never hear that from him.

- he’s very familiar with the phrase “do you want to try that again? with the truth, this time?” from the people who know him best. he developed into a pathological liar out of necessity and is extremely good at it, and he has no idea how his circle keeps seeing through his lies. the fact that there are people who know his tells is rather unnerving, but perhaps feeling like that is just old habits.

- when he left unova for alola, he left everything behind. he refused to tell anybody his plans or keep in contact with those dearest to him — grimsley became the charming young elite four who disappeared off the face of the earth. his trust issues span thousands of miles, enough to wrap around the world twice over and still have extra. he couldn’t afford to keep anyone in his life after he moved. it just wasn’t an option to him.

- it’s a rough first few months in alola, splitting his time between casino-hopping and midnight stumbling to get home, and it’s mantine surfing that gets him back on the rails. grimsley’s addictive personality is malleable. he had been interested in the sport from the very beginning but needed a few insistent shoves and a forced sign-up to finally pursue it, and once he starts, it becomes his saving grace. it’s not a perfect solution and he does fall back into old habits time and time again, but at least he’s trying and he’s doing better.

- despite adjusting to his new home and becoming comfortable after some while, grimsley still exclusively keeps burner phones on him. he can never be too safe. the thought of finally being caught up to clings to him like a particularly pesky cologne and no amount of reassurance or safe days can completely convince him that he’s free from his past. the phone thing annoys the living hell out of the people who converse with him frequently, but he shows no signs of changing so they’ve learned to adapt.