#i went off with this one i'm so sorry
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i want to delete my twitter account so fucking bad
#i grew my following off of anime stuff and now i'm into completely different stuff and i feel like posting about it -#will alienate my audience way too much#(if you wanna know - these days i hardly even watch one anime a year)#i wanna post about the fuckin saw movies and postal and weird video games and metalocalypse and music i like#and i want to post about my ocs without it feeling like i'm speaking gibberish to a crowd#but none of my followrs GIVE A FUCK#also i find it impossible to make friends on twt 😭😭😭😭 i have like 5 mutuals i'd consider friends#but alas i have too many industry pro followrs to just deactivate#and 40k followers is invaluable as someone whose only form of income rn is comms#tumblr has similar problems but at least i can talk about my ocs properly cuz of tagging#i don't like how monetized my account has become it feels so fucking disingenuous#it's just retweet retweet retweet post art retweet retweet#if twitter went under it'd be a blessing in disguise for me#oh well. suffering from success i guess#maybe one day i'll move accounts and KILL STARRYSHARKS ONCE AND FOR ALL#this is all 13 yr old me's fault#sorry for ranting/venting ig??? on main lol
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"Even from where he stood, Vash choked on the growing smell of death. Wolfwood looked like he should be dead, too.
After all, any normal human would be."
one of my pieces for the vw reverse bang :P the linked text leads to the fic that the wonderful Umbr_el_on wrote for this that i had tons of fun reading and rereading :D (don't worry it has a happy ending <3)
#vashwood reverse bang#trigun#technically trigun 98 canon. but i definitely stole wolfwood's design from trimax lol#vashwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash the stampede#vash x wolfwood#tw: gore#tw: blood#drawing#artists on tumblr#my art#illustration#comic#fanart#anime#can you tell i don't fuckin. draw comics regularly#hell. my confidence took a Huge dip in the middle of working on this one too so it took Extra long too :<#i'm very sorry to my writer you went the hell off and i uhh. didnt#dragged my ass across the finish line like a lame horse#but like...... i did it ig#please read the fic it's actually good 😭
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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strqrock summer for @sracha !!
#summer rose#strq#my art#hiiiiiiii#another summer rose jumpscare i'm so sorry i held onto this for as long as i could... she got hands... like i frew up#hiiiii for the love of god hello. you wouldn't happen to be singing a thinly veiled love song about your big mean bassist would you??#rendering mr torchy's gloves has prepared me for this one moment: summer rose full leather outfit.#fma announcer voice: “full leather outfit!!” “FULL LEATHER OUTFIT 😈😈”#i went and animorphed into her microphone specifically for this image everyone else BACK OFF! NOW!!#can you all follow them btw. i'm not playing. are my crazy insane tags every week not enough of a sales pitch? GO‼️‼️‼️#collective
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shang qinghua deserves to be a) squeezed like a stress ball and b) a god who kind of but not really lost control
And now I want to talk about how cool it would be if like uh uh the system and sqh were having custody battles over who has more control over the world and obviously its the system the system is really wierd and thats an entire discussion but qinghua is the author and that's really really important to me he should write stuff into existence I think but also last week I had an idea that went like uh sqh loses more and more power as he changes things, so when he's transmigrated in as a baby he loses a lot of 'power' unintentionally and then when mobei comes in there's a thing and when sy comes in he literally just loses it all and he knows this inst really his story anymore
Aahahaha it's 2am I'm gonna stop yammering now good luck on your future endeavors
Mobei is always squeezing Shang Qinghua like a stress ball but affectionately
I, on the other hand, squeeze him and shake him around like a chew toy
Your idea tho!!!! I'm very interested in that!!!
CUSTODY BATTLE OF POWERS a fitting description
It's kinda like, yeah he was a God of that world because he wrote it out and can change anything on a whim.
But once you're actually a part of that world, well it's a little hard to change it since you're living in it.
I'm really interested in Shang Qinghua slowly but surely realizing he's not really in his own story. Yeah he wrote it yeah he made the character but when does the line between "I wrote this character" and "theyre an in depth person with feelings and lives and to me they were only written in a second but here they're actually someone " blur
He spent his whole second life clinging to everything to live and worrying about that characters future and using everyone around him to save himself
When did he really see these people as...people
A one off character becoming his friend
A minor character dying to advance the plot, does he see the grief? Does he say they're characters to help digest what he's done? He never meant for any of this to be real, so how does he handle it?
Does he finally see everyone as real, or does he simply become a character as well?
#im actually not great at analysiss and a bit of my orv existentialism popped out here but! hope i kinda said something coherent#svsss#shang qinghua#mobei jun#I think I went a little off what you were trying to say#sorry! Also#please#if you have more to talk about I'm always happy to listen!!! ^#also i think qinghua does ene up being aware that people in his world are people#i think he really would try to make things better#he did try to help Shen Jiu with a major plot point at one point so#im sure he'll try to minimize a lot of other arcs that cause tragedy#nib text#ask
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I'm very tired of hearing the "why doesn't Kingdom Hearts cater to ME, a person who doesn't want to have to care about it. Kingdom Hearts should stop rewarding the people who are deeply emotionally invested in it and should instead care only about Me, Casual Fan who only wants to give a shit every 5-10 years or so, what about MY feelings" argument. Jesus fucking Christ. It's been 22 years. Suck it up and go play a Halo then.
#Christ Almighty#i almost had a physical fight with someone at a convention over this topic TEN ENTIRE YEARS AGO#I could not go ten feet in my Saix cosplay at a convention from like 2009-2019 without encountering like#MULTIPLE smug grinning chucklefucks making comments about the 'side games' all goddamn day everywhere i went#literally came this close to throwing down with the final one at like 10 pm on my way back to my hotel room#(I'm exaggerating about the physical fight thing but my friends did wrestle me off the elevator because i was about to tear that guy-#-absolutely a new asshole about 'haha every game since kh2 was stupid and bad I'm so smart for thinking so'#*)#they're always the SMUGGEST about how smart they are for being 'above' caring about the handheld games#sorry they feature women actually doing things and make you feel stupid but skill issue#God forbid you should have to care about Xion and Aqua and Namine and also use your brain
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I can't believe trump is winning the elections...
#like... for real?#I was reading about a woman pregnant with twins in texas#who needed a selective reduction i.e. to abort one twin#because he wasn't going to survive#and the doctors went 'no we can't do that'#which meant they would ALL die. both twins and their mom#she managed to get the abortion done out of texas but like#how insane is this??#it drives me mad#I'm worried about the anti-abortion stance spreading#I mean it's not like it's not already there in europe#see Ireland until recently. see Italy#where abortion is legal on paper but doctors can still refuse to perform it#on religious grounds#which is INSANE. insane#omg I was discussing it with my aunt ages ago and I was like#they shouldn't have that option#and she went 'oh so you think doctors should be forced to perform abortions'#NO I think if you don't want to perform abortions don't become a fucking gyno?? maybe??#did they point a gun to their head?? aren't there lots of other specialties they could've gone for??#like what am I missing here. help#it's not even about religion though for most which makes it even more infuriating#oh I went off on a tangent here. sorry#reproductive rights#us politics#donald trump
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Is it true that Elizabeth of York birth celebrated like she was a son? I have seen some historians say this.
Hi! Yes, Edward IV did celebrate his daughter’s birth as though she was a male heir (“a prince”), iirc as per the Great Chronicle.
While we have no contemporary reports at the time of Elizabeth of York's birth, we know that Luchino Dallaghiexia reported that the birth of Edward and Elizabeth's third child, Cecily of York, "rejoiced the king and all the nobles exceedingly*, though they would have preferred a son'. Wanting a son (ie: an heir) was typical for their time period, likely enhanced by Edward and Elizabeth's unprecedentedly controversial marriage, her very unsuitable origins and his own status as a usurper. The fact that he was described as being "exceedingly" delighted at the birth of his third daughter in a row regardless does support the claim that he would have gone over-the-top to celebrate the birth of his first legitimate** child.
Hope this helps!
*Bizarrely, I have seen several historians and blogs using Dallaghiexia's letter to claim that he was bitterly disappointed at Cecily of York's birth. I don't understand how historical reading comprehension can be so poor that "rejoiced the king exceedingly" has somehow been rewritten as the...exact opposite of that. With no self-awareness whatsoever. **His illegitimate daughter Margaret (known as Elizabeth for some reason) was almost definitely born before his marriage. We don't know the birth dates of his other two illegitimate children: I think the likeliest conception date for Arthur was in early 1470, but it's unverified; and we know nothing about Grace (which was in fact her surname, not her name) other than the fact that Elizabeth Woodville seems to have been very attached to her.
#ask#elizabeth of york#edward iv#queue#speaking of which#did I mention how much I dislike historians who state that one of Elizabeth Woodville's 'advantages' was that 'she was fertile'#and just leave it at that?#or dumbfuck Anne Boleyn stans who argue Elizabeth was 'safe' because she had a son (she was literally deposed twice but okay)#That is simply incorrect and a complete erasure of her actual - presumably difficult - experiences#Elizabeth literally 'failed' (so to speak) to have a son throughout her first queenship#She had three daughters back-to-back#Her first son with Edward IV was in fact born seven years into her marriage after her husband had already been deposed and in exile#It does her an incredibly disservice to rewrite her very complicated situation according to your own whims and fancies#Particularly considering the very unusual nature of her marriage and rise to queen (+Edward's own status as an usurper)#which meant that Elizabeth - like H8's wives after her - was in a far more precarious position than sonless foreign royal queens before her#And while the lack of a son clearly didn't affect her personal marriage (her husband celebrated their eldest daughter's birth#as though she was a male heir and was described as exceedingly happy at the time of their third daughter's birth;#they decided to go on a pilgrimage - presumably to ask for a son - *together*; etc)#That doesn't change the fact that they were in a very very difficult situation that having a son could have resolved/legitimized#Worries that may have intensified even more after 1469 when George of Clarence (second York brother) rebelled against Edward#I also suspect their lack of a son affected the nature of Warwick's propaganda against them during his rebellions#but that's a whole other topic of discussion#Either way: What we should never do is erase and rewrite Elizabeth's (and Edward's) very complex situation in the 1460s#in favor of an inaccurate but more 'convenient' alternate history#It's a little odd tbh because I HAVE seen such discussions for Anne of Bohemia; MoA; and Henry VIII's wives#who all struggled to have male heirs#But for some reason Elizabeth's situation is not even acknowledged - let alone discussed#funny how that happens#anyway#ik I went VERY off track I'm sorry about that
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Oh boy! :D I can't wait to look through my f/os tag!
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#pan rambles#I have my fair share of Canon x Canon ships of my f/os that I don't like I will admit#Usually it's just dislike and I'll leave it alone#but if y'all will give me the opportunity to be a hater just this once...#I can't stand S/hizaya (aka S/hizuo and I//zaya) It's one of the few ships I completely hate#There's those ships that I get Sick and Tired of seeing bc it's Everywhere#S/hizaya is that but like. 10x worse. And the ship isn't even that good or healthy for the both of them#I hate that ship sm I'm so sorry </3 (except not that sorry)#It's so funny-akfsnfks#As soon as I start feeling comfortable thinking about S.hizuo again#(Long story short I had some negative associations with the series/some characters ((especially I.zaya)) for a while)#I finally built up the courage to look through S.hizuo's tag and boom! Psychic Damage!!#Negative#←Just in case since I kinda went off on a rant there-afksnfkdn#Thank you for letting me be a hater just this once-
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hiiii ^^ beastlife fishie analysis. spoilers ahead. etc etc
okay so. the main point of this is simple. I don't think the salmon head cursed c!fishie. Explaining that is the harder part I think. also i'm going to refer to the salmon head thing in e5 as "the incident" from here on out because frankly i think it's funny
Let's start with the incident. The big day. etc. What happened? Why did it happen? Obligatory third questioning statement? Well. She was gifted the salmon head for her birthday by kiwi(or like. someone in the kiwibird system. -bird system. the birds). Immediately upon receiving it she relives parts of season one and fishie herself doesn't really acknowledge it. The other players definitely notice but im not caught up enough in any other pov yet to like have thoughts on that I'll come back to that point someday. Fishie seems shaken, sure, but she moves on so quickly, especially considering what happened just there. 37 seconds of standing frozen, unresponsive. she recovers in 5 seconds. And seeing how she reacts later on to realizing the memory situation--if she was aware that happened, she would probably be concerned by it. She puts it on for a brief second at the end of the party and takes it off immediately. She's otherwise normal -- well. as normal as she is otherwise up to that point. Because that is also how she acts with pretty much any salmon head, even just kiwi herself.
I raise: Episode one, about 8:20 in. The slow zoom on kiwi as the static overtakes every other noise. This is the *exact* same behavior displayed when fishie receives the salmon head, albeit without actual concrete old video footage style flashbacks. In episode two (28:55ish) the same thing happens when she looks at the salmon head in moch's house, but this time there is technically a flashback -- kiwis grave. Fishie moves on immediately and doesn't acknowledge her behavior at all, and, seeing as it is fishie, im inclined to believe that means she does not know she is doing it. Fishie (when alone) will discuss all of her problems in immense, and usually misguided detail (bestie i promise kiwi doesn't hate you???) to the audience and/or herself. I mean she's not alone in episode one, and it is technically presession, and i guess getting struck by lightning is a decent distraction from your problems, but in episode two? She is completely alone. There is nobody with her. She went looking for moch and moch is not there. She still doesn't acknowledge the fiveish seconds she is completely frozen. This happens again and again with kiwi and salmon heads.
And then that leads you to e5. The incident. She's. well. she's doing worse. 0:50. "This will distract me if i leave it up." This is the first mention from fishie herself about how fucking weird she's being, and even then she doesn't seem concerned. I think she does not realize she's being so so incredibly weird about it. If the static and freezing is what's referred to as "distraction" then keeping it in her inventory makes it worse actually so it wouldn't really make sense unless the way it is distracting her is NOT the. well. whatever the fuck is wrong with her (affectionate). After she puts the head on there's the static all the time but for a short brief amount of time she's like significantly more normal and i don't really know if that means anything i just think it's really funny.
And then we all know what goes on during the incident i'm not analyzing this video frame by frame. um. i could. but i am not going to right now. And then she has the conversation on the table with kiwi where she like is normal for 5 minutes. Like genuinely the most. i guess stable? fishie's thought process is is like in the moments directly after the incident. She is immediately understanding with the antikiwi situation, they come to an agreement that they're like. okay now. "thank you for everything and im so sorry i couldnt do more" / "it was short, but it was nice" "i knew what i was getting into when i married you" etc etc and then they kind of rush it at the end because people won't stop dying. But then fishie is fishie and takes it in the complete opposite extreme (from. um. whatever was wrong up until now. to "oh kiwibird must secretly hate me because" and then there's no real good reason she's just like that) and it's also an issue. And i think the season two memory thing is also a part of that but this is so long already and so i'm not going to get into it rn. So bringing all of this back to my original point: the salmon head was not the cause of the curse(?) because she's been so weird all the time forever and the salmon head thing was just like. an effect. of whatever went Wrong(tm) in the season transition. like the head was a vessel to Be Worse about it but i feel like it would have worked with any salmon head she got her hands on and that it happened to be kiwico was a coincidence and also that the head wasn't cursed at all there's just something deeply wrong with fishie s3 in general and uh yeah 👍
I'm so sorry this is so disjointed i had a thesis statement and everything. alas
#whisp whispers#fishie beastlife spoilers#since i had to rewatch videos these tags will serve as going insane about details i missed that were irrelevant to the post#i could make a whole thing on the parallels between fishie and bree. 'at least im not the only one with a troubled love life' yeah i guess#this is taking me ages to finish because if i think about beastlife fishie too long it genuinely spikes my heart rate#i think there's something wrong with me#fishie and bree both leaping at the oppurtunity to trade with their exes is so funny to me#someone should do indepth research about the way fishie interacts with dingo because i haven't been paying attention to it#by 'someone' i mean me because i'm the only one who can do that. other beastlife fan if you see this. holds out hand do you want#to make an analysis post with me .......#i appreciate kiwi trying so hard to do bug facts because bree's moth take is toooo insane for him. we can yes and the alien bit he draws th#line at incorrect moth facts though#'im neutral this is just fascinating' <-really funny in retrospect#*this is also taking so long forever because i keep distracted by whatever the fuck is wrong with everyone that i can't remember how to lik#put things into words#for what is a housewife without a house and no longer a wife?#'sorry guys it's just gonna be a lot of decorating today' YOUUUU. YOU. (<quote from beginning of e5)#ratchelor pad guitar riff is horrid on 2x speed. never do this what i'm doing right now#one of my irls is still in awe of the 6person boogie kill (or rather how nobody noticed fishie preparing the 6person boogie#is it boogey or boogie#does oku falling off a pillar and dying in the middle of fishie lore also count as a fishie proximity death#fishies curse is that people won't stop dying in the death games#also hiiiii fishieeeee you said you enjoyed analaysis. um. this one went a little off the rails i think and is more theory than analysis#posting this and disappearing off the face of the internet. cringe is dead but like. i mean you get it
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Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?
actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.
my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.
#sci speaks#i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me.#i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men.#i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring.#also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life.#this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed.#lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??”#“why are you together??????????”#i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror.#i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better.#the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified#but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships.#just an observation.#i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but.#of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does.#it makes a difference. it does.#which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body”#im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me.#i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have.#my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here.#sorry this went off on a tangent.#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues.#i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous.#i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got.#once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that!#couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.
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trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1
wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)
bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:
#my art lol#synth v yuma#yuma synthv#synth v#synthv fanart#synthesizer v#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#YES I KNOW ITS DIFFERENT but at this rate its the umbrella tag. all vsynth shit goes under there just like on main 😔#sorry for the annoyign watermarks i just dont want this to get stolennn/traced it'll b my joker arc. is2g#like thats never happened to me before as far as i know but now that my art is getting 'better' i begin to get scared that it will happen#if my fanart got stolen i'd def sting a little yeah but not hurt AS bad as if someone stole my original shit. THAT would hurt#one of many reasons why i post less personal oc stuffs. although as mentioned above i AM in an oc mood so i wanna draw em maybe...#and stuff like this is a step to develop a PROPER FUCKING REF STYLE bc i SUCKKKK AT MAKING REFS LOL 😭 BUT I SHOULD GIT GUD#i have a few other refs planned for vocaloid au (i guess???) related shit but they're not done yet. this one was also a wip that i just??#impulsively decided to redo & finish bc i wanted to draw but nothing else i was trying to draw came out right. advantages of many wips#i have SOOO many things i could say abt some of the things that went into this redesign but i dont wanna come off as pretentious 😔💔#obviously it was primarily inspired by the vimalion yuma design but. there's moreeee that i can't explain here bc tag limits and im shy#i do think i want to try and be more intentional with my character designs now so i'm seeing how that goes as i redesign some old ocs#man though this kind of stuff makes me remember i used to LOVEE doing this stuff. and now its even crazierr given art improvement#uaurhghh my head is buzzing w/. so many thoughts. THIS ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPENS I GET SO MANY IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY GFD#this is actually from today though unlike some other things i might eventually post. that'll make more sense soon#and fuckkk i forgot the chain necklace thing on the chibi yeah but i couldnt get it to look good. whatever
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#as i said i'm only now catching up on what happened at red rocks and honestly i'm just so confused as to#why people are getting hate mail for being at a show???? like unless you were right there at the show you will NOT know what's going on#you can't just ''leave'' a venue because there's security measures ensuring that people don't run and cause a stampede#i get that the team there sucked and should've been much better equipped for an outdoor venue but why the fuck are we blaming the fans????#and then being mad at louis??? yeah i get that his tweet wasn't the best but i'd imagine that he was trying to help out as much as he could#ensuring fans were safe and taken care of. pretty sure he is the one paying all hospital bills and stuff as well#yeah i know he's an artist and he has people doing things for him but also it's louis. he might not have been at ground zero#but i bet he was doing everything he could to help get fans to safety and he had to tweet something amidst all that#just to reassure fans a bit more and he did what he could#besides. i'm sorry but instead of being all ''louis/his team should've done more'' can we all just make sure that the fans#who were actually in that hail storm and who actually got horribly injured and who actually went through such a scary situation#are feeling okay? like why are we arguing about trivial things when what matters the most out of this situation is the fans and their safety#i honestly need people who were not at the venue and people who do not understand how traumatic things can be#to just shut up and log off#anyways to everyone present at red rocks i'm sending you so much love and i'm so sorry something so traumatic happened#i hope everyone is safe and is being treated for their injuries 💌
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Men only want ONE THING and it's DISGUSTING (Guy who's uour best friend who's always happy to see you who visibly lights up and sparkles when you enter the room who's comstantly looking out for you and doting on yiu just a little bit and making sure you're taken care of and who you trust so mucj so completely that you can share a bath and sleep side by side amd you'rw. Best Friwneds...)
AND YET. AND YET. Moe has something Worse than self-loathing going on. Like this is just denial at this point. And for WHAT (PSYCHOLOGICAL REASONS. IT'S SO DIRE)
#feh#NITPICK TIME. breakfast panel i should have given alfonse more easily stealable food but#i just went w eggs on toast w bacon just cause that's like. one of my staple safe foods LMFAOOOO#maybe imagine a hash brown. i do like hash browns...#i thought i had more nitpicks actually. any off modelness is just perspective/moe wilting and dying in that one shot.#or a consequence of drawing REALLY REALLY TINY. hitting new levels of drawing So Tiny#if i had more room to work with i would have figured out a pose where moe is still holding the bear while being hugged by alfonse#also sorry i drew his meat huge. in that final illust. as if it's my fault...........#anyways whole point of this comic is. moe is so completely cherished and adored. it is surrounded by adoration in that last panel#like. the environmental storytelling of it too. wearing one of alfonse's shirts (stolen) and has The Bear#it is so. so. SO deeply cherished and adored. and yet. it has a very hard time even just daring to believe that.#anyways this comes w the same level of deep embarrassment like i might as well have just posted porn. it's that level#so you have to be extra nice to me.#nothing wrong w that for the record i'm just shy. 🧍#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics#final nitpick actually i feel like the proportions are a bit off in the last illust... which is a shame bc i love the faces so much#but also moe is just. a small round guy. cursed w the transmasc babyface. many such cases.
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one of the absolute funniest moments on scott's tour that i wasn't able to capture on camera (for obvious reasons) was at the meet and greet after the nashville show these two older gay guys mentioned they were reading scott's wikipedia page before the show to find out more to chat about at the meet and greet and like. idk if this is just because i am very familiar with scott's wikipedia page but you could tell that was the extent of their scott knowledge (which is valid not everyone is researching a documentary on the guy)
but then they asked about the poster for the lowest show, which they'd never heard of before their wikipedia reading, specifically this quote:
"The posters—featuring Thompson lying supine on the ground with a big wad of semen dripping down the side of his face—went up around the city on September 10, 2001"
and they were like "wow we'd love to see those posters hahaha" and i immediately jump in like "oh i have that photo on my phone give me like 2 seconds"
to be clear: these guys had not interacted with me or acknowledged my existence the entire conversation. they had their backs to me when they were talking to scott, i did not introduce myself as directing the documentary since i wasn't filming and they didn't ask who i am, etc. but my brain was like "oh someone wants to learn more about scott? my time to shine, let me pull up that folder in my camera roll". even scott was like jfc here they go again.
anyway i barely had to scroll back in my doc research folder so i immediately held out my phone to the guys and showed them this
it's a photo taken days after 9/11 of scott in front of the posters for his show which was supposed to open the following week
so i hold out my phone and explain this thinking like hey i'm being so helpful these guys wanted to see this aspect of scott lore and i gave it to them!! meanwhile these two old guys are like i can't even focus on the poster anymore i am standing next to scott thompson and also WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD AND WHY DID THEY JUST HAVE THIS ON THEIR PHONE?
another one of the funniest tour moments was after meeting up with some gay guys in their 70s who were friends-of-a-friend-of-scott and immediately befriending both of them we were about to leave and i asked for their phone number and scott just rolled his eyes and was like i'll give you his phone number in the car as though he was saying "jfc jessamine this is ridiculous even for you". he never ended up giving me the old guy's number
#i just love old gay men so much lmao#and they seem to love me (or at least the ones in the second example did lmao)#also one of the other indicators that the first guys only knew about scott's personal life from his wikipedia page#is that they assumed the last boyfriend mentioned on there was someone scott was still dating to this day#and they were like ''oh i'm so happy to hear you have (boyfriend's name)'' meanwhile scott is like ''uh sorry we broke up 21 years ago''#meanwhile i'm like SAME NUMBER OF YEARS THAT I'VE BEEN ALIVE SCOTT!!#to be fair scott hasn't had a serious long-term relationship since then so we have joked about my birth somehow being the antichrist#but just for scott thompson's romantic life. like there's some curse that scott can't be in a serious relationship until i am#which is very funny bc both of us did in fact have a date we were looking forward to when we got back from the tour#in my case mine is with a hot nonbinary person who works at the venue where scott did his boston show and that's how we met lmao#this is also why i was pissed off that my instagram locked me out bc i have hot nonbinary person's instagram but not their phone number#and i said i'd message them when i got back from the tour. which i cannot do#tempted to just message them as mouth congress (the one account i can still get into) and send them my phone number#maybe i'll do that if i don't get my instagram back by buddy's birthday#anyway maybe this is oversharing about both my love life and scott's love life but i just find it very funny#like i was never someone in high school who went on dates and gossiped about it with my friends#and now i get to have some bizarre version of that where my peer group is goddamn scott thompson????#between this and me pulling up the lowest show pic in like 2 seconds yeah maybe we are weirdly close lmao#but i wouldn't have it any other way
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Thanks to your decapitated Tim hc I now hc that Tim can just pop their limbs like a magnetic doll
You pull too hard? Pop
Of course after deletion that hurts a bit
GOD. that's a fucked up thought but somehow i could see it? not on my Vic maybe but that's such a neat concept....
my sticks are headcanoned in such a way that it's kind of hard to do but i honestly love the hcs that accentuate the 'abused and discarded toy' aspect of Victim..... it's so fucked up but it's accurate to what they went through as a character....
#tommy's foolery#tommy's stickmen tag#victim is fascinating to me. there's so much wrong with them#i also love the (albeit conflicting) headcanons that victim faded from age or from the program freezing#for my vic it'd probably be the second considering their 'halo'!#the angel concept is also interesting and i like the way people draw it but just. not for me i think#probably bc i walked in the fandom right as victim went 'i'm going to torture a man' SLKJGKLDJLKSGD#victim headcanons in general are simply fascinating because we have so little basis for them#for chosen and dark we have a lot of stuff with them being extremely expressive and obvious abt what they want#but with ava 1 i don't think alan was planning much more than a one-off#so that's not exactly helpful to their character very much#and ava 6 hasn't been completed yet so we can't exactly say we know what their goals are or how they think of themself#oh god this got long. sorry
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