#i watched it yesterday and i wish i could see it a million times over

[weavingshop]

dreadreaddreaddreaddread (or ; unconnected oppenheimer vignettes)

stigmata: escaping texts ; héléne cixous//warm bodies ; issac marion + oppenheimer quoted in american prometheus ; kai bird & martin j. sherwin//plainwater ; anne carson//straw house, straw dog ; richard siken//american prometheus//unknown//the unabridged journals ; sylvia plath

[madelynn-sienna]

ms americana and the heartbreak prince (logan sargeant x reader)

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★ prompt : ❛❛ it's you and me, that's my whole world... ❜❜ ★ pairing : logan sargeant x reader ★ face claim : unnamed women on pinterest ★ genre : fluff and comfort ★ a/n : i wanted to release this yesterday but got a bit busy, but in light of william's announcement, i figured a happy, feel-good logan piece would be nice for fans of his out there (+ i feel really bad for him) 🥺 ★ feedback and requests are always appreciated!

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f1 🚩 Red flag in FP3 at Circuit Zandvoort as Logan Sargeant suffers a huge crash. Thankfully the Williams driver is out of the car and reports that he is doing okay, but the same cannot be said for his car.

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user1 he's making williams bleed money.

user2 he is definitely bringing in more than he costs. user3 logan's been in what four crashes already? user4 he's made them lose at least $3 million in repair work.

user5 glad he's okay!!

user6 they need to fire him.

user7 exactly, logan isn't good enough to race in formula one user8 dude roscoe or leo could probably drive better than him user9 honestly, how does he have a job atp user10 petition to fire sargeant before monza

user11 why is he still here?

user12 right? the crash was so avoidable. user13 he should have been replaced over summer break.

user14 how does his guy have any fans?

user15 he doesn't user16 mainly just fangirls who like him for his looks user17 how does he still have a car or a team?

user18 just sack him honestly

user19 guys stop saying bad things about him, i can't like everything!

user20 you got me at the first half 😂

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williamsracing We'd like to thank Logan for his work over the past two seasons. He will continue as a member of the Williams family and we wish him all the best for his future endeavours.

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user1 good riddance

user2 right? how did that guy have a car for this long!? user3 i mean i can drive better than logan 😂 user4 that's not too difficult uk, just don't crash 👀

user5 well done williams!

user6 took them long enough to come to their senses user7 now that they have a good car, it really was time to sack him

user8 i feel so bad 💔

user9 thank god, he's just a financial liability

user10 bye bye 😊

user11 really was about time! user12 can't wait to see colapinto in the car user13 watch him make the points in his debut race user14 that'll be so embarrassing for sargeant user15 who cares?

user16 nooooooo 🦅 🇺🇸

user17 let's go franco colapinto 🇦🇷

user18 is this really a shock to anyone?

user19 i was counting down the days after zandvoort user20 i thought they'd sack him right after that fp3 crash!

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text exchanges between y/n & logan dated 27/08.

logansargeant added to their story.

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yourinstagram there's escape in escaping.

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lilyzneimer this is so cute 💖

user1 couple goals fr fr

user2 right? i need a logan in my life 🥺 user3 why so he can crash into you? man's jobless.

logansargeant a much needed break with my favourite person ❤️

yourinstagram you deserved every second of it! logansargeant thank you for making it so special, babe. logansargeant i'm still smiling 😊 yourinstagram awww, i love you more than words can describe 💕 logansargeant not as much as i love you, but nice try 😉 user4 why are they so adorable?!?

oscarpiastri i hope you two enjoyed france, it's a beautiful place!

user4 i'm sure they did 👀 yourinstagram we had a great time, got to visit annecy too. lilyzneimer they took our suggestion osc❣️

alexalbon been to france twice in less than two months 😮

logansargeant did it without the yacht this time dude. yourinstagram its logan's new favourite country 👀 user5 what happened to mr america?! logansargeant the betrayal babe 😢

user6 they're so cute together 🫶

user7 right? we love ms americana and her heartbreak prince💜

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logansargeant Couldn't be prouder, dr. l/n 🎓 ❤️

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georgerussell congratulations y/n!

yourinstagram aww, this is so cute babe - i'm going to cry 🥺

logansargeant you deserve this moment so much ❤️ logansargeant i can't wait to watch you shine as a doctor 🤩

lilymhe such a beautiful graduation 💕

alexalbon where are my photo credits logan?!? congrats y/n

logansargeant you took one picture. alexalbon which you used! yourinstagram why do i sound like an afterthought alex 😢 alexalbon sorry? 😅 yourinstagram that sounds like a question, i'm heartbroken! alexalbon you're dramatic yourinstagram well, so are you. logansargeant presenting the drama king and queen, everyone. user1 i live for the alex and y/n banter! user2 right? they are so sibling-coded.

oscarpiastri we're so proud of you, y/n!

lilyzneimer ❤️

user3 excuse me, logan's girlfriend is a doctor?!?

user4 yeah, she graduated from oxford, she's like super smart! user5 i'm so happy for her tbh

user6 love how successful they both are rn!

user7 right? logan's doing amazing in indycar rn 🤩 user8 they're honestly living the american dream user9 after all the williams and f1 drama, i'm so deserve it

user10 it's giving miss americana

user11 so demure, so mindful user12 that trend's getting so old now 😭

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yourinstagram It's you and me, that's my whole world 💍 🫶

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user1 oh. my. god.

user2 we're finally getting mr and mrs americana🤩 user3 i can't believe she'll be mrs sargeant soon!

lilyzneimer congratulations 💕

user4 just can't take the florida out of the man

user5 i was just about to comment that! user6 this is definitely in fort lauderdale user7 they met there, so it's probably really special <3

georgerussell can't wait for the wedding mate!

alexalbon can we take a minute to appreciate my help?

logansargeant shhhhh 👀 yourinstagram go on... lilymhe please, you literally did nothing alex alexalbon i did too, i let logan borrow the marquee letters! lilymhe you let him borrow two m's and a y user8 i live for lily roasting alex in the comments 😂

oscarpiastri congrats, just saying, i expect an invitation 🥺

yourinstagram the matchmaker gets a spot on the bridal party 👀 user9 oscar introduced y/n and logan?!? user10 don't be afraid to spill the story oscar, we're all waiting...

user11 this is going to be the wedding of the year!

user12 more like the century user13 of course, it's the royal american wedding 🦅 🇺🇸

user14 i'm so happy, this has been such a good year for them

user15 right? y/n's a doctor now and logan won rookie of the year user16 what a turnaround after his f1 career user17 counting the days till they're begging him to return user18 his replacements haven't even bagged any points 😂

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yourinstagram I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover...

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logansargeant you made me the luckiest man alive, mrs sargeant ❤️

logansargeant or should i say dr sargeant 👀 yourinstagram not as lucky as i am mr sargeant 💕 yourinstagram or should i say indycar drivers' champion 😉

oscarpiastri so happy for the two of you!

lilyzneimer what a beautiful wedding ❤️

user1 you can't just drop a whole wedding with no warning 😭

user2 right? like i'm going to need 2-3 days to recover user3 i love how they were able to keep a whole wedding hidden user4 exactly, i'm glad they got some privacy.

alexalbon and best man of the year goes to...

oscarpiastri me! alexalbon the lies, the outrage, we both know it was me 😮 oscarpiastri please. alexalbon y/n, logan, what's the verdict? yourinstagram i plead the fifth! logansargeant what she said. alexalbon traitors.

user5 y/n's the prettiest bride i've ever seen 💕

user6 and logan's the most handsome groom! user7 they really are a match made in heaven. user8 i'm so, so happy for them!

user9 these pictures are so cute

user10 definitely the wedding of the year 💖

user11 that dip is so extra, but we love it 💙

user12 presenting miss americana and her heartbreak prince!

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logansargeant I was enchanted to meet you❣️

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yourinstagram the best christmas gift ever ❤️

logansargeant absolutely, i couldn't have asked for anything more logansargeant thank you for giving me this opportunity darling 💕 yourinstagram couldn't have done it without you love 💖 alexalbon they may be all love dovey here, but that's all lies alexalbon y/n threatened logan so many times during labour 😂 lilymhe cut my girl some slack, you'll have a broken hand if you put me through that kind of pain 😠 alexalbon but babies? 🥺 user1 we all know who's sleeping on the sofa tonight...

oscarpiastri so who do we have a godfather in mind?

alexalbon we both know it's going to be me. oscarpiastri i'm just saying, i am more responsible alexalbon for the 100th time, i didn't lose my cousin oscarpiastri no, you just misplaced him in a massive crowd 👀 user2 i didn't know i needed alex and oscar banter in my life.

user3 awww, the baby is so adorable

user4 right? logan and y/n make such cute babies user5 i wonder what they've named the baby... user6 we all know it's going to be the most american name ever!

user7 congratulations!

georgerussell amazing news guys! can't wait to meet her 💕

estebanocon Félicitations à vous deux!

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logansargeant I am incredibly excited to announce that i'll be returning to formula one in the coming season to drive for Haas. I would like to thank Andretti for giving me three phenomenal seasons with IndyCar and two drivers championships. I wouldn't be here without your help and guidance. This a dream come true for me, and I cannot appreciate my wife enough for all the sacrifices she has made and love and support she has showered me with in the last seven years. I am who I am today because of her.

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yourinstagram so proud of you logan, i love you ❤️

logansargeant you mean the world to me, i love you so much 💕

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[dilemmaontwolegs]

The Aftermath || LN4 {12}

Pairing: Lando Norris x widow!reader Summary: daddy!Lando struggles with balancing work and parenthood Warnings: 18+ only, fluff, mentions of pregnancy and birth WC: 2.3k

F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten || Eleven || Twelve || Thirteen || Epilogue

Lando was uneasy as he made his first appearance for the new race season, arriving in Bahrain alone. He could constantly be found on his phone, distracted, and every spare moment he had was spent on a facetime call to you. 

“Good morning, love. How are my favourite girls?” he asked quietly as the video connected.

You smiled at the sight of your husband and panned the camera to the newborn asleep in the crook of your arm. “Missing daddy.”

“I miss you too.” The exhaustion in his blue eyes faded as he watched his daughter’s chest rise and fall for a few moments. “She looks like she’s grown.”

“You’ve only been gone one night, Lan,” you chuckled softly. 

“It feels like more.” He took a seat on the bed in his hotel and leaned against the headboard with a heavy sigh. “I thought I would actually be able to sleep through but I kept waking up because it was too quiet.”

“If it makes you feel better, I was the same,” you giggled. “She slept for a whole four hours straight last night but I still woke up after two. My boobs were huge by the time she woke up for a feed.”

“Pics or it didn’t happen.”

“You have a million pictures of my boobs on your phone.”

“And I want one more. I miss them too. And your lips, and your neck, and your thighs, and your-”

“I get it, you miss me,” you laughed, accidentally waking Renleigh. 

“Hi, princess, it’s daddy,” Lando cooed softly as her eyes fluttered open, giving him a peek of the blue irises they shared. “I wish I could hold you and give you the biggest kisses.”

He clutched the necklace hanging over his shirt and his finger ran over the engraving of her name and the date she was born, only six weeks ago. Those six weeks had gone by so fast, it was almost unbelievable. Everyone said that children grow up so quickly but he hadn’t believed it until in the blink of an eye he was packing his bag, leaving you and Renleigh safely at home. It felt like only yesterday he had held her for the first time.

“What am I doing?”

You knew he hadn’t meant to ask that aloud but you humoured him anyway. “Exactly what we planned. Four more sleeps and you will be right back where you belong, baby.”

Lando groaned at the thought of another four nights sleeping apart but he knew it was safer for Renleigh at home. The thought of bringing her to the races where thousands of people roamed the paddock induced panic into him and he took a shuddering breath. “I don’t think I can do this,” he whispered.

“Yes, you can,” you assured him, shifting Ren on your shoulder so you could talk to her and he could see both of your faces on the small screen. “Your daddy doesn’t know how to give up. He never gave up on me, even when I pushed him away, and he never gave up on us when everyone told him he was crazy. He is the bravest man I know and you, my darling, are so lucky to have a daddy like that.” 

Lando blinked rapidly as his eyes started to water and the visible relief shimmered on the surface of those tears. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

Renleigh started to wriggle and grunt until you moved her to your other shoulder. The change in position must have been exactly what she needed as her body tensed and a horrific sound escaped her onesie. 

“Little lady!” Lando gasped before chuckling. “I’ll let you go deal with that, love.”

“Thanks,” you drawled as you rolled your eyes. “I’m keeping a tally of all the diaper changes you have missed so you can catch up when you get home.”

“That’s fair,” he agreed with a laugh as he wiped his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay on your own? If you need a break just to catch up on sleep Maria said she can be there in a few hours, mum too.”

“I’m alright at the minute, Lan,” you said with a little smile to Ren. “It won’t be long before we have to share her with the world, I’m savouring these moments.”

“Okay, but call me if you need anything. There’s more diapers in the garage and the groceries I ordered should be delivered this morning-”

“Lando, relax, I’ve got things locked down here,” you assured him one again as you heard the doubt creeping into his tone. “You focus on your job.”

The tv was playing quietly as you saved time and multitasked, folding the washing on the sofa while your foot gently moved the baby rocker where Renleigh slept. You just finished folding the latest load of baby clothes when the Formula One theme song began and you sat back to see what media day would bring.

A key turned in the front door before it swung open and Max waltzed in with his arms full of grocery bags, his eyes lighting up as he saw the new opening video start. “Hey Mama! Made it just in time,” he said with a grin as Lando came across the screen. “Oh, there’s our boy. Looking dapper, ol’ Bob.”

“Hey Max,” you greeted as he walked by to the kitchen. “When Lando said he had ordered groceries, I didn’t think he meant he ordered you to get them.”

“He probably didn’t want anyone seeing these get delivered,” Max said as he unpacked the bags and lifted up a pack of breast pads to frown at them. “What do these even do?”

“Catch the milk that leaks.”

His nose wrinkled and he dropped them back down. “That actually happens?”

“At the most inconvenient times too,” you muttered wistfully. No one told you that getting aroused could trigger a letdown, but you and Lando certainly found out the hard way before he left. Thankfully Lando was Lando and he found it hilarious, laughing it off to save you from utter embarrassment. 

“You’re really not selling this baby thing for me,” he stated as he tossed a tube of diaper cream over to you. 

“I’m sorry, what I meant to say was…those are just nipple pasties and my body hasn’t completely changed since I pushed an 8lb human out of my-”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, I get it.” He shivered at the thought and finished his unpacking before dropping down into ‘his’ chair and stealing the rocker away from you. “It’s not as glamorous as I imagined, but she’s pretty cute. Aren’t you, sweetheart? Wake up for Uncle Maxie.”

You chuckled softly as he unbuckled her and picked her up, but she slept as heavily as Lando and didn’t even stir. 

“Have you spoken to him?” you asked as a clip of Lando signing autographs for fans came across the screen.

Max’s lips turned down as he nodded. “He’s struggling.”

You sighed and turned the volume up as the interviews started to begin. “I don’t know how to help. If I say I’m fine without him it makes him feel like a spare part and if I say I’m not then he worries even more.”

“He just needs time to settle into the change, especially before the news breaks.” Max looked down at Ren and grinned. “You are going to break the internet, yes you are.”

“I’m surprised the secret hasn’t already come out in all honesty. Lando isn’t exactly good at keeping them.”

“This is different though, it’s for your guys' privacy. But it was funny to see you sneaking around under baggy hoodies, can’t do that now that the weather’s warming up and she’s on the outside.”

“I was incognito!”

He looked like he was going to argue before he pointed to the screen and you saw Lando in front of a Sky News reporter.

“Welcome back, Lando, how was your winter break?”

A bright smile lit up his face and it felt like it was just for you as he stared down the camera lens. “It was the best one yet.”

“Your social media updates were noticeably empty of your wife and we haven’t seen her yet around the paddock. Is she well? Is everything alright?”

“She’s good, really good.” His nervous mannerisms started to leak through as he scratched the back of his neck before fidgeting with his necklace. “She wishes she could be here. She has something more important happening at the moment to make any of the overseas races but they’ll come to Imola.”

“Whomp, there it is,” Max chuffed as you both heard the slip up.

“Maybe they missed it?”

The droll stare he gave you showed just how little he believed that. “Yeah and I’m a unicorn.”

“There was that one time,” you pointed out, reminding him of the time Lando and Mila had drawn on his face while he slept. “It was a dick on your forehead, not a horn, but it’s really the same thing.”

“They?” the reporter prompted, the microphone pushing even closer to Lando’s pink cheeks.

“I…uhh…”

You bit your lip as your husband grew more uncomfortable and you pulled your phone out, knowing he would answer no matter what.

“One sec,” Lando said as held up a finger and stepped back from the mic to answer. “Hi, love, everything okay?”

“Are you?”

His sigh was answer enough and you saw him comb a hand through his curls. “I think we need to change strategies. I fucked A up.”

“It was an accident,” you said softly. “That’s why there’s a plan B. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Now go on, you’ve been itching to post it for months.”

Lando was smiling as he ended the call and walked back to the reporter with his phone in hand. “So, they,” he stopped to giggle with excitement. “That would be in regards to this.”

Lando turned his phone to the screen just as he hit post on the Instagram picture, sharing your news with the world. Going on your honeymoon for two weeks had been sublime but what you had returned home with was even better.

“Congratulations! Any hint as to the due date?”

 “I think I’ve given you enough already, haven’t I?” he shot back, still riding the high of adrenaline after posting the picture. “But we would really appreciate some privacy, I can’t exaggerate it enough. If you see us on the street, I’m happy to sign autographs and take a picture with you but please respect my family and only take photos of me.”

“He’s jealous of sharing the attention,” Carlos called out behind him. 

“Yeah, that’s exactly it, you caught me.” Lando immediately covered his crotch as Carlos passed by and tried to hit him in the nuts. “Ah, no, stop that, I want another kid or two before you damage them.” 

“That’s news to me. My stitches have barely healed and he wants me to go through that again.” Max looked at you confused. “It’s called an episiotomy, look it up if you want nightmares.”

“No thanks.”

You were wearing the rug thin in the living room as you impatiently waited for Lando’s return. You had paced back and forth for an hour since seeing Lando’s plane land on the flight radar app. Ren was tucked snugly against your chest in a baby wrap and had quickly fallen asleep with the rocking movement but you started to unwrap her when you saw the pair of headlights coming up the drive.

Renleigh wasn’t too happy at being woken up but you softly cooed to her as she settled back down, “Daddy’s home, baby girl.”

It took a moment for him to see you as he came in from the garage, his suitcase trailing behind him. Dark circles surrounded his eyes and he pulled his cap off as he walked through the doorway, combing a hand into the curls that had been flattened.

“Hi baby,” you greeted when he spotted you in the dimly lit living room despite the late hour. “You didn’t think we would miss your homecoming, did you?”

He crossed the room with a few long strides, his suitcase clattering to the floor as it was forgotten, and he enveloped you both in his arms. “I missed you,” he repeated over and over as he kissed your lips and then Renleigh’s forehead. His eyes fluttered shut and his face relaxed as he buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply like he had forgotten her baby scent. “I missed you.”

“We missed you too,” you said as you handed Ren over. “Someone is ready for bed, and I think her daddy is too.”

“Yeah? You want daddy to put you to bed?” he asked as he nuzzled her nose. “One more minute, I need my cuddles first.”

He took a seat on the couch and settled Renleigh on top of his chest as they both yawned. “I can’t wait until you are bigger, baby girl. It breaks my heart to be away from you and mama.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you sat beside him and draped your arm over his shoulders, combing your fingers through his hair. He hummed softly as you massaged his head and you felt his head growing heavier as his whispered conversation grew quieter. A soft snore finally escaped and his head rolled onto your shoulder as the exhaustion from his travels won and you kissed his forehead.

“It breaks my heart too.”

Click here for chapter thirteen.

Tagging: @yunnie-f1 @neiich @zendayabelova @stillbreathin @dr3lover @writerscurse @christianpulisic10 @alwaysclassyeagle @alexisquinnlee-bc @purplephantomwolf @lightsoutletsgo @pleasantducktimetravel @pierre-gasllllllyyyyyy @holy-macncheese-balls @belennasif @ophcelia @love4lando @ryiamarie @mickslover @tyna-19

[yuseirra]

I was here yesterday~

It was actually fun (except for all the anger and frustration). I didn’t even notice time passing... Everything was really well-organized! Everyone sang, exercised, and chanted together.

Never vote for politicians who scurry away to protect their own party and power over the people. I watched it all live. Imagine how I felt, seeing grown politicians—several times my age—running away. Those people will definitely make their way into the history books, and not in a good way. They should have at least stayed to vote. Here in Korea, we ask politicians to vote; it’s not the other way around. The irony, huh?? God. How can this even be. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Everyone waited and called for them to come back and vote for hours. Over a million people had gathered!!! My throat hurts so much from chanting, “Come back and vote!” (By the way, the chant at the end, which sounds like too-pyo-hae, is “투표해,” meaning “vote!”) And, of course, they ignored us.

EVEN IF THEY WISHED TO STAY IN POWER, there are basic things you must do to be a decent human being in the 21st century. How can anyone defend a person who attempted a coup??? It's crazy!! If this continues, I’ll keep rejoining the protests again and again. This isn’t about being conservative or liberal—our basic rights were nearly stripped away! What are these politicians even doing? They’re too cowardly to show up and vote.

I really don’t want to talk so much about politics—I want to draw fan comics, for goodness sake! I'm an indoor person and yesterday was cold. I have to though? I haven’t been able to sleep well these past few days because of this ridiculous news.

But I have to say, Korea’s protest culture is admirable. Even in these frustrating and grim times, people managed to make the protests feel welcoming and even entertaining. I’m still proud I went—it was a positive experience. It could only be this peaceful because people fought so hard to achieve democracy, even shedding blood to get here. Even protests can be fun sometimes, things were so peaceful and everyone who joined demonstrated mature civic awareness! Being a witness to it was memorable. Def ready to do it again.

[agent-whiskeys-sweetheart]

Oxytocin (iv)

Pairing: Egon Spengler x F!Reader

Summary:  While looking for a new research assistant Egon finds you, a parapsychologist whose always wanted to be a Ghostbuster. Little did you both know that there would be a lot more than research and ghostbusting that would bring the two of you together.

Warnings: Suspense, injuries (reader), fluff.

When you woke up that morning you had a dreadful headache. You weren’t sure if it was from stress or if perhaps you were having a sympathy hangover. Needless to say, you didn’t feel very well at all. Turning over to pick up the phone, you dial Ray’s number. Something told you that if you were to call Egon he would shower you in apologies and frankly, you just didn’t want to deal with that now.

“Morning Ray. I’m sorry to do this but I’m not feeling good today. I was hoping I might be able to rest and come in tomorrow.” 

“Oh my gosh, of course! Whatever you need.” 

“Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He affirms the same and you hang up. Now that you don’t have to go into work you honestly feel a million times better. You suppose it might have just been the anxiety of having to face Egon after the previous night’s debacle. 

After what felt like hours of laying in bed you finally decide to get up and make some kind of breakfast. A bowl of cereal sounds like the most appetizing thing so you make one for yourself and sit at the kitchen table. For most of the day you take up residence in front of the TV, watching whatever is on. When a Ghostbusters commercial comes on, you flip the channel. You couldn’t even look at him. 

Just as you were about to lay down, there was a sharp knock at the door. Your brow furrows as you check the peep hole. Oh. My. God. It was Egon. You cursed, taking a breath before opening the door.

“Egon. Hi.” You say. 

“Good afternoon, Y/N. May I come in?” Why the hell not at this point?

“Sure.” You open the door up further, letting the man into the living room. He stands there for a moment, taking in his surroundings.

“This is a lovely apartment.” He compliments. 

“Thank you.” You cross your arms. “Um. Why are you here?” 

“Well, Ray told me that you were sick and I know of a place that makes an excellent chicken noodle soup so I thought I’d bring you some.” Of course. Of course he had to barge into your apartment and act like the sweetest, kindest, and most gentle man ever. You could just beat your fists against his chest with how much love you felt. 

“Oh, thank you. That’s very sweet of you.” You took the bowl of soup from him, jogging into the kitchen to put it in the fridge. 

“Well, it’s the least I could do.” The air hung heavy with the implications of the night before. Here we go. “Y/N, I’m very sorry about what happened yesterday. When Ray told me you weren’t going to be at work, I was afraid it was because of last night. I know I was terribly out of line. I don’t drink. Ever. It was uncalled for.” 

“Look, Egon. No apology needed.” 

“Now, Y/N--” You stop him. 

“You really don’t need to say sorry. I’m not mad, I promise. In fact, I think in some way I kind of understand why you did it.” 

“You do?” This caused him to seem nervous. 

“Yes, I do. There’s nothing wrong with the way you’re feeling. I just wish you would talk to me about it instead of getting drunk on a Monday night!” The man stood there, lost in thought for a moment. 

“How do you know what I’m feeling?” Was what he managed to say. You couldn’t help but laugh at the way he beat around the bush.

“God, Egon. I mean, you are something else. Really. How do you think I know how you feel?” You waited briefly for a response and when you didn’t get one you continued. “Because I feel the same way about you!” As hard as it was, you were getting closer to the truth.

“How can you know I feel the same?” Now you were frustrated. 

“I don’t! Why do you think I’m ‘sick’ today? Because I couldn’t stand the thought of another day of this! Of you not telling me how you feel, of not just being honest with yourself about the fact that you like me! And maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you don’t feel the same way. If that were the case, well-- Jesus, I don’t know which one is worse. Realizing you don’t care at all or knowing you do and you still not acting on it.” Egon was taken aback by your outburst, unsure of what to say next. So you continued. “Don’t you think it just eats me up inside to know that I could have you, truly have you the way I want, but you’re just out of reach? You’re keeping yourself distanced.” 

“Stop.” He said softly but you couldn’t. Not now. 

“Do I really need to be the one to say it? I like you Egon!” 

“Y/N, stop.” 

“I like you more than I’ve ever liked anybody and I’m tired of hiding it!” 

“Please.” 

“I am in love with Egon Spengler! I--” Before you could finish your statement he was gripping your arms tightly, pulling your body flush against his own, and kissing you. Deeply. Passionately. Exactly how you’d dreamt it. Surely a dream was all this was. However, you could feel every sensation. The warmth of his lips, the strength of his hands, his skin on yours. His breath on your face as he pulled away. You were silent, eyes closed. His voice roused you from your trance. 

“Y/N, don’t you dare think that I don’t love you.” God, that sounded so good coming from him. “I’ve loved you from nearly the first moment I met you. I think about you every second of every day. I think about you when you’re with me, I think about you when you’re gone. That’s terrifying for me. You know that my brain is my biggest asset. To have it consumed with you is difficult for me. I’ve been trying to learn how to deal with that. I’m a genius in many ways but not with this kind of thing. I’ve wanted to blurt it out for weeks now but I just ... can’t. I’m not brave like you. But I do want you too.” 

The two of you stood there in stunned silence, realizing what had just happened. You had both just said it. It was finally out there in the world, the fact that you loved each other. Now there was no taking it back as much as some part of you wanted to. The deed was done. The only thing left was ... what should you two do about it?

“Okay. I love you. You love me. You just kissed me. We’ve done the confession bit. Now what?” You inquire. He looks down at his feet.

“Well, the best course of action would be for us to go on a date.”  

“I agree.” 

“How about Friday at 8pm? I can come pick you up.” 

“That sounds lovely.” 

“Would you like to organize the evening or should I surprise you?”

“Surprise me.” You said with a smile. 

“Alright then. I’ll see you Friday at 8.” 

“Well, actually you’ll see me at work tomorrow. And the next day. And then date time.” You correct him, unsure of what the week would be like in anticipation of your date with Egon Spengler. 

“Right. Of course.” He really wasn’t kidding about not being able to think around you. It endeared your heart to him even more. 

“Well, thank you for stopping by.” 

“Thank you for having me.” With that you escorted him to the door, ready to lie down for a while and think about the afternoon’s events. However, just as you were about to close the door his foot lodged in the threshold, effectively stopping you. With one strong hand he pushed the door open again and took a few steps back inside. 

Then he was kissing you again. Just as passionately as before. One hand found your cheek and the other rested on your hip as he pulled you as close as humanly possible, his lips soft on yours. When he finally pulled away it was like the first time all over again. You were breathless, eyes closed as you lost yourself in the moment. 

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t leave without doing that one more time.” 

“No apology needed.” You echo your earlier statement. He gives you one last longing look while carressing your cheek and then he’s out the door. You close it behind him, pressing your back up against it as you contemplated everything that had just occurred. You finally knew his real feelings. He had told them to you. He had said it right to your face and you had acted like he said those kinds of things every day. God, you felt like an idiot. It was the best moment of your life and you hadn’t even handled that correctly. You would have to make a better impression on your date. However, he did say that he liked you. He hadn’t given any stipulations, he just said that he liked you. Exactly for who you are. That was the shining beacon of hope that you clung to as you climbed into bed, falling asleep fairly quickly.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Much to your surprise, it was Friday before you knew it. You had been looking forward to it all week but you couldn’t admit that to Egon. Instead you simply went about business as usual. It wasn’t completely the same though. You noticed that he moved a bit closer to you as you worked together. He would do everything in his power to make contact with you as the two of you worked. It was very endearing to you, finding his efforts quite sweet. 

Electricity hung in the air as you both continued your experimentation on Friday. It was all you could do not to jump out of your skin. You wanted to kiss him again and again and again. What you really wanted was to push him back on the work table to see what he could really do. He had been a tease all week with his tantalizing touches, you were yearning for more. However, after the events of Monday night you weren’t even sure if Egon’s mind was in that place anymore. And now that you had confessed your feelings for one another, would he want your first time together to be for the sake of an experiment? You knew you wanted it to mean more than that and you were sure now that he did too. Who knew. Maybe the two of you would never be intimate. All you knew was his touches were driving you up the wall. It was impossible to focus on work. 

He noticed this but didn’t say anything, simply assuming that you were nervous about the evening’s upcoming date. And you were to an extent. However, at the same time, it was Egon. You had known him for several months by this point and now that you two knew you were in love, what was stopping you from simply enjoying your first date together? Nothing. You were free to be as happy as you wanted. 

The day was a blur and before you knew it Egon was saying goodbye to you. Of course you both knew that he would be seeing you again in a few hours but that wasn’t any big deal. Not anymore. The hard part was over. Now, it was on to the fun stuff. You went home and changed into the nicest dress you had after taking a shower. You felt clean and confident, taking a seat on your couch as you anxiously awaited Egon’s knock. When it finally came you were bolting for the door, taking a deep breath before you opened it for him. Upon seeing him in all his glory, dressed up in a tux, you were speechless. He looked so breathtaking it took everything in you to speak. 

“You look ... God, you look good.” You said. When you looked in his eyes you realized that he was having a very similar reaction upon seeing your outfit. You blushed at the sight of his enchantment. 

“Y/N.” As he said this he took a step into the threshold, taking a soft grip of your waist to pull you closer. “You are the most stunning woman I have ever laid eyes on.” Before you could take time to respond his lips were greeting yours happily. Your eyes fluttered closed as you took him in. When you both pulled away you each had a deep red blush blooming in your cheeks. “Should we go?” 

“Yes.” He led you outside to where the Ecto-1 was parked. You giggled at seeing the vehicle. You were being escorted to your dream date in the most attention drawing car you’d ever been in. It was perfect. He opened your door before sliding into the driver’s seat. 

“The boys let me borrow the car just for the occasion.” He added with a grin. There was that dry witty humor that you loved so much. As the two of you rode in the direction of wherever Egon was taking you his hand found your knee, resting there gently. You glanced down at it every now and again, scared that it would disappear. However, it didn’t. This wasn’t a dream. This was real life. And it was all yours. 

Whenever you pulled up outside you saw that the two of you were at one of the nicest restaurants in town. He walked around to your door and helped you out before you could open it for yourself. Once you were outside the vehicle you went to make your way up the steps that led into the restaurant. As you did so, the toe of your heel got caught on a step and you stumbled, nearly falling over. This did not escape anyone’s attention and you wanted to scream. However, the man beside you didn’t make you feel embarrassed at all. He simply extended his arm to you with a smile. You took it as his opposite hand came to rest on top of yours. “Sorry. I don’t wear heels very often.”

“That’s okay. Neither do I.” The two of you laughed alongside each other as he passed off the keys to the valet. Once inside, the waiter escorted you to a table by a window giving you a perfect view of the city at night. “This place is so beautiful Egon. Thank you.” 

“Of course. You deserve nothing less.” Such a gentleman.

“It’s so odd being here with you. I don’t hardly know what to say.” 

“Why don’t you just tell me about you? I want to know every facet of you and your personality.” Just as you go to open your mouth, he holds up a finger to stop you. “Just make sure you tell me very slowly so that it takes a very long time.” He smirks, causing you to blush. You swallow, not sure how to continue after his blatant flirting. After a minute of dancing around your own words, you both find a comfortable pace of conversation. Once you’re over that initial slump, it’s so easy to talk to him. It’s like you’ve known him your entire life. The two of you exchange anecdotes and stories, getting lost in one another’s company. You’re so lost in each other that you almost miss the waiter coming up to your table to take your orders.

“I’ll have the--” You start but Egon politely cuts you off. 

“Could I actually order for you? I have something in mind I think you’ll really enjoy.” You smile, unable to hide how cute you find the gesture. 

“Of course. I did say to surprise me.” The waiter leans over Egon’s shoulder as he points out what he’d like to order. With that, the waiter disappears back into the kitchen, leaving the two of you to continue your delightful conversation. It went on like that for a while until the waiter came out with your food. When he came back out you saw that Egon had ordered you an assortment of Chinese entrees. You smiled. It was a reference to your first lunch together. That first awkward, terrible lunch. What a change from then to now. 

“I knew this place had a Chinese platter that I thought you’d like.” 

“I do. I like it a lot. Thank you.” You both smile up at each other before digging in, not worrying about seeming polite. At this point, you both know that you’re comfortable in front of each other so you felt no need to put on airs about the way that you both eat. 

The meal is heavenly. The two of you continue to talk as you pick through what’s left, commenting on how much you both enjoyed it. “I would order us some wine but I feel like maybe I shouldn’t.” Egon laughed, referencing his little drunken outburst earlier that week. You couldn’t help but laugh as well, remembering what a disaster that night had been. Just as you were about to tease him about it, the waiter came up to your table again beckoning your attention.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Mr. Spengler, but you have a call at the front desk.” The two of you exchanged a wary glance. 

“Of course.” He sets his napkin down beside him before getting up and following the waiter to the front of the restaurant. 

You sat there patiently, finishing the rest of your food as you waited for Egon to get back. The minutes seemed to tick past endlessly. As you sat there you couldn’t help but feel the pitiful gazes of the other customers. Another waiter even came up to ask if you were alright. You affirmed that you were, feeling embarrassed at the attention. Eventually he came back to the table however he didn’t look happy. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. That was Ray. There’s something urgent that needs my attention. The guys are out on a call but Janine just got another emergent request. I have to go take care of this. We’ll have to cut the date short.” He extends a hand to help you up. You take it. 

“Of course, Egon. Whatever you need.” The two of you walk out of the restaurant arm in arm, jogging down the steps to where the Ecto-1 was waiting for you. He was about to open your door for you when he seemed to get a sudden realization. You watched the wheels turn in his head for a minute and then he turned to you excitedly. 

“Would you accompany me on this job?” As soon as the words came out of his mouth you could swear you heard a chorus of angels in your head. He was really asking you to go ghost busting with him. This was a dream end to your date which was already perfect. 

“Yes, Egon! Yes. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’d love to.” Seeing your happiness made him blush and he helped you into the vehicle. You were practically vibrating in your seat as Egon slid into the driver’s seat, looking over at you excitedly. Both of you were beaming. As he drove off, turning on the sirens overhead, his hand returned to your knee. Your mind buzzed as you sped down the Manhattan streets in the direction of your first real job with the Ghostbusters. 

When you arrived, you were outside of a hotel. It was one you’d never seen before. It was several stories tall and it looked old and nearly abandoned. Looking up at the building, you almost didn’t notice that Egon was opening your door to help you out again. When you stepped out of the car, you both headed around to the back where the proton packs were stored. They almost always had them in the Ecto-1 in case they should need them. Tonight was a perfect example of that fact. He pulled out the first pack and turned towards you. 

“Alright. I’m sure you’re familiar with our equipment.” 

“Yes. Very familiar.” 

“Then this should be no problem. Let me help you into it.” With that, you spun around so that your back was facing him. When you turned around he noticed a particular feature of your dress that he hadn’t caught onto before. The entire back was open, exposing your skin to him. You waited for him to strap you into the pack however before he could you felt his fingertips graze over your skin, making a trail up and down your bare back. The sensation made you shiver. You turned around slowly to look at him. When he saw that you were looking at him he began to blush. “Sorry.” He mumbled before hoisting the pack up onto your back. It was lighter than you expected. As soon as you were successfully strapped in you took a hold of the particle thrower, pulling it from the rest of the pack. It was like you’d been handling one of these your whole life. Egon was silently impressed as he watched you navigate your way around the equipment. 

When you turned back around, Egon had also strapped into one of the proton packs. With both of you well equipped you headed up the steps into the building. As soon as you made your way into the lobby you were greeted by the hotel manager. He almost did a double take upon seeing you both in your nice attire. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. I’m sorry to have interrupted your plans but this couldn’t wait. There’s ... something ... on the top floor that is terrorizing our guests. I need help. Please, do something!” 

“Of course. That’s why we’re here. Do you know what kind of a ghost you have on your hands?” Egon asked the manager. 

“If I knew what kind of ghost I had I wouldn’t be calling you!” 

“Well, we’ll take care of it.” The two of you jog over to the elevator, pressing the up button. Luckily it was late enough that the lobby was fairly clear. When the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, you both stepped inside and pressed the button for the top floor. As soon as you were situated Egon began to walk you through how to work the proton pack. You listened intently, finding all of the various parts and figuring out how it all worked. By the time you arrived on the top floor you knew exactly what to do. You both stepped out of the elevator. All seemed fairly quiet. No guests were wandering about. It was just silent. “Alright, keep an eye out. We don’t know what we’re dealing with here yet so be prepared for anything, okay?” 

You nodded as the two of you began to creep down the hall, keeping your eyes peeled as you looked down each and every corridor. Just as you were about to the end of the floor that’s when you saw it. It looked like a woman but it had no legs. It was a deep pinkish purple, levitating near the wall. It wasn’t facing either of you, turned towards a vase of flowers. Your eyes became wide as you realized what you were looking at. It was really a ghost, before your very eyes. You had studied them religiously yet you had never seen one in person before. This date just got better and better, you thought to yourself. 

“That’s a Class 5 full torso apparition. Be careful. These things can be awfully destructive.” Egon whispers. You nod, unable to speak. 

The two of you take a step closer, trying not to alert the entity to your presence. It’s all you can do not to jump out of your skin from excitement. With particle thrower in hand and the pack already powered up, all you had to do was aim and shoot. However, some part of you didn’t want to. Some part of you wanted to keep observing. You wished you had your notepad so you could be taking notes of its behavior. That was just the research assistant in you. 

You awaited Egon’s signal, knowing that he would tell you when it was time to throw the stream. His hand hovered in the air, waiting for the right moment. You were almost close enough to touch her and yet Egon still hadn’t given the go ahead. Before he could she floated in a circle, turning to face the two of you. You both stopped in your tracks, terrified beyond belief at suddenly drawing her attention. However, she did nothing. Simply floated there, looking at you. Right at that moment, Egon gave you the signal you had been waiting for. The two of you threw your streams in her direction. However, as soon as the packs kicked into gear she disappeared. The streams ran along the wall, leaving a streak of fire and ash in their wake. 

“I’m so sorry!” You told him instinctively, feeling bad about the damage you had just caused. You were sure that their bills were through the roof from how much destruction they caused on the job. 

“It’s okay. Occupational hazard. Don’t worry about it.” He assured. 

You both ran back down the hall you had come down as Egon pulled out the PKE meter, trying to find where she had gone. In the middle of the floor was a large open lobby. There were four large columns on all corners of the open space. The middle had a piano and a few furniture pieces. In the middle of that lobby you found her floating, close to the piano. Egon’s hand went up again however, he didn’t wait nearly as long to give the signal this time. He gave you the go and you turned on your particle thrower, a stream of light coming from one end in the direction of the ghost. This time you actually made contact with her, your stream tangling around her form as if it was a net. Egon began fumbling for the trap as you held her there. 

“That’s excellent! Keep holding her!” Egon yelled out over the sound of the stream. However, what you hadn’t anticipated was how hard it would be to keep her still. She was powerful, much stronger than you thought she would be. Just as Egon was sliding the trap onto the floor she overtook you and snapped the stream away from her. The both of you exchanged a worried glance as you struggled to aim at her again, thrown off guard by her strength. When you glanced back up at her, she was charging in your direction. Thinking fast, you ducked, watching her fly over head. However, what you didn’t realize was that she had run head first into the column behind you. 

You stood to your full height, happy that you had avoided her. That’s when you heard Egon’s voice. “Y/N! Watch out!” Then you heard the crumbling sound from behind you. You turned just in time to see the column fall apart and collapse directly towards you. You sprinted for the other side of the lobby but you weren’t fast enough. A large chunk of rubble came crashing down on top of your calf, instantly shattering the bone. You let out a piercing cry and fell to the floor. Everything around you started to become blurry as you fought against the giant piece of column. Just as the edges of your vision became dark you saw Egon’s terrified face. Then you were gone.

Tags: @localsimpmigraine​ @theespookybitch​ @twinkie-buttercream​ @fizzyfazzy420​ @boneless07​ @holewithinahole​ @spengler-in-a-jar​ @the-hidden-pages​ @the-mechanical-angel​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @egonscalculator​ @sporesmoldsfungus​ @tedesquire​ @killerheelsonadiscodancefloor​ @emeraldborealis​ @bisexual-thoughtss​ @notquitecanon​ @finniestoncrane​ @lonelyridesinecto-one​ ​​@tinyvesselhearts    

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way: Chapter 5

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, an both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death

New character alert! Face claim, of course, is Oscar Isaac, specifically his look in Drive 🥰

****************

Dandelion

A million little wishes float across the sky

But it's a waste of breath and it's a waste of time I know

Cause just like him, you always leave me cryin' dandelion~Danelion, Kacey Musgraves

“So then Luke goes to Dangobah to find Yoda”

“Wait, whose Yoda? Is that another Jedee?”

“Jedi, but yes”

“Why?”

“Old Ben told him to”

“Isn’t he dead?”

“Yes, but he came to Luke at the start of this movie?”

“What? When?”

“When Luke was in the cave”

“Are we sure he wasn’t hallucinating?”

“I- No, no it was Ben. Jedi can come back in visions, like ghosts”

“Well, that’s awfully convenient”

“The force makes a lot of things convenient”

Joel was doing as he promised, explaining the Star Wars movies you had never had a chance to watch so you could understand the collection of comics he had found. You weren’t particularly interested in the comics, but they seemed to excite him, so you were going to read them, hoping to continue in conversation about it. This was the first time you two had talked about anything other than The Horrors for longer than a short back and forth, in fact, this was the only piece of personality or hints of before he had given you, the rest you had gleaned from Tommy. Joel was curled up with you on your mattress, having held you close all day yesterday and last night, and after what happened with Nick, after all Joel did for you, you happily accepted it. Joel had been soft before, absolutely, but not like this, and never this long… it bordered on Tommy territory. Slowly, you noticed little similarities, small phrases or mannerism that said yeah, these two are brothers, despite the drastic differences.

He played with your hair as he laid with you, tender in his touch, it was damn near domestic you almost forget where you are.

“Do you wanna go outside? Go for a walk?” Joel asks, his voice strangely soft in your ear.

You can’t help but smile at that. “That would be nice, thank you.”

Joel instructs you to stay put, and goes into his room and comes back with shoes he must’ve gotten and kept hidden from you; you’d get farther if you ran away wearing shoes. He knelt down beside you, lacing them up and tying them for you. He, of course held your hand tightly the entire time.

He asked if you wanted to see him. You knew what he meant.

Joel had kept him strung up, hanging from the oak tree, and although you had seen many horrific things in your short time on this god forsaken planet, the sight of a man you knew, hanged, skinned and swaying in the crisp spring Wyoming breeze… this was one of the worst. Somehow, however, you couldn’t find yourself feeling any guilt. Nick had done what he did knowing full well what Joel was capable of. The risk he took was calculated, but like you, it seems he couldn’t do math.

You felt Joel slide up behind you, unsurprisingly hard, no doubt recalling last night as his hands slide around your middle, his lips beginning to graze your neck and you couldn't help but remember how he had fucked you while telling you the graphic things he had done to your rapist.. “Do you still wanna cut off his dick?” He nudges your eyes to Joel’s switchblade still in Nick’s heart.

The idea was sexy while Joel was fucking you, but the reality of it was, frankly... Icky. “Can you?”

He kisses your cheek. “Happily.” Joel directs you, his long arms reach around, taking the blade out of his naked body and, with the aid of rigor mortis, he swiftly cut off the bastards dick. Stabbing the switchblade back into Nicks cold chest, Nick’s cock between the blade and his skin. “Feeling better, little one?” His arms are quickly back to you, the hand that held the switchblade playing above the line of your sweatpants. 

“Yes, Joel” You sighed, leaning your head back into him as his hand went between your legs. You did feel better actually. The whole situation you were in was fucked, but you did feel better…

He began finger fucking you, and although you realize he hadn’t washed his hands since skinning Nick, you weren't bothered. You were about to fuck about two feet away from a rotting corpse... “Let's go back to the house.”

“No” You whispered, and Joel looked at you curiously. “Here.” You get yourself situated against the tree trunk, and you swore you heard Joel chuckle; he had you whipped.

“Good girl” He adjusted you as needed, you brace against the tree Nick was hanging from, his body feet from you, and Joel pushed your ass out, pulling down your pants before slamming into you. “Good fucking girl” He pace was immediately hard and fast, and at this angle you swore…

“Joel.”

He didn’t stop. “Hm?“

You grab his hand, placing it over your stomach, where he could very very clearly feel himself entering you, his hard cock protruding out your stomach. “You feel that Joel?”

The hand on your hip was painfully tight, he growled and bite into your neck. “Fuck, fuck baby, you like me pounding you like this? Out in the open where anyone can see you?”

“Yes” You whine, having to  rest your face on the rough bark, sweat prickling at your skin even in the cold, his hands making you feel so, so warm. “I know you’ll protect me”

He moved one hand to the tree trunk, protecting your face from the scratches, his other moving to your clit, although right now you were certain he could make you cum just from just dick right now. “I’ll always protect you, little girl, always. Won’t let nothing bad happen to you ever again.” The irony was clearly lost on him, seeing as most of your suffering was at his hands but, fuck, if it wasn’t starting to get lost on you too… He was so tender when he wanted to be, the good was so, so good, and the sex… fucking hell. He pulled your ass out a little more and suddenly you were blinded, a brand new feeling making you cry out “Right there, pretty girl? Stay still, I’ll take care of you. Look at him” Joel turned your face to the decomposing body next to you. “Look at him, little one, I’ll always take care of you”

Why did this always make you feel so fucking warm? “I know, Joel, I know, J-Joel, fuck!” You rest your face fully on his large, veiny hand, protecting you from the tree, protecting you from Nick, protecting you from everything…

For a few weeks, things go better than they had been for years. Sex with Joel kept getting better and better, and he was opening up more. Not much from before, just little bits like telling you the plots of his favorite movies… you hadn’t been in his room, nor Tommy’s… Tommy had shifted a bit too. He was more and more affectionate with you, with the door closed of course… He held you in his arms, missing you brother, or when you called out to him in the middle of the night from nightmares and he pulled you onto his lap and cradled you when you cried… sometimes he went away from days on work as trusting more that Joel wouldn’t hurt you again and none of the men would dare. You were on dangerous waters, you knew, but sometimes you could only sleep when you smelled Tommy’s skin… but again, dangerous.

That’s why, when no one came into your room with breakfast, or lunch, or to spend time with you or fuck you… you were worried. Not as worried as you were when the door finally opened and a new face appeared with food.

You scramble to stand up, images of Nick and early days of Joel flashing in your head, and you open your mouth to scream for Tommy, but he cuts you off.

“Relax, sweetheart, Nick’s body is still rotting out there, I’m not tryna match him.” He spoke with a thick accent you’d heard before; your brother, Zach, had said it was from somewhere east, one of the big cities, but wasn’t sure where. 

“What do you want?” You ask, still shaking.

He set down the food. “Tommy’s paying me to feed you today”

You narrow your eyes at the sandwich. “You’re not doing very well, missed a meal.”

He shrugged with a small, smug smile. “Didn’t pay me enough for that.” He watched you still eying the food suspiciously “You wanna talk to him?”

“Where is he? Where’s Joel…” You can’t imagine they would let a random man in your room if one was able to do this…

“Food poisoning, we think.” 

You look at the sandwich again. “I’m not eating that”

He laughed, obnoxiously loud. “Smart girl. Come on, you can make yourself something” He nudged out the door.

You couldn’t help perk up at that. You get to leave? You get to make your own food? You weren’t sure who the man was, but you were happy to take the little bit of independence. You wouldn’t do anything that would make Joel mad, just put together a sandwich or heat up some soup! How strange your life had become that these were the little pleasures. 

The man watched you intently as you managed to make some soup. He was short; taller than you still, but short none the less, a few inches under Tommy. His hair was buzzed as was his beard, dark hair to match dark skin, and large eyes that watched you like a bug.

It was fun, cooking again… You had rather enjoyed when you still were living with your dad, your mom taught you well, you were a good cook… you wondered if Joel might let you cook more… you save soup for them when they were feeling better, maybe they’d like it enough you could continue? You toast some bead on a frying pan, demand (well, ask, but with a little force) to see Joel.

When you tentatively peaked through the cracked door and Joel saw you, his eyes went wide and you saw he was about to get up, no doubt thinking you got loose, so you opened the door to reveal the strange new man you hadn’t seen around the house before. “It’s okay, he’s with me. I wanted to check on you… can I come in?” Joel lays back down, tentatively, obviously not thrilled about being seen in a vulnerable position. He was clearly sick, his tanned skin looking pale, his eyes bleary and you couldn’t help but feel bad for him… even as you placed your hand on your hip, feeling the JM etched into your skin… a reminder of what he could do… You kneel down before him with the toast. “Can you try and eat some of this for me?”

He shakes his head. “I feel like shit”

Opting to sit by him, you gently play with his hair. He looked so young like this… “I know, sweetie… but you gotta try and eat… keep up your strength. Toast won’t be so bad on your stomach…” You try to coax, and look up to see the man watching you, eying you… was he confused, wondering how the little kidnapped girl was playing nurse to her capture… but he wouldn’t understand. You weren’t sure you could explain it yourself… but this was the position you were in, and you were doing what you could…

“What are you doing?” He grumbles, taking a small bite.

“I’m helping you”

“Why”

Great question. “Because you help me”

“I hurt you” another bite.

You were taken aback by that, absolutely… he was right, he did… “But you can also be so, so good to me.”

He wouldn’t look at you. “I don’t deserve you” 

You sigh, just a little bit… deserve wouldn’t be the word… but you wouldn’t say he didn’t deserve you… he was good to you, wasn’t he? He fed you, brought you nice things, little treats, he treated you good in bed… maybe he deserved you? He did everything right… how you got here didn’t really matter, and he was right, months ago, this was better than the strange men that mouth raped you and beat you senseless… he took you away from all that, he made a better life for you… in a way, he saved you.

“You do deserve me, Joel.” You kiss his forehead, hair stuck to it with sweat from the food poisoning. “I’m gonna check on Tommy, then I’ll be back to nurse you back to health, okay?”

Joel smiled at that. “Okay, little one”

A groggy Tommy looked at you and the man, then flopped his head back down on his pillow. “I see you met Lorenzo”

So that was his name. “Yeah, when he finally decided to bring me food.”

Tommy groans. “I told you to feed her, not bring her here”

Getting on the bed, you brush Tommy’s long hair away from his face. “It’s fine, I saw Joel, he’s okay with it as long as he watches me.”

Tommy couldn’t even open his eyes. “I feel awful, honey. Fucking awful. Never eating chicken again”

You can’t help but laugh a bit as he groaned on about how much he ‘odia pollo’ as you coax him into eating a bit of toast.

You spend the day helping the Millers feel better, whipping their faces with a cool clothes, feeding them bites they could eat, cleaning up the bowls they puked in, all while Lorenzo trailed around you, no doubt in charge of making sure you didn’t run away… you couldn’t help but admit you like this, you liked taking care of them, even if you couldn’t be as affectionate with Tommy as you wanted to. The other men, it seems, were all out sick, leaving just you and Lorenzo, and of course, like everything, it was a deliberate move… There were no coincidences.

Of all the things you expected to see as you rounded the corner back to the kitchen after having left Tommy’s side, your brother was not one of them.

“Zach.” He was alive, Joel didn’t kill him… but how had Tommy not known- oh. Tommy knew. He had to have, as did Joel. They would have begun collecting from your dad again, they had no know...

He rushed over to you, taking you in his loving arms that held you so many times before, whispering your name. “Thank god you’re okay”

You blink, brain still trying to catch up. “Wha- what are you doing here?”

Zach begins to pull you away, towards the door. “I’m rescuing you, we’re leaving”

Leaving? To go where? No doubt he had a plan, but he had no idea, no idea what happened, what things were like now, how bad they had been but it had gotten so, so much better. You stop. “Zach wait!” You whisper harshly, and he turns around at you, confused.

“I have somewhere to go, I got a plan, it’s okay, everything will be fine, I promise” 

You believed he believed it… but there were 1000 things in your head right now. First, if you leave and Joel finds you… he might actually kill you, but the things he would do to you if he didn’t were much worse. Secondly, “He’ll kill you, Zach.”

“He won’t catch-”

“He won’t let me go! He won’t drop it! He will hunt me down as long as it takes and skin you alive like the last man!” 

You could see the fear in his eyes as he hushed you, grabbing your arm. “Shut up, or he’ll kill us both! Just, god, just trust me. No one will notice until morning, we’ll be hours ahead.”

You stayed firmly in place… there was the third reason you wanted to stay… the fact you’d grown comfortable here, the fact you were, despite your better judgment, falling in love with both of the men here and- wait, where was Lorenzo? “I can’t, Zach. You don’t know what he’s capable of”

Rolling his eyes like only a brother would, he tugged you. “Of course I-”

You pull down your pants just enough on the side, revealing the brand. “He did this the last time I tried to leave, fucked me on the table in front of all the other men, then left me there for them to all rape!” You didn’t tell him that Tommy had saved you, that Tommy had tucked you in and how tenderly Joel had treated you the next day, how both had bandaged you up, cared for you, even though you had been so bad. “It’s calmed down, he doesn’t hurt me, I have more freedom… I don’t want to throw this away”

Zach was panged, desperate, eyes watering as he tried to take you away from what you knew he thought of as your hell, but was truly where you had felt most at home since your mothers death. “I won’t let him hurt you again, I’ll protect you.”

“Like you protected me against dad?” It came out fast than you’d expected, no chance to block it… it wasn’t fair, you couldn’t and didn’t blame Zach for that but it was true. Joel saved you, cared for you, Joel killed men that hurt you… Joel wasn’t who you needed to be protected from, Joel was the one who protected you. You yank your hand away from your crying brother. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, I don’t blame you… but I’m staying”

He opened his mouth to argue, but all that came out was a desperate 'please'. You shake your head. You belonged with the Millers now. “You change your mind, you find a way to escape, I’ll be at the ranch, and I swear to god I will keep you safe this time.”

Now you were crying too as you went to hug him. “Thank you, Zach” Alone in the kitchen, you back up against the fridge, sink down, and cry, cry, cry… keep crying until Lorenzo appeared in the doorway

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?”

 Of course. Of course you didn’t avoid the shitshow. “Okay so you saw that. You gonna tell Joel, rank up, get whatever it is you want.” You sniffle as he leans against the doorway, crossing his arms. 

“No, I already got my payment for this shitshow“ You look up at him, wet and puffy eyes telling him to go on. “He paid me to give everyone food poisoning so you guys could leave, and you fucking wasted it. No skin off my back, but Jesus. You know, pre-outbreak, we had a word for girls like you, who stayed with men who beat them”

“Joel doesn’t-”

“You wanna know what that word is?”

You sigh. “Wha-”

“Dumb bitches”

Lorenzo was pissing you the fuck off, but there was something else that was pushing your repressed anger up… You stand, shoving Lorenzo aside and storm down the hall to Tommy’s room, bursting in.

He smiled lazily up at you as you close the door. “Hey honey, the tea helped-”

“You fucking knew” Pointing dramatically at his sick figure on the bed, you watch the confusion on his face. “What? What did I know?”

“That my brother is alive, asshole!”

As he slowly realizes whats happening, he forces himself to sit up, despite the dizziness and nausea, his hand open palmed and out towards you. “Okay, just relax, tell me what happ-”

You were angrier that perhaps you had a right to be, feeling betrayed and hurt by the man you had trusted, however foolishly. “Don’t use your ‘Calm down Joel’ voice on me! You knew my brother was alive and you didn’t tell me!”

He almost argues. He almost says no, no I didn’t know, this is news to me too… but you’ve already figured it out. “If you knew he was alive, you’d try to leave again, and you’d get caught, and God knows what he’ll do to you if you run away” his eyes were pleading with you to understand, but he was not asking for forgiveness… you knew he’d do it again.

You step closer. “How many times did you hold me while I cried, missing him, wanting him-”

“That’s just it!” He stands now, towering over you, but you know him better than to think it’s a threat, so you don’t back away and simply look up at him, glaring. “You wanted to be with him, and I couldn’t let that happen”

“So you kept me away from my family, because you’d miss me?”

“No it’s because you’d be dead!”

You shake your head, not quite believing his motivations… “I don’t think so. I think you want to stay because you just want me here so you can play knight in shining armor”

Wide-eyed and hurt, he looks down at you. “No, that’s not it-”

In your anger, you shove him; it doesn’t go very far considering his sturdy stance and strong shoulders, but the action caused what you wanted it to. It hurt his feelings. “Fuck you, Tommy”

Tommy put his hands on your shoulders, not backing down despite the wave of nausea threatening him. “Honey, I swear to you, I’m just trying to help, all I wanted to do this whole time was help you.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you couldn’t pull away from his touch yet; you never could. “Fuck. You!”

Frustration boiled over before the vomit did. “What is the big deal! Joel knew too!” At that, he gently pushed you back as he dropped to his knees, violently throwing up in his trash can, his whole body wracked into heaves. He did the hard part for you; you weren't sure if you were strong enough to disengage his touch.

You watch him, wanting so badly to kneel by his side, to rub his back and keep his hair out of the puke as you had done all day today… but you couldn’t. You need to have something, something, for your anger to hold onto, even if it was Tommy, even if it was just for a night. “You are the one I was supposed to trust!” You scream, not caring who heard you. “I was supposed to be able to believe in you, but you held me as I screamed, and cried and you didn’t tell me! Fuck! You!” Your face was soaked as you screamed, screamed at Tommy for every rape, every violation, every beating and branding that he had only every tried to save you from, and took it out on him for one small thing that he actually did. Because he was Tommy, because he was supposed to be different. 

And because he was Tommy, he let you. 

You slammed the door when you left. 

Lorenzo was in the hall, watching you with crossed arms as you left Tommy for Joel’s room, muttering again about you being a dumb bitch, but you don't care.

Joel’s room was dark; he didn’t open his eyes, and for a moment you thought he was asleep and began to retreat away when he spoke. 

“Come on in, little one”

You slink through the door, closing it behind you. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

He opened his eyes at that. Today was the first day you had even seen his room, did he even want you in it? You watched him consider, before opening up his blanket for you. With a smile, you crawl in, and he tightly wraps you up in the blanket and his arms where you were growing more and more comfortable.

“Everything okay? I heard yell’n. Couldn’t tell if I was dream’n or not.” He asked, sleepily, nestling his face into your neck.

You considered the options… best to not lie completely. Safe and secure in Joel, despite the chaos of today, you began to relax in him. “Yeah, Tommy just pissed me off, that's all” 

You could feel Joel smile against your skin.

****************

Not nearly as high drama as the last few by next week we're back!!!

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[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 30: The Warning

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M

* Warnings: language

* Word count: 4,965ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all.

Author's note: Oh shit y’all, things are getting serious. It really feels like we’re seeing Stella unfold a little bit and step into a new role. At least I feel like she’s grown quite a bit! I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well!

Stella woke up to the sound of quiet movements in the bunkhouse. She turned over from facing the wall to see who moseyed about. She glanced at her phone to see that it was about 5:30. She reached over and snatched her glasses off the little table she had next to her bunk. The lights were off, except for the little one over top of the sink. She could see from the silhouette that it was Kayce.

She took a few moments to really observe him. He came across lighter, but still weighed down. It would take time for everything to ease. It was heavy, and definitely couldn't be painless to carry. Stella wished with every fiber of her being that she could take that away from Kayce. It hurt her to see him more withdrawn than usual. Even with everything that had happened between them. Silently she got up and padded her way over to the kitchen. She would pretend everything was normal, even if it was just in this moment.

“Mornin’, cowboy.” She murmured. She came up behind him and placed her hand in between his shoulders and rubbed softly. He turned to look at her, both stuck in their sleepy daze. She wished they could get past the avoidance stage and stay in this fuzzy warm feeling. She peered up at him with sleepy doe eyes and asked softly. “Make me a cup of coffee, please?” It was her offer of putting things aside for the time being. She leaned her head against his shoulder for a second before she wandered off. She didn’t want to be awake yet, especially after yesterday’s shenanigans.

He acknowledged her and got started on the coffee. Stella walked off and went to the bathroom. She wanted to grab a quick shower and brush her teeth before all the other men decided to take over the communal space.

Kayce kept track of her movement as she weaved her way through the house to the bathroom. There was an easy smile on his face the longer he looked at her. There was just something comforting about the exchange. Almost like someone was saying everything was going to be okay. Lloyd cleared his throat as he stepped into the spot Stella had been and gave Kayce a sharp look of warning. He had watched the entire interaction. He fixed his gaze back on the coffee, as Lloyd walked over to grab a mug.

“The man who wins her heart will be one lucky son of a bitch.” Lloyd prompted.

Kayce looked over at him and chuckled. “Yeah, he sure will, Lloyd. He sure will.” He peeked out the window to watch the sun slowly lighting up the ranch. His eyebrows furrowed at the thought of someone else gaining her affection and how it made him feel. It was like that one time Charlie Samuels had asked her out. Charlie and Kayce were seniors and she was a sophomore.

“He what?!” Kayce jumped up off the couch in his dad’s living room.

“Yeah, he asked me out! Can you believe it? Someone actually asked me out!” Stella practically jumped up and down with excitement.

Kayce paced back and forth. He tried to think of some way he could stop this from happening. “No no no. You are not going out with Charlie Samuels, Stella. Never in a million years!”

“What? Why?” Stella watched him pace.

“Because he’s not a good guy. I can promise you that.”

Stella hopped up. “Oh come on! You’ve said that about every dude who’s barely breathed in my direction Kayce!”

“If I find out you do go out with him?”

“What? What are you gonna do?”

Kayce stormed off to formulate a plan. Charlie was notorious for the notches in his bed post that he loved and left. Kayce wasn’t about to let Stella become one of them.

Jake hollered from behind him and startled him back to the present. “Hey everyone, Kayce’s makin’ coffee! Time to get up!”

Stella’s yell was muffled from the bathroom, “that first mug is mine! I already called dibs!” She raced out to the kitchen just as Kayce pulled the mug away from the commotion. He safely handed it to her and she smiled at him in thanks. He watched as she wandered away to go back to the bathroom. Everyone tried to get some of the dark liquid energy before they had to wait for another pot.

Kayce wandered outside to head to the barn. He spotted his dad in the aisle getting his horse Red ready. “What’s goin’ on? Is there a problem?”

John sighed at the silence being broken. “Are there problems?” He chuckled. “Everywhere I turn, son.”

“So where are you headed?”

“You know the only time I’m solely focused on the present, is on this horse. Just need a long ride to remind myself of what we’re fightin’ for.”

“Want some company?”

“Well, you have a few problems that need fixing first, I’m afraid.”

“Well ain’t that the thing about problems, dad? No matter how long you’re gone, they’ll be right here when you get back.”

“Grab a horse.”

“Okay, but Monica is dropping Tate off here later to spend some time with us. So I gotta be back for that.”

“You’ll be back. I’ll wait for you out here.”

“You don’t gotta wait on me. I’ll catch up.”

“You think, do ya?”

“Just tell me what direction you’re headed.”

John laughed and rubbed his nose slyly showing his youngest where he was going and walked off. Kayce laughed and knew he’d find his dad easily.

Kayce made his way back to the bunkhouse from the barn with Tank ready to go. Stella walked out the door. “Oh hey.” She took in Tank being ready. “Whatcha doin’?”

“I’m gonna go ride with my dad for a bit.”

Stella smiled at that. It had been a long time since she’d heard him actively trying to bond with his dad. “That’s good, Kace.”

“Before I left, I was actually hoping to run into you.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Oh really? What for?” Still on the outs, she would never have expected to be sought out.

“Yeah, Monica is dropping off Tate in a little while, and I’m gonna try to be back in time, but if I’m not I just need someone to sit with him until I get back.”

Stella crossed her arms and her feet at the ankles. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“I can have Rip look after him,” Kayce suggested.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t have anything to do today.” She gave him a small smile. “You go have fun.”

“Thank you, Stell.” Kayce climbed up into his saddle

The father and son galloped along the pastures. They were transported back to a simpler time. Back to when they didn’t have as many worries as they did now. Kayce was a kid and free to run wild. John was only concerned about what pasture he was moving the herd to this week.

They came to a stop in front of one of the many fences the property had. They slowly dismounted and went to lean and gaze out over the pasture in front of them. John looked around and chuckled.

Kayce joked, “come here often?”

“Every chance I get.” John sobered at the thought of his wife. “It’s been 20 years,” he frowned, “no. 21. 21 years and it feels like yesterday. I still feel her, smell her. Been half a man without her. It's not an excuse. I was just a better father when she was with me. I hope you never know what that feels like, son.”

“I already know what that feels like.”

“How did getting Stella’s stuff go? Were you followed?”

Kayce sighed and looked down. “It went fine, but we were followed by a silver sedan. She also thought someone had been in her house.”

“You don’t think there was?”

“If she says there was, I believe her. Out of all of us, she’s probably the most scary observant.”

“Sounds like someone else I know.” John smirked at him amused. If there was anyone he knew would notice the little things, it was his son or his best friend. He looked at Kayce, who appeared to be holding something back. “There’s more, isn’t there?”

Kayce felt the note in his pocket. The thought of what it said made his stomach turn. “I found this on her porch.” He held out the note for his dad.

John reached out to take the note. “Sweetheart, you weren’t home when we stopped by. Shame we missed you. You and your employer will remember exactly who the fuck I am by the time we’re done, Miss Daniels.” He read out loud.

Kayce cleared his throat. “Now that she’s told us about Malcolm stopping by and pissing him off, I’m almost certain it was him. Or his brother.”

“Well she’s safe here. So we’ll get this fixed. Soon.”

Through the kitchen window of the bunkhouse, Stella spotted Monica’s Nissan pull up. The woman and her son climbed out of the car. Stella took a deep breath to prepare for seeing Monica since everything happened.

Cautiously, Stella exited the house and made her way closer to Kayce’s wife. “Hey Monica,” Stella greeted.

The dark haired woman whipped her head to look at who called out to her. Monica hadn’t been ready for this. She sighed. “Tate, why don’t you go find Rip?”

“Okay!” The little boy ran off.

“Hey Stella.”

“How are you?” Stella asked timidly.

“Fine. Day by day. Where’s Kayce?”

“He went out riding with his dad earlier. He asked me to watch after Tate until he got back if he wasn’t back on time.” Stella put her hands in her back pockets. “Is that okay? If not, I’m sure Rip will do just fine.”

“It’s fine.” Monica watched Stella’s shoulders drop back in shock. “Just as long as you understand I’m always going to be around because of our son.”

“I wouldn't expect any less.” Stella frowned. “Wait, what’re you getting at?”

“I’m sure you and Kayce are moving on together.” Monica assumed.

Stella scoffed. “Actually quite the opposite. The last few days have been the most I’ve talked to him at one time in a few weeks. But regardless I understand your point, and again I wouldn’t expect any less.”

“Do you know about when they’ll be back?”

Stella shrugged. “Not really. He didn’t say and I didn’t ask.”

“Okay well let Kayce know I’ll talk to him about pick up and everything later on then. Please?”

“Of course.”

“And keep my boy safe.”

“If he’s in my presence? Always.”

Monica smiled sorrowfully at her. “Text me or call if you guys need anything.” She went to find her son to give him a hug. Stella turned on her heel to go inside and grab some water bottles. It would give Monica time to leave and herself time to calm her nerves.

She walked back from the bunkhouse with water for Tate, Rip and herself. When she came up behind them, she watched Rip gently explain colt breaking to Kayce’s son. A gentle smile appeared on her face. It was sweet to see the other side of Rip that most people never saw. “You tryin’ to teach him how to put me out of a job?”

Rip chuckled and answered Tate’s question first. “Well, I want to get all the shit out of his system, so I can get on him.” He glanced at Stella with a smile. “And no, just teaching him tricks of the trade.”

“Hey! You owe me a dollar!”

“I ain't paying you a fuckin' dollar.” Rip laughed.

“Rip!” Stella scolded him. She held out his water bottle for him.

Tate took his water from her and asked Rip, “so you don't go ass over teakettle?”

“Tate Dutton!” Her maternal voice came out.

Rip snorted. “Yeah, that's right. Here, here, here, here, here... Here. See that, Tate? That's him submitting.”

Stella rolled her eyes at the way Rip explained the horse’s body language to Tate. “It’s not submission, it’s trust. Now I see why you don’t train them.” She laughed at Rip’s playful glare. She looked at Tate. “No matter how much we train them, they can still overpower us if something pushes them to. We train to hopefully avoid having that happen so we can get work done, but animal instinct will win every time.”

“What does that mean?” Tate asked.

“Well that means he's ready to go to work. Hold on. Go nice and easy.” Rip held the horse still. “You can pet his face now.” Rip gave Tate permission. “There you go. Right up... there you go. That's a good job. All right, what do you say? Should we get another one?”

“Yeah!”

“Go get the gate for me.” Rip requested and Tate’s little legs flew to go to the gate. Stella smiled fondly at Rip and Kayce’s son bonding. Her face dropped as Kayce and John trotted up along the fence as Rip walked through the gate.

Rip joked to John and Kayce, “you can add babysitting to my list of talents.”

“Gotta say,” Kayce dismounted, “I didn't see that one coming.”

“Me neither.” They shared a chuckle.

Tate stepped forward, but John spoke, interrupting the 9 year old’s stride. “We need to talk.” That sounded important.

Rip nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Do you need me too, sir?” John didn’t have a chance to answer Stella because Tate made his presence front and center.

“I need to talk to you first, Grandpa. It's very serious.” His little face scrunched in a frown.

“All right.” John replied.

“Do I need to be part of this conversation?” Kayce asked.

Tate roasted his father like a marshmallow over a campfire. “You ain't got any money. Gotta be him.” All the adults laughed at the youngster’s brutal honesty.

“This should be good. Come on.” John grabbed his grandson’s shoulder and led him off away from everyone.

Kayce glanced at Stella, still unsure of how lightly he should tread. She stared back at him not knowing what to say. Kayce said to both her and Rip, “thanks for watching him.”

“It’s no problem, Kace.” She gave him a small smile.

“He's a smart kid. You can see it in his eyes.” Rip encouraged her best friend.

“Got that from his mother.”

“Yeah, kind of figured.” Rip laughed.

Stella sobered when she remembered Monica’s message to Kayce. “Speaking of his mother,” Stella cleared her throat, “she said she wanted to talk to you when you got back about the details for pick up and stuff. Might wanna talk to her soon.”

“I’m going to see her for a little bit after here anyhow.” Both men gauged Stella’s demeanor at the mention of the sensitive subject.

“Whatever floats your goat,” she said dismissively. She would rather avoid the topic all together.

From behind them, they heard Tate yelling for his dad. “Daddy! Daddy! You gotta train my horse!”

“I’m gonna go get started on chores Rip.” Stella turned on her boot heel and made herself scarce.

Both men watched her walk away. When she was far enough out of hearing distance, Rip turned to Kayce. “Still bumpy, huh?”

“Even after I talked to her about it.”

“You hurt her, Kayce. I’m surprised she’s talking to you at all.” Rip headed further into the barn.

Kayce got Tate settled in his truck. He looked back to his son. “Hang on tight for a minute. I gotta go find Aunt Stella.” He shut the door to go hunt for her.

Stella led another gelding out of the barn. He was another bay gelding named Kodiak. Kodi for short. He fought against her over the lip of the doorway. “It’s okay, buddy.” She stepped over the lip of the door and looked back at him. “C’mon Kodi, it’s not scary I promise.” The gelding took a moment to contemplate how he was going to go about getting through the doorway. He watched Stella and carefully lifted his front hoof and set it down when he realized it wasn’t anything dangerous. He bunny hopped the rest of the way and evened his gait out when he was away from the offensive doorway.

She huffed out a laugh at his antics. She clicked her tongue at him to walk on. “C’mom Kodi, let’s get to work.” Kodi and Stella trailed slowly to the pen. Walking around the corner, they almost ran Kayce over. Kodi chuffed in annoyance. Stella’s brows pulled together. “What’s up? I would have thought you left by now.”

“Is everything okay?” He asked. Stella felt the shyness in his question.

Her frown deepened. “You mean from yesterday? I’m still skeeved out, but I’ll be fine. Why?”

Kayce shook his head. “No, not that.” He was walking on eggshells and that irked her.

“Then what do you mean?” Kodi touched her elbow with his nose. She wrapped her arm under his jaw and pet the side of his face softly. The silence between them hung in the air.

“You know what I mean.”

Stella’s fingers pressed into Kodi’s large cheek and her lips pulled into a thin line. It was partially his refusal to say the words out loud that annoyed her the most. “Oh. That.” She sighed. “No, Kayce. I’m not. That shit really fuckin’ hurt. I know you didn’t do it on purpose. I could have stopped it, should have stopped it, before it got that far. But neither of us did those things. So here we are.”

“Stella, I’m—,” he tried to apologize again, but she interrupted him.

“I get it, you’re sorry. I’m sorry too.” Kodi bumped her toward him. She sideyed the horse. “I’m thankful you helped me and my brother out yesterday, but I still need time. Okay?”

Kayce crossed his arms and stared at the ground. “Yeah.” He breathed in and finally looked back at her. “I got Tate waitin’ in the truck.”

“Yeah you go. I’ll be fine workin’ with Kodi here.” She watched as he backtracked to his truck.

Stella had been in the training pen for a good while now, running another one of the new horses since she finished up with Kodi. She spotted John as he sprinted down the hill toward the barn. He yelled out for Rip waving his jacket through the air.

“Sir, what’s wrong?” She called out.

“Jamie!” John shot past her. In the corner of her eye she detected a shape that looked like Rip. He dropped the wheelbarrow of hay he had, ready to take off.

Stella gauged the new mare. Her disposition had been very peaceful the whole time. Stella knew she was taking a chance, but she had a hunch she would be just fine. “Alright Ember girl, time to show me whatcha got.” Stella placed her foot in the stirrup and eyed the mare carefully. She stepped up, placing her full weight on the saddle. Ember moved forward slightly, but steadied herself with a huff.

Stella swung her leg over and leaned her hips forward and Ember started walking. Ryan walked by the pen at the right time. “Ry, open the gate. I'm gonna go with them.” He rolled his eyes at being halted but reached for the latch on the gate.

Stella gave Ember a swift tap with her heels and she took off. As they breezed by her brother she shouted over her shoulder, “thank you!” The horse and rider made it to the end of the barn just as John and Rip shot out of the building.

“What’s going on?” She hollered from behind them.

“Jamie left the house with a gun.” Rip looked at her as she caught up to him. “Did you see him at all? Did he grab a horse?”

Stella’s brows knitted together. She didn’t like the implication of what Rip meant. “No to either of those!” She shouted over the hoof beats. “He can’t be that far on foot! I’ll go high.” She leaned left and Ember responded by heading toward the hill. She thought it would give her a good vantage point to see wide.

When she reached the top, she looked back down to make sure the men were still heading in the same direction. When she saw they matched her stride for stride, she pushed Ember further along the ridgeline. Her eyes darted around for any sign of Jamie. Ember bobbed and weaved in between the trees along the ridge. She spotted orange on the ground. It was Jamie. She came to a stop a good distance away and glanced down at the men that had galloped along down below. She whistled multiple times as loud as she could. It caught John’s ear and his head whipped her way.

He met her at the top of the hill and she pointed to his son about 100 yards from them. “Go down to Rip. Wait with him.”

“Yessir.” She turned the mare around and they made their way down the hill.

Rip adjusted in his saddle while he watched her trot up to him. “New mare good to go?”

“I’d say she’s pretty damn good. Been on her a couple times before now, but this was the first time out of the safety of the pen.” Rip smiled at her briefly. “So was this about to be what I think it was?”

Rip nodded soberly.

“Hellfire.” Stella sighed.

“Speaking of hellfire, you wanna tell me what leaving a man to hang was all about?”

“Is now the time for that?”

“It’s the perfect time. We got nothin’ to do but wait.”

She chewed the inside of her bottom lip thinking back to what she told Jimmy the other week. “You heard John. He wants me to help Kayce. To protect this place. Like you do for him.”

“I don’t think he meant that far, Stella. That’s my job.”

“Yeah and one day it’ll be mine. This place is my home just as much as it is yours. I’m one of the ghosts that’ll haunt this place forever. Just like you.” His ice blue eyes met her red toned brown. They both knew that was the truth. She’d shown up one day with her brother, and eventually her soul decided that she was never going away. In an odd way, Rip was almost proud of her. Even with everything that had happened to her lately, she was still going to grit her teeth and muddle through somehow.

She continued. “That asshat threatened our home. We can’t be soft defending it. Because other dickheads like him and the Beck brothers will come along and try to steam roll us out of here.” She sighed. “And if that’s a sacrifice I have to make, to be barbaric to ensure this place and the people that reside here stay safe? Then so be it.”

John walked Jamie down the hill with his arm locked around his son’s. Both of them looked distraught, but in different ways. “He’s moving to the bunkhouse for a little while.”

The group made it back to the big house and John gave out directions. “Stella, you go with Jamie.” He thought her presence might be more soothing than Rip’s. “Rip you wait down here.” He looked at his son. “You just get a few things. You can come back and get them as needed.”

Stella prodded the lawyer gently. “C’mon Jame.” The nickname from when they were younger slipped out. “Let’s get you packed up.”

On the top floor they came to his bedroom door. Stella leaned her shoulder against it, crossing her arms and ankles. She watched the eldest sibling quietly. Stella had been able to determine that he wasn’t running for office any longer. It appeared he had moved back into his bedroom. It was clear he was in shambles. The rug got pulled out from underneath him, and by the looks of it, it was rather quick.

“I’m sorry Jame. The bunkhouse will set you right. It’ll be a nice change of pace.” Down the stairs behind her she could hear muffled voices talking. It sounded like Beth had gotten home.

“This is silly, Stella.” Jamie shoved clothes into a duffel bag resentfully.

“Is it? It’s a good reminder of what you’re fighting for. What we’re all fighting for.” He looked at her. “And really, are we all that bad?” She smirked at him.

He would have chuckled if he had it in him. “No. I suppose not.”

“That’s the Jamie I remember.” She smiled softly at him. Yes, he annoyed her to high hell, but she never would have wanted him to end his life. “And anyway, you’ll get to hang out with Kayce more. I think that’ll be good for you.” He zipped up the bag when there was no more room to stuff things in it. Stella straightened away from the door. “Alright, buckaroo. Let’s go.”

At the bottom of the stairs, John stood patiently waiting. He and Stella shared a look. “Rip, you take him on down to the bunkhouse. I have to talk to the women for a minute.”

“Yessir.” Rip nodded.

Beth perched herself on the couch in the living room. “How’s it hangin’ homewrecker?”

Stella removed her glasses and set them on a nearby table. She rubbed her face, dragging her hands several times up and down. “Shut the fuck up, Beth. It’s done and over with, okay? So drop it.” She picked her glasses back up and placed them on her face.

Beth could tell Stella wasn’t in the mood. She wanted to see how far she could push her. “Is it really? You’re still here and his wife isn’t.”

Stella glared at John still being present for this, but decided to lay everything out. Beth had left her no choice. “I would still be here regardless, you dickhead. The most I’ve talked to your brother in the last few weeks was yesterday and today. I had no sway in whatever decision they came to. It’s not my business. I did, however, make a promise to him,” she motioned to John, “that I would help Kayce protect this place from the back end. No matter what happened between us. So suck it up buttercup. I’m here to stay. Whether you like it or not.”

John moved to sit on a chair opposite of his daughter. He stared at both women before him. It was time to intervene. “I need you two to put whatever bullshit this is aside and tell me everything about your visits with Malcom Beck and his brother.”

Stella cocked a hip and crossed her arms. “I already told you everything last night, John. He came nosing around, I pissed him off, and I’m sure he had someone tailing me.”

Beth glanced at Stella feeling the anger bubble beneath the surface at her audacity of getting in between her brother’s marriage. Stella disregarded the heated glare from Beth. She knew the woman was furious with her for multiple reasons, but now wasn’t the time. If Malcom wasn’t poking around where he didn’t belong, they wouldn’t even be in the same room right now. Stella cautiously asked her, “he visited you too?”

“He metaphorically whipped it out to compare size.”

“He did that to me the other day.”

“Where?”

“At my house. The morning after one of his guards punched me.” Stella pointed to her face. The cut from the man’s ring had scabbed and evolved into a thin pink scar along the apple of her cheek. The bruise that surrounded it was ugly and yellow, but faded with each passing day.

Beth looked to her father. “He’s digging. What for?”

Stella offered her opinion. She’d had time to think about it. “Weak spots. He’s trying to figure out exactly how to fuck us. How to fuck us right out of this place.”

“I see you’ve pulled your head out of your ass.” Beth chided her. “Now you’re talking like a rancher.”

“Beth,” John warned her. He didn’t need this conversation going south.

“Okay fine.” She huffed. “What’re we gonna do about it?”

“Well Rip and the guys are already looking into it.” John sat back and observed Stella taking charge. The way she stood and the look on her face reminded him of Rip. “If you tell him about your run in, things might get done a little faster though,” Stella suggested.

“I don’t need someone to hold my hand through it, Stella.”

“I know you don’t.” Stella rolled her eyes with a huff. “What I’m saying is Rip would bend the laws of physics or break them entirely to make sure you’re safe. So it would keep the fire lit.”

Beth eyed Stella carefully. There was something different about the woman in front of her. It was unclear what had evolved in her. If Beth wasn’t so pissed at her, she might even be proud.

Stella leaned back against the wall and brought her arms across her chest again. “Listen, you can either tell him or not. I can’t make you do anything. All I know is before I came to stay here for a little while, someone was tailing me, and they’d been in my house when I wasn’t there.” Her eyes looked far away as she relived the moment. As mad as she was at the only Dutton daughter, she wanted to give her a warning. “Just, if you have to go out, be careful please. Guys like Malcolm can be all talk, but sometimes,” her thousand yard stare snapped back to the present, “we’re wrong.”

Beth was taken back by her observation. “Men like Malcolm like to be feared. He’s gonna try.”

“Which is exactly my point. Be careful.” Stella reasserted. The women stared each other down. John wasn’t sure if it was a battle of dominance or some form of quiet acceptance. She looked at John. “Is it okay if I go now sir?”

“Yeah you’ve helped more than you know. See you tomorrow.”

[hazbinswappedau]

Chapter One

✩░▒▓▆▅▃▂▁𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ▁▂▃▅▆▓▒░✩

*+:｡.｡Hazbin Hotel Swap Au｡.｡:+*

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

"Charlie! I know.. I havent spent time with you- but please.. Y-your all I have left!" Lucifer stammered, reaching for Charlie as she stepped through the portal. Before it closed up, Charlie looked over her shoulder to laugh at her father- no. Lucifer. "Your pathetic, honestly. I should be ashamed to call you my father. Sinners cant be redeemed, Lucifer."

╭─〔❨✧✧❩〕─╮

Would you like to continue?

"Charlie! I know.. I havent spent time with you- but please.. Y-your all I have left!" Lucifer stammered, reaching for Charlie as she stepped through the portal. Before it closed up, Charlie looked over her shoulder to laugh at her father- no. Lucifer. "Your pathetic, honestly. I should be ashamed to call you my father. Sinners cant be redeemed, Lucifer." It pierced his heart like a knife. She spat out the words condescendingly, before continuing with, "Mom was right about you." Walking away, Lucifer watched as his own daughter left him like he was nothing. His own that he raised, the one he loved so dearly, the one he spent, and gave his life for.. Just to leave him. Lucifer felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, as his hands grabbed at the floor, the one where Charlie once stood. How he wished he never gave her that opportunity to meet with heaven, how he wished they never gave her the offer to stay in heaven. Lucifer broke out in sobs, clutching his heart as he fell to the ground. It hurt. He had nothing left. Noth-

"Luci? Where the fuck- what the hell are you doing now?" A cracked voice interrupt Lucifers trip down memory lane. Adam, former angel, now fallen angel muttered as he walked into Lucifers room. Yesterday was the extermination, and Lucifer gets reminded of Charlie everytime, the nightmare never ending and repeating like a mantra.. "Uhm, nothing. Im fine. Hows the hotel going?" Lucifer asked, remembering how he found Adam all bloody and scarred after an extermination. Lucifer had no clue what led Adam to fall.. And Adam would never say, but he's glad at least one person approves of his dreams that were crushed one too many times.

Lucifer never knew why Adam chose to support his dreams, but ever since Adam fell from heaven he was acting... Strange? Adam was still injured with his wings cut off and a broken arm. He wore a red suit which was all he could find at the moment to wear, in contrast to Charlie who mostly wore the color blue most of the time despite being in hell, she made it work.

"Oh. The hotel. Well... I guess they still need a little getting used to seeing more of me." Adam answered Lucifer while glancing around his room. The very room Charlie had spoke her final and harsh good-bye to Lucifer.

"It could be worse." Lucifer chuckled.

"You know Vox? Yeah the tall creepy radio demon guy?"

"What of him?"

"He visited the hotel a few hours ago."

"WHAT." Lucifer said in surprise, his voice raising.

"Yeah...." Adam nervously chuckled.

Adam fidgeted around a little before speaking once again.

"He... He... Asked to help me manage the hotel... And I y'know accepted his offer."

Lucifer was speechless. THE Radio demon was interested in the hotel? It seemed so unbelievable that he almost didn't believe Adam.

Lucifer took in a deep breath, his eyes clenched shut before he suddenly yelled out, "Why would you trust the radio demon?! Let alone a random sinner known for causing havoc!" Pacing around the room, his hands in his hair as he tugged on it in frustration. Adam scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, and gulped. "I mean, I never knew. Sorry dickbuddy."

Lucifer suddenly paused in his frantic panicking and stared at him with wide eyes. "Did you just call me- Nevermind.." He sighed, flopping down onto his bed face first and let out an exasperated groan. How could Adam be so naive to accept the RADIO DEMONS OFFER? When Adam least expects it, the sinner would probably turn against him! Lucifer starts breathing in a pattern, trying to calm himself as he straightens his clothes. Adam walked over to Lucifer, patting his back with a smile. "Cheer up dickbuddy! Come on, isnt this shit all about redemption? Give that fucker a chance!" Adam exclaimed, before taking an infuriatingly long sip of his drink that he was holding. Sighing, Lucifer sat up and rubbed his eyes as he gently shoved Adam aside. "Lets just get to business. This place looks shitty enough.."

As Lucifer walked into the Lobby, he was surprised to see Vox, the radio demon pop up right infront of him.

"Oh golly, is that the king of hell I see?" Vox tapped Lucifers head with his microphone, cackling very loudly. "And if it isnt it his majesty himself! Trying to fix his own mistakes, what a hilarious sight to see!"

Lucifer only rolled his eyes, glaring at the freakishly tall demon in front of him. "Your criticism isn't needed right now, demon. What do you want?"

"And your suspecting I want something? What do you take me for? Oh no dear, I'm just a business man helping out a poor angel in need.. Or should I say, fallens?" Vox started walking around the hotel, observing its fine details before suddenly fixing some small trinkets here and there, putting them to his taste. Lucifer, watching Vox do this, was obviously not pleased.

He stormed over to vox and pushed him. "Dont touch my rubber ducks, asshole." Lucifer hissed, putting the trinkets back to their original spot. Adam was watching the whole ordeal, feeling uncomfortable in this situation. After a bit of contemplating, Adam decided to step in and break them apart. "Anyway, sooo Vox.. Robo dick, yeah? Your tryna help me and Dickbuddy or somethin' right? So, whats your plan?" Adam said, laughing and elbowing Vox as he said 'Robo dick'. Vox narrowed his eyes at Adam and moved away, but still kept his professional composure.

"...Please do refrain from talking about my genitals when we are discussing business. Nonetheless, yes! I do have a plan!" As Vox said this, he snapped his fingers and the tension in the air seems to grow more mysterious.. Suddenly, an extremely tall moth appeared, holding a sex toy. Vox rolled his eyes, smacking the object out of the moths hand as he spoke. "Meet Valentino! He'll be taking over the convenience store!"

"Convenience store? We dont even ha-" Vox shushed Lucifer by putting a finger to his lips, and with a flick of his wrist, a tiny shop appeared inside of the hotel. It wasnt anything big, just sold some candy.. Snacks.. Drinks.. Condoms- Which is completely irrelevant. Lucifer was surely a wee bit amazed but didnt admit it, as he didnt want to feed Vox's already big enough ego. Of course Lucifer knew about demons like him! Greedy and selfish, only caring about themselves and their rise to fame.. He just wondered how Adam thinks this piece of trash is able to be redeemed. Sure, he loves the idea of redeeming sinners but him?! The radio demon?!

"Holy shit, robo dic- I mean Vox! That was fucking sick!" Adam praised, clapping his hands. Adam had a gleam of excitement, and he thought maybe, just maybe after accepting Vox's offer.. Everything will be working out! Which.. may be the case, or the exact opposite, and everything may start going down hill from here. But things couldn't get possibly worse... Right?

"I know, I am quite impressive.. Dare I say, even more impressive than his majesty?"

"Quit taunting me." Lucifer sighed and sat down on a nearby chair, crossing his legs. Hes already sick of the robotic demon.

Vox chuckled at the irritated Lucifer. To Vox, everything was all fun and games and he rarely took anything seriously. After scanning and examining the room once again, he noticed the dusty books that were sitting on the shelf. he swiped his finger on the dust of the shelf and with a disgusted face and wiped it on his shirt. "Ew, well looks like this hotel is in need of... A little cleaning session." He sighed.

With another snap of his fingers a girl with pigtails that almost reached the floor appeared. "Vox? What is it now?" The lady asked in an annoyed tone of voice, obviously and very clearly not wanting to be here. "Now now, don't speak to me like that." Vox replied giving the girl a warning glare. The girl groaned, looking around the room with distaste. Eyeing the entire place up and down, the girl walked around the lobby, beginning to judge every detail she doesnt approve of. "What is this? The 1900's? This hotel needs an honest big glow up." The lady trotted forward with strides and confidence as she started with her work, she went from rearranging things to ripping down the wallpaper, which left Adam and Lucifer absolutely flabbergasted.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING???" Adam yelled, leaning down to be face to face with Vox. Vox may be tall, but Adams taller. "Meet Velvette! She can be the hotel cleaner and renovator!" Vox said, almost ignoring the protests that Adam was yelling out to him. Before any further arguements could be made, the door slammed open to reveal the hotels very first guest, Molly.

You've reached the end of this chapter. Thanks for reading

*+:｡.｡★ written by mods Xyra and Shello

[luxuriq]

A Flower Frozen, His » Ch. 3 | Sub-Zero (Bi-Han)

[ 18+, minors DNI ; dom/sub, degradation, rough, third pov ]

Summary: An elite brothel, The Red Orchid, has sent six girls to their newest client: the Lin Kuei, an old warrior clan. But the brothel is just a front for a highly secretive group of spies, and their objective might be more than simply offering entertainment for the warriors: their target none other than the Grandmaster himself. How will the girls - especially their leader, codenamed Iris - navigate their dangerous mission, and what will happen if they get caught?

→ Reader character is named for clarity reasons, but it's still a reader character, not an OC.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | ...

Ch. 3 words: 2083

A/N: A preview of what is to come ... (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑)

Chapter 3

This was a test; Iris could tell that much. The Grandmaster was giving them one chance to prove themselves. If they did, then getting into his chambers – getting to know him would become a lot easier.

All the girls were already booked for the day, but Grandmaster’s wishes were a priority. Iris chose Peony to do the job. She was a gentle looking young woman, with a pretty adventurous side. If anyone was going to be able to handle Bi-Han, it was going to be her.

“Just do whatever he says. He likes to show off his power,” Iris was giving Peony some last-minute instructions. “And definitely call him Grandmaster. I think he likes it.”

They were in the middle of getting ready for a visit to Grandmaster’s chambers: a touch of colour on the eyelids, a subtle stain of lipstick, a drop of the sweetest perfume on the wrists and ankles.

Peony giggled, “Sounds like fun. I’ll do my best, Boss.”

“Thank you,” Iris gave her an encouraging smile and moved to do Peony’s hair. “Don’t think too much about Ice Blue. Just focus on giving him the best time of his life.”

“I always aim for that,” Peony said with a proud smile.

Iris deftly braided Peony’s hair – a simple hairstyle with none of their usual accessories. There was a reason for it. Iris didn’t want Bi-Han to crush them when he grabbed Peony’s hair and manhandled her in whatever way he wanted. Just the thought of what had happened yesterday made her cheeks warm up.

They were ready just on time. Since Peony didn’t know where to go, Iris led the way to the Grandmaster’s chambers. The thought of seeing him again … Iris took a deep breath. She needed to focus.

She knocked on the door. They did not have to wait long before the door swung open, revealing an imposing figure of the Lin Kuei’s Grandmaster. He was wearing his usual blue robes, the sleeveless top showing off his impressive muscular arms when he crossed them over his chest.

“Grandmaster,” Iris said and both her and Peony bowed low.

“Whore handler,” Bi-Han mocked the way she greeted him.

“This is Peony. She will be the one entertaining you today,” Iris straightened back up, a polite smile playing on her lips despite Bi-Han’s previous jab.

“I’m at your service, Grandmaster,” Peony added softly.

Bi-Han regarded them for a moment and then took a step to the side. He beckoned Peony to come in.

“Very well then, I will leave you in Peony’s capable hands …” she trailed off as he cocked an eyebrow. “I mean, I will leave Peony in your capable hands. Please enjoy yourself.”

She was about to turn on her heel and scurry away, but his commanding voice made her stop in her tracks.

“Where do you think you’re going, whore handler?”

“B-Back to my chambers,” she stuttered.

“Have I dismissed you yet?” his voice was ice cold, but she felt warm all over.

“No … Grandmaster.”

“You leave only after I tell you to. Now get inside,” he commanded.

A million thoughts swirled in her mind as she slowly took a step past Bi-Han and into a rather cozy sitting area slash office. He did not strike her as a man who liked to share. Was he going to make Peony watch? Or was he going to take one and then immediately the other? The questions going through her head mixed with flashes of yesterday’s events. At the memory of his cold touch, her heart skipped a beat.

Peony was standing in the middle of the room near a low coffee table and a few plush chairs, watching Iris enter with interest. The Red Orchid girls were usually entertaining solo, but doing a group activity wasn’t unheard of. The handler usually wasn’t involved, however.

Iris stopped a few steps into the room, not knowing where exactly the Grandmaster wanted her. He followed close behind her, swiftly passing her when she stopped, and walked over to Peony. The doors closed behind him.

“Get on your knees,” Bi-Han ordered the girl.

Peony immediately dropped down onto her knees, keeping eye-contact with the Grandmaster through her eyelashes. Iris only stared at the scene unfolding in front of her.

Bi-Han took another step closer to Peony. She would only need to lean in a little and her face would’ve been pressed against his crotch. The Grandmaster fiddled with his pants for a moment before pulling out his flaccid cock.

Peony’s face lit up with excitement, while Iris swallowed a lump forming in her throat.

“Show your Mistress how to properly suck a dick, whore,” Bi-Han smirked at the girl in front of him, completely ignoring Iris.

He grabbed Peony’s hair and yanked her head back. She eagerly parted her lips and stuck out her tongue. Bi-Han started pumping his cock. As it grew harder, he pressed the tip against Peony’s tongue. She did not attempt to lick it or lean forward to take it in her mouth – not that she could even do the latter, with Bi-Han’s iron grip in her hair, holding her in place.

Iris shifted her weight from one foot to another. She could still remember the slightly salty taste of the Grandmaster’s dick from yesterday, and her mouth watered a little. She wondered if she’ll get her turn today.

Bi-Han didn’t give Peony any kind of a warning. As soon as his dick grew to its full size, he thrust his hips forward, the head gliding up Peony’s tongue and ramming into her mouth. Iris watched, wide-eyed, as more than half of Bi-Han’s cock disappeared in Peony’s mouth, without any signs of discomfort on the latter’s part.

He held his hips there, the hand in Peony’s hair keeping her from backing away. Peony’s eyes started watering a little, her cheeks reddening.

Iris bit her lip. Watching them was mesmerizing.

Bi-Han finally pulled Peony off his dick, saliva spilling down her chin. She gasped for air, breathing deeply. He did not let go off her hair.

“Good,” he said cooly.

One word. Barely a praise. Almost spoken like an insult. Iris wished he had said it to her.

“Thank you, Grandmaster,” Peony squeaked, her mouth hanging open again, asking for more.

Bi-Han was quick to oblige. He pushed his dick into Peony’s mouth just as ruthlessly as before, immediately setting a punishing pace. A couple of tears formed in the corner of Peony’s eyes, but not once did she ask him to stop or slow down. The obscene noises coming from her wet mouth made Iris shift in her spot by the door. She could feel her own arousal pooling between her legs.

The Grandmaster didn’t spare Iris a glance, focusing solely on Peony. She was taking him almost to the base of his cock, saliva generously drooling down her chin. He was repeatedly hitting the back of her throat, but she obediently took it all.

“At least you’re not completely useless,” he growled. “Touch yourself.”

Peony didn’t have to be told twice. Her hand immediately moved between her legs and started rubbing quick, tight circles.

Iris desperately wanted to do the same. The tension in her lower stomach was coiling – the itch between her legs demanding attention. However, she remained still, frozen, standing by the door, only an observer.

Bi-Han’s thrusts were growing more erratic by the second. His left hand remained in Peony’s hair through it all, while the other moved to hold her head up by the chin. He grunted deeply.

A wave of arousal hit Iris at the sound of his pleasure.

Bi-Han’s hips stilled; his cock pushed in all the way. Iris could see him closing his eyes for several seconds as he reached his climax, spilling deep into Peony’s throat. Another low grunt escaped his lips as he watched Peony through half-lidded eyes. With his fingers on her chin, he could feel every time she swallowed his essence, drinking everything he had given her.

He pulled out, a string of saliva mixed with his cum connecting him to Peony’s lips. Peony made a show of licking her lips and then opened her mouth, proudly showing him that she had swallowed everything.

“What do you say, whore?” Bi-Han growled.

“Thank you, Grandmaster,” Peony beamed.

Iris felt ashamed of watching another person climax like that, without being involved. She felt ashamed for being aroused out of her mind, probably more than she’d ever been before; ashamed that she was an intruder and that she enjoyed it. But the feeling of shame only furthered her arousal – and that was both shameful and arousing. It was a vicious cycle. She was going mad with desire.

Bi-Han didn’t give Peony any time to rest. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her onto her feet. Iris’ heart skipped a beat in anticipation.

The Grandmaster brought Peony to the side of the room and bent her over a desk. He pulled up the skirt of her dress and folded it over her back. Peony turned her head back and watched over her shoulder as he gave his girthy cock a few quick pumps. She was biting her lower lip, eyes sparkling in excitement.

Iris’ knees started feeling a bit wobbly. She could not believe what she was seeing. This was a new territory for her as Bi-Han only fucked her mouth yesterday.

Bi-Han grabbed Peony’s hip as he guided his cock to her glistening pussy. He pressed the tip against her swollen lower lips, slowly applying pressure until he sank into her. A long moan spilled from Peony’s lips as he split her walls, growing louder the deeper he reached.

When he was fully sheathed, he paused momentarily. Peony was still watching him over her shoulder, her eyes half closed, lips parted in a decadent expression. With a quick movement, Bi-Han grabbed the back of her head and pushed her down, her cheek now pressed against the desk. Then he lifted one of her legs, showing Iris just how greedily Peony’s pussy was swallowing up his cock.

Peony’s face was hidden by her arm. In that moment, she was just an unnamed girl, an object of pleasure, anyone. In that moment, she could’ve been Iris, pierced by Grandmaster’s thick cock, held in place by his tight grip, made only to give him pleasure in whatever way he desired. Iris squeezed her thighs together, the scene of her in Peony’s place in her mind. Her whole body was burning up. She needed something, she needed him, she needed him so bad.

Similarly to before, Bi-Han started moving with a ruthless pace. He kept Peony’s leg up, his fingers digging into her thigh enough to leave marks, and Iris could see just how deep he was thrusting. Peony was a mewling mess in a matter of seconds. The noises in the room were outright obscene.

Bi-Han kept thrusting at his punishing pace without faltering for what felt like … Iris completely lost track of time. It could’ve been seconds or hours. The scene in front of her was mesmerizing: the muscles in his arms tensing as he kept his grip on Peony’s body; a bead of sweat forming on his temples; another strand of hair falling onto his forehead.

“Your whore is safe,” he groaned, “right, whore handler?”

He looked up and for the first time since entering this room, they’ve locked eyes. Dark. Cold. Scorching. Iris was not ready for the sheer intensity of his gaze. Hunger, desire, authority – consumed her all at once, she was spiralling, she was lost. His devouring gaze almost made her orgasm on the spot.

“She … is,” she heard herself saying.

Did he really give her a choice about where he should finish? Was this a test? What did this answer mean for her?

The perfect rhythm of Bi-Han’s thrusts stuttered. He let go off Peony’s legs and grabbed her hips with both hands instead, holding her close. He gritted his teeth. Iris could not take it anymore.

She hasn’t been given permission to leave yet, but she was willing to risk the Grandmaster’s wrath. Just before the doors closed behind her, she could hear Bi-Han’s deep grunt and she tried not to think about his thick cum filling up Peony’s insides.

Her panties were completely soaked as she practically ran down the hallway, away from the Grandmaster’s chambers. It was going to be a long, lonely night for her.

❀

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[zombie-rott]

"Self-care isn't selfish, Papa."

Synopsis:

Papa Copia needs to understand the meaning of 'self-care' after a hard tour. Fortunately, the ghouls are there to help.

Notes:

A stressed-out Papa, an unwillingness to ask for help and some Ghoulies (special mention to Mountain).

Just some fluffy stuff inspired by a discord conversation.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Copia felt the familiar twinges of a headache starting behind his eyes. Not surprising considering how long he’d been slaving over receipts, accident reports and all the outstanding paperwork from their previous tour. 

They’d been on the road for three, maybe four months, and as much as the Papa had tried, it was impossible to keep everything organised. Their usual assistant had suddenly taken ill during the beginning stretch of the tour and Copia, not wanting to cause a fuss, had reassured the clergy that he was able to handle the paperwork alongside performing. How hard could it possibly be?

Very bloody hard it turns out.

Nothing was labelled, nor organised, and reporting Dew’s accidents alone was proving overwhelming. Copia had never noticed just how much the small ghoul injured himself. It was a wonder he still had all his limbs intact!

“Porca troja!” Copia growled as he came across yet another tattered mystery receipt. 

They’d only returned home the morning prior and Copia felt like he’d had no time to decompress from what was an exhilarating tour. He'd met so many people, signed countless autographs and sang to thousands, if not millions, of dedicated followers. And afterwards, as always, he and his crew had enjoyed each other’s company on both buses and at various parties. 

But Copia was nothing if not an ambivert. Yes, he enjoyed the attention and fed off the limelight, but not so much as the Papa before him. Copia needed time to decompress and to be with himself, and only himself. He needed time to read without noise or disruptions. Or to take a long, warm bath with his favourite movie or the soft instrumentals of Apocalyptica. 

But he hadn’t so much as had time to sleep alone, never mind find time to relax. He’d always awoke to one or more ghouls curled up beside him, their soft purrs filling the air. It was nice, he had to admit, but personal space was a virtue. 

“Argh!” Copia barked, slamming his elbows to the table and dropping his head into his hands. 

Why hadn’t he just requested another assistant? What had possessed him to take on paperwork alongside his own job as Papa, head of all? Surely this was all beyond him now at his level? 

This was impossible. 

“Papa?” 

Copia didn’t need to look up to recognise the soothing voice of the earth ghoul, Mountain. Easily the tallest and most lumbering of the pack, yet he held the softest heart. 

“Si?” He snapped in response. Regret immediately coiled in his gut at his tone of voice. He hadn’t meant to sound so irritated, especially not with the gentle ghoul. 

“Sorry Papa, but your door was open. I didn’t mean to intrude.” 

“No, no mi dispiace.” Copia sighed, looking toward the tall figure,” I’m just exhausted looking at all this mierda.”

Mountain approached Copia’s desk, his dark eyebrows knitting together in worry and his pointed ears pushed downwards. 

“W-would a break help?” 

A break? Copia hadn’t dared think about taking a break. He’d been at this since late yesterday afternoon and had barely found the time to sleep let alone stop for a cup of tea. 

He forced a soluem smile towards the Ghoul. 

“Mountain, mio amigo, I wish I could step away for a while. But there’s too much left to do and sister needs these by Friday.” 

Mountain checked his smart watch, a gift from one of the roadies to help him keep an eye on the clock. While eager to please, the ghoul had a bad habit of getting lost in his own thoughts and losing track of time. 

“It’s Tuesday, Papa.” The ghoul angled the small screen so Copia could see TUE written in bold letters, “Surely you can step away from these for a little while? You’ve been stuck at your desk for nearly eight hours.” 

Had it really been that long? No wonder his head was beginning to throb. 

Copia sighed. 

“I wish I could, Mountain. But I’m scared if I leave these now, they’ll never get done.” 

Mountain craned round to take a look at the piles upon piles of paper thrown across Papa’s desk. It was nothing he or his fellow ghouls could help with, that much was true, but there were several people within the ministry that could.

“If I might be so bold, Papa, why haven’t you asked one of the Siblings for help? There are plenty equip to do so.” Sister Trechia, the junior accountant, for one. Or even Brother Adam, the ministries senior librarian. They’d both spent time on the road during Terzo’s reign and had handled a far worse array of forsaken receipts. 

Copia frowned and let out a huff of breath. He opened and closed his mouth several times as if searching for a response but failing to find one. Finally he shrugged his shoulders.

“I-I just didn’t want to bother any one.” 

“But that’s what we’re all here for, Papa. To help each other.”

“Ah, si. Si. I know.” Copia responded, pinching his fingers to the bridge of his nose, “I just - I am not good at asking for help.” 

“But you will tomorrow.” Mountain responded. It wasn’t a question, but a statement. 

"I mi-"

"You will, C. Or you'll burn out again."

Copia allowed his mind to wander back to a time when he'd been at his absolute worst. It was after their first tour when he wasn't prepared for the sheer volume of people, places and emotions that came along with being the head of Ghost. He'd spent days if not weeks in his room, his head filled with ominous and dark thoughts, and his stomach churning with anxiety.

It was one of the darkest periods in his life and, yet, his ghouls had been there through it all.

"Non mio amigo. I don't want that to happen again." He admitted to not only himself but his dear friend.

"Then you'll ask Sister Trechia for her help and this will all be done with before you know it." Mountain smiled.

“Si, my ghoul.” Copia allowed a gentle smile to spread across his lips as he looked back towards the gentle giant, “Tomorrow I will approach her to help me organise the chaos we have caused.” 

Mountain clapped his hands together in approval. 

“So now you can join us for some much-needed relaxation.” 

Copia cocked his eyebrow. 

“This had better not be another one of your parties. You know that isn’t exactly my idea of relaxing.” 

“No, no! I promise you’ll enjoy this. Come on!” Mountain took Copia by the arm and pulled him from his chair. 

“Ah - but wait -I haven’t finished -”

“I can wait until tomorrow, Papa. Sister and you will get things finished in no time. But for now, you need to unwind!” 

Copia gave in and allowed the ghoul to guide him towards the pack's quarters. While they were growing further from his office, thoughts of his paperwork still plagued his mind. 

However not for much longer. 

Copia felt his soul light up when, as they entered the quarters, several pair of eyes stared back at him gleefully.  A chorus of cheerful greetings’ rang throughout the room as Swiss jumped up to meet them. 

“You’ve been locked up in your office since we got home, C. You gotta’ give yourself some downtime.” Swiss chimed. 

There was a flurry of fur and the whip of many tails as the ghouls moved to make room for Copia on the corner couch. The Papa barely had time to protest before his shoes were forcefully removed from his feet and a blanket was wrapped around him. But it was the hot mug of tea forced into his hands that finally made Copia relax back against the cushions. 

“Ghouls, you’re all too good to me.” He said cheerfully. 

“You always look after us, Papa. This is the least we can do.” Dew responded. He settled himself beside Copia, his tail pushing in behind the Papa’s back in search of warmth. 

“What do you want to watch? You get to pick this time!” Cumulus chirped. 

“Anything, mio amigos?”

Several heads nodded in response. 

“Silence of The Lambs it is!” Copia laughed. 

There were a few groans followed by shushing from Mountain and Swiss. Copia chuckled. They had said anything, after all, and Silence of The Lambs was a classic!

“Don’t listen to them, Papa. This is your night.” Mountain settled beside Copia and smiled a warm, toothy grin,” Relax and forget about everything beyond this room.”

“I miei demoni. You know just what I need and when I need it.” 

Silence fell across the room when the movie began to play. As he caught wind of the familiar purrs of the ghouls surrounding him, Copia couldn’t help but think how loved he was. 

[moonsandstar-s]

i’m sorry guys i can’t contain myself bumbleby has me in tears not even 48 hours later and i just have to gush about all this

Anyways… looking back on this has me awestruck, honestly. This is a story we’ve been patiently and impatiently attending to for years, a mesh of writing and art and voices and storytelling and animation cobbled together from the hands of many and the initial vision of just one. That seems pretty incredible to me. 

My first girlfriend introduced me to this show when I was 14. Just barely a high school freshman. It was 2015, and Volume 3 hadn’t aired yet. Monty had just passed away and a lot of you, in the FNDM, didn’t know what lay ahead for RWBY. I joined after the uncertainty, before everything that followed. What we had was Burning the Candle, a couple cast jokes, and a few teasing hints that were eventually dismissed by the doubtful. I contented myself with how unlikely a lesbian couple was to ever occur onscreen, and made do with my own imagination. I loved the rich imagery of Blake and Yang’s partnership, the allusions of it, everything it could be. I mourned that it would likely never come to pass and vowed to explore it in my own time, with my own plan.

In the years that followed, I wrote over a million words (I did tally this from my Ao3 account!) and grew enormously along the way. It was this that made me decide to major in English & creative writing at a time I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go to college (I will be graduating next month with a magna cum laude in my field, which I can’t even fathom!) I made friends whom I still talk to, to this day. I devoured absolutely gorgeous pieces of fiction that tended and grew the love from the seed we had seen in the canon show into a garden of extraordinary variety (special shoutout @lightsaroundyourvanity, @thirteenyasmin, @thecousinsdangereux and @pugoata)! I pored over breathtaking works of fan art (looking at you @frankielucky, @corvophobia and @frishbi). I saw some damn good analysis from so many people (hey @almea, @canonbumbleby, & @bumblebyaf!) I watched Blake and Yang throughout the FNDM’s shock at the end of V3, the infighting throughout V4 as it seemed our high hopes would culminate in nothing, our bated breath at their reunion as V5 ended, to our euphoria in V6, and now. We watched, doubting and wondering and celebrating, as incrementally, Blake and Yang found their way back together first in presence, then in spirit. All the while, wondering, will-they-or-won’t-they? 

I hoped so much, and doubted just as often, as many of you did, too. Prior to ever watching RWBY, I’d realized I was gay, but hadn’t ever expected to see someone like me represented in something I loved - at least not in a way where it wasn’t their whole identity rather than just another part, like loving the color blue or preferring coffee to tea. When we watched Lexa get shot, when we saw show after show with lesbian couples result in cancellation, when we became merely a moment in a finale or a passing scene, easily dismissed, it became so easy to let discouragement be the loudest voice of all. 

But sometimes persistence pays off. Sometimes you do get to see the things you’ve loved for so long become more than wishful thinking. Sometimes you get days like yesterday. Where some of us cried, most of us laughed, and we all collectively lost our fucking minds in a way that felt like being a little kid again where everything just feels right.

I guess what I want to say is this: eight years passed. I am not the same person I was when I fell in love with the love that hadn’t even grown enough to be named as such between Blake and Yang. But that girl does live inside of me still, and yesterday, I got to celebrate with her just as freely as she did with me. Over the moon for all of this. Thank you CRWBY, thank you Eddy, Kerry, Arryn, Barbara, Yssa, Miles, and every other animator, concept artist, scriptwriter, every person who had even the slightest hand in making this possible. What a time to be alive! 

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary436

12/3-4/24

tuesday - wednesday

writing this as my gf prepares for work.

another short one today. i did some more drawing which was nice, i think i basically just need the hands to be done, and then it'll be over... then i can go onto another attempt at getting better at all this, which is exciting for me.

i watched 2 movies today, one was occult, which was by koji shiraishi, who directed noroi as well. i wanted to see some j-horror stuff because i've been so into siren lately. here's a couple shots of funny things i saw in it:

i like how this was filmed at the time when there was a big ad for ugly betty up in shibuya. i've seen that before on some images i found on flickr which feels really funny, to see that and be like, oh wow, it's from then!!

equally entertaining is that psp monster hunter ad.

there were some shots that were actually really nice, the whole ending bit is also insane, maybe i could have grabbed those but these are funny to me in i guess a very narrow way.

i quite liked the film itself, it's not so scary really, but at a certain point you get a sinking feeling, and it feels so sudden, a couple times you feel very bad, you see people broken up over things, the film generally feels focused on a particular kind of poverty in japan and what happens to the people who live on the outside of the norm out there, who are headed towards homelessness and are unstable, it's a movie that wishes for kindness for people like that, as well as taking the cult-terrorist fears of the general public and using this man to examine that/prod at why people end up there. like noroi though, the text isn't so interesting as is its uncanny atmosphere, the way the world is rendered through the camera and all the 'supernatural' sightings of leeches flying through the sky. i really like that stuff, i like how cheap and strange it looks, it makes it more carnivalesque which ultimately extends / articulates the film's goals a little better, a miserable laugh at the end of poverty, a mania of a certain kind and a curiosity driven to standing on the side of grave injury, getting swept up in a strange brotherhood with a strange man.

that's one thing i thought about, eno, when he and shiraishi drop the formalities, and they bond in that way, and around when that happens eno becoming extremely agitated towards the only woman at the dinner table with them, and how she dies at the end. i keep thinking about that, and what i wrote about yesterday a bit, more that it's interesting that the film makes a point of this man being oddly misogynistic and pathetic, like he wants her but doesn't know how to be charming or nice even so he goes to attack her. excluded from being normal himself, he attacks her for being 'weird' and quiet, this makes me think of nekojiru's work, where she'd go to lengths to express how outsiders aren't somehow some kind of cure or solely good force in relation to the broader scope of society, rather they absorb all the same neuroses and use them maybe moreso to protect themselves, to never be in the wrong despite generally being seen as such (all of those judgments though, take place in a subconscious way).

anyhow, i quite liked that film.

the other film i watched i didn't like so much, videophobia, i picked it because it also seemed j-horror-y and it sorta was, it was also a movie that i picked because it seemed intensely related to what i was writing about last night here, it's about a woman who discovers revenge porn of herself on xvideos and then, as time goes on, loses it bit by bit and gets plastic surgery to become a new person so she doesn't have to live with the fear of being found out. it's an effort to meditate on how we have this massive industry and, i don't know if this is true, but in the film a woman says that global usage of 'that site' which one she means idk (i would imagine this is the figure of the one big one (if it's a real figure at all)), sits at around something like 5 million hours yearly or something? maybe a jump up to billion? i don't know. but something obscene like that. that was the best part of the film, when the woman says that to her, just this kind of cosmic terror at a figure that great, that it measures to an impossible amount of years, that it feels hopeless in the face of that basically. but idk, the rest of the film is just kind of flat. i dunno. i can't get as excited about the rest of it as i can about that little bit lodged in it. the film at points doesn't come off as leering or creepy or whatever, it just feels odd in how it handles her suffering. i don't know, i just don't know. and the music felt so wrong at points. but it felt interesting too, to see that idea meditated on, this woman really was sacrificed to this managed desire.

but now it's almost 7 am, i am super duper tired,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[winterfelbae]

I stumbled upon a random LP almost 10 years ago. At the time I was deeply depressed and had barely any friends. From there I started watching Minecraft and GTA and fell more and more in love with AH the more I watched. And then I discovered RT as a whole. RT Podcast, Immersion, Million Dollars, but, On the Spot, Free Play and many more projects. Suddenly I had something to watch and comfort me every single week if not day. I watched the RT Podcast live for years, watched every LP as soon as I could so I could have something to laugh about every day. I watched some of these people grow into amazing human beings. If I think about how people like Gavin and Michael were at the beginning to now I get so emotional.

Watching Geoff overcome his alcohol addiction, seing AH members and others building families, grow beyond the company, seeing the love those silly people that you watch have for each other used to and still does make me so happy. I used to have Minecraft & 7 Days to die LPS going in the background all the time because their voices were comforting to me. There literally wasn't a single day where I didn't consume RT's content in some shape or form. And then there was the RH situation. Suddenly everything I watched felt tainted by his influence. Everything that used to comfort me suddenly didn't anymore. And for a while I tried to keep watching AH because other than RH I admire everyone so, so much. But with Geoff taking a backseat, Gavin not appearing as much, Fiona & Jeremy leaving I just lost interest. And with my other favorite shows gone (or changed) like RT Podcast, On the Spot, Free Play etc. I stopped watching RT comepletely.

But with the news of Rooster teeth shutting down I'm suddenly reminded of all the good times that were had. During the times I watched AH I was probably the most creative when it comes to making gifs and such. I watched a random Coup LP yesterday and I laughed my ass of. And then I watched the stream they did earlier today and I cried my fucking eyes out. If you knew me, you would know that I do not cry that often and definitely not over a span of an hour. Seeing people that I admire and respect so much like Barbara, Trevor, Geoff, Jack, Jessica, Kerry, Chris and others tear up talking about how much they all love each other and gonna miss spending every day together really just reminded me why I fell in love with the company. Because in the days before Full Screen and Warner Bros etc. Rooster teeth never really felt like a company to me, it felt like a family. And even if I haven't watched any of the recent stuff they made I still feel so upset for them. And I honestly just wanna say thank you to everyone who ever worked at RT for making so much (mostly) free content for us to consume and love. I wish every single one of you all the the best and hope to be able to support everyone the best I can in the future.

PS. I wanna give a special thanks to everyone behind the scenes who kept all the shows I watched going. Production, Broacast etc.. PPS. While I do admire everyone at the company I wanna especially thank all of the AH members for making me laugh so many fucking times. I also wanna thank all the founders for creating this beautiful company in the first place. I could name so many more people but this post is long enough as it is. Thank you for reading.

[b0ard1ngsch00l]

(boss crush anon) thanks :D i'll start with context, im 28 and hes 48..funnily enough i had a dream recently where i was back in high school and he was my teacher LOL, thought that was relevant. ive had this crush for a few months now and have been writing about every little interaction i have with him. one of your posts that rly spoke to me was "i want to mean something to him", bc girl no joke ive written that exact sentiment about him before. every time i talk to him feels special, i get a legit high thinking about seeing him every day. hes so painfully handsome and nice to me, sometimes when he sees me his whole face just lights up and he gives me this HUGE smile. hes also the only person i work with who calls me by a shortened version of my name <3 one of my other coworkers even noticed that he did that and i was like 0///0 yeah he has a nickname for me so what?

there was an after-work happy hour that i went to once, i brought a friend and asked her to watch how he acted around me bc he can be hard for me to read sometimes, i cant see his behavior objectively when i have so much wishful thinking going on lol. she told me later that when we walked in, he made a beeline straight for me right away, and seemed sorta shy when talking to me. she asked how i was doing at my job (i was new at the time) and he said something like "shes awesome! every day that shes here is a great day!" and my face mustve been beet red..he kept showing up in our conversations with other people and standing near me, something ive noticed he does a lot in group situations. just recently, we had an premiere with lots of people and since i was on the clock i was standing by myself in the back of the room, watching in case someone needed anything. fr he comes over and stands RIGHT next to me. there was no one else around that area, he chose to stand right beside me while we watched the premiere.

he was out of the office for a whole week once (work related reasons) and i angsted so hard..not seeing him on weekends is bad enough but this was like 10 days and i was going feral. we followed each other on instagram after that happy hour and during that week he was gone he randomly liked one of my posts late at night. i have to wonder if he was missing me too..the next day he came by my work area to ask "whats new?", like he just wanted to catch up after being away which i thought was sweet. yesterday he was teasing me about hiding some of our work halloween decorations in my car to scare me (cute lol), today he was showing me how to tape a package with a confusing tape dispenser and our hands brushed multiple times while handing the tape back and forth, and god only knows whatll happen tomorrow!!

hes so wonderful and i rly want to know more about him, i want to be around him constantly and any time i get with him is instant dopamine. hes intoxicating and i feel selfish wishing he'd break a million rules for me (boss/employee relations, 20 year age gap, and yeah you guessed it hes also married) but i just cant help myself......im not planning on making a move bc i love my job too much to risk getting fired for that, but if HE did you know id reciprocate in an instant. but im glad to just know him even if things remain the same as they are forever, as much as i wish theyd escalate. THANK YOU for letting me get this all out of my system, theres even more i could say but this is long enough lol. have an amazing day, G <333333333

This was very enjoyable to read thank you! The way you both are seems sooo cute! I’m so glad you can relate to me <33 I so get you, and everything you’re feeling yk. It’s hard being obsessed with middle aged men who deep down you know you can’t have😭 but also there’s no other feeling like it and it’s kinda the best! Any time you need to rant about him I’d love to hear!💕

[fictional-love-is-my-life]

Happy 4th of July if you celebrate it! 🎆 can I get tfp and bay Optimus, Megatron, and Bumblebee's reaction to their s/o setting off a firework and its a personalized picture of the planet cybertron with the autobot or decepticon symbol on it? Sort of their way of showing them their home and saying hang in there the war will end soon? 🥰

I know the 4th was yesterday. But happy belated 4th!

TFP Optimus:

He had wondered why his S/O was asking so much about Cybertron. He was always happy to talk about it, but he did have a small suspicion something else was going on.

He watches the firework shoot up into the sky, expecting a pretty show, but never expecting that.

His mouth falls open when he sees Cybertron high up into the sky, the Autobot insignia along with it. It was only there for a few seconds, but it was long enough.

He's filled with love for his planet, and for his S/O, so thankful to them for giving him a small glimpse of his lost home.

He had always loved his S/O's optimism and hope that their war would end. He pulled his S/O close. He held them in his arms while he looked up into the sky, imaging he could still see his planet. He wished he could show his S/O the real Cybertron, but he did feel quite happy to have this moment with them. He felt closer to them.

"Thank you." He whispers. He's never had someone do something like this before, he feels so loved.

TFP Megatron:

He knew of fireworks and the humans use for them. But he had no interest in them. He thought it was a waste of explosive equipment.

However his S/O wanted to show him something special. He trusted them that they wouldn't waste his time, so he went with them to an open field.

He watches the firework, expecting to be disappointed. He's then greeted by his Planet, sparkling brightly above him. It had been a while since he saw his planet, and seeing the Decepticon symbol beside it. He felt proud, he felt hopeful for his cause.

He also felt lucky to have such a loyal S/O. They were with him through it all, reassuring him what he was fighting for. The war would soon be over, and he felt happy knowing his S/O was going to be by his side for it.

He wasn't one for sentimental moments, but in this moment he had to do something. He brought his S/O close, giving them a soft kiss as a thank you.

TFP Bumblebee:

His S/O brought him out, saying they had a surprise for him. He was very excited, unsure what it could be. But he knew he would love it, because it was coming from his S/O. He sat patiently in the open field and watched forward, just as his S/O had instructed.

The firework shot up into the sky, he watched it explode. His optics widened as he saw Cybertron erupting into the sky, the red Autobot symbol with it.

His spark burned happily. He was pleasantly surprised, and happy to see his old planet. He pointed up at it, beeping excitedly. Then he began to feel homesick. He wished he could put his servo out and just touch the planet. As much as he loved Earth, there were things he missed about Cybertron.

He hugged his S/O tightly, repeating thank you's and telling them how much he loved the surprise.

His S/O had recorded the firework. Bumblebee was ecstatic to find that out, he took the recording and would play it over and over again, watching his home planet. On the way back home he told his S/O his favourite stories about Cybertron, saying how much he hoped they would be able to go back soon.

Bay Optimus:

He had seen fireworks before. They were definitely something to admire. And he liked that humans used them for special occasions, it made them feel more special.

He was expecting to just see some normal fireworks, which he would enjoy, but he wasn't expecting anything amazing.

He feels his S/O grip him slightly as their surprise firework shoots into the sky. Then he sees why. Cybertron shines brightly down at him. His Autobot symbol with it. He's in complete shock and awe. Never in a million years did he think he'd see something like that. He often thinks about his home, hoping he would be able to go back to it. But it was a far fetched hope and he was beginning to let his dream go.

This just rejuvenated his hope. His S/O knew how much he cared for his planet and for his fellow Autobots, and they just showed him they see how much he cares. And they showed him they care too. This was reminding him not to give up. He had a home out there and he needed to fight for it, because it was going to be worth it.

He wanted to see his planet whole and healthy again, just how it looked in the firework. And he could do it.

"Thank you. Sometimes I need a little reminder to get through the hard times." He caressed his S/O. He was lucky to have them by his side. Even a leader needs someone to lead him through the tough times and bring his spark back to the fight.

Bay Megatron:

He hated Earth, and didn't think anything good could come from it. So when his S/O told him they had a surprise for him, he was doubtful that he would enjoy it.

He went anyway, his expectations low. He sat and watched the night sky, watching the firework explode in the sky. He saw his home planet, sparkling with his Decepticon symbol. Then it was gone. The image stayed in his mind, he pictured it high in the sky, wishing so badly it was real. It was almost teasing him, showing him something that he couldn't have.

He was disappointed he couldn't have the real Cybertron. However, he was grateful for the attempt his S/O made. They listened to him, they listened to his stories about his planet and tried very hard to give him what he wanted.

To him that showed true loyalty, and it showed his S/O really loved him and his reason to fight.

"I enjoyed that." He stated. It was not a lie, he did. On a planet where he enjoyed nothing, that was the best thing he had seen so far, apart from his S/O of course. But he did think it was funny the humans actually had something he liked. The firework was special. He could appreciate the sentimentality his S/O was trying to give him. He stroked his S/O's back lovingly, he was thankful to them.

Bay Bumblebee:

Bumblebee loved watching fireworks. He enjoyed the colourful displays, they were pleasant to look at. He was also happy to know there can be some good things made with explosive elements.

When his S/O told him they had a special firework made he was excited. He was imaging all the colours they could have added, and was wondering if it was going to be a spiral one or a big explosive one. He couldn't wait to watch it. He fidgeted excitedly waiting for it to go off.

He watched it shoot into the sky and expected something magical. Then Cybertron appeared in the sky above him, along with the Autobot insignia. He whirred in surprise, his optics never leaving the sky. It lasted for a few seconds then fizzled away. His only gripe with fireworks was how long they lasted. He stayed staring at the sky, wanting it to come back.

It was the best firework he had ever seen, and he knew none would ever compare to it ever again. He looked to his S/O to see them smiling at him. He embraced them. His spark hummed happily, so full of love.

He missed his home, but he was happy being on Earth. It gave him amazing things he had never experienced before, like fireworks.

He felt so lucky to have an amazing S/O that gave him loving surprises. He immediately asks if they can make more. He doesn't care if it's expensive or takes forever to make. He wants to see it over and over again. Although maybe he'll add a few spirally fireworks to go along with it.

[toournextadventure]

I read this is how you lose the time war yesterday and oh my god the way that the book reminded me so much of Wednesday and birb like look at some of these quotes

“I love you. I love you. I love you. I'll write it in waves. In skies. In my heart. You'll never see, but you will know. I'lI be all the poets, I'll kill them all and take each one's place in turn, and every time love's written in all the strands it will be to you.”

“I want to be a body for you. I want to chase you, find you, I want to be eluded and teased and adored; I want to be defeated and victorious-I want you to cut me, sharpen me. I want to drink tea beside you in ten years or a thousand. Flowers grow far away on a planet they'll call Cephalus, and these flowers bloom once a century, when the living star and its black-hole binary enter conjunction. I want to fix you a bouquet of them, gathered across eight hundred thousand years, so you can draw our whole engagement in a single breath, all the ages we've shaped together.”

“I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. Listen to me. I am your echo. I would rather break the world than lose you.”

My personal favorite

“You wish you could hold me at knifepoint again. You do, still, in a way. So long as I bear these last three seeds in a hollow behind my eye, you are a blade against my back. I love the danger of it.”

Just oh my god this book and ebh have changed my Brian chemistry in a way I can’t describe it. My expectations will for ever be high because of these two story’s

Okay I am absolutely obsessed with all of these, these are SPOT ON for Birb and Wednesday. In return, I shall show you a few of MY favourite quotes that remind me of these two lil homos

They ask "do you love her to death?" I said "speak of her over my grave, and watch how she brings me back to life" - Mahmoud Darwish

The number of hours we have together is actually not to large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it - unknown (at least to me, if you know who it is please let me know)

I'm quite choked with tenderness for you, my love, it makes me a bit pathetic to love you so much - Simone de Beauvoir

Whether you come as a lover or an executioner, I am ready to receive you - Agustin Gomez-Arcos

I've got a million more but I'll have mercy and stop here ✋