#i watched it at 2x so it took around three hours

[snixx]

i may or may not have developed a massive tiny platonic crush on steve harrington:')

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 1: pre-gaming

webcomic day is a yearly celebration of the art form concocted by the screentones podcast team as a way for people to see how the sausage gets made. my webcomic "a ghost story" has been running for over 10 years, and yet i still don't think i can say i am good at making a webcomic. regardless, the comic is getting made because otherwise i become very, very sick in the head. today i would like to share with you the process of making a page of "A Ghost Story" from start to finish. either this demystifies the process or will make you think im so cool and strong for doing this 2x a week. instead of reblogging this one post until it gets very long, i will be posting individual updates that i will then compile and post on my personal website. block the tags now if you HATE comics and want them to EXPLODE.

if you have any questions, even things like "what the fuck are you even talking about" feel free to ask. i want to feel confident in what i make again and i think sometimes interrogation from an outside source is really

---

that said, let's get started. wait just kidding i want a cup of coffee first, hold on.

ok now im ready. i have a big glass of water. i have coffee. i have a headset for the parts of work that don't involve typing words. i can't type words and listen to some streamer babble in my ear at the same time, so it has to be instrumental music or nothing. i just took my meds so they should kick in after about 30 mins. i woke up late today, which is weird and annoying. but maybe i can work late instead.

first off, i need to know where i'm going beyond this one page. if i dont know where im going with something, then i usually create something that sucks that i have to deal with later. hold on my internet died, i have to reset the router. ok, anyway.

what's rattling around in my brain is that not only do i have to deal with maxine's current predicament, i am also dealing with multiple plot elements i need to wrap back around to from the previous chapter. luckily, im about to put maxine down for a nap, which means i can get back to those other elements:

i need to finish the exposition from the three ankou characters for this story arc establishing their motivations as the oppositional force in the story. the "villain" is not these three specifically, but their boss. they need to have a loose understanding of what's going on in order to communicate this to the audience. god this started turning into a huge ass paragraph so i'll just keep it short there.

we've jumped back to before jack's horrible day from the first chapter of this storyline so we have to make our way back toward that and then lapping it, which means wrapping up his various open threads like:

feeding victoria and learning something new about her

finding out alice is a very exceptional employee who is getting many awards

watching valdo call lily while interrupting her during something personal to ask her for help with maxine's situation.

jack meeting with valdo and lily the day after they first met so jack can just tell them straight up that lily has 4 sisters she doesnt know about.

help that girl with her poltergeist problem. remember that. i've had jokes for this rattling in my head for like 4 years. im going insane.

and also the fucking tilberi!!! that has a point its going somewhere!!! there's a larger menace here!!!

other things to set up the climax of this storyline. sexual tensions, hints at larger emotional problems not immediately evident to the reader

lots of moving parts. and i feel like im moving in slow motion to get to them. i can see them all weaving together in my head, its the process of putting that onto paper that's proving difficult.

ok that took an hour starting and stopping. -_- let me write the next part as i keep brainstorming on how to approach this page. taking a "rubber duck" approach to this might help. heres an image from the last page i worked on (i have a 5 page buffer rn so the site does not match the finished pages) to get us semi-situated.

also because images will help people understand what skill level we're working with here. i need to be able to communicate an idea to the audience; if the art also looks good on top of that, then that's just an added bonus. but the ability to communicate my ideas is sometimes hampered by my lack of artistic skill or comics language ineptitude. like those speech bubbles kind of fucking suck but at a certain point you have to just hit print on what you're working on in order to keep your already glacial pace.

webcomics is a tightrope act where you're also spinning 4 plates at once. the trick is to keep the audience from realizing how many actually fall or how wobbly they all are. the act sucks but technically its not a failure.

[whentherewerebicycles]

baby fussed or cried for about two hours of our three and a half hour flight 😵‍💫 then he was very happy and chatty on the hour and a half long train ride home. then he hit a wall as we were driving over to pick up the dogs and was absolutely inconsolable for about half an hour. this poor kid! it took a while to get him down for the night because he was so overwrought but he is asleep now and I am just praying he’s tired enough to sleep straight through. unfortunately on nights when he goes down overtired/wired he’s more likely to have those night terror episodes (maybe too much adrenaline or something??) so it’s also possible he will wake up in 45 min screaming hysterically. we will weather it whatever happens but GOSH I am exhausted. and I still have so much prep work to do tomorrow morning before four hours of back-to-back student meetings. ok ok I can do this. lights out by 9pm so I can wake up around 6:30. baby routine & taking care of the dogs from 6:30-8am. baby down for his nap while I edit essays in bed from 8-9:30 (focus on NF and JW I think). shower/get ready and tidy up from 9:30-10:30. then maybe he can do some kicking around and independent play on his mat from 10:30-12 (with a bottle in there somewhere) while I work a bit more (maybe watch the training video on 2x speed since that will only take part of my brain and I can do it while he’s eating). his nanny arrives at 12 and I will then have an hour to do sustained work on MN, NF. then meetings from 1-5 sigh I can do this and it means the next day will be lighter. nanny leaves at 5 and I will then take the dogs for a walk. I am not sure if I can face cooking tomorrow so I give myself permission to order takeout if needed BUT if he happens to be having a fussy evening it might be good to do a grocery run for the rest of the week. in short: my life feels absolutely insane right now and I am just back at work full time basically. but 1) admissions season is sooooooooo close to being over, 2) as much as it sucks to be working like this now I think it will make going back to work full time feel a little bit less like a shock to the system, and 3) I still have those six weeks of unused leave that I could tack onto my leave in full or in part if I end up feeling like I need more time to decompress and hang out with my kid after the season is over.

[liquid-luck-00]

When Two Coffee Addicts Unite

Part 1

@maribatmarch-2k21 Day 8: Texting

Ao3 *** Part 2

Okay so this can either be a continuation of Internet Friends or the beginning of something new. But if you want to read this as a continuation of Internet friends then you should know:

The police department is almost as bad as Damocles when dealing with powerful figures. They take the video and audio footage and simply put it in the file. Because at the time Lila still had most or in fact all of the class under her thumb, they all supported Lila’s claim that it was an accident. Lila claims that a sudden dizzy spell struck her, and she fell forwards towards Marinette. And as Mari was already on the edge of the balcony it was an accident. The fact that the file sat in the police department until well after any claim could be valid it wasn’t looked into more. Mari, her friends, and Tim did have backups of the footage, complete records for every interaction with the police, and recorded calls and interactions when dealing with the police. But as they didn’t want to involve the embassy as this would become an international affair they didn’t bother with the case.

That said the police don’t bother with the Miracle Court to avoid work. However, with the Mayor, Medical responders, and the Fire Department all aid the heroes, the police only do the bare minimum.

Marinette’s class has begun to watch Lila, but they didn’t look into her lies because except for this incident it’s just she said she said with occasional ‘injuries’ on Lila. Most of them are wary of Lila but they aren’t converted to Marinette’s side, but there is an increased tolerance between them.

~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette had just sat back at her seat after eating lunch, while the classroom was still empty. There was still half an hour left. Alix, Kim, Nino, Sabrina, and Max walked in as she sat down.

"Marinette you got the time?" Alix called out. They were on somewhat okay terms since Lila’s claims were a total 180 from the Marinette that they have known for forever.

"30 minutes left." she announced looking of her phone and in turn her missed messages.

Tim:

       Mari

       Mari

       Mari

       Nettie

       Marin

       Bean

       Bug

       Marinette

Marinette:

       What's wrong.

Tim:

       I have back to back meetings starting in 3 hrs. until 5.

       and

Marinette:

       Let me guess haven't slept.

Tim:

       Exactly

       Help me please

Marinette:

       How many reports can you send me?

Tim:

       Quite a few

Marinette:

       Send me what you can.

       Review the rest.

       Take a nap!

       And I'll be a little voice during your meeting.

Tim:

       Thanks, I owe you Bean.

Marinette:

I'II hold you to that.

Tim:

       Sent

Marinette:

       Just make sure you wake up.

Tim:

       I make no promises.

       On second thought I don't want to find out how you are mad

She made it through the 15 minutes of class because Lila was akumatized. Lila had burst into the class followed by Alya, Nino, and Adrien. She claimed Mari cornered her in the bathroom and beat her a few minutes ago, showing everyone the 'bruises' on her arms. Chloe handed something to Sabrina who walked up to Lila.

"Oh, you poor thing," Sabrina consoled, Lila only whimpered. "Here this has a salve that helps bruises." She gently took Lila's wrist and wiped a 'bruise' which disappeared instantly.

"That's amazing what is it called?" Alya commented. "I should get some for Nora."

"Make-up remover." Sabrina and Chloe spoke together.

"Besides." Alix butt in. "Marinette's been here the past half hour and hasn't left."

"What?! How do you know?" Lila cried.

"Cause we've been here the whole time with her." Sabrina commented.

Marinette for her part didn't know or hear the conversation around her.

"Marinette. Marinette. Earth to Marinette," Kim shouted.

"Present!" She jolted practically standing. "Wait," she looked around, "class hasn't started."

"What are you hyper fixated on?" Adrien asked innocently.

"Just some reports, don't think you'd like them too much Kit-Kat."

"Fair," he shrugged sitting next to her. "So how were you in two places at once?"

"I can't," her head tilted to the side confusion clear on her face.

"So, if Mari hasn't left, can't be in two places at once, and your 'bruises' came off with make-up remover. How do you explain that Lila?" Adrien around, the class slowly draining their conclusions. However, Marinette spoke up. "She lied, obviously..." she stated having gone back to the reports.

"Um you said that out loud, Cake Pop, and loud at that."

"Huh?" sure enough when she looked around some were shock still, others typed furiously into their phones.

That was when Mrs. Bustier walked in, fifteen minutes late to the class. Which was also when the bandy contained restraint ended. Lila was akumatized, school let out, and the rest of her night went smoothly.

Tim woke up, and with her help survived his meetings. Some while on patrol she would constantly mute and unmute herself. Luckily, it wasn't more than twice, and they didn't run into anyone. Chat didn’t ask questions, figured it out since she was pouring over Wayne documents earlier. Tim would call her back after the private meetings and ended around 10.

At around 11 Tim text her back.

Tim:

      Thanks Bug you saved me today.

Marinette:

      No problem Draco

      You owe me though.

Tim:

      I remember.

      Go to bed it's like midnight over there!

Marinette:

      Yeah Yeah

Tim:

      Ooh

      Congratulations 2x!

Marinette:

      What???

      Please explain.

      Tim

      Tim

      Timothy

      Timothy Drake-Wayne answer me.

      Dragon please

      Ugh fine I'll sleep.

Which is what she did when he wouldn’t answer her.

She woke up the next morning to two emails from W. E.. The first was for a collaboration between W.E. and MDC for a show featuring Wayne Tech accessories and their new climate fabrics. She immediately responded and accepted. The second was that her class was one of two to be accepted as transfer students to Gotham Academy and intern slots at WE, she forwarded that to her teacher and the school.

Marinette:

      You Gremlin

Tim:

      Like I said congrats

      Oh, I need you to give me three names.

Marinette:

      What for?

Her mind was racing at the possibilities.

Tim:

      You'll find out.

Marinette:

      What’s the other school?

Tim:

      Some Prep school in the UK.

Marinette:

      Give me a Sec.

She opened another contact and typed.

Marinette:

      Hey, did you get a spot in the Wayne/GA internship?

Mystery:

      Yes.

      Why?

Marinette:

      Tell the others we are hitting Gotham with style.

Mystery:

      Very well.

Mari then sent three names to him and smiled. This was going to be fun.

Next

~~~~~~~~~~

Permanent Taglist: @itsmeevie01 @adrestar @miraculouspenta @vixen-uchiha

[marveling-chrisevans]

Emergency Room || Chris Evans x Reader

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader / Chris Evans x You

Warnings:  Just some Cute fluffy stuff since I haven’t written in awhile 

Words Count: 1183

Summary: Date night turned into a trip to the emergency room. sorry this is short. 

Tag-List: @patzammit​​​​ @torntaltos​​​​ @smoothdogsgirl​​​​    (tag list is also open so if you want to be tagged let me know, you can reply to this or send an ask) A/N: Hey guys sorry its been awhile this was my last term of school and it killed him. So here we are me trying to get back in the swing of writing. If you have a request let this girl know. 

Sometimes date night was a series of two different thing. Sometimes it's hanging out in the house, skinny dipping, other times its lavish gala’s. Tonight it was the latter of the situations.  A Lavish gala. It was actually the second one of the weekend. The first one was to raise money for Chris’s favorite charity, Christophers Haven. The second one was was just an event. You didn’t listen when he told you the morning before. 

Chris went off to set, brining his tux with him. You met him that night at the gala. You were running late as always.  You got there and he was waiting outside for you. You walked up and gave him a kiss “I'm so sorry I'm late the Uber guy got lost”. You mumbled to him basically because you hated being late and letting him stand there and await for you. Before he could reply someone stuck there head out of the door “Chris, y/n” One of Chris’s charity friends gestured for you to come inside. You took a deep breath as he looked at you “ready to do this?” He smiled and kissed your forehead “No do we have too?” You asked him with puppy dog eyes.   He shook his head and un did his tie “thank god no, lets never do anything we don’t want to do, come on lets make a run for it” You smiled at him “running? We can really just not attend, let's do it” she smiled at him as he held out his hand and you took it as you both started jogging away from the event. You were not as coordinated as most people. At these events you were usually in heels.  You. Guys made it about a block away before you started walking again. You quickly wrapped your arms around Chris and smiled laughing a little bit “running I n heals is harder than you think” you said back to him as the whole time you were running you were just thinking one step in-front of another, it wasn’t really till you stopped running when you stopped thinking about it. You let go of your dress so it wasn’t dragging on the ground “Can we get greasy burgers then go somewhere where the lights don’t hit the city and watch the stars?” You asked wondering if you could recreate one of your favorite dates. “Stop reading my mind” he said back to you as. He flagged down a cab. You took a step back and stepped o your dress causing you to roll your ankle. You tried to laugh it off as you fell on your butt on the streets of downtown LA. Chris quickly turned around hearing you laugh. “Babe are you okay?” You nodded as you took off your heals and got up taking a step and the pain that spread across your face. As he grabbed you. To support you, “okay come on lets get you to the emergency room” he said to you lifting you up butting you into the cab and you slide over letting him get in next to you. You turned so you elevated your ankle on his lap. “We don’t have to go to the emergency room we can go home, ill be fine” You said back to him. “Babe your ankle is already 2x larger than It was when you left home. We need to m make sure its not broken” He said back to you as he touched it slightly as you winced “see you won’t even be able to walk.. we are going to just go get it checked out” he said winning the battle as. You leaned back as you grabbed your shoes and the cab pulled into the parking lot area. Chris helped you out of the back of the cab. As you basically hopped in with him “we are way too over dressed to be in the emergency room Chris” You said back to him as he got you. Wheel chair and then checked you in. Chris smiled at you “well maybe don’t be clumsy, babe.” He said as he started to fill out the paperwork asa the two of you waited in the waiting room. About three hours later they took you back for an X-ray and into a room. “Babeeeee I'm bored” you said back to Chris. Was as you sat in this bed “come here let's watch a movie” now that a you were in a room you could actually had a tv.

Chris had taken off his jacket and given too you as you were cold from the ice they put on your ankle and took o ff his tie and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his dress  shirt. “Okay lets see   what’s on here” he said as he took the tv remote and hit the movies button. You shifted so you were laying on his shoulder as he turned on a random movie that Disney has made. Hours and hours had passed. It was a ER in a major city and a sprained ankle was low on the list of things they needed to worry. about. Here you were, best dressed in the ER, Fiancé of Chris Evans falling asleep on his shoulder as the doctor came in “Sorry. This took so long, our x ray tech was called into something serious. So good news it does not require surgery. But there is a hairline fracture in the bottom part of your Tibia. So, We are going to put you. In a boot, stay off of it for the next time being and no heels.” “Well thats a good thing I don’t like to wear them in the first place” You replied back to the doctor cutting him off “and you get to where this” A nurse in with a kit to make a soft cast on your foot till. You can go see a non emergency room doctor Chris smiled “do. You know what that means?” He asked looking at you “No it does not it does not mean that” you shook your head “don’t you even think about it” you replied as the nurse started to wrap your ankle “Oh but it does” Chris smiled as he watched them wrap your ankle and get you crutches so. You could go back to the house “Christopher Robert Evans” you smiled at him as the two of you had kinda silly fights over dumb. Stuff like taking care of each other when You are sick or hurt. “You are not I'm fine its not the first time nor the last time I can fend for myself. With these metal arms” you said back two him “Plus that nurse fantasy that I have. Not like a picture it  but maybe I. Won’t rule it out. ” you said once you were back home with him He picked you up and brought you into the house and set you on the couch where dodger greeted you “carefully bubba mom’s hurt. So no running under her for awhile” He said to the puppy. 

[caermis]

❝Village of Dragon Tamers...❞ Pt 1

⌲Shin-Ah, Hak, Yona, Yoon, Kija, Jae-Ha, & Zeno X Black!Reader

⌲ Characters:

↠Shin-Ah

↠Hak

↠Yona

↠Yoon

↠Keija

↠ Jae-Ha

↠Zeno

⌲ Warnings:

↠Cutestness 2x

⌲ Prompt/Summary: A lively villager that who happens to be lost. 

⌲ Notes:

↠He’s adorable. You can't change my mind.

↠My fatass couldnt sit down and make it a Oneshot

↠Instead I have to have an entire plot because I'm that bitch

 ⌲The tall man had watched you walk around in circles. It didn't take some genius to know you were lost. Muttering curses to yourself as you tried to figure out where your village was. He watched you in silence, your clothes light, showing your shoulders and bare back, revealing your legs and bare feet. Nothing like the clothes he had seen before. Maybe you were a village without a dragon. Your hair in a puff, your skin glowing in the sunlight, you really weren't from any of the known villages. 

⌲Subconsciously following behind you, he felt some sort of connection to you. This went on for a few minutes, where every time you moved, Shin-Ah was quick to follow you. Until you suddenly stopped and looked in his direction. 

⌲ Piercing E/C eyes that stared through him. Freezing, he didn't move. “Are you going to follow me or say something?” You spoke confidently, still staring right at the man who was following you. Slowly climbing down from the tree, he revealed himself. 

⌲“Oh.” Your gaze softened, like you recognized him and turned around and went back to walking. Not speaking, Shin-Ah walked behind you staying 9 feet from you, but still watching you. “What’s your name?” You broke the silence and looked at the man. Half of his face was covered with a horned mask.

⌲“Im Y/N.” He gave a soft nod. You smiled and went back to looking for your village, yet you didn't seem far too worried about being lost. “I guess you don't like to talk. You don't mind if I rant a bit.” He shook his head, and you smiled and sat down on a log, keeping your distance from the strange man. 

⌲“I'm from a village located inside a ravine. The Aether tribe, the 5th element. A tribe without a dragon, but dragon tamers some say. Our village isn't shared to the outside world, nor does it acknowledge dragons, but some people of our village are born with the power to sense them.” You looked at your hands and back at the man, who sat on the ground, 6 feet away from you.

⌲“Are you a dragon tamer?” He spoke softly and quietly. You almost didn't hear him. You nodded and stared at your hands before crossing your arms and looking at the sky. “A few hours before nightfall.” You sighed. 

⌲“Im Shin-Ah.”

⌲You nodded, saying his name before slowly standing up and stretching your arms. Shin-Ah stared at you in silence before slowly standing up and following behind you, heading in a random direction. “There’s a total of four dragons, right?” Another nod. “How good are your eyes?” 

⌲You turned around and faced him, standing three feet from you, he muttered ‘good.’ You pointed to a tall tree. “Can you climb up there and see if you can see a large canyon or ravine.” Shin-Ah softly nodded, and climbed up the tree, his eyes immediately spotting a large ravine, west of where you both were going, we were heading north.

⌲“This way.” He climbed down, walking a foot behind you, listening to your stories of your village and childhood. Talking once in a while, seeming perfectly content with hearing you speak. To him your voice was soothing and all your stories were interesting. Before you knew it, you both were walking side by side. 

⌲“I'm glad you've warmed up to me Shin-Ah.” The smallest smile spread across his lips, nodding. He rather liked your company. He was sure that Yona and the others would understand if he was gone a little longer. 

⌲ “Y/N!” A distressed voice called your name, appearing from the brush. B/N, your eldest brother. Relief spread through his face. He quickly rushed towards you. Before spotting Shin-Ah, preparing to fight. “Who are you?!”

⌲“A friend.” Standing in front of my brother, he was easily angered and wouldn't stand for it. Harshly grabbing your arm, you winced. “We’re going home! You can't have friends outside of the village!” Shin-Ah grabbed your other arm, pulling you towards him.

⌲“Y/N, is helping me. So let go.” He wasn't asking, Shin-Ah was demanding. He didn't trust this man and refused to even try. “She’s returning to the village. She’s my responsibility.” Yanking my arm from my brother, I glared at him. “I will return on my own time.” 

⌲You cautiously grabbed Shin-Ah’s hands and walked away, watching your brother's movements. “He’s going to follow us. So follow my lead.” You turned away and took off into a run, weaving through trees, your hand still holding Shin-Ah’s tightly. 

⌲After deeming it was safe, you fell back releasing Shin-Ah’s hand. His gaze moving from you to his hand, which felt extra warm. Night had just fallen, leaving you to start a campfire and scrounge around for any food you could find, while ignoring the chilly winds. 

⌲Giving most of the berries and nuts you've found to Shin-Ah and keeping the smaller portion, you both ate in silence. “Are you cold?” Slowly nodded, Shin-Ah moved closer to you, sliding off his mask and froze as he stared at you.

⌲Your eyes wide, he couldn't tell what you were thinking. Immediately regretting it, he mumbled an apology, keyword. Tried. Before he even got the chance, you leaned closer to him. “Your eyes. They Are so beautiful. So you must be the blue dragon.” He softly nodded, and you took his hands in your own.

⌲“You're so cold.” Muttering, you slipped the mask and placed his mask on his forehead and moved him closer to you. “The forest is far more active at night. My brother probably already told my village and they'll come for me.” Rest side by side, he lightly held your hand. His golden eyes stared at before looking away. His voice barely a whisper.

⌲“Then i'll protect you.”

[macorni]

Talk To Me

  Ship: Moceit

Date I wrote this: 12/10/20 (December 10th, 2020.)   

  Mini-Fic                                TW: Arguing, crying, self-harm in a way, unhealthy coping, and swearing. Just Janus Angst.                                                janus angst

Word Count: 2023 

Janus felt as if the world was ending, his best and only friend broke up with him (meaning they're no longer friends) after a misuse of words during an argument, Janus covered his mouth and laid on his bed to soften any cries and to be at least comfortable The argument was silly and useless, Janus recently gotten back from another discussion with the Light Sides and Remus was there waiting for him, "You might as well be another Virgil." Remus told him, Janus raised a brow, "What is that supposed to mean?" Remus rolled his eyes, "It means you're going to friend them and leave me alone, even if you say you're not leaving, as Virgil once said, 'I will not leave.' But we all now know that was a lie. So, are you gonna leave as well?" Janus was taken back by that statement.

"What? That is prosperous! No I will not." Janus gritted through his teeth, he hated to be compared to that emo. He felt a bit of himself die when Remus said, "You're a liar, how am I supposed to know, Deceit?" Now, Remus knows Janus's name, so it hurt to be called 'Deceit' when he's not Deceit, he is Janus. He didn't want to be only seen as Deceit, just how Remus didn't want to be seen as only 'Intrusive Thoughts' but he kept his mouth shut about that statement, "I don't lie all the time, you should know that, but again, you're a monster, not logical." Janus felt the words slip through his mouth. It sounded so sour and harsh but in such a careless tone. It sounded like nothing at all. Remus's breath fastened, and Janus slapped his hand over his mouth afterwards, it was a very loud silence, "Remus, I- Uh- I-" Janus stuttered but Remus interrupted, "No no, if that's how you feel then so be it." Remus snapped, going to his brother, leaving Janus alone.

That leaves Janus here, in present, sobbing on his bed. He didn't mean any harm but he speaks too fast, and words cloud his mind like air pollution and the words fall out like a waterfall. He shouldn't be crying, he didn't get hurt, Remus did. This was so fucking selfish and stupid. He gasped for breath but it seemed as if his lungs gave up on him, eyes watering and burning. He can't lose his one and only best friend, no, not again. He can't lose anyone else- first "O"(Orange Side who left to god who knows where when they were teens), then Virgil, and now Remus? Not to mention Roman will definitely tell everyone else and everyone will hate him more.

Janus shuttered at the thought. He can't handle emotions well, he tries to hide the bad ones, but he rarely laughs at anything at all anymore. He watched an 15 minute vine compilation and laughed- more of a soft huff- three times. Janus has breakdowns pretty often but he doesn't tell anymore or wants anyone to know, so when he does, he takes the anger and confusion out on himself, example being: He hits him, sometimes the head, or stomach, or the legs. He holds his breath until he is about to pass out. He scratches at the covered scales. He also rips up old photos, to the point where he makes 2x copies of the same picture because he will rip it eventually.

He decided to head to the library in the mindscape, or the light mindscape. The dark sides don't have much, which includes a library which Janus hates. He waited until he was presentable, tidied up his outfit, and then started to venture to the library. He'll definitely see Logan. Janus walked into the library and sure enough, blue boy was there reading a book about philosophy during the Ancient times and up to the 1980's. Estimated 500 pages from the looks of the thick dark green book with golden text on it saying, "Philosophy Throughout The Ancients to 1980's." with a smaller text with the author.

Janus disregarded the man, Logan and him we're on neutral terms, though Logan found it frustrating when Janus would deceive the others as him, and Janus found it frustrating when Logan would constantly lie about how he felt. Logan noticed the yellow side wandering by him, "Salutations, Janus." Logan greeted and Janus gave him an awkward wave, "Hi." Janus walked to a Psychology area and grabbed the books labeled, "Understanding Emotions." "Opening up." "Life Advice." and "How to deal and help with mental illnesses."  Janus sat down at a small table, 3 tables away from Logan, and began to read the first book, "Understanding Emotions."

Janus read for about an hour before Roman and Patton entered to hangout with Logan. Roman's face twisted in disappointment when he saw Janus sitting down, Patton smiled, he didn't mind the snake after the previous Sanders Sides episode, not counting the Asides. "Salutations, Roman and Patton." Logan told the two, waving. "Hi Logan!"  Patton smiled widely and Roman responded with a simple yo. The 3 we're relatively loud but Janus liked some noise then none. Silence was sometimes so violent, it drove Janus insane, being left alone in your thoughts. Patton decided to talk to Janus, and made his way to the other side, sitting down across from him.

"Hi Janus!" Patton smiled, "Hello Patton, do you need anything?" Janus asked, not many people willingly talked to him. Most hated him, including himself. "Nah, I just wanted to chat. We never chat outside of discussions, I want to know you better." Patton explained, Janus was taken back from his kindness, even if he didn't sense it, he convinced himself it was a lie, "Oh okay, I'm not very interesting, just a fair warning." Janus smirked, Patton giggled a little, "Everyone has some sort of interesting piece of them." Janus shrugged,  "I'm kind of ordinary. Besides appearance wise." Janus continued to read, "Whatcha reading?" Patton tried to read it upside down, and failed miserably, "A book about understanding emotions better." Janus told him, "Ooooh! Neat!" Patton moved next to him, leaning over and reading along.

"You should read funner books." Patton suggested, which triggered Logan's grammar sense, "Patton, 'Funner' is not a word, it is pronounced 'More fun.'" Logan said loud enough for him to hear, which caused Janus to chuckle, "Sorryyy!" Patton said fast, "I would but I don't feel like it has a educational benefit for the next crisis." Janus said honestly, "For someone who was people to self care and do what they want- if it's not dangerous- you really don't take your own advice, do you?" Patton explained, Janus paused, "W-Well that is because I don't feel as if I need it. I need to be doing my work and learning more. I gotta help Thomas, ya know." Janus found the right words to say. "You don't feel as if you need it?" Patton said, more quietly, Janus nodded. "I actually have a question, could you help me?" Patton asked, "Uh sure." Janus shrugged, looking away from the tan pages to the freckled boy, "Could you help me choose what gift I should get Remus for Christmas?" Patton whispered, not wanting Roman to hear, Janus nodded.

The two went to Patton's room, "So, Remus would most definitely hate a more colorful makeup pallet- since he does a lot of Special Effects Makeup." Janus suggested, "Ohh, thank you!" Patton smiled, writing that down. Janus got up to leave but Patton grabbed his arm which in response, Janus flinched and pulled away a bit, "Uh, yeah?" Janus asked, "Can we talk?" Patton asked, Janus sat down, nodding. "Have you actually been taking care of yourself?" Patton asked, Janus hesitated, "Uh, of course." He lied, "Janus, I saw your books. Are you okay?" Patton asked, as if he actually cared, which was way to absurd and unrealistic in Janus's mind. The words stung, does he actually want to know? Janus has so many questions, "Hey, I won't tell anyone anything, talk to me." Patton grabbed Janus's hands in a soft manner, smiling. Janus felt tears prick, "You don't really care, do you?" Janus asked, forcing the tears back down, "Pitying me?" Janus assumed. The light blue side shook his head, "No, I really do care," Patton started and Janus looked away but Patton took one of his hands and turned his face turns him and cupped his cheek in the same hand, "just talk to me, I'll listen." he finished.

Janus felt a single tear stroll down his face, nobody ever wanted to listen, he know he shouldn't but he does anyways, "Emotions confuse me. I don't know how to help them or react. Whenever something bad happens, I get obviously sad, and I began to cry too much or too little. And when I don't know what to do, I break down. I don't know how to.. stop breaking down. I always end up hurting myself or breaking some valuable. You're probably annoyed now, I'll shu-" Patton shushed him, "No no, rant to me, I like the sound, I like your voice." he smiled, lovingly, which made Janus confused on why he cared, "If you insist.. I can't talk to anymore or be my own self because I am too scared of being even less likeable, and if I open up too much it'll scare people away, make them uncomfy, or I'll be too much and they leave me. I-I just feel so lost and I do no good, even when I try. Maybe me leaving all together would help everyone, including Thomas. Having no denial or deceit may be good, but the bad of having absolutely no self preservation could do. I feel like him on auto-pilot now." Janus couldn't stop talking but Patton didn't mind.

"Sometimes, I feel like I'd be better dead. I mean, in the long run I'd be helpful if I just went awa-" Janus got cut off by a bone- crushing hug from Patton, "Just lay down, okay?" Patton suggested and Janus did, he laid down on the bed and Patton laid down too, the two facing each other. Patton wrapped his arms around Janus's waist and pulled him closer, and Janus wrapped his arms around Patton's neck, Janus's head resting in the crook of the others neck. "..See, just stay like this.. You'll feel better soon."

Janus felt the tears just pour from his eyes, he sobbed onto Patton knowing he'll never feel this type of love again. Patton rubbed circles into his back, Janus was so vulnerable, anything could just hurt him right now, a shaking, sobbing mess. Patton never knew Janus held in so much, he didn't know one of the 2nd most serious side held so much pain within, he knows that Logan is going through it too. "P-P-Please don't t-tell anyone about t-this.." Janus said in between sobs, gripping onto Patton and his shirt, "I wont ever tell anyone, promise." Patton said softly. They stayed like this for at least 15 minutes, then Janus stopped crying, he was just shaking.

"We can stay like this for awhile.." Patton told him, noticing the boy still shaking, "S-Sure." Janus repositioned himself so he was laying on his right side and Patton cupped him, rubbing his chest. "Cute." Patton told him, "Uh-huh, ssssssso cute." Janus lightheartedly said and rolling his eyes in a playful manner, and hissed, Patton giggled at this hiss. Janus took off his hat and threw it onto Patton's desk chair. "Thank you ssssso much, Patton." Janus smiled.

"No problem."

- Minific by m.acorni

[millieg-03]

4.20am Sunday, 21/03/2021

I’m pretty restless tonight. The morphine helps me sleep a little, but my arm movement keeps blocking my cannula, resulting in the constant beep on the infusion pump.

My pain levels are tolerable. My tummy is pretty full though, and still no stoma output. I can feel the start of the cramps building up as the morphine is wearing off, but my dose is keeping me consistently comfortable.

Yesterday was a good day. I managed to ‘eat’ two serves of chicken broth, two instant coffees and two apple juices. There hasn’t been a lot of food this week. There has been a lot of craziness though!

My stomal therapy nurse (STN) visited my house on Monday afternoon to insert a catheter into the distal opening of my stoma. As I watched the colonoscopy prep be inserted via catheter into my system, I didn’t envy the missed opportunity to taste it. Gotta take the wins where they come!

7am Tuesday morning, my STN visited again for round two. Inquisitive me watched carefully throughout this process, and helped where I could - I found it quite fascinating.

Round three happened at 9.30am, then for the first time in 9 months I was able to sit on the toilet and ‘go’ like a normal person.

In the day surgery prep room my Dad fielded a message from my beautiful Peter - our home loan had been approved. WooHoo! So excited for our future! Dad stayed by me for a few hours while I waited for my turn in theatre. It’s a routine procedure, but there was this bogey hanging about that gave this unspoken feeling that things were more than just routine. The gravity of the situation was cemented when my surgeon visited me in recovery. He could see tumour recurrence through the scope. His tone gave insight that I will have a long road ahead. This news did not surprise nor shock me.

I grabbed my property bag, got changed & checked my voicemail “I have the paperwork in front of me, I just need to know what your start date will be. We can’t wait for you to join our team” - I tabled that one for the day, called my beautiful Peter & delivered the minimal information provided to me in recovery. Off we went home to grab the cake & present & headed out to dinner for my 5yr old nieces birthday. It was lovely being around family. The genuine joy as she opened her presents & squealed in excitement. All the little kids lining up for a piece of their Snow White birthday cake. And the food! I enjoyed garlic bread, chicken parmy & a piece of Peter’s delicious chocolate cake. Absolutely de-lish.

I was coaxed into slumber that night by sound of waves through my belly. There were wooshes & grumbles, and I soon found sleep.

I got up to empty half my stoma bag at 2am & sought some strong pain relief. The wooshes and grumbles were no longer playing nice. My bag wasn’t as full as normal. The pain relief kicked in, and I went back to sleep.

Peter dropped me at work that next morning. I was quite keen to be back. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy working hard. I enjoy problem solving, and challenging myself to get better outcomes. It was good to be back at work after a few days off. Team meeting went off without a hitch, but concentration became increasingly difficult thereafter. I took an early lunch just to lay down. Not long after returning to the desk I was unable to manage the pain enough to continue working. 12.44pm text to Peter “I think I might need to go to hospital. My stoma hasn’t worked since dinner, my abdo pain is bad & I just threw up”. I laid in the foetal position while my beautiful colleague sat and comforted me. 10 minutes later I was escorted to Peter’s car.

I’m definitely more rascal than refined elegance. I’ve had my fair share of nights out over the years where I’ve ended up a sickly mess. It’s almost a right of passage through your early twenties, right? Well I don’t think I have ever been this messy, and any fibres of decorum I held, I’m pretty sure I left them in the gutter outside the hospital emergency room. Peter dropped me at the door while he found a park. I didn’t make it to the door. The complete contents of my previous night’s dinner was exited into the gutter, and Peter found me in a ball on the ground rocking back & forward. I had a 10/10 pain, even with targin in my system (a slow-release opiate pain relief).

Here I sit, four days later (now 5.15am), still in hospital. I’m restless because I’m on patient transport today to go to Royal Prince Albert Hospital in Sydney. My Thursday MRI scan showed tumour recurrence & spread to surrounding organs. It’s in my ovaries, uterus and small bowel (hence bowel obstruction & excruciating pain). My current understanding is that a kick-arse surgical team from RPAH will remove anything containing tumours. They will take my uterus and ovaries out. They will take some of my small bowel out. My stoma (I’ve named her Betty) looks like becoming a permanent fixture. If there is any activity near my bladder, then some of that will be removed & probably result in a Urostomy (bladder stoma). Mum thinks I should call her Bertha if this does eventuate. I like that. Bertha and Betty.... there’s also one deposit just hanging about a bit higher. I was told it’s not near the lungs, but more sitting in some fatty tissue near my large bowel somewhere. The true extent of things won’t be known until they actually get in there and have a look!

In terms of looking toward our future, I withdrew from the new job. We are still selling our house, but will move in with Mum & Dad and rent our new one out until I’ve recovered enough to return to work.

Transport is tentatively booked for 9.50am, so I’ll get up & do some laps of the ward, then get myself ready for the trip.

(I did 2x 1km walks of the hallway yesterday!).

For now? Over and out - MandyG Xoxox

[hazard-and-friends]

Month 6

Holy cow my little dude. Look how far you’ve come!

Before: Heartworm positive. I couldn’t leave without him having a 30 minute meltdown including trying to pull down the blinds so he could see out the window. Spent 4 hours fixating on the cat and vocalizing. Walked on a front attach harness as otherwise he would lunge and choke himself. Knew not a single verbal cue (at first--picked up his name in 2 days!). Even once he knew some things, none of them worked outside--I spent 45 minutes walking without him looking at me once. Growled at strangers if they approached within 10 feet. Marked in the house and didn’t warn when he had to pee. Took between 20 and 30 minutes to get him INTO the crate at night, followed by 10-20 minutes of vocalizing before he would sleep.

Now: Heartworm negative! If he has an interesting food puzzle, he’ll ignore me going out the door as long as he’s crated; otherwise, if crated there’ll be a couple barks and if not, some barks and pacing but settles within 5 minutes. Can be left 100% alone for 10 seconds at a time. Goes on his morning walk on a flat collar and only lunges if relatively close to squirrels (getting closer all the time!!), then self corrects to hang back with me (while whining, oh buddy). Knows so many cues that tomorrow we’re going to play some cue discrimination games. Also knows his name and sit and SOMETIMES touch outside! Progress!! Doesn’t growl at strangers largely at all, even when they’re neighbors and on His Property >.<. Hasn’t had an accident in months (random vomit excepted), still doesn’t use his bell but that’s because we communicate telepathically instead. Walks into his crate for bedtime, unless it’s a couch night, and settles instantly as long as the cat isn’t Being Interesting. Even when she is, we’re still talking a minute or so of nonsense.

So that’s the summary, onto the details:

Anxiety: Continues on 50 mg/2x day of trazodone. We haven’t needed to dip into the gabapentin. General anxiety has very much settled down, and his SA is almost back to where it was in mid-September. As above, I can largely leave without incident as long as he’s crated. We should start this week trying me leaving without him crated.

Cat: While he still has moments where Penny is SUPER EXCITING (see: this evening), mostly he is very blase about the cat existing near him. Penny is largely more interesting than doing literally nothing, so he’s very easy to redirect but is still working on self calming. Fingers crossed, we think the baby gate will be down by the end of the year. Penny, for her part, is getting VERY comfortable in Dog Range and will play with him.

Crate: Sleeps in it. Sleeps out of it. Doesn’t care. Goes in when I leave. Goes in other times. Doesn’t care. Love it.

Weight: Will check in on this tomorrow.

Formal training: Watch is so fucking slow oh my god. We’ll work on it tomorrow. Sit/down/touch good, “this way” is our relaxed U turn, sometimes I remember that stand & his place cues exist. We’re getting there.

Handling: THIS IS WHERE THE EFFORT WENT. Today I touched his toes with the dremel several times in a row!! Admittedly it was off but oh my god. He comes and opts in to toe touching, and then I touch his toes a lot and feed him constantly, and eventually he goes and takes a break--and then comes BACK. Amazing what some cooperative care and start buttons will do.

Stranger danger: We’ve started group classes at Petco for this, which means once a week he spends an hour with three strange adults and a strange dog. It’s very exhausting and last time he came home and passed out for the rest of the day. They’re all good at following his boundaries, and he’s starting to go up and sniff. After a bad meeting of the new neighbor (neighbor caught us both by surprise and I didn’t have treats on me, so Hazard growled and hackles up until I could physically turn him around), we met him again this morning with no noise or dramatics. Very slow but very real progress.

Walks: This week is 25 min in the morning and 15 in the evening. I’ll continue adding 5 min to morning walks until either it’s 45 minutes OR I quit Petco, and then there’s some complicated flowchart for where my extra energy goes which I’ll address when we get there.

tldr: rescue dog comes home and develops behavior issues, but after 6 months of hard work is a very good dog

[sub-taehyung]

Little Accidents

☆ Pairings: Mommy!reader x Little!Taehyung

☆ Summary: Taehyung really wants to surprise his Mommy by wearing a pair of underwear, instead of his diaper. But he soon realizes he doesn't know how to use the potty, and has an accident while she's away at work.

☆ Genre: angst, fluff

☆ Word Count: 1.8k

☆ A/N note: this ended up being a LOT longer than I thought it would be (like almost 2x as long) but I loved writing it so it's fine!

“Bye Mommy!” Little Taehyung said as he waved from the front door, watching his Mommy pull out of the driveway and head off to work. “Hmm… I wanna do something to surprise Mama but… what?” He asked himself after closing the front door. Suddenly an idea struck and he ran into their bedroom. After digging in their closest for a few minutes, he found the brand new pack of undies she had gotten for him. She had purchased the underwear when they had first gotten together, soon realizing that he wasn’t ready for underwear just yet. They decided to put them away until he was fully potty trained. But at this point, Taehyung had forgot their agreement and decided to put on a pair to surprise his mommy. After struggling with the straps, he tossed the (thankfully clean) diaper onto their bed. “How do I do this…?” He asked himself, trying to recall if he’d seen his mommy put hers on. “Oh right!” He slipped one leg through the waistband and into the leg hole, doing the same for the other leg and pulling the pair up. He ran over to the full body mirror and smiled his biggest smile. Although they were on backwards, he was so proud of himself. He pulled at the purple fabric, smiling at the brown puppies and blue flowers printed on it. Suddenly he ran over to their bed and grabbed his Tata plushie, running into the kitchen to grab a juice box and animal crackers. Then he ran into the living room to watch his favorite cartoon, Tom & Jerry, which was always on after his Mommy left for work. After half an hour of watching the cartoon, he grabbed himself another juice box. But by the time he’d been watching the show for three hours, he had drank six juice boxes, and was beginning to have to go potty. Do I potty in undies? Oh… these are for after potty training… I can’t potty in these… I don’t know how to use the potty though… “Oh no!” Taehyung yelped out loud, leaning forward as he felt a sharp pain in his bladder from holding it in. “Mama!” He cried out, knowing that if it was a normal day for her, she’d be gone for at least another five hours. He doubled over in pain, completely forgetting his show and instead trying to ease the pressure in his stomach. The juice went through him faster than usually, at least that’s what he thought since normally he’s peed his diaper by his third juice box. He tried laying on his back, on his side and then the other side, his stomach, but no matter how he laid it never seemed to help him feel even the slightest bit better. Soon he felt himself leak and began crying for his Mommy, pressing a hand to the front of his underwear in hopes to stop from peeing anymore. “MOMMY PLEASE COME HOME!” He didn’t dare get off the floor to try calling her, now in far too much pain to even think about standing up. Soon after the slight leak, his bladder finally gave out, causing him to fill his undies with pee, quickly soaking through and getting all over his hand and onto the floor. After he finished emptying himself, he began sobbing, knowing his mommy wouldn’t want to come home just to clean up such a huge potty mess. “Mama’s gonna be so mad at me!” He whined, looking down at his mess. He sat up in the puddle, lip quivering at the sight of his failed surprise. ’m sorry Mama… “I don’t know how to clean this up!” He pouted, grabbing his nearby Tata and squeezing it for comfort. Taehyung soon felt increasingly tired, as that was about the time he would take a nap, eventually laying back down and falling asleep, not even bothering to move from the puddle.

About an hour later, Taehyung’s Mommy came through the door. She hadn’t told him that that day was a short day for her, so she came home extra early. Being quiet, as she knew he’d hopefully be napping at that time, she walked to their bedroom to find he wasn’t there. “Baby?” She called softly, looking around for him. As she walked around she saw him on his side in front of the TV, fast asleep, with a huge puddle of pee surrounding him. “What in the world?” She questioned as she got sight of the underwear he was wearing rather than a diaper. His tear stained cheeks caught her attention as she looked at him, wondering the best way to clean everything up. “Baby, wake up.” She whispered, running her thumb against his cheek. His eyes fluttered open, a multitude of emotions filling his eyes. “Mama?” He asked as his eyes watered up. “Oh baby, shh it’s ok!” She reassured, completely ignoring his sticky bottom and picking him up. He quickly nuzzled his face into the safety of her neck. “I tried to surprise Mommy but I didn’t know how to use da potty and I drank too much juice and pottied myself and I sorry Mama! Pwease don’t mad at Taetae, Mommy!” He rambled out at a speed that she just barely understood. “Awe shhh, Mommy isn’t mad! Don’t worry, baby! Take deep breaths for Mama.” She said, rubbing circles into his back. After a few minutes of him calming down she pulled him out of her neck, gently holding the sides of his face. “How about we get clean up, yeah?” She asked, to which he nodded slowly. She stood up with him in her arms, and walked into their bathroom. Once she had sat him on the toilet (with the lid down) she started running the bath. “Baby, can you get out of your clothes while I go get us clean clothes and a couple towels?” She asked looking at his small, cold body. “Too little. Need Mama’s help.” He said softly, looking at the floor. “Ok, well I’ll go get the clothes and towels first, and when I come back I’ll help you, ok?” She asked, making sure he was ok with it. He only nodded, signaling her to get their clothes and towels. She grabbed his green onesie with a dalmatian on the front with his orange socks with yellow ducks on them. Then she grabbed herself an oversized TMNT hoodie and a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. Once she had come back to the bathroom, she set the clothes aside, added his favorite lavender bubble bath soap to the water, and then came to stand in front of him. “Arms up!” She exclaimed trying to lighten the mood, lifting her own arms and watching his lift up as well. She then grabbed the bottom of his shirt and lifted it up and over his head and arms, leaving him in only the soiled undies. “Alright baby, stand up so we can get you out of those.” She said, watching him slowly stand up, not looking up from the floor. She lifted his face so he was looking at her and gave him a soft kiss. “I promise I’m not mad at you, baby. It’s ok.” She whispered, him giving a small smile in reply. “That’s my good boy.” She praised watching his face go red. She then grabbed the waistband of the underwear and pulled them down, him stepping out before she tossed them aside. Before he could even react, she scooped him up bridal style. “Ah Mama!” He yelped, wrapping his arms around her neck with a giggle. She walked over to the bath tub and slowly sunk him in, watching his face relax as the warm water engulfed him until he reached the bottom of the tub. After pulling her arms out from under him, she stopped the water, watching him sink deeper into a comfortable bliss. After watching him melt in the bath for a few minutes, she then took her own clothes off and slipped into the bath behind him, wrapping her arms around his small waist.

“Mama’s comfy.” He mumbled, leaning against her.

She spent the next hour cleaning every little bit of him, making sure that he had no more sticky spots from the day’s earlier accident, and of course, his favorite part of bath time that was always the last thing to do. When she takes his vanilla scented shampoo off the shelf and gives him a scalp massage. “Mmm Mama…” He said in bliss, pushing against her hands like a puppy in need of more pets. “That feel good, baby?” She asked, although she already knew the answer. After almost ten minutes of scrubbing his scalp, she finally rinsed him off and unplugged the tub. She soon stood up causing him to protest. “Don’t wanna get out, Mama!” He exclaimed in a pout, crossing his arms over his bubble covered chest. “Little boys can’t stay in the bath forever! You’ll become a little raisin baby if you do!” She insisted, having already climbed out and begun drying herself off. “Really Mama?” He asked in shock, eyes going wide. “Ok no, but your skin will look like a raisin if you don’t get out.” She admitted, hanging up her blue towel and grabbing his purple one. “Raisin Taetae!” He shouted, jumping up quickly causing some water to splash out. “Aish Taetae!” She jokingly scolded, helping him step out of the tub. “My messy lil tiger cub!” She teased, ruffling his hair with the towel, causing him to giggle and show off his boxy smile.

After drying off and getting dressed, Taehyung and his Mommy ended up on the couch cuddling. The TV was playing Paw Patrol, although Taehyung was the only one really watch. His Mommy was just starting at him, an adoring smile keeping her mouth stretched. She thought he hadn’t noticed her staring until- “Mommy, why are you looking at me?” He asked, turning his head to look up at her. “Oh, no reason! I just have the most beautiful boy in the whole world.” She said matter of factly, kissing his cheek and causing him to giggle at the praise. “Are you sure I’m not in trouble for earlier? I made such a mess…” He trailed off, looking down at the fluffy blanket that hugged them. “Of course not, baby. You were just trying to surprise me, and I think you punished yourself enough as it is.” She replied, nuzzling her face into his neck, giving him small kisses. “Ok Mama… I love you.” He said, smiling as the kisses tickled him. “I love you too.” She replied, leaning back to look at him and then giving him a deep kiss, being sure to hold him as close to her body as possible.

[jisungmark]

for those interested in my kcon experience. if not, just skip!

for those who may not know: chungha, everglow, and oneus were unable to attend due to visa issues. wheein from mamamoo was unable to attend due to health issues.

day one (8/15):

we (as in my bestfriend and i) didn’t have anything planned since we weren’t going to klub kcon. we just went straight to early check-in after we dropped our luggage off, the line was c r a z y. we saw what engagements we had for groups (originally we pulled n.flying (2x), mamamoo, momoland, and verivery audiences) then we went down to this big huddle that they had going on and ended up switching a few of our passes and getting sf9, stray kids, and ateez. after all that was done, we just went site seeing and tried in & out, it’s not good.

day two (8/16):

we woke up kinda early since we were still on pa time so we went to get breakfast. then we just went straight to the convention. the convention was huge and it had so much going on, it was absolutely wild. we did random dance plays, watched dance groups perform, yknow things like that. then we went to ateez’s audience. they are so fucking pretty in person. yunho had blonde hair with black roots. yeosang and this american air is a good mix 🥵 we didn’t have a hi-touch so we watched the other crowd do it. san was interlocking his fingers with poc girls. seeing that made my entire day, it was so beautiful. after that we just went back to the convention and did some more bullshit. ateez ended up coming down for a random dance play but by the time we found out, the crowd was too big. so we waited on the side and got videos of them when they left. we blew some time until we had to go wait in line for kcon rookies. ateez, loona, and ab6ix performed. we were towards the back, but the back view was so nice bc you could see everything. they introduced themselves, played games, and each performed. once that was over, we went to go eat. we tried shake shack, chic-fil-a is better.

day three (8/17):

so we had our n.flying audience passes still but we had no idea who they were. so we ended up skipping their engagement. i really don’t even remember what we’re doing at that time. sf9 had a live talk and we watched some of it before we bolted down to their audience line to get a good standing place. lemme tell you, dawon being a crackhead in english is my new kink. hwiyoung was out here glowing, well everyone was. they were just so mf pretty. it’s crazy because we were gonna sell those passes so that we could see ateez at the foodie stage, but that crowd was too big and it was impossible to really see. we had an audience pass for stray kids, but some mess happened and we ended up not seeing them. we tried to do a meet and greet with holland, but the line was too long so we ended up not seeing him. i bought some merch and we left the convention. we went back to our friends’ hotel before we went to koreatown. i bought a little ass seventeen keychain for $11 (the love for my boys). then we went to go eat at a restaurant. we saw a girl who does dance covers on insta (@_isabae_) outside. the idea became to all hold up a different video of hers towards the window until she saw it. she may have cried, she may have recorded us, she may have called us weird. then we just all went back to our places of stay at wee hours in the morning.

day four (8/18):

i ended up buying a verivery hi-touch from someone. i went by myself because my bestfriend didn’t really know them. we played games and won free stuff before i went down and got in line. she stayed up in the convention and was gonna get near the stage for the live talk with stray kids but the crowd was crazy. it was almost half the convention that was filled. i was in a good spot when it came to seeing verivery, all the pictures i got were close and clear. their hands are so soft. look, i’m supposed to be minchan biased but when hoyoung closed his fingers around my hand, my mind went blank. like i truthfully don’t remember much of my hi-touch but that part as well as yongseung holding on. minchan is on the taller side and his fingers are really slender. but that’s really all i remember. i went back to my bestfriend and almost cried bc of it. some nice girl in the audience crowd recorded for me. we stood in the stray kids live talk crowd for a bit before we went over to the star square. verivery was over there again and i like almost tore my bestfriend’s arm off when i saw them behind the curtain. they read us our horoscopes and signed their name on the wall. we made our way back to the live talk since we knew verivery was gonna be next but a lot of them didn’t move from stray kids. my bestfriend went to a random play dance and i went and got in line for red carpet. we sat in line for two hours but it was worth it. we saw stray kids, verivery, n.flying (we didn’t know they were so fucking beautiful???? we regretted not going to their audience), itzy, fromis_9, AND SEVENTEEN. now y’all know how i feel about seventeen. i literally started crying a bit as soon as i saw them. i recorded each group i liked to the best of my ability but i was screaming and shaking. seventeen was last and after they left, i really just broke down and cried. like i got to see the group who means probably the most to me in person. we just hung out with some friends until it was time to say our goodbyes. we acted a fool in public and some guy thought we were actually performers so he asked to take a picture with us. meanwhile there was a group actually performing (@b2e on insta). we took pictures, videos, exchanged social medias, everything before it was time to go. we got back to our airbnb with heavy hearts and we flew back home the next morning.

[justbrooksy]

Didn’t really do a meet recap. (Long story.)

Friday night I had to drive 45 mins to the venue to do equipment check and put in my openers. The schedule for my weight class was weigh in 10:30am with a start time of 12:30pm on Saturday.

Like all races or events of course I didn’t sleep the night before. I was out the door about 8am with a cup of coffee. I wasn’t cutting for this meet but I had a personal goal to be as close as possible to 250. My weight class was 120kg so I wasn’t worried. When I walked in my bud told me they were running about an hour or so behind. Of course. I was pretty anxious so just started foam rolling and chillin out.

Finally around 12:45 they called us to weigh in for a 2:45 start. For USAPL when you weigh in you have to strip down to your undies and stand in line for the scale. Felt like middle school. I said fk it and started eating a raw bagel while in line. I needed to start getting some energy on tap. Weighed in at 252.

We hit the warm up room and worked up to about 10# below my opener. My name was called and I was super nervous. I unracked the bar waited on the squat command, but the judge said Bars Loaded instead of SQUAT. Thankfully I just sat there till she got her shit straight. Smoked my opener, was super conservative. 360. Second attempt was even better at 380. Third attempt we went for 407 it was a grind but I made the lift. Unfortunetly they called me on depth. I’m not an argue with the judge type but I have three video angles and I got fkd!

I cleared my head and prepped for bench. My wife was really supportive and sending me texts about staying out of my way and not getting my head up my ass.

I knew bench was going to be rough. I’ve covered that. I just needed a token bench to keep going. I opened up with 247 and smoked it. On second attempt I took a handout for 265 and smoked it but red lights for jumping the start. On third I was over it so didn’t even fight it. 3 reds. I really wanted to retake second attempt but everyone said I smoked it so easily they wanted to jump to 290. I haven’t benched in months I didn’t think it was a good idea.

Deads went how I thought they would. This is my jam. Smoked 446 opener. Even better on 476 second. Failed 502 third. Between my second and third attempts I kept my belt on and kind of paced. I should have relaxed. By not taking my belt off my stomach was super tight and I was already suffering a bit from dehydration. When I got the 502 to my knees my stomach cramped up right above the belt so I sat it down and called it a day.

I was so happy for my support at this meet at least 15 people made the drive over to watch, cheer, video. My handler was a pro. He was so upset with the judges missed calls and commands. You drill these commands and when they fuck them up it does jack you up.

Apparently they put all the masters together, (I’m M1b) in one class and I managed to win 1st place with a 500kg total.

I took a lot away from this meet, learned a ton. Afterward I went to Cracker Barrel and destroyed 2x moms pancakes breakfasts. Oh ya.

That’s about it.

[shelbywanders]

My Labor & Delivery Story!

I had plans to get induced on Oct 24th, 2018. I was 39 weeks and 1 day and so ready for our little girl to be here. I was over being pregnant, I had been since like 20 weeks. I had morning sickness (more like all day sickness) all the way up until the day I gave birth. I had gestational diabetes, so I had to watch everything that I ate, and I had NST’s (non-stress tests) 2x a week for almost 10 weeks. I also had issues with my blood pressure, but thankfully it never progressed into preeclampsia. Needless to say, I was counting down the hours until my induction. 

We arrived at 7am. We got to our room, and I got into my lovely hospital gown, and we started the admissions process. Nothing really happened for the first hour, we just signed a bunch of papers and talked about the induction process. 

At 8:30am, I was 4cm dilated & 50% effaced. My doctor stripped my membranes in hopes to get the ball rolling on my own before even starting the Pitocin. At 9:15am, Cervidil (a pill that helps dilate the cervix) was inserted. I had to wait an hour for the pill to dissolve before doing anything, but once the hour was up, I was able to walk around finally. We circled the maternity floor countless times. My little brothers walked with me and had fun flirting with all the cute nurses! 

About an hour after walking around, we go back into our room and they started me on Pitocin around 2pm. I was 5 cm dilated after walking around! Shortly after I started having minor contractions but I couldn’t feel them much at first. It just felt like tightening in my back but it wasn’t painful yet. Around 3 I was checked again, and I was 6cm dilated now. She decided to break my water to get things going. After having my water broken, she noticed that Adeline’s head wasn’t fully facing down, so I got to have some fun laying on my side with the peanut ball to try to get her to turn all the way down. About an hour passed and my contractions started to get intense. I wasn’t getting any relief from them, they just kept coming and coming. On top of all that I had the shakes bad! Nobody warned me that this was common. I couldn’t stop shivering. I finally decided that it was time for the epidural, so they called the anesthesiologist.

*TRIGGER WARNING* 

The anesthesiologist came in and explained to me what he was going to do and that it shouldn’t take but a few minutes. I had to sit up at the edge of the bed and stay still. He starts to put the numbing agent in and all is fine. Then, as he’s doing what he’s doing, I realize that it’s taking him a long time. He told me he was going to have to move up a spot because my ligaments are thick and he couldn’t get the catheter in. I suddenly got this intense pressure build up from my back up into my neck and into my brain. It basically felt like my head was going to explode. I could hear liquid in my ears as well. I screamed out to him to stop because I knew this wasn’t normal and it hurt like hell. I explained to him what happened, but he was dumbfounded. Now I’m crying because I’m in a tremendous amount of pain and I’m freaked out because I feel like he just messed something up. It’s been almost 30 minutes now, and I still have to sit still through intense contractions. He finally gets it in and I’m able to have some relief for a couple of hours. It was a terrible experience and to this day I am having issues with having headaches. I actually have an MRI and MRA scheduled tomorrow in hopes we can figure out what is wrong. It’s been four months of having these daily headaches, and I am just praying they figure out what’s wrong so that I can get some relief.

Anyway, after the epidural, I’m able to rest a bit. I still feel pressure with my contractions, but the pain isn’t as severe. My contractions started to get more intense, it’s a little TMI, but it felt like I had to take the biggest poop of my life! I kept thinking, I HAVE TO GO! I decided to tell my nurse about the pressure I was feeling, and she checked me. “Whoa, baby’s head is right there!” I was 10 cm dilated, and my little girl was coming! I remember feeling super anxious. I took many deep breaths because I was honestly terrified. The room filled with excitement as we waited for my doctor to come down. It was time to push! 

The doctor came in, and we got ready to push. We waited for a contraction to come, which I knew when it was coming because at this point my epidural was basically nonexistent. Everyone started telling me to push and so I did! I pushed through only one contraction and for only about three minutes until she came flying out at 8:10pm. Literally. If my doctor hadn’t of been 36 weeks pregnant and had a big belly, I’m pretty sure she would have dropped my baby! She came out head first but did a somersault because of how fast I pushed her out, and the doctor caught her in a football hold. I have this fantastic picture from when she came out! Peep my mother’s reaction in the background! 

Hearing her first cry was like the most beautiful song I had ever heard. A sense of relief came over me. She was okay. My baby was here, and she was okay. They handed her to me, and she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Chris cut the cord, and he kissed me. He was glowing with happiness. Shortly after she latched and nursed for the first time. It was the most amazing experience. Her latch was so perfect, and she held onto her daddy’s fingers the whole time. We had one hour where it was just us doing skin to skin. They didn’t do any of the routine newborn stuff until after that bonding time. I thought it was so special. 

Finally, after 9 long months of pain and complications and doctor appointments, we had our baby girl with us. She was the most beautiful baby and looked exactly like her daddy! 

Adeline Mae Gspandl. 6 lbs 8 oz, 19 3/4 in. 10/24/18. 

[deeeelightfuldee]

surveys 062.

What battery percentage is your phone on right now? It’s at 55%

Do any medical afflictions run in your family? Yeppppppppppp

Who did you last talk to and what did you say? i sent a comma to kile. I can’t communicate to him anymore but it’s kind of my way of saying I’m here presently and available to read your messages. it probably annoys him and I should stop. 

What's your favourite Mexican dish? pork tacos from mama marias

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes. many times.

How far do you live from New York City? uhhhhh google says 12.5 hours. not too bad.

How often do you talk to your parents? mom usually every day. dad maybe 2x a year

What was the weather like in your town today? lets google. it was 92 today

Are there any phrases or words that you say a lot? talk to me goose, comin’ in hot, that’s ridiculous, sup homie

How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you ever had? ehgghghg

Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Yeah, many times.

What was the last movie you saw and who did you watch it with? serendipity 

What's the name of your first real boyfriend or girlfriend? I would say John

Do you clean your ears daily? Not daily, but every couple days.

What accent do you have? midwestern.

What scent of air freshener do you keep in your bathroom? It varies. usually a tree scent of some sort

Have you ever dated a model? No.

What's the best job you've ever had? hmm. babysitting an infant for like 2 hours 3x a week and making like 260 bucks a week.

How about the worst? nannying for a family where the dad was constantly trying to hit on me.

Do you have naturally straight hair? No, pretty curly.

What is your ultimate goal in life? To continuously find beauty in every day 

Have you ever visited someone in prison? nope

What months were you and your siblings born in? july, august, august, january

Do you write down your passwords in a physical place to prevent losing them? ahahhahahaha ummm a few of them. i am often in a “forgot your password?” situation

What are your three favourite vegetables? broccoli, cauliflower, potatoes

How many times a day do you check Facebook or any other social network? its SEVERELY decreased since not being on my phone with kile. looking at my phone usually brings me sadness, because i seldom have any word from him. so I just leave it alone.

When was the last time you had a blocked nose? idk.. 5-6 months ago

Who is your favourite comedian? I am not really sure, I dont follow many comedians

What colour are the socks you're wearing today? havent worn any yet

What did you have for dinner last night? steak

What was the last concert you went to? I want to say relient k

Are you an ugly crier? not really no

What scent is the soap or body wash you use in the shower? I’m on vacation so the scent is like a lavendarish scent which is not my style at all.

Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle? kind of. -.- not by choice.

Who do you live with? mom & gram

What letter does your street name begin with? numbers

Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? absolutely I do.

When was the last time you ate at McDonald's? A few weeks ago.

What's your favourite Popsicle flavour? blue

Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? i havent got a clue. I never go on FB

Do you have any injuries at the moment? yes. one of which is my shoulder and its reallyyyyyyy bugging me

Have you ever been to an ophthalmologist? the eye dr i used to go to was both opthamologist and optometrist so yes

Do you own any animal print clothes? oh probably.

Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? im tall. I would, maybe it’d be less off-putting to others

When was the last time you went to a drug store/pharmacy? gosh, like a week ago.

Do you ever binge-watch TV shows? just the same ones ive watched for years

Have you ever mustered up the courage to tell someone how you feel only to be rejected? uhhh, no I can’t say I have. 

Do you keep your files and documents organised in one place? somewhat.

What's your favourite sweet treat to bake? my infamous cookies

Are you good at flirting and letting people know you're interested? ill be real honest, I am so slow to fall for someone that it takes some time for me.

What did you have for breakfast today? toast (gf) and eggs

Do you prefer sweet or savoury breakfasts? Sweet

Do you like chick-flicks? heck’n yea

Have you ever taken an acting class? no. not interested

When was the last time you watched one of your favourite movies? yesterday

How often do you use Youtube? seldom. 

What's the coolest thing you've ever dressed up as for Halloween? i dont really do that.

Are you ignoring anyone right now? yeah :( </3

How do you usually style your hair? It’s always up in a messy bun. especially with the heat. but I might chop it off this fall idk.

Do you have any tattoos? Tell me about them. Nope. i wonder if kile will ever get his

Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? more times than I could count.

When was the last time you used a stove? tonight with a GF zucchini pizza

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to eat? mushrooms

Are you sitting, standing or laying (or something else) right now? I’m laying on my bed.

How many hours per week do you typically work? --

What was the last pill or tablet you took? probably headache meds or tummy meds on the day of my flight

How far away from your house is the closest grocery store? like 1.4 miles

Have you ever lived in university/college campus housing? Nope.

Who was the last person you complimented? uhhh maybe a sibling

Are you the type of person to take naps, even if you've slept plenty? I WISH

Do you have a crush on anyone at the moment? im trying not to, but im not successful yet

The age old question: dogs or cats? STOP ASKING ME TO MAKE A DECISION ON THIS

When was the last time you saw your best friend? ugh. i don’t think ill ever see him. He sent me a picture today, it was really nice to see his face.

Have you ever been fired from a job? Why? nope.

Are you tired right now? eh, not terribly.

Do you like spring rolls? I do.

What do you live on in terms of a street, road, crescent, place, court etc? street

How many purses or handbags do you own? like 5

Do you get along with all your aunts and uncles? no. some of them I never ever developed relationships with because their parents hated my dad.

Have you ever eavesdropped and heard something you didn't want to hear? Yeah gahhhh i hate that

When was the last time you used a pen, pencil or marker? uhhh yesterday I think

What's your favourite type of curry? None.

Do you often go to do or say something and then just forget? not often

Have you ever had casual sex? Noooooooo. not my thing

What was the last thing you paid for with cash? clothes

What's the last letter of your middle name? h

If your phone rang right now from a number you don't know, would you answer? Nope. I hardly answer for numbers I know

How long is your hair? middle of my back

What was your first pet's name and how did you pick that? Millie. I didn’t have anything to do with that, I was a baby.

Do you drink diet or regular soda? diet. I don’t like the taste of regular.

Have you ever been to Europe? No, but I’d love to go.

Do you worry about your own health? I try not to.

Who did you last make plans with, and what plans did you make? family. 

Can you smell anything right now? Not at the moment, no

How old were you when you got your first cell phone? I was 18 or 19

When was the last time you bought a pair of shoes? ooo boy, its been a minute. I need new shoes, and I also need to get rid of old shoes.

Do you like fruit and vegetable combo juices? not at all. maybe I need to revisit them.

Have you ever been on a spring break trip? Yep yep

Would you rather be warmer or colder right now? colder always.

How tall are your highest heels? I have like 4″ heels but I shouldn’t be wearing them anymore

What's your favourite flavour of frosting? omfg i want frosting so bad. any flavor

When did you wake up today? I fell asleep around 430am and then woke up around 545 my time. 

Do you change your appearance often? I mean, hair color yeah.

What colour are the street signs in your town/suburb? Green

How many people do you work with? --

What was the last thing you ate? piece of chocolate.

Do you have any plans for three hours in the future? either this or sleeping

Has anyone ever made a comment about your weight that offended or upset you? people have definitely made comments about my weight before. just leave me aloneeeeeeeeee.

---- i wish i really was the most important thing on the planet to you. :( maybe then you’d have picked me? </3

[gracie383]

Last Week

Wow!! Time really flew by! I can’t believe that this is the last week here in Spain! This will be my second-to-last blog post (the last one will be post-return). For me, the purpose of this blog post will be to make sure that I’ve covered all my bases and given all advice that I think is necessary for would-be travelers. In previous blogs, I’ve talked mostly about culture shock, transportation (both international and local), and my experience living with a host family. Therefore, this post will cover three main topics: 1) budgeting while traveling, 2) Spanish foods/drinks, and 3) balancing academics with tourism.  

1) Budgeting: Oh my G-d… the first advice I have about budgeting: actually have one!! I came to Spain thinking that I would just spend and spend, and if I go “over-budget,” I’ll just work extra hours when I come home to make up for it. Hahahaha no. I have spent so much money that I’ll probably only break even this summer. I’ve bought 25 souvenir gifts for family/friends and sent out 15 post-cards. I lost track of the clothes, souvenirs, foods, and drinks I bought for myself.

I ran the numbers this morning, and it’s atrocious. I have spent over $1000 USD in three weeks. This does not include train tickets or baggage fees. This was just money that I mindlessly spent on food, drinks, clothes, and gifts. Even worse, I don’t regret anything I’ve bought. I can list every material good I purchased, and none of it was overpriced- the one time I bought a cute dress for $30 USD, I spent two weeks mulling it over before buying it.

If you are traveling on a budget, you actually have to budget. Buying a $3 gelato doesn’t sound like much, but if you buy one every day for a month, that’s $90. If you send 15 postcards, and don’t consider the cost of postage ($8 for 5), then you wind up spending $40 on nothing but paper. An $8 mojito every Friday/Saturday night for four weeks adds up to $70. So to recap, indulging in gelato, postcards, and mojitos costs $200. It isn’t hard to see how I spent $1000.

I recommend downloading a wallet app to keep track of everything you spend. I have my bank text me every time I make a purchase, but it’s not like I frequently scroll through my texts to keep track of everything. Plan to spend 2x as much as you think and download a wallet app.

2) Spanish foods/drinks: I did not do very much research on Spanish food before I came here. Like most other people on the trip, I assumed it was all paella, churros, and sangria. It’s so much more than that.

Spanish food is very different from American food- there’s much less spice/sauce and more variety in the actual foodstuffs. For example, a salad in America usually consists of lettuce, croutons, cheese, and a heaping of fatty dressing. Meanwhile, a Spanish salad will have lettuce, tomatoes, hard-boiled egg, onions, and maybe a sprinkling of olive oil. Since the vegetables are fresh from the market, it tastes delicious even without dressing. I’ve never liked plain salad before coming here, but I get it now.

Another thing that’s very unique about Spanish food is that there’s practically no spice (as in burn-in-your-mouth spicy). I actually started to have some minor stomach problems around week two- I was so used to my diet of peppers, hot sauce, and curry that I was struggling in a country where pepper (as in salt and pepper) is considered spicy. I asked my host mom for advice, and she bought a bottle of hot sauce at the market. It was very clearly “hot sauce” since it was labeled pica pica and had two peppers on the label… but it was easily the mildest hot sauce I’ve ever had in my life. My mouth didn’t burn up at all and I used 1/4 of the bottle. I’m not complaining, though- my stomach problems stopped almost immediately, so I assume the hot sauce really did contain hot peppers.

For the rest of Spanish food, there’s honestly too much to go into to write about it in this blog. There’s 2000 years of culture in this food and it’s all unique to Spain. I’ll just list them here, and if you’re interested, you can do some research yourself: Paella Valenciana - Gazpacho - Patatas bravas - Tortilla Española - Jamón - Croquetas - Albondigas - Churros - Arroz con huevo - Empanadas de Atún - Gelato - Crema de Zucchini - Tostadas.

Spanish drinks are relatively quick to describe. Juice is fresh-squeezed (especially orange juice) and rarely processed. Coffee is called “café” and is made torrefacto-style rather than natural. Tea is not super popular here, but it’s still very easy to find. In restaurants, water is given in bottles and charged for, so you have to ask for “agua grifo” to get free water. But since restaurants make their profit from drinks (food is cheap here), it’s polite to get a drink. Some popular drinks here are cerveza, tinto de verano, and sangria. If you’re like me and semi-addicted to energy drinks like RedBull and Monster, you can find them here at most corner-marts, although they’re not all that popular. I recommend trying the “Burn” energy drink- they’re unique to Europe and taste like a sweet Monster.

3) Balancing academics with tourism: … Just do it. Don’t daydream- pay attention in class. Don’t procrastinate- do homework immediately. Don’t wait until the night before the test to study- review class materials daily. If you succeed in schools in America, you will succeed in schools while studying abroad. If you don’t, you won’t. It’s that simple.

I thought the “language barrier” would be more complicated, but if you’re studying abroad, it’s likely that you already comprehend more of the language then you think you do. I recommend watching some Spanish movies and tv shows before leaving so you get used to listening to people talk in Spanish, but that’s all the prep you really need to do before stepping foot in a classroom.

As for “balancing” between academics and tourism, it hasn’t been a problem. Most of my afternoons were “free time” which I could use for studying. Weekend trips were fun and exciting, but they usually involved a 2-3 hour bus ride. I get motion sickness, so I couldn’t do anything but listen to audiobooks and stare straight ahead, but quite a few people did homework on the bus. I’m pretty sure I’m going to end the semester with an A, but I still had time to go to Madrid, Sevilla, El Puerto de Santa Maria, Granada, Tarifa, Bolonia, Vejer de la Frontera, and Caminito del Rey. Some girls even made time for Rota and Cordoba.

These weekend trips were truly unforgettable. I took pictures, bought souvenirs, smiled a lot, laughed like crazy, and had a wonderful time. I saw Guernica, El Catedral de Sevilla, a winery, and the Alhambra. I swam in the Mediterranean Sea, climbed a mountain, and walked through Roman ruins. I learned how to surf, cook paella, and dance salsa. And I did all of this while working hard in my classes.

Since this is my last week here, I’ll end with some final thoughts. Writing about everything I’ve done in Spain has helped me to remember how much I truly love this country. I’ve written at length about my homesickness and culture shock, but at the end of the day, I really did have an amazing time.

I plan to incorporate more Spanish food into my diet back home, and I want to travel more when I have the time/resources to do so. My Spanish speaking skills have improved, and I feel like I have a broader perspective on the world.

Honestly, I’m not ready to leave yet. There’s still so much that I haven’t seen and experienced yet. I want to go flamenco dancing, explore Barcelona, meet a cute Spanish boy, and finally drink a cubalibre (hopefully not all at the same time, but actually these could all be at the same time lol).

This is what I will do when I come back to Spain. I’m looking forward to returning to America, because I miss my family, but I know I will return here someday. :)

[kellexplainsitall]

Monday: 8 whatever miles

Tuesday: 8 easy miles in the snow

Wednesday: 8 miles @ 7:27 pace (2x 4-mile progression)

Thursday: 70 spin

Friday: 8 easy with Rebuck

Saturday: 12 @ 7:44

Sunday: 10 easy

It was a pretty good week of running. There is something wrong with my Garmin, where it will just suddenly give me a really fast mile, skipping ahead. It's been frustrating but after a bunch of back-and-forth, they are sending me a new one. Tuesday's run was treacherous, it was snowing, the sidewalks and streets were a mess, people were beeping at me, I was really stressed out. Wednesday's run was absolutely glorious. I had slept so wonderfully back home the night before and I knew from the first few steps it was going to be a good run. That's the fastest I have run this loop, so I was really pleased, especially with a 6:34 last mile!

Saturday's run was really good, we finished so strong and we only had one 30-second stop. I am so pleased with 12 miles averaging marathon pace feeling comfortable.

It was really good to come home and be back in our routine. I miss it when I am not here. I had a really busy week at work, some days I just feel like it's crushing me. All of the meetings are just so time-consuming and hard to get stuff done. But we had a three-day weekend and it was really, really nice. Jenny and I took the kiddos (and Miles) for a walk yesterday afternoon. Tim and I laid in bed for an hour reading our books during Keegan's afternoon nap, which was so lovely.

Earlier in the week, Keegan had a fever. I felt really bad for him, it was obvious he didn't feel well, all he wanted to do was cuddle and his temperature was 102. Thankfully, it cleared within 24 hours. It's hard when they are sick.

I finished reading Just Like You. It was only OK, which was disappointing because I used to love Nick Hornby. I am currently in the midst of The Survivors, which is a quick, enjoyable thriller. Some weeks, I fly through books, and others I just don't have the time.

I did make time to watch the Britney Spears documentary during one of Keegan's nap and I was left really underwhelmed. I don't feel like I learned anything I hadn't known before and I am not a diehard fan. I did add some of her tunes to my running mix though.

We are working on solids with Keegan, that is one area where he struggles - both feeding himself and the texture of solids. Miles enjoys it though, as he gets all the dropped bits.

Today is kind of a hard day - Keegan has been really fussy, my back is aching from carrying him around and I have a headache from trying to do too much. But some days are really good. I hate wishing my workweeks away, but it's just so much easier when I don't have to try to work and juggle him.