#i watched fleabag for the first time
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screaming & sobbing into my pillow rn
#i watched fleabag for the first time#and i know what youre thinking#alli its been literal years how have you gone so long without watching it#I DONT KNOW OK#i live under a rock#and i just so happen to like it#but this show#...i dont like the way its made me feel#and yet i wish it was longer#idk what to do with myself now#i think im going to go lay in a dark room#listen to frank ocean#and cry#thank you for your time#alli talks
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Things I Loved About Fleabag (2016):
The careful balance of spiralling and sincerity that keeps you rooting for resolution and relief, despite the show intentionally framing itself around grief
The way that it is clear based on the way that they talk about her that Fleabag is a great deal like her mother (her off-colour jokes, her charisma, even hints of difficult friendships through the Godmother) but they don't have anyone make that comparison until the last episode of S2, with, "You are the way you are because of [your mother]" and the look of surprise on Fleabag's face when she hears it
"Don't make me an optimist; you will ruin my life," being such a telling line, because as you fall in love with the Priest, and Fleabag, you want to believe that things will work themselves out
The love in Claire's line to Fleabag, "The only person I'd run through an airport for is you," and the delightful contrary optimism of her deciding to go to the airport anyway
The revelation that Boo had offered to take Fleabag's love for her mother, intertwining both losses
The way that the Priest not only breaks through the carefully constructed narrative relationship that Fleabag has with the viewer, but also himself directly looks toward the audience on a separate beat as he tries to understand her more ("You don't like answering questions, do you?")
The entire sequence of the last few scenes, "Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope," to "I love you." "It'll pass," to Fleabag walking around with a statue that is, in some ways now, a physical representation of the love she is carrying around. Because while the show is about grief, and love, it doesn't feel like it is asking you to overcome those things, but to learn to live with them while moving forward
#ayesha says things#fleabag#hot priest#priestbag#claire fleabag#fleabag series#television#more thoughts in tags#i'm glad i stuck it out bc the first few eps i was like 'i don't know if this is for me' and then as it continued i was like 'OH.'#i love how s1 feels like a complete story. and then s1-s2 feels like a more complete story#and i adore how you can see the love in its writing. it's like watching tgp. it feels intentional and sincere and a bit clever#also not to undercut the sincerity of my feelings for this show#but i wasn't expecting to find andrew scott's hot priest SO HOT. they really did something there. every time he was on screen i was like#I Am Looking đđđ#alright 2010 sherIock fans. u win this round
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Game: Add 10 gifs from your favorite shows and tag 10 people
Tagged by @almightaylor, thank you dear đâ¨
Mr Robot
2. The White Lotus
3. Trust fx
4. Sense 8
5. Fleabag
6. The Good Place
7. Mad Men
8. Generation 56K
8. Downton Abbey
9. We are Lady Parts
10. Brooklyn 99
tagging @smute @elglin @schimmelspore @mylucayathoughts @mossy-fae @bambi-nicky @beepbeepsan @wtfuckevenknows @moripartylove @accordinglyskeptical but absolutely zero pressure, as always, babes đ
#tag game#tagging game#ten fav shows#took me only an hour to come up with ten#bc i got distracted by the excellency that is my own fucking blog lol#(on the search for. any shows. i might ever have seen...)#i say things here#highly recommend all of these shows!#but generation 56K is a bit of an underdog <3 give it a chance if youre into romance <3#mr robot#the white lotus#trust fx#sense 8#fleabag#the good place#mad men#generation 56K#downton abbey#we are lady parts#brooklyn 99#OH AND OF COURSE ALSO ALWAYS PLEASE PLEASE WATCH MY BELOVED TRUST FX#wish i could watch it for the first time again
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in fleabag the audience being a replacement for boo... & its a one sided relationship just like fleabag & boo's friendship after boo dies........ the priest being the only one who notices these looks i.e. only other person besides boo & the audience who truly sees fleabag, but they can't choose each other because that would ruin all the emotional & spiritual progress they have worked for. By saying goodbye to the priest, the audience, and by extension Boo, Fleabag is giving up any chance she has at being understood by someone who is truly cut from the same cloth. yet this is her only path towards peace. im gonna be sick
#Dont even get me started on her mother#This is probably a situation where everyone who watched the show when it was airing already connected these dots#but im new here so i get to discover all this for the first time!#and let me tell you its fucking miserable#fleabag
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ever since i moved to the uk every time i pass by a boots pharmacy there's fleabag's voice in my head saying "boots. it's lovely there this time of year" when clair asks her where she's been for the last 6 months they haven't seen each other
#note: i haven't watched fleabag in almost a year#another note: boots does not exist in my country#so this is the automatic response my brain gave to seeing the shop for the first time#i'm choosing to interpret it as i need to watch fleabag asap
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i canât help thinking that fleabag wouldâve had a happier ending if sheâd made out with the corporate lesbian instead of the fucked up priest
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Top 5 TV shows
I'm going with current shows/shows that stuck with me from the last year or so (and the ones I would recommend to anyone who asked me right now). An all-time list is Too Difficult:
The Other Two
Ted Lasso
Severance
Bad Sisters
Mum (or Starstruck season 1)
#if I had watched Fleabag for the first time in the last year or so then Fleabag season 2 would take that 5th spot#anon#ask#thank you!!
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just finished lucifer, now all shows i started watching (minus she hulk but fuck that) are finished omg #productivity
#txt#polls#i hate hate HATE your time traveling plot today. your plot could have enhanced your show even more to match the beautiful show that you had#on#i just hate time traveling plots it's dumb and makes no sense he could easily have been there but who i to judge (me. i love judging)#i literally started that show when it first came out but then stopped in the middle of season 5 due to lack of time#and now FINALLY caught up it's a good show#anyway some of these shows have been on my list for YEARS#and some even longer and then i took them off and then i put them on again just recently bc of the comeback of my sherlock addiction#even if there is no actual relation whatsoever except one video on youtube going ''this is john and sherlock in old''#and me not being subtle at all and putting it back on the list#also obv fleabag bc andrew scott and ngl i did watch the office (uk) a while back even tho i had that crossed off my list as well#praying no one reads the tags but to the one person who does: this stays between us#saskia talks#not sh#also i'm not continuing she hulk bc i'm watching it with a friend i'd been done with it by now ngl#but this way i dont have to suffer alone#disney plus marvel shows huh...... Bad#well tbf marvel bad lbr#GOT WORSE ONCE THEY INTRODUCED TIME TRAVELING JUST SAYINGGG
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also phoebe waller-bridge can kiss me on the mouth anytime sheâd like
#fleabag#phoebe waller bridge#just watched it for the first time#whole first season yesterday#whole seceond tonight#i am having FEELINGS#those feelings are at least a little bit damn this is the thing i wish i'd written#but yeah
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watched all of fleabag again, this time with me mum
#i think she enjoyed it#tho she was sad about the ending ofc#everyoneâs first experience is some level of sadness over the ending#my first time thru i sobbed all night#i was not expecting them to not get together yknow#but itâs so significant to the rest of the story yknow#i think if fleabag and the priest ended up together it wouldnât be right#the whole series fleabag is running from love and finding any reason to pretend she doesnât care#which is why every moment she is greeted with some form of love she lashes out at it#she needs to come to love the priest and let him go in order to realize that love is cyclical. you will love and lose and grieve#and her being able to finally tell someone she loves them is so important to her growth as a person#but this isnât a lesson you learn on the first watch thru. nor the second and maybe not even the third.#i think thatâs also some of the blessing of it being a short series#you have time to go thru it again and again to learn every little aspect#this is like my fifth time thru and iâm still noticing little things iâve never noticed before#like fleabag kissing elaine on the lips at the wedding!! so funny!#i hope that despite the sadness my mom comes to watch it again down the line
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father charlie mayhew x undercover detective fem! reader/that one fleabag scene
5k words (i went crazy with this one)
oh boy where do i begin
TAGS: siren reader!, AFAB reader, religious themes, nonreligious reader, confession booth is sexy, oraI male receiving, big d!ck charlie, dubious consent, p in v, no protection, breeding cuz duh itâs me, blood k!nk (if u squint)
after lois was nearly detained for being belligerently drunk at work, the FBI called you in. not to work alongside her no, to survey and investigate the community. the crimes surrounded her. you became loisâs daughterâs âfriendâ living with her and hanging around whenever you could. fortunately for both of you, lois did actually like your company and so did her daughter.
with some miracle you became a part of her everyday life, even tagging along when she met sister megan once. the nun was peculiar and although you werenât nearly as trusting as lois you liked her enough to fake your way into an unlikely friendship. you the hard on her luck âcollege studentâ and her the eccentric murder-obsessed nun. it worked well enough for a cover story and she seemed to buy it. given your experience you knew enough about murderers to get along with her, pretending to share her passion for serial killers and the like. she had mentioned visiting the diner over text one day, you thought it a great opportunity to get out and people watch but what you didnât expect was that she had company.
you knew megan was unconventional to say the least but you didnât expect her to be on a date with, the looks of it, a lady killer. the closer you got the more you had to mask your reaction, she was with the new priest. you just didnât expect him to be near your age and straight out of a GQ magazine. you willed a smile to your lips as you sauntered to the side of her booth, throwing an around the back of her seat and leaning down. megan tore her eyes away from the priest, meeting yours after what felt like minutes. you didnât blame her, you were having a hard time ignoring him as well. âmegan! hey i hope i'm not interrupting.â you finally looked pointedly towards him, your smile withering as you met his chocolate eyes. you hadnât seen eyes so dark in a while.
âdid something happen?â she assumed you had an update, it wouldnât be the first time since you lived so close to lois. you sometimes told her details to gain her trust, of course clearing it with lois first. you pretended you did, pretended whatever you had to say was not for the eyes of a very curious priest. his eyes hadnât left you since you interrupted.
âno, uh we can talk later.â you motioned slightly towards him and megan realized sheâd never made introductions. she broke eye contact turning towards the priest, finding him already looking at you, well more so the small sliver of skin your crop top displayed above your skirt from the way you stretched over her booth. she knew father mayhew was less traditional but she didnât expect this.
âoh y/n this is father mayhew.â you looked at him waiting a beat before you smiled brighter than before, he was intrigued to say the least. you were confusing him, sending signals he couldnât quite decipher. maybe he wasnât your type because you seemed wholly unaffected by him. that or you were just good at hiding it.
ânice to meet you mr.mayhew.â there was no way you were calling him father, you werenât religious much less catholic.
âfather-â megan started to correct you and you cocked your head to the side, ready to remind her you didnât believe in organized religion.
âcharlie is fine, please y/n, itâs nice to meet you.â he cut in before you two began your conversation, seeing the way your eyes narrowed at the correction. your eyes were back on him as soon as he said your name, masterfully hiding how your stomach flipped at it coming from his lips. it didnât matter to him that you werenât religious, hell it might be for the best if you werenât. he would rather never see you or your red heels ever again.
âcharlie, iâll leave you two to it.â you attributed the startling attraction you felt to the taboo of it all. a priest, sinfully handsome, and from the look of his shoulders and arms his body was even more unholy. your glances had been brief but they were enough to spike your curiosity.
âplease join us, iâd be interested to hear whatever you were about to share.â there was that egotistical expression on his face that made you think he didnât usually get no from women.
âoh i donât know itâs kind of a secret. can you keep a secret charlie?â you were pulling out all the stops, straightening your posture, batting your eyelids, even cocking your head to the side and if megan wasnât so transfixed by his reaction she wouldâve taken notes. he was completely drawn into you, reminding himself to blink and respond when you a smile twitched at the corner of your lips when you were met with silence. you knew you had him and he knew too.
âletâs pretend this is confession.â he drew his arms out, leaning back against the booth and you took the challenge, sitting next to megan before she could try to leave you two alone. the scent of your perfume hit him as you sat down, sensual and distinct. heâd remember it for days.
âsure confession, iâve always liked the notion. thereâs something so sexy about the whole thing donât you think megan?â charlie watched you try to shift the subject away from whatever you came to say. he wasnât so naive. however one thing became clear, you didnât trust him.
âoh geez, i guess it is sexy. youâre dishing out your deepest darkest secrets in a small box where you canât see the other person.â he could see the way your eyes softened around the edges when you looked at megan. and the way they changed when you looked back towards him. he hadnât felt so wholly consumed by someone. whatever trap you had laid out, he was ensnared.
âiâve always wondered who a priest confesses to?â
âGod.â his eyebrow cocked at the question, eyes lighting up in amusement and you bashfully nodded your head.
âah right.â megan laughed at your response, finding the exchange a bit trivial. she was itching to hear the new information.
âiâm gonna head back to the church, canât exactly leave it unattended this long. sister it was great to speak with you and again nice to meet you y/n.â you waved him a goodbye as he got up and walked past you both, your eyes never leaving him until you couldnât crane your neck much further. megan shook off the worries that were beginning to surface and instead pestered you to spill your guts. you did as soon as the dinerâs bell rang to signal the door closing. you told her what you had rehearsed all the while being haunted by the ghost of father mayhewâs appearance.
the murders continued and you spent late nights with lois spinning every possible theory. you couldnât scratch the itch that bothered you about megan and charlie. instead of asking megan to meet you, you decided to visit the father himself. although you would play it off as a last minute plan you carefully dressed for the occasion, a baby pink cropped cardigan covered your lacy tank top fit with high waisted flare jeans that hugged your curves just right. it looked casual and your skin was indeed covered enough for church but if you stretched or raised your arms even slightly your skin would show and you knew his eyes would find their way there just like before. you wore baby pink platform heels to match even, your hair up in a seemingly effortless updo that actually took you thirty minutes to perfect. and to top it all off you made sure to smell downright sinful and gloss your lips to the heavens.
he didnât stand a chance.
you were grateful to find the church empty save the priest in question sitting in the pews reading what you assumed was the bible. the click of your heels drew his gaze over his shoulder, he would lose this battle without a doubt in his mind. he only hoped god would forgive him after. he rose to stand, abandoning the bible with ease and a smile crept to your lips as he met you in the walkway between the pews.
ây/n, what a surprise i thought you werenât religious.â he didnât think heâd see you again, not like this at least. maybe only in his dreams or when the desire deep inside him took over.
âoh iâm not, just curious.â you cocked your head to the side and charlie had a sneaking suspicion you got whatever you wanted when you did that. he wasnât a stranger to using his looks to get things handed to him, he just didnât expect to be so easily swayed by it himself.
âanything i can help you with?â as much as he would have liked to continue this staring contest he had an idea you were here on a mission. you had unsuccessfully hidden how taken you were with him. now standing at his full height you were finding it hard to disguise your attraction. he was tall, much taller than you had figured and even in your heels you came up to his shoulder. his body was crafted for sports, for modeling, for anything but the cloth. the sheer strength he wielded was going to waste, you wondered why he needed it all.
âyou and sister megan are so wholly devoted to all this. iâve never had that, something soâŚguiding.â he invited you to sit next to where he was situated before, you did with ease crossing your legs and sitting closer than you should be.
âyour morals surely come from somewhere.â
âmy parents, they werenât religious, at least not catholic. all these murders, it just made me wonder.â you spoke in hushed whispers, the church was eerily quiet, so starkly different from the chaos of loisâs home.
âyouâre scared, itâs reasonable to be. faith can give you strength but it canât fix everything.â his head turned down towards you, onyx eyes sucking you in, you were captivated.
âhey i thought i was the atheist here.â you bumped your shoulder against his or really your shoulder against the muscle of his arms. he sucked in a breath, finding himself thinking less of religion the more he looked into your eyes. charlie drew the bible in front of him, turning the page to where he knew heâd find distraction.
âIsaiah 41:13 God promises to comfort and help those who are worried, and to take their hand and guide them through difficult times.â he turned the page to continue, not licking his finger in time and cutting his finger on the paper. it had never happened before and he didnât even notice it until you listened on, eyes naturally drawn to his large veiny hands and then the pearl of blood that threatened to drop on the spotless floor.
âoh charlie,â you took his right hand in both of yours, thoroughly stopping his reading. you did the first thing you could think of, not wanting the blood to spill anywhere, bringing it to your lips and licking it off, meeting his gaze bashfully. the familiar taste of salty iron lined your teeth. the wet warm lap of your tongue against the pad of his finger combined with the sheen of your lips and your eye contact made charlie suddenly very aware of his corporeal form, all the rest of his blood rushing south. you did it so casually, as if consuming his blood was as natural as wine. the quiet vulnerability making him twitch in his pants. he thanked god it wasnât well lit in the church or the bulge in his black slacks would be apparent. fortunately for him you were also too embarrassed to notice.
âs-sorry i just didnât want it to spill.â you dropped his hand quickly, ignoring the warmth between your legs and opting to look very intently at the first button of his dress shirt. he needed to diffuse the situation before he coaxed you upstairs and smudged your damned lip gloss.
âitâs alright, iâm gonna grab a bandaid.â
âokay iâll be hiding in the confession box trying not to burst into flames.â he laughed at your admission, he hadnât expected you to be so embarrassed. it was probably the hottest thing heâd experienced and he thought you would own it, own that you were unabashedly seducing him. perhaps heâd misjudged your intentions all along. he came back to empty pews and he scoffed at the realization you were actually in the booth.
âwhat do you wish to confess?â he assumed the position, taking it as seriously as he could muster. part of him was wishing you would just tell him something substantial about yourself, he didnât even know what you did for a living.
âhow much time do you have?â charlie huffed a laugh at your words and you liked his laugh, it was airier and lighter than you expected. âi suppose ill start with the most recent sin, i embarrassed myself in front of a priest. surely thatâs against some rule.â
ânot entirely, embarrassment isnât a sin.â he crossed his arms across his chest, endeared by your admission.
âright, what about lust?â he closed his eyes, heâd nearly gone half-soft but here you were painting deadly images in his mind. he felt like a teenage boy, rock hard and trying to will it down.
âlust, one of the seven deadly sins, but it can be forgiven. that is if you donât act on it.â
âah iâve never been good at that part.â
âi can pray for you, kneel with me.â you did as he said, finding it hard to deny him of anything when his voice was so deep and commanding through the grated screen. you waited a beat and then another, breathing out in and out. you wondered if he was trying to remember a prayer or you were too far gone for one that readily came to mind. instead you heard him grumble under his breath, the church far too quiet for it to go unnoticed.
âfuck it.â you blinked your eyes in surprise, the wood digging into your knees as you waited another beat and the curtain to your side was drawn open and charlie stood in front of you. the sight of you kneeling nearly made him pass out, he swore heâd never been so hard in his life.
âtell me no.â his large hand, now with a bandage on one finger, slid to the side of your face, tilting your face up and up until your neck craned to meet his as he stepped closer. the heat of his body radiated against you. his thumb pushed at the plush of your bottom lip, the lip gloss was as sticky as he imagined, drawing your mouth open. your eyelashes fluttered at the gentle pressure, the coaxing, the slow sensuality of it all. you felt as if you would actually burst into flames, you wished you had worn a skirt. the denim of your jeans felt like hot coals against your skin, your underwear sticky with need. he could see the desire dripping from your gaze, but he needed to be sure.
âi canât.â you whispered, like the obedient girl you were. and that was enough for him, he shoved the thumb fully between your lips, you hummed at the intrusion. the warm wet heat of your mouth made him whimper as you swirled around the finger sucking it like you wanted so desperately to do something else. your gaze finally moved from his eyes down the length of his body to his slacks, you raised up on your knees and you were eye level with his bulge. even in the dim light you could tell he was massive and your jaw would be sore tomorrow.
âfather let me help you, please?â he huffed a breath at the name, there was no going back now though, he knew what he was doing making you kneel. he nodded at your request, removing his hand from your face so you could do as you pleased. the urgency in your motions made him scoff as you practically tore his zipper down and cupped his bulge. you fidgeted to get his length through and when you did you grinned at the sight. the shadow of his length covered your face and while you were intimidated and failing to hide it you still licked tentatively at the furious red tip.
âgood girl.â he smiled down at you and you squeezed your thighs at his words, cleaning up all the precum along his slit. he was so big you didnât think youâd get him even halfway down your throat, but you were never a quitter. your hand circled his base, one cupping his heavy balls as you licked along his shaft, veins protruding angrily and you kissed the tip one more time before flattening your tongue against the bottom of him, stretching your mouth as wide as you could to accommodate his girth. it was a struggle to attempt and you groaned at how hard it was. he chuckled at your frustration, he couldnât deny how hot the whole scene was. he placed a hand on your head, guiding you down his length and you moaned at the feeling, shivering from how badly you needed him. you wished for some sense of relief and so you took one hand off his balls and tried to touch yourself. it was no use because charlie saw you, catching your wrist. he was gentle until then, forcing you down his length and you gagged. he was so heavy and thick you felt like you couldnât breathe. the sensation made you nearly lightheaded and he finally released his grip letting you relax and slink back. you got into a comfortable rhythm then, pumping the length you couldnât reach and swirling your tongue along his veins while moving up and down his length. he could tell he was close from the small groans and whimpers you could hear, his grip on your wrist tightening until he let go completely and pulled you off him. he tapped his cock against your tongue, debating if he should finish this now or give in fully to what he needed.
âtell me about your sin.â your eyes glazed over as he held his cock away from your mouth, letting you speak but making you mourn the heavy feeling. it took you a few seconds to remember what he was talking about.
âiâve touched myself thinking about this man, but heâs devoted to someone else, to god. it never feels as good as i know he can make me feel.â your gaze traveling from his cock to his eyes, he jaw clenched as he looked away before leaning down and lifting you effortlessly out of the booth and into his hold. your legs looped around his waist and your arms around his neck. he was strong and solid against you, and you whined at the slightest hint of friction of your core bumping his belt buckle.
âwe can attone later.â itâs all he says as heâs walking purposefully up the stairs and down a hallway, the walk is long or at least it feels that way when youâre nearly drunk from desire.
your back hits something soft, you realize itâs his bed as heâs climbing over you. you sit up, unbuttoning his shirt while heâs doing the same to your pesky jeans. his shirt is unbuttoned before heâs pulling them off you and you marvel at the sculpted muscles of his body. you're not sure if youâre drooling but you could be. he doesnât bother to take your heels off, opting for your cardigan and crop top next. and you whine as you try to reach the buttons of his slacks, he tucked himself back in at some point and you donât like the insinuation. charlie canât help but laugh at you, maybe you werenât the femme fatale he thought you were. âpatience is a virtue.â heâs got you in your bra and panties splayed out under him and he relished in the sight of your lip gloss smudged. in the light of his room he could see all the sinful details of your body and he couldnât wait to wreck every part he hadnât touched yet. he kneels in front of you, shirt gone and his slacks unbuttoned, watching your chest rise and fall in anticipation as you maintain eye contact. he can tell youâre struggling to, the way your eyelids droop and narrow. when heâs finally bare in front of you, youâre looping your arms around his neck and pulling him down, finally kissing him and itâs as messy as you hoped for. all teeth and tongue, he bites your lip hard enough to draw blood and you groan into his mouth. heâs feral and you canât help but arch into him, the hard planes of his body pressing so deliciously against you, you silently wish you could grind against his abs for some kind of friction. charlie pins your wrists above you with one of his hands, the other deftly unclasping your bra, an action that speaks volumes of his experience.
he doesnât loosen his grip on your wrists even slightly, somehow in control despite the rabid look in his eyes, trailing his lips down your neck, biting and sucking likely leaving marks for tomorrow. you buck your hips into him, desperate for something, anything. heâs so hard against your core, sliding against your stomach. you canât imagine heâll fit, not with how far up your chest his length reaches. your thoughts are drawn back to the hot mouth thatâs latching to your nipple, bitting and sucking like itâs the last thing heâll do. charlie groans around your breast, massaging the other one with his hand rough palms creating a friction you try to get closer to. heâs slurping and biting so roughly youâre whining without realizing, tears pricking your eyes from the sharp pain. itâs so devastating you think it might be the way you want to go out.
and when you feel you might just come from his mouth on your breasts, heâs moving off you with a pop to his lips. itâs reminiscent of your actions downstairs and his cock twitches at the image. he leans back to take a look at his work releasing your wrists, bite marks and bruises littering your shaking chest and his lips curl in a smile. you think youâve never seen him genuinely happy until now. he stays out of your reach kneeling between your spread legs and you almost complain until heâs peeling your underwear off you, itâs sticky and you revel in the cool air finally grazing your heat. charlieâs eyes are inexplicably drawn to how youâre nearly dripping onto his sheets, the light illuminating how badly you needed him, and from the looks of it it was just as long as he did. you canât help the moan slip from your mouth when heâs biting his lips and spreading your folds to watch a fat wad of arousal drop down to your ass.
your pleasure ends when you see him leaning down for a taste, far too gone for any more foreplay. you need him and you need him now. youâre twitching when you slide your fingers into his hair, drawing your gaze to him. the hunger in his gaze doesnât dissolve but the black of his eyes seems to soften when he sees your wrecked expression.
âplease i need your cock, now please.â youâre begging and charlie canât say no to that. heâs been aching for what feels like forever. he coos at your request, wiping the tears you didnât even notice were falling and moves back on top of you, the satisfying weight against you calming whatever worries you had. but he doesnât give you what you want. his fingers, still spreading your folds dip into you, thereâs zero resistance from your sopping entrance, but the stretch makes your eyes roll back. âplease.â you donât want his fingers, you donât care if he splits you in half at this point.
ârelax baby,â heâs soothing you as best as he can when he just wants to sink into you. instead of focusing on where he can make you unravel, he scissors you open, getting impatient himself. you hum at the shift, bringing his lips to yours with a hand still threading through his hair. when he adds a third finger you groan at the stretch. âso tight darling, you wonât be able to take me.â heâs purring at you, teasing you. you canât string the words together to dissuade him. when heâs satisfied youâre stretched enough he pulls back, licking his fingers and groaning at the taste. devine, just like he expected.
despite your wishes heâs leaning back, tapping his angry cock head against your clit, and you realize his words may be true. your legs slide over his shoulders like they were made to be there and when you look down at your entrance, panic creeps in.
âi donât think it will fit.â he watches your eyes widen, your brows furrowed in genuine concern. itâs comical.
âwhere did my good girl go? you were just begging for it.â heâs teasing you, laughing at the way your wide eyes meet his. without you responding, he slips his head towards your entrance, catching on it and slipping away, fuck you were so tight. you whimpered at the feeling, trying to slink away from him but he tightens his hold on your hips. you realize, albeit far too late, your heels are still on and very much on his shoulders.
âit wonât fit.â youâre pleading with him, for what exactly youâre not sure. and then heâs leaning down, pressing the tops of your thighs back towards you, folding you in half, his lips not quite reaching yours.
âiâll make it fit.â without warning heâs nudging at your entrance again, bullying his way in and you whine and jostle at the feeling. itâs too big, the stretch too much and you feel tears prick your eyes. heâs tearing you open, ruining your for anyone else and you canât find it in you to care.
when the tip is finally in you breathe out in relief, thereâs still an ache between your legs and you know youâre dripping onto his sheets but you think the worst is over. you donât know youâre far from it. because while charlie is a man of faith, of perseverance and virtue he canât hold back from how addictive your pussy is. the tight hug of your cunt around his tip drives him to ease his full length into you without warning. you paw at his chest, eyes rolling back as he pushes his way fully in nestling against your cervix and curving inside you. making you gush out more liquid than you knew you had. in fact, itâs so much youâre not sure if youâre squirting or you just came. the pain and pleasure mix into one and you think scream his name. you swear you can feel him in your ribcage and you choke out a breath.
heâs barely holding himself still when his balls finally rest against you. your walls are molding to him, and he think he might have died and gone to heaven. âso fucking tight, you were made for me.â a deep groan leaves him before he can hold back and you whine at the sound, clenching down on him and making him only more painfully turned on. you can feeling him throbbing inside, carving you out, the veins of his cock pressed against.
when you begin to squirm under him, still not used to his size but not in pain, he starts moving. every time he moves out he feels he has to push back in, your poor abused cunt is gripping him so tight, he feels bad even pulling out. the burn becomes so intense and every time his tip bumps your cervix you twitch beneath him. he presses a sweet kiss to your ankle over the strap of your heels before pressing his hips down and reaching even deeper. you cry out his name at the change in position and then heâs drilling into you like he wants you to be ruined forever. you donât know where your orgasms start or end as he continuously fucks against your most sensitive spot, your mind numb from pleasure and the only word leaving your lips is his name and cries of pleasure.
heâs no better, he swears he might be addicted to you. the way you call out his name, the way you clench around him when he groans and how you seem to still get wetter from his thrusts. he hopes you donât blame him when he feels himself getting close already, from the look on your face he realizes you might not be able to think at all. his pace is cruel, driving you into the mattress and likely denting the wooden floor.
your mind is fractured into a million tiny pieces; the only thing you know is that you need him. and when heâs close heâs pressing into you like he wants to get you pregnant, heâs breeding you, making you his and you come again. thereâs no room for his cum inside you, so itâs leaking out the sides and he canât have that, not after how good youâve been, how well you take him, so heâs scooping it back up and fingering it inside you all the while pumping you full. you donât know when you started crying but you can taste the saltiness of your tears when you pull him down for a kiss, savoring in the drag of his tongue along your teeth and you suck on it slightly, still hungry. he wishes the moment could last forever, but begrudgingly he pulls out and swallows down your whimper. how could he ever begin to atone for this? he had a feeling he would be begging for forgiveness for the rest of his life, there was no way he could forget you.
#father charlie mayhew#father charlie x reader#father charlie smut#father charlie mayhew x reader#charlie mayhew x reader#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas alexander chavez smut#glossgojo#nicholas alexander chavez x reader
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random merlin episodes I wish we had:
a stuck in the same day over and over episode â where someone, obviously merlin, is somehow magically stuck living the same day again and again but only he knows that. we missed so many opportunities. so many magic reveals and so many different reactions to it, specially from arthur and perhaps the knights too.
a halloween special â with a much darker and scarier mood, with less comic relief and more horror. we have a few dark scenes along the show, a whole episode of it would be so cool
a merlin x doctor who crossover â I have this inside joke with a friend that the diamair (that alien looking creature that helps gwaine in the first two episodes of season five) was BBC's way of pushing doctor who into the show, and it would be so nice if it was true. it didn't even have to be a merlin episode, it could be a doctor who episode where the doctor and the companion (I don't remember exactly which ones would be, I guess the 11th?) get back to save the diamair and they help them find a better place to live. and then we see the doctor hiding away from gwaine and percy, and then merlin and arthur and morgana (and all the guards and all) until they can finally talk to the diamair alone. and along the episode we see the characters going as the episodes in merlin canonically did, but in the doctor's pov.
a breaking the fourth wall episode â fleabag style. maybe merlin is the only one who can break the fourth wall, but I like to imagine everyone can, but no one else knows that's a thing everyone could do it. I don't know how this would be explained in cannon, but it would be fun
a green knight episode â where we follow (merlin follows) gwaine in a cheaper version of the tale of the green knight where the writers would obviously time compress a whole year into a few days, give cheap and lazy explanations and the green knight would probably be some random morgana's ally but I would love it anyway
a knights episode â actually I would have loved a spinoff of the knights with two seasons minimum, but at least one whole episode following their pov would be so much fun. maybe something happens and now we watch each of them along their day in flashbacks or something like that, until said thing happens and they have to collect all the puzzle pieces and try to understand what is going on and what happened and why and how to solve it. bonus points if merlin solves it all off screen and they all think that they did it, so now they are all proud of themselves. merlin obviously lets them take the credit for it, but this time he doesn't feel bad about not getting the credit he's due for saving the day once again. he feels happy to see his friends all happy and proud.
an animated episode â I am a huge lover of animation and just thinking about all the characters in an animated style version of themselves makes my heart warm. I love it so much, it would have been soooooo fun and so cute. it could have been an special, didn't even have to be an actual episode. like a christmas special maybe? I don't celebrate christmas so I don't know what would happen, just that it would be animated.
one or some of the characters turn into children â I think it would so fun and so cute to have merlin, gwen, gaius and maybe leon taking care of baby/child arthur. bonus points if uther is still alive and they have to hide baby arthur from him. or worse, all the knights turn into different aged children, leon is a teenager, gwaine has around 11/12, elyan has 7 and percival has 2, and merlin is going insane trying to keep up with them at the same time he tries to solve this mess as soon as possible. I would love the absolute chaos.
a merlin's birthday episode â nothing bad happens, we just get to watch everyone doing their best to come up with a good gift for merlin. and he is so confused as to why everyone is acting so strange around him (but they think they're being stealth and doing a good job). in the end they get the date all wrong and merlin's birthday is like, in six months or something.
that's all I can think of right now, and I know most of them (maybe all of them) don't even make much sense and wouldn't be possible to make in canon, but hey I can dream.
if I ever think of something else I'll do a part 2
#this is so random i don't even know how to tag#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin bbc#the adventures of merlin#merlin au#maybe?#idk
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sing a song for you | tom blyth
summary: reader is on tour with hozier as his opening act and debuts a new song that tom helped write
an: yes this was because i am listening to hozier right now.
tom had taken some time off from doing interviews to finally attend one of your shows, well your opening act since you were on tour with one of your favorite artists, hozier. thankfully the show was near his brooklyn apartment so he didnât have to drive far. he messaged you a couple of times but he knew you wouldnât respond since you were busy preparing for the show.
when it was finally time to leave, tom made sure his apartment was locked and drove to the venue. as he parked his car, he quickly texted the cast group chat that he had arrived since rachel, josh and hunter were also attending. rachel texted back saying they were getting merch and that she had bought him one of your shirts.
before he could put his phone away, you called. âhey, i just arrived. rachel, josh and hunter are getting shirts.â he spoke into the phone.
âi couldâve given them free shirts. remind me to send them stuff later. sorry i didnât text back. i just had the best conversation with beth about fleabag.â beth was your best friend and also your guitarist.
âyou will take any opportunity to talk about fleabag and i love it.â tom smiled as he walked to the venue. he saw multiple people wearing homemade and official merchandise with your lyrics or logo and it made him happy.
âso i actually have a really important question.â you said.
âyes, love?â
âremember the song we made when you were filming billy the kid? i talked with the record label and itâs going on the next album,â you continue. âbut i want to sing it tonight and the band said it was okay. and i want to ask you permission if itâs okay for me to sing it.â
âlove, itâs your song. you donât have to ask.â tom chuckled.
âyeah, but this song is half you half me. youâre getting writing credits on album, not just the song, tom. you helped a lot.â you reply.
âso does this mean if you win a grammy for the album, i will too?â he teased. âsing our song, i would be honored to hear you sing our song for the first time.â
âi love you.â you said then hung up.
âhello all of you lovely people!â you spoke into the microphone. the crowd cheered, tom being one of the many people that yelled the loudest. âyouâve been such a great crowd that i thought it would be a good time to sing a song that has never been heard by anyone other than me and the love of my life. heâs here tonight by the way along with our friends.â
you could feel yourself blush as tom yelled âi love you!â
âi love you more,â you replied. âhe and i wrote this song in a day on the set of his show. thank you for being such a great crowd and i hope you all love this song as much as i loved writing it with my husband.â you smiled. you and tom would often call each other husband and wife even though you werenât legally married. it was just a habit.
âthatâs my wife!â tom yelled. rachel had gotten her phone out to record the performance and, of course, tomâs reaction.
watching the video that you sent me. the one where youâre showering with wet hair dripping
tom was amazed at your talent. he looked around the venue and saw how everyone was so focused on you. he then started to mumble the lyrics. he liked how you two were the only ones who knew the lyrics. it was your special moment. rachel had turned the camera from you to tom and noticed how in love tom looked. it was clear that you and tom were soulmates.
#tom blyth one shot#tom blyth fanfic#tom blyth imagine#tom blyth x reader#coriolanus snow#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#billy the kid#tom blyth#tom blyth fanfiction#singer!reader
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I Want To Fuck A Priest | Matt Murdock x AFAB!Reader
PART 6 of The Vault
See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!
Pairing: Matt Murdock x AFAB!Reader
Summary: You have a thing for the priest you met at a farmer's market. Thankfully, he has a thing for you, too.
Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), porn without much plot, Priest!Matt, blasphemy (!!!), church setting, improper use of a priest's collar, improper use of a confessional booth, improper use of the act of confession, praise, prayer, oral afab!receiving, slight Dom!Matt, Catholic guilt, Fleabag reference, seriously if you are religious or triggered by the improper use of religion DO NOT read this!
Word Count: 2.8k
A/n: This is for those who watched Fleabag and then saw all the 'Imagine Matt as a priest' and 'Charlie Cox once played a Spanish priest' posts and thought, "Same!" when Fleabag said, "I want to fuck a priest." I see you, and I feel you. I wrote this after re-watching Fleabag one night, but I added a little poetic twist while editing because before, it was just completely plotless oral sex. While that isn't bad, I needed to add some vibes. You're welcome.
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
The church bells ring as the clock strikes midnight. The night sky is void of dark clouds. In the darkness above the massive walls encasing the holy ground, the stars shine brighter than the city lights. New York City, the city that never sleeps, makes an exception for the house of God in the dead of the night, it seems.
Itâs beenâŚseveral years since my last confession.Â
The graveyard attached to the church looks threatening in its vacancy. Itâs void of human souls except for the dead ones buried there. A raven claps its wings in the distance, following the gush of wind that brushes through the trees.Â
The bell rings twelve times before it stops, but the echo bounces off the stone walls and shakes the stained-glass windows, which seems to drag on for an eternity.Â
The last time I confessed my sins was before my communion. I donât know if that makes me a bad Catholic, but lately, Iâve been having sinful thoughts, and I need to get them out of the way before I collapse under the weight of them.
You considered for the longest time whether or not you should come here. Faith has been your enemy for the longest time. You donât believe in the Catholic Church, and yet you have found your way here, in the middle of the night, when everyone should be asleep in their beds.Â
This isnât a normal night, by any means. You often lay awake at night and question your purpose in this life, but lately, youâve been feeling like youâre drowning. Sins are subjective, and you never paid much mind to the term until now.Â
The thoughts you find yourself having late at night when youâre awake and lonely are far from holy. They arenât ideal. They make you wonder just why you are thinking this way now.
But no man has ever been like him. And the worst part about it is that wanting him alone is an unholy train of thought you should have never submitted to.Â
You tried ignoring it, carrying it all by yourself, and trying to heal whatever complex you may have that could have led to this obsession in the first place, but your life has been a mess for long enough that it doesnât even surprise you anymore, and no matter what you tried to do, you couldnât stop fantasizing about him.
He is the reason you came to church tonight to confess your sins. But youâre not here to find your way. Youâre not here to ask for guidance from God. You told yourself that the unholiness of your thoughts needs to be cured and that is why you came hereâto make this situation better for yourselfâbut the thought is ancient; itâs the twenty-first century and youâre the kind of person who knows exactly what they want and how to get it. The truth is, youâre here to get what you want, even if it will land you in the pits of hell for all eternity. And even if it kills you.
âYou donât do this kind of thing often, do you?â the low voice asks from the other side of the confessional booth.
You shake your head. âNot at all, Father. When I went to Sunday Mass this weekend, it was my first time in a church in a very long time,â you admit to him, âand this is my first confession since I was a child. IâŚIâm not really a devoted Catholic, you understand. Iâm merely struggling right now, and IâŚI am in desperate need of guidance.â
Your lip quivers. Your voice resembles a tidal wave that comes and goes as nature pleases.
He canât see you. Itâs not the curtain that is separating you and is starting to feel like worlds apartâhe canât see you. He can only hear and smell you, and that alone makes your thighs clench with need.Â
Should you be doing this in a church? Should you fantasize about a man of God and want to claim him, coming to his sanctuary to tell him the truth and mess with his head? You know that itâs wrong, but the wrong thing often feels too right to stop.Â
When you met him at the farmerâs market the other day, he was so endlessly kind to everyone, including yourself. He invited you to Sunday mass, and you went. You went on a walk with him afterward, and there seemed to be something there, but he couldnât act on it because he is who he is and what he is. He made a vow. He canât have you, no matter how badly he wants to, and one look into his unfocused hazel eyes when he took off those red glasses he always wears told you that he does want you. It led to another sleepless night among many, and now youâre here.
Youâre so utterly selfish, but God, you canât stop it. When you want something, you would do anything to get it. He makes you feel things you never felt before. Itâs terrifying, but you have to allow yourself to jump into unknown waters if you want to learn how to swim.
He clears his throat, and you can hear the chair creak under his weight as he shifts. Is it possible that youâre doing the same to him that he is doing to you?
âI want to start by saying that youâre really brave,â he says. The sound of his voice is enough to make you shiver. âBut God offers people guidance in a symbolic sense. I can take your confession, tell you how to repent for your sins, but I canât tell you what to do.â
You sigh. âI wish you would though.â
A chuckle passes his lips. âWhy donât you start by telling me whatâs weighing you down, sweetheart, and we will go from there?â
Sweetheart.Â
Yes, you think, this is your one-way ticket to hell.Â
âIâve been having thoughts,â you confess.
âThoughts?â he asks.
âYes. Unholy thoughts.â Your breath comes in weak puffs of air. The booth seems to cave in on you. You wish he would step out of his booth into yours and stuff his cock into your mouth. For him, you would shut up. You would do whatever he tells you to do, and you would do so gladly.
Fuck. You want to fuck a priest.Â
But lucky for you, Father Matthew wants to fuck you too. Heâs here, at midnight, because you were lost and he was still thereâhe told you he spends his nights at church sometimes because the city gets too loud for him. You couldnât go anywhere else because any place where he isnât doesnât seem worth visiting.
Matt sucks in a sharp breath. You imagine him swallowing, his white collar constricting his labored airflow. You imagine him pulling at it to free himself, but he canât. Those sinfully thick fingers of his would feel even better on your skin.Â
âUnholy thoughts,â Father Matthew asks, âabout whom, sweetheart?â
Heâs pushing your buttons with that nickname. Itâs so not professional. The lines are starting to blur.
âA man,â you tell him.Â
âA man?â
âA man of God.â
The confession causes a bout of silence. You could have heard a hairpin drop.Â
His chair creaks again, and his voice reminds you of an animalistic growl right before an apex predator attacks its prey. âAnd what unholy thoughts have you been having about this man of God?â he inquires.
Your inner walls clench around thin air. Sweat drips down your temples, and the arousal soaks your underwear. Your nipples strain against your shirt. If you grip the seat any harder, you will soon find wooden chips under your nails.
You lick your lips. âIâve been thinking about him touching me,â you whisper. âAnd I want to touch him.â
âWhere?â
âEverywhere.â
âAnd in your thoughts, does he satisfy you?â
Your answer comes promptly, âAlways.â
There is not a scenario in which Father Matthew could possibly leave you unsatisfied.Â
The chair creaks again. Something in the air shifts.Â
Your voice is breathless and needy, and so fucking desperate when you speak into the silence, âJust tell me what to do, Father.â
âOkay,â he says. His leather shoes drag across the floor of the booth and toward the curtain that marks the exit of his side. The next word out of his mouth knocks all the air out of your lungs, âKneel.â
You donât even have time to question his request. Within seconds, the curtain through which youâve stepped into the confessional booth is torn to the side, and there he is, in all of his glory, right in front of you, and his thick cock is straining against his black slacks.
You pinch yourself, but youâre not dreaming. This is real. This is what you wanted, and you werenât imagining the mutual attraction due to delusions. He does want you, and he is about to break every rule in his bookâand the lordâs book.
You sink to your knees. The only thing you can see on his face is pure, unbridled lust and the ugly truth of Catholic guilt. He must loathe himself for wanting you.Â
Matt removes his glasses, revealing his beautiful eyes to you. In the dim candlelight, they appear almost black.
âWhatâs my sentence, Father?â you ask.
His hand brushes your cheek. âYou have no idea what youâre doing to me,â he breathes.
âIâm sorry, Father.â
âNo.â He steps into the booth and closes the curtain behind him. âTonight, call me Matt.â
That is the last thing he says before he gets on his knees before you, and he captures your lips in a bruising kiss that is strong enough to make the angels howl.
His hand rests around your throat, feeling your pulse. He may not be able to see you with his eyes, but the way he touches you paints a perfect picture of your presence, and you feel every last ounce of his devotion.Â
He explores the depth of your mouth with his tongue, tasting you, loving you. His hands feel beautifully rough against your skin, just like you imagined they would be after years of praying. He sees himself as the hands of God. A messenger. His goodness makes your heart swell and your core flood with more than unbridled arousalâthis is human nature in all its emotional glory, and you no longer feel ashamed. You canât possibly when he is holding you like this.
He exhales into your mouthâno, he breathes life into your soul. âYouâre the most sinful yet purest thing I have ever laid my hands on,â Matt says.
You gasp against his luscious lips. âI wouldnât want to make you turn your back on God, orââ
He cuts you off, âI did that when I first thought about your body on mine and coming so deep inside of you that youâll carry me with you for days. I donât care about God because if having him means that I canât have you,â he says, âI donât want him anymore.â
You swallow his words with a kiss. Turning a priest against God was never your intention, but you are not in charge of his feelings, nor will you ever be. Matt wants you badly enough to abandon religion, and you will carry that with you until the day you die.Â
He lifts you back onto the edge of the wooden chair, pulling at your clothes and your undergarments. The moonlight hits his face as the cold air of the church hits your bare pussy. He looks ethereal like this, on his knees for you. His hazel eyes bore into your soul. He wears his heart on his sleeves and a collar around his neck.Â
Your priest crosses his chest. He asks God for forgiveness. And then, with one gentle tug at your thighs, he buries his face in your wet cunt, and he feasts as if your sex was the last supper. As Godâs disciple, he is determined to eat up every last bite offered to him. Every last drop from your cunt is his, and your lips part in a moan that echoes through the church like the bells did when it hit midnight.
âFuck,â you cry out.Â
He flattens his tongue against you, licking a long stripe over and then through your folds. He twirls the tip of his tongue over your clit, stroking the sensitive bundle of nerves with such precision, your walls clench at the sheer explosion of pleasure. You have never felt anything like it. He turns something unholy into heaven, and youâre drowning in the river to the Garden of Eden.
His lips suction around your clit. The obscene squelching of your velvety walls fills the booth. It sounds deadly noisy to you. You want to cover your mouth to stop the moans from traveling, but he traps your hand with his, guiding them to his hand, telling you to guide him. Â
Instead, one of your hands moves to his collar. Itâs his turn to moan. You tug at the symbol of his priesthood, forcing his tongue deeper into your hole. He laps up your juices as though his life depends on it.Â
âForgive me, Lord, for I have sinned,â Matt murmurs against you.Â
You moan again, louder this time. He is repenting for wanting to dive into your pussy until he gets swept away by the tide, but it is far too late to back out now. Your pleasure has become his priority.Â
âLord God,â he repeats, âin your goodness have mercy on me.â
The pleasure is turning into a tight knot in your lower abdomen. You can feel it consuming you and your senses. Youâre floating. The light at the end of the tunnel is not so far out of reach anymore. Every suck and every lick at your folds, and every thrust of his tongue into your tight walls pushes you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy.Â
In your goodness, have mercy on me.Â
He bites down lightly on your clit. Your toes curl, and his name comes out in a groan.
Do not look on my sins, but take away all my guilt.Â
Right now, you are his God. By drinking your arousal like holy water and pushing you toward an orgasm he is repenting. The symbolism makes your heels dig into his back as you buck your hips against his mouth, and when he adds one of those thick fingers, curling them up against that sweet spot inside of you, you can barely stand it anymore.
Create me in a clean heart and renew within me an upright spirit.
âGod, Matthew!â your moan interrupts his plea for penance only briefly.
He swats your thigh. âNo blasphemy when I feast at the altar,â he says. The vibration of his voice adds to the knot, tightening it, and threatening it to burst.
Youâre almost there. AlmostâŚ
âHave mercy on me, a sinner,â he continues. His tongue slides between your folds once again, gathering your slit. His fingers curl upward again. Heâs mixing different prayers, or maybe these are his own words, but you are not sure how much longer you can hold it. But he wants you to hold it. You donât want to disappoint the man who is worshiping at your feet, your pussy, his altar, and you are his salvation as much as you are his saving grace.
âIn choosing to do wrong and failing to do good,â he prays, âI have sinned against You whom I should love above all thingsâbut fuck, I donât.âÂ
Does that mean he loves you? It is too soon to tell that, but he is devoted, and devotion can be just as sinfully sweet as the rawest feeling of love.
âHave mercy on me, God. Amen!â
His collar is starting to tear under your vice grip.Â
Matt thrusts his digit into you until it disappears, and he finally decides to show the mercy he was begging for to you. âCome for me, sweetheart,â he says.Â
Your thighs lock around his head as the knot breaks in two. You come, hard, and the wave tears him down with you, shooting his cum into his slacks like the good Catholic boy he is.
You let go of his collar when your orgasm has done its damage.Â
âNo,â he stops you.Â
âNo?â you ask, still breathless.
âNo,â he says, lifting his head to grin at you, not like a man of God but the Devil himself. âI have not done nearly enough penance.â
As a priest, Matt is used to being on his knees until theyâre bruised; until he canât stand straight anymore, so he has to remain there, cowering before a God he more often than not does not believe in.
Before you can protest, he dives back into your endless ocean, and you have no choice but to lean back and take it.Â
He is not the only one doing penance tonight, after allâyou both are.Â
Matt Murdock Smut Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @mcugeekposts @itwasthereaminuteago @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @ravenclaw617 @pigeonmama
#matt murdock#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock smut#matt murdock x afab!reader#pwp#afab!reader#matt murdock x you#no y/n#priest!matt#matt murdock priest au#daredevil#daredevil x reader#charlie cox#from the vault#reader insert#inspired by fleabag#because who doesn't want to fuck a priest
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Fuck it I love you | part III
pairing: sam carpenter x fem!reader
summary: when paired with Tara Carpenter for a project you were expecting a B or maybe even an A. Not falling in love with Tara's older sister, Sam
series masterlist
words: 1.642k
warnings: bad writing
authors note: a short one but next chap will be much longer :)
You let out a shaky sigh as you grab yet another tissue soaking in the tears rolling down your cheeks at an alarming rate.
Your heart feels as if it was cracking at the borderline cruel words that were said; the word 'why?' in your mind the entire time.
A ring from your phone distracted you from your heart momentarily, sniffling as you grabbed it and answered the phone.
"Hey Y/n, did I leave my watch on the coffee table?" Melanie asks you in a rushed voice as your eyes glanced over the coffee table to see the watch that Melanie owns.
"Yeah it's here." You croak out in a broken voice making Melanie's eyes widen dramatically.
"Y/n? What's wrong? I'll leave this party right now if you need me." She says seriously in a more hushed tone.
You shake your head as a watery chuckle escapes your lips. "No, no it's fine, stay." You insisted as your eyes glanced at the TV screen.
"Why're you crying?" Melanie asks you worriedly, fearing the absolute worst possible thing has happened to you.Â
And it has. The fucking worst thing.
"I just finished Fleabag again." You inform her as more tears started swarming in instantly at the mention of the show.
Melanie groans loudly. "Fucking hell, Y/n, I thought something actually happened!"Â
"Something has happened, Melanie. He told her 'it'll pass' that it'll fucking pass!" You sob again as you grab more tissues, your heart cracking even more at the still raw memory.
"You've watched that show so many times how the fuck does the ending still make you cry?" She asks you with a laugh now clearly finding your heart break hilarious.
"She said 'I love you' and he said 'it'll pass.' before saying he loves her too! How could I not cry?" You defended not finding your heartbreak over a TV show humour.Â
She laughs again. "You and your shows. Chads coming over with shots, I'm off. Toodles."
"Toodles." You sniffle making her let out another laugh before hanging up the call.
You glance at your phone and roll your eyes at the low battery. Typical.Â
Yeah, it's a Saturday night and here you are, alone in your apartment finishing Fleabag and experiencing the heartbreak that hurts just as much as it did the first time.Â
Some might say depressing, you say it's the way to live.
With an exaggerated sigh you turn the TV off with the small remote before standing up, heading towards your bedroom to charge your phone.
You reach your desk where the plug is at but frown when you don't see that your charger isn't plugged in.
Where else can it be-
Fuck sakes you forgot it Tara's apartment.
Groaning you grab your phone which only has 3% and shoot the girl a quick message.
Me (20:47pm): hey tar, is it cool if i come over quickly? i forgot my charger there đđ
Tarađ (20:52pm): yeah ofc but-
Before you can see the rest of the text message your phone shuts off to a completely blank screen.
With an annoyed huff you stuff your phone into the pocket of your joggers and go to look for your shoes near the front of the apartment.
At least you saw the permission text you think as you shove your feet into your dirty, broken trainers that you refuse to throw out since shoes are so expensive.Â
The walk to Carpenter's apartment is only twenty minutes and since the sun hasn't fully set outside you decide a walk won't do any harm.Â
You're a bit annoyed that you can't listen to any music on the walk so you decide to do the second best thing, think about Sam.
She's just so gorgeous and so sweet with her friends and Tara, how could anyone not constantly think about her?
You've seen Sam a handful of times since the gym, all of them being at their apartment as you and Tara worked on your project.Â
Tara and you have actually gotten through most of the project so unfortunately you only need to head over there around three more times till the two of you have completed the project.Â
You can't help but feel relieved to be able to actually finish a project in time before the due date, but there's also a deep pit of disappointment lingering in you too.Â
What if you never see Sam again after it? There'll be no excuses to come over there anymore unless Tara would invite you over.Â
Wow, that quickly spiralled into just not happy Sam thoughts.Â
Thankfully you stop yourself from thinking the worst case scenarios as you've arrived at the apartment complex.
Like routine you head up the stupidly long stairs since the elevator is still broken and after what feels like an eternity you reach their floor.
Knocking on the door three times you patiently wait for Tara to come open the door for you but to your joy it's Sam, looking as annoyed as ever; your heart swoons at the sight.
"What." She grumbled as her eyes travel you up and down, furrowing her brows at your shirt. "What the fuck is your shirt?" She questions before you even get a chance to answer her first question.
You look down at your shirt and giggle not remembering what shirt you're wearing. It's a yellow shirt with a pineapple in the middle wearing a pink thong, under it is the simple word 'Slut'. A shirt you got after your third re-watch of Brooklyn Nine Nine.
"It's from a show, you don't like it? It's actually really soft." You tell her with a smile instinctively feeling your waist to feel the soft texture. "Seriously, for around fifteen dollars and free packing this was a bargain."Â
Sam hums as she stares at your shirt questioningly before raising her eyes to meet with yours. "And you decided to wear a shirt saying 'slut' in public?"
You nod your head proudly. "Why wouldn't I?"
"People will clearly judge you. Stare." Sam answers speedily as if she already knew what she was going to say.
You shrug your shoulders, a weak laugh escaping your lips. "People who are complete strangers? People who I'll never see again?" You say with a soft smile. "People will always judge, it's our instinct to judge whatever we come across. But you can't let that control your life and stop you from being you; stop that from letting you wear what you want or even like what you like. At the end of the day they're people who I'll never see again."
Sam doesn't say anything for a moment as if she's digesting your words, her eyes never leaving yours for a second. You don't say anything as you gaze back into Sam's cold eyes lovingly.
She leans against the doorframe as she runs a hand through her hair. "Why're you here, Y/n? Tara's not even in."Â
Your eyes widen as you mentally groan, that was probably the rest of the text message she sent but you couldn't see.Â
"Shit I'm sorry I didn't know. I sent Tar a message asking if I can come over to get my charger but when she texted back I only saw part of the message of her saying I can come over before my phone died."Â
Sam sighs as she nods her head weakly stepping back into her apartment as she walks over to her couch, you take this as her letting you to which you do ever so gracefully, shutting the door behind you.
Your eyes avert to Sam's figure sitting on the couch as her back faces you with the TV playing on a low volume, one of your favourite movies playing on the screen.
"I love Little Miss Sunshine." You express with a smile walking towards Sam, resting your hands on top of the couch as you stare at the screen. "It absolutely changed my life, and the first movie I actually loved. Like fully loved."Â
"It's okay." Sam says with a small smile on her lips as she watches the movie from below you. "I hated it in the beginning but I guess it's sorta growing on me."Â
"There's a thin line between love and hate." You express your attention only focused on the movie playing on the screen.
Sam tilts her head up as she gazes at your side profile. "I wouldn't say I love it but I definitely like it."
You chuckle at her words, your eyes lighting up in the reflection of the movie that Sam couldn't help but focus on.
"It's growing, right? Give it time and you'll love it like there's no tomorrow." Sam hums very swallowing her eyes and focuses no longer on the movie.
"Did you love it right from the start?" She asks you. Finally you look away from the screen to look into her eyes, a gentle smile grazing your lips.
"Pretty much. You'll love it soon too, I bet you will." You tell her, thinking you're still talking about the movie.Â
But Sam isn't, Sam isn't thinking of the movie at all.
"But I still don't like some parts of it or even understand it, how're you so sure I'll love it?" Sam tries again, blinking slowly.
You shrug your shoulders before moving around the couch to sit next to her, your thighs touching as you smile at her.
"Give it a chance, this is your first time watching it right?" Sam nods her head. "Then give it a chance, you might surprise yourself and actually really like it in the end."
"Go on a date with me." Sam abruptly asks, barely giving you time to finish your sentence. Her eyes gazed into yours as a small smile nervously appeared on her lips.
Holy fucking shit.Â
#sam carpenter x reader#sam carpenter x female reader#sam carpenter x fem!reader#sam carpenter fluff#sam carpenter x you#sam carpenter x y/n#my fanficiton#my writing#melissa barrera x reader#scream six#fluff
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Thou Shalt Not Covet // 12: Mercy
Contents | Part 11 | First Person Version [AO3]
Summary: (Priest!Ben x Female Reader) Adapting to your new normal comes with some disappointments. But you can always count on your priest to lift your spirits.
Word Count: 5.7K
Warnings: Strong language, irreverence, dark humour, religious imagery & desecration, explicit sexual content including oral sex (giving). Readers must be 18+
A/N: Thank you all so much for your patience, I'm so happy to be posting again. I'm not entirely happy with the writing in this chapter, it's definitely not my strongest work so I apologise in advance if anyone notices a drop in quality. I'll be back on top form in the next one (I hope).
This part includes a little nod to Fleabag S2, the original inspiration for this story.
His kiss was like a bruise, an aching reminder of a heady collision. And much like a bruise, you couldn't help but touch it; poking and prodding with fascination at the memory of an impact just beneath your skin.
The evening sun gleamed golden through the cloudy bus window as you rested your elbow against it, running the tips of your fingers across your lips, keeping him close to the surface. You hadn't wanted to leave the church. You weren't sure he wanted you to leave either; the pressure of his body against yours, pinning you to the wall of that quiet, narrow corridor like he wanted to keep you there forever. And you probably would have let him.Â
The bus shuddered and jerked over the uneven road, the windows rattling, passengers swaying in a lazy unison. It was all so mundane, so normal and unremarkable, yet somehow these were the places that felt strange now; existing somewhere that didn't hold the weight of your sins.
You almost missed your stop, fumbling to press the bell and staggering down the aisle as the driver came to an abrupt halt. The air outside was cooler, a gentle breeze providing relief from the mid-spring warmth. You thought of rain as you walked home, breathed slow as you pictured it hammering the roads and gathering in murky puddles; angry grey skies and fierce winds that carried the scent of salt and earth.Â
There were new decorations in the front garden of your mother's house. Small lights lining the path, a bird feeder and ornaments shaped like squirrels and rabbits tucked amongst the flower beds. You ducked to avoid a new hanging basket over the front door, letting yourself inside and checking your reflection in the mirror on the wall as you kicked off your shoes. You leaned in closer, examining yourself for a moment, trying to figure out what it was he found so irresistible about you.
"Is that you, Ellis?" your mother called.Â
"Yeah it's me," you replied, following her voice into the dining room.Â
She was sitting at the table surrounded by artificial flowers, plastic leaves and Baby's Breath. Her glasses slipped down to the tip of her nose as she fiddled with a roll of wire, cable ties hanging from her mouth and a pair of scissors in her hand.Â
"What are you doing?" you asked.Â
"Making a wreath f'th front door," she mumbled, the ties still between her teeth.Â
"You're a few months late..."Â
"A spring wreath." She rolled her eyes, taking the ties out of her mouth. "There's dinner for you in the kitchen. Didn't realise you wouldn't be back in time."Â
"Oh, yeah sorry I should've told you I'd be late."
"Work?"Â
"No, the er... I was at the... church."Â
She pushed her glasses onto her head, looking up at you with pursed lips.Â
"What?" you asked with a nervous laugh. "I just... I like helping out there."Â
"I didn't say anything.," she replied, holding her hands up in surrender. "I don't care what you believe in, as long as you don't get involved in one of those cults. I can't be doing with ending up on the news."Â
You laughed again - a breathier, more genuine laugh - and sat down beside her, watching as she tucked flowers into loops of wire, arranging them until they looked just right.Â
"I think he's good for you," she said.Â
"Who?"Â
"Your priest friend. He's a good person to have in your life. I think you need it; someone virtuous, moral."
Moral. You thought back to the night in the rectory, the things he'd whispered in your ear as he parted your legs, how his hands seemed most comfortable on your neck. You thought about the scuffs on his knuckles after he punched Alfie in the face for daring to come close to you, his fantasy of you kneeling before him at mass, the 'fuck it' he'd growled before kissing you not even an hour ago.
"And I'm not saying you're not those things," she continued. "But it's just... I suppose it's nice to know you've got a friend who's such a good influence, you know."
"Wow, and suddenly I feel ten years old again," you muttered sarcastically.
She tutted and elbowed you gently, pulling her glasses back down again.
You stood up and made your way into the kitchen where a plate sat alone on the tidy counter. You peeled back the foil on top to reveal a lukewarm dinner, not bothering to heat it up before returning to your seat in the dining room.
"Have you spoken to your estate agent friend yet?" your mother asked as she snipped the stem of an artificial sunflower.
"Mm," you began, trying to speak through a mouthful of food. You swallowed it quickly and continued. "I told you, he works in sales. Big stuff, you know, like multimillion pound stuff. I'd have more luck on Rightmove."Â
"And have you?"Â
"Nope. I've been checking constantly. Zoopla too, and On The Market and Prime Location and-"
"Okay, alright, I get the point."Â
"Are you in a rush to get rid of me or something?"Â
"What? No, no of course not. I just- I worry. You're my youngest, you know I worry."Â
"I know." You sighed, pushing your fork around the plate.
"It's funny you haven't found anything though. I'm always seeing signs on places to let, especially near the town centre."Â
"Oh no, I've found a couple of flats that'd be perfect. I just can't afford them. I mean, you're talking deposit, rent upfront, fees, furnishings... I haven't even managed to pay my phone bill this month, it's going to take me ages to save up."Â
She let out a long, deflated sigh. "I wish I could help."Â
"You can help with the phone bill if you want?" you joked.Â
She chuckled, holding up the half-finished wreath to examine her work.Â
The next week passed in a bland, monotonous blur. Each day a repetition of the last; go to work, waste the morning scrolling on real estate websites, eat the sandwich your mother packed for you, fix your posture whenever Dawn walked past your office. Then you'd get the bus home, accidentally head butt the hanging basket on your way into the house, eat dinner at the dining table and disappear into your childhood bedroom for the rest of the night.Â
You were lying beneath your Care Bear bedsheets, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, remembering how you used to pick out patterns in them whenever you couldn't sleep. You loved Friday nights; going to bed knowing you wouldn't have to wake to the blare of an alarm, the buzz of your phone against the bedside table, to know you didn't have to look at any more baby pictures until Monday. No more tiny humans stuffed into wicker baskets, pudgy cheeks and scarily bendy limbs.Â
Moonlight melted through a gap in the closed curtains, the lilac material swaying gently in the breeze seeping through the open window. You rolled onto your side, the small single bed creaking as you moved, and for a moment you found your mind wandering to the bed you'd left behind at Gina's house; wondered if they'd ever slept together beneath your sheets.Â
No one had been there when you went to collect your belongings, but still your father stood watch like a bouncer as you slogged box after box down the stairs. It was all in storage now. Everything you owned sitting in your father's garage, biding its time, waiting for a place to belong. Much like you; tucked away, collecting dust.
You reached for your phone, squinting as the screen came to life in the dark. You opened a new message and began to type before deleting it, then typing, then deleting, then typing. The cursor blinked as you stared at the blank text bubble, like it was waiting for you, ticking like a clock or the tapping of an impatient foot.Â
So what exactly do priests text about? you finally wrote, pressing send and putting the phone face down on the nightstand.Â
There was a buzz soon after. You grabbed it immediately.Â
I see you finally paid your bill, the message read.Â
You smiled.
How did you know it was me? you sent.Â
Educated guess.
You began to type, but you paused when you saw he was typing too. Then he stopped, then kept writing, then stopped again. You wondered what he was so hesitant to say, what thought he couldn't find the words for.Â
Do you need any help at church this weekend? you wrote.
Ok now I'm not so sure this is actually Ellis..
Hey, I'm just trying to get back in the Lord's good books.Â
Were you ever in his good books to start with?Â
You giggled, fingers absentmindedly finding your lips and running softly back and forth over them, searching for an ache, the tingle of a kiss that was beginning to fade.
A breeze carried the faint sound of music across the church grounds, the evening sun still bright and warm as you walked across the plush grass. Your hands were planted firmly on your backside, holding down the bottom of your summer dress as the wind tried to lift it.Â
There was a signboard outside the entrance to the function hall: Parish Singles Mixer This Way. You held back the urge to laugh, taking a moment to compose yourself before walking inside where June's eyes immediately trailed the length of you.Â
"Hello," you said awkwardly.Â
"It started at seven, you know," she said, glancing down at her watch.Â
"What time is it now?"Â
"Half past."Â
"Oh. Sorry. Well I suppose it could be worse; at least I'm sober." You breathed out a laugh. Â
June's face remained sullen. You cleared your throat.Â
"I'll just... see you inside," you said.
You walked past her and stopped in the doorway, pressing your lips together as you took in the sight of the decorated hall, the round tables covered with paper tablecloths and sprinklings of shiny confetti.Â
Music played from a large speaker at the back of the room. A church volunteer named Keith was sat beside it with a laptop, like a DJ who'd forgotten his equipment. Men and women filled the space, dressed in their best shirts and loveliest dresses with name tags on their chests. Some talked in pairs, others gathered in large same-sex groups like nervous teenagers.Â
You didn't realise your mouth had opened, gawping slightly at the wonderfully pitiful scene before you. You'd never been to a single's night before, but you were certain they weren't supposed to look like this.Â
You turned to a table beside you where a stack of blank name tags and a box of markers sat neatly. You took one and wrote your name, sticking it to your left breast with a crude slap.
"This started half an hour ago, you know." Father Benedict's voice was like silk in your ear, so smooth you didn't even flinch at his sudden appearance behind you.Â
You turned and looked up at him. "You religious folk are weirdly concerned with punctuality."Â
He smiled, eyes flitting down to your chest then back up to your face. "Why've you put a name tag on?"Â
"Isn't that what they're there for?"Â
"Yes, for the singles."Â
"I'm single..."Â
There was a long silence. You watched as his throat bobbed with a hard swallow, eyes closing with a slow blink and a smirk forming in the corner of his mouth.Â
"Catholic singles," he said.Â
"Ah, so that's why it feels like a high school prom in here." You paused. "Actually no, it doesn't. People got so drunk at my prom they were throwing up outside, and I know of at least four girls who got fingered in the toilets."
"Were you one of them?"
You hit him hard on the arm. He chuckled, pulling at the white collar around his neck, his gaze staying on you for slightly too long.Â
It was like you'd been holding tension in your joints all week and they'd finally loosened in his presence. Like his desire was a salve that provided relief, a lingering stare that could soothe any ache.
"Hi, by the way," he said.
"Hi."
"I wasn't sure you'd actually show."Â
"Are you joking? And miss this inevitable disaster?"Â
He smiled. "I'll have you know I held one of these events at my last parish and it was a huge success."Â
"Oh, you fingered someone in the toilets?"Â
He rolled his eyes.
"You got fingered...?"Â
"Stop saying fingered," he whispered, holding back a laugh.
"Sorry." You lowered your gaze apologetically, before looking back up at him with a slight smirk.
His chest expanded with a slow, deep inhale, his eyes fixed on yours, switching focus from left to right as though searching for something behind them. Eventually he cleared his throat, straightening his posture and slipping his hands into the pockets of his trousers.Â
"I need to get this mixer actually mixing," he said. "Would you mind manning the drinks table for a bit?"Â
You nodded with a quiet laugh. "Sure."Â
He wandered off through the hall, stopping to talk with people, shaking hands and breaking ice. It was captivating to watch someone navigate a crowd with such ease; to charm even the most shy people out of their shells and have them willingly follow.Â
The drinks table was a sad affair; a stack of plastic cups and two pitchers of lukewarm, watered down juice. You pulled up a chair and sat down behind it, scanning the room, your gaze falling on a couple who seemed to be hitting it off. She laughed at something he said, reached out and touched his arm. He ran a hand through his hair, the blush of his cheeks so pink you could see it from across the room.
"Excuse me, would you mind if I got myself a drink?"
You looked up to see a man pointing to the cups. You shook your head and gestured for him to go ahead. He was wearing a bowtie, the sleeves of his shirt slightly too short for his long arms as he reached for one of the pitchers. He appeared around your age, but his sheepish demeanour made him seem younger. You narrowed your eyes to read his name tag - Abel - you laughed.Â
He shifted uncomfortably. "D-did I do something funny?"Â
"No, sorry." You waved your hand. "It's just... Abel. My brother's name is Cain. Y'know, Cain and Abel."Â
"Ah." His laugh was laced with relief. "He's not here is he? I'd have to run and hide."Â
"Oh no, he's dead."Â
There was an awkward silence, his eyes widening as he struggled to find an appropriate response.
"Oh, you were making a bible joke," you said. "Sorry, I just got it."Â
He relaxed again, exhaling a weak laugh and taking a large chug of juice.
You glanced over at Father Benedict as he tried desperately to introduce people to one another, your eyes trailing down to his backside.Â
"So are you a volunteer or a... single?" asked Abel, snapping you out of your lecherous daze.Â
You shrugged. "Both, I suppose."Â
"Oh, cool." He hovered at the table for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he looked around. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing."Â
"By the looks of it, no one does."Â
He laughed. "It's a bit embarrassing really, isn't it; needing a special event just to meet someone."Â
"Church people, they're a picky bunch."Â
He laughed again, more heartily this time.Â
"Hi guys," said Father Benedict as he approached the table, ducking down to count the bottles of juice near your feet. "How's your evening going?"
"It's alright," said Abel, gesturing towards you with a smile. "Better now I've met Ellis here."
You smiled back politely.
Father Benedict straightened to his full height, hand finding the back of your chair with a tight grip as he looked down at you. "Oh really?"
You tilted your head back to meet his gaze, surprised to find flecks of jealousy in the lines of his face.Â
"That's nice," he said, back teeth pressed firmly together. "But I actually need to borrow you for a second if that's alright?"Â
You turned back to Abel. "Sorry."Â
"Oh, yeah no it's- no problem. We can chat in a bit."Â
You nodded, watching as he wandered off awkwardly through the crowd.
"What's up?" you asked, turning your attention back to Father Benedict.
"Could you refill these jugs?" He lifted a large bottle of cordial onto the table. "What's that about?"Â
"What's what about?"
"Him."
"Oh, his name's Abel. He seems nice."Â
"No, I know who he is, he works at the school. I meant what were you doing talking to him?"Â
You narrowed your eyes. "Are you jealous, Father?"Â
He glanced over his shoulder at him, then back to you. "Nah, he's not my type."Â
You scoffed quietly and stood up, wrapping your fingers around the bottle lid and attempting to turn it. It was tight, stiff, making the palm of your hand ache as you tried to force it open. Â
"I think he's nervous," you said. "Says something when I'm the most approachable person here." Â
"Or maybe he just fancies you," he replied, taking the bottle from you and opening it with an easy twist.Â
"Maybe." You paused. "Would that bother you? If he did?"Â
He pressed the tip of his tongue to his top lip, the corner of his mouth curling with a slight smile.
"I can't control who fancies you, Ellis. I just hope you remember the promise you made..."Â
"No one touches me unless they're worthy?" Â
"That's the one."
"Including you?"Â
He looked down at you, throat bobbing with a slow swallow. "Including me."Â
"So... That kiss last week..."Â
"Oh, that wasn't because I think I'm worthy. That was because I have no self control."
You exhaled a laugh through your nose. "How's your self control doing tonight?"Â
"It's hanging on... By a thread."Â
"It's the dress, isn't it."Â
He bowed his head, chuckling quietly as he walked away.Â
And as quickly as it had dissipated, the tension returned again. But this time it wasn't in your joints. It was in your chest, your core, in the swelling heat between your legs. You licked your lips and sat back down.Â
Abel was talking but you couldn't hear a word, chewing on the rim of your plastic cup as you stared past him, eyes fixed on your priest and the woman he'd been chatting to for far too long.Â
"Ellis?"Â
"Hm?"Â
"I asked you a question," Abel laughed.Â
"Sorry, what did you say?"Â
"I asked when your last relationship was."Â
"Oh, er, it was recent."Â
He nodded with interest. "How recent?"Â
"Like... recent recent. He cheated on me, it was a whole thing."
"Oh, wow, I-I'm sorry to hear that."Â
The night had crept up slowly, darkness turning the windows to glossy, black mirrors as the coloured lights inside the hall glittered against them. The atmosphere had relaxed; the room buzzing with joy and laughter as connections formed and inhibitions melted away. You wondered how many weddings would come from this evening, how many love stories you'd witnessed the birth of.
The woman reached out, brushing something off Father Benedict's shoulder, smiling and continuing to talk as though touching him was the most natural thing in the world. You bit the inside of your cheek.
"Ellis? You've disappeared again," Abel laughed.Â
"Sorry. Sorry, I- I'll just be a minute, I have to..." you trailed off, standing up before he could even respond and walking quickly across the hall.
You tapped Father Benedict on the shoulder and the woman stopped talking, turning her head slowly to look at you.Â
"Sorry for interrupting," you said.
"No need to apologise," he replied, placing a hand on your back as though he'd forgotten where he was. "Ellis, this is Meg, she just passed her training to become a lay minister."Â
"Oh, congratulations," you said.Â
She gave a wry smile.Â
"Meg, Ellis is a... friend of the church."Â
"Acquaintance, really," you said. "Friend is a bit strong."Â
He rolled his eyes, prodding his fingers firmly into your back.
"It's nice to meet you, Ellis," she said.Â
You nodded before turning to look up at Father Benedict. "I was just wondering if you wanted me to go around and clean up the empty cups?"Â
"That'd be great."Â
You allowed your gaze to linger on him for a moment before conceding and walking away, listening to Meg talk again, as though you'd never interrupted them.Â
The bin bag was making your palm sweat, the shiny, black plastic sticking to your leg whenever you moved. You groaned and kicked it away again, reaching for a collection of used cups rimmed with lipstick. You threw them in the bag and moved to the next table, catching the eye of a man who flashed you a hopeful smile. You smiled back politely and kept walking, peeling the name tag from your chest, crumpling it in your fist and throwing it away.Â
You threw another few cups in the bag and peered over at the spot where Father Benedict and Meg had been standing, but instead of the tall, dark priest, a young woman stood in his place. You furrowed your brow, scanning the room for him. He was gone.Â
You felt something cold on your foot, looking down to find a quickening stream of juice dripping from the bag. You swore under your breath, grimacing as you marched it at arm's length out of the hall and into a small, quiet stock room. You shoved the bag into a bin in the corner and grabbed a roll of tissue, unravelling more than you needed and bending down to wipe away the sweet, sticky mess trickling down the side of your shoe.Â
The door opened suddenly, making you jump in fright, losing your balance and falling back onto the floor. Father Benedict's deep, throaty laugh thrummed into the quiet space. He made his way over to you and reached out his hand.Â
"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you."
You blew out a breath and took his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. "The bag split."Â
"Ugh, are you alright?"Â
"I think I'll survive."Â
He took a step back towards the door, leaning against the frame as he listened to the muffled noise seeping out of the hall.Â
"Tonight's going well, don't you think?" he said proudly.Â
"Mhm, I see at least one person's getting fingered in the toilets," you replied sarcastically.Â
His brows came together over confused eyes. He thought for a moment, glancing over his shoulder before turning back to you.
"Wh-Â Meg?"
"Yeah, you seemed to really be hitting it off in there."
He pushed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, holding back the urge to grin. "She's moving to my old parish next month, wants me to recommend her to the minister there. That's all."Â
"Oh. Good luck to her."
"Now who's the jealous one," he teased.Â
You rummaged through a cupboard near the bin, pulling out a roll of fresh bags. He cocked his head as he watched you, analysing you. Â
"Are you okay?" he asked.
You blew out a puff of air, lifting a stray lock of hair out of your face. "Well, considering I'm a grown woman who lives with her mum, my capacity for 'okay' only stretches so far."
"Fair enough," he laughed. "And you haven't had any more trouble from what's-his-face, have you?"
"No, I think he's scared of me since you gave him that nose job."Â
He covered his eyes with his hand, dragging it slowly down his face. "I still can't believe I did that. I don't know what got into me-"
"It's okay. I found it quite sexy."Â
"Why am I not the least bit surprised?"Â
You smiled, bowing your head as you tried to tear a bag from the roll.Â
"Here," he said as he walked over to you.
You watched his hands as they gripped the plastic, ripping it apart with a forceful pull. He handed a bag to you and tossed the rest aside.Â
"Thanks," you said, clearing your throat as you looked up at him.Â
The last time you were this close, he had just kissed you; his breath ragged, eyes burning with a heat you could feel beneath your skin. You'd spent every moment since wondering what might have happened if you'd stayed, if that single thread of self control had torn under the weight of his desire. Â
He swallowed, eyes flitting down to your lips, and in that moment you knew he'd been wondering the exact same thing. You shivered as his hand settled tentatively on your hip, your breath shaking as his fingertips moved to graze your thigh beneath the hem of your dress.Â
"You took your name tag off" he said quietly.Â
"Yeah," you replied, barely whispering. "You were right, I shouldn't have been wearing it."Â
"Why?"Â
"Because I didn't come for the mixer..."Â
"Then why did you come?" He shifted closer, enough for you to feel his breath on your face, the tickle of his touch travelling further beneath your dress.Â
You could feel goosebumps puckering down your arms, desire blooming deep in your core. You welcomed his caress, leaning into it, granting him access to your body like a gift. You gazed up at him with heavy lids, breaths turning shallow as he leaned forward, bringing his lips inches from yours.Â
"Why?" he repeated, his voice a low rumble in the base of his throat.Â
"Probably the same reason you keep inviting me back," you whispered.
Your lips met in a slow, heavy kiss, his tongue sweeping into your mouth without any hesitation. You sighed against him, eyes closing, losing yourself in a taste you'd come to crave. It didn't matter that beyond the door was a hall full of people, that if anyone saw you it would mean the end; not just for him, but for you too. In this moment, all you cared about was the feeling of his hands on your skin, the groan that escaped him when you gently sucked on his bottom lip.Â
"Hi June, I'm looking for Ellis," Abel's voice echoed from the foyer. "About this tall, she's wearing a dress with flowers on?"Â
You pulled apart quickly, foreheads resting against each other.Â
"Fucking hell," you hissed.
"Another holy intervention," Father Benedict muttered.
"No, just a man in a bow tie," you sighed.
You were crouched behind the drinks table. Partly because you had to pack everything away, but mostly because you were hiding.Â
Abel was nice. Funny, well-intentioned, handsome if not slightly gawky. And maybe in another world, you could have given him a chance; gone for coffee, held hands as he walked you home, kissed goodnight on the doorstep. But in this world, there was a priest.Â
You peered over the table, watching as the singles sat in groups around the room, cards stuck to their foreheads and pens in their hands. Abel was sat amongst them, playing opposite a shy, giggly woman, her long blonde hair tucked behind her ears. You smiled and sank back down behind the table, breathing out a sigh of relief before packing up the last few cups into a large cardboard box.Â
You walked out of the hall and down the path towards the church, the box obscuring your view as you lugged it in your arms. The night air was cool, the breeze carrying the scent of flowers and freshly cut grass through the air. You'd always preferred the colder months, but there was something about the air when spring turned to summer - the way it smelled, how it sat on the skin like a gentle embrace - that always reminded you to breathe, to fill your lungs to the brim and savour the feeling.Â
You pushed through the side door of the church with your hip, letting it swing closed behind you as you stepped inside. You walked down the quiet corridor, the air still close and suffocating from the day's heat, and with a tired huff, you dumped the box on the floor inside Father Benedict's office.
"Father?" you called out, met with nothing but silence.
You couldn't help but wander down to the chapel, the dark, echoey space so still and serene that even your exhales felt out of place. You paused to bask in the solitude; the smells you'd come to find comfort in, the feel of the carpet beneath the soles of your shoes. You closed your eyes, drawing in a deep breath, when a sudden shiver rolled down your back at the sound of footsteps behind you.Â
You turned around, eyes settling on a tall, dark frame emerging from the corridor. He stopped just beyond the threshold, standing with his hands in his pockets, the flash of white around his neck still visible even in the dim light.Â
"I couldn't remember where you said to put the stuff so I threw it in your office," you said.Â
"Threw it?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.Â
"If you want the job done well, pay me."Â
He chuckled before looking around at the empty pews, the darkness beyond the stained glass windows. You watched as he made his way to the altar, walking leisurely, hands still in his pockets. He turned on his heels to face you, gesturing with his head for you to come to him.Â
You didn't question it, doing as he instructed like an obedient servant, following orders without a single word. Your heart began to race as you stood before him, the fluttering in your chest mirrored by a rippling deep in your stomach the moment your eyes met.Â
"Kneel," he said calmly. Â
You hesitated, eyes flitting around the church.Â
"It's just us," he said.
"And him..." you replied, nodding to the statue of Christ behind him.Â
The corner of his mouth twitched, but he didn't concede. You swallowed hard, lowering yourself slowly to your knees, ignoring the burn of the rough carpet against your skin.Â
You reached up, each action careful and considerate, like you feared you'd startle him back to sense if you made any sudden movements. He kept his eyes on you, gazing down as your fingers found the buttons of his trousers, releasing each one with a gentle pop. He placed a hand on your face, thumb pressing to your bottom lip and dragging it down to reveal your tongue. You stuck it out willingly, watching shadows form in the angles of his face as he pushed it into your mouth. His eyelids fluttered slightly as you sucked on it, and you held back the urge to smile.Â
You parted his fly and slipped your hand beneath the fabric of his underwear, gripping the base of his cock and releasing it eagerly. He was hard, rigid and pulsing with even the lightest graze of your fingers, but he remained calm, unwavering in his composure, only the slight quiver of his breath giving him away. This was his fantasy - he'd already told you - and you'd wanted so desperately to make it come true.Â
You flattened your tongue and dragged it up the underside of his length, drawing a deep groan from his throat as he moved his hand back to the side of your face. You'd never much cared for giving blow jobs; finding them boring, awkward, an unsexy act that left you with an aching jaw and numb lips. But the arousal pooling between your legs was undeniable, the tingle of your hardening nipples making you shudder with excitement. You slid him into your mouth, sinking halfway before pulling back and glancing up at him, seeking approval, wanting to be led.Â
He inhaled sharply through his nose, letting his head fall back as you swirled your tongue around the head of his cock, wrapping your fingers around it before taking it back into your mouth. You moved at a steady pace, drawing him deeper each time until you were struggling to breathe. He took your hair in fistfuls, guiding you gently, his rich moans pouring over you like warm, sweet honey.
You felt a hard prod at the back of your throat, the sensation making you gag, choking back a cough as you pushed his hips back to catch your breath. He buckled at the sound, swearing under his breath as he struggled to stay upright. He liked it; the sound of you gagging, the rush of thick saliva coating his cock.Â
You reached up and took both of his wrists, moving his grip to the back of your head before dropping your hands behind your back. He groaned in delicious realisation, the silent permission to use your mouth unlocking a forcefulness that took you by surprise.Â
His fingers tangled in your hair as he thrust into your mouth. You held your breath as he sank deep, pulling back and repeating the action with a quiet growl. You fought the urge to move your hands and take back control, keeping your fingers clasped tightly behind your back, trusting him not to push you too far.Â
Your eyes were watering, nose running, spit escaping from the corners of your mouth. You were certain it was the most unattractive you'd ever looked, yet there was a thrill in letting go; the veneer of uncertainty shattering with every snap of his hips.Â
A string of incoherent whispers spilled out of him as he came, cock throbbing against your tongue and coating your throat with his rapture. You gasped when he slid out of your mouth, as if he'd been holding your head below water and had finally brought you up for air.Â
He cupped your face, staring down at you in awe. You wiped your mouth and chin with the back of your hand as you gazed up at him, your breathing still rapid and uneven, swollen lips parted in awe of his beauty. He tucked himself back into his trousers, not bothering to button them before kneeling with you and running his thumbs under your eyes, swiping at the smudges of tears and mascara that had pooled there. You reached up instinctively to hold his forearms, balancing yourself, as he continued to wipe away the mess he'd created, his movements so gentle and considered it was hard to believe he was capable of anything other than tenderness.
"Stay with me tonight," he said softly.
You nodded, unsure how you would ever be able to leave him again.
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