#i watched a ton of his streams and got into a few shows a bit j bc he was in it

[agoodfictitle-shadowban]

Sweet Summer | Pt. 3 [Ending]

Wanda Maximoff x f!Reader

Summary: The Xavier Institude is being renovated for the summer. With nowhere else to go, your best friends Billy and Tommy offer you to stay with them and their mom. But what happens when feelings start to spark between the two of you?

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Violence, Panic Attack, Age Gap (20yo reader, 37yo Wanda)

Tags: mutant!Reader (shadow manipulation), different timeline, everyone is alive (except Pietro, sorry Pietro), no Sokovia Accords, no Thanos, Wanda was young when she joined the Avengers, retired Natasha, top!Reader, bottom!Wanda, but they switch a bit, Vision is a bit of an asshole, divorced!Wanda, mainly cutesy, bit of angst tho

A/n: last part for this story! I hope you liked it, it was fun to write but your comments are what brought the most joy so please do comment! See you soon :)

Your way to the airport was filled with music as you sang along to the radio with Wanda, in a more or less serious way depending on the song, laughing with each other when you decided to make silly faces. It was all in good fun, and showed how happy you were together. When you arrived, you disembarked from the car and headed to the lobby. Wanda was wearing a cap and sunglasses trying to hide who she was. It was your first time on the plane, so you were excited, looking around the place with childlike wonder. Until your eyes found someone familiar.

At first you didn't recognize them, but then it hit you like a ton of bricks. It was your dad. Right there, with your mom, and… your younger sibling, you guessed. A boy. Still, he looked so much like you, it was uncanny. They looked so happy as they breezed right past you, so close you could smell them.

As you looked at them, you felt sweat form in the palm of your hands and on your eyebrows. Your heart was racing and your throat started to constrict as your mind was filled with a million thoughts at the same time. Quickly your breathing worsened, and your vision blurred. Were you crying?

"Y/n?" You heard Wanda call from far away.

The world around you started spinning. You tried to grab onto Wanda, but before you could really get any purchase your legs gave way and you were on the ground, having knocked down her sunglasses.

"Y/n!"

Wanda was immediately by your side, her hand on your back trying to support you. In trying to understand what was going on, she allowed herself a peek in your mind. The sheer pain that she felt emanating from you was almost enough to knock her out of your mind before memories and thoughts started to pour in. She put a hand in front of her mouth and a few tears streamed down her cheeks when she saw what happened to you, and finally what had triggered you.

The commotion got the attention of most people around you, including your parents. They stopped to look at what was happening and finally saw you. Your mom took a step back, while your dad stood there with his hands in fists, and your brother was watching with simple curiosity unaware of anything else. There was a clear hesitation on what to do on your father's part, his anger falling into place on his face.

"Get away from her," Wanda growled at them. Only when he saw the red in her eyes did he decide to back off and take his wife and kid with him.

"They're gone, Y/n, they're gone. You're safe," Wanda whispered to you as she took you in her arms, rocking you gently as she rubbed your arm to try and ground you.

Slowly but surely you came back to yourself, and got out of the way to sit against a wall somewhere away from the crowd. You had an icy bottle of water that you applied against the back of your neck as if to cool yourself down. Wanda was sitting next to you, her eyes alert and scanning the crowd like a guard dog.

"I'm sorry," you muttered after a while. You felt guilty about what happened, about the way you just crumbled when you saw them there. You should have been stronger, maybe, sturdier. Wanda simply shook her head at your apology, refusing it.

"Don't, if I saw my parents and brother out of nowhere like that I would freak out."

"It's not the same. I hate them. I wish they were dead," you admitted harshly.

"I don't think it's that different," a very soft Wanda said as she took your hand in hers, playing with your fingers. "They're dead in a way you can't change. In some way, you're also mouning them, mourning what they used to be for you. Your pain is just as real as mine."

You hummed as a form of concession. She put her arm around your shoulder and brought you closer to her, kissing the top of your head. You could feel her heart beat under your head. The reassurance of her presence calmed you for the rest of the trip.

*

Paris was a dream come true. You enjoyed visiting the different places the city had to offer with Wanda, holding hands as you went to the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower during the day, and to restaurants and cabarets at night. But it would be lying to say you didn't stay inside some days to enjoy each other's body and soul. If you stayed in a less well isolated place, you probably would have received a few noise complaints. You had never been this happy in your life, and as for Wanda, her smile was an experience in and of itself with how bright it was when the two of you got to experience life together. It didn't dim even when you were on the plane back to New York.

Back at home, you found a routine between the two of you. You would cook for each other, read together, enjoy the swimming pool, or simply do separate activities in the same room. It was all very domestic and it made you feel like you had found where you were meant to be in the universe. At the same time, you knew this couldn't just keep going like it was perfectly normal. No matter how right it felt to hold her hand, be it innocently or not, this would one day come to an end. You just didn't expect it to happen the way it did. You thought you had more time with Wanda.

*

Vision was in front of Wanda's house's door, having knocked and rang a few times now. He had sent a message an hour ago that he was coming by to get Tommy's guitar, but from the lack of answer to his text and to the door, he guessed that no one was there. With a heavy sigh, he phased through the door. Looked like he was right and no one was there. He went up the stairs and turned left to get to Tommy's room when Wanda appeared from her bedroom, disheveled and in a bathrobe. That made him frown.

"Vision?" She asked, visibly wondering what he was doing there. And he was about to answer when he was able to get a peek in the bedroom and saw your back. His frown deepened.

"Wanda, where is Y/n? I th–" he interrupted himself when he caught a glimpse of you in the window. His eyes widened in shock and at that moment Wanda knew that he knew.

"Don't. Vision!" She exclaimed when he started going down the stairs. She followed him. "You can't tell anyone, Vision."

This felt more like a threat than an amicable request, and the android finally looked back. They were both in the entry now, facing each other.

"I can't tell anyone? Wanda, have you gone mad? This," he pointed towards the bedroom, "is your sons' best friend that you're sleeping with."

"I fail to see how that's any of your business," she answered coldly, crossing her arms.

"For our sons' sake of course it's my business! For Y/n's too for that matter. She's only 20!" Wanda tilted her head at that point.

"A year older than me when we had the twins. She's not a child, Vision."

"Still. Tommy and Billy's best friend."

"That's why you can't tell them," she said more in a whisper than anything. A beat of silence went by before Vision finally said something again.

"Alright. I won't. But you have to do it."

"When the time is right, I promise I will."

Vision nodded at the agreement and finally left the house. Wanda took a few steps back to lean against the wall and close her eyes, taking deep breaths while panic started to settle in. What was she going to do?

You appeared by her side before she could spiral any deeper and you took her hands, looked into her eyes.

"Hey Wans, it's okay, it's gonna be okay," you said in order to reassure her, while you stroke her thumbs. "We're gonna be okay."

She nodded, some tears threatening to spill over. You kissed her cheek and hugged her, bringing her head against your shoulder. You were going to be okay, you tried to convince yourself. Everything was going to be okay.

*

Wanda had been silent most of the rest of the day, her eyes drifting away into nothingness. You left her alone most of the time, only bringing her food and giving her embraces to make her feel better. She would return them but immediately go back to where she was before. It was hard to see her like that. You wished you could take away her doubt and hurt. But you knew it wasn't that easy.

Still, you approached her as she was sitting at the edge of the pool, one leg under her and the other in the water, and sat next to her. Her head fell against your shoulder slowly, her hand found yours, and you intertwined your fingers. The moment felt peaceful despite the turmoil.

"We still have ten days," you whispered to her, swallowing hard at your own words. It was more than you ever hoped to have to begin with.

"I don't think it's enough…" her voice was wavering, and you wished you had a solution for her, something where everyone was happy, but you knew it wasn't possible.

"We could try… I don't know, see how the twins react when we tell them, and go from there." It was a pipe dream that it would go well, but you needed this hope. You needed to think that things could go well and that you'll be happy, because otherwise what was the point?

"Yes, that's all we can do, isn't it?" She nodded and tightened her grip on your hand. That really was all you could do.

With her hand still in yours, you stood up and mustered some courage to offer her a smile.

"Come on, let's get inside and have dinner. I made your favorite."

"Paprikash?" Her eyes lit up and she stood up next to you with your help. You nodded and guided her inside.

Despite everything happening, you managed to have a good time around the table.

*

You were in the living room with Wanda snuggling against you when the door of the house opened and Tommy appeared out of nowhere. You barely had enough time to stand up before you felt his fist come into contact with your face, sending you reeling back against the fireplace. He grabbed you by the collar after that and started yelling right in your face.

"You asshole! How dare you touch my mom?!"

"Tommy!" Wanda exclaimed and grabbed him by the arm, trying to move him away from you without success.

"You come into our home and you take advantage of her like that?!" He brought up his fist to hit you again when a red energy got around him and forced him to walk back away from you.

"Thomas Maximoff! That's enough! I won't tolerate violence under my roof," she ordered, while you were now ready to defend yourself just in case.

"But Mom–"

"I don't want to hear it. If you have something to say, be an adult about it."

"Like you were when you decided to sleep with her?" He pointed out, and you could see the hurt on Wanda's face. If Tommy felt guilty he didn't show any of it. She let him go, and instead of coming after you again, he adjusted his jacket and walked away. "I'm going back to dad's. I'll stay there until she leaves."

He walked by Billy who was waiting in the doorway, looking sorry.

"I'll try to reason with him," he said before he followed after his brother.

Once they both left, you palpated your nose. It was bleeding but it wasn't broken. Wanda grabbed some tissues from the table and tried to stop the bleeding.

"Are you okay Y/n?" She asked rhetorically as the bleeding was coming to a stop. There were no words left in you now, nothing to say to reassure Wanda. Your best friend just clocked you right in the face. The worst had happened, and now you knew exactly the course of action you had to take. You walked back to the sofa and sat down, your hand going through your hair. Your cheek hurt when you finally talked in a broken voice.

"It's over, Wanda," you said flatly. She looked at you from the spot you left her in. She looked away, tears in her eyes.

"I know," she admitted. A few tears fell down her cheek, and finally she joined you on the sofa, sitting close enough for you to brush away the tears. You leaned closer and stole one more kiss from her.

"I love you."

It was the first time you told her, and you knew it was also the last. She embraced you and snuggled her nose against your neck. You could feel the tears slide down against your skin and into your shirt.

"I love you too."

But sometimes love wasn't all that mattered, sometimes you had to protect those you loved. And in order to do that, you had to sacrifice yourself. You closed your eyes. You couldn't allow yourself to cry, or you would never be able to leave. So instead you broke the hug and your heart, and you left the room.

A few hours later, you were out of the house. Out of Tommy and Billy's life. Out of Wanda's life.

It was

The End.

*

It was five years later.

You were sitting at a table in the small coffee shop you always went to between classes, eyes peeled on your laptop's screen. Final week was over and now your real job started as a TA. You had to help grade the exams your students turned in, and you were happy to do so. It was a fulfilling job. You were really focused on it before you noticed someone taking a seat at your table. You frowned, ready to tell that stranger to leave you alone when you recognized him.

"Tommy? What are you doing here?" You asked the young man. He had barely changed since the last time you saw him, he just looked more adult.

"Glad to see you too, Y/n." He picked some of your croissant off your plate and plopped it in his mouth. "To tell you the truth, I just live around here. I didn't think I'd run into you though."

"Why would you, I only go to the University that's around here," you said sarcastically. He somehow laughed at that, before he stole more of your croissant. You swat at his hand so he would stop, you always hated when he did that. "What do you want anyway? Cause I doubt you're here just to steal my food."

"Why not? It sounds like a good plan."

You closed your eyes. Why was he acting like nothing ever happened between the two of you? Like you did nothing wrong? You set your jaw and look at him again. Maybe it was the occasion for you to set things right - or as right as they could be.

"Listen, Tommy… I'm really sorry about the way I betrayed you and Billy. I shouldn't have, it's just…" you took a deep breath. You thought that after five years, you were over whatever happened with the twins, over what happened with Wanda. The truth was… you never got over it. "When I fled from my parents', I was scared, and alone, and… when I met you and Billy, it was like I learned to be brave, but I was never fully a part of you guys. I still felt alone. And then with Wanda…" you remembered the way she used to look at you, like there was nothing else in the room but the both of you, how she would say your name, and hold your hand. You remembered the flecks of gold in the green of her eyes like a forest at sunset. "I didn't feel so alone anymore."

"This is a shitty apology, and a poor excuse," he shook his head. "You don't go out with someone 'cause you feel alone. It's pathetic. You go out with someone because you love them, because it makes you happy. And I know damn well you made my mom happy." That last sentence ended in a guilty whisper. "I guess what I'm asking is: did you love her?"

"I did," there was a pregnant pause, "I do," you admitted, defeated. "But it's too late now."

"Here is the thing… I don't think it's over." You looked at a grinning Tommy, unsure of what he meant by that. He sighed and made it clearer. "You still have a shot is what I mean."

"What about you and Billy?" You asked as your heart was starting to jump in your chest as things got clearer.

"I was the only one with a problem with that. Billy was his usual momma's boy self… which was the right way to react. Which… I'm sorry I hit you."

You massaged your cheeks out of reflex at his apology, then squinted at him. If you understood correctly everything he was saying, that meant… that meant that maybe, just maybe, you still had a shot at happiness five years later.

You stood up and almost toppled your chair. A blush crept up on you when every customer looked at you but you quickly forgot about it.

"I need to go," you told Tommy with determination.

He nodded at you and you left the coffee shop.

*

It was stupid, you thought as you stood outside Wanda's house. During the past five years, the only news you got from Wanda and the twins was when they appeared on the news doing their superhero jobs. Never in a million years you thought you were going to be back in front of the house where everything started - and ended. Nothing had changed. It was the same colonial style house, with the same tree, and the same balcony. You stood there for a good thirty minutes without being bothered by anyone, just observing the house. Reflecting on the past and the present. Until the door opened and Wanda appeared. If the house didn't change, she did; her hair were a fiery red and fell differently around her face now. Seeing her made your hands shake a little. She walked towards you slowly, with her arms crossed around her waist, and stopped right in front of you. Her eyes were greener than you remembered.

"I could feel you from inside," she said without her eyes leaving yours, "I waited for you to approach but you were taking too long."

You looked away, feeling warmth creep on your face as you realized you'd been staring at her. Finally, you managed to find a few words no matter how dry your mouth was.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure… I didn't know if you'd want to see me."

"I don't think I'll ever want not to see you, Y/n," she admitted in a double negative. It was a convoluted way to protect herself, but still, the meaning was there. You smiled slightly and gazed at her again. Your heart was pounding in your chest at this point. You took a piece of paper from your leather jacket pocket. You handed it to her and she took it with a frown, reading what was written on it. "Y/n, what is–"

"It was my turn, wasn't it? To pay for our holidays," you told her so fast you got slightly out of breath.

You awaited her answer.  Wanda swayed left to right, then took a step forward and bit her lip before she finally leaned closer to kiss you. It was short and sweet, and there was still some sadness in it, but it was the promise that she wanted to try and make it all better.

"Let's go on a trip," she said and this time you grabbed her by the waist to kiss her again, and again, and hopefully, a million more times before the end of your holidays.

The End.

[sieglinde-freud]

OH MY GOD?!???

gotta yell about this somewhere so im doing it here

NEW FERDIE ALT VOICED BY RICCO FAJARDO AKA PANDREO’S VA

MY GUYY

WHAT

[hypersomniagame]

HYPERSOMNIA JUNE DEV LOG : “FASHIONABLY LATE”

Hi! I already wrote this entire dev log but I closed the tab by accident, so it's now 10:55pm and I'm going to try and speedrun writing something that took me an hour to write.

For all of you who follow HYPERSOMNIA, you should already know what the gist is here I've been saying this for 6 months.

if you don't know what this is or are confused on what HYPERSOMNIA is read the other dev logs i've said this like every time lol

So, just as a heads up this log isn't going to be super long with new content because I have been insanely busy these last few months! I just graduated High School and the last few months have been me cramming to make sure I pass and could graduate and now I am!!! Yay!!!

I won 2 awards at my grad (One of them being excellence in arts :D) and the other I was given a check for 200$ so I snagged one of these!

Super happy I finally got a display tablet for drawing, I've wanted one of these since I was like 14 and it feels awesome to have one now. I got this thing super cheap too, this thing usually goes for like 300-350 Canadian and I got it for 130! Super super happy about this.

That's all from me personally, but I would like to say just as 1 last thing before the updates, Happy Pride Month to all who identify as LGBTQ+, I myself am queer and just want to remind all of you that you are loved and accepted. Hopefully I can get this out before midnight so it's still pride month LOL

OK! NOW FOR UPDATES! I don't have too much to share today but I do have somethings I want to show off.

First things first, I've been respriting some characters! Ross and Jack are the biggest edits I've made so far so I'd like to show them off.

(Left is old, and right is new!)

Ross' walking sprites were updated! I was kind of dissatisfied with how Ross looks like he's struttin' everywhere so I redid it to give him a more casual walk. I'm very happy with this change and I plan for it to be the base walking animation going forward. I also updated his side profiles slightly to look closer to the key art I illustrated.

Jack also had his idles redone! He I think was the biggest thing I needed to resprite, his old sprite is kind of cluttered and poorly detailed so for his new one I simplified a lot of the shading and reshaped his hair and mask. I think it came out really well.

Also, just earlier I was working on music for the game.

I'm really happy with how this came out, I just got high and made Half-Life music (Which is what I was aiming for LOL)

Hopefully I can get to a point where I can finish off the soundtrack for the demo and post it all. Some friends of mine were a bit sad I delisted the tracks I had up initially so I hope to get those up again soon.

I've also been storyboarding out some early game cutscenes, I can't show a lot because it's all a bit spoiler-y but I will put this in the log.

And one last thing too, THE MOTHER DIRECT!

on July 27 at 6PM ET, MOTHER FOREVER will be hosting the MOTHER Direct, which HYPERSOMNIA is a part of!

There'll be a ton of indie games, fan projects, and other things relating to or inspired by the MOTHER series! Please give it a watch if you can. If you can't make it, the event will remain on MOTHER FOREVER's YouTube channel, and I'll be uploading HYPERSOMNIA's trailer on YouTube, Twitter, Steam, and here. If you do catch the stream or end up watching it after, leave a comment! Tell 'em Ferris sent ya. Do it, or I'll cry. I'm expecting at least 1 "Ferris sent me!" or I'll cry. I swear, I will do it!

If this is your first log you're reading, or even your first time seeing ANYTHING relating to HYPERSOMNIA, I got a whole bunch of links for you to check out if you wanna know more about me and my stupid little game.

TWITTER

YOUTUBE

STEAM

UNIQUE INDIE RPG'S [SHOW US YOUR GAME!]

[PREV] [ABOUT HYPERSOMNIA] [NEXT]

[cattimeswithjellie]

Stream Recap, Rendog 07/09/24

Not too many recaps this week, it's a busy week! I was gone all weekend for my 20th anniversary (yes, I have been married longer than quite a few of you have been alive), and now I have family coming to visit, but here's this Ren stream I started before I left and just finished up. In this stream, Ren gathers material for his autosmelter!

00:00 Ren opens the stream in video-with-music mode, running the countdown clock and bopping around the server to do various pre-stream chores. The title for today’s stream is “Gathering Stuff For A New Project” and Chat is happy to speculate as they filter in.

5:40 Ren turns down the music and greets the chat, welcoming them to the Tuesday stream. It’s been a week since he streamed because the Skulk Crane sucked the life out of him while he was building with it. He vastly underestimated the amount of copper required to make 500 copper trapdoors! He starts the day by checking to see if the shop actually made any money. He would be surprised. There have been no sales. Ren remembers that this is actually the worst permit in the world to have because nobody in the entire world (except Cubfan) ever does anything with skulk! It looks cool on its own but does not go nicely with any other block in the game. The skulk enthusiasts in Chat are hurt by this slander. Ren wishes he’d gotten at least one sale. Gem is doing a magic theme, maybe she will buy some in the future. Terrible sales aside, he’s very happy with the build, which is really very pretty and impressive.

9:50 Ren checks the diorite shop (no sales) and beacons (some sales) and thanks subs and donos. Today’s plan is a new project! He showed Chat a preview last week, but he’s going to build an autosmelting facility! His current facility is terrible and he has to smelt _so much_, so it’s time for a newer, bigger, better smelter. He warns Chat that among other things, the new build needs over 900 quartz blocks, so he’s got his work cut out for him.

13:40 A chatter has been subscribed for 11 months. Ren loves the number 11, it’s his favorite sub month number and also his birthday! He reminds Chat that his birthday is 10/11 and he will be seven years old. That is so old! Chat is impressed. ((It is not clear whether this is just a random bit or whether Ren is counting his age in dog years, which would make him 49 on his upcoming birthday.)) Chat encourages Ren to go to Impulse’s quartz shop and save himself a lot of grinding. Ren says that being an adult is 70% boring and 30% awesome, with the 70% subsidizing the 30.

16:00 Ren begins laying out his workspace. He has done the whole thing in creative already and sent it off to get a schematic made. He hopes to be able to show it off soon! Ren remembers he wants to give Cherrifire and Foxxology the Artist Badge, but he doesn’t know how to do it. Chat helps him out. He does it successfully, he and Chat are very proud. He gives one to Sanistratus as well, then realizes he has no VIPs. How has he been streaming so long with no VIPs? He is the worst streamer ever. He tries to make his Hermit friends VIPs, but none of them are watching right now and can’t be targeted. He tells Chat to remind him, then begins collecting quartz in his Gigaplex villager complex.

21:30 Ren is not sure if he wants to show Chat the finished creative mode version of the autosmelter before it’s really built. He sort of wants to in order to get Chat’s help with naming the building. He thanks more subs and donos and talks with a chatter about their new PC. He greets his mods and welcomes in the new chatters still filtering in. He wants to get as much as possible from the villagers, but he also has a ton of quartz tucked around in random chests that he hasn’t sorted well. Ren spent all his diamonds on copper for the Skulk shop, so he does not really have much to buy Quartz with. He needs 15 stacks of quartz, but he has 16 stonemasons to meet the need.

27:30 Quartz collection is going surprisingly well for the moment, and Ren realizes he may need more to do in this stream. He thinks about completing the tunnel to his farmer trading hall, a project he partially completed and then ran out of juice on. A chatter points out that Ren should be selling conduits, Ren remembers he’s supposed to be selling conduits but wonders if anyone will buy. Chat points out that Impulse wanted a conduit last week but had to make one because no one was selling.

29:30 Ren finishes his quartz collecting and waffles about showing off the autosmelter. Chat wants to see it and Ren lets himself be persuaded. He opens his creative world and quickly faces the sky to preserve the surprise, then turns on shaders for maximum effect. He slowly and theatrically pans downward onto… nothing, because he is facing in the wrong direction. He quickly looks back up and spins around, then pans down onto the beauty and majesty of the new autosmelter. Chat stops laughing long enough to admire the new autosmelter. Ren explains that he didn’t want to just make a big square smelter, his design has an interesting shape and lots of moving parts that make it look cool and satisfying. It’s not a huge smelter, 32 furnaces, and needs to be manually loaded for that Gigacorp feel. He shows chat how the autosmelter works, then notices something is not working in the model smelter and fixes it. The most interesting part of the system is that the furnaces feed into a system of droppers that spit the items out and down through an observation window before being collected into chests.

37:40 Ren smelts a bunch of cobblestone to show Chat how the autosmelter will work. Chat very much likes the way the items rain down and fall into the collection hoppers. He does some troubleshooting on locked hoppers and takes suggestions for names from Chat. “Hyper Ore Thermonator” is a strong contender.

42:50 Ren heads back to the server to hunt for the next ingredient, four stacks of light blue concrete. Ren has three stacks already. He greets other Hermits online (Grian, Zedaph, Skizz) and goes shopping for concrete at False’s shop. In chat, Zedaph remarks that Xisuma’s cam account is hot. Skizz agrees that it is likely the best looking one. Ren explores the shop while thanking subs and donos, he finds that there is no light blue concrete available. He buys white powder and decides to dye it. Chat hears background noise on the stream, Ren says his neighbor is mowing the lawn. He dyes the powder and goes to make the concrete in a pond, then takes a break to fly back to his storage room and fetch a cauldron just to point out how much better it would be if throwing concrete powder in a cauldron would make concrete.

48:00 Chat suggests Giga-HEAT as a potential name, the Hyper-Efficient Alloy Thermonator. Ren likes it very much Ren decides it will be the GigaHEAT-1 or maybe the GigaHEAT Facility. He decides that to keep the lore orderly, he should review all his existing names and see if there’s a way to keep some kind of pattern going. He has the GigaCorp Hangar Bay, the GigaCorp Terra-M1, then the GigaPlex, then the GigaTruck. The naming conventions are a mess! He considers the GigaCorp H.E.A.T Station. (Hyper-Efficient Alloy Thermination) Chat likes the Thermonation Station.

52:00 Ren returns to the storage area and decides that corporate rebranding over time is the cause of the naming differences between builds. He collects white concrete and looks around for the wood to make acacia trapdoors. He doesn’t know why False complains about his storage system, he only had to look in two buildings to find his trapdoors! He gets trapdoors and sandstone slabs, then powered rails. He needs more gold and heads for the gold farm, where there is one single block of gold available. Nothing is spawning in the farm at all. Ren is confused until he remembers that Xisuma is online. When Xisuma is online, nothing works! He flies up to the AFK platform anyway, whereupon piglins begin to spawn. Ren apologizes for his aspersions on Xisuma’s good name. He takes the opportunity for a short ad and bio break.

1:00:20 Ren returns from his break and checks in on the amount of gold that has accumulated. He got 11 blocks of gold in 3 minutes, not bad at all! He doesn’t need tons of gold, so that should do. Ren heads home and thanks subs and donos. He talks with Chat about who does and does not get served ads during ad breaks. Advertising on Twitch is not actually very lucrative. YouTube either, really. He finishes the powered rails and goes onto quartz slab. He might charge at the door for use of the autosmelter, but give free use passes to a few select Hermits. He moves on to quartz stairs, then briefly quails at the 107 hoppers. He convinces himself that it’s not really thaaaat many hoppers, compared to what other people do. He can always lagbust it later.

1:07:40 Off to the Gigaplex for black terracotta. A chatter tells Ren to give himself a compliment. Ren stutters for a moment, then says he’s a pretty good cook. Chat offers many other ideas for compliments. They know many good things about Ren! Chat also wants to talk about baked watermelon again, but Ren hates that. Baked watermelon disturbs him in his soul. Grape soup, too. Smooth quartz is next, but that’s the acutal reason he wants an autosmelter in the first place! He hates smelting quartz. A chatter drops subs, Ren thanks subs and donos. He welcomes the new Gigacorp employees, telling them of the many benefits of working for Gigacorp with only the small caveat of being plugged into a Giga-building for the rest of one’s life. The description of how this happens is nothing Chat wants to hear. Chat does want Gigacorp merch though, so Ren takes Chat down a Google rabbit hole of possible merch designs.

1:18:00 A chatter makes a big donation with a Do-Not-Read message, which accidentally triggers the text-to-speech. Ren dives in and catches it before it gets to far and warns chat that Rosie does not understand DNR and will read any dono above ten pounds. He talks with Chat about trainers and retro shirts in Gigacorp colors. Chat is into it. Ren is Googling without a net, Safe Search turned off, but so far so good. He really likes the 80s style knit polo shirt. Chat thinks it looks like a dad shirt. Ren says of course it does, dads are from the 80s these days. Ren doesn’t have the selling power to do a whole line of merch, but he’s pretty sure he can do one or two things successfully. Chat agrees with merch, but think Dads may also be from the 90s these days.

1:26:00 More materials gathering! Ren has most of the next few things he needs, though he has to smelt even more quartz. He does more farmer trades and buys more quartz. Chat is coming up with more merch ideas for Ren. Ren thinks about a Gigacorp tin lunchbox. Chat is into it. Ren thinks about a Gigacorp calculator. Chat doesn’t think calculators are still a thing. Ren thinks about a Gigacorp Casio Watch. It would be difficult, but would be a cool piece of merch. Economies of scale might not be in his favor. A chatter sends a dono with a gently sarcastic message about how often Ren talks about merch without making merch. Ren admits that is true, but he can’t afford to take a loss on merch. He has to be really careful.

1:36:00 Ren smelts his stairs and thanks subs and donos. Speaking of merch, he has a new exclusive preview for something coming soonish! He can’t show too much and he can’t talk about it, but he can show a little, little bit. He shows Chat an image of what appears to be the top 25% of a plush Rendog, which is mostly a Ministry hat with diamond band, some curly hair, and the top of pointed ears. He tells Chat he will not be answering questions, this is all they get. He is nearly done with gathering supplies, good progress is being made! Ren is better about this than he used to be, getting stuff together first makes it so much easier to build than finding something every time you need it. He is down to items he only needs one stack of, so the gathering is going quite fast now.

1:46:00 Ren reorganizes the shulkers and then goes for the last bit of stuff, including the 32 actual furnaces the autosmelter requires. He realizes he may not have enough redstone, and does a time check with the chat. Some chatters are just waking up (10am Pacific) while some chatters are up very late. He realizes he doesn’t have enough lightning rods, but he cannot possibly give even more money for copper to Xisuma! Xisuma already has all his diamonds! Pearl shows up in Chat and Ren tells her to stay put so he can VIP her. He does so successfully and is satisfied, but does not know if VIP actually does anything. Chat explains that it makes Pearl a Very Important Person. (One clever chatter suggests Pearl is a Vertically Inverted Person) and that it’s basically just a free sub but it also allows her to talk in emote-only chat like mods do. Ren thinks that’s an abuse of power waiting to happen and laughs about it. If Chat bothers him he can make them emote only and only Hermits and mods can talk, perfect! He also thinks about who else he needs to make VIPs, and whether some of the OG chatters should be VIPs. That will be for a future stream.

1:55:00 Back to the item collecting! Except Ren wants to show Pearl the crane he spent all his copper on, and Iskall shows up in chat and needs VIPped! Pearl somehow runs afoul of the automod in Chat and gets timed out, then logs onto the server to tell Ren about it. Ren admits that his Twitchbot is very grumpy and decides to just mod Pearl so she’s immune to the bot. He VIPs Iskall, Jono and Cub. Iskall lets him get some copper from his chests. Ren realizes that nobody can be a VIP and a mod, and that Mod Pearl is no longer VIP Pearl. He does not like this. Chat points out that Mods are Very Important by default. Ren decides to keep Pearl a mod so the automod has no power over her. He realizes he also needs to remod Iskall and Jono. Now it all makes sense! He knows why he has no VIPs, because he makes all these people mods instead!

2:04:00 Back again to item collecting! Ren is deeply, deeply pained at the idea of using waxed copper trap doors for anything. He goes back to the creative world in the hopes that maybe there aren’t actually copper trapdoors in the design, but it turns out they are there and they look cool, so Ren cannot bring himself to exclude them. He shows new arrivals the autosmelter, which is broken again, and fixes it. The torches he placed earlier to unlock the hoppers has broken the loader. He hastily backs out of the creative world and decides he will fix that later. He gathers more items while still complaining about the lack of sense in the mod/VIP dichotomy on Twitch.

2:11:00 Ren needs a bunch of redstone blocks that he definitely doesn’t have. He thanks subs and donos and reminds Chat that he has no diamonds to purchase redstone and redstone components. He collects up all the rest of the things he needs, which are generally in his chests. He notices chat talking about court cases and demands to know if he is being taken to court for anything. He should not be taken to court, he insists, because he always follows all of the rules of the server. In fact, he used to be the king of the server! They can’t take him to court! Chat is not sure, but they are somewhat concerned that Doc might be trying to divorce Ren. Ren thoughtfully considers the possibility of divorcing Doc and suing for half his diamonds. The trial was extremely stressful, after all, and Ren has not been the same person since. The press was also extremely critical of his lawyer’s performance! Chat hates the idea of this divorce and thinks Ren should sue Skizz for emotional distress instead.

2:16:00 Ren gets so caught up in court talk that he breaks one of his soul campfires. He replaces it and threatens to sue Chat for their intimations that his lawyer was wooden. He needs hay bales and goes to sneak some from Beef’s fields. Chat points out that Doc doesn’t have as many diamonds this season because he’s only taking payment in sand. Ren doesn’t really want sand. But Ren’s farms are going great, producing so many pumpkins and melons! Ren does replant the wheat fields, claiming this is one of the great unwritten rules, along with not farting in the bank. Chat may have been breaking that latter rule. Ren is appalled to hear that some chatters also break wind in the cinema. Chat is fascinated to hear that Ren goes into the bathroom to fart. Ren doesn’t want to talk about it and changes the subject to the weather. It’s windy.

2:24:00 Ren grows some acacia trees to get the fence gates he needs, still castigating Chat for their farting habits. Ren has some surprisingly complicated rituals for farting in public. Chat is pleased to be appalling. Ren tries to make a detector rail by memory and gets almost there. He has everything except the redstone blocks that he needs for the GigaH.E.A.T Station. He’s going to build it on top of the chicken coop, which is no longer needed.

2:30:00 Ren drops into the Giga-Truck, has a seat in the driver’s chair and goes to F5 mode to address the Chat. He thanks subs and donos one more time and says it’s time to call it a day. He wants to get an episode out very soon, but the smelter build may take longer than he thought. He thanks Chat, raids into SoupForEloise and ends his stream.

[luci-j]

Okay, since I had a ton of fun with the last ones, some more headcannons of characters from my fic series! <3 This time we're going to focus on Lir Tam-Lin, with some facts, headcannons, and background info.

* He started off as a little bit of a one-off joke I made with a friend who is a FREQUENT head cannon buddy of mine, and I love that for them. Literally just something along the lines of "wouldn't it be funny for Rocket to be walking down a hall at Nova Corps and seeing someone who looks like Meti??"

* His last name, "Tam-Lin," is from an old Scottish ballad that is strikingly close to "Beloved and the Bastard". His first name, "Lir," is that of an Irish sea god. It was kept because it is also the name of Elphaba's son in the "Wicked" series, and that was too much a coincidence to pass up since Meti has basis from this story (down to his mother's voice claim is Idina Menzel!). This is all a loving homage to my headcannoning friend too, since they've been so instrumental in how this series has turned out.

* Speaking of voice claims, his is Timothy Omundson, who played Lassiter on "Pysch". When I write a character, it helps me to have a voice to work with in real life, and Omundson hit a lot of the marks for me with how tense he could sound but also how warm he could be.

* Omundson is a stroke survivor, and while this initially wasn't part of Lir's character, it quickly became one. Anyone who's read at least a little bit of my stuff probably has a handle on the fact showing those with disabilities is a big thing to me. While I have some disability issues of my own (with learning, a few other things), I also have a disabled parent. Seeing things through her eyes made me want to write more characters who were disabled, yeah, but also bad ass.

* Lir is from the planet Hill Temar, is another Celtic reference, this for the Hill of Tara, which factors in a lot of Irish mythology.

* His ship is named the Bán Pangar, which is yet ANOTHER Celtic callout. This is a 9th century Irish poem about a cat.

* Lir is really into Gundam models and mecha anime. His favorite is Gundam Wing, since it was his introduction series, and he is also a fan of things like Big O and Neon Genesis Evangelion

* He also has a soft spot for magical girl anime but would die of embarrassment if anyone found this out

* He was a fan of mecha things from childhood. He grew up in a very pastoral home world, and moving to Xandar was a shock to him. He didn't have many friends, but he always loved going out to watch machines or see ships fly

* Some of his favorite activities when he was a child was bow hunting, fishing, and collecting pebbles by the stream

* He has crow brain, much like Meti does, and loves collecting things

* He may be a little terse with Richard Rider and Sam Alexander, but would also take a bullet for either of them

* His mother is an Eternal. Being part Celestial as well, he has the potential for a lot of power

* While it hasn't been stated in text yet, his mother's name is Morga

* He loves music from anime and JPop. He's stolen away to more than one concert on Earth and watched from a distance

* He credits his dexterity to building models. While he does have exosuits that allow him movement with both hands, he still prefers using one hand to work. It's mostly out of habit now.

* Loves his weapons. Being a sharpshooter is what initially got him noticed by Nova Corps. Being a natural tacticle genius is what got him thrown into the position of Nova Prime. He actually has a lot of respect for Rocket, even if they butt heads a lot.

* A bit lonely and has trouble expressing it! His wife is also the only woman he ever dated, and he was about 27. He has a hard time opening up to people, but really wants to make a connection

* Loves kids and babies and is a natural with them. This is something he gets from his mother

* Owns about ten different outfits. Wants to branch out in his style currently, but doesn't know where to begin. With being half Meti, there is hope for him.

* A hopeless romantic at heart and a bit shy about it. Poor guy. <3

[erigold13261]

:3 have some more headcanons

1. Joust and Quinda used Tatiana to cook food when the ghoulings were on tour

2. Remi and Zuke love Spiderman, you bet these two fangirled over spider verse

3. Mayday got Purl into MLP and we can all guess who his favor characters are (Obviously Twilight and Luna)

4. West got Mama to laugh once, she hissed at him out of anger but he saw Purl Hew and Yinu hiss at each other as a greeting so he thought it was a family thing and hissed right back in, honestly the most pathetic manner Mama had ever heard. That got her to think maybe this guy isn't all bad...

5. Eve and Dodo love obscure animated movie and shows

6. Eloni is huge Hollow knight and Undertale fan, she even wrote a bit of fanfiction

7. Nova watches lots of sci-fi movies and shows and will criticize any major inaccuracies

8. Sayu actually went to Hot topic a few times it's a nice place and ze owns a few items from there

9. Cyril's first fictional crushes were Venom and Rouge don't judge him!!

1). I just imagine the two trying to cook those popcorn stove top popcorn packages on her head as she sleeps in the tour bus or van and it not working because she isn't hot enough. But they keep trying and she wakes up and gets mad, making her fire light up and she just burns and melts the popcorn and container lol!

Joust and Quida still end up eating it because Quida can eat the plastic covered popcorn while Joust actually likes burnt popcorn. Elivy stayed far away from the whole mess, but got an earful from Kul Fyra as she complained to him.

2). It's a damn good movie! Of course they would love it! But also I can see Zuke having old comics that are torn at the edges from years of rereading and he brings them over one day for him and Remi to read together.

3). I actually would think Haym would, but honestly seeing both Haym and Mayday sit Purl down to watch MLP would be hilarious. I do agree that Purl would love Luna, but I am not sure about Twilight. Her behaviours, at least in early seasons, would make them not really like her. But they would probably come around, especially after she became a princess.

4). Her just full on with an enraged face hissing at West with absolute anger, and he just hisses back with happiness and a smile but also a really weak and shitty hiss as he's never really hissed before. Of course she would be so confused and flabbergasted that she would just start laughing. Confusing West as she literally walks away as she can't even talk for like 5 minutes.

West honestly thinks he somehow hissed out a joke or something that Mama understood and is so confused. He ends up asking Purl and Yinu, which gets Yinu to laugh a little and explain that Mama is not like them and only hisses in anger, so he literally just confused her into laughter. West apologizes to her and she tells him it's alright.

5). I have very little knowledge of what shows would be obscure, but I can totally see them sitting down and watching weird animated shows. One I remember is like called "Spliced" and I can see them watching that. With like horrified faces at times but still not stopping because they are interested in the strangeness.

Remi never understood this and finds the animation for a lot of these so bad or ugly that he can't even hate-watch these cartoons. But he will listen/watch Dodo and Eve talk about the shows after they are done watching them.

6). Yeah... Yeah I can see that, lol. Honestly they would read TONS of fanfictions for all kinds of games, but only write for a few that really peak their interest, So Undertale is definitely one of them (I don't know much about Hollow Knight but what I have seen would make me feel like Eloni would also write fanfics for it).

For other media though, she would definitely do deep dive analyses. I can imaging her having a whole youtube channel using computer generated voice (that sounds nice, the same one she uses for streams because thinking words into existence is easier than physically speaking for her) and would just have hours to DAYS of analysis content for all kinds of games, shows, and other media.

7). And you better believe that Zimelu is right there beside them asking all kinds of questions. The two will have a 6 hours movie session and only get through one 1.5 hour movie lol.

8). I am literally working on a punk design for all the NSR characters specifically because I wanted to make punk/goth Sayu lol! But oh yeah, totally ze would have stuff from there.

I have a ton of pink skirts and cutesy stuff, so I can see that getting mer into the store but then ze would love one of the darker more goth-y clothes and boom! Sayu is going through a goth phase! And the other mermaids are now following along (also Tila and Sofa lol).

9). Yes! Monster-fucker Cyril is definitely something I thought of before lol! He definitely has weird tastes. Monster and robots are some of them haha.

I swear, he told Purl that if somehow GLaDOS was real he would break up to be with her. And Purl said not to worry because they would do the same thing! The two just have such weird tastes and definitely share them together.

And then there's West not seeing the appeal in a lot of these crushes they have.

[silkjade]

hello!!! i really enjoy reading ur writing~ like, from the wedding dates post it was love at first read hehe pls keep it up!!

n e wayz, i just got back from a medical operation (it was successful!!) and would it be alright to request some hcs of how diluc, childe, itto, thoma, and al-haitham (separately) would take care of an s/o who’s recovering post-op??? no pressure ofco ^-^

glad your op was successful, anon! ^^ wishing you a smooth and speedy recovery!

genshin men taking care of you after a medical operation

⤀ Featuring— diluc, childe, itto, thoma, al-haitham (written pre-release)

⤀ gn!reader, modern au, mentions of medication, use of pet names (babe)

DILUC

he’s taking as much time off as he possibly can to spend with you. if he really can’t be home atm, he’s got his whole team of staff behind him so you’re never alone

the first few days might be rough because of the pain so he tries his best to keep your mind off of it by telling you embarrassing stories of himself, kaeya, and jean from when they were kids

if you need to just vent, diluc’s a great listener; he listens to all your complaints without offering any solutions so go off!

he changes your bandages with the tenderest of touches and places a feather light kiss on top when he’s finished

he isn't really one for television, but will watch with you if you are; who knows he might even get just a teeny tiny bit invested in the reality show you're watching. he doesn't mean to but he'd make the funniest comments (underrated comedian)

but.... he would enjoy doing puzzles with you like a 500 piece puzzle because the 1,000 piece ones can get kind of messy

his driver takes you to all your follow-up appointments so that he can stay with you in the back himself

when you’re well enough, he takes you on short strolls through his vineyard, with your arm linked through his and your head resting on his shoulder. it’s ok you can lean on him, he’s strong

CHILDE

this man has a big family, he is well versed in the art of caretaking. and yet they still show up with a ton of homemade food, remedies, supplies, etc because you’re basically already one of them

he’s actually really strict on making sure you follow discharge instructions, like anything that strays off, it’s:

“sorry, not until we get the doctor’s approval at your next appointment”

childe keeps you up-to-date with all the new tech stuff, so you guys basically have a smart room. ‘alexa dim the lights’ ; ‘alexa turn on the tv’ etc. and he definitely has all the streaming services so you never run out of things to watch

if you’d rather play video games, he’ll let you win without making it super obvious

some oral medications can be a pain to swallow so he makes sure to give you lots of little kisses as a reward

on the more difficult nights, he’ll lay in bed next to you, propped on an elbow with his other hand playing with your hair. it’s very calming especially when he hums and softly sings you snezhnayan lullabies

100% will cook and clean and do the dishes, but doesn’t really want to leave you alone while he goes to the store, so he’s been instacarting almost all your groceries. don’t worry about the expenses though, it’s on him he says as he pulls out his work credit card (it’s actually on pantalone; he texts you that he’ll turn a blind eye to these charges so consider it your ‘get well soon’ gift)

ITTO

itto is very eager to take care of you since it’s usually the other way around; he’s so grateful you trust him in such a vulnerable state, he just wants to do his best and show you how much he loves and appreciates you

....so he definitely wrote to ms. hina for advice the moment you scheduled your operation

before he goes in to pick you up, he’s in the hospital parking lot giving his boys a speech like

“be extra careful around them and mind what you say alright?” you know this because shinobu recorded it and sent it to you

of course they volunteered to help out with daily errands so that their boss can focus on taking care of you

he brings you flowers when picking you up and a silly little ‘get well soon’ card that makes you laugh because it has a dumb pun

to show solidarity, if you're on a strict dietary plan... he's on a strict dietary plan

your comfort is super important to him so it is a no judgment zone here; maybe you feel weird about things like going to the bathroom or taking sponge baths, but itto is sure to completely reassure you there’s nothing to be embarrassed about

“nothing to be worried about babe, it’s all part of the process. I know what I signed up for”

THOMA

he decorates your home as a surprise! just a little something to brighten it up since you’re going to be stuck indoors for awhile

pampers you and treats you like royalty. once you arrive home, all the house chores are already done, your pillows are fluffed, need anything? he’s at your beck and call

makes the best homemade meals— delicious, nutritious, and follows any dietary guidelines

also has some ready in the fridge to heat up just incase you get hungry while he’s out running errands

definitely bought those little pill boxes that have the days of the week on them so you have all your meds organized already. he refills them for you weekly too

he's good at reading your moods, so he can easily tell whether you want his company or whether you want some space; he doesn't mind either way, whatever you need

thoma is an overall very upbeat person and keeps a positive mindset, however... sometimes it can get a little...too much? a little overwhelming? but! he understands how frustrating the recovery process can be so he takes it like a champ when you get a little snappy with him

AL-HAITHAM

he’s a nerd and a perfectionist, he read up on everything; your procedure, any medications, side effects, recovery, etc and still bombards the doctors and nurses with questions

honestly he is a little nervous since you’re in a delicate state and he doesn’t have a lot of experience as a caretaker

makes you take your medications at the exact hour you’re supposed to; every 12 hours? he’s hounding you at 8am and 8pm sharp

shhh he doesn’t know this but you accidentally caught him on the phone with an old acquaintance from liyue, scribbling down the recipe for an herbal nourishing soup

on your better days, he pampers you by not letting you skip your nightly skincare routine and even applies it for you

can be a bit of a mother hen which is a pretty stark contrast to his usual, more aloof personality. it’s a mental game you’re playing with yourself, counting the amount of times he peeps in to check on you

finally you call him over and he does the thing where he kneels by your bedside to hear what you have to say

“can you just…lay here with me for a bit…?”

and so he does and tells you about his research and projects until he realizes you’ve fallen asleep

© silkjade — do not steal, plagiarize, translate or repost any content onto any other platform

[0darkonyx0]

Are you my Dad?

A/N: I'll probably write more in this universe but it wont be as lengthy cause this ideas was just very cute and I still have ideas. This also was BARELY proofread

Summary: When Techno was going to search that abandoned fallout shelter he did not expect much but what he wasn't expecting was a child

(Nuclear Apocalypse/Fallout AU)

Platonic! Technoblade x Child! reader

Word count:1.8k

Warnings: apocalyptic themes?

This kind of apocalypse is based off the fallout games also TECHNODAD

--

To be fair, Technoblade didn't think this would happen. He had been on his way back from a job when discovered this old abandoned  fallout shelter.  He decided to go and search it for any supplies it had. Techno hadn't really expected much knowing that raiders most likely got to it before he had. But what he wasn't expecting was a seemingly alive child inside a cryogenic chamber.

‘Child pog...ORPHAN..Blood for the Blood god...take them… BLOOD.. ’ 

Techno tuned out the voices as they badgered on and on. He then scanned over the rest of the room. There were about a dozen chambers and the data tablets all showed them to be flatlined except the one with the kid. They looked no older than 4 years old from what he could tell. He didn't bother with it so he proceeded to go back to searching for anything useful and was about to exit the room until he heard a mechanical hissing sound from behind him. Alarm bells rang as his instincts went off, and he pulled out his pistol, turned around and aimed only to see the child that was once in the cryo chamber out in the open air staring up at him with unaware doe eyes. Techno realizing that there was no danger, slowly put down his weapon as he watched as the kid stumbled on their feet like a newborn deer due to them only coming unfrozen not even a minute ago. Once the kid got stable footing, they walked over to Techno and gazed up at him in curiosity. “Hullo” muttered Techno, looking down at them. The kid continued to blink up at him in curiosity, head tilted as he continued “What are you looking at?” He then crouched down to the kids level and tilted his head back at the kid. The kid proceeded to stare at him in curiosity until unexpectedly, the kid reached out and touched their hands to his face, gripping onto his tusks and touching his mutated features confused since they were different from their own. He almost thought he felt his heart squeeze a little at the kid's small hand curiously felt his face. He gently moves and pries the kids hands from his tusks  and face and stands back up.

 ‘Little baby…. SO SMALL…. ADOPT….E...EW ORPHAN…PROTECT..’ 

As the voices cooed , Techno huffs and  goes on his way to the door and exits the room. He held his weapon out at the ready since creatures tended to wander around fallout shelters especially abandoned ones. As he walked through halls, he could hear the tapping of small feet following him, very different sounding from his own hooved feet. Looking over his shoulder he saw the curious eyes from earlier peeking out from a corner. This proceeded to happen several times and with each time it amused him more and more. The kid followed him around like a duckling would  as he searched through the room in the vault. He had been in the medical bay, looking around when he heard a small yelp of fear behind him. He turned in urgency and saw the child, cornered by a adroach  with it trying to bite them. In urgency he pulled out his modified bat and killed it. The kid was clearly terrified, with tears streaming down their face. Once they noticed it was dead they ran over to him hiding their face into Techno’s body, clinging to him. Techno went still, not knowing what to do. He slowly patted their back in an attempt of comfort. “..It's okay…?” Techno said, unsure if that would be any help to console the child that was currently clinging to him. It seemed to work because slowly the kid stopped crying ‘TECHNOSOFT…..PROTECT…..BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD...TECHNOPROTECT…’

 When the kid was calmed down enough techno tried to pry his shirt from the kids tight grip but they wouldn't budge. He had almost had the kid pried off of him but the kid looked as if they were about to cry again and decided not to try anymore. Techno signed and looked down at the clinging child and said reluctantly “Seems like you’ll be traveling with me for now, since you obviously can't take care of yourself..” ”The name is Technoblade.. You got a name?” he asked. “(y/n)...” the kid muttered out , it being muffled due to their face still being pushed into his pants. Technoblade didn't see the point of searching anymore due to the addition to his party and for the fact that there wasn't much of anything. “C’mon kid.. You need to let go. I can't move properly with you clinging to my leg like that” Techno told the kid. The kid looked reluctant but did so now only holding Techno’s wrist. He let the kid do it.  Pulling the kid along he navigated his way with the help of his modified Pip Boy to the entrance he came in which happened to be the vault door that is in mangled bits. He gently pulled the kid along to the opening where they both could see a dirt tunnel with sunlight at the end. “Let's get going, kid” Techno ushered them along the path to the dirt tunnel until they exited. Techno shielded his eye from the sun with his hand. It didn't affect him much since he only was down there for a couple of hours but it affected (y/n) the worst since they were hiding their face into Techno’s body. Once their eyes got used to the brightness of the sunlight they slowly peeked out and removed their face from techno’s body. Checking his surroundings  he looks down at his Pip Boy’s map to see how long it would take to get to the nearest town. His main mission was to get back to L’Manburg so he could get his payment for the job he took. The closest town was a few hours on foot and L’Manburg was even longer, being a couple of days away. He sighed looking down at the kid, the kid looked back up at him. “You ready?” Techno asks and the kid nods their head aggressively giving Techno a toothy bright smile. ‘I'm so done for’ Techno thought, feeling his heart squeeze tighter than before.

--------------

 It was 2 and a half hours into the walk when (y/n) started to slow down tiredly. Their eyes drooped tiredly, not wanting to walk anymore they tugged on Techno’s sleeve. Techno stopped and looked down at them. “What?” Techno asked. (y/n) looked up and made a grabbing motion upward, signaling they wanted up. “mm..sleepy..Teh-no bade..” they muttered tiredly and pouted. Internally he totally wouldn't admit his heart absolutely melted at the kid's  sleepy actions and how they said his name. He almost didn't pick up the kid but he fought against that thought and picked them up in his arms ,holding them with one. Once in his arms the kid nuzzles into his neck.

‘TECHNODAD...DADNOBLADE...AWWWW…..SO CUTE….LITTLE DUCKLING..TIRED LITTLE ONE...’

His heart almost certainly exploded. ”It’s pronounced Tech-no-blade” He quietly corrected, smiling slightly down at the kid that was slowly falling into slumber. For the short amount he has spent with this kid he just knew he wouldn't be able to leave them, no matter how hard he would try. He’d protect and care for them until he couldn't anymore.

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The trip was quite chaotic but they finally made it to L’Manberg. He comes to find out on this trip that once (y/n) got more comfortable with him they seemed to be more talkative and even more curious than before.  They were quite the chatterbox, babbling about anything and constantly asking questions about anything and everything even if they aren't the best at speaking. Usually the senseless talking would annoy him since he had grown up with Tommy but he found it endearing in a way. It grew to be the same thing with Tommy as well. Now that they are at the destination he can get his payment for the job ,maybe buy some things for the youngling and pick up some more bounties and jobs. Currently the kid is perched on his shoulders having the time of their life, them having never been up so high. They were giggling lots, gripping onto his dull pink hair to stay upright. They were quite the duo as they were gaining a ton of stairs. A little human getting a shoulder ride from a 7’8 mutated half pigman that is known as the Blood God. Techno could care less since he can just give a small glare and they would run away due to his status around here. He needed to get his payment jobs from the broker at the Las Nevadas bar so he could get back on his way but he first needed to drop off the kid at his home.  Techno proceeded to change course to his residence. He started to walk off in the direction of his house. The little one on his shoulders had long since gone quiet until they piped up with a question. 

“Where are we?”

“We’re going to my house”

Once his eyes caught the sight of the door to his home he lifted the kid off his shoulders and set them down on the ground. Pulling the keys out to the lock, he opens the door and guides (y/n) in. Once he closed the door behind them (y/n) let go of his hand and ran off to explore their new environment. Not long after he soon heard the tapping of claws on wood coming rapidly towards him. The thing that had been  making all the running towards him had come into sight as his dog Floof came barreling towards him.  Crouching down with a small smile, he meets the dog on the floor and gives him all the pets he couldn't give him when he was out. Once he looked up he noticed the kid tugging at his sleeve while looking at Floof in curiosity and slight apprehension. “..What's dat?” they asked, still looking at Floof. “This is Floof, my dog” “Oh” they nod in understanding. “He won't bite, don't worry. ”He reassures them. The apprehension from before completely disappears and courage is shown as they bend down and pet the dog the same as how they saw Techno do it.  Techno looks at them in straight fondness unexpectedly. Honestly he thought he didn't really like children all that much but when he met the little one somewhere deep inside instantly would kill for the kid and it got attached. ”I'm going to go out for a bit, be good both of you and stay here, ok?” He tells them. (y/n) and pulls their attention back to Floof and gives it all their attention. His mouth upturns slightly and he proceeds to leave his home to get his money for his bounty.

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Taglist: @strawberrymilkgeorge​ @struggling-with-time @bugsinmycoldsoup

[heloflor]

Cartters and why it grew on me as the show went on

Aka “A recap/analysis of the evolution of Cartman and Butters’ friendship, mostly seen from Cartman’s angle, and why it eventually led me to ship Cartters despite their incredibly rocky beginning,” but that’s too long of a title.

THIS POST WAS WRITTEN BEFORE “STREAMING WARS” CAME OUT. AS OF YET, I HAVEN’T WATCHED THOSE SPECIALS SO NO MENTION OF THEIR EVENTS WILL OCCUR. Let’s see how well this post aged in the span of one special, shall we ?

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Tl;Dr : Like every Cartman relationship, his friendship with Butters is a very interesting relationship to explore, especially on Cartman’s side given how much he grew to appreciate the blond and let him get close to him, on top of slowly learning how to be a “decent” friend to him, leading to them becoming best friends starting with S17.

Though, the relationship still has tons of baggage from all the trauma Cartman subjected Butters to. And while Cartman has been shown to become a better friend towards Butters, it does leave the question of how much is Cartman capable of changing for a friend and, as a result, how healthy can their friendship become.

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First things first, as said in this post, I’ve known South Park for years, watched the full show almost two years ago and recently got back into the fandom as a lurker, looking up meta.

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So, when I got back into South Park two years ago, I found myself starting to ship St//yle and Cartters (and for some reason I really like those relationships as one-sided, or as I like to call it “Stan and Cartman pining after straight guys” but that’s not the topic here).

While the former didn’t surprise me since I love the “best friends to lovers” trope, the latter really did. I mean, I don’t like Ky//man due to how abusive it is, and yet here am I shipping Cartman with the kid he had tortured the most throughout the show.

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Although, I actually don’t want Cartters to be canon, or at least not now. I’d much rather see them focus on growing a healthy friendship, or at least as healthy as someone like Cartman is capable of, before even considering the idea of a romance.

Fun fact about that actually : when I got into SP back then, I didn’t look up Cartters stuff because I felt weird about shipping it. But back in February, when the interest for the show came back, I jumped right into that ship.

And after seeing many posts about this relationship + thinking about it a bit, I realized that they do have a meaningful relationship (that has no right being this wholesome for someone like Cartman but I digress). That’s what we’re going to talk about here.

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Btw, I hope I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes with this post since I don’t intend to actively participate in the fandom…

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This post will be cut in three main parts :

Firstly, the evolution of their relationship throughout the show, specifically how Cartman grew fond of Butters, with a few precisions on some episodes. This part is the longest and literally makes for about half the post

Secondly, a few words about what I interpret their sexualities to be, in particular talking about Cartman and his obsessive behavior.

Finally, what the two currently think of each other with a few ideas on how their friendship can develop + one last part about my opinion on other Cartman and Butters ships in case people are curious.

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Oh yeah and because I don’t want to make too many SP posts, some stuff won’t be that related to the topic but it’s still stuff I wanted to infodump about. So expect this post to be a bit off-topic at times.

Btw, a lot of stuff here was already said by other blogs before, but I still wanted to “compile” all I learned about these two and their relationship, on top of adding my own views on it.

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Have a Google Doc version since it’s probably much easier to read

VERY, VERY LONG POST AHEAD ! I’m talking close to 20k words !

(Oh and for those asking, the dots in-between paragraphs are due to my blog theme doing weird shit with spaces. Since this post would be way too bothersome to read without spaces, I’m not taking chances.)

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1. The evolution of their friendship

  Alright so, despite being a show that prides itself on comedy and satire first and foremost, South Park has quite some character development there and there (Stan and Kyle’s friendship, the 4th grade going from the whole class being bullies to only two of them, stuff like that). And one of the things that evolved is the relationship between Cartman and Butters, which was also impacted by Butters’ own character development.

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Speaking of which, a quick side-note about Butters’ character development to make it shorter afterwards (yes we’re starting off with something off-topic, that’s how much this post derails 😓) :

- In seasons 1-3, Butters was a non character. He was just prop that could be used there and there. Sometimes he was a bully, sometimes a victim. His name wasn’t even Butters back then.

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- Season 4 and especially season 5 is when Butters’ personality started to take form, with him being at the bottom of the social ladder, being viewed as the lamest kid in class and being bullied by everyone else.

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- Seasons 6-11 are basically the “Butters torture” seasons, with Butters being the punching bag of the show and always getting in trouble or suffering due to others. We could see him try to stand his ground there and there, but he always immediately fell back to being compliant. A good example of that is the phone call in “Majo//rine”.

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- Seasons 12-15 is when Butters starts standing up to himself, with the best examples being “Butters Bottom Bitch” and “Super Fun Time”. He’s still a victim that gets taken advantage of by the others, but he’s slowly growing. He’s also starting to be more of a douche/bully like in “The List”.

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- Season 16, more specifically “Butterballs” and “Going Native” is when Butters became the kid we now know him to be. A gentle and sweet kid who’s also an unhinged piece of shit that can go apeshit at any point. He’s also the only bully the grade has left along with Cartman, and grew to be quite the corrupted businessman. Like, compare him trying to do telemarketing in “Kenny Dies” (S5) to his ability to copy Cartman’s tone perfectly in “Go Fund Yourself” (S18).

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Now, onto the relationship between the two :

So, when the show started, their relationship was absolutely horrendous, there’s no denying that. Cartman was constantly messing with Butters for shit and giggles and got the kid tortured and almost killed quite a handful of times. Seriously, if I were to make a “top 10 worst things Cartman has ever done”, most spots would absolutely be stuff related to Butters (not the first 3-4 spots tho. Stuff like using Cthulhu, the Tenorman incident or the therapist’s wife murder are in my eyes much worse, especially the Cthulhu stuff).

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At that time though, there are already three notable things about Cartman :

1. The way he’s constantly thinking about messing with Butters specifically, plus the way he always seeks his help despite having kids like Clyde who’s just as easy to manipulate, does show that Cartman already had an unhealthy obsession with the kid. Yeah, Kyle isn’t the only one Cartman’s obsessed with.

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2. While I don’t consider “Awesome-O” to be a Cartters episode per say (Cartman was only being nice out of desperation for the tape, Butters had no idea it was Cartman and expressed anger towards the kid at the beginning), it is worth noting that Cartman never tries to get back at Butters for showing the tape to everyone.

And yes, the show doesn’t have that big of a continuity, but Cartman doesn’t even threaten Butters about it at the end of the episode. He just accepts defeat, as if capable of feeling some sort of “respect” when someone is doing something vengeful and clever, at least enough respect not to get revenge for it.

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3. In “Douche and Turd”, there’s that moment when the kids are in the gymnasium and Cartman insults Kyle, with Butters quickly parroting Cartman’s words before the two share a glance. In that scene, Cartman raises an eyebrow while smiling, as if thinking “I can use this”.

Makes me wonder if this is the moment Cartman realized Butters would always help him with his schemes, hence why he started latching onto that kid instead of asking any other gullible kid.

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Then, a few seasons later, we get to “The Death of Eric Cartman”, the episode with the ending that made me go “sigh…I’m going to start shipping these two, aren’t I…?” (although, despite seeing potential, I was barely into the ship at that point)

In this episode, Cartman thinks he’s dead because everyone is ignoring him, but Butters didn’t get the memo. As a result, the two spend the whole day together with Butters helping Cartman “move on”.

By the end of it, there’s that speech Cartman gives Butters about how the two of them became friends. And while Cartman immediately takes it back upon realizing he’s alive, it doesn’t change the fact that he seemed sincere when he gave that speech.

As a result, it really feels like this episode was the key moment when Cartman realized Butters isn’t that bad and can be kind of fun to be around. It feels like it’s past that point that Cartman starts softening up, at least a little bit.

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Following on this, you have “Smug Alert”, in which Cartman ends up trusting Butters with his life…sorta. Cartman goes into San Francisco with Butters being his only contact and way out, trusting Butters to pull him back once he reaches Kyle.

Btw, about that, can we take a second to appreciate Butters in this episode ? No because we always talk about Cartman saving Kyle, but not only did Butters help as well, he was just as much in danger as the two when the storm hit ! And Butters didn’t even particularly like or care for either of them at that point. He could’ve easily left them both to die, but he didn’t !

But yeah, long story short, between Cartman trusting Butters with something so important + him asking Butters to keep secret at the end, it seems that this episode really cemented Butters as Cartman’s sidekick/second-in-command, with Cartman not only going to him for any task moving forward but also letting him know the important details of his schemes, growing his trust for the kid.

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Then you have “Tonsil Trouble”. It’s not that big of a moment but it is worth mentioning how Cartman doesn’t immediately kill Butters right after the boy kisses him on the cheek in public. And on top of that, later on, Cartman asks Butters’ help to get inside Kyle’s room despite Cartman himself admitting he’s done it many times, meaning he doesn’t actually need help.

Tbh, I could definitely see Cartman feeling lonely at times during his schemes, and since Butters is quick to agree to help, he’s probably using it as an excuse to have some company. “Jewpacabra” is another good example that further fuels this headcanon.

Oh and after that, when Kyle says that Butters told him about sneaking into his room, Cartman gets mildly annoyed about it and doesn’t try to get back at Butters for it.

Again, not really big moments but it does seem like Cartman is at the very least seeing Butters as useful enough to tolerate and keep around, even if he gets annoyed with the kid.

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After that, you have “Super Fun Time”, another episode that’s pretty big when it comes to their relationship. This episode is the first time Butters really stands up for himself against Cartman, tho it’s a bit sad he’s only doing it in fear of punishment.

In this episode, there’s one moment I especially like : when they arrive at the “Phun Time” place, Cartman tries yet again to pry Butters off in fear of people calling them gay. After some struggle, Cartman lets out a “Jesus Christ” while having an expression showing that he’s actually understanding that he’s not getting out of there. And after that, he stops arguing about the hand and even tries to include Butters in his activities.

Basically, Butters sets a boundary in this episode and sticks to it, forcing Cartman to work around it instead of blasting his way through it like he usually does. That’s why I like this scene so much, it’s the moment we see Cartman realizing he has to compromise this time around if he wants to have his fun. In other words, Butters holds a bit of power over Cartman, as little as it might be, and it’s great to see it.

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There’s also the moment when they get back and see the police. Butters starts crying about how much trouble they’re about to be in while Cartman tries to calm him down so that they can sneak back in. What’s interesting here is that Cartman seems to feel genuine guilt about making Butters cry. Or at the very least he seems to be aware that he’s responsible for Butters’ tears and isn’t happy about it.

In any case, we see Cartman being capable of feeling some sort of regret after hurting another person.

For those asking : what makes me say Cartman shows regret is the sad expression he has after Butters “punches” him + after Butters explains why he’s not letting go of his hand.

Hell, while you could say that the first face is out of surprise from Butters punching him, Cartman was arguing about the hand in the second moment but immediately stops and caves to Butters’ demands, really making it seem like he feels guilty.

(Btw, it’s off-topic but Butters is the absolute MVP of this episode. Him throwing Cartman at the armed guy in frustration was especially delightful to see ! Stan showing off his dorky side was great too !)

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Last thing about this episode : I’ve seen people make jokes about how Cartman spends the entire episode bitching about holding Butters’ hand, but then the very next episode is “The China Problem” which has Cartman holding Butters’ hand while the kid is taking a bath. And joke aside, I do find it interesting that Cartman went so quickly to Butters and even trusted him with a gun.

Basically, despite SP not being about character arcs, if you view it from a “character development” point of view anyways, the fact that those two episodes are back-to-back really makes it seem like Butters’ badass actions in “Super Fun Time” left an impact on Cartman, hence why he would trust the kid with a deadly weapon or why he’s so disappointed about him shooting guys in the dick.

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Following this, in seasons 12-14, you have a few moments that aren’t particularly big but show Cartman being more chill. For example, you have his reaction to the “hickey” in “The Ungroundable”, which was pretty tame coming from Cartman. There’s also him being the one holding the gift in “Eat, Pray, Queef” when the 4th grade boys visit Butters, or Cartman being more sad than angry in “The Tale of Scrotie Mcboogerballs” when Butters tells the main 4 off.

Along with that, you have Butters growing more confident but also becoming more of a bully, which likely brought the duo closer by making Butters not be at the bottom of the social ladder anymore, all the while getting on Cartman’s good side (obviously him always being present in Cartman’s schemes helps as well).

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Then you have another important episode : “Poor and Stupid”.

Thing is, while Cartman can be very pathetic at times in front of the other kids, he’s also a very prideful person. But in this episode, there’s that scene where Cartman ends up in the hospital due to his own stupidity. And while he’s here, Butters is by his side, still encouraging him and comforting him, not once showing any negative judgment for what happened.

As a result, it feels like this episode is when Cartman realized that he can open up emotionally to Butters, which is seen later on in “Cartman finds Love”.

On top of that, there’s the fact that Cartman got rid of his plushies in “1%”, and said episode cemented that the plushies were Cartman’s emotional support. So once they’re gone, he needs another way to get support.

And yes, I know in “The Return of Chef” we see Butters at Cartman’s house to comfort him, but he barely approached the guy + Cartman didn’t confide much in him that time around.

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And finally, starting with seasons 16-17, especially 17, Cartman and Butters became best friends, with Cartman especially showing a lot more appreciation for the kid than you’d expect from him.

Btw I say especially S17 because, while Cartman is nicer in S16 as well, this season also ends with “Obama Wins”, in which Cartman tries to kill Butters for betraying him so that’s a big yikes. The fact that it was the last time he tried killing him doesn’t make it any less ok.

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Now, since their relationship hasn’t evolved that much since S17, let me give a compilation of moments from post-S16 episodes in which we see Cartman being a softie for this kid :

- Informative Murder Porn : The kids learn about their parents playing Minecraft through Butters explaining how his dad killed his mom. As he’s talking, he’s crying on the ground, with both Kenny and Cartman by his side putting a comforting hand on his shoulders. So we get to see Cartman trying to comfort Butters, aka trying to be there emotionally for him.

What’s also interesting here is the facial expressions. While Kenny is looking at Butters with a saddened expression, Cartman has an eyebrow raised. My interpretation of this, especially compared to the crying scene in “Super Fun Time”, is that the reason why Cartman is raising an eyebrow is because he doesn’t feel bad for Butters.

After all, Cartman is either a narcissist or a sociopath. Either way, it means he has incredibly limited empathy/sympathy/compassion. In “Informative Murder Porn”, Butters is crying due to something his parents did, aka something that has nothing to do with Cartman. So Cartman is physically incapable of feeling bad for Butters. Hence the mention of “Super Fun Time” since Cartman was responsible in this case and felt guilty.

But despite not feeling bad, Cartman still cares about Butters, so he puts a comforting hand on his shoulder nonetheless because he wants the kid to feel better.

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Another thing about this episode I’ve seen people point out is the fact that Cartman only takes the lead after seeing Stephen losing it, making it seem like he’s doing it for Butters (and possibly Stan since we see Randy messing around as well). But tbh it feels like a bit of a stretch ?

Idk, Cartman’s a bit weird being so helpful in such a situation in which he has nothing to gain from (the kids are worried about their parents killing each other. Cartman only has one parent, and as protective as he can be, I don’t think he views the men his mom sleeps with as any more threatening than usual in this scenario). Maybe he just likes the feeling of being in charge, especially since in this case he’s taking the leadership away from Kyle ?

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- The Magic Bush : While from an “episode” standpoint, I’m neutral on this one, I absolutely adore it from a “Cartters” standpoint. The entire episode is just Butters getting angry at Cartman, shoving him against a bathroom stall twice and in general yelling at him, and not only does Cartman let him get away with it, he also keeps helping Butters up until the end !

Hell, throughout the entire episode, Cartman tries to get himself out of trouble. But at the very end, Butters is still unsatisfied. And Cartman, who just spent days trying to wash his hands off, is willing to put himself right back into trouble just to make Butters happy.

And, again, Butters spent the whole episode yelling at Cartman and getting violent ! So this ending shows how Cartman’s “this is the last time I’m helping you” lines were all empty threats.

All-in-all, this episode is just Butters being the one taking the reins of this relationship for once and it is incredibly satisfying to see him able to get away with being so angry at Cartman !

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Another thing I find very interesting about this episode is the fact that, on a regular “Cartman and Butters” episode, Cartman gives orders and Butters follows without much questioning. But this time, Butters actually gets angry at Cartman’s scheme and starts doubting him.

That’s another fact about this episode I love : Cartman doesn’t just keep his scheme going to protect himself, he also has to prove that he’s trustworthy.

Sure, Cartman does his thing and when Butters questions it, he explains himself and tells Butters to trust him. But the important part is that Cartman does make things better for Butters. He tells Butters to trust him and then has to deliver on that trust. I really, really like that this episode took that direction.

In a way, I feel like this episode could be a step leading Butters to trust Cartman a little more when things go wrong in their schemes.

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Btw, it’s worth noting that at any point Cartman could’ve thrown Butters under the bus like he did so many times before. But he didn’t. And I think that’s also why him proving himself trustworthy works so well here. Instead of trying to screw over Butters, he’s trying to keep the kid by his side and help him, even if it means getting his hands dirty again right after getting away with his dumb idea.

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Oh and something very important I almost forgot : around the beginning of the “third act”, when Butters shows up at Cartman’s house to make demands, he points out how miserable the whole thing is making him (probably as a way to scold Cartman since, again, Butters’ here to make demands).

And when he does, Cartman asks Butters what’s wrong and listens when Butters starts ranting, quickly caving in to his demands. Cartman actually tries to be there for Butters on an emotional level, despite Cartman himself being terrible when it comes to emotions on a non-manipulative level.

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- Grounded Vindaloop : While there aren’t that many interactions between them as it’s more of a “main 4” episode, we do have quite a handful of moments in which Cartman shows actual concern.

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First of all, there’s the prank itself. Cartman in the past has been absolutely horrendous towards Butters and used to have a kick out of torturing the kid in the worst ways. As a result, the prank he pulls in this episode is very tame in comparison (hell even Stan points it out).

All Cartman does is make Butters believe he’s in virtual reality to have a laugh and make him do a few chores. And yet, Cartman refers to this prank as “the height of Butters torture”. To say Cartman toned it down with his pranks would be an understatement.

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Then, you have the scene when Butters goes apeshit.

Side note : A funny thing I noticed about Butters being unhinged is how the main 4 realize it one after the other. Stan finds out in “Butterballs”, Kenny in “Going Native”, Kyle in S20 and, in this episode, we learn in the cafeteria scene that Cartman has known for a while now given how he says the prank is a way to put Butters back in his place.

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So when Butters punches his dad, Cartman doesn’t find it hilarious or laughingly thinks about how much trouble Butters will be in. Instead, he understands that Butters is about to go apeshit and immediately tries to calm him down and bring him back to his place.

Also, while Cartman is obviously worried about getting himself in trouble, there is some concern for Butters as well :

When Butters says he hit a lamppost, Cartman tenses up in fear, only calming down when Butters says he’s back up. Same when Butters screams, which also has Cartman calling Butters’ name twice with the second time being in a very small voice.

Then, the next scene is in the hospital. But since Butters was in “the bad part of town” and only Cartman knew about it, it gives off the impression that Cartman was the one to call an ambulance.

On top of that, when Cartman shows up to scare Butters into silence, literally the first thing that comes out of his mouth when he appears is “are you okay ?”, showing concern for Butters’ well-being.

Then, a few minutes later in the episode, you have Cartman being pissed off at Butters by thinking he’s an AI messing with him. And yet Cartman still talks about helping Butters out.

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But more importantly, there’s that scene near the end of the episode. Stan, Kyle and Cartman are in Butters’ room with Stephen being furious about their presence. Stephen then proceeds to take his belt off, implying he’s going to hit his son with it.

When this happens, the other three look for a sec before Stan goes back to his phone call and Kyle follows suit immediately. But Cartman doesn’t. For a few more seconds, Cartman looks at the Stotches with worry before finally getting back to the phone call.

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Compare that last scene to that one episode in S6 in which Cartman prank calls the Stotches parents to get Butters beaten up for shit and giggles.

In the span of 12 seasons, Cartman went from making Butters suffer for fun to showing genuine worry seeing the very same action he once happily caused.

That, right here, is growth. Cartman at some point stopped seeing Butters’ suffering as funny and even starts showing concern at the thought of Butters living in an abusive home.

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- You’re Not Yelping : There are only two moments in this one but the first is pretty big.

Basically, we see Cartman abuse his power as a yelp reviewer to get free food. And early in the episode, we see him give food to Butters.

But the thing is, in their dialogue, there’s no indication that Cartman is asking for any money or service in exchange. Cartman here is straight up being a good friend to Butters for the sake of being a good friend, going through the trouble of going to a restaurant to get food Butters genuinely likes without asking the kid anything in return. It might be a small moment, but coming from Cartman, this is big.

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As for the second scene, you have the fact that he goes to Butters for emotional support and listens to the kid’s advice, which in a way shows that he values Butters’ opinion on top of seeing him as someone he can confide in.

(And it makes me realize I didn’t mention in “The Magic Bush” how, at the very beginning, Cartman insulted Butters’ bird video but was still able to catch the “drone” part, showing that, to a certain degree, he was listening)

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- Safe Space : There’s just a small moment at the beginning I want to talk about. When the episode starts, we have Cartman playing victim and asking PC principal to get a kid to filter the comment section of his social media. Cartman probably knows it’s a very mentally draining task to do.

At first, you have Kyle, Cartman’s worst enemy, who is asked to do it. Then, you have Wendy, who Cartman also butts heads with quite a lot. Finally, you have Butters, who can’t refuse due to his trauma with punishment.

Two things worth noticing here : 1. When Kyle shows up, Cartman tells him he thought about him first. When Wendy shows up, PC Principal says Cartman mentioned her quickly. When Butters shows up, there’s no indication on who called him here.

2. When Butters is asked to do the task, Cartman continues to cry and protests, saying he wanted a smart kid to do it. Now, Cartman did mention with Kyle and possibly Wendy that he knows they’re both organized people who as a result are fit for the job. But at the same time, this is Cartman we’re talking about. He’ll take any opportunity he can to get someone to filter his comments. So him protesting at first about Butters definitely feels a bit odd.

So with both those info in mind, it makes me wonder : who asked for Butters to be in the room ? Did they go through a conga-line of students who said no ? Did PC Principal just go “alright since two refused let’s go with your best friend, see if he agrees” ?

No because the fact that Cartman protests with crocodile tears still in his eyes shows that he’s unhappy about the choice. And given the task at hand + his first two choices being people he despites, it looks like Cartman is trying to defend Butters, to protect him from the task. Coming from Cartman, this is definitely big.

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And yes, I know Butters ends up doing the task and Cartman acts shitty towards him. Though, as weak of an argument as it is, Cartman isn’t as bad towards Butters here as he used to be in former episodes. His biggest flaw here is being too self-absorbed to notice Butters’ distress. On top of this, PC Principal being the worst to this poor kid makes Cartman look better in comparison in this specific scenario.

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- Tegrity Farms : The last time we’ve seen Cartman and Butters do a “get rich quick” scheme together so far, which gets me very curious as to how their dynamic will be in future schemes (“City People” doesn’t really count since Cartman wanted to do it alone and was more focused on one-upping Liane).

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Thing is, aside from the punch at the beginning, Cartman and Butters are the closest we’ve ever seen them to being equals here. Throughout the whole episode, they work in tandem, with Kyle awkwardly following them while trying to stop Cartman. Hell, when Butters confronts Cartman after the punch, he outright says that Cartman referred to the two of them as partners !

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Another interesting point is the context behind how Cartman acts here. A while ago, I remember seeing a few people point out how Cartman was the one who told Kyle about Ike smoking, giving off the impression he wanted Kyle to be involved.

Another person pointed out how Cartman relies on Kyle at the end to come up with a plan. So it’s likely he did half-blackmailed half-manipulated Kyle into helping them because Kyle’s a smart cookie.

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With that in mind, think of the context we’re given in the episode. Cartman and Butters are apparently in debt. Cartman is the head of the operation, meaning that he’s the one trying to think of a way out of this. And when you think about it, there’s three ways he can go :

1. Continue the same direction, which is risky. Cartman doesn’t like risk if he doesn’t have a way out.

2. Bail and let Butters take the fall.

3. Have a third person in the team, preferably someone smart to help, who could take the fall if it came down to this.

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Cartman could’ve gone either solution 2 or 3. But from the looks of it, the beginning of the episode explains why solution 2 isn’t an option unlike in previous episodes. Because, when Cartman throws Butters under the bus here, the kid gets absolutely furious and, were it not for Cartman taking a dumb, he probably would’ve punched him.

And it looks like Cartman realizes it. By that point, Cartman seemingly stopped taking his relationship with Butters for granted and clearly values his help. He also realized that Butters isn’t going to let himself be walked all over anymore, meaning Cartman could lose his friendship if he messes up too much.

So when Cartman finds himself in the situation we see here, instead of dumping every issue on Butters, he takes a third person to throw under the bus, making sure both himself and Butters have a way out.

(This kinda makes me think of how someone also pointed out that, when Kyle confronts the duo at Mackey’s house, Butters admits how Cartman told the 6th graders that Kyle was around. And as he’s talking, Butters is smiling. I’ve seen people question why he’s smiling and all I can imagine is Butters thinking “I’m not the scapegoat this time around !”)

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Honestly, this really makes me question how Cartman will act next time the two of them work together to get rich. Is he going to throw Butters under the bus when things get too complicated ? Or is he going to find a third party to use as scapegoat in order to keep Butters happy ?

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- Shots : There’s just one very small moment that I still want to point out : after we see the issue of Cartman refusing his shots and how it’s going to cost him public school, we get a scene in the cafeteria with Butters telling the other boys about the first third of the episode.

Basically, Cartman gets homeschooled, hates his new teacher and the first thing he does once the teacher’s gone is calling Butters to bitch about it.

(Which reminds me of S20 with him disliking the GhostBusters movie and warning Butters about it, but in that case it felt like the only reason he texted Butters was due to Butters’ importance this season with the whole “Weiners out” movement. He probably would’ve texted Kenny otherwise)

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I guess another thing worth mentioning here is how, within the adults, Stephen is the one taking the lead when it comes to vaccinating Cartman. While surprising to see him step up, it does make sense in the context of the parents being worried that Cartman carrying a disease could affect their own children. Since Cartman and Butters are best friends, Butters is the most at risk.

Although Stephen can go fuck himself with his “no parent wants to see their child hurting” line, given how horrible he is as a parent. And on that note, Liane’s punch was absolutely fantastic (and the only good thing she did in this episode).

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- Let Them Eat Goo : Probably the second-best episode from a Cartters POV only, behind Magic Bush. The whole episode just has Cartman being “Butters :D” the whole way through. Seriously.

(Fun fact : I actually saw some random scenes there and there before watching the whole show, one of which being from this episode. So when I stumbled across a clip of the two singing about Sloppy Joe’s, with my only show experience being the first 8 seasons, my first thought was like “So…when did Cartman and Butters become best friends exactly ? How’d that happen ?!”. But then I watched the whole show and yeah, it made more sense.)

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The kids’ plot opens with the two of them happily singing about lunch together, which also shows that they don’t just hang out for schemes, they’re actual friends.

Then, when Cartman has his heart attacks, Butters is the only kid who shows genuine concern about it, especially the second time (I’d say it’s pretty sad that only one person cares but at the same time it’s Cartman so fuck him). He’s also the one taking care of Cartman, with Cartman never protesting about it.

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In general, Cartman directs all his anger towards the girls and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t insult Butters once here. All he does is wanting to have lunch with the kid and sing about food together.

Even after learning from Butters that the whole school lied to him, he never gets angry at him directly, despite Butters clearly being terrified at the thought of Cartman screaming betrayal at him, which makes sense considering the last time he betrayed Cartman was in “Obama Wins” with Cartman trying to kill him for it.

I could say more about Butters’ fear in this episode but I’m keeping Butters’ POV for the third part of this post.

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Lastly, this episode has the third scene of “Cartman trying to be there for Butters emotionally”, and I’d say this one is even bigger than the previous two.

While in the first one (“Informative Murder Porn”), Butters was crying on the ground so it was evident he was suffering, and in the second one (“The Magic Bush”) he explicitly tells Cartman he’s miserable, here, in “Let Them Eat Goo”, Butters doesn’t say a thing. He’s just less enthusiastic than usual.

So not only does Cartman notice, showing he’s been paying attention to Butters and how the kid expresses himself, Cartman also asks by himself if something is bothering Butters !

Cartman, Eric fucking Theodore Cartman, was capable of noticing that something was off about another person, realizing it could be emotional distress and asking the other person about it, very much willing to listen to that person’s problems and see if there’s something he could do about it. Eric Cartman !

Imagine being someone Cartman tries to comfort and being there to listen vent. Let’s just say you gotta be pretty special for this kid to be like that.

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And another thing about it, though it could just be due to the camera moving from one character to the other at each line : everytime Butters is done talking, Cartman seems to take a second before replying, as if making sure Butters said everything he wanted to say/trying to avoid interrupting Butters. But again, it could also just be due to the camera shifting from one to the other.

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In any case, we get to see Cartman noticing emotional distress and being willing to lend an ear without being judgmental/mocking or using it as future blackmail. Coming from Cartman, this is really big.

And when you think about it, Cartman actually hasn’t ripped on Butters in quite a while, or at least not to the same extent he used to.

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- City People : Not a lot to say here aside from the fact that, while their interactions are short, they’re pretty wholesome (way too wholesome from someone like Cartman).

First off, Cartman shows up at Butters’ house with a saddened expression, telling Butters he needs his help as if asking “do you have time right now ?”, or at least it can be read that way.

Also, compare that to the Christian band episode or “Go God Go”. In both those instances, Cartman shows up with a serious expression, tells Butters “I need you for X right now so do Y” without giving him the choice and then expects the kid to do the task without question. In “City People”, he’s being a lot softer and opens up very easily.

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Then, Cartman doesn’t mind the physical contact as comfort (until Butters says something that bothers Cartman) and is quick to tell Butters everything, trusting him to keep it secret.

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He also compliments Butters’ photography skills, which is a pretty big compliment coming from someone who sees photography as an art (as we see mostly in “Cartman Sucks”. Yeah I know, not the best episode to talk about in a Cartters post but you gotta do what you gotta do).

Btw Cartman had literally no reason to compliment Butters, the kid was already willing to help him. He just gave out a sincere compliment because he felt like it.

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Finally, you have the commercial filming scene. When Cartman enters Clyde’s house, he comments on the size and asks Butters’ opinion on it. Thing is, I feel like, was this episode made in an earlier season, Cartman wouldn’t have asked Butters’ opinion or would’ve told him to shut it had he spoken. But here, Cartman wants Butters’ opinion in the video. He wants to include Butters.

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- Credigree Weed St Patrick’s Day Special : Not a lot here either aside from two small moments.

First, you have that scene with Butters being the only kid giving a shit about the holiday. But despite visibly not caring, Cartman still says something positive about it to Butters, possibly to make the kid happy instead of ruining his enthusiasm.

In a way, it reminds me of “Nightmare on Face Time”, with Kenny and Cartman stumbling across Butters and Jimmy, Cartman taking interest in Butters’ clothing and, despite clearly finding the costume shitty, Cartman still says something positive about it. And when he says something sarcastic to Kenny about it, it doesn’t come off as mean spirited or mocking, like he's not saying it and then laughing about it. He’s playing nice to Butters, just like in the St Patrick’s Day episode.

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The second moment is the prison scene with the main 4 using the opportunity to visit Butters. Here, Cartman’s the first one to talk, asking Butters how the holiday’s treating him (I guess Cartman doesn’t want to ask “are you okay ?” in public out of pride or something) and lets out an unconvinced “cool” after Butters answers him.

Also, it might be just due to them being closer to the bars but Stan and Cartman take a second longer to turn around in comparison to Kyle and Kenny. Also also, Cartman spends the whole episode sounding dead inside, and him asking Butters how he’s doing is the only time there’s some emotion in his voice.

(Side note : I kinda love how Cartman clearly doesn’t care about the holiday but still dresses up for the occasion. He’s just that extra)

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On top of this evolution with Cartman softening up over time, I’ve seen people point out how Cartman is a lot more patient towards Butters than towards any other kid.

There are many instances in the show, I think mostly starting around S12-13, where Butters says something and Cartman reacts with mild annoyance, sighing and rolling his eyes before moving on

Examples include the deleted scene of “The Tale of Scrotie Mcboogerballs” (or at least I think it’s from this episode. It’s the thing with the main 5 + Jimmy and Ike making a sentence with random gross words), the garden of betrayal scene in the Black Friday trilogy or their exchange around the middle of “Dead Kids”, to name a few. Were it any other kid, Cartman would be yelling in those scenes.

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Along with that, Cartman lets Butters get away with a lot.

The best examples are the kiss from “Tonsil Trouble” or literally everything about “The Magic Bush”, the latter also showing that, whereas Cartman tends to yell back when someone angry is confronting him (unless the person is visibly stronger/more dangerous in which case he knows to be careful), when it comes to Butters specifically, all he does is gently repeat Butters’ name until the kid calms down.

We see him do it in “A Song of Ass and Fire” and “Where my Country Gone” as well. Btw in that last episode, during the whole scene of Cartman trying to find a Canadian girl for Butters, Cartman acts in a very gentle manner and it’s pretty sweet.

In that last episode, it’s also pretty funny how Cartman, who has been shown to be quite the romantic (“Cartman Finds Love”, “Tweek X Craig”) suddenly doesn’t have time for a slow romance when Butters is involved in it.

Oh yeah and fun fact, in “Let Them Eat Goo”, we see Butters trying to calm down Cartman by gently repeating his name, copying what Cartman does with him.

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Another good episode showing Cartman being a softie is the beginning of “Going Native”, which is honestly very funny.

First off, you have Cartman seeing Butters beat the shit out of Scott before locking himself in the bathroom, and Cartman goes on to tell the other boys about it, as if asking them for help.

Then Butters goes home and has a talk with his parents and, when we go back to the kids after school, they’re all playing outside until Cartman shows up, yet again talking about Butters. This implies that, when school ended, the first thing Cartman did was check on the kid (I mean they were next-door neighbors back then so I guess it wasn’t that big of a trip). And again, he seems to be asking the others for help.

It’s also worth noting that Butters apparently called him fat, which is something that not only usually makes Cartman go berserk (Tenorman, the therapist, that one kid he locked to a pole etc) but is also something Butters almost never says, unlike for example the “fatass” insult Stan and Kyle used often enough for Cartman to now let it slide. After all, we know from early seasons that he clearly hates the “fatass” nickname. He only lets it slide because he’s used to it despite hating it.

But yeah, despite the “fat” insult, Cartman still wants to help Butters.

And the funniest part of this : when Kyle tells Kenny to go help Butters, Cartman gets all passive-aggressive about Kenny’s help, calling him “mister perfect” and telling him to “rescue Butters”. It makes Cartman sound so jealous ! And even Kyle then raises a curious eyebrow, as if wondering what the hell just went through Cartman’s head ! I love this moment and how dumb it is !

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Yet another random thing I didn’t mention in the episodes list is “Sarcastaball”, with Cartman being supportive of Butters and going to him for advice.

And no I’m not including the cum joke as proof of them being close. Sure, it’s a sex joke between the two, which are kinda starting to pile up when you think about it, but in context neither of them knew what it was. Also the other kids drink it as well so…

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To finish up with this part, here’s some of my thoughts on Post-Covid Cartman + a few interesting things about his interactions with Butters/Vic :

First off all, know that I have no pity for Cartman. I know he’s a child raised in a bad environment and whose mental illnesses make him highly struggle with empathy/sympathy/compassion.

But at the same time, literally one of the main jokes about SP is the kids being the smart ones, especially compared to the adults. When Cartman commits a crime, he knows what he’s doing, he just doesn’t care. Hell, why do you think he’s always making sure to have a way to escape consequences ?

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Ultimately, the only thing I feel bad about when it comes to Cartman is the one thing he has no control over : His family life.

Him being raised by a single mom who should have never been a parent to begin with, on top of not only having an absent father but also losing the only father figure he ever had (Chef). After watching “City People” (and being disappointed by Liane’s final choice), I actually wanted to make a post about the Cartmans. Not sure if I’ll ever write it but in any case I’d rather wait until I watch “Streaming Wars” anyways in order to have more to talk about.

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With that in mind, regarding Cartman’s fate in Post-Covid, I don’t feel bad about him being homeless. Sure, I was surprised that someone like him wasn’t able to become successful since Cartman’s the kind of person who will succeed, no matter how little he deserves it (we sure live in a society), but still, I don’t feel bad.

It’s actually pretty interesting tho how a show that usually goes with the “realistic approach” in how characters are handled suddenly decided to give Cartman what he deserves, not what someone so corrupted would realistically have.

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Oh and don’t go telling me Cartman redeemed himself, because he sure as hell didn’t ! If he was reformed, he would’ve acknowledged all the horrible shit he did as a kid, especially to Kyle, and then apologize for it. But instead, he swept it all under the rug and acted like a victim when he was rightfully called out on it.

And he kept that victim mentality throughout the entire special, changing the narrative to make Kyle look bad, and some people actually bought into this act and talked shit about Kyle after the special aired ! Like guys ! This is Cartman we’re talking about here !

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And let’s not forget how he spent the entirety of the first special messing with Kyle by bringing up his Judaism at any chance. Also, while his family do seem to be good people, it’s obvious that they’re not that great.

I mean, first off Yentl seems to have a bad impression of Kyle right off the bat, showing that Cartman lied to her about his childhood to make the guy look bad.

Then, when they show up at Kyle’s doorstep, Yentl tells the kids that everything’s going to be alright before Kyle agrees to house them (btw Cartman using his family to make Kyle feel bad and house them).

The kids are also shown to have a victim mentality, likely spread by Cartman, and are all shown to swear, including the baby. And sure, all the kids in SP swear, but still.

Plus, one of the kids is overweight which, most of the time, is a sign of negligence, especially for a kid that young (he seems to be around 7-8).

Again, I do believe that Cartman’s wife and kids are good people. But they’re definitely not perfect and we can see Cartman’s influence on them.

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Oh and another thing I’d like to point out because it bothers me a bit : no, Cartman technically did not sacrifice his family. Cartman’s family sacrificed themselves.

Cartman was still arguing about saving them and killing Kyle, and it’s Yentl and the kids who convinced him to give up on this plan.

They’re the one who told Cartman it was okay, they’re the ones who promised that there was still a chance for them to meet in another timeline. It wasn’t all Cartman’s idea to sacrifice them, it was Yentl and the kids who stepped up and told Cartman that things were going to be alright, no matter what changes could be brought to the past. Had they not convinced Cartman to agree with Stan and Kyle, Cartman would’ve gone ahead with his original plan.

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Long story short : Adult Cartman is still the same monster he was as a kid, he’s just better at hiding it.

Ultimately, the only genuine thing about him is his love for his family. It’s the only part where he seemed truly honest. Everything else, he was just using people.

Heck I’ve seen people point out how his conversion to Judaism could be due to his former views on Kyle that might have led him to fetishize the religion or use it as a way to cope after “losing Kyle”, things like that.

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Now, with the “Cartman is the worst” rant out of the way, here’s a few interesting things about how Cartman and Butters/Vic interact in the bathroom scene :

1. The fact that Cartman was able to find Vic more easily than Stan and Kyle despite searching for a shorter time actually makes a lot of sense. Stan and Kyle just went where the destruction happened and tried to follow the general direction of where Vic was last seen.

Cartman on the other hand is a con artist, just like Vic. So he probably asked himself “If I wanted to scam people easily, where would I go ?” and immediately knew where Vic was.

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2. I’ve seen people point out in a youtube comments section how Cartman is the only one who was able to “break” the persona Vic created of himself and bring back the old Butters, shown by the “Oh Hamburgers”.

I think the explanation suggested was that Cartman was able to see through Vic’s mask due to being a liar with a fake personality himself.

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3. Kind of a side note really but looking at this scene, I feel like this is the moment Vic recognized Stan and Kyle. Like, earlier in the asylum, he went over their names very quickly and probably wasn’t much interested in them to begin with anyways.

But in this scene, he very much recognized Cartman, and there’s only one Kyle that Cartman is obsessed with. So I feel like Cartman mentioning Kyle is when Vic made the connection between the “Stand and Kyle” guys who knew his child nickname and the Kyle Cartman hates so much and wants to kill.

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4. Something pretty funny : the fact that Cartman at the very least knows that Vic was in an asylum, meaning he’s dangerous to a certain degree, and yet Cartman has no issue immediately telling him about how he’s trying to save his wife and kids.

Like, Cartman, buddy, the guy in front of you is incredibly dangerous and possibly holds a huge against you from all the shit you did to him as a kid. Why are you telling him your weak point you absolute moron ?

Idk, it just amuses me that Cartman still confides in Vic so easily despite how long it’s been since the last time they saw each other.

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5. Throughout both specials, we see three sides of Cartman : his “love my family” side, his “nice rabbi persona” side that he uses to manipulate others, and his “true selfish” side, which is when he acts like he did as a kid.

For most scenes, he plays nice until pushed to a point where his true side comes out, the best example being his fight with Kyle in the church. But in that bathroom scene, Cartman doesn’t hide behind any persona.

When he confronts Vic, he talks exactly the same way he did when they were kids. It’s the only time in the whole episode where he doesn’t even try to pretend to be anyone else but himself. And sure, it can be seen as a scare tactic, bringing back Vic’s trauma to scare him into helping. But at the same time, it is pretty interesting how the only time Cartman acts without a mask is when alone with Vic.

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Alright, that was all I had to say about the evolution of their friendship and whatnot. If you’re still here and reading, I promise the other two parts aren’t as long and I’m sorry this turned out to be so big. I like rambling and get too passionate about stuff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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2. The duo’s sexualities and genders (and how Cartman is obsessive)

  So, let’s start off by talking about Cartman’s sexuality.

Basically, I’m pretty convinced that he’s bi/pan, and I’m pretty sure it’s canon at that point ?

Like, you had several instances throughout the show of him showing attraction to both guys and gals, with my favorite example being “Le Petite Tourette” due to him admitting in the same scene that he has a crush on a girl and touched dicks with one of his cousins (though the latter does raise the question of how old was the other cousin and as a result how consensual the action was…).

And then you have “Tweek X Craig” with a whole side plot of him denying his attraction to guys, only to cave in at the end. So doesn’t that mean he’s canon queer ?

(btw I’d like to point out that in this episode you also have Stan being pretty focused on Tweek and Craig’s relationship. While the other boys were just surprised but then moved on, Stan spends the whole episode asking questions like “what make people gay ?” and “if it happened to them, can it happen to me ?” Due to that, I tend to believe that Stan’s canon sexuality is questioning)

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Something else worth pointing out in this episode : in general, Cartman is a huge bigot. We all know that (and looking at the episodes he shares with Tolkien, I sometimes wonder if he even views Tolkien as a human being. That’s how much of a bigot he is).

But in “The Hobbit”, we see him partly defending Lisa Burger after the boys made fun of her for her weight, though he follows by insulting her looks. So from this, we can assume that Cartman is a bigot towards everyone but fat people, because he himself is fat.

Well guess what about “Tweek X Craig” : After the first montage, we see Cartman think about their relationship, with Cupid him showing up, and Cartman proceeds to say something along the lines of “Just because I don’t understand it doesn’t mean I have to be against it”. Carmtan. Eric fucking Cartman said that !

So the fact that Cartman isn’t intolerant towards gay couples, the same way he isn’t intolerant towards fat people, does raise questions as to how he feels towards guys.

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Although, to me, the biggest proof of Cartman’s bisexuality/pansexuality is his obsession with both Kyle and Butters. But I’m going to develop it a few lines down.

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Ultimately, I feel like Cartman is either bi or pan.

He’s aware that he’s attracted to guys, though he tries to deny it. At the same time, I don’t think he realizes that the way he acts towards Kyle and Butters could be due to some form of attraction, though I can’t really bring myself to see his current “attraction” to Kyle and Butters as romantic. But it’s still a form of attraction nonetheless.

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As for Cartman’s gender, I do think he’s cis, though he absolutely enjoys women clothes. But thing is, whenever he cross-dresses, it’s for show (the “insufferable teenage girl” thing in S6, the clip in “Butterballs”, a persona in “W.T.F”, him singing and dancing in “Awesome-O”). So I’d say he’s more of a drag queen rather than genderfluid, tho I do like the genderfluid headcanon.

Furthermore, in “The Cissy”, Cartman pretends to be a trans girl for bathroom privileges. And in that one occasion where he has to pretend to be a girl on a daily basis, he only does the bare minimum, putting a bow on while continuing to show his masculinity.

The fact that this instance in particular is the one time he doesn’t put any effort in his appearance is what leads me to believe that he’s cis, though gender non-conforming for sure.

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Now, for Cartman’s obsessions with Kyle and Butters, because this is honestly something I find incredibly interesting but I don’t want to make too many posts so you’ll have to suffer through reading about it here. I’m going to try keeping this as short as possible by just explaining how Cartman expresses those obsessions and some differences I find interesting.

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- Cartman’s obsession with Kyle is mostly shown through him being a stalker.

He once said he sneaks into Kyle’s room on the regular (tbh “kid shows up uninvited into another kid’s bedroom” is pretty common in SP), in a deleted scene of “Naughty Ninjas” he admits to having recorded every discussion he has had with Kyle for a whole year in case he gets blackmail material, and there are three scenes in which we see him being able to predict what Kyle is going to say (“Kenny Dies” I think when he sends Butters to talk to Stan and Kyle, I think “Obama Wins” with Cartman calling Kyle while he’s talking to Ike and guessing what Kyle was talking about, and a deleted scene from “Grounded Vindaloop” with a phone call between Kyle and Butters)

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A result of that which we often see is Cartman’s ability to manipulate Kyle. If Cartman wants Kyle to do something, he will get Kyle to do it. Cartman knows exactly which buttons to press to get Kyle to act a certain way and is capable of using this on the regular.

I could say more about this but this post is already way too long so I’m putting it in the Ky//man part of the “my opinion on other ships” bonus at the very end. Expect negativity though.

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- When it comes to Butters, there are three things that could be related to Cartman being obsessed with him. From least creepy to most creepy :

1. Butters easily comes to Cartman’s mind. Like in “Fishsticks” when he keeps imagining new scenarios in his head and, whenever someone who wasn’t on the scene shows up, it’s always Butters first. Or how in early seasons he was already often asking Butters for help despite kids like Clyde being around.

(btw, just wanted to say I’m always surprised when I see people say that Butters is the kid who acts the most like a kid when Clyde is right there. I mean come on ! Clyde is the definition of “awkward, impressionable and kind of a loser” kid. Especially in newer seasons in which Butters is a lot more unhinged and corrupted)

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2. Sort of a continuation but in early seasons, Cartman was very focused on pranking Butters specifically. Compare that to Scott Malkinson, who some people call “the new Butters” due to his status as bottom of the social ladder. Cartman doesn’t give a shit about Scott and never goes out of his way to prank him.

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3. Cartman has a huge fixation on Butters’ body, in particular his dick. We can see it through not only his tendency to have Butters either naked or cross-dressing during his schemes, but also a few instances of him trying to take a peek of Butters’ dick like in “Proper Condom Use” or even more recently with “Return of Covid” with how he interrupts Vic mid-piss. Another good example is “T.M.I”.

Then you also have some creepy behavior like him smelling Butters’ underwear in “Stunning and Brave” (btw last time I watched this scene I noticed that Cartman bites his lip while sniffing. Like, please don’t ever do that again kid) or “Cartman Sucks” in which, while I agree that Cartman was doing what he did to humiliate Butters, given his track record, I’d argue it says something that the first thing that came to his mind was putting Butters’ dick in his mouth of all things.

On that same note, when talking about how privacy is gone in “The Magic Bush”, he mentions “your wiener, my balls”. And given how often he talks about his balls (especially when negotiating) + his track record with Butters’ dick, it does make me wonder if the choice of words here was deliberate.

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I’ve also seen a post half-jokingly theorize that Cartman might find Butters’ body attractive, and honestly it does hold water.

The idea is due to the episodes “Douch and Turd” and “Canada on Strike”, both of which have a scene with Cartman using Butters’ body as a way to attract people to his cause. I’d say “Canada on Strike” especially due to some naked shots in the “What What in The Butt” clip + the fact that at some point during the clip we see Stan and later on Cartman sitting on a chair in front of the computer. Compared to Stan, Cartman is really leaning towards the screen.

And yeah, between those two instances and the way Cartman in general tries to get Butters naked or look at his dick, it does give the impression that he finds Butters attractive.

And in the case of the two episodes mentioned, maybe he assumes that everyone finds Butters attractive since Cartman is still struggling with his sexuality. Basically, he may not realize that he’s physically attracted to Butters so he simply believes that Butters is good-looking.

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Btw, I insist on the “physically attracted”. I’m not calling it romantic love in any way. If anything, it’s Cartman liking Butters body but being too much of a mess to know how to express this attraction in a healthy way. All he knows is that he likes looking at Butters’ body, so he tries to do it as often as possible.

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(And I have to be honest, for a while I thought he had calmed down on that aspect. But looking at the Covid special, he really didn’t. It’s just that now that he and Butters are friends, he can’t go around asking the boy to strip. Hell, Butters has enough confidence now to say no and even maybe tell him to fuck off.)

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- On top of those, both kids were victim of sexual harassment and sexual abuse from Cartman, showing how far those obsessions can get. And while you do have instances like “Cartman Sucks” and “Imaginationland” in which Cartman doesn’t seem to realize he’s doing something sexual or at the very least isn’t doing it with sexual intent in mind, it doesn’t excuse the fact that he’s sexually harassing and assaulting those kids.

Then there’s also for example Cartman’s journal in “Fractured But Whole”. From what I remember, there are four sexual drawings and every single of contains either Kyle or Butters in it. I think one of them also depicts Butters with a large dick but I’m not sure and I don’t really want to check that detail, for obvious reasons.

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Another thing he possibly does with both is physical contact. Like, in general Cartman is a pretty touchy person, but he kinda feels extra touchy towards Kyle and Butters specifically I think ?

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As a result of all that, I tend to interpret Cartman’s views on them as some sort of non-sexual lust, if that’s even a thing that exists.

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- Finally, I find it very interesting how, despite both being kids Cartman obsesses over, the way he views them and acts towards them is incredibly different.

To keep it short : when Cartman wants someone to mess with or to blame for his issues/be paranoid about, he goes to Kyle. When Cartman seeks emotional support and someone he can trust and confide into but also work on good terms with, he seeks Butters. Basically, he thrives off of Kyle’s negative attention and Butters’ positive attention. Idk, I just find this interesting.

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Oh and one last thing that I’ve seen being mentioned for Butters in a few fics and it’s incredibly fucked up but at the same time very much in character coming from Cartman : the fact that Cartman is a n*zi, Kyle is Jewish and Butters is blond with possibly blue eyes, aka what a n*zi would call an “aryan”.

So the two kids that Cartman is obsessed over are what he considers to be the worst in humanity and the best in humanity. I both hate this info and find it really interesting from a characters’ POV.

And on a side note, this could also explain his fixation on Butters’ body, in a very, very messed up way.

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Now, a few words about Butters’ sexuality because we’re here to talk about a relationship after all : Tbh, I’m not really sure if Butters is straight or bi/pan ? Like, he absolutely finds women attractive, that’s not even a question.

But when it comes to guys, I see people say that he has bi tendencies but they don’t bring up any examples and the only thing I can think of are the “bi-curious” jokes, in which I’m not even sure Butters knows what he’s talking about ?

Does anybody remember any instances of Butters showing a liking for guys, aside from calling himself bi-curious/bike-curious or looking gay due to Cartman being obsessed with him ? I’m genuinely curious here.

And no, the other characters calling him gay as an insult doesn’t count. That’s not even something I’ll use to justify Stan’s sexuality despite thinking he’s questioning it.

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(For those who are likely confused as to how I can ship Cartters if I don’t see Butters as bi/pan : basically I’m the type to stick with canon, probably a little too much, so I like when my headcanons are backed up by canon. But if Butters turns out to be straight in the show, it won’t stop me from seeing him as bi in fanon even if it’s not canon-compliant)

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As for Butters’ gender, I believe he’s cis.

Speaking of which, because I feel the need to talk about it : my biggest pet peeve about the fandom has to be how popular the “character” of Ma//jorine is.

Now don’t get me wrong, I get it. Butters is a popular character and people project their own gender euphoria on him because they have a golden opportunity to do so. Trust me, I’ve been there (*cough* trans Vin//nie Dako//ta *cough*). On top of that, I’m sure many people simply enjoy her design.

And even without all that in mind, in terms of trans headcanons, I absolutely love the idea of Princess Kenny being a trans woman in a SOT AU. So I’m really not one to talk and can’t blame people for simply having headcanons.

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But it doesn’t change the fact that there are things about Ma//jorine that bother me and even make me uncomfortable, though that’s very much a “me” problem.

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Let me explain (this whole part is going to be in italics so it’s easy to skip if you don’t want to listen to a negative rant about her. And yeah I know this could’ve been its own thing but I’m not making a post just to talk shit about a harmless headcanon) :

- Starting with the biggest problem and the one thing that makes me genuinely uncomfortable : Cartman.

To put it simply, Butters has cross-dressed on three occasions in the show. In “Douche and Turd” with Cartman making him dance the hula, in “Ma//jorine” with the boys sending a spy amongst the girls due to Cartman thinking they have a future-telling device, and the Superheroes trilogy with Cartman forcing Butters to dress up as Courtney Love and take suggestive pictures with a naked homeless man.

You might notice a pattern.

Every single time Butters cross-dressed, it had to do with one of Cartman’s schemes. Worse, the last one (Courtney Love) had Butters protest about it on top of having the other boys calling the plan “taking naked pictures of Butters”.

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To keep it short and to the point : we know Cartman is fixated on Butters body + Cartman struggles with his sexuality. In other words, it’s not Butters who enjoys wearing women’s clothes, it’s Cartman who enjoys seeing Butters in those.

And that’s why it’s making me uncomfortable. When I see art of Ma//jorine, instead of thinking about Butters expressing himself, all I can think of is Cartman preying on this poor kid.

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Also, regarding the episode “Ma//jorine” itself, I’m part of the “Butters was uncomfortable the whole time” crowd.

Like, 1. He was clearly stressed and uncomfortable with the plan.

2. The line “You don’t know how hard it is to be me” doesn’t have to do with his gender (tho I can understand why people resonate with it) but with the fact that this is early seasons Butters. He’s a victim to everyone else. So of course it’s hard to be him ! Imagine having such a childhood !

3. Him having so much fun with the girls yet again comes from the fact that literally nobody likes him, so of course he’s going to latch onto the very first group that’s kind enough to accept him.

4. Once he leaves the party, the first thing he does is throw the wig away.

Ultimately, the only time Butters expressed desires to wear feminine clothes is in “The Cissy” with the tutu at the end, plus the fact that he casually mentions how he’s holding his pee now because the bathroom situation confuses him. But I don’t think those instances are ever brought up again ?

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- Something that isn’t an issue exclusive to Butters and can be found in pretty much any fandom anyways : character feminization.

Basically, the fact that people still try to put heteronormative ideas into gay couples, causing one of them to be the “man” and the other the “woman” of the relationship. As a result, some characters get their personalities completely messed with in a very bad way, especially the characters who end up feminized.

Again, that’s not an SP-exclusive issue. Literally every fandom has this problem. And while the SP fandom is old and apparently knows better nowadays, there are still posts circulating about the feminization of Kyle, Butters and Tweek.

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Basically, for Butters, you have the issue of “Kenny and Cartman are much manlier than Butters so surely he’s the woman in the relationship !” As a result, some people seem to use Ma//jorine as an excuse to make Butters be even more of a girl, which is pretty messed up.

Tbh, I don’t blame the fans of Ma//jorine for this, as this is clearly a minority. Plus, a while ago on the main SP tag, there have been a lot of Bu//nny posts that had both Kenny and Butters wear women’s clothing, in which case I don’t see any issue since both are shown as more feminine.

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All-in-all, I think the biggest issue with Butters is the fact that both Cartman and Kenny had been seen willingly wearing women’s clothes and enjoying it. And yet Butters, the kid that was forced into those clothes, is the one who gets feminized. Again, it definitely stems from heteronormativity, with those people not understanding that guys can be both masculine and feminine.

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Also, guys, a man can take the lead in a relationship and be more masculine while at the same time being gender non-conforming or even being a bottom. Because that’s another issue people have with heteronormativity (I’m talking generally with that last one. I’m not one to age-up characters so I don’t want to think about SP kids and sex stuff . I don’t care that the show itself put those kids in sex situations, it’s still uncomfortable to watch).

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- For those who like her mostly due to her design : there’s that background girl character in the show called Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter. It’s that blonde girl with two pigtails, a pink shirt and a scarf.

For the longest time, before learning her name, I called this girl “Ma//jorine-haired girl”. Because let’s be real, while not identical, the hair is pretty similar. You can probably guess where I’m going with this.

For those who like Ma//j for the design only, what about Kelly ? Heck, you can give her more than the one pair of clothes she has in the show. And you can draw her without her pigtails as well (hope this doesn’t come off as condescending since that’s not the intention here…I’m very much aware that using Kelly isn’t the same as using Butters. But at the same time, I find it to be a good compromise).

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Another good thing about using Kelly as Ma//jorine would be the personality.

Whenever people draw Ma//j, it kinda feels like they’re taking Butters’ early seasons personality and add a feminine touch to it. But Butters has gone through major character development throughout the show and is now very different from the kid he used to be in S8-9.

(Imma be honest, I never read a single fic with Ma//j in it, so I really can’t speak for how she’s characterized in fics. But looking at fanart, she does tend to give a “Butters’ pre-development self” vibe)

Oh and Butters also turned out incredibly misogynistic, which I should’ve point out earlier when talking about him not being comfortable with cross-dressing but anyways.

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So yeah, Kelly as a character is a blank slate. All we know is she’s a girl and likes board games. You could easily give her Butters’ early seasons personality and make it more feminine. And that way, you can even have both Butters and Ma//j exist at the same time.

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(also, hope it doesn’t come off as rude but isn’t it usually a fandom thing to focus on side characters, using the fact that they’re a blank state to flesh them out and make them actual characters ?)

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Lastly, regarding the trans headcanons, because I’m very much aware that the main appeal of Ma//j is the trans rep : what if Kelly was a trans girl as well ?

At some point while thinking about Kelly, I looked up the boys at school and found out about “unnamed blond boy with red shirt”

Remember the early seasons episode with the kids in the bus stuck on a cliff ? That boy is the kid who leaves the bus and gets eaten. Apparently, that was his only appearance in the show. But since the whole episode turns out to be a dream within a dream, maybe he’s still alive ?

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On top of that, I found out that, while Kelly’s first appearance was in “Stupid Spoiled Whore”, which was one season before “Ma//jorine”, she had very little background appearances between her first appearance and “Ma//j” and shows up a lot more afterwards. Oh and she’s conveniently not there in “Ma//jorine”, which I’m guessing is due to design similarities.

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So here’s my idea for Kelly : she’s amab who never felt like she fit in with the other boys, hence why we never see her. Then “Ma//jorine” happens and seeing Butters in those clothes give Kelly major gender envy. So she starts growing her hair more, feeling also confident about “imitating” Ma//j due to the fact that the girl mysteriously disappeared after a few days, so it’s not like they’ll run into each other.

Once she feels confident enough in her looks, she starts trying to socialize with a few girls who accept her. You could also imagine that she already had a few “unpopular” girl friends (by unpopular I mean “not part of the main girl group we usually see”) with who she felt a lot more at home than with other boys. Plus, those friends encouraged her to express her gender.

Eventually, she introduces herself to the more popular girls as Kelly and becomes part of the group. Though, it’d be funny if some of the girls thought she was Ma//jorine who came back after a few months, with Kelly playing along because Ma//j was only around for like a week max so it’s not like she pretends to be the girls’ life-long friend or something. This idea of using the Ma//j nickname does feel a bit like shitting on Ma//j tho.

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(You know, on one hand, this is low-key making me consider writing a oneshot about Kelly. But on the other hand, I’m not very big on side characters, including Kelly, so it would feel more like something written to spite people who like Ma//jorine rather than an actual desire to flesh out a side character. So I doubt I’ll ever write anything about her transitioning. If I ever make a long story that has several side characters, I’d absolutely include her as part of the side cast tho.)

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So, very long story short : my main issue with Ma//j is that the way she’s used feels like Butters’ core personality is taken away for a more shy and feminine version of the character, on top of “validating” some of Cartman’s fucked up views. And the fact that there’s a side character that could perfectly fit the mold makes this impression worse.

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3. How the two view each other and how their relationship could evolve

  Alright, so with sexuality and gender out of the way, let’s talk a little more about how the two currently see each other and how it can evolve (not me just realizing now how useless the second part of this post actually is…).

As of right now, the two consider each other to be best friends.

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First off all, I actually really like how their relationship evolved in a “natural” way, if I can say.

What I mean is that, usually, relationships reach a point where they have to talk things out in order to move in a better direction or understand each other’s boundaries. Just look at Stan and Kyle for example and how their relationship grew resentful as the two kept sweeping everything under the rug (please do yourself a favor and go read some analysis about Stan and Kyle’s friendship. There’s tons of interesting stuff !).

But with Cartman and Butters, their friendship grew without much talk. They’re just two guys who kept hanging out and eventually grew attached to each other. Butters is competent for schemes so Cartman kept him around. Then Cartman started opening up to him and Butters proved himself trustworthy. And now, Cartman is trying to return the favor.

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Although, I do think that at some point, these two will hit a wall and will need to talk things off. Because when you look at their relationship on an emotional level, it’s actually pretty one-sided, on Cartman’s end.

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Cartman puts tons of faith into Butters and trusts him pretty much blindly. I’m not sure if this is due to him being paranoid that leads him to trust one specific person, but in any case, the trust is here. Cartman confides in Butters, trusts him during their schemes and goes to him for emotional support.

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But Butters on the other hand…he just doesn’t. Hell, looking at the three scenes of Cartman showing emotional support : “Informative Murder Porn”, Butters is crying on the ground so he didn’t ask anybody to try and comfort him ; “The Magic Bush”, Butters told Cartman he was miserable as a way to scold him ; “Let Them Eat Goo”, Butters didn’t say a thing and it’s Cartman who notices that something’s wrong.

Honestly, the more I think about it, the more it looks like Butters trusts Cartman the same way the other boys do, which is “Cartman is absolutely incredible at coming up with schemes and knows what he’s doing, so if you need a leader/schemer to help you, you should  seek his help. But for anything else, fuck him.”

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Now obviously, Butters does consider Cartman to be his best friend and his attached to him. Just look at his reaction to the heart attacks in “Let Them Eat Goo”. There’s evident concern here (especially compared to like the ending of “Pee” or that one moment in “Stick of Truth” where you have to heal Cartman and Butters is like “how about we let him suffer a little longer ?”).

Also, smaller moment but I never saw anyone point it out : in “Naughty Ninjas”, when the boys want to get rid of Cartman and make a vote, everyone move their heads while agreeing, except for Butters, who as a result likely decided to side with Cartman instead, hence him not moving during the vote.

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Another thing regarding Butters’ side and him being attached to Cartman, as weird as it is to say : him being around Cartman is a pretty good thing for the kid. Because Butters is unhinged and full of rage from his parents’ bullshit (to put it lightly). As a result, hanging out with Cartman not only gives him an outlet to express the mean/angry side of him, but Cartman is also able to prevent Butters from going apeshit, at least sometimes.

And I think that’s also why Butters considers Cartman his best friend. Cartman is someone Butters can be at his worst with. Given his family situation, it’s probably freeing for him, making him feel a bit more in control of his life.

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But while Butters genuinely cares and likes Cartman, he still doesn’t trust him (rightfully so honestly). More than that, Butters is still terrified of Cartman. Recent examples show that, like the second half of “Let Them Eat Goo” and his scene in “City People” (when Cartman pushes Butters’ hand away, Butters keeps his hand close to his chest in a defensive way, before dropping it since Cartman doesn’t show any sign of aggressivity).

Tbh, I absolutely adore that we get to see Butters be so scared of Cartman still. I think it has to do with the fact that obviously Butters should be scared of Cartman after all the horrible shit the boy put him through.

And what I like about it is that, being a comedy show and all, Matt and Trey could’ve easily just gone “well they’re best friends now so Butters isn’t scared anymore”. But instead, they acknowledge that Butters was traumatized and, as a result, is still afraid of Cartman.

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On that note, I really hope that “Butters is scared of Cartman while Cartman keeps acting friendly towards him” is a thing we’ll keep having in future episodes.

It’s honestly really great in “Let Them Eat Goo” to see Butters being so worried about Cartman calling him a traitor, only for Cartman to spend the entire episode being friendly with him. I just really like the evolution of Butters’ fear in this episode and how he slowly calms down the more he realizes that Cartman won’t hurt him. It’s very endearing to see.

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But yeah, going back to that “they’ll need to sit down and talk at some point”, this is what I mean.

Butters was heavily traumatized by all the horrible shit Cartman put him through (made worse when you consider that what led Butters to get so close to Cartman in the first place is the fact that his parents are incredibly controlling, so of course an authority figure like Cartman would allure him).

At some point, Cartman will have to realize that what he did wasn’t ok, and that Butters isn’t going to just forgive him like that. Cartman is on a good path right now but he needs to keep going if he wants that friendship to be healthy. Cartman also really needs to be called out for his creepy predatory behavior.

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This whole thing is also why I like to imagine Cartters as one-sided on Cartman’s end. As someone who isn’t particularly fond of portraying abusive relationships, I’m really not a fan of the idea of Butters liking his bully without the bully actually acknowledging his actions. I feel like it also undermines Cartman’s abuse by having Butters forgive him every time in the name of love or something.

(Don’t get me wrong, I can still genuinely appreciate Cartters fics that don’t really go there, but I do feel like Cartman is let off a little too easily most of the time. Then again, most fics take place in their teenage years so I can sorta understand that feeling of “it’s all behind them now”, tho I still wish there was more acknowledgment.)

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Oh yeah and a few other reasons why I like one-sided Cartters with Cartman being in love :

- I like portraying characters as disasters and Cartman being a bi disaster who also struggles to accept his sexuality is very endearing

- Cartman liking someone who doesn’t like him back makes him miserable. I like when Cartman is miserable

- Butters doesn’t strike me as being in love with Cartman in the show, especially due to the episode “Scause for Applause”. In this episode, Butters acts as Stan’s hype man and pretty much acts the same way he does with Cartman, save for having a bit less admiration. So if he views Stan in a platonic way, he views Cartman in a platonic way. And given all the hurt Cartman caused him, it would take quite a few years for romantic feelings to grow.

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All of that is also why I said in the intro that I don’t want this ship to be canon as of now and would rather see their friendship grow healthier. Especially since I do believe it could get better if the show wanted to go that direction.

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After all, if you were to show someone who doesn’t know shit about SP the seasons 17-25 and asked them to describe the duo’s friendship, they’d probably say “they’re best friends. Sometimes Cartman’s an ass but when is he not.” Because, as of right now, Cartman and Butters are in a pretty good place. BUT that’s only if you ignore all the trauma from the early seasons.

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As of right now, there are two steps that they need to take in their relationship, which both boils down to “Cartman needs to keep getting better so that Butters can learn to trust him”.

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The first step is that Cartman needs to stop throwing Butters under the bus during their schemes. This, to me, is the most important part right now.

That’s also why earlier I mentioned how curious I am for their next “get rich quick” scheme given how “Tegrity Farms” turned out, with Cartman making Butters the scapegoat at first but then blackmailing Kyle into helping to use him instead. It does give the hope that Cartman may start using a third person in most schemes.

But then again it is Cartman we’re talking about. Plus, the show isn’t always consistent with its characters. So we’ll just have to wait and see.

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The second step is just Cartman continuing to be nice to Butters like he’s been since S17. That’s where the “Butters being afraid of physical violence” comes in, and why I want it to continue.

If Cartman keeps going the way he’s currently going, I hope we’ll get to see Butters slowly learning to drop his guard around Cartman, because Cartman would have deserved it for putting actual effort into this friendship and proving himself to not have any desires to hit Butters at every turn like he used to.

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Then, once those two steps are done, it would be time for them to unravel all the trauma from the past seasons and work through this. It’s at this point that they would hit a wall and need to talk things out in order to keep their friendship growing.

Obviously this would never happen because this is SP, I know. But if this was a show that focused on character development, this is how I could see it work.

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There is, however, one last issue with this. That issue is Cartman’s desire to change.

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I mentioned earlier when talking about the Covid specials how the only thing that was true about Cartman was his love for his family. And that brought me to learn one thing about Cartman : he is capable of love.

Cartman can love someone, he can bring himself to care about someone else other than himself, or at least to a certain degree. Like some have pointed out before, Cartman could have easily destroyed the time machine or time-traveled to kill Kenny or something. But instead, he let his obsessive hatred for Kyle consume him. He didn’t just do it to save his family, he was also being selfish.

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But this aside, we do see Cartman capable of being nice to one person specifically, while remaining a manipulative asshole to everyone else. Now the question is, can he do the same for a platonic relationship ? After all, Yentl was his wife. Butters is only a friend, obsession or not.

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Don’t get me wrong, Cartman did become nicer to Butters as the show went on. Hell, comparing obsessions and love interests, I tend to say that Cartman with Heidi = Cartman with Kyle and Cartman with Yentl = Cartman with Butters.

What I mean is Heidi and Kyle are people Cartman is incredibly manipulative towards and tried/tries to change for the worst, while Yentl and Butters are cases in which Cartman is the one changing for them.

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But still, as much as Cartman might care for Butters and want to be a good friend to him, how much is Cartman capable of caring for Butters ? And as a result, how much is he willing to change ? That’s the main issue here.

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Cartman can’t change unless he wants to. You can’t help someone if they don’t want to be helped. Cartman is a narcissist/sociopath. He’s capable of affection, empathy and even love, but to a limited degree.

And because of that, when it comes to his friendship with Butters, while he has shown huge progress as the show went on, there’s no telling how much this progress can continue before hitting a limit. And there’s no telling how much this limit will prevent their relationship from being healthy.

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Ultimately, I don’t think their relationship could ever be 100% healthy. Cartman is a huge control freak and I don’t think he’s that capable of change.

That being said, Cartman and Butters could become equals, or at least as close to equals as Cartman is capable of.

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As of right now, the closest people to be equals to Cartman are Kenny and Wendy, mostly due to them not being afraid of him. Wendy especially knows how to avoid being manipulated by Cartman and I do think the two could become equals if Cartman had any sort of respect for her (which he doesn’t).

As for Kenny, it’s a mix between not being afraid and Cartman himself having some form of respect for Kenny, and I think that’s what gives me hope that Cartman and Butters’ relationship could be better.

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Cartman grew to respect (to an extent) and care for Butters. So if Butters were to grow out of his fear of Cartman’s actions, while Cartman keeps being a softie to him, they could have a better relationship.

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Although, such a relationship still wouldn’t be 100% healthy, especially if you imagine them growing up to become con men or CEOs together.

But the main difference would be that, while Cartman could still screw up Butters, Butters could also screw up Cartman and get away with it without Cartman trying to get revenge, and as such without Butters having the fear of said revenge.

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It would be far from perfect, nor would it be completely healthy. But given their personalities, this is the best they could have. It might also make their relationship have a more casual feeling to it while still having genuine care for each other. But in any case, I think this is a relationship they would both be content with.

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Before finishing with the “other ships opinions”, here’s a few other things I wanted to talk about but didn’t know where to put, in no particular order :

- Despite Cartman being closer to Butters, he seems to still consider Kenny his best friend. Regarding this, I don’t think Cartman has fully realized just how close he and Butters became.

For example, take the scene from “You’re not Yelping” when he gives Butters free food. I feel like, had anybody pointed out to him that he just gave free food to Butters, Cartman would’ve gone “Hey you’re right ! Butters you asshole come back here you owe me money !”

Looking at their recent interactions, it does seem like most of what Cartman does for Butters is “subconscious”, in the sense that he knows that he’s being nice to Butters but probably doesn’t realize just how much he’s doing for that kid, especially compared to literally anybody else.

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- When it comes to Cartters, I don’t think it’s enough for Cartman to be nicer towards Butters. Butters also needs to become worse, embrace the darker “fucked up and corrupted con artist” side of him.

I honestly don’t believe in Cartman redeeming himself and becoming a better person overall. But since he is capable of love, I do think that their relationship could work if Butters was on the “unredeemable” side as well. Their relationship wouldn’t be 100% healthy and would have a few hiccups, but it’d work for them. Kind of in a “they deserve each other” sort of way I guess ?

That’s actually something I really like about Cartters : In order to ship it, you need to acknowledge how much of an asshole Butters actually is.

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- Cartman’s friendship with Butters is like a double-edged sword to him and I find that very funny. Episodes like “The Magic Bush” or “Tegrity Farms” portray that very well.

On one hand, Cartman now has an incredibly loyal and trustworthy ally. But on the other hand, Butters isn’t taking any of his shit anymore, so Cartman better act like an actual friend if he doesn’t want to lose him.

On that note, that’s also why I really like how much nicer Cartman has been since S17. It’s obvious that he realized how Butters’ growth changed their dynamic, and he’s willing to play nice instead of taking their friendship for granted. And looking at episodes such as “Let Them Eat Goo”, it seems that this dynamic is actually bringing them closer, which is pretty sweet.

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- Now that I think about it, this post barely had any mention of the romantic and sexual jokes between them, which are honestly pretty numerous and present across the entire show. But that’s because I’m more focused on their characters and possible chemistry, especially how they evolved and how they could evolve in the future.

While the jokes definitely influenced/shaped my perception of this duo and can absolutely be used as a reason to ship it, what I’m ultimately looking for in a “shipping mindset” are the genuine moments and interactions.

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- Speaking of “romantic jokes” tho, I’m still not over the fact that, in the Vaccination Special, Cartman makes a drawing of the “Qties” group in front of the school + the adults that joined. And in that drawing, you can’t recognize any of the kids aside from two :

Scott Malkinson, mostly recognizable due to him being in the center with a jacket and what seems to be his tongue being visible, since the drawing has characters with their mouths open and said mouths are colored in, unlike said tongue.

Butters, seen by his short blonde and kinda-spiky hair + the fact that he’s holding a flag like he did during the fight earlier, showing that Cartman was paying attention to what Butters was doing, either during the fight or while watching the news, since he drew some of the adults accurately which shows he watched the news.

But yeah, it just kills me that Cartman fucking took the time to draw Butters accurately while not giving a single shit about the rest of the Qties. For example, Clyde and Red were part of the group. Good luck seeing them on the board.

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- At some point, thinking about the two got me thinking about Scott Malkinson, who some call “the new Butters”. Mostly, it got me thinking about the possibility of Cartman using him for schemes and eventually getting attached to him. But I doubt this would ever happen.

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This also led me to realize that, while people call Scott “the new Butters”, there are actually three main differences between them :

1. Scott is morally good. Butters is morally ambiguous.

2. Scott already knows how to talk back to bullies, it’s just that nobody cares. Butters on the other hand had to learn to stand up for himself, which apparently left a much higher impact on the other boys (just look at their reaction in “Going Native”).

3. Scott is very visibly lonely, as we especially see in “Basic Cable”. When he’s alone, he seems to suffer from it. Butters on the other hand never seemed lonely like that. Even in early seasons, when nobody liked him, whenever he was alone he could be seen playing with costumes or drawing or being on his computer etc. While I’m in no way doubting that Butters was lonely back then (and might still be), he was capable of hiding it.

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And regarding their relationships with Cartman and why I don’t think Cartman would ever care about Scott : The main reason is that Cartman isn’t obsessed with Scott. Like I said earlier, he doesn’t go out of his way to bully him like he used to do with Butters.

Then you also have the fact that Scott agrees to help Cartman because he’s the most terrified of Cartman + he’s so lonely that he’ll accept any form of acknowledgment. Butters on the other hand is in the schemes because he enjoys it.

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You could also say that, with Cartman being paranoid, he only wants one confidant. But then again I don’t know shit about paranoia and couldn’t find something on the internet so take this idea with a grain of salt.

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Oh yeah, and also I like comparing the two with Cartman in “Board Girls”, with the scene where they complain to Mackey and the scene in front of the assembly.

In both scenes, Butters speaks unprompted while Scott waits to be asked to talk. On top of that, when Butters interrupts the first time, Cartman just gets mildly annoyed. But when Scott answers Mackey’s question, Cartman gets angry and yells.

As for the scene with the assembly, seeing Butters speak and Cartman glare at him, causing Butters to cower and walk back to his spot reminds me of that one Halloween episode with Satan throwing a sweet 16 party (around S9-10). When the boys try to summon Biggie Smalls, Cartman is hesitating and Butters insults him, causing Cartman to glare at him and raise a fist.

Makes me wonder if Cartman not raising his hand in “Board Girl” was due to them being in front of an assembly, due to him knowing Butters would back away from the stare alone, or due to Cartman simply not having any intention to hurt Butters because he grew to care about him. In any case, Butters cowers due to fear and trauma.

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One last thing about comparing these kids is that it made me wonder if there’s any chance for Butters and Scott to be friends. And honestly, I don’t think so. While Butters can be very sweet, he’s also a bully, and Scott is a victim of bullying. On top of that, I could definitely see Butters feeling bad for Scott and Cartman dismissing those worries, which with time would cause Butters to stop caring.

So long story short, I think that, as long as Butters is friends with Cartman, he and Scott won’t be able to be close.

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- Episode ideas, one that could help their relationship and one that would be very satisfying :

1. Cartman throws Butters under the bus yet again, Butters is mad and doesn’t want to be his friend anymore, Cartman’s like “That’s fine ! I don’t need you anyways”, Cartman realizes that he’s been relying on Butters for so long now that it’s pretty impossible for him to scheme alone, Cartman tries to get other people to help but doesn’t have the same patience he showcases towards Butters so he can’t stand them when they don’t understand stuff or make mistakes (also they’re not as competent as Butters), Cartman eventually begrudgingly apologizes to Butters and promises to stop throwing him under the bus, Cartman actually has to hold this promise for the rest of the show and starts using other people as scapegoats without growing meaningful friendships with any of them.

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2. Cartman has a scheme idea and goes to Butters’ house to ask for his help, Butters is grounded and insists that he can’t leave, Cartman finds a way to convince the Stotches to let the kid out, the whole episode would have Stephen calling Cartman to be like “alright it’s been long enough now bring Butters back” but Cartman keeps delaying it until his scheme is complete, oh and Butters is having the time of his life being away from his parents.

Basically, I just want an episode of Cartman playing mind games with the Stotches parents, with Butters getting no bad consequence whatsoever. Because let’s be honest here, both Stotches parents have mental illnesses, which would make them weak in Cartman’s eyes and incredibly easy to dominate. And while physical violence against horrible people is cathartic, mental games is where the good stuff’s at.

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To wrap up, here’s my views on a few other Cartman and Butters ships, for those who are curious :

 Cartman

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- Stan//man : completely neutral on that one. Don’t particularly like it, don’t particularly dislike it. I tend to find their friendship pretty interesting due to how Cartman doesn’t really have anything against Stan since he isn’t part of any sort of minority (aside from possibly sexuality but it has yet to be canon).

On top of that, Stan doesn’t react in a way that Cartman finds funny. Stan also doesn’t get roped into Cartman’s schemes easily, unless it’s a group effort. So it seems that they could become closer friends. But the issue is Kyle, due to how horrible Cartman is on the poor kid that Stan is incredibly attached to.

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So yeah, I’m neutral when it comes to shipping it, meaning I don’t ship it but don’t mind seeing ship art of it. And I do find their friendship interesting in canon, though I don’t think they could grow closer unless Cartman stops being such an asshole towards Kyle, which I doubt will ever happen given the need of a status quo (sort of, the show does have character development).

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- Ky//man : possibly my least favorite ship and one that makes me deeply uncomfortable, which probably isn’t helped by the fact that Kyle’s my favorite character and I don’t want to see him suffer like this.

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Okay, positive things first, I’ll admit that I do believe that Cartman’s relationship with Kyle is the most interesting Cartman relationship, and the show absolutely wouldn’t be the same without them butting heads all the time.

Another thing I consider more positive : I can’t say I really see much of a possibility for the two of them having a healthy relationship. But tbh, we are talking about fictional characters.

Not every relationship has to be 100% healthy in media. So as long as you’re aware a relationship isn’t perfect and don’t try to romanticize or fetishize the fucked up elements in it (looking at you, proshippers), honestly you’re good to go. If you believe Cartman can be redeemed and Kyle can find it within himself to forgive him, good for you and have fun making your stories !

(Tbh I do believe that one can talk about anything in their story, including fucked up elements. But if you want to write it with a narrator finding it positive, write it from the POV of the perpetrator or a “brainwashed” victim. I do think it’s possible to have a narrator view abuse as “good”, as long as the story is meant to make the reader uncomfortable about it and/or have elements making it very obvious that the narrator has a messed up POV. Oh and obviously please put a disclaimer in the summary or notes to warn about the messed up stuff)

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Now, onto the negative (yeah, sorry, this pretty much turned into a rant) : Tbf, when I first heard of the ship, it didn’t surprise me in the slightest because this is like, shipping 101. So when I started re-watching, I was basically “I understand why this exists but it’s not my thing”. And then I reached the episode “Gin//ger Cow”…yeah, let’s just say I went from “not my thing” to “NOPE” very quickly.

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So, first things first, my issue with the ship is NOT just the fact that the relationship is inherently toxic with many instances of Cartman being the worst. I mean, I ship Cartters, it’d be hypocritical of me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My issue is the fact that, not only had the relationship not gotten better, it got worse. In early seasons, Cartman saw Kyle as a rival to take down, someone he enjoyed for his reactions. But in newer seasons, with episodes like “Gin//ger Cow” and “Human Centi//ipad”, we see that Cartman is fine with Kyle not fighting back as long as it means that Kyle is an object or a trophy that Cartman owns.

That’s my issue with this relationship. It has gotten to a point where it’s just too fucked up for me to enjoy (I mean, I didn’t enjoy it in the first place because enemies to lovers isn’t my thing, but those episodes made my views on this ship worst).

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On top of that, you have stuff like Cartman being so much of a stalker that he knows exactly what will make Kyle react in which way, leading to him being able to manipulate Kyle into anything. Like, seriously, look at episodes like “Cr//ack Ba//by Association” or “Tegrity Farms”. If Cartman wants Kyle to do something, he will get Kyle to do that thing, to the point where he even mocks Kyle like in “Le Peti//te Tour//ette” or “Oba//ma Wins”.

Then there’s also the way Cartman swoops in and plays nice with Kyle every single time Stan and Kyle fight, which makes my skin crawl because taking someone when they’re at their most vulnerable and playing nice to gain their trust is incredibly abusive and, as interesting as it is to watch, god does it makes me feel bad for Kyle.

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Another thing that doesn’t help is the way Kyle clearly hates Cartman but also sort of needs him due to his desire to be a good person, since Cartman is so obviously the bad guy that it makes Kyle the good guy everytime they fight.

Also Kyle is just so used to the abuse at this point that he kinda normalized it. Which actually makes me think that, if the two were to be separated at some point, Kyle would at first be incredibly happy but then have a phase where he misses Cartman, not only due to the change of status quo that feels weird but also because, without someone who is so obviously the bad guy, it makes it harder to argue with people who actually have a point in their reasoning. Ultimately though, Kyle is much better off with Cartman as far away from him as possible.

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All that being said, there is absolutely no denying that Cartman has some sort of unhealthy obsession with Kyle, which has gotten sexual on a few instances. Like said earlier, I don’t consider it love but it’s definitely there. Though, I don’t think Kyle could ever reciprocate, and for his own good, I hope he doesn’t.

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Another thing that I’ll agree with is a post I remember reading that had two ideas for how a relationship between them could work. First idea was Kyle being at his most vulnerable and Cartman managing to manipulate him into a relationship, tho obviously it would be toxic. And the second idea is them never seeing each other for years and, once they reunite, Cartman is a better person and Kyle is able to heal and forgive him, which would bring a healthy relationship that works.

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Though, about that second idea, looking at “Post Covid/Return of Covid”, I’m not sure how realistic it is. Thing is, like I said earlier, Cartman was only being genuine towards his wife and kids while being an asshole to everyone else. And if he and Kyle were to be in a relationship, I don’t think Kyle would be okay with that. He’ll probably want Cartman to be nice to everyone. Problem is, I don’t think Cartman is actually capable of that. : /

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And in general, as much as I love Kyle, I’ll admit I can’t help but think that he’ll be the kind to nitpick or complain about little things a lot, and I doubt Cartman has the patience to deal with someone like that, not helped by the fact that Kyle seems to be pretty fatphobic so he might try to convince Cartman to do something about his diet, enraging the guy.

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So yeah, all-in-all, it’s just not my thing.

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- Ken//man : neutral-positive on this one. I don’t ship it but I kinda like the idea. Again, I’m a huge “best friends to lovers” person so of course I wouldn’t mind this one.

Besides, it’s interesting how Kenny is one of the kids that are the least afraid of Cartman, possibly due to his immortality. Speaking of which, I’m guessing that Cartman being able to remember Kenny���s death or having some sort of connection to him must be a pretty interesting thing to develop in order to bring them closer for the ship.

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Another thing about them that kinda makes me laugh is how one-sided their friendship is, with Cartman clearly considering Kenny his best friend while Kenny doesn’t care about Cartman all that much.

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But yeah, in any case, pretty cute friendship with them being close to being equals and you do have the hope of Cartman being nicer towards Kenny as they grow up, since he clearly cares for him. It’s not enough for me to ship it but I definitely like the idea.

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- Can//dy : my second favorite Cartman ship. Fun fact, when I first heard of this ship, I had an ironic enjoyment of it because the idea of these two together amused me a lot. Then I read a fic with them being friends + thought about it a bit more and, honestly, I kind of love it. Actually, this is probably one of if not the healthiest relationship Cartman could have, at least when only taking into account the people Cartman knows and had hurt.

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I mean, thinking about how people at times compare Kyle and Wendy for being rather similar in their self-rightfulness, I’d honestly go ahead and say that Can//dy is basically Ky//man but better, due to 3 major differences between those two relationships :

1. Cartman doesn’t have an unhealthy obsession towards Wendy the same way he does for Kyle and Butters, which already sets this relationship as healthier than both of them

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2. Wendy doesn’t have as much trauma related to Cartman as Kyle and Butters do.

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3. Unlike Kyle who’s very gullible and often tries to be the bigger person while fighting Cartman, Wendy doesn’t easily fall for Cartman schemes and doesn’t mind playing dirty. Take the Smurf episode for example. Not only did Wendy not react to Cartman’s taunts for most of the episode, but in the end, she played directly into Cartman’s narrative, getting down his level in order to beat him.

This actually makes their dynamic incredibly interesting and gives their ship tons of potential. Wendy is the one person who not only doesn’t fear Cartman but also knows how to play him.

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Then there’s also other things like Wendy in early seasons falling for him that one time, or even episodes like “Pajama Day” with Wendy’s idea being complimented by Cartman for being incredibly manipulative.

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Honestly, Can//dy is a girlboss couple with a lot of potential and it’s a shame this ship isn’t that popular, because it’s honestly really good on top of being one of the few Cartman relationships in which Cartman is on almost-equal terms with someone. All Cartman needs is to learn to respect Wendy on a more personal level.

Overall, their relationship has some serious fun and interesting potential.

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Butters

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- St//utters : neutral-positive. Their friendship in the show is very cute and honestly underrated. Plus, it’s very sweet how protective Stan can be towards Butters at times, like him calling out Cartman in “Grounded Vindaloop”, his anger at the beginning of “Butterballs” (making it seems like he’s the one who wrote the anonymous letter) or him using Butters’ distress in the Pandemic Special, which in a way could be seen as him caring for the kid.

As for Butters, you have him hyping Stan up throughout the entirety of “A Scause for Applause” or him comforting Stan at the end of “Band in China”.

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Though, at the same time, it seems that they’re not that close and are willing to bicker for the people they care more about.

For example, Butters being nice to Stan for most of “The Cissy” but then bullying him when Cartman asks him for support. Then there’s also SOT, in that one scene with all the kids arguing at the beginning of the third day (when you’re tasked with recruiting the girls), with Stan speaking up to defend Kyle and Butters speaking up to defend Cartman. You also have Stan telling Butters to shut it in “The Big Fix”.

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So yeah, like for Cartman and Kenny, I don’t ship it but don’t mind the idea and can find fanart of it cute.

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- Kyu//tters (apparently that’s the name) : neutral. I was gonna say neutral-negative due to their canon interactions but I actually don’t mind the ship in the slightest, even with their canon relationship.

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Because yeah, the thing between these two is that they don’t like each other, and by that I mean Butters has continuously been a huge asshole to Kyle and had been shown to bully him on his own on the regular.

Tbh, as much as I love Kyle, I actually find this hilarious. There’s just something about seeing Butters clearly considering everyone to be an asshole but still acting nice with literally everyone else but Kyle. Like Butters really went “fuck this one guy in particular !” and I love it.

Though, I do think that the reason why Butters acts like that is due to his friendship with Cartman. Since Cartman is always the worse with Kyle, it probably made Butters believe that Kyle is an acceptable target.

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But this aside, I actually wish we could have more interactions between these two.

Thing is, they’re the two people Cartman is obsessed with. As a result, they’re also the two people who know Cartman the most, or at least they think so.

Gotta be honest, I’d love to see a situation of Kyle talking about how to take down Cartman because he knows everything about him, mentioning a preference Cartman has, only for Butters to be like “actually, Cartman likes X more”. Cue a talk revealing that Butters knows Cartman on a much more personal level due to him being Cartman’s confidant. Also, this could probably lead to Kyle having yet another existential crisis.

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Another thought about them and Cartman that could be interesting would be them talking about what they think about the guy.

An idea that came to mind was Cartman ending in juvie/prison and, after a few weeks of happiness, Kyle realizes that he sort of misses Cartman due to how used he is to have him around to oppose. And I feel like, in such a situation, Butters would be the best person Kyle could talk to, because Butters would also feel strange about Cartman not being there. Also, Butters would probably go apeshit on the regular out of boredom because of course he would, I mean c’mon !

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So yeah, I don’t really ship it or even see their canon relationship as a friendship, but despite that I don’t mind the ship and can find fanart of it being cute.

That being said, if I had to make a fic with this ship, it would absolutely be the two of them pretending to be in love in order to drive Cartman crazy. I mean, these two are his worst enemy and his closest confidant, both being kids Cartman’s obsessed with. He would not be okay with it and it could be hilarious.

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- Bun//ny : neutral-negative, though neutral-positive if it’s Bunn//yman. I don’t ship it, don’t mind it for the most part but is a bit annoyed from how popular it is, especially since this fandom is really into monoshipping (each character has one popular ship that +70% of the fandom sticks to, leading to other ships having little content).

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Simply put, my issue with this ship is that I just don’t see any chemistry between them. The only things they have in common is being Cartman’s closest friends and being huge pervs towards women, which isn’t the best approach for a gay ship, even if the characters are bi/pan.

Like some people have said it before, Kenny and Butters are the type of guys who only hang out because they’re both invited by Cartman. And when Cartman leaves the room, they just sit in awkward silence until he comes back.

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To explain a bit more my view on them not being compatible, I just feel like Butters is too extreme for Kenny. While Kenny can be a little shit at times, he’s still one of the best people in South Park and has sacrificed himself on several occasions. So I feel like Kenny wouldn’t be okay with someone like Butters, who takes things up to eleven so easily.

Tbh, I’m still surprised that Kenny in Post-Covid agreed to get money through Butters selling NFTs that ruined hundreds if not thousands of lives, especially since Kenny was working for the better of humanity. Also, I’m surprised no-one ever brings up the fact that Kenny was okay with NFTs, unless Butters/Vic never told him.

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So yeah, their personalities just feel too different on that front. That’s also why I think they both work better with Cartman, including as a trio, since Cartman can be more or less extreme depending on the situation, making him a good fit for both.

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As for their friendship in the show, they’re honestly not that close, and it’s pretty surprising that what seems to be the official SP wiki singles out Butters’ friendship with Kenny (along with Cartman’s) instead of Stan’s, whom Butters acts closer to.

On a shipping POV though, it is pretty funny to see this page call Kenny’s views on Butters “big-bro instinct” in a sense, even comparing how Kenny acts towards Butters to how he is with his little sister. But this aside, they just barely interact in the show unless Cartman is involved.

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One last thing about them, though it’s a headcanon, is the idea that Kenny feels some resentment against Butters.

Basically, it’s due to the fact that, in early seasons, it was always the main 4 together. And with Stan and Kyle being closer friends, Cartman and Kenny kind of latched onto each other as best friends.

Then Kenny died and Cartman tried to replace him. And even after Kenny came back, while Tweek went back to being a minor character, Butters stayed in the front line, mostly because Cartman wanted him to. Which even led to episodes in which Kenny isn’t with the group at all but Butters is, like “Canada On Strike”.

So basically, there’s this headcanon that, for a long time, Kenny resented Butters for taking his place not only in the group (sorta) but also as Cartman’s best friend. Though I like to imagine that, after “Going Native”, Kenny grew to accept Butters and that’s when he started having that “brotherly protectiveness” towards him.

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If you’re still here, thanks for reading such a long-ass thing ! 😅

[made-nondescript]

MCC 21 Viewership statistics! Detailed graphs + analysis below the cut :D

Graphs are labelled in BST and the axes in 24-hour UTC. (19:00 ->  8:00PM.) Enjoy!

Total Viewership Over Time

Peak viewership was 424,196 viewers at 8:53PM on the cusp of Grid Runners and Rocket Spleef Rush, the third and fourth games of the event. That sharp drop during Dodgebolt is the result of Dream going offline  and the boost at the end is his raid to Sapnap. Viewer retention was about 92.67% (424.2K -> 396.1K). That is basing retention off of the moment before the sharp drop in Dodgebolt. If you base it on the peak after Dream's raid goes through, it's closer to 86.35% (424.2K -> 366.3K). Either way, pretty good! Dodgebolt drop off was somewhere around 35.8K (378.9K -> 343.1K) or about 10% of viewers. (This is a very rough estimate given how weird and jumpy the numbers recorded in DB are.)

Team Viewership Over Time

SO consistent this time around, hardly any bumps or dips anywhere. The weird dip and peak on Green's line prior to the start of Survival Games is Dream raiding himself from his alt. I recorded both channel's viewership for completeness! The dip and bump during Survival Games is from Tommy. Unclear to me why, though. He bungees 17.6K viewers in about four minutes. Might be Twitch's API having a fit.

Individual Viewership Over Time

Again! Not much going on. Grian's line is fun as always - smoother as a result of streaming on YouTube instead of Twitch, which has a more responsive (albeit difficult) API. Phil (orange line towards the bottom, in the mess of lines) gets a boost during Rocket Spleef.

Viewership By Game

Same disclaimer as last time, the beginning and end times of games are very loose. I double checked the SG time and it appears correct so I guess this MCC just took a bit longer for people to trickle in, but to be fair a few minutes can make a huge difference. This is the second time SOT has had a positive increase in viewers, impressive especially as a second-half game. Unlike the last time I did this, the second and third games have a positive value rather than negative. Otherwise, reasonably consistent with last time.

Median % Viewership

Look at that 1/3 domination by Pink! The fun thing about having a bunch of very popular/big streamers on the same team is we get to see how much their audiences overlap, and from the looks of it not a ton for both Pink and Green. Not a surprise. I think last time (either in the post, or comments) it was speculated that MCC20's lower viewership was because no member of the Dream Team was playing (and Grian was missing as well). I think this very unscientifically contributes to that theory. If the Dteam's audiences watched MCC no matter what and watched someone else last event we would see a decrease in the viewership of people they'd watched instead. It's up to debate who would have served as a replacement for those viewers but I don't see any suspicious declines. Feel free to fight me on this, though.

Median % By Group

This might be the first time any subgroup has netted 10% of viewership away from DSMP. This is probably because Grian and Scar were a highly anticipated duo for this event and combined got about 9% of total viewership.

Individual Peak Viewership

Dark sections represent median viewership, and the light section is the difference between median and peak. The curve is a little less exponential this time! The top ten fought eachother harder.

Including this as a follow up to last time, mostly. I am dubious of the worth of this metric lol but I think it's interesting and fun. The column on the far right shows what percent the peak was of the median of a given streamer. So, Snifferish's peak viewership was 718% of her median, telling us that they either gained or lost a lot of viewers at some point (in this case it was because of the Dodgebolt boost).

There is not a single repeat person on the line up here. Not one.  Dream having the smallest % difference between his median and peak makes sense to me seeing how his fans are (the majority of the event was streaming on Dream, not dreamwastaken though it's an honor he claims either way). Very interesting that both times the bottom five has included someone with top ten viewership.

Notably, Ranboo is not in the bottom 5 anymore when last time he was 3rd (107%). Might be a fault of circumstance - Ranboo was streaming well before the event start, meaning he was acting as a "pre-show" for a portion of those watching. You can see on the individual viewership graph how he peaks around the event start and then goes back down to where he was before, presumably because those who were watching him as "pre-show" left to go watch their intended streamer. They were replaced by Ranboo viewers, but not in enough numbers to maintain that peak number. This event he was 11th, with 117%. YouTube streamers are potentially at a loss here too. YouTube's API is much more sensitive which will affect the depth of dips and height of peaks, giving us a more accurate read of what was going on but also making it difficult to directly compare with Twitch streamers.

Individual Median Viewership

Median viewership! Grian resumes his normal spot and Scar stays top ten.

Raw data and an additonal survey can be found on u/chel-blue on Reddit

[anonquack]

| Best Friend |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!

Word Count: 10661

Warnings: Some curse words and overthinking. This one got a bit long!

Summary: After a CC Convention is announced, you and your friends plan to meet up for it. You expect to enjoy yourself with friends but instead are forced to deal with feelings you didn't even know you had. Luckily, your friends are there to give you a push in the right direction.

"Okay but height comparison between Quackity and Sapnap when??" You asked midst all the chaos occurring on that wonderful night. Despite your busy schedule, you'd gotten some time off to finally stream and some friends to keep you company.

Which resulted in this mess of a stream you were now broadcasting.

Your question caught their attention, and a soft scoff could be heard from Sapnap's mic.

"You're kidding, right? You're basically saying you need to CHECK that I'm taller when we already know that's true. You're insulting me." Sapnap said, the cockiness evident in his tone. You couldn't help but stare at your monitor in amusement at how sure of himself he sounded.

"That's not true. Literally check the height check Karl and I had versus the one Sapnap had with him." Quackity argued back, earning scoffs from almost everyone on the call.

"I know you're trying to use that to back you up, but you're just proving my point." Sapnap was intense whenever he became competitive or got into arguments, so you could only raise your brows as you watched chat fly by with their own opinions on the discussion, including their very questionable comments regarding Sapnap and how attractive he was being.

"Well, personally," Bad quipped in, "I think Sapnap's the taller one. Just makes the most sense since Quackity gives off Short Person Energy."

"Yeah? Well keep that WRONG opinion to yourself. That shit's embarrassing-"

"Language!" Bad interrupts Quackity, eliciting a laugh from everyone on call.

"You know chat," you call out after pondering on a solution for a bit, "We can figure this all out during the meetup!"

"Meetup?" Bad asked, confusion evident in his tone. You could almost see his furrowed brows and confused smile.

"Yes, Bad, meet-up. All four of us. Plus the others. And you guys, if you decide to go." The last bit was directed at the viewers. "Don't you remember? The convention is a thing that's supposed to be happening this year."

"Ohhh." He let out a small sound, as if his memory was finally coming back. "I haven't decided if I'm going yet." He admits softly.

"You most certainly are! You have to be there so I can beat BOTH Sapnap and you up once we all find out I'm the taller one." Quackity chimes in finally, teasing tone evident.

"As if," Sapnap scoffs, "Bad and I will literally kick your ass."

"Language." Soft as ever, and also a sign that it's getting late. You look over at your monitor, which displayed the time before letting out a small gasp.

"Oh- it's late. I hope I haven't been keeping you guys awake for too long. It's probably best we end for tonight anyway." You hum softly as you click some tabs away, noticing the faint sounds of stretching heard in the background of the call.

"It's fine, I wasn't even tired until you mentioned how late it was. You should've kept quiet." Quackity says with a patronizing tone, to which you simply chuckle.

"Thank you guys for sticking around. I really had a lot of fun.. we should do this more often. Us four." It was an honest confession, but perhaps too soft for them all and too personal for the audience to listen in on too.

"I had fun too, you should invite me to your streams more often, or, whatever." Sapnap mumbles, sounding a bit tired as well, but sincere despite the lack of care in his words.

It results in a small smile on your face anyway.

"Bye!! Thank you for inviting us, I'm gonna miss messing around with you all. Sleep well." Bad adds, a small whine to his voice as they all start saying their goodbyes.

As they finish up their goodbyes, you quickly deafen to start saying your own goodbyes to chat and thanking the last minute subs rolling in.

After all is over, you finish closing up the tabs, leaving the discord one last. As you're about to officially leave the call, you realize there is still one person there. He hadn't left.

"Quackity-?" You'd voiced out in confusion after undeafening. You'd thought they'd all leave while you took your sweet time saying goodbye.

"Yeah?" He sounded confused by your own confusion. You couldn't help the small smile that appeared on your face.

"Were you waiting for me to end or did you just forget to leave the call?" It was a genuine question, but perhaps a teasing tone slipped in towards the end.

"I was waiting, I'm not an asshole nor a dumbass." He lets out a laugh before continuing. "I just wanted to say I had fun tonight."

You hummed softly, "I'm glad you did. I had fun too."

"If I'm being honest, I wasn't feeling all too well, and just, joking around with you.. Sapnap, and Bad.. well it was just really nice. Thank you." His tone was soft, filled your headphones so nicely and brought comfort into the air.

"Oh, well it's good that you're feeling better now, but if you ever aren't feeling up for a stream.. please tell me, okay? Your wellbeing is much more important to me than a scuffed stream."

"No no, it's fine. I needed something to distract myself with and you all helped so much. It really got me excited for the meet-up. I- I can't wait to hang out with you in person. With all of you, I mean."

The smile on your face grew, almost to the point where it had your cheeks hurting. "I can't wait to hang out with all of you either. Good thing we won't have to wait long, hm?"

Faint sounds in the background of stretching and even softer yawns. "Mhm. Do you wanna switch to phone call?"

It was the usual invitation to fall asleep on call together. At this point, it almost felt strange whenever you headed to bed without Quackity mumbling stuff about his day to you or hearing the soft breathing sounds from his end of the call.

"Sounds good. Talk to you in a bit." You smiled, hearing a small bye from him before leaving the call. You turned off your whole setup for the night and headed straight to your bed.

It didn't take long for the phone to start ringing a few moments after you'd managed to lay down.

"Hi." You answered softly, placing the phone next to your head as you covered yourself with your blankets. It was only a matter of time before the sleepiness took over, but for now you'd enjoy Quackity's company.

"Hey." Was his response, voice sounding much closer now that you were laying down with your phone so close to your ear. It almost felt like he was laying down beside you.

You wondered for a split second what that would be like, if he'd be warm and welcoming or if he'd value his personal space while sharing a bed. As friends, of course.

You refocused on his voice as he began talking about his plans for the meet-up, and all the things he wanted to do once you all were in person. It was so sweet to hear how excited he was, and just how much he wanted to do with you all.

Sweet moments like these make you hyper-aware of the amazing friends you have, and how much love you have for them all. Tonight couldn't have been better, all thanks to them.

—

As the meet-up date gets closer, and more interactions happen during streams / calls / messages, it becomes more evident how much your friends mean to you; just how badly you want to meet all of them.

And as the date for the meet-up gets closer, responsibilities such as packing for your trip join your very long To-Do list.

You're on the phone with Bad as you both choose clothes to take, folding and packing them nicely. Making conversation, with Rat barking in the background occasionally, as the cherry on top.

Moments like these make you realize how good of a friend Badboyhalo is. He's kind, always knows what to say to help people feel better. He's funny, he's charming, full of love and support for his friends.

You two had been joking around on FaceTime for quite some time after you'd packed all essentials. He showed you tricks he'd managed to teach Rat, and you gave him an apartment tour.

Neither of you seemed to be getting tired, so you stayed on call until somehow you ended up sprawled on your sofa, laptop at hand, screen sharing YouTube videos. Bad was resting comfortably on his bed as small giggles left him at the absurdity of the videos you two were watching.

Every few minutes a small "We should do that," or a "Imagine Sapnap doing that," or a "I want to meet you all so bad," would be murmured into the air with only a hum of agreement to compliment it. It only made you yearn for your friends even more.

"Bad." You called out after quite a few random videos and lids getting heavier with each second.

"Yes?"

"When I see you, I'm gonna hug the shit out of you. I hope you know that." You said, small smile on your face as you watched his head lift up from the pillow at such a fast speed.

"Language-! But well, that would be nice. I will also be giving you tons of hugs. To all of you." He pauses for a second before continuing. "I was actually kinda nervous for the meetup, but now I'm just so excited."

"I'm really glad to hear that, Bad. I will make sure you enjoy yourself to the max."

"Thank you y/n," he replies softly, resting his head against the pillow again, "I will make sure you enjoy yourself too."

You smiled at the state he was in, you two would fall asleep in no time, so your thoughts were honestly incoherent, and your tongue could not be tamed as your thoughts wandered aimlessly.

"Do you think I can take Sapnap and Quackity in a fight? In case they try to beat me up?"

"I doubt they'll try to beat you up, they'll be too busy fighting each other, and he'll be too busy thinking about how cute you are." His words were slightly slurred at this point, and all you could do was laugh as you imagined a fight between Sapnap and Quackity as fans tried getting a picture with them.

It crossed your mind for half a second to ask who exactly would be thinking such a thing, but any sign of a functioning brain between you two was nonexistent at that very moment. So all you really said was, "Good. But I'm still going to be prepared just in case."

—

After so many excited calls and planning, the day was finally here. Everyone would be traveling out today to meet up at the house you'd all managed to rent for the week / weekend you guys would be staying there. This way, you'd all be able to maximize the time spent together, and also save money. It sounded like a wonderful idea, really.

After arriving in the city, you patiently waited for the driver that'd be taking you there. You couldn't help but realize just how anxious you were starting to feel. The moment when you'd meet all your friends was getting closer and closer. What if it wasn't everything you'd expected? Or if it was awkward?

The ride there was too quick. Before you knew it, you were pulling your luggage out the trunk and heading up the path that lead to the front door. You stood still for a few seconds before your knuckles were knocking against the firm wood. The noise echoing for a few seconds as you stood in anticipation.

The door swung open, and with a big grin, you were pulled into a hug by no other than Badboyhalo. You quickly wrapped your arms around him as well, not wanting to let go. He was finally here! And he was real! Real, so so real. Any concerns you had on the way here slowly dissipated the longer he had you in his warm hold.

"Bad!" You said happily, slightly squishing him as your embrace tightened for a few seconds. Seriously too good to be true, but true nonetheless.

As he finally pulled away to smile at you, you felt lightheaded at the insane rush of dopamine in your system. As your head finally cleared up, you realized someone else was walking towards you two.

He wore a small smile on his face as he approached, it slowly growing as he got closer and as excitement became harder and harder to contain.

"Quackity." You called out, face lighting up immediately at the sight of him.

"Hi." He responded, sheepish smile on his face. Had he always looked this good?

It only took a few steps before your arms were around him, pulling him close. Although your firm grip caught him off-guard, he managed to melt into the hug soon after, arms wrapping around you as well.

"Big Q! Quackity! Alex!" You smiled as you pulled away, hand reaching up to give his cheek a light squish. You couldn't really help yourself, he was just too pleasing for your eyes. If the dopamine from earlier wasn't already too much, having him this close and feeling oh so real was even more deadlier.

He laughed at your affectionate touch, obviously not having enough of you either. It didn't take long for him to pull you back in for another embrace. "Holy shit." he mumbled into the hug, "You're actually fucking here. I can't believe it y/n." His tone was soft and it had you melting into his embrace all over again. It was intoxicating in the best way, but eventually you both pull away, smiling at each other with so much appreciation.

You hadn't really taken into account just how excited you were to see all your friends, especially someone as important as Quackity. The one you told almost everything to during late night calls, the person you could honestly consider a best friend. All of them were that to you, but it just felt so much stronger with him. You didn't really know how to explain it.

Before you could even give your mind time to dwell, Quackity was being pulled off you by none other than Sapnap and Karl, which quickly replaced Quackity's arms with their own.

"Guys!!" You called out happily as you hugged them back just as tightly. "Am I really the last one here? Where's Dream, or George?"

"We've literally been waiting like an hour for you to get here! We were all getting impatient." Karl laughed as he finally pulled away from the hug.

"Seriously impatient." Mumbled Sapnap into your shoulder before letting go from the warm embrace. "What took so long?"

"Sorry that I don't live as close to here as you guys do. My flight took longer than expected too."

"Who cares! At least you're finally here." Dream's voice, followed by heavy footsteps on the floor, and laughter as George ran over to where you stood with your suitcase.

"Y/N!! We're all finally together." You almost closed your eyes instinctively from how bright his smile was. George's energy was so contagious, you couldn't help but return the energy he was giving you.

Finally, you turned to Dream, who was standing there in all his tall glory.

"Holy shit." You mumbled as you eyed him from head to toe. "You're so fucking tall."

Laughter erupted from everyone before big arms wrapped around you, filling you with warmth and love. You were finally here with all your friends, and it was better than you could've ever imagined.

"Okay," Karl announces once everyone had greeted each other and given all the much needed hugs, "We were actually thinking movie night so we can all just relax and enjoy each other's company. What do you think, y/n?"

"You aren't getting any complaints from me. What movie are we watching?"

At that, Karl and Sapnap raced off to see who could get the remote control faster. You assumed it was in regards to who had the power to choose what everyone watched.

You watched in amusement as Karl and Sapnap argued over what movie to watch, George chiming in here and there just to fuel the lighthearted argument.

"Did you think they'd be just as annoying in person?" You jumped slightly at the sudden voice coming from behind you, but quickly relaxed as Quackity stood beside you.

"No, I also didn't think it was such a big deal who got to choose the movie." Your eyes trailed back to the arguing pair.

"Oh hush. The food Dream ordered isn't even here so really we're doing you all a favor. Taking our time to choose wisely." Karl argued back, to which Dream laughed.

"I guess that's one way to see it, but it's almost here according to the app, so hurry up."

Silence, before the arguing resumed and filled the living room with a pleasing buzz.

You watched as Dream headed over to you and gently placed his hand onto your shoulder, "Let me show you where your room is so you can get all comfy before movie night starts, yeah?"

"Thank you, Dream. I'd actually really appreciate that." With that, you gave Quackity a small wave before following after Dream. Freshening up after sitting in a plane for hours would certainly help make the rest of the night 10x more pleasant.

—

Once you'd walked back out into the living room, you saw everyone had their plate of food, everyone already comfy in their spots.

You looked around before spotting the empty seat beside Alex and the plate of food you assumed was for you.

"Hurry! He's not gonna bite. Sit down so we can finally start movie night." Sapnap whined the longer you stood around.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that.." George mumbled before receiving a stiff elbow in the ribs from the person seated next to him.

"Language." The last fatal blow.

Dream chuckled before pointing at the available seat. "We even waited for you in order to start eating, so sit your ass down."

You playfully rolled your eyes as they all started complaining about how long you were taking. You sat down beside him, giving him a glance before picking up the plate of food before you. It was still nice and steamy, just like Dream had said it would be after dropping you off in your room. You hadn't realized just how hungry you were until now.

After taking a few bites and hearing the movie start, your gaze returned to the person peacefully sat next to you, taking a few seconds to truly take in the sight before you.

He was wearing a plain black short-sleeve shirt, and some basketball shorts. He looked so comfortable. And even indoors with friends, the beanie kept his hair away from his face and hidden, poorly, but hidden nonetheless.

You smiled as you got comfortable as well, admiring how the light from the TV illuminated his face before finally deciding to focus on the actual entertainment Karl and Sapnap had worked so hard to pick. All for movie night.

The movie was interesting, and you couldn't help the few times you almost choked on your food due to all the jokes being slipped in throughout the movie. Maybe Karl was right about how it takes time to pick the perfect film that fit the mood. A good laugh, some good food, and the company and comfort from friends was the best thing to do on the first day together.

Before you all knew it, you were 2 movies in and all in drowsy states.

Everyone excused themselves, the exception being George and Quackity whom had fallen asleep towards the end of the second movie. Dream agreed to wake George up, meanwhile you turned to the sleeping figure next to you.

He looked too cute, mouth slightly open from the uncomfortable position he'd fallen asleep in. You gently shook his shoulder. "Alex." You called out a few times, until finally his eyes fluttered open and he slowly looked around in confusion.

"You fell asleep during the movie. We're all heading to bed for the day, come on."

Regardless of his sleepy state, he stood and followed as you two headed to your rooms.

"Goodnight, Alex."

"Night, y/n."

As you finally laid in your bed for the next week, you couldn't help but feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful opportunity to meet all of your friends and share a home with them.

You couldn't wait to see what tomorrow had in store for you all.

—

It was a lazy morning and lazy afternoon the next day, the only exceptions being going out for lunch, but besides that everything was done in the comfort of their home.

Dream, Sapnap, and Karl were busy playing a multiplayer game in the living room while Bad, George, and Quackity messed around in the kitchen, eating snacks and making up the absolute dumbest shit to stay entertained.

It seemed difficult to choose which group to spend time with, but you found yourself headed towards the kitchen within seconds of contemplation. Sitting on a chair laughing at George's dumb jokes, egging Bad on, and laughing along to Quackity's contagious laughter.

You found yourself coincidentally seated beside Alex as you all continued to chat and mess around. After some time, the other three joined in, and dinner was ordered so they could all eat together after a long day of lazing around.

You'd all rented out the house for a few days before the convention in order to be able to enjoy more time together, so lazing around today hadn't really seemed like a waste of time, or like it could've been spent better. You'd definitely suggest actually going out for dinner rather than just ordering online for the rest of your stay though.

Before you knew it, chaotic dinner was over and people were headed straight to bed, a certain pair deciding to stay awake just a bit longer in the living room.

You rolled your eyes at their bullshit excuses before heading straight to your room. You quickly changed into sleepwear before sitting in bed and simply scrolling through social media. Honestly, you were tired but not to the point where you could easily doze off. Something felt like it was missing, and you silently racked your brain for answers while continuing the mindless scrolling on your phone.

About 30 minutes later, there was a soft knock on your door. Any distraction was welcome at this point, so you called out to let them know they could walk in.

Before you stood Alex, who seemed to be fresh out of the shower. He was in his sleepwear as well, but the beanie was nowhere in sight. His black hair was out in display, most likely to let it dry, but such a sight still had you in shock.

Not that you hadn't seen it before, but it always surprised you. No matter how many glimpses Quackity provided you with.

You stared in shock for a few seconds longer before snapping out of it and telling him to come in. He smiled and sat down on the edge of your bed.

"I couldn't sleep." He stated, before deciding to further explain. "I almost called you right now before going to bed.. I guess that's just how used I got to our calls-? But then I realized you're literally in the same house as me."

Ah. So was that what was missing? The reason why you couldn't doze off as easily? Because you weren't on call with him?

"That's true, I guess." You hummed before chuckling, "What's wrong with talking on the phone while we're here too?"

"You kidding? I'm not trying to be like Dream and Sapnap who still voice call and barely see each other even though they literally live together." You laughed at his comment, making him laugh as well at the absurdity of that situation.

"So what does that mean? You came to sleep here or something?" It was a joke, really. But I mean, why else would this dude be standing here by your door, talking about how he wanted to sleep call but instead found himself here.

"If you'd let me."

You almost choked at how easily he answered, was he joking too or was he actually expecting you to let him climb into bed? To sleep, of course, but it still had you taken-aback.

"You're serious?"

"Does it look like I'm joking?"

You stared at him for a bit before shrugging, "Get in then."

Nothing wrong with 'sleep calling' in person, right? Laying in the same bed, chatting until each other's voices lulled them to sleep. I mean, just because it was in person this time didn't make it any weirder. They'd slept on call together too many times to count. This was fine.

Alex smiled as he closed the door behind him and headed onto your bed, starting to get comfortable.

As you two lay there, you couldn't help but turn to your side and simply stare over at him. His hair to be exact. He'd never had it visible for this long, on group calls, normal calls, or just showing glimpses. It felt so surreal.

"What?" He mumbled.

"It's just- your hair. It looks so nice. You look nice." You smiled at the sight before adding, "You should do a hair reveal already so everybody can see this."

He turned to lay on his side as well so he could be facing you. "Hell no. Plus, doesn't it make you feel special? Being one of the few people who have seen it? Especially up close and personal."

The last part made you realize just how close you two had gotten within the last few seconds. Being at this proximity made you realize a lot more facial details you hadn't noticed before, probably due to camera quality and pixels.

Your hand slowly reached out, coming to a halt next to his head. He realized what you were trying to do and came a bit closer, letting your fingers gently run through his hair. After a few seconds, it all felt too natural.

There you were, laying in bed with Alex, gently playing with his dark locks as you talked about who knows what and simply enjoyed each others company.

This is basically what those late night calls felt like. Except this was definitely way better. It had the physical aspect of it that calls did not. You got to see him in such perfect resolution face to face, without worrying about any possible lag. You both were real. Basking in each others presences happily.

It didn't take too long for you both to fall asleep, and it didn't take too long either for your sleeping bodies to find comfort in the heat sources nearby.

What started as a simple arm draped around the other to steal a bit of body heat turned into having him close enough to smell the scent that lingered on him from his shower. Close enough for his grip on you to feel just a bit too intimate. Close enough where maybe their noses touched.

That was possibly the comfiest 9 hours of sleep either of them had gotten in a long fucking time.

—

The warmth you find yourself surrounded by makes it hard to get out of bed. As you attempt to fall back asleep, you realize that you're not tired. On the contrary, this might be the most satisfied (in terms of energy and sleep) you've felt in a long time.

What the fuck??

That's when that warmth you'd loved not even a minute ago comes to mind. At first you'd thought it might've been the blanket, but one glimpse to the side answers all your questions.

Alex was the one providing you with this comfortable and lovely warmth. He'd come over last night talking about 'sleep calling' in person. How could you forget?

The tension that had spiked in your body at the realization that someone was in bed with you oozed away as you looked at his peaceful state. He looked.. cute.

A few hair strands were on his face, and you couldn't help as your hand instinctively reached out to get them off his face. You hoped it wouldn't wake him up. He looked too peaceful.

As his face came into full view now, you openly stared, noticing the little moles he had all over his face. It was like stars splattered on the night sky.

As your gaze lowered and lingered on his lips, you realized just how pink they really were. And how unbelievably soft-looking they were. It brought you back a memory of his smile from yesterday while you both ate and watched the movie. You hadn't really caught the bit that had made him laugh since you were staring at him. He had a really pretty smile.

Your thoughts were interrupted at the realization that his eyelids had fluttered open, and were now staring up at you.

Oh God. You probably looked like such a creep right now. The heat that was rising up your spine and onto your cheeks must've been obvious, since he let out a small laugh.

"Were you enjoying the view?"

His morning voice took you by surprise. Sure, you'd heard it during calls sometimes, but this was on another level. It was wonderful.

"I was debating whether or not I should wake you up. You looked too peaceful." You answered, trying your best to steady your embarrassment. It wasn't necessarily a lie. He just didn't have to know all the other thoughts that crossed your mind.

He chuckled at that, before stretching a bit. "Thanks for letting me wake up on my own." He sat up, looking over at you with a small, satisfied smile. "That might've been the best sleep I've gotten in a while."

"Me too." You admitted, soft smile on your lips meant for him and him only. He stared back before returning the smile.

You two stayed in peaceful silence before deciding now was probably the best time to get up and get some breakfast with the rest of them. "We should get dressed so we can go eat."

He simply nodded before giving a small wave, heading back to his own room.

It didn't take long before you were heading out of your room and following the faint laughter into the kitchen. They were seated at the table, barely setting plates down and getting ready to eat. Just in time.

"Y/N! Good morning." Karl smiled, waving you over to the available seat beside him. Everybody else called out their good mornings as you got settled into your seat.

"Was wondering when you'd wake up." Sapnap mumbled from the seat across you. "You and Quackity sleep so fucking much."

You tensed a bit at that. Did they know you two had slept together? In the same bed? Had they tried waking you up and found you two together?

It's not what it looks like, is what you'd probably say as an explanation. Even if they didn't ask for one.

George nods in agreement, "Sapnap and I almost went and knocked on both of your doors. But we figured you both must be tired, so we just came to get breakfast ready."

Okay, perhaps they didn't know. Afterall, they were suggesting that Quackity was still in his own room. "I'm sure he'll get here in a bit." You responded, thanking Dream as he set a cup down on the table for you.

"Finally! Sleeping beauty chooses to come grace us with his presence." Sapnap greeted. You turned your head to see none other than Quackity flipping Sapnap off as he walked into the kitchen. He was dressed for the day, and had his hair hidden away with a beanie.

"How'd you sleep?" Bad asks as Alex finally sits down at the table.

"Wonderful. Best sleep I've gotten in a while." His eyes meet yours for a bit, and you can't help but smile at the implications of his words. You'd helped him sleep well. He felt comfy with you. He smiled back before looking back to the cup being given to him.

"Mm that's good." Bad nodded, before serving whatever breakfast him and Dream had managed to cook for everyone. Bad never failed to amaze you, talented as always.

"We were planning on going out today, is everyone up for it?" George asks, looking around the table for any signs of complaints.

"Honestly I'm all for it. I want to spend time with you all, exploring or just looking around." Sapnap answered, to which you cooed.

"Aww Sapnap, we'd love to spend time with you too."

"I'd fucking hope so. Now where did you want to go, George?"

"Dream and I were researching fun things to do here and we found a pretty good list. Just need you all to say yes and we can head out after breakfast."

He wasn't getting any no's, so the plans were set. Everybody ate their breakfasts before heading out the door to wherever Dream and George planned on taking them.

As you all walked to your destination, which wasn't too far according to George, you found yourself walking beside Bad.

"So, Quackity huh?" You ripped your eyes off from where they were to look back at him.

"Huh?"

"You and Quackity." He wasn't elaborating any further, which left you confused.

"What? What about him?"

"Well, you were staring at him right now and-"

"Oh. I zoned out, Bad. I'm sorry. Hopefully you didn't get the wrong idea." You interrupted him, letting out a small laugh.

"Well, that's not really what gave me the 'wrong idea'.. it was mainly the smiles and stares you two were giving each other this morning. And well, in general. Wanna fill me in on something?" He raised his brow, putting some space between you two and the rest of them by slowing his pace.

Your eyes widened slightly as you slowed down as well. "He was staring at me?"

He nodded, before adding "As much as you were staring at him."

You opened your mouth to try and explain yourself, before you heard Dream calling out to you two, saying they found the place. You gave Bad an apologetic smile before walking with him to where the others stood.

You'd come to a place with food, alcohol, and arcade games. You couldn't have expected less from Dream and George. It was perfect for this group.

You watched as Karl and George bought the cards you'd all be using to play the games. Soon after, they came back and handed everyone their card. Everyone was ready to split off to play different games.

"Y/N and I are going to fetch a table so we can leave our stuff there." Bad said with a smile. You looked over at him knowingly before nodding in agreement.

The rest of them nodded, Sapnap grabbing Dream's arm and racing off with him to the games. Karl, George, and Quackity went off to another game, excited chatter following them.

You walked beside Bad in search of a table quietly, watching as he looked around before finally approaching a table big enough to seat you all.

He sat down, looking at you expectantly. You did the same and cleared your throat as his gaze remained on you. You let out a small sigh.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you." He smiled a bit at that. "I mean, he came to my room last night, said he couldn't sleep, and then we slept together. That's it."

You watched as his eyes widened slightly at the information he'd just gotten before your own eyes widened.

"Wait- no no! Not like that. I meant he literally slept with me. Like we fell asleep together." You could feel the heat rushing up to your face. "He said he got used to our sleep calling and I just let him sleep in my bed. It was really comfy."

You looked up, his stunned face making the heat rise faster. "Woah. I thought the cheeky little glances you guys were giving each other was things starting to get good, but you already shared a bed with him??" He let out an amused laugh.

"It's not that big of a deal, Bad. We sleep call all the time.." You felt sort of embarrassed, hearing his reactions and telling him things that felt more intimate than they should be.

"Uh? Not a big deal?? You're kidding right?" He let out a laugh, happy smile on his face. "You guys like each other!"

"Bad-! Keep it down please.. and we certainly do not." You were sweating at this point, Bad was so energetic and happy right now, and the thought of Alex hearing any of this had you on edge.

But the most discomforting part of it all was how much truth his words held. Did you actually like him?

"Am I lying, y/n?"

I don't know, is what you would've said, if it wasn't for the confusion clouding all your senses.

"y/n?"

You looked over at him, mouth slightly open, trying to form your thoughts. "You really think I like him?"

"I mean, I've been having a feeling. Since before the meet up."

What? Was it obvious for everyone? How had it taken this long for you to realize it? Those intrusive thoughts while you were staring at him this morning in bed. Had those always been there? Was he aware of your possible feelings?

"Holy fuck, Bad. A lot of it is starting to make sense." Your eyes were slightly wide from the fear of what this implied. What this meant for your friendship with him. "I-I think I do like him."

He seemed to notice how tense and shocked you looked, so he reached out and held your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

At the moment, you were connecting all the pieces, and things were slowly starting to make sense. Why you acted a certain way around him, random thoughts thinking he was cute, the need to meet him as soon as possible. God, why had it taken so long for you to realize?

"I mean, at least you ended up liking a nice muffin, right?" It sounded more like a question, which had you letting out a laugh. "What I mean is that he's a good guy, liking him isn't horrible. I can see why you'd end up liking him. Plus- I think everyone can see you two are pretty close."

His words helped ease the tension building up in your shoulders, but your head was still spinning. "I know he's nice, but in what sense? As in, I'll confess and he'll reject me nicely?" You paused, tensing up at just the thought of how awkward that would be. "I'd hate to ruin our friendship just because my dumbass caught feelings."

"Language." He mumbles, before letting out a small sigh. "He's nice as in he'll be understanding if he DOES reject you. But did you miss the last part of my speech? I said your friendship with Quackity is very different, anyone can tell you guys are really close. I can see where these feelings might've come from."

"Just because we're close doesn't excuse me having feelings for him. I mean, what does that say about me? Unable to have close friends without growing romantic feelings for them?" Your voice sounds hushed, as if it's dangerous to admit your feelings out loud.

"I'd say we're close friends, do we have romantic feelings for each other?" He asks softly, playing with your fingers absent-mindedly.

"I mean, I love you tons."

"I love you too, but it's not in the way you like Quackity, right?"

You kept quiet, gently biting at the inside of your cheek. Your brain was looking for ways to invalidate your feelings, tell you it wasn't right, but Bad was fighting through that and trying to reason with you.

"We both love all of our friends, and are really close to them.. but what you and Quackity have is different. I can see why you ended up liking him. Plus.. I really don't think he'd reject you. In fact, I think he likes you too."

"Bad." You warned, unsure you could handle overthinking the possibility that he liked you too right now. The realization of your own feelings was already too much.

"I'm just saying." He says, raising both hands in playful surrender. The sight elicits a small laugh from you.

But maybe.. maybe you were a bit curious. "You really think so?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't. Plus, this is coming from someone who's been friends with both of you for a very long time. I see and notice things."

"Thank you, Bad. I really appreciate you and just‐ thanks for talking this through with me." It's honest and raw. He'd watched you sit at this table, trying to work everything out in your brain, and had just been endlessly supportive.

"Of course. I'm here if you need anything, alright? Now, just relax and let's go play some games, yeah?"

"Okay.. let's go!" You smiled and tugged at his hand, leading him over to where Sapnap and Dream were playing.

There was no way you were letting your own feelings ruin the fun of good food and some arcade games. You'd deal with that later.

—

Bad's advice and pep talks are top tier, but sometimes he oversteps. He doesn't mean any harm, but at times it is just too much. This is one of those times.

There's just a few days left before the big convention, and honestly the time spent together so far has been an absolute bliss. And well-spent considering you've all been out and about more often.

You find yourself in the living room with all of them, joking around and making up stupid songs while Quackity plays a beat he claimed to have made himself on his phone. It's peaceful, and no joke is taken too far. Until Bad starts trying to be the 'best wingman', as he likes to claim.

"Quackity, you should write a song for them, and perform it here in front of everyone." He says as he nudges you suggestively, a knowing smile on his face. It's so sudden and you need to make sure you heard correctly. You can feel yourself tense up at the thought of Quackity making a song dedicated to you. Specifically you. No one else.

Of course, it comes off as a joke, but since Bad knows you like Quackity it just seems way more personal. It seems like he's making it so obvious, but maybe everyone else is painfully oblivious. Clueless.

"Wow Bad. You just want him to roast the shit out of me, don't you? That's messed up." You make a noise of disappointment, trying your best to sound calm and collected.

George laughs at that, "Wowww Bad, that's pretty messed up. But you should, Quackity. Make one about Y/N and their muffins. It'll be funny." George didn't know a thing, but it felt like he was making it worse. As if there was a specific reason why they teased him into making a song about you.

With the playful cheering of everyone around him, he cleared his throat and a new beat started to play on his phone. Before you knew it, he was singing about your fictional muffins and how he would order a dozen, and found a way to include Rat slander in there as well.

Maybe you were stressing out for no reason at all. Perhaps you were the only one taking it weirdly and everyone else was just joking around making stupid songs up on the spot. You took a deep breath, and began to relax.

As the night continued, you tried to avoid any possible spotlight, focusing on getting George and Sapnap to go at each other, and the others egging them on so all you really had to do was watch the chaos ensue. It would all just lead to Sapnap calling the rest of them out and starting more playful fights.

As arguments kept coming up, the one you'd all been talking about on that one stream came to mind.

"Wait.. we still haven't done that height check between Quackity and Sapnap." Karl said with a shocked laugh. "How many days have we been together exactly?"

"Too long." Dream chimed in, eager to see the short people fighting over height they didn't have. At least not compared to him.

"Oh yeah huh." Sapnap said in realization. "Stand the fuck up right now, Quackity." He stood to his full height, puffing up his chest to try and appear taller or bigger.

Quackity rolled his eyes, "You guys only brought that up because I was clearly beating you guys in that argument."

"Okay? Stand up then."

If you were a person passing by hearing this conversation, you'd think a brawl was about to break out. Maybe you'd call security. But having context, it really was just Sapnap in his arguing mood, petty and trying to prove a point. There was no way he was sitting down until he proved he was taller than Quackity.

A small grumble of disapproval left Quackity's mouth before he stood to full height. Bad walked over and lead Quackity towards Sapnap, telling them to stand back to back so everyone could see the height difference.

You sat there in anticipation as Bad got them set up, watched as they compared heights very carefully, watched as the results were announced, and watched as Sapnap cheered and screamed some shit in Quackity's face when it turned out he was a few inches taller than Alex.

To make things funnier, Dream walked over in amusement and checked their height difference himself, making the other two look so much smaller than they already did. It was always a pleasant shock seeing just how tall Dream was compared to the average person.

This lead to height checks between all of them, trying to figure out who was the tallest (easy) and who was the shortest.

After everyone had gotten tired from the playful arguments and day they had, they began leaving to their rooms to freshen up or get comfy, probably needing a break from the banter.

Dream, George, and Karl had agreed to go pick up something to eat while the rest of you guys stayed in the living room. Just chatting now, relaxing, no height wars or petty arguments. Kinda.

"By the way, I found this one cool shop with a bunch of anime stuff. You're coming with me to check it out, right?" Sapnap asks, breaking the peaceful silence that surrounded you all while scrolling on your phones.

You looked up in confusion, not sure who he was talking to. His eyes met yours, and he gave you a look that said he was waiting for your response. "You wanna go with me?" You ask, a bit shocked since you'd expect him to go with Karl or something.

"Duh. We could look through the whole shop and see what we can find. Maybe go eat afterwards." He explains with a smile. He seems excited, and his energy is just so contagious, you can't help but smile as well.

"Well, since we're all here I'm assuming we're invited as well. Right, Sapnap?"

It's Quackity, inserting himself into the conversation, eyebrows raised and lawyer voice on, ready to fight Sapnap on this. This earns him a scoff from Sapnap.

"Don't think you'll wanna come with us. I know it's not really your thing."

"Sapnap, I'm sure he can join. Don't you see he's pouting? Plus, I'm sure food will cheer the baby up." You tease, watching as Quackity's facial expression changes into a scowl.

"Yeah right. Plus, it's rude to ask them out in front of Bad and I. We're literally their plus twos."

Bad snorts. "Plus twos? He's definitely not letting us tag along now."

Sapnap nods. "You literally have so many other days you can spend with them. Let me have my moment. Ask them out yourself if you want later."

You stiffen at the implication he's making, unable to stop the confused frown that appears on your face.

"Whatever." Quackity mumbles, before quickly switching the conversation to his beanie and what he should do to stop fans from snatching it off his head.

The topic of conversation is interesting, and quite frankly very funny, but you can't help but focus on Sapnap's comment.

Surely, he meant no harm. But you can't help the feeling that your little secret you'd shared with Bad was growing more noticeable. And if Sapnap knew? How long would it take for Quackity to realize and push you away?

"Y/N?"

You blink away your state of confusion as you refocus on the conversation. "Huh?"

"I said, how does superglue sound? For his beanie and stuff." Bad had been calling out to you, trying to reinvite you into the conversation. Apparently, you'd been quiet for a while.

"You're such an asshole, Bad. You just want to see me bald so bad." Quackity huffed.

"Not true! Also language."

Bittersweet. Your own thoughts were ruining the fun conversation your friends were having. How to answer this without seeming too obvious? Not like a pining idiot?

"I mean, so what if your hair falls out? The beanie will cover it. It's worth it."

"Plus," adds Sapnap, "your fans have been saying you're bald anyway. Prove them right."

"You're all no help to me and my problems." Quackity finally mutters, earning a laugh from the three of you.

His problems. You wouldn't wanna add another by making him have to deal with a friend trying to get out of the friend zone. You really need to get your feelings in check.

Honestly, you need to get better at hiding this shit. You can't just keep going quiet or getting lost in thought whenever someone suggests anything NOT platonic between you and Alex. I mean, it's ridiculous at this point. Bad is giving you stares, Sapnap might know by now, George might know. Hell, maybe even Quackity knows.

Too much. As soon as the others get back, you excuse yourself and call it a day.

—

Sapnap had been serious about going to that Japanese shop. He'd woken you up early, made you get dressed, and was dragging you out the house before the others could bat an eyelid.

Honestly? You'd had a lot of fun. Watching him look through all the items, picking out everything he wanted, getting matching plushies and these tiny figurines that ended up being too fucking expensive for their size. He'd been so happy, you even offered to pay for his meal in exchange for what he'd bought you earlier.

Throughout your adventures with Sapnap, you received a few notifications from Quackity, asking what you guys were up to, when you'd be back, and whether Sapnap was forcing you to stay over there with him. Sapnap and you rolled your eyes at that last bit, sending him a picture of you two flipping off the camera. All jokes, of course, and in return you received a picture of Quackity doing the same. Then he began claiming that you guys could stay there all day for all he cared.

"Seems like someone is jealous." Sapnap had said after reading Quackity's messages. You looked over at him in surprise before he quickly pocketed your phone, dragging you along to a new section of the store he'd wanted to check out.

Did Sapnap really think so? Could there be a chance Alex actually liked you, like Bad had suggested?

Beside your overthinking, the day had been well-spent, and by the time you got home, you were ready to get out of your outside clothes and into your PJs.

As you finally walked out into the living room, you watched with an amused smile as Sapnap sat with the rest of them, showing them everything he had bought at the shop, including little gifts he'd brought for them all.

No matter how 'careless', he came across, Sapnap was truly a softie. It was endearing watching him hand out the gifts you two had bought at the shop.

You made your way over to the couch, sitting beside Quackity and giving him a smile as he raised his brow. "Don't think I forgot that picture you sent me earlier today."

"You know I didn't mean it." You mumbled as you returned your gaze to Sapnap and his cheerful smile.

"You owe me an apology. And you need to make it up to me."

You scoffed at that, "You flipped me off too."

"And? You did it first. I'm the injured party here."

"Fine." You sighed, turning you gaze back at him. "How can I make it up to you?"

"Mmm.. how about we 'sleep call' again?" You froze at his suggestion, looking over at the others to see if they were listening in on your conversation.

They weren't, all too entranced with the small rant Bad was going on about a certain manga Sapnap had bought.

How could this man just admit that you two slept together with his whole chest. Without a care in the world for who was listening.

"Is that really all you want?" Stunned was the only word to truly describe how you were feeling at the moment.

"I mean, for now. I'll have to see tomorrow if I feel any better."

You rolled your eyes at that. He would most likely take advantage of that and drag it on for as long as he could. "Did you really miss me that much, Alex? Need to make up for the time lost today?"

"Wow. You're trying to make me look desperate now?"

"I just think that's how an outsider listening in on our conversation would interpret it."

"Y'know what? Let's go right now. Since you wanna call me desperate."

Again. Stunned. How was this man acting like it was nothing? This shit wasn't normal. Last time wasn't too bad because you didn't know, but now? You'd be too focused on not making it seem romantic, just purely platonic laying on the same bed together with your friend who you don't have feelings for.

It didn't take long for everyone to start heading to their rooms. He excused himself, and you followed a few minutes after, heading to your room in a daze.

As you waited for him to come to your room, you couldn't help but wonder if it'd be the same as last time. Would you be able to play with his hair or cuddle close in a strictly platonic way? Maybe you could call him bro a few times so it didn't seem like you liked him.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the door opening and revealing him in all his glory. He looked so comfy, and the beanie was once again nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps you were overreacting, but you felt this was his way of letting you know he trusted you. That he was truly comfortable around you.

This time, he felt more at ease entering your personal space. He got into bed and got comfy on his own. It didn't take long before he was facing you again, just like last time.

You smiled at him and did the same as him, your previous plans of putting distance and calling him bro getting thrown out the window at this new sight of him.

He looked so cute, just laying there and looking at you. He looked so warm too, you couldn't wait until you actually got to pull him close and blame it on your sleepy state.

"So," he started, "how was your date with Sapnap?"

Huh? The tone really caught you off guard.

"It wasn't a date. We just went to look at some manga he wanted, and got little gifts for everyone. Went to eat."

"Sounds like a date."

You narrowed your eyes at him. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Well, it wasn't. Why does it matter to you though?"

"It doesn't."

"Then?? You jealous or something?" You raised a brow, genuinely confused, but also wanting to see his reaction to the last bit. Maybe it'd give you some insight on his feelings for you. If there was any.

"I'm just making sure! Sue me for trying to respect anything that could possibly be going on between you two." He paused. "I wouldn't want to be asking you to sleep with me and then it turns out you and Sapnap are a thing."

You paused and simply stared at him. Was this dude serious? He was worried about you and Sapnap dating, when in reality you liked HIM? Sick and twisted.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that. Sapnap and I aren't a thing. I like someone else." You answered, and honestly you don't know why you said that.

He paused for a bit, expression unreadable before simply nodding. "And is it possible to know who this someone is??"

How did you end up in this position? It wasn't that long ago that you were confessing to Bad about your feelings for Alex while surrounded by fucking arcade games. And now you were in bed with him while he asked who your crush was. Leave it to you to mess up this badly.

You took a few more moments to just lay there with him, hand eventually going to his hair and gently playing with it. "I don't want to ruin anything." You finally responded.

It was the truth. You could just tell him, but you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if your revelation lead to him growing distant, or him rejecting you and ruining the rest of the trip.

At that, he sat up, making your hand slip out from where it had been playing with his hair. "Are you afraid you'll hurt my feelings?"

You sat up as well, staring at him for a bit before shaking your head. "I'm afraid you'll hurt mine."

"I wouldn't dare." He said reassuringly, hand reaching out to intertwine with yours.

It might've been the adrenaline rushing through your body, or the pessimist in you just telling you to get over with it, but you sat there and confessed that you liked him.

At first, there wasn't much of a response beside his wide eyes and stunned smile. You didn't necessarily know what that meant. Was he on the verge of laughter or was he shocked because he liked you as well?

The silence was killing you, and you swear you could feel tears threatening to spill as he continued to just stare. Nothing could've possibly been worst than his silence at that moment.

"You really do like me? Me, Alex Quackity?" Were his first words, and you watched as he shook his head, as if he was trying to make sense of it all.

"I don't expect you to feel the same or-"

"No no. You like me?"

He was trying to get you to repeat it, or admit it again, but it was torture.

"... I do."

He smiled at that, coming closer and using his free hand to cup your cheek. "Yeah? Well, it's your lucky day because.. I like you too."

You really couldn't believe what you were hearing. Bad had been right about him liking you as well. If he found out, he'd brag about being right and being the 'best wingman' for so long.

"Seriously?" It never hurt to double check.

"Yeah."

And with that, the distance between you two was closed. Soft lips pressed against each other awkwardly at first, not used to kissing your best friend, but it soon melted into a sweet first kiss.

After he pulled away, you gently cupped his cheeks as well, smiling at just how unbelievable this was. The guy you'd been unknowingly pining for this whole time actually liked you back, and you'd just kissed him on your bed. Bonus: he was staying the whole night for some cuddles.

You laid back down, pulling him with you and simply wrapped your arms around him, leaving small and shy kisses on his cheek, not used to this at all, testing what was okay and what wasn't. But his smile and kisses he was giving you as well told you he was more than fine with this.

"Does this make up for it?" You mumble against his own lips, teasing tone evident.

"Yes, yes it does."

—

The next morning was when the countdown finally came to an end. The day you'd all been waiting for; The Convention.

You knew this meant getting up, eating breakfast, and starting to get ready. It was a big day.

But when Quackity wanted to lay down for just a bit longer, how could you possibly say no?

This lead to you both having to walk out of your room and head straight to the kitchen 15 minutes later. There was no time to waste by pretending to have come out of your own rooms and at different times.

As you both approached the dinner table and sat down, you realized the table was dead silent, all eyes on both of you.

You looked up, making eye contact with Bad. He had this knowing grin on his face, and you couldn't help it as you felt the heat rushing up to your face. Quackity seemed unfazed by it all, simply yawning and beginning to eat his breakfast.

"So did it work or what?" Sapnap broke the silence, an expectant look on his face as he stared between you and Quackity.

"What are you talking about?" You asked, now feeling very confused.

Bad couldn't hold in his laughter any longer, and burst out into happy giggles.

"Well we were trying to make Alex get jealous so he could finally make a move. Did he do it?" Sapnap asked. Karl was smiling wide, trying to cover it with the sleeve of his sweater.

Did this mean that Karl, Sapnap, and Bad all knew you two liked each other? Had these three plotted this shit? Getting you two to realize your own feelings?

"What? You did that shit on purpose?" It was Quackity's turn to be dumbfounded.

"Duh. We figured we'd give you guys a little push in the right direction." Sapnap had a satisfied smile on his face.

You couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Your friends had worked together to make you both come to terms with your feelings. Since you two were so oblivious. Wow.

"I hate to say it since it means you actually helped,,, but it did work. We talked last night and well.. we both confessed." There was a soft smile on his lips as he told the others about what had happened.

Bad let out a small cheer, clapping his hands excitedly before congratulating you both on talking out your feelings.

"Okay now that the lovebirds are finally together, let's finish breakfast and start getting ready. Remember today is a big day!" Dream said, sounding quite excited himself.

You'd honestly forgotten for a few minutes because of the whiplash of your friends confessing they were playing cupid.

Today was the convention. The whole reason you'd all traveled out here. This whole trip had been lovely, leading up to the final event.

And you'd be leaving with a date, and good memories spent with fans and friends.

<3

[arhvste]

❝bokuto, atsumu, suna and aran introducing their s/o in an interview❞

bokuto koutarō

→ E X C I T E D

→ why wouldn’t he be though?

→ he gets to finally introduce his wonderful s/o to the world

→ when his pr team gave him the green light, he didn’t hesitate

→ “ah bokuto! great playing today, might we ask who this is beside you?”

→ “this is y/n! aren’t they good-looking?! i’ve found myself a keeper huh?”

→ rambles on and on about you

→ no off switch

→ “so uh bokuto, do you mind talking to us about your opinion on your game performance today?”

→ “yeah lemme just finish telling you about this time y/n and i went on extreme fishing abroad! 🤩”

→ reporters are kinda like 😀 while he talks about you

→ fans are o b s e s s e d

→ #bokuy/n #stany/n #couplegoals are trending

→ twitter LOVE y’all

→ they love that bokuto doesn’t give af about what the reporters are saying 💀

→ he only seems to want to talk about you right now

→ it’s not like he’s purposely doing it though

→ he’s been wanting to talk about you for so long he’s just excited he’s finally allowed to

→ when you guys meet fans after the interview bokuto stops to chat to every single one

→ they love yourself and bokuto’s dynamic and laugh and joke with the two of you

→ a TON of group fan photos

→ bokuto fans are now y/n fans too

→ they literally decide you and bokuto will be married some day so they might aswell stan now

→ they’re gonna be looking out for you in future appearances with him

→ and you can bet yer ass that bokuto is gonna bring you along and show you off every chance he gets

→ fans are well fed by bokuto and it’s a fact

miya atsumu

→ literally almost fought with his pr team when they told him to wait a bit before introducing you to the public

→ “miya, your fangirls will most likely react badly if you introduce them right now.”

→ “yeah and? let em 🙄”

→ atsumu IGNORES his pr team and does it anyway cause he thinks it’s stupid about worrying what his fans will think

→ it’s not their decision who he dates 😡

→ anyways, he brings you on a talk show interview

→ “good evening miya-san, and whos this youve brought along with you?”

→ “this is y/n, aint they gorgeous?”

→ he is SHAMELESS about flirting with you on air

→ “yer so stunning tonight ya know? just wait till we get home 😏”

→ “m-miya-san! i think we should edit that out...”

→ fans have mixed reactions tbh

→ ya can’t please everyone ig

→ atsumu couldn’t give two shits though 😹

→ this man LIKES AND RETWEETS fans that are bashing other ones for not stanning them as a couple 💀

→ his pr team won’t stop ringing his phone to stop

→ doesn’t care at all, he’s always been transparent with how he likes his fans to behave why would this be any different?

→ in the end, more people start to stan after they see how seriously he’s taking this

→ since he genuinely seems to care and love you, they suppose they can stan y’all as a couple 😐

→ i’m sorry you guys aren’t trending the same way bokuto and his s/o were though 😹

→ give it a month though and a few magazine covers together and you have everyone wrapped round your finger and his fans start to like you more 🤪

→ more than atsumu in fact

→ because you’re so nice to his fans they just kinda convert 💀

→ atsumu doesn’t really mind tbh he’s just glad that you’ve been accepted and he doesn’t have to worry about people stepping too much out of line

suna rintarō

→ another one who doesn’t really care

→ he doesn’t exactly go out of his way to hide you but you guys aren’t big on pda either

→ suna leaves his fans GUESSING and doesn’t even know it

→ his fans literally s c a v e n g e for any little detail or anything about you because you and suna rarely go out and make a big scene

→ y’all are probably just grabbing lunch and his fans have several conspiracies over who you are what what the two of you are doing

→ it’s a whole big thing on his side of the twitter stans

→ suna doesn’t know about this because he’s not even on his own side of twitter 💀

→ suna’s timeline is a ton of stuff to do with gaming because i know this man streams with kenma sometimes

→ y’all can’t tell me that these two wouldn’t stream together and have an elite friendship after the timeskip 😡

→ and somehow suna made it onto barb stan twitter

→ no clue how he got there but he’s not mad about it because he thinks they’re funny af and is now a secret barb himself

→ anyways, eventually the two of you are caught on the street by an interviewer

→ and suna’s just there answering their questions like this 😐

→ he just wants to go grab some milk from the store with you can the reporters just gO away 😡

→ attention is then turned to you after the irrelevant small talk the interviewer had with suna

→ “oh ahahah just wondering... who’s this with you we’ve all been dying for an answer!”

→ “huh? you have? why? it’s just y/n my s/o it’s not that deep bro 🥱”

→ he doesn’t make a fuss about it and neither do you because like suna said it’s not that deep

→ the interviewer is just like 👁👁 and then thanks you and leaves

→ well that was easy wasn’t it?

→ that answers their months worth of questioning ig

→ you and suna later discover about the ongoing theories as to who you are and what you are to suna

→ from then on, the two of you MESS with his fans and constantly leave them guessing as to whether you’re together fr or not because y’all think it’s funny how much they care💀

aran ojiro

→ his pr team don’t even tell him to keep you from the public

→ this man is going to introduce you respectfully and properly and they know this

→ one of the few pro athletes who don’t need to have their social life kept on a leash because he goes the right way about it 😎

→ he brings you along to a magazine interviewing when you tell him that you’re comfortable with going public

→ oh btw, absolutely NO pressure from him to go public everything’s done in your own time

→ mf KING 😡🤚

→ straight away he’s making sure that this interview is based on your relationship rather than just him

→ “hey everyone, this is y/n my partner! they’re going to be joining me today!”

→ the interviewers LOVE you both

→ absolute dream to work with you guys

→ your dynamic is 🧑🏽‍🍳😙👌

→ every so often there’s a question about a recent games he includes you 😼

→ “so regarding your recent game, how well do you think you performed?”

→ “i think i was okay but definitely not at my best, it comes across differently watching from the sidelines though doesnt it! y/n, how did ya think i played from watching from yer perspective?”

→ see !! this man is including you every chance he gets 😩

→ fans adore you

→ literally deem you their parents 😎

→ just like bokuto, aran is wonderful to his fans

→ talks to every single one of them because he was raised to acknowledge anyone who politely acknowledges him

→ has full on conversations with as many fans as he can with you

→ tells them mf STORIES about the two of you and how you met etc

→ his meet and greet is literally story time with aran and y/n

→ fans are quiet and all stand around the two of you as you both tell little stories and stuff about your relationship

→ again, so many group photos

→ you guys literally become the parents of his fanbase

→ some fans are already planning your wedding for you on twitter 💀

→ aran doesnt mind though

→ cause he might just take a few of their ideas when he marries you for real 😏

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @atsunakaashi @peteunderoos @saturnfarie @toffees-main @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @babyybokutoakaashi

please send an ask to be added / removed from my taglist

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[redwinterroses]

for requests how about: impulse, encountering some or all of the day one crew and getting Very Uneasy because oh shit, the 3rdlife memories are coming back hard

Hey! Sorry this took me SO long to finish. It was a hard one to write because between you asking this (I think?) and now, Impulse had that whole encounter with Bdubs on the path and I was like "Well I don't want to just write that" and then Cleo showed up? And I haven't ever written her before (except for a few lines in another hero, another mindless crime) so I had to go watch a ton of vids and streams and--

okay. Excuses over. Please enjoy this little "Impulse has a bad time but Friends Are Good" drabble. <3

~~~

Sweet Dreams

The Crastle was bigger than he remembered. Had this hallway always been here? This doorway? This arch that led to another hall…which branched and spiraled and led up stairs and down Escherian ramps in a labyrinth of stone walls and a floor dotted with pressure plates?

Impulse found himself running, breath coming in short, panicked gasps as he dashed down the halls, throwing open doors and darting around corners, leaping over the pressure plates—someone was chasing him.

They were coming for him, glowing red eyes and white teeth—fangs—glinting in the shadows. And over all, the ever-louder beat:

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It pounded in his ears, deafening, and he stumbled to cower against a wall, hunching with his arms over his head, trying in vain to drown it out. But no—no, it was even louder now, thumping so close it rattled his teeth, and he looked down to see blood spreading across his shirt and at the center where his heart should be: a golden clock embedded in his chest.

“They gave me a clock, Impulse.”

His head snapped up. Bdubs, eyes blank and red like two burning embers, stared down at him, no expression on his grey face.

“Ride or die?” Cleo’s voice came from behind him, and Impulse spun to see her glaring down the length of a crossbow, her eyes as scarlet and expressionless as Bdubs’. “How about… die.”

She fired the crossbow, the bolt exploding into flames that swarmed toward Impulse’s face—

He shot upright in bed, gasping for air. He swallowed hard, rubbing his chest as he gradually caught his breath. His heart pounded so loudly that for one horrible moment he thought it might really have been replaced with a bloody golden clock.

But no. Around him, the night was cool and dark, the silence of the Boatem village broken only by the faint rattling of a distant skeleton and the lowing of cows.

Just a dream. Just a nightmare.

Just another nightmare.

Impulse slumped back against his pillows, flopping one arm over his eyes and letting out a long, shuddering sigh in the darkness. It had been months since they’d moved on from the 3rd Life server, months of good times and laughter and the excitement of new projects and builds… and yet at night, when the voices of his friends faded away and Impulse was left alone with himself—he found himself back. Time and again, his sleeping mind returned to the Crastle, or to Dogwarts, or to the sandy dunes of the Red Desert. And inevitably, he found himself face to face with nightmare versions of his day-one crew: Bdubs and ZombieCleo, red-eyed and vengeful.

“I never betrayed them,” he muttered to the darkness. “Never.”

So why did he feel guilty?

Well. If he was honest with himself… it wasn’t really guilt. Or it was, but not because of anything he’d done in 3rdLife—no, the guilt he felt was because the primary emotion associated with Bdubs and Cleo in his dreams was fear.

These were his friends! Being afraid of them went against every instinct he had, every good memory and inside joke and shared experience. And that was a different world anyway—different rules, different lives. It didn’t change anything here on Hermitcraft.

And yet…

And yet when he saw that clock on Bdubs’ belt the other day, or when he’d come up out of the mines that first morning in Boatem and Cleo had been standing right there, Impulse hadn’t been able to suppress the rising wave of panic that swept over him. Panic over being caught in his web of lies, panic that he might hurt the only people he trusted, panic that they didn’t trust him—

Enough was enough. He needed to get past this; he couldn’t spend the rest of the season (the rest of his life?) having anxiety attacks whenever he encountered any of the other Crastle crew members. Talking with Bdubs on the trail had helped, but… he hadn’t seen Cleo since the first days of the server.

That needed to change.

Impulse threw off the covers and pushed himself out of bed, padding down the stairs to the main level of his house. Grabbing his communicator from where he’d left it atop the crafting bench, he tapped out two quick messages:

<impulseSV> you whisper to ZombieCleo: hey, can we meet up and chat? Spawn egg, around noon?

He set down the communicator and turned to go to bed, but to his surprise, it buzzed with an immediate reply.

<ZombieCleo> ZombieCleo whispered to you: everything alright?

<impulseSV> you whisper to ZombieCleo: yeah sure, I just |

Impulse stared at the blinking cursor for a moment, then backspaced and started again:

<impulseSV> you whisper to ZombieCleo: not really. but it’s nothing major. just want to chat a few things over with you.

<ZombieCleo> ZombieCleo whispered to you: Impulse it’s 3 in the morning. you wouldn’t be messaging if it wasn’t major. want to talk now?

He blinked. That… wasn’t the response he’d expected. He hesitated, finger hovering over the touch screen.

<impulseSV> you whisper to ZombieCleo: sure.

<ZombieCleo> ZombieCleo whispered to you: i'll come to you.

.

///

.

Impulse was waiting on the roof when Cleo arrived, swooping in with the dry rustle of elytra wings to land on the cobble-and-slabs rooftop.

He looked up at her with an automatic smile, but she didn’t even wait for a “hey” before plopping down beside him.

“Alright, Impulse,” she said, her brisk tone ordering, rather than inviting him to speak. “What’s going on?”

Pulling his knees into his chest, Impulse wrapped his arms around his legs, the cobblestone beneath him still radiating a bit of warmth from the day’s sun.

“I…” he let his voice trail off, not sure where to begin.

“Out with it.” Cleo held out her hand, palm up, as if waiting for him to drop something into it. “Spit it out. It’s not gonna get any better for stewing on it.”

This was a dumb idea. Impulse closed his eyes and, before he could talk himself out of it, let the words spill out in a rush:

“I keep having dreams. Nightmares. About being back… back there. At the Crastle, mainly. And, ah—” he chuckled nervously and opened his eyes, looking sideways at Cleo. “You and Bdubs are there. And you’re… mad. Yeah, you’re really mad. And you don’t trust me. And—" he took a deep breath. “I keep dreaming that you’re so mad you kill me.”

Cleo tilted her head, raising an eyebrow. “But we didn’t. Well,” she corrected herself. “I didn’t.”

“I know, I know—it’s stupid. It doesn’t make sense, and I know that, but…” he swallowed, and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. “I need to get it off my chest. Because even thought I know it’s not real, and I know this is an entirely different world, and I know that nothing from that server really changes anything, I can’t just… turn off what my brain does when I’m not paying attention to it. You guys are my friends and I’m getting real tired of feeling like I need to start running every time I see one of you. To be honest, sitting here right now even is making me antsy.”

Overhead, the stars continued on their paths in silence, and somewhere in the village a couple of sheep baa-ed at each other plaintively.

“Well. That’s… something. That’s certainly something, isn’t it.” Cleo was quiet for a moment, examining him. Impulse looked away, suddenly finding his fingernails deeply interesting.

“Impulse.”

She reached out and laid a hand on his arm, and he instinctively flinched away. Cleo raised both eyebrows at him this time, pulling her hand back—then deliberately replacing it, her fingers cool and firm through the thin fabric of his sleeve. “Impulse,” she repeated, her tone gentle but brooking no argument. “You… you know I’m not good at this stuff. But at the risk of getting in way over my pay-grade: we’re good. We’re your friends.” She gave him a shake. “We love you, you idiot. No amount of murdery games on another server gonna change that.”

Impulse gave a little laugh, pretending neither of them could hear the emotion that made his voice catch in his throat. “Wow, Cleo,” he said. “Love. Big word.”

“Bah.” She shoved him away, throwing her hands in the air. “I love everybody, you’re not special.” But there was a grin in her voice. “And anyway—why me? You’ve got a lotta nerve, Impulse, having nightmares about me killin’ you.”

“Hey, you were scary with that crossbow.”

“I was, wasn’t I.” Cleo sounded satisfied about that.

The knot in Impulse’s chest was slowly loosening, and he glanced over to see Cleo leaning back on her hands, staring up at the sky. The faintest tinge of pinkish-grey was starting to appear on the eastern horizon. The Boatem crew would be up and about soon—Grian in particular had a tendency to be up at an ungodly hour of the morning.

“Hey—” Impulse said, lowering his voice again. “Um. Thanks. For swinging by. Sorry for being weird about all this.”

“Impulse if you start apologizing for being weird you’re never going to stop.” She made a face at him. “Because you’re very weird.”

“Thaaaanks.”

Cleo gave him an easy punch on the shoulder. “You know you adore me,” she said. “And if it makes you feel any better, I can promise you this: I will kill you again at some point, I’m sure. And it’ll have nothing at all, whatsoever, to do with Third Life: it’ll be because you deserve it.” She paused. “Or because I just want to.”

Somehow, out of all the things she could have said, a casual threat of violence was the thing that did the trick. Impulse laughed—out loud, for real, a genuine laugh that shook loose the tension in his shoulders and chased away the phantom of Cleo standing over him with a crossbow.

“Thanks, Cleo.”

Cleo stood, and patted him on the head, ruffling up his hair. “There’s the obnoxiously-cheerful Impulse I know and loath,” she teased. “Can’t have you being all maudlin over here—I’m the gloomy one on this server.”

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” Impulse asked, smoothing down his hair and also standing.

She waved a hand dismissively. “Nah. You know me—I don’t do the sleeping thing much. Too much work to do: graves to dig, bodies to—” she grinned darkly “—find. ‘S a lot for an entrepreneuring zombie like myself.”

“Well, I guess I’ll let you get back to it.” Impulse tried to stifle a yawn. He wasn’t entirely successful.

“Go to bed, Impulse,” Cleo laughed, activating her elytra. “And try to only have normal nightmares about me for a while. Ya know—ones where I’m properly zombie-terrifying, not this Crastle nonsense.”

“I’ll do my best.” He watched her fly off, and yawned again, this time wide enough to pop his jaw.

Alright. Let’s try this one more time. Sleep.

He left the roof and reentered his house, which suddenly felt much more cozy and far less empty and cold than it had when he’d first awakened. Sliding back under his blankets, he tugged them up around his ears and closed his eyes with a sigh.

Something exploded outside, and his eyes popped back open.

Maniacal laughter echoed over the hills of Boatem, and Impulse deliberately rolled over, burying his head under the pillow.

Tomorrow’s insanity would come soon enough. For now: sleep.

((sweet dreams, Impulse.))

[uncreative-little-shit]

Three ‘I love you’s’ 

A/n: Some Kuroo fluff because I am in love with him (this is longer than it was supposed to be but like I’m not mad)

Genre: fluff (and a tiny bit of angst)

The first time Kuroo said the three infamous words, he didn’t exactly say them. It was late at night, and you were sitting next to him on his couch, laughing at a joke he just told. It was 2am, and you were probably delirious, but when he looked at the huge smile on your face, and he heard the goofy laughter coming out of your mouth, he had one thought. ‘I love you’ he thought to himself in the dimly lit room you two were sitting in. That was the moment he first realized he did, indeed, love you. And instead of what some stories say, the revelation was not like a fright train, nor like a ton of bricks hitting him, but rather like the tranquility of rain pounding on the roof, the sense of security you feel from the warmth blankets provide, protecting you from the cold of the outside. The first time Kuroo said ‘I love you’ he realized you were home to him, and he never wanted to let you go.

The second time Kuroo said those three words that held so much weight, you weren’t awake to hear them.  You had come over to his place to study, but after a while you two lost interest and instead decided to watch crappy movies in his bedroom. You made a bag of popcorn and he got everything ready, and you two spent the night messing around and watching poorly directed films. At some point surfing your impromptu movie marathon, you had fallen asleep, and your head fell onto Kuroo’s shoulder. Smiling softly, he paused the movie and made sure you were comfortable, before getting comfortable himself. As he looked at your face under the soft stream of moonlight coming from his window, he whispered a small ‘I love you’ before he fell asleep. Love may have scared him at times, but loving you felt so easy and so natural. The second time Kuroo said ‘‘I love you’ the silence of the room was deafening, but he felt security in the fact that you didn’t hear him, for fear he would ruin everything between the two of you.

The third time Kuroo said the three words that he held himself back from saying so many times, he didn’t know what overtook him, but he said it right to your face, blurting it out in a spur of the moment decision. It was high school graduation, and as third years you were both saying your goodbyes. After everything, you were both walking to his house to have a mini celebration (and deciding tomorrow that you would celebrate with all your friends as well). You were talking idly, and Kuroo was admiring how your features looked in the light of the sunset.

As you two arrived at the house and put your bags down, you continued with your chatter all the way up to his bedroom, where you sat on his bed together. Kuroo watched how your face lit up, how your hands moved animatedly as you told him about some show you were watching, and he felt like he could stay like this forever. “I love you” he said, cutting you off in the middle of your sentence. You both stared at each other, wide eyed, until Kuroo panicked saying,“wait no I didn’t mean-” but this time he was the one cut off as you kissed him. Your lips felt slightly chapped, soft, and burning against his, and although it only lasted for a few seconds it felt like years before you pulled away. Giggling at the flustered look on his face, you simply said “I love you too Testu” and then he pulled you into another kiss. God he loved you so much, and he was never going to let you go

[reidingandwriting]

"Deja Vu"

Word Count: ~2300 words

Ship: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader (ex/platonic?), Peter Parker x Michelle Jones

Warnings: A curse word or two, slightly OOC moments but it is fan-fiction so :)

A/N: I'm in love with this song and had to write this. Popped this baby out in 3 hours, and I'm pretty happy with it. Side note: I created my own timeline for this lmao. Morgan exists, but they don't live in the cabin. Reader is mentioned to be fem once or twice, but reads neutral besides that! Reader is Tony's kid but it could be read as adopted/his bio kid.

“One strawberry ice cream, just for you.” Peter said as he set the cup down in front of MJ, a single spoon dipped in the light pink dessert. MJ immediately started to eat as Peter took a seat beside her, and you and Ned were seated across from the couple at a local ice cream shop you had discovered. The one where you had taken him, where you had convinced him to try the strawberry ice cream instead of the vanilla he always got. You scooped a spoonful of your rocky road ice cream a little too aggressively, unable to eat your favorite ice cream flavor anymore.

“Thanks, Parker, it’s really good.” MJ said and Peter nudged her shoulder.

“Mind if I steal a bite?’

“Of course I mind.” MJ deadpanned and Peter blanched before MJ smirked at him. “Go ahead, loser. Just one.” MJ gave him a look and Peter saluted.

“Scout’s honor.” Peter took MJ’s spoon before he took a bite, and you barely held back the scowl as you looked over at Ned. He gave you a sympathetic smile and tapped his foot against yours under the safety of the booth. You brushed your shoulder against Ned’s while Peter and MJ were too entranced by each other to notice.

“If you get any ice cream on my jacket, I’m burning yours.” MJ’s words were menacing, but you all knew she was (mostly) kidding. Peter scoffed and held his hand against his chest in mock offense, the sleeves of MJ’s jean jacket comedically too short on Peter’s arms. MJ was dressed in Peter’s Midtown hoodie, the same one you had worn just a few months ago.

You thought it would have been funny to switch jackets, knowing your jacket would look funny on him, while you wore Peter’s oversized hoodie. And now here was MJ, wearing the same sweatshirt, while Peter wore her jacket. Have any original ideas, Parker?

“Earth to Y/N.” MJ waved her hand in your face, and you snapped back to the present. “You okay? You zoned out there for a minute.”

“Yeah, sorry. Morgan decided she wanted a sleepover last night, so we just had to build a pillow fort in my room, and that felt fantastic on my back. Almost as great as her practically laying on top of me all night.” You chuckled. “And you know I couldn’t move her, she’s got me wrapped around her finger.”

“And she knows it.” Peter said and you smiled over at him.

“Speaking of Morgan. She’s been asking me all week about if you want to come over sometime this weekend. She’s in a big Lion King phase, and she wants ‘her Petey’ to come have a pajama party with her and have a sing-along. She’s Nala, of course.” Ned snorted and Peter’s face fell.

“I can’t this weekend. MJ and I are having a Glee watch party this weekend, can you believe she’s never seen Glee?” Peter asked and you felt a pang of jealousy in your stomach.

“Oh, really?” You asked. Much like you hadn’t seen it either, until six months ago. “It’s pretty iconic, but also the worst show ever. Singing along is pretty fun, just being annoying. Really fun.” You thought back to when you and Peter were in your room, doing the same thing.

“Don’t stop believing!” Peter stood on your bed, using the remote as a microphone to serenade you. Peter looked at you expectantly, and you rolled your eyes before singing the next line, just as enthusiastically as he did.

“Hold on to the feeling!” Peter cheered and you couldn’t help but laugh at him. “You’re so annoying, Parker.”

“As annoying as this show?”

“Almost.”

“Then I’m not quite done yet.”

“Raincheck next weekend, maybe?” Peter asked and you shrugged.

“I’ll have to check with Madame Secretary. She’ll likely be over The Lion King by next weekend, it’ll be ‘baby stuff.’” Your phone buzzed and you excused yourself before checking the text.

Iron Dad: Hey, kid. Are you busy?

You: A little. Why?

Iron Dad: Pep and I have an emergency meeting for work, and Happy’s sick so he can’t watch Maguna

You: I’m on my way. Give me five to say goodbye

Iron Dad: Thanks, Y/N/N. We owe you one

You: You owe me several. Love you

Iron Dad: Love you tons

“I’m sorry, guys, duty calls.” You smiled, albeit a little sadly, at your friends. “I’ll see you Monday at school?”

“We better. We have a project in chemistry due on Monday.” Ned said and you flipped him off.

“Science is my best class, you know I’ve had the project done and Dr. Banner approved since the project was announced in class.” You winked at Ned before waving at MJ and Peter. “See you later, lovebirds.” You internally cringed when ‘lovebirds’ came out more bitter than you intended. With goodbyes exchanged, you left the ice cream parlor, and you bit back the tears you felt beginning to build up. Did he feel it, too? Did he remember that you did that, too? Was he ever going to tell her all the ‘unique’ things Peter’s done were reused, that you had found them first? You wiped at your eyes before you hailed a taxi, and you shoved all your feelings down to be at your best for your little sister.

--

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N!” Morgan barreled down the hall when you stepped out of the elevator, and you barely bent down to catch her in time as she collided with you.

“Morgan, Morgan, Morgan!” You scooped your sister up into your arms and peppered her face with kisses until she was laughing, and your mood immediately lifted at the sound. “Where’s Mom and Dad?”

“Mom’s at work, Dad’s in his room. He’s leaving us.” Morgan pouted and you copied her expression.

“Oh, no. You’re stuck with me tonight. Too bad I’m not tall enough to reach the juice pops in the freezer.��� You gasped. “Oh, wait. I am!” Morgan thrusted her fist into the air with a cheer, and you set her down. “I need to go talk to Dad real quick, then we can do almost whatever you want.” You emphasized the almost, knowing she’d ask for something you definitely shouldn’t do, then argue that you said ‘anything.’ You definitely saw a career in law for her when she got older.

“Kay-kay. I’ll go get coloring books, then we get juice pops?”

“Deal.” You offered your pinky out, and she linked pinkies with yours before she ran off to her room. You shook your head fondly before you walked off to your dad’s room, and you knocked on his door before coming in. “Dad?”

“Hey, kiddo. Come on in, I’m just packing a few things for Pep.” You walked over to the bag your dad had packed, and you began to inspect everything. “Have I been approved?”

“I think I need a hug before giving approval.” You opened your arms and your dad happily pulled you into his chest, and he held you close, as if he could sense your feelings.

“Are you okay? Do I need to stay?” Tony rubbed your back and rocked you gently, and you buried your face deeper into his chest, your eyes watering and you gripped his shirt tighter, a habit you developed when Tony first took you in- you always grabbed onto him like he was your security blanket, and Tony quickly learned there was no use in getting you to let go until you were ready.

“No, I’m okay.” Your voice was muffled but you made no effort to move yet. “Mom needs you.” You paused. “You’ll be back soon, right?”

“Luckily we’re just headed to the New York headquarters. I hope we’re home by midnight, but I’ll tell you when we find out for sure.” You nodded and let go of your dad, and he brought his hand up to cup your cheek, and he wiped your tears away with his thumb and the action almost made you cry again. “Ben and Jerry’s and sad movies when I get back, or should I get a few punching bags set up in the gym?”

“Ben and Jerry’s.” Tony nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, and you patted his arm, telling him he could continue packing. “ Don’t forget Mom’s favorite lipstick. She always keeps one on her, but you can never be too safe.”

“Lifesaver.” Tony said before he went back to packing.

“I should go check on Morgan, let you finish getting packed.” You said and Tony smiled at you, a softness in his eyes reserved solely for you, Morgan, and Pepper.

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best big sister?”

“I do my best.” You smile back before leaving. Fingers crossed she hadn’t made a mess already.

--

You laid in bed, scrolling through your camera roll with tears streaming down your cheeks. You pressed play on a video and let out a choked sob as you watched. You and Peter were seated at the piano in the living room, and your fingers moved gracefully across the keys, playing one of your favorite songs that Peter had begged you to play for him. The familiar sounds of Billy Joel’s ‘Uptown Girl’ filled your ears, and you sang along as you played. You turned to Peter, nodded at him, and he began to play the same song after you. You hugged him at the end of the song, grinning since he had finally learned it, and you began to play it again, Peter joining you in singing along. Not even that was reserved for you and him anymore, as you had learned recently.

“I didn’t know you played.” You said as MJ took a seat at the piano, Peter seated beside her.

“Oh, I just learned. Peter taught me the one song he knows how to play.” Your heart sank and now Ned was curious.

“What song?” Don’t say it, don’t say it.

“Uptown Girl.” MJ began to play, and you felt your lip begin to tremble. Your song. The one you had taught him. You looked away as Peter quickly pressed a kiss to her cheek after the first chorus, and he whispered something into her ear. You turned to Ned and dove deep into a conversation, refusing to cry in front of them.

You jumped when you heard a knock on your window, and you grabbed the baseball bat you kept by your bed. You would have called for Bucky or Sam, but the pair were off on their own mission. You got out of bed, wiping away your tears, and you walked to the window, bat at the ready. “FRIDAY, who’s getting knocked to next year with my bat?”

“It appears Peter Parker is the one outside your window.” Peter? Of course it was.

“Lights on dim, FRI.” You set the bat down and opened the window, and Peter popped into view. “Peter? What the hell? You almost gave me a heart attack, dude.”

“I’m sorry, I know, sorry. I didn’t plan on coming out here, but I needed to talk to you.” You gestured for Peter to come in, and you suddenly realized how you had to look to him. You were in a shirt you had stolen from Thor- what? His shirt got mixed up with yours, finders keepers. You were in an old pair of sweatpants that were covered in various stains- paint from Morgan, some grease from Tony’s lab, and a bleach mark from where you and Peter were goofing around in the lab and you spilled some mystery chemical on your pants. And let’s not even talk about your puffy eyes and the tear marks on your cheeks from a night of crying.

“About what?” You sat on your bed, eyes not meeting Peter’s.

“About earlier at the ice cream parlor. You seemed really… spaced out. Not yourself. And I caught you scowling once.”

“I didn’t scowl.” You tried to defend yourself but you sighed, knowing he was right.

“And ever since MJ and I started dating, you’ve just seemed different. You’re not, like, jealous, are you?” And you couldn’t help but laugh. Truly laugh, which caused Peter’s brows to furrow. “What’s so funny?”

“You think I’m jealous! Why should I be jealous?” Peter frowned at how you weren’t taking him seriously, and he was confused.

“You know, we had… a thing. Not that we dated, but I mean, we were really close you know.”

“Oh, I know.” Like a switch, your emotions flipped from sad to frustrated in seconds. “And I’m seeing all these ‘things’ we had all over again.” It was Peter’s turn to start getting irritated, and he crossed his arms.

“Oh, really? Like what?”

“Strawberry ice cream at the parlor, you can’t act like we didn’t do that. Trading jackets, we did that shit too. Teaching her piano when I taught you, how do you not get deja vu?” Peter opened his mouth to talk and you held your hand up. “You’ve got a different girl, but there’s nothing new. I discovered those places you take her, I showed you Glee, I taught you the jokes that you tell to her. When are you gonna tell her? She thinks it’s special, but it’s all reused. I know I get deja vu, don’t you?” You had started to cry again, and Peter started to defend himself until FRIDAY spoke.

“Y/N, your father and mother have returned home. You may want to continue this conversation later.” You looked at Peter who wordlessly nodded. He walked to the window, and he paused before he spoke.

“We’ll talk Monday after patrol. Bye, Y/N/N.” You whispered goodbye before he left and you shut the window before you dropped to your knees, letting out broken sobs.

“I get deja vu when she’s with you…”

[sxnnimoon]

Bambi Ch. 7

:)

taglist: @multistan30 @hobi-love @pshekalus

@purpleyoongles @gabhrrng @v-6893

@kayjah17 @cutiequeen122 @briii-14

@iiamjungkookwife @maddypool31 @spideyxxboi

You were currently at your studio, well old studio. It surprisingly still looked the same. Nothing was touched, although the equipment looked new. You shrugged it off, you were bored and Yuni was with your mom since her fathers had some last minute preparations for their comeback that was happening and you didn’t feel like partying. Walking around the space you looked at all the memories that were left behind. You tried your best to not let the past bother you as much but with the way things were going, the past would be resurfacing more than you liked. Pulling out your laptop you hooked it up and decided to do a live on instagram. As fans started piling in you were just messing around dancing to the music you had playing. Looking at the comments you decided to answer a few.

“Is that LXNA LXB?” you read allowed, smiling soon after. “Yes it is.”

“New music?” was the next question. “I do have a lot for the future.”

You smirked as the comments went wild.

“Request some songs.” you say looking into the camera. “I’ll sing a few.”

You could barely read them as song after song filled the chat. As it slowed a bit you read a couple.

“I can barely read these comments.” you giggle. “I’m just going to give y'all a sneak peek for a song I'm working on.”

You’d regret this as the song held a lot of meaning but you were always open and honest with your fans, you had nothing to hide.

Pulling up the instrumental you got into the zone.

You know you really something,

yeah

How’d we get here so damn fast?

Only you can tell me that

Baby, ‘cause you know i’m coming

back

You stopped for a bit to read a few comments off your phone.

“Be patient my doves,” you smiled before singing again.

I came to peace with my path

Now you got me off track

I’ve never been this scared before

Feelings that I can’t ignore

Don’t know if I should fight or fly

But I don’t mind

Mmmm

Tripping, falling with no safety net

Boy, it must be something that

you said

Is it real this time or is it in my head?

You paused the music.

“That's all you get babes.” you smirked, trying to hide your emotions.

release it now!!

i need more

whyyyyy

she doing this on purpose.

You shook your head laughing, “I promise once I'm done with work here I will release a few things.”

You sang a few songs that they requested and some you wanted to do. You noticed how the comments were going wild again.

“What the hell is going on.” you looked confused. “All i’m seeing is a ton of ‘HALSEY!!’ comments. Is she watching?”

You waved and blew a kiss, “hiii baby, i miss you. Call me after this, will you?”

“Y’all know what song I gotta do then.” you smirked.

Bad vibes, get off of me

Outta here with that fuckery

Treat my goals like property

Collect them like Monopoly

I probably won’t come if there’s

not a fee

And if they try come stoppin’ me

I show them my discography

I like women and men

Work so fuckin’ much, need a

twinny, twin, twin

You were now talking with the fans, answering some more personal questions when a knock was heard on your door. You looked back at the door and then the stream.

“One sec.” you put up a finger.

Opening the door you see Chan & Yuni.

“What happened to my mom having her?” you stare at him confused.

“She got a call from her old friends and asked if i could bring Bean over.” he smiled. “I hope that's ok.”

“No it’s fine, I'm actually live right now, umm did you wanna just join haha.” you smiled back.

“Of course,” he said, setting Bean down.

“We have a few guests before I hop off.” you say bending down to lift Bean, “Say Hi Bean.”

She reaches her hand out grabbing at the air as if to say hi.

“We do have one more,” you smile, kissing Yuni’s head, “you want an intro or what?”

He nods.

You roll your eyes giggling. “Nowww, don’t let his smallness fool you, he’s the biggest baby of all. My best friend and y’alls favorite Chrisopher.”

He comes into view laughing.

“Hi everyone!” he waves.

You three end the live and head out to get some food. You settled for your favorite cafe that served the best ramen and dessert. Ordering your usual and getting a small bowl to give Bean some noodles. It was quiet and it was definitely what you needed. Having slept with yoongs and hobi you really needed someone to talk everything out with.

“So are you going to tell me what the hell you have been doing? Or am I going to have to pry it out of you?” He raised a brow.

You put your head on the table.

“What am I doing Chris?” you say. “I can’t help but be drawn back to them, for god sake I have a child with them.”

You were defeated.

“I’ve been doing so much to distract myself, but sleeping with them really did it for me.” you looked at him.

“I love you and you know where I stand in all this.” he reached for your hand. “But you really gotta talk to them.”

“It would be easy if they weren’t getting their dicks wet as we speak..” you show him your phone.

“This is the game they wanna play Chan and I will not hesitate to play right back.” you say powerfully. “Could you watch Yun a bit more til my mom is back?”

He nods. You thank him, kiss Bean on the forehead and get up to leave.

You drive back to your hotel. Once inside you make a phone call.

“Hello?”

“You free?”

“For you? Always.”

“Perfect, see in like 15?”

“Can’t wait.”

You gathered a few things in a duffel bag before heading out. Looking at yourself over one more time you close the door and leave.

As you pull up to the house, every ounce of anger you had before had left your body. You didn’t need them right? Whatever the case may be, you were ready to get your mind over it. As they opened the door you smirked, taking in their appearance.

“Shall we?” they said.

“Lead the way.” you smiled.

“You look good.” they smirked. “Really good.”

“You look hotter since the last time I saw you.” you licked your lip.

“You staying the night?” he looks down at you.

“Of course.” you bit your lip.

A couple hours and a lot of photos later, you were currently making out on the couch. Hands were everywhere, lips kissing every inch. His hands never leave your ass. You soon are straddling his lap. You are too entranced with one another to notice the constant spamming going on your phones. As he flips you both over, now lying between your legs he peers down at you. His eyes are dark with lust, the bulge pressed against your thigh proving it.

“You sure this is what you want?” he says softly.

“More than you know.” you look up with pleading eyes.

He nods, dipping his head down to capture your lips one more time.

As the night begins your notifications are going crazy. The reason for it being sweeped away as you were far too occupied to pay them any mind. Beating them at their own game was by far the best thing you could have done. You wished to see the look on their faces as they opened up their social media to see you trending on every single platform. They knew you won, but how long would it stay like that? Only time will tell.