#i wasnt on tumblr then so i have to rant about it now ok

[bellsxwriting]

٠ ࣪⭑ KARMA.- Scaramouche x reader

｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ 8.Stalker alert

Quite honestly…you were dreading going to your lesson, twice a week you had world history; It was frankly a stupid lesson anyway, it was only made more painful by the appearance of none other than Kunikuzushi- sorry no, it was scaramouche now since he wanted to be edgy about it. Anyway, a lovely coffee with your best friend should lift spirits, Kaveh did have a habit of making you feel better, when he wasnt ranting about Alhaitham…which he seemed to be doing at this exact moment. 

“Honestly, and then you wont even believe what he said next!”

“Im sure I wont”, you grumbled, opening the door to the cafe. Ah, heaven. The smell of coffee, the light chatter of students and keyboards typing, scaramouche behind the counter- Wait…Scaramouche?? 

“You cannot be serious…” you made eye contact with the boy behind the bar, before he shrugged off your gaze and continued to work, Kaveh had picked up on this interaction before internally panicking

“Now Now Y/N, how about you dont get us banned from here by causing a fight?” He smiled nervously. 

“I wouldnt dream out it” You said behind grited teeth, making your way over to the counter. As you approached, he met your eyes once more, rolling them in annoyance. 

“What do you want” 

“Coffee…Evidently, Its why yaknow…Im in a coffee shop”, Kaveh tried to laugh off the awkward encounter by quickly ordering you two drinks, all while you and Scaramouche were sending eachother telepathic death threats with eye contact alone. He left to go make the drinks and you let out a sigh of relief. 

“You know you could take the high ground and just be nice to him?” He asked, testing the waters. You scoffed, Me? The high ground? Never. Before you had time to reply, you had snatched the drinks that were brought out, slamming your mora down, and strutting away, Kaveh hurriedly following in toe.

“If you want to know what happened love you can’t ignore him”, Kaveh said, sitting down in front of you.

"It's not that simple Kav...I'm still hurt over everything that happened, I don't want to form a friendship with him again or figure out what happened. He could just leave again. And...I feel like it would hurt more" He sipped his coffee in thought. In any case, he was now back, and eventually, you'll have to find out what made him leave all them years ago.

Previous . Next . Masterlist

Summary.- It’s been over 10 years since you last saw Kunikuzushi, back then he had blocked everyone and disappeared without a trace. Now, you’re in your second year of the Akademiya University. But what happens when a certain someone appears from your past, and now, with an entirely new personality?

A/N.- There's gonna be a little more writing in the next few chapters so I hope it's ok. I'm honestly really enjoying creating this! The last chapter did go up but my tumblr made it mature for some reason so check out the masterlist to find it!

Taglist <3

@yumi-genshin-writer@pinkiepiescanonn@kyouzki@royalz658@sagegreenthinks

[limewashedup]

Oh em gee ive FOUND YOU!

ok that sounded creepy.

Im literally… so… obsessed. So obssessed. With your work. I read your gemtho sibling fic… where do i even start??? The writing… so talented? The description was on POINT without being too showy and jacked with unnecessary words. I have an image in my head for what’s happening the whole time, even without the pictures! And… the pictures. Wait wait more about the writing iteslef first.

In conveys their relationship SO SO SOOOO PERFECTLYYYYYY GAHH!!!!!!!!! The little details? I LEGITAMATELY found myself belly laughing at various parts, which i rarely do, and when I wasnt laughing I was smiling and rocking back and forth like a little kid. Some of the little sentances… HOW DO YOU WRITE THEM SO WELL??? I cant even express how I feel about this. The storyline was great, and i LOVE the idea, but an idea is nothing without a good excecution, and this excecution is SPOTLESS.

Okay… the art.

From that first picture, i knew i was in love with your style. Little gem? ADORABLE!!! Now, ive said this on ao3 a while ago, but I mean every word of it still. Ive never “had a crush” on anyone in my LIFE, people are ugly and weird lol. Im basically a hermit irl. But I think I fell in love with Etho MINIMUM three times in your art stlye. Like HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE LOLLLLLL

YOUR STYLE!!! THE LONG HAIR!!!! THAT ONE WITH BEEF HOLDING HIM LIKE A CAT????

That whole scene with Beef was so. Perfect. It conveys everything SO perfectly. GAHH!!!! I can just picture them looking at gem dumbfounded with pizza in their mouths, then etho getting tackled and being so USED to gettign tackled that his only comment is “Hey Gem” I LOVE THAT SO FREAKING MUCH!!!!!

Gem calling him her “emotionally stunted big brother” nearly broke my heart, and when Etho cried I nearly started with him. The first time reading the fic i was in tears of pure joy all the way through. OMG Im SO IN LOVE WITH THIS!!!!

Am I being creepy? Im sorry lol!!! I cant help myself i’ve never felt so strongly about anything in my life (which sounds wild… but i dont show emotions irl very often so trust me its more true than it sounds)

Im going wild. IM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!

Ok. Thanks for listening to this little rant, and believe me this is the shortened version, my poor online friend received the full rant trust me.

Hi! Not creepy at all, that's exactly why I linked my tumblr on my fic, so hello, welcome to my blog! It really makes my day that you loved my fic enough to come here and say it again. Comments like these are the lifeblood of a fic writer <3

I'm still very proud of Oh, brother! and always get excited to see other people enjoying it. I'd love to write more fics centered around Gem and Etho, in this AU or otherwise.

And thank you for your kind words about my art, and my take on Etho. He's very quickly become one of my favorites to draw, and I'm so glad you pointed out the one with Beef holding him like a cat, that's probably my favorite of the bunch for that fic.

Again, totally not creepy at all. I really really appreciate you taking more time to say hello and all the details of your reactions to specific things in the fic/art, it means a LOT and makes me want to write and draw more. Thank you so so much! You're more than welcome to rant here about my work directly if you want to spare your friend, but I'm sure they appreciate your enthusiasm too <3

[lavender-phannie]

I SEE PEOPLE sharing how they got into the dip and pip phandom and I want to participate

I was first and foremost a pinterest girlie. The typical oh my parents won't let me have any form of social media except pinterest oh oh no boy little did they know all the internet shenanigans ends up there it's objectively the best place to "culture" yourself or "acclimatise" for the internet or something

Like, really, it's all content from all the apps compiled for YOU according to the humour YOU like it's amazing

Anyways going off topic .. I have intense FOMO so I obviously started to educate myself on all things internet

One day whilst idly browsing pinterest I happened on pictures of dnp from a tumblr post I don't remember what the post itself was but probably something phan but I didn't know that at the time and I immediately went and checked who they were because I must know and google said they're two British youtubers people ship together and I said okay cool and just left it at that

A month or two later they happened onto my pinterest again and my brain said hey you've had a pretty well curated for you page all things we like so maybe check em out see how it goes probably something we like so I said ok bet and I did and I watched a video of them I think pinof 4 and I was like okay these guys are super random they're funny but I don't get half the things they reference

But then the youtube gods saw my destiny and said this is your fate child and starting recommending it to me all the time

So I gave in and I watched them and they were amazing, healing and wonderful and they really really helped me

Especially like BIG and dans monologue about gender and sexuality really resonated with me cause I didn't really think about this before but I realised I actually agreed with him that gender is baseless but that rant is for another time

And phil, loveliest dearest funniest phil, whenever I was having a hard time he'd been there cheering me up

If you can't tell I joined the phandom in the cursed covid years I was here for the 2022 phivorce which was objectively hilarious

I know this is incredibly long. Longer than necessary but I've typed it all now and words must not be gone to waste so here you are and here we are

Sending best wishes during these trying times (2 weeks since last upload) (they deserve the break) (I'm clawing at the walls of my enclosure)

Anon i am also going insane and clawing at my walls idk how i survived a 5 year hiatus and the insanity of phannies seeing dan's foot in a video and calling it "joint content" (also don't worry about stuff being long i love reading it!!)

Kinda relate with the pinterst thing except for me it was instagram and i followed dnp accounts that posted stuff from other social media i wasnt allowed to have at the time... people underestimate the importance of instagram and pinterest when it comes to getting people into new fandoms hahah (although i was introduced to dnp through friends but you know what i mean right??)

anyway same same about phil being there to cheer me up when im having a rough time... in 2017 i had a huge dip in my mental health and i literally just watched phil's videos every night to get to sleep lol! I wonder if he knows how infectious his positive energy is?

WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THIS RAMBLE!? anyway yeah throwing my jumble of thoughts at u anon sorry

[starkid256]

can i rant about how bad 2023 is for me rq?

ok so in the first couple of months of 2023 i was doing great. new year new me amiright. i was chillin on the crk wiki n shit and i wasnt doing very well in school but what can you do the us education system is flawed and nothing can fix it. i made a contest for people to draw strawberry crepe cuz that was the rage and all. once the deadline hit, i was ready to make the prizes.

i hit the biggest fucking roadblock in my life.

i just got hit with the worst burnout and depression i have ever had in my life. it took 11-12 days to write something with 1k words. this depression is still there. it pains me to even attempt to draw or write or anything. whatever, depression like this is very common. eventually, i moved on from the crk wiki and went to comic studio.

oh. comic studio. where do i begin?

to start off, if you dont already know, comic studio is a website to share comics. shocker i know. i met some friends on here from there. some of my moots i met from cs. and yet, it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. there was drama left and right, mainly centering some specific sensitive users that ive blocked on here, there were people sending death threats and threatening to kill themselves every day. and i desperately told them that their lives had value. all of this drama and suicide baiting was absolutely murdering my mental health in cold blood, so when i broke my kindle screen, i had an episode where i nearly killed myself. no one saw. not anyone irl, not anyone online except for a friend who didnt take it seriously. i didnt really draw too much attention to it anyways. btw, all of this was happening while my dad ran off with my now stepmom and was dumb enough to put himself into a mentally abusive relationship. my mom, who i live with, hates those two so much. also my stepmom is queerphobic and has internalized conservativity.

i got tumblr as soon as i got my first phone, near the start of june. i love tumblr with all my heart, but it fucking murders your mental health nearly just as bad as cs. i mean, what do you expect from a website that makes you think that all the problems of the world are your fault? i have met great people here, but it still fucking sucks.

the real nail in the coffin was when a user on comic studio (who i have now blocked on tumblr) made a half baked shitty "callout post" on me. i will say, i did do something wrong that i apologized for afterwards, but everything else was past drama that they brought up even though i had already apologized for all of it. i apologized, and decided that i should leave comic studio. and so i did. keep in mind that all of this has been happening while my main family (which means excluding my dad and step mom) lives paycheck to paycheck.

now flash forward to the present. im on my phone for 14 hours a day on average laying on the couch scrolling through tumblr and watching youtube and playing roblox wishing i was dead. i have no one to blame for this behavior but myself. i would hope that the rest of 2023 is ok, but i already know i will have a horrible rest of the year. yeah this was a rly big rant. ily guys and i hope your 2023 was better than mine.

[lovecrazedpup]

Are you ok?

erm, at the moment . kinda . lol. just been inactive bc running a tumblr blog is . kinda draining - even though i run primarily off a queue lol.

long life rant for my,,, 86 followers i suppose !

im 18 now, turning 19 in april (i started my first yanblr in ? 2020 maybe? so when i was 13/14 and it got banned in 2022 lmfao). i was so much more unstable back then, and im a bit better now.

i found my current bf in 2022, and we've been . kinda on and off for nearly 3 years now. we took a 'break' for months in late 2023 (? or 2022 idfk, it was over a christmas) and i fucking hated it. i was cutting and crying every day it was so fucking bad lol. and then, the day after he broke up with me, he flew up to see his friends and he probably just partied n cheated on me and stuff but its FINE probably idk

ummm then he suddenly started joining calls again with me n the group again and i guess that evolved into us doing sleep calls again and . other shit (lol) but i was entirely under the impression it was FWB stuff but ! turns out it wasnt even though like 4 months prior he said that he never loved me but thats fine

now ive worked at maccas for a bit, at kfc for a bit, and doing a christmas casual thing at myer for a bit and i got accepted into TAFE to do a certificate 3 in childcare + childhood education - which will allow me to, yk, work at a pre-school.

ive saved up enough money to finally meet my friends and boyfriend. but i dont know if im meeting my bf alone or if hes flying up to see our friends together but god i fucking hope its just us bc idk if i can be all relationship-y in front of other people. us meeting is pretty much just just trying to get the answer to 'are they insufferable irl and do i want to continue the relationship' . which i find will be kinda a hard conversation to have with other people in the house/around us/WHATEVER .

but thats a conversation i need to have with him on the 22nd after i go to my TAFE orientation and find out when my term holidays are (bc the plan is to visit him when the school holidays happening) . yay .

i definitely feel like we are more friends with benefits bc he doesnt seem to want to do anything privately with me anymore. like just us 2 in call . which is upsetting . but its ok .

idk all in all, im kinda fucking struggling STILL with doubts and anxiety. and more often than not im finding myself wanting to cut and cry every day and sometimes on the way to work i have the urge to just jump in front of the train im catching - but im still here so take that as you will.

sometimes, to get through the day, i pretend we're just friends so that i dont have to remember that we're in a relationship and that he treats me more like a friend than a girlfriend .

i wonder if im not enough or if he's embarrassed. i dont really know how to do my makeup and i think all of his own friends are dating really pretty girls - and im a cute 4/10 at best . i dont want to be the 'ugly girlfriend'.

i think my life is slowly coming together but im also in a shit headspace a lot of the time . i think about breaking up a lot . sometimes i dont know if its worth being together when i dont feel loved and supported . im scared to meet him bc what if im ugly and gross - im scared he'll judge me if we have sex.

but ill be ok i think.

thank you for asking, anon xx

[furibond]

ok imunna air out the rest of my marineford frustrations cause externalizing stuff helps me let go of it, under readmore for convenience

ok so part of my frustration comes from being spoiled - if you know from the start that the pirates will fail, watching all these cool new pirates struggle against smarmy marine assholes knowing the assholes will come out on top doesnt feel fun, while i imagine the intended experience is for the viewer to be rooting for the pirates expecting them to win, and then be shocked and grief-struck when ace dies.

some of my other grievances are legitimate, though!

1st problem is this arc is too focused on new characters. we already lost the strawhats at sabaody, but in impel down the focus was consistently on luffy, with a rotating cast of familiar faces joining him and only 3 new allies introduced. marineford is a constant parade of new faces, some of the main emotional beats of the arc hang on those new faces, and sometimes it does not work at all. like, oars jr, sure, the flashback with the hat was cute enough and the animation and voice acting compelling enough that yeah, you feel for the guy when he nearly reaches ace then drops not-dead. squard, though? i dont feel shocked by his betrayal, cause i dont know him and he shows up outta nowhere with a spider on his face and a shirohige-sized sword. i dont feel moved by shirohige's forgiveness and his repentance, cause i barely know shirohige at this point and squard's little flashback after his betrayal wasnt enough to make him endearing. theres a stretch of episodes after the tsunamis freeze where luffy doesnt show up at all and it is Such a breath of fresh air when the impel down ship drops down in the middle of the battle cause why should i care abt this war otherwise?

also maybe it's just cause i'm bad at strategy but the battle makes so little sense to me? like it seems pretty clear that shirohige could destroy like all the marine small fry and the 3 admirals could destroy all the pirate small fry, but after their big opening moves of the twin tsunamis getting frozen by aokiji, they p much just sit back and watch for a huge chunk of the arc? like yeah having all the small fry wiped out early on would be lame, but u could have the admirals engage shirohige and the division commanders and then shift the narrative focus to the smaller battles, so i dont have to wonder why all the big names arent doing shit. the shichibukai get a pass cause it's been long established that they barely listen to the marines and it was an ordeal just to get them to show up, but everyone else confuses me

finally, ace's stupid death, copied from a chat:

alright so i knew from tumblr and fanfic that ace was gonna die saving luffy from akainu. alright, sounds angsty, i can get behind this. somehow nobody ever mentions that the reason akainu had such an easy shot at luffy was BECAUSE ACE STOPPED TO ARGUE WITH HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR ESCAPE CAUSE HE WAS TALKING SHIT

like your father is literally sacrificing his life back there so that you and your fam can escape with your lives and you gotta "defend his honour" by throwing your life away fighting some shitty marine instead of honoring his sacrifice by getting the hell outta dodge??

and additionally the mechanics of his death r so dumb??? he dies because magma burns hotter than fire? no it fucking doesn't?? in what world???? so the guy made of literal fucking fire dies cause the hot rocks were too hot and burned the fire? i.

aight thats it thats all i had to rant about, now i feel better

[cardtorius]

Ok good news and bad news is i basically HAD to quit. So for one thing i was right about yesterday he literally said he sent me home cuz i was sick on monday and he wasnt going to pay me to be in the bathroom all day, which is fair, but i had to argue with him about "how long" it was, motherfucker wanted to say 25 minutes when it was literally 15, 11:32 to 11:47, and i shit like once a day usually so i think thats fair and i explained how i drink alot of water and may pee frequently but its 1-2 mins and not only that but the fact that it was one time doesn't justify sending me home ntm kind of a stupid convo to be having when they knew you were sick the day b4. Then he also wanted to reem me out about my work how yesterday took me an hour to get a lead, how im not doing what hes saying when i am or im trying anyway, i said look "i can't deal with someone thats gonna pick and choose what they feel is worth acknowledging of what i do" and ya know "maybe you should have made sure my numbers were where they needed to be b4 having me work the warehouse" i still can't believe this asshole was gonna chew me out like that and send me back on the phones thinking thatd make a difference like no wonder my numbers are low dude gives bad advisory and expects the world. He told me a week ago to "kick the beta male nice guy routine" on the phones which i did and i think in one day of changing that it didnt work right away, what i didnt tell him is i had 8 leads by the time i left but somehow that probably wouldn't have mattered. I also like the fact he compares me to two middle aged ladies, that also work in the office, that have 2 pretty extinuating factors on me 1 they both have been there longer, 2 gov. Receptionists tend to trust a female on the phone asking for a model number than a man, the sheer amount of stress culminating from doing the job itself and dealing with this manager was insane, he knew i had outside shit going on too and used it against me at one point like "you gotta deal with your outside shit". Anyway apologies for the rant, don't trust any telemarketer companies, big or small. Fuck i promise ill stop using tumblr as a diary starting now. Lol i swear.

I have a feeling im getting fired today.

[seethelovelyintheworld]

It was a long time ago, but I still can't believe that in the "Attached" episode of Star Trek TNG, Beverly Crusher turned down Jean Luc after learning he had been in love with her and wants to try to have a relationship with her. The man is hot and smart and has a voice that instantly melts butter. What's not to like? Who else are you holding out for, sweetcheeks? Captain America?

[jemmo]

what's one thing about pat and pran you wanted to rant about but still didn't?

oh dear anon you have well and truly opened a can of worms here. i think there are like a million tiny things about patpran that i havent ranted about yet, like little aspects to their dynamics or specific headcannons i have for them. but seen as im being give the opportunity, youre putting down the soapbox for me, i felt like i had to think carefully. tumblr is telling me its been 8 hours since i got this ask and believe me, i have non stop been going through the filing cabinet in my head of patpran rants looking for a good one. then i remembered that i wanted to talk about something, so here we go.

ive seen people talk before about how much they love the fact that, when pat has his realization, he doesnt go into any kind of gay crisis. his mind is going through a lot, but i dont think any of those thoughts are 'oh god i like a boy wtf am i gay what is this its weird gross ew'. im not saying his revelation has no affect on how he views his sexuality, i think its just that its not that shocking to him bc hes just so fine with it yknow. like if someone came out to him he wouldnt even do a double take, and so he doesnt for himself. hes more like oh cool moving on, very much so concerned with acting on his feelings. like i dont think it even crosses his mind to have an identity crisis, he just needs to tell pran, like, now.

anyway this is all to say that i love how this attitude manifested in ep 7 in a more physical way. bc throughout the series we've seen that pat is fine with physical contact and closeness, but it wasnt inherently sexual or romantic at that point. but now it is, you can just tell, whenever theyre near there are sparks just because of their proximity. and the thing is, not only is pat ok with that, but he more so than pran initiates and encourages physical intimacy with that implicit meaning. he takes his shirt of twice, openly invites pran to look at him in a sexual way, encourages pran to touch him, and even outside those moments in the curry scene at the start and the face cleaning scene, pat is the one to touch pran's face. and i just think it fits pat's character so well that there is no hesitance in the exploration of his sexuality, not emotionally or physically. its just so plain and simple and i think thats really something ppl should see and deserve to see. that this man is like 'oh ok i like this boy, i want to touch this boy, i want this boy to touch me too... cool'. pat is a creature that follows his instincts, lives moment to moment and i just love that liking pran for him was like finally putting in the last piece of a puzzle, bc now that its complete, its not like hes wondering 'hmm i wonder if that was the right piece, does it fit right', bc the picture is clear and it makes perfect sense and theres no need to fret over or overthink or analyse any of it. and it screams so loudly this whole meant to be, destined to be together vibe they have, like the universe itself was created so they could be with each other.

anyway, im rambling and getting off topic, but as i was talking about ep 7, i wanna end it with this. in all of pran's flirtations and advances, very contrary to the finger licking incident at the end of ep 7, all of his flirting, seduction, insinuation is verbal. he is the absolute king of dropping lines so laced with romantic and sensual meaning that absolutely ruin pat. but think about all the flirting we see in ep 7, in none of them does pran touch pat without pat starting it. even in the library when pran is very much getting up in pat's personal space, he leverages himself on his arm, traps pat in and dangles himself in front of pat without touching. this says a lot to me about both of them. firstly, that i think pran knows that pat is attracted to him, plain and simple. bc its so easy with these two to talk about their star crossed, written in the stars, decided by fate love. but i love that in these moments you can see there's plain and simple attraction, like pat's face sometimes screams 'i find you so hot and attractive' and like yes looks arent everything but i love that in their relationship that can be so deep and complex, sometimes its as simple as were both really attracted to each other, bc that is a part of any good relationship too. and the fact pran uses it as leverage in his flirting is excellent. secondly, it shows how pran is the more reserved one, the one more reluctant to end this bet, bc hes so comfortable with talking the talk, but walking the walk is a whole other thing, and he's only comfortable with that when invited into it by pat, when in his mind he can be certain that this is a game, and he is free in the game, and this physical intimacy doesnt have to mean anything. i talked before about how pran can truly express himself when his mind switches off and he allows himself to act in the moment, and this applies here too. there's too many mental barriers stopping him from instigating a physical interaction, but when caught up in the moment, swept up on the fun of the game and being with pat, he doesnt have to overanalyse his actions and therefore he can be physically intimate.

and i love how this whole physical vs non-physical battle plays out. i love that, while he wont touch pat, he'll touch wai and make a show of it bc he knows thats something he's keeping from pat at the moment. he is well and truly keeping that card close to his chest, dangling it right in front of pats nose that he'll put his arm around him at the rugby practice and wipe his mouth at the noodle place. its more than just jealousy that pran is touching wai, its an absolute power move. pran is literally like i wont instigate any physical intimacy with you, but look at me drape myself all over wai, and let it stir up all that jealousy, let it make you angry, let it be the thing that breaks you bc you do desperately want me to touch you, and for that touch to be of my own accord. and then he does, right at the end, the first initiation of physical touch by pran is him wiping pats mouth, right after he made his confession by feeding him. it shows that he's now allowing himself to initiate bc he is comfortable with it, he doesnt need there to be any excuses of a game and neither does he have to withhold that from pat for the sake of winning. there are no winners and losers anymore, just a boyfriend that he can touch whenever he wants and who will touch him in return. and i cant wait to see this whole thing blossom into the most beautiful and adorable displays of casual intimacy so i can throw up over how in love they are.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

thoughtfulposting about some art i made recently (readmore cus long)

this year i rly wanted to draw madoka for her birthday in a way that represents the frequency of self actualized libra, as a test for myself like how well can i put down the energy i sense visually, but also, to help myself understand my own motivations at this point in my life. i watched madoka magica for the first time in 2012 when i was 18 so its been w me for 10 years now. there’s a lot of ancient text posts scattered across my old tumblrs where im ranting about how i feel so useless and empty like madoka, i have nothing to offer except giving all of my self up to the people in my life. i see it in so many libra types, suns moons risings whatever, its like you want nothing more than to be a side character in your own life. the sun is in it’s detriment when it’s in libra because it makes your ego so weak, it often takes years to even gain the self awareness that you accidentally merge with everyone you care about to the extent that the thought of being You is terrifying. it wasnt even like anyone had to force me to be their sidekick. it just happened naturally, it was what i wanted, i was always known as someone’s best friend or partner, it’s what i was comfortable with but.. over time it wore me down, when i was alone i’d lose my mind, i grew so insecure that i had no means of self sufficiency. since the time i was 18 i slowly became more aware of the way i was sacrificing too much of myself in a way that was ultimately unproductive to everyone.. i had to cycle through the same lessons over n over again before it really REALLY sunk in. speaking of cycles, i am almost done with my saturn return, which is the first cycle of saturn that takes around 29.5 years. my saturn is in aquarius, almost exactly trine my libra sun and jupiter. saturn is also the ruling planet of my chart, being that i am capricorn rising. its a time of high pressure. everything i was doing that was  unsustainable has completely crumbled around me. i am forced to develop into my own person and for all the pain, it is giving me an unusual sense of gratitude.. so i knew that when i drew madoka i wanted to draw her by herself. and i wanted her to look strong.. i kept thinking of the world card, the way it’s representative of wholeness, fulfillment, completion of cycles. the way she’s looking back into the past w compassion as she steps forward into the future. i wasnt sure though, i was trying to come up w other ideas too. i had just started listening to bladee spiderr for the first time as i was looking up pictures of the world card. suddenly as understatement is playing it clicks w me the lyrics im hearing,,

(Gravity very up, won the World Cup) (What? What? What? What?) F the world, what? F the world, what? What? What? What? What? (Gravity very up, won the World Cup) (What? What? What? What?) (F the world, what? F the world, what?)

i just kept hearing him repeat “The World” and it felt so synchronized like it was the first time id ever heard that song, i am hearing these lyrics for the first time as im staring at the world card which i had just searched up right before it got to that part in the song. it felt like a message T-T and then this as the outro,

Never read the reason as a sign Keep this little secret in your mind Final destination is the sky Caterpillar dreamt that it could fly

yep OK i hear you loud & clear, im drawing madoka as the world! it was a cathartic thing to draw, more than most of my drawings. i cried a lot during the process, thinking about how far ive come, how much ive evolved from the scared fragile 18yr old madokaform i once was. its not like im doing amazing now but i know who i am and i am working hard to create my own purpose that will unfold just for me. this blog has helped me a lot to feel like i can explore my own world. ofc the nature of this blog is still somewhat reliant on input from others.. but i like that.. i think there’s good and distinguishable boundaries and like. this time last year i was posting to no one and it was basically like that for 6 months. and id do it again! because i post to post, whether people reciprocate or not, does not dictate my actions. it’s freeing.. it really is great though, the little tumblr community on here, it’s incredibly sweet and i love u all a lot. it’s really helping me get thru the crumbling period of my life. if you even read all this, thank you! i wanted to write this for catharsis. i want to be the hero of my story like aries bladee. yep thats my ramblings for today.

Your favourite songs getting old, the same story being told Over and over and over again Too many times in a row, the same lesson I know the same lesson I know I know, I know To holy lights we exposed We start shining in gold Golden, golden, golden

[hacked-by-jake]

Ok, i wanna follow up on the "being less talented or useless" anon ask, and yes, i will do it as anon too, cause, tbh, im a chicken to do it with my blog name😂

Firstly, I can understand that anon, i myself had the same feelig manny times, and honestly, i dont think that feeling will ever leave me. Follow that feeling up with the preasure of trying/wanting/needing to get better...it sucks, and it can screw with your mind really badly. And yes, im aware there are and always will be manny people that are more talented than me, and I am well aware my fics will never get a 100+likes, but thats ok. But i write, and will continue to do so, cause it makes me happy. And even if theres just one like on something that i wrote, that will make me happy.

But the reason i sent this to you is actualy something completelty different, so let me try to explain:

I came to realisation, that in every fandom,  there are a few types of people. And here where the problem is - if you are not "in cahoots" with the right people of that fandom, no matter what you do wont be good enough. Now, you can disagree with me here, thats fine, everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, but this is mine, and i stand behind it totally. Cause i read so manny great fics with so little likes/coments that were way better then some who got lots of likes, cause the one who wrote it wasnt connected with the right people of the fandom.

Again, just my opinion, but thats how i see it.

So, once again, to the anon who sent you that ask, dont give up, do what makes you happy firstly and mostly for yourself. You will either get better at it, or wont, but dont stop doing what brings joy to you! You wont know theboutcome of it by simply giving up.

And to you Hbj, i thank you in advace if you read this, and i apologise for this long rant, you are free to delet it without posting/answering it, but this thought was occupying my mind lately, and this anon ask just resurfaced that thought back, and tbh, its good to finaly let it out.

First of all: Hey Anon!

You know, I actually don’t quite agree with you, I can tell you why. I’ve been here longer than most of the people who are here right now. When I started here, the fandom had a lot more active members. There were many more people here and they were also active throughout.

I don’t think I need to pretend that I’m not so well known, because I’m one of the biggest blogs here at Duskwood Fandom on Tumblr. No, of course it’s not supposed to sound pretentious, but I also think it’s no secret. I’ve been here for over a year now, I’m incredibly proud of the range one my blog has reached, but see? It also took me time, and I also "fought here"😅

Of course, I would also reblogged a few times from larger blogs but with me it all came with time. At the moment, fandom is actually not as active as it used to be, which of course also contributes to the fact that some things don’t get as much attention as they might otherwise. It takes some time to build up a "range", I did it myself.

And what was also part of it for me was that fandom was generally more active, which is why it went even faster.

Personally, I don’t care who the person is, and what they belong to, if I like the work, I share it. And I don’t share everything, nor do I read everything, and of course I don’t see everything.

But in the same way, I don’t share everything that the blogs I'm connect with the most post.

And I’m very much referring to me now that you sent me this message, so I’m assuming you mean me, too..

Well, and as you also said, you saw stories that had less likes but were better than stories that had many likes. Please remember, that’s your opinion. Everyone has different tastes and just because you found them better doesn’t mean that it was actually like this or that everyone sees it like this. To say that this person just doesn’t belong to the right group is unfair not me, because maybe not everyone liked it as you liked it. I don’t know what you’re referring to now, so I’ll take it as this..

I fully accept your opinion, I even think it’s a pity that you think so because this is certainly not an intention of anyone here.

Yes, of course you sympathize more with some people, but you generalize this in such a way that I think it’s a pity. Because as I said, I do not see every single post that is published here, nor will others. And to say that this is generally the case is, in my view, a great pity. But I’m serious, I have absolutely no problem with your opinion, and I don’t want to change your opinion either, but I still feel like I have to explain myself, because I don’t prefer anyone directly, I share and like that, what I like, I also read only what appeals to me in general.

-

But about what you say yourself and to the anon, I can agree with you one hundred percent. As I said, I am still unsure and I still feel that I am less talented. (As I also say, this is simply a fact and I can live with it, of course this is not the most beautiful feeling in the world, but so it is, I will be able to improve, but maybe never become as good as others are)

And believe me, you shouldn’t say you’ll never get over 100 likes. I also thought so, and if we are honest, my first fanfictions are really grottos bad. xD And many of my own stories aren’t over 100 likes yet. But you’re right, you shouldn’t stop because of anything if you enjoy it. Because it’s still all about fun and having a good time together.

And don’t worry, your rant is okay. It’s your right to share your opinion, and believe me, I really have no problem with that. :D

I have to admit, I felt a little bit attacked because I don’t want to make anyone feel like they’re not good enough or anything. I want to treat everyone equally here and not give anyone any advantages or disadvantages.

And, of course, I won’t just delete or ignore your submission, that is not proper. It’s okay to let go of your thoughts, and also to share, don’t worry.

I hope you will have a great day/evening/night! Take care of yourself and stay healthy! 🥰🌹💚

Also, I hope you don’t take my answer badly, or anything else, it’s not meant to be mean, and I’m neither mad, nor anything else. I’d rather thank you for sharing and for taking the time to write all this.🥰

And I hope you understand what I want to say with all this. 😅

-

And of course, this is for everyone now, always remember, be nice to each other and love each other. No one wants to argue and I hope that we can continue to do so.❤️

[animatedrapture]

I HAVE GASOLINE LAYING AROUND IN MY HOUSE AND IM OMW TO SET KANA ON FIRE :))))

ok im about to compile possibly like 10 chapters worth of kana hate KJHLDSDJS

so. sorry i wasnt able to respond to so manyyyyyy of these on time and all, i get overwhelmed super easily but i truly, truly love all of you and appreciate each msg :DD these have all either made me think real hard LMFOAHJSKD or had me laughing so hard and gasping lmfao. but yeah, i appreciate all of these and everything i mightve never gotten bc tumblr asks is dumb as well as the ones ive still yet to come back to or answer. almost each and every single one of these have been a guidance with what i wanted to do with the smau, whenever i wanted to switch something up or make something better in the smau, your msgs helped a lot in improving it in some way and helping me figure out what i truly wanted to do with the smau and for that, thank u!!!

Anonymous asked:

FUCK KANA ALL MY HOMIES HATE HER HANA SPILLED HER DRINK ON HER? SHE DID THE RIGHT THING ALSO FUCK SUNA BC EVEN UF HE HAD SEX WITH YN AND SAID HE ADORES HER HIS ACTIONS/AFFECTION TOWARDS KANA GIVES MIXED SIGNALS AND ITS TIME HE GET ACCOUNTABLE OF SAID ACTIONS sorry for the rant 🥴

Anonymous asked:

the “tw kana” absolutely sent me into orbit i cackled 😭

Anonymous asked:

anons bonding over kana hate🤝🏻🤝🏻🤝🏻

Anonymous asked:

yeah its only you who doesn't dislike her FGHDJGKUJ IM KIDDING no but really more than hate her its hate the way shes in between like it pisses me off the cockblock she is 😭😭

Anonymous asked:

if i were kana,,,i would either tell him i still have feelings OR hurt in silence (step back) since technically he or should i say they decided to be JUST bestfriends not cockblocking the possibility for him to be in a relationship

Anonymous asked:

kana has to make a choice: she confess or shut the fuck up bc as far as we know they decided to be just bff (highkey think suna was more into being just friends and kana kinda lied) so IF he likes someone else why the fuck try to sabotage him (his happiness with someone else) when he find it out then what? would he still keep her as a friend? 🧐

Anonymous asked:

What if I just...shift or whatever you guys call it, into As Friends universe...and bonk Kana on the head...lol just kidding...ah ha ha ha No please she is starting to sound like the girl best friend that would make couples break up because she does not care about boundaries...honey, you're the best friend, yes, you're important, but that's his girlfriend...stay in your lane. Lol like "I don't want to confess" but "He's mine so I have to get rid of all competitions" lol fucking clown yeah no, I don't have to wait for you to write more about her to make me hate her sksksksksk I already do

Anonymous asked:

Ayo istg kana's been giving y/n the stinky eye... if she stares at y/n like that one more time LAWD HELP HER SOUL, im coming for her eyes!!! But fr,, Rin better treat y/n right and put kana in her place. Bc y/n got a best friend too (samu) u^u and he can cook and would treat her good.

Anonymous asked: likE I KEEP SAYING eAT SHIT KANA

Anonymous asked: I am CRAVING IMMENSE VIOLENCE bring that girl kana here lemme knock her teeth down her throat. >:(

Anonymous asked:

kana (derogatory)

Anonymous asked:

istg if a bus doesn’t hit kana i’m gonna do it

Anonymous asked:

kana toxic best friend it’s time for suna to realise IT 😤😤

Anonymous asked:

kana has family problems only rin knows about? what in the ao haru ride manga 😐

Anonymous asked:

WHY KANA FUKC

Anonymous asked:

NAH MY GUT FEELING TELLING ME KANA WAS BAD NEWS SINCE THE BEGINNING also she wants suna all to herself (he sees her as a bff) but doesn’t say shit to him... if course he’s gonna find someone in the future whether in college or after (unless the bitch will still to his ass even when he goes pro)

Anonymous asked:

everyday i wake up with notifs from u i feel like im about to get subjected to pain and IM RIGHT THIS TIME TOO what the hell kana u will never be yn (me) 🙏🏼🧇

Anonymous asked:

bro part of me wants to punch suna so bad bc like hes so awkward but so smooth like who tf do u want stop being a smooth ass mf u know these two bitches like u

Anonymous asked: i might just obliterate everyone named kana cause of as friends THE WHOLE TIME MY EYE WAS TWITCHING CAUSE OF HER FUCK KDDSKDLSDK EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO OBLITERATE HER SAY "I" but like hi! i hope youre well

Anonymous asked:

even tho u always insist you'd never het mad at me girl HUHH i used to be genuinely good w kana now she's just a manipulative bitch :// kana babe sorry but ur best friend is allowed to spend time with other people 🙄

xmyshya asked:

I 👏 love 👏 Hana 👏 Also 👏 fuck 👏 Kana 👏 and Rin you idiot, what do you mean he's not gonna pursue dating T_T it's just a few chapters till the end T_T wut T_T

yourstarvic asked:

Kana needs to back up before she gets beat up 😤 me and my homies ain’t playing no more 😤

Anonymous asked:

omg that ur probably mad (even tho u said u’d never get mad at me!) broooo

Anonymous asked:

kana gonna get even more territorial in the next chapters im getting kinda scared to see how rin reacts 😒 shes gonna lowkey (highkey) manipulate rin like oh u said youll never leave me you said i come first and all that mhmmm girl dont make me break your neck 👎🏼👎🏼

Anonymous asked:

huh so is kana basically a pick me girl

Anonymous asked:

“you’d be selfish abt this” girl

Anonymous asked:

why tf kana gotta ask yn bro u don't know her just ask suna directly 🙄 putting her in an awkward ass position how's she supposed to say no i'm sorry kana's being annoying as hell rn

Anonymous asked:

it’s time for kana to realise: - yn aint just a fling bc suna is spending more time with her - suna clearly sees her just as his bff

Anonymous asked:

Kana saying "I was worried you'd be selfish about this haha" well bitch now I gotta be 😒

Anonymous asked:

“i was worried you’d be selfish about this hahaha” -the one who’s for the streets kana better watch herself…y/n was being kind, i will not be

Anonymous asked:

DID KANA REALLY HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK US?????? TO POSTPONE OUR PLANS WITH RIN???? pls that « you understand, right? » was just so manipulative oh my god-

Anonymous asked:

kana can go cry & write to her diary about it 😘😘

Anonymous asked:

“y/n right?” after literally meeting her plssss

Anonymous asked:

miss kana is just gonna have to miss him a little more bc i'm not canceling SHIT!!

Anonymous asked:

kana is playing chess while we’re playing checkers

Anonymous asked:

everytime you post and kana gets fucked over my day is made and it all I'm going to think about

Anonymous asked:

im catching up on as friends bc i havent read a few chapters and kana saying “arent you just with yn” made me extra angry go trip down some stairs kana

Anonymous asked:

u made my week with the update 😭🖤 i hate kana sfm lol

Anonymous asked:

kana suffering either way the story goes? I'm in -🦄

Anonymous asked:

kana n suna need to grow up lowkey it’s very highschool

Anonymous asked:

WHOEVER SENT THIS I AM CHOOSING VIOLENCE who's in, let's go beat kana-🦄

Anonymous asked:

hELL YEAAHH GET FUCKED KANA /neg

[supertransural]

supernatural made me realize a bunch of shit about myself, specifically identity and it’s part of the reasons why i think it’s an inherently queer story.

allow me to clarify. once upon a time, 6 years ago, i found supernatural. back then i was mostly in the closet, even to myself. i’d gotten to that point of “hah wouldn’t it be nice to be like guys on tv and kiss the pretty girls” but not much further than that, because in most of the movies i had watched with my parents, the personality of the guy wasn’t really explored in the way supernatural (mostly unintentionally ngl) does with its characters.

so picture a teen, finding my first tv show to watch alone, being able to think my very own comments about it and not fear any repercussions from those thoughts because hey, i’m alone in my room i can think what i like about what i’m seeing. and feeling.

and here enters dean. complicated, comes from a rough childhood, parental expectations weighing so heavy on him it’s bleeding through his smiles, has a brother he feels is his duty to protect, is stuck in a loop of denial repression depression sublimation denial repression depression sublimation den-

you get the gist. i related to that guy. and then here he goes getting bi-coded (didn’t know what that was at the time but looking back, i could sure as hell feel it) and then kissing girls on screen, despite his wavering self-confidence. little ol’ gay me was like “yoooo i relate to this character on most of his character points, do i also relate to like..... wanting to do what he does??? do i wanna kiss other girls????”. fast forward one season and i’ve already figured out i was maybe bi. literally thanks to season 1 dean.

so, having figured out this “minor” aspect of myself, i went on youtube to find some other people like me and try to see if i was right to be homophobic towards myself or not. figured out, hey uh, definitely not. so you can also add “it ended up making me try to put a stop to my internalized homophobia” on the list of things that shitpost of a show helped me with.

i went back to the show for another season, relating even more to dean, and “blah blah blah queer coded character blah blah blah gay me could feel it before i knew what it was blah blah blah happy gay stuff”. several seasons passed by before anything new came up on my “hm this show rly out here bringing out all the queer aspects of myself huh” journey, but anyways i was still slowly but surely thinking holy shit i wanna be this goddamn man i want to be dean.

then comes season 4, walzing into my questioning little heart. oof ok, this season hit ALL the right spots for me. because i could feel what was going on between cas and dean and even though everything was still blurry as fuck, the parallel between sam/ruby and dean/cas was clear as day. and i was like “oh so you’re saying there’s a love here and it’s like that tarnished love between sam and ruby and it’s forbidden so that’s why we’re not seeing it and it’s like... gay”. so it made me realize “holy shit, i wanna see more gay content, and it’s ok to want that.”

then cas became another extremely relatable character, because i just kept thinking “he doesn’t really have a gender the same way other humans do” and i shit you not, he started me questioning my own gender. because again, a relatable character that you somewhat identify with that makes you ask questions about their identity INEVITABLY makes you ask questions about yourself. queue me going on youtube yet again to understand this shit a little better. i went through a few months of thinking “maybe i’m nb”, joined a few more gay communities on the internet, started learning about lgbtq+ things, watched a few more gay shows, and basically just grew a little more into my queerness.

fasforward several seasons, a couple gap years where i stopped watching it, and you’ll get to me a year ago. i thought i was a gay woman, fairly happy in that mental space and identity. but then. the whole “i wanna be dean” thing came up a lot again. because he just kept on being more and more visibly queer coded as i kept on learning more about this shit.

lo and behold, i jumped straight into the idea i was trans. and wouldya look at dat, i was right. quarantine happened, so i had to get even more of my interactions through online platforms, and quite obviously hovered around the gayer ones, or at least the lgbtq+ sides of them. and as i kept watching the show on and off, binging the first seasons for the 4th time, i kept learning more and more about myself. and those acts of gay frenzy were always started by seeing something relatable or strange in that show and looking it up. like, legitimately every time.

i found this community on tumblr a few weeks ago because i was tired of having my own little hypotheticals in my head and not knowing if anyone agreed, and the more i’ve been here the more i’ve learned about myself. the more i’ve let go of a lot of internalized hatred. the more i’ve been really ok with myself, as a trans guy. BUT ITS NOT FINISHED YET.

because, as we all know, it is common understanding here that dean is bi. WELL, i’ve been re-binging the show with that mindset finally clear in my head, and the “haha dean relatable lol” thing came up again, except it was really a “haha dean (who is bi) super relatable lol” thing now. so i paused, yet again, to think about that a little more. AND FIGURED OUT I WASNT STRAIGHT, IM BI AS FUCK.

that happened 1 month ago. i thought i’d grown fully into my queer self, that i’d gone through enough realizations and coming outs (to friends only, god forbid i come out to my parents (unfortunately quite literally god forbid lmao) before i’m out of here) for a lifetime. but apparently not. AND IT WAS STILL BECAUSE OF SUPERNATURAL. destiel and trans!dean fics helped with my internalized transphobia and homophobia, they helped with acceptance of those parts of myself. something that helped was also seeing the fact that shipping two guys in a tv show wasn’t just “being greedy with my grubby little gay hands” and wanting to think of a character as trans wasn’t just “being delusional and ridiculous”. and reading fics wasn’t cringy, it was nice and comforting.

so to try and sum up this unhinged gay rant, what i meant by my initial statement is this.

looking back on this entire self-discovery journey that i went on, it really felt like i was in the impala with the boys, except i was on a different kind of route (just picture this giant road painted in rainbow colors with baby driving at 80mph on it, that’s what it felt like). i grew with those characters, but most importantly i grew THANKS to those characters. their story was queer enough to make me, a fairly homophobic, traditional, conservative kid into a lib trans bi dude. and not in a “i got converted by the fandoms” way. i found the fandom waaaaayyyyyyyy later. i stumbled upon the fandoms looking for answers about this gayass goddamn show that i could FEEL was like me but couldn’t verbalize yet.

their story felt like a queer self discovery story and i could already see that before i went on it myself. no other shows have ever done that for me, and i’ve watched shows that had lgbtq+ characters in them, scripted gay scenes, not just subtext but text. and they still didn’t do that for me.

so this is why this show is so meaningful to be, and incidentally so very gay. like genuinely.

[tuiyla]

Ok this may be a bit of a rant.

So I see daily someone slagging off Brittany. When I first watched the show, I really liked her character as she was just a bit silly, her one liners were priceless, she didn’t really have a clue about things. On second watching, yeah she annoyed me a little, but no more than 50% of the bigger characters. Now, I like her, she’s not a favorite, but I have no really strong contempt for her.

But what I see now on tumblr is complete dislike of her. Every line she delivered is taken to be offensive or completely stupid, when no - it was supposed to be taken tongue in cheek. Some of the criticism of her is about the whole making out with Kurt, or Kurt’s election campaign. She wasnt perfect - the sex tape was probably the worse - but again I think it was the show trying to be edgy and funny, when it just backfired making the character look bad. So to cut a long story short, Brittany gets a lot of unfair criticism and my theory is because over the past few years Hemo has been criticized over things she’s supposed to have done and said. People judge the actress not the character.

This is in comparison to Quinn or Rachel or Santana who probably did far worse things on the show, but are not condemned for it.

This is a rant safe space.

I really love Brittany. I think the thing about her will always be balancing what to take seriously and so interpretations will always differ wildly. I've touched on this before but I think with Brittany, more than any other ch, you can't take every one-liner at face value and that can be frustrating, yes, because what do you consider to be part of the character then? And like I say I think that will be different for everyone.

There are aspects of her and her actions that I think people take too literally and I've seen those be the main reasons why she's disliked. But you know at the end of the day, that's their right I just won't engage with it. I love Brittany, one-liners and all.

I wouldn't know about the Hemo stuff so I won't comment, I don't think that should be dragged into it. As for the comparison to other chs, I don't consider that to be too productive either and I don't think characters should be judged based on the net morality of their actions. Framing, tone, context, all of that matters and I find the toxic/problematic discourse exhausting and severely lacking in nuance. So once again I'll just say I love Brittany ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And if people don't for whatever reason, cool, we don't have to mind it.

[yibuo]

UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??

i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS

tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)

HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL

long danni= wjjw company ceo

wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under

huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine

alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...

so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP

but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY

anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc

then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 

ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever

-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-

they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 

so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight

so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s

also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY

OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs

anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded

xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting

wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING

peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP

if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird

peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is

anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!

why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 

anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!

here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard

-xnine slideshow

-xnine faq

-xnine eng sub channel by yuer

-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here

-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr

-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not

also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here

also here’s this video dragging wjjw

[bluemedallion]

So I started the hogwarts au like i dunno, 3 weeks ago? And i wasnt like, sure into dsmp lore by then. I like threw myself into the mcyt fandom shdhs.

I think I was like, kinda in it, finally understanding how to keep up with the lore, but only really paid attention to the ccs I already knew about (the dteam, wilbur and tommy, some others).

So when I made the hogwarts au I like, it was still good. But because I'm me i did it the way i wanted, and decided to center the au mostly around the charas i knew. Idk if i mentioned it anywhere but i made a list of like, the charas i cared about most to least.

The ones near the top were the ones I knew the most about, so I decided to put a list of like 10ish of the ccs i knew the most about and only went into the complicated lore (what their wands were, what their pets were, their patronuses, etc) for those ccs

But heres the problem

Now more stuff has been added to the dsmp, and I'm finally caught up with lore so I'm like, actively here now. I joined around like, ok so I first heard of and was looking at the smp when the s1 finale happened. Then I spent maybe like 2 weeks figuring shit out? I think i started actively watching Tommy's streams (he was the only one i watched at first besides george, now i still mostly do tommy and techno but i also love watching Karl's streams, ranboos, but the rest of the lore is a lil hard for me to keep up with lol @starwither on tumblr is my savior) like, maybe a week before i made the hog au. Ok I'll be honest i dont remember the exact timeline, but luckily for you it's not relevant at all

So the problem is, over the past 3 weeks I got into the lore officially sticking with the streams, exploring different characters, and actually looking at the rest of the streamers instead of the main ones I lister previously

So now, like, for example I did not know who fundy was at all. I had heard of quackity and realized he was super relevant to the schlatt arc cause I think I was catching up to that at the time so he was on the lsit, but I didnt know shit about fundy besides that he was Wilbur's son in canon so I was like "ok I'll make him younger than will but idk him so I wont put him in the list"

But now I've watched more shit and like--- I'm love him🥺🥺🥺

But I already went and added all the random facts and itll be so much work to add fundy and ranboo and the ppl I know better now that i think will be more involved in the stories cause ik them better

But ugh so much workkkkk😔😔😔😔😔

But honestly I'm probably gonna do it

At least for fundy and ranboo (and possibly quig and pete they're not dsmp but they're crazy relevant cause I mean look at their mccs)

I'm p sure there are others but those are the main 2 I can think of that I didnt know shit about before

Ugh the problem is also that I just dont know nobody

Like captain puffy I decided to make a prefect literally last second so thered be 2 relevant chara 5th year prefects, but like, that was a guess I havent seen a single stream of hers. I'm thinking I'm gonna go through mcc vods of diff teams to try and knock off 2 stones at once (learning charas AND deciding their strengths and weaknesses in the hcc and quidditch n stuff)

Last night I went and finally did quidditch shit (I dont know how quidditch works I had to do research shdhshd idk shit) and I didnt have enough charas

I based it on rocket spleef (yall dont even know this yet my tumblr followers yall get sneak peek) and so I had like, maybe 10 charas I wanted for sure on teams. Then I had like 4ish that didnt do mcc but i thought i wanted them on a team (example: minx)

And that sounds like a lot yeah

Then I realized that it equals out to like 3 members per house and theres supposed to be 7----

So I kinda bsed the rest of the team

I went to the list of caring most to least, looked at the least section cause that's streamers that I dont know ANYTHING ABOUT but they're still current mcytbers/streamers so yeah

And I basically just threw all the ones who were in mcc into it 🤡🤡🤡

And I also bsed their houses so bad cause I DONT KNOW THEM HSHDSHS so it's probably fucking awful but I once again do not care

I still only ended up with 5 ppl per team but it's fine I mostly just didnt add some chasers theyll just be Generic BG Character That's Probably A Fandom Character That I'll Yearn For Someone To Comment About

I cant wait to post the quidditch chapter smile

Anyways rant over lmaoooo

Uhhh if you read to the end you get a prize

(Heres your prize!!!!: the temporary title of tHE NEXT IDEA FOR THE SERIES 👀👀👀👀 IM WORKING ON IT RIGHT NOWWWWWWWW)

"Brothers Bond by Making Drugs"