#it’s just so gay and it made me see my own gay
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sometimes I see people being confused where alectostasia ship came from so here's a little bit of run down
I'm not really good with words so it might be clunky
what we know from the text
Anastasia tries to achieve 'perfect lyctorhood', something goes wrong during her ascension, John kills Samael, Anastasia fails her attempt
Anastasia moves to the ninth, continues working on the house or only founding it at that time
John asks Anastasia to help build the tomb 'I built that tomb with Anastasia, designed every inch of it.'
somewhere between working on it and Alecto's entombment, Alecto and Anastasia make a vow where Alecto basically swears as a cavalier to her 'Alecto said, I remember my vows. As I swore to Anastasia I swear to you. I am in your service until you bid me the favour, and whatsoever you appoint I shall perform, and consider the vow rendered. This is what I promised, until such a time as you deal with me as you see fit.'
as John leading Alecto to the tomb, she asks to see Anastasia 'She had said, There are almost no beautiful things left. Where is Anastasia? Let me talk to Anastasia.'
presumable Anastasia is the one to inflict to the ninth house importance of keeping her bloodline and worshiping of the tomb through all of those years
Anastasia's bones are in the tomb 'She looked back beyond, and she saw Anastasia, tucked where nobody would find her: Anastasia, all bones. Not really Anastasia. But Anastasia’s body without the meat on it, snuggled right into the curve of the rock, ready to close the door whenever it was opened. She remembered Anastasia.'
Alecto immediately getting chill after tasting Harrow's blood 'The child was silent; but her blood was on Alecto’s lips, and through that blood Alecto was made to understand what it was, and was astonished exceedingly. Alecto put away wrath and said: Thou art the blood of the tomb-keeper.'
Alecto saying sorry for Samael
the implications
the vow on itself is very interesting, at first we all know how usually normal cavalier and necromancer relationships are. then for Alecto to comply to that, indicates she should be pretty trusting of Anastasia, and their relationships at least somehow better than with other lyctors who were terrified of her
then there's also the tombkeeper blood thing, what serves as a check note for Alecto after waking up, and means the initial purpose of the ninth house was actually waiting for rock to roll away
and one part of the vow seems to imply 'if anyone beside a tombkeeper wake you, slay them as they came to hurt you', as could hinted on a protection from other lyctors who wanted to kill Alecto? (Then Alecto remembered the vow, and turned back upon the altar to face the second child and raised the sword with wrath in her heart, for they meant to bring destruction upon her.)
then the matter of Anastasia's bones laying in the tomb next to the rock. not sure if it's just her skeleton or she made herself a some construct mechanism from her bones. and not clear if she got entombed on her own volition or John closed them both there, but being entombed together five feet apart cause we are not gay
there's also some oddness in Alecto immediately after waking saying she's sorry for Samael, but I won't go into that here, anyway Anastasia was trying to find a better way to lyctorhood and I think in her more close relationships with Alecto she figured out something that John wasn't telling them, before or after her ascension
and some theories
I think I first heard this theory from @/mayasaura, that ninth house tradition of telling secrets while submerged in the salt water could've corelate with Anastasia trying to have a talk like that with Alecto since she feels the most at ease in the salt water, so means pool time for alectostasia too
another one that I really like but not sure how much legs it actually would have in canon, one of the reasons Nona was so enamored with her body cause Harrow is a spitting image of Anastasia, first saw @/corvophobia talking about it
coming back to Harrow, could there be anything more to her taking immediate affection to the Body a la some fuckery with Anastasia's spirt/tombkeeper's blood
more people explained it better, I try to reblog most of the theories in my side blog, you can check it out there but some of it explicit just in case
anyway in conclusion, as I keep procrastinating with my work, I don't think they were making out 24/7 in Canaan house in canon but something for sure happened there between them
#I will still continue drawing them making out 24/7 in Canaan house tho cause who can stop me#the locked tomb#anastasia the first#anastasia the ninth#alecto the ninth#nona the ninth#nona the ninth spoilers#harrow the ninth#harrow the ninth spoilers#alectostasia
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I have not looked at all the notes below, just at these pictures.
This discussion, unfortunately coming up in the lights of all these horrible things, is something I do wish to explore further and that I already kind of felt before - see my last post about Good Omens, as the TV show adaptation and Gaiman's handling of it DID make me doubt some of his claims. While I do believe the first season was made with respect and care for Pratchett's work (despite failing to do justice to Pratchett for me, but at least there was a real sincere effort there), I also believe that with the additional seasons Gaiman was milking the non-existent cow that was the unwritten sequel and that we can't fully trust what he claims when it comes to idea planned since the early beginning and stuff he might want to add or project or on his own... But that's something that tends to happen with every book that is co-authored, so I won't go down there much further.
What I DO want to stress however is that, while yes we can put into doubt how much Gaiman was truly close or "in the papers" of Pratchett (a part of it isn't just Gaiman's own invention, another part is also a lot of popular culture projection and fan assumptions, we can't throw the stones just at Gaiman, there was also the whole cult following thingy at play), we also have to put into doubt WHO is currently putting into doubt the Gaiman-Pratchett connections.
I'll explain: Internet seems to have a very short-term memory, and people tend to forget that not so long ago transphobes literaly tried to mass-gaslight people (and gaslighted themselves) into thinking Pratchett would be against trans people, when Pratchett literaly wrote an entire book about accepting trans people. And for all Gaiman has done or has been accused of doing, we can't forget that he was one of the two fervent defensors of Pratchett - or rather one of the two major voices to denounce the absolute craziness of these people (alongside Pratchett's own daughter). And that's something people did NOT like. A lot of people got angry at Gaiman for "pretending to know" what Pratchett would think...
... This is exactly the same kind of talk that is starting to appear here and there. For very different reasons, from different people, but it is still the same doubt and so it means there's a bridge here ready to be crossed. The same way there is a certain amount of people who try to use the Gaiman scandal to "justify" or "defend" J.K. Rowling, and turn a very serious case of sex crime accusations into somehow a "turns out the transphobe was right all along".
Don't be fooled, the people who are outraged, angry or mobbing against Gaiman aren't not all defendors of women's rights, or betrayed fans, or even just decent people shocked at such a case. Some don't even want to know the truth. There's a lot of people who are ready to pounce and get in the fight just because they hated the guts out of Gaiman for being against transphobia, and for gay people, and for a lot of other causes they want to persecute or eliminate.
There was an interesting thread on Bluesky dissecting Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's relationship
TL:DR - It seems like Gaiman has been exaggerating the level of closeness between them for YEARS
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Random se-mi hcs (no game au)
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﹒ ૮꒰◞ ◟ ꒱ა ⸝ new upload! ❜
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⸝⸝ ◦ tags: regular gay se-mi glaze, facial piercings, smutty parts, hair pulling, mentions of smoking, fictional death, reader and se-mi are switches during freaky time, female reader intended, brat tamer
⸝⸝ ◦ a/n: hey chat i don’t really know what people out here uhhhhh im gay ok yeah let’s get start
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SFW
she likes listening to chase alantic to give her a ego boost after something really embarrassing happens or she breaks up with someone
she owns over 30 hoodies and justifies it as “i just run cold…! why are you judging me?”
she owns a nintendo and plays animal crossing (her favorite character is coco or wolfgang) i feel like she has a toxic relationship with fortnite (im NOT projecting..) like she hates it but she just continues to go back. “one more game”
if she’d ever play stardew valley, she would marry abigail (IFYKYK)
she likes plants and flowers and her favorite flower is a hyacinth
whenever some makes her mad secretly, in the middle of the night will boot up sims, make a sim that looks like the person and kill them. (she prefers drowning BUT lighting fires is also a good choice)
she HATES the people who uses the strawberry poundcake body mist excessively. it makes her get a headache and her nose gets all tingly
she likes cooking but she’s impatient and bluntly sucks at it. if she’s cooking at someone’s house they would probably say “what is burning?”
romantic but sucks at being romantic, please help this girl :(
gets her nails painted, or she does them herself. she really likes burgundy and black so she would do those colors :-)
she owns over 10 chokers that look the same but are for different occasions
ok the time you FREAKS have been waiting for
smokes, but only when she’s stressed
NSFW
definitely talks you through it, but more degrading words than anything.
remember that tongue piercing that i said he has in my last blog? yeah, she uses that to arouse you even more whine she’s EATING you out.
slurps ever single drop of cum after she’s done
adores your tits, and also convinced you to get pierced, now they are even more sensitive for her to play and fondle with while you’re fucking her brains out, or the opposite, while she has her strap on, she loves to see them bounce around, usually letting you get on top of her.
when she’s doming, she is mostly gentle, but she will continue to get rougher and rougher. if she hasn’t made you a crying, whimpering, and shaking mess than she hasn’t done her job correctly.
her favorite position is definitely doggystyle or missionary while she’s doming you
she LOVES shower sex. like completely adores it.
she definitely owns a 8 inch black strap and dicks you DOWNNNNN with it. can’t prove me other wise…
now while your doming HER, she could be a blushing, squirming mess,
you’re even more of a brat while your doming her and it pisses her off SO much…
you grab her choker while your rubbing your clit against hers
while you’re eating your DELICIOUS meal (her punani) you occasionally stick a few fingers in, 4 max and it makes her go INSANE. makes her cum instantly all over your face
when she’s giving you the MEANEST most DEEP backshots, she likes to pull your hair and smack your ass. a little too much but it’s ok because it’s se-mi :-)
#se mi x reader#squid game 2#se mi squid game#squid game smut#squid game x y/n#se mi smut#lesbian#lgbtqia#player 380#se mi
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you appear to draw isaac and gerard as being very physically close. cuddly even (:3c), and i want to learn more about this specific aspect because its so cute.. were they always like that? did they have to build up a lot of trust in each other first? how do they see and engage with touch? are/were they ever touch starved?
Drawing a made for the ask lalalala
First of all, thanks for the question! <3
In Gerard's case he used to touch Isaac's hands for example or shoulders to basically indicate he was safe with him and also try to communicate he wanted something more than a friendship with him when they were starting to know each other. I feel like even tho Gerard doesn't consider he's romantic himself in a traditional way i feel he actually is-- (Like when Susana Gimenez asked Charly Garcia if he was romantic and he said yes and Susana asked him "really? You like a dinner, with roses and candles??" And he said "i said im romantic, not stupid" lmao) He calls bitch pet names and cute things even tho she's always abusive towards him, he still tries, so imagine how much freedom could he have with someone like Isaac, a guy that has an anxious attachedment style. I feel he is the way he is in the game as a way of self defense, a way for him to cope with all the shit he has to go through all the time xD so he can't show much emotion or tries to hide it with humor, but in Isaac's world, this paradise isn't so bad, it's more,,, realistic. He doesn't have the constant need to hide his needs in a relationship like he used to (Well, only in private since ... its the 90s-2000s, duh). Gerard started to be more expressive with his physical touch towards Isaac as went time on, cuz of isaac's delusions of people being infected or sinful (this last one mostly because of his alters, for example, Demon) and also so Isaac could have time to process his own feelings, being someone who tries/tried to be a devoted christian this relationship felt wrong in all senses, it took him some time to accept he indeed liked him. Isaac isn't someone who would be nagging you on the streets is he saw you in, for example, a gay relationship, he's ignorant mostly, he doesn't have evil intentions (he also uses this ignorant/innocent view as a way to cope with his own emotions towards man).
While in Isaac's case, once he accepted it/half accepted it started to do your typical couple stuff, only in private, he gets mad when Gerard holds his hand on public and even tho this bothers Gerard a little bit he just can't complain, he understands but also well... his wife was much worst than this. Isaac feels safe cuddling with him, he feels like nothing wrong can happend when he's around (even tho Gerard's bad luck follows him everywhere lol), sometimes when he's having strong episodes because of his delusion it feels like he and him are the only non infected. Isaac has BPD so touch and words mean a lot to him even tho he isn't the best showing his love in a conventional way + he's non verbal for most of the time, it's like they both have two different types of autism lol
I think that's all i have to say about this at least for now, i'm still working on the ship but these types of questions really help me to understand and think of ways to improve it, thanks a lot for the question once again, i'm glad people are interested in knowing about my au/ship.
The song i used as lyrics for the drawing (i love this Tribute so much, please go check it out):
youtube
#my art#fanart#digital art#small artist#tumblr artists#postal#postal 1997#postal 2#postal 1#postal fanart#postal art#postal 1 dude#postal 2 dude#postal dude#p1#p2#p1 x p2#dudecest#art#illustration#old man yaoi#rws#postal hc#p12#hc
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When I first watched ST, Mike’s, “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” immediately struck me as him projecting. Like anyone, I’ve read a lot of analysis and I’ve seen a lot of takes, but let me explain mine.
In my opinion, until s4, there’s more evidence to support the idea that MIKE is the one who doesn’t like girls, rather than Will. He only has 3 close (guy) friends. He never remarks on girls he finds pretty, he shows zero interest in any girl but El (which I honestly think is just him trying to hold on to a veneer of heterosexuality). In s2, Will, Lucas, and Dustin wants to be friends with Max- it’s Mike who dislikes her.
I think Mike and Will have always had a different kind of friendship. Even if they don’t have the right words for it, it’s kind of like the codependent homoerotic teenage friendships people make memes about. I mean, honestly, Mike won’t properly apologize to his own girlfriend but he runs with his tail between his legs to apologize to his ‘best friend’. Mike has always known he was Different, but he didn’t have the support system Will has, or the time to try and figure it out.
In s3, Mike is going headfirst into his relationship with El. He’s copying everyone around him and doing what he thinks he should do, which (imo) is why he spends SO much time making out with El (living up to the red blooded American male fantasy) than establishing a genuine relationship with her. Something about it is Off, but I don’t know if he’s even admitted that to himself. And Will made him stop (with the “day without girls”). Will made him hang out with him, and Will made Something Happen.
They’ve always had Something between them, but verbalizing it is too dangerous in a town like Hawkins in the 80s. They just knew that they were… different. Best friends in a way Lucas and Dustin weren’t. But Mike crossed the line during the fight (“it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”) and after he says it, you can see him pull back. He felt guilty and weird and he didn’t know why, and he felt defensive and felt like he was backed into a corner so he said it. Will was being earnest and honest in a way he wasn’t ready for- but he doesn’t know that. He just knows that he felt sick and needed Will to stop. So he blamed Will. Because it’s Will’s being weird, right? Will is the one who’s making him feel weird, because HE’S the one being weird about it.
“It’s not MY fault YOU don’t like girls!” As much as we like to joke about it (Mike accusing Will of being gay whenever they argue) a lot of byler fights make a lot of sense in this vein, and I think it’s a really interesting insight into his character imo. Will is being honest and genuine in a way Mike isn’t ready for. Pushing Will away and attacking him in such a vitriolic ways really ensures that Mike’s masculinity is protected while Will is shamed (in Mike’s mind, at least.) The Byers moved to Cali so soon that the events of the rain fight were never truly discussed.
Mike REALLY hurt Will and I think that’s why he didn’t reach out- because he didn’t know what to say. He avoided his feelings and thinking about Will as much as possible and wrote El letters. But seeing Will at the airport changed something. He’s taller. He’s grown. He’s confident now (I’ll get back to that later). And when he sees him, Mike’s stomach does something it’s never done before. And he doesn’t know why. But despite that, he goes to hug his girlfriend. He doesn’t hug Will.
I firmly believe that Mike is gay (again, imo. Bi Mike people, ily, I love ur analysis, ur cool asf, this is just my opinion). I don’t think he’s ever felt a genuine attraction to El. He’s mimicking his parents and his friends and comics and fairytales- he will be her knight in shining armor, her Superman. With El, it’s friendship and the anxiety of a facade, but he mistakes it for the butterflies of a crush. With Will, it’s the only time he feels something REAL. I just don’t think he’s used to feeling genuine feelings, especially powerful feelings (let’s not forget he’s a teenager, the hormones are RAGING) and while he likes it (even though he has trouble admitting it… I think he gets better as s4 goes on though) it’s overwhelming and scary. I think he interprets those feelings as some kind of threat (especially considering that he’s been bullied before) or at least, he subconsciously does.
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I feel I must preface my own feelings on iskal and his video
What the fuck does the witch hunts have to do with him sexting adults that work for him. Must elaborate he’s using an actual real life event about women who were killed in a number of ways for being alleged witches, they were burnt for being able to read or being good at anything other that cooking and birthing children, they were killed for being gay or not wanting to have children. What does any of this have to do with cancel culture. The answer it does not, he used it to sound smart and to garner sympathy or more people to support him but it does not make sense to use the witch hunts if he himself is not a witch or being hunted, if anything he should have used an analogy of being exiled for being a creepy guy going after other people in a modern setting, I in no way support iskal I just feel as if he could have used a better analogy that matched what had been happening considering he has already in a round about way admitted he had done what he’s being shunned for, by using the analogy of the witch hunts to appear innocent or invoke an idea that he’s innocent by using a pre modern event that happened in the real world that has nothing to do with him sexting employees.
And his dig at hermitcraft and the hermits felt off, cause you really can’t blame them for wanting to know what happened like how would you feel if someone you considered a friend had been discovered to be a bit weird by information that had been brought to you and when you ask that friend their side in a meeting with other people who also know what’s happening and also want the truth, just for said friend to turn around and say no and I quit. Feels a bit off, plus people who are stating that his friends left him have left out the detail where he left on his own accord, even tho it was stated that they would remove them. Likely both self protection and protecting their community, that is mostly children and young people.
Don’t send hate to either party this is just my view of it from an outside perspective, I do know I will likely get flack for pointing out how I view it but maybe it will help to shape the sort of people I’d rather have around me cause in truth his video in no way went against the allegations made against him (I am aware he likely could not speak on it tho he could have waited until the investigation was over like other content creators did) it felt like he wasn’t taking it very seriously especially with blowing up the diorite at the end. It felt a bit narcissistic as well following of the tweet that wels made, it makes sense having known actually narcissistic people in the past and how they treat these sorts of things.
Regardless if what he did was not illegal per say, it does not make it any less creepy (if he did it that is) take for example where I’m from in the uk it’s not illegal for an older man to film young girls, boys or anything in between, but this makes it no less creepy right. I believe as a community we should wait and see what else is said and done regarding this situation, I.e waiting for the investigation to conclude and for all information to come forward before making an informed decision on what has and hasn’t happened.
That’s all I have to say really, if I’ve missed anything let me know so I can fixed this post to include those details, and under absolutely no circumstances do we throw hate at any individual involved you can chose not to watch a persons content based on your own convictions and not be hateful.
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it’s actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they weren’t of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time
#rambling#i think about this a lot#you could brush charles’ off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime#but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him would’ve happened if he was white? doubtful#as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated#by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them#to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isn’t one of us he’s one of Them.#and as such what happened to him would’ve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like ‘he got in our way’ or ‘he#made a fool out of us’ or whatever else. even if those boys didn’t fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions#it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period#anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not#remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockey’s narrative choices#so props to him. man’s got balls#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edit: I will say that I don’t think the boys in edwin’s case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers#because I can’t imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself#it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because he’s visibly effeminate and easily clickable#and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I don’t really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation#(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#I’ll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that#got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasn’t based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didn’t intend on killing anyone or#think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charles’ killers who definitely had to have thought he#could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me#someone killed him on purpose. that’s murder#the demon probably didn’t give a shit about this human teenager’s sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification
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sketches from @mipexch 's whiteboard a couple days ago!!
also feat. a very small reference to @onlineviolence :]
#peridots-art#bugs#bots#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#swordsmachine ultrakill#bugzapper ultrakill#minos prime ultrakill#v2 ultrakill#plus the rest of the fumos but those weren't done by me. someone was drawing v1 so i put a v2 beside them and came back later to like 5 mor#hence why they are out of frame. anyway this was a LOT of fun I lost track of time and stayed up till dawn even#there were so many cool and/or recognized artists.... i keep checking the ultrakill tag to see if anyone else posts their own sketches#it was posted at like 2am my time though so i didn't get to stay very long.... i checked in today on the fumo drawings and there was#just so much new art over there and in general. so many people doodling and having fun and complimenting each other and bonding over#the things we all like. im gonna cry#anyway. i think this is the longest period of non-posting (not inactivity. lol) on tumblr i've ever had#so might've forgot some tags. also i think i'll use alt text for multiple images and regular id for 1-2#edit also i wrote 'today' in the tags up there but it was in fact two days ago. regardless#ALSO. sorry if the alt text is hard to read or anything. never used it before + penchant for lengthy descriptions#can you tell i'm really proud of the beetle gabe btw. men will see a character say 'anyone gonna buggify that?' and not wait for an answer#WAIT i've already made that joke haven't i. whatever turn your blorbo into an insect or some sort of gay bug today#peridots-described
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that
#mostly i've just seen like “how dare you ask questions you just want an excuse to murder you're sealioning ect”#or worse some vague and wildly improbable nonsense about like. fake robot animals covered in beyond meat or something equally convoluted#which is a thing i did see someone suggest as a serious answer#i mean i already know they think i'm a genetically inferior hateful vampire that should starve to death for the greater good#because my exact combination of health conditions make meat basically the only semi-safe way i can get close to enough nutrients#i know this because they have repeatedly told me that i'm either evil or should be sacrificed or both#and yelled at me for asking questions by bringing up the whole disabled thing and then they're like#“a lot of vegans i know are advocates for disability!” as if that ever means jack shit in the society that results from anything#no matter what you do a vast majority of people in any given society will *not* be advocates for the disabled. i'm sorry they just won't.#and what do you think public perception of people who physically can't survive like that is going to skew towards#in a society founded on the belief that non-vegan diets are evil?#at absolute best we're looking at being a heavily marginalized class generally seen as something like vampires and our existences taboo.#(as if these type's own insistence that they should be allowed to harass and shame people doesn't disprove their assertion that we won't be#thinking it could possibly go any better than that is a fucking fairy tale. human nature doesn't work that way.#you simply cannot eliminate the human desire to designate and abuse a class of have-nots. the absolute best you can do is mitigate damage.#take it from someone who's been multiple kinds of disabled and chronically ill all my life. people will not “just”. ever.#i get this even from people who are otherwise very aware of and VERY GOOD at avoiding this sort of thinking#“i'm a disability advocate!” no you are not. you are a poster. my experience has taught me that what people advocate for in their free time#means precisely jack shit for how they will actually act when faced with the situations they make otherwise rational posts about#and the fact of the matter is even if you somehow really are the perfect disability advocate a majority of people WILL NOT BE YOU.#a majority of people in society will be margrat from accounting who clutches her pearls when she sees the gays and thinks autism isnt real#and who has never had a nuanced thought in her life and actively does not want to#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will not be you and your friends who march with wheelchair users and volunteer at the shelte#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will be jenny who starved 8 cats to death on broccoli because she can't be bothered#and who thinks that “carnivores” are actual nazis and don't deserve healthcare because she saw someone say that online.#ALWAYS assume your society will be made up mostly of the worst kind of person it can because it WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE and you can't change it#most people seek the low-effort option. and evil is most often banal and low-effort.#i'm just so fucking tired of every single even vaguely lefty-adjacent political movement simultaneously acting like i don't fucking exist#and at the same time that i need to be sacrificed to achieve Utopia. god. at least conservative whackjobs are upfront and honest about#how they think that i'm a burden on society that needs to be Eugenics'd . rather than trying to morally gaslight me about it.
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WEIRD OLDER QUEERS I LOVE YOUUU
#this is a general statement#but also opened up feeld after like two weeks and immediately matched with this guy* who i immediately thought just had an awesome vibe#(is it bc he reminds me of philip sallon maybe. it’s okay i know my own red flags)#i don’t actually know what pronouns he uses. something to ask tomorrow#they’re also really not that old ftr they’re in their forties it’s just the difference in experience i mean#feel sort of excited abt the idea of pursuing gay sex for the first time in ages they just SO immediately met me at my level and made me#- feel so comfortable#we’ll see what comes of it i have a good feeling but even if it doesn’t work out i feel more optimistic moving forward#just a very nice change of pace to go oh that person looks cool. oh we get to talk. oh they are cool#me & my ex are also gonna do something at some point. i know he wants to it’s just a matter of stupid scheduling#anyway. more to the point. I LOVE SEEING QUEER PEOPLE LIVING & BEING HEALTHY & THEMSELVES#ted talks
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There’s a special kind of ouch that comes from learning that teachers that meant so much to you growing up are homophobic/transphobic
#like dude I trusted you#so much of me was literally crafted by you#I think it’s like a micro dose of the feeling you get when people tell you that god hates you for being gay#except maybe it’s worse actually#because I’m not religious any more but even when I was I never believed god hated me and never believed it when people said it#but you know. the feeling of you made me with your own hands#and then I have to sit here and see you spout this hate#anyway I’m just up in my feels today#it’s such a betrayal every time
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why did a chapter of ruiner somehow solve bsd for me
#its chapter 10 or 11 where chuuya is questioning why he trusts mori#and he says something along the lines of “did i trusts him just because i believed he gave me a purpose?”#and boom i solved everything#every character relationship is based on what characters see the others purpose as#aka: people in the abuse cycle (atsushi q dazai higuchi and most notably kyouka and akutagawa) are told their purpose#and base their lives around that purpose#while characters outside the cycle or who have broken out (kunikida kenji yosano kyouka and sorta dazai) have made their own purposes#(dazai is only sorta since oda gave him a purpose. a better one but still one thats not his own. its why he can still be actively abusive#in this theory/philosophy/idea thing)#anyways im off to go add to my video essay pile#why was the answer so simple#bsd#bsd manga#bsd analysis#bsd anime#bungou stray dogs ranpo#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bungou gay dogs#abuse cycle bsd#bsd abuse cycle#abuse cycle#also yes atsushi is apart of the abuse cycle#the cycle is more of a theme in bsd than a set of characters#which is why i usually include characters like atsushi ranpo chuuya and lucy#its an ideology#trust
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happy bday i can’t draw but i will try to doodle h a cow trick <3
Yippeeee!!! Thank you!!! As long as there's love in it I will be able to tell 💕💕💕💕💕
#i have a lot of affection in my heart for messy doodles and sketches and also seeing art from people who dont do art often#i used to teach painting classes and fob made me study my own art so much and like technical skill is great but theres nothing like raw love#big agree woth that post that says tou love something enough to make bad art and go back to the fundamentals later#so many people have told me 'im not an artist' and im like youve got the heart of one babey making bad art is still making art#people tell me they cant draw a perfect circle or symmeteical and neither can iiiiiii thats the joy of life its not all perfect shapes#assymetry is gay /pos#i just also really love cows outside of the whole uhhhh fob farms thing lol so a normal cow will make me happy too#no pressure at all :3#marco lore#fob farms#birthday#not art
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it’s sooo fucked up that boromir’s last words were “I’ve failed.” literally sooososo fucked up
#lotrposting#it’s interesting how the scene in the movie & specifically what boromir says differs from the book tho#I mean they made it more dramatic for the film obviously but also the speech in which he essentially accepts aragorn as the/his king#while in the book he specifically calls the people of minas tirith his Own people; not aragorn’s#elli rambles#also fun fact I watched the fellowship of the ring with my brother a few days ago#and after boromir’s death scene my brother (who normally thinks shipping is stupid and I always try to make everything gay)#said ‘okay yeah I ship them now’#and he seemed pretty serious? so gay win 🌈💖 (getting my brother who is occasionally homophobic by accident (often either bc he wants to#annoy me or just by virtue of being a thirteen year old cishet boy)) to ship two guys#anyway. I’m not even especially fond of the lad (he’s. fine. shrug. good for showing the power & danger of the ring even on good people)#but this is soo evil to me. he redeemed himself through fighting for merry & pippin (or at least if you see it like that) but his last#thought was that he’d died in dishonour and as a failure#he couldn’t withstand the power of the ring and couldn’t return to protect his home#also aragorn choosing to keep boromir’s betrayal a secret so that it wouldn’t tarnish gimli and legolas’s memory of him…#tolkien
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ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni
#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed#hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty#and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait#and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY#ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU.#IM REALLY FUCKING MAD#I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE.#the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same#so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP#like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself#did u see me insulting u to ur face#nope i have not done even once#and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes#like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that#i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same#if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong.#but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me#and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid#some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes#and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once.#okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one#pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off#and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay#this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that#if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT.#if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul#have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!!#i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!!#i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related.#you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself
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