#i wasnt even tagged im just starting it because this is my favourite day of the whole fandom week

[welcometololaland]

INSPIRATION SUNDAY

(back on my ALTA bullshit and here's some treats for chapter 10 - I kind of wanted to include the real weapon in this scene but it was a bit of a TW so instead have this for drama):

HURT!TK!

Austin Bergstrom Airport!

Cherry...tomatoes? (organic only)

A storage cage! That's not ominous at all!

Tagging the following to give me their most unhinged shit: @goodways @iboatedhere (mole rat has set the bar high) @rmd-writes @reyescarlos @celeritas2997 @strandnreyes @heartstringsduet @basilsunrise @ramblingdisaster73 @tailoredshirt @reyesstrand @liminalmemories21 @lightningboltreader and anyone else who is interested!

[cerealmonster15]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

ty for the tag @unpredictable-probabilities! I don't usually do tag things but I'm feeling an exception today and I want to ramble lol let's GO!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Right now, 51! I think i started using ao3 back in college with rvb fic lol. I've since orphaned 2 fics so I guess there wouldve been 53.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

86,956

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, mostly just Twisted Wonderland (and the occasional dndads, I still have a fic in my brain I kinda wanna write for that). Twst was kinda my comeback to wanting to write fics and has been my main inspiration for a lot of things and it's been the most fun i've had writing fics I think, and it's eventually what's gotten me to try to write my first multi chapter fic.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Slip Ups and Lift Ups (Stardew Valley) 444 Kudos 2. A Fishy Intervention (TWST) 354 Kudos 3. Company (TWST) 249 Kudos 4. Security Cauldron (TWST) 248 Kudos [my first twst fic i think? also has some errors in it teehee oopsie] 5. Because I Care (TWST) 234 Kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!!! I think I didn't used to? Maybe because I felt weird about my own comments changing the comment count and like it was somehow lying lol. but that's silly and i like talking to people and I Need people to Know that i Love Their Comments

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm I do not write much angst, and even when I do it's more hurt/comfort, bc permasads make ME permasad. I think it was my rvb fic "forgotten" - which i always forget was my first fic uploaded to ao3 LOL, back in 2015. ironic that my first wasnt reflective of the tone i usually write for. i don't wanna reread it to check [even tho my fics from back then are WAY shorter] bc im scared to face how i wrote when i was fresh outta hs lol BUT if i remember correctly/based on the summary, it was a doc/donut fic and I think it was about how after doc had disappeared from the future cube or whatever in canon and no one knew he was gone, i wrote a scene of doc getting upset with donut bc Of All People Why Didnt You Notice I Thought I Meant Something To You 😔 kdlsjfkdlsj i think it ended with doc walking off and donut being SAD and idk maybe they broke up, idr if they were 'officially dating' in the context of that fic. but um hashtag docnut for life.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most all of my fics are happy endings with an exception of like one ^ or two lol. I don't know if i can quantify those!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not to my face if I do lol. I don't think enough people know about me to give a shit if i do stuff they dont like

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope!!!! i dont really like smut personally and it's not the kind of genre i have story ideas for.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't think i've ever done that 🤔

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

girl help i cannot choose. um. well first shout out again to rvb's docnut bc u will always be strong and married in my heart. and in dndads im an oakworthy truther til i die BUT for twst. twst beloved twst i am in that pitfall of i like 50000 different ships. jamiazu is the one i write and draw the most LOL and theyre def a top fave HOWEVER. god. treycater alters my brain chemistry. rookvil marriage real. adeuce beloved fool duo for life. im physically restraining myself from mentioning more KLFJDSKLFJS especially when we get into the multiship/poly web bc god we will be here all day. i can and will be enabled but this post is already long enough GOODBYE!!!!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oooh ok well there was a dndads oakworthy thing I started like last year but pretty soon after I started it, we started seeing more of hermies forbidden other 'true' personality traits and i was like ruh roh this guy keeps pulling a fast one on me, i dont think the direction i had with this fic is fitting anymore. i had barely gotten anywhere with it and it wouldve been short anyway, but i think about what couldve been.... lololol and then for TWST umm. Hehe. Teehee even. Back during nanowrimo I used that as time to start 2 fics: kalim and the great relationship rescue, which is my current multichap fic about kalisil and jamiazu, it’s got about 3 chapters, and I’m still writing it. AND IM STILL GOING TO FINISH THAT ONE!!! but the OTHER one I started during that time and have NOT posted any of it yet was the stuff with my first twst oc, Char, and his place in my big caterella multiverse ideas lol. I’ve posted a bit about that story idea and done a lot of doodles and brianstorming for it, but I fear it would be too intimidatingly ambitious to stick to and I’m not sure writing one concrete fic is the right medium for it 🤔 plus I just don’t think many people would like it much LOL it would be very self indulgent and tapping into my soap opera brain. I feel nervous when I talk about it HAHDBFNTG so I’m not sure I could commit. But I still have what I wrote, and maybe I’ll figure out another way to go with it or maybe I’ll just wake up one day and say WHATEVER and write it anyway lol. I’ve gotten shyer again so we’ll see 🧍

16. What are your writing strengths?

umm. i do not know if it is a strength but i feel more light comedy and dialogue come more 'naturally' to me, but i do not know how well i actually can pull it off LOL also shorter, contained stories. Everything I write is a one shot, and I’m struggling on my recent attempt at a multiple chapter fic BDBFFBFNGD

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

hrhrnrngm more descriptive writing, i find im in the pitfalls of writing TOO MUCH dialogue. and i also feel like when i try to do more serious tone things it comes off as cringe or trying too hard kFDKLSHFLDSJ. no one's said that to me but yknow. fear and whatnot. also ending the story is. Hard. I feel like that’s always a weak part of my fics bc I sit there like WELL I WROTE ALL MY IDEAS HOW DO I WRAP THIS UP…. I worry my endings come off kind of half assed but I do my best lol 😔✌️

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

like are you asking if i would do it? or how i feel when it's done in fics i read? i dunno lol. i could maybe do spanish bc ive studied it a lot but i'd get nervous i think.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

on ao3 it was rvb bu teeeechnically back in my neoseeker forums days i was in there writing like, animal crossing or harvest moon or pokemon stuff. it was very bad bc i was like 10 years old LOL

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

ohoho ummmm. Well I always have fun writing jamiazu and I’ve written a LOT of those lol. I have a soft spot for The Comfort of Familiarity. That’s one of the ones hats taken me the longest to write because I was really trying hard to handle it with care, as it was a less light tone than I typically do and I was trying to explore the characters and their situation in a particular way that I really wanted to come across well with who reads it. It was hard, and I’m not sure I fully got there, but ultimately I did like it quite a a bit. on the flipside, one of my more recent fics and I think now my longest oneshot to date, Blue Raspberry Mango was VERY fun to write lol. That one’s a lot more like what I typically write, silly romcom style lmao. Cater and Idia goofing, characters bickering, friendship, me trying to sneak in as many side ships into the background for funsies, jamiazu is there, it was a good time. And that one started as a prompt suggestion which I feel like often times I end up struggling with and not delivering super well… but this one ran away from me and I had a blast lol. Idikei fixed me 😌✌️

Ty for tagging me! Umm. I am too scared to tag other people ���� goodbye jk @officialgleamstar 🫵 You Do It

[sorry if I missed any typos or autocorrect, part of this was on my phone and I always miss SOMETHING lol]

[steelycunt]

ten books 2 know me!

thank for you the tag @pancakehouse @fruity-individual @serethereal @rollercoasterwords !

-> skulduggery pleasant, derek landy.

starting with this one because this WAS my childhood i was. i never read percy jackson never read twilight read [redacted] and it wasnt even good but my dad thought id like these so he bought me the first skulduggery pleasant one day...oh man oh boy...these were. i was eight queuing up outside a whsmith with a schoolbag full of books for the author's booksigning...also he was so nice ta derek x

-> giovanni's room, james baldwin.

cannot get into this too much before i start wailing and biting and stuff but well. giovanni's room is my favourite book of all time i read most of it. last year in june laying on brighton beach while the sun was going down and i have never recovered from and will you bring me home again / yes. i'll bring you home again since and fear i never will. also! first james baldwin book i read who has come to be an author whose writing style i adore and carry in my mind whenever i try to write something myself.

-> young mungo, douglas stuart.

not the first book i ever cried at but. first book i ever experienced disgusting full body sobs while reading and fierce competitor also for. my favourite book. had to reread so much of those final pages because i couldnt concentrate with all the crying and after that i am so excited to never have to experience the physical chest-aching worry that i did for the duration of reading this. also i think the very quiet way love is written here through. very trivial small things is something i loved very much and that has stayed with me!

-> wuthering heights, emily bronte.

read this when i was about eleven, and then again a few weeks ago with my mum (whose favourite book it is) and it was still so. absolutely sickening i just think its excellent xx and without it we wouldn't have kate bush's 1978 single wuthering heights so xx think on that xx

-> the autobiography of malcom x, alex haley.

when i was a child my younger sister joined a sunday league football team and my dad used to give her a tenner every time she scored a goal. to even things out since i refused to get up at the arsecrack of dawn to contract hypothermia on a frozen football pitch, he started giving me books exclusively on malcolm x to read and would give me a tenner every time i finished one. this one was the first i read and was indeed the first book that ever made me cry at the end xx

-> my brilliant friend, elena ferrante.

so many of these are recent reads because it was only jan 2022 that i made a genuine effort to get back into reading for leisure and mbf is no different but well. the way friendship is written here is just unhinged and incredible and the series in general so far has been. there is nothing like it i fear

-> the raven boys, maggie steifvater.

gansey unfortunately.

-> macbeth, william shakespeare.

okay i know i know but. when you are studying it in englit class for your gcse it might as well be a book innit. anyway of all the texts i did for english both at gcse + a level macbeth is still my favourite and probably the most effort i ever put into an english essay. special shoutout to frankenstein which i can enjoy in hindsight but unfortunately it fucked me on the exam so out of bitterness it doesnt get a place here x

-> the secret history, donna tartt.

i did inhale this book but also it gets a place purely for being my first exposure to donna tartt's writing and style in general which is so very distinctive and has. undoubtedly had an effect on me for better or for worse we shall one day see but for now. who can say!

-> foster, claire keegan.

it is a little pamphlet of a book at eighty six pages but. i read it just over a month ago and havent properly stopped thinking about it since it was just everything quiet + mundane + understated that makes my brain start sparking and whirring and. im bringing it on holiday in the summer so i can read it again in the appropriate season xx

tagging. but no pressure. @gaewaren @dykefever @emerqldv @fastasyoucan1999 @forlorngarden @writteninverses @boyjoan !!

[itzynabi]

let’s chit chat [230206] posieve insta live

summary: in which eve spends some time talking to MIDZY

set: 6 february 2023

warnings: none that i can think of

an: gif is mine. feedback and reblogs are much appreciated 💘

“hi guys! its me.”

she waved to the camera

“where am i? at my parents house. i came to visit them and they keep spoiling me. i don't know if it’s because i’m their youngest child, or if it’s because i finished my MCing schedule”

her dad spoke up and said it's the former

“anyways i wanted to come here and just talk to you. i feel like it’s been forever since my last live stream, so here i am.”

jazz hands !!!

comment: how is spanish learning going?

“It’s so hard 😕 but im enjoying it. we should go to spain for the tour so i can show off my skills”

comment: what did you do for your last day as MC?

“i went to watch puss in boots with my team. and we had a mini party after the broadcast. stray kids’ minho oppa came to it. we ate cake and just talked”

comment: favourite part of being MC?

“meeting people. i got to meet my friends and even make new friends which was really nice. and because im so busy a lot of the time, i didn’t have to stress about not seeing my friends because whenever they had comebacks theyd be in my domain”

comment: i’m going to miss you next week saturday

“i’m also going to miss being there. i meant everything i said in my speech, thank you sooooooo much MIDZY for supporting me. when my replacement is announced, i hope you will be mature and send them support as well”

she continued answering questions and just talking with fans

“after this, my dad is going to teach me how to change a car tire.”

she read more questions

“yes! kibum oppa is gonna have a comeback and i wont be able to interview him ☹️ hopefully i can convince them to let me be a special MC”

the way she loved being an MC 🥺

“should i MC whenever i feel like it? just call and ask if i can MC for the day? my dad is shaking his head no”

papa kim: you should rest

she became the poutiest girl

“fine. i will. MIDZY, you see how i’m a good daughter? i listen nicely even though i don’t want to”

comment: what do you want to do this year?

“i want to go on a vacation with the members. i don’t think we’ve ever gone on a real vacation together. we’ve only gone when filming content so i want to go somewhere with them. even if it’s just camping, i think that would be very fun”

after talking with fans and discussing if mint choco was nice (it wasnt) it was time to end the live

“omo! It’s already been fifty minutes. i’m going to go now so my dad can teach me how to change my tire because it looks like the sun is about to start setting. bye, MIDZY. i’ll see you next time!”

tagging: @seolboba // @ateezivy // @ateezjuliet // @cafemilk-tea // @smartgirlsattheparty

©️ kim nabi

[shadows-coffeebeans]

Woo, new ask game time, am excite!

1, 3, 5, 8, 11, 12, 14, 16, 17, 19, 20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 32, 33, 38, 39!

I am so sorry this took forever to answer! I had it all typed out and tumblr refreshed before I could add tags 😭

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

I would say definitely cartoons, my art and friends (mutuals are included >:3)

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

Luca (2021) (I watched this movie over 100 times in the first year, lost count at 30 times and it wasnt even the end of the month it released (it released on the 18th)), Barbie in Rock n' Royals and Lilo & Stitch 💥💥💥

5. what made you start your blog?

I made my original blog to read miraculous fanfiction (never posted on it til like june of 2021, even then i didnt post on it much). I abandoned that blog and made this one cause the embarrassment of it was too much.

8. any reacquiring dreams?

Every December I get a dream where a badly animated Santa's sleigh passes by. There's always people treating it like a ufo, using for clickbait and stuff. I always thought it was like a projection in the sky or something and I always wake up confused.

11. what do you consider to be romance?

Idfk man

12. what’s some good advice you want to share?

If someone isn't harming themselves or others, let them be. (if that counts for anything)

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

Be silly, to express myself‼️💥💥

16. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Stop thinking about what others think of me and also stop failing my classes

17. name 3 things that make you happy

Friends (this includes mutuals as well <3), talking about tffs (and sonic) and drawing :]

19. favourite thing about the day?

I am awake to talk with friends (just assume when I say friends, I'm including my moots)

20. favourite things about the night?

The moon and stars <3

22. say 3 things about someone you love

I love talking about sonic with/to them, when they talk about their interests, when they go on random tangents (<- went more vague because I love too many people to choose)

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

My art improvement: ]

25. fave season and why?

Autumn, I know it's basic, but I just really like it :]

26. fave colour and why?

I cannot escape the purple

28. do you collect anything?

Hm, do the tags of random things I buy count?

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

When someone leaves a comment in the reblogs on my art

32. how many tabs do you have open right now?

248 if you mean on chrome, 3 if you mean apps open (yt music, discord (on call) and notes app (where im writing this))

33. any hobbies?

Drawing, watching cartoons and reading fanfiction

38. fave song at the moment?

The disco cover for I Am All Of Me

39. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

Defunctland, I love having him on in the background when I do stuff

[vriendenboekjes]

i was tagged by @liefdesbriefjes sorry only just realised i hadnt done this....

last song - mirotic by tvxq!

currently watching - right now im watching Not Me (2021) and it's so good besides a certain subplot that i hate. Also watched the boy and the heron this week ^-^ imo the film itself doesn't even know what it wants to do because it keeps throwing all these new characters, plots and themes at you and doesn't stick with anything. And that left me thinking "ok and now what" for the majority of the film. ok this wasnt supposed to be a review but im on a roll now. Also the first half takes so much time to set up the journey. And emotionally speaking that was the most interesting part. but it was also slow as hell. Maybe i don't "get" the movie like others do but i really think it lacked direction.

currently reading - not really majorly in anything but i started in white nights by fyodor dostoyevsky and they can't kill us until they kill us by hanif abdurraqib. also the

current favourites - the lengthening days, bright green, dressing like i would have at 15 years old, the cute stickers i stuck on my (RED!!!) cane, music that makes me want to sing and dance, and the beautiful birds outside my window! ALSO eitje preitje salade van de appie

this was so fun still thanks for tagging me! can't think of anyone but if you were hoping i tagged you I DID 🫵 go do it now and tag me!!!!!

[cometmystic]

hey!! i dont think youve posted abt this yet so… tell me abt your fav characters!!! :D

im about to ramble and expose some weakpoints on the internet so heres a cut !!! im gonna talk about the three that are in the forefront of my mind at the moment !! maybe this will change if you ask me in a months time,,, maybe not !!! mwah thank you for sending me asks sweetie

lots of history with this girl; soo i found out about her during my first mugen phase ? so like 11-13ish,, there was a genre of character that was modeled to play like smash bros characters, and in looking those up, i found one of this weird woman... hong meiling was her name ? she was related to this weird frog girl whose hat was evil and maybe the mcdonalds song girl ? whatever the case i needed to download her. and i couldnt because the download was down. this sent me uo the wall for several years and implanted her name into my brain,, up until i got into touhou proper thanks to you actually !!

so now im learning about the lore and the characters, and turns out theres more to this meiling than being elusive and pretty !!! so this gloomy, scary place behind one of the touhou worlds most significant battles is guarded by this friendly, easygoing redhead ? and shes fiercely loyal and protective of the mansion as well as gensoukyou, despite being employed by people who almost ate the world right up ? thats so wonderful !! shes so cool !!! and she takes care of flowers, and canonically doesnt like dodging bullets and tries catching them instead, and no one has any idea of what she is...!!!! theres so much to her !!! but most of all, the absolute tragedy of some of her mansionmates getting boatloads of development and lore, while shes,, basically in the same place she started in ? even flan did ! but meiling still gets depicted as just lazying about, despite that trait of hers being in favour of working in the scarlet devil mansion, which people fear and dont visit ? or rather used to... so she should have evolved along with it,, so that sadness also makes me even more attached to her in a way !!

i know shes not the most mistreated character in touhou or anything, far from it since shes a th6 girl and those get Everything and everyone sick of them but... idk !! id love to see more of her shine someday ouo

heres some sprite art i made of her

this character is a whisper in the wind. this character is a shadow in the wall of a cave. this character is the tree that falls with no one to hear. this character isnt real. this character is one of my favourites

like shes drenched, positively oozing with lore and content, and its all so utterly relevant and unique that i cant possibly talk about any of it because i cant be bothered to spoiler tag this,, but like,, reading between the lines of the fiction and uncovering lil things about her and what shes like was the most fun ive had during my dngnrnpa phase, to the point that,, here she is still !! at the tippy top !! and because of things youre intimately familiar with russell, you probably know shes probably gonna stay !! im very sentimental like that

and it wasnt even just lore either, her design kind of instantly drew me to her back when i was part of the original animes speculation circle and,, wow suddenly my sonas attire seems a little um,, familiar doesnt it : ...i promise i had other inspiations for ir too óuo;

heres some pixel art i made of her

finally this girl !! much like is the theme here, some lore to my meeting this one !!! this one predates even meiling, since i think i was 9 or 10,, see there was a broadcast channel here called animax, and its responsible for a lot of my taste even nowadays,, from the name you can guess it broadcast all sorts of dubbed anime all day long, most of which i absolutely should not have been watching at that age, like hellsing and gantz oops... well there was this other one which until like 4 years ago i only had the faintest recollection of,, i think there were demons in it or something,, mostly i remember being infatuated by the blonde girl

well 2018 comes around and the memory of this lady shoots straight into my brain in the middle of a call with you russell, which you might remember ! i describe to you what it looks like and tell you that i think a guy kills her and she has him help kill bad guys or else hell kill him right back ? and you, through intense googling, eventually are able to tell me it was called lunar legend tsukihime. woag ! lore unlocked

i wiki crawl for a while out of curiosity and find out that she has a fighting game that kinda rules, and that everyone hates the anime and you should read the visual novel instead and,, hey were making a visual novel at some point huh russell ? maybe i should study up on this tsukihime thing,, apparently its pretty influential,, and

obviously arcueid is ridiculously charming and fun, and every second with her is a mildly exciting, mildly creepy (fun way) delight, and its hard not to absolutely love her for that alone !! but also like,, much like the love for meiling started like a new phase in my life, arcueid did the same thing, in a very wonderful way ? a phase where were both really into this thing and talking about it so often and making so many new ideas about it together,, were playing higurashi currently and it feels like an extension of this, of her, and like,, its so special

i love what meeting arcueid again after 10 years did for me

heres some pixel art i made of her

and if you stuck with me for this long, heres a lil gift !! a lil happy ending for 13 year old me i suppose !!!

i found her after all ouo

[sportsnet]

get to know me (tyler if you didn't know)

thanks @nicohischier for the tag...i guess...

do you make your bed

Like. when i clean my room yeah but i do that maybe once every few weeks so i guess no i do not make my bed. reason? lazy and also why im going to get right back into it the moment im home favourite number?

7 just like every other person bc im boring apparently but also its bc when i was a kid i needed to make a password for a device and my mom told me to do 7 bc her bday is on the 7th so my password was 7777 for YEARS (it is not anymore) and it just stuck what’s your job?

graduating hs in approx...6 days apparently so ig student(which isnt a job but shhh) but only for 6 more days but THEN once august hits im going to be a student once again (college...yay) if you could go back to school, would you?

this really wasnt meant for graduating hs students was it. can you parallel park?

i cant drive :( do you think aliens are real?

yes. and unlike rayleene it IS because i believe that there's a whole civilized society hanging out a few billion light years away. mostly bc i just think that the universe is so big (to put it lightly) that i just refuse to believe that there aren't other sentient lifeforms out there. plus the world is so big and scary and if we are the only ones out in that world then it gives the existence of humans more meaning than i think we need/deserve and then i start freaking out

can you drive a manual car?

still cant drive :( guilty pleasure?

honestly probably fanfiction at this point. multiple times ive considered the idea of seriously stopping consuming it bc i just feel that it takes up so much of my time. time that i could be using to do other stuff that are actually useful to me like sometimes people ask me if i have hobbies and i find that the answer is no? because i spend so much time reading fanfiction so in a way ig it IS my hobby because reading is a hobby its just that people usually mean books but unfortunately telling people my hobby is reading fanfiction violates the social norms of our society so i end up feeling guilty about it tattoos?

dont have any (underage. not that its stopped multiple of my friends lmao) and honestly dont plan on getting any for multiple reasons 1. on a surface level its bc im very very scared of needles 2. on a deeper level its bc im pretty scared of commitment and making irreversible choices and i dont think i genuinely have anything meaningful in my life that i would want to get put on my skin if i want to showcase my interest and love for something id rather just get a poster for it idk favourite colour? purple!! not bc of bts (preview for my answer to the next question) but bc i just think its neat :] favourite type of music? im a kpop fan i will admit ;-; but also i do listen to a lot of pop, rap, and hiphop in general do you like puzzles?

lowkey no bc i get really frustrated if it takes me too long to do something any phobias?

needles and blood. like one time (a few months ago) my school held a blood drive and i decided to do it bc if i did id get a cord for my graduation and also my friend was doing it. when i went i was a little anxious but it wasnt horrible. however, by the time they started checking my iron i was a little more stressed and by the time they finished checking my iron (which involved pricking my finger and getting my blood which i watched and this was my mistake) and told me i was good to go to the donation area i was feeling very anxious and stressed and this is all a long winded backstory to me saying that i fainted the moment i stood up after getting my iron checked before i could even start donating blood

fun fact: still ended up getting the cord because apparently i "tried" favourite childhood sport? i guess at some point i loved tennis as a kid since i begged my mom to play it as a kid. this didnt turn out well as i ended up hating it after a few years but was forced to continue by my mom to the point that i would get like stress stomach aches bc of how much i didnt want to do it and when i was finally allowed to stop i ended up hating tennis so much that to this day i refuse to watch it do you talk to yourself?

only in my sleep apparently lol tea or coffee? iced coffee >>>>> first thing you wanted to be when growing up?

when i was in middle school they asked my health class this question and my response was "something that would let me stay at home and do what i want with my time." obviously my 11 year old classmates took this as a sign that i wanted to be a stay at home parent (do not want kids but thats another story) and started teasing me for it however, now as im older i still think baby tyler was so fucking valid and lowkey i think a lot of those once upon a time 11 year olds would also agree with me now what movies do you adore?

How to train your dragon and Ferris Bueller's Day Off are two that i think of right away

[obeiii-mee]

Hi there! Im back, tysm for doing my HC ;;/ it was super cute, i really liked Mammons and Satans!! If you dont mind if i ask for another? Hdjsks Recently, i slipped while walking home with some pals and scrapped my knee. It wasnt too bad, but it sure looked bad lmao If you can could you do HCs for the boys reacting to MC slipping and scrapping there knee while walking w them? Im sure Mammon would have a heart attack hfjd Tysm!! Keep up the good work♡

Thank you so much! I hope your knee gets better and that it wasn’t too painful! The brothers would all be panicking in their own way but I agree, Mammon would faint or something lmao.

Hope this was OK.

————————————

The Brothers with an MC who fell and scraped their knee:

Lucifer:

-It was a miracle you managed to convince him to come out on a walk with you at all

-The man doesn’t know when to take a break from his work

-He’s more likely to accept if it’s you asking tho, he has an obvious soft spot for you

-The others call him a suck up behind his back because of it

-You were so happy that you managed to pry Lucifer away from his desk, you were basically skipping alongside him

-Long story short, you tripped over your own two feet and fell

-Luckily, your knees and palms were the only things that got a bit scruffy

-Well, actually your right knee looked as if someone tried removing your entire knee cap with a scalpel, skin and all but adrenaline was kicking in and you couldn’t feel much

-You’ve never seen Lucifer freeze the way he did then

-His mind just drew a blank

-You were about to shrug it off and call it a day, get up and continue your walk but daddy Lucifer can’t have that

-He has six younger brothers (and a younger sister at some point) he is pretty experienced when it comes to treating injuries

-You aren’t walking for the rest of the day, let me make this clear

-He will carry you back to the House of Lamentation no matter how much you protest

-In case it wasn’t obvious already, Lucifer gives off massive dad vibes and now he’s bandaging your leg while you’re laying down on his bed

-While the rest of the brothers watch the two of you from behind the door frame because they are all equally worried

-Get ready for the three hour lecture coming your way

-He’s pissed and amused at the same time tbh

-Silly human, falling over like that and hurting themselves

-Lord Diavolo forbid you try to get out of that bed, he will drag you back and make sure you stay there until your knee is better (kinky)

Mammon:

-He was on his merry way to the casino to blow off all of Lucifer’s money and you tagged along solely for the purpose of making sure he didn’t spend all of Lucifer’s money

-You’d both be done for if he did

-But I guess fate really had it out for you on that day since your foot slipped on....something and you tripped

-Both of your knees looked bloody and damaged as hell but you were more irritated than anything

-Mammon on the other hand did a fucking double take and almost passed out

-He screeched his lungs out

-One look at your injured knees and he was ready to drag you all the way to the human realm on foot to find you a doctor

-“MC ARE YOU OK WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SO MUCH BLOO-HOLY SHIT STAY STILL DON’T MOVE! THE GREAT MAMMON WILL FIX THIS...SOMEHOW.”

-It was very dramatic, he cried

-You stood up to prove that you were alright because you thought he was going to have a seizure soon enough

-OK, that helped him calm down a little

-At least now he knew your legs weren’t about to get torn off and you weren’t on the verge of death

-Fuck the casino, you were going home

-Like Lucifer, don’t expect you will walk home by yourself

-He will carry you, a bit embarrassed by his initial freak out but still eyeing your wound, concerned

-As soon as you get home and the other brothers help you out because he’s shit at bandaging, he just sits in his own pool of misery and guilt

-Your poor knees wouldn’t be so jacked up if you hadn’t come along with him today

-He was so determined to make it up to you, he stayed by your bedside like a loyal puppy with a wagging tail (flashback to the animal event)

-Overall, he almost went into cardiac arrest and was too panicked to realise you were fine

-You thought he was smothering and overprotective before? Good luck for the rest of the week

Levi:

-“See, this is why I don’t like going out. There’s always some normie laying on the groun- OH MY LORD DIAVOLO, MC IS THAT YOU?? ARE YOU OK?”

-HIS HENRY ALMOST DIED ON THE NEWLY POLISHED FLOOR OF AN ANIME CONVENTION, HE HAS VERY MIXED EMOTIONS

-You fell knees first and hurt them quiet badly but you could stand, even if the pain made you twitch a little

-This confused Levi because you looked fine even though your knees certainly didn’t

-You told him you felt alright and it wasn’t that big of a deal and he absolutely rolled with it

-But you guys still went home after that

-He said it was because you bled all over your cosplay but that’s just him being a tsundere

-Levi is usually very shy when it comes to physical contact but he firmly insisted that he help you walk home

-I mean, he knows you said you were feeling OK and maybe humans just have a lot of tolerance for injuries like that

-But he still felt it was necessary that he took you home and checked out your injuries

-He kept the mood light while disinfecting you’re wound with some help from Satan by talking about how the convention went

-High low-key relieved seeing you walk around like normal two minutes after that

-He started bitching to you about how you made him miss his the event but he didn’t mean any of it

-“Stupid normie, making me miss my favourite Ruri-chan event. You’re lucky I love you and think you’re cute....did I just say that out loud??”

Satan:

-Oh dear, why would you go out for a walk in the middle of a rainstorm? What were you thinking?

-Actually, it was Satan’s idea

-He may be a demon and the prince of Wrath no less, but he is such a sappy, cheesy bastard at times

-He definitely thinks that walking and kissing in the rain is very romantic (bet he read something like that in an erotica)

-You know what’s not romantic blondie? Slipping on a very small puddle and potentially fracturing your leg

-It was just a scraped knee but you were frustrated enough to be extra

-He’s helping you up before you even have the chance to realise you fell in the first place

-Your knee was looking pretty bad so you guys went home just to avoid any further casualties

-He’s actually chuckling all the way back while you playfully glare at him because how dare he laugh at your misery?

-Date night was ruined but at least he got to take care of you

-He knew your knee must have hurt and he felt bad but he couldn’t help but giggle a bit to himself because your fall was so comical

-Ah but he does enjoy fussing over you for the rest of the night a bit too much

Asmo:

-You thought Mammon was melodramatic?

-Take a look at this fucking guy

-He actually screeches even louder than his brother and probably falls to his knees too (but not really because those pants were expensive)

-His screams definitely got the attention of at least 10 random passerbyers

-He’s actually on the verge of crying

-I mean, can you blame him?? Look at your beautiful knees!! They were ruined

-He felt so bad for you, he actually babied the hell out of you that day

-“Asmo, it’s fine. It’s just a scrap.”

-“A SCRAP, MC IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR KNEE IS ABOUT TO FALL OFF YOUR POOR SKIN-“

-It was just a scrap but Asmo’s secret talent is being extra as fuck

-He totally spilled all the tea to the rest of the brothers when he got home

-And then he ushered you into his room

-Funnily enough, he’s pretty good with injuries. Not as much as Satan and Lucifer but still

-He pampered you for the next few hours but that image of your skin being all grazed like that will forever haunt him

-How can you not be so bothered by it?? He’d die if he was in your place

-I love Asmo just because of how dramatic he is

Beel:

-Your shoelaces were undone and of course that meant a fun little trip to the floor of Hell’s Kitchen

-Beel didn’t notice you fell at first, he was concentrating on his food and assumed you were next to him

-But then he realised that you weren’t and for a moment he thought you disappeared or something

-Before he turned to find you laying on the floor, curled up because life was pain and you were suffering

-“Are you OK? Or are you just tired? Belphie does that a lot when he’s tired.” Or depressed one might say

-But for real, he’s good at identifying serious wounds and less serious wounds since he’s an athlete

-He can tell your knees were bleeding way more than they should have from just a simple scrap

-He slinged you over his shoulder and carried you, calmly, back home, with a burger still in his hand

-He’s actually really collective and talked to you while cleaning up your injury to take your mind off the pain

-He knows humans are a little more fragile than demons so even though he knows it’s not a big deal, he can’t help but worry

-It’s kinda hard falling around him tho because chances are, he will actually catch you even if he happens to hold something

-He’s sad if you’re sad so please don’t cry he will bandage your scraped knee do you want the last bit of his burger to make you feel better?

-Comfort hugs afterwards!

-Which is awesome because Beel gives out best hugs :)

Belphie:

-Ah yes, another beautiful day at RAD

-Walking alongside with your grumpy and sleepy boyfriend when a random demon bumps into you

-Wel not bumps, more like shoves you so hard you fall down and tear the fabric of your pants

-While the dude shrugs it off and speeds away

-You were a bit pissed off because rude

-But Belphie was fucking fuming

-He felt so offended on your part

-I mean, the nerve of him

-He was tired as shit but he wanted to chase after him and throw hands, possibly fill his pillow with rocks and hit him over the head with it

-He forced himself to focus on you first before hunting the moron down

-He was a bit concerned when he didn’t see you come back up after you fell

-Turns out, you scraped your knee pretty horribly and now you were bleeding all over the floor

-He’s even more quiet than usual as he helps you up and half carries you to your next class

-He starts taking care of your knee in the middle of DevilDom history he doesn’t give a flying fuck

-He’s still furious by the time he gets home and most of his brothers know to leave him be when he makes that scary ass face

-No talk to him

-He angy

-“Does your knee still hurt?”

-“A bit but it’s not-“

-“Come nap with me.”

-“Why?”

-“Naps shall cure your pain.”

-“...”

-“Nah but for real come take a nap with me.”

-Next day at school, the dude from yesterday walks by him and Belphie smashes his head against the wall

-Before walking away as if nothing happened

-I stan protective Belphie

These HCs are really bad but I love them anyway

Al~

[jarvis-cockhead]

ok heres a real experience with closed species i had. i followed an artist who had a species which were dogs with bird pelts draped over their bodies, with the wings being functional wings and part of the dogs anatomy. to be honest, thats one of the species ive have seen thats actually interested me, but the simplicity of it is dangerous.

i was a child, maybe 15/16? the creator was an adult. i really loved the idea, but i knew i couldnt directly copy of course. instead i just made a dog character who wore a non functional bird pelt over his body. it doesnt matter that i was inspired by a closed species, that concept is not at all original.

well, the creator found out, and i ended up getting harassed for it. i think they blocked me in the end too, or at least just made me unfollow them, i cant completely remember. not the worst example of small artist being beaten down by large artist (have had a much worse incident unfairly happen to me, its not nice), but that shouldnt matter. i never did use that character for anything at all because i was too scared.

my point is, claiming sole rights over an unoriginal idea is ridiculous. people are always going to be inspired by you, especially kids, and unless theyre straight up tracing and directly copying designs and lore then just leave them be. i dislike the whole concept of closed species but i can just about accept that they exist, but when artists get attacked for doing something vaguely similar? never ok. its literally not worth beating down a random persons confidence just because someone didnt pay you $100 to make a character thats not even that original.

i envy people who dont know anything about the world of expensive closed species

[biblophilic-psycho]

I posted 54 times in 2021

37 posts created (69%)

17 posts reblogged (31%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.5 posts.

I added 187 tags in 2021

#the foxhole court - 27 posts

#neil josten - 26 posts

#andrew minyard - 26 posts

#andriel - 23 posts

#aftg shitpost - 21 posts

#aftg - 20 posts

#andrew x neil - 18 posts

#nora sakavic - 12 posts

#the raven king - 7 posts

#aftg headcanon - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 73 characters

#andrew asking nicky if hes an idiot sandwich makes me cackle like a witch

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

A normal morning in the castle of Elfhame

*shouts are heard coming form Jude and Cardan's room*

Random servant: Another fight this morning? I don't think their union is going to last...

Meanwhile in Jurdan's room

Cardan:*singing very loudly and jumping on the bed* WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

Jude: :*also singing very loudly and on cardans back* WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACEEEEEEE

116 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 21:40:08 GMT

#4

The foxes in a poetry slam:

A/N: Idk why I made this, its stupid but Im tired and bored so here you go

Nicky: Kevin Day, Kevin night. Kevin may, Kevin bite

Kevin: I do not bite

Neil: Shut up, its my turn

Neil: I drew and drew and drew

Andrew: You drew me? Why are you so obsessed

Neil: I didnt-

Dan: He didn't draw Andrew

Nicky: He didn't say draw, he said drew

Allison: DREW IS THE PAST TENSE OF DRAW

Nicky: NO, DREW IS OUR TEAMMATE

Aaron: YOU FOOLS, HE SAID DRU AS IN DRU FROM DESPICABLE ME 3

Neil: Who is Dru-

Allison: YOUR BOYFRIEND

Aaron: HE SAID DRU, NOT DREW ARE YOU DEAF

Kevin: I am very confused, why are we reciting poems, we're athletes not poets

Matt: Shut up, this is entertaining

Andrew: My name isn't Drew, dont call me that or I'll kill you

Coach Wymack: My players are dumber than preschoolers

Betsy: At least they're bonding

Abby: *records the whole thing*

125 notes • Posted 2021-10-30 13:10:02 GMT

#3

Andrew: Say something in a British accent

Neil: *in a perfect british accent* God saved the queen but Philip wasn't as lucky

Andrew, mentally: I didnt know talking about the queen could be so sexy why am i fucking blushing WHY IS NEIL SO HOT AND TALENTED AND SPECIAL, I WASNT PREPARED DOR THIS SHIT WHEN I ASKED HIM YES OR NO-

Andrew, physically: Thats cool ig

168 notes • Posted 2021-11-20 13:44:02 GMT

#2

Its almost 2 am but I just reread aftg and decided to write this:

It's become a tradition for Andrew and Neil to shower together, Neil gently removing Andrew's armbands and Andrew washing Neil's hair. Neil knows to be careful when touching Andrew but Andrew trusts him and places Neil's hands in his.

Andrew steals borrows Neil's clothes because he likes that Neil's scent is all over them. He is an absolute demon when its time to wash his favourite stolen hoodie after wearing it for 2 weeks straight but makes replaces the smell of detergent with Neil by cuddling.

Andrew cannot sleep peacefully without Neil. It's either they fall asleep, their arms wrapped around each other with their limbs entangled or Andrew being the big spoon. When they can't sleep they lay in bed without talking and Andrew traces Neil's scars, feeling him relax under his touch and relishing the fact that out of 7 billion people in the world, there is one special person who feels safe in his arms.

Andrew grabs Neil's hands at quiet, lazy moments when they're alone. He rubs his thumb over Neil's palm. Feeling the calluses and lines. Mapping out the roughness of his skin. Memorising the sleekness of his fingers. Just to remind himself that Neil is there with him, and he's not leaving.

Neil has made a habit of ranting to Andrew about his day, starting from when he left thier apartment to when he got home. Unknown to him, Andrew listens to the daily complaints, even cracking a small smile (by small i mean smaller than than my will to get over the book series)

Andrew wouldn't admit it but he enjoys reading books, mostly literature. Due to this, him and Neik spend some evenings tangled together on their couch with a pile of books over the blanket cocooning them. Andrew reads out loud to Neil knowing that Neil only listens because of the amusing coments he inserts in between lines.

When driving together, Andrew places his hand on Neil's knee which is usually bouncing from unused energy. Neil has told Andrew that using both hands to drive can prevent their deaths but he actually likes that Andrew cares more about him than hitting a school bus and dying. Neil jokingly makes a playlist for when they're stuck in traffic but Andrew enjoys it so much (though he would never say it out loud) that he plays it on repeat, even when they're not driving.

When painting his nails (usually black), Andrew blankly tells Neil to head over and choose a colour. Neil goes for pastel colours just for the fun of it. This becomes a tradition and almost gives Kevin a heart attack when he finds them on the floor of their living room, Andrew painting Neil's nails cotton candy blue on a Friday night. Of course, they are teased by Nicky for having a "bff slumber party" but this soon stops when Andrew nonchalantly grabs a kitchen knife.

207 notes • Posted 2021-11-07 23:25:13 GMT

#1

Drunk Neil: Drew, the floor is lava, carry me *proceeds to try and climb on Andrew's back*

Andrew: Get off me you shithead. You didnt even have a lot to drink, lightweight

Also Andrew:Fucking adorable *gives him a piggyback ride to their room*

228 notes • Posted 2021-10-26 18:58:58 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

[harcove]

I posted 2,164 times in 2021

270 posts created (12%)

1894 posts reblogged (88%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.0 posts.

I added 728 tags in 2021

#jjba - 154 posts

#mine - 145 posts

#jojos bizarre adventure - 99 posts

#jojo's bizarre adventure - 98 posts

#jotaro kujo - 62 posts

#jotaro - 43 posts

#resident evil - 36 posts

#kujo jotaro - 34 posts

#shitpost - 29 posts

#jjba shitpost - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i got 12k points and this clown was spamming thank u at me and liked everyone except me when we died im yall i i wasnt chaired once clown

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

you uh. wouldn't mind an angst request would you haha because I have had this one scenario stuck in my head where leon (probably resi 6 leon) has been drinking a lot more and has been neglecting his s/o and they finally call him out on his shit

anyway ooga booga they fight and decide it's best they give leon his space and take a break and maybe he finds them at a bar he goes to to get wasted to already find them drunk off their ass

Angst is absolutely one of my most favourite things to write and to read like damn I do be out here making myself CRY. So I definitely don't mind angst like hell yeah!

I was gonna end this was a happier note- but uh, I really love angst so I left it semi-open ended but also pretty sad I think. Also not really dialogue-heavy, more like... I write too much detail-heavy :,) Also this isn't edited, I spent days on this cause I was overthinking it and felt it was just not good so oof I'm sorry!

Length: 2k

Request: in the ask

Warnings: angst, drinking, lowkey it's alcoholism on Leon's part, being drunk

Leon x Reader - "I know."

How long had it been since you had held your boyfriend's hand? Since the two of you had really sat together and done something together, fully, completely, involved, and focused on one another. You didn't even remember, which was agonizing to think about.

You had been through so much with Leon. And you knew where his deepest thought lay, but you could never truly know. And it didn't help that over the years the two of you had together, he had started to become more distant. And instead of finding his comfort in your arms, he found it in some glass bottle.

At first, you didn't really protest much, you didn't say much about it. A drink every once in a while couldn't hurt. Yet, it wasn't every once in a while. It was more often than you'd have liked. And he was using it to forget. To focus on anything else but his life and his memories. Your soft words trying to talk to him didn't do much to stop him or dissuade him. He brushed you off more often than not. It tore you up from the inside out that you couldn't help him, that at some point a bottle was his chosen form of comfort over you.

The guilt mixed with sadness, and then with anger. And in the end, those feelings came together and created an explosion between the two of you one night.

Your throat was hoarse as you swallowed as much air as you could. You couldn't exactly remember what the argument stemmed from but you knew it had to be related to him drinking.

"Will you just listen to me?!" You shouted, the words coming out uneven as your throat begged you to stop, "put that shit down Leon, and look at me!"

The man sitting at the aisle in your kitchen put the flask he had down in front of him, but still had his hands on it. He turned his head to look at you, barely even moving at all, and his eyes were looking at you like he was unimpressed or annoyed.

"I'm listening."

You wanted to pull on your hair and scream because he wasn't. He wasn't listening, and he hadn't been, at least not for a while.

"No you aren't, you are not listening to a word I say, you never do!"

He scoffed, turning back to his drink and taking another sip.

"Where am I going on Friday?"

"What?" He looked at you incredulously, completely lost as your voice went from yelling at him to speaking relatively peacefully, but there was no peace in your voice.

"I said, where am I going on Friday, Leon," you repeated with clenched fists, "if you listen to me if you even bother to pay attention to me, you would know the answer. So where am I going on Friday?"

The silence was your answer, as you expected it to be, you just hadn't expected it to be so painful.

"I'm going to visit my family in the town over," your voice was low and tired, and you wanted to cry but you couldn't even find it in you to do that, "I told you that a thousand times Leon I..."

Biting your lip hard, you felt yourself break skin, and the metallic taste of blood invaded your taste buds. You were so angry at him moments before, angry enough you had been yelling. But suddenly you weren't angry anymore. You were just so sad; sad for yourself and sad for him. He wasn't going to listen to you, not right now, that much was clear.

"I've been busy Y/N-" whatever he said was wasted on deaf ears as you drowned them out unintentionally, your eyes trained on the flask he nursed.

For once, you knew you had to let it be. You had to give him space, and give yourself space.

"I'm sleeping in the guest room," you offered lamely after the long silence between the two of you after he had finished whatever he had said. Leon looked up at you, with a look of surprise, and confusion, "we both need space. From each other. I just... Don't stay up drinking all night."

"Y/N-" his words once again fell upon deaf ears, and his fingers just missed your arm as you turned and went upstairs to the room usually used by people like Claire, or Chris, sometimes Sherry.

When morning came, you had gotten up later than usual, Leon was already gone as he usually was early in the morning with his job and everything. Your heart felt heavier as you walked into the empty kitchen and noted the vodka bottle you two had been given as a gift was half empty. Something in you asked if it was all worth it; did it really do so much that he drank more than he should've? Did it take away the feelings of hopelessness, like the one you were currently stuck in?

See the full post

146 notes • Posted 2021-08-27 08:58:46 GMT

#4

Watching SDC and saw this photo of Joseph, Suzi and young Holly and bruh I just wish we could see a better version of it like damn

223 notes • Posted 2021-02-10 05:01:03 GMT

#3

Matching icons for you and a friend :)

243 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 05:15:43 GMT

#2

Leon's dead by daylight voice actor doing an audio clip of him doing Leon's injured noises and then saying "mommy," is something that lives inside my head rent fucking free.

299 notes • Posted 2021-08-28 07:39:33 GMT

#1

See the full post

642 notes • Posted 2021-03-12 05:13:24 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[reineyday]

bnha characters as volleyball players (au headcanons)

i have never in my life played volleyball outside of gym class and the occasional beach jaunt, so this is all based off of what i learned from haikyuu LOL

anyways, this started as tags from this fanart by @syblatortue​ of deku, kacchan, kiri, sero, iida and shouto as vball players, and then it got away from me so if you wanna read 2.9k worth of headcanons about powerhouse athletics high school UA then go ahead and press “read more” :)

deku's the calculating setter like kenma and he fanboys over stats from the international to the national to the high school

kacchan used to make fun of him and look down on him bc he used to think too much on court to move properly, and as a kid kacchan used to think that it was spiking or bust so he always gave deku grief and bullied him over being slow and weak

in middle school kacchan was a starter since first year and eventually became the ace but deku was always second string setter

his athleticism was nothing to write home about but he was just good enough to make the bench

in their middle school tournament their starting setter got injured and deku had to step in to set for a match for the first time ever

powerhouse volleyball high school coach yagi toshinori is watching and he sees all the aborted plans in deku's setting choices

he sees the gutsy sets that miss and the one successful dump he did that threw everyone off-guard (even deku himself), and yagi remembers what it was like to be hungry for volleyball seeing the look in this kid's eyes and he recognizes the brain on him

their team loses there though bc the fact is that deku wasnt athletic enough to do it and kacchan is yelling and deku's crying

but yagi approaches deku (who freaks out bc all might is THE legendary vball player of their country, and the nation was SHOOK when after getting severely injured by a malicious spike in the wrong place he chose to coach high school vball, even if the school was a powerhouse school and also his alma mater lol)

but anyways deku babbles and fanboys even through his tears and says he got into UA but he's not sure he can make the vball team, and yagi says he sees the potential in deku's plays and if he trains hard every. single. day. from now until the tryouts at UA, he might make at least the bench

(cue montage)

kacchan is angry to see deku at tryouts and fuckn RAGING when deku more or less keeps up bc deku got buff since their last high school match

unfortunately for kacchan he is actually the one most familiar with deku's playing since they trained together in middle school too, and he almost pops a blood vessel just thinking it but ever since deku started actually being able to get to the ball in time, vball has been more fun ‘cuz the things deku ends up doing are fucking batshit crazy and his sets are begrudgingly his favourite to hit

deku sets right where kacchan can just hit the ball as violently as he can, and it sounds like a bomb goes off when the spike hits the ground

(kacchan also obviously has the best serves and he mixes it up with the power ones like his ap shots, or floaters when he's strategic; he knows how to read the opposing team and either wait or serve really fast and serves up high to blind them like his flashbomb explosions, and he’s really arrogant about his serves but at least he can back it up as per classic kacchan)

anyways they become a really intimidating duo, apart but especially together, because despite the way deku still occasionally cowers from kacchan’s rage and kacchan is often yelling and antagonizing deku, they can read each other really smoothly on court and they match each other really easily, and they both go for the really gutsy shit no one else would think to try (like samu and tsumu going for the freak quick with samu setting kind of gutsy)

kacchan is also antagonizing af and calls the other team extras lol

but yeah, those two along with renown olympic vball player todoroki enji's son shouto are the three most intimidating first years at UA

enji has a very aggressive playing style and where he targets people on the opposing team specifically to make them sweat, makes them feel like he’s hot on their heels even from the other side of the net, always glaring, always strong

shouto hates it and hates the way his dad made him train day in and day out just because he had a good reaction time and instincts for the ball when he was young

fuyumi and natsuo were slow as kids and got immediately dismissed bc of it bc to enji if they werent athletic enough for the ideal vball playing style as children then theyd never be athletic enough to beat all might’s vball career and metrics in the future

touya was fast enough but he overtrained and strained his knees and then continued straining them to play anyways till they were permanently damaged, and by the time he graduated middle school, his doctor put him on orders to never ever ever do anything that might be overly strenuous for his knees ever again

anyways, shouto plays very cool and detached, like even when he spikes the ball right into your face you’ll feel like he wasn’t looking; he’s a middle blocker like suna, stays calm but uses his whole body

deku eventually convinces him that playing with fire every once in a while, especially when he spikes, can be a good thing because at the end of the day, his dad may have taught him the tricks but it’s shouto himself who’s playing, and so it’s not his dad’s style, it’s his own

also the spikes just aren’t as good or as psychologically effective if shouto’s not 100p IN it when he goes to spike one of deku’s demanding sets

and im gonna say shouto is ambidextrous but more comfortable with his left hand in this volleyball au because shouto’s left side is his fire side, and it’s more parallel to the character to make his more aggressive spiking hand his left one but still have him be able to use his left hand for spikes too (it’s also SO stressful for opponents bc angles)

also yes he does indeed only play with his right hand (his ice side) when he gets into UA, and is initially very hellbent on proving to his father that he can become a pro vball player without being as aggressive as enji on court and without using his more dominant hand, the hand that his dad’s been focusing on whenever they trained at home, the hand he’s spent hours and hours spiking and serving with since he was like five years old

one day deku notices shouto’s writing with his left hand and then connects the dots and sort of badgers him into spiking one of his sets with his left hand too and then yeah shouto tells him his life story and deku manages to emotionally coerce him into being okay with his left-handed spikes

(shouto also feels better about it when deku points out the left-handed angles thing)

so yeah that’s the big three scary first year starters: calculating and gutsy deku, who occasionally makes plays so gutsy he’s at risk of twisting one of his limbs in a very scary way (he’s always bruised in weird ass places from volleyball); raging, aggressive but also cunning kacchan, who is undoubtedly the loudest on any court he’s on, and ambidextrous hot and cold shouto, who does a pretty solid general defense with little holes but has scary aggressive spikes

btw shouto’s got a fanclub and they call him the volleyball prince

also at one point they totally play a practice match against shiketsu and UA loses bc inasa starts antagonizing shouto for being exactly like his father (inasa asked for enji’s autograph after a match once when he was a kid and got rudely blown off) and shouto gets offended and starts targeting inasa and then they get outplayed (it was a close match though ‘cuz both of them couldnt get their heads out of their asses and both their teams were suffering as a result)

alrighty, the other players in that fanart lmao!

kirishimaaaaa my dude my bro, super solid libero, always pumps up the team, and his defense is unbreakable! will receive even the scariest, most powerful spikes and smile cheerfully through it; will always insist that you’re manly for playing with everything you have and never letting fear get in the way of going for it

his middle school had a huge and scary substitute gym teacher who didn’t have mercy and spiked hard right to the faces of the students, and kiri really wanted to run forward to receive the spike and yell about how unfair this teacher was but he froze because the spike seemed unforgiving and if he received it wrong, what if his nose broke? what if he fell and broke something from the impact? mina didnt pause though and she received the spike and told off their substitute teacher and then reported it to their homeroom teacher and it was so manly of her, he promised himself he would never hesitate just bc of a scary spike again

btw mina’s all-around athletic and could probably make it onto the girls vball team but she’s probably on the UA dance team (UA is a powerhouse school for many sports, and theyre famous for their athletics department bc they often hire (former) pro-athletes to teach and coach)

iida comes from a family of sprint runners and he’s the one they trust for the most running; he’s their first year decoy and he’s fast af for such a big guy, and he often also provides extra block support from zooming left and right

also enjoys helping out the managers and corralling his team into being good students; he’d offer to tutor kirishima but kiri seems to have fun trying to be friends with bakugou lol; he makes it known that he’s there if kiri wants some extra patience to go along with his studies though

sero guess blocks so accurately people like to say that he’s got tape coming from his elbows, bringing the ball straight to his arms so that he can block; actually he’s pretty known for having weirdly accurate control bumping the ball back from places other than his hands (esp his elbows though), like he’s just so aware of his body, and he uses everything he can to keep the ball off the ground so he’s good at general defense

some other people i wanna mention:

aizawa’s their supervising teacher and the first year homeroom teacher (he gets to hear bakugou explode both first thing in the morning AND right at the end of the day, oh joy); all might just coaches ‘cuz he does other former pro stuff during class time, so he somehow ended up in charge of the volleyball club after the previous teacher stopped being able to

he never went pro but he’s a black belt mixed martial artist, and he still does those parent-child karate classes with hitoshi (who is now close to black belt and on the demo team, since they’ve been doing this since hitoshi was like five) and eri (who just got her yellow belt! aizawa is soft)

only hizashi, nemuri, oboro and his kids know this but he’s also REALLY good at doing aerial silk and he looks graceful af when he does it

hitoshi started kinda learning aerial silk when hizashi took him to a rock climbing place that had the silks on the ceiling (dont at me, there’s a place EXACTLY like this where i used to live lmao) and found out they offer classes there, and hizashi laughed and said “yknow your dad is pro at those right”

ochako is their first year manager, and when everyone is confused about kacchan continuing to call deku something so mean, she talks about how the nickname is cute and gives off the impression that he’s trying his best and when deku grins and blushes and seems to be happy with it, the whole team starts calling him deku with the same intentions and fondness behind it

every time other people hear UA calling their starting setter “deku” theyre so confused

nejire is the third year manager leaving and she does gymnastics and dance outside of school

mirio is the ace and his thing is that he is very strong and very precise, and he moves like he phases through the other players

tamaki is a middle blocker that can adapt all kinds of playing strategies pretty fast as long as he’s got time to digest them and decent food in his stomach—he’s a great decoy ‘cuz his spikes are hard and he’s pretty fast too, and while he prefers read blocking, there are a few times he guess blocks and it’s accurate af and kinda scary honestly

tamaki and mirio are also pretty fearsome ‘cuz people start off scared of mirio’s power spikes and serves (btw his goal is to spike a million service aces LOL), and then tamaki kind of surprises them ‘cuz he seems to be able to just? do everything??? (and theyre extra surprised bc no doubt he’ll be talking himself down and doubting himself before the match and the opponents will think like “oh good he’s mentally weak” and he kind of is but also holy shit??? we got blocked AGAIN???) and so they sort of only keep a peripheral eye on mirio while they start focusing on tamaki, and then all of a sudden mirio’s not where you thought he was and how’d he get there so fast and there other players in the way??? and then mirio spikes one in

this isn’t really related to anything else but you BET mirio can bend low and do insanely accurate bump receives from pretty close to the ground like! his thighs and knees are legend

we don’t really know any second year bnha students, but i’d like to think their starting team isn’t just first years, so i’d say like… hm or mb tamaki is starting setter (all the stuff about adapting and easily digesting strategies still applies, as well as his flexible skillset, it just now includes setting) and mirio is his ace, but all might puts deku in a lot more than you’d expect a bench player to be subbed in not only ‘cuz it shakes up the other team to see such a meek-looking kid do these gutsy-ass sets, but also bc it’s good for tamaki’s mental health that he feels like he’s got a really great setter right there supporting him as well, even though he knows (objectively) that he can hold the fort on his own

so yeah, id say tamaki and mirio for sure starters (mirio is captain), kirishima’s a starter (he’s always been really good, he just used to get a little scared off in matches sometimes, but since the thing with mina, he’s been really gunning for it, and also conveniently their last really good libero graduated the year before and they didn’t really have a good backup), shouto’s a starter (he’s lowkey mad about it bc it feels like he’s fulfilling his dad’s legacy and he doesnt want to be), and probably two second years, that feels fair

bakugou’s benched bc his temper’s still a little too unwieldy for the court (much to his dismay), sero’s still patching up holes in his defense, and deku could stand to watch other people’s playing styles, but u bet theyre all fearsome af when theyre on court: deku seems to be the only one that seems to be able to bring out shouto’s terrifying spikes for now; after their first qualifiers, rumours fly around the vball circuit about his angry pinch server that’s so mad he’s not a regular, he takes it all out on his serves and rip the team that has to try and receive them

well okay, so bakugou is the only that i can qualify as actually fearsome bc even when he’s being intimidating sero is a pretty chill dude, and deku looks too nice to really be scary so the opponents usually arent scared until he starts playing and then for them it’s just this internal monologue of “what the fuck? what the FUCK???”

and sero, while chill, is the type to be aggressively cheerful and grin really wide after he blocks and gives you, the opponent, really supportive feedback that sort of still offends you but in a way you cant refute because every word he said was nice and his demeanour was nice too and yet? you kinda wanna strangle him??? and then he laughs winsomely and blocks your next spike too (like, “awh i noticed you have a tendency to follow here when xyz happens, but better luck next time right? that’s usually a pretty good play”)

and of COURSE their school banner says “plus ultra”

ANYWAYS i went OFF lmao i can’t believe i really wrote 2.9k of headcanons for this

i have waaaay more ideas about what the rest of the class and other characters are up to in this au that is powerhouse athletics high school UA so if for some reason you got all the way to the end then thank you and please interact if you wanna talk more about it!!!

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[yeoldontknow]

🖊writerly conversation tag

tagged by @j-pping to do this amazing interview/reflections tag. of course she put together one of the most amazing tags ever because she is brilliant. thank you for tagging me angel! 

questions below the cut!

2020

what was the most challenging part of writing this year?

gosh...i think for me the hardest bit was staying both motivated and inspired. a lot of my inspiration comes from being out in the world. im an introvert but i enjoy being out in the city around the noise and the people and the buildings on my own. the majority of my writing used to be done while riding the subway or on a weekend after id gone out somewhere. a lot of my fics are inspired by locations, and experiences within those locations. being inside for the majority of the year made it hard for me to remember how...people interact with or relate to the spaces around them. so i felt like a lot of the time staying inspired was coming from places within just me that felt inauthentic. i think my writing benefits from my ability to see multiple perspectives, so i felt like a lot of dialogue or writing itself was suffering just coming from me alone. it took a lot of work to ensure that it wasnt like that. 

and then, motivation was also so hard. the internet and the news and everything about america, the planet, the everything was unrelenting and draining. we as people were privy to so much trauma this year, to the collapse and fracture of communities, lives, governments. there were several weeks at the end of may and into june where i just...couldnt. i had no energy for anything. it happened again in november after the election and the windfall of it. energetic tensions were so high it just felt so hard to push out words when things were breaking everywhere. like there were more important things i needed to focus on, and healing was one of them.

what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year?

i enjoyed the new community of writers/friends i found by writing for bts again. they challenged me and pushed me to better myself. @jamaisjoons is so inspirational in the way she generates community and encourages relationships between storytellers. doing the summer bucket list pushed me out of my hermit hole for camp nano, and i cranked out molotov cocktail and felt so proud of it. it mattered so much to me because it was the first long thing id written after a period of feeling deceased, and it was so enjoyable because there was a sense of community around it. its easy to forget how essential having a support system in your creative community is.

what piece has left the most impact on you and why?

probably ciperion. words cannot express how proud i am of that story and the direction its going in. i read it back sometimes and i realize that my writing was elevated because of that piece. tbh molotov was responsible for that lift, but ciperion was just a whole other tier. ive also never written anything like that story before and it felt so good exploring the themes of seafaring and pirates. 

what have you learned about yourself through the process of writing in the past year?

that i absolutely am someone who took for granted how inspiring the world is even if i see it as a stressor. but also that writing isnt necessarily about being inspired. its about pushing on when its hard. some of my best pieces came from that kind of push this year. 2020 felt like...a slog through most of it, but i kept pushing myself to write even when i was low and tired. i realized that some of my best writing comes from that push, when its not easy and when its difficult and i have to think harder. thats where i grow. 

how has your writing changed in the past year? how have you grown?

i think im more syntax and detailed focused than i used to be. lately ive been experimenting with making the act of reading feel like pleasure. my favourite books are the ones where i read a sentence, and im moved because it felt nice to read or it felt powerful. the sentence itself had power, not the image it was trying to convey. somehow separate, if that makes sense. theres a lot i need to learn before i could go off comfortably and try to write a book, and this is what ive been trying to master. my attention to detail has grown, and sometimes i think thats a detriment. i think sometimes im too detailed and i dont leave my reader enough power on their own. im still finding that balance, but i think im pleased right now with what im trying to push myself to master.

2021

ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for?

ive had two books in my mind forever. one was originally being written as a fanfic in a different fandom before i stopped and realized its too big and so much more important, and is worth being a book id like to write. if i wrote an opus like this it would actually be a book id submit to publishers but ~

- hundreds of years in the future, society has learned how to cure most diseases. for those we cannot, the sick person can be cryogenically frozen for a period of time until a cure is found. there is, however, a limit to the length of time they are frozen. no one has ever been frozen for over 100 years, and the main character is a scientist embarking on the experiment to do just that. it is, effectively, time travel. the main character is rash, selfish, sarcastic - not a very nice person; invested in their work and science and little else. they freeze themselves and wake up in the future. during their time in rehab they have to confront the horror theyve made of themselves, the horror people have made of the future, learn to be vulnerable. they end up falling in love with another scientist etc etc. theres so much more to this story and the world is enormous. one day ill revisit it

- a fictional play on orpheus in the underworld where a female main character’s brother was sold by their mother to the goddess of the underworld (helena instead of hades) for eternal youth. the gods all live in a hotel (the concept of this main thing is being used in elysian fields but its not remotely the same) after they were removed from the heavens. main character (ophelia) must gather several totems from the gods to prove her worth and survive her trip into the underworld to rescue him. id like to not focus on a woman finding romance, and instead a woman finding herself, her strength, her devotion to family, her power, and connecting with her history.

how do you want to grow in your writing this year?

this year id like to find balance, like i mentioned above, with my need for detail and my trust in my readers. the balance between detail and dialogue. i want to try to condense my writing again so not everything is a goddamn series. the ideas i have are huge and thats great but i need to remember how to parse things again, while still maintaining impact.

what’s one thing you’d wish to see in the fan-writing community this year?

i want more community, in general. as a multi fan, i see pockets in the kpop fandom where it exists and im well and truly aware that its recently become incredibly hard to foster on the exo side. ill just say that. maybe i dont witness it or its happening amongst blogs i havent found or have not found me. i want to see less dialogue about ‘popular blogs,’ whatever that means; less focus on notes; less worries about statistics. i want people to remember that fandom is not about numbers, and the moment you make it about that is the moment you stop having fun. i want less fear from writers regarding sharing work they read and liked, less shame around it. i want to see more vocal communication for the things people like and don’t like, more engagement and more interaction. the concept of popular blogs is so ridiculous to me, because no one has any control over the metrics. no one has control over who follows them or reads their work except the person doing the actual reading. i want people to realize they hold so much power - a person with 10k notes has as much power as a person with 2 notes because sharing is what fosters community. i want this fandom to remember to share again.

name one new thing you want to try doing in your writing this year.

gosh i really love postmodernism in writing. think like mark z danielewski, who plays with the shapes of words or the act of holding a book - the physicality of it. id like to maybe write a choose your own adventure, or do something that encompasses multiple platforms. or even, more importantly, finish as still as sound and time runner. those are more reasonable goals. time runner actually is done, i just need to stop pressuring myself about it and edit it to get it up. asas, too, is largely done i just need to get my ass together. i have so many other ideas no one has ever seen i need to finish what ive started. thats a real goal.

tagging: @yehet-me-up @jamaisjoons @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @luffles424 @yoonia @shadowsremedy @chillingkoo @onherwings @inkedtae @ninibears-erigom @imdifferentshadesofpurple @readyplayerhobi @ditzymax @sugaurora @snackhobi @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @johobi and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if comfortable or you want to!