#i wasn't given no kind of heads-up or anything bro

[bbybearcubbs]

Bro my phone is fucked up and I can barely get anything done on it😭 I'm working on a new one but I need cash first and the freaking ID place won't call me already even tho I did everything weeks ago! I need my ID to apply for jobs😭 AND ALSO tell me why the FUCK everywhere wants 2-3 years of experience for workers! Like dude, what about kids like me who just graduated?? Like where the fuck am I supposed to get that experience??? UGH I'm not even technically an adult yet and adulting is already so fucking hard!

[lazycats-stuff]

Hey, I wanted to ask if you could do a bat!bro who’s Australian? And very aussie, like they go bogan (look it up if you don’t know) when they are mad and every second word is basically just a swear word of some kind (especially c*nt)

Also showing everyone Kath and Kim, it’s a classic and I recommend it to everyone.

Okay, sure thing. I love Aussies, but the spiders and snakes scare me. Also, I looked up Kath and Kim and I think I will watch it. It looks fun. If there are aussies reading this, have fun. Back in my short era lol.

Summary: (Y/N) is Australian. Everyone is done.

Warnings: cursing, aussie behavior, swearing, Kath and Kim showing, mentions of bogan culture

(Y/N) is an interesting person if you ask his family. Bruce and Alfred like his easy going personality, but they absolutely hated his cursing. Absolutely hate his cursing. Alfred wasn't afraid to threaten him with punishment. Bruce just said not in public.

Dick loved the egalitarianism he had for people. He never judged the people and he considered everyone equal. He is also authentic and never changes himself for anyone or anything. At galas, he was himself and so he was in public.

Jason liked his common sense. He thought that people lacked it now a days and he enjoyed it. A new perspective for Jason. He loved his sense of humor and the way he would get mad. It was funny to see his accent thicken up to the point where they can't understand him and the way he goes bogan, made Jason cackle every time.

Tim loved the common sense more than anything and the informality he has. In America, there is a certain level of formality, but with (Y/N)? There was no such thing known as formality. He didn't even know the meaning of the word. And there is something that (Y/N) has called mateship. Tim knew that it was friendship between them all and it made him happy knowing that he loves them so much.

Damian loved (Y/N)'s optimism. It was bigger than Dick's and that's something. Damian couldn't pinpoint it, but it felt nice. And those two are polar opposites. They both grounded each other with their opposite views. But that didn't mean (Y/N) was naive. He knew that it wasn't that easy. And Damian knew that the world wasn't so bad.

But the one thing that annoyed the absolute shit out of everyone was the fact that he showed them Kath and Kim. They loved the show, they have agreed that is a good tv show, but they didn't want to have it shoved down their throats.

" Oh you fucking cunt! "

Bruce looked up from his coffee at the insult. He raised his brows and Alfred sighed in complete disappointment. They looked at one another. What is going to happen? More so, what has happened?

Who pissed him off?

" No cursing! " Alfred yelled back and there were thunderous steps going to the kitchen. Jason was running from (Y/N), ready to get out of the manor. Bruce guessed that he was running to the garage to his motorbikes.

" What happened? " Bruce asked as Jason his behind him. Alfred glared at (Y/N), still mad about the cursing.

" This cunt went into my room! "

Alfred was absolutely fuming at this point. Bruce sighed as Jason used him as a human shield. Did he love his sons? He did. Would he protect them at every given opportunity? Yes. But when they are arguing amongst each other? Nope.

" And why did you go to his room? " Bruce asked, trying to find some middle ground with them both.

" Because he took my shirt! " Jason said and Bruce glanced back at (Y/N). (Y/N)'s eyes widened and Alfred had to grip the counter in order to control himself a little bit. He can't really run anymore so the way to reprimand is going to be throwing stuff.

" I didn't you cunt! I have told you, talk to Dick, you fucking dickhead!" (Y/N) yelled back and Alfred cracked his neck from side to side. Bruce glanced at Alfred and he looked mad at all the swearing that was happening.

" And why would Dick take it?! " Jason asked, peaking his head from behind Bruce.

" Cause he wanted it for a while you stupid cunt! "

Alfred looked up. Somebody is going to die today. Bruce might have a no kill rule, but Alfred didn't share the same code. He wasn't above it.

" Okay, you promise not to chase me if I go talk to him? " Jason asked, looking like a little child.

" Go. " (Y/N) said, seemingly tired from arguing.

Jason booked it out of the kitchen. Alfred took a deep breath, glaring daggers at (Y/N).

" Master (Y/N), you are my grandson, but I won't allow cursing here. " Alfred explained in a neutral voice, but (Y/N) knew that there was a layer or threat underneath it.

" Alfred, it's a necessary thing. " (Y/N) defended himself and Alfred raised a brow, clearly telling him that he wasn't having it. (Y/N) sighed walking over to Alfred, giving him a hug as an apology.

" I'm sorry Alfred, but I can't really help it. It only happens when I get really mad. " (Y/N) mumbled and Alfred just grumbled before giving him a hug too.

" Well, I stil love you none the less. " Alfred said, ruffling up (Y/N)'s hair.

" Hey mate! " (Y/N) said, trying to duck from the hand. " What mate? " Alfred teased with his own accent and Bruce chuckled. (Y/N) gave Bruce a hug too before running off.

And there it was. That aloofness.

" I still don't believe that he is your son. A complete opposite of you. " Alfred noted and Bruce just took a sip of his coffee. Why does this happen to him?

[sweatandwoe]

it's chicken.

zhongli with a cute waitress that keeps letting him have meals for free cause they get to making googly eyes at him for so long they forget to ask for money

you're too good to me @chickenparm

Warnings: Zhongli x GN!Reader, Fluff, Crushes (it's just very cute), a bit of awkward!Zhongli and awkward!reader, and Chef Mao being a bro

-

"How big is his tab?"

You blink, setting down the dishes you were bringing in. It only takes a moment to follow Mao's gaze and find who he was searching for.

Zhongli.

The handsome man from the funeral parlor, who always seemed to be short on mora.

He's facing away, strolling down the street away from Wanmin restaurant, his hair moving slightly in the wind. Both wrists are crossed over his lower back, hanging just above his hips. You look away when he glances back, almost like he knew someone was watching him. The golden eyes were far too pretty.

Slowly you glance at Mao - he's got an odd spark in his eyes and his lips are twitching. Though he's leaning casually against the counter, close to the serving window. The oven is off and now he's going lax and sated with the day coming to a close.

Your fingers twitch, moving to the sink. "It's zero."

"Zero?" There's a tone, near glee when he speaks. Though Mao is shaking his head when you sneak a glance at him, fingers drumming against the stone counter. He gives a low whistle after a moment. "You've got it that bad, huh?"

You turn on the sink, frowning. "Mao-"

"I'm not judging!" He raises both hands, moving over to sling a washcloth over his shoulder. "But he comes in once a week and never pays, you'd think he'd get the hint."

You frown. It's quite known that Zhongli had been paying for most things with money given by that Fatui leader, or putting it on his tab. He could've paid for it with that other man's money, but he always looked a little off-set when he could only give that. A little out of place, uncomfortable.

So you had simply stopped asking. Not really hoping for anything in return, you just got the benefit of being able to see and talk to him once a week. He was always kind, thoughtful and would go on for ages about all sorts of history when you asked him. And the small loss of one meal a week in your wages was well worth his company in your mind.

When Mao nudges you, you give a shrug and then hand him a bowl to dry. "I don't think he feels that way about me, and I... I just want to be his friend, if nothing else."

There's a quiet that settles between you both as you settle into the rhythm. He doesn't ask about it again that night or the next few days, but there's a spark in his eyes and a slight smirk curling on his lips. Pestering him about it brought nothing, only for him to drop the ball.

"I want you to come in late tomorrow."

You peer at him, as he locks up the restaurant and he's faced away from you. "Late?"

He turns, wiping his hands over his thighs and tucking the key away. "Yeah, I want you here for the dinner rush, I'll pay you the same don't worry about it. Xiangling wants to help with waitressing tomorrow, and you know I can't deny her anything."

That was a lie. Not the denial part, he always spoiled his only child, but Xiangling wanting to help wait tables instead of cooking was a lie. She'd always help out at the restaurant, but her father had always trained her to be more on the culinary side of things.

Still, you don't argue in case maybe he did want some father-daughter time. Xiangling wasn't always in Liyue anymore and she had come home two weeks ago. And besides you were getting paid for it.

Your skin just wouldn't stop prickling with anxiety that he had something planned.

The reason became clear when you show up on the day, only to find Xiangling wearing an apron, already helping customers at the main table and counter while Mao is busy serving up food. It's not too busy, surprisingly. But what is a surprise is a small table you can set up in the back alley, looking over the river.

And at who was sitting at it.

You glance at Mao, who peers at you through the serving window with a wide grin. His eyes crinkle when you begin to sputter.

"I am not going-"

"Oh, yes you are. Your duties tonight are to go have fun. You've earned it." He shoos you when you try to move to the kitchen, to the point of closing the door and calling for Xiangling. "Customer for the back table!"

And she appears with her father's smirk on her face and spear in hand - and you can't really say no now. Marched over to the table, where you can see him. He's staring off into the river, both hands on the table, eyes slightly wide. There was a glaze lily between both hands and he looked far more tense than you had ever seen him.

When you approach, he stands so quickly that his legs hit the table and he's using his geo vision to stabilize it before everything on top wobbles into the river."I'm sorry-"

"It's okay-"

You both pause, staring at one another. Xiangling makes a sound that is quickly silenced, but you're sure it was almost a giggle. She's rushing off to deal with the other customers.

And then you're both left alone.

Zhongli still has both hands on the table, leaning over slightly from where he was standing. After a moment, he takes the glaze lily in hand and gives it a fond look, before turning his gaze on you. "I brought this for you."

"You didn't have to." The words slip from your mouth, but you're moving to accept the gift. Your cheeks are warm, and your palms are sweaty against the stem. "It's beautiful."

His lips part, but he glances away and closes his mouth. Whatever he wanted to say, it makes his cheeks go slightly pink. He moves to untuck your chair, and you sit. Once he joins you, you both settle into the most awkward silence you've encountered on any date before.

Date? Was this even a date?

The silence stretches on, and you're almost certain Mao had told Xiangling to not take your drink orders until you were talking. You slowly set the glaze lily in your lap, not wanting to damage the soft flower. Then you glance at him, not looking at you, his fingers drumming slightly against the table. The pink on his cheeks was still there. He almost seemed anxious but that was because he probably wanted to leave. You don't dare to think of what Mao had said to the poor man.

"Zhongli," he glances up at his name and you pause. His eyes were the shame shade of Mora coins, including the slight shine to them. "I don't know what Mao said to you but, you don't have to be here if you don't want to be."

His fingers settle, and then his shoulders sag a bit. "I'm not here because Chef Mao forced my hand."

You blink, and your own cheeks get a little warm. "Oh."

"He was the one to suggest it," he does admit, folding his fingers together. "I realize, while I had been studying history I had forgotten an important aspect to take in."

"What would that be?"

"Culture." He shifts, and his cheeks go a little darker. "Courting, specifically on how to start to engage in it."

Oh.

Oh.

Your body relaxes, a smile twitching on your lips. "You wanted to ask me out?"

"Yes. But I had no clue how to, I've never courted someone before." He admits with ease. His smile is small, and the crow's feet growing under his eyes stand out a little more from it. "Not many have been interested in seeing me romantically. I'm not used to it." One hand reaches across the table. "But I am interested in you."

Your fingers settle across his own, watching as he lets out a small breath at the touch. "That's good to know. Because I am interested." You pause. "In you, I mean."

"I understand." But the same way you find his awkwardness in this endearing, he seems to feel the same way with you. It's easy then to fall into your familiar rhythm, though he asks more questions about you now, leaning in to catch your every word and asking questions. He makes you snort once and he smiles widely at the noise.

Mao watches you both from the back window, before glancing at his daughter. "How long has it been since you sat them?"

She smiles, eyes twinkling. "An hour."

His face splits into a wide grin. "Knew it. You can go ask them for their drinks now." He smiles to himself watching his daughter skip outside, to get the order. Once she's gone, he lets out a breath, eyeing them out the window.

They had better make her the flower girl when they got married. Of course, Mao would be the best man, because he'd have to guide Zhongli through it. But he wouldn't mind.

Seeing his two lonely friends smiling tenderly at one another, eyes full of joy, is far worth the cost of two meals and some of his time.

[satancopilotsmytardis]

For the prompts:

"Keep your eyes on me"?

Pairing: Shigadabi

Rating: E

Contents: Chronic pain/illness, dissociation, (brief) derogatory mentions of sex work, anal sex, anal fingering, BDSM, dom/sub dynamics, aftercare

Sex is possibly the only good thing in his life. Broken body, homeless for years, isolated throughout that time, and not having a hope of getting justice for what was done to him? Yeah, no, after the first time he'd stumbled into a situation that ended up with him losing his virginity when he still felt like his body wasn't even his from how much it changed after his coma, Dabi was hooked. It was the only time when he didn't hurt. Actually, that probably isn't entirely accurate. Because things tend to go like this when he manages to get someone into his bed:

One: Things start heating up. Everything is already at a low level of pain unless he's already high or drunk. 

Two: Get into proper foreplay if there's time for it. Pain starts to spike everywhere that his partner is touching. Pretend it doesn't. Focus on the ways that it can feel good. Suck it up if they're being too rough, it's worth it in the end. 

Three: Actually fucking. Usually the pleasure is starting to outpace the pain at this point, but his nerves still feel like they're going to snap apart. 

Four: Orgasm. Bliss. Everything goes away for ages. He's gone. The only other time he's ever felt this distance from his nerves was in the last few seconds before he lost consciousness as he burned. When the shock that the severity of the burns had caused enough nerve damage to make everything so perfectly numb. 

He's addicted to that time when he can't feel anything at all. So if he's not plotting his revenge, trying to survive, or, now, doing work for the League, Dabi is looking for someone to get off with. The League is not a great place to do that. Compress is gay, but not interested. Magne is interested, but wants a top and Dabi can't float as high when he tops, which doesn't really make it worth it for him. Toga and Mustard, of course, are literal children that he is absolutely not interested in. Spinner is kind of repressed and he has big inexperienced vibes that don't work for him either. Kurogiri is a robot, he's pretty sure, and not of the fuckable variety. Muscular is such a violent, repulsive douchebag that Dabi's pretty sure he'd come away from that encounter with so many staples pulled out he wouldn't even get off. Moonfish, similarly, would probably be more interested in actually eating his skin than he would getting Dabi to a good climax. And Twice is blatantly, and painfully, heterosexual. Which leaves Shigaraki. 

Dabi can't quite get a read on Shigaraki. His initial reaction put him in the same ballpark as Spinner, inexperienced gamer bro who would probably dust him instead of going to bed with him, or nut way too soon to be worth his time if he propositioned him successfully. So Dabi doesn't bother, he just starts to go out whenever he can get away from the League and finds other ways of getting what he needs. Does it quite a lot, but given that it's the only thing that he can do to take away his pain, Dabi doesn't really care what the others think about it. Not until Muscular throws a handful of bills at him to get him on his knees. He burns the money, is about to go further than that before Shigaraki steps in and makes the barbarian fuck off for a while. 

"I'm not thanking you for that, I had it handled." He snarls as he heads upstairs. It has been an awful pain day, the first thing he did today when he woke-- three A.M., tears bleeding from his eyes-- was run to the bathroom to puke. Has been pale and shaky all day, can't even clench his fist without his whole arm shaking, and had had to run off to puke from the agony twice more throughout the course of the day. He needs the relief, but that had been a loud and clear message that says what the rest of the League actually think about him and his antics. He thought that they would just ignore it. He likes to sleep around, so what? But if they're not taking him seriously, if they think he's been prostituting himself this whole time, then he's definitely not going to get taken seriously when they start to do actual villainous shit whenever AFO lets them off their leash. Shigaraki stops, foot on the first step to follow him up, nails in his neck, brow furrowed, frowning at him. 

"...You don't have to thank me. I just wanted to make sure you're alright." He hesitates, "Toga said that you smelled like blood all day." 

Dabi stiffens, which really just makes everything worse, the tensing of his muscles makes his nerves scream, and he needs to get off. "Stapled together, sometimes they bleed. It's not a big deal, Duster." Fine, pivot then. He moves back down a couple of steps so that he's right in Shigaraki's space. At this point, a dusting might actually be the lesser of all evils just to get rid of the pain. "Not a whore fucking around for cash. I just like to have a good time." Lowers his voice, makes his eyes half-lidded as they drag over Shig's body, tilts his head to the side a bit and gives him the slow, lazy smile that has gotten so many other people into his bed. "Something wrong with that?" 

And Duster doesn't go bright red or look like a deer in headlights like Spinner had. Instead he blinks, like Dabi's managed to surprise him, and then his gaze goes a little more calculating. "No, I don't care about that, Dabi. As long as you don't get caught or lead anyone back here, you can do whatever you want."

"Whatever?" Nearly a purr now.

"Dabi," slight warning in his tone. But he hasn't moved an inch to dust him and Shigaraki can't seem to help the way his eyes flick over him before he can stop himself and refocus. 

"What? Thought you liked to have a good time too. Or are you really always just playing your games for the achievements?" Risks reaching out slowly, deliberately, and is allowed to hook a finger in the v of his shirt, moving even closer, until they're barely six inches apart. 

Shigaraki doesn't even blink. "Are you sure this is something you want to do?" 

"I know what I want, Duster." He wants to stop hurting. He needs this to make that happen. "Just a matter of if I'm allowed to have it." 

Duster moves then. Hand catching Dabi by the hip and backing him against the wall of the stairwell. He thinks that should probably worry him, but it just makes him desperate. "What do you want, Dabi?" And his voice is definitely lower, hotter. 

He chances dancing his fingers over Shig's collarbone, up his neck and to the scars scratched into his skin. "I want you to get me off. If you do that, then you can do whatever you want to me short of anything that'll fuck up my seams." 

"'Anything'?" 

He hums in agreement. As long as he gets off, he won't even notice anything else. He'll be too far away. "And once you're finished, you leave. No cuddling, or a smoke, or chatter, we both get off and you let me enjoy my afterglow in peace." 

Duster hesitates for a second. Huh. Didn't take him for the cuddling type really-- but then he says, "I can do that." And he's caging him against the wall, mouth slanting over his. Dabi gives into this readily. He knows how to make a kiss good, how to make things hotter, and he uses every trick in his book to have them both out of breath and making their way upstairs as soon as they part.

One. 

They stumble into his room, Duster kicking his door shut behind him, and Dabi already has his hands in the other man's shirt. His seams are screaming over being made to move as fast as Dabi wants them too, but the sooner they get to the good part, the sooner they'll stop hurting. Clothes get scattered around his room, and when Dabi pulls Shig to the bed, the other man doesn't even hesitate to push Dabi down onto it. He bites his lip. It hurts, but it won't for long. 

Two. 

Shigaraki is definitely not a virgin. He knows exactly how to wrap four fingers around his cock and stroke him, knows how to keep his touch safe even through lust, and is completely undaunted about taking charge and pushing forward. Which is perfect for Dabi. Doesn't even make him get on his knees or anything first. Instead seems more keen on finding every place on Dabi's body that draws out a whine or a moan-- and he doesn't need to know that there's a fifty-fifty chance of those being from pleasure or pain as things get hotter and hotter. 

Three.

By the time Shigaraki's pulling his fingers out of him, Dabi is desperate for it. He was already desperate, his nerves have been on fire all day, but now the added heat of his pleasure is making him burn for it. Moans so loudly he shoves his knuckles between his teeth as Shigaraki sinks a gorgeous, big cock inside of him. He wants to give him time to adjust, but Dabi rocks back immediately, and when he keeps doing it with more little gut-punched sounds of pleasure, Duster starts to fuck him, hard. 

Four. 

No idea how long it takes, but his nerves are screaming. They're going hotter and hotter. Dabi is lost in his own world. He can't survive this. He's going to combust, he's going to fall apart, he's going to--!

Calm. Gone. 

He stays gone all night. Doesn't come out of it until the sun is doing its damndest to come in through the mostly sealed window at the back of the building. And there's no Shigaraki in sight. Fucked him good, tossed the condom, got his clothes and left from what he can tell. And his nerves are back to the constant low-level pain that he can tolerate. He's also got a fresh, but familiar ache in him, but that one he doesn't have any complaints about. It's the best lay he's had in ages and it was definitely also the most effective too. 

So a couple days later when the pain gets bad he goes to Duster again. And Shigaraki doesn't seem to mind. Sends him a million miles away again. And again. And again. Dabi stops having to look for other hookups. He ends up permanently shoving a blanket behind his headboard so that the cheap frame doesn't slam into the wall and alert anyone to what they're up to when he drags Duster into his room in the dead of night. And when he accidentally tears one of his staples biting his knuckles to keep his moans quiet, Shig gets him a ball gag which probably should not feel as sweet or hot as it is. And they keep fucking. All the way to the training camp job. 

After it too, even when everything falls apart. When they're in a shitty two-bedroom apartment safehouse and the rest of the League absolutely knows they've been fucking because they immediately give the two of them one of the rooms. Toga and Magne have the other bedroom.  Compress, Twice, and Spinner are on the shitty couch and air mattresses in the living room. Not sure how long they'll manage to stay here, but it's a place for them to catch their breath temporarily as Kurogiri runs down some cryptic final lead that AFO left for them. 

They're settled for all of a day before Dabi can't wait anymore, pain wracking his body, and he really doesn't think the others will ignore it if he ends up locked in the bathroom puking his brains out if he lets it go any further. Gives up and doesn't hesitate to go over and get into Duster's lap. Shig blinks, but immediately settles his hands against Dabi's hips. 

"Sir," Got a little more into things the longer they've been doing this, and he grinds into his lap, letting him feel how badly he needs it. 

Tomura doesn't protest, wraps a hand around the back of his neck and draws him into a kiss instead. Doesn't make Dabi beg. Just takes him to bed and, he thinks, lets go of the stress and loss that have been pulling at him for the past few weeks now too. 

One. Two. Three. Four. 

Dabi has no idea what time it is when he comes back and stretches out on the bed like a cat. His nerves give the slightest twinge, but it's so mild compared to what he's been dealing with lately, it might as well not have happened. Startles slightly when he finds that Duster is still in bed too, though he's dressed again and has made his half of the bed-- might have tucked Dabi in given the current state of the blankets-- watching him with the slightest frown and furrow in his brow. Oh. Yeah, they are sharing a room now, would have probably been weird and kind of rude to expect him to fuck off like usual. 

Still, he doesn't get that look. "What?" 

"...Do you always get like that after I leave?" 

Dabi frowns too now. "Get like what?" 

"...Unresponsive. I noticed," he says before Dabi can snap at him. "That you seemed to slip away. I just thought it was your subspace. But this was different, Dabi. You were fully dissociated for hours. I couldn't get your attention, you didn't react to anything--" And there's a building worry in Shig's voice. He stops and takes a slow breath. "If I had wanted to hurt you, I could have. If heroes or police showed up here, I don't know if you would have even noticed." 

Dabi wants to snap, wants to argue. But he knows that too. And... at this point, he and Shig may actually be kind of dating. Probably should actually give him an inch of vulnerability if Duster is going to keep giving him miles of relief every time he goes to bed with him. Can't quite meet his eyes when he does though, "...Yeah. Can't help it. Feels so good not to hurt for a little while. Turns everything in my head off." 

There's a long pause. Duster lets out a slow, even breath. "Okay, but Dabi, this is dangerous. Especially with how things are right now." His gut turns into a pit. Is he going to stop sleeping with him? Until they've got somewhere safe to go? The pain will fucking ruin him. And the thought-- the thought of having to give up Shigaraki so he can go back to just finding anonymous one night stands, makes him think that physical pain won't be the only kind that does such a number. "Okay, have you ever tried to pull yourself out?" He shakes his head. "Never let a partner do it." More sure, connecting the dots about why Dabi must always demand his partners leave him alone as soon as they've finished. "Can we try, next time? I would like to have a way to help bring you out of it," his voice a lot softer, gentle as his hand that cups his cheek and runs a thumb carefully along his staples. "I want you to be safe." 

And a couple of months ago he would have set Duster on fire for that. But now-- "...Okay." He gives in without any protest. If it delays Shigaraki telling him that they can't fuck anymore until they have a good hideout, then he'll do whatever he has to. 

 Takes a couple of days for the pain to build again, for them to have the time to actually do anything without being interrupted by the others, and at first everything seems the same. Tomura works him up, makes him feel so good. 

One. Kisses against his lips and trailing down his neck. 

Two. Fingers stroking inside his body and opening him up as his tongue teases his nipples. 

Three. Fucked full of his cock so deep and perfect that there are tears slipping over his cheeks and he's got three of Duster's fingers in his mouth to keep the others from overhearing him. 

Four. Gone--

"Focus, firefly." Confusion through the bliss. Cool hand against his cheek. "Come on, baby. Keep your eyes on me. Stay right here, beautiful. Stay with me." More pleasure in his body. His vision is swimming as he tries to find Tomura. Still over him, still rolling his hips to meet his, hands stroking over his skin that doesn't hurt anymore. Dabi lets out a weak mewl. "That's it, baby. Right here, focus. Do you still hurt?" 

It's so hard. He's never had to focus after cumming like he's being asked to now. But after a second he manages to shake his head. Can't get his tongue to work. 

"That's good. Can you hold on? Keep those eyes on me a little longer?" 

He can try. 

Tomura fucks him for a while longer, pressing kisses to his lips and cheeks, bringing him back into focus any time he starts to drift away. Does that until he's letting out a rougher breath against Dabi's lips as his hips still as he cums. And when he pulls out, he gathers Dabi close and keeps petting at his skin. "There, you're doing such a good job for me. Now, can you give me a little spark, firefly?" He catches Dabi's wrist and brings his hand up. Oh. Dabi focuses, and his quirk dances around his fingers. Doesn't hurt when Tomura's nuzzling in and giving him more kisses and telling him, "Perfect, sweetheart, you did such a good job. We're going to lay down for a little while, alright. I want you to count to sixty, you can do it in your head if you don't want to talk, but every time you get there, I want you to tap your fingers, right here." Dabi puts out the fire on his fingers so that Tomura can rest his hand over his heart as he pulls him in closer. 

Dabi settles against him. One, two, three, four... five. 

He counts and taps, starts to trace the numbers against Tomura's skin eventually, and Tomura presses kisses to his head, strokes his hands along his hair and back. Makes Dabi's nerves keep singing with the aftershocks of his pleasure instead of their usual caterwauling of pain. And he decides that this is better. Would rather be right here, in Tomura's embrace than that endless void where nothing hurts, but nothing feels good either.  

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[desertsfic]

Hi!!! You don't have to respond, but I can NOT stop thinking about the part in rng where Bro puts Dave's sword back in his strife deck and like??? I'd never considered??? That??? Ive been chewing on this for a while, but could you possibly elaborate on it? Like how did you come up with including it and what is the context within the universe?

Hi!

No, I would love to answer, actually. :) I actually think about this kind of thing a lot, and a lot of thoughts led me to writing that moment lol

If you know me you know that I really love working with the mechanics of sylladices! Generally I have been following the (extremely interpretive) rules as best I can, but not all mechanics are explained in detail, so sometimes you just make stuff up!

To start, we don't actually know what kind of fetch modus alpha Dave has, and because of that we can just make up anything we want. I think it actually makes that more fun! :)

but I like to think given the fact that the beta guardians seem to have fetch modi that differ from their kids, that Dave at least might be in possession of the original sylladex that Dirk possesses (techhop modus).

It's also the modus that I gave Bro, since he and Dave have been known to use them in quote unquote "rap battles", and it is the only other rap based human modi I know of (and because he is a Dirk).

Guardians are just made up guys, y'know, so we can say whatever we want about them.

And anyway, since it's the one that Dirk has, it just made sense for alpha Dave to be the previous owner! or at least have been vain enough to have assumed that his kid would want the same decks that he has lol

So we can assume, if they have the same fetch modus, and obviously the same strife abstratus, then Bro would be familiar with it.

So they have the same dex, and they're living in a world where this is a normal thing that people have, and have access to.

And if that wasn't the original intent thats not my problem because it's a fascinating world and I love exploring it.

Also just as a relevant side note I assume pickpockets exist in Homestuck I mean I don't have proof but I assume they do, right, so I assume, using a sylladex as an analog for a purse that can hold you wallet, there are people who are gonna want the stuff in your dex, and surely there are people amongst them who have found workarounds to accessing people's dexes or abstratus.

Bro seems like the kind of person who would be interested in exploiting those workarounds, and I think so in particular after the way he slices through the ABSCOND bar in the early acts, interacting with an abstract object that perhaps previously, in video game logic, we'd assume only the player character can see.

For him personally reaching into somebody else's sylladex, I was specifically thinking about Gamzees miracle modus when I was writing, and the way he just kind of reaches up in there and grabs the thing,

versus the other ways we've seen people interacting with them, from Dad Egbert's wallet (able to hold his car in a captcha card) to Jade and her pictionary fetch modus (which requires a drawing).

I don't remember the exact moment I decided on it, but I just remember thinking about abstrati and 'dices and being like, "wouldn't it be absolutely fucked if someone interacted with your own personal inventory space?" something I'm sure has occured in video games, but I can't think of an exact example off the top of my head (undertale maybe?)

I just imagine it would be extremely uncomfortable, perhaps a bit like a mix of having someone rooting around in your pockets with an extreme personal space violation and maybe even a little bit of head fuckery, since it seems that a deck is (maybe I misremember this) generally only seen by the person to whom it belongs.

It just seemed like the ultimate dick move, enough to leave someone like alpha Dave speechless, and kind of exploring the question "can someone interact with someone else's sylladex and strife deck?" I don't know! But it is fun to think about :)

[tossawary]

,,,,servant to a different king led me down a rabbithole into your forced marriage au and now I’m fucking losing it one both of them. Servant to a different king so far sounds very,,, hey share the weight except SQH has no one to keep him with the sect which sounds so very lonely. Did SQH not try to change YQY and SQQ’s fates while he had the chance to in Freeform mode? Or is this ability to do as he pleases to try and change the world a mew development? Or is this a world where SQH leaves the sect IN SPITE of all the people there who care for him?

Ah, in my opinion, whether or not Airplane Bro had the ability to change anything for Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu is largely up the fanfiction author in question. I believe he can accomplish quite a lot when he puts his mind to it! But it's not unreasonable that he simply had no leeway as a young disiciple or that the System wouldn't allow it. Or that he simply didn't know where to find them or what the timeline was! If he never gave the peak lords exact ages or never specified the year anything happened, I think that it's perfectly realistic that Airplane Bro could have honestly missed all of Qijiu's important beats just by not knowing that they were happening by virtue of not having met them yet. I think Yue Qingyuan is already the head disiciple of Qiong Ding while Shang Qinghua is still an outer disiciple of An Ding, so you could even decide to go with an interpretation where Shang Qinghua is supposed to be younger than Qijiu.

In canon, Airplane Bro just wasn't close with either of them, and that's reasonable. I wouldn't expect him to risk his life or his place at the sect for strangers. It seems that he had a preexisting relationship with Wei Qingwei before his promotion to inner disciple, but even that seems to put them at friendly acquaintances at best. I tend to think of the peak lords in their disciple days as having a "adults put us in the same room together because they think being similar ages automatically makes us friends" thing at the beginning, given how Shang Qinghua's mission with Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge went.

So, yeah, Shang Qinghua just doesn't have any significant relationships at Cang Qiong in the "servant to a different king" AU and the forced marriage AU. Airplane Bro is pretty irreverent about any potential loneliness in canon, honestly. I personally find it pretty interesting just how easily both Airplane Bro and Shen Yuan write off any possibility of romantic or even sexual relationships, out of practicality as much as an apparent lack of partners, and neither of them seem particularly torn up about it until forced to their peculiar breaking points. Shen Yuan at least seems amendable to friends, but I think this absence of deeper relationships is part of why Cucumberplane clicks the way that they do. I think this is why Shen Yuan mistakes the familiarity that exists between them due to their backgrounds for a deeper friendship than they actually have.

I'm maybe getting off track again? My point is that I have written a lot of fluffy Airplane Bro fic where he's forced to care about people, but that's appealing in part to me because he's an asshole! He doesn't really care about other people except Mobei-Jun and sometimes Shen Yuan. In SVSSS canon, I don't think it's unreasonable to label Shang Qinghua as a villain who just so happens to be on Shen Yuan's side sometimes? He and Mobei-Jun could have been a villainous power couple if they had gotten their shit together any earlier! In my AUs where Shang Qinghua ditches Cang Qiong for the Demon Realm earlier, it's kind of a "sorry not sorry" situation. He's quitting before he can be fired or executed. He's making rude gestures on the way out the door. He's probably telling Qijiu the truth about their misunderstanding in front of a crowd in order to cover his escape or maybe because he wants to cause drama. So long, suckers!

[m0e-ru]

hi ive been binging your blog a lot recently. i rlly adore the sheer effort you've given to these dumbass fucking characters that otherwise get such little people even attempting to appreciate or engage with them beyond very shallow depths. as someone who only really got into the p4 games relatively recently (2022. my only remembered experience with the series beforehand was like a couple episodes of the the p4anim years ago and playing p5 in 2016/2017) and kind of being shell-shocked by how characters like marie and teddie and namatame were perceived by the overall fanbase once i started engaging with it more i really appreciate all the writing and analysis and art and other shit you do for them. even the gas station attendant, a character i overlooked initially, i've come to love because of all the time and energy you put into picking them apart like a dead frog in a science class

uh yea idfk i feel generally vindicated by seeing the way you characterize these bitches. especially marie as someone who felt like a lot of her interesting aspects were evaporated by the fandom (somewhat because of p4ga i feel but but still) and wanted to see more silly fanart of her (and shumarie/soumarie/whatecvrer the fuck that wasn't just kind of surface level romance becuz i rlly do love their dynamic w how i see bancho in my head. idiots who dont know how to properly express themselves w one repressing themselves to adopt a likable persona and the other unable to shut the fuck up much to their own detriment. im not gonna get over that fucking "marie makes everyday sunny for him" post ever i think) so uh keep on keeping on and ill continue to like your posts and something

anyway dumb stupid cringe fucking rant over. i apologize if i come off like a loser i dont use this website and idk the general tumblr etiquette. im pretty sure shit like this shouldnt even go here but . dont need to respond to this i just wanted to yell into the void cuz i appreciate this account. rest of this will just be panels of marie and teddie and bancho from some of the p4g anthologies i own that i wanted to share in the off chance that you also dont already own said anthologies n have seen them befor. these r only from the last ID antho and the dengeki one because those r the only 2 i have proper pictures of

hai i read this ages ago and i wanna get back to it by saying youre so awesome possum forever and ever dont worry about your ettiquette because getting 3 essay worthy paragraphs of you talking is basically everyone ive met in the tumblr nation

another thing i remember is that a bestie also loved your offerings esp the last one because those two look so lalala AUAHUAHA okay i should answer this ask properly now that i have the time 🏃🏃🏃🏃

can we give it up for the bingers and blog skimmers !?!?!?! you guys are such an interesting breed i remember trying to do that in 2018 i can already recall the thrill going through my blood im so honored to see people doing that and moreso coming to me to tell me about it WAHAUHAHA 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

this gas station (blog) really is catered to the niche market of all time also because the way my brain is wired to just go in the dustiest nooks and corners of a community and thrive and live there. i AM the bug you see when you lift up the rock . hai . i'll do anything for these poor poor characters being tossed around like hot potato with people who dont bother understanding thing or even try to pick them up at all. also im getting such a kick every time someone tells me i got them into appreciating the attendant or even iznmi more OR in a different way. thats why im here bros . me when i do my JOB !!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

the way fandom handles shipping has always irked me because theres just SO much you can do with two characters than just make them hold hands. what if there was blood invovled, you know . /starts pacing around the room / you know im glad you know the know it's so cool you know /shaking you/ im glad i have a post that's affected you so much like i thought it was just a silly caption at the time and seeing it after 2 or 3 years is like "YEAHH i cooked this " and im glad you brought it to me hehehe

i hope this gas station brings you joy and you keep coming back for more etc etc and please know i really am happy to see you around in whatever branch you show up at 🫡🫡🫡 /explordes

[briliantlymad]

I dunno I just don't like a lot of people insisting that the jedi council didn't hate anakin or hadn't already judged him since they first saw him at age 9. They did nawt want him. And we know for sure that anakin internalized that.

Like. Yall make me feel crazy I feel like I'm remembering star wars wrong cus anakin's opinion of the council wasn't fully unfounded. Like maybe grossly exaggerated? Twisted? (I'm trying to fit the right word) towards the end when palpys decade long manipulation fully manifests but.

They literally thought he was always going to fall. That he wouldn't ever be a good jedi. He wasn't allowed to do anything that wasn't always looked at disapprovingly even if he did something right.

Like.

They looked at a little kid and saw a threat and somehow despite him doing his best throughout his time as a jedi they never seemed to look past that. The whole "they don't trust me" line didn't come outta nowhere. They literally did not trust him. Ever. He didn't get the same treatment as the other knights. Bro didn't even get half the support and double the judgement 💀💀💀

By the time we get to the tail end of clone wars and padmè's pregnancy are we really surprised he didn't tell them the truth? Didn't turn to them for support?

People love to bring up that paragraph about Yoda telling dooku they would've helped that jedi who hid a child from the council but yall are bonkers to say they would've afforded anakin the same liberty.

"Jedi have feelings too" yea so does anakin they never seemed to hold his feelings into consideration tho.

Especially as most of them would've seen that as an affirmation to their opinion that anakin would always have given into his attachements and fallen

Why would he look at the council favorably after the poodoo judgement with ahsoka, their disregard for him as a jedi but also a person with feelings and their disdain and judgement at every turn all the while having a snake whispering in his ear

A huge chunk of the movies was about how anakin, the council and the republic all fucked up in different kinds of ways which allowed palpy to snatch power

Begging everyone to stop acting like anakin's mistrust of the jedi was just in his head.😭😭😭

[invisibleraven]

"You know, (character) reminds me of you a lot" || "Because they're boring?" || "I was going to say because they're a wonderful person"

ship of choice?

Ray loved learning every little thing about Rose. How she liked her coffee to be more cream and sugar than jaca. How she hogged the blankets but generated enough heat that she flung them off her halfway through the night. How she could bench more than him but never demonstrated it unless gym bros couldn't take a hint.

And how she absolutely loved telenovellas.

Rose ate up every show she could find, loving the wacky plot twists even if she guessed them weeks in advance. Loved the dramatic characters and all their foibles. And she got Ray o-maybe not love them-but appreciate them too.

"Wait...wasn't Drake a brain surgeon last week?" Ray asked as they watched Rose's favourite hospital themed show.

"He's multi-faceted," Rose replied.

"I don't think that's how it works mi vida," Ray snarked, pulling her scowl in and erasing it with a kiss. "But I love your optimism."

"Sssh, I think Celeste is going to finally get with Stefano," Rose said, shushing him. But then she looked from Ray to the screen. "You know, Stefano reminds me of you a lot."

Ray snorted at that. Stefano on the show was a decent guy, albeit not very exciting with his accountant job, his love of books, and milquetoast personality. He himself wasn't all that exciting given he did photo shoots for real estate agents, enjoyed evening walks, and preferred staying home to the rock shows Rose adored. "Because they're boring?"

Rose shook her head, framing his face in her hands. "I was going to say because they're a wonderful person."

"Stefano?" Really?"

"Really," Rose said, "He's kind, faithful, and completely devoted to Celeste. Makes her laugh and feel loved more than any of her other partners ever did. He's a good guy and I think she feels lucky every day that she met him."

Ray noted how Rose's gaze never left his, and he knew her words were describing him, not the man gracing their television screen. "Celeste is pretty great too."

"Thanks," she said, giving an exaggerated hair flip. "And oh so humble you know."

"I know," Ray said, pulling Rose further into his arms. "I think they're pretty great together."

"Me too," Rose stated, leaning back, and kissing the hinge of huis jaw.

"But I'm way cuter than Stefano right?" Ray asked jokingly.

Rose laughed at that-not unkindly, but full of mirth. "And you call me humble?" She snorted through another laugh before nuzzling his throat. "You know you're the cutest."

"You're pretty cute too," he whispered into her curls. "And wonderful."

"Well yes," Rose replied, a haughty tone to her voice. "Everyone knows that."

"You think so?" Ray asked. "I think we should totally take out ads or something."

"Oh hush you," Rose said. "Let me enjoy my stories."

Ray grinned, relaxing further into the couch as the drama played out on the screen-with Celeste and Stefano sharing a steamy, fade to black kiss. Good on them-and Ray hoped that even though they were fictional characters, they ended up with a happy ending just like he had wrapped up in his arms.

A love story that was anything but boring.

[gangles-toybox]

More thoughts skim read the Mr. Antolini chapter gonna talk about things I noted.

1: I don't remember him being so young? He's only a bit older than D.B(so maybe like late 20s/early 30s?)

2: obviously most likely exaggerated but Holden says his wife is 60 years older than him. Even if in reality it's a third of that, that's still quite a large age gap. They don't show their affection publicly of course but given what happens later, maybe he is with her *because* she's getting up there and age and *because* she's more vulnerable

3: A few times Holden notes how similar Mr. Antolini and D.B are throughout the chapter:

"He always said things that way. Sometimes it amused mr a lot and sometimes it didn't l. He sort of did it a little bit *too* much I don't mean he wasn't witty or anything--he was--but sometim3s it gets on your nerves when somebody's *always* saying things like 'SO you and Pencey are no longer one.' D.B does it too much sometimes, too."

And, I don't think it's true like at all, but it got me wondering if D.B did similar things to Holden since he makes comparisons between the two. Again I don't think it happened and I'm looking too deep into things, but just something of note.

4: dawggggg why tfffff would Mr. Antolini *keep* drinking when he literally *knew* Holden was coming over?? Like bro called him n everything and my man is still getting drunk and shit man

5: "'Thanks a lot, sir. You and Mrs. Antolini really saved my life tonight'" not only does this quote destroy me because of what happens with Mr. Antolini "admiring" him, but also for Mr. Antolini to hear that and probably realize the impact of it since at this point, he's the closest friend and probably longest lasting friend Holden has, and *still* chooses to pull that shit? Disgusting. Disgusting already obviously, but to know somebody like Holden is so vulnerable and still do that shit? Just urghhh

6: Final thoughts: yea Mr. Antolini still a creep. He did give some solid advice and it's clear he *does* care about Holden but just the word, 'admiring' is just ughhh like if he wasn't being a degenerate there's other words to use because I can understand if he saw him as a son or some shit and was just rubbing his head and looking down at him with a familial love or some shit but just the fact he *said* admiring 1: the word admiring, to me, has a specific romantic connation and 2: just the fact he said it out loud and sees nothing wrong with his actions is...interesting. Plus, if it was familial, why does he want him to stay so badly? Like..I kind of get it in the sense that he's yk 16 doesn't really have much of a place *to* go but..idk just the fact he tells him to get back to bed, presumably so he can keep "admiring" him is just...disgusting and gut wrenching. Plus this added with the fact he conveniently "forgot" to give pajamas and the fact Holden gets unreasonably and unexplainably tired after drinking coffee is just...disgusting. That's the only word for it, really.

[anjumzm]

Midsummer Night

A Legacy of Gods Fanfic

JerCes Daughter x LanMia Son

Chapter 11

Theodore Sokolov King

In my 24 years of life, rarely did I look forward to anything, mainly due to the fact that most of the time I already knew the outcome to a plan set in motion. This was the first time there was anticipation as to how things would turn out, and I was loving every minute of it.

I'd asked the little bird to be here in my office at 9 a.m. sharp today. I'd even sent my driver to pick her up from her brother's place, which I'm sure would have come with some drama, given the scene I'd caused a few days back in the Volkov house. Caleb must have been enraged yet couldn't do anything about it, given that he respected his sister's choices more so than that jerk big brother of hers. Aaron was bound to be a problem to my plan, given that he's a replica of his control freak father, Jeremy. Both of them liked to study everything in detail, and for that reason, there couldn't be any loopholes in my plan. I had to be fast and perfect.

The door opens and in strides ,the little heir, Jasper King, with a playful smile on his face. He started as an intern last week, just as all of us had once.

"Hello, Big Bro. A lovely day, isn't it?"

"Get on with your questions, we both know why you've come here."

His face loses some of its playfulness. "What's going on with you and my cousin Aanya? We both know you're incapable of displaying any emotions, let alone 'love'. Do you expect all of us to believe this bullshit? Why are you messing with Uncle Jer and his family? Trust me, you don't want to be the subject of Grandpa Adrian's wrath, Theo. Stop this idiocy already. It's enough that there are issues between Uncle Jer and Uncle Lan, please don't add fuel to the flames."

"And finally, the little heir starts taking an interest in business, even if it's to advocate for the pretty cousin of his. Look here, Jas, I'll warn you once and only this once. Do not meddle in my matters, just like I don't meddle with yours. Trust me, you won't like the consequences, baby cousin."

"Is that a threat, Big Bro?"

"Threat? Now why would I threaten my favorite brother? Nonsense. If it was a threat, you'd know it."

That's the exact moment the little bird chooses to enter my office. She takes a look around before her eyes meet mine.

And for a moment she falters. As if she's gathering her thoughts, and then shakes her head before turning around to notice Jasper standing there.

"Oh, Jasper, I wasn't expecting you."

"The same could be said about you. This was why Caleb sounded angry on the phone. He personally asked me to escort you back home."

Aanya thinks for a moment, then in that soft and kind voice of hers, she says, "I'll join you in a while, Jasper, if you can wait for me. I just need to discuss something with...him."

Jasper takes a moment before responding. "I'll be waiting outside. Call me once you're done." He makes the "I'm watching you" sign before leaving out the door.

Finally, the little bird and I were alone. At last.

The silence stretched for long before Aanya decided to take a seat. I kept my eyes on her all the while. I loved it when she appeared all unsure, and my gaze on her was truly unsettling her.

"Aanya," I all but whispered her name, as if it was something sacred, intimate. "You know why I've called you here. While you're familiar with my family, this time will be rather different. They'll be observing every little detail to make sure that I haven't manipulated you into this relationship. We need to look and act the part of being a couple madly in love."

Aanya scoffs and adds, "Sure, whatever."

I get up and take the seat in front of Aanya's, then slowly raise her chin with my fingers. "Tell me you love me."

Aanya takes a deep breath before saying, "I love you."

"No, you know it sounds fake even to you. We need to make everyone believe that we mean it when we say that we love each other."

Aanya asks, frustration clear in her voice, "What more do you want me to do? Kiss you, perhaps?"

"Yes, kiss me."

Her eyes widen and her eyebrows rise up. "You're fucking delusional, you know that? What makes you ev-"

What she's about to say is cut short as I pull her chair towards me and slam my lips to her soft, velvety ones.

Good Lord.

She tastes like sin wrapped in innocence, like temptation waiting to happen.

Before I know it, I'm unable to stop myself. For the first time, I'm losing control, and I don't regret it. Not even a bit.

I pull her up from her chair and place her on my lap, hands roaming around her waist. I want to remove every barrier between us. I want to bruise and mark her in a way that declares to everyone around us that she's mine.

I slowly let my hands on her waist go a little upwards, and I brush my knuckles against her breast. That seems to break the spell. She quickly breaks the kiss and jumps out of my lap and my arms.

"What the hell! What's wrong with you? Did you just kiss me?"

"I initiated it. Judging by the way your hands were roaming and exploring, I take it that you enjoyed it. You're welcome."

I can see tears forming. She's on the verge of losing her cool.

"You're the worst person I've ever come across. You might treat people and their feelings like a joke, but they matter to me. Next time, if you try to pull a stunt like today, there will be consequences. I dare you, King."

She takes all her belongings and strides out. I cannot help but smile. Unknowingly, she's given my beast a new toy to obsess over. And I'll be damned if I deprive him of the conquest.

This was only the beginning.

[kayssweetdreams]

Happy Birthday Happy Hour

(Birthday Fic for @shadowqueen402)

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIA!!

Reala scowled from his throne in the Night Dimension as he watched Aria celebrate her birthday in the real world. He could go there any time he desired, but due to the fact that he was...well, Reala, Everyone would pull all the stops to make sure he didn't get anywhere NEAR her.

But he couldn't help himself but gaze at her beauty from his small window to the Waking World. He watched as the maestros put on a special show for her, as well as many different foods from Wonderworld were being served. "Whatcha doin?" A voice tinged with insanity asked. Reala groaned as he saw Jackle leaning over his throne, his cape like body flopping like a wet towel over his throne. "Nothing of your concern JACKLE." Reala spat, pushing his non-existent head a push.

Jackle however, wasn't fazed, as he leaned on the OTHER side of the throne "I see you eyeing that visitor! She looks rather beautiful if I'm being honest!" He cackled. Reala gave a growl "Well look somewhere else. She's MINE." he said, fury in his eyes. "Well I don't see you over there, celebrating WITH her. Why don't you go there and wish her a happy birthday?" He asked with the innocence of a child. "Well, you know what's gonna happen if I go over there. I'll get a big serving of my traitorous sibling kicking my rear to kingdom come..." He stated bitterly.

"Well, I have something that'll take your mind off of it! Here!" Jackle cackled, pulling out a Brown, but fresh apple. "Here! Have some of these...happles." He said. Reala raised an eyebrow. Usually whenever Jackle gave him something, it would end up springing some kind of dangerous result in the end. Why in the Night Dimension would he bring him a Brown apple? "This isn't gonna DO anything to me right? Because if it does, I'm going to throw your cape in a wood chipper." Reala threatened.

Jackle gave his usual crazy smile "Of course not! Cross my Nightmaren heart!" He said, as innocently as possible. However, as Reala took a bite, he didn't notice that Jackle's smile was growing, and he was feeling...odd. the orange maren then began to float closer "So...About that party..." He started as Reala smiled.

Meanwhile, In Wonderworld...

Aria looked in beauty at the snowflake necklace that Iben had gifted her. The party that was held in her honor was going off without a hitch! It was actually a surprise party that Iben and Kaylo had planned together, and had gotten help from Balan to throw it. All of the inhabitants had given Aria wonderful gifts, and Balan and Lance performed a show in her honor, all the while, the Tims had given her birthday cuddles.

"Thank you everyone for the wonderful party!" She cheered, standing up from the throne that the Fort Bros had gifted her. "Of course darling! You had helped us in the past, it wouldn't hurt to return the favor." Lucy said, grabbing one of the snacks that were laid out for the party. A blush graced Aria's cheeks. It had been a while since the great incident of Nightmare Hiccups from Lance, and when the gang traveled to the Night Dimension to find the cure. However, her mind drifted to Reala whenever she thought of it.

"What's wrong Aria? Something on your mind?" Mei asked, placing down her own present. "Erm...Kinda. I was just thinking about Reala..." she admitted. THAT got both Balan and Lance curious, as they hovered over to her "Reala? NiGHTS greatest foe? What exactly is there to know?" Balan asked. "Well...I was kinda hoping he'd be here." Aria said quietly. "WHAT?!?!" NiGHTS, who had been listening in on the conversation, darted down and looked Aria dead in the eyes "Reala is DANGEROUS!! Did you forget what he tried to do?! He trapped you all in false dreams!!" They shouted.

"But...what if he COULD change? What if he was on our side? Could, given the chance." Aria argued, knowing that Reala often acted...Differently around her. NiGHTS was about to make their argument, when they heard the kids trying to wrangle Iben's kids away from a odd looking treat "No No! You guys can't eat those!" Debbie shouts, while Kaylo brings out a couple of mini cakes to lure them away. "Best to keep those kids away, Happy Hour Apples aren't meant for kids Anyway." Balan stated. Aria looked curious "Happy Hour Apples?" She asked.

"Apples that have an alcohol like taste. Minors beware of those apples in their haste. Too many of those would make you rather Tipsy, Why Lance once ate a lot, and danced like a gypsy." Balan said with a chuckle. Lance glared at him "Some things are better left unsaid. Although, some beings cannot get that through their head." He said in a scarily calm voice. Balan gave a booming laugh, until they heard Yuri scream "IT'S REALA!!!"

All the festivities seemed to stop at her yell as a dark portal opened in the air, as Reala flew out...and smacked into a wall. Balan, Lance and NiGHTS then took up defensive positions. "Reala! I don't know why you're here. But if you think you're gonna harm anyone here, you've got another thing coming!" NiGHTS shouted. However, instead of the usual retort, or threat, Reala just smiled and laughed...a rather giddy and carefree laugh.

"Hiya sibs! How ya doin?" Reala slurred, before drunkenly throwing an arm over NiGHTS shoulder. Leo got between the two maren "N-Not another step Reala! O-Or we'll get Balan and Lance!!" He yelled. The red maren looked down at him with a giddy expression "Go ahead and do so if yer brave 'nough. I know who you are, guuurrrl. And try as you may, you can't hide sleep f'rever!" He hiccuped. The fight in NiGHTS seemed to fade out. What had Reala gotten into?

Balan and Lance immediately summoned their magic and got between the two of them. "Is this a trick? Some kind of joke? You must be one sorry bloke." Lance threatened. Reala just giggled and gave a loud "Shhh... Don't tell my cousins this, but I ate these apples and I'm sooooo drunk." He shushed, wiggling his finger on Lance's lips before giggling like crazy again. Balan bit back a laugh "Dear me. Under the influence of Happy Hour Apples I see." He joked, looking down at the...rather silly Reala.

Reala's dazed out eyes then gazed over at Aria, who was looking at him curiously. His smile had gotten bigger as he dizzily floated over to her "You know, Vis'tor, there's this one Nightmaren named Reala. He liiikes yoooouuu. He thinks you're puuurrttty." He slurred out. He then floated over to a nearby table, while snatching a Shirley Temple float from Kaylo (earning a rather peeved "HEY!" from her) as well as a spoon. He then tapped the spoon as best as he could onto the glass "HEY EVERYONE! I'm gonna make a toast now...Heehee! Whysit called a toast when you can't eat it with jam and butter?" He giggled.

The children began to giggle at Reala's antics while he began his toast "I jus' wanna start by sayin...I'm sorry." He blabbed out "I'm Sorry for all that stuff that Wizeman told me to do...He was jus' havin a hissy fit. With his hand claws...He's like a cat, a really angry floating cat." He said. Purrla, Cass and Lance fell to the ground in laughter at his words. "And I also wanna say happy birfday to one of the most beautiful, and smartest, and kindest visitors in the wakin world. An' I wanna wish her a happy birthday." He giggled, raising the stolen glass into the air.

Everyone was fighting laughter at this point. Reala must have eaten a LOT of those apples to get like this. Reala then drunkenly floated over to Aria, and floated right next to her, now holding a plate that was close to him and pulled Aria closer to him "I-If you all 'scuse me, I'm takin' my girl on a ride." He hiccups, using the plate as a steering wheel and "driving" off. All laughter that was being held back officially came out at that point. Reala had officially become The life of the party.

Later on into the party, Balan and Lance had kept slipping the Happy Hour Apples over to Reala to ensure that he didn't...(ahem) Slip into had habits. And all through the party, Reala clung to Reala like a lovesick puppy, drunkenly letting little compliments of Aria out of his Tipsy mouth. By the time the party finally ended, Reala had to be dragged back to the Night Dimension by a Dying of Laughter NiGHTS...

But not without Aria slipping him one little kiss near his cheek. "Sweet Dreams Reala." She said, much to Reala's joy, as he shouted "I WAS KISSED BY AN ANGEL!!"

(Aria and the Happy Hour Apples belong to @shadowqueen402

Mei belongs to @sundove88

Rebecca belongs to @thehypercutstudios/@thehyperrequiem

Trisha Jane belongs to @lovelyteng

Debbie belongs to @mayordebbie )

[zutraeumen]

The First Course

Adele stared at the small plate before her while the others dug in, she expected a serving of salad, and not this... this, what was that again? Something with cucumber?

Ah well, she wasn't supposed to be here for the food anyways but a small bite did seem tantalizing. It wasn't every day that you'd end up at a super-exclusive island restaurant where one evening cost about as much as a Rolex.

The sheer ridiculousness of the price!

Grabbing a fork, she carefully picked at her food, the heavy curtain of her raven hair falling in around her head, perhaps Madam Elsa would stop pinning her with icy stares for once in a while and focus on the other guests. If her hearing didn't fail her with old age, then somebody was snapping photos.

Bet you a hundred bucks it was Tyler.

Guess what, she was on point, and oh, the withering gaze Madam Elsa silently sent his way was delicious as it deserved to be. That kid should really have some basic understanding of respect for a chef's work.

The Sommelier was also someone she needed to be on the lookout for, constantly prowling behind the guests' backs to refill their wine, his smile was as fake as the candy man from her hometown neighbourhood. 

Nevertheless, she averted her attention from those two and tuned in to the conversations going on around her. 

The food critic Lillian Bloom and her editor Ted were already busy nitpicking every goddamn thing without having gotten through the very first thing on the plate! It was a different kind of torture hearing him agree to her every opinion, stupid pick-me boy. 

The movie star George and his assistant Felicity were going through a divorce here of all places, nice of them to discuss it so openly. 

The finance bros were the worst though, talking about their relationships outside of work and how they failed because they couldn't just give a flying fuck about anything else than making money. They even made a toast on it!

The Liebrandt couple was pleasantly quiet in comparison, but she guessed Tyler made up for that. Speaking of him, he seemed to be going through some spiritual journey from tasting alone.

The fiery redhead, bless that woman, seemed to be the only one not swallowing all that bullshit. If things went sour, she would be Adele's first choice of ally. The Chef seemed to also have a merit of interest for her, so she could use that to her advantage.   

Ugh, somebody shoot her out of this place.

A clap made her jerk in her seat, sounding thunderous against the soft chatter of the room that immediately got everyone's attention. Adele turned slowly to witness what was about to happen.

"Good evening." 

The Chef greeted them with a tight upturn of lips, swerving his gaze at his customers with unexpressive eyes.

"Welcome to Hawthorne. I am Julian Slowik and tonight will be our pleasure to feed you."

The diners applauded. Adele scrunched her face and played along. Lillian and Ted exchanged proud, possessive looks. 

His voice was rich and his ramrod-straight posture commanding, demanding absolute silence from the audience that were his customers, "For the next few hours you will ingest fat, salt, sugar, protein, bacteria, fungi, various plants and animals and at times entire ecosystems but... I have to beg of you one thing, it's just one... do not eat."

"Is he serious?" 

Adele scowled at George for interrupting, but the chef merely continued with a pointed raise of his brow that silenced the actor promptly. 

Smoothly, her eyes glided over to her client who held quite the unusual expression of reserved surprise on her face as if it was the first time the Chef had given such a... encapsulating speech. Her husband was very much the same, cross-armed with one good eye suspiciously narrowed at the Chef.

Something was different this time, if the regulars were raising eyebrows, or maybe she was just reading too much into it. 

"Taste. Savour. Relish. Consider every morsel that you place inside your mouth. Be mindful, but do not eat. Our menu is too precious for that. And look around you, here we are, on this island. Accept... accept all of it and... forgive... and on that note: FOOD!"

With a large smile that the assassin was supposed to be friendly enough to fool most, the Chef took a step back to allow his sous-chefs to march onwards in perfect formation, once again in pairs. This was either very well choreographed or...

Adele used the commotion to observe the Chef in the meantime as he assumed a neutral position. The customers were excited but Adele remained very much on edge. It would be impertinent not to forget that there had been an attempt at her life just about, let's check the watch, roughly two hours ago. 

The man in question was about the same height as Adele, mind you for a woman, the assassin was among the very few unconventionally tall, standing at around 5'10". He oozed the confidence and authority of a chef who would not be questioned in his own kitchen regardless of the person who asked, and possessed a gathering of incredibly loyal people. Not much could be read from his visage alone, even though his way of speaking was full of small gesticulations, but from experience, Adele knew there was something dark underneath his eloquent words and polite smiles.

A wolf that entertained the sheep before the slaughter. 

Humans were known for having a sixth sense when it came to being stared at, and it was proven to Adele when he suddenly, for the first time, locked eyes with her and the question of her killer was answered - it was him; he wanted her dead by nightfall.

"Our first course is called 'The Island'. On your plate are plants around the island placed on rocks from the shore, covered in barely frozen filtered seawater, which will flavour the dish as it melts."

Her plate arrived just in time for her to have a reason to look away in a gorgeous, slow-motion CU product shot. Perfectly curated bits of flora and jewels of scallop meat rest artfully atop a smooth, icy rock.

Adele was as thankful as a beggar until she realized there were more rocks on that plate than edible food.

Ah, the unnecessary intricacies of fine dining: ridiculous preparations with ridiculous intellectual speeches times evil chef equalled no food.

Well, the math was clear, there would be no proper food for her at this esteemed establishment. At least none that would be enough to satisfy her hunger. And she was a relatively unfussy eater. You could throw basically anything down her throat if it wasn't anything too spicy, or had olives, or mushrooms...

Tyler in the meantime, held his phone just so and snapped a shot of his plate. Elsa clocked it. Simmering with rage. Someone get the lady butler a shot of vodka before she gutted that inconsiderate boy.

O-oh, the food critic put on some glasses, did she think it would make all the bullshit from her mouth sound more reasonable? George was spectacularly failing at grasping the basic vocabulary to describe taste and she couldn't begrudge Felicity for deciding to leave him, how did this man become a movie star was simply beyond her. It must be quite frustrating to work with such an unoriginal person.

The finance bros were so openly discussing how they showed no real interest in Slowik's food that Adele could see a small vein pop out on Madam Elsa's forehead if one looked closer, knowing that she was also listening to these kids disrespecting their Chef at his own restaurant, eating his own food - unbelievable.

The Liebrandts were discussing something but she couldn't properly hear it because she sat at the opposite side of the room, though it seemed to hardly matter as they didn't meet the eyes of the other, talk about a lovely evening. 

Tyler was blissfully silent but it did help her put things into perspective. 

Each of these guests was not here to eat the food exclusively prepared for them, but for the sole purpose of furthering their own agendas. 

Lillian and Ted were here to suck the pleasure out of cooking by using it to advance their careers. Hunting for the next scoop by inventing new words, finding minor faults and reading into everything the Chef did. 

George and Felicity used this experience to help the movie star transition to a new phase in his career as a TV presenter of a washed-up cooking show.

The finance trio were there simply for the prestige of having been there as if it would bring them extra points to their status. Embezzling money into their own pockets instead of supporting Slowik and his staff - the ones who were actually producing value.

The Liebrandts were here because they could, not eat the food. Probably to maintain their status as elites.

And Tyler, well, he might just be the Chef's biggest fanboy in the whole world. And not the healthy kind. It bordered on fanatical obsession. Using Slowik's fame to uphold his identity as a man of wealth and taste who supposedly knew everything about fine dining.

Man, to be honest, the food sucked up until now... but the customers sucked as well.

And with the Chef looking at Margot's untouched plate the Chef strode to the back of the kitchen, "I want plating in five!"

Nobody expected the collective 'Yes, Chef!' from the staff as they prepared the next course.

[bonnielunkas]

For the ask game, Greg. I mean, it’s a given that he’s my favourite..

And if you’re up to it, Sergio. I’m one of the few people who like him. Sure, he was a dick but he was being manipulated by an sentient toy.

greg :

favorite thing about them - HE IS SUCH A DORK I LOVE IT

least favorite thing about them - he throws a plant, unforgivable sin /j

favorite line - the thing about him beung proud of the fact he's weird :]

brOTP - obviously gotta go w greg and his homies lol. ( maybe my greg and julius could get along too )

OTP - n / a

nOTP - weird stuff bad

random headcanon - greg seems like he'd get upset over when movies and games only do basic science stuff that looks cool, he wants it to go more in depth

unpopular opinion - i. dont really got any lol

song(s) i associate with them - touch-tone telephone by lemon demon, that's. about it sorry

favorite picture of them - n / a

sergio :

favorite thing about them - he wasn't a bad dude like i. kinda expected him to be. he was just a dude stuck between a rock and a hard place

least favorite thing about them - he. does become kind of a jerk,, didn't ruin anything for me tho lol

favorite line - not a line but the thing where he fucking slams his head on his desk repeatedly was really relatable lol

brOTP - whatever hin and clive had goin on lol

OTP - n / a

nOTP - n / a

random headcanon - after reading the story i. agree w the sergio being autistic thing

unpopular opinion - lemme find the rest of the sergio fandom and get back to you on that one chief /j

song i associate with them - n / a

favorite picture of them - BRO GOT NO PICTURES

[demonfox38]

Completed - Final Fantasy IV

Okay, what would you prefer to call this? "Final Fantasy IV Easy Type"? Just "Final Fantasy II"? What's in a number, anyway?

So, my sister got married!

In all honesty, this was a point of stress for my parents and me for the last six months. Not that we had any qualms with the groom! He's solid. The issue was that the wedding was taking place in Colorado. You may have heard me mention that I live in Iowa. So, okay. Just take a flight, right? And you would be right, if your family wasn't paranoid or had any available back-up help. It was my parents, three dogs, and my ass in a van for a day one way, each way, hoping to God that some emergency didn't crop up.

I drove in a hailstorm, man. In a vehicle type that I had never driven before.

And then I had to give a speech at the wedding!

Everything went about as well as could be expected! Well, minus the COVID-19 outbreak that happened afterwards. (Yours truly did not fall ill. Yay for vaccines and a functioning immune system!) But, I had to do a lot of preparing to get to that point. Readying outfits and a speech, practicing stress reduction techniques and mindfulness, accepting what I could and could not control, staying focused on the present moment. Stuff like that. Several of the games I picked this year were selected to help that process. "Super Mario Bros." was some kind of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy session. "Resident Evil 4" was…well, we all know about what "Resident Evil 4" does to one's nerves. "Baroque" ended up being a good exercise in rolling with the punches. "Star Fox Zero" and "Star Fox 64" were last minute confidence boosters, helping me to remember what I had learned. I'm sure "Lunar 2" did something as well, but honestly, sometimes you just need a break, too.

Finally free of all obligations, I decided to spend my Memorial Day weekend in total hedonism. Given the circumstances, weddings were still on my mind. "Say," my thoughts went, "I should play a video game with a wedding in it. What do I have at home for that?"

"Final Fantasy IV" and "The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask" came to mind.

I decided that the first five months of my year was enough of an anxiety attack without adding "Majora's Mask" to it.

"Final Fantasy IV" chronicles the tales of Cecil Harvey, a dark knight with a troubled conscience. After witnessing and participating in multiple atrocities, he gets it in his head that Golly Jee Wilikers, maybe his king and army sucks. Along his path to redemption, he recruits (and frequently loses) multiple people to aid him in his quest to reclass himself into a better person and maybe stop the dickheads he was working for from ruining the entire planet and its moons.

Does he succeed? Err…

Well, he fails his way up, at least.

The particular version of this "Final Fantasy" that I played was the original NTSC Super Nintendo release. Which, I'm assuming you know by now, was called "Final Fantasy II." I'm guessing if you know about this game, you know about the whole clusterfuck of the naming convention behind it, so I'm going to skip the spiel. I just wanted you to know what variant I played before we got too deep into this. Because damn, does this game have multitudes.

Name shenanigans aside, "Final Fantasy IV" is very much the younger sibling of "Final Fantasy II" in terms of overall tone and progression. Both plots toss characters aside like rejected toys the first chance they get. While "IV" is kinder than "II" in terms of fatalities, it absolutely sets up its roster mutilation as the same bloody mess as its predecessor. It just doesn't have the guts to commit to its vile deeds. Spoilers, but of all the party members that appear to die at one point or another, only one stays truly dead. It's wild, considering the multitudes that come and go.

Where "IV" gets meaner is in how much Cecil is an absolute disaster of a hero. Not that he doesn't try to do the right thing or is anything less than civil about his actions. Everything he tries to do goes to shit. Magical crystals get stolen routinely. His girlfriend gets sick, then kidnapped. His best friend is brainwashed so often that the folds of his cerebrum have gone smooth. Hell, he even loses multiple child co-stars in horrific ways. Not to mention what a disaster his family is! Absolute (multiple) shipwreck(s) of a man. Sometimes, it feels like he only succeeds because he keeps getting new rides from his friends (who then, of course, end up hospitalized for the rest of the game because that's how "Final Fantasy IV" rolls.)

What nerfs this initial experience is the translation for this version of the game. Like, we all have a good laugh about Garland "knock(ing) you all down" and Ted Woosley's particular flavor of "Final Fantasy VI"'s translation. Those at least were generally grammatically correct. This one has a lot of strange, startling errors. Like, mixing up the contracted verbs don’t and wouldn't, frequent fragmented sentences, using weird "Legend of Zelda"-esque possessive patterns (like, "sword of dark force"), and so on. It's understandable, if you look at the credits for this game and what happened to its translators. Only one out of the three did translation work for more than one game, and even she pivoted to different roles after this release. It's better than something like "Samurai-Ghost", but it is still weirdly off. It may have been excessive to get a fourth translator, but man. Another set of eyes could have helped.

I saw a line that was (to paraphrase) something along the lines of "These people can summon monsters! They're known as Callers!" And something within me became anemic.

Nintendo's archaic censorship policies did nothing to help this translation, either. It's very hard to have this overwrought story about interplanetary suffering and fatalities when the translators aren't allowed to use terms like kill, death, or dead. Not to mention how weird it gets when holy becomes white and pray becomes wish. I mean, it reads better than the average TikTok censor-dodging speech, but it's still painfully noticeable.

I'm just saying. "Earthbound" got to have a Pray function not 3 years later. It makes a world of difference to be able to say what you mean. (The ESRB may be a fussy nanny, but if Nintendo's old policy was the alternative, I'll take the fussy nanny any day. Plus, it'll also tell you how newer games will scar you for life on their website! So, wee!)

Another surprisingly wonky feature of this game is its menu system. Like, you don't usually think about menus, right? You just click on things and execute functions. There's an annoying behavior to this game's X menu that didn't sit well with me. Every time you want to use an item or a spell, you would be returned to the root of the submenu in question. So, you couldn't just sit there and spam spells or potions on someone to get them back to full health as soon as possible. It's a little nitpick, but it's one of those irritants that added up for me.

The programmer here did go on to make much better menus for subsequent "Final Fantasy" games, so credit where credit is due! There was just a little growing pain to be had with this title. And really, the battle menu is pretty solid (minus an item duplication glitch, but hey! What's a "Final Fantasy" game without that?) Being able to split spells and pick targets is a nice feature! It's simple and often overlooked, but I think it should still be appreciated. You didn't have that in the first "Final Fantasy." And it also auto-corrects attacking units targeting a dead enemy, so that's also good!

I can be a positive reviewer! I swear!

Aesthetically, this game is a bit split down the middle in terms of quality. I mean, it's the earliest "Final Fantasy" game for the Super Nintendo, and a very early Super Nintendo game to boot. So, you're not exactly getting the beautiful, consistent pixel art from "Final Fantasy VI" here. It definitely looks like something that got upscaled from the Nintendo Entertainment System. However, there are still some cool sprites in the mix. The music is usually pretty good, too! The only one that threw me off was a piece titled "Another Moon." Because, hey. I get it. The moon's gonna be a weird place to go for an RPG. But, listen to that and tell me you weren't thinking of squeaking monkeys or the farty Mansion Basement theme from the Director's Cut of "Resident Evil."

And, hey—if you need a palette cleanser, "The Lunarians" isn't a bad moon piece. Occasionally, the game can handle the moon just right!

Had I played the "Final Fantasy" games in order, I think I would have found this game more challenging. Its latter half loads up on bosses that require more advanced tactics to overcome, particularly for its optional content. I suspect that if you are playing this game, it's going to be after the likes of more popular titles like "VI", "VII", and "X". A lot of those games borrow from this game's bag of tricks. But, once you see things like Reflect Magic Spam boss and Death Countdown boss, having that tossed at you isn't going to be much of a curveball.

I'm not saying you won't ever die. It's just going to be one of those things where you'll quickly see what you did wrong, reset, and knock it out of the park. Past number crunching, all you have to contend with is bastard semi-opaque walls and donking your way around hidden paths. Hell, you might even have the skills for that by now.

Do I like "Final Fantasy IV"? Yeah, in the same way I like an average Disney animated movie. It tries to have fangs from time to time, but its gnawing comes off as more endearing than threatening. It's still a generally good experience! I just wouldn't expect you to have a religious awakening playing it.

Do I think you should play the NTSC SNES variant of "Final Fantasy IV"? You absolutely can do better. You can get versions for various consoles (like the Playstation, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS, and Sony PSP), as well as on Steam. The Playstation release seems to be closest aesthetically to the original release, but I do have a fondness for the audio and pixel-crunchy Game Boy Advance release, as that one is a bit closer to "Final Fantasy VI" in appearance. The Nintendo DS version is if you're into low poly 3D models, and the Sony PSP version is for those who like to smear Vaseline into their eyeballs!

Any way you slice it, you can at least get something better to read. Assuming the Vaseline doesn't damage your vision, anyway.

[pjunicornart]

Late Night... Vent? Ramble? IDK bro.

I like to think everybody has one emotion they lead with every day of their lives. I think mine is anger.

Which is basically saying you lead with a mask - since all anger is a "vulnerable" emotion in disguise. I never understood people, finding their emotions to be weird and any display of them would quickly make me withdraw from any conversation I miraculously found myself in. I guess I found anybody displaying any emotion to be "cringey" to put it in internet lingo.

I was taught to suppress and hide by my dad, and basically my dad's whole side of the family. We have a kind of nudge you in the ribs type of love, where you were made fun of for pretty much anything stupid you did. I could never really tell if it was meant to be in good fun or for malicious intent, but I laughed along because some of it I found genuinely funny.

I know an autistic stereotype is calling them robots because they seem to lack any emotion, but I was really called that in elementary school and middle school before I found friend groups from the four high schools I went to. I wouldn't show any emotions, always being called creepy from the way I stared off into the distance with an unmoving face. I would always be called rude for saying something I thought was fine. I was the goodie two shoes, sucking up to my teachers. I wasn't subtle, lol.

Back to the emotions thing... why is it that I find clear, obvious emotional displays so... weird? Logically, I understand that emotions just are, and humans are intertwined with them as a necessary function like eating and waste removal. I wonder if it has something to do with my upbringing which I brought up earlier. Control I realize was a big theme within it, so maybe I'm just controlling my emotions on a subconscious level? Which - again - logically speaking, you can't control your emotions. But maybe because my old man had an underlying message of "presenting yourself properly is presenting yourself as a minimized version of you" I was conditioned to find emotional displays to be taboo.

I guess what runs through my head are questions like, "Why are you getting angry? Can't you just calm down? It shouldn't be that hard." But it is hard, which I reiterate, is something I understand logically. It's hard coming down from a "high" so to speak. "Why are you crying? It's not that serious." But it can be serious for some people. Not everybody can look at a situation factually like I can. "How are you THAT happy about this? It's not that big a deal." However, it can be, and I've only just now realized this after I allowed myself to show happiness towards my comfort items/hyperfixations. But I still ask these questions in my head, even though my brain knows the respective answers/rebuttals. It's only later on in life I realized my inner enemy - Logic.

Perhaps that's why I find emotions weird... Because I was taught to find logical ways of looking at/dealing with them. Sad situation? Just look at the situation through a logical lens or use your preferred suppression technique. Anger? Calm down immediately (by any means necessary), because anger is an emotion that gets you in the most trouble and makes you look like an immature brat. Happiness? All things you're happy about have real world benefits, so focus on those and logic your way to solutions to better your life. This is probably one of (the many) reasons I never found my birthday or Christmas to be enjoyable.

Granted, a lot of gift giving holidays were during years of tight financial situations, so you were more or less taught to ask for what you need instead of what you want. Which is probably why I found mundane items like hairbrushes and pants to be amazing gifts, while "fun" gifts like drawing supplies or toys were given a simple, "Cool." from me.

I hate emotions. It feels like I'll never understand them and by extension, the people who are attached to those emotions. It's much simpler to tone it down and appear "dead" for me, as it's a state I've grown to find comfort in. It's a problem I want to solve, but this is one instance where my logic is failing me, and I hate it.

Whenever I think about this, I'm in a mood I can't describe. I think it's sadness, but it might also be anger. Sometimes I feel like jealousy is in there, but again... I can never tell. Emotions aren't black and white. But sometimes I wish they were. It would make things a lot easier to understand on my end.

I'm curious to know if other people around have a similar or exact view on the things I've mentioned here. I can't be the only one who this weird relationship with emotions.