#i was travelling and stuff but i am back home and can hopefully keep up with things now

[ducks-love-peas]

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[motherforthefamicom]

niche has been mamking my computer run like absolute shit so far but immm enjoying it so much =))

[juletheghoul]

too close

a/n: Yeah. The trailer got me again. I can't help myself!!! Also - I didn't actually want to write feelings for these two but I have no say anymore. They have feelings, they are obsessed with each other and I can't just ignore it lol. Not beta’d and barely proofread- any mistakes or errors are my own. Hopefully you enjoy! (PS I did a little research on fruits in Roman times- they had no word for orange, so any shade of orange was just called red)

Warnings; 18+ no minors, vague but big-legal age gap, piv sex, dirty talk, Marcus eats pussy and I don't CARE, giving him that gluckgluck3000, creampie, Marcus gets hurt (hurt comfort), hand stuff from him because he's my precious man and he likes to give his girl pleasure, master / slave dynamic (power imbalance) he’s still pretty possessive, Marcus calls reader Girl, reader calls Marcus Dominus (for now?👀), **FEELINGS** let me know if I missed any!

This is the fic I referenced in this preview

Pairing: Marcus Acaciusx F!Reader

word count: 5.1k (whoops!)

reblogs are appreciated

Prev chapter Masterlist series masterlist

You frowned, despite your station, the confusion and slight worry breaking through the years of training your face to remain neutral. For a moment, you forgot your place.

“But-“ he turned, head tilted in curiosity instead of anger, thankfully, “I am to stay here? You do not wish me to accompany you Dominus? To pour and serve…?” You could not keep the slight hurt from your voice, much to your dismay. 

“No Girl, you will stay here, at the villa.” He saw the confusion, the unabashed anguish on your face and his expression softened, “peace Girl, it is not a matter of not desiring your presence or your service.” You listened to him with a lump in your throat, a wild fear seizing your heart that he might have grown tired of you. 

“I will not have the luxury of a tent, the rebellion is small enough that I can squash it and be back in less than a moon’s turn.” He came close, close enough to have your face tilt up to stare into his eyes. “I would not have you waiting for me in such a meagre camp, I would not have you sleeping in the dirt.” His hand settled on your arm, a soft offering, a reassurance but it did nothing to calm you. You have grown so accustomed to having him close, to ending up in his bed of a night more often than not before heading to your own, naked and pleasantly sore; to falling asleep with his seed trickling out of your puffy little cunt.

“I am comfortable wherever you are Dominus, I could still be of use, to light your fires-“ 

“I would have you here, and safe. That is my decision, and no amount of temptation will sway me from it.” He lifted your hand, pressing his lips to your fingers in silent, but firm apology. You knew there was nothing to be said, you had already pushed the matter far more than would be allowed on a normal day. 

“Your will, Dominus.” You bowed your head, despite the hurt and worry swirling around in your belly. “I will pray to the Gods for your swift victory, and safe return home.” 

He nodded, leaving shortly after. 

Time passed, and a feeling of restlessness took firm root in your being. The house felt empty, despite the attendants and sentinels left to guard them as well as the property. The days found you listless, moving through the motions of your chores and daily duties practically numb. The days were marks on the wall of your mind, praying to the Gods to send him back to you. 

Whispers travelled swiftly through the city, through the market stalls and through the villa itself, most of them rumours and it was difficult to keep your emotions in check. 

He has advanced

He has killed the leaders of the rebellion

He is victorious, already on his way home

He has been hurt

He is dead

He is victorious - Rome's favoured son has triumphed once more

The moon turned, once, and then twice, finally a third time before he was home. The all encompassing relief was short lived however, that wash of relief turned to ashes in your mouth at the sight of him. One of the rumours had been true after all. A sword wound to the side had laid him low late into the battle, it hadn’t killed him, thank the Gods, but it had slowed him down and made his journey home nothing short of agony. 

Your heart raced to see him weakened, every fibre of your being itched to run to him, to press your lips to skin but you refrained. You stood aside, dutifully, letting his trusted soldiers practically carry him to his bed. The older women got to work, bringing fortified wine with all manner of powders and potions to aid in his recovery while you stood next to him, the little half-moon marks in your palms from your nails barely felt like anything compared to the ache in the back of your throat. 

Your eyes would not leave his face. 

He looked so tired, mud and grime still marring his skin as he lay prone on his bed. To forfend the ugly thoughts swirling around in your mind, you focused on the tasks at hand. 

He needs to be cleansed, after he eats something I will boil some water and move gently, leave him to gather his strength. An offering must be made so the Gods will hasten his healing-

“Girl.” His voice was soft, and instantly you rushed to his side. 

“Yes Dominus, I am here.” You took his hand tentatively, your heart soared to feel him squeeze it. 

“Fetch me some broth, and help me to sit up–a few pillows behind me. I would sit upright.” 

You rushed to comply, happy to focus on his instructions. With soft touch, you did your best to prop him up, biting your lip to stop your eyes from welling up when he winced. Once satisfied, you set about fetching hot water and linens, as well as his broth. He sighed at the sight of it, and drank almost all of it within a few heartbeats. 

“Shall I help you cleanse now Dominus?” You brought the basin closer, showing him the steaming water and he nodded. 

Tentatively, you removed the soiled clothes he wore, ears pricked up for any sign of discomfort. He beared it with good grace, keeping the twinges of pain to himself, you imagined for your benefit, and you were grateful. It took time, but finally, you had divested him of everything, and he half sat, half laid on his bed, not an ounce of shame for his nakedness. It was secondary, to see him bare, more alarming was the soiled linens with the dark bloom of dried blood staining it on his side like some grotesque flower. 

He was pale, weak, his injury robbing him of his normal, ruddy health. He watched you, his expression somewhere between exhaustion, and a calm content. 

With gentle hands, you dipped the clean linen into the steaming water of the basin, and methodically cleaned the dirt, and dried blood from his skin. Eventually his eyes closed, soft sighs filled the air with every pass of the warm cloth across his shoulders, down the firm muscles of his thighs, his hands, until you reached the contours of his face. The lines were more defined, this battle had taken a toll on him. 

Your thumbs smoothed over his brows, wiping dust and worry away with a bone deep gratitude that he had come back. He melted into your touch, and you tried and failed to suppress the smile. 

“I must clean the wound, Dominus.” You reached for more clean dressings, giving him a chance to steel himself but he kept his eyes closed. You thought he might have fallen asleep, but he nodded, and so you did what needed to be done. 

To his great credit, he didn’t make a sound. Even as you cleaned at the angry, but healing edges of the wound. He said nothing when you packed it with the poultice one of the women had brought, when you covered it in a clean dressing, even as he drank down the no doubt foul tasting potion to help him sleep. Instead he settled back, and sighed, his eyelashes fluttering against his skin. 

You gathered all of the soiled clothing and discarded bandages, and moved to leave him to rest but his hand snatched at your wrist. 

“Wait, Girl, stay. Stay with me–” His words were almost slurred, and he didn’t finish his thought, his hand loosened around your wrist but you stayed, taking great care to lie beside him on his bed, and watched him sleep. Your heart raced with something you couldn’t–wouldn't name, something that threaded through your ribcage like smoke, wreathing its way around your lungs and taking root in your heart. You pressed the back of your hand to his brow, thankful that no fever lurked there and once satisfied that he was indeed resting, you rested your head next to his. 

Sleep took you, swiftly and without warning. 

The world outside was dark when your eyes opened, and it took a moment for you to get your bearings. His warm skin pressed to your arm and you jolted with the memory of his injury. 

“Peace, girl, I am well.” His voice was quiet, but stronger than before, “You did well in changing my dressings.” His praise squeezed at something in your belly, robbing you of any words you might have had. “You must be hungry, go and fetch something to eat and bring it here, I will share the meal with you.” The concern in his voice brought a smile to your lips, his thoughts on you, despite the pain he must have been in. 

“Yes Dominus, shall I fetch more of the potion as well? You should rest-” He raised his hand softly to forestall you. 

“I have rested enough, I would have my wits about me just now. Go on, you may fetch whatever else you need, I would have you sleeping in my bed.” 

His words rung in your ears as you moved throughout the silent house. They shone through your eyes as you piled a serving tray with olives and cheese, with bread and ripe fruits. They camped in your belly as it rolled with something when they repeated over and over like a prayer in your mind as you filled a serving jug with the wine he favoured, they strengthened your grip as you carried it with the utmost care down the moonlit halls of the house, almost sharpening your eyesight to bring you swiftly back to him. 

You set it down between you on his bed, careful not to spill anything or jostle him too much and just in time too, the hunger rung out from your empty belly loud as thunder but you ignored it, your priority was to help him sit up.

“Eat Girl, you are starving. I will pick at my leisure.” He frowned, gesturing to the food and you were grateful beyond words. It was a quiet meal, but comfortable. He usually ate by himself, most of the time while in his study and with you, it was after chores and duties had been completed. Despite all of your trysts and time spent together, it was the first meal you’d ever shared. 

“You do not favour the olives.” He said it without judgement. You shook your head shyly, covering your mouth to speak through bites of bread and cheese. 

“My desire for them is unpredictable.” He tilted his head, “Sometimes, they are all I want. Other times, I cannot stand the sight of them.” You wrinkled your nose, confirming that this time, the latter statement was true.

He smiled, huffing out an amused laugh through his nose.

“What else do you like? I see you favour the fruit, which one do you like most of all?” It was strange to be asked about yourself, no one in your life had ever wondered about what you might of preferred, for anything.

“Figs, I think. Pomegranates too, although peeling them takes a lifetime.” He huffed again, wincing slightly, “Are you in pain? Shall I fetch–” He raised a hand. 

“I am well, continue. Why do you favour them if they are so troublesome to eat?” He shifted a tiny bit, with great effort, turning to face you better. The room was dark, save for the few candles burning and the moon shining in through his window, casting stark shadows across his lovely face. 

“They are worth the effort.” 

He smiled, and finally reaches over to help himself to the food. Something about the darkness, about the quiet seclusion made you bolder.

“What about you Dominus? Is there a fruit you favour?” Your heart raced, fear that you might have overstepped grabbing hold of you but it was for naught, he merely frowned in thought. 

“I prefer plums.” He said after a moment, “I like figs as well.” It was both exhilarating and strange to speak with him like that, in the quiet dark, almost comfortable. “Although–in my younger days we fought in Spain, and there I tasted a fruit I have never seen again, I do not know the name of it but I enjoyed it very much.” 

“What was it like?”

“It was round, a strange shade of red with a thick peel but underneath it had segments like a lemon.” He continued eating, and you were content to sit with him, only moving the tray once he had eaten his fill.

“It is good to be home.” The words came out as a sigh, “I missed it while I was away, more than any other time I must admit.” He shifted slightly and winced again, “Help me lay flat, my back aches from sitting.” He held out his hand and you rushed to oblige, moving pillows and positioning him flat on his back. “That is better, gratitude Girl, let us blow out the candles and settle in.” 

“Yes Dominus.”

“Have you something to sleep in? What is most comfortable for you?” 

“I am content in this, Dominus.” You gestured to your tunic as you made your way around the room, snuffing out the candlelight.

“That is not what I asked you.” There was no bite in his words, but the expectation of truth was plain as day. 

“Most nights I sleep in the nude, it is what is most comfortable for me.” You made your way back to the bed but he did not let you get in. 

“Please, make yourself comfortable, there is no expectation from me, much as I have missed the pleasures of your body. I would have you sleep how you are accustomed.” You nodded once, undressing down to your skin before slipping into bed with him. In the dark, in the quiet, it was peaceful and the sound of his steady breathing worked it spell on you quicker than you would have thought. 

“Gratitude Girl.” He said it soft, and with a full belly and heavy lids, you questioned him. 

“For what Dominus?” The words were almost slurred, as the heavy press of sleep pushed you into the deep pool of blackness. You thought you heard him say everything, but you could not be sure, sleep had claimed you. 

-

You woke with the sun, the first few rays sliding across your skin like water and it was hard to move from your place. In the night, your body had brought you close to him, seeking out the warmth of him. He was still asleep, but his legs had tangled up with yours and it was strange to lay with him like this, both of you nude as the day you were born, yet incredibly comforting. 

You took the time to check over his wound, and were pleased to find it looking much better. The edges of it stitching together, thankfully without corruption. 

“It does not hurt as much as it did before.” His voice was sleepy, “I will be back on my feet soon enough.”

“Let me dress Dominus, and I will fetch you something to break your fast.” 

“Not just yet.” He shifted, and although you helped him, he didn’t struggle quite as much. “Come, lie with me.” He held out his arm, and you went to him, trembling like a leaf to rest your head on his shoulder. “Gods, I missed you, Girl.” He buried his nose into the mess of your hair and something inside you grew and swelled, was fed and made strong by his words and by his skin. 

“I missed you, Dominus.” Truer words had never been spoken by you, the ache for him had been unbearable.

“Did you?” There was something underneath, something desperate and had it not been so early, so peaceful, he might not have asked.

“Desperately Dominus, I feared you had abandoned me, I feared you no longer desired me.” You pressed your face into his neck, breathing him in, his scent, his warmth, him- sustenance

“Come now, Girl, you know of my desire for you, it is like a thirst I cannot quench. A hunger I cannot satisfy, despite my dark moods, despite my sour face, you are a source of joy and pleasure I have not known in some time.” His hand brought your face up, his gaze burned into yours and his words affected you so that tears welled in your eyes. He wiped them away, and the tenderness was too much, a sob clawed its way out from your throat. All of the worry, all of the fear that he might have left you alone in the world, to be sold to another bubbled up and he held you as you cried.

“Do you wish to be free of me? Is that why you cry?” Something in his voice broke your heart.

“No Dominus, no-“ you wiped at your eyes, moving to look him in the eye and the expression you saw in them was almost too much to bear. “I have never been so happy in all my life, I have never felt about anyone, the way I feel for you.” You pressed your lips to his, petal-soft. 

“Sometimes, the things I feel for you are almost too big for my body, I want to be with you always, I want to feel you always. I feared so much while you were gone that I could barely eat, barely sleep-” Your words were frantic, so many things to get out that you could barely speak and he pulled you close, shushing you softly. 

“My heart swells to hear you speak this way.” He reached down, sliding his hand towards the hinge in your knee, to pull it over his thigh. “Peace, let us just enjoy the silence.” You nodded into his neck, letting go of a great breath in your lungs. 

“If I was myself, and whole, I would be pulling every ounce of pleasure from you now.” 

You laughed at the annoyance in his tone.

“Soon enough Dominus, I would have you healthy and healed.” Your hand slid up the smooth expanse of his chest, threading through the curls at the base of his skull. “Once your wound has healed, you may have me any way you please.” 

“Any way?” His tone darkened, and your body responded, thighs clenching, heart racing, nipples hardening. “Any way I please? And what if I want you for a day and a night? What if I want you wet and spread for me in this bed until you’re so full of my gift it spills all over my linens?” The hand that had been softly stroking your back moved down and grabbed at your backside, pulling until the lips of your sex spread open. 

A moan slipped out at the feel of his hands, and he all but growled. 

“Do not make those noises Girl, not when I cannot fuck you how I wish to.” He pulled your face up, licking into your mouth with a hunger you could not satisfy, not in his current state. 

“Dominus, I beg of you not to taunt me, not when we cannot indulge.” You kissed him again, despite your words and finally he pulled away, the tremble of frustration in his grip. You shifted, and felt his manhood press against your thigh, the sight of him, leaking and hard against his belly made you sigh. 

“Do not concern yourself with that, I am ravenous for you, but my body cannot fulfill the wishes of my cock. Go and fetch something to break our fast. I will need you to change my dressing as well, if you could.” He sent you off with a kiss, and with desire dripping onto your thighs. 

“Yes Dominus.” You smiled, and rushed off to do what needed to be done. 

-

Weeks passed, and he healed beautifully. His wound knit together cleanly and with that, his strength came back. More often than not he stood and cleansed without your help, he left the safety of his bed and his chambers and sported a genuine smile as he made his rounds through his house.

You trailed behind him, your own smile in place to see him coming back into himself. 

Things were different. He was different. 

He spoke more, that was for one. Before he would keep his own council, his words were curt and his thoughts would be kept close to his chest. Some nights he reverted to his silence, but it had grown into something peaceful, something comfortable.

The biggest change though, was his attitude towards you. 

For one, he refused to sleep alone. The darkness of night found you tending to his needs and after the candles had been snuffed- he pulled your tunic off and pulled you into his bed, into his arms. 

At first, you thought it was his injury, a fear that he might suffer some setback in his sleep, but as the days passed on and he was well past the point of danger, he still refused to let you go. 

His desire had come back too, much quicker than his body could handle. Mornings would find you in the cage of his arms, with his lust pressed hard and hot at the cleft of your ass. You would pull away so as not to tease him, and he would let you at first, but as his body caught up to him, he stopped letting you pull away. 

Most mornings, he’d whisper how much he missed burying himself inside you, how he couldn’t wait to gift you with his seed while slipping his fingers between your legs and swirling them around your clit, only stopping after you’d fluttered around his fingers. Then he’d send you off to fetch food with a smile on your face and an ever-growing ache between your thighs. 

A part of you fretted as to why he hadn’t taken you yet, as the days passed it was clear that he was well enough to indulge. Another part, a hopeful, possibly quite foolish part of you thought maybe he was waiting for you to ask him. That couldn’t be, could it? You ruminated on your previous encounters, yes–he’d called you forth to warm his bed, but with every recalled memory it was clear that in his own way, he'd let you decide whether to push things or not. A luxury you knew was rare. It was an intoxicating thought though, to think that you could decide when and what you wanted him to do.

So many possibilities. 

When night came, you brought him his meal, and his wine and tried to keep the tremble of excitement out of your hands. You watched him move about his chambers, his strength back to normal as he dipped his hands into the fresh water in his basin. His hair had grown out a little, dark with silver mixed through and that thought struck you again, that he was some beautiful marble statue come to life. An emperor of old, standing before you in all his glory. 

“Dominus-” You called to him, unable to hold back any longer. His eyes raised, finding you as he dried his hands. 

“Before you take your meal, I would ask something of you.” Your voice shook, never had you openly asked him for anything before. He raised his eyebrows, more surprised than anything.

“What would you have of me Girl?” He moved towards you, eyes curious. 

“I would have you–” You stopped him, guiding him to sit on his bed, “I would have you sit here, and accept my mouth.” 

You kneeled before him, staring up at him with your lip caught between your teeth. Your hands landed on his knees, sliding up to pull his tunic up to expose his manhood. For a moment, he stared at you with wide, surprised eyes. 

“I have missed our times together, I have missed you filling me of a night and as much as I treasure your fingers in the morning, I would have you feel pleasure at my hand–or, my mouth.” He did not stop you from exposing him and heat flooded your body to see how quickly his cock responded to your words, to the soft exploration of your hand. 

“You would do this?” His palm landed on your shoulder, sliding up to cup your cheek. “You have no obligation, I would not command you to do this should you not want to.” You spit onto your palm and grasped him in hand and despite his words, he shudderred to feel the way you stroked him. 

“I dream about this Dominus, I desire you so deeply that I ache for you–” You opened your mouth and took the blunt tip of him into your mouth. He moaned, slack-jawed at the sight of you. You placed open mouthed kisses at the tip, and the sensitive underside, stroking at the base of him. His thighs spread, making room for you and you relished the warm strength of them under your arms. 

He tasted like the ocean. 

“God’s above Girl-” You pulled away, smiling as you continued to stroke him, he barely fit in the palm of your hand and with his passion dribbling out and your spit the sounds were loud and slick. Your own arousal unspooled between your legs, the ache intensifying as he tensed underneath you, hissing when you pressed soft kisses to the scar at his side, to the softness of his belly, to the firm golden thighs bracketing you to his hips. 

“Open your mouth.” His confidence resurfaced, and then his hand wrapped around yours, guiding you to stroke him the way he liked. He guided the reddened tip into your mouth. “Look at me when you take me in your mouth, open wide, I want to touch your throat.” You moaned around him, taking him deeper, breathing through your nose in an attempt to stay calm. 

“That’s it Girl, Gods be damned-” His tone was filthy as he held you there, eyes watering until you pulled away, sputtering and messy. 

“If you continue, I will spill in your mouth.” he guided your hand still, slowly stroking himself against your lips, smearing your spit and his salty arousal onto your lips. Never in your life have you felt that powerful, that beautiful, with tears spilling down your face and slick dripping down your thighs. He held himself suspended in his pleasure, awaiting your word. 

“Would you like to spill in my mouth Dominus? Or would you like to fill my cunt?” You held out your tongue, letting him rub the tip of himself against it while he decided. Your heart soared to see the conflict on his face. 

“I would fill your cunt, I have missed it terribly.” You smiled and rose with a final kiss to his cock and once you did, he ripped the tunic off your body. The loud tear of it made you squeal with a mix of shock and excitement. 

“I promise you, I will not last.” He all but tossed you onto his bed, spreading your legs wide for his gaze. “Greedy little cunt, so wet for me.” He spoke in a daze, staring at the place that ached at the mere thought of him. He slipped down and it’s with a shock that you watched him dip down to spear into you with his tongue. Never had anyone used their mouth on you and the sight of it was almost too much to bear.

It’s with a greedy, filthy groan that his lips dragged up to latch around the pert little pearl of you, his tongue stroking, stroking, stroking while his mouth suctioned around it. Your body was a taut string, legs shaking under the strong grip of his hands, holding you to him tight enough to hurt. Your breathing came in pants, the climax was already there, balancing on a knife's edge, so close you could almost taste it.

His hands moved, sliding up to pinch at your nipples and the wave crested. Your hands gripped into his curls, both holding him close, and desperately pushing him away while you fluttered into his mouth. 

You felt the strong muscle of his tongue slide down, drinking you from the source. 

He made his way back up, your slick shining on his face and on his whiskers. You’re almost too shocked, and too shy to look into his eyes. 

“I confess, I have wanted to do that for a long time.” He pulled his tunic up and off as you lay under him, boneless. “I know it’s not something commonly done, but I enjoy it. Did you enjoy it? I felt you flutter.” He raised your leg, wrapping it around his hip while his cock slipped inside you without any resistance. You let out a relieved sigh, finally, he was home. 

“Yes Dominus–” You almost whispered, half-shy as he dropped down, his arms holding himself up on either side of your skull. “No one has ever–Oh–” He snapped his hips hard, unable to hold himself back and already, the need built in your core, robbing you of any coherent thoughts. 

“No one but me ever will.” He kissed you, making you taste yourself and it was so perverse, so exhilarating you held him close, wrapping your arms and legs around him to feel as much of him as you could. His cock pushed and pulled, hitting that special place he owned and with a handful of thrusts, and a punched out groan he filled you with his gift. Finally. 

He watched himself pull out of the mess he'd made, watched in silence as his gift dripped out and onto his linens. 

Things felt different this time, there’s a vulnerability, an intimacy that is almost overwhelming. You pulled his face up, and pressed your lips to his softly, praying that you conveyed the feelings swirling in your chest. He kissed you back, his hand gliding up to wrap around your neck. When you opened your eyes, his brow was furrowed, the same feelings shining back at you through his dark eyes. 

Seconds passed, and the feeling did not disperse. Before he would have sent you away, but he held you close. Wordlessly he pressed his lips to yours over and over, he stroked at your skin, your shoulder and your thigh high on his ribs, your breast, your lips. He moved off, and went about dampening a cloth to clean himself off of you. Once he was done, he brought the food you’d served him and fed you from his own hand. 

You accepted the food, smiling shyly as he watched you, something like affection, like love shining out through his eyes. 

“Thank you Dominus–” He shook his head, a small frown at your words. 

“Call me Marcus.”

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[rosielovesf1]

on the move | LN4

quadrant moving company coming soon

word count: 1k

warnings: none! (but i have not written in toooo long and i have writer's block so please bear with me 😭)

author's note: thank y'all SO MUCH for 100 followers!!! i am on summer holiday so hopefully will be way more frequent with posts than i have been. if you have any story/driver requests, please message me or use the button on my home page :))

Boxes. Everywhere. y/n ran a hand through her hair, sighing at all that still needed to be done. 

Just picture the apartment. Gorgeous with floor to ceiling windows, a spacious kitchen that filled with light in the afternoons. Most of all, the first place that she could truly call her own after graduation- the incredibly rewarding result of balancing a job and uni for the past four years. 

“Baby, do you want your mugs in with the kitchen stuff or the fragiles?” y/n shuffled over to the kitchen from the bedroom, smiling at the sight of her boyfriend on tiptoe, reaching for the top shelf of the cabinets. 

“Need some help with that?” she giggled, wrapping her arms around him from behind and leaving a soft peck on his neck. He groaned but relaxed into her touch. 

“I think-,” He tugged her arm and she moved to stand in front of him, grinning as she met his green eyes. The room seemed to grow hotter as he caged her in between his arms, the cool granite counter biting into her lower back. There was a glint in his eyes that sent a shiver through her body.

“Lan-” The clock was ticking on her move out date, but a twenty minute break wouldn’t do any harm. Maybe they’d even be more efficient after. She wrapped her arms around his neck, lips parted in anticipation. 

“I need-” One of his hands came up to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Mmhmm.” The feather light touch was delicious. 

“To stage an intervention. You have so much stuff.” It took her a second to react to the sudden change in mood, a slow grin spreading over his face as he could practically see the gears turning in y/n’s head. He took advantage of the spare moment to nip playfully at her nose, full on laughing when she pushed him back suddenly. 

“I need all my stuff!” y/n protested, crossing her arms defiantly. 

“Baby, you can’t even reach that stuff. It’s just collecting dust up there.” The entire top shelf of the cabinet was cluttered with cups of various shapes and sizes. Some were pretty crystal in pastel colors, others were travel souvenirs sporting slogans like “My friend went to Cancun and all I got is this cup” (yes, there were multiple of those. from the same places.), and there were even a couple that were shaped like animals. The giraffe-shaped ceramic mug had lost its head, and it almost looked a little… phallic… without it. 

“Yes, I can. Watch.” y/n pushed herself onto the counter, taking a moment to steady herself before standing up, now easily at eye level with the cup collection. She smiled triumphantly down at Lando, the moment only dimmed by a sneeze that made her eyes water. Okay, so maybe he had a point about the dust. 

“You’re making me nervous.” He wrapped his hands around y/n’s thighs to steady her, squeezing once to punctuate his words. “Get down, please.” 

She ignored his words and savored the warmth of his touch, reaching for the giraffe mug and grinning at its misshapen appearance. It’d been a souvenir from the zoo when her and her twin brother were children- so well loved that they’d accidentally broken it when deciding who got to take it to uni. 

“Alright, point made.” The reminiscing was interrupted as the world suddenly tilted. She grabbed for the shelf as she leaned forward, Lando gripping her thighs to keep them in place on top of his shoulders.

“Hey! I wasn’t done up there.” She tugged at his curls, planting a soft kiss on the top of his head when he grumbled in protest. “I was thinking of Ratatouille.” 

“That would make you the rat, baby.” That comment earned him a thunk on the head.

Y/n didn’t mind the view from up here- Lando started walking towards the bedroom, where most of what needed to be packed remained. He slowed as they walked through the low door frame, and she smooshed her cheek against his as she leaned down to avoid hitting her head. 

This was the bedroom where she’d studied for her last exams, watched movies with her roommates, even where Lando had taken care of her after a night that was a little too much fun. It was weird to leave it behind, but with her roommates all moved out and the decor taken down, it hardly seemed like the setting of some of her most favorite memories. Lando backed up into the bed, and she fell off his shoulders onto the soft comforter with an oomph. 

“You know…” she said, flipping over onto her stomach. Lando flopped down next to her, humming to tell her to continue. “If you think I should do some decluttering, maybe I should do away with some of my Quadrant hoodies.” 

She’d developed quite a collection over the year they’d been together- one in every design from each drop, and a fair few of Lando’s as well. 

“No. Those stay,” he mumbled, grabbing her around the waist and tickling her across the ribs. She squealed and kicked as she tried to get away from him, eventually straddling him to escape his fingers. 

His eyes raked down her figure at their position, and she just laughed and pushed his face to the side before climbing off. Both staring at the stark white ceiling, she reached to lace her fingers in between his. 

“I’m so excited,” she started, her voice soft. “New apartment, close to my favorite person,” he squeezed her hand at that, “and a new job that I can’t wait to start. I feel like I’m growing up.” 

“I’m so proud of you baby.” They just laid there for a second, savoring each other’s company, watching the dust that almost seemed to sparkle in the late afternoon sunlight. y/n was perfectly content- her favorite person by her side, and a world of new possibilities just days away.

@y/n-l/n is on the move… and all of her mugs are coming with her

@landonorris quadrant moving company coming soon

[racinggirl]

Racing Hearts - prologue

a/n: I've spent an entire evening trying to perfect this prologue. I wanted it to give away the essence and personality of both main characters, so hopefully I made that work. I have to say that I am slightly scared, because this is my first ever multi-chapter story I'm writing, but I'm trying! Hopefully you will enjoy it.

Repost, comment or any type of support is very welcomed! It keeps me motivated 🫣

Comment down below if you want to get added to the taglist

warnings: dark!lando, confident!lando, business!lando, nothing much really, just rich people stuff.

Racing Hearts Masterlist

next chapter

Olivia

The sky was filled with a range of colours, varying between bright pinks, pastel oranges and deep, dark purples contrasting against the black from the night sky. As the wind breezed past me, the few strands of hair that weren’t tucked into my messy bun flew up in front of my face. I tightened my grip on the balcony’s railing, inhaling sharply before slowly breathing out.

I can do this. I can do this.

Tonight was one of the most important evenings of the year, the annual Charity Gala in Monte Carlo, Monaco. Me and my family lived in London, but business isn’t tied to one city, or even one country.

I’ve travelled a lot, flying to New York City for an opening of one of Harrington Enterprises newest Jewellery stores, or going all the way to Dubai to accompany my mother to one of our fabric manufacturers. They were all business trips, as was the one I’m attending on my own right now.

Monaco, home of some of the most wealthy, successful and busiest people on earth. You only lived in Monaco for two reasons. A, you were born here. B, you had plenty of money and had no idea what to do with it. Seeing as the average net worth of a Monaco citizen is above ten million dollars, I’d say ninety-nine percent of the people at this gala belonged to category B. I had to make a great impression; it was my job as the PR Director at Harrington Enterprises.

I wasn’t a stranger to a high society gala; however, I had not experienced something as extravagant as this before. High ceilings, decorated with glass chandeliers that glittered in the big open room. Waiters moving effortlessly through the crowd, holding trays with glasses filled with champagne that cost more than your average rent.

My eyes roamed the big, crowded room, searching for the man that stood number two on my list; one of the reasons my parents informed me of this Charity Gala. He was a well-known fashion icon and businessman in this world. Nate Thompson.

I spotted him at the bar, talking to the women that were nearly drooling at his feet. The man was eye-candy for every woman at this event. With broad shoulders, a sharp jawline and masculinity that made multiple men run for their money, he was one of the most successful bachelors out there.

I gathered my courage and stepped towards the man, shoulders straight with a friendly yet professional smile plastered on my lips. As I approached, Nate’s eyes met mine and he gave me one of his warm, welcoming smiles.

‘’Olivia Harrington,’’ he said, extending his hand. ‘’I’ve heard a lot about you, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.’’

‘’The pleasure is mine, Mr. Thompson,’’ I replied, shaking his hand firmly. ‘’Such a wonderful place, isn’t it?’’ I slowly let go of his hand, keeping my posture straight and professional.

‘’Please, call me Nate,’’ he said with a wink. ‘’Mr Thompson makes me feel old.’’

As the night went on, we struck up a conversation about his newest fashion items. He spoke about different designs, as well as places for shop openings. As much as I loved the fashion world – shopping at Versace, Prada and Chanel never got boring – I had to hold back a yawn once every few minutes.

‘’Your father has done a tremendous job attaining the vacant buildings at Bond Street.’’ Nate did exactly what I expected him to do, and it surprised me how little effort I had to put into this conversation. ‘’A very, very astonishing job.’’ Nate continued speaking highly of my father’s deals.

Bond Street was one, if not the most expensive street in London. My father bought most of the houses a few years back, when the house market was at it’s lowest. It was no surprise Nate Thompson was looking for the best of the best when it came to opening his new store in London.

‘’He did, indeed,’’ I reached into my designer bag, fishing out a business card of my father’s company. ‘’It would be a perfect location for Thompson’s, wouldn’t it?’’

Nate didn’t hesitate once and reached out for the card I held out with my fingers. ‘’Pleasure doing business with you, Olivia, you’ll hear from my team.’’ A satisfied smile appeared on my face when Nate gave me a curt nod, me returning the favour by raising my glass ever so slightly.

One down, one to go.

‘’Impressive.’’ The dark, smooth voice scattered goosebumps all over my skin, it made my body react in ways I hadn’t felt in quite a while.

My eyes followed the voice, and I was met by a tall figure. A tailored black suit that hugged those broad shoulders. Dark curls that looked a perfect combination of messy and neat. Eyes, a colour that I couldn’t quite decipher. Green, blue, a hint of grey or even brown, but what I did know was that those eyes pierced straight through me, looking into the depths of my soul.

The low chuckle that rose from his throat snapped me out of my thoughts. I gathered myself and lifted my chin up ever so slightly.

Let’s tackle the number one on my list.

‘’Mr. Norris, what a pleasure.’’

Lando

Emerald green never had been one of my favourite colours, it stood out great with my tan, though. It was sophisticated, elegant and not too in your face. You’d think it would be a colour that I adored, well, you couldn’t be more wrong.

Orange was more my colour, it was fierce, available in many different shades, perfect for every occasion. Mix it with a dark shade, it stood out. Mix it with a light shade, it blended in. A perfect representation of my life.

As a racing driver, you needed dark, to stand out to be the best of the best, to catch people’s attention to gain yourself a spot in the spotlight. But you also wanted to blend in, to move through the field without getting noticed, yearning for the privacy that was so hard to attain.

In the world of business, it was similar, yet different. You needed dark so you could make money, be the best of the best, without having that spotlight. Because having that spotlight in the business world meant you needed that light more than ever, needing to blend in so you wouldn’t have that target on your back.

Combine the two, and you learn to be ahead of everyone, two steps ahead to get whatever you want, whenever you want.

I reached for a glass and raise it to my lips, my eyes staying glued to the business deal being made in front of my eyes.

Everybody that attended this Gala wasn’t here for the good sake of their heart. No, a Charity Gala was the perfect way to make it look like you’re donating money for those in need, when in fact it’s the perfect cover-up for a business deal. One that was being closed a few meters away from me.

Once the deal had been made, I made my way over with a few long strides. She didn’t hear me approach, causing her body to react instantly to my voice.

‘’Impressive.’’ I never expected Olivia Harrington to strike up a deal with Nate Thompson in just under 17 minutes. The man was harder to please than a newborn baby that needed its mom. However, I suppose when you’re looking for a new location for your shop, Bond Street was the place to be, a coincidence that Richard Harrington had exactly what Nate needed? I don’t think so.

I never underestimated the Harrington family; they were one step ahead most of the time. It’s a good thing I’m always two ahead.

‘’Mr. Norris, what a pleasure.’’ I took a hold of her hand, ignoring the way her soft skin felt against my own. ‘’Ms. Harrington.’’ Her hand let go of mine, and I grinned slightly at the subtle flush of her cheeks.

‘’Surely not eavesdropping, I hope?’’ Her soft yet sharp voice was a complete contrast to the previous shock on her face when she laid eyes on me.

‘’Merely observing.’’

My gaze flew over her body, the way that emerald green dress hugged her body in the right places, the tanned legs underneath that dress going down to the Louboutin’s she was wearing. I wasn’t one to back away from a bit of flirting, I absolutely loathed the fake smiles and pretended interest at any business event. They were necessary, for the most part, and I was amongst one of many that took part in the fake contest, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed it.

‘’I see,’’ the smile on my face was less forced this time, but I blame it on how the woman in front of me swallowed hard, a clear indication of nervousness.

A chuckle rose in my chest. ‘’No need to be nervous, Sunshine,’’ I smirked slightly. ‘’I’m not as intimidating as they say.’’ I made sure my voice was smooth and filled with confidence, as always.

‘’Nervous? Is that another of your observations, Mr. Norris?’’

‘’It is,’’ I maintained eye contact as I took another sip of the Louis Roederer drink. At least they served some decent champagne. ‘’and I’m never wrong.’’

Another harsh bob of her throat.

I was aware of the fact I was on their list of business talks. Nate Thompson may be one of the most successful men at this event, but not nearly as successful as me. Like I said before, always be two steps ahead.

‘’Now, let’s cut straight to what brought you here. Let’s talk business, shall we?’’

TAGLIST

@smoooothoperator @tapedeck-hearts @cabbyhabs @wanderingreigns @samantha-chicago @alltoomaples @ironmaiden1313 @pinkbookloverslife @onlyzahraaaa

[sortofanobsession]

In the absence of light (Umbrella Academy Season 2) Chapter 4

Author's Note: This one is a bit all over but I didn't know where to separate it. So I just decided to post the section mostly as is.

@crazycatmaddy

So as it goes, Y/N = your name. Y/N/N = your nickname. Reader pronouns She/Her.

Tag Requests are Open just message me.

Primary Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Female!Reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Series/TUA Masterlist

Content warning: Canon typical drama, manipulation, firearms, arguing, violence, PTSD, sibling rivalry, the usual stuff.

But I still have a heart

Diego pulls his powerless sister behind him when the four of them are met by Elliot with a very distinct firearm. Five makes quick work of disarming the man. The female Hargreeves can’t help but feel useless and helpless again. Diego and Five deal with Elliot, not even noticing how their sister hugs herself.

"You alright?" Lila moves to stand in front of her.

"Yeah, just a fun reminder I am powerless and no help to anyone," the lowest of the Hargreeves siblings admits.

"I doubt that; if you can fight half as well as either of these idiots, then you are fine,” Lila says, gesturing to Five and Diego. “Please don't leave me with this lot."

The Eighth Hargreeves nods, but she is distracted. She finds the same photographs of her siblings that Five had seen. She looks at them one by one.

“Are these your other siblings?” Lila asks.

“Yes,” the saddened sibling states. She ignored her own pictures and focused on the ones of Klaus, Viktor, and Allison. She was used to worrying about Klaus, but she also knew her brother was pretty good at landing on his feet when he was sober enough to do so. And he had been completely sober when she last saw him. She missed him, but she knew he’d survived time travel once. No, she worried about Viktor and Allison the most. Viktor hadn’t even been conscious when Five started to use his powers on all of them. Allison’s vocal cords were too damaged for her to use her powers. Hopefully, her sister healed better than she had.

“Is this you?” Lila asks as she points at the photos of Y/N in the alley.

“Not my favorite day to think about,” the eighth sibling admits.

“If this was your state before you had dropped here, I can see why he was desperate to find you. Good thing the article didn’t have any photos like these.” Lila’s tempted to show them to Diego now, just to see his reaction. A painful reminder of his failure to protect the one person he had spent most of his life trying to protect. That would be entertaining. But the brothers seemed too caught up in whatever the creepy photographer guy said. Creepy to have pictures like this of people he didn’t know hung up in his home. And this was the guy Five trusted? Go figure.

Y/N is in shock as she sees the film, especially when she notices that their father is in it.

"He's here," she mutters to herself as Diego and Five discuss if he killed JFK. She hears none of it as the pulse in her ears drowns them out. Her hands started to shake as she thought about the last time she had seen her father. He had been livid that she was leaving. That she refused to spy on the others. He had tried to stop her from leaving. Demanding Luther as Number One stop her. Luther couldn’t have known back then why their father had tried to keep her leaving more than the others. Their father had already said all sorts of terrible things about her succumbing to weakness. That she was as pathetic as Klaus and no one out there would accept her. She was too different. He hadn’t been completely wrong. Very few people had accepted her. Viktor’s book at least helped her be viewed with sympathy. Sympathy wasn’t acceptance. She thought about Grace and Pogo finding small ways to help her and the others despite risking their father’s ire. They weren’t there to help them anymore. The weakened Hargreeves was more afraid of the fact their father would probably want to find out why her powers failed than she was of the idea she might never get her powers back. She doesn’t notice how Lila watches her. The newest member of their little group easily picks up on the shift in behavior.  

“Diego,” Lila calls. Diego wasn’t used to her calling him by his actual name. No snark. He looks over at her. She nods towards his sister. He sees what she trying to call to his attention instantly. Luz was staring at the image on the projector, but it didn’t look like she was actually seeing it. He’d seen plenty of damaged people in the psych ward with that thousand-yard stare. He calls her name. Five and Elliot look over when she doesn’t answer. Five tries, but she still seems lost to them. The brothers exchange a look before a worried Diego goes over to her.

"Luz?" Diego is in front of her. She finally looks up at him.

"Hmm?"

"Called your name a few times," he says.

"Oh, sorry," she says, " What's up?"

Five shrugs when Diego glances over at him. "Nothing,” Diego says, not wanting to make things worse. “You okay?"

"Dad's in Dallas," she says, her crestfallen tone doesn’t sit well with either of the brothers.

"He is," Diego agrees.

She looks away. "He would be mad if he knew I lost my powers. Without Pogo and Mom, No one will- He'll pick me apart and-"

"That won't happen," Five is quick to stop her.

"He doesn't even know us yet," Diego tries to soothe her worries.

"We don't exist to him." Five is quick to add. "Your anonymity will protect you."

"I'll protect you," Diego quickly offers, brushing his fingers across her cheek. Lila throws a balled-up piece of paper at his head. He corrects himself, “We'll protect you."

“You’re okay, Y/N/N,” Five tells her.

She wants to believe them, but can she? They can’t be with her 24/7. Diego and Lila were on the run. Five was too young, or at least looked like it, and Luther wasn’t always at the club. But she wasn’t going to tell them that. They had enough to worry about. She looks at her watch. “I should go,” she tells them as she get up. “I have a shift to prepare for.”

At the end of her shift she pulls Luther aside.

“Why are we doing this here?” he asks. “I’ll be home in-“

“Because the clock is ticking again, Luther,” she insists. “You wouldn’t believe what Five found. It’s-“

“Don’t care,” Luther says as he starts to walk back towards the club.

“I’m serious, Luther,” she cuts off his path as best she can. “Five and Diego need our help.” He could easily move her out of his way, but she is still his sister, and he still has the task of looking after her here. “Lila and Elliot are helpful and all but-“

“I’m serious too, Y/N,” he states. “You are in no condition to be going along with whatever half discussed plan those two have. And I’m too busy trying to keep a roof-“

“We don’t need the roof here if we can go back-“

He reaches for her arm and starts to lead her towards the car he had been loaned. “You need to go home, and forget-“

“THIS ISN’T OUR HOME, LUTHER!” She screams at him and tries to shove his hand away but it’s a futile effort. “HOME IS WITH OUR FAMILY!”

Luther is keenly aware of the few people that linger outside the club are now looking at them. Watching to see what the giant of a man is going to do to the comparatively tiny waitress. He drops her arm and takes a step back. He tries to think of how to calm her down, but he hadn’t seen her this mad since he locked Viktor in the bunker. He never knew how to handle her temper. Their siblings did, but Luther usually just let the fire in her fade. He should probably feel guilty that he’s glad she didn’t have the Wisp. She couldn’t burn him alive with the thing now. She was already drawing enough attention to them by arguing with him in the damn parking lot.

“Say what you want, just stop screaming,” he demands.

“This is bullshit,” she practically hisses at him, but she had lowered her tone enough that no one would know what she was saying. “You think that things aren't fair for you because you do all the work to keep me safe. That’s your damn job, Number One! You were so bitchy last time because no one respected you as Dad’s Number One! I did, Luther! I did and look where we are now. Look at me, Luther!” She snaps. “The Wisp is gone. My powers are gone, but even I am trying to fix this mess. Why aren’t you? Last time you were all about fixing shit, saving the world. Now? Nothing. You don’t care. Well I do. Don’t you miss the others? Don’t you miss Klaus? Viktor? I know you miss Allison.”

“That’s not-“ he starts but she isn’t finished.

“You wanted us to rely on you. Now I’m asking you, as the one sibling that does, to do the right thing. Please, Luther.”

“No,” he bluntly states as he shoves the car keys into her hand. She stares at him with angry, tear-filled eyes. But he won’t let her sad eyes work this time. “Go home. Better yet, go tell Five and Diego sending you to beg for them won’t work this time. You shouldn’t even be involved in any of this. Without your powers-“

“That’s right! I don’t have my powers, but I still have a heart. Did you lose yours when you landed in that stupid alley? Are you even happy here? Because I’m not. Do you think I enjoy being degraded by old creepy men that think how a waitress responds when they grab a girl's ass determines her tip? I am cold and scared, and I miss my family. And that roof you mention, my tips pay for most of what’s under it. I do everything you tell me to. I run your errands. You won’t let me take a break, let alone try to find the rest of our family. We need to find Allison. I need to find Klaus and Viktor. They-“

“You think I haven’t tried to find them? And all I do now I do is to protect you,” he counters. “You needed someone to take care of you, and I stepped up. Would you rather still be in that hospital or on the street? You’d probably be a warden of the state or, worse, dead. No powers. No documentation. Don’t act like you don’t need me.”

She was taken aback at the familiarity of his statement. It was very similar to the one that just seeing her father had brought back. Then again, what did she expect. He was Number One. “Then let me make this a hell of a lot easier for you,” she says as she shoves the keys into his chest. “You’ll be so glad when I’m someone else’s burden again, won’t you?”

He grips the keys tight and groans. He didn’t actually hate that she relied on him. She was one of his least annoying siblings. She’d just hit a sore spot with some of her points. Sure, he missed Allison, but he thought they had been doing okay before Five showed back up. They had a life here. “Come on, Y/N/N,” He starts to backtrack, but she is already halfway across the parking lot. “You know I didn’t mean it like that!”

She ignores him and hails a cab. Thankfully, the driver didn’t ask questions beyond where she was headed. She gave him Elliot’s address. He’d probably seen his fair share of tearful women trying to leave a painful situation. Probably thought she was a pathetic dame who caught her husband at the gentleman’s club one too many times. He couldn’t possibly know the truth.

Diego takes one at her after Elliot lets her in and sees red. Just seeing the mascara-stained tear tracks and red rimmed eyes is enough. He is ready to fight whoever has upset her. He’d burn Jack Ruby’s club to the ground if he must. His rage only grows when she tells him she had fought with Luther. Five barely manages to talk him down as Lila takes her to the bathroom and helps clean her up.

"There's that lovely face," Lila grins as she wipes the last of the makeup from the other’s face.

"Thank you," the female Hargreeves manages now that she is calm and clean.

"Anytime," Lila winks before she leads her out. The waitress is still in her skimpy little work outfit, and Diego can't remember if he'd ever seen her in anything like that before. His mouth goes dry. Even with her hair pulled back, no makeup and no powers, he still thinks she’s perfect.

Lila rolls her eyes.

"Easy lover boy, your girl is fragile," Lila says in a low tone as she pushes past him to sit on the couch and watch TV. Diego glares at her. But for the weaker sibling, that breaking of eye contact is like breaking a spell. She feels uneasy again. Like she still doesn't know who she really is. Diego sees the way her shoulders slump and she looks at the floor. Suddenly shy, despite the scandalous outfit for the time.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?” Diego asks. “Five says Luther is different, that he-"

She shook her head. "He just doesn't listen," she says as she sits down at Elliot's kitchen table. Her face in her hands for a moment. "And I don't get it. Last time stopping the apocalypse was his biggest priority, and now, he just doesn't care. He doesn't care if we ever go back. He doesn’t get that I have nothing here. This isn’t home. I want the chance to go home. Even if I never get my powers back, I just want to go home." She feels like she might cry again. Not thinking she reaches out for Diego. And without hesitation he goes to her. He kneels in front of her, one hand in hers, the other on her knee. It reminds her of when she sat in the infirmary while giving blood to Allison and wanted nothing more than to touch him. So, she does. She ghosts her fingers along the scar on his brow. He closes his eyes as she does. Just trying to believe this isn't some dream, and he'll wake up still in that damn padded room. He catches her wrist and kisses her palm.

"I'll do everything I can to get us back home. So, you can go back to that shitty boss of yours that doesn't respect your time. I'll give your stupid neighbors something they can’t ignore, and we can figure the rest out from there, how does that sound?"

"Eso suena como el cielo, cariño," she smiles and leans her forehead against his. "Absolutamente perfecto."

"Tu eres perfecta, mi luz." He pulls her forward and kisses her. She kisses back but pulls back far too soon in Diego's opinion.

"What about Lila?" she asks in a harsh whisper.

"Lila know I've been fighting to get back to you, she's-"

"Just a bit of fun, love," Lila says from where she watches the two of them with a grin. "Although, it still could be fun." She winks at the pair and disappears down the hall. Diego hadn't exactly expected that, but Lila was anything but predictable. And he found it adorable the way his luz blushed all the way to the tips of her ears at the suggestive comment.

"I mean, the outfit does give off a certain vibe, Luz," he grins. She blushes again and buries her face in his neck. He can't help but laugh.

"I missed you," she sighs against him.

"I missed you too, Luz. More than you could ever know."

She spent the night wearing Diego's shirt and in his arms. And after promising they would all behave and that it was only practical since there was only one room, Lila on her other side. She fell asleep safe, happy, and warm for the first time since she lost her powers.

Rough Translations:

"Eso suena como el cielo, cariño" = That sounds like heaven, darling

"Absolutamente perfecto." = Absolutely perfect.

"Tu eres perfecta, mi luz." = You are perfect, my light.

[dollopheadedmerlin]

Things that are happening to me soon that I am excited and anxious about

Moving into a new apartment! It will be my first time with my own bathroom and the first time I've felt like I've had a clean place to live.

I am potentially getting one or two new jobs! Eventually leaving my current one, thank goodness. One is at a confectionery and the other is at a boardgame shop! I also have a seasonal job as a scare actor coming up! If I get both of the jobs I want, that means I will have three jobs in October, which is scary since I've never even worked more than one job before, but they're all such great options, I think I can handle just sort of allocating October to work and getting back to personal stuff the months after.

I am getting a new crested gecko!! After two years of not having one since my beautiful Quasimodo passed away, I have one on hold that will be delivered to me after I move!! I am so excited to keep them again and hope to have more than one in the future!

I am speed running the dentist to try and get all of my cavities filled before I am booted off of my parent's insurance, but I love going to the dentist so that's fun! Idk why but even when I got my root canal I was like "this is great", aside from the money it costs of course. But one of my potential new jobs offers insurance so!!

Got an ipad! I am still trying to learn iOS as everything else I own is either windows, google, or android, but hopefully I can learn procreate and stuff to do more art away from my computer!!

I think once I'm settled in my new place and new jobs, I will have a lot more time and comfort to do personal projects like writing, art, cosplay, and youtube. I'm also just excited to feel more secure and have a home where I actually feel like I can comfortably host guests. I hope to see a lot more friends next year, and do a lil traveling, even if it is just to the next state over

[allthingsfook]

keeping this on anon to know your unbiased opinion

hi, i’m [insert name here] ;) (she/her). i’m like 5’2, on the petite side but kinda curvy, and i’m in my mid-20s. i have long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a beauty mark on the right corner of my mouth above my lip. i have four tattoos, five soon, with 3 of them having meaning and one being kinda on a whim, and only up to my doubles on piercings.

my hobbies are music, dance, anything nature related, collecting things (i collect snow globes and stickers, science-y shit, history shit, reading, and travel. i’m currently taking a year and a half off of school between my undergrad and masters to travel and enjoy this time in my life. when i go back i’ll enter a masters program for athletic training where i will hopefully work for a pro-team someday. i’ve thought about teaching at a dance studio recently because i used to dance and i love it (and miss it dearly).

about my zodiac… i’m a taurus sun, scorpio moon, aquarius rising, aries mercury, gemini venus and scorpio mars… i’m an astrology bitch lol. i definitely think i fit my chart. i am very loyal, reliable and honest. i am not one to sugar coat things and would rather face issues head on. i am also extremely protective of the people i love and would go to bat for them any day. and of course being mostly fixed i am very stubborn, but i can be pretty spontaneous too! my love language is quality time and physical touch. i also have a tendency to make things for those i love.

some extras: i am a vat of useless, but (usually) interesting knowledge. i did choir for 6 years and danced for about the same. i love harry potter, marvel, lord of the rings, star trek, etc. i love basically all kinds of music. i’m kinda like the ‘dad’ friend, ya know, the one who always drives, fixes things, usually has a game plan and good sense of direction. when i was young i taught myself how to play the organ. i’m randomly crafty. i have pretty good intuition, and can usually read people pretty well. lastly, i can be very loud, i’m not always, but when i need to be heard, i will be lol

sorry this was long hehe can’t wait :)

Ahhhh, awesome! I love getting anon ones to see if it’s accurate 🤩

I ship you with…

Danny ☺️

I don’t usually touch too much on physical appearance because these men are so much deeper than that, but I do usually talk about tattoos. As for Danny, I think he low key would like a girl with tattoos. He’d be so curious about whether it hurts or not and ask you about the meaning behind them. I feel like he’d expect everyone to have a story and sentimental value, but when you tell him about the one being on a whim he’d kinda like the idea. Overtime, his appeal to them would turn from curiosity to attraction. He’d often express you how sexy you’d look with more.

Danny seems like he was a kid who collected things as well, so he’d totally understand your affinity for collecting. The first time he brings you home to meet his family, he’d certainly take you to the huge Christmas store in Frakenmuth to get you a unique snow globe 😇 And he’d always come bearing gifts when he gets home from tour. Don’t imagine him in a local store, picking stuff up that reminds him of you. He’s supplying your trinket needs 😂

Danny would support you in taking time away from school, realizing it can be extremely exhausting. He’d encourage you to travel, experiment, and relax in the mean time. Maybe even invite you on tour for a week! When you decide you are ready to head back for your masters, he’d be so proud of you. He’d definitely talk you up and brag to others 😏 Going for athletic training would peak his interest when you first meet. He’d question about that with genuine curiosity, which makes you feel special and appreciated. Inevitably, that conversation would segway to golf ⛳️ Hopefully you have at least the slightest interesting in it to coexist with Danny 😁 You’d definitely walk into the living room to see him polishing his clubs on the coffee table one day!

Let’s see if I can do the astrology compatibility justice here *cracks knuckles* You being a Taurus not only means you’d jive with the twins, but also have a strong bond with Daniel. Capricorns and Taurus’ have a extremely trusting foundation to their relationships. Capricorns have little desire to lie, which makes Taurus’ feel safe. Both signs are typically on the same page about being discreet about the relationship. Not necessarily hiding it, but enjoying it for who matters most…. EACH OTHER!!! This is quite important because of Danny’s status; key to both of your mental health. Capricorns are notorious for never knowing when they need a break. Living the lifestyle he does, it’s easy for everything to stack up. You would have to help Danny identify that for himself. Running away from his work isn’t always an option, so experimenting with relaxation techniques when you are together will help him make them a habit on the road. Not only will it help him decompress, it will remind him of you 🤍 Due to your sign’s characteristics, Danny would admire your charisma, good taste, stability, and the way you present yourself. Because of his work schedule, your support, accommodation, and affection would solidify his love for you.

Moving on, Danny would come to appreciate and love your “useless” knowledge and the timing in which you decide to use it 😂 I think you and Danny would bond over a lot of your interests. He’s definitely a Marvel and LOTR guy! Most definitely will have an annual marathon of both! It’s a huge must to love all music as Danny is always dabbling with many genres. He’d introduce you to all sorts of artists to which you’ll come to love not only because they are good, but because they remind you of him when he’s away. Danny would love the fact you are a self made organist of sorts 😂 Most of the boys taught themselves the plethora of instruments they play, so they will understand the discipline and commitment it took to learn that at such a young age. Danny would beg you to play for him once in a while ✨

I hope this is ship is pretty head on for you! Please let me know, I love to hear so or if not too! 💕

[faofinn]

Day 21 - Field Medicine

@mediwhumpmay

“Are we nearly there?”

Fao rolled his eyes and smacked his brother lightly on the thigh. “Finn I swear to God if you say that one more time I'll do 30 the rest of the way there.”

“I’ve only asked it like ten times. Wait until you’ve got kids.”

“If I wanted kids, I'd have kids. You're fucking 25. Look it up on your phone if you want to know.” He teased. 

“Such a grump.”

“And you're surprised?”

“We’re on holiday, you’re meant to be happy.”

“I am happy, I'm back home.”

“Tell your attitude that.” Finn yawned as he tried to stretch out.

“I'd be happier if I wasn't driving a literal child.”

“I’m not a child! You said yourself I’m 25.”

“Acting like you're five.”

“You’re acting like you’re five.” Finn grumbled back. 

Fao laughed. “If you're really that desperate to know, we're about twenty minutes away.”

“Forever away. Want a snack?”

“Sure, if you've not eaten them all.”

“Saved you some.” Finn struggled to keep a straight face as he passed Fao half a crisp. “There you go.”

Fao rolled his eyes, taking the crisp and throwing it back at Finn. “Aw, you shouldn't have.” He replied, laughing. 

“Seriously though, what do you want?”

“Whatever you've got, you know I'm not fussy.”

“That’s a lie.” He laughed in response, passing Fao a snack for real. “We’ve still got plenty of stuff if you’re hungry. Mum made emergency sandwiches.”

“Mum makes emergency everything.” Fao replied. “We'll eat for real when we get there.”

“I hope so.”

“Promise.”

“Full three course meal.”

“Well, I wouldn't go quite that far.”

“I would. I’m starving.”

“I'm a good cook but I'm not that good.”

“Should have got a cottage.”

“You wanted to camp!”

“Yeah, well!” Finn was stumped for an answer.

“You can't be pissy with me for listening to you.”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Sure.”

“Come on, it'll be fun. We're gonna roast marshmallows.”

“I can tell you about the stars, if we see them.”

“Yeah, exactly. Hopefully the clouds will clear.”

“It’s not London. You’ll actually be able to breathe.”

Fao laughed. “I've not been able to breathe for years. Beginning to doubt I even have lungs.”

“Smoking does that to you.”

“Ah, save me the lecture. I get it from Mum every time I go home.”

Finn grinned at Fao. “Can’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

“Yeah, yeah.”

There was a pause, Finn looking at his phone for a moment before he spoke. “How-”

“Fucking hell, Finn! It’s two minutes from the last time I told you!” Fao exclaimed. 

Soon enough they reached Fao’s place, and got their little campsite set up. It had been a long day travelling, and they were glad to get the tent up and the fire going. After that they ate, laughing and joking between themselves. 

Once they’d finished eating, they toasted marshmallows, Finn deliberately trying to steal Fao’s. More laughter ensued, and they spent a while afterwards just sitting by the fire enjoying the warmth. That was when Finn turned to him, a grin on his face. 

“I’m hungry.”

“Finn, you literally just ate.” 

“And? I’m hungry again.”

“Jesus. Fine, let’s go get some snacks or something.” Fao grumbled, standing up and grabbing his keys. 

"You should have packed better."

“I packed fine!” Fao protested. “You’re just eating me out of house and home.”

"I'm growing."

“You’re an adult, you’re not growing!” Fao unlocked the car, getting in and waiting for Finn to join him. The village near to his big house was small, but there was a little shop he could keep Finn happy by buying some snacks. Halfway there, Fao frowned. “I think we’re being followed.”

"You didn’t tell anyone, did you?" Finn glanced in the mirror. "I can't read the reg from here."

“I only told Dad.” Fao said. “Nobody else, I swear. Think you could get the reg if I brake test him?”

"Don't crash into anything." He muttered, twisting in his seat to have a better view. "Ready?"

The stretch of road was straight, Fao would have plenty of time. He knew he was testing the limits, this could end badly, but he had to try. 

“Ready.” He checked his mirror, eased off the accelerator and hit the brakes sharply, hoping to reduce the distance between them and the other car. 

Finn struggled to read the reg behind him, but quickly made a note. It wasn’t one of theirs, and not one he recognised as being on their lists. His frown deepened, and he reached for his phone to text Fred.

"It's not a plate I recognise." He murmured. "Maybe they're just being a dick? Take a few turns and see if they drop off."

Fao had caught enough of it, and quickly sped up again. “Not one of Tomas’, either, I don’t think. I’ll see if we can lose them.”

"Maybe just an arse on the roads. There's plenty of them."

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

"Youre one of them." He tried to joke. 

“Careful, or you can walk.” 

"Go on, I dare you."

“I will!”

As they drove, Fao taking endless turns, he was sure he’d managed to lose the car that had been following them. He was still on edge, though, as they pulled up outside the shop and hopped out. He had an unsettled feeling, as his brother dragged him round, constantly on edge. 

He was right to be worried, because moments later there was an almighty crash, followed by an even louder explosion. 

The explosion had Finn shoved away from Fao, the flash and noise disorienting him further. The pain came next, burning down his abdomen and leg, blood already dripping in his eyes. 

It ripped through the building, tearing walls apart and showering bricks everywhere. Fao was knocked to the ground, his ears ringing, and it took him a moment to recover. When he did, he was aware of the searing pain in his shoulder, the tingling in his fingers. Almost certainly dislocated, he realised sluggishly. As he took stock of the rest of his body, the headache was something, distracting enough, but nothing else seemed bad. Coughing, he forced himself to his knees, his bad arm held close to his chest the best he could. 

“Finn!”

There was rubble and debris everywhere, the air thick and choking. Finn struggled to get a breath in, his chest tight and each breath a stab of agony. He tried and failed to sit up, instinctively curling onto his side. This was going to be how he was going to die.

Finn didn’t respond, only fuelling Fao’s anxiety. He struggling to his feet, hauling himself up. He seemed to take weight okay, but his knee twinged and definitely wasn’t comfortable. He didn’t have much of a choice, he needed to get to his brother. 

“Finn!” He called again. “Where are you?!”

"Fa-" Finn broke off, coughing again. Spots danced in his vision and he dropped his head back to the concrete. 

Finn’s cough was just about enough for Fao to find where he was and he rushed towards him as best he could. When he found him, he fell to his knees, reaching for him. 

“I’m here, I’m here.”

Finn managed to grab at Fao's hand, gripping it as tight as he could. They'd be fine if they were together. 

Fao squeezed his hand. “I’ve got you. Just breathe.”

If only it was that easy. He could feel the dizziness pulling at him, the darkness teasing him with emptiness and pain free.

Fao could see him giving up. “Hey, hey, no. Stay with me, that’s it. What hurts?”

What didn't? He could have laughed, but that was just energy he didn't have. He forced his eyes open again, trying to focus on Fao’s face. 

“That’s it, look at me. I know it sucks, I know. Can you let go of my hand so I can have a look at you?”

"Don't go." He managed, voice cracked. 

“I’m not going, I just need my hand.”

He let go of Fao’s hand, letting it drop to the ground by his side. "I want to go home."

“Me too.” Fao murmured, looking over him. 

"Sorry." 

“It’s alright. Let’s just look after you.” He murmured. He could see the blood on his forehead, but that wasn’t what was concerning him the most. With the hand that he could use properly, he skimmed over Finn, feeling for blood, for pain, anything that could tell him what was going on. 

Finn winced, biting his already bloody lip to stop the scream that was building. He knew Fao had to check; he could feel the break to his ribs himself, and he knew they were the least of his problems. 

“I know, I know.” Fao tried to soothe. He could feel the ribs himself, but there wasn’t much he could do about them. 

As Fao’s hands reached his leg, Finn shoved them away. "Off."

“I need to check Finn.” Fao said, reaching for his knife. It was easy enough to cut Finn’s trousers, and then at least he could see what he was dealing with.

"Fao, no." His voice cracked again, choking on the thickness of the air. Panic flared through him as the pain took over, pushing him under. 

Fao swore to himself, but it was easier with Finn unconscious. The leg was in bad shape, the ankle obviously broken and his knee badly dislocated. Fao reached with his bad arm and swore at himself, pain lancing through it. Stupid thing. There was a cut above his eye which was stinging with sweat and bleeding stubbornly down his face, and he wiped it away roughly. He needed to focus. The leg looked like the worst of it for Finn, but as he watched him breathe he realised his brother was struggling. If only he had some kit, anything. This was so hard flying completely blind. 

Finn didn't bother moving as he came to, too much of his energy just being spent on breathing. Even that wasn't enough, feeling like he was trying to breathe from underwater. The more the dust settled, the more the thoughts became clearer. If whoever had done this had a tiny bit of brain, they'd make sure the job was done, and done completely. Not wanting to stay the sitting duck he was, Finn fidgeted, only growing more agitated against Fao's hands as he tried to find his gun. 

“Finn, Finn. Settle, it’s okay.” Fao told him. 

Maybe Fao had his, a moment of slight clarity from Finn before he tried to reach for his brother’s gun. "Not bein' a duck."

“A duck? Fucking hell, you are concussed.” Fao muttered, moving Finns hands away from him. “Relax, okay? I’m not finished checking you over.”

"Need…need the gun."

“No. I need you to stay still.”

"They're gon-gonna be here."

“I’m trying to help. I can’t help if you keep moving.”

"They're not the ducks." Finn managed, frustrated. "Up."

“Good fucking luck getting up on that leg.” 

"Then help."

“I can’t, I need you to stay put.” He said. The dark patch on Finn’s top was worrying him, and his breathing was getting worse. 

"Please." He started coughing, specks of blood collecting on the concrete.

That wasn’t a good sign. Fuck. Why did this have to happen here, with no resources? He hoped emergency services were coming, but it already felt like an eternity. Maybe it wasn’t safe yet. Fao’s head was still pounding, every cough from Finn just jolting it and making it so much worse. He swiped at the cut on his brow again, and couldn’t work out if the blood on his hands was his or Finn’s. 

Finn had managed to get more upright, but it barely lasted a moment. His chest pulled and darkness loomed wit each forced inhale. He twisted to grab at something, but the movement made everything so much worse. He pitched forward into Fao's chest.

Fao groaned. “Fuck, Finn. Lay down, Jesus.” 

"Help me then." He slurred, though didn't dare move. 

“I’m trying!” Fao snapped. “But you’re not fucking listening to me!”

He pulled away at that. "Fuck you, then."

“Jus’ do as I fucking say!”

There was a flash of hurt across his face, confusion at why his brother would snap at him when he was just trying to get some help. It didn't last long, crumpling back onto the ground, his head bouncing off the concrete. With a bit of space between the two, and despite the thickness of the air, it was all too obvious that Finn was very not well. 

He was paler than usual, his hair matted with blood and dust. The worst, more worrying sign was the cyanosis to his lips, and, as he lay still, the hiss to his chest with each forced breath. 

Fao winced. He’d not meant to snap like that, but he was so stressed, so anxious about the whole situation, he’d just lost it with his brother. Hopefully he wouldn’t really remember it. He adjusted his focus to Finn’s chest, concern building as his brother struggled for each breath. He had no chest X-ray, no stethoscope, nothing, but he knew things weren’t right. The wound on Finns chest was a massive cause for concern, and he knew it was more than likely his brother had a collapsed lung. But how the fuck was he supposed to fix that in the rubble of a little shop? 

Now Finn couldn’t fuss when he left, Fao could get up and look for supplies. There wasn’t a lot, but something was surely better than nothing. Something to stop the bleeding, alcohol to disinfect, some stuff he was hoping he could fudge into a chest drain of sorts. Maybe that would give Finn enough relief until they could get help. He found his phone then, it finally occurring to him to use it, and was relieved it had a tiny bit of signal. If proper services weren’t coming, he’d take matters into his own hands. 

It was Harrison that answered Fao’s call, half asleep and confused. "What's happening?"

“Hars.” Fao rasped, relieved he’d answered. “I need you to go and wake Fred. Finn and I-“ He broke off to cough. “We’ve been hit.”

"What? Fuck, where are you? What's happened?"

“Some co-op near the house. I don’t know, we were followed an’ then…” He trailed off. “Finn’s in bad shape.”

Harrison could feel the fear from Fao. "How badly?"

“Bad. I think he’s got a pneumo, he’s struggling, and his leg’s fucked. I’m going to have to do a drain.”

"Have you got kit?" Harrison was struggling to get sorted. "I can scramble the heli?"

“I’ve got nothing.” Fao admitted. “Bottle of vodka and a knife. I’m going to need something.”

"I'll get everyone going." Harrison said. "Just keep him stable."

“I’ll send my location.” Fao muttered. 

"I'm just getting Steve up, we'll get the team to you, yeah? Just hold on."

“Tell Fred that reg was important, I’m sure of it.” Fao muttered. He let Harrison go to sort everything out, whilst he had to focus on Finn. There wasn’t much he could do, he knew that, but he had to try. The fact he was still unconscious was worrying, but it worked in his favour. His chest was not good at all, the blue tinge to his lips just compounding that. The side with the injury was more pressing, but he wouldn’t be surprised with the way finn was struggling if both sides were compromised in some way. 

He awkwardly opened the bottle of vodka, trying not to think about what he was doing. He doused his knife, equipment and Finn’s skin, as well as his hands, and looked for his landmarks. He really, really didn’t want to do this, but he didn’t have a choice. He needed to work quickly, in case his brother came round again, and made the cut. It was hard, his broken ribs blurring landmarks, but he got where he needed to be, making the cut deeper to get all the way through. It was hard with one fully working arm, but he had to carry on.  He had a straw, which was completely shit, but it would do the job, just until the team got there. That’s what he hoped, anyway. He hated every second of what he was doing, the smell of the vodka burning his nose, but he got it in and the blood came rushing out, soaking into his jeans. It was partially fear, partially relief that Fao felt. It was good that he was going some of the way to fixing the issue, but it was a lot of blood for Finn to be losing.

[peachypede]

Oooo hopefully these weren't already mentioned but how about 🎶 and 🔱 for Aman, Calhoun, and the berries! Hope your day has been well 😊🩷

I am back home and feeling a lot better than I was haha. Being a homebody and pregnant made me realize how much I truly hate traveling oof -.-'

ask meme is here

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

Pecha

Pop and Indie Rock. She's the type to hear a song that sounds really good to her and then constantly listen to it for the rest of the week. She has a couple of artists and bands that she likes like Beach Bunny, Olivia Rodrigo... (or the pokemon equivalents) but she doesn't really keep up to date with them either. She likes music that fits her vibes at the moment and thus her music taste can be very spontaneous.

When she was a teen, though, she was a big kpop boy band fan and a Piers fan, mostly because she had insane crushes on whoever was singing.

Rawst

Video Game Soundtracks. Although he likes a lyriced song every now and then, he's a big fan of music he can just mindlessly listen to without being distracted by voices. Sonic Mania is one of his favorites. What's nice about soundtracks is that he can play them in the background during chill streams.

IF he does listen to a lyrical song, then it's definitely from a Persona game or again, Sonic.

Aman

Oldies, but mostly 70s and 80s. Partially because Hassel and Brassius would only listen to that when he was a kid, but also because he doesn't really like modern music. His favorite bands/artists are Depeche Mode, Prince, and Yellow Magic Orchestra.

Also listens to a lot of Japanese (Sinnohan in this universe I guess) City Pop because it reminds him of the stuff his mother used to listen to.

Calhoun

Doesn't really listen to music? Enjoys 80s because that's what he listened to in his teens, but honestly he doesn't listen to much because of how often he's out in the wilderness. He grew up in a busy lifestyle with Rich parents and a constantly crowded and loud environment from the get togethers his parents would host. Even in his older age, he's tired of it. He's grown a fondness for the music nature plays instead. There's nothing better than Kricketots and Kricketune's chirping at night.

🔱 TRIDENT EMBLEM — can your oc swim? do they enjoy swimming?

Pecha

Yep! Cal made sure that both of his kids learned to swim since they were little. Pecha likes to go swimming but prefers wadding in rivers or the ocean because she likes exploring nature more than the physical exercise.

Rawst

Yes. Like Pecha, he was taught by Cal, but Rawst dislikes swimming due to how revealing normal swimsuits are. He's insecure about his body, particularly his chest, so he usually wears a tshirt or hoodie over his swim trunk and sits outside the water at swimming parties or events.

Aman

Yes mostly because an Interpol Agent needs to be ready to swim if the situation calls for it. He doesn't really enjoy it because swimming with his prosthetics (no matter how waterproof they are) can be cumbersome. He likes a swim party but he's either wading or out of the water.

Calhoun

Yes and he loves it. Mostly in nature though like in rivers, lakes, or the ocean because he can check for any bugs types that might be there. He's pretty fit, so swimming for physical exercise doesn't deter him but he's similar to his daughter where he likes exploring more than swimming itself.

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 11/26/2022

Oh, I was doing so well...

this could be permanent you know is very close to completion. I am on the literal last scene of the fanfic. It just happens to be a very long and important scene. I probably would be done now, if it weren't for Thanksgiving, because I had to spend all of Wednesday baking and then Thursday and Friday were mostly taken up with traveling and eating and being social, and now my momentum is in tatters.

I really don't have very much left to go-- I have to finish the scene I'm on, of course, and there were two things that I forgot to put in and want to go back and see if I can, and there is one chapter that I didn't like the ending, so I may see if there's anything I can do about that. Then I have to reread all six chapters and send them to the beta. I have not particularly wanted to re-read my own writing lately, which is a thing that sort of comes and goes. On one hand, when I enjoy re-reading, it wastes a lot of time because I'd rather re-read than write new, but on the other hand, I catch a lot more errors and end up with a much more polished end product.

Anyway, The Work for this week added up to 5444, which is distinctly Not Bad considering how much time I lost to Festivities. I'm really pleased, actually, because I should be able to finish up the actual writing of the thing by or just past the end of November. That leaves me all of December to do Renruki week stuff. I'm hoping the combination of short projects should go well with Christmas hassle (I did put up half my lights today because the weather was nice). I am pretty sure I am going to take up the next part of Heart is a Muscle again in January. Take me home...country roads...to Soul Society...where I belong. I yearn to once again write Byakuya being aggravated by the irksome presence of his lieutenant and also Zabimaru being a gigantic pain in the ass. Anyway, that's looking too far ahead, I gotta keep my eyes on the prize. Hopefully I'll have some fic for you in December!

Oh, also, I have been very neglectful in answering my ao3 comments, and I have not forgotten you, it's just that it really derails my brain to do those, so I've been trying to pound this out and then get back to them. I also closed my asks for the same reason, in case you were wondering. Thank you all for your patience with me, as always!

[bearhedge]

Oh my goodness!!! I lost all of my text!!!??

Tumblr!!! What happened...!!!?? Why did you let me exit!?

- Hedgy

PS: It is difficult for me at times when I'm reminded by how Heteronormative society is, and maybe one day I can find a way to find equilibrium again. What I can do is be hopeful that there are women out there who understand the importance of encouraging the people around them to celebrate stories of Healthy Sapphic Couples.

I am happy Debbie found her person though. I am still hopeful that the next entry will include couples who aren't straight passing. Maybe even a Sapphic Couple!!!

Meanwhile? Here are my other favourites from Debbie's first memoir...

#1 - Marriage Pro / Con

I feel like Bear would be a bit like this. Though I realise I also have a practical side understanding where Debbie was coming from.

(Part of me kind of hopes that Debbie shared some of the items on her list in one of her Instagram posts. 😃 )

#2 - The Wrong Decision

I'm somehow reminded how helpful Logan Ury's book was ('How to Not Die Alone') and I was reminded that it's about finding a person who reached my standards and making it work for them .

[Sigh]

A bit of this section got lost. I mean...am my saving it in the wrong way!?

☹️☹️☹️☹️🙁

But I have to just accept what happened and move on. Hopefully I was able to recreate what I wrote closely enough to the original thought.

Nooooo!!! It happened again!!!!!

😐😐😐😐😐

The third one completely disappeared!!!! And lots of stuff got lost in that. This is worse than Instagram!

Okay....it seems like every update, I have to scroll back up and reload. Because if I don't...somehow the User Interface thinks I'm back in time and it's that specific version I want

#3 - Confirmation

I wish there was something I can say to Bear where she can excitedly look forward to more of our future and how our future home might be like.

But I remind myself that she and I already have that. We are prepping for future events. I can remind myself how blessed I am that I crossed paths with the Love Of My Life at the absolute perfect time.

It doesn't make Bear less sad that she and I didn't have this 35 Year History between us. She does wish that we met so much earlier. I asked her if she had a chance to Time Travel, if she would have wanted to wait for me. She wanted to. She would have if given the chance. That she wouldn't want to have invested her heart and time to any other person.

I tell her that she's My Person because of all her disappointments and heartbreaks...though I understand that it doesn't fix her grief for the time we could have had.

#4 - The Importance Of Validation

Is what keeping us from holding space for each person we meet the culture dictating that we have to fix others instead of letting them know that they know them best instead of us?

(I'm also wondering if Debbie was talking to a longtime friend. Or her mother?)

------------

[callmeblake]

Part 2 from a leathermouth interview on jerseybeat february 11th 2009

see part 1, part 3, part 4

Q: That’s a great answer, actually. So, the video for “Bodysnatchers 4Ever” is due out I guess today – can you tell us anything about it? (Writer’s note: At press time, the video had not yet been released to the public.)

F: Yeah! Well, really, it keeps in the style with doing everything ourselves. It orignally started as: I wanted to make a film that would go along with the record, so I went to my friend, Dane Castoro. He kind of blows me away with his talent in editing and directing - he makes short films on his own. So, we got together in my basement and backyard and started to come up with concepts for the movie. Because of time constraints and just lack of…coincidences, I think, we couldn’t finish the movie in time for the record to come out.

So, what I did was, I kinda cut out pieces from the twenty minute film and did a video out of it – so it’s highly edited. I think the storyline is very blurred right now, but hopefully in maybe another time we can finish the film and the story will actually be seen – but it’s really just a nightmare sequence. There were four people really involved – me, Dane, his girlfriend and another friend, and we just kinda sat around and filmed stuff. I’m really happy with the way it came out – it took a long time to edit it and do a lot of stuff and post. We really wanted to go for this feel where these tapes were found and let the viewer kinda interpret things about it. I’m really proud of it – I’ve never directed anything; I’ve never done anything with films before, and I’ve always wanted to. But this is my first attempt at it, so I hope it works out.

Q: Was it a weird shift to make for you or did you like totally embrace it?

F: Well, the technical side was the problem, and that’s where Dane came in so amazingly. I didn’t know shit about how to film or how to edit things; I used all his knowledge for that – that made it a lot easier.

Q: Mm hm – I’ve seen the sneak peak; it’s really interesting. It reminds me of an old-time silent movie; it’s a really cool effect.

F: Yeah, that’s what we were kinda going for.

Q: It’s awesome. What's the symbolism, by the way, behind you always being the one killed in the press photos?

F: (laughing) Well, I told Epitaph I didn’t want do press photos where my face was being seen so much – there were a few got out there that kinda weren’t supposed to be released. But I said that I would only show my face if I could have it smashed. So that was kind of the idea that me and Jamie came up with.

Q: (laughing) Oh, that’s awesome! So, you've listed the lyrics to "Leviathan" as EVP - so you're saying it was written by the dead?

F: Um, it’s more of a lend to channeling things that are around you and being almost a medium for that – and also having a breakdown as well. There’s a small sequence of lyrics that I do go back to, and they are kind of set, but for the most part, I like it to change every time. It’ll change depending on, based on everything – where I am at that point in time, what happened in my day; it’s just an open-ended thing, where I’m feeling things inside and channeling that.

Q: Ah, that’s interesting, so basically no one’s ever hearing the same song twice.

F: Right.

Q: That’s cool. Um, most hardcore band moment you've witnessed so far?

F: Hm, oh man…

Q: Come on, you have to have a good story!

F: It’s really, I mean, to me, the most hardcore moments are doing it – like traveling with no means…(chuckles) This is one of my favorite experiences: we had a show up on Long Island – this wasn’t with LeATHERMØUTH, this was with another band I was in – our van broke down just in the middle of the LIE and we had to push it to the side. So, it was either get it towed home – because we had like two miles left on one person’s AAA card – or get it towed to the show and then just figure it out. So we towed it to the show, played the show – and not all of us could fit in the tow truck, so some of us had to hide in the back of the van with the equipment. So we kind of hung out inside until the thing came, and I think we got home at like 10:00 in the morning, because he cops had to…I don’t know, we had to like finagle something to get home. To me, that was the biggest hardcore moment.

Q: (laughing) That’s definitely hardcore – that’s like trying to sneak out of another country illegally!

F: Yeah, you do or die!

Q: I guess anybody that went to that show had to go “Look what these people did just to get here, I mean, come on!”

F: (laughing) Yeah, that was a kind of funny moment, when the broken-down van pulls up behind this like sirened tow truck and then it gets lowered – we’ve gotta get out of the tow truck – and as soon the tow truck leaves, you kind of sneak the guys out of the back that weren’t supposed to be in the back with the equipment, so…

Q: (laughing) I’m not here, I’m just walking behind this amp!

F: Exactly!

Q: You've done lot of shows now already, with this band – what’s your favorite moment so far?

F: I like it when people obviously don’t get it, and are visibly annoyed (we both laugh) – those are some of my favorite moments. But, we’ve been fortunate enough that a lot of people are really enjoying it, and have been coming out; whether it’s from myspace or just hearing the record.

Q: They’re singing along, so you’ve got good fans.

F: That’s a real inspiring moment, when people are singing your words back to you. I’ve been lucky enough to experience that a couple of times, and it’s really some of the best feelings I’ve ever had.

Q: That’s gotta be incredible! Um, I actually have a few more: what I wanted to ask you is: you’re touring with a different lineup than you recorded with; was that a smooth adjustment to make?

F: Um yes, but it also wasn’t really that bad – I mean with the original lineup, we’d only really played like two or three shows, and that was spread out over at least six months. And the only reason for that was that our schedules just weren’t really working together. When I would come home from tour, someone’d be like “Oh, there’s a show, do you wanna play?” I mean, there was no real demand I guess for a tour or anything at that time, because we didn’t really have any songs yet, so both shows we played were really only like six or seven song sets. So it was just getting our feet into the water, and then when the touring lineup came together, that’s when we really started to play and get together like all the songs we had.

Q: That’s gotta be incredible! Um, I actually have a few more: what I wanted to ask you is: you’re touring with a different lineup than you recorded with; was that a smooth adjustment to make?

F: Um yes, but it also wasn’t really that bad – I mean with the original lineup, we’d only really played like two or three shows, and that was spread out over at least six months. And the only reason for that was that our schedules just weren’t really working together. When I would come home from tour, someone’d be like “Oh, there’s a show, do you wanna play?” I mean, there was no real demand I guess for a tour or anything at that time, because we didn’t really have any songs yet, so both shows we played were really only like six or seven song sets. So it was just getting our feet into the water, and then when the touring lineup came together, that’s when we really started to play and get together like all the songs we had.

Q: Yeah, that first show was sort of sprung on you last minute, wasn’t it, if I remember correctly? It was a last minute decision, like “Hey, can you be here in two days?”

F: Mm hm, exactly. We did like a CMJ show. We hadn’t planned on playing a show or anything, I was just like “Oh hey, I’m in town this week.” There was an opening spot on the showcase, and I got the call. I was like “Alright, let’s see if everybody can do it” and we did it.

Q: Yeah, you pulled it out – you have to roll with it sometimes.

Q: Yeah, you pulled it out – you have to roll with it sometimes.

F: Yeah, that’s the fun of the band, and also the fun behind the record – even recording some of these songs – have the sense of urgency that you get; you have that first take and you just put it out there. I think that with the recorded aspect of this band, it needed to be that way. If it was overproduced or even thought about beyond a couple of takes, it wouldn’t be the same.

Q: Yeah, you’re right – I actually was reading a little from the people that had been following this band since the beginning, and they were hoping that it wasn’t going to deviate too far from the demos; they liked that they were dirty.

F: Right, and I think that really encompasses the band –to hear it in any other way, I don’t think it would be as special.

Q: Yeah, it has to be sort of seat-of-your-pants.

part 3 (link coming)

[yumeasmrscript]

[Part 6] Cuddling with the Wizard after a fight [M4A] [Fantasy] [Neko Listener] [Cute] [Romance] [Cuddling] [Fluff] [Arguing] [Confession?]

Author notes: And of course I’m late again, I’m so, so sorry! But here I am with a new part of the Wizard x Neko series! I can’t believe we got this far, and I appreciate so much all of the fills this story received and the comments the listeners left on their videos, you guys are so heart warming I can’t ;;;

As always feel free to make edits for sfx or text if you want, as long as the characters/story stay the same! English is not my first language, so if you read things that sounds weird, feel free to fix it however you like it.

Hope you will like part 6 too, and see you in part 7!

Summary: The Wizard returned after his trip to buy a grimoire that will hopefully help to lift your curse. Although he’s tired from the journey, he chooses to sacrifice his sleep to keep working and studying, especially after realizing something about your curse that worries him. Feeling guilty at seeing him like that, you decide to confront him, starting your first real argument.

____________

[Action/things happening/Moods]

Thinking/emphasis on words

[Door opening, door closing]

[Tired] [Sigh] I’m finally back… that took a lot more than I expected. I thought it was just four days, and it ended up lasting a whole week. Ugh, I’m so tired. I couldn’t wait to get home again.

Aaand I got my hands on that grimoire, which also is much more bigger than I thought. Well… I don’t want to waste more time. [Frustrated] I swear, snow is amazing and stuff, but it really gets in the way when it comes to traveling. But again, why would you offer me a ride during winter if you can’t travel in snow too?! That’s like… the most predictable thing that can happen in winter. Wasted money, wasted time.

[Sigh] [Tired] Given the hour, they should be asleep right now, I need to be quiet… I wouldn’t want to wake them up. [Happy/grateful] I can see they have been keeping this place with care, everything is where it’s supposed to be. Oh, they also refilled a few ingredients! They make it so much more easier for me… They have been helping so much, I have to return the favor.

[Yawn] Okay, let’s go downstairs in my study. The night is young… just a few pages and I’ll go to sleep. Yeah, just… a few pages. Maybe a few experiments.

[Footsteps]

[Still tired, but focused] Alright, let’s see… Nature of curses, types of curses… These… these are all of the currently existing curses?! The book I have only have this little compared to the grimoire. Hopefully it’s a good sign.

[Turning a few pages]

[Annoyed] Why would wizards even create different kind of curses for the same thing though? If there is already a way to do it, why create a new- oh, right. “A new curse is created as a way to reduce the chance of reversing it and side effects by perfecting it”. Is this grimoire reading my mind? [chuckle]. Seriously though, there are so many different ways to cast a curse that will turn a human into an animal… I wonder which one did the other wizard use? [Sigh] [sad] Finding a way to lift it without knowing exactly how the curse was given, it’s like going in blind.

[A little bit more confident] To begin with, I can confidently exclude all of these, as the curse only affects how the brain works, and not the body. But… wait, there’s more here…

[Shocked] What- oh, no. [Anxiety rising] Shit, shit shit! I… I need to hurry. I need to find a solution, I-

[Panicked footsteps] My books… [frustrated] why didn’t they say such a thing?! And I even reassured them about it… I told them that it wasn’t a problem, until the curse was completed…

[More rushed footsteps] [More anxiety] It wasn’t just a “feeling” when they said that sometimes they feel like loosing sight of their humanity. If… if that’s how the things are, if the more time they spend in both forms, the more the body will have to adjust to fit one shape or the other, as it can’t have “both”, depending on how much the curse has already affected the body, than that means… their body is slowly turning into…

[Frustrated] I… I didn’t know. I’m such an idiot for believing that if there wasn’t anything written about it in my manual, then the issue didn’t existed at all. How long do they have left? [Panicked] I need to tell them to stop shape-shifting into a cat… or it might accelerate the process. I- I have to...

[Sound of bottles breaking] Damn it… I need to be more careful. And quiet.

[Sigh] [Trying to calm down] So it doesn’t matter if they escaped in the middle of the spell. Once it’s chanted, it’s only a matter of time before the body will adjust itself to a shape or another… depending on what curse was used, and if the curse was completed or not. If they escaped right away, it probably would have reversed on its own, but that’s clearly not the case and-

[Surprised] Huh? Oh, hey… [apologetic] I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up.

Yes, I’m… back. I’m sorry it took longer than I told you, unfortunately the weather didn’t help.

[Gentle] Aww… I missed you too, kitty. [Chuckle] Of course you can hug me, why would you even ask? Come here.

[Pause for a few seconds, hair stroking, heartbeats]

[A little bit chill]Oh, the journey? It was… boring, honestly. But, I got you something from the capital!

[Gentle] Hey, don’t give me that look. After buying the grimoire I thought “if I’m going to be broke, might as well be broke all the way” [chuckle]. Here it is: a handmade wooden carillon. I know sometimes you have hard time falling asleep, it’s not like I can’t hear you tossing and turning, you know? So I thought… maybe this could help you when you can’t fall asleep easily.

[Key of the carillon turning, music starts to play]

[Sweet] Soothing, isn’t it? Do you like it?

I’m glad to hear that.

[Still gentle, but a little bit sadder] No, I… I’ll stay here a little bit more, but you can go back to sleep.

Hm? You want to wait for me? Oh there’s no need, really. It might take a while and I don’t want you to give up to your comfy bed.

[Slightly less gentle] Well, and so what if I’m tired? It’s not like it’s the first time I take care of things during the night. Really, kitty, I appreciate your concern, but it’s okay. I don’t… want to waste any more time with this. It’s already been more than a month with no progress.

[Starting to show some frustration] I know you can wait, but- [sigh] I don’t want to wait, alright? Especially now that… that I have the grimoire. So, please, just… don’t worry about it, and let me deal with this.

[More frustrated] I told you, I got this, okay? I’ve already worked like this and-

No, it’s- listen, I am going to sleep, just not now, okay?

[Getting angry] Jeez, why do you keep insisting?! I am more than fine! Just go upstairs and go back to sleep, you weren’t even supposed to wake up in the first place tonight!

Well, you’re not helping now, in fact, as tired as I am now, the last thing I want is arguing with you about whether I should sleep or not! I just want to get back to work and find a damned solution to your curse as soon as possible!

[More angry and shocked] What?! Of course n- why- why would you even think about that?!

It’s not like that! I’m not doing this because I want you to go away or something as soon as possible, what the hell are you saying?! I thought it was clear that I’m happy you’re here, and I thought you trusted me!

Yes, I am angry! I’m doing this to help you, not because I don’t want you around anymore!

[Feeling pressured] I’m this urgent now because- because…!

[Both angry and frustrated, yelling] Because I’m scared! I don’t know for how long I will still be able to talk to you or even hold you! Because I don’t know when the curse will be completed and I’m fucking scared that I will wake up one day and find out that I’m sharing the room with just a cat and not with the person I’ve been living with for more than a month! I’m so scared to lose you, damn it! I’m…

[Sigh]

[Still angry, but trying to calm down] I’m worried because I don’t know what to do, and… I don’t even have the time I thought I have to find a solution to this. Every. Single. Second. Counts. And I don’t want to waste time.

[Calm, and sad] I… I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell it to you in this way, and I didn’t want to yell at you. I wanted to talk to you about it tomorrow, maybe after understanding a little bit more about this whole thing, because right now I’m just tired and confused and fucking terrified, and I can’t think straight. And it hurts me so much seeing you this shocked and scared too, you… didn’t deserve to know this in this way. I’m sorry, kitty.

What do I mean with that? [Sigh]

[Sad] ...Remember when you told me that sometimes you feel like you’re losing sight of your humanity? I said that you shouldn’t have worried about it, but… what you feel it’s actually true. The point is, apparently, even if you escaped the curse while the other wizard was casting it, depending on how much it has already affected your body, it will either complete or reverse on its own. And, by what you told me, it’s not going to reverse on its own at all, so…

The only difference is that when you don’t escape the curse, it happens right away. But if you manage to get away it’s not paused, just… slowed down.

[Still sad, but more anxious] Each passing day… little by little… your body is slowly turning into a cat, adjusting to the curse you have. You won’t be half and half forever, like we thought. And each time you shape shift into a cat, you’re speeding up the process too. I don’t know when it will happen, but if we don’t do something, -and I don’t even know if we can- one day… you might wake up without even knowing who you were when you were human. You might lose the ability to even understand what I’m saying, to talk… And… And just thinking about it, makes me feel so anxious…

Huh?

No, no, why you’re sorry? And- [Sad chuckle] Why are you the one who’s comforting me? It’s about your life we’re talking about, not mine. Aren’t you… scared?

Well, you’re right, of course you are. Sigh… I’m so sorry, kitty. But you understand, right? Sleeping can come in another moment, and-

[Still sad, but touched] Wh- what? Don’t… say it… Don’t tell me that you’d rather spend your last half-human moments with me rather than finding a solution to your curse...

[Calm] No one knows when it will happen, but it shouldn’t happen overnight. These are not your last moments and there will be more chances to spend time together, so-

[Sigh] Okay… fine, I’ll go with you. You’re... right. If it’s not happening overnight like I told you… I might as well rest a little bit until tomorrow. It’s true that… probably the tiredness won’t help me at all, instead, it will make it harder for me to work.

[Slightly worried] I just… I don’t want to wake up without you here. Whether you’re human or not.

I’m… happy that you don’t want to, either.

[Calm] Yes… let’s go back upstairs.

[Footsteps]

Okay kitty, let’s go to sleep. Goodnight, and again… sorry for my rant.

[Sound of bed sheets getting moved]

...Yes, [a slightly happier chuckle] I promise I won’t run away to work without you knowing.

Hm? You won’t believe me? Then what- [Surprised] Huh? I, uh… Yes, of course, you can share the bed with me for tonight, if you want. I- sorry, I was just surprised.

[Happy] No no, really, it’s fine! If I have to be honest… I’m happy you asked to. But… why?

Aww, I missed their blushing face...

Oh, you wanted to cuddle a little bit?

...And now I’m blushing too. That was unexpected.

[Sweet] There’s no problem at all, kitty. In fact, I think that some cuddling might help with both the tiredness and… with all of the worries I have. Or rather, we both have.

Come here…

[More bed sheets moving, more softly spoken from now on]

Comfortable, kitty?

Good, good.

[Heartbeats]

[Gentle] I didn’t realize I was this tired until I lay down on the bed. It’s soothing having you near me.

[Listener starts purring for a while]

[Chuckle] I guess that’s the same for you, isn’t it? That... makes me happy.

Yes, I meant every word I said. I am scared to lose you.

What do you mean why? That’s because I lo-

[Small pause]

I… loathe the idea to not have you around anymore. I deeply care about you, kitty.

[Gentle] Is it okay... if I hold you for a little bit?

[More sheets moving]

I really missed you in the past few days. I felt… lonely without you. Hugging you like this it’s… really peaceful.

[Hair stroking]

It helps calming me down. The anxiety I felt it’s slowly fading. Caressing you, feeling your warmth too… it makes me realize that you’re still here, and that’s true, the shifting won’t happen overnight. Even if I don’t know when… we still have time, right? I… the fear wasn’t making me think straight.

[Apologetic] Oh, sorry, I forgot your cat ears are sensitive. [Calm] Hm? You don’t mind? Are you sure?

Okay, then…

[A few seconds pause, with just some stroking sounds and soft breathing]

[Sweet] Your hair fees so soft, kitty. I hope… that caressing you feels as relaxing as it is for me.

[The purring stops here, after a few seconds of silence]

[Worried] Hm? You stopped purring, did I do something that made you feel uncomfortable?

[Pause]

Oh… [sweet] you fell asleep.

If… if that’s the case… I hope you don’t mind if…

[Small kiss]

...I give you a little forehead kiss.

[Gentle] I… almost confessed to you today. I don’t… feel ready yet, though. I don’t want you to hear those words, not until… the curse is lifted. And I promise, kitty…

I will do everything I can to turn you back to human again.

I don’t want to lose you. Especially not now that I know you, not now that we’re so close.

Not now that I…

I… love you.

[iszzyb]

I just need a place to rant

ahahhahahahhaha guess who need $691 to get her wisdom teeth removed 🙃

I finally worked up the courage to go to the dentist , and no insurance but found one that had discounts and a free consultation. I've been trying to save for a trip to see friends so i been working more ( i do uber eats n have applied to others but no ones hiring mee imma go through my resume tomorrow and redo it again) , but shit keeps popping up and i only have like $60 towards that. ( its in Oct so i still have some time but i was trying to at least get the flight tickets by next month )

I might just have to take a train or drive??? up there idk both would be like a 24-48 travel time.

back to the dentist i need wisdom teeth removed ( one has a hole both are impacted ) there's 2 cleanings which are some what affordable to me and than filling last . ovb not all at once but the wisdom teeth need to come out asp. The total price is like $4,491 ( with a 30% discount what ever it could be applied to ) I signed up for a credit plan that will help cover$3000 ( with me paying $149 a month to pay it off after the op ) but that covers most the extraction and leaves $691 for me to pay towards it ( the wisdom teeth extraction is $3691 in total)

I been on the phone and chatting with dental insurance all this morning and the main things I would need cover I wouldn't have acess to untill 6 months ; which is too far for what i need done asp . My mum has helps a bit by telling me and getting me a meeting with a possible free option ( they will be calling me Friday , so hopefully i qualify for that)

Mentally I been doing ok , not too deep of depression mostly lonelyness here n there cuz well everyone is busy or depressed them self right now .

I Still have the goal of moving out ( well getting a car 1st) but that would come after getting a more stable job( dentist stuff and trip). I appiled to about 7 diff jobs so far and got a " not selected by employer " on 4 of them ( come on sam's club or lib job!!!) (as for the bakery position I'm pretty sure i just don't have it cuz they have just left me hanging )

Good things :

Ive gotten better at setting boundaries & taking up space. I'm still working on it but i am not minimizing myself as much

( although they are not helping) I'm able to call insurance company sand job search with out getting to overwhelmed. I've been pacing myself pretty well lately and am able to get a lot more thing done on a day to day basis.

I haven't been streaming/gamming as much but i have been consistant with content creating ( mostly been uploading shorts on youtube & tiktok) , not to become n influencer but just to create / show others that its ok to have multi hobbied and be weird, ect . just having fun online . I feel like its helping me out with my anxiety.

& at home me and my mum have come up with a non verbal day , where we don't really speak to each other . If its an emergency or warning each other then yes we do speak but no causal convo. This helps me not feel so overwhelmed by her and this gives mum some time alone(kinda). Honestly it helps slowdown the weird co-dependency we have going on here; its just been super nice having a quiet day once a week ( still plan on moving out when i can)

[omgitsjuly]

i gave in! i finally purchased that macbook air. it's the 2020 version though, but it's brand new. it's been long time i haven't had a laptop, can you imagine? i gave mine to my dad when i started working like 10 years ago lol. i just though i had no need for it, until pandemic happened my dad had to go back home and be stuck there, and there were some robbers who stole his stuffs even the macbook i gave

but i though i just didn't need it so it was meh. cause i have iphones and iphones are very powerful now.

then lately idk why i am miserable sometimes even though i've been traveling all over (Europe, Africa, Middle East, Asia), going to luxury resorts, horse riding, eating everywhere, shopping, but i still am miserable and the only little bit of happiness i find in my heart is browsing articles, reading books, journaling and dreaming about writing again, but guess what! i miss typing, like TYPING IN KEYBOARD and just let the creative juices flow like i used to

my job has really made me stagnant. i couldn't think, my brain is rotting. mind you i am a very lazy person and i'd rather not think. however my creativity is still part of me. if i couldn't use it, i get depressed

i just think that macbook has the tools to trigger my creativity again especially for journaling and writing. hopeful to start content creation too! :)

hopefully before the end of this year i'll be able to buy macbook pro the newest and most powerful one to set up my mini-office here. then an imac on my main office

can't wait!! finally i get excited about life again!! i think i deserve it after working so hard for years and feeling miserable. i should keep rewarding myself like this