#i was so sure we were cooked and they were gonna die lol

[greatyme]

I’m glad Tyme and Great got to live and experience their love in the real world. As much as I had settled on the fact that they were both gonna die and be in their 4MP world together they deserved to live happily ever after

[nomaishuttle]

im always like wistfully sighing one day i will live with somebody who loves me and we'll cook together and itll be so romantic and then i remember when i was a kid and my mom would force me to let my sibling help me bake and id get so mad that i considered fratricide

[pierregazly]

you make loving fun ꨄ pierre gasly smau

pierre gasly x fem!russell!reader

in which pierre has made it obvious he worships the ground his fiancé walks on, but her brother just has to make it clear he can fight if he needs to.

ynrussell has posted a story

liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt, and others

replies

pierregasly je t'aime mon chérie 🤍

georgerussell63 you better be sleeping in different beds. and the food better be fully cooked

ynrussell we've been engaged for 9 months. ynrussell and it's a fucking croissant it's obviously fully cooked you dolt

pierregasly

tagged ynrussell

liked by ynrussell, charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt, and 650,093 others

pierregasly what a great winter break with my favourite person! time to get back to work 💪😈

view all 3,209 comments

ynrussell i love youuuu

ynrussell thanks for massaging my sore ankles after :(

liked by pierregasly

username they are literally so CUTE

username i want to be ynrussell so bad... like she's so pretty and pierre brings her EVERYWHERE

georgerussell63 this doesn't seem like a safe date option

georgerussell63 my sister better be in one piece by the time you finally return her home

ynrussell i am a grown woman??? i am not being returned home??? what is WRONG with you pierregasly i think i'll keep her actually, sorry mate!

username do you guys think george is serious or is he just playing a joke

username he comments on EVERY single one of their posts... my mans gonna fuck pierre up if he ever steps out of line frfr

liked by georgerussell63

ynrussell

tagged pierregasly

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, and 46,209 others

ynrussell a special happy birthday to the king of my heart 🫶🏻 one year closer to 30 handsome!!!

view 306 comments

username happy birthday pierregasly!!!!!!

charles_leclerc 🥳🥳🥳

pierregasly do you want to fight??? one year closer to 30???

georgerussell63 i've got this ynrussell, don't threaten my sister or it's game over

pierregasly je t'aime 🤍

georgerussell63 is there a video of pierre getting his face shoved into the cake? i'll pay good money for it

username george omg

username LMAOOOO pleaaaase george is ruthless does he even like his future brother in law

georgerussell63 no. happy birthday pierregasly.

username why is no one talking about how he's looking at her in that second photo???? the pure love??? im gonna cry i hate that i love them

username the 😭 king 😭 of 😭 my 😭 heart 😭

ynrussell

tagged carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux, pierregasly, and 12 others

liked by pierregasly, georgerussell63, alexandrasaintmleux, and 52,951 others

ynrussell spoiled absolutely rotten by all the wonderful women in my life this weekend, thank you all for making my bridal shower so special 🫶🏻 (and an extra special thank you to my best friend for the beautiful present he dropped off for me in the middle of it all)

view all 902 comments

carmenmmundt had so much fun celebrating the beautiful bride to be!!

username it makes my heart so full that carmen's planned so much of ynrussell's pre-wedding stuff, she has to be in the wedding party omg

username do we think george is one of pierre's groomsmen???

username if pierre doesn't want to die on his wedding day i'd hope so lol

georgerussell63 i hope pierregasly didn't ruin your special day by showing up. so happy to see how overjoyed you were in all the photos 💗

ynrussell pls stop harassing my fiancé. love you georgie.

username i literally cannot WAIT for their wedding, i just know pierre is going to go all out to make sure ynrussell is the happiest bride in the world (or george will get his ass)

pierregasly i stand by what i said, prettiest flowers for my prettiest flower 💐

georgerussell63

tagged ynrussell

liked by ynrussell, pierregasly, carmenmmundt, and 879,092 others

georgerussell63 can't believe the little girl who used to make me zip up her raincoat on the way to school is getting married tomorrow. honoured to be apart of your special day. and even though i mention it 14 times in my speech, pierregasly i know where you live and i will hurt you if you ever hurt her.

view all 2,311 comments

ynrussell 🥺🥺

ynrussell i'm going to cry. love you always georgie 🥺

username the picture of him zipping up her coat i'm going to cry... my fav brother/sister duo HONESTLY

username i just know this man would get away with murder for her if he had to

username pierre would not stand a chance against george

username bestie be so fucking for real, george's skinny ass ankles wouldn't stand a chance against my man pierre

carmenmmundt i think you've made enough threats by now?

liked by pierregasly, ynrussell, and 63 others

pierregasly may as well make it 15 times, i just dont think 14 is enough little brother

georgerussell63 do NOT call me that

pierregasly and yngasly

liked by georgerussell63, charles_leclerc, alpinef1team, and 1,673,942 others

pierregasly i am truly the luckiest man in the world to finally be able to call myself your husband. the tears were worth seeing you in the most beautiful dress, on the most beautiful day. i will hold my vows until the day i die. je t'aime, i love you.

view all 3,564 comments

username omg he cried!!!!!!

username i KNEW IT i knew pierre would be a crier my man's looks like he would be

username do we think george made him cry

username girl dont be delulu i'd be crying too if yngasly was about to be my wife

georgerussell63 i have a video of you crying. don't act up.

pierregasly wouldn't count on it lil bro. username pierre may get beat up without it even involving yngasly as this rate

yngasly can't believe i bagged myself such a looker

yngasly i love you mr. gasly

pierregasly i love you mrs. gasly

honestly this was one of those one's that i started, imagined myself in this position and then basically HAD to finish it. thank you to the lovely person who requested a russell!sister!reader who is engaged to pierre, who constantly get's threatened by george. i hope you all loved it!!

my requests are open

taglist:

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @princessria127 @iloveyou3000morgan @love4lando @asfaraslifegets @decseptapril @somanyfandomsbruh @fangirl125reader @imagandom @motorsp0rt @jspitwall @sarahedwards16 @glitterf1 @christianpulisic10 @carlandonorri-s @smoothopz @eugene-emt-roe @epitios

if your name is struck through it wouldn't let me tag you! let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist/if you're missing from it :)

[thewinchestah]

"Chega de Saudade" - Alastor X Reader fic

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader.

Summary: When Alastor breaks into the V's building seven years later he expects to find a lot of things, lot of obnoxious, enraging, tacky things. He did not expect to find you. The Radio Demon does not take betrayl lightly and you have to live with the consequences of selling your soul to his worst enemy. Better yet, you have to live with the consequences of selling your soul to Vox and Alastor finding out. The soul you sold because Alastor left you for 7 years. Safe to say, it's a mess. A pretty, angsty, dark and delicious mess.

Warnings: Alastor is in Hell for a reason,general hellish violence,general hellish creepiness,eventual smut, i carioca coded valentino bc i can and bc he is very carioca sorry everyone,blackmail, Soul Selling, author is really invested in politics and decided to micromanage hazbin hotel canon, Corruption, Extortion, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, but nothing too explicit,mature themes in general, canon divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Eventual Smut, Alastor gets insane in this one you've been warned, fear play, Possessive Behavior, posessive sex, big bad radio demon is gonna fuck up the guy who stole his girl and will make it everyone's problem, Reader-Insert,no y/n,no beta we die like men here, i feel bad for tagging vox in this fic cause i think it's a disservice i really hate him and i make it clear so vox stans be warned, it's hell i hope y'all remeber ethics are fluid, posessive!Alastor, unhinged!Alastor, Isane!Alastor

Taglist: honestly only my queen @jyoongim i have no credibility to tag anyone anymore after being away for so long. If you wanna be tagged on future updates just let me know!

A/N:HI HEY BUNNY ANON IF YOU ARE STILL HERE THIS ONE FOR YOU!! Hiii everyone guess who's back. I had this fic cooking for a while now, actually i had a lot of writing cooking but in a very Ao3 author fashion a lot happened. You see i was on this writing streak and then my 15yo dog died while i was out of state. I had to go back on anti depressants and take a sabbatical. I got a new puppy and she's the light of my life. Got super sick, won a horse show. My first plan for this fic was having the first 3 chapters done and ready for debuting together because i always feel i'm lacking when i show up with only one chapter lol. After a while i realised i needed to get this first chapter out too see the light of day if i wanted to write again so here it is. This fic is a bit different from my other Alastor fics and i have a rough outline of 5 chapters so i think this beast will be more than 20k words long for sure. I decided to get a little deeper into Hell's politics and all the "no one ever thought of using heavenly weapons against hell even tough Hell's ancient and the best worst of humanity and demonkind is here". I call that bullshit sorry i'm brazilian i'm well versed in shady politicians and shady politics and unfortunatly, dear reader, you are in for this ride too. This fic kicks off right after "Stayed Gone". Also did i mention i'm brazilian and that my works are heavily inspired by brazilian media. This entire fic was inspired by one of my favourite songs of all time "Chega de saudade". And let's be real, Alastor and bossa nova are the perfect match. So yeah, english is not my first language and this isn't beta'd so sorry for any confusion or mistakes. Thank you so so much for reading my fics and always leaving the most kind beautiful and heartwarming feedback. I hope i can still deliver a nice story to my darling readers.

Click here for my other fics.

CHAPTER ONE: chega de saudade a realidade é que sem ela não pode ser.

In the first year you were calm and collected. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation to why he is gone. Is he even gone, gone? He’s coming home soon, you can feel it. 

In the second year you convinced yourself there were signs everyone explaining why he was gone and when he was coming back, you were just too oblivious to them before. But everything can be a sign when you are delusional.

In the third year you cried so much you felt you were constantly drowning. You barely left home and some thought you were gone too. Gone to him.

In the fourth year you finally gave in and took the deal. Lack of self-preservation and machiavellian schemes working together to create a trap for him. He would come home out of anger, ire. But you can't outfox the fox.

In the fifth year you decided to scour hell and beyond after him. You went to places just to taunt him. Paranoia became your best friend, blood sweat and tears as you repeat “This time it will work, I'm sure of it”. Can a lie be said so many times it becomes the truth?

In the sixth year you accept defeat. You buried him deep and went about like he never existed in the first place. Isn’t it mystifying how this city screams his name?

It’s the seventh year now. The alarm on your phone rings and rings and you feel like scratching your face off. It’s time to meet your damned executioner.

Rolling out of bed you open the curtains to let some light in. The penthouse from the V’s building has a great view of Pentagram City, looking down you get the feeling of dystopian sci-fi that is so characteristic of the technology district. Limelights, digital outdoors, and big opulent, oppressing screens greet you like a constellation of dead stars, long distorted from their original purpose and form. 

You follow processional routine as you get ready. Choose a beautiful dress, put on make-up, and do your hair. It all feels like preparation for a sacrifice. One thing you learned from Alastor is that appearances are the best strategy and you intend to greet your handmade battlefield like a roman legion. 

Alastor. Even thinking of his name hurts, especially today when you need to face the consequences of your actions, the consequences of his actions. He is gone, he left you. And now Vox owns your soul. You blame your fall from grace entirely on him, he forced your hand, he made you do it. Out of desperation, out of defiance, you sold your soul to Vox so he would come back and save you, so he would come back out of hatred, anger and ire to tell how foolish you were, how betrayed he felt.

Betrayal. Selling your soul to his sworn arch enemy should be treason worthy of him dropping anything he was doing to come and punish you, to address you. You just wanted to get a reaction out of him, proof that he still cared. That he didn’t just get bored of the empire of terror he fought so hard to build in Hell. That he didn’t, deep down, just disregard you like a shiny novelty, to be left when it got old. 

You dry the persistent tears that insist on falling with clinical coldness. You are past feeling sad now, you don’t even feel angry anymore. You are past any emotion really, you just want to get this over with and get back home.

You went about your deal with Vox in many different ways, sometimes you felt like it was a good alliance, a slap on Alastor’s face. A side quest to gather as much information from the V’s inner circle, a social experiment. The truth is, during these past almost four years you were a mental gymnastics pro to justify your new arrangements. The cognitive dissonance required to live with the decision of being forever tied to Vox was an herculean task and boy he didn’t make it any easier on you. He would never be as refined as Alastor when it came to torture but there’s something about the coldness and calculated reality of the television business that was it’s own type of Dante’s inferno.

As soon as he got word of Alastor’s disappearance the TV overlord was on your scent, and he wasn’t shy about it either. You dodged him and led him on for almost four full years before finally giving in, everything was more or less under control during the early years of Alastor’s disappearance. 

Until you saw the angel army leaving.

  Death and gore were all around you. The sky rained blood. You couldn’t breathe. You tried to take a step forward only to realize you were knee-deep in demon blood. Adam was particularly ruthless this time, he seemed to have realized the unbalance in Hell’s power structure with one of the most prolific demon overlord’s absence and took full advantage of it. You choked on the sulfur filled air while the portal closed and Adam threw a last middle finger at the Pride Ring. A clawed hand offered you support as you were about to fall, your heart skipped a beat, for a split second you felt elation. In that split second a thousand thoughts, four years of misery and confusion passed through your mind like a movie. You were sure this was Alastor, showing up after the unprecedented carnage of today’s reaping. With the next heartbeat came the delivery of the most cruel reminder: the hand reaching for you was Vox’s. Alastor doesn’t care about anything anymore, not even losing territory. 

The TV overlord was covered in thick, red blood and looked vindicated, a wide chesire’s cat grin on his face. Baptized in carnage, Vox had finally triumphed for the V’s.The V’s were now a force to be reckoned with in Hell, there’s no argument to be made.  A good chunk of Alastor’s territory was now under their control, and everything that came with it too. Including you. 

“My darling doe, be careful, we can’t have you hurt after the battle is won can we?” 

Darling doe.

You threw up at the casual cruelty of the name Alastor called you with such affection being desecrated by Vox. He still supported you as you spilled your guts, you’d blame it on the nerves, the adrenaline, the reeking smell of death. Not on the fact that you knew he finally won, that the thing that broke you was to hear your name like that, on your lover archenemy’s lips. After that it happened. You sold your soul to vox. Of course he coerced you into it, and you were so mad with grief and betrayal that you felt like betraying Alastor back was the just thing to do. Pettiness and paradoxical hope dripping from your lips as the whole thing was done. 

Every year this same flashback assaulted your mind as you got ready to meet Vox on the anniversary of your deal. It never went past the look you gave those pixelated eyes as he held you on that barren land, stopping right there when you made the decision that finalized your ruin. You still wouldn’t, couldn't face what really went down when you formalized your deal with Vox. Those memories were suppressed and tucked in under layers and layers of regret and self-hatred. 

You gave yourself a final look in the mirror. No makeup smudging this time, you were getting good at numbing your feelings. Just a few tears, no more sobbing.

The yearly meeting with the V’s after the extermination was the perfect cover actually, everything was done in a way that it seemed like you were all cooperating. After all, you did hold a very good knowledge of the inner workings of Alastor’s deals, subordinates and territory. You knew who the V’s could “call in favours” and how to keep the peace. Or as close to peace as peace came when an abrupt power transition happened in Hell. You were a valuable asset to anyone really. Articulated in politics, masterful at the art of persuasion, kind, soft, charismatic, assertive, all in perfect balance, and frankly, breathtakingly beautiful. It wasn’t without reason that Alastor fell for you and that you became his most trusted advisor. You and Rosie were able to conceal his absence and manage his affairs for good two years and the better part of the third without raising any suspicion. Of course, the bigger they are the harder they fall and now you were walking down the corridor of the V’s building carrying a bulk of important intel that would dictate the fate of the Overlord power structure for the next year, at least. 

The hallways of the building changed a lot since you first walked them. As the V’s grew in power, the building grew in grandeur. It was now an imposing beast, looming over Pentagram City. Modern corporate architecture that incorporated the savage capitalism of Vox Tech. Savage, cold, sterile, overbearing that’s how being inside the lair of Hell’s most up and coming trio felt. The tall ceilings and big glass windows were exactly what you would expect of a broadcasting network and silicon valley Big Tech company combined. As an esteemed guest, you got the privilege of staying in the coveted penthouses, with someone to attend to your every wish and demand. You also got an idea that Vox went a little extra with your treatment as a form of flirtation, he has been trying to convince you into moving in for a while, every time you stayed in, your usual penthouse had some shiny new thing that was  made just for you, as he repeatedly emphasized. 

This year’s token of affection was a makeup mirror-gadget-thingy, that looked out of a Totally Spies episode. You had to admit to yourself that this was way more thoughtful and useful than the gifts from the previous years. The thing was cute, practical and would come in handy, which was a big improvement. Vox had tried to sway you with all types of guns and high tech devices in vain. Well, there was also that embarrassing stance with the wire flowers with a hidden recording device. Needless to say that after that entire debacle Vox learned that he may own your soul but you weren’t a damsel in distress and you would reinforce your side of the bargain if he went too far. 

You reached the elevator and went in, pushing the button for your destination. 

The earlier you start this the earlier it is over, you remind yourself.

The panoramic elevator descended to the well guarded conference room, the guards didn’t bat an eye to you entering. You realized you were becoming a familiar face around here, that made you dread what’s ahead of you even more.

“There she is! Hello princesa, I missed that pretty face!” Valentino greets you. He’s the only one inside, sitting on the edge of the table.  Well, that’s unusual… you think. Vox was always the first to get to the post-extermination meetings, plus he always gave you a slightly early timetable so he could have some alone time with you. Something must be going on.

“Hey Valentino, it’s nice to see you too! What gossip do you have for me today?” you give your best chirpy tone to the love moth. Look, you know how bad Valentino is, he is despicable really, even to your standards. But ethics are fluid, to say the  least, in Hell. The acclaimed porn king was surprisingly engaging to talk to. He was fun and actually treated you like a person, which was paradoxical in itself, considering how infamous he is for exploiting and commodifying souls. You drove yourself mad with theories of possible agendas behind Valentino’s kindness towards you, but it was the simplest of answers really, for some reason Valentino liked you and he never denied himself of what he liked.

“You have no idea! We have a lot to catch up on, did I tell you about that bitch who was trying to spy on us?” a set arms gestures to you to sit down next to him. The next 10 minutes are spent talking frivolities with the moth. You’re not complaining, it's nice to get your mind off this dreadful day and you don’t get many. 

Valentino, as always, has a lot to say, little goes on in Hell without him knowing who, what, where and why. Information, gossip, rumors, facts, if a single out of context word can be weaponized  you better be aware that he knows. Pentagram city can be divided into districts and ruled by lots of different overlords, still, Valentino’s intricate web of influence and coercion stretches across all territories. Another poor soul manifests here and goes somewhere they should not be, talk to someone they should not talk to, discover something they should never know. All cases of “wrong place at the wrong time” are happily solved by a large sum of money from the moth and suddenly another thread is weaved into his web of knowledge, another secret  made his. Valentino doesn’t operate like most Overlords and that’s where his power  lies. He bribed and fucked his way into every major circle, every  overlord’s inner circle, Hell’s best kept secret. If you were anyone in the hellish afterlife Valentino either fucked you or fucked someone very close to you. 

Knowledge is power, and Hell’s gossip girl was proof of it.

You swallowed a lump you didn’t know existed, hearing the moth talk about how things changed in a matter of hours during the early post-war made you even more aware of the severity of the intel you were carrying. It was earth shattering (no pun intended) information. 

Angels can be hurt. Angels can be killed. That meant a completely different way of existing in the afterlife, if this information goes public, the consequences are unpredictable and dire.

You don’t feel excitement knowing you technically can fight back, you feel pure dread.

To be completely honest, you feel like these “news” are not really news. You were pretty acquainted with politics back on Earth and this whole “omg no one knew about this! even though this was staring us right on your faces! is total bullshit. Hell is ancient, the exterminations are not a new thing, and there are some pretty smart people down here. To think that millenia after millenia masters of torture and skilled killers never thought of using heaven’s own firepower against them is wishful thinking at best. Sure, maybe after a few generations most sinners, even those who have power, may have been kept out of the loop about the chick in the holy army’s armor… but not knowing this at all just feels like a pretty convenient case of collective amnesia. 

Convenient, that’s exactly what this is. It’s brutal, but that’s Hell. A scheduled massacre is a blessing to those who rule to maintain, reinforce and extend their power. And if you get lucky enough, empires will fall and you will make your move. 

Vini Vidi Vici, that’s all you need to know about how Hell's politics work. 

It’s true that with every massacre the Angel Army gets more and more brutal and unhinged. What was once justified as righteous mercy killings to stabilize the ever growing hellish population now is just a display of cruelty, these angels kill for sport. There have been rumors floating around of how the disproportional annihilation tactics are preparation for something bigger for a while now , and with the demonic royal families either operating totally off Pride Ring or being completely MIA, it is no wonder those influential enough are starting to get restless. 

And that ties back to your first point, the thing that got you picking the skin around your nails while Valentino gossips. There’s a reason why this is being revealed now, you know how creating a narrative works, a few smart words and ideas become beasts of its own. A beast of its own that will tear anything on its way with the right fuel. The V’s have fuel to spare. Whose interest is that this information stayed hidden? Whose interest is that this information was allowed to be shared now? 

Hell is constructed by layers and layers of complicated militias and parallel governance, each one a locked room of secrecy that is impossible to enter without a huge amount of connections and power. 

“In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king. And, honey, you should see me in a crown” Valentino wisely said to you once. He’s a man of many many keys, and right now you are holding the fucking master key under your arm. 

Speaking of Valentino, he notices that you dozed off and snaps his fingers, grounding you back to reality. 

“My, my. You must have extremely sensitive information today to keep you from hearing the nastiest, hottest gossip of the moment babe” He takes a hit from his cigarette, an elegant and sensual move straight from an Old Hollywood film. The heart shaped smoke rings caress your face and for an instant you feel hypnotized, nodding your head profusely. 

“But I already knew that” behind the rose coloured shades, you see a playful wink from his infamous red hot eyes. 

The porn overlord quickly snaps his head towards the huge automatic doors, that open and reveal Vox and Velvette walking side by side exchanging looks between them that scream conspiracy.

“Sorry about the wait, my darling” Vox purrs on your way, stopping behind your chair and placing his hands on top of it, fingers dangerously close to your neck and shoulder. He pushes your hair to the side and lingers there, on your neck. “but as they say ain’t no rest for the wicked, am I right?” Velvette takes her seat beside Vox’s empty chair, meticulously placed in front of you, polite pleasantries leaving her mouth. She’s still a mystery, you never know her true stance on you, she keeps you on your toes. Does she like you? Does she hate you? Does she even care? 

“If you say so, boss!” you give him your best pageant smile. “So, who’s climbing up the ladder of the food chain today?” You bat your eyelashes at him. Your performance begins.

“Aw baby, you know I love when you call me boss! keep talking dirty to me” Vox lands a wet kiss on your cheek and makes his way to his chair.

 Right in front of you, so he’s always staring at you, drinking in your every move. You cannot fail, you cannot falter. 

As much as you’ve gotten used to pretending, pretending you like the V’s, pretending you don’t feel disgusting inside for being here, pretending you don’t hate Alastor for putting you in this situation with a burning passion but still missing him so much you feel someday your heart will stop beating in protest to him absence, it’s still hard. Especially when Vox touches you. Your eyes focus on cybersharks swimming behind Vox’s seat and concentrate on keeping your awarding winning poker face. 

“This year looks really promising I will tell you that! The orders for both your weapons and tragedy porn cameras doubled since the last extermination! I will give credit where credit is due, that fuckboy Adam knows how to put on a show!” he snaps his fingers graphs, stats and footage appears on the various screens. But it’s all irrelevant, it won’t matter when you spill your secret. 

“Lot’s of veeeery interesting happenings but I thought this year we might… start differently. Let’s forget the profit talk for now, change things a little. Did you guys see anything out of the ordinary? Did something stand out?!” he spins around his Big Boss ™ chair and stops with his hand under his chin, leaning in to you like a schoolgirl with the hottest new gossip. 

“Oh! I heard things -” Val also leans in getting closer to the TV overlord face. 

Vox’s grin shrinks, lifting a finger in protest 

“We know, we know, you always hear things Val” he replies in a monotone tone

Velvette, who spent this entire time typing away on her phone, interjects 

“Look, don’t take this the wrong way girlypop” finally looking at you she asks, or rather, states the million dollar question “ but what Vox means is that we know you have something  big cooking inside those files, so let’s drop the bullshit and go straight to it” 

The doll puts her phone down, she knows how important this is, how this secret will probably dictate how things will go from now on. You can call Velvette many things, but she is clever and under all that attitude and posh accent lies a brilliant strategist. 

“Plus, we all know you are contractually obligated to tell anyway, so spill, and can make this quick and painless to everyone involved” 

Right, your cartesian, empirical proof that angels can be killed.  Caught on the scene of the crime with the gun in your hands. 

You don’t waste anymore time, the words leave your lips like you’re choking with the threat they present. You tell them everything: where the exorcist was killed, how he was killed, the golden ichor blood that oozed from the wound, where the body was hidden. Everyone is silent while you speak, even the mechanical sharks seem to have stopped swimming to listen. 

After that you don’t remember much more of the meeting, it felt like you took the backseat of your own mind, the overwhelming feeling of dread making you so out of breath. Something is coming, something fucking coming and you can’t breathe. Anxiety sets under your skin like a second skeleton begging to crawl its way out and you find yourself sitting in one of the lavish anterooms of the V’s building. 

“So, the cat’s out of the bag then” you recall hearing Vox saying when, as if on cue, a few moments before the meeting was being declared over, the emergency broadcast about the reduction of the extermination date from a year to six months was issued. You four watch the transmission and you wonder if that’s what it feels like to get the news of the end of the Cold War, the doomsday clock finally hits midnight and we are nuking each other out. 

Mutual destruction assured. 

Your mind wanders back to your life on earth, if life up there is better or worse these days. You died so young, everybody told you, your Untimely Demise a big topic of conversation that you yourself didn’t know much about. But nothing, nothing in all of your living years and your years from Hell to eternity could prepare you for what comes next.

“So the Radio Demon is back in town! Why is he hanging around? What does it mean for your family?” 

The news hit your ears like a tsunami and you feel dizzy. It’s easy to find a big screen here and you are running to the closest one before your brain can even compute the words. 

Alastor is back, Alastor is back, and he didn’t come find you.

The next sound wave is even worse, dragging you ashore to your feelings without any reprieve. 

“Salutations!

Good to be back on the air! Yes, I know it's been a while, since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast

Sinners, rejoice!”

This isn’t a prank, there are no cameras and a sadistic tv host waiting for your humiliating reaction, instead all pairs of eyes in Hell are glued to the screen watching as the two Overlords fight it out. 

Thus, no one notices how your entire body shakes and your vision goes black. It’s too much, and you grip the rails from the stairs that lead to the foyer for dear life. Your heart is beating out of your chest. No one notices how you cry, how you whimper Alastor’s name like a prayer, how the tears run down your face and you feel paralyzed. You want to run, a million thoughts per heartbeat making your head swim. The best you can do is collapse on the floor. So you do, you collapse trying to catch your breath as you plan your sweet escape, how you are going to Houdini yourself out of this situation right to his arms.

“Tune on in

 when I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run”

You want to kiss him, you want to slap him, you want to tell him how much you missed him, you much your fucking hate him. You want him to drag you to his rooms and make you pay for cursing him out. You want him, you want your Alastor back. You cannot breathe.

“Oh, this will be fun.”

and then all the lights go out.

There’s a beginning of an uproar happening, the electric building dies a quick and unforgiving death, demons run around and Vox is flying down the stairs trying to do damage control. But even he is failing to keep his composure, because he knows. Oh how you know too. 

Alastor is like a natural disaster, a shattering force that bends everything on its way with the sheer force of will. The inevitable reckoning that comes to your town, that judges and executes everyone that you love. 

And now he is here. 

You see the burning red hot pair of eyes first, their predatory gaze hold the entire room hostage, looking for his prey and then they land on you. 

The piercing intensity of Alastor’s eyes, the flickering reds of damnation itself, regard you with surprise, elation and something more. So overbearing those eyes are, they make you shiver, bearing the weight of his gaze that penetrates deep into your soul. Your soul that is not yours anymore, it belongs to the man he hates, the man he despises. 

The Radio Demon’s towering frame closes the distance between you two in five long strides, you do your best to keep yourself upright and not cower at the sight of him. He looks like Rapture and righteous torture, coming to deliver your setance. Vox knows his sentence is being delivered here and now too, so he runs, runs to you.  You feel static and an electrifying pull, metal clinking. A chain. A glowing blue chain on your neck and Vox’s pulling it tight.

“What? what the fuck is going on? what’s this?” snapping your neck quickly towards Vox you whimper, you beg. The few seconds you stopped looking into Alastor’s eyes causing seething rage inside the deer demon, ire that makes the room tremble. 

‘“Talk over the radio, that way everyone can hear, baby” Vox says straight at Alastor, like it is a shooting gun. The look on the TV Overlord is maniac, a sideway cocky smile that drips pettiness. Just because Vox clearly lost this battle, with all tvs and electricity on petagram city going dark, it doesn’t mean he can’t still forever tarnish this victory. 

Alastor’s demonform covers the already dark building in opaque, thick shadows, radio static picks up around the room like a tornado chocking the majority of the unfortunate demons that are still inside, in a desperate attempt to seek shelter. 

No words leave the radio host’s lips as he grows even taller, breaking the posh entrance of the building, debris flying down causing even more damage, the tall glass windows shatter in a million pieces courtesy of his tentacles tearing down everything on their way. The sounds of destruction and despair are loud but you haven’t been listening to the world outside you and your returned lover’s radio dial eye’s for a while. A doe caught in the headlight of his eyes the best you can do in brace for the inevitable impact that is coming your way.

In a flash of his scarlet eyes a fire ignites, the flames born from it are unnatural, behaving like a hive mind to kill and destroy.

 You always knew that facing Alastor after these 7 years would not be easy, but you never imagine your reunion like this, in the midst  of pomppeian fire, a wild raw power, the oncoming storm that is Alastor when he attacks. 

Vox knows this fight is over, his ego hurt and today’s accounts always written as a victorious comeback from the Radio Demon, nevertheless, between the three of you Vox will always know who really won, who drew the last card, had the last laugh. He did, holding Alastor’s girl on a leash because he owns her. The soul of the woman the Radio Demon dared to love is his, the man Alastor despises with a burning passion, and that’s enough for now. 

The raging flames circle the three of you and without much more flair Vox drops his act, your chain disappearing from your neck. You drop to the floor, branching yourself on all fours. You consider crawling your way to Alastor, so you can explain, so you can cry, so you can beg. You don’t know for what exactly you will be begging for: your life? his forgiveness? his punishment? you just know a lot of begging and pleading will be involved. 

But the decision is made for you.

“Run, run my little darling doe” Vox commands “Run and do whatever you need to do” 

You get up on your feet in a completely ungracious move and Alastor’s out of the room instantly. The flames never touch you on the way out, the outside world greets you: a cacophony of screams, sirens, burning sounds, the infernal orchestra that becomes the soundtrack of your life.  

“Oh, and by the way” Vox screams from the threshold of the decaying building “we just got news that your place on Cannibal Town got trashed by some wayward sinners during extermination. But don’t worry you can always come home here, come home to me!”

You do your best to ignore his taunting, and you pray to whoever is listening that Alastor didn’t hear it. But it’s futile, the pavement where he is stepping cracks a dark cloud of static and shadows trail after him. He definitely heard and felt the implications of these words. 

“Al.. Al!” you scream running after your lover. 

Fuck, you’re still in heels, and those aren’t your running heels.

Kicking the damned shoes off you run faster, you cry harder and plead faster.

When you lived, your life always felt a bit surreal, weird stuff happened to you that you couldn’t really explain. People always joked that screenwriters of your life were the most creative people alive, the thing that happened to you never happened to anyone else. You died young, with a big, full life ahead of you, but you took this as gospel to your afterlife, after all everything related to your death was a mystery to you. But the things that happened to you living or dead were a raw reality impossible to make up.

 The uncertainty of your death only fuels your resolve to fight for the life you found in the afterworld. 

“Al, wait!” you are starting to get truly desperate, you need to get to him otherwise you are pretty certain you will drop dead here and now.

 “Alastor please, please listen to me” your voice failing, you finally choking from the smoke, from the suppressed tears. If Alastor doesn’t hear you now you are not sure you can carry on after him, you’re too tired too scared. You him to save you like the damsel in distress you are right now so bad.

Alastor dramatically comes to a halt. 

“I. am. Not. Having. This. Conversation. Here.”  his voice is staggered, still. Filled with static and a murderous edge to it. His long arms catch your wrist and pull you close, flush against his chest, you almost stumble but a powerful arm around your waist locks you tight to him. 

It’s the first touch in seven years, your legs shake at the realization that he’s real, he’s here. You lock your arms around his neck, the familiar fabric of his overcoat, the soft strands of his hair, they all feel like coming home.  

Something inside Alastor snaps when he remembers, when he feels how small you are in comparison to him, only one arm securing you safely to him. Some paradoxical fight starts inside him, wild wild want, wild wild rage against tameness, the docile calm you bring whenever you are at his side. 

The world disappears for a few seconds as darkness engulfs both of you,  inside the black moving vacuum only the two of you exist, greeting each other in bloody homecoming. 

Alastor takes you back to the Hotel, landing with a low thump inside his room. For a second his hand supports the small of your back, preventing you from falling forward. After all it’s been 7 years since you shadowtravelled with him, he knows you are terribly out of practice. 

His consideration towards you only lasts this precious second thought, because he makes his way across the room, creating as much distance as he can between the two of you. Your touch disarms him, he is aware of that since the first time your hand brushed against his, the first time his lips ghosted on top of your knuckles. If Alastor is touching you he is extremely likely to get soft, to remember how much you mean to him, what you do to him, so he will be merciful. And right now the last thing the deer demon wants is to be disarmed, to show you mercy. He can feel your betrayal burning inside his veins, clouding his judgment with ire and jealousy.

Alastor doesn’t fight those feelings, on the contrary, he lets them take him by storm adding fuel to his already bad temper. That’s the only way he can face you now, that’s the only way he can make you understand. 

You don’t get any time to gather your bearings, from the corner of your eye you notice a forest. His room is bigger on the inside and has a fucking conservation area but that’s hardly the most pressing matter at the moment. The pressing matter at the moment is that you are getting whiplash from touching your demon lover for the first time in seven years and his subsequent refusal to touch you, stationing himself across the room to you.

Why isn’t he with you? by your side as you ride the shockwaves of today together? You are scared, but above all you feel overwhelming sadness. 

“How did it happen?” he finally snaps, breaking the deafening silence. It’s the first time Alastor regards you, directly, in 7 years and the weight his words bare is so heavy you wish for more of the silence. “Tell me, how did it happen?” his eyes are wild, dangerously close to radio dials. 

“How did it happen? You tell me Alastor! You left me, you fucking left me!” you wish you could be your usually articulated self, you rehearsed this conversation so many times in your mind and in none of them you started with such venom on your lips. But it has been too long, and maybe the poison from all those years alone and afraid beside Vox drips through. 

The Radio Demon sees the tears that fall profusely from your big doe eyes, and they sting more than an acclaimed torturer like him could have anticipated. Alastor finds himself still disarmed, because with every single glistening tear that falls he can see how hurt, how scared you are. He is the only one allowed to make you scared, he owns your fear.

But that’s the problem isn’t it? He owns nothing. Vox does. And that realization turns him back to feeling seething rage. 

“So my mere absence is enough to change your devotion? Is me being here the only thing that stopped you from falling into his arms?” more poison. By the end of the night you both will choke on it. 

“Al.. Al” you are sobbing now, your throat tightens and it’s hard to breath it’s hard to speak. “ I had to do it. You don’t get it, you don’t get it.” your voice breaks “hemademedoit, hemademedoit!!”. You swallow half the words, whimpering, as if you say it fast enough the action will quickly become the past, as if the memories won’t haunt you. And yet the memories flood your mind

A dim-lit room, the smell of blood and something burning.

“He is gone baby, and he isn’t coming back”

Electricity makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. 

A stranger’s hand pushes the hair to the side of your face, dread creeps up inside of you.

“This is the only way my dear, the best decision you can make” 

The same stranger’s hand grab you by the waist 

“I’m the only one who can protect you now, you know that right?”

eyes that make you freeze, it’s hard to think. eyes that make it hard to say no.

“If this is hard for you, you can pretend that I’m him” 

a wrong type of static pricks your lips 

“This won’t hurt” 

a shockwave hits your body and it feels like you are being split open

You have to steady yourself on the closest piece of furniture. You cower as the repressed memories from the night you finally gave in to Vox assault your mind, trying to make yourself as small as possible, like he is coming back to do it all again. Cries and incoherent words leave your lips and you don’t know if you actually said what happened or if this entire time you have just been crying. You entire body hurts as you hyperventilate “Al, I’m so sorry” you whisper 

That’s what undoes Alastor, you curling yourself in a ball, defeated and scared at the ghost of the man he hates. You looking away from him like you are undeserving of him, of his punishment, of his love. Like you are tainted. Alastor can’t make the exact words of your confession about how it happened, but he heard enough. Vox would never make you come to him willingly, Alastor knows that. Whatever Vox did - and Alastor has a lot of ideas of what he did - he will pay double for it. 

 Alastor’s blackened heart shatters when he calls your name and you don’t look up to meet his eyes, like you always do. He was always your lantern for when you were drowning. He meant to break you, hurt you like that. He just wanted to make you come to him, beg for his forgiveness, beg him to soothe the pain. 

“Mon coeur, my sweet darling doe you are safe” Alastor voice goes so soft it hurts “Don’t fret, it’s in the past, it’s over, you are safe with me now as you are meant to be” he coos.

Still, you can’t read your lover’s mind. So you don’t know his heart is shattered, you don’t know how much he loathes himself for letting this get this far. You are so caught up on your own feelings, reeling the rage and the memories that you miss the softness of his voice and his outstretched hard and you inevitably choke on the poison. 

“No. No!” you snap “You don’t get to say that. You have no right to say that!” you scream as you get up “I’m not safe, I will never be safe because you weren’t there to protect me, you promised Alastor, you fucking promised” the poison is now inside you, heartstopping waves of hurt consume your body and sprit. Right now the same burning passion that makes you heart beat for Alastor makes you hate him too. You were never good with ugly feelings, you always pride yourself for being soft to be strong. Your kindness and act of rebellion during the hellish reality you lived. You were never good with bad feelings, so you do something you never thought you’d do.

You shove the Radio Demon, that man you love so much it drives you to insanity. You shove him because the shame is too much, all the ugly feelings ball up inside, convincing you that you don’t deserve him, that you already lost him. And you won’t survive his dismissal. 

You never talked back to him, you never raised your voice. Not because you were afraid to, but because you never had to, hence the reason why Alastor is so taken aback that your pitiful attempt of violence actually moves him from where he was standing. 

Alastor shoves you back, pushing you up against the wall with a searing kiss. He kisses you like you are his last chance at salvation, like he wants to be redeemed. He licks your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, pushing his hips hard against your core, making you straddle him. Alastor doesn’t grant you a moment of reprieve, his lips come crashing down on yours again, his tongue inside your mouth dancing to a madman’s tune. He does what he does best, he takes and takes and takes. He takes your breath away, he takes all the callous words that threaten to leave your lips, aimed at him. 

You succumb to your demon lover, your nails dig into his skin and he moans inside your mouth, he bites your lips enough to draw blood. In the end Alastor is still Alastor, and of course he gets all hot and bothered when fighting. You feel delirious with the taste of his lips, your blood and your salty tears mixing together, an unholy ambrosia. His hardness press just the right way to make you sing creating a current of desire after a seven year long drought. 

His hands are quick, ridding up your shirt making he grab your ass and then your hips, strong enough to bruise. His clawed finger is already tweaking your nipple that way he knows you love. Your bravado melts, in perfect synchrony to when he sinks his teeth deep into your neck, drinking everything: that wretched poison that tarnished your words, the sacred warmth of your blood. You moan his name like a prayer that he promptly answers, he’s kissing you like a drowning man again, your blood on his lips painting your lips red like you both just drank from the holy grail, his hand cups your other breast and you vow to never speak to him like that again, only if it’s gonna get you up against the wall like that with him. 

And then he stops. 

“I hope this kiss haunts you” he says, voice still drunk with desire, low and threatening. He swiftly moves you off him, walking away and creating the same distance from when this all started “haunts your every breath, finds its way inside your every waking moment until you are mad with regret” 

You are bewildered, eyes widening in disbelief. What is he doing? How can he go from 0 to a 100 so fast? 

“I hope this kiss haunts you, so you never forget that you were the only woman who ever had me at the palm of her hand and you decided to throw it all away with that calamitous cynicism of yours.” 

So that’s what’s happening. You can never expect to beat a master at his own game, Alastor is still cruel when he is merciful. When push comes to shove he will always win. There’s only so far you can get with taunting his repentance,  playing with his heart laid bare at your feet, filled with sorrow and begging for forgiveness. He was ready to apologize, to dry your tears and soothe your fears, worshiping your delicious body and the ground you walked on. He was ready to admit that this was half his fault until your venom stung him beyond the realm of spoken word. 

“I understand it now, it must be hard for you to cope with your own decisions, your own failings, so you take it all on me. I hope you remember this when you come back to beg, on your knees for my forgiveness. And trust me, you will.” Of course Alastor would torture you with the knowlodge of his guilt and despair, the loss of his benevolence, the promise of desire and carnality. He will always be a torturer at heart, and you forgot that’s the first rule you need to always remember when dealing with him. 

“You’ve got your demons darling” never was your precious pet name said with such disdain. Static starts to gather around you, and in a flash his hand is on your neck

“and they all, Look. Like. Me” his voice is distorted when he finishes cursing you, there’s a tempest behind his eyes that entraps you, the burning red of his irises condemn you. 

The Radio demon is a raging fire, an oncoming storm. But he is also meticulous, cruel and calculating, if you dared to question him, to step on the grace he gladly gave you, you clearly were aware of everything he did to lull his absence. All the plans and contingencies he made to hush your worrying thoughts about him and bathe your threshing heart on tranquiline waters.

And you decided to mock it. To mock him and his love for you. 

You are crying again, but this time Alastor is fucking glad he was the one to hurt you, to reduce you to a mess of regret and tears. 

Tonight in Hell, power shifts from one Overlord to another. Sinners plan and freak out accordingly.

 But their machinations are all meaningless. 

The 7 years you spent away from Alastor made you sad, the three years spent on Vox’s side made you bitter. The V’s operate on poison, it’s their fuel. And maybe the poison drips through.

Tonight you drank the poison and it broke you.

Tonight, for the first time, the poison broke Alastor too.

[lonepantheress]

♡ txt binge-watching shows w/ their s/o

pairing: ot5!txt x reader

genre: LOL CRACK? fluff i guess

warnings: unserious-ness

a/n: my first try at headcanons......

Yeonjun

like Gossip Girl or PLL or something.

he seems like the kind of person to be really pissed at moments with shitty writing and you’d have to remind him that he eats it up every time.

omg, and he’d start arguments with you about hypotheticals HE MADE based on the show.

like, “y/n, what if me and you met again after 15 years and had kids but we were both single and eligible and hot. what would you do?” “yeonjun, i have no idea. it depends.” “oh, okay. you hate me then?”

he’d be so flip-floppy too. just agreeing with you to agree with you.

“omg.. she’s such a bitch. I hate her.” “I actually really like her character.” “no, yeah, me too. she’s so cool, i love her.”

then when you guys are having real-life drama, he’d get all frustrated about whatever's going on and be like, “this is just like when serena and blair had to fight with georgina.” and you’re like “yes, exactly!”

he’s sweet though, he’d side with whoever YOU’RE siding with just so you guys could have a bonding moment LOL. your faves are his faves (as far as you know..)

Soobin

ok so it is established that he is a weeb

I feel like he would turn on those animes that are like 700 eps and mostly filler and be like, “this is one of my faves!”

and then you can’t complain because he just said it’s one of his faves…

he would try to meet in the middle though and find some that you might also be into

keyword: try

he’d pull out the most obscure show on the most sketchy website with the most incorrect subtitles and be like, “no, y/n, i swear it’s super good.”

and then you give it a chance, and you ask him to explain it.

and he explains it pretty well, but when you ask again he’s getting all emotional about SOMETHING that’s going on and you’re like “???? why…”

you guys will find your fave though and it’s so sweet bc it’s something you guys really look forward to.

you won’t look at spoilers or watch ahead or anything like that. HE TAKES IT LIKE SUPER SERIOUSLY.

and then you guys will get all emotion together and it’s super cute. 

Beomgyu

RuPaul's Drag Race

or like Love Island or the Bachelor or something.

would get super invested in the drama and take sides and everything.

I feel like if you liked someone he didn’t, he would take it personally and be like “BUT WHY???”

he’d fancy himself a prediction god and try to make bets on who will win and who will end up with who.

his real talent is consistently being wrong.

like “WATCH - this time i’m right!”

and then they’re out by, like, the third episode.

or when someone has a really funny or flirty conversation, he’d point to the screen and be like, “Us,” “Omg, that’s so us…” “Why is this lowkey us?”

he’d be DEVASTATED when his faves do not succeed. 

it was clear they’d lose their challenge or whatever but he’s like “WTF????”

but would laugh in your FACE if your faves got eliminated

Taehyun

a show that really takes dedication to watch.

like Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead or Breaking Bad, or something

he would lowkey be pissed off if you watched an episode or two without him, or read spoilers online. 

but then he would accidentally spoil stuff for you and watch episodes without you so…

I could sort of see this going two different ways

he’s like super invested in it and is dead silent throughout the episode, barely looking away from the screen

or he’s watching and he’s like, “oh, she’s for sure gonna die.” and you’re like, “what? no!” and then she dies five mins later.

then he treats the end of the episode like a podcast and talks to you for like an hour about why the characters did what they did, and what you guys think is gonna happen next. 

kind of sweet cuz he would act uninterested at first and then become the most invested.

Kai

those cooking shows, but the ones where they’re really nice to each other.

like the Great British Baking Show, that show is so low pressure….

the contestants would be casually describing some incredibly complex dessert they’re making and he would go, “babe, we could definitely do that.”

no, you definitely could not!

you guys would confidently suck at making predictions, but you suck together! how cute!

“omg those are the cutest cakes ever! She has to come on top this episode!” “no, for sure. she’s been so consistently good!”

and then judging time comes and the cakes are bland, falling apart, undercooked, and burned at the same time. 

and you two are like, “oh…”

he would also suddenly turn into a baking expert, like when someone is doing their thing he would yell at the screen.

“oh my god. too much salt! NOOOO, TOO MUCH SALT!” and you need to tell him to calm tf down.

[lyss-sketchbox]

Ok coming off anon because I'm trying to conquer the constant social anxiety lmao (same person who sent you Longass Thoughts on Natlan AQ) - SO YEAH personally I like Ei's character but foaming a bit at the mouth because I feel like my favorite parts of her character (namely she was NOT ready to be the archon when makoto kicked the bucket, she's got that good ol' warrior-weapon mindset knocking around in there- having her actually confront the ugly truth of the consequences of her actions was such a missed opportunity. it would've been SO good to see her actually get confronted personally without any sugarcoating. i think her learning to be less of a shitty archon would've been so much better then)

also like. im sure there were a lot of ways to improve Inazuma's story but personally i thought it would've been cooler if kokomi was a bit more. morally grey lmao. like willing to do not-so-nice things to fight god because that's what they're doing. mortals attempting to defy the god that holds dominion over their land (bc the electro archon isn't really Watatsumi's god specifically!! bc uh lmao ei killed him lol)

but yea for real in natlan every "serious problem" was severely undercut by "actually it's all good now" like "kachina is totally fine after being chased by the abyss in the afterlife, she was protected by the wayob so it's all good and she's also mentally ok" and it's like what. what are you talking about.

AND THE ARchON thing i feel like im the only one who has a gripe. tbf the story is not done yet BUT MY QUESTION IS CELESTIA ALLOWED A HUMAN (MULTIPLE EVEN) TO ASCend to the divine throne???? Like what??? IT feels like it runs counter to everything-

and like uh feels like we got really really far away from like. when you talk about the archon war in liyue it was a literal bloodbath. sacrifices upon sacrifices were made, the modern day liyue was built upon the corpses of friend and foe alike because there was no other choice. you couldn't abstain, you would die.

but in natlan???? no gods??? what???? im just losing it more than a bit over here that natlan is trying simultaneously to be a grim land of constant war but also sunshine friendship and rainbows.

at this point im prepared to be disappointed and just crossing my fingers the good writing comes back for snezhnaya's AQ bc if they fuck up snezhnaya i will literally never forgive them

Its all good man, youre so welcome to debate and talk off anon, we may disagree but never hate.

Im putting all my ramblings under cut since its gonna be as equally long and spoilery hdjsnsn

About Ei

I completely forgot about how Ei was originally a kagemusha, a weapon for her sister, her sister did all the archon work while Ei simply stood by her side. Its makes perfect sense that after the death of her sister, she would make very bad not thought out decisions and because she is an archon now, those bad decisions has really really bad aftermaths.

I personally do not have any gripes about her being basically clueless about the outside world. Grief manifests in different ways and locking yourself away and justifying it as a twisted way to gain enlightment of eternity the way your sister did, it can make sense. It is a consequence!! She is clueless of how to be an archon and what is going on in her nation, her SQ could have been used to show her trying to understand and emphatize with her people to be a better archon. NOT A REASON TO MAKE HER AN uwu sad defenseless waifu cant cook and doesnt know anything. Brother she fucking killed people and almost destroyed her nation.

About Kokomi

I like the idea of morally grey kokomi actually. It makes alot of sense. Kokomi and the watatsumi people might have some vishap descendance but they are still humans, even less so with visions. Theyre also lacking the supplies and expertise needed to continue a war with an entire nation and its archon. It would make sense that she would accept the fatuis help since they share the sentiment of 'getting to inazuma and its archon'.

But it was shown she wasnt even aware who the anonymous donor is, hell she wasnt aware people where using delusions until people starts dying. And for a girl who wrote an entire guide book with 100 different alternate plans, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING...............

About Natlan's system

Yeah they really brushed off the dying part and potentially being stuck in genshin limbo if you dont get out in time too casually. The tiny child you retrieved from limbo also is... very chill and not mentally scarred or anything, she wasnt putting up a brave face, she was simply unaffected?????? One on kachina's voiceovers is gonna talk about her death but im not friendship 4 with her yet. I hope it explains SOMETHING.

Yeah the first time i heard that the archon was human and has been replaced multiple times had me gawking too, i can excuse that Celestia has been strangely inactive FOR NOW.

I wanted to bring up how the hydro archon throne being broken and Neuvi regaining his sovernity didnt even call Celestia to action but GUESS WHAT??? I DONT KNOW IF NATLAN HAPPENED BEFORE OR AFTER FONTAINE BECAUSE THEY DECIDE TO LOWER THE REQUIREMENTS TO DO NATLAN AQ!!!!!!! But well if it happened after (since Neuvis end dialogue told us to go to Natlan next), well... Celestia isnt called either so theyve just been inactive for 500 years of Natlans weird system ig.

About the """Nation of War"""

Yeah man. Sacrifices and war was dealt better in liyue. Same as Natlan, it is a nation built of war. There was war in the past, sacrifices were made to built the liyue we know now. But the sacrifices in liyue was not brushed off or belittled, those sacrifices had meaning and the people of liyue hold very high regards for the fallen. In Natlan? Its treated like some sort of sick hunger games event, they made war into entertainment.

Oh but they need the tournaments to keep the natlan fire alive. THEN RUN A SEPERATE FUCKING TOURNEY?????? MAKE EVERYONE WHO HAS AN ANCIENT NAME HAVE PROPER TRAINING AND GO TO WAR IN ARMIES PROPER???? THIS SHIT DOESNT NEED TO BE ENTERTAINMENT AND YET YOU DID. Maybe the flames are small BECAUSE YOU PICK ONLY 5 PEOPLE EVERYTIME WHEN THERES LITERALLY NO REASON VETERANS LIKE KINICH AND MUALANI TO SIT IT OUT JUST BECAUSE THEY LOST.

Oh but the ode of resurrection only works on limited people THEN SEND OUT THE BEST PEOPLE THEN???????? MUALANI, A 3 TIMES VETERAN, LOST TO KACHINA. CLEARLY THE TOURNEYS ARENT RELIABLE TO PICK WHO TO SEND.

While i can understand that while Liyue is past war and Natlan is still in war, this is... not how people in war act. The entertainment the happiness the hospitality. Its not efforts to keep morale high its literally just... happy people, sometimes they get attacked by abyss monsters yeah cool but otherwise theyre completely happy just living like that. Thats why the Nation of War thing isnt working at all, these people are not how people STILL IN WAR act. Theres no anxiety no uncertainty no worry at all, not even a smidget. These people live like happy prospering people.

You know what happened to people tryna be happy prospering people while still in war in liyue? Havria.

I hope they bring back the high AR requirement for snezhnaya so snezhnaya can be chronologically correct. I hope they take snezhnaya seriously. I hope Natlan atleast wont pull an inazuma and tripped at the very end

NONE OF THAT POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BS EITHER I didnt believe it when mualani fucking knocked it over our heads over and over and over again and its not gonna work now.

[paingoes]

Destroyer - Rupture

(Masterlist)

(Content: starvation, captivity, violence mention, trafficking mention, death mention, “gay” as an insult, fear, minor emeto)

=======================

They’d locked him in his room again. Delta was getting the sickest sense of déjà vu. He was glad the tap was still running and that he’d been stashing food, because the first three days they’d forgotten to feed him. Maybe it was understandable. The Thorn had descended into chaos, presumably. Simon didn’t even come see him, probably in a total tizzy over his ever-dwindling job security. Delta had been locked up alone for a week now. When he’d first been thrown in here, he’d still been splattered with Paris’s blood.

He turned the fan on, letting the cold air wash over him. It helped to calm him down. 

The only access he had to the outside world was with the laptop. Everyone online knew. There had been grainy footage posted of the assassination attempt. Everyone thought it was Nezu. In truth, the Thales bloodlust ran deep — and it ran in different directions. There could have been any number of mercenaries who were carrying out their business against the imperial line. But there was no denying that Paris’s death would certainly be convenient for the general.

Paris’s actual condition was uncertain. He wasn’t dead yet, not officially. But Delta had seen the spot where the arrow pierced him. They were probably just keeping him on ice. He could already see how this would play out. Paris would die. The next person to inherit Δ-107 would be Nezu, who had already made his intentions with Delta very clear. He’d put his brain in a jar, if he was feeling merciful. And even if by some miracle he did not end up in Nezu’s court, the odds still weren’t good. If everyone had really found out about the first “escape attempt”, whoever it was would likely kill or maim him. So that was that.

Delta was sick of Empire. Any lingering loyalty he might’ve had to it would die with Paris. This place was a cesspool collapsing in on itself. He felt disgusted and ashamed to have ever been part of it.

There was no one to betray now, no one to punish him, no one to anger and no one to disappoint. He took a deep breath, sorting through the directory once more. There was nothing to lose. He was dead anyway.

ndhakdvsnnd: EMPIREfile2ndQ.zip (574 MB) ndhakdvsnnd: enjoy guys

His laptop almost exploded.

=============

He had to shut the computer down. In part because it was overheating to the point of burning, but in part because the attention scared him. He forced himself to read for a few hours before opening the machine back up. There were thousands of replies to the thread.

chat is this real

FAKE AND GAY

check 92. that would explain all the lights in the sky by scandia.

empire is cooked

We are not doing this shit again 

lol did the hera trafficking conspiracy just get canonized 

I used to work accounting at Empire. this is the same code they used, sooooo 

Nice knowing you OP

Delta reread that last response carefully. He checked his VPN settings, making sure he was still somewhat protected. It was on. He looked briefly through his post history to see if there was anything there that might hint at his identity. But he’d been careful. Before Lemuria, he’d never even acknowledged anything relating to Empire publicly.

His inbox was full. He went through, deleting every single stranger that had messaged him “real?”

There were some people he did recognize, though. A girl he’d been messaging on the programming board was pinging him again. They’d only had a few conversations before, but they tended to run long. She was always nice to him. He trusted her to be cool about it.

katkittykat: whoaaaahhhhh where did u find this :0

katkittykat: u have been practicing ur leet haxx skills !!!!

katkittykat: u set ur proxy up right  ?? theyre gonna try and swat u

katkittykat: dw its a rite of passage :3

ndhakdvsnnd: yes the vpn works. i dont know what that means.

katkittykat: its just an expression 

katkittykat: u should b careful tho im gonna send u smth

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

katkittykat: :P

He clicked the link she’d sent. It was a guide she had clearly made herself, written in the same cheery pink text. It contained instructions for how to finish encrypting the browser and ways to brick anyone who came looking for him. It was a bit above his level, but she must have believed he was capable of it. Besides, he had nothing better to do. It took him the rest of the night to set up. She was still online when he finished.

ndhakdvsnnd: okay i did it

katkittykat: yay!!! are u planning on uploading more

ndhakdvsnnd: i dont know if i will have time

katkittykat: ur not gonna tell me ur source right  ??

ndhakdvsnnd: no

katkittykat: lololol i didnt think so

katkittykat: b safe pls <3

B safe. It was a little late for that. Delta looked through the Empire portal again. It had only been a few hours, but he was happy to see that the leak hadn’t yet been acknowledged. A little flash of fear ran through his mind. He thought about what it would be like when it did eventually get caught. He reminded himself that he was already doomed – and doomed was a binary state. Though logical, it was not a very comforting line of reasoning. He stood up and calmly walked to the bathroom, dry-heaving into the sink. His body knew exactly how to feel about it. It turned itself inside out in protest.

~~~

Tags: @catnykit @indigoviolet311 @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @defire @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump @pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump

[okase]

Thoughts on Veilguard so far, not really spoilery but still using a read more just in case:

Enjoying it so far, it feels more Mass Effect than Dragon Age, specifically Andromeda if Andromeda had more time to cook. But honestly having played both origins and inquisition lately, I don't mind it! It's just different.

The writing so far is... Fine, serviceable. It has that typical Bioware jank in places but I've yet to come across anything that's stood out to me as particularly off-putting. Despite playing for most of yesterday I'm still pretty early in the story so we'll see where it goes, but I want to see where it goes which is a good sign! And there have been moments that made me smile for sure.

I like the companions so far, the one I'm more lukewarm to is Neve so far but I get the impression she's more of a slow burn character rather than a bad one. I was worried Harding would be a bit dull and rely too much on our nostalgia but she's actually really endearing still which is nice. Bellara was the one I was most worried about initially because Bioware quirky characters tend to irritate me rather than endear me but I actually really like her and might romance her if I can resist Emmerich lmao. And the last one I've recruited so far is Lucanis who I really like and am now considering romancing in a future playthrough. He's a hot mess in a good way

I like being sassy at Solas and I like the different dad vibes I'm getting from him and particularly Varric. They didn't kill Varric immediately like I thought they would but I fully expect that he'll die later lol

I like Rook! My thoughts before launch were that if we were going to have a voiced protagonist that the ideal would be that they'd be somewhere between Hawke and the Inquisitor, which they are! More personality than the latter with more room for custom characterization than the former. Idk how much different dialogue affects how Rook acts when you aren't directly giving input but my Rook so far has been sweet and a bit silly, which is what I was going for anyway. Also the scene with the mementos was nice and it was cool to not only establish a character as trans but also you could choose how they feel about it currently. I've yet to see it come up since but I have no doubt it will.

Gameplay wise it's a bit repetitive but honestly so are all dragon age games so it's fine, the loop is satisfying, it works. I've had fun. Though I've quickly realized with my play style that I should have picked rogue like I originally intended because I suck at blocking 😭

Also it's probably because my graphics card is ancient but I have had performance issues + stuttering. It's not constant but it's noticeable and gets particularly bad in Arlathan specifically for some reason. That said someone pointed out that if you have an older graphics card you should turn off upscaling so I'm gonna do that and see how that goes!

But yeah overall it's been fun and I look forward to playing more of it!

[random-conspiracy]

Hot take of the day:

I think my only ick with cannibalism is that it's very nasty and you can't have your cake and eat it ahashahsa.

For context, my family used to breed sheep and we had a small restaurant, so I'm familiar with the process of killing and eviscerating a big creature. You need to tie up the sheep because obviously is about to die and then you cut its throat so it can bleed and eventually pass away. Is it the best way? I'm not sure I was 8, but it's a long and probably harmless way, a very visual allegoric hourglass.

Now you need to hang the body from the ceiling and do a incision from the neck to the genitals, exposing the ribcage under the fat and skin. And oh boy! This is the big deal, because now its time to open the ribcage and let all the sweet stuff fall down (in a bucket if you're not doing this just for funsies ahshasa).

And this is my ick with cannibalism: The sheep had no time to digest anything, the intestines and digestive sacks are still full of forage, acid and shit and IT'S NASTY AS FUCK. That's just the obvious stuff, then you have other jewels in the mud like the gallbladder (we used to yeet it as far away as we could into the field).

If you ever think about eating intestines or anything at all you need to clean them VERY GOOD and it's hard work. My father was the butcher, my mother cleaned the guts and taking care of the intestines and stomach is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. All the shit and food waste, washed away.

I'm all money into cannibalism but if you're flappy hands all happy into eating a guy straight up from ground you need to make peace with cropophagy because you're gonna taste some shit ashhsa. Yeah, the human body has not enough fat or muscle to even make a decent steak so you're not even playing that card, you must go for the organs.

And yeah yeah, we all want to romantic symbolism of eating the heart (even when it's fucking impossible to eat the heart because it's like chewing gum but okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk I guesssssssss), then you go for the lungs and the liver. But honestly, that's it. You don't even touch the intestines or the stomach if you're too comfortable with cannibalism but draw the line at cropophagy ahshshasa.

Hannibal Lecter is the prime example in the other side of the coin, because he KNOWWWWWWS, like he may indulge in some pedestriam eating but com'on hashasadhasa. He kills, he cleans, he cooks. He's absolutely not eating shit because he's too good for casual raw meat. But then, what is the point?

"It was no chicken" Like yeah, don't you say dubfuck but it COULD had been chicken you know? ahsahsha. That's the issue. "This burger has human meat" yes, but's its a burger not different from any other. What's the point here of it being made with human flesh?? The LOLs? No one cares.

At least Lecter is a cuisine master, and can get the morbid x delicious mix right in the point, but if we're serious how well do you know how to cook? And remember we are not talking about your all purpose beef, we're talking about guts. How well can you cook some liver or some stomach in your mid kitchen where you don't even use the oven that much?

The real art here is the bestial consumption of tacking down your prey and ruminate flesh brom bones, soaking wet in blood.

And you must be mentalized for some shit ahshahsasa. (Also, you were absolutely right about it, what's the deal with sacred cannibalism. "Oh, I love you so much I need to eat you and integrate you as a part of me" No, you're not ashahsas. You're shitting all of it in some hours. What a fucking act of devotion idiot ahahsa, shitting the vessel of your love straigh into the toilet, you could do some stuffing idk).

Anyway, what's the conclusion here?

You can't be picky if you're a cannibal. Well, you CAN but com'on. Lecter is not gonna fuck you.

Lungs are the best organs. You stab those little guys, inflate them with water and boom! A cute fountain! They expand like balloons.

[kafus]

ok i am gonna share that nightmare i had yesterday actually. tw for a variety of topics including cults, attempted murder of a young child, kind of barely an age gap relationship between a younger child and a teenager, gun violence, listen it was crazy i have no idea what my sleeping brain was cooking. i should not have to say this about a nightmare i had while unconscious but to be clear i don't ENDORSE any of these topics IRL or some bullshit like that

also this nightmare involved pokemon horizons characters for some reason so if you watch the pokemon anime and don't want to hear about hypothetical nightmare scenarios of very AU things happening to them i would also avoid

so i'm setting the stage here. as far as i can tell i was just normal me in this dream (notable because i am usually Not "just me" in my dreams) but i was a teenager again instead of a 24 year old. i was living in a large multi-story house with the main cast of pokemon horizons (everyone on the brave asagi), and like a few other people not from horizons but they don't really matter. the dream timeskipped through a lot of years of me living there, like i had been there for a while.

despite me saying the cast of horizons was there my brain was very pick and choosey with what actual character traits or recognizable features remained of these characters other than their names/general appearances. importantly liko was a good bit younger than her anime appearance, not sure of her exact age but like, elementary school. she was Extremely chronically ill with some sort of undefined illness my brain made up, i guess. she lived in the basement of the house and was totally bedridden Most of the time, as to survive she had to constantly be hooked up to a somewhat bulky machine. she could be off of it for very brief periods but to get around anywhere, that machine had to come with her. she was generally way more timid and also way more woozy and relied on everyone for care.

^ like imagine her but even smaller and very sickly constantly. if you have never watched pokemon horizons lol

^ the main other person i interacted with was amethio who was probably the most recognizable - similar personality, though it was probably what i'd imagine him to be like after a hypothetical redemption arc, still irritable and brooding but like, he has a soft side. me and him were around the same age here (14?) and we were the main two watching after liko. he was like?? in love with liko??? my brain really never acknowledged the age gap here it was just normal and no one thought anything of it. that being said that's not something he expressed directly to her and they weren't in a relationship

anyway so the major thing here is that this household was pretty much a small cult. isolated from the outside world, general actual cult shit, but also we had some sort of belief we were all indoctrinated into by the higher up adults that liko had to Die at a specific time and date, i don't remember if it was for sacrificial reasons or if a reason was even provided in the dream at all, but tldr me and amethio were expected to unplug her life support stuff without her knowing and let her die with the assumption that she would be too woozy or confused to do anything about it herself. after a lot of implied bonding with her i was expected to pretty much murder a child. suffice to say this was horrifying

we actually did the deed and like halfway through watching liko's energy fade i started thinking like. wait. why am i doing this. i know that liko is supposed to die, but is she really? am i really doing the right thing? watching her die is awful. i've cared for her so much for years and i don't want her to die. so in the middle of all of this i take amethio aside (he was off in another room because he didn't want to watch liko suffer, i was taking the role of making sure it happened) and i'm like. amethio why are we doing this. you love her right. you love liko so you don't want her to die. i don't want to kill her. and he's like. Fuck you're right this is insane i don't care about the past however many years i cannot let liko die. so we agree to plug her life support stuff back in and confront the rest of the house

after ensuring liko was hooked back up and starting to recover, i made my way upstairs to confront the adults in the house while amethio worked on getting her out of there safely, and like. holy shit.

NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE ANY SORT OF DREAM/NIGHTMARE WHERE FRIEDE FROM POKEMON HORIZONS TRIES TO LITERALLY KILL ME, but i GUESS this is the life i'm leading now. i was like dude why are we killing liko you can't just make me kill a child i'm sorry and his positive demeanor quickly turned sour and the rest of the dream devolved into a blur of confusing violence, one because i was being chased after multiple fully grown adults in the body of a teenager, both by violent pokemon and like, literal guns, i was being shot at, and also because from here on out the dream started heavily deteriorating, like it became more weird and less linear and stuff that didn't make sense was happening. i never knew what ended up happening to amethio and liko because in a particularly close bout of violence i suddenly woke up sweating/shaking/heart pounding. and then after i caught my breath and realized i was awake i was just like. HELLO???????? WHAT THE FUCK?????

idk the last time i had a dream this vivid much less one this off the walls. i keep thinking about it cause like, due to Reasons if i'm dreaming about liko, especially as someone in such a vulnerable and awful position, that probably means something/pertains to my personal real life trauma, like the general aura of this dream read as a ptsd nightmare to me, but fuck if i'm gonna be able to parse all that today i have no idea what the fuck any of this means. i'm just losing my shit. especially because i went back to sleep afterwards and had another dream about pokemon horizons characters but it was literally just cute shit where i was liko and in a relationship with dot high school AU style and we were hanging out after class. like the complete tonal whiplash is so fucking funny. why on earth did my brain make the most wildly contrasting pokemon fanfictions of all time while i was asleep. helpppp

[cerealmonster15]

im letting sims mostly run in the bg as i do other things and peek back in now and then

chenya!!!!! he maxed mischief i think almost completely on his own bc i mostly left his sim up to his own devices lol

ive also let deuce hatch threeeee chicks in his coop. i kept getting the notif that the chickens and rooster were getting old but they havent died.. im not sure if it's bc i have aging turned off for regular sims so maybe the same goes for animals but they just stay old forever? or maybe it just takes a while and you get notified a lot lol. i remember selling epels cow bc i thought it was gonna die but maybe i was bamboozled.

chenya wants to start beef with some random npc and i do think his mischief related aspiration goal thing needs him to be disliked so i mean go nuts pal

riddle also got level 9 gaming skill lol everyone loves to autonomously use that gamer mat, and since i play heartslabyul house the most often they have the highest skills... you know who i havent played in a while tho? fish dorm. ill check them after i see if i can get trey that last promotion-

...he heard me.

he let himself in and started fixing the sink lol

i had cater practicing his spells and now SILVER HIS BOYFRIEND has called to challenge him to a duel. ive been rejecting the duels lately bc i get them when ive got sims in the middle of something but sure why not!!!

rip...

aughhh trey please yorue so CLOSEEEEEEEE next time for sure...

YAAAAY!!!!!!

...cater is so close to his too tho. fish can wait a little longer...

riddle is listening to him practice :)

YES maybe he can play jazz tunes in the mostro lounge... i s2g if i get the dine out or whatever expansion it's all over for u bitches... actually what if i remade all my twst sims again but in sims 3. i could have azul slowly purchase all the businesses in the land. true tycoon fdsjfklsdj

why does this feel like a threat kfdsfklh "hey lilia and i are FRIENDS so goof fucking LUCK trying to thwart my deal with bananaclaw now bitch"

^ this was all from earlier in the week lol i forgot to come back to it!!! but cater should have his promotion when he goes into work today. also the reaper rewards week 2 started i guess!!

so while i waited for cater to go to work i summoned the reaper again, and we gotta be friends with him, which is kinda hard bc my sims all keep developing a fear of death lol. i did swap this household to have the scare enjoyers trait on this lot or something bc JUICE IS SCARED CONSTANTLY but that makes the others get bored sometimes lol. so caters scared but hes also excited about it. i hope he doesnt fucking die or whatever lol

ok well it worked and then cater i guess got over it. he went to go talk to trey and fucking SPRINTED through the house to get to him lol it was kinda cute 😭 trey has i guess just been standing there making drink after drink after drink lol

FSJFDSFKLJ OK I GOT A SHOT OF HIM RUNNING hes going to work now and bc hes so energized i guess hes got this manic sprint going lol.

this grim reaper quest is like "ooo you need to be leveling stuff like gardening and cooking :)" as if trey and riddle havent already got that covered!!! fishing is another story lol i really need to check FLOYD but while im waiting for cater i may as well knock these out

keith invited ortho over and ortho went to go hang at treys bar lol

CAY GOT HIS PROMOTION!!

and trey learned to confuse people with magic lol. OKAY TIME TO SEE WHAT OCTAVINELLE IS DOING!!!

i sent floyd to fish and like. he has cowplant berries. i have NO memory of how he couldve gotten those. anyway that finished up the grim reaper quests this week!!! i kept seeing people on youtube pop up in thumbnails being like IT'S HARD??? but like. not with my twst boys who have stacked skills lol i have been breezing through them so far...

oh yea lemme check the relationships-

oh my god. jade and malleus went from disliked or w/e to mega haters. i dont see much different with anyone else kfhsg

i forgot floyds life aspiration stuff was related to being a spellcaster so thats why he was the only one that was already magic when i went to turn everyone else lol

azul got a huge W at work??? one of those pop up choices to invest or not in a startup and i got 50k for doing it... godspeed you business master i guess - OH HES ALREADY LEVEL 10 AT HIS JOB i didnt even realize lol... i mustve pushed it a while ago lol and jades level 9 mixologist ... good for them

okay my question on if jaderook happened bc i did it or if the game did it was answered - it mutstve been the game bc i had to make them introduce themselves despite already being in a relationship lol

also even tho i have relationship decay off it still feels like it does lol the romance i had for trey and jade seems to have shrunk and also hes stuck at acquaintances despite such a big friendship bar. thats an issue ive had pop up quite a few times in sims 4 tbh 😑 floyd and trey have also seemed to decay in the romance bar they auto started lol. but i guess maybe thats from story progression also idk!!

trey called and asked to come over so now theyre having a little polycule party while i sent floyd off to go fish more and azuls at work

HANG ON i had azul invite jamil over so they could play chess bc azul was stressed after work and like. DID I NOT ALREADY HAVE THEM DO THAT?? i guess not. i just had them at max romance soulmate level and i never had them make it official LOL wow. and azul did that on his own just now like i didnt click on it. i invited jamil over and made them hug, jamil auto rubbed azuls shoulders, and azul turned around and was like WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND lol

lilia showed up while floyd was fishing so i made them hang the fuck out!! chaos bffs RIGHT NOW!!!

i had jamil stay the night and cook w/azul... in sims azul can fulfill his dream of getting jamil in his kitchen and to willingly hang out with him LOL... floyd JADE is lurking in the back to come cause problems i think tho, hes headed straight for jamil while theyre trying to coo- HANG ON

WHAT THE FUCK LSDOFHGKLJFKLSJ he just walked right through them into the counter hdlfkjsj HEY GUYS STOP COOKING WHATS UP HIIII even at the top it says awkward encounter... fkhsdlfhs he fucking broke the laws of physics to crash their DATE!!

okayyy like he left the counter but hes standing directly between them just going on his phone , jamil and azul are just 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ waiting for him to leave LOL

i saw malleus outside doing pushups and since jade hates his ass i had him run over and commit the greatest sin possible with malleus and give him a FALSE INVITATION!!!

also ace showed up uninvited, and neither of the tweels had met him yet so i had them do that - floyd immediately annoyed him LOL. then he just kinda walked inside and started using their computer, as sims tend to do . i had floyd bother him more and that hiad mixed success, so theyre not off to a great start

anyway im sleepy and also hit image limit anyway so i guess thats the end of this update klhsdklfhs maybe ill revisit diasomnia next time, i wanna give someone the goth jeans i unlocked from the grim reaper rewards. and the earrings? idr if i remembered to give them those either.

[cosmoshard]

Ohhh, can you elaborate on the Mutant/Yokai apocalypse au??

Okay funny thing: i wrote this au back in 2021 when Rise was just beginning to air its second season, so I had no way of knowing we were gonna get a movie, nor what its plot would be like, so imagine my surprise when I look back at this au and realize its just an alternate, (much more amateur) version of the Rottmnt movie premise. Now its not plot for plot, there’s a ton of differences OKAY LEGGO!!✨

Like the movie: the turtles are all adults and the leaders of the revolution, with the help of their friends. They are in hiding from the rest of the world because of lack of warning before the invasion/revolution and are slowly fighting back. All the turtles had roles to play: Leo was a fighter pilot/foot-soldier, operating from the air where he had a birds eye view. Rlly leaned into his cocky do-it-his-own-way attitude lol. He also adopted a small yokai girl he found one day on the battlefield.

Raph was the tank, the one always on the front lines, first one there and last one out. He got real tough over the years so he was always using himself as a shield. He also saw a lot of allies die so he became quieter and more stoic. The opposing side called him Walking Death because whenever he arrived he would lay waste to thousands of their kind, mind stuck in savage raph as a way to cope wt all the violence. Raph had a relationship with a mona lisa type character and he has a small kid named enan, who’s a mutant Gecko/turtle hybrid.

Donnie was the brains of the operation as usual, in classic neurodivergent fashion he forgets to take care of himself and holes up in his underground lab where he tries to constantly stay on top of the Yokai’s mystic magic with new inventions. A bad lab accident left his shell and backbone exposed along with destroying his left arm and scarred his side pretty bad. He now has a robot arm and is bionically attuned to his inventions. (I have a more on his inventions but i dont want to spoil it all as i might keep them for future ideas :D)

Mikey is the cook/home-base man. Making sure everything stays running and doing his best to keep the family together. He is fastly becoming more doctor Delicate Touch moreso then Soft Mikey as he used to be. He is also gets to babysit the most often cuz he’s always at home 🙄/lh

April became their resident Medical Expert and has appointed herself as Donnie’s daily nagger to get sleep and food. She also ends up being a sort of therapist for the resistance but doesnt give herself the same luxury even tho the bros offer many times. Because she stays in base most of the time her and Mikey end up shouldering the same responsibilities and they understand each other on a deeper emotional level then most of the family.

Other Characters Roles:

Shredder is back and is the leader of the yokai’s, but is distant and only using them to conquer the world and become emperor. Baron Draxum is his Star General and the one mostly in the spotlight, therefore directly influencing the yokai below them, (and any major decisions they came up with.) Big mama demanded to be called Empress and she commands most of the army

A couple more things✨

Shredder’s whole plan is to reach the core of the planet to find the source/core of all mystic energy (which was later revealed to be canon!?? in the s2 finale wt the empyrean spring beneath the hidden city.) the resistance has to find it before shredder can so they can turn the tide of the war.

That’s basically it, other than plot points, thank you for asking!!! It took a little bit to make it coherent because i write in bullet notes lol, if ya want to know we can dm or reblog chain :3

[heliswife]

:) anon is here to add another request to your already crowded inbox! ( I apologise ) You can let this fall to the bottom of your list of requests if needed, you can do this ( if you want to ) whenever you feel like it :)) I just had an idea that I thought was funny, Akito and Toya ( Poly if you can please! :) ) with an S/O who’s sick so the boys go to their house and while Akito’s making sure their S/O doesn’t die of dehydration or something, Toya tries to make soup for them, so when the S/O’s asleep Akito comes into the kitchen and tries the soup which ( since Toya cant cook ) is unfit for human consumption so Akito and Toya have to make another one together :) You can do this whenever’s best for you if you’d like to do it :)) Thank you!! ( sorry I wrote a minific request again lol :’) )

-:) anon!

IM SORRY I HAVE TO DO THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF LET THIS FALL TO THE BOTTOM 😭😭 THIS IS SO FUNNY

Akito and Toya cooking for sick reader (GONE WRONG?!?!?!?! DO NOT TRY AT HOME❗❗❗ 😱😱😱)

"103° (or 40° if you're not from 'muricuh 🤢), that's pretty high y/n.." Toya looked at the thermometer, seated on the left side of the bed. You were lucky him and Akito were there for you though, or else you would be completely suffering alone.

"Yea," Akito added, feeling your forehead. He was on the opposite side of the bed from Toya, "Hey, Toya, do you think you could make y/n soup? I'll make sure they don't die."

"Oh come on Akito, I'm not gonna-" you started before erupting in a coughing fit.

"Exactly what I mean," Akito ruffled your hair.

"I'll go make the soup now you two," Toya announced before getting up and leaving the room.

Thirty minutes passed and you were already passed out, sound asleep. Akito tucked you in before going to check on Toya.

"Oh, Akito. Do you want to taste the soup?" Toya asked Akito.

"Sure," Akito took a spoon, dipped it in the soup, and tasted it. He grimaced.

"How is it?" Toya asked again.

"Um..." Akitos face lost color, "I'm sorry Toya, but i think y/n is going to get even sicker if they consume this."

"Oh," Toya took the spoon from Akito and tried some of the concoction himself, having the same reaction as the ginger.

"Lets try it again, 'kay? Lets search up a recipe on YouTube or something and use that," Akito suggested.

The two boys came into your room, a bowl of soup in Toyas hands.

"Y/n, we made you soup. Have some, it'll make you feel better," Toya sat down next to you and handed you the spoon. You sat up and tried the soup.

"It's pretty good," you said. Akito and Toya both sighed a sigh of relief.

"Thank god I was able to try Toyas soup before this," Akito said, "You would've died."

"Oh come on Akito, you're overexaggerating," Toya laughed softly.

[official-scrp-blog]

Presenting, the gang as incorrect quotes:

~

Elowyn: If we’re in trouble, just throw Aestus at the problem, and hope for the best.

~

Aestus: This can’t get any worse. Can it?

Elowyn: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

~

Sylvia: Today at 7 am, Gabe poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.

Caligo: I watched Gabe brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm.

Elowyn: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

~

Elowyn: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Gabe, Sylvia, & Aestus: Okay.

Elowyn: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Gabe: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Sylvia: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Aestus: Bold of you to assume I can die.

~

Gabe: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this.

Elowyn: What did you do Gabe?

Gabe: a Mistake.

~

Caligo: We’ve found the person who stole your identity and was impersonating you.

Gabe: Where were they?

Caligo: Eating cheetos and crying in their car.

Gabe, impessed: Damn, they really went for it.

~

Computer: Please enter a password.

Aestus: *types in Caligo*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Aestus: How fucking DARE YOU-

~

Caligo: *shoves their hand in the slot of a toaster*

Gabe: …

Caligo: …I get confused sometimes.

Gabe: Me too.

~

Aestus: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Gabe: No, that's not how you make cookies.

Sylvia: FLOOR IT!!

Aestus: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?

Gabe: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-

Aestus: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

Elowyn: DO IT!

Gabe: NO-

~

Gabe: The Ocean is a soup.

Elowyn:

Elowyn: Do elaborate.

Gabe: What are needed for something to be a soup?

Elowyn: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.

Gabe: *Tilts head*

Elowyn: The Ocean is a Soup.

Gabe: The Ocean is a Soup.

~

Gabe: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!

Elowyn: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

~

Elowyn: HELP! I TOLD SYLVIA I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Gabe, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

~

Aestus: *pitches an idea*

Sylvia, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!

Caligo, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

~

Aestus: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

Sylvia: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Caligo, go find out if that thing can catch fire!

Aestus: You're a bad influence.Sylvia: And you don't know your sayings.

[borathae]

Chapter 27

oof i feel like a kid getting into living room while dad is having a meeting

It was all the reassurance he needed to know that Yoongi still liked him. fuck kook is so cute but thats sad too

t feels scary to stand in this hall with dozens and dozens of Rippers and Gluttons staring at you as if you were their greatest downfall STOP she is going to be a witch ok?? she is cool

Some of his fellow Rippers and Gluttons snicker upon seeing their almighty Creator so flustered by a human. xd

you stop talking when you hear just how silent the room became. thats more than enough for my voice to go shaky and crackly, and start doing spoonerism

It is beyond hilarious to them to see their grumpy Creator lose 3000 year old loses to a mere mortal ofc its funny

“no offence, you guys are chill. They’re for Namjoon.” she is soo cute fuck, im sure the old people find her cute too, "oh young kids pssh"

“You’ll regret this”, you press out. for real

“Of course you don’t, not at all.” “Shut up.” ofc yoognles

“I want to play too”, Jungkook exclaims and looks at Yoongi, “can I play?” FUCK HE IS SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA SET THE WOLRD ON FIRE AAAAAAAHA

“No”, he says, “I don’t have time for silly board games.” ofc millennias old grandpa wont like board games 😒🙄

“I grew hungry all of a sudden" wut 👀 “Stay away from her." KOOK I LOVE U “I will go hunting of course.” oh scared me for a second haha

“Oh”, Seokjin laughs in relief, “that sounds logical yeah.” MOOD

You have studied him and watched his every move and habits. He never takes his keys with him when he is hunting in fear that he might lose them. DAMN LOVE FUCK UR HOT WOOO but they are vampires, they dont need soo much sleep and is quiet, be more careful

FUCK BUSTED KNEW IT, WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE

“Biggest lie ever! You are constantly doing something stupid” STOP 😭😭violence 💀

“Ha! You’re so easy to mess with!” SHE IS SO ANNOYING I- I LOVE HER MARRY ME

oh we going on a tresure hunt mission

human shaped shadow startles you like crazy. WTF MY HEART JUST JUMPED OUT OF THE BODY STOP only for it to be coat hanger

Cold and dark corridors, always broody and never smiling. He is such a stereotype. XD exposed lol

“I’m literally going to die of a heart attack here”, you murmur. would be the funniest death tho, heart attack while searching for keys 😭😭

Yoongi all dressed up in a tophat and a fancy suit. A daguerreotype, THIS IS TOO FUNNY HAHA now you feel awful for laughing. Yoongi clearly meant to send this to someone special. fuck sorry

his room is so unlike him?? or do we not know him enough yet??

why doesnt he like to look at himself? thats worrying FUCK I HATE HIM AND I LOVE HIM GREAT AAAAH

AH WTF WHY IS HE HERE THIS FAST WTF KJLASDNGYLEW DOES HE REALLY WANT TO KILL HER AND ME ???

OMG WHAT DID HE DO AAH I CANT IM STRESSED FUCK

ok now can we let tae out or at least visit him???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIN

preferably you hope he pisses off altogether. To the other side of the world. mood

“Hobi seriously, if this is another one of your sad stories only for it to then end in you getting edged during a blowjob I’m gonna scream” 😭😭 did he bore her with his story already wow

An hour later I am speeding down a mountain at three hundred miles per hour whilst screeching like an idiot.” yeah i can hear his screams perfectly (run bts, thank you)

My lower spine was shattered, my legs dead and Annelise had to carry me down the mountain like a sack of potatoes before my spine finally healed again.” wow HEKC YEAH I WANNA BE A VAMPIRE HOBI TURN ME AND YOONGI TRAIN ME THEN I CAN DO RECKLESS SHIT

“It looks like a shrivelled up ballsack.” STOP LET HER COOK

FUCK OFF KOOK DONT TALK TO ME OR MY SON OR MY SONS SON OR MY SONS SONS SON

“I thought that he is like me.A, a Ripper or a Glutton a-and I wanted to make him feel how it feels like to lose control.” yeah cuz thats not torture at all

kook ur cute but thats it go away stop tempting me u evil potato FUCK I CANT EVEN CURSE AT U NOODLE no NOODLE IS GOOD UM FUCK U GARLIC YEAH THAT WORKS

do you want hot choco?” FUCK OFF STOP SEDUCING ME WITH THAT U ONION

“Oh my god”, you exclaim, giving him a quick glance, “read the room, will you?” i feel soo bad for him BUT NO I SHANT FALL FOR HIS TRICKS, HEAR THAT YOU BITTER GOURD??

CUZ SHE IS TIRED OF GIVING FUCKS SHES OUT OF FUCKS CUZ I AM FUCK A TAE FUCK A KOOK FUCK A YOONGLES BYE IM GOING TO ANGRILY STOMP AROUND THE ROOM 3 TIMES AND GO BACK TO SIMPING (u didnt hear that u tomato)

It was all the reassurance he needed to know that Yoongi still liked him. fuck kook is so cute but thats sad too

i'm actually very sad :( he just wants people to like him :(

t feels scary to stand in this hall with dozens and dozens of Rippers and Gluttons staring at you as if you were their greatest downfall STOP she is going to be a witch ok?? she is cool

interesting theory about her being a witch I LOVE WHEN you guys just have theories 👀

It is beyond hilarious to them to see their grumpy Creator lose 3000 year old loses to a mere mortal ofc its funny

like he's just secretly a big softie confirmed

“no offence, you guys are chill. They’re for Namjoon.” she is soo cute fuck, im sure the old people find her cute too, "oh young kids pssh

SHE IS THE CUTEST!!! i love her so much

“I want to play too”, Jungkook exclaims and looks at Yoongi, “can I play?” FUCK HE IS SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA SET THE WOLRD ON FIRE AAAAAAAHA

ME TOO gaaaah *bites him*

“No”, he says, “I don’t have time for silly board games.” ofc millennias old grandpa wont like board games 😒🙄

he is so BAD at pretending ahhhaha

“Biggest lie ever! You are constantly doing something stupid” STOP 😭😭violence 💀

BUT DID HE LIE????

human shaped shadow startles you like crazy. WTF MY HEART JUST JUMPED OUT OF THE BODY STOP only for it to be coat hanger

lmaoaooa

Yoongi all dressed up in a tophat and a fancy suit. A daguerreotype, THIS IS TOO FUNNY HAHA now you feel awful for laughing. Yoongi clearly meant to send this to someone special. fuck sorry

HAHAHHHAHAHHA this is the best reactionhahahahah

his room is so unlike him?? or do we not know him enough yet??

mhhhhhhhhhm

why doesnt he like to look at himself? thats worrying FUCK I HATE HIM AND I LOVE HIM GREAT AAAAH

No but this is actually so sad :(

AH WTF WHY IS HE HERE THIS FAST WTF KJLASDNGYLEW DOES HE REALLY WANT TO KILL HER AND ME ???

lmoaoa the fact that she is ALWAYS busted when she does stupid shit fajdsjf

My lower spine was shattered, my legs dead and Annelise had to carry me down the mountain like a sack of potatoes before my spine finally healed again.” wow HEKC YEAH I WANNA BE A VAMPIRE HOBI TURN ME AND YOONGI TRAIN ME THEN I CAN DO RECKLESS SHIT

no but me for real. I'd probably end up hurting myself once and then never doing it again cause I can't handle the pain lmaoaoa

“It looks like a shrivelled up ballsack.” STOP LET HER COOK

lmaoaoaoo

do you want hot choco?” FUCK OFF STOP SEDUCING ME WITH THAT U ONION

bahahhaha "onion" jfasdjf I have to remember this for a fluffy oneshot

[localgardenweed]

Looking off into the sunset feeling my soul shatter as I think of my Hetalia KND AU

I think Sector G8/G9 (i cant decide) constantly bicker for some sort of control (Minus Feliciano he is fine just being there hes there for the fun) while the rest are trying to get to leader position for one reason or another. Arthur is FIGHTING to keep that Team Leader role

My idea with Alfred and Matt are that they’re like fightor pilots together, their gag is Alfred cant do shit and always fucks up but Matt always comes in to save the day while Alfred takes all the credit and Matt just has to suck it up and hold back his rage, everyone always forgets he’s there since he’s so quiet but occasionally they’ll notice him when they ran out of maple syrup for pancake day and he sighs and goes down the block to his place to grab a bottle cause his family gets the good shit and he just has to sit there and feel ignored the rest of the time untill they want timbits ot smth hand has to do it all over again. I wanna say they’re half brothers like same dad different moms too, explains why they dont live together and why one kid is violently American and the other Canadian. Or maybe twins and parents got divorced when they were like super young and got remarried and one lived in America and the other Canada. We may never know. Matts older though in both scenarios.

Kiku and Alfred always haul in videogame consoles, they frequently play Super Smash Bros together and like shit gets INTENSE IN THAT TREEHOUSE THERE WILL BE BLOOD, Alfred always loses and he never knows why but secretly Kiku always gives him the bad controller. He is secretly ruthless when it comes to shit like this. Kiku also likes training cadets at Arctic Base from time to time, he can be a little scary. On the flip side he likes to help Feliciano with his homework alongside Ludwig as they try to explain to him how to do long division as Feli just watches and spaces out again. They gave up and thought teaching him to cheat would be easier but no it was just as hard. Kiku likes to bring in ramune sodas and so many poppin cookings like i think its all the kids eat half the time HE ALWAYS BRINGS MORE THEY NEVER SEEM TO RUN OUT. He whips out a waffle one for Alfred for breakfast and watches him lick the cranberry sauce clean off the plastic. He also brings other cool candies cause its kinda one of his only flexes. That and also all the anime he brings, mostly dvd but they’re also only in Japanese so he’s mostly watching them all by himself cause like no one else knows it.

Yao is always off training by himself in his room, beating the shit out of his dummies and having to head down to the shop to buy new ones cause he always ends up wacking their heads and stuffing off. He eats a bunch of candy too to keep his energy up, it is a miracle his teeth haven’t rotted. He likes to go bother Ivan and try to get him to train with him but Ivan just sits in the corner playing with his toy trucks reenacting car crashes and stuff and Yao just says “….lol weirdo, im bringing over leftovers tomorrow for our dinner here at the tree house, do you want those little candies my grandma brought from home?” “Yes please” as he whisper screams acting as the drivers who got into the crash and die. Yao also is also the most athletic of the group, very flexible too.

As you can see Ivan is a little fucked up but he’s kinda just a loner. He feel he doesn’t fit in and Yao kinda hangs out with him but him and Alfred are surely a interesting duo. Arthur makes him work with Alfred sometimes on missions and they kinda cant stand each other but are they ever gonna say that? No. But he also weirdly likes Alfred like “wow he’s so cool…how does he have it so easy?” Thinking he’s the absolute shit when in reality the rest of the sector kinda cant stand him. He mostly just keeps to himself and does what he’s told, but ofc is absolutely fucking terrifying when provoked. But also kinda a little whiney bitch when he gets comfortable.

Francis and Arthur switch on and off to adult busting besties to “I HATE YOU EVEN MORE WHATEVA MAJOR LOSER” with the hand signals and everything. They train alot together and use their angry time as good training time. They fence and sword fight together and also tend to alot of chores around the treehouse. They weirdly respect eachother but also want to see eachother dead. Francis has a pony he keeps in its own stable in the treehouse, he pampers the shit outta it too. He takes it for walks around town and puts it in competitions and DOMINATES competition

Arthur has a whole ass battle ship. He begged Ludwig (2x4 Tech Officer) to build him one and they spent a couple months on it alone to make it perfect (aka Arthur kept adding shit to his list of wants and he went crazy trying to fit it all) but it got done eventually. He breaks for tea time and it’s RELIGIOUS he does not skip a beat to rush over for tea time. He really is a little British boy. I like to think though he does it so no one tries to steal his scones cause he goes out to buy the good ones. Everyone stopped stealing though when he started making copycat scones and they obviously sucked but he didn’t know that he thought his security measures were just so good!! (He put a single trip wire to make you fall forward. Thats it thats the trap) He also gets all his cool outfits commissioned by Taiwan (I dont have a human name for yet </3) who works at global command and makes all the super cool outfits for everyone. He has multiple jackets and like some of these outfits are OUT THERE he pays alot of candy for these things like some got whole ass gems and Egyptian cotton like okaaayyy

No one knows why Feliciano is still here, he doesn’t do shit and super dumb but like he brings good leftovers from his place so ig he can stay. He was a boy scout with Ludwig till he was like “Lets join KND” and he just said “Ok!”. He helps Ludwig the best he can by mostly just handing him shit but he makes himself useful somehow.

Ludwig is a absolute nerd, and also kinda a suck up like its actually so weird to think he’s in the KND cause he seems like super like “we must respect adults at all times!!” But no he has a fire in him, he cant stand them, he puts up with them but he cant stand em really. They did smth he can never forgive…anyway he’s always making new 2x4 tech for his sector and goes to alot of conventions. He’s kinda just a nerd like i said but he does et loose. He loves to play with trains and cars, has a whole model train set he made himself and also kinda a minecraft gamer. Ok so my timeline js weird cause idk if im making this in early 2000’s like the og show or in the modern day but ehhhhh whatever. Anyway when Kiku and Alfred are done playing Smash Bros and throwing hands he plops down to load up Minecraft, he loves to do redstone and also just play survival and ya know, tough it out. He plays with Feliciano but he sucks but he still lets him play. He actually plays alot with Francis but he likes more PVP and exploring than mining and building like Ludwig. Alfred also gets in on it but likes to troll so they usually kick him iut after he drops lava on Ludwigs cow pen.

Will i talk more about them? Yes ofc duh. Tune in next time for my awesome video essay on why this is my best au yet /j