#i was so devastated i had to pause SEVERAL times to take it in and that’s with harding’s death hitting me on top of this

[jojea]

i am so serious when i say that thinking about varric tethras for even a moment turns me into a crying mess every single time

[blue-devil-of-the-lord]

How do you feel about writing more Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler? After watching X Men 97, I forgot how charismatic this elf man can be. If possible, I need an introverted reader with barely any social skills who starts to malfunction whenever a certain blue is around. When confronted, reader is basically 'you're too pretty' and almost dies of embarrassment.

Social System Error

Kurt Wagner x reader Words: 1.9K A/N: I changed it a little bit to fit the scenario, but I hope it's still up to your expectations :)

You wished that the ground would swallow you up. Who knows, maybe you would find a mutant who could grant you that wish, as long as you looked hard enough. Clasping your hands to your face, you felt your cheeks grow hot and slid down the door of the room before sitting on the floor.

Why couldn't you be normal for once? Talk to him normally for once, make small talk and say goodbye elegantly? But you weren't allowed to do that. Instead, you had to run into the next door just because Kurt waved at you and gave you one of his most charming laughs. Instead, you spilled your coffee all over the table just because he entered the room. I

nstead, you couldn't get a word out when he came your way, you just turned around on the spot. It was horrible.

The fact that you had developed a crush on the blue mutant was really no secret and the fact that he hadn't noticed was a real miracle. Or maybe he had found out and just decided not to do anything. You didn't know which option was worse.

So far, you had really done your best to avoid him as much as possible so that he wouldn't think of talking to you, but you could always at least catch a glimpse of the blue mutant out of the corner of your eye. You just couldn't help it, Kurt was wonderful. He was funny, charming, polite, intelligent and incredibly attractive. One look at his face with a beaming smile was enough to make your legs go weak.

And today you had really blown it.

Rogue had finally managed to convince her brother to stay at the school and he had decided to teach some of the classes. You were both thrilled and devastated at the prospect of seeing this wonderful man every day, and probably embarrassing yourself every day after you'd already ogled him more than once.

However, when you had entered the staff room at lunchtime and seen Kurt sitting next to Ro on the sofa in his shirt, suit trousers and loose tie, you had immediately stormed out of the room with a bright red face and gone to the staff bathroom, where no one had been at the time. In hindsight, you really should have locked that door.

You energetically threw another handful of cold water onto your face and rubbed your cheeks several times to be on the safe side, hoping to drive out the redness. "Oh God, oh God, oh God," you mumbled and leaned against the edge of the sink, head bent forward. "How am I supposed to survive this. God, I bet Rogue recommended these clothes to him. Lord help me."

Nervously, you began to pace up and down, ruffling your hair. "Why does he have to look so good? Can't he be ... normal attractive? Not inhumanly, divinely attractive?" You'd embarrass yourself, really embarrass yourself, and he'd never talk to you again. Or worse, think you're pathetic and talk to you out of pity.

You came to a halt in front of the mirror again and looked at your reflection. "No, no." You couldn't bear the thought. "Okay." You exhaled and leaned against the edge of the sink again. "It can't be that difficult. Just be normal. Or whatever," you mumbled. "Just be cool. Kurt's just another teacher, he probably doesn't even know you exist. You just go up to him and start a conversation, that's all."

You exhaled. "You can do this, take it easy." You looked up, meeting your gaze in the mirror, and put on your most believable smile. "'Hi Kurt, how ya doing?' No, no, that's too casual." You paused for a moment and thought. "'Good afternoon, Mr. Wagner, how are you today?' Oh God, far too formal."

You wipe your face in frustration. "Come on, it's just a conversation, nothing more. You can talk to students all day. What's the difference? Apart from the fact that Kurt is a lot more attractive and wonderful and that you have a crush?" You gave a somewhat exasperated and forced laugh. "Nothing more than that. Gambit would laugh at you if he saw you like that." Your fingers drummed on the porcelain of the basin.

"'Hi Kurt, I just wanted to take a minute to say that I really admire you and think you're wonderful and funny and...um I've seen you around here quite a bit and..." Groaning, you threw your hands up in the air. "God, I sound like a crazy person! Or a stalker! Or both! This is way too much too soon. Just... keep it casual. 'Hey, you're Kurt, aren't you? I'm glad you've decided to stay with us'."

You nod and run your fingers through your hair again. "That works, doesn't it? It's not too casual but not too formal and I don't sound like a crazy stalker who's way too obsessed with a stranger. Okay, good, you can do it. Just relax and stay cool. Who knows, maybe he won't even notice you and you won't have to talk-“ As you turn around mid-motion, you freeze in place, your heart skipping a beat. "-with him," you added meekly, your eyes widening in panic as you realize who’s been silently listening to your pep talk. Across from you, leaning against one of the toilet stalls, is Kurt, his arms crossed in front of his chest and an amused smile playing on his lips. His tail whips lightly through the air, as he slowly releases his arms from their twist.

You had to admit that your next move wasn't particularly brave. All the self-confidence you had been trying to build up over the last five minutes had disappeared and you did what was the only logical thing to do: you dashed past Kurt out of the bathroom, sprinting down the corridor, feeling incredibly grateful that you didn't have any more lessons today, meaning that you could hide in your room in the hope that you would never have to face him again.

Just the thought of it made your face flush with shame and you threw yourself onto your bed to release frustrated screams into your pillow. You weren't quite sure how long you'd been lying there, but a knock on your door brought you out of your racing thoughts. You didn't really feel the need to talk right now, but you heaved yourself out of bed anyway when there was a second knock.

You were pretty sure you must look horrible, clothes and hair out of place from the bed, but usually only Gambit or Jean came by and both had seen you in some worse circumstances. Sighing, you opened the door. "Listen, I'm not-" You broke off mid-sentence, looking up wide-eyed at the person in front of you, who was definitely not Gambit or Jean.

"Hello, am I interrupting?" Kurt looked down at you, his lips curled into a sweet smile and your heart instantly beat in your throat as the heat rose in your cheeks. You could only shake your head, causing Kurt to smile even wider. "Wonderful." He stepped slightly towards you, leaning against your doorframe, and you were pretty sure you were going to explode instantly.

"Can I...I help you?" Your voice was barely audible and shaky and you tried your best to avoid eye contact, but it was so incredibly difficult. Kurt's eyes were bright and shining and so attractive that she found it hard to look anywhere else.

"Indeed yes." His smile became more mischievous and you were pretty sure your legs wouldn't be able to hold you up for much longer, they were so weak. "I saw you storming out of the staffroom earlier and I was worried. What if you're ill? Or something is wrong? So I thought I should follow you to make sure you were okay."

It was pure torture. You wanted to sink into the ground, get struck by lightning, anything just to avoid having to have this conversation. Kurt, however, seemed quite determined to do so.

"But when I got to the bathroom, something was revealed to me that I could never have guessed." Ashamed, you turned away, your hands over your face. "I'm so incredibly sorry Kurt, I really am... I'm so unbelievably embarrassed right now. Please, forget I said that."

He raised an eyebrow and looked slightly amused. "You called me wonderful and funny. That's a little hard to forget." You groaned. "God, kill me."

"Ah, ah, ah, let's not start with that," he admonished, raising a finger. His smile softened and he gently stroked a finger over your hand, which was still covering your face. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. There's nothing wrong with it. Even if I don't quite understand why." At that moment, you decided that it couldn't get much worse and that if you were going to be embarrassed, you could at least get it all out at once. That way you would have limited the most embarrassing moment of your life to a few hours and not a period of weeks or months.

"Because I like you and you're incredibly attractive and perfect, but I'm not brave enough to tell you that and so I become a walking mess around you every time and I'm only telling you this so I can get it over with and you only have to reject me once and not twice."

You had spoken quickly and quietly and were pretty sure he wouldn't have been able to understand you, however he seemed to do so as he stepped towards you and slowly stroked your cheek again, this time more tenderly and with a sugary sweet smile on his face.

"Actually, that hadn't quite been the plan, my dear," he murmurs, a gentle lilt to his voice. His tail emerges from behind him, swaying lightly as if adding to the suspense. With widening eyes, you realize he's holding a bouquet of flowers wrapped with it.

Perplexed yet touched by his gesture, you accept the bouquet, feeling the soft petals under your fingertips. His smile broadens, his eyes twinkling with anticipation. "Can I take you out to dinner? Tonight?"

Your eyes widened, cheeks burning with a mix of surprise and excitement. "What?" you stammered, caught off guard by his unexpected invitation. He chuckled lightly, tapping your chin, which had dropped in astonishment.

"I'm asking you out," he repeated with a playful grin. You were at a loss for words, your mind racing as you tried to process the whirlwind of emotions flooding through you. When you finally managed to utter a "yes," your voice came out as no more than a soft squeak, barely audible over the pounding of your heart.

Kurt smiled contentedly, took your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand. "Tomorrow night, eight o'clock. I'll pick you up." With a wink and a slight bounce in his step, he disappeared down the hall, leaving you standing there, bouquet in hand, still trying to comprehend what had just happened.

As the realization sunk in, you hurriedly set the bouquet down on your table and dashed down the corridor to Gambit's room.

You had a date with Kurt Wagner, and the sudden rush of excitement left you with one pressing question: What on earth were you going to wear?

Part 2 (in work)

[saphronethaleph]

The Bibliophile Gambit

“A Sith Lord?” Mace asked. “Really?”

“He said he was,” Anakin confirmed. “I… don’t know what to think, Master Windu. He’s been my friend for so long, and now…”

“I understand,” Mace told him. “You’re questioning everything he’s ever told you, because he’s been lying about that for the whole time you’ve known him – you’re asking how much he’s responsible for.”

“Yeah,” Anakin agreed, then paused. “And… I’m… I’m not sure why he revealed himself to me. He said he wanted me to use his knowledge, to – well, to do something that I want to do.”

He leaned against the wall. “I wish Obi-Wan was here. He usually helps things make sense.”

After a moment, he looked up at Mace. “...what are we going to do now?”

“Stop him, probably,” Mace replied. “I’ll take several other Jedi and arrest him.”

“Arrest him?” Anakin repeated, still trying to process. “Are you sure?”

“No,” Mace admitted. “My first instinct is to kill him, as soon as possible, so he can’t use his Force powers to do… something. Something dangerous.”

He rubbed his temples. “We’re right near the end of the war, we think. Obi-Wan destroying General Grievous is devastating to the Confederacy’s war effort. So why is he revealing himself now?”

Then Mace glanced up at Anakin. “Do you have any ideas?”

“No,” Anakin admitted. “I… guess it might be something political?”

“Political,” Mace repeated. “Political… perhaps that’s it. If we’re getting right to the end of the war, and he is a Sith, then… the war has let him accumulate all kinds of power to himself. We were going to make sure he surrendered the emergency powers, but-”

He cut himself off. “This is bad news.”

“I know,” Anakin said. “I know! And – I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what we should do. We need to stop him, right?”

“We need to stop him,” Mace agreed. “But we need to be as certain as possible of success. We cannot fail – if we attempt to kill him, and we fail, then Palpatine will have the justification he needs to keep his emergency powers.”

“Why would you need to kill him?” Anakin asked.

“If this is his plan, he will not come quietly,” Mace replied. “He will not submit to arrest.”

He frowned. “I need to think.”

“We need to hurry, don’t we?” Anakin said. “And – are you sure he won’t be arrested?”

“Anakin, if he’s told you, then it’s for one of two reasons,” Mace replied. “Either he expects you to turn to the Dark Side and help him out, or he expects the Jedi to come for him. There’s no way that being arrested would help him out, not that I can see – and if he does agree to be arrested, then that just means he has a plan for that situation as well.”

Anakin clenched his fist. “Then what do we do?” he asked. “This is – it sounds like he’s planned for everything!”

“Maybe he has,” Mace replied. “Or – maybe not.”

Palpatine looked up. “Master Windu,” he said. “And… Masters Kolar, Fisto, and Tiin. I take it General Grievous has been destroyed then.”

He looked thoughtful. “I must say, you’re here sooner than expected.”

Mace Windu stepped forwards a pace, his expression glassy calm. “In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, you are under arrest, Chancellor.”

“Are you threatening me, Master Jedi?” Palpatine asked, eyeing the lightsabers all four Jedi had ready – not ignited, not yet, but held in preparation to do so.

“I am not,” Mace replied, evenly. “You have been credibly accused of being a Sith Lord, specifically by the name of Darth Sidious. You have also been credibly accused of the murder of Darth Plagueis.”

That was enough to make Palpatine look confused.

“...what?” he asked. “Why do you care about Plagueis?”

“You murdered him, did you not?” Mace replied. “Chancellor, if you submit to arrest and to the judgement of the Senate, then this can be resolved peacefully.”

“I am the Senate,” Palpatine grated out.

“Not yet,” Windu denied.

“I don’t think there’s enough of you,” Agen Kolar murmured.

Palpatine stood, flicking his wrist, and a lightsaber appeared in it.

“It’s treason, then,” he said, igniting it, then a spike of blue light smashed though the glass and took his head off.

“...all right, I understand up to that part,” Padme admitted, less than a minute later.

She looked at the hologram of Anakin, in the council chamber, as the footage from the holorecorder Saesee Tiin had been carrying faded away. “The Jedi Masters summoned Palpatine to surrender, and he drew a lightsaber. But what was that?”

“It was Master Fisto’s idea,” Anakin said.

He’d been relaying the imagery to Padme for her input, since she was the only politician he trusted at this point, and he shook his head. “Master Windu asked the others what was something that a Sith would never expect the Jedi to do, and Master Fisto pointed out that something that would qualify was – sniper overwatch.”

He shuddered. “Also, I’m never returning any holobooks late again… so, uh, what do you think the Senate is going to think of this?”

“Well,” Padme began, then stopped and frowned. “With that kind of evidence, I think – it’s going to be very hard for anyone to be a public supporter of Palpatine in the Senate, now. He literally proved their accusations when he drew that lightsaber.”

She frowned. “And I’m not sure why he exploded, either…”

“That’s because of the Dark Side,” Master Windu contributed. “The Dark Side is self-destructive, that’s one of the dangers of the Seventh Form… admittedly it’s not usually quite that literal.”

[vminity21]

Goodbye to Hello | jjk

Pairing: badboy!jeongguk x female!reader

Word Count: 25,102

Genre: fluff, lots of smut oops, mega-angst, strangers to lovers!au, fuckboy/fuckgirl!au

Warning(s): profanity, infidelity, mega-angst (im sorry), mention of alcohol, smoking, smut, unprotected sex, oral (m + f receiving), slight m!dom, nipple play, hand job, dirty talk, ice play, ass grabbing, mention of a sex toy, squirting, hobi is a bad boy in this too, multiple orgasms, smutty kissing, reader may or may not have accidentally become a fuckgirl in this story sorry not sorry; Rated: 18+

Credit to: @yoonoclock for making such an incredible cover for this story that has taken me two long years to write. It’s finally where I need it to be and thank you so much Monnie for using your talent to create a banner that truly embodies the story.

Taglist: thank you so much for your patience with me! @ggukkieland @thisartemisnevermisses @moonchild1 @familiarlikemymirror3 @gukniverse​

Summary: After a devastating break up, you immediately move in with your sister, leaving behind the country life to relearn the ups and downs of the city. Adopting a cat and gaining a new job at a retail store part time, life seems to gradually bring happiness and healing, but you did not expect for it to become even more interesting when you stumble upon the enticing yet alluring tattoo artist, Jeon Jeongguk. Will this be an adventure of a lifetime? Or will hello always lead to goodbye?

Golden specks twinkle sporadically like fairy dust creating a shimmering tint to the air that collects the attention of any individual trailing the pavement. Pollen. The groovy excitement of a stuffy nose and mildly itchy eyes sounds stellar compared to how you could be feeling. Sniffling roughly, you squeeze your eyes shut momentarily to relieve what little of the itch that you can and trotting up the steps to your realm of refuge, you can hardly stand the excitement of bundling into the arms of your boyfriend, Jung Hoseok, and relaying how lovely it is to wipe your nose every five minutes. Maybe even ask if you can borrow the sleeve of his sweatshirt as a tissue. Pause. Maybe not.

Entering the rental home, you hadn’t noticed how eerily quiet it seemed, not right away; especially when you are so used to hearing the raging shots of a video game mingled with the yelling profanity between Hoseok and his best friend Kim Namjoon who bicker over headsets about wins that neither of them were really close to. But, let the males believe, they indeed, almost triumphed. Settling your handbag onto the dining table, you tilt your head in confusion. Is Hobi sick today? Where is he?

The floors creak beneath your tennis shoes while you observe the kitchen. That’s funny. The dishes are cleaned and put away, and not one stray of lint is seen upon the countertop- Hoseok has always been clean as well as you, but he never went over the top unless he had company over, and by company you mean his mother. Thoughts drift to the possibility of him wanting to surprise you for whatever the case may be, and your heart flutters at the mere inkling while a smirk graces your lips. How thoughtful, you feel gushy at his consideration of you, and your steps follow the direction of your bedroom.

It is then that your life spirals in a cluster of emotions that you will never forget; sparks dancing in your vision while your chest tightens intensely in response to the sounds you hear echoing beyond the door. No. You want to scream, but your throat constricts, not producing any verbalization no matter how much your brain signals. This can’t be real. Please don’t let this be real. The moans persist. The mystery female is eagerly gasping his name over and over while your heart shudders at the pain severing every vein within your frame. A tear falls panging the floor- your body is so tense, you shiver through the anxiety, and you know deep down that confronting him will hurt even worse than if you were to take the high road and walk away.

Wiping the dampness from your eyes, you spin to compile your things as in your handbag that contains your wallet, car key, and cellphone, and you march outside, slamming the front door behind you to shed some of the anger boiling in your system; you could care less if he heard your grand exit or not for you blocked his number before you settled into your car. You may be able to run from him, but you cannot run from the excruciating pain erupting beneath your chest nor the cycle of questions that refuse to stop spinning because why? After three years together, why would he betray you like this?

The front door flings open. Hoseok runs onto the porch in pure panic, hair disheveled, only in boxers, mouth gaping open as his widened eyes search until they lock with yours. But it’s too late. You are already safe within your car. Even when you notice the slim figure of a woman in one of his t-shirts, you do not move your gaze. You let the stare down with your boyfriend linger enough to rest your case. The second he starts rushing down the porch steps in a way to catch up to you for whatever meaningless apologies- meaningless explanations that will pour from his mouth- is when you reverse onto the road.

Behind the steering wheel with no destination in mind, you come up with the only solution you find reasonable, and you make your way to the city with the intention of starting over, even if it means it destroys you.

-

A queue of ants scurry along the lining of the windowsill where the sun tinges the glass against your knuckles. Shrivel sounds of the granola bar wrapper fills the silence of the kitchen while you gulp the final bite of your snack. Sometimes when your hands feel cold, you leave it to the sun to indulge your skin with warmth before trekking to your room, but instead, the growling of your stomach and the distraction of observing the insects seems to help with the boredom. Dread happens to consume the depths of your chest at the subtle reminder of returning to work in the morning; Sundays always bring the feeling of woe because it is the end of relaxation before continuing the week of being overwhelmed. But you figure adulting is worth it in some ways, and as everyone else, you must work to provide and live.

The chirp of your cat, Kenai, alerts your attention, him pouncing onto the counter to rub his head along your free wrist. “If you’re hungry, just say so,” you coo sarcastically, knowing he is due for his dinner in a few minutes. He will be a year old soon, his yellow eyes squinting as he rubs his head against your palm before arching his back once you run your hand to the end of his tail. Your eyes flit back to the ants darting in search of whatever they need, and inwardly, you are uncertain how your sister, Monnie would feel about the bugs, but you always found them fascinating.

Jumping off the counter, Kenai excitingly follows suit, twirling against your legs as you saunter to the pantry to retrieve his food. You have officially lived with your sister for a year now, and adopting Kenai was one of the best decisions you have ever made besides moving to the city. It is as if you disappeared from the prior life that you once lived and you like it just that way. Kenai temporarily ditches you for his food, and you stroll off to the living room where the scenery of a huge, flat screen television shows your reflection on the empty screen.

Monnie happens to be a successful artist who fell in love with another known artist by the name of Min Yoongi. Together they have won the world with their talent, and you could not have asked for a better couple to be in your life. If there is a true definition of love, it is how Yoongi gazes at your sister- because she is the only woman in the world, he will do anything and everything for. Jokingly, you always tell the pair that you are just going to stick with your cat, but the sadness that etches within Monnie’s eyes reveals that she hopes you will find a good man of your own. She is aware of why you abruptly returned to the place you were birthed, and she is aware that you refuse to speak of it even if it is pent up to the brim of imploding.

When you met your ex, it was in a park of all places. Not high school, not college, not through a family member or a friend: a park. It was a romantic way to begin even though you will never admit it now, but it started so naturally. So simple. You were reading a book while he was creating one. The way you were poised apparently sparked an idea for a story he openly confessed later on in the courtship. He described the scenery around you and how enwrapped in the book you were as something meant to be written for others to discover. How he could imagine a story just from the vision you had no idea you were forming for him.

You fell for him fast. Hard. He was your first everything aside from kissing and as time went by, you agreed to move in with him. You never expected what was going to happen in the future. You never anticipated such excruciating pain from the betrayal, nor did you notice any signs leading up to it. He’s tried contacting you from other phone numbers, but after four months apart, he seemed to have given up. But, because the pain is still so raw, you can’t bear to face him. You will crumple like a piece of paper in his presence if you were to ever see him again. For now, you do all you can to just avoid the situation as much as possible. Besides, he has her now. Whoever she may be.

Alas, what does it matter? It is not like he is able to reach out to you anyways for he is blocked on every and any social media site you can think of, and thankfully your name was not on the lease nor was your name hooked to anything involving your ex, so it will be fine. Or so you tell yourself repeatedly until you lose track of the thought. But that uneasy feeling creeps back up and instead of reaching for the remote, you decide maybe a walk around the city will be better. Monnie isn’t due home until later and you are assuming Yoongi will be tagging along, so why not pass the time by exploring?

Loneliness seeps in the gallows of your heart while you rush through the app for a driver. There is not a specific destination you prefer over another, so you pick a store at random around fifteen minutes away. With the money your sister has, she doesn’t expect you to pay for anything, all she cares about is your happiness though you refuse to not work; for now, you have a part time retail job whilst figuring out a career path that will become your future in the long term.

One thing you will say, is you have not missed driving in the city, hence the reasoning of you summoning a chauffeur. Traffic isn’t your favorite as commonly pronounced by anybody, and with how overwhelming your brain can feel, you prefer to be able to drift into the zone out rather than pay attention. Gripping the strap of your bag, you eagerly watch the road while cars pass by letting the heat of the breeze sweep through your hair. When the signal of your phone alerts you that your driver is close by, you aim your focus in the direction of a slowing vehicle, stunned by the countenance of a sharp jawline and rainbow colors dyed into bleach blonde strands.

The beauty you are about to behold is way out of your comfort zone, nor have you felt this attracted to an individual since your heart was obliterated a year ago. “Hi-hi,” you stutter once you enter the passenger side, the driver nods once with a smirk in tow, his button up snug to his frame, an earring dangling from his right ear.

“I’m Jimin,” he introduces, “Location still the bookstore in the city?”

“Yes please,” you are shocked you sound audible, but you return a timid smile while shoving some loose hair behind your reddening ear. The clean scent of lemon breaches past your nostrils while you try to maintain your composure, “I’m y/n, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” soft music plays in the background, yet the only sense you tune into is the pounding in your temples. Pull yourself together, he is just a guy who drives a car, who will safely take you to the bookstore, no biggie, you will survive, there are more important things to- “So, as a fellow book lover, I must ask, what is your favorite story?”

Oof. Conversation to minimize the awkward way your shoulders tense at the mere thought of looking over at him, you rummage through the possible answers, struggling to gather your words in a timely manner. “Very hard question,” you gulp, “It’s like asking to choose your favorite song or movie. Too many stories to explore,”

“And never a time you will run out of adventure,”

Eyebrows shoot up in response, “Right,” you smile, “Sounds like you love a good adventure,”

“I will neither confirm nor deny,” a soft chuckle escapes past his plump lips while he keeps his gaze ahead on the traffic. “Have you resided here long?” Shifting nervously in your seat, you watch the buildings of the city closely in a way to avoid Jimin’s gaze without obviously melting.

“Only a year, made a split decision to move in with my sister. You?”

Jimin flits his stare for only a moment, “For a long while. My best friend and I are opening a bar not far from the bookstore, you should come sometime. Invite anyone and everyone you want.”

“I love me a good drink,” bravery enters your frame while you briefly scan the smooth skin of Jimin’s face. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Taehyung has a lot of success in his business, and this will be his fourth opening so celebration is a must. He has a lot of sponsors and connections, the main being Kim Seokjin,”

Gasping, you immediately turn to him, “You mean the actor Kim Seokjin? You’re kidding!”

Laughing, Jimin’s smile stretches to show pearly white teeth, “I will allow you to punch me if I am,”

Deep down you try to suppress the memory of your ex-boyfriend who had written a script in preparation to be read for a potential movie, one that would, in hopes, hire Kim Seokjin as the lead. Hoseok is talented in the writing department and had dreams of becoming a successful author, but you gladly dismiss the memory when Jimin pulls to park for you to exit.

“Here,” swiftly he pulls out a business card handing it to you with a friendly grin, “The opening is in a few weeks, will I see you there?”

“One hundred percent,” clutching the card in your hand, you wave before shutting the door, turning to face the bookstore to hide the fact you would prefer to stare at Jimin whose face will haunt you for the time being. For fucks sake, I need to get laid. As you desperately insert the card into your wallet, you pause. Nay! Male specimens suck, they all suck, my mother said the purpose of a male is to produce a child that I clearly am not ready to birth from the womb that is my pretty pink uterus. That bleeds. Monthly. Because I am not housing a fetus I- Ew. Maybe you’d rather be an aunt. Or have an ovariohysterectomy. Maybe your uterus would like to be taken out of the equation in general.

And now I need a coffee…. Shit.

Since when have you been this intimidated by a good-looking man? And when have you found any of your sporadic conscious entertaining? Therefore, you passionately believe in keeping your mouth shut when you’re on a tangent because humiliation is not in your vocabulary. Or… Is it? Also, you hate admitting how long it has been since you have even been kissed, much less caressed lovingly until you fell asleep. Is moving on from heartbreak too much to ask for? The heat of Hoseok’s kisses trailing your neck were enough to make you come undone, but his betrayal outweighs the good times- good times that evidently weren’t enough for him. Huffing in congruent with the squeezing of your shutting eyes, you step along the semi-crowded sidewalk where people mind their business enough to leave you alone. Your hand must have pressed against your stomach for a bit because you can still feel the presence of the touch before you subconsciously removed your palm.

The bookstore is a popular joint in your opinion. It stands four stories high with the fourth floor having a garden center where people can read and smell the perfumes of flowers in peace. Unfortunately, you are not in the best mood for getting lost in the lines of a tale considering you were too busy thinking about your erm, lady possessions, so you tread what you hope will be enough distraction until you feel satisfied enough to go home. It’s funny the curveballs life will throw at you especially when twists and turns decide to expose themselves in the unexpected ways everyone wishes will not happen unless it gleams nothing but happiness. Sadly, for some, the hits of negativity must spark lessons before one reaches the promise land, so when you make a turn into the alley way leading to a popular coffee shop, you do not anticipate the way your life is going to change. Nor do you fathom the string of events that are about to follow when you stumble upon a leathered frame, sucking in a puff of a cigarette while he flicks at his eyebrow shimmering with a piercing, leaning against the wall where he swallows roughly. Undercut freshly done, his nostrils release the smoke in what seems to be slow motion while you halt in place.

Holy shit.

Tattoos ornament the entirety of his knuckles and wrist alluding to the beginning of a sleeve that’s covered by the thick material of his jacket. For all you know, he may not be one to approach, yet the tug of your heart is so strong, you try with all your might to make the executive decision to return to the bookstore, but alas, it is too late. Brown irises glance to your frozen figure right when he takes another drag of the cigarette, lifting an eyebrow in evident interest while your jaw drops unintentionally. “I’m-I’m sorry,” you bow in tiny, “I didn’t see you there.” Cringing, you know damn well that you saw him, and he sees right through your little white lie.

“You’re fine,” he replies, studying your expression, tossing the cigarette to the ground to muffle it, “Not the best place for me to smoke, but it’s the least populated area,”

At a loss for words, you nod in response, the guy barely pushing off the wall to stand straighter, the smell of the cigarette lingering. “Well, I guess I���ll be going.” You say under your breath, walking with a mission toward the coffee shop to catch your breath. How in the world can somebody be that attractive? First Jimin, now this guy? Why hadn’t you moved to the city earlier? Uterus, it is not time to ovulate! It is not the time! The ding of the bell alerts your arrival to the staff, and you contemplate your order deciding to try a new flavor of coffee. Surprisingly, it is not nearly as busy as it typically is, so once you retrieve your order and pay, you search for a secluded table to descend into for some form of solitude. And, to recover from the interaction with the guy from the alley. You have never smoked a day in your life, but he made it seem so tempting, which in your case is nowhere near normal, so you shake the strange attraction from your mind as best as you can.

Sipping the hot liquid frequently, your sister has always teased that you delight in drinking coffee in the evenings, but it is your comfort go to especially when you need something to do, or to feel relaxed. The bell of the door echoes prompting the immediate noticing of whoever the customer is that entered. Swallowing abruptly, your heart leaps at the sight of the guy you literally saw fifteen minutes ago in the alley. A creeping blush spreads along your chest soon touching your cheeks to the point you wish you could hide. In a way, you attempt, sinking a smidge in your seat wondering if that will prevent him from noticing your presence.

Nice try.

Between the minimal number of customers and the efficiency of the employees, a tattooed hand linked to a coffee cup slides into the seat across from you, tilting his head curiously when you toss your sight to bask in the glory of his profound attraction. You are in so much trouble. “Hi, again,” you murmur, crossing your arms over your chest to hide the quivering of your cold fingers, and to tame the flipping of your ovaries. “Did I scare you enough to make you confront me?”

Smirking a breathy laugh, he takes a swig of his coffee, “I’m not scared of anything.”

“If not fear, what brings you to my table?”

Wetting his bottom lip, you are proud of your feigned courage, but you genuinely are shocked by his sudden presence. Did you leave an inadvertent impression? Quirking an eyebrow, a small smile remains on his lips, “A confession.”

“If it’s sweet talk, I’ll pass.”

Leaning forward to perch his elbows on the table, he folds his hands showing the tattoos you inwardly reveled in earlier, his head poises to the side while he presses his knuckles to his chin casually. “Bold of you to assume I was here to compliment you.”

“Ouch.” You deadpan. “But then again, my mother’s compliments are all that matter to me. Anything you say is irrelevant.”

“Oh,” gradually laying his intertwined fingers onto the table, he challenges with a stare that can make any human being melt into the wooden floor. Fuck. “Then I guess telling you that your shirt is inside out isn’t going to change anything.”

Gasping, your palms fly to your chest where you instantaneously look to see the lines of your t-shirt that clearly expose the fact that you indeed left the house with your shirt on wrong. It is not as embarrassing as one may think, but you were unaware of the food stain dazzling along the side of your boob. Which in this case, makes you blush harder knowing that his eyes may be lingering in an area where no man is welcome currently. But why do you lowkey indulge in the idea of him taking a moment to sweep you up and down? Get a fucking grip, y/n.

“Well,” you sporadically move to position yourself in the seat where the point out will no longer be as obvious, “I appreciate how observant you are, but at least it’s not the worst thing to discover. In public.”

Chuckling under his breath, he shrugs, “I agree. Just figured I’d inform you, otherwise, my intentions are pure.”

Scoffing, you cross your arms again, remaining comfortable in your chair, “That’s not suspicious at all.”

“If I wanted anything, I would have asked already.” He murmurs, “And I always get what I want.”

“Fearless and greedy,” you are vastly grateful that the uterus doesn’t make noises when it’s craving to house an infant, especially with a man as ballsy and gorgeous as the one before you. And why the hell are you even thinking of children at a time like this? Any other male specimen would have made this conversation creepy, but this guy is so alluring that it doesn’t seem to bother you in the least. “What’s your name, Cigs?”

He chokes mid-sip, “That’s a new one.”

“What’s the norm?”

“Do you really wanna know?”

“Not if it’s sexual.”

“Oooo, then I’ll never tell.”

“Pure, my ass.”

“I never said I was pure, milady, I said my intentions with you were pure.”

Eyeing him questionably, you stifle a jeer, “Not sure if that’s an insult, but I’ll take it.”

Smiling enough to where a glimpse of his teeth is seen, he reaches a hand forward, “I’m Jeongguk.”

“I’m y/n.” Kindly, you take his hand returning the greeting with a grin.

“And I find you extremely striking. I mean that with all sincerity.” Gently, he presses a warm kiss to the back of your knuckles before releasing your clammy hand. “Now go fix your shirt before my OCD destroys me.”

Groaning, your mind wants to focus on the sensation from his lips on your skin, but instead, in mild humiliation, you shake your head kiddingly while you mosey to the restroom. Remembering to bring your purse, you hadn’t realized you left your phone behind on the table next to your drink. Returning, you’re shocked to see that he’s left; your phone and coffee appear untouched, yet you feel the sting of disappointment for you enjoyed the bickering even though some may find it strange. It has been a while since you have been in proximity with a man of such nature, especially one whose features leave an imprint on every crevice of your brain.

The ride home holds nothing but thoughts of the lad who mysteriously approached you at your favorite coffee spot, mostly questions of wonderment of who he is. Jeongguk, sure, but what is his story? Shoving the thought past your mind, you enter your room once you arrive home and feed your cat, slipping into your pajamas and collapsing onto your bed releasing a long sigh. Slamming your palms to your face, the keen chirp of Kenai sounds as he pounces onto the bed, rubbing his head against your cheek until you split your fingers to peer at your cat lovingly. “You have already eaten, you brute. Let me simmer in sadness please.”

Eventually you give in, petting him before you find your eyelids heavily craving slumber. It is the next day when you awaken to sunshine pouring through the blinds casting dancing shadows upon your bedspread. Kenai’s fur tickles your cheek where he has cuddled cozily to you, which is the usual with your cat, and gazing fondly at your furry friend, you blindly pat your desk to grasp your phone to sneak a Snapchat. “Don’t you move, KiKi.” Angling the phone, you take a photo, posting to your story to show off how precious your animal is. You were so lucky when you found your cat. After the devastating blow to the chest a year prior, the first thing you did was visit a shelter not far from Monnie’s house in search of the first animal to win your heart.

In all honesty, they all did, but one look at the small fluff puff, pressing his paws against the glass, meowing for you to notice him was all it took. He purred the moment your hands wrapped around his small body, his cold nose sniffing along your face that was stained with tears. He was the little superhero besides your sister that you needed to find some form of healing. Kenai hasn’t left your side, and he refuses to. You never knew a cat could love you so much, even on the nights you wake up with him sprawled across your trachea. His love may be smothering, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Kissing the side of his head, his sleepy eyes remain out the window where birds zip past to distract him. Throwing the covers off you, the number one thing you do is brush your teeth, changing into your work clothes, and tying your hair up out of your vision. Kenai eventually follows you with all the hopes of getting his breakfast which you prepare, and before shuffling into your tennis shoes, you check your phone where your eyes enlarge to the rising beat of your heart.

Jeongguk is typing….

“What the hell?” You mouth. The guy from yesterday added you on Snapchat? How? The only thing you can think is your phone happened to be unlocked unless he was able to open the picture app to scan his Snapchat code. Either way, you are not wanting to admit how pleasantly surprised you are, and when the familiar tone of the Snapchat alerts his official message, you hold yourself back from replying to him too quickly.

It's an exuberantly strange feeling, how giddy one can become all because of a mere message of someone where their interest lies. And the nervous tingles at the bottom of your stomach ignite as you ponder every and any scenario involving the mysterious lad. You have yet to reply, nor do you have any clue what to expect, but you deeply hold nothing but genuine curiosity of how this may play out. Will he be interested in you? Are you ready for someone to be interested in you? That may be the more accurate question. Hoseok hurt you beyond words, but will Jeongguk do the same if you do end up finding him enchanting? What if he doesn’t think you are enough? With all the women in the world, it seems that you can’t hold a guy down enough to seem worth it. Stop it. Wincing, you grit your teeth knowing the negativity needs to end now. Of course, you are enough. You have always been enough, and nobody should make you doubt otherwise. “Anyone who doesn’t see the good in you is at a loss. You are literally the epitome of kindness,” Monnie’s words repeat in your head, uplifting you enough to focus your mind on other matters. Like, preparing your brain cells for the workday ahead.

Finicking with your uniformed red vest, you greet a fellow coworker with a smile, “Good morning, LenLen! Is it five o’clock yet?”

Giggling, LenLen’s face lights up at your question as she finishes folding a pair of jeans to set upon a display. “It is somewhere.”

“Good point,” walking the isles of the store to tidy up the shelves, you can’t help but wonder if it has been long enough since Jeongguk messaged you. Giving it another ten minutes to ensure the coast is clear of customers, you sneak into the breakroom, unlocking your phone to see what he said. You are appalled at yourself for being so consumed in the fact that a guy you just met has taken time out of his day to reach out to you and you wish you could maintain your cool.

‘Dude, your cat looks just like my hellion, Flounder.’

Smiling at what you have read, you click to save the message, so you don’t forget what is being talked about once you exit the snapchat, and you are nearly losing your mind when Jeongguk’s Bitmoji appears a few seconds after you start typing. Uncertain of what else to say, you respond with, ‘Prove it.’ GAH! You grimace, that’s what you have to say? Prove it? Beating yourself up, you forget to breathe the moment the red icon shows that Jeongguk has sent a picture of what you are assuming is his cat. Opening it with the click of your thumb, you are amazed how identical Flounder and Kenai are even considering they could be potential siblings, what a small world right? ‘First off, LOVE the name’, you reply, also realizing you are blushing because also within the picture, a side profile of Jeongguk shows that he is smiling.

Knowing you will have to return to the floor soon, you decide to let Jeongguk send at least one more message before you have to be a responsible adult. ‘Right? It was either Sushi, Tuna, or Sardine, but I thought Flounder would be more fitting and unique. Tetra is my other cat and she’s the worst about stealing my food.’

‘Sounds like Kenai can finally make some friends! And attempt to steal a morsel alongside.’

Typing out the message, you hesitate to send, but with the shared love of felines you honestly feel as though Jeongguk will not overanalyze your reply. Anxious for lunch break, you handle the hours with ease, conversing with LenLen from time to time to figure out who has done what on the chores list. LenLen speaks of a guy that she met recently, with a square jawline and hair as curly as a bowl of ramen noodles, yet his bright smile is what drew her to him. You talk of how happy you are for her and hope for the best, chickening out to tell her about Jeongguk, especially with it being, in your opinion, extremely too soon to mention.

Retrieving your food, you hide away in the breakroom where your eyes immediately glue to your cellular device anticipating whatever Jeongguk has said. ‘Hell yeah, my babies would love that, they do very well with other animals, surprisingly. Hey, sorry I left so soon yesterday, something came up.’

‘It takes a bit for Kenai to warm up, but he will adapt just fine. All he cares about is his stomach being full. No need to apologize, I totally get it.’ Eyebrows furrowed; you can’t help the wonder of what made him leave so soon. Also, you are not one to press further, if he wants to explain himself then he will. Otherwise, you hope that everything is okay with him.

It has only been a few days when you enter the coffee shop again, making it obvious that it indeed is your favorite, and you are shocked the employees don’t know you by name yet. Or so you assume. It is when you see Jeongguk taking a sip of his drink searching for an empty table, your heart leaps as if on cue. You are starting to assume that maybe he is a recent frequenter of this same coffee shop too. Why else have you seen him twice in the span of a few days? You’ve never noticed him here before this week, so now you wonder if he recently moved to the city. His leather jacket hugs his frame as his hair is styled to his liking. You hardly notice the way your mouth waters instinctively and you snap back into focus when you are next in line.

Pretending you didn’t notice Jeongguk, you decide to find a seat a short distance away just in case by some chance he acknowledges you. With coffee in hand, you pick a spot and not even sixty seconds later, you hear the familiar click notification of someone typing on Snapchat. Jittery, which you wish wasn’t so obvious, you carefully reach for your phone seeing: Jeongguk is typing… lighting the screen. Without thinking, you immediately lift your gaze to see him staring at you, a mischievous smirk gracing his pink lips.

Just for his delight, you play along spinning some storybook thought that you two are forbidden lovers hiding from the community by texting instead of speaking to one another in person. Get a grip, y/n, you scold yourself mentally. Opening the message, it reads: may I join you in coffee matrimony?

Shaking your head along with a breathy laugh to his cheesy statement, you respond with a pun, only if you keep me brewing, Tatts!

The creak of his chair echoes as he slides it back. Shyly, you hold his stare, watching him and his thick boots walk to settle into the chair across from you. “Clever,” he muses, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. Strands of his hair fall at the outer corners of his eyes, and you breathe in the faint scent of his cologne. This time, you do not get a whiff of any cigarettes, so you question if he’s even had one today. “If you’re not careful,” he deliberates, “I might have to show you what it’s like to get creamed.”

“Hm.” Arching an eyebrow, you catch on to his game, and if he wasn’t so damn alluring, you wouldn’t even give this conversation another thought with anybody else, “You better hope it tastes as sweet as sugar.” He doesn’t expect you to say that. He may have had women fall hopelessly at his feet, and as much as you feel you might be the next one, you definitely aren’t going to show it. Not right now.

“I hear that the ladies like it steamy.”

“Or iced,” you shrug nonchalantly. Ice play has always been a curiosity of yours, but he doesn’t have to know that. When he doesn’t seem to come up with another pun, you chew the corner of your lip before you lean onto the table yourself, inching as close as you can that the table between you two will allow. “Tell me, Boots, how is it… that a guy with this tough exterior can be so delicately precious about his cats?”

He gestures with his hands. “What can I say? I have to set a good example.”

You harrumph humorously. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

He feigns surprise. “You think I am incapable of being a good role model to my children?”

“Oh please. All you have to do is keep their food bowls filled to the brim and you’ve already won dad of the year.”

Jeongguk winks, bringing his hands together to interlace his fingers reminding you of the tattoos you wish you can visualize more. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy,” he smirks.

You have a hard time breaking his gaze, but you clear your throat when it lingers a bit too long. “Anyways,” you attempt to change the subject, “I hope all is well.” You’re really hinting about why he left so suddenly the last time but knowing men do not always pick up on hints, you know you will accept whether he gets what you mean or not.

“Seeing that you put your clothes on right today, my OCD hasn’t been triggered.”

“Happy to see I’ve made a difference in your life.” You playfully sneer.

“It’s the little things that count.”

You feel your uterus squeeze. How the fuck is he so damn attractive for? “I’ll keep that in mind every time I dress.” You say it too quickly without thinking, your cheeks glimmering blood red. He quirks an eyebrow tauntingly.

“I can always help.”

“Nice try, Cigs.”

Except… You want him to try. That itching desire travels through your chest, and you wonder maybe… just maybe, you can get his help. Not necessarily with getting dressed because you swear you are competent to do so, but… maybe he can cure the curse of loneliness, even if it’s just for the moment. You want to deny that you hope it will be much more than just this moment. You can’t explain any of this. Are you trying to impress him?

Uncrossing your ankles underneath the table, you do slide your feet forward taking the tip of your boot to tickle up his leg and you can’t help the smirk that graces your lips when he sucks in a hiss. There’s a tad bit of space on the chair where you place your boot, gracefully taking your other foot to nestle on the other side of his hips. You don’t know what is taking over you, but it’s divine, and now you can’t stop yourself especially with his eyes tempting for you to continue. “I’m gonna need help with more than-”

“How’s it going?”

You jolt, boots slamming to the ground when your wide eyes shoot to see a smiling employee who clearly is going from table to table to check on customers. Stammering, you lick your lips while Jeongguk tries not to laugh in response to your sudden shock. “Goo-good!” You plaster a wide smile while the employee bows swiftly to then waltz to the next table as if they didn’t intrude on your façade to win over this incredibly attractive man across from you. Fuck, you grimace. How embarrassing.

When coffees are finished and downed in clumsy silence, you reach for a stick of gum, offering Jeongguk a piece so you don’t feel so insecure about the coffee breath. He offers to walk you home, but you tell him the bookstore is where you plan to be next. You’re not ready to go home because home is where you will replay the humiliation of what just happened repeatedly. You need a distraction.

Side by side, the pair of you set off down the alley, your nerves still shooting through your limbs while anxiety of what to talk about tackles your brain cells. You’re really trying to forget already, but it’s too fresh to just repress. Maybe there is a sliver of comfort with the silence, but of course, you overthink that as well because when do you not overthink?

You know what? You saw the pleasure in his eyes, there wasn’t a smidge of doubt in his expression when his body responded to you in the coffee shop. Noting that the alley is empty, you take the opportunity. If he wasn’t the slightest bit into you, he wouldn’t be adamant on making sure you arrive to your next location safely. But you need to think fast before you exit the alley. “Cigs!” You blurt. He stops the second you do. The gravel beneath his boots being the last sound you hear before adrenaline takes over.

Your hands grip the front of his leather jacket and when he clues in, as if rehearsed, his large hands grasp your hips, walking you backwards until your back gently bumps against the brick building. His gaze is intense as if preparing you what you are asking for while your mouth parts in yearning for whatever he is about to do. He over towers you, and your eyes never move even when his palms slide to your waist, his shaky exhales leaving his nostrils. His lips are pressed together. When you think he’s about to kiss you, he slams his eyes shut, shifting nothing but his forehead to lean to yours as your eyes flutter closed. Waiting.

Tingles resonate across your skin and the longing is immensely strong, you don’t want to hold back. You hadn’t realized that the back of your hands are against the brick wall as if you have surrendered to him. In a way, you have. The seconds feel like minutes, and when you think he will finally connect with your body, he pulls away. His hands ghost your waist.

For some reason, you keep your eyes closed. His lips then brush warmly to your forehead and with that, you hear the crunch of his footsteps disappearing as he did the first time you met. Your eyes peel open, and it’s like Jeongguk is a figment of your imagination because now:

he’s gone.

-

You never expected to hear from him again, but as days pass, it’s crazy how one person can enrapture the entirety of your thoughts even with the distractions from work because Jeongguk has mastered it for you. And that is how it has been the rest of the week, giddily waiting on his every text and enjoying every bit of the conversations shared between you two as if the sexual tension in the alley never happened. Eagerly, you toss and turn at night due to the cycle of daydreams rehearsing in your mind rent free, but you can’t help yourself, you love to imagine the possibilities of a real adventure with someone you want to spend time with again. If it ever happens.

“You’re glowing.” Monnie’s eyes squint as you grin away to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator for an electrolyte drink.

“I… cleansed my face?”

“No, it’s not that.”

Teasingly scoffing, you take a swig of your drink, “I... am… expecting?”

“Nice try,”

You nearly choke on the second sip, “C’mon, it’s not that impossible. You don’t know my schedule.”

“I know it enough to know that you haven’t missed a birth control shot since you became physically intimate, and that was practically decades ago.”

“You can just say sex you know,” you retaliate, “And for your information, I had sex last year.”

“Yeah, practically decades ago.”

“Fine. Ten or so excruciatingly long years ago, I had sex.”

“So, in conclusion, you are not with child.”

“Yet,” you ploy, letting Monnie glare at you as she slowly steps out of the kitchen. Who are you kidding? You don’t have time for kids, and you know it. Despite what your uterus wants, you do have to find a stable time to want to produce so for now, you shall wait until the time is right. Hence, why you remain on birth control until you know for sure. Otherwise, life goes on as always. Besides… you do recall the last time you had sex. And… it wasn’t with Hoseok. A secret you will take to your grave if you have to. A secret that happened one drunken night weeks after you and Hoseok broke up. And, you never went back hence why it has been a year since you’ve had sex.

You had guilt as if you cheated on Hoseok even though you did not in fact. Either way, you throw the memory into the depths of your mind and try to force yourself to forget how plush the man’s lips felt along your skin. Instead, you replace it with the brief kiss Jeongguk left on your forehead which feels so out of reach.

During the time of messaging back and forth, one evening, Jeongguk offers to call you due to an atrocious event happening at your workplace that you and LenLen got involuntarily involved in. A customer apparently read a sales sign wrong and didn’t realize it until checkout and no matter how much you and your coworker tried explaining things, the customer was not having it which leaves you to call a manager. Overall, it was a situation that unfolded that you honestly wished didn’t hover in your brain cells, but when Jeongguk calls so you can rant, it means the world.

“You are quite attractive and that’s one hundred percent a compliment, and I’m not one to just throw those around to male specimens.” You confess after long conversation. It’s like you moved on from the awkward interactions. Plus, you convince yourself that you came on too strong the last time you saw him.

He snickers on the other line and vividly you imagine his smile, tickling your tummy like the beating wings of multiple butterflies. “Why, thank you. You definitely have my attention, too, ya know.”

“Well…’ You press the knuckle of your thumb to your bottom lip for a second, “That’s very sweet of you to say.”

“And you also deserve to be respected. I’m sorry the customer gave you and your friend such a hard time. If retail is no longer what you want to do, my stepbrother owns a well-known bookstore. I remember you mentioning your love for books at one point and I’m sure he will offer good pay.”

“You would do that for lil’ ole’ me?”

Chuckling lightly, “Anybody with a smart mouth like yours needs a break too.”

“Oh shucks,” though he can’t see it, your cheeks flush a hot shade of red. “Consider me interested! I may give the store some more time since I don’t want to leave LenLen stranded so abruptly, otherwise, I might put in an application just cause.”

“I’ll keep my stepbrother posted.”

You thank him before you decide to head to bed, dazed on cloud nine as you hang up the phone.  

-

It doesn’t matter how busy you are, the second you see the:  Jeongguk is typing…. Notification it’s:

Halt. Stop everything and scramble to unlock the phone screen. Breathe. He is just a guy. He is just a dude with tattoos. Okay, must read message in sixty seconds to not seem desperate. Force yourself to Google search ‘kittens’ to distract your frantic desire to reply immediately to his every text. Does it work? Partially.

So…. I was wondering, would you happen to be off in the next few days? It’s been a minute.

Double take. Eyes enlarged. No way. Inhale. Release. Slowly but clearly, you reread the Snapchat message as if your life depends on it. How long has it been since you two have been messaging back and forth? Maybe a few weeks? But how should you respond? Maybe not as excited so you don’t appear deprived? Or seem super excited so that he knows you are most definitely wanting to meet up? You were super proud of yourself with how contained you stayed when he called you however long ago. Nay, appear neutral. Come across dainty with a sprinkle of bad ass, that’ll get him…. Right? Okay, maybe not.

Funny you ask because I happen to be off today. Send. You squeal internally. You genuinely can’t help how stoked you are in seeing him; the next question is, what is his idea of fun aside from the coffee shop? You are honestly up for anything even if it’s admiring the night sky on a roof with glasses of wine. Or, admiring his tattoos and him explaining the meanings of each one. You have always wanted to get a tattoo yourself but have yet to decide not only what to get but when the right time will be. As with anything, you want the first time to be special. That’s what she said, as you roll your eyes at yourself. Your uterus sure likes to talk, and you really hope you can keep yourself tame once you see him again because a year of no intimacy is already hard enough; and you atrociously hate admitting that you sometimes become lonely for a partner even though healing this past year has been a roller coaster. Even trying to avoid the temptation to reach out… to the last man you entangled with.

Shuddering with guilt, you stroll to the kitchen upon waiting for Jeongguk’s response, and you notice beneath a magnet the card the driver, Jimin, had given you forever ago. The day you met Jeongguk. Carefully shifting it out from under the magnet, an idea does form. Maybe Jeongguk would like to meet you there at the opening. Does he seem like a ‘bar’ type kinda guy? Oh. You wince. What does that even mean? Who doesn’t like a bar setting with a few beers? Plus, it’s been a while since you’ve been to one so why not?

Well today is our lucky day for I happen to have the next 12 hours to find something fun to do. Whaddya say about joining me?

Bring it on, Cigs. You respond and despite the nervous jitters, you type more after the initial message you sent. I actually promised to go to an opening of a new bar that happens to be tonight. If I send the address, would you like to meet me there?

When he asks for the time and where, you send the information. You will get to see him tonight. Now all you can do is panic about what to wear and if you even have anything to wear for the occasion.

Fantastic.

-

Quivering fingers amidst clammy palms slide across the tops of your thighs while you steadily breathe. You, being the early bird that you are, arrive at the bar a few minutes earlier than what you mentioned to Jeongguk. The last you heard from him was when you both finalized the plan. To calm the nerves, you definitely need a drink. A strong one. Your maroon dress clings to your frame the way you like, and you made sure your make up was exactly how you like it to be.. You haven’t felt this confident since you left your ex. And you hope this proves that you never need a man to help you dress.

You ordered a cab to get there so you didn’t have to worry about driving, and you figure if you and Jeongguk still hit it off in person as you do through messaging, then maybe he can make sure you get home safely. So, you hope. Maybe even make up for lost time since the alley.

Sending a quick message to let Jeongguk know you have arrived; your eyes observe your surroundings, and you don’t see him anywhere just yet. Maybe he is stuck in traffic? You wonder. If he is driving, obviously he shouldn’t message you, so you show your ID to the bouncer after standing in line for a few minutes letting the uneasiness settle.

Bodies are scattered among the floor as music blares throughout the building. Laughter and the smell of alcohol is the first thing that comes to your nostrils while your eyes trail for some familiar faces if any happen to be here. Colorful flashing lights wave over the tables, walls, and chairs while people dance continuously, and you really hope despite the overall dim lighting you recognize Jeongguk the second he walks in. Regardless, you search for Jimin since he is the one who invited you, but you haven’t seen him thus far.

Swallowing down the nerves, you squeeze through the crowd until you reach the bar, asking for something strong for you to sip on until Jeongguk arrives. It’s been about ten minutes once your drink is in your hand, and when you check your phone, Jeongguk still hasn’t read the message. You contemplate phoning him, but know it’s too loud to try, so you assure yourself he will be here. You have full confidence that he will call you if he is running late. Which… technically at this point he should have called you by now.

To divert yourself from the sinking feeling, you watch the bustles of people having the time of their lives when a particular human being causes your shoulders to stiffen and your mouth to run dry. Flashbacks of that night flicker in your mind as a weary sense of dread subdues you. The secret you have kept concealed from the world. Stay calm, y/n. Remain. Calm. You hardly remember how you got there, but you noticed how handsome he was, how his hair was loosening from the gel, and his smile put you at ease as you two laughed together. He was drunk, too, but both of you were still aware enough to know what was happening. What was stirring between you two. All you held onto was how he was the first to make you laugh in weeks during that time.

You knew you shouldn’t have been there, but you didn’t care, and you were desperate to feel something. Freshly single and overruled by anger, you let it win. When you kissed him for the first time, he froze, and you pulled away. But he held your eyes, flitting between them without a single word. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed you back, and you remember the way his palm felt on your cheek. The way the kisses grew aggressive and emotional as if he felt the guilt from keeping the secret buried from you. Knowing his best friend was in the wrong for what he did to you, but he knew it wasn’t his place to tell you the truth. But boy, had you made it your place to entangle with this guy who was giving into what his emotions were displaying. He wanted you to feel special. It was like his kisses brought an apology you wished your ex would have given you.

So, in a strange yet erotic way, you let it all go with him. Drunken, slovenly kisses until the pair of you started to sober up enough to experiment further. You can’t remember much of the foreplay, but you do, however, remember when he pressed himself into you, riding smoothly as he kissed every inch of your face and your neck. His hands didn’t exactly know where to touch, but his lips did, and that was enough. He moved in you so gently.

When you had awaken the next morning, you laid flat on your back while tears streamed from the corners of your eyes. You don’t know how long you remained there. You don’t know how long you silently cried. But you left before he woke up. You left before you both had to take in account of what you two had done. What you two had shared.

Now here he is in the present.

Kim Namjoon, Hoseok’s best friend, is here, and he spots you almost as immediately as you spot him. Gulping, you do not know what else to do other than spin around immediately and face the bar contemplating to chug every ounce of the alcohol remaining in your glass. Setting your drink down cautiously to not spill the contents, a rear of nausea raises its ugly head. What is Namjoon doing here!? The last time you saw him was the night you would do anything to forget.

Heart hammering, you squeeze your eyes closed. Namjoon may have given you a good night to hold on to for a while a year ago, but it wasn’t anything more than that. It couldn’t be. You were full of anger and a brief desire of revenge, and you were drunk, and you were-

Large hands lean upon the counter of the bar on either side of you as you suck in a breath. You recognize those hands. Those hands are the ones that slid along your body while you pleaded for more. And the countenance of his frame over towers you as you feel the tip of his lips centimeters from your ear kindling goosebumps along your arms. But these hands aren’t the hands you’ve been waiting for. Not one tattoo shows on these hands.

“Long time, no see.” Namjoon says into your ear. Mustering enough courage after steadying yourself, you turn to face him for the first time in a year. His eyes are as filled with longing as they were the night you last saw him. The kind of longing that wonders of how you feel about what occurred. If you still ponder it.

“What are you doing here!?” You say amongst your trembling body. You try to stay firm though you know deep down none of this was Namjoon’s fault. Trying to set your jaw, you take in the way his shirt tugs at his muscles, and the way his hair is gelled to perfection. You have forgotten how beautiful this man is, but Jeongguk. Where the literal fuck is Jeongguk? He is who you want deep down. So where is he? “Never mind that,” you shake your head, realizing he has every right to be here as you do. “What do you want?”

Namjoon’s eyes flicker along your face momentarily before he speaks. The way his dominant gaze holds you in place could drive any woman mad. “To make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh bullshit.” You say through gritted teeth because not only is Namjoon’s proximity bringing unwanted emotions, but it is also bringing the memories of Hoseok. Memories you really have tried not to relive.

Namjoon’s eyes squeeze shut. “y/n, I’m being serious. You fell off the face of the earth since…”

“Since what? Since Hoseok? Or you?” His mouth shuts automatically. “I don’t know what you expect me to say. What happened that night… It was my fault. I know that, but it shouldn’t have happened.” The anger for even saying Hoseok’s name after so long of refusing to is a strange feeling. Namjoon swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and you visibly see the guilt in his eyes because he agrees. Hoseok has been his best friend since they were kids. “How long had you known by the way? About the other girl? Who is she?” He releases a sigh, shaking his head while he tilts his gaze downward in shame. He knows. Of course, he does. He’s refusing to answer the question, but you ask another one anyway. You know it’s too loud to whisper, and from your peripheral, you may have gained a few stares, but you raise your voice just enough for Namjoon to hear. “Does… he know?”

“That we fucked?” Namjoon answers quickly, his eyes locking with yours. “Of course not.” He’s not going to risk losing his friendship is what you are reading between the lines.

“Good.” You refuse to move your gaze. “Keep it that way. Please.” He’s still so close. And you breathe in his scent. Your hand brushes his chest, while your forehead touches to his chin. Both of you share a silent understanding. A pact.

Namjoon is about to say more but you politely shove his arm out of your way ignoring his reach to stop you. You’re scared that you will give in to the thought of him from all these emotions. Whatever he has to say, he can keep it to himself. For now. You need to catch your breath.

Checking your phone, Jeongguk still hasn’t read your message and at this point, you have no idea of where he is or why he even bothered agreeing to show up if he truly had no intentions of seeing you again. Maybe you should have known better. He has the bad boy persona just from his stature, but maybe for once you wanted to believe you could get excited about someone again. Maybe he was the distraction you hoped for and needed, and now that your nerves are shot, and your heart is aching from all the emotions, you’ll do anything at this point to rid of it all.

Regretfully forgetting your drink at the bar and realizing after you move to another section of the place, you happen to see Jimin whose face lights up with recognition. Air escapes your lungs yet again because you forgot how attractive he is too. You notice he has been conversing with none other than Kim Seokjin which makes you want to faint since he is so famous and you have yet to meet a famous person, but for right now, despite the tears wanting to spill down your cheeks from the interaction with Namjoon and the acceptance that Jeongguk will not be showing up after all, you are so thankful that Jimin is making his way towards you. Until your emotions settle, you cannot risk humiliating yourself in front of a celebrity of Seokjin’s status. It would be too much.

Your jaw almost drops though when you catch a sudden glimpse of your coworker LenLen who is snug against a man with fluffy hair a short distance away, and you realize that this must be the man she’s been talking to you about! You tell yourself that you will make sure to say hey to her if you get the chance. It’s about time other conversation is shared that is not related exclusively to work.

“Hey there!” Jimin smiles fully, bringing your muddled mind back to attention. He leans in for a quick hug before pulling away. “You look amazing!”

Blushing, you feel where his fingers stop at your elbows. He has such a kind aura about him that makes you feel safe, so you hope he invites you to hang out, especially since LenLen happens to be in the group Jimin has been socializing with from your quick assumptions. “You look good, too!” You feel like you’re shouting, but you don’t care. You are somewhat relieved to finally have somebody to hang out with no matter how quick it lasts. “How is the opening going? Everything go according to plan?”

“Hell, yeah it has!” Jimin beams. “Taehyung is beyond happy with the results. The line outside is insanity!”

“So happy for you both!” You say, and before you think you may have some form of solace, you wonder where Namjoon is or if he miraculously left, but instead of him, you notice someone else. And you beg the heavens on why you can’t seem to catch a break.

Heart shattering to the floor, your eyes widen, and if Jimin is chatting, you definitely can’t hear him over the loud pounding of your heart in your temples. Is this the real reason Namjoon approached you? That he tried to stop you? To warn you?  

If the forbidden person you are frozen by sees you, you don’t care, you need a reason for his heart to break. Something worse than him finding out that you slept with his best friend if he ever does. Hoseok pauses the moment he sees you standing there; a strange look of confusion dawns him instantly as his eyes look from you to Jimin and back. You can’t help the way your gaze automatically drifts to see if you find her, too. The girl he chose over you, but you do not see a female near him. Not yet. You tell yourself that you never want to know who she is, but there is always that sick vengeance of discovering.

Jimin’s eyebrow arches as he follows your gaze. Whether he knows Hoseok or not, that part is the least of your concerns. Jeongguk stood you up, Namjoon confronted you, and your ex-boyfriend who you loved for three years that relentlessly ripped your heart out of your chest- is here and it is too overwhelming to describe right now the full-blown panic shredding every fiber of your being; the utter disbelief how this shit show of a night has unfolded. You wish you were drunk enough to ignore this inexplainable pain. You wish you had a place to escape to.

But… Maybe Jimin is it. If Jeongguk didn’t want to be, then maybe Jimin will.

Despite his furrowed eyebrows, when Jimin turns just enough to look at you, it’s all it takes. Briskly, you cup his face, pressing a kiss to his cloud-like lips while he stumbles in surprise. Relief floods your quivering frame when he doesn’t even remotely hesitate to kiss you back. His lips are enticingly soft and pure, and he tilts his head to deepen the kiss letting the tip of his tongue brush yours ever so slightly. He tastes of peppermint and booze, and he tastes so good, you get tipsy just off his lips. You move your hands to lock behind his neck while his fingers find a hold on your waist. “Well damn,” he says breathless against your lips while peppering short kisses in between his words. “If I would have known, I would have done this much sooner.”

Gripping loose strands on the back of his head, you lift onto the tips of your toes. “You won’t regret it,” you purr into Jimin’s ear, gaze tauntingly floating to stare right into Hoseok’s, whose eyes widen in enormous shock, before Jimin pins you to his frame as if your clothes are a barrier he wishes didn’t exist. Everywhere is too crowded to really notice the way you two lock lips for majority of the evening. And you are well aware that you two are not the only ones making out.

You know Hoseok is watching every second, probably fuming, probably balling his fists, probably justifying every reason he has to interrupt. You hope he is watching every grip of Jimin’s fingers on your ass, the way his lips suck your neck, or the way he twirls your body under the spotlight if a song he likes comes on. You know the jealousy that’s bubbling beneath Hoseok’s chest is about to erupt. But he also knows better than to intervene between the woman he betrayed and who he is assuming to be her new boyfriend. Because it’s too late. You wouldn’t take him back even if he begged. Because whoever she is out there, she knows what she did to you, too. How she couldn’t even show her face when Hoseok burst onto the porch the day you found out. How her breasts were rounded beneath Hoseok’s shirt. The shirt you painfully remembered was missing when you finally had a moment where your emotions didn’t get the best of you. She had that shirt the entire time.

You hadn’t planned to invite Jimin over. The night drives on and you see that Jeongguk at this point, indeed, read your message, but didn’t bother to respond. Didn’t bother to even make an excuse. To explain why he left you to unintentionally fend for yourself. He could have been here. He could have saved you from tonight if he wanted to. But he didn’t.

You hop into Jimin’s car willingly and he drives you home, kissing you and kissing you while your clothes hit the bedroom floor. Jimin slides on a condom before he pushes into you from behind when your body pins to the wall, him pounding as if to the beat of a song while his teeth dig into your shoulder, into your neck. “Deeper!” You squeal. “Keep going, ah-!”

You do not care about the sounds that have echoed from either of your mouths or the number of positions you two have attempted. You lost count after four. You don’t care that you just met him a few weeks ago. You don’t care how you are going to feel in the morning. Yes, you are aware that you are sober this time. But you want Jimin to keep moving inside you until you forget about your one-night stand with your ex’s best friend. Till you forget about Hoseok’s betrayal that haunts your mind and shreds your heart. Till you forget about the girl who took part in ruining your life. Till you forget about the tattooed man who you hoped would rescue you.

Cigs.

Fuck you, Cigs.

-

The morning comes quickly coupled with a pounding headache while you groggily stretch your arms and legs amidst the tangled bed sheets. You accidentally brush warm skin causing you to jolt upright. Wincing, the pounding in your head worsens, yet you turn just enough to assess that you one hundred percent just hooked up with the hot driver who co-owns a bar and is best friends with a celebrity.

Fuck.

Your palms slap to your face. You weren’t even intoxicated, so how could you let this happen? You may not have been drunk off your ass, but you sure as hell were emotional and that can be equally as dangerous as taking shots of the strongest alcoholic beverage out there. “Shit,” you murmur to yourself, watching the slow fall and rise of Jimin’s breathing. Kenai chirps outside your bedroom door and you realize it is probably past his breakfast time. Slipping out of bed as quietly as you can, you freshen up and brush your teeth. Twice. Just in case if you ultimately decide to continue this rendezvous before you kick Jimin out.

Shuddering, you wonder how loud you might have been last night. And by that you mean, was your sister home? And did she hear the commotion you let out the second you got Jimin alone? If she was home maybe, you could handle that truth. What also concerns you is if Yoongi was home too. You couldn’t bear facing the two of them if they were home while you tackled Jimin like a football player between the sheets.

Oh, when will all this humiliation end!? You want to scream outwardly. It’s been never ending. And, when you start to dress into a nightgown, you finger at the red mark on your shoulder. A reminder of where Jimin had been. And you hate that you like it.

Leaving the bathroom trying to rid the thought, you see Jimin is fully awake and putting on his shirt, his pants already hugging his toned legs. His hair is unkempt from the night before, and it looks cuter that way with his array of colors dyed with the blonde. “Hey there,” he smiles brightly when he sees you. You notice him pop a piece of gum in his mouth which you figure is because he never planned to bring a toothbrush… Because he hadn’t planned to sleep with anybody until you ferociously pounced.

“Hey,” You reply softly, crossing your arms to lean against the door frame of the bathroom. Kenai is still meowing outside the bedroom, frequently pawing at the door.

“Somebody’s pissed.” Jimin chuckles, pointing at the door.

“He’s starving 24/7 and likes to remind me just as often.” You kid, eventually stepping to sit on the bed. You aren’t sure how to feel about last night. But at the same time, should you regret it? The way Jimin’s eyes swept your body, to be honest, you kind of don’t regret it. “How did you sleep?” You try to make small talk to prevent any uneasy friction.

“Wonderfully.” He smiles again. “I hope you did?” He stands, rounding the bed to gently take a seat next to you. The smell of mint from his gum wafting to you tempting you to taste it.

“I did.” You return his smile, leaning in to touch a small kiss to his plush lips. Your headache is starting to dull some which makes you feel better. “Thank you for last night. I had fun.” You lean your forehead against his cheek as he leans back into you.

“I had fun, too.” He says quietly. Taking in a deep breath, he stands as you follow suit. “I better get going. Taehyung has been blowing up my phone wondering where I am. Really, I mean it when I say I had fun. Maybe… we can link up again soon?”

Hand in hand, you lead him to the front door while Kenai excitingly runs his furry body against both of your legs. Giggling, you kiss Jimin some more, “I’d like that.” A couple more kisses and you smile against his lips, “See ya.”

“See ya.” He nods, kissing your cheek one last time before taking off. As much as you wish that your heart would be soaring through the sky: it doesn’t. All your head can seem to obsess over is why Jeongguk stood you up. Was it all a game? Just to get a high that a girl wanted him, just for him to leave her stranded. What gives? In the end, is it really worth the explanation? You are so sick of getting screwed over.

“Who was that?”

“GAH!” You jump causing Kenai to dash wherever he can to hide. Your heart nearly stopped beating and your hand flies to your chest with relief when you see the teasing stare of your sister, Monnie.

“Monnie! For goodness sakes, you scared the fuck out of me!”

“Well!?” Monnie, not missing a beat, bellows. “Who was he!?”

“Nobody.” That is your first response as if you need a defense mechanism.

“Nobody!? With the animalistic sounds I heard last night, you have the absolute nerve to tell me that was nobody!?”

“He’s… He’s a guy I met a few weeks ago,” you try to reply while your heartbeat attempts to calm.

“He is cute,” she coos. “Like smooth like butter cute. Like the butter you slab on a piece of crisp toast cute. He can make anybody feel warm and fuzzy. Girl, I’m telling you right now-”

“Okay, we get it! I know.” You aren’t sure how to cope with the chagrin reddening your cheeks, or the dulling headache on top of it, but you manage somehow. “Please tell me Yoongi isn’t here.”

“Lucky for you he’s at a conference and has been since yesterday afternoon, so he didn’t hear a thing. I was supposed to go but I got-” She mimics what is supposed to be a cough into her hand. “Sick.”

“Oh! You are ridiculous!”

“It’s called, my sister brought home a cute guy for the first time in a decade, and I must hear all about it.”

“Nope!” You say trying to brush past her. “By the way, it’s only been a year.”

“Not anymore-!”

“Gah!” You clap back, slamming your bedroom door, and diving onto your bed, the mattress bounces your body while you scream heavily into a pillow. The scent of Jimin is everywhere in your room still and your sister’s voice keeps rattling on about how she just wants you to be happy and that you deserve to be even though in your heart, you have no idea when that day will come. Eventually you will confide in her about everything, but for now you will bury your face into the pillow and let the tears flow until you fall back asleep.

-

Monnie reluctantly gives you space, but only because she has ‘somewhere to be,’ and she is ‘not going to let you make her late.’ So, she says. You give Kenai an extra bit of food in hopes to win back his forgiveness and you dress out of the nightgown considering another trip to the coffee shop. Your eyes burn slightly from the crying earlier. After last night, you happen to note that you never got Jimin’s number which is probably a good thing so he can avoid the hot mess of thoughts spinning profusely in your mind. Between seeing Namjoon and Hoseok last night and hooking up with Jimin, you can hardly imagine what the two could have said after seeing, not only you, but you sucking faces with another guy. Though it’s nice to have male attention from time to time, you didn’t expect it all to unravel at once.

Some people would make you feel so stupid for your actions while others would praise you for being so bold and independent. You’re single and you can do whatever you want. Are you really mad that you hooked up with Jimin last night? Out of desperation for running into your ex? Or are you more broken about Jeongguk standing you up, and ashamed that you are upset about it when you only have seen him twice?

You can’t help the way you feel. You inhale and exhale deeply. Running from your thoughts is all you want right now.

Entering the coffee shop, you ordered a cab and left a tip because you really despise driving, and here you are in line eventually ordering the same drink you got last time. Why you feel to look for Jeongguk, you wish you didn’t. Training your eyes to focus on what is in front of you- you grip the coffee cup once it’s placed on the counter, and you find a small table in the back away from as many people as you can avoid.

He has his reasons, but you really hope that the reasons weren’t to play with your feelings purposefully. Even though that’s exactly what it looks like. Inwardly, you accept that you probably will never see him again, and you also convince yourself that maybe Jeongguk really was a figment of your imagination. The messages on your phone will say otherwise, but for now, with the hot liquid of your coffee stinging your tongue, you will continue convincing yourself that he is a simple figment of your imagination.  

That thought lasts about thirty minutes, when your coffee is halfway downed and the view of a tatted hand glides upon the table where you feel your throat shrink. No fucking way. You keep your gaze on your coffee cup, the faint smell of a cigarette wafts in your direction and you refuse to look at him. Anger blares inside you. You can tell he is gradually taking the seat across from you because it is pretty evident how rigid you are in response to his presence. He can tell you are annoyed. Maybe even furious.

“Hey…” He forces once he scoots the chair closer to the table. You stay silent. “Look, I-”

“What do you want?” You look up finally. His look is firm, but guilt stricken all at the same time. He presses his lips together. “No, really. Amuse me.” You wave a hand at him. “Was it a one night stand you wanted? Because you could have just asked.”

His eyes enlarge but only slightly. “No. No, that’s definitely not-”

“Then what? What do you want?” You rarely give him a chance to speak before you start gathering your things. To prevent unwanted attention, you toss the coffee cup into the trash can on your way out, Jeongguk on your heels. Marching toward the sidewalk that you can follow back to the city; you huff in exasperation when you feel his hand curl around your arm.

“Let go of me!” You say loudly, thrusting your arm away from him.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay. Just- just let me explain-”

“Oh, go fuck yourself.” You try to walk away.

“y/n. Please.”

You thought you lost your shit last night when you attacked Jimin’s mouth in front of Hoseok. And you thought you lost your shit this morning when you sobbed into your pillow. But this anger and desperation and sadness that you have kept pent up since the day you discovered Hoseok’s infidelity is about to explode. And it’s about to explode in what you know will embarrass you for the rest of your life. Or… it just flat out won’t.

Scoffing, you pause, spinning to face Jeongguk, whose hands raise as if to calm you down, but you are far from calm. “You know what?” You say slowly. “That whole spiel about how I deserve to be respected was a whole load of bullshit wasn’t it?” You step forward making it clear that you aren’t done speaking, and though Jeongguk claimed weeks ago that he wasn’t scared of anything, there is the slightest hint of fear you gather in his eyes though he straightens to let his arms hang loosely at his sides. “I’m starting to think there’s no such thing anymore. First, after three years, with who I thought was the absolute love of my life, three years, he cheats on me with some chick I still to this day do not know who she is or how the fuck they met. So, for unplanned revenge, I fucked his best friend and guess what!?” You throw your hands up, “They both were at the bar last night. Both. Of. Them. How the fuck does that happen!? I move to the city to run away from my problems, and they follow me anyway. They fucking follow me as if I need that reminder. As if I need to relive that heartbreak over and over again. As if I deserve it- to have it thrown in my face.” Running your hands through your hair, you choke back a sob. You refuse to cry in front of this man who is basically a stranger but not really. You don’t notice the remorse showing in his eyes after revealing your limited yet very detailed confession. How he could have easily prevented this.

“I meet you once, and for the first time in a year, I finally know what it’s like to be excited again. To have something to potentially look forward to.” You laugh one syllable. “And yet, I don’t fucking know a single thing about you. Where you’re from, where you work, why you suddenly start coming to this coffee shop when I have never seen you there before, and I keep beating myself up for being so damned hurt about this when you’re a total stranger.” You can’t even look him in the eyes. “And there you are, completely leaving me stranded in a bar when you said you’d fucking be there. Respect, my ass. Have a nice life, Cigs.”

“You do deserve respect.” Oh, why do you pause? “I fucked up last night, okay!? I um…” He trails off, shaking his head as if to rid of whatever he originally was going to say. “Something came up-”

“Is that what it’s going to be every single time!? Something came up!?”

He winces when he acknowledges how bad it seems. “Look I- I know how it sounds. Please. Just let me make it up to you.”

Scanning him from his styled hair to the charcoal color of his boots, the thrilling sense of lust clouds your frame simultaneously to your mouth watering. It takes everything in you not to rush forward and cling onto him as if your life depends on it. But, at the same time, you see a guy who completely ghosted you on a night you may have needed his company most. And, if he was willing to do that to you last night, why wouldn’t he do it again?

The anger is still written all over your face and your demeanor. Sneering, your lips curl.

“No.”

And you stomp off toward whatever destination you hope to find as you did a year ago when you ran from disappointment. You wonder how it feels for him to see you walk away this time.

-

It doesn’t matter the day or the hour. Every time you step foot into the same coffee shop, he’s there. Jeongguk is there. Sitting a table away, keeping his eyes on you. Waiting for you to cave. You have ignored every single message he has sent. Every call he has attempted. Yet, you are also fighting the urge to just be near him. Give him another chance. Maybe it’s the fact that you truly do want to know where he was the night, he stood you up. But is it worth knowing the truth? The only thing you didn’t mention the last time you spoke to Jeongguk was the one night stand you had with Jimin. Not that it was any of Jeongguk’s business, but still. You don’t want to appear like sex with strangers is something you do all the time, because it’s not. And even if it was, it’s nobody’s business but yours.

You decide to walk the city. If he follows you there, then so be it. Compiling your things, you head out onto the sidewalk, letting the breeze nip your skin. The recent memory of LenLen asking about Jimin and you trying your best to answer her questions without blushing replays. She told you about Taehyung and how him and Jimin are best friends which you happened to already know and you relay to her how happy you are that she found Taehyung. You also apologize that you didn’t get to say hello, but she winks at you for she witnessed the reason why.

When you start reaching the city, you hardly can believe the huge sign, flashing upon the tallest building, of Hoseok’s face which roots your feet to the cement while tears spring in response. Cursing under your breath, you realize that one of the books he had been working on back when you two were together must have been released, the one he continuously spoke about. The one inspired from the script he hoped Kim Seokjin would film a movie with. The one that began with you. Which means, if it has become a success, then now you are going to see his face everywhere you turn. And, if the movie is made, that’s even more publicity Hoseok will gain and even more often you will have to see his face. The more hurt you will endure.

“Damnit,” you want to sob. Out of all the places you think to turn, you flee into the bookstore just to almost collide with a book stand filled from top to bottom with Hoseok’s novel. Fret overpowers your system, and you rush out the doors the second you see it, and you figure maybe walking home, no matter the distance, will help clear the stress out of you. Even though you know it won’t. Because at this point, you give up being in public.

You nearly slam into a figure from your rushed state and when the whiff of a cigarette mingled with cologne greets your nose, you know exactly who you’ve run into. “Why are you doing this.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement. “Why are you following me, Asshole? Did I not make myself clear?”

“I told you I wanted to make it up to you.”

“And I told you no from what I recall.”

“I have short term memory loss.”

“Oh, go fuck yourself, Nemo-”

“I’d prefer if you joined me.”

“You really are asking to get smacked.”

“I like it rather rough.”

“And I’d like for you to leave me the hell alone.”

“Not until you hear me out.”

“And why should I?”

His eyes flit between yours, “Because I can’t let it go. I messed up.”

“You don’t deserve my forgiveness if that’s what you’re implying. To be honest, it’s ridiculous that I’m even mad about it to begin with. I don’t even know you.”

“See, but you have every right to be. You should be mad.”

“Okay. Well then accept that I’m pissed at you and move on.”

“I shan’t.”

You could laugh. You almost laugh. But you hold it together because you can’t just let him think he can get away with how he just randomly leaves you stranded. When you both almost kissed in the alley way, you could sense that his desire was as solid as yours. He acted as if he wanted you. So, why did he just walk away? What is the point in pursuing someone who will always walk away?

Shoving past him, you wish you would have driven this go round so a route of escape would be available. But unfortunately, you didn’t think this through. The only place you can think of is the garden center above the bookstore that you have only visited every now and then this past year. What of Hoseok could possibly be up there? A mural? Stalking in the direction of the building, you avoid making eye contact with the huge ad about your ex, and eventually round the store to find the elevator. There are only a few floors before you reach the top and once you elbow the button to awaken the elevator, the last thing you expect is Jeongguk to follow you right in when the large doors slide open. But honestly you should have expected it.

You elbowed the button for the top floor where the smell of flowers waits for you, but you can’t ignore the tension simmering once the doors close. You bite the corner of your lip in agony, the ding of the elevator agonizingly slow. “I know you’re not about to stop and smell the roses, Eyebrow.” Referring to his eyebrow piercing that makes your insides lustfully shiver, you’re shocked he takes all your nicknames so well, but then you remember you’re supposed to be mad at him. “Why can’t you just take a hint?”

His finger presses to your lips, vanishing your words as he seductively shushes you. And he shifts to stand in front of you, his nose dangerously tickling the side of your cheek while your body fights to not react to the arousal forming below. He whispers, “I don’t need a hint to know that you want me just as much as I want you.” Whimpering, your eyes trace his face, the way his jaw curves, the way his eyes set firmly to you with no intention of moving. Did you hear him correctly? Did he just admit that he, in fact, wants you too? “So,” he continues, slipping his finger away from your lips, he brings his mouth to yours while you sigh in pleasure. Fuck. Your body begs for him to close the gap. Begs for him to kiss you. But he doesn’t. Not yet. “I suggest you behave yourself if you want to keep me tame.”

He is doing to you what you did to him that day in the coffee shop making an effort to seduce him. But this time, he is winning more than you are letting on. When the ding of the elevator brings attention to the opening doors, Jeongguk sighs, “We’re not going there.” Reaching back to hit whatever button he chooses; you don’t even move to see. He can take you wherever he wants, and you could smack yourself for conceding.

“What do you mean?” You murmur, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“I um,” he tilts his head as if embarrassed. “I live here. So, we’re going to the third floor.”

“Excuse me, what?” Your mind is trying to make the connection how it’s possible that he lives on the third floor of your favorite bookstore smack dab in the city. You’ve heard of people who have homes above the places they own, so… Does that mean Jeongguk owns the bookstore? You thought he said his stepbrother owns it? His hand finds yours when the doors slide open again, showing shelves upon shelves of books with sparse customers quietly reading or viewing the array of covers.

Your brain cells are racing but never reaching a finish line as your eyes frantically scan the hallway the pair of you are entering. You try to appreciate the feel of Jeongguk’s hand holding yours, warm and firm and surprisingly safe though you wish you hadn’t lost the will to fight. Why is it so easy for him to melt your anger away? To melt your sadness? To heighten your senses.

He scans something, you assume a card, before opening a large door, flipping on the lights to show an area of simplicity and barely any furniture to decorate once you step inside. The scent is new as if it has just been built, but you know that is impossible considering this bookstore has been around for years. Automatically, you both kick off your shoes. “My stepbrother used to live here before, so I moved in.” He says as if reading your mind. “That’s why there’s not much here, but there’s enough to keep comfortable.” He gestures toward a sofa awkwardly sitting in the middle of what you assume is the living room and loud meows start echoing the second you see a few cat towers sprawled out. Flounder and Tetra.

“I remember you saying he owns a bookstore… it’s here?” You say in disbelief as the cats come flying to greet you and Jeongguk. How can you be mad anymore when these sweet little fluff puffs are rubbing against your legs, mewing for attention? Jeongguk giggles while he tries to bring back the conversation.  

He shrugs, unintentionally dismissing the sexual tension that concocted in the elevator only seven minutes ago now that the cats are out and about. “He’s an actor now. He took over when his dad retired.”

“…What do you do?” You’re quiet and you don’t mean to be, but you’ve been struggling with mixed emotions for what seems like an eternity. At this point, you accept if this is a dream versus reality.

“Nothing,” he says after a moment, head looking downward. You lick your lips when your eyebrows furrow, but strangely you understand this shame. If your sister didn’t have money, you’d be homeless. Your parents live far away, and in all honesty, you don’t truly talk to them as often as you should. You work part time at a retail store because you can’t seem to get your shit together enough to work full time otherwise, you’d be in the same boat… you’d be doing just that. Nothing. “I used to work as a tattoo artist before I moved here, but um… you may find this hard to believe, but I got my heart broken by someone I fell in love with when I was eighteen.”

“You?” You croak. You mean it to come off as a joke but fail miserably. He finally tilts his head up, softly grinning.

“Yes, a tatted asshole that wears leather and smokes cigs can be capable of falling in love and getting heartbroken instead of causing the heartbreak, Macchiato… Happy?”

Why this vulnerability is happening is unbeknownst to you, but you are very happy that he seems to be opening up. He all but admitted he wants you, too. So, the least he can do is try. Try letting you see past the mystery. Try staying instead of leaving. Saying hello instead of goodbye.

“How long were you two together?” You may have spilled the beans of how long you were with Hoseok, not that Jeongguk knows who he is, but three years is a long time.

“Five years. Found out she cheated on me, too… I lost myself for a long time. Ended up at a different girl’s house every week to numb the pain and never called them back the next day. Became addicted to smoking cigarettes. Went to parties quite a bit… Got drunk, you name it… Moved here with my children the second Jin told me I could. That’s when I finally calmed down and realized, I needed to change before it got worse.”

“I’m so sorry… Sometimes people underestimate the pain of a breakup. Especially if you were with them for such a long time as you were.” It’s quiet a little longer than you mean for it to be, but the similarity of how the two of you got your heart broken is an odd coincidence. But then you gasp when a lightbulb clicks. “Jin!? As in, Seokjin?”

“Yeah?” He says unhurriedly. “Is that hard for you to believe?”

“What? No! I’m just- the Kim Seokjin is your stepbrother? He owns this bookstore?”

“Well yeah, he’s the reason the bills are paid for now until I, myself, can get my shit together.”

You know the concentration it takes to complete a puzzle? Well, this is one of those times. Randomly, you wonder. Does Jeongguk know Jimin since Seokjin knows Jimin?

“Do you know who Jimin is?” You spit out. How are all these male specimens connected? Either way, you are definitely not telling Jeongguk about the rendezvous with Jimin that’s for sure.

His eyebrows scrunch and you visibly witness the way his shoulders rigidify as if he knows exactly who you are talking about. “How do you know Jimin?”

“No reason, just wondering. I saw him hanging out with Seokjin at the bar you failed to show up to.”

“Hm.” He hums once. “Interesting.”

“He co-owns the bar with a guy named Taehyung…  My co-worker is dating him. Taehyung, I mean.” You’re having a hard time reading Jeongguk’s expression, but he attempts to not be so uptight.

“Did you… See anybody else there?”

His question hits you by surprise, but you know there is no way he could be referring to Hoseok and Namjoon… Could he? No, of course not. He wasn’t there. He doesn’t know who your ex is specifically. You may have mentioned your ex and your ex’s best friend were at the bar, but you had never given any names. It’s as if Jeongguk is asking solely about someone else… But who?

Pushing your fingertips to your forehead, you release an exasperated sigh. “Can I use your restroom?” You need a moment to yourself. All this unwanted ‘solving’ isn’t getting you anywhere. And why is Jeongguk being so weird about Jimin? He doesn’t know about the hook up and Jeongguk is also not your boyfriend, so why does it matter?

“Yeah, this way,” he points in the direction of what you assume is his bedroom. “On the right.”

The door gently clicks behind you while your palms cling onto the counter when you’re securely within the bathroom. It’s huge. You can tell it’s spacious by the fact you can breathe amidst the anxiety. A jacuzzi and a walk-in shower, a door that you are confident is a towel closet is what you take in once you twirl around. It’s beautiful and so clean, it’s as if nobody has inhabited it in a long time. Either way, you don’t want to take too long, so you pull out a small bottle of mouth wash and complete a brisk breathing exercise before filing out into Jeongguk’s bedroom.

You hadn’t taken time to notice how large his bed is either. The covers are invitingly dark, and you can tell from the curtains that are slightly split show the windows to a magnificent view of the city. Whoever Seokjin’s dad had to construct this place was an absolute genius. A home inside a bookstore, that would be a dream come true for millions.

You brace yourself when you step into the living room, and you notice Jeongguk is preparing wine glasses, a bottle of red is in his hand as he begins to pour the crimson liquid. His cats are munching on some food that he put to keep them occupied. You can tell by his body language that he is going to change the subject regarding Jimin. “How did you know?” You say ultimately when you pull out a stool in front of the counter.

“Nothing a good bit of wine can’t fix.” He winks. “Plus, I figured it will calm the nerves, so we can actually… talk.”

You nod reluctantly, fingers pressing beneath the glass before you take a slow sip. The taste is sour with the mouth wash, but you know after a few sips that will change. A wave of calm floods your chest and limbs once you swallow. “Thank you.” You murmur. He leans on the counter instead of moving to take a seat next to you. He can’t take his eyes off you, and he can’t even explain how just being around you makes him feel. You bring a comfort he hasn’t had in a long time. He knows he has gone about it the wrong way, but he is determined to not let you go this time. No matter how much his ex keeps trying to reach out to win him back. He wants you.

“I’m really sorry about the bar.” He manages to say. He’s not the best with apologies, but he knows you deserve one. “That was really fucked up. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No… You shouldn’t have.” You’re honest because you know what it’s like to be betrayed. Jeongguk of all people should get it too after admitting that he has been cheated on before as you have. You must stand your ground regardless of how weak he secretly makes you because no, this specific situation may not be seen as a betrayal, but it was not okay that he left you there alone. He does, however, want to confess everything, of why he didn’t show up. But something keeps telling him that it’s too soon. When he’s ready, he plans to tell you. But for now, he wants to prove to you that he’s not going anywhere this time.

“I know,” he murmurs.

Taking a longer sip of the wine, you rub at your eyes. “He really did some damage…” You admit, appreciating how easy it is for the pair of you to start opening up. This is something you have battled to talk about since the day you witnessed it. “I mean three years of my life I gave to this guy, and he just…” You throw your hand up. “He just throws every bit of it down the drain. There wasn’t even the slightest red flag. I came home. Heard them in the bedroom… Our bedroom. And I just-” You didn’t want to cry, but the tears greet you with the burn of your nose. “I just left. I don’t even know how long it had been going on. All I know is I blocked him on everything and refuse to give him the time of day. Because I can’t bring myself to face him. Or the pain of it all.” Jeongguk listens contently, sorrow filling his umber eyes. “When I saw him at the bar for the first time in a year, the anger that filled me at first, I wanted to do anything to make him feel the same devastation I felt that day. Sure, I slept with his best friend weeks after the breakup, but he doesn’t know that. And, as much as I want to say the revenge was satisfying… It wasn’t.” You tap your fingers on the counter. “Now I’m here. I’m here in this city, living with my rich sister, and working a part time job. It’s like I want to live in my misery… At least, I have my cat.” You smile, Kenai’s sweet face bringing you peace.

“It takes a long time to move on from something like that. What happened to me was nearly two years ago and it still hurts.” Jeongguk says because he knows exactly how that feels. He still succumbed to his ex’s every beck and call until he met you. That’s when everything started changing for him. Why he couldn’t think straight. When his ex was trying to distract him, his mind was filled with you. “I saw the guy she was cheating with once. I planned to confront him, but… chickened out. I knew if I wasn’t careful, I’d do something I’d regret.”

“Who was he?” You ask. Jeongguk raises his shoulders, pursing his lips.

“I don’t know his name. Just that Seokjin was working on a movie, happened to meet the guy and my girlfriend at the time was with him. Jin put two and two together and called me right after. He recognized her in some of the pictures I posted on social media before I deleted it all.”

“He’s an actor, too? The guy she was with?” You wonder.

“I’m assuming.” He speaks. “She never really met Jin before. Or at least, I never told her specifically that he was my stepbrother. That was a part of my life I tried to keep distant, but when he called me concerned, I knew why she was coming home so late. Or, why she didn’t panic if she knew Jin was my brother who was seeing her in the flesh with another dude.” Jeongguk wets his lips. “And that’s when he tried to help me cope by giving me his apartment here when he saw how far gone, I had gotten. And that’s why she learned to do research on who I’m connected to because apparently me and Seokjin know everybody due to his fame and fortune.” He means the fame and fortune as a joke, but you still ponder.

“So…” Your expression confused. “If that’s the case, how do you know Jimin?”

Jeongguk swallows roughly, “I asked you first.”

Now, it’s your turn to gulp. “About that.” The stool screeches from under you as you immediately stand, chugging every last drop of your wine before you clutch your things to your side. The indent Jimin left on your shoulder has faded some, but it still befuddles you knowing Jeongguk could clue in if he wanted to. “I-I have to go.” You really don’t, but the way your entire body is flushing, and your eyes are wide with panic. What else are you supposed to do? Running is what you do best. As if a lightbulb goes off, Jeongguk’s laugh reverberates behind you.

“Wait a minute, have you banged him?” Halt. You choke completely on your own spit; your trachea insults you while you cough up a storm. Goodness gracious. Why this? Why now? “You totally banged him didn’t you!? Holy shit.”

“So, what if I have?” You stifle another cough whirling to face him. “What the hell are you going to do about it?”

That’s when the air between you two immediately silences as if you gave him the challenge of a lifetime. Not even Tetra or Flounder are around to fill in the void. It’s as if you both are back in the elevator where the temptation became so alive, it was hard to ignore. It was irresistible. The only sound is your breathing as it increases after Jeongguk’s wine glass clinks against the counter. There’s a prolonged few seconds before it all becomes thunderous.  He makes his way to you as your purse slips from your quivering arm. Your breathing stops. His fingertips press to touch to the skin of your chest as he tickles circles. His eyes flit from your parting lips to the way your eyes start to show you’re imploring for him to not stop. He taunts you. Edging so close to you, his lips are barely on yours when he whispers, “I’m going to make you forget he exists.”

This time, you’re not letting him walk away from you. Not again. Not ever. Your palm finds itself gripping his shirt while you close the gap. The millisecond Jeongguk’s lips connect with yours, it’s electrifying. It’s as if somebody injected fireworks into your veins, shooting across your skin and awakening your senses ten times the normal, exploding across your mind, body, and soul. Your heart pounds so loud, you’re shocked if he doesn’t hear it. You’ve been with three other guys sexually prior to Jeongguk, but something about this is mystifying. Powerful.

His mouth moves with yours as you gasp into his kiss, letting him guide you until the back of your legs recognizes the arm of the sofa. His hand moves to tangle into your hair while you deepen the kiss, the tip of his tongue finding yours as he caresses it simultaneously taking his free hand to slip into the front of your pants, but you’re not ready for him to pleasure you yet. You want to show him what he will miss out on if he doesn’t choose you in the end. But you weaken when his heated lips press slowly and gently along your jawline, the arousal you feel drips, his fingers sliding further to slip past your underwear until he runs his fingertips up and down your heat.

“Oh,” he moans with a slight growl burying his face into your neck from how drenched you already are for him. “Holy fuck,” he hisses, trying to keep himself tame. You love the sound of his fingers sloshing up and down against you. But you want it to be you on him.

Shoving him back to give you some space, his hand flies from your pants and he watches you not expecting you to kneel. And not expecting you to fumble undoing his belt, tugging it out of his belt loops, he hisses in response to the point you see his bulge prominently inside his pants. Oh, the way your mouth waters instinctively at the sight of his erection.

Unbuttoning his pants, you yank them down to his ankles, releasing his erection from his underwear where you hum pleasurably at his girth. Your hands run along his thighs seductively; his eyes darken with lust as you connect with them naughtily. Your palm then slides around his length, stroking him agonizingly slow before you take him into your mouth. Letting his precum welcome your taste buds before you hollow your cheeks, the warm skin of his being ignites your arousal even more. His large hand moves to the top of your head where your strands tangle between his tatted fingers. That’s when you begin, bobbing back and forth as speedily as you can, basking in his moans at how amazing you feel. Your hands cling to the bottom of his jacket while you continue your bliss eventually releasing him from your mouth to push him onto the couch where his back plops upon the cushions.

You push his shirt up to visualize his toned abdomen before dipping down to continue sucking, moving your other hand to massage his scrotum, giving him every bit of pleasure, you can to make him crave you. To make him pine for you. Another trick is up your sleeve when your hand returns to his being, following up and down with your mouth while he tries every way not to cum before he gets the chance to pleasure you more. “Holy fuck,” He groans in satisfaction which makes you continue your fun.

Your tongue laps around his tip before you wipe the spittle at the corners of your lips away. When you’re about to continue, he raises, pulling you to his mouth as he kisses you more, becoming hungrier as he shifts you closer. You can tell your clothes are getting in his way for when he pauses, dazed, his hands start to tug at your pants, eventually freeing you from them as you help kick them off. The air in the apartment is colder than you realize. Goosebumps start flying down your legs as you try to regain your focus on removing the articles of clothing off Jeongguk’s top half. Eventually, all linens are plopped onto the floor and your naked bodies are starting to feel every inch of warm skin, captivating every sense, every cell, every emotion, every lustful bliss.

He pauses and you realize his fingertips have paused at the fading spot on your shoulder. The place where Jimin’s teeth sank in. Holding your breath, you see the guilt in Jeongguk’s eyes as his lips become ajar as if he wishes that it could have been him instead. You aren’t sure how to read what he is thinking, especially when he runs the tip of his thumb over the area. But, in the heat of the moment, his other hand slides to the back of your neck where he slightly grips the strands of your hair stimulating you to bite your lip. He tilts your head just enough to cover the spot with his own mouth, sucking harshly on the skin to place his mark. To regain his status. You’ve never seen something so hot, it’s sending immense tingles all through out your frame. He then sprinkles kisses across your chest eventually trailing to your breasts where his tongue flicks over your nipples and the top of his head tickles your chin. Your whimpers increase while he sucks each nipple tenderly, your fingers indenting his back, and the way your vaginal walls leak onto your vulva- you cannot wait for more of this man. Your eyes sweep his figure. His tattoos covering the entirety of his arm.

Goodness, his body is ethereal, and from the way he takes in the view of you bare, you can tell he feels the exact same about you. Your lips tingle for his. Dragging him to you, he crashes his lips to yours, a new addiction you both know will be hard to break. The way his body presses to yours so passionately, it’s as if you have waited your whole life to feel this good. You can still feel the way his lips bruised you on your shoulder, and you adore the way it lingers.

“My turn!” His fingers deliciously dig into your hips, he slides you closer to him despite the limited room on the sofa, and his eyes absorb how sopping wet you are for him even still. He traces his hands to your thighs when you feel your heat clenching fervently for the desire that is taking over your system. Jeongguk wastes no time swiping a finger, sucking your leakage before his tongue starts lapping up every bit of your taste. What really catches you by surprise is how he continues the fast movements, flattening and pointing his tongue seeing which gesture makes you scream for him more. In between, he sucks your clit, taking one hand to reach for the spot above your clit where he massages nice and slow simultaneously while he feasts. “Oh, Guk,” you sigh with elation. “Oh, Guk, yes! Oh my gosh, yes, holy fuck, ah-”

You hardly can contain yourself with how this man is loving your body. He refuses to stop until you feel the powerful jolt of an orgasm, gratifyingly overwhelming your brain as your thighs squeeze together. Jeongguk already pulled away with pure ecstasy of watching you come undone for him. You are so dizzy; you can’t help the way your feet sink into the couch trying to overcome the sensitivity. When you try to shift, to sit up, Jeongguk hovers close to where he whispers, the smell of you reaching your nose.

“Keep your eyes closed,” he says against your lips, kissing you quickly before carefully lifting his body off you. His hands slide along your arms as he tenderly guides you. Before you can question, he interrupts by kissing you again. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got a couple things I want to set up.” As much as you hate to admit it, your heat drips at the way he whispers this to you intensifying the elation. How many times does he plan to make you cum?

The anticipation as to what he’s about to do. What he’s about to show you. Your ears tune into the sounds of the refrigerator opening- his giddy footsteps jogging to the bedroom where you hear the start of running water. Not just a spritz from the shower… the jacuzzi. Holy fuck. When you thought of steamy sex, you never once thought about the jacuzzi. Your hands squeeze into your thighs, the sensitivity between your legs starting to dim. Your heat clenching around nothing as you feel your nipples bud against the chilled air now that his warm body hasn’t been wrapped around yours for a bit. You never really ventured with sex when you were with Hoseok. It was just the typical quickies before and after work depending on the mood with the occasional use of a vibrator. And with Namjoon, it was a drunken blur. With Jimin… It was just spicy vanilla with addictive kisses, but good enough to get the job done and not hesitate for a second round if there ever was to be a second round.

But with Jeongguk. He’s about to give you a night you hope to relive every moment you see him. When he steps into the living room after a few minutes, you had been biting your lip unintentionally, and you feel him kneeling when his tepid hands place on your knees to then gliding up your exposed thighs. He loves teasing you with his lips, talking against them to keep you on your toes. “I’m ready.” He whispers enticingly. You peel your eyes open, him holding your hands while he helps you stand.

When you enter behind him to his bedroom, you notice a golden bowl filled with ice cubes and bubbles from the jacuzzi mingled with steam is shown from where the bathroom door is open. “I didn’t know to buy rose petals and candles-”

“Oh, fuck that!” You gasp, grabbing his face to kiss him again and again. The excitement is so tremendous, his strong arms adhere you to his frame before he peppers kisses along your neck, sucking the skin before placing your back on his bed. Lifting your hands in surrender, he can have you however he wants. However, he needs you. His eyes trail to the ice cubes where he places one in his mouth taking a few long sucks. When you imagined ice play, you never thought you would actually get to experience it.

He then takes the ice and places it on your chest, the cold nips your skin in a pleasurable way and when he slides the cube onto one nipple then to the other, your shaky breaths echo within his bedroom. He then lets the cube glide downwards once your nipples stay budded till he pauses at the beginning of your vulva. “Do you want me, baby?”

“Yes!” You’re breathless, toes curling against the bed sheets, the cold of the frozen water bringing a subtle pain. “Yes, baby, please. I want you.” He lets the ice touch along your slit, causing your hips to rise involuntarily while he rubs it quickly, coating your heat with the chill. Just enough to absorb your taste. As you watch him intensely, he returns the cube to his mouth sucking more until he places it back into the bowl.

Without preparation, his hands, few fingertips cold, wrap around your thighs, shifting you to his starving mouth as he breathes in your scent. “You smell so good, baby.” He growls, his hair tickling your skin before his tongue starts to flick between your folds once more, the chill feel sending vibrations of desire up and down your body while you moan his name even higher than his previous feast. “Oh, Guk! Oh, baby! Holy fuck, you feel so good! Ah!” Your screams encourage him to flick faster, up and down his tongue presses, lapping up your juices while your hands dig into the comforter. Eyes rolling back, one by one, each of his hands reach to rub your nipples, rubbing so fondly while he licks you, making your arousal build even stronger, so intense, you can hardly breathe. His head makes swift movements while he continues to taste you furiously, not taking one moment to breathe himself. You feel another orgasm building, and before you can stop him, your hips buck to the amplifying sensation as the glint of you shines on his chin. He arches an eyebrow proudly as you melt against the comforter- completely and utterly gasping.

But he’s not done with you yet and you don’t want him to be.

He crawls onto the bed to hover above you, interlacing his fingers with yours that happen to untangle from squeezing the comforter. Still holding your hands, he then moves backwards, helping you up to lead you to the bathroom where he shuts the door behind him. Wherever he goes, you will follow. And so far, you are not regretting one bit.

The steam is still rising from the jacuzzi and when he pins you to the tub, he leans over you to press a button, the jets in the jacuzzi awaken and the entire bath is bubbling for you to enjoy. You smell yourself on his mouth, and when he kisses you again, this time it’s so loving. It’s soft. So mesmerizing, you can’t concentrate on anything else as his hands cup your breasts, rubbing your nipples so affectionately that your heat gushes below you as you moan helplessly against his mouth.

“Get in.” He demands and this newfound dominance is going to make you pounce. You tilt your head when you meet his knowing eyes.

“You first, Cigs.” His nose scrunching into the sweetest smile, you dizzyingly watch him step into the jacuzzi, letting the water engulf his frame before you find yourself joining, putting a leg on either side of his hips while you straddle him. His hands massage up and down your back slowly to gripping your ass. How much more stunning can this man be? When he said he was going to make you forget about the past, he wasn’t fucking kidding. And you are very much okay with that.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers suddenly and your heart swells at his words. Not only did he mean it, but you can feel how much he means it. It doesn’t take long for you to bring your lips to his after holding his gaze, eventually moving a hand to find his erection, posing above his length before he enters you causing you to gasp against his kiss before your body starts to move to the rhythm of his hips as he thrusts into you. The water splashes amidst your moans, him hitting your g-spot with every stroke.

Lips still locked to yours, Jeongguk wraps his arms around you before lifting you enough to lay your back against the other end of the jacuzzi. Water covers your body while the jets massage your skin as Jeongguk lingers above you, entering you once more, your arms hug behind his shoulders while he thrusts. His body molds so perfectly with yours, and you never felt so alive. His large hand moves to cradle the back of your head, kissing you so deeply that your head is spinning. You never want this to end. How he moves so beautifully within you. It’s enthralling. He is enthralling.

When he releases into you, the water washes him away, and he sighs into your neck while you two try to catch a breath.

“By the way, it’s Dory.”

Confusion hits you at his sudden, breathless remark. “What?”

“You called me Nemo. It’s supposed to be Dory. She has short term memory loss.”

Shoving him playfully, you splash water at him while giggles echo, him tackling you just to place kisses to your blushing face. You can’t imagine ever losing him at this point. For once, you feel promise even though a promise has never been made.

-

“You’re smiling.” Monnie says suspiciously as you dazingly exit your room.

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“It certainly is not. It’s about time you appreciate your life here.”

“I do appreciate it here.”

“Finally… Is it the blonde guy?”

Your eyes widen because you completely forgot that your sister has no idea about Jeongguk. “No!” You say quickly. “No, it’s not him.”

“Okay,” Monnie says slowly, placing her hands on her hips. “Well, something is making you act like a teenager, so spill it.”

“I will at some point just… Just not right now.”

Monnie groans in annoyance. “I don’t know what I have to do to get you to talk to me, but at some point, I need to know your life story.”

“But you do know most of it. We’re sisters, Genius.”

“The boring stuff. I want to hear the dirt. I’m nosy.”

“You wouldn’t be my sister if you weren’t.” You tease. “I will tell you everything when I am ready. It’s… a lot… Okay?”

Reluctantly, her arms loosen in defeat as she rolls her eyes, “Fine,” she drones.

To be honest, you hope to confide in LenLen as well. It’s about time you open to the people who you do trust very much. For the time being though, it’s been a few days since you last saw Jeongguk and he has been messaging you nonstop since then. You felt so bruised down there, especially when you both had intercourse the next morning before you left to go to work. Both were naked and finished brushing teeth, and you wrapped your arms around him from behind. Your breasts smooshed to his back. He couldn’t resist you after that. He lifted you up to where your legs linked around his body. The sex started rough once you reached his bed sheets but ended gently driving your mind wild. His touch is like lightning and he nearly cummed back-to-back when he saw a wet spot under you from where you released post orgasm.

You do plan to see him again, and despite the endless thoughts of him, you figure a nice walk around downtown is a good plan. Downtown is super close to the city but has a smaller string of stores. It’s a different scenery, something to keep your mind from cluttering. It’s been a few months. You don’t go as often because that’s where Hoseok would take you on special dates. You figure with his popularity rising from his newly released book, he may not be downtown as often, so you feel it’s safe to tread.

Goodness though, the way Jeongguk’s touch has encapsulated you into another dimension, you can’t stop thinking about him. Or his lips. Or his smile. Or his laugh. Or his tattoos, how beautifully they decorate his skin. The way he holds you… He’s a dream you hope to always have. Hands cuddled into your jacket pockets, the sun shining brightly in the sky, twenty minutes into entering downtown where cars slowly drive by and the ‘open’ signs flash on every window, you decide to enter one of the familiar shops you happened to pass. Life gets even stranger because when you enter what looks to be a beauty boutique, from the colors and setting you recognize it as one you and Hoseok used to frequent way back when.

“She had me come double check inventory. Just make sure we get more of the eye shadow palettes in. At least, that’s what she requested me to say.” Eyebrows scrunching, you have heard this voice before. It’s oddly quiet other than a radio playing, and your eyes trail to an employee nodding and scribbling down whatever was said. Your heart nearly stops when you see none other than Jimin talking to the employee after shifting through what looks to be a pile of mail. You debate running out of the store, but you never got Jimin’s number, and so you make it clear you really didn’t use him even though you kinda did accidentally on purpose, you make the haste decision to let him notice you. He hasn’t done anything wrong.

He spins around after checking over a few things and looks up at you when you clear your throat. The moment his eyes register who he is seeing, his face lights up. “Oh my gosh! Hey there!” Jimin out stretches his arms, pulling you into such a sweet embrace when he reaches you, and you can’t help but let the relief loosen your tense frame. You melt into him.

“Hey,” you whisper.

“How are you?” He pulls away slightly to read your eyes.

“I’m good… I’m sorry I never thought to get your number.”

“No! No, don’t apologize. I should be sorry. I don’t want you to think I’m that kinda guy.”

“Oh God, no.” You chuckle. “You are just fine.”

Jimin presses his lips together in concentration, his thumb rubbing your shoulder. “My sister had me check up on her store which is why I’m here.” He motions to his surroundings. “With the stress of inventory, I could use a drink. Wanna join?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” You say.

 -

When the strong liquid welcomes your tongue soothing your limbs once you swallow, Jimin eyes you as you twirl the liquid in the glass. The restaurant is nice and dimly lit and you are very thankful that you ran into him when you did. It makes you feel better about what happened between you two.

“I didn’t know you had a sister.” You say after a minute. Not that you ever cared to ask. “I didn’t know she owned a store.”

Jimin smiles, shrugging his shoulders. “Yeah, she’s a pain in my ass but I love her.”

“I relate on so many levels.” You chuckle, knowing Monnie would give you a look that could kill with an arched eyebrow in tow.

“Is… everything okay between us?” Jimin is curiously watching you, his expression still concerned about everything. At this point, you both have swapped numbers, promising to keep in touch. With how much your heart pines for Jeongguk, you know you won’t give in to anyone else.

“Of course, it is.” You promise. “I really mean it when I say I enjoyed your company. I just have a lot going on.”

“I understand.” He says meaningfully. “Want to talk about it?”

Considering your answer, you swallow briefly. “My ex… of three years cheated on me. Moved here a year ago.” You continue explaining how you ended up with your sister and how you were heartbroken about being stood up at the bar and how you ran into your ex and his best friend at the bar as well. All in one night. Adding that you are glad Jimin was equally attracted to you and how the distraction really helped overall.  

“Holy shit, you slept with his best friend!? You are bad ass!”

“Oh God, I’m far from it.”

“Dude, no, that’s the best way to get back at a cheater. I’m telling you. Oh, and um,” Jimin leans closer to you with a confident look, his thick lips poised in a mischievous grin, “I don’t mind you using me for whatever you want. I’m honored I got to be your first after a year of abstinence.”

You giggle, smacking his shoulder playfully. “To be honest, I’m glad it was you too. You are so sweet. I mean it. If anything, I hope we can be friends.” You reach to squeeze his hand, him running his thumb across your knuckles.

“Agreed.”

“How long ago did you and your sister move here?” You wonder aloud. “I remember you said you had been here for a long while.”

“About two years, but I am roommates with Taehyung for now. He’s pretty head over heels for his girlfriend so I’ll probably be living on my own soon.”

“That’s not bad at all,” you encourage.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure I’ll love the space, but it gets lonely sometimes… My sister lives with her current boyfriend. I’m not the biggest fan, but he’s a successful novelist. Came out with a book literally like last week.”

Your eyebrows scrunch. What? “He’s… an author?”

“Yeah… I mean he’s a good writer don’t get me wrong, but her last boyfriend… She was with him forever and she did him so dirty. I felt bad for the kid.”

“Wait a minute…” Your head is spinning. This can’t be real. Calm down, y/n, it’s all just a coincidence. You are freaking out over nothing. “Wh-who was her ex-boyfriend if you don’t mind me asking?”

He opens his mouth to reply, but his phone, that has been laying right side up on the table starts to vibrate, a picture of a smiling woman shows. “Oh, that’s my sister.” He says, “Probably calling to make sure I took care of inventory. I should take this.”

“I- I have to go anyway,” you pretend to check your wrist when really stars are showing in your eyes, because that picture. Your mouth goes immediately dry. The shirt. The way her breasts are rounded beneath that shirt. Hoseok’s shirt. The shirt that went missing. The girl in the picture… she was wearing it. She was fucking wearing it.

“Hey, Min-a.” Jimin greets into the phone, waving goodbye to you, mouthing that he will text you as you dart away. Bile rises to your esophagus burning in its wake as you rush outside to the nearest trash can. Holy shit. You can’t breathe and you gasp between heaves. Everything is crashing down as you make the connection. It’s all coming together.

You never saw her face, but you saw her torso decorated with nice breasts and Hoseok’s shirt. Jeongguk mentioned that he was cheated on too and that she was with her new boyfriend who was going over a script with an actor… His stepbrother who is none other than Kim Seokjin. Hoseok has been writing for an actor who happens to be Kim Seokjin. Jimin personally knows Kim Seokjin. Hoseok is now out with a novel. She, Jimin’s sister, owns a store downtown, a store that happens to be one that you and Hoseok used to frequent because you loved their products, but when you left him, you never went back to that specific store. Meaning… he met her there. While you two were still together. But most of all, you remember how tense Jeongguk got at the mention of Jimin… Because Jeongguk knows Jimin. And then there was the confrontation Jeongguk almost had with the guy his ex-girlfriend cheated on him with who you can’t seem to comprehend it to be:

Hoseok.

This can’t be real. No, no this can’t be fucking real. You plead to the universe, wiping your lips with your sleeve as you try to keep the next bout of nausea suppressed.

Jeongguk dated Jimin’s sister who is now with Hoseok. The girl who he cheated on you with. You heard Jimin say her name. You can hardly collect your thoughts to think her name.

Min-a.

When the nausea starts to dull just for you to regain your composure. You run. You run home and you don’t stop until you burst through the door. Monnie and Yoongi are frantic when they see you, collapsing to the floor to catch your breath while tears stream down your face, sobbing as the pain shoots through your heart. Now, you have your answer. Nobody had to tell you. You accidentally stumbled upon it yourself. At this point, seeing the devastation pouring down your face, Monnie doesn’t give you a choice, she demands the truth. As Kenai rushes to sway his furry body against your legs to calm you, you confess and tell your sister and her boyfriend everything. From beginning to end- everything.

Finally, you let every emotion out, every secret released.

-

“So, you are saying that not only did you sleep with your ex’s best friend, Namjoon. You also hooked up with your ex’s new girl’s brother and her ex-boyfriend, too!?” Monnie connecting the dots while Yoongi’s mouth drops open in alarm. “Holy cannoli, if this isn’t the best revenge story ever!”

“I wasn’t looking for revenge!” You spew.

“Not with Jimin and Jeongguk you weren’t, but you have to admit, Namjoon was definitely revenge.”

“Well Namjoon, yes.” You agree with swollen eyes. “But the rest? I had absolutely no idea they were connected.” Your palm is plastered to your forehead, and though Jeongguk has messaged you and called twice, you’ve ignored everything. You don’t know how to approach the subject. Is his ex, Min-a, who is Hoseok’s girlfriend that he left you for, is she the reason Jeongguk kept walking away from you? Why he struggled at first giving into you? Have her and Hoseok been having problems? “No wonder why Hoseok was so… shocked.” You murmur. “I thought it was because I was kissing another guy in general, but it was his girlfriend’s brother.”

“Wowza.” Yoongi shakes his head in disbelief. “I can’t comprehend it. What a small world.”

“Now it all makes sense. They all know each other.” You speak. “That’s why they’re all connected. Holy shit.”

“I definitely know Kim Seokjin. Not personally, but we’ve seen a few of his movies.” Yoongi says crossing his arms, gesturing his elbow in Monnie’s direction.

“Oh yeah, how can we not know Kim Seok-” Monnie notices Yoongi eyeballing her playfully with a quirked eyebrow and she clears her throat. “I agree. They all know each other. Jimin and Taehyung are best friends who know Kim Seokjin because he is best friends with Taehyung. Kim Seokjin also knows Jeongguk because they happen to be stepbrothers and Kim Seokjin knows Hoseok because of the movie script and novel Hoseok wrote. Also,” Monnie takes in a deep, dramatic breath. “Hoseok knows Jeongguk because Hoseok stole his girlfriend at the time, and Jeongguk knows Jimin because he dated Jimin’s sister. Am I forgetting anyone?”

“My head hurts.” You groan.

“Ah, Namjoon! He is best friends with Hoseok and since he was in the same vicinity as everyone I have mentioned, he must know everyone. I’m sure he is familiar with Jeongguk because Hoseok probably told him.”

“You’re good at this.” You blurt. “Maybe you should be a writer.”

“I’ve dabbled a time or two.” She grins, holding a finger in the air. “And that concludes your shit show of a love life.”

“Thanks.” You roll your eyes. Yet, you couldn’t concur more.

When conversation finishes with your sister and her boyfriend, you feed Kenai and give him squishy hugs and kisses while he pelts his tail at you in annoyance. You don’t care how much he prefers his food over you sometimes, you want to give him kissies and he shall accept them. There is somewhere you want to be. Need to be. You just hope he will be there.

Ordering a driver after freshening up and putting on a light amount of makeup, you throw on some tennis shoes and make your way outside. Previously you were always uncertain of the destination you were going to go. But this time, you know exactly where you are going. He will always be who you run to. Jeongguk. You haven’t stopped thinking about him since the day you met him. It has all gone by so fast, yet there is plenty of time to become more than just a thought every other second. But, neither of you can proceed until the truth is told.

The drive feels tantalizingly slow as your leg bounces profusely in the backseat until you arrive at the bookstore. You swish some mouth wash from the mini bottle in your purse as you rush to the elevator after tipping the driver, spitting it into a bush before elbowing the elevator button. Your temples beat to your increasing heart rate. Swallowing the lump forming in your throat, you recount everything. It’s time to lay it all out. No matter how risky.

Customers standing by on the third floor watch you zip past, and you try to follow your memory to Jeongguk’s door and when your feet stop before it, you inhale and exhale deeply to calm your nerves. You knock, letting your hope rise because you cannot wait to see him despite the words that haven’t been said. You hear running footsteps- and when the door opens, your breath hitches at his indescribable beauty. You see the way relief falls with his shoulders as he springs forward to hug you- pulling you into his home while the door automatically shuts behind you.

You take the time to hold him, bundling your nose into his warm chest while his hand moves to soothe into your hair. “Hey,” he whispers, placing a kiss to the top of your head. “Where have you been? I’ve been super worried.”

“I know,” you murmur, squeezing him tighter. “I know. I’m sorry… Something happened.” You hear the rustle of paws running around the living room and you can’t help but smile at the reminder of the cats. Instantly your smile falls, however, because you know a serious conversation is going to take place. Shifting to step back, so you can see the entirety of his face, he tries to read your expression. He can tell something is wrong.

“I know how you know Jimin.” You can’t help it when tears brim, especially when you see Jeongguk’s body tense. As if he is trying to protect himself from unwanted memories. From heartbreak. He remains silent. “Min-a.” Your voice is hoarse when you say her name. Jeongguk’s hands move to slide into his hair while he sucks in his lips, squeezing his eyes shut the second he registers who you just named. There’s pain in his demeanor. Pain, you know all too well. “She’s who my ex-boyfriend left me for… Hoseok.”

Disbelief, the common reaction, is all over his expression while his lips part as if to speak, but he doesn’t. “Hoseok’s not an actor…” You murmur. “He’s a writer… He knows your stepbrother because he wrote a story he wants filmed with Seokjin as the lead.” You wet your lips. “I met Jimin the day I met you. And yes… I hooked up with him the night the bar opened, but I was so emotionally distraught, I needed something. Anything to distract me because I saw Hoseok there. And his best friend. And… I was devastated that you didn’t show up.” Your fingers touch to your lips as you try to keep your composure. “I had no idea who she was until today.” You admit. “Absolutely no idea.”

“I-” Jeongguk struggles to find the words, but he steps closer to you. “I think it will take time for the shock to settle, but…” He swallows. “I never meant to hurt you that night I didn’t show up.” You feel your tears panging hot trails onto your cheeks, Jeongguk moving to cup your face to swipe the tears away with his thumbs. “I was still battling with whether I should start over with Min-a. She kept trying to reach out to see me again, and I fell for it a few times, but the second I met you.” His forehead touches to yours while you take in his warmth. “The second I met you, there was no one else I could think about. Not even her. In a fucked-up sense, I wanted closure, too. I thought…” He pauses, pulling away slightly to look into your eyes. “I thought if I gave her a chance to explain, maybe that would be enough for me to move on, but… she never showed up each time she reached out. I knew I made a huge mistake what I did to you and when you were all I continued to think about I knew… I knew it was you I ultimately wanted to be with. I’m so sorry I broke your trust. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

“No-!” You croak. “No, it’s okay. It’s really okay.” You plea through the tears. His eyes well with them too while you both try to get through this pain. Together. “You were hurting, too. We were hurt by the same people. It’s all so unbelievable, I can hardly understand it.”

“Well, if I haven’t learned anything at all, it’s that karma’s a bitch.” Jeongguk forces a chuckle, brushing a slow, warm kiss to your lips. “I won’t let him hurt you anymore.” You feel the tenderness in his caress. His promise. This time clothes make a trail on the floor to his bedroom where your bodies cling together while love is made through the night. In the end, you hope he is the man that will mend your heart the way you hope to mend his.

No more goodbyes, Cigs.

No more goodbyes.

And that will be your promise.

-

Seven months later…

“Breathe, y/n.” Jeon Jeongguk reminds you as you take in a prolonged, shaky breath. The buzzing of the needle starts to reach your skin while his gloved hands gently touch your limb. “I promise you it’s not that bad. Do you see my arm?”

“I know, Babe. But I have never done this before. Cut me some slack here.” You whine. Closing your eyes, a prick of pain starts to tingle against your skin from the sharp darts of pinches leaving traces of black ink in its wake.

“Good.” Jeongguk encourages. “See, I told you. It’s not that bad-”

He notices you wince when he gets to a different area of your wrist where he is permanently inking your ‘delicate skin’ as you have been referring. You knew you always wanted a tattoo, but it took your forever to figure out what to get. When the idea came to get an ink print of one of Kenai’s paws, you jumped to it. Jeongguk, of course, pretending to be jealous, made it clear that he better be the one who tattoos you. The shop is closed for the day, but Jeongguk being one of the main artists, he’s allowed to do tattoos on his own time, so it is just the two of you in the facility.

You are astonished at how quickly it goes by. The needle stings, but the pain is durable. It definitely is not as bad as you anticipated. It only takes Jeongguk 45 minutes to complete Kenai’s pawprint on the underside of your wrist. “Alright, take a look and tell me what you think and then I’ll apply the wrap.” He sets the needle onto the metal table next to the chair you have been sitting in, and he takes off his gloves.

The skin is red, with small dots of blood as you expected from where the needle etched the ink, but you are blown away by how brilliantly Jeongguk did with your first ever tattoo. “It’s… It’s perfect.” Your voice breaks from the tears brimming. “I love it.” You smile wide.

He chuckles, elated by your response. “I love you.” Preparing the sticky wrap, he carefully places it, afterwards pressing a kiss to your lips. “You did it.” His smile lights up your entire world as he proudly kisses you again.

“Only because of you. I wouldn’t have survived with anybody else.”

“Yes, you would have. It’s not that bad. I told you!” Jeongguk teases, waving his tatted arm in your line of vision while he points at it with his free hand.

“Fine,” you drone. “I would prefer that it be you because it’s more special. Kenai is the love of my life aside from you.” Jeongguk quirks an eyebrow. “What? He loves you, too!”

“Are you sure about that because he’s really gotten Flounder wrapped around his toe bean.”

“He’s got you, too.” You wink.

You moved in with Jeongguk a few weeks ago, adapting to the new life. So far, it’s gone rather well. He may not throw his clothes in the laundry basket, but at least he knows how to make up for it later. Wink wink. You inwardly giggle. Though LenLen was sad to see you leave, not only did Jeongguk get you a job at the bookstore, but you are the store manager which is nice because on breaks, you can just chill at home.

Home being with Jeongguk, Kenai, Flounder and Tetra. The crazy cat couple. Nothing gets better than that.

Jeongguk on the other hand has returned to tattooing. Something he is so talented at that its mind blowing. You are so grateful for how strong of a bond you two have formed since the first day you met. As far as Hoseok, him and Min-a have broken up by the whispers on the street, but you have found a way to forgive him. Especially when he reached out to apologize for how he wronged you and how none of it was your fault. How he should have known Min-a never truly wanted him, and that you are the sole reason his novel became a hit. The day he met you at the park. How you inspired it. You aren’t sure if he knows about Namjoon still, but you are glad he didn’t mention it if he does. You figure he’d tear the book to shreds at that point, but you thanked him for his apology and that you are happy with someone else. Very happy.

Jimin is a friend of you and Jeongguk to this day, but he does not speak about his sister in either presence considering her name is still an open wound. You and Jeongguk are still working on the forgiveness for her, too.

“It’s so amazing.” You awe about your tattoo once more. Jeongguk reaches to hold your other hand. “You’re so talented.”

He shrugs. “It’s a passion… Thank you for trusting me.”

Your lips pull into a gentle smile. “Always and forever.”

Leaning forward, you kiss him again and again and again and again. You love that you can trust that there will not be a goodbye from this glorious human being before you. He will always be your hello the second you wake up, the second you come home and every moment in between. “I love you,” he whispers breathless between kisses and if there weren’t cameras installed for security, you two would be making love right here in this seat.

“I love you too, Cigs.” You whisper against his mouth. “I love you so much.”

[dindjarindiaries]

How about

“Honey, have you been crying? What is it? What’s wrong?”

with everyone’s favorite Mandalorian, Din Djarin.

I dropped my phone before I could finish my message! I’m sorry it came across as short and rude. I just wanted to thank you for even considering my request and I appreciate all your work. Thank you so much again!❤️ (A/N: Not rude at all, dear - but thank you so much for adding such a sweet note!)

character: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

prompt: “Honey, have you been crying? What is it? What’s wrong?”

main masterlist • prompt masterlist

You peered through the visors that concealed the viewport once again, only to be met with the darkness of the Nevarro night. Another breath tightened your chest as the familiar needles pricked at your throat. You considered the emergency comm that you were kneading in your hand, but refused to use it.

There was no emergency, and thus no need to worry him. There was just an unprecedented loneliness.

Din and Grogu's most recent venture had run two days longer than expected, though Din had communicated that to you via holo. He had promised they would be back in two days' time, and that time had arrived. If another delay came their way, you didn't know what you would do, because you were certain you couldn't wait another minute.

The worst part was that you didn't understand why. For years, when your home was a ship and not a cabin, you were able to go even longer without seeing Din as he ventured on job after job. Now, long after the Crest's devastating fate and years spent close together...

It was just lonely.

You glanced over your shoulder at the empty cabin. Only a single light was on, casting much of the comforting space in an ominous shadow. It felt so empty without all three of you there, and it was getting unbearable. You had tried to keep yourself busy with errand-running and other tasks, but there were only so many mundane tasks you could do.

You exhaled and squeezed your eyes shut, holding the comm even tighter in your fist. It was time to come to terms with the reality that Din had faced another delay, and that you would have to sleep in an empty bed for one more night.

The prickling sensation around your throat didn't cease as you resigned yourself to your fate and prepared for bed. After all you had been through with Din, you refused to cry over something as pitiful as loneliness. Your emotions, however, didn't agree with your sentiment, and the prickling only got worse as you settled into bed.

Your cheek rested upon your pillow as you looked over at the empty half of the bed. The tightening of your throat only got worse until you had to obey its demands, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut once again as the tears fell. With the comm still nearby on your bedside table, you tried your best to sleep, and somewhere amidst your crying your body finally gave out.

It wasn't much longer until the sound of your bedroom door opening woke you up.

At first, you were alert, sitting up straightaway and nearly reaching for your blaster in the process. When you caught Din's silhouette, however, all that panic faded and was exchanged for the sweetest wave of relief.

"Din," your utterance of his name was breathless as you rose from the bed and approached him. He met you in the middle, leaving his travel pack on the floor in favor of returning your embrace. A gloved hand firmly held your back before it ran along your spine in a gesture so overwhelmingly comforting that it almost made you sob with relief into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry we were late." Din's voice was hushed, causing it to crackle through his modulator as he continued to hold on to you. He waited until you were ready to pull away.

"It's okay." You smiled as you braced your hands upon his beskar, studying every inch of his visor and taking it all in. "I'm just glad you're safe."

Din gave his helmet a fond tilt. "We were..." Din paused as he studied you in return, and his helmet straightened in severity. His chest stalled as he lifted a gloved hand to the side of your face. His thumb ran over your cheek in a slow, steady motion. "Cyar'ika, have you been crying?"

You blinked a few times at him in disbelief. Your lips parted as you sought a way to dodge his question, but if the evidence was there for him to see, then there would be no way of lying to him.

"What is it?" Din's free hand removed his helmet from his head in one swift motion before it rested on the other side of your face. His brown eyes were widened in concern as his gaze searched yours. "What's wrong?"

You exhaled, your throat tightening again—but that time, it was in embarrassment. "It was nothing serious, I promise."

Din circled his jaw as he gave you a once-over. "Anything that bothers you is serious to me." His brow wrinkled together more as his gaze found yours. "Please, let me help."

You held his wrists and offered a reassuring smile. "You already have." You gave his wrists a squeeze as he lifted an eyebrow at you. "By coming back."

Din's brow relaxed in understanding, but you still offered the confirmation he was seeking.

"I just missed you. That's all." Your voice was pitifully quiet.

Din immediately took you back into his arms. "Oh, cyar'ika, I'm so sorry. I had no idea." He rested his chin upon your head. "You can always comm me. You know that, right?"

You closed your eyes and shrugged. "I didn't want to worry you." You swallowed hard and added one more thing. "Or make you feel bad."

Din took a deep breath, and the movement took you with him. "I appreciate you thinking of me like that, but you don't have to. Especially when it comes at the sake of your own wellbeing."

You nodded and kept yourself nestled in his warmth. "Okay." You let out a sweet exhale. "But you're back now. That's all that matters."

"I am." Din kissed your head before he urged you away, gesturing with his head to the bed. "But rest also matters, too."

You huffed and shook your head at him. "Whatever you say."

Din kept you closer than usual as the two of you rested that night, bringing a relief that went beyond any words—and soothed the ache in a way only he was capable of doing.

main masterlist • prompt masterlist

[dalliansss]

There is a pause.

“In five days we will change roads,” Celegorm says. “We will proceed to Amon Ereb. I doubt Caranthir has enough stock resources in Dolmed to host what remains of our people.”

Maedhros looks at his brothers through the palantir . He trails a gold-mithril finger over the chipped rim of his cup. “No. Proceed to Nargothrond.”

“ Nargothrond? ” Celegorm repeats. “ Why ?”

“Because the Noldor took a devastating blow from Moringotto’s surprise assault,” Maedhros continues. “We have to regroup as efficiently as possible, and the more important concern is someone has to secure the Western Treasury .”

“So? Why the hell are you sending us to Nargothrond ? Ingoldo is there!”

“I do not know if you have received the intel,” Maedhros says, ignoring Celegorm’s protest. “But the first Noldorin stronghold to burn under the fire was Dorthonion. None survived. None , do you understand? Angrod, Aegnor and all of their people are lost.”

Celegorm and Curufin exchanged looks. Both briefly offer a silent bow. Their families have long splintered, but the memory of the elves are long and undimmed, and there had been a time in their faraway youths where Finrod and Angrod had joined their family for summers in Formenos. 

“Ingoldo does not take to that kind of grief well,” Maedhros says, watching his brothers through the palantir . His scarred, gaunt face betrays nothing, but both Celegorm and Curufin are painfully aware that the cogs and wheels of Maedhros’s brilliant mind are ever-spinning. “Of our family he has been among the most sheltered and most beloved. This kind of grief will break him, if he does not have the right support at the crucial time. The Noldor cannot afford to lose the wealth of Nargothrond to the orcs of Angband.”

Curufin’s lips press into a line. “Nargothrond is more than its treasures.”

Maedhros takes several sips of his wine. “Certainly, Curvo. You have been having an affair with our cousin even before the Sun and the Moon arose in the sky. Surely you would prefer to be his succor now that he has lost his two most beloved brothers. He raised Aegnor, and as good as Aegnor’s father. We cannot afford to lose Ingoldo to grief.”

Curvo’s face goes purple. True that he has done all these things, but there is something in the creepy, very calm and nonchalant way Maedhros reminds him of his…indecent acts…that makes the fifth son of Fëanor uneasy and ashamed every time.

Maedhros sets aside his cup. “Stay on your road. Take yourselves and the survivors of Himlad to Nargothrond.”

“We don’t even know where Sunshine built his Eru-forsaken realm!” Celegorm exclaims.

“Go to the Narog,” Maedhros says. “And poke into every badger-hole you can find. I am sure one of those holes will have the door to Nargothrond.” Here, his lips twitch into a hint of a smile. Then he turns to Curufin. “If Orodreth survived the chaos at Minas Tirith, he would have rejoined Ingoldo by now. That pitiful excuse for an elf is one of my main concerns why I’m sending you to Ingoldo’s side instead. Orodreth does not have Angrod’s strength and decisiveness. Ingoldo will need strength in these times. Help our cousin. Secure the Western Treasury. Ensure that the likes of Nínimben, Dúlindaer, and Trichon do not wrest power they have never deserved for themselves.”

[ashes / AO3/ Part 15 of Noldorin Finances]

[pigeonpeach]

I’ll take whats yours and make it mine~

Aka Yelan vs Pantalone

Cw: forced marriage, basically legal kidnapping, then illegal kidnapping, Yelan saves you dw, Wlw, reader is called ‘bride’, mild misogynistic themes,

-also fun fact: chinese wedding dresses are red with red veils and not white because white is the color of death in china.

To your surprise you had been arranged to marry a harbinger? It was quite a jarring experience and upsetting. You would be leaving behind everything to go to Snezhnaya, a completely different culture and completely different environment. You were devastated to say the least. You would never bee seeing your homeland again according to your father who seemed far too okay with this all. Apparently the Regator caught sight of you and decided he needed you for himself. You werent happy. You considered running away but you would be running from the Fatui. You couldn’t help but cry just thinking of the life you lead. Besides.. you were so close to finishing your degree in business. You had wanted to join the Tianquan someday. You had so much potential all to be thrown out because some man thought you were beautiful.

“Dearie, you’d never have to work a day in your life as his wife.” Your mother tried to comfort you but also persuade you to just go along with it.

“You don’t get it. I just got a letter from my friend Keqing who said Lady Ningguang would be interested in offering me a PAID internship! And dad just sold me to some bloodthristy harbinger!” You whined. You were going to miss Liyue, your friends, your dreams. Everything was over.

“Well.. to be fair we don’t really have a choice here… Pantalone is a force to be reckoned with and… we just wouldn’t be able to stand against him. My dear its better you go as his wife than as his prisoner. At least as his wife you would get some respect and agency. Now wipe your tears. We have to start preparing for your… depature.”

Today was the worst. Dawned in red with a thick veil over your face, stuffed into a carriage. Did you really have to travel in your wedding dress? Its such a long journey too.. its incredibly uncomfortable sitting for hours in such a tight garment. Worst off all your parents weren’t allowed to go, you tried not to cry in the carriage. Fatui were all around the outside, soldiers with stones for hearts it seemed as they seemed annoyed when you showed any semblance of struggle. You weren’t looking forward to being married into the Fatui whatsoever.

Then the carriage stopped. You paused. Was it time to camp already? You looked through the see through curtains, its evening. But they usually wouldn’t stop until they came across some inn or city? Your answer came in the form of gunshots ringing out, the carriage shook as the horses became spooked and rode off dragging you in the carriage with no rider it seemed. You held to the walls as you could hear the fight from afar. Who was fighting them? What was happening?

“Help! Someone? Whats going on?!” You cried out. But no one answered. The ride was bumpy, you couldnt really even know what was happening. Was it a ambush? Who would ambush you?

The carriage suddenly stopped vaulting your forward. You groaned as you made contact with the wooden wall infront of you. You could hear the fight continue as it seemed the Fatuus were losing… who could be so powerful? You noticed the carriage door was still unlocked. Now unguarded you could just… poke your head out maybe?

You did so, slightly to look out, you saw the horses were gone actually, the leashes holding them had been severed. You briefly hoped they were fine, then you heard someone approaching. You quickly closed the door hiding. If someone was powerful enough to take on that many fatui agents then you had absolutely no shot against them.

“I know you’re in there, come on out.” You heard a voice say, it sounded confident and sultry. You hesitated as footsteps got closer. Finally the door opened. A lady with short dark blue hair and a unique attire greeted you with a smug smile. “You’re quite the pretty bride, but I assume you don’t want to be here huh?” She said casually. You nodded. She offered you her hand. “I can get you out of here, and I’ll take you somewhere safer. You’ll never have to marry that harbinger.” Her voice sounded confident. She seemed to know what she was talking about. You hesitated before taking her hand. With that she helped you out. She lifted your veil, firmly removing it letting you now clearly look around without it.

“Those… were the millieth… they just let us past like that?” You were a bit surprised as you were led to a hotel room.

“Darling, I’m not just some robin hood stealing from the Fatui, I’m a secret agent.” She said as she helped you change out of your dress. You were blushing as you undressed with your back to her, covering your body. “I heard he was forcing some young lady to marry him and I decided to intervene. I assure you, you will be safe here. I have plenty of strings here to pull. So needless to say, you’re under the Tianquan’s protection now. You can relax.” Her words were so soothing… you felt so flustered. She’s so beautiful too. Who would’ve known you would be saved by someone like her? The lord of Geo must have heard your prayers.

“T-thank you… I-i cannot thank you enough!” You say as she hands you a new uniform. Your eyes widen as you realize its a uniform worn by the assistants of Lady Ningguang. “W-what but this is…”

“Your cover. You’re going to hide out in the Jade Chamber for a bit. You see, Lady Ningguang owes me a favor or two.. and I asked if I could house you temporarily in the Jade Chamber. One of the most secure locations in all of Liyue. No one will ever suspect you’re there. Of course you’ll be out to work but if I remember correctly that’s what you wanted yes?”

“W-wait.. you arranged all this for me? Why?” You asked. You finished putting on your uniform as you turned to her. She smiled.

“Well.. I couldn’t let a pretty face like yours be wasted on that banker. Jewels like yourself deserve better than to be treated like a trophy. I’ve always like taking from him too. And I’ve actually had my eye on you too.” Her voice was so sweet, like candy. You felt like you were being lured into a trance almost, sitting on the bed blushing as she folded up your dress. “I assure you, I’ll be taking good care of you~” she said with a wink.

“WHAT?!” Pantalone’s hands tore the report in half as his underling trembled.

“They did everything possible yet the bandit made it out with the bride.” The underling said nervously.

“I heard you the first time.” He said seething. “What I want to know is how incompetent were those agents that ONE pesky agent could work through their defenses and make off with MY bride!” Pantalone sat back down, his legs crossed as he attempted to regain his composure.

“We’re working to identify the thief but there’s no clues. We could only find the veil.”

“Must I go down there myself to find them? What are you doing standing around here anyways, shoo. Go tell them to keep searching and send out more investigators. I paid good money for that bride so either I’ll have them or I’ll have you sent to Dottore’s Laboratory!” Pantalone hissed. Immediately the underling bowed and left. He groaned as he sat in his chair.

“You’re not going to win this game, you pesky woman.” He hissed

[nobedofroses]

October 1st

pairing: Din Djarin x gn!reader

warnings: suspense

words: 709

a/n: decided pretty last minute to do this, but here is day 1! I would not call this kinktober but I am planning to post everyday this october with a range of different types of prompts but starting with Strange Noise from this list by @raven-cincaide-words (it's on there as day 25, but since I'm using multiple lists, everything's out of order). Excited to get started, hope you enjoy! Directory

🎃🎃🎃

It started when you were asleep. The sound woke you slowly at first. You stirred out of a dream that involved a strange creature in the distance, moving and making a sound. A sound that sounded vaguely familiar but that you couldn’t place. 

Then you woke and the sound was still there. It startled you. You weren’t used to unidentifiable sounds in the little structure that you, Din, and Grogu were living in. It was small enough that you were familiar with every single sight, feel, smell, and sound in it. But not this one. 

Heart beating quicker, you reached out for Din in the dark. His strong arm was warm under your hand and you squeezed it a couple times, wanting him to wake quickly but quietly, just in case. 

Din woke up quicker than you. He always did after years hunting and never letting his guard completely down. Normally, you were glad that he felt like he could with you and Grogu, able to even remove his armor for comfort like sleep. But now you wanted the hunter, the man that would protect you and Grogu from anything that could come your way. 

“What is it?” Din asked, moving close so he didn’t have to speak above a whisper. 

“Do you hear that?” you paused, letting him listen. 

You couldn’t see his face in the dark, but you could picture his expression. Brows furrowed, eyes squinting in concentration, and the firm line of his mouth. 

“It’s inside. Clearly it doesn’t know we’re here or it would be less loud. I’ll take care of it,” Din told you, shifting slowly to grab his helmet on the bedside table. Always there, security and safety in one gleaming piece of beskar. 

In seconds, Din was walking through the doorway with helmet and gauntlets on. You were standing as well, planning to walk behind Din to Grogu’s room so you could ensure the little one’s safety. Behind Din so he could act as your shield. His words. 

The two of you parted in the hallway and you rushed into Grogu’s room as Din rushed to the noise. As your eyes fell to the empty little bed, your heart fell out of your chest as you finally realized what the sound had been. Eating. 

One second before you fell to your knees in despair, Din’s voice called out, “He’s in here!” 

You were in the kitchen the very next second, ready to do anything to save Grogu. But a very different, much less devastating sight was before you than you expected. 

Grogu was standing, completely unharmed, in front of the conservator and surrounded by half eaten and strewn-about food. He must have had a bite of everything you had in there. He was covered in something sticky and the crumbs that had stuck to that, but none of that mattered as you scooped him up into your arms and hugged him close. 

“Oh thank goodness you’re okay,” you breathed, heart rate slowing down for the first time in several minutes. 

“He’s covered in food. He ate everything,” Din countered, although his tone was more tired than frustrated. 

“You must be going through a growth spurt, huh? Are you still hungry or should we clean you up and get back to bed?” you asked the little green child blinking up at you. 

He made one of his cooing sounds and you knew it was a sleepy one. So you said, “Alright, a quick wash-up right after you move all this stuff to the waste bins. Din, I can take care of him if you want to go back to sleep.” 

Grogu waved a hand over your shoulder, moving everything to the correct bin in seconds. Din watched the movement before responding, “No, I’ll do a security check then join you.” 

You nodded with a small smile, knowing that even something harmless like this set off his protective instinct and let him do what would help him go back to sleep peacefully while you did what would help you. You turned your attention back to Grogu, “Let’s get you cleaned up. And while we do, we can talk about what you should do if you get hungry in the middle of the night again.”

🎃🎃🎃

[strlingsav]

Yo…your last fic was brutal. I had to stop and back up coz immediately after the smut was pain! No prefaces or even a segue on what’s about to happen. It choked me up with the suddenness of it all.

Smut..fluff..more smut..more fluff..MOTHERFUCKING PAIN!!! 🤯😱🫢😭😭😭

Please, please, please…bring him back. Give us fluff and butterflies. Maybe he can survive, just a damaged but is able to come home to reader, he can heal and with those injuries, maybe retire and live in peace with reader? Maybe even have a bun in the oven waiting for him? Just heal us pleaseeeee! Anything will do, please!! 😭😭😭

(But only if you’re willing, of course.)

Thank you for the love, the smut, and the shared pain (coz I’m sure that also hurt you too). Just..thanks. 💕

Ugh of course I'll indulge this bc one I love you for being so sweet and two because I'm an absolute whore for happy endings. 🥺🤍 The first is here.

Endings: Two

– Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Explicit/gory content under the cut. Read at your own risk.

"L.T.," A voice was hazy and distant in Simon's ear- miles away, but he could see the outline of a figure before him.

He didn't have the energy to respond. He wanted nothing more than to give in to his body's demand to sleep, to rest. The dopamine firing in his brain, coursing through his veins, kept him subdued, peaceful, even.

"Up you get, Sir." There was a short pause, followed by radio static, "We're on our way out, evac standby."

Simon grunted as he was lifted from the ground, the shift in his weight caused a growl to come from his swollen lips.

"Steamin' bloody Jesus. You look like hell."

Simon could register the voice, now. It was Johnny. The Sergeant had found him in the wreckage, he'd survived.

Simon could hardly muster a 'fuck off', settling for a haphazard groan of displeasure.

Simon carried on, regardless of the pain in his chest, in his thigh, the throbbing in his skull now making him fully aware of the injuries to his person.

"Need a medic down here!"

Simon felt his body transfer to a spineboard, not without a loud yowl of pain, watching his feet as he was carried toward another helicopter prepped for evac.

Soap jogged beside him, his hand helping carry Simon's weight. The fog hadn't yet lifted, still blurry and half-awake, Simon could hardly comprehend where he was headed.

"You'll be alright, Sir. We'll take care of ya. Hang on, wouldya?"

He was relieved and devastated at the same time. He'd already made his peace with dying, he'd agreed to the terms his body set, the serenity that had almost cradled him to his grave- but you, damn you, forced him to hold on. Damn you, for settling into his mind and making it your home. For being the only thing he could think of, rely on to keep him hopeful, as he was carried onto the helo.

—

You received the call while at home, nearly dropping the plate in your hands when you heard the Doctor on the other end tell you Simon had been admitted with traumatic injuries.

You drove to the hospital, disregarding every speed limit and stop sign, thrumming your fingers against the steering wheel impatiently at every red light, watching the road through blurry, swollen eyes.

When you'd made it through the maze of hallways, finally finding Simon, he was asleep. He was on a ventilator, his skull bandaged where they'd pieced it back together once the swelling had gone down.

His eyes had been taped shut after surgery to aid in the repair of the severed retina, a white cast over the broken femur he'd endured.

You hardly recognized him through the swelling on his face. He wasn't the same- not the strong, solid man you'd said goodbye to a month ago.

You were sure it was a joke, a prank he'd pulled to keep you on your toes, but that wasn't like him, and a month in, you knew it was your new reality. He was lucky to be alive- so the doctor said.

The extent of his injuries meant physical therapy, a lot of it. The idea made you cringe, if he ever woke up, he'd fight like hell against it.

Despite feeling so completely overjoyed that he'd made it this far, survived this much, there was a part of you that knew there was a long journey ahead. A journey that would mean sleepless nights, emotional support, physical support.

You were dreading it. It seeped into you, like a bird of prey, it dug its claws into you. It only got worse.

A cycle of grief and anger, missing him- his voice, his eyes- so badly your breath caught in your throat every time you looked at him, looked at the broken man lying helplessly in the hospital bed- but also resenting him for putting you in that position.

Turning you into a caretaker, the solid foundation for the both of you while you almost lost the most important man in your life.

You couldn't help but feel the guilt eating away at you- how fucked up it was to think of yourself during a time when Simon might never wake up.

But you persevered, pushed past the dread in the pit of your stomach, and waited at his bedside with sharp eyes.

Day and night, you'd settle in, sleeping with a thin throw-blanket you stole off the couch and an old pillow. You'd wear his T-shirts and sweaters, just for a hint of familiarity, a semblance of your old life, his smell.

You'd hold his hand, even when you knew he couldn't feel a damn thing. You'd talk to him, tell him about your day- regardless of the fact that he didn't hear you at all.

Most nights, you'd sob under the disguise of the heart monitor and thrum of the ventilator. You'd grieve the man you loved. Whether he was dead or not, he would never truly be Simon Riley again. You'd learn to love the new man he'd be, you were sure of it, but your heart had been caged in, trapped under the weight of his unrecognizable form.

He had woken up after a few months, to which you celebrated with vibrating happiness. You tried not to smother him with affection. Instead, you gave him his space as he took in his surroundings, began to somewhat understand what exactly had happened.

You sat down, reaching for Simon's hand, and you felt him squeeze down. For the first time in months, he'd responded to your touch.

You stared up at him, your eyes welling with tears, your heart racing in your chest, pounding against your rib cage. A tidal wave of relief washed over you.

"Baby," You whispered, moving closer, kneeling next to him. "Simon."

His voice was muffled, panic filling his eyes as he realized he had an E.T. tube down his throat. You kept him calm, calling for the nurses immediately, watching with worried eyes as they extubated him.

He coughed, settling back into bed as he turned his head to look at you. Then, he whispered your name. Strangled and hoarse, rough with phlegm.

You could feel a shiver down your spine. You took a deep breath in, bowing your head to rest on his arm as your chest was racked with sobs. It was nearly impossible to control.

"God, Simon," You sniffled, your face tilting to look up at him. "Thank God," You cried, burying your face in his shoulder.

His doctor didn't want you to get your hopes up- he didn't want you clinging to the idea of Simon's recovery.

"We're not entirely certain what his brain function is like at this point, he'll need a CT. He may not ever remember his accident, and might even have trouble recognizing his surroundings." His doctor was resolute- harsh, not wanting to lead you on with false promises and hopeful ideations.

Your eyes had been swollen for months, and after finally coming to terms with his situation, they were dry and irritated.

You pursed your lips, entirely unsatisfied with the answer but defeated.

"Thank you," You forced a polite smile, turning on your heel, back to Simon's bed.

—

His physical therapy had been going well.

The cast had come off, and you finally recognized your boyfriend after the swelling went down. He was there, real, whole again- mostly.

You'd been woken up by his terrifying shouts and screams for help multiple times a night. It didn't subside, not until you wrapped your arms around him and quieted him down. You weren't sure if he knew, or if he wanted to hide behind the facade of sleep to save himself from embarrassment.

He had difficulty remembering the accident in its entirety, only remembering how difficult it was to move, to get up. He recalled the pain well, regardless of just how hard his body worked to keep him sedate. On the rare occasions he spoke about it, he'd never forget Soap. Never forget the voice he heard, urging him to stay awake, to get up.

You knew you couldn't thank Johnny enough, couldn't make it up to him in anyway that would equate to what he did for you and Simon. Anytime you brought it up, he'd shut you down, and Simon didn't speak about it either. Not unless provoked.

It was a memory he pushed down, as deep as he could, locking it away in the same vault where he kept every other long-living secret.

You knew better than to push him on it. You wanted to be there for him so badly, to tell him how happy you were that he was okay, alive, but you didn't. You gave him his space until he asked otherwise, which usually came in the form of a simple kiss, a hand on your waist, a quiet 'love you' when he passed by you.

You could never figure out why he'd suddenly started telling you he loved you more often, but you didn't question it.

—

When you missed your period, missed the cramps starting a few days before, the blinding headache at the start of the week, you realized your intimate exchange before his deployment may have had an unintended effect. Despite contraception, you had a feeling something was different- wrong.

You were pregnant. Two solid, indisputable red lines, staring you in the face. A happy face, on another, with a plus sign. It was real, concrete. Part of you didn't want to tell Simon- you wanted it to go away. But, against your judgment, you did.

It was late, finishing the day with a shower together as usual.

You were starting to show- not enough that he'd notice, especially not with the turmoil in his head. Though, while he scrubbed across the flesh of your stomach, a soapy loofa leaving bubbles and foam behind, the grin on his face when you stood on your toes to kiss him; it was the right time.

"I'm pregnant," You blurted out, your hands falling to your sides.

You avoided his gaze and silence fell between you, the running shower louder than ever, accompanied by your jugular pounding in your throat.

He looked shocked, confused, terrified- all in a series of minutes.

"Trust me, I know it's not ideal. It's not good timing. I know you're still healing and we're just getting things back together. I'm sorry."

He took a moment, his rough hand pressing against the small bulge in your stomach.

"How long have you known?" He asked.

"A few weeks." You swallowed.

"How far along?"

"Three months."

The tension was undeniable, holding your breath for the moment he told you he couldn't do it, didn't want it.

Instead, his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

"My kid's in there," He breathed, his arms squeezing you gently. "You're havin' a kid. We're havin' a kid."

You smiled softly against his shoulder. Now, you could be excited. You didn't have to feel guilty for holding it back, or for carrying another 'burden' inside you. You could celebrate. The baby, another milestone in your life with Simon, normalcy returning.

"We are," You breathed, leaning back to hold his face in your hands. "I love you," You said gently- a fact, a statement with every ounce of truth to it.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

He'd tell you one day that during his accident, all he could think about was you- that he wanted to fight to be alive for you. But for now, he settled for telling you he loved you, every chance he got.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Drugged Hero Whumpee used as Party Favor at Villain's Party part 4

Warnings: drugged sedation, torture, blood, severe whump/intimate whump, restraints

Archenemy patted Shadow's cheek condescendingly. "Looks like you're in over your head!" He teased mockingly, voice laced with hate and hidden danger.

"...Pick... a hell... and rot there..." Shadow croaked, her voice no more than a choked rasp of air.

Archenemy smiled, a cruel type of smile that had a razor-sharp edge to it, as his hand moved to stroke her neck, lingering on her terrified, racing pulse. "Tough words for someone so... scared," he taunted.

Shadow's whole body trembled with pain, and if she weren't in so much agony she would have loved nothing more than to crush the man's face in.

"What... do you want...?" Shadow wheezed uselessly.

Archenemy leaned over her, voice dropping to a dangerous whisper that no one else could hear. "You know exactly what I want," he rumbled, chest vibrating.

He was right. Shadow DID know what he wanted. He'd been chasing after a powerful secret for years that would give him similar abilities to Shadow herself, and she had foiled him at every turn. "...You'll never... get that..." She hissed through gritted teeth.

"Oh, you know me better than that. I have all the right ways to get what I want in the end," Archenemy laughed dryly. "And I think you'll be the one to give it to me," he added quietly with a barbed smile.

"...Never..." Shadow growled through the pain.

Archenemy only chuckled patiently, like a parent scolding a child. "I think you will... if you want to get out of here and end your pain."

Shadow paused at that, confused, trying to read his expression through the fuzzy haze. "What... are you saying...?"

"I'm saying that if you tell me the secret I'm after... I'll get you out of here. You have my word."

Shadow could hardly believe her ears. Her greatest enemy, offering a lifeline... an escape... at the cost of the most dangerous secret in the world, the one she'd spent so much energy keeping. She knew it could be a trap, and Archenemy could leave her there to suffer and perish even if she kept her end of the bargain... but she couldn't take it. She was in so much pure, raw agony... she'd do anything to make it stop... even if it meant the whole city might burn one day.

Selfishly, perhaps, to make such a risky sacrifice... but she couldn't take any more pain.

Archenemy's wicked smile broadened. He could see from the helpless devastation etched into her face that he'd won. He leaned his ear down to her mouth expectantly, and after a moment of hesitation... Shadow gave him the most powerful knowledge in existence, whispered in broken breaths of air drenched with pain.

Archenemy finally pulled away with a satisfied smirk, eyes glittering coldly, full of malicious, greedy intent. "And to think it was right in front of me this whole time," he muttered to himself in disbelief.

"I gave you... what you wanted... now please... help... me..." Shadow slurred weakly.

Archenemy shifted her off his lap, and Shadow's gut twisted, thinking he wouldn't keep his promise... that he'd leave her to be brutally tortured and mauled even further... but then Archenemy reached into his pocket, pulling out a little black device in his hand that he held up with a wolfish expression on his face, locking eyes with Shadow.

"I... am good to my word." Archenemy pressed a single button... and all the lights in the mansion went dark at all once, plunging the party into chaos.

⏪️ Back Next ⏩️

Masterlist

[thefrogdalorian]

Pieces

Word Count: 3046 Rating: Teen Summary: Your worst fears are almost realised when Din returns from his latest job with the New Republic injured and distressed. Despite your emotions, you diligently tend to his wounds and put his pieces back together. Content Warnings: Descriptions of blood/injuries, mentioned violence against children and non-sexual nudity. Author's Note: Well I got back from my trip late last night and I just needed to get this thing out of me today. I had a great time seeing my friends but man I missed sitting down and writing!! This was meant to be way softer but it went a bit dark with the descriptions of what Din saw, oops. Anyway, I just love writing someone taking care of this poor, stressed man. He deserves everything and I want to squeeze him tightly and rub his scalp just like reader in this fic.

Link to read on AO3

Your heart constricted as you gazed at the torn flesh and thick red liquid that streaked a terrible path down Din’s unusually pale face. The cut just above his eye was, mercifully, not too deep; although, there was still a considerable amount of blood that was flowing from it, disturbed by the Bacta wipe that you had carefully dabbed over the scab that had formed during the hours Din had spent cooped up in a cockpit while returning from his latest job with the New Republic. You shook your head slightly as you took him in, a gesture borne out of both your gratitude that he had not suffered more serious harm and your annoyance that he had even been in such a position in the first place. 

Despite your shaky hands as you clasped the wipe tightly between your fingers, you were trying to project calmness for Din. It was proving an increasingly difficult task, given the distressing thoughts that were currently racing through your mind. You knew things could have been worse than just a few superficial cuts and bruises and that you should be grateful above all else. But what if Din had never made it home and instead you had been greeted by the sight of a New Republic pilot in distinctive orange uniform, standing at your door to impart the worst possible news and send your world tumbling down around you in the process? You tried to focus on the task at hand. But it was a dark thought that your brain seemed determined to constantly remind you of, sending a pang of sickness to the pit of your stomach each time. 

You had already cleaned several smaller cuts with a Bacta wipe, but now you focused your attention on the largest of them all. It was an angry red mark situated just above Din’s left eyebrow. The sight of it caused your heart to constrict once again at the reminder of the pummelling Din had taken. He was no stranger to physical altercations, that much you knew, but judging by the scant details he had provided you with before you had started treating him, he had been lucky to escape the planet with his life. 

You paused your ministrations temporarily; Din looked at you before swiftly averting his gaze once you met it. But you had locked eyes long enough to notice that his brown eyes were misty with an emotion you could not quite place. Din looked embarrassed, apologetic and scared all at once–you wanted to gather him tightly into your arms and never allow him to leave your sight again. He looked so small, so childlike… as though he was just a scared little boy who had taken a beating, not a grown adult man with broad shoulders and a hulking frame that intimidated most people he encountered, with a reputation as a formidable former bounty-hunter. The part of you that urged to hold him tightly was warring with the other part of you that wanted to scream at him until you were blue in the face, furious at how reckless he had been. 

Did he not realise how utterly devastated you would be if something happened to him? How lost and afraid Grogu would be? The two of you relied on him so much. You loved him so much… your lives would never be the same if something terrible happened to him. You had been lucky this time that the injuries looked far more serious than they actually were. 

Despite how long you had had to adjust to the shock, you could still feel your heart pounding deep inside your chest. Your body had not recovered from the shock of the first glimpse of Din standing there, just standing inside your cabin, having freshly removed his helmet to reveal a sickening array of cuts and bruises that littered his handsome face. Your mouth was dry and it felt like you had a mouthful of Tattooinian sand stuck to your tongue; your pulse boomed in your ears as you finished wiping the cut with trembling fingers.

A natural medic, you were not. But the sight of the man you adored in pain had sent you striding towards the cupboard where Din’s Med kit was stored without hesitation, despite his protestations from behind you that he could take care of himself. You knew that Din was more than capable of tending to his own wounds. After all, he had spent so much of his adult life alone. But that fact did not mean he needed to be a martyr anymore, especially now that he had you.

Din had placed an already-asleep Grogu in his room before he returned to the kitchen and gingerly lowered himself onto a chair at the table while you prepared the materials you would need to care for him properly. Fortunately, you were well stocked-up with Bacta. Its healing properties were infamous across the galaxy. Although it was a precious commodity, with an accompanying hefty price tag, it was a vital resource for someone with as physically demanding a job as Din.

Din had been brave throughout the entire process, but now that you were finally treating the largest and deepest of the myriad cuts he had obtained, the steely mask was starting to slip. Your chest ached as you noticed a single tear streak its way down his cheek, mixing with the thick red blood that had already settled there.

“Din…” You whispered, tenderly cupping his stubbly cheek in your hand. Din further squeezed shut his already closed eyes and exhaled shakily. “I’m almost finished.”

He weakly nodded as you grabbed a Bacta patch from the Med Kit on the table and carefully took it from its wrapping. Din sharply inhaled as you placed it over the sensitive wound, the injury still clearly troubling him despite the careful attention you had focused on the appalling cut.

“There we go. That should get to work quickly,” You offered, despite knowing that Din had far more intimate knowledge of what healing from wounds entailed than you could ever hope to possess. 

Din nodded and opened his eyes slowly. But there was no warmth in those brown eyes you loved so much. They were glassy, pained; the crinkles around Din’s eyes and the wrinkles lined his forehead seemed deepened and more drawn than usual, too. A legacy of the agonising ordeal.

“Thank you,” Din whispered. His ordinarily strong, firm voice was now quiet and shaky. 

Any desire you had to lecture Din about how reckless he was for endangering himself and remind him of how terrified you were of losing him, was extinguished in an instant. The sight of him before you, broken and subdued had refocused your priorities. The time to discuss the nature of Din’s work and how much it concerned you would come. But, for now, the most important thing was to put the pieces of Din that had clearly been shattered by whatever ordeal he had just experienced back together. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” You gently asked, simultaneously not wanting to pry but likewise to give him the opportunity to discuss his feelings. 

Din nodded slowly. You reached out and placed your hands on his large hands, stroking them lightly and feeling the soft flesh and dark hairs beneath your fingertips. 

“Okay, Din,” You breathed, “I’m here.”

“I was tracking a target on Numidian Prime. He was accused of smuggling weapons for Imperial remnants. It’s a forest planet, plenty of undergrowth for us to hide in,” Din explained, his eyes focused on your joined hands as he struggled to make eye contact. “I thought things would be over relatively quickly. I was gathering intelligence and preparing to strike later. Until… I saw where he was heading.”

“He was armed to the teeth with the weapons. I was supposed only to watch him, but then I saw him approaching a village. It was a tiny settlement, surrounded by plants on all sides. They would have been defenceless… they had no warning. I wasn’t supposed to intervene, the guy was known to be lethal. But, cyare… there were…” Din squeezed his eyes shut again. “There were children, playing outside the huts. I left Grogu in a safe spot, sealed in his pod. Then I went after them. The kids… I had to try and save them,” Din’s voice was quivering now. His eyes flew open, meeting yours. The look in them was chilling: haunted by the sights he had seen. “I was too late,” Din finished the terrible account of affairs. His brown eyes were staring through you, distant. 

“Oh, Din,” You whispered, tears forming in your own eyes at his distress.

“After he… had finished with them, he turned around and saw me. I underestimated how well equipped he was. All I could do was turn and run. I got away by a hair’s breadth. Grogu did his best but… my injuries were more than his little body could cope with. What if he had pushed his powers too far? What if it was him in that village?”

“Din, listen to me,” You said firmly, surprised at the strength of your voice. Din’s eyes widened and his eyebrows raised in shock. You grabbed his face in your hands again and stroked his cheeks carefully. “Neither of those things happened. Grogu is safe, sleeping soundly in his cot. Despite the risk you took, you did the right thing. But there was absolutely nothing you could have done. He was an evil man who was hellbent on destruction. He did a terrible thing to innocent people. You are a good man, you tried your best to stop him," You paused, searching Din's face to gauge whether your words were resonating with him. Din nodded slowly in response, so you continued: "But you cannot fix everything in the galaxy. Evil is always going to exist. Thank the Force that the worst did not happen, you got to come home to your home, to your family. I love you so much and Grogu does too. What we would do without you… well, I don’t know. Every time you leave… I fear you will never return. That thought terrifies me. I don’t want to lose you”

Din’s eyes squeezed shut again, tears freely flowing down his cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you,” He sniffled. 

“I know, I know,” You soothed, wiping the tears with your thumbs. “Look, it’s been a long day. Let's get you cleaned up in the fresher, then we should get some rest.”

You were both fearful of Din upsetting himself further with such fresh injuries and mindful of the fact he still wore his beskar’gam. Luckily, your gentle suggestion was met with a small nod. You took his gloveless hands and pulled him to his feet, leading him to the fresher.

Din’s hands were shaking and he was struggling with his vambraces. The clasps that he had fastened and unfastened countless times as part of the solemn daily routine of attaching his beskar’gam as a proud Mandalorian were proving problematic after his ordeal.

“Let me,” You said softly, your fingers moving to the clasps to assist him. You moved to his shoulder pauldrons and carefully removed his bandolier and belt before turning your attention to his chest plate. Din nodded in gratitude before he moved to remove the various pieces that remained, now able to move more freely with the top half of his body unencumbered by the heavy, restrictive armour.

While Din removed the final pieces of his armour, you removed your own garments, before you stepped into the shower and turned the jets to the hottest and most powerful settings. The curtain rustled slightly as Din joined you, his body now completely bared to you.

The sight of Din undressed never ceased to take your breath away. His broad shoulders, toned body and waist were certainly a feast for your eyes. But after the arduous day you had endured, there was no sensual element provoked by your nude forms in close proximity. 

You took the sponge from the shelf in the shower and ran it under the jets, before lathering it with Din’s favourite scented soap. You motioned for him to step closer and he tentatively approached. Din positioned himself under the hot jets, his broad back facing you. You ran the sponge over the expanse of his tan skin, which had mercifully regained its colour compared to how pale he had looked as you began treating his injuries, watching in awe as his shoulders visibly relaxed. The tension and knots visible in the muscles beneath his skin dissipated with each careful brush of the sponge across his soft skin.

Din sighed deeply, clearly appreciating your ministrations. You were grateful that you could bring him some comfort after everything he had been through. He turned to face you slowly, until he was now facing you. His eyes had regained some of their vibrancy and his face seemed less haunted. Emboldened by how much your touches had seemingly helped Din to regain his spark, you paid similar care to his front, careful to avoid wetting the Bacta patch you had placed on the cut above his eyebrow.

"Turn around and tilt your head back," You instructed, intending to wash Din's hair. 

Din complied and you reached for the bottle on the shelf. You squeezed the bottle and the thick, sweet-smelling product he used for his hair emptied into your palms. You rubbed your hands together, creating a lather before you reached your hands into his curls. You ensured the product was evenly spread throughout his hair and raked your nails across his scalp, just the way you knew he liked it.

“Thank you, cyare,” Din practically purred.

“You’re welcome,” You replied, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek as he turned to face you once more.

You went to shut off the water but Din’s hand flew out. He gently grabbed your wrist to prevent you from stopping the hot jets raining down on you.

“No, now let me take care of you. Turn around,” Din whispered. 

“Din, it’s fine–” You started.

“No,” Din’s low voice cut you off. “You’ve taken care of me enough today. Now it’s my turn to return the favour.”

You rolled your eyes and affectionately scoffed as you complied with his demand. But such a flippant response was soon replaced by a deep, blissful sigh as Din began to take care of you. For such a hulking man who had undergone extensive training as a ruthless warrior he was achingly gentle at times. Din dutifully washed your body, even using his enormous hands to massage your shoulders. Once satisfied with his handiwork, he shut the jets off and grabbed your hand, leading you to the fluffy towels you had placed on the counter.

As the two of you towelled yourselves off, you glanced over at Din and were relieved to see the shift in his demeanour. No doubt the harrowing, emotional sights of the day would take longer to heal than the physical wounds he had sustained. But at least he seemed calmer and closer to the man who had left your cabin for the fateful job on Numidian Prime just a few days ago. Din yawned as he dressed in the soft cotton garments he wore to sleep in and you were grateful that he seemed tired enough to rest.

Din took your hand carefully and you walked together into your room, clambering between the soft sheets of your cot. Din moved to pull you into him, the position you usually took up while sleeping. But you shook your head to stop him.

“Let me hold you,” You whispered into Din’s ear, placing another soft kiss on his cheek. Din nodded and rolled over, his back facing you. 

You buried your nose into the short, dark brown curls that lay at the nape of Din’s neck, inhaling his familiar scent as your arms squeezed him tightly, hands joined on his stomach as his larger hands came to rest on yours.

You turned the light off and were about to open your mouth to say goodnight Din’s deep voice rumbled next to you.

“That was my last job with the New Republic,” Din whispered decisively into the darkness. "I won't put you through it anymore. I'm sorry for putting you through it for so long."

You silently thanked Maker that he had reached this decision without need for a grand screaming match where you had to talk sense into him. Din Djarin was not a reckless man when it came to his loved ones. He cared deeply about others. It was precisely that compassionate side of him that you had first fallen for. But it was also the side of him that had come so close to costing you everything.

"Thank you, Din," You said gratefully. "I love you. It has been unpleasant, all the uncertainty. But I will always be here to put you back together, should you ever need me to."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you. I love you more deeply than I ever thought possible," Din said, bringing your hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it softly.

"You deserve everything nice and all the love in this galaxy, Din Djarin," You replied sincerely as you squeezed him tightly.

"Goodnight, cyare," Din said sleepily. The combination of your tight embrace and words had the desired effect and he was already beginning to drift off into slumber.

"Goodnight, Din," You hummed.

You lay there for a few more minutes, feeling completely at peace. You knew that the man that you loved was safe in your arms, content and relaxed about the future.

There would be no more stressful periods of waiting around for Din to return from jobs ahead. No more fearing what terrible sight would greet you when he walked through the door. Din had survived this ordeal without grave injury. The worst had not happened. The worst was not going to happen.

You had a life to look forward to together, yet you were not naive enough to believe that a life with Din Djarin would be a simple one. 

Still, you knew you would always be there to put Din's pieces back together. 

[insecure-neurotic-control-freak]

Teen Wolf Movie: Post Credits Scene

Obviously the below is not a real post credits scene... just me needing to air my frustration somehow.  I did not watch the Teen Wolf movie, and now have no intention to.  I got all my information from seeking out spoilers online so I'd know if it was worth the watch.  Felt the need to write this because my soul hurts.  Apologies if I got some minor details wrong from the movie, but I'm not fussed about being canon compliant when the canon doesn't deserve to be complied with ;)

Eli is woken from a fitful sleep by the sound of his bedroom window sliding open.  He doesn’t turn his head to identify the intruder, completely uncaring if they are there to hurt him or console him.  It wouldn’t matter.  Not anymore.

He wonders briefly if Scott or Allison would be able to make it to his room before he was fatally injured by the potential assailant, then closes his eyes in defeat when he remembers they’re not home.  They’re never home anymore.

“Hey, pup.”

Eli shoots into a sitting position at the sound of Stiles’ voice.  He catches a flash of a red hoodie and finds himself all but collapsing into the arms suddenly surrounding him.  The sounds he is making aren’t human and his breath is coming in rough spurts, but he finally, for the first time since his dad’s death, feels completely safe in Stiles’ embrace.  Safe enough to fall apart.

Stiles offers no empty words of comfort or platitudes, simply holds the boy in his arms.  Once Eli regains his breath, Stiles pulls back just enough to see Eli’s face and speaks again.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that,” he says, brushing some hair off of Eli’s forehead so he can see his eyes.

Eli sniffles and wipes the tears off his face.  

“He’s gone, Stiles,” he whispers hoarsely. 

Stiles pulls them to their feet and wraps his arms around Eli’s shoulders.  They take comfort in the embrace for several more minutes.  Eli’s eyes water, but no more tears fall.

“Eli, buddy, look at me,” Stiles says as he takes a step back, towards the open bedroom door.  He waits until Eli looks up before continuing.  “Do you trust me?”

The boy can only nod, not trusting his voice.

Stiles sends him a rueful smile and holds out his hand.  He leads Eli downstairs and out the door, huffing a laugh when he sees the Jeep parked in the driveway.

“How’s Roscoe doing these days?” Stiles asks as he runs his hand over the hood.

Eli clears his throat twice before he can answer.  “Okay.  Da - Dad fixed as much as he could.”

He sees a brief look of devastation overtake Stiles’ face before they climb in, but it’s gone as Stiles holds out his hand for the keys.  Stiles frowns when Eli simply points to the visor above the driver’s seat, and sends him a well-deserved eye roll when the keys drop into his lap from above when he opens it.

They drive in silence until they reach their destination.  It only takes Eli a few minutes to realize where they’re headed, but he says nothing.  Stiles asked for his trust, and he has it.  He’s always had it.

When they park, Eli exits the car on shaky feet.  He can’t bring himself to look up and see his dad’s grave only a few yards away.

“Why are we here?” He asks quietly.

Stiles braces himself, taking several deep breaths before responding.  “There’s something I didn’t tell you or your dad before I left after my last visit.  I,” he pauses and take a few steps towards Derek’s grave.  “I had a - a feeling.”

Eli moves to stand next to Stiles, still not looking at the grave.  “A feeling?”

Stiles sniffles and Eli realizes he’s trying not to cry.  Stiles coughs roughly and wipes at his face, turning it so Eli can’t see the tears.

“A feeling,” he repeats.  “Like I might never see him again.”

The silence hangs heavy between them for several minutes until Stiles sees Eli shiver in the cool night air.

“Only wolf I know who gets cold,” he says fondly, removing his hoodie and wrapping it around the boy.  Eli takes it gratefully and sends Stiles a cautious smile.  Stiles musses his hair and then nods towards Derek’s grave.  “Ready?”

Eli frowns.  “Ready?  Ready for what?”

Stiles doesn’t answer right away, but Eli follows him readily.  They pause in front of the plot and Stiles can’t help but shake his head.  After everything Derek gave to the pack, they couldn’t even be bothered to give him a proper grave site.  Just a plot of dirt with some wilted flowers and withered ribbons. 

“I’ve spent the last year working on this,” Stiles says, pulling a small sealed jar out of his pocket.  He opens it and holds it up for Eli to smell.

Eli’s head rears back in shock at the scent.  “That - that smells like Dad.  How did you do that?”

Stiles snorts.  “Not easily.”  He holds the jar under his nose and smiles as he takes in the earthy, homey aroma.  “Drove me crazy for about three months when I was so close, but knew I was missing something.  You know what it was?”

Eli shakes his head, leaning forward to inhale the scent again.  

“Cinnamon,” Stiles says, still smiling.

“From those ‘frilly little coffee drinks’ he used to love but pretended to hate,” Eli finishes, smiling himself.  “What does it do?”

Stiles sobers and takes another slow, deep breath.  “When I got back to D.C., I could’t shake that feeling.  Anytime I checked in with him, he’d insist he was fine and the pack was doing well.  He just kept telling me not to worry.  But you know me,” he flung out his arm, gesturing to himself.  

“Stiles,” Eli says, stepping forward into the man’s space, his expression serious.  “What does it do?”

Stiles looks down at the jar in his hand and his breathing seems to stop.

“You trust me?” Stiles asks again.

“Yes,” Eli replies quietly. 

“It’s going to bring him back to us.”

As if he can’t bear to see Eli’s reaction, Stiles turns suddenly and upends the jar, sending its contents spilling onto the disturbed earth below.  The words he whispers to the dirt are lost in the sudden gust of wind, but the fervor with which they are spoken causes Eli to shiver and jump to action.

“What can I do?” He asks once Stiles is finished chanting. 

Stiles pulls out a pocket knife and hands it to him.  “We only need a few drops.”

Eli nods seriously and steels himself before cutting a small incision into his left palm.  He holds out the hand and allows Stiles to direct the stream of blood over the grave.

Stiles takes a second to grip Eli’s shoulder before giving himself an identical cut and letting the blood spill on top of Eli’s.

They both step back to the foot of the grave, completely silent.  The wind continues to howl.  The sound grows louder and louder until suddenly it turns into an entirely different kind of howl.  One they both recognize immediately. 

“It’s Dad,” Eli says in amazement.  “Does that mean it worked?  Stiles, did that just work?”

Stiles doesn’t dare speak, just closes his eyes and allows himself to become lost in the howling.  Howling he thought he’d never hear again.  The pressure of unshed tears causes him to open his eyes just as the ground at their feet starts to move.

“Oh my god,” Eli shouts, running two steps forward just as a hand breaks free from the earth.

He grabs the hand and begins to pull frantically.  Stiles gets over his shock and disbelief quickly enough to join Eli as he starts to dig at the ground around the hand.

Seconds later, Derek is free.  And alive.

His eyes glow crimson and he lets out a roar that can be heard for miles around.  He is panting as he stands to full height and looks around to orient himself.

Derek barely has time to realize his son is nearby before he finds himself with his arms full.  Eli is shaking with the effort of his iron-clad grip, but no force on this Earth could get him to let go of his dad.

“Eli,” Derek says, returning the embrace just as fiercely.  “Eli, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

They whisper reassurances and apologies to each other for what feels like hours.  Their eyes are closed and their knuckles white from the force of their grasps.

Derek suddenly gets a lungful of a scent he wasn’t expecting, and realizes Eli is wearing Stiles’ hoodie.  His eyes fly open and begin searching the clearing frantically.

He sees Stiles standing several steps away, tears flowing down his face and his body trembling.

“Stiles,” Derek whines, opening one of his arms and beckoning for him desperately. 

It was all Stiles needed before running to join the embrace, the three of them all opening crying in the moment.  His arms wrap tightly around both Hales as they all regain their breath and their equilibrium.

Eli pulls away first, rubbing at his face and clearing it of tears.  He takes a step back but keeps his hand on his dad’s arm, not wanting to break contact.  Derek sends him a warm smile and shakes his head at himself in disbelief that he’s alive.

“Derek,” Stiles whispers, adjusting his grip on the man.

Derek’s still-red eyes turn to meet Stiles’, and everything is understood in an instant without a need for words.  He leans into Stiles’ space and presses their foreheads together.  They stay like that, perfectly content, until Eli breaks the silence.

“Okay, I know you guys are, like, having a moment,” he laughs as he ducks both Stiles and Derek’s attempts to swat him in the back of the head.  “But I’m not getting any warmer.  Any chance we can move this reunion indoors?”

Stiles rolls his eyes but can’t contain his grin.  He groans and pulls away with one final squeeze of Derek’s hand.  A silent promise they would pick this up later.  

“Are you sure you’re a werewolf?” Stiles goads Eli as he messes up the boys hair.  

“He’s got a point, Eli,” Derek intones, rounding the two so he and Stiles are bracketing Eli on their walk back to the car.  “Maybe a were-lion?  Something less acclimated to colder weather.”

Eli whines, looking back and forth between the two in mock-outrage.  “Stiles, I thought we had a deal.  We’re supposed to gang up on him,” he says indignantly, pointing his thumb at his dad.  “Not on me!”

Stiles nudges Eli with his shoulder.  “You’re right, pup, a deal’s a deal.  I think we can give your dad a pass though just this one night.”

Eli smiles softly.  He reaches out and grabs his dad’s hand in a way he hasn’t since he was small.  “I guess so.”

Derek and Stiles share a grin over Eli’s head.

“So,” Stiles says cheerily to Eli as they reach the Jeep.  “What do you say we go grab Grandpa and get the hell out of this town once and for all?”

[acacia-may]

8 for the writing asks pls?

Thank you for the ask and for playing this writing ask game.

8. An excerpt of my writing that hurt my own feelings to write.

I've definitely written a lot of things that hurt my own feelings to write, but I cried real, genuine tears when I wrote this scene and was so emotional over it that I actually had to stop and take a break to calm down by the time I got to Aubrey's "because you've always been that person for me" line. I've written a lot of angst and a lot of devastating moments, but I've only actually cried because of my own writing maybe twice(?) in my life (I'm usually not much of a crier), so it definitely sticks out to me and I consider the Aubrey-centric chapter of "When Sun Shines Again" some of the best writing I did last year. Here's a snippet:

With a heavy sigh, Hero turned away from her, staring out of the dark and gloomy window. “You know, I’ve…never really had a lot of fight in me…” he admitted quietly, a faint flush in his cheeks before he let out a light, somewhat self-deprecating chuckle. “It’s something I’ve always thought I should probably get a little more of. But you…” His expression softened, and he smiled at her as he met her eyes. “You’ve always been a fighter, and I’ve always admired that about you. You want to protect everyone—fight for your friends even when they can’t or won’t fight for themselves. But I’m your big brother…”—he took a shaky breath and patted the top of her head—“I’m supposed to be the one protecting you, so you don’t need to protect me, okay?” “But that’s the thing, Hero—you’re everybody’s big brother. Without Mari, you don’t have anybody to protect you anymore. And as long as you feel like you have to protect me and Kel and Sunny and Basil—as long as you feel like you have to take care of us, you’re never going to tell us what’s wrong, so you’re just going to suffer alone and none of us want that. We all worry about you too.” Aubrey paused, wiping her eyes. Hero froze. His hands trembled. He didn’t know what to say—didn’t even know how he felt. To see Aubrey so broken up and worried about him was like a wrench to his heart. First, Kel. Now, Aubrey. Could he do anything without hurting the people he cared for most in the world? “Aubrey, I…” he began to stumble as tears pooled in his eyes. “No, I—” she cut him off. “I didn’t say this to make you feel bad or feel guilty. I just…I know you, Hero. I know the way that things are—the way you always push aside how you feel to take care of everyone else, and I guess that’s part of the reason why I was so upset—because I knew how much you were suffering all alone and how you didn’t have anyone you felt like you could talk to. I know you’re never really going to be able to talk to us about what’s wrong—but I just…I think we all want you to have someone you can talk to. Someone you feel like you don’t have to protect. I know that’s never going to be me or Kel or even Basil or Sunny—you’re always going to be our big brother, but I want to believe there’s somebody out there—maybe even several people—maybe Brandi or your friends from school or I don’t know just anybody…somebody who you feel like you can tell these things to, somebody you can always go to who’ll try to understand and will comfort you and support you no matter what. I want you to find that person, Hero—because you’ve always been that person for me.”

[full-cowlings]

𝑳𝑬𝑭𝑻 𝑩𝑬𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑫

❝ 𝐭𝐨  𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞  𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞  𝐢𝐬  𝐭𝐨  𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬:   𝐢   '𝐦   𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝  𝐭𝐨  𝐛𝐞  𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝  𝐛𝐲  𝐲𝐨𝐮   . ❞

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚

Summary ; In which Izuku leaves U.A Highschool for good . but not before leaving goodbye notes to his classmates , [name] having received one with something that could only cause the heart to hurt so much more .

Warnings & Notices ; ANGSTY | spoiler warning for the new episode released !! i have used the official script in the drabble , so please be wary of that .

Word Count ; 1689

april ... april has arrived . and with it , the paranormal liberation war had been concluded ... but with several casualties and deaths occurring ... so many heroes lost — so many lives lost . the sad truth was that the heroes couldn't protect everyone — and they had been the cause of a few deaths in the midst of it . let alone some news coming out .

however ... along with april ... it brought izuku waking up from the coma he had fallen into amongst the damage he himself had taken that war .

which was amazing news for you and everyone around him ... for only god knew how worried you had been for him . seeing how his quirk had pushed him to his limits ... how he had no control over his movements , everything that forced him to wage on with it all . it was so much , making your heart ache just to watch it ... heaven knows what he had felt .

and yet that hope that rekindled in your heart upon him waking up had slowly been blown out and dissipated once more .

for not long after he had woken were you hit with devasting news . news that you never thought would come your way .

izuku had left u.a highschool .

and in his departure ... he had left a note to you — and everyone else — in explaining why he chose the path he has .

which is what lead you to where you were now , sitting in the 1-A dorms common room , though off to the side upon realizing you weren't the only one who had received a letter of goodbye . your heartbeat was in your ears , able to feel it pound against your ribcage as you prepared yourself to read it ... easily recognizing the kanji in izuku's handwriting .

a certain feeling of dread had already filled you . was it because he was out there on his own ? with nobody to back him up or to fall back on now ? or was it because there were so many things unsaid between you two ?

u.a had started great , after all ... nobody knew things would take such a treacherous downfall ... let alone one so drastic it had the green-haired hero you fell in love with feeling like he had to leave . leave his dream behind , his friends ... you .

taking a deep breath , you clutched the parchment in your hands before beginning to read the handwritten note .

" dear [name] ,

thank you , for everything , for starters . you don't know the impact you have had on me and on my dreams of becoming a hero . how much you strife you gave me to continue pushing forwards , even when the light inside me seemed dim .

i thought i needed to tell you and everyone else in class A my secret . so i'm writing letters to leave behind for you all.

my power is a special power that i received from all might and tomura shigaraki and all for one are coming after my quirk ... and me .

at this rate , you will all be in danger because of me . i don't want you caught up and wrapped up in my mess ... therefore , i have decided to leave u.a highschool to keep you ... guys safe . "

your eye widened at such a thing . so much to take in at once ... it was almost confusing ... but what you did know was that your heart ached at hearing such a thing .

clenching the letter in your hands, you had to take a pause in order to compose yourself .

what was he thinking ? leaving like that ?

didn't he know what he was leaving behind ?

or ... who he was leaving behind ?

izuku midoriya had began as nothing more than a classmate at the start of the semester , only growing towards something more and more the more time you spent together .

having never had the courage to tell him , you left it be . in fear of ruining what you two had .

and now you almost regretted that ... no , you did regret that decision .

because now he was out there , all alone ... with two of the major villains going after him and his quirk , a secret in itself .

and he had nobody to fall back on now that he was out there alone ... 

though shoving the emotion and pain aside for now , your eyes glanced back down to the page once you had collected your thoughts , well , to the best of your abilities .

" being able to get into the hero course and meet everyone in class A really made me happy .

especially you , [nickname] .

don't think i'll ever be forgetting anything we shared together in my time there . i wish things could be different but ... they can't .

thank you , for everything . for being the one who means most to me and for being the person i continued to fight for , it's you and has always been you . i don't think that will be changing any time soon . "

there was a lump in your throat , it was the way that even through writing he had you choking on your own emotion , your own vulnerability showing in the corner you stayed in . thank god you weren't sitting with everyone else right now .

you swallowed down a lump of emotion once again . as if you hadn 't done that enough through reading what he had left you . a small breath escaping your lips as you once again turned your head down to read the rest of what he wrote you .

" there's one thing i never got to tell you ... and i don't know if i'll ever get the chance to tell you in person anymore . so , i thought i'd leave you with this one last thing . " you took a deep breath in as your eyes scanned through the handwritten letter .

you tried to ignore the tears that brimmed at your waterline , threatening to over spill . it burned , the way they were threatening to fall down your cheeks , the way it blurred and distorted your vision . the way so many emotions overcame you all at once ... it almost burned just as much as your whole entire being ached upon hearing this .

" i love you , [name] , i've always loved you and i'll continue to do so . i wish things could be different , i really do ... but it can't ... i have to protect you ... i can't lose you too . "

your eyes widened again when reading his confession , pupils contracting along with the startlement , the bittersweet realization of what he had just said ... well ... written .

that idiot ... that adorable, lovable idiot ...

why ? why did he feel the need to face this threat on his own ? didn't he know how much you all cared for him ? how much you cared for him ? the yearning and longing you felt every time your gaze met the one his viridian hues casted upon you ?

you clenched the parchment in your hands as you read the words that were presented to you , unable to help the few stray tears that slipped and strayed down your cheeks , splashing onto the handwritten note .

" i'll never forget you , [name] , no matter what happens when i leave . i promise .

thank you , for everything . "

izuku had just confessed his feelings ... just confessed to loving you ,

" and goodbye .

with love , sincerely signed ... "

and you could no longer tell him you felt just the same longing as he did .

" ... izuku midoriya . "

[minho-hoho]

20:55

☾ GENRE ➝ yandere, drabble

☾ PAIRING ➝ yandere!soobin x gn!reader

☾ WARNING ➝ yandere behaviour, stalking, violence, mention of psychosis

☾ REQUESTED ➝ no

☾ WC ➝ 0.7k

☾ NOTE ➝ hmm, mediocre but, i wanted to post something before school starts again. apologies. hope it's still readable :(

MASTERLIST

barely conscious, spread out on the floor. you finally managed to slightly open your eyes. you were dizzy, your head was spinning. you were cold, so cold you shivered. you tried looking around but you couldn't see much except darkness.

you had no energy to move or to call out anyone, still, you tried muttering a sound, in hopes that someone would hear you.

you groaned, a sharp and intense pain shooting through your body, catching the attention of soobin, who was sitting not so far from you, observing you.

his face lit up as he saw you woken up. he had waited so long, and was glad to see you were “alright”.

a shy smile on his face he approached you, “you're finally awake, are you okay?” he asked, so innocently, his voice coated with fake concern.

your eyes darted towards soobin, it took you some time before recognising him, his face barely visible.

you regained some consciousness as you remembered who soobin was, and how you ended up with him.

after having set his eyes on you, he asked you out. you rejected him, of course. you had never talked to him in the past. you were weirded out by how he knew your name and he knew where you would be.

you felt a bit of pity seeing him sulk at your rejection, but you couldn't accept. he was too weird, you didn't want to put yourself in danger.

you went on with your day, trying to forget soobin. he however was going crazy. he couldn't handle the fact that you rejected him so casually. he needed you so bad, he had followed your every step until now, he knew every little habit of yours, he knew things about you that even you didn't know. he couldn't accept not being by your side.

drowning in his psychosis, he found you. it was an easy task to him now. as soon as he saw you, he couldn't help but fall in his obsession even deeper. but he needed you for himself, and soon.

soobin did something he didn't think he'd be able to, knowing how much love he had for you.

he took a crowbar, and hit you several times with it. mostly on your abdomen, though sometimes your limbs too.

he let himself go a little, wanting to take a little revenge. still feeling devastated by your “brutal” rejection. it didn't take you much for you to lose consciousness and black out. as soon as he saw you becoming limp, soobin stopped hitting you.

even though you were bloody, you were alive, ready for soobin to take home.

and that's how you ended up where you were right now. your stomach turned as you felt immense fear. your eyes trembled, and soobin took notice of that, his smile now fading away at the sight.

“why are you scared of me, y/n?” he whined.

he brought himself closer to you, brushing your hair with his finger. you tried moving away, but the pain your body was in was too big for you to get away from him.

soobin noticed your aversion to him, and it upset him. not understanding how you couldn't see how you and him being together was destiny's work.

he sighed grabbing your hand, which you tried to remove from his. he sent you the darkest glare before holding your hand tighter.

“you might not understand now, but you will in the future.” he took a pause to caress your knuckles. “you and i, my dear, are made for each other. our meeting was purely destiny, but you can't seem to grasp that yet.” he shook his head in disapproval. “i love you, and you will learn to love me back.”

his words disgusted you, you wanted to cry, scream and shout. you couldn't wrap your head around how you found yourself in such a situation.

“but y/n, be quick. if you don't love me by yourself, i will make you. not matter what, you will love me. just as much as i do.” his tone darkened as he threatened you.

your eyes met his. his seriousness, coldness showed. it scared you, so much so that a few steaming tears spilled from your eyes onto the cold floor.

soobin put his hand on your cheeks, wiping your tears away, cooing at your behaviour.

“don't cry my dear, i'll make you the happiest person on this earth.”

PERM TAG LIST! : @stacey-stonem, @sh1mzu, @axartia, @echantedrose, @leeknowbuttsmasher, @nikipedia07, @deafeningballoonnacho, @scrumptiousphilosopherunknown

[corpsebasil]

I have a request for knight!Nikolaï and it's soul c r u s h i n g

So hear me out:

He and the reader obviously love each other, maybe they haven't say anything yet (because the ✨slow burn✨ and the angst™) (and maybe a dash of social etiquette too lmao); but it's like, the TENSION DEAR GOD——

(anyway,)

There's a war or really big battle somewhere, and kinda last minute, as it takes more and more importance and might be a threat to the royals (even tho it's not around the castle); at first the guards aren't worried but the princess is still anxious that Nikolaï might be called on the battlefield (he assures that he won't leave her side)

aND—— the superior officer says that Sir Nikolaï have to go to the front! Like next day or something!! AND THE ANGST?? LOVE CONFESSION FILLED WITH DESPAIR OF MAYBE NEVER SEEING THE OTHER AGAIN??

But there's more to that! *takes a deep breath* I raide you: secret wedding just the night before he leaves (bc they obviously can't bz together but wth he might die so let's goooooo)

And then he leaves (bc if that means protecting the princess, he'll fight and he IS willing to die if that means she lives)

Whether he survives or not (like in that GLORIOUS ANGSTY headcanon you wrote *chief kiss*) is up to you, I just—

I just need to cry in a corner rn *sob*

Omfg

“Hey,” you laughed, opening up your door and backing up, allowing Sir Nikolai to enter your rooms. “You’ll never believe it. I actually just made banana bread and—“ You paused when you saw his expression, the tight smile and furrowed eyebrows on his face. “—what?”

“I’m needed for the front.” Was all he said and your stomach dropped.

You stared at each other for awhile, both fully aware of the situation; a foreign kingdom—Damn them—had started border skirmishes with increasing aggression each time. You, the princess, had been sure your personal guard would never be chosen to go and fight. He was supposed to protect you, wasn’t he? Supposed to be by your side at all times, wasn’t he?

“No.” You breathed, taking back a step. “No, you—” you stopped, turning away as a hand flew to your mouth. “No.”

“Your Highness—”

“No.” You snapped, turning back to face him. You stepped closer and risked taking his face in your hands, your thumbs smoothing across his cheekbones. You were shaking your head and trembling when his arms banded around you, pulling you an inch closer. “I won’t let you.” You rasped, eyes looking anywhere but at his face. “I won’t you—you can’t—“

“It’s my duty.” He told you, a hand running slowly up your back. “It’s an honor.”

“No.”

“Your highness—“

“No.”

“Y/N.”

“Damn it, no Nikolai!” You wept, yanking away from him and walking several steps towards the window. You took in several shaky breaths and stared out, your mind racing. Every soldier had died so far. Every single one. You couldn’t take losing Nikolai. You just couldn’t.

“Princess.” He breathed, approaching cautiously and placing his hands on your waist. You closed your eyes and leaned into him, convinced the floor was going to open up at any moment and you’d fall into it. “Please. Please.” You risked turning and looking at him and his expression was devastated. “I know. I know, love.” He murmured, carding his hand through your hair.

Your forehead met his shoulder and you gasped, clutching his shirt hard.

“Not you.” You whispered, eyes squeezed shut. “Anyone but you.”

“It’s an honor—“

“Shut up.” You snapped, looking up at him. Maybe it was the fierceness of your expression, maybe it was the way you held him, but he leaned down and kissed you.

Your heart stopped.

Stopped. His mouth was warm and soft, lips moving gently along your own, and you sighed aloud against him. Good God. It felt so good you clutched him tighter, your hands pulling him roughly against you so that every inch of your front touched his.

Later that night you found yourselves still in your room, a thin metal band around your finger. He couldn’t afford much—hadn’t planned this—but what he did have was a family heirloom that he offered you. An heirloom he’d slipped onto your hand as he murmured reassurances in your ear, promising to come back to you.

An heirloom you’d kept almost savagely, kept close to your heart, on the day the news came that he’d died in battle.

Sorry HAHA