#i was so depress when he didnt come home

[vashyuu]

2 hrs left on kinich banner im not gonna get him chat literally in school rn

52 pity guaranteed hahahshha, hopefully i get him on his first rerun with weapon ya!!

@yumerikka thank u again for the welkin i promise imma get him next time😭😭

@desirabletravel thx for the nonexistent prayer ig.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Why is Erik taking a shower and is fully prepared to fight naked in that panel 😭

my man turning into a baby is a typical tuesday activity but the second he wanna little naked shower fight NOW its suspicious 🤨

[thedrotter]

(cw for a gun, mild blood and suicide in the last drawing.)

Day 1-5 of drawing Re:Kinder daily for a whole month! I'll be doing that all month. ☺️

I did not draw Re:Kinder enough (said both sarcastically and genuinely, because while I know the statement is ridiculous I also do believe it www), so I chose to challenge myself. I will post these every 5 days to not clog the tag too much.

[starlightazriel]

bee 9

series desc: modern best friends > lovers (fem reader) tattoo artist az

warnings: 18+, az acting crazy and toxic haha, arguing/angst, just the beginning of the groveling, simp behavior hahaha, drug/alcohol addiction, reader struggling, heart break, time jumps, aa, depression mess, az is literally falling apart at the seams, don't expect good decisions from reader lol she's hurting that's all ima say

a/n: wow I know I ain't shit this took me so long I'm sorry angst central too ik

wc: 3.8k

other parts can be found on my az masterlist <3

nine

"Say the word Bee, I'll knock on his door and knock him out." His jaw was tight, eyes dark with the desire to inflict pain. Real pain, sometimes that side of Azriel scared me, these days it would only make my panties wet.

"Im fine Az," I wiped tears from my face with the back of my sleeve, my chest tightened slightly at his willingness to put himself at risk for my naivety. "Hes not worth it anyway," I added, trying desperately to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Well that youre right about. Tried to tell you he didnt deserve you," he pauses, his face looking displeased. There's a moment of silence and it made me wish I had the courage to fill it with my feelings for him. "Please stop looking so sad though. Bings will help," he smirks, trying the only way he knew how to lighten the mood, he held up his bong, already freshly packed. I sighed softly, letting a small smile tug at the corner of my lips despite the ache I felt in my chest.

"Yeah they might," I smirk a little bit, and take the bong from him, taking one of my little baby hits, I shove the bong back in his direction, coughing obnoxiously despite the small hit. Normally he would make fun of me, I figured he was sparing me the embarrassment in light of the current situation.

"I can kick his ass," he repeats and I just shake my head at him. I didn't doubt it either— when it came to me, Az didn't have any limits. He would go down swinging for me, no matter who it was.

Thinking back on that memory... It made me feel sick, that now he was the one to hurt me.

I had made the mistake of trusting Azriel too much. I knew better. I knew he wasn't ready for this and still I let myself live in some little fantasy world for weeks. And now... Now I was dealing with the consequences.

My heart was shattered.

Incomparable to my insignificant couple of break ups in the past... This was so much worse.

Az... My Az. Maybe not my Az after all.

He clearly couldn't even handle a relationship.

Or maybe... The alternative made my stomach sink.

Maybe he knew the entire time that he was moving and he was just passing the time until he did? Az wouldn't do that... Would he?

You can know someone forever... As soon as there are drugs involved... Well, nothing is guaranteed.

It seemed to be just as hard for me to admit that he had a problem than it was for him. I hated it, but this pain— it made me see things more clearly, see him more clearly.

I couldn't bring myself to block him. I did have to turn my phone off for a while because not picking up was just becoming hard. 39 missed face time calls, 12 missed regular calls, and a handful of text messages that I was leaving on read.

baby please just talk to me

i'm so sorry shit was so fucking stupid

please come home

bee i swear i'll come over there and drag you out of that house by your hair

you know i didnt mean that

im sorry

i need you bee, don't shut me out

just talk to me

i'll stop drinking so much i'll do whatever please just fucking talk to me

cass is a fucking idiot nothing happened i swear baby i didn't fuck anyone.

The messages were spaced out minutes between some, hours between others. I couldn't help myself when I typed out a reply to the last one.

how do you know you didn't fuck anyone? do you even remember? You were getting your fucking grind on with a random ass bottle girl. or maybe she wasn't random lol who fucking knows with you. and you had your face in tits Az. Tits. WERE TOUCHING YOUR CHEEKS. AND YOU WERE SMILING LIKE YOU LOVED EVERY FUCKING SECOND. AND I BET YOU DID CUS YOU LOOKED HIGH OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND.

It was only seconds before he read it and was typing.

i didn't fuck anyone. i only want you. i'm just a dumbass. bro please do not do this shit to me. i will do ANYTHING to make this up to you that's on literally everything.

And another one.

you don't have a choice anyway and i swear if i catch you outside with any of these mother fuckers yo youre both done

And another.

its not a threat its a warning don't play with me

I groaned in frustration and tossed my phone to the side. It was all so... Exhausting. My chest quite literally hurt. And the audacity, please don't do this to him?

He did this to us.

And why the fuck did he think he owned me? I hated that it made my heart flutter— bottle girls, titties, Vegas. I reminded myself.

Sick.

I had confessed everything to my mom the first day I had came back to my parents house, which in hindsight I wished I hadn't. Knowing me... I would be back in Azriels bed within days of being back, my cheeks burned at the thought. No matter what he did, it didn't change the way I now knew how he could make me feel.

She had always loved Az, since day one... He had practically been a part of our family at one point, joining our family dinners every night, even my dad and him had a certain respect for each other. 'Some people are just better off as friends,' was my mom's response to the whole ordeal. Maybe she was right, but I didn't like it, not now.

How could we go back to that?

Was it possible to go back to that?

-

The stress, the heaviness of my heart... I couldn't stop myself from swiping a cig from my dad's secret stash in the garage. I was now sat on the rocking chair on my parent's front porch, debating on what I was going to do when I returned home. I had to go soon, it had already been weeks now I was starting to dip into my old wardrobe.

I had been commuting to class even though it was much farther than Azriel's apartment. I just didn't know what to say when I saw him. I didn't even know how to bring up the fact that I knew he was moving. Did he plan on telling me? What had been his plan for my living situation if he didnt have the apartment anymore? Had he even thought about it?

"So you're smoking now?" his voice causes me to jump, my heart nearly leaping from my chest as my head snaps to Azriel who's standing there, one hand shoved in his pocket other hand gripping a small bouquet of flowers. Scarred fingers against delicate stems, my cheeks turned pink remembering what he had done to me with those fingers. That feeling soon turned to anger remembering what he else he had done, he's frozen now, maybe half way up the stone path leading to my parents front door.

"Jesus Az what the fuck?" I breathed out, exhaling a shaky breath, my tone laced with a venom I had never used with him before. "You scared the fuck out of me, what are you even doing here?"

"You know what I'm doing here," his voice is soft but slightly strained, my stomach twists at the pain I can feel, radiating off of him. I didnt know how he did that, he was always able to change the air around me— like I was so hyper aware of him that I could sense his feelings.

"Az-"

"I love you," he cuts me off, my breath hitches, his cheeks are slightly pink, hand still shoved into his pocket. I set the burning cigarette down on the can beside me, I tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat.

So long.

I had waited to hear those words for so fucking long. And now, here, under these circumstances— it didnt feel how I imagined it would. It didnt feel how it was supposed to.

"I love you too Azriel you know I do but I-"

"But what? You dont want me because Im so fucked up right?" His voice drops slightly, his throat bobbing and I noticed his grip tighten on the bouquet in his hand. His face was soft— pained, and my heart cracked again, remembering that boy so many years ago bruised and bloody with that same heartbroken face of betrayal, and now I had done that to him. "Im sorry, Im so fucking sorry please—"

"I didn't say that," I mumbled, my heart felt like it was bleeding in my chest, like there would be nothing left once he walked away. He didn't dare to step closer. "I just- I need some time Az," I mumbled softly and he closed his eyes for a minute before tugging at his hair, huffing out a frustrated breath. He looked like he would get down on his knees for me, like he would beg me if I asked him to.

"I know what that means Bee," he huffs out another small breath, his face slowly contorting into that hard cold stare I knew him to hide behind. "Anyway," he breaths out, looking away from me. "I'm going to change your mind, we—" he struggles again before giving up, I could see his eyes were bloodshot as he got closer, dark circles prominently underlining them. "Here," he finally says, he shoves the bouquet in my hand, there was an envelope taped to the side of it with my name on it.

"I'm coming home soon Az," I mumble, though, I didn't even know if I was ready for the conversation the two of us would be having. "I told you we could talk then," I add and he sighs, stepping back off of the porch.

"I'll see you soon then," he muttered softly and just shrugged his shoulders, I could tell he wanted to run to me... He wanted to wrap me in his arms and kiss me. He wanted to strangle me also— I could see that too, that deep rooted need for control, to make me see things his way. I couldn't blame him— it stemmed from years of physical abuse, traumas I would never truly be able to understand.

"Go home Az. Goodnight, thank you, for the flowers," is the last thing I say before walking back inside shutting the door behind me, in his face. I didnt watch him walk away, that short conversation had been painful enough. I put the flowers in some water and tore open the mini envelope despite how angry I was with him.... Seeing him, made me crave him so much more.

'I could lose every single thing I have in this world but I can't lose you. I miss you. Please stop shutting me out. I can't take much more of this Bee.'

His handwriting was rushed— desperate messy scrawl, guilt twisted in my gut. I couldn't help it... I had nothing to feel guilty about and yet... Imagining him alone, needing me, missing me... Enough to buy flowers and scribble out a little note. More than I'd ever seen him do for any other woman.

I couldn't fall for it.

My chest tightened and tears welled up in my eyes. Why did he have to fuck everything up? It had been so perfect. Leave it to a fucking man to ruin everything.

-

Azriel swallowed the bile that rose in his throat as he stared blankly in front of him at all of the faces looking back at him. His palms were sweaty, ears hot with embarrassment and he couldn't stop tapping his foot. He had opted not to get up and stand at the front, feeling much more secure in his seat toward the back of the room.

"Hi, uh, my name is Azriel, I'm twenty five, and Im um— Im an alcoholic," it was the first time he'd ever said it out loud, it tasted horrible on his tongue. "I've um I've been addicted to drinking alcohol probably for about ten years- Got me into other- shit and I'm here today because I fell in love with my best friend and um- I don't want to lose her. Never tried to quit drinking before— never really believed I had a problem but— yeah, here I am," his voice had gotten quieter as he finished and he realized he was rambling. His cheeks burned, he hated all the eyes on him, hated that he was the center of attention. And he was craving a line, bad.

His introduction was followed by many 'Hi Azriels,' which only made him feel more uncomfortable. They tried to make him feel welcome, tried to relate to him— get him to open up. He thought he might explode but he listened though. He listened to each and every persons story that shared. And when it was over the leader gave him a small white chip, service, unity, recovery. A pledge to a new beginning, toward sobriety.

He sighed and shoved it into his pocket, he was sitting on the step now, to go coffee cup in his hand, black obviously. Isn't that what recovering alcoholics did? Drink black coffee and smoke cigarettes?

"Can I bum one?" a male voice asks and next thing he knows he's sitting down next to him, he was a bit older, maybe 40.

"Sure," he mutters and pulls a cigarette from the pack and extends it to him, he recognized him from inside the meeting.

"It's Max, if you didn't catch it in there."

"Azriel," he mumbles, looking straight ahead at the cars passing by. He didn't know how to feel. He didn't want to get sober. But he needed Bee. He couldn't lose her, after getting a taste? He couldn't handle not having her again. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You need a sponsor?" he asks, raising an eyebrow, Azriel shrugs, the new sobriety coin felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket. The anxiousness... The insatiable desire to rid himself of any of his uncomfortable feelings by doing a line and buying a bottle... How the hell was he supposed to stay sane?

"You going to be my sponsor?"

"First things first, don't wear a cocaine vile around your neck to an AA meeting."

-

I was quiet, careful when I slowly pushed open the door to Azriels apartment, my apartment too, I guess. Not for long.

It didn't feel like home anymore— the sickening feeling that twisted in my gut as I took a step inside. It was quiet, he wasn't home... Fucking filthy. There was pizza boxes and take out containers, ash everywhere, multiple ash trays made from various things, there were unfinished cigs and blunts everywhere that made it smell awfully of cigarettes and stale weed. Cocaine residue and half crushed pills were out on the coffee table like it was normal. I swallowed thickly, a soft breath leaving my lips I knew I shouldn't feel guilty, shouldn't feel bad that he obviously wasn't okay... But I did, I just left him. Never, never had I ever done that to Azriel. I was the one constant in his life, the one person who was always there. Ever since that day in front of my house all those years ago.

Titties, bottle girls, moving to Vegas. I reminded myself, my stomach turned again. So angry. Fucking idiot.

I entered the kitchen for a glass of water, needing something to calm that sick feeling. The bile that rose in my throat that felt like I was about to hurl everything I ate for the past three days. I thought better of it quickly, before I consumed anything from this rancid kitchen I would need to deep clean and disinfect.

Dirty dishes in the sink, the dishwasher hanging open half loaded still with clean dishes like he had just been taking them from there and hadn't bothered to put anything away, empty liquor bottles overflowing from the small recycling bin, more take out containers, a bong tipped over, the foul smelling water from it still dripping off of the counter, a small puddle of brownish water collected on the white tile.

What the fuck?

My room was the only room that didnt smell like bong water and cigarettes, but still, he had been in here. Maybe even slept in here. Papers covered the floor, not just papers but drawings. There were drawings of me everywhere. Just me, me naked, him and I together, kissing, fucking, our hands intertwined— there were even drawings of us when we were younger. A little messy, like he had been pressing down so hard— drawing with such emotion that he kept breaking his utensil of choice that day.

I let out a soft sob, my hand flying to cover my mouth.

Fuck.

Kat. I needed Kat.

I tried to swallow the growing lump in my throat again and pulled my phone out to check her location. Of course she was at the shop.

-

"Hey," the bells chime softly as I walk into the shop, there was no one in the waiting room besides Kat and she looked up from her phone, our eyes locking.

"Heyyy baby," she greets, flashing me a smile that soon turns into a frown, her eyebrows drawing together. "Are you good?"

"No," I loosed a shaky breath, advancing to the counter, I leaned against it like I had so many times, but my chest was fucking aching. It was so fucking infuriating that nothing felt the same, nowhere felt the same. I guessed this was what heart break really felt like, seeing the world in every color one day and then black and white the next. "Is he here?" I dropped my voice lower, playing with one of the knick knacks on the desk to distract myself.

"No, he left a while ago, didnt say where he was going," she's still frowning, the worried look still plastered on her face.

"The house Kat?" I paused, making a face. "It's fucking disgusting, I don't understand how hes living like that," my harsh words could have only been brought on by anger, she softens, her look turning more sympathetic which annoys me only, I ignore it.

"He hasn't been the best at work either— snapping on everyone, late every day and fucked up," she lets out a small sigh, "Rhys is fucking pissed," she pulls her lip between her teeth.

"Fuck Rhys, honestly," I mutter quietly, she raises an eyebrow in response but I only ignore it. Of course, none of this was his fault, but still Vegas. Why fucking Vegas? "It's my turn to get fucked up, anyway, that's why I'm here I bought a bottle to pregame, just needed my bitch and one of her miniskirts," my words are met with a grin.

"Babes you know I got you."

-

I hadn't been drunk in a while, so to say the least I was enjoying myself. The pounding of the music, talking to strangers, dancing with Kat. I had needed all of this.

To slip out of my mind for a few hours and just let go.

Kat was definitely enjoying herself now too, and was dancing with some tall sexy man she had just met. I was keeping to myself for the most part, on the edge of the dance floor, swaying my hips to the music as I surveyed the scene with a fuzzy mind.

My mouth popped open in slight surprise and when I felt curiosity instead of the desire to leave immediately, I knew I had drank too much. There was Eris, in all his jewelry and expensive clothes, looking poised and composed as always. Long pale ringed fingers wrapped around a glass of amber liquid. I hadn't seen him since the night we shared.

"You ghosted me princess."

"I had other things going on— and I didnt finish," I smile boredly, not meeting his gaze, it must have been the liquor making me so bold, he scoffs slightly his eyebrows raising in surprise.

"Let me buy you a drink then, to make up for it, must have been an off day for me," he inquires, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction that my body was basically broken with anyone except for Azriel, I would let him believe it was his fault. His ego could be taken down a peg, anyway.

"I have one already," I raise it up slightly, smirking as I swirl the liquid around in the cup.

"Not anymore," in a swift motion he takes the glass from my hand and dumps the drink in a near by plant, a fake plant. I squeaked, looking around to see if anyone else had witnessed it.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? It's fake and you just filled it with liquor and juice! Have you even heard of a fruit fly?" I demanded, swaying a bit on my feet, liquor buzzing through my veins. If anyone did that at my bar, I scoffed slightly at the thought staring him down judgmentally for his utter carelessness.

"It's fake, so the liquor won't kill it," he flashed me his insufferable sexy grin before adding "there's wins and losses to every decision we make," his eyes flashed and I stopped for a moment, weighing those words.

No, I can't get caught up in this. I had to figure out what was going on with Azriel and I. "And now you don't have a drink and I get to buy you one, so I win, Im not really concerned nor do I care about any of the losses. Besides, I only ever come here looking for you, so I don't care if they get fruit flies." That cocky smirk he wore, the way he carried himself... He did look good. That piercing gaze, the confidence that radiated off of him along with his expensive dizzying cologne.

I remembered what Az had said about him 'theres a lot of people that would kill him in this city' hearing his words echo in my head, knowing how much he hated that I'd been with Eris... I swallowed, my cheeks turning pink.

Az didnt care when he was fucked up, when he was smushing his face between those two bottle girls titties he didnt think about me at home— waiting for him.

So I wouldn't care now.

I didnt think about him, I didnt think about what it would do to him when I wrapped my fingers up into Eris expensive shirt and yanked his tall frame down to me.

"Wins and losses you say?" I whisper before pressing a kiss to his lips.

-

a/n: cliffhangerrr only time and comments will tell if yalll are mad about this drama HAHA sorry I had to drag the groveling out into multiple parts Az WILL be on his KNEES in the near future

taglist <3: @smalljasper289 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @scorpioriesling @userxs-blog @lilah-asteria @abadfantasybook @judeduartewannbe @lindsayscottagebythesea @velarisdusk @serxndipity-ipity-blog @julesvanslutta @honk4emoboyz @bookishbishhh @dakotali @blessthepizzaman @scooobies

IF ANYONES TAG DIDNT WORK IM SO SORRY

[powerpuffobsession]

The whole Eden Lucifer-Adam-Lilith-Eve situation is kinda creepy. I see serious groomer undertones in it, given the difference in Lucifer's and humans' life experience (and to extent, maturity) at the moment

Imagine that you are an adult experienced angel who is present during the making of Eden and the birth of first humans. You also apparently want a wife. And to be a part in creation of Eden. What do you do? Find some female angel to marry and live your life with? Find an actually helpful way of working alongside elder angels?

Nope, instead you meddle with the lives of newborn and inexperienced humans in the most destructive way possible.

You could have helped them sort out their disagreements and actually taught them proper ways to behave. But you don't. You groom the naive female human into trusting you and then you encourage her cheating on the male human, causing trauma and insecurities to corrupt his personality in his first few years of living (the most influential in shaping a person's mentality). Thus you become partly responsible for the vengeful monster he will become in the future

More than that, you take away the female human's chance to live safely in paradise or on earth. Because of aiding you in your not-so-well-thought-out-plan (she didnt have any other choice, you and the male human were the only company she had), she is doomed to be allowed to only live in hell the rest of her life. And you knew that no one in heaven was going to give her the benefit of the doubt

As icing on the cake, you don't stop just on grooming and encouraging cheating, you don't leave the male human alone after you've already did him dirty and abandoned him... you come back and corrupt his new wife for some unclear reason (because your "whimsical" ideas of how you'd do a project elder angels know better how to carry out, are never even elaborated upon).

As a result, you doom not only these three babies in adult bodies but also the entire humanity to a terrifying life of fighting sinful outbursts, suffering, surviving, dying and risking ending up in hell where they'll be suffering for an eternity

I'm not sure if writers will ever hold Lucifer accountable for all this in a proper way. Probably not. But thinking about how much he fucked over first three humans makes me wish more depression on him

At this point, Lilith leaving Lucifer is not surprising. Imagine if after maturing and gaining life experience (and already giving birth to Charlie) she realized how her husband was practically using her. That could be why she left after doing her job of raising Charlie until she became an adult that can survive on her own

(I mean, it could be true if hazbin hotel was good at having the characters live through consequences of their actions and not just making Adam a scapegoat who is supposedly like Stella v 2.0 - evil ever since he was born and already inventing patriarchy with his very first breath. Like, all humans are selfish jerks when they are newborn - that's what parenting is for, shaping something more pleasant out of all that selfishness) (notice how the writing only focuses on how Adam was "bad" back in Eden)

(That also gives me a reason to judge angels in general - just a few narrative details really show how little they cared about the first humans' wellbeing and future. It's their fault too that Lilith ended up in hell and had to make some sort of deal to get a chance to visit her home/ Adam became an immature mentally unstable murderer/ and Eve... dunno, we haven't seen her yet)

[achaotichuman]

Acotar Rant

Whenever I see shit like ‘Tamlin is depressed and wants to die because Feyre left him’ ‘He’s so desperate for Feyre and that’s whats driven him to this point.’ All I can think is, do we just collectively think Tamlin is immune to trauma??

To even grasp this situation you have to go way back before the book even starts. Tamlin was preyed on by the pedophile that helped ruin his childhood who then cursed him because he told her no.

He then had to watch all his close friends die in vain for him while he desperately searched for decades for another solution. He brought in refugees fleeing from other Courts. He. Carried. His. Dead. Citizens. And. Hand. Buried. Them. And he had to do it all without ever being able to fall apart.

The Feyre came along, and he learned to care for her. He didnt want her to just be used to break the curse because he didnt want to just be using her. He fell in love with a person that saw past the mask (both figuratively and literally) and allowed him a safe space. One that had long ago been stripped from him.

Then she was sexually assaulted, tortured and killed in front of him. He watched the love of his life die for him and he was completely unable to do anything about it.

Then he was given another chance to protect her and he took it. Granted this is not to excuse his actions, but there has to be some nuance given to the fact that he watched her literally die and was by the grace of God given another chance.

Then this same girl that he loved and desperately wanted to protect from the same thing happening again, was kidnapped. This same woman then tricked him into believing she had once again been raped by the same monster who assaulted her under the mountain and killed his family.

The very same woman then mind raped his sentries, his friends, and then proceeded to destroy his Court which he had spent decades trying everything in his power to protect, from the inside out. Then allowed Hybern to rampage through, destroying a neighbouring Court in the process.

He had to watch his people die all over again, when Feyre lied to him, he saw her dying under the mountain all over again. And he still went to war! He was spying on Hybern and gave over vital information about them to the High lords!

Then he dragged Beron out by his neck to fight for Prythian.

And when all was said and done he helped bring back the monster that had destroyed him mentally all for the sake of the girl that had killed his people.

Then he left them all alone in the end. Spring was abandoned and him along with it. This man, who very clearly has abandonment issues from the fact he was rejected by his family and beat within an inch of his life to the point he ran from home to the War Camps, was left completely by himself.

Lucien does come to see him once every now and again, but I also don’t blame Tamlin for not wanting him too. Considering even though Lucien had extremely valid reasons for leaving when he did, he still left Spring for dead without an explanation.

In the end, it is not ‘Tamlin needs to get over himself and his ex’ its Tamlin needs an extreme amount of mental help. He is a survivor as much as the rest of them.

Not even Feyre was able to recover from her mental health without a ton of fucking help. No one was, everyone got their support groups in the end

Tamlin went through it all without ever taking himself into consideration and still made it. He deserves to be able to fall apart.

[helluvaboss666999]

Platonic Yandere Charlie and Vaggie and Lucifer and baby reader who was adopted by Charlie

Oki so I didn't know if you meant together or separately so I did it separately,but if you would prefer it together just comment/DM me and I'll re-do it :)

Charlie is a loving yandere

~Charlie adored you to be frank,she'd always wanted a baby and here you are!

~She didn't care that you weren't biologically hers,all that mattered was that you were happy and healthy

~She loved her people and her home but she couldn't help not wanting to let you out of the hotel

~Hell is a dangerous place! She couldn't stand the idea of you being hurt,not when she would prevent it

~She made sure you had everything you could ever want,I mean why leave when you don't need to?

~Overall she just loves you and wants to protect you

Vaggie is a overprotective yandere

~When Charlie brought you home Vaggie was sceptical,I mean they already had their hands full with the hotel,could they really handle a baby too?

~10 minutes later and Vaggie would kill everyone in the hotel and then herself if she lost you

~She teaches you how to fight even tho she makes sure you'll never need the skill

~Your room is right next to hers and Charlie's,with a door in the wall so she can check up on you in the night

~Didnt want Angel dust around you until you were older until she saw him hold you,she knew then she could trust him to protect you if the need came

~She just wants to keep you safe from heaven and hell,even if she has to kill a few people to do it

Lucifer is a dorky yandere

~Omg he is such a dorky grandpa but he's trying his best Oki 😭

~He was thrilled when Charlie called him to come see you

~"My daughter and grandkid want to see me! Ha! Take that depression!"

~Will snap at anyone that tries to take you away from him while he's holding you

~"Ba€k OfF,✨ please ✨"

~Its safe to say you have a lot of rubber duckys

~Feels so happy to be apart of yours and Charlie's life

~Over all,just wants to do the best for you

___________________________________________

Sorry this took so long! Still hope you enjoy:) requests are open :)

[yonpote]

ok heres how i split up the dnp eras (loosely based on dan's timeline in his interview w anthony)

2009-2011: the Sillies era :3 dan refered to it as being a dumb teen just posting cuz he was bored, which is like, thats what all of youtube culture was at this time. they met and like fell in love or whatever you know the lore dont you. phil moved from his parents home to his first apartment in manchester, and dan technically moved to uni but really he moved into phil's apartment to take advantage of his washing machine and ps1 and. yknow. other stuff. they officially moved in together in 2011 yippee hooray, the phanchester apartment holds a special place in my heart

2012-2013: THE SHIFT. they started getting Serious about youtube as a career, doing more stuff w the radio, superamazingproject started in 2011 but THE SHIFT is very easy to observe when you compare the first season of sap to the last season. ALSO. they were NOT A DOUBLE ACT AND NOT GAY 🙄. it could also be called the No Homo era lmao idk this is when a lot of shitty things were happening wrt leaked information, harassment of their families, and just generally becoming more in the spotlight especially while still in the closet being a horrible experience. but also, they moved to london and got cool opportunities with radio stuff and were starting to actually make a living on this shit.

2014-2016: Peak Dan And Phil™ Era. at the height of their popularity. they realized oh shit, we ARE a double act and not only does everyone enjoy us best as a double act, WE enjoy working together. tabinof, tatinof, dapgo, still doing the radio every month up until they start touring, 7 second challenge app, gamingmas, what the hell DIDNT they do during this time period (what they didnt do was uhh take care of themselves and not overwork and not blur their work and personal lives so much to the point where they felt like the whole apartment was a film set.)

2017-2018: Gay Softlaunch Era (aka post-baking aka glass closet) the baby steps toward authenticity, moved to the double apartment to separate work and life, ii's whole theme, dan talking abt depression, phil getting the quiff, both of them being gay as hell in every way other than saying it explicitly. important things of note: TRUTH BOMBS dropped, Interactive Introverts happened, still uploading gaming vids and honestly by the end you could feel their fatigue. and then they hiatused dapg.

2019-2022: ok these four years each feel like whole eras in themselves, but also theres an overarching theme. THE GAY ERA.

2019: im gonna futher split this year in half. first half- dad left to buy milk so other dad is taking care of us. rough six months for dannies im sure. important phil thing of note- he changed his film set from his "bedroom" to a fairly basic but cute shelf backdrop. honestly prob didnt wanna keep pretending that was his bedroom considering.... second half- DAN AND PHIL GAY. dan uploads his magnum opus. phil comes out via tweet. they go to japan and its really gay and it's The Trip to japan for them like yes they first went in 2015 and again in 2023, but Japhan 2.0 Was The One. what does this mean? proposal? anniversary? idk exactly but it was gay as hell dude and theyve talked about that trip with such love in their hearts.

2020: Phandemic (sorry that was bad) but also where tf is dan again? even with the big C-word happening, it was business as usual for phil, regular vids but make em gayer, caught a pigeon nbd, and end of the year introduces the Stereo app show Phil and Phriends where he's had chats with pj, louise, his brother, seth everman?????, and finally. dan reappears. they reveal that they bought and FULLY PLANNED a house together and are ready to move!

2021: they don't move house for another like six months! basically their house was (and is??) still being worked on AND they were in lockdown AND turns out at the end of last year, they were kicked from their Life apartment and were now living in the Work apartment so you can imagine what all of this can do to their psyche and lowkey they were getting sick of each other like it wasnt just bordering on phivorce it was nearly Phurder. Phidow. but to fill the time so that DOESNT happen, my favorite fucking thing ever happens: Lockdown Lads (and all the other names). the first taste of what a dnp podcast would sound like, with the added bonus of chaotic listener interaction. oh yeah also dan wrote a mental health guide book whatever (IM KIDDING I REALLY LIKE YWGTTN I WROTE LIKE TWO REVIEWS ON IT NOW) and they finally become Homosexual Homeowners. theres quite a bit more dnp content this year, dan being on phils channel a bit more, the phodcasts, dan's gay and not proud special.... oh yeah and hometown showdown i guess AND TEXT VIDEO 2!!! my favorite and my namesake!!!!!!!

2022: Prophecy Year..... but they didnt get married. dan returns with another longass video to say: hey i hate being a youtuber and also youtube majorly fucked me over. but also fuck that im gonna do a weird talk show and ALSO GO ON TOUR WITH THIS APOCALYPSE THEME! phil actually... slows down this year. more dan uploads than phil somehow??? but also Dan Is Leaving me is posted and i go completely insane and become the deranged individual you see today. WHICH FINALLY LEADS US TOOOOOO

2023-present: The Unhinged Era. dan's tour was a huge Emotional success for him but uh not without its hiccups due to management and all that and i think he and phil finally realize. Fuck It Who Cares. dan flies back to england FROM AUSTRALIA to make sure he can be with his future ex-husband on his birthday. CAKE HEART EMOJI. YELLOW PLAID SHACKET. they go on a gamer date and post a picture of playing footsies in a cab. THE PHUDE HAPPENS. they go to japan again and while this one will never be The One it was still a well earned holiday this time with bryony! and they took a bunch of very cute film camera pictures.... THIS IS ALL JUST THE FIRST HALF OF 2023 BTW. in phil news, he talks about going to therapy and figuring out how to manage his anxiety!!!! he changes his hair again!! he hires an editor, phan is his otp, he teases about the gaming channel a couple of times but so many of us already dropped any hope of that returning- OH WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!!!? HUH!??!? they returned, and more chaotic than ever before. the gayness upped to the max, the Weirdness on full speed, the Horniness at Very Scary Levels Oh God Stop Talking About Dogging, phil can swear uncensored now???? and this energy has continued into today...

[allisluv]

Hii I didn't see it in your guidelines but it might be triggering so I'm so sorry if I did can you Finnick taking care of reader after a suicide attempt?? I'm so so so sorry if I triggered you I really hope I didn't I'm so sorry again.

-🎸

better days are coming.

pairing: finnick odair x fem!victor!reader

summary: after a rough patch, you turn to the unthinkable, but your boyfriend is there to help you through it.

trigger warnings: depression, crying, feelings associated with a failed suicide attempt, mentions of a failed suicide attempt, pre-established relationship, mentions of the hunger games/death, ptsd, nightmares.

authors note: this fic deals with heavy topics and may be triggering to some people so please make sure you are in the right headspace to read this. my inbox is open if you are struggling. there are people that care about you.

word count: 802.

When Finnick asks why you did it, you don't really have an answer for him. Not a solid one, anyway. The truth is, you don't know why you did what you did. Sure, you'd been feeling down since winning The Hunger Games, but according to the other victors in your tiny village on the shore of District Four, it was normal to feel that way. In fact, it was expected.

Mags had once said to you that The Hunger Games changed everyone in some way or another. She had said that nobody came out unscathed. You couldn't have possibly understood what she meant; at the time, you were only fresh out of the arena and the prospect of what was to come was the last thing on your mind.

The first few weeks back home had been easy. You simply woke up, fell back into your usual routine with Finnick, and tried to go back to being normal, blissfully unaware that there would never be a day where you would feel anywhere close to normal again.

Your victory tour was when it began. You had been forced to face the families of the fallen tributes, some of whom had died at your hands. Then the nightmares started, and the insomnia, and the overwhelming fear that you would never feel better again. It started slowly. It crept up on you, like a shadow that grows as the sun comes out from behind the clouds.

So, when Finnick asks why you did it, it's a lie to say you don't know. It would be more fitting to say you just don't know where to start. It's hard to explain how you feel both everything and nothing all at once. It's something that you don't understand yourself, so how on earth is anyone else meant to know what you mean?

You didnt expect to wake up, so when your eyes flutter open and you see Finnick with his head in his hands by your beside, dread floods your veins. You know that Finnick has every right to be angry, but the mere thought makes you want to be sick.

Finnick's sea-green eyes snap up when you toss in the bed. His hand flies out to grip your own, his grasp firm and tight around your fingers, as if he's afraid that you'll slip away if he lets go. "Hi," he whispers, voice hoarse from not speaking for so long.

"Hi," you whisper, rolling onto your side to get a better look at him. There's dark circles under his puffy eyes and his pretty pink lips are tipped down in a frown. A lump starts to form in your throat and it borders on painful as you try to swallow it down. You shift uncomfortably.

Finnick's brows knit together. "Are you in pain? Should I call a doctor?" His voice is soft and gentle, more gentle than you deserve, and that's the final thing to push you over the edge. Tears spill out over your waterline. "Oh, honey," he whispers, climbing onto the double and nestling in beside you. He pulls you into his warm arms and you go willingly, melting into his touch.

"I'm sorry," you murmur, burying your face in his white shirt so you don't have to look at him.

Unfortunately for you, Finnick knows exactly what you're trying to do. He coaxes you to pull away slightly and when you do, he tips your chin up with his pointer finger and thumb, forcing you to look him in the eye. "You don't have to apologise, baby."

"You're not mad?"

Finnick sighs. "I'm not gonna sit here and say that I'm thrilled you tried to kill yourself. I'm mad at the situation but I'm not mad at you, baby. I just-" he blows air out through his lips. " Why didn't you talk to me?"

This time when you try shrink away from his gaze, he lets you. Your response comes muffled into the fabric of his t-shirt. "I don't know. I-- I wasn't thinking. I mean, I was, I knew what I was doing, but it was like I was moving on autopilot. It didn't really sink in until after I'd done it. I know I'm not making much sense. I just-- I wanted it to stop."

Finnick kisses the top of your head. "You wanted what to stop, honey?"

"I just wanted everything to stop. I felt so lonely and I..."

Finnick sucks in a breath and unsteadily blows it back out. "Okay." He kisses the top of your head once more and breathes in the smell of your vanilla shampoo. "Okay," he repeats, smoothing his fingers through your hair. "I just... I wish you'd told me, 'cause you're not alone. No matter how alone you feel, I promise you're not alone."

[coolprettyleo]

the traffic lights didn't know - begin again au ☆

wc: 1.2k

tw: depression. heartbroken. lmk if theres more

hughes sister x ryan leonard

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frankie hughes was in a weird place in her life.

she didnt have the feeling of dreading to go to hockey practice anymore, and call her crazy she missed that feeling. not the sport, she wanted the sport dead in a ditch for what it did to her, but she missed the feeling of hating something so much.

she thought about directing her anger towards drew. but she was way to heartbroken to do that. she wanted to erase all her thoughts of drew, but he invaded every inch of her; her heart, hips, body, and love. there wasn't anything he didnt touch or get too.

frankie was starting to get depressed because she felt like her days were on repeat. over and over again. the only light of her day was when she would see ryan, or whenever he texted her back, and depending your overall happiness on a boy was not in any way smart.

she felt like nothing in her life was okay and resorted to asking the traffic lights if it was all going to be okay. news flash! they didn't know.

at the moment though, she was dressing up for a lunch...meeting with ryan. she wanted to say date, but ryan wanted nothing to do with her romantically, till she was fully over drew.

she wasn't but she thought she was. which is why she had been feeling blue. its not like she still wanted drew though. she just felt embarrassed and insecure. and the fact the reason he didnt want her, was because she was dumb?

I mean frankie knew she was ditzy. her family has always said that her blonde was showing, whenever she was being slow. but thats just family teasing. hearing other people talk about how dumb you are makes you want to crumble and die.

she was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a buzz coming from her bed. it was her phone, which had a text from ryan, saying he was outside.

she quickly finished applying her lip combo and sprayed her favorite perfume, and rushed out. her favorite handbag of course coming in tow.

she loved when her and ryan, were able to hangout. he was always busy and his schedule was always jam-packed so days like these were the best because she finally got too go out and enjoy life.

she had been trying to enjoy it on her own though, she's resorted to taking the long way home from class.

"hi ry" frankie said as she got into his car.

"hey, why are you all dressed? you know were only going to chipotle"

"yes i know. i can read! i honestly just dressed to kill my time. a girl just cant get all cute for no reason?"

"no- I mean- you can. you look cute- i mean you look good." Ryan stumbled face red as he drove.

frankie loved how he'd get all flustered.

"you think I look cute" frankie said, she needed that compliment really bad.

"yeah, you always look cute" softly smiling as he looked over at her, at the red light.

this is why she loved to see ryan. he always put her in the best moods. he made her want to break through the windows she had boarded up and see the love the world was capable of giving. he had the goofiest, cutest smile and freckles that made her want to kiss everyone of them.

she hadn't realized they were starring at each other, till the car behind them honked and cut them out of their trance. both of them turning away with red faces.

"are gabe, will, and jacob coming today?" frankie asked as they pulled into the parking lot. she liked to hang around them, they were all so funny and in a way reminded her of her brothers.

"uhm no, I thought it could be just me and you today. if thats okay- I can call them to come. but lowkey will and gabe are busy with class, but I can make jacob, if that would make you feel bette-"

"ryan! im okay with just us two" she said laughing at his rambling.

"sorry" he cringed.

he opened the door for her, as they walked into chipotle.

and load and behold, drew was in there. laughing with aram in all his glory. she felt like she saw drew everywhere, and the only thing they shared was this damn campus.

she looked back at ryan with a glare.

"did you know?" frankie asked as he followed her sight too drew and aram.

"I swear I didn't. I wouldn't do that to you. we can go somewhere else" he said hoping he didn't just ruin all his chances with her.

as much as frankie wanted to run away and get drunk, she knew the morning would be right around the corner and it wasn't going to change anything. he still wouldn't be hers; not that she wanted him to be.

"no, its fine" she said still walking in. ryan following after her like a puppy. they both ordered and as she was paying she heard ryan dabbing them up.

"you guys wanna sit with us?" drew said motioning over to frankie. he honestly didnt think there was a problem within them.

"uhm-" ryan looked back at her.

"we already planned on going to the park" ryan said as he waved goodbye to them and met frankie whereas she had been filling her water cup, that was full of sprite. she refused to pay for a drink.

"where we sitting" she smiled at him.

"I actually thought we could go to centennial park" he said as he guided her out.

"what- I was fine with sitting in there" frankie said feeling her heart drop because maybe ryan was embarrassed to be seen with her in front of drew.

"drew asked me if we wanted to sit with him"

"oh."

"yeah, I didnt think you wanted too"

"I could of sucked it up"

"you dont have to though"

"no- I want too. I need you to know and see that im over him"

ryan sighed. he knew she wasn't, and he wanted believe her, but he knew her all too well.

"okay" ryan said to frankie.

"okay?" frankie asked confused.

"your over drew"

"I've been saying that"

"then go on a date with me?" ryan asked.

frankie hesiated. did she really want to start this relationship with ryan on a bad foot? it was all going to go bad if it was doomed from the start. she didnt have any romantic feelings left over for drew, but every time she saw him, she had to act like everything was okay; when it wasn't.

"see I knew it! theres my answer" ryan said pulling frankie out of her thoughts.

"ryan" she sighed. if the story was over why was she still writing pages?

"its okay frankie. i already told you i'd wait for you, however long it takes" ryan said looking at her seriously.

her heart fluttered at that, and she softly smiled at him.

"i won't make you wait long leonard" she said pholding out her pinky.

"and I'll hold you too that" he said locking it around hers.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

this idea came from @crazy4minty !! she ate with this lol. i had never made the connection... im seriously thinking about renaming the au to death by a thousand cuts. anyways I have a really bad fever right now, so im probably done with writing for today! <3

[badgyalshii]

ITS NEVER OVER | II

Paul Atreides x Reader (always safe for POCS+ Plus size)

2.6k word count

warnings! idk really you tell me lmao. just sad really, flashbacks, etc. proofread, uhhh most of it.

A/N: im so happy i got the results that I did in the first part, im thinking of starting a taglist for this series maybe so just send me an ask saying you wanna be in there and i gotchuuuu! thank you to everyone who reads my stories, i was supposed to post this yesterday but i was pretty busy. i am overall happy with how this series is going! i was gonna leave it simple and end it here, but honestly i feel like i could keep going with this, love you guysss!😘

Access Part I here. I . II . III . IV .

¨its just protocol¨ ¨it wasnt necessary, i watched. Ive watched you, standing behind you. Who are you, paul?¨

¨y/n? Helloooo, y/n¨ chani waved her hand in your face as the memory slowly faded and you came back to your vision and seeing chani infront of you. You both laid on the small bed, hot when the sun was up or down. Chani wanted more, she swore she did. When she wasnt talking to you she was searching for something to make this ¨house¨ feel comforting, like a home. You closed your eyes as the flashback completely faded in your head. You both were laying down, she was across from you with a worried look on her face as you blinked. ¨yes chani?¨ ¨are you prepared?¨ she asked. You struggled to remember what she was talking about, and her concerned look never left her face. ¨To leave¨ chani whispers gently. She knew you still had feelings for paul, and she couldnt fight to win you over in your constant mental battle. You never felt like this before. Wanting only one person- no, needing them. Under your eyes grew heavier and heavier. Days grew longer and you hardly slept and when you did it was of paul, had you have no life of your own? Have you grown depressed? You sighed, stood and you dressed, taking a deep breath in as you pulled up your pants and grabbed your mask.

Its been 6 years, 6 years on arrakis with chani, and you never forgot. You never forgot the life that you used to have, the life you missed so deprately, and you never came to terms with your new life, even if it was with chani. You missed stilgar, you missed everyone, grouped together, eating, small laughs between you and your friends, paul picking at your plate whenever you didnt really feel like finishing your food. You loved chani, you love her, youve became closer and closer like sisters. She taught you her own individual skills that shes learned along the way, but you guys barely talked. Her company was comforting, but all you really thought about was paul, and his new marriage, and his new wife. Was it just…..protocol? You could tell when you spoke to chani that she was extremely uninterested in the topic of paul, but thats all you ever thought about.

You found another place in arrakis, it took about 6 sandworms to get to your destination and you lived in once again, another large rock. You and chani hunted for water and when you found it you both started to make another ¨tent¨ in the rock to live at for a while. You both sat down and ate.

¨whats on your mind?¨ chani asked worryingly, she worried, she worried so often. She only wanted whats best for you and it hurt to see you this way but she covered it with her toughness. ¨paul. Maybe he was right-¨ ¨y/n, it has been six years since then. Please-¨

¨maybe… i should go¨ you thickly swallowed, looking at your hands before you looked back up at her. Her jaw was clenched before she released it, she has an irritated look on her face before she released her eyebrows. ¨im coming with you”

As you got dressed to go back to him, you thought of him. Maybe it was because of the way he laughed so softly against your lips that made you miss him. Maybe its because of how his warm and rough fingers softly grazed your face and on your body sending butterflies in your stomach and tiny shocks wherever his loving touch landed, eager to touch you, the way his green but now electric blue eyes looked at you with pure admiration. He was so perfect. Everything you wouldbe thought you wanted on paper was right infront of you, waiting on you. You couldnt lie, you were excited to see him and thankful chani allowed you to go back. You wondered about him, wondered how he looked now, was he more mature? Did his voice get deeper? was it just protocol? Did you make a mistake? Is he safe? Is he still there? Does he still love you?

Anxiety crept through your throat before you swallowed it back down. Chani was already ready to go as soon as she shes going with you. You looked at her, she was sitting outside of the giant rock, waiting for you and if she wasnt already so smart, she turned feeling eyes on her back almost as if she could sense you, one eyebrow raised as she then crossed her arms and leaned on her left foot. You sighed before picking up your things, walking up to chani she put her hand on your shoulder and patted it. ¨can we just sit here? we just got here! look at the view¨ she said before crossing her arms again and looking at you with a smile.

The view was clearly beautiful. The sun coming down as it usually does but in this particular rock, there was something different about the scenery. ¨pretty cool for a shit planet¨ you muttered, dropping your things before you got down and sat criss cross. Chani joined you, enjoyed the view for a little longer before she looked over at you.

¨why do you like him so much, Paul?¨ she questioned kindly, usually she didnt like talking about him, she was never a fan. You looked at her, studying her face you could see she had a serious face beside her eye slightly winched from the sun, she waiting on your answer before she lifting her knee and laid on her elbow. you sighed before sitting with your legs flat out with your hands in your lap, it wasnt a hard question, it just caught you off guard. Why were you so attracted to him? . ¨i….i dont know, actually¨ you looked back into the view, chewing on the side of your cheek before continuing. ¨its not everyday you get a new comer who is so emotionally strong but you could see he is so lost in those gorgeous eyes. Someone so intelligent, beautiful, kind, and wise. Who wants to learn and is¨ you did an exaggerated sigh before raising your fingers to quote ¨so humble, as stilgar says¨ chani laughs before laying flat out. ¨he was new, wasnt like us. us growing up, we were used to the same routine, everyone around everyone. So when he got here, when he wanted me.. I just…felt…different. Everything felt different¨ a small smile played on your face as you thought of him.

“ever thought of kids?” paul asked, playing with your hair. “why are you thinking of kids in your current situation, paul? wouldnt that be too much?” you reply, your arm laid across him and your head in his chest. he chuckled in return, you felt his heartbeat skip and pitter patter before you felt the vibrations from his voice, “i wouldnt wanna have a kid unless its yours, y/n” and with that you smiled and looked up at him, pressing a kiss to his lips before he wrapped his arms around your waist to flip you guys over, you both chuckled before paul pulled up the sheets.

You wanted to feel his warm embrace again. You wanted him again. ¨i had a vision- well a dream that one day, he would be ruler. Be so wise and so gentle, which he already is. But i would be at his side, carrying his kids. Happy family. Getting to see his eyes… looking into him and only seeing love, i wouldnt ever grow tired of it. Y/N atredies, queen of atredies, me and him. You and stilgar, everyone around each other. Happy family, happy life. Of course war, but-¨ you cut yourself off, ¨i just want love, ever since i experieced it with him, its hard to let go. He teached me genuine love, nothing less, nothing more. The way he was so honest. How could i ever let that go?¨ you questioned, a puzzled look on your face as you waited on chani to answer. She took a pause, she once again looked back at the view before looking at you.

¨you do understand that he isnt the same anymore, right?¨”she said, looking up. ¨i understand,¨ you nodded, �� and i saw it, when he said he was waiting for me. He changed when he drunk the water of life. I dont think he really… values relationships anymore. I remember, i remember before he drunk the water, way before. He would tell me about these nightmares he had and how he was going to do everything to stop it¨ you pursed your lips to the side, as the conversation flowed, your confidence in your relationship was going lower and lower. As much as you didnt want to hear it, you needed to. ¨he lost himself, y/n¨ chani says. ¨are you sure when you walk back into his life hes gonna be the same old paul?¨

You bit your lip before looking down at your hands and let out a breath, ¨thats what were going to find out, right?¨ ¨to be honest,¨ chani sighed and put her hands behind he head, looking at the ceiling of the rock. ¨ i dont really trust him, never did. nor do i like him. He took advantage of us y/n. Tricked us, making us fight for him¨ chani said without filter. ¨he is the preacher, its written. I believe in him¨ you said pridefully, showing humility as you will always stand behind your one true love. ¨you got your sight taken by the vision of love¨ chani looks at you, she felt bad that you were so blind. But you were often like this, always have been. Soft, sensitive, caring. Its true, you and muad´dib are perfect for each other, chani could see that, but you honestly didnt wanna talk about it if she wasnt even gonna try to understand. ¨white savior¨ she finishes and looks up at the ceiling of the rock again before she looks back into the distance. ¨i love him¨ that was your finishing statement.

It was as if nothing faded, like you didnt grow, like you saw paul yesterday, like you never left. Chani felt so bad, so bad that you kept searching for paul in sleepless nights. But she also felt slightly angry, as if she didnt take you under her wing and teach you something brand new, a new way of life. It was like you totally discarded it, like you didnt want it, you didnt want to. Paul or nothing. Did you not value chanis friendship? Her love? She would never ask, shes too dominate for that. But it bothered her.

¨we should leave before it gets too late¨ chani mutters, letting out a slight groan before she stood and wiped her hands off on the pockets of her pants. You followed suit and picked up your bag before something dropped. It was pauls necklace, a family heirloom he trusted you with, he wanted you to have it. You looked at it before picking it up, rubbing over it and placing it over your neck before following chani.

The sand crunched against your shoes as you followed her, she was silent as she held the tools to get a sandworm. It was offly hot today and you both lacked water so she viewed it at that point, she already discussed with you that she wasnt gonna work for muad´dib, wasnt gonna fight for him, only gonna fight for her people. You looked at her, the sweatbeads on her forehead visible but it didnt make her look bad. You sat while you waited for the sandworm to appear.

When you arrived the foundation looked huge, guards around the premises dressed in black, all tall, muscular, and you could easily tell they were worthy of their place. ¨follow me¨ chani said, her walk bold and strong as you followed behind her in suit. Chani walked up the the guard and the guard had a strong bold look. ¨who are you?¨ the guard asked. ¨chani¨ she replied, taking off the mask that covered her eyes. ¨freman¨ he muttered, he looked over chanis shoulder and saw you. ¨and you?¨ he questioned, ¨freman¨ you replied. He stepped aside and allowed you both to enter. Chani pushed the door open, coming inside and you followed.

You werent used to this, spending all your life living in a rock. The walls were long and you looked at them, wanting to touch them, study the whole place. But there was something else you wanted to see to, the love of your life. ¨y/n, im gonna try to find stilgar. Be safe¨ chani whispered to you. ¨chani, this is home. Everyone we know is here, this is family¨ you said with a smile on your face. ¨its been six years. Foundations couldve changed, family couldve changed. Who knows what paul did, y/n¨ she said stern. You nodded your heard and she did too, leaving you off to find the one you wanted to see do desperately.

You walked, the building was so silent that you could hear your own footsteps, sand fell off your shoes as you walked, leaving a trail. A smile played on your lips as you walked throught the halls, checking every door, seeing your people. You asked them, ¨wheres paul?¨ in return they smiled, ¨not so sure. I dont even know where his room is at. Maybe check the throne room. Honestly, i havent seen him in a long time, y/n¨ and you did, no one was there. You furrowed your eyebrows and continued to look through the rooms, paul just wasnt there. Your happiness sooned turn into sadness and insecurity. Tears were on the edge of brimming your eyes. You exiteded the castle and sat down, leaning against the wall. You held your knees up to your chest and put your head on your forearms.

Where is he? Wheres chani? This is his place he cant be impossible to find, can he? Why cant i find him? Wheres his wife? All these thoughts coursed through your head as you waited, you ended up falling asleep, outside.

¨y/n?¨ you heard. Your neck had a crane as you looked up. ¨y/n!¨ it was a voice you recognized, ¨why are you outside?¨ they laughed, you finally looked up after rubbing your eyes and it was stilgar. ¨stilgar!¨ you yelled, he came down to your level and hugged you. He laughed ¨look at you, all dirty¨ he wiped your face. ¨wheres paul?¨ you questioned, his smile dropped and his eyebrows furrowed. This took you aback, ¨wheres paul? I was gonna ask you that¨ he mutters, wiping the dirt off of your cheek. You dropped his hand and looked at him with desperate eyes, ¨what-what do you mean?¨ you asked, desperate for an answer. ¨paul left 2 years ago, y/n. He said when he came back, he would come back with you¨” stilgar looks down as he reveals, you stood, paced, questioned. ¨he said he would wait for me- i….i dont understand! Stilgar¨ you let out a whine, trying to fight the tears. ¨where is he? Stilgar please, please!¨ you begged, dropping to your knees. Stilgar couldnt muster to come up with anything to say. In honesty, he mightve been more sad than you. The messiah is gone, lost. No where to be found. How could he find him? Where could he possibly be? Two years. Two. this was like heartbreak all over again. Before, you knew he was alive, but now. You know nothing. Should you go back? Is he still searching for you?

[toysrguts]

smiling friends headcanons!! :D

i have smiling friends brainrot

allan:

•wine is his de-stresser. after a long shift he likes to go home and sip on a glass of wine while watching shit TV like some kind of cool guy

•doesn't smoke cigarettes often but will bum one off of charlie sometimes during their breaks

•bites people he loves :)

•perhaps his dr. monsters appointment with dr. monster was an appointment to assess him for OCD

•very very particular about the way he likes things and hates unexpected change in his routine

•also a math god he's like a walking calculator

•always helping other people reach things that they cant

•he has to be like 6’3 or something probably

•autism be damned my boy can work a grill (he can cook really well)

•in fact hes often the one cooking meals for the other smiling friends

•he also lovessss to garden its one of his favorite hobbies

•he grows his own vegetables to cook with and flowers to decorate his home :)

•i feel like this man would get down to some queen or duran duran

•he’ll listen to pretty much anything but i feel like he would gravitate towards 80s classics

•used to own a car that he loved but it broke down and he never bought another one

•went to school for engineering and started volunteering at smiling friends after graduating as kind of a placeholder job, but loved it so much it became his full time job

•cheese is his safe food

•had to wear glasses when he was younger but felt like they deterred the ladies so he switched to wearing contacts

•probably drinks black coffee like a fucking freak

•either that or he adds oat milk

•hes pretty anxious and freaks out a lot and will also snap if he has sensory overload

•wears noise canceling headphones a lot cause too much noise drives him insane

•HATES fabric touching his skin but will still wear a tie cause “it’s classy” and will wear clothes if hes out in public

•once took a trip to france and almost didnt come back cuz it was like cheese heaven

•goes clubbing during some of his nights off and is a karaoke GOD

•also goated at chess and gets heated during a game of scrabble

charlie:

•definitely sneaks a cart into work every day

•if allan didn’t cook this dude would go into debt from ordering takeout every day

•was raised mostly by his uncle cause his parents werent always around, and they're more like really good friends now that hes older

•grew up poor and had a pretty hard childhood overall but he doesn't dwell on it too much

•relieves his stress and frustration by terrorizing people in fortnite lobbies

•the smiling friends hq is air conditioned 24/7 per his request, he's heat sensitive and sweats EXCESSIVELY

•uses axe body spray to mask the stench

•his living conditions are depressing to look at, the only furniture in his apartment is a mattress and an old camping chair he borrowed from his uncle years ago

•also probably owns a shelf dedicated to lego builds

•he spends like 90% of his time in his bed if not working

•his morning routine consists of waking up disoriented asf, throwing on some clothes laying on the floor, forgetting to brush his teeth and walking out the door

•was exposed to shock sites wayyy too young

•acted out and got in trouble a lot in his adolescence but now just likes to keep to himself for the most part

•believe it or not he was baptized as a baby

•started caring about life a little more ever since experiencing hell

•feel like he likes music his uncle showed him as a kid, maybe judas priest and whitesnake type shit

•doesn’t even have to say anything when he goes to salty’s cause hes a regular and they know his exact order

•thats a bisexual man if ive ever seen one

•the hat hides his receding hairline lul

•has a fat ass surgical scar on his nose from when james ripped it off

•wears the same beat up white adidas shoes and got in highschool

•owns one of those “dubstep, weed and jacking off” shirts

•hes an only child but pim is like a brother to him

•had a family dog growing up and is a dog person overall

pim:

•begs to play roblox when anyone else is playing video games in the office

•curls up into a ball when he sleeps

•also will freak out without a night light

•his room is definitely littered with stuffed animals

•grew up watching mlp (g1) and probably still owns some pony figures

•and says “hello everypony!!” when entering a room

•played a LOT of browser and flash games as a youngster like club penguin and moviestar planet

•genuinely finds beauty in everything i wish i was on his level of joy and whimsey

•would totally listen to vocaloid and would totally go on a super long tangent about how its so cool and holograms are so cool

•also has a collection of light sticks and miku plushies and definitely kisses his miku poster goodnight

•i feel like he ate paint chips as a child

•craves social interaction cuz his parents had a rocky marriage and were neglectful and his sister treated him like shit when they were kids

•his sister would tug on his nerve ending when she got annoyed

•having a rough upbringing and dysfunctional family is what pushed him to start working for smiling friends, hes genuinely passionate about making people smile and just wants to help people who are in bad situations like he was

•prone to panic attacks :(

•sings little songs to calm himself down

•flails his arms or jumps around when hes excited

•still uses pool floaties when swimming lmao

•also still loves to dress up and play pretend as an adult

•mmmmm loves sweets what is a nutritious meal?????

•wore glasses growing up but just kind of stopped for some reason probably cuz his eyes are fucking massive

glep:

•chronic cyberbully-er

•tells people to kts in his gibberish language when they annoy him

•has most likely caused several wars across the globe

•puts whatever he wants on the tv and then hides the remote and watches everyone fight over who took it

•small but lets out the most diabolical burps imaginable

•is fluent in every single language on earth and probably space too

•absolutely brainrotted from that ipad he wont stop watching skibidi toilet

•unties peoples shoes when theyre not paying attention

•little guy has never known sobriety in his life

•has so many random ass pictures and videos saved on his tablet

•hes like a little vlogger

•if someone says or does something he doesnt like he’ll probably hire a hitman on them

•definitely has access to the deep web

•hates gardening but will help allan out with it once in a while for something in return (like a grilled cheese or some weed or something)

•also will sit next to allan while hes cooking so he can eat all the scraps

[sable-skies]

thought abt an au i doodled up months ago but never fully explored, so here's some concept designs for that. im gonna ramble about it now

+ height comparison under the keep reading!

god okay i gotta admit: i, unfortunately, kinda love game of thrones. truthfully i dont care for the sex and inc*st part of the show, but i really enjoy the interconnected weaving plot lines, drama, and utter bullshit that happens in that show. its amazing, i love it, its so fucking stupid. so earlier this year i doodled up some ideas for a game of thrones inspired post-totk au. those are here, and here!

I then dropped it and didnt return to it until now, because i started season 2 of house of the dragon and yknow. why not.

as for actual details about the au: i said in the past it was a got-loz au, but im gonna go ahead and say that i misspoke then because i mean more like, post-totk/loz au INSPIRED by got, because i would never want to do a 1-to-1 au of that god awful show. i mostly think exploring a hyrule that is peaceful, but secretly on the brink of civil chaos and how bad humanity could truly get would be really fun to explore!

i struggled to pick a single role for link to have in such an au, so i said fuck it and divided him up into four parts, in universe the hero's spirit has been split amongst four brothers. to nod towards this, and because i'm cheeky as hell, the first letters of each of their names spells link. Laurent, Irving, Nymos, and Kiran. (im so fucking funny (<- is not funny))

they're all noble born to Arthur Hearth, current lord of House Hearth which basically controls and sits on the Great Plateau, and their mother was Eyla, a member of the Sheikah from Kakariko Village who unfortunately passed away shortly after Kiran was born. Arthur btw is named after the King Arthur legends from Europe, as those served as inspiration for the series in general!

I think a plot would follow them all after the death of their father and how they cope with it and move forward, and how they combat suddenly being labeled traitors to the kingdom for their father's acclaimed crimes.

this is getting long, so I'll do some misc bullet points next on their personalities:

Laurent, as the oldest, had to mature pretty quickly after the death of their mother, Eyla. Which has caused him to grow protective of his younger brothers almost to an overbearing degree. He gets nervous when they're not home, which sucks because Irving is a knight, Nymos studies in Kakariko often, and Kiran wants to explore the world via the survey team. Other then that, he's responsible, quite serious in most situations, and still very kind hearted. After his father's death he starts to spiral into a rage-filled depression, determined to get his brothers back and make the king pay for killing his father.

Irving is the most middle child ever. Due to Laurent being in line for lord of their house and is never gonna back down from that, he sought his own purpose in being a royal knight / royal guardsman / kingsguard. It hasn't really worked out well for him honestly, his higher ups hate him for being Arthur's son, seemingly so naturally talented in combat, and charismatic amongst the ranks that some knights ignore their orders just to follow Irving's instead. So as punishment he's been assigned as the former princess Zelda's bodyguard / retainer. While it disappointed him to not serve his full duties at first, he's come to accept it and treats her kindly. He's proud, a little over-confident, just, and secretly a bleeding heart. After the death of their father, he's forced to choose between his family and Zelda, and knowing that Zelda will most likely die without him, he stays with her.

Nymos, oh poor fucking Nymos dude. As a child he fell into the depths and somehow survived, which was fine, but then he came across a patch of gloom that seemingly never faded, and ever since he's been cursed with doomed visions of the future and a talent for magic. No one believes him about the lingering gloom, and claims that he simply has PTSD from the incident in general, but he knows what he saw. He's sought out magical-based physical therapy in Kakariko because of this, and he's pretty much regarded as a local there. He's quiet, a bit withdrawn, pessimistic, but has a strong sense of justice and genuinely wants the best for those around him, even if he doesn't know how to say it properly. When Laurent and Irving are away, he's the one looking after Kiran and keeping him safe. When his father dies, he immediately starts to investigate the current monarchy for signs of dark magic tampering, which leads him down a rabbit hole he never even knew existed, all the while he's being tormented by visions of his brother dying gruesome and horrible deaths. he's forever an internal nervous WRECK

Kiran!! The baby!! Might be the most dangerous brother of the four, but we'll cover that later. As the resident youngest sibling he's naturally gotten away with pretty much everything and anything, because who can say no to those big baby blues. Thankfully he's not actually that destructive or ill-mannered, but he isn't above pulling a prank on someone for the fun of it. He yearns to leave home and explore the vast continent of Hyrule though, and shortly before everything goes wrong he's accepted into the Survey Team and gets to enjoy it for a bit. He's excitable, energetic, optimistic, and somewhat a handful (get this teen a child leash please) but he means well and is determined to get whatever is on his mind done and finished. He's the last to be told his father is dead as his team didn't tell him about the incident until suddenly there's a group of bandits attacking them and demanding they had Kiran over for ransom. Kiran goes willingly of course, as he doesn't want his team members to get hurt. He later falls into the depths and survives via the sail cloth around his shoulders and meets a strange little fox he calls Todd.

I have so many notes in my head about these guys but again, i'll shut up for now :] here are the heights!

btw; they're all based on a previous incarnation of link and a got character, if you figure it out I'll shake ur hand.

[outsidersstuff16]

can you do a darry x reader birthday smut

It was your 19th birthday, hooray! Or so you thought when you woke up. Today was a horrible day, your car broke down, you mom and dad couldn't get the time to call you and wish you a happy birthday, your friends took you to lunch and then left you the bill. It was just a big train wreck of a day. All you wanted to do was rub and hide in your buff boyfriend arms but you couldn't do that either. He was at his roofing job. You laid in bed feeling kinda depressed and couldn't get Darry and his pretty cock out of your head. The more you thought about it, the hornier you got. Before you knew it, you were rubbing your clit and muttering and moaning out his name. You were home alone so it wasn't like anyone could hear you, or so you thought. Darry had come and was down stairs with flowers and a small pendant he had purchased you for you birthday, it took him 3 paychecks to save up for both items. When Darry had heard his name being moaned out he had a good, general idea as of what was going on. He took off his work boots and put the items down on your kitchen counter before walking upstairs to your room. He opened the door quietly and walked over to your bed. He took your hand away from clit.

"Havin fun without me, baby? I don't think so." He said sternly before getting on your bed and setting you in his lap. He reached his calloused hand and started rubbing on your clit using his middle finger. "Lets have birthday sex, baby... I'll make it so good" he said persuadingly. Whithout a second thoughtz you agreed by nodding softly. He laid down on your bed and gave you a look.

"What..?" You asked confused about the look he was giving you.

"Ride my face, baby." He said softly yet demandingly. You did as he said, you hovered about 6 inches above his face, which didn't appeal to him at all.

"Baby, i said ride my face not the air." He said smartly, you didn't wanna crush his face. You went down softly, you stopped when you were about 4 inches above his face. He wasn't telling you again, he put his large hands on the top of your upper thighs, pulling you down fully on his face. The second his tongue met your tight hole he decided to go no mercy. He traced his tongue to find your clit before starting to suck on your clit, he licked and played with your poor pussy until you had cum. You had expected a small break in between like he always did but instead, after you got off of his face, he rushed his t-shirt and jeans off and got between your legs. He shoved his fully erect cock into your tight hole. He didnt even bother with a condom. He rammed and bullied his cock into your without any mercy. You felt like your pussy was on fire. He had grabbed your nipple and played with it gently as he continued his ruthless pumping. He was gonna fuck you so good, it was gonna be the best birthday sex you would ever have for the rest of your life. He left hickies, bite marks and hand prints all over you. Soon enough the two of you finished. "Good birthday sex, baby.. amazing.." he said softly. The two of you had fallen asleep together. Maybe this day wasn't gonna get worse; you thought to yourself.

The End

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at my husband for spending "my" money for a part?

My husband stalks the actual AITA reddit so I am using my friend's account here as she has shown me these.

I (25m) have a husband, Liam (25m), and we have a daughter (just turned 2). When I first married Liam, I truly loved him, but I'm not sure now. We have ups and downs and I suffered from postpartum depression and I know Liam has said i was a handful then.

We are almost at five years of marriage. When we got married I had a job, which I left when me and Liam moved for his promotion across the country. Liam encouraged me to stay home and watch our dogs, which then translated to watching our daughter after we had her. I have tried to get a job multiple times, for example I had an interview and missed it because our car wouldn't start (Liam worked on it when he got home thst night and fixed it, but they wouldn't let me interview again). One time we all came down with covid. Just normal life things that occur.

Liam has discouraged me from getting a job, saying he makes enough to support us and wants me to be with our daughter. I do love being with her, but I feel unfulfilled and want to work. I tried to sell stuff online, but we decided it was too expensive to continue. Liam finally agreed for me to get a job, I got an interview and they offered me the job, but I just found out I am pregnant. The job is very labor intensive and my first pregnancy was not easy, Liam doesn't want me to accept and I am inclined not to, but I want to earn my own money.

Well, our heater unexpectedly went out and we had to pay for the part to fix it. Except, instead of using the joint account he used my account. Liam told me that it is his money and he can spend it how he pleases. I yelled at him that I would have money if I was able to get a job, and he told me I was being too hormonal because of the baby and needed to look at things logically. I told him to fuck off. I said some other things in anger, and I'll be honest i don't remember exactly what I said but i didnt think it was that bad, but Liam won't tell me. He says it was absolutely terrible and i must not love him to say what I did and that my brain fog is just me blaming the pregnancy. He has since slept in the guest room while I sleep in our room. I apologized for yelling but told him I still wanted a job, he says that isnt a real apology. AITA?

My friend says to add this here for context:

We have three accounts, they all are joint accounts. The first is a checking which is what we take our rent, bills, etc out of and what the part should have come out of. Then we have the first saving account which is his account. Then there is the second checking account which is considered mine. He puts money in it weekly for me to spend on groceries and our daughter. Anything extra I don't spend I get to keep.

What are these acronyms?

[atinyniki]

stay with me...

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!lee felix x f!reader

genre: angst with an angsty ending, fluff at the beginning

warnings + additional info: pt 2 of “instant ramen”!, reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, felix is referred to as lix, and lixie, petnames, pregnancy, miscarriage, post-loss depression, crying, vomiting, death.

authors note: all i can say is sorry. i dont know why exactly i thought of this but im planning on making a pt 3. hopefully this doesnt break your heart :( ending was a bit rushed bc i didnt feel like crying anymore :( this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 2407

(pt. 1) || (pt. 3)

HUGE TW, PROCEED WITH CAUTION: miscarriage, pregnancy, blood, and the pain that goes along with it.

“lixieee im home!”

you came home with such a big smile on your face. you were a little grumpy about work, your mood swings not making things any better, and you felt a little sick. nonetheless, you were still excited to come home to your boyfriend.

“hey pretty! i’m making some brownies, just give me a bit yeah? they’ll be done in 20”

you walk over to him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek and thanking him before leaving to your room to go shower. 

throwing off your clothes, you enter the shower rather quickly, hoping that it will refresh you enough. you run the vanilla shampoo through your hair, the feeling of the bubbles running down your back relaxing you. 

all of a sudden, the scent of vanilla hits your nose, an uneasy feeling washing over you. you finish your shower as fast as you can, putting on your clothes and then rushing out the bathroom. maybe you were just hungry?

“hey lix”, you said with a weak smile, sitting down at the table where he was waiting with leftovers from yesterday and his brownies. 

“hey angel, you hungry now?”

“mhm…”

he dumps the food out onto your plates, but you grab a brownie before even looking at the food. felix’s brownies could never get old. you take a bite, the warm fudge practically melting in your mouth.

you enjoyed the brownie, and felix began to pick one up, when suddenly your eyes went wide. the same terrible feeling was back, except stronger now. you tried to fight it by swallowing the part of the brownie that was already in your mouth.

the feeling didn’t leave, and you found yourself scrambling to your feet to stand up. “baby… what’s wrong?”

you couldn’t answer, afraid that the bits of your brownie would end up on him, and instead ran to the kitchen sink. felix made sure to follow behind just as fast. the second you got to the sink, you were letting go. 

felix watched as you vomited out the brownie and the rest of the food you had today, quickly grabbing your hair so it wouldn’t get in the way. his other hand ran soothing circles around your back, hoping to calm you down.

you threw up with such force that bile shot out your nose, felix now becoming even more concerned. once you’ve calmed down and washed your face, felix finally speaks up. “let’s get you to bed baby.”, he sighs lightly.

he quickly picks you up bridal style, setting you down on your bed carefully. you let out a little whine when felix left, but quickly returned with an emergency bucket. “just in case”, he said with a sweet smile.

he brought the hair dryer from the bathroom, not wanting you to get sick from the cold, and quickly blow dried your hair. he didnt work on styling it, wanting you to get rest as soon as possible.

he quickly runs to grab you a jug of warm water to place on your tummy. you loved that he was so attentive to you, especially on days he was back at home. “i love you lix. i’m sorry for what happened”

“it’s not like you could control it dummy, go to sleep now. i love you”

that morning, felix woke up to an empty bed. the bucket next to you was filled to the brim with bile, felix instantly darting to the bathroom. his heart broke seeing you on the floor, vomiting into the toilet as you shook violently.

he quickly held your hair back again, rubbing the soft part of your tummy to soothe it. “baby what’s going on? did you eat something?”

you shook your head, not trusting your own words in case vomit came out instead. you’re tired, completely worn out. it feels like all the energy in your body has just left you. 

suddenly, a wave of realization comes over you, and you begin to panic. you’re constantly vomiting. you have terrible mood swings. you didn’t get your period. everything lines up perfectly.

your breaths become labored, soon becoming large gasps for breath. “felix- i…”

he begins to become extremely worried. “what baby? what’s wrong?”

“i…”; you can’t go on. you’re exhausted. it’s the last thing you remember saying before you black out, almost falling into the toilet if felix weren’t holding you back right now. 

“shit- y/n? stay with me okay? i’m calling an ambulance.” 

felix struggled to stay calm, tears running down his face as he tried to stop his voice from quivering. “my girlfriend, she needs help. she’s been vomiting like crazy and- she’s passed out right now”, he said it so fast the dispatcher almost couldn’t understand him.

the ambulance was at your house within minutes, felix holding you in his arms again while he waited. he could still feel your breath fanning over his neck, a sense of comfort washing over him. quickly, you guys took off to the hospital.

“felix?” 

“oh god baby! you’re awake? are you feeling okay?”

your head hurt a little, and you were incredibly confused, but you decided to tell him anyways. it was probably important. “my head hurts a little bit, but that’s okay” 

he holds your hand, clutching tightly, afraid there’s actually something wrong.

the doctor opens the door, sitting on one of the chairs next to where all the machines are hooked up. “okay so, we’ve figured out why you’ve been vomiting so much.”, she pauses.

felix is practically squirming in his seat, afraid for the words about to come out of her mouth. “congratulations, you’re pregnant.”

all of a sudden, his hand lets go, instead using it to slap it over his mouth to conceal his squeals. you jerk your head towards him, afraid of his reaction until you see the tears in his eyes and his bright smile.

you smile back, turning to the doctor who hands you a paper with an article about pregnancy and the symptoms that go along with it. “thank you so much”

“of course, the release forms are at the front desk. call if you need anything. once again, congratulations you two”, she says with a smile.

once she leaves, felix couldn’t hold back, kissing your face practically everywhere. “oh my gosh! y/n!”

you couldn’t help but laugh at his excitement. you were so happy he wasn’t upset or anything. you’ve been wanting to start a family with him for as long as you could remember, but you’re not even married yet. 

suddenly, your thoughts hit you like a boulder. “felix… what about the media. what do we tell everyone” 

he paused for a moment, he didn’t even think about that aspect of it. “i’ll call them. i’ll call management. if they say it’s not acceptable then fuck it. i’ll quit my job. don’t worry about them, please?”

you smile at felix’s dedication for you. you knew he was going to be such an amazing father.

“wait seriously?! she’s pregnant?”, changbin giggled excitedly.

“seriously. she’s pregnant!”

felix is at the dorms right now with the boys, and he couldn’t be any happier telling them about it. management was very happy for him and understanding of his situation, but he didn’t want to release it to the media just yet.

it’s nearing your third month now, your exhaustion becoming more unbearable by the second. you believed you could push through it though, waiting patiently for felix on the bed.

felix makes it home that night in an exceptionally happy mood. he smothers your face in millions of kisses, holding your hands tight and giggling into your neck. “i love you so much. i can’t wait for our little sprout”

it was difficult to keep his excitement contained around you, but he knew he didn’t have to. you are just as excited as he is.

you slice open the cake, a myriad of pink candies falling out the center. you were so excited to have your baby girl, you could already predict how well she and felix would get along.

“see?! she’s a girl. i knew it.”, seungmin said smugly.

“shut up, we get it. you were the only one that predicted she’s a girl anyways”, jisung replies, jokingly aggrivated.

“yeah, meaning i’m also the only one that was right”, he retorts with a wink.

jisung rolls his eyes, moving to you to give you a hug. it felt awkward hugging all the boys with a baby bump in the way, but it wasn’t all that big yet, so it wasn’t too bad. you continued having fun at the party, singing with the boys the entire time.

you’re so happy your girl is being born into such a good world. you’re lucky all the boys love you so much, you know they’ll all be amazing to your little sprout.

minho looked at you with an incredulous look on his face. “so you want me to make you tteokbokki, but instead of gochujang you want me to use… nutella?”

“i told you man, her pregnancy cravings are fucking crazy”, felix chimes in.

you quickly nod at minho, who instantly gets up to prepare it for you. there’s not a lot that minho wouldn’t do for you or your daughter, considering the fact that you’re best friends already. 

“so did you just call me here to cook because felix sucks at anything without a recipe?”

“for the most part yeah”, you let out a giggle. felix walks over to you, kissing you again and peppering them all over your face. a particularly loud groan leaves his lips, and minho jerks his head towards you both.

felix gets off you not too long after, but only to wrap you in a hug from behind, holding your bump up to ease the weight of her. minho visibly gagged at the sight of you two, “okay can you guys stop making out and actually talk to me now? i don’t feel like third wheeling”, he joked.

all three of you began to laugh, you were so excited to start this new chapter with felix.

fuck. what is happening? why does your heart feel so heavy? why do you feel so uneasy. maybe you’re just upset, you’re fine right? you sit on the bed, watching some edits of felix- your guilty pleasure.

all of a sudden, a sharp pain hits your gut. you groan out in pain, tears flooding your eyes. you begin to get up, trying your best to make it to the bathroom. you’re suddenly throwing up again, and you didn’t think anything of it since it was pretty normal. 

once you clean yourself up a little, you make your way back to the bed. the sharp pain hit you again, this time making you sink to the floor as you clutch your stomach. “fuck…” 

the feeling in between your thighs becomes uneasy, becoming excruciatingly painful. you feel something dripping down your thighs, taking a quick look at it. there’s a pool of blood dripping down onto the hardwood floor, when the pain comes back.

the tears leave your eyes in heavy sobs. you can’t pick yourself back up, the pain becoming unbearable. you’re too weak to make it anywhere, so you try to scream.

you attempts fail, crawling to the bed to grab your phone. you didn’t make it in time. your body gave out on you, blood pouring out from you. you didn’t want to die. you just wanted your sprout. why did this is have to happen?

“y/nnie! i’m home!”

your head jerked up in the direction of the door. you let out a guttural scream. “felix… h-help… please…”

your voice got weaker, not even being able to find the strength to talk. felix rushes to your room, and the world around him stopped. his heart shattered in his chest, immediately calling an ambulance.

“baby… no! stay with me… please. deep breaths okay? you’ll be okay.”

he listened to the dispatcher for instructions on how to help, your eyes slowly fluttering shut. you’re too weak to carry on.

you woke up in the hospital, your baby bump suddenly gone. you touched around your tummy, looking for your little sprout. you noticed felix right next to you, eyes red and incessant tears pouring down his face.

he’s trembling as he grabs your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles. “if i had just gotten there sooner-“

“no felix i… im so sorry. i failed you… i failed our sprout.”, loud sobs filled the room, not being able to contain your emotions anymore. you had lost her for good. she was gone. 

“it’s… not your fault. rest now okay? you lost a lot of blood. we can talk in the morning” 

he gave you a quick kiss to your forehead, and you shut your eyes. the sleep never came.

you and felix are in bed again, just like you always were. but things were different now. everything felt empty, depressing. you felt empty. you didn’t have your sprout with you.

felix asked to go on hiatus now, wanting to be there for you in every moment. he became hyper-attentive towards you, scared that you might go down a bad path.

the miscarriage took a toll on him just as much as it did you, except you were focusing on the physical parts more. felix watched at night as you stared at your own bare breasts after a shower, producing milk for a baby that wasn’t even growing inside of you anymore. you ran your fingers along your many stretch marks, the skin on your tummy becoming flabby and soft. 

you felt ugly. felix was still there to reassure you through everything, but you didn’t know what to do. you blankly stare at your messages from time to time, getting many from your family, close friends and the boys, checking up on you frequently.

felix doesn't know what to do anymore. he doesn't know if he can live with the pain, knowing what could’ve been. it hurts you even more to see felix like this. the sunshine in him has been dulled out, the only thing left are his eyes, swirling with only pain now. 

the guiltiness overtook you most nights, felix holding you tight as you both cried again and again. you haven’t slept properly since it happened. seven fucking months.

so close, yet so far.

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