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razzmothazz · 1 year ago

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random yuno stuff to make up for the fact ive only been rambling abt makoto so far

yuno is a little MENACE /aff they love pulling little pranks, annoying people and inconveniencing them in little ways. she obviously never takes it far and because she can read people well, they know when someone is too annoyed/upset and makes sure to apologize and make it up to them when she gets carried away. she loves playful banter and their love laguage is definitely friendly bullying

doesnt have the best relationship with her dad and her mom is uhm . out of the picture you could say [this is a pun only i and perhaps pinna get but i will elaborate on it. someday] so they tend to sneak out a lot to stay with UNIT MEMBER THAT SHALL NOT BE MENTIONED UNTILL MY SISTER DECIDES TO FINALLY FLESH THEM OUT AND TELL ME ABOUT THEM. anyway yeah yuno doesnt like staying home unless its them locked up comfy in their room doing their own thing, so they go out a lot and spend most of their time out and about doing whatever they feel like doing

despite their cheery and energetic personality, their mindset is actually pretty nihilistic, believing nothing really matter and life has no set meaning. she believes people exist just to exist, same as everything else. youre born, you live, you die. however she doesnt see it as a bad thing, it motivates her to make life as fun as possible while it lasts and to not dwell on anything too long since its inconsequential in the long run, my girl just wants to have fun with it !!

very creative person !!! she cant stick to just one art medium for too long and instead does all kinds of stuff, their favourite form is watercolor painting tho! she thinks the soft look of the paints is very pretty, but besides that she also does sculptures, writing, other types of paintings, digital art, sewing, literally you name any form of artistic craft and they probably tried it at least once, its their main form of self expression since they dont talk about their feelings like. at all

related to the feelings thing, theyre VERY expressive, which is one reason why they never feel the need to talk about their feelings, its cause everyone can simply tell what they feel. she learned that if people cant read you they will ask too many questions and get overly concerned, so she started putting her feelings on full display, yet still doesnt like elaborating on them. shes the kind of person you can know for years and suddenly you realize that after all this time spent together, you dont know much about them at all. she doesnt feel the need to open up, believing some things arent important for others to know [mostly because of her life "philosophy" or whatev u wann call it]

their fav colours are yellow and pink!!! pretty obvious since they LOVE wearing them, most of their closet is actually made up of clothing in those exact colours :3 if you ask her to pick between those 2 colours she will go on a rant about how its impossible to choose and will make the speech overly emotional and theatrical for no reason other than to mess with you

speaking of theatrical shes a HUGE wxs fan !!! she randomly saw their show one day when hanging out at the phoenix wonderland and LOVED IT!!! again, she loves every form of art so this was to be expected. emu especially caught their eye with her silly childlike wonder vibes, not to mention the pink hair was an immediate attention grab for yuno lmao. when they learn more about the troupe they grew to not only admire and respect them as performers but also on a more personal level, especially tsukasa and his leadership and sheer stage presence. i feel like tsukasa would definitely end up treating yuno like another one of his siblings tbh dkdghdjdhbd they have a pretty silly dynamic in my head

basically she thrives in any social setting, not everyone enjoys their company but shes not bothered by that at all and continues to do her own thing and being their silly energetic self, its no fun otherwise for them

she enjoys learning and wants to learn so many random things.. they also often just study how other people act and have a very strong interest in psychology and social stuff, you can often catch her staring and looking around at others with an oddly determined and focused look. despite her love of learning they do NOT enjoy school, mostly using it as a social space and an excuse to not be home. their grades are fine, but she finds most classes boring and only wants to learn stuff that interests her.

one of her hobbies includes fixing random stuff no matter how difficult with no experience because shes convinced she can just "figure it out" and it always works. they cant explain how they did it exactly but she will fix pretty much anything up somehow. everyone finds it a little scary because you can find her messing with electrical objects to fix them with zero clue on what to actually do to fix them. but they will always be fixed.

their only issue that they cant seem to brush off and follows them around no matter what is their fear of abandonment, she feels the constant need to be around people and have as many close friends as possible, they cant stand being alone. its no fun living when you have no one. they want to do their thing and have fun, but sometimes the self doubt creeps in and she starts wishing she was more normal. its a constant struggle for them, but they still tend to try and brush it off with some excuse like "i can always find someone else", and immediately feel weird about thinking that because who would want to replace their friends like that? this runs rlly deep btw and i wanna expand on this more when i figure out her backstory properly

so yeah, they stay silly but at what cost... /j

basically yuno is like. the embodiment of "i was born to love my friends and have a silly fun time"

i had way more thoughts but this is all i remember rn soooo BYE

#pjsk oc

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ultimatefartwizard · 10 months ago

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Agonies of a Late Homestuck Reader Pt.3

Wiz is here for the hell that is this work, and now we start off with Act 2, we begin with a mysterious vagabond wandering a desert. He like... finds this underground bunker type thing with a lid that has the same symbol as the cruxtruder? Quite interesting!

Jumping back to John, since he seems to now be in like floating purgatory type situation yet alive and well.... as well as a just now 13 year old boy can be after just nearly dying from a meteor hurdling towards him and his father's house.

Am I insane and used RPGmaker XP too much? Or does the wind sound in it sound like one of the wind effects RPGmaker XP use (specifically using it as an example as I've never used other rpgmaker programs)

I downloaded Ruffle (a in-browser flash player replacement) to circumnavigate the "flash player no longer supported" issue since I wanted a true genuine experience as it was intended, and thankfully it works! For those wanting Ruffle, you can find it -HERE-

I played the segment with John looking around his house, and was amused by this sort of omnipotent narrator type character (soon revealed to be the vagabond, having gone down into the bunker and is using a computer to communicate) that would order commands at him and just call him "BOY."

Various Vagabond antics; makes me think of how Kratos calls his son "boy" continually in Ragnarok.

As I further mucked about, John's father seems to be missing and some sort of oil substance is everywhere. I originally thought his father got whole ass slaughtered and had him bleed out like a pig, thankfully not... maybe? I haven't read far enough yet.

I immediately thought of John Kramer talking through Billy the puppet when I read this clicking on the cabinet. And considering the species of "Cherub" in Homestuck is based on the puppet, I wouldn't put it past Hussie to make a (slightly butchered) reference.

John talks to Dave, and.... well I won't show the image of the exact things he says when he starts rapping cuz 1. I can't put a clickable censor on images and 2. not comfortable posting that but OH MY GOD. HUSSIE... HUSSIE! NO STOP HUSSIE DONT WRITE THAT YOU ARE WHITE OH MY GODDD.... DON'T MAKE THAT CHILD SAY SUCH THINGS AND MAKE MORE WEIRD AND BORDERLINE RACIST COMMENTS.... Why are you obsessed. Why are you especially obsessed with black presidents and, in conjunction, Obama??? Do you have some sort of weird crush on this man because you think about him too much. (joking around with myself to save my sanity, im dying here, also note i feel these negative ramblings are important especially when looking at this piece of media in a critical light)

Please I pray the comments like this calm down... though knowing the later stuff ik Hussie doesn't stop being weird or finds new ways to be gross and weird. I also made the mistake of reading the "sweet bro and hella jeff" comic Hussie linked on Dave's segment and my god this explains the later incident with..... a certain Homestuck 2 character. DO NOT READ THAT FOR YOUR SANITY BTW.

Back onto the story itself, watching Dave manage his sylladex and how his captchalogues/uncaptchalogues stuff makes me realize how stupidly complex his is, and it's the most complex thus far. I still don't understand it but that's for another time for rambles. Also rather curious out of the three revealed human children so far he's the only one who's not apprehensive to his family member's collection of themed stuff; in this case, it's his brother's puppet collection. I swear to god there's got to be some sort of underlying reason for these, there's no way that these are all presented to the reader and somehow don't have any strong significance or meaning.

It cuts over to Rose again, who's trying to get out to the generator in the rain so she can boot up her computer to pair up with John again and escape certain doom due to a meteor shower hitting the forest she lives in and is engulfed in flames. She seems to have a lot of contempt for her mother, not sure if it's the same back towards her but they are noted to have some sort of one-uping competitions. Both John and Rose seem to compete with their parents while Dave nods and seeminly respects his brother's stuff, which is interesting and definitely will try to investigate this phenomenon as I read.

I leave off on page 374, certainly to return later for more reading! -Wiz

#ultimatefartwizard #wizardyaps #homestuck #homestuck related #john egbert #dave strider #rose lalonde #agonies of a late homestuck reader

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lyra-brie · 2 years ago

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What are isfj and 9w1?

Would you tell me about those?

Ello Antman! Welcome to my inbox lol

Be very careful asking me about typology lol I barely know what I'm talking about and it's so complicated and I will ramble about it and not make sense for hours.

I'm also going on memory from the last time I hyperfixated on this stuff so anyone feel free to correct stuff I completely forgot

So the enneagram can be explained a lot more easily and you have the option of just not getting as deep into it whereas mbti the only "simple" version of it is taking a test and I test would absolutely never give me ISFJ because I dont fit the stereotypes.

So we'll start with enneagram. It's a personality typing system with 9 numbered types. I'm an enneagram 9, commonly known as the peacemaker or as I refer to us the chameleons. I'll send you the sleeping at last enneagram songs later, they're really good and help you get a grasp on the types. 9 is a gut type (along with 8 and 1) and the struggle emotion of gut types is anger. The way the 9 reacts to anger is by hiding and suppressing it. You can get a lot more in depth with that, with growth and how it works unhealthily, tritypes, etc, but the only more complicated thing I'll explain is my wing since it's also in my bio. Wings are the two types on either side of your main type, so in the instance of 9, they're 8 and 1. A lot of the time you'll display your main type with your dominant wing that is more prominent, which in my case is 1, often refered to as the perfectionist or the reformer.

Mbti I will explain as simple as I can for you lol. I'll tell you more in our messages if you want. So every mbti type has 4 functions (there are 8 total). ISFJ is Si-Fe-Ti-Ne (the order is important).

My dominant function, Si is introverted sensing, which is incredibly difficult for me to explain lol. But basically the sensing functions are based on concrete information, which is taken in by your senses, and it's introverted so you're using it subjectively and comparing it with the information you already know. Which probably makes no sense. But it's a stereotypically close minded super organized responsible function. Which immediately makes sense why I would never get it as my dom function on a test lol. But that's because I have ADHD override. Si wants to be organized and it loves the familiar and routines and concrete things that we already know and sticking to them. All of which I love despite sucking at them lol.

My auxiliary function, Fe, is extraverted feeling. The feeling functions are all about your morals and values and it's extraverted so it comes from the environment and people around you, meaning Fe gets it's morals and values from the people and environment around it. Si-Fe is a really interesting dom-aux pair in my opinion because where Si is generally seen as closed minded, Fe basically counteracts it depending on who you're around. It's often associated with being very empathetic but once again it depends on people and environment more than anything else. Fe can be selfish because that's what the people around them are and Fe often adapts to that. It also means that you don't really have a lot of intrinsic values that come from *you* (which would be Fi).

My tertiary function, Ti, is introverted thinking. The thinking functions are all about logic and that sort of stuff and its introverted so it likes the familiar and subjective things you already think you know. Your tertiary function is often more underdeveloped but you have a lot of fun using it. So often hobbies and things will gravitate toward it. Ti often loves logic puzzles and sudoku and overanalyzing things and you know. Psychoanalyzing people and typology lol. I suck at these things but have fun with them anyways. And you'll see me build the same exact prison on prison architect or play lots of games from the beginning but almost the exact same way everytime because of my Si-Ti combo just wanting the familiar.

My inferior function (aka the Annoying one that sucks but I require it for so many things), Ne, is extraverted intuition. This is the exact opposite of Si, its actually the stereotypical ADHD function, it's all about abstract ideas from the outside world since its extraverted. Ne is where lots of new abstract ideas come from, it's incredibly important for writing, and mine hates me lol (it has gotten better though! It still normally takes me using it intentionally for it to cooperate). You and @chainsaw-raven seem to actually have decent Ne-in fact I think last time Etty and I talked about this we came to the conclusion that she's probably a Ne-dom, which makes yall excellent writing buddies, btw. Ne is also very impulsive and seeks lots of new experiences.

So yeah that's the overview of the ISFJ type and how it presents for me. There's so much more that I barely understand, gripping (how the functions react to stress), shadow stacks, looping (how the stacks react to trauma), etc. But that's a topic for later.

Hope you enjoyed my typology rant that made 0 sense lol.

#typology #mbti #enneagram #isfj #9w1 #answering asks #help im so bad at this lol i have no clue what im talking about

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kisari · 1 year ago

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ramblings on my personal feelings about my GG fave

i have such mixed feelings about testament's redesign. before i get too much into it. this is the internet so in case any rando sees this and doesnt know me: there is no wrong or right way to be nonbinary. there is no wrong or right way to present or feel yourself. i am against binary completely. i do not believe in transa/ndrophobia garbage.

i also wanna state i am a long time testament fangirlie. i love testament. i am happy testament was added. im happy they came out and said testament is x-gender/nb. testament in the old GG games partially helped me realize i was transmasc/nb. i think maybe thats why the redesign makes me feel a bit strange. first, a comparison.

Testament's general goth vibe and outfit basically never changed until Strive. I do think it's very interesting that from GG-->GGIsuka, Testament gained a six pack and yet also somehow became much skinnier and looks almost emaciated. Original GG Testament was very much a softer type build with no abs. I'd even say in Strive, their body shape became closer to how it was in the original GG.

Along with that, a lot of the design elements are still there, which I think is really impressive. The boots, the skirt, the gloves, and their new corset has the same arm flairs/wraps as their old tube top did. Really, they did a great job keeping the same vibe but showing that Testament has changed. So what's my problem? I've been trying to figure it out for a while. And seeing this concept art for Strive I think kinda cemented my feelings.

It was clear from the beginning they wanted Testament to have a more "fancy" look(lol the hat). In fact the one on the right is almost the exact same outfit but their body is drastically different... And I think this might be why I feel so mixed. GG creator has said Testament was always X-gender, and I think this comes through from their design from the very start. Back in ye olden days, before the Strive redesign, Testament 100% received transphobic comments that I shant repeat. But I'm sure you can imagine the sort of hatred and slurs a transfem would receive. having testament's redesign be clearly, much much more feminine isn't necessarily a bad thing- in fact i dont think its bad. again... being nb doesnt mean someone has to look any certain way. but testament isnt a real person. testament is a character designed by people. how would people have reacted if Testament was more masculine, but they still came out and said they were nb? The poses, the voice... it was all the same but Testament wasn't clearly much more fem? the way nb feels like something only allowed to more fem presenting people i guess makes me a bit concerned. go to any post about testament and look at the comments. its all "SEXY MOMMY THIGHS THEY SLAYIN" type shit. testament p much never received this attention beforehand. testament was also just... not as popular as other chars such as brisket who received the majority of attention in this way.

where am i going with this... idk. in a way, i have a lot of not clear thoughts and no where to put them. again maybe its just because i saw testament as gender goals before strive. and as someone that is nb but wants to be more masc it makes me a bit upset. there is absolutely a pattern of what is acceptable for a nb person to look like(especially when you are transfem), and i guess it just sucks that it happened to testament who i thought was perfect in the beginning. ngl i do also miss their edgier parts also. they def moved away from edgy to a fancy/posh vibe. testament's scythe used to be made of their own blood, and they'd cut off their body parts and remove skin for attacks. i can, obviously accept that this can be a reflection of them growing as a person and no longer self harming now that they are happy... or maybe it was too hard to animate in 3D... teehee....

this walk cycle literally cannot be beat it is the best.

i wanna be them so bad again tho i wanna reiterate. testament is my #1 fave guilty gear char forever i love them. this will not change. i just have many thots and feelings

#literally this post is super long #if you wanna see my autism rant feel free to click

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layla-lynx · 2 years ago

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I think I stopped being confused when I kind of gave up trying to align it all in a purely sequential fashion and in doing so, approached that same mindset of understanding. I’m not confused because ai dont feel the need to nail it all down, some things exist purely in the realm of vibes and vision. Its hung around feelings and emotions. The specifics of the set dressing, are certainly fascinating. (And very much interesting to me because I love poking into the setting and lore, knowing that its totally ancillary.) that being said, that isnt the heart of the story. I dont need or want an exact cosmology, I don’t want a “heres all of Signalis Explained!” video. What matters is that emotion, the love and loss and longing and isolation and grasping for it anyway. It makes a lot more sense if you look at it through this lens rather than a “Dark Souls Lore Video” type vibe. Maybe this is me speaking as a Pathologic addict, another piece of media where the truth is a lie and the vibe reigns supreme and a literal analysis is outright impossible due to conflicting layers of reality. But like, thats the case here, too, is it not? What is real and what isnt is fragmented, broken like a dozen separate panes of glass and then thrown into a single box until the difference hardly matters. The only thing that matters then is the blood you will draw if you stick your hand in.

Anyway I might be missing the point here or even disagreeing with it outright and either way I’m certain I seem delusional. It is 7 AM and I have not slept but. Thats all my ramble irregardless.

TLDR: Signalis maintains coherency of vibe and feeling in a way that makes a 100% accurate timeline unnecessary if not impossible. Its all put together in a jarring fragmented way that fits nonetheless bc it is a love story before anything else. If you can understand for that, thats what matters. And sister, ai understand lesbians.

So, interested in if this is going to get me called out…

I don’t get the entire confusion around Signalis’s storyline?

I mean, the story that’s in my head is complex, multi-layered in every perceived dimension and a few not yet documented by science, and exceptionally meaningful.

There’s a ton to pull out of it, all spaghettified as you tease out strands from the black hole.

And it’s different from others I have seen put forwards, and I accept those alternative readings as valid.

But confusing?

Once I decided upon a specific element (namely, the acceptance of those undocumented dimensions…) everything made sense. (to me at least…)

That sense is “Death Screams Echoing in a Black Hole; unending and infinite and terrifying and eventually the literal end of the universe because while it’s only expanding by millimeters a cycle it is expanding and nothing will stop it…”

But, like, within that logic it’s all consistent.

(“consistency” incorporating literal overwriting of time, but, well, see acceptance od undocumented dimensions…)

I felt the same way when I first watched Neo Genesis Evangelion back in 2001 and got to the ending, “Well, yeah, that happened, why’s everyone else confused??”

Except Signalis is, obvs, 1000x better than OG Eva, not the least of which it was all done intentionally.

Am I the only one with this particular insanity?

(Well, no, there are analysis vids out there with less confusion than I’ve seen as the general…)

So, more precisely, how many of the people getting this message in a bottle able to balance a “consistent” storyline of Signalis in their mindspace?

#signalis

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houseofwolvess · 3 years ago

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hi y'all. im sorry ive been off tumblr lately but im here. also i just finished the final ep of stranger things 4 and i have heavily mixed feelings

#HI. IM GONNA RAMBLE IN THE TAGS BECAUSE I CAN.#GOD i have such mixed feelings on the ending!! tbh i have mixed feelings on the season as a whole!!#i know everyone absolutely loves s4 and ppl are calling it the best season and i definitely enjoyed it but like...#i dont feel like it even comes close to being the best season? like dont get me wrong. it was cool. i liked most of the characters they -#- introduced. i liked the concept for the story. the visuals were super cool and the writing was solid.#but it just feels like its kind of beating a dead horse y'know? there were so many plotholes and so many unanswered questions #not in like a cliffhanger kind of way. but just in a We Tried Putting Way Too Much Into One Season And It's Paying The Price #also like. apparently they're planning on doing a season 5?? what???#i love the series as much as the next guy but.. that's just too much. there's only so much you can do with a series like this.#idk. i loved the first ep or two of season one but it kind of dropped off for a while until the final few eps #its hard to type out my thoughts but ive been rambling to myself loudly in the living room bc my mom passed out like half an hour ago and -#- i swear my thoughts are more cohesive irl. i have SO much to talk about but there's not enough room to type it out and i feel really -#- stupid for rambling out when no one cares online but it's no different than rambling to someone who's passed tf out so idk #okay. back to my rambling.#for a lot of the characters it just really felt like they like. went backwards with character development at first.#the character had the exact same growth in season 3 except it made sense then. now they're just doing it over again.#mike goes from being an immature and kinda self centered dude to a caring and mature boyfriend for el.#steve pines over nancy but steps back because he's more mature than he was and doesn't wanna ruin her relationship with jonathan #robin faces her insecurities to help her friends #will ambiguously pines over mike and doesn't want things to change but relents because change is inevitable #lucas wants to fit in with the 'cool kids '' more than his friends do but he still chooses his friends over anyone else #dustin is the nerd with a heart of gold who plays a big part in the success of the team #el tries to fit in and lead a normal life but realizes that that's bullshit. also she saves the day at the end as usual.#jonathan is kinda shitty towards the start but tries to make it up by the end and mostly does that. nancy is conflicted bc of steve so -#- jonathan kind of knows and he can't really make it up entirely to her.#nancy is badass who loves jonathan but also kinda loves steve and she's emotionally shut off so she just lets it sit and it bleeds out -#- into her interactions with others. the trauma doesn't help either. she still comes through tho bc she's a loyal friend who deeply cares #it just feels so similar to s3. idk. they've already gone through this development once before so seeing it again just feels stale.#im about to hit the tag limit but i wanna keep going so i might make more posts i think. idk.#we'll see how it works out tonight! im so sorry y'all for the brainrot

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villaim · 2 years ago

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texting: riddle rosehearts

requested by: @astrea-archive

genre — crack, fluff

a/n — i didn’t proofread riddles ramble and i wrote this while sick 💀

notes — g/n reader, reader is ramshackle prefect (yuu), platonic??

riddle me this — 7:00 am

where are you? you were supposed to be in study hall by now.

yuu — 7:00 am

you cannot be expecting me to make it at exactly 7:00. YOU TEXTED THAT AY THE EXACT TIME??

you’re like an alarm

riddle me this — 7:00 am

are you on your way though? i do not have the time for this.

yuu — 7:00 am

calm down rudolph i’ll be there in 10

riddle me this — 7:00 am

fine. don’t make me wait here all day, prefect.

wait, who is this rudolph?

yuu — 7:01 am

ILL EXPLAIN LATER

god you want to kiss me so badly rn

riddle me this — 8:00 pm

goodnight, prefect.

yuu — 8:00 pm

do not tell me you are sleeping rn 💀

THE SUN IS STILL UP??

riddle me this — 8:00 pm

i do not have the time to stay here and chat. i advise that you go to bed too.

yuu — 8:01 pm

:IMG_xxxx.PNG:

shi wrong person 😭

riddle me this — 8:01 pm

why are you out with ace and deuce?! 😡

yuu — 8:01 pm

you text like my grandma

riddle me this — 8:02 pm

i’m on my way.

yuu — 8:05 pm

I THOIGHT YOU WOULD BE ASLEEP BY NOW

STOP I DONT WANT BRITS IN MY DORM

yuu — 12:49 am

ARE YOU AWAKE.

WAKE UP PELASE I NEED ANSWERS TO EHATEVRT THE FUCK CREWEL GAVE THE FROSHIES AS HW

yuu — 6:27 am

riddle i can see you typing pelase do not tell me you’re about to give me a 12 page essay

riddle me this — 6:30 am

first of all, asking me for homework answers is the same as lying; you are telling professor crewel that you conjured these answers on you’re own, in which you didn’t, they were given by me. this also counts as stealing because you are taking someone else’s work then claiming it as your own. if you were caught in the act of cheating, you would have to suffer the consequences in the near future. in conclusion, you should never ask someone for answers just because you were not listening to the lecture the day before.

yuu — 6:30 am

you must be out of your goddamn mind if you think i’m reading that

so am i getting them or what *seen*

yuu — 2:56 am

you know dasher and dancer and prancer and vixen comet and cupid and donner and blitzen but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all? rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose and if you ever saw it you would even say it glows all of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names they never let poor rudolph join in any reindeer games then one foggy christmas eve santa came to say "rudolph, with your nose so bright won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" then how the reindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee "rudolph the red-nosed reindeer you'll go down in history"

riddle me this — 7:00 am

meet me in the study hall.

yuu — 7:48 am

YOU ASKED WHO RUDOLPH WAS

taglist —

@astiesgoldenberry @spadecentral @pastelmages @ventisaircurrent

#riddle rosehearts #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst smau #twst #riddle twisted wonderland #riddle twst #epelys

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voidselfshipp · 2 years ago

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Pacific.Rim f/o's x me Moodboards

Cw: suggestiveness. (Use of the petname "da.ddy" as a reference to herc)in hercs moodboard (ill leave him as the final one) also idk how to tag that so if anyone can help me out its appreciated, also anger issues mention.

Mako Mori

"Having you as my first friend is truly an honor"

"Shut up mako!"

Trope: enemies (ish) to best Friends.

Song: Best Friend by Saweetie Ft. Doja Cat

Stacker Pentecost

"Only you could teach me how to love the Ocean again"

"Why?"

"Because in its ebb and flow I see your love"

Trope: tall brooding and serious x slightly less serious smol.

Song: The Man I Love By Ella Fitzgerald

Charles (Chuck) Hansen

"Thanks for Sticking around for so long, princess, I know I can be hard to deal with sometimes"

"I'll always be there for you,'sides, you've come a long way"

"All thanks to you, luv"

Trope: Bad boy with anger issues x opposite 'goody two shoes' who also has anger issues (And can control them)

Song: Kiss From A Rose, specifically the cover made by Super Guitar Bros

Yancy Becket

"You're always look so beautiful, Raleigh and I might make you the poster girl for Lady Danger"

"First, in your dreams, becket, second you're such a charmer"

"If I sing that one song that reminds you of me Will you do it?"

"Dont. You. Dare...y'know my heart can handle it. Wipe that stupid grin off of your pretty face!"

Trope: Effortlessly charming with a heart of gold x tough looking softie, who gets easily flustered.

Song: Strawberry Blond by Mitski. Alternatively, Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor or Dandelions By Ruth B and My Type by Saint Motel

Raleigh Becket

"I honestly have no clue how you can love me sometimes"

"Rals. Youre a blonde haired blue eyed golden retriever of a Man, how couldnt I love you"

Trope:Emotionally constipated Man who hopes to find love and is a golden retriever x trust issues having sunshine

Song: My Type by Saint Motel, Dandelions by Ruth B, Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor.

Hermann Gottlieb

"And thats why this calculation should give me the exact result for-- did you understand anything?"

"Nope. But im trying my best only because its you and I love hearing you talk"

"..."

"Hermann?"

"..."

"I think I broke you"

Trope: Awkward but sweet nerd x a little less awkward but sweet nerd (who cant understand math for shit)

Song: Genius, by Labrynth

Newton Geiszler

"Sorry I must be talking your ears off...!"

"Ramble away. You did hear me ramble about kaijus for two hours, besides I love seeing how your mind works"

"Newton you absolute charmer..!"

"Stacker I want that one" said Newton after I listened to him intently about kaijus for an hour and a half.

"Newton you cant just call dibs on people"

"buT I WANT HER!,SHE'S LITERALLY EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED"

Trope: hyperactive adhd nerd x constantly tired (probably also has adhd) nerd.

Song: Mary On A Cross by Ghost

Tendo Choi (Quispe)

"Thanks for teaching me some spanish, doll"

"Of course! Glad to help another latino out"

"Ya wanna know whats my favorite phrase in spanish?"

"Sure!"

"Te Amo~"

"teNDO YOU DORK!"

Trope: friends/co-workers to lovers (who Bond over being/descending from the same continent)

Song: Nunca Me Faltes by Antonio Rios, or Youre The One That I Want from Grease. (Mans loves a classic)

(Quispe is not a cannon last name but I think it fits since hes chinese/peruvian).

Hercules (Herc) Hansen

"Thanks by the way"

"For what?"

"For giving me all the love i didnt know I was missing, and for helping me get closer to my son. I love you"

"I love you too"

Trope: Tough guy who really needs a hug x Tough softie who loves giving hugs

Song: Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar, or I Was Made For Loving You by KISS

《♡♡♡♡♡》

-> Only mutuals allowed to rb.

#cw suggestiveness #tw suggestiveness #cw slight suggestiveness #tw slight suggestiveness #cw anger issues ment #tw anger issues ment #ask to tag.#👓💙fortune favors the brave dude💙👓#platonic f/o: mako mori #raleigh tag pending #yancy tag pending #hermann tag pending #penteost tag pending #tendo tag pending #chuck #herc hansen tag pending #🧮👓love is a simple equation you+me = love👓🧮

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makiema · 4 years ago

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finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel.

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part:

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway, this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is:

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have:

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is:

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human.

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol.

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer)

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya.

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer.

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon.

#bsd #stormbringer #soukoku #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs #stormbringer spoilers #bsd meta #bsd analysis

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staylavendertea · 4 years ago

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music, ya know

this is a complete impulse of lying in bed middle of the night thoughts that i don’t even know if anyone’s gonna see that have been stemmed off the experiences of the past couple days, topic of 1:41 am mind boggle:

music and it’s aesthetic and importance in literal every sense cause it’s just that important to me

first experience of realizing this, i’ve always loved film scores and listening to music and the orchestral pieces from movies and shows, but it really seemed to hit me recently, like the fact that this week’s new LOKI episode, no spoilers, has the most badass score and a badass scene with such a perfect mix and musical atmosphere. i literally had one of my best friends over, who has a very small interest in comics, cinema, marvel in general, especially a show about a norse comic god that they know nothing about, and whilst they sat there for my own regard, watching the show like a normal human being would, i sat there clinching their hand, watching in awe as our music is louder than actors talking tv speakers spurted out the most spine tightening world building story and just wandered “jesus that was good” and whilst i will always think about the superior acting, cgi, the amount of different people that just went into those few scenes and like what was physical set and what was computer image and what the hell did i just watch that has my brain running olympic marathon circles right now?

the thought that said brain kept going back to was that fucking score. it was literally tearing apart of every corner of my head and why was it doing that?

second experience, another marvel one, but i digress. black widow (no spoilers i promise), thursday night, movie theater for the first time in i can’t even remember how long now and we set through so many previews just for fucking boss baby to start playing and the reaction of the theater to make me burst out laughing.

however whatever works in that little projection box, gets fixed and the movie is pushed to just a little before it starts, a nice small pepsi ad, the regal rollercoaster intro (if you go to regal movie theaters ya know what i’m talking about), and then i hear it - the marvel studios logo - something so musically engraved into my head that my ass that can’t sing for anything, can harmonize with the sound and makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up around movie theater surround sound. but i can’t think of that now, i’m here to watch black widow, a movie on hiatus with the rest of the world for so long now, a character i didn’t know much about it or truly, didn’t have the most connection with in the first place. yet through that one movie, i seemed to build one of those.

ofc though scarlett johansson’s beautiful acting and world building, but it isn’t until the end of the movie that i even realize why. it was the fucking score again. when i think about it, the beginning of the movie felt like all of black widows scenes in the avengers movies for me, kinda just, there. not really emotionally tugging, not bad ofc either, but just, there. in the present, watching something cool in motion. but then it hits, what i can only describe as a theme that somehow tells the entire black widow movie in one singular composition. something so badass, story telling, but also just singularly black widow-esk. i can tell you that i walked out the movie theater rambling about the composition and looking up composers.

third experience, the most recent as it was literally like 20 minutes ago and sprung one train rail of a thought process that immediately tugged me into typing this brain vomit into a tumblr post. i have playlists. for everything. and when i say everything, i fucking mean everything. i’m a writer and a reader, i have playlists mostly for the young avengers, my most utter comfort characters, and their stories i’m writing. i also have playlists/genre/specific song for about every book i read.

when i read red white and royal blue when that came out, i noticed i listened to one of the drunks by panic at the disco the entirety of the ending of the book and the words and music fit together like puzzle pieces, not only did it make the reading experience better, but i was so fucking emerged in my over hyper-imagitive brain that when i finally actually finished the book, i still never left. rewind present day to the beginning of this past june, one last stop comes out, ofc i get it the day it comes out with my anticipation building like wildfire. i start reading that night and i put on my recents on my liked songs playlist (true to true spotify user) and i slowly over the next day as i read and finish the book, windle down to the genre, then the band, to the album, to the exact song that feels like the carbon copy of the words i’m reading. that song was only ones who know by the arctic monkeys. now go back to this past week, anyone who reads the carry on series knows, anyway the wind blows came out this past tuesday. i waited till wednesday to buy the ✨pretty special addition barnes and nobles copy✨ so that the dear friend that indulged me by watching loki that same day could buy it at the same time and make a cute book date or whateva. i started reading that night and something just felt ,,, off. i didn’t know what it was, but i was living off the pure joy that simon and co give me so i ignored the feeling. until i realized why it felt off this morning. i wasn’t listening to any fucking music, literally nothing, not even queen. motherfucking. queen.

i looked for the snowbaz playlist i made when i read carry on for the first time back in 2016/2017 when i was still a freshman in high school just to remember i deleted that literally forever ago. so i made a new one. like an hour and a half ago. very inspired on how i made the playlists for the young avengers and all their stories. letting the music talk.

the fact that all these rambling thoughts have led to this conclusion makes my head hurt, but for me at least in my own experiences. music talks. a two way conversation. a radio broadcast, turning the peg until you match the same frequency thats being put out and you can hear it and understand it. it’s like when you see comedians on stages or actors on panels, they talk, you have reactions, you talk back, and so forth the loop continues until the last voice, last note, rings out. music and songs and orchestral pieces and bands and composers and lyric writers are telling you the stories in reverse. they don’t know their doing it, obviously they meant something entirely different in their creations, but it’s like literature and any work of words and storytelling. interpretation. to me, the notes, pianos, violins, guitars, drums, singers, cellos, and anything that can make sound you can think of, is telling you something. whispering in your ear as you watch or read. facial features, emotions the characters dont say out loud, outfits, they way their standing or talking or moving or interacting with anything and everything.

when i just made that carry on playlist, i played it, decided to try read some good almost 2 am fan fic as you do, my hanging on by a thread sleep brain telling me words aren’t recognizable right now, and tighten myself into a blanket to see if i can sleep at all. the playlist still plays and my never shuts up head thinks it’s own daydreams, stresses out about anything it can, that is until the song plays. the one that just speaks the carry on trilogy language. the one that i found whilst i was reading wayward son and then would play whenever i re read carry on. the one that started this whole way too long ass post in the first place. cant be alone tonight by atlas. i heard just the first sound and i saw them, as if i were in the same room, like i never even put the book down in the first damn place because i’m actually terrified of finishing it. i could see simon in his oversized hoodies, baz in an outfit that was way too good just to be sitting inside, agatha looking as pleasantly pretty as ever, penelope poking fun at shepherd, and shepherd poking fun right back; bickering, laughing, saying the dialogues i try to remember so i can write them later, existing.

in a way music doesn’t just talk, but it lives. it lives and breaths. a three way conversation you could say. characters, stories, plot, and settings talk to the music, then the music delivers us listeners the message, so that we can send one back. this literally took me over an hour to write and i should point the important note that i do have synesthesia where colors and sounds and colors and words do the association so this entire thing might be me being entirely biased, but alas, i love sound so much and if there is anyone else that feels the same ways as i do as just a simple good film score and song makes anything ten times better, feel free to talk, i will totally be awkward, but i need some music freaks like myself around so feel free to hit me up, also if you love movies and cinema also feel free to hit me up as i need movie buddies and now it’s 3 am and i will be going to bed - peace out 🛸

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