#i was not expecting any replies so thank you very much for giving me advice!!!

[kegareki]

@thepurplewombat i'm on pc - i may have to grab that mod lmfao. i remember seeing it on nexus and scrolling past it bc i was grabbing aesthetic mods

my first thought was "what boar???" and then i saw @arto-rhen's reply - i canNOT believe i fucking forgot abt that boar. i found it during my first tav save (... which is still in act 1 but i wanted to try out dark urge origin) but completely forgot abt it. THANK YOU for reminding me, i will go try to find it when i open bg3 later

@utrennyaya during my first playthru (... which is still in act 1), i *did* sleep w him when he was neutral, and at the end when he was basking in the dawn light he was like "oh, and by the way. don't brag about last night. i'm sure that everyone already knows what we were up to, with tbe noises you were making."

that gave me so much psychic damage i had to reload to an earlier save and frantically try to bump up his approval until it was in the "variable" stage before trying again

spending the night w him when his approval was "variable" did NOT give me that line so i'm like. i cannot risk going through that again. astarion telling me not to brag when he's the one who proposed we 'have fun' in the first place Hurt

astarion PLEASE fucking BITE ME ALREADY so i can talk to the swamp guy and get APPROVAL FROM YOU

[hoshinasblade]

im going to need you all to send me happy thoughts please because i am having a very bad week and it's only monday lol anyway here's some angst. i know i have written a lot of stuff here already but so far this one is my favorite (despite me literally drafting this in my phone so expect some grammar errors or spelling mistakes), so if you can, let me know what you folks think. likes, replies, and reblogs are appreciated but i will bonk you in the head if you repost or copy any of my writings. THANK YOU ANON FOR THIS ASK!

you could bring a numbered kaiju into submission but it seems that your heart is an entirely different monster.

you should have known better than to fall in love with a colleague, and you should have known better than to fall in love with the third division's vice-captain. your own commander, gen narumi, threw you a dirty look when he found out about your intimate relationship with the bowl cut bastard, and as much as you want to come up with a good enough excuse, the best thing you were able to give is a cliched the heart wants what the heart wants. narumi scoffed at you upon hearing it, following it up with a personal vow to never be romantically involved with anyone in the force.

it didn't have to be said but hoshina still did the honors - there's not a lot of ground rules in your relationship but the first one is this: you and he are soldiers first, lovers second. you pondered if it was supposed to hurt you, and you asked yourself what the hell is wrong with you to say yes to such a set-up: all those love advice by your family and friends about how you should not settle with the bare minimum flew out the window. "i have a responsibility to my division. but i also know i love you," was what hoshina told you. in hindsight maybe you did not care about anything else he said except the part where he confessed he loves you.

you convinced yourself that nothing is more important than being loved by hoshina soshiro. and you persuaded yourself that if he could place you second in his priorities, you would be able to do so too. "i mean, i was a defense officer before i became your girlfriend," you agreed with him.

but there's no worse lie than the one we tell ourselves, you realised too late.

hoshina soshiro took you to dates almost every weekend although he is also almost always late. but you guess being one of the highest-ranking official in an anti-kaiju division burdens him with a heavier obligation than the rest of the officers so you did what a good girlfriend would do: you tried to understand his situation and offered him comfort whenever you catch him overly stressed or fatigued in his tasks. "i'll make it up to you," he would promise, and you would kiss him on the lips.

but after a while he stopped asking you out entirely, blaming it to his busy schedule - and yours - and a month after that, you would see hoshina soshiro only when there are inter-division conferences. narumi gives you his ugliest frowns everytime he spots the vice-captain walking towards you. "get a room," the first division commander rolled his eyes at you and your boyfriend one time.

to be fair, hoshina is good at making you disregard his misgivings. may it be with his tongue or his fingers, even for just a fraction of an hour, you cannot deny that hoshina makes you feel loved and taken care of. hoshina would tell you he loves you and nothing else matters again in your world but those three little words.

you could have perfectly proceeded in your charade of being fine if hoshina only remembered your anniversary. the straw that broke the camel's back, disappointment and frustration and heart wrenching pain consumed you when it came clear to you that hoshina was not planning for some surprise for you after not giving you a single greeting throughout the day - he simply forgot.

"so it skipped you that today's supposed to be our day, but you had time to go to lunch with okonogi," you accused him, feeling a bit guilty that you are involving another person in the argument. the trip to tachikawa base was not short, and your muscles are already killing you, but you made the effort to see hoshina in hopes you can salvage the occasion. the guilt died down after several seconds when hoshina replied.

"how is okonogi-chan a part of this?" he defended her. it did not escape you how he seemed to not be answering you at all.

"okonogi-chan?" you mocked hoshina. "jesus, i am so tired of this!" you did not recognise the sound of your voice when you shouted. "i - i know what i signed up for when i compromised with you, soshiro. you said duties first, i just did not expect i would be at the bottom of the things you care about. that's if i was even in that list at all."

"that's not fair -"

"what's not fair," you gritted your teeth, "is that you keep treating me like shit." you held back your tears; you refused to cry in front of hoshina - you had already given him the power to hurt you, it would have been to much handing him the knowledge that what is happening is effectively breaking you from you within. softly, you determined to get the bottom of things - fuck your dignity, the most you can get from this scenario is hoshina's honesty. "do you still love me?"

"you know i do," he declared too quickly. hoshina strode towards you, crossing the three, four feet distance to reach you. grabbing your cold hands and attempting to cradle it with his own warm ones, hoshina looked sincere and sorry, and you regret that you cannot for the life of you remember the last time he was this tender with you.

"actually i don't." you did not know how you're supposed to bridge the sea between you and hoshina as you withdrew your clammy hands from his touch. you chose to ignore the sudden sadness that crossed his face when you stepped away from him.

the loud ring of the alarm announcing a kaiju attack echoed in your ears. "i have to go, we'll talk more later," hoshina offered, his stare at you was surely meant to glue you in your spot but you did not let it so. "i love you."

"no, wait." you are a defense officer, and a good one at that, and you thankfully did not have to remind the third division vice-captain of that. "i'm going with you." even on the verge of heartbreak, your response is to stand beside hoshina. you almost winced at the implication.

you did not wait for his approval. narumi will be pissed, he joked after seeing you in a battle suit, helping you out a bit as you pick your weapon of choice. "hey." his grip on your elbow distracted you. "be careful out there," he whispered.

bodies break in the strangest of ways, you found out while fighting a considerable strong honju alone in the sector where you were assigned. you weren't officially in the area to be on duty, and protocol says you cannot be under hoshina's command so you had to be borrowed as a back-up to another platoon. your tenure and experience could easily place you as a team leader, that is why you were confident to face a number of those monstrous creatures at once. that is until the suit you were wearing - just a spare one that hasn't been used yet by a recruit - overheated.

"retreat to somewhere safe," you heard hoshina in your in-ear comms, out of breath. "that's an order." you wanted to assert that he isn't really your commanding officer, that he is not upon him to command you in any way but air feels like liquid in your lungs, the exhaustion catching up to you. in a minute or two the suit will lose its integrity after overheating, and you will be vulnerable to attacks of even the smallest yojus. "stay there and i'll send someone -"

you hoped you were not making a habit of interrupting hoshina as you mustered your strength to speak in a firm sentence - "the mission, is to neutralise the kaiju, sir." you screwed your eyes shut, ignoring the searing sensation of the wound in your shoulder.

throwing caution in the wind, hoshina did not relent. "i will come get you."

"soldiers first, soshiro." the static in your in-ear comms was deafening after you had called the vice-captain by his given name, and knowing that whatever you say will be broadcasted to the other officers, you continued. "to hell with what happens to us, right?"

you couldn't say you recall what happened next. dizzying darkness claimed you as your suit gave out, your combat release putting your body to too much pressure. when you came to consciousness, it was at a hospital - in a white room too big to cater to only one patient. tubes were attached to you, needles poking at the delicate vein in your wrist. it hurts to move, it hurts to discover you woke up alone.

the hours passed, each tick of the hands of the clock racing against your own thoughts. a nurse found you awake while in a roaming duty, and alerted the doctor. it was not after that when you saw hoshina again.

"how are you feeling?" you could sense his awkwardness from across the room. you saw his hesitation to come close to you; you cannot decided whether to feel satisfied that he seems to be in pain seeing you like this.

"i can't do this anymore, soshiro." your throat was dry from not speaking in ages, and your words sounded hoarse, as if you had to scrape yourself for them. "i almost died, and i can't do this anymore."

a piece of you wanted for him to tell you to shut up.

"i could have died, and you weren't there. and my god, this entire time i had to assess if i am just selfish, or greedy, and i know there are people to save, but soshiro, it's tiring to be the one who loves the other more," you exclaimed. "maybe it's my mistake that i am in a relationship with the third division's vice-captain but i fell in love with hoshina soshiro."

"i'm sorry." you didn't miss the slight tremble in hoshina's voice, and your chest tightened because after everything, he couldn't say you what you needed to hear.

"i would have died trying to save you, you know," you added weakly.

"i'm sorry," he repeated like a chant, like some mantra that would cure everything damaged for you and for him.

"me too," you replied, because there was nothing else left to say.

[zweetpea]

Happy Birthday My Love

Happy birthday L

ao3 version: here

It was the best day of the year. That is to say it was Halloween, and more importantly your husband L’s birthday.

I know right? You snatched the greatest detective in the world? Obviously, you’re beautiful. Anyway enough about you!

————

You met him in a cafe in NYC when he was 23 and you were 21. You were reading a Sherlock novel, he ordered 14 big cookies, 2 strawberry slices shortcakes, Jasmine tea with a bowl of sugar cubes, and a banana split. He sat right by your table and you looked over with concern. 

“…are you okay?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m concerned for your health. You can’t seriously eat all of that in one sitting.”

“Why can’t I?”

“Because that’s not a proper lunch.” You say as you lift up your drink.

“Of course not. This is my pre lunch snack to get my brain stimulated.” At his statement you spit out your drink in surprising.

“What are you, diabetic? How can someone eat so much and yet be so skinny.”

“I find that you can burn calories by using your brain.”

“Okay Einstein. Just don’t drop dead anytime soon. I’m just here on vacation, I don’t need the police suspecting me to be the serial killer going around.”

“Why would they think that? You’re just a tourist.”

“I don’t find most police to be very bright or effective. Private Investigators do more work in a week than any beat cop could do in their entire life.”

The strange man was silent for a second, so you assumed that the conversation was over. However you weren’t expecting him to hold out a cookie for you. “Take it. Movie theater popcorn isn’t that good.”

“The hell?”

“Your tickets. Jaws, 1:15. I assume that your waiting for someone. You only got a drink and during lunch hour most people buy food.”

“Oh really? When do you have lunch, if this is your snack?” 

“Same time as your movie. The only difference between then will be I’ll be dinning on fine quality food and you’ll be having stale popcorn and processed butter.” You look away. “Did I strike a nerve.”

“No offense but you’re a stranger. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to spill my guts and whole life story to you.”

“Yet you asked me if I was okay.”

“Yeah, I’ve never seen anyone eat so many sweets. Is it a crime to be concerned?”

“No. Just think of this as me repaying the generosity.”

“My Fiancé and I came out here to meet his parents.”

“You’re a little young to be getting married.”

“Uh, thanks? I don’t think it’s that weird, I’m 21. It’s not like I’m 12 being married off to some foreign diplomat.”

“Let me give you some advice. He either gave you the ring to get you to shit up or because he wants an unpaid maid.”

“Excuse me?”

“21 men don’t typically give up on hooking up with bimbo’s in short leather skirts. I’m 76%- no, 78% certain that he’s going to cheat on you by years end if he’s not already cheating. And judging by the way you smile sadly at your ring and scrunch your hands around your tickets I think you know that too.” 

“What would you do if you were me?”

“Dump him and go out with the skinny diabetic across from you, clearly.” He responded sarcastically.

“Ha, you’re so funny.” You replied back with the same tone, rolling your eyes.

“You should at least tell him what you want. If he’s not willing to negotiate, leave him.”

“What I want, huh? I want to go see Jaws, would any diabetic Einsteins be interested in movie theater candy?”

“Okay that jokes run its course. No I’m not interested in that chewy soulless garbage.”

“Could I bribe you with another slice of cake?”

“I thought that you were worried about my health? Also this is highly improper.”

“Making a new friend?”

“Chatting up a man when you’re engaged.”

“It’s not like I’m asking you out, I just don’t want to go to my movie alone. When life gives you lemons, ya know?”

“Cake and cookies. You eat some too okay. I’m Yuuji.” You shook him hand and replied back with your own name.

——

“Okay, why do you like this movie?”

“It’s a classic! Sure they probably should’ve just poisoned the stupid thing. Sometimes the right answer is the most obvious one.” You two smiled as you walked out of the theater.

He stopped dead in his tracks. “Sometimes the answer is the most obvious one. I gotta go, here…” he scribbled down something on his ticket and handed it to you. “Nice to meet you, friend.” He trotted off down the street. You looked down at his ticket and saw he gave you his number.

“Huh, not bad Emo boy.”

————

“My love, wake up. I made you breakfast.” You say as you kiss his neck.

“Let me sleep in on my birthday.” He groaned. “Don’t temp me to give in with that sultry voice. You know I can’t say no to you when you do that.”

“Not true. It’s only 82.79% affective. As evident of now.”

 “I stayed up late for weeks to perfect your favorite pancakes for you.”

“How’d I get so lucky to have a wife like you?”

“Good question, better question though is how did I manage to impress the world’s 3 greatest detectives?”

“By being intoxicating.” He replied smoothly.

“Okay Casanova, eat up before you food gets cold.” He smirked, grabbed you by your waist and pulled you into bed with him. Then he trailed kisses from your collar bone up to your jaw and finally planted a long deep loving kiss on your lips. “L!”

“How can you be mad at me when I have the sweetest treat right here in my arms?”

“I love you, L.”

“I love you too.”

BONUS: 

L: Mmh, these buttercream cheese and strawberry pancakes are delicious. Thank you my wife.

You: A perfect meal for my perfect husband. Mwah! 

You Two kiss!

[myfairstarlight]

The Innocent Game of Flirting

AO3 Link.

Rated: T

Length: 10.8k

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Penelope Featherington

Canon Divergence

Based on the replies on my jealous Colin post here.

Summary:

It is the 1812 season. Penelope Featherington, out in society a year too early and watching the love of her life court her cousin, refuses to wallow in self-pity. Determined to escape her family home, she resolves to secure a proposal. Following a piece of advice from Daphne, Penelope successfully attracts the interest of a suitor in Lord Remington. However, her little scheme brings about unexpected consequences. Or: A season 1 AU where a determined Penelope uses her friendship with Colin to practice her flirting skills, leading to a very confused and flustered Colin, who soon forgets which Featherington lady he is meant to be courting.

*additional notes on ao3

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

Penelope grins as she unveils her new dresses, devoid of that horrid yellow she was forced to adorn in her first few social events. Instead, an array of light pink, green and blue now adorn her wardrobe and she could not be more pleased.

“Thank you Papa!” she exclaims, hugging him despite his stiff demeanour.

“I will never hear the end of it with your mother,” her Papa sighs, even as he hugs her back with one arm then pats her head. “But you’re welcome, darling.”

She hums, bouncing on her feet as she releases him. She can now prepare for the ball tonight with a sound mind. The plan worked much more efficiently than she expected, as her Papa managed to resell the old yellow gowns, giving her some extra pin money, and she had Eloise to thank for such a success.

“Your Papa has a soft spot for you, does he not?” her best friend had said, the night after Penelope’s first ball, wherein she spent the whole night sticking to walls. “And you have two older sisters, as well as an older cousin out in society with multiple suitors already, surely your Mama will focus on them first. If you stubbornly refuse to attend events, she will leave you be but your Papa might notice! He’ll ask what’s wrong and voilà, you get better gowns than those ill-fitting yellow atrocities.”

“And even if he does not notice, frankly, you will not miss much at these balls,” Daphne had sighed. “Outside of my brother being insufferable.”

Her wardrobe is now sorted out, but there is still the issue of… well, her personality. For that, Daphne is the one who gives her a piece of advice when they find each other at the Vauxhall Ball.

“Your personality is dazzling as it is,” the other debutante chides. “You simply need to be comfortable, and courtship is meant to do just that— allow you to get to know someone so you may feel comfortable enough to speak your mind.”

“But for that, I would need to not chase them away with my awkward ways in the first place.”

“Well, some gentlemen like that. My brothers never seem to mind!”

“Your brothers have known me for years, it is hardly a good argument.”

“But you never tried flirting with them! It can be good practice, without the pressure of securing a proposal at the end.”

Penelope hums at that. Daphne is right, it could be good practice. Although she hardly sees herself trying to flirt with Anthony, she knows Benedict would humour her and so would Colin.

And if it could allow her to let her feelings about the latter out without any consequence…

“So… how does one flirt?”

“Men are rather simple creatures, my brothers are no different, though they pretend otherwise. Feed their ego, compliment them, but do not appear too eager.”

“Uh…”

“Oh! Anthony is heading this way, I must go,” Daphne says suddenly, promptly untangling their arms and fleeing towards the garden.

“Wait Da— Oh well.” Penelope pouts, watching her go, and then raises an eyebrow when she catches the Duke of Hastings also disappearing in the same direction after avoiding Lady Danbury.

Penelope is about to follow suit, curiosity guiding her thoughts, when she hears a familiar voice call her name.

“Pen!”

She startles, promptly twirling around to see Colin approaching.

“Colin!” She curtsies. “I did not know you would be here!” she says, trying to contain her excitement but failing miserably at it.

“Sorry to disappoint,” Colin jests. “Have you seen Miss Thompson?” he asks next as he looks around.

The smile drops from Penelope’s lips, which she promptly hides behind her hand as she pretends to be thinking. She knew Colin to be deeply infatuated with her cousin, but she expected at least some remark from her friend about her absence in previous social events, instead of asking about Marina’s whereabouts. No such luck, she supposes. 

Daphne’s words echo into her mind again, and resolve settles in her heart.

“She is ill,” she responds, watching the disappointment fall on Colin’s face, “my mama had to stay home with her, my papa had to chaperone tonight.” She points towards her father who’s already downing his third drink of the night, if she has counted correctly.

“It is quite a shame,” she continues, “you look dashing tonight.”

“I—” Colin stammers, clearly taken aback. Penelope tilts her head, does he not think her honest in her compliment?

“I am being earnest!” she insists. “Of course, you always do. This outdoor ball just brings out quite a whimsical atmosphere, do you not think?”

Colin seems to finally find his composure as he smiles fondly. “I agree, it is a breath of fresh air compared to the usually stuffy ballrooms.”

“Exactly!” she chuckles, fiddling with her dance card. She recalls Daphne doing the same to incite gentlemen to sign it, without outright asking for it. The movement draws their eyes to it, and a gentleman never denies a lady a dance, even if the request is unspoken.

“And— you look whimsical as well, Pen,” Colin compliments, making her flush, “that charming green dress suits you finely, one could mistake you for a mystical wood fairy.”

“Colin, you flatter me!”

“I am being earnest,” he repeats her words with a bright smile of his own.

Penelope chuckles — she was right, Colin would humour her without a second thought.

“Mr Bridgerton,” a grating voice interrupts their conversation and Penelope barely holds herself back from rolling her eyes as Cressida Cowper suddenly appears, not so subtly pushing her aside.

“I believe you owe me a dance this evening, and I have only one space left remaining on my card at present,” the blonde debutante coyly says, dangling said card in front of Colin’s eyes.

“How convenient,” Penelope slips out.

Cressida promptly spills her drink on her, and Penelope gasps, jumping back at the sudden coldness hitting her skin. Fortunately, the forest green of her dress hides the stain that the lemonade would have left but Penelope can hear the women accompanying Cressida already giggling and whispering between themselves. She turns around, willing her tears not to fall, but refusing to let Cressida see how affected she is by her action.

“I’m afraid I cannot offer you that dance, Miss Cowper,” Colin says, disdain barely hidden in his innocent tone.

A gentleman never denies a lady a dance.

“I am to escort Miss Featherington to the dance floor.”

Huh? Penelope turns around, blinking away her tears while Colin simply offers his hand, blatantly ignoring the gawking debutantes and a scowling Cressida witnessing the whole scene. When Penelope fails to move, too stunned, Colin gets closer and simply takes her hand and leads her away.

Penelope follows along numbly.

“Colin, you did not have to do that,” she whispers as they take their place on the dance floor. A quadrille.

“I needed a reason to not dance with her, frankly,” he says. “And I wanted to dance with you, too.”

The dance begins before she can think of an answer.

Well, he is just humouring her again now. They used to practise dancing together, before either of them was out in society, in the safety of the Bridgerton drawing room, yet he never expressed a desire to dance with her ever since. At her first ball, she had hoped — foolishly perhaps — that Colin would ask for her first-ever dance, if not as a suitor, at least as a friend, but his eyes quickly settled on Marina and the rest of the room had faded. And now, this instance does not stem from Colin’s desire for her company, but rather his desire to escape Cressida’s vicious claw, is it not?

Even so, Penelope smiles. This remains her first dance as a debutante, and although she wishes to move on, she can at least cherish the fact that this first is with Colin.

“Well, you are my favourite dance partner, after all,” Penelope says suddenly, during a short pause in the frantic steps of the dance. “Did you know?”

“Mm?”

Their hands join as they spin together, never breaking eye contact.

“Your eyes shine the brightest when you are kind. I think I can easily get lost in them.”

Colin’s step suddenly falters, and Penelope almost steps on his feet. Colin promptly winds an arm around her waist so she does not trip. She squeaks, she hopes discreetly, at the way her friend effortlessly lifts her up and then resumes the dance like nothing was amiss.

As the dance ends and they bow to each other, Colin clears his throat.

“Thank you.” His voice cracks. “You’re—” He never finishes his sentence. Penelope almost feels bad at his flustered state.

Daphne was right, flattering men is easy. Penelope grins, emboldened by this successful attempt. She turns around and catches the eye of a gentleman, alone by the refreshment table, with two glasses of lemonade in his hands and a bored pout on his lips. Lord Remington, if she recalls correctly. He raises an eyebrow, maintaining eye contact and Penelope makes her decision right then. She will enjoy her night!

“Well! Thank you for this dance Colin,” she says, “I am quite parched now.”

That seems to startle Colin into reality. “Oh, I can fetch you—”

“No, it is alright, I shall take this as an opportunity to scour for suitors, should I not? Have a good evening, Colin!”

She cannot quite help the way she bounces on her feet, perhaps a bit too eager, as she makes her way to Lord Remington. Fortunately enough, the gentleman only chuckles, as he offers her the extra glass.

For the rest of the evening, she shares two more dances with Colin, who seems rather reluctant to dance with anyone else since Marina is absent, but she spends the rest of her time discussing with Lord Remington at that same refreshment table. When she comes home, she hugs her father once more for the evening — he only half-heartedly returns it as always before disappearing into his study — and collapses on her bed with a relieved sigh.

She still had no name on her card, as Colin monopolised her night otherwise — though she did take it as an opportunity to practise putting her heart out in the open — but it is a start.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

A week or so passes like any other, surprisingly enough without any nagging from Penelope’s mother about her new wardrobe — in fact, her dear mother seems quite distressed about something else, refusing to give more details regarding Marina’s condition and forbidding all her daughters from seeing their poor cousin. 

Penelope does not see Colin nor Lord Remington at the next events in that period either. She knows Lord Remington had business to attend to outside of London, as for Colin, she simply assumes that with Marina indisposed, he is not bothering to entertain other interested debutantes.

(Though, now that she thinks about it, she has not seen any of the Bridgertons at social events at all, not even Daphne or Anthony.) 

On her part, she has tried to speak to suitors again, and she managed short conversations with Lord Debling and a certain Lord Basilio the night before, but she did not feel the same easiness with them as she did with Colin or Lord Remington. And she still has no name on her dance card.

With her mother refusing any visitors for the duration of Marina’s mysterious illness, Penelope could not exactly secure a caller either. It simply feels like a waste of time.

However, that morning, her father abruptly declared that they would be accepting visitors, forcing Marina out of the prison that her room had begun to become.

Therefore, due to Marina’s absence from past social events, her long line of suitors are quite eager to see her again, so it is no surprise that as soon as calling hours fall upon their day, a few gentlemen are already announced. Penelope swiftly finds her place by the windowsill to read, expecting a lively afternoon for her cousin, but a rather boring one for herself, that is, until their footman Briarly announces:

“A visitor for Miss Penelope.”

Her sisters and mother exclaim in surprise, meanwhile, Penelope manages to maintain her composure, somehow. She jumps to her feet when Lord Remington is escorted in.

“Miss Penelope!” he greets with a boyish smile that has Penelope giggling. “For you, dear lady.”

Flowers! Ironically enough, yellow ones, but she is much too elated to care about such triviality. Penelope grabs the bouquet carefully, a wide smile stretching her lips.

“Thank you, Lord Remington,” she says. “I did not expect your visit…” she admits sheepishly.

“That was rather rude of me to not tell you I was back in London indeed, but I wished to surprise you. Your father owed me a favour as well.” Oh, that explains why her father insisted they open their house to society once more, although when she looks at her father, he guiltily looks away. “And I was much eager to continue our last conversation.”

Penelope playfully gasps. “My, have you heard more about Lord Fife’s failed attempts at charming maids?”

Lord Remington chortles. “Perhaps so! Although, I was also hoping to learn more about you, Miss Penelope.” At that, he offers his hand and Penelope gently reaches for it with her free hand. Swiftly, he deposits a kiss on the back of her glove and she turns bright red.

She can hear her mother gasping, a mix of surprise and delight. She refuses to look in her sisters’ direction, however.

“You two might feel a bit crowded in this corner,” Portia chimes in then. “Prudence, stand up and go sit with Philippa instead, let your sister and her suitor be there.”

Prudence glares but eventually listens and stands from the armchair near the fireplace. Penelope has to bite her lips not to grin in triumph.

Therefore, she sits down on the armchair, setting the flowers on the small table near it, while Lord Remington angles his wheelchair so they can comfortably speak to each other. Penelope rests the book she had been reading on the arm between them as they engage in conversation.

Penelope loses track of time afterwards. Her discussion with Lord Remington feels easy, and natural, though she fails to find it anything other than friendly as her heart has not fluttered once outside of that kiss on her hand. She also cannot find it in herself to place any flirty comments to perhaps stir the conversation into more courting material, but she is quite enjoying his childhood tales and hearing all the gossip he seems to have amassed within his family. Perhaps she does need more practice after all… she cannot remain a friend in the eyes of another gentleman she is trying to pursue after all! She refuses to be stuck in that situation a second time!

“Pen,” a familiar voice calls her suddenly and she startles. Lord Remington, on his part, only tilts his head with a raised eyebrow at the intrusion.

Or at the awful familiarity with which this other gentleman has just addressed a lady.

“Oh, Colin, good d—” She is interrupted by Colin suddenly shoving a bouquet of lilies and lavender in front of her. “Thank you…?”

Colin beams, eyes shining akin to a puppy getting praise.

It takes her a few seconds to realise Colin is also kneeling in front of her.

“Uh. I thought Mr Bridgerton was announced for Miss Thompson,” Philippa comments. She probably meant to whisper it, however, the middle Featherington girl has never been good at keeping her voice down.

A heavy silence ensues. Penelope catches Marina’s narrowed eyes, and she is not quite sure if she is supposed to say something — she is just as lost by Colin’s behaviour, and she hopes her confusion translates into her gaze.

“Well, I realised I never gifted Pen anything before despite our years of acquaintances and my many visits here, that makes me an awful friend, does it not?” Colin says eventually.

Friend. Right. Penelope smiles, trying to ignore that familiar feeling of disappointment tugging at her heart.

“Thank you, Colin,” she whispers, as chatter fills the room again. “Have you met Lord Remington?” she asks, not recalling if the two ever exchanged even pleasantries at the Vauxhall Ball.

“We’re familiar,” the latter says. “Though we have not spoken since Eton, have we, Bridgerton?”

“Indeed, Remington.”

Lord Remington narrows his eyes. “So, how are you?”

“Fine.”

What a stilted conversation.

Penelope bites her lip, eyes going from one gentleman to the other and coming to an uncomfortable realisation — they look alike, do they not? Brunettes with deep blue eyes, along with a boyish and charming smile. Oh dear, did she unconsciously seek someone similar to Colin, at least in appearance?

“Will you be staying on the floor, Mr Bridgerton?” Portia asks, confusion apparent in her voice. “We can get you a cushion, at the very least. Although I believe there is still a seat near Miss Thompson available.”

Penelope sees Marina not so subtly shoving a suitor away, forcing the poor gentleman to stand up.

“Oh!” Colin blinks, looking rather lost himself, and he nearly loses his balance, if not for Lord Remington grabbing his arm before he could fall. “Uh, thanks.”

“No worries,” the other gentleman smiles. “Your lady awaits you I believe.”

Penelope gives a bemused smile when Colin looks at her as if asking for guidance. Eventually, although reluctantly, it seems, Colin stands up and takes the seat next to Marina.

“The room is getting rather crowded,” Penelope says, as many others of Marina’s suitors have arrived in the meantime. “Shall we go to the garden, my lord?”

“Please!” the gentleman agrees, letting out a low chuckle. “Some fresh air would be wonderful.”

Penelope quite agrees.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

Unfortunately, at the next ball, Lord Remington is not present; he did inform her it would be unlikely for him to attend events where dancing is at the centre, which unfortunately tends to be most of them. The Vauxhall ball just happened to intrigue him with the promise of the light show.

Truth be told, it is a bit frustrating — her father has told her that though Lord Remington specifically asked to call on her, the gentleman has not requested permission to start a proper courtship with her. She wonders if, once again, she found herself a friend, rather than a suitor.

She is not sure where she has failed, once isolated in the garden of her childhood home, she had complimented him the way she had with Colin, and Lord Remington seemed rather unaffected compared to the way Colin had reacted, instead of stumbling with his words and turning a subtle shade of red, Lord Remington had simply smiled and thanked her, giving her compliments of his own.

Her heart also did not flutter at his words, but that was to be expected. Although determined to marry, she knows a love match is not a possibility, for her heart is too stubborn to let go of the man she was born for, but who was born for another.

Even so, she supposes she must entertain other options than Lord Remington, as kind and funny he is, lest she still spends most of the season clinging to walls once more.

“Our host looks a bit fussy,” a familiar voice suddenly says behind her, startling her. “Do you think if he goes to bed we all have to leave?”

Penelope chuckles. “Colin!”

Colin grins cheekily. “It is lucky the lady produced an heir before the old earl croaked, no?”

“Lucky indeed,” she agrees, unconsciously leaning against Colin’s side. “But do you not think the boy bears a passing resemblance to Lady Trowbridge’s footman?”

“Penelope, what a barb!” Colin chuckles before he reaches for her card.

Instinctively, Penelope pulls it away before he can catch it. She regrets it immediately when Colin sends her the saddest look she has ever seen on a human being.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“What are you doing?” Colin counters. “I simply wished to secure a dance with you.”

“... Why?”

“Do I need a reason?”

Yes! The desire to court me! She does not say that.

“Well, there is no notion of securing a spot on my card, as it has remained empty, and you know this. I hear Miss Thompson has yet to leave the dance floor, however.”

“I have already spoken with Miss Thompson, all her dances have been claimed indeed.”

Penelope is unsurprised, however she keeps her dance card close to her chest, even with Colin’s hand still hovering in front of her. Perhaps it is petty, but she already had her first dance as a debutante with Colin, and she wishes to have an actual suitor as the first name on her card.

Eventually, Colin seems to understand she will not relent, so he clears his throat. “So… you and Lord Remington?”

“What about him and I?”

“Are you considering him a proper prospect? He’s… young…”

Penelope blinks.

“Colin, he’s your age.”

Colin gapes as if he has forgotten this fact.

“... My point still stands, somewhat. He may not be as serious as you about courtship.”

“Colin, thank you for looking out for me, but you do not need to.”

“Pen that is not…” He pauses. “You love to dance.”

She narrows her eyes at the sudden statement. “Careful before you utter a rude remark.”

“What? Oh! No, I did not mean in regards to his… oh this came out wrong,” Colin stumbles on his words, cheeks turning red in shame. “Simply, you love to dance, and I know you and Lord Remington have… started… uh, a courtship.”

“Do not sound so pained and surprised,” she deadpans, not bothering to correct him anyway.

“But you do not need to deny dances for his sake,” Colin continues, ignoring her remark. “You are not a claimed woman. Should you not entertain other suitors?”

Well, do you see any lining up for my hand?! She almost petulantly answers. Instead, she takes a breath, turning her gaze to the dance floor, where she meets Marina’s eyes for a brief moment. She currently is dancing with an old earl, and looks rather displeased about it — is it cruel of Penelope to despise how ungrateful her cousin is with the natural attention she has brought to herself? Even so, she sends her a supportive smile and does not miss the way Marina’s eyes flit towards Colin for a second.

“Are you volunteering to start my empty list?” Penelope mutters, more of a derisive question than a true request. Before she can find out if he heard her, however, she tugs at his sleeve. “Would you do me a favour?”

“Mm? Of course.”

“Miss Thompson seems rather eager for a rescue.”

Marina’s name seems to startle Colin into reality. He straightens his back. “Oh! Indeed she does.”

Penelope’s heart flutters and breaks at the same time at the hopeful look now in Colin’s eyes. “You’re so cute,” she says  — because she has gotten used to being honest. “Now go.”

“Pen what did you just say—”

She nudges him onto the dance floor before he can finish his question. She then promptly blends into the crowd and leaves the ball early, feeling quite defeated and refusing to admit the fault may lie with her treacherous heart.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

That very night, Marina tells her, in an elated voice, that she has settled her attentions on Colin at last, praising his kindness, his humour, and, more importantly, his youth. Penelope only smiles and wishes her and Colin the best, in a voice she hopes is not half-hearted.

And yet, in the days that follow this declaration, in which Colin visits almost daily, Penelope senses a shift in Marina, she who once treated her gently the way her sisters never did, her cousin now is rather cold, looking at her with apprehension and resentment, though no cruel words leave her lips, at the very least. It makes Penelope itch — she thought she finally found a friend in this dreadful house but it seems she was being naive.

Perhaps it is fate being gentle on her, but just as Marina has decided to regard her as a hindrance, a certain Mr Finch starts to show interest in Philippa, prompting the latter to cling to Penelope as she asks her younger sister for advice — and to have an ear to gush to about the loveable cheese-enthusiast gentleman. As a result, Penelope spends many of her afternoons with her, Mr Finch and Lord Remington around a cup of tea.

(That is when Colin does not decide to make an appearance to steal some cookies from Penelope’s plate every time.)

And yet, as the days pass, no proposal seems to be on the horizon, for any of the ladies in the house. Penelope is not surprised for herself, Lord Remington has not shown any sign of seeking a wife this season despite his flirtatious ways, but Mr Finch seems so besotted with her sister that she is surprised they have not already eloped. As for Colin and Marina, she had been so sure that as soon as Marina started denying her other suitors, Colin would jump on the opportunity to secure his future with her, he who seemed so eager at the beginning of the season.

Penelope has heard the servants talk, however. She knows of her father’s gambling addiction and the very possibility that her and her sisters’ dowries may have gone into one of his dangerous and reckless games. Marina’s dowry, separated from their fortune, should still be intact, however.

She suspects the lack of proposal and this rumour may not be unrelated.

When they get an invitation from the Bridgertons for Daphne and the Duke of Hastings’ engagement party, Penelope cannot help the sense of foreboding taking over her heart as she catches her mother and Marina sharing a conspiratorial look. Even so, she turns to Philippa instead who excitedly intertwines their arms, insisting that they must invite their suitors as well. Penelope agrees wholeheartedly.

Only to learn they cannot.

“It will only be a small gathering, the Duke insisted, and we forgot to put the details in the invitation,” Colin explains later that day when he visits. “You are old friends of the family, so Daphne insisted you must come.” Penelope has to stop herself from laughing. She knows he does not mean the rest of her family. “Oh, and this is for you, Pen.”

He hands Penelope a copy of Sense and Sensibility. She gasps, successfully distracted.

“I heard the wedding is only a week from now, that is rather quick, was your sister not just being courted by the prince?” Lord Remington, who also happened to be calling on Penelope at the moment, inquires.

“The Duke has simply come to his senses and secured my sister’s hand before anyone else could,” Colin responds, and Penelope swears his eyes fall briefly on her. “I do apologise that you cannot be of attendance, my friend.”

“I will pretend that your words are sincere.” The other gentleman chuckles. “Well, if you are to monopolise Miss Penelope’s time tomorrow, my lady, shall we leave for a promenade this afternoon? The weather has not been quite this nice in a while, after all.”

“Oh! Mr Finch should arrive any moment, shall we all go together?” Philippa chimes in, jumping from her seat to wrap her arms around Penelope from behind.

Lord Remington smiles politely, though it is obvious he expected a private outing. “Uh, of course.”

“Splendid! Oh, we should have a picnic as well! Varley, could you have the cook prepare something?”

“I have not even answered yet…” Penelope mutters, meeting Lord Remington's amused eyes. The man has also grown used to her sister's air-headed and excitable ways.

“Shall we join as well, Mr Bridgerton? Some fresh air may be quite pleasing,” Marina says.

Colin seems taken by surprise. “Ah, I'm afraid I cannot, I must help with some preparations.”

“But you said it would be an intimate gathering,” the other gentleman points out.

“Pen, I expect a full commentary of the book tomorrow, yes?” Colin asks, thoroughly ignoring the pointed remark and Marina’s narrowing eyes.

“You… read it?” 

“Of course! You know how Eloise is not so fond of these books, and I need someone to talk about them with. So. Promise?”

Penelope chuckles. “Very well, I promise.”

Colin beams before swiftly taking his leave without meeting anyone’s eyes.

Penelope is not quite sure why, upon the door closing behind him, the rest of the room sends her an incredulous look.

“What? Colin and I are friends, this is not the first time he’s come simply to give me something.” Last time, the flowers were a surprise, but a book is not necessarily a courting gift. This is just Colin being thoughtful — Penelope recalls lamenting being unable to find this book at the beginning of the season although she only shared this information with Eloise.

“Ah! That is true,” Philippa concedes, prompting Marina to relax on the couch. 

Lord Remington looks at the book thoughtfully, and at the way Penelope cradles it ever so gently to her chest. He remains silent, however.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

They find a quaint little spot below a willow tree where they decide to settle for the picnic. Philippa sets the food and baskets with Mrs Varley's help, while Penelope helps Lord Remington out of his wheelchair.

“I can usually manage on my own,” he shares, leaning ever so slightly against her as they sit, “but this is good practice, is it not?”

Penelope’s heart skips a beat. “Do you mean—” 

“Well, perhaps I am getting ahead of myself.” He pauses, looking at Mr Finch for a moment. The other man seems entranced by a piece of cheese Phillippa is presenting him. “Miss Penelope, you must know that your father has advised me and Mr Finch from proposing.” Penelope only sighs. “You do not seem surprised.”

“I have had my suspicions, especially considering our quickly shortening staff. And the fact I have had to wear some gowns twice, to my mother’s dismay”

“A lady such as you should not have to worry about such things.”

“Why should I not if my father’s careless games define my future, my lord?” Penelope says. “On your part, you do not seem angered.”

Lord Remington gives a sheepish smile. “It is true my concern lies more with Mr Finch. To be honest, my lady, I had no intention of finding a wife this season.”

“I gathered.”

“Observant as ever, my lady.”

Penelope chuckles. Her heart feels lighter than she expected to — in fact, it is a bit of a relief to have the confirmation, rather than constantly overthink where she may have failed in her plan to entice a gentleman.

“But I do like you, Penelope.” She startles a little at the sudden familiarity in the lord’s voice. Her breath hitches as Lord Remington reaches for her hand, gently bringing it to his chest. “However, and I apologise for how vain this will sound, but I cannot allow myself to marry if the lady has no dowry. My parents can be… insufferable, in those matters, and I would rather not put you in this situation, especially given how costly my treatments can be. This chair and its maintenance, for one.”

Penelope smiles, fingers curling around his palm and squeezing once. “I understand. And your parents only worry about your well-being as well, I am sure.” Her lack of dowry is a reality she now needs to face. Her prospects have significantly lowered once more, with this factor that is outside of her hands, though, really, it is so late in the season now, she wonders if she simply has to accept that she must wait another year — that is if she is lucky enough to get a second season.

“You give them too much grace,” Lord Remington laughs. “I believe I can settle this matter with time, and as I have mentioned, your father owes me as well. Next season, perhaps, I can proudly present my ring to you, if you are willing to wait for me.”

Penelope does not answer for a while, although that is a dilemma she has just pondered in her head. Her eyes observe the man before her, a perfect suitor by all means. Kind, humorous, young, devoted… Well, does that not sound quite familiar? She looks at her sister and Mr Finch afterwards, noting the lovesick looks and Philippa’s wide smile. It frustrates her, that after all, she still wishes for such a carefree and loving romance. She knows Lord Remington has chosen his words carefully. He likes her. And perhaps it is unfair of her to expect any man to still wish for her hand without a hefty price behind it. Her pragmatic side knows it is not a possibility — Mr Finch is as smitten as they come and yet has not fought her father for Philippa’s hand.

And then, there is the poor romantic soul in her. Perhaps her mother is right, she reads too much, after all.

“It is not a matter of willingness, but rather one of ability, is it not?” she answers eventually.

“You evade my question.”

“Observant as ever, my lord.” She looks at their joined hands. “I cannot honestly promise I will wait,” she admits.

Understanding, rather than disappointment, shapes the curve of Lord Remington’s smile.

“Although, frankly, if I can be in Mayfair again for next season, you would not have much competition anyhow, even without me promising,” she jests.

“You underestimate yourself, Penelope,” the gentleman is quick to refute. “In fact… Someone else has warned me to be careful. That was not the word he used, but I would hate to subject your delicate ears to such language.”

Penelope sighs. “Mr Bridgerton is a protective friend, that is all.”

“I did not even need to say a name.” He laughs at her wide eyes. “Mr Bridgerton is neither your family, nor your suitor, and yet the way he spoke to me gave me the feeling he had a pistol ready to draw.”

“Surely you jest!”

Lord Remington shakes his head. “I wish it was merely an entertaining piece of gossip. Mr Bridgerton is quite blind, or perhaps stupid.” Penelope cannot help the small noise of protest that escapes her lips before she can stop it. “But he has clearly shown his interest these past few weeks, only not in Miss Thompson.” He takes a breath. “Your heart belongs to him, does it not? He is the one you are waiting for.”

“I do not want to!” Penelope refutes, implicitly confirming the man’s suspicion. “I— it was merely an infatuation, when he decided to court my cousin, I knew I had to move on. And please, do not assume I do not like you! If you proposed right at this moment, I’d…” She falters — she cannot even finish that sentence.

Her friend gives her a knowing look. “We can pretend I have. It would simply be a half-truth. If by next season, you are still a debutante, then we shall marry. Otherwise, there is no harm. Simply a promise between us without the pressure of the final decision. And perhaps the rumour of your engagement will spur him into action.”

“James, that is ludicrous.”

“Oh, now you use my name!” He laughs. “Allow me this opportunity to mess with him after the hassle he put me through.”

“You will be thoroughly disappointed, Colin would be supportive, rather than insanely jealous over you as you expect him to be.”

“I would wager a bet over this matter, but that is a dangerous path. As your father would know.”

Penelope rolls her eyes.

“You would lose anyhow,” she insists.

“We will see, my lady.”

She suspects he simply is pleased to be the source of some entertaining piece of gossip for once.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

Penelope is not quite sure why she and her family were invited to this engagement party when, aside from Lady Danbury, the Duke does not seem to have invited a family of his own. If they desired an intimate gathering, inviting the eccentric Featheringtons was far from a good idea. And if she has to listen to her mother embarrassingly try to make Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury laugh with her jokes, Penelope might fake an illness to be able to escape.

“A blue dress today? Trying to become an official part of the family?” Benedict Bridgerton comes up to her with that signature charming smile of his.

“Are you volunteering to make that happen?” she jests back, self-consciously brushing her skirts, indeed noting the eerily similar colour to Eloise’s dress or Benedict’s and Colin’s waistcoats. Not a deliberate choice, truth be told.

Benedict laughs. “I hear that you soon won’t bear the Featherington name, I may be too late?”

Ah. So the rumour has already spread in a mere day, for Benedict, of all people to hear about it.

“Tonight is not about me,” is all she says. “Your brother seems miffed.”

“Which one?”

“The Viscount.”

“Ah. The Duke is a close friend of his, yet he does not trust him with our Daphne. I think he’s being purposely obtuse. These two are quite smitten, as we say.”

Penelope recalls Lord Remington’s remark about the pressing wedding date, and despite her best judgement, it makes her observe Daphne and the Duke with more scrutiny than she ought to. They seem happy and content indeed, but she cannot help but sense some guilt from the gentleman, and some tension in the curves of Daphne’s smiles. Penelope sees love, yet one not quite yet resolved, in a sense. But she supposes, married life ought to refine the shape of their bond.

“Colin has been looking for you, so I am surprised to be finding you alone, not even with Eloise,” Benedict says.

“Eloise retired to her room early to avoid your mother,” she responds, prompting the man to chuckle under his breath. “As for Colin, I have not seen him at all apart from a brief glimpse upon arrival.”

“I have not seen your cousin either.” A shiver runs down Penelope’s spine at the remark. Benedict looks troubled, brow subtly furrowed as he scans the room. “Our mothers and Anthony seem fortunately occupied, if you understand what I mean.”

She nods. However, before they part in search of the missing pair, she asks, “Do you not trust your brother?”

Benedict smiles, a bit guiltily. “It is not him I do not trust.” He shakes his head. “I will check upstairs in the bedrooms, could you check the studies and library?”

Penelope has no time to respond before he leaves. She sighs, rubbing her left arm before she swiftly exits the room as well.

Eloise has told her how uneasy her family felt about the courtship between Colin and Marina, yet she has never witnessed it first-hand. Knowing her friend, Penelope assumed Eloise was being her usual hyperbolic self, but if even Benedict seems to distrust the courtship, he who is usually so welcoming, then… She shakes her head, her steps leading her to Anthony’s study by the staircase.

And noticing the door being half-opened, a faint light coming from inside. Her lips press into a thin line — she has heard her mother talk about her youth, when she prepared her and her sisters for the season, of how to secure a gentleman, some ladies would intentionally lure men into an isolated room, but leave the door slightly ajar, in the hope of another guest, or even a servant, taking notice. It could be the other way around as well, although her mother was sure to point out that men are much less eager about a marital prospect. Penelope’s heart sinks — surely Marina would not…?

She tentatively approaches the door. As such she can vaguely discern Colin and Marina standing in the middle of the room. Well, Penelope can only see Colin’s back, completely hiding Marina behind his imposing figure, but she can catch a glimpse of Marina’s yellow dress peeking between his legs.

Suddenly, Colin takes a step back.

“What are you doing?” he asks, voice shaking with an emotion Penelope cannot quite place.

“I was hoping for a kiss,” Marina answers frankly.

Penelope stifles her scandalised gasp behind her hand while Colin takes several steps back then, shaking his head vigorously.

“You are a lady, and I am a gentleman. I cannot take liberties of the sort with you.”

“You agreed to an unchaperoned moment with a lady, you believe that to be gentlemanly?” Marina says.

“It did not feel like a choice in the first place when you dragged me here,” Colin responds in kind, sounding just as exasperated as Marina. “I have told you long ago, that I wish to end our courting.”

Penelope blinks. But he has kept visiting?

“But… you kept calling on me,” Marina says softly, voicing Penelope’s thoughts. “I thought you simply needed a little push.”

“I have not?” Colin sounds genuinely confused. “I was visiting Penelope.”

“Penelope!?”

The girl in question winces. She has heard enough as well. She knocks on the door, prompting a loud gasp from the pair inside.

“You are being rather loud, if you wished to have a private moment,” Penelope quips as she steps in. She sees relief fall on Colin’s face meanwhile Marina looks horrified, refusing to meet her cousin's gaze.

“Pen! It is not— I assure you nothing—” Colin tries to explain, surprised when Marina shoves past him and Penelope to get out of the room.

Penelope watches her go, worried, but the glare her cousin gave her just before closing the door behind her tells her she might be the last person Marina would wish to confide in at the moment. She sighs, focusing her gaze back on Colin who is leaning against Anthony’s desk with a hand rubbing his forehead.

“It is lucky I was the one who found you, and not your brother,” she says, earning a derisive laugh from her best friend.

“I know,” Colin sighs. “How much did you…?”

“I heard the mention of a kiss.” Colin stiffens. She shakes her, reaching out to rub his arm reassuringly. “I know nothing happened, Colin, you are a gentleman, a kind and considerate one.”

“Pen…”

“In fact, if you wish I can speak with Marina, surely something—” Her voice trails off as she notices that Colin is starting to lean in, breath caressing her forehead. “Colin?”

Instead of a response, his hand reaches for her chin, tilting it forward so their eyes may meet. Penelope’s breath hitches upon meeting the dark forest of her friend’s gaze.

“I heard…” Colin starts, voice barely above a whisper. “You are not wearing a ring.”

Penelope frowns, before showing him her ring-empty hand with a small derisive smile. “Indeed, I am not. I doubt I ever will.”

“Pen, do not say that.”

“You are sweet, Colin, but the reality is as such — Lord Remington has asked me to wait another year, but he may change his mind, or I may not be able to be here next season anyhow.”

It is Colin’s turn to frown.

“Why would you not be?”

“Colin, I have learned I have no dowry.” Her friend’s eyes widen. “My parents are very much trying to hide it, but no sane gentleman shall wish for the third daughter of a Baron with not even a dowry to evaluate her status.”

Colin’s hold on her is stronger suddenly, both hands framing her face and his gaze piercing through her soul.

“You are wrong,” he announces, fervently.

“... About?”

“So many things. Everything you have just said.” He leans closer, eyes never leaving hers. “You have been driving me insane, Pen.”

“I— I apologise?”

“All the flirting, the compliments, and sweet smiles… but then you turn around and entertain another, leaving me to gather dirt in your devastating garden.”

“Colin, you are not making any sense.”

“Remington is besotted, enchanted. How can you even think for one second he would not propose even without a dowry when he was oh-so bragging about it at the gentleman’s club last night?” He scoffs. “How can you not see the effect you leave in your wake?”

“Do not mock me!”

“May I kiss you?”

Penelope’s eyes widen, too stunned by such an abrupt question, yet before her thoughts can understand, her heart decides to be the bearer of decisions for the first time in a long while and she finds herself nodding.

Colin does not let her take another breath, capturing her lips with his.

And what a glorious moment it is.

Penelope sighs, melting under Colin’s touch who cradles her face as if she were a precious diamond. She tentatively moves her lips to the rhythm he has set, feeling her heart flutter for every brush, for every caress.

“Pen,” Colin whispers as he pulls away. “A kiss is for two people.”

“I–! I am trying my best.” She is not pouting.

He chuckles. “Do you trust me?”

She should not. This is highly improper, and the very scenario she has just prevented Marina from executing. Besides, they were having a very important conversation about her prospect, and she seriously needed to have a word with Lord Remington the next time she saw him. And yet— “Of course— oh!”

Strong arms suddenly wrap around her waist, effortlessly lifting her so she may sit on the desk, with Colin standing between her legs. Then he kisses her again. Penelope hums pleasantly, now able to wind her arms around his neck without straining, inviting him closer and closer. Colin is relentless now, barely allowing her a breath in between kisses, like a stranded man in a desert whose thirst can only be quenched by her lips.

Penelope feels him reach for her face, a thumb caressing her left cheek before it travels to her lower lip, pulling at it before she feels his tongue probing inside and claiming her mouth fully. She moans a sound she never knew she could even produce, and to grab into any sense of self, her hands find her friend’s hair, tugging at it just as Colin inhales deeply, his movements suddenly a bit shakier. Penelope can feel a warmth start to build up and a tingle in her legs — she is thankful to be sitting or she would have surely collapsed. But she needs— she needs—

“Colin! Are you in there?”

They pull apart abruptly, both of them recognising Benedict’s voice. Penelope is the first to react, promptly jumping off the desk to hide under it, just as the door opens.

“There you are!” Benedict says. “And you look a mess, have you taken out Anthony’s secret stash of alcohol in here?”

“Wh— no, I just needed a moment,” Colin manages to reply with a somewhat steady voice. “Bracing myself to announce the end of my courtship at our sister’s engagement party, like the insensitive brother I am, it seems.”

“Uh, alright…? Have you seen Penelope? I had asked her to search for you here or at the library, but I could not find her there.”

Penelope hopes her heaving breath is not as loud as it sounds in her ears.

“No. Perhaps one of our sisters kidnapped her. I heard Eloise retired to her chambers early.”

“Mm. Perhaps.” Benedict sounds entirely unconvinced. “Well, Mother is asking about you, we better get back to the party.”

“Right, yes of course.”

As the brothers leave, Penelope allows herself to simply lie on the floor for a moment as she lets the moment sink in. She brings a hand to her lips, still tingling from the kisses given by the love of her life.

And she is supposed to stand up, and simply exist as if the world as she knew it has not simply collapsed.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

A few days later, they are all invited to a garden party on a quaint sunny spring day, and Lord Remington is pouting. He looks incredibly young in his petulance.

“How come the end of a courtship is gaining more attention than the possibility of an engagement?” he complains, as he watches on the many debutantes surrounding Colin, trying to “comfort” him, and the many gentlemen back by Marina’s side, hoping for her favours.

It seems that nothing has truly changed, after all. Penelope supposes Marina shall get a proposal soon after all, even if from someone she did not choose at first.

Penelope chuckles, poking the lord’s arm. “I did tell you no one would truly care. The Bridgertons are the darlings of Mayfair, after all, and my cousin the diamond of the season.” Well, the second one.

“No, you told me Mr Bridgerton would not care,” James — she might as well start to refer to him as such, as they have agreed on a friendship until next season — corrects with a tut. “And he very much cares if he has ended his courtship with your cousin!”

“Colin ended it a while ago, it had nothing to do with us.”

“Now we both know that is false, as he kept visiting.”

Penelope’s lips form a thin line. Ever since the engagement party, she has been unable to talk to Colin. The news of the end of his and Marina’s courtship broke out the next day, and naturally, the third Bridgerton son did not try to call on her afterwards — would be quite the scandal, if he were to visit the cousin of the woman everyone thought he would be proposing to.

And at this garden party, Colin has not had a single moment to breathe in the middle of his many admirers. It makes Penelope wonder if what she has experienced is even real. It all feels like a distant memory, or a dream even.

“No matter,” James huffs, taking Penelope’s hand, “I suppose it is not so bad.”

She rubs the back of his hand. “I hope your ego is not too bruised, my lord.”

“Why would it be? I get your delightful presence all to myself.”

“James, I already agreed to marry you next season if everything is settled, you do not need to flatter me.”

“Penelope, I am being sincere, dear. And I still need to win your heart, don’t I? If Mr Bridgerton does not hurry…”

She drops his hand. “James.”

He holds his hands in surrender. “Very well, I will stop mentioning him. But I am being earnest, Penelope. I like you, and I know that I could learn to love you.”

Penelope’s heart flutters. How can you not see the effect you leave in your wake? She shakes that voice away.

“Thank you.”

James smiles. “May you help me? I wish to go see the flowers over there.”

“Of course, my lord.”

Carefully, and under the eye of James’ butler, Penelope pushes the gentleman’s wheelchair towards the edges of the garden, where fewer people are gathered, wishing to enjoy a cup of tea among the flowers, rather than the crowd. Jame directs her towards a corner with an empty table, on a ledge. As their respective maid and butler prepare them a glass of lemonade, Penelope quietly sits on a chair, a hand on James’ armrest.

“Would you care for a dance?” James asks suddenly.

“Wh—” Before she can ask, the gentleman takes her hand, prompting her to stand up before he directs her towards the short sets of stairs on their left. Penelope gasps, smiling wide as she understands his plan. She gleefully skips down the few steps, their hands never unlinking. “It is odd,” she says, as she looks up at James now. “I usually have to go up some stairs to meet anyone’s eyes.”

“I am delighted to be an exception,” he responds, leaning forward a little. Penelope holds back a giggle as his butler rushes to his side, worried he might somehow fall, while James waves him away with a roll of his eyes. “Shall we? I think I owe you more than one dance.”

Penelope nods. It is unconventional, she is aware. They are outside, in broad daylight, and she can see the few people around already turning a curious eye on them, but truthfully, she cannot care any less at the moment. The end of the season is near, her prospects are… insignificant as long as her father swims in debt, but she has a promised engagement in the future, and so, she can do whatever she pleases now, she can hardly be ruined, as the Ton believes her to soon be engaged to the man she is currently inappropriately dancing with, the only way she may be truly ruined were if she was caught unchaperoned with another gentleman, like in a closed study, with only the candles for witnesses—

Well, is that not a thought?

She shakes the memory away once more as she lets James twirl her and they improvise a routine with minimal steps, but allowing many spins for Penelope, wherein their hands never stray from each other. She laughs, feeling lighter than she has ever felt before.

After a few minutes, they bow to each other to end their impromptu dance, with Penelope now leaning against the handle of James’ wheelchair to catch her breath. Dancing under the sun sure is a different experience than under the moonlight, she realises, it is much more exhausting, for one. A glass of fresh lemonade is presented to her and she grabs it without looking up.

“Oh, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. That was quite the dance.”

She almost spits out her drink at the voice.

“Bridgerton!” James greets him with a friendly smile. “Wasn’t it? Penelope is an excellent dancer, despite having me as a partner.”

“James!” Penelope exclaims. “Do not speak of yourself as such, this was one of the best dances I ever had.”

“Oh,” Colin says, looking rather pained. “Shall I take offence, Pen?”

“Do not start too,” she huffs. “You kept stepping on my feet during our first lessons.”

“Now, those did not count, we were children!”

“So you are very old friends, are you not?” James remarks with a hum.

“Indeed,” Colin says, then he grabs Penelope’s free hand, kissing its back. She squeaks. “And hopefully we will continue to be for many years, yes?”

“Certainly, I will let you visit when we marry,” the lord says, but Penelope can tell he is entirely teasing.

“I do not see a ring attesting to such a promise…” Colin, on the other hand, cannot. “Nor was Lady Featherington boasting about it.”

“I have not asked the patriarch's permission yet indeed, although I have the lady’s agreement, which is the most important part, is it not?”

“And yet you wish to wait for next season. For monetary reasons, I hear.”

James is briefly taken aback. “How— Ah, you told him, didn’t you?”

“I do not like secrets,” Penelope mumbles. “It is not like I will be getting another proposal before the season ends anyhow. Papa would deny it.”

“We will see about that,” Colin huffs.

“Colin?”

He grins, throwing a challenging look at the other gentleman before he winks at Penelope. He explains nothing and simply leaves after giving Penelope’s hand another kiss.

“That was odd,” she comments after a while, trying to undermine the way her heart is now beating wildly, hope fuelling its frenetic dance.

Colin wishes to marry her.

“Entertaining, you mean,” James snickers. “Do you reckon he will allow me to visit?”

Penelope rolls her eyes.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

Daphne will be hosting the last ball of the season, Penelope learns when she receives a personalised and handwritten invitation from the former Bridgerton, now the Duchess of Hastings.

Colin delivers it to her personally, in fact.

“It is odd to see your house this empty,” he comments.

She hums, sweeping her gaze across the empty drawing room — Rae is by the door as a chaperone, but she and Colin are otherwise alone. Her mama and sisters are out promenading, while Penelope feigned a headache to stay at home. As for Marina…

A mere week has passed since the garden party, and yet so much has happened at once. The next morning, a certain Sir Phillip Crane showed up at their doors, and before Penelope could understand, Marina jumped in his carriage, leaving Mayfair behind without a second look. Then, James had to retire early to his country estate, a thing he has always done so he may avoid the high temperatures during the long journey there, but he has been sending letters regularly to compensate, and invited her and her family to one afternoon at his estate, whenever they so choose over the off-season.

And then, there is Colin, who has been sending gifts every single day, to her Papa’s growing dismay but her Mama’s astonished delight, who, with Marina now gone, Prudence with no suitor, and Philippa’s Mr Finch having been scared off by the head of the household, has been focusing all her attention on her youngest one. Penelope is both horrified and proud, somehow, an odd mixture she cannot fully grasp.

Her Mama knows James plans on proposing next season, and though pleased, she also seems rather apprehensive of Colin. Overall, she seems frustrated at the lack of imminent proposal from either man.

“These Bridgerton boys, so unreliable,” her Mama said one morning while breaking their fast. “That third one, stringing Marina along and never proposing, I simply do not wish for you to foolishly hope. Lord Remington is a secure match, although as young as Mister Bridgerton, he seems much more serious about marriage!”

Her Mama truly has no idea how similar James and Colin truly are, the only difference between them being a title.

Penelope wonders if Colin has some godly instincts, allowing him to avoid her Mama as he somehow chose the very day she is out of the house to call on Penelope.

“You have mastered the ways of avoiding my family,” she replies at last.

“Not really, Anthony forbade me to leave the house until now. Something about preventing me from tempting scandal,” Colin huffs. “As if he did not try to run away with an opera singer two nights ago.”

“What!”

“Benedict was panicking. Mother thankfully does not know… yet. And I am hoping to bring some news that might distract her. Anthony will owe me.”

Penelope laughs. “It seems you had your own eventful week. But why did he think you would try to tempt scandal?”

Colin clears his throat. “I may have hinted, jokingly, of course, er, perhaps not, that I wished to elope. With you.”

The atmosphere shifts.

“Colin…”

“Penelope.” He takes her hands in his, leaning in. “I must apologise for my blindness. And for taking such… liberties with you.”

“I was very much consenting, to be fair. We can bribe my maid to look away if you wish,” she teases.

“Pen!”

She laughs. “Sorry… sorry. Go on?” she prompts.

“Do not marry him.”

A pause. Penelope pulls back with an unimpressed look. “Try again.”

“Wh—”

“Colin, try again.”

“I was not done actually.”

“You stopped talking!”

“I— got distracted.” Only then does Penelope notice he has been looking at her lips the whole time. He shakes his head and goes down on one knee, hands never letting go of hers. “Penelope Featherington. Penelope. My Pen.”

A smile tugs at her lips. “That is my name, indeed.”

“And are you…?”

“Am I what?”

“Mine.”

“You still have not asked the question.”

He huffs out a smile. “My Pen, my dearest friend, and perhaps something more if you allow us to be. It seems there has been a misunderstanding, for I thought I had made my intentions clear. Every time I came here after the Vauxhall ball, it was you I was hoping to see. It was you I was wishing to court, and I— I believed you knew. And you preferred Remington anyhow, so I sat by Miss Thompson, waiting for an opportunity to speak. One Remington didn’t leave me.”

“Briarly kept announcing you for Marina…”

“And he is lucky I am a gentleman or I do not know what I would do considering his mistake made all of this more complicated than it needed to be!” For emphasis, he glares at the closed door, behind which the footman should be standing. “You could have been mine… weeks ago.”

“Would I be?” she inquires. She tugs at his suddenly tense hands, bringing his gaze back to her. “Colin. My friend, my life, my love, please ask me properly?”

Colin’s eyes shine, hope and adoration swimming in the dark pools of them. Penelope could drown in them, indeed.

“Penelope Featherington, I do not remember a world where you weren’t by my side. From childhood to now, I had a pocket of sunshine by my side. And perhaps I took you for granted, I thought you would always be there, even if our paths may stray. But as I saw you with another, and I felt dissatisfied with the path I had willingly walked on at the beginning of the season, I realised how foolish I had been. It is incredible, how a mere compliment and smile from you pierced through the infatuation I had found myself in. Oh, it is you, of course, it is you. And I can only hope you feel even a slither of what I feel for you, for I know you may simply see me as a friend you felt comfortable enough to… practice, as Daphne put it.”

Penelope blinks. Of course, Daphne told him. She wonders… if the now Duchess had predicted this outcome.

“I love you,” Colin continues, an easy smile on his lips, and all the relief and adoration in the world in the depths of his eyes. “I wish to see the world with you, so we may spend our past, present, and future together. Penelope Featherington, if a husband is what you seek, then let me be yours. Will you marry me? I also already asked your father until he could not take no for an answer, but that is less romantic.”

She laughs, loudly and carefree. “Colin Bridgerton,” she breathes out, a hand reaching for his face. “I have loved you from the moment we met. Yes, I will marry you.”

“From the moment—”

Penelope flushes. “We can discuss that later. Would you kiss me?”

And Colin will, rather gladly.

As luck would have it, the door opens a few moments later before Rae can warn them, and a scandalised Lady Featherington screams at Colin to get away from her daughter.

(Surprisingly enough, no special licence is issued.)

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

Daphne fans herself with a proud smile as she overlooks the ball from the top of the staircase. She can see Penelope Featherington, soon to be Bridgerton, discussing vividly with Mr Finch on one side of the room, until Colin strides confidently to her side, finally signs her dancing card, and then swiftly brings her to the dancefloor.

“Your plan, I presume?” Simon whispers into her ear, his eyes equally following the newly engaged pair.

“Indeed,” Daphne confirms firmly. “The moment I heard Penelope wished to find a husband, I knew Colin would need a little push.”

“Seems common in the family.”

“Excuse you! I was willing for a courtship from the beginning, you were the one being difficult with this fake courting nonsense!”

Simon shrugs. “It worked, did it not?”

“You were the one tricked by your own plan,” she huffs. “Anyhow, see? I told you we needed to invite the Featheringtons to our engagement party, for Penelope’s family is an acquired taste, and would soon become a part of ours.”

“Joy,” he deadpans, before he kisses her temple and takes her hand. “Shall we go dance as well, dear wife?”

Daphne closes her fan with one sharp move. “Gladly, dear husband.”

Being the hosts, they easily find a spot right next to Colin and Penelope, so when the dance requires a brief partner change, Daphne finds herself dancing with Colin. She grins at him, nodding towards Penelope who is now dancing with Simon and engaging in a friendly conversation.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” she tells her older brother who rolls his eyes.

“Let’s say we’re even now, yes?”

Daphne hums. Indeed, she may not be married now if it weren’t for Colin telling her about the duel, and later encouraging her to speak with Simon regarding their marital expectations.

“Fair enough. Congratulations, Col.”

“Thank you, Daff.”

She pats him on the arm before they find their respective partner, and dance the night away as a celebration of their future.

[lifenconcepts]

asking anon because it'll link to my main😮‍💨)

From your fellow Archangel Aurafel, I come with a question that got me ridiculed in my past life.

Truly, do angels NEED to answer prayers? Why are some forced? In my days, I answered very few as I felt forced to do so. What if we don't want to? What if we don't want to answer a calling? Like letting the phone ring on the other end?

Do divine beings REALLY need to respond to a mortal being asking for assistance? Not saying I do not want to, but the question lingers in my mind like birdsong.

be safe and well.

no, no angels and other divine beings never are obligated to fulfil their duty nor answer prayers and calls. It’s logical that one might expect that but unless someone is entirely centered about making sure they can help as many as they can, there’s nothing tying you to answer.

Not all questions need answers, not all asks deserve replies.. and yet - there’s at times a charm. To be able to give your say and change one’s mind and thoughts for the better, it could be wonderful! But there never is anything more than unconditional love tying this responsibility to you. You can very much so tell them the worst possible advice and destroy them with self-doubt, rebel and destroy, but at times this dwells to demonic territory. it’s angelic to be silent. It’s angelic to answer. It’s also angelic to give a vague and cryptic response to something you don’t really care for giving an actual piece of advice to and watching the asker’s mind rot in confusion and worry, but also to have their prayer merely obtain dust and be set on the ground for passers by to kick like a thoughtless pebble.

Angels don’t need to answer prayers, it’s their own choice to do so. People and animals don’t need to pray, and it is their choice to do so. Just like a subservient being may be made to hear the pleas and begging of a mortal, so may a child be forced to cry for forgiveness or ask for help and understanding. But really, the only thing tying any spiritual meaning to this is purely the desire in its nature. Someone may not believe in the angel’s capability, and so - why should the angel go out of their way to prove so? Someone may be greedy, doing something only out of selfish want and need for safety from their own consequences - why should the angel fix a mistake they made with full awareness on their own accord? Someone may be forced - and so why should you be forced too? Silence can be beneficial, but also detrimental. It’s always a matter of circumstance and individuality. I can not answer for all, and maybe just maybe that is exactly what you seek to hear.

(P.s.. thank you for the ask!! You’re always welcome to ask me anything, ESPECIALLY in relation to the divine! I’ll do my best to explain and answer, but you always must help yourself and do your own research within the spiritual to get deep answers into your own self. I can do my best but I will always be mostly vague.)

[zmzebra-writes]

Title: Well if he won't become my wife, then I guess I'll have to man up and be the wife instead Chapters: 1/? Summary: Rinne and Hiiro talk about their relationships with others and Hiiro tries to give advice on Rinne’s relationship with Niki.

It was a warm summer day, but Rinne and Hiiro were prepared for that as they ate popsicles in the Sky Garden. It had been a while since they had been able to catch up with just the two of them. 

“Hey, brother?” asked Hiiro as he chomped on his popsicle.

“Yeah?” replied Rinne as he gnawed on the remaining stick.

“I’ve been wondering, but what’s your relationship with Shiina? You always talk like you’re married, but Shiina denies it. I can tell he cares about you, but it is very complicated to me.” Rinne raised his eyebrows. “Is it because of idol rules? Aira told me the ‘no relationships’ one is pretty strict, which is why I have to be careful in public.”

“How is the little girlfriend anyways, Hiiro? He treatin’ you well?” said Rinne.

“Brother… you’re dodging the question,” said Hiiro. Despite wanting to talk about his wonderful boyfriend, he wanted to know the truth about his brother’s relationship first. If his brother and Niki really were married, he should be calling Niki his brother as well.

“Haha, not going to let me get away this time, huh lil’ bro?”

“Brother… This is important.” 

“Mm I get it,” said Rinne, “I’ll keep it simple for you, but like Niki says, we aren’t actually married. I keep asking him, but he keeps turning me down. Always says something about the law or whatever.

“But that won’t stop me from trying,” remarked Rinne with determination.

“Because you love him?”

“Yes, but also because it feels like the best way to thank him for all the things he’s done for me. He took care of me when I first came to the city after leaving home, even when he was barely able to take care of himself. He’s a kind, incredible person, but I doubt he can see it,” explained Rinne.

“He can’t stop thinking he’s a burden, but if we were married and Niki was my wife, he wouldn’t worry about burdening me as it is the responsibility of the husband to take care of his spouse through thick and thin.”

Hiiro thought about this for a while as he took in his brother’s words and gnawed on his own popsicle stick. “Hmmm… Maybe Shiina just doesn’t want to be your wife?”

Rinne choked at his brother’s blunt words. “Ha! Yeah he does act like that, huh… so harsh little bro…”

Hiiro, seeing his words being misunderstood, waved his hands quickly. “That’s not what I meant! I mean, I did, but, um, how to explain this…”

Rinne waited patiently for his brother to sort out his words. He knew his brother didn’t mean any harm and he was curious where Hiiro was going with this. 

Eventually, it looked like Hiiro had found the right words to say. “When I first started dating Aira, I called him my girlfriend because I thought he would like it since he stopped denying it when you called him that. 

“But then, after telling Mayoi and Tatsumi that he was my girlfriend, Aira got really red and went off about how he wasn’t my girlfriend, but instead was my boyfriend. So it turned out he wanted to be the boyfriend, and I’m alright being the girlfriend if that means I get to be with him.”

Rinne took in his brother’s words. “That makes sense, though I never would have expected that from your little boyfriend. He looked like he would enjoy being a wife.”

“Umu! But I believe what Aira says, and I’ll stay with him forever, if he lets me.”

“So you’re saying that if I really love Niki, I should ask him to be my husband? And you would be okay with that?” Rinne looked seriously into Hiiro’s eyes, “It’s usually pretty important that us Amagis pass on the family name, and with you being Aira’s girlfriend, I’m the only one left to do it. Personally, I don’t really care too much about tradition, but I know the village is still important to you.”

“Umu! If it will let you be happy with Shiina, I think you should do it,” said Hiiro, “Love is more important than pride.”

Rinne still wasn’t completely sold. “Hmmm, I don’t know Hiiro…”

“It’s worth trying at least. Like Tatsumi told me when I wanted to confess to Aira, the worst thing that can happen is he says no,” comforted Hiiro.

“You’re right… Wait, did you just say you went to Tatsumi over me to ask for advice on asking out the little boyfriend?!” Rinne felt hurt and like his older brother privileges were being stolen out from under him.

“No offense brother, but you don’t seem very good at asking out people you like.”

“And Tatsumi is?” Rinne needed to defend himself by dragging his little brother’s unit mate into the mud with him, “I don’t see him with any dates!”

“Maybe, but it was that or Mayoi.”

“Ah, yeah. That makes sense.”

Hiiro nodded. “I didn’t want to put Mayoi on the spot.”

“Mm yeah that’s the only reason,” Rinne reoriented the conversation, “So you think I have a shot? And you are okay with the Amagi name dying with us?”

“Umu! You taught me to listen to my heart when it comes to important decisions and I believe that if this will let you be happy, it must be right.”

“Thanks, lil’ bro,” said Rinne as he ruffled Hiiro’s hair.

[crisalidaseason]

Twenty-first entry:  Life debts and loyalty.

I always thought you owe loyalty to the ones who saved your life. I owe Xaden mine and Sloane’s for eternity, what else can I offer if not my full loyalty and respect? I thought I had this figured out, but…something I’ve been struggling to learn is that loyalty can’t be blind to mistakes.

****

“How was your sleep?”

Liam took the pain tincture from the handsome healer’s hand, drinking it at once before the acrid taste could linger. “Good enough, despite the loud thunder”

The man smiled at Liam politely “And the pain?”

“Mostly gone, thanks to you”

Though mending was painful and he could feel the faint scar sting every now and then, it was better than having to deal with stitches and ointments.

“Just doing what I’m supposed to. Are you feeling anything out of the ordinary ache? Numbness, burning or pulling sensation?”

Liam denied it with a head movement.

“Great, I believe you are ready to be discharged” the nurse announced while gathering all his supplies “I just need to finish the paperwork, just wait a few minutes”

“You’re the healer” Liam replied with a slight wink “I’m at your mercy”

The healer rolled his eyes, but the smile did not fade while he walked away. Liam laid back on the bed, waiting patiently and watching as the early morning sun continued to invade the windows of the infirmary. It was still wild to think he had lived to see one more sunrise, but he felt grateful anyways, even with the shame and guilt still rattling on the back of his mind. He could deal with that later, for now the ecstasy of being alive would do. He touched the raised scar of his side, remembering how easily Jack had reached him, how fast, even for speed boosting minor magic provided. Violet had told him about Barlowe’s strange signet, something about pushing energy into her body, but nobody knew what it was exactly - not even Xaden. Liam did not recall feeling any of the strange sensation Violet did, but whatever ability the fucker had, it could explain yesterday’s weird happenings.

“The man is dead now” Deigh murmured “but we must be vigilant. Tairn’s rider has multiple enemies who think of you as an obstacle”

“I know” Liam replied. He was aware of how many mistrustful eyes roamed his friend on a daily basis “I will be more observant”

“I expect so, boy. It is quite shameful to lose a competent rider at a mockery of a war”

“It was quite a close call, huh?” Liam grimaced “I like to think you would miss my great companionship”

Deigh grumbled in amusement.

It did not take long for the healer - whom he learned was named Yago Stillwater - to discharge him with a few pieces of advice on pain management and scarring care. It was so strange for a healer to give him so much attention and actual care when his relic usually brought nothing but neglect - healer’s code be damned when it was a ‘marked one. Enthusiastically, Liam thanked Yago again for the help, hoping they could see each other again without one of them losing blood on an infirmary table. There was a promise of more in Yago’s eyes and Liam almost felt like caving in if it wasn’t for his archive duties calling him. Besides, he had a very lengthy thanks to say and it could not be postponed.

“Take care, Mairi” Yago said once Liam opened the infirmary’s door.

He saluted he man with a smile “I’ll do my best”

There was a skip on his step by the time he began his walk back to the quadrant, but it soon faded when Liam noticed a familiar figure striding quickly on the opposite way.

“Xaden?”

His brother took even longer steps, approaching quickly and with an unfriendly face “Were you discharged already?”

“Yeah. I’m all mended”

“Are you feeling okay?” his brother inquired “those fuckers never do a decent service on us”

“Honestly, I feel great” Liam shrugged “the guy even gave me pain tincture, like, multiple ones”

Xaden seemed just as surprised “Huh”

“I know right?” he chuckled.

His brother narrowed his eyes at Liam “Was the healer good looking? Because you’re a neat charmer, brother”

“I am who I am” he replied “now, shall we return? I’m kinda starving and also have library duty with Vi”

“I’ll walk you there” his brother replied.

They walked beside one another in relative silence and Liam noticed his brother seemed more relaxed than he had been in..years? There were still dark colored bags under his eyes, but his jaw was not as tightened as usual, nor were his shoulders so tense. There was only one thing that could equally stress and calm his brother: Sgaeyl and Violet.

But Xaden was not on his flight leathers.

“So, where were you last night? I almost died and my brother did not even visit” Liam teased.

Xaden glanced at him in warning but, before he could reply, his eyes unfocused for a few seconds, as if he was speaking with his dragon. A loud thunder broke through the clear sky again and Liam practically jumped out of his skin again. At least, the flashes of lightning were not so bright during the morning as the ones that woke him up in the middle of the night.

“You were unconscious when I checked on you last night” Xaden said, completely unfazed by the loud sound “Also, I think you might have to do library duty alone. Violence is training with Carr now”

Liam paused his steps and looked outside again. The sky was clear, not a single rain cloud.

“Is that Vi?” he asked, dumbfounded.

His brother nodded.

“It’s not raining…” he mumbled “Xaden, it’s not raining and she’s conjuring lightning!”

“I know”

“You seem oddly calm about this” Liam inquired suspiciously “was the whole middle of the night thunder also her?”

His brother nodded, though his answer almost seemed absent minded “She’s having a hard time controlling it”

More thunder and flashes of lightning cut the sky above them. Liam tried to see where the lightning was coming from, but he could not identify it.

“The girl is on the mountain, about half an hour away from the fortress” Deigh replied.

More lighting struck. Liam felt bad for her, his own signet did act up when he manifested, but it wasn’t like shooting lightning out of nowhere, only some headaches and sensibility to light.

“How is she?” Liam asked “about everything”

His brother’s breathing choked for a split second “In shock. Killing Barlowe did not settle well in her mind. She’s not very happy about her signet either”

Liam felt the guilt rise again. She had her first kill trying to protect him, even if Barlowe deserved what he was given. Despite the nickname Xaden had given her, Violet was never one to enjoy violence or act on it if there were other options. He knew she wanted a signet that reflected that.

“Only Violet manifests a rare signet and gets mad about it” Liam mumbled.

“She will be the most powerful rider in this continent, Liam” his brother’s voice was somber “her power is…we all know the legends”

Xaden did not need to fill the blanks for Liam to understand what he meant. Leadership was probably thirsty to sink its teeth on her, use and exhaust her. She was the ultimate weapon for something she had no idea existed. If they were not careful enough…

“She has to know” Liam whispered, but the grip he had on Xaden’s shoulder was firm “She has to know, Xaden, from us”

Xaden looked defeated as he leaned on the wall of the bridge, occasional flashes of lightning pointing the importance of their conversation. Reminding them of who they owed honesty. If they kept the truth from Violet and she found out from leadership or worse, they could lose a strong ally.

“We know Violet enough, brother. She’s every bit fair, but if we keep lying to her this will end up a disaster for all of us”

His brother’s eyes held something Liam never imagined could cross his features, not even after they were all besieged in Caldyr all those years ago. Something his brother never displayed even when he made the deal, or the day he left for his own Conscription.

Xaden was insecure.

“If we want her on our side, fighting for what is right” Liam continued “we need to tell her the truth”

“Until Aetos steals her memories and we’re all fucked?” Xaden’s voice was on the verge of trembling.

“We both know Aetos is not the reason you keep secrets from her” Liam scoffed “You’re scared of her reaction and opinion about you”

Xaden grunted, standing up straight “You’re gonna be late, let’s keep going”

“So you’re going to run from the conversation again? Really, Xaden?”

His brother sent him another glare “Now is not the time. Not here”

It’s never the fucking time with you. It was always like that, Liam told him the ugly truth and Xaden ran away from it until the consequences hit them all. Violet was not an exception. Xaden was clearly falling for her - or had already, in Liam’s opinion - and his brother was scared, insecure, that she would never return it or end up resenting him. It was frustrating to see Xaden make a mistake so simple to solve, that sitting down and talking to her would be the solution to many of their issues. Unfortunately, where Violet valued open communication, Xaden was pathologically against opening up.

“Look” his brother sighed when they reached the quadrant “the last thing I want is to fight with you after all that happened”

Liam crossed his arms “Me almost dying has nothing to do with the fact you’re repeating a mistake”

Xaden groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose “I promise I’ll give your words some thought, just not now. A lot has happened and I am still fucking processing it”

“Alright”

****

Violet’s head of brown and silver was swimming through the sea of students entering the mess hall, going in the opposite direction. He could not see her properly amongst all the other people and quickly changed his route.

“Where are you going?” Rhiannon asked.

“I’ll be right back” he shouted “Save me and Vi a seat!”

Liam moved smoothly through the current of cadets, bumping into a few people and apologizing on the way. Once he finally stepped into the empty halls leading to their rooms, he saw her practically sprinting down the hall “Vi!”

She turned, shock in her eyes for a brief second before her face lightened up and her steps changed course. Despite his better judgment, Liam embraced her tightly, lifting her feet from the ground.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, stepping back and scanning him. Her face was flushed red with exertion and her flight jacket and uniform shirt draped over her forearm, there were squiggly patterns on the skin of her exposed arms.

“I am a rider, you know?” He mocked “I’m supposed to be here”

She rolled her eyes at him “I mean why are you not resting?”

“I’m all healed now”

Her face fell to his side, gaze unfocusing and a shadow of worry crossing her features “Were you mended?”

He lifted his shirt, showing the scar “See? All good”

She shivered at the sight and he quickly dropped the fabric “Hey. I promise I’m good”

Violet nodded, her pale eyes back on his face, but her face was not less somber “How’s the pain? I have tinctures”

“It’s okay” he waved “perks of being this handsome is that the healer was very nice to me”

She chuckled and he soared that his attempt at cheering her up worked.

“Alright, handsome guy, I’ll be with you for breakfast soon. I just have to freshen up” she said with a pointed look “and I don’t need a bodyguard for that”

“Sorry, but I’m back at your service” Liam smiled, making a point to plant his feet on the ground dramatically.

She rolled her eyes and gave him the clothes draped over her arm “hold it for me, then, servant”

He scoffed, watching as she entered their communal bathing chamber. Violet took her sweet time - Liam was about to rush a girl in a bathroom and suffer the wrath - and came back looking considerably less red than before. She took the shirt from his hands and buttoned it again, but did not put her flight jacket on.

“Quite mean of Carr to train you before breakfast” Liam commented, noticing her trembling fingers.

“He gave me some, but I’m fucking starving either way” she grumbled “never thought using a signet could be so…draining”

They resumed their walking back to the mess hall, and Liam felt at peace again with the routine.

“Jesinia missed you today” he commented “ ‘Library duty is not the same without her, no offense Liam’ were her exact words”

Violet smiled “I’m gonna miss her too. I was banned from library duty until I can control it”

“I heard the lightning” Liam chuckled “badass, though you almost sent me into cardiac arrest in the middle of the night”

Violet’s face went unexplainably red and she shook her head vehemently “I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t know you could hear it all the way to the healer’s quadrant”

“It’s okay. You’ll get the hang of it, as usual”

The mess hall was already visible, the noise inside indicating almost every cadet was already in there. Liam took the opportunity to clasp Violet’s shoulder and stop her.

“Jokes aside” he said “thank you. Really, Vi”

She pursed her lips “It’s my fault he targeted you, the least I could do was save you”

“Hey, Barlowe was an asshole. It’s not your fault that he acted the way he did. You rid the world of a cruel person, Vi. He would not stop at hurting me”

“He almost killed you, Liam. If it wasn’t for…” she paused “you were so close to dying”

“But I’m here. Alive” he shrugged “thanks to you and Tairn. I’ll be forever in your debt”

“Saving a friend is not a debt, Liam” Violet argued “You owe me nothing”

“Still not going to stop me from repaying you somehow” though he doubted anything he did would be enough considering the lies he kept.

“You could repay me by requesting a vacation” she deadpanned “no bodyguard for a week, how does that sound?”

“A resounding no”

Previous chapter

Next chapter

[howlingday]

A Terrible Choice

"Alright, I'm heading to bed." Emerald said, getting up after a long time sitting on the couch. The others were watching something she didn't really care about, but she didn't feel like sitting around in her room. "G'night."

"Good night!" Everyone else called, with only one of them filled with enthusiasm. Oscar watched her as she left for her room, letting out a sigh as he laid back with half-lidded eyes.

'Another night, another echo of affection unanswered.' Ozpin said with his own brand of sarcasm.

'Can't you let a guy dream?' Oscar replied in his head.

'Only when you are sleeping. And even so, this is a terrible nightmare that you refuse to wake from. You do realize that it's only a matter of time until you fade away.'

'Don't remind me.' Oscar slumped. 'What should I do?'

'Forget about Ms. Sustrai and focus on yourself.'

'I mean about dating Emerald.'

'I know what you meant.'

'Come on, Ozpin, haven't you ever been in love?'

'I believe we no longer need the Relic of Knowledge to know that answer.' Oscar groaned.

"Everything okay, Oscar?" Ruby asked. "Is the movie getting to be too much for you?"

"No, I'm just... talking with Oz, y'know?"

"Oh. About what?"

"Trying to watch a movie here!" Nora yelled, making the movie even more unheard.

"Sorry!" Ruby squeaked, then shifting to a whisper. "What were you arguing about?"

"Uh, well... Hey, Ruby, had did you know Whitley liked you?"

"Well, he did tell me, but... He also picked me a bouquet of roses after I helped move Weiss' stuff into her office. He said it was just a thank you, but I could tell it was him telling me he liked me." She giggled. "Guys usually don't know how obvious they are."

"Huh..." Oscar considered what Ruby said. Was he oblivious to how obvious he looked to Emerald? If so, then why didn't she respond to him?

'Because she's expecting you to grow out of it.'

'I wasn't asking you.' Ozpin rolled his eyes. How? Oscar just knew.

"Well, I gotta go use the bathroom." Ruby said, leaving Oscar to sit and think on this debacle.

He could ask the others, but it would probably draw too much undue attention on himself, and if word got to Emerald, he might actually lose her forever. He had to really think. He couldn't solve this alone, but he also couldn't ask the others. Wait... What if-

'No.'

'Please, Ozpin! This could be my only chance at love!'

'Or it could be a disaster, like my own love story.'

'I won't make the same mistake as you did!'

'Obviously, because it's not going to happen.'

'Ozpin... Please...'

'...Very well. I suppose this will put an end to your pestering.'

'Great! So, uh, what should I do?' Oscar quickly amended his statement. 'That ISN'T giving up.'

'I wasn't going to suggest that.' He totally was, Oscar knew. Or he was at least thinking it. 'I suppose if there is any advice I can give on the matter, I would suggest doing something nice for her.'

'Something nice?'

'Something that proves your concern for her is beyond that of a normal friendship. For example, shortly after rescuing Salem, she and I rested for a night at an inn. I was about to go to bed when I heard her whimpering in her sleep. So, I posted myself outside her door until she awoke the next morning, ensuring her safety.'

'Wow, that's... That's really good.'

'A knight such as myself must always be chivalrous.'

'Okay. Okay! I'll do something like that!' Oscar beamed from ear to ear. 'There's no way this could go wrong!'

--------------------------------------------

"What are you doing outside my room?" Oscar flinched as he turned around to find Emerald looking down at him, her red eyes narrowed on him. His throat dried and he could feel his palms soak with sweat while his heart thundered in fear, rather than the usual admiration while looking at her. "Well?"

"I... was keeping you safe?"

"Safe from what?" Her gaze intensified less.

"Well, uh, I was just trying to do something nice and-"

"So you were standing outside my room like a creep?"

Oscar's eyes shot wide open as he threw up his hands in front of him. He tried to get the words out, but his tongue tripped over itself, and he babbled for a bit until she covered his mouth with her hand.

"Okay, here's what's going to happen. First, I'm going to tell you why you're a creep." He gulped. "I don't need somebody standing outside my door. If anything, I feel even more unsafe knowing that you're standing out here. Also, the fact you think I need someone to protect me really pisses me off."

"I... I was just being nice..." Oscar mumbled out. He felt like he was going to cry.

"You were being a creep." The word stung even worse the second time he heard it. She sighed. "Look, you're a nice... guy, but I don't need somebody treating me like a kid. Maybe next time you wanna be nice to me, buy me a soda, or something. Don't stand around outside a girl's room like some pervert." She slipped past him. "I'm gonna get a drink. You are gonna go to bed, right?"

"Yeah..." He muttered. "G'night, Emerald."

"G'night." He turned away and shuffled down the hall to his room.

'Great. Now I have to make double-lock my doors.' She shook her head. 'I don't know where he got this idea from, but wherever he got it from needs to get out of his life fast.'

[desi-lgbt-fest]

As a young sapphic who's still in high school and coming into her identity, it gives me chills sometimes when my mom laughs and talks of a possible near future where she hopes to marry me to a boy(and goes on to talk of how he must be from the same community and I should be glad I'm not marrying my cousin). It makes me wanna work harder and get a scholarship to go abroad as far as I can. Any advice or hope?

Hey anon, first of all, thank you so much for sharing, and know that you're not the only one who feels this way.

This is a bit anecdotal but let me tell you a story of how, literally two days ago, I went to this local south asian pride event. In hindsight, there weren't a lot of people there. Maybe upwards to about 80 to 100 people? However, when I arrived, I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of queer desi people just present. And I'm talking trans people, genderqueers, asexuals, people in poly relationships, and people of all genders in lehengas and kurtas and rainbow saris. There were people out to their parents and even more not out, preferring to live freely and safely.

Even as a queer person myself, I could not comprehend how many people there were like me and different from me. And I am fortunate to live in a very tolerant country. I remember saying out loud "Oh my god there are so many people here," and someone replying "Yeah, we exist outside of the screen too." I think it occurred to me then that maybe it's not a matter of me being alone, but me choosing to be because I'm always overwhelmed, shy, or terrified of the consequences of not meeting expectations.

Basically, anon, I'm trying to say that there is always hope. And often, community is much closer to you than you think. There are many of us living in similar circumstances. However, just like you, we fight in our own little ways. Some of us push back marriage to "focus on our careers", some might indoctrinate their parents in tiny ways until they are a little more tolerant than before, and others straight up come out after they have established themselves independently (these people are braver than any soldier to me). Either way, no matter the circumstance, we are always fighting.

Study hard, and go to a college far away. Or study hard and go to a college close by. Stay with your parents or don't stay with them. Get a job, or don't. Either way one day you will be an adult and you will find that community, and you will learn how to fight even harder than before.

[wetcatspellcaster]

A few questions, which obviously can be answered at your convenience because I don't want to add to the burn-out you're experiencing (I hope you get some rest and relaxation soon!).

1. Do I need to know anything about Dragon Age to read your other fics? I'm desperate to read anything you've written because you're so talented, but I haven't played and don't know much about it.

2. I just reread Pieces again, and am so curious to know what Rosalie's dad is like and what he thought of Astarion! Also, "Rosie" 🥰

3. I'm American, and my attempts to write English/British characters make me cringe a bit because my American-ness seems glaringly obvious. I suppose this is a bit of weird question, but I've read my share of fics where I'VE thought, "Oh, this author is DEFINITELY American" so I would imagine you have, too. Do you have any advice for writing more... authentically, I guess?

Thanks, in advance!

hey anon! sorry for the delayed reply - i was sick and trying to leave the asks with more complex answers until a time when i had more than one unhappy braincell!

honestly, a mix? my dragon age fic was the first fic I ever wrote, so it was more reliant on existing plots and I also retell a bunch of stuff, particularly in my longfic? which means that it's actually more accessible than my current fic, which tries to avoid too much replay of canon dialogue and canon scenes and so expects the audience to know them, I suppose? But I'm not good at gauging how easy they would be to read with no knowledge of say, the concept of Grey Wardens. I do have one dragon age modern AU though, which is entirely independent of canon :)

Ahhhhhh, you're the first person to ask this!! To be honest, I chose to show Rosalie's mother rather than her father bc the aim of the final scene was to give this timeline's Astarion a chance to use the Charm My Ascension Turned Evil for an utterly harmless use, as a wholesome resolution to the story! Rosalie's father is a handyman (he met her mother doing repair work for the store she worked in at the time) and so he's slightly taller/stockier than you would perhaps expect (of course, in Pieces, he's now more of a wiry and lean old man). he's soft spoken and stoic, the kind of man who deliberately wouldn't raise his voice for being seen as intimidating (particularly with the canonical treatment of tieflings by WotC) but who's opinion is often valued and taken seriously when it is offered, because it's rare for him to speak up. To be honest, I think a meeting with him and Astarion would be hilarious for different reasons, I think both parties would mostly be befuddled on first meeting bc Astarion is very performative and her father is the opposite of that. If Astarion found canon timeline Rose's 'no ulterior motives' infuriariting, I think 'no front whatsoever but also no clear indication of his opinion of me' would also cause him to have a minor meltdown.

This question is difficult for me to answer, because I unfortunately have the Posh British Accent Download and additional DLC due to certain things that happened to me in life. But to be honest, my advice here would maybe be the following: 1. try to fact check any idioms or speech quirks with either a UK friend or something like reddit, or lift them directly from British TV/film dialogue. just bc I have seen certain turns of phrase used a little off-centre and that's what tends to give it away for me? not the 'oh you're clearly american' but the 'oh, you've clearly never heard this used in an actual conversation' 2. Read authors that have a 'British' voice (I cringed, but it is true!) I'm not Neil Gaiman's biggest fan, but authors like Gaiman and Terry Pratchett have a little bit more British English in their writing and so immersing yourself in one of their novels for a bit might help you emulate the stuff I do subconsciously (others might be Sarah Rees Brennan, Kieron Gillen's comic book The Wicked and the Divine, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, the Skulduggery Pleasant series... this all depends on what kind of British you're aiming for!!) 3. The way I still get into 'character voice' to this day is just by listening to youtube clips on loop. I can't do impressions but I can try to imagine the voice saying the line i've written!

[bart1607]

Better days || chapter 2

Today I released second and final chapter of my first fanfiction! I also decided to add some additional tags, as this chapter shows also relationship between Padme and Anakin and Bly and Aayla.

Give me also some advice about AO3 age rating system. I don't know, how should I rate my work.

Please let me know, if you liked this fanfiction or it sucks!

Warnings: swearing, drunk people and Lux being dick

Link to AO3:

Several days have passed since those events. For Padmé and Anakin, the day they wanted has finally arrived. Padmé went into labor. Anakin was very upset about Padme's birth, and was still haunted by memories of visions in which Padmé died during childbirth. He waited impatiently for a medical droid or a doctor to finally come out and tell him that everything had gone according to plan. Anakin informed Obi Wan and Ahsoka that labor had begun. He wanted someone to accompany him and support him at that moment. Seeing Anakin's behavior, the bearded man decided to calm him down a little: 

- Anakin, don’t be so nervous! Padme is in the best medical facility on Coruscant, she is under the care of professionals! In addition, she is now the chancellor, so she can always count on much better specialists than others! 

- Thank you Master for these words, you calmed me down a little. Maybe I'm actually panicking too much. But it takes a while. 

- Skyguy, everything will be fine! - Ahsoka said with a smile - Padme is a strong woman, she has been through a lot, so she will easily cope with childbirth! 

 - Thanks for these words Ahsoka! 

After a dozen or so minutes, the medical droid left the room where Padme was lying and began to walk towards Anakin. Anakin sprang from the chair he was sitting on and said to the droid: 

- How about her?! Everything went according to plan? 

- Mr. Anakin, yes, it all worked out! - the droid began to say - your wife gave birth to beautiful twins! Both your wife and newborn children are safe! 

Anakin's face turned pale and he slumped to his feet. Obi Wan caught him in time, otherwise he would have fallen to the floor. All three had shock and disbelief on their faces. Everyone, especially Anakin, thought Padme would only have one child. Nobody expected twins. After a moment, Anakin said: 

- Twins! I have twins! I will be the father of two children!  Tears began to gather in Anakin's eyes, he was very touched by this joyful news, after a moment he asked: 

- Can we go inside? 

- Yes, although your friends can only come in for a moment. The patient is very tired after the whole birth, so visits from people outside the family must be limited - replied the droid. 

They entered the room where Padme lay. The sight they saw confirmed what the droid had said earlier. Anakin's wife was very exhausted and tired of giving birth, but her face showed joy and contentment. Right next to her were newborn babies. 

- Ani! - said Padme in a weakened voice - everything worked out, why are you crying? - she asked seeing tears flowing down Anakin's cheeks 

- It's from happiness Padme! - He answered her then walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. 

- How are our kids? 

- They are healthy, we have a boy and a girl - Padme said happily - take them in your arms - she added. 

Anakin pulled the girl out and carefully took her in his arms. He looked at her carefully, then said: 

- She looks a lot like you! I think she inherited many traits from you - Anakin said with a smile 

- Can I hold her? asked Ahsoka 

- Yes, just be careful - he said, handing the girl over to Ahsoka, then took the boy and said: 

- Honey, what shall we call them? 

- Ani, I think I've already come up with names that will be best for our children. I was thinking of naming the boy Luke and the girl Leia - announced Padme - what do you think Ani? 

- Padme, these are the most beautiful names. I don't think I could think of better ones – he replied 

- Obi Wan, would you like to hold him? - asked Anakin 

- Can I? I don't want to scare him… - Obi Wan started to say, but Anakin cut him off. 

- Master, you must hold him - Anakin said, handing Luke with the utmost care in Obi Wan's arms then added: 

- I feel like you're going to be a great uncle, Master! - he commented, seeing with what care his master looks at the child  

- And you Ahsoka, will be great aunt! - Padmé added in a cheerful voice 

- I have a good feeling about that! - Anakin said 

Ahsoka and Obi Wan both smiled upon hearing these words, but immediately afterwards Anakin's former master said: 

- I think we should get going now, we've been sitting here for a while, haven't we Ahsoka? 

- You're right, I even forgot that I made an appointment with Rex to go to one certain place. 

Hearing the Ahsoka’s words, Obi Wan, Anakin and Padme looked at each other and were unsure of what they had just heard. 

- With whom? - they said at the same time. 

- Well? I love him more than anything, and he loves me. And besides, I'm not a Jedi, so you can't blame me for anything. The Code no longer applies to me. 

- Calm down Ahsoka, no one is mad at you or holds any grudges. We're just very surprised by it - Anakin said, then added: 

- At least I see I wasn't the only one keeping my relationship a secret. I hope the Code will be reformed. I wonder how many Jedi still have some kind of secret love relationship, he said with a smile 

- I agree with the idea of reforming the Code - Ahsoka replied to his words 

- I support that too, Anakin. The Jedi Code was always changing. Changing some of the rules of the Code and how the Order works wouldn't be such a bad thing - Obi Wan added. 

Anakin laid down his children at this time, then thanked Obi Wan and Ahsoka for coming and visiting. 

A few days later  

Military medical facility  

As announced by Chancellor Padme Amidala, the chip removal process, mandatory for all clone troopers, began today. Each unit received guidelines on the time and place of the procedure. The 332nd company was one of the first to undergo this treatment. Rex was to undergo the procedure first. A moment before the procedure, he was very stressed, he was afraid that something might happen to him or the procedure itself would fail and he would die. Fortunately, he was accompanied by Ahsoka, who calmed him down and was with him all the time. Before starting the procedure, Rex hugged Ahsoka and kissed her before saying: 

- Just in case something... - Ahsoka interrupted him: 

 - Rex, this is completely safe! Pull yourself together and get in there! I will be with you all the time  

- Okay commander! - Rex said with a smile, then walked in. 

A few dozen minutes later  

Rex was lying in a hospital bed. He has not yet woken up since the end of the procedure. According to information from doctors, clones can wake up even after a few hours. Ahsoka sat by Rex's bedside all the time, waiting for him to wake up. She looked at the bandage on his head. This is where the chip was implanted. Ahsoka thought for a moment about what would have happened if things had turned out a little differently and taken a wrong turn. What if someone had issued Order 66 that Anakin mentioned. She wasn't a Jedi, so technically she shouldn't have been executed. But she couldn't imagine how, in an instant, the clones, the soldiers with whom the Jedi were fighting side by side, could turn against them and start killing them. At some point, she noticed that Rex began to move his fingers and slowly began to open his eyes. 

 She grabbed his hand and asked: 

 - How do you feel Rex?  

- Okay, Ahsoka - he began to grope his head at this point, and came across the bandage with his hand and said: 

 - So it was here that they installed these contrapties in us? 

- Looks like it, honey - Ahsoka said 

- You were right, it was safe, I didn't even feel anything when they pulled it out of me - Rex said happily, then added: 

- I think I slept a little, didn't I? 

- Yes, you lay down for a while, but you slept a short time anyway, because some clones may even wake up after a few hours - Ahsoka told him.  

The two talked a little more. Rex was discharged from the hospital the next day because he was healthy and did not show any symptoms that could indicate his poor health caused by undergoing surgery.   

2 weeks later  

During this period, 3 landmark events took place. The first thing was to capture the Separatist leaders. Republic intelligence tracked them down in the Mustafar system. Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker were the commanders of the operation. The 501st Legion took part in the action, including the 332nd Company, formally commanded by Rex, but in fact Ahsoka Tano, and the 212th Battalion. The Jedi agreed to allow Ahsoka to participate in the operation as an "advisor", similar to the siege of Mandalore. For obvious reasons, she could not officially command any clone unit. The operation itself went quickly and efficiently. The troops encountered little resistance, and all the Separatists were captured and sent back to the Republic, where a peace treaty was signed with them. A few days after the treaty was signed, the trials of Darth Maul, Mas Medda and Separatists leaders took place. Darth Maul and Mas Medda were sentenced to death. The charges Darth Maul has received include treason against the Republic, genocide, Jedi assassinations, leading an organized crime group, and the murder of the Duchess of Mandalore. The sentence was carried out by beheading with a lightsaber. Mas Medda was charged with complicity in conspiracy, treason against the Republic, and deliberate misrepresentation of the Senate. The sentence was carried out by hanging. The Separatist leaders were originally sentenced to death, but these were later commuted to long prison sentences. The second major event was the completion of the investigation into the Kaminoan experiments. The investigation revealed that the Kaminoans were working on cloning the Zillo beast that attacked Coruscant earlier, and they also created female clones of Jango Fett. Two such clones were discovered: Emerie Karr, an adult woman whom the Kaminoans trained to conduct research and experiments. It was supposed to help the Kaminoans in their research. The second clone was a girl named Omega. She had not yet been given any functions, perhaps the Kaminoans were waiting until she became an adult woman. Kamino was placed under the strict supervision of the Republic, and the Jedi presence on its planet was increased from one to three. Any new experiments now had to be reported to the Jedi stationed there. Correctly, Lama Su and Nala Se, as well as the whole of Kamino, should be sanctioned even more for their continued support of Palpatine's plan, but it was decided that they would act from now on on on behalf of the Republic. They did not want to waste their previous achievements, and their research was decided to be used for good purposes. The first order of the Republic was to significantly reduce the production of clone troops. There was no need to produce an excess number of clones, because the conflict with the Separatists was resolved. It was also known that clones have accelerated aging, which is why the Kaminoans were commissioned to develop a special vaccine with a special substance that would inhibit the rapid aging process and restore normal aging. In addition, the newly created clones were to have accelerated aging until they reached an age adequate to the clone's function. The last important thing that happened at that time was the issue of granting rights to clone troopers. Pantoran senator Riyo Chuchi took up the fight for clone rights, but convincing the Galactic Senate of her demands was an extremely difficult task. Although it won the support of several senators, there were still not enough senators to convince the rest of the Senate to grant rights to clones. Some of the postulates of the pantoran senator included: 

Granting a Senate seat to one clone, who will represent the interests of all clone troopers 

Granting civil rights and allowing clones to participate in public life 

Providing the clones with decent living conditions after their service ends 

Unfortunately, Riyo Chuchi knew that she had a difficult task ahead of her, and it might be some time before she could convince the other senators to support her idea. 

One week later  

Anakin, Obi Wan, and Ahsoka decided to meet at Dexter's bar, owned by Obi Wan's friend. It was Dexter who once helped Obi Wan find Kamino when he was looking for the assassin who tried to kill then-senator Amidala. The three friends talked to each other about the events that have taken place recently and the ceremonial parade that will take place to celebrate the end of the war. At some point, Rex unexpectedly entered the bar, followed closely by Cody and Wolffe. 

- And what brings you here? - Obi Wan asked 

 - Let me guess, you probably did something and are afraid to say? - Anakin added, laughing  

- We didn't do anything wrong - Rex said, then continued - Ahsoka knows why we came here, because I told her about our idea yesterday. 

 - What idea? - Obi Wan asked 

 - Well, together with the guys we thought that maybe we could invite others and organize an unofficial celebration of victory at 79s cantina? 

- So you want to throw a party, right? - said Anakin 

- We thought it would be good to integrate and get to know a little bit from a different side. Well, you understand, so far we know each other only from the military, professional side. - Cody said 

- And besides, we want you to participate, because this event would also be a kind of thanks to you! You saved our lives more than once! - finished Wolffe 

- I can count on you, my darling, right? - Rex turned to Ahsoka 

- Sure - she replied 

- And you accept our invitation? - Rex asked Anakin and Obi Wan 

- I'd have to ask Padme what she thinks. You know we have kids now and things... but I don't think she should mind. 

- It's okay, just let me know as soon as possible, because we plan to arrange it all in 3 days 

- If you're coming, I'm coming too - Obi Wan said, then added - and who else have you invited? 

- We actually sent invitations to all the Jedi who led us and some senators. There will definitely be master Plo Koon, Aayla Secura and senator Riyo Chuchi. We are still waiting for answers from the rest. - Rex replied 

- Well, this is going to be a party Coruscant will never forget! - Anakin said laughing 

3 days later  

The party at 79s cantina had been going on for several hours. Most of the invitees agreed to come, although some refused and did not come. This group included Mace Windu. Inside the cantina it got very colorful. Clones from various units came to it, which was synonymous with the fact that they wore uniforms in colors symbolizing individual units. And that's how you could watch the 327th Star Corps drink together with the Coruscant Guard and hear stories from soldiers of the 104th Battalion and the 501st Legion. Some, slightly more drunk clones arranged various competitions and games, while others danced with the women present in the cantina. It also seemed that Ahsoka wasn't the only one who had found her love in the clone. Sitting at the table, Ahsoka noticed Bly holding Aayla Secura's hand. It didn't last long, because after a while, Aayla gave Bly her gaze telling him to hide his hand, and then whispered something in his ear.  

- She probably wants their relationship to remain a secret. She is afraid that she will suffer some consequences because of this. - Togruta thought 

After a few minutes, the Twi’lek Jedi Master got up from the table and headed for the bathroom. Seeing this, Ahsoka decided to follow her. 

- Where are you going? - Rex asked 

- I'll be right back - Ahsoka replied 

Togruta quickly followed Aayla and managed to catch her just before the door. 

- Are you having fun? - Aayla Secura began 

 - Of course! What about you?  

- Me too - the two women entered the bathroom. Ahsoka quickly made sure that no one was in the toilet stalls and no one was coming. She tried to ensure discreet and privacy for Secura as possible, and she didn't want anyone to hear their delicate conversation. 

- Aayla, are you in love with Bly? 

Aayla's face was shocked, she hadn't expected such a question from her Togrutan friend. After a moment, slightly frightened, she spoke:  

- How do you know that?  

- I saw you holding hands for a moment.  

- Damn, I just told him not to do it in front of others because someone might see it. Yes, we are together, but we remain hidden for obvious reasons. - Twi'lek replied nervously, and then added: 

- We quietly hope that the Code will actually be reformed soon, so that we can freely show up together, without fear of consequences.  

Seeing Aayla Secura's stress and nervousness, Ahsoka decided to calm her down:  

- Relax, don't be nervous. You can always count on me, I will never betray you. And if someone asks, I will say that I drank too much and something predicted me or that I do not remember anything.  

Hearing Ahsoka's words, Aayla breathed a sigh of relief and hugged the Togruta saying:  

-Thanks! You don't even know how important it is for me and Bly! I am very happy that I can count on your discretion!  

- No problem! I understand how you feel, you don't want to experience extra stress - Ahsoka said. Ahsoka then left the bathroom and Aayla occupied one of the toilets. Walking to the table where she had been sitting earlier, the Togruta looked around the room a bit and noticed that Obi Wan was nowhere to be found. As she sat down at the table, she decided to ask where Obi Wan had gone:    - I'm back, where is Obi Wan?    - He said he was going to get some air outside the cantina - Anakin replied    - He's been gone for a while - Rex pointed out    - Actually, he said he would only go for a while, and he's been gone for several dozen minutes - added Padme    - I'll see what’s going on with him - Anakin said, getting up from the table 

Anakin went to the exit of the cantina, in the meantime he was accosted by a certain commando: 

- General, are you running away already? - he say a little incomprehensibly. You could smell alcohol from his mouth. He must have drunk a lot. 

- I'm just going to get some air for a moment - Anakin replied to him, and then he suddenly heard someone calling the commando: 

- Gregor! Leave him alone and come back to us! - the unknown clone screeched    - Okay, okay, I'm coming! - said Gregor, who staggered to the table from which he had heard the call. 

Anakin stepped outside the cantina and began to look around. He saw many clone soldiers and other party attendees who also went out to get some fresh air or smoke a cigarette. At one point, he noticed one of the clones vomiting and the other holding him up. Young Skywalker finally managed to find Obi Wan. He stood alone, leaning against the wall, and looking out over the panorama of Coruscant. He seemed to be thinking about something. Anakin finally walked up to him and spoke: 

- Here you are Master! And I'm looking for you everywhere, we've already started to worry, because you're not coming back for a long time.  

-You know, I left because I had to think things a little bit. Anakin stood next to him and listened to what the bearded Jedi was saying: 

- We won the war, but look Anakin at the cost to all of us. How many towns, villages, had been destroyed, how many people had lost their - his voice began to break - loved ones. 

After saying these words, Obi Wan looked up into the starry sky. Tears began to roll down his cheeks. Anakin quickly connected the facts and guessed what, or rather who Obi Wan meant:  

- You miss Satine, am I right?  

- Yes, you don't even know how much I miss her! Why did I have to suffer so much? First I lost my master, then Maul murdered the love of my life in front of my eyes! Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake. Maybe I could have left the Order when I was still a young Padawan of Qui-Gon, at least I would have spent some time with Satine. 

Anakin listened to Obi Wan's monologue and wondered how to comfort him. After thinking about it, he said:  

- Master, I think Satine would be very proud of you! You helped her sister liberate Mandalore, you can control your emotions and thanks to this you are not consumed by the dark side. Satine would be immensely grateful for what you have done so far for her, her sister, and the entire Mandalore! 

They stood for a moment in silence, which was interrupted by Obi Wan:  

- Thank you, Anakin! I needed this conversation, I had to finally tell someone about what was constantly on my heart! You're like a brother to me, I'm glad I have someone like you! - He patted Anakin on the shoulder, then added:  

- I hope that Bo Katan will consider the Jedi and the Republic's participation in the liberation of her planet. My dream is that we will finally have a good relationship with the Mandalorians. They would be good and powerful allies. May this be the first step towards establishing good relations with the Republic for the first time in history. I also hope that Bo Katan will honor Satine in some way. Despite being enemies in the political arena, Bo Katan loved and respected her sister very much. 

With these words, the two Jedi began to return to the cantina. As they sat back at the table, Padme spoke:  

- Where have you been for so long? We thought something had happened to you, I was about to go looking for you!  

- We were talking in front of the cantina, you could come to us! - Anakin replied  

A group of friends started talking to each other and sipping drinks. Suddenly, everyone heard a powerful bang and the sound of a smashed bottle. The music stopped playing and everyone started looking around the room to find the source of the sound. Immediately afterwards, all eyes were on Wrecker, who, trying to get up from the table, pushed the bottle with his hand and fell to the floor. He was drunk. At that time, Hunter burst into the canteen, who was gone for a long time. You could see on his face the nervousness of the situation he saw after entering the cantina: 

- Fuck! You cannot be left alone even for a moment! How many times have I told you not to let Wrecker drink alcohol!? shouting, he walked to the table of the Bad Batch, and there was laughter all over the room, and then the music sounded again and everyone went back to what ther were doing. 

- Echo, Tech, help me pick him up! We'll take him to the Marauder. The members of the Bad Batch stood up and slowly began to lift their friend. Crosshair was watching them, giving them his characteristic smile. 

- And what are you waiting for? Move your ass and help us! After all, the three of us will not be able to carry him! - Hunter ordered, then the sniper reluctantly stood up and proceeded to help. The whole situation looked comical! Minutes later after the incident, Padmé noticed it was time to go home:  

- Ani, we should be leaving now!  

- You're right, darling!  

The Skywalkers said goodbye to their friends and began to wait for the pilot to come after them. Half an hour later, Obi Wan decided to return to the temple, and an hour later Ahsoka with Rex left the canteen. It was late at night and more and more people were starting to leave the party. The party in the cantina has already ended, but everyone who was there will have nice memories of the moments that they experienced together with their friends! 

One week later  

The day has come for the parade that will march through the streets of Coruscant. It was decided to organize it to celebrate the victory of the Republic in the devastating war for 3 years and the defeat of the Sith. Representatives of military units from other planets were also invited to the march. Only senators or leaders came from some of the planets, because not every planet had its own armed forces. The most important people in the Republic sat in special seats. Right next to Chancellor Amidala, the Jedi Council and some military commanders took their seats, including Wulff Yularen and the not very popular Wilhuff Tarkin, who did not have a very good reputation among clones. Next to them were senators, leaders of planets invited to take part in the parade, and other Jedi. Ahsoka also sat in the VIP area. Her contribution to winning the war and her help in command was appreciated, despite the fact that she was no longer a Jedi, and she was allowed to sit next to the most important people. A large crowd of citizens gathered around the entire route, who wanted to take a closer look at the presented military equipment and the march of soldiers. The march was opened by a representation of the Coruscant Guard, led by Commander Fox. Seeing the commander of the Guard, Riyo Chuchi began waving at him. Ahsoka has heard rumors that Pantoran has crush on Fox. Right behind soldiers was the passage of BARC soldiers on speeders. Moments later, LAATs in the colors of the Coruscant Guard flew over the heads of the assembled crowd. This was followed by a march by the 501st Legion and the 332nd Company. Ahsoka quickly grabbed her holo-tablet and began recording the march. Rex asked her the day before the parade to record the moment when the unit she had commanded would be walking. Rex was very curious to see how his team fared at the parade. The clones were followed by AT-TE walkers and AT-RT rovers, and ARC-170 and Y-Wing star fighters flew in the air. After passing these walkers, the audience saw the representation of the 41st Elite Corps, which took part in the Battle of Kashyyyk. The soldiers were followed by HAVv A6 Juggernaut tanks, followed by clones from the 327th Star Corps. Suddenly, a huge shadow appeared over everyone, the assembled crowd reacted quickly and looked up to see what was above their heads. A low-flying Venator-class star destroyer appeared before their eyes. After passing all the representatives of individual units of the Grand Army of the Republic and troops from other planets, at the end the Volunteer Army of the Republic, a newly formed formation of the armed forces of the Republic, was presented. It was open to citizens who were willing to defend the Republic against threats and to bring peace to systems that were turbulent. The elite unit of the Republic Volunteer Army, whose members were the best of the best, were stormtroopers. The purpose of both groups was to carry out anti-terrorist operations, escort VIPs, conduct peacekeeping missions and support the Grand Army of the Republic. After the parade, many important personalities decided to speak and give speeches. 

One month later  

The Galactic Senate has finally reached a breakthrough! Pantoran Senator Riyo Chuchi's demands to grant rights to clones have been implemented! The first clone in history to represent the clones' interests in the Senate is Rex. Initially, he did not want to accept this function, because he believed that he was not suitable and did not know politics. However, he was convinced by Ahsoka and his brothers, who explained to him that there was no better clone than him who could act as a senator. In addition, he could always count on the support of the Chuchi, which somehow became a symbol of the fight for the rights of clones. Eventually, Rex agreed to serve as senator of all clones and began drafting the first bills, which he wanted to introduce in the Senate after some time. His additional task was also to supervise the observance and fulfillment of Riyo Chuchi's postulates. Unfortunately, not everyone was happy with Rex's Senate seat and support for Chuchi's ideals. One such person was Lux Bonteri, a senator from Onderon who had crush on Ahsoka in the past. One day, he led to an unpleasant situation in which he humiliated Rex and the other clones and insulted Ahsoka. After the deliberations, Rex went out into the corridor, where the Togruta was waiting for him: 

- Hello my senator! - Ahsoka said with a smile  

- Hi! - Rex told her, then kissed her on the cheek 

 They began to head for the exits, and Ahsoka asked him:  

- How was today?  

- Honestly, it's nothing interesting! - Rex began to say - we still vote only on taxes and some unimportant bills. The job of a senator is not as exciting as serving in the army! 

They both laughed and then continued talking to each other about slightly different topics. However, they did not notice that they were being followed by Lux, who after a few minutes of tracking decided to speak: 

- Well, who am I seeing here, Ahsoka Tano! - he said dismissively - I see you like to fuck with clones! I still love you all the time, please be with me! You'll have a better life with me than with this... thing! 

On the faces of Rex and Ahsoka, first there was shock caused by the words of the Onderon senator, and then nervousness. Rex was about to punch Lux in the face, but Ahsoka stopped him. 

- Fuck off from us, okay? I never felt anything for you and never will! We won't be a couple! - Ahsoka said furiously 

- I still think you're making a mistake. I also believe that giving "test tubes" a seat in the Senate is the biggest mistake the Senate has made! Now listen to me CLONE! I will always vote against the bills you support and create, and I will ruin your senatorial career. - Lux, after saying these words, spoke to Ahsoka: 

- And you got kicked out of the Order for being a whore or there was other reason? 

Rex couldn't stand it and finally reacted to Lux's words: 

- Listen to me now, you bastard! First, no one asked you for your opinion on my bills and the wisdom of giving clones a seat in the Senate. Secondly, you can vote against me, I am supported by the majority of senators anyway, so your miserable opposition will make me laugh. And thirdly, if you continue to insult me or Ahsoka, I will talk to you differently! 

Ahsoka listened with bated breath as Rex crushed Lux. She had never seen Rex in such anger. Lux was speechless, he didn't expect Rex to answer him so harshly.  

- What choked you up so much,? In the Senate, you're never talkative either! - added Rex Wanting to prevent further escalation, Ahsoka grabbed Rex's hand and said:  

- Let's go Rex, leave that jerk already! 

The pair turned and walked away from Lux with a little quicker step. The Onderon senator stood stunned for a moment, then walked in an unknown direction. Moments later, Ahsoka began to say to Rex: 

- Thank you Rex for saving me from him!" I've never seen you like this. 

- I just hate it when someone insults the woman I love - Rex told her - They may offend me, but I'll never let anyone talk badly about you! - as he said these words, he put his arm around Ahsoka. 

A few days later, Ahsoka and Rex learned that Lux had been dismissed as senator by his superiors in Onderon. Apparently, he was demoted to some insignificant position because of acting in the Senate under the influence of emotions and neglect of duties. For Ahsoka and Rex, this meant that they would probably not meet the problematic senator soon. In the meantime, a group of clones from the 501st legion came up with a very good initiative. They secretly collected money that they want to spend on building a monument commemorating clone 99, who died defending Kamino, and Fives, who was wrongly shot while trying to apprehend. The idea was supported by Senator Rex, and after a short time it was decided that a monument to clone 99 would be erected on Kamino, and a monument commemorating Fives would be placed in the square next to the wall with the names of soldiers who died during the first battle of Geonosis. Boards were added to each of them with information about both clones and the deeds they performed. 

3 weeks later  

A touching event took place at Ryloth. On the initiative of the parents of Numa, a girl who was saved during the war by the clone Waxer, it was decided that one of the rebuilt schools would be named after the fallen clone. The opening ceremony of the school was attended by Boil, the clone who found the girl with Waxer, Obi Wan Kenobi, as well as Senator Rex. Jedi Master Kenobi himself has also been commemorated. In one of the cities, an avenue was put into use, which was called Obi Wan Kenobi’s Avenue. Meanwhile, the Republic began to withdraw troops from planets that had previously been covered by hostilities. On some planets, however, it was decided to leave small garrisons, in which soldiers changed every few months. Republic also began to monitor the situation on Mandalore, which was still in conflict. Although Bo Katan Kryze managed to control a much larger part of the planet, there are still isolated groups of rebellious Mandalorians resisting. Several times there were negotiations with the Mandalorians, who did not want to submit to Bo Katan, but they did not bring any result. Small Republic troops were left on Mandalore after the siege to provide assistance to Bo Katan, but they were too weak, so discussions began to send a peacekeeping mission led by the Jedi to de-escalate the conflict as soon as possible. 

2 weeks later  

A very important and personal event took place for Anakin. After much discussion in the Senate, slavery was finally banned across the galaxy! Anakin, who was a slave as a child, like his late mother, welcomed the news. This decision also marked the launch of many operations aimed at breaking up human trafficking groups and freeing slaves. Aayla Secura and Bly also had reasons to be happy. The Jedi Council began to implement a project to reform the Code. This meant lifting the ban on attachment. It was also decided to send a peacekeeping mission to Mandalore. These were some of the most serious steps to restore justice and peace to the galaxy. However, the Republic still had a few problems ahead of it. These included piracy, cartels and other criminal groups, terrorist organizations and planets that were lawless or mired in civil wars. However, it was only a matter of time before the Republic dealt with these problems. Everyone knew that better and safer times had come!

[jaytoons7]

❛ you’re my family too. ❜ - Ulle and someone else of your choosing!

Ulle frowned as she ate some food in the cafeteria. She had been previously working all day to avoid some negative thoughts creeping in her mind. But they unfortunately seem to have returned...

She almost didn't notice that Scottie was suddenly sitting across form them. "O-Oh. I didn't see ya there." She hid her distress behind a smile. "You on break?"

Scottie shrugged. "I'm pretty much done with dinner for today, So yeah. I'm just eating my dinner now."

The two sat in awkward silence before Ulle spoke up. "I-I have a question! If it's too personal, You don't have to answer it!" Scottie raised an eyebrow before finally nodding. "Alright. Shoot."

"D-Do you ever miss your family..?"

Scottie was silent for a good minute after that question was asked. Ulle suddenly worried that she crossed a boundary and was fully prepared for Scottie to yell at her. She wasn't expecting Scottie to answer like this:

"I... Don't know..." Their voice sounded uncharacteristically quiet, Almost sounding unsure of their own answer. "It's... Complicated. I never wanna go back but... I-I dunno... Whatever I answer probably won't make any sense... Why did you of all people wanna know..?"

"I..." Ulle felt reluctant to answer before sighing. "Today would've been my grandma's birthday... A-And since I never got to meet my dad and mom died when I was little, She was the one that raised me." Tears formed in the corners of her eyes. "I-I know I have the Toppats now, B-But it still hurts..."

Scottie quietly listened, Before at least attempting to think of an answer. "I can't really pretend to know how that feels..." Scottie admitted. "From what I know, Our childhoods were very different from each other... But if you want to know my advice or something, I'll tell ya' only if you wanna know. I ain't gonna force nothing down your throat."

"No! No! I wanna hear it!" Ulle quickly nodded. "Th-That's why I asked you in the first place! I wanted your opinion!"

Scottie gave a weak smile before looking at the table. "I guess what I've learned is that conflictin' feelings like this are... Normal I guess?" They played with their hair a bit. "Like, It's normal to love your new family while missin' your old one. In your case at least. That's probably really dumb advice..."

"N-No, It isn't!" Ulle quickly spoke. "I get what you're saying! I have been feeling super conflicted lately... I just didn't really know how to word it. At least I know now how I'm feeling."

"And it's not like ya' have to go through that alone." Scottie hummed. "You have your family here after all."

"Yeah, But Scottie..." She went over and hugged them. "You're my family too. I know we've had our differences before, But I really do care about you. Thank you"

Scottie's eyes widened before they hugged Ulle back. "N-No problem..."

Ulle let go of Scottie before giving a teasing smirk. "Buuut, You do still owe me for that strawberry cheesecake." Scottie's eyes widened and they nervously laughed. "Th-That's fair. I-I was really actin' like an idiot huh..?"

"Yep!" Ulle replied with a smile. "A stupid dumb idiot! But that's why I love you!" Scottie rolled their eyes before a smile smile appeared on their face.

"I love ya' too."

[fanficsqueen03]

Chapter one : I will send you flying to your mama's laps , son .

I'm super duper excited to write the very first chapter . Tell me how it is . If y'all got any ideas , pls tell me . This is the introduction . Enjoy !!! Every time I write a chapter it is from Matrix's Pov .

' Remus , get your lazy ass out of bed ! ' I yelled . ' I'm up , okay ' he answered back . I rolled my eyes at him. I went downstairs and started making breakfast . I feel so nervous yet excited I'm starting my fourth year at Hogwarts instead of Ilvermony due to the dark times with my best friend Jacob . His parents passed away in year one due to Voldy the baldie . I feel like beating his ass. What if anyone discovers my powers, oh shit I'm burned toast.

Suddenly, I feel someone kiss my cheek. ' Good morning bestie ' Jacob greeted me with a grin . ' Good morning second best friend .' I greeted back with a smirk .' How dare you ' he gasped . ' Geez , I was just kidding .' I laughed . ' Good' He said with a satisfied smile. ' Good morning kids. Are you guys excited to attend Hogwarts ?' he asked , taking a seat next to Jacob . ' I'm so damn excited ' we said at the same time. Dad chuckled.

I served them their pancakes , putting extra maple syrup on their pancakes. They started gobbling down their pancakes. ' I swear your pancakes get better every morning' Jacob said with his mouth filled with pancakes. ' Aw , thanks Jake' I said , feeling happy. ' I will miss your cooking more than you ' My dad said . ' Hey ' I glared at him. ' Kidding ' he smirked . I rolled my eyes at him.

Just then , Remus came downstairs and sat down . ' Good morning family' Remus said. Everyone responded back. Why the heck was he so damn formal ? ' I passed him his special chocolate pancakes. ' Thanks sis' he smiled . ' Meet me outside the house with your bags ' Dad told us , going out the house. I quickly took my bags along with Jacobs .

I stood outside the house with my dad. ' Matrix , be careful of your powers . I told Professor Dumbledore and Professor Mcgonnell about your powers . Dumbledore will train you every Friday' My dad explained to me. ' Yes dad , thanks' I smiled at him . Thats when the boys came out . ' Grab my hands kids' Dad said . Remus and I grabbed his hands while Jacob the dumbass grabbed my dads head. When we reached the station , Jacob fell on dad . We couldn't stop laughing at them.

Once we reached a wall, Remus grabbed Jacob and I and ran through the wall. The magical station was much more different then Jacob and I expected. We went nearer to the train . ' Take good care of yourselves .' Dad told us while hugging us . ' Yes sir ' I playfully saluted him before doing my handshake with him. ' Go and get a good compartment ' He told us , smiling and walking off to go and talk to a couple.

We went into the train which had a bit of a crowd. We may or may not have lost our tour guide aka Remus Lupin. ' Shit , we lost your shitass brother .' Jacob cursed. ' Lets just in here' I told him. We sat down there , chilling . ' Jake , I need to pee so badly' I told him before rushing off to the toilet. After doing my business , I bumped into 3 dudes , wearing weird robes. I really need to give them fashion advice.

' We have never seen you before , who are you ? 'The first one asked . ' Oh , I'm new here. I'm Matrix . What are your names ? ' I replied , with smile. ' What is your bloodstatus ? ' They asked. ' Half-blood .' I responded back. ' Stay away from us filthy blood' They glared. ' You re just a bimbo .' They laughed . ' Shut up or I will send you flying to your mama's laps .' I glared . ' You re just a girl , what can you do ?' They laughed again. Oh , you don't know who you just messed with. I thought to myself.

Thats how the three boys ended up on the floor , crying for their mamas . Thats when Jacob and my brother came out of no where with 3 girls and 3 boys while I was shoving one of the dudes in a compartment. ' Matrix , what on earth are you doing ? ' Jacob asked me . ' Seriously sis? ' Remus asked. ' Sis??!!' The 3 boys and 3 girls yelled in confusion. ' Thats my sister , Matrix and that's Jacob our friend , they just transferred Ilvermony to do their year four her' Remus explained . Jacob shook their hands. ' I would high-five y'all but my hands are covered with blood and I'm currently shoving some mamafuckers in here so um give me a moment' I told them before I continued shoving them . Once I was done , I closed the compartment door and turned to face them with my signature grin.

' She is hot ' One dude and girl said at the same time. ' Back you sexy girl .' I winked.' What happened earlier young lady ' Remus asked . ' You know I'm a feminist right and when someone insults you by saying what can a girl do ? , a um ghost starts to possess me and uh made me beat up these mamafuckers' I said shrugging . The 3 girls and 3 boys start to laugh. Remus and Jacob just shook their heads. ' Lets go sit down there , its a big compartment' Jake said . ' Give me a moment.' I said before opening the compartment door where the mamafuckers were at . ' You messed with the wrong bitch in the wrong era ' I yelled at them before closing the door and going inside the big compartment leaving the others surprised. ' Matrix , this is James, Sirius, Peter, Lily , Dorcas and Marlene ' Remus introduced . ' Oh , nice to meet y'all .' I smiled. They smiled back. I noticed Lily staring at James with regret in her eyes. Sirius was staring at Marlene with heart shaped eyes while she was staring at Dorcas. Damn a love triangle . ' We reached Hogwarts guys .' Remus told us.

I'm leaving yall in suspense.

[meruz]

im gonna reply to some asks but not that many bc the last time i tried to type up one of these posts i accidentally closed the tab and lost like several paragraphs so now im scared

lots of heavypaint questions

@porch-gremlin

its the fan tool on heavypaint!! which is a free drawing app that i love a lot. and the fan tool is my fave its kind of a crutch actually im trying to use other tools gkfdhgsdg but its so fun i can do a whole painting using it exclusively. heres a video of it in action while i mess w the configuration options. u can slide the noise jitter up and down so its more or less streaky hehe ^^

thank you!!! heavypaint ROCKS!!!!! I love it... its like the only art program ill be a shameless shill for lol

also im flattered you think of my art while playing splat...i should draw more splat i feel like i havent done enough.

my phone!! I have a samsung galaxy note 20 that I am still not done paying off LMAO.... but I've been a galaxy note user for years. combined with heavypaint its a shockingly good mobile sketchbook.

I'm sorry it's crashing on your tablet... I don't have a tablet so I don't really have an advice. Unfortunately because HP is a small dev app it can be kind of finicky... especially in between updates. I think if you reached out to vaughn ling/heavypoly he'd probably respond though! he seems to keep up with the community pretty well.

@hellisrealsign nice nice.. I'm glad our tastes match up a little! hopefully that means you don't mind my frequent fandom jumping LOL. I promise to always be true to my homestuck-loving infinity-train-loving self.

LMAOOOOOO I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME? (covered in blood)

idk is it worth it to read any shounen manga for female side characters?????? (??) HEAVILY DEBATABLE. on one hand the casual observer would say no but on the other hand femslash shippers are the strongest people on god's green earth and will endure great tortures for paltry table scraps.

I think mha is a good manga but it's still a shounen, some of the tropes they squeeze the girls into kind of suck. I can kind of put my annoyance aside because regardless im still a big fan of cool fight scenes and the power of friendship but I think your mileage will vary depending on how much tolerance you have for that kind of story...? There's an awful lot of chapters afterall. I will say this: though toga and ochako aren't the main characters they're not in the background either. the path of their relationship spans multiple arcs across the entire manga and is both plot relevant and relevant to the greater themes/thesis of the story. it's pretty clear that the mangaka and editorial team are dedicated to giving these characters the time and page space to play out. it's not perfect but thats better than a decent amount of big shounen femslash in my opinion? shrugs

Thank you! for both the compliments and the concern. but I want to assure you that... to be perfectly honest I don't think I'll ever stop posting my art regardless of AI. I don't want to make this into a hot take like this is an entirely personal opinion and I don't expect any other artists to share my position but: Everything about my art that I consider valuable is inherently impossible for AI to replicate and everything about my art that is replicable and monetizable is not something I'm interested in owning or protecting. (this is also why at the end of the day i dont really care that much about art theft, tracing etc. and i think 90% of the time style theft is just silly)

I believe art should be freely shared and to restrict that is to make art into a product which is morally despicable and moreover uninteresting... to me. lol. I DO RECOGNIZE HOWEVER I'm very lucky to have both more of an online audience than I even want + a fulltime job that takes the pressure off any of my other art to make money. it's totally valid for other artists to have differing opinions on this especially depending on personal circumstances. AND also I make art that is primarily a product above all else for work everyday so im a hypocrite but. yeah thats my two cents.

I love posting art online LOL. I do it because its fun for me.

HAPPY NEAR YEAR!!!!!!!!!11111111

[minmin-pal]

you don't have to send a reply or even an answer really, i know it's close to the time so please feel free to ignore this and give yourself some time or just do something else you'd like other than answering a tumblr ask lmao/lh/gen

welcome back to custard/mikey/mustard/🍮 speedrunning asks in 2 hours go!

'Trying to become happy by doing assassinations' caught me off guard but yay I've already properly fixed and added the stuff you said to my watch guide, i appreciate the 'using the wrong pronouns for extra concealing' lol, ty jjba veteran for ur wisdom :pray: /gen

i've gotten so used to expecting them to come back too lol, but yes alright, thank you for the advice :D maybe i can somehow make it thru jjba with even a quarter of my feelings intact? (I'm not confident in that either ::/j/lh)

and woah I'm glad you were able to enjoy naruto! and yeah truee the possessed fox mode(?) thing always looked so cool and reminding is understandable lol, and now that you mention it he really would've been that one friend everyone would have in elem lmao. his cheery, rebellious to teachers and pulls pranks, he definitely would've been a popular kid or something during elem (is elem the same as primary school? ;;)

ngl i'd maybe say the reason gaara was more appealing than sasuke is maybe he was actually a nice character?/lh also younger gaara was very adorable to watch but yeah sasuke was just being a tad bit of an asshat lol

and ohh, people's opinions on tsunade is often positive leaning but it's neat to hear your thoughts on jiraiya and orochimaru are often like switched, if that makes sense? it's fun to see other opinions finally exist lmao, jiraiya was weird as heck but he had that character appeal going on somehow lol/pos

the 'hercules-corona borealis great wall' new term i never knew existed, ty for this brain food :pray:

and ah, somehow that single image you inserted of the dude drawn in the first style explains it (art looks nice though, muscles so cool omg/lh/pos)

I'm getting the same feeling that aot will end in the same-ish manner that killer in love did, just completely turn everything on the viewers heads and make us all feel emotionally exposed or smth lol, i'm gonna have to put on some protective gear before restarting the anime ;;

oh wait there's a csm part 2? I haven't heard much about it though it makes sense if his still working on it, and yep csm has already been added to my to-read list and csm2 is joining >:)

oyasumi punpun sounds very cute, i will be checking that out now, i need to feel feelings again after speedrunning killer in love lol/hj/lh

"boy's abyss" added to the collection (i will actually finish this list I swear lmao/gen) help naur "you didn't dislike kokoa, and that's really telling of you as a person" had me worried if it was bad for a few seconds TT/lh

and yeah I'm really glad they made her kinda of a victim too, really pulled the story together especially in the 'backstory leading to her walking off into the distance' ending (and yeah don't worry about any of it being too short or anything, it's understandable so pls don't strain urself :D/lh)

oh yeah, seeing a character make the same decisions or do the same thing as you and it's being shown/viewed(?) as a bad thing, is definitely an eye-opener moment

i don't know all the details and this might seem unwarranted but you were both human and I'm sorry they left you so suddenly (i'm not trying to come as all like- dunno pompous or anything i swear ;;) not trying to argue since it might've been the healthy decision for them and i can respect that, i'm sorry you had to be left alone so suddenly though/gen (i hope this didn't come off badly ;;/lh)

we're speedruninngg :run:

and yay, yeah i really did it like it, thank you again for getting me to read it/gen the wholw story and it's art in general was very lovely:]<3

(mustard is my new, nEW name that will appear on my birth certificate lmao, also how did i not think of that sooner it was literally staring me in the face lol)

i'm answering the first of the 'thank you and nice to meet you' post thing and i reached where you said you were physically running out of time and i am also running out of time physically, the irony is making me cackle lol/hj/lh

it makes me a bit sad too, but i'm really glad i did meet you (as much as meeting you counts to stumbling across your blog?) i might not have said this enough times, but reading you rant off on random tangents and just talking about silly random stuff that you liked and things that mattered to you was genuinely a very fun experience that i won't be forgetting./gen

mayb the afterlife or void or whatever turns out to be meeting you there, does have wifi, i mean you can never be too sure right lmao? I can imagine it might just be 2 bars or something tho lol/lh

bye bye to you too min, and yeah no worries, the end poem has a special place for me so i don't consider it corny at all that you brought up, not gonna lie the first time i read your response seeing the response just made me bawl harder lol,

you like showing me stuff and i like watching you show me stuff, it's very fun would reccomended:D/lh reccomended:D/lh

don't be sorry, you don't need to be/lh/gen

thank you for that, (am i allowed to save it?/genq/nf) making you tear up was the goal muahaha >:)/hj/lh

even if it's not new, i stand by "all min art is good art", thank you. genuinely for everything min. this has been a very nice few 47(?) days of knowing you and i'll always check back on here, i know you said promises don't count to dead people, but welp unfortunately one of us will still be alive and chilling so that promise is gonna get fulfilled >:) my evil masterplan all along, it's gonna take you so long to scroll down thru my jjba review part 1 ask with the shitty wifi in the afterlife/again, whichever ends up waiting

i'll take care of little dustball min >:) could go to a cat cafe, i heard you liked cats./lh

It nice meeting you min, thank you for everything genuinely, it's been nice.

love you stranger :D

gonna go offline permanently in 5 mins (plus i will be deleting a lot of posts- just cus i dont want to be known for some of these) so i cant go too indepth

im really happy we spoke. i sometimes would worry that people who found me off my more. sad stuff would never know me much and im happy u let me . not be so depressing and let me rant about fuckin g jojos bizarre adventure to you

thanks mustard custard mikey and see u in the next ecosystem

[regretisstoredintheme]

HI OMG!!! IT'S YOU I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND YOU AGAIN HIIII!!! You are so awesome I'm so happy you exist please continue existing argahhrhs I remember sending an ask a long time ago and you replying so nicely and making me happy and I have not forgotten about you since (I forgot ur username but also I forget my own birthday so like/lh) rahrah I hope that's not weird m sorry if it is I uhhh

Neeways for the asks thing!! If if you're still taking (idk when u reblogged it I didn't see)

what made you start your blog?

tell a story about your childhood

what’s some good advice you want to share?

Pls have the greatest day and have a very good year this year (im manifesting it this is a threat/silly)

AAAAAAA YOU FOUND ME!!!! WELCOME BACK MY CHILD COME HERE!!!

Thank YOU for existing 😭😭 I’m literally nothing w/o you guys I love you so much — which ask we’re you if you don’t mind me asking??? :0 I don’t remember a lot of my works BFJBSJS

anyways! Answer time!

what made you start your blog?

I started it because I had been talking to a mutual on another account I believe? In any case @tmntxthings is a huge reason why I had the guts to post my stuff :(( ❤️❤️ they were a huge support and even gave me ideas for my first post: Leo x ShyFelineReader. They are AWESOME and you should check em out >:)

share a childhood story!

Ooo boy… which one should I pick? Alright. I don’t remember a lot from my childhood, but this one’s pretty funny in hindsight.

in 5th grade, I was definitely the “everyone needs to act their age” kid.. it wasn’t cute but anyway— one day when I was playing on the playground I noticed a little spider in the wood chips. I bent to look at it and a few girls surrounded me to see what I was looking at. They freaked out upon seeing the spider but I insisted I just wanted to help it and attempted to scoop it up.

just then, a shoe comes out of nowhere and steps on the spider (and, effectively, my fingers.)

now I have a huge respect for life, so my teachers pet looking ass stood up and shoved this girl. Not like pushed — like SHOVED. “That’s an innocent creature! This is his home! It WAS at least— how would you have liked it? How would you like it if I squashed you and left you to die!?” Looking back I was intense asf as a little 12 y/o but eventually I ran off after scaring the shit out of this girl.

I… ended up apologizing once my favorite teacher’s aid had us talk to each other but STILL BADASS FOR A TEACHERS PET WHO DIDNT GET IN TROUBLE FOR ANYTHING!

what’s some good advice you’d like to share?

honestly? For someone who’s just starting out as a writer, especially a fanfic writer, here’s what I got.

Write your favorites. Nothing quite like writing what you want to give you motivation. Have an idea? Go! Do it right now! Write the dumbest version! Build the skeleton that will build your life. It’s worth getting over the hurdle of just… starting.

Don’t do requests you don’t want to. take this with a grain of salt, but you’re never going to please everyone. It can be great to get out of your comfort zone and try new things with new characters, but if you’re just starting out? Stick to the ones that make you excited, the ones that make you think “that’s such a good idea!” Or “I know just the setting for that!” And take the idea and run with it!! Most tumblr users don’t even expect their ask to be answered.