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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago

Text

Bouquet

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having come clean about being single for a very long time now and considering herself completely out of the dating scene, Y/N’s confession is taken and responded to with a ton of kindness, especially from a special someone...

Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it was such a joy to write! I’m so sorry for the long wait you had to go through but the fic is finally here and I hope you enjoy reading it! Love, Vy ❤

I roll out of bed with little to no desire to start my day. We haven’t got a scheduled stream for today and the clouds glooming in the sky seem to be promising rain so really what do I have to get up for except that it’s a rule society installed?

Just kidding, I’m basically stalling and that’s all.

So what happened was the streamer gang and I were playing Among Us last night and our conversation during the pause between rounds somehow swerved into relationship territory. I stayed quiet the majority of if not all the time because I had no valid input to offer.

If you know me you know I’m not one of the performers on the dating scene. I have never really confirmed it with my fans - well, until last night, that is - but I bet they have picked up on that fact considering I’ve been on YouTube for around a decade and have never had a partner. That being said, I’d have to also mention that I have in fact dated but someone but it was before my YouTube era started. Me choosing this career path, which back then was just a hobby, had nothing to do with the relationship ending but it still motivated me to not to actively look for a relationship while I’m still focused on my career. It’s too much work, too much stress and requires a lot of balance I most certainly either don’t have or I don’t have the energy to put in balancing my romantic and professional lives. Luckily, no one’s ever pressured me into finding a significant other, not yet at least, so no societal pressure for me!

But I gotta admit I felt real awkward admitting all this last night.

“Hey Y/N what do you think? You’ve been awfully quiet?“ Rae asks, causing me to jolt in my seat from where I’ve been reading my chat for the past five minutes, my mic muted.

I quickly unmute to reply, blushing ever so slightly, “Um, sorry I was reading my chat. What do I think about what?”

“The gesture of giving flowers to your significant other, is it romantic or a waste of money and plant murder?“ Rae explains, still managing to catch me off-guard with her question.

I ponder what my response should be for a little bit before deciding to level it to a neutral level where I almost sound indifferent, “It is in fact plant murder basically and artificial flowers would definitely be a better gift - plus they’ll last longer.”

“Mhmm yeah that’s true.“ Poki agrees with me, “But there’s still the question of whether it’s a romantic gesture or not. I personally don’t think it’s overrated or cheesy, I actually quite like it. What about you, Y/N?“

And now she’s got me in a real trap that I can’t wiggle out of without speaking my truth. I don’t know where this sudden anxiety around the subject came from but it now resides within me rent free and makes me feel self-conscious and embarrassed of the confession I’m inevitably make.

“Um, I wouldn’t know for certain, I’ve never received flowers myself...“ I say sheepishly, cringing at the sound of my own voice, “It’s not like I’ve dated plenty of people and the one guy I did date wasn’t really romantic or anything, I mean - we were teenagers, after all. But when I think about it in theory I think I’d like the gesture: it’s thoughtful, plus you get a temporary but beautiful piece of décor out of it.“

I’m gonna hope I didn’t sound too pitiful or desperate. Of course I’m not gonna check afterward on the stream cause I’d rather live in the illusion of having sounded humorous rather than be given the confirmation that I didn’t.

“Wait, wait, wait, did you date your last boyfriend like a decade ago?“ Corpse is now the one talking and that makes me feel even more anxious. This is not the impression one would want to give to their crush, is it? Oh well, no turning back now.

“Correct.“ I reply with a laugh that I hope didn’t sound as nervous as it was.

“And you’ve never, like in your whole life, received flowers from someone?“ He sounds astonished which sort of makes me want to shrink up in my shell like a turtle. Too bad I don’t have a shell though. I’m genuinely thinking of the option to rip the router out of the outlet right now to save me the troubles but I’m not that immature. I’m surprised I’m even reacting this way - this topic doesn’t usually bother me at all but now for some reason I’m red as a tomato and shrinking in my chair.

I know what the obvious answer is but I’d rather die than admit to it.

“Yeah, yeah, I know it sounds bad but I really don’t care.“ I make an attempt at changing the subject, swerving it back to the main topic rather than my lack of a love life, “I do, in fact, find the gesture sweet - it adds vibrancy to the relationship just like the flowers would add vibrancy and color to the space they’re put in.“

“Oh my gosh, that’s such a cool analogy!“ Rae gushes, “You’re totally right, it might be an old trick, but it’s aged like fine wine.“

Phew, God bless you Rae.

“Exactly, exactly.“ Corpse agrees as well but I don’t think he’s fully heard what Rae said since he sounds to have fallen in deep thought.

At least I got away with it with only making a SLIGHT nervous wreck of myself.

Yikes, was that horrible, though I don’t people will remember it for long. Sure, my fans have sent me thousands of lovely messages and pictures of bouquets and will maybe continue sending them for another day or two - which I highly appreciate, don’t get me wrong. I’m severely touched by this gesture of theirs and it almost makes me glad I finally ‘came clean’ about my romance-less life - however, it’ll fade overtime. I mean, who the heck cares if I’m single or not?

As I pour the milk over my cheerios which I’ve been snacking on dry for the past half hour as I rifled through the many notifications clogging up my lock screen, I hear the doorbell ring. I’m understandably puzzled by this, seeing as how I never get visitors so that doorbell rings only when I’ve ordered something, be it takeout or a random item off Amazon. However, I can’t remember ordering anything, at least not anything that should be arriving at the moment or even anytime soon - that glow-in-the dark curtain isn’t supposed to arrive until next week. I make my way to the door, unbothered by the fact I’m still in my pajamas, and take a look through the peephole.

It’s a delivery guy...and he happens to be holding a huge-ass bouquet.

“What the...“ I mutter to myself as I unlock and swing open the door in the blink of an eye, “Hi?“

“Hi there, are you Y/N L/N?“ The delivery guy, who I’ve seen many times before and who I’m on pretty friendly terms with, asks me jokingly, sending a wink my way.

“I sure am.“ I reply, my gaze fixated on the breathtaking flowers he’s holding, “But those can’t be for me, that’s for sure.“

He fishes looks at his clipboard one more time, nodding before he looks back at me, “I double and triple checked, Y/N, they’re for you. Here, have a look if you don’t believe me.” He turns the clipboard for me to see and he is actually telling the truth. I mean, I doubt he’d have any reason to lie to me but mix-ups happen all the time.

“Um, ok thanks. Sorry for the halt, it’s just...I’d hate to be the recipient of the flowers meant for another girl.” I apologize as I take the bouquet for him, still in awe of the fact I’m the one it was made and meant for and sent to.

I say a quick ‘bye’ to the delivery guy before practically running inside to inspect this bouquet for a card from the sender. I have my guesses: it has to be someone who was present during the stream last night and someone who knows my address. Hopefully it’s someone from my friend group and not a fan who watched the stream and just happens to know my address. I’d still appreciate the gesture, but I’d also install security cameras if that was the case.

Something about the color scheme of the flowers - pink and black - gives me Rae vibes since she constantly teases me about my aesthetics contradicting each other. But then again, Poki does it too so it could be her as well....

Oh...OH GOD IT’S NEITHER OF THEM

~ ~ ~

I’ve been sitting here, keeping myself a safe distance from my phone so I’m not the first one to send her a text. So I don’t ask if she got what I sent her. So I don’t ask what she thought of it, how the bouquet looks in her living room, how it smells, how it makes her feel. I have so many questions so that phone is best off at a major distance from me. I’m the one who’s better off with such a huge distance between me and the device, to be perfectly honest.

Was it a bad idea? Should I have slept on it - or just thought about it longer cause sleep and I don’t get along? Should I have at least waited a day or two? Should I-

My phone vibrates with a notification and I practically fly to it from across the room, grabbing it and unlocking it asap. My heart sinks and takes off like a rocket simultaneously when I see I’ve been tagged in Y/N’s Instagram story. I nervously tap the notification that sends me to the picture of the bouquet I sent her with some text written over it.

“Thank you, Romeo ;)“

Somehow that one sentence answers all those aforementioned questions.

Is this what people refer to as butterflies in one’s stomach? Cause it feels significantly more like a crush...oh wait.

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junicai · 4 years ago

Text

Relationship with Stray Kids

➣ CHAN ☾ dachan

daeun is chan’s baby and the fact that she’s only two years younger than him changes nothing

really really dependent on his approval. especially on mixing during the first few songs for skz

skz has a completely different sound to what daeun was used to, and changing her production style to mirror that was a challenge

there are a lot of clips in the first few episodes of the survival show of daeun sidling up to chan with a notebook in her hand

and them sitting beside each other on the sofa while they worked

you can find dozens of ‘Bang Chan doing the Proud Dad smile because Daeun existed’ videos on youtube

its a very common occurrence

hence why daeun hates hates hates being told off by him

its never anything serious

but she always feels so guilty afterwards, and then she’ll cry and then chan feels guilty

and it’s a whole guilt-fest

so daeun usually tries to avoid having to be told off

now that doesn’t stop her from telling him off

can and will drag him out by the ear if he stays in his studio for too long

that’s a lie

she’ll just stand in the doorway and pout until he saves his work down and leaves

works every time

sorry but this man loves to pick her up?

its a problem

girl isn’t even hurt or tired just piggybacks

always

he said he likes to carry her because he knows that she dances in heels for so long so her feet must hurt more than theirs does

YEAH-

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

chan walks at the end of the group, we all know this. but the one time he wasn’t, was when daeun was the second last getting out of the van, and had to dip back in to snag the bag she had left behind. already three strides into the building,

chan - upon realizing that he had seven heads in front of him, and not eight - spun around in a circle, eyes wide and shoulders pushed back as he tried to peer over the crowds. when he spotted daeun, he took her bag from her hand, snagging her hand in his other one, and refused to let go of her until they made it safely into the venue.

➣ MINHO ☾ mieun

actually attached at the hip?

genuinely

like, no one was going to peg the very intimidating and sullen looking-fellow with the bubbly bitch with pink in her hair and yet:

✨besties✨

it’s comical

minho’s dry humor perfectly balances with daeun’s unique blend of absolute buffoonery

they have a lil tradition before they go onstage of exchanging bracelets

yes, they have matching bracelets

it was minho’s idea and yes, stays freaked out

it’s like a little, ‘see you on the other side’ thing

because lord knows daeun spent hours upon hours running herself ragged in practices until all hours of the night

and minho Wasn’t Having It

so the bracelets are a little. U Got This. from him

really doesn’t like it when she cries

to the point where he’ll do absolutely anything to get her to stop crying

it was then, that daeun discovered that minho gives god tier hugs

God. Tier.

minho and daeun cuddling when they’re drunk? more likely than you’d think

they’re hilarious together, and probably one of stays most preferred ships with daeun and any of the boys

the twt threadfics here are Legendary

the most popular one is a coffee shop au - where daeun is a struggling literature grad, and minho is a long-suffering night shift worker

absolutely does not tolerate any kind of hate towards daeun - verbal or otherwise. he blew a fuse the first time she trended for sexy pictures someone had taken of her at a fansign

daeun had to tell him it was fine twelve times before he calmed down

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

daeun pulled down her skirt again for the nth time, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. she had her ankles tucked behind the leg of the chair and her hands folded over her lap to try and prevent anyone getting a glimpse up further into her skirt than was strictly necessary, but was - ultimately - doing a poor job of protecting her modesty.

leaning over, minho took a glance at daeun shifting uncomfortably in her seat again, and shucked off his jacket - leaving him in a thin t-shirt in the cold breeze. before daeun could protest, he had laid the jacket over her legs, tucking it in and then sliding his hand in between hers and holding it tightly over his own lap.

➣ CHANGBIN ☾ dabin

same age siblings !

both being in the ‘99 line, and with daeun originally training to be a main rapper than a vocalist

they were pretty comfortable around each other having spent so long training in each other’s presence

in fact

they even performed a duet together for one of the monthly evaluations

that was when they really became friends so to speak

daeun fell asleep during one of their rehearsals on the floor of the studio

and changbin couldn’t just, leave her

so he ended up staying with her the whole night

was she embarrassed in the morning? yeah. and then changbin told her off for not prioritizing sleep more, and then she was more embarrassed.

now in the group, their dynamic settled into something extremely comfortable

when daeun was first introduced to the boys as a team, changbin was the only one she was completely comfortable rooming with

his studio? nah, their studio

did daeun sit in on a lot of the 3RACHA work prior to debut? yes, solely because she wanted the experience, and changbin said she could stay

it is actually his studio, but there’s a small collection (read: four) of soft pillows in the corner of the room for daeun to sit on as they work

according to her, she works better on the floor

changbin can’t find it in him to refute the argument, so he always ends up down there with her, with sheets sprawled over the carpet

when he started working out, he started taking daeun to the gym

swole buddies

except daeun wasn’t allowed to build muscle and just had to run on the treadmill the whole time and changbin wasn’t made about that. he wasn’t.

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

changbin and daeun being the mafia when playing with skz and neither of them being able to look at each other without laughing. every time they’d make eye contact, daeun’s lips would twitch up, and changbin would have to turn away to cough into his arm lest he give himself away.

ultimately, they lost - much to the chagrin of the pair, who wailed at their loss and proceeded to drink their sorrows away with the coca cola that they were sponsored for.

product placement at it’s finest, even if it was a metaphor for alcoholism.

➣ HYUNJIN ☾ dajin

lil beans

babies

awh

not at the start but now, yes.

he was wary around her, at first because hyunjin knows he’s attractive and the Last Thing He Wants is a groupmate that has a crush on him

so he was a bit, cold and aloof with daeun at the beginning of the survival show

he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression !

but then

then

daeun apologized to him in her video message after her elimination for ‘upsetting him, and making him feel like he couldn’t be comfortable around her’ and dear god

hyunjin’s heart = broken. destroyed. shattered into pieces.

he still feels Very Guilty about this sometimes because he knows that his attitude towards her played a huge part in her feeling alienated and not like she belonged in the group

daeun tells him it doesn’t bother her but he knows

they talked through it though

good communication besties

A+

he doesn’t call her noona though

he did, once upon a time, but then daeun felt weird because realistically, there’s only four months between them and that’s not enough to make her any more of a noona to him than he is a hyung to jisung and felix?

they have a little rountine now, when either of them are upset

they pack up all the emotions for a little bit

into a little box

get out a laptop (doesn’t matter whos)

and just cuddle, with some blankets, and a terrible show or movie that they’re not really watching until the person is ok to talk

arguably the most healthy friendship you will ever find

therapists around the country are giving standing ovations

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

felix padded into hyunjin’s room to shake the boy awake, before catching sight of an already-awake daeun wrapped in his arms.

“noona?”

“help-” she gasped out, patting frantically at hyunjin’s arm that was firmly wrapped around her middle. “he won’t let go. it’s been an hour.”

felix bit his lip, trying to stifle the laugh that was threatening to burst out. “i don’t know, you look pretty comfortable.” he began backing out the door.

“felix. lee felix. lee felix you come back here!” the harsh whisper-shouts echoed down the hallway after the giggling boy.

➣ JISUNG ☾ jidae

partners in crime

probably have committed some crime together at some point but there’s no proof so chan can’t yell at them for it

they met when daeun first sat in on the 3RACHA meetings

did someone say: soulmates

changbin is convinced that the angel choir played when they first locked eyes

like this

jisung kicked the angel off of daeun’s shoulder and now it’s just him and the devil racking up reverse-brownie points in daeun’s conscience

he’s been a wonderful influence, truly

to be fair though, daeun did attempt to convince him to stop eating ramen every day (to a varying degree of success)

to no degree of success actually. she just takes him out of the dorm to eat it now, but chan doesn’t need to know that bit

daeun? did you mean: jisung’s pillow?

anywhere, any place - he just flops down onto her

many head pats

they are both givers and receivers

no words spoken only HEAD PATS

the comfort is exchanged through osmosis

jisung is wholeheartedly against her ever getting a boyfriend

Absolutely Not. she is theirs, and he will glare at anyone else who dares to Look At Her

nap buddies

they get a combined total of negative six hours of sleep per week so they always end up napping together

it’s very cute

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

less of a ‘moment’ and more of a series of events that STAY found hilarious?

we all know han jisung’s iconic converse. they’re legendary. unofficial skz merch.

right well, daeun was seen wearing them out and around a few times by fansites, and one of them asked had she bought her own pair after seeing jisung’s at a fansign.

daeun laughed and said no, they were almost the same size in shoe so she just borrowed his.

daeun stole jisung’s shoes.

➣ FELIX ☾ daelix

stop they love each other so much

felix said once in a vlive that he finds daeun really comforting to be around because she’s so calm

‘calm’

he had a lot of anxiety about debuting because of what jyp said to him upon his elimination *angry noises*

so daeun tried her best to alleviate as much of his worries as possible

even if that meant sacrificing her own sleep to sit with him in the kitchen and talk things out

sorry i’d like to revisit the point that They Love Each Other Very Much

felix says that he was worried about leaving his sisters behind, so having another noona was really comforting to him

daeun absolutely has an australian accent when she speaks english now and it is completely felix’s fault

he’d actively correct her pronunciation to make her sound more australian because he thinks the accent is so cute on her

aggressively cute together

you will get a toothache if you watch them for too long

someone stop them they’re so adorable

he likes to give out random compliments to see how red he can make her face go before she whacks him to get him to stop

the results conclude: a pretty nice cherry-cheeked colour

felix really lives up to his koala nickname when he’s around daeun

will latch on and will not let go until he has to

you thought chan loved felix? now see: chan watching daeun and felix

pain

its so painful he just smiles like everything is right with the world and it IS because felix and daeun are there and aaaaaAAAA-

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

a sad moment, but one that features in every compilation of daelix’s interactions anyway. when daeun’s name was called for her elimination, she closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath and schooling her face into something impassive. the boys were all staring at her with devastated looks on their faces, but nothing was matching the look that felix was giving her from his position right by her side.

he choked out her name, stumbling forwards into her arms as she caught him and wrapped him in a hug. felix apologized profusely for being the one in need of comfort, while daeun just ran a hand over his hair and told him it was alright, she was alright.

➣ SEUNGMIN ☾ daseung

protector of daeun’s sanity

she has One (1) well behaved dongsaeng and its kim seungmin

it’s not that he’s less likely to act out than the others, really. it’s that he’s the least likely to die while doing it, so that = most well behaved, in daeun’s books

daeun likes to squish his cheeks

no reason

other than, soft cheeks go squish and seungmin lets her so why would she forsake this golden opportunity

now if he wants to sit on the couch beside her he has to resign himself to cheek-smooshing

also cheek kisses, rarely. usually when daeun’s intoxicated.

the boys had figured that both of their personalities together would just merge and create an even more chill environment

calm²

but NO

pemdas

it cancelled out

they’re not Chaotic but they’re certainly not Calm

it’s a unique vibe that can only be described by this -> link

sorry

scholars but minus the education

profound visionaries but they’re blind, type beat

have the combined brainpower of the librarian gary from that one spongebob episode but they choose not to utilize it for the memes

in all seriousness though, they’re very comfortable around each other

seungmin struggled a lot with confidence during their debut months, and daeun was the only person who really knew the full extent of it all

there was a Hefty Amount of nighttime talks on daeun’s bed under blankets stolen from the living room

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

seungmin can sing, we all know that. but stray kids’ style rarely allows for full ballad songs on an album, so seungmin being given the opportunity to perform ‘Love Poem’ on Kingdom was truly a blessing in disguise. (the disguise being daeun’s re-occuring vocal nodules that left her unable to perform).

after the performance, seungmin had barely taken a foot off the stage before he was being tackled by a teary-eyed daeun, who immediately buried her face into his shoulder to stop the cameras getting a good look at her crying.

“n-noona?”

“you can sing.”

“yeah?”

“you sing so beautifully, minnie, oh my god.”

➣ JEONGIN ☾ jeondae

the first thing you have to realize about daeun and jeongin’s relationship is that both of them can be the Biggest Babies in the world

now with that out of the way

jeongin ADORES daeun

im sorry did someone say ‘noona who wholeheartedly finds it impossible to say no to him’?

i think they did

he doesn’t take advantage of it, persay

but he Does and Will use it to others detriment - especially during games

“jeongin! you told me you weren’t the mafia! i believed you! this is a betrayal!”

she’s so so smitten with him and everything he does

it is virtually impossible for her to be mad at him

he just gets a little scowl and then a soft flick on his ear at the PEAK of scolding

is the world’s worst enabler for All His Bad Ideas

often complains that he’s growing up too fast and it isn’t fair that he’s taller than her now

which he’ll then respond to by resting his elbow on her head and leaning on her, so. it never goes down very well

daeun checks his micpack for him before every stage

every. stage.

daeun is the only person who is allowed to coddle him as much as she does

hyunjin is Bitter and daeun is Smug

jeongin needs help with schoolwork? daeun would do it for him if she had been any good at school either, but alas

FAN FAVOURITE MOMENT.

chan stepped into the kitchen, camera in hand.

“what are you doing?”

daeun and jeongin shove his backpack off the table, the coloured permanent markers rolling off immediately after, two black ones uncapped in their hands.

“NOTHING”

chan looked pointedly at them, and then to the backpack that had slid underneath the table. there, written all over the straps and the front pocket were small drawings, ranging from dinosours to the words (written in very terrible handwriting, so he couldn’t be sure which one of them wrote it): “skool suks!”

chan looked over to the pair. they scrambled off the chairs, abandoning the evidence in their break for safety.

#*daeun.relationships #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids au #stray kids additional member #stray kids 9th member #female kpop #female!kpop #stray kids female member #stray kids extra member #stray kids additions #kpop additions #kpop #kpop oc #stray kids female addition #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios

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sirikenobi12 · 3 years ago

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Ok this became a whole damn book but please consider bearing with me lol.

I love Anakin Skywalker. He is possibly my favorite character in any story ever, I even relate to him a lot as someone who as bpd. People can make fun and use terms like "stanakin" and "uwukin" mockingly if they want - I AM a stanakin and I'm never gonna be ashamed of wholeheartedly loving my favorite characters. I don't always vibe with the greater Jedi fandom because of their condescending attitude towards Anakin fans - come on people, get excited about your faves and let people get excited about theirs! But I do love the Jedi themselves, all of them. The order, the council, the whole culture.

As an Anakin fan I think it kind of does his story a disservice to view the Jedi as hating him. Are there times when people in his life could have responded better to him? Yeah! No one is perfect. They could have been warmer in TPM and Yoda's advice in ROTS could have been better, and Anakin could have communicated more as an adult. But they undeniably cared about him and he about them. TCW gives us so much wonderful canon content to go on, but even if you look at just the movies though you can see that his relationship with the Jedi is mostly one of respect. Anakin doesn't always agree with the council, but he still respects them and looks up to them. The council recognizes that Anakin is reckless and emotional, but they also recognize that he's a skilled Jedi and general and they give him real responsibility because they trust he can handle it.

The only time not trusting him is ever discussed is in regards to Palpatine, who is he is close friends with. They can trust him as a person and still know it's best to not trust him in regards to this specific mission because it's too personal.

They didn't make him a Jedi Knight and give him a major responsibility as a leader in a galactic war because they hated him and didn't trust him. And this is still just the movies!

In TCW we see him using their first names and they let him which indicates closeness not formality, we see Anakin and Yoda banter and tease each other, we see freaking Mace Windu and Anakin banter! In one of my favorite early arcs of the show, the Holocron Heist/Children of the Force arc, we see Anakin meditating with Yoda, Mace, and ObiWan to find the children. Not another master or member of the council, but Anakin. Same for when Mace, ObiWan, and Anakin use a Jedi mind trick in unison shortly after that. They trust him for all of these things. They give him a padawan because they believe he's ready for it and that he and Ahsoka can learn from each other. Training another Jedi is a huge responsibility and one of the biggest indicators of how capable they view him. They compliment how Ahsoka grows under Anakin's teachings all the time.

Anakin loved being a Jedi and he loved the other Jedi. They loved him too. The problem was that he had so much rage and pain and trauma - and yeah, I think the Jedi could have helped more but I also know that to get help you have to open yourself which he couldn't do - and that Palpatine took advantage of it at every opportunity. He manipulated Anakin's insecurity and fears about not belonging or being good enough. He flat out lied to Anakin about the council multiple times (for example telling him they were furious about his rescue mission of Plo Koon when we literally saw that they were not). Palpatine fostered a resentment and divide between them that otherwise would not have been there.

I don't know if Anakin would have remained a Jedi or left to be with Padme openly, but without Palpatine's influence everything would have been different. Without Anakin Palpatine still would have had his plan for destroying the Jedi, but without Palpatine manipulations pushing him off the edge I don't think Anakin would have fallen.

Anakin is still responsible for the choices he made, terrible choices that destroyed himself and everything he ever loved. The Jedi were part of what he loved.

That's why he's such a tragic and wonderful character. He was a hero and a victim and villain. Diminishing his relationship with the Jedi, as a Jedi himself, diminishes that story.

I agree with your point, absolutely (I do disagree on a couple of your examples, but not the point you were trying to make so I'll leave them alone).

I think fandom as a whole could be better to one another, I know for myself I never even ever remotely thought of separating Anakin from the Jedi, I always thought the tragedy of his story was that they were a team/family - it wasn't until I started getting attacked by rabid Anakin fans on ANY post that I labeled as "pro Jedi" (even if Anakin wasn't a part of the post).

I think both sides are becoming needlessly defensive against the other. I do feel like I'm a broken record, but even though I'm pro Jedi Council I still love Anakin Skywalker (it is possible to love both) - he's an amazing character. He's also an amazing Jedi and friend and that's what makes his fall so tragic!! If he killed the Jedi simply because the Jedi were "mean" to him and he never really loved them, well that just robs Anakin of his redemption arc. I 100% agree with you on that point. I feel like SW fandom has bought into this Jedi were bad narrative based on a couple of terrible YouTube videos who did it just for clicks and it's really sad. It's like somehow Palpatine has driven a wedge between fans of Anakin and fans of the Jedi, when we all should be on the same team. We all need to remember:

#star wars #sw fandom #let's be a better fandom #pro jedi order #pro jedi council #pro jedi #pro anakin #answered asks #ask me things #blame palpatine

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mrygrccure · 3 years ago

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BTS aka (Bangtan Sonyeondan/Bangtan Boys/Bulletproof Boy Scouts/Beyond The Scene/ 방탄소년단)

These 7 men from South Korea were formed by Big Hit Ent. and first debuted in 2013.

The members’ names are Kim Namjoon (RM/Rap Monster), Kim seok-Jin (Jin), Min Yoongi (Suga), Jung Ho seok (J-Hope), Park Jimin (Jimin), Kim Taehyung (V), Jeon Jung Kook (Jungkook/JK/Golden Maknae)

Where do I start on how these men entered my life? and how they made a huge impact on me?…

I remember when I first saw this music video at a Korean store when I was still living in the 🇵🇭. The mv was entitled “Dope”. I didn’t know that it was BTS because I just took a glance at the tv screen and didn’t pay attention to them at first but I thought the song was catchy and all. A few months later, my cousin introduced me to BTS, she was telling me about their songs, the names of each BTS member, and how good they were and she was telling me her favorite member was Jungkook but she told me she loved all seven members. But again, I still had no interest in them. Year 2018, I heard the song Serendipity when I was scrolling through facebook. So I downloaded the song because again, I thought the song was catchy and sounded calming. I was wondering who was the singer of the song, but I didn’t know it was a member of BTS. (I just realized it later on. 😂)

Year 2019, my family and I were eating at a Korean Barbecue Restaurant (Samgyupsal), and I saw the music video of Boy with Luv and I thought the song was catchy too and it got stuck in my head. Lol.

Year 2020, I was going through a really sad, heart breaking, painful, depressing breakup. And I was ranting to my cousin about it. She brought up one of the BTS songs to me which was entitled “Answer: Love Myself”, I watched the lyrics and music video on Youtube and that’s when I fell in love with the song. And then I started to get addicted to watching their other videos because I thought they were interesting and cool to watch. From their voices, to their cool dance moves, to the fine men themselves. Little did I know that I was getting addicted to BTS. I learned about each members’ names, I even bought my first poster of them from a K-Pop store at the mall. I hung the poster up on my wall in my bedroom. And I listened to their latest track from their new album back in 2020 which was “Dynamite”. And from then on until now, I became a huge fan of theirs. I started to become a BTS Army (as to what BTS Fans call themselves). I bought my first BTS Album which was “BE” and later on in the next year I bought their latest album which was “Butter”. I started collecting photo cards and buying things that were BTS related.

On November 28, 2021. I attended my first BTS Concert at SoFi Stadium in LA. I bought my first Army Bomb (light stick) and I had the best time of my life seeing other ARMY Fans enjoy the concert and be apart of the “purple Army Ocean” and screaming “Borahae” which means “I purple you! 💜” to the boys while they were performing their songs on stage. Everything felt so surreal, dreamy and it felt like Home to me. They’re my comfort space whenever I feel sad, they make me feel like i’m not alone, they make me feel loved, they make me feel happy, their songs are healing and help with my mental health.

I just hope that I’ll get to see the boys perform in another concert and see them perform up close. That’s how much BTS has made a huge impact on my life. They are the biggest Korean boy group taking the whole world by storm today, with thousands and thousands of fans from all over the world. Fans of different races, different color, and different age gaps (whether older, teens, young adults, adults, and children). Even though their songs give us a language barrier, some of them are english songs too. Most of their songs have a interesting tune to listen to and it’s just very addictive. I never thought that the Universe was sending me signs already about BTS before, until I finally recognized the sign and accepted it whole heartedly back in 2020. It’s true that BTS will find you when you are going through a difficult time in your life. Or you’ll find them when you feel like you have no one left in your life. So Thank You Universe for sending me those signs and Thank You BTS for being my comfort space whenever I feel alone, Thank you for healing me with your songs, Thank You for making me laugh whenever I have a bad/tiring day, Thank you for allowing me to enter Your “Magic Shop”. And because of you, I was able to make alot of new friends because of this fandom. I’m glad I met BTS at the right time. 🥹🥰

I Love You My OT7 BANGTAN BOYS! Borahae! 😍🥰💜💜💜

#bts moodboard #bts #bangtan #bangtan boys #bangtan sonyeondan #my two cents #spilled thoughts #bts namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoonji #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook

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sparkles-and-trash · 4 years ago

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Modern ATLA AU Headcanons Meme

Reblog this post, and your own answers!

I love myself some modern AU's, and I love how different they all are, so, I made this so we can all share, and feel free to add characters if you want, and just not do any of these if the character isn't important to you!

General:

Bending? Yes! Always!

Monarchy? Nope

Our world or theirs? Their's all the way

Animals? Boring ones from our world, it's what I know the best lol

Aang:

Tattoos? yes, always, and I keep the inspired by the ones in the movie (the movie is awful but the tattoos are cool and actual rl inspired?

Home life/family/upbringing? I usually go with him being raised by Monk Gyatso, and keep everything else kind of vague

Major/job? I go back and fourth, but I like him as a tattoo artist, or as a vet, anything with animals, or as a nurse, preferably a pediatric nurse!

Hobbies? Skating, in any form, yoga, meditation, painting and art

Vegetarian or Vegan? I think he's be cruelty free as far as it's possible

Appa and Momo? Big, fluffy rescue dog and small, shifty cat

personality compared to canon? Pretty similar, maybe a tad less traumatized considering the war didn't happen, but he's still the Avatar, and he still suffered great loss very young

how long have they've known the Gaang? Toph since always, water sibs since middle- or high-school, Zuko either middle school or uni, spending on the story, Suki in high school when she dates Sokka

some random headcanon(s)? he doesn't drink, but he does occasionally enjoy some ouíd at parties or when others drink

Katara:

Home life/family/upbringing? Their mother died when they were really young, and Hakoda married his lifelong best friend, Bato. They're generally a happy family.

Major/job? I love doctor Katara, and vet Katara, but also Katara in Politics, working hard making the world a better place!

personality compared to canon? Extremely similar, kind, brave, not afraid to speak her mind, awkward in certain situations, a pesky but loving younger sister, etc.

how long have they've known the Gaang? meets Aang and Toph early high school, Suki pretty fast after, Zuko late high school or uni

Hobbies? Sporty, likes to play all sports but doesn't do any seriously, swimming, surfing, writing, reading

some random headcanon(s)? she very good in school, but she's not a goody-two-shoes, she likes a good party as much as anyone

Sokka:

Home life/family/upbringing? Their mother died when they were really young, and Hakoda married his lifelong best friend, Bato. They're generally a happy family.

Major/job? I always like him as some type of engineer, but anything clever and creative is cool!

personality compared to canon? Similar, but maybe a little less... insecure? in that he never had to protect for his entire Tribe very young, and he did very well in school and had lots of talent, but also he has enough struggles to not be a dick? Extremely competitive and protective tho.

how long have they've known the Gaang? meets Aang and Toph early high school, starts dating Suki soon after, Zuko late high school or uni

Hobbies? Surfing in summer, skating, always, drawing and painting, gaming

some random headcanon(s)? has ADHD, is a bi-king, very comfortable with that, and is somehow good friends with all of his exes

Zuko:

Home life/family/upbringing? Similar to canon, just a modern rich asshole version of Ozai, who's either a huge criminal or just inherited a lot of money, Ursa out of the picture, Iroh as caretaker from a young age, but still lived kinda sheltered and was very lonely in his kid and teen years

Major/job? I like tons of stuff for him, either him managing a Jasmin Dragon, preferably with him adding a book café, but also a writer, photographer or tattoo artist

personality compared to canon? very similar, but since I usually write them uni aged or older, he's more mature? But he does still have some anger management issues, can be oblivious to social settings, awkward, brash and has very little knowledge of some basic stuff due to growing up rich. But he's also very loyal, loves his friends so much, and wants everyone to be okay, all the time.

how long have they've known the Gaang? Aang either middle school or late high school, Toph from a young age, and the others either late high school or uni.

Hobbies? Writing, photography, reading, fan fiction, musical nerd, bad gamer

Scar story? Ozai, in some way, preferably when Zuko speaks against something evil he did in front of the wrong people, so similar to canon

some random headcanon? used to have a pretty bad stutter, and even tho it's almost not noticeable anymore, he's very insecure about it

Toph:

Home life/family/upbringing? Extremely sheltered, barley got to go to public school, snuck out a lot, moves out the second she can and has a tense relationship with her parents

Major/job? I never know tbh, so many possibilities, but I like her as some sort of teacher, either in earth bending, or martial art!

personality compared to canon? Pretty much similar as canon? Loud, unapologetically herself, fiercely protective over her friends, funny af

how long have they've known the Gaang? Toph and Aang since childhood, water sibs since early high school

Hobbies? passionate about good music, is a talented drummer, knows piano from childhood, is a fairly popular youtube gamer/streamer

some random headcanon? demiromantic bisexual, she teaches Zuko how to play the piano and he loves it sm it's their thing

Suki:

Home life/family/upbringing? Was raised by a single mom and has a bunch of siblings, not poor, but lower middle class, but comes from a loving home

Major/job? Professional athlete of some type, then a coach when retired

personality compared to canon? The same as for what we know! Good attitude, including, funny, very passionate.

how long have they've known the Gaang? most of them from high school when she starts dating Sokka!

Hobbies? Surfing, gaming, material arts, music, plays the bass

some random headcanon? flannel bi, has lots of freckles and big, green eyes

Mai:

Home life/family/upbringing? Similar to canon, but her mom divorced her father around the start of high school, and they had it a lot better then. She loves her little brother a lot, he's pretty similar to her and looks up to her a lot.

Major/job? Forensic Science major, usually

personality compared to canon? Similar, very similar. Quiet and calculating, but loves her friends and family dearly. Witty, in a quiet way.

Hobbies? plays the violin, reads a lot, goes to a lot of concerts

some random headcanon? I think of her as a lesbian, but I like aro ace Mai, too

Azula:

Home life/family/upbringing? Same as Zuko, but she moves in with Iroh a little later than him. No contact with her father after that tho, goes on the fitness stand against him after the Zuko thing. Very protective of Zuko, and she doesn't hide it, but she can be ruthless with him, too.

Major/job? Leadership, of some kind

personality compared to canon? She's definitely still Azula, she's amazing at reading people, can be cunning, and mean, but not cruel. Had a major psychological breakdown a few years after their father got sent to jail, a reaction to pushing everything away for. so long, and spent some time in a psychiatric hospital, and dealt with a lot with the therapists and doctors there. A very loyal friend.

Hobbies? material arts, advanced fire bending, fashion and reading

some random headcanon? was the leader of the debate club in high school, became a straight up legend in that crowd.

Ty Lee:

Home life/family/upbringing? Basically the same as canon

Major/job? professional gymnast

personality compared to canon? Same as canon

Hobbies? Dancing, cosplay, fashion

some random headcanon? Knows everyone's name, always.

Idk, tag a few people if you wanna, but no pressure to ever do it!

@flamelo @littlespoonsokka and literally everyone who wants to sorry I'm so bad at tagging jslkgg

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duhragonball · 3 years ago

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Disinterpretation

I finally finished the Sarah Z video about “pro vs. anti”. It’s pretty long, and I ended up watching it in chunks over several days, but I think it’s worth watching, especially if you’re sort of partially connected to online fandom, but not enough to be aware of all the lingo.

As I expected, the whole thing was vague and confusing because the people involved in the conflict made it vague and confusing. In theory, the full terms would be “pro-shipping” and “anti-shipping”, but it seems like it’s more about particular kinds of ships that could be considered controversial. But that’s a slippery slope, and apparently the whole conflict mutated into both sides deciding that every hypothetical relationship between fictional characters is either equally valid or equally dangerous.

Long story short, it’s just purity culture, which was what everyone on Tumblr was calling it around 2012. But now, if you’re a sane person who genuinely asks: “Who gives a fuck about Voltron?”, these people will jump your ass and accuse you of being on the side of their enemies. “Children have died over the importance of Lotor/Hagger! Your callous indifference proves that you yourself must have murdered children!”

I think what Sarah Z really hit upon in this video was that media consumption has become so ingrained in our culture that people feel like it has to go hand-in-hand with our morality. That is, it’s not enough for me to watch Star Trek, I have to justify Star Trek as evidence that I’m a good person. Maybe this is where the expression “guilty pleasure” comes from. Conversely, it’s not enough for me to not watch Dr. Who, I have to somehow convince everyone that Dr. Who was invented by the devil.

I’m pretty sure the Reylo ship has a lot to do with this, since it’s kind of understood to be a dark, problematic concept, and fans either embrace its flaws or recoil in horror because of them. Star Wars itself is a dumb story about space wizards, so people try to give the debate more weight by linking it to freedom of self expression and/or enabling real world harm. Suddenly it’s not enough to just think two actors would look cute making out instead of fighting. Now it’s this battlefield for the soul of civilization or something.

I grew up in the 80′s, when “concerned parents” and grifters would accuse the Smurfs and metal bands of promoting satanism and witchcraft. I used to hear stories of teens going out into the woods in the middle of the night to do occult stuff, and all I could ever think about was: “Why would anyone bother wandering out in the woods in the middle of the night?” Which is why “concerned parents” turned their attention to things that were closer to home, like Saturday morning cartoons. It had nothing to do with the content; it was just about finding a safe, accessible target for their hysteria. Some people want to go on a crusade without leaving the house, so they pick a fight with Papa Smurf instead of confronting the real evils in the world. Even as a kid, I knew this was a con, because I’d watched the show for myself and knew it was too saccharine to be threat to anyone.

The pro/anti folks have tried to disguise this with a lot of terminology. I wondered why they seemed to reluctant to use the full terms “pro-shipper” and “anti-shipper”, and it’s probably a couple of things. First, the word “shipper” is basically an admission that this is pointless bullshit that doesn’t matter, and they’d like to avoid that connotation. Second, they seem to have decided that this goes beyond shipping itself, into practically anything else they want it to involve. It’s all part of the con, which is to make you believe that it’s “us vs. them”, and you can be part of “us” by curating specific attitudes about Steven Universe.

Seriously, “about Steven Universe” is such an incredible punchline. You can make anything funnier by adding those three words to the end of a sentence. “Do not interact if you blog about Steven Universe.” “Hey, what’s up, YouTube, this is SSJ3RyokoLover69, and this is going to be kind of a serious video about Steven Universe.” “Mrs. Johnson, the results of your biopsy are in, and I have some bad news about Steven Universe.” It’s a fucking kids show. “Oh no, all the characters look like the characters in all the other kids shows!” Yeah, that’s because it’s a kids show. Marvin looks like Garfield, this isn’t new.

The common denominator here seems to be that both sides try to wrap themselves in the flag of vulnerable groups: impressionable minors, trauma survivors, harassment victims, etc. The “pros” want to protect those people so that they can feel free to explore weird subject matter on their own terms, and the “antis” want to protect the same people from being exposed to weird subject matter that they might not want to see. It’s all about establishing a moral high ground. Back in the day, it was called “sanctimony”.

But people get roped into this, because at their core, people want approval, and this stupid conflict offers them a sense of community. As long as you support the cause, whatever it may be, you’ll have this online friend network that appears to support anything you do. But if you deviate from their norm, you’ll be cast out. Does this sound familiar?

To use a more familiar example, I still sometimes find people clamoring about Gochi vs. Vegebul. I’ve never understood this, because both ships were canon, and I never saw much direct evidence of a war between them, but people would still talk about how crazy the Vegebul shippers were, and how crazy the Gochi shippers were, and it was like some huge thing going on just over the hills. It’s the same idea, since the idea that you could like both or neither never seems to occur to anyone involved. I never gave a shit, because I used to see the same dumb agendas in the Harry Potter fandom.

Okay, so let me take you back. It’s 2005 through 2011, and I’m hateblogging all seven Harry Potter novels, because fuck you, that’s why. The funny thing I encountered was that occasionally fans seemed to want to pretend like my bashing of certain characters was proving them right somehow. They were like “See? He hates Ron Weasley too! That proves that Seamus Finnegan is the coolest guy ever.” The Slytherin stans would do this all the time, because I would constantly take the piss out of the Gryffindor characters for being self-important dopes. I think they just liked hearing it from an outside perspective. But I had to keep reminding them all that I hated all of them. Every character from Harry Potter sucks ass. Voldemort was my favorite, but only because he was the one guy who wanted to kill all of the others. But he sucks too because he failed.

And the shippers were the same way. I’d say something shitty about Ron, because Ron sucks, and some smartass Joss Whedon fan would be like “Yes! Boost the signal! That is why Harry/Hermione is the best ship!” And I’d be like “No, Harry and Hermione suck at least as bad as Ron does. They’re all terrible and I hate them.” I really do think there was some sort of Stockholm Syndrome going on with Harry Potter books, where everyone secretly knows they suck, but the fans sort of latch on to one or two characters and go like “Well, he’s not as shitty as the rest.” Like finding spaghetti in the trash and picking out the meatball with the least amount of lint on it. Then you’d go and start a flamewar with some other starving person over whether your meatball is shittier than theirs. This is what people mean when they say to read another book.

Anyway, the big thing I picked up from Sarah Z’s video is “disinterpretation”, a term coined by MSNBC columnis Zeeshan Aleem. The Twitter thread is worth a read, but the short version is that he once remarked that a Julia Louis-Dreyfus routine wasn’t very good, and someone got mad at him for insinuating that women are incapable of being funny. They just took his dissatisfaction with one performance by one comedian as being a universal condemnation of women comedians in general. And this sort of thing is all over the internet. Everyone sees what they want to see and then they take it as permission to overreact.

I ran into this myself a while back, because someone saw who I interacted with on Twitter and decided that they’re all bad guys and if I have any interaction with them, then that makes me a bad guy too. At the time I tried to play it cool, but the more I think about it, the more it ticks me off. And over the course of that conversation, it was said that I don’t talk about myself much, and that’s kind of funny, because all I ever do on social media is write long-ass blog posts like this one. I don’t expect anyone to memorize them, or even read them all the way through, but when I write all this stuff and someone goes out of their way to say they don’t know anything about me, the message is that they just didn’t pay attention to what I was saying, and they didn’t bother to try.

So I’m a little jaded from that, because I got called out for a bunch of stuff I didn’t even do or say, and apparently that’s just a thing that happens. People will reject you for completely arbitrary reasons, not because of anything you actually said or did, and you’re left thinking you made some terrible mistake. Except, no, I’ve seen it happen to other people, people a lore more conscientious than I am, and if they can’t satisfy the bullshit purity standards, then I never stood a chance. If the game is rigged so I can’t win, then I’m not going to play.

And it’s that same condition that probably draws people into these online holy wars, because if you declare yourself for the pro or anti side, at least then you’ll have a posse backing you up. Only they don’t support you, they support your willingness to support them. Once your commitment to their agenda wavers, even in the slightest, they will turn against you.

Sarah Z suggests that both sides of the war drop the pro and anti terms, since they lost all meaning long ago. But that just invites a new set of useless terms to perpetuate the same cycle. Her more useful advice is for fandom people to broaden their horizons. She got a lot of flak for tweeting “Go outside” once, but the ironic thing is that it’s sound advice. I had lunch with my mom yesterday and it was just nice getting away from things for a while. People need to do that more often, and unfortunately it feels like it’s harder to do than ever before.

But “go outside” isn’t just a literal thing. It can mean going beyond your usual haunts, reading the same books, watching the same shows, rehashing the same conversations. I think the reason this stuff always revolves around “shipping” is because there seems to be this deep-seated compulsion to pair fictional characters off like this, and for a lot of folks it’s the only way they can consume a story, so they do. And they do it lot, and there’s a lot of them, and they do it the same way every time, and lo and behold the same old conflicts start up. So maybe “go outside” should mean “go outside of that cycle once in a while.” Just a thought.

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bitch-im-your-biggest-nightmare · 4 years ago

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𝘓𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘎𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 [CallMeCarson x Reader] - Soulmate AU

"𝘞𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨." "𝘏𝘰𝘰𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵."

. . . . .

Title: Literally glowing Quote: We’re glowing - Hooooly shit Warnings: fluff, swearing, awkwardness Summary: When you meet your soulmate, you glow like a star in the night sky. And what happens when Y/N meets her favorite streamer/YouTuber CallMeCarson who just happens to be her soulmate. Request: No A/N: I meant to get this done a long time ago, but I went down a rabbit hole that led me to Ted Nivison fanfiction and I was lost in a circle of regret, shame, and guilt. But, we’re finally here. Please enjoy this! I really want this to get views.

. . . . .

At a young age, you were taught about how soulmates work. When you meet your soulmate, you glow like the sun. When you glow with that person, you found the person that will care and love you for the rest of your life. Some people find theirs, some people don’t. Some people are scared of finding their soulmate, and when they find them they run away. It’s kinda like “Left them at the alter” kind of thing, and that's what everyone called it. But some say its “Running from the light” which makes more sense overall.

Y/N always wondered what it actually felt like to glow. Was it warm? Hot? Cold? A mixture of them all? She asked her parents, and she always replied with it as a tingling feeling of spikes and warmth. But when she asked another person, they said it was a burning sensation, yet not painful. It confused Y/N to say the least, and it kept her awake at night.

Y/N couldn’t help but have a small crush on her favorite content creator CallMeCarson. She loved his content, and always wanted to meet him in person. And that's why when she found out Carson and his fellow friends in Lunch Club were going to be at vidcon, Y/N was very excited. She wasn’t gonna be the one to make him uncomfortable even if she has a small crush on him- she just wanted to meet him and maybe get a autograph.

Y/N was aimlessly walking around the building, not really knowing where to head next. She saw some people taking photos with people, and she assumed they were YouTubers, but she didn’t really care. She saw a Tweet that everyone from Lunch Club was there, which was amazing to her. All of Lunch Club? Seriously? A bundle of disaster walking around the building is a sight Y/N wanted to see.

Y/N was never really looking where she was going, she was really just zoning out as she was walking. But she was thrown back into reality when she heard a loud scream of seemed like fans. She looked over to her side as she walked, and a bunch of people were running towards.. something. What was it? Who was it? Why is everyone running there female? Do female simps exist? But then Y/Ns thoughts were cut short when bunked right into someone, nearly falling onto the ground.

“Woah shit I’m sorry-” Y/N looked up to see who she bunked into, and holy shit was CallMeCarson and he had Travis and Ted behind him. Then, she was even more holy shited when she began to glow, and Carson did to.

They just stared at each other in shock, not even speaking. Ted was looking as shocked as them, and Travis looked over joyed. “Oh my god Carson you found your soulmate!!” Travis said happily, his smile was wider than ever. Why did Travis seem more excited than them? Only god can tell ya.

“We’re glowing.” Y/N stated the obvious, not even able to say any other words. She just found out her soulmate was her favorite creator, how could she? There were people watching now, and only some knew who Carson was. So of course, someone was filming the whole thing.

“Hooooly shit.” Carson said, his glasses slowly slipping off his nose to where Carson had to push them back up. They stopped glowing afterwards, and they just laughed awkwardly.

“Could this get anymore awkward?” Ted facepalmed, “Kiss already!”

“Shut up Ted no one asked.” Carson said a little nervously. Then he walked closer to Y/N, “Well uh- I’m Carson..”

“I’m Y/N.. Nice to meet you.. soulmate I guess?” Y/N said, rubbing her arm. She didn’t wanna tell Carson that she was a huge fan of him, she didn’t wanna make it awkward.

“Well uhm, maybe we can exchange numbers?” Carson smiled a little bit, trying to make the situation less awkward.

“Yeah, that’d be great.” Y/N smiled, but the awkwardness sure as hell didn’t go away.

“Hey do you wanna hang out with us? Since you are Carson's soulmate it would be good.. right?” Travis suddenly asked, entering the conversation.

“Do you wanna Y/N?” Carson asked.

“Yeah sure, I’d love to.” Y/N chuckled a little nervously. She was scared, to be honest. But maybe she was just nervous. She did just glow with CallMeCarson in front of many different people. And she was going to follow Carson around and get to him know him better.. and maybe even meet many other YouTubers there. So, she was going on an adventure she wasn’t ready for. She felt like she was going to fight the ender dragon with leather armour and wooden swords...

This was gonna be one hell of a rollercoaster ride folks.

#callmecarson #callmecarson x reader #callmecarson fanfiction #callmecarson soulmate au #fanfiction #oneshot #imagines #lunch club #lunch club fanfiction #lunch club fanfic #soulmate au #slight angst #fluff

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diegolabhont · 4 years ago

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I didn't mean to fall in love with you

Chapter One

Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)

Pairing: Poppy Min-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC (Beck Hughes)

Genre: None (in this post, al least)

Rating: Anyone can read it, really.

This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can someone explain to her how a person who claims to be so disinterested in the ranking was magically climbing to the top twenty?

Poppy didn’t buy it for a second, she always knew Beck were going to be a pain in her ass ever since the first time she saw them looking at her as if they weren’t impressed, but she wasn’t fully aware of how much.

“You don’t have to worry about them, Poppy” Chloe said while the strawberry blonde retouch her make up in the mirror inside her own room. “Beck is just a dude”

“Transphobia much, Chloe?” Veronica murmured playfully, wanting to start drama among her streaming fans.

“No! What I'm saying is… Beck's brain works as a regular dude, right? How much smart can they be?”

“Ha! That´s rich coming from you” Veronica laughed.

Both girls started a discussion about related shit, Beck’s brain, hormones and else while Poppy put on the mascara. Completely silent, thinking.

She treated Beck as a common enemy, she attacked them just like she would to any other lost lamb trying to be the wolf but it was not enough. Even one of those plans exploded in her own face: ruining and breaking Beck's guitar caused that they not only get a flashy and beautiful new one, but sang side by side with the one and only Jaylen Riaz, making a huge performance. Even better than hers, which was something painful and humiliating at the same time, especially after Veronica told her Beck’s YouTube channel had a followers increase, making them even more popular.

Chloe was right on something: Beck’s brain worked like a dude, and if she had learned something was that men in general were manipulable. Take a look at Michael, he was dumb as hell. Liam was a douchebag. Luis, Ford… well, they… they´re there. The only golden boy among them was Carter, and yet, he wasn´t that hard, she just gave him what he wanted in that party and after that, everything ran smoothly.

And that´s what she needed.

Poppy´s look changed, her eyes sparkled in a very malicious way and a smile crossed her face for a split second. She now had a plan, and unexpectedly, it was a Chloe attribution.

“Maybe if we accused them of cheating…?” Chloe suggested, but Poppy knew better.

“That won´t be necessary, Chlo” Poppy intervened for the first time in a while, making both girls look at her intrigued. They knew Poppy, and the little smile she had on her lips as she applied lipstick was a proof. The blonde was onto something juicy. Veronica ended the live and awaited. “Beck will be mine.”

~~X~~

It was kinda lame to her, but finding Beck completely alone under the football stands playing guitar was at least convenient. They were an eye candy from the start, that was a fact. The way that white t-shirt embraced their body was something else to see, her mind went back to the second time she saw them. The sassy rock star kind of look Beck had, even the haircut was perfect, Poppy knew that was a Zoey Wade signature and she kinda thanked her for it. Beck was damn fine, that fact made easier her plan to be honest.

“You know… You do pass pretty well as a man”

Beck stopped playing, literally frozen in place as a statue.

“What did you just say?” Their tone of voice was cold, almost insulted. Did she just get it wrong? No, she´s never wrong. A Queen can´t be wrong, especially a Min-Sinclair queen.

“It was a compliment, Farmsville” she said, rolling her eyes.

“That´s not a compliment” Beck chuckled, putting the guitar aside. “I mean, I don´t mind, but if you are going to use that to the trans community… It~ may not end well” Poppy frowned, a little pissed off. She was doing an effort, no-one had ever heard a compliment from her and this little sh… “But thanks.” Beck offered her a sweet smile a second before turn it into a mocking one. “You do pass pretty well as a woman, too”

“Go fuck yourself!”

“And now she gets it!” They started laughing, making her really angry. Poppy walked away fuming, her head up high and a killer look murdering anyone who dare crossing ways with her.

That stupid ASSHOLE. Did they THINK they could disrespect her?! To HER! She was the number ONE, the fucking RULER of the entire school. Beck was lucky enough to be in her radar and they just throw stupid shit like that!

“To be fair… I did say it first”

“I thought it was a COMPLIMENT” She fight against herself. “What am I? Some trans expert?!”

“No… But I can be. I mean, to destroy my enemy…”

“I have to know them...”

Even thought she was still mad about it, Poppy tapped wildly though her phone. She needed to do something, and she knew just the thing.

“It´s ON, jackass”

~~X~~

POV: Beck

Top fifteen. Everyone was losing their shit because they were now top twenty and Beck... Well... They just didn´t want it.

And yeah, sure, that was kinda good. The students in Belvoire had begun to pay attention to their music as well, Beck even caught a few of them listen to songs Beck wrote and some other cover as well. Their art was taking off and that was awesome, don't get it wrong, that was something Beck wanted for so long, but...

They were afraid.

What if it was because of the stupid ranking?

What if Beck just wasn´t that good, and the only thing people would want was that Beck who studded up against Poppy Min-Sinclaire and lived to tell? Even Zoey, she was talking about popularity, Belvoire elite, and some “Person to watch-out” or shit Award which yes, was huge! But… Beck really was afraid that it was Beck who puts the music high and not backwards.

What if…

What if Poppy really messes all up?

“You know… You do pass pretty well as a man”

Poppy´s words in their mind caught Beck off guard. What was her deal anyway? She came and said some weird shit, and...

Actually, everything in that interaction was weird as fuck. And not just that, Beck meet Taylor by accident later that day in the ice cream shop, they both talked a little and they found out she had a big crush onto some random guy Beck didn´t knew before.

Of course Beck was the matchmaker! They even helped her by carrying those stupid anti-diarrheic pills to the lion´s den. Ok, yes, maybe~ Beck should´ve had given them to someone and not just let them in the front door… But it wasn´t their fault that The T found out!! Poppy was losing it, and of course it was them to blame.

Why can´t they just have a normal life… with normal problems… and not… this?

“I´m dead… I´m actually dead…” Beck thought while burying their head on their hands, tired.

“Beck? Hello? I assume you heard the details of the assignment.”

“What?”

“Ehm… Yeah! Totally” Beck said with a “confident” smile that nobody believed in, Professor Roberta even frowned before going back to the lecture, while Beck tried uselessly to catch something about the assignment from their classmates´ laptops. She hated Beck anyway, but it wasn´t good news to be always in her bad side.

“Shit! Shit! Shit! … What did she say?”

“Mass comm is all about reaching people far and wide, so this project is meant to give the voiceless in our own community a voice by…”

A penetrant gaze nailed their nape, giving them chills. Beck immediately looked for that one hawk over them and not to their surprise the person found on the other side was that deadly beauty called Poppy Min-Sinclair, watching Beck as they´re a prey. Feeling really drove up the wall, Beck winked playfully at her, expecting her to look away or some rude expression towards them.

But no.

Scaring the shit out of them, Poppy actually smiled back at Beck. A sweet, flirty smile that left them feeling their heart racing as crazy and their cheeks burning red, her dark eyes so into theirs that all their system collapsed... What was happening?

“Earth to Beck!”

Professor Roberta yelled, making Beck jump a little in their sit, breaking all eye contact between them both. When did Beck turn their body completely to watch Poppy? Of course the professor was mad, Beck was practically giving her their back! As faster as they could, Beck took the right seat, being even more embarrassed now while Poppy let go a chuckle, they could hear her from any other laughter just as clearly as if she were so close.

“Oh, sorry. I… Sorry”

“Find your community service project partner please” Professor said. Beck gathered their things and head into the aisle, looking around, praying to find someone whiling to work with them and, mainly, explain to them what was that project about. The thing was everyone had already a partner. Everyone except for…

The strawberry blonde was gazing Beck as sure as someone who´s waiting for this chance can be. Smiling that same smile that caused them to feel butterflies in their stomach… Beck wasn´t sure if they were aroused… or scared.

“Professor Roberta… I need a new partner” Beck practically begged. “I´m sorry. I just can´t work with Poppy.”

The pretty but odd teacher was about to say something. Something bad based on the expression on her face, but a perfect made-up laughter cut her words, as Beck was feeling how a soft and warm hand hooked to their arm.

“Nonsense, professor! I am pretty sure we´ll be working just fine.” Poppy said, a relaxed expression drawn on her porcelain face. “Let´s go, Hughes.”

Ok, Beck was now scared. As both of them walked out the classroom, Beck´s brain was running wild, thinking about every and each form Poppy could use to disappear them from the face of the earth. Ironic, Beck survived Farmsville but they´ll be totally done in New York. Ha! Life hates them.

“Listen, I know what you are thinking…”

Really?

“... but the last thing I need right now is having my GPA taken away. So I´ve already figured it all out. We´re doing an animal shelter commercial for our project. I can ask daddy to borrow the equipment and crew”

“Didn´t think of you as a daddy person” Beck laughed, a little more repose.

“Shut the fuck up, Farmsville. This will be easy, so all I need you to do is… Oh my god.”

Poppy stared at her phone completely in shock, color draining from her face as it was sucked by a dementor.

“I have to go. We can figure out the deets later, I´ll text you where to meet me”

Then, she just left. Beck took a deep breath and let out a hiss.

“Gosh, this school is going to kill me!”

They said, who would have thought a class could be so much?

-----

#queen b choices #choices #trans #ftm #poppy x mc #malemc #poppy min sinclair #bea hughes #Beck Hughes #choices stories you play #choices poppy #choices queen b mc #mc x poppy

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popcornbutterflymedia · 4 years ago

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the teen show genre is back. that it had announced it’s grand return at such a time of deep uncertainty and unimaginable loss, especially for an entire generation of teenagers, is relief, respite, and a necessary and urgent gain. there is nothing but gratitude for this...for its intended audience and for those of us who will live vicariously through the lives of the kids, for those of us who will watch, and walk with the kids. for someone like me who longs to feel strongly about a story enough to write again.

despite my ‘desperate begging’ for the return of the youth oriented show. i did not picture this. in my defense, i did not know about this story at all. now, when i did learn the gist of the story, i did not expect much. it is, after all, a trope we’ve repeatedly seen in practically every language. in my defense, again, i would have found this show, and watched it anyway, in support of the network, probably be mildly entertained, slightly amused, and successfully distracted. and that would have been enough. i was bound to find this show, though during a deep dive into the youtube rabbit hole, chancing upon a japanese doll and an american cutie, realizing the creative team for this show is that creative team. my favorite creative team. i was sold.

i knew i was going to love this show enough to write. the question is, how? do i live tweet, take notes, and write a post for every episode, or do i live tweet take notes, listen, take notes and write one big post at the end of the series? judging by how much detail i know this team puts into a story in the form of metaphors, seeds, pay offs, connection and clues, clearly obvious in this first episode alone, this calls for an episodic post, for the peace of my own nerdy, detailed obsessed mind.

it is worth repeating that i haven’t read the book. this focuses on the series alone. no references, no comparison to its source material.

and it begins. oddly so.

first, a note on the casting: my attachment to a show is dependent on my attachment to the cast of the show. i spent the weeks and months leading up the pilot episode learning as much as i can about this refreshing cast of newbies. i’d been watching rise since it began, and so it wasn’t difficult to develop a soft spot for the five rise kids who are part of the show. as for the rest of the cast, their interviews and streams are all surprisingly impressive. i always like to say ‘walang patapon sa mga batang ito.’ none at all. they are all so special that i am in awe of how many gifted children are in one batch at one time, in time for a show like this. the teen show slot was vacant because it was waiting for these specific kids.

everyone who was given moments on this episode made the most of their moments. episode one’s surprises were criza, who is a natural. i am just grateful naih was able to use all of criza’s kulit energy. gelo, i’ve known is funny, but it wasn’t until i saw him in character that i realized just how hysterical he is. i enjoyed his interaction with ysay, i am wondering if there is more of that. v no longer surprises. i find that she is incredibly underrated still. i love that girl. fictional life sometimes clouds my judgement, ever so slightly, but these mean girls, are the mean girls i would cheer for. i’ve just been enjoying the girls’ junket interviews so much that it is also a joy to watch them in character. aimee is spunky, sophie is incredibly poised. khloe is a joy to watch, and ash just fits in, dalia...i have never seen a girl with such strong presence and beauty since hopie. i have never enjoyed watching a local queen bee as much as i feel i would enjoy, and hate to watch kim. dalia is amusing to watch too, so there’s that. joao, you know i have always found reliable and competent. limer, i am just happy an actor like him is in a show as big as this. kaorys is my in on this show. they are favorites. i adore them. she registers well on camera, and rhys is music to my ears, and has such an animated, expressive face. i cannot wait to watch their subplot and write about them in detail. i am attached to these kids. i know they are going to be a joy to watch.

melizza, melizza deserves her own paragraph. i first paid attention to when she was answering those miss universe questions on rise, and my jaw literally dripped at how intelligent she is. that intelligence shines through in her portrayal of elle. she is self-aware, and aware of her co-stars in a scene. she is conscious of where she is in a scene. she does she is a realiable actress in that there is no fear that she will break character it doesn’t have to be her scene, but i cannot help but watch her. she isn’t a scene stealer, but she is always acting, always reacting. she gets the assignment: from speaking french to playing a nuanced mean girl whose meanness, is as she understands and plays elle, stems from fear, from being threatened. i actually love that. there is no real villain in this story, just kids navigating unfamiliar, ugly, strange feelings, with limited ways to express these feelings. melizza gets it. i said i am a melizza fan now. i mean it.

donny and belle individually: i had known of donny, watched him long enough to know him, and who his family is. since he started mostly on social media, this ate didn’t quite get the appeal. no offense, it’s just a generational thing. haha! when he started acting, he was like most greenhorns to me, appeal understandable, charming to an extent, but with still so much to learn. i missed his last acting stint before this show. i did not watch jpd.

belle is a going bulilit alum. that’s all i really need to know to trust the casting. i wasn’t a fan yet. i had no clue about the story so i did not know just how much weight the character carried, but by virtue of the fact that she’s been acting the longest out of the ensemble, i knew she knew what she would be doing. i knew the management knew what they were doing when they casted her. belle as the focal point of the story lends such an air of confidence that the story will be told well and that the necessary intimacies will be handled with care. belle’s ability to transform would make max’s arc effective. i did not watch jpd. i had heard about it.i had heard it was surprise. ‘the ending part...’ it was all too familiar: lizquen, circa 2012, must be love: ‘the ending...’

it was completely blind, complete trust.

their casting made me momentarily forget that there were multiple rounds of auditions, from which the each of the cast were carefully picked. it just seemed so random, that is, in context of say, kaori and rhys that could count kuya’s house as part of their shared history. so much of my acceptance of this new pairing depended on how much i trusted the team, and how i knew they worked. i then consumed any and all donbelle content i could find, which, at that time was painfully lacking. imagine the excitement when that first general assembly officially kicked off the hih junket, from then on, they started to grow on me.

these are two calm, cool, collected kids, with a kulit side for sure, but they both take their sweet time. there is a formality and wide open space that was begging to be bridged with these two. there were times i would will myself to see it. theirs isn’t an instant explosion of chemistry, but a sustained afterglow. once that was clear, the goal of sustaining this partnership for however long, how many other stories they can tell together, also became clearer.

it was the tv patrol interview by the lockers that had me sold. it was him joking that they were already married with three kids. it was the way he looked at her in that interview, the way he still does, with donbelle, it’s all the little, quiet things. i don’t know how to explain it, but if they were to jump into the emotional deep end together, i have no fear.

now, back to the beginning which i thought was strange. a recap of what i imagine is the entire first season, artistic as it may be, is one huge spoiler. i realized, this is based on a book. those who’ve read it obviously know what’s going to happen. such opening is meant to set the mood. it’s an invitation to emotionally invest. it’s safe to say, it accomplished those two goals, but i feel as though there is more to that opening. as someone who is clueless about the source material, it reassures that it doesn’t matter what we know, or don’t know, because this is less a story of ‘what?’ and more a story of ‘whys?’ and ‘hows?’this takes me back to the first general assembly when comparisons to the meteor garden, boys over flowers were brought up. i understand the comparisons, but now that the first episode has aired, i feel so strongly against it.

this introductory montage is proof that it is not about the pieces of the story, but how the pieces are moved around to tell a story, to give us a fresh new perspective of a trope, starring stereotypical characters. the story is told in retrospect, with our lead looking back, taking all the pieces of the whole apart, rather than building the story as she goes along (which is incidentally how i like to take in stories).

the introductory montage is a device that allows a more expanded storytelling. the story is told from max’s point of view. it’s a story of how she sees things, this makes her an unreliable narrator due to her blind spots and clouded judgement. as the story goes along, the audience sees that it is not only max’s story, it is deib’s as well, and the rest of the characters’ stories, max only sees the bigger picture in retrospect. because i am such a nerd, imagine my kilig when i realize why that choice for an opening was made? i may have screamed.

notes, questions, favorite moments.

belle’s ‘sigurado,’ the first 4-5 notes of the hooked sprinkled throughout the episode.

on the road: the transition from max on the trike and deib, in his car rushing through a countryside road, if that was clean editing, i’d celebrate it...that the two people were on the same road at the same time travelling different directions is the most clever storytelling moment thus far. i love when seeds are planted and pay offs are grand. it was hardly a meet cute, but it was some intense head on collision. okay, i got it just then, the accident was a literal representation of their metaphorical colliding. it was a lot of things for her: irritation, wonder, disturbance, fascination, disruption. it was a complicated mix for him too, except clouded by the rush of having to be somewhere else other than that moment. charged. electric. spark. lightning that escaped him. (yup. more on that later).

this encounter begs the question: what was deib doing there? why was he in a rush?

the airport scene: ‘hinihintay ka na ng kapalaran mo.’ a beautiful verbal sign of things to come.

meeting daddy: it’s what uncertainty does to max that i find so disarming her fidgeting the heart shaped pendant close to her chest, summoning said heart for strength, and grace, counting on the assurance of its familiarity.

the car conversation with dad: still disarming. charming. curious. that the necklace from which hangs her heart shaped confidante was actually her dad’s gift to her mom. how heartwarming is the thought that the one thing that makes her feel close to her mom is actually from her dad who she is meeting for what i assume is the first time? i think it’s a beautiful irony.

the dinner table scene. the family dynamic it established. elle’s french, max wrestling with the chopsticks on the side.

sleepless max. her hidden vulnerability, and with whom that vulnerability finds comfort. who is babu?

max’s fist at the school entrance, and elle calling her out on it.

the cafeteria scene, and how that whole moment is the selling point of the story - brave max who does not care for the social rules of her new school standing up to the bully who happens to look the way he does. i won’t say she’s unaffected, but at that point her view is clouded with the injustice she just witnessed, that is until they recognize each other. as a side note: ysay and lorde’s interaction made me smile.

the aftermath. max has now caught the attention of the whole school, she has caught the attention of the mean girls so much so that walking down the halls is social suicide. when aimee confronted her, (sophie did so well!) my eyes looked for elle’s eyes. there were layers upon layers of emotion there: shame, hesitation, confusion, fear, maybe anger, there was a flash of her wanting to connect too, or did i just imagine it?

the gym scene with all the boys. it’s probably my favorite...not really, but it’s the scene that gave me so much, the scene that proved to me that this is more than just a simple, one dimensional teen show. this one moment spawned so many fan theories online that i have yet to read. it’s interesting when we cross that bridge, but to me for now, it is from this point up to the debate that kind of turned the tables, and gave the story a sudden depth that’s unexpected. it made the audience pay attention to deib as well, that this is as much his story too. and on the aspect of change, in one interview (i can’t remember which one), i remember belle describing max as someone who wants to change the people around her, and through that, she is changed as well. i did not understand what she meant at that time, until this. and the debate.

the debate: i just love the debate, simply because i love words, but long-winded dialogue like that is risky especially on a show like this. i loved it. i loved the rhythm, poetry, and point of it. i love how layered it is. i loved how comfortable was delivering his lines. i did not cringe, which just means he has gotten better at this whole acting thing, and it’s always a joy to watch someone breakthrough. this moment was necessary as a springboard to the next scene, to show that the rivalry isn’t just a physical one, but a rivalry of the minds too. (i enjoyed that that was pointed out in one of the kumu lives) this is also one of the scenes that proved what the introductory montage was trying to establish: that max is an unreliable narrator, that there are things she doesn’t see. i would say the tables have turned, and it has, but we also discovered that deib has always been the romantic, and max the realist. at that moment we know that max will be changed irrevocably. that ending took the wind out of me. that hurt, but it was thrilling too, made me excited for things to come.

‘love is like lightning.’ poor deib doesn’t know he has been struck by lightning, and is prone to the electricity of one. he doesn’t know it yet because of the gray sky gloom of his shattered heart.

the kiss is everything, it was shocking, kilig and all that, but in context of the story, it is more appealing more kilig to think of all the interactions that lead up to that accidental kiss, all the pent up tension in those interactions that is channeled into that meeting of lips. oh gosh! it just occurred to me, this kiss was predicated by such a verbose exchange just to prove a point, to win. it only took this kiss to shut both max and deib up. i would say there are no winners here. they are both losers to love. except. it’s still to early to call it, right?

in terms of the team up: implied as it is, this is what i mean when i say, i am unafraid for these two to go there, when necessary. there is such a safety i sense between donny and belle, in the way they care for each other. it’s beautiful.

to say that this show only promotes bullying to its young, impressionable target demographic, could not be more wrong. this show matters because it gives its characters (who are representative of today’s teen generation), complete arcs, and safe spaces for feelings no matter how ugly they are. it’s a show that allows teens to be teens, allows them to figure things out for themselves, a show that allows them to relate with one another, as they should. and the usual byproduct of emotional teens relating with one another is bullying. it’s not the best thing ever, but it is what it is. see, we can only pray and hope that the kids turn out to be good ones, but to expect kids to be perfect is out of the question. this is a work of fiction, of course there is a tinge of exaggeration. now, if you all are that bothered by the bullying, i hope there are adults watching with you. be kilig. have fun with the show, but always look deeper.

why do you think i needed three re-watches and few days for a post this long?

i am excited for the next episodes.

(if i think to add more, this will be edited).

#tv #tv: he's into her

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depressedtransguy · 3 years ago

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only allowed to keep reading if you’re @thedragonemperess if you’re not I’ll push your face into a moving fan

Loki sobbed harder as the body he had spent almost two years loving slumped against the wall with a trail of blood and other internal entities following him on the way down, squeezing one hand across his heart and one on the gun that he was still holding. Both were trembling badly. I had no choice, I had no choice, I had no choice, he repeated over and over in his head, trying to remind himself that he did the right thing, but his heart just couldn't accept that. Yet it was too late to go back. He was dead. And it was all Loki's fault.

The crying soon enough overtook his whole body and he was forced to drop down onto his knees, folding over until his pale forehead was resting against the cooling concrete and his tears were soaking the part beneath him. "I never wanted to hurt you, by god I never wanted to hurt you," Loki choked out with a following sob. Only then did he finally let go of the gun to claw at his neck as if that would open up his trachea from being strangled by tears. "I loved you. I love you."

"Oh my god, what the-? LOKI?"

A new and very familiar voice echoed against the hard surfaces and forced Loki to snap his head up to look him in the eye. His frightened eyes. Eyes that unfortunately had just doomed their host's life.

Within just seconds a knife had been yanked out of Loki's weapons belt and more blood was pouring out onto the floor, this time from a neck. His unconscious body crumbled down into the puddle. Loki felt less bad that time. The pair hadn't been as close as he had with the original victim. But the more he thought about it, Loki realized that he didn't have to die in order for himself to live, and that fact alone twisted up his guts. Collateral damage. Not great.

Loki dropped the blood covered knife with a clatter onto the floor and collapsed down to his knees once more, the second death pushing his oppressive sorrow into nothing but crushing apathy. They were dead. Because of him.

When the door opened back up behind him Loki jumped up to his feet once more-already ready to kill again-only to stop when he saw that it was Odin.

"Good, the job's done."

Fingernails dug into Loki's palms. He was the one who set him up to this in the first place. Maybe I should kill him.

But Odin was quicker.

As Loki snatched a second knife-this one more ragged-and raised it up to pierce him right in the jugular vein, Odin turned on his heel and stopped him by his wrists, then shoving him into the other wall after disarming him. Loki's head smacked into the concrete and he slid down to his ass. "Don't even think about it. I know you've heard the stories, and I'd hate for you to become nothing but a scary story to keep new trainees from stepping out of line," Odin spat, impaling the knife into the crown of the closest body's head, before stepping forward to stand upright in front of Loki and display his dominance. Not that Loki really needed the reminder. "You could've been something really great, you know? I've seen you train, I've seen you in the simulations, and I just watched you kill two of your friends almost effortlessly, you could have been the best assassin in this place. But no, you're selfish, aren't you? You had to go and start this fling with that fucking amputee, and go against everything we've ever taught you. Stand up, hitman."

Loki was forced to listen. But he was immediately struck in the face only to collapse on the floor once more. The pain of his hit shot through his nose and made his eyes water, the only tears not from sadness joining the wetness on his cheeks. He just stayed silent on the floor in fear of being hit again as the pain continued to gnaw at his face.

"We gave you a perfect road to success. And you destroyed it because you only had yourself in mind. You're going to have to make up for this." Only then did Odin wave him up from where he lay scared. But as soon as he did, knees shaking and hands shoved in his pockets to hide the trembling, a hand wrapped around his throat and tightened until he couldn't breathe. Then his surprised face was brought up close to his superior's. "Here's what you're going to do. Keep excelling in class. Keep doing what you've always been doing. But drop the little posse. And don't step out of line again, or else next time, you won't get a choice between your slow death or a quick murder. You understand?"

He still couldn't breathe, his hands grabbing at Odin's forearm and squeezing as if that would remove the iron grip from his throat, but he did his best to nod in understanding.

Thankfully after that he was dropped onto the floor and left to gasp. "You're not going to be a victim of this horror. You're going to be the perpetrator. Do you understand me?"

"Ye-yes," Loki choked out. "I understand... sir."

Odin smirked. "Good. You'll be back on track in no time to be the monster we raised you to be." With a tap of his steel toed boot against Loki's rib cage, he then opened the door once more and swept out, leaving the teenager heaving against the floor with two dead bodies, a strew of his own weapons, a knot in his stomach, and a hole in his heart.

"Monster..."

Loki felt two arms wrap around him from behind and a head flop down on his shoulder as he slipped his boots on and tightened the laces, only then pausing at the feeling of his husband latching onto him. "Nightmare, huh?" Stephen whispered against the skin of his neck. "You always get up early for work when you have a bad one."

After seventeen years together Loki was practically an open book that his husband had memorized by heart. "Yeah. It was... bad." A shiver ripped down his spine as he felt familiar fingers slowly dragging themselves over the brand on the back of his neck.

"Was it about this?" he questioned without stopping.

Wordlessly, Loki nodded. Although most of his past he still kept locked up out of fear, and Stephen respected it, he did have a vague idea. And much of that idea came from the thick red ringed brand of the numbers '4269'. It was discovered only a few weeks into their relationship, as it wasn't exactly in a hidden area, but Loki released bits and pieces of an explanation over the years without pressure from his partner.

From those alone Stephen basically knew that Loki was abandoned by his parents as a baby and handed over to some sort of group or organization that branded him as one of theirs and he only managed to escape very closely to the time that they first met. That was it.

But that was just enough for Stephen to be satisfied and have enough to comfort his husband, while Loki still had enough hidden that he could sleep at night knowing that his husband was still far from the entire truth.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Honestly he did. Every day he wanted to rant to Stephen about the trauma of his past and just how much they still affected him up to the present. But that came along with the risk of losing him and absolutely everything else, so he kept it all locked down. "Not today, I actually should get to the shop early. I owe Nebula for leaving her with a double shift last time."

Stephen accepted it, but only released one arm from his midsection, first pushing his head over to the side for a sleepy kiss which Loki enthusiastically returned. "Come to me at any time. Okay? I'm not going anywhere."

He could still read him even without knowing everything. "I will. I promise."

With a small smile, Stephen pressed another kiss to the corner of his mouth before reluctantly slipping off of him and flopping back onto the mattress. "I love you Dewdrop."

"I love you too." Loki stood up after one more kiss was shared, snatching up his phone and keys as he quietly made his way out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. There he ate a bit of a leftover bagel and cast nothing but a sideways glance at the mess on the counter, knowing that it was most likely from one of his daughter's midnight stress baking sessions, which she'd clean up once she woke up within the hour for high school. I'll have to talk to her about that, he thought as he plucked his biker jacket off the coat rack and tucked some of his handheld items into the pockets, already pushing the nightmare out to make room for his daughter. Just one reason out of many why he adored his family. As for his daughter, Hela's, problem, he was pretty positive that it was most likely about her upcoming finals, as she was a huge perfectionist that could barely handle getting a B, and her practice tests hadn't been going too well. Stephen had mostly been handling that, since Loki didn't go to any sort of real school, but he figured that maybe giving up a bit of his unorthodox learning strategies as a child could help her. After all, it did eventually lead to him speaking seven languages and knowing just as much (if not more) about medicine than his doctor husband did. Who knows, but he had to try something to stop watching his daughter suffer over her own expectations.

Right before he was about to step out the door and get to his six AM shift a half an hour early, the thoughts of his daughter reminded him that he should check on his children before he left. Many mornings he had opened his kids doors to find out that they never went to sleep in the first place: Hela from either school or YouTube and Thor from his books.

So as quietly as possible he crept up the stairs up to where dim light was seeping in through windows from the early morning sunrise, carefully twisting the knob to his son's room first and pushing it in. There he saw Thor curled up in his bed with his favorite frog stuffie gripped tightly to his chest, the small lullaby that was usually played to help him sleep floating softly through the still air, and his glow and the dark stars on the ceiling shining down on his apparently sleeping form. But Loki was smarter than that.

"Oh alright, I guess Thor is asleep then. Too bad. I guess I can't give him this brand new Frogger game boy then," Loki acted out as he moved farther into the room, doing worse at holding down his smile than his own fidgeting son. "Maybe I should just donate it since he's not awake to take it." Based on his little facial expression alone, he was having a little battle with himself.

But, eventually and inevitably, the frog side of him won.

"No no, Dad, I'm awake!" he exclaimed. "Just give me it!"

Loki grinned at his victory and kneeled down carefully next to his son's low bed, then peeling back the covers a little more to reveal a dog-eared book with a miniature flashlight both hiding under there. "Another all nighter for... Warrior Cats? Thor, you have school today."

"I'm sorry Dad, I lost track of time. I kept reading and reading and then suddenly I saw the sun start to rise and you were coming in," he hastily explained.

It was hard to be mad at that. But, although Loki had never really followed the notion himself, sleep was very important to everyone--especially growing children. "Okay Thor, but I'm going to need you to give me both the book and the flashlight."

And he did, although not exactly willingly. "Alright, good." Loki slipped the flashlight into his pocket and tucked the book under his arm. "Now I'm going to need you to go to sleep. I know your school starts in three hours and you need to wake up in only two, but any sleep is better than no sleep. Believe me. Can you do that?"

"Fine. I can."

"Good. Now please do, and I'll see you tonight. Okay?" After a nod Loki smiled and kissed his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too Dad," Thor mumbled as he pulled the covers over him and actually snuggled in that time, casting a little wave as his father stood up and rested the book on the dresser by the door.

Loki mimicked the action before closing the door behind him to let him finally get some sleep. He could only wish his daughter was doing better.

Well... at least she was asleep.

When Loki cracked open her door and peeked in, he stepped in to find her passed out on her desk, her dark brown hair strewn across the textbooks she was on top of that clearly showed what she had been doing before she had fallen unconscious. Once he was close enough to realize the latter he then began removing the most likely uncomfortable volumes and then shut off the light-as quietly as possible of course-before finally draping a blanket over her back. It was all he could do for now, so he then gently shut the door behind him and finally left the house knowing that his family was safe. Sometimes reassurance was necessary. Especially after the flashbacks to when he had no reassurance.

Loki stripped off his jacket and hung it over his arm as soon as he stepped into the heated tattoo parlor, throwing a wave to Nebula where she was bent over some muscled guys tanned back, before he stopped at the main desk to clock in. "Any appointments for the day?" he questioned as Mary signed him in.

As she, Mantis as she was known to her parlor friends, tapped at her computer, Loki looked over the many tattoos lacing up and down her revealed pale arms and internally wondered if they all had a deeper meaning like his own did. He could just ask, perhaps, as that would be a billion times easier than just wondering, but that would possibly lead to questions about his own, which would lead to a lot of fear and possibly a good old anxiety attack. Sounded fun. Oh, she was talking. "Only one, so the rest will be walk-ins. Ayesha should be here by eight with a request for some sort of New York City landscape, whatever that means, but I'm sure she'll explain it better than she did over the phone. It was actually late last night. She might've been drunk." Not the first time it happened. From there only 20% of people then actually showed up. "We'll see if she arrives or not."

"Makes sense. Thanks, Mantis."

She didn't answer. Loki was actually 90% sure that she was asleep right there standing behind the desk. "Mantis?" he repeated, waving his hands over her eyes, suddenly feeling bad for never being able to take the night shift. "You alive?"

With a jerk she seemed to come back to consciousness and make the tattoo artist flinch in the same second. "Oh. Yes. Sorry, I have not slept in 36 hours. Just go settle in until either a walk-in or Ayesha arrives."

Although he wanted to listen he stalled temporarily, wondering if there was anything he could do for her, before just nodding and moving toward the backroom.

Loki hung his coat up after he pushed open the door and immediately went for the day-old coffee pot, as neither him nor any other employee really cared what the drink tasted like as long as they got the fast juice. The fast was the important part. All the contents were emptied into a hopefully clean Snoopy mug that was pretty much known as his before he downed it all. Loki had been working there long enough to know how the mug situation works.

A collective 13 years how long he had been employed at Quill's Tattoos, with a five year gap in between when he had been a house husband to take care of his infant son.

skip to news

To Loki's surprise, Ayesha actually showed up.

"Okay, I vaguely remember making an appointment here last night through a haze of my idiotic drunkenness, and I've always kind of wanted one, so now I'm here," she explained to Mantis in a whisper as Loki leaned against the counter and watched, intrigued by her arrival and her hungover state.

Mantis, just as surprised and amused, nodded and explained the situation back to her and the same soft tone that she had used. It wasn't her first rodeo. "Yes ma'am, you did make an appointment last night in a seemingly extremely intoxicated state. You requested an 8 AM slot with the employee with the most gentle hands. So you'll be with Loki this morning." With a blush of embarrassment Ayesha looked over at Loki as he waved, fighting a snicker at what she had asked for. "I can replay the call to confirm if you'd like."

"No! No, I- I believe it."

"Alright." Mantis scribbled a few things out on a piece of paper before tearing it off and handing it over to Loki. "You'll go with him now. Depending on what you want and if you even know what you want, you'll either finish it today or have to make another appointment in the future."

Ayesha nodded in understanding, lightly fiddling with the strap of her purse as she followed Loki from the reception desk and into the main area of the shop, and then past a curtain of beads into a room with a few collected tables and chairs intended for discussions as well as an option for employees to take their lunch breaks. They quickly found one that they wished to sit down at. "So, do you have an idea of what you'd like? Because if you don't know or don't even have an exact idea, I have some of drawings of my own as well as other designs that I haven't gotten to but can also do myself," Loki began in the same gentle voice as to not hurt her, taking out the book he had under his arm and pushing it across the table to her.

"Okay good because I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing," she whispered and quickly cracked open the binder, flipping through the pages and carefully dragging her finger across the laminated pictures and drawings. "But I do know I want it on my bicep."

"Alright, I can start there. See anything you like?"

She flipped a few more pages in silence before she slowly nodded. "This one. I like the style." The drawing she had in mind was a deeply red rose, its overly long stem tied up in itself over and over again, along with jutting thorns that glinted with blood. "Although I'd prefer a different type of flower."

"Oh, that's easy. Just give me a bit to draw up a quick sketch and I'll see what I can do. But what type of flower?" As he anticipated her answer, Loki opened the book a little wider so he could snatch up one of the loose papers at the back to draw on and pulled a pencil from behind his ear.

"Hmm... how about a Narcissus flower? Oh, what's the other name- a daffodil! That one," she responded as she already began to tap at her bicep where she planned for it to go.

Loki immediately got to work. Meanwhile, Ayesha fell silent once more and pulled out her phone, the scribble of his pencil being the only sound that echoed through the empty area. Until about ten minutes had gone by and the client cried out.

"Oh my god!"

"What? I'm not finished but if it's way off from what you were imagining I can change it-"

"No, no," Ayesha interrupted, her eyes locked on the space above him. "I mean... look!"

Loki followed her finger to where she was pointed until he found himself staring at the small TV in the corner of the room, which was currently on mute, but no noise was needed for him to understand what was going on. The picture alone showed him a very familiar face holding a gun to his daughter's head from the perspective of someone who was clearly a hiding student. "I have to go."

"Wait, wh-"

"Talk to Mantis!" he threw over his shoulder as he burst through the beads and eventually out the door, not even bothering to grab his jacket on the way out, just jumping on his bike and taking off. He'd never get that jacket back. He'd probably never go back to his job ever again either. His past had finally reached him, and due to it, there was no way he wasn't going to lose his future along with it.

Loki practically kicked his front door down when he reached it. Thankfully empty, he stormed down the hall and immediately went to his bedroom and opened his and his husband's shared closet. After all clothes were shoved aside in order for him to have access to the blank back wall, Loki pressed his bare palm to the black paint and leaned in, only removing it when he felt the scanner confirm his identity and the hidden door began to open with a small sliding sound. It revealed a 12 by 12 titanium covered secret room covered in weapons, memoriams of his childhood, and most importantly, the world famous outfit that made everyone know his name. The Frost Giant. Flashbacks already started to tear through his mind just at the sight of it. But this wasn't about him. This was about his daughter, and absolutely nothing else. So he grabbed the mask wrapped around the mannequin's head and snapped it on his jaw, doing his best to ignore the shivers that went down his spine. All the bodies he'd dropped were coming back to him. From afar, close up; from world leaders to innocent civilians- all because of him. Just think about her. Just think about her.

Bound at both the wrists and the mouth, all Hela could do was swing her legs and wiggle around in her captor's grip, although clearly to no avail since she had been at it for over 15 minutes. Technically she did accomplish something, as she did manage to annoy her captor. But having a gun pointed at your head and being told to stop otherwise you'd die wasn't really a win. "All of you are recording this right?" he called out to the other students quivering inside their classrooms, phones urgently held up to the window, a chorus of silent nods responding to his question. They were too scared to speak. "And it's on the news?" More nods. "Good. He should be here soon then."

"He's already here."

A click of a gun along with the voice made the man do a 180 on his heel, whipping Hela along with him. She was annoyed before she was screaming at the sight of the new party. "Froosht?" she exclaimed, most likely meaning to say 'Frost'.

Loki's face grew worried at the mention, an expression that was thankfully being hidden by the mask. Frost was his assassin name, short for his full title of 'The Frost Giant', a title that his daughter knew of. She knew his past. She knew his past without even knowing it. "The Collector," he spoke to the man anyway, trying to avoid eye contact with her in fear of recognition. He also lost his accent as an attempt to shield his voice. "It's been a while."

"The Frost Giant. I could say the same. Last time I saw you, you were stealing my daughter."

With a dry chuckle Loki took a step forward. "Perhaps so. But I'm afraid I have to take another female away from you." His chin jerked over to Hela. "The girl. Release her. Or I'll paint the wall with your vital organs."

The Collector laughed as if Loki had just told the funniest joke in the world while his victim looked confused at the assassin with her big gray bambi eyes. The mixture of fear, confusion, and just a slight glimmer of hope inside them cracked Loki's heart. "Oh, no no no no no. You escaped by the skin of your teeth and left a trail of blood behind you last time, there's no way you're getting her any easier than that again," The Collector hissed as he tapped the barrel of his gun to Hela's head. She squirmed and looked pleadingly up at Loki- thankfully not recognizing the 'again' comment. She knew she was looking at an assassin... but she just wanted to get out.

"Why?" Hela was gagged at the mouth, muffling every word, but that one syllable was still clear as day.

Why me? Why you? Why are you doing this? That was what she was asking. But all she got out was 'why?'. The Collector said something before Loki was able to open a mouth that had no words to speak. "Yeah, Frosty, why don't you tell her why you're here? Why are you doing this? Come on, inform the girl," he evilly purred, forcing the girl closer to him with the weapon still pressed against her skull.

Loki of course said nothing about it. "If you don't listen to me I will splatter your brain all over the wall."

"What, like you did to James Barnes?"

"YOU SHUT UP ABOUT BUCKY!" Loki spat in a sudden burst of anger, one that made even The Collector step back in a bit of surprise. But then he grinned at the nerve he had struck. The assassin was not in the fucking mood. So he inhaled sharply, shoved down the trauma and the recollection of his dream, and tightened his grip on the weapon. "Put her down and I won't kill you, does that make fucking sense?"

"No. Wrong. You take off the mask, and I won't kill her." The room froze as every single person's, spare The Collector of course, eye's widened at his deal. He wanted Loki to reveal his identity to the world. After seeing the recording at his work, he already knew he had lost his life (although he was doing a great job at oppressing it), but lost his life in the way that he'd lose his family. But if he took off the mask, then he'd lose not only his family, but the ability to live in the world anymore. Taking off the mask meant death without the freedom of release. "You have 10 seconds." The Collector's smirk was just proof that he knew what he was doing. "And don't try anything tricky; I'll pull the trigger at even the tremble of a finger. So put the gun down, and face the music."

The gun was put down as asked.

"10."

He didn't have a choice, did he?

"9."

Letting his daughter die was worse than anything else that could happen to him.

"8."

For a second he thought about the possibility of disarming him and attempting to get the best out of both really really bad worlds.

"7."

But that was too risky.

"6."

The Collector wasn't lying, he would shoot at the tick of a pinkie, and he had an itchy trigger finger to do so with.

"5."

Lose the mask, or lose his daughter.

"4."

Now that was an easy decision.

"3."

'Easy'.

"2."

Loki would suffer the loss of his husband, and his children, as well as everything in the on-the-grid world that he had ever known-- but they would all live on.

"1."

"Alright!" Loki exclaimed and raised up his hands in defense, his gun having been tucked into the harness being partially shielded by his oversized cargo jacket. "I'm doing it, I'm doing it." After peeling off his right glove Loki's hand reached up to his face and his fingertips grazed the fabric. "But Hela?"

Hela's eyes widened once more. How do you know my name? was what she clearly wanted to say.

"I'll always love you."

Her extreme facial confusion continued until the mask was finally peeled off of his face and she let out a loud gasp. "Dad?!"

More and more gasps echoed into the hallway from the crowded groups of kids that had been eagerly pressed against the glass ever since Loki entered the building, each sound and expression striking the assassin harder and harder- but none more than his daughter's. Her face was filled with such a large amount of pain and betrayal, and all without her saying a word. "I'm so sorry," he whispered as he shoved his mask in his pocket and pulled out his gun once more. "But I did what you asked. We had a deal."

"Okay, okay, you're right. We had a deal. And I'm a man of my word." After the removal of her gag and his grip of her hands, Hela was let free.

But she didn't run. She slowly stepped forward to her father and scrunched her nose, tears clearly building up, and her fists clenching and unclenching at her side. Her mouth opened like she was going to say something. But then she closed it and stormed off behind The Collector.

Of course he was still grinning. "Why do you look so crushed? She's not even your daughter anyway."

Hela stopped walking. "What the hell does he mean?" she slowly questioned, unhurriedly turning back toward the two men.

"Get out of here, Hela, it's not safe."

"What the HELL does he mean!?" she repeated.

The Collector looked back at her and raised an eyebrow. "Go on, Frosty, don't be shy. Tell her how she was the daughter that you stole from me. Tell her how you took her right from her bed. Tell her what you were doing when you took her from her crib."

"Crib?! You had her in a bloody cardboard box!" Loki snapped.

Which was just what The Collector wanted. Proof from the man himself that Hela wasn't his, and was in fact stolen from him. "Tell her how you carried her, while you, bloody and beaten, hid scared to death in an alleyway, waiting there until your current husband found you. Tell her. Tell her who you were that led to all of this." His voice was as slick as a mother fucking snake. Once again, his plan was going perfectly. And that plan was to push Loki into the past.

Loki had been sipping a glass of Rosé wine-both of which he had stolen-in his dark underground hideout in Britain when he got the call. A job of his that he only barely managed to escape from had just ended 30 minutes prior, so as he lowered his glass to the ground next to the pile of blood spattered money he had gained from it, he only pulled out his burner phone with extreme reluctance. To be perfectly honest, he was too tired to take another job. But in the business that he was in, he didn't have a choice. Missing a call or denying a mission, or even just being too rude to one's hirer, could mean at the very least receiving no money for one's work, and at the very most... death. So he answered the call. "What is it?"

"It's The Watchman. I know you just had a job, but this is important."

Oh. Perhaps the day was looking up. "Well if it isn't my favorite boss. What do you have for me now?"

"There's this drug lord, in New York City, who calls himself 'The Collector', and he works in an abandoned warehouse near the water on West Houston Street. As you can predict, I want him dead. I don't care what method you use whether it's obvious there's foul play or you frame it as a suicide, he just needs to have no pulse. You're allowed to take any money or even cocaine (to sell, I know you're clean) from the scene. Only requirement is that there's no witnesses. As for pay from me, I'll leave 10K on the corner of 6th Avenue and West 8th. You know it?"

Although Loki spent most of his time in and around Europe, he had visited America a lot (mostly New York), so he did know what he was talking about. "Yeah, near Bleeker Street, I remember."

"Good. Get it done ASAP."

"On it."

An eight hour flight filled with a lot of vodka and opera music followed. (The former probably shouldn't have happened since he was the one driving the plane. He had already stolen it, he wasn't going to steal a pilot only to kill him as a witness later. Too risky.) But he still successfully made it to New York.

He touched down in Marine Park in the dead of night. Late enough that the city seemed unusually asleep. From there he walked a bit before he stole a motorcycle and continued his journey to the scene of where the crime was to take place. He then stopped about half a mile before he reached the warehouse in order to not make a loud entrance, then walking the rest of the way with a gun in hand and his mask already settled in place, a knife also at his belt in order to silently kill anyone in his path. Guns would warn his victim that he was coming. Sure, sometimes there were random gunshots around, it was America, but he still had to be careful.

By the time he reached the actual building he had slit about two guards throats. Less than usual. There must be more traps inside, Loki thought.

And dear god there were. The classic flour blown down an empty hallway as soon as he silently broke through the door revealed a shit ton of lasers that Loki considered way too overboard for just a popular cocaine dealer, making him consider that this guy was hiding something more than just crack, but as he slipped among the lasers as if it was nothing he brushed it off and just tried to focus on his mission. At least that one seemed to be the worst of the worst, as all other traps just forced him to knock out a few cameras, stab a few more guards, or dodge a few shots. Simple. Well at least until he passed the final door and heard the cry of a baby. It made him stop dead in his tracks.

There was a baby? On all of his missions Loki had never dealt with children since children were never really around the types of people he was sent to kill, either good or bad. Half of his brain wanted to paint it as his imagination and just continue and kill the dealer. But the other half was somehow stronger and forced him to go check it out.

As quietly as possible Loki knelt down on the cement and picked the door's lock, then slipped inside and closed it softly behind him.

It was almost entirely empty. About 12 by eight feet if he had to guess, with floor to ceiling cement that hadn't been cleaned in... ever, and the only object inside being a small cardboard box in the corner. That was where the baby was curled up.

She cried out again as he peered down at her, twisting in her box and whining, with nothing but a diaper and a blood spattered piece of cloth covering her body. Loki winced and gently placed a hand on her forehead. She felt unnaturally warm. Fuck, she has a fever, he swore. "Poor baby, is that bastard coke dealer your father?" he purred gently as his fingers cupped the sides of her body, lifting her up into the air and then cradling her against his body, trying to think of something to do. But nothing really came to mind.

So he just held her close until he heard the click of a gun behind his head.

Loki stayed silent as everything came back up from the pile of dirt which he had buried the memories under. He only escaped by the very skin of his teeth that night, so imagining all of that again with the now heartbroken grown up baby demanding an explanation, he didn't know what to say. He couldn't say anything. But it broke him even more when Hela scoffed, tears slipping down her cheeks, and said 'fuck you, 'Dad'' before storming of once more. The quotations stung. Everything stung. And he didn't even have a physical scar on him yet. "I was an abused child, forced into an organization that I had no business being in with no way to escape except timeless torture, and after I finally escaped it and got to grow my own life, this is what I get. There is no way in hell you're getting out of this alive," Loki hissed, cocking the gun once more and slowly dragging the trigger back with the barrel pointed right between his eyes.

The sliding of tile against metal was occuring as his opponent slowly shook his head, but Loki didn't want to take his eyes off of him just in case. It's not like they'd pose more of a danger that The Collector did. "Oh, Loki. Once again; you're wrong." The click of a gun informed Loki that there was in fact someone behind him. Fun. "I'm going to leave. And my henchmen are going to kill you." More and more footsteps echoed down the hallway as if they were coming. The Collector really had perfect timing, didn't he? "Sound fair?"

Cool steel pressed against the back of Loki's thick tied up hair. And for some reason, that was what made everything flood out of Loki's body. It reminded him of the night he had rescued his daughter. Sadness, anxiety, all of it drained out- and he just saw red. "Completely fair."

Although a little put off by his response, The Collector nodded at him before then turning on his heel, soon disappearing down the hallway. Loki waited a few seconds in silence to make sure before he spoke. "Kids. Close your eyes." His tone, which was calmer than the gentle breeze on a soft summer's day, was scarier than any other tone The Collector had put forward.

His gun dropped to the ground with a clatter and Loki ducked down and kicked back his legs, simultaneously dodging the bullet the henchmen shot out and knocking him down, before he rolled forward and stood up. Then without missing a beat Loki

hahaha fight scene who?

Stephen arrived at the building just as the cops grabbed Loki from where he stood at the front doors of the school, covered in spattered blood and an apathetic expression, soon to be shoved down against the hood of a police car and aggressively handcuffed. "Hey, HEY, get off of him!" Stephen exclaimed as he opened his door and ran over to try to help his husband. But, as expected, he was stopped by police before he could get close enough.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to stay back," the one of the two officers grabbing his arms roughly instructed. "This is a closed crime scene."

"And that's my husband!" Stephen snapped back with a twist that forced both of them to let go, although he was predictably grabbed yet again.

The officers didn't care. "And your husband is an international killer." Stephen snarled. "So stay back or we'll be forced to detain you too."

Knowing him, Stephen would have very well fought back and have been arrested himself. But then he heard a familiar voice shout his name. "Hela!" Stephen broke out of their grip once more and bolted over to his daughter, hugging him tightly against his chest once he was close enough to embrace her. She was sobbing into his shirt. "It's okay darling, we're okay. I promise."

"D-dad, I'm not his. He's not my dad, he st-he stole me! From that fu-*hic*-from that fucking psycho that held me hostage! I'm his daughter," she hissed out in opposition, only pushing away to prove him wrong. "Nothing is okay!"

The words were entirely new information to Stephen. But this wasn't about him, he had to figure it out and comfort his daughter. "Hela, I know you not being Loki's biological daughter after thinking you were for so long can be shocking, especially since you now know that your genes actually belong to such a terrible man, but biology. Means. Nothing. You're my daughter, aren't you?"

Hela slightly twisted, more tears streaming down her cheeks as she nodded.

"And we're not biologically related. Gene's don't mean shit- what matters is that I love you. And Loki loves you, I promise that. I don't care what this new information is, and I don't even entirely understand it, but he loves you. He proved it concretely today by risking everything just to save you. So please, Hela, don't think otherwise no matter what. Okay?"

She was crying even harder, so Stephen pulled her back in and gently rubbed her back as best as possible as she slowly began to soak his shirt.

fuck you I'm bad at this

It was past midnight. After seeing the police tape of Loki escaping, picking Thor up from school, and shoving their way through the crowd of reporters in front of their house, the Strange family had been sitting in Hela's locked bedroom with no sound spare the TV playing Spongebob, which no one was paying attention to except for Thor. Stephen and Hela just sat there for hours and thought with only the occasional drift off to a device that they couldn't focus on. "I think most of the press is gone."

"Finally," Hela huffed, tilting her head back until the crown of it was pressed up against the wall. "I hope they don't come back." Both knew very well that they would be.

Thor had fallen asleep around eight from exhaustion. The other two had tried to follow suit, or at least get in a little cat nap, but to no avail. A mind choked with its own thoughts is not a mind that can relax. "Is this what our life is going to be now?" Once again was the silence broken. "Hiding away from the world, from the second hand guilt and shame of all those lives that Dad took almost two decades ago? This isn't our fault, why do we have to do this?"

"Because I married him, Hela." His answer made her look up ."When I married him, I accepted everything about him, even the things that I was unaware of, so I'm going to stick with him." With a sigh, Stephen pushed up from his position and went to sit next to his daughter across the room. "I never told you this before, since there was really no reason to, but there were a lot of red flags before we got together. Remember how I told you that we first met when I found him injured in an alleyway with you and then brought both of you to the hospital?" She nodded, so he continued. "Well, the story's a bit watered down. Yes, I did technically find him injured in an alleyway with you, but he had been stabbed at least 13 times, and shot once, and was practically bleeding all over the place when I reached him. That was the first red flag. The second one was when he was being examined at the hospital while being patched up. There they found traces of cocaine on his fingers, random wads of a lot of cash stuffed into his pockets, and, weirdest of all, that neither his fingerprint or dental records were in the system. And then the third one I just recognized from our talks in the hospital. We had good chemistry so we had a good conversation, but things still seemed... off. Like he hadn't had any genuine human interaction in a few years. And with all that in mind, when we met up again a year later, I still asked him out. I accepted and dealt with his faults before we even started dating, so I'm certainly not about to stop now. He's my husband and I love him. And he's your dad. That doesn't mean I expect you to be suddenly okay with all the deaths and all this new infamousness, but he is your dad, and he's never treated us wrong."

By the time he stopped Hela had tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. "He has never treated us wrong. It just makes it so much more unbelievable that he's committed such... atrocities." Hela turned her whole body to her father as she tucked her hair behind both ears as she normally did when she thought. "Besides those red flags, have there been any more that directly pointed to 'assassin' that you now realize you ignored? Or no?"

Stephen turned toward her as well. "A few, maybe. Nothing that now makes me think 'holy shit I should have known he was an assassin', but things that make me think 'maybe I should have paid a little more attention'. (Not that I would have done anything about it if I somehow figured it out.) The nightmares that he refused to talk about, being handed over to some 'group' as a baby, the brand on the back of his neck, all the tattoos all over his body connected to people that he shied away from-"

An unfamiliar creaking noise stopped the father in his tracks. Even though his daughter somehow didn't hear it. "What? Shied away from what? Do you mean those tattoos are connected to people?"

As politely as possible Stephen told his daughter to stop talking so he could listen to the noises. Maybe he was just on edge and it was just the house settling, but he wanted to make sure. He had a family to protect.

It came again. It was downstairs. It seemed like the sound of a door opening. "Alright, I have to check that out."

"What?? Have you not seen any horror movie ever? Don't investigate, you will die! Plus, you're queer and disabled, according to Hollywood, you'll die first."

"Well I guess it's a good thing we're not in Hollywood then," Stephen whispered as he stood up, softly twisting the doorknob and cracking open the door.

"But you still shouldn't go, it could be like someone looking to get revenge on Da- Dad! Dad!" Hela whisper-shouted from inside the room, swearing lightly as she watched him disappear down the hallway with a softball bat he took from her in hand, before then turning back around to glance at her sleeping brother. Should she stay and protect him or follow her stupid-ass dad? Decisions, decisions...

Stephen had no idea why he had taken the bat. If he hit someone with it he'd no doubt end up hurting himself more than the home invader, therefore making its purpose inadequate, but he had still done it. Maybe because it was just a reflex. Threatened? Grab a weapon for protection. But he wouldn't really be able to protect himself with it.

Skipping all the creaky stairs that he had memorized over the years, Stephen crept down the stairs toward where he had heard the noise come from, his hands trembling a bit more than usual as he did. Like they always did when he was nervous. Past the kitchen and down the hallway, he crept along the wall until he finally discovered what was making the noise.

"This is the correct house, right?" the unknown man questioned the unknown woman next to him, raising up what seemed to be some sort of scanner and slowly dragging it in front of the walls. "We're going to be in big trouble if we've broken into some poor unsuspecting person's home. We can't afford a 911 call right now, we're already in enough danger just by coming here."

"Yes, yes, I'm sure, Bruce" the woman responded with a fake annoyed tone that made the man snort lightly. "You hacked the system, I tracked the house, we know what we're doing."

"Yeah, but remember Mongolia?"

The woman winced as the man laughed once more. "I'd rather forget Mongolia. Let's just focus on finding out where Loki is, that's our first priority."

"You're right, Valkyrie, you're right."

Having seen enough to take a good guess at who exactly was intruding, Stephen lowered his bat and carefully crept back upstairs to where his children hid. Thankfully Hela was still there and hadn't followed him out as he feared.

"Good, you're not dead! Now who's out there?" she whispered once the door was carefully closed behind him.

"It's a man and a woman named Bruce and Valkyrie, late thirties to early forties, and with a lot of weapons. But they're not robbers, they're not taking anything, they're looking for Loki. And something about their nonchalant tone tells me that it's thankfully not in a negative way. But there's still two unknown armed assassins in our house," Stephen quickly detailed, the bat handed off to her as he kneeled down. "And, to be perfectly honest, as your father, I have no idea what to do."

"Well neither of us have really dealt with assassins before. Well... knowingly," Hela pointed out.

"True, but we should still do something."

Hela planned to answer with something; maybe a solution of some sort of escape plan, but she closed her mouth when she heard the third step of the stairs creak like it always did. "They're on their way up."

The Strange pair froze out of fear of the unknown, any sliver of a plan completely vanishing from their minds at the sound of their approach, making them no better than sitting ducks.

#im sorry im making you read this again

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silver-wield · 5 years ago

Note

It bothers me probably more than it should when I see C/leriths post their resolution as a "love confession" or misinterpreting other vaguely CA scenes then present those as facts. I know they're off-base and are probably just making the most of what little was given to them, but it just irks me because.. those are lies. I don't want them to stop enjoying their ship but I really hope they can do it without lying. 😞😞 Hope I come to a point when I am unbothered by this.

They lie. That’s their whole deal and has been since the game came out. It’s called gaslighting and is the exact same shit that happens to Cloud and Tifa in the game. They’re forced to hear lies until they doubt the truth. That’s why it bothers you because you know it’s a lie, but they repeat it so much that you start doubting your own sanity.

That’s why I don’t like them.

For anyone who isn’t sure what gaslighting is, since I know it’s one of those things people think they know, but don’t always know exactly. I’m cping from a psychology page btw, so this is actual factual info and adding fandom appropriate examples as needed.

1. They tell blatant lies.

You know it's an outright lie. Yet they are telling you this lie with a straight face. Why are they so blatant? Because they're setting up a precedent. Once they tell you a huge lie, you're not sure if anything they say is true. Keeping you unsteady and off-kilter is the goal.

In the fandom’s case this is obvious and shouldn’t need examples.

2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof.

You know they said they would do something; you know you heard it. But they out and out deny it. It makes you start questioning your reality—maybe they never said that thing. And the more they do this, the more you question your reality and start accepting theirs.

Example: Tifa trending on Spain’s twitter because of insults thrown at Tifa, that was then argued by certain people it was about a wrestler wearing Tifa cosplay.

3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.

They know how important your kids are to you, and they know how important your identity is to you. So those may be one of the first things they attack. If you have kids, they tell you that you should not have had those children. They will tell you'd be a worthy person if only you didn't have a long list of negative traits. They attack the foundation of your being.

Another obvious one.

4. They wear you down over time.

This is one of the insidious things about gaslighting—it is done gradually, over time. A lie here, a lie there, a snide comment every so often...and then it starts ramping up. Even the brightest, most self-aware people can be sucked into gaslighting—it is that effective. It's the "frog in the frying pan" analogy: The heat is turned up slowly, so the frog never realizes what's happening to it.

23 years, people!

5. Their actions do not match their words.

When dealing with a person or entity that gaslights, look at what they are doing rather than what they are saying. What they are saying means nothing; it is just talk. What they are doing is the issue.

They claim they’re innocent and not doing anything and it’s us attacking them. All the while they’re making youtube vids with baiting titles and essays and websites full of “this is why Tifa isn’t...” to try and upset her fans.

6. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you.

This person or entity that is cutting you down, telling you that you don't have value, is now praising you for something you did. This adds an additional sense of uneasiness. You think, "Well maybe they aren't so bad." Yes, they are. This is a calculated attempt to keep you off-kilter—and again, to question your reality. Also look at what you were praised for; it is probably something that served the gaslighter.

I like Tifa blah blah blah and I’ve got no problem with her fans, but I can’t see why they think blah blah blah....

7. They know confusion weakens people.

Gaslighters know that people like having a sense of stability and normalcy. Their goal is to uproot this and make you constantly question everything. And humans' natural tendency is to look to the person or entity that will help you feel more stable—and that happens to be the gaslighter.

They gather their forces, flood a single person’s comments and make themselves seem like the reasonable ones.

8. They project.

They are a drug user or a cheater, yet they are constantly accusing you of that. This is done so often that you start trying to defend yourself, and are distracted from the gaslighter's own behavior.

They imply Tifa’s fans are like her and use negative descriptions about her. You spend so long defending yourself and Tifa that you don’t have time to call out their blatant homophobia, racism, sexism and so on.

9. They try to align people against you.

Gaslighters are masters at manipulating and finding the people they know will stand by them no matter what—and they use these people against you. They will make comments such as, "This person knows that you're not right," or "This person knows you're useless too." Keep in mind it does not mean that these people actually said these things. A gaslighter is a constant liar. When the gaslighter uses this tactic it makes you feel like you don't know who to trust or turn to—and that leads you right back to the gaslighter. And that's exactly what they want: Isolation gives them more control.

Gathering forces again. They’ll try and turn people against you using their “reasonable” arguments made of lies and manipulation until the person believes them, at which point they become evidence of the true path.

10. They tell you or others that you are crazy.

This is one of the most effective tools of the gaslighter, because it's dismissive. The gaslighter knows if they question your sanity, people will not believe you when you tell them the gaslighter is abusive or out-of-control. It's a master technique.

I believe the exact term they use is rabid.

11. They tell you everyone else is a liar.

By telling you that everyone else (your family, the media) is a liar, it again makes you question your reality. You've never known someone with the audacity to do this, so they must be telling the truth, right? No. It's a manipulation technique. It makes people turn to the gaslighter for the "correct" information—which isn't correct information at all.

All official sources are incorrect translations. The OST lyrics are incorrect translations. The devs interviews are incorrect translations. The script is incorrect translations. All of these official sources are lying.

#ship war #for the fandom #tw: gaslighting

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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago

Text

My Kind

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warning: Swearing

Genre: Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having been chosen by the gang to be a guest streamer on today’s stream of Among Us, it’s safe to say Y/N’s super excited but also a bit nervous. The whole of her anxiety gets lifted off her when she meets someone with the exact same vibe as hers - yeah you guessed it.

Requested by @monizzle96 Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so terribly sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is! I hope you come across it and read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

This has to be the fiftieth time I’ve checked my setup in the past twenty four hours. But no, I’m definitely not nervous, what are you talking about. Pshhh. Nah, being nervous isn’t in my brand. Plus, what do I have to make me nervous - a group of famous streamers inviting me onto their stream to play Among Us with them because they enjoyed my own streams? Ok yeah, that’s a pretty good reason. Not gonna lie, I almost chucked my phone out of excitement when I received that DM from Toast, telling me they’d picked me to be their guest streamer for today’s date. My stomach was doing somersaults for a good forty-eight hours following that text and then the anxiety slowly started setting in fueled by the expectations they probably have of me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not inexperienced in the streaming field, I’ve been a streamer longer than some of the members of Toast’s streamer gang actually. But I never managed to garner that big of a following which I’m honestly quite ok with. I have a modest - ok, maybe larger than modest - following consisting of incredibly loyal fans which I will never stop being grateful for. They are all so respectable of me, my privacy and my boundaries. They know the main rules: no shit-talking in the chat or in any of my comment sections, no bashing other YouTubers in my comments/chat, and most definitely not asking for a face reveal. Fun fact: I didn’t even set up that last rule, they all just collectively know not to ask for it.

I’ve been keeping my brand pretty low-key to avoid garnering some unwanted attention - some of which I’ve already experienced on certain social media platforms following the full body pictures I posted on there - face not visible of course. I tend to also have my webcam on, facing towards my hands working away on the keyboard sometimes when I stream. I don’t know why people obsess over faceless content creators’ hands, but I appreciate the enthusiasm - it also drives me to do a manicure every now and then which ain’t so bad, self-care and all that you know.

Now, back to the subject of my ridiculous nervousness.

You see, it has layers.

I’m nervous of ‘preforming’ underwhelmingly and I’m nervous of what my own fans will think of the person I will become during this stream. They know me as a super chill and laid-back person, which I am by the way, but they might think I’m putting on a show if I exhibit any nervous gestures/vocabulary. I highly doubt they would, but the possibility is not letting my mind rest. And now that it’s about ten minutes till the stream starts, I’m getting doing my best to calm my nerves.

They are all just people. You know they are super chill too. Just be yourself, that’s why they invited you, because you are yourself on all your streams. They liked you for your personality, humor, maybe even your gaming skills. So chill the hell out and be yourself, damn it!

Easier thought than put into action that’s for sure.

I start my stream five minutes early just so I can vibe with my viewers for a little while before I have to meet the gang. My fans always have a way of injecting me with confidence, they remind me of where I was when I started and how far I’ve come. How much I achieved when I thought I’d be nothing and no one, someone the algorithm would simply overlook. But then they entered my life and I entered theirs and it all became much better than I ever thought it would get to be. I rarely tell myself ‘good job’ for the milestones I’ve reached or the hard work I’ve put into my content, but that’s probably cause I orient myself based on that quote from the movie Whiplash: ‘There are no two words in the English language more harmful than good job’ - simply put, I’m never satisfied with what I do and I always strive to do better. My fans, however, make sure I don’t go overboard with it - always serving as a reminder that I’ve done plenty for myself and others. And that’s what makes an amazing fandom, one I consider family.

Whoa, when did those five minutes fly by?!

Ah shit, here we go. Deep breaths, Y/N you got this.

“Hello!“ I say as I enter the Discord call, subconsciously biting my lower lip, grateful the camera isn’t capturing it. However, I make a mental note to keep my hands steady cause that’s the one part of me people can actually see and the last thing I want is for them to see how much my fingers are trembling.

“Oh hi, Y/N!“ Toast is the first one to greet me, “Welcome to the stream! Thank you so much for accepting our invitation.“

“Thank you for having me and inviting me, Toast. This is a huge deal for me. You guys are basically YouTube legends, this is unreal to me.“ I reply, cringing immediately afterwards because of my fangirl rambling. Great way to make first impressions, Y/N. Bravo.

To be fair, they already have an impression of you. Quit stressing.

Aright, you’ve got a point, me.

“Oh please, we owe all that to our fans. We’re really nothing special. All streamers are almost completely alike, we all owe where we are to the people who helped us make it there - our fans. We’re no legends.“ Toast says, bringing a small smile to my face as well as a light pink blush to my cheeks, “And from what I’ve seen, you yourself have quite the following. And your fans seem to adore you.“

“And I absolutely adore them.“ I chuckle, “They mean the world to me. They are the reason I’m here today.”

“Then we have to give them a special thank you, don’t you think?“ The teasing, familiar giggle, widens my smile - it’s Rae, “Nice to meet you, Y/N! I’m Rae, and, no cap, I’m quite a fan of your content. No joke, I binged your entire series of Resident Evil 7 as soon as I found your channel when Toast said he’d invite you.“

This rattles me a bit. I can hardly believe it - am I really receiving a compliment from an A-list name in the streaming world? My fans must be hella proud of me right now. A quick glance at my chat confirms that they indeed are. That in and of itself fills me with joy and newfound confidence.

“Oh Gosh, thank you so much Rae! That means the world to me. You’re all so sweet.“ I reply, lifting my ice cold hands to cool down my burning cheeks, my lips spread into a grin, my stomach filled with butterflies.

“Oh please, we have some real savages around here.“ A male voice, seemingly Charlie’s scoffs, “Don’t overlook us please.“

“Wait, we do?“ A deep voice, one I immediately know the owner of speaks up, “Who? How come I don’t know about that?“

I can’t help bust snort, “Nice to meet you, Corpse. Sarcasm central, I see.”

He laughs, “Just returning it to where it’s due. Nice to meet you too, Y/N. Sick Outlast series, by the way.“

Ok, wait, I have two A-list streamers complimenting my content. Ok, I’m bound to crack open a few beers to celebrate later cause OH MY GOD.

“Thanks! I’m a horror junkie so I’d be lying if I said I haven’t binge watched all your story-times. Personal favorites are the deep web ones, they fascinate me.“

“Oh, you’re one of my kind even more than I expected, huh?“ He replies, the tone of his voice changing, raising a bit due to what I can only describe as excitement and enthusiasm. “I’ve had people tell me it’s twisted, but I really like seeing the lengths to which the fucked up human mind can go to. Like, the shit I’ve read is insane! Some stories I didn’t narrate cause I would’ve probably had my video taken down, it was that messed up.“

My eyes widen, sharing the same excitement at the thought of digging deeper into this phenomenon, “Careful, Corpse, you’re walking a dangerous line of tempting me to deep-dive on Reddit in search of those exact stories.”

“No need.“ Corpse says, his tone now taking up a bit of a cocky note, “I still got them all saved, I can send them to you no problem.“

“Please do! I seriously gotta read them now. If I can’t sleep afterwards, I’m blaming you, Corpse. Just FYI.“ I say, giggling slightly, finding myself all but completely comfortable now. I wonder where all that anxiety went?

“Blame fully taken. Given that I’m not much of a sleeper, I’ll keep you company whenever you think there’s a killer hiding in your closet or fear a red room pop-up will appear on your computer screen.“ He replies, chuckling.

“Um, that’s oddly specific.“ Charlie comments, “Been there yourself, buddy?”

“Perhaps.“ Corpse wheezes, getting a laugh out of me too, “I will neither confirm nor deny.“

“You know what, I’ll just private message you my number so if you see it call you at some ungodly hour, you don’t freak the fuck out. Sounds good?“ I ask, already prepping to type it out and send it to him.

“Perfect. Wait...“ he pauses for a second, sounding puzzled for a second, “You don’t have mine.“

“Oh, do I not?“ I reply with a sinister tone - thought to answer the question, I of course don’t have his number.

“Oh, do you?“ He sasses me right back. “If so then you don’t need me to send it to you. Cool.“

Ah, shit

“Wait, no! I-I need to confirm it’s the correct one!“

Damn, never did I think I’d be complimented by some of the most important streamers on this platform, but to get a number of theirs too? That’s a whole another level that will take me time to process. But I’ll do that another time, right now, I have to kick these people’s butts in Among Us and later I have some deep web stories to read.

Turns out, all it takes to get comfortable in a new surrounding is someone of your kind. And Corpse is definitely one of my kind.

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