#i was lucky enough to get to flip thru this one in person on the land

[radwave]

photos by J.E.B. • from Women: A Journal of Liberation, vol. 5 no. 2 (January 1974)

[astrow1zar6]

Venus in the houses Observations 1-7

Venus in the 1st house: I feel like this placement is very lucky & unlucky at the same time. It bestows you with beauty, and financial security and a charming personality but I feel like these people have a hard time appreciating it. They can be very harsh critics on themselves especially when it comes to their looks. These are the girls you always see looking at their reflection thru everything to make sure nothings messed up but in your head you think “this girls perfect how can she be so anxious about her looks”. Looks are very big to them which is why many people consider them superficial. They tend to like to surround themselves with attractive people or people with a lot of clout, they despise ugly. I also notice they can be very envious of others who attract more attention then them they love attractive people but can also be threatened by other attractive people its odd.

Venus in 2nd house: I’ve seen a lot that have amazing artistic ability’s. They usually make the most money when they are being creative or making something beautiful such as ceramics, jewelry, drawings, sculptures ect. They have very charming business personalities when can make them earn a lot faster than most. They tend to have very smooth voices as well. They can convince you to do anything just by using their voice. (Which is why this is considered a sugar baby placement, it’s hard for people to say no to them). This placement is in its home in the 2nd house so these people generally have it pretty easy. They may find love a little later in life tho however when they are financially stable but they are usually patient enough to wait for the right one. On the flip side if afflicted they tend to spend their money as quickly as they got it usually on stupid shit like Grubhub (they are big foodies) or shopping. They can also be very greedy with their money and possessions and become jealous of others who have more money/ are more attractive than themselves. But overall these people give Princess vibes.

Venus in 3rd house: people with this placement remind me of fairies. They are so chatty and fun loving they can make any conversation interesting easily. They have this lightness about them that puts people at ease. In relationships they tend to have partners that are like their best friend ( maybe a little too much like best friends). Sometimes I’ve seen their relationships lack seriousness and depth which can cause their partner to feel like they are just dating a buddy. But on a good note they are usually able to share everything with their partners and their relationships are usually very fun. When afflicted they can be prone to gossiping and being overly chatty which can become obnoxious. They can also be overly flirtatious while single and in a relationship. ESPECIALLY drunk these people will flirt with everyone breathing when they are intoxicated lol.

Venus in 4th house: I’ve noticed try to find partners that give them a feeling of home. I haven’t met a lot of people with this placement but what I’ve noticed in the ones I have met was that they give this big mommy energy. They crave to take care of someone and also for someone to take care of them. However these people can get really clingy and dependent when they are comfortable. It usually takes them a long time however to trust someone enough to be with them. But once they feel safe enough they are extremely loyal. They love the idea of starting a family and long for children. They usually make great mothers. Their mother could’ve been the ultimate caregiver growing up & grew up with many precious family traditions (unless afflicted) the traits of the mother rubbed off a lot on the native. I also notice they tend to look more like their mothers than fathers.

Venus in the 5th house: when I hear this placement I think of Cupid and Valentine’s Day lol no really tho these people love the art of love and seduction. They live for it. These people can get a little too carried away in love however which can cause them to have multiple crushes and talk to multiple people at once. This isn’t considered the most loyal placement (unless something in their chart says other wise). These people have amazing rizz which I’ve stated in other posts but it’s true a lot of people get jealous by how easy it is for them to woo people. I notice they can be love addicts and can’t be without someone to boost their ego. These people can also have very pretty children or they can have a lot of girls. (If one of your parents has this placement your probably blessed in the looks department) people with this placement are usually very physically attractive themselves.

Venus in 6th house: I’ve only met one person with this placement so my description may not be as detailed as the others but I’ve seen it gives a very workaholic vibe to the person. Most of their social interactions and romantic interactions usually happen in the workplace. These people can be extremely timid in social matters however which can make others kinda look over them☹️ they aren’t the most romantic but they are very sensual and the types where if they love you they will spend every day with you. They can also be extremely helpful to their partners (they are big on acts of service) and can usually remain loyal to the same person for a long time. Theirs a certain modesty and naturalness about them that’s very mesmerizing. In the early years they could’ve struggled a lot romantically. Could’ve had a lot of one sided loves. This also can make the native not notice their beauty they could dress down or overly modest because they aren’t comfortable with being seen as “sexy” or “attractive”. This placement is generally a rough spot for Venus to be in but it worked thru it can be fulfilling it just takes a lot of self love training.

Venus in the 7th house: LOVE romantic attention. Even for people they aren’t into like that (similar to Venus in 5th) they get a big ego boost when they find out others have a crush on them. These are the types to believe everyone is in love with them.. and lowkey… they’re right lol. Venus is at home in the 7th house as well so it usually makes them very attractive to the opposite sex naturally. A lot of men really want to commit to these women even if they aren’t seen as conventionally attractive they usually have a “wifey” type of vibe that makes men weak. It’s incredible really how magnetic these people are. They can have good luck in marriage and usually attract very wealthy attractive spouses. If afflicted however they will go through a lot of unstable relationships until they learn how to love themselves properly. This can also cause someone to be very codependent on others. They have a hard time living alone and can act really dysfunctional when they don’t have love in their lives. They need to learn to be more independent and self assured. ( if they have their Venus in Aries or Aquarius they can be more independent).

[johnslittlespoon]

I just wanted to say that I witnessed all the dog coded bucky brain rot and its sooo nice to see it come to life 🥲 although i miss the brainrot so muchhhh I appreciate that you're so devoted to the fic bc itsss sooo good (and the affect you had on this fandom is insane bc like I've seen at least 5 fics on A03 referencing the dog coded bucky and from my knowledge you were the creator of that. pioneer shit!!!)

kissesss love youu xxxxxxx

the way this ask came in while i was sitting outside the other day and i teared up so fast i had to flip my sunglasses down off my head over my eyes so i wouldn't get caught lacking SHDGCJK 😭💗

you're so so kind, thank u so very much <3 i feel crazy lucky that y'all were willing to wait and stay interested thru my slow writing process in the like two months i brainrotted ab the dog coded stuff before i finally posted chapter one of the fic– ik attention spans (mine included LOL) jump around lots when it comes to tropes/aus, esp with how much content is created every day and how fast some people are able to write (legends honestly, i am in awe), and it's such a relief to not feel pressured or rushed as i try and get things on the page in a way i picture them and feel happy with and feel comes straight from the heart :')

but i think bucky (or callum's portrayal of bucky lmao) was the dog coded pioneer, like c'mon. look at him. or maybe it was curt, with the "alright, meatball" line in part two, bc that's personally what put the final nail in the coffin for me with dog coded bucky lol <3 but i've said before that if my tumblr legacy (i say, only having made a tumblr like five months ago for the first time in my life) is being the dog coded bucky guy, i'm honoured and feel like i've peaked ig! feel like i've been waiting years to have an excuse to delve into my love for dog/animal motifs in writing so i'm having the time of my LIFE <3

(also aside from one fic i had no idea there were more dog coded bucky fics floating around and i'm tHRILLED, it's what he deserves, i'm so excited to finally get to catch up on my increasingly lengthy to–read list once i'm done writing my fic!! <3 need to return all the love and comments tenfold, i just don't have a brain that lets me simultaneously be in reader and writer mode so i'm v behind on fics, like '10 pages of marked for later on ao3 and a google doc where i've been pasting links to friends fics to catch up on' behind lmaoo)

mwah so much love this was so sweet, made my whole week, sry for being sappy ik i get mushy enough as is in my author's notes but i swear the further along i get in this fic the more sentimental i feel, so thankful this media came into my life when it did, grateful for the friends i've made thru it, etc <33

p.s. i'm not a dog person! i love cats more than anything in the world! what hapepn

[sixpossumsinatrenchcoat]

Auditions

Hajime wants to get closer to Komaeda. The rest of the polycule isn’t convinced. (4k words of komahina chaos, heavily feat. best girls Chiaki & Sonia. Spoilers thru the 3rd trial.)

“Ohh!” Komaeda gasps, his eyes positively glowing. “Hajime! How fortunate I feel, to be privileged with such a hopeful sight! And how lucky to have found you here!” “...In my room?” “Yes! Exactly! Your company is in very high demand, Hajime! Always out and about! But when I passed by your cottage I saw a butterfly land on your door; and as luck would have it, I found a cockroach in my coffee this morning!” Hajime squints at him. As usual, he’s having a hard time keeping up.  “Please don’t worry, Hajime,” Komaeda says earnestly. “It would be a travesty to waste your feelings on a worthless animal like me. After all, I'm a sort of human cockroach myself! Haha! I felt a sense of kinship, watching his little legs twitch amongst the grounds.”

(This wildly frivolous story is dedicated to my gf & I playing the Danganronpa series for the first time and learning, with mounting incredulity, that maxing a social link rewards you with the other person’s UNDERWEAR??? And that we are presumably sleeping with all of these people????? After that, the plot kinda went out the window in favor of auditioning new members for the polycule.)

Before coming to Jabberwock Island, Hajime almost never napped. There were barely enough hours in the day to finish his homework and study for entrance exams and read enough of next week’s material to avoid looking like an idiot in class. He just couldn’t find the time. 

…Now he’s got nothing but. 

And it’s not like there are any exams to prep for out here, in the middle of the fucking ocean. For the first few weeks, he tried to keep up with his studies in the library. Then he flipped open a chem textbook to brush up on the basics and realized that the entire organic chemistry section was total bullshit. Which kinda threw a wrench in his curriculum. Not studying feels bad, but not as bad as learning stuff that’s wrong.

It still makes him anxious. You’d think the constant threat of sudden death would put it in perspective but… nope! Turns out that Maslow guy was full of shit. You can be scared of getting murdered and scared of flunking your college entrance exams, all at the same time. Or at least, Hajime can.

So even though it’s 2 in the afternoon, with sunlight streaming in through the huge, unsettlingly breakable window above his bed, Hajime is fast asleep when he hears the knock. 

It’s a weird knock. The human brain loves patterns, so most people wind up knocking on some kind of rhythm. A nice even knock-knock, or a brisk rat-tat-tat. ‘Shave-and-a-haircut,’ etcetera etcetera. This sounds more like a woodpecker playing a round of whack-a-mole. One loud knock and then two quick ones, then a weird protracted silence followed by four more. 

“Mh,” Hajime mumbles. “Uh. One sec.”

He doesn’t bother with a shirt. It’s hot. And he’s tired. And it’s not like there’s anyone left who’d care. Koizumi would've hit him if he tried to open the door half-dressed, but Koizumi is dead. Hanamura might’ve made a pass at him in the grossest way he could think of, but Hanamura’s been fish food for weeks. Probably Tsumuki would full-on scream, but there is no Tsumuki anymore. Half his friends are dead and Hajime can’t find a shirt. Literally who fucking cares. 

He yanks the door open to find Komaeda, one hand outstretched for another chaotic, arhythmic, totally bizarre fucking knock.

“Ohh!” Komaeda gasps, his eyes positively glowing. “Hajime! How fortunate I feel, to be privileged with such a hopeful sight! And how lucky to have found you here!”

“...In my room?”

“Yes! Exactly! Your company is in very high demand, Hajime! Always out and about! But when I passed by your cottage I saw a butterfly land on your door; and as luck would have it, I found a cockroach in my coffee this morning!”

Hajime squints at him. As usual, he’s having a hard time keeping up.

“Please don’t worry about me,” Komaeda says earnestly. “It would be a travesty to waste your feelings on a worthless animal like me. After all, I'm a sort of human cockroach myself! Haha! I felt a sense of kinship, watching his little legs twitch amongst the grounds.”

“Uh.”

“I didn’t eat the cockroach,” Komaeda assures him. “I spotted him before my last sip.”

“...You drank the coffee, though.”

“Oh, yes! Thank goodness! If I saw him any sooner, I might not have caught you at all!”

Right. The whole… karmic balance thing. Hope from despair, and vice versa. “Uh huh. So. Did you want something, or…”

“No, no, please, I would never! I wouldn't dream of imposing on your valuable time! It was only—hm, how to explain it to someone so, so resplendent… Only a whim, Hajime. The senseless, selfish impulse of a simple mind.”

Hajime is pretty sure he’s never met a less simple mind.

He wonders if Komaeda wants to come in. He sort of wants to invite him in. Which is pretty stupid, after all the mean shit Komaeda said in the hospital. (Hajime mentally crosses 'Ultimate Common Sense' off the list of possibilities. Might as well scratch out 'Ultimate Social Skills' while he's at it.)

Well. Whatever. Even if Hajime wanted to be hospitable, now is definitely not the best time. “Oh,” he remembers, “I got you something. Hang on.”

He closes the door before rifling around in his desk drawer, because if he doesn’t, he’s pretty sure Komaeda will come trailing after like a baby duck.

By the time he finds what he’s looking for, he half-expects Komaeda to be gone. Not that anyone on this island has anything to rush off to. Just because Komaeda is—unpredictable. You never really know what he’s going to do.

But when he opens the door Komaeda is waiting, still wearing that glittering smile.

“Here,” Hajime says, thrusting the gift at him. “It’s, uh. I already read it. But it’s interesting. It’s from another Ultimate, supposedly.” Unless the journal is just another of Monokuma’s tricks. But its author didn’t sound like Monokuma. They sounded sharp. Incisive. Humorless, and sort of… relentless? Not exactly Monokuma’s bag. “Some kind of investigator. ‘Ultimate PI,’ or something. And I know you’re into that stuff too, so…”

When he looks up, he can’t help but flinch. Komaeda’s smile has gone cold. Teeth bared in stiff straight lines, like keys on a piano. Eyes sharp and clear as breaking glass.

Reflexively, Hajime pulls his hand back. “Uh—”

“You really shouldn't waste your kindness on me, Hajime,” Komaeda says, all the words running together without any space between. “So much good fortune is an ill portent, haha! And luck is capricious; it has no sense of loyalty, or of… restraint. Of course you could never understand, fount of hope that you are, overflowing with—with generosity of spirit, with grace, but— You should step lightly, Hajime.” Even as Komaeda’s eyes go dark, his smile stretches wider. “That kindness of yours could be very dangerous.”

“Uhh.”

And then, like flipping a switch, the light flicks back on. “Ah! I'm so, so sorry, Hajime, for darkening your doorstep for so long. I could just die of shame. If you want to kill me, I understand. I promise to hold still."

"...I'm good."

"You certainly are!" Komaeda agrees, with a breathless little shudder. "I can't even begin to imagine. But if my worthless presence brought you down on such a hopeful day I just couldn't bear to live, so I'll get out of your sight. But I'll treasure your gift for the rest of my miserable life. I'd build a shrine for it but I know I'd only ruin it, with my disgusting talent, I'd probably bring the whole cottage down in flames—but I'll keep it close! I'll wear it over my heart, so I can bring you with me into the very trenches of despair!”

“You don’t have to—” Nope, that’s a lost cause. “Okay. Well. Glad you like it.”

“Very much so! Yes! So be vigilant, Hajime! Despair lies in wait around every corner!”

“Right. I mean, uh. You too.”

Hajime watches, nonplussed, as Komaeda practically sprints down the boardwalk to vanish through the gate. He takes a moment to reflect on the fact that he can’t even tell if Komaeda liked the gift or hated it. Or liked it so much that he hated it, or… hated it so much that it drove him to despair, which then filled him with hope? You can never really tell, with Komaeda.

"Ugh," he sighs, kneeing the door shut. "I dunno. I don't get that guy. Do you think he's mad at me?"

Chiaki makes a cursory effort to sit up before flopping back against the pillows. “Oh. Sorry. I wasn’t listening. What did he say?” 

“That he was very happy to see Hajime!” Sonia reports promptly. “But that good luck portends catastrophe, so Hajime would be wise to feel accordingly endangered! And that he’s going to put the present in a shrine!”

Chiaki yawns. “It sounds like he liked it.”

“Yeah, but… I dunno. Sometimes I think that pisses him off even more? Like he only gets really upset if you do something he likes.”

“That sounds very confusing,” Sonia says loyally. “I can speak only to my own experience, but I greatly enjoy receiving something I like from someone I like.”

“I like video games,” Chiaki contributes.

“We know, Chiaki.”

“And sunflower seeds.”

“Komaeda likes them, too,” Hajime mumbles. 

Sonia tries to exchange a significant glance with Chiaki, but it rebounds off the brick wall of Chiaki’s total lack of socialization. She settles for giving Hajime a sympathetic look. “Oh, Hajime. You give him too much of yourself! In Novoselic, children are taught never to put too much faith in any one paramour, lest you be cast adrift should they betray you, or lose their life in an evacuation drill.”

“…Why would they die if it’s only a drill?”

Sonia looks appalled. “Drills are very dangerous, Hajime-kun!!”

“Rock drills deal piercing and slashing damage,” Chiaki agrees. “Plus AOE staggering, sometimes.” 

“It’s important to be prepared for every possibility!!”

Hajime knows a losing battle when he sees one. “Okay. Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Now come back to bed,” Chiaki complains. “Sonia’s too pointy without a buffer. She’s got too many bones.”

“My sincerest apologies!! I shall remove them at once!!” 

“Please don’t,” Hajime sighs, flopping back onto the mattress. He spent half the day sleeping and he’s already exhausted. There’s never any homework and there aren’t any exams and he’s always, always tired. But the warm arms wrapped snugly around his ribcage help a little.

###

Hajime couldn’t tell you how he wound up in bed with two different sort-of girlfriends, one of whom is a NEET and the other a literal princess. (Though Chiaki is only interested in the actual sleeping. And sometimes holding hands.) 

Probably the mortal peril played a part. The sort of sinking, sickening dread that fills your lungs up with tar; makes you feel like you’ll never take a deep breath again. No shit, they could all use a little comfort. 

But mostly it was Sonia’s doing. She approached him, very matter-of-fact, after the first trial, and laid out a pitch on the benefits of oxytocin in the face of stress, and how citizens of Novoselic are encouraged to share their bed with at least one trusted comrade in times of war. (Hajime is starting to suspect that half of these Novoselic traditions are just Sonia doing whatever she wants).

At the time, he was speechless. Obviously. It’s not like he had any experience with this stuff, unless that’s just one more thing they scrubbed off his hippocampus. But Sonia is beautiful and unwavering and also, not that it really matters, a literal princess. It’s not like Hajime wasn’t sold.

He’d swear his heart stopped when another voice rang out from behind the arcade cabinet.

“I want in,” Chiaki said blearily. Had she been there the whole time? Hajime could only hope that she’d slept through most of his pathetic sputtering. “On the sleepovers. And feeling safe.”

Hajime looked toward Sonia, nervous, only to find her positively glowing. “Oh! Wonderful! Tanaka-san informs me that three is a very lucky number! And as our adversaries sew distrust among our ranks, it will be a great comfort to have two such dependable companions by my side!”

Chiaki blinked up at her, a little starry-eyed. Hajime got the sense it was her first time being called dependable. (Not that he could relate.)

So that’s good. It’s… really good, actually. It’s just everything else that’s the problem.

Every time Hajime thinks they’ve finally scraped bottom, Monokuma blows out the foundation and sends them tumbling deeper into the dark. Maybe there really is something to Komaeda's stupid theory of equivalent exchange. For every out-of-your-league girlfriend you pick up, you get one bonus trauma, free-of-charge. 

Kazuichi keeps trying to follow Sonia home, which kinda makes Hajime want to grab him by the throat and give him a Very Firm Lesson about consent. But of course Sonia insists that there’s no problem, because Kazuichi is pathetic but harmless, and also because she knows six different ways to kill a man with a hairpin and a pack of floss.

Chiaki takes a sudden, uncharacteristic interest in Fuyuhiko, who's too lost in his grief to even notice. (Though it probably doesn't help that, for Chiaki, 'taking an interest' mostly means 'playing the same handheld games as usual, but in your line of sight.')

Gundham tries to train a pack of special-ops attack squirrels and actually succeeds, which is way more worrying than if he’d failed. Kazuichi challenges Hajime to a duel for 'monopolizing Miss Sonia' and then bursts into tears when Hajime just says, Yeah, okay. Sure. If it'll make you feel better. Akane picks a pointless fight with Monokuma that takes Nekomaru out of commission without warning, overnight, with no way to know if he’s ever coming back or if he’s just—gone.

And Komaeda keeps pissing people off.

Hajime is pretty sure he’s doing it on purpose. Pushing people’s buttons, pushing his luck. Needling Fuyuhiko and goading Kazuichi and baiting Akane like he actually wants her to take a swing at him, even though Komaeda is made of tissue paper and Akane could deadlift a fucking tank. (Hajime has to intervene on that one personally. He’s really not interested in putting a classmate on trial just for sneezing a little too hard on Japan’s brittlest psycho). 

“Why would you do that?” he demands, after dragging Komaeda away. “You know you can’t take her.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of raising a hand against one of the Ultimates! Each and every one of you is my greatest inspiration!”

“So, why?” 

Komaeda’s eyes glitter. “Could it be that Hajime is worried about me?” 

“Of course I’m worried,” Hajime snaps. “I’m worried about all of us! On murder island! Where apparently they can just—release a virus to wipe us out, all the time, at any time, except it’s more fun to make us do it for them. And the rules keep changing, and everyone’s just…” His eyes burn. He swipes at them roughly with one hand. “Yeah! Yes! Jesus! I’m fucking worried about you! Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Hajime is too kind,” Komaeda purrs. “Such an undeserved honor for a wretched, worthless—”

“Will you stop that? It’s gross. And I know you’re just messing with me, so just—spare me.” 

Komaeda looks sideways at him. In the fading gray of twilight, his eyes shine like mirrored glass. “Do you have dreams of heroism, Hajime-kun?” he asks: a little softer, a little colder. “The knight in shining armor, come to save the villain from himself?”

Why is it always fucking riddles with this guy? “Huh?” 

Komaeda lets slip a little giggle. “I only mean to say… If my actions are so loathsome, why come to my rescue at all?”

Because I want you alive. Hajime bites it back. Komaeda would only laugh at him. “Maybe you forgot that killing someone gets you killed?” he scrapes out, instead. “I’m not really looking to execute any more friends.”

“Ah. Of course. Hajime is a sensitive soul.”

Right. Sensitive. ‘Sensitive’ is when you don’t want to watch a bunch of people die horribly. Hajime barks a laugh, blinks the blur out of his eyes. “Yeah. I guess you’ve really got my number.”

###

Sonia and Chiaki corner him in his cottage that same night.

“Hajime-kun,” Sonia greets him, when he opens the door. “Chiaki and I wish to speak to you. About us.”

“O-Oh yeah?” 

“‘Yeah!’” Sonia repeats, and you can actually hear the air quotes. “We are growing concerned that—”

“Can we go inside?” Chiaki asks plaintively. “I need to use an outlet.”

Hajime has no idea what to expect. It’s not like he’s got any points of reference. He’s never had one girlfriend, much less two. He’s probably never been this close with anyone. Or, if he has, he can’t remember. 

“Hajime-kun!” Sonia says fiercely. “We are concerned that you mean to bring Komaeda-san into our bed!”

Hajime chokes. “Wh-What???” 

“Not literally,” Chiaki says. She thinks about it. “Not necessarily literally.”

Hajime tries to laugh. Maybe he manages it. “What are you guys even… What? Komaeda?” 

It’s ridiculous. Not that Komaeda isn't—sort of—a certain kind of beautiful. And exciting, in the most stressful sense of the word. And kind of... magnetic? Like how you can’t help staring at a smoldering eight-car pile-up. The way he can turn on a dime. Like he’s playing a whole different game. 

…But that also makes him more than a little terrifying. 

“Come on,” Hajime protests, in the face of their deafening silence. “I wouldn’t—I mean. That guy is nuts.”

“Exhibit A!!” Sonia shrills, planting both hands firmly on his desk. “You court him with books and shiny baubles!”

“Wh– I give everyone gifts!”

“Exhibit B! You speak of him more often than of any other classmate! Typically with no small fervor, and—and at great length!!”

“At least once a day,” Chiaki agrees.

“Well, sure,” Hajime concedes. Komaeda is a dangerous guy. “He’s unpredictable. But it feels like there’s an underlying logic… Like, if I could just figure out how he thinks, then—”

“Exhibit C!” Sonia cuts in. “ You are still talking about him!”

…Ah. 

Hajime rubs the back of his neck. “You’re getting more into this courtroom stuff, huh?”

Sonia’s eyes shine with resolve. “Our very lives hang in the balance!!!” 

Chiaki elbows her. 

“…And I discovered a VCR player in the library,” Sonia admits. “And a trove of— But I am not the one on trial here!!”

“And I am?” 

Sonia hesitates. 

Chiaki just nods. 

Hajime sputters. “On what charges??”

“We think you have a crush on Komaeda,” Chiaki says calmly. “From how you’ve been mooning over him.”

Hajime chokes. 

He—what? On Komaeda? The same Komaeda who jerks him around, and fucks with his head, and insists on inserting himself into all of his plans? The same Komaeda who would be perfectly happy to watch them all die, as long as it sewed the seeds for some completely hypothetical, totally irrelevant ‘future hope’? That Komaeda???

…Maybe in the really early days, when Komaeda woke him up on the beach and ferried him through the most stressful day of his life with soft eyes and an easy smile... Maybe Hajime had kind of, sort of, very briefly thought of him as someone he could learn to rely on. And look how that turned out. 

It’s not like Hajime hates Komaeda. He… pities him, probably. The hunger in his eyes; the lie behind his smile. The way he keeps insisting that everyone leave him alone but still jolts to attention when anyone comes close, like a dog whose owner just said the word ‘treat.’

Though it would be easier to pity him if he didn’t insist on being so Komaeda about everything. Fervid and frantic and all too eager to peel back his skin and lay himself bare. The freaky self-flagellation jags; the way his voice goes all breathy when he goes on one of his ecstatic little tirades about hope. Like an open wound, all too desperate to bleed. 

Of course Hajime watches Komaeda. Someone has to keep an eye on him. That doesn’t mean he has a crush.

When his ears start working again, Sonia is still talking. 

“He does not make me feel safe,” she’s saying, shrill with defiance. “And he is not a good conversationalist! He discomfits! Seemingly deliberately!!”

Hajime frowns. But… that’s not true, is it? Komaeda is a great conversationalist. A little showy, maybe. And more than a little alarming. But taking all the weird little shards of himself that he gives you; trying to piece them together into some larger mosaic… It’s fascinating. It’s exciting. Like a puzzle box. (A puzzle box full of knives. An undisclosed number of which may or may not be spring-loaded.)

But Sonia probably won’t find that very convincing. Hajime grasps for another angle. 

“You’re dating Tanaka,” he points out.

“Yes! Yes! An excellent example! Gundham-kun would never ‘leave a homie hanging’! He is responsive! Adaptive! Creative and, and constructive, with a strong sense of play!!”

Hajime is pretty sure that’s just her experience. No one knows how to ‘yes-and’ like Sonia. “Nagito’s playful,” he tries. 

“No, Hajime! He is—mischievous, at best! He cannot commit to a bit! He insists on changing the rules, or changing the game, without deigning to inform anyone else!” 

…Yeah. Totally. “But isn’t that what makes him so interesting?”

“No!!”

“Yeah, no,” Chiaki agrees.

“You too?” Hajime asks, a little crestfallen. He’d got the sense that Chiaki at least sort-of liked Komaeda. She never seemed to turn on him like everyone else. But maybe that’s just because Chiaki never really turns on anyone. 

“Oh,” Chiaki mumbles. “Um. I like him okay. He seems like he’d have a secret route, and those are usually the most interesting. But I don’t think I want him to ever touch me.” She falls silent for a moment before adding, a little plaintive: “Can’t we date Fuyuhiko instead? I like his little smirk. And when he calls you a bastard.”

Hajime rolls his eyes. “He said he thinks of me as a brother.”

Chiaki considers that. “He said that about Peko, too. Maybe he’s just stupid?”

Hajime snorts, and then settles. There’s something still bothering him. “Wait. Hold on. Why am I in trouble here? Even if I was into in Komaeda—and I’m not saying I am!—it’s not like you guys have to date him.”

Sonia hesitates. “Things have been—trying,” she says, uncharacteristically softly. “And… we come here to feel safe. And I fear that, so long as we fail to grasp Komaeda-san’s true intentions, his comings and goings might make this place feel… less safe.”

Hajime’s defensiveness evaporates. “Aw, hey. Come on. You know I wouldn’t…”

Komaeda never actually tried to hurt anyone, part of him wants to argue. Except by tampering with evidence and manipulating a murder trial toward a false conviction that would very much get all of us killed, the rest of him points out.

“Look,” he says instead, taking both of her hands in his. “I’m not gonna put you guys in danger. Or make you feel like you’re in danger, or—whatever. If—I mean—in the totally impossible, fully hypothetical world where I wound up d-dating Komaeda…” He refuses to acknowledge the way his stomach lurches at the thought. “We could just… I dunno. Hang out at his place.” Or the motel, his traitorous brain whispers. Or the stacks at the back of the library. Pressed up against the shelves. 

Stop that, he tells it. You’re not helping. 

Sonia is still considering what he’s said. Weighing the intrinsic risk of Komaeda against the obvious hypocrisy of telling anyone who they can and can’t date when she’s dating the fucking Blue Exorcist. 

“I suppose that I cannot rightly stop you,” she says slowly. “It is not as though you are one of my subjects. Alright, Hajime-kun. I trust you. But please keep us apprised of any further developments.”

“Of course,” he promises. “But honestly, I just… really don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

Sonia’s mouth tugs up, wistful. “Haha. Yes. Wouldn’t that be nice.”

[I still haven't decided if I'm gonna build this out into series or just leave it as a oneshot, so if you wanna find out about future updates, feel free to subscribe on ao3!]

[brideofedoras]

Under Covers

This fic was inspired by this photo.  That leg is my current sexuality.

Tagging my urbabes: @below-average-fangirl​ @emily-strange​ @nora-hewlett​ @to-boldly-nope​ @urban-trek-thru-middle-earth​ @pandaqueen7799​ @bakerstreethound​ @portals-to-a-new-world​ @writerdee1701​ @ladyreapermc

Enjoy!

Rating: 18+

Word count: 3200+

Warnings: Smut.

Ember had never been more thankful for dark sunglasses in her life.  And coffee shops that opened at the ass crack of dawn near the sleepy suburbs surrounding the greater DC area.  And six hour car rides to get to their destination.  Hopefully her boss would be kind and not go over the operation parameters for the tenth time since yesterday afternoon and she could catch an hour of sleep.  Without dreams.  Please please please, don’t let me have any repeat dreams that kept me up all night, she prayed fervently. 

The last thing she needed was to have a any more vivid sex dreams about her very hot boss while in the car with him.

It was bad enough she had agreed to go on this assignment with him, posing as a couple at some fancy beach resort in North Carolina and she fit the profile of the type of woman their target frequently sought out.  There were probably sixty agents with more fieldwork under their belts (or at least more qualified) for this kind of op who fit the profile, but Cooper had chosen her.  It was both an honor that he wanted her with him and intimidating as hell because she did not want to let him down.  

Her phone pinged with an alert, drawing her from her exhausted stupor.

I’m outside.

Ember sighed.  Be down in a minute, she texted back.  She slipped her phone in her back pocket, shouldered her purse and grabbed the handle of her suitcase.  She mentally went over her Leaving For Vacation checklist for the hundredth time, just as she always did before leaving for a few days.  Plants watered, lights off, oven off, thermostat set to a reasonable temperature, all small appliances unplugged, windows locked.  Phone charger and keys in purse.  Toiletry bag in suitcase.  Vibrator and extra batteries in suitcase… 

Unfortunately, since they were posing as a couple and would be sharing a one bedroom bungalow, she would have to remove the batteries to make damned sure she wouldn’t embarrass the hell out of herself should she need to relieve any frustrations.

Which there would be plenty.  William Cooper was a walking wet dream.  Tall.  Broad shouldered.  Scowly.  Sexy.  Intelligent.  And deep down underneath that frown she was used to seeing on a daily basis he was a softie.  That rarely seen soft side only fueled her crush on him that much more.  

With a weary sigh Ember set her security alarm and locked the door behind her.

Black Mercedes sedan, Cooper’s next text buzzed through.

Her brow quirked up as she pressed the call button for the elevator.  No Porsche?

Didn’t want to look like a man going through a midlife crisis.  

She bit back a smile.  You’re too young for a midlife crisis.

Ember was not surprised when no response buzzed through.  She stuffed her phone in her pocket once more and stifled a yawn as she made her way out to the parking lot.

She thought nothing of it when Cooper climbed out of the car and made his way to the back.  But once he cleared the trunk she nearly tripped over her feet.

In the short time she had known William Cooper she had never seen him wearing anything other than a suit.  Granted, most of the time the jacket was off and his sleeves rolled up, but suits had quickly become the sexiest thing she’d ever seen on a man (firmly replacing uniforms.  She’d always been a sucker for a man in a military uniform or tactical gear up until the first time she’d seen her boss loosen his tie and roll up his shirt sleeves).  

But she was woefully unprepared to see her hot boss wearing casual clothes.  A blue and white plaid button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, unbuttoned over a light grey tee-shirt and a pair of snug jeans with a hole ripped in the left knee… and a pair of sunglasses hiding those dangerously gorgeous hazel eyes.  And the stubble gracing his jaw.  Oh sweet heavens she was a sucker for unshaven jaws...

She once again thanked her lucky stars for dark sunglasses hiding her eyes.

The trunk latching shut startled her out of her wandering thoughts.  

“Get in the car, Kid.”

Oh.

No.

He.

Didn’t.

Ember bristled at that moniker.  She hated being called kid.  Hated it.  She was twenty-eight years old, barely, what, seven years younger than him.  Her eyes began to burn when she jerked the passenger door open.  Oh, don’t start, she admonished herself.  It’s too damned early and I hardly slept last night.  

“Easy there, tiger,” Cooper commented as he joined her in the car.  “You okay?”

She carefully shut her door, fastened her seatbelt and took a deep breath before she responded.  “Yeah.  Sleepless night,” she pasted on a smile as she turned to face him.

His brow furrowed.  “Worried about the op?”

“You could say that,” she let the smile fall off as she settled back in her seat.  That was partly true, at least.  She was worried about her part, terrified she would blow it. 

“You’ve got the easy job,” he started the car.  “Look pretty, flirt, be coy.”

“You call that easy?”  She glared at him behind her sunglasses, blushing at his look pretty comment.  “I can’t flirt my way out of a paper bag if I tried.”

His dimples flashed when he grinned.  “‘Your tie brings out the gold in your eyes, Boss’ ring a bell?  Or ‘You’ve got a bit of powdered sugar on your cheek’?”

Ember flushed beet red.  “A compliment and a gentle warning before a meeting are hardly flirting!”  She stammered out.

God, she had mentally kicked herself for a MONTH on the powdered sugar incident, brushing it from his cheek with her thumb.

Her palm still tingled from the feel of his afternoon stubble when she had cupped his cheek, as if she had any right touching him in such an intimate manner! 

“You were flirting,” his grin widened as he pulled out onto the street.  “And the plate of extra cookies left over from your Christmas dinner?”

“Figured your kids would like some cookies, and I had more than enough left over,” she shifted in a poor attempt to hide the blush creeping up her chest and neck and wished like hell she had worn something other than a scoop neck tank top.  She was not a pretty blusher when her chest got all splotchy.

“That’s what break rooms are for,” he chuckled.  “Pretty sure Sanderson would ask you to marry him if you bring baked goods in.”

She shuddered.  “Pretty sure he still lives in his parents’ basement.”

“Yeah, he has that personality,” Cooper frowned thoughtfully, slowing for a stoplight.  “Not your type then?”

“Have you ever heard me flirt with him?”

His belly laugh echoed through the car.  “No, no, I haven’t,” he managed to get out when his laughter died down.  “You can give Wilkes a run for her money in the ice queen department when you’re dealing with him.”

“I hope you’re giving me a compliment and not calling me a frigid bitch,” she couldn’t help but smile.  

“She’s the frigid bitch and she wears that badge with pride.  She made Sanderson cry a couple of times.  You’re at least polite.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be,” she turned her attention back to the window.  “And I don’t flirt.”

“‘You’re too young for a midlife crisis’?”

“Not flirting!”  She shifted until her back was to him.  

“What is it, then?”

“The truth,” her forehead thunked against the passenger window.  “Thirty-five is still young.”  She sighed heavily.  “Age is only a number, what matters is how you feel inside.  Take Grandpa- er, Henry, for example.  He’s eighty-five, still working downstairs, running circles around the younger desk jockeys.”  

“I need to find out what his secret is,” Cooper mused beside her.

“No,” she squeaked out, remembering something she’d overheard her grandpa telling Joe a few years ago when they went to New Orleans to see her godfather.  “You don’t want to do that.”  That particular memory would be forever burned into her brain.

He looked over at her.  “Wait, he really has a secret?  What is it?”

“Nope,” she shook her head.  “It was bad enough overhearing it.  I’m not telling you.”

If she could lobotomize herself to remove that particular memory of hearing her grandfather say his secret to remaining youthful at heart was masturbating every day she’d do it in a heartbeat.

The thought of telling her hot boss was embarrassing.  

But the images popping up in her head of her boss following Henry’s secret to youthful energy?

Ember squirmed a little in her seat.  “H-how long of a drive is it again?”  Her voice cracked.

“Six hours if traffic isn’t bad.”

Six hours in a car with her hot boss.  After a couple of sex dreams and a long, sleepless night with her normally trusty vibrator and her vagina’s stubborn refusal to accept a toy penis to get the job done?  Fuck.

She groaned.  “Straight through, no stops?”

“I’ll make a couple of stops, I’m not a monster,” he chuckled.  “You have breakfast yet?”

She shook her head.  “There’s a coffee shop up ahead.  They have donuts and breakfast sandwiches.”

“Any recommendations?”

“The omelette sandwiches are to die for,” she stifled a yawn behind her hand.  “They come with sausage and cheese.  You’ve already had their donuts.”

He groaned.  “Might have to order a dozen for this weekend.”

“Better make it two dozen,” she shifted in her seat to get more comfortable.  “I’m not crawling out of bed before ten a.m. this weekend.”

“You’ve already claimed the bed, huh?”

A slow, delicious warmth crawled through her veins at the husky, playful tone in her boss’ voice.  “Figured it was a given since I’m a woman and you seem like the kind of guy who would take the couch.”

“Sweetheart, my back can’t take sleeping on couches for even a little catnap anymore,” he flipped on the blinker and turned into the lot for the coffee shop.  

“The bed’s a king, isn’t it?  We could share it,” her eyes fluttered shut behind her sunglasses.  “I promise to be on my best behavior.”

The strangled cough coming from the driver’s seat had her eyes snapping open.

“What?”

“You’re flirting again,” his voice was really husky now.

She frowned at him.  “No, I wasn’t.  My brain loses its filter when I’m running on very little sleep.”

“Always an excuse,” he shook his head as he rolled down the window.  “What kind of coffee?”

“Just ask for the Emberleigh special, they’ll know.”

Twenty minutes later (and some seriously teasing looks from the barista silently telling her that she was going to have to tell him all about the hot guy in the luxury sedan next week) they were on the freeway heading to North Carolina.  Cooper set the cruise and shifted to get comfortable.  

“Should we go over the parameters again?”

Ember swiveled her head around to glare at him, an “Oh, hell no” dying on her lips when she took in the glorious sight before her.

He had his left arm on the door, elbow bent to hook his fingers along the top of the window, left knee bent to showcase some tanned skin and glorious denim-encased thigh.

A very weak, very breathy “no” left her lips instead of the feisty retort.

He cast a quick glance at her before returning his attention to the road and the traffic around them.  “Seat reclines if you want to take a nap,” he told her.  

Sleep was suddenly the furthest thing from her mind.

And learning the seat reclined?

That really didn’t help matters any.  At.  All.

She picked up her caramel macchiato and took a sip.  Her vain attempt to put the brakes on the naughty thoughts forming in her mind just from the way those jeans hugged those thighs and that knee…

Stop it, Emberleigh, she firmly reprimanded herself as she turned back to watch the traffic in front of her.  Count road kill or play the license plate game.  Don’t stare at Cooper’s thighs and wonder what they look like out of those jeans.  Or nipping at them.  Or how thick he gets when he’s… sonofamotherfuckingbitch...

“If you want to turn the radio on, go for it, I listen to just about anything,” his voice broke through her wayward thoughts, teasing her with that husky tone.  “Except for the new crap.”

She blinked.  “Yeah, I can’t listen to that stuff either,” she pulled a face before looking at the dash and the stereo.  “I can Bluetooth my phone if that’s okay?”

“Go for it.”

Of course her playlist would just have to start off with “Rock You Like A Hurricane” by the Scorpions.  

And oh that wicked, wicked grin that slowly spread across William Cooper’s face and his poor attempt to imitate the lead singer’s vocals… of course that would make her squirm.

Both hands were on the steering wheel now, thumbs drumming along to the beat.

The tempo was the perfect rhythm to have sex to.  She mentally whined at the images popping into her head.  

The thought of Cooper timing his thrusts to the beat of the drum and adding a little rocking motion with the drum rolls nearly did her in.  And the fact he was singing off-key only made her that much hotter.

Ember squirmed, pressing her thighs together as she forced her attention on the road ahead of them.  

I’m fucked if he does this the entire drive…

She caught her bottom lip in her teeth to hold back the shuddery whine when her boss put his all into the one man, driver’s seat concert.  By the time Cooper pulled off the freeway at a rest stop she was a mess.

“You okay over there?”

His husky voice broke through her nearly-fevered thoughts.  “Huh?”

“You okay?  You’re whimpering over there,” he shoved his sunglasses up to give her a worried look.  “You get car sick?”

“No,” she shook her head.  

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

Yes!

She bit down on her bottom lip and shook her head.  “God dammit…”

“Ember, do I need to call someone else in on this?”  Gone was the light-hearted, teasing tone, in its place the no nonsense, cold tone she was used to in the office.  

Ember sucked in a shuddery breath.  “No, sir.  I can do this.”

“You’re about to crawl out of your skin, Ember,” he shifted in his seat to show her she had his full attention.  “What’s wrong?”

“You really don’t want to know,” she cringed when she realized how needy she sounded.

The silence in the car neared a deafening pitch… or was it her heart thundering in her ears… as she waited for his rebuttal.

“Honey, I think I do.”

Honey.

Honey.

That one word, the low, guttural way he practically growled it, had even more heat pooling low in her belly.  

She must have moaned or whispered his name, something to make his hazel eyes darken.  “I… should…  get some air…” she blindly reached for the seat belt.

But instead of reaching for the door she leaned across the console.

Cooper met her halfway.  His hands slid along her jaw to tilt her head before his lips met hers.

Ember let out a strangled moan when his tongue snaked into her mouth and curled around hers, teasing her, torturing her until she shuddered and pulled away for air.  She slowly blinked open her eyes to meet his.  “We… shouldn’t…”

“No, we definitely shouldn’t,” he agreed huskily as he tugged her into another kiss.  “It’s a damned bad idea.”

One minute she was still in her seat kissing her sexy boss.  The next she was straddling his lap with the seat reclined, her cutoffs nowhere to be found.  She pawed at his clothing as he tugged the low neckline of her tank top down to expose her lace-covered breasts.

“We can get naked later when we get to the beach house,” he growled before biting one pearled nipple through the sexy bra she wore.

Ember gasped his name as his hands curved over her ass to grind his hips into hers.  Any attempts to divest him of that magnificent plaid shirt and tee-shirt were quickly forgotten.

His jeans had to go.  Or at least be undone and pushed down so the zipper wouldn’t scratch the shit out of her ladybits.

She curled one hand into his dark hair and shoved her other hand between them as Cooper switched his attention to her other breast.  Holy Jesus she never thought getting her nipples sucked through a bra would be so hot!

“Easy, Tiger,” he groaned when she yanked at his belt.  He dropped his hands from her hips to help her, thrusting his hips up just enough to shove those slightly snug jeans down to mid-thigh.  They both moaned when his erection rubbed against her uncomfortably wet panties.

He hooked his fingers into the crotch of her panties and pulled them aside, earning another shuddering whine from Ember when his knuckles brushed her clit.  He palmed his hard length with his other hand and thrust his hips up.

“Oh… god…” she curled her fingers into his shirt as he grabbed her hips to pull her down.  

“I’m hardly god, Baby,” he half-groaned, half-chuckled as her tight heat sheathed him.  “Fuck… you’re so tight…”

She rolled her hips slowly.  “I don’t think I’m gonna last,” she moaned when Cooper’s hands palmed her ass to guide her.  

“Me either, Sweetheart,” he rocked his hips in time with hers.  

Ember buried her face in Cooper’s neck when the coil low in her belly tightened.  She untangled one hand from his shirt and slipped it between them, her fingers seeking out her clit.  

“That’s it, Baby,” he growled when he felt her knuckles against his lower belly.  His hands tightened into a bruising grip, one she relished, as he thrust up harder and faster.

She quickened the pace of her fingertips on her clit.  “Oh…  God…  Cooper…”

“Ember.”

She blinked her eyes open at the gentle squeeze of a large hand on her shoulder.  

“Wake up, Sleepyhead, we’re stopping for lunch,” he cleared his throat when she turned her head to face him.

Ember’s brow furrowed.

What the hell?

She was buckled in her seat, fully dressed?

Cooper dropped his hand.  “I’m surprised you fell asleep with my singing,” he teased her.  “Never worked on my kids when they were little.”

Did he sound a little gruff?

She blinked her eyes to try to focus on him.  Was he avoiding eye contact, too?  Damn those sunglasses…

“No comment?”  His chuckle sounded a tad forced.

“No!”  She blushed fiercely, wondering now if her dream had been… possibly a bit vocal.  “N-no, I… I guess a smooth car ride combined with a sleepless night put me to sleep.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it,” he slipped the key from the ignition and shifted in his seat to slip it in his pocket.  “Come on, I’ll buy you lunch.”

[golbrocklovely]

so i finished reading the boys book. i wanted to write down my thoughts about it, so if you've also read it (or just want to know my general feelings about it), feel free to message me !!

SPOILERS AHEAD

also it's gonna be really long bc i have a lot of thoughts. and i'm gonna rate the book at the end if that matters to you lol

so one of the main things that's brought up A LOT in the book is the boys not trying to judge trey and georgia, and honestly it is so annoying to me. idk why gaby wrote it like that, or if sam and colby insisted bc they sounded judgmental thru out the book, but good god the amount of times they talk about not wanting to be judgy, but then going ahead and judging two seconds later is way too much.

there's literally a part in the second chapter where colby says that he hates judgmental ppl, and then literally him and sam judge the rest of the book lmao

i think it's fine that they are judging thru out the whole book bc this situation that they are going thru is foreign to them, so you're gonna be questioning things a lot, i just... don't get why they wanted to say they're not judgmental as if that's the worst thing.

like you literally almost get sacrificed to the dark lord, i think it’s okay if you’re a bit of an asshole, sam and colby

i got annoyed when the boys got really into their philosophies early on in the book, but that's very on brand for them. they don't talk about 'living life to the fullest' and all that shit too much in the book, which is good bc honestly that would have been worse, but they do mention it.

personally, colby's chapters were funnier to read than sam's. maybe it's just bc colby's (kinda sorta) inner dialogue is something i relate to more, but i did find his chapters to be more interesting imo

the nature descriptions in this book are abundant and god knows how gaby was able to describe it as well as she did over and over again. that being said, it happens too many times. like, personally, i don't care about tropical nature, that's not my cup of tea, but if you love that imagery, cool beans and those parts must have been fun for you. but like for me, it was just kinda boring and redundant after a while. bc literally every time the nature was mentioned, it was going from 'oh it's really beautiful. no it's not beautiful, it's gorgeous. no it's ethereal. no it's heaven' and i was just like... we get it.

idk why, but maybe i didn't pay attention well enough, but the drama that happened with trey and colby didn't really feel like it got fully flushed out. like, i got the general idea that trey told colby that youtube was a dumb idea, but i feel like it would have been better to really express how much that hurt colby's feelings, and why that made him cautious to help or see trey.

them physically saying 'this experience is so crazy, we're gonna have to write a book about it'... was a bit too on the nose for me.

highkey, kinda loved the casual mention that sam and colby have smoked weed before, since this is something they both haven't said they've done. (granted we have all seen that one livestream where colby was literally high on an edible or whatever with prettyheartbreak aka my fav livestream of colby’s lol)

also, idk why, but it weirded me out that colby was so hyper-fixated on a mermaid statue of a 16 year old girl... it was just weird to me.

the build up to the spooky stuff took a while to get to, like almost a 100 pages, and i honestly thought half way thru that they were gonna leave the belle estate for good and all the spooky shit would happen afterwards

that being said, i think where the real experience stopped and the novel begins is the first time they left the belle estate. i just have hunch.

not technically book related, but the convo they had to have with alex about turning him into a bad guy must have been a fun lol

like i can literally imagine them asking 'would you be okay with betraying us in our novel?' and alex just being like 'yeah, 100% do it. i'm ready to sacrifice you guys already.' lmao

and my biggest gripe about the book (and also the hugest spoiler):

all the spooky shit they experienced was not real and was just a drug induced hallucination??? i call bullshit.

i think at times it would have been fine to mention that georgia drugged them, or even drugged trey to be compliant (like roofies or something like that), but to literally do the 'it was all a dream' thing except make it drugs... was such a huge let down. 

like, it was cool for a moment to be like, 'holy shit it's not real and she's gonna kill them bc she thinks it is, but she's actually just in a drug induced psychosis'. but the let down of all the ghost and spirits they saw were just bad trips??? i hate that. it was such a cop-out. it would have been so much better to just go full spooky and be like 'no, there's spirits but also we're high', you know?

random things that are extremely nitpicky but whatever i want to say them lol:

colby literally saying ‘w-t-f’ when the sacrifice is going to happen was the dumbest thing i’ve read. there were a couple times thru out the book gaby used internet lingo which was fine (i have no room to talk i literally use ‘i-d-k’ sometimes in actual conversation), but if i was about to be sacrificed, i’d be using every curse word i have in my vernacular lol

sam calling trey a ‘lucky fucker’ was not something i could see sam calling someone, but maybe that’s just me.

there were times it was extremely word heavy, which i know sounds stupid to say for a novel. but there were times that it just felt like gaby was trying to reach a word count, so she would just say every word she could think of. also things were just worded weirdly at times. idk how else to describe it, but if you read it, you probs noticed it too.

there was this one moment in the book i literally got lost at what the fuck was happening bc the boys were flip flopping between hallucinating and hating the belle estate and i was just confused as to what was going on. like, it’s fine for them to lose it, but you don’t need the reader to also be lost along the way.

i would have loved an epilogue of some sort. it felt like it ended too abruptly, so it would have been cool to have some sort of ending where maybe they make a video about the experience, no one believes them bc it’s insane, and then they get news that the belle estate burned down and that trey wasn’t found. or like maybe they get a letter that the belle estate was handed down to them or something like that.

kalani explaining everything to the guys felt a bit lazy. i’m not entirely sure how else gaby could have told all of that information to the audience and sam and colby but it was just weird to have some random person we’ve never met before know everything that was about to happen to them and why.

actual positives i have about the book bc i feel like i shit talked the whole thing:

the humor thru out was really good. how all four of the boys joke with each other felt really realistic and it added some nice touches to the darker scenes.

the gore of kalani having his heart ripped out of his chest was fucking terrifying and dope as shit. i literally went into this book thinking no one was gonna die besides whoever the bad guy was, but i was wrong and i’m impressed.

the hauntings and the descriptions of what sam and colby experienced were so cool and i really loved how she wrote it.

the internal monologue of sam and colby felt exactly like what i think they would sound like in their heads. i think she got a really good grasp at who they are and was able to dictate what they would sound like in a situation like this.

the one scene towards the end where colby was saying how much he loved sam... i literally almost cried.

my rating of the book: 3.5/5 stars

overall, there were parts to the book that i really did enjoy, but i have to take a step back and wonder that if i didn’t know who sam and colby were, would i have even read this book? i don’t usually read paranormal stories, but i have a few in my collection so i think i would have been drawn to the book bc of that. however, i don’t know if i would have understood who the boys were as ppl if i didn’t already know who they were before hand. also i feel like at times the story fell a little flat and for it to take almost 40% of the book to get to the actual haunting parts, i’m not really impressed by that. while i did like reading this book, it could have been a bit better.

please let me know what you think !! i would love to hear your thoughts/theories/commentary on all of it too :)

[roskimag]

I Pinned You From Across the Zoom

By Tori Frank

When you have them pinned, that’s how you know it’s real. The anonymous owners of @usc.missedconnections on Instagram discussed zoom romance and the seductive mystery of having an admirer behind the screen.

Imagine Gossip Girl, but make it all horny college students deprived of casual touch. That is the drama of @usc.missedconnections. If you don’t avidly stalk their account, you either have an unheard of self-confidence that doesn’t require any external validation, you deleted your Instagram in a fit of quarantine frenzy, or you haven’t heard of them yet, and you’re very curious about the previously stated analogy.

See the bio of the @usc.missedconnections page: “Have a message for the person whose zoom you always pin or saw from 6 ft away? Anonymously send your missed connection below!” Below sits the google form where all the virtual action happens: the flirts, the cat calls, the compliments, and the subtle roasts. It really is a good time, somewhat making up for the lack of classroom banter that would normally occur.

I sat down with the students who began the account, and we chatted about the new sensation that is dominating everyone’s feed.

Tori: My roommates and I have been following your page pretty actively, as I think a lot of people have been recently.

@usc.missedconnections just surpassed 3000 followers in the few months since their origin on September 30th, 2020

T: It’s definitely very entertaining, especially with Zoom making everything a little bit more boring and separated. It’s been really fun to follow @usc.missedconnections and see what’s the tea! To begin, how did you come up with the idea of creating this account?

Connector 1: I was between USC and another school out on the East coast. Some good friends that I went out and visited there showed me the [Instagram] page at that school, and I was like, “Hey that's a cool idea, that looks like a lot of fun.’ I texted _(Connector 2)_. I was like, “Hey here’s some dumb idea, we’ll get 50 people, we’ll get 2 responses a day. It will be kind of fun to just post them,” and we just grew from there.

T: So how many posts do you guys get a day now?

Connector 2: It’s actually ticked up a lot in what, the past like 2 weeks-ish? For a long time we had a solid 100 just in the bank, and then we slowly [opened them], but it's been 200 plus starting just recently, which is weird. We started posting more frequently to catch up.

Connector 1: Yeah I presume we get about 30-ish on average a day.

Are you intrigued yet? About 30 lucky students across the online campus are being called out for some reason another, be it their sexy voice, their mustache, their wall decorations, or the way they eat their oranges. And on the flip side, about 30 people a day are shooting their anonymous shot through the account. With anonymity of course comes a certain audacity to get real freaky over the submission form. I wondered how freaky it could get.

T: Do you post all of the ones that come, or is there some sort of filtering process?

Connector 1: We’ve had a couple instances where people have been mentioned or certain organizations that have been mentioned have requested for us to take the post down, so we’ve always just respected that if we’re ever asked to take the post down for whatever reason.

Connector 2: I periodically will go through, and I’ll be like, “This one’s weird, I don't think we need to post that,” and then I'll delete it.

_(connector 1)_ idk if you know that I do that, but um…

Connector 1: Oh probably. I mean, I’ve deleted one before.

Connector 2: Yeah, when I’m doing them sometimes I’ll be like ‘this is a little weird how can we phrase this in a way that's not exactly… yeah.

T: Yeah, what’s like the line? Because I think a lot of the time some of the things can be kind of… creepy… I mean the whole thing is like…

Connector 1: (cuts in, chuckling) Kinda creepy 

T: (agreeing) Kinda creepy, right!

There have been submissions such as:

“To ____, Did you know if you rearrange the letters of Coronavirus you get “carnivorous”? Which makes sense because I want to spend the next 14 days of quarantine eating you”

and

“____ in BUAD 497, my only motivation for coming to class is being able to pin your video and look at your beautiful face for two hours”

Connector 1: It’s interesting, um, when we first started it, we talked, and the thing we were worried most about was like cyber bullying, and I personally haven't seen many posts. You get the offhand sarcastic comments, um, which are pretty funny sometimes, but I don’t know if we... we don't really have a set filter. If we feel like something’s over the bar, then we’ll kinda edit it out. Of course a lot of the time too if we’re iffy on something we’ll text the other person and be like ‘hey what do you think of this’ so, it's no distinct line, but our goal is never to make anyone uncomfortable.

T: Yeah, I think generally it's been pretty positive, a lot of affirming things. Even sometimes not romantic, like just positive comments which is pretty cool, and it's good to see that that's been going on. 

Aw so sweet, fellow Trojans getting along so well. But this is a juicy topic. Playing the role as the reporter, I had to get the inside scoop.

T: Do you ever get messages about yourself?

Connector 1: I’ve had 2

Connecter 2: Yeah he’s had 2, I haven’t had any and I’m mad about it. I want one

Connector 1: I gave you one

Connector 2: You gave me one but I knew it was from you so it didn’t mean anything.

T: So you’re not only the owners of the account. You’re sort of participating in the game as well.

Connector 1: Oh, it’s always a blast when like you’re reading through and you know the person who it's getting written about and you’re just waiting. Yeah, that’s like my favorite part of it, and also the guessing games sometimes are a lot of fun too.

Connector 2: For a long time people were scared to tag people that it was about in the comments, but now there’s no hesitation. People will just tag everyone, which I think is really fun.

Its also fun that we don’t give the full last name because then its kinda funny when you get a really generic “Sam B” or “Lucy J” and 6 different Lucy’s get tagged and half the time we know who it really is because we saw the last name and then edited it out.

T: Why don’t you include the full name?

Connector 2: I think it’s more fun. (shyly shrugs) It’s about keeping the mystery, you know? Who could it possibly be about? 

Connector 1: We do get a lot of requests though because of that, where people are like, “Hey, is this me? Can you tell me who sent this in?” and we're like “I don't know.”

Connector 2: Yeah people DM us every day asking for things, and also sometimes people don't understand that we have a forum in our bio and they send it in thru DM, their missed connections, which sort of ruins the anonymity and its sort of embarrassing for them bc we have to be like, “please submit it in our bio,” and they have to be like “oh god now they know”

T: It’s almost like a masquerade. 

Again, I am imagining Jenny Humphrey wearing her golden mask at the Constance Billard School for Girls Masquerade Ball, prancing around Nate Archibald without him having the faintest idea of who he will be kissing. Maybe this is a little different, but the spirit is there!

T: Looking through your posts of course, a lot of them are, “Oh, I have your screen pinned, I watch you all the time in class” Do you guys do that? Do you think that that's like, Zoom behavior now, or is that still cringe?

Connector 2: Idk if I’d pin for a whole class, but I’ve been known to take a look, and based on all the things we’ve gotten sent it I guess people do. If you’re in a lecture thats boring, fair enough. I can't fault you for that. It’s so weird right now, so who knows?

Connector 1: I think it's really fun also, like, people get really creative too. A lot of them are really general but we just posted one today that had a Kanye reference. We get poetry sometimes. I love the poets. It’s a lot of fun for us and I think other people get to read the more fun posts then, like “hey I saw you”, when saying “hey I saw you” does make it, I guess, easier to match, but it’s less exciting for everybody else

T: To match... going off of that, have you heard of any success stores?

Connector 2: I have not but I desperately want to know. I think if people get married we legally have to officiate the wedding. We’ll go public to officiate the wedding. We’ll break anonymity for that.

T: Do a little daft punk moment

Connector 1: Yeah exactly. The [ones] behind the mask.

T: Do you think you want to continue it next year or post COVID in general?

Connector 1: Yeah, I mean I want to.

They talked about potential future: color schemes, contemplating a purple theme or the classic USC colors. I can tell that the account is only growing from here. It’s not like there is any shortage of desperate college students!

T: That’s exciting. I’m excited to see where the account goes!

Connector 1: Us too

T: I’m also looking forward to hopefully getting a post about myself. I have not yet. I know you guys are hiding it

Connector 1: Oh yeah, well with the 200 post back log I’m sure it’ll come out soon...

[taumoeba]

tag games compilation under the cut bc ive been meaning to do these and didnt get to them until now! thank you to everyone who tagged me:) i appreciate it greatly even if i am v lazy<3 anyways this was fun

1. this or that book edition

hardcover or paperback ∙ rent or buy • reads in silence or reads with music • standalone or series • annotations or pristine pages • ebook or physical copy • dog ears or bookmarks • mismatched series or complete set • cover matters or you don’t judge • lend books or keep them to yourself • enjoys lit classics or despises them • browses shops or orders online • reads reviews or goes in blind • unreturned books or clean library record • rereads or once was enough • fanfic enthusiast or a stickler for canon (eh i dont read that much anymore so i guess neither)• deep reader or easily distracted • must read the book before seeing the movie or order doesn’t matter • has neat bookshelves or messy bookshelves • skips ahead or resists temptation • reads aloud or in your head • guesses plot twists or never sees them coming

2. 🎶 put your playlist on shuffle and expose your first 10 songs! 🎵

i listen to the most random music so enjoy!

1: origin of love - orchestra version (mika) (i love mika!)

2: children (justin bieber) (LMAO I DONT EVEN LISTEN TO HIM ANYMORE I JUST HAD IT SAVED) 

3: my shot from the hamilton soundtrack remix version (LMAO)

4: true colors (zedd, kesha)

5: superman (taylor swift)

6: soft - acoustic (handsome ghost)

7: lucky strike (troye sivan)

8: movement (hozier)

9: security (stop light observations)

10: 10 bands (drake) (I DONT LISTEN TO DRAKE ANYMORE EITHER)

3. picrew!

4. describe yourself in 4 characters

lol. percy jackson. linh cinder? chidi anagonye! and i guess sokka

5. spell out your url using song titles

my url is so long sigh okay here we go

c - chai tea (audrey)

h - hard to love (the mowgli’s)

a - are you bored yet? (wallows feat clairo)

s - still feel (half alive)

e - electric love (borns)

r - run the world (beyonce)

p - prologue/the day i got expelled (the lightning thief musical)(lmaooooo)

e - emotional girls (sawyer)

r - rivers and roads (the head and the heart)

c - cemetery (coin) 

y - you are in love (tswift)

6. questions about reading!

do you have a certain place at home for reading? usually on my bed or on the couch

do you use bookmarks? if so, what kind? no lmaoo i am a terrible person i just close the book and whenever i come back i flip thru the pages until i find my spot

can you just stop reading or do you have to make it to the end of the chapter? i can stop whenever but i prefer ending on a chapter

do you eat or drink while reading? only water

music or tv while reading? music is okay if ive read it before, otherwise no im not a monster (i cant focus)

one book at a time or several at once? *stares at the 5 books im reading right now* i used to be one book at a time but since my attention span is short i like to switch between books :)

reading at home or out? at home. like i know its quarantine but even before that it’d be at home

reading silently or out loud? silently

do you read ahead, skip pages? yes its so bad. i spoil myself CONSTANTLY

breaking the spine? i dont like it but all my fave books have their spines broken:(

do you mark your books? im not against writing in books and ive definitely done it before but sometimes i just physically cant

[harmandy]

—- ☼ (keri russell, forty-one, cis female, she/her.) have you met HARMONY ANDREWS? they’ve been living in PEARL HEIGHTS for ELEVEN YEARS now, but are originally from ESSEX. you can catch them working as a RECEPTIONIST, which makes sense as they’re GOOD-NATURED and OPTIMISTIC, as well as OVER-PROTECTIVE, and HOT-HEADED. keep an eye out for them! (ooc: pace, 21+, gmt, she/her)

hi, friends ! y’all can call me pace, and you may remember me from such roles as ‘admin that calls everybody her pals and uses too many exclamation marks’ ! i’m super excited to get bayhaven up and running ( and hopefully thriving ! ) and writing with your glorious muses ! i’m also playing FREYA and SOFIA, and their intros should be up just after this one ! so, in the words of shania twain, let’s go girls ! p.s i’m famously bad at intros at the best of times, but i’ve been wrestling a migraine for the last few days and i’m actually writing these up early and scheduling them; i’m hoping to be around, but want to be prepared for if i can’t be. so i gotta be honest, these are all a lil rushed, but hopefully they give a vague idea and enough of a gist !

ABOUT:

so, harmony’s actually a lot of fun for me -- she actually started as an npc from a different character’s background, and i just grew really attached to her ! i loved harmony as a concept and as a character, so thought it was about time i played her properly ! so, i revived her ( did i mention she was always dead before ? my gal was always dead before oopsie ) and here she is !

she’s a receptionist up at bayhaven’s hospital, so sometimes works funky hours, and has four smashing lil’ children ! i say children,,, two of them are grown adults, but... her kids !!! she’s dedicated her life to those little demons !

harmony is a chocolate loving, pasta making, scrapbooking, junk journal doing, laundry folding, zero-luck-with-love-having, legend, and she just has a lot of love to give.

i miiiiight be open to putting up wc’s for the two oldest kids at some point ( with like lots of wiggle room and ofc as Different characters than the ones i’ve developed before ) but i’ll have to see ! i keep flip-flopping between wanting to and not so i feel like that’s a ‘i should think on it and see how things go’ kinda sign !

i tried to whip up a a condensed rundown of her backstory, her kids and how they came to be, etc. but it got so long and rambly. however, i’ve copy and pasted the bullet points and whacked them HERE instead if you’re curious, especially while her full biography is a wip !

so she’s a mother of four to nevaeh ‘nev’, faith, harvey, and avalon ‘ava’ and they range from aged six to age twenty-four. she had her eldest at seventeen, and has been cut off from the rest of her family ever since. 

however, her aunt didn’t plan on dying when she did, so hadn’t gone over her will recently ---- if she had, she may have realised that she never took harmony out of it, and harms inherited her house in bayhaven when her youngest child ( at the time ) was four, and she and her family have lived together in pearl heights ever since. 

she loves the community in pearl heights. she loves that everyone seems to have eachother’s backs, and actually like she fits in somewhere. they have a nice lil four bedroom house ( or three bedrooms and a box, as she calls it ) and since the arrival of harm’s fourth and final kid six years ago, and w/ nev being older, they converted the loft into an extra bedroom, so nev sleeps in the attic like a rat !

she’s a busy bee, tbh ! she works full time, has a herd of youngens to keep track of, loves cooking so makes nice hearty, homey meals almost every night, has a Very precise laundry routine, and she’s a creative lil fuck ?? really into bullet journaling but also making junk journals and loooooooves a scrapbook. 

she’s a very sort of No Nonsense lady. she just doesn’t have time or tolerance for bullshit anymore, life’s too short and she’s had enough shit thrown at her. 

however, her heart is Big. her life is dedicated to her kidsies, but she’s always known for taking in strays. a mate of her kids’ need to stay ? okay cool lemme grab you a blanket and the guest pj’s. her house is very Busy, like all the time. everyone is welcome at all times. friends over for dinner !!!! extra kids running around because harm is absolutely nuts and probably thought ava having three friends over would be fiiiine !

she has stats !

as well as a pinterest board !

CONNECTION IDEAS:

friends friends friends !!!

neighbours !!

friends thru their kids ?? her kids are 24, 21, 15, and 6, so if other folks have kids near those ages ! yeehaw !

youngens she’s basically adopted because she’s such a ‘your parents suck ? i’m your mum now’ person tbh.

harmony has such potential for angst and i’m always for it my guys. 

EXTRAS:

i know bayhaven exists in a wonderful world where the dreaded c-word ( no, not that one -- not that one either... ) doesn’t exist, but we’re sadly not so lucky, so i hope everybody is keeping well and looking after themselves, and that bayhaven can function as a nice distraction, as well as a creative outlet and something to fill the time !

i usually am a ‘i love rp icons, i love gif icons, i love gifs, use whatever and i’ll match’ kinda person, but two out of the three fc’s i’m using are ones i didn’t have a folder for before the rp, and keri has zero gif icons until i make some ! i’m workin’ on it ! but she’s beeeeautiful and has lots of gifs and some rp icons, and i’d be happy to make more in the future too, so we’re goin’ with it for now !

i’m a small text gal, but if you wanna make it bigger when reblogging our threads, you’ll get no complaints from me ! the only thing i ask is that bold/italic text is left alone and not reformatted, as they’re almost always used as ( in the wise words of josh peck ) emphasis, when it comes to me !

a bit too personal, but i’m actually currently coming off my adhd meds, and one of the things i’ve noticed, is that i find spotting typos harder and that kind of thing, so if we could just Bear With, i’d really appreciate it ! it also makes me forgetful as sin in the short-term, so again, please just !!! bear with !!! and patience is reaaaallly appreciated !

[ofkenneths]

OKAY so i actually have some info on my dumbfuck boy ken, so i’m way more prepared for this intro in comparison to the absolute serving of dust i gave y’all with winona... yikes. anyways ! once again feel free to lms for plots or w/e cos im open to anything and everything ~

ken’s pinterest: here !

content warnings: alcoholism, death, headassery

holy crap, is that THOMAS DOHERTY over there ? nevermind, it must be KENNETH FRASER, that COMMENTARY & COMEDY youtuber. isn’t it crazy that they’re TWENTY-FIVE and already have 3m subscribers? i heard that they’re known to be DETACHED, but also pretty MAGNETIC, just like a typical SCORPIO. ( lazy smiles hidden behind the glint of a silver flask, outlandish stories that you’re never sure are true or not & the longest day of the year )

OK so ! a little disclaimer first: i don’t know SHIT about scotland / scottish accents beyond what i’ve seen in outlander ok ! i really just be faking it til i make it so ! @ me if u want ~

moving on.. im gonna go off my previous setup and start with his personality cos lbr that’s what y’all really care abt ~ he’s a little shit ! a gd moron ! really goes out of his way to be obnoxious & charming UGH id like to strangle him.. think joey tribbiani mixed with cody ko… but with a horrendously unintelligible scottish accent (: he really be like that All The Time smh

not the smartest ?? your boy actually graduated from harvard with honors and yet ?? yeah he’s a little dumb but it’s chill cos he’s p much got .. no sense of embarrassment ? cannot recall a single moment of his life when he felt embarrassed or regretted doing/saying something so .. catch him making self-depreciating jokes on the daily. on the flip side tho .. if someone was gonna like constantly get on him abt it he might 100% get in his feelings and uhhh when he do.. that’s when fists start flying ? most cos he’s always on his way to a blackout binge ;)

on top of that he also has .. little to no sense of self-preservation .. will p much do absolutely anything even if it’s detrimental to his physical, mental or emotional health ! love that for him ! Makes Bad Choices, essentially ( makes rash & not-thought-out choices ). never says no to a dare, p much always dtf cos lbr his libido is .. out of control and i hate him ??? & ALWAYS willing to break a rule or twelve

& now for the fun part … he’s a functioning alcoholic ! Big Time ! at his happiest when intoxicated and will p much always have alcohol on him somehow ? he’s usually got a flask plus a buzz throughout the day sighs so smh ! honest to god he probably can’t remember the last time he was completely sober so uhhh that’s fun ig ?? the big thing is that it’s been going on for so long that his tolerance is so high he keeps needing more and more to stay buzzed .. so it’ll likely eventually … start to cause some real problems ……. would be wild if his subscribers found out *wink wink*

a phat hypocrite tho ! love it ! will literally get annoyed with people who lie and play games when thats .. all he do .. god he’s actually the spawn of the devil i want him dead

SHEW OK onto a little background ! grew up in edinburgh ( obvs, sighs ) with his parents who were both school teachers so his upbringing was p modest ?? p normal ??? honestly .. his life was super normal til he was twelve & his parents died in a hit & run when they were crossing the street :/ from then he had to live with his uncle who was … uhhh.. a Garbage Human Being lmao ! Basic rich businessman on his bullshit .. thinking he’s the absolute god of gods reincarnate.. manipulating women .. talking down to ken .. treating everyone like he was better than them .. yeah, just a general piece of shit tbh. definitely not happy to have a preteen suddenly in his charge so ken was like .. Fine ? i’ll do whatever the fuck i want then ? & basically … did everything he knew he shouldnt have done lol

the only thing he really stayed on top of was his grades in school cos it was his best chance of getting the absolute fuck away from his uncle for good and doing it without having to rely on the bastard’s money/connections blah blah whatever so even as he was acting like a fuckin’ fool, he was getting straight a’s & p much being on a first name basis with all his teachers BJOVN we love duality

it was all fun and reckless until he had a real brush with death when he was seventeen. he was fooling around with his buddies, drunk right off his ass, acting like a piece of shit & making a complete ass of himself when he found himself underneath the motorcycle he was driving so.. he ended up spending a good amount of time in the hospital & came out of it with a nasty scar through his left brow & three shattered fingers that wouldn’t ever heal properly ( he’s left handed but had to relearn how to write and do everything with his right hand after it all ).

after that he decided to get the hell out of dodge ( .. scotland ) and move to the states & honestly thank the lord he got accepted into harvard cos otherwise he’d have had to choose between cambridge and oxford, neither far enough away from his uncle & his past as he wanted to be so ((: my mans lucky ig !

in college he got rly close with the guys in his dorm + rushed a fraternity ( a BUSINESS one, not a fun one so he was not up in there partying and hazing poor, unsuspecting scholarship kids ) & that’s when he rly started to feel content with his life ?? all it took was a move to a foreign country and the power of brotherhood *rock n roll emoji* and yk.. booze !

anyways ~ he started his channel in college as a way to let out the absolute dumbass in himself in a constructive way that didn’t involve getting into fights or doing hard drugs lol it started out as a sort of vlog channel until he got tired of carrying a camera around all day and it just kinda naturally progressed into a commentary & comedy channel as he found sitting in front of a camera and talking absolute nonsense about other nonsense was kinda like his calling, even if he has to write a transcript for subtitles cos everyone complains abt not being able to understand him.. it’s fine don’t worry about it

he’s uhh p much having the time of his life, tho he uhh Does miss home something fierce ( but no worries he just drowns all that shit out with some aged whisky lol ! ) & lowkey wishes he didnt have to continuously drink himself into a stupor to get thru the day but here we are ;)

anyways im super tired of this intro lmao so just mssg me if u want any specific details ONFIJC & i dont have any specific wanted connections ? cos being unprepared is My Brand, so i’m down to brainstorm w/ everyone who wants a crack at my mans kenny ~

[earlgreyandadderall-blog]

What Does ADHD Look Like In Girls? - Things I Wish I Knew Ten Years Ago

Hello world!  

I'm back, as promised, and today I'm going to talk about some stuff I wish I knew ten years ago- ADHD symptoms that are common in girls but often get overlooked. Why, you may ask? Because a teacher or parent normally won't notice that a child is struggling unless it's very apparent – if she is extremely hyperactive and disruptive, for example – or if the child admits that they are struggling. That girl in the corner who's always daydreaming, but still gets good grades? Or the one who has a hard time making friends or making relationships work, but otherwise seems "normal" (whatever that means)? She's going to be passed over while her teacher is busy worrying about the boy who can't stay in his seat for more than five minutes. Plus, girls with ADHD are more likely than boys to internalize their struggles, so if you or your child is anything like me, you might not realize something is off until high school or even later, and even when you do, you might be too embarrassed to ask for help.

If anyone besides my mom ever starts reading this blog, one thing that would make me really really happy and feel as if I've made a difference is if even one young woman out there doesn't have to go through the failed relationships, ruined friendships, and lost semesters that I had to go through before she realizes something deeper is going on than just laziness and being emotional. If you're a girl who often feels like she's getting in her own way and suspects there might be something up, but aren't really sure what it might be, here are some often-overlooked ADHD symptoms that you might relate to.

1.   Daydreaming/Getting Bored in School

As long as I can remember, I've had a hard time paying attention in class. When I was very young, I would get called out for daydreaming all the time. I worked on my French homework in science class, flipped aimlessly through my agenda while the teacher was talking, and doodled all over ever single desk I've ever sat in. In grade five, I got in trouble for – get this – reading a book during a spelling test. Don't ask me how I thought I was gonna get away with that, but I was sooooooo booooooored and the teacher was taking soooooo loooooong to read these words that I knew how to spell in grade one. That's a big reason why inattentiveness in female students often gets overlooked- girls with ADHD don't usually perform poorly, especially in elementary school. Because I was gifted, my inattentiveness was treated as a quirk rather than a problem. I had a handful of teachers who tried to give me harder work to keep me motivated, but more often than not I was left to entertain myself. It always bothered me that kids who needed extra help got IEPs, the latest learning technologies, and one-on-one time with the teacher, but kids like me, who needed an extra challenge, were neglected

 2.     Impulsive Spending

The most important thing to keep in mind when analyzing the behaviour of people with ADHD is that our brains don't produce or transmit enough dopamine, which is the feel-good chemical that controls reward-motivated behaviour. Because of that, we seek out anything that will give us a dopamine rush... the only problem is that those behaviours are usually impulsive. You know the saying money can't buy happiness? Yeah, not necessarily true for ADHD brains. At least for a little while after buying something we've managed to convince ourselves we so totally need, we actually do feel really happy, because we're experiencing a dopamine high. My friend recently got me into doing my makeup properly, and I'm embarrassed to admit how much I've spent at Sephora in the last month.  I know it's dumb, but I do it anyway. Why? Because ADHD brains have a hard time distinguishing what is urgent from what is important. Once I get it in my head that I need that contour kit right now (because what if a surprise event comes up in the next week?), I can't convince myself otherwise. That sense of urgency releases dopamine, which tells my brain that wasting $60 to look more like the MUAs on Instagram will make me happy. And for an hour or two it does!... Until I look at my bank account.  

3.     Relationship Problems

So, dopamine rush-producing behaviours are usually impulsive, right? What does that look like when it comes to romantic relationships? Dopamine-seeking brains love anything that's new and novel, and that includes the first phase of a relationship, when you're sooooo in love and can't get enough of each other. Of course, that phase ends, and neurotypical people settle into a more lowkey relationship just fine. ADHD brains? Not so much. If you don't recognize what you're experiencing as a dopamine withdrawal, you may interpret it is a lack of love from your partner, or as a sign that the relationship is getting boring. I tend to fall into the first category, and people like me can become really insecure thinking that our partner doesn't care about us. We become excessively demanding and need dramatic displays of affection all the time, which naturally alienates our partners. If you're somebody who just gets bored, that can result in two unhealthy behaviours: one, moving really quickly from one relationship to the next and never learning how to be alone, and two, cheating. If any or all of these three behaviours are a pattern in your life, you just might have a dopamine shortage, and are unknowingly looking to your partner(s) to fix it.

4.    Word Vomit

It's really hard for me to explain my tendency to over-explain every little thing (ha, that's ironic), especially if I'm nervous about it. Have you ever taken seven sentences to say something that could have been said in one? Found yourself repeating the same thing in different words three times? I find I do this the most when I'm apologizing, or trying to explain why I did something that someone else didn't like or understand. You think you're being helpful, but really you're just annoying the other person. Then you realize how annoying you're being, and apologize for being annoying five times, and now they're annoyed with you for apologizing for being annoying... okay, that's when you know it's time to turn your phone off and cool down. On top of excessive explaining, ADHD brains can get a little word vomit-y when we're talking about something we're passionate about. Just ask my mom- get me on the Israeli occupation of Palestine, or, at the moment, information about ADHD, and you won't get me off it. Sometimes we don't really know when to shut up. If you have a tendency to keep talking even when you know nobody is listening anymore, then you might want to keep reading.

5.    Road Rage

Everybody road rages once in a while (okay, I'm told that not everyone does, but I don't believe it. Come on, how can you NOT scream at the person in front of you going 5 km under the speed limit?) but I legitimately feel claustrophobic and panicky if I'm on a four-lane highway stuck behind a car in each lane going the same speed and I can't get out to pass them. If the person in front of me is doing something stupid, I could literally run them over I get so frustrated, and not just if I'm already cranky- I yell at someone on the road every single day. I'm told this is “apparently” because of our “inattentiveness” and “inability to sit still”, and not because everyone else on the road is a freaking idiot. I don't know if I believe it, but that's what I'm told, anyway. ADHD brains are also more likely to get into car accidents. I've never been in a major accident while driving, thank God, but I'm only 22, and I've had four minor fender benders that, embarrassingly, didn't involve other cars, but me driving into things in parking lots. Once, I just wasn't looking behind me and backed into a pole. Another time, I thought that texting in the Tim Hortons drive-thru was a good idea. You get the idea.

6.   Forgetfulness

Again, everybody forgets things once in a while. But if you're forgetting or misplacing your homework, your car keys, your purse, your work pants (yes, I have actually lost a pair of pants before) every single day, then there might be a problem. Once, I parked my car near campus, spent the day studying in my friends' office, and then got a ride back to my car at the end of the day. My friend Dan was driving up and down the street I told him I had parked on asking me "is that your car? What about that one?" before I realized that I had parked on a different street on the other side of campus. I never thought being a bit scatterbrained was a problem, and if it only happens once in a while, it probably isn't. But all of these symptoms together paint a different picture.

7.    Difficulties With Motivation

I never really enjoyed studying, and I guess I was lucky that throughout grade school and high school, I didn't have to do very much of it. It's not that I didn't like learning, it's just that studying for extended periods of time is so boring. Even in my first three years of university, my super strict immigrant parents watched me like a hawk, so I did what I needed to do, as difficult as it was at times. That all changed when my fourth year rolled around and I moved to Ottawa for an exchange. With no one to stand at the foot of my bed and scream at me until I dragged myself out of it, I just... didn't. It wasn't because I didn't want to, it was just that I couldn't bring myself to. Same went for going to class, doing my readings, handing in assignments, showing up for exams... it wasn't pretty. This can also be a symptom of depression, and many people with ADHD, myself included, meet the diagnostic criteria for depression. The difference is that people with depression can't get out of bed because they're depressed; people with ADHD get depressed because they won't get out of bed.  We aren't lying in bed all day because our mood is low, but because we struggle with executive functioning - motivation, planning, organizing, and self-managing. Those things happen in the prefrontal cortex, and ours are underdeveloped. It can be hard to distinguish where the cycle begins for you, and before being diagnosed, I thought I had depression for sure, but as soon as my psychiatrist explained how ADHD works to me, it fit like a glove.

8.     Starting Projects and Never Finishing Them

This kind of goes hand in hand with lack of motivation, and it's something I've struggled with all my life. It's also one of the very few ADHD symptoms that isn't also a hallmark of something else, like depression or anxiety, so it should be a huge red flag if it's accompanied by some of these other symptoms! Most people tend to procrastinate things they don't want to do, like studying or cleaning their room. A big indicator that you might be dealing with something more than just laziness is when you procrastinate or don't finish even things you actually really want to do. And it's not because you're lazy or don't want to do it, it's because as great as it sounds, you just... can't. If you've ever started a scrapbook and tossed it to the side three days later, tried to start a club on campus but let it fall to the wayside, or created a blog then never actually updated it (I meant to have this posted a solid five days ago, whooooops), then you know what I'm talking about.

 9.       Being Scatterbrained

You're in the middle of a sentence and you completely lose your train of thought. Alternatively, you'll be halfway through a sentence then think of something more important that you want to say and totally abandon the idea you're halfway through and start talking about the new one instead. You interrupt people a lot, because you feel like you HAVE to say the thought that just popped into your head right now, lest it no longer be relevant if you wait five minutes, or even worse, you forget it again in 30 seconds. You're in the middle of an important text conversation but you open Instagram while you're waiting for them to text back... then half an hour later you're creeping your crush's ex's brother's best friend when you realize you never answered that super important text. You zone out while people are speaking directly to you, which makes you look super rude because it seems like you aren't paying attention. Our inability to focus hard on things can affect our lives in ways you never would have guessed- for example, I am terrible at proofreading and finding typos, and the number of assignments I've handed in with words missing from the middle of sentences is embarrassing. If this sounds like you (and if course, if this happens all day every day rather than once in a blue moon, because everybody get scatterbrained when they're overwhelmed), then you've come to the right place.

10.     Being SUPER Enthusiastic... Sometimes

We've already established that ADHD brains can have trouble with motivation and with staying committed to something long-term, but that doesn't capture the entire picture. If you think of depression as basically always being in a low state, ADHD is different in that you sort of swing from highs to lows and back again. Like I mentioned, ADHD brains don't have enough dopamine transmitters, and we kind of get addicted to anything that does produce a dopamine high. So if something does make us happy or excited, we're gonna be the happiest, most excited people on earth. My psychiatrist gave me a situation where an ADHD person might win $5 on a scratch off ticket, but the way they jump up and down all excited makes the people around them think they've won a million dollars. In my case, this often looks like getting really excited about a paper or assignment for a class I'm particularly interested in. I'll take out books from the library and hyper-focus on planning the assignment for about three days... then the whole "starting a project but never finishing it" kicks in, and that's a whole different story...

11.    Verbal Aggression (As Opposed to Physical Aggression)

Although I don't mean to generalize or to imply that every single boy or girl is the same, this tends to be a notable difference between girls with ADHD and their male counterparts. Girls are much less likely to be physically violent, but when you piss us off, or trigger our Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (that's what my next post is going to be about, by the way!)… watch out. You might get a verbal beatdown like you've never experienced before. This is one of the ugliest and most frustrating things about having ADHD for me. I'll tell the people I love that I hate them, that they're ruining my life, that I wish they were never born; I'll pick on the things I know they're sensitive about and call them every curse word in the book... only to regret it five minutes and sheepishly try to convince this deeply wounded person that I didn't actually mean it. It sucks. Big time.

And finally, the one I really wish I knew all this time...

12.    Being Diagnosed With Something Else

Throughout this post, I've given a dozen examples of the ways ADHD symptoms can appear like symptoms of depression and anxiety. ADHD in girls is notoriously misdiagnosed, and girls with ADHD are three times as likely as boys to be treated for depression before being properly diagnosed. Beyond that, ADHD can be comorbid with anxiety and depression. I've dealt with anxiety and panic attacks since I was eight, and was formally diagnosed with anxiety at 17. When I was diagnosed with ADHD, I was told that I meet all the diagnostic criteria for depression, but it was likely that treating my ADHD would make it go away. My depression went away within literally one week of starting ADHD medication. My anxiety did not go away, but it has been reduced by about 50%. I realized that about half of the somatic experiences I identified as panic attacks were not triggered by mental anxiety but by sensory overload because, as ADHD brains do, I was perceiving way too much of what was going on around me and getting overwhelmed to the point that I would experience panic attack symptoms- dizziness, shortness of breath, nausea, you know the drill. Another statistic that would have made a difference in my life is that girls with ADHD are 2.7 times more likely to suffer from anorexia nervosa than girls without ADHD. I struggled with anorexia from age 16 to 19, so this was quite a shock to discover three years later. There's definitely some cool brain science behind that why that is, so maybe it'll be the subject of a future post!

 If you have any questions about this post, or think that you or a loved one might be dealing with ADHD, do not hesitate to reach out to me with any questions! I also want to stress that this might seem like a lot, and that anyone dealing with all of this crap would stand out from a mile away, but if that was the case, so many of us wouldn’t go undiagnosed until post-secondary. I experienced all twelve of these signs and symptoms, but the only ones that pushed me to see a psychiatrist were relationship problems, difficulty with motivation, and verbal aggression. Most of these things didn’t seem like they were impacting my day-to-day functioning- I get good grades, have a job, and have no trouble making friends. So please don’t get fall into the trap of telling yourself that what you’re going through “isn’t bad enough to be a real problem.” If something feels off, see a doctor, because you deserve to live the best life possible. 

That’s all for now folks! Stay tuned for my next post about Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.

[kadywicker]

inifnity war spoilers ahead please leave now if u dont wanna see em

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you had WARNING

anyway heres a rough outline of my thought process thru the movie from what i can remember 

a dude walked in wearing a justice league shirt and it was the biggest power move of the evening

rip heimdall u truly were the hottest bitch in the mcu

i already saw the spoilers that loki died but im still in mourning. my chaotic twink son :( also him tearing up when thor was getting tortured was like, possibly, one of the worst things to happen to me this evening. and his “you will never be a god” and “we will see the sun rise again yet, brother” like i’d rather be dead.

wheres valkyrie you fucking bitches

i know marvel has been trying to make me care about pepper and tony for like.... the entirety of the mcu and in theory i enjoy it but in reality i just heavily do not care

walked into this w out watching dr strange bc i refuse to so seeing him was very unpleasant for me :/

the second that one fuckin... servant of thanos guy showed up that tony called squidward i just burst into fucking laughter bc oh my fucking god. he looks like one of the star wars prequels aliens. i didnt know how i was supposed to react to that??? what the fuck????? kin? 

at least this time tony attempted to get peter away from the fight ig??? also like okay i kno its a running gag but did the russos have to make peter reference old movies like what 3 times in this movie and once in their last one like please..... Please. its done. its over! 

look...... look. look! look. i have made MULTIPLE posts on this website about how ugly i think chris evans is. especially when hes got his weird short, spiky hair. ive made this very VERY clear. i thought i was clear on this, myself. but let me tell u the fuck what when steven grant rogers showed up covered in complete darkness and caught a spear that moves at the speed of light w no hesitation and then stepped out of the shadows i only had one thought: please raw me

also i still dont care about wanda and vision but did wandas accent get slightly less bad or is this just exposure

drax’s reaction to thor was um. Me. also it was this scene that made me realize that ppl saying that the russos reset thor to his previous characterization and that he was nothing like ragnarok thor i....????? hm???? idk i thought he was p in character from what we saw in ragnarok? like did u all expect him to be super light and happy go lucky immediately after his entire planet died and his brother died too like. what.... did u Want. hes still not as grimdark as dark world and he still has the ragnarok vibes but w added “Lifes a Fucking Nightmare So Im Going to Joke Until Someone Murders Me :)” which is just honest to god me, so

oh also in an above part when tony pulled out a flip phone to call steve the dude next to me loudly hissed “what? a fucking flip phone-?” and his wife shushed him. i wanted to lean over and inform him that it was the phone from civil war and if hed been paying ATTENTION he wouldve known that

things arent going to be in much order after this bc im tired and its all a big jumble in my adhd brain but thats okay. its been 6 years and i still couldnt tell u the entire plot of the avengers, so.

tbh the effects in this movie were really fucking gorgeous like.... all the different planets’ scenery was so goddamn beautiful. like idk how to spell it so im not gonna attempt but the planet that gamora died on was literally so fucking pretty i was stunned into a silence what the FUCK was that beautiful nonsense

not enough steve and bucky interaction bc marvels personally out to get me, a known gay

i cant believe buckys a fucking goat farmer like ohfa sdfhadof ?????? just let the man feed his goats in PEACE 

didnt love the whole “thanos really loved gamora” bit but like it makes sense ig. if thats what he thought love was? altho that definitely doesnt mean she loves him or shouldve ever forgiven him bc uuuh Yikes. anyone w abusive parents knows that kind of possessive, overbearing love. and it might be some fucked up twisted form of it but it aint good.

but whoever they casted as baby gamora was spot on? 

when red skull lifted his hood i literally whispered “oh my god” and the lady next to me started laughing at me. 

also while there was a good amount of fighting i rlly appreciated that it wasnt All Fighting and just there to show off that they had cool special effects. like.... it was mostly story and for someone who doesnt give a shit abt action sequences it was v relieving that i didnt have to parse through 2 and a half hours of watching someone do cool but impractical stunts 

man idc abt wanda and dont like mcu natasha bc of the actress but when that chick was like “youll die alone” and natasha said “shes not alone” and then kicked ass i rlly just. hm. thats lesbian.

anyone else agree that when strange said mournfully that there was only one outcome and then said that giving up the time stone was the only way, its basically just telling us that this was all planned and it Will work out fine bc he knew that this was the one path that would lead to them winning. like..... im at least 99% sure thats whats going to happen, here.

steve and bucky may have said 2 sentences to each other but steve reaching out to grab a handful of buckys ashes w a stricken look was literally the worst moment of my entire life and i plan to sue marvel for emotional damages bc that was fucking terrible and i cannot BELIEVE they made me watch that idc if bucky comes back im fuckin pissed

also thats literally every team iron man member to realize that the accords were bullshit and if its 2018 and u still think the accords were right/a good thing i honestly do not know what to tell you

fuckin..... im lookin at captain marvels powers and shes cool and all but hows she gonna save all this........ now im even more curious abt what her movies gonna bring like ???? hello??????

also the only time the theater clapped or cheered was when steve showed up and literally same

i know all the dust ppl r coming back but alsof uc kin......... that was brutal

idk i dont have much 2 add im very sleepy but

i liked it a lot and im excited for the next movie. there were some things that i thought were in poor taste but like..... thats what i expect from every marvel movie, so. im pleasantly surprised by how good this was. idk why but during it it kinda like.... it had the same vibes as return of the king????? like i dont know Why but it has a very.... lotr movie feel to it. but w the staple marvel jokes. idk how to feel about that. i think its good? im not sure. get back to me in a few days after the movie highs worn off and if i still like it then its got my stamp of approval. 

[waywardnerd67]

Writing Your Story: Chap. 1 - Took You Long Enough

Summary: When Raelyn Nichols was approached to continue writing the Supernatural series she never knew how her world would one-day flip completely upside down when she meets the characters from her books the famous Winchester Brothers. Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel and Raelyn Nichols (OFC) Pairing: Dean X Raelyn (OFC) Warnings: All the fluff. Word Count: 2621 A/N: Alright ladies and gents, here is the first chapter of my first ever series! I’m incredibly excited and scared pantless. If you find any mistakes please let me know, since I edited this chapter roughly around 2AM EST. I will be updating this series weekly probably on Saturday. Let me any thoughts and opinions you have on this including constructive criticism (all hate can be deposited into your local trash can). Above all, thank you for reading what I write and for all the support. Tagging A Few Lovelies Who Inspire Me To Keep Writing: @waywardbaby @rosethesupernaturalhunter @carryonmywaywardcaptain @anotherwaywardsister @ladywinchester1967

Raelyn Nichols smiled as a mom took a picture of her daughter with her. “Thank you, Miss Nichols.” The little girl said. Raelyn smiled sweetly at her, “You’re welcome.” Raelyn sighed as she sat back down behind her booth. Raelyn’s rise to stardom was unusual and no one knew the true story except for Raelyn, a special angel friend and Chuck Shirley, as known as, God. Chuck was a fan of Raelyn’s novels and asked her to continue writing his series Supernatural. At first, Raelyn, thought it was a joke but once Chuck revealed his true identity who could say no to God. The last three years, she had been cranking out books every six to eight months. Now she did book events along with comic conventions taking pictures and signing autographs.

“Raelyn Nichols?” Raelyn looked up from her phone into the stunning olive-green eyes of the gorgeous man from her dreams. She smiled at him, “Dean Winchester, took you long enough to find me.” He looked at her dumbfounded as his younger brother came up behind him. “Ah, Sam Winchester. Well, now that the Scooby gang is all here I’m assuming you found out that I am writing Supernatural. Can this conversation wait until after the convention? I am kind of working here.” Sam looked to Dean just as dumbfounded. “How do you know about us? Our lives?” Dean’s voice was stern and husky. His voice was just as Raelyn had dreamed it would be.

“Look, I promise I will explain everything to you pretty boy. I’m not running or going anywhere. Here,” Raelyn handed them all access passes, that had been meant for her best friend and her boyfriend, to the convention, “you can go anywhere within the convention. There is quite the spread of food back in reception if you both are hungry.” Dean perked up a bit as Sam looked over to him rolling his eyes. “You will meet us in the reception area as soon as you’re done.” Sam said as Raelyn looked behind the taller Winchester. A line was forming behind them, “Yes, I’m not going anywhere. Chuck told me one day you would find me. That day is today. Now go before my line gets any longer.” The brothers looked behind them seeing quite a few people dressed as them and with Supernatural books in their hands.

Sam and Dean stepped to the side and watched Raelyn as she talked with fans, signed books and took pictures. Sam decided to go walk around the convention since he had never been to one before and saw a few Star Wars actors he would love to meet. Dean couldn’t bring himself to move from Raelyn’s booth. There was something about her that instantly drew him into her. She was beautiful which is obviously what caught his attention first. She had long wavy chocolate brown hair, tall curvy body and porcelain skin. The two features that made Dean weak in the knees were her brilliant forest green eyes that bore into him like no one ever had before and her soft full rosy lips just begging to be kissed.

He watched her interact with fans as she would smile for pictures and even posing ridiculously with some of them. She glanced over to him and motioned for him to come over behind the booth. She pulled out a stool from under her table and patted it. “Sit. I’d rather you sit here and chat than stand there and stare.” He chuckled as he sat next to her. Another fan came up, “Wow he looks just like Dean in the books. That is exactly how I pictured him.” Raelyn laughed as Dean shifted uncomfortably. “I know, me too, that is why I picked him as the winner of a local contest. He won the chance to be with me all day. He’s one of my biggest fans.” Dean gave her a pointed looked as the teenage girl looked to him with admiration. “Wow, you’re so lucky. Would it be okay to get a picture with the both of you?” Dean started to shake his head but Raelyn tugged on his jacket. “Of course, you can, Robert here would be honored to take a picture with you.” Raelyn dragged him in front of the table and the fan stood in between them. Emma, convention worker assigned to Raelyn, took the picture and the fan hugged them both before walking away. Dean was chuckling as they sat back down and no one was at Raelyn’s booth. “So, how long are you usually here at these conventions?” Raelyn looked at her phone, “I’m usually here for three days, Friday thru Sunday, all day. I’ve got another hour or so before I can pack up. A lot of fans are starting to leave now so I may be able to leave early. Why? You got a hot date?” Dean smirked, “Yeah, I do. I have a date with a good-looking author who knows more about me than I do her.”

Raelyn felt her cheeks burning. “Why Dean Winchester are you flirting with me?” She looked at him above her black rimmed glasses. She watched as a devious smirk came across his handsome face. Seeing Dean Winchester in her dreams or visions was one thing but him in person was a whole another story. His sandy brown hair looked soft and his broad muscular body was hidden under layers of denim, cotton and flannel. She watched as he ran his large hands over his muscular thighs driving her crazy. However, it was his eyes, his olive-green steal your soul eyes, that made her lose all train of thought. He noticed her sizing him up and his smirked turned into a smile. She was staring at his lips now as he ran his tongue over the bottom one trapping it under his teeth. Her eyes got wide and he saw her breath hitch. “What if I am, Raelyn? Is that okay with you?” he asked as she fidgeted with her hair twirling it between her fingers. “I wouldn’t hate it, but I’m not really your type.” Dean looked down at his hands nervously quickly being reminded why he was there next to her in the first place. “You really do know everything about us, huh? Every thought or feeling we have?” Raelyn sighed, “I can’t read your mind if that is what you’re asking. But yeah, I know pretty much everything about you two. Including that you tend to go after ladies who a few sizes smaller than I am and wear more provocative clothing.” Dean’s smile faded as he ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I’m not really a great guy when it comes to having something more than a one-night stand.” Raelyn looked at him about to say something when he spoke again, “Probably best if you just stayed away from me, Raelyn.” He got up walking away from her table. Raelyn sighed as another fan approached her. Raelyn finished up the last few autographs and pictures then she packed up her personal items walking towards reception.

Raelyn found the brothers sitting at a table waiting for her. Sam was holding a few pictures that were autographed as Dean was giving him a disapproving look. She walked up to them, “Come on. We can go back to my place and talk. It’s warded against… well everything so it’s safe there.” Sam and Dean followed her outside where it had started to rain. “Well, where’s your beautiful Impala at? I don’t feel like walking in the rain even if it is only a few blocks.” Dean pointed across the street and she smiled seeing the car. “Oh Baby, you are more than I could have ever dreamed.” She said admiring the car. Dean could not help the smile on his face as she admired his pride and joy. “She’s unlocked.” He stated simply as they all got in. As he drove down the street, Raelyn was humming her praises to his Baby. Her humming was driving him crazy. Sam turned to her, “Do you need a moment alone with the Impala?” Raelyn looked up at Dean through the rearview mirror, “Sure, just park it and leave it running. I’ll be done in ten minutes.” She laughed as she watched both men’s shocked expressions and subtly smile on Dean’s face. She directed them to her condo and lead them up to it. She sat down her bag and curiously watched Sam and Dean look around her home. “You have quite the collection of comics and memorabilia.” Sam said in awe as he looked over her collectables. “Thank you, I am quite the nerd. So, please make yourselves comfort.” Raelyn went into her kitchen to grab a couple beers from her fridge for Sam and Dean. She also grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass for herself. She walked back into her living room seeing the boys had taken off their jackets and were sitting on her couch. She handed them the beers and then sat in her favorite chair pouring herself a drink.

“Before we get this started we need one more person to join us.” She picked up her phone and sent a text message. A couple of minutes later, there was a knock on her door. “Come on in!” Raelyn shouted. A tall man came walking in with dark brown hair and blue eyes like the ocean wearing a trench coat. “Cas?!” The brothers said at the same time as Raelyn chuckled loving it when they spoke in unison. The beautiful angel nodded as he sat on the couch next to Dean. “You two know each other?” Dean asked looking pointedly at Cas. “Yes, Dean I was asked to watch over her when Chuck left. How did you two find out about Raelyn?” he asked as Dean scoffed. “Claire found her books online and then passed it along to us. Better question is why didn’t you tell us about this?” Sam asked. Raelyn poured herself another drink as Dean whispered over to her, “You got another glass?” She snickered getting up and getting him one.

In the kitchen she could still hear all of them talking. As she walked back out she poured Dean a drink and then shut them all up, “Alright! Let’s just get this over with.” The three men looked up at her and nodded. Dean downed his drink and quickly refilled it. “Start from the beginning, Raelyn.” Sam stated as she settled into her chair. “I knew Carver Edlund or Chuck Shirley from different conventions and our agents were from the same company. Anytime we would talk he would mention how he loved my novels and I equally loved his.” She paused for a moment taking a drink. “A few years ago, he showed up here and asked if we could talk. He explained he was leaving for a while and would love it if I would continue writing Supernatural. Of course, being a huge fan, I agreed and he had all the rights transferred to me. That is when he told me the truth about the books.” Raelyn poured another drink for Dean when he finished the second one. “He was God, the books were real life events, Sam and Dean Winchester were real brothers saving people and hunting things.”

Sam scoffed, “What made you believe him?” Raelyn chuckled thinking back on the day that changed her life forever. “He touched my forehead and suddenly I saw everything that had happened in the books. I saw your lives from the day you were born. He showed me his true face bright light and all. He told me that I would have dreams of what I needed to write. Kind of like Sam’s premonitions but not as painful and no psychic powers.” She noticed Sam flinch and Dean gave him a weary look. “Look, I didn’t ask to have all of this. I thought I would just be writing a series of books based off his notes not the real-life tales of ghostbusting. I know I wouldn’t want someone knowing my entire life story and airing it out to the world.” Dean turned towards her, “Then why do you continue to write the books?” She sighed finishing her drink and setting the glass down. “The main reason is because God… literal God told me too. I think it’s important to follow what he says, don’t you think? Also, your story brings a lot of hope and inspiration into millions of lives who believe they are hopeless and meaningless to this world. I believe if my books or your story can impact one person’s life then it is worth continuing to tell the story.”

“How did you meet Cas then?” Castiel smirked slightly as she chuckled, “It was a rough start. At conventions I have some enthusiastic fans which Cas thought were trying to harm me. First time, I ever saw him, he ran off a bunch of fans that were cosplaying as demons.” Castiel shrugged slightly, “I followed Raelyn for weeks before then. I believed she was in danger and did not know humans would dress up for fun as demons.” Sam and Dean started laughing. Raelyn loved seeing them laugh since most of the time she only witnessed them fighting or hurt in her dreams. “Are you working on a new book now?” Sam asked as he finished his beer. Raelyn looked from one brother to the next and shook her head, “Not currently. I am just promoting the current book ‘Tombstone’ which was a bitch to get titled since there’s a movie titled that as well.” Raelyn nervously looked up at the three men to see if they bought her lie. Castiel was the only one looking at her curiously but Sam and Dean took her word for it. “So, now what?” she asked. Dean stood up stretching his tall, muscular body. Raelyn bit her bottom lip admiring the way his muscles contracted as he moved his arms above his head.

“Now, we leave our numbers for you and if you have any more dreams then you call us.” Dean took out a piece of paper from a journal he kept in his jacket pocket. He wrote his and Sam’s numbers down handing it to her. Briefly, their fingers touched and she felt an electric current run up her arm. A wonderful chill ran down her back and looking up she could see he had felt it as well. His eyes wide and darken as he gazed down at her. He opened his mouth to say something but simply trapped his tongue between his teeth driving Raelyn crazy. She shook her head slightly as Sam cleared his throat, “Alright, well we should get going.” Raelyn followed the brothers to her door waving goodbye and closing it once they were down the hall. She took a deep breath in and slowly released it as she leaned up against the door. “Raelyn, why did you not tell them about writing a new book?” Castiel asked as she cleaned up the boys’ bottles and glass. “No one should know too much about their own future especially the Winchesters.” She looked sternly at her angel friend, “You won’t tell them about it as well. You know how they will react and there is no need to add fuel to the fire.” Castiel nodded apprehensively. “Good, now pop out here so I can take a shower, write and go to bed.” With a whooshing sounding Castiel was gone and Raelyn settled herself at her desk. She powered on her laptop and pulled up her newest manuscript entitled, “Wayward Sisters”.

[oppatxtme]

Jay Park: One Smile

x Jay Park x

Note: Read at Your Own Risk ~~ (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง Type: One Shot Word Count: 1,881 [ masterlist ]

 You arrived from work, drained with all the work. You checked your watch when you settled your self on your couch.

  It was only five in the afternoon, at least you still have an hour to spare before your best friend will be there to pick you up for dinner at the usual place.

  You're about to close your eyes while massaging your temple when suddenly you heard your door know twitching and not long after that the door vomit your best friend - Cath.

  You remained your eyes shot.

  "Don't you think you're an hour early?"

  "Ohmooo Y/N! You won't believe what Imma 'bout to say!" she said.

You opened your eyes and you can see her squealing, and almost forcing herself not to scream that she really failed to do so.

  Maybe she caught Minsik on one of his live again. Or he liked her comment on his post. You smiled with that thought while you continue watching her.

  "Just spill it out Cath so I can understand why you're like that." you send impatiently. You are tired and hungry so your brain can't really handle more of this mind games.

  "Well, you remember the contest you and I entered when we learned that Jay Park will be having a gig here in London together with his crew?" she asked.

  "The one with backstage passes?" you confirm if your thinking is correct.

  "Yeah, yeah that one!" she replied. "And guess what ~ YOU WON!" she shouted and screamed.

  You were unsure about what she just said for all you understand was her screaming. But then again, did she just said that you won?

  That means... you can get to see Jay Park, up close and personal?!

  'As in Park Jeabum?! Jay Park?! The one you only sees thru your monitor and mobile screen?!'

  "You're playing with me, aren't you?!" you said, almost shout at her with a mixture of excitement in your voice.

  "I am not!" she said.

  "What the fudge! I wasn't dreaming, right?! I can't be. Or if I was, hell I don't want to wake up!" you said as you join her jumping all over your living room.

  "You sure aren't. We're going to see AOMG and H1GHR MUSIC!" and the both of you screamed some more.

  Never in your life that you ever wished for a day to past by so fast until now. You just can't wait for the next year.

      Showtime!

  Till now, out of thousands of screaming fans who entered their name on that contest, your name was picked.

  Beside the backstage pass, you also have VIP tickets for the show itself. You can't help but scream all the feels inside you.

  Usually, they do the meet and greet before the show, but they announced that it will be after. Unlike you, Cath seems bothered about it, its something about her not looking fresh anymore and you just laugh.

  "Ain’t a party without us

Ain’t a party without us"

  You and Cath sang along to the song. That would be the last song for the night.

  The crew thanked everyone who came and went off stage.

  The staff of the event guides us on our way to the backstage. As we went inside, you notice that there're only a few of you - less than 10 who are picked for the backstage.

  Thinking that you can be in the same room with Jay Park and the others made your whole body shaking. You were excited, yet nervous at the same time.

  As your group made your way, you can hear laughs and someone speaking on Korean. You're heart starts beating fast when you recognize that high pitched voice in the end.

  "Hello there," Cath greeted them, that made them turned to where you'll stand.

  You almost can't believe that Cath manages to draw the first word in front of them. You're really proud of her since she can form a sensible sentence, unlike you who remains quiet.

  "Here they are! The nine lucky girls," Minsik said.

  They all came together to give us a handshake and hug.

  'Am I dreaming? Am I dead somewhere? Really? The AOMG crew with H1GHRMusic crew are hugging me!'

  You're not trying anymore but you're forcing yourself not to scream and keep all your fangirling inside you and just enjoy the moment.

  "You guys are amazing!" the other girl said.

  They all replied with 'Thank you'.

  "Hey," a familiar voice greeted you as you were left alone standing while the others are busy talking to the crew.

  "Hello Jay Park," you managed to say.

  "Hi there, and it's Jay. Thank you for watching the show, and you are?" he said.

  'OMFG! The Jay Park was asking for my name!'

  "Y/N," you replied simply.

  You turned to his eyes. He was staring back at you. Those eyes that you always admire. His lips that you always find the most adorable you have ever seen.

  He held your left hand and dragged you to the nearest couch not far away from where the others are.

  The both of you chatted about random things for a good fifteen minutes that you really didn't notice until one of the staff called their attention that they needed to go.

  "Can I have your number?" he asked.

  You looked at him in shock. 'Is he asking for my number?'

  He reached for his phone and handed it to you when he saw that you're not responding with a smirk on his handsome face.

  You can't remember how you manage to place your number on his phone, but you remember how your hand was shaking.

  "Thank you! I'm going now, I'll text you some time!"

  Before he went off and join the others, he flashes you the smile of his and without any warning, he shot you with his deadly wink.

     Months later.

  "You've been glancing at your phone for like every minute!" Cath stated when the both of you decide to chill at your place since it's a Saturday afternoon.

  "What? I'm waiting for an important message, so butt off."

  "From who?" she asked with her eyebrow arched.

  Jay and you have been texting for the past month. You haven't told her that Jay got your number. She might just die if she knew.

  "From work." you lied, and she rolled her eyes as a response.

  Just then, your phone lightens up, you reached for it right away, and before you was able to check who it was, Cath grabbed it from your hand.

  "Oh, my bloody hell! Jay Park just texted my best friend!" she said in amusement.

  "Shut up. I promised him not to tell anyone," you told her.

  "Well technically you didn't tell me, so you'll be fine. But," she looked at your phone again. "Apparently, he's asking you to mee -- DaFudge! He's asking you to meet him!" she said, with squeal on her voice.

  You took your phone and looked at it yourself.

  **You free? Meet me at the part @ 7PM. See you there.**

  You and Jay haven't met since the show, he tells you all about their tours and you knew how he plans to drop by to see you before they finally go back to Seoul.

  Butterflies were roaming on your stomach. You still can't over the fact that Jay just asked you to meet him.

  You glanced at your watch.

  "It's past 5pm?!" you said in shock that made Cath stop with her own squeal.

  "It's fine, what's the use of me being here. You have to prepare now." Cath said with a smug on her face.

  She dragged you to your room and opened your closet. She flipped through your clothes.

  "What do I wear?" you asked her as you sit on the edge of your bed.

  She looked at you and rolled her eyes. She then pulled out a dress which you haven't worn for almost a year. It was a thick strapped blue dress that ends just right above your knees.

  She quickly helps you to prepare yourself, she advises you to match the dress with the flats you bought last month. She even manages to curl your hair.

  "You're bloody gorgeous!" she exclaimed upon seeing your final getup.

  "Uhmm, thanks?" you said with an awkward smile. Still can't believe what's about to happen.

  "You better go now. You'll be late!" she said, she seems more excited that you were.

  You smiled at her and grabbed your purse and headed out. You decided to just walk your way to the park to calm yourself.

  Suddenly you felt the cool breeze hitting your skin.

  You arrived at the park almost 20 minutes late.

  'Where on earth was he?'

  You roam around, passed through the playground where cute little kids play. This is really a large park.

  'Why would he want us to meet here?'

  You're about to pass by some mini stage where some performers do their stunts for the public when something caught your eye.

  You looked at the side of the stage where some of the people gathered. Your feet seemed to have its own mind and walk towards the stage.

  "It’s just you and me

I don’t ever wanna

let u go no no"

  You don't know how, and you're sure you didn't tell him that what he's singing now is your ever favorite songs of him.

  As you walk closer, you can see that his attention was on the little kids who are all smile watching him.

  'So he's singing for the kids... how lovely,'

  You remind standing not far from where he was. Then as if he felt your stare, he gazes at you. And the both of you smiled at each other.

  "Having a concert at the park?" you teased when he manages to come near you.

  "I can do it every day... if it was for you," he replied, making you blush.

  He took your hand and lift up your chin, you're looking directly at his eyes.

  "Y/N, I'll only say this once, so please listen," he said softly.

  It was as if you were hypnotized by his gaze, you just nodded.

  "You're beautiful. Everything about you is. I know I haven't given much time for you, wait let me rephrase that – I’ll spend every minute for you, but not with you. If you ask me, that doesn't matter at all. What matters is that I like you - I really do. Please, give me a chance, and I assure you, I'll spend the rest of my life proving that to you."

  You just stared at him. How can you possibly form any sensible sentence right now?!

  "Are you willing to spend the rest of your life with me?" he then asked still eyes locked on you.

  "O—of course. I would like to." you manage to say in a low tone, enough for him to hear.

  His eyes widened and his lips formed a smile.

 That perfect smile. That smile you always wanted to wake up to. That smile you always adored. That smile that can lighten up your day. That same smile that you only dreamt to be shared just for you. That smile which made you fall for him since day one.

[ masterlist ]

A/N: Hope y’all like this guys.. just to make out for the delayed update on Christian Yu’s Whats On Sight.  I’ll update it as soon as the misa de gallo finished i guess hahaha ~

[harlsquinns-blog]

SAVING DICK || CHATZY

SUMMARY: Harley, Selina, and Jonathan fight The Court of Owls. They also go to Batburger. TRIGGERS: Violence. WRITTEN BY: @harlsquinns, @fromselinakyles​ & @thegooddoctorcrane​

Selina: Selina hated cars but it was the only mode of transportation that would get them to Gotham efficiently. Motorcycles were her preferred method and as she sat in traffic, she confirmed the reason why. "Imagine if they were expecting us? God..." She ran a hand through her hair, the other on the wheel, eyes on the road. They had all been relatively quiet which was nice but also strange. She was used to a chatty Harley and well, when she was alone with Jon, they had plenty to talk about. She looked over her shoulder and beside her with a small smile. "The GPS said it should be another twenty minutes. Are we doing okay?"

Jonathan: Johnathan sighed from his place in the backseat. He, unfortunately, got shoved in the back by Harley, who called shotgun before they even saw the car. Which goes against the rules, but who cares. He slumped over, not happy to be confined in the back as if he were in the BatMobile. It was awkwardly silent in the car, despite Selina's attempts to start conversation. "I'm doing just dandy." Jon said from behind his mask, happy neither of the other people in the car could see him roll his eyes.

Harley: Harley was content to be in the front seat, sitting next to Selina. It was probably unfair to call shotgun and make Jon go in the back, but she was still feeling a little bitter towards him for not immediately telling her he had kissed her best friend. She smirked when he spoke up, knowing that he was probably suffering some severe leg cramps, and was not feeling dandy at all. Turning her head, she smiled at Selina. "I'm doin' just fine. There's so much leg room here in the front. In fact, I think I'm gonna put my feet up on the dash," she said, then did exactly that. "Let's play a game. How 'bout two truths an' a lie?"

Selina: Selina bit her lips, eyes on the traffic, wishing it would clear out soon. She had a feeling this wasn't going to go well and Jonathan's retort coupled with Harley's truly cemented that. "Did you guys maybe want to get something to eat? I can get off at the next exit?" And then Harley spoke of a game. It would be a terrible idea especially with everything Harley now knew. "I--don't know..." She changed lines when she got an in and flipped the bird at someone who tried to cut her off. "I know, asshole! I was here first. yeah yeah!" She kept her middle finger up as the guy next to her continued cursing at Selina. "Yeah, sure. Two truths in a lie."

Jonathan: "I could go for some food. And I don't want to play a game." Jonathan scoffed and set his leg on the back of Harley's chair and put his weight on it, trying to make her ride as uncomfortable as possible while expending the least amount of energy. He didn't even bat an eye at Selina at Selina's road rage, having been used to it since he moved here many years ago.

Harley: Harley nodded when Selina mentioned food, suddenly feeling very hungry. She'd skipped breakfast in order to get ready for this little adventure, so she needed to eat before she ended up getting snappy. "I'd love food. How about Batburger?" she asked, then scrunched up her nose when she felt Jon pushing against her seat. It was making her very uncomfortable. While Selina was distracted with road rage, she unbuckled her seatbelt, turning herself around and half hanging over the front seat. "Ya wanna go, Jonny?" she asked a little too aggressively, then smacked down his leg with her hand. "Keep ya big ol' tarantula legs ta yerself!" She didn't even care about her game anymore.

Selina: Selina was glad they had both agreed on food but she was already frazzled by the man that kept egging her on. "I'm going to kill him." She murmured, gripping the wheel. Once traffic began to move a bit more, she pressed on the gas to try to avoid this guy but he kept following and Selina watched him from her mirror. Harley and Jon were already at is and she knew exactly why. When Harley smacked Jon's leg, she looked over her shoulder and glanced at him, pleading with her expression to try. "Guys. Please. Let's try to make it through the last 15 minutes before we get to Batburger." She sighed when the car sped up beside her and told her to roll her window down calling her every name in the book. Selina just smiled and tilted her head. "Are you done?"

Jonathan: Jon used his other leg to push Harley back into her seat, with some difficulty. He muttered a few select curse words under his breath as he slid to be behind Selina so Harley couldn't reach him. Jon glared at the man cursing her out from the safety of his car. "I could do something about him." He said as Selina tried to pass him, but failed. "I refuse to respond to you Harley. I'm not going to fight you." You said as he returned his legs to their uncomfortable place, where they belonged in his limited amount of leg room. "We're villains, Selina. We can do something about this jackass tryin' to run us off the road. That's reckless drivin'. We're helping the community."

Harley: Harley kept swatting at Jon as he pushed her away with his leg, feeling very stressed that his shoe was touching her expensive jacket. It did amuse her to see him swap sides, though. She glanced out of the window at the guy that was causing Selina trouble, then back at Jon. "Oh, you refuse ta respond ta me?" she asked, turning herself to sit properly again, and fastening her seatbelt. "Sounds like yer backin' down ta me!" Even if she wanted to sucker punch Jon right then, she did agree that the guy being rude to their friend needed to be dealt with. "If he ain't payin' fer our gas, or ridin' in our car, he needs ta get wrecked," she said with a shrug. "Next time we pull up next ta him, I can get out and slam his face into his steerin' wheel?"

Selina: Selina, at this point had drowned everyone out, nodding without thinking and not realizing she had just agreed with Jon and Harley. She didn't want to cause a pile up and she certainly didn't want to get them killed. After everything, all the planning to get Dick back and the good night she had with Jon, she really didn't want to ruin any of that by landing everyone in an ER but this guy deserved at least a hit to his bumper to scare him off. "he thinks he can scare me because I'm a woman. Yeah, jackass, pull over! PULL OVER" really she just wanted his license plate number but her friends had something else in mind

Jonathan: Jon scrunched his face and looked back at Harley. "No. I'm just refused to go along with your childlike games.". His face then flew out in surprise as Selina yelled at him to pull over. They probably had the perfect timeline to drive to the restaurant, and then to the meeting point. Brawling with some idiot in the street was not part of the plan, but Jon didn't care. Selina knew best. He readjusted the fear canisters lined on his chest, ready to throw one through the idiot's window. Not for insulting his... whatever him and Selina was. But for being an asshole. And wasting his time.

Harley: Harley was seething when Jon said the word 'childlike'. She was not a child, and she was perfectly serious about fighting him. There was more to her anger than just him pressing his leg against her seat, but Selina would be mad at her if she told him that she knew about the kiss. But she would find the right time to mention it — maybe when they were at Batburger. She grinned when her friend told the guy to pull over, and took the lid off the wooden box at her feet. It had been forever since she'd used a cupcake bomb, and she'd changed the way they worked. Instead of causing a huge explosion, they now had just enough power to blow up something small. If the guy was lucky, he'd survive with a couple of major injuries. "Alright, Sel... I'm gonna need ya ta floor it when I do this," Harley said, grabbing one of the bombs. "1... 2... 3!" she yelled, then leaned over Selina to throw the weapon through the wound down window, and into the guy’s car. "Go, go, go!"

Selina: Selina was ready to write down the number, satisfied with being right in knowing the guy would stop. Of course. He was a dick. She rolled her eyes but before she could even begin jotting it down, Harley and Jon were already doing their own thing and without hesitation, she floored it, stepping on the gas and getting off at the exit for Batburger. "Holy shit." She smiled widely , winding through the roads, finding an alternative way that didn't put them on a main street. "I really hated that guy! Whoo!" She gripped her steering wheel, tires screeching as she pulled into the drive thru. She ordered what she wanted and waited for Harley and Jon to do the same before parking the car in the lot. A bit into her fry and she felt a lot better. She messed Harley's locks with a grin and then looked over her shoulder towards Jon. "How's your shake, Jonny?"

Jonathan: "Fine. Despite them bastardizing my name." Jonathan as he offered the cup to Selina for her to take a sip. He tried not to make his newfound relationship with Selina hidden. Not that he was ashamed, but rather didn't want Harley sticking her nose in his personal business. This was all so scary and new to him. He realized he was just a stand in for Ivy on their little team, but he didn't mind. It was quite nice to be in a team. He was about to be in a even larger team full of people that have probably tried to kill him at some point. Well, no different than hanging out with the rogues.

Harley: Harley was happy to see that Selina was pleased. She had tried so hard to remain on the good side of the law, but sometimes you had to be bad. It was just the way things were. When they pulled into the Batburger drive-thru, Harley ordered a Bat-Mite meal, along with a Harlequinade. When asked if she wanted to Jokerize her fries, she shrunk back into her seat and declined. Once the food was given to them, she immediately felt calmer. "Heeeey!" she said with a grin as Selina messed up her hair. Nothing could've prepared her for the sheer shock she felt when Jonny offered Selina his shake. "Swappin' spit again, I see," she said with a mischievous smile, then dug around in her box for her toy. "Aw, look! I got a mini Riddler!" she said, kissing the little figure and putting it on the dashboard. "Anyone want a nugget?" Considering they were about to go and take on the Court of Owls to save Dick Grayson, Harley was feeling pretty good about life.

Selina: Selina watched her best friend with a smile, glad to see her calmer. Of course all they needed was some food. She felt herself feeling better too, wanting to move forward to help save her son. When Jon offered his shake, she took it from him with a smile,her fingers brushing against his. "Thanks." She sipped from the second straw she had placed in it and closed her eyes. "Okay, that's so good." She grinned. "And next time I'm getting a Bat-Mite meal. I want a mini Riddler." She laughed softly and leaned back.

Jonathan: "Again?" Jonathan repeated and looked at Selina. Did she go around and tell the whole world about what they were doing? "Also no one wants a mini Riddler. I can barely stop myself from strangling the one we have now." he said, leaning back and taking up the entire back seat. He cracked his knuckles loudly as he stared up at the ceiling, peeling off the top of his mask as he did so. He never knew it could get so hot in New York City. Gotham was in a eternal state of drowsy weather. This, was bullshit. "Can we go over what we're doing exactly?"

Harley: Harley couldn't help but laugh when Selina put another straw in the milkshake, as if she were making a point. "Yeah, Jonny. Again. It's okay, yer secret is safe with me." She had no intention of telling anyone else what had gone on between Scaredycat, because it wasn't like anyone she knew would care all that much. Plus, it wouldn't have been fair to them, and she was trying this new thing where she tried to respect people's privacy. She gasped dramatically when Jon talked badly about Eddie, and grabbed her Riddler toy again, sliding it into her jacket pocket to keep him close — she was a little worried her friend in the back would try and melt it with a lighter, or throw it out the window. "Eddie is the best, Jonny. Please don't ever strangle him." When he asked if they could go over their plan, Harley nodded in agreement, and took a sip of her drink. "Yeah, let's talk about it one more time. We can't afford ta make any mistakes. This is the Court of Owls we're dealin' with... They'll come for us in our sleep if we screw this up. An' we won't stand a chance against 'em all alone."

Selina: Selina smirked at the banter between Harley and Jon. She knew that Jon liked Harley and he was just being moody, really. "Thank you, Harley. I appreciate that discretion." Though she didn't know what they were covering up. They hadn't discussed details and that was fine considering she never knew what she was with Bruce. This thing with Jonathan was nice though and it was fine they were going at their own pace. "Please don't strangle our Eddie, Jon." Selina finished off her fries and turned in her seat so she could address the two of them. "Right. Well, I told Oracle we'd go in and cause a distraction. Do what we do best Mayhem. The Titans will be waiting not too far behind us and swoop in for the rest. According to her, there is someone who will be going after Dick. I think the main mission is to get these guys distracted. We'll go in there, ruffle some feathers and leave and we have to take some guys down, well we crush them." She had no problem with taking down the Court to save someone she loved but she also did not want to put Harley and Jon in any danger. "We stick together. I can't have either of you hurt. Understood?"

Jonathan: "Understood." Jon said. Causing mayhem was something he did well. But the Court of Owls was... strange. An unknown variable in their little experiment. He herd about them a few years after he started living in Gotham, from a kid in his class who later disappeared. As a whole, Rogues messed with each other a lot. But never the Court. In his long pause to consider his course of action (throw in fear canisters and kill anyone that tried to break from the norm), they had started driving to the meeting point. Jon could tell Selina was on edge, but she had every right to be. A lot was on line.

Harley: Harley nodded when she was thanked for keeping the kiss a secret, and leaned back, putting her feet back up on the dashboard while Selina talked about the plan. She was a little worried about taking on the Court of Owls, now that they were talking about it. They were a powerful group, and extremely feared throughout Gotham. It seemed a little suicidal to take them on, but they had to do it. Dick's life depended on it, and he'd saved Harley's life enough times for her to care about his. There were times when he could have easily killed her, along with Batman, but he never did. She owed it to him to go against these people, and set him free. "Okay. We stick together, an' cause mayhem. Got it. I'm perfectly okay with a lil' murder if it gets Dick home."

Selina: Selina tried to put up a front for Jon and Harley but it was getting more and more difficult as they approached the warehouse. She felt the lump form in her throat, zipping up her catsuit and gripping her bullwhip. "So do we just...go in?" She mumbled. So much for being a fearless leader. She pressed the earpiece into her ear. "Oracle? Do we just barge in." And then the redhead told her to go through a side entrance. The security cameras had already been taken out by a virus. "Side entrance. Let's go. Stick together. Promise?" She turned around to face her friends one last time. She had been in the grasps of a Talon before, saved by a fellow Rogue. What if she didn't have that luck this time around?

Jonathan: "We'll be fine. Dying for a good cause is for the good guys." Jon said as he made sure his mask was situated over his face before stepping outside, electing to stay close to Selina to hopefully give her some semblance of comfort. And, after looking around at the people nearby, hopefully she could protect him. He already knew Babs from throwing her off a building, so suffice to say they had trouble seeing eye to eye. She did trust Selina, so he was somehow invited. He stuck near Selina's side, not wanting to wonder off now.

Harley: Harley waited until Selina got the go-ahead from Babs, then got out of the car. She made sure that she had enough bullets to take down an army, and attached two cupcake bombs to the belt hanging off her hips. "If we get separated, then we do our best ta get back ta each other, okay?" She twirled her baseball bat in her hand, then followed after her friends. Out of all of them, she was probably the least scared about fighting alone, if she had to. There weren't many things she feared when it came to mass chaos — she did of course have a higher sense of danger now that she was saner, but nothing would ever take away her thirst for a good fight. In fact, she was getting quite excited now. If the three of them hadn’t been practically holding hands, she'd have probably already wandered off to clonk someone on the head.

Selina: Selina led the way, following the directions in her earpiece. "You're cutting out." she whispered, looking around and realizing they were probably so deep into Jersey that it was hard to stay in contact. She knew this would be a possibility and right when she was about to say anything else a sound coming from behind them made her turn around. They were surrounded by at least 15 others and he took a few steps back. "Ok. change of plans. Spread out." She grabbed the handle of her bullwhip, raising it up and letting it fall to the floor with a hard crack. She took one good look at her friends before snapping the weapon out of a Talons hand.

Jonathan: Jonathan opened a canister of tear toxin to flow through his glove, and unsheathed his scythe. Finally, there were seeing some sort of action. The blood pumped through his ears as he carefully made his way towards the group, glad he chose a longer-ranged weapon. He did not want any of these creeps to get closer than they had to. It was time to end this conspiracy once and for all. He wondered what a court of owl member's greatest fear was. Swinging his weapon and sinking his claws into whichever member dared to get too close seemed like a viable option for now.

Harley: Harley was surprised when Selina told them to spread out, but when she turned around, she saw why. Her heart pounded in her chest, and a grin spread across her face as she unholstered her gun. "It's playtime, freaks!" she yelled, then fired her gun, her bullets piercing through the chests of a few Talons. It was stupid to use so many bullets so quickly, but she couldn't take any chances. As a member moved closer to her, she backflipped through the air and landed in front of them. This was such a rush! She used her bat to hit them in their freaky owl face. "Are you guys okay?" she shouted as loudly as she could, looking around for her friends. 

Selina: Selina gripped the end of her whip and she tried to come up with a strategy. She's dealt with these things before and her first encounter wasn't a pleasant one. She snapped her whip against a Talon's face if they wanted to call it that and kicked another straight in the chest. "Come on." She whispered, egging them on despite the fear she felt. Out of her three friends, she was probably the least prepared. No guns, no bombs, no toxin. She relied heavily on her combat skills and these guys were even more trained than she was. "Two? That's it?" She cracked her whip again, about to answer Harley's call when one picked her up by the neck. Selina felt the air cut quickly from her lungs and Babs screamed in her com, pleading for her to get out. "I would if I c-ccould, Oraclee. Tied upp." Her legs dangled in the air as she tried to break away from his hold and once she kicked him in the abdomen, he dropped her to the floor. Selina tried to crawl away but there were already four more on her tail. "Oracle give me something. There's too much. It's like they multiply..."

Jonathan: Jonathan looked back in time to see Selina surrounded. He went over and beheaded 2 of them in a row to hopefully give Selina some time to stand up and get her act together. He looked at both of his weaponed hands and made an executive decision. He yelled "Catwoman, catch!" before tossing his scythe at her. he would be fine with just her glove, plus they needed to hurt these guys, and he could tell Selina was losing faith in her whip. He stabbed another member in the next with his glove, and watched as they fell screaming to the floor. He has glad he remembered to pack the quickest version of his toxin, not any of the slow release stuff he's been studying so intensely for the past few months. And he packed enough toxin to scare a whole nation.

Harley: Harley spotted Selina getting picked up, and immediately tried to get to her. The last thing she wanted was to lose her best friend. Grabbing a cupcake bomb from her belt, she threw it at the group coming towards her friend. It wouldn't stop all of them, but it'd keep away at least three or four — but it still didn't stop the others rushing towards her. It was hard to keep fighting while she knew Selina was in danger, but she continued to put her gymnast skills to good use, dodging and jumping, and using the walls to her advantage. It was easy to parkour off them, due to her lithe frame and skillset. Eventually, she was close enough to Selina to help her. With Jon's scythe she'd be a little safer, but Harley didn't trust that these people wouldn't group up on her friend again. She knew that Jonathan would be fine, because she could hear the bloodcurdling screams of his victims. "Sel, are ya okay?" she asked, pressing her back against the other woman's as she continued to shoot any owl that came towards them. She only had one bomb left, and she knew she had to save it for if they got into really bad trouble.

Selina: Selina caught the scythe, giving Jon a quick nod and did the same when Harley came to her, giving her best friend's arm a quick squeeze. "The comms went out. I can't get Oracle." She took a few steps back and swung at a Talon. "Hey, Scarecrow, I like this. I'll be borrowing it in the near future." She grinned, gaining some confidence and going after a few more. "We're surrounded. Where are those Titans?"

Jonathan: "I have no idea. I'm not the one with the communicator." Jonathan said as he kept on stabbing the members. He definitely had some sort of bounty on his head with how many of them he was taking out. They were surrounding them, which never seemed like a good idea. Soon, he found himself back to back with Selina and Harley. He never really liked the Titans before, but now he was almost praying for them to swoop in.

Harley: Harley felt Jon bump into them, and it was clear now that they were going to lose — but she never did like losing. Adrenaline paired with excitement was coursing through her, and she kept shooting as she spoke, using her bat with her other hand to keep Talons away from her. "Okay, we gotta stay safe until the Titans arrive. Once they're here, we're good to book it!" She took the last cupcake bomb off her belt, trying to figure out where to aim it. "I'm gonna take out the ones directly in front of me. Jonny, you take the left. Sel, you take the right. Then we just... We fight like we're playin' Mortal Kombat until we can leave." She pushed her friends back a little, then threw the bomb. "Alright, let's do this!"

Selina: Selina nodded at the instructions and when Harley called out the okay, she went running, stabbing a couple of Talons on her way towards an area where her friends could follow. "There." She pointed and pressed the earpiece to her ear and right when she was about to call for help, she heard the Titans swoop in. "That's our cue! Let's get out of here!" And she got rid of a few more assailants, choking one with her whip and letting them fall to the ground. Once they reached the outside, she looked over her shoulder to make sure they were both there. "Oh God. We just did that! We did that!"

[shay-iamiam]

One Year Later

New Year’s! 🎉

A/N:Happy New Year’s! I wanted to write something for fun just for New Year’s Eve. I hope y'all enjoy it. This fic is Gender neutral and POC friendly and no specific body type. It’s important to me that every is included in the fandom. Enjoy! And Happy New Year’s!

~ Shay

WC:1,723

It seemed like fate actually. And you really didn’t believe in it you’ve had plenty of bad breaks over the years. You had meet him exactly a year ago to this date and if someone one told you that drunken strangerould become your fiance you would have laughed it off and told them they could go to hell but here you were looking into those exact same eyes a year later.

Flashback

You moved back into the small town you fought to get out of. Your grandma was sick and being that it was only you and her left the responsibility for caring for her fell on you. But you didn’t mind she raised you and you be damned if you were going to stick her in a nursing home and watch her fade away.

So when you got off the phone with her doctor you decided right then and there you would move back home and care for her. That had been two months ago. The small town hasn’t changed much over the years. The corner store was still there, the county fair was still small and the only bar in town was busy as usual. It was New years eve and you planned on staying with your grandma to watch the ball drop but she instead you go out tonight.

“Y/N honey I’m not asking you to go out I’m telling you. I’ll still be here when you get back now go out and try to have some fun.” You’ve been caring for grandmother 24/7 never leaving her side and she wouldn’t tell you this but your where honestly suffocating her. She knew you just wanted to help but you became overbearing. Even to the point where you tried to feed her once. That didn’t go over well with her you didn’t hear the last her fussing at you about and that had happened a month ago.

You decided to listen to your Grandmother and go out. The town bar was small but you decided to dress up anyway even if only twenty people saw you. You put on one of your favorite outfits opting for something that was comfortable and also made you feel good. You bid your grandmother goodbye and she made a point in saying. “See ya in the morning honey” you laughed about it on the way to the bar. Was she telling you to try and get lucky tonight.

You made your way in the bar. It was small but they still tried to decorate. You found a empty stoll and ordered a drink. You saw a couple of people you knew and chatted with them for a while. It was close to midnight and the bar had become quiet vacant. You wehere ready to pay your tab and get back home under the covers and sleep the night away. You waited for the bartender but he was still down at the other end. He had been making whiskey neats for someone down there all night.

You walked down to the other end and waited for him to finish up. You sat and tapped your foot to the song that was playing it was one of your favorites “Carry on Wayward Son”. you didn’t even notice the drunk man next to you staring holes threw your head. You paid your tab and gathered your stuff to leave. You finally notice the man next to you . As you stood he wasn’t shy about looking you up and down drinking in your appearance. You could tell he was hammered and he didn’t look like he wa a local.

“Hold me please I would love to be touched by an angel” he slurred out. You had began laughing how could he be this rammed you wondered. You could tell he was harmless though and had to much to drink. You asked the bartender if he knew if the man next to you had drove himself here. He gave you his keys and stared telling you he was gonna call him a cab. But you weren’t too sure about that. He had passed out on the bar counter. You being the person that you are didnt want to leave him drunk and disoriented. So you dug through his pockets and called the last number he had dialed.

The phone ring until the line picked up “Dean.. Dean where are you. You’ve been gone for two days.” the man on the other line sounded frantic.

“Sorry uhh this isn’t Dean he here at the bar passed out drunk.” you tried to stay calm since the guy on the other end was flipping out.

“I’m sorry what bar are you talking about.” the guy cleary didn’t know anything about this bar.

“Heckless you know off 64 west.” you were hoping he would know but he didn’t. He told you that he was his brother Sam and that Dean had gone missing two days ago. He hasn’t answered his phone of texts. You told him that you would take him back to his hotel since you found the key in his pocket and it was the only one in town make sure he was safe. Sam thanked you and told you e would make the drive to your town to get him.

You told the bartender you got a hold of his brother and where going to take him back to his hotel. He helped you lug him out and get him in your car. He worked up on the drive to the hotel and you explain to him what happened and told him Sam was coming for him. He nodded his head at you and smiled and thanked you for helping him. You all made light conversation and he seemed nice plus he wa cute. You got to the hotel and helped him out your car. You open the hotel room only to see it was trashed.

“Sorry Y/n he slurred I wasn’t expecting to be bring anyone back.” after looking around and seeing the hotel was barely livable you made a rash decision and decide to bring Dean back to your place. You called Sam And told him what you were doing and got Dean back in your car.

You pulled into your driveway and got Dean out. You made it to the kitchen before he collapsed in a chair. You were searching for pain meds when he yelled out.

“Ohh shit I think im gonna be sick.” you grabbed him and rushed to your bathroom where he spent fifteen minutes vomiting in your bathroom. He had been so loud your Grandma got up. Once you told her what happen she found the pain meds and went back to bed. Dean had finally finished and he looked like death itself. You figured it would be easier to let him lay in your bed so you gave hima change of clothes and told him to lay down.  You gave him two pain pills and the next thing you know you hear a loud snoring. He was out like a light.

You heard soft laughter the sun was just coming up and you had crashed on the couch that night. You threw your robe on and walked to the kitchen to find Dean and your Grandma chatting over breakfast.

“Happy New year Grandma.” you bent down and kissed her check. You looked around to see that there were fresh bacon, eggs, and coffee. You looked up yo see Dean hand you a cup and pull a chair out for you. “Thank you for taking care of me last night. No telling what I would have done if you hadn’t swooped in and saved me.” he spoke he had a faint smile on his lips.

You all sat down and ate together your grandma making hints at you on how cyte Dean was and how you never really go out on dates. And you telling her that he was just passing thru grandma went to lay down to take a nap. You spent some time talking to Dean finding out he lived in the next town over and just wanted to get away for the night.  You al talked until Sam pulled into your driveway. You were actually sad to see him go you didn’t get out and socialize much but thar as your choice. You washed Deans clothes from the previous night and gave them to him. You walked kim down your driveway and were preparing some basic small talk in your head when  your thoughts were interrupted.

“I uh..  I uhh know this may sound a little strange but can I have your number I uhh. I really would like to see you again.” he kept scratching the back his neck his face growing a deep red. You laughed and grabbed his phone and told him to text you sometime. He threw his fist in the air and left.

You go back in the house only to find your grandmother smiling and saying “Good job he’s a cute one.”

END FLASHBACK

Here you where a year later at Deans place preparing to have a quiet New years eve in. you all texted constantly from that day and went on a date a week after he left your house. Your relationship grew quickly and you knew you were in love.  You had been so lost in thought you didn’t even hear him call out for you.

“Y/N..Y/N did you hear me the food will be here soon.” he had been staring at you from the doorway for the past five minutes wondering how he got so lucky with a beautiful stranger like you exactly a year ago tonight.

“Yeah sorry I was just thinking about something.” you spoke quietly

“Hopefully it was about me or my feelings might be hurt.” he said in a joking tone. You threw a pillow at him and motioned for him to come snuggle up with you in the bed. If someone would have told you a year ago about the stranger that changed your life you would have told them go to hell. But being here snuggled up with your now boyfriend exactly a year from when you ment. You might be crazy enough to believe them.

This was just for fun. I hope you liked it! Leave some feedback! 

~ Shay