#i was like 'NO. no. i'm mad. no. i hate that this is fixed. no. i'm so angry.' when i realized how they were fixing it.

[milliesfishes]

she breaks something by accident in front of him and she’s trying to hold back tears as she apologizes profusely and tries to clean it up fast and his heart just hurts in his chest because he knows her head is telling her over and over in that moment that he’ll leave her for something so small

and of course before he can stop her she’s got her hand cut on broken glass and bloody and she’s just crying at that point and apologizing even more because she feels like a burden for getting hurt

oh I fear this one hit too close to home (edit: this did not start as this, but it became very long)

⋆౨ৎ𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰⋆౨ৎ 𝓯𝓮𝓶 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝔁 𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓴𝓲𝓭

The sound of the glass hitting the ground hit your ears before you realized what had happened. There was a brief moment in time when you were frozen, eyes wide as the centers of daisies. It had been completely innocent- you'd been laughing at something he said, sweeping your hand out in an exaggerated motion. And now the moment was broken, all innocence sapped out of the room.

Apologies flooded from your lips, and you dropped to your knees in an instant, reaching for the scattered shards. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

Across from you, Billy was standing up, reaching for you. "Baby-"

Your breath hitched on your tenth apology, and you took in a staggered breath, a few of the larger pieces of the glass gathered in a tiny pile in front of you. Heart pounding, the thoughts running through your mind were frantic, awfully firm and unyielding. He's gonna leave you. You made a mistake. He's gonna hate you now, you don't deserve him.

Stepping around the glass, Billy tried to get to you, and you kept your head down, hair falling around the sides of your face like a curtain. "I'll fix it...I'm sorry, I'll fix it..."

Billy knelt beside you, his hand on your arm, trying to meet your eyes. "Sweetheart, it's-"

A sharp gasp interrupted him. You'd reached for a piece of glass without thinking and now your hand was cut in the space below your thumb. Humiliation flooded your system, and your cheeks burned as hot tears began to cascade down your face, stinging like salt in a wound. Nononononono you made a mistake, you made a mistake-

Breaths uneven, you fell back against the leg of your chair, trying to steady yourself, holding your hand to your chest. Blood was dripping down your finger, and you drew your knees up, looking away from Billy and shutting your eyes as if that would make him disappear. You wanted to redo this moment, to fix everything you'd done.

His hand was gentle on your knee, and you opened your eyes at his touch. Billy's other palm was extended, and he murmured, "Lemme see."

Against your will, you gave him your hand, and he reached up to his neck, unraveling the bandana he wore there. The cloth was pressed to your hand soon after, and he held it there for a moment until he was satisfied, tying it across your knuckles.

The entire time he was tending to you, a bucket of guilt was poured over your head like rain in the springtime. You'd done a bad thing, you'd ruined your evening and here he was, being so kind and sweet just like always. A fresh wave of tears fell down your cheeks in rivers, and his eyes softened.

Billy slid his arm around your waist, tugging at you. "C'mere...c'mere, sweet girl. It's okay. I promise."

You moved into him like he was your gravity. Billy held you tight to his chest, leaning his cheek to the top of your head. "Shh, it's okay. It was just an accident, baby."

"I'm sorry-" you choked, voice strung with a high pitch. You were clinging to him like he was a lifeline, his scent and being engulfing you the way it always did. And the fact that he didn't even seem mad made you feel worse.

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's okay," he whispered, kissing the top of your head and letting his lips linger there. "Oh my love...my baby..." Billy shifted you onto his lap, away from the precarious shards of glass still scattered and hidden across the floor.

It was quiet for a minute, except for the sounds of Billy adjusting your legs across his so not a single portion of your skin was touching the ground. He held you for a stretch of time that you didn't bother to count.

When it had been a moment, he began to murmur little questions against your head, and you responded with a nod or a shake.

"Are you tired?" Shake.

He rubbed his thumb soothingly up and down your arm. "D'you wanna get in bed? Just to get cozy?" Nod.

Billy nudged his lips against your hairline, hugging you tight to him. You felt a flood of love and warmth in your chest, replacing the tautness of anxiety that occupied the space before. He isn't mad.

"You know I love you?" he whispered, the tenderness of his tone nearly bringing you to tears again. Billy tilted your chin up, searching your eyes.

In his face you saw something heavenly reflected back. Nobody would call your Billy pure, but his love was. It existed outside whatever wrongs he'd committed, whatever sins stood in need of repentance. The boundless emotion you saw in his eyes was too big to ever be set off course by something like an accident.

He used a hand to smooth your hair, tuck it behind your ear. "I love you so much." Cupping your cheek in his big palm, his lips twitched up a little sadly when you leaned into it. "Now you know?"

You reached up for his wrist, squeezing it. Nod.

[fridgrave2-0]

hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au

turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else

now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident

also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[nachosncheezies]

In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)

I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.

Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)

That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"

When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!

The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:

and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)

So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.

So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.

Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)

Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.

[can-of-slorgs]

Completed the Shenkuu Stamp collection some time ago, so it was only fair to draw my girl Mirsha

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo.

Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:

he does it because Star asks NICELY

clearly jealous

It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...

Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)

What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"

he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much

The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"

Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.

He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:

Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"

If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).

... okay.

[spaghetticat3899]

When you absolutely despise something a lot of people like, and no matter what way you look at it you cannot see the appeal, but you know you can’t talk about it in public or else you’ll get dogpiled to hell and back, so you just kinda sit there frothing at the mouth like this

[jensensitive]

I think a fundamental difference in the way some of us interact with the show and fandom has to do with the way we see the production as an entity or entities. Like some people see the writers as The Writers™ one entity, one pov, one brain, one vision. And some people see it as just They™ meaning vague entity that made the show, probably network included idk, one pov, one brain, one vision. And some people see it as individual writers and directors and producers, individual entities with individual povs and brains and visions and thoughts and drives. Even as someone decidedly in the last camp, I'm not going to assert that the other camps are wrong, because I've noticed that they're more naturally better at looking at the show from a watsonian perspective to be experienced without torturing themselves about intent, which is wonderful. But it does still bother me when the They™ faction does get concerned with intent and the They™ gets collectively blamed for shitty things certain shitty people did that other entirely different people tried their best to fix.

[septimus-heap]

I've done a stupid thing and idk how to fix it and my parents r going to be so so mad at me abt it and idk what to do

[commandermahariel]

siiiiiiigh

[psalmsofpsychosis]

whyyyyy is it that movie criticism is always written by deadbrain cynics who have not felt a single emotion in 65 years and almost exclusively write about movies and genres that they hate

[isekyaaa]

Reading the spoilers of otome light novels always be like, "Wow, people really hate men."

[maryibgarry102]

This is a "complain into the void about being annoyed" post so feel free to ignore lol

ok like i get being mad about the a/c not being fixed as fast as you'd like and the various other legitimate maintenance problems ppl have been dealing with when they shouldn't have to be. but pls don't get mad at the maintenance workers not being able to give you a timeline for a fix because of the ADMIN not having tracking info for a part they need for your a/c repair as if they were the ones who manufactured the part and handle it's transport like babe not only do the guys who come in to do your work likely not handle this shit themselves separate from the admin, but the housing org and the a/c part ppl are seperate businesses, ran by people with limited time/resources/staff and high demand like. The ppl could literally just not have stuff to tell you because THEY weren't given a way to track it themselves by the a/c part seller? You don't always get tracking info, like when a teacher i know had issues with getting a part shipped for an oven issue they were fixing or with some international orders. Did ya think that maybe they aren't purposefully trying to slight you in any way but are just ppl with limited info and resources who ALSO would rather just fix your issue and be done with it like? Be mad about the high cost of living with an administration that isn't as efficient as it should be considering the scope of their work and the high demand, be mad with issues like your a/c or water not working properly considering the price you pay for maintenance and the space itself, but don't get mad at the repair workers for issues outside of their control or make a fuss because of a "problem" that really is just how life goes sometimes, instead of acting like it was meant to be a personal slight just cause it's not the most convenient or what you wanted

[ostwitchsheart]

Sorry to start complaining but its my tumblr

[youremyonlyhope]

Me: I don't like Cats the musical. You could not pay me to ever see it live.

Perelman Performing Arts Center: We're doing a version of Cats inspired by ballroom culture!

Me: Ok... that's definitely interesting... I could be into it... but NO still you can't make me want to see it.

PAC: Here's some rehearsal footage of the cast vogueing to Jellicle Ball!

Me: ...I hate that this actually is working... it fits a little too well...

PAC: Also André De Shields is playing Old Deuteronomy!

Me: ...Why must satan tempt me in this way...

[dominateeye]

Anybody know when the crushing discouragement and anxiousness over the future stops