#i was laughing so hard when i read this

[kavehsleftearring]

day no.42069 of "Wow! I can't believe thats real dialogue!"

these lines said in succession was so fucking funny to me 😭😭😭

[wigglebox]

Destiel Hot Summer - Unexpected 🙈

[w1lmutt]

So I read gachiakuta

[gemharvest]

sorry, no flash photography ! @ochrearia

[tiny-planet-13]

a few of my irls have started reading tgcf so I'm patiently waiting for all the devastating story beats to hit them but I'm also waiting for them to reach the point where xie lian thinks it's the right course of action to give a ghost cpr

[inamindfarfaraway]

The Pixies need to be villains in A New Wish just so that Hazel, canonical lover of paperwork and the predictable monotony of places it is done like the DMV (*cough*, autism, *cough*), can have so much fun with them that it makes them have a breakdown because they're not meant to be fun! They're meant to be boredom incarnate! They rob kids of joy, they don't give it to them! Who is this child? What is going on here?

[u3pxx]

my only criticism of your swap omens designs is that aziraphale lost his gay little bowtie 😔

[bad omens] that's a very good point, anon, but don't worry! a crow demon can have a minor outfit change every now and then! >:^P

[unfinishedslurs]

RIP Mike Wheeler’s heterosexuality

“Is being gay contagious?”

Steve stares at his phone groggily before putting it back against his ear. “…Mike?”

“Is it?”

“It’s three in the fuckin’ morning is what it is.” He rubs his nose, Mike’s words finally catching up to his brain. “Seriously, Mike? No it’s not fucking contagious, you’re not gonna get the gay disease or whatever from me. I promise you’ll keep liking girls.”

He’s a little hurt, even though he knows the question is innocent. They’ve been asking a lot of questions, like the inquisitive little assholes they are, but none of them had seemed like they weren’t okay with it. Until now.

“…that’s not what I meant,” Mike says. Steve realizes that his voice sounds shaky, even over the phone.

“Then what—“ he cuts himself off, realizing halfway through his bitching that there was only one reason Mike would call about this. “Oh.”

“Can you pick me up?”

“It’s three in the morning,” he repeats, even as he starts wondering where he left his keys. “Your mom…”

“Steve,” Mike pleads. “Please?”

He sighs. “I’m on my way.”

Mike is sitting on his doorstep when he pulls up, head in his hands. Steve doesn’t have to get out of the car, he stalks to the passenger door with all the vitriol of a boy with too many emotions to hold in, and wrenches the door open hard enough that Steve worries he’s going to break it.

“Watch it, noodle arms,” he says, trying to pretend this is normal. Maybe if he acts like it’s not well past midnight, Mike will relax.

It doesn’t work. Mike slumps in his seat, not bothering with the seatbelt. “Can you just drive?”

Steve drives. Doesn’t really know where they’re going, but it doesn’t matter. Just away seems to suffice.

He eventually pulls into a side road

“I’m scared to even touch another guy now! Because apparently hugging is gay when you’re older, and so is sleeping in the same bed, and telling your friends you love them, and…and I’m fucking scared all the time, ‘cause what if they’re right? How do they know? How can they tell by just fucking looking at me? It’s bullshit!”

“Shit, kid,” Steve says, heartbroken. “Shit. C’mere.”

He pulls him close, and Mike turns his face into the crook of his neck, shaking. His shirt collar starts to get damp.

“I don’t know what to do,” he cries. “I thought it was normal, I thought everyone was just…so scared all the time, and we just didn’t talk about it. But then you said that thing about being afraid and pushing it down, and I didn’t— I tried to ignore it. I tried so hard not to think about it, Steve, I swear I tried.”

“I know you did,” he says quietly. It hits him that he might be the only one who really gets it. Eddie gave up denying it long ago, deciding to evolve into something else for them to focus on. Robin’s a girl. Which doesn’t mean jack shit in most cases, because being a lesbian fucking sucks in a town like Hawkins, but girls aren’t as obsessive about it. Sometimes when they compare notes, Robin will just stare at him.

Mike shakes his head. “I don’t know what I did wrong,” he mumbles tearfully into his shoulder.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Steve says with a surprising amount of vehemence. He grabs Mike by his scrawny little shoulders, pulls him away so he can look directly into his bloodshot eyes. “Not a damn thing, do you hear me? There is nothing wrong with you, and anyone who tells you otherwise deserves a swift kick in the balls. Got it?”

Mike responds by bursting into loud, messy sobs.

Steve just keeps holding him, running a hand through his hair and soothing him gently, like he wishes someone had done for him or Robin or Eddie when they were young. Finally Mike pulls away, embarrassment starting to set in.

“Sorry,” he mutters.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Steve asks instead of a meaningless platitude he knows Mike wouldn’t accept.

Mike gives him a suspicious look. “I guess.”

“I’m scared too. All the time.”

“No you’re not,” Mike snorts. “You don’t need to make me feel better just because I’m a pussy.”

“I’m not joking,” he says. “Why do you think I dated girls? Why do you think I went through so many lengths to hide it? It’s fucking terrifying, man. But you know what makes it less scary?”

“Dating girls? Marrying a woman?”

“No.” He pokes Mike’s chest, right over his heart. “People. Friends who love and accept you. Friends who know what you’re going through, even.”

“Do you…” Mike chews his lip. “Do you think Nancy would be okay with it? With me?”

“Absolutely I do. She was okay with me, wasn’t she? And I was her boyfriend.”

“Yeah, but it’s different when it’s your family, right? Sometimes people don’t care if someone is… people don’t care until it affects them. Do you think Nancy is like that?”

He knows Nancy isn’t like that, but that's a talk they’re going to have to have themselves. “I really don’t,” he encourages. “I think she’d be really glad to know this part of you, actually. She loves you.”

“…I know,” he says, shifting uncomfortably. “I don’t… we made this dumb no secrets pact the first time the Upside-Down happened, I don’t know why. It’s stupid. But…I don’t want to keep secrets from her anymore.”

[kagoutiss]

green beetle black beetle

[captaincrazycreative]

Lemony Snicket will go through the most, horrific, traumatizing experience you can imagine and still find the energy to be a little bitch about it

[indieyuugure]

Cough Cough

you should’ve made the human turtles bald, didn’t have hair before shouldn’t have hair after

Cough Cough

🧑‍🦲

/j

lol, 😂 Well, technically you’re right. In reality, the mutation would only actually provide them with the ability to grow hair, they wouldn’t have a single hair on their entire body, not ever peach fuzz. Obviously though, that’s not as great for the narrative purpose of this story. So we’ll say that it’s the magic of glowing green alien goo at work.

Good question! 🤣

[foxglves]

they're really out there calling draisaitl mcdavid's "prince consort" on the hockey news dot com

[ladsofsorrow24]

and i hope when you think of me years down the line, you can't find one good thing to say (x)

okay here's the fic, it's in japanese tho -> (x)

[miss-sternennacht]

[vechter]

yoska graesinka, dick grayson and bruce wayne in gotham knights (2000) #21

top 10 moments before disaster

[schmorpthe]

One of my favourite things in Splatoon is seeing people's funny names. Even better if it's coordinated well with their title.

It makes me wonder how many funny names I have missed because I am a pleb who only speaks/reads English. It keeps me up at night.