#i was kind of a dick and straight up said “that isn't my problem”

[killerchickadee]

You know, the flipside of "managers aren't your friends, don't tell them shit" (which is true) is "managers aren't your friends, so when you're 25 minutes late literally every single day they don't give a flying fuck about your excuses."

[nymph-ette111]

Hello!

Could you do how Jeff, EJ, Toby and Ben (all separated) would react to Y/N being uncomfortable because of stretch marks on the thighs (or other parts of the body)?? Like what would they do or say about it

Sorry if it was a very long request or something ❤

That's it, have a great day/night!!

WARNINGS; MENTIONS OF UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS/JEFFREY BEING AN ACTUAL DICK, MENTIONS OF STRETCH MARKS

AUTHOR'S NOTE; not very proud of this tbh... anyways I didn't really get the "uncomfortable" part so I wrote it as in "insecure" I hope this is what you had in mind :( ALSO I DON'T HAVE A CHARACTER LIMIT GUYS YOU CAN ASK FOR AS MANY AS YOU'D LIKE IN ONE REQUEST!!

JEFFREY;

-not even going to attempt and sugarcoat this section... or any future headcanons that include Jeff because this man is genuinely the biggest asshole to have ever assholed on the planet.

-he doesn't even care if you're his partner, bro is actually ruthless.

-he's made you cry countless of times before.

-i mean... everyone agrees he isn't the greatest boyfriend, especially in terms of just... caring for his lover. like this man can't even do the bare minimum in a relationship.

-if he ever catches you staring at your body in the mirror for long periods of time, he'll straight up ask you.

"the fuck is wrong with you?"

-Jeff is still an intelligent man, he catches on quite quickly.

-he knew you were insecure about something, you wouldn't just sulk at the mirror for like 15 minutes straight for no reason.

-once you tell him what's wrong he kind of just... belittles you?

-that sounds wrong I KNOW. LET ME EXPLAIN.

-it's just that he doesn't understand why you're insecure about some stretch marks on your body.

-he acts like insecurities are useless bullshit as if he doesn't fake his own confidence.

-okay you fucking hypocrite.

-yeah anyways in terms of "comforting" you, said in quotation marks because Jeffrey Woods and comfort in the same sentence is actually diabolical. basically his way of making you feel better about it even if he thinks it's stupid, he forces you to show them to everyone.

-yep. usually when your partner is upset about something physically, you try to make them view said thing in a positive light, and THEN you try to encourage them to try and show it off and be confident about it. right?

-no, Jeff goes straight to the point whether you agree or not. stretch marks on your thighs and legs? you WILL be wearing that short dress. stretch marks on your arms? WEAR that short sleeve top. stretch marks on your stomach? WEAR THAT TANK TO—

-he intends good I swear he's just very mean about it.

-also when other creeps hit on you (specifically BEN) he gets mad like he wasn't the one who threw away half of your closet and forced you to wear something revealing...

-if you sit him down for a serious talk about how this doesn't help with anything and it only makes you even more uncomfortable he might mellow shit down and stop with this whole showing off your body to feel less insecure situation.

-he'll understand but don't expect him to do anything else after that because he claims that "it's not my fuckin' problem... deal with that shit yourself then"

-he is a little pissy about it because he thought he was genuinely helping you.

-having the audacity to get mad when an insufficient way of overcoming your insecurities doesn't work? okay bro.

-anyways I love him guys please request more for this goober.

EYELESS JACK;

-like mentioned in the previous post, Jack never judges others for the way they look physically.

-even when he was normal, he never saw the point in it. that's just the way your body is. why should he make you feel bad about it when you can't do anything to change it? even towards himself. before specific events took place, when he was just a normal college student he saw himself as average looking and didn't have a problem with it and never made an effort to try and "look better"

-but after the whole... failed cult sacrifice it earned him this villain complex mindset.

-he sees himself as an unlovable monstrosity, the fact that you were willing to be near this guy at all is mind-blowing to him.

-naturally, Jack views you as way out of his league. he believes that he doesn't deserve you.

-so, seeing you? the one who changed his life and dragged him out of the hell hole that is his mind, unsatisfied with the way your body looks because of some stretch marks?

-bro is genuinely offended. you're fucking ethereal, you're an angel from above, why can't you see that?

-but seeing you view that part of your body as something bad, he can't help but feel like you're disgusted with his too.

-for context, Jack also has stretch marks scattered all over his body. you don't like yours equals you don't like his. that's his logic.

-he wouldn't say it out loud though, of course not. he knows that it's wrong. his thoughts are just a way to bring him down and make him even more miserable, he just can't help but find any opportunity to convince his brain that he is unlovable.

-i think it's best to not talk about it Infront of him.

-he still thinks you're beautiful though, he's just overthinking :(

TOBY;

-quite similar to Jack, doesn't understand why you view them in such a negative light. he is genuinely borderline obsessed with you. everything... I mean EVERYTHING is perfect in his eyes. yes, including the stretch marks. yes, including the freckle on your left thigh because he is just that observant.

-this man is DETERMINED to make you feel better, he'd do anything to make you see yourself the way he does. quite aggressive with it too. you ARE pretty. stretch marks or not.

-all of the sudden, every single time you stop by a mirror to over-analyse your stretch marks, you're dragged away by Toby to talk about the nice weather outside (anyone who dares to step a foot outside will have to face the consequences of a fucking heatstroke)

-all of the sudden, he starts littering more gentle, almost ghost-like kisses all over your thighs once you two are in the safety of your rooms. it wasn't some out of the ordinary with Toby, he's always had a thing for showing his affection towards you physically. it just stepped up a notch, and the kisses are now directed towards those specific areas.

-he'll do anything to prove to you that your stretch marks are simply a part of you and your body. and he fucking loves it.

-if you don't start loving your stretch marks after all that treatment Toby is giving... the problem is you. mans is actually dedicated.

BEN;

-was never good with comforting people, especially someone he cares about. he is used to always brushing his feelings away, never really confronting himself about shit. but unlike Jeff, he actually tries for you.

-I'll be honest... he probably never knew stretch marks even existed.

-once you told him what you were so upset about, he legitimately went "the fuck is that?"

-he actually has no filter, this guy speaks before he thinks.

-bet you he was typing away on his keyboard too, barely paying any attention to your little rant.

-when you realize his half-assed responses were because he wasn't even listening, you genuinely consider plugging off that ancient ass computer just to get some of his attention.

-he feels bad after that though, he'd attempt, keyword attempt to try and make you feel better.

-it probably doesn't work but you sort of let it him off the hook for it. he doesn't even know what a stretch mark looks like, he is basically trying to convince you that something he doesn't even know and has never seen in his life before is beautiful.

-the attempt is appreciated though, it's genuine enough.

[diminuel]

In stinky child au

Do Crocodile still try to take control of the Alabasta Kingdom?

Or he ended up in Impel Down for an another reason?

I've talked about Alabasta a couple of times, but of course my blog is still a mess so I can only find this post here.

Keeping my answer under the read more!

Also, as always, people are welcome to add their two cents! It'll be a while until I get there/ will write a fic dealing with this.

The short answer is that no, he isn't trying to take control of Alabasta. He has no interest in being its king. It is the strategically safest location for him, he's nearly invincible and the pirates coming through either know how to avoid him or aren't strong enough to pose a threat.

Also, he knows about Pluton and wants it. Other than Dragon, Crocodile has always been a "solve problems with violence" kind of person. He thinks it's quicker and more efficient than what Dragon was trying to do. He has known Dragon since his Freedom Fighter days, before Dragon decided what he needed was an army that could fight. And Crocodile provides a lot of the funds and the weapons for it - big portions of the money he makes with the casino benefit the RA.

However, he feels that it's not enough. He thinks he has to find Pluton and he thinks its in Alabasta. He knows that he can't just ask Cobra about it because even just knowing about this and inquiring about it could bring the World Government down on their heads. So he's looking in secret, slowly, slowly.

That said, dissent has existed in Alabasta before he arrived. Droughts are frequent issues and often lead to localized unrest. He might cause some issues because his sandstorms when he's looking for hidden ruins etc might actually bury some towns and make already existing issues worse. But he's not actively out to cause harm. However, issues that keep the palace distracted suit him well. The less eyes on him as he's investigating, the better.

And then the Dance Powder incident happens. I'm playing with the idea that it wasn't his choice. But that Alabasta, particularly the Nefetari family, is a thorn in the World Government's side. So they bring Dance Power into the country.

They expect Crocodile to understand the message: do something with this. If you fail you're our perfect scapegoat.

And he's a pirate, he's selfish, he's too close to his goal, he must be. He can't stop now. So he lets it run its course, letting Cobra take the fall, like intended (he does tell Dragon about it, he maybe even can get away with warning Cobra that he has to take this seriously.) And even when civil war is imminent and Vivi wants to stop it, he knows that this is the best case scenario for him. With this kind of chaos he might get away with searching the palace or maybe even putting pressure on Cobra to tell him about it. The WG wants him gone, he might as well show Crocodile where the Poneglyph is, so someone can fight them.

I haven't fully thought it all through but yeah, Stinky Child AU Crocodile isn't really that much of a dick, just enough of a dick to put his interests above the ones of the Kingdom that has been his home for so long.

And he ends in Impel Down because he takes the fall for wanting to topple the monarchy by causing a civil war, he was the leader of BW and he knows too much. Straight to Level 6 with him.

Thoughts? Protests?

[torusmistress]

co-parent bakugou .2

katsuki bakugou x nb reader (previous part)

(cw: smut, angst, kids, arguing, verbal abuse)

when bakugou comes back from his morning walk he goes into the kitchen to see raya over the stove cooking breakfast. “hey babe, goodmorning,” she turned to face him, “i'm sorry about last night; i was just upset.”

he nods and goes to their bedroom and gets undressed. raya, not being satisfied with his reaction, pauses breakfast and follows him up. she sneaks up behind him and runs her hand down his bare back. “i said i was sorry babe, you have to forgive me.” he turns around to face her.

“you know my dad doesn't like it when we argue.” he hated that. he hated it when she used her dads position as leverage. with rayas’ dad being the mayor and all; she’d grown to be a spoiled brat. sure he had the skill to be a pro-hero but maybe not the funds. his parents weren't exactly the richest in the world. so of course his wife offered to let her dad take care of it. just like that- pro-hero dynamite had his own agency.

he swallowed hard, some spit along with his pride and sighed, “yea, ‘m sorry bout last night. i wasn't in the best head space." raya smiled, and played with the waistband of his boxers. “it's okay lovebug, now just lay back and let me take care of you.” he stood there quietly and watched her. watching as she knelt down, pulling down his boxers as she did. taking his semi-hard dick into her hands then licking the tip while working her hand up and down his full length. she kind of falters at noticing he isn't getting hard as quickly as he usually does. “did you jerk off already today or something?” he lies and shakes his head yes as she stands up. “or maybe you just can't get hard for me anymore.” she says jokingly, and katsuki forces a laugh. unsure of what was causing the problem.

__

by the time you get up it's nearly 1pm, woken up by your antsy little toddler who you let sleep in your room for night. you get up then go do your morning routine. (accompanied by your curious toddler of course) when you finish both of your morning routines you go towards the kitchen to make your cereals of choice. you go up to your room to grab your phone and see a text from bakugou. “When can i see my kid again” you sigh and reply telling him he can come over today. he likes the message and lets you know that his wife will be tagging along as well. great.

they get to your house around 3pm. you welcome them in and take them to the living area. bakugou mentions he brought something over for hana and went back to the car. leaving you and raya alone. you sit there kind of quietly while hana is wearing headphones watching her tablet. raya observes the girl, “hm.. are you even sure its his? she looks a little.. slow,” she says nonchalantly. you stare in disbelief at her, shocked she’d even say that straight to your face. “excuse me?”

“its a cute baby of course, kats’ genes really tried their best but..” she pauses “i can just imagine how pretty our baby girl is gonna be- you know with that being said, i'd really appreciate it if you kind of backed off. he needs to be an attentive father to our baby, not yours. i don't need to be worried about some desperate baby momma.’’ you scoff, you had enough of this wench disrespecting you and your child in your own home. without thinking you end up over your coffee table landing a smack across her face. she yelps in pain and hold her face like it was the most precious thing ever. “what you are not about to do is come up in my house and disrespect me and my daughter. you can get the fuck out.”

she immediately ran outside to katsuki, leaving you alone with a dumbstruck hana. you ignored the little girl's curious expression and just simply ran your hands through your hair. it wasn't too long after before you heard daunting footsteps headed your way. “what the fuck did you do? yer gonna let me bring my wife up in here just to disrespect ‘er? why the fuck of all people are you calling her a tramp ‘nd sayin she got sloppy seconds? of all people. i'm trying real hard to be in my daughter's life but yer being a real bitch about it.” without letting you say anything he drops a gift bag and leaves. leaving you once again, and leaving you speechless.

__

later that night you drop your daughter off with her grandparents and go see your old friend, eijirou kirishima. you two usually caught up at least once a month. drink a little, laugh a little, indulge a little. he's been such a great friend, so supporting and always there for you. even occasionally watching hana for you. but today you two are all alone, and both a little too drunk for either of your liking. it starts off with friendly peckish little neck kisses, short playful pecks on the lips. nothing you two haven't explored before.

but tonight something was different. you expressed to him how stressful things were today with what happened with katsukis wife. he told you he’d make you feel better and you just kind of brushed it off. but now it's hard to brush it off when he's knuckles deep inside of you, working his fingers deeper and deeper inside. you just throw your head back against his plush couch letting the pleasure take you away. “eijirou.. please,” you whine. he shoots you a toothy grin with half hooded eyes. “please what? you can use your words, i know you can.” you whine more while he works his fingers into your special spot. once you finish he pulls out grinning; leaving you blissed out with arousal apparent by his print visible.

he gets you a ride home, both too intoxicated to drive anywhere. he opens the door for you then hugs and kisses you goodnight. you get home and go to sleep.

when you wake up the next morning your head is pounding and your phone is blowing up. the most alarming test came from your mother

: “How could you be so stupid?”

: “Letting the press see you getting so personal with someone”

: “Theres photos of you and that Kirishima boy going around of you kissing”

you dont get why it was such a big deal. you didn't even care, with your parents being famous pro-heroes everything you've done since birth has been documented. it's tiring and after your daughter's birth you stopped caring. Doing whatever you wanted regardless of the paparazzi, but them following you over to kirishima's house was ridiculous. The second text you read was from bakugou;

: “Out of all of my friends you go for him?”

: “You didnt feel the need to tell me about this?”

: “Really ??? Eijirou? Has he been around Hana?”

you got kind of upset at his messages more than you did your mom. what did it matter to him, he doesnt get to control who you talked to. he’s not your boyfriend nor your dad. you leave him on read and you scroll through your twitter feed. filled with photos of you and kirishima kissing. “PRO-HERO MIYU and YUIKA SUZUKI CHILD CAUGHT MAKING OUT WITH PRO-HERO RED RIOT” you sigh and almost turn your phone off but see another set of messages from bakugou, was he jealous?

[tinytalkingtina]

Not a "Big Deal"

Written for the @strangerthingswritersguild kinktober day 21 prompt "ride" Rating: E (18+ only please) | ~1.3k words | Ao3 link

A sequel to Not Your "Cute Little Button" from day 10 (either can be read as a standalone though, just wanted to give these two a chance to let Eddie top in the micropenis AU <3)

Tags: Steve/Eddie, Eddie has a micropenis, mutual insecurities, blow job, fluff/smut/comfort, anal sex, Top Eddie/Bottom Steve, Steve's oral fixation continues to be happily fulfilled, modern AU, bisexual Eddie and Steve (it's not brought up in this one but I want it to be known lol), no feminization, the boys fall hard for one another

Many thanks to steddiecameraroll-graphics for the divider!

Eddie stared at the box of condoms, half expecting it to explode at any moment. The packaging claimed they were good for a “snug fit.” As if that would preserve his dignity for being too small to buy normal sizes. Belatedly, he realized Steve had continued talking after he had walked in and slapped the incriminating object onto the counter like it was nothing:

“I figured the kind I usually use probably wouldn't fit on you so uh, I got these? The lady at the store said they'd work fine unless you were super thick.” Of course Steve would have no problem asking someone what to buy for a tiny dick.

“You…you really want me on top?” Eddie asked. Steve nodded eagerly.

“Are you sure? It's okay if you don’t, it might not feel super good if I can't reach your prostate and you should feel good, it takes two to tango after all, right? Not that I'm saying I don't want to, because holy shit, you have a ‘well-turned ass’ as a French peasant would say, or maybe they wouldn't say that because it's too lustful and the Church of course—”

“Hey,” Steve interrupted his ramblings before he could launch into a wildly off-topic tangent about medieval Catholic guilt. “Weren't you just saying last week that the rim is a, what's the word, erroneous zone?"

“Erogenous,” Eddie wheezed, his face bright red.

Steve snapped his fingers.

“Oh yeah that's it, erogenous! When you do that thing with your tongue I see fucking stars man, so why wouldn't your dick feel the same? Don’t think we’re gonna have a problem though. Your fingers are shorter, and they've definitely managed to reach my prostate. If the play ends up not working then we'll regroup and try out another one, yeah? Change up the position.”

Eddie squinted at his boyfriend.

“Are you trying to give me a pep talk like this is the championship ball game and I'm the next guy up at bat to make free throws?”

“First of all, you know they’re called home runs, you came to two games when my kids made the playoffs, and second of all I don't know what you're talking about,” Steve said, like a lying liar. "It's working on you though, isn't it?"

“…A little.”

“Good.” Steve gave him a confident smirk, and G-d, Eddie had never been more attracted to the man. “Get undressed already so I can blow you first. Want you to last if I'm gonna ride.”

He eagerly followed him to the bedroom, leaving shed clothes in their wake without a second thought. Two months of dating and Steve lavishing compliments on him any chance he got meant that Eddie's instinctive self-consciousness about someone seeing him nude was finally giving up the ghost.

After one enthusiastic blow job—holy shit did his boyfriend love having something in his mouth when there was no risk of gagging—Eddie was rather proud of the valiantly quick rally on the part of his dick, eager to get to the main event of the afternoon. 

Steve pushed him onto his back against the pillows. Impatiently, he rolled the condom down and slathered on some lube before straddling Eddie’s legs. They both moaned as Steve slowly lowered himself, relaxing quickly.

A whispered “fuck!” escaped his mouth as he bottomed out and without pause began to frantically bounce straight up and down.

“Feels okay sweetheart?” Eddie had to check, even if another part of him continued to thrust in time to match Steve’s movements.

“Yes. See, I ohhh, told you so,” he said breathlessly, giggling when Eddie stuck out his tongue in retaliation. Steve was so beautiful like this, lit up in gold by the setting sun, chasing his pleasure with abandon.

As his boyfriend rode him ever faster, Eddie had to concentrate on not coming for a second time so soon. He grabbed Steve’s hips when he finally lost his balance and collapsed onto his chest, stomach muscles trembling from the effort of keeping himself upright for so long.

The movement was too much though, and Eddie felt himself slip out enough for Steve to whine in protest.

“Shit, lost it,” he said, desperately trying to find his prostate again from this angle, but it was no use like this. The bitter voice at the back of his head got louder and more insistent the longer he took. Steve was going to leave him now, he couldn’t satisfy him. He’d be nice about it probably, let him pick up the things he’d left in his apartment but—

“Eddie?” A hand to his face shook him out of the spiral. “Do you wanna stop?” Steve’s thumb brushed his cheek and came back wet.

“N-no but I’m so s-sorry, I can’t make you feel good.” Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and stilled his hips. “I can blow you or eat you out, whatever you want, just let me get rid of the condom and—.”

He let out a yelp when Steve suddenly flipped them over without pulling off, and locked his legs behind Eddie’s back.

“If you don’t want to stop, can you tell your brain to shut up? Told you we might just need to change the position.” He huffed out. “Come on, what I want is for your abs to get a workout instead of mine now.”

It took a few seconds for Eddie to process what Steve had said. But another bitchy demand had him get with the program. He hitched Steve’s legs higher over his shoulders before grinding down. Better able to move like this, it wasn’t long before:

“Yes, there, right there, please don’t stop!” Steve writhed underneath him, openly moaning as his hand drifted closer to his dick, where it slapped against his stomach with every thrust.

“There you go,” Eddie panted. “So gorgeous, so good for me.”

Steve moaned louder and looked up at him with pleading eyes. His lips, still slightly puffy from the earlier blow job were so inviting. Eddie gave into his impulses and stuck a couple fingers into Steve’s mouth. His boyfriend sucked them down and hummed happily. The sight had Eddie careening straight towards an orgasm. He just barely managed to hold it off while babbling:

“There you go, just needed to be filled up on both ends huh?” Steve frantically nodded. “That’s good sweetheart, take what you need, you’re so tight around me holy shit.”

It didn’t take much more encouragement for Steve to finally stiffen and come. Squeezed from all sides, Eddie pretty soon followed him over the edge.

Later, after they’d wiped themselves off and changed into clean clothes, Steve curled up in his arms like a giant contented house cat. Eddie considered letting three words slip from his lips, ones that he hadn’t quite worked up the guts to let out just yet.

“Thank you,” he settled for instead. “You’re kind of a mensch when it comes to dealing with my shit, you know that right?”

Steve didn’t open his eyes, just nuzzled further into his neck as he snorted. “I’ve dealt with worse shit than yours. ‘sides, it’s worth it, you make me happy. I'm gonna start yelling at your brain to fuck off with the bullying,” he continued. “Not too good to fight it to get the point across for someone I lo-like. Someone I like a lot.”

Steve heartbeat plucked out a staccato rhythm against his chest from his slip-up.

Eddie placed a kiss on his forehead and held him tighter, hoping it conveyed the intended meaning. Someday soon, he’d find the courage. 

Because Steve was worth it too.

Author's Notes, aka some irrelevant G-rated world building for this AU: -Steve is an activity coordinator at the local YMCA and coaches Little League. His team didn't win the playoffs that year, but they were very excited to be there! -Eddie is a session musician. Wayne has a display of the albums he's appeared on in his trailer, right under the mug collection.

[youngbloodlisk]

parade day - enhypen bias x reader, fluff

the bias isn't actually in it all that much, but just like trust me lol

applicable for any enha member, no name stated, though if you feel it's a bit ooc for your member of choice to say certain things feel free to alter it a little in your own mind to make it fit better!

I shiver, feeling like an ice block from the inside out, despite the amount of layers on my body and the hot drink in my gloved hands.

I breathe out air warmer than my surroundings, granting me the appearance of a steam cloud coming from my mouth.

As I take a drink from my paper cup, I can't help but wonder to myself why Thanksgiving has to be in November. And why parades have to be outdoors. And why I had to be here so early in the morning just to stand here for hours.

Then, my phone buzzes in my pocket. Not just a generic vibration, but the custom vibration that he set for himself on my phone. 'So I always know it's him before I even look.'

⁃ how's the crowd

He's such an ass. He's currently inside, waiting for the staff to tell him to go out and board the float. Inside. He's inside. In the heat.

⁃ cold, dick. how's the nice warm heated building 🤩

⁃ lovely, thank you.

⁃ no but fr ur not too cold right? you have jackets on?

⁃ i can send someone to u with my jacket if u need it

⁃ did you get the drink u said u we're gonna get?

⁃ yes yes yes I have jackets I have my drink im fine lmao

He might be kind of an ass but he's so sweet.

⁃ ok good.

⁃ only a few hours!

⁃ after we pass by the main part you can leave baby

⁃ ik you said you were gonna wait around for me but you don't have to

⁃ I don't need you freezing your ass off

⁃ THAT would be tragic. r.i.p. ass

I can't help but roll my eyes.

⁃ you're such a perv

⁃ woah rude!

Instead of responding, I slide my phone back into my pocket. I don't really have anything else to say at the moment. If I tell him straight up that I WILL be waiting until the end of the parade for him, he'll just whine about how I don't have to.

And now I stand. And wait...

And I waited for about 5 hours. We had to be here at 4:30 in the morning, both for him to get where he needed to go with his members and for me to get an absolutely prime spot in the crowd. The parade didn't actually start until about 9:30.

It's not every day that your boyfriend performs in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Longest five hours of my life, but whatever. He better not mess up the choreography after all this shit or I'm gonna be pissed.

Not really, it would actually be pretty funny. But the point is- this is pretty exhausting. Especially since I'm here all by myself.

Other members have partners, but they either couldn't come out for the parade or they don't like me. Not kidding, they seriously just don't like me that much. But that's okay! I don't particularly like them either. Anyways, all that resulted in me being here alone, without anybody to talk to to pass time.

But whatever. Whatever! It's over. The agonizingly boring five hours is over, and the parade is finally starting.

The float I'm really here for is a few floats and balloons back, but the parade feels like it moves quickly, so it doesn't seem to take very long at all.

The big Baby Shark float approaches and I see him already trying to find me in the crowd.

"Excuse me, could my daughter stand in front of you? Just for this performance?" A woman asks from behind me. I look next to her and see a young girl, probably about 10 or 11, holding a picket with my boyfriend's face on it.

She looks like this is the best day of her life. She isn't even looking at me, like she doesn't even care if she has the best view of the group. Just being here and seeing them is enough to fill her with pure joy.

"Of course! Of course she can!"

"Oh, thank you so much." She prompts her daughter to move forward as I scoot back a bit to make room for her. "She loves these boys, she's been talking about it for days. Thank you."

"It's no problem at all." I turn my attention to the young girl. "Is he your favorite?" I point to her picket.

She nods, excitedly.

"He's so pretty."

"He really is. He's my favorite too."

I look up again, seeing that he's still trying to find me. I wave with all my might, willing him to spot me, and soon enough he does. As soon as I have his attention, I frantically point to the girl who is now holding her picket up and waving at him. He leans down a bit to indicate that he's changed his attention to her as he smiles, waves at her, and sends a hand heart in her direction.

She squeals and jumps up and down.

"He saw me!! He saw me!! Mama, he saw me!! He gave me a heart!"

The cute little girl continues to freak out, making me worry slightly that she might just explode, as the float stops and the guys climb down, getting ready to perform.

There was some benefit to getting here so early. The performances are all directly in front of me (and this little girl, who I feel some level of community with at the moment.)

The hosts finish up their introductory stuff about the float, the movie, and the group, and the Baby Shark music begins to play (soon transitioning into the Keep Swimmin' Through tune.)

I watch him intently, full of pride for him and his success with the group.

I know he can't entirely take this seriously. It's a song for a Baby Shark movie. It's not like it's the most serious of performances in the first place. But I also know that deep down he can't believe he's here either. He can't believe he's doing this. He'd probably agree to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star acapella if it meant he got to be in such a big event that few kpop groups have been in.

The group does a great job. Of course they do. None of them mess up the choreography, so I remain not pissed off. (Lol)

After the performance, they simply walk off next to the float, but my boyfriend makes sure to send a quick flying kiss to both me and the little Engene in front of me before leaving the main square.

"He saw me again!!" She squeals.

"That's great, honey!" Her mother says before whispering to me, "Do you know that boy or something? He seemed to know you?"

I laugh a bit.

"Yes, ma'am. He's my boyfriend."

"Oh my! Oh, you must be very proud of him."

"You have no idea."

The rest of the parade is uneventful, just nice entertainment.

When it ends, I say goodbye to the little Engene and her mom, and seek out a heated place as fast as possible. I'm finally able to find a store nearby that is both open and not too busy. I wait in that store until my boyfriend is released from his duties and able to text me where to find him.

When I finally do leave and find him, he hugs me tighter than usual and holds on longer than usual.

"Are you alright?" I ask, slightly concerned.

"So cold. You're so warm."

I laugh, though I understand. I have to pry him off of me, taking a second to kiss his cold lips.

"You guys did great. Was it fun?"

"Yeah, it was. Less fun though and more just... just a really crazy experience."

"I bet. Did you see a lot of Engenes throughout the parade?"

"Yeah! A lot more than I expected. They really showed out. That little girl in front of you was adorable."

"You're her bias, and I think your heart and kiss made her entire day. Month. Life, possibly."

"Well, I wouldn't have seen her and made her entire life if it wasn't for you."

He takes my hands and pulls me close to him, bringing his face near to mine.

"It really is all thanks to me, isn't it? Technically, maybe /I/ made her entire life. You were just the tool."

"Mhm, mhm. Sure..." He trails off, pressing his lips into mine in a much deeper way than the short kiss earlier.

I feel a warmth run through my body, like the warmth of his kiss is being injected into my veins.

He cuts it off suddenly, staying close enough for his lips to still brush against mine. We utter a sentence each before resuming the kiss.

"Thank you for coming and standing out in the cold just for me."

"Baby, I'm so proud of you."

[cookinguptales]

frank discussion of gynecological issues and frustrations with OBGYNs (especially re: chronic illness) under the cut, but I guess also potentially useful information for people who want to hear about it

so... some of you might remember when I was going to OGBYNs a little while ago. I have endometriosis and PMDD diagnoses, so going to OBGYNs isn't exactly unusual for me, but I ended up going to see more than I usually do.

this was largely because the hormonal therapy that I was taking for those disorders was starting to fail and I was bleeding a lot. like... for weeks at a time over a period of months. I had to deal with some... frustrating OBGYN advice in this time (such as the rage-inducing "well, women have to bleed") but I also discovered that like... I mean, I think I always knew that I had more vaginal pain than other people I know, but a lot of things hurt me so I just kind of... ignored it?

but they tried to put me on the nuva ring for a little while during this period and my body just... straight-up rejected it. it hurt like a bitch to put in, it kept coming out, I could feel it in there and it hurt, etc.

I ended up comparing notes with some other people I know and realized that my problems with insertion were probably more severe than I'd thought. like, it is not unusual for me to cry during pap smears and have cramping for days afterward. I cannot use tampons without massive pain. your body is not really supposed to physically expel something like a nuva ring several times a day. tmi I guess but I have not found penetration of any kind pleasant.

so I talked to... I want to say four or five different OBGYNs in this period, and none of them gave me a real reason for this. the prevailing attitude was mostly "oh yeah, that happens sometimes. lmao."

the best I could get was a diagnosis of "vaginismus" on my chart, and when I pressed for more information, they basically told me it was a psychological thing where your body is afraid of penetration so it clenches up and won't unclench. they literally grilled me on my history of sexual abuse to see if they could find the source of my dick phobia.

now... not to get too into it, but I do have a history of CSA -- but my pain problems predate it. I got my period relatively early and I've never been able to use tampons or anything like them. every time I've tried has ended in literal tears. again, cramping pain for days, even after the period itself has stopped.

so I get the dick phobia diagnosis from two different doctors, but one of them says she can do a transvaginal ultrasound if I'm really worried. we do this and it is uh. excruciating, honestly. thank god it was in California and they let me get high as a kite.

in the end, they can't find anything "physically" wrong with why I'm in pain and they send me on my way, dick phobia dx in hand.

today. today. YEARS later. I am googling tips on how to try a menstrual cup if you have vaginismus (prep for the trip abroad; I don't like Japanese pads) and I see someone saying "oh, I'm glad that treatment worked for you, my problems are because of ehlers-danlos syndrome."

you know, one of the chronic illnesses I have and one that I divulged to every OBGYN I saw.

what.

paging Dr. Google!!!

I come to find out that folks that have EDS, because of their connective tissue issues and extremely brittle skin, sometimes deal with extreme gynecological pain. it's partially pelvic floor issues, partially the fact that the skin in your vagina is breaking.

so all those times that I said "it feels like it's cutting me" or "it feels like knives" were probably because it was fucking cutting me. all those times I said I felt scraped raw for days was probably because abrasions take a long time to heal when you have EDS.

I cannot believe. I cannot believe. that I went into so many different OBGYNs who told me that my pain issues were because I had a psychological fear of dicks and when I told them I was a lesbian were like "oh well then problem solved" when actually my body was physically tearing. I had even seen blood sometimes and it had always been dismissed as spotting.

the anger I feel rn is indescribable, tbh. I never bought that my problems were all in my head (probably because doctors used that line on me so often when I was a kid and getting other chronic illnesses diagnosed) but the fact that gynecological health science is still so fucking awful that we shrug off pain that is the symptom of dangerous chronic illnesses as "well that happens sometimes" or "have you considered that maybe you're afraid of sex?"

I JUST

this reminds me of when I had to find out from a fucking tumblr post that vaginal secretions are made from blood rather than glands, so if you have bad blood pressure/flow it'll often cause itchiness/dryness/pain. bad blood flow like... idk... maybe POTS.

so again, it was actually one of my known chronic illnesses causing gynecological issues, not any of the other bullshit reasons doctors were giving me, like age or stress.

I hate that I'm fucking 33 years old and I still have to learn stuff like this from google searches. I still don't know how my shitty body works, and it's largely because of stuff like this. what the fuck. I'm so mad. why do doctors still treat vaginas like a fucking scary mystery?

I'm well aware that Dr. Google doesn't always know what the fuck it's talking about, but apparently neither do my doctors! which is why, yet again, I'm up all night reading medical journals in the vain attempt to figure out how to actually live my life!

ugh!!!

[noodyl-blasstal]

A Work of Art

It's @taznovembercelebration day 16! Still goin'. Today's card was "laugh" and we got here somehow.

Read below or on Ao3, missed yesterday? Catch up here.

-

Kravitz has no idea why he agreed to this, no idea what kind of person he thought he was when he did. Kravitz: Comfortable Around Naked People; Kravitz: Chill About Crushes; Kravitz: The Most Regular Guy. In reality, he was none of the above.

“Sure, no problem, Taako, I’ll help you with your portfolio.” He’d said. Honestly, I’d do anything for you, no don’t test that theory, I know you want to. He’d meant.

“You’d like some body paint? Wonderful. That’ll be fine. You’re right, I am a good artist.” I’m sure you being half naked in close proximity to me won’t feature in any late night thoughts… or middle of the day thoughts… or morning thoughts. I know, I know, I swear I wasn’t like this before I met you.

“Oh, you’d like to do it fully nude? Yep, we’re both adults. That’s fine.” Taako, you cannot do this to me. I am going to die.

It was okay, actually, the art bit. He knew that it wasn’t sexual, knew that it was just for Taako’s modelling portfolio, knew that Taako had asked him because he was an artist, because Taako trusted him, there was no way he’d misplace that trust. But what he didn’t consider, what he should have considered, was the Taako-ness of it all.

They’d agreed to do it at Kravitz’s place because he actually paid for heating. Taako’s career was feast or famine and he refused to accrue any unnecessary bills. The fact he avoided these by hanging out at Kravitz’s when it was hot in Summer or cold in Winter hadn’t passed Kravitz by, but he also cooked, and ‘secretly’ stocked the fridge when Kravitz was snowed under by an avalanche of deadlines, and made the place feel so much friendlier that Kravitz was happy to pay slightly higher bills to account for the second person. Also, it meant that at least three of his neighbours thought they were together and it was nice that a version of them existed out there, comfortable and together and happy, just like Mauro and Imran, and The Carrots, and old Mrs Chen thought.

Taako had announced his presence (Kravitz gave him a key months ago, it seemed easier) by loudly asking: “Do you want to start with my dick, or my not dick?”

Which, honestly, Kravitz should have expected. But he struggled to find the I’m-Definitely-Not-In-Love-With-You-And-Only-Have-A-Friendship-Level-Interest-In-Your-Dick, honest, answer to Taako's question.

"Yes."It turned out, was not the best option because it gave Taako the chance to ask:

"Yes Taako's dick, or yes not Taako's dick?" And look at him with his perfect eyebrow quirked and his ridiculous smirk and his flushed cheeks making it look like maybe he felt weird about it too.

Obviously the answer was ‘yes Taako’s dick.’

"Either. Dick or not dick, that is. Whichever way you want." Was as much as he could manage in the being regular about this situation stakes, but it he was still convinced it would be okay, he could handle it. In fact, it’d probably get easier as it went.

Or maybe not, but even when Taako said, ‘oh, so you're happy to take Taako both ways?’ and touched his arm Kravitz managed to keep his (outward) composure.

What he couldn't have anticipated, whether he’d accounted for Taako’s inherent Taakoness or not, was the laughter.

Kravitz stoops, eye level with Taako's nipple, wondering exactly why Taako had decided to take all of his clothes off straight away even though they agreed Kravitz would start with Taako's arms and then move to his torso. He knew models had to be comfortable with nudity for shows, but Kravitz isn't a model, Kravitz is a man who is deeply in lust and is suffering.

Even still, adversity inspires creativity and there's a glorious swirling design sprouting from Taako's arm in golds and greens and pinks. It's beautiful, even if Kravitz does say so himself, which he does, because he's working on his confidence. Yes he's a good artist, yes he makes nice things, yes he can work up to asking out the very handsome man that basically lives with him at this point. He'll get there any minute now probably.

Right now though, right now, the fern leaves sprouting up from Taako's taught stomach (which Kravitz has definitely not had any inappropriately lustful thoughts about) are in peril because apparently Taako's torso is ticklish and apparently he didn't think it was worth mentioning that fact before Kravitz had to paint every inch of him with a brush. Every time Kravitz adds a brush stroke Taako shakes and snorts and attempts and fails to stand still and pretend nothing is happening.

“Taako, please. You have to stay still.”

“Cha’boy’s, snrk, trying.” Taako wiggles, leaving a broad stripe of green across his hip.

Kravitz reaches out and smudges it away with his thumb. He almost thinks he hears a hitch in Taako’s breath when he does, but it’s probably just that type of touch when it’s been a while. Last week Taako was lamenting how long it’d been since he’d gotten laid, apparently it was hard to find someone you could trust when you were on the cusp of being famous, hard to find a friend who you were interested in who was interested in you too, hard to find someone to be the ‘whole ass boyfriend’ Taako confessed to wanting. Kravitz could be all of that if Taako could just see it.

“Maybe you need to hold me down.” Taako suggests, as if he’s not proposing Kravitz restrains him while he’s naked and writhing. Is Taako trying to kill him? Is this a really bizzare assassination attempt?

“What do you mean?” Kravitz asks, clarification. Assassins have to tell you if you ask otherwise it’s entrapment. He’s fairly sure that’s how it works.

“If you just, like…” Taako lies down. “Straddle me here.” Taako indicates his hips. “That should do it.”

“Hrnk.” Says Kravitz’s traitor mouth, while his traitor body drops itself over Taako’s. It’s too late for his brain to do anything about it now.

This is bad. This is very bad… Although, actually, Taako looks pleased, so maybe it’s not that bad. Maybe Kravtiz’s weight is comforting, he’s like a weighted blanket! Plus, after a few brush strokes the ferns take shape again. Maybe it’s not so bad? If he can just keep his mind on the task at hand and not on Taako’s body it’ll be fine.

“So Krav, how’s this for you?” Taako squirms and snerks as another press of the brush winds across the centre of his chest.

“Good. Yep. Fine. Great actually.” Kravitz says, like a sane person, like a guy who didn’t have a crush on the person he was currently straddling and painting. The naked person he was currently straddling and painting.

There’s a pause, Taako fills it.

“How’s the weather up there?” Taako wriggles again as Kravitz adds gold accents and tries desperately to remember what Wiki How said about painting nipples.

“Warm.” Kravitz says, because he is. The temperature was cranked even higher than usual to make sure Taako was comfortable.

“You can take some clothes off too, you know, if you want.” Taako’s doing the faux nonchalant voice he does when he wants to have dessert but says it doesn’t matter.

“I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Kravitz says mildly. He’s let optimism carry him over cliff edges before. Taako’s vulnerable right now, he has to be careful.

“Taako would definitely be more comfortable if you were wearing less right now, handsome.” Taako says, like he’s confident, like he means it, and then he winks. Winks.

Some things are slotting into place in Kravitz’s head. The visits, the earnest talks, the compliments…

“Wait… Hold on… Taako, did you specifically do this to hit on me?”

Taako grins. “Is it working?”

“Maybe.”

“Then maybe.”

Kravitz considers his options. He wants to know. “It’s working.”

“You didn’t notice anything else I tried.”

“Well…” Kravitz doesn’t have a comeback, instead he uses every drop of courage that the stupid mirror affirmations gave him, leans down, and kisses Taako firmly on the mouth then sits up again. “How about that?”

“I’ve got a few more ideas about what you can do with your mou…”

“Nope! Don’t you dare suggest anything right now. We’ve got some art to finish. It’s for your portfolio.” Kravitz adds air quotes around the last bit, well, as best he can with a paintbrush in hand and dabs some more paint onto Taako.

“Fine, but you should definitely be wearing less too.”

Kravitz doesn’t finish his painting.

-

I hope you had a goodfun time. Wanna read more? Catch the next prompt here.

[anime-owo-kage-san]

Past Overlord Husk in the show

I've said this before, and I'll say it again--If we ever get a glimpse of an Overlord Husk past, I want him to be an ABSOLUTE shitty person in the show. Maybe not the worst person, considering that there are worse overlords and characters in general already. But I want him to be the kind of character that, once fans have dug up everything about who he used to be--they start comparing him with who he is now.

To be the type of character that receives controversy, because some fans couldn't handle nor couldn't imagine a suave wise bartender, being a total dick.

Something like the Pink Diamond plot twist (Steven Universe has been around for years, I'm sure there's no need for a spoiler warning, right?)---Most fans that I've seen couldn't handle a complex woman like Rose Quartz, that there were flat reviews of her character being straight up evil and a bad mother. (Okay, she kind of did leave her son with trauma. Even though she didn't mean to, she's just as responsible as everyone else in the show.)

But the point is, she received so much controversy because her redemption arc was shown backwards.

Order from Present-Past:

Literally almost every Disney mom (Sweet, loving, elegant, wise, and dead)

Rebel leader and war criminal

Was originally one of the antagonist, and a colonizer (was also a bit of whiney bitch back then)

If you arrange her arc by its timeline, then the real order is "3, 2, 1".

......

Okay back to Husk, it would actually be pretty cool if his character development was shown in reverse too.

In my opinion, he's already a decently developed person with who he is in present time right now. The only problem is being a drunkard (and still kinda addicted to gambling), but he's probably overall the most matured sinner in the hotel. He's been humbled down from his high horse, and gives good advice, through his own experience. (Sound familiar? --That's literally Rose lol.)

So if the show ever gives us some overlord Husk lore of before being shaped into the man he is now, I want him to be the opposite of how he usually behaves.

I want him to be irrational. I want him to be angry. I want him to be cocky, and overly confident.

But of course with some personal strength and silliness here and there. (He can't be a gamble-focused overlord if he has shit control of his tell. And you can't expect him to be evil all the time when he likes magic tricks; he'd probably be a silly magician once in a while, performing on his casino stage, blocking his own performers of the spotlight.)

And then, along with this shitty (yet hilarious) person, his downfall comes to get him; Maybe a man child tantrum when he isn't viewed or respected like the other overlords because gambling is luck based, and not always a guaranteed business. And Husk's business is pretty small. ---In fact, I want a flashback scene of him yelling at another overlord (I'm picturing Carmilla for this because it would be funny if it was) for refusing to trade or sell a piece of their territory that they haven't even touched in years;

Husk: *slams his fist on the table* "I don't get, why the fuck you won't sell it?! I know very well you've only rose in ranks to keep your little brats safe. Your own home is secure enough, that you barely bother with your other obtained territories! Why keep that single chunk of land to collect falling exterminated corpses, when you can hand it to someone who'd actually make use of it! Hoarding bitches like you are the reasons why people like me can't expand their business!"

Carmilla: *slams giant-ass hands on the table * "Maybe I don't want to hand it over to an immature manchild and a sorry excuse for an overlord! --It's true that I own plenty of land that I barely make use of, but here's the thing Husker... I earned it! I've worked to get my hands on what I have and could give to my family, rather than harrassing other overlords to hand over their property! I apologize, that you seem to be one of the lower ranks. But if you want to be treated like an overlord... start acting like one."

*Cue rage quitting scene when Husk gets back to his casino.*

......

Okay this is awkward, idk how to end this post. I'm sure you all get it anyway.

[flesh]

i'm not respondning to the anon itself SOLELY due to you outting me in the very last part of it you could have at least sent that separately since you obviously are either close enough to me, or have observed me enough to understand that i would never want to post that kind of trauma specifically and publicly so, if you were hoping i'd post that little "callout" then you should really not have added the last bit, but i have no problem responding to the rest of it with a simple fucking shut the fuck up.

"There's more to the world than "omg women are abused so we have to defend anyone with a menstrual cycle!!!" It's not as simple as that and you should know better."

you quite fucking literally lost me there. like seriously. i have nothing else to even say to anything you said if this is how you're thinking. cause yeah what the fuck? we do need to be defending anyone with a menstrual cycle/anyone with xx chromosomes cause hi? are you stupid? are you an idiot? they're the most universally oppressed people on the planet. end of debate. please suck my fucking goins. you are stupid and not worth responding to any further because you have absolutely zero comprehension of my plight and are clearly a boring ass TRA so you are out of your realm of understanding. i am a smarter person than you

"there's more to the world" like what exactly do you mean by that? bc in an extremely literal sense i understand that and have 24 straight hours of debating on behalf of heterosexual women that can't realistically and happily achieve seperatism to back it up. i can still understand individualism and stay off both the killallmen and notallmen trains at the same time. like no one can convince me i'm not the most grass touching person i know on this website (beyond very small amount of mutuals) lmfao sorry. i have a great deal of life experience and have been through enough to take myself seriously and not give a fuck if other people don't. i am fully aware that there is more to the world beyond the very strong ideals of my feminism. but hahahahahahahaha men still can't be women and women still can't be men and i don't want a dick in the same bathroom as my daughter with no discernment or question. you can continue to send me anons about it... OR YOU CAN COME KILL ME....

lastly.... post 2020? my digital footprint is EPIC. don't care. applebees isn't gonna fire me cause i made terf posts on tumblr. this has already been tested. me and my managers laughed and i was ego-boosted by what you're making look like serious internet fame and relevance

[invisiblegarters]

Only Friends Ranking - EP 2

Genuinely didn't think that I would be doing this this week, but well. Things have changed. A bit. And I have a ton of thoughts that might turn out to be very wrong, lol.

Favorite Characters (Most to Least Fave atm)

Sand - Look, he isn't moving. I know this, you know this. He'd have to do some extremely heinous shit or be epically boring for me to move him from my top spot, and I don't foresee either of those things happening. I adore him, your honor. He's setting himself up to get his heart broken and a part of him seems to know that and yet he's still going straight for it. He's the moth, Ray is the bug zapper, and he'll be very lucky if he gets out of this mildly singed and not burnt to a crisp.

But. Just a mild observation here. Forthright as this dude is - and he is very forthright, he says what he thinks and how he feels - anyone else noticed that he doesn't tend to get personal? We got Ray here talking about his mom, Top talking about the fire, even Nick and Boston opening up about their dreams and Nick about his curly headed past (I bet he was adorable). But two characters have notably said not a fucking thing. Sand is one of them. All we know about this dude from his own mouth is that he's poor and that he's an equal opportunity kind of lover (and I love that last thing for him, I really do). I just get the sense that there's some capital I Issues happening with him.

And I know we love his big doe eyes, but anyone else seeing something a little calculating in there or am I just reaching (I am probably reaching, but I desperately need him to be about more than his unrequited feelings for Ray going forward)?

Mew - this dude. This dude. Speaking of calculating - and speaking of people we know next to nothing about. Look I don't think he's a Machiavellian mastermind - yet. I still hold true to my opinion that he's a game player who has never had to deal with actual feelings getting involved and that once they do it's gonna be bad, both in the protect him sense and in the sense that he's going to be taking a wrecking ball to every single person in his vicinity (and hopefully doing it with glee. And I'm back to thinking he's keeping Ray on the back burner, lol. This ep made me think no but the preview made me think yes (oh don't worry I know Boston is planting jealousy seeds in Top's ears that I'm not even sure he really believes - he knows about Ray's crush but well, I'm not getting anything from Mew. But there's just a certain way Mew treats Ray that just...makes me think he likes the attention. NO judgement, honestly. Ray's feelings are his own problem).

I said already that he has different personas with everyone he talks to. For Chueam he's the flustered, almost overwhelmed naive virgin. For Boston he's this weird mix of guarded and vulnerable. For Ray he's the oblivious and appreciative BFF. And for Top he's this sassy, smart, sexy but still innocent and slightly wary almost boyfriend. All those things are very probably facets of his true self, but I'm fascinated with how he puts them on and takes them off for people.

Boston - there's just something going on here. I don't even know if he wants Top at this point, but he very definitely doesn't want Mew to have Top. I think he feels like he and Mew are in a competition - not just for Top's affection or dick or whatever, but in general. Mew represents the antithesis of everything Boston is - he's the guy who wants the commitment, who wants the trappings. Boston is not. But I think deep down Boston knows that Mew is the guy that's gonna get the intrigue. Mew is the gold standard. He's the good one that you bring home, that you settle down with. And I think that Boston feels more threatened by that than he does by Top, specifically, wanting him.

I also feel like Boston wants to prove that in the end, all anyoen cares about is getting their dick wet. I'm not seeing finer feelings here, I'm seeing resentment of the way Mew chooses to live his life, and that is SO much more interesting to me than him being in love.

If anyone is our Brian Kinney, it's Boston. And honestly, this ep made me think that Nick might actually be his Justin and that is weird af to me.

Ray - by far the biggest surprise. I thought I'd go the other way with him. Khaotung strikes again, I guess. I don't actually like him, tbh, and I am very frustrated by the woobification happening in fandom, but oh is this one interesting.

Don't think that I didn't clock that liquor next to his mom. My first thought was sue of side, but well, drinking yourself to death is a form of that, isn't it? Just a slower one. And now her son is following in her footsteps, like he inherited her issues with alcohol the same way he did her records. And I think he knows it, and that's tragic af.

He's exactly as needy as I knew he would be, too. And frankly, I'm interested in his substance abuse problem - clearly he goes in and out of it, if Mew's comment about his flask was any indication. And that small sips line? Yeeeah, that's bad. That's really bad. I knew they'd give Khaotung meat to chew on.

Top - I KNOW. I never thought he'd get above number six either. But I kind of feel for him? It's not even about the fire trauma. It's that I think that he's actually struggling against himself to be what Mew says he wants, and that fascinates me a little. He's as bad as Ray in his own way, and that's so interesting to me.

I think he's gonna cave and do the easy thing because the easy thing is familiar and because Boston's gonna drip enough poison in his ear about Mew and Ray (and he's seen enough of the way Ray and Mew are with each other) to make him doubt, plus Mew's testing him is gonna grate. But do I think that inherently makes him evil? Nah, not really. I can't abide a cheater personally so I won't be sad if Mew just wrecks him and they don't wind up getting back together or whatever, but I'm not gonna pretend I can't see why it's happening, either.

Nick - sorry but he was boring this ep. I want to see him create some havoc or be a little messier. Right now he's just kinda making me sad and I want him to be more than crushed dreams, lol.

Chueam - look Lookjun hot and Nonnie adorable but I need more out of her please. Is she really just gonna be the mom friend/cheerleader, because if so I hate that for her. Jojo let the lesbians fuck at the very least, please.

Relationships (most to least fave)

This is basically the same as last week, really. Except this week I see way more potential in BostonNick actually turning into something and way less in SandRay.

Specifically, I feel like there's potential for Nick to blindside Boston. Boston isn't harboring feelings for someone else, I don't think. He just thinks that feelings are useless, that fucking is what's important, and I think that's how Nick might actually slide in. Boston doesn't know the danger he could be in because he doesn't even think to look for it.

And as for SandRay, well...I know that Khaotung and First's chemistry is amazing, okay. I'm not blind. But when it comes to these characters...Ray sees Sand as a possession, something he can control, if not with money (which he tries first, remember), then with sex. He is very much just using Sand to fill a gap. Things are gonna get very rough when Sand goes back to reasserting his own personhood, I think. Because while I do think that Sand's gonna be an idiot, I do see a core of steel in him which makes me think he will only bend for Ray for so long, and that's when Ray's gonna turn mean.

Look, I know people like Ray. I've been people like Ray. Trust me when I say that man knows what he wants from Sand and his heart has nothing to do with it. Ray will let go of his thing for Mew only if he's forced to, he's gonna cling to it against all odds, and until he stops there's never gonna be room for anyone else. He won't let there be. Sand's gonna get his heart trampled and it's gonna hurt a lot.

I will say this: if Ray stops being so forward with Sand, that's how you'll know real feelings are creeping in. He can afford to beg him and cajole him and pester him because his feelings aren't engaged and it doesn't matter if he looks stupid or if Sand thinks he's pathetic or turns him down. He ever gets to the point where that stops happening, then I'll believe things are changing.

Besides that, that man doesn't need a lover, he needs a therapist (very probably both of them do). But if he can't or won't do that, my honest to god hope is that when he and Sand implode they actually manage to salvage a real friendship out of it. That's currently my best case scenario for those two.

Also I want Top and Sand to smash. Give it to me in the present or in flashbacks don't care how I want it now.

In Conclusion

I thought this week's ep was better than last. Didn't think that it would come for me as hard as it did but there you go. I had way too many thoughts about everything and everyone and I'm not even sure I'm halfway correct but I've haven't had the urge to study every expression and write so many thoughts down about a drama since My Beautiful Man. So make of that what you will.

I am so excited to see what people come up with this week. So many of you are so much better at this than me and it's so fun to see what everyone comes up with. :D

[tippitytap]

On Harry Styles' 'queer icon' status and the problem it bears

Fair warning: I went a little off the rails and this is going to be looooong. I don't expect anyone to read it, but a little forehead kiss to everyone who does actually sit through the entire thing. Mwah.

Alrighty. Let's get to it:

The past three years in particular, but also ever since 1D days, there has been many, many, many conversations and opinions on Harry Styles, his love life and his status as a so-called 'queer icon.' (I personally don't agree with that term for him, but it's what people sometimes call him, so...) People who don't know a lot about Harry, straight and queer people alike, have pointed out countless times how he is hurting and appropriating the queer community, profiting off of us, not standing up enough for us, and so forth. Those voices are almost always met with an uproar from his fandom, shouting on about how Harry does not owe his label to anyone and how he is allowed to dress the way he dresses without having to publicly claim a group he belongs to, be that sexual orientation or gender identity.

And while I do think his fandom is right to do so *to a certain degree*, I think they also quickly shut down many conversations we really should have as a fandom, as a society, as a queer community and I don't like how a lot of harries don't create the space to have these important discussions.

I think there is a disconnect in the two conversations - conversation A being what the general public and media want to say, conversation B being what the fandom wants to say - and they're both valid discussions but they don't necessarily answer to each other. I think it starts with what Harry Styles has actually *done* over the years:

This is an incomplete list of all the things Harry has *done* over the years, but they're the ones brought up most often. I will exclude the things he has *said* after having been asked about his sexuality directly because I will talk about that later. In no particular order, Harry Styles has: used gender-neutral pronouns to talk about his 'ideal' partner, very publicly grown into his sex and love life as an adult man, hooked up with various women (here: either dated them in actuality or presented himself as a couple with those women for the media), said 'female' is 'not that important' as a trait for things he looks for in a lady, experimented with fashion (starting as soon as he felt comfortable to do so/ was allowed to do so outside the band), continued to have fun with clothes and sometimes wore things that are deemed outlandish - extravagant - colourful - gender neutral or 'belonging' to the female sex - sexy (as in he has sex appeal in those clothes), appeared on the cover of Vogue wearing a ballgown as well as a skirt in another part of the photoshoot, waved pride flags that fans have thrown on stage, made various speeches about how he supports all of us no matter who we want to be, wore nail polish, wore pride pins or other rainbow items (particularly in 2017/18), wore a necklace around his neck with a banana that looks like a dick, wrote songs based on his life experiences without ever stating who those songs were about, and he has played a gay man in a movie role. So far for things Harry has *done*.

What most (not all, but most) of these things have in common in my opinion is that Harry does them without feeling the need to justify himself on it. He does what he enjoys, and he kind of doesn't give a fuck about whether there is an appropriate and socially-accepted label for it or not. Harry doesn't wear dresses to tell anyone he isn't cis or he's gay, and I don't think he wears dresses to break gender-norms and be a role model - he wears them because he liked how they looked, enjoyed how he looked in them, and it was fun. I don't think that is a crime, and I also think that cis-het men are allowed to wear dresses or nail polish just as much as anybody else in this world. If you don't agree with this, then your problem is not Harry Styles, your problem is somewhere else entirely and, quite frankly, we will never agree on this unless you change your mind because I certainly won't.

Now, I think the fundamental problem is that a lot of people are not very good at accepting people just do things for fun or that they do things that lie outside their category of 'normal, acceptable societal behaviour' without having a 'reason' for it. (With reason I mean that many people couldn't accept certain behaviour from people, but when they know that the person is gay for example, they can 'blame' it on that. I don't support this, but I've seen it happen way too many times to deny it isn't a real thing that happens all the time.) People *want* to say 'Look, Harry Styles is wearing a dress on the Vogue cover! He does that because he's gay!' This is the point where I would find it acceptable for the fandom to chime in with their conversation and patiently explain that, actually, you don't need to be queer to do any of these things, and you especially don't need to publicly label yourself as queer to do these things.

However, the general public has moved on from that and I would like to argue that they also kind of don't give a fuck about Harry's past, what he said ten years ago, or even what he said in a setting that only ever reached the fandom. They care about what is in the big media, and they care about what is *currently* happening. And they're not satisfied with the fandom's answer of 'he doesn't owe us an explanation' which is why they prod and ask until we get to the point where we also have a category of the things Harry has *said*.

To this, I want to make a petty disclaimer as a fangirl before I go further because a lot of people have used the things he has *said* as their evidence to why he is a bad person/queerbaiter/etc. but:  If you had never asked him, he would have never said any of those things. If it were just okay to be himself without this incessant need for a label, you wouldn‘t have half the arguments you love to use to call him out. We know Harry isn't the best public speaker, and I find it a little vile to hold people to this level of accountability over things they said when you specifically cornered them into this corner and you *wanted* them to say something fucked up. It doesn't mean I support everything he has said in those situations, but there is a line imo that we shouldn't cross. At one point, you need to accept that he didn't have a good reaction in that moment and then move on. Okay, pettiness over.

As a huge Harry Styles fan, I have no problem admitting that some of the things he has said in those instances *were* fucked up, infuriating and purposefully misleading. I can 100% understand why he has said the things because I've been a fan for almost a decade and I know his patterns when it comes to interview replies, but my understanding of it doesn't make his answers into a good thing or gives him an excuse for them. Personally, I interpret his vagueness around the topic as many other fans do too and it means he is queer as well (or at the very least was questioning his sexual orientation at the moments of the interviews), but that still is an *interpretation* and I could end up being fully wrong one day, yeah. Maybe this is an instance of seeing the good versus seeing the bad in someone, accusing someone until proven innocent or rather giving them the benefit of the doubt. If you're wired to accuse rather than doubt, then I can't change you, as you can't change me for rather seeing the good in people. I don't think it makes your opinion superior to mine though.

I think it's totally valid for fans to defend Harry *to a certain point*. I want to emphasise the last point because I recognise that many fans also take it too far and defend him for things he shouldn't be defended for. I will never have that type of attitude about anyone, and I definitely think that that type of fan behaviour is very dangerous and problematic. Every single person on this planet makes mistakes, including my favourite artists. Their name does not - and should not - obtuse them from anything. Ever. At the same time, there's definitely things that the media likes to twist about Harry that look a lot different when you contextualise and explain them. And I'm glad the fans are doing that work because we all know Harry or his team won't ever say shit in their own defence.

I think it's also totally valid to question the things he has said, get a little angry over some things and demand a better explanation or conversation around it. Some things he has said *are* infuriating and contributing to an ongoing, harmful conversation about queer issues. That's not Harry's fault by any means (the harmful conversations I mean), but since his words do have a lot of reach, he also has to be aware of what people do with them and how they could potentially contribute to ongoing debates. Sometimes it does cause problems when he's evasive and avoidant on his own label and a lot of it could be solved if he just said it, yeah, and I think it's okay that other people get frustrated by those situations. Personally, I haven't really seen any situations where I would have said that situation has higher priority to Harry's rights of privacy and choosing or not choosing to come out, but I don't know. Maybe I haven't seen all situations either. I think what's important to remember for both sides is: There's a side for whom the situation is more important than Harry's individual experience, and there's a side for whom Harry's individual experience is more important than the collective situation. The underlying issue is not Harry himself, but rather a fundamental difference in politics, societal etiquette and sometimes also morals.

To be 100% honest as a fan of Harry's: Do I like whenever something like this happens and people demand an apology from Harry or try to cancel him? No, in all honesty, my knee-jerk-reaction is to say 'fuck off and leave him alone.' But I don't think that's very fair, so I do hear out a lot of people and read through what they have to say on the topic. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't. That doesn't mean that these things should never be allowed to be talked about, even if the voices are wrong, sometimes it really is necessary to have that civil conversation to determine what's 'right' and 'wrong.' (Most of the times there isn't a right and wrong anyways.) Trampling down any voices who dare to speak up 'against' Harry with no rhyme or reason, or even not hearing the person out first needs to stop in this fandom because it's so fucked up. Dismantle the arguments that you *can* dismantle, but you also have to accept that not everyone likes Harry and sometimes he does fucked up shit.

I think both sides could profit from some nuance, and realising what they're actually arguing with. The fandom side is right in advocating for the right of privacy, the right to choose when and how to come out, and the right to do certain things without having to be queer for it. They're also right to defend Harry when the media twists his words or leaves out important context. At the same time, the media is allowed to discuss over how Harry's public appearances and interviews (sometimes negatively) shape the media landscape, how they have negatively contributed to queer conversations, or how they're not sure whether it's still okay for him to do some things without being out. Those two sides don't always necessarily reply to each other, but everyone acts as if they do and it ends up in a huge mess that doesn't actually resolve anything.

Another disconnect that I see happening quite frequently is when the media dares to publish a think-piece on the whole topic and sometimes overly blames Harry for things that aren't actually fully his fault, but rather the fault of how the general public has reacted to it and twisted it. (Think waving a pride flag for example. There's nothing wrong with waving a pride flag, even straight musicians wave them around constantly in a show of allyship and support. But when it comes to Harry, a lot of it has been twisted around so much that I've seen people demand Harry stop doing it and that he's a bad person for waving it around in the first place.) To those think-pieces, fans also swarm and demand it to be taken down because the author didn't do any research and Harry is well in his right to do thing xy. Again, that's not the argument you should have, and you're not doing anyone any favours by having the wrong conversations. You'll only turn in circles and never reach an end.

At the end of the day, I understand how emotional this whole topic can be. Of course I also get angry and frustrated when I see people calling Harry out for being harmful towards the queer community. How can a person who has helped me SO IMMENSELY in my own queer journey be hurting us? That doesn't make sense, does it?

It's a difficult and complex and maybe even harsh truth but: I think every person can do good for one person while simultaneously also hurt others. Two people are never in the same context, and in this particular case, there's two very distinct sides on opposite ends of Harry. For the fandom, his actions do a lot of good because we see a lot of him, we listen to his words that don't reach public media and (most importantly) everything we see of him, we receive in a context of other fans who love him and who get the helpful sides of him. Non-fans receive those bouts of information in a completely different environment, one where people around them get frustrated by it or misinterpret it or have someone else misinterpret his actions to use it specifically and directly against the person. Obviously that sucks and isn't in Harry's control, but I think we should also cut the people some slack who're not on the good side, and they deserve the space to be frustrated just as much as we deserve the space to be grateful and celebrate.

I can't even remember where I was going with this all, but I think the TL;DR truth is: When it comes to this topic, there's no right side and no wrong side. Both sides have fucked up, both sides have good intentions and good arguments, and both sides also talk utter bullshit at other times. And I'm kind of getting tired of it because it's the same circle-arguments just reheated every time something happens or someone publishes an article, all the while there's so many more important conversations we should have on the issue.

[seerofmike]

ask meme: 5, 6, 7, 13, 14, 20

5. Share one of your strengths.

everyone has always told me that i write invidiual character voices very well. i try to make narration and dialogue distinct and i think i do a great job!

my vantage is completely different from my crypto who is completely different from my octane, and on the surface octane may look like he'd share the same narrative voice as leo from rise but my leo rise voice is different from octane's and ohg i just love writing how different characters would describe things or percieve situations.

i do want to give a special shout out to my vantage from my mad science fic. i don't care for her character that much but writing her was so fun and judging by the reception i got from it when posted people really enjoyed her character voice too.

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

scene-setting, environmental description, action. god this problem plagues me when reading, writing, AND drawing. i simply cannot picture where characters are or what they're doing or how they're having this conversation, sitting down or standing up. in my brain, everything takes place with characters standing around in a white void until something happens in the environment. visually it looks like that one scene in coraline. you know the one

here's how my fic writing process goes. dialogue, emotion and feelings and shit, basic plot action like going to the next necessary location, or maybe a super important event, or the set-up and punchline to a non-verbal joke. then i go back and add like 1k-2k words of just...setting. description. action. response. reaction. physical action. THEN i go over it again for like actual editing and proofreading

i can give you an example right now of what i mean

everything highlighted here was not what was originally written and was added later so the scene would be more than just "he said/he said" and maybe it's because i'm the one who wrote it but like...you can tell it was tacked on.

i'm trying to get better at this and started drawing a storyboard for my current rottmnt fic because that one relies on action more than introspection and dialogue, but if u ever ask me to describe a location...girl i would need 30 minutes to think about it

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

umm...this one is kind of hard actually i don't really remember specific pieces of prose i write outside of dialogue!! if i had to pick it would be maybe this specific bit from chapter five of my simulacrum Crypto AU, Four Oh Three:

this is way more than a snippet lmao but writing this entire chapter was super satisfying with everything i'd set up so far. crypto not knowing if he actually felt attraction to octane or if his feelings were just the lingering result of his programming, trying to figure out what he could feel, IF he could feel, octane touching him and inviting him to touch him in turn, all the conflicting emotions that came with that.

i really felt at the time that it all really came together in a very drawn-out but deserved scene of intimacy (nearly the whole chapter?) after the result of like uhhh 30,000+ words of tension that i don't think i've ever really written before or since. i usually like to get straight into the dick in hole action lmfao but i was very satisfied and proud of myself for this one

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

so this isn't even writing advice it's programming advice LOL but several years ago i heard of rubber duck debugging in which programmers tell a rubber duck their code line by line until they realize what's causing them a problem. and ever since, for lengthy fics or things outside my comfort zone, i've described overarching plot details and invidiual chapters to either stuffed animals or my cat and if it sounds stupid being said out-loud then i usually decide it'd be stupid and nonsensical in a fic too and i change it up LOL

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

controversial opinion maybe but i think telling people that every scene in a book should only serve the narrative/plot is STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!! books aren't movies, you don't have a runtime limit!!! i think you lose out on so much character and introspection and world-building by forcing every scene in your book to only be plot-relevant stuff. sometimes characters interacting with each other and doimg stuff in their world is just fun or interesting and that's all it has to be

20.) Describe your perfect writing conditions.

i have my headphones plugged in and am listening to my music. the chair is comfy and i can lean back but my laptop is on a solid surface. i am supplied endlessly with coffee and fizzy drinks. all is well

[mithliya]

i’m not getting offended, my tone is neutral. i’m just wondering why you got sad there wasn’t less strap haters on the poll (“unfortunately it seems strap-haters aren’t that common :(“). i don’t know if you’re realising you’re doing it, but saying other polls are skewed because lesbians are forced to like dick and bi women are participating (ones i’m referring to were asking for lesbians only to respond and even left a spot for bi women to click there instead, but i don’t own the instagram that posted the polls and they’re not highlighted sorry), is implying that more lesbians said they liked strap on because more women who could like dick participated. therefore strap is associated with dick or dick love. i just find it weird how many times i’ve seen you speak about hating strap (pretty sure you’ve done strap on polls before too). i’m not offended i’m just confused why you care about other lesbians liking strap so much. nobody’s forcing you to use or like one. but you sound like hets who say “how can lesbians not like dick if they use straps” by how bewildered you are by lesbians liking strap. move on.

lol im sorry, putting words in my mouth and then being like "but my tone is neutral" is just weird. youre assuming statements & intentions and there is nothing neutral about that, even if you're not name-calling me while doing it. when i say that many polls on this are inaccurate because many women identify as lesbians without being lesbians, you read that as saying something else. again, if i believe that liking a sex toy somehow changes someone's sexuality, why on earth would i repeatedly, explicitly say otherwise? why would i include two options for people who like strap-ons on a poll for *lesbians* if i think liking strap-ons makes someone not a lesbian? and how is an instagram poll more accurate simply because it reflects the proportions that youd like to see?

also "it seems strap-haters aren't that common :(" because im a strap-hater? like? you keep repeatedly putting words in my mouth & idc how you phrase it, that isn't cool nor is it conductive of a proper conversation either. even when i tell you my actual intentions, you keep saying "umm well you said it like this which implies otherwise" & are basically accusing me of lying about what i mean lmao. i was civil the first two times and clarified what i mean 3 times now. you want to misconstrue me regardless for whatever reason.

the poll was made because many lesbians feel straight up bad or wrong for not liking strap-ons. i have received numerous messages from young lesbians expressing this. this is because of how much it is referenced in lesbian circles & how often it is treated as some kind of lesbian sex staple. i myself thought that this was something i need to try and enjoy because of it. i do not care if a lesbian likes a strap-on, but i do take issue with the fact that it is treated as central to lesbian sexuality & is assumed as an aspect of every lesbians' sex lives & ive said that before. i didn't even express any bewilderment at there being lesbians who like strap-ons lol, but you seem to be projecting your own insecurities about liking it for whatever reason & its weird! im very sorry that you love strap-ons & i don't, but if you have to look for implications & statements that are not there just to demonise another lesbian, then maybe you need to take a step back and realise that the issue is on your end, not mine. if youre this upset over some lesbians hating strap-ons because you think it secretly means we think you're bisexual for loving it then that's a you problem. no need to take it out on me :)

[scoundrels-in-love]

I posted 15,453 times in 2022

345 posts created (2%)

15,108 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined

@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

@bumble-b-goode

@cup-ah-jho

I tagged 9,203 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#critical role - 2,276 posts

#cr spoilers - 1,004 posts

#art - 927 posts

#video - 891 posts

#cr fanart - 655 posts

#cats - 447 posts

#ashton - 374 posts

#kdrama - 292 posts

#rainy rambles - 271 posts

#fashion - 198 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i think this is good to internalize for myself and also for some people who might be weary and worried how to deal with me when i am in cert

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I love that Ashton is all "I will literally stand between any harm and any of these *gulp* friends", but then they just don't trust Chetney as far they could throw him (which is far) and I feel like it's mostly because he keeps being dick to Dorian and others. Like, you soft hearted punk, I love you so much.

204 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

#4

Ashton being the one to restrain FCG, one advocating for letting them down and even saying please, reminding they're all powderkegs that have hurt rest of the party in crossfire, trying to find kindest way to share the roughest news, setting up Orym's speech about taking care of each other and being first to agree with Orym's speech while most of the party didn't actually voice their agreement, just Ashton and their friendship with FCG and how much they care about their friends. /openly weeps

224 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

#3

I am thinking about Ashton, left to grow up in an orphanage, going through the change that perhaps is brought upon by one of their unknown parent's heritage, alone and confused, and like no one else.

Having to navigate that alone, most likely scared the first time they realized their hair was changing into stone, or even it first all fell out, the skintone shifting and all these physical changes truly no other puberty would be alike and there was no one to tell them they weren't straight up dying of some unknown disease and I just--

268 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

#2

One thing I think about a lot is how resigned, perhaps even inadequate, Ashton seems to feel about their role as purely muscle within the group.

There are definitely more than just these examples, but what comes to mind is post-duel at the ball when Orym approaches Ashton and says they might need Ashton, and Ashton immediately asks who needs beating up. As if that's the only input that they can contribute or be expected to contribute.

And then in latest episode, when they've all looked at Ruidus, someone needs to help the telecope to be moved so it can look at Catha and Ashton immediately volunteers all "this is what I'm good for".

And it's after everyone has chimed in with opinions about the moon storms and Imogen's experiences, but Ashton remained quiet, because what do they know? All these people are magic users or at least connected to someone wise and knowledgeable and Ashton's just a thug from orphanage.

I don't think it helps the way Bell's Hells sometimes don't hear them, like Ashton several times said they can have a go at picking locks (proficient), but the group always looked to someone else for that or a different solution.

The few times they're confident is when Gus "spoke Marquesian" and Ashton stepped up to speak bluntly with some cussing, and when they're fighting - and as they said themselves, it might be in part to make someone look at them and care. And when they're in smaller groups and dealing with odd vendors. Or have to protect someone, even if it's making sure FCG isn't hurting themselves emotionally.

I also recall how eagerly Ashton just echoed and boosted up Imogen's lines at first in the knick-knack store. They're eager to learn and support in more than just muscle-way, but so many of the current problems Bell's Hells have are magic and knowledge aligned, where they cannot help much and I feel like they feel kind of inadequate about it.

I wonder if it's something that comes from how they were treated in Nobodies, with how excited they were about their bribe moment early in the campaign, or just how cards have fallen currently in the story.

And I really hope they will gain confidence in themselves and their place with Bell's Hells. (And get a hug.)

308 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Between having been really into mermaids and underwater kingdoms as a concept during my childhood and the absolutely hauntingly stunning horror movie sequence where you root for the sirens introduction to Talokan, it's not really any surprise that I became instantly and deeply fascinated with this nation and its' people.

Like, there is so much I kept thinking about during the movie and even now, a whole day later. This great post by @thebctman raised even more that I hadn't gotten to.

Until the call to arms scene, I assumed that they cannot speak under the water, so I was quite stunned at the scene. But it does make me wonder just how much of importance does body language carry in Talokanian society! And how hard it might have been to preserve their native language, especially before the establishing of the cave sanctuary(ies).

And I have to think for how long Namor was only one who could only briefly exit the water, how, before the invention of water masks, there could be no sanctuary and he would be the only one wandering the caves. Pushed into role and revered as the leader from birth, fitting in with none of them.

The fact they ended up building this sanctuary and filling it to the brim with parts of their cultures they couldn't practice under the water - like the murals. How they must have lost their national cuisine, without access to ingredients or ways to practice it - or even consume, since they cannot eat above the water. I have no idea how much jade deposits are under water, but perhaps even that became a scarce material.

It makes me think of Namor's speech the first time he meets with Queen Ramonda and Shuri - about how clean and unharmed the land is and how much Wakanda's people have not had to change and compromise who they are, their culture, just to continue to exist. Though Talokan is their new land, it is still an exile. Exile deep into the cold waters that have slowly been poisoned and polluted by people.

Somehow, they've managed to befriend sea animals and even communicate with them (which leads back to my point about non-verbal communication under the water, maybe they quite literally can emit sounds similar to dolphins or whales), there is no way that they do not know the absolute devastation done to the oceans, that it has not impacted them, that Namor or his people haven't personally known whales that have been killed by whalers.

And yes, I do wonder about the pressure - how fast can they raise and lower themselves in these depths, without reprecussions, and just how damn fast can they travel because they seem to traverse incredible distances so very swiftly. One moment they're near USA, then Namor can respond to Queen Ramonda's call very swiftly. Like, just how fast can they all swim, without exhaustion?? Fascinating.

I know most of these things will never be answered, if any at all, but a lot of them are just lot of feelings about things in the subtext and I'm gonna go drown in those kthxbye.

392 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[originaltyphoonkryptonite]

Chapter 12: Phantasma Is Born

Zella pov

I had a bad feeling about tonight. I gave up trying to sleep and get out of my bed. I slip on my robe and notice my Shadowbear, or rather Cippia wasn't on the bed. In fact, I couldn't find Cippia anywhere in the apartment. I thought he was hanging out in Dick's apartment but he wasn't. I looked all over for him. I was starting to get worried. "Maybe he's just went to spend the night at Gus' like he sometimes does.", I think to myself.

I shadow traveled to Gus' place and maybe  startle him by mistake. By stepping out of the shadows unannounced Gus fell out of his chair. Oops.

"I have got to get used to that.", he says while he rubs his head and getting up from the ground.

"Sorry Gus.", I said with a sheepish smile.

"It's fine, I'm the one who told you to learn to control your powers.", he replies as he sits back in his chair.

"Gus have you seen Cippia?", I ask.

"Isn't he with you?"

"No."

"Dick's apartment?"

"Nope.", I say narrowing my eyes.

"Maybe he's at the park?", Gus asks nervously.

"Gus."

"Hey show me some fancy shadow work.", he tries to distract me with.

I walk right up to him and place my hands on his chair's armrests. I lower my head and looked him straight in the eye.

"Gus. Hodges. Where. Is. My. Dog?", I growl at him.

He gulps and shrinks into his chair as I gave him my glare. I never used it on Dick, but maybe I should see if Gus was right about it being pretty scary. And what better way then using it on the first Robin, the first to be trained by Batman himself. Because if I don't like Gus' answer, Grayson is dead meat and not even my fear of Batman will save him if something happens to my dog.

"He's Nighthound......and he's out on patrol with Nightwing......", Gus says without even looking me in the eye.

"HE'S WHAT?!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nightwing pov

I messed up. I messed up big time. I am currently tied up. Nighthound is trapped in a cage. The only reason he hasn't escaped yet is because they hit him with a big dose of tranquilizers. Apparently those still effect him. Good to know in case for Zell.

The mob boss I captured wasn't really in charge. He was just the right hand man and the real boss didn't take kindly to my job of putting the right hand away.

The mob boss walks over to me as he hits his hand with a crowbar. What is it with bad guys and hitting us Bats with crowbars!?

"It's about time someone teaches you not to meddle in another person's business.

"You won't get away with this." I say to him.

As he raises his arm a black Wingding comes out of no where and knocks the crowbar out of his hands. We look over and are shocked to see a new hero there.

She was wearing a black suit, a black domino mask, and her black hair was in a braided low ponytail. There were no sleeves on her costume. She had a purple belt, purple on her boots and gloves and some kind of purple shadow symbol. She also had a watch on her right wrist.

"No need to play rough boys. Why don't you come along quietly?", she asks.

"How about no? Get her!", the boss yells.

She dodged some of their attacks and threw a Wingding at my ropes cutting me lose.

"So a little help, Nightwing?", she asks as she punches a goon. She also used a black whip to keep her attackers at bay.

"No problem.", I reply as I take out my weapon.

"By the way, the name's Phantasma. In case you were wondering."

"Has a nice ring to it."

We took them down and tied them up. Phantasma walked over to Nighthound and summoned some lock picks? She used them to free Nighthound and I picked him up.

"Oh you poor baby." she says as she looks at Nighthound.

"Uh...I normally don't get called that."

"Not you Birdboy.", she growls as she dragged me through a shadow and pushed me right into Gus' living room? I put Nighthound on a bed and Phantasma went into the kitchen? I am so confused.

"Glad to see I got the costume right.", Gus says as he takes out the med-kit. Phantasma came back with bacon and put it right in front of Nighthound's nose. He instantly woke up and gobbled the treat. He really loves bacon I guess.

"Who's a pretty boy? Defiantly you.", Phantasma states

"Well I wouldn't say pretty." I say with a wince as Gus cleans a wound on my cheek. "I'd say handsome.

"I wasn't talking about you Grayson."

"What? I'm not Grayson."

"Uh-huh."

"Who are you anyway."

"Really? You saw me use shadows. I thought that would be obvious.", she says in the most deadpan voice I have ever heard. And I have heard some good ones.

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Phantasma pov

"Dick it's me.", I say as I take off the mask.

"ZELL?!, he yells out.

I nodded and I could see him gulp.

"I'm in trouble aren't I?", he asks as he takes off his mask.

"Not just you. ALL THREE OF YOU!", I glare at them.

"Zell I-"

"I what? That I have your dog as my partner and think it's best if you didn't know!?"

Cippia whines and hides his nose behind his paws. Gus was looking at the floor and Dick, oh Dick, had the nerve to smile sheepishly.

"Uh, yes?"

Gus face-palmed. I march right up to him and grabbed the front of his uniform, pulling his eyes down to my height. I am as tall as his shoulders by the way

"Next time you two go out on patrol, I'm coming with."

"That's it?", he blinks at me.

"Yes that's it. I get it really just next time, TELL ME!", I say as I let go of him and shadow travel to my bedroom.

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Dick pov

"That honestly went better then what I expected."

Cippia and Gus nod their heads at that.