#i was just upset seeing yet another person i follow reblog a post that was like that

[diospore]

Rant below the break bc I was mad at 3 am last night.

People kinda need to learn how to criticize someone's skill (writing/art) without mocking them for their kinks or identities or other things that don't matter.

(This is about a specific post trend I've been seeing, where I have seen on multiple occasions people's kinks and identities being brought into a conversation unnecessarily where prior to that the discussion was about the quality of their skill. And even then why the fuck do you care. The art isn't FOR you.)

Like you aren't inherently Cool and Epic for making fun of someone who likes feet or omegaverse or pregnant men or something. You're not Awesome and So So Smart for mocking someone for identifying as a catboy or something. Get over yourself. Learn to properly criticize writing/art without mocking someone, because your entire argument becomes worthless with insults like that. You think I'm going to reblog you even if I agree with you once you pull that shit? No, I'm fucking blocking your ass and everyone in the replies who agrees with you.

And god, if you purposely misgender someone over their art, holy shit. Gendering someone properly isn't something that can be Taken Away for Being A Naughty Naughty Horny Person. You see how fucked up that is right? I don't have to explain that, right???? What is this, 2014? Stop mocking people for being bunny boys or puppy girls. The fuck is with you? God forbid people have fun with their genders in 2024. Oh the humanity, bunnyposter likes his large chest and sexualizes himself and reclaims his features. How will the world recover from this tragedy of- gasp! A trans person having a semblance of acceptance around their appearance that they can't fucking AFFORD to do anything about and not wallowing in misery 25/8.

Get a hobby, damn.

[lightofraye]

The reason(s) I’m anti-Danneel

Hello all!

This is actually my first official anti-Danneel post as opposed to reblogging an anti post or responding to anons who somehow found me.

First, a note: some of what I'm posting are reposts from other now defunct/deactivated Tumblrs that I was able--thanks to the Wayback Machine and/or Tumblr preserving the reblogs with information--so whenever possible, I will credit the original authors. It's because of them that I was able to find out all the crap Danneel had done and the evidence.

If it's a "Jensen said this", don't ask me where precisely, because there are way too many cons, panels, interviews. Just trust that Jensen did say it, okay?

Now... to begin with the biggest crime to lay at Danneel's feet: Abuse.

So I'm going to preface this with a content warning/trigger warning. If you are bothered by description of abuse, even emotional abuse, I advise you to skip. I will not be held responsible for how upsetting this might get. You've been warned.

Now to begin! Here's the issues I've noticed (and others). Hat tip to @taraslittlecorner (now defunct/deactivated) for the original post that I was thankfully able to find on the Wayback Machine.

I'll add a cut here because it's going to get long!

Public Humiliation:

Jensen eating gummy bears. This post was made as a public stab at Jensen for the amount of gummy bears he was eating. It was a stab at not only his eating habits/weight, but it was also a stab at him being greedy or gluttonous.

Jensen on the carousel. Another stab at Jensen about his weight.

The whole AD house tour is full of stabs at Jensen. She takes a swipe at everything from him not wanting to change the children’s diapers, not cleaning the toilets, not cooking, and not being able to organize or clean behind himself. (There’s a lot of sketchy things in that video as well.) She even made fun of him for being proud of his side of the closet for being tidy.

Jensen didn't cry at the birth of his children. Yet another attempt at making an important, emotional moment in Jensen’s life about her, as well making Jensen seem as if he is emotionless and detached from his family and children, and she’s the one that’s so sensitive.

The FBBC interview. Now, that interviewer sucked ass too, let’s not kid ourselves, that was one of the worst interviews I’ve ever seen in my life. Elta continually trying to make Jensen look lazy, saying that he didn’t smell good, saying that she was pregnant knowing it made him uncomfortable. All of this was with one goal, to humiliate him.

The gaslighting hairdresser. You will never convince me Elta put this woman up to posting this photoshopped, off guard, horrible pic of Jensen and herself, as well as disclosing the location of his family in order to make it look as if she’s been there the whole time when really she’s not. Jensen is very self conscious about his appearance, and this showed him in a bad light, again to humiliate him and make him look like a slob. (That seems to be her MO.)

(These are just the ones we’re all familiar with, but if you guys send more receipts you want to add to this I’d be glad to add them to it as a receipt collection.)

2. Controlling: This is another all day topic. Seriously, we could talk all day about how one can be considered controlling in a relationship, and Elta is no different. The biggest and most public thing that we can see is her constant control over his Social Media.

Now, we know good and damn well that she’s also doing this to hold up to her facade of a “happily married couple”, but it’s also a way of controlling his interactions with other women, (originally he was never allowed to follow women on Social Media; something that has recently changed since The Boys and Big Sky has happened), and to keep track of who he’s talking to and what he’s doing.

Access to one’s cellphone, email address, and other social media is almost as good as attaching a GPS onto a person. If she access his cloud, she can access everything from text messages he’s sent to his most recent emails to his employers.

I have some proof but it will take time to document all of them.

**For those SPN buffs out there. You will also notice that Dean got a whole lot less action between the sheets and with female guest stars after his wedding to Elta, and that’s not a coincidence.**

Jealousy, or extreme jealousy in Elta’s case, can also be the mark of an abuser. The NEED to maintain that state of control, and if he get’s attached to another woman that is paying him better attention, he may try and break things off with her.

3. Isolation: If you’ve noticed Jensen hardly sees his family anymore. He used to speak of his family often, now it’s rare that he’s ever seen with them. They usually have to come to Dallas Con just to see him, and the only actual evidence we have of Elta being there with them all in years is a sketchy ass post on Instagram of Thanksgiving a few years back. Jensen did take his dad, brother, and brother-in law to the Nascar event he recently attended. Other than that, there has been little to no evidence of contact with his family at all as the years progressed, and it’s gotten worse as the years pass of that “marriage.”

He also seems to have shorted his circle of friends to people she gets along with. Marcus, Steve, etc. And even on “vacations” it’s surrounded by her little group of mooching family members and friends: New Orleans, she brought her brother and mother, as well as Steve Carlson and Marcus. Marcus even attended the trip to Cali when they went to the Golden Globes after party.

If you really take time and look, he’s rarely seen with anyone that ELTA doesn’t get along with, or are friends with. He doesn’t even hang out with Jared outside of Canada like he used too, and that should raise suspicious eyebrows alone.

4. Hypersensitivity:

We’ve seen this in the countless attacks Elta, as well as her friends, feel the need to do to SPN fans, or anyone that questions the legitimacy of anything she does or post. I don’t have all of these anymore on hand, but will add the links if I can find them. She’s called fans “fat whores”, anti joker face used to have the receipts, they went on for a while. You don’t have to dig very deep to find this stuff people.

She’s even had Clif write long ass post in order to make it looks as if she’s been so targeted when she just really brings all this shit on herself. She feels threatened because somewhere deep down, she knows she’s doing wrong. You know how the old saying goes, the guilty dog barks? Well, Elta barks a lot.

Even Jensen can get a little defensive when they attack her at cons and to his face. He knows that if he doesn’t defend her, or trys to stand up for himself there will be repercussions. “I don’t tell my wife what to do. I’m not stupid, or suicidal.”

5. Unexplained injury, or weight-loss: Since about 2018, Jensen has progressively lost weight. To the point that the FBBC instagram page even removed the photo I used in this example because people were commenting on Jensen’s weightloss. They try to explain it away in marathon training, but we all know that’s not the case. The constant attacks she’s made against his weight are starting to show.

Every time Jensen has to quarantine with her he starts to look like death warmed over, weight drop, sickly looking skin color, (which is also a sign of malnutrition), and that dead look we can’t get seem to forget. Then we get him back to work, and it’s almost an immediate improvement.

Then there is the chunk that’s missing out of his nose now because of a nose injury that kept being explained in different instances at the same event as to how he even got it. It first appeared a day after the FBBC family reunion event that took place in May of 2018 in a post made by Elta of Jensen playing with the kids, and people thought it was just a breathe right strip.

If you look closely, you can even see that his eyes looked to be blacked, as if he’d somehow broken his nose.Once he got ot an event for Elta’s Limbo Jewelry line launch in NYC, he kept changing the story as to how he got said injury. First he told fans that he’d hurt it by hitting a pool wall while playing with his kids. Then he said he’d dropped a keg on it. Well, if you’ve ever worked for a bar or been around kegs you know those things are heavy, and that story is a blatant lie.

CONSTANTLY SHIFTING STORIES OF HOW AN INJURY OCCURRED ARE ONE HELL OF A RED FLAG PEOPLE!!

If it were Elta with the injury, and she kept changing the story as to how she got it, there would have been questions asked; but since Jensen is a man it was never looked into.

Take all these for what you will guys! It’s only my observations and opinions! You may not agree, but I know you all can agree that if Jensen were female, this conversation would have happened a LONG time ago.

Men can be victims of domestic abuse/violence, and the evidence is there! I’m sure there is more, and if you send it to me via submission, even if you want to keep quiet and not put your handle on there I will add the evidence to this post.

THIS MAN DESERVES BETTER!!

[darksonofsparda]

Omg its another update post!/return notice

Look who isn't dead, hello. You may or may not remember me from last year as an active role player. I didn't want to take long to post this, but I haven't had any internet access for a whole year There's a lot of reasons why I disappeared for one year It's a pretty big read, but I ask that you please read below the cut, as its important, especially those who are still looking to write and ship with me.

I don't wanna make this too long, but its probably gonna end up long anyway. So a little bit into the year, while I put on a happy attitude, behind the scenes, I've been struggling. Lots of things were stressing me out irl and it was affecting how I talked to people. I started to notice myself becoming more easily irritable for stupid little things, and it kept happening more and more, I almost ruined a friendship with my attitude, and I've already ruined one with my actions, and I don't ever wanna do that again. The moment I finally realized this, I knew I just had to step away for a while, get my head back together and just fix myself. I've been writing on this website for over 10 years, about 13 or 14 now, and treating others with kindness and respect is something very important to me, had I not taken a break, I was afraid I would explode on the next person who barely upset me, and that is not the kind of person I wanted to be, or ever want to be. I'm not this toxic person, but I almost became toxic, and I had to stop myself by giving myself some distance from the internet. So taking some time away was much needed. I was able to get a better look at myself and finally see the person I wanted to be. While I still have some important things to do in life, I'm decided to come back. To be honest, I wasn't sure I was even going to return, but after A LOT of thought, I realized, there are still so many stories I want to tell with others, so many characters and ships i want to explore for all my muses. To save me some trouble, I'm gonna reblog this or repost this on my other active blogs. I'm coming back sometime next month, I'm not sure when exactly, but definitely sometime in February, by then I'll have internet again, and will be able to be here once more. That being said, I'm going to be spending the next few weeks reaching out to people. Ship partners and mains who I've interacted with. I know there are a select few number of ships and partners of mine that I will definitely be reaching out to, to find out who would like to continue certain threads with me and see who would still like to ship, especially if its a thread I've spent a lot of time plotting with you. I'd tag people, but this is gonna be used on all my active blogs, so I'll just reach out. I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner, but I just needed some time to feel isolated to kill all this negativity and toxicity that followed me. To those who remember me, I hope to continue writing with you and tell out characters stories, because there's always more adventures to get into. I understand if a majority of people both who I've yet to write with and have already written with want to drop our threads and move on, my break was very unplanned. But if you are one of those people who is still wanting to write with me, and give our muses a chance, than I want to take a moment to thank you for being here, especially the people who always stick with me despite my track record of sometimes disappearing without a trace. P.S: Since not everyone is on right now, this will reblog for one week, but spaced out in between so I don't clutter the dash. I look forward to continuing our muses stories, whether we've already started their adventures or if we have yet to do so, thank you. Hope to write with you all again soon. ~Chase

[dxfiedfxte]

Omg its another important update/return

Look who isn't dead, hello. You may or may not remember me from last year as an active role player. I didn't want to take long to post this, but I haven't had any internet access for a whole year There's a lot of reasons why I disappeared for one year It's a pretty big read, but I ask that you please read below the cut, as its important, especially those who are still looking to write and ship with me.

I don't wanna make this too long, but its probably gonna end up long anyway. So a little bit into the year, while I put on a happy attitude, behind the scenes, I've been struggling. Lots of things were stressing me out irl and it was affecting how I talked to people. I started to notice myself becoming more easily irritable for stupid little things, and it kept happening more and more, I almost ruined a friendship with my attitude, and I've already ruined one with my actions, and I don't ever wanna do that again. The moment I finally realized this, I knew I just had to step away for a while, get my head back together and just fix myself. I've been writing on this website for over 10 years, about 13 or 14 now, and treating others with kindness and respect is something very important to me, had I not taken a break, I was afraid I would explode on the next person who barely upset me, and that is not the kind of person I wanted to be, or ever want to be. I'm not this toxic person, but I almost became toxic, and I had to stop myself by giving myself some distance from the internet. So taking some time away was much needed. I was able to get a better look at myself and finally see the person I wanted to be. While I still have some important things to do in life, I'm decided to come back. To be honest, I wasn't sure I was even going to return, but after A LOT of thought, I realized, there are still so many stories I want to tell with others, so many characters and ships i want to explore for all my muses. To save me some trouble, I'm gonna reblog this or repost this on my other active blogs. I'm coming back sometime next month, I'm not sure when exactly, but definitely sometime in February, by then I'll have internet again, and will be able to be here once more. That being said, I'm going to be spending the next few weeks reaching out to people. Ship partners and mains who I've interacted with. I know there are a select few number of ships and partners of mine that I will definitely be reaching out to, to find out who would like to continue certain threads with me and see who would still like to ship, especially if its a thread I've spent a lot of time plotting with you. I'd tag people, but this is gonna be used on all my active blogs, so I'll just reach out. I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner, but I just needed some time to feel isolated to kill all this negativity and toxicity that followed me. To those who remember me, I hope to continue writing with you and tell out characters stories, because there's always more adventures to get into. I understand if a majority of people both who I've yet to write with and have already written with want to drop our threads and move on, my break was very unplanned. But if you are one of those people who is still wanting to write with me, and give our muses a chance, than I want to take a moment to thank you for being here, especially the people who always stick with me despite my track record of sometimes disappearing without a trace. P.S: Since not everyone is on right now, this will reblog for one week, but spaced out in between so I don't clutter the dash. I look forward to continuing our muses stories, whether we've already started their adventures or if we have yet to do so, thank you. Hope to write with you all again soon. ~Chase.

[sunsetsandsunshine]

An issue I need to address:

TW: Drama, cussing…yk all that jazz. I apologize that this post is what you all are receiving from me today. But I need to talk about this before it get’s worse.

Okay, I just want to clarify that there should be no hate being sent towards @osctwordfan for this. Hate and hurtful comments will not and cannot fix what has been done. But that does not I am not angry about it. I am mad. I am livid. Only two people on this site has been able to make me this genuinely upset and it’s frustrating that making a PUBLIC POST is the only way to get this person’s attention. 

4 days ago, May 16th, @osctwordfan started following me. Which, I greatley appreciated because HELLO??? Who wouldn’t, right? A new follower is just an awesome feeling to have. So, I checked their blog to see what they liked and we shared SO many similar interests it was almost scary. And I followed back. 

If you know me for a while, you know my whole “Hi new mutual 💝” message I send to my new mutuals. Because 1: I love talking to people and 2: I just want others to feel like they’re welcome. (If you haven’t received one yet it’s either bc you’re a little older than me or idk how to send the message. BUT YOU WILL GET ONE TRUST 💞💓💘💖💝)

And you all know how you can SEE when someone is online? Well, they were online when I texted this. And I got no response. I just assumed it was nervousness or shyness so I didn’t really question it. Until a few minuetes later they reblogged my “You can always ask” fic. 

Which, woo-hoo I guess. But my message was still not answered. But I didn’t think it was THAT deep. 

The next day, May 17th, I noticed they were online. I sent a quick “Hi” again, awaiting a response. About 5 minutes later I was met with one, except it wasn’t the one I was expecting or hoping for. 

It was a request. For a fanfiction. Okay okay cool. Coolio. You…ignore my two messages of me just simply saying a quick “hello” and you don’t answer…instead you ask for a tickle fanfiction of some turtles? 

I get people are shy. I get that. I do. But me and one of my best friends were talking about it on Insta and it made no damn sense. Following, reblogging and requesting things from an individual that’s been trying to speak with you for the past few days and you not responding and then ASKING something of them is just…weird. 

Me and one of my best friend’s convo:

So, on May 18th I saw they were online again, and so I texted the following: 

Which I felt was fine. It was straight to the point. But where my anger really emegred was when I got notifications of my fics being reblogged by the same person. AGAIN. NOT EVEN 3 MINUTES LATER.

And then May 19th they liked another post of mine. Although it was a post that you would have to DIG DEEP FOR. Because I made it a year ago and only 4 people liked it (INCLUDING ME.). So you would have to LOOK LOOK to find it. 

Then yesterday, May 20th, was just my breaking point. I was chilling, having a nice evening, talking with my fellow mutuals, writing a fic (AND FINISHING WOO-HOO) until I get a notification. And guess what? It’s just another reblog by the same person. 

Did I get any responses of my pervious texts? Nope. Not at ALL. 

I am sick and hurt of being treated as if I’m just a computer that makes fanfictions.

I am a PERSON. A human being that for the past week has been trying to talk with you. And you at fucking 16 should understand that. 

You are one whole year older than me and you think you have the right to treat me this way. Who the absolute hell do you think you are? 

Because let me get this through your head: I live in an African and Jamaican  household, and one thing that we let each other know day in and day out is to never ever let someone make you feel like you’re less. 

So when you see this @osctwordfan I am hoping you have a good explanation regarding to last week. 

@ ing mutual’s in this because this is INSANE and I am LIVID rn: 

@itzsana-kiddingmenow @veryblushyswitch

@skyloladoodles @saturnzskyzz @backy-san

@creativecutie @savemeafruitjuice

@mythica0 @leosmasktails @someone1348 @vxlepop

@anxious-lee @charismakat

@sunny-117 @odder-outlet @jamiesgotchu @ziipzeepzop-eez

@danineedshelp @pocky-dragon

@my-l0v3r-v3rse @rice-cake-teen10

[fuckyeah-bears]

to the person sending me hateful anon messages, reporting me, and trying to remove the posts i've reblogged that palestinian people themselves are sharing because they want the world to see the despicable cruelties israel is doing to them,

i pity you for your misguided rage. i am not the problem in this situation. i am not responsible for israel committing genocide. if you are upset by these images and the things being done, i implore you to take action against israel. i implore you to take action against your government and demand that they pressure israel in any and every means necessary to stop committing this violence. i implore you to boycott products and companies that are funding and supporting israel's genocide and colonialist settler economy. i implore you to direct your anger and hatred at the people and governments actually responsible for the beyond upsetting content you are seeing.

i do not deny this is disgusting upsetting content. and i am so sorry that it is triggering emotions and memories and pain for you. i genuinely genuinely am. but you need to understand that shouting at me and other people sharing this content specifically to raise awareness for the crimes israel (and almost every single western government and media channel) is, as we speak, actively trying to downplay, sanitize, erase, misrepresent, and deny, is so misguided and counterproductive.

i in no way speak for the people of palestine, but from the countless videos and messages i have seen and heard from them, many have given up on the world actually doing anything to stop the horrors being done to them. they have given up hoping for a world that has never cared about them or their suffering, that has completely and utterly abandoned them, to suddenly change and force israel to stop. i have heard and seen so many people in gaza say that they want their suffering and lives to be remembered and seen. they want it to be recorded so we can bear witness to what is being done to them. so maybe one day the world will remember that they were human beings who were brutalized and massacred by an uncaring cruel regime and abandoned by an uncaring cruel world.

obviously this is not the stance of all palestinians, nor all people of gaza, but i am sharing the videos and content they themselves are recording and sharing in the hopes it can do something to help, however small, if only by bearing witness to their pain and suffering and making sure they are not dying alone without anyone in the outside world grieving for them. i am hoping it can motivate people to action.

i also want you to know that i take absolutely zero pleasure in this. i find this content utterly horrific and beyond disturbing. it sickens me and i want nothing more than for this violence to stop. but i can't look away. because looking away and pretending it's not happening, or sanitizing just how disgustingly cruel and inhumane the israeli government is would be despicable cowardice and yet another betrayal to the people of palestine.

i also want to emphasize to everyone that sharing videos and photos and posts on social media is by no means anywhere near enough. it is something, absolutely, but you need to do more. we all need to do more. if you profess to care at all about palestinian people and their suffering, you need to do everything in your power to help.

so here's what you, as people who care about palestinians can do:

unless directly asked not to by the people of gaza, keep sharing their videos, photos, posts, and stories.

talk to the people around you, especially the ones who are either not following what's going on or have been brainwashed by the biased pro-israel propaganda.

write to your government leaders and elected officials and anyone else who holds a position of power. email them and call them and tell them to take action. tell them to demand a ceasefire. tell them to condemn israel. tell them to stop funding israel. keep calling them again and again.

publicly call out and shame your elected/government leaders for their hypocrisy and bias

write op-eds or blog posts or newspaper articles for any media outlet explaining what's going on and telling people to take action

counter and speak out against toxic pro-israeli narratives that dehumanize palestinians

attend protests and rallies in support of palestine near you

attend protests and rallies trying to shut down weapons manufacturers that are making the weapons that are being sent to israel (i will share more information on this in another post)

follow palestinian accounts on social media and accounts that are reporting on the truth (i will make a separate post with a list of accounts people can follow)

write to your institutions like universities, colleges, etc. and demand they release statements in support of palestine

donate to reputable relief orgs (i will make a separate post with more info later)

read up on the BDS (Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions) movement and loudly boycott companies that support or fund israel. tell other people to boycott those same companies. boycott all israeli companies and products.

educate yourself and others around you on the history of palestine and the israeli occupation and oppression

do not be silent!

if anyone has more things people can do to help, please please add to this list.

so once again, feeling angry is a good thing. if you are not spitting furious and utterly sickened and disgusted by what israel is doing to palestine and her people and the fact that so many of our countries and leaders and media outlets are actively supporting israel's despicable war crimes, then you are not fully human. you should be angry. you should be furious. you should be sickened. but please turn that rage and fury and grief and disgust into something productive that has a chance of helping end this violence and suffering. turn your rage and fury and grief and disgust to the people and institutions responsible for this, not the people trying to stand by the people of palestine and do everything they can to stop this horrific genocide.

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

[fefairys]

me: ugh this persons opinion is pissing me off *feels myself about to go into another rage spiral* fuck this i’m just gonna unfollow finally

other me: but that’s your friend! and isn’t it good to have friends with differing opinions to expose yourself to dealing with the frustration of a differing opinion so you don’t rage spiral every time?

me: yes because that’s been working so well. that’s why we took a break from tumblr after that dysphoria-induced dry-heaving sob session that started from a tumblr post on a similar topic. because being exposed to “differing opinions” is good for us!

other me: well maybe you should grow up! if this person, whose other opinions you agree with and trust and find based, and who you kind of consider a friend, thinks like this, maybe you’re in the wrong!

me: yeah, maybe i am in the wrong. i don’t know. but it still hurts and i want to stop hurting. the peoples closest to me who are actually my friends and love me agree with my opinion on this.

other me: but some of them are still mutuals/friends with people you see posting stuff that makes us upset. if they’re able to casually brush off those opinions, why can’t you?

me: i don’t know i guess im unwell. i mean jesus look what i’m writing right now. am i really intending on posting this publicly to my main tumblr blog with over 3,000 followers?

other me: it would seem so. anyway. if you admit that this is a symptom of you being unwell, don’t you want to try and get better?

me: fuck dude i don’t know. is there any benefit to it? i’ve never encountered this attitude in the wild—

another voice: because the people with that opinion are too scared of violence and alienation to admit this in the flesh world.

???: good.

me: hey that’s not cool. i just hate this i just want to be heard and listened to and understood about this and i hate being at such fundamental odds with people in my own community! i hate the divide this is causing amongst us! it makes me sick! and apparently i have to be the one to unfollow because no matter how many posts i make in direct opposition to their views, i guess they’re just not noticing?!?

other me: or they don’t care? and you care way too much and this isn’t that big of a deal. they probably just roll their eyes and keep scrolling when they see you reblog something like that. why can’t you do the same?

me: because doesn’t that suck????? i hate the idea that these mutuals of mine are reading my impassioned views on the subject and ROLLING THEIR EYES like how fucking dismissive is that?? that’s my WHOLE issue is that i feel like i’m not being listened to, that the things i say don’t matter because i’m JUST A STUPID GIRL, ARENT I.

other me: ok calm down you don’t need to misgender yourself for emphasis.

me: anyway. i don’t want to just roll my eyes and keep scrolling because if my opinion on this matters so much to me, i should think highly of their opinion too, and treat is seriously. i shouldn’t just roll my eyes and move on! i have to consider it! consider if i’m wrong! again! and again and again and again! god dammit we should have stayed on tumblr dot com slash timeline slash blog underscore subscriptions…

other me: but that’s even worse! a super insular bubble you curated of only people who have the exact same opinion as you on this? tsk tsk. stop trying to avoid confronting your biases.

me: i look this bias in the face on a daily basis and question myself over it constantly, yet i keep falling back in the same place. when do i get to decide that i’m secure in my position and stop??

other me: maybe never. we’ve recently realized we were wrong about a LOT of things we thought we had secure positions on. maybe the only solution is to change our mind.

me: that would be disingenuous. i changed my opinion on those other things because *i* changed and i would have been a hypocrite to hold true to my old opinions. that would have just been me lying to myself and repressing myself. i don’t do that anymore. “changing my mind” in this case would feel like a total lie. i simply don’t agree. my experiences have taught me otherwise.

other me: ok. so be at peace with that and stop spiraling every time someone disagrees with you.

me: but they don’t JUST disagree, they turn it into “you’re stupid if you disagree” “you’re a threat, you’re harming us, if you disagree”

other me: but they’re the ones that are wrong and harming US. just stop listening.

me: i don’t want this to be an us vs them thing i just want us all to love each other and find space for each other and listen to each other. i feel guilty for wanting to plug my ears of the topic.

other me: it’s getting late. i think we should go to bed.

me: but i’m still thinking about this

other: pointlessly. you already unfollowed them.

me: only one of many. i’m going to have to have this thought loop so many more times. and it’s slightly different for each person depending on Factors…

other me: we need to go to sleep.

me: but i’m still thinking about this

other me: we’re tired. you’re starting to feel dysphoric again. turn on a video and go to sleep.

me: i’m not a man anyway so why do i care i’m basically just a cis girl who has no right to align myself with being trans at all and—

other me: GO TO SLEEP

[itsclydebitches]

Have you seen the posts going around saying shit like "If a mutual likes Hazbin Hotel I will block them"?? It's genuinely upsetting me tbh, not just the idea that people don't like the show, but that they despise it so much they can't even stand the thought of someone they know liking the show. It reminds me of the Steven Universe hate train only worse. They also say shit like "the show is just someone saying swear words and expecting you to laugh", and if for a second we put aside the fact that that is blatantly not true, what's wrong with that? I'm allowed to like something that's a bit trash, right? I've already seen two different people I follow reblog posts to that effect (and worse, someone saying all a character boils down to is "i love being sexually abused <3" and i don't know how they ever came to that conclusion) and it's driving me mad. And somehow I just know that they don't actually give a shit about any "controversies" surrounding vivziepop, that's just a convenient excuse for most of them. I don't even care if Vivzie is a bad person, that's none of my business. just live and let live, you know?

Sorry for ranting, you're literally the only blog i follow who posts Hazbin fan content

Rant away, friend! Luckily for me I haven't come across any of those posts yet. Plenty of discourse surrounding whether fans are allowed to make romantic and/or sexual content for Alastor, the expected shipping wars, and - as you say - vague references to Vivzie controversies (which I'm too new a fan to even be aware of yet)... but nothing that's a complete rejection of the show itself. That's probably because I've only engaged with blogs posting a lot of Hazbin content though.

I'm a big fan of old school Internet rules which includes an emphasis on cultivating your own online space. You know, the thing tumblr is explicitly designed for. So in theory I applaud anyone blocking users/tags for a show they're not a fan of. Performatively posting about it more as a way to guilt others for liking Hazbin at all... not so much. If you want to block something just block it. If you're mutuals with someone you both presumably like each others' content. Not all of it necessarily, but enough to have followed in the first place, and often being mutuals for long enough leads to friendship because you're both getting interacting with one another a lot. All of which isn't to say that people don't unfollow mutuals, or that you can't drop a mutual because they've started posting something you dislike. Obviously both situations do happen, but it feels like an extreme enough response that these posters probably aren't actually doing this very often. Most people will wait the mutual out until their interest gets hooked on something new, or block the Hazbin tag and keep the friend, or just block without making a big announcement about it. So posts like that feel more like a way to show off how much you dislike the show and guilt others for their enjoyment which yeah, can be upsetting to see. Especially when, as you say, it costs nothing to just let people like things.

Which might sound hypocritical on my part given my RWBY interests, but I think there's a big difference between critically examining a show while supporting others who genuinely love it, and simplistically blasting it. I COMPLETELY get why Hazbin wouldn't be to everyone's tastes and, like with the SU example, anything that gets popular enough is going to develop its haters (especially cartoons trying to tackle non-childish subjects. That's always going to be a fandom landmine). But if you're going to make claims about a show, at least watch it to ensure you can back up your stance? And if your takeaway is still, "This is the worst fucking thing I've ever watched"... cool. Go forth and write about that on your own, personal blog. But no one should be surprised when they're also blocked for bragging about how many Hazbin fans they've blocked.

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

On TCB Fans Being Annoying About Tinlightenment

So I got this response to this survey yesterday, and I spent pretty much all day thinking about it on-and-off (tragically, I do not have a very intellectually stimulating job). Reading it upset me a little more than it should have (the correct amount would have been zero), still upsets me a bit if we’re being honest, and I was kinda’ surprised by my own reaction. But the fact is, this person took time out of their day to fill out this little survey, and on the whole their responses were actually really informative and helpful. So, thank you, anonymous responder! Just because I didn’t like everything I read doesn’t mean I can’t be grateful to have read it.

So I’m gonna let you, and everyone else, in on a couple of little secrets (full response below the cut):

I kinda’ suspected at least one response like this one. Which is part of why my reaction surprised me so much.

The reason I suspected I’d hear this is that I… kinda’ agree? About the annoying part, anyways. I promise you, nobody is more annoyed about all the Tinlightenment promo posting I’ve done than I am. No one enjoys asking the internet for money. We’re not waking up going “oh boy, another day! I am so excited to find yet another new way to throw the same information into the void for the forty eighth time in a row!” Actually, it’s not exactly a void. It’s more like… constantly throwing crumbs into the ocean, hoping to save a fish but never knowing if anything actually gets eaten. And feeling annoyed/annoying the entire damn time.

But here we are, doing it anyway. And I would like my anonymous responder and anyone else who feels the same way to understand why.

Essentially, there’s no other choice that leads to Tinlightenment being funded. The internet is changing. It’s never been easier for small, independent creators, especially those just starting out, to make something and put it up online. But it’s also never been harder to get people to actually see what you’re making if, like TCB, you’re dealing with longer-form work that cannot simply be reduced to a TikTok-sized bite. Attention spans are gone, interest is spread incredibly thin, and everything is awash in content. Kickstarter algorithms have changed and grown in a way that benefits the website itself but hinders smaller indie creators, making it much harder to get people to look at your kickstarter than it used to be. (This is BAD, by the way.) If a kickstarter doesn’t have a grand enough start, and this one really didn’t, the algorithm will proceed to bury it even further. So it becomes vital to share it around. But why share it again, and again, and again—especially in the same community or to the same follower pool? Because, like I said, this place is an ocean. I don’t know about you guys, but I see an average of less than a tenth of the posts made by people I follow. I didn’t even know how much I was missing until I started actually having friends on here and realized I wasn’t seeing a lot of their stuff. So you gotta keep throwing out the line so that it will finally reach this different follower who might reblog it to be seen by this different follower, and so-on until it breaks containment and reaches some completely new eyes, like a former Spies Are Forever fan who may find their interest re-ignited. (And these posts have generated interest! I've seen it.) It’s a quest to spread the word as far as possible, when the internet is functioning in a way that wants to keep said word contained and concentrated. So it’s a bit of a Catch-22. We shut up about Tinlightenment in order to appease people who agree with my anonymous responder, and then all the buzz dies and the word stops and the kickstarter dies buried in the algorithm.

So, yeah, the old technique—TCB sets up the kickstarter and does their livestreams, the rest of us reblog it and maybe post the occasional promo but nothing too special—isn’t working. Sure, 50k in the first week sounds REALLY good on paper, but the first week is usually when the largest amount of fundraising happens, and if that pattern holds true Tinlightenment will not reach its goal by a long-shot. The backer numbers also weren’t/aren’t adding up to past campaigns. Joey isn’t live-streaming backer thank yous for his health. Corey isn’t raffling off Wigglys for the hell of it, or even as part of the original plan. The campaign is in trouble. Like TCB, we’ve found ourselves in the position of needing to switch up our technique without knowing how. So we try new thing after new thing in search of the best way to evolve. Unfortunately, it does lead to some people repeatedly encountering the same core message over and over again, but there you have it.

(We’re also fighting against history. Every big project officially announced by Starkid, Tin Can Bros, or Shipwrecked has ended up being realized. For a while, it really did feel like people just… passively assumed this one would happen as well. But Tinlightenment is different. They’re trying to raise a Starkid level of money despite not being Starkid, and have been pretty upfront that they can’t do this season at all without this influx of funding. And Kickstarter is all-or-nothing, remember. Tinlightenment stands a really good chance of being the first announced StarCanWrecked project to not get made, and that wasn’t really clicking with a lot of people. So we had to draw a thick line under that particular detail.)

And so there it is. A pretty basic overview of the technical “why” behind some of us being so pushy and annoying. It’s kinda’ unavoidable if we wish to fund Tinlightenment and avoid putting TCB into a financial hole that could temper any future projects for years to come. If you truly do find it so annoying, I would recommend blocking the “tinlightenment” tag for the rest of February. We do try to tag our shit (I did go back while writing this and see that I’d accidentally forgotten to tag the survey post. My apologies and the mistake has been corrected). Curate your experience!

Lastly, to be clear, I do not believe at all that this anonymous person is refusing to pledge because I annoyed them on Tumblr. They were not going to back anyway. They listed multiple other reasons in the “why aren’t you backing?” answer block and saved this particular comment for the “anything else you wanna say” space, so I think they were just a little annoyed and frustrated by an internet experience (join the club), were finally given a chance to express that feeling, and took to it with gusto. But if anyone out there truly is refusing to back solely because of annoying fan recruitment efforts…. Well, I’d ask if screwing over some fiercely indie creatives whose work you’ve enjoyed (through TCB, Starkid, or Shipwrecked), as well as over 900 other people, and also depriving yourself of a season of projects in the process (everything will be available for digital tickets!) is really worth getting one over on a handful of fans being temporarily annoying and passionate on the fans-being-annoying-and-passionate website. Especially when, by and large, they won’t ever even know. Like, do we really wanna prioritize being that petty?

[bluegekk0]

Bit of a long post below, bit of a vent as well.

I wish the Tumblr for you dash actually showed me new stuff that isn't always related to HK. I do love the game but I've felt a sense of disconnect with the community for a while now, especially recently. Almost every piece of fanart I see is of the most popular characters, especially Hollow and the vessels. And it makes sense that they would be popular, but I never personally connected with them that much, so being bombarded with the art just makes me feel like I don't quite fit in. Which by itself isn't bad, but I've dealt with this kind of anxiety for years, the constant feeling that I'm not welcome and that I'm the weird one of the bunch. So refreshing the dash and seeing yet another fanart of the vessels, of Quirrel or any other popular character I don't personally connect with is like a constant reminder of those worries.

It also doesn't help that my interpretations of the characters are so disconnected from the rest of the fandom that it sometimes feels like the HK I love is not the same HK everyone else loves. And I do cherish my AU very much, it's pretty much the only way I enjoy HK these days, so I wouldnt trade that for anything, and I'm just as obsessed with it as I was a year ago. But it does add to that sense of disconnect, I guess. Though having people's support does more than enough to make up for that, I'm so grateful for all the nice comments, all the asks and just for knowing that people still care. It means a lot. It feels like a little community of its own within the fandom, and I'm hoping that one day the worries stop and I'll be able to fully enjoy this small niche.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just a bit frustrated by how Tumblr works. Even after mass reblogging TES posts my for you tab is still full of stuff from people I follow (like come on, there is a whole tab for those, why won't it stay there??), and idk I guess I would like to see more variety, instead of being reminded of that feeling of being an odd one out in the fandom. I've been struggling emotionally for months now and that just... doesn't help. I get frustrated and upset over the tiniest things.

I could take a break, but enjoying content about my favorite things always makes me feel better, so I wish it was easier to actually do that without being reminded of my worries. And I'm not sure if a break would actually do me any good. Maybe I'll try that one day.

[we-dont-talk-about-potato-nonono]

hi potato!!! omg im not sure if we're mutual yet but i love your art a whole lot!!!!💗💗💗💗 and you're also in brba/bcs fandom too?? that's awesome!!! hiii!! do you perhaps have a brbabcs oc? I'd love to know!

(or, if you dont have, maybe you want to make it..? 👀 abby can them can be friends...)

hey there! yeah im a huge fan of Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, but not really active in this fandom… i typically just lurk around, reblog and enjoy the silly memes on YouTube. if i feel inspired, i’ll just draw the characters (mostly jimmy & kim cuz im so normal about them ) and then bail. my squishy brain can't stay in one fandom for too long, it's always jumping around to another new interest. im glad you like my art ❤️ you got a beautiful drawings too!

oo your ask inspired me to create an OC for BCS/BRBA! here she is! her name is Joy

she doesn't have much details and backstory yet, but im planning to flesh her out more if im not busy with other things.

with how messed up the brbabcs world can be, figured that putting my OC as a Los Pollos Hermanos employee would fit right in. she’s also Lyle’s close friend! let’s just hope she doesn't face as much tragedy as the other characters lmao

gonna put on read more for the question about being mutuals because this post is already long ⬇️

[shaking and crying rn i hope i don’t upset anyone..]

so.. uhm im very picky about who i actually follow & follow back because i need to limit it for the sake for my dashboard. preferably id have to REALLY like and rather follow blogs that i vibe & familiar with the contents that i want to see than something… i dont really want to look at 🙏 this is just how i curate my experience

in general, i also dont feel comfortable with others dming me personal things and it feels anxiety-inducing. unless it’s a specific topic like art discussion about drawing tips, ocs design, request, art trades, collab and maybe commission

im SO SORRY 🙏 🙏 it’s nothing personal i swear, really! and im letting yall know that i will always recognize and remember all the people who consistently ✨ like and reblog ✨my stuff and you're all honorary mutuals to me even if i don't follow you back and i appreciate you all sm!!! <3 i go bounce bounce seeing everyone being super sweet in my notif

if yall interact often and you’re super nice in the notific you’re already a mutual for me! 🩷 sending me question and art suggestion never bothers me! i love to talk, get to know and interact more with people in this lovely app! :)

thanks for the question!

[heckcdup]

Guidelines

1. Please no god-modding (Aka controlling my character without my permission) I will auto not reply to you. 

2. Please no hate, I can take criticism, if you have ANY kind suggestions, please be…kind about it! Hate will cause an instant block

3. Keep in mind that I am a person, real person, I have a life, I work full time (over time), I run another blog, a personal one, and I have a million other role plays off of tumblr that I have been doing for years so if I owe you something don’t pester me. If you haven’t heard from me in say…a day or two then send me a reminder, but otherwise, I don’t want to hear every hour that I haven’t replied yet. Thanks!

4. NSFW- yes, smut included (mun is over 21– over 35 actually), I will tag nsfw, as nfsw.

5.I try to tag, sometimes I forget, sometimes I’m lazy. I’m working on it though- if there is something that you wish to tag please tell me and I will usually prioritize tagging that. (spoilers tag is usually -insert show/movie here- spoilers, example: arrow spoilers that being said this is not a spoiler free blog) 

6. This is a multi-ship, multi-verse, multi-everything. muses crossover okay blog so all threads will exist in alternate universes unless stated otherwise or discussed between muns. 

7. I am a shipwhore, 9/10 times If you ship it I ship it, .5 times if you don’t ship it I probably ship it and the other .5 times if I don’t ship it I can be convinced to ship it. There is only one small catch to this- chemistry. Chemistry between muns and muse is important to me. If my writing doesn’t flow with yours then I’m sorry I can’t promise the ship will work out (this goes for any ship, friendship, relationship, enemy-ship…) I usually don’t turn people away. I try to give everyone a chance, but I make no promises. In reverse though, being a shipwhore I will never force a ship. If you don’t ship something that is FINE, even if its just with my portrayal, let me know if that’s the case! Really I’m not going to get offended or upset or freak out. Felicity could use friends- enemies? family? I just love to rp in general. If I ever seem to be making you uncomfortable with a ship than tell me please. I would hate to do that to someone just like I would hate for it to happen to me, all I ask is that you tell me nicely and I promise I won’t bite, really!

8. THIS BLOG IS SELECTIVE PRIVATE AND MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE. I do have mains and will make a mains page but anyone I follow and follows me I will interact with regardless of being a main or not, otherwise if I don’t follow you please refrain from sending me things. Breaking this rule to the point of making me uncomfortable will lead me to blocking you. 

9. Just because I’ve been having trouble on and off the last few months with this I want a reminder, while I am mutually exclusive I am NOT fully exclusive. I WILL interact with multiples of the same character. I WILL have multiples of the same character on my mains list if I feel like it. This is not done to hurt anymore or because I don’t like certain portrayals. If I follow you I like you. It’s as simple as that. I just cannot and will not be limited or held back with who I want to write with. 

10. I reserve the right to change any of these rules at anytime. If I do I will post a PSA.  

11. This is more just a side note not so much a rule but…Not all gifs or icons are mine. They are found on icon/gif hunts which can/have been credited by liking and/or reblogging (tagged: icons or gif hunt) or made for me. If you see something of yours and wish me to either credit or not use please let me know I don’t bite and I would never intentionally take something that wasn’t meant to be shared! 

[agro-carnist]

Hoo boy. So on top of dealing with COVID, I also had an incredibly stressful day yesterday. I’ve calmed down enough today to make this post addressing what happened. If you haven’t seen yet, @/is-the-owl-video-cute and some of their followers have been saying some horrible things about me

This started because I blocked them some time ago. I did this because I was tired of seeing them always going on tangents. I started being upset with them back when they were having really bad takes on vulture culture, but did not block them then because I wanted to leave it as water under the bridge since they were still an educated figure on raptors. But consistently they kept ranting about things I didn’t agree with or just didn’t want to see as I was only interested in the animal welfare based content. I blocked them silently because I did not want to start any fights with them. Just not be involved with that anymore and continue our lives. When they noticed they were blocked by me, they and their followers began speculating as to why, which ended up with them bringing up a lot irrelevant things and assuming many things about me.

One of the assumptions is that I am a proshipper. I am not. And I do not like being dragged into online shipping discourse. I am not interested in being put into an “us vs them” dichotomy and I am not comfortable being involved in that discourse. 

The proship accusation was just the small thing though. Later I was being accused of something that I truly could not take. I have thick skin, not much will really get to me in the online world, but this is one thin that gets me to my core. As you guys know, I’m a therian. I have another tumblr blog where I talk about my therianthropy and general alterhumanity. An anon shared this with owlvid, and because of what they found, I am being called a zoophile.

I am being accused of this because of this post I reblogged. Owlvid has deliberately misinterpreted the message of this thread to accuse me (and others that have been dragged into this) of being a zoophile/apologist (some of their posts call me an apologist and others insinuate I am a zoo myself, or has anons saying that I am a zoo). Some things they are claiming:

That I and others are claiming therians are all zoophiles and that zoophilia is good

That the post did not say raping animals is bad; more claims that it says zoophilia is “good and normal”

MORE asserting that the post claims therian = zoophile, and that it says therians SHOULD identify as zoophiles

That there are zoophiles in the thread

Let’s get this clear: none of these claims are true. The thread does not say that being a zoophile is “good” or “normal” or that therians are all zoophiles or should identify as zoophiles, and there are also no zoos in the thread. Every person in the thread made it clear that bestiality is immoral. The point was to not immediately demonize people with involuntary attractions. People with paraphilic disorders should not be treated as automatically predators. People don’t just decide to become zoophiles. And some people’s alterhumanity relates to their illnesses or disorders. Having a paraphilic disorder is morally neutral. It is having sexual contact with an animal that is morally reprehensible. I and others don’t want to stigmatize people with disorders or treat them like monsters for things they did not choose and can not get rid of. As for owlvid saying that none of the “zoophiles” in the thread said they were getting help - that’s because nobody in the thread is a zoophile. I would also like to point out that this demonization of those suffering with paraphilic disorders keeps them from seeking professional help and drives them to seek people that will enable their urges. There’s also a lot of other reasons why someone does not go to therapy, which I believe many of the people accusing me would agree with, including financial barriers, or being part of a demographic that is often dismissed by psychiatric professionals. People paraphilic disorders need support, not constant demonization. This is why I reblogged that post. People like owlvid insist that these people are inherently predatory, and anything less than full acceptance of their own monstrous nature means they are defending bestiality or trying to normalize zoophilia. Zoophiles, even when they are aware of the immorality of acting on their attractions, need to admit themselves to therapy immediately, no matter the situations, and failure to do so means they are evil, and they should also not try to seek a support group of like minded individuals because then they are promoting their attractions. I don’t see this mindset as anything but reductive and harmful. It will achieve the opposite of what we all want - for animals to be safe from sexual abuse.

There is another thing that owlvid and an anon has said about me:

That I am suspicious for working with animals/I am a danger to the animals I work with

I am appalled by this. Nothing could make me more sick. To insinuate that I chose this line of work so I could abuse animals is unacceptable to me. I work with animals because I want to help them and because I have an interest in medicine. I made this whole blog all about doing good for animals and have been doing this for years. I’ve even talked about how bestiality is immoral and animals cannot consent to sex for years. I have made enemies with big name zoos online. LycanTheory and Toggle the Rat hate me and have attacked me because I am anti bestiality. That all this could be undone because of a single post that has been willfully misread and misinterpreted is incredibly insulting to me.

And another reason why I spend the better part of yesterday feeling faint and nauseous: I suffer from OCD, which includes intrusive thoughts that horrify and disgust me. Owlvid mentioned intrusive thoughts on their blog, so they should know how awful they are. I have zoophilic intrusive thoughts, and on my worst days make me question myself, who I am as a person, and make me want to hurt myself. Accusing someone with intrusive thoughts of actually wanting to do those things is incredibly triggering. Owlvid surely did not mean this, but it hurt me greatly anyways. I am not a zoophile. I do not condone bestiality. I am disgusted by animal sexual abuse. I am just not a reactionary when it comes to discussions about paraphilias.

I cannot stand for this attack on my character. I cannot stress enough how disgusted, appalled, infuriated, demoralized, upset I am by this.

[wwinterwitch]

good boy — jonathan byers

summary: you confront jonathan after a rumor you heard and this goes way better than he expected

pairing: jonathan byers x fem!cheerleader!reader

word count: 3.2K

warnings/what to expect: SMUT 18+ (MINORS DNI), popular/loser trope, making out, semi-public sex (photography club classroom), lots of dirty talk, teasing, oral (m and f receiving), pussydrunk!jonathan, perv!jonathan, stalker!jonathan, vaginal fingering, slight dom/sub (dom!reader/sub!jonathan), voyeurism, exhibitionism, multiple female orgasms, nudes, pet names (mostly good boy), very slight degradation, kinda brat/brat-taming but not really, gif is not mine!

a reblog and/or comment on my posts really help me out as a content creator so thank you in advance if you take the time to do either!

main masterlist | stranger things masterlist

That day, you and Jonathan Byers were all the other students could talk about. Two completely different people somehow had a connection. Something that linked the most popular girl in school to one of the biggest weirdos out there.

Apparently, he has a very creepy crush and/or obsession with you. A group of jocks were calling him names and one of them had the idea of smacking his portafolio out of his hands, making it fall to the ground. Tons of pictures of you fell from the portafolio and he very unsuccessfully tried to keep them out of the jocks' view. Of course they were able to see them, managing to grab a few from the ground before Jonathan could do anything about it.

It was you smiling brightly at the crowd right after finishing a cheerleading routine. You laughing next to your car with a group of your friends in the school's parking lot. There were even photos of you outside of school, which evidently was creepy considering you never hung out with Jonathan Byers. He has no reason to have photos of you, especially outside of school.

The rumor spread fairly quickly, meaning every student was aware that this weirdo has photos of you.

You'd heard random people talking about it, saying how weird he was for doing something like that. Your friends reminded you that you needed to do something before it got real dangerous, claiming he was definitely a stalker (some even claimed he's definitely a serial killer).

But you weren't as upset as you should be. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, he shouldn't be taking photos of you and keeping them to himself without your permission. But...deep down, you were intrigued.

You didn't know he had it in him. You never expected shy-looking Jonathan Byers to be chasing you around town to see what you were doing. To have so many pictures of you to stare at...it was kind of exciting.

Your friends would kill you for thinking like this. That the idea of him wanting you so bad he just has to follow you around and keep pictures of you might turn you on just a little bit. They would think you're insane for actually enjoying the idea of having Jonathan as your stalker.

To your luck, you were running a little late that day, which meant the halls were relatively empty when you spotted him walking outside the photography club. He didn't notice you were there until he turned, his behavior immediately changing the moment he saw you walking towards him.

He was nervous, standing there like a lost little puppy while he tried not to make eye contact with you. He has the audacity to follow you around, yet crumbles to pieces the second he sees you in school? You shouldn't be enjoying that little detail so much.

"Hey," you said like it was nothing. Like you aren't talking to the guy that has a concerning amount of photos with your face on them.

"H–Hey," he mutters, barely able to look at you.

"I'll be honest with you, Jonathan," you started, crossing your arms across your chest. He gulped, expecting you to start insulting him or something for all the rumors. "You're weird. Taking photos of another person without their knowledge is weird– but, oddly enough, I'm not as mad as I should be."

"You...are not?"

"No," you shake your head. "I actually think it's kind of flattering."

"Flattering?" he says in complete disbelief, not able to look away from you when you grab the doorknob of the door right behind him. You open it, gently pushing Jonathan inside.

"You're not busy, are you?"

He shakes his head.

"Is there anyone coming to this room any time soon?"

He shakes his head again, which made you smile because everything was going according to plan. You turn around to lock the door, meeting the curious gaze of Jonathan Byers. "What are you doing?" he dared to ask.

"It's just for privacy...not like you care much about that, anyway," you replied sarcastically, which made him look away from you. "Relax, it's a joke! I said I was flattered. However, I wonder...why take photos of me?"

He realized you were expecting an answer, but he didn't know what to say. It was clear to you that he was very nervous, which only encouraged you to continue.

"Why take so many pictures just of me?"

Jonathan was blushing at this point, avoiding looking at you at all times. He was embarrassed and you loved it. "Don't make me say it..." he mutters.

"Oh, but I'll have to make you if you don't," was your reply, which totally caught him by surprise judging by the look on his face. "I want to hear it from you."

"I–I took them because...because I like you."

"Like me?" you repeated. "But you don't even know me," you added, faking a very innocent-sounding voice.

"I know, but...I mean, you're popular. I feel like I know you at least a little bit..."

"Or maybe you feel like you know me so well because you like to follow me around town?"

Once again, he was silent. You were enjoying this a little too much. To bring the stalker down by reminding him how much of a perv he is. There was a brief pause before you finally blurted out, "Have you touched yourself while looking at them?"

He looked mortified. "What?! I..."

You move closer, which made him take a step back, bumping into a desk that prevented him from creating more distance between the two of you. And he could've moved. He would have escaped you if he really wanted, but he simply stood there as you moved to be right in front of him.

"You like seeing my face when you're jerking off?" you asked further. "To imagine you're about to cum on my mouth rather than a piece of paper?"

"Shit– I...I don't know–"

"Come on, Jon," you interrupted in a sweet voice. "Wouldn't you love to cum in my mouth?"

"I– yes. Yes, I'd like that."

You grinned. He's been broken.

"Do you think about that when you masturbate?" you insisted, trying very hard not to kiss him already.

"Yes," he finally replied.

"Good boy," you quickly said, leaning closer as both of your arms wrapped around his neck.

You could feel his trembling hands resting at your sides the moment you kissed him. It was easy to tell Jonathan was still very nervous, so you move a hand to his hair and tangle your fingers in it, pulling just slightly. That earned you a positive reaction, so it encouraged you to do it again.

He opened his mouth just enough so your tongue could reach his, deepening the kiss. Your bodies are pressed now, and you could feel his bulge growing already.

As you continued to make out, your hands traveled to the first button of his short-sleeved shirt, starting to make your way down until you opened it entirely and removed it from his pants, fingers tracing up and down his newly exposed chest before reaching further down to grab his belt.

You pull away and immediately get on your knees, enjoying the way Jonathan couldn't seem to keep his eyes away from you, almost hypnotized by your every move. To be completely fair with him, he couldn't have known this would be happening- ever.

People like you never turn to look at people like him. You could have any other person that you wanted, someone much more interesting and less awkward than him. He's just the weird kid that walks around with a camera and can't seem to keep a single friend. You are the head cheerleader everyone adores. Why would you ever be interested in him?

But now he's locked in a room with you when both of you should be in class, and you're on your knees right in front of him. It's like a dream come true.

You leave tiny kisses on his lower stomach, earning a few soft moans from him that were just music to your ears. He's so cute, even when he's about to get his dick sucked. Never breaking eye contact, you start to unbuckle his belt before focusing on removing his pants and boxers.

A louder moan escapes his mouth when you grab his cock and start pumping him in a slow rhythm, enjoying seeing his reaction whenever your hand would move up and down. Then, your fingers focused exclusively on his tip, gently brushing against him as you see his frustration growing because you're not touching him properly.

"What's wrong?" you asked, as if you didn't have a clue why he looked so frustrated.

"Please..."

"What is it?" you insisted. "You'll have to use your words, Jon."

"I want to feel your mouth on me."

You grinned, not wanting to waste your chance to tease him even further. "And where do you want my mouth, baby?"

Jonathan sighed, visibly about to lose it, but deep down he was enjoying the things you'd say to him before encouraging him to keep talking too. "On my dick," he eventually says, all flustered as his cheeks turn a darker shade of red.

"That's my good boy."

You're not sure if the sound that left Jonathan's mouth was due to the fact that you said he's your good boy, or because you licked the length of his dick before you put it inside your mouth.

One of his hands moved to the back of your head almost immediately, his hips starting to rock back and forth as you continued to bop your head, making sure to take your time teasing his tip with your tongue before taking as much of him that could fit inside your mouth.

"You look...so pretty," he compliments, watching as you suck him off so eagerly, like your life depended exclusively on pleasing him. "So pretty."

Moans would repeatedly leave his mouth while you continued to work on him. What seemed to almost make him come undone was the fact that you pulled away just so you could spit on his cock, using that as lubrication to pump him with your hand while your mouth worked once again on his tip.

You could tell he was close just by looking at him. All you could do was look at him doe-eyed, silently pleading for him to fill your mouth with his load. You needed it just as badly as him.

Eventually, he spoke again. "I'm– shit, I think I'm close..."

You let out a sound, trying to let him know there was no problem with that. It took just a few seconds before he let his loudest moan out, his cum filling your mouth. It was unthinkable to leave any drop going to waste, so you made sure to swallow it as it kept pouring inside your mouth.

When you take him out of your mouth, he leans to gently grab your face (completely contrasting with what you were just doing) to pull you into a kiss. You were surprised he was willing to kiss you after you sucked his dick, because not many guys like to do that.

Yet, Jonathan hungrily devoured your mouth with no intention of ever letting you go. His hands were resting on your ass, squeezing the flesh there. The gesture made you moan against his lips, feeling how your clothed pussy rubbed against his pants ever so slightly, enough to make you want more.

His lips found your neck as you lean your head back to give him more space. He was practically sitting on top of the desk with you on top of his leg while you craved more friction, wishing to be completely pressed against his pants.

"Can I return the favor?" you heard him ask against your neck. "Please..."

You grinned. "Yeah? You want to make me feel good now?"

"Yes, please. I'll be good, I promise."

"Oh, I don't doubt it. Is this another one of your little fantasies? Have you thought about eating me out in my cute little cheerleader uniform?"

"Fuck...all the time."

You moved back so you could look him in the eye. He was confused when he noticed you pulled away, but you could see the shift in his eyes when you gently sat on top of the desk, legs wide open for him.

He got on his knees almost immediately, and you had to keep yourself under control because you couldn't get enough of the fact that he was so eager and so willing to do absolutely anything for you.

Jonathan began kissing your inner thigh, each contact of his lips with your skin closer and closer to where you needed him the most. He looked up at you, looking so incredibly adorable as he made sure he was doing a good job.

You let out a soft moan the second you feel his lips kissing you on top of your underwear, feeling his tongue licking a single strap upwards just a second later.

He reached up to take off your underwear. "Can I take these off?" he asked before doing any other movements, as if there was a chance you'd ever say no.

You got up from the desk and took your own underwear off, knowing he would probably take his time with it and you really needed to feel his mouth against you.

"Someone's eager," he jokingly commented once you were seated again.

The comment made you grab his hair, pulling him closer to your pussy. "How about you put your mouth to a much better use?" you half-warned, not enjoying his little joke.

Jonathan didn't argue, immediately burying his face in between your legs. He was hungry and desperate, like he's been waiting for this to happen for as long as he can remember. His eagerness made you that much desperate, still pulling at his hair.

He was being loud and messy, not caring to get your juices all over him or making obscene noises as he continued eating you out. It was quite the show to see him so desperate to make you cum.

"You feel so good, Jon," you say as a way to encourage him. "I bet you've been dreaming about this, huh? To have me all to yourself with your tongue buried deep in my cunt?"

You could feel Jonathan's moans against you, the sensation making you want more of it. That's why you decided to keep talking.

"You're gorgeous, baby boy. And you're so good to me...such a good little boy, about to make me cum all over his mouth."

He started sucking on your clit hard, but it didn't feel painful in the slightest. It just encourages you to keep talking. "Look at you. A massive pervert chasing me around town, yet you fold the second I give you just a little bit of attention. It's so hot."

You practically had to hold back the scream that you almost let out when Jonathan started rapidly fingering you, two of his fingers curled and knuckle-deep inside of you, moving at an impossibly faster speed.

Jonathan continued to suck on your clit and finger the life out of you, and all you could do is moan and curse because it feels so good.

You imagined that by the time you reached your orgams he would stop, yet despite the fact that you just cum all over his fingers, he didn't stop. If anything, he was only fingering you harder.

"Jon..." you were able to let out, too stimulated and sensitive to say anything else.

"Who's folding now?" he asked as soon as he pulled away from your clit.

"Asshole," you mutter right before another moan comes out of your mouth.

"Am I your good little boy or am I an asshole? Make up your mind."

"Fucking shut up," you simply replied, feeling your second orgams rapidly approaching.

Once again, you thought he would stop. That when he noticed your pussy clenching around his fingers and your legs closing shut he would leave you alone. But he didn't. He continued to finger you like you haven't already cumed two times in a row. You tried to get him to stop, but his fingers were still inside of you and his tongue was once again playing with your extremely sensitive clit.

"Jonathan, please..." you had to beg in between wimpers, but he wasn't pulling away. "I'm too...oh, fuck fuck fuck!" you blurted out, feeling yet another orgasm spreading across your entire body. You really didn't know how much of this you were able to tolerate. The pleasure was just too much, and you doubted your body could handle a fourth orgasm. You practically had to pull him by his hair and close your legs shut so he could give you a break. If he wanted to get back at you for what you said earlier, he definitely did by now.

He finally decided to let you rest, standing up to give you a kiss instead. Once again you were surprised by his duality. He was holding your hips so delicately, kissing you so gently...he looks nothing like the guy hungrily eating you out just seconds ago.

You accepted his kiss almost immediately, hands tracing up and down his chest as you two continued to make out, this time much more gentle than before.

Suddenly remembering something, you pulled away from him. He was confused, watching you reach out to grab your backpack that was on the table too. "I almost forgot," you said, grinning when you found what you were looking for and handing it to him. "I got you a little gift."

Jonathan waited for you to reveal what was the gift you were talking about, looking at the white envelope with his name written outside with curiosity. He looked at you for a few seconds before opening it, his eyes widening when he realized what was inside.

"I thought you'd like those type of photos a little bit more," you commented, watching him go through each and every single one of them, scanning your naked body and appreciating all the poses you did for him.

"A little?" he asked, amused.

You noticed he was getting hard just looking at the pictures, so you gently grabbed his dick again to slowly stroke him, earning a positive reaction from him. You continued to jerk him off while he looked at more of those pictures.

"I'm glad you like them," you started, finally letting him go as you stood up from your spot on the desk. "They can help you out with your little situation."

"But..." he started, confused as to why you're putting your panties back on when you were just helping him get fully hard again.

"What, you want my help?" you interrupted. "Next time try not to tell so many jokes and maybe I'll stick around to help you."

"That's not...it's not fair."

"I don't care," you replied, grabbing your stuff before you walked closer to him to give him a quick kiss. "Enjoy your photos."

Without giving him time to reply, you walked over to the door and unlocked it before walking outside the photography club. You knew Jonathan would probably have to stay there a few more minutes with your photos to get rid of his erection, and you really hope he figures out what to do before someone finds him in that room, completely naked and holding very inappropriate pictures of you.

You enjoyed playing with Jonathan so much, you cannot wait to have your stalker all to yourself again.

[onlythebravest]

recently read: feburary 2023 🌋

I’ve succeeded to keep track of what I’ve read for another month! go me!! and don’t ask me about my header choices, they’re decided on whatever I was thinking about when I made them. and last night I watched a documentary about volcanoes. 

If you decide to check any of these fics out, make sure to show the author some love. Leave kudos, a comment and, if possible, reblog (or retweet) the fic post! and a big thank you to all these amazing authors! thank you for sharing your writing with us!

Wed’n Walk (Or, We Went to Amsterdam Together) by @hellolovers13 (E, 11k, friends to lovers, share a bed, fluff) When Harry had first started planning his honeymoon to Amsterdam, he had not envisioned ending up there with his best friend. Or getting fake-married to him for 24 hours.

On The Horizon by FitzAndLarry (E, WIP, 148k+, fake relationship, cruise) Drunk, loose, and excited on the first night of his two-week-long cruise, Doctor Harry Styles finds himself with a little extra company on what has turned out to be a lonely experience. Louis, the pilot who helped fly him across the Atlantic, is the object of his fling. Thus begins an adventure filled with laughter, sun, and trauma rearing its ugly head. Deadline on their companionship, the pair commit to enjoying their time - and Harry, the screw-up he is, can't help but lose himself in the fantasy.

I’m so invested in these characters and love learning more stuff about them, from the small things to the big things! i’m so excited to follow along on the rest of the journey these characters have

Let's Get Skating by @wabadabadaba (G, 1.3k; a/b/o, beta/omega, meet cute) Or, Harry plans on going ice skating alone but those plans change when a very cute stranger forgets his headphones.

this was soo cute, we really need more a/b/o fics with non-traditional pairing, esp ones including betas. 

did I upset you, daddy? (take out your frustration on me) by @larrydoinglaundry (E, 3.5k, established, pwp, voyeurism) Harry misbehaves, so Louis gets off without him. Harry of course has to watch.

Miia is one author that I can drop everything for when she publishes a new fic, and that’s exactly what I did with this. No regrets!! 

Angels Fly by LilyBlue28 (NR, 203k, a/b/o, werewolves, war) A magical love story featuring a generations long grudge, a menacing curse, and secrets that keep pulling them apart. Will they be able to find a way back to one another through the dark?

I actually read this two times in a row, because after finishing it the first time I had no idea how to move on. 

to be a better man by @thedevilinmybrain (E, 9.9k, cheating, smut) “Just giving you an out, lad. Like Harry would even look at you. He’s too busy crawling up my ass to notice anyone else.” Leon snarls, rolling his eyes in a dismissive shake of his head. “But if you’re so concerned, go see what he wants. Make him happy enough to leave me alone, eh? Since you’re so worried.”

Jennifer is another of my “drop everything and go read” authors, and she didn’t disappoint either! 

a concert six months from now by Wolfiemcwolferson (M, 82k, right person wrong time, angst, open ending) Harry Styles met Louis Tomlinson at the Hollywood Bowl in 2011 and it's going to be a problem for the rest of his life. feat: songwriting for Niall, The National, Martin guitars, pearls, and the author's love letter to the cliffs of La Jolla.

this fic was absolutely amazing. I haven’t seen a lot of “right person, wrong time” fics, so that was really fun. It has a bunch of drabbles I haven’t gotten to yet too.

Backstage at the Grammy’s by @neondiamond (M, <1k, established, canon) There’s someone waiting in Harry’s dressing room after his performance at the Grammy’s.

More cute stuff from Jess that never disappoints

Drops of Jupiter by @itsmotivatingcara (M, 121k, murder mystery, autistic Louis, enemies to lovers) In a small, sleepy town ruled by prejudice, Louis Tomlinson runs his grandmothers shop for the occult. He finds comfort in his tarot cards, his friends, and a dog that he doesn't have room for. He thought the worst he'd have to deal with would be bigotry, until a new sheriff arrives with a headstrong little girl that's impossible not to fall in love with.

Loved the autism representation in this!! 

When The Stars Come Out by @briannamarguerite​ (E, 30k, fake relationship, pining, sexual tension) Or the one where Louis pretends to be Gemma's boyfriend for her horrid cousin's wedding but fate is a nasty jerk and throws Harry in his way.

The Warmth of Your Body by @zanniscaramouche (M, 46k, a/b/o, werewolves, slow burn, war) Or: historical full shift werewolf packs and Louis looking a little too attractive even when covered in blood.

Devil in my brain, whispering my name by @lunarheslwt (E, 9.1k, angel/demon, pwp) Or, Louis, a demon, shows Harry, an angel, just how good it can feel to give in to temptation and sin.

WING KINK!!! I’m such a big fan of wing kink fics, so thank you Niv for writing it!

The Top of Your Lungs by @zanniscaramouche (M, 31k, a/b/o, werewolves, slow burn, war) There is something about Harry Styles and the way the moon sings his name, but will it be enough to convince Louis to face the misbegotten power latent in his veins? Through the throes of battle and passion, it's a test of will-power for Louis to keep himself from doing the unimaginable and following his heart.

Good Dogs Don’t Bark by @haztobegood (M, 2.2k, established, canon, pet play) “Don’t know where it came from, but it’s here to stay,” Harry laughed into the mic. Barking at the crowd gave him such a thrill. He couldn’t remember the first time he barked at the crowd, but he remembered how it made his heart race every time. He always wondered how his Master would react if he were there. Would he be punished for barking in public? But Louis had been busy with his own world tour, and Harry kept barking.

I Do (I Don't) by @greenfeelings (E, WIP, 12k+, fake relationship, pining) In which it’s Niall’s big day and Zayn’s got a foolproof plan (he doesn’t), Liam is completely clueless to what's going on around him (he isn’t), Harry thinks he’s only imagined there’s a spark between Louis and him (he hasn’t), and Louis ends up in the biggest mess ever created (he really does).

Unplant by @hellolovers13 (M, 4.4k, meet cute ish, trans Harry) Louis should've looked where he was going, then he wouldn't have to desperately try to save a little flower now.

Teach me how to love by @perfectdagger​ (E, 70k, strangers to friends to lovers, friends with benefits, practice sex) The one in which Harry is bad at sex and Louis spreads it all over town and to make up for it, decides to help him with no agenda of getting anything from it, but in the end, he ends up getting more than he bargained for.

I love fics that have bad sex, and this sex was truly awful - I loved it!

All these years by @guccistrawberries​ (M, 6.7k, friends to lovers, love confessions) or Harry and Louis finally get it right.

John Doe by FitzAndLarry (G, 12k, coffee shop, shy Louis, strangers to lovers) There's a boy taking the stand at the open mic night where Harry works as a barista, and he's going to find out the boy's name if it's the last thing he does. An ode to Never Shout Never, and a story about finding a new home.

Feelin' It Out by @itsnotreal (E, 2.9k, meet cute, banter, pwp) Or out having drinks with Liam leads Harry to a sushi date with Louis, the beautiful man he kept catching eyes with across the room.

Feel my breath upon your thighs by @larrydoinglaundry (E, 3k, established, dom/sub, pwp) Harry just really likes Louis' cock.

Like air to the fire I need you to breathe by @larrydoinglaundry (E, 5k, a/b/o, established, nesting) Harry is in preheat and Louis is nervous about his upcoming heat, fearing that he might not be able to fulfill his mate's needs. Lucky for him, Harry knows how to push the right buttons to get him relaxed.

Previous months: Jan

[s0lar-ch3ri]

ok so continuing what i started for tumblr user @urlocaldilf, will have more spoilers and shit so be warned

short ending for ollie but basically ollie cant be labeled as a child or as an adult so the idea that his title is "the small boy we keep on the ship" fits perfectly because it acknowledges that ollie is small and young yet it doesnt say that hes weak or immature because hes not, hes strong (literally and mentally) or immature to a degree

then we got jay ferin. im certain i've rambled on her before so if youd like more on her i connect her and gill on this reblog of another persons amazing post here anyways jay is a character who seems to not change much yet changes a lot still just more subtle i guess. i feel like at the beginning she let the boys speak a lot more and kept trying to be a neutral person yet now shes more vocal and more inputting in conversations and choices. its not that jay was neutral, its just with the way her dad seems (plus being in the fucking navy) she probably was a people pleaser. however, instead of following orders, not trying to upset those above her, all that shit, she learns that out on the sea, she has to upset people. she has to give orders. and i think that especially was hammered in when they became co-captains, because now she gave orders and had to decide whats good for the crew, and most importantly for herself.

honestly i doubt jay had time to be a little girl because we do hear how harsh her dad was (he fucking shot her doll when she was i think 7) and it seems like by the time of zero or even the humble beginnings ep shes in the navy and (mentioned by chip in not ferin well) a high rank at that. her dad must be a big influence on her (family is def one of her if not biggest motivators (JUST HEARD A LINE IN EP 87 CONFIRMING THIS, "jay has never openly defied her family" and it also adds into being in the navy a while as we can assume most her family is/was navy)) from all this (i dont wanna keep repeating "navy dad jay was navy before big life impact" so yeah) so even the choice of a childhood wasnt one suited for her, she was confined t6o the silent, strong, politle yet agressive when needed girl we saw her before as. however, the only thing thats been kept is that shes strong, stronger then before.

when i see things talking about how jay's simply "carrying the riptide pirates" or shes "a badass with a gun", i think about the post i once saw saying that we put her on that high a pedistol and it makes it worse when she falls and thats just truth, and thats semi how i see jay wanting to be before. the one incharge of the group, the badass with it all under control, a one man machine because thats what the navy needs. but co-captain jay? the jay ferin that worked with her captains to take down the blossom boss? the same jay that decided to go against the scariest figure in her life (and possibly in all of mana to the oversea) and help her friends despite knowing they may hate her for being a traitor? that jay ferin is a badass because she trusts her captains and has became more reliant (and trusting) on help from her friends and sea family, so they help her be a badass. because, despite whats been shown in shows and media in general, its much more badass to have so much confidence in how much your team has your and their back and team efforts are always more badass then single one-man team destroyers in my book!

when i think of ollie and jay, i think jay sees how he acts and thinks of the nervous girl she was, and encourages him to be a bit more calm (not a lot more because being timid isnt a bad thing and thats just how ollie is). because they both came on this ship, doubtful and a bit confused, timid and undermining of their strengths, and now they wouldnt trade this for the world because now theyre strong believers in the albatross and chip (gillion was always pretty chill in jay and ollie's eyes, no doubt, but chip is a sneaker (didnt even notice the sneaker, meant to type sneaky but thats so much funnier) motherfucker and theres no way either trusted him at first (canon for jay, unsure for ollie)) and in their own abilities.

in actual "how do they see each other relation wise", cousins who see each other like once a year, or like chill older sister with nervous small brother that bring out the chaos in each other when their together! but thats like more of hc territory just wanted to add that

i literally could do any other character in riptide besides the black rose rn (minus lizzy and chip, and maybe finn but def wouldnt be my best), one time npcs, gryffon, anyone past ep 87 (current ep), or anybody working with jazz (includes jazz) and grimm may be off the table due to how little i have on him I WILL GET MORE INFO ON EACH CHARACTER THOUGH SO I CAN DO THEM ALL

what if i just rambled

like ik people have thoughts that they cant get out but what if i became so autistic enough that i understood the blorbo and- fuck it lets talk about a jrwi character again (spoilers obvi)

i couldnt choose between ollie and jay but i feel like ollie i got more to talk about for so ill do him first then jay cause they feel very connected for no fucking reason

so i think everyone acknowledges that ollie is just a kid but he really isnt just a kid? like he semi has the mind of an adult from the usage of the compass, because it didnt just mature him physically, but mentally too. from what i can guess, it was slow and unnoticeable until it was too big for ollie to know how to handle. thats when ollie was a kid.

yet ollie adapted, and while he really was 12 for that time still, he wasnt a kid. he grew up for a bit, he was an adult. and thats what scared him. because we all have been scared of growing too fast. so when ollie had that hit him like a truck, he didnt want to leave bed and shit. yet he became the adult his body reflected. sure, he never was fully an adult, but thats because hes not just an adult, hes still a kid.

and after he had adjusted to it, he got to have it for a couple more days. then it was gone. all the growth was now unnecessary and he didnt know what to do again. yet he didnt handle it like he did the first time. he thought about it. and again, he got over it. yet he didnt let go of what maturing so quick taught him, and hes still grown after. because hes something in between an adult and child, yet its not a teen or something.

another thing to note: ollie didnt have a say every fucking time. when he aged up, he didnt ask for it. he asked for a way to get him home and maybe it brought out another desire ollie had inside him by using it so much (touching on that more later). when ollie adjusted, he didnt ask to. he probably just wanted to curl away in that blanket and hide, because it was scary out there. yet somewhere inside he thought earl was right (earl calls him a baby or smth because he just keeps on staying in bed) and forced himself to adapt the new adult body. and when he was aged back, he didnt get a say. chip just decided it, thinking thats what ollie wanted. and he did, he did want to be a kid again. yet he wasnt ready yet. but when would he be?

so why do i bring up so much his lack of input? because it sounds similar to how he got onto the albatross. he first was taken from his home, then working with marshal jon, then working with the albatross. now being so amazed by the sea yet scared of its dangers hes been accustomed to quite a bit now, soon enough hes going back home and has to act like he didnt have the most terrifying and great adventure of his lifetime (another detail i wanted to add is theres no way jon and ollie didnt encounter some form of sea monsters or danger after being out at sea so long, we jsut arent told anything about it so yeah extra trauma thoughts).

so to me, ollie's lying (like his dad aka chip would /j). to me, ollie's desire wasnt just to return home. i doubt it was more then just a whiff of a thought that loomed in ollies head. because yeah, he wanted to go home, but not yet. he wanted to be on the ship longer, but not jsut that. he wanted to be able to help his friends. he didnt like seeing his friends come back beaten and bruised, yet being in the corner doing nothing. and he was told by chip that when he was older he could hang out with them on the ship again. so ollie, unknowing of consequences that could happen, wishes for not just a way home, but a way to help. i literally could write theory shit for this cause its not just thoughts for once! niklaus has said that the people's desires can twist from their greed, and maybe ollie didnt realize his greed (or the amount he was asking to be brought real was "greedy" and ollie didnt notice) so it twisted his desire (it being the compass), thus why niklaus doesnt understand what happened with ollie, because accidentally beign greddy can happen, or being greedy in the eyes of another.

i literally dont think ill have the motivation to wrap this up yet so ill do so later