#i was in my uni's art studio for the first time !! i really loved it

[love-in-my-twenties]

I had a long weekend (like, literally, 4 days long) and unfortunately I spent 3 of those days depressed and unproductive but ! On the fourth day, me and my friend went to our uni - me with my studying and he with his art projects - and worked for 6 hours. It was really nice. I haven't done insanely lot, since my attention span is awful due to my worsening depressive episode, but it's still something to be proud of, I think.

[kookslastbutton]

Too Late To Dream ༓ jjk (m) I Ch. VIII (final)

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 8,618

Warnings: 8-year age gap, mentions of professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), first kiss, painting date, taehyung makes oc a busi proposal, jk goes back to teaching at uni, cute note, therapy with therapist!hoseok, talk of absent parents, insecurities, fear of fatherhood, jk working through personal struggles and gets clarity, jk being good hubby to oc, sexual content

sexually explicit warnings: switch!jungkook, switch!reader, f*ngering, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex (be safe everyone!), cussing d*rty talk, penetration, b**b sucking, biting, multiple org*sms, m*ssionary;legs on shoulder, body worshipping, praise kink, impreg kink, slight lactation kink, making out in the kitchen, suggestive morning shower s*x, Kook just wanna please oc really 🥺

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: This is now the most I have ever written....ngl the therapy section will be DENSE( but i tried not to make it TOO long) 😪 anyway, we have come to the end folks 😭 thank you to all of you who have stayed with me through this whole series. It's close to my heart and always will be. I'm happy to be able to share this with you all 💞

<< ch. VII ༓┃series masterlist

Kissing you is his favorite pastime. On the lips, on your cheeks, neck–everywhere and anywhere you'll let him. He loves how squeamish it makes you. Out of all the times Jungkook's kissed you, his favorite will always be the first time in that tiny art studio of yours at your old apartment.

You didn't have much living space but you made do with what you had. And what you had was one extra room near the laundry machines.

He'll always remember how gentle your lips were against his that night. Warm as well, yet reserved. You made his whole body come to life in the most unexplainable ways.

4 years ago–

Jungkook slouches on the stool with a pout on his face and a paintbrush spinning between his fingers. This is the third time he's called you over in the last ten minutes. You've told him repeatedly that painting takes patience but it doesn't seem to make him feel any better about his artwork.

"Can you come look at this __? I don't think this is coming out the way it's supposed to be."

"Here," you set your drawing pencils on your own art desk and circle around to him, "let me see."

Jungkook scootches his stool to the side, allowing you to peer over his shoulder.

"To start, you’re using too much water if your paper is peeling and curling this much. I'd give it a few minutes before doing anything more on it. Secondly, you have water bubbles."

You reach for the blue painting sponge next to him and hold it up as if showcasing it off.

"This is going to be your best friend. It absorbs liquid so if you gently dab areas with excess water, it'll take all that water away." You demonstrate for him then hand the sponge to him. "Give it a try."

"Okay…" He takes it from you and mirrors your movements. "Isn't this called watercolor painting though? How can I be using too much water?"

You shrug. "Because it's like anything. You need to find the right balance between the paint and water or else it'll make your strokes messy. Control the need to soak your brush."

"But I like soaking my brush," he says, tongue in cheek.

"I'm going to ignore that you said that."

"You said it first."

"Not like you meant it, I didn't."

Jungkook smiles and continues dabbing his painting.

"You're pressing a little too hard Kook. The paint's smudging," you warn as he attempts to clean up the extra water spillage.

"Hm?" He doesn't seem to understand what you mean.

"It's like this," you say, carefully closing a hand over his knuckles. Jungkook's hand goes limp in yours as you guide his movements across the water bubbles. "See, the water's gone now."

When you gaze down at him, he's not paying attention to the artwork at all but to you instead.

"Someone I'm hoping to call my girlfriend soon," he mumbles back and you release your hold from his hand.

"Jungkook?" He feels you tense under his stare, eyes restlessly shifting back and forth. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh, well, um—" your mind races with what to respond. Up until now, you’ve been seeing each other for a month but no labels have been placed on your relationship yet.

"I'd really like to know what it'd be like to kiss you too.” He sets the sponge on the table and slowly leans forward to rise from his seat.

Naturally, you step backward but forget about the second art table set up directly behind you. Your hands grip the edges at the sudden contact on your backside.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I don't mean to make you feel pressured." His fingers reach out to lightly rest on your trembling hands. “I’ve just been having the best time getting to know you this past month and I’d like it if we could keep going out…as a couple.”

“I’d like that too.” You swallow thickly. “I think you caught me off guard but yeah, let’s make this official. And also, if you want, we can—kiss."

"Are you sure?" He needs to know he heard right, careful not to jump the gun. “Really sure?”

"Yes. Please kiss me.”

With your consent, Jungkook grips your hands tighter and closes his mouth over your lips. They're sweet and taste a bit like peppermint from the candy you ate earlier. He moves slowly at first, tongue swiping across the seam of your lips every now and then until you let him in.

"Jung–" you breathe a small moan yet it's only when you break apart that you're able to finish saying his name. “–Kook.”

"I liked that," he says, a smile on his face. "Any chance we can do it again?"

You nod and lean forward to kiss him again. This time firmer, holding back nothing.

Present–

"Honey, you should go back to bed for a bit. Get some more sleep." You watch your husband button up his navy blue dress shirt in the mirror. Today's the day he has to return to the university for the new academic year and he needs to be out the door within the next ten minutes.

"I have to get used to you leaving before me," you yawn. "I'll miss you."

Jungkook runs his fingers through his damp hair, fluffing it up some before striding over to your lounged position on the bed.

"Me too. I'm going to be thinking of you all day." He bends down to peck your lips. When he does, you take in the scent of his aftershave–Old Spice. "I'll see you when we get home, okay?"

You nod. "You home at 4 tonight?"

"Plus traffic so 4:30 at the latest.”

"Okay, I should get home at 5:15. Mondays are a bit hectic so it might be later. I'll text you."

He gives you another kiss, longer than the last, and you moan lazily.

"Sounds good," he stands up straight and snatches his phone from the nightstand. "I need to head out now but I'll see you later. Love you!"

Jungkook opens your bedroom door and you shut your eyes to get more sleep before having to start the daily grind yourself.

With about thirty minutes to spare Jungkook rushes to his office with his leather satchel. He doesn't remember the room being as bare as it is when he tosses the door open–only his desk, PhD, and some books left on the shelf. He hasn't been here since the end of June so granted, I'd be pretty dead in the room.

But there's not even one photo of you.

That's going to be the first thing to change, he mentally

notes. Right now, however, he needs to prep for his lecture that’s in—he checks his watch—shit.

Twenty-eight minutes.

Jungkook shoves his satchel on the bulky mahogany desk and swivels into his office chair. "Damn," he curses and re-adjusts in his seat. "Since when was my chair this uncomfortable to sit in?'

He shakes it off and pulls out his notes. A tiny blue sticky note falls out as he sorts the mix.

'Deep breaths today Dr. Jeon ;)! It's your first day again and I know you're always so hard on yourself :( But your new students will love you I'm sure. So keep yourself in good spirits and remember I'm only a phone call away. I love you and I can't wait to hear about your day when you get home tonight! <3'

He reads the message again, then again, and one last time for good measure.

Jungkook sticks the note on the surface of his desk, next to his computer where he can view it easily. He then goes back to reviewing his notes for his lecture, feeling a giggle creep up his throat; he really fricken' loves you.

Well, his first class of the day was a complete disaster. The first twenty minutes consisted of him having to troubleshoot technical errors between his laptop and the projector. His students weren’t chipper either, preferring silence when he tried striking up a conversation. And the worst part? They didn’t laugh at his jokes! Like at all. Usually, he’d at least get one or two chuckles, even if they were merely out of politeness.

It was when he ended the class half an hour early that he earned a few brownie points. Thankfully he’s not a lecture on the first day kind of professor. Still, with any luck, the semester will get better and the remainder of his sections today will be smoother.

"Dr. Jeon," a low voice rumbles down the hallway as Jungkook returns to his office. He whips his head to his left to see Taehyung taking long strides towards him.

"Dr. Kim," Jungkook responds to the greeting. "What are you doing in the School of Business?"

"Just wanted to stop and say hi. I got a studio art class to teach soon but thought I'd check in with my favorite economist first.” Taehyung stuffs his hands in the pockets of his silk trousers and follows Jungkook into his office.

"My wife isn't here Tae," Jungkook teases.

“Isn’t it about time you drop that? Yes, we had a thing back in—"

"It wasn't a thing okay?" Jungkook is eager to correct. Being reminded that his wife and best friend used to hit it off a little too well back in the day makes him queasy. "It was you who kept being obsessed with her. Well, she's mine now. Understand?"

Taehyung laughs. "You need to chill Jungkook. I see the wedding ring loud and clear. Besides, I didn't come here for her alright?" He pauses and wets his lips. "Well actually…there is something I'd like to bring up to you that may involve her."

"Oh, what?" Jungkook's ears are on high alert. What could Taehyung possibly need from you?

"How often is __ painting these days?" Taehyung takes a seat in one of the spare chairs in the room.

"She doesn't have as much time these days due to work, but I know she's got a couple of art projects in the process."

"She's got a pretty big collection though, doesn’t she? Has she ever considered showcasing them off at galleries or selling to collectors?”

“Yeah, I’d say she has roughly eighty finished pieces between drawings and paintings. But she's tried the gallery route before and they've all rejected her work from being showcased. I don't think she wants to pursue it anymore. And as far as selling? Don't think so."

"Hmm." Taehyung taps his fingers on the armrest. "What if it were to be my art gallery? Over the summer I managed to form a minor partnership with that local gallery downtown. Remember, the one I displayed work at years ago when __ was in postgrad? Took a visit down there weeks ago and found out the owner is running low on funds. He's had my art displayed for a while now and I've always wanted to own a gallery. I've no shortage of assets either so I'm taking the plunge to keep it open.”

Jungkook quirks his head to the side with an open mouth and eyes wide as saucers. “You're really part owner of that gallery now? Wow, Tae. I always knew you were a free spirit but damn that's an investment."

"I guess, but hey now that you know. We're looking to expand our collection so how would your cute wife like to show her work? __ is a phenomenal artist and it’s a shame she hasn’t had the opportunity to have it publicly admired. I’d see that her work be approved immediately, of course."

“You're joking,” Jungkook sputters in disbelief. He can't speak for you but he's pretty darn sure you’re going to be absolutely tickled about this.

"I'm being completely serious. Talk to __ about it and see what she thinks." Taehyung checks the time on his phone and stands up from his chair. "Hate to cut this short but I got that class in ten. Let me know what she decides though."

"Yeah, I'll ask her. I—thank you Taehyung. I'm not sure what else to say."

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m happy to do this for her. For you both actually.” Taehyung leaves with a tight-lipped smile, a pep in his step.

Bzzz. Bzzz.

Hobi: Hey, sorry for the late reply. Had a couple of last-minute patients to see. I’m happy to hear from you though! If you want to come in for a session I have a slot free late Thursday evening. Other than that we may need to do it next week since I have a pretty full schedule this week.

Oh, that’s right. Jungkook reads over the text. He messaged Hoseok about possibly coming in for a therapy session last night. After telling you about both his apprehension and interest in starting a family, he thinks it is best to get some professional input. And what better person to ask than one of his long-time friends?

JK: I’d really like to meet before I get loaded with papers and tests to grade, if possible. How late on Thursday? I get out of work at 4.

Hobi: I understand. Can you come right after work? Sessions last around forty minutes to an hour.

JK: Sure, I don’t think I have anything to do after that. __ will still be at work. She knows I’m seeing you too, so it’s fine. I’ll see you at 4:15-ish. Your practice isn’t far from here last I remember.

Hobi: Yup, short drive. I’ll put you on the calendar for Thursday afternoon. I’m glad you reached out, Jungkook. I’ve been thinking about you and __ lately. Heard you babysat Yoongi’s twins.

JK: We did.

Hobi: And how was that?

JK: Not bad. I’ll tell you tomorrow though. I’m prepping for another class right now.

Hobi: Got it, I’ll let you go. I’ll see you on Thursday.

JK: Thanks, man!

Jungkook sends a thumbs-up emoji and sets the phone flat on his desk. Well, he sighs, looks like you got yourself an appointment with a shrink.

He doesn’t know what to expect. But what he does know is that he needs to go in with an open mindset. Previous conversations with Hoseok have led him to conclude that it matters what you put into it.

“Therapy isn’t an answer to all your problems,” he recalls Hoseok explain years ago. “Its purpose is to create a space for you to process struggles in your life; triggers even. The goal is for you to better understand the root of those triggers and to find new tools that help you navigate through them. Whenever you are posed with said challenge, you can be better equipped to confront them so you can come out stronger on the other side.”

Jungkook takes a swig of water from his water bottle. He thinks of you as he does–he’s doing this for both of you in hopes that something beautiful might come from it.

At 3:15 Jungkook has his last class. His afternoon students ended up being far more engaging than his morning students. They talked to him casually, asked good questions, and gosh darn it they laughed at his jokes too. They were a great bunch of kids, Jungkook hums. He’s looking forward to walking alongside them this semester.

Before calling it a day and leaving the university, Jungkook decides a brief stroll around campus would be nice. One, it gets fresh air in his lungs and two, he’d really like to stretch his legs before sitting back down in his car.

As he walks through the middle of campus, he smiles at the groups of students rushing with their book bags. It’s a good mix between undergrads and grads. Seeing all of them rush around takes him back to his days of late-night studying at the library and partying with friends on the weekends. He tried not to party too rough but well, he might have been a little too eager to finally be on his own the first year.

He dated around a little too. The chicks at his undergrad were cute and he went out with a few of them. His longest relationship lasted a year but she broke it off with him the last year–she married an architect a year and a half later. No matter though, Sana was a sweet girl and nothing drastic ever happened between them. Hearing that she was getting married made him more happy than sad because she deserved to be with someone great. Plus, if he stayed with her, he would never have met you.

Jungkook stops in his tracks when he spots two students from his 12:15 class standing behind a small outdoor table. They appear to be selling something he can’t quite make out due to the distance.

“Dr. Jeon!” The girl waves when she catches her professor looking in their direction.

Jungkook walks up to the table with a smile. “Mi-suk, Doyun,” he greets each individually. It’s at this point that he’s able to see a dozen frames of sea glass art spread across the table. “Did you guys make these?”

The pair nod in unison. “We went to the beach this summer and found a lot of glass so we decided to do something with it.” Doyun, Mi-suk’s boyfriend, holds up one of the framed pieces that are decorated with green and blue sea glass. “This one is about lovebirds. See the heart that connects them?”

The birds that he refers to are easily seen from the sea glass’s sharp edges and carefully selected clustering. The heart is also made out of sea glass and lays between both birds. It’s a simplistic yet meaningful design.

“We wanted the heart to be interpreted in all kinds of ways from love to new beginnings like–“

“A child.” Jungkook takes the words out of Mi-suk, in a low whisper. “How much?” He digs out his wallet from his back pocket.

“33000 won. ($25 USD).” Doyun responds. “Do you have a child on the way?” Mi-suk jabs her boyfriend in the side at this.

“You don’t have to tell us Dr. Jeon. We don’t want to be nosy.” She laughs it out but Jungkook shakes his head at her.

“It’s no big deal. I’m married but we don’t have a kid at the moment. My wife loves art and she loves sea glass so, I’d like to hang one of these in our home.” He hands over the cash and takes the artwork from Doyun.

“Thank you, Dr. Jeon,” Doyun remains polite and puts the money in the cash box.

“Do you have a picture of her?” Mi-suk asks to which her boyfriend says “Now who’s being nosy?”, earning him another jab to his side.

Jungkook pulls out a small, lightly crinkled photo of you from his wallet. “This is her.” He shows it to them with a proud expression–he enjoys showing you off every chance he gets.

“She’s so beautiful Dr. Jeon! You both look so good together wow.”

“She makes us look good together.” Jungkook chuckles and slides the photo back into his wallet.

“Aww, why don’t you ever say things like that?” Mi-suk turns to her boyfriend who only shrugs.

“Why do I have to be the one to say it? Why can’t you say it?” Doyun moves to fold his arms but Jungkook gives a grimace, hinting him not to follow through. “Sorry babe, I’ll do it more often.”

Young love, Jungkook thinks. “I have to get going now, making dinner before she gets home. But thanks for the sea glass art. I’ll see you both in class on Wednesday.” He waves goodbye and heads for his car.

“He makes dinner for her too…” Mi-suk watches as her professor leaves. “You’ve never made dinner for me.” She shifts her eyes to her boyfriend who’s too busy counting the money they’ve earned so far to see her distraught face.

“Where did you get that?” You point at the new art piece hanging from the wall with your chopsticks. “It’s lovely. Are those birds?”

“Yeah, they’re love birds. A couple of my students were selling seaglass art in the middle of campus. I thought one would look nice on our wall and you like this type of art right?” Your husband takes a bite of the roasted chicken he’s made.

“I do,” you say. “Thank you for bringing one home. How was your first day back at the university?”

“Fine, my morning class is struggling but I’m hoping the energy will pick up as the semester progresses. The afternoon class is good, they seem like a fun bunch. Looking forward to the year. What about you? How was work?”

“Oh, nothing much to tell. I had a meeting with one of our business partners. Went over a series of analytical reports with him, and made suggestions on what they could do to make better-informed business decisions.”

“Yeah? Did they sound like they’d take them?” You giggle when some of the sauce from the chicken smears the corner of his mouth. “What?” he looks at you for an answer.

“Wipe your mouth. There’s sauce all over it.” You hand him a napkin and he cleans himself off. “But back to your question, they seemed receptive to my advice. We’ll see what happens in the next three months though, time will tell if they listened or not.”

“Well,” he swallows down his bite before continuing. “If they have any sense they’ll follow your suggestions. Still, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”

You nod in agreement. “So, did anything else happen for you today? I really don’t have much else to share other than that. It was a fairly normal day.”

Jungkook sets his chopsticks on his plate and takes a drink of his beer. “There’s a few things I need to talk to you about. Oh, also,” he interrupts his own line of thought, “the note you left me was sweet. I have it on my desk by my computer.”

“I thought maybe you could use some encouragement on your first day so you’re welcome. What do you need to talk to me about?”

“First on the agenda is Taehyung. He stopped by my office and told me that he’s got a partnership with that gallery downtown. The one he displayed his work at years ago when you were in postgrad. Turns out the owner needs financial support so he’s decided to help them out as a part-owner.”

Jungkook sees that you’re just as surprised as he was when he first heard the news. “So he owns that gallery now? That man gets around well. You know that’s something about Taehyung, he’s a good networker. Never have to worry about if he knows someone or not.”

“It’s one of his strengths for sure. Taehyung’s asked me to ask you if you’d be interested in showcasing some of your artwork. He says they’re looking for more artists for their gallery and that he’d like to have your work displayed. What do you think?”

“I–what?” Getting to showcase your art has been one of your biggest dreams since a teenager. But after countless failed attempts to take your art beyond the studio, you’ve nearly given up hope that any galley would accept your pieces. “Are you shitting me Jungkook?”

“I know it’s shocking. Taehyung literally just dropped the bomb on me today and this is 100% real. If you want to get your art out there, Taehyung can pull the right strings to make that happen. Now that I think of it, he didn’t tell me when to get back to him. Probably will need to text him whenever you make your decision I guess.”

“I think I’d love to be able to do that. I don’t even know which ones to show though, I have so many to choose from.”

“I’m sure if you take a week to think it over you’ll be able to narrow down your options. And besides, this doesn’t have tp be the only set of paintings you show off. You can always switch them out from time to time. Taehyung will see that it happens.”

“Damn,” you say. “Kim Taehyung really has the whole world in the palm of his hand huh?” That man has more power in his little toe than all the world’s leaders combined.

“Taehyung is…one of a kind.” Jungkook leans his body forward, arms crossed on the dining table. “There’s a second topic I’d like to talk about too if it’s alright?”

“Shoot.”

“I have a therapy session with Hoseok on Thursday after work. I should be able to get back before 5 p.m. but we might want to order out for dinner that night.” There’s a trace of nervousness as he tells you so you reach out to sneak a hand into one of his.

“That’s fine, I can pick something up on my way home from work. I’m glad he was able to get you in this week.”

Jungkook flickers his eyes down at your hand in his, then back up to your face.“It probably goes without saying but I’m not sure what’ll come from this session. And even if it does go well, I can’t promise that we can start a baby right away. I mean maybe we can, I’m not saying we can’t but–”

“It’s okay Kookie,” you say gently. “This isn’t only about us having a baby or not you know? You’ve had a lot of challenges with your parents that I think Hoseok can help you talk through. I want you to be able to have clarity in those areas of your life too.”

“Thank you __. I love you so much.” He brings your hand to his lips and kisses it.

“I’m glad you wiped your mouth off before you did that,” you tease, playfully. Jungkook immediately lets go of your hand and gets up to walk to your side of the table.

“Come here smart ass,” he orders, grabbing your face to pepper several kisses on your cheeks.

Draining.

That’s the one word that comes to Jungkook’s mind if he were to sum up the rest of the week. He enjoys teaching at the university but four days in he’s already feeling the stress kinks in his neck.

“Mm.” Jungkook rolls his shoulders back to stretch the tense muscles–it’s a good thing he’s seeing Hoseok today. After getting a good stretch out, he puts his car key in the ignition and heads for the practice downtown.

"Come in, come in," Hoseok greets Jungkook with a beaming smile once he arrives at his office no short of ten minutes later. His room is on the smaller side but it has a harmonious energy with the way the sun peaks through the blinds. "How's your week been?"

Jungkook takes a seat in the large, cozy chair angled across Hoseok. He leans against the back lazily and lets out a long sigh. "It's alright, tiring, but it's to be expected. You?"

"Roughly the same.” Hoseok shuts the door and takes a seat in the chair diagonal to Jungkook. “I’ve had more patients this week than usual which has made me short on time lately. But I'm happy to make time for them."

"Thank you for seeing me this week. I was surprised when you said you could given how full your schedule gets.”

Hoseok waves his hand in dismissal. “Oh, of course, it’s no problem,” he reassures. “I had an opening so that’s why I offered. You and __ are also good friends of mind; I’m more than willing to meet with you today Jungkook. So…why don’t we get started? How was taking care of Yoongi’s rambunctious twins? You’ve taken care of them before right?”

At this, Jungkook sits straight up in his seat, his shoulders back and eyes directly trained on Hoseok. He appears stiff like the tin man from The Wizard of Oz. “Feel free to sit back,” Hoseok lightly suggests. “This isn’t a test or anything so you can relax and get comfortable if you’d like.”

“Okay.” Jungkook follows his friend’s suggestion and sinks into the back of the chair. His hands relax on his spread-out thighs. “So yeah, we’ve taken care of Yoongi’s girl before. Ari and Eun-ji have no shortage of attitude that’s for sure.” He chuckles, then continues. “They’re sweet though. I had this warm, positive energy throughout that whole night. Usually, I never have a strong feeling towards being around kids. It’s always been ‘ah they’re cute but not for me’ or ‘yes hyung, I’ll be fine to take them for a day’ but it wouldn’t go any further. I told __ about it and I think she’s holding onto hope that it means I’m changing my mind about kids.”

“And are you changing your mind? Sometimes those strong emotions will come at specific moments and they can give a false narrative. You and __ have been thinking about a baby recently which may influence these new feelings. But we have to be careful that they don’t blur what you actually want.” Hoseok pauses a second to let Jungkook maul over his words.

“It’s like this,” he continues. “You want to have a baby with her because you love her but last time we met, you said you weren’t sure if you could want it naturally for yourself. Now that you know what the other wants, and you’ve had a picture of what having kids may look like with the twins, you are more welcoming of the idea of starting a family. ‘Maybe it won’t be so bad’, your mind will tell you–‘Maybe this can really happen and I’ll be okay with it’. Meanwhile, your subconscious will say the complete opposite–that you’re pressuring yourself to feel a certain way to get that ideal outcome of giving your wife a baby. Which in turn, makes her happy and gives you security in your marriage and in yourself. I’m not saying this is exactly what’s going on but it’s a possibility to consider. Does this make sense?”

“I get what you’re saying.” Jungkook gives a brief nod. “I’m trying to be careful not to go by my feelings alone or say yes to a child out of pure tolerance of it or a willingness to please my wife. I’ve had some minor hiccups with saying we can have a baby at random times to __ . It’s caused her confusion so I’m more careful to not do stuff like that so casually. But I really am thinking about potentially starting a family so I think my mind really is changing. It’s like I’m 60% there but 40% not there.”

“60% there and 40% not there,” Hoseok repeats. “Could you break those down for me? How did you come to those percentages?”

“Well, I’m 60% because after giving it a lot of thought, I don’t dislike kids so I’m open to having them, any children I’ve been around recently have oddly uplifted my spirits, and I love my wife so if there’s anyone I could have a family with, it’d be with her. I’m 40% not there because I’m afraid I’ll revert back to my previous mindset if said child were to come. I don’t know if I can trust myself.”

“There seems to be a small pattern forming–you being uplifted around children,” Hoseok replies. “Patterns of behavior can be a measurement of progress or lack thereof. If you’ve been repeatedly uplifted around kids that’s something to think about as you sort through the matter of starting a family with __. You can trust yourself more in the conclusions you come to when there is repeated behavior and action to support them. Now as far as you being afraid you’ll revert back to your old self, why did that old Jungkook not want children? Was it a lack of interest in itself or were there external influences?”

“Uh, I guess I wanted to live a life focused on my career. My parents have done the same, but I wanted to do it separately from them. Growing up was always about meeting goals, whether they were academically or socially based. My parents were pretty absent from my life outside those frames. I couldn’t know them up close, like a healthy parent-child relationship. So when I grew up the thought of having children disinterested me. I’m happy for people who have kids but I didn’t see myself in a parenting role myself. I wasn’t fit for it either, so why have a child that I can’t properly take care of? I’d do better focusing on my career and maybe having a partner when the time came. That was my mindset.”

“It starts as disinterest and shifts to inadequacy,” Hoseok thinks a moment as he processes the explanation. The wheels turn in his head as he sorts through the information disclosed to him. “Jungkook,” he slowly starts. “Do you see yourself as naturally insecure? It seems like this different life you are describing works well for you and you’re comfortable with it, partly due to how you were raised. So the thought of something new coming into your life, like a baby, risks flipping your life upside down. You’re in turn, left vulnerable and scrabbling for what the proper course of action is. This leads to my next question–do you have a fear of becoming like your parents?”

“I suppose I do, but I never put that much weight into it before because I always thought I’d do better than them. And for the most part, I have. When it comes to raising a child though, the potential of following their lead still frightens me.”

“Given the environment you grew up in, that's completely understandable. Unfortunately, your parents didn’t raise you as a child but more of an employee or predecessor that only adds to their self-value. If it’s any encouragement, you being aware that they raised you poorly and successfully becoming a person that doesn’t embody their harmful traits means you will likely not end up like them. So you can be at ease, Jungkook. You’ll raise your children with a healthy mindset–separate from your parents.”

“Just to clarify, hyun–Dr. Jung, you’re saying that I've been against having a child because I’m worried I’ll lose my comfortable lifestyle; my security in other words. And because I’m scared to become my parents which shouldn’t be a fear because I know what they did was wrong?” Jungkook struggles to wrap his mind around the logic.

“It’s alright that you still have that apprehension Jungkook, the fear of following in your parent’s footsteps. I’m suggesting that it won’t happen because you’ve become a person who actively repulses those poor choices that they’ve made. So if you were to have a child, the chances of them being raised as you were is significantly low. Also, you wouldn’t be raising the child alone. __ will be there with you every step of the way and all of us who have been your friends for ages will be more than willing to help you too. Yoongi and Seokjin been fathers for years so they’ll be the first ones to offer a proper hand.”

“So wait, does this mean I’m ready to be a parent then? Because I see your point and it’s starting to make sense. I think I am leaning towards being one but I'm unsure if I can have a child right away. __ won’t say it but I think she’ll want to get pregnant fairly soon if I agree to having a baby. I don’t want to disappoint her.”

“It’s still up to you to decide if you’re ready or not, Jungkook.” Hosoek clears his throat, leaning forward in his chair. “Here’s what I’m saying. Your aversion to having kids doesn’t seem like a mere disinterest in kids. It’s more of an insecurity in yourself that you can work through with some help. Plus, part of you wants a child because you’ve had positive experiences with them recently. I believe, with all the factors we've discussed, you will be able to better understand the source of your hesitation and openness toward starting a family. This will help you make a clearer decision on the matter instead of holding yourself back from one based on previous misconceptions–”

“So that’s it then,” Jungkook interrupts as if enlightened. “I actually do want a baby, generally speaking. I’ve just been looking at the whole issue the wrong way, holding myself back and such.”

“Uh okay, slow down there,” Hoseok eases. “You don’t have to make the decision to have a baby right away. I’m glad you’re beginning to understand your situation more but for now, let’s talk more about this subject okay?”

Jungkook nods in agreement and continues his session with Hoseok for another half hour. He feels good by the end, so good that he schedules another meeting with him next week.

And yeah, he thinks he really does want that baby. When he gets home he’s going to wrap you in his arms and tell you all about it.

Jungkook finds you on the living room couch when he gets home. Your legs are tucked underneath you as you scroll on your phone. You're out of your work clothes and have a plain t-shirt and shorts on instead.

"Hey," you greet your husband. "How was it?"

Your husband rushes to sit beside you, the cushion bouncing due to his eagerness. He proceeds to tell you everything that Hoseok said, from his inner struggles with his parents to his own insecurities with fatherhood. By the end of his spiel, you're delighted that your husband's gotten helpful insight but are in utter shock as well.

"I–wow I'm blown away at how good seeing Hosoek was for you. I knew he'd help you a ton being who he is but I wasn't expecting you to be this enthusiastic to talk about babies." You let out a nervous laugh. "Sorry, nothing's funny. I need a minute to process everything, that's all."

You head to the kitchen for a glass of water. Jungkook follows behind you.

"You know...we met at a time that a child wasn't really in the cards, but now we're at a place that I think it could work," he says. "Hoseok helped me understand my hesitation and openness towards starting a family. And by the end, the thought of having a baby excited me more than scared me because we'll be doing it together."

"Are you–Junkook, are you really serious about all this?" You lean against the kitchen counter with a glass in your hand. "This a big step for us and I don't want you to have to make a quick decision. I know it was me who brought up having a family first, so it's no problem if we need to take more time to–"

"I want to do this with you __." Jungkook walks over to you and takes the cup from your hand to set it on the countertop. He then folds his hands over yours. "Nothing would make me happier than having a baby together. You still want to, don't you?"

"I do," you swallow hard and stare into his loving eyes. A small smile creeps on your face when the reality of the situation hits you–you're actually going through with this; you're going to start a family.

"So..." Jungkook drawls, inching his body closer to you.

"So, what?"

"So don't take your birth control tomorrow if you don't want to." He drops your hands at that in favor of cupping your cheeks instead, bringing you into a passionate kiss. You moan when the kiss deepens and you feel his muscular body press you further against the counter.

"Not in the kitchen," you mumble between kisses.

"Could be fun though," Jungkook smirks and brings his hands around your waist, lifting you up on the surface. Experience tells you to wrap your arms and legs around him so you do. And when he goes back for another kiss, he makes sure to bite on your bottom lip so he can slip his tongue in your mouth.

"Mhph–" you moan when his hands slip underneath your shirt, dragging it up until you lift your arms for him to take it off. He moves to your neck next, placing several open-mouth kisses on the delicate skin that is sure to turn into bluish-purple hickeys in the morning. "Jungkook," you tug his hair roughly.

Your husband grunts at the gesture and traces his fingers along your bare skin until they find the delicate band of your bra. He unclasps the material in seconds, leaving your nipples pebbling from the cool air.

"Is it too soon for me to say I can't wait until these are lactating?" He cups the swell of your breasts and circles his thumbs over your hardened buds. You mewl at the touch, arousal already collecting between your thighs.

"They'll be for the baby," you reply. "Not you."

Jungkook growls immediately and brings his mouth over a breast. The relentless sucking and licking makes you throw your head back in pleasure. He moves to your other breast after his teeth tug at your nipple a few times, repeating the process all over again. "Fuck–" you yelp when one of his tugs gets a little too harsh.

"Shit, I'm sorry baby." He draws his teeth back and starts licking the bud soothingly. "Feel better?"

"Mm," you whine. "Need more, please."

Jungkook knows exactly what you're asking for so he gives your nipples one last lick each, then pecks your lips. His sturdy arms lift you off the counter next and carries you into the bedroom where he lays you on the bed.

"Just a second," he says. You nod and watch him yank his shirt over his head, revealing his toned body. It's always sexy to see him taking his clothes off like this, you think to yourself. He removes his pants; leaving his briefs on, then climbs on the bed with you. "You're so effortlessly beautiful you know that? I'm gonna make you feel good tonight baby," he promises and plants gentle kisses down your abdomen.

You raise your butt a little when he starts peeling your shorts and underwear off. "Fuck, I didn't know you could get this wet," he comments, spreading your thighs apart so he can comfortably sit between them. A single finger drags up your slit, a moment after and you buck your hips at the suddenness. "How many fingers do you want? Or do you want to skip to my tongue eating you out? I'll do whatever you tell me, baby."

You moan hearing the last part. Jungkook is always quick to please. "Both, please. Your fingers and mouth," you say, gripping the sheets in preparation.

At your word, Jungkook slowly pushes a finger into your wet pussy. The initial squelch gives both of you pleasure; a shiver runs down your spine and Jungkook's underwear tightens.

"Oh god," you moan when a second finger slides next to the first one, both curling inside you just right. "One more, need one more." Jungkook pumps his fingers into you two more times, then adds a third.

"Like it?" he asks, fingers moving faster in you. "Feeling good?"

"Yes, fuck–keep going Kook."

Jungkook continues pumping his finger inside you, carefully watching you bite your lip as he does. He loves seeing you like this–getting so fucked out over his fingers. "Shit–" he grunts and leans his head between your thighs when he sees some of your pearly white liquid drip down your thighs and onto the bed sheets.

"Fuckfuckfuck," you repeat, nearly breathless as your husband starts licking a long stripe across your sex. He removes his fingers before doing it again, allowing him to dip the tip of his tongue into your folds ever so slightly. "I think I'm about to come," you warn and claw at his luscious hair with one hand.

Jungkook takes this as the perfect time to start sucking your clit, biting it teasingly until you finally have your first orgasm of the night. When he lifts his head from your pussy, his mouth and chin are both glistening with your cum. "I love eating you out," he says, using his arm to wipe his mouth and chin, "You always taste like fucking candy. And you have no idea how turns on it makes me to see you enjoying it just as much."

"I'm pretty sure I can take a good guess," you reply, eyeing his obvious erection. "Want me to suck you off?" You move to slide the band of his briefs down but he stops the movement.

"Not tonight baby," he says. "I really just want to fuck you now."

"You sure?" you ask again but he only gets off the bed and removes his underwear. His hard cock smacks against his abdomen when he does, making your pussy clench around nothing.

"Missionary?" Jungkook crawls back on the bed and guides you on your back before throwing your legs over his shoulder. "Heard this angle is good for making babies." He winks and you laugh at his sudden playfulness.

"Kook, you know it'll be a few months before I'll be able to get pregnant right? Since I've been on birth control for years?"

"Well, I guess we're getting a head start then." Jungkook wiggles his eyebrows at you flirtatiously then slowly sinks the tips of his length into your pussy until bottoming out.

"Oh fuck," you both moan in unison at the familiar stretch. You and Jungkook have had a lot of sex over the years but not like this; this is a whole new experience.

"You're gonna make such a pretty mama," he coos, slowly thrusting his cock in and out of you. You feel the pressure in your core start to build at the simple comment. "You want me to make you round with our child don't you?"

"Yes–please, I want it so bad."

"My poor baby." Jungkook quickens his pace, pulling his cock out before slamming back in. Every thrust is rougher than the last, leaving you in a moaning mess as your body bounces up and down on the mattresses. "Gonna give you as many as you want now okay? Gonna fill this pussy up so good."

"Kook!" You scream and clench uncontrollably around him as he continues fucking you at what you can only call an animalistic pace. His hair is messy, body sweating, and his teeth are clamped together in sheer pleasure.

"Fuck!" He lets out another loud groan, his tatted hand clinging onto your legs while the other presses down on your stomach. "Look at you taking me so well," he praises. "Always so good for me or do you really want a baby that bad hm? Talk to me baby, tell me how it feels having your guts rearranged."

"It–" you can barely speak as his cock beats into you messily, his balls slapping against your asscheeks as he does. "It feels so good, shit! Don't stop!" You claw the sheets, desperate to cling onto something.

"Yeah? You want me to keep fucking you like this?" He pushes down on your stomach a little more. The added pressure makes it so you can feel his cock even more.

"Oh god, oh god fuck–" your eyes roll to the back of your head as your pussy starts spasming from all the thrusting. "So close, I'm so close Jungkook..."

"I can tell baby," he grunts. "You're squeezing me so tight but you're also so fucking wet. Come whenever you're ready okay? I'm going get us both there."

The next thirty seconds to a minute consists of Jungkook snapping his hips and several of your broken moans echoing off the walls of your bedroom. Finally, after a series of long, hard thrusts, you both reach your peak and have your release.

"I love you so much," Jungkook lets go of your legs and moves to straddle you. His elbows come up on either side of your head as he leans in for a kiss.

"I love you too," you mumble and card your fingers through his hair. "You're going to make a wonderful father Kook."

"Only because of you," he whispers before capturing your lips in simultaneously the most fiery and sweet kiss you've ever shared.

"What time is it?" You lazily throw an arm around your husband but to your dissatisfaction, it slips off him and hits the mattress instead. He's getting up for work–crap.

"It's 5:30 a.m," Jungkook replies and stands up from the bed, back muscles flexing as he does. He's still naked from last night and so are you now that you think about it. "I need to hop in the shower for work."

You reach forward to catch his wrist before he can move any further. "Let me join you."

Jungkook smiles. You're so beautiful with the way the soft sheets wrap around your bare skin. And your grip on his wrist makes him wish he could crawl back in bed with you.

"As wonderful as that sounds, we both know what'll happen if you jump in the shower with me. And we don't have enough time for that today. Sleep instead, okay?" He gives you a quick kiss and heads for the bathroom.

"Kook–" You kick the covers off your body and follow him.

"What are you doing?" he turns his head in your direction when he feels a cool breeze coming from the door.

"I need to shower too," you say and step behind him in the tub.

"Alright," he narrows his eyes at you. "I'll allow it but behave." When he turns on the hot water you grab your bodywash from the shelf.

"Mhm," you hum. "I definitely will."

You definitely did not. Which is why your husband is about to be late to his lecture with potential hickeys on his neck. You tried to be careful not to put them anywhere visible though—the kids don't need to see that.

"I gotta leave honey," he kisses you by the front door, keys jingling in his hand. "Bye," another kiss. "Yup bye…okay I love you but if I can't get fired by not showing up to class."

You give him one last smooch before reluctantly letting him go. "Oh wait, your collar." You smooth the fabric down for him when you see the crinkles. Jungkook likes it when you groom him like this, it's cute.

"Thanks," he says. "Love you!"

Once he's out of sight you shut the door behind him and walk back to your bedroom.

oh god.

You immediately stand still when you feel a sudden throbbing in your head. You place a hand over your stomach and close your eyes in hopes it'll pass.

"I think I need some water," you say. "I'm so nauseous. This has to be a dizzy spell. No way I'm pregnant after one night of being off my birth control." You dismiss the idea at the mere thought. "It's too soon."

Despite your protests, you decide to pick up a pregnancy test on your way home from work—just to be sure.

"Negative," you read the results of the test later that night. Outside the bathroom, you hear your husband rustling about in the bedroom. "Well, we'll just keep trying."

You smile, anticipating the start of your new life with Jungkook.

A/N: What do you think of the ending? I know oc is negative for pregnancy but she just got off bc so it'll take a few months. Still, they will keep trying ;) stayed tuned for an epilogue and hit me up with drabble ideas, as I will be writing more myself haha. Love You!! 😘

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[pocketjoong]

this is actually so hard for me because do i want san or do i want woo but guess what i will go with the wooyo 🥰🥰

sOOOO i really need some floof with wooyoung, maybe some college bf woo cause he sounds very slay 🔥 take your time with it my dear and good luck 🥰

Thank you so much for requesting Chip! I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it! (P.S. Requests are open until 11:59 p.m. PST today!) @nebulousbrainsoup I'M SORRY I FORGOT TO TAG YOU FOR BETA-ING THIS. THANK YOU. ILY.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (SYNOPSIS): Fluffy college!bf wooyo headcanons!

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (PAIRING) non-idol!Wooyoung x gn!Reader

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WARNINGS) Lots of FLUFF. Mentions of eating. Mentions of uni being stressful. lmk if I am missing something.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WORD COUNT) 775

☆ You and Wooyoung first met during your freshman year at college. No one would’ve expected your path to cross, especially considering that you were a STEM major while Wooyoung was a dance major. But, on the first day of a general education class, you found yourselves seated next to each other, and a casual conversation soon turned into animated discussions about the creative aspects of your respective fields.

☆ Wooyoung’s infectious laughter and humor quickly won you over, and you couldn’t help but admire his passionate approach to dance and art. Likewise, he was captivated by your intelligence and curiosity, and the way you treated everyone with kindness.

☆ As the semester progressed, you and Wooyoung became study partners, helping each other with your assignments and offering different perspectives on the course material. And even after the semester finished, the two of you remained friends, hanging out with each other whenever you had the time to.

☆ One evening, as you were working on a particularly challenging project for your class, Wooyoung decided to surprise you with a homemade dinner. He knew how stressed you were and wanted to lighten the mood. The dinner in your dorm room marked the beginning of your relationship.

☆ One thing that has remained consistent throughout your relationship is Wooyoung waking up a little earlier than you, tiptoeing into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for both of you, often playing soft music in the background. It’s usually something simple but made with love, like a heart-shaped pancake with a dollop of your favorite jam, or a sweet note by your coffee, expressing his love and wishing you a great day.

☆ Wooyoung also loves to randomly drag you into impromptu dance sessions, even if it's in the middle of your living room or the kitchen. Even if you don’t know how to dance, he patiently teaches you basic dance moves, guiding your steps until you get the hang of the moves. Sometimes, he dances goofily and encourages you to do the same, both of you dancing to the music while your laughter fills the room.

☆ He knows when you’re stressed about your classes, and motivates you to keep pushing forward. He sometimes leaves little encouraging notes in your textbooks or sends you sweet texts during the day.

☆ On tough days, he knows exactly when you need cuddles and comforting words. He wraps you in his arms, holding you close as he reassures you that everything will be okay. He tells you how proud he is of your hard work and dedication, and how much he loves you.

☆ You love attending his dance showcases and performances, and you often invite your friends to join. You sit in the front row, cheering the loudest, and your eyes are glued to him as he moves gracefully across the stage. He never fails to spot you in the crowd, and it fills him with happiness and energy.

☆ Occasionally, you find yourselves studying together. Though your fields of study are vastly different, you both enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes, you end up in the studio where Wooyoung practices dance routines and settle down in the corner, reviewing your notes or working on assignments while he practices nearby. You’re always there to help each other through the challenging parts, and it makes the study sessions much more enjoyable.

☆ Dating Wooyoung also means spontaneous date nights. They can be as simple as a midnight stroll through campus, a movie night at either of your dorms with all your favorite films and snacks, or a surprise outing to a new restaurant you’ve both been wanting to try.

☆ On the days leading up to Halloween, you spend weekends watching your favorite spooky movies in your matching Halloween-themed pajamas. A few days before Halloween, instead of watching movies, you visit a local pumpkin patch and pick out the perfect pumpkins to carve out. And on D-day, you usually go to the local haunted house or Halloween attractions.

☆ For Chritsmas, you decorate your dorm before leaving for the holidays. You both spend a day adorning the space with twinkling lights, ornaments, and a mini Christmas tree. And you make it a point to visit each other’s families for Christmas, exchanging gifts and spending time with loved ones.

☆ Wooyoung doesn't wait for special occasions to express his love. He often leaves small notes hidden around your home with sweet messages, surprises you with your favorite flowers, or simply tells you how much he loves you when you least expect it. His love is a constant presence in your life, and it warms your heart that you found such a precious person to share your life with.

[mrghostrat]

i appreciate all the kindness for my uni rejection, and anyone going through the same thing should def read through my replies if they need similar comfort. there’s a lot of “ATAR isn’t everything!” comments tho, which made me realise i haven’t actually talked much about my goals, so i wanted to share a little context.

i’m 30 (on the 17th). i took a gap year after high school and i went to uni at 19. i even dropped out a semester before graduating to pursue the one thing that was making me happy (my first original comic) during a really bad depression (undiagnosed adhd burnout). i got the last units and graduated a year later, a bachelor of game design.

haven’t used my degree once. i went into comics and freelance rather than games. but i also loved that degree and would do it all again, it was absolutely worth it.

i’ve been freelance and self sufficient for 6-7 years, and it’s fun and i’m proud of the things i’ve made, but i’m so tired. i’m specifically tired of having to work 7 different angles to make up one sufficient salary, and even if it ends up being temporary, i’d give anything for a 9-5. have someone else in charge for once.

got to the end of my rope last year and sat down to figure out what i like and what i’m good at. a Life Plan, yknow. i’ve always had an interest in teaching, helping, connecting like that. figured out degrees and became really invested in this new trajectory i pictured my life going on. i was also tired of waiting, because every time i wanted to move back to the city from this tiny town we’re in, somethings come up or delayed it. so zita helped me figure out how we could get the ball rolling and break our lease 3 months early, so we could move back to melbourne and i could start my degree this year. we looked for (and found) an apartment specifically on the side of the city that would be closest to my campus.

i hope that gives a lil context as to why i’m so devastated right now. the last 5 months have been me revving up to start this new chapter at the end of feb and one little email said nah.

the degree i wanted to do was a double degree, secondary education (hons) and a BA of fine arts. i was equally excited for both, because i never got to do a lot of actual art learning in my last degree, and the BA would give me all of that— life drawing, sculpting, painting, wood/metal/jewellery working, digital, fuckin everything. but it was the less important of the pair, when it comes to getting myself a job as an art teacher, because i already have the art experience. it was just a fun bonus, and the education degree was the one i NEEDED.

in nov i had to travel to melbourne to present a portfolio and interview for the BA. they showed me around the studio too, and i fell a little bit in love. i got the acceptance email in december, but i still didn’t have an offer for the education degree. another reason why i’m so discombobulated— i technically have an invitation, but it’s for the less important degree that would just be a money sink. do i go to uni anyway?? or just ignore this invitation and move on?

my state recently made education/teaching degrees free as a way of encouraging more teacher jobs. i learnt about this after i decided i wanted to pursue teaching, so it was just a fun lil bonus that i wouldn’t be adding to my student debt. apparently not, bc i didn’t think about how every teenager and their dog would apply for teaching degrees so they could get straight into uni without any debt. so, even tho i’m a graduate and i’m not relying on school scores, i was one in a million, likely just numbers on a page, and didn’t get in.

there could be other paths. i could start the BA and add the Edu degree later? i could reapply for mid year intake. i could… idk, most of what i could do requires emailing Monash and asking wtf, because i have no idea what’s actually possible and will need someone to lay it out for me.

still feels like i’ve run into a brick wall though. little bit shut down. more sad, not quite angry, but suddenly really spiteful for some reason— like “oh, you don’t want me? okay fuck you then, i won’t ever teach.” so stupid. just a bit fragile rn

[jumpscaregoose]

that's a wrap on art posts for 2024!

like what you see? all the art I posted this year is visible on my art tag!

wanted to try something different after last year's formatting disaster, so this is less of a summary and more of an everything-I-made-and-liked collage. as in that's what it is that's what you're looking at

this was a big year for me (I started university and lived away from my parents for the first time, yayyy) and I think you can see that in how my art style evolved in the past 12 months. I'm really happy with where it is now!

last year I picked one piece from each month to talk about, so I'll be doing that again for this year below the cut

january

this is the still version of an after effects animation I did for a design class in my last year of high school. I initially wanted to post this as a gif, but I knew nothing about how gifs worked at the time and it came out both massive and heavily artifacted. I can't even post the gif on tumblr, but the animated version is up in an mp4 format (that does have more colour correction and generally looks better)

february

this is a weird pick to represent february (it wasn't even on the collage image) but this... thing does represent that month to me lol. this doodle took me all of 20 minutes and represents the most important battle of 2024... shaman king flowers stream vs frost's microwave

march

kentareo happened (in earnest, they've been here since the end of january)

april

I don't like anything I drew in april enough to put here

may

march-may was my flop era this year and I blame these two. at the start of the year I was using a LOT of heavy colour overlays to hide my inability to colour good and those really showed their weaknesses when it comes to pieces with strong complementary colour palettes. this one's nice though, I hated drawing kenta's shoes

june

big month for tss news! I really love the colours I got with my tss art from june, you can tell the overlay technique can work when you're not shackled by the kentareo colour palette

july

(wow this is really the same pose again. I promise I drew more things in between)

my first month out of high school! had a lot of fun going into the outfit details with this one

august

the most important change as far as this list goes- I switched programs to clip studio paint! I'd used adobe fresco for almost all of my digital art career, but I got a pc in august and finally made the switch. it took a while to adjust, mostly because my fresco process had emerged basically via natural selection under the program (and hardware) limitations I was working under. a lot of things (like the heavy texture) I had to relearn in csp with more intention (the august piece is a bit smooth, isn't it?)

september

I moved into uni and spent most of the month adjusting to the major life change. I spent most of my drawing time on this piece, trying to figure out techniques and download brushes to get the kind of texture I wanted. this one took absolutely ages

october

clip studio finally clicked for me. I figured out how to speed up the parts of my workflow that sucked (flat colours) and embraced a more paint-heavy, brushstrokey rendering style. the speed increases also meant I suddenly had the energy for backgrounds!

november

I drew the most this month out of any in the year. I also stopped needing the overlays to make my colours look nice, and so the palettes in my art got more diverse. this piece I remember drawing in about an hour at midnight when I had to wake up at 6:45 the next morning for work, and being so happy I finally captured this specific glowing hair effect

december

I drew so many full background pieces this month, but I want to shout out this non-background one for the shattering effect I got with the selection tool

and that's the end! many more things coming in the new year (some I've already drawn, actually)

[vintagelacerosette]

Art Tag 🖼🎨💕

I was tagged by these talented magnificent artist thanksss 💕

Molly @deathclassic Julissa @heymrspatel Deanna @deedala Ice @spookygingerr Ling @lingy910y

Have you always been interested in creating art? Yes, I was that kid in high school doodling anime girls throughout class lol

What's your favourite medium to use? I really like digital for the infinite undo button with my perfectionist ass lmao & I'm using Clip Studio. Paper art has been quite therapeutic for me too

Do you create outside of fandom? Yes

Share something you haven't finished and/or never got around to posting

I made a tribute to our Gallacrafts zine, but at the time, the mods had changed, so I was gonna create a companion piece. I didn't get around to it & then the mods had changed again 😅

Some OG crafting overlords Rhys @smokey-mickey Leah @whatwouldmickeydo Donna @sleepyfacetoughguy

I also have gallacrafts I haven't completed for really old themes, but I do still wanna post lol

Favourite piece you've made? Toss up between my gallacrafts Pride 2 piece (see piece that has most notes question) or my 2024 gallavich valentines/my icon

Draw your icon in a minute or less

You get the gist lmao

An underrated piece you've made in your opinion

A little bit to thus This collection of missing posters with the mixed media.

Do you do art in a professional setting? No, but I wanted to. I studied Visual Arts with a major in screen arts in university tho. Uni wasn't what I wanted my plan was to do animation, but, plans fell through

A piece you don't like but did really well on social media

This. The portions are wack basic background, Ian's face feels off & I rushed this

Post an old piece and compare it to your most recent, what are the similarites?

Wow pretty good that I get to compare these two lol. Still got the star motif & the way I'm drawing bodies is has improved yay! Look at that looooong squiggly pointing arm

Have you ever collaborated with another artist/s? Yes, with the lovely & super talented Ling @lingy910y I couldn't have as for a better first time collab partner 🫶🏼 Would love to collab more 🥰

What piece has the most notes? Are you surprised?

This one has the most notes for hand drawn art & the other is my most notes for art/crafts in general. I'm pretty proud these are top dogs & pleasantly surprised with the Deleted scenes one 😄

Who/What is your favourite subject matter? Our boys but also when I'm acrylic painting I'm loving painting clouds & sunset/sunrise skies hues

Show us something not from fandom you've made

I've been experimenting with acrylic paints after getting inspired by a sparkling water painting I saw on tumblr & here are some cute cows I drew for Leah

Where do you like to create? There's a table in the lounge room that's very spacious, has good light & a cart with a stash of my art supplies. But I wanna migrate back to my room bc I got a new big desk there to keep my mess away lol

Do you have a tag that you use to group your creations? Tell us so people can follow it. It's under Myn's art

Give yourself a shoutout, where can we commission/buy/follow you for more pieces? I don't sell my art or do commissions, but I kinda have some drawings I do love & toy with the idea of making postcards or have it on a mug

I'll tag sensational & inspiring artist if they wanna play 💖

@suzy-queued @tsuga-of-mars @samantitheos @burninface @darthvaders-wife @psychicskulldamage @michellemisfit @sgtmickeyslaughter @mickittotheman @y0itsbri @friend-bear @matt404b @takeyourpillsbitchh @michellemisfit @mikhailoisbaby @mikcrymilkovich

[joannaliangart]

Last Name (2023) 4.5 x 7” 25 page saddle-stitched book. 4-colour risograph cover, laser printed pages. Digital illustration and poetry.

documentation photos above taken by Ashley Cheng (@/0922s9 on instagram) and edited by me.

Last name is an illustrated poem about identity and not knowing what you inherit from blood. The zine centres around a multi-linguistic metaphor, where the disconnect of what "last name" means in Chinese and English represents the disconnect in culture, language, and family. (In Chinese, the surname comes first.)

---

Whoo man. One of the pieces that weighs heavier in my heart than most cause the subject is more of a currently ongoing thing. I always really liked this poem though its one of my favourites despite its subject matter, and I was glad to turn it into a visual art project. twas my final project for a 3rd year illustration class

Might upload all the digital illustrations of the pages someday but I want to make some new editions of the zine first! Tis another piece I'd like to sell n get out there in the world; I have like 18 copies or smth right now but to be so honest most of them are pretty fucked up lmao I did not do a great job binding these orz

Really love how the cover turned out! I was very specific with my paper choice; there's this beautiful paper (I think its name was Stardust White) with lil coloured specks in it that I bought from my school's riso studio specifically for this project and I adoreee how it turned out. My first time doing a 4 colour riso print too! Still feels very ambitious to me haha

A bit of linguistic context (yep I was playin around with the tension/differences between Chinese and English language; how v cool of me):

Chinese names have the surname come first; so while my English name is Joanna Liang, my Chinese name is Liang Shu Ran. So when I say 'last name' in English it refers to my surname, But theres a disconnect/inconsistency when literally translated, because the surname does not come last in Chinese.

This disconnect in what "last name" means serves as the conceptual centrepoint in this zine, representing the disconnect in culture, language, and family. In fact, in the title page, I translate the zine's title to Chinese (the 5 characters on the right of the phone):

Which, to give an accurate connotative translation back to English, would mean something like "final name" or "the very last name". (fitting again, considering I don't want children but that's a whoooooolleee other fuckin can of worms lmao)

In that title page, to the left of the phone is my Chinese name. But I've formatted it the English way, with the surname last: "Shu Ran Liang". And at the bottom, my English name formatted the Chinese way: Liang Joanna, with the title "translated" underneath as "first name" (so it still refers to my surname in this reversed formatting).

It's all kinda convoluted and complicated, which was intentional because that confusing and difficult to navigate path to understanding is precisely my experience with this particular aspect of my life.

+bonus here's this satisfying clean cut stack of pages ooooo *chefs kiss* Big stack cutter my beloved I'm gonna miss it when I leave uni it just so fun to use

+sweet things: when I was showing my mock-up with the roughs in class, one of my classmates said "that's beautiful" and pointed to the spread on page 21-22, with the fireworks exploding out of the panel frames. That was nice, cause I really like that spread too

[alicewisbeystudio]

2019 screen print

I always forget how much I loved doing screen prints, I really should’ve spent more time in the print studio at uni but my adhd had me in a chokehold :(

This is still one of my favourite prints (and one of my first) inspired by scribbling, ripping and tile dividers.

This set of prints was also in the 2019 exhibition-Cabin Baggage, print portfolio, Norwich University of the Arts gallery, UK

[bassicallymaestra]

Hello! I'm your secret Santa 🎅

I hope you're having a lovely and relaxing weekend 💕

What inspired you to become an artist?

Ahhh!!! Hello!!!! 😍😍😍

Thank you so much!! Art and music has always been a big part of my life and my biggest loves/hobbies! I started drawing around 10 years old when I saw Sailor Moon for the first time and became OBSESSED! I was constantly drawing and making little comics. I originally wanted to go into animation, but due to art desert of where I grew up, there weren't any opportunities for me and then the 2008 market crash happened and then I figured maybe I should try for a salary job vs. freelancing. I have always been serious about music, taking lessons most of my life and it was always enjoyable work for me. I found out I really love teaching and decided to pursue music education. Art became my escape and I got a job as an orchestra teacher. It was a tough school and job, but I stayed there for 7 years (it literally kicked the shit outta me, I even got punched my first year teaching) but I sharpened my skills and then Covid + quarantine happened and I decided life was too short and decided to go back to school for my masters and eventually graduated with a double masters in orchestral conducting and double bass performance. Also, double bass wasn't my main instrument before, but I always wanted to play and finally got the chance in grad school and fell in love!! Now I'm literally in my dream job of being a music professor at two universities! It's kinda funny with my original fear of freelancing and here I am, basically freelancing with two uni jobs, a private studio, and gigging with different ensembles around the area.

I wish music and art weren't so time intensive, I would love to keep making art (especially my output this summer) but I gotta pay the bills!

P.S. I've been thinking of putting a video of me playing some Hogwarts Legacy music for fun!

[unknownbookworm]

ok now give me Dee lore

MORE LORE MORE LORE!!!! It's time for Dee lore y'all, and I'm just going to make a list of my favorite Dee lore bits so tw: parent being shitty

Dee doesn't speak to their parents anymore, and it's only sort of by choice. Growing up Dee was a very wild and rambunctious child, constantly climbing trees and exploring everywhere they went. Their parents hated this, so they decided to "reign them in" by putting them in multiple activities. This continued through high school, with the reason slowly turning too "to make you successful in the future". Some activities they were in include Gymnastics, Piano, Volunteer work, Bob's Martial Art's studio, tutoring, etc. So mostly they did what their parents wanted them to do, took the classes they wanted them to take, and everything. Even went to the University they wanted them to go to, and went into the job field like they wanted. After getting the farm their parents tried to get them to reconsider to no avail, and Dee made their first real big choice and stayed in Pelican town. Their parents don't even acknowledge them anymore

Dee didn't do well in school, uni, or at their Joja job. Their heart wasn't in it, and they never wanted to pursue it in the first place. After getting fired from Joja (seriously ten times in a week is a record for breaking printers) they were in a spiral and didn't know what to do, in fear of disappointing their parents. Their grandpa came in clutch and offered up the farm, so they decided hey why not? Farming can't be that hard right

They have only ever had one partner before pelican town. During uni they got with a person that they thought was everything, an escape from the pressure constantly put on them, literally heart in their eyes deep. At graduation he dumped Dee and stomped all over their heart, saying he was only really using them for during Uni. Left Dee devastated

Dee is surprisingly agile for someone constantly falling and bumbling around. Is it because of their gymnastics? Is it because their goofiness is a mask?? who knows

While on that Dee is terrible with any sort of romance, can't handle a compliment or declaration without turning red

Dee LOVES making people laugh and smile, it makes them feel happy that people appreciate them. Even if people are laughing at something they did, at least they are making someone's day better

A lot of Dee's antics are cartoony in nature, appearing out of nowhere, running around like a madman, falling in rivers, you would think it would annoy them, but they actually enjoy it. Their process is "it's healing to make mistakes and be okay with it!"

Dee is often times happy, upbeat, excited, or buzzing with energy. However when they are very VERY tired, cranky Dee comes out. That Dee hates when people talk too loudly, is very very grouchy, and extremely clumsy. These moments are rare, but also the only times you will hear Dee grumble and be genuinely pissed at falling in a river. Only a few people know how to handle Dee when they are like this, Vinh (duh), Abigail (letter from Vinh when Dee first moved there), and Leah (she gets pretty privilege)

All of Dee's knowledge of farming and the locals come from Vinh's past and current letters. This is why for the first like 1-2 months Dee exclusively know some of the locals by nicknames Vinh wrote them as.

Dee has beef with Pierre, more of a silly "how dare you" beef but beef. Mostly from them always coming in when Pierre is in the isles looking at something, walking away, or just not at the counter. Is some of that Dee's fault? yeah it is. Will Dee continue to blame Pierre and be mad at him? yeah they will. this became a bit more justified when they saw Pierre price hiking the jam they sold him, so they started just delivering jam to the townspeople themself

AND THATS ON DEE LORE, THANKS SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!! I tried to get most of this to be stuff I haven't mentioned or only mentioned in passing before, but its all here! It is long but what can I do, I love my OCs

[fredfilmsblog]

We got such a good reaction to last week’s “The Summoning” postcard teasing a graphic novel series that I thought it was a good bet you hadn’t read the interview with creator Elyse Castro that was done in 2017 by the Frederator development group.

frederator-studios:

Frederator Studios’ Cooper Nelson checked in with Elyse Castro, creator of “The Summoning,” the newly released GO! Cartoons short on Cartoon Hangover, to ask a few burning questions. Let’s see if her answers are equally on fire.

Elyse Castro created “The Summoning,” about Claire, a witch, and her cat Edgar, on a quest for a missing spell ingredient. When I asked her our usual opening question—“Where did you study animation?”—Elyse just chuckled.

“Can’t answer that one,” she explained, “I didn’t!”

Rebellious against the ‘usual,’ Castro, of Brisbane, Australia, is a prolific creative, with experience ranging from playwriting to comics to taxidermy—she recently gave blacksmithing a go. Below, she doles out the deets on “The Summoning,” and leads us down her windy path to cartoon-creating.

So what did you study in school?

I went to uni for theater and visual art, but halfway through got really into the culture of tattooing, and became a tattoo apprentice. My Catholic parents were horrified. I was a tattoo artist for several years, then cooled off it—partly because of a hurt wrist, partly because I was tired of people’s shit tattoo ideas.

I can imagine. So then what’d you get up to?

I was doing freelance comics, some fine art, but also studied to become a drama teacher. I was frustrated about the neglect of arts and theater education in Australia, and decided to quit harping about the problems and lend a hand to the solutions.

Do you enjoy teaching?

I love connecting with the kids. And it’s creative—I teach at an all boys school, so I often write us alternative plays to fit them better, like our own version of “Robin Hood”. It’s a lot of laughs—I love making people laugh.

Is that why you wanna make cartoons?

Oh yeah – it’s always been a big motivation for me. My biggest goal in life all through growing up, and even now, is to make my sister laugh. It isn’t too hard, she’s thinks I’m a riot. She ended up becoming a research scientist, while I’m an adult entertained by Yo Gabba Gabba.

I respect that. So then what inspired “The Summoning”?

Certainly my maniac cats [see Winston below]. And actually, a lot of experiences with my sister. Voices we’d use, stupid things we’d do. And some gross stuff. Like, the whole bit with the dandruff in “The Summoning” was based on a time that I picked a big flake of the stuff off her head. I remember it now, a nice, sunny day…

Aha, gross! Gotcha. What mattered to you while developing your own short?

I thought about what I wanted to see in a cartoon—I’m drawn to the macabre, odd stuff, like my taxidermy. I’m very crafty, always making things, which lends itself to a witch character. And tone-wise, I wanted to keep it real, even have nuggets of education. Like in “The Summoning,” I tucked in a great factoid about poo consumption in the animal kingdom.

Sounds about as educational as a Frederator show gets!

I still can’t believe I have a project with Frederator. It was my childhood dream to make a cartoon, and I’m a huge fan of Pendleton Ward and Natasha Allegri. I even got to work with Natasha, who directed “The Summoning”! I was fangirling, it was so hard to act cool.

What’re your favorite cartoons?

Definitely Daria, Ren and Stimpy, South Park, and Adventure Time.

So about the witchcraft stuff – dabble in witchcraft yourself?

Not really, but I’m very interested in paganism and witchcraft. I study it, love the history behind it. My friends and I mess around with tarot cards sometimes, but I haven’t gone farther than that… yet.

– Cooper

Watch Elyse’s “The Summoning” on Cartoon Hangover!

For the 1 year anniversary of “The Summoning” and Go! Cartoons, bumping @elysecastro‘s interview non-US fans link here!

(this was also my first interview! We’re at ~50 a year later, with video and probs audio ones too on the way. Anthology post forthcoming! ?)

– stillcooper

[overly-dramatic-artist]

15 Questions

tagged by @rinnysega and @emberkyrlee 💕

1. Were you named after anybody?

My first name, no, not that I’m aware of. My middle name though is after the author of the book my mom was reading before she went into labor with me.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhm, I think last Thursday. I had to pick up the remains of my childhood dog from the vet, and the cremation service had made a little clay imprint of her paw. When I saw that along with the box of her ashes, I cried for several minutes. I imagine that later today, I will cry once my LSAT is finished lol.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. My mom jokes that my dog is the closest she’ll ever get to grandchildren from me.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Only with good friends. I try to be as genuine as possible with people I’m not super familiar with or am just not close to. I think sometimes my line delivery is too sincere for people to differentiate when I joke.

5. What sports do you play/have played?

I’m not a super sporty person, but as a kid, I played soccer and baseball. I also did a lacrosse camp at one point, which at liked, but I’ve never really enjoyed competitive sports.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about someone?

Hair seems to be the thing most notable to me, and is also the best way I remember people by.

7. Eye color?

Hazel.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, 100%. I like to end stories on a note that makes me feel hopeful and better about life. (My OCD also makes watching scary and disturbing movies really difficult mentally)

9. Any special talents?

Not very special, but I like to think I’m good at singing. Also, vocal mimicry.

10. Where were you born

California.

11. What are your hobbies?

Drawing, painting, acting, cooking, baking, singing, writing, some gaming (sims, skyrim, dnd), occasionally sewing

12. Do you have any pets?

I have one dog, Willy the weenie dog, and a big tabby cat that has a multitude of names, but most often is called Mister.

13. How tall are you?

5’ 4”

14. Favorite subject in school?

I loved my studio art class, I kinda had free reign to do whatever I wanted. In uni, I loved my Boccaccio class and my directing class.

15. Dream job?

I do not dream of labor…..but honestly if I could be a professional performer living a comfortable life without worry of a predatory work environment, that would be a dream. But I am perfectly content with my current track of hopefully going on to be a lawyer making a positive and fulfilling impact on the world, as well as doing my silly art things on the side.

No pressure tags (so sorry if you’ve already done it): @thecrazyashley-blog @rosellacwrites @unskilled-dabbler @chronic85doodler @dororoxpenana

[books-loverss]

I've always been a huge avid reader, I named this blog "books-loverss" for a reason, but since I started this uni degree almost 4 years ago I stopped reading so much. I used to spend most of summers behind books loosing myself in other worlds, now my summers and most of time is me in front of pc/tablet/book/documents studying or trying too. I miss this version of me... the one who read read and was always so full of words and stories in her mind. There was a moment in my life in which I wanted to be a writer and tried to translate my fantasy into words, by the way I had the fanfiction period like every one here hahaha what a period! In any case I was never completely satisfied (I am a fricking perfectionist) so I tried the other passion and thing that I always loved doing: art! I used to draw, paint, sketch on paper as a stress free and I still have so many pieces back home. But like reading when I started uni I stopped drawing or well I drew just few times and sometimes I felt like I forgot how to do it. Last june when I was in full exam season I decided to dowload an app to do my notes. One day I found myself doodling and there it was: my first real drawing after ages without even really thinking! I started the habit again and found myself enjoying it so much. I could still draw. After all this time art saved me again and even if I am still not in a very good place mentally speaking, I know that when I am in drawing mode I am the happiest carefree person.

I am trying to start reading more too and I accept advices if you have it.

Do you ever think about the so many versions of yourself? The ones who were there and let you be the person who you are now. The versions that you left behind because you grow up, you change or simply you want not to have or again the ones that you can't let go of and are still here. The versions that could not happen because of decisions made, roads taken and doors closed.

I do. I think about all of them in particular there is one that I have in my heart: the version of me who decided to go to art school and is living in a small studio in a big city, who is an artist and makes money from her passion and read so many books and really enjoys her easy simple life. Sometimes I like to think that she can still be real.

[starjxsung]

Missing you all the time <333 We're all here for you Star - I can't imagine what it's like to go through something like that - please be kind to yourself as you recover and know that it's not your fault !! and even if things don't seem to be getting better or it's going slow, be patient with yourself and remember that we all love you so much regardless of how you feel youre doing and want you to take all the time you need <3 It really does suck that vile people exist and I pray that you stay safe <333 How is the rest of life? Work? Hobbies? Cat??? As for me... SUMMER YAAAAA and yesss making BANK!!! I have a bit of time off before the speech arts academy opens for summer and I'll be working two weeks full time in July!!! More money!!! (I need it cause I'm saving up for my first tattoos!!! I have enough saved up ... but like, it's always nice to have more money for security ... esp as a uni student...) and YES hehe South Africa... I had so much fun learning and birding and ID plants and collecting data - my prof is amazing and said I was one of the best students despite being the youngest hehe (a total ego boost) and im hoping to go back in the future with his support to do research on scholarship!!! and the hook up was certainly unexpected... it was mostly based on a deep emotional connection and being similar people despite having vastly different life experiences if that makes sense (but also, he's hot like 6ft and like alsjdfkjd idk how i managed to pull him but as he said himself... I got that 'tism rizz 😎). we probably wont be entering anything committed and probably reeling things back to a close friendship b/c our lives are pretty different. BUT hes a great person and im really glad I met him. (we're having a studio ghibli day this week!) WAHHH STAR ILY SOOOO MUCH thank YOU for being there and being such a light ✨🌟💖 I will continue to pop in every so often - however, summer is looking HECTIC with work and family trips... BUT I WILL UPDATE YOUUUUU!!! Please take care ily ily 💕💕💕 🌱

I love you I love you I am making mental note of your words and keeping them in all 4 chambers of my heart foreverrrrr 💓🤞👼

LIFE IS GOOD….. work has been insaaaaanely busy for me these past few weeks and I’m literally so exhausted I can barely even stay awake on my phone sometimes. so I either crash super early or stay up until like 5am. there’s no in between (it’s literally 5am right now RAHHH) hobbies are good TOO (spoiler alert it’s writing) and my cat is doing better than ever (just as spoiled and insane as ever) so things are feeling a little more back to normal !!! now that I’m back at my apartment I’m w my kpop stuff again and my family and everything feels good <3 I’m so excited to publish stuff again soon and get on main blog at some point

MY GOSHHHH YOUR SUMMER SOUNDS SO BUSY I AM SO EXCITED FOR U THO…… where are you working in July??? I hope it all goes well also UR FIRST TATTOOOOOOOS GASP I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE THEM EVENTUALLY

I’m so so so glad South Africa was so memorable and productive!! It sounds like you got so much done (in more ways than one LMAO) and I’m manifesting so hard you can go back for research on scholarship!!!! not surprised at all that you were the best student bc ofc you were. you lil smartie 🤓💓

Ahhhh I’m glad you guys seem to be going about it in such a healthy way!! It’s not easy to admit when you’re on a different path from somebody you’re super into but it sounds like you guys have great communication with each other and I’m glad you’re staying good friends 🫶 also studio ghibli day YESSSSSS I love all the ghibli themed dates in the summertime like it’s the most wholesome sneaky link activity out there

I LOVE YOU SOOOO SOSOSO MUCH I LOOK FORWARD TO MY UPDATES WHENEVER YOU CAN PROVIDE THEM RAHHH I LOVE YOU SWEET ANGEL 🤞💘💞🫶💓👼 take care of yourself !!!!!!!!!

[asispsyche]

About to finish my first year of university and want to commemorate it

Here are my takeaways:

Living on campus is incredible. Getting away from my family has been great for me and I've got my dorm back for next fall. I'm going to start working this summer in hopes of being able to get an apartment or something in the city for next summer instead of going home

I've learned so much about romantic relationships! Not from being in one! From witnessing my roommate's. Excellent example of what not to do.

I am not opposed to having a guy for a roommate. But 3 people in one room is not a good arrangement. Yes I mean the boyfriend

I. Love. The. City. Part of the reason I chose my uni was bc it's in a city. When I first visited, we walked around some and I loved that you could do that. You could just walk everywhere because everything was so close together. Also I don't have a driver's license. I grew up in a normal suburban area where it was all houses and then businesses were just far enough apart that you had to drive to get anywhere. There were crosswalks, but they weren't safe. Here, I can use a crosswalk and have complete faith that the cars will stop.

Public transportation!!! Buses are awesome!

I think I have ADHD. I've known it was possible for a while, but it's really starting to make stuff difficult. Spring semester has not gone great. Had to drop one class and I'm honestly expecting a D in another. I need to start looking into a diagnosis.

To go with that, I've changed my major to undecided. I went in as Computer Science bc I took CS courses in HS and I was pretty good, so I figured that would be my thing. It is not. I did those courses for 3 years and every time they'd say we we're going to learn new stuff this year and then we never did. Counting my first semester of uni, I've learned the basics of java 4 times. Then second semester rolled around and I realized I did not want to do this for the rest of my life

Started a studio art minor. First course was art history, which I thought was going to be boring but I ended up enjoying it so much that I'm thinking about making it my new major

Took a course in scifi movies. Probably the best 8am I'll ever take. Would absolutely do again

Archeology course!!! Another strong contender for my new major

Morning courses really aren't too bad when they're a 10 min walk from my dorm

Ugh textbooks expensive

Signed up for summer courses

Laundry is relaxing. It helps that the machines in my building are free

Study rooms are great. Big windows are high on my hierarchy of needs

Dining halls 10/10

I don't like when the buses are crowded so I've started walking everywhere most of the time and it's great

Pretty buildings

Nice trails

Cool crystal shop in the city

I don't recommend getting sick during finals season. Especially in December. Laundry rooms are lovely when you suddenly become cold blooded like a lizard

Wish I'd joined the sailing club. Had fun at the interest meetings but didn't work with my schedule

What I took Fall 23:

Anthropology (tombs)

English

Comp. Sci pt. 1 and lab

What I took Spring 24:

Art History (Renaissance to Present)

Spanish pt. 1

Discrete Mathematics (it is math without numbers) (I miss multivariable calculus) (this is the one I dropped)

Comp. Sci pt. 2 (regret, but it was necessary)

What I'm doing this summer:

American History

Spanish pt. 2

What I'm doing next fall:

Color Theory

Jewelry Making

Astronomy (lab at night!)

Spanish pt. 3

[alisfineart]

“To see the World, Things Dangerous to Come to, to See Behind Walls, To draw Closer, To Find Eachother, and to Feel. That is the Purpose of Life.”

Life Magazine Motto from ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’

I wrote this quote from ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’ on my studio wall, because the film taught me a lot about what it is to truly live and experience the world; and Walter’s character (portrayed by Ben Stiller) resonated with me a lot and made me consider the way I live my own life and what this has meant for my artwork.

during my first year at NUA i studied animation before transferring to Fine Art in second year. During a symposium that year, we had a lecture from animator Samy Fecih, who told us about studying life in order to mimic it through animation. he said “how will you be able to create the illusion of life, if you don’t have one?” his words really stuck with me and i feel like they apply to all areas of art, not just animation. In a lot of ways, art is life, art is experience; you can’t have one without the other. Samy encouraged us to play games, do sports, go outside, read, draw, join clubs, have hobbies. he reminded us that it’s important to have experiences and time to enjoy yourself and explore your interests, or you will have nothing to guide and inspire your work.

i think this whole philosophy is very important to my own practice; how can i create an experience for other people, if i haven’t explored the world and gained my own experience? in this final unit i aim to get out into the world, research and learn through experience, and bring what i can back to my work.

The idea of living life to the fullest also got me thinking about my life and career prospects after i have finished uni. I know I would like to have a career in the arts in the future, and in an ideal world i would love to continue as a practicing fine artist, and i am also considering a career as an art director or production designer, but i also need to live my life and experience the world. at the time of writing i am 22 years old, which means that for the last 17 years i have consistently been in full time education, all i have ever known is working towards the next level of academia, and have always felt that the pressure has made me desperate, and therefore any work i have made to be graded hasn’t been my best because i felt i was rushing. my best work has been made when there is no pressure to meet set criteria or compete with my peers, so i think after i finish uni i will take some time away from the arts as an industry, so i can focus on living my life and making work for the love of it, rather than as an ambition or career.

so in summary, my main goal in this unit and going forward will be to see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, to find eachother and to feel. because you can’t have art without life.