#i was gonna say ill make a proper post about this topic later but honestly i dont think i will

[toestalucia]

latest story update spoilers for the billionth time

but ive been (again) thinking about things like the first Big enemy being freesia who wanted to rewrite the world with the help of akasha (to delete astrals/byleistr meeting viola i support womens wrongs) and now here we are. going to estalucia to beg for our friends back by fixing all the damage the otherworld did (the biggest argument being that the fizzue in the sky is still there and thats as unnatural as it gets). but they all recognize that even if that wasnt on the table, they wouldve gone anyway. not gonna grab the screenshots tonight but it feels especially excellent that lokis the one who asks them if thats what they intend to do, since he lost byleistr. he knows death even before all of this happened. and noa adds the addition about the sky but theyre all so.......'yeah we just want our friend back, idc if theyre dead, give them back'.

and i think its ssooooooo fun considering theres a decent amount of events/characters with similiar things happening. along with how they point it out during the chapters too. every island they visit has the 'despite all the losses, the people are doing their best to rebuild and move forward' to vyrns 'but which way even is forward?' and gran who doesnt even chase the letter when its carried off by the wind (thank u rackam for picking it up ilu). thinks about shitori being told to not give up as well. not giving up and moving forward is the skydwellers biggest strength. raauughhh

anyway i think future conflict about this is excellent. cant wait for the story update. this is how main crew will get story-related alts (dealing with their inevitable resurrection/timeline-changing/whatever ends up happening to get them back).

[amisbro]

UtaPri Q Time...this is a good one

So its that time again when I write up some Q’s that I have been thinking about for UtaPri (especially from the Anime story POV) and I thought we would go over them because some of these I have been thinking about for a GOOD LONG TIME! READY...LET’S GO!

Q:  Do you think the “God of Composing” in Season 1 was supposed to be Raging? A:  This is a good one out of the gate BECAUSE it would fit with the story from S1-4 Here’s why If we remember the scene in Shining’s Office after the “first formation” of STARISH (Sans Cecil....sorry @baku5ds) there was this person that we were told was the “God of Composing” and it clearly was a dude so anything was possible...now its also possible that could have been Shining as I don’t think it was ever properly revealed (plotholes...gotta love them) but if we go with the idea that it WAS Raging (or some affiliated with him) well that makes sense with Season 2 in a way when he come out later with HEAVENS as a trio (The “Trio of Amateurs” as Shining so Condescendingly called them) so it COULD have been him...then we remember that Shining mentioned that this person won “countless awards” and you kind of put that off to the side. This brings me to this question Q:  Do you THINK HEAVENS was supposed to always be a rival or as “evil” as some interpreted them to be at the time or do you think something else was in the works? A:  Aight...this is an interesting one So do I think HEAVENS was supposed to be a “rival” at first?  No!  I think I might have explained this before but let me do it again to what I THINK was supposed to happen vs. what DID happen I think personally HEAVENS was going to be a separate thing...I really do.  I think (without knowing the story plan at this point in time) that A-1 probably saw QN and was like “Hey we should make them rivals to STARISH cos that would work with them in the same Agency” but then Broc was like “Well we COULD but we just had them come into the series last year so the fandom might not have had proper time to warm up to them yet.” So what they DID was they created a group that would be “villains” to STARISH and they could do that without sacrificing QN.  Now this WOULD work out for them in the end but I do think if I had to guess someone wanted to put QN as rivals but HEAVENS got created so that they could do something with little work involved...I’ll explain that in the next one Q:  With the way HEAVENS was introduced in Seasons 2 and 3 do you think that set everything up for failure with Legend Star? A:  Failure is a weird thing to quantify here.  If we talk about “failure” as in “Allowing the HEAVENS member to properly introduce themselves” then in some ways yes and this ALSO became a problem because the “Lighting Rod” that is “Leader Man” was the one they were building to as far as trying to get sympathy on and it WORKED...until we got to those infamous 3 episodes because up until then no one said anything “bad” about Eiichi and then it all went to shit after the fact.  It was like Broccoli realized people were getting behind them slowly ,panicked ,and then proceeded to fuck it all up again and the reaction that happened after HEAVENS was thrown out in Episode 11 was much different than what they wanted...I wonder if they ever properly figured out where they screwed up HOWEVER If we talk about HEAVENS being a failure as far as their (group) singles go...that’s trickier See their first “publicly available” single went to #3 and stayed on the Oricon for about 2 weeks which SHOCKED ME...I’d have thought they would have spent one day and then done Well HEAVEN SKY happened and it was pretty much closer to what I expected. The single peaked at #5 and then bottomed out not long after.  It was weird too because I tend to wonder why “Immortal Inferno” did so well and HEAVEN SKY kind of flamed out.  I think a big part of it was that the HEAVEN SKY CD was an “album” (that was its classification on the Oricon) and then “Immortal Inferno” was a “single” and that made it “easier”?  I dunno now let’s go for this one Q:  You are cautious about the Eiji/Camus pairing with Masa now but you had an idea for an Eiji/Masa pairing with a fic ages ago...what happened? A:  This would be a fair question (and is) so let’s address it I’m trying to remember the timeline...I’m almost positive that the stage had happened LONG BEFORE I wrote that idea for an AU with Camus and Eiji (and it was to have me too because “self-insert”) and I was going to start writing it actually months ago but I kept putting it off and putting it off and then I just canned it...am I saying I COULDN’T write it?  I mean I could but it would OBVIOUSLY be different than whatever Broc wants to do with the idea.  I mean I have the idea of what to do with it still but its a long series and there were some other ideas I want to implement too...like a couple idols from another company that I won’t name...yet (and now with an announcement of another game coming out in English I might have some other ideas floating around too). The big thing for me was that when I wrote my last fic a big motivator was spite because of certain things (like the fact we STILL DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT DOLCE) and I wanted to separate myself from that idea for a little bit...not saying I won’t still write it but I want to make sure I know the main cast and what kind of story its going to be cos I have these like REALLY GRAND ideas for fic series’ but writing it is fucking hell man! Let’s do some lighter questions here Q:  Is there a pairing you will never write for no matter what? A:  Nagi/Haru...NOPE! Q:  If there was a member of any of the three units that you would want to see on a sports card in Shining Live who would it be? A:  Camus landing a Triple Axel Q:  If you were to write a “Misadventures of Scientist Tokiya” who would be his assistant? A:  Okay so I have a couple of ideas for this one First would be Satsuki because despite his volatile nature I don’t think he would wreck shit if he knew something could KILL THEM Eiji because...he always likes being helpful and we know that OR NAGI *record scratch* Okay someone just went “WHY HIM?!” Cos as much of a brat as Nagi is (sorry @heavens-saved-my-life but your son is) he’s also HELLA SMART!  Like I think he could help Tokiya make some cool shit to help “Save the world from the forces of Evil” or at the very least he could be the guy that plays pranks on him when he isn’t looking and experiments go “POP!” (I didn’t say “BOOM!” cos that means REALLY BIG EXPLOSION and I’m not trying to kill one of Jamie’s kids) And now for @baku5ds‘ favorite part of my posts ANYWAYS Let’s do one more on the way “out the door” Q:  You have to pair Eiji with a member of another unit from another Agency...who ya got and why? A:  That would be THIS GUY

(And if memory serves this GIF comes from when the song “Crazy Baby Show” was the BGM,,BADASS!) ANYWHO (I hate sidetracking myself...oh well it at least lightens up the post) “WILL YOU GET BACK TO WORK?!” (FINE FINE) Yes Eiji would be working with Rikka and I got REALLY GOOD REASONS FOR THIS 1.  Mom figure Okay look we know that he’s got Kira for that (and maybe soon Masa...depending if he wants to adopt the kid) but we also know that this guy is one of the most genuine of sweethearts so they are NEVER gonna have a conflict but you know (Okay now him and Dai might have issues cos Eiji ,not realizing Rikka is a dude, might confess his love for him but...WHY AM I THINKING LIKE THIS?!) *The things I do to make these posts entertaining...or at least try cos I honestly don’t like to be too serious all the time* ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I’M GETTING BACK ON TOPIC! 2.  Someone has to help keep Shiki out of trouble in Dai’s absence Alright true story time:  I have considered doing a thing in one of my 1,000,000 verses where Eiji goes to help out with the Tsukino Agency and he gets asked to fill in for Dai because of his illness (Although in the real I am wondering if Maeno might consider pulling double so that the suspension of activities for SolidS doesn’t have to last too long...or just get Yuuma cos he might like doing it for real) and because of this a HEAVENS member pulls double for Raging and Tsukino?  I’d be down with it #3 is kind of a joke but you wanna hear it anyways? Eiji would get to meet the “Other Eichi” (QUELL) and he would get to meet Maeno’s “other half” in Haru!  I NEED to make that a thing Alright well fuck this has been going on for long enough BUT we will be doing this again really soon! As it is I will talk to you probably tomorrow with a new fic and until then take care and have a good one

[charlie-artlie]

hhhhhggrrrmmhhhgggggggg aaaaaaa ok i got on in this white hell box to start slamming rvb s15 but that ep10 was so good!!!!!!! click below to watch me go back and forth on this topic for like 5or10 paragraphs lmao!!!!!!!!!

ok so lemme start with things i like which 

1). UHG??? that beach scene!!!!!!! perfect amazing perfection everything ive ever wanted???!!!!????!!!! they held hands im literally crying my hands were over my face the whole time like!!!!!!! AAAAAA so that was great

2). i........ like temple. even tho i got spoiled about him being a villain  i still thought the reveal was good and i have such a soft spot for smarmy yandere style “im gonna emotionally torture u :)” villains. it also probably doesnt help that i love and miss church so hes a fun stand in on that front AS WELL AS a stand in as tuckers new evil boyfriend now that felix is a pancake

2.5). unrelated but did we get confirm on felix being dead??? he aint dead til i see a body jussaiyin...

3). i have mixed feelings on church coming back that ill get into but church is maybe my favorite character so ultimately i view that as a plus?

4). i really put this one off cuz i was still reeling over this newest episode but all the potential grif development (and by extension red team development as a whole) that looks like its gonna happen this season has got me bittin the pillow like i kid u not im on the edge of my seat fam

ok but like. now onto the real shit. (THIS GOT SO LONG SHIT)

the one thing that is really REALLY holding me back from fully enjoying this season is wanting to know what the crews fuckin intentions are with this show. like. im gonna go ahead and put my hat on the fuckin table or whatever but season 13 was an ending. it was  good fucking ending too (and i know someones gonna go back and pull up receipts of me a year or so ago begging for a continuation season after s13 ended but dont do that pls) and to continue after an ending like that with a time skip like that makes this whole season feel like an epilogue to me? like a clean up? like there were some loose ends were tying up.

like. if theyre serious about this season and about ALL these new characters theyre bringing up then were looking at an arc here. like its gonna have to be to bring this to a proper close after all this extra shit?? they cant comfortably bring this to a close in one season

like what are they planning????whats the point of all this????

i honestly wouldn’t even  be so bent out of shape about it all, like it wouldn’t seem like such a stretch but the fact that we’re introduced to this season with dylan, who is also, largely, framed as a main character this season. who is. a new character. :/

like i get the narrative tool of using a reporter to drag your characters out of retirement for “one last job” (again, kinda framing it to be one season which worries me!) but whyyyyyy do we have to go through all this stuff with dylan and jax??????? like W H Y do we have to go through the same relationship development we’ve seen like three times already?????? jax is characteristically indistinguishable from caboose, so like???? weve seen this before!! the cold cynical “i dont need friends im just doing my job” person getting frustrated by having to deal with the idiot heart-of-gold tagalong who refuses to hate them no matter how mean or terrible they are like?? we saw it with church and caboose. we saw it later with wash and caboose. we saw it with church and caboose againnnnnnnn. we even kinda saw it with tucker and palomo!!!!! like whats the point of repeating this scene again and again!!!! we get it cynical mean assholes deserve unconditional love too i guess!!!!

like i just cant really get into it. and i dont even really mind dylan like i like her a lot more than i initially thought i would but i already can pretty much see the direction her character arch is going so im just sorta like shrug. shes gonna push jax until he leaves and then...........only then..........will she learn how much she should have valued his unconditional love.................even if he annoyed her and they didnt get along objectively in any way shape or form. but since he likes her then its her job to reciprocate even if she doesnt get anything out of the relationship at all. also she shot him. but whatever their friendship is beautiful (didnt know i had this much salt over this particular subject lmao whoops)

ok so narratively i only see two reasons to do this and im not crazy about either

1). theyre building up to draw some parallels between dylan and like wash or church or s/t but again i dont see the reasoning like why is this season framed around teacher dylan an important lesson about friendship you brought the show back from the jaws or death to give my a character arc for a new character????

2). this its more significant than it seems (i.e. theyre not who we think they are, i mean, its pretty suspicious we only have jax’s stage name rn) like theyre more significant players than we’ve been led to believe

(((also also im with grif on the whole bringing church back thing lmao. like WE DID THIS ALREADY??? there were a lot of AI why dont we ever go on an epic quest to save any of my other favs like oh idk TEX?????????!!!!!!!!!???????)))

but really tho my real and true problem is that i cant tell why theyre still making episodes. is it because theres still a story here that needs to be told or just because they can. and i know my hangup with this mostly stems from one interview i saw after s13 ended with miles and burnie where burnie pretty much said “yea if i had it my way uh i would end it here but hey it is what it is :/” and that just sorta struck a cord with me. maybe because he was a writer and one of the original people who created it i was sorta uncomfortable with taking the show places he didnt want to take it (and i could be TOTALLY off base with this assessment!!!! like i dont know how burnie really feels about this show rn he could be totally digging the new stuff this is just a personal things thats a hangup in just my own head!!!!)

ok so i think i covered pretty much everything i needed to say about this season so far if you actually read this far thanks if u gave up and skipped to the end then i have one last food for thought:

im gonna be the huge stick in the mud who says it: people are putting way too much faith in a company that is still using donut to make cheap gay jokes by actually thinking grimmons is going to become canon and im sorry that youre going to be disappointed. what we are going to get is a unsatisfying reunion and subsequent make up a la church and tucker in s12 and thats it.

thats not what i want to happen thats what i believe will happen. i am FULLY prepared to eat my own hat if im wrong. you may consider this text post legally binding

[lepetitstylo]

Being an ADHD Student is Hard as Fuck

I have pretty severe ADHD but never got my diagnosis until I was 17 in the summer right before my senior year of high school. Everything made sense right then and right there. 

I struggled in classes to stay on task unless I was really into the subject like in history or in English, never in math or science. I struggled to understand how people stayed on one task all day when my brain jumped from topic to topic. I knew something was wrong. My teachers knew something was wrong. But they could never figure it out.

When I got the diagnosis, everything finally clicked for me. Something in my brain didn’t want to add up. So it didn’t. ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder affects a lot of people in a lot of different ways. Let me explain:

ADHD in females (though due to more recent circumstances I identify as a male but that’s a post for later) generally presents later. Males, especially younger males, get diagnosed quicker with ADHD than females. Why? Simple - because the symptoms are wildly different. In younger males, they are characteristically more aggressive, never want to sit still, and generally rowdy and loud. My father said when he was a kid, he probably had ADHD (and still does) but his mother just put him outside because it called an “overactive imagination.” 

However in females, the symptoms of ADHD are different. Younger females with ADHD are normally described as always in their head, quiet, dreamy or spaced out. The common understanding is that they are just Like That. When they grow older, especially during puberty or right around the time they enter into high school, something changed. Typically, they normally cannot sit still for more than an hour and a half (ninety minutes) and they cannot focus. Understanding this is hard for some adults. Knowing that their daughter went from having all As and Bs to a C or D student is hard concept to grasp and that’s why females typically get diagnosed with ADHD later.

Now after reading all this, you might ask: What can I do to check and see if I have ADHD? And my answer is - go talk to your primary care physician or go talk to your therapist. Both of them can help. In my situation, I talked to my therapist and my therapist, who already wanted me to get tested for other mental illnesses and learning disabilities before I went to college, told the psychologist who was testing me to run a few tests for ADHD as well. When he sat down with me and my mom, he looked at me and said “I don’t know how you have survived in school this long with this bad of ADHD.” And honestly, he was really nice about it. My primary care physician had gotten a copy of my testing and she said that it was good I got tested under my therapist’s recommendation because she wanted to me to get tested a well. If you find out that you have ADHD and you do receive a proper diagnosis, then talk to your primary care physician about medicine because it can and will be very helpful. 

In terms of self diagnosing, never attempt to do that in general. I do not condone self diagnosing because you can hurt yourself in that process. But if you do have the diagnosis - either by a doctor or a psychologist - and you cannot afford the medicine (due to the fact that ADHD medicines are mostly controlled substances, they’re fucking expensive, the ones I take are 388.68 per month and I can only get 30 pills and I have to call my doctor every time to get a refill) the best course of action is self medicating. I don’t mean buying black market pills. I mean caffeine.

Caffeine is actually very useful to a person with ADHD. It works the opposite way it does with everyone else’s brain and it’s honestly the best course of action if you cannot get medicine. 

A lot of people have heard the myth that ADHD is a left over gene from when we were hunters and gathers because ADHD helps them jump from topic to topic and think on their feet. Now while there isn’t much scientific evidence to back this up, I personally believe that this is true. It would make a lot of sense historically when you think of the fact that the hunters who survived were often the ones that tested the limits. We do not need ADHD now, but boy it sure does exist. 

Being a student with ADHD is hard. I understand that. I’ve been in your place before. But sometimes, you can use it to your advantage. It will never be on standardized testing because that’s four hours in a quiet room with no talking, your’re gonna go mad. But all those creative assignments and all those assignments that require you to think outside the box, you’ll do better in. Why? Because you’re hardwired for that. You can’t change the fact you have ADHD but don’t let ADHD control you.

Go out there and do the best you can! 

I might make a studying with ADHD post later so keep an eye out for that.

Sources for today:

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/index.shtml 

Things I have to say

LEGALLY I CANNOT DIAGNOSE ANYONE. I AM NOT A GO TO SOURCE FOR MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS, PLEASE GO SEE A PRIMARY CARE PHYSICIAN IF YOU ARE CONCERNED FOR YOUR HEALTH. I CANNOT DIAGNOSE I AM A COLLEGE STUDENT. I CANNOT DIAGNOSE YOU. 

-i am not affiliated with any company or brand. sponsors (if any) will be explicitly stated in the text. i am my own independent person and these are my own independent thoughts formed by hours of research. i am my own brand.- 

AGAIN NOT A MEDICAL DOCTOR DON’T GET ME TO DIAGNOSE YOU.