#i was gonna draw something w/ more actual effort put into it but. 1) my wrist/hand is so fucking sore rn [i drew this yesterday]

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

i really wish i was kidding when i say this is what happened but. highkey lowkey this is genuinely what happened.

[shirogane-oushirou]

gonna continue to puzzle over specifics when i'm forcing myself to go offline LMAO but. poke.mon au!!

ren started his journey in kalos with a froakie, but didn't get far because 1) he wasn't actually that interested in battling, 2) he preferred photographing and studying the things and places he saw, and 3) his parents were pressuring him to do something else because his efforts could be "put to better use" elsewhere.

now he's working alongside many others across the world to find new medicinal and therapeutic purposes for various poke.mon (his focus of course being in fungus-based poke.mon + various kinds of spores). he's also skilled at treating spore-based illnesses. his current team helps him in his studies.

i just kinda gave my s/i the team i like when i'm playing the games (aside from scolipede, though i DO have a shiny scolipede that i love hehe). my initial idea was "ro gets through most of the johto league before getting into an accident that cuts their career short" but like. lbr. i've never been the adventuring type LMAO SLAJDNKJN, i've been a gamer and art kid since i was itty bitty, and any time outside was spent looking at cool plants and sticks and shit.

so while my team here was going to have a lugia in place of scolipede, i just don't think that makes sense. nah, more likely, i can imagine starting in johto with cyndaquil as a starter, mareep and magikarp as early catches, realizing the league isn't For Me, and moving to coumarine in kalos with family. once there, i could travel to places around lumiose and catch a venipede, be rescued by a gengar (based on a dream. as usual for me lol.)...

and i'm still working out the How, but i wuv sawk and need him on the team. i do get in some kind of accident at some point, so maybe he could help me-- actually that might work out sdkjkj i played b&w (and developed a surprising affection for sawk) just a couple of years before becoming ill, so it would Kinda Work with the irl timeline??? hmmmm!

but the basic idea is just: ren's passing through coumarine while on his way to one of the surrounding routes for his research. i'm drawing some pastel landscapes by the waterside, as a way to get some fresh air. i catch his attention, he starts up a conversation, and find we have quite a bit in common! and even though he has to go, he finds excuses to pass through the area more often... :3c just kind of "what if we were both Normal (tm) but also there were poke.mon?" lmao.

[tsukasageorge]

8 10 12 14 16 18 artist ask

nico is carrying my entire inbox

1. what is your favorite color to work with?

pink and purple my beloved. red is cool too

2. who is your favorite character to draw?

(shoves mound of alluka drawings under the table) i do not have a favorite ahaha maybe aubrey because she has long hair 😊😊😊😊😊😊

3. what song(s) do you listen to when you do art?

a lot

4. how often do you draw?

at least every few days. it's pretty rare for me to go more than a week without drawing nowadays but i used to draw much less regularly and improved so much slower

5. digital or traditional?

digital! traditional is nice in small doses. i think im done with normal pencils i prefer either painting or like. charcoal as i recently discovered

6. tag your favorite artists/inspirations!

UH. UH. YOU DO I TAG YOUR ART BLOG OR MAIN. @shitbox-drawn my friend who's not on tumblr but she was my first art mutal ever i love her her names kyoki um. ngl i dont know anyone's name. tiucotheus (i dont wanna tag them i feel like id bother them) & yuumei art. hyperpop type art has been a pretty big inspiration for me recently i love colors

7. do you prefer sketching, outlining, or coloring?

sketching <3 lineart is to me what coloring is to normal people. it's relaxing sometimes but i need 1 million stabilzer. you already know how i feel about coloring

8. show us at least 2-3 drawings from 1-2 years ago.

this is the iconic sibling moment i was talking about. its roughly a year old now, and looks pretty stiff, but it was like. kinda insanely good for my skill at the time. pretty big point in my art history

here's one from 2021, its one of the oldest drawings i have on my computer. gilda was supposed to be there but i couldnt draw her so i gave up

9. what drawing program do you use? (if the artist does digital art)

clip studio paint my beloved

10. are you right or left handed?

right

11. warm or cool colors?

why are we pitting two bad bitches against each other..... personally i like ourple

12. draw one of your favorite characters in 15 seconds.

unlluka

14. what was something that you used to draw a lot that you don’t draw as much anymore?

um. bows i guess? butterfly wings, i really liked drawing those for a bit (i drew like 2 ever)

15. when was the last time you did art?

1 minutes ago if u count unlluka. i did draw earlier today though

16. what kind of tablet do you use? v v 

the wacom one its like. flat. no screen

17. (alternative for traditional art ) ^ ^  do you work with pencils or pens more often?

pencils my beloved

18. how long have you been drawing/ when did you officially “declare” yourself as an artist?

i considered myself an artist when i actually drew something and didn't just shade a picture. i've been drawing for probably like... 4 years now??? that's insane i swear it was 3 yesterday

19. do you like drawing short hair or longer hair more?

LONG HAIR ESPECIALLY THE KIND THAT IS SLIGHTLY WAVY

20. how often do you get art block?

not in my art block era but if i dont have an idea then yeah

21. draw one of your original characters.

not gonna lie i actually dont really like my ocs but anyways this one is nyx they're chaotic silly. remember that royal who randomly disappeared 3 years ago yeah thats them they were hanging out w some dragons this whol time

22. do you use a mac or pc to do (digital) art?

pc

23. draw your fav as a vampire

i will do this as not an ask bc i want to put actual effort into it

24. how many followers do you have? (on your art blog)

like 23 iirc but lets say 24 so it matches with the question number

25. where in your house do you usually do art?

exclusively on my bed but i drew nyx on nicos bed

26. draw urself! (it doesn’t have to be detailed)

same as 23 ive been meaning to make a meet the artist for a while

[thegreenmetblue]

STARKER FESTIVAL SUMMER BINGO : 9th square

hurt/comfort

read on ao3

im gifting this one to @itfeelssogoodmrstark because 1. gift day 🙈, 2. you’re being the sweetest with me when i get anxiety and it does help me 🥺 and 3. you always give me the motivation to write 🥰, love you sm luna ❤️❤️

tw : anxiety, heart palpitations and panic attack

My Heart Is Yours, So Hold Me Forever

My Heart Is Yours

“Boss, I have to inform you that the boy’s heart is beating faster than usual.”, FRIDAY alerts Tony while he’s working in the lab. Tony stops, the boy ?

“Fri, are you talking about Peter ?”, he asks, frowning. Why is his AI calling Peter ‘the boy’? “Affirmative, Sir.”, his creation answers. Tony tries not to start to worry.

“Is he patrolling or doing any exercices ?”, the man asks, still trying to not panic yet. Is Peter in danger ? Where he is ? He’s supposed to be at school at this hour of the day. He shouldn’t be patrolling. Which would mean he-

“He presently is locked in the bathroom of his high school, Boss. From the vitals Karen just transmitted me, it appears he’s not in danger, but his body shows several signs of panic and anxiety.”, Tony hears her voice echoes in his brain. Shit. What happened ?

In less time that Tony would have taken to even walk to his kitchen, he’s in the suit flying to Peter’s school. He tries not to let his heart race too much. Peter’s probably having a panic attack or something. He can’t allow himself to have one too. Not right now.

Tony doesn’t even care that people could see him almost running in a high school. He just cares about Peter.

When he opens the boys’s toilets’s door, the first thing he hears is small sniffles. “Pete?”, he says softly, not to scare the poor thing. Tony hears the boy’s breath stopping suddenly.

“Mr- Mr. Stark ? Is that you ?”, a small cracking voice asks. He’s been crying. Tony closes the first door and completely enters the bathroom. “Yeah it’s me kiddo.”, the man answers in an almost whisper, still trying to sound like he’s not worried.

“What… What are you- ? Why are you here ?”, Peter whines, almost like he’s gonna cry again, he’s a bit breathless. So Tony was right, was Peter having a panic attack ?

“Please I’d like better not to talk to an orange school door toilet, Pete. Get out of there.”, Tony says and as soon as he hears a small sob, he realizes he’s being a bit harsh. Shit. He has to control his damn worry.

“Im sorry, kid. Fri alerted me you were panicking. What happened Peter ?”, he finally questions, trying not to stress the boy. There’s no direct answer, but another sniffing. Tony doesn’t push it. He wants to, but he doesn’t. He gives Peter enough time to speak.

“I- I don’t really know… I.. my heart is- just beating so fast right now, and my stomach is so clenched and I feel like I can’t breathe.”, Peter explains after a few seconds, Tony hears the trembling in his voice, he wonders if it’s because of his heart beating fast or because he cried.

“It’s alright, Peter… Hey, can you get out of there for me please ?” There’s another silence, Peter’s breath is louder, shakier. Tony’s shoulders release a bit of their tension when he finally hears the ‘click’ of the door’s lock.

But the view before him almost breaks his heart. Peter’s eyes are red, his cheeks are read too, and he’s literally trembling, a hand clenching on his shirt just where his heart is at. And Tony just wants to hug him and never let go. Fuck, when did he become that protective with Peter ? He’s seen people in so much worse state. And yet, his protection instinct never were that strong.

“Sweetheart…”, he lets slip. It only adds more tears to Peter’s eyes. “Im sorry…”, the boy mumbles, looking down.

“Hey. None of that. Can you tell me what happened ?”, the man asks, still restraining himself to pull Peter close to him. Shit, Stark get a hold on yourself. But again, Peter only seems to have more and more difficulties to breathe.

“Hey, Hey, it’s alright Peter. Breathe for me please ? In and out ? You’re alright buddy, it’s alright.”. Tony’s soft voice seems to work out a bit on Peter. But the hand on his heart is still there. FRIDAY told him Peter’s heartbeats were reaching 160 bpm, which is definitely too fast for someone who’s just standing in a bathroom.

Peter opens his mouth and lets out a shaky breath before speaking. “I don’t know what happened, it- it happens lots those days and I don’t know why, im just getting really anxious and then I feel like I can’t do anything, I get- those, my heart, it’s being like this for no reasons, and it scares me. I feel like Im gonna have a heart attack.”, he explains in one shot, voice still trembling. Tony shushes him. But Peter continues. “And my tummy feels like- clenched and I hear my heart echoing in my whole body right now, it hurts my chest and my back. And-”

“Peter.”, Tony cuts him. “Please, you have to breathe.”

The boy does what Tony asked him to. He’s still trembling. Tony sighs. “Calm down okay ? You’re safe right now.”

“I know Im safe, Mr. Stark! That’s the issues, I don’t know why, and I think- I think you’re making it worse, I don’t know what triggered it, I can’t calm my heart, I feel like it’s gonna explode in my chest.”, Peter blurts out once again. The man tries not to get upset by Peter saying he’s making this worse.

And then Peter’s eyes start to water again. “Im- I think Im having a heart attack Mr. Stark, I can’t- I can’t breathe.”. Tony’s own heart clenches at that. “Shhh, Pete… You’re not having a heart attack, you can breathe, you’re doing perfect right now Sweetheart.”, this one petname was volunteer. Tony hates to admit it, but he damn knows how much those affect Peter. But the boy just seems to get more and more anxious, he’s even starting to get away from Tony, stepping back. Tony stares at the boy’s hand, still clenching hard on his shirt, like he needed to feel how fast his heart was beating.

“Pl-Please, make it stop, I- I left the class without even asking if I could, the teacher is gonna send May something, and it’s worse, you make it worse, Mr. Stark, please.”, Peter starts to full cry now, his body trembling even more. Okay, that’s it. Tony thinks.

“Pete, can I touch you ?”, he still asks, not to startle him even more. Peter doesn’t answer but he nods. “Okay turn around and take your shirt off.”, he orders, voice still soft. That gets a reaction out of Peter.

“What ?”, he says dumbly, he can’t blush because his cheeks are already red but Tony hates that he wished they weren’t just so he could see the red creeping in the boy’s cheeks at that. And then he hates himself, thinking like that when Peter clearly isn’t feeling okay.

“Do what I say, Pete, Im not gonna do anything, I promise.”, he tries to reassure the boy. God, he knows how that sounds.

Peter stays silent for a little while and then actually does take his shirt off. In front of Tony, before turning away from him. Tony tries not to stare. He’s being the worst right now., but then Peter actually turns around and facing the boy’s back makes it easier for Tony to remember why he’s doing this.

Peter lets another sobs. “My chest- it burns, I can’t calm it down, why is-”, he starts but Tony cuts him again.

“Shhh, I want you to forget your heart, Pete. You forget your heartbeats and focus on my finger, alright ? Im gonna write words in your back, baby. And the only thing you have to do is to guess the letters, and then the word, okay ? Im sure you already played this game before.”, he explains, still making effort to keep his voice soft and reassuring for Peter.

Tony knows Peter really isn’t in his normal state when he doesn’t hears the awkward response he would have said in a normal situation if Tony said he’d draw letters on his bare back. The only thing he gets is Peter nodding again and whispering a small, shaky ‘Kay.’.

Tony puts a hand on the boy’s shoulder, to ground him. And then, with his second hand, he draw a ‘W’ on Peter’s back. He sees Peter’s skin shivering but it’s the only thing he gets.

“Pete, what letter did I just draw ?”, he asks, patiently. “Huh.. I- I don’t know.”

“Shhh, it’s okay, Im gonna do it again, okay ? Please focus on my finger on your back.”, Tony whispers before doing another ‘W’ on Peter’s back. He hates how smooth his finger feels against that sweet skin.

“W ?”, Peter asks and Tony smiles, praising a soft ‘yeah that’s good, perfect.’, before drawing an ‘E’.

Peter’s body and breath are still shaky, but the latest doesn’t come out as sobs anymore. This time, he guesses on the first shot. “E.”, he says, voice still sick. Tony hums and draws a ‘B’.

“Are- Are you gonna write webs ?”, the boy asks finally. Tony hides a laugh. “Smart boy. It’s what came to my mind first. But the game is more about focusing on each letter, less about finding the word, Pete. Just focus on the way my finger feels on your back, huh ?”. The man hates how that sounds again. But it’s what Peter has to do, so he nods. He started with a short words on purpose so Peter doesn’t get overwhelmed by the task.

Tony draws a ’S’ and then leaves his hand on Peter’s back. He doesn’t ask if Peter’s heart feels less like it’s gonna explode. Peter has to focus on something else.

“Alright, Im gonna start a new word now okay ?”, Tony prevents. He thanks the lord that it’s classes hours because it’s probably safe from anyone entering the bathroom right now. God- What would it even look like ? Plus, it’d just throw Peter in an even more stressing situation.

Next, Tony goes with ‘P-E-A-C-H’, just because he can smell Peter’s peachy shampoo from there. The boy seems already more calmed down. No more sobs, breath more regular, trembling almost gone. They don’t talk about anything else but the ‘game’, Peter tells letters and words, and Tony praises.

’H-O-N-E-Y’ He’ll be damned, he doesn’t even care.

‘V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N’

Every time Tony starts a new word, he sees Peter’s back shivering. But he doesn’t care, because Peter looks better. Sounds better. He can feel how relaxed the boy starts to be with the hand that’s still on his shoulder.

’S-A-N-D-W-I-C-H’ Peter even laugh, saying that now he’s hungry.

And Tony goes for the last one, because it worked, Peter’s not panicking anymore. ’S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T’. Yes, two petnames, he’s already damned anyway.

“Sweetheart ?”, Peter says in a weak voice. And it’s the first time he asks a question. Because he’s not searching for approval. He’s asking if the sweetheart is him. Tony decides to ignore that, pretending he didn’t understand and praises him for finding the right word.

“Turn around now, Pete.”, he orders gently. Peter’s eyes aren’t frantic, his mouth isn’t twisted, he still have red cheeks, but Tony guesses it’s because of- anyway. “It… It worked, my heart feels normal again. My stomach too. I… Thank you, Mr. Stark.”, Peter says, hesitantly, looking- looking at Tony with eyes that makes him wanna protect him forever. “I… I liked the- your hand, on my back.”

And it’s too much, Tony can’t help it, without Peter even having any time to realize it, Tony pulls him close in a hug. It takes a second for Peter to wrap his arms against the man too. Tony may be hugging him too tight, he doesn’t care. He just cares about having Peter here, close, safe. They don’t say anything, they just keep hugging like it was the last time they would see each other.

And automatically, Tony’s hand finds his way to Peter’s hair. The sound Peter makes, and tries to hide by sinking his head deeper in Tony’s chest, sends butterflies into Tony’s stomach. Fucking butterflies. What is he ? 12 ?

They stay a bit more like this, Tony petting Peter’s hair, his hand snarling into the boy’s soft curls. It’s like magic. Because it appeases both of them. Peter doesn’t even bother to hide the purrs coming out of his mouth, and Tony- Tony is melting.

It’s lasting too much. Tony’s hand slides into the boy’s neck and he feels Peter’s skin shivering again. Stop., he tells himself. Stop before you cross the damn line, Stark. But fuck, the line is so blur right now.

Fuck, don’t.

With his other hand he tilts Peter’s head up, moving themself just a bit further but now they’re facing each other. Tony closes his eyes. Peter’s cheeks are so red, his eyes are just- begging him to do it. He can’t. He can’t look because he’s about to do the biggest mistake of his whole life, and it’s saying lots.

“Mr. Stark… Please ?”, Peter finally whispers, voice just demanding, his breath caressing the man’s face. Tony’s eyes open on their own.

Fuck it.

And the next thing both of them can understand is that their lips are against each other’s. Tony can’t believe he’s doing this. Peter can’t believe this is happening. But both of them just can’t fight it anymore. Peter’s body suddenly wraps around Tony’s and the man clenches his hands around Peter’s back hard. He wants Peter to be closer, he wants Peter to be safe, he wants Peter to be his, he wants Peter.

It’s sloppy, Peter doesn’t know how to kiss. Tony doesn’t mind. No, it’s a lie, Tony knows he’s Peter’s first kiss and it awakes something dangerously warm inside him.

The small choked noises Peter is doing right now are gonna stay graved in Tony’s memory forever. It’s so good, it feels like liberty and flying. For both of them. It feels like there’s a fire, and both of them are into it, but it’s not a bad burning, it’s a beautiful burning.

And when the kiss stops, for them to breathe, Tony sees the most beautiful thing in the world in front of him. And this beautiful thing is looking at him like he just hung the moon.

“I- Im- Oh my god, Im so sorry Mr. Stark, I didn’t want t-”, Peter starts, stuttering and panicking again but Tony puts a finger on his mouth, shushing him immediately.

“Shhh, we don’t want you to have another crisis don’t we ?”, he says. And then there’s a silence. A loud one. Peter looks like he’s about to cry again. Tony has a choice to make. A big one. Two solutions, only one of them is reasonable.

“Let’s move to the compound, Pete. Not sure you’d appreciate one of your teacher seeing you kissing Tony Stark.”, he finally says. Yeah, Tony isn’t really known for making reasonable choices. But when he sees the boy’s face lightning up in front of him, it really doesn’t matter anymore.

So Hold Me Forever

Peter was having a great day. It’s summertime and he, MJ And Ned went to the public swimming pool -yes, he told Tony they wanted to go there and not in the penthouse’s swimming pool-, and now they’re eating in a fast-food. Holidays just started, no more school, no more homework, no more exam, yeah, Peter is definitely having a great day.

The boy was threatening MJ to give him back his fries when he felt his heart clenching hard.

Oh no.

That must have reflected on his face because suddenly, both Ned and MJ are asking him if he’s alright.

“I- I gotta go, guys, sorry, I’ll maybe catch with you later!”, Peter hurries before literally jumping from his seat and rushing out. He knows it’s a lie. He know he definitely won’t come back. Because Tony is having a panic attack right now.

Fuck. If it wasn’t for his spidey sense, he wouldn’t even have known. Meaning that Tony told FRIDAY not to alert him.

“Fuck you Tony…”, he mumbles, already swinging his way back to the compound. In those moments, Peter wished he had an armor like Tony to go faster.

When he finally arrives, he asks FRIDAY to localise Tony and then rushes to the lab. Tony is there, sat on the floor, back against the wall, breathing loudly. That vision makes Peter wanna throw up. He knows he can’t panic, he knows he can’t touch Tony, so he gently crouches in front of him.

“Tony, hey…”, he whispers, just not to startle the man. When their eyes meet, the boy’s jaw clenches because of how scared Tony looks.

“K- Kid, Pe-Pete. Get- Get o-”, the man tries to say, but Peter shushes him. “Stop talking, Im not going anywhere Tony, Im right here.”. Peter tries to control the shakiness in his voice.

He’s mildly happy to see Tony trying to nod. But if the man doesn’t put up a fight for Peter not to see him like this, then it’s that it’s really serious.

“Okay, Tony please I want you to breathe okay ? Can you breathe ? In and out ? In. In, Tony. Breathe please…”, he murmurs despite his state. But Tony doesn’t really show any respond to what he said, he’s not even looking at him. The boy sighs, fighting the tears. Not the fucking time to act like a baby, Parker. And he crabs both of Tony’s wrist.

Tony jumps, and finally locks his eyes into Peter’s. “Pet-Peter…”

“You’re okay, you’re okay Tony. It’s just a panic attack. You know what you have to do when you got those, right ? You gotta breathe. C’mon… No. Keep staring at me, please. Okay now, now-”, but Peter stops himself to take a breath. He hates seeing the man like this. “Now you gotta copy how Im breathing okay ?”, the boy asks. He shouldn’t ask, he should order.

“Honey.”, he says instead, softly. Tony still has his eyes locked into Peter’s. Peter’s still holding both of his wrist. It’s fucking scary to feel how much Tony’s shaking. He’s glad he has his superstrength, because he’s able to maintain Tony. The petname does it because Tony nods again, making a distress sound that clenches Peter’s heart so hard.

“Okay, good Tony, c’mon, like me please.”, Peter whispers before starting to breathe loudly. Calmly, but loudly, so Tony can focus on it enough to try to copy it.

“Don’t let my eyes down, Tony. Please, you always says you love my eyes. So focus on them, please. You can stare and then make fun of me because of that yellow spot I hate okay ?”, he panics a bit. Peter hates that he’s rambling even in time like this. But he just wants Tony to focus only on his face and breathing.

“Can’t-”, Tony starts but cuts himself before speaking again. “Can’t breathe.”, he manages to say. And suddenly, Peter’s lips are on his. It’s not a kiss. It was either that, either a hand on his mouth. But it just looks a bit less frightening than if Peter was stopping Tony from breathing through his mouth.

A few seconds pass before Peter moves back to his initial position. “Keep your mouth shut, Tony.”, he gently orders. “Okay, now Imma ask you the same thing but only breathing through your nose okay ?”

Tony nods again, so Peter starts breathing loudly through his nose. He forces Tony’s hands down and sits completely in front of him. Peter doesn’t even know how he can keep his breathing calm, because he just wanna burst into tears, but he does.

The man finally tries to copy the slow breathing. At first it doesn’t work because Tony’s breathless but they keep going, in silence. Just Peter holding his wrists and keeping eyes contact.

It takes a few minutes but Tony does calm himself a bit. Not enough for it to be done, but enough for practically having the same breathing pace as Peter.

So that’s a step done. Peter feels a bit calmer already. Having Tony like that in front of him is pretty scary. And he’s also always scared he won’t be able to help him. The first time Tony had a panic attack, Peter was so lost he had to call Rhodey.

A few seconds go by, still in a loud-breathing-silence and then Peter gets up. Tony follows his eyes up. “What… What are you doing kid ?”, kid. Tony doesn’t really call him like that anymore -expect for a few times in bed because c’mon that’s kinky-. If he does right now, it’s because he’s still not completely aware of the situation, still panicking. The boy gives him his hand. Tony grabs it without questioning it. And Peter pulls him up, again thanks to his superstrength. “I need you up for this.”, Peter fakes chuckles. He wants his boyfriend to know it’s okay. All of this. “It’s okay.”

And then Tony is up, legs still shaking a bit. “Friday, how’s Tony’s heart doing please ?”, he asks to the AI. “Still going faster than it should for its own good.”, that makes the boy nods.

Peter stares at him and remembers Tony actually asked him for touching permissions when he had heart palpitations. “Are you okay for me to touch you Tony ?”, he questions with a soft smile. “Yeah I am, Pete…”, the man answers, voice half breathless, half joking. And suddenly Peter’s hugging Tony. Hard. Both of their chests are glued together.

Peter hears Tony’s air stops before coming back more as a sigh. He wonders if it’s a good sign. He isn’t even sure if what he’s doing right now is helpful or no. But technically that should work.

Tony passes a hand on the boy’s neck, stroking gently the beginning of his soft curls. Peter shivers. That’s perfect. His own heart needs to be calm for this, Tony is making it calm. Because feeling the man’s one stammering against his chest definitely doesn’t help.

“Im not… Im not sure why the hug, but it does feel good, Pete”, Tony chuckles softly. He tries to act like it’s done. Peter knows it’s not. Their body are clenched against each other, he can feel the trembling everywhere.

“It’s not just a hug, we have to stay like that, okay ? It… It helps.”, Peter mumbles, not so sure he wants to explain to Tony. “What helps ? Hug ? Love ? Im.. Im sure it does, P-Pete, you did good there.”, the man tries to praises him. Peter clenches his teeth. It’s him who should praise Tony for being able to follow what Peter asked.

“You did good actually Tony. Not me. And it’s… not about hug or love. It’s about… about the fact that when two people hug, their hearts are against each other, the skin is the only barrier. And the human heart has this thing you know ? To copy beats. Like with music, when there’s loud beats, the heart tends to- anyway. What I mean is that, your heart is beating really fast right now, too fast. And mine is okay. So when we hug, like this, both of our hearts will try to copy each other’s beat. So yours should go back to a normal pace more quickly than if we just waited for it to. And it’s also nicer. T- To hug, I mean. Than to like… just wait.”, Peter finishes and wants to slaps himself for not being able to not ramble. He knows his cheeks are red and hates that.

But when his eyes go up to meet Tony’s, all he can read here is love. “Sweetheart…”, Tony whispers. But he doesn’t add anything else. However he kisses the top of Peter’s head. Again, it’s gestures that appease both of them.

“Let’s stay like this, then. So your heart can-”, the boy starts but gets cuts by Tony. “Yeah staying like that sounds perfect to me, Honey.”

So they stay. Both of them wouldn’t have any idea of how many time they stayed like this, holding each other, waiting for Tony’s heart to beat at a normal pace again. It seems like forever and just- out of time at the same time. Slowly, their position shifts a bit. Peter watches carefully that both of their hearts are still perfectly against each other, but he lets his head fall against Tony’s shoulder. Tony has his leaned on Peter’s. The man’s hands are on Peter’s hair and the boy’s ones are slowly caressing his back.

It’s finally FRIDAY’s voice who interrupt them. “Boss, your heartbeats seem to have found a slow pace again.”, she says, making them jump at the same time, stirring them out of that headspace they both went to.

Peter steps back a bit and study Tony’s face. There’s no visible signs of panic anymore. “How are you feeling ?”, he can’t help but ask. “Could be better, but could have been way worse if you haven’t showed, Pete.”, Tony smiles, creating butterflies in Peter’s stomach. “Thank you, my babyboy.”, the man adds with a smile, a fondly smile. Peter opens his mouth but nothing goes out. Tony takes his hand and brings them to the couch.

It’s easy. It’s easy to forget what just happened when Tony brings them close, under a pile of blankets on the couch. But Peter doesn’t.

“Tony… What… What happened ? Why did you… What triggered the panic attack ?”, he finally asks. Because he wants to know. Because he worries. Because he loves him. And he wants Tony to share everything with him. The good and the bad. Tony’s first silent answer is to tighten his grip around the boy’s body. Not in a bad way, more in an affectionate way. Peter wants to say ‘You don’t have to tell me.’, not to pressure Tony into saying anything, but he needs to know.

“Let’s say I… St- Rogers sent me a letter.”, Tony tells finally. Without adding anything else. He doesn’t have to. He doesn’t want to either. And that’s where Peter won’t cross the line. He got his answer. He sees Tony’s gaze wandering away and immediately comes up with something to bring him back. “Did you read it ?”, Peter questions, to tell Tony he doesn’t have to explain more. Because Peter knows. Peter knows what happened after his first battle with and against the team. And he knows how it fucked Tony up, he saw how it fucked Tony up.

“No.”, short answer. Message received.

“Okay… Thank you for telling me Tony.”, Peter practically purrs against him, showing that now they can both move on from that. But Tony apparently doesn’t catch it. “Peter, Im sorry you ha-”

“Don’t.”, Peter cuts him almost harshly. Tony shoots him a look. “Don’t say you’re sorry. I hated seeing you like that. But I would have hated it so much more if I wouldn’t have been able to help you Tony. Let me help. I wanna share those things with you. Not just the soft, not just the huh.. sexy stuff, but also this. I don’t want you to hide this part of you from me, Tony. I.. I love you. You. Not you minus your… this. You, entirely.”, Peter almost whines, fighting back the tears again. He expected Tony to shush him orally, but no. Tony leans on and kisses him.

It’s a real kiss this time, not like the one Peter did just to make Tony breathe through his nose. Peter kisses him back. It’s slow, it’s loving, just the kind of kisses both of them need right now. Peter feels so good. When Tony breaks the kiss, still staring at Peter, the smile he got makes the boy wanna bury his head against his chest. “I love you too, Petey Pie. My smart boy…”, he whispers before giving Peter another small smack on his lips.

Then they both go back to lying down, cuddled against each other under the blankets. There’s a comfortable silence. But Peter breaks it again. “If there’s something you should feel sorry about is not alerting me when this happened, Tony. Please… Promise me you will next time. Please.”, he mumbles again, hiding his head in one of the blankets.

The boy hears Tony sighing, a silence, and then “Sorry. Im gonna let you know from now on… Promise, kiddo.”. Peter only raises his head up and kisses Tony’s cheeks.

“How did you know ?”

Shit.

“How did I know what ?”, he tries, dumbly.

“How did you know I was having a panic attack ?”, Tony clarifies. Peter didn’t need him too. He just, feels so stupid for this. It’s like, proving Tony how much everything in him just loves him.

The boy lowers his head down and murmurs a faint “It’s… It’s a huh… spidey sense thing. I kinda can… feel when you… when you’re not okay or stuff.”. Admitting it makes his cheeks turn red again.

But Tony only cups his cheek with his warm hand, raising Peter’s head again so he can look at Tony’s eyes. “Baby… You have no idea what knowing that just did to me. I love you, Peter. My heart is yours.”, the man says in all honesty, feeling way too many emotions at once.

Hearing that almost makes Peter cries. He’s happy. He’s in love. “So hold me forever.”, he whispers before Tony just surrounds him with his own warm body and blankets.

🌙

for @starkerfestivals 😋💖 hope yall enjoyed it, this one is somehow personal because i had the idea to write it after a period where i had a lot of heart palpitations

[shoichee]

Hey luv! I just got my braces off and I don’t know if I like myself with or without them cause yah girl has ✨confidence issues✨ so can you do the GoM + Kagami and Teppei thanks my savior

OH, rn i have braces too (although they’re ceramic and harder to see) but I definitely can understand the apprehension when you have them taken off after for so long;; 

the amount of characters requested actually exceed the rules, but since i’ve taken a while to get to your request, i’ll still do them but they will be shorter^^ THANK YOU FOR STICKING BY THIS BLOG AND READING MY STUFF <3

[Headcanons]

Kuroko Tetsuya

right away, he notices that something was amiss with you, and asks upfront if anything was bothering you

you replied hesitantly, but while you talked you held up a hand in front of your mouth:

“Um… I don’t know if I like how I look right now…”

Kuroko stares at your nervous eyes and then looks down to your hand in front of your mouth before asking why

“Just got my braces off, and I feel a bit… weird without them? I feel like I look strange without them…”

“Do you mind if I see you?” he asks, softening his eyes at you

“W-Well… you’re not someone to judge, I know, but don’t… laugh or anything.”

“I won’t, (y/n)-san.”

he slowly brings your hand down and you slowly smile to reveal your teeth to him, and he gives you the purest smile… and that catches you off guard so badly like… YOUR TEETH GOT HIM TO SMILE LIKE THAT??? DAMN, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SMILE EVERY SECOND TO SEE SUCH A TREASURE—

“(y/n)-san, I think you look wonderful,” he muses, bringing your same hand that was in front of your mouth into his own hand with a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure everyone who sees you will think the same.”

ah Kuroko, the individual who has a knack in comforting people with his genuity (example: see Momoi)

whenever you do have those moments of self-consciousness again, he’s always there to calmly reassure you otherwise

Kise Ryouta

IMMEDIATELY sees your teeth when you talk, and freaks out like a little kid on Christmas

“(y/n)-cchi! (y/n)-cchi!!” he hoots around, pointing at his own teeth. “You got your braces off today! You look amazing!”

when you hesitate and tell him that you’re not so sure about yourself without your braces, he pinches your cheek and gives a little dramatic huff

“But (y/n)-cchi…! Come onnnn, trust me!” he says, giving a signature pout, and you laugh at his antics

“Ohhh, do that again! Do that again!” (he craves for your laughs, and he wants more)

he definitely tries to get you to smile and laugh to get you more comfortable with your braceless teeth

whether you have braces or not, he doesn’t mind so much because what he really cares about is your smile, and if he sees your teeth showing, braces or without, it means that he knows he’s doing a good job in making you comfortable and happy

while he showers you in praises every single moment, when you feel really down, he takes an extra measure or two to cuddle you gently while being much softer in delivering those compliments

always gives a daily compliment to give you a serotonin boost

Midorima Shintarou

he’s confused… why would you be upset that you got your braces off? you looked great before and even now, so does the fact of braces really change your perception of your appearance that much?

he won’t make any comment on your new appearance unless you bring it up to him and ask for his opinion/reassurance

he’s just happy for you that you have another milestone of your life, and not to mention, braces generally promote better oral health and fix misaligned bites

“Hm? What do I think of how you look? D-Don’t be ridiculous… What am I supposed to say?”

“Well, I just… think I look a little odd… I kind of… want my braces back.”

“You know you can’t do that, nanodayo,” he sighs. “So much money, effort, and care were invested into your teeth for many years. You did the most you could to take care of them and achieved the goal you set out for yourself when you first got braces, correct? That isn’t something to be ashamed of, nanodayo.”

despite his lecturing, his words do have some merit, and Midorima’s words were comforting in his own way

“But Midorima, um… sorry for annoying you,” you say, giving a chagrined smile

Midorima takes a good look at your exposed teeth for the first time and widens his eyes in a fluster before turning his eyes back to his astrology book

“I-I-It’s nothing.”

bonus: he’s definitely that one fussy parent who forces you to wear your retainers religiously, NO EXCUSES—he doesn’t want the whole process to be all for naught just because you got lazy in wearing a simple metal thing

Aomine Daiki

idiot #1

“Whoa, your teeth look different,” is something he would say tactlessly

immediately, you slapped your hands over your mouth at his words

forgive him, he usually says what’s on his mind with no filter and consideration

by then, he’d realized that the tone of his words was poorly delivered and would try to correct himself before he says anything more to dig himself a deeper grave

“Er, sorry, what I mean is… I didn’t know you were gonna have them off today…”

that actually made you more self-conscious and you try to flee from the scene

“W-Wait, hey!”

insert Aomine clumsily explaining that he didn’t mean to be tactless with his words and that he just meant that he was surprised in a good way

definitely shows you a lot more wholesome affection in addition to his usual PDA, but you wonder what he thought about your new “appearance,” so to speak

“What kinda question is that?” he scoffs. “You’re still hot and always will be.”

if there’s one sure benefit to his blunt words, it’s that his straightforwardness can easily dispel all your doubts and clear up any misunderstandings in one go

if you’re still doubtful about yourself, he’ll gladly resort to action to prove his point… perhaps makeout sessions with him would become a lot more exploratory and… just putting it out there, but we will leave this up to your imagination

anywho, he’s not afraid to give you more direct kisses to try to show you that he doesn’t care about your teeth and your lack of braces

definitely would tell out-of-pocket jokes and laugh more to get you to grow comfortable; after all, smiling is contagious right? who can resist Aomine’s smile???

if someone tried to make you uncomfortable by drawing everyone’s attention nearby in how you got your braces off, whether intentional or not, he’s scaring them away, no questions asked and he’s taking you away from the scene

Murasakibara Atsushi

“Oh…” he says with his usual drawl. “You got them off, Chibi-chin?”

it was a usual day with him tucking his own head into his arms to nap on the table when you walked up to him apprehensively, and he immediately notices your presence but lazily picks up his head to look at you when he noticed

“Er… yeah…”

he slightly tilts his head to the side like an inquisitive child to silently question what was wrong

“It’s nothing really! Just feeling tired… not in the talkative mood today.” as you said this, he noticed that you were more… tight-lipped, speaking in a quieter manner as if you were trying not to show your teeth as much as possible

he beckons a languid hand over and you reluctantly sit by his side, your face still slightly turned away

you thought he was just going to go back to sleep like he always does, but imagine your surprise when he easily picks you up from the side and placed you on his lap, face-to-face

Murasakibara then pulls your cheeks apart, revealing your pearly whites to him

“H-H-Hey!! Lert… gorw!”

“Don’t wanna.”

“I’m… serwious!”

he stares at you impassively for a few moments before he suddenly lets your cheeks go and yawns

“... you look fine, Chibi-chin,” he mumbles, and he sets you off his lap before getting up with a stretch. “Besides, now that you don’t have braces anymore, you can finally eat whatever you want right…?”

“I… guess I can…”

and he’s already reaching for your hand to tug you to the nearest takeout with a slight shine of excitement in his dark pupils

“Chibi-chin, we can finally eat those candy apples together you’ve always craved for, lots and lots…”

he’s very fixated on you eating with your braceless teeth for the next few weeks with a small smile on his face, because you enjoying the food you eat are some of the simplest joys he loves when he’s with you (and you hadn’t been able to do that because your braces forbidden you from eating a list of things)

definitely drags you out for food outings a lot more for the next few weeks

he tries his best in trying to make you not think about your teeth and your self-consciousness about them in his roundabout way (note: see his cheek pulling, distracting you with your favorite snacks, etc.)

he’s not someone to make any deal out of it because worrying over such a trivial thing is annoying to him, but nonetheless he certainly wants to make sure that nothing is bothering you because that’s the greatest inconvenience (since he doesn’t like to see you in such a state)… you being upset and worried makes him upset and worried, after all

Akashi Seijuro

he immediately understands that feeling of self-doubt/self-consciousness, but nonetheless he compliments you to let you know that he truly finds you desirable/beautiful inside and out

still, words alone sometimes don’t convince you and even when he gives physical affection to comfort you, there’s still that nagging feeling of how you felt about your teeth

and he’s totally okay with that, and he knows that feeling very well himself (regarding having inner voices that taunt him)

rather than constantly hammering in compliments because he knows that at some point they’d feel more disingenuous the more he says them, he offers you to help overcome the self-consciousness on your own terms

Akashi offers the suggestion of wearing face masks (not necessarily the surgical ones, but the cute/plain colored masks you’d see around!) if you have certain days where you feel low about your braceless teeth

he’d be quite sly and teasing all the while; whenever you wear your cute mask for the day, he’d be a lot more affectionate with the PDA and give pecks on your lips… but the mask is always in the way, preventing you from feeling actual contact with his own lips

he can tell you’d definitely get pouty when you don’t really feel those kisses and he simply laughs and walks on

“You…! I know you only try to kiss me when I have the mask on! Don’t play dumb with me!”

“Hm? Is it really a crime for me to show physical affection to the person I love?”

he eventually does help you coax you out and become comfortable, and your face masks would eventually be stored away in a drawer

he rewards you for being strong in overcoming your own doubts:

“To celebrate your strength in overcoming a huge milestone, what would you like your reward to be?”

“For starters, give me back all those kisses you tried to give me throughout all the times I wore a mask!”

“Of course,” he chuckles, moving closer to your lips. “How could I ever resist you when you’re this stunning?”

Kagami Taiga

idiot #2 (see idiot #1)

unlike idiot #1, idiot #2 doesn’t notice the change on your teeth, at all

he doesn’t know why you’re fidgeting around or acting really, really strange… were you hungry? upset at him for something he didn’t realize he did wrong?

so after a few days after you got your braces off, he finally asks:

“Is there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”

poor guy doesn’t know if he was at fault or if he was missing something, and he physically holds his head to try to recall EVERYTHING for the past week

you reassure him that it wasn’t anything like that, but you still had furrowed brows and you were very careful in how you were talking

Kagami thinks you haven’t eaten and offers to make dinner, but eating in front of him for some reason really didn’t sound like a good idea to you so you declined

you’ll eventually tell him that you just felt a bit self-conscious after your braces got taken off

“Huh?”

he stares at your teeth for a very long time, and you immediately regret it, not wanting to draw his attention to you like that

he snaps out of his intense daze and immediately apologizes for making you uncomfortable

“M-My bad… I just didn’t notice until you told me.”

“Really?” you ask, slightly relieved that the change wasn’t as drastic as you thought it would be

“Er, yeah…” he mumbles, scratching his cheek, “you look good, by the way…” but by the time he finished his compliment, it came out as a cough

you can only laugh in relief, knowing that everything he says is always earnest and sincere

Kiyoshi Teppei

definitely noticed that your braces were off, but pretends to not notice until you bring it up yourself because he’s quite sharp and in tune with other people’s emotions

so he treats you like he always does, being the sweet “airhead” that he is, and he waits until you bring it up yourself (because he knows how self-conscious you were about your lack of braces)

you yourself are confused… like… was Teppei actually dense? was your whole inner dilemma not a big deal like your mind thought it would be?

you tug on his sleeve one day and ask him if he noticed your teeth, pointing to them all the while

and he immediately chastises himself (“silly me”) for not noticing, and he tells you that you were beautiful either way, and whether you had braces or not didn’t change that inherent fact (and that was his “reason” for not noticing to reassure you)

all while giving his easy going chuckles and ruffling your hair

laughs at your shyness at his words, not because it’s funny or anything but he truly finds you adorable

once you get comfortable without giving a second thought about your braces gone, he just drops the truth bomb on you so casually like:

“Ahhhh (y/n)-san,” he sighs in nostalgia. “You were really cute when you were so shy about getting them off, you know that?”

“Now wait a second…”

“Hm?”

“What did you say?”

“That you’re really cute.”

“No, no, the other part.”

“Whenever you get shy.”

“That is not what I mean and you know that—”

“Aww, you’re being really cute right now, (y/n)-san. Don’t tempt me to carry you around when I just finished with my physical therapy.”

[antiloreolympus]

5 Anti LO Asks

1. I just saw some post about body diversity in Lo and how it is grat and that they loving it, and it was just like 5 background characters that said only one sentence.

2. I feel like a lot of the couples are kinda not interesting no matter how much drama Smyth puts into them.

HXP gross, cheating, boss and employee, awkward for the work place, too many people are involved, and still isn’t grabbing it for me. Like I know other people root for them, but I don’t, it’s hard to root for a dumpster fire.

Hera and Zesus. The constant cheating was expected, and the bad communication, but Echo doesn’t spice it up or anything I would have been fine if Echo was a friend that shit talked Zeus with Hera (I know that’s not the story but still does Rachel care about accuracy? No) even though Zeus cheats we do get to see him actually care, BUT Idk Hera doesn’t draw me in, like they both suck, but Zeus is a bit more complex for me (with the bad husband, the cheating but still caring for Hera and being jealous)

Eros and Pysch. The beginning was interesting even knowing the myth, it was getting just a little stale and then bam he finds out on accident and I lost interest. Like they talked too much about HXP too much to feel like their own thing later on and now that he didn’t complete the test right like what now. Is Aphrodite gonna get in trouble or are we gonna forget? Idk they lost their spark for me.

Minthe and Hades. Toxic relationship that needed more time to expand explanation. Like yeah we know they are/were together but like that backstory wasn’t much. Sorry #minthedeservesmorescreentime.

Daphne abs Thanos are interesting and I can actually see why both like each other, where they started and I wanna know what’s gonna happen next for them. Like they have the life and death balance that HXP wishes even. And even tho Daphne isn’t a god, she told Apollo she was gonna ruin him, she bit him, she was awesome! And it was believable too since she’s an athletic influencer. Thanos has an interesting plot line that will probably be a problem for them later but I’m excited. Like both characters affect the plot outside of their relationship AND are interesting

Aphrodite and Ares feels like RS dropped the ball with them. Why is Ares flirting with Persephone? Sure they’re open but like idk Persephone doesn’t seem like a good fit for him at all. They were set up interestingly since we knew Aphrodite was looking for him, but that one little hug scene did no justice for either character. Like we hardly see them interact positively towards each other.

Crack ship Minthe and Hecate would have loved to see! My crack fic before I think a lot of season two was out was After Minthr parties Thetis and leaves her, she doesn’t snitch on Persephone and just tells Thetis to back off, returns to work all humbled out and Hecate and her work together on just personal shit and work stuff. Minthe asks Hecate stuff on how to get over Hades and how to be better and that’s when we learn Hecate always loved Minthe’s chaos. But yeah that didn’t happen. When I saw some crack headcanon s about those two I was like “didn’t know I needed this till now”. (I was hoping Minthe was gonna be like Petra from Jane the Virgin, starts out bad, doesn’t like the main character for most of the time but still gets a happy ending)

3. i like how LO fanss defend it like "well its no more problematic than the myth its based off of!" which like sure, thats an argument to make, but idk, the original myth didnt have persephone be nearly underage with no experience so hades can take advantage of it, demonizing several mother figures for the sake of a guy, a huge class divide thats frames the rich and powerful as the oppressed to the poor, and you know, ACTUAL SLAVERY. like cmon, it's honestly worse than the OG myth in most ways.

4. youd think if hades is self aware enough to know he was the wrong party to get into a relationship with minthe in the first place, that he'd at least be a little concerned over minthe being stuck as a plant, especially when persephone almost dropped her which would have killed her. the two of them just left her alone in a dark, empty room while they went to dance and goof off, not a care in the world. he seems more relived she's out of his hair now for him to hook up w/ his intern. its so gross.

5. I hope Demeter is pissed at her daughter for just like EVERYTHING. Taking a step back, Persephone is having a grand ol time at Hades’ place for god knows how long while her mother is worried about their situation and then gets kidnapped and Persephone makes 0 effort to try and get in contact with her or anything (hey hectare you saw my mom laying low as a bird, but any chance can you try and find her again and maybe we can arrange something since the literal god of gods is out for our blood so maybe let’s get the story straight)

Demeter going against her own comfort and parenting beliefs to left Persephone like with Artemis. It’s not Persphones fault that Apollo happened, BUT Demeter probably let Persephone live there after the murders to settle some stuff out and then 1 month of living there or so Persephone runs away to live in a motel and then has a power control issue. Let’s pretend the power control issue didn’t happen yet, what the hell was she gonna tell her mother? “Hey mom Artemis’ brother makes me uncomfortable so you can find me at this motel IN THE UNDERWORLD NEAR HADES YEAH THE GUY I FIND PLEASANT LOOKING” I know Demeter is suppose to look like an over the top mom, but yeah how was that suppose to go down? If she found out her daughter was staying with hades?

Getting an internship with Hades/underworld and not telling her mom. Idk if Hera made it a secret, but again Demeter would probably want to know that stuff being strict as she is, she probably would want Persephone to excel at a job BUT maybe not with Hades idk I forget, again it just shows there no trust between either mother nor daughter. Hera also sucks for testing her friends daughter with out actually having the intention to help perpshone and test if Hades is actually okay.

After everything Demeters gonna be like “this is why I wanted you to commute, I wouldn’t have been shoved in a bird cage if you you just have just commuted to school.”

Like I know persphone has to go out and make her own mistakes, but a lot of it boils down to Persphone was a brat. She demanded she leaves and then later killed some people got her way and then went behind her back and didn’t even want to stay in Olympus. Demeter isn’t blameless in this situation but Persephone is a murderer, glorified side chick, and I just feel that all of Demeter’s worse nightmares about her daughter leaving all happened and worse 

[razorblade180]

Interdimensional Moms: part 1

Intro <-

Yang:So how we doin this? Drawing straws or... well we actually don’t have straws here so-

Weiss:It’s obvious that you wanna go first.

Blake:Extremely obvious.

Ruby:All over your face.

Yang:Hey now, don’t call me out like that! We all have so much to sort out here. I don’t even know where to begin. Differences could start and stop anywhere for all we really know.

Blake:From what it seems, Beacon itself would have one or two minor changes, but the real changes start after the fall. At least, for you three that is.

Weiss:You saying you’re different?

Blake:Unless you three started going on dates with Jaune at Beacon, then yes, I’m different.

RWY:(They’ve been together that long!?)

Yang:Okay, starting from Beacon...nothing really stands out too much. Jaune and I were just friends. *cringes* Back then, a certain faunus caught my eye.

Blake:Ah...right. I guess that tracks in practically every universe.

RW:Oh yeah it does. You two are joined at the hip.

Yang:Haha, really? Glad to hear it. My Blake and I are best buds! Remnant has never seen such a dynamic duo! Can’t say it didn’t take a lot of time effort after a rough patch. We actually dated in my world.

Blake:Same.

Yang:What!? How long?

Blake:I don’t know, it was pretty on again off again.

Yang:Well for me it was after Haven. Both of us had gotten pretty serious. All the growing we’ve done together and apart had brought us closer. However, Adam unintentionally put a wedge between us. His attempt to change and the problems that came with it were-

Yang stopped midway and saw the confused faces of her otherworldly teammates. They were shocked, confused even. Especially Blake, who looked the most shocked of all.

Yang:Umm did I say something odd?

Blake:Adam, he...isn’t dead?

Yang:Oh, well I guess that’s the start of the major changes then. Blake and I fought Adam at Argus. Stabbed him through the chest and watched him fall down rocks into a river.

Ruby:That lines you with my world. Dude died that day. Like any normal person should.

Yang:Well Adam is anything but fucking normal. Man has the craziest luck. A young women, the winter maiden in fact, she saved his life. She’s not exactly normal either. The maiden, Jacquelyn, ended up sticking by him to see if she could change his ways. This naturally meant we’d run into them again. And that’s how things fell apart.

Blake:What do you mean?

Yang:You were fully committed to seeing if Adam could actually change. I wasn’t, so we constantly butted heads in any situation involving him. Then we would fight about things that had nothing to do with at all. Eventually, we broke it off. We remained on decent terms but I was pretty heartbroken about the disconnect. Enter our lovable blonde idiot. Jaune did everything in his power to cheer me up.

Weiss:Sounds like him. Always such a bleeding heart. That boy just can’t help himself. Let me guess, his kindness and concern made you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Yang:Hehe, guilty. It was more of his willingness to laugh at my puns. Jaune’s always been interesting to talk to. He tries to act cool and calm even though he’s terrible at it, then comes clean right after. Before I knew it I was telling him things I hadn’t talked about with people before. I could tell he looked at me like most guys do, but also genuinely wanted to listen to me. Talk about playing unfair; he got defenseless. Suddenly I was smiling again. Anytime with him was time well spent. Then one day, I kissed him.

Ruby:Happily ever after?

Yang:Not even close! Hahaha!

Weiss:Why do you sound proud?

Yang:It’s funny looking back at it to a certain degree. Gods, I was such a brat. More than a few fights are on me. Between Blake, Raven, and other experiences, my insecurities flared up in ugly ways over nothing. It even got us to break up too. I was officially done with dating. My Ruby was out in an uncomfortable position.

Ruby:I bet! I’d never want you two fighting. Especially in my world. Picking between the person I love and my sister!? I don’t know what will happen.

Yang:I kinda do. *sets up* You’d start dating Jaune because you’ve looked at him since Beacon. The two of you would confide in each other and share a special kind of love, but it would be bittersweet. All because your sister still pines for him and never met to make him leave, and Jaune never says it, but he hates how things fell apart. He’s faithful to you and would never do you wrong, a guy to truly cherish. So... you let him go. Watch him walk back to your sister like you asked, because my happiness was worth that much to you.

Ruby:....

Yang: In my world at least. Honestly it’s still the most amazing thing I’ve seen you do. We must’ve cried over that conversation for hours. I felt so guilty and you only smiled, hugging me tight. Jaune and I had a few more stumbles. Nothing serious though. Eventually we moved in together when the world was saved. You and Oscar got together officially which made me happy. Even made our weddings a competition of who’d make dad bawl his eyes out the most. You won by the way; Raven came back into our family and into dad’s arms. Last but not least I had a baby. Yujin Xiao Long, my fucking pride and joy from above.

Weiss:Wow, that’s a lot.

Blake:What am I doing? Did I marry Sun?

Yang:Yep. You and blondes Blake, I tell ya.

Weiss:Hold the phone! Who am I with!?

Yang:Pretty sure you’re technically single. Buuuut, Neo and your have gotten pretty friendly from what I managed to interrogate out of you.

Weiss:That’s, highly unexpected. For a number of reasons.

Yang:Better believe it. Besides Cinder, a few crazies, and Salem, a few people made something of themselves. Dying sucks after all.

Ruby:You have a dead Cinder?

WBY: You don’t?

Ruby:*crosses arms* Hmph, I’ll wait my turn. Yang, you said you’re the only mother from our team. If Blake and I have been married for quite some time then what, we don’t want kids?

The joyful sunshine from Yang slipped into grayer skies. Her smile faded and it increasingly got harder to look at this Ruby without thinking of her own.

Yang:Are you sure that’s something you wanna know? I’ll tell you, but I didn’t want to bring down the mood with the problems where I from.

Blake:Problems? How big of a problem.

Yang:The biggest we’ve faced. It’s...a lot.

Ruby:Well we’ve listened this far. *takes hand* Lay it on us.

Yang:Pfft, oh boy. So...umm...another secret war came up. One that caused us to leave our friends and family for over a decade.

Weiss:A decade!?

Blake:What gets worse after Salem!? Who tries anything after a grimm queen!?

Yang:So a majority of Remnant was still unaware of her, but a fight like that can only be kept under wraps so tightly. Plenty of people still learned fractions of the truth. A few of those people weren’t exactly nice guys. They idolized her efforts and became her followers that wanted to keep her will alive, starting with taking revenge on the people who defeated her. We were so unaware. So caught up in normalcy. They ambushed us, and I mean everyone. We...we didn’t come out unscathed. Ren was crippled badly. Weiss, you almost your brother. Jaune’s family got hit but thankfully lived. The real casualties were aimed to hurt Ruby.

Ruby:Oh, of course. S-So, either you’re about to say I had no time to start a family, or...

Yang:...

Yang:When I tell you the look you made when you learned what happened to Oscar, to Qrow... that’s the moment it felt like my little sister left forever. Till this day you don’t smile like you used to. Very recently, now that it’s finally over, you’ve started looking better, but those ten years were hell. We choose to go out and fight again, avoiding contact with family. I haven’t had a real opportunity to be in my daughters life.

Ruby:How old is she?

Yang:Sixteen soon. Left her when she was four so you know. *tearing up* I missed everything. Just about anyways. Ironically it was Raven and Adam that helped her through the years with Jaune and Dad. Eventually we came back and ooohh boy was Yujin not thrilled in the slightest. Hehehe. Her right hook is really strong. I only had about a week with her before things got complicated again. *wipes eyes* But it’s okay. We left on good term. Something I definitely don’t feel like I deserve.

Blake:I can’t believe a thing like that would be possible.

Yang:Cults are a huge problem in Remnant now. You’re definitely aware of that. You actually oversee a little group from the shadows to deal with them in secret. An idea you got from experience. Adam works for you and everything. Hate to admit, but he’s become the guy you wanted him to be. Even has a family. I’m grateful to him. He personally kept my girl safe.

Blake:To think I’d hear you say that. Now I know this isn’t my world.

Yang:Don’t get me wrong, I still will hit him if given the chance. My life hasn’t been charmed and sacrifices too great were happening way too many times but it finally has gotten to a point where everyone feels like we’re taking steps towards a better future.

Weiss:Moving forward?

Yang:Yes, I was trying to avoid the phrase but yes Weiss, we’re moving forward. Still... *looks at Ruby*....

Ruby:W-What?

Yang:It’s unreal seeing you like this. My Ruby has become so strong and endured but hasn’t really picked herself up completely. All her tragedy stemmed from the loss of Oscar and Qrow; her last talk with Oscar was fight about kids too. That’s the entire reason she went off alone in the first place. Looking at you I can’t help but question my own choices. If...I just let her stay with Jaune, then maybe-

Ruby:Nope.

Yang:Huh?

Ruby:Look, if I know anything about your world, then it’s gonna be me and I can tell you without a doubt your Ruby doesn’t blame or would consider her own happiness without you. She loved you enough to take the chance to find love again. You really think there’s anything you could’ve done differently at that point. That girl is as stubborn as they come! *smiles* So buck up cowgirl. You deserve it.

A sense of warmth came over Yang as she heard those words. This other Ruby smiled at her with the same love as her own; completely caring about Yang’s feeling before her own. Yang felt so...unburdened. She couldn’t help but cry a little, laughing softly as she did. Who would’ve thought love could transcend worlds? It was so vindicating, therapeutic even.

Yang:Ruby, you’re something else entirely, you know that?

Ruby:It’s my curse. All I ever wanted was normal knees but the world said “no, special eyes!”

Yang:Well I guess I should thank the world then?

Weiss:You said your Ruby is getting better? That’s good. Still, it must be pretty weird looking at Jaune. Can’t imagine how lonely it must feel losing a love twice.

Blake:It never numbs.

Yang:Geez you two, lighten up. We can’t all be depressed. Ruby also didn’t lose Jaune. Actually....there may or may not have been an interesting...arrangement for a brief period of time.

Ruby:Ehhh what?

Yang:Hehehe well, hahaha, ummmm a decade is a very long time without feeling any kind of pleasure in a bleak situation. And you know me, I have to share things with you all my life.

Ruby:OH MY GOD!!!

Blake:*grinning* Yooooo! You loaned out Jaune!?

Weiss:That’s....accurate; in a lot of ways.

Ruby:That’s so scandalous! How could you!?

Yang:I didn’t force it! I gave the option, you said no, then you changed your mind because things got real stressful. Like come on, a decade of death and loneliness.

Ruby:Sigh...yeah. I can see it. Still, it’s so filthy. He’s a married man. What, so I’d just look at you and say “Yang I’m gonna sleep with Jaune, don’t come in the room.”

Yang:....

Ruby:What?

Yang:....Nothing.

Ruby:Bullshit! What is it!?

Yang:*scratches head* Well, I was lonely too, and a week is only so long-

Weiss:Oh so it was a group thing!!?

Ruby:WHAT!?

Yang:Only sometimes!

Ruby:SOMETIMES!?

Blake:HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! THAT IS AMAZING!

Ruby:Why are you laughing!?

Blake:Because that’s just so extreme, and not, all at the same time. I could totally see that happening.

Weiss:Same. Dang, Jaune slept with sisters. That’s dangerously close to being like your dad.

Ruby:That’s different!

Blake:Is it though?

Yang:Eh, I don’t see the problem. We’re all grown and make choices. Plus I’m the one who guided you through awkward teenage changes. It not like we didn’t share a room for years.

Ruby:That doesn’t make it okay.

Yang:Eh debatable.

Ruby:*red* It isn’t though! How could I do something so bold!? So taboo!?

Weiss:It isn’t like you’re the one who did it. Just a version of you.

Ruby:Not better!

Yang:Awwww it’s okay Ruby. Let’s hug it out. Hehehe *opens arms*

Ruby:Don’t touch me!

Weiss and Blake laugh until their sides hurt as Ruby tries escaping the bear hug that terrorized her. Yang’s world found interesting for sure. Weiss finally decides to help Ruby out.

Weiss:Got a picture of Yujin?

Yang’s eyes lit up and pulled out her scroll. Her team huddled around her and collectively cooed like that parents they are at the sight of a blonde young girl with gorgeous blue eyes with a black combat school graduation cap and gown and a certificate proudly raised up high. If it wasn’t for those eyes and shoulders length hair, they might’ve mistaken her for Yang.

Yang:She’s going to Beacon early because she’s fucking awesome like her mom.

Ruby:I think you mean her aunt?

Yang:I know what I said.

Weiss:I bet she’s just as hardheaded.

Blake:What do you think your kid is up to right now?

Yang: Well...*smiles*

xxxx

The girl in question sat at a work bench with oil on her face and her hands busy tinkering with gauntlets. She looked over at blueprints in a journal. If they were right, then she was definitely doing something wrong. How her mother made something so complex was crazy!

Yujin:Come on Yujin. You can fix a car, making gauntlets into a sword that don’t break should be easy!

Footsteps came up from behind her and a plate stacked with sandwiches. She looked up and smiled at her dad that gave her a wink, then kissed her forehead.

Jaune:Haveing fun, you grease monkey.

Yujin:Jokes on you, I like monkeys. Just a few more attempts and I’ll have the coolest weapon in Remnant. That entrance exam is as good as aced.

Jaune:Not if you don’t have a landing strategy. Tomorrow we’re going on a trip.

Yujin:Does it happen to be near a cliff?

Jaune:Who can say? Rule one of being a huntsman, be prepared for everything.

He ruffled her hair and left, laughing evilly. Yujin could tell he’s been waiting for this day. She pulled out her scroll and searched through a collection of videos labeled “mom” and found a super early one. She hit play and watched her mother give a peace sign to the camera as trees increasingly got closer from below.

Yang:Beacon rules!!!! Wooohooo!

The camera flipped and focused on a familiar blonde flailing through the air like a doll in the distance.

Yang:Oof, hate to be that guy! Wait, that’s vomit boy! Hahah, hope he survives. He owes me shoes. Poor dude. I guess he needs more training in flirting and landing. Wait, eugh I think he barfed again! Hahaha!

Jaune:Stop watching that one!!!!

Yujin:Hahaha but it’s the best one. The ending is priceless.

Jaune: *walks back down*

Yang:Well if he survives this I guess I can off him at least I can offer him mints and company. Fake it to ya make Jaune. Between me and Ruby, at least you’ll look like a player. Heh, nah, I don’t think I can support a bunny onesie.

Yujin and Jaune:*grinning* And then she did! *high-fives* Arc charm, baby!

[frillshark-fr]

How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question

i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort. 

so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful

1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire!  but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened

-----

2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr!  Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.

-

2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come

-----

3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void. 

-

3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.

the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?

-

3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think

-----

4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that   if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything!  people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!! 

-

4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”

- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.

-----

okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class

edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:

i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine

[babysizedfics]

Little Accidents, Big Developments

Chapter 8: Sink and Float

[This is an age regression story]

Chapter Summary: Roman is anxious, Virgil has some compelling things to say, Logan deduces Virgil’s true regression age, Patton gets emotional, and we say good-bye.

Chapter word count: 11,750

Other chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / bonus

Read on AO3 or below the cut!

Content warning: Light angst, but cuteness galore to make up for it.

oOo

‘All right, little prince. What should I write here?’

‘His coolness rating,’ Roman replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. His tongue stuck out slightly as he concentrated on his drawing; a picture of Kanga on the top half of a small piece of paper. Underneath the character were five rectangles, all coloured to varying levels of completion.

‘Of course,’ Patton said, nodding solemnly as he wrote “coolness” underneath the fifth rectangle on his own piece of paper. ‘And I’m guessing Tigger’s coolness rating is -’

‘Ten.’

‘Ten. Obviously,’ Patton giggled. He picked up the red crayon from the dining room table and coloured the final rectangle to completion. Just like the four rectangles above it. They signified Tigger’s bounciness, funniness, orangeness, and Roman’s seal of approval ratings, all maxed out. ‘I’m starting to think this card might be rigged.’

‘Nu-uh!’ Roman cried, finally looking up from his drawing with a pout. ‘Not rigged if it’s true. Tigger is the funniest, bounciest, orangest, coolest character, and he’s my favourite. He just has to win all of the rounds!’

Despite the frankly questionable logic, Patton was simply glad that Roman was back to his cheeky self.

While they baked, Roman had been strangely well-behaved. The way he had obediently mixed the batter, rolled the dough, and shaped the cookies without so much as a whinge was highly unusual. Patton was glad he didn’t have to tell the boy off for anything, of course, but there was nothing relieving in seeing Roman stand patiently at the side of the room while Patton washed up. There was no singing, no dancing, no bouncing, not so much as a peep from the little prince. It just wasn’t right.

Roman was boisterous, whether he was little or not; he was excitable and hyperactive and loud. Usually, he would have baulked at the mere suggestion of standing in silence awaiting instructions. Though that was precisely what he had done in the kitchen by his own volition, staring at his feet in quite a pensive manner.

By the time he had set the gingerbread haycorns and hunnypots on the counter to cool down, Patton had made the decision to extend their father-son bonding time. He knew Roman’s strange mood would persist if Patton didn’t get to the bottom of it.

‘Where are you going, sweetheart?’ Patton had asked when Roman had started walking towards the living room once Patton had finished the dishes.

‘Back with Vee and Mom,’ Roman had replied. ‘We can’t decorate them yet.’

‘It’s still father-son bonding time though! Why don’t we find something fun to do while we wait?’

He wasn’t quite as bouncy as Patton had hoped he would be, but Roman at least smiled at the suggestion.

Now, after almost an hour of crafting Pooh Cards (all design credit owing to Roman, of course), the creative side had finally been coaxed out of his sombre, contemplative mood. Patton himself had even perked up from the reassurance that he still knew what was best for his little prince.

‘What if another player that isn’t you gets Tigger’s card?’ Patton asked, neatening the edges of the coloured rectangle. He was careful not to budge Roman with his elbow as did so. ‘Won’t you be sad to lose?’

The scritch of Roman’s crayon paused for a moment, then continued. ‘It will be a worthy loss.’

What a funny little boy, Patton thought with a chuckle. Having finished with Tigger’s statistics, he put the crayon back in Roman’s Lion King pencil case. ‘Okay, last one!’ He slid the card across the table to Roman’s spot. ‘Do you need your dad’s help to draw Tigger?’ Patton asked. (Not so much because he was expecting a positive response, but because he knew the question reinforced both of their respective headspaces.)

‘I got it!’ An orange crayon was snatched from the table.

Patton sat back and watched as Roman drew his favourite character with a bright smile. It was impossible not to mirror it. ‘Once you’ve finished drawing Tigger we can decorate our cookies!’

‘Dad,’ Roman whined without looking up from his drawing, ‘they’re not cookies. They’re haycorns and hunnypots.’

‘Right, haycorns and hunnypots,’ Patton quickly corrected himself. ‘I keep making that mistake, don’t I?’

There was no response from Roman, who was clearly concentrating on getting Tigger’s tail just so.

‘Cutie pie,’ Patton couldn’t help but coo. When he pinched Roman’s cheek the younger side laughed so sincerely that Paton was hit by a wave of equal parts joy and guilt.

Joy because Roman was happy and so utterly adorable. Guilt because Patton clearly didn’t spend enough time with his little prince if this was such a rare sound to him.

‘I’ll get the icing ready,’ Patton whispered, leaving the room quickly.

By the time he had moved the cookies and the icing bowls into the dining room, Roman’s drawing was complete. Patton praised him heartily for his work (to which Roman blushed and giggled) as he arranged their workspace with the three different bowls of glace icing - yellow, pink, and mint green - and the cookies, plus a tube of white writing icing for the hunnypot labels.

Excited to be in charge of yet another creative project, Roman instantly took on a leading role. ‘Dad, you’ve gotta do the writing on the hunnypots and fen - and f-th-then I’m gonna do all the pretty colours!’

‘Right-o, kiddo!’ Patton saluted him, then got right to work. ‘You always have such wonderful ideas, don’t you, little prince?’ The lid to the writing icing tube put up a slight resistance as Patton unscrewed it.

‘Mhm… I’m clever,’ Roman mumbled slowly, concentrating as he spread some green icing onto one of the haycorn cookies.

‘Just like your mom. I’m sure him and Vee agree too.’

‘Vee thinks I’m clever?’ Roman asked, his voice a pitch higher from excitement.

‘Of course, sweetie. He looks up to you a lot.’ The tail of the “Y” that Patton piped accidentally curled off of the hunnypot in his hand. Patton placed the cookie back on the cooling rack and licked the sugary blob off from his fingertip. ‘You two are such lovely brothers - you’re practically inseparable.’

There was a gentle snap. Both Patton and Roman looked down to see that the haycorn in Roman’s hands had snapped in half.

‘Oh…’ Roman breathed as he looked down at the broken cookie. The pout on his face was so intense that Patton was almost worried he would start crying.

‘No, it’s okay. Here,’ Patton gently took the gingerbread pieces from his fingers. ‘Your dad can work his magic and glue it back together with icing. You just keep making them look pretty, sweetheart.’

They resumed decorating in silence, with something indescribable hanging heavily in the air between them. Patton kept quiet, allowing Roman space to speak if he wanted to say anything. Then, after a couple of minutes:

‘Dad?’

It sounded shy, so instead of looking at Roman and possibly making him more nervous, Patton’s eyes remained on the haycorn halves that he held together. White icing oozed from the crack as he waited for it to set. ‘Yes, my bright ray of sunshine?’

The nickname pulled a little giggle from Roman, brightening the atmosphere infinitely. He sounded a bit more confident when he asked, ‘Is, um… is Vee wearing a diaper?’

Patton’s gaze snapped onto Roman’s face in faint shock.

‘There was a weird sound when Mom moved him earlier,’ Roman explained. ‘And you said he feels littler ‘cause you tried something new.’

There was no variation of upset or amusement on Roman’s face, so Patton was not concerned when he confirmed, ‘Yes, he is wearing a diaper, you’re right.’ Though he still felt it important to add, ‘Does that make you feel okay?’

Roman quickly nodded, clearly desperate to show that he was not in opposition. ‘No, it’s fine. W-wait, I mean yeah! Yeah, it’s okay.’ His eyes fell down to the cookie in his hands as he continued decorating. ‘It makes sense. Babies need diapers, right?’

‘Right.’

The way Roman gazed at his cookie reminded Patton of how he had appeared in the kitchen; contemplative. It was clear that Roman had more to say, going by the way his toes tapped at the foot of Patton’s chair rapidly. Patton waited.

‘Okay, wait, so,’ Roman eventually said, sounding as if he were a student troubling himself over a difficult math problem and Patton was the teacher who could shed some light on its solution. ‘Virgil really can’t go to the toilet?’

Patton readjusted himself to lean his elbows on the table, settling in to patiently help Roman through his confusion. ‘Not when he’s regressed, no.’ The cookie halves wobbled a little in his hold.

‘And can he really not speak properly?’

This time Patton had to take a moment to think over his answer. He hadn’t actually considered questioning whether Virgil’s hindered speech was genuine. Now that he thought about it, Virgil did appear to try hard when he spoke while regressed. Although the babbles were quiet and seemed to meld into each other, they were notably forced. As if he was putting a lot of effort into getting them out. And yet they were only ever half-coherent at the best of times.

‘No,’ Patton said, smiling to himself at the realisation. ‘I don’t think he can.’ The reminder that Virgil’s regression was all-encompassing sent a rush of excitement racing through Patton’s veins. He truly was responsible for an incredibly vulnerable baby. While that thought might have been intimidating to some, Patton was filled with pure comfort at the mere thought. It was like he was finally fulfilling his purpose. It was like coming home.

‘So… Vee is really, actually a baby.’ Roman’s eyes were wide and his voice laced with astonishment.

‘Yes,’ Patton confirmed with a giggle. It sounded like this was a new revelation to Roman. ‘Your baby brother is really, actually a baby.’

Roman’s brow pulled into a light frown as his spoon swiped over his cookie one last time before dropping into the icing bowl with a clatter.

It was clear Roman wanted to ponder over the answer, for whatever reason, so Patton turned his attention to testing the cookie in his hands. At the slightest pressure, the two halves broke free from each other, and he tutted. Replenishing the icing more liberally this time, he held the jagged edges together firmly again.

‘I like that,’ Roman muttered.

‘What’s that, sweetie?’

‘I like having a baby brother.’ Patton saw Roman nodding as if assuring himself of his decision. ‘I don’t want Vee to be like me, I like that we’re different.’

The last part seemingly came from nowhere, and the whole discussion seemed oddly disjointed, though Patton didn’t show his confusion. Instead, he opted for his standard smile of loving support, which would always be appropriate in any situation as far as Patton was concerned.

‘Well, I’m glad you like it!’ His tone bounced cheerfully. ‘And I know that Vee really loves having a big brother.’

‘Hm,’ Roman hummed and picked up a hunnypot cookie to decorate. Something in the slow movements of his fingers as he iced the treat felt off.

Patton nudged him gently, jostling his elbow. A sympathetic smile wormed its way onto his lips when he saw distant eyes snap onto him. Roman’s throat rolled with a gulp.

‘What’s the matter, little prince?‘ Patton murmured sweetly. It never took Roman long to blurt any troubling thoughts that hurtled through his mind when Patton asked about them with such softness.

Right on cue, Roman sighed explosively. Then he began: ‘Now that I’m part of the family -’

(Patton’s heart twisted. Now that Roman was part of the family. As if he hadn’t been before.)

‘- I’m kind of…’ Roman paused, nibbling his lip. His eyes fell to the table as he whispered, ‘I’m scared.’

Patton instantly dropped his cookie to the table. He didn’t care that it split apart once more, leaving a thin line of white, sugary goop on the wooden surface - his only priority at that moment was Roman. His little prince always placed so much importance on being fiercely brave and strong. Patton knew this must have been an exceptional circumstance for him to actually admit to feeling afraid.

‘What are you scared of, honey?’ he asked, his tone as steady and firm as the arm he placed around Roman’s shoulders. It was of utmost importance that Roman saw him as a supportive, strong father figure during that moment of rare vulnerability. It had to be known that Patton would protect him from anything that was causing him distress.

‘I’m scared it’ll end.’ Thankfully, Roman clearly found Patton supportive enough to lean against him as he spoke. ‘You know, us being a family.’

It was difficult to contain the urge to shrug off the mere idea. Though Patton knew better than to dismiss his loved ones’ worries, no matter how seemingly unlikely. ‘Why do you think it will end?’ he asked instead.

A sharp shrug jostled both of their bodies. ‘I don’t know… What if Vee stops regressing?’

‘I don’t think that will happen,’ Patton said gently as he swayed them to and fro. The weight against his side got heavier as Roman leaned into his one-armed embrace. ‘Your mom thinks the regression is written right into Virgil’s brain since he’s done it for so many years. It’s a part of him.’

‘Okay…’ Roman sounded uncertain still, reaching forward to fidget with the hem of Patton’s cardigan. ‘What if me and him start arguing all the time again?’

Taking the long fingers in his own, Patton whispered, ‘You won’t,’ with absolute confidence. ‘I don’t think you could go back to how you used to be after everything you boys have shared with each other.’

When Patton pressed a soft kiss to Roman’s cheek, he honestly expected to feel the tension leave Roman’s body.

Instead, the grip around Patton’s fingers tightened painfully. ‘What if he says he doesn’t wanna be brothers anymore?’ Roman’s words were frantic, panicked. ‘I don’t wanna lose him, he’s the best brother I…’

Silence reigned.

Patton’s gaze sunk to the tabletop where the two halves of the haycorn cookie lay torn apart, joined only by a thin trail of icing.

‘I just don’t want us to be split up,’ Roman whispered brokenly.

Memories flooded Patton’s mind. Of two boisterous children, identical twins, perpetually by each other’s sides despite their constant arguing. Of fearsome fights; scratching and biting and screaming. And of a thought, just a thought, that had passed through Patton’s mind one sunny day like an innocent floating cloud. The thought that one of the twins had potential and that the other was… wrong.

Memories of the following day and only seeing one child come out from their room. Of little snippets of conversation between Janus and Logan. Of realising that the other twin had not ceased to exist, but had been moved to the lower parts of the mind. (No one understood how. It was the only time a side had been moved between the conscious and the subconscious.) (That would change over a decade later when Virgil timidly knocked on their door.)

Memories of the “good” twin - Roman - seeming unaffected by the loss of his brother. Happier, even, that his ideas had no contenders. That there was no longer a double of him suggesting all manner of disturbing things that Patton simply could not stand to hear.

Warm fingers tightened further around his.

As Patton’s awareness was reeled against that cold, crashing wave of regret, his mind spluttered. Unaffected? Patton realised now the ridiculousness of the mere notion that Roman would have been unchanged by the split. By the fleeting thought from Patton - he himself still being a child at the time - that had acted as the catalyst for such an irrevocable shift in the twins’ lives. In everyone’s lives.

‘Dad?’ Roman’s gentle voice broke the surface of Patton’s turbulent reverie.

With a steadying breath, Patton forced himself back to the present and clasped both hands around Roman’s. He prayed that the tightness of his grip would dispel the trembling of his fingers.

‘You and Virgil love each other very much,’ he said, ‘and you’ve both become a lot better at showing it; when you’re little and when you’re big. Even if you did argue, you could never stop being brothers. Not now. I promise, nothing will -’ Patton’s voice was suddenly strangled by an involuntary gulp. He felt his cheeks burn as he swallowed past the knot of nerves in his throat. ‘Nothing will tear you apart,’ he finished quietly.

‘What if you and Logan break up?’

It was easy to forget how different Roman’s voice was when he was little. Him being such a master at adapting his voice for different roles, the shift in tone was subtle, though effective. The slightest bit higher in pitch, though not unnaturally so. Much bouncier in intonation, but not inappropriately so. Changed, but not overexaggerated. (Perhaps Roman was accustomed to minimising the impact of changes, Patton realised.)

Though now it was clear. This question was deeper, louder, bigger than the previous ones. It was a question from adult Roman.

Patton sighed and met Roman’s eyes equally. At that moment he was no longer a father speaking to his son, but rather a friend reassuring a friend.

‘If, for whatever reason, Logan and I stop dating…’ Patton paused. That was the first time he had verbally acknowledged that they were an item. It truly felt amazing to admit to someone besides Logan himself. Though it was a melancholy experience, to be announcing their relationship while simultaneously theorising its demise. ‘If that ever happens then we’ll still be very good friends. And we will all still be a family, I promise.’

The reluctance faded from Roman’s expression and he wriggled his hand free from Patton’s hold. A finger raised between their faces. ‘Pinky promise?’ Roman asked in childlike hopefulness.

Patton curled his little finger around Roman’s. ‘Pinky promise,’ he said earnestly.

Taking advantage of the fact that Roman’s hand was apprehended - and desperate to distract from the loaded atmosphere - Patton swiped some icing onto Roman’s face.

‘Hey!’

‘What’s wrong?’ Patton asked in mock-confusion.

Roman glared at him past a smile. ‘There’s icing on my cheek!’

‘Oh, let me get that for you!’ Patton pressed a long, wet kiss to Roman’s cheek, the icing spreading between his lips.

‘Da-ha-d,’ Roman giggled, trying to squirm away.

With a loud smack of his lips, Patton pulled away laughing. As he licked his lips clean, he took a moment to appreciate the pure joy on Roman’s face. ‘I love you, little prince. And I love Virgil and I love Logan. And I know for a fact that you all love each other too. That will never, ever end. No matter what.’

There was a loud screech of chair legs against the floorboards then Roman was on his feet, hunching over to hold Patton in a deadly-tight hug. Patton returned it with a strained wheeze.

‘I don’t want it to end,’ Roman mumbled into his shoulder. ‘I don’t want anything to change.’

That was a loaded statement if Patton had ever heard one. The sentiment behind it was clear and admirable, of course. Like Roman, Patton too loved how their family was faring and wouldn’t change it for the world. Though he was hit by the reality of just how much had changed in the past few weeks, the past few days, even the past few hours!

Regardless, he knew what Roman meant, and he wasn’t one to magnify the ambiguity of language choices. That was Logan’s job.

So - despite his uncertainty in the generalisation of the statement - Patton held Roman closer and said, ‘Nothing will change, sweetheart.’

oOo

As much as he had enjoyed his and Roman’s Father-Son bonding time (which they agreed would become a weekly ritual from then on), Patton was more than eager to return to the living room and be the happy pappy again.  It was hard to shake the melancholy from the earlier conversation, after all.

Once the hunnypots and haycorns were decorated and left to set in the kitchen, the two traipsed back down the hallway. Patton stopped just short of opening the living room door when he heard a muffled, unintelligible conversation coming from the other side of it.

He looked behind him to Roman, who mirrored his confusion. The distant voices sounded as if they were holding a full-fledged discussion. Could Virgil have been grown-up again?

Patton pushed the door open with a deep disappointment that he didn’t quite want to acknowledge. Though on poking his head into the room, it didn’t take long to see that Virgil was still regressed and in Logan’s lap. He sighed in relief.

‘Mamanaba,’ Virgil muttered, rattling Meeko with fervour. The inflection of his voice was similar to that of normal speech, even if the actual content was gibberish and his tone was still decidedly babyish.

Logan’s hands readjusted on Virgil to hold him steady as the boy kept bouncing in his lap. ‘My goodness, I never considered such a thing! Though I don’t believe that is quantifiable.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Roman laughed from behind Patton, then stepped around him in the direction of the couch.

There was nothing but pure paternal instinct that made Patton hurriedly reach out and pull Roman backwards against his chest and into his arms. He just could not bear to see the others being so sweet while his own arms were empty of one of his babies. Thankfully, Roman just settled against him and didn’t comment on it.

‘This is an academic debate, little prince,’ Logan explained very seriously, offering one of his false-stern looks. His lips twitched. ‘No interruptions, please.’

‘W-waba, mamama,’ Virgil babbled, his voice now squeaky with excitement.

Logan gasped loudly and looked at Virgil in amazement, to which the regressor giggled. ‘What a fascinating hypothesis! But have you considered the subjectivity of such a theory?’

There was a moment of quiet while Virgil looked over at the doorway to Patton and Roman. It seemed he had only just noticed their appearance. Meeko was raised to hide Virgil’s face as he collapsed against Logan’s chest. ‘Baba,’ Virgil whined, muffled by the toy at his chin.

A loud chuckle rang out. ‘Well, you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about,’ Logan said, cupping the back of Virgil’s head protectively.

‘Mom, can you speak baby?’ Roman asked, sounding thoroughly impressed. As he spoke, he launched himself away from Patton’s chest and skipped over to stand in front of the couch.

‘It certainly sounds like it,’ Patton murmured, watching Roman go. The sudden emptiness in his arms couldn’t hold a candle to the emptiness in his chest. Why was he so sensitive all of a sudden? Why did his chest physically ache when he wasn’t holding his boys?

Then his thoughts came to a crashing stop. No. This wasn’t about him and what he wanted. Roman obviously didn’t want a hug so he was perfectly within his right to wriggle out of it. Patton had been keeping him from his brother, after all. The memories of his and Roman’s previous conversation rose in tides, threatening to spill over. Patton had been keeping Roman from his brother again.

‘What did you two get up to, little prince?’ Logan asked. ‘Did you have fun with your dad?’

As Roman launched into an impassioned regaling of the creation of Pooh Cards and his expert cookie decorating skills, Patton floated over to the couch - specifically towards the baby in Logan’s lap. His knuckle ghosted over Virgil’s smooth cheek and elicited a small coo from him. The contact and the sweet sound filled Patton with a sudden motivation that he hadn’t realised he had been lacking.

Then Virgil pulled himself to sit up from Logan’s chest and shook his rattle right by Patton’s ear with a bright smile that threatened to dislodge his pacifier. ‘Babababa.’

‘What a fun sound!’ Patton gushed, only faintly acknowledging that Roman’s monologue had just drawn to a close. ‘I see someone’s woken up a bit since we left.’

‘He is rather enraptured by the rattling sound,’ Logan said, shuffling Virgil in his lap so that he could more directly face the others. (It was true, the way Virgil stared at his toy looked as if we were both confused and amazed by the sounds coming from it; almost spellbound.) ‘I think it’s safe to say that it is a “good stim”.’ He directed his gaze to Roman and said, ‘Virgil appreciates his present from you Roman, even if he is not able to tell you as much at the moment. Thank you for making your little brother happy.’

Roman flopped down to sit on the couch a couple of feet away from Logan with pink cheeks. ‘S’okay,’ he muttered with a nonchalant shrug that was betrayed by his wide smile.

Quite unexpectedly, Virgil whined loudly and dropped Meeko to the couch. Then he wriggled and reached his arms out towards his brother so insistently that he slid right off of Logan’s lap.

‘Vee!’ Logan yelped.

Patton acted lightning fast, dropping to his knees and catching Vee in one fell swoop. A fraction of a second later and Virgil would have hit the ground.

‘Woah, there we go.’ Patton hoisted Virgil onto his hip and stood upright again, keeping a firm arm under Virgil’s diaper to support him. ‘Are you okay, angel?’ he asked breathlessly, residual adrenaline surging through his veins.

The shock didn’t fade from Virgil’s expression for several seconds. Then, at last, his eyes swam with thick tears and he broke into a constant stream of whimpers.

‘Aww, my little baby,’ Patton cooed. He started bouncing him lightly as parents often did with wailing infants. ‘You’re all right, sweetie. Shh-shh-shh.’ Virgil’s whimpers quickly quieted at the bouncing so Patton kept it up, warm adoration swelling in his chest at just how alike a real baby Virgil was.

With a wet sniffle, Virgil buried his face against Patton’s shoulder.

‘That’s it,’ Patton murmured. ‘Papa has you, you’re safe.’ He felt a pinch at his side and looked down to see that Virgil was gripping his cardigan and tugging on the material harshly. Without looking away from his baby, Patton held his free hand out to the couch. ‘Can someone please pass me Meeko?’

A few seconds passed without any softness being pressed into his hands. Patton looked over to find Logan and Roman sat staring at him in stunned silence.

It felt as though he had unknowingly done something horribly wrong. Heat flooded his cheeks. ‘What’s wrong, what did I do?’ Was he being a bad Dad? Would they take his baby away? His grip on Virgil tightened.

‘N-nothing,’ Logan stammered.

A loud snort sounded from Roman. ‘Wow, Dad’s pretty strong, isn’t he, Mom?’

‘Oh,’ Patton breathed with a nervous chuckle, trying to hide how utterly relieved he was. The look of betrayal Logan was directing towards Roman inspired enough amusement for it to be passable. ‘You carried him earlier too, Lo.’

‘I know that,’ Logan defended, his cheeks dusting pink as he looked back at Patton. ‘Just… not with one arm.’

Patton’s eyes trailed down to realise that he was indeed bouncing Virgil easily with only one arm. 

Logan cleared his throat then muttered, ‘It is rather impressive.’

‘Well, I’m a dad,’ Patton giggled lightly. He would never have imagined Logan would be flustered by such a thing. ‘Dads need to be strong for Dad Stuff!’

‘Like catching Moms when they swoon.’

At Roman’s cheeky remark, Logan’s mouth dropped open. The creative side quickly descended into giggles.

Patton witnessed the shock on Logan’s face be wiped away by an evil grin. ‘Oh, I’ll give you something to laugh about.’ Then Roman was being tugged towards Logan’s chest, Logan’s fingers wriggling in his underarms.

‘W-wait! Wait!’ Roman’s legs kicked against the couch as he was dragged into Logan’s lap. ‘Mom, ple-he-he-ase!’ he pleaded through already hysterical laughter.

Patton giggled and shook his head. It wasn’t often Logan tickled their little prince, but when he did he was merciless. Roman’s begging would not help him.

Amongst the raucous laughter and tumbling on the couch, Patton managed to swipe Meeko from the cushion before Roman’s ankles thrust into it with a squeal.

‘Here you are, honey bunny,’ Patton said, worming the toy between his cardigan and Virgil’s fingers.

The weight on his shoulder lifted as Virgil looked up with a curious hum. On seeing that he had been reunited with his raccoon, his eyes sparkled with joy rather than tears. And, as expected, he rattled the toy for what must have been the hundredth time.

‘Why did you jump off of Mama’s lap, Vee?’ Patton asked, fully aware that Virgil might not have been old enough to even understand the question. It was worth a try at least.

The question seemed to break Virgil from the trance the rattle had him under and he started whining and wriggling violently.

‘Baby, baby, it’s okay,’ Patton tried to soothe him. It was only met with louder whines and harder kicks. ‘All right, down we go,’ he sang, doing his best to make the words bounce with joy. It was difficult considering the immense sinking sensation in his stomach as he carefully lowered Virgil to the floor.

‘Is everything all right?’

Patton looked up at Logan’s breathless question, pleasantly surprised to see Roman still in Logan’s lap, finally free of the tickle attack.

‘I just asked him why he jumped off your lap.’

At the reminder, Virgil thrust his arms out towards Roman again and pleaded, ‘Wo… Wo-Wo!’

‘I didn’t do anything!’ Roman’s shoulders raised defensively as he looked to Patton. ‘It wasn’t my fault he fell!’

‘We know that, little prince. It’s all right,’ Logan assured him, embracing him to his chest.

With a gentle smile, Patton realised that Virgil was not blaming Roman for the fall whatsoever. ‘Sweetheart, I think Vee just wants to play with you.’

Virgil’s arms stretched even further into the empty space between himself and the couch. ‘Pway!’

‘Oh, um,’ Roman hesitated, looking at the ground and running his fingers over Logan’s arms, which were fastened around his waist.

‘I would like to stretch my legs anyway,’ Logan said, carefully sliding Roman off of his lap.

There was a short moment of thick quiet. It was over in an instant as Logan quickly rose to his feet, announcing that he would fetch some more toys for them before promptly leaving the room.

Before long, Logan had returned with supplies and the caregivers had set up a baby-safe play area for the boys. A large fluffy blanket lay across half of the living room floor and more than two dozen soft toys sat around the edges of the blanket, cordoning off the area. Around the room, cushions and pillows padded the harsh corners of the coffee table, TV unit, and radiator to avoid any painful bumps.

Roman was as bubbly as ever, overspilling with exuberant playfulness as he finally had his little brother’s full attention.

‘And what doth the King Meeko have to say to this usurper?’ Roman cried regally, bouncing his stuffed dog Bumpkin in his hands to indicate that he was speaking.

Virgil giggled and bounced in place where he sat against the foot of the armchair, carefully propped up by two pillows. His laughter mixed with the rattles coming from Meeko as he shook him.

‘Vee, what do you want Bumpkin to say?’ Logan mumbled from where he sat beside Patton on the couch.

A happy hum rolled from Patton’s chest. It was rare that they got a chance to sit together while both boys were little, but Virgil had gotten surprisingly fussy when Logan tried to sit with him on the blanket. It seemed the excitement of being with Roman had chased away his languid energy and he wanted to sit alone with his brother while they played.

Despite Patton’s increasing panic at seeing his little baby sitting all on his own, not in his arms, Patton felt comforted by Logan’s closeness. It meant he could run his fingers idly over Logan’s thigh as Logan’s arm draped heavily across his shoulders. He took the rare moment of casual intimacy in stride. Usually, they had to sneak around while the boys were asleep to cuddle and kiss. Though since he had spoken so openly about their relationship with Roman in the dining room, and seeing as Virgil was either unbothered by or unaware of their displays of affection, they allowed themselves this intimate moment.

‘A-ababa,’ Virgil babbled, pointing to the soft toy in Roman’s hands.

Roman sucked in a pained breath through his teeth. ‘Oof. That’s brutal, Vee.’ It earned him a bright symphony of babyish giggles.

Over the next few minutes, Patton brought his cellphone out to take pictures of the littles. Then when Logan pointed out that he had taken more than twenty almost identical photographs, Patton rolled his eyes with a playful nudge to his partner. He would have easily taken a thousand pictures if it meant he could remember this day by the adorable scene in front of him, rather than the blunt, heavy regret hammering away within him. 

‘How old is Vee right now?’ Patton wondered aloud, partly because he was watching Virgil through his phone screen. Partly because he just needed Logan’s voice to drown out Roman’s sorrowful words from earlier that kept replaying in his head.

‘Going by his babbling and playfulness,’ Logan replied, ‘I would place him around eight or nine months.’

All of the breath wrung from Patton’s lungs as he snapped his gaze onto Logan. ‘Months?’

Not seeming to notice Patton’s shock, Logan continued watching the boys with a gentle smile and nodded.

‘That’s way younger than he usually is…’ Patton placed his phone down on the couch, feeling shaky all of a sudden.

‘I am not so certain.’ A thumb started circling softly over Patton’s knuckles as Logan explained in a low murmur, ‘At first he told us he regressed from two to five years old. Though I have been observing his behaviour over the past few weeks, and I believe he has been greatly mistaken in this estimation.’

The soft material of Logan’s slacks bunched between Patton’s fingers. ‘What, do you think he’s not that old?’ The new information bombarded him with the horrible thought that he hadn’t been doing his job as a father if he hadn’t even noticed how old Virgil was when he regressed.

Gaze fixed on their boys, lips fixed in an oblivious smile, Logan went on: ‘Nothing I have seen of his regression has suggested he is ever older than two and a half years - though even then, being that old is rare for him.’ He tilted his head in thought, which would have been adorable had Patton’s vision not been pulsating with his frantic heartbeat. ‘I wonder whether he misunderstands developmental stages, or whether it is simply a case of him being unaware of his own behaviour patterns.’

‘What ages does he actually regress to?’ Patton whispered. He stared intently at Logan, desperate for the answer that he had apparently been too incompetent to see for himself.

With utmost confidence, Logan said, ‘Three to twenty-four months.’

Hot tears sprang to Patton’s eyes. ‘Three months…’ he echoed under his breath. Practically a newborn. With a gulp, Patton’s watery eyes settled on Virgil. A newborn who had been alone for so many years.

His wet eyes being glued on Virgil’s steadily blurrier form, Patton was startled when he felt Logan’s arm pushing insistently at his shoulders. Within seconds Patton was on his feet and being swiftly ushered into the hallway. His heart lurched when the blue and purple blob fell out of sight as he was guided past the corner of the doorway and the tears finally fell to his cheeks.

‘Your dad and I are right outside if you need us. Keep playing with your little brother,’ Logan’s voice said, then the door was pulled mostly shut and Patton was surrounded by long, warm arms. ‘What’s wrong, Patton?’

It all happened so quickly that he had no hope of burying his emotions, so Patton didn’t speak. He just clung to Logan and sniffled into his shoulder, thinking about what he had learned. About Virgil being so young and consequently about everything he had ever had to deal with on his own. The loneliness, the accidents, the bullies.

Patton bit his tongue through a wave of overwhelming anger. Over the course of the next minute, he simply took in deep, shaky breaths, glad that Logan did nothing but tap out one-second intervals on his back to aid his breathing.

Then, just as he thought he had overcome the worst of it, a babyish giggle rang from behind the living room door.

A sob wrenched its way from Patton’s throat.

‘My love, please tell me what’s wrong,’ Logan pleaded, his voice gentle though pained.

‘Sorry,’ Patton choked, pulling his face back from Logan’s shoulder to scrub his sleeve over his eyes. When he opened them and caught the utter sincerity in Logan’s concerned expression, the tears started anew. What exactly had Patton done to deserve such a wonderful man?

Patton couldn’t bear to hold back his lament any longer, keeping quiet so as not to upset the boys in the next room. ‘He’s just so - he’s literally just a baby. He’s innocent and - and vulnerable and -’ his voice wobbled and broke off with a shuddered breath. As he recollected all Virgil had told them of the hate he received on his blog, that same boiling rage oozed through Patton’s entire being. It stung and made him tremble. Like poison. ‘I can’t believe those horrible people would bully him for it!’

At the hissed tone, Logan’s face crumpled with a wince. Patton was ready to vehemently apologise for himself - about to claim he had no idea where that came from, it wasn’t him at all - until Logan said, ‘I know. I am angry too.’

There was no way Patton could have predicted how comforting those four words were. They doused the fire in his chest and left him dumbstruck. The raging indignance that had been snapping and flaring within him all afternoon suddenly disappeared and all that was left was a smouldering, pathetic sorrow.

Patton slumped back into Logan’s arms in defeat.

‘He was on his own for so many years, Lo. It’s bad enough he couldn’t look after himself,’ Patton whispered and shook his head, Logan’s shirt rustling faintly with the movement, ‘but on top of that some strangers attacked him just for - for -’

‘For trying to feel safe,’ Logan finished, twining his fingers gently in Patton’s thick hair.

Delighted, squeaky laughter echoed from the living room.

‘Not everyone is accepting.’ The deep voice vibrated in Logan’s chest. Patton held onto him tighter. ‘It is an unfortunate reality in both Thomas’ world and ours, and I understand it is upsetting. As much as we would like to, we simply cannot protect our boys from every possible threat.’

The icy pang of dread in Patton’s gut was twice as toxic as the scalding anger from before. What was Patton’s whole purpose if not to look after his family?

‘Virgil was not completely helpless to it, though,’ Logan continued. ‘He disabled anonymous asks without being prompted to do so. That shows he had the foresight to prevent it from happening again. He was protecting himself.’

Gentle shivers radiated over Patton’s scalp as Logan’s fingernails combed through his hair. ‘That’s meant to be our job,’ he argued weakly, ‘and he didn’t even tell us about it.’

‘Not at first,’ Logan conceded. ‘Still, that does not mean he did not trust us.’ Then Logan pulled back from the hug, leaving Patton cold. ‘You know how reluctant he is to share things that he perceives as embarrassing. Your conversation with him yesterday proves as much,’ he said, turning and walking down the hallway.

‘Where are you going?’ Patton shrieked, his hands curling into tight fists by his sides.

Logan looked back in shock. Then he carefully reached out to pick up the tissue box that sat on the cabinet by the staircase. The movement was slow, and Logan watched Patton all the while as if he were a startled animal that had to be monitored.

Shame flooded Patton. ‘Oh. Sorry, just… not done cuddling you yet.’

A soft smile replaced Logan’s frown and he brought a couple of tissues back to Patton, holding him again and dabbing at his itchy eyes. ‘I didn’t realise you would be competing with a box of tissues for my attention,’ Logan chuckled.

Patton knew it was a joke, of course he did. He loved jokes and he loved that Logan was finally comfortable enough in himself to make them without fearing people's opinions of him. But suddenly the heat in his chest was reignited.

‘Why didn’t you just summon them?’ Patton asked flatly.

The tissue that Logan stroked over his cheekbone faltered.

‘You always say how important it is that we don’t challenge the mindscape,’ Patton went on, glad that this topic had distracted Logan enough from his sudden clinginess. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you summon since you realised the whole - what’s it called?’

‘Equivalent exchange,’ Logan supplied, blushing. It was he who realised that the programming he had set up for their mindscape to follow real world laws of physics glitched whenever the sides took advantage of their powers; summoning an object would make another of similar mass and/or sentimental worth disappear, and breaking the laws of physics would train the mindscape to disparage Logan’s carefully crafted code. For the sake of stability in their environment, they had long since all agreed to sacrifice the convenience of summoning unless in emergencies. Logan most of all, which is why Patton was so shocked when he saw he had summoned a baby book earlier. ‘I understand it was hypocritical of me to break my own rule. I apologise, it won’t be happening again.’

Patton nodded. He didn’t want Logan to think he was upset with him, though he was satisfied that he had redirected the conversation effectively. ‘What was so urgent about a baby book anyway?’

‘I could not think of anything to calm Vee down,’ Logan explained, pocketing the crumpled tissue as Patton’s face was perfectly dry by then. ‘Regretfully, I acted quite impulsively in response to his crying.’

‘Oh no, was the poor thing upset?’ Patton asked, all harsh emotion replaced by softness and concern for his little one.

With a soft sigh, Logan leaned forward to press a kiss to Patton’s forehead. ‘You know how his separation anxiety is,’ he murmured against his skin, lingering there.

Patton frowned at Logan’s chest. ‘He still has separation anxiety?’

‘Of course,’ Logan said, putting some distance between them to look down at him.

‘But,’ Patton blinked rapidly, ‘earlier he was okay with me leaving and he - he hid from me, I thought -’

‘Patton, it doesn’t disappear from one positive experience,’ Logan explained, his arms still wrapped around Patton’s shoulders. ‘It may have been dimmed momentarily though it is still very much present. I believe it may be a permanent fixture of his headspace, simply due to the ages he regresses to and his anxious nature.’

‘Oh… okay.’ It was hard to know what else to say. Earlier Patton had thought he was proud of Virgil for overcoming his separation anxiety. But hearing that Virgil would perhaps never get over it sent a wave of warm comfort over Patton. He wanted to smile, but the fluffy feeling was sullied by something. Something distant that he couldn’t identify. Something unpleasant.

‘Do you know what time it is?’ Logan asked softly, spoken as if it were a love confession.

Patton instinctively reached into his pocket, only to come out empty-handed. ‘Sorry, I must have left my phone in -’

A featherlight touch at his lips made Patton fall silent: Logan’s fingertips. He could feel Logan’s pulse thrumming through them.

‘It’s later,’ Logan whispered, his eyes swimming with utter adoration. Then the soft fingertips were replaced by softer lips and Patton fell into a dream.

They floated together for a while, suspended in the short space between their hearts. After a few gentle pecks and a quick swipe of tongues, Logan pulled away.

‘That was sweet,’ Patton whispered airily, letting his eyes flutter open. Then he saw that Logan was frowning deeply at him.

‘Patton…’ Logan licked his lips and grimaced a little. He started chuckling, ‘Just how much lemon did you put in your tea?’

It wrenched Patton from his dreamy state.

Guilt. The unpleasant feeling that was sullying his emotions was guilt. Guilt because how could he think himself supportive of his family if in the face of their developments his response had been extreme jealousy? So extreme that he had had to literally suck on a lemon to pull himself out of it.

As if that weren’t awful enough, Patton had actually felt happy when he learned Virgil would continue to be distressed by his separation anxiety.  He had failed his baby, just like he had failed his little prince by neglecting him and not recognising his insecurities. He had failed at being a dad; the one thing he thought he knew. Why was he even trying to be a caregiver when he kept accidentally hurting his family?

Roman called loudly from the living room, ‘Dad?’

A switch flipped in Patton’s brain. No, he wouldn’t give up. His boys needed their dad and that had to be him. No matter how many mistakes he made, how wrong he was, Patton would never let go of the only thing in the world he could do. He would never let go of his purpose. The one thing he lived for.

He was nothing if he couldn’t be Papa Patton.

He slipped right past Logan, not caring to check his reaction to Patton’s avoidance. With a huge smile, Patton bounced into the living room. ‘What’s up, my majestic little songbird?’

It was immediately clear why Roman had called.

Where Virgil had been sitting on the blanket before they left the room, giggling and rattling Meeko excitedly, both boys now sat. Roman’s arm was thrown over Virgil’s shoulders protectively, supporting the younger boy as he swayed and blinked slowly. His eyes were decidedly teary and he was tugging at his pacifier again.

‘Oh, my sweet little baby,’ Patton cooed, rushing over to them. The storm of guilt and jealousy cleared from his mind in an instant, leaving him a little light-headed. It was replaced by a muffled determination and affection that made everything seem softer around the edges.

Dropping to his knees, Patton pulled Virgil into a hug. There was a little whimper, and then his shoulder was immediately used as a hiding spot for Virgil’s face. ‘What happened, Roman?’ Patton asked, leaning back against the foot of the armchair. He rested his hand atop Virgil’s head and felt as though his heart had started beating for the first time in hours.

‘He just froze and went super quiet all of a sudden,’ Roman explained, letting go of his brother and collapsing back onto the blanket with a pout. ‘Then he didn’t wanna play anymore.’

‘It’s all right, Roman,’ Logan said, settling onto the floor beside Roman with a reassuring pat on his knee. ‘Virgil can play with you again another time.’ He began clearing the mess of various toys on the blanket, assembling them into an ordered line.

‘Are you upset, baby?’ Patton whispered, rocking Virgil slightly in his hold.

As was to be expected, there was no answer. Virgil only hid his face against Patton more fiercely.

‘Perhaps it was the separation anxiety.’

Patton nodded faintly at Logan’s suggestion, but internally he knew that wasn’t it. In the past, if Virgil was anxious about being separated from Patton he was much more vocal in his upset; sobbing and whining loudly. Plus he certainly hadn’t heard Virgil calling out for him before Roman beckoned him in, so Patton remained doubtful that that was the issue.

Another difference became obvious as Virgil hugged Patton tighter, forcing Patton to hunch down a little to accommodate it. Where Virgil would always scramble into Patton’s lap at being reunited with him, this time he had remained on the floor with his legs pulled tightly to his chest. Patton experimentally nudged Virgil’s knees to convince him to lower them but was met with a whine and Virgil’s whole body tensed up.

As Patton shushed his baby and swayed him back and forth, he just knew. There was no solid thought process he could attribute to his realisation. He thought it must have been his paternal instincts (which sent a rush of pride through him). Though regardless of how he knew it, Patton was quite certain that Virgil’s diaper was wet.

Then Logan spoke. ‘I think I would like to -’

‘I’m handling it,’ Patton assured firmly without looking up from his baby.

There was a short while of silence before Logan spoke again. ‘I was going to say I would like to play Pooh Cards with Roman.’

Shame flooded Patton’s mind. He chased it away by rubbing soothing circles on Virgil’s back.

‘Oh yeah!’ Roman cried, jumping up from the blanket so fast Patton was surprised he didn’t fall face-first to the floor with the momentum of it. As he bounced in place he grabbed and tugged on Logan’s hands. ‘Mom, Mom, Mom, quick, come see!’

There was a slight reluctance as Logan raised to his feet. ‘I said I would play with you Roman. Please do not pull me.’

Patton rolled his eyes. Roman was merely excited, and he knew his own strength. It wasn’t like it hurt Logan. There was no reason for him to be so strict with their little prince.

‘Are you sure you two will be all right?’ Logan asked, and his voice actually wobbled.

Logan - who always kept a steady, calm voice even in moments of distress - was presumably so worried about leaving Virgil with Patton that his voice had actually wavered.

Patton had to unclench his jaw to reply, ‘Of course we will, I’m his papa.’ It came out far more snappish than he had intended. He ran his fingers through Virgil’s hair, using the soft tendrils to distract himself from the sinking feeling in his chest. ‘I mean - he’s okay. I know what this is.’ Finally meeting Logan’s gaze, Patton offered a small smile that he knew didn’t meet his eyes.

‘Okay, love,’ Logan said softly, lovingly, and Patton knew he didn’t deserve it.

Then Logan led Roman out of the room to fetch the card game and the papa and his baby were left alone.

For a minute they simply sat, Patton still swaying them gently. Going by the fact that Virgil was no longer whimpering, it was clear the cuddle was soothing him. Patton too felt himself relaxing as their bodies moved as one and their breaths synchronised.

Over the course of those few quiet moments, Patton’s worries all seemed to float away. As if Virgil were a calm breeze, clearing the muggy clouds of guilt and bitterness from Patton’s mind and replacing them with crystal clear skies. Patton nuzzled his nose into Virgil’s hair and breathed deeply, feeling as though he hadn’t tasted oxygen until that very second. There was no other feeling in the world that could compare.

‘Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have a proper cuddle.’

There was no protest as Patton shuffled both of them up into the seat of the armchair. Virgil kept a tight hold on Meeko all the while, clearly afraid of dropping the toy. Admittedly, Patton had hoped he would have an opportunity to check Virgil’s diaper during the movement, but their positions simply didn’t allow for it. As soon as they were seated with Virgil on Patton’s lap, the regressor whined and hurriedly wriggled off of his legs to squeeze into the small space between Patton and the armrest.

‘It’s okay, honey,’ Patton murmured, letting Virgil curl up to his side instead. His knees were flush with his chest once more; hiding his lap on instinct, Patton realised.

‘Dad!’ Roman yelled, skipping back into the living room with a bright smile. ‘Mom really likes my game and says I’m really clever!’

Feeling Virgil jolt at the sudden noise, Patton carded his fingers through his hair softly. ‘That’s wonderful, sweetie,’ he said, trying not to feel disheartened by the interruption to his and Virgil’s time together. ‘I think you’re very clever too.’

Roman appeared to vibrate. ‘And - and n-now Mom is gonna play with me!’

‘Well, I hope you win, little prince,’ Patton chuckled, enamoured by Roman’s sweet enthusiasm. Then he put on a loud stage-whisper, ‘Try to get the Tigger card!’

A deep gasp sounded from the doorway. ‘I heard that, Patton!’ Logan entered the room with a look of mock-offence. He held a red sippy cup in one hand and the stack of Pooh Cards in his other. ‘I cannot believe you’re conspiring against me.’

Patton giggled, twirling a lock of Virgil’s hair around his pinky. ‘I’m a supportive dad, I have to be on Roman’s side!’

‘Hm, I suppose I can concede that,’ Logan grumbled, throwing a quick smile Patton’s way. He handed Roman his sippy cup, praising him when he said, ‘Thank you’.

There was a quiet whine from Virgil and Patton rocked him a little. He was probably upset by the others being so close given his shy headspace at that moment.

‘Come here, little one,’ Logan called, moving to sit by the coffee table at the other side of the room. ‘I need you to teach me how to play.’

Roman did not react.

‘Sweetie, that’s you,’ Patton whispered, reaching out to squeeze Roman’s hand.

A blush overtook Roman as he looked over at his mom, a smile forming on his lips. ‘Me?’

‘Of course,’ Logan nodded. By the casual shuffling of the Pooh Cards in his hands, it almost appeared as if Logan didn’t recognise the gravity of calling Roman ‘little one’, though Patton knew his partner better than that. He knew that Logan must have noticed Roman’s need for coddling in the face of Virgil’s younger headspace.

Patton grinned as he watched Roman rush over, sitting as close to Logan as was physically possible.

Then he felt Virgil trying to burrow into his shoulder further and looked down. The boy’s neck was noticeably strained by the action since he had to stretch awkwardly seeing as he wasn’t in Patton’s lap like he usually was.

‘Do you wanna sit in Papa’s lap?’

A slight nod came in reply.

‘All right, on three. Ready?’ Patton secured his arms around Virgil’s back and under his diaper. ‘One, two… three!’ As he easily lifted Virgil onto his lap, he took the opportunity to subtly pat and pinch the diaper through the fabric of his onesie. Definitely wet. With a swell of satisfaction at being correct in his assumption, Patton lowered Virgil to his lap and kissed his head.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed though. Once he was sitting on Patton’s thighs, Virgil immediately whimpered and hid his face behind Meeko.

‘It’s okay, baby,’ Patton reassured, rocking him again. ‘Papa was just checking if you’re still dry.’

The explanation was met with a tiny squeak. Virgil lowered Meeko, revealing his pink cheeks and rattling the toy once more. Though he did not shake it with the same vigour he had earlier; this time Meeko was gently waved to and fro quite lazily. ‘Bababa,’ Virgil mumbled.

Apparently, the diaper check had comforted Virgil and reinforced his younger headspace. Patton sighed and held his baby closer. That was just utterly adorable.

Logan cleared his throat quite pointedly from the other side of the room, and when Patton met his eyes he mouthed silently: Is he dry?

Patton responded with a slight shake of his head. Then, strangely, he felt his lips curl into a smile. Even stranger, Logan mirrored it, and Patton was quite sure they must have been thinking the same thing:

That Virgil had had an accident again, but this time there was no sobbing. There was no hyperventilating. There was no panic attack. In fact, the only indication he had wet himself at all was the fact that he had been pushed back into his sleepy baby state, and that wasn’t a bad thing whatsoever!

Looking down at him now, it was clear to Patton that the diapers were a hugely positive change for Virgil. Despite his lethargic energy, his dimples were showing at the sides of his pacifier which bobbed lazily in his mouth. As he rattled Meeko softly, his eyes sparkled with babyish curiosity. He was calm and happy. It soothed Patton immensely.

oOo

As their time together went on, Patton and Virgil cuddled and played so much that it was impossible for Patton to wipe the cheesy grin from his face. He had rocked Virgil gently, tickled his cheek softly to watch him blush and giggle, dutifully kissed Meeko whenever Virgil held the toy up to Patton with a smile, and now…

‘Are you ready?’ Patton asked in his most exaggerated baby-talk voice. ‘Is my baby ready for more bounces?’

Virgil giggled and kicked his feet a little by Patton’s hips, facing him in his lap. Meeko was hugged tightly to his chest as he nodded.

‘Ahhhh…’ Patton started, securing his grip on Virgil’s shoulders. ‘Bouncy, bouncy baby!’ He bounced his legs on each syllable, making Virgil bob up and down in his lap with little squeals of happiness. ‘What a cute little stormcloud!’

Sweet laughter continued to tumble from behind Virgil’s pacifier. ‘Baba, g-gen!’

‘Again?’ Patton repeated, chuckling. They had been doing this for several minutes by that point, and his legs ached from the constant lifting. But who was he to deny his baby when his eyes glittered with such joy? ‘Okay. Last one, sweetie.’

There was no protest, only a squeak of anticipation. Virgil really was a sweet baby.

‘Ahhhhh… bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy baby!’

Delighted laughter escaped the pair and danced in the air surrounding both of them. Then Virgil smushed his face into Meeko and made a strangled, high-pitched sound. It was a common verbal stim when he was overwhelmed by happiness.

‘Oh my goodness,’ Patton gushed heartily, huddling Virgil closer in his lap and wrapping him in a tight hug. ‘You are the sweetest, squeakiest, most adorable little baby in the whole world.’ He emphasised his point by pressing a great number of kisses to Virgil’s cheek in quick succession.

Virgil suddenly whined quite desperately and pushed at Patton’s chest to be released from his hold. Feeling a rush of concern, Patton held Virgil at arm’s length, still supporting him but trying not to crowd him. ‘I’m sorry, was it a yucky feeling, honey?’ he asked, fearing he had set off Virgil’s sensory sensitivities.

Though Virgil still smiled and promptly held Meeko up in front of Patton’s face. 

Patton bit his tongue through a wide smile. ‘Why hello again, Meeko! Would you like some kissies too?’

‘Mnh,’ Virgil hummed insistently, rattling the toy a little.

Chuckling, Patton leaned forward and pressed a loud, ‘Mwah!’ right on Meeko’s button nose. When he pulled back, Virgil dropped Meeko to his lap and held Patton’s cheeks softly between his hands.

Patton was frozen in place. His brain simply couldn’t handle the adorableness.

‘Dad, Dad, look!’

Patton held Virgil’s hands softly to stop him from squishing his cheeks for a moment. Looking over to the coffee table, he saw that Roman was holding a full deck of Pooh Cards up to him with a triumphant smile.

‘Yay, you won again!’ Patton cheered, laughing when Virgil giggled and poked his cheeks again. ‘Well done, my clever little prince!

‘He’s a complete expert at this game,’ Logan said, stretching his back with a click. It must have been an awkward position to be sat on the floor hunched over the coffee table for so long (though exactly how long Patton wasn’t sure, he didn’t care to check the time.) ‘I don’t think I will ever be able to outsmart you at Pooh Cards, Roman.’

It was clear that Logan had purposefully let Roman win every game from the snippets of laughter and dramatic sighs Patton had heard as they played. Though Roman either hadn’t clocked it or didn’t care about it going by his extreme happiness.

‘How about we have some hunnypots and haycorns to celebrate?’ Patton suggested, knowing the cookies would have been set by then.

‘Why don’t you and Virgil go and pick them for us - only one each,’ Logan hastily added with his eyebrows raised at Patton. It was a fair point to make; as much as he and Logan didn’t care much for sweets and would be happy enough to share one cookie between them, Patton probably would have let the boys have several if that’s what they so wished. He was grateful Logan was there to be a sort of filter for his blind generosity sometimes. ‘Meanwhile, I think Roman and I may need to expel a bit of excess energy.’

By him and Roman, Logan obviously only meant the creative side, who was currently shaking and fidgeting quite energetically in his place on the carpet. It was true that a quiet card game was quite a rare activity for the hyperactive boy, as was obvious by the energy overspilling from him.

Patton nodded, holding Virgil closely against his side as he stood from the armchair. ‘Okay, let’s go pick some yummy cookies for everyone, baby!’

As Patton carried Virgil to the kitchen, he heard Logan set up the soundtrack to The Tigger Movie on the speakers. It was followed by the unmistakable sound of Roman launching to his feet and starting to jump and dance around.

‘All right, can you look up for me, Vee?’ They were stood in front of the rack of multicoloured cookies now. Virgil lifted his head from Patton’s shoulder and made a hum of interest when he saw the treats. ‘Good boy. Now you’ve got a really important job: I need you to pick some pretty cookies for everyone!’

Virgil pointed at himself with a surprise in his eyes.

‘Uh-huh,’ Patton nodded, jostling Virgil further onto his hip with one arm as he picked up a plate from the drying rack.

‘Baba,’ Virgil mumbled, and Patton looked down to see he was pointing at a cookie that had gone slightly wrong. It was originally a haycorn but as the cookies all spread in the oven it had been crowded against the corner of the baking tray, becoming misshapen and wonky. It was coated in pink icing.

‘This one?’ Patton lay the plate on the counter and picked up the cookie to hold it in front of Virgil.

‘Wub!’

‘You love it?’ Patton asked.

Virgil shook his head and pointed at it again. ‘Harp!’

‘Oh, you’re right,’ Patton smiled, looking at the cookie in a new light. ‘It does look like a heart! That means it’s a special love cookie.’

‘Beshul?’

‘Very special.’ He pressed a kiss to Virgil’s head. ‘Just like my special little baby. Do you want this one, honey?’

In response, Virgil suddenly pushed at Patton’s hand and the cookie got lodged between Patton’s teeth. He giggled in surprise, pulling the cookie back out of his mouth. ‘You want this to be Papa’s one?’

‘Wub Papa!’

Just as Patton thought there were no more harsh, icy emotions in him to thaw, he positively melted at Virgil’s innocent love confession. He smiled and placed the cookie on the plate. ‘I love you too, baby. I think me and Mama can share that one. Now do you wanna pick one for your brother?’

After some quite serious deliberation, Virgil had decided on a green haycorn for his brother and a yellow hunnypot for himself. Patton carried both his baby and the plate of haycorn cookies back to the living room. The hunnypot cookie was held in Virgil’s fingers as he suckled on the edge of it (Patton had stored his pacifier in the pocket of his cardigan, making a mental note to invest in a pacifier clip for the future). It seemed their bouncing game had tired him out once more, as Virgil’s head promptly dropped back to Patton’s shoulder once his task was complete.

‘I’m putting your cookies on the table, you two,’ Patton announced over the sound of Tigger’s theme song once they had returned to the living room. He swerved himself and Virgil around Roman as he bounced (and Logan who bounced only when Roman looked at him, then stopped once Roman looked away), careful not to bump anyone as he lay the plate on the coffee table.

Patton then settled into the middle of the couch with a sigh, letting Virgil drop to his lap again. Thankfully the music was not overly loud and Virgil seemed unbothered by it as he sucked quite lazily on his cookie.

‘Is that yummy, sweetheart?’

The soggy cookie left Virgil’s lips and was held up to Patton’s. He humoured his baby by pretending to nibble it and humming in enthusiastic approval. ‘Ooh, that’s lovely! Mm-mm, very yummy. Thank you, Vee.’

It satisfied Virgil as he smiled and continued sucking on it himself, nuzzling further into Patton’s hold.

Soon Roman had gotten tired of bouncing and Logan switched the music to set up the next chapter of their Winnie-the-Pooh audiobook, claiming that it was quiet time now.

While Logan was preoccupied, Roman had finished his cookie deftly in three bites (making Patton giggle) then he approached the couch quite shyly. ‘Dad, can I…’

‘You wanna cuddle too?’ Patton asked softly, smiling in encouragement.

The acknowledgement of Roman’s unspoken request was apparently enough permission for him and he practically jumped into the spot beside Patton.

‘Excuse me, I believe you are in my spot,’ Logan announced on his way back to the couch. As Roman made a noise of offence, Logan pulled him up from the seat to collapse into it himself.

‘Hey, I was -’ Roman started whining, but cut himself off with a yelp when Logan swiftly tugged him back down into his own lap. Roman’s cheeks flushed pink and he clammed up.

‘You were saying?’ Logan asked in a lightly teasing tone.

Patton shook his head at their silliness. It was strange that whenever the two showed affection to each other they seemed to want to set it off with jokes and teasing. Though as Patton rocked Virgil in his lap delicately, he realised it wasn’t really for him to judge how they showed affection. As long as his family was happy, he was happy. And it was clear from Virgil’s sleepy hums and Roman’s blushing cheeks bunched in a smile and Logan’s soft chuckles that his family were all perfectly happy.

His gaze dawdled a little on his partner until Logan’s eyes met his and softened, crinkling with a smile. Patton bit his lip and looked down, feeling bizarrely like a shy, lovestruck teenager.

‘Dad, can I have a kiss?’

The question threw Patton a little, not ever having heard such a blunt request for affection from Roman. It was unexpected but made Patton extremely proud of his son for being brave enough to ask.

‘Of course, little prince!’ He leaned up slightly to press a firm kiss to Roman’s cheek, noting a very light stubble there.

‘And now Vee!’ Roman immediately cried once Patton had sunk back to his seat.

Patton chuckled at Roman’s strange antics, but complied, pressing a softer kiss to Virgil’s head. The baby squeaked and buried his cheek further into Patton’s shoulder. Some gingerbread crumbs littered Patton’s cardigan, but he hardly cared.

Then Roman spoke again, ‘Now Mom!’ His voice was all childish innocence, whereas his eyes screamed pure scheming adult.

A short, surprised huff escaped Patton as he looked over to Logan. His cheeks felt warm.

‘Well,’ Logan hummed, his lips pulling into a shy, crooked smile, ‘I suppose you have kissed everyone else.’ He looked down at Patton expectedly. ‘It’s only fair, right?’

Patton thought his face would split in two with how he beamed with a smile. No more hiding, no more sneaking around. Not needing to be told twice, he pushed forward, thankful that Logan leaned down to meet him in a quick kiss. It was entirely chaste, lasting a fraction of the time all of their previous kisses had done, but it lingered in Logan’s blush and Patton’s smile as they pulled back from each other.

The look of absolute calm in Logan’s eyes instilled such an overwhelming feeling of content in him that Patton had to take a slow, measured breath. Everything is going to be all right, Logan’s eyes seemed to whisper. I love you and I believe in you, I believe in us, and I believe in our family. We’re all going to be all right.

And Patton believed that. He knew things weren’t perfect, that they might never be. That Roman would not overcome his insecurities overnight, that Logan was still struggling to balance sternness and playfulness, that Virgil still struggled with asking for help and that they would have to deal with the repercussions of Virgil coming out of this new headspace likely confused. Reluctantly, Paton also acknowledged that there might have been something to his own caregiver headspace that was less than ideal if his jealousy and clinginess earlier were anything to go by.

Still, in that exact moment, everything was fine. They weren’t going anywhere. They would continue to be a family no matter what. They had plenty of time to address these difficult things. Presently, Patton just wanted to appreciate the rest of the evening in peace.

‘Is everyone ready?’ Logan asked, holding his phone up to show that the audiobook was ready to play.

Virgil breathed deeply, still sucking his cookie. Roman nodded and scurried back in Logan’s lap to lean back against him.

When Logan’s questioning gaze turned to him, Patton simply nodded and shuffled on the couch to rest his head on Logan’s shoulder. ‘Ready.’

A gentle kiss from Logan pressed to his head and Patton held Virgil closer with one arm while reaching to hold Roman’s hand with the other. He knew now that the perfect family wasn’t possible. Though being surrounded by the three people he held dear in his heart, Patton also knew that this was the closest anyone could get.

‘Chapter Ten, in which Christopher Robin gives a Pooh Party, and we say good-bye…’ 

⤛ The End ⤜

oOo

Reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated! ♡

AO3 link | Bonus chapter

[isozyme]

just listened to "something to do w my hands" and WOW YEAH the savior complex & the need to support someone but a lil bit in a selfish way bc then that makes himself a good person... also YES idk why i haven't seen this yet but he's actually extremely smug & judgemental if you watch the corner of his mouth in cql it's VERY funny. would love your thoughts on why you think he doesn't ever put himself together again/come out of seclusion? have seen args either way & i think it comes down to jgy!

yessss you understand lxc!!!! the way his relationship with jgy is about lxc’s hunger to be needed, to be special, to be the only one who can see who jgy really is, to be better and kinder and more fair than everyone else, oof, it’s so good. i am hype to share my opinions on why lxc is irreparably broken at the end of the series.

to start, importantly: i basically take lxc/jgy as canon. i don’t think the plot makes sense without it. they are fucking, they love each other, they’ve both fucked around with nmj and that shit is fraught. you can’t convince me otherwise and all of my meta assumes this is fact.

i think lxc knew that jgy's hands were dirty, and almost certainly suspected that jgs’s death was jgy’s doing. i don’t think he knew about nmj, or how gross jgs’s death was, the incest stuff, etc. i think he saw enough to know that jgy probably killed his dad, went “you know what, that’s fair, i can forgive him for that” and decided that if he didn’t dig any deeper he wouldn’t have to know for certain and he wouldn’t be forced to do anything about it. lxc averting his eyes so he didn’t have to confront jgy doing a couple murders led to some...uh...bad stuff happening.

so that’s guilt #1.

then there’s guilt #2: he killed jgy. he got tricked into being a weapon and he put a sword through jgy’s chest.

guilt #3: he still loved jgy, even though jgy was an objectively vile person. he grieves jgy and he feels guilty for grieving and it fucks him up!

when it comes to lxc and guilt, you gotta take into account that this man has been told his entire life that he’s the most talented person in the five clans. he’s the first jade. he’s peerless. lxc strives for perfection and is pretty sure he’s basically nailed it, which means he believes fundamentally that if a thing is possible, he is capable of doing it. are we seeing where this is going? yeah. lxc thinks he could have stopped all of this. if he’d looked closer. if he’d been less selfish. it’s all on him. it’s his fault.

building on the “lxc has put his own damn self on a pedestal,” issue, now that he’s fucked up so spectacularly, all that certainty that he’s a perfect person is torn to shreds. he can no longer trust himself to make any good decisions. a huge part of his self-concept was a lie all along. he was not good. he was not fair. who the fuck is lan xichen if he’s not the cultivation world’s shining beacon?

in guanyin temple he shuts his eyes, drops his hand, and decides he doesn’t care how he dies, because he’s fucked up so bad. all the fight goes out of him. i don’t think he’s ever going to heal entirely from that moment.

oh also he’s really really angry and is absolutely not going to acknowledge that or deal with it, because lxc doesn’t do angry. (that’s the cost of having perfect control of your temper.) he’s furious that this happened to him and he was massively betrayed and that nhs used him and that his brother chose right when he chose wrong. so that’s fucking him up on top of the guilt and the grief.

basically that’s why i think lxc is permanently damaged by the end of cql. he’s never ever going to go back to being the first jade, zewu-jun, lan-zongzhu. that identity has been thoroughly destroyed. with time he might recover enough to be a functional member of the clan, but he’s always going to be fragile.

as for the seclusion question! i’d totally believe it if lxc walked into seclusion and never came out. that seems in character to me. with the right coaxing, he might come out again. absolutely not before at least 5 years have passed. likely longer. when he goes into seclusion i certainly don’t think he’s planning to ever return. 

it really hinges on lz, who’s the only one with a chance of drawing lxc back out into the world. lz is stubborn enough to do it! eventually, even lxc would be worn down by “my beloved little brother, who i basically raised from a child, kneels outside my door for eight hours on the first day of every month, the same way he did outside our mother’s house after she died, and i can’t stop remembering scooping up his cold little body out of the snow where he’d fallen asleep waiting, again, for someone who’s never going to emerge, watching him kneeling bravely during lessons the next day even though his knees were so, so bruised, and i’m repeating every single mistake our parents made only worse because i know exactly how much it’s hurting lz because i’ve watched it before.” 

i personally headcanon that a decade or so after guanyin temple, lxc shows up unexpectedly at lz’s shoulder at a cultivation conference. he’s got the exact same smile and makes the same polite conversation, because those things weren’t ever particularly connected to his actual emotions. but he’s thinner, and he holds himself like a porcelain statue, one missed step away from shattering. if he thinks nobody is looking at him, the smile stays on but his face doesn’t move, like there’s just nothing there underneath the polite expression because he’s not putting any effort into animating it. it’s unsettling as fuck!! he’s useful, efficient, great at killing evil things, he eats, he drinks tea, but you can tell his tether to the physical world is tenuous at best.

after guanyin temple, lxc never weighs in on a single important political decision ever again.

ONE THOUSAND WORDS LATER, that’s why i think lxc’s not gonna just bounce back from this one!

[trashmouth-tozier89]

Welcome to the Loser’s Club Asshole! - Ch.1 | ONE

Warnings: swearing, one homophobic slur (Bowers)

Word Count: 4,084

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Reader

A/N - the first official chapter of the first series on my page! oof, this is gonna be a ride. please know this is basically my interpretation of the two recent adaptations of IT that have come out, and so the cast of this exactly the same, with you as Y/N! I hope you enjoy this, and my interpretation of the film! 

If you wish to be added to the taglist, send in an ask or pop it in the comments! :)

Welcome to the Loser’s Club Asshole Masterlist 

Being the new girl was certainly the worst.

Y/N’s mum had decided her family needed a big change, and she assumed this would mean something like refurbishing the living room or getting a family pet, not moving to a completely different town on the opposite side of Maine. She had begged and pleaded, took every chance she could to convince her against the decision, but before she knew it, the house was bought and she was packing her bedroom into measly cardboard boxes.

Being a stickler for organisation, she had split everything she owned into 4 categories; clothing, books, cassette tapes and others. As she slipped her final book into the box labelled books, she sighed in relief; glad she was finally finished and could take a rest. It’s not like she owned much anyway, but she didn’t exactly like doing something which she didn’t want to do. Packing up her stuff meant that this was final, it was happening and nothing would change it.

Moving to a new city meant moving away from the place she called home; her friends, other family; she even considered the possibility that she’d miss the bullies at her school. She wasn’t exactly the most confident and outspoken person, so she wasn’t sure how easy it would be to make new friends. Especially considering the school her mum had enrolled her at, Derry High School, had taken one look at her grades and placed her in all the higher set classes. If she were to make friends, they would probably end up being nerds who were the pit of all jokes at the school. It’s not like she had any way of keeping in touch with her friends back home either; she wasn’t sure if her new house would have a telephone, and even if it did, catching up on the phone every night was not the idea of fun she had pictured for her summer holiday. She was utterly doomed to spend your summer indoors, alone, doing art to pass the time.

She lay back on the mattress that was once her bed, which annoyingly had no bedding on but it was better than nothing, and flipped to an empty page in her sketchbook, the pencil meeting the paper within seconds. She didn’t even have to think about what she was drawing, for the inspiration simply came without effort. Halfway through drawing, her mother barged into the bedroom, looking around to check she had completed what she had asked. Y/N could tell she was stressed, her decision quickly backfiring when she realised how much there was to do; the two were meant to be leaving for Derry tonight, and the moving truck was yet to arrive.

���Is it still not here yet?” Y/N questioned, looking to her mother’s worried expression and matching it. She nodded, shaking her head softly and sighing loudly. This really was taking a toll on her. “Is everything else packed up?”

It was just the 2 of them living in the house, though not for much longer. Y/N’s father had been out of the picture for about a year now, passing away after a terrible accident in one of the quarries across town, and it had taken a damaging toll on the whole family. Her mother had been feeling down for months, and she considered that this was probably the reason she wanted to move; the memory of her husband was bound to this town and if she were to move, maybe she could escape the pain. Y/N couldn’t deny, that really was the only reason she was happy to leave this town too, and so she went with her decisions with at least a little support.

“Thankfully it is. We are just waiting for the truck and then we can leave. I’d be happy to set off now, but I don’t know how I feel leaving all our stuff in the house by itself.” She explained, sitting down on the edge of the bed and resting her head in her hands. Like a miracle, the truck pulled in as soon as she finished her sentence, and Y/N could see the glee on her face when the middle-aged man from outside shouted “Is this the L/N residence” from the drive. She stuck her head out the window with a big grin, nodding yes and explaining she’d ‘be down in just a second’. It had all begun to set in; they really were moving, and they probably wouldn’t ever be coming back.

Making her way down, Y/N’s mother was in conversation with the truck driver, whilst other men rushed past her to grab all the furniture and boxes from inside the house. She only heard small snippets of her conversation, before sitting down in the car and closing the door. She didn’t want the big goodbyes and sadness; she wanted to get it over and done with before the emotions began to sit in. Thankfully, her friends had already said goodbye to her the day before; once she had left, she would be en route to Derry, no stops.

***

The new house was nice. It was nothing compared to her old one, but it was manageable. Y/N had her own room, and she could definitely fit all her furniture into it without too much of a squeeze. It just felt... strange. The whole town felt strange. Off. Like something wasn’t right.

Nevertheless, she lived here now and she wasn’t going to complain, because it would only upset her mother more and she didn’t want that to happen. Today was supposed to be Y/N’s first day at school, which she saw as extremely pointless considering the fact it was also the last day at school before summer. Her mother hadn’t picked the most opportune time to move house, but she wanted Y/N to at least get one or two friends before going into the summer, so she had someone to spend the time with. She understood the reasoning, she just didn’t exactly agree.

Especially considering she was 5 periods into the school day and yet to make any friends. Everyone either sent her a glance of disgust or confusion, questioning who she was and why the fuck she was even here. She peeked at her timetable to see her last lesson was easily the worst, Math. Being in the higher set didn’t make it much easier either. Apparently, the smart kids of Derry were much smarter than the smart kids of her hometown. Walking into the classroom, she recognised everyone from your previous classes, except one boy who sat right at the back of the class. His head was leant down, focused on a book, but she knew she didn’t know him based on the fact she hadn’t seen anyone with the same curly hair and blue shirt.  Due to the fact the only empty seat happened to be next to the boy, she made her way over.

“I-uh, is this seat taken?” Y/N asked, pointing to the vacant seat with a grin on her face. His head shot up at the sound of a girl’s voice, shaking his head slightly to indicate it wasn’t before looking back at his book. She sat herself down, pulling the math textbook out of her extremely light backpack and turned to face the boy. He seemed nice enough, and she thought she ought to begin making friends; at least then she could say she tried. “What are you reading?”

“Oh, it’s a book about birds.” He mumbled, almost like he didn’t want to be talking to her, but she wouldn’t let that put her off.

“Have you ever been birdwatching? I love to just sit in my back garden and watch them, sometimes I get my sketchbook out and draw them” she smiled at the thought, memories of her and her father sat in the garden with binoculars that were too big for her face hanging around her neck as he pointed out what each one was. Birdwatching soon became one of her favourite activities. That was the benefit of living near trees, and thankfully her new house also had that.

“Wait, you actually like birdwatching? I love it; b-but all my friends think it’s stupid!” He perked up, shocked to have found someone else with the same passion. She knew she was going to get along quite well with the boy, or she hoped at least. “I’m Stanley Uris, but you can call me Stan. That’s what my friends call me”

“I’m Y/N L/N. Hopefully we can birdwatch together sometime soon.”

“I-I’d like that” he grinned, cheeks blushing red at the idea of a pretty girl like her wanting to spend time with a boy like him. Her first official friend – Stanley Uris. Stan Uris. The boy from math class.

Maybe her summer wouldn’t be as lonely as she anticipated.

***

As the final bell of the day rang, the children of Derry High School spewed into the hallways, cheers and laughter filling what was previously silence. A collection of 3 boys rushed out of once classroom, carrying on down the corridor together; anyone around them could see very clearly that they were best of friends just from the way they interacted.

“So there’s like this church full of Jews right? And Stan has to take like this super Jew-y test” Eddie Kaspbrak, the smaller one of the 3, explained. The boy had a fanny pack tightly strapped around his waist, containing who knows what, and his backpack hanging over his shoulders. Some may have considered the extra accessory unnecessary for a school day, but they did not know Eddie and his hypochondriac personality well enough to make a judgement.

“But how’s it work?” Bill Denborough questioned; Bill was largely considered the leader of the pack due to his optimistic personality and valiance, also the fact that he was the tallest of the 3 gave him a slight advantage. Though, everyone has noticed the way Bill had been acting a lot more removed, and they immediately credited it to the fact Georgie, Bill’s younger brother, had gone missing only months earlier. No one dared to bring it up to the poor boy though.

“They slice the tip of his dick off!” Eddie pointed out, with a little too much enthusiasm. Bill pulled a face, as if to say Eddie was crazy, but the third boy simply scrunched his eyebrows together in a frown.

“But then Stan’ll have nothing left!” Richie Tozier, the final of the three, joked. Richie was the clown of the group, or as they liked to call him, the ‘trashmouth’. Mainly due to the amount of rubbish and vulgar words that came out of his mouth almost every second of every day. Richie couldn’t help it, it was his personality, but most people who met his for the first time didn’t expect such crude things due to the way he looked; the lens of his glasses were so thick, they made his eyes appear 5x bigger than they really were, meaning Richie was able to get away with a lot of the wreck he havocked.

“That’s true” Eddie started, before being interrupted from the touch of a hand grabbing his shoulder, and a familiar voice shouting “Wait up, you guys!” from behind him. The 3 turned to face Stanley, who had made his way out of maths a little late because he wanted to give Y/N his telephone number and address. That way, they would be able to birdwatch together.

“Hey Stan, what happens at the bar mitzvah anyways? Ed says they slice the tip of your d-d-d-dick off” Bill stuttered out, another stand out feature about the young boy. Bill had sported a stutter since he was a young child, which had earned him the nickname ‘Stuttering Bill’ from everyone at school. He hated the nickname, and he didn’t necessarily like his stutter either, but it had been getting better as time went on.

“Yeah, and I think the Rabbi’s gonna pull down your pants, turn to the crowd and say ‘Where’s the beef?” Richie exclaims, earning a small chuckle from the other two, while Stan simply stayed straight faced.

“At the bar mitzvah, I read from the Torah” Stan began, earning the attention from the other boys, “And then I make a speech, and suddenly I become a man”

The explanation seemed enough for Eddie and Bill, but of course, Richie slipped in one more joke with “I could think of funner ways to become a man”. That was before locking eyes with a group of boys, obviously older, who went by the name of the Bower’s gang; there was Patrick Hockstetter, a tall quite lanky boy, with black shady hair; Belch Huggins, overweight enough so that his belly always hung slightly over his belt, a baseball cap on his head and a grin of mischief on his face; Victor Criss, rather tall and thin like Patrick, but with hair as light as his pasty skin; and lastly, Henry Bowers. Sporting a brown mullet, wearing a t-shirt and a look of disgust on his face, Henry was the worst of them all.  Even the name, Henry Bowers, struck fear in almost every student at Derry High. It was common knowledge; do not cross Henry Bowers or any of his goons. Unless you have a death wish, that is.

Richie had been so distracted by the gang, he barely noticed when Stan corrected his grammar; “More fun, you mean”

The Bower’s gang stared at the smaller group as they passed by, Patrick licking his lips at Richie as if he was fresh meat. It is obvious from the boys faces they were frightened, Eddie even double-taking once or twice to ensure they weren’t following. Richie piped up, noticing how the group had been rendered silent; “Think they’ll sign my yearbook? ‘Dear Richie, sorry for taking a hot, steaming dump in your backpack last March, have a good summer!”

Eddie and Bill chuckled at the memory of Richie’s disgusted face having discovered Bowers had, in fact, taken a shit in his backpack without him knowing. Richie had learnt from that point that whenever the gang were in the toilets, it wasn’t a smart idea to also go in. And make a joke which is bound to aggravate them. Stan, however, was too preoccupied by Greta Keene who had knocked into his shoulder whilst barging towards the toilet at a speed that was simply unneeded for a school corridor. Greta was also a bit of a bully, but mostly to the girls of the school, considering she thought she was superior to them all. With the attitude of a stuck up brat, Greta was despised by the group of boys too. This was understandable.

 ***

“Best feeling ever” Stan grinned, as the 4 boys dumped everything and anything they could out of their backpacks and into the bins in front of the school. It was extremely relieving for them, knowing school was finally over.

“Oh yeah? Try tickling your pickle for the first time” Richie quipped, earning nothing but eye rolls and sniggers from the rest. Thankfully, Eddie was changing the subject before Richie could continue.

“Hey, what do you guys wanna do tomorrow?”

“I start my training” Richie explained, as if it was the most obvious thing that could’ve been said. This confused Eddie, and the remaining boys, as he questioned “Wha-what training?”

“Street Fighter” Richie answered, referring to the video game in the arcade Richie had practically dedicated his life to complete.

“Is that how you wanna spend your summer? Inside of an arcade” Eddie grimaced at the idea; he never understood the appeal of gaming, or the arcade for that matter, whereas Richie was the exact opposite. Richie looked at Eddie with a disappointed look on his face, huffing lightly.

“Beats spending it inside of your mother!” Richie exclaimed, chuckling at his own joke as he lifted his hand to high five Stan with an ‘Oh!’, only for his arm to be pulled down by Stan, who wasn’t joining in on any of Richie’s jokes, and instead making a more reasonable suggestion; “What if we go to the quarry?”

Eddie seemed on board with the idea, Richie too, but Bill was quick to remind them; “Guys, we have the b-b-b-Barrens”

“Right” Stan responded, understanding that going to the Barrens meant spending the day searching for Georgie.

“Betty Ripsom’s mom…” Eddie mumbled, changing the subject once again, as he spotted the woman stood next to a police car. She was looking around at all the children, searching for her daughter, who had also gone missing month before.

“Is she really expecting to see her come out of school?” Stan muttered, feeling a pang of guilt as he noticed the distraught expression on the woman’s face.

“I don’t know” Eddie answered, “As if Betty Ripsom’s been hiding in Home Ec. for the last few weeks”

“You think they’ll actually find her?” Stan asked again, eyes still pinned solely on the woman.

“Sure. In a ditch, all decomposed, covered in worms and maggots, smelling like Eddie’s mom’s underwear” Richie retorted, almost with a lack of humour to it.

“Shut up! That’s freaking disgusting” Eddie complains, the fact his mother is the pit of another one of Richie’s jokes getting on his nerves.

“Sh-she’s not dead. She’s m-m-m-m-missing” Bill insisted, turning back to Richie with a saddened look in his eye. The boy’s hearts dropped at the realisation of what they were talking about, and how sensitive it was for Bill. If Betty was dead, that meant Georgie probably was too, and Bill wasn’t ready to accept that.

Richie adjusted his glasses slightly, apologising quickly; “Sorry Bill. She’s missing.”

Bill turned to walk away from the bins and towards their bikes, with the others following behind – “You know the Barrens aren’t that bad. Who doesn’t love splashing around in shitty water?” Richie barely got out before a hand had grabbed onto the straps of his backpack and flung him backwards, sending him tumbling into Stanley. As they fell to the grass, Stanley’s kippah slipped off his head. Patrick noticed this, and grabbed the head cover before Stanley could stop him; “Nice Frisbee, flamer” Patrick mocked

“Give it back” Stan insisted, but Patrick had flung the small hat into a passing bus and shouted “Fucking losers” before Stan could grab it out his hand.

Belch approached an unsuspecting Eddie from behind, burping loudly into his ear. This caused Eddie to gag and run to the over side of Bill to get away from the boy. Bill, however, escaped any ridicule apart from a nudge from Henry as he passed by, mumbling “Loser” not so discreetly.

All the meanwhile, Y/N was stood at top of the path leading down to where the confrontation could be seen happening. She had been walking out of the building to head home, glad the day was finally over, before she witnessed the boy from math class being pushed over and bullied by the group of boys she didn’t even know. She usually would’ve left this kind of confrontation alone, but considering Stanley was the only friend she had managed to make yet, she kind of owed it to him. She rushed over to Stan’s side, helping him up off the ground, him mumbling a small ‘thank you’ in response. She watched as the bullies began to walk away, but she wasn’t going to let that happen; who were they to treat her friend like shit?

“What is your problem?” she shouted, capturing the attention of the rest of the Loser’s, but more importantly the Bower’s gang. They stopped in their tracks, turning back with a look of surprise on their face; surprise that someone would have the audacity to stand up to them. She couldn’t help but take a step back, feeling intimidated by the older boys, but that didn’t stop the girl from standing her ground with confidence.

“What did you say?” Henry scoffed.

“I said, what is your problem – need I repeat that again? Maybe a little slower so you and your pee brain friends can understand it a bit better this time?” she retorted, not letting the pit of fear she felt bubbling in her stomach show. Eddie, Richie, Stan and Bill cowered behind her, looking at each other in shock that this random girl was standing up to the school bullies, insulting them.

“Y/N, right? Only your first day at this school and I’ve heard all about you. You and your mom – I heard, she gave the principal a blowie so he would let you join the school. Not surprised, from the looks of you, your whole family are whores.” Henry muttered, making his way closer and closer to her face. Y/N felt sick at his words, the idea of a rumour like that being spread around school filling her with nothing but rage. With his final sentence, she watched as his hand went to reach under her skirt, before he had locked eyes with a police officer who stood against one of the cars. He pulled his hand away almost immediately, and she swore she saw a look of fear in the bully’s eyes. He began to back away, thankfully, but finished with one final sentence.

“This summer’s gonna be a hurt train, for you and your faggot friends” He threatened, before licking his palm and sliding it across Y/N’s cheek in one swift motion, eventually walking off towards their car and driving off. As soon as the group were far enough away, Y/N span around to check on the boys.

“A-are you guys okay?” she muttered, checking all 4 of them for grass stains or bruises. Meanwhile, they stood frozen, staring at the girl. It was starting to make her nervous, like she had done something wrong; “what?”

“That. Was. Hot” Richie muttered out, one word at a time, as his eyes remained solely on the girl in front of him. He thought the girl was the prettiest person he had ever seen; her e/c eyes which sparkled in the sunlight; her smile which stretched up to her eyes, that just seemed so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness; her wavy h/c which flowed, it looked so soft, and he just wanted to run his fingers through- What was happening to Richie?

“Excuse me?” She questioned, furrowing her brows and giggling at the boy.

“Uh, thank you. He meant to say th-th-thank you” Bill stuttered out, the girls appearance setting him back a little too; nowhere near as much as Richie though. While the other boys had snapped back to reality, Richie still seemed in some kind of trance, until Stan nudged his side harshly.

“Oh that’s no problem, Stanley here is the only friend I’ve made so far, so I thought I’d help out. I guess I didn’t expect…”

“Henry, Henry Bowers” Eddie filled in, noticing she was racking her brain for a name she knew didn’t reside there. She nodded, smiling thankfully before continuing

“…Henry to be so, uh, psychotic. Is he always like that?”

“Pretty much, stay away from him as much as you can Y/N. He’s a dickhead” Stan warned her, watching as her head nodded in acceptance; he didn’t have to tell her twice. “Oh, we were going to head to the Barrens tomorrow, i-if you wanted to join?”

“The Barrens? What’s that?” she questioned, furrowing her eyebrows and looking around the group to see they were all staring at her in admiration.

“It’s a small tract of land still heavily covered in trees and plant life, but there’s a river that runs through it…” Stan explained, watching as she went to ask why anyone would want to spend their day splashing through shitty water, but his face said it all; don’t ask.

“Umm, yeah. I’d like that – you have my number right, Stan?” she asked, and he nodded quickly. “Right, well I guess I better be off – my mom’s probably sat at home, waiting to hear all about how shit my day was, so… I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

She skipped off into the distance, Stan waving goodbye before turning back to the 3 boys who still stood shocked. Stan chuckled at the way they watched her leave, Richie’s mouth even falling open slightly, beginning to drool. He wiped it away quickly, before turning to Stan in an instant and almost yelling

“Who the fuck was that?”

[daddychims]

Offside Pt 6

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Series Masterlist!

Genre: Smut, Soccer AU, College AU

Pairings: Soccer Player! Jungkook X Sports Trainer! Reader

Word Count: 2k

Other BTS members all make a cameo as well because I’m an OT7 Trash!

You work as a sports trainer, providing basic first aid and injury management for the Hanguk University’s soccer team. Going with your mundane life of caring for the dozen of guys hurting themselves in the soccer game takes a turn when one of the guys catches your eyes. It’s not his breathtakingly good looks or his muscular athletic body usually seducing girls at the campus that catches your eyes. But the action plan in your kit, indicating he is diagnosed with Asthma is what draws your eyes time and time again to the Golden Boy of Hanguk University.

Warning: Slow burn, eventual smut, Taehyung being a freaking tease the whole time, Fuckboy!Jungkook, Asthmatic! Jungkook , mentions of episodes of Asthma, Take your Ventolin kids, Take your medications kids!

“I can’t believe you really made me wait until everyone else left.”

“Technically I’m getting paid to manage these guys’ injury, not yours, so quit complaining and be thankful I allowed you in here!” You reply as you quickly push the boxes of tools back in their place, glancing at the guy who sigh in response

“Whatever,” he roll his eyes, playing with his phone “No wonder you’re close to Namjoon Hyung. You always have something to say.”

You smile at his statement as you finally make your way to him and apply a moisturising lotion on his neck and massage the area the tape is sticking on his skin.

“I’m gonna peel off the tape now, let me know if it tugs on your skin,” you instruct the guy sitting on the chair as you carefully remove the purple coloured tape off his skin.

“Are the guys here that sensitive? what is it with all these instructions?” Jimin rolls his eyes in annoyance as he tilts his head back to take a peek at you.

“The instructions are basic safety procedures,” you sigh as you throw the used tape in the bin and quickly wipe the skin on the side of his neck with a wet tissue “If your trainer doesn’t talk to you while he does his job maybe you guys need to look for a new one.”

“Ooh, feisty!” He smirks, turning his head to face you “Maybe you should just come to SNU to be our trainer? Should I talk to Namjoon Hyung?”

“No thanks,” you roll your eyes at his childish statement “I’ve been here for two years, I know how to be loyal!”

Jimin’s lips purse into a pout as you carefully examine the skin under the tape you just removed.

“There seem to be no reactions,” you murmur to yourself

“I told you,” he rolls his eyes “I’m not as sensitive as your Hanguk boys.”

“Alright then,” you nod quickly standing up from the chair to organize your tools “You can go now.”

"Wait,” he quickly reaches for your wrist and pulls you back “I still have the pain in my neck, cant you tape it again?”

“No,” you simply reply crossing your arms across your chest “That’s not my responsibility, ask your head trainer on your next training.”

His expression hardens at your cold response, head falling back momentarily as he scoffs “You’re really trying hard to get aren’t you?”

You gulp, slightly nervous by the traces of anger on his usually calm and teasing expression "I was just doing Joon a favour. dont push it Park-”

A slight gasp leaves your lips as he travels the distance between your bodies, locking you against the table behind you by pressing himself against you. “What If I wanna push it?” He asks raising an eyebrow “Hmm? What If I really wanna push it?”

“W-What … What are you talking about-”

“How about you do me a favour,” he murmurs seductively “You take care of my neck and on the next party we’ll meet I’ll take care of you. You have my words.”

You gulp, feeling confused by the strange sensation at the pit of your stomach that is a direct result of his suggestive tone and those mischievous eyes.

“What do you think?” he asks leaning closer and taking a glance at your lips “Do you think you could do me a favour?”

You part your lips to say something but before you get the chance to do so the door snaps open, revealing Jungkook.

"Are you done?” He asks as he looks at you with his wide doe eyes

your head flicks back to the door and you immediately push Jimin away, noticing the dumbfounded look on Jungkook’s expression as his does eyes flick rapidly between the two of you.

“Do you need help?” He asks, voice slightly deeper than his usual voice

“No it’s alright, I’m almost done” you nod quickly wrapping your tools back in the box “If you’re in a hurry you can leave first-”

“No,” he refuses immediately, voice rising which makes you look at him “I can wait.”

Upon looking at him, you realize he’s not looking at you but his eyes are fixed on Jimin who is in return staring back with his piercing gaze at the guy. “So,” Jimin finally breaks the tense silence “Are you gonna strap my neck or not?”

You sigh, nervously looking at Jungkook and wondering if Jimin is gonna continue with his suggestive act in front of the other guy or not and you immediately decide the risk is not worth it.

“Fine, I’ll do a quick one,” you start cutting the tape off “But you need to promise me you’ll check your neck with someone as soon as possible. These tapes are gonna take you so far Park!”

Jimin smirks and nods his head as you quickly start to place the tape on the marks that are remaining from his previous one.

“So, how are you gonna check if I kept my promise?” He asks as you press the ends of the tape on his skin.

“I can ask Joon,” you suggest, eyes hesitantly travelling between his neck to Jungkook who’s standing there with his eyes still fixed on the two of you. You flinch as both of you make momentary eye contact and quickly avoid his gaze.

“That’s too boring, I guess I dont really need to keep my promise then.” he moves his neck around after he notices that your job is finished, eyes glazing over the guy who’s watching his with those careful orbs.

“Park dont try me!” You warn as you continue to put everything back in their place.

He stands up and reaches his hand to you “Phone!”

“Huh?” You ask dumbfounded

“Your phone,” he rolls his eyes “Give me your phone.”

His tone is so rigid and stern that you dont doubt it and unconsciously reach for your phone in your pocket and hand it to him.

He smirks as he grabs the phone, gaze flicking between your and Jungkook before he quickly presses a couple of buttons on the screen.

“I’ll call you and report on the progress of my neck personally,” he declares and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion as you notice a smug grin adorns his pouty lips.

He then throws the phone in your hands before ruffling your hair “Also my offer is still on, looks forward to seeing you in the next party.” he winks before walking past you and exiting the place.

-

“Are you close to Jimin from SNU?”

your eyes travel from the platter of Sushi up to the source of the question, furrowing your eyebrows closer as you try to examine the emotion complementing those words.

“Not really,” you reply hesitantly “why?”

“You guys seemed really close,” He shrugs, successfully avoiding any eye contact with you as he flips through the pieces of raw fish “I was wondering if you’ve known him for long.”

“I met him at Jiwoo’s birthday party,” you shrug, reaching for the bottle of water to fill your own cup and sense his body tense across the table at the mention of that night “Is this what you wanted to talk about?”

“No-” he replies sharply, quickly looking up at you as he sighs “I … I wanted to talk about-”

"Jiwoo’s birthday night,” you complete his sentence as you push the cup of water towards him.

“Yes,” he sighs, expression falling as he watches over you, “I think we should talk about it but-” he pauses hesitantly before continuing “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.”

You gulp nervously, knowing very well that he’s not totally wrong about your obvious effort to avoid him for the days following that night. but you quickly regain your composure as you reply.

"I just forgot about it,” your eyes wander around as you try and remember the night “I didn’t know you’d wanna talk about it.”

“Well, I do!” he replies in a determined tone and his stern tone catches your attention

“S-Sure,” you nod, finally giving in “Go on!”

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out as if the word was feeling too heavy for too long between his lips “about what happened that night, I … I actually thought I thought that you- that you …” his voice trails off as he searches for the appropriate words to no avail.

“You thought I want to hook up with you,” you complete his sentence again, taking pity at the sight of his bright red earlobes.

“Yes,” he nods, biting his bottom lip nervously “and I guess I was wrong.” “You were,” you nod confirming his statement “Hooking up with you was probably the last thing I was thinking of!”

“Oh …” his expression hardens, almost looking offended by your statement but he quickly shakes it off “Alright!”

“I’m sorry too,” you quickly add before the conversation turns more uncomfortable than it is “I guess I was too intrusive about your health, I didn’t mean it. After seeing you struggle at the game I thought I know better, I should have probably left it at notifying Dr Kim about my concern.”

He looks at you, lips parting to say something in response but he just sighs in silence so you quickly continue.

“Also about what I said that night,” it’s your turn to search for the right words this time “The whole smoking thing, I’m sorry! I got ahead of myself, that’s literally at the top of the things you shouldn’t say when you wanna convince someone not to smoke.” you chuckle awkwardly waiting for him to say something in response

“It’s fine,” he replies quietly “and yeah, I’m not gonna lie I dont think I was very convinced.”

“That’s good to know,” you nod lowering your gaze “As the trainer of the team I felt responsible to make sure you’re doing fine, but I guess I crossed the line.”

“So it was only because you felt responsible as the trainer of the team?” He asks, voice barely audible as his pupils dilate slightly bigger than usual

“Y-Yeah,” you nod “I just wanna make sure all of your get through the final games fine, Jungkook.”

He looks at you with a foreign expression settling on his face, eyes wandering around in confusion as he digests your words. The tense silence ruling the situation between the two of you stays for a few more minutes before you quickly grab your handbag and check your phone.

“Oh, I forgot,” you quickly look at him apologetically “We have the group meeting with Dr Kim tomorrow. I should probably head home before its too late.”

“I’ll drop you off,” he offers quickly, as he grabs his key car

“NO-” your refuse almost immediately before jolting up “You should eat your dinner, you barely ate,” you then quickly grab your wallet and leave a couple of notes on the table “we’re all good now yeah?”

“Y-Yeah I guess,” he watches the money notes that you organize on the table “You dont need to-”

“It’s alright,” you smile back in a rushed manner “I’ve got this tonight, accept this as my apology.” you offer before standing up and smiling one last time “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you!” he mutters reluctantly and you turn around leaving the restaurant.

-

You finally shut your MacBook down and fall into the warmth of your mattress, wrapping the blanket around yourself burrito style. Your eyes perk open as the sound of your phone notification vibrates against your body and you immediately take a peek at the screen.

“Hey!” -11:15 PM

you blink a few times before checking the name of the sender which an unknown number and you furrow your eyebrows.

“How long do your tapes have warranty?” -11:15 PM

You scratch the back of your head, wondering who the person behind these texts is when the phone vibrates in your hand and the next text appears on the phone.

“It’s me Park Jimin, you sounded smarter when you were explaining Placebo Effect or whatever it was.” -11:16 PM

You scoff, head falling back on your pillow as you start typing your response.

“Don't tell me you fell for my intelligence. That pickup line is too cliche for 2019, Park.”

You hit the send button and the text goes on its way with a ding from the phone and you bite your lips waiting for his response.

“You caught me! I guess I can’t go down that path then. By the way, I’m saving you as Miss Placebo Effect.” - 11:20 PM

You start typing but before you get the chance to form the sentence his next text comes through.

“You can always make me change it to "Baby” if you want. My offer from earlier is still on.“ - 11:21 PM

You sigh at the sheer audacity of the guy, continuing to flirt with you even after called his bulshit a few second ago. 

You considering replying him but in the end you decide leave him on seen as you throw your phone on the nightstand and drift to sleep.

[mayorofcattown]

Patreon updates

I’ll put more in depth info about all this under a read more, but I’m gonna start updating my patreon again but this time with speedpaints instead of/alongside visual novel stuff. There isn’t anything posted just yet, I’ll post the first speedpaint sometime in the next week.

Also was curious if people would be interested in longer, slower recordings? Not real time of course, but maybe like 1 hour instead of 10-20 minutes? Do people actually watch those, I have no idea lol

I’ve also updated the main intro on my main patreon page here (or if you just wanna check it out in general): https://www.patreon.com/mayorofcattown

Anyway, more info under the cut

So uhh its been a while lol. I’ve been pondering what do do with my patreon for the last few months, cause I didn’t really know what to do w it. I was originally gonna use it for visual novel related stuff exclusively, but since I finished the last fan game I made there hasn’t really been much to post.... cause while I have been working on stuff, it’s all boring backend programming stuff, or stuff that would be better shown publicly to get ppl interested in the first place. I’d always pitched it as mostly just a tip jar anyway, so I figured I’d just take a break for a bit and anyone could drop off if they weren’t interested anymore, but I still felt kinda bad abt leaving it, so I wanted to do something with it.

I had however been thinking of including speedpaint videos instead/in the meantime. I’ve always liked them personally, but they’re kinda a pain to make, and youtube’s algorithms make it hard to really get anywhere with them, so I could never be bothered doing them, but I figure they’d be a cool thing to put on my patreon instead. They’d be more worth my time, and I don’t have to deal with any of youtube’s bull.

Another reason I’ve been thinking of doing this is I finally got around to buying the full version of the screen recording software I use, Flashback, (it turns out they had a Very Good student discount lol) which makes editing the videos WAY easier, cause I used to have to export every piece of footage individually to be able to edit them, which took ages, but now I can edit them all in the software itself, and then just export it Once as the final copy, which saves So. Much. Time.

tbh the only reason I even use it is that all the other screen recorders I tried HATED clip studio for some reason, at least on my laptop (Especially OBS..... for some reason having OBS open on my laptop At All breaks pressure sensitivty in CSP for me??? but not in anything else??? wtf??) tho I mostly just like how simple it is to record stuff too

Basically I can make speedpaints way easier now but also I hate using youtube so I figure I’ll slap them on my patreon instead.

Also like I mentioned, I’m thinking of offering slowed down ones too? not real time, that’d be like 6+ hours at bare minimum, no one wants that, but I could do like. hour long ones if people are into that? I’ve seen ppl offer them, but I don’t have the attention span to watch someone draw for that long lol, so I dunno if people actually watch them. they would take like no extra effort to make, if I’m already doing sped up ones anyway

I will probably do abt one speedpaint (2 if I do the slowed down one too, but same footage) a month, available on the $1 tier. I don’t plan to do other tiers, this is still mostly just a fun tip jar thing, so I never want ppl to feel obligated to pay, it’s just a fun bonus for the ppl who do and are able to support me, but it’s totally not necessary. I might end up making the speedpaints public after like. a year or so, and I’m never gonna have like. actual art exclusive there or anything.

I don’t record Everything that I draw, cause it can be a hassle sometimes, but I do have a bit of a backlog of footage that I can use, so I have a buffer I can go back on if I don’t get anything recorded that month. The first speedpaint I’m gonna post is of the tanuma bday pic, with him and natsume on chilling on madara, and I also have recordings of the Ass Class and Tales of Vesperia pics I drew a while ago.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

throwing out some random numbers: 2, 23, 27, 39, 53, 58, 64, 76, 89

that’s the spirit tyvm.....you don’t know what these numbers will give me, idk what i’ll get from them, we’re just gonna see where it goes together

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

this time i’ll cape for lollipops. they can be fun colors! you can hold the stick in your mouth as something to fidget with.....Fruit Flavor....

23. strange habits?

hmm i mean [autistic behavior] which would seem ~strange~ but only from that certain perspective.......i think One Weird Trick i do is from this nightmare time when like, one semester in college i guess uhhh that was wow a decade ago lmao i had 8 am classes every day for 2 semesters and my roommate and i were night owls so i’d (generally) go to bed earlier and i got in the habit of like, covering my head (or the top half anyways) with like a robe or towel or whatever to block out the light. makeshift sleep mask basically. except i’ve slept like that ever since and it feels weird to Not do so. and i doubt an Actual sleep mask would cut it cuz it’s partially the weight thing. i can only imagine how fun a weighted blanket is lol

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

going tf inside!!!!!!! cold weather is garbage. although once i did go ice skating and reasonably enjoyed it. i like skating

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

i don’t like pie very much lmao i think the Crust is generally disappointing and i’m not big on the fillings. that said, lemon meringue is a Superior Pie and i’ve made it probably at least a dozen times, it’s pretty fun i think. but still the answer is lemon cake. lemon cake is amazing. cake is amazing. no contest between like, do i want some Amazing fancy pie? or do i want this $1.50 cake mix? i would probably want the cake. or i’d at least have to take a moment to think about it even if going with the pie cuz yeah some pie Is good and u can’t quite get the same flavors in a cake, like rhubarb. i don’t know that rhubarb cake exists. but lemon cake is great. lemon Pound cake hell fucking yes Please

53. what is the current state of your hands?

my hands are fine. they’re here and the same as ever. my nails are already a little too long but not to the point i Gotta cut them cuz it’s annoying tf out of me.....they’re not very dry, which is good, cuz yknow sometimes in the winter it’s like oh no i need lotion to live or smthing.....one time it was winter and i had dryass hands and we went to this Concert and i was just clapping enthusiastically and it made the back of one hand bleed lmao like yikes. the back of my right hand has a freckle although maybe that’s a mole, i haven’t been paying enough attention to know for sure lol.....i used to have a freckle in the middle of my palm on my left hand but that faded a while back. speaking of my palms the other day i was like, hmm is there some weird subtle like crepeiness in the surface of my Palm Skin??? it seemed like there was weird like, lattice-forming creasiness going along the Length of my fingers / across my palm. it might’ve been a vitamin d thing so i ate 3 eggs. today my hands seem more normal but the whole thing might’ve just been me making it up + placebo yolks. but either way. very normal hand day i’m having rn

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

man idk lol. i can get shy cats to like me sometimes. you just Be Chill with them and let them get used to you, idk it’s not hard @ anyone who thinks befriending cats is difficult like, probably that’s just you doing it way wrong........i can cook decently well, that’s handy i think and it can be fun even though it’s also this whole involved hassle......i like to Draw Emotively (in that the drawings are emotionally evocative / expressive, not that the way that i draw is particularly emotive) and i like when people like it / read it as Expressively as intended, i guess i’m proud? like, mission accomplished.......oh wait yeah and damn when i practiced ballet for like a whole decade i was proud of being good at that i guess cuz yknow, Effort, same as with drawing lol i’ve been doing it for a hot minute, i can be proud of those results.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

i wasn’t very Online as a kid b/c we had the one computer w/ a dialup connection & just like, whenever i was using the computer lots it was Pc Games......didn’t rly be on the Net much until Late ‘08.......

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

i’ve said latkes but you know who really supports me recently is a Whole potato i just scrub off and microwave and cut up and throw some salt n peppy and Shedd’s Spread uponst. like thank you so much for these nutrients and easy preparation, Staple Food

89. who would you put before everyone else?

hmph i don’t like, like, this Pyramid Tiering of everyone in your life with these higher and lower Levels of mattering-to-youness. i mean yeah sure i think we agree that it’s generally the case that we have More casual acquaintances vs friends vs Close friends and so on, but like. why are we gonna accept this Concept where like “okay but What If you need to only pick One Person.” like we’re driverless cars who need to program ourselves about whose life we prioritize, are we gonna run over This pedestrian or That one, who’s Winningest in the “being important to us” game. like we’re not a parent and the house is on fire and which of our three children do we love the most? well like, whose bedroom is closest. which of them hasn’t already bailed out a window. what if our Favorite isn’t the one we’d help first cuz maybe someone needs our help more at some particular time. like what does this question even mean!!!! what is the purpose of asking it??? i don’t like the premise or accept it. and it smacks of [those Concepts surrounding ~romance~ which i also do not like or vibe with]. no b.a.e........i’d go all out for Friends or for People I’ve Never Met But Respect or for Strangers.......some ppl would not get my all-out effort lmao or will get my nah-i-won’t-lift-a-finger lol but that’s if they’re like reeeal shitty. but like why should we whittle down ppl’s Importance to us to like “okay but who’s the 1 the ONE person who you care MOST about” like goddamn why are we adopting this framework. like ideally we have a Community of ppl in our lives who have different relationships / roles / connections to us, and this is pretty complex and why even Think about like, well there *has* to be the One who you prioritize Most Every Time, and you need to Know who that is......like what does that mean. and you know like. maybe the people who are in your life most intimately aren’t always the ones who have the strongest Help/Support ties to you here......like relationships are complicated and varied and having a network of people is better than like the idea that we should be fine and thriving with [The ~Soulmate~] [the friends who are kinda important but pale in comparison to The Soulmate] [family?] [acquaintances] like well if you Would Die For This Person and They’d Die For You you guys are obviously set!! 

anyways i went off about it but i get mad about this stuff like. the stuff that feels like it’s even within 2 degrees of talking about those Soulmates and romantique notions like being incomplete or inherently unfulfilled without That One Special Someone. and even throwing the Romance out the window, why like, have your network of relationships put into a Tournament Bracket where you whittle down who matters most until the Champion emerges????? goddamn

[maiji]

Makai Unification Tournament matchups (with special focus on Hokushin and Kirin)

As we all know, Togashi didn't depict like 90% of the fights in the Makai Unification Tournament. But he actually went to the trouble of MAPPING OUT THE ENTIRE TOURNAMENT BRACKET and making up names for every fighter. This means that if you pick some key people and follow them, you can see some really intriguing matchups (and also get names for your fics if you want hahaha). Which was possibly the intent - get readers all riled up and then not show anything lmao.

For fun, let’s walk through the tournament from the perspective of two powerful characters the series doesn’t really focus on - Hokushin and Kirin! OK I admit I just want to because I’m writing them a lot lmao

The handy tournament bracket chart thing

I was flipping through vol 19 and was reminded that many many years ago my sister had made these pencil notations on the two page spread of the tournament bracket. Basically she marked off where all the important people were, which is really helpful when you’re just staring at a sea of names. I've updated and transferred the notations to screencaps of the pages from MangaRock so you can see them too and be able to read them in English. A few names are rendered somewhat differently from what I’m used to, the most obvious being Rinku as Link and Kirin as Kylin. I’ve also noted a few bonus people below. Many thanks to my sis for doing most of the original legwork when we were kids lol

Blocks A and B

=^w^= Nekobaba appears in the anime as Nekotama, the size changing cat with the extra long claws.

LOL Zakuro is that loser who ran his mouth off in front of Yusuke and Hokushin about how how he was gonna take everyone down and plunge the Demon World into darkness, but then lost his first match. In the anime he also shows up with the gang on patrol in Mukuro’s territory.

Blocks C and D

(heart) Sasuga is the monkey-like demon girl Rinku falls in love with.

Also, I just have to say - DAMN, TOUYA, YOU LUCKY. He’s surrounded by (apparent) nobodies!! hahahahha. Except in the anime they changed it so he fought Kujo and gets his ass kicked. Oh well.

Hokushin and Kirin’s rounds

Here are the two surviving original generals of Mukuro and Raizen, two pretty big shots in the Demon World prior to this whole mess. Let’s see how they fared. (Ignore the stuff the announcer is saying in the images above about their block numbers, it’s irrelevant to the matchups below. These block numbers were for the mass eliminations during the prelims so that they could weed out tons of fighters at once. Both Kirin and Hokushin had to wipe out all opponents in their block in order to make it to the actual tournament bracket.)

Hokushin’s rounds

Round 1: Hokushin's first match is somebody named Himuro. Obviously my noodle husband kicks the ass of this random nobody with elegance and grace and moves on to Round 2.

Round 2: Here he meets Shishiwakamaru. Unsurprisingly, I'm of the opinion that Shishi is no match for him. But don't take my biased word for it - the animation team agreed. This matchup is actually depicted in the anime with Hokushin as the victor. (I'm not all that satisfied with how they did it, but again, they were busy plugging a lot of other gaps left by Togashi so I understand lol.) Yusuke's amazing nanny moves on to Round 3.

Round 3: Where he meets Raizen’s old beau Kokou and gets utterly massacred. I like to think he delays the inevitable with some ingenuity that forces her to put in a bit of effort to utterly massacre him. We know for a fact Kokou is the victor of this round because in the manga, Yusuke tells Kuwabara that Yomi was beaten by Kokou in Round 4, which you can see is the very next fight. In the anime, this conversation doesn't happen, so it was super funny to me when I watched the English dub for the first time and saw Kurama telling Yusuke (paraphrased) "Yomi lost to someone he had no business losing to" WELL EXCUSE ME ENGLISH DUB KURAMA, KOKOU COULD KICK YOUR ASS TOO. Anyways, this would've been a cool fight to watch, I think anyways.

Kirin’s rounds

Round 1: Some other rando named Nobusama 110% guaranteed bites the dust against Mukuro's badass general.

Round 2: This round’s interesting because, just like Hokushin, Togashi gives him a potential round 2 pairing with one of Yusuke’s friends - Jin. As much as I love Jin, I'd bet on Kirin just thoroughly mowing him down. In the anime, this never happens because Jin fights Souketsu (whom I always remember as “Raizen’s friend with the ugly hat” because of what Shu says to him lmao), but in the manga Souketsu was actually in Block A. If they just wanted Jin to get wiped out by one of Raizen's pals, Denhou already appears in Block D - though perhaps the animation team agreed that Jin probably would not have gotten past Kirin and didn't want to come up with attacks for the latter lol. Similarly, maybe they just did not wanna draw Denhou being cool, poor Denhou. Souketsu has to appear during the timing of the Yomi VS Yusuke fight anyways, so if we’re just thinking about resource allocation for designing and getting voice actors and whatever it makes more sense. ANYWAYS. Our sexy demon sorcerer moves on to Round 3.

Round 3: Wuh woh, there's Denhou. Kirin was probably annihilated here. That said, from a generous writing perspective, if I had to pick any single person in the series who is not Yomi or Mukuro as having a reasonable rat's chance in hell against one of Raizen's old friends, I'd probably pick Kirin. It's still super unlikely and definitely a surprise upset (for us readers who are fully aware of how powerful Raizen's pals are supposed to be anyways), but not completely unrealistic. But actually it doesn't really matter, because even if Kirin somehow made it to Round 4,

Round 4: He would then fight Enki. Where he would be confirmed screwed. The end.

That was fun, kinda like a fantasy football pool or something!

[the-faequeen]

Pretty confused, so after reading the star guardian comic, does kayn like jinx? does zoe like kayn? what's your stand on this ship anyways? Just curious but mostly confused cos the other comics from way back when says otherwise.

AHH sorry for confusing you anon!

I’m gonna monologue for a bit here

So there’s 4 Kayn and Zoe(s) that I make comics on the usual.

1. The Casual AU of Kayn and Zoe that I draw with the varisty Jackets.

My stand: The feeling’s mutual but they’re both too emotionally constipated and oblivious of each other’s feelings to get together. It’s a more drama-driven Kayn and Zoe since its like -- an AU i made and i’m indulgent like that and its why i barely post stuff about the casual AU? cos its too out of character even for me sometimes. :3 i dunno --

2. The Star Guardian AU.

My stand: They’re childhood friends in this AU? (or neighbors-- whatever anime trope you’d prefer) and they’re also really close friends. They tend to get into each other’s throats tho, undeniably and YES, Kayn is (just)  interested in jinx (after the Bang finger gun thing)  whether he acts upon that or not -- i dont really know yet? I’m still on the fence with it cos i just sorta made that comic on a whim while eating nutella and watching K-drama :v -- BUT yeah, he doesn;t have feelings for zoe in this AU? not really? they’re just realy close friends. they know each other TOO well and yeah -- zoe’s kind of “little sister-zoned” here sadly... but we’ll see what kayn’s gonna do. As for zoe has a happy crush on Ezreal, that’s pretty obvious Buuuut -- she IS jealous with the whole Kayn and Jinx thing. Not cos she likes him or anything -- she’s just not used to her best friend oogling at someone. It’s jsut too sudden for her. she’s a little brattier than the usual in this AU

3. The Canon Kayn and Zoe from my main comics

My stand: It’s as canon as it gets. Zoe likes Ezreal, Kayn is his usual smug self, he’s chasing after Zed’s approval -- the works but --  yeah, this is my comic’s point A. My comic’s point B is zoe starting to like Kayn -- and it’s not the same kind of like of crush as ezrea -- nah -- I’m talking like -- LIKE-LIKE, You know? that’s where the comic is heading i guess --

let me explain... zoe -- any reason why she would stick around kayn and not get bored of him? (since she likes playing around and seems to get bored real easily) WELL -- reading zoe’s lore.. She actually seems --- pretty lonely. SHe’s sad that people run away from her once they see her use magic or notices that she’s different. Even in her voice lines, she’s so friendly towards the League girls and tries to make friends with them. I honestly think that coming back to a home that changed so much that its hard to recognize-- WOULD be lonely. Also, i think Kayn’s the type who won’t scare so easily when faced with a magical gremlin. This leads back to my first chapter where zoe said something along the lines of “you’re always alone too, i figured you wouldn’t mind the ccompany”...  Yeah. i just honestly think she’d want to stick around cos he doesn’t run away and finally she’ll have someone to talk to. I dont know, zoe’s side on this i can explain and develop better through the comic. So just watch out for it i guess. :3 she starts out as “I have this huge crush on ezreal” to “W-wow .. what’s this feeling? Why do i suddenly feel like I want to be around Kayn-- not just cos i feel lonely -- but because I kind of just want to and being with him is fun and great and awesome”

sommeeething like that? I DONT KNOW, JUST WAIT FOR THE COMICS, I SWEAR I’LL EXPLAIN IT BETTER THRE XD (i hope-- I’m so bad at this)

4. the Zoe and Kayn with Moon mom/ SUn Mom and Zed and Syndra as parents.

my stand: Zoe likes kayn here. Kayn -- he’s confused wha tthe hell zoe’s trying to do

if you may have noticed, apart from the casual AU, it’s zoe liking kayn really :3 cos i really think kayn can’t like someone on his own? like the person needs to put in a lot of effort and stuff? also-- i feel like the person he’s gonna end up “liking” or at the very least noticing, needs to be at equal parr with his power ? This is actually the reason why I ship him with zoe. Not the braids or antyhing (that’s a part of it) -- it’s because zoe’s strong enough that she can probably -- most likely -- get his attention.. cos let’s be real here - the only person Kayn respects is Zed and that makes sense cos he’s kayn’s master meaning kayn sees him as stronger and he’s pouring all his efforts on surpassing zed. therefore, it’s safe to assume Zed definitely got kayn’s attention. For a person to get his attention, i feel like he/she has to be the same?  and as a demi god -- i think zoe’s pretty high up there with her power levels. :3

that’s all O3O i’ll stop now -- i could literally talk about this for hours? but i dont wanna make people read too many things XD thanks for asking anon