#i was going to talk about Instances with antagonists but i just kept thinking of more until i literally ran out of space in this tag help

[04tenno]

https://www.tumblr.com/moophinz/720140974864629760/whose-ass-will-we-see-at-the-rgg-summit-kiryu

Important poll to prepare for the summit

Can I Just Say No. Can I Abstain.

[thedemonsurfer]

Back on my bullshit with trying to guess character motives feat. Dark Sun

Sooo Dark Sun (or 'Just Sun') finally rolled up to talk to Sun in todays SAMS ep, and naturally I'm putting him on the high-speed cycle in my head trying to parse what his motives are. What does he GET out of this?

Because he was leaning on Sun really hard to kill Nexus-- specifically, he wants Sun to see Nexus as a representative of the worst kind of person Moon can be, and to recognize that as a threat that needs to be killed.

But-- why?

Roll back a bit: Dark Sun has been involved in every step of Nexus' fall from grace.

He did something to New Moon at their very first meeting.

He provided Eclipse with the means to bring back Solar, and then prevented him from acting until Dark Sun wanted him to.

He dropped Ruin off on New Moon's doorstep when Moon was at a point where he could have accepted Solar's death, causing Moon to double down on his efforts.

He plucked New Moon out of space and pulled the chip containing Old Moon out of his head and left it for Monty to find.

He's provided Nexus with a new base of operations and enables his monkeying around with dark energon dark star energy, despite the damage it's doing to Nex.

Dark Sun needs Nexus to make himself into a threat. Because that's what he does, he sets up the dominoes and pulls the strings, but he doesn't outright tell others what to do (unless it's bossing Ruin around, but Ruin is his bitch so he doesn't count.)

And today, he was leaning real hard on Sun to see Nexus as a threat. to see all Moons as a threat (though, curiously, not mentioning Old Moon).

So what is he getting out of this? Why does he also need Sun to see Nexus as a threat that needs to be stopped? Why does he want Sun to 'understand' that he has to kill his brother?

Dial back the motives. The most compelling and strongest motives are Simple and Selfish: Eclipse didn't actually want power, he wanted Moon to pay attention to him. Ruin did want to prevent a total catastrophe, but he also wanted revenge on the Creators for destroying his life and world.

(As an aside, this is why I feel that Bloodmoon didn't make a good antagonist, and why Ruin's initial appearance was kind of boring. 'I'm here just to fuck shit up' isn't a very compelling motive.)

What do we know about Dark Sun?

He lied about having killed his Moon and actually kept him to torture-- or he DID kill his own Moon, and the one Ruin met was a substitute

He never gets his hands dirty, he gets others to act for him

He's obsessed with Sun

He fucking hates Moon

Dark Sun tells Sun that 98% of dimensions lose their Sun, and Moon is often the one that kills them. But it's not exactly that straightforward, is it?

Atlas points out that Dark Sun is counting dimensions where Sun was reset as him being 'dead'. Dimensions where Eclipse has a hand in Sun's death could be considered Moon's fault, since Eclipse is a byproduct of the killcode. Ruin's situation resulted in the ego death of both his Sun and Moon, on his Moon's suggestion. Ruin also wiped out 5000 dimensions and I think that's gonna skew some of the numbers.

And... how many dimensions have we seen a dead Sun in the show? Two, I think? The one where they never split up and Moon consumed Sun after the killcode took full control, and Solar's. And in Solar's, that Moon went mad trying to bring his Sun back.

Almost every instance we've seen, Sun and Moon coexist just fine once they're in separate bodies.

And I think that's what Dark Sun wants. I think he's trying to justify killing his own Moon before they ever got a chance to get along.

Moons MUST be evil and unable to change, they MUST be cruel. It's impossible for a Sun to get along with a Moon for any length of time, and that Sun is in the right when he has to kill his Moon.

And he's going to use Sun and Nexus to prove how right he is.

[rosewoodroad]

Scattered thoughts on SoTO

Tl;dr: Lukewarm climax, lukewarm ending. Isgarren is still rude.

Finished the final chapter in an hour and a half. A lot of drama was condensed into those 3 instances, but it felt like there was zero point to the first two where we were just at the camp. It got a bit juicier in the third instance in Eparch's palace. Like, three drops of juice juicier.

The most interesting bits of the story I can recall are:

Eparch ate his entire army! At the time, I was like "oh shit" but in hindsight, I was really hoping for Eparch to be planning a massive attack or something. There was so much build up as to why he wasn't retaliating against Peitha. But no, his great plan was just to eat his own soldiers. I guess it makes sense with his character, but I think if the execution and consequences of the reveal was better, it would have been a real slap to the face.

Eparch's first contact with Tyria was the Maguuma Jungle and Mordremoth, the latter of which he was scared of. This is a real neat detail imho, and helps paint a better picture of the power hierarchy between our antagonists. Eparch truly isn't that big of a threat in the end.

Eparch's final battle was a letdown for all his intrigue. Heitor was harder than him. I literally stood there and tanked all his hits, there was zero mechanic to the encounter. It sure made the speedkilling achievement easy, though.

Meh battle aside, Snargle is always a pleasant surprise.

Isgarren is such an asshat. It makes him an interesting character, but I'm upset they didn't do more with him. Like, what was all that talk about the Commander being similar to Isgarren before? Everyone is like, "you remind me of him" but they never show how?? I thought they were gonna do some real in depth introspection into his personality by the time the story ends but I guess that's it. We're supposed to see the two of them as twins for some reason, but maybe the Fractal will shed some light?

Sounds like Zojja is leaving us for good this time. The exchange between Zojja and the Commander is the only element of the chapter that made me feel things :( Also, I love how the Commander's lines here mirrored their monologue in the prologue: "See? Everyone's doing just fine, Aurene" to "Everyone will be fine, Zojja."

I think my biggest disappointment with the ending is the lack of implications in the epilogue. We could talk with a bunch of people but they're all about the future with the Kryptis and whether peace is possible and whatever. Nothing about, or from, mainland Tyria. No hints for the next expac. No mention of our guild members. No Ivan, who sent us on the mission to begin with and heard nothing from us since. No Taimi, who really ought to be spamming calls on the comms device now that she knows Zojja is back. What is the point of the communicator device in our bags when it's literally used for the prologue and nowhere else???

Peitha's king now. I love how they kept the 'king' title instead of making her queen. But... that's it for her, I guess. I knew she wouldn't betray us, but I admit it's also sort of boring how the story just ended there. I think it could have benefited from more post-story achievements where we help out with turbulent politics or diplomacy instead of going on another treasure (or kryptis) hunt binge. Right now, it feels like the equivalent of brushing dirt off our pants and going, "welp that's done."

Nobody's gonna mention what Eparch said about Kryptis' predatorial nature, huh? They drop his (very, very tiny violin) sympathetic backstory and motivations, and then proceed not to bring its implications up at the peace treaty scene. Absolutely nobody is bothered by Kryptis possibly needing to feed off mortals.

All in all, honestly a forgettable ending. Looking back, the expac started off really strong thanks to the intrigue behind the Wizards and Isgarren. But once that intrigue is solved and we go delving into Nayos, it just feels like a rehash of all our previous adventures where we fight to overcome some Great Force of Evil- just that the Commander isn't in the spotlight anymore. I would've preferred it if the past three chapters were spent with the wizards instead, solving dumb magical problems (or even fighting to keep the Astral Ward a secret!) instead of partaking in a generic military storyline for the 9th time. Like, instead of Eparch, we could have been hunting down a whistleblower, or a traitor maybe, something that keeps the intrigue there.

At least it's acknowledged that the Commander is tired of this stuff too. They need a nap.

[icantspellthings]

I wonder what Oliver would've lied about if he got obsessed with other people, for instance, Venetian or Farleigh.

I'm assuming Venetian is going to Oxford, but it is a 3rd year now about to graduate. Oliver sees her first instead of Felix, is possibly enamoured by the way she dressed and how much she stands out from the crowd yet has people flocking around her. Venetia loves "real" people, people who aren't afraid to indulge in the filth and grime of life (she was so horny for period sex on a fucking bench in the middle of the garden, girl is a freak. Walked back to her room just covered in period blood while free bleeding. Do not get me started on the vampire scene an how much spit and fluids we were shown)

I don't think Venetia would fall for the "damsel in distress" act that Oliver put on for Felix, she was attracted to a more dominant Oliver who took control of things, who desires her even when she didn't think she was desirable. I think Oliver would go with the same druggie parents angle but maybe not made it so sad and awful on his part. Instead of making it some kind of tragic tale he instead made it a triumphant one. A story about how he was able to escape from his fucked up family and become his own man. He probably will mention his sisters but make them the golden child, born before their parents started doing drugs, lived a relatively normal childhood ane moved out as adults leaving oliver all alone. Because fundamentally, Venetia knows that in her family she will always play second fiddle to Felix the golden son, she will never be the center of attention. But maybe she can bew someone, because if this poor broken boy with druggie parents who lives in abject poverty can crawl his way up to become someone of his own making, then so can she. She feels a kinship with Oliver, being the unwanted child, she finds him real and refreshing, raw and rough around the edges in a way her other aristocratics friends are not. I think this version of Oliver would be much messier and also more assertive less passive because Venetia loves mess, she's a mess herself after all, and she likes someone who can deal with her mess unflinchingly, and maybe even love her inspite of it.

And for Farleigh, oh Farleigh, he was antagonistic right from the start. He's just itching for a fight with anyone and everyone, lots of anger in him, justifiable anger really having to live with the Cattons treating him like their special charity case. From the first tutorial scene with Oliver, you can see that Farleigh likes the Oliver fights back. He's intrigued that this no name boy from bum fuck no where has the wit to spit fire right back at him. I do think that if Oliver just kept being a little bitch Farleigh would eventually start noticing him. My personal interpretation is that Farleigh dislikes the little helpless boy act that Oliver does with Felix, it might remind him a little to much of who he used to be or it makes him think about what the Cattons want him to be, the perfect victim charity case they can help.

I don't think Farleigh could really become friends with Oliver, they're too similar but also too different. Frenemies with benefits certainly because he was obviously physically attracted to Oliver. Oliver probably wouldn't have to lie about his family to Farleigh, he obviously isn't interested in that. Oliver would just need to continue to be a scathing little bitch. They can shit talk Felix behind his back to each other, a common enemy(friend) if you will.

This quite possibly makes absolutely no sense at all it's really just a word salad, but I just needed to get it out of my brain.

[neriyon]

Oh right I said something about giving my opinions on the expansion so uh, I guess I should start writing them out now.

Obiviously spoilers for the entirety of Dawntrail MSQ!!!

Tbh I don't know where to start iuefhiuefh.

Uhhh graphical update turned out nice! Out of the 3 of us, me and Shu kinda questioned if the update even happened since Hawu'li and Dre were virtually same as before, and Nana (player) kept mentioning how cute Nana (character) looks now. My only complaint is that Hawu'li's eyes are like one or two shades darker than they used to be, and I'm currently kinda debating if I want to bother using fantasia to fix it.

Enviroments look nice, and while I'm yet to go to many of the old areas (I sent Shu to go look at Il Mheg while me and Nana sat in que and it looked very nice), new areas are gorgeous! All of us literally screamed out loud when we noticed that the grass bends when you touch it haha. I'm also personally fan of the little tilt thing mounts do now if you strafe - it's very satisfying and I keep strafing around just to see my bike or flying mount tilt (❁´◡`❁)

As for story: I'm genuely surprised to see posts that some people didn't like it? I wouldn't call it my favorite expansion, but to me the story was good and the characters enjoyable. Only thing I'd complain about is that the pacing is very funky at times: first few areas are fine, then it slows down to a crawl, then speeds up very quickly to again slow down to almost complete halt before things pick up again. I still fail to care too much about the "cowboy area" - it felt very disconnected from everything else. Kinda same with the moblin area, but at least that place had some connectivity to the competition (+ the kidnap plot).

Meanwhile the "blue area" (sorry about the terms iauefhhu I don't have game open rn and I am chronically incapable of remembering any names) felt rushed: we wander in, no one wants to talk to us, then suddenly the big antagonist up till that point just goes "hey uh our culture's fucked, if you wanna change it I'll help". Imo that could've used some more time. Maybe have the Wuk Lamat instance happen earlier, and have the big lizard man think about things a bit longer, just to make it feel like he didn't change his entire worldview in like, half a quest.

As mentioned, cowboy area felt incredibly boring to me and I honestly don't know why. Catboy tribe was fine - I'd rather go spend more time with them. Their whole thing was pretty rushed, and while I have a small feeling that they'll be part of the patch storylines, I'd liked if we had been given a bit more time with them before things went to hell again.

Heritage found, Solution 9 and all that was better paced and the storytelling there was great! Like seeing one of the npcs forget about the old dead lady within seconds felt very horrifying. Shu and Nana haven't gotten that far yet (I finished the story on my own after returning home), but I remember spamming groupchat with "what the fuuuuuck that's so fucked" and stuff like that lol. Attack on Tuliyollal too, I think I have a few screenshots saved of npcs I noticed crying after dead loved ones on the streets right after it. Devs did great job portraying how scary the entire thing was.

What else uhhhh.... oh right the last area. Absolutely gorgeous again, and I do get the lore reasons, but damn does it suck having the areas go all lifeless if you want to finish story. I was looking forward to taking pictures there in the future :/ I did try and take some quick shots everywhere before going forward, but I'm sure I missed something. Probably have to get new game+ to that point when DT gets added there just for more screenshot locations.

This is already getting long but idc I'm rambling about characters too. Erenville sweet baby boy I am so sorry the entire last half became a personal nightmare for you (┬┬﹏┬┬) But we got to see him smile! Like actually smile not just tiny smirks! (I should have screenshot of that too lol) They better not write him completely out after this, I wanna go on adventures with him - something that doesn't leave him traumatized maybe.

Also pushing every Wuk Lamat disliker out of the way to hang out with her more. She was a very fun character, and I loved the fact that she actually went and did things on her own, not waiting around for WoL to save her every time like many of the npcs tend to do. She and Hawu'li are besties now.

Green G'raha Koana was a positive surprise too! Smart and a bit snobbish catboy who's bad with his feelings, but makes effort to learn and grow for his people and sister. Absolutely loved him getting very angry when Wuk Lamat was in danger - nerdy cat can go little feral, as a treat. Definitely added into Hawu'li's ever growing polycule - not into his bracelet yet, but they defenitely kissed during msq and probably started (casually) going out after.

Sphene... I really like her dress lol. Uhh I personally felt she was very sus from the start, but I feel like Hawu'li would've not picked up on those. Her plan would've come as complete surprise to him, and made him very very sad. Hawu'li's very "there's always a way if we just try hard enough" type of person, and being told that it's either having everyone else in the universe die or having the Endless die would've seriously got him feeling down for some time. Being a WoL means killing people to protect others sometimes, he knows that, but still. Luckily he had people there with him, who will keep supporting him, but he'll most likely need a little vacation after all this. (Luckily the Tuliyollali inn room is perfect for that haha)

Aaaand lastly, some random thoughts all tossed in no particular order since I can't ramble in the tags:

"This old man (Ketenramm) has more HD face than all of us combined D:" - me

*him saying something about being more than a guest to Gulool Ja Ja* -> me, quietly whispering in vc: "old man yaoi..."

Whomst the fuck did Zoraal Ja get his kid with??? There wasn't a single other lizard in Solution Nine, and I don't remember seeing any in Heritage Found either. Hell, none of the Alexandria flashbacks show any lizard people either. Did he just get some random hyur lady off the street? If yes then what happened to her? Did she die in childbirth? Got killed by Zoraal Ja for whatever reason?

Tiny jumpscare when milalla lore started saying stuff about "calamity that froze everything" and "came from somewhere else" and I, for a tiny second, feared they'd give some canon lore regarding Sixth and I'd have to go rewrite bunch of things in my own lore for the place. (luckily saved by msq mentioning the most likely came from source)

Happy that they gave us the alpaca mount for free! It's so adorable.

Sad that I had to use 7,5mil gil to get the purple bike mount 😑 I mean Hawu'li is swimming in money since I rarely buy anything (last "big buy" was that golden sheep), but muh money. At least it's a neat mount

They really went "you feel like you aren't needed healers? say no more, heal checks for everyone!". Last time I had to sweat that much on trial fight was Zeromus - DT made every trial pretty intense to heal.

That last trial holy fuck my brain is NOT big enough for it. I somehow survived with only one death (we wiped within like first 30 seconds lol), but god it was so stressful

Dungeons were generally neat, but I noticed a distinct "fuck mages and anyone with long cast times". So so much movement in almost every fight.

"En Avant saves lives" is true for the whm dash skill too. That skill is the best thing we've gotten in ages, it's saved me so many times when I notice I'm in wrong spot at the very last second.

SCREE BOSS! I was so happy when I save it omg. The boss before that sucked but seeing scree made it all better. (Our party immediately went "scree!" in chat lol)

Haven't seen all dungeon drops yet, but craftable/vendor gear is a bit meh. Happy for people who like those Mad Max bondage sets, but I'm not a fan. 98 gear being recolored Ironworks gear was not on my bingo list, but at least the healer top was nice for the few levels I wore it during leveling.

Login ques haven't been too bad! Idk how it goes on NA servers, but on Lich longest que I've seen after the launch (right after launch we had 2,8k que) is like, 40.

Dungeon ques were nonexistent on whm during msq, but now that I'm trying to level dps I regularily get 40 minute waits. Kinda debating if I should just switch to sch and level summoner with that, then swap back and learn to play it on like last dunegon or something.

Fates seem to give like half a mil exp (exp boosted ones give double iirc), so I've just been doing them while sitting in que.

Yet to try picto or viper but they look fun.

Azem mark on the key thing just before the final fight made me immediately think about Eleos coming to help his lovely little shard again 🥺

Koana has very nice jp voice, but I can't shake the feeling I know it from somewhere. Apparently I managed to get a screenshot of credits where his VAs are shown and *jazz hands* his seiyuu is Kaito Ishikawa. So it's probably his role as Iida (BNHA) that I'm recognizing since I've been watching bnha while eating for past few weeks. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh right and since I mentioned that N'jinh would go with Hawu'li this time: I'm slowly putting everything together after MSQ but I think he'll come along right from the start. Tural catboy lore doesn't fit him too well lol.

[candy-pants]

SORRY I WAS GONE FOREVER i kept meaning to send you something and then the days just kept ending before i could 😭 i will try to do one every day from now on. i like some of dove cameron's music!! what's your favorite song? what direction do you want to see her go in next?

also i don't know very much about international disney shows, who's diego? why do you love him so much?

all good! i went back to work this week so i'll be a little less active during the day but i'll make sure to answer your asks

i'm a HUGE fan of remember me!! it's the 🌟 vibes 🌟 like. no shoes dancing round your living room.... yeah

although her newer music isn't really my style i really like what she's been doing with bad idea and girl like me, i think they're a lot more sonically interesting than breakfast, for instance, which lbr wasn't nearly as good as boyfriend, so i'd like to see her play around with those sounds a little more and just. not try to recreate boyfriend 'cause that's not gonna happen lol

diego is this little shit right here:

he's the main antagonist and 1/3 of the love triangle in s2 of violetta. i love him because 1) he's such a clown and never takes anything seriously but GOD he's so charismatic 2) he's so so so well written like he starts out as this womanizer jerk and as the season progresses we start really disliking him for the fucked up stuff he does, but then we find out his motivation for all that, which isn't an excuse at all, but it makes him more human and the audience can really empathize with him, plus he has a phenomenal redemption arc in the last 30-ish episodes of the season. he's BY FAR the best written character in the show and no i won't take criticism, i truly feel like he was treated so well by the writers even in s3 when he takes a bit of a back seat

also i can't not talk about how he maybe wouldn't be as convincing of a character if diego domínguez yep same first name hadn't played him because you could really tell he cared and understood him and had the acting chops to do it

[fanfic-lover-girl]

What an impressive list OP! I agree with most of these. JKR dropped the ball in several instances when it came to her characters, especially her non-white characters. However, I want to add to or play devil's advocate for some of these points for fun.

Despite Dobby being a beloved character, he is also seen as an anomaly for desiring freedom, and many other House Elves are depicted as grotesque, fawning, ridiculous or sinister.

What makes Dobby's depiction worse is that his fawning behaviour is perfectly ok when it's done for Harry, the protagonist. Harry becomes a slave owner and suddenly it's okay to own elves. Harry starts to treat Kreacher with the bare minimum decency and Kreacher loves him now. What garbage. I wish Kreacher found a way to poison the brat. Would have made things more interesting.

Rowling has openly admitted that she created a detailed backstory for Dean Thomas, one of the series’ few black characters, but did not include it in the books and included the backstory of Neville Longbottom, a white character, instead.

I don't see this as an issue. Dean is a minor character and has little relevance to the plot. Dean and Harry were hardly friends. Considering Neville was a chosen-one candidate, it makes more sense to have his backstory fleshed out instead of Dean's. If I were to chose a black character to get a backstory for, I would go for Kingsley since he is a bigger player in the story.

Approving the casting of a white actress in the role of Lavender Brown in the films, a character the majority of readers assumed was black.

I don't see an issue with this either. Honestly, I would argue it could be just as racist to make a character black just because their last name is "Brown" or "Black". It's just a last name with hardly any significant meaning behind it like "Malfoy" or "Black". If JKR wanted to make Lavender a white girl, I don't see the issue. It just sucks that they tossed the black actress out. I think they should have just kept her. If Daniel can play Harry with blue eyes, I don't see why a minor character like Lavender needed a recasting.

The portrayal of Blaise Zabini’s “famously beautiful” black mother who was known for offing her husbands and taking their money. Like. Come on. Tbh she sounds like a queen but violent woc gold digger is still a shit trope.

I don't see this is an issue to talk about either. Blaise's mom sounds cool and I kind of like the idea of this femme fatal black woman. Honestly, I have never heard of the woc gold digger trope. When I think of gold diggers, I think of white women. Especially the white women who marry rich black athletes. Black characters don't have to be portrayed as pure characters all the time. We need interesting black grey characters. A lot of times, antagonists and villains are even more memorable and iconic than the heroes. If Blaise's mom were white, it would just be another rich white pureblood woman.

Ways J.K Rowling did poc dirty in canon:

Making the last name of one of her most powerful black characters “Shacklebolt” - a crude af reference to slavery and just in very poor taste.

Naming her only east Asian character “Cho Chang” - a Korean surname as a first name for a Chinese character - proving she did no research whatsoever into Chinese naming traditions.

Cho’s characterization also leans in to the trope of tragic Asian female characters being defined by their romantic connections to white men, as in “Miss Saigon” or “A Quiet American.” Cho’s storyline centers on her romantic involvement with Cedric, Harry and Roger Davies. She gets no meaningful arc of her own.

The sidekick-ification of Lee Jordan.

Michael Corner being referred to as “the dark one” which is bad enough, and then him being whitewashed in the films.

Pansy Parkinson’s comment about Angelina Johnson’s braided hair looking like “worms” goes completely unpunished. Rowling treats this as standard bullying instead of a racially-charged comment. Rowling clearly didn’t understand the serious implications of this comment and its rooting in deeply-ingrained discrimination against black hairstyles, or she would have written a similar reaction to this as she did to that of Hermione being called a “Mudblood.”

House Elves as a metaphor for slaves is highly problematic because they are depicted as “liking” their enslavement and being complicit in it, much like the black slaves in “Gone With The Wind.” Despite Dobby being a beloved character, he is also seen as an anomaly for desiring freedom, and many other House Elves are depicted as grotesque, fawning, ridiculous or sinister. Pretty garbage metaphor for black slaves.

In Goblet of Fire Rowling describes a group of “African” wizards wearing “long white robes” and “roasting what looked like a rabbit on a bright purple fire.” This is just… *sigh* The way this is worded is very clearly just token exoticism and includes no genuine detail about their clothing, cultural food or nationality. It’s just “wow those zany rabbit-eating Africans and their purple fire.” Once again black characters are being used as examples of otherness rather than shown as human beings.

Rowling has openly admitted that she created a detailed backstory for Dean Thomas, one of the series’ few black characters, but did not include it in the books and included the backstory of Neville Longbottom, a white character, instead.

Approving the casting of a white actress in the role of Lavender Brown in the films, a character the majority of readers assumed was black.

The portrayal of Blaise Zabini’s “famously beautiful” black mother who was known for offing her husbands and taking their money. Like. Come on. Tbh she sounds like a queen but violent woc gold digger is still a shit trope.

Just the entire treatment of the Patil twins at the Yule Ball, the way Harry and Ron treated them and Rowling’s garbage attempt at describing their traditional clothing.

Padma Patil’s portrayal in Cursed Child as the stereotypical controlling Indian wife. The idea of ending up with her instead of Hermione being positioned as some kind of horrible alternate reality for Ron had very xenophobic undertones, and while Hermione is portrayed as black in the play, I don’t believe that Rowling originally intended her to be a black character nor that casting directors deliberately set out to cast a black actress as Hermione in Cursed Child initially.

[perpetual-fool]

-

Starting serious work on my conlang, and got swindled into watching a show.

I've worked out that fundamental meaning has to be a function between observations. I think I can abstract that to 'arguments' and 'premises', but I need to work out data types, what sort of things there are which could be premises. It shouldn't be that complicated, but I'm finding it hard to wrap my brain around it for some reason. I think that's because I'm trying to sort out my existing understanding, and much of that has been corrupted.

I kept seeing clips of the show online, it suggested something interesting was happening. Problem is, it's not, nothing's happening. Like, I would have to start with how things are, then see what develops from that. Instead, it's like characters are sort of vaguely pantomiming a plot, except the plot doesn't fit the circumstances or the characters. Like for instance, the character known for wantonly killing decided to spare the main antagonist for no reason, so that the antagonist can come back and antagonize later. And also there's no justification for the antagonist to antagonize, and everyone is trying to kill each other despite the fact that all of them are trying to achieve the same thing. Or, character makes a heartfelt plea to convince someone of something, but say nothing specific and make literally no argument about it. That is, there is no causal relationship between how the world is supposed to work and what's happening in the plot.

And I'm wondering if this is just a sloppy version of what actual people do. It does mirror a lot of their behavior. Ya' know, the truth is true whether or not it's valid, or whether it happened, or whether it even could happen. And the equation isn't that complex. If they're not starting from the premises then they must be starting from the argument. Oh! say, arguing over whether the ends justify the means. an argument without its premises. I have wasted so much fucking time trying to make myself understood. Last attempt, I had this whole thing about multiple phrasings, examples, counter-examples. But none of that will fix communication if the other party is actively trying to destroy it. Ambiguity for instance, I'm pretty sure that's a feature and not a bug. Like, off the top of my head I know three different versions of "argument", and they'd would decide which one(s) I meant here to justify imposing what they want onto me. That was actually the thing that tipped me off to the fact that it's them and not me. I'd clarify 'I mean term(a), not term(b)' and then they responded as though I meant term(b).

Honestly the most disappointing thing for me about season 2 is that they still refer to the timelines as 'sacred' or 'branched'. So like, (spoilers for Loki S1) the deal with 'the sacred timeline' was that it's the one He Who Remains came from, what was or was not a 'branch' and who was or was not a 'variant' was defined by HWR. But now HWR is dead, the terms no longer have any meaning. Every timeline is a branch, everyone is a variant. So it's like the writers don't even have the most basic grasp on their worldbuilding. Somehow that feels more significant to me than bad setups or nonsense plot. I guess maybe it was the most engaging thing they had going. Like, what's most interesting for me is when I have to reframe how I think about things. I'd love to hear a take on time travel that's not just 'the past rewrites the future' or 'there are parallel timelines'. Say, the scene where Loki is talking to OB in the past, and as it's happening in the past he remembers it in the future: if they'd actually justified that somehow that'd be cool. (Aside, variations of "you can't actually change anything" are cop-outs.) It makes sens that they wouldn't, you'd need to come up with an alternative causality, which would be difficult to impossible. But it'd be fun.

[murderluv23]

Something I didn't notice upon my first viewing of the recent Helluva episode is Striker's expression when Blitzo confronts him.

Now I may be grasping super hard at straws but-

Hear me out-

This face- stuck out to me when I saw it. While it's clear Striker is thinking "Oh shit, I've been caught" here there's something about it that makes me feel as if it isn't just shock and fear he's feeling due to being discovered. When Blitzo reveals himself, Striker looks back directly at him then looks down with an air of panic. Instead of immediately switching to an expression of frustration or hostility. He literally takes a second to pause upon seeing who it is that caught him about to do the deed.

I personally found that to be rather out of character for him based on what we've seen of him so far, at least. The fact that he looks even the slightest bit bothered or even dare I say- guilty after sparing a glance at Blitzo speaks volumes about how he actually feels. If we believe that Striker was being entirely genuine about respecting Blitzo as an individual, then this single shot tells a story.

Considering this frame, the scene after holds a whole different context. Striker plays off his intial shock and goes back to his usual bravado, saying how now Blitzo seems disappointed in him. Again, if he does think respectively of Blitzo like he claims, then those last brief seconds can also read as "Shit, now I'm going to have someone I respect think less of me. Quick, think of something!"

Striker clearly does not like letting his guard down around others. He always has to be charismatic, taking up the spotlight, always the strongest guy in the room no matter what. An easy explanation for that could be well- his looks. Unless there's some subspecies of imps we haven't seen yet, Striker is very visibly not like others and even less so with his reptilian like attributes. That couldn't have been an easy thing to grow up with and Striker may have started to overcompensate with the skills he has now so others wouldn't look down on him. Then roles in Blitzo who started his own business and is kicking ass at it.

And if we believe the possibility that Blitzo is a mix of some other demon species (I personally don't buy those theories myself but let's just say this is the case), then Striker likely sees this as a gold mine that just dropped in his lap. A tough, mixed imp with a successful business. Someone who can get his point of view, understand him. Striker can see himself in Blitzo and that's likely never happened before. But oops!

Now the guy is pissed at him because he feels betrayed. He lost the chance to gain a partner that could possibly understand him on a deep level as quickly as he gained it. The words Striker say before Moxxie shows up stands out even more to me after seeing this face. Sure, it could just be pure manipulation here. He did try to stab him in the back later.

But given how much genuine fun Striker seemed to have with him during the competition, he truly could believe Blitzo deserves better than to be doing sexual favors just to keep his business afloat. Blitzo kept up with him in pretty much all of the challenges and earned his place as someone he acknowledges as commendable.

I also think it's interesting that as far as we know, Striker is completely alone in his endeavors. While Blitzo at least has his employees, Loona, and Stolas to an extent. Blitzo, while he talks a big game, is a lot softer and more openly affectionate in his own way despite being brushed off most of the time. Striker is a lot more hardened and distant even while being the center of attention. If I'm correct in how he may have been treated because of how looks, then Striker is very used to putting up walls to protect himself, even more so than Blitzo.

I just- feel like this expression was hinting at something else he may have been feeling.

Idk, perhaps this was an instance of very subtle characterization that is already adding and hinting to more depth of my second favorite antagonist so far.

OR more likely Striker was just startled and frustrated that he was caught and is just a two faced asshole (love him either way).

(Sum up: aka I really love Striker to the point I overanalyzed the fuck out of this one scene and am itching for a character arc and possibly character development to get to know him better and see if he ever evolves.)

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb. 

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

 It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending. 

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.  

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

 Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up  basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought  their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

[august-persona]

More Witch Week Epiphanies (I'm losing track at this point)

Some time ago, I wanted to write a little essay (I feel weird calling it an "essay," makes this sound scholarly and not at all like the ramblings of a hyper fixated 15-year-old, but that's what it is) on the queer-coding in Witch Week. I got very busy and sort of forgot about it. Recently, I've been thinking about it more, and realizing just how much mental health plays into the themes of Witch Week as well as homophobia.

In the world of Witch Week, you cannot tell a witch just by looking at them. Witchcraft is not tied to any ethnicity, sex, religion, etc. Anyone could be a witch and you'd have no idea unless they told you. Of course, some people seem to be more obviously a witch than others. Everyone assumes Nan is a witch (and they are right), but even then they really have no way to be sure. There's also the way that witch history is banned, stifled, twisted to fit a certain narrative. The book asserts that this is all very wrong. Witches cannot help being born witches. It's simply not healthy for a society with so many witches - a society where witchcraft is intrinsic to so many people's lives - to persecute that witchcraft so harshly.

Now replace the words "witch" and "witchcraft" in that paragraph with "gay, queer, lgbtq+."

The themes of Witch Week are very relatable to the lgbtq+ community. You cannot tell that someone is gay or otherwise just by looking at them. There are people who are assumed to be queer based on how they act or look (and you might be right), but there's no way to be sure. Anyone of any ethnicity, sex, religion, etc., could be lgbtq+.

Lgbtq+ history, similarly to the history of witches in this story, has also been frequently banned, stifled, twisted to fit a certain narrative by society at large.

Homophobia is harmful. It hurts everyone living within a society where these bigoted mindsets are the norm, even straight and cisgender people.

Now, onto the topic of mental illness. It was no new revelation to me that many - if not all the kids - at Larwood House have, or at the very least exhibit some symptoms of, various mental disorders. The book even says at the beginning that Larwood House is a school for witch orphans and children with "other problems." Nan is schooled at Larwood House because she is a witch orphan; Charles is schooled at Larwood House because his parents sent him there, presumably due to his "other problems." The book was a bit vague on this. It mentions Charles becoming standoffish after his encounter with the second witch, and his parents being concerned that he was a bad influence on his siblings, but there are certainly more elements at play.

Along with being queer-coded (more on that some other time) there are many instances in the book where Charles is obviously in a dissociated state. Charles often references this 'other part' of himself, which splits away from him when he is distressed. Sometimes Charles floats away while the other part of himself does the talking and walking and such; in other instances Charles is present but aware that a split has occured.

Charles clearly has a personality disorder, one which is probably the result of his traumatic childhood experiences and further exacerbated by Larwood House's awful environment. He has no good friends, and his emotional needs often go unchecked by teachers and peers alike. Charles often wonders how no one ever seems to notice when he 'splits.'

You cannot tell that someone is mentally ill, or neurodivergent (some mental disorders aren't so harmful to one's life that they are ill) just by looking at them. Anyone of any ethnicity, sex, religion, etc., could have a mental disorder. Of course, some people seem more likely to have a mental disorder than others based on the symptoms they exhibit, but even then you may not know for sure what exactly is going on.

The only time anyone realizes something is up with Charles, is when he self-harms in view of the boys in his dorm. Even then they only conclude that Charles must be pretty stupid to do such a thing to himself, and think not much more than that.

Then there's the ways in which mental disorders have been demonized (and more recently romanticized, but that's a whole other beast) and twisted to fit narratives in mainstream culture which are often harmful to people with those disorders - should the concept of mental disorders and neuro divergence even be addressed in the first place - in order to cater to a neurotypical audience and a society which would often like to promote the idea that people with trauma and mental turmoil should simply choose to be unaffected by these sufferings, and should the "mentally ill" ever display symptoms or behavior deemed to be inconvenient due to their disorders, it is a moral failing on their part and not a failing of their caregivers and authority to provide them with help.

Or, that the mentally ill simply need to be locked up because they are no use to society; or even done away with entirely because how could they be any more than inconvenient, and quite possibly dangerous.

In cases of people whose disorders are not harmful to themselves or others, there is often an idea that their unusual behavior must be 'fixed' (got rid of entirely) to prevent inconvenience.

These are attitudes often applied to lgbtq+ folks as well. That queerness is a moral failing, or that queer people need to be locked up, or that their queerness must be 'cured.' If not considered a sin, homosexuality was considered a mental illness for a very long time. 'Homosexuals' were thought to be dangerous, and best kept locked away or done away with. Then there's the "trans women are actually just predatory men" storyline that's been unfortunately popular lately.

Parents are still kicking lgbtq+ kids out onto the street, telling their own children they're going to hell. Lgbtq+ kids are still being sent to conversion camps in some places. Lgbtq+ people are still bullied, killed, arrested, executed, around the world.

Mental disorders and neuro divergence is a present aspect of many queer people's lives. And no, not because homosexuality = derangement - but because some people with mental disorders just so happen to also be queer; or due to the fact that queer people tend to be more susceptible to trauma, end up developing mental disorders more frequently.

What's interesting about Witch Week is that Charles' disorder is not linked to him inherently being a witch, but to how his witch-phobic society traumatized him and led him to develop his disorder.

That's pretty neat. Consider the sheer quantity of media which depicts queer and queer-coded characters as being deranged. Even when the narrative does not outrightly state "gay = psycho," the connection is still made in the viewer's mind, overtly or subconsciously. And rarely is the distinction made that the Evil Psycho Gay ended up mentally ill not because of the fact they're gay, but because of the way their homophobic culture traumatized them.

Then there's Witch Week, a book featuring a subtle but excellent portrayal of a child living with an unaddressed personality disorder in the character of Charles; a character who also happens to be queer-coded; a character who is not the antagonist, but one of the protagonists; in a book which makes it altogether very clear that it is not the fact that any of these characters are inherently witches (witchcraft = lgbtq+) that they lash out in ways that are harmful to themselves or others, but that these harmful behaviors are perpetuated by the bigoted society they live in.

[isagrimorie]

Spyfall 2

Commentators: Jodie Whittaker, Sylvie Briggs (Ada Lovelace), Chris Chibnall

Much like the Doctor doesn't like being alone, Jodie also isn't keen on doing scenes alone.

Chibnall actually did consult with his brother in law, who is very knowledgeable in aviation, about landing planes without a cockpit. And it is possible to do so remotely, people will be surprised how a lot of modern planes are actually flown by a computer. I'm not surprised, my dad's a pilot and he told me a lot of modern aircraft are actually flown more by the computers than the pilots. It's a two edged sword tho because then the pilot becomes too over reliant on the autopilot, and that's when accidents happen.

The scene with Ada and Thirteen meeting in the Kasaavin dimension was actually Sylvie's (Ada Lovelace) final day. Her first day was waking up in 'Paris' with Thirteen.

Interesting comment about how the Doctor's rhythm and speech changed dictated by the period of time she's in. It's modern but enough to sound period.

The hall the Doctor and Ada are in is a school, the dining hall.

The Master and his Top Hat! Jodie and Sylvie are both admiring how Sacha commanded the room and how genuinely terrifying he was. 'He (Sacha) rehearses in a way physically you kinda know what he's gonna do but emotionally its different.'

Jodie: "We're the same height, well you can see it 'cause we are but what is really ace is bein' able to eyeball somebody, because very often when you have a standoff with someone there's usually one's looking up, one's looking down or whatever but to be absolutely--"

Sylvie: "Because that changes the power dynamic."

Jodie: "Yeah."

Chibnall: "I never clocked that."

[snip]

Chibnall: "But I wonder if that's what makes it feels so much like your Master, your antagonist, your nemesis. It's like... that's interesting about the eyeline."

Jodie: "Cause in the scene obviously with Lenny outside like this (does something we can't see) and I like doing that thing of scrunching up and kind of, y'know, I suppose the.. doing that thing that kids do headstrong where the body leans forward. But with this two its (growls)."

Chibnall was uncertain about writing the kneel scene, Jodie agrees and didn't like it, Sylvie mentions that it feels epic to her. Chibnall:"There's something about your perfromances that makes it feel epic. But it's just that two-hander."

In the kneel scene, when they were filming, to keep the secret of the Master's identity, Jodie called Sacha 'Myka' instead of Master.

Jodie: "I like my bowtie." Chibnall: "Are you angling for the return of the bowtie?"

Jodie: "Every set, I try to knick something." LOL.

I love how Jodie compliments Sylvie, and I agree she fits the era very well. And an instance where costume (corset especially), and the hair all tied back helps get into character.

Ada really had episodes of paralysis, and one of the jumping off points for Chibnall's story.

Sylvie and Jodie comment on how lovely it was to have scenes with three women and not about 'Hey three women! Let's talk about being women! It's (their gender) is absolutely irrelevant to it but it is really lovely to have just three women. The kind of craziness Doctor Who brings with Ada in period clothes, the Doctor in a tux, and Noor in her period appropriate clothes.

They go on to discuss the Master's SS uniform and how it makes them (Sacha included) shudder because of what the uniform represented. And it's more of a reflection of the Master because he just treats wearing the SS uniform as a dress up without accounting for the implications and history of it. An alien tourist playing dress-up. [ED: I think the optics of this is still problematic I think it's something we need to acknowledge..]

There really was a point where Jodie and Sylvie were under the floor boards with people walking above them, and they held each other's hands because that experience was awful. On page it was very cool, but in execution. (Ed: I love that scene the whole way where there's a tense standoff between Noor and the soldiers, and the Master. And the steeliness of Noor just staring them down even with the soldier strafing the floor.) Chibnall wants several films with Noor Inayat Khan.

OMG. There was a point in the shoot where the Doctor was supposed to speak in perfect French, and Jodie joked that she already didn't speak English very well, and so she practiced speaking her line just to get the accent perfect... only for it to be cut for time. I WANT DELETED SCENES NOW.

Scanning through the Spyfall 2 script there's no mention of the scene where the Doctor speaks in French which really just confirms my suspicion that the scripts are not the shooting scripts, or at least the copies the actors use.

So, Chibnall gave the production several possible locations hoping to bring the budget to manageable scale and then he started writing and he got to the scene where the Doctor and Master spoke and the Master asked where they'd meet and then the Doctor answered; "Where d'you think?"

And Chibnall goes: "Oh they've got to meet in the Eiffel Tower. Production is going to kill me!"

Also, by this it confirms to me that Chibnall, like all of the showrunners is a Doctor/Master shipper, which I should've known already because Jack and Captain John were very much Doctor/Master lite.

Jodie loves doing duologues and is hoping for more two handers in the future, and Chibnall is taking note of that. Two handers where the other person has more of the dialogue... LOL. I guess Jodie really loved The Timeless Children.

[ED: Ada and Noor were such good companions. I want a historical companion for Thirteen next please. Thirteen, Yaz, and a historical Companion!]

Sylvie is so fascinated with the Doctor and Master's relationship, about how complicated it is.

One of the advises RTD gave Chibnall is that 'you can save anything in a line.' LOL. Apparently some of the Master's trauma across 77 years involved tailoring.

Jodie comments on how exciting it is being involved in the costuming, between herself and Sacha, they get to build their Doctors and Master's look and shape them. Also Jodie really loves cropped pants.

Jodie and Sylvie love the power walk, the big iconic, backlit smoke walk. The Big Exposition speech.

The scene where the Master arrives in Kasaavin dimension, same day filming for Jodie, and Sylvie too.

Jodie loves all the engineering and carpentry work, and any practical work.

They did do a shoot where they moved forward to a scene where Noor died, but in the edit found a better ending in the one that was broadcasted, and IMO, that was the right choice. Chibnall wants it more that Doctor Who will inspire people to read up more on Noor Inayat Khan and same Ada.

Chibnall didn't want to rob Ada of her agency, that the Doctor helped her discover computers or suggest that she didn't come up with it, everything Ada did she came up with herself.

The scene where Thirteen is alone and contemplating what happened to Gallifrey, Jodie comments how this was one of the few times where she's just very still.

Chibnall: "This is second series Thirteen, the place you take a character once you've done the first act, done in the beginning of your Doctor's second act."

Jodie and Sacha made sure that they're there in person for the scene in the TARDIS because having a stand-in would change the energy and performance of the scene.

Chibnall: "That performance from Sacha, the layer he brings to the Master there, of emotional truth and pain is so fantastic. It's a gift for a writer, and opens up the Master as well. And opens up your Doctor, I think, the trauma's so personal."

Hang on. Chibnall: "Is that the first appearance of the jumper? [ snip] They've come in this second series, its the first jumper. Little tiny changes you and Ray figure out." Are they implying there were more Doctor wearing only her long sleeve jumper we didn't get to see???

Chibnall: "And you got your Doctor theme but also it's the first time you [speaking to Jodie], it's interesting, I deliberately kept them back in the first series so that when you say them here, it's like you're saying 'Gallifrey', 'Kasterborous', 'Master for the first time."

Jodie: But its good that it ends with a: [using the same steely, angry voice]: 'Questions?' Like: 'Back to business, c'mon.'

Chibnall: (watching Thirteen's face subtly change when Yaz asked if they can visit, and it changes from a broken void to a forced smile). "Ohhhh. Why won't you tell them?" (LOL a writer asking his character.)

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Rapunzel’s Return Part 2

Continuing on from part 1 - 

https://rachelbethhines.tumblr.com/post/635068926214258688/tangled-salt-marathon-rapunzels-return-part-1

Summary: When Rapunzel tries to defeat the Saporians by herself she gets captured; but once Varian realizes that the Separatists plan on using one of his potions' destructive properties to destroy Corona, he and Rapunzel work together to stop it.

Let’s Talk About What a Let Down the Sapiorans Are

Throughout seasons one and two the Sapiorans were built up to be this intriguing race of people with a complex past and real problems that are sadly relatable to this day. They had a history, goal, motives, and special abilities like magic.  

Yet all we got was a really bad hipster parody. 

Heck, the crew can’t even keep it’s stereotypes right because they mostly slide into hippy territory instead. Hipsters, Yuppies, and Hippies are three distinctive counter culture movements for three different generations with completely different social concerns and fads. 

Basically Chris tried to “stick it to the kids” again and just wound up insulting his parents' generation instead because he’s that oblivious of other human beings.

And that’s not even taking into account that previously the Sapiorans were living on the run as nomads in caravans not dissimilar to common Romani stereotypes, so the show is once again making negative racial connotations due to thoughtlessness.

Why Do You Have a Secret Underground Room Hidden Behind Your Workshop Xavier?

Like that not a thing normal people happen to have lying around there workspace. We still are given zero explanation for why Xavier has all this plot convenient knowledge and rare unordinary plot useful stuff. 

Given his previous connection to Saporia and Zhan Tiri wouldn’t it not have made more sense to reveal that he is an actual plot important character in season three rather than keep him as just the exposition fairy? 

So Was This Before or After the Saporian Take Over? Cause Either Answer Makes This a Dumb Plan.

Why would the guards, especially Cap, just give up? Did they even bother fighting and then lost to Varian’s weapons or were they told to stand down by a brainwashed Frederic? If they knew something was wrong then why not stay and help? What makes them think they even could find Rapunzel given how no one knew where she was heading and her letters were infrequent? What difference would they think finding Rapunzel would do? 

Basically, just like with the “former cellmate” line, we needed to actually set up and establish this conflict rather than relying solely on exposition dumps. Because what we get here doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It goes against established character and leaves a lot of unanswered plot holes. 

More Promotion of Authoritarianism From the Show

Remember that these are the same people who formed a lynch mob to hunt down a fourteen year old all because the king told them to. The same king who had been lying to them for years and placed their lives and homes in danger for months. The same king who persecuted the poor and orphans for years. Him suddenly sending townsfolk to the mines isn’t anything new, so what are these people’s breaking points? Anyone else would have revolted by now.  

But noooo, they need Rapunzel to do it for them. Cause Rapunzel is royalty and they can’t do anything without royal permission because they’re sheep. Sheep that’s been subjugated for years and conditioned to be afraid of their “beloved ruler”. 

I understand from a meta point of view why you would want your main character to take charge but...

Like this isn’t inspiring.

It’s disturbing. 

Why are we promoting blind loyalty to a person who’s not earned it just because they were born special? In a freakin’ kids show no less! 

Oh and still no one bothers to call out King Frederic’s abuses here, FYI. 

Take Note That Quirineon is Activated By Heat

This will be important later on in the review. 

He’s Already Built Grenades For You. Wouldn’t Those Be Better Because They’re Easier to Control?

He’s already built explosive chemicals for you. You just used them in part one of the episode. And it came in an easy to use form rather than an unstable, and untested, mess that could literally blow up in your faces since no one, not even Varian himself, knows how to control it yet. 

You Don’t Hammer Out a Cast Iron Pan

It’s literally in the word. To make a cast iron pan you pour the metal into a casted mold. You don't hammer it out like you would with a sword or something. And you can’t even go with the “rule of cool” here cause Rapunzel surrounded by molten metal and fire would have been far more impressive looking.  

Yes I’m being picky cause I’m stalling. I don’t care. This is just yet another instance of the crew not paying attention to details like they should. 

Behold The Final Time Eugene Will Ever Call Out Rapunzel’s BS

This is the last time Eugene will hold an honest discussion with Rapunzel like an equal to her. By the end of this episode he will have transitioned into full on doormat mode. 

Also burying negative feelings and not addressing issues is who Rapunzel is. She’s been pulling this shit since day one. It’s what causes 90% of the conflicts in the show. Have you not noticed Eugene?  

So This Episode Has Contradictory “Lessons” 

The episode presents this idea that Rapunzel needs to open up to others and trust again after Cassandra’s betrayal. The problem is that the episode doesn’t follow through on that. It makes a knee-jerk decision to go with a “responsibility” lesson that wasn’t built up to instead at the last minute. 

More on this later.    

Varian Doesn’t Actually Interact With the Saporians at Any Point.

The only person Varian interacts with is Andrew. We have no concept of how he fits in with the rest of the group and what his dynamics are with them. What do they think of Varian? What does Varian think of them? The consequence to this is to further divorce Varian from narrative, even though this is supposed to be his redemption episode. 

As I said in the last part, you can easily write Varian out of this episode and nothing really changes plot wise. That’s bad writing. 

Also I was robbed of Khary Payton and Jeremy Jordan exchanging lines. I was this close to having audio material for my BH6 crossover, dang it! 

Behold The One Time the Black Lady Gets a Line!

I think her name is Juniper? 

You can tell it’s her because of the shadow on the wall.

Anyways they casted this part and only bothered to give the character a single line? What a waste! 

But this just goes back to the series' poor representation. The only WOC in the show are presented as “shifty” and untrustworthy, even when they are ultimately “good guys”. The majority of them are straight up villains tho, and even as antagonists they’re not afforded any real screen time. 

And the only other outright black women on the show is the inventor lady who was given zero respect and the ghost of a barbarian. 

Once again, I don’t think the crew are intentionally racist. I think they’re just sloppy. They wanted to be more inclusive but they failed to actually give voice to minorities behind the scenes and so failed in representing them well. This is a problem with the industry as a whole, not just this one show, and must be talked about as such if we wish to change things for the better. 

None of this “Stuff” Holds Any Real Meaning

We get several callbacks to season one through Cassandra’s personal things that she left behind, but none of this stuff holds any real personal meaning. It’s just there. They wind up triggering these big emotional reactions from both Rapunzel and Cassandra but the audience is just left confused because what they’re crying over are things that have little significance to these characters. Even this line from season one is just dripping with sarcasm and not some pleasant past memory that either Cass or Raps holds dear to their hearts. 

Way To Go, Dumbass

It’s not that she went alone, or that she broke down when it finally hit her that Cass left, that I’m making fun off. The episode already addresses those two points. 

No, what ticks me off is that Rapunzel has taken down killer robots, ghosts, and monsters before now with her magical hair but a handful of regular dudes can just bring her down? I don’t care how much alchemy they got. Depowering your main character for no stated reason just for narrative convenience is poor writing. 

Because If He Didn’t He Would Have DIED, Rapunzel!!!

He literally would have freakin died had he not done something! He was left inside a jail cell to rot away! Before that he was threatened with hangman’s noose! Before that violence from an angry crowd! Before that he was left alone to starve and/or die from exposure! There was no way out for him except to fight! 

And here you are inside the very prison that you kept him in and you still don't have the fucking self awareness to put two and two together! 

This Right Here the Assassination of Rapunzel’s Character and the Killing Blow to the Series

Yeah, and what about after the storm? Hun, bitch!?

We’ve spent two damn seasons watching Rapunzel stepping on people and making excuses for herself and the one time when she should realize her actions are wrong and finally own up to her behavior and she still does not fucking change.

This is supposed to be a coming of age story! That means the main character is supposed to grow and learn shit! But when it matters most, Rapunzel only digs in her heels and refuses to change! 

Why should I care about this character anymore if she’s just going to keep on being selfish no matter what? Why should I bother watching the show if it fails to deliver on its premise? How is this in any way shape or form an appropriate message for children!? 

If you’re watching the series for the first time, then it’ll take awhile to register just how awful this scene is and how it really is the beginning of the end, because they did have time to turn things around after this. But they didn’t, and here we are. 

This Isn’t a Real Apology

It’s not a real apology if all you do is make excuses for yourself. Rapunzel doesn’t address what she actually did wrong here and it has nothing to do with her stupid promise. 

She neglected and enabled the abuse of a child for a year and three months, and she’s not even sorry for it! 

You Were Never a “Friend” Rapunzel

Friends, actually do shit together. They enjoy each other’s company. They care when the other is hurt or in trouble. 

Rapunzel only came to see Varian when she needed him for something. Even now, after this confrontation, that’s all she’ll ever do. She does not actually care about Varian, because the creators will not let her care. 

And Here Comes the Death of Varian’s Characterization

In order to make this stupid, forced, “redemption” work the writers had to do a complete 180 with Varian’s character and his motivations. Instead of freeing his father, seeking revenge, or just, you know, surviving, he now suddenly cares about “being friends” and “being accepted by people”, only he has no reason to want any of that! 

Rapunzel is a shit friend. Heck all the mains are crap friends to him. They ruined his life and the townspeople tried to kill him. Why would he want anything to do with any of these a-holes!? 

Varian doesn’t get assassinated in the same sense as Rapunzel and Cassandra do. He doesn’t suddenly become a hateable dumb douchebag or anything, but he nevertheless has his character retroactively sabotaged by the writing.  

Uh, Were You Not There When Your Dad Rounded Up a Lynch Mob Against Him, Raps?

I believe you were. Also Varian literally told you to your face that he had to go into hiding cause the townspeople were willing to attack him just because those rumors that you failed to stop and pretended not to know anything about. 

Just because the characters shout something repeatedly does not make it true. The audience isn’t dumb. They can remember what happened only two seasons ago. 

Where Was the Inciting Incident For This Change of Heart?

Why should he even want their forgiveness? Why has he given up on freeing his father? Why is he having second doubts about overthrowing the kingdom that persecuted him? 

If you’re going to drastically change a character’s motivations, goals, and moral alignment then you need to present an in story reason for that change. We don’t get that. There’s no inciting incident on screen for us to see the shift in his character development. 

The audience is left to only infer, and that’s poor writing. The audience shouldn’t have to do the work of the writers for them.  Characters’ motivations and goals  should not be guess work. 

The only thing we can glean from this is that he had a change of heart while in prison and that’s a horrifying thing for the show to suggest. That’s basically justifying Frederic’s abuse. It also recontextualizes Varian’s arc into one of submission to his abusers and not one of learning to do the right thing simply because it’s right. 

Once Again, Were You Not There For Season One Rapunzel?

They had a year and three damn months of chances. These people actively tried to do him harm just for simply seeking help. He has no reason to trust them nor you. 

Why Are We Shoulding All of the Blame Onto the Abused Child?

Yes, he did do all of those things, technically, but they’re being presented here without context.

The Queen enabled his abuser who was threatening his life and destroyed his home. He kidnapped her as a last restore when all other methods to get out of his desperate situation failed. 

The princess he threatened neglected him for three months and repeatedly refused to help him, even throwing him out into a deadly snow storm. Despite him being her responsibility, thereby making her neglect a flat out abuse of power.  

He would have died a slow and painful death in prison had he not helped to overthrow the kingdom that persecuted him. 

I’m not going to pretend that what Varian did was right or that he shouldn’t feel sorry for what he did, but this is a highly skewed version of events that are being recounted here just to create bias in the viewers. It’s manipulative writing intended to gaslight the audience. 

Also, why does he even want a second chance!?   

Doesn’t This Undermine The Saporian’s Goals?

The Saporians wanted to reclaim their ancestral homeland so that they would no longer be a displaced people. How does blowing up that homeland help them? 

Season three just throws all logic out the window. There’s barely a single villain who doesn’t undermine their own goals at some point with their stupid actions. 

So Why Varian and Andrew Not Some Other Team Up?

Out of all of the various recurring baddies in the show Varian and Andrew have the least in common. I’m not saying that they couldn’t work together, but doing so required more set up than this. Because as is, this is a very contrived teamup. 

They have diametrically opposed goals and moral alignments. Varian doesn’t bring anything to the table that the Saporaions couldn’t have supplied themselves. Meanwhile the Saporians have failed to offer Varian anything that he could want. 

At best it’s a marriage of convenience for them to both break out of prison together, but even that is contrived because we don't know why neither of them were sent away on the prison barge with the rest of the season one villians.  

Better combinations would have been 

Varian & Lady Caine

Andrew & Lady Caine 

Varian & Cass

Andrew & Cass 

Varian & Zhan Tiri

Andrew & Zhan Tiri

Varian & Hector

The Baron & Varian

Andrew & Staylan 

King Trevor & Varian 

Like there were tons of options here that the writers just ignored, even though any of them would have made more sense than the one they went with.  

The Andrew and Varian Dynamic Can Be Seen as an Allegory for Grooming; Unfortunately the Writers Didn’t Consider That Implication.

Yeah... That’s pretty much what Andrew has done here. He’s groomed this desperate and lonely teen to become a child soldier for him. And one only can only pray that’s all he tried to groom him to do since they were trapped inside a confined and enclosed space together for several months. 

Listen, I don’t mind children’s shows touching upon darker subjects. Often fantasy is a good way for people to process complex themes and uncomfortable real world situations through the safety of fiction. It can even be helpful for those who have had the misfortune to experience certain traumas. 

I’m not complaining that TTS is too dark. 

I’m complaining about it being shit. 

All of the crap Varian goes through is just thrown in there for shock value. It’s not here to commentate on the real world nor provide a complex story. The situations are brought only to then be outright ignored. This isn’t thoughtful nor deep. It’s not meaningful nor heartfelt. It’s just hollow drama done in bad taste. 

You’re Not In a Position to Judge Rapunzel 

You got captured first because you decided to throw yourself a pity party. 

Would He Though?

I’m pretty sure Quirin is very well aware of how shitty Frederic is. If anything I would think he’d be pissed that his son, that he tried so hard to protect, was mistreated in such a hordenous way. 

This isn’t some satisfying ending to Varian’s arc. It’s a heartbreaking revelation that he’s been beaten down by his abusers.  

Varian’s Arc Isn’t Actually About Validation, and Rapunzel Giving It Here Doesn’t Really Change Anything 

I spoke about this before on its own, but Tangled the Series places far too much stock in validation. Yes, it’s an aspect of his character arc, but it’s not the end all and be all of his motivation. It’s not the force that drives him to do what he does. 

His primary goal is survival, both for himself and for his father. His secondary goal is gaining his father’s approval, but that’s not because he’s seeking generic praise, it’s because his father is emotionally distant. The “validation” is a mask for the real issues which are to fix his relationship with his dad and avoid the guilt of having possibly killed him in an accident. 

Rapunzel has fuck all to do with that. 

He doesn’t need to hear approval from her. He needs her to get her shit together and help him! 

Rapunzel’s and Varian’s Situations Are Nothing Alike and Rapunzel Doesn’t Know Jackshit

Rapunzel you were dumped by your bestie because you’re a shitty friend. 

Varian was neglected and abused by those who were supposed to take care of him. 

Unless you’re drawing parallels to how Frederic and Gothel treated you, and even then neither of them denied you basic fucking needs! 

This should be an “Oh Shit! I’ve become just like Mother Gothel” moment for Rapunzel, not an “Oh yay! Someone to share in my personal misery” moment. 

Man, Rapunzel suuuuuucks! 

Also This Still Isn’t An Actual Apology

Once again, Rapunzel is not admitting what she did wrong here. She’s not actually acknowledging Varian’s pain, nor what she needs to do to make admins with him. 

What she’s doing is making things all about herself again. She’s talking about her feelings. About what she is facing. Rapunzel is an incredibly selfish and egotistical person and the show is trying to present this as a positive thing by rewarding her for such behavior. 

Varian’s Redemption Should Have Nothing to Do with “Friendship”

Varian has no reason to want to become friends again with the woman who ruined his life and abused him. 

But more than that, redemption shouldn’t be dependent upon Rapunzel’s friendship, nor even her ‘forgiveness”. Varian should be able to do the right thing just because it’s the right thing, Rapunzel be damned. 

This cheepens not only his character development but also Rapunzel’s development as well. Rapunzel is not allowed to grow as a person and accept that not everyone wants to be her friend, and that people may have valid reasons to hate her even, and that doesn’t make them evil. 

It also rushes through Varian’s arc undermining what the audience had to get through to get to this point.  

OK, Let’s Talk About The Goatee

I wouldn’t have minded the beard had it just not looked like a fucking barcode. There’s production art where it looks fine. But just wiping it away ties back to what I was talking about in part one. It’s denying Varian the chance to grow up. This is supposed to be his coming of age story as well but the crew won't let him do that because “rule of funny” apparently overrides what the characters actually need in order to develop.  

Once again, the show isn’t a sitcom. You can have comedic moments but the comedy doesn’t need to outright undermine the drama. 

Once Again, Shouldn’t Eugene Be the First Person to Jump to Varian’s Defence?

You mean the orphan on the streets who stole stuff and fought to survive when the adults failed to take care of him? Is that what you’re talking about Eugene? Cause if I remember correctly that was you not just three years ago. 

You Mean Rapunzel Needs Him To Make Her Feel Better About Herself

Spoiler alert, but Varian doesn’t actually do anything after this point in the episode. His entire “redemption” is just about making Rapunzel feel better about herself after Cass has rejected her. He’s literally become the rebound. 

How Come Varian Suddenly Became Shorter Just for This Shot?

I know the meta reason is to reflect that scene back in Queen for a Day when Rapunzel promised him that she'd help him before everything went tits up. Where he was also drawn shorter in that episode to make him seem more verunable, but here he’s just suddenly shorter for only two shots and then suddenly back to his usual height. 

Crap like this is why I insist that Varian didn’t actually get any taller in season three. The show just has always been inconsistent with his height and most of the “evidence” for his growth are cherry picked instances where the show drew him smaller than usual for reasons, like here.   

So Where Did They Get That Much of the Explosives and How Did They Get Them So Fast?

Only Varian knows how to manufacture that stuff. Why would he make that much of it if he was still in the experimental phase with it? He’s even surprised that they have so much, so where did they get it? If they made it then, how did they make it so fast? 

So This Plan Goes Nowhere

Spoiler alert: Varian doesn’t actually get to do any of that. In fact he’s kind of pointless for the rest of the episode. 

Why Would the King and Queen Care About a City That They Can’t Remember?

Like this revenge doesn’t make sense. It’s just a contrived way to get Eugene and Lance out of the way.

If the Quirineon Explodes From Being Exposed to Heat Then What Good Does Just Dropping It Do?

Yeah, remember? The stuff explodes when heated. Simply dropping it shouldn’t do anything other than make a mess on the ground maybe. 

All That Build Up and Varian Still Doesn’t Get to Do Anything Useful

Up till this point, Varian was shown to be the most competent threat in the show. Yet here they have him be a screw up twice in a row just for comedy antics and to glorify Rapunzel again. 

If you got to nerf other characters just to make your main look good then you’ve failed to establish your main character as being capable in their own right. 

Remember That This Boy Was Trapped in a Jail Cell With This Guy for a Year!

No, I’ll never be over this.

Andrew is the most directly violent and scummy out of all of the villians in the show. 

If he’s willing to do this now, if he was willing to do this to his ex-girlfriend, then what the heck was he willing to do when he and Varian were trapped alone together? 

So Andrew Just Willingly Sacrifices His Own People Here....Even Though His Goal Was to Give His People a New Home....

People need to use this gif more often when concerning this show and the villains’ ass-backwards plans.

And yes they survive because of Varian alchemy. But that was on accident. Andrew had no way of knowing that would happen. He’s willing to destroy his own people just to blow up his ancestral homeland and for what!? What does he gain from this action?  

The Mind Wipe Kills Frederic’s and Arianna’s Characters; Littraly

Frederic and Arianna are effectively dead at this point. Anything that made them, well them, has been wiped away. Their personalities, hopes, dreams, their on going stories and development, just gone. And we never get them back, even when their memories supposedly return. 

Varian’s Not Even Allowed to Get the Idea On How to Save Corona...In His Own Redemption Episode No Less

This is his episode! We’ve spent two years building up to this point and you can’t even let him help? He’s denied the chance to make up for his own mistakes! Just so Rapunzel can play hero and be a very shallow representation of what a bunch of men think a “strong” woman should be! 

It’s fucking insulting. That’s what it is. 

Making a female character the center of the universe to the point where other people are just props for her is not empowering! 

No It’s Not!!

Uh you wouldn’t even be here had you just fucking helped Varian to being with you dumb bitch! This is very much you and your father’s mess! 

Even now, while pretending to be responsible, Rapunzel can’t actually be responsible and own up to what she did! 

She’s fucking 20 and the 16 year old shows more maturity than her! 

Also Your Hair Can Protect Two People at Once Rapunzel; Remember?

There’s no excuse for leaving Varian out of the action. We’ve been shown multiple times now that Rapunzel’s magic hair can protect her and other people at the same time. 

Having Rapunzel Save the Day By Herself Undermines Everything the Episode Was Trying to Establish

What happened to needing to “trust again” and letting other people help you? Having Rapunzel save the day alone just tosses out the lesson that the show was trying to build up to. 

The show tries to frame this as Rapunzel learning “responsibility” but that also does not work. For one it was never established that she needed to learn that within the episode itself and secondly, she doesn’t actually do anything different from what she usually does. 

Being an action hero isn’t the same thing as being responsible. Being responsible is being considerate of others, doing the borning shit or mundane crap that you hate, and being mature enough to recognize your own failings and admitting when you were wrong. 

So in the end Rapunzel is neither responsible nor more open to others. 

And There’s the Death of Eugene’s Character

Lance, who has maybe exchanged all of three sentences with Raps, is more distrught than the guy that supposedly wants to marry her. This isn’t heartwarming, nor it is growth. It’s just lobotomizing a character right in front of our eyes. 

In this very episode he was worried about Raps going to face the Saporians by herself and was, guess what, fucking right to do so. But he doesn’t give two shits if she gets blown up!? 

Ooookaaaay.....

This is the completion of turning Eugene into a doormat. From now own he shan’t be allowed to have any thoughts or feelings of his own that disagrees with Rapunzel. 

The Eugene we knew is now dead. 

But Of Course the Show Rewards Everyone for Behaving In the Dumbest Way Possible Anyways

Don’t expect any of these grossly out of character moments and oxygen deprived logic to be addressed nor fixed within the show. The series will keep on shoving unearned endings into our facing while insisting that this is positive development. 

How Did Y’all Get Here Before Varian?

Yes, he was left on a roof, but he can climb and y’all were outside of the city. 

Yeah... A Year and Half Fucking Later!

Ok, a year and three months, but that’s still not any better. Worse, all this implies is that Rapunzel would not have ever concerned herself with trying to free Quirin had Varian not broken out of prison. She would have literally left them both for dead and we’re supposed to find her suddenly doing the bare fucking minimum heartwarming and inspiring?

Where Was the Inciting Incident to Use the Decay Incantation for This? 

How did Rapunzel come up with this plan? When did she come up with it? 

When the hurt incantation was first found no one mentioned how it could be used to save Quirin. No one even gave Quirin a thought. Since then the incarnation hasn’t been brought back up, ever. This is a pretty big leap in logic for Rapunzel to suddenly think of this. 

All it highlights how Varian was originally meant to be there to translate the scrolls and incantations in order to establish all this but of course it got cut so now it just comes the fuck out of nowhere. 

Not Letting Varian Have Anything to Do With Saving His Father Is Even Worse Than Not Letting Him Save the Day

This has been his motivation since the beginning. It’s been the driving plot for a season, and now that the time has finally come what does get to do? 

Hold a dang bucket. 

Part of coming up with satisfying endings is following through on what you’ve established. The audience needs closure. Simply freeing Quirin isn’t enough, we need the carthartis of Varian specifically fulfilling his goal. 

I don’t know how to break this to you Chris, but this isn’t Rapunzel’s story. Not this segment of it anyways. It’s Varian’s and it just so happens to connect to Rapunzel’s. She shouldn’t have been center stage for this. 

The Series Blows It’s Load Too Early with the Incantations

This is the last time we’ll hear any of the incantations sung on screen, cause someone in budgeting didn’t know what was important to throw the money at and what was not. 

It’s not bad here, but if we could only hear one incantation only once this season it needed to be in the finale with the final heal incantation. 

Varian Was Right All Along

Also, all this does is justify Varian’s actions in season one. Rapunzel was indeed the only one who could free his dad according to this. For a series that desperately wants to shove all of the blame onto an abused child’s shoulders they sure go out their way to prove him right. 

So How Is the Hurt Incantation Suppose to Work?

There were so many fan theories after this scene because Varian and Quirin don’t respond to the hurt incantation the same way previous characters had. 

No one is gasping for breath, Varian can touch Raps without burning his hands, and Rapunzel can control the direction of her power. ect. 

Turns out there was nothing there, the writers just didn’t know what the fuck they were doing and made the hurt incantation very inconsistent just like all of the magic in this show. 

BULLSHIT!!!

You literally turn into a villain because she gave up on you!!!!

She also didn’t give two shits about you throughout the entirety of season two. 

Why are we just pretending like season one didn’t exist!? 

Why!?

The Note!!!

No It Fucking Didn’t!

Does That Look Like “I’m Proud of You Son” To You?

Chris went on to confirm that, yes, the note did hold more information that then got cut. Pretty much confirming all that we suspected. That Varian was cut from season two and his story hastily shoved back into season three at the last minute. 

Below is the link to the tumblr post he made.

https://cnotes.tumblr.com/post/190534585146/apparently-one-of-the-writers-said-a-while-back

What’s worse is that his defense is such bullshit. The below exchange pretty much sums it all up.

This Doesn’t Actually Resolve Anything and Is Therefore Unsatisfying to Watch

Part of the reason why this conclusion doesn’t work is because it doesn’t actually address any of the problems that they have in their relationship. Quirin never owns up to what he did wrong. There’s no discussion of what Varian was up to while he was entrapped, no conversation about what secrets Quirin hid from his son, and zero admission of wrongdoing on either side.   

Also Varian has done nothing significant to earn those particular words. Saying I love makes sense, but in context saying “I’m proud of you” does not. It doesn’t even work on a meta level cause the episode prevented Varioan from accomplishing anything. 

It’s empty. 

There Could Have Been More Screen Time to Fix This If Not for Season Two Mucking About

https://discord.com/channels/427940661589704715/569296212218347522/777635115978457098

Above is the link to the original storyboards. It doesn’t fix everything but there’s a lot more satisfying emotional beats including adding Ruddiger back in who is suspiciously absent for the entire episode for no stated reason. 

This version was cut due to time. Which, like with the Crossing the Line song, didn’t need to be had they been more effective with their usage of time in season two. 

They also could have had a better conclusion to Varian’s arc in general had he not been cut from season two altogether. 

So What Does Freeing Quirin Add to the Series?

I’m serious. What does freeing Quirin at this point and time do for the story?

It doesn’t add any character development, Quirin just wanders around aimlessly in the background until the finale and even then his part in that is a pointless dead end. Varian doesn’t gain his emotional closure, just empty, hollow “praise”. Nor is he allowed to accomplish any of his established goals. No new lore or history is exposed. No mystery uncovered. 

There’s no reason why this couldn’t have been done later in the season. Provide more tension and keep up the consequences of the characters actions. Give the mains something to do and work on until Cass and Zhan Tiri show up again.  

The only reason why this is here is to wrap Varian’s story up as soon as possible so he won’t “steal Cassandra’s spotlight”. That’s it. He’s rewarded for conforming to Rapunzel’s will and all the fans should shut up and be grateful, at least according to Chris.

I Like This Song But It Wasn’t Needed

It doesn’t add anything to the story. It’s just a generic celebration song. Which would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that we have a limited number of songs, even less than in previous seasons, and the story isn’t over yet. This is the wrong place to put a victory song at. 

Especially when we could have had a song that furthered Varian’s redemption instead.  Yeah, that was cut too. 

So Is Varian the New “Lance” This Season?

He’s right there! This is his dang focus episode! 

Why hire Broadway singers and not let them sing!? Why waste talent and money like that? 

Also These Lyrics!

Did Glenn Slater just not read the scripts before writing the songs? That’s all season three ever does! Give the mains what they want without earning it. Even in this very episode!

So Is This Rapunzel’s 20th Birthday or Not?

Ok I have gotten into many a heated debate about how long season three is supposed to be. And that’s because what the crew says doesn’t match what the series shows us. 

By all accounts this should be Rapunzel’s birthday. According to season two she’s been gone for one year, and there’s the lanterns that they fly specifically on her birthday. 

But no one verbally says it’s her birthday and I’ve heard conflicting accounts from different members of the crew. Some stating that it is her 20th birthday and some disagreeing that it is. 

Well I’ll take what evidence that the show actually presents to its audience on screen over what the cast and crew says after the fact any day of the week, so I’ll be gathering up this evidence and proving by the end that season three is two years not one. 

But the fact that I must comb through series to prove this, the fact that we can even have this debate, and the fact that the crew have to state basic info after the series is over is just proof of the bad writing. 

Fun Fact: Cupcakes Weren’t Invented Until the 20th Century

Yeah, that’s the fault of the OG film, and yeah it doesn’t really mean much, but still it’s one more thing to add to the pile of stuff that doesn’t fit. 

Plus I’m just a hardcore nerd for historical cooking and I like to share my knowledge.  

Yeah But How Can He Trust All of You Again?

You’re the ones who let him down first; repeatedly. And you only started to make things up to him once he became useful to you. What assurance does he have that you won’t mistreat him again next time he’s in trouble or is no longer of any use to y’all? 

Yes, Let NOT Show What the Main Character Is Actually Going Through

Yup, this is “Rapunzel’s show” but we’re not going to let Rapunzel have any focus on her feelings or give any insight into her thought process about what is the main conflict of the series now.

Conclusion

Ducktales was robbed! 

I can’t believe this shit won an Emmy for “best writing.” It utterly fails on every possible level. It fails to be a continuation of the ongoing story and it fails to be a stand alone episode. Even the very structure of the story is fundamentally flawed. The only reason why it’s not the worst episode of the entire series because the finale and the penultimate episodes exist. 

Anyways...I finally made it through. It literally took my entire weekend but I’m finally caught up. Next week I’ll be going back to the usual one episode a week schedule. 

[thewildwaffle]

The Prisoner - Part 4

I was on a roll after part 3 and had this cute little scene pop up into my head. Plus, Garn really needed a moment to rest and take a breath, he’s been through a lot these past few days!

Part 1       Part 2        Part 3

The ship was relatively quiet. Or at least as quiet as a ship can be while bumbling around in space. Perhaps the more appropriate description was that the ship was peaceful. Garn decided that he liked peaceful. He wasn’t sure he understood what it was that he was feeling at first, he’d had so few peaceful moments growing up and working under the Syndicate, but once he figured it out, he decided that it was quite agreeable with him. It seemed to be for Porter as well. His smaller human friend had been recovering quickly after their run-in with Maika the assassin back at the Tupiti Space Port. He could now walk on the leg, albeit with a noticeable limp. Thankfully, it hadn’t seemed to affect his bright and energetic personality, much to Garn’s relief.

Right now though, Porter was asleep. As was Embry, the ship’s medic of sorts. During his time on the ship, he’d been able to piece together a bit more information about his new companions. Embry, he’d learned, had never actually received a medical license. She had training but had never finished. When he inquired more as to why, Embry changed the topic and became much more curt with any further additions to the conversation. Porter was a lot more forthcoming with his backstory. The gist of it was that he’d taken part in some big trading agreement with a private Earth organization and a splinter group from the Bartu Sovereignty that went bad. There’d been some illegal business “under the table” as Porter put it, and he’d been set up as the “fall guy”. The fact that he was a weapons expert and many of the illegal going-ons had to do with the criminal trade of experimental weapons only helped solidify his “guilt” to the authorities that cared. Porter had spent a good part of an entire rotation explaining in great detail how he’d talked, bribed, and fought his way out of the hands of bounty hunters, angry crime lords, sneaking under the radar of law enforcement, and in general living life on the run before he stowed away on The Shasta, this ship, where he met Kaya and Tig.

Then there were those two. The elder human and the kloxan’s story were still a mystery to him. All he’d really gotten to know so far was that they’d been part of a Galactic Confederation crew together. Garn didn’t know much about the Galactic Confederation, other they were considered a continual, pestering antagonist of the Trinn-Har’rups. He’d guarded prisoners of the GC captured by the Syndicate before they faced an unknown, though likely grisly, punishment for the crime of standing in the Syndicate’s way.

Garn felt that among the ranks of guards and soldiers, the Galactic Confederation and those that aligned with them were thought of to be pretentious, power-hungry manipulators. He’d always been around that sentiment, so he never questioned it before. He’d had no need to. Now he was on a ship that had two of them as acting captain and first-mate. Granted they were former Galactic Confederation, so maybe that old profile didn’t fit them. After all, he was now a former guard of the Trinn-Har’rup Syndicate, the stigmas tied up with him probably no longer fit so well either.

And anyway, Porter stayed with them, so they couldn’t be so bad.

Garn rose from the small pile of blankets, pillows, and towels that was currently acting as his bed. Porter had Embry help him scour the ship for as many soft fabrics and items that could be spared to make a spot for Garn to sleep until they could install an actual bed for him. It was nice, but he’d never slept on anything so soft before. Comfortable as it was, between the unaccustomed softness and the overall unfamiliarity that surrounded him, he’d had a hard time finding sleep. As carefully and quietly as he could, he made his way out of the sleeping quarters and down the short hall toward the main hangar room he’d been in when he’d first entered the ship.

The ship was old, but he had to admit that it had been well kept and he’d almost say lovingly maintained. He gave a small half-smile as his eyes ran over the designs in and around the ship. They were outdated. He might even call them antiquated. He liked it though. It felt right and… well he wasn’t sure how else to describe it. Inviting? Warm? Graceful? It was… he felt… like he could belong here. And that made him all the happier.

As he shuffled into the main room, he stood for a moment before he sat down on a bench along the wall to continue processing his thoughts. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there like that, listening to the hum of the ship’s engines and systems when he heard a small quiet grunt to his left. Snapping his eyes open, he searched in the darkness for the source.

His eyes caught a glint of movement from a chair. He felt his fur rise as he instinctively anticipated having to defend himself from an attack. None came though. His brain finally took in what his eyes were trying to see. There was no secret attacker, just human Kaya sitting in a very regal-looking chair. His fur dropped back down and he sighed a breath of relief.

“Sorry I startled you,” Kaya chuckled quietly. Garn could see her shoulders bounce slightly as she shifted in her chair. His eyes ran down her arm. Or where her arm had been. He’d been right earlier that day they’d first met. She hadd stopped what she must have thought was him going to attack Embry. The prosthetic he’d seen her wearing that day and every day since was now no longer attached. Her arm ended just above where her elbow should have been.

After a few tries, he was able to successfully look away. It was hard though. He’d heard humans were capable of surviving attacks or accidents even after losing a limb, but it had seemed like such a far-fetched tale that he wasn’t sure if he’d believed it. The shock alone of having lost a body part was enough to kill many species, but humans, as he now knew, were hardy and stubborn when it came to staying alive and continuing on.

“I… I didn’t realize you were here. I’m sorry I disturbed you,” he murmured as he stood up, feeling like he had intruded on something he shouldn’t have.

“You’re fine, Garn. Sit back down.” It wasn’t a command, it came out softer, like an invitation. He paused and considered that. An invitation. He slowly nodded and sat back down.

“Having a hard time sleeping too, huh?” the human sighed as she leaned further back in her chair.

Garn nodded sharply, then unsure how well humans could see in the dark followed up with a curt, “Yes ma’am.”

Kaya laughed again. “I told you before, you don’t need to call me ma’am.”

“Sorry ma-... uh, sorry. I will try to remember better.”

“It’s okay. I’m sure it’s what you’re used to. I, for one, know old habits die hard.” Her tone was soft and quiet. So unlike the interactions and reprimandings he was accustomed to in his life up to this point.

He settled down a little more, muscles finally starting to drop their worried tension as the two of them sat in the darkness. He eventually relaxed enough that he felt comfortable to break the silence.

“Are you… are you having a hard time sleeping ma- uh, human Kaya?”

She didn’t laugh this time, but Garn could hear the quiet smile in her voice, “We’ll get you through all your formalities yet.” She sighed and stroked her hand over where her left arm ended. “I am. Just some old phantom pains acting up again.”

“Phantom pains?” That sounded serious. Should he go wake Embry?

The worry in his voice must have been picked up because Kaya gently waved him back down as she reached to the counter and picked up a dark mug and sat back in her chair. “My arm may be gone, but sometimes my brain forgets. Sometimes it feels like my arm itches, sometimes it hurts, or at least my brain thinks it does. It doesn’t happen as much as it used to, but still more than I’d like. Especially when I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

She sipped slowly from the mug in her hand. Whatever was in it smelled sweet and calming. Kaya noticed him watching as she lowered the cup and rested it on her lap.

“Mint tea,” she explained. “It helps. Or at least, enjoying a warm cup of it helps me take my mind off the pain.”

Garn nodded silently, not sure what to say. He wasn’t sure what the etiquette was for this situation. He couldn’t take his eyes off her arm and where it ended, but he also knew that for many species, staring for too long at a person could be considered a challenge to a duel, or at least considered rude. Kaya didn’t seem to notice though, more focused on the mug in her hand.

“I brewed it myself,” She continued. “We’ve got a room here on the ship that we’ve filled with plants. It helps keep the air fresh, takes a bit of the strain off the o2 systems. That and sitting in the room or taking care of all the plants helps keep star sickness at bay.”

“Star sickness?” Garn cut in, unfamiliar with the term.

“Void sickness, star sickness, planet separation anxiety, there’s a lot of names for it. It’s not so much a physical sickness, but a mental one. I don’t know how many space-faring races have to deal with it, but it affects humans pretty frequently. It can get pretty nasty too, if it’s not dealt with. I make sure Porter, Embry, and I each spend a chunk of time in the plant room pretty regularly. It’s grounding. And relaxing. Smells nice too. A lot of the plants are, of course, good at filtering the air of impurities, but quite a few of them smell nice. Like the mint, for instance.” She took another sip from the mug and chuckled. “Even Tig likes going in there sometimes. You would think he’d find the humidity levels a pain on the circuits, but he says it doesn’t bother him. I think he finds the plants interesting. Sometimes I notice him laser etching bamboo stalks on packaging scraps when he’s bored.”

Garn hummed and nodded. He’d seen the kloxan do that too. Thinking of him and the human next to him now, he again started wondering at how different they were than what he’d always expected of someone from the Galactic Confederation. Just even in the past few solar rotations, the hard, no-nonsense shell he’d immediately attributed to her when they first met was actually more just her being firm and strong when needed, but thoughtful and gentle at her base. He’d learned so much in such a short amount of time. The galaxy was such a bigger place than he’d ever thought, so much more detailed and nuanced. It had all been so cut and dry and simple when all he knew was what the Syndicate told him. He exhaled deeply as he leaned his head back to rest against the wall.

“That’s quite the sigh,” Kaya noted. “Got a lot on your mind?”

Garn grunted an affirmative. Kaya sat silently as if waiting for him to elaborate. When he didn’t, she leaned her head back to rest against her chair and they both sat silently for a while.

Garn’s mind was racing, and at the same time, it felt like it was stuck in a sticky zawki pit. His thoughts were starting to run into each other and stretch or slow down until nothing was making sense anymore. Maybe he should return to the sleep quarters and try again to get some rest. He looked over to the human who also looked like she was having trouble with her thoughts.

“If I may ask,” he asked quietly so as to not startle her, “what made you want to leave the Galactic Confederation?”

Kaya tilted her head down to consider him a moment. Even in the darkness, he could see the lines around her eyes pull.

“I left,” she began and thought about it a moment, “I left to find my partner.”

Garn wasn’t sure what that meant, so he waited unmoving until she finally continued. Her voice was slow and deliberate, like she was carefully picking through every word.

“We… we were on a scouting mission and there was… an accident. We were separated. I was, well, I was recovered, but he wasn’t.” She paused again and looked down into her mug. Or maybe at her arm, Garn wasn’t sure. “I tried to convince them to go after him. They said he was gone. I appealed. I appealed again and again to higher and higher powers, but I kept getting nos. They told me he was gone and that trying to… recover him would… that it wasn’t worth the risk. He was a good man.” She frowned and looked up sharply. “He is a good man. I think he’s still out there. He survived. I can feel it. And I decided I was going to get him, by myself if I had to. Tig was on our crew as well. He’s been... a dear friend. Both to Ahmad and I before, and now. He believed me. He came along to help me find Ahmad.”

She looked back up at Garn. “Since we left the GC, we’ve found evidence that we were right, that he made it out alive. We just need to find him. And along the way, we’ve picked up a few other lost souls.”

Garn matched her gaze as he listened and thought on the information. She was on a mission. He, well, he was now for all intents and purposes, a fugitive on the run. Other than staying alive, he had no real plans, no goals. What was he going to do now? He must have spoken his question out loud before he realized it, because Kaya cocked her head and gave a small chuckle in response.

“What are you going to do indeed, dantum? I think that’s what everyone has to figure out. Until you do, though, I suppose you can tag along with us for a while.” She took another sip of her tea before she set it back down on the counter. “After all, it’s not like we’d be able to get rid of ya any time soon. Porter’s gotten attached.” She smiled and gave a short hum, “and I think you’d make a decent enough late-night conversationalist. Granted, you do need a little more practice.”

Garn felt a flicker of surprise and returned the smile. He’d like that. Here on this antiquated but cozy ship, surrounded by terrifying but welcoming aliens, he thought he’d really like that.

[onewomancitadel]

I was reading a Miraculous fanfic, and it was slow burn, and about every other chapter was a giant cliffhanger. I've remembered that Skimming Eye is also slow burn, so this is m formally requesting that you don't try to kill me with suspense and dramatic irony. If not for me, then do it for my high blood pressure XD.

That said, have you currently got any one-shots or other stories in the works? Care to give me a taste of some?

Slow burn is the only type of longfic romance that matters to me. If it's not slowburn then what's the point. It's like revealing the killer in a murder mystery too early. Well, I suppose The Secret History did that, didn't she. That's a whydunnit as opposed to a whodunnit, though.

I try to intentionally write chapters as satisfying standalone chunks with a mini-theme (in respect to the big one) explored, so there's some sense of resolution every time another secret is introduced.

I'm not 100% sure if that's always successful... like Chapter 8 I got a lot of 'you are evil, this cliffhanger is evil' and I don't challenge the former, but the latter does interest me, because I was sitting here smug and self-satisfied thinking to myself: lol we got the enemies-as-lovers parting, yes, yes, yes, excellent, the boon of enemies-as-lovers romance, the midway point I've never seen capitalised upon in the exact way I want it *evil gremlin laughter as It’s All Gone Tomorrow plays in the distance* and I thought it was really great because once I hit around the 12,000 word mark I was like let's cut it off here with Salem turning up, but I didn't, I kept it until they said goodbye. That plus, I think it's a cheap and usual cutting off put - ahh dramatic reveal! - but we knew it was going to happen at some point, the more interesting part is what is Cinder going to do next. That's the real mystery/question.

(On that note... my approach is ‘what’s the stuff I like as a reader’ and ‘what’s the more interesting thing to write’, I get bored easily and I want different stuff to happen, though I want narrative language to be intelligible, and I would ideally like everything to be connected and have a meaningful relationship plot-wise... so say, let me talk frankly: the first Summer Maiden’s murder solved the following structurally: a) boring Maiden hunt b) who is the Summer Maiden? her lack of identity is an point of characterisation/commentary on the Maidens c) it gives Vacuo some characterisation for how they choose to protect their Maidens versus the coddling, for instance, of others d) now I can make the Summer Maiden whomever I want, and I know how to identify my antagonist).

Slow burn is good so long as it's not cheap... I've talked a bit before about why I think enemies-to-lovers is such a successful slow burn - or it should be - because there's so much added to the relationship that makes realising it much more difficult. I also think of the slow burn in The Distance Which Fools the Skimming Eye like a perpetually burning underground coal mine disaster. Environmentally ruinous and very passionate!

So, I'm very invested in well-done slow burn, and I'm very invested in also trying to feel satisfied as you go. There are real and salient reasons why they aren't/can't be together, and how you get to that seemingly so-simple point (let's just admit that we love each other, why can't we love each other) is actually really hard. Everybody says communication is easy, unti they try it themselves, of course. But then what's a story without good conflict and narrative irony, yes? You need things to happen in a story.

The problem with sharing story ideas for me is that I get the 'good feeling' of having shared it/talked about it, and then I don't want to work on it. I have a lot that I'm just trying to write in one or two sittings when the muse strikes. I also have another longfic planned/written but I'm not sure when to begin posting that.

Admittedly, I'm pretty concerned about V9 in the sense that I'm afraid it's going to make me feel awkward/stupid/silly for shipping Knightfall for whatever reason (I’m very self-conscious) be that White/knight, which, despite the fact it makes no sense as a ship - well - I just have a bad feeling about the icky guy-patiently-waits-for-girl-to-notice-him-ship - and/or something horrible like Cinder-is-structurally-irredeemable (if you know where that 'structural irredeemability' nonsense comes from, I feel for you, I'm with you), then it's going to make me cry and pack up my toys and go home. So my one goal in sight is finishing Skimming Eye. That has to be my main focus. If I'm working on other oneshots it's only because I knew I wasn't going to be working on my main longfic anyway.

So I do have a lot of ideas and they all still interest me and I'm trying to write what I can on the side, but I do sort of have a mild priority. The fact most of the stories in my head are completely plotted means sitting down and writing them isn't as complicated, but there's also the fact that in Skimming Eye, that's where I want a lot of my... Knightfall firsts, if that makes sense. I'm having fun with it, I love the story when it's not making me cry because I'm a loser and nobody likes my fic (LOL!), and it's very special to me even if it's imperfect.

I'll try to see what I can get out in the near future, but my not-so-secret aim is to get two chapters done this week and then churn out the next few as quickly as possible. I have an idea of where I want to get the story before V9 comes out.

If anymore oneshots crop up, you'll be the first to know, I'm sure, though I've already mentioned on my blog I've got two chapters to post for and complete The One Known by Many Names (which I decided to extend), but I'm waiting to hit a certain chapter in Skimming Eye before I do. So there's that! <3 <3

Hope you're having a fab day and good luck with your slow burns!

[peeterparkr]

perfidy;tom holland|12

chapter 12: the antagonist

enemies to lovers au/enemies with benefits

chapter summary: 

per·fi·dy /ˈpərfədē/ (noun): 1: the quality or state of being faithless or disloyal: TREACHERY.  2: an act or an instance of disloyalty 3: deceitfulness; untrustworthiness.

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings:  swearing,,alcohol mention, french, tom trying to flirt

word count: 6.9k

here’s a playlist

and here’s another one

and here’s another one inspired by 1D

social media before you read (IMPORTANT FOR THE CHAPTER) :  

during chapter: Sam freaks out. Tom and y/n text and subtweet. Y/N is not jealous.

after chapter: Y/N loves Dirty Dancing. Timmy doesn’t. People reach out and a group chat is made.

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

It was no secret that Timothée was very, very observant. Some people thought he was quiet, he wasn’t, not with the right people. He loved to laugh and make people laugh. He was a simple man. He liked to stay with things that made him happy, and get rid off things that didn’t. He was someone who didn’t need much, if he enjoyed a sunset, he’d stay quiet to watch it. If he found something funny, he laughed. If he liked a song, he listened to it. He wasn’t complicated at all. But he was fascinated by everything, by life, by people. Even if he was simple, he was a man with intense emotions. And he liked complex people. 

Complicated minds. 

Like y/n. He was never bored with her. How delicate she was, and how she put attention in details. How he’d noticed she was a little bit of a kleptomaniac. Not in a bad way. But he noticed how she’d sometimes pick up a pebble when they’d go to their dates near the river, or how she’d keep the movie tickets, or how she’d always pick up maps of whatever places they went to. 

But Timmy, Timmy had feelings. Very strong feelings. 

So of course when he saw what he saw, the love of his life kissing another man, he had to go to the bathroom and wash off his face. He leaned against the sink. Of course he’d seen it coming, but not as soon. 

Not that soon.

He stared at his reflection. He needed to calm down. 

He had spoken about it once with y/n. How heartbreaks can be felt.

It felt like a dagger across his chest, all the way down to his stomach. 

He wished he hadn’t seen this. He hadn’t expected it, not today. Not when he’d seen them ignore each other. What the fuck had led to that kiss? 

Sure, he knew it would come. Not that soon. 

But Timmy had been observant, and he saw the way she looked at him. He knew this was coming. Not that soon. But not that soon. 

But it was so obvious, they had stopped with their usual bickering, she would laugh more. Less fighting. And she’d blush sometimes when Tom looked at her. Of course this all came from the fact that Tom and y/n were spending more time together. Timmy liked to hope that nothing else had happened. 

But after seeing them kiss… he wasn’t that sure. 

Because he’d seen her, laughing when Tom was in makeup or wardrobe as he would actually make sure to make her smile. The way that Tom would playfully smear whatever condiment his lunch was having. Or the way he’d randomly lean over to whisper to her. 

And yes, they had continued with the whole hate speech but it was different. Timothee had noticed. 

And he’d seen Tom. And of course he had seen Tom drooling for his ex girlfriend before. 

How Tom would look at her from the other side of the room, or how he’d actually pay attention to her. Tom could be ignoring everyone in the room but whenever y/n spoke he’d look up, even if it was just to make an insult. 

Or how Tom would turn away whenever y/n kissed Tim. Timothee saw the way Tom would have to clench his jaw and take a deep breath. 

And then y/n’s last birthday. The bloody vinyl. It didn’t technically bother him, because y/n had smiled but Tom was so obvious. 

But he wasn’t sure that y/n felt the same, y/n had been so keen on making sure everyone knew she hated him. And she genuinely did. But what about now? 

Because she looked hurt whenever Tom walked into a room, especially at the beginning of their relationship. Tim had never known what had happened between them. The uncertainty had him anxious. 

Especially because he knew it was related to the night they’d met. Not sure why he thought so. 

But he knew y/n had been so difficult to start dating and to tumble down her walls. But he’d fallen in love with her from the first moment he’d seen her. He remembered her, running into the classroom, with her hair wet from the rain and a coffee in her hand, as she was carrying tons of bags. Not sure what for. 

And she’d quietly snuck into the back, and made a mess while pulling out that old notebook. Too old fashioned. 

And he remembered how she’d dropped her stuff making everyone turn around to see her, and that had made Timothee laugh under his breath. 

And then when they started to actually talk, after the night in the club, he remembered how y/n had been… sad. And he’d seen her blossom again, slowly. Then she finally accepted to go on a date with him, and she’d been so nervous and quiet but giggly. He remembered how she had been reserved, but then she’d kissed his cheek. Timmy knew she still had one of the flowers he’d given her. 

And that’s all it took him to fall in love with her and knowing he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. 

They were meant to be, it was so ridiculous. Their favourite movies, their favourite colors. It seemed stupid not to think they were meant for each other. 

But maybe she didn’t think that way. Because Tom… Tom. 

But this all came to 4 months ago. He hadn’t gotten down in one knee, but he knew y/n, so he might have stolen the idea from her favourite movie. A film canister. And he remembered giving it to her, it was a little inside joke they had. He’d give her little notes in them. 

But he hadn’t expected her reaction. You know, usually, Timmy was so observant that he could know what could happen. How did he not see that she’d say no? How could he know she’d open the film canister and not want the ring inside it. 

Timmy knew y/n wasn’t an ‘I love you’ giver, she didn’t say it that much. She had her own way of saying it. ‘Shut up, you’re an idiot.’ ‘Oh my god, you’re sooo silly’ ‘You’re dumb.’ Yes, not the best. but Tim had caught on to it. 

But she hadn’t said it that one time. 

Shed just stayed quiet, and she had simply stopped saying it. But she’d said those words: ‘Tim, I need you to know that I love you but right now I’m not ready for this.’ 

And that’s when it had gone downhill. Because love blinds us. And she’s stopped saying it. She’d say: ‘I love you’, but it didn’t feel like it. She didn’t say “you’re so silly,” and roll her eyes with a smile. Not anymore. 

And well, he’d been blinded again if he thought y/n wouldn’t go running to Tom after Tim told her too. 

Timmy wasn’t of the jealous type, he trusted y/n. But when y/n had said those words 3 months ago, he’d been conflicted. Drunk words are sober thoughts, and y/n had said it: ‘There’s still a part of me that will always wonder if Tom’s the love of my life.’ 

But Tom wasn’t. He couldn’t be. 

Was it too pretentious of Tim to believe he was the one for y/n? But he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that, even if they were barely lies. Even if right now he could barely trust himself. 

Or y/n. But right now, he knew this wasn’t y/n trying to hurt him. 

Not really. 

But Tom couldn’t be the love of her life, because Tom… was her perfidy. Tim had told her once. 

“He will gain my trust and then betray it, on purpose,” Y/N had said. 

“Perfidy.” 

Y/N had looked up, frowning, as she was scattering around a storyboard. “Hm?” 

What had Tom done this time? He couldn’t even remember. 

Tim was on her bed, throwing a ball up and down. “Such a pretty word for such a horrible feeling,” explained Timmy as he turned to her. “It was used in the context of war, when someone pretends to be good to earn their enemies trust just to deliberately betray them.” 

“Perfidy, yes… That’s Tom, my perfidy.” 

Why was she kissing her perfidy? 

But Tim wanted to turn into her perfidy right now, so of course he had to stop it. If she was so in love with the idea of someone hurting her, did he have to? And he wouldn’t. 

He, with rage controlling every muscle in his body, went for the choreographer, claiming Tom was looking for him. Timmy wasn’t stupid, he wouldn’t walk in. Y/N didn’t need to know he’d seen them. 

Tim probably needed a cigarette, or two or three. He needed to calm down.

But he walked in 5 minutes after the choreographer, and he noticed how y/n’s smile could brighten up the whole room. And her sight was on Tom and only Tom. 

She was sitting down, watching Tom rehearsing. She didn’t even notice Timmy was in the room as well. 

And then he heard her: 

“Oh my god, Thomas stop, you’re an idiot.” 

That’s when he had walked out of that room. But he still had some hope. Tom, after all, was her perfidy. Timothee had to wait until Tom betrayed y/n again. 

And after that, y/n had noticed that Tim had changed. The next days were different. Tim would avoid her. He didn’t even look her in the eyes. But y/n thought it was for the best. 

But Tom had been different, too. He hadn’t asked her out again, but they haven’t… had anything else either. 

Well, maybe, almost.

 After seeing Tom dance, and after that kiss it was no secret y/n was left with hunger for more. So of course, when he’d finished she had made sure nobody was watching, she’d placed her hands on the sides of his head and kissed him. 

He’d kissed back right away, of course, his hands in her waist as he had pulled her closer. But he had immediately pulled back. 

“No, y/n, I want to do this right, I mean it. No more… Whatever this is, I want to do this right.” 

And that had y/n thinking. And y/n would spend more time with him, even more time with him. But they had kept their bickering. 

And she had been able to write more and keep sending her little notes to Alessandra. 

Sam had come to set once and he’d been particularly weird, watching y/n very observantly. And he’d asked about Timmy. But it hurt, because Timmy wasn’t around anymore. Y/N had cried once about it, at home, when nobody saw her. 

But when Sam and Haz had come to set, Tom had… been nice. Y/N hadn’t, she had to keep up the whole hatred act going on. 

“Hey, but what’s up with that group chat?” Y/N asked. “I really need some context” 

“I don’t know,” Sam chuckled. “Haz?” 

“Ah, I don’t know,” Haz grinned. “I just love enemies who fall in love with each other.” 

Y/N frowned. “Ah, yeah, good trope, kind of impossible in real life.” 

“Is it really?” Harrison smirked.

“Yes, because they’re enemies, and enemies usually disagree on everything, so,” Y/N rolled her eyes. “But why did you make that group-”

“Let’s see if your enemy agrees,” he smirked. “Tom?” 

Tom looked up from his phone. “Yeah?” 

“Thoughts on enemies falling in love with each other?” Haz smirked. 

Sam snickered. 

Tom rolled his eyes. “Impossible.” 

“Huh, he agrees with you,” Harrison laughed. “Who would’ve thought?” 

That hadn’t stopped. 

And it hadn’t really stopped. 

“You’re an idiot.” 

“You’re silly.” 

It hadn’t stopped. Like that day when y/n had told Tom she’d do his makeup and made him look like a clown. Y/N had laughed all day about it. Haz had been there too. 

“Huh, funny, y/n is once again making a clown out of you,” he had said. 

But something had changed. Tom was… nicer. Actual gentleman. And he would find excuses to randomly touch her, like pulling her hair back, or lifting up her chin, and pointing out her outfits. He’d kissed her cheek once. Y/N had thought about it since. So sweet. 

But she seemed like a teenager all over again. 

 Especially because they had talked about where he wanted to go with this. 

“When will you finally let me ask you out,” Tom asked once after hours on set, they were going to go hang out with the cast and crew. They’d be leaving in a few days to New York to continue filming. Y/N was texting Tim if he was going to go, too. Tim didn’t answer. 

Y/N didn’t know why he had all of sudden become so cold but he’d said to her that he was giving her her space. But y/n missed Tim. You know, it’s normal, she was so used to having him around. Even as a friend. 

“Why do you even want to ask me out?” Y/N asked, looking up. Tom was driving. “Please I need to know, you already got what you wanted,” Y/N pointed out. 

“What?” He chuckled. “What do I even want?” 

“We’ve slept together Tom, we don’t need to sugar coat it, we could keep up-” 

“Who said that’s what I want.” 

“What else would you want, dumbass?” She wondered. 

Tom chuckled. “A date’s goal is not to have sex with someone.” 

“Well, what’s your goal?” She rolled her eyes. 

“I dunno, y/n,” he sighed. “And though your clothes look prettier on the floor, that’s not where I’m trying to go with-- I mean,” he coughed. “I want that, too, you know? But--I also want to make you smile.” 

She chuckled. “You do that already,” she grinned.

“Oh yes, but I do that with everybody,” he chuckled. 

“You’re an idiot,” she stated. 

“Well, yeah, but I’m trying to be your idiot,” he gulped. “Like hold your stupid hand whenever I want to and shit.” 

“Hold my stupid hand?” She giggled

“Yes, and...cuddle you,” he cleared his throat. “Aggressively cuddle you, I mean.” 

 “Tom Holland are you trying to flirt with me?” She smirked. 

He laughed. “Been trying to for the past month but thanks for noticing.” 

Y/N looked at him. “Well, what exactly is your goal?” 

Tom pursed his lips. “A relationship, didn’t you get it from what I just told you?” 

That’s when y/n had gone quiet. The question had remained in the air. Her chest had curled up, and she had to look out the window. 

“Y/N?” He asked, with fear. 

She kept quiet, for a bit more. Until they arrived. 

“When?” She finally asked, as he’d parked. 

Tom’s eyes widened. “What?” 

She cleared her throat. “When would this… date take place?” 

“Are you accepting?” He grinned. 

“We’re leaving soon to New York and I need to… pack,” she looked away. “And tomorrow I know you’re going out with James and I am going out with my friends so…When?” 

“Leave that to me,” He grinned, and he’d kissed her cheek. 

Timmy was there, for sure. And he had glanced at y/n, and he’d clenched his jaw when he saw Tom had pulled out the chair for y/n, and sat right beside her. 

Timmy had ignored y/n. 

But Timmy hadn’t played fair. 

“So, Mads, Tom,” Tim grinned, the dinner was honestly going phenomena. “You guys have excellent chemistry.” 

“We do!” Madison grinned. 

Tom chuckled. “Huh.” 

“Yeah, why don’t you guys date,” Tim had pushed. 

Maddison grinned. “Huh, Tom had asked me out once but—“

“Oh, you did, Tom?” Timmy asked. 

Y/N only turned slightly to look at him. 

“I—Only asked you for lunch, I think we’re good as friends Mads, let’s keep it professional,” Tom had answered, glaring at Tim. 

The night continued, Tom had rested his arm behind y/n’s back. And Tim kept playing that game he had. As if he was trying to prove something to Tom. And he decided to stop ignoring y/n, a little too much for Tom’s convenience. 

“No, but—His face!” Timmy laughed. “No, y/n here—I swear, you remember right?” 

“Stop,” y/n laughed. “Sometimes I am super stupid!” 

“Half an hour, trying to get directions, imagine this! No one speaks French but me, and y/n had taken like 4 lessons!” Tim laughed. “That didn’t stop her from claiming she is soooo good at french, and she was the one who wanted to speak!” 

“I—I was okay,” y/n laughed. “Hey, you were my teacher! If anything this is your fault.” 

““But—“This other guy, blue shirt, name is not important. “how bad could it be? Mispronouncing one word?“

“no, it was bad!” Y/N laughed. 

“Okay, but there is a difference, okay? Between poutine and putain!” Timothee laughed. “But okay, okay, she went completely serious, and she just approached the old man, she was—She was going for it,” Tom grinned. “And she goes with this face,” Tim sucked in his cheeks. “High pitched voice: ‘excusez-moi, monsieurrrr, ou est-ce-que nous—-pouvons? Pouvons? Trouver…. PUTAIN!” 

Y/N covered her face. Tom chuckled. 

“Why—what does that mean?” Tom frowned, angry that y/n clearly still had that connection and dynamic with Tim. 

“So you see, poutine is a Canadian dish, and putain.... Means whore. Basically she asked where we could get whores instead of poutine! Big difference y/n!” Tim laughed. 

The whole table burst into laughter.

“Wait, how do you guys know each other?” Maddison asked, watching Tim and y/n. “I—I mean I know Tom and y/n are childhood friends but you, Timmy?” 

Y/N cleared her throat. 

“Well—Uh,” Tim smiled sadly. 

“They went to college together,” Tom was the one to answer. 

“We used to date,” Tim said. 

Maddison widened her sight. “Oh, and what happened?” Maddison chuckled. “You guys have great chemistry.” 

Tim locked eyes with y/n but then he glanced at Tom. 

y/n cleared her throat. “Well, Mads, that’s a story for another time.” 

Tom shrugged. “Sometimes it doesn’t work out, it’s no big deal.” 

Tim clenched his jaw. “Yeah, and we… We were supposed to be apart but then y/n took this job, so… Who knows?” Timmy grinned at y/n. 

Y/N took a long sip of her drink. 

Tom also wanted to play that game, which had basically turned into a ‘who has more anecdotes with y/n’ kind of game. 

“No, but we actually knocked the piano over,” Tom explained, between laughs. 

“Why?” Someone else, green t-shirt, asked. “How do you knock a piano over?” 

“We are enemies,” y/n explained. “And sometimes—“She chuckled. “We went too far.” 

Tom had proven that he had more. But they all seemed… Different. Tom realized how different from the stories Timmy had his own stories were. Because Timmy built it up, in a way that made Tom boil up with jealousy again as if he was reliving it again. 

But then he’d pulled out the card, the whole, I’ve known her my whole life, and he’d be winning again. But Timmy. Timmy didn’t even make it seem like a competition. He was just.. Being Timmy. Proving that even if he’d known her for only three years, he knew y/n. 

And they continued with that game, until y/n had caught on to it. She was not amused. 

But she had ignored them, both. She was angry, Tom could notice. 

“Hey so—I bought a Polaroid,” Tom said almost at the end of the evening. 

Y/N had stopped, to look at him.  “You what?” 

“Yeah,” Tom said, as he pulled it out. “So, we might as well take a picture all together, yeah?” 

Tim had also been skeptical. 

And they had taken a picture. 

Timmy had kissed y/n’s cheek to say goodbye. 

When they were making the way back to the car, Tom was still looking at the picture. And still thinking about the way Tim had placed his lips against y/n, so slowly. As if trying to prove something to Tom. 

“Wait, y/n?” 

She looked back at him. 

“Can I take a picture of you, idiot?” Tom asked. 

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “No.”

“Why not?” He frowned, quickly reaching out for her, taking her hand. 

“What for? So you can give it to Tim and prove a point?” She asked. 

He pursed his lips. “No, to keep this moment.” 

She coughed as she tried to avoid his gaze.  “You know, I’m not amused by whatever you were doing, both of you--” 

“He started.” 

“He didn’t,” she crossed her arms. “And if you think that this is a game and--” 

“Well, I’m winning, anyway, I’m the one taking you home.” 

“So I’m a prize?” She snapped. 

“No, no I didn’t…” Tom squeezed his eyes shut. “No, I’m sorry.” 

Y/N believed in little things that made up a person, certain events, songs, and even insignificant things, like a beer cap or a napkin stained with lipstick. There are times when it’s impossible to take a picture and even more impossible to take a polaroid. Like after she’d danced with Tom. She really didn’t want to read much into it, because he knew how Tom was. Tim had said it, Tom was her perfidy. 

But she had wanted to take a picture. 

She hugged herself, watching him

“Do you even know how to use a Polaroid?” She questioned him.

“It’s just taking a picture, y/n,” he looked away. “Forget it.” 

“And what kind of moment is there to keep here?” She wondered. “Walking in a parking lot?” 

He scoffed. “The fact you  accepted to go out with me.” 

She smiled. “Ah, but I didn’t say yes, did I?” She smirked. 

His eyes widened. “But I thought—“

“Sh, let’s just take that damn picture, silly,” she grinned as she took the camera off his hands, leaned over to his side. 

Tom blinked but then leaned away, as she smiled as she snapped the picture. 

He stared down as she waited for the picture to dry out, he placed a soft loving kiss to her cheek. 

She blushed and then blinked, looking at himself “Now let's go, dumbass,” she cleared her throat. 

He snickered watching her. 

“Dumbass in a… cute and caring way,” she added, before coughing away the awkwardness. 

This was going to be different. 

Tom had changed. Of course, he had to be subtle otherwise he knew y/n would go insane. But little by little he had been nicer, he wondered if she’d noticed. It seemed that after that very one particular kiss, y/n had sensed something changing, too. But he could only pretend to be her enemy for just a little bit longer. Of course, some habits couldn’t wear out but this was… different. 

Y/N seemed to be conflicted, though. There were times when he saw her building up her walls, and being defensive but just as if she was reminded of something, she’d let loose.

His brother and friend had noticed a change, too. Texting, all day. And they’d said that y/n had been too observant. Haz had been bothering y/n in front of Tom: 

“You were totally checking him out.” 

“I was not,” Y/N had said. 

“Don’t worry, he checks you out all the time, too.” 

Of course, he wanted to kill Harrison. 

But he knew y/n was being defensive. But there old habits that didn’t wear out, like him casually pushing her away when he walked by. Or her flipping him off whenever he looked at her. 

“Dumbass” “Idiot.” “Stupid.” Those weren’t going to go away. 

But they were flirting. 

And now she’d accepted a date. And Tom had to think of a date. Would they have their first date in New York? They couldn’t. 

Tom had gone to her apartment by surprise to help her pack.

It was only for two weeks but he, as stupid and cheesy as it may seem, wanted to make sure she packed outfits for what he had planned. 

But it didn’t make sense, did it? He knew he couldn’t—the dates couldn’t be usual. 

And then his mind was going places to where the date would go, he did have a certain idea. But he was debating on little details? Did he have to get her flowers? 

He knew she loved flowers. But he couldn’t just choose yellow flowers. But what other kind of flowers? He remembered how difficult it was to choose flowers for her, how does one choose flowers for a girl who has a garden in her eyes? 

“What are you doing?” Y/N asked, as she was folding some clothes but she looked up as Tom was looking at her wall full of Polaroids and picked up a hanger. 

“I’m— going to hang this one,” Tom smirked as he fanned the picture they’d taken at the parking lot. 

Y/N laughed. “And who says I want your silly face hanging there?” 

He chuckled as he walked over, wrapping his arms around her waist. “You don’t?”

“No.” 

“I’m going to hang it out anyway,” he claimed with a smile and then placed a kiss on her cheek. 

She rolled her eyes. 

She cleared out her throat after a while, as Tom was only admiring her wall.

“So—Uh, what exactly?” She cleared her throat. “Should I pack for—the date?“ 

He grinned. “Ah, right,” he chuckled. “Well all your clothes are ugly so it doesn’t matter.” 

“You’re right, you’re going to be showing your stupid face so it won’t matter,” she snapped. “Hey… wait toss me that pink scarf from that top drawer, idiot.” 

“Top—?”he stared at the drawers and decided to randomly open one. And that definitely was pleased with that drawer. “Oh.” 

“What?” 

A drawer full of lingerie. 

“Yeah these—All of this drawer is coming.” 

Y/N looked up. “Huh?” 

He smirked as he pulled out a very nice set of pink bikini lingerie. Very, very nice. With flowers. “Especially this one,” he waved the two pieced set in the air. “This, this one is for the date.” 

“Oh my god,” y/n ran over to try and pull it off his hands and close the drawer. “That was not the top drawer, oh my god, you’re so stupid.” 

Tom lifted up his hand and ran away with the set as he couldn’t stop laughing. Y/N rushed after him.

“Thomas!” 

And he was faster than her, but this felt like when they were kids, when Tom stole something from y/n. This felt so familiar. 

“Thomas, oh my god,” she continued as he rushed back to her bedroom and casually placed it in her suitcase. 

“That, you’re wearing that,” he smirked, as she punched him in his arm. “That’s the outfit for the date. 

“No,” she took it out. 

Tom grinned again, placing it back in. “Yes.” 

“There won’t be a date now,” she rolled her eyes, chuckling. 

“Why not?” He pouted. “That’s a great outfit.” 

“Because you’re acting like a child,” she said, chuckling, still embarrassed as she took the set back where it belonged. 

Tom rushed after her, hugging her from behind. “Well, not for the date but you should pack it anyway,” he grinned. 

“Just in case?” She laughed. 

“Oh, no, I’m 100% sure you’ll end up wearing it,” he sassed, hands in her waist, brushing his lips against her ear, fanning his breath against her neck. 

“I wouldn’t be that sure, idiot, the odds are actually very small,” she laughed, pushing him away. 

But he pulled her back to him, staring at her lips. “Why?” 

He grinned. 

“Because I’m still deciding whether or not I want to do this,” she bit her lip, watching him. 

“I’m not trying to break your heart this time, you know,” he reminded her as he cupped her cheeks. 

“No, but I’m afraid I am,” she had said. 

He didn’t know what that meant, and though he was dying to kiss her, he hadn’t. He didn’t. He couldn’t, he had to do it right. 

He helped her again, and he might or might have not slipped the set in again, she didn’t say anything this time. 

“What’s… this?” Tom asked as he was lurking through her closet, he found two shoeboxes. One said Tim, one said Tom. He frowned. 

Y/N looked up again, with fear, not wanting to deal with yet another shenanigan made by Tom. 

“What?” 

“It’s got my name in it,” Tom pointed out. And then y/n rushed to shut her closet door closed, realizing what he’d seend.

“None of your business,” she said, with a nervous smile.

“What is it?” He chuckled nervously. 

“Nothing,” she emphasized. 

He frowned. “Why do you have a Tim box? And why do you have a Tom box?” 

Y/N looked away. “Nothing.” 

He poked her sides. “Y/N?” 

“The…”She closed her eyes. “The TIm box is stuff that belongs to him that I haven't’ had the guts to give him back.” 

“And… the one with my name?” 

She shrugged, calmly. “That’s where I keep track of your schedule, you know I hate using the phone calendar, so it’s there.” 

“May I see it?” Tom asked. 

“No, because you’re going to mess everything up,” she said, pushing him away, and then pulling him to the front door. “Now, it’s getting late and you should probably leave because I need to get ready to hang out with my friends.” 

And he was going to hang out with James. Not sure why James seemed so cold lately. They’d have a beer. Tom kept thinking about the box. 

Tom saw James as a big brotherly figure, in a way that James had constantly given him advice and in a way that James was not afraid to call him out on his bullshit. But it was also kind of scary. Especially due to the fact that Tom now felt guilty that he’d slept with y/n, and Tom knew how protective James was when it came to y/n. 

Of course, you know, the first chit chat that’s only catching up wasn’t intense. But Tom was sweating, because he feared that James would ask him about it. And he was scared because he had once heard James say: ‘Tim is the one for y/n, they’re so perfect for each other it’s ridiculous.’ 

And James was the first one to call Tom out whenever he’d crossed lines with y/n. James understood that they had the whole enemies thing, but James didn’t let Tom pull any kind of bad bullshit. 

However, James didn’t know about the yellow flowers. At least, Tom thought so. 

But Tom wasn’t really paying attention; he was wondering what exactly that box could have. 

“So, what’s going on with y/n?” James blurted out.

 Tom almost spat his beer as he had to cough away his choking. “Hm?”

James laughed, rolling his eyes. “Are you not going to tell me?” 

Tom felt sweat falling down his forehead as he stared at the older brother of the love of his life. Suddenly he regretted every single thing he’d pulled over the last month, from sleeping with her to waving around her underwear. 

“Tell--tell you what?” Tom played dumb. 

James watched Tom, and rolled his eyes scoffing. “Tom.” 

Tom started to peel off the paper from the beer. “What?” 

“She told me.” 

“What—did she tell you?” Tom’s heart felt like it was going to pop right out of his chest.

James watched him. “That you asked her out…” He cackled. “Was she… supposed to tell me anything else?” 

Tom felt his soul coming back to his body. He blushed as he let out a nervous snicker. “Ah, yeah. No, I mean, no that’s it but—Yeah I asked her out.” 

“Well, that’s such a turn of events right?” James asked. “I thought you—hated her.” 

Tom stared at his beer. 

“I’m in love with her,” Tom stated. 

James watched him, took a sip of his beer. “Okay. So?”

Tom frowned. “Aren’t you… surprised?”

“Oh, sorry,” James cleared his throat. “That’s brand new information!” He faked surprise. 

Tom frowned. “What?” 

“Okay, I know that, you haven’t been subtle and while all of you were running around pretending to be enemies, me, the grown up noticed a lot of things.” 

Tom felt betrayed. He didn’t know why but he was offended. Why wasn’t he surprised? Sam and Haz had been… A little. But this was his best kept secret and James knew. 

“What?” Tom repeated. 

“Please you’ve been drooling over her your whole life,” James pushed. “I… I am only wondering, what’s up with this?” 

“Well uh---” 

“And what about Harry?” James questioned. “Because, Tom, this…He’s your brother, and I know you, I’ve seen you toy around with y/n and act all adorable but the moment Harry walks in you push her away, and you break her heart, and look, right now, she… She doesn’t have to deal with that kind of crap, alright?” 

Tom watched him. “I know, I fucked up, but now… I… I really want to work this out.” 

“Look, Tom, you’re… You’re my friend, okay?” James squeezed his eyes shut. “But she’s my sister and she comes first, and I don’t want you fooling around with her, okay? Besides… I don’t know how she’s going to react to all of this, alright?” 

“Well, she seems to be up for it,” Tom sighed. “I’m not trying to fool around, I genuinely love her.” 

James watched him and took a deep breath. “What about Tim?”

Tom clenched his jaw. “What about him?” 

“I dunno,” James sighed. “I’d be nervous having around the man who proposed to the woman I love.” 

“Tim… proposed?” 

That was… Now that was brand new information. 

Y/N wasn’t far from there, having dinner with her friends, Charlie and Danielle, whom she really hadn’t talked to in a while. They’d spoken about life, about Joe Holt, whom was now also hitting on Danielle, but had asked about y/n, and about Charlie’s tinder experience. 

Y/N had been quiet. She had been thinking about Tom. And Tim, who had been texting her since that dinner. She wondered if she was doing the right thing. Because now guilt was invading her. 

And she was confused. Was she falling back in love with Tom? And how dangerous was it to fall in love when she was writing about it? 

When Tom had left, she’d opened Timmy’s box. A box full of secrets, of napkins, of movie tickets and beer caps, of an egg shell from the first time he’d ever made breakfast for her, and sweeteners of their first café date.  Of memories and film canisters. 

One very special film canister. 

But she was thinking about Tom’s box. One filled with both good and bad memories. Dried out yellow flowers, and lipsticks she hadn’t touched in years because he’d kissed those. With scripts she’d written for them. And now, with a beer cap, from the first night they’d slept together. The package of pasta of when he’d cooked dinner for her, and now she’d taken that polaroid he’d hung to place it in her box, to remember the day he’d asked her out.

She didn’t want to ruin this. She really didn’t want to break his heart, she had to stop. 

“Okay, spill it,” Charlie smirked. “Y/N I can’t believe you literally have to work for your wrost enemy and have your ex there!” 

“I wouldn’t be able to do it,” Danielle pointed out. “How’s it going?” 

Like hell. Y/N would be lying if she admitted that she would constantly be very stressed out. She cried, a lot. Besides, she was making a fool of herself. Who was she trying to kid? She was falling back in love with Tom. But then she still had feelings for Timmy. Because Timmy was perfect. 

“It’s been fine,” she lied. 

“Have you fucked Tom, yet?” Charlie asked. 

Y/N blushed. “Why do you always assume--?” 

“Ah, please, y/n, it’s all over you, you’ve got that glow everybody talks about, you’ve been getting laid so I can only assume it’s...No,” he paused himself. “Are you sleeping with perfect Timmo boy?” 

Danielle chirped. “Oh my God, yes, you should get back together with him you made a perfect couple!” 

“Honestly, yes, you guys were maaaade for each other,” Charlie sang. 

Y/N only sipped of her cosmo. 

“No, I didn’t sleep with Tim.” 

Charlie watched her with a proud smirk. “Fine, don’t tell us… By the way Alessandra is loving everything you’re sending her,” Charlie laughed. “She said she’s doing your script, no doubt.” 

Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose. This couldn’t be happening. “But I don’t want to write it anymore.” 

“What do you mean?” Danielle frowned. “It’s brilliant, I asked Alessandra today what it’s about and it’s brilliant! Enemies with benefits! How did you even come up with that?” 

Y/N stayed quiet. 

“Yes, the whole enemies to lovers, 80’s couple, revenge party kind of thing, it’s amazing,” Charlie added. “I love it, you should be proud of yourself.” 

Y/N only sipped more. “I can’t--” 

“Why not?” Danielle frowned. 

Charlie then stopped to stare at y/n, as if he was connecting two and two. “Wait a minute.” 

Y/N rubbed her face. 

“You slept with Tom,” Charlie whispered. “You’re shitting me,” he pitched his voice. “You’re.. Shit, you’re kidding me, you’re.. You’re enemies with benefits with Tom.” 

Danielle’s eyes widened as her mouth o-shaped with surprise. 

“Sh, sh, ‘kay, yes, yes, I…” Y/N squeezed her eyes shut. “But… Look, I need to stop this, I need to change the script now, okay? I can’t write about this, it’s fucked up, I know it’s wrong and…I well.” 

“You caught feelings,” Charlie smirked. 

“What?” 

“How do you even know this?” Danielle frowned. 

Charlie rolled his eyes. “Please a woman in love is easy to give away, and y/n here has always been in love with Tom so…” Charlie chuckled. “You’re in love, aren’t you?” 

“Maybe,” y/n admitted. “No... Not in love. I’m not sure. I dunno. But okay, he asked me out and I think… I think it would be nice, you know?” 

Charlie nodded. “But you’re afraid he’ll find the script.” 

“Yes because it’ll blow up in my face,” y/n said. 

Charlie nodded. “But then again…”He paused. “Look, I’ve been reading the script, you know Alessandra always makes me edit everything,” he remembered. “And from what I’ve caught on so far is you’re really trying to get your revenge because he broke your heart, I don’t know what’s fiction or not but you’ve made it clear he was an asshole.” 

Y/N stayed quiet. 

Danielle blinked. “And was he?” 

“Yes,” y/n sighed. “But…” 

“But?” Charlie watched her. “y/n, what do you want?” 

“I don’t know anymore,” she sighed. “I… have feelings for him.” 

“But you also said he was your… What did you call him? This weird word, that meant someone who’s only trying to get your trust to break your heart or some poetic shit like that?” 

“I know,” y/n said. “I… Just...I want to believe this time it’s different and I… don’t want to break his heart.” 

“But what if he breaks yours? What if he keeps on with that weird word, because look, y/n, even as much as I tried to ship you with him, deep down I’ve seen how shitty he’s been with you,” Charlie continued. 

Danielle nodded. “That’s true, whenever he’s been at your parties, he was a really big asshole.” 

Y/N nodded. 

“He doesn’t have to find the script,” Charlie said. “Make sure he doesn’t and--” 

“But what if they film it,” Y/N pushed. “What will I say then?”

“The story is different enough, I’m sure, I didn’t get it was you and Tom, but only because I know you and because Alessandra made sure to ask it was a based in real events kind of thing, but nobody else knows about it, it’s set in the 80’s, and if he asks about it--” 

“But it’s…” 

“Is it the same story?” Charlie questioned. 

“No,” y/n shook her head. “No, I’ve made sure it’s different enough, I’ve only… made sure it’s about enemies with benefits and her trying to get her revenge but no, it’s got nothing to do with me, but you see the problem, right?” 

“Well, I do,” Charlie admitted. “But--- You could say that it was only inspired by it.” 

“That’s true...But do you really love him?” Danielle asked. 

Y/N stayed quiet. 

“Don’t you think he’ll break your heart first?” Charlie pushed. 

Yes. He was going to break her heart first. 

“He was that weird word, wasn’t he? what was it? Danielle I told you about it, how it was such a great word!”Charlie attempted to recall. 

“Oh!” Danielle closed her eyes. “Yes, yes… Uh, serendipity?” 

Charlie laughed. “No, that’s the movie with John Cuscak, but I know a word for you… stupidity.” 

“It was something like… perdifidity,” Danielle recalled. 

“Perfidy,” y/n said. “Yeah, he’ll probably commit perfidy.” 

“So, when he does, then you’ll...be ready with your own perfidy,” Charlie said. “It’s only fair.” 

But she really didn’t want to commit perfidy. 

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