#i was driving to work thinking about them which is a bad idea in hindsight lol

[entirelysein-e]

Life update: feeling a little better. Break is working wonders. It's kinda relieving to not worry about online life for once but I kinda do miss being here?

I think I'll try to ease back into yapping on dash in November. No pressure on myself anymore over posting x times a week, no pressure on notes and fics "flopping". We start anew and healthier 🫶

Smol info/vent under the cut lol.

The fact that I deactivated back in may weighs heavy on my mind still bc I did like the amount of interactions / asks and stuff that came with the bigger following. But I need to stop comparing myself to me from a year ago. I need to stop putting pressure on myself to write so people aren't upset with me.

The constant asks about not posting x times a week shows I don't care about people really did something in hindsight. I know I don't write for myself - I quite frankly don't like myself enough to be this kind to myself - but my fics are written for my friends. The people I've talked to about those ideas. I want to make them happy, not 62392729 others. So if my fic only has 200 interactions (from which 95% are likes) is okay. It doesn't mean it's bad. It doesn't mean I've failed as a writer and blog. I'm happy that the people I wrote it for like the fic and I'm grateful for others liking it too.

Tumblr is in shambles compared to when I started out 3 years ago. Likes are the new reblogs apparently and no matter how much we complain and beg, the people don't care. So yes. Yes I don't care anymore either.

You don't care enough to let me & others know that you've liked a fic and don't wanna share it? I'm not obligated to share my writing with you either. You can't expect me to push out 5 fics a week when you give me nothing in return. No money, no kind words, not even sharing it.

Call me entitled, call me ungrateful but perhaps you start with yourself first and come to realize that this behavior is driving writers off this app. We won't ever stop writing - but we will stop sharing it for others to see. So think about your own behavior first before coming at me. Leave the death and r*** threats up your ass and touch some grass 🥰

If you made it here, thank you for your time I hope the day treats you kindly and that the sunshine finds its way to warm you in ways a loving embrace would 🫶

[mistle10]

Scenes from an Omega's first time | Mallerollo one shot

Pairings: Malleus Draconia/Rollo Flamm

Rating: 🔞🔞🔞

Word count: 2.3k

Content: first time, awkwardness, fluff and smut, omegaverse, omega malleus, alpha rollo, theyre boyfriends, post flower incident, mallerollo, theyre both virgins figuring it out, malleus is shitty at nest building. have you ever seen those pics of the really bad pigeon nests? Its like that

Summary:

"On the other side of the bookshelf, a familiar scent brushed by Malleus’s nose. Almost like clockwork, he felt his face get hot. Who would have guessed that the prince was so easily undone that the mere scent of his boyfriend would send him over the edge?"

__________________☆___________________

Fic under the break!

It hadn't been a very good idea, in hindsight. Traveling to this school, while his heat was so close. Malleus had assumed he would have time, but then again, the fae had only started getting them months ago. He had no clue about his body's natural cycle yet, since he had only just reached the proper height. (This is how lizards work). It was far too embarrassing to talk about with his guardian, so he only did research on his own, but it was so easy to get distracted. While looking for books about heats, H is right next to G, which is the first letter in Gargoyle, which means the books about gargoyles are right there.

On the other side of the bookshelf, a familiar scent brushed by Malleus’s nose. Almost like clockwork, he felt his face get hot. Who would have guessed that the prince was so easily undone that the mere scent of his boyfriend would send him over the edge?

—☆—

In contrast to his usual demeanor, Malleus was flushed and seemed fairly embarrassed as he answered the door. Of course, Rollo was taken aback, and the smell of Malleus’s febrile state instantly made his pants tighten. Not giving him much time to linger there, Malleus stood to the side of his door, inviting the other man inside.

“As per my… letter… Which I am sure you received if you’re here, then you already know whats going on. Surely, I don’t have to explain?” Malleus stated, still awkwardly maintaining eye contact despite the circumstances.

“Listen Malleus Draconia, I don’t know what pleasure you derive from having your lackey send me such a letter in the middle of the daytime, but-”

The silver-haired man’s words were interrupted as Malleus quickly grabbed his arm, pulling him into the room and closing the door in a bold move. He couldn’t have him airing all of this out in the middle of the hallway. Rollo seemed speechless at the gesture, utterly indignant about being manhandled like that. He pulled his arm away, but as soon as he was inside the room, his nostrils flared as the thickening heat scent permeated the air.

“What- what d-do you think you’re…” Rollo covered his nose with his handkerchief, his face flushing completely red. He seemed to have lost his train of thought completely, distracted by the scent of his partner. The thing was, it wasn’t even a particular overreaction. Sharing a heat was a big deal, and the two had only been together for around a few months by now.

“Of course, I’m not twisting your arm to do this, but it would certainly-” Malleus kept looking at him, though Rollo had broken eye contact ages ago, “-be appreciated.”

Rollo could already feel that burning desire starting to spark deep within, and he sighed, accepting the offer, as absurd as it was. After all, it’s not every day that you’re visiting your boyfriend at his school and he goes into heat. After he went back home, he wouldn’t even exactly be sure when he would get to see Malleus again. It would have to be months, and Malleus didn’t really text, so it wasn’t exactly easy to contact him either.

Rollo took a deep breath, and stepped close to the other man, extending his arms and pulling him into a close embrace.

Malleus had never been this close to another man before. He just knew that his scent was driving him wild, and vice versa. Rollo breathed in deeply, face buried against the side of his neck, and his grip on his waist got tighter. The pheromones were intoxicating.

Malleus reached up, his hands tangling in the silver strands of Rollo's hair. Being so coddled, he had never been in such close company with an alpha until now. He understood why.

He was trying to keep his cool in the situation, but the warm feeling was taking over, his mind beginning to cloud. He could hardly think about anything but those uncouth thoughts about the man in front of him.

Rollo was beginning to burn up himself. He didn't want to do anything until he knew he was certain.

"Malleus Draconia," he was trying not to get caught on his words. "Will you g-" he took a moment to try and compose himself. "Will you give yourself to me?”

Malleus looked straight at Rollo’s face, and it was clear in his expression and his eyes that he needed him. “I am yours.” he whispered.

Their lips crashed together again, and heated kisses turned into hands wandering, albeit less boldly than they had both imagined. Awkward pauses and small murmurs sprinkled throughout their ministrations; after all, they were both just getting used to this.

"Are you comfortable? Is this okay?"

"Yes, I don't mind."

—☆—

It wasn't until the back of his legs touched the bed that Malleus realized they had been migrating from the door, and though he didn't want to let go, he retreated into the very small nest. Being away from home, he had to make do with the limited resources he had. He wished he could be at home for an occasion like this, but nothing could be done. He sure as hell wasn't going to ask Lilia for materials- it was embarrassing enough getting Sebek to deliver the envelope to Rollo in the first place.

Malleus sat back in the nest, hands politely folded in his lap. It was only now that Rollo could get a proper look at him, how unraveled he had gotten compared to his natural poise. His shirt buttons were a quarter of the way done already, and he wasn't wearing shoes or a belt. They had all been discarded in his fervor earlier.

Rollo couldn't help the flushed tone of his cheeks, looking away out of habit; he couldn't help but feel endeared by how pathetic the nest was. But realistically, he didn't expect much different from someone who wore the same outfit every single day.

Malleus sighed.

"Flamm. Are you just going to stare?" He asked.

"No, no," Rollo put his handkerchief over his mouth, trying not to laugh. "It's just that I never thought an omega could be bad at nesting." He teased.

Malleus furrowed his brows.

"I can kick you out at any time."

Rollo did laugh then, softly.

"Sorry, sorry. You don't have to get defensive about it. But yes, perhaps now I am going to stare."

"Why?"

"I don't know," Rollo replied, "I just think it's odd. You look so composed and stern normally, but now you're..."

"Yes?"

"You're adorable."

"Flamm!"

For once, Malleus was the one being flustered. As if the current role reversal wasn't enough…

"That was a compliment!" Rollo huffed. "It's just a complete one-eighty. I can't believe this is the man I was so set on destroying." He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing with a bit of amusement. If you looked close enough, the corner of his lips curled up just a bit.

"Well, I reckon its still the same objective here," Malleus said with a completely straight face.

The two were silent for another few moments, before soft laughter echoed throughout the stone room.

—☆—

“Don’t worry, I- I do have a condom.” Rollo stated, hiding his face in his palm. He reached into his wallet, pulling out the telltale shiny wrapper. Being a student council president, of course he felt responsible to carry things like this.

He moved to sit on the bed next to Malleus, the two positioning themselves to spoon comfortably over the covers. Rollo shimmied a bit, shoving down his own boxers. He was almost embarrassed to be fully hard, despite the circumstances. It was impossible for an alpha not to be when smelling an omega's scent. Rollo pulled himself close to Malleus, hand grasping his stomach and face nestled into his neck. He wrapped the condom over himself, wrapping his hand around the base to position himself.

It was only now that they had no words to share. No banter. There was an unspoken intimacy in the air; their soft breathing a declaration of love.

As the two laid on their sides, Rollo breathed deeply as he positioned himself, trying not to get overwhelmed. The scent was so strong, it was taking all of his self control to not cum just from the eroticism of the situation. They were both so inexperienced, going from that to helping with his heat-

The other man whined lowly, hair standing on end as he felt Rollo breathing against the back of his neck. His mouth was so close to his scent gland, so accessible for biting, but Rollo resisted, instead keeping his face in the between of Malleus’ neck and shoulder. After all, his horns were large, and he had to keep his head down so he may not get poked in the eye.

At last, he took another deep breath, pushing his length inside of him. Rollo could barely stand the hot, slick feeling, and the dark fire inside his stomach burned even hotter. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt. It was completely different from his own dry hand. On the other side of things, Malleus was beside himself, the feeling of being full after agonizing in heat alone was absolute bliss. It was so unlike him, to lose his decorum in such a way. He had become a sopping-wet rag of a man within this short time, and now, he leaned back against Rollo, wanting more contact with him. Rollo held on to him tightly, starting to slowly and shallowly move his hips.

Black hair spilled over Malleus’s shoulders and into his face, not having the thought nor priority to brush it aside. All that took up his mind was the fullness, the hot pleasure of each shallow thrust of his companion's length.

Rollo's arms wrapped tightly around his middle, their bodies flush against each other. His front was stark against Malleus’s back, only the dip at the arch of his back separating them.

As their movements got more intense, a thin sheen of sweat shown on both of them, their bodies tangled together in a passionate dance. As slow as they were taking it, they both seemed completely taken over by the feeling. The pace was sloppy, without a very clear rhythm at all. As Rollo’s hips moved against Malleus’s, the two only cared about the other.

"Is this- ngh, fuck-" Rollo cursed breathlessly, his hot breath eliciting a shiver down Malleus’s neck.

"Is this okay?"

Malleus nodded vaguely, too preoccupied to think about it.

"Yes."

Rollo adjusted his position a little bit, the two turning just a little more towards their stomachs. He put his leg over to try and keep himself steady, his breathing becoming shaky.

"Is it… is it alright if I knot?" He asked, once again wanting as much consent as the other man could grant.

Malleus nodded again, this time more assertively.

"Yes," He repeated, more firm, even more breathless. There was a small whimper in his tone- a conveyed desperation no one on this earth had gotten lucky enough to hear. The length of Rollo's dick brushed against every sensitive spot he didn't know he had, making him crumble to bits in his arms.

"Please-" he whined, a high and needy keen.

The sound was so unlike him that it drove the other man right over the edge, Rollo's orgasm crashing into him. His knot swelled at the base of his length, and with one last thrust, the two now were locked together, for a good while at least.

The feeling of being knotted was too hot to handle, and the feeling spurred on Malleus’s own orgasm, making him shiver with pleasure. His toes curled, and he buried his face in the pillow next to him to hide his expression as he whimpered louder than before.

The silence that soon seeped into the room was deafening. The only noise was their soft breathing, the two not even daring to move yet. However, the afterglow crept in much quicker than they would have expected.

Rollo didn't move from his place against Malleus. His face was still fastened in his neck, nose pressed against the omega's sensitive scent gland, his arms still tightly wrapped around him.

"That was… that was really-"

"It was."

Rollo chuckled softly, humming briefly.

"I must admit, I still am in shock about you being an omega. I'd known, yet I suppose it hadn't set in until now," he admitted.

Malleus made a curious sound.

"Really, Flamm?" He asked.

"Mhm," Rollo murmured.

"Presumably humans present different as their second gender from fae. I'll have to make further note of that." Malleus mumbled, closing his eyes for a few moments as he settled back against Rollo’s front.

—☆—

The knot finally deflated.

As the two turned over, exhausted from the throes of passion, the silence and their breathing was all that was audible now. Malleus leaned over against Rollo’s chest, reaching his arm across his chest. Rollo’s heart almost lept out of his chest, but what would have been a sweet moment was actually just the prince reaching for something from the nightstand.

A little device that beeped as he turned it on, making little pixelated sounds.

“Ah, you’re hungry?” Malleus said softly.

“What?” Rollo raised an eyebrow.

Malleus’s eyes darted up to Rollo’s face now.

“What, what?”

Rollo huffed softly, “What is that thing?” he questioned.

“This is Drago.” Malleus explained, his face seeming to Rollo as if he had no thoughts in his head at all. His black hair was slightly stuck to his skin, which was still slick with sweat from their activities. His cheeks were flushed, and the sight alone made the other man's breath catch. Perhaps it was because he was a prince. Perhaps it was just because he was his boyfriend. But he really was so beautiful.

Rollo simply sighed.

"Good lord, Malleus. Whatever will I do with you…"

Malleus simply replied,

"I thought you wanted to destroy me, Rollo."

[ganymedesclock]

random shout-out from someone who DEVOURED your SU theories years and years ago--you know, even if blue Fusion and all the other stuff turned out to be wrong--i'm definitely happy with the way SU turned out, but I find myself thinking--wistfully? about the universe and lore you speculated about. IDK. I do love the way the show went, but sometimes I think I liked your version of homeworld better (definitely liked your white diamond better XD)

That's kind of you to say!

I will say, some amount of theoryposting is an inevitable amount of creative writing. When we don't know where a show goes, we try to slide in what we think would fit based on what's known, which is our creation no matter how hard we try to base it in canon materials.

Some of it is weaker, some of it is stronger- I think the more forceful and bold Yellow Diamond in canon is definitely more interesting in the story Sugar and Crewniverse was telling, than the idea of a shy reclusive nerd that I put forwards. It makes Yellow working with Steven about White more meaningful, because we're not signaled from the start "hey she's a softie" and when they did that instead with Blue Diamond, it still comes with the edge of we've seen just how terrible her temper can be as early as The Answer.

Steven Universe was ultimately its own story and I was not completely right about what it was, which is fine. Sugar isn't me, and doesn't have to write "my" kind of story for it to be any good- that just means I get to write my own stories, to which SU has been a huge inspiration and challenged me to think about all the choices it did make.

I have immense respect for SU as a story that's very itself. Most of what I don't like about it feel like genuinely valid choices; I can't wholeheartedly say the meandering nature of many of the characters' arcs is "a flaw" when that very nature made their triumphs and final choices way more significant, and allowed them an almost unparalleled sense of reality to all these characters and the way that people deal with things (and don't). It creates a very distinctive flavor and identity and is committed and conscientious about it, which is a commendable thing not every piece of art gets to say.

And, yeah, that means either you like its flavor or don't. But I can definitely aspire to create something with that much style and gravitas to it.

I'd also say some of my theories around SU were born of ideological weaknesses in myself, not in that they were wrong and thus weak, but in hindsight, I realized that there were patterns I created.

About the main thing I was wrong about three for three with the Diamonds is how potentially scary they are; canon really went no-holds-barred with these grandiose personalities. This is baked deliberately into even the physical scale of the Diamonds- they are people who can thoughtlessly do a lot of damage because of their sheer size and power. We don't really need to get stereotypical "bad mean boss" scenes between Yellow Diamond and her Pearl, because the sheer scale of them defines the power imbalance. It's not surprising then that when we see a Yellow Diamond who is working to better herself in Future, she's interacting with Gems up on a desk that brings them closer to her eye level. The gap isn't closed, but she's trying to see where they are.

My versions of the Diamonds were leaning harder into how tragic and sad they were, which I think was born of a discomfort I feel very often in storytelling, that if someone is categorized as "evil" that a belief emerges that you cannot do anything evil or morally wrong to an evil person. Treating "evil" as just license to be exactly as mean and nasty as you want in response, because there's no way anybody who's done more damage than you think is reasonable could possibly have anything driving this behavior- and suggesting they have any reason to be sad or even the capacity to be sad is tantamount to being a quitter who thinks we should just let them do bad things unchecked.

Canon examined the tragedy of the Diamonds without needing to make them exaggeratedly soft. The versions of the Diamonds I created, while potentially compelling, were people who were themselves trapped, not decisive winners, who were so overtly vulnerable that I hoped people couldn't hate them.

And like I said- this is potentially compelling! A lot of this DNA carries over to the major antagonists of my original project, Chiaroscuro- so if you're missing my writing, I can guarantee those flavors are still around!

But it's ultimately born of a little bit of insecurity. The desire to make a blameless, tragic, vulnerable soul out of the villains so that people will feel obligated to see past their knee-jerk, "the character crossed a moral line and I don't want to relate to that or examine it" when I think that's important.

I think that we should be able to relate to people who make abhorrent choices. Even people who make unjustified abhorrent choices. I think we should be able to do that, and acknowledge their humanity, and not have it weaken our conviction that what's wrong is wrong.

If you can only stand against evil when it's an abstracted cartoonish force that isn't attached to anybody with feelings, when you imagine the worst person is actually not a human at all but some kind of demon from hell with no real feelings, you're not really in a good place to stand against evil. You're in particular, in a really bad place to stand against the potential for evil in yourself, and the potential of people with very bad intentions to appeal to you.

And that's something I tried to scratch at with my theories, and it's something canon also put its finger on, but canon, especially in Future, brought the added angle to this that sometimes doing the right thing and creating a better future means you don't get to punish people that did something wrong and you're mad at them.

The Diamonds are kind of dislikable and frustrating. But the scene with White Diamond and the pillar illuminates in stark contrast that the problem isn't White anymore; she's got loads of her own, and they haven't evaporated, but Steven needs to address his own malcontent and anger, rather than acting like it's all White's fault and getting rid of her would make his crisis stop. At the point White isn't a threat anymore, Steven nearly killing her is about him, not about her. It's not any evaluation on what she's done, or hasn't- what matters is that she's distant to him and he can justify she's done too much damage to have peace, so it's someone he doesn't, in the moment, mind lashing out at.

It's a point where the world is, easier, more peaceful, when we have enemies to attack that are just bad and we don't have to think about them and we don't have to think about what we do to them. But that easier world has some very ugly costs- because "mindless true evil" doesn't exist, so you have to choose to make the evil orc army out of other people.

[withsunlight]

"If you want my honest opinion?"

He wrapped his fingers in the oil rag, taking a moment to clean it well-enough before moving onto the next. Somehow the clunky, glittery rings adorning the digits managed to avoid the dirt and grime of his work even where a streak had managed to make its way onto the high bone of his cheek. Sweat slicked the line of his hair for the California heat (and the stuffiness of the garage) and whatever product he'd used to slick it back that morning had long since let go with dark strands hanging into his eyes.

"Junk the clunker. Use the money to get something better. Just gonna spend more of it on repairs than it's worth."

Over his shoulder the rag went. Tongue brushed over his teeth and Angel stopped beside the client (downwind, of course).

"I can help you hock it. Some parts are salvageable but otherwise ... you gotta time bomb here."

as the daughter of someone who’d spent his life around cars, it feels rational enough to think that some of the knowledge he’d acquired over the years of navigating a black - coloured cab through the streets of london would’ve rubbed off on her from proximity alone. but it’s become increasingly clear over the last couple months she’s been out here ( and for the first time in her life, in actual need of a car ) that automotive osmosis isn’t a thing. choices always become more black and white in hindsight --- and the series of decisions that had led her here are looking less and less rosy the more she thinks about it.

and she’s had plenty of time for thinking lately; from the hour she spent on the side of the offramp waiting for a tow truck, the drive over sitting shotgun making a list of all the things that’ve gone wrong with the car since she’d bought it, to now nervously chewing on the side of her thumb as she does worst - case - scenario math in her head before she asks just how bad is it.

( one thing she had managed to learn from her father --- or at least she thought she had --- was being able to tell when someone was trying to take the piss out of her. and maybe the desperation for a car had clouded her judgment earlier. but angel here --- when she asked for his honest opinion, it felt like he’d actually give it to her and not pay her a bunch of lip service with a high price tag. )

but that didn’t mean she liked what he had to say when that honesty came out. “fuck’s sake,” she groans quietly before it unravels into a sigh, her palms pressing against her temples as if she’s anticipating one hell of a headache. ( which, considering the shit she finds herself in now, is practically inevitable. ) “so it’s as good as rubbish, then? s’pose you really do get what you pay for.” she focuses on the open bay and the sliver of a tail light that’s still visible while her car’s up on the lift before glancing back at him, eager to find at least a little hope in his eyes when he sets himself beside her. ( hope that he can salvage her shitbox? not this time. but maybe hope of another kind. )

“sure. that’d be helpful, actually.” the smile she offers up wilts quickly in the sun, and not just because of the heat of the mid-day sun doing it’s worst on the both of them. that’s three months rent essentially down the drain, with no real idea of how much she’ll even make back. “i wouldn’t even know where to start,” hocking it for parts otherwise would sound like a worst - case scenario, but where does it even leave her when he’s making it not only sound like the best option, but the only one? “honestly, it’s a shame torching it isn’t an option at this point.”

it certainly wouldn’t be the most profitable, but it would at least feel cathartic…

[coldest-bowl-of-soup]

If my friend didn’t delete her tumbler years ago I would swear you were talking to her. Her dad was a suburban cop who made her super paranoid especially about cities.

Last year got a great deal for some Broadway tickets and she agreeded that it would be fun to see a show together and have a day trip to the city. The conversation we had about getting there was mind boggling.

She refused to take the train straight to the city, I compromised and offered to drive to Brooklyn (I have family there) and take the subway. She googled if my family lived in a “safe neighborhood” which was insulting. Then she was nervous that the subway station at Broadway wasn’t safe. After contemplating the subway ride a bit more, she decided that wasn’t safe either. Even though my 80 year old grandmother does it solo all the time.

After trying to brainstorm some more ideas I offered that we can take the bus from my family’s home to the dock and take one of those cute little ferries to the city. Since last time I was there they were very clean and honestly a cool way to travel. Vetoed again, but she still insisted that she wanted to go.

She wanted to drive there and park in the parking garage next to the theater. For those who don’t know why this is a dumb idea, let me explain. There is a crazy amount of tolls to get to Brooklyn let alone Manhattan, personally I never driven to Manhattan since I know better. Second, every time I have been in the city, I feel bad for the drivers. The traffic is always horrible, people are always walking in front of them, I assume traffic cameras are everywhere, and then they have to park the car. Since let’s be honest street parking on Broadway isn’t gonna happen, anyone driving is going to use a parking garage. In that area I once saw a parking garage list $20 for 15 minutes. Sure I bet I could find better parking prices than that but I’m just saying parking isn’t cheap. So I explained all of that and told her that I wouldn’t drive there even if hell froze over and if she wanted to drive I would meet her at the parking garage. Obviously she didn’t want to drive anymore.

Honestly at this point it was clear that it wasn’t going to work out since the train, subway, bus, and ferries were all ruled out even with the compromise of driving to Brooklyn. So we never ordered those tickets. In hindsight I don’t think even if I got her to the city, she would have had fun, since she grew up being told going to cities were dangerous, and she would of never been able to relax.

Sorry for the long post, but my main point is that people were told from an early age, cities are dangerous. This develops not a bias but a fear of every rumor they ever heard about cities. Though they aren’t going to admit it, they are just going to say cities have a lot of crime or they are unsafe. I personally blame the 24 hour news cycle regurgitating fear mongering stories that terrify parents who then scare their kids. Cities have been a target for fear mongering since the white flight and since it is easy to find a crazy story within a large population like a city. So yes, some people have died on the subway but statistically you are significantly more likely to die crashing your car. Yes, there are unsafe neighborhoods in cities but there are also sketchy / dangerous places in the suburbs.

"Cities are loud, smog filled, crowded, expensive, crime filled hellholes" - girl who lives in a large house in the exurbs that depends on the city to maintain her standard of living

[smallishbabes]

It’s the way that both Techno and Phil spend most of the their time fretting about their friends’ safety but not worrying at all when they’re around each other in DSMP that makes me crazy

[strawberrynamjoon]

farmer boy, i love you

– Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

– Genre: farming!au, lowkey e2l, smut, humor & tons of nagging

– Word count: 35k

– Summary: Needing change in your life you decided it would be a brilliant idea to move to your uncle’s small farm, helping him and your cousin Jimin with the daily work. What you didn’t plan was to fall in love with your beautiful yet very annoying neighbour Taehyung, who seemed to make it his personal mission to tease you every chance he got. And what you expected even less was that he seemed to like you too.

– Warnings: includes smut, alcohol and mentions death of a father

– A/N: this is a rewritten edition of a fic i already posted before when i was still writing for got7 but i loved it too much to let it go <3

– Disclaimer: This is not proofread because I was too lazy, so you might find a few mistakes!

Walking the long but yet very pretty way towards the small village that, from today on, was supposed to be your new home you felt a bit indifferent. While you were convinced that it was time for you to start a new chapter of your life you still couldn’t help but feel anxious about taking such a big step.

Moving to the farm that belonged to your uncle seemed like such a great idea when he first offered the plan he had to you – the place held such special memories and as a child you always wanted nothing more than to live there, working on the farm, supporting your uncle and his son, your super annoying yet lovely cousin Jimin.

Now that the idea wasn’t an idea anymore but your reality you were scared and not so sure anymore that this was the right step, yet your second thoughts didn’t matter anymore, it was already too late for you.

The big city you grew up had nothing to offer you anymore – so now, you wanted, or better said needed a cut in your life.

There was nothing you used to love more than sneaking out with your cousin at night, secretly meeting up with your friends, going for a swim in the small lake right next to your house. You wouldn't trade those memories for nothing, cherishing each and every one of them. So, you concluded that this town was the best option you had.

It had been such a long time since you visited, you actually felt a bit nostalgic when you arrived in the center of the town. The residents liked to call the marketplace at the beginning of the town „the heart“ of the city.

Ever since your last visit many years ago nothing seemed different. Basically, it was a round and rather big circle, surrounded by a small café that has been there all your life, right next to it the library that was owned by the Jeon family, the parents of Jimin's closest friend, Jungkook. You couldn't help but smile as you remembered how you used to hide in the library, reading the same few books over and over again.

Opposite of the library was the old restaurant – every single rather important event was celebrated in that specific restaurant, no matter if it were birthdays, anniversaries, New Year's Eve or whatever other occasion there was.

It was so popular not only because of the delicious food they offered but also because it was literally the only restaurant around. Your uncle and your neighbors, the Kims, were providing them with the food they needed, so you usually always got food for free which lead to you and Jimin spending a lot of time at the restaurant, no matter how often your uncle insisted he could cook dinner for you – in hindsight you felt kind of bad for him because the two of you constantly turned down his meals.

And last, but certainly not least, there was the little pub that you never actually were allowed to spend time in since you used to be too young. The Mins, the owners of the place, were very strict about that. None of you and your friends were ever allowed to be inside the pub as long as you were minors – even their son Yoongi rarely ever saw it from the inside, probably because the adults didn’t want the children around after work was done.

As you stood in the middle of the marketplace you couldn't help but smile as the last sunrays of this warm late summer day were falling right onto the pub, making it look a bit more beautiful than it actually was. The paint on the outside was splintered and the sign that simply said ‘The Mins’ Pub’ was slowly falling apart – somehow all of this gave it a certain charm though.

The vibe of the village always made you feel comfortable. There were about 150 people living here if you had to guess and the next supermarket was a twenty-five minute drive away but the people seemed so happy, not worrying about a lot of things.

You decided that a short stop in the pub before you’d go home to your uncle’s house wouldn’t hurt anyone. After all, you were way too curious to finally see the magical place from inside.

As you carefully entered the door you felt cheerful – it looked exactly like you always imagined it to be. Most of the furniture was made out of old wood, the bar was long and it was the first thing one would notice as they came in since it was on the opposite wall of the entrance.

Your smile was wide when you spotted the one man you hoped to find standing behind the bar. Of course, Yoongi was the bartender by now, it was always his plan to work here, to him it seemed to be the coolest thing ever to be a bartender, especially in his own bar – and turns out, he was right, he looked extremely cool behind the bar, washing glasses while chatting with villagers.

For a second you studied him, he looked dangerously handsome. Certainly a lot taller than the last time you had interacted with him and his face seemed more mature, a defined jawline but the same round cheeks, his hair long and falling in his face, making him look almost evil for a seocnd. If it wasn’t for gummy smile you would have had to look twice to be sure it was the same Min Yoongi you spent so much time with as a child.

The expression on his face as he recognized you, the young lady from out of town, was priceless – his whole relaxed and cool facade vanished immediately as he stared at you with his eyes wide open, a questioning glance as he saw you. He was caught off guard, his slightly opened mouth giving him away.

“Just the man I hoped to find. Yoongi, you look good,” you playfully flirted as you walked towards the bar, “I’d like to have one beer please.”

Within seconds he was walking away from his place behind the bar to come and embrace you in a tight hug before mustering you, shortly studying your face to make sure you were really the person he thought you were.

“(Y/N), live and in color? I thought you forgot about us,” he joked, the surprise of you in his bar very pleasant to him.

A joyful laugh came out of your mouth as he walked back behind the bar, opening both, you and himself, a beer.

“You could’ve called, you know? No need to surprise me like this. My old heart can’t take those kinds of surprises anymore,” he sounded lighthearted, just like you remembered him.

Immediately you felt ten times lighter, clicking with people you haven’t seen in a long time was one of the purest and most magical feelings in existence and you were more than relieved to see that you and Yoongi were equally as excited to be reunited after such a long time. Not getting along with your old friends, especially him, was one of the many fears you had about moving here.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t assume Jimin actually kept quiet about me coming back,” you admitted.

“How long has it been since we saw each other?” he asked as he was leaning against the bar, his whole attention on his former best friend, still having an obviously hard time to believe that you were actually sitting in front of him right then and there.

Before you could give him an answer someone else started to answer for you from behind you and you immediately recognized his orotund voice, “Six long years,” your cousin said while he and another familiar face walked up to you.

Jimin pulled you into an even deeper hug than Yoongi did and you felt home within seconds. Jungkook was right beside him, of course, where else would he be than next to Jimin? The two of them still were inseparable and it was almost heartwarming to see how little has changed.

“How did you manage to not say anything?” Jungkook scoffed in shock before looking at you, “It’s good to see you again, (y/n). I can’t believe Jimin didn’t tell us.”

You were almost amazed to see how much he grew, his chin could easily rest on your head by now, something that you would’ve never thought could happen. Jungkook has always been the youngest and smallest kid back then and now he was the tallest in the room.

“I wasn’t sure if she’d actually come. Didn’t want to get your hopes up, Jungkook,” he teased his friend, still nagging about the crush he had on you when you were literally five years old.

Jungkook rolled his eyes at his comment before bringing his attention back to you and Yoongi, sitting down on the stool beside yours.

“So, how long are you going to stay?” Yoongi asked.

For the first time, you actually had to say the truth out loud, making it feel much more real.

“I’m not planning to leave again,” you sounded more confident than you expected, the nice encounter with your old friends almost making you feel like all of your previous worries were groundless.

There was a moment of silence, both of them not knowing what to say – it almost seemed like you broke them.

“You know, I never saw you speechless until now,” Jimin chuckled amused.

“You mean –”, Jungkook started to form a sentence but dropped it, not knowing how to continue.

“You’re moving here?” Yoongi asked, wrinkles on his forehead as his brows narrowed in confusion.

As you slowly nodded his concentrated expression vanished and changed into a grin. “You’re actually moving here,” he repeated breathlessly, more to himself than to you, slowly nodding to himself as if he had to progress the new information.

“Welcome home then, (y/n). I think this is a reason to celebrate,” he smiled while pouring shots into a few glasses in front of him.

Time went by fast and you had fun learning about what happened in the last six years. It didn’t sound like a lot has changed though, they were still as close and as fun to be around as you rememberd.

Every time you looked at them it hit you how fast time flew by, it felt like a just few months ago all of you were playing hide and seek in the middle of the night while your parents had no idea you sneaked out.

A few hours and way too many shots later, you and Jimin walked home, the night sky was breathtakingly clear and full of stars – a sight you simply would never see in your hometown, all the city lights drowing them out. You forgot how special it felt to walk under millions of stars.

No matter how much fun you had in the bar, walking home with Jimin was your favorite part of today, you definitely missed him the most.

He told you a bit about how Hoseok and Namjoon were thinking about taking over the old restaurant because the owners are getting too old to manage everything and about Jungkook and Seokjin being into the same girl, without knowing that Namjoon was already dating her in secret – it was nice that he filled you in with everything you missed, so you could start right where you left.

As you arrived at home your uncle was sitting in the rocking chair on the porch in front of the old farmhouse.

“Uncle Minwoo,“ you almost shouted out as you saw him, jogging over to where he was sitting. Minwoo always was your favorite uncle and you were his favorite niece, much to the dislike of your siblings.

“(Y/n),” he laughed as you hugged him, “you smell like you had a good time in the pub.”

“We actually have a small surprise for you,” Jimin seemed excited as he told you to follow him.

He lead you to the old little cottage that has been on the farm for as long as you were able to think – back in the days it was mainly used for storing tools and electronics that shouldn’t be exposed to the rain. Confusion coming over you, your uncle handed you a key and you opened the small cottage. Stepping inside, you couldn’t believe your eyes.

“Welcome home,“ your uncle chuckled as you observed the room in front of you. A small kitchen, a couch and a TV in the living room, a bed on the other side of the room. They painted the walls white and decorated a bit – it might have been something small but enough to touch you deeply.

You were sure you could stay here forever, it was cute and welcoming, like a real home. Not a thousand words could describe how much you appreciated them for putting in so much effort, just to make you feel comfortable.

As you thanked both, Jimin and your uncle, the three of you talked for a bit longer, the excitement taking over before your uncle advised you that it would be better to catch some sleep – work wouldn’t wait for you and you had to be thankful for any second of sleep you could get.

Waking up the next morning, you immediately regretted the alcohol you had the night before. Your phone said it was currently six in the morning and while being woken up by the sound of chicken and cows was way more relaxing than your usual alarm clock you still would have preferred to just sleep in.

Walking outside a few minutes later you inspected the farm – it was a giant property with two big houses on it. Half of the farm belonged to your uncle, he took care of the animals and artisan goods, the other half belonged to the Kims, in charge of the crop harvest

Starting the day with feeding the chickens and collecting eggs was one of the easier tasks you had to face today since it almost didn’t require any kind of skill. While you were picking up another egg you flinced as you heard someone scream at you from behind.

“Hey! Put the eggs back! Who in the world steals eggs these days?” the deep voice belonged to a man but before you could turn around to find out who was screaming at you, he held your wrists behind your back, not giving you any space to move.

Your attempt to free yourself was almost embarrassing, it was clear that you had no chance against whoever decided to disturb you.

Turning your head around to scream at the stranger you muted as soon you met his eyes – the words you wanted to scream wouldn’t come out as you looked into the familiar face of his, your brain working hard as you realized who he was.

His thick eyebrows were furrowed, his dark eyes were piercing you, filled with a mixture of anger and annoyance – he was still staring at you and waiting for an explanation.

“Kim–“ your voice died and you fastly cleared your throat, “Kim Taehyung?”

His annoyed expression changed into a confused one as you called him by his name. You couldn’t believe he was accusing you of stealing eggs.

“Let go of me!” you demanded but Taehyung wasn’t planning to listen to you, not trusting you.

“Who are you?”, he asked harshly, “You’re not from here. How do you know my name?”

The grip on your wrists became tighter and actually started to hurt a bit.

“I’m (Y/N). Minwoo’s niece,” you replied just as harsh as he asked you, “Didn’t Mrs. Kim teach you any manners?”

He let you go and you immediately grabbed your own wrist just so he couldn’t grab them again. A small pout formed on your lip as you looked at them, trying not to let him see that it actually hurt.

“What are you doing here?” he asked you, voice cold.

Now you were facing him and you had to stop for a second to take in his beauty. As he was holding you, you didn’t really manage to study his face since you were too busy trying to free yourself but now you started realizing how handsome he became.

It's not like he was ugly before, you and him just never clicked and that’s why you never gave his face any kind of attention.

Taehyung wasn’t a bad guy, you knew that because Yoongi repeatedly assured you that he was actually a very loving person once you get to know him.

Personally, you just never really got the chance to, since he definitely wasn’t interested in anything that had to do with you. Not in a mean way though, he just didn’t seem to care about the girls in town, especially not the one who always came over the summer break and then left again.

Glowering at you, he was waiting for an answer. You, on the other hand, didn’t dare to look him into his eyes, instead your eyes were studying the rest of his face. His features were sharper and manlier now, his brows thick but he still had the same wrinkles around his eyes.

For a second you wanted to look at his lips but you stopped yourself, not wanting him to get wrong ideas.

“What are you doing here?” you asked in retund instead of giving an answer, “Didn’t you always say you wanted to leave this place?”

He rolled his eyes as you avoided his question.

“I asked first,“ he insisted, making it hard for you not to chuckle at the very immature conversation you were having.

“I am working here. Don’t you have some vegetables to take care of?” you asked coldly asked before turning your back to him.

“You better get used to my face, if you scare me like this one more time I might have a heart attack,” you added as your attention was back to feeding the chickens.

But instead of leaving Taehyun was walking to stand right beside you, “You’re working here? Why would you do that?” he asked. It never was a secret that he wanted to leave this town, he used to talk about it a lot back then already and, even though he still was here, apparently, he still wanted to leave.

“I’m supporting my family,” you shrugged, not looking at him. You really didn’t want to be cold to him but you were tired and you knew how Taehyung was, he didn’t mean to be rude, he had a soft nature, everyone could see that once they got to see his warm smile but sometimes he was a bit rough.

You could see him shake his head in confusion as you were continuing with your work, “Okay, you go milk those cows and churn that butter if this is what fulfills you, (y/n). I’ll go back to work,“ he pointed at the field of tomatoes on the other side of the farm your families shared and left you alone again.

Walking over to the cows, you couldn't help but wonder why he still was here. He was a very clever guy, he could easily go and leave this town to study and open a business or whatever it was he wanted to do. Glancing over to him one more time, you tried to divert your attention to milking the cows.

The field of tomatoes he was currently working on was not too far away but luckily still far enough to give you a bit of privacy. He seemed to be very invested in picking the best tomatoes he could find, a concentrated glance on his face. And you really should try to concentrate too, since you haven’t milked a cow in years.

And you failed miserably. To your desperation, no one was around when you went looking for Jimin or your uncle to help you. Trotting back to the cows you sat down on a small stool in front of one them, giving it another try.

You groaned at the cow, laying your head back and closing your eyes in frustration. It was only your first day and you knew practice makes perfect but you wanted to cry.

“Just give me your stupid milk, please,” you mumbled while taking a deep breath, your eyes still closed.

“Are you sure this is the right job for you? If you can’t even milk Bertha maybe you should reconsider,“ Taehyung’s voice startled you, making you jump a bit. The grin on his face clearly was teasing, full of satisfaction because you were struggling, “Do you need help?”

“Please,“ you didn’t care about the triumphing grin on his face, you were more than willing to take his offer. Any kind of help was good. And in the end, you didn’t dislike Kim Taehyung, you just weren’t close to him.

He nodded before telling you to wait for a second as he walked towards the little shed. Coming out again he held a strange looking machine in his hand while attaching it to the cow’s udder.

“We haven't milked them by hand for years,” he explained to you as he took your wrist once again, this time more careful though, and slightly pulled you towards the cow’s udder, right next to him.

“Watch closely, I’ll show you once and if you can’t follow, you’re on your own,” his words sounded harsh but you didn’t take them that way. The fact that Yoongi was his best friend was something you two had in common and if he wanted you to give Taehyung a chance you would do that. For Yoongi, but also for yourself.

After all, Taehyung was your neighbor and, in addition, he was a handsome man, you wouldn’t mind being able to look at his face whenever you wanted at all.

You saw the way he acts around the guys and you saw that he indeed had a very soft heart, maybe he just had a hard time showing it.

“Hey! Are you even watching?” he asked annoyed while glancing at you, “I know how to do this, I am not the one that has to learn. I’m being nice here, don’t waste my time.”

You chuckled a bit at him losing his temper so easily. “Yes, Taehyung, I’m watching," you said grinning, “Wasting your time was not a task on my list today.”

After he rolled his eyes at you you could swear you saw a small smile on his face while he started to milk the cow, explaining to you what he was doing step by step.

You tried to concentrate on how exactly he does it, what movements his hands made and so on but you kept on finding yourself thinking about how good his hands looked – what in the world was wrong with you? It's not like you've never seen an attractive man before so you had no clue why your hormones were playing a game with you.

After you started to try milking the cows yourself you felt more than relieved that you actually managed to do it right. Letting out a small ‘thank god’ under your breath you realized that Taehyung still stood right beside you, watching your every move.

“You know, you can go back to the toma–” you started to say before he interrupted you in the same moment.

“Just a tip for you,“ he said, not sounding cold for the first time, “Don’t dress up for farm work. You’ll ruin your clothes. You can still wear cute outfits after you’re finished here. But while working just wear something old,“ he said as he was just about to turn around before you had to take the chance to annoy him one last time for now.

“You think my outfit is cute?” the grin on your face was wide and you were way too amused.

As a response his eyes squinted together in regret, knowing that you’ll probably never stop teasing him about it.

“Please don't,“ was all he could whisper frustrated under his breath.

“What a softie you are,“ you playfully poked his upper arm, “Didn’t know you had that in you.”

He let out yet another sigh, sounding almost whiny but the smile on the corner of his mouth came out nonetheless, “Are you always this awful?“

“Dear diary,“ you said in a nagging tone, “Today Kim Taehyung complimented my–”

Before you could end your sentence he was covering your mouth, shaking his head in disbelief slowly, “I’ll go back to work, (y/n). Don’t forget to churn the butter. The wooden pitcher we use for it is in the shed,“ and with that, he walked back to his side of the farm again.

Just a second before he arrived he glanced over to you again, screaming so that you would hear him, “I didn’t compliment you okay? Don't let it get to your head.“

Waving at him from the shed, you nodded your head. “Sure. Talk to you later! Your outfit looks cute too by the way”, you screamed back.

Maybe working next to Taehyung wasn’t so bad after all, if he was always such an easy target to provocate you'd at least have your fun.

When Jimin came into the shed with the tools to take over a few hours later, you were busy churning the butter, cursing under your breath.

Sweat was dripping all over your forehead and it was seriously tiring, every single muscle of your arm hurt, including some muscles you didn’t even know you had. You weren’t sure if you could manage to do that on a daily base. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about a gym membership anymore.

Your cousin stared at you confused, a sly grin in the corner of his mouth, “What exactly are you doing?“

“I’m churning the goddamn butter. Why is it so hard?” you complained while looking up to him. He was holding two beers in his hands, handing one over to you before starting to laugh at your action.

“Why would you use that old thing for that? We have a machine that churns it for us,“ he laughed, “I don’t know why we even still have that old thing.”

“Fucking Kim Taehyung,“ you cursed under your breath, leaving Jimin even more confused.

“You met him?” he asked while sitting down in the hay beside you.

“I did," you hissed, “He was the one who told me to do it this way.”

Jimin’s smile grew wide as he tried to contain his laughter, “I didn’t know he could be so evil.”

He almost sounded satisfied that you were getting fooled by him, “He likes you if he teases you.”

“Well, that’s not a very nice way of showing it,“ you took a big sip of the beer, knowing that you probably deserved it for all the teasing earlier, before continuing, “You didn’t tell me he became so handsome though.”

Jimin’s eyes widened immediately as you confessed and you could tell he was trying not to spit out his drink out of shock. He fastly swallowed, “You have a crush on our Tae?”

You shook your head scoffing, lightly kicking his leg, “A crush? How old are we? I just think he’s very attractive. But he was pretty rude though.”

Jimin pressed his lips together in a thin line, looking into the sky, „His father died two years ago. He had a hard time. But he opens up sooner or later, just be patient with him – I promise, he is one of the most kind and caring people in this town.“

You gulped at the news, “What a sad loss, Mr. Kim was such a ray of sunshine, always ready to help if help was needed.”

Jimin nodded, “He was. Olli was only six years old when his father died. But dad took a lot of care of them since then.”

There was a short silence. You still remembered little Olli, Taehyung’s younger brother. The last time you saw him he was barely two years old.

“I can’t believe he’s your type though. I thought I really wanted to set you up with Jungkook,“ Jimin broke the silence before you could think about it any longer, almost offended.

You laughed at him. He was close to Taehyung, you knew that, but he always wanted you to date Jungkook, only for the purpose of having him as an official family member.

“That won’t happen,”, you broke it to him, much to his disappointment.

A deep sigh came from him, “Well if you want Taehyung so bad, come to the pub with us. I bet he’ll be there too tonight. We are meeting at eight. What do you say?”

“I don’t want him, I simply said that he is good looking,”  you desperately hoped he wouldn’t tease you all the time about this from now on, already starting to slowly regret that you even brought it up in the first place. And as much as you would like to go out to the pub with the others you had a date with your bathtub that you wouldn’t want to miss for anything else tonight.

“I’ll pass though. I’ll come next time,“ you promised, standing up and walking towards your door.

“I can’t wait to tell Yoongi that you and Taehyung are going to become a couple. How exciting!” he yelled after you in his typical teasing voice, making you laugh out in frustration. Sharing your opinion on Taehyung’s look with your cousin probably wasn't the best idea.

It fastly got dark outside and you were lighting the candles in your bathroom, the bathtub slowly filling up with hot water.

Exactly what your muscles needed after churning the butter all afternoon. Putting a bit of milk in the bathtub, you wondered if you had some honey in the farmhouse by any chance. As you wrapped the first towel you could find around your body, you wanted to hush over to your uncle’s house to check. But what stopped you from your plans was a shadow you saw walking past your window, making you freeze until someone rang your door.

Opening it, no one else than Taehyung was standing in front of it, his work clothes traded into sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, a basket in his hand and his eyes fixed on your exposed legs.

The towel you were wearing luckily covered all of your breast and bottom but that was about it. And, as if it couldn't get worse, it also had a lot of fairies on it – it used to be your favorite towel when you were about five years old. Still, you didn’t need Taehyung to see you wearing it.

“Taehyung?“ you asked him, unsure why he was visiting but he was still looking at the exposed parts of your body, not doing a good job at hiding the fact that he got distracted by your legs. You barely noticed though because your thoughts wandered to this morning. “How dare you not telling me that we have a machine for the butter? Are you crazy?”

“My arms hurt so much,“ you added in a complaining tone, too tired to fight him so you decided to whine instead.

Coming back to reality, he laughed at you, his eyes now looking at your face, “You seriously did it all by yourself?” – he was lucky the wrinkles around his eyes were so cute whenever he laughed, otherwise you would have killed him right there, “You must be pretty strong then.”

“What do you want?” you asked him annoyed before you saw his eyes wandering down to your legs once again.

Not missing out on the opportunity to nag him, you chuckled, “Do you like my outfit?” as you struck a small pose, you had to be careful not to expose any parts he shouldn’t see.

Rolling his eyes he handed over the basket, “Seriously, you’re so annoying.”

You grinned, thinking it’s quite funny how easy it was to annoy him, “But you still think I’m cute, so it doesn’t matter.”

There definitely was a smile hidden on his lips that he tried to hide at all cost, but you could see it reaching his eyes, “This is for you. My mum put your favorites in it. Tomatoes, cherries, peaches, blueberries. She asked me to bring it to you,“ the man said, trying to sound as uninterested and unbothered as possible.

“That–“ you started to gather your words, feeling very touched about the little gift but a bit confused as to why Taehyung brought it to you, “That’s so nice of her. I’ll come over tomorrow and thank her.”

He immediately focused on you again, “No, it's fine. I’ll tell her. She’s kind of sick at the moment, she needs to rest, Olli is not even letting me go near her because he doesn’t want anyone else to get sick, so I doubt he would let you come over.”

You mustered him suspiciously but decided to leave him be, you surely teased him enough for today and didn’t want him to actually dislike you.

“Alright, Tae. Thank you,“ you gave him a soft smile as you were about to close the door.

“Wait,” he stopped you before you closed the door and you waited for him to say something, “Are you planning to go to the pub later?“ – if you didn’t expect him to ask one thing than it was this one. Why did he care suddenly?

“I don’t think so. Churning that butter has really worn me out, you know?” you said, laughing lightly, “And my bathtub is already waiting for me.”

“Oh alright. That’s cool. See you soon, I guess,“ he said before awkwardly giving you a small smile and leaving again. What a strange yet interesting guy he was.

Something about him made you look forward to your future on the farm. But before you could let it get to your head, you were interrupted by a text from no one else than Yoongi.

[Yoongi, 22:29]

Glad to hear you're getting yourself a man! Taehyung and (y/n), how sweet.

You let out a small laugh before finally meeting your only date for tonight: Your bathtub. Though you had to admit that the handsome face from next door was coming to your mind every now and then.

After a week you slowly got used to the daily work on the farm, your body was finally starting to react differently, your arms weren’t getting as sore anymore and waking up early was bothering you less and less.

It was a sunny Saturday which meant you had to gather all of the goods your uncle wanted to sell on the market the next morning. Picking out the best eggs, milk, wool and cheese was pretty boring, especially since Jimin left early because he was going on a date tonight with some random girl you never heard about before. But since you wanted him to be happy, and also because his teasing about Taehyung was slowly but surely making you go insane, you told him it would be okay if he let you work alone today.

It took you about an hour until you were finally done with carrying all of the boxes into your uncle’s car as you saw Mrs. Kim, Taehyung’s mother, and decided to help her quickly carrying her own boxes filled with pretty fruits and vegetables.

His mother was a beautiful and lovely lady, always has been. Her black hair was long and even though there were a few grey strands in it by now she still looked as young as ever.

“Mrs. Kim, let me help you,“ you shouted while jogging over to her, “Where’s Taehyung? Letting his mother carry all the heavy boxes of fruits and vegetables alone is not a nice thing to do,” you disapproved, one box already in your hands.

She let out a laugh and you were reminded of how warm her laughter was, it sounded like the giggle of a small child.

“It’s fine, I told him to rest for today. He always works so much,” she let out a worried sigh, “I’m very thankful, I know helping me on the farm was not what he wanted to do with his life but he does it for me.”

You never really thought about it that way before – that might explain why he was still here despite always hating the small village he was born and grew up in, it was probably hard for him to leave his family behind after losing his father.

While carrying a box full of blueberries you ate a handful, not able to hold back. The Kim’s blueberries have always been your favorites, none of the ones back at home could compare to the juicy fruits you'd get here.

“You still love blueberries, I see,” She hummed joyfully as she was carrying the last box to the car.

“I am obsessed with them,” you answered, “Oh how rude of me – I still wanted to thank you for the little basket full of fruits you send to me. I was in heaven, your peaches were even better than I remembered.”

Mrs. Kim looked at you in confusion for a second before getting a grip of the situation, the confusion vanishing while a different kind of expression came to her face, unable for you to read at first.

“So he can actually be charming,“ she mumbled to herself with an almost mischievous smirk and within seconds you knew exactly what she was talking about. That little shit.

Scoffing, you wondered why Taehyung wouldn't just admit that the little basket was a present from him, not from his mother – who would do something so sweet without wanting to let the other person know? But then, on the other hand, you didn’t understand Taehyung at all.

“Mum,” you heard his voice yell out while he walking out of the door to their house.

When he saw you he froze for a second, “Oh, hey, (y/n),“ he said with a slight and not really convincing smile, it almost seemed forced.

You nodded towards him, ready to go back to work and leave them alone, as his little brother came running outside, chasing after Taehyung.

“Tete,” he let out a scream as he tried to jump on his back. He was surprisingly tall for an eight-year-old, almost managing to get to Taehyung’s shoulders if he jumped high enough, “Can I come with you? Please?”

Before he could answer, Olli’s attention shifted somewhere else. Or better said, onto someone else. To be precise, you caught his attention, the girl standing in front of his mother and brother, a stranger he’s never seen before.

“Who are you?” he asked curiously, studying you exactly, “Are you Minwoo’s niece?”

You kneeled down to be at an eye to eye level with him, shaking his hand, “Yes, that’s me. I’m (y/n). It's nice to meet you.”

He had a big grin on his face, “Hi, I’m Olli,“ after introducing himself to you he turned around to his big brother, “Did you make the basket for her?”

Taehyung shushed him within a second, giving him a warning glance before trying to cover up his story, “Yes, I did it because mum asked me to.”

She let out a sarcastic laugh, making fun of her son, “Sure. It was totally me asking you to do that.”

A heavy sigh fell from Taehyung’s mouth before shaking his head in disbelief, “Where is your cousin? He promised he’d help me picking up our new couch.”

“Oh, I am afraid he forgot. He’s on a date right now,“ you informed him.

Taehyung let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temple, not believing that Jimin completely forgot about him. Now even more frustrated, he started mumbling, “It’s always the same with this guy.”

“I’ll help you,“ you volunteered determined, not even bothering to ask him first, knowing he’d say no anyway, “I’m done with work for today and I don’t mind coming along.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll go alone,“ he insisted, clearly mad at your cousin before walking over to his car. Not caring you decided to follow him, hoping that he’d be nice to Jimin if you helped him instead, even though you had little hope.

“Stop being so stubborn,“ you said to him as you opened the door and sat down inside the car, “Just accept my help.”

And much to your surprise, he did accept it, not bothering to start another discussion with you. Maybe he was just too tired of the constant bickering going on between the two of you.

As the two of you drove out of town the sky looked like it was painted in golden colors, the sun slowly setting but the air was still warm, brushing the arm you held out of the open window.

“Where are we even going?” you asked the obviously bothered boy beside you.

“It’s not far away, the dude I’m buying the couch from lives like twenty minutes away,“ he answered, his eyes glued to the street, „You really didn’t have to come. I could’ve easily done it alone.”

Slowly but surely, you were starting to get mad at Taehyung. You couldn’t tell why his constant attitude was getting to you but it did. Of course, he didn't have to like you and honestly, maybe you did go a bit too far with the teasing but after all, you were neighbors, co-workers and also shared the same group of friends. Being nice to each other was the least you could do – especially when you knew that he wasn’t like that at all towards other people. You’ve seen him interact with his little brother and his mother and his friends, he was a warm and loving person, laughing and joking whenever he could. He just wouldn’t open up towards you.

„Dude, you’re the worst. Can you keep quiet for once and accept help? Stop being so rude all the time, being nice every now and then won’t hurt you, you know? You can take your bad mood out on Jimin later.” you snapped at him, not even intended to sound so mean but it just happened – you just wanted him to at least accept you.

He peaked at you, his eyes grew wide in shock at your rant. Even though your voice was still low he clearly heard the frustration in it, “What do you mean? I am being nice all the time. I told you that you shouldn’t wear your good clothes to work in. That was a piece of nice advice I gave you for example.”

You scoffed at him not knowing if he was being serious, “You also attacked me because you thought I was stealing chicken and made me churn butter.”

He chuckled amused as you brought the churning up, “I still can’t believe you did that.”

“My arms still hurt. You’re an asshole,“ you rolled your eyes, not in the mood to put up with Taehyung being, well, himself, when you were just being nice, “If that is your interpretation of being nice I’m beyond sorry for your future girlfriend.”

“Hey, now you’re the one being mean,“ he acted offended and honestly, a bit confused, not knowing why the two of you were fighting. You weren't even mad at him, you just felt fed up, craving at least peace between the two of you.

“Well, maybe you just need a taste of your own medicine,“ you shrugged, calming down a bit as the discussion started to shift to a more playful mood than a serious one.

But before you or Taehyung could fuel the fire and add anything into the it, you let out a small scream as he was turning right with full speed, making you feel like you were about to crash, holding onto the seatbelt for dear life.

“For fucks sake, where did you learn how to drive? Do you not know that you’re supposed to slow down before turning?” you asked him, gasping for air.

“If this is already scaring you, I’ll give you the nice advice to not drive with Yoongi,” he laughed out loud as he parked his car in front of a big house, “Ready to use the strength in your arms built up from churning butter?”

It took you about twenty minutes to carry all the parts of the couch from the third floor to the trailer attached on Taehyung’s car. When you were done it was beginning to get dark outside and the weather was cooling down, making you shiver a bit.

All done, you sat back inside Taehyung’s car as he was securing the trailer so you could drive back home safely – or at least as safe as a ride with him could be.

“If you’re cold there’s a blanket on the backseat, I'll get it for you,“ he yelled from outside before coming getting inside the car, a blanket in his hand, “See how nice I am? So caring, not wanting you to freeze to death.”

You shook your head amused, „What a gentleman you are.”

The drive home was more peaceful, no discussions this time. You looked outside, seeing a big and bright star in the sky, pointing to it excited.

“I can’t get over how beautiful the starry night sky is here. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it,“ you mumbled, almost sounding dreamy, eyes glued to the sky. It wasn’t even completely dark outside yet, but the first stars were already sparkling brightly.

“Isn’t it the same in your hometown?” he asked a bit perplexed as he looked over to you, wondering how you could be so excited about some stupid stars.

“Not at all. The big city lights drown them. You can barely see some, and if you can, they are not as bright as here.”

“I suppose living here isn’t all bad.”, he shrugged after thinking about it for a few seconds, his glance wavering to the sky every few seconds.

You hummed in agreement, “Except for this terrible guy living next to me I quite enjoy my time here.”

He chuckled, enjoying the little game you two were playing, „Must be really hard to live right next to such an attractive young man. I bet you have a hard time.”

Laughing, you were impressed at his wittiness, “Don’t think too highly of yourself.”

Before you could let him answer your favorite song suddenly started playing in the radio, making you turn up the volume instantly, “You need to shut up now. This is my all-time favorite song.”

But of course, Taehyung didn't shut up. Much more like him, he did the opposite, trying to sing along as loud as he could just to ruin the song for you – and he had way too much fun doing it.

“I didn’t know you could sing,“ you said, giving him an approving look.

A smirk formed on his lips, “I'm a man full of surprises.”

The rest of the drive the two of you were singing along to the radio loudly, having genuine fun together for the first time since you arrived. It was nice to see him loosen up a bit, even though it was only a small step.

Driving up to the farm, you already saw Jimin sitting on the porch. He immediately stood up, walking over to the car, already apologizing without you really arriving yet, “I’m so so sorry mate. I completely forgot. I owe you a beer next time we go out.”

Taehyung chuckled as he turned the engine off, “Doesn’t seem like his date had a happy ending, considering he’s home already.”

“Good for me,“ you shrugged, “I’m way too tired to carry the whole couch inside anyway.”

You were the first to get out of the car, making Jimin narrow his eyebrows in confusion.

“What are you doing in Taehyung’s car?” he asked suspiciously.

“I’m doing your fucking job,“ you shot him a mean glance.

As you were walking towards your home you were stopped by Taehyung holding your arm, making you turn around.

“Thank you, I suppose,“ he said, pressing his lips together, obviously feeling awkward, “Just trying to be nice.”

You gave him a genuine smile, “No problem. Sleep well.”

“You too, (y/n).”

Waking up you were almost shocked to see the weather. Yesterday the sun was still shining while today it was pouring like you never saw before. The sky was dark and grey and your whole farm seemed quite sad, making you wish you could just stay in bed all day, just being lazy, reading, eating and maybe fantasizing about a certain someone.

Checking your phone you saw a text from Jimin: it’s going to storm today, you have to make sure all the animals are in the barn and safe, please. i’m getting food for tonight. see you later, favorite cousin.

You immediately threw on a thick cardigan and brushed your teeth, hurrying to get things done before the weather got even worse. Looking in the mirror you scoffed for a second at your sad reflection – your hair was in a very messy bun and your under-eye circles were almost black. But there was no time to pity yourself right now, you could do that after work.

After you fed and, of course, petted the chickens and made sure that all the windows were closed tightly you ran over to the barn where the cows and goats were in. Your clothes were completely drenched even though the way between the barns was very short, the heavy rain was so strong that there was no way you could’ve stayed dry.

Entering the barn your eyebrows narrowed as you saw that the light was on and the food for the cows was already laid out.

“Uncle Minwoo?” you screamed loudly, the rain was so loud that otherwise, no one would hear you.

“Oh thank god, there you are,“ the owner of the voice was coming out of the little shed you kept your tools in, throwing one of the milking machines over to you. You barely had time to catch it because Taehyung was throwing it without caring if you’d catch it or not.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him skeptically as you sat down to the cow next to the one he was currently milking.

He glanced at you with an annoyed expression on his face - but only until he saw how wet you were from the rain. Right then, he bursted out into laughter, “Why are you not wearing a raincoat for fucks sake?” he asked you, enjoying the sight in front of him a little too much.

“I don’t even own one,“ you admitted a bit hesitant while shrugging, knowing he’d make even more fun of you.

And of course, he did.

“How can you not own a raincoat? Seriously, (y/n), you’re something else. Who on earth doesn’t own a raincoat?” he shook his head in disbelief, still laughing.

You simply pressed your lips together, coming back to your actual question, “But why are you here? Certainly not because you wanted to help me.”

“Hey, maybe I’m not as bad as you think and just wanted to be friendly for once?” he said, acting offended, “Since you’re always complaining.”

“Yeah, I doubt that,“ you answered.

Suddenly you heard a loud thunder outside, making you jump - you usually were not afraid of thunder but the sudden loud noise startled you for a second. What really scared you though was the reaction of two of your cows, immediately after they heard the thunder they let out the deepest and loudest sounds you’ve ever heard of them. They sounded terrified.

Taehyung immediately jumped up from his stool and walked over to Bertha, the small brown cow, petting her face.

“Shhhh, it's okay,“ he tried calming her down before looking over to you, “I’m always here when it storms. Bertha and Marnie are deadly afraid of the thunder, so I accompany them. It calms them down.”

For a second you thought he was fooling you but before you could say something another loud thunder was heard followed by loud sounds of the cows once again. God, you weren't sure if you ever could get used to the sounds they made.

“Wait,“ you interrupted confused as you saw Taehyung pet Bertha once again, giving her a small kiss on the side of her face, “You’re serious?”

He looked at you with a grin, “Of course I am. Go, pet Marnie a bit. She loves getting pets right under his chin, she’s such a lovely cow.”

You did as he said but not really trusting him yet.

“I didn’t know he had feelings, Marnie, did you?” you asked the cow sarcastically.

Taehyung chuckled, shaking his head, “I only have feelings Marnie and Bertha.”

Bertha was walking away from him to the hay he just put down for them to lie down for a bit, something you barely ever saw them doing,

“When I first looked into Bertha’s big brown eyes I fell in love,” he stated lovingly, petting some of the other cows while Bertha was still lying down, „Her eyes are just too pure.“

“That’s adorable,” you had to admit, “Didn’t expect that from you.”

“Are you aware that just because I’m telling you you’re stupid because you don’t own a raincoat or work on a farm with a goddamn Gucci shirt doesn't mean I'm an asshole? That’s my way of helping,” he said confidently, “You just seem to not know exactly what to do, so I’m trying to help.”

„You're still being mean while doing it,“ you insisted, not giving in.

“Whatever,“ he walked over to Bertha, who was resting on the ground, lying down next to her, “Just go inside and relax, I’ll take care of the cows.”

“No way,“ you sat down next to him, “I’ll not leave you alone with my cows. I don’t trust you.”

Of course, that was only an excuse to spend some time with the pretty boy from next door but he didn't need to know – his ego was big enough already. Both of you were now starting to relax slowly, leaning against Bertha, petting her every now and then.

“So, farmer girl, how do you like it here?” he asked you after a few seconds of silence, seeming to be actually interested in you for once.

“It’s nice,“ you shrugged as he was peaking over at you, “I like the fact that I finally am allowed to go into the pub the most.”

“I remember when we first were allowed to go in, it was like Harry Potter seeing Hogwarts for the first time,“ he remembered laughing, “and now we’re the ones that get drunk in there while the younger kids are jealous they can’t.”

“Some things never change, right?“ your eyes darted to Taehyung, who had his eyes closed and seemed to be truly relaxed in your presence for the first time since you arrived. He was using his arm as a pillow, a smile on his lips - for once a genuine smile, not the usual teasing one he gave you. The rain was pouring so hard onto the roof of the barn it sounded like applause. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, exhaling a breathy scoff through your nose, not believing that he actually had a soft side.

“What's so funny?“ he asked curiously, still with closed eyes.

“I just love the sound of heavy rain,”  you lied, also getting into a comfortable position and closing your eyes.

Your neighbour let out a hum, agreeing with you before yawning, “Me too. It’s cozy.”

Your eyelids started to feel heavy, you didn’t have much sleep last night and your body was shivering a bit because of your wet clothes. Taehyung was snoring lightly beside you within a few minutes and before you knew it you were asleep too. You wouldn’t have expected the barn to be such a comfortable place to sleep in.

The sound of someone calling your name, you couldn't quite identify who it belonged to yet, woke you up. As you were slowly starting to realize where you were, you were just as perplexed as Taehyung, who was still beside you, seeming to just have woken up too, according to his dreamy gaze.

“Did we fall asleep?” he asked you, yawning and stretching his arms from his body.

As you looked up, Jimin was standing in front of both of you, confusion was written all over his face, “What the hell are you two doing in here? How do I keep finding you two together?”

Taehyung shrugged, sitting up as you were doing the same, “What does it look like? We obviously fell asleep.”

“Okay but why were you here together in the first place?” he asked, a smirk on his lips, “Did you make out in front of the cows? They are too young to be exposed to such wild and unholy behavior.”

Chuckling at his remark, you rubbed your eyes a bit, “Don't be noisy, please. I’m having a headache.”

“You two are just too cute,“ he teased a bit before telling you the reason he was looking for you in the first place, “Dinner’s ready. We’re having some meat with different salads and corn. Feel free to join us Tae, your mum and Olli are there too.”

“I don’t know,“ he replied, a little unsure, “I still wanted to meet up with Namjoon and Hoseok later.”

Jimin narrowed his eyebrows, “Why didn’t you ask me to join, you jerk?”

Taehyung laughed at Jimin, standing up, surprisingly offering you a hand to help you get up from the ground, “I’ll eat dinner with you and then you can come with me, alright?“ he proposed to Jimin.

Your cousin agreed happily and the three of you walked over to the big house Minwoo and Jimin lived in.

“Did you find her?” your uncle screamed from the kitchen as he heard the door open.

“Yes, I’m here,“ you shouted back as you took off your shoes.

Walking over to them, Mrs. Kim was surprised to see her son, “Oh, Tae. How lovely that you’re here,“ she smiled as cute as always, “Where have you been?”

Both, Taehyung and you felt a bit awkward telling them where exactly Jimin found them, not wanting anyone to get a wrong idea. But, of course, your annoying cousin was faster.

“They were sleeping in the barn together,“ he smirked as he told your family, enjoying every minute of it, “You two seem to get along better by now.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes, “We were literally just taking care of the cows.”

You nodded, “It’s not like we met to take a nap in the barn.”

Uncle Minwoo and Mrs. Kim both giggled a bit at the bickering between their families, “Stop teasing them. They are already flustered,“ she said lightheartedly.

Everyone sat down on the table as your uncle brought the food to the table. It smelled like you were sitting in a restaurant and you could feel your mouth watering as you saw the food.

“Thank you for letting us eat with you,“ Taehyung said in a polite manner.

“Oh, Tae!” Minwoo exclaimed joyfully, “You’re always welcome. We’re like family.”

He nodded thankful as all of you started eating. The food was truly delicious and the conversation was nice, all of you participating in it, talking about current events and life on the farm.

You weren't sure if it was because your families were there but Taehyung was unusually nice to you, not even nagging you once. He passed you the salt when you asked him to and he even asked you about your job back at home.

It was a nice evening and you cherished it, knowing that it probably was a once in a lifetime experience to have a normal, peaceful conversation with Taehyung in the same room as you.

About an hour later you started walking from the big house to the small hut and even if it only took a minute or two Taehyung walked right beside you, not leaving your side.

Maybe he truly wasn't as bad as you made him out to be – the two of you might have had some difficulties but thinking about it now he seemed to open up to you more and more. As both of you stood in front of your door, you fiddled with your hands, not knowing how to react to being all alone with him.

“Don’t let Jimin drink too much tonight. I need him to be fit tomorrow. It’s my day off,“ you joked.

“I promise to stop him if he drinks too much,“ he smiled brightly, the wrinkles around his eyes showing slightly, “I’ll see you around?”

A scoff escaped your lips before you could hold it back, “Considering the fact that you can look inside my living room from your window I think so yes.”

And with that, he started walking towards his house but even after he was gone you still couldn't stop smiling.

The few next weeks were pretty unspectacular, working on the farm was part of your everyday life by now and your work was a routine, knowing every small step of it.

But still, today you woke up with a smile plastered on your face – it’s not like anyone besides Jimin and Minwoo, maybe Yoongi, would know it’s your birthday today but you still loved your special day.

It didn't matter that no one would know, you were quite happy that to everyone else this day would be just another day. You, on the other hand, had tons of self-care plans for tonight.

The first thing you did that morning was checking your phone, happy to see that your friends from home – or more like what used to be home to you – thought of you and send you very nice birthday greetings full of love, telling you that they missed you. In no time you got up and dressed to go over to the main house.

“So, what do you want to do today?” Jimin asked you as you had breakfast with him and your uncle. Despite you telling them that they shouldn't worry about you, they still made you some scrambled eggs and cut a lot of the vegetables from the Kim’s farm, Jimin even managed to go to the heart of the city to buy some buns for all of you.

Stretching yourself, tiredness still washing over you, you thought about his question. “I actually don’t know, I thought I'd just do some sheet masks later and watch Netflix,” you said shrugging before eating a piece of cucumber, “Why? Any ideas?”

“Why don’t you invite your friends over, (y/n)?” your uncle suggested but you’d rather not. The problem with inviting people over is you can’t leave early since they are literally at your own place and you'd never kick them out, not wanting to be unfriendly.

“No way, I don’t even think most people know about my birthday. I’ll stay lowkey about it,“  you denied your uncle's request, just wanting to have a nice night on the couch after you took a long bath – an ideal night for you.

“Why don't we have a movie night?” you suggested to your two family members but they didn’t seem to show much support to your idea.

Uncle Minwoo immediately stopped you, “I’m not letting you stay at home with your old uncle and cousin on your birthday.”

“I’d love that though. We hadn’t had a movie night in a long time,“ you pouted, hoping to convince your uncle despite knowing you had no chance against him.

“Jimin, take her to the pub, alright?” he instructed his son who was currently not listening to the conversation and instead was texting someone.

“Sure,“ he agreed with his father before looking up from his phone, “I’ll take you to the pub later, (y/n). No discussion.”

So a few hours later you found yourself in your small bathroom, putting on a real full face make-up for the first time ever since you moved here, you almost forgot how pretty you could be.

Jimin said to make sure that you looked your best since a lot of other people would be there, including the girl he ‘sometimes takes out’, as he liked to call it.

Even though you were still not fully in the mood, you started to warm up to the idea of going out as you got ready. In the end, you knew it wouldn't hurt to doll yourself up and go out every now and then – and maybe, just maybe, Taehyung would be there too.

Jimin picked you up from your place at around eight in the evening, the sky already pitch-black.

“Hey birthday kid,“ he said lovingly, “I didn't know you could look this lovely. Trying to impress a certain boy?”

Throwing him a glare that was about to end his life you were ready to hit your cousin if he wouldn’t stop mentioning your attraction towards your neighbor. You prayed he didn’t tell Tae about it, his ego was big enough and you didn’t know if you could survive if he’d become even cockier. Taehyung knew how handsome he was and that he could probably get just any girl if he wanted already so you didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

“I’ll kill you if you don’t shut your mouth,“ you threatened him even though you knew that nothing could stop Jimin's teasing ever.

Arriving at the Pub, you couldn’t help but grin like an idiot – all of your friends were waiting inside, a whole booth decorated just for you. Yoongi was the first to welcome you, hugging you tightly. “Happy Birthday, princess,“ he almost whispered into your ear before the other people were waiting for their turn to congratulate you.

Hoseok and Namjoon were there, including Namjoon’s girlfriend, that you hadn’t met before. Jungkook, of course, was there too and even gifted you some sunflower. “Those are my favorite!” you told him excited, to which he replied that he still remembered.

Jimin introduced you to his almost-girlfriend and she seemed to be a nice girl, a bit smaller than him, with cute glasses, short hair and a nose ring that she pulled off like no one else could.

And last but not least Kim Taehyung was standing in front of you, trying to look cold and unbothered like always, but his eyes were sparkling a bit, giving away that he wasn't as cool as he wanted to be.

“You’re here!” you gasped, genuinely excited to see him, “I feel honored.”

He shook his head joyful. “Don’t let it get to your head. Happy birthday, farmer girl,“ for the first time ever Taehyung hugged you, and you hated to admit that it felt quite comforting – the hug didn’t feel awkward or forced at all, he even had his hand on your head, right in your hair.

Yoongi and Jimin, who were standing behind Taehyung, were inspecting the hug you shared, drawing hearts with their fingers in the air for only you to see as you turned red.

“(Y/n), we got a present for you! Come on, sit down,” Hoseok happily singsang from the table and Taehyung let you go, way too early for your liking, but you weren’t complaining – you appreciated what you got this far.

As you sat down beside Yoongi, Taehyung sat right next to you, pretty close since you were sitting on a small bank with five people.

The booth was decorated with a paper chain that spelled “Happy Birthday”, a few presents were waiting for you on the table, right next to many glasses and several bottles of alcohol.

“This one is from me, Hoseok and Seokjin,“ Namjoon said excited, handing you a present.

Opening it you couldn’t help but pout at their heartwarming idea: They gifted you a framed picture the four of you when you were little, you were maybe around three to four years old.

„God, we were so small,“ you chuckled, studying the picture.

Hoseok smiled wholeheartedly, “There’s a little wheel on the side that you have to move,“ he explained and so you did – as you turned the little wheel more pictures of your friends and you appeared, all of them from different years.

“I love it,“ you smiled at them, “I'll find a special place to display it, I promise.”

“Open our’s next,“ Yoongi said, an untrustworthy smirk on his face. “It’s from me and Jimin.”

Just because you knew the two of you too well, you didn’t trust them at all.

“I bet it’ll get also a very, very special place at your home,“ Jimin assured you and you just knew at that point they probably got you something very stupid.

And they did – you let out a deep breath, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Thanks, I really needed that,“ you said sarcastically as you hold the box of the vibrator they gifted you in your hand.

Both of the boys bursted out into laughter, making you sigh.

„You think you're so funny, don't you? How old are you? Fourteen?“ you snipped both of their foreheads but still, a chuckle managed to slip out. Not really because you thought the present was funny but more because the boys were so amused by their own idea.

“We know the nights get lonely here,“ Jimin said, still laughing like a teenager, “Much fun with it. Just call Taehyung if you need any help with it.”

“Yeah, no, thanks, I think I can handle that on my own,“ you quickly responded before anyone else could join their nagging, “I really need a shot now. Otherwise, I won't be able to deal with you.”

Yoongi immediately poured a round of shots for everyone, “To our little (y/n).”

All of your friends clinked glasses and downed the shot. Within a few hours, one shot became quite a few, too many to count them. Jimin and his girl were making out heavily in the corner of the pub – much to your disgust. While you were happy for your cousin you still could imagine better things than seeing your family member's tongue in someone's mouth.

Yoongi, you, Seokjin, Namjoon and Taehyung were currently playing a card drinking game that you not only never heard of before but was also killing you at a fast pace.

“(Y/n), your turn,“ Taehyung glanced at you, raising his eyebrow – his cheeks were red and the sloppy smile on his face gave away that he also was at least a bit intoxicated by now, “Red or black?”

That was the whole point of the game, basically the only rule. You had to say a color and if the card didn’t have the color you had to take a shot. Seokjin said it was the best game to get really drunk really fast, and boy, he was right.

“Red”, you answered or to be exact, mumbled since you had a hard time pronouncing your words clearly by now.

And, of course, luck wasn’t on your side - as Taehyung turned around the card it showed black. “Tae~“ you let out a whine as he laughed, “I literally cannot drink this shot or else I’ll throw up.”

Your head was turning and your stomach felt warm and tingly, a part of you suddenly felt playful and giggly, which was pretty unusual for you. Looking at Taehyung you felt something deep down in your stomach – the way his rather long and curly hair fell into his face and his tanned skin was glowing was a beautiful sight. God, you really wanted to blame it on the booze but deep down you were aware that you were just fooling yourself.

“You’re no fun,“ he almost whined before taking the shot, “I’ll take it for you since it’s your birthday.”

“Oh, what a gentleman you are,“ you nudged him.

“Just trying to get drunk,“ he shrugged laughing before downing the shot as if it was nothing.

Your glance waved over to Jungkook, who was e the drunkest, his eyes slowly closing. ��Jungkook!” you poked his upper arm, not sure if you should laugh or be concerned, “Are you passing out?”

“Hmm?” he responded, trying to open his eyes but failing, “Oh no. I’m just taking a nap.”

You peeked to Taehyung beside you, questioning him what to do, “Are you going to babysit him?”

He scoffed, “That isn’t my problem to deal with.”

About two hours later you decided that it was time to go home, having to admit that you did have fun despite wanting to stay home at first. You thanked everyone and grabbed your bag.

“What about you?” you asked Taehyung who was sitting on his phone, texting someone with his eyebrows furrowed, “You’re staying?”

His eyes met yours as he looked up from his phone, “No, I’m walking you home. Give me a second.”

You decided to wait outside, in need of some fresh air to sober you up.

Slowly, you started to walk towards your home, knowing Taehyung would be able to catch up in no time. And he did, of course.

“Oh!” he looked at you with wide eyes as he arrived by your side, before opening his bag, looking for something, “It’s your birthday!”

“No shit, Sherlock,“ you responded unimpressed at his sudden realization, walking through the little city at night, still not used to how beautiful the stars were here, „You just got that now?“

“No, wait. I actually got you something,“ the boy mumbled and you thought you heard wrong for a second. At least until Taehyung handed you a box, a rather big one.

“Are you serious?” you asked surprised, suddenly feeling shy. This morning you were convinced he didn’t even know it was your birthday but now he was standing in front of you, with a present that was neatly wrapped in yellow wrapping paper.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it, please,“ he chuckled as you two walked through the dark night, only a few lanterns on your way home, “Just open it. It felt wrong not to get you anything. I mean, we’re neighbors now, and also co-workers.”

Your arm nudged him, playfully asking, “Maybe even friends?”

His laugh seemed to be even louder and happier when he’s drunk, “Says who? You wish!” before immediately adding, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Maybe even that. Now open it. Let’s sit down.“

Your neighbor gestured at the bank on the side of the way, a few steps away.

He took out his phone to turn on the flashlight so you could see, sitting dangerously close to you. “Why didn’t you give it to me earlier?” you asked him curiously.

“You know, I gotta keep my cool reputation in front of them,“ he joked.

“Ah, can’t let them know that you have a crush on me?” you blurted out, trying to flirt, knowing you would never say those things if it wasn’t for all the shots you drank earlier.

“You’re a pain in the ass,“ he mocked you a bit, “Will you please just open it now? There are a few smaller things.”

As you ripped open the wrapping paper you let out a laugh, impressed by his first present, “A raincoat? I could’ve seen that one coming.”

“I still can’t believe you don’t own one. Look underneath, there’s also a shirt you can use for work so you won’t ruin your good clothes,“ he said, almost proud of his idea and it was adorable.

The shirt was grey and oversized - and also, there was a picture printed onto it. Taehyung let out another laugh, covering his mouth with his hand to stop him from laughing harder, before you could see what was on it.

As he shined his flashlight on the picture you were not only extremely amused but also very amazed that he did that for you, even though he obviously was trying to be funny, you genuinely liked it – the picture was a selfie of Taehyung, giving a thumbs up, right next to his favorite being on this earth, Bertha. Underneath the picture the sentence ‘(Y/n), you can do it. I hope.’ was written in big letters.

“You’re seriously the worst,“ you joined his laughter, wondering how in the hell he got this idea. The atmosphere was almost friendly – a new step for the two of you. Not that you didn’t like him before, you just thought that he didn’t like you back.

“I think you’ll look quite good in it, (y/n),“ he smiled proudly, definitely satisfied with himself.

“You’re such a flirt,“ you said sarcastically.

The last gift in the box really got to you though - it immediately brought back a lot of memories, cherished ones, of your childhood. An overwhelming rush of sentiment came over you as you couldn't believe your eyes.

“Tae, I–” you were looking for the right words to say but none came to your head, “Is it what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s your old music box that played Somewhere Over The Rainbow over and over again, then it is, yes,“ he replied, playing it cool as if it wasn't a big thing.

You totally forgot about it until now, back in the day you always used to play it before going to bed, falling asleep immediately to the soothing sound of it – back then it didn't matter where you were: you wouldn't fall asleep without the petite woodbox playing your favorite song.

“Where did you even get this?“ you asked him, gulping.

“Oh, Minwoo gave it to me to calm the cows on thunder days,“ he said amused.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,“ you chuckled, still inspecting the music box. It seemed to be even prettier than you remembered it.

“Do you like it?” he asked, turning towards you, “I know how obsessed you were with it as a child so I thought you’d like to have it back. The cows didn’t like it anyway.”

Your eyes met his, not knowing what to say. He was so cool about it when to you, this might be one of the most meaningful presents you've gotten in a long time. The fact that he even remembered how in love you were with this music box and how thoughtful of him it was to give it back to you. Slowly you put the box down, still feeling a bit overwhelmed. It was probably stupid, for him it was just a simple present and you were overreacting, right? But still, it was so much more than you would’ve expected. Especially from him

“I love it,“ you assured him, the wrinkles around his eyes deeper than you’ve ever seen them before. “Thank you so much.”

Before he could say something to ruin the moment you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face in his collar. It took him a few moments to realize what was happening, a hug was something he didn’t expect at all, but it did feel nice. His arms carefully found your waist and hugged you back.

You could see how red his cheeks were as your hug ended but for once you decided to not tease him, not wanting to ruin a genuinely nice moment. The two of you didn’t have those very often.

“Shall we go home?” Taehyung asked softly as he stood up, waiting for you to join him.

The two of you were walking for a while, way slower than usual. It might be the alcohol in your veins or simply the secret desire to spend some more time together, alone and outside of the farm.

“Be honest,“ you started carelessly, it almost sounded like you were singing it, “You do think I’m cute.”

Looking up to Taehyung you saw that he was smiling and didn’t seem to care about your teasing anymore.

“I do think you’re cute. That doesn’t make you less any annoying though,“ he replied, his tone almost playful. As you were walking your shoulders were lightly brushing every now and then, a rush of excitement going through your body every single time.

“Now you be honest. You were totally checking me out when you saw me on the day you moved here,“ he countered, the conversation light.

You let out a small scoff, “I maybe would have if I hadn’t been to busy trying to free myself from your grip since you thought I was stealing your chicken,“ you snapped at him and Taehyung let out a laugh at that memory. Even though it wasn’t long ago it felt like years, considering how much your relationship developed since then.

“Your turn. You would’ve gone home sooner but you were waiting to walk me home,“ the vibe Taehyung gave you told you it was okay to dig a bit deeper.

“Now you’re just being overconfident, (y/n),“ he laughed and you thought about how his laugh is so different than his mum’s. His mother's laugh was light and charming while his laugh was deep and full of joy, almost bold and loud.

“If you say I’m wrong you’re lying,“ you insisted while looking up to the beautiful night sky, not letting loose. Even though you were a bit cold you didn’t really care, you could walk and talk for a few more hours without complaining.

“I never said you’re wrong,“ he answered quietly, now more soft and serious, “But don’t let it get to your head, I know my mum would kill me if she heard that you had to walk home alone.”

“You’re so in love with me dude, how gross,“ you joked, not able to stop your usual nagging.

By now it seemed like that was Taehyung’s and your’s thing somehow. It was an open secret that there was something between the two of you, whatever that was. Maybe, you and Taehyung were still denying it but your friends weren't completely wrong when they talked about your relationship to each other.

“I really don’t know if I wanna shove you off this bridge or kiss your annoying ass,“ he stated shamelessly, trying to sound annoyed but his mood was just as good as yours and the cheeky flirting was something he missed over the last years.

It’s been too long since he met someone he liked so much that he didn’t have to care about what he said. Spending time with you made him feel careless. The night air and the sky that was full of stars just loosened up the mood even more.

Even though your heart was beating faster at his comment you tried to remain cool – he said it so casually as if the topic of kissing you was something completely normal to him, making you realize that maybe Taehyungand you were indeed becoming something more than friends.

“Oh, can I pick?”, you grinned at him.

“No,“ he answered easily while pushing you towards the edge of the bridge you were currently walking on, making you gasp a bit, while trying to balance yourself so you wouldn’t fall over the low wooden railing.

What exactly was he doing? Just in the right moment, he held you, his arm around your waist, being a bit too close to you which was making your heart beat insanely fast. As you looked at him your eyes were opened wide, the shock written all over your face.

Taehyung still was holding you close, giving you the brightest smile ever, his expression full of joy, “Did you really think that I’d let you fall?”

“Yes!“ you almost shouted out of shock, a hundred percent sure that he’d actually do something like that, “If anyone in this town would then it would be you.”

He acted a bit offended, as he pulled your body a bit closer to his again, your intestines feeling all over the place. Half of your body was still bent over the bridge as Taehyungs hold was the only support that stopped you from falling right into the water. His face came near yours and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on yours.

“Well, if you think that lowly of me,“ he started, before pausing his sentence, you could swear that you could feel his breath tingling on your lips and see his eyes wandering down to look at your them – but before anything else could happen you started losing balance as Taehyung let go of your body, making you fall right into the lake behind you.

Of course, he’d do something like that. You should've guessed that.

As you came up again you were drenched. The water was at least still warm enough to not make you shiver while climbing up to the bridge again. Taehyung was laughing wholeheartedly, his one hand once again covering his mouth, while holding his other hand out for you so he could help you.

You immediately took his offer, taking a tight grip on his hand before getting your revenge – within seconds Taehyung forcefully joined you in the water, his eyes popping out when you completely caught him off guard.

“I should’ve seen that coming,“ he admitted, now also completely wet but still amused, “I deserved that.”

The two of you were chuckling, no one of you seemed to want to get out of the water for now.

“Remember the one time we were having a contest here about who can stay underwater the longest when we were children?” you asked him thinking back to older days, one of the few memories you had with him.

He nodded while walking towards you, leaning his back against the bridge. His body was close to yours, his face facing yours, “I remember you and Jimin being afraid because you thought I fainted because I let my body swim on the surface with my head under the water still.”

Hitting his chest, you squinted your eyes, “You were the worst, seriously! Why would you do this to me? I was so afraid.”

His arm found your hip, resting lazily on it - you wondered if he’d also do that if he was completely sober, “To make good memories.”

“Well, that’s also about our only memory because you always avoided me when we were younger,“ you stated, a bit salty.

His laughter sounded different this time, if you didn’t know better you’d almost say there was some kind of admiration in it. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,“ he apologized, putting his hands up in the air, still laughing before looking at you once again – it’s like you completely forgot about being in the water now in the middle of the night.

“Wanna know a secret?” he asked you, whispering as if you had to be careful to not get caught.

“Always,“ you answered eager as your eyes widened in excitement.

“I avoided you because I had the biggest crush on you and Yoongi always said girls suck and if anyone of us ever kissed a girl they’d be kicked out of the gang,“ he admitted, smiling back at the memory.

“Okay, but Yoongi was literally my first kiss,“ you confessed to him, “I think he knew exactly why he told you that.”

Now it was Taehyung who was in shock, not you. “You’re kidding me,“ he sounded offended, “I can’t believe he’d play me like this because of some chick.”

“Hello? I’m right here,“ you scoffed, shaking your head amused.

“Oh, I bet you’d rather be where Yoongi is, huh?” he stared you down for a second before breaking character and starting to laugh, “But seriously, he never even told me. He knew I’d fight him about it.”

“It must be hard to always be as dramatic as you are,“ you scoffed, as you got out of the water again, starting to shiver a bit, “Let’s go home, I’m cold.”

He got out of the water too and you tried hard not to stare at his chest that was completely showing through his white shirt.

“You should have put on a jacket,“ he shrugged, acting as if it's your fault that you were completely drenched and cold.

“You little shit,“ you countered as the two of you were walking towards your home, “I’m only cold because you pushed me into the lake.”

“I had fun tonight,“ you admitted to him as you were standing in front of your door once again, “You’re not awful.”

“Thank you?”, he laughed unsure before he continued, “You’re also not awful, (y/n).”

“I mean, you were not the nicest in the beginning, I thought you hated me. But now, I think you tolerate me,“ you said, a winning smile on your face.

“Believe it or not, I think you’re pretty cool,” he mirrored your smile, nodding.

“I’ll let my diary know about that,” you assured him.

He just stood there for a second, looking at you. Both of you didn’t want to part, enjoying time with each other but you didn’t want things to get awkward.

“I’m sorry I pushed you into the water,“ he mentioned, laughing while apologizing.

You rolled your eyes at his half-assed apology, “Yeah sure. You better make up for that.”

He nodded, “I will. I promise. Good night, (y/n).“

Suddenly you felt him hugging you, not expecting it once again. Three hugs in one day were something you didn’t expect at all when you woke up this morning.

“Sleep well,“ you told him as you closed the door behind you, removing your make up, changing into comfortable clothes and letting yourself fall into your bed, falling asleep with a smile on your lips. You were definitely making progress.

A few days after your birthday and the situation with Taehyung, it was about time to talk to someone about your confusing feelings. Yoongi was the first person that came to your mind, definitely not wanting to talk to Jimin about it.

As the two of you were sitting outside on your porch, drinking a beer and enjoying the sunset slowly going down, you decided to tell him about what happened after you and Taehyung left on your birthday.

“He gifted you your old music box?” he asked confused, almost shocked, “That’s so much better than the vibrator we gifted you, dammit.”

You let out a laugh, “Anything is better than that.”

“Well, apparently you won’t be needing it any time soon if you and Taehyung continue to fall in love at that pace,“ your best friend gave you a small wink.

“Yoongi,“ you let out a pout, “I really don’t know what I should do. He was about to kiss me by the lake but instead, he let me fall into the water.”

He was trying his hardest to contain his laughter as you told the story but he couldn’t help it, “You really think he’s the one you want? I bet not even Jungkook would behave that awkward.”

Chuckling, you shrugged, “I guess I just like a challenge.”

Yoongi nodded, “He definitely is one. Bare with him, it’s been some time. His last girlfriend and him broke up quite some time ago.”

When Yoongi mentioned the word gilfriend you felt curiosity awakening inside of you, “What was she like?”

Taking a sip of his beer, he glanced at you, a bit pitiful, “Are you sure you wanna do this to yourself?”

“I’m just curious,“ you assured him, „No hard feelings.“

Before Yoongi could start telling you about her you were disturbed by your cousin, who just finished his work, a beer in his hand as he sat down on the free chair on your table, „What are you talking about?”

“My hopeless crush,“ you said, laughing.

“What else,“ he shrugged, unimpressed, “You could still date Jungkook, you know.”

You shook your head before turning back to Yoongi, “So, tell me about her, I can’t imagine him with a girl at all.”

“Are we talking about Elly?” Jimin asked confused, trying to catch up with your conversation.

“Yes,” Yoongi said, trying to start once again before getting interrupted by Jimin, also once again.

“She wasn’t shit, (y/n). Don’t worry about her. I never liked her. They weren’t even really a couple.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “She wasn’t all bad, Jimin. She was actually quite nice at the beginning. She’s from the town next to ours, the granddaughter of the owner of the library – we were friends with her back then when she still visited every weekend. I guess she was into Tae from the first second and he was, well, frustrated. So they became friends with benefits. Nothing too serious at first.”

“(Y/n), I really don’t get why you’d wanna know. You’ll just hurt yourself,“ your cousin seemed to worry, clearly disagreeing with your curiosity.

“They broke up so I won’t be hurt, I just can’t imagine him in a relationship at all. I need some information for research,“ you argued.

“He was a good boyfriend, I guess,“ Jimin thought about it, taking a big gulp of his beer, “Like he visited her often and made sure to bring her to every event or birthday. But one of them would always start a fight and it got so annoying over time. Every time he brought her I was afraid to say anything to him because if I only said one wrong word she’d start to discuss with him.”

Yoongi now interrupted him, “Well, it wasn’t only her who started fights, to be fair. Taehyung often enough started one too, whenever he was in a bad mood he’d always find a reason to fight.”

A scoff came out of your mouth, “I already thought he’d be one to pick fights, to be honest.”

“Speaking of the devil,“ Yoongi nodded towards the house of the Kim’s and as you turned around you saw Taehyung jogging over to you. He seemed to be in a good mood, a smile on his lips, something rather unusual.

“Why are you having a nice evening and no one cared to call me?” he asked as he arrived in front of you, holding up a big plate with many different pieces of cakes on it, “I brought cake.”

Jimin immediately took the plate and set it down in front of him as Taehyung sat down on the free seat on the bench beside you.

“We were just talking shit about you,“ Jimin started, getting up to get some forks from inside.

“Why? What did I do?” he asked, already sounding offended, ready to defend himself without knowing what even seemed to be the problem.

“I just told them about how you let me fall into the lake,“ you huffed, salty, not letting it go easily.

“Why would you do that?” he asked in a whiny tone, “Aren’t they teasing us enough already?”

“I don’t care about that. I still can’t believe you’ve done that. I could’ve caught a cold.”

He now crossed his arms in front of his chest, “You didn’t though, right? I brought you cake as an apology, just to find you hanging out with our friends, without me?”

Yoongi let out a laugh at your constant bickering, “Young love must be so nice.”

“Be quiet,“ you gave him a warning glance before you turned back to the real enemy here, “You think cake can just fix the trust I lost in you?”

He let out a laugh, “You’re being overdramatic.”

Actually, you couldn’t care less that he let you fall into the lake. It was just fun to pick fights with him, “You’re being an asshole.”

He scoffed before continuing your discussion in a mocking voice, “Wanted me to kiss you so bad that you can’t get over the fact that I didn’t?”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting his comeback. Yoongi and Jimin were both trying no to laugh watching the two of you fight.

“If you think that, you’re truly delusional,“ you stated, even though everyone here knew he was right, “The only reason I didn’t kill you right then was because I was so relieved you didn’t kiss me.”

He snorted, not ready to give up yet, “Sure, just keep on telling it to yourself until you start to believe it.”

And this is how you spent the rest of the evening. Three of your closest friends, cake, one or two or maybe even more beers, a beautiful pink sunset and most important - in the place you loved to call your home.

“(Y/n), give me a hand, please,“ your neighbor screamed from the other side of the farm, struggling to put up the pavilion that was supposed to cover the tables from the weather.

It was a warm autumn day but you knew that it could basically start to pour any second. Quickly you jogged over to Taehyung, leaving Jimin alone with the other preparations for the big harvest festival that was held once a year on the farm. It was a tradition you used to love as a child and you were more than happy to participate again this year.

As you walked over you couldn’t help but notice how mesmerizing he looked once again. There was sweat dripping down his face while he gave you a light and exhausted chuckle, holding up one side of the pavilion with his rather strong arms. The white shirt and grey sweatpants he was wearing might as well be the death of you. Oh god, you definitely hated being attracted to him.

“What’s up, Kim?” you asked, desperately trying to sound as unbothered as possible.

He, on the other hand, continued to smile, shaking his head, “Can you please hold up the other side over there?” he asked, pointing to it, “I’ll do the rest.”

You went over and held up the other side, having to stand on your tiptoes. “Are you excited for tonight?” you asked him, desperate to make conversation with him. Even though by now Taehyung was being very nice to you, you were still always trying to make him like you. Even though Jimin and Yoongi assured you he likes you quite a lot by now you still wanted him to admit to it. His attention was your favorite thing at the moment, you couldn’t get enough of it.

He shrugged while concentrating on a screw he was currently trying to get in, “Not really. It’s not gonna be different than any other year.”

“I’m here now so it is gonna be different than before,” you said, making him look up from his work for a second, his eyes finding yours.

“So, you’re going to make the harvest festival interesting again?” you saw the smirk on his face before continuing, “Don’t get up my hopes.”

“Share a bottle of liquor with me and I bet we’ll have a lot of fun,” you stated boldly, immediately embarrassed at your way too obvious flirting. At this point, you were sure that he was very aware of your obvious crush on him. He was many things. Rude, annoying, sometimes even a bit mean but delusional wasn’t one of them.

“Are you flirting with me, (y/n)?” he asked almost a bit teasingly.

“I am,” you said, trying to sound confident but you were pretty sure your now deep red cheeks were giving you away.

He seemed to be amused and he shook his head in what seemed to be joy.

“Not bad,” was all he said, shrugging before his full attention was back on building the pavilion.

You looked around the big farm as Taehyung was working. It looked beautiful, there were a lot of tables with benches, all of them had some flowers and candles on top of them, you could only imagine how cute it would look as soon as the sky was dark and all the candles were lit.

Jimin was currently preparing some baskets filled with eggs, milk, some wool, all different kinds of fruits and vegetables and even some feathers you picked up from the pond where the ducks stayed as a lucky charm – your uncle and Taehyung’s mother would sell them later on, the people always loved those little baskets.

Taehyung’s mother was inside, preparing food for the night. She was overdoing herself, cooking four different kinds of soups, baking too many loaves of bread for the visitors to eat, she even has been baking all kind of cakes since yesterday night.

“Your mum is an angel,” you mumbled more to yourself than to him but Taehyung still heard you, laughing a bit.

“She just really loves the harvest festival. But yes, I agree, she really is,” he answered without looking at you, “There’s gonna be plenty of leftovers tomorrow, I’ll bring you some if you want.”

You nodded even though he didn’t see, “I’d love that.”

“Hey, (y/n)!” Gus, the owner of the restaurant, came up to you. He drove up here in his truck, the whole back of it filled with different meals that he contributed for tonight, “Where should I put the fish and meat?”

Taehyung told you that you could leave and help Gus for now so you showed him where the food was being served. There was a long in the middle of the farm, where Gus’ and Mrs. Kim’s food was going to be sold later on. It was opposite to the little dancefloor your uncle built earlier, he even got a pretty good sound system for the night. You already anticipated seeing all of the older people dance later, it was always very cute to see them be happy. All the tables to sit on were placed in between the dancefloor and the food.

As you were helping Gus’ to carry the food you saw Yoongi and his parents coming up to you.

“Hey cutie,” your best friend greeted you as he put down the three beer crates he was casually caring like they didn’t weigh anything, “How are things going?”

“I’m really excited for tonight,” you cheered with a wide smile on your lips, “My last harvest festival was years ago, I still had to go to bed at eight o’clock at that time.”

He let out a laugh, “Oh, that’s when the fun is just starting.”

You only managed to finish all the work an hour before the first people came to the festival. Within no time the whole farm was filled with people as the sun was slowly going down.

You didn’t expect so many people to actually show up. Not only the whole village was attending tonight’s fest but a lot of them also brought their family from out of town, a lot of faces you’ve never seen before.

It luckily didn’t rain yet and you were hoping it would stay that way for the rest of the night. The sky was dark now and all the candles were lit, making the atmosphere cozy. People were eating, drinking and enjoying themselves, some even danced to the 80′s music that was playing already.

You were sitting on the side of a table, just looking around and appreciating everything as a few of your friends came up to you.

“Don’t you wanna eat something?” Jungkook asked you, nodding towards the table with the food, “We were just about to grab something, join us.”

“Let’s also grab a drink or two,” your cousin, who clearly already had more than just a drink or two, his bright pink cheeks exposing him, shouted as he came up behind Jungkook, Yoongi and Yoongi’s girlfriend.

Your mouth watered as you saw, and especially smelled, the food that was offered. Now you were very thankful that you didn’t have the time to eat all day. All the food looked amazing and you didn’t even know where to start. Hoseok and Namjoon both went for the meat but you wanted to start with something more light for now, looking at all the soups Mrs. Kim made.

“Try mum’s Italian wedding soup, it’s the best,” you flinched lightly as Taehyung came up behind you out of nowhere, his arm casually resting on your shoulder.

You tried to play it cool in front of your friends but inside you were all tense, just because of Tae being so close to you.

“I’ll have that then,” you agreed, telling his mother who was handing out food tonight. Both you and Taehyung offered her to help out earlier but she insisted that you should just enjoy the evening.

“Of course, my darling,” she poured some of the soup into a big cup, giving you and her son a wide smile, “You two look just adorable together.”

You felt yourself blushing but you were pretty sure that no one would notice in the dark.

“Right? We’ve been telling them the whole time,” Hoseok joined, excitement in his eyes, agreeing with his friends’ mother. You heard a deep, frustrated groan from Taehyung.

“Guys,” he squinted his eyes at both of them with a warning glance but he still was resting his arm on you, not even thinking about removing it, “Can you mind your own business? Just for once?”

Yoongi chuckled at the two of you, knowing exactly that you were trying your hardest to keep your cool, “You know they won’t leave you alone until something happens.”

He was right. But you weren’t sure if and when things would happen. And what those things even would be. When it came to Taehyung you felt more clueless than ever before. Not even your math class in senior year seemed that confusing.

“Yeah, because no one in this town knows how to respect the boundaries of other people,” Taehyung bitterly said through gritted teeth, slightly annoyed but everyone just let out a laugh, not taking him seriously, thinking it’s funny that he gets so worked up over some simple teasing.

“I’m sorry (y/n),” Mrs. Kim turned towards you, apologizing, but you could still see a little amused smile on her lips, “I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t mind at all,” you assured her, “Don’t apologize.”

“I’ll go and get us something to drink,” Yoongi offered after he got some food, his lips already pressed against his girlfriend’s neck again before turning to you, “Save us a seat.”

You waited for the rest to get something to eat and wondered what was suddenly going on with Taehyung, he wasn’t leaving your side at all which was pretty unusual for him. Last week he was still too afraid to give you a birthday present in front of the boys and now he was suddenly even touching you in front of everyone?

“I’m sorry,” he whispered for only you to hear as all of you were looking for a table to sit on. On the way, he let go of you but still was walking right next to you. Not that you minded, you enjoyed the sudden attention he was giving you, you just had to get used to it.

“What for?” you asked him, shrugging lightly, “I don’t care if the guys tease us. They think we’re into each other, they won’t stop anyway.”

“Well, they aren’t so dumb after all, huh?” he still whispered to you, chuckling a bit as he turned around to the others, pointing to a free table, “Let’s sit down over there.”

This little shit was flirting with you.

The soup was amazing. The alcohol was pouring. The atmosphere was loud and filled with banter and laughter. Yoongi and his girl were making out in front of everyone in no time, literally being all over each other. Hoseok, Jungkook and Jimin were screaming along to ‘Come on Eileen’ playing in the background, doing those stupid fortnite dances to the old music, constantly motivating each other to do stupid moves and having the time of their lives. Namjoon was talking to his girlfriend, the majority of your friends still had no idea that they were actually dating and you wondered how they managed to keep it a secret in such a small town like this.

You were just laughing every now and then, enjoying everyone’s presence - an evening like this was exactly what you needed, full of friends and possibilities to make amazing memories.

Looking back at the fact that in the beginning, you were so afraid to start a new life here was ridiculous by now – this was your home, you were doing the thing you love with people you wouldn’t trade for anything. Not in a hundred years would you have thought that you’d find your happiness in this small town.

You carefully dared to look over to Taehyung, hoping he wouldn’t catch you staring – you felt tingly, it might be the wine or the butterflies in your stomach but you felt so much comfort and happiness that you wanted to explode.

The way he was laughing was making you go insane – you got lost in the wrinkles around his eyes and his side profile that seemed to be the most perfect thing you’ve ever seen. It was so nice and rare to see him letting go, being completely relaxed and warm. The longer you looked at him the more you craved something deep down in your stomach.

It felt like you were in a movie, the world around you blurred and slowing down while all you could concentrate on was the guy next to you: The guy, that used to be so cold to you and opened up step by step, going from thinking you were stealing chickens to flirting with you in front of everyone.

You secretly hoped that the two of you were figuring out the future of your relationship rather sooner than later, slowly growing impatient. It was obvious to anyone who’d spent only five minutes around you: There was an undeniable tension, a chemistry that both of you felt.

Still staring at him while everyone was laughing and talking he stole a glance from you, seeing that your attention was already completely on him. His features softened as soon as his eyes met yours and the big laughter on his face turned into a small but impactful smile - immediately you felt a rush of confidence running through your veins, your heart beating faster. You hated how you were literally melting for him but you knew exactly that you couldn’t fight it so you might as well let him in.

His eyes were still locked with yours, no one daring to break eye contact. You wondered how this moment could feel so intimate when there were literally 200 people gathered around you – it felt like you were all alone, everyone else was busy cracking jokes while the two of you were busy falling in love. Or at least that was what it felt like.

He gave you a small nod before sitting a bit closer to you, your thighs now touching. “Stop flirting with me. I might just break my cool character and blush,” he joked, making you chuckle before the two of you brought your attention back to your friends who were currently cheering for Jungkook and Jimin, both trying to down their beer faster than the other one.

You shook your head, letting out a laugh at them being messy. Taehyung’s hand sneakily rested on your lower back and you hoped it would stay there for a while.

Jimin finished first and laughed at Jungkook, who was still drinking, “Oh, I can’t believe you thought you could win against me. I’m the king when it comes to drinking,” he bragged.

Yoongi, who was for once breaking free from his girlfriend, shook his head at Jimin, “You’re overconfident. Taehyung, finish him.”

Taehyung let out a groan, “Don’t make me do this.”

“Let’s go Taehyungie, I bet I can beat you easily,” Jimin challenged him, knowing exactly how to provoke his friend.

“Dude, don’t do this to yourself, you’ll lose,” Hoseok yelled, “No one can beat Taehyung, you should know better than that.”

“I trained. And Taehyung didn’t show off his skills in a long time, I think you’re underestimating me,” he insisted, opening another bottle of beer and putting it down in front of Tae.

“Jimin, take it easy. It’s your fourth beer in what? Twenty minutes?” you interrupted, “I don’t wanna clean up all alone tomorrow because you are dying.”

“It’s harvest festival (y/n),” he whined while opening another bottle of wine for you, pouring something into your glass, “You gotta start learning how we do it here.”

Taehyung shook his head, letting out another deep sigh, “You have no chance against me,” he held up his beer and waited for Jimin to do the same.

Jimin had a satisfied smile on his lips, ready to give it his all, “I’m going to fight for your title.”

Taehyung let out a laugh, “That’s cute. Much luck trying.”

All of you were counting down from three and the guys started chugging down the beer like it was a life or death situation. It was stupid and childish but all of you were enjoying it, rooting for Tehyung. If all of your friends could agree on one thing then it would be that Jimin needs to be taken down back to earth every now and then.

You looked at him, your mouth slightly open. One thing you definitely didn’t know about Taehyung was how fast he could drink. He always seemed like the most reasonable and mature guy so you were kind of taken by surprise to see how he downed the bottle in the matter of a few seconds.

“Ha!” he let out, laughing as he put his bottle down, “You’re a fool, dude.”

Jimin let out a laugh, shrugging, “Never thought I had a chance, just wanted you to drink a bit. Who’s the fool now?”

“I didn’t know you could drink like that,” you turned to Taehyung.

“This guy used to get so wasted every weekend, he just acts all pure in front of you,” Namjoon exposed his friend, laughing.

You raised your eyebrow at Taehyung, “Oh, let’s see who can handle more then, shall we?”

Taehyung’s eyes widened surprised, not expecting you to challenge him when it comes to drinking, “You might regret that.”

“I don’t mind regretting a thing or two,” you poured the two of you some shots.

“That’s the spirit,” Jimin cheered, opening another bottle of beer.

Taehyung and you were clinking glasses, “To Bertha!” he mentioned his favorite before both of you downed the shots, making a grimace as the bitter liquor went down your throat.

“That shit tastes horrible,” you stated, making him laugh.

“No one said getting drunk is easy,” he countered before immediately pouring you another shot, “But you wanted this. We can stop if you can’t take it, you know.”

“Definitely not,” you scoffed raising your eyebrow at him and holding up the shot glass, “It’s going to be a long, long night.”

“Oh, don’t promise what you can’t keep,” he flirted amused, laughing at you before getting ready to down the next shot, “To you and me.”

Nodding, you gave him a smile, “Whatever that might mean.”

You didn’t know what was faster: The time flying by or your alcohol level rising. It was around midnight now and the night just started. All of you were still drinking eagerly, sharing stupid stories and daring each other to do even more stupid things. The music was loud and the older people were dancing like there’s no tomorrow while you were still sitting at the table, playing cards and taking videos and photos of each other.

Some other girls around your age joined your group, you didn’t know them but the rest did. It was a nice group of people overall.

You still were watching the elders dance, smiling to yourself as your uncle and Taehyung’s mum were dancing with each other, seemingly having the best time.

“Aren’t they cute?” Tae turned to you with a grin, his hand resting right above your knee, slightly squeezing it. You could tell the alcohol had its impact on him because he was getting more touchy by minute, his eyes sparkling.

You nodded, feeling a bit nostalgic seeing them together. They always have been close, both of them lost their significant others early and were left with their children and a whole farm to manage. “It’s nice that they’re having fun. I wish they’d take a break more often.”

Taehyung hummed in agreement, his thumb caressing your leg, “I’m happy Mum has Minwoo. They are always there for each other and talk shit about me and Jimin,” he joked, his eyes still glued to his mother.

He was clearly adoring their little dance while you were adoring him.

“He’s really grateful you’re here.”, you didn’t expect Taehyung to be so serious, a new side of him showing.

“I like being here. Wouldn’t go back,” you told him as you put your hand on top of his, appreciating the moment.

His eyes met yours, not thinking you’d hold his hand in front of everyone, even though no one could see, “You do? I didn’t think you’d fit in or like it here at first if I am honest.”

You let out a laugh, “Yeah, I know. You were very vocal about that if you don’t remember our first encounter as I came back.”

He joined your laughter, giving you an apologetic pout, “I’m sorry. I was being a bit rough, wasn’t I?”

You nodded, “Didn’t expect anything else though. You never opened up towards me when we were younger,” you explained to him in a soft voice, you didn’t want to hurt him with your words.

“I just wondered why you’d move here. I thought it was stupid. What does this little town offer you?” he asked curiously, his eyes glued back to your family.

“This, for example,” you gestured to them, “It’s very heartwarming here. You might not realize because you’ve always been here but this town is full of love.”

Taehyung narrowed his eyebrows a bit, “I bet the actual reason you like it so much here is this cute neighbor of yours.”

You scoffed at his confidence, “Oh, you mean that Taehyung guy? No, he’s just too busy loving himself, I doubt he could ever make time to let someone else in.”

He opened his mouth a bit, acting shocked, “Didn’t you hear?”, he asked you, turning his body to you now to completely face you, “Everyone says he’s a total sucker for you.”

Playing along, you slightly brushed your knees against his, “I don’t think so,” you let out a sigh, “Last week he had the perfect chance to kiss me but instead he threw me into the lake.”

He grinned, not expecting you being so witty. “I’m sure he was just nervous and regrets it very much.”

“I wonder what your sources are. They don’t seem very trustworthy. You know that guy, he has a heart made of stone.”

“Don’t let him fool you,” he came closer to whisper in your ear, “He’s actually a soft man inside.”

“(Y/n)!” your cousin screamed over to you, clearly drunk, ruining your little moment with Taehyung, “Let's go, dance with your favorite cousin.”

You sighed heavily, knowing that refusing won’t work even though you didn’t want the playful banter with Taehyung to end. So a few seconds later you found yourself on the dance floor, jamming to the old classics with your favorite human in town. Taehyung and Yoongi might be close, but no one would beat your family.

The two of you danced around like crazy, exaggerating every move, having fun without any worries for a few songs.

That was until you saw Jimin looking over to the rest of your group, his eyebrows narrowing, a mixture of confusion and anger in his eyes - his jaw clenched as he was glaring somewhere. You followed his gaze to see Taehyung talking to a girl you didn’t know. You didn’t think anything of it at first, he didn’t seem very close to her, maybe even a bit uncomfortable.

“That little shit,” your cousin raised his voice, looking at you, “He better doesn’t do anything stupid.”

You threw him a questioning look, no idea what was going on, “What do you mean? They’re just talking.”

He shook his head, “That’s Elly. Elly and Taehyung are never just talking.“

His ex. What did this mean to you? You didn’t feel jealous somehow. The evening was fine, Taehyung was clearly giving all of his attention to you, the two of you weren’t dating, you didn’t even kiss yet. Of course, you hoped that this would change sooner or later, your feelings for him were undeniable at this point and part of you thought that they weren’t one-sided.

Before you said anything, Jimin was losing his temper, “He can’t treat you like this, (y/n). I’m going to talk to him.”

You laughed at his clearly drunken state, shaking your head, “No no, I can manage my relationships alone, don’t worry.”

He tried to look you in the eyes, failing slightly. You were pretty sure that if you’d ask him to touch his nose right now, he’d miss it by miles.

“Why, of all people, Taehyung? He’s too cold for you. I love this dude but I don’t want you to go through a hard time because of him,” he pouted, suddenly wanting to discuss your love life with you.

You knew you shouldn’t laugh, Jimin was being sincere and caring about you right now but his state was so fucked up that you couldn’t help it, “Let’s get you some water.”

Letting out a heavy sigh because you ignored him, he followed you to the Mins’ table where they were selling drinks.

They immediately let out a laugh, “Oh, Jimin,” Yoongi’s mother said amused at his clearly fucked-up state.

“Can we have a water, please?” you asked her as you held Jimin, wishing he’d stay still.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he tried to convince you, “I could do a cartwheel without a problem.”

“Please don’t,” you laughed at his confidence, giving him the cup of water and thanking Yoongi’s mother, “Should we go back to the table?”

He nodded and you walked over to your group of friends, handing Jimin over to Jungkook. Looking around you saw that Taehyung was missing. Just as his ex-girlfriend.

Of course, you couldn’t know if they left together. Maybe Taehyung just went home without saying goodbye. Checking your phone to see if he maybe texted you just disappointed you even more. You hated that you suddenly felt so vulnerable. The evening was so much fun up to this point, the fact that such a tiny thing could ruin your mood completely made you feel foolish.

Not daring to ask Yoongi if he knew where he went or if they left together, knowing he’d try to comfort you, making you feel even worse, you said your goodbyes to your friends, claiming you were tired and needed some sleep.

Walking over to your home luckily was only taking you a minute, considering that the harvest festival was held on your farm. The worst thing about all this was that you didn’t know how to feel. Technically, you had no reason to be mad or jealous, Taehyung and you never did anything more than flirting.

On the other hand though, you liked him, so of course, it hurt you that he was probably enjoying himself with his ex-girlfriend right now. Your head hurt from all the alcohol and overthinking. You wished he would at least have said goodbye to you. Maybe, after all, he wasn’t into you as much as you thought. Today would’ve been his chance to make a move otherwise.

Opening your door you almost got scared to death. Your heartbeat was going crazy fast and you were even more confused than before. Just as you accepted the fact that Taehyung left the party with his ex-girlfriend, he was sitting on your sofa, playing games on his phones, waiting for no one else than you.

“What are you doing here? How did you even get in?” you almost screamed, still shocked by the thought that someone broke into your house at first.

He laughed, simply stating, “I know where your spare key is.”

You shook your head in disbelief, “But what are you doing here? Why are you just sitting on my sofa?”

“I wanted to leave the party. But I still wanted to spend time with you.”

“What about Elly?” you blurted out, your eyes immediately widening after you asked, realizing that he and you never talked about her.

He looked at you in shock, “W-What?” you never head him stutter before, “What about her? How do you know?”, the confusion on his face vanished a bit, sighing heavy, “Yoongi told you about her, right?”

You nodded, “It just came up once in a conversation we were having. And when I saw you with her I just assumed you left with her.”

He laughed, looking at you like you were crazy, “Why would I do that?”

You shrugged, not having an answer to his question. “What do I know? Maybe you missed her.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’d waste your time like that. And my time also,” he said softly, “Forget about her. She came up to me as soon as you left, trying to talk so I left.”

You nodded, understanding what was going on now, “So, you decided to break into my house?”

“Oh, I can leave if you want me to.“

“That’s not what I said,” you rolled your eyes. Suddenly, there was a pause. Neither of you were saying anything and you felt unsure of how to continue.

“Shouldn’t we clean outside a bit already?” you asked Taehyung, trying to break the silence so you’d get out of this overwhelming situation.

Taehyung, on the other hand, seemed to be very relaxed, he almost felt at home on your sofa. He stood up, coming closer and closer to you, “It can wait until tomorrow.”

When he stopped, he was right in front of you, your feet were almost touching and if someone would push you at this moment, you surely would land on top of him, which actually sounded pretty nice to you. You nodded, trying to sneakily take a deep breath to calm down, you had no idea why you were so nervous. He’s by far not the first guy you kissed but he might be the one kiss you anticipated the most.

His hand slowly ran up your arm, then down again, giving you goosebumps all over your skin, his gentleness making you fall for him even more. His hand found yours and you looked into his eyes, wanting to drown in them as your stomach felt like it was tied in knots.

A small smile formed on Taehyung’s lips as you locked eyes, not able to have a single clear thought. By now you were sure that tonight would be the night you’d finally have him where you wanted him. All for yourself.

Coming nearer, you felt his upper body almost touching yours, his head was leaning in and you saw him slowly closing his eyes as his free hand found your hip, bringing you even closer to him.

The moment before the actual kiss was already breathtaking enough. The mixed smell of his cologne and the alcohol the two of you drank earlier was making you feel dense. The touch of his hand was already burning but as his nose brushed yours slightly, a rush of adrenaline was sent through your whole body, making your stomach turn and you suddenly felt hot in places you didn’t know he had an impact on until now. It was rather quiet, the only sound you could hear was the muffled music from outside, but you couldn’t figure out what song was playing, only feeling the bass of it. Your heart was beating so fast, you hoped he couldn’t hear it.

But all those little and unimportant things around you vanished as soon as you felt his soft lips, pressed onto yours with the perfect amount pressure. The kiss developed from something shy and soft into the projection of what both of you had been craving secretly for so long in no time. No one dared to break the kiss, not wanting it to be over.

His hand wandered all over your body, from your hip to your waist, to your arms, to your neck, right back down to your lower back until he held onto your thighs.

“Jump,” he mumbled hectic, his voice deeper than usual, between your kisses, not wanting to stop.

“Are you sure?” you asked him carefully.

He chuckled into your kiss, “Never been more sure.”

So you did as he told you and jumped up, your legs now crossed around his hips as he held you up like it was nothing, deepening the kiss once again, your tongue playing with his. Being with him like this was more exciting than you ever could’ve imagined.

Your hand found the nape of his neck, burying itself in his soft hair, as he was carrying you to the sofa he was sitting on just a few minutes ago.

So there you were, on top of Kim Taehyung, straddling his muscular thighs, feeling a heat in your core that you haven’t felt in such a long time but missed so much. The way his hands were exploring your body while his lips were busy kissing every single spot on your jaw and your neck was making you feel like you were going insane, leaving you wanting every single part of him.

A small, rather quiet groan came out of your mouth as he pulled you closer to him, not able to suppress what you were feeling any second longer. He chuckled once more, clearly satisfied with the feelings he was giving you, before giving his attention to your lips again.

His one hand was now on your neck, supporting every movement between the two of you, as his other hand was resting on your hip, slowly making you rock back and forth on him, the tension in both of your pants growing.

Slowly, his hand started to wander under your shirt, to a place where you needed him desperately. He was caressing the skin under your shirt carefully, teasing while taking his time. You wanted nothing more than for him to move them upwards towards your breasts, giving you more and more.

His lips were doing its magic on your neck again, kissing and nibbling on a soft spot under your ear as his hand slowly wandered up until his thumb finally found your nipple under your lace bra, the contact making you flinch a bit because of the intense feeling.

He let out a deep groan, sending shivers down your body and an undeniable friction in your underwear grew, making you rock your hips into him once more.

You started to wonder if you were prepared for what was about to happen, the two of you were just starting and you already felt like a mess, wanting him so much more. But he took his time, enjoying every single second of you on top of him.

His hand was now kneading your breast, the pressure just exactly right as he brushed your nipple every now and then, already knowing its effect on you. Every time he touched your bud lightly you couldn’t help but moan.

You let out a small whine as your breast lost contact with his hand, not wanting him to stop. But as you realized that he was only stopping to pull up your shirt you were more than willing to give him what he wanted. Within seconds you were not only shirtless but also braless, as Taehyung was throwing your bra away to the floor.

He studied what you looked like, wanting to never forget this moment. Leaning back on the couch you saw a satisfied smirk on his lips as his hand found your nipple again. He now was looking right into your eyes and you held eye contact with him, trying not to break it as you got wetter every time his thumb was caressing your nipple.

He enjoyed watching you trying to contain yourself for sure. The smirk on his lip was growing now and his glance was filled with a mixture of lust, adoration and mostly, anticipation of what was going to happen next.

You put your hand on his shoulder to support yourself as you started to dry-hump him, letting out a moan, a louder one this time, as you felt his erection under you.

“Shit,” he moaned, breaking eye contact and throwing his head back, his eyes closed as he bit his lip.

All of a sudden he stopped you from your actions, holding your hips down with both of his hand as he looked at you, frustration all over his face, “(Y/n), are you sure about this? I don’t think I’ll be able to stop once we started.”

Your heart skipped a beat, appreciating his question but you immediately gave him another kiss, this time a bit softer, kissing him deeply, before whispering into his ears. “Don’t you dare to stop now, Taehyung.”

You could hear his chuckle, his breath on your neck giving you goosebumps. “Thank god,” he said before lifting you up without warning you, making you scream a bit, afraid he’d let you fall.

“Be careful, you scared me to death,” you laughed as you were being carried towards your bedroom.

“You think I’d let you fall?” he said amused, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” you countered, making him laugh as he arrived in your bedroom, letting you down on top of your bed - now you were under him, lying down as he was still sitting on his knees, taking in the view of your naked upper body right in front of him, for him only.

You did the same - and what a beautiful view it was. He was hovering over you, your legs between his as he was pulling his top over his head, throwing it away before unbuckling his belt as you were running your hand over his toned chest.

Not long until both of you were only left in your underwear. Taehyung slowly removed your pants, before coming back up to you, supporting himself on his elbows as he gave you a deep kiss, adding tongue and caressing your cheek before looking at you. You couldn’t help but smile.

Taehyung gave you a small smile back, his eyes soft, “I love that smile.”

Before you could think about his compliment, one that he never gave you before, before you could get flustered or say anything back he suddenly changed the game completely, fastly pulling your underwear to the side and sliding one finger inside of you while his thumb was rubbing circles against your clit.

Taken aback by his sudden actions, you let out a loud moan, almost a scream, making Taehyungg smirk a bit before his lips wandered down to your neck once again, taking his time with you as he pumped his finger in and out in just the right rhythm. You moved your hip into his movements as his lips kissed down to your chest, his free hand holding your breast while his mouth teasingly played with your nipple, licking it and twirling his tongue around it, making you a moaning mess already.

Your hand was lightly stroking his dick through his boxers, leaving you wanting more. God, the things you wanted him to do with you were unholy.

The way he glanced at you as he was kissing his way down to your core looked like living art. Your whole body wanted him so bad, just the thought of where his mouth would travel to next or how it would feel when you’d finally feel him inside of you was making you go insane. Never before have you wanted something as much and at the same time hoped he’d take his time before.

Arriving at his destination he let out a moan, definitely being into all of this a bit too much too. He started to slowly kiss your inner thighs, holding your legs up a bit, teasing every part around where you wanted him the most.

“Stop teasing,” you whined, wanting him so much more than you currently had.

He chuckled against your core, the warm air making you flinch, “I thought that’s our thing,” before licking along your wet folds and then adding another finger, his tongue giving all its attention to your clit.

The pace in that he was going down on you was making your knees feel weak. He looked so handsome, his forehead in wrinkles as he was concentrating on pleasing you completely, moans vibrating against you.

It didn’t take long for the two of you until you were having sex, the two of you completely concentrating on the sensational feeling for the next moments.

After you finished you laid down on your stomach, not able to really move, as Taehyung let himself fall right next to you, giving your nose a small peck. He was not only out of breath but also still in trance of what had just happened, “I didn’t expect this,” he breathed, calming down from his orgasm.

You giggled a bit, “What? Us having sex?”

The smile he gave you made your heart race like crazy, his messy hair falling into his eyes, “I’m not complaining though.”

For a second you were lying there, letting Taehyung catch his breath and calming down. You felt your legs shaking from the intercourse you just had.

“Feel my legs,” you ordered chuckling, his hand on your thigh in a second as he felt how much you were shaking.

“Glad you liked it,” he laughed before getting up, “I’ll get you a towel, be right back.”

As you were waiting for him to come back you realized what had just happened. After all the flirting and teasing Taehyung and you actually ended up in your bed. The thought made you dizzy, but it could also be from the alcohol you drank. It seemed too good to be true.

Cleaning you up, you suddenly heard a laugh as he grabbed your ass, “I may or may not have left some marks. I’m sorry.”

You turned you head back, squinting your eyes at him, “You’re lucky no one else sees that part of me. The others would tease me to death about that.”

Slowly, he climbed back up to lay next to you, both of you on your stomach, his hand caressing your side, “Apparently they have a bet going on about when we’re going to end up together.”

“I’m not even surprised. Sounds like them,” you closed your eyes, enjoying Taehyung’s affection, “This feels nice.”

He hummed in agreement before giving you a small kiss, his forehead resting next to yours, “I could stay like this forever.”

“Then stay,” you offered, still not opening your eyes. Taehyung was getting a blanket, throwing it over both of you so you wouldn’t freeze, “Don’t leave. Stay here.”

“You want me to?” he asked, his hand now playing with your hair, “Alright, I’ll stay then. Sleep a bit, it’s late and you’re drunk.”

“I will, just give me one more kiss, okay?” you asked him, feeling yourself getting more tired by any passing second.

He chuckled as he came closer to your face once again, holding your face in his hands as he softly pressed his lips onto yours one more time, your naked bodies touching. “Good night, (y/n).”

Falling asleep, everything seemed too good to be true. Taehyung beside you, his scent in your nose as you slowly drifted to sleep in his arms.

As you woke up he was gone. First, you thought you had dreamed about yesterday's events but after a few seconds, you realized that it wasn’t a dream. You got drunk, you had sex, you fell asleep next to him. And now, he was gone.

Standing up, you wrapped your blanket around your naked body, looking for the man that you spend the night with but he was nowhere to be seen.

Well, maybe it was too good to be true.

It’s been five days. Five days since you shared your bed with Taehyung. Five days and your goddamn sheets still smelled like him – or maybe you were hallucinating at this point, wanting just something that reminds you of him around you.

The two of you talked to each other casually when you met on the farm. You said hello and talked about the weather. Shared awkward smiles. And that was about it. It’s not like he was cold to you or anything, he seemed to feel just as helpless and awkward about your drunk night together as you. As much as you loved the night and what happened, you definitely hated the aftermath.

Talking to Yoongi about it didn’t help, sadly. While you appreciate that he always listens to you and is ready to give you advice at any given time, you still had hoped that he’d suggest something else than to give him a bit of time.

The current tension between you was even worse than the sexual tension between you before. You didn’t care if you and Taehyung wouldn’t end up as a couple, of course, you’d like that very much and still hoped that things were going into that direction, but the two of you developed too much to just destroy the nice friendship you built because of feelings getting in the way.

So you decided to visit him that afternoon, feeling anxious as you were walking up the front porch of your neighbors. You barely remember how their house looked like from the inside since it’s been so long since you been inside. The front door stood open and you knocked against it, not wanting to be rude.

“Mrs. Kim?” you called for her as you slowly stepped inside, looking if you could find her but there was no sign of her being home.

Walking up the stairs, you tried to remember which room belonged to Taehyung until you were distracted by something odd and unexpected – suddenly your ears were filled with a beautiful but rather sad piano melody coming from the room on the back of the corridor.

Curious, your feet walked towards the source of the sound, your heart suddenly felt heavy, the sad melody immediately managed to impact your mood, making you feel blue. A part of you wanted to turn around and leave Taehyung alone, just like he probably wanted you to – if you figured out one thing about him over the last few months than it was the fact that this man was a complicated person, hard to read and even harder to talk to, but you decided to accept that. There were only two options: Either you’d work it out with him or you wouldn’t.

You stood in the open door, looking at the back of the man your heart wanted so bad, sitting in front of a big, wooden piano – for a second you couldn’t even believe that he was able to play such a heart touching piece of art, sitting in his room all alone. What a waste it was for him to play all alone, with no one around to hear. It made your heart sting for a second, at this point you liked him too much to go back. Just looking at him being at peace was making you crave to be the woman beside him. After all, he was Kim Taehyung, the one man that managed to surprise you over and over again.

As quiet as possible you walked into the tidy and light room, not wanting to give him a heart attack by creeping up on him but also not wanting him to stop playing. It was a beautiful sight, the way his hands were gliding on the big instrument so smooth and without thinking. You couldn’t see his face yet but you were already swooning over how beautiful he looked.

He looked over his shoulders as you cleared your throat, continuing to play even without paying attention to the keys, giving you an unreadable smile. You sat down on his bed that was placed right beside the piano as he stopped playing.

“Didn’t expect you to come visit me if I am honest,“ Taehyung admitted, almost sounding shy. He seemed to be a bit uncomfortable, knowing exactly that he finally had to face the night you shared a few days ago.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be able to play the piano so skillfully but yet, here you are, doing exactly that,“ you countered in a soft tone, not wanting him to feel like you were mad at him, “That sounded beautiful.”

He chuckled and you were happy to see him relax a bit, “You think so? It was rather depressing, wasn't it?”

“Matching your mood?” you dared to ask him carefully, trying to address the whole situation somehow.

He stood up from his chair and walked over to you, sitting down next to you on his bed, “It’s my dad’s birthday today. He taught me the song I just played.”

His voice was full of love while talking about his father but you could hear the hidden sadness behind it. You didn’t know about that and suddenly, you felt guilt rushing over you. While you were wondering why he didn't try to solve the obvious problem between you and him he had something way harder to deal with. Looking up at you, he forced a small smile, “Mum and Olli are visiting his grave but I didn’t feel like going.”

Trying to give him any kind of comfort you nodded, pressing your lips into a thin line. You were surprised that he was opening up to you but as sad as the situation was, it was relieving you that he finally talked to someone about it. According to Jimin and Yoongi he tried to avoid this topic as much as he could.

“Why did you stay here?” you asked him, trying to keep the conversation going and show him your support. What you didn’t want was overwhelm him with questions, so you slowly started to see how comfortable he was around you.

He shrugged, looking up at the ceiling, “It’s such a sad place. I feel like we shouldn’t be sad on his birthday, if that makes sense. We should eat his favorite food and drink a beer and stay up too long, playing guitar on the porch. Mum and Dad always sneaked out at night on his birthday, taking drunk walks. They thought I didn’t notice but they were always coming back, laughing loudly. I miss celebrating his birthdays. But it’s hard to be happy on his birthday without him here.”

He laid down on his bed, his head right next to where you were currently sitting. You studied his face, his eyes still glued to the ceiling, not daring to look at you, the woman he hurt by leaving her after having sex with her. The sun outside was setting, leaving Taehyung’s whole room in a golden light, his tan skin was glowing and his light-brown hair shimmering.

While he seemed to be sad on the outside you could see that talking about the memories he made with his father was making him feel lighter. It was nice seeing him talking about his dad - they always have been very close, you still could recall that.

“I still remember him so vividly. He always gifted me self-made jam before I left the city and no other jam, literally not a single one at home was comparable to his,“ you shared your memory with Taehyung, looking out of the big window in his room, admiring the sun, “He has a beautiful soul.”  

When you came over you wouldn't have expected to talk to Taehyung about his father but you knew that everything else, every problem and unsolved question, between the two of you could wait for now.

“I wish I was more like him,“ his voice was nothing more than a mumble, almost inaudible. The sudden craving to hold him came over you, to comfort him in your arms, to kiss him until he felt better. But you held back, as long as you didn’t talk about the obvious.

“What do you mean?” you asked him, daring to lay down beside him – luckily, he didn’t seem to mind. The two of you didn’t touch or cuddled, you just were lying there, on his bed, having a serious and meaningful conversation.

“He was so kind and positive. He told my mother different reasons why he loved her every night. Even after a long day of work he still took his time and practiced the piano with me every night and then brought Olli to bed, reading him a good night story or playing him songs on the guitar until he fell asleep. He taught me so much but still, I could never be so full of love like he used to be.”

“You think too low of yourself, Tae,“ you said determined, meaning it, “I don’t think you see how much your mother appreciates everything you do for her. She knows that you didn’t plan out your life like this but you’re staying here for her. And Olli looks up to you so much, you could do nothing to let him down.”

He shrugged, looking at you for a second, “I don’t feel like that’s enough.”

Feeling heartbroken about hearing him talk so bad about himself, your hand found his in between the two of you, linking it with yours, now it was you who didn't dare to look into his eyes, “Look at us then.”

“What do you mean?” he asked you, confused.

“Since I moved here you gave me so much joy and helped me everywhere you could. You have no idea how much I appreciate all the things you’ve done for me since I came here, complicated tensions between us or not,“ you meant every word.

He scoffed lightly, “I attacked you on your first day, made you churn butter and let you fall into the lake in the middle of the night on your birthday.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his words, “Well, yes. And I could still kill you for all of those things. But,“ you started, turning your body towards him to look into his eyes, “You also helped me calm the cows during the storm. You gave me the most meaningful birthday present I could’ve thought of. You brought me a basket full of my favorite fruits even though you still deny that you did-”

He let out a soft chuckle before interrupting you, “That wasn’t me,“ he insisted once again with a grin on his face.

“Sure, Kim,“ you rolled your eyes at him picking up this discussion again, “You might think you’re being cold but you’re not at all.”

Now he turned to face you too, both of you lying on the side, looking in each other’s eyes. His brows narrowed as he tried to say something to you, the expression in his eyes seemed to be hurt, maybe even guilty.

A heavy sigh came from his lips before he closed his eyes, “I just left you. That morning. I just got up and left.”

Those words made you freeze. After all, you came here to talk about exactly that but it seemed so wrong right now, “We don’t have to talk abou-”

“I just left,“ he repeated, seeming disappointed with himself, “I never just left someone after having sex with them. There were people that meant way less to me and I still stayed the morning after. I am being a complete asshole to you all the time and still, you don’t hate me. You’re here, trying to make sure I’m okay.”

Keeping quiet was the only thing you could do at that moment. Taehyungs words seemed harsh but the tone in his voice sounded guilty. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t say anything – you had no idea what Taehyung was trying to say.

“Tae,“ you finally started after a few seconds, his full attention on you, “This day is hard enough for you already. We don’t have to talk about that right now. I’m not mad at you.”

“You should be though. I know, I am pretty amazing but not even such a godlike man like me shouldn’t treat you like this,“ he joked but both of you knew it was his way of comprehending because he didn’t know how to handle the conversation you were about to have since he always struggled to talk about his feelings, especially sober.

“Why did you leave then?” you asked him the one question you asked yourself over and over again. There could have been millions of options in your mind. Maybe, he regretted it and it was just a drunk mistake. Maybe, the feelings you thought he had for you were just sexually. Maybe, he simply had to go and do something early in the morning. So many maybes that have gone through your head without any idea if any of those maybe’s were right.

“I don’t know. I wish I didn’t,“ he bit his lip nervously, not looking into your eyes anymore, afraid to see your reaction, “Maybe I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” you asked, not sure if you actually wanted to know the answer. You felt many emotions when it came to him. You felt happiness, joy, hope, possibly love. On other days you felt powerless, insecure and confused. What you never felt was being afraid. Pretty sure, you actually felt safe around him.

“I’m not as flawless and strong as I constantly try to convince you I am,“ he sighed, pressing his lips into a straight line, “I couldn’t stand to hurt you because of my own problems. But I still did.”

Slowly you nodded as your heart was sinking deeper and deeper in your stomach, “You’ve got to talk to me. What are you thinking about?”

Taehyung hated this probably even more than you did. He was good in so many things – he was a good friend, a better brother and the best son. He was an amazing cook and apparently, an amazing piano player. He could flirt like no tomorrow and crack jokes around his friends that would make everyone laugh. He could drink a lot and he could make your heart beat faster.

There were countless things he was able to be and to do without any problem. But when it came to talking about his feelings and showing his vulnerable side he failed. You knew that just as good as everyone else but if he wouldn’t talk, you couldn’t continue to work on your relationship.

“I–“ he started but stopped, looking at you sternly while clenching his jaw a bit. His eyebrows furrowed and his expression looked almost pained, trying to find the right words, “I think that I loved the night with you. I did, really. But maybe, it was a bit thoughtless of us.”

“So, what you’re trying to say is that you regret it,“ you stated, trying to just get this conversation over with, hoping he couldn’t see or hear that you felt like he just put a knife in your stomach.

„God, no,“ his answer bursted out of him like a bullet before he started mumbling to himself, „I am truly terrible at this.“

You gave him a few seconds to gather his thoughts even though the silence was deafening. This wasn't how you expected to spend your first time in Taehyung's bed at all.

„I like you, (y/n),“ he then spoke, determined, „Obviously I do. And I think you like me too, or at least I hope you do. But we were drunk and desperate when we had sex and I wanted it to be special.“

You couldn't help but pout at his helpless confession, adoring him even more than before. Within seconds all of your doubts vanished – as long as Taehyung liked you too you would find a way to work everything out. Trying not to let your overflowing happiness show, you gave him a small smirk, „You thought about us having sex?“

Luckily, his body relaxed too, an annoyed smile appearing on his handsome face, „All the time,“ he scrunched his nose, his arm wrapping itself around your waist.

„So, what you're saying is that you ignored me for days because you didn't like the way it happened?“ you asked him, coming back to the actual topic.

Frowning, he sighed, „When you put it like this it sounds stupid.“

„Because it is,“ you insisted, squinting your eyes at him, „I thought you avoided me because you hated me or something like that.“

„I'm so sorry,“ he apologized again, his face coming closer to yours, „Apparently, I'm very bad at this.“

„So, what are we doing now?“ you asked him, feeling a bit anxious even though Taehyung just told you that he liked you too, so you had nothing to worry about.

„First, I want to kiss you if you're fine with that,“ his fingers were drawing little patterns on your waist, „and then I'd like us to become something serious.“

Nodding, you did as he asked and gave him a kiss, his soft lips feeling just as good, if not better, as you remembered them. You felt something like butterflies in your stomach and you thought that Taehyung would probably make fun of you if he knew how jolly he made you feel.

Breaking from the kiss, the most handsome man you've ever seen stared you down for a second, not saying anything.

„We should celebrate,“ he suddenly suggested.

„What do you have in mind?“ you asked him curiously, not once escaping his gaze.

„Let me take you out to dinner,“ his voice was sweet as honey and you were sure you never heard him talk in such a soft tone – it might be the rest of guilt he still felt towards you or the fact that now you officially knew about each other's feelings but you could get used to it. You wanted to get used to it.

„Right now?“ you asked him, wondering if it would be okay considering it was his father's birthday.

„I don't wanna wait a second longer,“ he smirked at his own cheesiness, getting out of his bed to get ready to go.

You joined him, „Stop being so loving. God, where did my cynical Taehyung go?“

Rolling his eyes, he chuckled as he wrapped his arm around your waist, walking down the hallway with you. „This changes nothing,“ he gestured between the two of you, „You're still terribly annoying even if we're together now.“

„I could get used to the sound of that,“ you scrunched your nose as your eyes met before you repeated his words, „We're together now.“

Even though he tried to hide it, he was just as excited about the label as you were. You could feel it in the way he touched you and the sparkle in his eyes gave him away.

A few minutes later you were sitting outside of the restaurant in the heart of your city, the marketplace was pretty quiet as it slowly got dark outside, a candle lit on your table.

The owner of the restaurant greeted you, raising his eyebrow and smirking as he saw the two of you together. „Oh, what a nice sight to see the two of you here together. Is this a date by any chance?“

You let Taehyung answer, not knowing if he was okay with telling people yet.

„It's still a secret so you have to keep quiet, please,“ he answered with a proud smile on his lips and you could swear his chest was sticking out a bit.

„What a pretty couple,“ he sang as he went back inside, giving you a bit of time to read the menu and decide on what to eat.

Even though it was almost autumn it was still warm outside – you loved those kind of late summer evenings. Without even having a single sip of alcohol you felt almost tipsy, the man opposite of you making you feel all light and smitten.

„This is the downside of living in such a small town,“ Taehyung started, his skin glowing in the candlelight, „We have zero privacy.“

„I don't mind,“ you shrugged, „They're going to find out sooner or later. It's the charm of towns like ours.“

„I just would like to take you out on a date every now and then without one of the guys crashing it because they see us,“ he explained, „But you're right, it's not as bad here as I make it out to be.“

He took your hand that was resting on the table, caressing it with his thumb. Every touch you two shared make you shiver in anticipation for more. Even though you already knew you were head over heels for him you felt yourself falling deeper every time you touched.

Time went by way too fast for your liking and before you knew it you two had your dinner, your dessert and even some drinks afterwards. The atmosphere was light, both of you enjoying each other's company after not talking for some days.

„I don't want this night to end just yet,“ you pouted. Before you dared to take his hands you glanced around to see if Jimin was anywhere to be seen, not wanting him to disturb your peace.

Your new boyfriend, still a weird thought to call him that, nodded, „I can stay if you want to.“

Before you could say anything he fastly added, „I don't have to though. It's your decision. I can leave too.“

You gave him a weird glance, „You're acting like this would be a first for us.“

Not saying anything he almost froze in front of you, fidgeting with his hands, staring at your door. For a few seconds you mustered him, waiting if he'd say something but nothing came out of his mouth, which was pretty unusual for him.

„Oh god, you're nervous!“ your grin was a mile wide and you clapped your hands amused, „Kim Taehyung is nervous because of me. I can't wait to tell my diary about this.“

Frustration was written all over his face as he closed his eyes as if he couldn't believe himself. „Your diary must be full of my name,“ he mumbled under his breath before looking at you again, the satisfied smile on your face provoking him, „Stop making fun of me.“

As you were searching for your keys in your back he hugged you from behind, pressing a kiss against your hair, “Let’s drink some beer and watch a movie.”

Nodding, you stole a quick kiss from his lips and opened the door, letting the both of you in.

“I’m going to get a blanket,” you informed him, “Get some beers, I’ll meet you in the couch in a minute.

„What do you wanna watch?“ he asked you a few moments later, one leg bent while the other one was spread out on your sofa, his arm spread on the back of it, just waiting for you to join him.

The sight of him comfortably sitting on your sofa gave you the most domestic feeling you've felt in a long time – he seemed to look even better than before somehow.

„Let's watch an animal documentation,“ you responded, sitting down next to him. The blanket you brought from your bedroom spread over the two of you, you dared to cuddle yourself up to him and he seemed to enjoy it as much as you, giving your head a quick kiss, your face resting on his chest.

„You're weird,“ he muttered, „Let's watch a horror movie instead.“

Giving him an unimpressed glance, you sighed, „How cliche.“

You could feel his chuckle going through his chest, „At least it would give me a reason to stay for the night.“

Rolling your eyes, you looked up at him, his glance already on you, „Why? Because you're too afraid of horror movies? Because I am certainly not.“

„I have such a brave girlfriend,“ he acknowledged in a sarcastic tone while opening two beers, handing you one, „Here's to us, babe.“

Clinking your bottles, you took a sip of your beer, „So, you're a babe kind of guy? Wouldn't have thought that.“

„I can call you asshole if you prefer that,“ he said seriously before starting to laugh at his own joke once again.

And with that, the rest of the evening was just as perfect as the first part. It was just you, Taehyung, some beers and Netflix. Every now and then you shared kisses, sometimes those kisses were a bit more passionate and longer, turning into full make-out sessions before Taehyung started to whine because he missed the plot of the movie you were watching.

“God, I’m so happy,” he told you softly as you were slowly falling asleep in his arms, relaxing completely under his touch, “I wanted this for so long.”

You and Taehyung managed to keep your relationship a secret for about two weeks. It took you only two short weeks to decide that it didn’t make any sense to keep it from them. Not only were both of you pretty sure that the relationship between you was serious but also, like always, none of your friends stopped their teasing, making it difficult to stay hidden because their eyes were always on you.

“We have to tell them,” your boyfriend looked at you, “It’s a miracle they didn’t find out yet.”

You chuckled, wrapping your legs around his, “I guess you’re right. But they are going to be so nosey about it. I hate it already.”

It was a late summer Saturday evening, probably one of the lasts warm days for this year and Yoongi decided to gather your friends and your family together for one last barbecue.

Walking outside, you linked your arm with Taehyung’s, something you’ve never done before in front of other people. A part of you almost felt nervous to let the rest know.

“You’re ready?” he asked you, giving you a small wink as you walked towards the big table next to the barbecue grill. Your families were already sitting down on the big table while Yoongi and Hoseok were struggling to get the barbecue grill to work. It was a beautiful evening, the sun was still high but was about to sink, the warm summer breeze felt refreshing and the big table in the garden was full of drinks and food, from meat to salads to bread to vegetables. Yoongi’s parents were there too, currently mixing some cocktails.

Jimin was the first to spot the two of you walking out of your cottage, giving you a confused glance, his eyebrows narrowed. He stopped telling the other a story he was in the middle of, wondering about the sudden skinship. Immediately, everyone turned their heads to where he was looking, wondering what made Jimin speechless.

As you arrived you said nothing, waiting for anyone to say something.

Yoongi looked at you with a big grin on his face. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, pointing onto your linked arms.

“You are fucking with us, aren’t you?”, your cousin asked suspiciously, “Ha Ha. Very funny.”

“No, for once I’m serious,” you replied, amused because he didn’t believe you, “Are you really surprised?”

Mrs. Kim and your uncle looked at each other, a smile on their faces.

“Taehyung, are you serious? You can’t trick your old mother like this, don’t make me excited for something that isn’t true.”

Taehyung chuckled at his mother, nodding, “Don’t worry, mum. I’d never lie to you.”

Jimin still didn’t seem to believe you, “If you’re not kidding you gotta kiss,” he insisted with a sly smirk, thinking that he exposed you now.

You looked at Tae, giving him a questioning glance, not knowing if he’d be comfortable kissing you in front of everyone. But he didn’t seem to care and just shook his head amused before he came closer to give you a short, but still very adorable, kiss on your lips, his arm now around your waist, before turning to Jimin, who looked like he was about to faint.

“Who do you think you are just dating my cousin without asking me for permission?” he yelled angrily, getting ready to fight Taehyung.

You, Yoongi and Hoseok started to laugh out loud as Jimin started to chase after Taehyung.

Sitting down on the table right next to Yoongi’s seat he pinched your cheeks lightly, “Congratulations, finally trapped him, huh?”

You nodded, “Was about time. I was slowly going insane.”

“In a more peaceful minute, you need to tell me all about how it happened, alright?” your best friend said with a satisfied smile on his lips, “And don’t forget me now that you’re in love.”

“How could I ever?” you promised, laughing as Taehyung came back to the table, out of breath from running away from Jimin.

“Your cousin is crazy, (y/n),” he breathed heavily, shaking his head, “Maybe I have to reconsider becoming part of your family.”

“Well, too late now,“ you shrugged as Jimin  joined the table again too, a goofy smile on his face as he turned to you.

“So, I assume I can’t try to set you up with Jungkook anymore, right?” he joked, sitting back down on his chair and opening two cans of beer, one for himself and the other one for you.

„You better watch your mouth,“ your boyfriend warned Jimin, giving him a warning glance.

A few hours later, the sky was pitch-black by now and the stars sparkling, you noticed that Taehyung was gone for quite some time now and decided to go check up on him - you saw him going to the barn earlier.

As you walked over to Taehyung he already noticed you but didn’t look at you yet. Instead, you only saw his back as he was busy giving Bertha some kisses.

“Oh no, don’t worry, Bertha,“ he talked to her, “You’re still my favorite cow, just don’t tell (y/n).”

You rolled your eyes, scoffing, “You’re trying to make me jealous?”

He turned around, acting as if he didn’t realize you coming on, “Oh no, (y/n),“ his voice was mocking, “You shouldn’t have seen this, I can explain, I promise.”

Laughing at his own joke, he came over to you and put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. Trying to give you a kiss, you freed yourself from his grip, giving him the cold shoulder.

“No, go and kiss Bertha, if you love her so much,“ you huffed and held your chin up high, trying to stay serious but Taehyung wasn’t having it. Within seconds his arms were wrapped around you once again, now tighter than before so you couldn’t escape if you wanted.

Pulling you into a hug, he locked his eyes with you, a joyful smile on his still so beautiful lips, “You’re so annoying.”

Scoffing, you avoided his eyes, still playing hard to get, „I thought we're over the whole 'you're annoying me' phase.“

„Actually, each time I told you that you're annoying I fell in love with you a bit more,“ your boyfriend confessed, still hugging you tightly before smirking, „But you still were a pain in the ass.“  

You gave him a quick and small kiss before resting your forehead against his, “I want to spend the rest of my life annoying you.”

He let out a small laugh, his eyes closed. “Oh, that’s good,“ suddenly he picked you up, giving you no other chance as to hold onto him, your legs around his waist as he was holding you up, his arms tightly around your waist, “Because I want to spend the rest of my annoying life with you.”

[hotch-stufff]

hiii 47 and 7 for angst hotch

i love ur writing btw <3

Drunk

gif by hoe-tchner

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Warnings!: mentions of abuse, stalking, and death, past abusive relationships, normal criminal minds things, angst, crying, pining, but a fluffy ending

Promtps: Angst #7 "Are you drunk?", Angst #47 "You flinched"

Author's Note: Thank you so much <3, hope you enjoy reading!!

---------------

In hindsight, it probably wasn’ the best idea to get drunk at a bar. Especially alone. But you weren’t exactly thinking straight when you had stepped off the jet after a long case. And it had been a LONG case. Nearly a week of going through the same evidence over and over again scouring for a lead. Finally finding a lead, and coming to a dead end. 

The eventual lead that you did catch, led to the unsub already standing over her next victim’s body. At least you got a full confession. But you had been the one that had found the unsub. If that wasn’t enough, this case had already been hitting way too close to home. 

A woman was murdering victims of domestic abuse to “save them” because her mom was never “saved” from her father’s abuse. She had grown up watching it. Her victims had all had y/h/c hair, with y/e/c eyes. The same height as you, same style, just overall very similar. The only difference the team saw had been that you were never abused. At least that was what your file had said.

You had been able to keep it on the low for as long as you had been at the BAU. But you were terrified one of them would figure it out. That you would flinch at the wrong time, or you would do something to give it away.

You had gotten lucky and no one seemed suspicious. You ended up hiding in the back of the jet, curled up. No one bothered you. They all assumed that the case had just hit you harder. The one thing you hadn’t known though was that Hotch had been keeping a very close eye on you.

You two had become close, and would often hang out at each other's apartments. Spending tjme just talking about nothing and everything for hours. He had quickly become one of your best friends. You always went to him when you were upset.

But tonight, you just needed to get away.

Which is how you found yourself in this bar, downing your fifth drink. In the back of your mind, you knew that you wouldn't be able to drive home, or even walk without tripping over your own feet. You needed to call someone, and your drunk self called Hotch. While the phone rang you checked the time. 3 am. He was going to kill you.

“Hotchner.” You giggled drunkenly at his formal response.

“Why so serious bossman?” He recognized your voice immediately. 

“Y/n? Are you okay?” 

“M’great. Havin a blast.” You slurred.

“Are you drunk?” He asked and you giggled again.

“Mayyybe.” You slurred, concerning Hotch even more.

"Where are you?”

“Mabel's I think. But let me tell you. I think you need to come get me because there is no way m’drivin home.” He huffed as you heard noise coming from the phone.

“I'm on my way, stay there!” But you hung up. You were so excited to see him. Truth was you had definitely developed a crush for the man. Telling him that was going to be difficult, mainly because of your past, but also because he was your boss, and about 12 years older than you.

You waited for about 10 minutes before you heard the door ring as it opened and Hotch ran inside, frantically searching around. He found you and was quickly at your side.

“Y/n, are you okay?” You nodded sleepily. You always did get sleepy after your sixth drink. He gave you a concerned glance before reaching for your arm. You flinched slightly, but Hotch didn’t say anything about it. He picked you up because there was no way that you could walk, and carried you out to his car. 

“You’re staying with me tonight.” He had said once on the road. You lazily watched  out the window as buildings went by. 

“M’kay.” You mumbled. Hotch sent you another concerned glance. Something was wrong, but he couldn't quite figure out what. Usually when a case hit you hard, you would spend the night talking with him. He had been surprised when you hadn't shown up at his apartment. Even more shocked when you had called him drunk. He cared about you and it hurt him to see you like this.

Soon he found himself pulling into his driveway. He parked and quickly ran to your side of the car to help you out. He opened your door, and reached his hand over to unbuckle you when suddenly you shifted back. Your arms came up as if to block a blow and a whimper escaped your lips. 

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I promise!” You let out, sounding much more sober now. Hotch stood there dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. 

“Y/n, it’s me, can you hear me, its Aaron?” You moved your arms from your face, peeking out wide eyed. You pulled your arms the rest of the way down. 

“Sorry Hotch. That was just, um, that w-was-” But he cut you off.

“You flinched.” He paused looking at the tears in your eyes, realizing that he needed to get you inside before you broke down in the car. “C’mon, let's go inside.” You bowed your head and nodded. 

“Okay.” You said softly. He helped you out of his car slowly, and walked you up to his apartment. Once there, you plopped on his couch, sobering up for the conversation you knew was going to happen. He walked in the room, a glass of water in hand. He handed it to you, sitting next to you. he waited a few moments before beginning the inevitable conversation.

“Y/n, why did you flinch?” He asked hesitantly. He didn't want to push you, but he was concerned and he wanted to know. So you told him. Every detail, every heartbreaking moment. The bruises, the scars, the hospital trips. Everything. The reports, the disbelief, the arrest, the divorce. Then the even worse parts. The escape, the stalking, the attack, the death. Every little thing. You could feel the tears falling down your face as you spoke about your ex-husband. 

Hotch sat as he watched the beautiful woman sitting in front of him break down. He didn't know any of this, none of it was in your file. He knew that Strauss had to know though, because you never would have been accepted without background checks and psych evals. 

His heart broke a little more every time you shared another detail. On one side it felt so nice to get it off your chest. On the other hand, it was weird opening up to Hotch like this. He was seeing so much more of you than you had ever allowed anyone since your husband. He sat in silence once you finished speaking. 

“Y/n. I'm so sorry. You never should have had to go through that.” And the tears came even faster, until they were silent sobs. Hotch, well he was more Aaron in that moment, brought you into his arms holding you tight, bringing you a comfort you hadn’t felt in a long time. “Shh, shh. It’s okay. I’m right here. It’s okay to cry.”He silently whispered into your hair. You looked up at him then, sighing softly at the beautiful man before you. 

“Thank you Aaron.” He loved the way his name sounded coming from your lips. But before he could tell you, he looked down to find you asleep in his arms. And that's how he stayed until morning. 

                       * * *

The next morning you awoke to a strange bed, with strange sheets, in a strange room. But one sniff and all you could smell was Hotch’s cologne. You soon recognized that there was a warm body behind your own, an arm wrapped around your middle. 

You almost didn't remember what happened last night, but once you did, you began to panic. What if he hated you? What if he was disgusted by you? He probably had just pitied you.  

He must have felt you shift, because he was waking up. His arm tightened around you, and he leaned up looking you in the eyes. He saw your panic and was alert rather quickly for someone who had just woken up. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked quickly, eyes scanning you frantically. 

“You must be disgusted with me.” You paused taking a deep breath. “I'm sorry Hotch. I ruined your night and then cried all over you with my pathetic life story. And you probably just pitied me. I'm sorry.” He shook his head. 

“Y/n, look at me.” You looked into his eyes. “I am and never will be disgusted by you. I am amazed by you. You are so strong and beautiful and you never deserved a thing that disgusting man did to you. I don’t pity you, not at all. All of this has just made me fall more in love with you than I already was.” You looked at him wide eyed.

“You love me?” He leaned a little closer.

“Of course I do. It's impossible not to.” You dared closer still as he moved a piece of hair from your face. The loving gesture warming your heart. 

“Thank you. For everything. I love you too Aaron.” And he sealed your lips. It was intimate and explosive at the same time. And in the most cliche way, fireworks exploded as you kissed him. 

You moved together passionately. Your noses bumped ever so slightly as he kissed you deeper than you had ever been kissed. He was an amazing kisser, to say the least. He broke away a moment later, smiling down at you. 

“Give me a chance to show you what real love is, what it's supposed to be.” You nodded.

“Of course Aaron.” And you kissed him again, sliding your hands around his neck into his hair. It was the happiest you had been in a very long time. 

So in hindsight, maybe getting drunk wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

---------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If i don't get to yours, I'm sorry!! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[donutloverxo]

NSFW alphabet | Chris Evans

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+.

Note - This is written just for fun. I don't know Chris or what he likes lol. I also don't own the alphabet format.

Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

Warnings - rpf, smut, daddy kink, d/s relationship, dom Chris, anal stuff, semi public sex, spanking, sex toys, praise kink.

Word count - 2.5k

A=Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Chris is clingy as fuck after sex. He’ll hold you close to his heart (you being the lil spoon of course) and not let go the entire night. With soft kisses on your face, hair and on any bruises he might have left on you. With some pillow talk about how his love for you can overwhelm him sometimes, that he can’t imagine not having you not that he gets to have a taste of you almost every night. Sometimes he likes to listen to you talk about your day, or share a deep secret you hadn’t told anyone else.

His clinginess is something you adore. Something which you would usually be fine with, how he just could not keep his hands off of you, but when you’re somewhere tropical and hot it becomes a bit of a problem.

You were visiting him while he was filming for red Sea diving resort, after seeing him in the beard and the longer hair you couldn’t help yourself and you just jumped on him. After some hot and sweaty sex, you had moved away from him a little, with your back to him you wiped the sheen off of your forehead with the back of your hand, trying to fan yourself with your own hand, ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ he had growled. Not wanting even an inch of distance between the two of you. You tried to protest because you needed to cool off but eventually gave in.

B=Body Part (Their favorite body part)

Everyone knows the answer to this. He likes your ass the most. It doesn’t matter if it’s a flat ass or a thick one he’ll love it the same because it’s a part of you. He likes to smack it, he likes looking at it, he may even like to fuck it. Some stretch marks would just be the cherry on top.

His next favorite would have to be your hips. He loves to see their silhouette through your yoga pants or jeans, or even a dress. After a night of some rough fucking they usually bear his handprints which he loves obviously because it’s almost like he branded you as his own.

C=Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I’m a disgusting person)

It’s always a battle with the two of you when it comes to cumming. Because Chris likes to see your body covered in his seed, particularly your face, ass and breasts, and you like to have him do it inside you, be it your pussy or your mouth.

Which he doesn’t mind obviously, he likes the idea of his spend being in your tummy, but he also likes taking pictures of your ass covered with his spunk. You just look so pretty when he comes on your face🥺

D=Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory)

Chris has fucked you in more bathrooms than you can remember. It’s become a thing or almost a ritual now. Whenever he takes you to an event or a party, or just a casual dinner at his family or friends house, you’ll end up on your knees in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth, or he’ll worship you and eat you out till you literally can’t even walk straight.

It started when you accompanied him to an important event, he was extremely anxious. And you felt helpless because you didn’t know how to make him feel better. But you did know one thing that always lifts his mood up. So you dragged him to the men’s room and sucked him off. He was much relaxed the rest for the evening thanks to you.

E= Experience (How experienced are they?)

VERY. He’s extremely experienced. He has a lot of knowledge and puts it to good use on you. Which can be a little daunting if you’re more on the inexperienced side but don’t ne afraid. He’ll train you really well, you just have to be a good girl and listen.

F= Favorite Position

His favorite position would be doggy style. Where he’s doing from behind, with you on your hands and knees, or with your head down and ass perched up to him because you never can stay up right when he’s doing you so well. He has full access to your ass, if you’re okay with it he would use his fingers on you, spank your ass. He loves to grab your hips or your ass and your breasts.

He’s also a huge fan of missionary. Because he can’t see your pretty face, or look into your eyes from behind. Most days he wants intimacy and to show you how much he loves you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Depends on his mood. Sometimes he’s a bit goofy, like talking in a comically exaggerated Boston accent when you told him you liked the sound of his voice and how his accent becomes more prominent when he is horny.

But most of the times, he’s in control. He has to maintain some composure so you wouldn’t question who’s really in charge or think that you could get away with anything. Because you know how to make him laugh, and if he let’s you do that he couldn’t keep a straight face while punishing you.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Chris has dark Brown pubic hair, like that of his beard and the hair on his head.

Does anyone remember that term ‘manscaping'? Where dudes trim their pubic hair to make their dicks look bigger. Chris definitely does that. Although he doesn’t need to because like if he got any bigger he might split you in two.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Doesn’t matter if you’re making love, or fucking hard it will always be intimate and loving with Chris in one way or another.

If you feel needy, and like you want him to show you how much he loves you, you just have to sit on his lap, bat your lashes at him, show him your puppy eyes, and hump his leg a little. He’d get the sign and take you to bed, slowly dragging his cock in and out of you, drawing it out for the both of you, his fingers laced with yours, pinned above your head. He’d feast on your breasts and nipples the whole time just so you could feel his love and need for days.

If you’re feeling particularly frisky, or in a mood to piss him off just so he could be rough with you without you having to ask, you can just give him attitude or roll your eyes a lot. He’ll spank your ass raw, or edge you for hours, or make you climax till it literally hurts, depends on his mood really, to teach you some manners. But since you like the punishment you never learn.

Even while he’s got you over his knee, you not wearing anything but the diamond necklace he gave you, your cheeks wet from crying for the past fifteen minutes, your ass on fire but you still had to take more from him. He tsked, reprimanding you for ruining his expensive dress pants with your slick, playing with your intimate lips, he’d say while stroking your head, “It’s okay, baby, daddy still loves you. Even when you get on my nerves.”

Even while fucking you like he hated you, he made you felt loved and as if you were the most precious person in the world.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When you started dating, Chris would often masturbate to the thought of you. But when you started sleeping together he never felt the need to, and you asked him not to do it anymore because you didn’t want him wasting his cummies.

Which might’ve been a huge mistake in hindsight because you revealed a weakness of yours. Now when he REALLY wants to punish you, he’d just tie you up jerk off his cock right before your eyes, “See this, sweetheart? I could be fucking your sweet pussy right now, and making you feel good too, but you had go and be a bad girl.” He’d come all over your face or breasts, and would of course make you come too if he feels you’ve learned your lesson.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Chris has a huge daddy kink. He doesn’t just like the title, he likes everything that comes along with it.

He likes that he has to take care of you, in and outside if the bedroom, being a daddy is a 24/7 job, he has to be considerate to you and grateful for all the trust and love you give him.

He also really likes pinning you down. Whether it be during play wrestling or during sex, it makes him feel strong, and it drives you crazy, absolutely feral for him.

L=Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Yeah you’ve had your share of sneaking off to do it during events but his favorite place to do it would be in the privacy of his own home, preferably his bed so that your dog won’t walk in on you.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you simply say, “Screw me.” That would probably be more than enough to turn him on and fulfil your request.

But what grinds his gears is seeing you in tight clothing, or the kind of clothes that would show off your assets. If you’re a good mom to dodger, if you show an interest in the things he likes or do anything that would make his heart flutter and make him fall more in love with you.

N= NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never have proper public sex because that would probably interfere with his public image and work. Other than that he’s pretty open to most things.

He also wouldn’t like to invite anyone else to your bedroom or to share you. It is a nice fantasy for him but way too risky.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes both giving and receiving equally. He likes having you on your back where he can see your face while he explores your intimate walls with his tongue, but he also likes to have you ride his face. You were apprehensive to at first, but with some convincing you agreed.

Sixtynine is another one of his favorites. He never actually had to ask for it. You were sitting on his face, holding onto his stomach and screaming when you felt your orgasm approaching, he pushed your head just a little, you got the hint, and started working on his cock, which was painfully hard.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

It would usually depend on what kinda day it is and how you’re both feeling. But most of the time he is usually slow but at the same time rough. Where his thrusts are drawn out but also impactful.

Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Chris loves quickies. Bending you over the kitchen counter, a quick session in the afternoon on the couch when things got a little too heated while cuddling, in his trailor while he’s on a break, in the shower where he can make you dirty before cleaning you up. You made it.

But he wouldn’t prefer them over proper sex ever. Usually he likes to take his time with you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc)

He’s game to experiment to a certain extent. Even if he’s skeptical about something he’d keep an open mind and give it a shot for you.

S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

He’s a fit and motivated man so he can last for a long time and go for many rounds. It’s more likely for you to be tired and tapped out than for him.

If it was a long day on set, and if he’s a little exhausted then he may not be able to go more than once. But will make up for it when he can.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You both own a variety of butt plugs and vibrators, silky ties, blindfolds, handcuffs that Chris likes to use on you. You even bought a ball gag asking him to put it on you, which was the only time you ever used it because Chris liked to hear your voice and for you to call him daddy or say his name. You couldn’t do it with your mouth full.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Chris teases you a lot, but he would be a MASSIVE tease if he was a little more patient. He knows the effect he has on you. How you can’t take your eyes off him when he wears a t-shirt that’s a bit too tight and shows off his arms, how you can’t help but grab his butt sometimes and feel him up. When you bite your lip or look away when he catches you staring. If you get caught, be prepared because he will only do it more just to egg you on.

His touches a bit too light, he’d bring you to the edge and leave you just there. But fortunately it won’t last long because usually he’s the one who ends up getting riled up.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s loud alright. And he isn’t ashamed of it. He would never try to hide how good you make him feel, or miss an opportunity to call you a good girl and praise your gorgeous body. There will be lots of grunting and groaning and moaning and you revel in every second of it.

X = X-Ray (Let s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s pretty big. Much bigger than average. He looked pretty average when he wasn’t hard, you let that fool you into thinking you could take him pretty easily, he wasn’t that much bigger than anyone else you’d had sex with right?

Your eyes almost popped out of your head when you saw him hard, his dick hard and thick and a blush pink, two thick running on the sides of it.

He assured you that he would make it fit and that you had nothing to be worried about.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s pretty high. Higher than most people at least. You call him your horndog, but like in a nice way, because he always wants it. Even if you spent an entire night screaming his name and being used and stretched in ways that made your pussy as well as your body sore, he would still ask for more the very next morning. He’d respect you if you say no and back off immediately but he’s up for it whenever you want.

ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he has things on his mind, and if you fall asleep sooner than usual then he’d be up a while. But most of the times he falls asleep quickly after.

[ragingbookdragon]

The Secrets Best Left In The Dark

Batsis x Batfamily One-Shot

Word Count: 4K Warnings: Angst, Mentions of Death

Author's Note: I thrive on angst, so I have no apologies for y'all. Enjoy! -Thorne

They’d never claim their eldest sibling was cowardly. Far from it, she put her life on the line every day, in and out of the suit, defending those she cared for with a strength that they’d never seen in anyone. But while everyone in their family was typically hot-tempered and ready for a beatdown, she was calm and quiet. Always kind, and never letting anger, or any type of other emotion show besides pleasantness. For a while, they merely assumed she was the doormat type, simply on the basis that she never argued with their dad over anything—the whole “It’s my way or the highway” and his way was what she always went with—and that made her seem like an alien surrounded by humans because everyone argued with Bruce. That, and the fact that whenever she got into the rare fight during patrol, she’d never hit anybody. She was trained to take down multiple combatants and not once did she ever punch, hit, or kick a single person.

It was practically abnormal to be in the Batfamily and never lay a hand on a criminal, and yet that was what their sister did. Hardly ever did she use force to get what she wanted, always relying on stealth. Even on the minute cases when she got caught in an infiltration and had to fight her way out, she used electrified gauntlets to subdue them, rarely coming to blows. So, in a sense while everyone in her family was an aggressive fighter, she was a defensive—or perhaps a passive one—and that’s how she acted in life too. Always passive by nature, but always playing the peacekeeper between brothers and between fathers and sons.

They never knew why she was such a way, from the stories that Diana and Clark used to tell, back when it was just their sister and Bruce, she was a whirlwind that got into fights with anything that dared breathe in her direction—apparently, she made her angriest siblings look like mice. But no matter how many times they pried or even asked Bruce (apparently, he didn’t know what changed either—and this was coming from the World’s Greatest Detective), she never talked about it, simply saying that she grew out of always being angry and wanted to be calmer.

They suspected she held a dark secret—but no one could’ve prepared for just how dark and damaging it had been to her all these years.

***

In hindsight, taking a trip into Scarecrow’s lab was a bad idea, but when the offer had come up in the cave from her father, (Y/N) was happy to lend a hand, knowing that with his recent injury, he wouldn’t’ve been able to get out there during the night. It was also amazing, in the twenty-seven years she’d been alive, and in the past nineteen years that she’d been a vigilante, she’d never seen her father take a break—she could count on one hand how many times he had, and even then, he was still working in the cave, so technically it wasn’t a break.

But after tangling with Bane and Croc, he’d broken a few ribs and after repeated complaints and worries from her, his sons, and Alfred, Bruce finally agreed to let his children handle patrol. Which is why when the quadrants of the city were split up between Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian, it left (Y/N) to pick up specific places that Bruce wanted checked out—she warmly agreed to do so. And while she was confident in her abilities to do everything, he asked of her, she should’ve called for backup when it came to infiltrating Scarecrow’s hideout.

***

Another vent went off above her and she ducked, eyes narrowing as she watched the orange fog, appearing blue through her detective mode, drift out. She would’ve sprayed it, but she’d used up all of her explosive gel covering the others. Now she simply had to avoid them and hope that her gas mask filtered properly—so far, it was. A shrill laugh echoed through the speakers above her, and shivers went down her spine.

Anytime now, Batgirl. You will fall too.

She frowned. “I’m not afraid of you, Doctor Crane.” Ducking under another pipe, she added, “I can help you if you’ll let me.”

Help me? Help…ME? You can’t even help YOURSELF!

Scarecrow had always been a talker, much like the majority of the villains they faced, and he was looking for a rise. She came to the end of the corridor where the pipes met a brick wall and she sighed, searching for a way through. A vent covered the top right corner and she pulled out the grapple gun, pointing it at the grate. She pressed the trigger and it latched onto the metal bars; grasping the cord, she yanked as hard as she could, stepping backwards when it fell, hitting the ground with a clang.

(Y/N) heaved herself up into the vent and crawled on her hands and knees, as quietly as she could, twisting and turning through the maze of confined metal. When she came to the end, another grate covered the exit and she pressed her foot against it, pushing until the bolts popped loose and she could slip out.

From the looks of it, if the advanced chemistry equipment were any help, she’d ended up in Scarecrow’s lab. He wasn’t in sight, but that gave her time to look around and see if he’d changed any formulas recently. She raised her wrist and tapped at the blue screen, taking a moment to run a program. When it beeped, (Y/N) sighed in relief and reached up, pulling the gas mask off—the air was clean.

She set the mask down on the counter and put a finger to her ear. “Batman, do you read me?” His voice came through a moment later.

“I read you Batgirl. Loud and clear.”

“I’m in Doctor Crane’s lab,” she said, poking around at the notes he’d scrawled out. “I don’t see anything new. The formulas all look the same.”

“Compounds?”

She frowned and read. “Honestly, it’s a bit hard to decipher. His handwriting is a lot like Red’s when he’s had one too many energy drinks.” A quiet huff came from over the line, telling her that he was amused. “I’ll send you pictures of it and see if you can.” (Y/N) snapped a few photos. “Get ‘em?”

“Just now,” he replied, and she walked over to one of the lit Bunsen burners.

“Looks like he’s got something brewing right now though,” (Y/N) leaned over and peered into it, careful to avoid any steam that was rising.

“Recognize it?”

She paused. “It’s not the usual stuff he’s got. It looks almost golden and—”

All at once the dish exploded and she had just enough time to cover her face from the shattering glass, letting out a gasp as she recoiled.

“Batgirl, what happened?”

(Y/N) coughed and waved a hand, and when her hand appeared double, she breathed out in shock. “Oh no,” she whispered.

“Batgirl, report.” She hurried to the exit of the lab as Scarecrow’s cackle sounded overhead.

“I’ve been hit with a blast of toxin.” Pulling open the door, she fumbled with her utility belt then let out a sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

(Y/N) shook her head and weaved down the corridors, the faster she got to her bike, the faster she could get back to the cave.

“I don’t have any anti-toxin on me.” She pushed against the doors and stumbled out into the cold and rainy night. Her mind was already beginning to fog over as she climbed onto her bike, and she barely had enough focus to keep it steady while she programmed it to auto-drive.

“I’m sending one of the boys to you.”

She grunted and lifted her foot as the bike revved and shot forward. “Don’t. I’ve already programmed the bike to the cave’s coordinates. I’ll be back in less than fifteen minutes.”

“You won’t make it that long.”

(Y/N) groaned as the lights began to flash around her and she saw faces and images passing her. “I just have to…focus.”

Horns blared around her as the bike weaved in and out of cars and she held onto the frame with all the strength she had. His voice started echoing in her ears and she shut her eyes, trying to block it out.

You could’ve saved me.

Another groan escaped her, and she heard, “(Y/N), talk to me.”

She shook her head. “I can’t—I have to—focus now.” But with every passing second, his voice got louder and more insistent.

You let me die. You watched me die.

(Y/N)’s eyes filled with tears and they dripped down her cheeks. I tried to save you. she thought, hoping it would suffice, but she knew it wouldn’t. I tried so hard to. The last thing she remembered was turning onto the street that led to the cave.

***

Bruce was already pushing away from the Batcomputer when the boys arrived back at the cave, Dick and Damian from the Batmobile, and Tim and Jason from their own rides. Knowing that their father wasn’t one to sit around, it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to be moving, but with how quick and worried his movements seemed, they knew something was wrong.

Dick pulled the cowl away from his face and asked, “B? What’s wrong?”

Bruce didn’t respond at first, hurrying towards the medical station they had. “Your sister was dosed with fear toxin and she doesn’t have anti-toxin to counteract it.”

Jason, who’d already taken his hood off, was already in the process of putting it back on. “Let one of us take it to her.”

Their father shook his head, rummaging for an antidote. “She’s coming back here.”

“Here?” Tim repeated, striding over. “Fear toxin works within seconds on normal people, minutes for us.” He looked at his brothers. “She won’t have enough time to get back here and not be under the effects.”

Bruce nodded, focusing as he poured a vial of glowing green liquid into the needle gun. “I know.” He looked at Tim. “That’s why I’m getting it ready for her.”

“Father, can we do anything?” Damian questioned, pulling away the domino mask from his eyes.

“Get ready to be on the defensive if she’s offensive,” he replied. “I don’t think she’ll hit anybody, but you never know.”

“She can’t hit that hard. (Y/N) only weighs—” Jason cut off as the rev of an engine cut though the air and they turned to see their eldest sister coming in on a sleek black motorcycle, that was shaking badly.

“(Y/N)!” Dick yelled and the bike suddenly shifted and toppled sideways, throwing her from it. It slid across the cave floor in a hail of sparks, metal, and plastic flying in every direction as (Y/N) rolled too.

They started running towards her, hoping to stop her when her back collided with one of the glass cases that held their suits, and she went limp.

Bruce reached her first, and knelt down, setting the antidote aside to check her first. The way she hit the case and with how hard, it was possible that she could be seriously injured—or worse.

“(Y/N)!” he called, hands coming to pull her away from the case. She whimpered and he let out a sigh—she was still alive. “(Y/N), can you hear me?” he inquired, reaching up to pull the cowl from her face.

Her brothers crowded behind him and they all stared in horror as tears streamed down her cheeks, and blood out of her nose.

“I’m sorry,” she bawled. “I tried to save you.” Bruce looked at her then grabbed the needle gun, bringing it up to her neck.

“Hang on, (Y/N). You’re gonna be okay.”

She grabbed his hand and cried, “I held on as long as I could, but my grip was slipping. I’m sorry I couldn’t hold onto you. I’m sorry I let you go. I let you die. I’m sor—” her sobs cut her off as she curled in on herself, and as if finally snapping out of a trance, Bruce pulled his hand from her grip and pulled the trigger of the gun.

(Y/N) jerked as the needle entered her skin and they watched the neon green liquid in the vial emptied. She fell into whimpers and mumbles of “I’m sorry” before her eyes rolled back and she collapsed in Bruce’s arms.

He stared at her for a second, feeling numb at his daughter’s admissions. Whatever her fear had been, it’d been there a long time, and he had no idea what it was about. Sighing heavily, he drew his eyes to his sons, to Jason.

“Will you take (Y/N) to her bedroom while I get an IV ready?”

Jason nodded and bent down, picking up his unconscious sister. He tucked her head in the crook of his neck and looked at Dick. “Get the doors, yeah?” Dick nodded and hurried ahead of him, while Tim and Damian followed in suit.

Bruce was left alone in a matter of moments, and all he could do was rise to his feet and ready the medical supplies, all the while, thinking back on every night that (Y/N) had gone on patrol in the last nineteen years—and the last time someone died in front of her.

***

Her head felt like an overripe melon ready to burst, and that first moment of cracking her eyes open was the biggest mistake since she told her dad what ‘Thot’ meant. The second she opened them, she shut them once more, inhaling deeply through her nose as the fog started to clear from her mind.

“Queenie, hey, you’re awake,” Jason murmured, and she nodded, blinking a few times before his face came into focus, Dick appearing Tim appearing behind him.

“Go get dad,” Dick said to someone, and she figured it was Damian since neither Jason nor Tim moved.

(Y/N) started shifting, trying to sit up when Dick put his hand on her shoulder, gentle, but firm as he said, “Don’t try to move, Barbie.”

“Where’s dad?” she asked, craning her neck to see.

“Damian’s going to get him sis,” Tim answered, smoothing out the blanket covering her. “Just relax. You took a beating when you came into the cave.”

“I did?” she questioned, eyes widening in shock when they nodded, faces pinched with worry.

The ceiling light turned on just bright enough to give sight and they looked at Bruce who was coming in, Damian following.

“(Y/N),” Dick moved, letting Bruce take his spot, and he took her hand in his, running his thumb over the back of her hand. “You had us all worried.”

She frowned and exhaled heavily. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” She gazed between them, and something in their eyes made an emotion she couldn’t describe rise in her chest.

“Why are you all looking at me like that?” (Y/N) met Bruce’s eyes. “What happened?” Before he could answer, she gasped and looked at her brothers. “I didn’t hurt anyone, did I?”

A chorus of hurried, “No’s!” rang out and she sighed in relief, reclining back on the pillows.

“Oh, thank goodness.” She went silent, then started, “But…something did happen, didn’t it?”

Her brothers glanced between themselves then they looked at Bruce who sighed and squeezed her hand, drawing her attention to him.

“What?” she asked and when he said nothing, she repeated, “Dad, what?”

His steel blue eyes met hers and he murmured, “You were apologizing for…letting someone die.”

Whatever had flashed in her eyes that told them she knew exactly what they were talking about was shocking enough because Jason said, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna, Queenie.”

(Y/N) fell silent for a full minute and when she spoke again, her voice was quiet and the look in her eyes was far away. “Before Dick came to the manor it was just you and I patrolling Gotham. At eight, I wasn’t really let out of your sight, but one night I had wandered off while you were dealing with Two-Face.” She looked at Bruce. “I found an injured GCPD officer on a bridge. He had been tailing Killer Croc.”

She glanced at Tim. “His name was Grady Richards.”

Tim’s eyes fell to the tablet in his hands, and he tapped at the screen for a few moments, then read, “Hero cop Grady Richards honored after dying in line of duty. He fell off a broken bridge on Miagani Island.”

Bruce’s eyes found hers again. “He didn’t fall, did he?”

(Y/N) felt tears grow in her vision and she shook her head. “No…no he didn’t.” Inhaling deeply, she recounted, “Croc came back and there was no way either of us could’ve taken him, so we ran. And Croc chased us.” She shut her eyes, remembering the night.

***

Fear pulsed through her veins as she sprinted as far away from the overgrown crocodile as she could. The GCPD officer was ahead of her, but he stopped and spun around to see her.

“Hurry!” he yelled, pointing back to the car. “Get to the cruiser!”

She spared a glance over her shoulder, eyes going wide when she saw Killer Croc picking up one of the concrete guards.

“Duck!” was all she heard, and she hit the ground, watching as if in slow motion as it flew overhead, then smashed into the top of the cop’s car, glass and metal shattering under the pressure.

Someone grabbed her by the back of her suit and hauled her up, slinging her behind them, and the back of the GCPD officer’s uniform came into view.

“Start running, Batgirl! And don’t stop!” he yelled, and when he has his sidearm drawn, he looked down at her. “You’ve got as much time as I have bullets.” He turned, opening fire, and she took a moment to stare before scrambling to her feet to start running.

A cry of pain sounded behind her, and against her better judgement, she turned and looked, gaping as Croc’s arm sent the officer flying. He hit the guardrail and collapsed against it and her feet were moving before she could stop them.

The first punch went to the back of Croc’s knee and she knew it had to have hurt her more than it did him because he didn’t even flinch. But when those glowing yellow eyes peered down at her, she knew she was in trouble.

“Looks like I’ve got an appetizer for the night!” he laughed and reached for her, but she ducked and rolled out of his way, standing in front of the wounded GCPD officer, who weakly looked up at her.

“What are you—doing? I told you…to run.”

She couldn’t beat Killer Croc, and she knew it, but she shook her head and stared down the villain before her.

Croc’s attacks were wide and though she was small, she was pushed to her limit rolling and dodging every one. After a few moments, she was practically dead on her feet, huffing as her lungs begged for air. She kept wiping away the rain that splattered against her mask and on a particularly unlucky step, she found herself slipping.

And it was all the opening that Croc needed because he swiped at her and she flew backwards into the officer who’d managed to stand, just barely. Colliding with him tipped his balance and they went over the guardrail, barreling towards the ground.

She reached out as fast as she could and grabbed hold of the metal beam that ran the length of the under bridge, crying out in pain as it pulled the joints and bones. Her other hand gripped the officer’s and she held on tight. Croc leaned over the bridge, apparently not seeing them because his footsteps went off in the opposite direction, leaving them in silence.

Time passed and she wasn’t sure how long, but both her arms were getting tired, and she looked down at the officer.

“Sir?” she called, and he looked up at her. “You have to climb. I’m starting to lose grip.”

He tried to reach up but let out a cry and grabbed his side with his free hand. Pulling his hand away, she saw the crimson dilute with rainwater.

The hand that held the ledge began to cramp and she started hyperventilating. “Please, you need to hurry! I can’t hold on much longer!” Again, he tried, and she looked down at him as her fingers began to shake.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered and let go of his hand, and the last thing she saw until he hit the ground was the sight of his eyes, wide with fear and pleading.

***

“I watched his head explode when he hit the ground,” she said, tears pouring down her cheeks as she stared out the window, watching the rain hit against the glass. “I had to make a choice. Either both of us died or one of us lived.” (Y/N) looked at Bruce. “And I chose my life over his.”

No one could believe their ears at the story she’d told, but suddenly, the self-sacrificing attitude their sister had, the way she’d bend over backwards for anyone, made perfect sense—she did it out of atonement, for a wrong she carried since she was eight years old.

“I pulled myself back up onto the bridge and I ran as far as I could and didn’t look back,” she said. “I kept my mouth shut when the paper ran his story and never told anyone about it.”

(Y/N)’s breath shuddered. “I just pushed it down as far inside me as I could and tried to forget about it.” Her eyes met Bruce and she tearfully stated, “But every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face.”

He leaned forward and took her hand. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked softly, dark brows furrowed in hurt.

She swallowed thickly and shook her head as she replied, “I killed someone that night. I was terrified about what you would’ve said. About what you would’ve done.” He gazed at her and (Y/N) whispered, “I’m sorry, dad.”

Bruce dropped her gaze and took a deep breath before murmuring, “It was just an accident, (Y/N).”

“I let go of—”

“I would’ve been more upset having to bury my daughter,” he interrupted, and she fell silent, gaping at him. He searched her face and reached up, placing a hand on her cheek. “I understand why you kept this secret, but you should’ve come to me, (Y/N).” Shaking his head, he added, “You didn’t deserve to be buried under this for nineteen years.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, lowering her head and Bruce shook his head in response.

“No, I’m sorry.” When she met his eye, he continued, “I’m sorry I didn’t know you were carrying this. Then and now.”

(Y/N) swallowed and rested back against the bed. “I send his widow money on the anniversary of his death. I slip it into the pension she’s given.” She let out a sigh. “It’s the only way I’ve found that I could sleep at night.”

Her eyes drifted to the window and Bruce placed a kiss to her forehead. “Get some sleep, sweetheart.” She nodded and before he left, he said, “And when you feel up for it, we’ll see about setting up a fund in his name.”

She wished it didn’t make her as emotional as it did, but silent tears dripped down her cheeks as the door closed, leaving her and her brothers alone. They gathered on her bed, leaning close to offer their support, and she was thankful for them doing so. And for the first time in nineteen years, when (Y/N) closed her eyes, she didn’t see Grady Richards’ face.

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

A Heartbeat Away | Damian Wayne

✦ pairing — older!Damian Wayne x gender neutral!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 2.7k

✦ based off the song I Should’ve Kissed You by One Direction

✦ summary — Damian is haunted by the fact that he only said good night when he should have kissed you.

✦ warnings — light angst, mentions of pregnancy (a minor character is pregnant), mentions of food and beverages, fluff.

✦ author's note i — randomly remembered my obsession with this song and couldn’t get it out of my head.

✦ author's note ii — the parts in italics are flashbacks.

════════════════════════

Ever since he started living with Jason, Damian found himself straying away from the things that held him back.

His life would never be normal, but in hindsight, he could admit things weren’t as bad.

The fallout with his father came crashing down in the worst moment possible — Dick was dead and his relationship with Tim wasn’t the best.

As little as he knew Jason, he was sure he could trust him so he asked for his help instead of somebody else’s.

And Jason didn’t say no. Whether he had the heart to do it or not was irrelevant because he still took Damian in and helped him find a job.

He hated said job.

‘It’s a job,’ you had told him, ‘you’re not supposed to like it.’

You.

Damian rarely stopped thinking about you. Calling it infatuation felt like an understatement, and yet he couldn’t find a better word to describe the whirlwind of emotions you gave him.

He still remembered the day he met you for the first time.

Jason paced in the living room, perking up every time he heard a noise outside the apartment.

You’re driving me insane,” Damian said from the small dining table.

”Roy’s late.”

”Why are you surprised?”

Jason glared at him.

Both of them heard somebody stand on the other side of the door. Their steps didn’t sound like Roy’s.

Pulling the door open, Jason was ready to snap at whoever had knocked.

“You ordered something and gave my apartment number instead of yours. Again.”

Damian didn’t recognize the voice so he slanted his body to the side to see who it was. He couldn’t stop staring.

”I’ll make it up to you.”

”Jay,” you sighed. “I’ve told you before, you just need to tell me beforehand if you don’t want things to arrive to your apartment. My roommate could have opened it.”

Damian chuckled, a single elbow resting on the table.

Jason craned his neck. “You think this is funny?”

”I think you’re a moron.”

”Shut up and come meet our neighbor.”

Damian didn’t have to be told twice. He stood up with an eagerness he hadn’t felt since Jason texted him to let him know he had found the materials so he could build a suit and go back to patrol.

”This is my brother Damian.” Jason turned around to place the package under the table next to the door.

He knew you’d either seen him before or heard about him the moment his eyes landed on you. People always had a visceral reaction when they met him, some found him attractive, others attempted to ask for favors, and some recoiled in fear.

But you didn’t. You held his gaze and stood in the same spot you had been since you knocked on the door.

And whether it had been in a newspaper or a gossip forum, he was glad you knew something about him. There was something about the way you stared at him that screamed for him to trust you. Wishful thinking, perhaps.

“Nice to meet you,” you politely said, smiling at him.

Stunned by the fact that you hadn’t mocked him, and now assuming it wasn’t wishful thinking after all, he tilted his head. Most people did mock now that he wasn’t under his father’s wing.

Still, he said, “Likewise.”

Your smile became warmer. “I live three doors down the hallway in case you need anything.”

He felt a pang in his chest at the gesture. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

Weird sensations in his chest were normal when he was around you. Befriending you was easier than he’d ever admit and talking to you became the highlight of his day.

The pangs in his chest turned into a fluttering sensation in a heartbeat. You’d make him feel breathless when you did the smallest things — when you smiled at him, when you complained about other neighbors with him, when you asked about his day.

He felt special. For once in his life for being the closest he had ever been to resemble a normal person.

And he also remembered, quite painfully, that night he let you walk away without mustering the courage to tell you —or show you— the way you made him feel.

The deserted hallway was yet another proof of how easy it was to lose track of time around you.

Damian hadn’t expected to get back home past midnight or to skip patrol, but 1:00 AM turned into 2:00 and he couldn’t part from you no matter how many times he tried to remind himself to do it.

He hadn’t even expected to enjoy the state fair as an adult, yet he couldn’t remember a time he had more fun than that evening.

You gazed up at him, waiting for him to either do or say something. Anything other than stare at you in the middle of the hallway.

You had already thanked him for making you company, there was no way you’d say anything. And he froze.

“Good night,” he sputtered.

Your brow twitched. “Night.”

He watched you unlock your door and get inside your apartment with a heavy heart.

You moved out a couple months ago and he hadn’t seen you since then. The texts the two of you exchanged were sporadic and they bordered in formal.

He should have kissed you, he was aware of that. And to make matters worse, Jason chewed him out when he found out.

He still looked for you every morning he left the apartment as though you’d remember you had forgotten something. That you had forgotten him.

Jon said it was for the best, that somebody as sweet as you didn’t deserve to carry with his baggage.

Damian knew his best friend to be right, but how could he let go of you that easily when you made him see he was more than his mistakes and regrets?

He didn’t need anybody to carry him, he could drag himself anywhere if needed.

He simply hated the hole in the pit of his stomach every time he entertained the possibility of having to see you one day with somebody else because he wasn’t brave enough to say what he needed to let out.

The idea of being out of time was killing him slowly, so naturally, he’d sought a quick death.

════════════════════════

You gasped upon opening the door. You weren’t expecting anybody to be outside — much less Damian Wayne.

“Oh!”

“Hi,” he softly greeted.

You blinked rapidly. “Did you need anything?”

“I wanted to... Are you on your way out?”

“I’m just dropping this off for my mom.” You momentarily lifted the bags you were carrying in one hand. “She lives nearby.”

He spared a look to the reusable bags in your grasp. “Is she sick?”

“Pregnant,” you explained, playing with your keys. “It’s high risk due to her age so we take as much care of her as we can.”

Damian walked backward, allowing you to come out of the apartment and lock the door.

As you pushed the door to make sure it was locked, he asked, “Would you care for some company?”

Turning around, you gave him a small smile. “That would be lovely.”

He reached over. “Let me help.”

“They’re not heavy.”

“I insist.”

”Okay.” You handed him the bags and took the initiative to lead the way.

He reached your side immediately.

Not knowing what else to do, aware you’d let something slip if you didn’t find something, you made small talk. “How’s Jason?”

“As annoying as always.”

You still remembered when he meant those words, when he complained about Jason and how often they butted heads. His tone was different now, lighter, almost playful.

“Good to know some things never change.”

You walked the streets with an ease you hadn’t been able to in years. Growing up in that neighborhood meant which streets to avoid, and sadly, most of them were unsafe.

There were many things you could have asked or said, perhaps apologize for being cold while texting.

You were in your right to be cold and you could have just not answered, but you wanted to keep contact even though you were hurt.

Damian was great company. It was a shame you misread the entire situation and couldn’t go back to chat with him like before.

It took you a few attempts to get them to talk comfortably, but once he was able to, he didn’t look back. He even gossiped with you.

Stopping in front of the house, you looked around to make sure your mom had the windows open. Once sure, you walked up the front steps.

You withdrew a single key from your back pocket and extended your other hand so Damian would give you the bags.

The floors were recently mopped which meant your aunt had visited that day.

“It’s me,” you yelled so your mom wouldn’t get up. It was her time to be watching TV in the living room.

Carrying the bags towards the kitchen, you caught the jingle from a commercial.

You filled a glass with water and added a couple of ice cubes.

Your mom was comfortably sat on a recliner, feet up and remote control on her thigh. “Hurry back before it gets dark.”

“Don’t worry, a friend of mine walked me here.” You handed her the glass. “Do you need anything else?”

She ignored your question as she took the glass. “Who is it?”

“You don’t know him.”

“Him?” She lifted an eyebrow.

You hadn’t mentioned a guy to her in almost two years now, her surprise was understandable. “Not now.”

“Oh, so it is like that?”

Maybe it was and maybe that was the issue. She wouldn’t blame you if she knew him like you did, if she heard him laugh or saw him change his demeanor to accommodate to somebody else’s sensibilities.

You didn’t think you’d witness anything remotely close to that when you met him for the first time, but you learned really quickly that Damian was full of surprises.

“I’ll call in the morning in case you need something. I’m working ’til 3:00 PM tomorrow.”

“It’s okay.” She took a sip of water. “Did you bring anything sweet?”

“Homemade muffins and a few chocolate bars. Do you want one now?”

She shook her head. “I’ll wait after dinner.”

You kissed her cheek. “Call me, please.”

“Go, go.” She ushered you to go with a gesture of her hand. “Don’t make your friend wait.”

It was your time to ignore her comment.

Damian was sat on the front steps when you came out, looking up at the darkening sky.

“Is everything alright?” you asked in a whisper as to not scare him.

“No.” He shook his head and stood up. “I mean, yes. How’s your mother?”

“She’s good. Having fun watching reality TV.”

Damian squinted. “Is reality TV really that entertaining?”

“It’s mindless stuff, but it’s fun sometimes. You get to judge other people’s lives without feeling remorse because it’s most likely fake.”

The walk back was way shorter and you didn’t want to part. It was time to swallow your pride and your feelings for him.

He didn’t part ways with you at the building entrance. He walked beside you until you reached the elevator — Damian extended his arm to keep the doors open and allowed you to get in first. He followed suit.

You turned the lights on with Damian on your tail. He did wait for you to invite him in, but you were sure both of you knew there was no way you wouldn’t.

“I made muffins. Do you want one?”

Damian nodded.

You guided him to the dining table where a trippy vase in pastel colors rested with flowers.

He looked around the apartment as he walked towards the table. As he sat down, he fixed his eyes on the vase.

“Green or black?”

“Mmh?”

“Your tea.”

You could swear you saw him smile to himself.

“Black.” He placed his cellphone on the table. “You still have that thing,” he said, referring to the trippy vase.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

He huffed a laugh. “Jason said it was ugly.”

“Jason doesn’t have the best taste in the world,” you lightheartedly retorted.

The vase was precious to you, a gift from Damian who spooked you in the middle of a rainy night and made you knock your favorite vase.

You set a plate in front of him and placed the muffin there. “Your tea’s almost ready.”

“No roommate this time?”

“Nope. I miss Lou, but I don’t miss having a roommate that much.”

“I thought the move was temporary just so you could be close to your mother...”

“It is, but there’s still a long way to go. The baby should be here next month and she’ll need help around the house.” You disappeared for a moment as you looked for a mug.

Having found one, you dropped the teabag and poured the boiling water in.

“Sugar.” You put the sugar bowl down just in front of the mug. Feeling his eyes on the side of your face, you gazed at him. “It’s brown, don’t worry.”

He relaxed and uncovered the sugar bowl. “Is the father of your mother’s child around?”

“Yeah.” You sat down on the chair closest to his. “She remarried last year and her husband tries to help, but you know, work gets in the way.”

“Tell me if I can help with anything.”

“Don’t worry, you have enough things to juggle with already.”

“What’s one more? At least let me make you company or walk you home. These streets are dangerous.”

You softly nodded. From the day you met him you knew you would never be able to tell him no — and having his company after a long day sounded nice.

“So...”

“So,” you encouraged him to go on.

“Are you seeing anybody?”

“No. I thought I was a little while ago, but...” You hoped he’d understand what you were getting at. “I guess something got lost in translation.”

“Did it? Or was he too much of a coward to show the way he felt?”

“Don’t.” You hated hearing him talk like that about himself.

“You don’t know how much I regret not kissing you that night. I—“ He sighed, twisting his mouth as he frowned. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“At least now I know you did think about doing it.”

“I did. Many times throughout the night.” He turned to the side to fully look at you. “I wanted to find the perfect moment and became overwhelmed. Sounds like a bad excuse, but I swear it’s the truth.”

“I believe you.”

Damian scooted closer and reached over to place his hand on your face. Softly, he caressed your cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

You leaned onto his touch, tilting your head. “Me too. Sorry for being such an ass.”

“It’s fine. I would have reacted similarly.”

“Similarly or worse?”

“Worse.”

You laughed, making him smile.

“May I?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Damian leaned in, placing his free hand on the back of your chair as his nose brushed yours.

His lips softly connected with yours, but the slow pace didn’t last. The two of you had wasted too much time, thrown away too many opportunities to be this close —or closer— and patience wasn’t a virtue Damian possessed.

The chair was now balancing itself in two legs, making you interrupt the kiss with a squeal.

Damian then made you stand up and wrapped his arms around your waist. His lips were immediately back on yours.

Your hands went up to rest on his biceps as he kissed you again. His arms tightened around you as he deepened the kiss and you melted.

You melted into the kiss, onto his warmth, due to the fact that he wanted this as much as you did.

Kissing him had become a mere fantasy for you, and there he was, not only making it a reality but exceeding your expectations.

Grabbing him by the neck, you broke the kiss in search of air. His breath was barely ragged and you remembered he told you he could hold it in for a long time.

You needed him to teach you just to be able to kiss him for longer.

“That was nice,” you said, still breathless.

“Yeah, really nice. We should do it more often.”

“Are you asking me out?”

“I’m telling you I want you to be mine.”

All in or nothing, of course. Jason had warned you that Damian didn’t take things lightly.

But you were okay with that.

[ptersparkers]

the art of ending things (8)

summary: upon realizing you lack skills in the bedroom when a touron asks you out on a date, you turn to jj, a self-proclaimed sexual deviant, for help.

warnings: smut, folks. and typos, probably. 

notes: yes, i am getting a little emotional. this series is my child and i feel like i’m sending it off to college. i’m utterly grateful that all of you were willing to wait weeks for chapter updates and i’m so happy that this little idea that i had turned into something i’m proud of and something i finished. 

as always, co-authored and co-written with @storiesbymads​. i love her and this story (among other things) brought us closer as friends and i think i love this story more for this reason than anything else. 

You thought it was ironic how the sun was shining brightly in your bedroom when you felt anything but happy.

On the night before you woke, Sarah took the liberty to wipe your makeup off with a washcloth as Kiara assisted you in changing into sleep shorts and a sweater. The brunette sat on your bed with you tucked in her arms as you buried your head to avoid been seen by the girls, but Sarah prompted you to look at her so she could clean your tear-stained cheeks.

You couldn’t remember much of last night when you woke up. When your eyes saw the white paint of your ceiling, you looked beside you at Kiara and Sarah laying on either side of you. Kiara was in a peacefully slumber facing the window while Sarah was on your left, her cheeks squished ungracefully against the side of your arm, allowing you a brief moment of amusement before remembering your heartache.

“Anyone hungry?” you asked, your voice croaking. You cleared your throat when Sarah and Kiara said yes, silently moving to your bathroom to brush your teeth and gave the two girls spare toothbrushes to do the same. 

The downstairs living room was a quiet fortress as you recalled your parents being on the mainland until later that evening. Sarah took the liberty to pour each of you a glass of orange juice while Kiara, knowing you didn’t have the energy to make breakfast, pulled out eggs and bacon, and began to work effortlessly as you sat on the high chairs beside the kitchen island. You couldn’t think. Recalling the last thing you remembered at the Boneyard hurt more than you cared to admit and you couldn’t think about the look on JJ’s face when he said he wanted nothing to do with you without feeling like you were going to cry. You figured you could produce enough tears to wipe out the entirety of the Outer Banks by the end of the day with how much you were trying to hold back. The aching headache you had because of how hard you cried last night rang through your head and you winced when the bacon hit the sizzling pan. “Do you want to talk about it?” Kiara asked as she plated the eggs and bacon. “I feel like an idiot,” you said. “C’mon,” Sarah said, sitting next to you as Kiara stood in front of you. “JJ’s the idiot.” “Maybe we’re both idiots.”

“Don’t say that,” Kiara replied. “We all thought JJ was kind of into you until that stunt he pulled last night.” “No,” you said, putting your head in between your hands. You inhaled heavily before letting out a gargantuan sigh. “We’re both idiots. We made this stupid proposition a few weeks ago and I can’t help but feel like I messed up.” “What proposition?” Kiara asked. You shut your eyes and ran your hands over your face “We’ve been, uh, fooling around?” Sarah’s eyes widened. “You mean that? While you were with Trent?” “I mean,” you began, “it’s complicated. Trent and I were never a ‘thing’ if I’m being honest. JJ was nice enough to, um, teach me things.” “Teach you things?” Kiara asked. “What do you…” Her eyes widened. “Oh.” “It’s bad,” you said. “I didn’t think anything would happen because we swore that we wouldn’t let it affect our friendship.” “But part of you had to know it would, right?” Sarah asked. You made a thin line with your lips as you moved the food around with your fork. “I know, I know,” you mumbled. “JJ never said anything and I thought this was going to be over once Trent and I had sex.” “Did you?” You shook your head. “No,” you replied. “I knew I liked JJ when I couldn’t go through with it. I just can’t help but feel like he felt the same way but when I talked to him last night, he said he wanted me to stop caring about our friendship and that he’d do the same.” Kiara and Sarah shared a knowing look while your gaze was fixed itself onto the plate in front of you. Sarah had spoken to John B. about JJ’s seemingly unrequited feelings and Kiara had her own thoughts about how he felt about you. Both girls, observant in their own right, never wanted to say anything for the sake of your relationship with Trent, but now both of them wished they had. “I don’t need either of you to say it, okay? With hindsight, I should’ve known something bad was going to happen.” “We’re here to be your friends,” Sarah reassured. “Neither of us are judging you.” “Thanks,” you muttered. “I can’t help feel like the dumbest person in the world because everything about this is cliche.” “But you didn’t know what was going to happen,” Kiara reasoned. “Kie--” “Don’t ‘Kie’ me,” she said, waving her fork at you. “You asked JJ for help and he agreed. Maybe what happened between the two of you was unconventional but you two are our friends and I don’t think either of you would intentionally hurt the other.” “I can’t stop thinking about how unfair it was to ask him to help me be more confident for Trent,” you scoffed. “First of all, I don’t ever need to explain myself to men, so I don’t know why I felt a temporary urge to prove myself in the bedroom.” You paused to collect your thoughts. “Secondly?” “If JJ did feel anything for me, I put him in a tough situation because at the end of the day, we both knew I would be going back to Trent with the lessons JJ taught me.” “I can’t say I’ve ever had that happen before,” Sarah said with a frown. You bumped your shoulder with hers. “It’s okay. I think I just want someone to listen because I can’t even think about fixing things with him right now. I just feel like I ruined our friendship by asking him to help me out, you know, sexually.” “Listen,” Kiara said, your attention now on her. “Maybe both of you made mistakes, but you’re young. You have so much more to life than a misunderstanding and if JJ really cares about you, then he’ll want to hear what you have to say and whatever you wanted to tell him last night.” “Yeah,” Sarah piped. “You’ve been friends with JJ since birth and you know how he works. I don’t think he’d throw away all those years of friendship on a misunderstanding, especially considering he was tipsy.” “I don’t know,” you groaned. You pushed your plate, which was half eaten, away from you and slouched with your arms crossed over your chest. “I wanted to be an adult about this and set boundaries with him, you know? But I never thought we had to make a no strings attached’ rule because both of us knew what was going on between us wasn’t a booty call.” “He hasn’t been flirting with anyone either,” Kiara said. “Not since you two started, well, what should we call it?” “I guess we were hooking up,” you replied. “That feels weird to say.” The girls in front of you laughed. “Maybe,” said Sarah. “I never even thought about entertaining the idea that JJ and I might end up together until I took Trent around The Cut because he looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. That’s when I really knew all of my feelings that I projected onto Trent were for JJ.” “Love works in mysterious ways,” Sarah said, waving her fork for the dramatics. “You cheesy shit,” Kiara said, sticking her tongue at the blonde. You cracked a smile and both girls felt their heart swell at making you do so in a time when you felt like you couldn’t. “Well, let’s not think about it today,” Sarah suggested. “I know Kie doesn’t have a shift today and I’m free. We could order take out and maybe have a movie marathon? We could go to the beach if you’re feeling up to it?” “Sarah, does your dad still have that huge tent he bought when you were little?” “In the back of my garage.” “And Kie, remember when we bought those lights that we strung around the poles in my backyard and that mini projector we begged your dad to buy?” Kiara clapped. “I already know where you’re going with this.” She pointed at Sarah. “You drive with Sarah and help her get the tent. I’ll grab my lights and we can meet at the supermarket to buy some snacks?” “Sounds like a plan!” Sarah exclaimed. Temporarily, you forgot about the boy who filled your void before making it feel empty again. JJ, on the other hand, woke up an hour before Pope and John B. in the spare bedroom at the Chateau. His plan for the night before had been to drink until he couldn’t feel his emotions anymore, but he’d wound up unsuccessful after having had two cups of beer and a weak shot of expensive, watered down vodka a Kook had brought to the Boneyard. He recalled everything that happened. The girl he sat beside when you came up to him parted ways once she realized things were complicated and that JJ hadn’t made an effort to engage in conversation with anyone else. He opted to head back to the Chateau to sleep it off in hopes of waking up to a different reality. But, when he awoke with the same clothes he wore last night and a few red solo cups on the floor, he knew he had to face the music. JJ wasn’t sure why he was so angry with you. He knew he was annoyed whenever you spoke about Trent, that was for sure, but he knew he didn’t let you explain what you wanted to say before he sent you away. He stared at the ceiling fan above, watching it pathetically spin on the lowest setting before forcing himself to sit upright, a groan forcing its way up his throat as he kicked the covers off his body. His legs dangled on the side of the bed,his head in between his hands, trying to comprehend the mild headache he felt; he wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol or his confusing feelings. When he walked out, the first thing he noticed was how the sunny morning was a stark contrast to his despaired feelings and he couldn’t help but wish the sky was as grey as it was when there was about to be a big rain pour. The outside was quiet with the exception of a few birds chirping and a low hum of the grass near John B’s front porch. JJ poured himself a cup of water and ate a slice of whole wheat bread untoasted, not bothering to look in his fridge for something more fulfilling as he pondered whether to return home or to the spare bedroom. John B. was the first to arrive into the kitchen, interrupting JJ’s thoughts. “You’re up early,” he said, yawning. “But you also went to bed early, I guess.” “Wasn’t in the party mood,” JJ’s mumble was muffled by the bread. “You’re gonna choke if you keep eating with your mouth full.” “Oh yeah? Watch me.” John B. laughed at JJ’s joke and rubbed his eyes, making himself a cup of coffee using the machine and coffee beans Sarah gave him. JJ wanted to ask for a cup but felt like it was too much. “Want a cup?” John B. asked nonchalantly as he grabbed the bag from the pantry. “Yeah,” JJ coughed, grateful. “Thanks.” “No problem,” John B. replied, waving the blond off. “Sarah got me enough to last for two months. I think she’s trying to get me to refine my coffee palette.” “Your what?” “Her words, not mine.” A comfortable silence fell over the two boys before John B. spoke again. “What happened last night between you and Y/N?” JJ was quiet. He remembered feeling inexplicably angry last night but it didn’t transfer over to when he woke up. Still, JJ felt hurt and confused, feeling as though you chose Trent over him and wanted to talk about it when he felt most vulnerable because he had just admitted to liking you. He knew he wasn’t angry because he had no right to tell you how to feel, especially when he’d never told you how he felt. Either way, he knew he was hurting. “Y/N chose Trent over me,” JJ said, trying to act casual. John B. raised his eyebrow as he turned on the electric kettle. “Trent?” he asked. JJ nodded. “Are you sure?” “More sure than I’ve been in a while, JB.” John B. was confused because, from all of the things Sarah has told him, and all he had observed, all the signs pointed to you liking JJ. Once Sarah mentioned how the both of you had been acting strange around each other and more attentive when you two were near each other, it all made sense to him. John B. knew JJ wouldn’t be caught dead acting like a gentleman around the clock for anyone, but you were the exception. You were always the exception. That was why John B. couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of you deciding to date Trent over JJ. He knew you just as well as he knew his best friend. John B. knew you were the type of person to put yourself above feeling like you were less than a good human being and he knew that you were aware of who you were and what you deserved. He watched you grow up from a shy kid who would never ask the person who stole your crayons to give them back, to an independent woman who wouldn’t be afraid of barking at a police officer if they looked at Kiara or Pope the wrong way. John B. was starting to think he was becoming more perceptive, and for a moment, he was beginning to doubt that. But it was John B. who looked after you when you hit a low point a few months ago before you regained your willingness to step out of your bedroom, which is how he knew all of this about you. He knew you’d never choose someone who you didn’t connect with and he knew you were, most likely, trying to confess your feelings for JJ. “C’mon,” he reasoned. “She looked pretty happy to see you last night.” “She just wanted to talk to me about Trent,” JJ huffed. “It’s the same thing over and over again, JB. All we talk about is the job Rafe gave me a few weeks back, whatever we talk about with our friends, and Trent. She never even gave me a chance to tell her how I felt about her.” “It’s not too late,” John B. said. “But what if she and Trent are happy together? Who am I to ruin that by confessing?” “Did she tell you that she was with Trent officially?” “Well, no,” said JJ, “but she didn’t have to. I knew she went over to Trent’s hotel, to you know, and that’s why she came to me in the Boneyard.” “But that’s just a theory,” John B. said, pouring the coffee into two cups. He put two sugars and a little bit of cream into his while JJ drank it black. “You don’t really know.” “It’s too fucking early for mind games.” “You don’t know if that’s what she wanted to tell you because you never gave her the chance to say it.” “Again, JB, I don’t know what’s not clicking, but the timeline’s pretty obvious. We hung out, she left and told me she was going to Trent’s, and then she comes a few hours later to tell me she fucked him.” John B. winced at his attitude but tried to keep his composure. He sipped on his coffee and tried to think of something to say, but even he had to admit his mind wasn’t all there due to waking up less than thirty minutes ago. “I don’t know what to tell you,” John B. said as he watched JJ’s shoulders slump. “You should apologize to her, though. You were a bit of a dick last night.” “I will when I get over it,” JJ said. “But right now I don’t even think Y/N and I are friends anymore.” John B. set his cup down. “What?” “She hurt me,” JJ said. “All this time we hung out and then she’d run off to Trent. It sucks knowing the person you love loves somebody else.” “You don’t mean that, JJ. You two have been friends for so long that I don’t think either of you can remember a time when you guys weren’t in each other's lives.” “Everything has to come to an end eventually,” JJ said. “Y/N and I aren’t an exception.” “JJ,” John B. said, turning his body towards his friend. “I know that you’re hurting right now but don’t throw away years of friendship.” “What else can I do? The only other option would be to watch as she and Trent start dating and I’ll have to listen to her talk about what a ‘perfect’ boyfriend he is. It’ll be weird, JB.” “Do you still love her?” “Yeah,” JJ said without pausing. “That’s why I don’t want to be around her. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret and make it awkward for all of us.” JJ sipped on his coffee. “Look, I’m hurt by what she did but I don’t hate her. I’m trying to do the right thing here.” “Which is?” “Making sure things aren’t awkward between us. I don’t want her to think I like her so she can be with Trent, worry free.” John B. kept his mouth sealed, knowing that JJ’s wound was still fresh. He wanted to tell the blond that his plan was cowardly and convince him to talk to you, even if it felt uncomfortable, but John B. knew JJ wanted to talk it out. The boy knew his best friend overthought more than he liked to admit. “Okay,” John B. said. “You do what’s best for you.” The brown-haired boy knew he would have to speak to Pope about this and, hopefully, have Sarah explain your side of the story to him. “Thanks, JB,” said JJ, taking his cup into the spare room. John B. pulled his phone out and texted Sarah, hoping this was all just a big misunderstanding. A day passed without you seeing JJ. It was easy not to see as you refused to step out of your house and you felt extremely lucky your parents had to prepare for some big event at the Thorton’s, leaving you alone with the house for most of the day. Sarah and Kiara had stayed over the previous night but had to part ways per Kiara’s job and Sarah’s obligation to her father’s work, leaving you with your thoughts. You knew you were both at fault for not speaking up sooner and you chastised yourself for not thinking about JJ’s feelings during this proposition. To you, JJ was just a friend helping you learn how to be confident in the bedroom, and the unfortunate side effect was you falling in love with your best friend. Perhaps you were too selfish when you realized it for the first time, caving into the delicious feeling of JJ’s attention on you like there was no one else he would rather look at. On one hand, you knew it wasn’t your fault that JJ wouldn’t listen to what you had to say, but you blame yourself for putting him in that position. You were positive he didn’t like you back and it made you feel even more embarrassed, knowing you had talked JJ into not caring in the slightest about Trent or your love life. 

You knew you’d have to face him eventually, but you were putting it off as much as you could. You’d brave it for your friends and you’d try your best not to feel affected by the way JJ dismissed you like you two hadn’t been best friends since birth. But it would be hard and you knew that when your eyes landed on a photo of you and him, framed on the top of your dresser from last summer after you two had jumped off of a tall cliff. He had convinced you to face the height and offered to jump in with you and it was such a fulfilling moment that you wanted to commemorate that glorious day by framing a photo of you and JJ after emerging from the lake. 

That memory felt like it was created in another lifetime. There was no doubt in your mind that you’d miss the way JJ would encourage you to face your fears and break your habit of choosing not to pursue something if it seemed too difficult. He, physically and metaphorically, held your hand through thick and thin, and never once made you feel like your problems were insignificant. 

Of course, you both knew you were a Kook by birth and the stereotypes that came with that status. Neither you nor JJ were aware what titles meant until you both got older and started to care about what others thought of you, and there was a moment when you were worried about what the future of your friendship would look like. You knew how JJ was, brash and hot-headed, but JJ never treated you like he did with other Kooks. JJ always reminded you he knew who you were, deep down, and never wanted to ruin a friendship because of what other people had to say. 

You wished you could go back to simpler times when you didn’t worry about having feelings for your best friend and ruining the friendship in the process. You wished you never gave Trent your number and you wished that someone else had picked up Kiara the night he approached you. You wished that summer was going to end on a happy note before everybody left for college, just like you had planned months ago. But you were sitting in the middle of your bed, blinking rapidly to prevent tears from falling after having desperately tried not to cry for the past hour. 

For a moment, your mind wandered to how JJ was dealing with the aftermath of the night before. Was he torn apart like you were? Was he overthinking what he said and how he reacted like you were? Or was he nonchalant, barely thinking about you because he meant what he said? You couldn’t decide which of the three scenarios were worse and didn’t want to dwell on feeling sorry for yourself for too long. Part of you wanted to tell your mother everything that happened in the past few weeks and how this situation made you confront your feelings for JJ, like she had always hinted at, but you knew she’d react terribly if she knew the whole truth. 

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard in the group chat message you had with Kiara and Sarah, but you tossed your phone to the side after coming to the conclusion that you were being bothersome by reaching out to them after they had comforted you all morning. You already lost one friend and you didn’t want to risk losing two more. 

You had considered asking Pope to talk to JJ for you, after talking yourself out of calling JJ, to have him explain your side of the story. But the thought was ludicrous; Pope was close with JJ and you thought he’d most likely believe his story over yours. Your mind wandered to the idea of JJ telling Pope everything he told you last night and you anticipated feeling embarrassed upon realizing Pope would side with him. He was a close friend, sure, but you knew he and JJ were closer. You weren’t sure if he would play the middleman this time and bridge the gap between you and JJ, so you disregarded asking Pope for a favor. 

John B. was your last resort and you were putting asking him for help on hold. He was equally close with you and JJ, and John B. expressed numerous times how he viewed you as his younger sister during the many years you two had been friends despite being a few months younger than him. He had always been of sound mind when you felt like you couldn’t think properly, acting as your guide to bring the best out of you. John B. was always gentle, knowing that you always wanted to please everyone while navigating your way through your own life, especially when it came to learning how to put people in their place when it was needed. 

But again, you came to the conclusion that he’d most likely side with JJ. The boy loved him like a brother and they were the two “founding” members of the friend group. John B. and JJ, two peas in a pod. You knew that they were inseparable and they always managed to fix each argument within the hour. It hurt to know that John B. would likely believe JJ without hearing your story, but in that moment, you decided the best idea was to keep your thoughts to yourself and wait until you felt less emotional to act. 

“Life is so fucking unfair,” you complained, staring at the framed photo across your bed before walking towards it, facing the photo down. You were, metaphorically, trying to get over the embarrassment of your failed attempt at confessing your feelings to JJ, and you were trying not to think about how either of you would react when you both saw each other for the first time since you left him at the Boneyard. 

You genuinely didn’t know if you’d be friends with the Pogues after that day. The group would never be the same and you anticipated the both you and JJ acting awkward around each other if you continued to hang out together. While you were willing to put your pride and feelings aside to keep the group together, you knew that JJ would pretend you weren’t there and try his best not to interact with you. You didn’t know how you’d react if he brought a girl with him or what you’d do if JJ talked about liking another girl. 

The whirlpool of thoughts made your head dizzy and you opted to lay on your pillow, choosing to fall fast asleep to avoid overthinking.  

JJ counted the days that he hadn’t seen you. It had been four days since the Boneyard incident and he had successfully avoided you and the embarrassment that came with realizing he was utterly in love with you while you showed romantic feelings for someone else. JJ knew he was being irrationally idiotic when he decided the best way to deal with his feelings was to avoid you because he knew he’d have to talk to you at some point. He didn’t know what the friendship between the six of you would look like and he wasn’t too eager to find out. 

His mind was preoccupied with finding ways to avoid you -- and talking about you -- that he hadn’t spent any time thinking about how he’s act, and how you’d act, when you two saw each other for the first time. JJ figured you’d try to avoid him and make small talk when necessary, and if he was being honest with himself, he might’ve done the same. When he woke up earlier that morning, it seemed as if JJ couldn’t forget the friendship that was lost between the both of you. Instead, his mind kept replaying the moment he looked away from you and the conversation he had with John B. JJ was sure Kiara and Sarah had comforted you, and that you confided in both girls, causing the blond to become fearful that he might’ve lost three friends in the process. 

Everything about you captivated him and JJ cursed this because the both of you weren’t on speaking terms. He did his best to preoccupy himself with working at the garage shop, hanging out with John B. and Pope, or sitting by himself in a clearing where nobody would bother him, but it was no use. Neither being alone nor being around other people prevented JJ from thinking about you and it hurt him to know you might not be thinking about him the way he thought about you. 

Pope had put two and two together after Sarah explained what happened between you and Trent. She had found Pope walking by The Wreck the day after she looked after you and told him everything you told her, including how Trent was someone you thought you liked until you realized you were projecting your feelings for JJ onto him because you were scared about ruining a friendship. The boy sat with his mouth wide open and Sarah desperately asked him to talk to JJ, knowing that neither one of you would be the first to say ‘I’m sorry.’ “I’m just going to say it even if it’s the last thing you want to hear,” Pope said angrily, his voice raised. “Then why say it at all?” JJ barked back. “Because you’re my best friend and Y/N is the little sister I never had,” Pope replied with his nose flaring. He could feel his throat growing sore but paid no mind. JJ stood and leaned back, waiting for Pope to speak. “When things seem to be working out for you, you pull away. You hate it when it seems like your life’s going the way you want it to because you think something bad’s gonna happen. You reject people before they have the chance to do it to you because you’re afraid of feeling like something is being taken away from you. “And, man, I get it. You don’t have a perfect life and you’re used to things going south. You’re used to giving that you can’t enjoy a good thing while it’s happening. Your first instinct is to cut people off and shut them out before you even consider listening to what they have to say and working things out.” JJ looked at the wooden floor and noticed the few splinters sticking up. He made mental notes of where to avoid stepping until John B. got them fixed or filed them down.

“On the night of the last kegger, Y/N broke things off with Trent before seeing you,” Pope explained. “She told him nothing about their relationship felt right because she likes you, JJ. Y/N was at The Boneyard to tell her how she felt about you.” 

JJ’s eyes widened with surprise and he, for once, felt like he wasn’t able to refute what his best friend was saying. Of all the things he imagined in his head, you confessing you liked him more than a friend was not remotely on his list. “Y/N is good for you,” Pope said. “She’s been your best friend since you could walk. She knows how you operate, what you like and don’t like, and how to help you when you’re going through it with your dad. She deals with all of your shit because she loves you, JJ. If you love her like you say you do, you need to accept that she’s going to see things you don’t want her to see.” “Pope,” JJ said, his voice cracking. His body didn’t move and he felt paralyzed in his spot. Pope didn’t hesitate to react and pulled JJ into a hug, patting him on the back for assurance. “You know you’re good for her too. You wouldn’t have agreed to whatever it was that was going on between you two if you didn’t think you were good enough for her. JJ, I don’t think there’s anyone in the world who thinks you’re not good enough for her. You’re not a screw up either. We all have things we’re dealing with on our own even if we don’t show other people. You don’t want to waste your friendship with her over something as stupid as a misunderstanding, right?” “No,” JJ said, wiping his eyes. “No, I don’t.” “Then get your ass out of here and tell Y/N you love her,” Pope said, pointing at the door. “Apologize to her and listen to what she has to say.” “What if I feel like I’m starting to shut her out again?” “Breath and tell yourself you deserve good things to happen. There’s always gonna be something that doesn’t go your way but it doesn’t mean your life has to end there.” “Thanks, Pope,” JJ said. He walked towards the door and Pope followed, watching as his friend walked outside and took John B’s bicycle to your house. Pope couldn’t help but smile because he knew JJ was willing to be vulnerable if that meant mending two broken hearts. When your doorbell rang, you ignored it, thinking it was overnight mail. You paid no mind to the sound and continued to scroll on Instagram on your phone but you were pulled out of your concentration when you heard the doorbell ring for a third, fourth, and fifth time. Angrily, you lifted the covers of your comforter off of your body and marched downstairs with your hand gripping your phone tightly, ready to raise your voice at whoever was bothering you while you tried to forget about a boy who forgot about you. 

But when you opened the door, JJ stood with John B’s bicycle, his chest rising and falling. 

“Hey,” he said casually, his eyes darting anywhere but you. 

“Hi,” you replied, a frown apparent on your lips as your eyebrows creased. 

“I, uh, biked all the way here from The Cut,” he said awkwardly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Am I supposed to congratulate you, or something?” you asked sarcastically after a brief pause, crossing your arms over your chest while you waited for JJ to answer you.

“No, you’re not,” he retorted. “I’m trying to apologize but I didn’t think about how I’d start this conversation.” 

When JJ realized you weren’t saying anything and opted to listen, he spoke again. 

“Pope told me why you were at The Boneyard,” he began. 

“What did he tell you exactly?” 

“He told me you broke things off with Trent and came to the party to tell me you liked me,” JJ finished. He looked at you. “And I assumed the worst before you could say anything.” 

“You never let me explain myself,” you said, straightening your posture. “You told me you didn’t want anything to do with me and that you’d stop worrying about what I did if I did the same for you.”

“I was hurt,” he explained. “There’s no good excuse for me to say that and I know it. But what I said was because I was hurt by you talking about Trent when I wanted to tell you I was in love with you.” 

JJ’s confession made your eyes widen. 

“What?” 

“I’m not saying that just because Pope told me you liked me either,” JJ said confidently. “You know I’m not good at this ‘talking about your feelings’ shit, but you know I tell you everything. I waited too damn long to tell you how I feel and it caused us to nearly lose our friendship.

“And I’m sorry for saying those things because it’s not right to make your best friend feel like they’re replaceable. I’m sorry for not letting you tell your side of the story because it’s unfair to let my voice be heard and not yours. I’m sorry for waiting this long to tell you how I feel about you, but I’m not sorry for loving you in the first place.” 

The both of you looked at one another and JJ was scared for your reaction. 

“That’s one hell of an apology,” you said after a moment of silence. JJ laughed. 

“Yeah, I didn’t think that one out. I probably could’ve done better.” 

You shook your head. “It means more to me that you didn’t plan it out because it lets me know that’s how you really feel.”

“I love you,” he said. “It’s not some casual thing I’m saying, Y/N. I can’t remember a time when you weren’t the most important person in my life and I can’t help but love you.” 

“I love you too, idiot,” you said. JJ smiled at the nickname. “I’m sorry for putting you in that position when I was with Trent. You didn’t deserve to watch me go after some guy when you liked me more than a friend.” 

“Thanks,” said JJ. He chuckled. “Things would’ve been easier if I had let you talk at The Boneyard, huh?” 

“Maybe,” you replied with a delicate smile. 

“Would it be weird if I asked you if I could kiss you?” 

“Only if you didn’t kiss me.” 

JJ leaned forward, not caring that he was tossing John B’s bike into your bushes. He hastily put both of his hands on either side of your jaw, letting his lips press onto yours with the euphoric feeling of kissing his best friend after having confessed. 

“Do you want to come in?” you asked him, stepping inside of your house as you pulled his hands away from your jaw so that you could hold them. You bit your lip and JJ’s eyes widened, understanding your subtle hint. 

“What about your parents?”

“They’ll be gone all weekend for an event,” you explained, pulling him inside. JJ closed the door behind him and you locked it without breaking eye contact, walking forward until you felt JJ’s back pressed against the doorframe. 

“It’s convenient that they’ve been out of town for the past month,” he said, looking down at you. 

“I say we take advantage of the house,” you said. JJ raised his eyebrow. 

“Do you?” 

“It’s my house, Maybank,” you said as you licked your lips, pulling him up the stairwell. “If I want you to take me to my bedroom, you’ll take me to my bedroom.” 

“Fuck,” he cursed as he watched you lead him to the familiar door he’d seen many times before. 

“Are you sure about this?” he asked you once you both were inside your room, your hands tracing along the sides of his torso. You pushed up the fabric of his t-shirt as they went and he could feel the coldness of your fingertips grazing along his skin. You nodded, your bottom lip finding refuge between your teeth. 

“We’ve already slept together, J,” you said. He raised his arms up over his head to allow you to pull the shirt fully over his head and toss it onto the floor beside your bed. Once it was off, he hand found your chin, forcing you to make eye contact with him. 

“This is different and you know it,” he sighed. Your eyes flickered down to his slightly parted lips. 

“Is it now?” you asked, your shaky breathing betraying whatever confidence you’d previously displayed. It only took him a second to capture your mouth on his own. You could feel the yearning through his skin with his grip on your jaw apparent. 

His fingers danced down your body until they rested just underneath your shorts, toying with the hem of your cut-offs as his tongue made its way down your throat. Everything about him just felt so much better than before, like he wasn’t holding anything back; and it was incredible. JJ knew he didn’t have to hide his feelings for you anymore and he knew he didn’t have to metaphorically show his love and appreciation for you as his best friend and lover. JJ could show you how he felt about you and he wasn’t about to waste any time. 

“Take these off,” he grumbled against your lips as he snapped the waistband of your shorts. You nodded, distancing yourself from him with a pout so that you could shimmy the shorts down your legs, missing the feelings of his hands around your jaw. 

“Your turn,” you said, motioning towards the cargo shorts on his legs. 

“You’re hot when you’re bossy,” he said, tossing his shorts in the same general direction of his shirt before reconnecting your lips. The two of you somehow managed to maneuver yourselves to the foot of your bed, your knees buckling as he sat you down on the down filled comforter. Your hand found his clothed length as he stared down at you. 

“I want you,” you said. 

“That’s good, because I’m desperate for you,” he said. You could feel him hardening under your touch. “You’ve got too many clothes on, don’t you think?”

You hummed in response before slipping your tube top over your head gingerly, watching as JJ’s eyes never left your body. It hadn’t really crossed his mind that you hadn’t been wearing a bra under it until he saw your breasts in full, your nipples standing at attention from the feeling of the cool air hitting them. 

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned before pulling on of them between his teeth. The other was quickly taken care of by his right hand, his index and thumb twisting and rolling the peak. A whine slipped out of you before you could stop it and JJ felt his cock twitch at the sound. He pulled back from you with a pop as he leaned you back against the duvet, your legs still dangling over the side as he looked down at you. 

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked again. 

“I trust you, JJ,” you groaned. “Now, please do something.”  

“I’m gonna do so much more than fuck you,” he said before removing his blue boxer briefs, his cock slapping against his torso. You lipcked your lips at the sight and gripped the bedsheets. “I’m gonna make you feel so good you’re gonna beg for another round.”

“Please,” you mumbled as his lips slanted against your throat. “I need you so bad.”

You felt him bite down on your pulse point, his canines nearly piercing the skin. He pulled back to admire the bruise before making his way down your body, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses on your skin. The fabric of your panties grew damper, both from your own juices and his saliva as he kissed your clit through them. JJ’s hand slowly stroked his cock as he teased you and he moaned when he felt your hips push themselves forward underneath his tongue. Your hands found his tousled blond locks as the two of you made eye contact, his eyes half-lidded as he looked up at you from between your thighs. 

“JJ,” you whined. 

“Patience, baby. I’m just getting started,” he said. Still, he moved back from where he was so that he could pull the flimsy piece of clothing down your legs as his middle finger delved between your folds. “So pretty and wet for me.”

“Only for you,” you said. 

“I have so much I want to do with you, baby, but I’m so hard right now. I don’t know if I can resist not being inside of you much longer,” he punctuated the sentence with a moan. 

Your hand wrapped itself around his cock, desperately trying to push him inside of you. He let you pull him close enough so that the head was just barely pressing into your entrance before slapping your hand away. 

“Do I need to say it again?” he asked, grabbing your hips and tugging you so that you were mere inches away from falling off the edge of the bed.  

“Patience is a virtue,” you said. “One I don’t have.”

He paused for a moment. “Do you remember that time you called me and asked me to teach you how to touch yourself?”

“Yeah, what does that have-”

“Do you remember?”

“Yes, I do,” you sighed, bucking your hips in an attempt to get him inside of you. 

“You think you can show me what you learned while I fuck you?” he asked. You nodded as your hand slipped between the two of you, ghosting over your clit. You would’ve done anything he asked in that moment if it meant he had his way with you. 

The head of his cock dipped into you fully at that point, the rest of his length following shortly after until he was bottomed out. He stalled with a groan. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he said before starting up a steady rhythm with his hips. It seemed that every snap of his hips sent your mind spiraling deeper into the haze that was JJ Maybank. 

“J, I’m not gonna last much longer,” you whimpered, clenching around him. From the way you felt his cock twitching, you knew he wasn’t going to either. 

“I love you,” he whispered as he leaned down to press his forehead against yours. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, J,” you moaned as you felt your orgasm wash over you, the pleasure rolling over you in waves. His hips stuttered for a moment, his cum coating your walls in thick, hot ropes. The euphoric mixture of being able to finish inside of you while simultaneously allowing himself to show you how much he loved you washed over him like a newfound grace. 

“Fuck,” he said. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s okay,” you said with a small laugh. He leaned back to pull out of you, his gaze dropping as he watched a mix of both of your cum drip out of you. 

“I’m gonna get hard again, holy shit,” he said as he pushed it back up into you with his fingers. 

“We’ve got all night,” you said. 

JJ smiled. 

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” 

***

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[maxwell-grant]

What are your thoughts on Jekyll/Hyde and his archetype of the human periodically changing into a monster ?

Jekyll & Hyde was the 2nd horror story I read following Frankenstein, I got it off the same library and it always stuck very strongly with me even before I got into horror in general. I even dressed up as Jekyll/Hyde as a kid for a school fair by shredding a lab coat on one side and asking my sister to make-up claw gashes on my exposed arm and paint half of my face, although in hindsight I think I ended up looking more like Doctor Two-Face than Jekyll/Hyde, but I was 12 and didn't have any Victorian clothing to use so I had to make do. The first film project I tried doing at film school was intended to be a modern take on Jekyll & Hyde, and I didn't get much farther than a couple of discarded scripts

Much like Frankenstein, Mr Hyde as a character and a story is something that's kind of baked into everything I do artistically. And it's not just me, as even in pop culture itself, none of us can escape Mr Hyde. I would go so far as to argue Mr Hyde may be the single most significant character created by victorian fiction, if only by the sheer impact and legacy the character's had.

(Fan-art by guilhermefranco)

Part of what makes Mr Hyde such a powerful and lasting icon of pop culture is that the very premise of the book invites a personal reading that's gonna vary from person to person. Because everyone's familiar with the basic twist of the story, that it's a conflict of duality, of the good and evil sides, but everyone has a more personal idea of what those entail. Some people make the story more about class. A lot of readings laser-focus on sex and lust as the driving force, and there's also a lot of readings of Mr Hyde that tackle it to explore a more gendered perspective, and so forth.

I don't particularly take much notice of the Jekyll & Hyde adaptations partially because the novel's premise and themes have become baked so throughly into pop culture and explored in so many different and interesting ways, that I'm not particularly starving for good Jekyll & Hyde adaptations the way I am for Dracula and Frankenstein. The Fredric March film in particular is one that orbits my head less because of the film itself (although I do recommend it), but because of one specific scene, and that's when Jekyll first transforms into Hyde on screen.

Out of all the things they could have shown him doing right that second, they instead took the time to show him enjoying the rain.

Just Hyde taking off his hat and letting it all cascade on his face with this sheer enthusiasm like he's never been to the rain before, never enjoyed it before, and now that he's free from being Jekyll, he gets to enjoy life like he never has before. It's such an oddly humanizing moment to put amidst a horror movie, in the scene where you're ostensibly introducing the monster to the audience, and it makes such a stark contrast to the rest of the film where Hyde is completely irredeemable, but I think it's that contrast that makes the film's take on Hyde work so well even with it's diverging from the source material, even if I don't particularly like in general interpretations of Hyde that are focused on a sexual aspect.

Because one, it understands that Jekyll was fundamentally a self-serving coward and not a paragon of goodness, and two, it also understands one of the things that makes Hyde scary: He wants what all of us want, to live and be happy. He's happy when he leaves the lab and dances around in the rain like a giddy child, he's happy when he goes to places Jekyll couldn't dream of showing up, he's happy as a showgirl-abusing sexual predator. Hyde is all wants, all the time, and there's not that much difference between his wants, his domineering possessiveness, and the likes exhibited by Muriel's father and Jekyll's own within the very same film, which also works to emphasize one of the other ideas of the original story, that Edward Hyde doesn't come from nowhere. That no monster is closer to humanity than Mr Hyde, because he is us. He is the thing that Jekyll refused to take responsability for until it was too late.

(Art by LorenzoMastroianni)

While many of the ideas that defined Mr Hyde had already been explored in pop culture beforehand, Hyde popularized and redefined many of them in particular by modernizing the idea. He was the werewolf, the doppelganger, The Player On The Other Side, except he came from within. He was not transformed by circumstance, he made himself that way, and the elixir merely brought out something already inside his soul. To acknowledge that he's there is to acknowledge that he is you, and to not do that is to either lose to him, or perish. Hyde was there to address both the rot settling in Victorian society as well as grappling concerns over Darwinian heritage, of the realization that man has always had the beast inside of him (it's no accident that Hyde's main method of murder is by clubbing people to death with his cane like a caveman).

I've already argued on my post about Tarzan that the Wild Man archetype, beginning with Enkidu of The Epic of Gilgamesh, is the in-between man and beast, between superhero and monster, and that Mr Hyde is an essential component of the superhero's trajectory, as the creature split in between. That stories about dual personalities, doppelgangers, the duality of the soul, the hero with a day job and an after dark career, you can pinpoint Hyde as a turning point in how all of these solidified gradually in pop culture. And I've argued otherwise that The Punisher, for all that his image and narrative points otherwise, is ultimately just as much of a superhero as the rest of them, even if no one wants to admit it, drawing a parallel between The Punisher and Mr Hyde. And he's far from the only modern character that can invite this kind of parallel.

The idea of a regular person periodically or permanently transforming into, or revealing itself to be, something extraordinary and fantastic and scary, grappling with the divide it causes in their soul, and questions whether it's a new development or merely the truest parts of themselves coming to light at last, and the effects this transformation has for good and bad alike. The idea of a potent, dangerous, unpredictable enemy who ultimately is you, or at least a facet of you and what you can do. That these are bound to destroy each other if not reconciled with or overcome.

You know what are my thoughts on the archetype of "human periodically changing into a monster" are? Look around you and you're gonna see the myriad ways The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde's themes have manifested in the century and a half since the story's release. Why it shouldn't be any surprise whatsoever that Mr Hyde has become such an integral part of pop culture, in it's heroes and monsters alike. Why we can never escape Mr Hyde, just as Jekyll never could.

It is Nixon himself who represents that dark, venal and incurably violent side of the American character that almost every country in the world has learned to fear and despise. Our Barbie-doll president, with his Barbie-doll wife and his boxful of Barbie-doll children is also America's answer to the monstrous Mr. Hyde.

He speaks for the Werewolf in us; the bully, the predatory shyster who turns into something unspeakable, full of claws and bleeding string-warts on nights when the moon comes too close… - Hunter S. Thompson

There is a scene in the movie Pulp Fiction that explains almost every terrible thing happening in the news today. And it's not the scene where Ving Rhames shoots that guy's dick off. It's the part where the hit man played by John Travolta is talking about how somebody vandalized his car, and says this:

"Boy, I wish I could've caught him doing it. I'd have given anything to catch that asshole doing it. It'd been worth him doing it, just so I could've caught him doing it."

That last sentence is something everyone should understand about mankind. After all, the statement is completely illogical -- revenge is supposed to be about righting a wrong. But he wants to be wronged, specifically so he'll have an excuse to get revenge. We all do.

Why else would we love a good revenge movie? We sit in a theater and watch Liam Neeson's daughter get kidnapped. We're not sad about it, because we know he's a badass and he finally has permission to be awesome. Not a single person in that theater was rooting for it to all be an innocent misunderstanding. We wanted Liam to be wronged, because we wanted to see him kick ass. It's why so many people walk around with vigilante fantasies in their heads.

Long, long ago, the people in charge figured out that the easiest and most reliable way to bind a society together was by controlling and channeling our hate addiction. That's the reason why seeing hurricane wreckage on the news makes us mumble "That's sad" and maybe donate a few bucks to the Red Cross hurricane fund, while 9/11 sends us into a decade-long trillion-dollar rage that leaves the Middle East in flames.

The former was caused by wind; the latter was caused by monsters. The former makes us kind of bummed out; the latter gets us high.

It's easy to blame the news media for pumping us full of stories of mass shootings and kidnapped children, but that's stopping one step short of the answer: The media just gives us what we want. And what we want is to think we're beset on all sides by monsters.

The really popular stories will always feature monsters that are as different from us as possible. Think about Star Wars -- what real shithead has ever referred to himself as being on "the dark side"? In Harry Potter and countless fantasy universes, you have wizards working in "black magic" and the "dark arts." Can you imagine a scientist developing some technology for chemical weapons or invasive advertising openly thinking of what he does as "dark science"? Can you imagine a real world leader naming his headquarters "The Death Star" or "Mount Doom"?

Of course not. But we need to believe that evil people know they're evil, or else that would open the door to the fact that we might be evil without knowing it. I mean, sure, maybe we've bought chocolate that was made using child slaves or driven cars that poisoned the air, but we didn't do it to be evil -- we were simply doing whatever we felt like and ignoring the consequences. Not like Hitler and the bankers who ruined the economy and those people who burned the kittens -- they wake up every day intentionally dreaming up new evils to create. It's not like Hitler actually thought he was saving the world.

So no matter how many times you vote to cut food stamps and then use the money to buy a boat, you could still be way worse. You could, after all, be one of those murdering / lazy / ignorant / greedy / oppressive monsters that you know the world is full of, and that only your awesome moral code prevents you from turning into at any moment. And those monsters are out there.

They have to be. Because otherwise, we're the monsters - 5 Reasons Humanity Desperately Wants Monsters To Be Real, by Jason Pargin

(Two-Face sequence comes from the end of Batman Annual #14: Eye of the Beholder)

For good or bad, Hyde has become omnipresent. He's a part of our superheroes, he's a part of our supervillains, he's in our monsters. He lives and prattles in our ears, sometimes we need him to survive, and sometimes we become Hyde even when we don't need to, because our survival instincts or base cruelties or desperation brings out the worst in us. Sometimes we can beat him, and sometimes he's not that bad. Sometimes we do need to appease him and listen to what he says, about us and the world around us. And sometimes we need to do so specifically to prove him wrong and beat him again.

But he never, ever goes away, as he so accurately declares in the musical

Do you really think That I would ever let you go...

Do you think I'd ever set you free?

If you do, I'm sad to say It simply isn't so

You will never get away FROM MEEEEEE

(Art by Akreon on Artstation)

[supercorp-hosie]

My thoughts for Legacies 316: (here we go again😂)

(I’m combining after thoughts with live thoughts)

1) The soundtracks for this episode are amazing, they fit very well even for Finsie that I heard that a lot of people were complaining on Reddit.

2) I finally get my team Sowanby! I just feel so much from them! They kind of make a great team, but please, do not go on another heist again. You both sucks at that! The holes are, the museum don’t have a fucking alarm for Leonardo DaVinci’s work? Are you kidding me? And Landon beating the shit out of the guard but not putting him out first is so dumb. The worst is Cleo calling Landon’s name so loud, I can’t😂😂😂😂😂😂 you don’t want people to be on your back when you have the Malivore threat going on guys! And ha! You guys are on the headline! That’s why I really feel like these supernaturals are so outdated and solidified from modern technology, even in 2030! Are you going to tell me everything technology will still be the same like now?? Come on, there’ll be cameras watching everywhere. Like they can see Cleo using magic! I need my Trimini (or bridge) coven and Hope starting to integrate the supernatural world with the modern world. About Trimini and Hope future career, click here.

3) the line about “many who shaped it are never acknowledged” I stand! After that, about the key card my random thoughts were about Landon being the one that stole the key card😂 just out of the blue and I’m proven wrong though.

4) Landon bonding with Cleo!!!! They thought the same way, and “I can promise that anyone that have to get to you, they have to get to me” is so strong! But the scene after, is the moment I started really doubting Landon, the look is too alarming. But there are still Sowanby scenes😭😭😭 and the melted heart mud... I mean I genuinely believed that the spell didn’t work because Landon is also mud himself. But in hindsight it is horrific, like the serial killer is just standing next to you but and the signs are right in front of you.

5) Malivore mud being artistically friendly! I can’t haha! Oh and when Holarke walked on Sowanby inspiring moment🤣🤣🤣I can’t, they act like both of them are cheating on one another it’s hilarious. Thank you for acknowledging each other Holarke and Sowanby🤣. By now, I should have known that’s MaliLandon. It’s humiliating because Holarke and Sowanby got me so happy that I didn’t see the clues lmao! Because there’s this line: “Following the footstep of the Renaissance greatest man? ” but this thing, Cleo only did it with Leonardo, with whom she slept with......

6) And damn, after that, I felt like a FOOL, CLOWN, WHATEVER after that! All I have for team Sowanby is fake 🙃🙃🙃🤡🤡🤡 Anyway we still have to admit that the promise still stand true right, cuz it’s literal.🤣🤣🤣 MaliLandon fulfills his promise by eating Cleo. TYPICAL.

7) Holarke! Clarke is still handsome as ever😍. We can see his presence is clearly affecting Josie and making Hope giving him information. Can we talk about how cute is he sleeping soundly here?

8) Lizzie being the only unaffected queen here. AND IT’S FINALLY LIZZIE’S TURN FOR “AD SONNUM” I can totally see her pleasantness in doing that to somebody after being on the receiving end🤣🤣🤣 Josie and Hope had done it before so now we actually see her doing it. I somehow feel completed.

9) The look Hope and Josie shared. Hosie!

10) Josie is going to be the death of me! I like her look. And how the camera moving upward gosh! And I’m totally digressing here, what is a razzleberry? And what is a slush? I have no idea what they are, I just feel like tasting what she tasting now. Lizzie’s line, crashing and splashing😂 Am I colour blind? Cuz I really can’t tell whether Hope is wearing dark blue or dark green 😅 if it’s green, then the traffic lights colour are back again lol. If blue, then Hosie matching clothes! Did Finsie ever have matching colours? I’m just wondering.

11) Hosie scene! They talked about how seeing Clarke traumatised Josie~~ damn and Josie says traumatised is her permanent resting state. I mean even on her birthday she was buried alive lmao. And Hope wants to help Josie stop the traumas by sacrificing herself to defeat Malivore, like by literally dying. Which she didn’t want because she didn’t want to live forever.

12) Holarke scene again! I love all those banters and their dynamics😂😂 how Hope is the only one that trusts Clarke now. The mimic spell! It’s their thing😍😍. Oh it totally surprised me that Clarke isn’t mud man anymore. I’m really happy for him, because he finally break himself out of the abuse! It seems like triad is totally gone?? But I still kind of think that there may be something more? And Clarke’s reaction to Hope opening the artefact! 🤣🤣🤣 and the way that Clarke sensed the familiarity with Cleo! Yea boy, she’s the inspiration to the creation of you.

13) Clarke keeps calling Hope and Landon kids🤣 how’s the feeling of getting kid!Hope kicking your ass and saving you😂😂😂 oh she’s totally your equal. Frenemies at best! YES! I love Holarke bonding. And the fact that Clarke being Hope inspiration to believe in friendship and her family now can help her to defeat Malivore, I Stan! Don’t lose sight of the corner! Josie! Lizzie! Clarke! Yes you have them! I’m glad that Clarke didn’t die, I’ll be so mad because the writer would be bringing him back for nothing. Oh the incendia is painful, affecting me more than the fake looking MaliLandon eating Cleo. The height difference again🤣 with Holarke this time.

14) I love Maleb clothes, not really shipping them just short form for their bromance😂 but I do enjoy if there suggests shipping cuz it’s fun! Love that them being supportive of each other, superheroing, and the hero name🤣🤣they’re clueless too. Poor Kaleb and Cleo. I really need his backstory 😫

15) about hero names, I’m still having playback of “blursome and essential” in my mind. MG is looking at the mask longer than Kaleb, I feel like he’s missing Ethan, like a lot. Another thing is, since we see the effect of someone else being compelled so clearly, but we never seen Ethan’s compelling effects. Or it’s a budget matter? They must be kidding right? So maybe Ethan is really faking it? So that leads us to Lethan....

16) if my suspicion is true, then damn, Ethan is using Lizzie to get into SBS? I’m worried for Lizzie’s wellbeing. Also the look on Josie when Ethan drives near tight after she said like some eligible will fall out of the sky🤣🤣🤣 the timing is impeccable lmao. For real, Lizzie wanting Ethan to be Hope’s rebound after her kiss with him in the trio imagination, is ....so the trio is now sharing guys now? Jandon is still there in the history! It’ll be like a very messing love multi-triangle😌😌😌

17) the way Lizzie talked about how Hope is perfect the whole way and judging by the day when they arrived at SBS? That’s very long! Lmao, Lizzie are you sure you’re not in love with Hope? Hizzie rights! (I don’t even know when I started to ship Hizzie, it’s a mystery🤣) I think I can only talk like that about my love. Why don’t you make you and your sister Hope’s rebound? I’ll be happy with what I get🤣

18) The decision to bring Ethan on a tour, is so bad. What if ethan ended up enrolling SBS and Alaric can’t deny the application? Did she ever think of that?? And Josie and Mg is going to face the consequences in the near future🤣 dreadful! From there I already felt the cliche sweetness that when you’re trying to be a wingwoman and ended up “selling” yourself out🤣🤣 fuck CW for cutting the scenes of Lizzie’s epic facial expression when she was slapped with her own words😂😂😂anyway, it’s no way she can refuse the ask out after 315 where Lizzie still thinks that she can’t be the chosen one when Hope is there, but someone actually chooses her even after all the Hope is perfect speech. As much as I mourn for Methan and Mizzie, I’m happy that she got someone to tell her that. But I think they’re destined to backfire😅

19) so does the Mizzie “will they won’t they?” officially end here? I’m confused. Btw it’s really a way to mention Sebastian’s death being relocated permanently 🤣 oh wait...she knew that that prison world is destroyed forever right????? Someone save me.

20) okay I have to go back before Ethan picked the twins up: while Lizzie is actually worrying about themselves being stranded, Josie is just more concerned about Hope? Hosie! Poor Josie, she never sees that she is Hope soft spot and can totally make Hope happy too. Look at your dumb joke at 103, Hope’s laugh is magnificent too. It’s because of you. And yes I’m with Josie, I just ship Hope with herself and her axe right now, don’t put her with anyone for at least 5 more episode please.

21) The one that doesn’t dissolve into goo! Now is Clarke! And the both of you my dear twins. Btw, the dna thing, where Clarke confirms that dna is still toxic... so it applies to Landon too right? And it’s now just more overwhelmingly apparent that handon sex is without protection. Yea so much for epic love. And this is about the possibility where (hopefully) it’s not MaliLandon when the sex scene happened.

22) Finsie time! I got to say, it’s really improving. Their scene is beautiful, finally. That feeling that they’re nice together is now going on continuous for me. I’m happy for them! They are now stepping up on Hosie, not derogatory, I’m just seeing some parallels from hosie here. The disclose of Ethan broken arm, where Hosie has done, before that there’s Clarke’s traumatising Josie thing with Hosie. Next, the focus on the hand holding, I’m thinking of 207 and others. The “me being here with you”, with hosie 308 “then I’ll be here with you”. The whole thing is very comforting for Josie. The hug is good too. We can see that they finally have some nice scene and the bgm is good for them.

23) I have no idea what is magical agronomy, so I look it up. Again, that shows how Josie love plants, like someone in Reddit said they observed that Josie’s side of room has several plants. And in 307, the herbs, that she remembers. I think it can help a lot if Hope is starting a magical technology company. Josie’s interest in that can come in handy. They’ll make a great team. About TRIMINI INDUSTRIES tap here.

24) we are still missing Jed here. Justice for Jed. We need Jed real first name. Did anyone notice when the super squad faces MaliLandon there’s no werewolf present? They’re really downplaying that huh? But maybe I can be satisfied that they are not making Finch being there but not Jed.

25) We need to address this thing about Handon. It’s like one and a half time that Hope couldn’t recognise that Landon is not Landon right? We still have to give credits to her memories shared with Cleo actually make Cleo kind of recognise the difference? So half a time. I agree with Josie’s words that Landon makes Hope happy. I mean, yes, most of the time they failed in working but there’s still sweet scenes between them. So that’s actually what makes Handon tolerable. They are what makes me only do facepalm rather than skipping them. So yes of course Hope has happy moments with Landon. Just that it doesn’t mean that they’re good together.

26) it’s always Landon’s bros that first find out Landon wasn’t Landon😂 this time is Clarke. It’s Clarke that tell Hope, “Landon will never leave you”. That’s the inconsistency of the writers, not counting MaliLandon’s time, it’s still two times. And there’s time that some will argue that Landon’s feet literally walk away from Hope. So...that’s not true, do not stuff that in our throat anymore. “I always thought you two are destined to be together” is this the writer way of saying they’re not doing Handon anymore or otherwise? Cuz “thought” is past tense and “are” is present tense. I’m tired. It’s normal that Hope still wants Landon to be happy and still love him. But after the breakup, when she still doesn’t know that it’s MaliLandon, the “still dying to get Landon again” is obsession. Girl, it’s derogatory to your self-esteem. “If a mud man like me can beat his fate, maybe you kids can too” yea that’s Handon going on.

27) we shouldn’t need to be told that Handon is epic love multiple times. We should be able to feel them, see them ourselves. Why did I start approving Finsie now, because instead of them being only all talking and no showing, now we see them working well (until now). I have been widely accepting to any other legacies ships and why I never ship Handon? So really these multiple telling us that how good is Landon to Hope, is not working. I’ve never been so frustrated.

28) Let’s appreciate the Handon parallel with 101. It’s interesting that how Landon is inside the cage and Hope is outside the cage again. The meaning of the cage has deep meaning here. Handon first kiss is in the cage, that kind of mean that their love is trapped there. Like how their relationship being so troublesome and bound by these fateful encounters. The lights are quite similar, handon always has this blue lighting for them, which sometimes it’s kind of weird. The first time it is Hope decorating the ceiling with stars for Landon. It’s sweet, but also implying that what Handon has is the false beauty of them and not keeping the cage symbolism in mind. In other way of interpreting it, this is the writer foreshadowing their endgame. Cuz they’re trapped there, no way in no way out.

29) I think I’m not the only one bothered by the mostly lack of real Landon appearance in s3. As we can see how MaliLandon words sits so right about, Landon not belonging to SBS if it weren’t Hope. Then he leaves with Cleo, that’s a thing for Sowanby too, they still don’t have roots with the school, and it’s a great bonding between them, friendship or not. It’s the bond between them that matter. In 314 315, we always see that the students were totally fine without Landon. Like the three trios paralleling? It’s sad that Landon is like bouncing here and there in SBS but never really belong. And now the writers kind of ripped his personal development. So now he has neither his pheonix powers nor fighting skills, great? And even Hope’s growth too. We are seeing her moving to a good direction and the writers have to drag her back in the hell hole. Hope needs to not always looking at Landon for her happiness, it’s not good for the both of them. Like MG said, be your own person.

30) THEORIES regarding Landon: a) It’s MaliLandon all the way? I hope not, it’s reminding me of Lost Girl that one of the characters slept with the father personating the person she loves, and got pregnant. Tell you what was more alarming? When the episode ended, I was recommended to move on to Lost Girl on CW seed. It’s disgusting! Why do you want to help make me hate Handon? I don’t even hate them initially! I’m like struggling to be logical and lean on the positive side here. Why I can’t move on from this possibility: first, I’ve always headcannon that Malivore has partial control over Landon. Like how Landon actually wasn’t lying in 102 103? That’s Malivore. And Handon, as genius as always, doesn’t talk about it. Second, the way that Landon dissolved, he was human back then, but he turns into goo? how does it even work? If he is human, toxic to dna will make him die, not become goo, right? Even if that wasn’t a problem, it can also be MaliLandon trying his luck. Third, Malivore purpose is to make the perfect legacy, he will totally give it a try to make tribrid-Malivore babies. Fourth, during the inspiration from Cleo, MaliLandon has Landon’s memories, enhancing the theories that Malivore has partial control over Landon, so even if it wasn’t MaliLandon, it’s still partial-MaliLandon. Fifth, after the inspiration, MaliLandon said that he doesn’t need Hope to tackle his problem or for his purposes, which means he initially wanted Hope, thinking getting to Hope can help with his purposes. It’s really not a far-fetched.

31) THEORIES regarding Landon: b) it’s real Landon during sex, but Malivore got him in the prison world. While having Landon’s personal growth ripped and Handon still dragging out are not pleasant at all, this is still a more pleasant theory for me. At least Landon did start fighting for himself after sometime, and while the sex is still partial-MaliLandon, at least it’s not MaliLandon. (I’m always using at least for Handon 🙃) maybe we can still have Landon fighting skills? Cuz I was happy for him about this though. But I just don’t think so. The evidence for this theory is, my feeling about Landon in 306 is that it kind of fits Landon personality, but he did start his violence there. Another thing is the letter. There’s care in “to whom it may concern”. However, that can be just me being simp. And there’s also possibilities that the partial control from Malivore is cultivating Landon’s behaviour starting there and slowly taking control. Because making a deal with the devil always has its consequences. It’s either that or Landon was taken after the letter.

32) regarding the picture above, i just want to point out about another interesting point about the structure of the scene, if you scroll back and see sowanby picture with the door and another bonding talk, you can se that there’s always pillar and frames that’s framing or trapping them together. Like Handon. I mean that’s totally MaliLandon, so this pointing out is not mean to be romantic. It’s just a thought about how devastating that Cleo is stuck in something her whole life, especially the picture structure that implies that she’s stuck with MaliLandon again.

33) overall I’m thinking this is a good and disgusting episode. With all the unexpected twist, it’s really good, there’s actually layers in showing us that Landon is not Landon every time. Then those bonding. The soundtrack, the scenes. Disgusting, is about the theory, and how we are all tangled back to Handon again after we finally have some fresh air. Not to mention the always surprisingly convenient that Landon always has an excuse when we see Landon did something bad to Hope. Like he can never be making big mistake while only having little questionable doings that can’t possible tarnish him being the perfect person in the show. The first time he lies, Malivore controlled him. During the pageant competition, he is justified to walk away when he totally chose the wrong timing to ask that question, leaving Hope alone breaking in front of such important event. 207, monsters are coming for him, he’s protecting people by leaving. Musical episode, he needs to cross boundaries because it’s bound to be, without further reasoning it with Hope, when Hope specifically was very respectful of him in 111 about his songs. And now, this. That’s not him, we can’t blame him. He will never be blame for something big because the writers is biased. Very biased in making that Landon is better than anyone else in the show, so he’s the perfect guy for Hope. Like no one can compare with him. He’s almost perfect. Perfect than Hope.

34) Reflect on what Hope did in 308, MG is kind of right, she shouldn’t have touched it without fully prepared. Because it totally let Malivore running out free instead of him being an originally contained problem. It’s for the good view in whole. Heroes make hard decisions. There’s still the hair thing cut from Hope and Golem!Landon.

These pictures is my work, while it’s easy to get it yourself, and not that I’m professional in doing this. But I still did screenshot them one by one and did some editing. So please like or label the sources when you save or use it. ♥️

[lavenderbexlatte]

keeping watch

stray kids 1.4k words female reader insert Reader x Lee Minho EXPLICIT/NSFW

🖤 warnings: semi-public sex, marking, mild degradation, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, use of pet name ‘kitten’ 🖤

🚨🚨 banter and desecration of the jype practice room

connect with me! / masterlist

You should have expected something like this to happen, when you were called to the studio so late at night.

Felix and Hyunjin had called you just as you were getting unready for the evening, fully intending to sit in bed and watch videos on your phone until you fell asleep. But the call came in, and the two other members of the dance line sounded pretty damn concerned when you answered the phone.

Minho’s overworking himself, they said. He’s been doing the same choreography for hours because he keeps missing a beat, and he won’t let himself stop until he does it right. You had told Hyunjin to just fucking tell him to stop, but the boys would not let it go. Apparently, it’s all your job, as his girlfriend, to make him quit it. As if anyone can reason with Minho when he’s really in the zone.

But no; as soon as you arrived, Felix and Hyunjin called it a night, saying that they have schedules in the morning and can’t deal with this anymore. Which, in hindsight, is a very good thing.

Because right now, you’re hoping to God that nobody comes into the practice room.

The bright overhead lights are off, but the little ones over the entertainment center and along the counters are on, casting the two of you in a strange half-light. You’re sat on the floor in front of the enormous mirrored wall, pants gone, legs open so you can see far more of yourself than you’re used to seeing.

Minho is pressed behind you so that you’re between his legs, still fully dressed in his comfy practice clothes, holding your thighs open with one hand. Your legs are thrown over his to either side, and your head lolls back onto his shoulder.

“You’re not watching, kitten,” Minho chides. “If you’re not looking, I’ll stop.”

Well, you don’t want him to stop. You peel your eyes open, and focus your gaze on your reflection.

Minho has two fingers working into your slick pussy, and you have to watch as he scissors and stretches you open, pulls out to drag his wet fingers over your clit. The sound of it is enough to make your cheeks burn in shame, but you can’t look away. You don’t want him to stop.

“So pretty,” he murmurs, “So dirty.”

You yelp as Minho sinks his teeth into the soft skin of your neck, nibbling a bruise into your flesh as his fingers pump into you in perfect time. It makes your head spin, exactly how quickly the night turned from a half-hearted argument to get Minho to go home to this, so exposed and all for him.

“We’re gonna get caught and I’m gonna get killed by your manager,” you hiss.

“We won’t get caught if you stay quiet,” Minho replies.

You’re not so sure about that. There might be cameras in here, for fuck’s sake, but you assume Minho’s not that stupid. He had better not be, you steam, as you scan the ceiling line of the room for the security cameras that might or might not be catching all of this.

Minho bites you again, bringing you back from your paranoia. He seems determined to send you home covered in marks, that brat. You tilt your head a little just to see the smattering of brand-new purple bites along your throat, dark and plentiful enough that you have no idea what you’re going to wear for the next week to cover them.

“Focus, kitten,” he smirks.

“You’re not giving me enough to make me cum,” you whine, “You’re just doing this to torture me!”

“Who said anything about cumming?” Minho replies.

“I could walk right out of here,” you threaten.

“You would never.”

As if to prove it, Minho crooks his fingers inside you just right, and you buck your hips into his hand, letting out a strangled gasp that’s just on the edge of too loud.

“What did I say about keeping quiet?” he chastises, and you simmer.

He’s just taking out his bad day on you, and though you’ve been vocally and enthusiastically consenting the whole time (and still are!) you wish he wasn’t quite so happy to tease and provoke you. You know Minho, and you know that he’d gladly edge you for the rest of the night, if he’s in that kind of mood.

Thankfully for you, but unfortunately for your knees, that doesn’t seem to be the plan. While you’re still reeling from the pleasure, Minho pulls his fingers out completely, and slides out from behind you.

“Hey!” you protest.

“You’re fine, keep it down,” Minho grins.

And with that, he dumps you right over onto your front, elbows and knees meeting the hardwood of the practice room floor with a thud. You look up at yourself in the mirror, now so close to your nose, and you look like an absolute mess. Shirt rucked up around your chest and bare ass in the air, it’s painfully obvious to anyone who might walk by what’s going on.

“I still want you to watch, kitten,” Minho tells you.

He’s getting into place on his knees behind you, clothes still on but his joggers shimmied down his thighs so that he can fist his erection unencumbered. You can see him do it, in the mirror, his cock in hand as he kicks your thighs further apart and settles between them.

You whine a little. “But I look so-”

“So good?” Minho interrupts, “Yeah, I think so too.”

You were going to say ‘fucked up,’ but the sudden praise from Minho when he’s been so bossy all night is a welcome change, so you just accept it and preen a little, silently.

“Tell me again, what do you need to do?” he prompts you, leaning into you so that his cock drags against your pussy and makes you hiss at the sensation.

“Be quiet,” you say, through gritted teeth.

“And?”

You meet his eye in the mirror, and he looks so supremely self-satisfied that you almost want to turn around and tackle him to the floor, just take what you need for yourself if he’s gonna be so difficult. But you don’t.

No, you just spit out, “And watch myself.”

“There you go, kitten,” he praises. “Not so hard to remember, huh?”

Minho lines himself up against your entrance, and you want him so fucking badly that you can’t even conjure something suitably sarcastic to say in return. He’s hot and dripping against you, and you push your hips back against him until he laughs at you.

“Fine, fine. Needy,” he murmurs, and he pushes into you.

The first slow, deep slide into you is always the best, but here, like this, watching Minho’s eyes flutter shut as he holds fast to your hips and chews on his pouty lower lip, you think this might just be the best of the best yet.

“Watch yourself, not me.”

You roll your eyes at Minho as he corrects you yet again. “D’you think this is what Felix and Hyunjin wanted when they called me up?”

“I think they expected it,” Minho quips. “Disappointed but not surprised.”

The pace he’s set is leisurely and absolutely torturous, so deep but so slow. It’s not until he settles a hand on your lower back and makes you bend just slightly that you feel it – that perfect drag over your inner walls, and your eyes screw shut as a moan leaves your lips before you can stifle it.

“Min – there!” you whine, louder than you mean to.

Instantly, there’s a hand clapped over your mouth, Minho’s front pressed to your back as he reaches to shut you up. It startles you, and you glance up to meet his exasperated face in the mirror.

“I literally gave you two instructions and you can’t do either!” he complains. “Shut up or we’re really gonna get caught!”

“Don’t tell me to shut up!” you whisper furiously against his fingers.

Minho keeps his hand right there, clamped over your lips, his hips still driving into you as he supports himself with his ridiculous core strength. He still looks unimpressed, but his catlike eyes are bright and carefree, and that’s when you know that you’re in trouble.

“If you do that again I’m leaving you here and neither of us get to cum,” Minho tells you nonchalantly. “Stay quiet. And keep watching yourself.”

[veilchenjaeger]

Listening to the Eurovision playlist on Spotify, so here are my subjective verdicts in hindsight:

Ukraine's song is incredibly good and really deserved the win. It's super catchy, very creative, and does a banger of a job combining rap with traditional sounds. I'm not getting this song out of my head anytime soon; it just fucks hard.

UK's song is good, but really did not deserve to place this high. This is a mid-range song. It's not as generic as some other songs, it's quite fun, but it's still something that would be played over and over on the radio even without Eurovision, and I just don't think that a regular pop song should win Eurovision basically ever.

Same thing for Spain. I like this one a bit better than the UK's bc it has more energy! This song is a bop, it does creative things with music, and it definitely deserved some points. But it's far from original enough to end up in the Top 3.

Sweden was... a little boring imo. It's not a bad song, but I really don't get why it got so many points. She has a very good voice and the music is good, but neither the song nor the performance were actually memorable. I have no idea why the hell the juries gave this so many points. I guess they really go for songs that would make nice non-offensive radio songs, which is absolutely not what the juries should do imo.

Serbia is probably my personal #1 favourite. The message, the performance, the music - everything is coherent, creative, and just very good. Plus, while a lot of songs were good, Serbia's entry was art. Speaking of juries - I think it's fine that there are juries, but they should reward originality and artistic value. Read, they should have voted for Serbia this time and that the juries voted for generic pop songs instead of the one using music, imagery, and wild things like references to architecture to chillingly convey an important message really drives the point home that the juries care more about marketability than about art. Which is the opposite of what the jury vote should be about. Anyways, the popular vote was correct as fuck to make them the song to initially kick UK to second place.

I liked Italy's performance and I get why it placed high bc it was Very Homoerotic, but the song is too slow and repetitive for a Eurovision entry imo. I'm personally a little bored by it.

MOLDOVA! This is not a song that should win imo. But it's catchy, fun, and really fucking stupid, and that should always be rewarded in Eurovision. The points they got from the audience also were a huge "Fuck you" to the boring jury decisions, so I'm very glad they placed high.

I'm super biased towards Greece because I just put this on my Bingqiu playlist. (Despite some lines not working that well for them, the vibes of the chorus are just off the charts in their Bingqiu-ness.) Trying to be objective here - I don't think it's a Top 10 song. It's really not creative enough for this. I also wish they had sent a Greek song! Nalyssa Green for Eurovision 2023. But I do really like this song, it's definitely less generic than many others, and the lyrics fuck.

Unpopular opinion bc it's a ballad, but I liked Portugal's entry. The music is just catchy enough to be interesting, the singer's voice is beautiful, and the vibes are quite unique. Not a winner song, but I'm not mad about them being in the Top 10.

Norway deserved to place higher for vibes alone. The song is catchy and fun, but not good enough to actually win imo. The sheer chutzpah of putting a group of bright yellow wolf mask furry people on stage to sing about grandmas and bananas and be weirdly sexual about wolves tho? As well as literally the entirety of this fever trip of a performance? Deserved every single point it got and more.

The Netherlands sent a song that tragically hits my music taste, and the singer has a good voice, too. I like it a lot, but it's not memorable enough for Eurovision. This placement is alright imo.

Look. I had to look up which country sent this song (it's Poland) - I just remember the weird water ghosts that I liked about the performance. This absolutely is my type of music and I'll ponder the lyrics for a bit in case it fits any playlists, and it's good too! It's just also not super memorable at Eurovision. The singer does sing very well though and that deserved points.

I remember Estonia's guy just being very fun on stage, he has a good voice, and the Western vibes of this song are really fun. It's catchy, too. It's also not super memorable tho, so this is a good placement for this song.

I really liked Lithuania! Sending a Lithuanian chanson was a Decision and I fucking loved it. I think this should have placed higher. It's more memorable than Poland, Estonia, and the Netherlands for sure. It's also a pretty creative kind of catchy!

Okay, I'm pretty conflicted about Australia. The topic of the song hits hard, the aesthetics and the outfit were on point, and it was gay. All of these are reasons why I think Australia should have gotten way more points from the public. But it's also a quite generic ballad, so... music-wise, I'm not a big fan.

That being said, Azerbaijan's song has the originality of a slice of white bread and that they got so many points from the juries is a fucking crime.

I nearly missed the transition from Azerbaijan's song to the Switzerland song just now, and that says everything. I feel sorry for this guy bc he looks kind and 0 points from the audience hits hard, but on the other hand... this song is very boring. I also just don't think that "Men have emotions" is as much of a controversial statement anymore as they seem to think.

Romania was good, actually! The song is a bit generic and not Top 5 material or anything, but it's catchy and the performance was really fun. The performance was also gay, which is vitally important. This deserved to place higher. Above Azerbaijan and Switzerland for sure.

I also liked Belgium! Again, not the most original song, but it's well-made and fun, and the chorus is quite catchy. This is a solid mid-range Eurovision song and I think it should have placed a little higher as well.

Armenia sent generic US-style pop and was punished for it. This is a Meghan Trainor song, just less catchy. The performance was cute, and the song is cute as well, but it's not creative in any way. Sorry, fun girl, but this did deserve a low placement.

Idk if that's an unpopular opinion bc Finland did send important rock representation again, but... this is a boring song, especially compared to other Finnish entries over the years. Send more metal, Finland! That works better!

Dear Czech Republic, you're meant to change your bed covers now and then, anyways. But I think this is too catchy to place this low, actually! This is solid, fun Europop! It wasn't the most memorable song either, though, and the amount of electronics in this song is slightly annoying to me personally. Didn't deserve to come 22nd, but also didn't deserve a Top 10 spot or anything.

Uh, again a bit of an unpopular opinion, I think - Iceland's performance was nice and I would listen to this song bc it's very much my taste in music, but it's too boring for Eurovision. It's a very nice song in retrospect, but I get why it didn't get many points. Eurovision is partially about the first impression, and this is a song you listen to on a long, calm night at home. It did not deserve to place this low, though. There are worse and much more boring songs that placed much higher.

OKAY, SO WE ALL AGREE THAT FRANCE WAS FUCKING ROBBED????? Seriously, France for the first time in, like, human history sends a song that is not a French chanson or a generic pop song, and they come in twenty-fucking-fourth?! They did not deserve this. The Breton language did not deserve this. I think the performance was better than the song, strictly speaking, but the song is creative and does the crucial Eurovision thing of combining modern and traditional sounds, and it really should have gotten a Top 10 spot at least. I expected them to get so many audience points. This proves that the audience isn't always right, either. Seriously, people? Y'all like fucking Azerbaijan better than this?

I never, ever wanted to be assaulted by the pinnacle of boredom that is German radio during Eurovision of all times. German radio is where creativity goes to die, and I can already see myself strangling myself with the seatbelt the next time I'm in my mum's car and this song comes on for the 20th time in two hours of listening to the same damn radio station. The rapping/speaking was a silver lining here, but it really cannot save this song. A deserved last place. Well done, Germany, you worked hard to defend this spot.