#i was born to suffer

[oddball08]

Kent After the War

TW: PTSD, Kent trying to adapt after the war. He slaps Vincent at one point. :(

just a little head cannon drabble after I noticed Kent lingering near the sidelines during the flower dance when I was dancing with my lovely wife Haley.

Thinking about Vincent not being sure whether or not to call Kent Daddy, Dad, or just Kent.

Thinking about Jodie getting annoyed by Kent going through a panic attack because she was popping popcorn.

Thinking of Kent standing at the edge of the dinner table not sure if he could sit next to Sam or not.

Thinking of Sam awkwardly sitting next to Kent on the couch watching a show because Kent wants to bond but has no idea how.

Thinking of Kent standing outside of the house smoking feeling guilty because he'd promise Vincent he'd stop.

Thinking of Kent feeling guilty about snapping at Vincent and Jodie for being loud one morning after he was up all night due to insomnia.

Thinking of how his children don't know how to react to having a father again.

Thinking of how his wife doesn't know how to react to having a husband again.

Thinking of how big spaces make Kent anxious which makes it hard to go to events like the Flower dance. (He still does cause Vincent wanted him to go)

Thinking of Vincent asking him to play battle with his plastic soldiers and he has a panic attack in the middle of playing.

Thinking of Kent crying after the farmer gives him a photo of his fallen comrade during the pirate quest.

Thinking of Kent framing the photo and putting it next to the family portrait in the hall to remember to be grateful he's still alive. (He feels guilty every time.)

Getting in arguments with Jodi over chores and one time he makes her cry, and he feels his heart shatter.

Getting really angry at Vincent one time for not picking up his mess that he smacked him. Jodi was pissed and Kent left for the night.

Vincent flinching every time Kent goes to pat/hug/touch him for a while after that.

Vincent making sure that his messes are picked up every time his dad comes home.

Kent knowing he's being distant with his family and being a bad father/husband, but he cannot get the flashes of hundreds dying from behind his eyelids.

Kent not being able to take off his uniform jacket with his carinal patch on it; constantly reminding him of all the lives he was responsible for. All the people he "let down" by letting them get injured or dead.

Kent who goes to his shed every day because he can feel the tension whenever he's home and makes bombs because he doesn't know what to do anymore.

Kent who notices the look in the farmers eyes during his late-night smoke breaks, seeing the exhaustion that only comes from battle and sends them the bombs the next day; hoping that it'll help the farmer in future battles.

Kent watching his sons hang out with his friends and feeling heart shattering guilt that he doesn't even know the friend's names.

Kent smiling as he watches his wife walk out the door, going to aerobics with the rest of the women in the town. (Trying and failing to ignore the sinking feeling of being so alone now that she's gone).

[earth2audiee]

oh to be sent off to a vacation home every summer and have silly adventures with my friends while we uncover the secrets of the beach

[auggietheautisticvampire]

[mbrainspaz]

me after spending 14 hours, 7 days a week, doing grueling dangerous manual labor in the fields in 120F degree heat for an ungrateful distant corporation that would betray me for a corn chip: Okay. Good day. It sucked but I got through it and triumphed against the most hostile conditions known to man, and that feels good. Time for a well earned beer.

me after spending 2 hours stuck at my corporate office desk with nothing at all to do, trying to look busy when my friendly boss stops by, eating my favorite jelly beans and listening to an audiobook: KILL ME! LET ME DIE. I CAN'T KEEP SUFFERING LIKE THIS. THE MURDERBOT DIARIES SHOULD NOT BE THIS RELATABLE

[sadgirlautumn]

Me right now:

[apple-pie-fly]

im trying to get more comfortable with drawing fanart but its still kind of hard :'3 idk why im like this

its kind of hard to get what i want in terms of a character's, well, character. it's like they're always a bit off from what i imagine them being like. i hope this problem gets solved with just doing more fanart!

[erikkarlsson]

i will nuke las vegas off the face of this earth

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

[spidey-bie]

I've never written a fic about Techpunk on my whole Tumblr page and that's a downright shame😔

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met

[vaperarmand]

david tennant do you want me dead.

[monakisu]

light gets it from his mom… “it” as in “two-faced backstabbing snakery” ˘ᗜ˘🐍

(late) gift 3/3 for my secret santa @llawlieta !!! for ur prompt of yagami family Fucked Up goodness ( ͒•·̫|💚🍭🎀 hope u enjoy!! HAPPY HOLS! * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊

[nancycramps]

waking up in pain from hunger bank account -$30 credit card maxed out no food in the house no weed and i have to go to work and cook for people while starving and my coworkers keep asking if i’m ok but i’m too embarrassed to tell them i can’t afford to be alive bc somehow they’re all making it work

[arachnerd-8-legs]

really disappointing that bunjywunjy had to be pestered twice just to quietly remove their reblog after using their huge platform to encourage garbage like raving about the lesbian estonian soviet flag and how 'new pride flag just dropped' so people could go 'ooh pretty' about a flag that was forced onto us by ppl who wanted our culture gone and oppressed us for about a century in total if not more.

to say nothing or not show anything of the truth about that flag and quietly remove the reblog felt more like it was done out of obligation (and you didn't agree) rather than care for the subject matter that is still a fresh wound in our country's memory. it's only been 33 years since it ended.

I'd rather you make the mistake about something you didn't know (eastern european history is easy for westeners to overlook, because we're not a big country like them, we're not england or france or spain or germany) and admit/apologize for said mistake or even just outright state that you don't actually care rather than say nothing and quietly remove something so that people would stop talking about it

[fairuzfan]

For Liefer to pull up a Camus quote like this is quite laughable because of how the dynamics mirror each other. In the modern day, we have a status quo where Palestinians continue to be imprisoned and murdered and raped and segregated, denied basic medical care for years on end, all on their own land — while Jewish Israelis (to make distinction from Palestinians with Israeli citizenship, as many liberal zionists love to point out) suffer no consequences for anything, even if they play a direct role in the continued erasure and genocide of Palestinians. So if given a choice between suffering no consequences while benefiting from the status quo (that will not change unless the oppressed take it upon themselves to change their circumstance) and suffering consequences in the form of direct personal loss (with the strategy of forcing things to change by ennacting the same type of violence that the occupied experience on a daily basis onto the occupiers), of course someone who stands to lose nothing from the continuation of the status quo would rather the status quo continue if he has something to lose otherwise. Camus, when he said this quote, was not being righteous or overly sensitive. If anything, it shows how little he understood at the time of saying this quote. Because he didn't understand that an Algerian will suffer in both scenarios even if he (Camus) is safe, and for him to say something like this when people lived generations worth of violence for his and his family's (social) benefit is annoying and just plain offensive. Who is he, as a Frenchman born in occupied Algeria, to say what is worth justice when he only stands to lose anything in one scenario but not the other? He did not experience life as an Algerian native in French occupation. He might have observed it, growing up poor, yes, but he never LIVED it. Liefer might have observed the horror of settler colonialism, but that's nothing like experiencing it firsthand. To be the object of hatred to people who have higher status and more rights than you. It's just not his place as a person with nothing to lose if the status quo continues to comment on anything like this. What's the underlying meaning of this quote? "I'd rather others continue to suffer than myself experiencing suffering once."

I'm not saying Liefer doesn't have a right to mourn whoever. Im not even saying he has a duty to accept the consequences he experiences. But to say something so heartless as "I prefer the safety of my own rather than justice" within the larger, nearly century worth of context, is just insensitive and really belies his true opinions of the liberation of Palestine if he's so comfortable saying this outloud with moral authority in the middle of what is an outright bloodbath of Palestinians across Palestine. It's the timing of saying something like this because to say it now of all times when the entire world ignores or even encourages the violence in Gaza but mourns the death of Israelis? An Algerian born Frenchman and Israeli are going to be mourned on an international scale... but Palestinian and Algerian natives? Their deaths are regarded as facts of life by the rest of the world.

This makes it seem like I hate Camus, but I honestly don't, but I think the way Leifer is holding this quote up at face value and as the height of reason really is annoying. People like to mention Camus' "if" in this case as proof that he's actually saying "this is not real justice so therefore I do not have to accept it," but who is he to say what is or is not justice? The point I'm getting at is the people who benefit from occupation, in this case, Camus and Liefer have no right to determine what is or is not justice, despite their personal beliefs. The occupier has no right to tell the occupied what they should do to get freed. That alone is an arrogance in assertion that is so offending — the assertion that the occupier knows how to free the occupied in what *he* considers justice and the occupied just need to do whatever the occupier tells them to do. Because whether they both like it or not, they still benefit from and are part of the occupying force, and therefore have no real reason to fight the occupation at their own expense — the occupation is a violence that they are alright with inflicting if it means they cannot lose anything or anyone.

Also the idea that liefer indirectly compares himself to Camus is a little funny to me.

[ilianazzzfanofblogs]

They all need therapy tbh. They all suffered so much ;(