#i was at a cousin's graduation party and i cannot believe i was allowed to be there like. as myself

[perilegs]

i think i'm the perfect family gathering babysitter bc i LOVE hearing people just go off about whatever topic and children LOVE doing that

[whatwouldmindykdo]

I wrote a little something about coming to terms with my sexuality and thought I’d share it here...

For as long as I can remember I’ve dreamt of my wedding day. As soon as I was able to comprehend the concept of wedding and marriage it became my only goal, my ultimate achievement: I wanted, I needed to get married. This would make me successful and prove my worthiness. I would be happy forever. And so, for years, I’d spend hours imagining the magical day: the dress, of course, and its designer, the venue, the guests, the music, the menu, the bridal party, the decor. And of course, the groom. Because it was always a groom. However, I would find it extremely difficult to imagine him. I could think of qualities I would look for in a partner, but that was it. Looking back now, I think that, more than any of these things, what I dreamt of was being loved and being in love. I was just hoping to find the kind of unconditional love I grew up surrounded by. Not a person but a feeling. An ideal. 

I grew up in what you would probably call a liberal family. My parents are very open-minded, left-wing voters and I grew up having political debates at the dinner table. But it was always about tolerance. Every love is love, they would say. Everyone deserves to be happy, they would say.

This, however, was not true for them growing up. Both my parents grew up in working class families and worked their way into the middle class. As liberal as my parents are, their own parents were rather conservative in thought. 

My father’s parents had grown up on farms. Their own parents, my great-grandparents, lived a life I cannot even begin to comprehend. After the Second World War, as life was changing everywhere, and especially in the countryside, my grandparents left for the city (well, a city, not THE city) to work in factories. They were deeply religious and my father was raised a Catholic. However, he also enjoyed great freedom. He was free to come and go, almost as he wished, to play with his brother and friends. He was free not to work in school, drop out after middle school and go on to work with his father. Which he did, for a while, until he realized he didn’t want to do that his entire life. In other words, he was free to fail, and try again. Would it had been the same thing had he been a girl? We will never know, as he was one of two boys. 

My mother, on the other hand, was not. Her grandparents had been mining workers, as almost everyone in the area. Her own parents had been saved from this life, and pushed to look for work in other industries. They had married young and my mother was the eldest of two. Her parents were heavily involved in political and union movements, pushing for workers’ rights. This gave her an awareness of the political situation and an ideal of what is achievable when you work for it. My mother, however, is also a woman. And as such, her parents expected her to behave a certain way. 

She was expected to be the perfect little girl. Calm, pretty, smiling. Not to take too much space. Do well in school. Be polite. And so my mother tried her best to be this ideal girl. She excelled in school, practiced many sports, and took it upon herself to keep the family together and happy. She eventually went on to work and had to move out to another city, but always close to family as she was sharing an apartment with her aunt. When she found another job closer to her parents, she moved back home. Eventually, she met my father. They dated for a couple of years, but moving in together was unfathomable. Not before marriage. And that’s how my parents ended up married without having ever lived together, something I honestly find quite hard to imagine. Her brother, on the other hand, lived a life closer to my dad’s. He could not roam the streets or drop out of school but he did leave high school without graduating, moving out to work away and never looked back. He introduced many girlfriends to his parents before eventually having a child and getting married, in that order. 

My parents would probably tell you that they raised me and my brother the same way. That not more was expected of me. That I could do the exact same thing he did. And to some extent that is true. We were both expected to excel in school. To be polite and respectful. We were both told we could dream of being whoever we wanted to be. But what had been instilled to my mother was also, somehow, perhaps more sneakily, taught to me. I also had to be the perfect little girl, no excuses. The one that doesn’t move. The one that doesn’t scream or make a scene. The one that helps at home. As Michelle Cliff says in Notes on Speechlessness, ‘I am reminded that a great compliment of my childhood was: ‘she’s such a quiet girl’’.

Instead of rebelling against this system I made it mine: it was my way of taking up space. My way of being remarkable. I was expected to excel at school: I was top of the class. I was expected to be calm and discreet: I would literally never speak. Even today it takes a lot for me to be able to do things I know my parents disapprove. Because I have built myself through others’ approval, and then who am I once they don’t approve? 

What does that have to do with being a lesbian, you may wonder. See, I knew about lesbians. I knew about gays. It was not entirely unknown to me. I saw them on the news, we talked about them at home. But no one in my family was gay, lesbian or part of the LGBTQI+ community, at least not openly. That was not what we did. As much as my family rebelled against capitalistic society, we were expected to conform in certain areas, and this was one. We, as a family, are heterosexuals. And so I unconsciously associated being a good girl to being heterosexual. 

I don’t remember the first time I heard of the LGBTQI+ community, nor do I remember the first time I had a crush on a girl. I am quite sure she was my primary school best friend. I very clearly remember wondering whether I was in love with her or whether that was just how you felt for your best friend (hint: I kinda knew the answer). And so, little me moved on with life. Eventually the feeling wore out, and there was a very intense and dramatic fall out. But that was it, no more questions about my sexuality. Not until I was well into my teenage years, at least. When I made it to university I had began what I would call my transformative journey, learning extensively about feminism, inclusivity and human rights. I was passionate about these subjects and wanted to learn more, and more. I surrounded myself with people who were open-minded, teaching me about these very topics, and, for some of them, part of the LGBTQI+ community. At about this time I began identifying as pansexual or bisexual. I have never been really sure about this. There was no major coming out though. I just stated here and there that I thought love was about a person and their soul, not their gender. Even though I was identifying as pansexual / bisexual, the doubt never really left. I felt ill-at-ease with the identification. Maybe I’m not into labels, I’d think. Maybe. 

Deep down, I knew. I think I’d always known. I would get major crushes on women in films and TV shows. Maybe that’s just identification. I could hardly imagine being in a relationship with a man. Maybe I just haven’t met THE one. I would feel uncomfortable whenever a man flirted with me. Maybe I’m just not into him. 

I just couldn’t imagine being a lesbian. And that’s not to say that I could fathom the very existence of lesbians. I knew they existed, I had a friend as they say. I truly believed that all love is love. What I couldn’t accept was that I was a lesbian. How could I not like men? Good girls like men. Good girls are straight. Good girls get married TO A MAN, and have children WITH A MAN. No way. I must be pansexual. Or bisexual. Not lesbian. 

Funnily enough, the pandemic was a big transitional time for me. I was able to truly connect with myself. Away from the world and the mundanities of everyday life, focusing on what really matters for the first time, I came to a realization. I do not like men. I do not find pleasure in imagining a relationship with a man. This realization was validated by experience. I signed up on a dating app (what??? I know, don’t judge). My immediate reaction was to set up my preferences to women  only (that should have been another hint right?!). However, almost immediately I changed those preferences to everyone (men and women). Why? Because, I thought, by excluding men I might miss out on the one (he’s always somewhere). What if I miss on the opportunity of happily ever after because I renounce to dating half of humanity? And oh boy did I regret that. I was instantly contacted by half the male population of my surroundings (the joys of being on a dating app) and it really felt like it was not for me. I was feeling miserable rather than happy, anxious rather than excited. I switched back to women only and I have felt safer and more myself ever since. 

I guess you could say that I have been feeling rather at peace with who I am. I have come out to a few (selected) friends, in the least dramatic way possible (well, they also are the least dramatic women I know). There remains the question, however, of coming out to family. Because although I have come to term with being a lesbian, I am still scared AF when it comes to coming out to my family and the main reason is: what if I am not lesbian after all (eye roll emoji)? The real reason, though, is that I know that as open-minded as my parents are, a coming out also means a period of adaptation, of understanding what it means exactly. And for someone like me who hates both confrontation and disappointing this feels like a big deal. Selfishly, I wish someone had been there before in my family. That I would not be the first. The trailblazer. The odd one out. The lesbian aunt. But then, I think of my little cousins. And how I could be that person for them. If I allow myself past the fear. 

Thing is, I also truly believe that I will not be able to be fully happy until I come out. I will not be truly happy until I can be who I am fully, knowing that the people who accept it are the ones who love me, for real. But what if that means losing my grandfather? What if it means that people will literally never stop talking about it? 

As much as I have talked about the hardships of coming out and coming to terms with my sexuality, I will also mention that coming to terms with this reality has been a huge relief. It has opened me to a world where love and inclusion are legion. A world where you are accepted for who you truly are. It has given me role models, values and a political awareness that I probably would not have had otherwise. In other words, being lesbian is a blessing because it is who I am, fully. And when I get to be this person, I can finally start to breathe. I can finally start to live. 

My problem lies with mainstream culture and the way it portrays lesbian relationships. I have grown up with the ability of seeing gay couples loving each other, hating each other, flirting, breaking up. Mainstream media and popular culture have very much romanticized gay relationships. What of lesbian relationships then? The reality is completely different. And how could it not be when Instagram still censored the ‘lesbians’ hashtag two weeks ago? When we only have The L Word as a reference? Where on TV and in films have lesbians been given the space and time to actually develop a relationship except in that show? And I’m not even talking about the perfect, happy relationship. Just any relationship. More than 3 minutes of screen time. You’ll have to agree that this is rather recent. 

How different would my life have been if I had seen lesbian couples on TV? How different would my life have been if people had not shied away from lesbian relationships? It is time for pop culture to be inclusive of our people. Little girls need this representation. They need to know that this kind of love exists, is normal, and brings fulfillment. I wish this had been my reality so that I wouldn’t have been mad when Casey from Atypical dumps her boyfriend to explore her relationship with Izzie. Because then perhaps I wouldn’t have been mad at her for doing that. I wouldn’t have been mad at Izzie for being honest. Because that is how deeply rooted my fear of being a lesbian was: I was mad at these two women for having the courage to explore their feelings and be true to themselves, when Casey could have had the perfect ending with Evan. And that is not ok. I need to let go of the idea that the perfect life means being in a heterosexual relationship. Because I know that this is not for me. This will not bring me fulfillment. 

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Kat!

You have been accepted for the role of ISLA SELWYN-MACMILLAN! We really enjoyed reading the motivations behind Isla’s decisions to join the Order and stay in the Order. We like that she’d been questioning her place until the recent capture which, instead of pushing her away, ended up pulling her more in! We’re looking forward to having her on the dash!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: tis I kat

AGE: 25

TIMEZONE: est

ACTIVITY LEVEL: what are activity levels? It is here and there but I love yall and I am here for the long haul ya feel?

ANYTHING ELSE: I have experience writing overly sad things too late at night does that help my qualifications?

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Isla Slewyn-Macmillan

AGE: 25

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: cisfemale, she/her, asexual Isla has never felt the need for a sexual relationship. She feels some attraction at times but the thought of having a romantic partner at any point in time has never appealed to her.

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor

ANY CHANGES: nope

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY: 

Isla has never been weak. Never the type to be a wilting flower and yet she has had to play at it for most of her life. Her family always having been indulgent with her she was allowed the freedom to rebel as long as she toed the line that was so clearly set before her. She would rail against any kind of limitation given to her and yet she has always known her place. She has always worked her charms to get what she desired and when the reins were held too tightly a pretty smile or whispered word would loosen them once more. At least it lasted that way through her childhood. Lasted through her schooling. Through her short lived career as a beater. Limitation cannot be escaped forever though and the insistence of her parents to settle down. To take up the responsibilities that were hers by birth right had her wilting herself just a touch once more. 

Isla is known for her fiery spirit to those closest to her. Though her inner circle is small and those she places her trust in even smaller. On the outside to the world at large she Is a quiet proper young woman. Her fire shows through at times but it is tempered and she is the picture of what she was raised to be. She moves with grace through the elite in society. It is her natural birthright to do so and so she has no fears when attending a party. Whispered confidence wraps around her and she is prepared for all things that may be thrown at her.

Headstrong and vibrant she’s always been a leader. She has never known how to follow anyone else and perhaps that is part of the reason she harbors doubts about the order. She watches in dismay as the leadership seems to drive them more and more off course and she can’t help but wonder if she had more of a voice if it would be different. The inexperience keeps her quiet. Holds her tongue. She watches. Listens. Observes. Gains knowledge that she can pull out at a moments notice later.  

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: 

The golden child. Isla could do no wrong in the eyes of her family. They were well respected and it offered them more room to do as they wished. Isla grew up with that freedom. With the assurance that while others in her circle were nothing but a disappointment to their parents she was the only thing her family wished for. She grew with many cousins. All of them constantly at her home and she would play with them often. They would spend hours just running through the gardens and causing as much trouble as they could.

She was a happy child. A happy child all throughout her life. Even when she was sent off to school her parents would dote on her. They would encourage her in her odd endeavors. They would make special trips to attend the quidditch games that she insisted she loved more than anything. Her grades were kept up and the rebelling that she did in school was of little concern for a family such as hers.

They were the elite. The highest of the high or at least high enough that some odd quirks from the daughter wouldn’t be looked at too closely. She was raised knowing she was better. Knowing that those with blood not as pure as hers were of little value. Though she had never been raised to be cruel she did know the look of indifference. The refusal of regarding one who could not possibly hope to meet her level.

After graduating she rebelled still. Not wishing to settle down she decided to play Quidditch instead. She would do as she wished for after all she was the only daughter of one of the most powerful families. She played for several years happiness found in her victory on the field. When her star was starting to rise to a higher point though her parents put a stop to it. They could no longer allow her to act as she wished. It was time to take her rightful place in the world. It was time to marry.

Enter her closest friend Archie. The only one she could see spending so much of her life with though she knew she would never love him as a wife was to love her husband. It was with relief that she heard his confession. Marriage with him has been as much bliss as she could ever hope to find in such an arrangement and it has satisfied her family for now.

OCCUPATION: 

Housewife though the very thought irks her beyond imagining. She regrets that she no longer has her promising career but appearances must be kept regardless of if she has joined the order or not she must appear the perfect pureblood girl.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER: 

The thought of being part of something that is not supposed to be is a draw more than a deterrent for Isla. She has spent her whole life rebelling against the rules laid against her. Up to a point anyhow. The order represents something that she believes. At least it always used to. With each failure there’s a part of her that wonders if they made the wrong choice with joining. Her recent kidnapping though it was brief has left a foul taste in her mouth though. She knows they are on the right side. It has strengthened her resolve to make this work. That this is the way to keep the old ways from coming back. The old ways that she cannot stand to live in once more. The people in the order are good though she still sees the distrust in the eyes of some of those who surround her. She knows that her name is what they whisper about. So prominent a name in the order. The same ticket that would normally save her from any suspicion with her peers put her into suspicion with those she chose to work with.

Isla hopes that the order can be more successful in the future. The longer she resides in the order the more that she learns that she cannot turn back. This is her life now. This is her future. The fate of the order is to be her fate and most of her would have it no other way. She’s always been a fighter and she isn’t prepared to stop now.

SURVIVAL: 

Until recently Isla has moved among the two worlds with ease. Never having been suspected to be anything connected with the order and certainly not part of the death eaters she had lived her life in relative peace. Though the recent capture of her and her husband has her worried that the death eaters will start to look upon them with suspicion and she wonders if they should be preparing for more questioning.

RELATIONSHIPS: 

Isla first and foremost is loyal to Archie. Though she is the one in their duo always forging ahead and making the decisions his words are the ones she cares for most. She adores him more than anything and he is her ride or die. She wishes happiness for him but she fears that the romantic in him is going to land him into a world a hurt.

Isla adores Ryalnd more than she can even say. She has developed a sisterly relationship with him and she wants nothing more than to help him through the hard time that he has been having since returning to the fold. She fears that he won’t ever be able to fully move past it. She believes him to be one of the kindest people she has ever met.

She finds Andromeda to be a fascination. The woman was always a warning to her and the girls her age. The whispers of never doing what the woman has done were always present but Isla wants to get to know her more. She wants to learn the mind of woman.

The order overall is where her loyalty lies and she has proved it more than once. She still feels some friction with those in the inner circle but finds that she is able to move among those in mid and lower level positions with more ease. Perhaps even able to drop her guard just a touch around them.  

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: IslaxIsla? Idk lol I don’t see her as a ship character at all but if the chemistry is right she’s not opposed to falling in love.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Isla is well aware that she has lived a privileged life. She has known it her entire life and yet it was only when she joined the order that it was shown to her just how much has been handed to her. How much is still handed to her. She expects things to be given to her with ease. It has been that way all her life and she has never thought that it would change. She looks down upon those who are not pureblood because that is the way that she was raised. She is aware that the order fights for those who are the very ones she looks down on but she cannot help it. Joining the order was in part a selfish cause and she cannot drop everything that has been pushed into her since she could remember. Though she tries more now to be understanding. To now be quite so cold to those who surround her. After all most of her companions now are people she would never have dreamed of speaking to. She finds that she still tends to treat some of them life servants in a way. Ordering them about before catching herself and offering one of her signature smiles that would naturally wash her sins away. Isla is a hypocrite through and through. Once her outer shell is cracked and someone has wormed their way into her heart. Into her graces they can be anything they wish. Muggle born. Half blood somehow her affection for them covers those flaws that she would hold against anyone else.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? I love you guys so much I cannot control the need to pick up another character. I am looking forward to everything.

PLOT DROP IDEAS: I don’t know you guys. Yall were not very nice with the most recent happenings on the dash. <.<  

ANYTHING ELSE? I love you guys so much I cry.

[unsqeakable]

The Black Heir

Regulus Black: A pureblood wizard. The Heir of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. A husband. A teenager. A Death Eater. Desire for revenge leads him right into the Dark Lord's arms, and allows him to cross the boundaries that once crossed cannot be undone. All actions have consequencs and now it's time for him to pay for his sins in order to achieve absolution.

Regulus Arcturus Black was everything – and so much more – an aristocratic, pureblood family could expect from its future Head of House. He was a charming young man of extraordinary beauty, an incomparably accomplished wizard, but most importantly – Regulus wholeheartedly cherished the belief of supremacy of pureblood wizards over anyone else. His deep-rooted prejudice resulted in him joining the ranks of Lord Voldemort and receiving his Dark Mark. That included accepting as much of the responsibilities as he could take without raising the suspicions of his Hogwarts’ professors. Regulus was barely sixteen years old when he was recruited, but he contented to everything with the greatest dignity. He wanted to protect his people from the threat the Muggles and Muggle-borns caused. No matter the cost.

His parents – and, naturally, his eldest cousin Bellatrix Lestrange who was already, despite her young age, the Dark Lord’s lieutenant and who took pride in introducing him to her Master – were so proud when he announced to them that he was welcomed among the wizard’s followers. His cousin told them many incredible and fascinating stories about Lord Voldemort, so the idea that their beloved heir was fighting for the right cause filled their hearts with immense pride. Especially since their other child was the cause of great sorrow.

Regulus used to have an older brother. Sirius, who was an exceptionally talented wizard in his own right and who was even more handsome than he was, was still very much alive. To Regulus though, he was already dead. The older Black boy was disowned by their mother as soon as he ran away from their family home. Sirius dared to disgrace their noble name by associating himself with Mudbloods as he believed that they were equal with purebloods and that blood purity was good for nothing. He had no reasons to be listed among the proper members of their family anymore. Regulus was also furious and regretted deeply that the older wizard was able to dodge his curse. A blood traitor like him simply didn’t deserve to live.

“You’re nothing but a bloody fool,” he recalled himself hissing the words as soon as his mother excused herself from the hall, watching with deep satisfaction and hatred as the teenager's name slowly disappeared from the tapestry. The woman was so mad and heartbroken that she went to grab a bottle of Firewhiskey and drown her sorrows into it, not even being able to observe the process of disownment of her first-born child. “Are you proud of yourself that you’ve managed to break Mother’s heart? How could you choose the blood traitors over your own family! You better pray the Potters treat you well because I’m going to make you pay for your betrayal!”

“And pay he indeed will,” agreed a familiar, albeit unexpected, female voice. He immediately turned his head and saw a beautiful young woman in her early twenties who was leaning against the door frame. She had messy black hair and her dark eyes were full of contempt. “If that makes you happy, I will personally deliver his head to Aunt Walburga.”

“No,” he snapped suddenly, and his pale cheeks flushed with embarrassment when his cousin raised her perfect eyebrow at him. Regulus averted his gaze as he was aware that Bellatrix didn’t approve of being spoken to in such a tone. “Sorry. I appreciate your offer as I want to see him dead. But… this blood traitor is mine. I want to be the one who’s going to end his life, though, I want to make him suffer before this happens. A pathetic piece of scum like him doesn’t deserve any mercy.”

“That’s the spirit, Reggie,” the witch chuckled darkly and closed the distance between them. Then she hugged him warmly from behind, put her chin on his right shoulder and looked at his ex-brother’s name with disgust before she focused on yet another burned face. Her younger sister Andromeda was disowned a few years ago because she married a Mudblood. “I know some very deliciously forbidden curses that we can use on these blood traitors to teach them a lesson. Trust me, dear cousin, that the Cruciatus Curse, albeit utterly incredible, is like the Tickling Charm in comparison to them.”

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Regulus shivered with excitement at Bellatrix’s husky voice. She had always been his favourite cousin. She was the eldest among their generation of the Blacks – she was ten years his senior – and the other children always looked up to her. She was a model daughter. She always held herself with grace. She was the best student in her year. She was an accomplished duellist and her wand movement was a pure art. The youngest Black adored watching her cast spells and curses as she reminded him of an artist creating their greatest masterpiece. He aspired to be just like her.

“Will you teach me, please?” he whispered and turned to face her, momentarily focusing his eyes on her left forearm. Bellatrix wore a black dress with long sleeves but they both knew what was hidden beneath it: the Dark Mark. The witch joined the man known as Lord Voldemort soon after her graduation from Hogwarts and he took her under his wings. He opened the doors that had previously been closed even to the dark families like theirs. “Teach me every dark curse and spell you know, and I promise you that when I’m old enough, I will join your Master and help him to get rid of all Mudbloods from our world.”

A small smirk began to form on his cousin’s full, red lips and Regulus held his breath when flames of madness made and appearance in her eyes. Besides, she bent over and almost pressed her mouth to his ear.

“I will teach you, baby cousin of mine, as long as you promise to be a good boy and do as I say without any complaints,” she started in a musical voice. He swallowed as such a tone never meant anything good. “Disobey me and there will be severe punishment. I’m not going to waste my time if you’re not serious about this. Understood?”

“Yes,” he responded hastily. He wanted her to be proud of him. “I won’t disappoint you. I promise.”

And so, she taught him.

He had spent the rest of the summer holiday training under Bellatrix’s firm hand. She was a tyrant and a perfectionist. She forced him to train day and night improving his skills, allowing him to take only three short breaks to grab something to eat. He once dared to complain that he was exhausted and she, in accordance with her promise, disciplined him for that. She put him under the Cruciatus Curse and didn’t release him until she became bored of his screams. He learned his lesson, though, and since then he was a perfect student.

When he returned to Hogwarts to begin his fourth year, he was a changed boy. He was more withdrawn and barely spoke with his friends. Everyone assumed that it was because of what happened between Sirius and his family and he didn’t bother to correct them, even though the truth was different. He spent every single moment in an abandoned classroom in the dungeons where he practiced what his cousin taught him. His traitor brother was still at school with him, so he imagined that he was using the curses on him.

When he turned sixteen, Bellatrix took him to her Master who welcomed him in his ranks with open arms. Lestrange was his most faithful and devoted Death Eater, so it was assumed that he would follow in her footsteps. That day Regulus had a feeling that all of his dreams had come true. Lord Voldemort was… he was unable to find the right words to describe him. The man was everything. He was incredibly powerful – the young Black dared to say that the man was even more powerful than Dumbledore himself – and he was handsome. He was inspiring. He was… Lord Voldemort simply was and that was enough for him. Even breathing seemed to be much simpler when he was in the presence of the wizard.

However, a few things have changed since he became a Death Eater.

During the summer holiday before his last year at Hogwarts, at the age of seventeen, he got married to a French pureblood witch. Charlotte Delacour was a member of a very influential French family and the union between their houses would be highly beneficial for both parties. The girl was born the same year as he was, but she had never attended Beauxbatons Academy of Magic as she was home-schooled her entire life.

His wife was an extremely intelligent and beautiful young woman, and he was aware that many wizards were jealous of him and considered him a lucky man. He, on the other hand, thought something else. For him, the marriage was a punishment for some crimes he had no idea he had ever committed.

Regulus had known Charlotte for years before they tied the knot and there was even a time when he was enchanted by her but… everything changed when Sirius was disowned. His wife was supposed to marry the first-born son of Orion Black – his father – and that would be his brother. He was required to take his place to honour the contract.

He was furious when he was informed what was expected from him. He bluntly expressed his disagreement and agreed on the marriage only because his grandfather Arcturus Black, Duke of Lancaster, who at that time was the Head of their family, took him aside and threatened to disown him if he dared to disobey his orders.  

Disown him!

He had always been a model son and a member of their noble family. He had never dared to do anything against his Patriarch’s wishes. And yet, he was threatened with disownment only because his traitor of a brother neglected his responsibilities and chose the Mudbloods over his flesh and blood. He wanted to scream into oblivion and curse everyone around him. Fortunately, he was approached by Bellatrix who shared with him her words of wisdom.

“You must show her who’s the boss in the relationship,” she informed him matter-of-factly as soon as he had finished his tirade and she then took a sip of her Firewhiskey. “You must set certain boundaries and let her know what she can and cannot do.”

“And how am I supposed to do this?” he asked with a scorn and grabbed his own glass. “Put her under the Imperius Curse? Grandfather would definitely notice it and then he would disown me for sure. He really cares about the union between the families.”

“Putting the daughter of a respected Lord of a foreign country under the Imperious Curse would indeed be a stupid move, yes,” the witch agreed, and a cruel smirk made an appearance on her lips. “However, what I meant was intimidation. You must show her your strength. You must let her know that she’s nobody without you. Dominate her mentally, physically and, of course – sexually.”

“Did you… do the same with Rodolphus?” he hesitantly asked. His cousin’s husband was a very formidable wizard, but when he was in the presence of his wife, he always reminded him of a harmless puppy.

“What else did you expect, Reggie?” she asked with amusement and gently patted his hand. “The House of Black is the most powerful house in Britain. Did you really think that I would allow such a weak man to control my life?”

He unconsciously shook his head. Bellatrix was absolutely right. She must have been a fool to let her husband tell her what to do. The Blacks were the elite of the elite and everyone was aware of that. While in some other noble families – the Malfoys and the Lestranges immediately came to his mind due to his cousins’ marriages – the Head of Houses were titled as Earls, commonly referred to as “Lords,” then the Head of the House of Black was known as the Duke of Lancaster. The Muggles lived under a false assumption that the title of the Duke of Lancaster was always held by the current ruler of the British Monarchy (especially since it was merged with the Crown in the 14th century) but it wasn’t true. The Duchy of Lancaster, since the dawn of times, belonged to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. The Black bloodline had always been present in the British Royal family, as when wizards were forced into hiding the family married their Squibs into royalty to protect their families assets. Serving the family was a sacred thing to the House of Black, therefore, to erase their stain on their honour, the Squibs provided the family with security against the Muggles. Of course, all security measures were taken to make sure that the unmagical blood wouldn’t affect the continuality of their pure blood – magical and social disownment among them.

Regulus rubbed his forehead. Even the Dark Lord seemed to know that the Blacks are untouchable. The wizard had no problems with punishing his followers whenever they annoyed him, but he had never done anything to his cousin. What else, he respected her opinions and confided in her!

“Do as I told you, dear baby cousin of mine, and I promise you that the chit won’t even breathe without your explicit permission,” she continued and emptied her glass. “But if you’re not able to do this, then I’ll gladly take care of her.”

Regulus cringed at that. He wasn’t exactly sure what Bellatrix was doing – even though he had his suspicions – but when the Dark Lord needed to extract information from an exceptionally uncooperative opponent, he would call his cousin and she would take the person with her, and a few minutes later she would have all of the information he wanted.

“I appreciate your offer but…” He took a deep breath and looked at his interlocutor. “I know she used to be in contact with Sirius – and I think that she still is – and most likely still has some feelings for him but… I want her to be obedient, not traumatized for life.”

The woman simply shrugged and looked at her well-groomed nails.

“Do as you please. Just remember that I’m more than willing to put her in her place if you’re unable to do it.”

The youngest Black listened to his cousin and did as she advised him. He never dared to hit his wife, but he let her know from the very beginning that in his eyes she was inferior. During the wedding night, since the marriage required consummation, Regulus claimed what was lawfully his and didn’t even bother to ask Charlotte if she was all right afterwards. He was everything but gentle and loving back then, but he didn’t even care that he had ruined her first time.

Or any other for that matter, as they were sharing the bed only when he wanted to relieve himself. He made it obvious that she knew that now she belonged to him and not to his traitorous brother as she was supposed to.

When the summer holiday came to an end, Regulus was pleased. It was his last year at school and he awaited graduation because it would mean that he could commit himself fully to the Dark Lord’s services. He was the youngest Death Eater in the ranks – his school friend Severus Snape was a year older than him and already graduated – so he was unable to do much as most of the time he was at Hogwarts. Also, because he recently got married, he was asked to spend as much of his free time with his wife so he could provide the next follower. Regulus had no clue what he did to offend his Master to be punished in such a cruel way, but he was truly sorry for whatever it was.

However, by the time he was ready to accomplish his education, Regulus’ life turned upside down.

Arcturus Black had perished unexpectedly in early October and his father became the new Head of House and the Duke of Lancaster, which meant that Regulus was next in line for the titles. Obviously, he was aware that sooner or later he would become the heir apparent – especially since Sirius was out of the picture – but he had never thought that it would happen so suddenly. His grandfather was a man of good health, so his death took everyone by surprise.

Nonetheless, the biggest change happened in December – he finally realised what kind of idiot he really was.

Lord Voldemort summoned his followers for a meeting. A Christmas celebration. The Black Heir was eager to attend the assembly because he desperately craved his Master's presence. He noticed during his Hogwarts days that the longer he was away from the wizard, the more he thought about him and about the many ways in which he could impress him. His wife, of course, wasn’t thrilled by such a turn of events but she knew more than well that it was pointless to say anything. He made it clear to her that she should never question his choices.

At the beginning of the meeting, the wizard asked for a house-elf, so he, unsurprisingly, offered his beloved one – Kreacher – without hesitation. He was as proud as a peacock when his Master decided to take his servant, especially when he noticed that other owners of the house-elves looked at him with envy. Still, the boy’s satisfaction was short-lived because a moment later the Dark Lord announced the other reason of their summon, he wanted to award his faithful Death Eaters by giving them something special.

This “something” turned out to be a person. A young pureblood witch by the name of Annabelle Shafiq. A Ravenclaw girl in his year at school. The Black Heir was flabbergasted when his cheerful cousin brought her inside the room because he had no idea what was going on. But one thing was certain: he was terrified to see the girl beaten and tied up.

“Thank you for your help, Bellatrix,” said Lord Voldemort and turned towards the rest of his followers as soon as his cousin approached him and threw the girl at his feet. “Gentlemen… let me introduce you to Miss Annabelle Shafiq. Her father recently refused to support our goal, so this young lady is going to pay for his insubordination… I hope you’re going to enjoy yourself with her. Regulus, my dear boy, you stay away from it. I have a different task for you this evening. Bella will explain it to you shortly.”

“As you wish, my Lord,” he answered and bowed slightly.

He didn’t want to admit it aloud, but he was relieved when he heard the order. Annabelle was his Herbology partner and even though she was a pretty witch, he had no desire to sleep with her. Especially since he didn't have the right to do that. Moreover, watching as the others decided amongst themselves who was going to take her first was something he would rather avoid.

Lucius Malfoy, the husband of his other cousin, Narcissa, was the one who won the inglorious lottery. Regulus was aware that it wasn’t the right moment to think about it, but he wondered if his wife was aware what her husband was doing when she wasn’t around. He glanced at Bellatrix who stood next to the Dark Lord’s throne and watched with an unpleasant smile as her brother-in-law forced himself on the already naked girl. Apparently, when the Malfoy man was unbuttoning his robes, his fellow companions took care of Annabelle’s clothes.

“You know what’s the most amusing part of it?” Regulus unexpectedly heard Bellatrix’s voice next to his ear and he almost had a heart attack when it happened. He had no idea when she approached him, as he was observing his cousin’s husband. “Lucius actually believes that he is the first one to be inside the girl.”

“What do you mean?” He used the chance that his eldest cousin talked with him to look away – he didn’t want to watch what the others were doing but he was too afraid to show weakness in their presence – and hoped that he sounded confident.

“Our Lord believes, and I, naturally, agree, that I deserve the best, so he allowed me to have some girl-to-girl fun with the brat when we were waiting for your arrival. Virgins are so prude, don’t you think, dear? Though, your wife's French so maybe you're luckier in that department than the rest of us,” she informed him with a chuckle and put her hands on his shoulders. “Now, Reggie, dear baby cousin of mine… our Master is merciful and wishes to spare the girl more suffering. You can only imagine how traumatised she would be if we released her after the meeting… that’s why, once the boys are done with the whore, you’re expected to end her misery.”

His immediate thought was to defy the Dark Lord’s order which was to kill his Herbology partner, as Annabelle was a proper pureblood witch and didn’t deserve to be punished for her father’s decision, but upon quick reflection he decided that to disobey the order of the most powerful Dark wizard in history would be very foolish indeed.

“I serve to please our Lord,” he responded instead and forced himself to smile. “I’m honoured.”

He knew he was a coward. He had chosen his life over Annabelle’s and he felt ashamed because of the choice he made. But he was aware that the Ravenclaw would die today anyway, so he saw no reason in risking his own neck. He was not a foolish Gryffindor. He had dreams to accomplish and dying at such a young age would intervene with them. He also tried to justify his horrendous actions by thinking that he was saving Bellatrix’s life as well, as she would be forced to protect him if anyone – Lord Voldemort included – dared to raise their wand at him.

There was a hierarchy in pureblood families. The most important person in the family was, obviously, the Head of House. The Head was responsible for representing the family in the Wizengamot and the Head’s decision considering any matters in the family was law. Other members were obligated to fulfil whatever the Head wanted: that was one of the reasons why he accepted Charlotte as his wife. Furthermore, the Head of House had the power to disown or bring back members of the family as they pleased. The current Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black was his father.

The second most important person was the Heir (or the Heiress) apparent. The Heir was the future Head of the family and, after the Head, it was the person the other members were required to protect the most. If something happened to the Head, the Heir would become the leader of the family no matter their age. Currently, Regulus was the Heir, even though it was Sirius’ role before he was disowned. His disownment was crucial because if Orion died before his first-born child was disowned, Sirius would be untouchable and could change the family politics.

His cousin was a Lestrange now but since she has been a Black by blood, she was still obligated to protect him and his father.

“Regulus.” His Master’s voice unexpectedly brought him back down to earth. “It’s time.”

“Yes, my Lord,” he answered immediately, afraid that he could be punished for delay, and bowed slightly before he took his wand out of his sleeve and marched towards the deflowered witch. He cringed when his cousin offered him a wicked smile, imitating what she had done to his schoolmate.

He forced himself to return the gesture. He had no clue how much time had passed since Annabelle was brought to the room, as he was lost in his thoughts most of the time, but she looked terrible. Her body was covered in bruises, blood was running down her head, and she was curled up in the foetal position. She was crying, though no sounds dared to escape her bloodied mouth. Regulus assumed that she had previously been silenced.

The young Black Heir swallowed hard at the sight and anxiously licked his dry lips.

He was going to put her out of her misery. Soon, her unnecessary suffering would come to an end. She would be in a much better place. She would finally be safe. He was going to bring her salvation. He was the one who would save her.

Or so Regulus was trying to convince himself in order to silence his conscience.

He pointed his wand at his schoolmate. As soon as he did that, he could hear the excitement among his companions. He decided to ignore them.

He bit his bottom lip when he saw his hand shaking slightly. There was no time for weakness. Lord Voldemort could not see that he was scared! He was only bringing freedom. He should be confident!

He straightened up and took a deep breath to calm down his nerves, as he could hear his heart beating fast in his ears. He could do this. He would do this. He knew that failure was equal with severe punishment, or worse – death. He was too scared to die!

The incantation was easy to pronounce. He also knew how to properly cast the spell because his cousin made him practice it on the animals she had conjured up during their magic lessons. There would be no pain. He was not going to cause her any harm. He was going to stop the pain. The end would be quick. Faster than falling asleep.

He just had to say the curse aloud. Then everything would be over.

Annabelle, as if knowing that her death was near, lifted her bloodied head with difficulty. His grey eyes met her brown ones. Regulus’ heart stopped when he noticed that only emptiness was visible in them. Had she recognised him? He doubted it.

He closed his eyes. He was not able to look at her. But he had to finish it. Annabelle had suffered enough. It was time to release her from her misery. He re-opened his eyes.

“Avada Kedavra.”

The green light instantly escaped his wand and hit the girl’s body.

Regulus turned his gaze, as he was unable to look at his already dead friend. His companions, however, started cheering loudly the moment their Lord laughed cruelly. He stood quiet. He was shaking. He wanted to vomit. He wanted to disappear.

“I’m so proud of you, Reggie,” he heard Bellatrix’s joyful voice in his ear and a moment later her hands wrapped him in a familiar hug. But this time, he felt nothing. “You’re a good boy. You managed to pass your test. Our Lord is so proud of you.”

“Test?” he asked with confusion. Test? What test? He had no idea what was going on.

“Our Lord wished to find out if you’re ready to become a full member,” she informed him with a sincere smile. “Our Lord and I were aware that you knew the girl the moment she was taken. Everyone, but you, knew what was going to happen tonight, although the others had no clue who’s going to be present here this evening. They only knew that it’s someone you know. Lucius and some other guys thought that you would be too soft to kill your acquaintance. But I knew you were better than this. You won me a thousand galleons.”

Regulus inhaled sharply. He could refuse to kill and… he could live? They set him up? Did Annabelle’s father really reject Lord Voldemort's offer, or did they take her only because they knew each other? He had no idea what to think about it. He was still unable to comprehend what had just happened. He felt dizzy. He thought he was going to be sick.

He vomited as soon as he found himself at home. He didn’t even make it to the toilet. He just emptied his stomach in the living room the moment he left the fireplace. How he managed to stop himself from throwing up in front of everyone would forever stay an unsolved mystery.

Regulus went to the bathroom, paying attention to the fact that nobody else was at home. He wanted to take a shower as he felt dirty, but water didn't take his dirty feeling away. When he finally realised what he had gotten himself into, he couldn’t even look at himself. In absolute fury, he smashed the mirror in the bathroom because it reminded him of what kind of scum he was.

A murderer.

Ever since Sirius ran away from their family home, he used to think that he wanted to see him dead. That was a lie and he realised it just now. Sirius was his brother. He used to be his best friend. He wanted him to suffer as much as he did because he dared to abandon him. But now… when he finally killed his first victim… no. That was wrong. It felt wrong. He was wrong. He was not a murderer.

Unfortunately, he was. He murdered his Herbology partner. But he doubted he would be able to take another life. The problem was… being a Death Eater was a lifetime service. He simply couldn't hand over his resignation. Desertion meant death.

Regulus lowered his eyes. His hands were cut, and blood poured profusely from the wounds, but he did nothing to fix the damage. Instead, he turned on his heel and excused himself from the bathroom; broken glass was scattered on the ceramic tiles.

The next thing he did was to grab a bottle of Firewhiskey – for some reason, they had a lot of it in the house – and drown his sorrows into it. He naively believed that he would be able to forget what he did. But forget he could not.

The young Heir drank and drank and drank. The moment the current bottle was empty, he summoned another one and repeated the action every time there was nothing else at the bottom of it. He didn’t care that it was making him sick. He cared not that he and the sofa were covered in his vomit and blood. His capacity to care about himself was thoroughly exhausted.

One sip. Then another. His hand was raising at a steady pace, allowing him to empty the bottle. One sip after another, the Firewhiskey cascaded down his throat. Each sip an attempt to numb himself from the inside out. He wanted to forget. Maybe the next sip would make him feel better? Maybe the sip after that would allow him to forget his heinous crime?

Damn it.

It wasn’t working.

He was still a murderer.

Why was he denied the right to forget?

The dishevelled Heir yawned. He was tired. So very tired. He closed his eyes. Just for a brief moment.

And then there was only darkness.

[adecrinfu1984-blog]

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[thearrangment-phff]

XV. Exile

December 2016

Christmas was spent Sandringham for Harry and Luxembourg for Isabella. Harry spent every Christmas at Sandringham with his family, while Isabella usually went from country to country on Christmas. Last year everyone was in Belgium. This year for Christmas, Isabella’s grandfather Jean asked for his family to spent it at Fischbach Castle in Luxembourg.  

The last time Isabella stepped foot in that castle was when she was with Harry. She remembered every detail of that weekend including her grandfather’s smile as he told her what a good match Harry was. Her grandfather told Harry goodbye with a nod, a handshake, and a promise to give him more accounts of World War Two from his own point of view when they meet again.

The day of Christmas Harry was pulled away from the rest of the family by his father. Charles and Harry had begun the design of Isabella’s engagement ring the day after he returned from Luxembourg two weeks ago. Charles and Ed explained to him that Harry would have to propose by January in order to have a June wedding. Harry was clueless at to what Isabella would want in an engagement ring, of course, she didn’t even know he was already planning to propose.  

Marie Astrid advised the best she could, but there was little help. Charles and Philip helped greatly. Since Philip helped design his wife’s engagement ring, Charles felt that he should help. Philip was reluctant to help seeing how his grandson was going to propose to a girl he had never met. Charles persuaded Philip to help and so he did.

Eventually, Harry, Charles, and Philip designed the perfect diamond engagement ring for Isabella. It was a slight mix between Marie Astrid, Josephine Charlotte, and Astrid’s engagement rings. Finding pictures of Astrid’s engagement ring was tough, but Charles was able to pull it off. Harry had gone to pick up the ring the day before Christmas Eve, and thankfully the royal jewelers put the ring on the rush so it was done on time.

Now Harry stood in a small room with his father and an engagement ring between his fingers, “I want to thank you for agreeing to this. I was hoping by now the relationship would be more serious, but being friends at this point is better than anything.”

“When will I be going to see her?” Asked Harry not bothering to remove his gaze from the engagement ring.

“Morning of Boxing day you will fly to Luxembourg. We have been advised that Isabella is with her mother’s family at Fischbach Castle. We have spoken to the secretary of the Grand Ducal Family and they were made aware that you will spend a couple of days with them but will not tell her of your plans,” explained Charles.

Harry nodded and looked at his father, “Will I be going alone?”

“Would you like someone else to go with you?” Asked Charles.

“I was thinking you could come with me. Will and Kate won’t come and I know Camilla will spend boxing day with her kids. Will you come with me to Luxembourg?”

“I can arrange something. Is that all?”

“Do you think Bea and Eugenie would come to Luxembourg as well? I just want some family there, you understand right?”

“I do understand. Why don’t you ask your cousins if they would like to come and then I’ll make some phone calls to see what we can do on short notice.”

“Thank you,” Harry let a couple of seconds of silence go between them, “I know why you chose her and I understand that this arrangement is becoming more than anyone could hope, but I was wondering if there was ever another girl. Was there ever another choice?”

Charles couldn’t answer his son so he replied to Harry the best he could, “Do you know how many non-Catholic princesses there are in Europe?”

“No,” answered Harry.

“Not many. Protestant princess are mostly in Germany. Besides the fact World War One happened a hundred of years ago, a German marrying into the British royal family would not sit well with the public. Do you know why?”

“Because of World War One. We changed our name during the war so we wouldn’t end up like the Romanovs,” replied Harry earning a nod from his father.

“Partly. There is over 500 German Countess from ages 19-35 all over Europe. With only a small title to their name and few to no connections, I wasn’t going to choose one. My first option was an Aristocratic girl like your mother. She was loved and perhaps another daughter of a duke or earl could fill the gap your mother left behind. Want to know why I didn’t choose one of them?”

“Politics.”

“And, partly. We can’t be associated with one political party, something some in this family and I are guilty of. Though the daughter of Scottish Duke was our main goal, none had lasted the course. I didn’t want any foreign nobility for fear of our public image. If you marry a foreign princess the public will believe us to be this older image of us. The image of royals marrying royals is not something we need right now,” explained Charles.

“But Isabella has a title and a bloodline that traces back as far as ours,” questioned Harry.

“Do you happen to know how many Catholic princesses there are in the world?” Asked Charles.

“No idea pa.”

“Over 500 titled girls with the address of Her Royal or Serene Highness and that includes the almost 100 Archduchesses of Austria and Austria-Este. I didn’t bother to count the Countess, Baronesses, Ladies, and so forth in different European nobility. You marrying a Catholic would appease the Catholics of this country. But I didn’t want you to marry someone from a dissolved monarchy. There were too many complications.”

“Then why her?” Pressed Harry.

“I went over profiles of over 300 girls from different countries and found none that I thought would suit you. It was late, there were papers up to my knees, and I had given up. I saw a picture of a blonde girl and my first thought was she looked like all your former partners. Once I found out who she was I simply chose her,” clarified Charles.

“You chose her for her looks? That’s it?”

“Her looks stood out to me because of the similarity, but once I looked at her profile again I found that she wasn’t a match to what we were looking for but it was worth a try. Isabella cared deeply for refugees and worked for the United Nations. She went to an American Ivy League University and graduated Cum Laude. She came from a good family, who’s the only scandal was her cousin Prince Louis of Luxembourg having a child out of wedlock about 10 years ago.”

“Pa I’ve had more scandals than her,” interrupted Harry.

“Yes, but she hasn’t had dozens of men and women shove cameras in her face since the moment she was born. Isabella may have a title and ties but she did not have a similar life to you. Besides your brother, no one could understand the life you’ve had, and even then, you and your brother are different.”

“She’s told me a bit about her family. Her grandfather Jean told me stories about fighting in World War Two and living in exile. She told me about her great-grandfather King Leopold and I guess part of me couldn’t help but feel… bad? I don’t know pa. I’m afraid. Afraid of something. Does that make sense?” Wondered Harry.

“You’re afraid to get too close? Is that it?” Asked Charles.

“Yes and no. There’s this small voice in the back of my head telling me that I’m just not good enough for her somehow. I forget sometimes that she’s titled but she told me her full titles when I was in Luxembourg and I couldn’t help but feel small compared to her. I know the Austrian-Hungarian empire doesn’t exist but still. Pa, you should have been at her birthday celebrations, titled people everywhere. And all related to her somehow. I don’t have that, at least not on her level.”

“Okay, your insecure about Isabella’s standing. This is where you can improve on that. When you marry you become a Duke of Sussex or Clarence. Isabella will most likely remain an Archduchess and she will be addressed as one should the government allow it and the media’s reception of her. You cannot avoid that, but you can use her title to your advantage. Use her family ties to your advantage.”

“Should the government allow it? What does that mean?” asked Harry.

“Isabella is in a unique position. Not only is she a Roman Catholic she comes from a dissolved monarchy. Should the government call for it, Isabella will forgo her titles and citizenship like your grandfather to marry you. Except we have not just come out of a war and Isabella has strong ties to several other functioning monarchies. She is neither an Austrian or Hungarian citizen so there is no alliance with another monarch allowing her to swear her fealty to your grandmother. She has Dual Citizenship in Belgium and Switzerland and could also gain a British one as well since there are no laws against that.”

“I haven’t even thought about that. I haven’t even thought about the press,” mumbled Harry.

“They point out the fact that you go for aristocratic blonde women, some like Isabella, but more hate her. Though I don’t know if the hate comes from their love for you or the fact that Isabella is titled. There are few to no pictures of her because of Swiss photography laws.”

“That’s why she won’t come to London, isn’t it? Because she’s safer to Geneva. When we were in Luxembourg I saw her. She wasn’t used to the cameras and no one knew I was supposed to be there. I can’t even imagine how she would react in London,” acknowledged Harry.

“When she does come to London she will need RPO’s. That’s why I wanted you to meet in Geneva. Safer, smaller, and quieter. But do not forget to use this situation to your advantage. When you are married her family will also become yours,” replied Charles.

“That seems a bit… much? Is that the appropriate word? Maybe dirty would be better used? I know that point in marrying Isabella was to bring other royal houses on our side, but I don’t think I can do that,” protested Harry.

“From what I hear you already have. The secretaries of the former Grand Duke and a future one have contacted the Royal Palace to attend the Invictus Game next year. The Hereditary Grand Duke has even agreed to become a Patron of the Invictus Games. It might not seem like a big deal but it is,” argued Charles.

“They both went to Sandhurst and it was easy to get along with them. I had things in common with them. But what if I don’t have that with the rest of Isabella’s family?”

“You have no problem talking to strangers when you do on engagements Harry. Besides princes of Luxembourg, Nassau, and Liechtenstein go to Sandhurst. It’s a family tradition so you will have no trouble with them.”

“It’s different with them. They’re her family, not strangers. Some of them don’t even like me and they really don’t try and hide it pa. They may respect granny and you, but not Will and I,” began Harry but was cut off by his father.

“That is why we must get other royal families on our side. When things get tough we have to rely on our royal counterparts. Can you honestly believe in 100 years half of these monarchies will still exist? Jordan and Spain are facing a backlash in their own countries. Where do you think their royal families will go when their country abandoned them? King Constantine of Greece came to London because of his strong ties to our family. Emperor Charles of Austria went to Portugal because his mother in law was a Portuguese Infanta. Kaiser Wilhelm fled into exile in the Netherlands. Where do you think you will do if this monarchy was abolished?”

Harry thought about it. He didn’t have family out of England and he was going to answer Africa but he remembered he would be married to Isabella, “Africa, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Belgium, or France.”

“And where do you think the rest of us will go?” Asked Charles.

“France… maybe Switzerland?”

“Isabella has Swiss and Belgian citizenship. Should we go into exile you will most likely go to Belgium. Isabella is a Princess in the Belgian nobility so the Princes of Ligne or Merode would more than likely open you and Isabella with open arms. Her grandmother Archduchess Yolande was born a Princess of Ligne and the current Prince is her nephew. Isabella is also godmother to the King of Belgium’s youngest daughter. Should you choose Luxembourg you would most likely be at Fischbach castle where Isabella’s grandparents lived most of their lives after Jean’s abdication or Berg Castle. I’m sure Henri or his son Guillaume would grant you a title or King Philippe would take that honor first if you don’t live in exile in his country. Geneva is another option because most of Isabella’s family live, like Prince Felix of Luxembourg who may one day become Grand Duke of Luxembourg should his elder brother never had children, currently live there as well. Isabella’s godfather the Regent of Liechtenstein would no doubt welcome Isabella will open arms as well,” explained Charles.

“This was the goal all along wasn’t it? Find a woman that has the best connections and marry her off to me. You and Will have the option to marry women you’ve known for years but I am forced to marry someone that I haven’t even known one year?”

“You weren’t always angry with this arrangement. Please don’t start now. This marriage will benefit us all. Are you going to back out now? If so tell me now or we will all go through with this arrangement.”

There was a hesitation from Harry. He could end this all with a couple of words. It was all on the tip of his tongue, but somehow there was something stopping him. With his mouth open, he remembered Isabella and the memories of these last few months. In a swift moment, Harry walked away from his father with a nod and Charles got his answer.

[yobrowaddup]

touch, talk, fall asleep -- jeddy oneshot

3rd POV (changed the age gap to 4 years for this)

Teddy Lupin was a good kid. He did his homework, got good grades, played seeker for Hufflepuff and was an overall teacher's pet. He had brilliant manners and always smiled charmingly at anyone and everyone. He was loved amongst students and teachers.

So when he graduated Hogwarts, changed his hair to a bright rainbow and shaved the sides. When he got two ear piercings and magical tattoo. Friends and family all over were more than surprised. Teddy had waited till he was seventeen to make all the changes. Till he could ready start living for himself.

Harry and Ginny didn't mind. Andromeda had to give it a few weeks before she could look at him without frowning but eventually got used to it too.

The rainbow had was the thing most people has suspected. He had come out as pansexual three years prior but had always shown a love for rainbows and the brightness they represented.

Teddy also ended up finding some of Sirius' old leather jackets and harry had allowed him the motorcycle a few times prior but now both the jackets and the cycle had completely found their way into Teddy's hands, permanently.

He looked the opposite of his personality. The piercings the tattoos, that gradually became more, and the way he dressed. He was a wizarding world hearth throb.

Of course, he had even got into the magazines and news due to the commotion of 'Golden boy Harry Potter' godson is Britain's most wanted bachelor'. Now yes the title was a bit of an over exaggeration but he had defiantly worked his way into the press' hearts. He had even gotten a few modelling offers.

But Teddy being Teddy kindly declined each love confession and modelling agency. He was a modest bloke and really didn't see what all the commotion was about.

James Potter was a simple guy. He was a hot but simple guy.

He was Gryffindors dearly beloved prankster and constantly had some rumour of a girlfriend floating around.

He was seen as a player and an easy fuck. A pretty face and a nice arse.

Now what James didn't understand is that he'd only been with three girls in his Hogwarts life but thanks to his oh so lovely cousin clan there was always a rumour or a little whisper of him sleeping with the older Ravenclaw girl or the snarky Slytherin 6th year. Or just snogging with a random girl outside Hogsmeade.

The worst bit was that there was always a girl that was willing to say that she was the one James had that week. Even if he hadn't spoken to her once before.

There was always a girl latching herself onto his arm, always someone sexualizing him.

James tried to ignore the whispers he heard seeing as he knew they weren't true but he couldn't tell them they weren't true. No one had believed him before. Why would they now?

There was always one person James could rant to.

Teddy.

The boys had known each other since diapers and they were connected at the hip whenever close.

James adored the older boy. More than a best friend probably should but he never let that get to him. Teddy was too important to him to loose.

The boys often found themselves in James' room on Friday nights casting silencing charms and talking. Talking for as along as much as they could before they fell asleep. Sometimes Teddy word bring his guitar and play James something he had been working on. Or they would sneak downstairs and James would teach teddy something on the piano.

There was never a dull moment. Especially not when they teased Albus or took Lilly out to the close by park.

Both boys however published or previewed by the socialism around them always knew the real them.

James knew the real Teddy and Teddy knew the real James.

And sometimes the only person you need to believe you is the one who knows you best.

---

James was good at hiding his feelings towards Teddy. He never really acted out too much and always knew what not to do after seeing Albus do exactly what you're not supposed to with his feelings towards Scorpius.

He stared very little and kept his blush internal. For most of it at least.

But when Teddy arrived at James' 18th birthday party with his hair dark blue almost black. With his ear pierced again, his eyebrow shaved a little near the end and a leather jacket on James couldn't control his eyes.

He scanned Teddy over at least 20 times before he accidentally dropped his cup and snapped out of it.

He looked good. So so good. Even more good than usual. And man was that saying something.

James had enough time to stare while his relatives made a large deal out of Teddy's new look.

"Close your mouth lover boy" Scorpius laughed walking past James, snapping him out of his second trance of staring at those ripped jeans.

"You know my boyfriend is right. You should stop staring before yours catches on" Albus rolled his eyes before smirking and dragging a giggling Scorpius to the kitchen.

James glared at where the younger boys once stood before going up to his room.

The party was practically over anyway and he's teddy was late but he couldn't be bothered to care.

Once he closed the door he clicked it locked and slid down against it sighing deeply.

He would thank everyone tomorrow for coming. Right now he was too dazed.

He placed his head in his hands and pulled his knees closer.

Teddy becoming even more attractive was not good for his already two-year strong crush. Teddy with his stupid smile and cute dimples. Teddy with his bad knock jokes and brilliant singing. Goddamnit could he be more perfect?

James groaned loudly.

"Knock knock"

Speak of the devil.

"Who's there" James smiled, opening the door slightly and walking away from it letting teddy enter himself.

"Me" The dark haired boy laughed.

"That's the worst one so far" James spoke raising an eyebrow at the boy leaning against his door frame.

"Nah I think I'm a great person to show up at someone's door. Especially yours" Teddy grinned showing his dimples.

"Yeah shut up" James smiled, falling backwards onto his bed.

"I'm sorry-"

"It's fine. You're always late." James sighed.

"Jamieeeee" teddy drawled walking over to the bed and leaning over to look James in the eyes.

"What is is bubble head?" James rolled his eyes and moved to the side of the bed.

"Pay attention to meet" Teddy spoke sitting down next to James.

James proceeded to ignore the dark haired boy. He couldn't trust himself, he knew that as soon as he looked into Teddy's eyes he would instantly forgive him. Or kiss him. Either way not good.

Teddy huffed and started to slightly poke and tickle James.

"Ted hehe Ted- stop haha Teddy" James laughed and squirmed finally turning around and laying close to Teddy. He took the blue haired boy's hands and looked him in the eye.

"Stop"

"Make me" Teddy challenged, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe later" James rolled his eyes and turned onto his back.

He and Teddy stayed like that for a while. Maybe two minutes. It was too peaceful to interrupt. That was until Teddy suddenly got up and walked to the door.

James frowned but kept quiet.

Teddy walked outside James' room and brought back a bag

Overnight stuff okay.

Teddy then walked back out and brought in his guitar.

Obviousl

y, James thought

Hr expected teddy to walk back to the bed, force him up and make him set up or something but instead, teddy kept quiet and simply placed his things where they would normally go.

"Remember how you helped me play the piano," Teddy asked very suddenly

"Yeah, I've been showing you for a few months now. Why?" James responded sitting up.

"Come with me" Teddy smiled.

Despite what James had expected when they got downstairs a fee family members were still there. Still around 10 people.

"Teddy what's-"

"Just stay here I'll be right back" Teddy smiled quickly before running into the kitchen.

"Dad do you know what's up with Teddy," James asked walking over to his dad.

"No, but it seems Lily is in on it. She's been acting weird too" Harry squinted in his daughter's direction.

Teddy was there too. Whispering into her ear. She seemed to be focusing on his information quite a lot as well.

What on earth.

Teddy then quickly walked away and right back to James.

"Ted-"

"Let's go" Teddy quickly grabbed James' hand and he tried his best to look nonchalant about it.

Teddy pulled James into the study on the bottom floor where the bitters had an arrangement of bookcases, a record player, a small desk and their piano.

"Well, I've been practising" Teddy spoke letting go of James' hand and rubbing his neck.

"We couldn't wait till morning for -"

"I want to play you something"

"You need to stop cutting me off" James laughed "but go ahead then we're here now so might as well."

Teddy sat down in front of the piano and did a few chords as a warm up. James had positioned a chair right next to the piano and sat down with Teddy watching as he nervously placed his fingers down.

"Now I'm no James potter but this isn't that bad and"

"Just play"

That's exactly what he did.

The few notes were long and simple but teddy managed to keep in time as well.

"Won't you turn around and please look at me For everything we are, everything we've been I promise I'll be good if you stay with me

But everything we are, it just went away With the slide of a tongue and a sour taste I cannot recall, I can explain"

James was completely awestruck. Teddy's soft singing and great accompaniment. Everything just worked.

"But I remember the nights when you'd lie with me Where we'd talk and we'd touch and we'd fall asleep I wake up in your arms and I'd feel at ease

It's gonna be a long night"

The piano got a little bit more complicated here but teddy kept the pace and to be honest. James wouldn't even have realised that the piano was off if it was. He was too drawn into the playing.

So drawn in he didn't realise the rest of the family joining them inside.

Teddy was beyond nervous. He'd practised the song more times than he could remember all that he knew was that there's so way he could mess up. He couldn't allow himself. He wouldn't allow himself.

"I still have your shirt in my dresser drawer The one with the stripes that you liked in store Everything has changed, I wanted more"

Teddy continued playing and singing. Sneaking James a little smile every time he just played and didn't meet to sing. James was completely destroyed, falling more in love with every note played.

"Oh, it's gonna be a long night"

Teddy finished, playing the last new notes, looking towards his feet.

"So um" The dark haired boy paused "what did you think?"

"It was. I'm. Well. I." James stuttered "it was brilliant."

Teddy sighed in relief

"I mean it was about-"

"Well done lupin. Who knew you could impress us even more" Albus cut Teddy off with a smirk.

"Allll" Lily whined

"What I didn't do anything" he defended as Lily smacked him.

"Well done Teddy" Harry smiled and a chorus of agreement followed.

"Okay well it's about time we all head to bed" Ginny clapped her hands. Everyone left out the room saying goodbyes and apparating out of the house.

"I'll leave you to it then" Ginny smirked walking past Teddy. "Have fun boys and sleep well"

James blushed and looked away before muttering an incoherent "shut up"

As James and Teddy walked into James' room they heard Ginny once again. This time yelling a "not too much fun"

James swears he could sense Albus snorting at their mum and silently agreeing.

"Mum" he whined causing a laugh to be heard down the hallway.

They settled into James' room, Teddy flopping down onto the sleeper couch and sighed heavily.

"I was so scared of messing up"

"But you didn't"

"Yeah. I think I was just too commuted to mess up."

"Before Al interrupted. You said, were about to say- what the song was about."

"Oh. Yeah. Well, I found it and it just really summed up how I felt. Um about" Teddy trailed off

"About?"

"Well. You"

James' heart skipped a beat.

"What do you mean?"

Teddy got up and walked over to James who was still standing in the middle of the room.

"Exactly what I said. You. You and I. How we've become what we are. Who we are. How we've grown to become close" Teddy stepped closer to James "I don't know how or when. But you-you are just so much more to me than you can comprehend."

James' breath caught in his throat

"James. I know I'm giving you a lot of information and that this can be really awkward for you but I just want to say that I don't want this to be a burden or upset you so please just. Say something."

"Edward Remus Lupin do me a favour and shut up" James smiled flicking his eyes between Teddy's eyes and lips

Teddy snapped his mouth shut and looked down slightly at James.

"James-"

This time James cut Teddy off. He grabbed Teddy's shirt and pulled him closer, kissing him hard. Teddy's initial shock passed and he settled into James touch, placing his hands on the other boy's waist.

James moved his hand from Teddy's shirt and rested his arms on Teddy's shoulders.

"I told you to stop cutting me off that was your punishment,"  James smirked as he pulled away.

"If that's a punishment I'll take it any day" teddy grinned.

"Well I'll take you up on that" James muttered leaning in again.

"Mum they kissed" They heard Al yell from the other room

"That little bu-" James growled trying to pull away and chase after his brother but teddy stopped him by the hand pulling him back into his chest.

"Jamie they were bound to find out ignore Albus and kiss me again."

James looked to the door for a second before turning back to Teddy. He rolled his eyes and cast a silencing charm

"Fair point"

A/n this is so long wtf

[mildredbrignoni]

Try Living In Shoes Other Than Your Own

Why we Latinas - should care about the rhetoric in the media as we are portrayed.  While we are tired of watching negative comments continue to be paraded in the media from every news station, we should understand their spin in allowing their news stations to over exaggerate stories to either poke fun at, or help Trump supporters.  In Trump’s position, he knows it helps and cares about “spin” because he wants to keep his job.  Latina leaders - we need a call to action - we all need to be the voice that breaks the stigma and rise up/ speak up, just as our nations leader is doing!

As a nation, we were built on the belief that the melting pot was robust and prosperous. So long as you carried your rifle, and fed your workers, all would be ok. Well, when your workers suddenly became your leaders, everything started to shift.  The idea of civil rights threatened not only the status quo, it led to an intentional division in late 18 century between political parties noticing that poor angry white farmers were standing next to their black slaves as a fight for fairness.  Thus, the rally began by bringing in all caucasian people united against the rich black folks in the north.  That also had farmers in the south, despite that they weren’t rich, advocate to keep their only commodity - slavery.  So, what does that mean for our Latina leaders today in all industries here in the US? 

Most of us Latinas are passionate to a fault, strong, willful, and compassionate. We take on the challenges that most people believe we won’t ever be a threat in succeeding as their leader.  We not only stand up for the underdogs, we are nurturers, and believers of the greater good is our mission to carry. We are caring for those that we see need us, because we know that we can be the voice for those that cannot stand up for, or help themselves.  As Latinas, particularly in leadership roles and in media, we are strong, powerful, and scary to most men in power.  Now, the focus is shifting towards all women of color.  However, most of Latinas have had the burden of carrying a bigger stigma - sexiness.  Men in locker room talk suggest we should just stick to our bedroom habits and not get too carried away with problem solving.  But, we cannot change the fact that God also made us beautiful.

Not all of us Puerto Ricans have a Jennifer Lopez figure, nor do we dance and sing like her, but we do share one megaphone in common, - we are trailblazers that don’t back down.  We not only hold the fort down at home, bear children and cook a mean Arroz con Pollo, we are brave, humbled and demonstrate the ability to have multiple talents. I am both Guatemalan and Puerto Rican, which makes me a self proclaimed Guadarican. Well, as most men cannot fit me into a box, I get more questions asked of me about my career in film/ television, as a writer, fashion designer and social media marketer than any other of my colleagues that are white or black.  All that is true… I worked in all these disciplines and had some successes because I have had some great male leaders supporting my efforts and encouraged me. However, most men and, and some women, simply cannot believe that this (me) little curly haired Latina, has worked in all these capacities, and that can speak well of it. 

Latinas are overachievers, yet are told to wait our turn.  Also, it appears to men that it is impossible that we can spin circles around others. Well, it isn’t.  It scares conservative political leaders that a woman like Carmen Yulin Cruz – the mayor of San Juan Puerto Rico could defy the rhetoric offered of higher authority - President Donald Trump. Delivering the truth in her passion, and willingness to stand up while going against the opinion of popular views has cost her a negative image amongst the Republican establishment. She is not only walking through dirty water saving lives, she herself is living in a crisis. That is not a lie. Why should she or anyone else in her position be made to conform to the style of speech that forces her to assimilate to likings of Mr. Trump comforts?  When her island is no longer in a catastrophe, should she thank him politely and have mild manners all of the sudden? No.  

I know first hand that the island is not at all a good story, nor are they asking the world to do everything for them.  They simply cannot do it alone.  My cousin in Isabela Puerto Rico that serves as a Police Officer messaged me after 10 days of not knowing what became of my entire family.  Oscar said they were all fine minus the lack of water and electricity. He told me first that Puerto Rico was nothing short of a Catastrophe.  

Our government has put Puerto Rico on the side lines of help because of a fiscal issue.  Meanwhile, the Mayor - Carmen Yulin Cruz is seeking to share the truth that her island of Puerto Rico is in utter despair.  With no running water, no electricity, and no fresh vegetation, the lack of communication and all of the entire island’s infrastructures has all collapsed, how is she supposed to respond to the Presidents’ demonizing her? What that means for us Latinas in the US is that we cannot allow that to continue by speaking up every time we are shut down publicly.  So here I am.  Donald Trump- my people of Puerto Rico are suffering and only your golf courses on land you purchased for a tax break back in 1994 is your biggest concern.  

We Latinas work to help inspire and lead teams because we care more about people more than ourselves.  Puerto Ricans are loving, thoughtful, loyal women that want to give of themselves. Jennifer Lopez and Carmen Y. Cruz have husspa!

Having been the product of a blue collar working family, (my dad worked for American Airline while mother RIP was a hair dresser ) I have had the luxury of traveling at a young age.  Along the path of my life, like many young Latinas (eg: Jennifer Lopez from the Bronx), I had the ability to see myself out of small beginnings growing up in suburban town of California. I am a product of the public school system, and would make myself upwardly mobile.  Along with my Puerto Rican values, I graduated from University Of California Berkeley.  This was a long time ago, and yet served me a long way to earning a position as a union Costume Designer in film and television shows. I am a member of the IATSE Local 892 Costume Designers Guild, a published writer for Foxnews.com, and a Social Media Strategist. While living bicoastal, between NYC and LA, I finally settled on NYC. I learned how to get up when times were tough. In 2008 during the housing market collapse I had crafted another career in the technology industry.  I was the 1 % female in a 99% dominated NY Tech meetup.  And, I was the only Latina in the technology industry as the VP of Marketing and Business Development at any advertising agency. At the time, I had a French male boss that nurtured my career while I helped in fortune 500 fashion businesses to partner with us as their agency of choice in the US. I had to eventually resign because I was brokering deals in French and my boss didn’t like it.  Later on, I would move into consulting and found that former clients would eventually be my biggest supporters.  

So why do I say that it has been so difficult to break the status quo in perception of the Latina leaders and in media? Because, like Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz, we carry the burden of being outspoken and take chances in delivering a daring honesty of facts. Carmen was hired as the Mayor because she understood how to lead a robust touristic city of our US – San Juan of Puerto Rico.  She exposed the truth to the world about the lack of resources and challenging our commander in Chief by insisting she was in the business of saving lives, and now she was verbally and publicly punished for it. Since then, she has been asked to keep a low profile.  But she hasn’t.  

Are we Latinas expected to always surrender our opinions as leaders of large organizations and political parties simply because we are too passionate?  It could be that entertainers such as Jennifer Lopez are thought of as merely an attractive actress, therefore, that the conservative elite agree she be regulated to the visibility of their audience on their public platforms in this case, only to serve as a woman to shake her assets for world to enjoy!  Respectfully, ideas of strong Latinas in leadership roles that do not involve performance exposes this dichotomy.  It supports the problem that we Puertoriqueñas have, which is that so long as if we are attractive, and long as we are merely an object of desire for entertainment purposes, and not in direct authority of a larger political or fiscal opinion, we are not to be taken seriously.  Although she is no JLO, Carmen is a beautiful woman. Hence, the irony and the truth is that all women are beautiful and therefore, we should be treated with dignity and respectfully. I have worked across the country from Chicago, Atlanta, New York and LA. Not all Latinas see the world the same, but throughout my travels, I was always acutely aware that I am not always in the company of people that share my political views.  What is really important is that we at least recognize the contributions of Latinas around the world for their fearless efforts and acts of bravery to care for her communities.

The sad truth is that I have been a published writer for the right winged FoxNews.com unaware of the negative reaction I would receive. I delivered stories that were thought provoking. However, I only recently realized that my Latina voice was used to gain their Latino following by blending my liberal minded film articles with Latino viewership statistics.  My decision to write articles for FoxNews.com was because, at the time, they gave me the opportunity to write about a changing Latino landscape in Cinema. I covered stories about Transgenders and gay centric films in Latin America, Oscar and Emmy nominated Latinos in the media as well as Cuban stories. The direction that Fox News may have had was to strategize bringing in my stories to add more Latina/o eye balls on their website. At that time, I was offered a job and I didn’t see how spin eventually effected my story.  It inevitably trickled down to all of us drinking their Kool-Aid.  

[kiah-gdes21100-1]

GREAT GATSBY

While The Great Gatsby is a highly specific portrait of American society during the Roaring Twenties, its story is also one that has been told hundreds of times, and is perhaps as old as America itself: a man claws his way from rags to riches, only to find that his wealth cannot afford him the privileges enjoyed by those born into the upper class. The central character is Jay Gatsby, a wealthy New Yorker of indeterminate occupation. Gatsby is primarily known for the lavish parties he throws each weekend at his ostentatious Gothic mansion in West Egg. He is suspected of being involved in illegal bootlegging and other underworld activities.

The narrator, Nick Carraway, is Gatsby's neighbor in West Egg. Nick is a young man from a prominent Midwestern family. Educated at Yale, he has come to New York to enter the bond business. In some sense, the novel is Nick's memoir, his unique view of the events of the summer of 1922; as such, his impressions and observations necessarily color the narrative as a whole. For the most part, he plays only a peripheral role in the events of the novel; he prefers to remain a passive observer.

Upon arriving in New York, Nick visits his cousin, Daisy Buchanan, and her husband, Tom. The Buchanans live in the posh Long Island district of East Egg; Nick, like Gatsby, resides in nearby West Egg, a less fashionable area looked down upon by those who live in East Egg. West Egg is home to the nouveau riche, people who lack established social connections, and who tend to vulgarly flaunt their wealth. Like Nick, Tom Buchanan graduated from Yale, and comes from a privileged Midwestern family. Tom is a former football player, a brutal bully obsessed with the preservation of class boundaries. Daisy, by contrast, is an almost ghostlike young woman who affects an air of sophisticated boredom. At the Buchanans's, Nick meets Jordan Baker, a beautiful young woman with a cold, cynical manner. The two later become romantically involved.

Jordan tells Nick that Tom has been having an affair with Myrtle Wilson, a woman who lives in the valley of ashes, ­ an industrial wasteland outside of New York City. After visiting Tom and Daisy, Nick goes home to West Egg; there, he sees Gatsby gazing at a mysterious green light across the bay. Gatsby stretches his arms out toward the light, as though to catch and hold it.

Tom Buchanan takes Nick into New York, and on the way they stop at the garage owned by George Wilson. Wilson is the husband of Myrtle, with whom Tom has been having an affair. Tom tells Myrtle to join them later in the city. Nearby, on an enormous billboard, a pair of bespectacled blue eyes stares down at the barren landscape. These eyes once served as an advertisement; now, they brood over all that occurs in the valley of ashes.

In the city, Tom takes Nick and Myrtle to the apartment in Morningside Heights at which he maintains his affair. There, they have a lurid party with Myrtle's sister, Catherine, and an abrasive couple named McKee. They gossip about Gatsby; Catherine says that he is somehow related to Kaiser Wilhelm, the much-despised ruler of Germany during World War I. The more she drinks, the more aggressive Myrtle becomes; she begins taunting Tom about Daisy, and he reacts by breaking her nose. The party, unsurprisingly, comes to an abrupt end.

Nick Carraway attends a party at Gatsby's mansion, where he runs into Jordan Baker. At the party, few of the attendees know Gatsby; even fewer were formally invited. Before the party, Nick himself had never met Gatsby: he is a strikingly handsome, slightly dandified young man who affects an English accent. Gatsby asks to speak to Jordan Baker alone; after talking with Gatsby for quite a long time, she tells Nick that she has learned some remarkable news. She cannot yet share it with him, however.

Some time later, Gatsby visits Nick's home and invites him to lunch. At this point in the novel, Gatsby's origins are unclear. He claims to come from a wealthy San Francisco family, and says that he was educated at Oxford after serving in the Great War (during which he received a number of decorations). At lunch, Gatsby introduces Nick to his business associate, Meyer Wolfsheim. Wolfhsheim is a notorious criminal; many believe that he is responsible for fixing the 1919 World Series.

Gatsby mysteriously avoids the Buchanans. Later, Jordan Baker explains the reason for Gatsby's anxiety: he had been in love with Daisy Buchanan when they met in Louisville before the war. Jordan subtly intimates that he is still in love with her, and she with him.

Gatsby asks Nick to arrange a meeting between himself and Daisy. Gatsby has meticulously planned their meeting: he gives Daisy a carefully rehearsed tour of his mansion, and is desperate to exhibit his wealth and possessions. Gatsby is wooden and mannered during this initial meeting; his dearest dreams have been of this moment, and so the actual reunion is bound to disappoint. Despite this, the love between Gatsby and Daisy is revived, and the two begin an affair.

Eventually, Nick learns the true story of Gatsby's past. He was born James Gatz in North Dakota, but had his name legally changed at the age of seventeen. The gold baron Dan Cody served as Gatsby's mentor until his death. Though Gatsby inherited nothing of Cody's fortune, it was from him that Gatsby was first introduced to world of wealth, power, and privilege.

While out horseback riding, Tom Buchanan happens upon Gatsby's mansion. There he meets both Nick and Gatsby, to whom he takes an immediate dislike. To Tom, Gatsby is part of the "new rich," and thus poses a danger to the old order that Tom holds dear. Despite this, he accompanies Daisy to Gatsby's next party; there, he is exceedingly rude and condescending toward Gatsby. Nick realizes that Gatsby wants Daisy to renounce her husband and her marriage; in this way, they can recover the years they have lost since they first parted. Gatsby's great flaw is that his great love of Daisy is a kind of worship, and that he fails to see her flaws. He believes that he can undo the past, and forgets that Daisy's essentially small-minded and cowardly nature was what initially caused their separation.

After his reunion with Daisy, Gatsby ceases to throw his elaborate parties. The only reason he threw such parties was the chance that Daisy (or someone who knew her) might attend. Daisy invites Gatsby, Nick and Jordan to lunch at her house. In an attempt to make Tom jealous, and to exact revenge for his affair, Daisy is highly indiscreet about her relationship with Gatsby. She even tells Gatsby that she loves him while Tom is in earshot.

Although Tom is himself having an affair, he is furious at the thought that his wife could be unfaithful to him. He forces the group to drive into the city: there, in a suite at the Plaza Hotel, Tom and Gatsby have a bitter confrontation. Tom denounces Gatsby for his low birth, and reveals to Daisy that Gatsby's fortune has been made through illegal activities. Daisy's real allegiance is to Tom: when Gatsby begs her to say that she does not love her husband, she refuses him. Tom permits Gatsby to drive Daisy back to East Egg; in this way, he displays his contempt for Gatsby, as well as his faith in his wife's complete subjection.

On the trip back to East Egg, Gatsby allows Daisy to drive in order to calm her ragged nerves. Passing Wilson's garage, Daisy swerves to avoid another car and ends up hitting Myrtle; she is killed instantly. Nick advises Gatsby to leave town until the situation calms. Gatsby, however, refuses to leave: he remains in order to ensure that Daisy is safe. George Wilson, driven nearly mad by the death of his wife, is desperate to find her killer. Tom Buchanan tells him that Gatsby was the driver of the fatal car. Wilson, who has decided that the driver of the car must also have been Myrtle's lover, shoots Gatsby before committing suicide himself.

After the murder, the Buchanans leave town to distance themselves from the violence for which they are responsible. Nick is left to organize Gatsby's funeral, but finds that few people cared for Gatsby. Only Meyer Wolfsheim shows a modicum of grief, and few people attend the funeral. Nick seeks out Gatsby's father, Henry Gatz, and brings him to New York for the funeral. From Henry, Nick learns the full scope of Gatsby's visions of greatness and his dreams of self-improvement.

Thoroughly disgusted with life in New York, Nick decides to return to the Midwest. Before his departure, Nick sees Tom Buchanan once more. Tom tries to elicit Nick's sympathy; he believes that all of his actions were thoroughly justified, and he wants Nick to agree.

Nick muses that Gatsby, alone among the people of his acquaintance, strove to transform his dreams into reality; it is this that makes him "great." Nick also believes, however, that the time for such grand aspirations is over: greed and dishonesty have irrevocably corrupted both the American Dream and the dreams of individual Americans.

http://www.gradesaver.com/the-great-gatsby/study-guide/summary

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Highs and Lows

“When I’m standing on the mountain, I didn’t get there on my own. When I’m walking through the valley, I know I’m not alone. -Tauren Wells”

Piece of Home

A dream came to life at the beginning of this month. My Mom and my sister, Jacque came to visit Restoration Gateway. They started traveling on June 1, and they arrived on RG’s campus on June 3. June 3 was a Saturday, and I couldn’t sit still. I was so anxious and excited the entire day. I kept calling my friend, Allison who is head of hospitality to see if she knew their location. I was playing cards with some of the kids at one of the pod houses, and they started saying that a big bus was here. They arrived. I started sprinting to the team house. Honestly, I am super out of shape, and I was getting super tired, but I couldn’t stop. I went around the corner of the team house, and I saw Jacque standing there, and my Mom’s head sticking out of a window of the bus. I ran to my sister with my arms wide open. I feel like this was a scene out of a movie, like just embracing each other and tears of joy was streaming on our faces. My Mom finally got out of the bus, and I gave her the biggest hug ever. I mentioned in my last blog that being away from my family has been hard, and I have missed them terribly. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of joy in my heart, for the Lord allowed them to come here. 

I was so excited for them to meet the people I love. So excited for them to see my life here, and why I love it here so much. It was a blessing to see the Lord work through them here, and being able to make their own special relationships with the people here of RG. My Mom worked a lot in the library with my friend, Jessica, who serves in the library here at RG. The Lord supplied things for the library that He already knew we needed. Mom also helped with technology, and worked with our Ugandan Computer Teacher, Robert. Jacque worked a lot at the baby house, and caring for the little ones while she was here. I was able to see Jacque form special bonds with some of the little ones, and my heart was filled with so much joy to see the joy from the Lord in her smile. 

Emmy and his Mom finally meeting Mom and Jac! :) 

Did it hurt a bit, Jac? Haha the joys of having muzungu hair

Mom helping our good friend out in the computer lab. My dear friend loved having Mom around. He kept telling me, “Auntie, your Mom is so nice. I wish she wouldn’t leave.” 

Since Jacque graduated in May while I was here, I threw a little surprise Graduation party for the new graduate in the middle of the bush of Africa. We had cake. (I made one of my favorite, Funfetti cakes for her. She really means the world to me, and you have to know that now Jac, especially after knowing I shared my Funfetti mix) :) There was of course a photo booth for lots of funs since a lot of our family was here as well. We created special memories that night, and I am thankful that I got to celebrate the recent life chapter with my baby sis in some way, even if it is a couple weeks late. 

Mom and Jacque attended my Bible Truths class in the morning, and Mom was able to come to a couple of my P.E. classes. I felt like I was in elementary school again, and it was “Bring Your Mom & Sis To School” Day.  I was so excited and proud to introduce my Mom and sister to everyone. (Side Note: My Mom got so many compliments of how young she was/looked. I think that is why my Mom loved being here so much. :) Everyone kept complimenting her on how beautiful she was! (I got it from my Momma)) 

We were able to go on a safari together, and see so many African animals such as elephants, giraffes, crocs, hippos, two lions (will be back on that story in a bit), warthogs, etc. It was really neat to be able to see the same beauty as they were seeing instead of showing them pictures of what I saw during my trip. 

This is my 3rd time in Uganda, and I have been wanting and praying for them to come with me on a mission trip for a while now. I was standing tall on top of my mountain with my Mom and Jacque being here, and I praise God for making it happen. This high also brings me to one of my lows. As much as I loved having my Mom and sister here with me, they were here for a short time. Saying see ya later to them was incredibly hard. I was used to them being here. The devil has been working hard on destroying my spirit. Being lonely, not feeling loved, not feeling valued, and God used my Mom and Jacque to pick up my spirit through words, hugs, smiles, or a bag of Fruity Pebbles. It was a piece of home here in the place that I love, and to see them go was heartbreaking to me. I will see them in a couple months, but still. See ya laters are hard with the ones you love. It was an adjustment to get back into the old routine without them being here, which was hard, but I am very thankful for this beautiful experience with them. Thank you Mom and Jacque for visiting and loving the people at RG, and me. :) You are truly missed. 

Power of Prayer

I mentioned before that on our safari we were able to see two lions. Now I want you to understand that this was my third safari, and I have never seen a lion. The night before, I prayed for the Lord to show me a lion. The morning we left, and on the way to the safari park, I prayed for God to show me a lion. We were on one of the dusty safari roads, and we still haven’t seen a lion yet. I prayed for God to just show me a lion, and I kept repeating in my head that I trust in God, and that I have faith that you will show me a lion. The safari truck completely turn around on this road that we were traveling on, and went back to turn on a different road. We pulled up on this road, and we noticed a lot of muzungus were out of their vehicles looking out across this field. There was a female lion. I quickly got out of the van to run and take a picture. (Picture below) I praised God for showing me a female lion. I thanked Him again, but I asked for Him to show me a male lion. We reached the River Nile to get on a boat tour. On the boat tour, we saw a lot of hippos, elephants, crocs, different types of birds, etc. As we were riding, our guide said, “Look! There’s a male lion behind those branches.” I looked to my left, and there was a male lion. He was in a place that I can’t believe our guide even saw him, but there he was. Thank you God! He is such a cool dude! Through my life, I have learned that it is okay to ask specifically for things. God is our Lord, and He can answer all things. No matter if it is help finding something you lost or asking to see a lion, He just longs for a personal relationship with us. He is pretty cool, and He can make some pretty cool things happen, so trust in that. :) 

See Ya Laters

At the end of June, my family, Trevis, Dusty, Calee, Cadee & Ty, along with two of my best friends, Kyle and Haley, left RG to go back home. Kyle and Haley were my roomies here so it has been an adjustment living by myself in the bush. I am not afraid to live by myself by any means, but I will miss the presence of my friends here. I will be able to see Kyle and Haley when I return back to the States, so I will be looking forward to seeing them again. :) Trevis and the family, I will not. It is cool to see how the Lord has guided me through different situations, and placed people in my life. It was hard to say see ya later. To both my family and best friends. I lived with Trevis & Dusty this past year, and we were able to grow very close. I grew so close with the kids, and they have become like my little sisters, and brother that I never had. See ya laters are hard, and I struggle with those so much because I put so much into relationships. I deeply care for people, and enjoy being around the people I love. I knew that this was a chapter that closed for our lives. God is placing us in different places of the world, and we are going to continue to grow in His love. It’s just going to be different. We started this adventure of serving in Jesus’ Name, and the time we have prepared for is already over for us. But like I said, it’s not over, God is just going to be using us in different places of the world. Without the presence of my family and friends, it is different. It has been an adjustment, and I truly miss each one of them. As corny as this sounds, their presence is with me in this place--through all the memories we’ve shared in this place, through all the life lessons that I have learned while being here, and through the relationships that deepened. Kyle & Haley, and Trevis & Dusty, Calee, Cadee & Ty, you have each helped me grow spiritually in the Name of Jesus. Thanks for going on this leap of faith with me, and pushing me to be the best disciple I can be for Jesus. I’ll see ya in a bit. :) 

Highs & Lows

This month has been really emotional for me. I’ve had some moments where I am just so extremely high on life, and then I’ve had moments where I was low in the dumps. But Jesus still remains. Through all my highs and lows, Jesus is greater. It reminds me of the ministry the Lord started close to 2 years ago--Greater Is He Missions. Our world isn’t always going to feel like we’re on top of a mountain, and our world isn’t always going to be low in the dumps--but we know that wherever we’re at or whatever we’re going through--He is there, and He is greater! 

Praises:

-That God brought my Mom and Jacque here. Words cannot express my gratitude. 

-I was able to have one-on-one time with my cousin, Haley, who has really discipled me throughout my life through her words and her actions.

-So extremely blessed that I was able to have this experience with Trevis, Dusty, Calee, Cadee & Ty.

-I praise God that He brought along my two best friends, Kyle and Haley Hopper. God knew that we would need each other throughout this time. :) 

-I have a new buddy, Puppy. :) 

Prayer Requests:

-RG kids and new adjustments

-Transition back to the States for Trevis & family, and Haley and Kyle

-Next steps for me, and guidance and direction

-Health for the missionaries serving here