lilynight

[lilynight]

Both were filled at the same time with the same water, only one had oysters.

[lilynight]

one of my favorite things about my job that i can say to people that sounds utterly ridiculous but is technically 100% true is that one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony on her behalf and gets SUPER cranky when i won’t do it

[lilynight]

Had to unfollow this one person on here cause they just would not stop making posts about how transfems on e getting periods is just made up symptoms and like, I don't have definitive proof I only have my and others experience but like how do you, as someone who is not on e, who has access to the same amount of studies looking into this with decent sample sizes as I do (none), feel so confident to say it's all just placebo and made up ? What makes you so confident ? Cause I gotta say after almost two years of nearly right on the dot once a month suddenly feeling nausea all week, taking the most unbelievable shits, feeling all my organs cramp, and having mood swings out the ass which always just so happens to line up with when the two people with uteruses in my house also get their periods, I feel like I have more data to work off of than you do

[lilynight]

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

[lilynight]

there are 2 kinds of mangaka when drawing: the ones that hate woman and the ones that love woman

And, guys...

i think ryoko kui really loves woman.

[lilynight]

The fact that Orlando Bloom (Legolas) and Andy Serkis (Gollum) both said that they based their performances in Lord of the Rings off of cat behavior really shows you the sheer range of what cats are like

[lilynight]

This looks like a fucking parody post, or an edgy edit, but it’s 100% official real Flintstones.

[lilynight]

behold my masterpiece

[lilynight]

This is Maggie's worm collection

She loves her worms more than any other toy. She plays with them loads and carries them around the house

At night the worms have to go in a box so that she doesn't wake me up playing with them. So every evening before bed I gather up the worms, put them in their box and have Maggie say goodnight to them.

Night night worms!

[lilynight]

ladynoir are the type of best friends that accidentally raise each other's standards until literally no one but each other can meet them. like, ladybug will complain to chat about how guys from her uni only bring her flowers on dates and NOT randomly surprise her with them like he does and chat will be like 'WOW literally how hard is it to go to a florist at 6am??? that's the best time!!" or chat will tell her about how he was dating a girl who NEVER bothered to call him any other pet name than 'chéri' and ladybug is like, 'not even chaton??? minou??? where's the effort??'

inevitably, one of them will always say, "wow maybe we should just date!"

inevitably, they both brush past that like it's nothing

[lilynight]

garfield could probably understand the mechanics of driving a car but his legs are too short and stubby to reach the petals. this is also known as "Yoda's Quandry"

[lilynight]

When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense...

call that the Ship of Thesaurus

[lilynight]

5 things your character can't do while speaking

Choke. Just think about it, seriously. Think about what choking is and imagine speaking while it’s happening. That would fuckin’ hurt, man.

Hiss. Look, it’s just not possible, okay? No matter how “evil” you want your character to seem.

Snarl. Animals snarls. The Beast from Beauty and the Beast snarls. The Hulk snarls. You know who doesn’t snarl? PEOPLE WHEN THEY’RE SPEAKING.

Shriek. Come on, 99% of the time, “shriek�� is not the word you want.Let’s face it: if you put an exclamation point at the end of the sentence, your reader gets the picture. Don’t bring to mind banshees and screaming toddlers.

Sneer. I’m not even going to bother explaining this one. “SNEER” ISN’T EVEN A SOUND.

[lilynight]

if you're just joining us, george takei is having to educate jk rowling on holocaust denial

[lilynight]

[lilynight]

remember congrats on the ethnostate