#i was also considering 'gay cheat on you' or 'gay sex'

[thetisming]

"it's pride month Del you know what that means!"

"what. do you want me to like. gay business. what"

[tevanbegins]

Well, I wanted to ramble a bit about how I totally love everything about the way Buck's bisexuality arc has been handled so far on 9-1-1. 💗💜💙 The sheer positivity and euphoria on display about it within the show makes me so profoundly happy! There has been no shame spiral, no element of exclusively targeted biphobia, only pure queer joy and acceptance thus far. 🌈 Buck accepted his newfound identity with ease, and his friends and loved ones also accepted him easily (his parents' hilariously weird reaction is a different story, but let's not get into decoding that right now.)

But it is Tommy's acceptance of Buck's bisexuality I really love the most. I especially adore how Tommy respects the fact that though Buck has only recently discovered he liked kissing men, it won't change that Buck has been attracted to women and will continue to be (Their exchange during the first date in 7x05 — I'm not lying about who I am / I didn't say you were, I was talking about me.) Tommy is a gay man but he is not at all insecure about Buck's attraction to multiple genders, and is not the least bit doubtful of Buck's same-sex attraction towards himself. And I think that is absolutely wonderful to see!

Moreover, this is kind of a contrast to the Hen and Eva backstory wherein Eva is shown to get pregnant from Denny's bio-dad (I don't exactly recall if Eva cheated on Hen with the man, but I think she did, correct me if I am wrong though, may have to rewatch.) Eva was a dark character regardless of her sexual identity but whatever this storyline was, it still emphasised the harmful "bisexuals get around" narrative, which shouldn't be condoned.

That's why I love this easy acceptance of Buck's bisexuality, specifically from Tommy's end so much, because bisexuals are often not only discriminated against by queer-phobes in general, but also face discrimination from within the LGBTQ+ community too. I hope Tim Minear and the writers stick to this positive approach towards Buck's bi-acceptance (self as well as from fellow queers and non-queers), because this is a rarity to see on screen. I'm sure there are more examples but I think the only other time I've seen this kind of all-round positive bisexual acceptance is for Alex Claremont-Diaz in Red, White & Royal Blue. And similarly, David Rose's pansexuality on Schitt's Creek. Whereas on shows like Grey's Anatomy, Station 19, How to Get Away With Murder, etc. I've also seen a bit of biphobia on display in the same space they attempt to showcase bisexual pride and queer representation.

So considering everything, I really want to see Buck and Tommy's relationship grow moving forward and see them be happy and madly in love, but I also want to watch them navigate different challenges couples encounter in their romantic journey and stay committed to each other through the highs and lows of it all. But while the writers are at it, I really hope they never reinforce any unfair bisexual prejudices through the narrative. Because the way it's been positively dealt with in season 7 by Tim & Co. is truly precious, and I wouldn't want anything about it to change! ✨🏳‍🌈

[ultrone]

hiya, do you have any hc’s dating young shauna 🫶🏻

🫀✶ –– dating shauna shipman (minor nsfw)

Puppy dog energy. Very needy. Wants to be with you 24/7.

Makes you explain to her how much you love her and how special she is to you in detail every day as if you hadn’t told her already a thousand times.

She’s definitely a triple texter. She checks and refreshes her notifications every five minutes to see if you're online and/or already texted back.

She stares at you a lot. You probably catch her staring at you with dreamy eyes about twenty times a day.

Definitely whimpers during sex LMFAOO. She's a bottom/soft-top but has a very high sex drive. She prolly likes cowgirl position a lot.

Y’all definitely have communication problems, at least on her part. If she ever has any type of problem, she doesn't directly tell you, not cuz she wants to hide things from you, but because she tends to keep her feelings bottled up, getting increasingly angry until she lashes out.

And whenever y'all fight, she complains about you in her cunty little journal. "Why would they do that to me? after everything i've done for them…" ☠️

She lets you borrow her gay ass flannels.

She has an entire journal dedicated to you, and she draws your initials in a heart on her school notebooks.

Very jealous. But she doesn't show it—she's very obvious abt it tho. She just absolutely hates the shit outta the person who's flirting with you and hope they die (literally 💀).

She's actually very smart—considering that she got an early acceptance letter from Brown University. She helps you out with your homework, especially with essays.

Very impulsive, always assumes the worst and acts accordingly, only to find out that she was wrong the entire time. For instance, once she was so convinced that you were cheating on her that she deleted all your texts, threw away the flannel you gave her for her birthday and cried all night while looking at pictures of you. However, it turned out that the person she saw you spending time with behind her back, was actually your cousin who was visiting the country. She spent the entire next day looking for that flannel thru the trash lmaoooooo.

She's so sweet tho. Always smiling and blushing when you're around.

She's very cuddly too, specially at night or when she's tired. She snuggles against your neck while you're laying on your back, with one arm over your chest and one of her legs resting on top of the lower half of your body.

She picks you up every morning for school.

If you ever break up with her, she would def try out one of those witchcraft videos from tiktok to make you come back. I can also see her getting a voodoo doll that looks just like you and talking to it 🤣

[judesths]

Based on what i've seen on the tl abt Korn and his actions and motivations in both ep 1 and ep 2 and his relationship to Tonkla I've decided to write some of my thoughts. This writing is purely subjective and was motivated by what I considered misreading of Korn's character and morals.

To get is out of the way in no way I am justifying him cheating on Tonkla, a considerably younger person, who is both mentally and economically is in a far more vulnerable position.

In the first episode we got their interaction and dynamic showcased both intimastely sexual and non-sexual.

To begin with Korn, he is a first born child, put under immense pressure to live up to the legacy created by his father, In the first scene we have with him, the audience can clearly see his anxious demeanor (not one relaxed muscle) on the way to the meeting with his father. He is given a new position, he must perform it perfecty to be the ideal son his father wants him to be.

Moving on to the scene with him and Tonkla, we see him obviously relaxed, drained completely. His relationship with Tonkla is his safe space, he can be himself, which kind of shows how good he is at compartmentalising his life as what I assume a closeted gay man.

Tonkla on the other hand is a young man full of life, passion and certain needs, Here we see Korn questioning why does he work? Is the money korn gives him not enough? Which he answers with 'I have to work too'. Here in my understanding, it is shown why they are attracted to each other, Korn loves to pamper the person he loves, Tonkla like the intimate, emotional side of that pampering and expression of affection. Korn loves the emotional support tonkla embodies and gives to him without questioning his life outside of the relationship, which for a person with his tendencies to compartmentalise is what he thinks works best.

Then we get their sex scene, this dynamic is reaffirmed here, in tonkla's need to be more intimate with Korn, showcased by the condom scene, in which Korn can not give himself completely. We can see here how much he wants Korn and yearns for him. Then we get the scene in which Korn expresses the want for both of them to feel the same physical satisfaction. Here it comes full circle to show the audience how much both of them want and cherish each other, Howeve because Korn is a person stuck in a cycle of constant social pressure by himself and his father to be the ideal son, this relationship can never be what it has the potential for, unless Korn changes. This cycle is showcased by the phone call that interrupts their intimacy.

In the followign scene, we see tonkla dejected, drained emotionally because he knows Korn cannot be present the way he wants him to.

Moving on to the second episode, we see Korn under immense pressure, trying to navigate the new task he has been given. Korn in my opinion is not an immoral person who does not recognise the damage the gambling den his father has him run does to people. He justcan nott mentally afford to care for other people's wel-being beside his famlily, again in trying to become a archetype of an ideal son his father wants, You can see his perplexed demanor both in the den in the first episode and in the second episode which we wil get to.

Moving on to the events of second episode Tonkla has lost his brother, alone and inconsolable, calls Korn. Korn in a distressing situstion and because of his habit of compartmentalising his life, langs up on him. We see torkla lighting a cigarette We know Korn hates in order to console himself in some way. There is also hinted at here that he may be taking drugs (we see an empty plastic bag he takes out of the drawer.)

In the next scene we have with Korn, because of the hacking incident in the den, and his subordinate telling on him, which he specifically asked himn not to, he has been summoned by his uncle gain we see his anxious, stoic demeanor upon seeing his uncl, and Fasai. Here we get to know the person he calls uncle fasai's father i assume, is related to organised crime syndicates has cleaned up the hacking incident caused by one of the sharcholders by killing him.

Korn's family is built upon a chain of illegal activities which makes them both in debt and vulnerable to Fasai and her family, The uncle. The following scene the uncle tells him `you have a lot to learn, korn'. Them we see korn's face tainted with pressure and desperation and the knowledge that he has to repay this.

In the next scene we see Fasai and him alone. Again his drained face folowed by Fasai saying 'no need to worry anymore.' The audience can clearly see the discomfort in his face in his interactions with fasai. He asks fasai with a guilty look 'How did your father took care of that shareholder?' She says she doesn't know and doesn't want to know and say if there is any other problem she can call her. She sits down, he drains the wine and strips.

The whole placing of the the scene, one is sitting and one is standing, one is completely clothed and the other completely naked will tell you everything you need to know about their dynamic and the places and situations Korn forces himself into in order to be the perfect son.

The next scene we have with Tonkla is his interactions with the policeman. The policeman wants to console him and reassure him that the law will find and deal with his brother's killer here he answers 'i've seen murders before. Most get just ten years. In the end all get released. This judicial process of yours, in that really ustice?' we get the reaffrmation here that is the kind of person tonkla is, he feels his emotions passionately and in a deeply personal manner. He loves passionately and hates passionately too and he hates the inadequ ate system's failure in stopping the harm his brother an innocent civilians was subjected to.

In the end, if the story progress to him becoming a real killer showcased at the bepinning of the episode, his disillusionment with was pioneered by the social classs he is from to will be partly reinforced by Korn (his den having sth to do with his brother's death) will make an interesting and dynamic narrative between the two we have yet to see.

[moestavern]

The HOMOE Masterpost

Shoutout to @butchbarneygumble for oking me to steal this idea from their Moeney Masterpost! Go peep that btw.

I see almost no one acknowledge all the gay shit these two have going on so i have to ship them all by myself and honestly that's unacceptable given how much this show implies between them. And with a ship name like Homoe? You have got to be kidding me they were handed to me on a golden fucking plater.

Blah blah i know these are jokes or w/e but its a show, no one here is real, you are not affected by me wanting these middle aged men to kiss each other (more than they already do) so lets get on with it!

This is currently only clips from the show, i will go through the comics/books/etc. if anything's hidden in there and ill add it to this post in the future.

This is gonna be a long post so everything is gonna be under the cut.

Episode: (S2E11) One Fish, Two Fish, Blow Fish, Blue Fish

Homer Kisses Moe. Moe responds with "not in public". So in private then?

H: Oh words wont do it- I love you Moe M: Not in public

---

Episode: (S8E3) The Homer they Fall

Just this whole episode.

H: Are you an angel? M: Yes Homer, Im an angel. All us angles wear Farah slacks. H: But you stopped the fight. Wont everyone be mad at you? M: Eh, lettem be mad. The only thing that matters to me is your'e safe. - D: Homer, your manager obviously loves you very much.

---

Episode: (S9E16) Dumbbell Indemnity

Dancing together + hints throughout. "if you squint" kinda stuff but ill take my breadcrumbs.

---

Episode: (S11E6) Hello Gutter Hello Fadder

Homer and Moe consider one another life partners.

Ma: Well, the one sure cure for the blues is to talk it over with your life partner. H: You're right! - H: I cant believe it Moe. The greatest feet of my life is already forgotten. M: Geez, Homer. I never seen ya this depressed. As your life partner, Im very worried.

---

Episode: (S11E10) Little Big Mom

When Lisa calls the tavern, Moe asks if Homer is going to another bar like its a cheating situation. Look at me however you want that's how im taking this. Moe's clingy.

M: Hey uh- is Homer there? L: No, he isn't. I dont know where he is. M: Im a little worried. He usually stops in for an eye opener on the way to work. L: He told us he'd been going to the gym. M: Uhahaha- Wow. Anyway, you dont think he could be at another bar do ya? Because i couldnt take that- i- i just couldnt. *crying*

---

Episode: (S11E16) Pygmoelian

Homer tells Moe his acting is a turn on.

M: The one hole ive never been able to fix is the one in my soul. H: That was amazing Moe. Im actually a little turned on. M: Yeah, hey i gotta gift.

---

Episode: (S16E7) Mommie Beerest

The thing i dont say is that i primarily ship all three of them together especially during late seasons. Reading "Moe takes the place of marge" jokes as shippy is- a bit of a stretch? whatever, it includes Moe telling Homer "i love you" and Homer calling Moe "Honey".

H: What would Marge say? M: Do whatever you have to do to save Moe's. I love my Homie. H: Ok honey, ill do it! Ma: What's going on here? M: Nothin- Nothing.

Also Homer and Moe sharing a bed 1/2.

---

Episode: (S17E5) Marge's Son Poisoning

If i had a nickel for every time Moe and Homer were called life partners id have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but its weird that it happened twice. (This has to be a lie, im certain there is a third time this has happened, i have yet to find it again) "They're lying, they're trying to hustle" um stfu- idc that's his life partner. he said so.

RT: God dern it son- what tha hell kinna sissy are you? M: Hey are you calling my life partner a sissy? Cause a hundred bucks says he could whoop you in arm wrestling.

---

Episode: (S18E6: Moe n' a Lisa)

Moe tells Homer he loves him.

H: Seriously Moe, I think you have a gift. M: Thanks Homer, I love you man. H: OoooOH you love a man.

---

Episode: (S20E8) The Burns and The Bees

Moe explains bees having sex to Homer and Homer thinks Moe is talking about the two of them.

H: But how are we supposed to combine the DNA of two strains of the same species? M: Actually Homer *whispering* H: *gasp* You and me? M: No. The bees. H: Oh! Yeah yeah. That's what i meant too. I... have no... inclination...

---

Episode: (S21E30 The Great Wife Hope)

Moe takes Homer dressed as Marge to his class reunion. He says he took Barney the year before.

M: Lets go Marge. My class reunion starts in an hour. H: Uh, Moe, i have a confession to make. Im just Homer dressed as Marge. M: Yeah, but last year i took Barney dressed as Marge. Think how much better they'll think you look. Hmm? H: Well you better not leave me and talk to your old friends all night. M: Keep talkin like that and ill leave ya here right now.

---

Episode: (S21E21) Moe Letter Blues

Homer kisses Moe.

H: Moe, i dont know rather to punch you or kiss you. So im gonna do both.

---

Episode: (S24E2) Treehouse of Horror XXIV

Look, i know its a demon that looks like Moe and NOT Moe. But cmon what was this???

H: Listen, pal, you seem like an honest guy. Is there any other deal you can accept? D: Three way. H: Hm- You, me, Marge? D: Demon, demon, you. H: Sigh- I guess its one of those things a dad has to do. - H: Now before we start, what's the safe word? D: Cinnamon H: Oh! I like that. Now, id like to try something new, if you dont mind. D: Cinnamon. Cinnamon! Cinnamon! Cinnamon!

---

Episode: (S25E12) Diggs

Ok- so the way Bart describes his feeling for Diggs is really queer and Homer immediately compares that to his feelings towards Moe.

B: I met this kid. Little older. Kinda strange. I dont think other people get him but i just wanna hang out with him all the time. H: *gasps* Its even better than i thought. You found your Moe Szyslak!

---

Episode: (S27E10) The Girl Code

Homer kisses Moe.

M: Hey what tha hell? Get your kisser off my head puss! H: What? Its how greek men say 'hello'. Non sexual guy kissing is the best.

---

Episode: (S28E4) Treehouse of Horror XXVII

Moe kisses a picture of Homer twice.

Thanks @leibi97 for remembering this one for me!

--- Episode: (S28E13) Fatzcarraldo

Homer calls Moe his "sweet wonderful bartender"

H: i had a great day and i really wanna celebrate with the boys so dont wait up for me my sweet wonderful bartender, Moe. M: Alright but whos the boys? H: Marge's boobs. See ya!

---

Episode: (S29E16) King Leer

Homer carrying Moe into the store. But also i like this episode over all from a Homoearge standpoint.

M: When i cross this threshold i begin a new life! *Picked up by Homer* This is the first time that ive ever been carried into a store. Look at me now lady foot locker! Look at me now.

---

Episode: (S32E15) Do Pizza Robots Dream of Electric Guitars

Ok guys THIS is what im talking about when i say in later seasons i kinda ship all three of them.

Ma: Did you see how he ate his breakfast? He doesn't shuffle his pancakes like a deck of cards. He doesn't air drum while driving, or race the dog in butt scooting across the carpet. And he always won. He's not my Homie anymore. B: We didnt notice any of that. Ma: A wife knows. M: And a bartender. Hes just- hes just not the same. He dont spin Barney around on the stool no more. He dont drink beer from a crazy straw just a sensible straw. What are we gonna do about our little man Midge? Ma: Were just gonna have to love him that much more. M: I didnt think that was possible. - B: Im used to seeing mom upset about dad, but Moe. That really shook me.

---

Episode: (S35E7) Its A Blunderful Life

They love each other :)

M: How dare you show your face in here. H: Moe, its me, and beneith all the drinking and the jokes we have a real relationship. And that means something. M: What are you gettin at? H: C'mon man. Deep down, we kinda love each other. H: *thrown through window* M: Love you too

---

Episode: (S35E15) Cremains of the Day

Moe and Homer share a bed 2/2.

M: Oh cmon Lenny, ghosts aint real. eh

Holding each other.

---

Episode: (S35E17) The Tipping Point

Dont- Even- Get- Me- Started

M: Exact change huh? Thats it? H: Aw, i really wanna tip ya Moe, but i promised my wife id quit. M: Heres a thought Homer. What if you took the moolah outta your pocket but you just stopped before anything happened? Ya know, everything but the tip. H: That dosent seem like it could lead to anything. M: Sure it couldnt. H: *slowly hands Moe ten dollars* H: We shouldnta done that. M: Does that mean- that you wanna stop? H: No *hands Moe more money* *moaning* It feels so good *hands Moe more money* M: Dont stop you generous man *handed more money* *moaning* Aw yeah give it to me big boy H: *handing Moe more money* You like that? M: Oh thats the spot H: I can do this all night M: Right there H: Tell me you want it M: Oh god- Oh god- Oh god- Oh god! H: Yes- Yes- Yes- Yes! *Wallet sprays money on Moe* C: I need a new bar. - M: *following Homer out of the bar* Where ya goin? H: I cant stop tippin Moe. Im hooked on tha rush! I gotta monkey on my back and hes got his hand out. M: But, what about us? H: No one service worker can satisfy my needs. God help me im a tip-phomaniac.

---

Jesus ok i dont know how to conclude this post. I will make updates to this. I know im missing stuff.

This is about a 3rd of my "moe is bi" list so maybe ill make that its own masterpost.

Someone asked me today what ship dynamic they are and i told them "the dumb one/the evil one/the woman". My spouse and i have been watching Futurama and they pointed out to me it was the same dynamic when i said i saw something between Fry/Bender/Leela as a trio.

[quantifiableconnections]

I just finished watching Skam (Norway) today and let’s just say I’m not kidding when I say this is one of the BEST shows I’ve ever watched. I did take a lot of time to watch all the seasons (spanning over one year) but I enjoyed each and every moment of it. Well, some a little less than others. Hence, I have some thoughts and please forgive my yapping.

Okay so Season 1. I actually liked it quite a lot. The acting was good, and it gave a nice start to the whole story.

The getting together of the girls was the highlight obviously, but I really liked the portrayal of Eva in this, as a kind of lost teenager who doesn’t have a lot of direction in her life and is mostly dependent on her boyfriend.

I did think the Isak plot line in this was a little badly done, but I guess it was necessary for the big reveal in the end.

I think the fact that Eva was able to resolve things with Ingrid was very unrealistic, considering they had literally been besties and she basically stole her man. But really idk.

Talking about Jonas, he was majorly gaslighting Eva during the season so I think their relationship was a little immature. Classic right person wrong time.

Penetrator Chris is SO HOT. Especially in that mf smoky eye makeup istg. But he’s a giant asshole and we do not support him.

Season 2. Okay. First let’s start with the showstealer. Eskild my man. I don’t think Eskild is appreciated enough in the whole series but I absolutely love him!! He is so mature, and is such a good friend. I love the dynamic between him and Noora and even him and Linn.

Now let’s address the elephant in the room because why not? I did not like Noorhelm all that much. William never had much of a character development and we never get to see him expressing a lot of emotions. I forever stand by the opinion that Noora was too good for him. Many people talk about William’s support of Noora’s decision to not have sex, but really, that’s like settling for the bare minimum that can be expected from a decent person.

I think the dickhead of a brother had more personality than William. So in conclusion, season 2 did not really impress me but I’d watch it again for Eskild.

Eva hooking up with Chris?? The guy she cheated on her ex with? Can’t say I like this.

Season 3 is SO well done. There’s no question about it. I love Isak’s slow acceptance of his sexuality. From being a closeted gay guy who made homophobic comments to fit in, to a happy and out gay guy in a relationship.

Absolutely adore the boys. Jonas, Mahdi, Magnus. I especially loved Magnus and his take on the whole situation.

Eskild coming in and stealing the show yet again?!!

Emma and Sonja are VICTIMS. As much as I love Evak, they fucked their girlfriends over pretty bad and I hate them for it. Also, Emma is soooooooooo pretty.

The story of Even. His whole character portrayal. The picturisation of his mental issues. Chef’s kiss.

Minute by minute??? Are you trying to kill me here??? It is SO wholesome and they both have matured so much, especially Isak, dealing with his sexuality plus his boyfriend’s mental issues so delicately.

Their chemistry. Their chemistry. Their chemistry.

Sonja should NOT have apologised.

Overall, this season is tied with the fourth as my favourite.

Season 4. Sana is my favourite character hands down. She is portrayed so well, we see all her insecurities, beliefs so beautifully.

Yousana is my favourite couple. Evak is a close second.

The understanding between them, the intellectual conversations, the level of maturity. Just wondrous.

I did think the whole situation with the russ bus was overdone. I never really understood why Sana was so involved with it in the first place. This could easily have been summed up in one episode leaving time for more Yousana development.

Yousef is such a green flag omg. He’s literally the cutest out of all skam boys( my opinion). I just wish he had more screen time.

Elias and Sana??? Whatever bits and pieces we got to see of their relationship were GOLD.

I. Love. My. Girls. So. Much. I just wish Sana was shown interacting more with all of them, not just Noora. Also Yousef and Noora working together to thaw Sana??

I canNOT stress this enough. Yousef and Sana are the best couple ( besides Evak obviously). The chemistry, the flirting, everything was done so right that it got me blushing furiously through the screen. And they managed to do all this without showing any kind of physical contact. Just lovely. The way they counter each other’s opinions with such delicacy and respect makes me believe that they are definitely going to last.

The situation with Even and Mikael and all the balloon squad boys should have been given more screen time.

The way Sana’s faith and her relationship with her family were handled are commendable. We see the dilemma, the cogs of her brain working, and how she accepts her fate and doesn’t sway from her beliefs. I strongly believe that her and Yousef will handle their differences maturely and still come out to be a strong couple.

I SWEAR SHE AND I ARE SOULMATES?????? Cutest shit I’ve ever seen.

Sana and Isak’s friendship means so much to me. In Season 3, we see her rising above her opinions and respecting homosexuality. Here we see Isak figuring Sana out and helping her see beyond her strong opinions. And wdym Sana??? You are best buds.

Okay. The last episode. I absolutely loved it. It’s one of the best season finales I’ve ever watched. We go into the lives of all the girls and some of the guys too. I literally teared up at the Eskild and Linn part!!( idk why they still address Chris as penetrator Chris when his face is literally on the screen like people we know it’s not our girl?? Idk I find it extremely funny). I wish they had shown more of Vilde and Chris’ friendship in the past and not just the final episode. The Even part was absolutely incredible. His insecurities, his fears, and we see him pacifying Isak and not the other way around. Yousef texting Sana from Turkey?? And saying he’ll take her there?? My heart melted.

I literally don’t think Noorhelm is going to last long even though they have reconciled. Something just seems off. Joneva is back??? Didn’t really like the buildup but I guess they could be a good couple as they are more mature than the last time.

Okay. So that sums it up more or less. My favourite was season 4, closely followed by season 3. My favourite characters were Sana and Eskild, they were just so amazing. I related to Sana fiercely all through the show.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk. Feel free to give your own opinions please!!!!

[syrena-del-mar]

People forget that actors don't owe anybody the knowledge of their sexuality. Whether that be lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, demisexual, asexual, or any other sexuality. That includes their dating history or who they're currently dating. Actors only owe the public one thing: that they do their job and that they do it well.

If that job consists of partaking in CP/ship culture, consume their media knowing that what they show you in public is curated for you as a fan. If they're dating someone who is not their partner, they're not cheating you; they're not making a mockery out of you or of queer relationships. With ship work, they're simply doing their job how their culture expects them to.

Ship work is not queerbaiting. Living, breathing humans do not queerbait. Queerbaiting comes from a marketing tactic for fictional entertainment work to ensure that they don't alienate their straight audience while also ensuring queer interest. You're consuming BLs and GLs, where the shows deliver in the promised relationships. If you're consuming BL/GL, you should know that fanservice generally follows.

Fanservice works because it's understood to be common practice. It's acting, an extension of whatever series they're promoting. Also, realize that fans often find themselves so invested in a couple that a hug or even a tiny brush of their hands will be considered 'evidence' of a relationship. Friends can flirt, 'lovingly' touch each other, and mess around without it meaning anything.

That's still not queerbaiting.

Because of how advanced technology has become, we have so much access to these actors/actresses. Accessibility does not equal entitlement to know how they identify. Claiming an individual is 'queerbaiting' only causes harm in the long term because you might unknowingly force someone to come out of the closet before they were ever ready to be. This only pushes media/reporters to continuously ask for information that isn't anyone's business to drum up engagement, potentially exploiting them for clicks. There's no need to inquire about their personal life, relationships, or sexuality.

But what if they take cryptic 'couple' photos with someone other than their work partner? Stop searching. Take their social media posts at face value. Stop trying to come up with some 'gotcha' moment, whether that be actually dating their work partner or some other individual. It's their personal life (curated, but still their life); you're overstepping, and if what you find out upsets you, then it's time to pull away.

It's really that simple.

Just because you buy into the fantasy a little too much and invest yourself in the pseudo-relationship does not mean the actors are queerbaiters. At the end of the day, fanservice is just that—a service provided for the fans. In other words, it's a job. Finding out that an actor/actress is dating someone of the opposite sex does not make them queerbaiters. (Also, realize that dating someone of the opposite sex does not signify that they're straight; whether they are or not, it's none of your business.)

If an actor/actress's personal relationships make you so mentally unwell because they're not with the onscreen partner, it just means you've genuinely detached yourself from reality. I mean this sincerely, if you're at this point, find help. Try to learn and understand more about why you're putting so much of yourself into a parasocial relationship. It's unhealthy for you to get so worked up that you feel sick because two coworkers aren't together.

If you find out that you're not a fan of CP work because you feel lied to or cheated, just don't consume it. Simply watch the show, look up their artist profile to see what other works they've been in, and log off. Don't follow them on social media, don't look up their fan meets, or watch video compilations that fans have made for shipping.

You're the master curator of your online consumption.

Curate it.

[supersummer01]

Are your sissy desires compatible with your male desires?

Decide if your sissy and masculine desires are compatible.

Some desires will be compatible and some will be antagonist. These are the pros and the cons of becoming a sissy. You'll know when you have compatible desires when they can be tied together with the word \"and, \" desires that are antagonistic are tied together with the word \"but.\" This is really easy to figure out. For example Your sissy side wants to get on hormones that shrink your dick but your masculine side still wants to fuck chicks. Antagonistic since you have a conflict tied by the word \"but.\" On the other hand if you say; \"I need to shape my butt to be a sexy sissy, and being fit makes me a happier guy.\" Then you have a compatible desire between your sissy and masculine desires.

More serious conflicting desires are:

I want to have sex with men but I don't want to cheat on my wife.

I want a master but I hate being submissive.

I want to show off my sissy side but I'm afraid of what would happen to my career/family if anyone ever found out.

If in the end you can weigh up all your desires and decide that the negatives are outweighed by the positives then you should consider the sissy lifestyle and start taking steps towards it. If for you the cons outweigh the pros then you need to take a step back, not think with your dick, and take a good hard look at what you would lose if you became a sissy and think long and hard about if you would really be happy if you made those sacrifices.

Would becoming a sissy help you or hurt you?

Becoming a sissy is to make a huge lifestyle change and one that's impossible to hide. You can hide being gay, you can hide being a racist, but you can't hide haircuts, fingernail polish, and makeup. In many cases the lifestyle change doesn't really tip the scales in either direction, however in some it can mean the total loss and alienation of the person trying to become a sissy. Once someone goes down the path of having a broken support network, they often go down a dark road in life. On the other hand though, some men become sissies and become much happier in life. You need to decide if the outcome of your decision to become a sissy will help or hurt you in life.

For example. You might become a sissy and meet new friends, have great sex and improve your self esteem. But at the same time your family would disown you, your partner leave you, and your boss would fire you. You absolutely must consider the implications of coming out of the sissy closet before you ever start working to become a sissy.

I'm disgusted with myself for cumming to my sissy fantasies.

If you feel a revulsion towards yourself after you cum then you are experiencing a strong warning sign that becoming a sissy is not necessarily a wise choice for you. It's your brain throwing up a big warning sign that what you are doing is going to have a strong psychological impact.

Many men love to jerk off to the taboo and extreme, even if they have no intention of actually doing the things they fantasize or watch. In many of the cases of guys who think they are into becoming a sissy, they are often forgetting this fact. Most sissies felt \"right\" when they found sissy porn or the sissy lifestyle. They either weren't bothered by their interest or didn't care. Many men that engage in cross-dressing are doing so despite having no interest or reason to become a sissy. If you fall into either the camp of fetishists or being disgusted with yourself after cumming to sissy fantasies, then you probably shouldn't take on the commitment of being a sissy.

Conclusion.

In the end becoming a sissy can be one of the greatest things in life for some people. But I've also heard horror stories of transgender women who thought that they wanted to be something that they were not only to discover that everything they already had is gone, and what they wanted wasn't so great. It may seem exciting to become a sissy, but you really need to ask yourself why you want to become one and if it's right for you.

If in the end you decide that becoming a sissy is a good fit for you there are plenty of great guides and people that will help you achieve your highest good as a sissy. The communities are full of great people. If you do decide to be a sissy I wish you luck and welcome you into the sisterhood.

[policemanofprincesspark]

Babygate questions:

Do you think Louis might be in a Clay Aiken kind of situation where he was convinced to do IVF with a random woman? Clay Aiken was a gay American Idol contestant who was convinced to fake a baby. He almost went through with it, until he came out the next year after the stunt. They continue the raise the kid together. I wouldn't be surprised if the situation was similar, except they are too far in to organically accept that this happened. The whole marketing of Freddie as Louis' son is very similar to how Simon and his son were talked about. There is a rumor that his son isn't actually his, but that of Silverman and her ex. The ex and Simon continue to remain friends apparently, even though Silverman cheated on him with Cowell. The gay rumors of Cowell predate 1D, so I wouldn't be surprised.

I just looked this up and read a little about it. This is really intriguing. It seems like he just wanted to have a child with someone he was friends with. A lot of older gay men and gay men decades ago did this kind of thing, except without IVF by marrying their female friends and having children with them in order to convince the world that they're straight.

I see the original articles that came out before Clay opened up about his sexuality are honest about Clay doing IVF, so I don't see how this was a stunt to hide his sexuality.

Duncan from Blue did this exact same thing, except he actually had sex with the woman. This was also right after he came out as gay to his mother, and even his mother was confused when he told her he'd gotten his friend pregnant.

I considered this situation with Louis because in the articles about Louis becoming a dad, it states that Briana and Louis were "good friends" and that it was a "surprise" for them. There was even a gay man on a morning show who read the article and saw Louis's face and claimed Louis "looked like he was on his team" (aka saying he thought Louis also looked gay) and that if you read between the lines in the article it's very obvious what's going on, and he said "this is what gay men do; this is what we all do." And... yeah, I agree. I don't see how you can listen to a gay man say all that and still think Louis just got a hook-up pregnant by accident. It definitely sounds as if he and Briana were set up and knew each other a little and decided to have a baby in order to hide Louis's sexuality, as per his own choice.

If that's true, then I just plain don't get it. You're gay, you're afraid to come out of the closet, whatever. But why not, I don't know, have an IVF child with a woman but then raise the kid with your husband as well? That's certainly an option for surrogacy and would keep you in the closet at the same time. Yet there's so much reason to believe Harry hates Briana (see: the song Kiwi and the fact that he kicked Briana and her friend out of his concert one time). Why would he hate her if she was the surrogate mother to his and his husband's child? Just doesn't make sense. Plus they shade babygate too much for me to believe Harry and Louis are raising Freddie, so then what are we left with? Why would Louis have a child to hide his sexuality and then not just... take advantage of that situation by raising the child with his husband? Boom, now they have a child together! Great! Like?

Either Larry isn't real or the kid isn't Louis's. I don't know. Maybe there's a secret third option.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Since this wasnt the point of the post, I'm actually going to mildly correct the thinking here. A lot of American protestant pastors get to "anything short of cheating means divorce isn't allowed" but that actually isn't what Jesus says. He says "unless it be unlawful" and he is talking about in exodus/leviticus where the Laws are talking about what other gentiles must follow while they live in the land of Israel. Mainly, that you can't marry someone related to you [sister, step mother] or the same sex as you [ei modern so-called gay marriage].

It is likely with this teaching in mind that the disciples/Apostles decided in Acts/the council of Jerusalem that gentile converts need only follow the gentile-pertinent laws found in the Scriptures, and not the whole of the Mosaic law. Because, essentially, that's what Jesus said the Jews should be following.

It is very recent in history that its been interpreted that adultery is viable for divorce and re-marriage, because while adultery is unlawful, it doesn't make the actual *marriage* unlawful. Because otherwise, the interpretation has to be "the person who was cheated on gets to get remarried, but the person who did the cheating is still married to their original spouse" which doesn't make a ton of sense.

While it is a Catholic source, I think the Shameless Popery podcast did a video about this topic and it's definitely worth the listen!!

I'll definitely have to do some more digging into the subject when I have some free energy for it. What you're saying doesn't match up with the way that I've always been taught the passage, but I'm open to hearing out other perspectives.

You're right that I technically paraphrased a bit. The full text of the verses (just for the benefit of anyone reading this without context), in the ESV translation I usually use, is

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

—Matthew 5:31-32

The way I've always learned it is that the law given in Deuteronomy was addressing a culture where women were being cut loose by their husbands for petty reasons, and so they were being given legal protections in the form of a required certificate of divorce which would allow them to remarry and thereby regain the social and legal protections that came with marriage. The Sermon on the Mount then builds on that going "this is still a sacred institution, by continuing to divorce your wives (even if it's all formal and legal) over petty reasons, you're still missing the point and proliferating sexual immorality." And so the only time you should even consider divorce is when the marriage has already been broken by sexual immorality.

There's also the whole debate over how to approach the text in a time and place where either party in a marriage can initiate a divorce and how cases of spousal abuse and violence fit into things, but at that point we're getting into possible eisegetic readings.

[heretherebedork]

Honestly Mew is abusive as hell. To be honest, I don’t even consider they were already dating when Top slept with Boston. Yes, Top wanted to date Mew and was loud about it when he was still fooling around with Boston but he was not in a stated relationship with Mew. But Mew is so adamant to say that they were boyfriends and that he was cheated on. He was in the exact same situation as Nick but it’s funny how only one of them was seen as the injured part. I am aware that they reacted differently as I stated earlier, Mew said out loud that he was cheated while Nick was doing everything to not upset Boston. I am more talking about the outside looking in, that only were furious for Mew. Now Mew is using Boston/Top one night stand to abuse mentally and physically the two of them. I think it’s really problematic that he threw a drink in Top face and pushed in the water, it’s literally abuse and the fact that they are going to get back together without any of it being addressed is kind of like condoning abuse because it’s a same sex relationship. Even here with Boening, he pretended to push him away in my opinion, he still knew what he was doing as I believe he pushed him away way too late. I believe that Mew is in love with Top but I also think that he want to make sure Top suffer as much as possible and that he has taken his revenge so that he can forgive him and I think it’s toxic.

You know, anon, I don't have much to argue. But I will also say that Mew is... exactly what his friends are. They're all young and messy and messed up and doing their best but not really living up their best.

And Mew has never been confronted because everything he does is in terms that most people consider moral. He was cheated on even if they weren't exclusive yet. (I think of @respectthepetty every time I think of this.) But if he says Top cheated, if he accepted Top after the act and knew he was going to accept him and was only holding off to prove Boston wrong. So does that count? Who's right? They're both a mess, frankly. They're all a mess.

Mew was withholding the relationship label because he wanted to prove that he would win Top over Boston's three month prediction. Nick was clinging to Boston despite Boston's declaration that they weren't in a relationship. And they both got cheated on in a way but also not.

And Nick understands that. Nick was more worried about Boston leaving him entirely than Boston's sex. He just wanted to be with him. But Mew took what happened and turned it into something that he can keep holding against Top.

Honestly, Mew should not keep giving Top chances because if he's going to hold this over his head for as long as he can... he should just stop. He should give him up. He should stop because giving Top a chance is one thing and giving Top a chance... but also holding the supposed cheating above his head and in the middle of their relationship the entire time.

Every single character in this show is toxic and, frankly, that's why we're watching the messy gay show. They are all wild and messy and toxic and they're hurting each other.

Now, frankly, I'm more upset about how Mew is treating Boston than anything else. Because he knows that Boston is in the closet to his father and that someone had Boston's sex tapes and that he was afraid of being revealed and that it makes no sense for Boston to be blackmailing someone else when their secret getting out would also be his.

(Look, did Boston fuck Top when he knew he was trying to get together with Mew and then try to push Ray hard enough to make him decide not to out that event? Yes. Yes he did. But I think he's one of the least toxic in this friend group because he's also honest about being nasty and filthy and just wanting to have one night stands and that doesn't make him a villain, that just makes him a slightly amoral slut.)

But anyway.

They're all a toxic mess and I'm very glad they are. And I hope more people are seeing that they're all different and all toxic and that no one is perfect or better just because of their moral code or the way they present themselves.

[eldritch-elrics]

ok continuing from my tags on the "what does your blorbo think of gay sex" poll. here's what i'm thinking about wrt james sunderland. it's my blog so i can put whatever i want on here so i'm just going to talk about this now.

first of all i've only played sh1&2, so if james turns up in other games i may change my opinion... well anyway

so normally when i think about characters i like, i default to them being bi because that is fun, but in the case of james, i think he is straight. i don't think this is something he's thought much about, because he is not a guy who thinks much about his sexuality. all that shit is repressed as hell. we know this. moving on

all that being said, i don't think james would be actively opposed to the idea of gay sex. it's just not something he would consider at all, under normal circumstances (/even if he didn't have a wife). james is, however, absolutely not in normal circumstances by the time we meet him. does this mean there is a plausible scenario involving james and gay sex?

you may have guessed where i'm going with this. the real question is: could pyramid head represent repressed homosexuality? (well, bisexuality?) pyramid head sure is juggling a bunch of symbolism, and ymmv on the specifics of that symbolism, beyond the obvious (that he represents the judgement & punishment james feels he deserves). it's pretty easy to argue that he also represents james's repressed sexuality as a whole (given the mannequin cutscene, the symbolic penetration of maria, you know what i mean). in both of these instances, he's also trying to cut away distractions so that james can get to his goal & to his final realization with clearer eyes. why does he do that in such a sexually charged way, though? uh... idk. let's see if i come up with an answer by the end of this post

you've also got the "is pyramid head meant to be sexy" question. well... he is definitely a muscular guy. his particular design on the ps2 version makes it kind of difficult to tell where his clothes and skin begin & end. i would argue this makes him less an object of desire and moreso something like a sexual rival for james. like - this sort of sexual hypermasculinity that james sees himself as distant from or weaker than. maybe he represents james's fear that his own instincts and his own wants from his relationships (not necessarily sexual wants) are ultimately predatory or harmful for the people he loves. (yay i did come up with an answer!) (also bookmarking this thought as i want to expand on it in another, better post)

coming back to the central (?) question of this essay (??). could james fuck pyramid head? is there enough thematic precedent for it? if he did... under what circumstances would that even make sense? it feels pretty clear to me that this would have to be an extension of a sex-as-punishment complex - james manifests pyramid head (sexual edition) to put him (james) in his place / establish dominance over him, thus validating his own feelings of weakness/helplessness and lack of control over things that happen in his relationships.

if pyramid head's whole goal is to get james to recognize his guilt about mary, though... i'm not sure. it feels like james would go into this whole thing as a distraction (but in a different way than how maria is a distraction - i legitimately do not think james would view sex with pyramid head as "real sex" ie. something that would count as cheating on mary). pyramid head, though... i think there's something to be said about the raw and tactile nature of sex. it could be kinda like their first fight: they rough each other up, and then PH leaves. PH would refuse to be anything permanent, and just leave james with lots of questions about what the hell he's doing here.

idk. many questions. it's very late and idk how much sense this makes. maybe i'll write a fanfic about this or something lmao

[korkiekenobiconfirmed]

I'm on a roll with the s/j/m hatred tn so I'm going to compile a masterlist of all her shitty lgbt/poc representation and why it sucks booty cheeks. it should be noted that none of this is meant as shade on any of the characters themselves... I actually happen to like quite a lot of them

EDIT: there are some nice additions to this post in the notes you can check out

LGBT rep

Aedion (Bi/Pan)

Literally known as “Adarlan’s Whore” (a nickname that references both his allegiance to the king and his tendency to sleep around)

His only same-sex relationship is with a vaguely-mentioned unnamed lover from the past (it’s not even said straight-up that they’re a man, but I’m assuming they are bc they’re mentioned to be a commander of the Bane)

He’s shown being attracted to women and only women for two and a half books. He’s a womanizer retconned into the slutty bisexual stereotype

His liking men & women is compared to prostitution

It’s insinuated in koa that he slept with an ex while he and Lysandra were fighting (because the cheating bisexual trope is such a new & creative one!)

Helion (Bi/Pan)

He’s always trying to have 4somes with three of the main characters

Realistically he’s probably one of the most powerful/interesting High Lords but this gets sidelined in favor of him flirting with eVeRyOnE

All we really know about him is his name and the fact that he’s a bit of a manwhore… very 2-dimensional

He has an affair & a child with a married woman… just the Slutty/Cheating Bisexual Trope (Volume 2) :/

Mor (Lesbian? Possibly bi?)

She’s never shown in any real relationships (with men or women)

She had tragic off-screen relationship with a mortal queen a few hundred years ago

We get literally no hints that she’s gay throughout the series, she just randomly mentions she likes women at the end of book 3

She gets no happy relationship, she stays closeted to spare Az’s feelings (as though he’s not a grown ass man), she’s retconned into her sexuality most of the way through the series… just shitty shitty rep all around

Hasar (Lesbian)

She’s a villain, and a shitty one at that

Lesbian rep from a side character in one novella that half the fandom didn’t read? What’s even the point?

Thesan (Gay)

A very minor character & his unnamed “lover” who serve no narrative purpose whatsoever… thanks for nothing sarah

Emrys & Malachai (Presumably gay)

Oh look! More minor, background mlm that might as well not exist for all they do for the story :/

They are cute though, I’ll give them that

POC rep

Nehemia

First (and only) black main in ToG

She dies to fuel the white protag’s character arc… a very tired trope

She was actually a pretty well-written, likable character up until her brutal murder, which made it that much worse to hear about her organs strewn all over the room

Sorscha 

Described as “plain” (particularly in contrast to the white women like Aelin & Lysandra)

We know she’s POC because of where she’s from, but the way her features are described suggest she could still be white

Dark hair, gold eyes, “tan” skin

She really just fawns over white-boy Dorian every 2 seconds before dying a violent death to fuel Dorian’s arc…

…Aaaand I’m sensing a pattern here

Nesryn

Much of her character (especially in QoS) is reduced to her beefing with Aelin (and thus being villanized by the narrative) because of jealousy over Chaol 

Simply described as having “tan” skin (again). I think sarah is allergic to calling people brown

She is also described as plain compared to white protagonist

She has a (presumably middle eastern) family that only wants her to stay home and be a baker/someone’s wife

Yrene 

Once again very racially ambiguous to the point where she could even be white, with “tan/golden” skin, golden hair, and golden eyes

She almost immediately ties her literal life force to a white man she hated like a month ago. Seriously, can WOC not fawn over a hunky white man for once?

She defeats erawan in the end — considering she’s been a character for such a short time, this just feels more like a deus ex machina the anything really set up by the plot

Helion 

Not going to fully rehash what I said above but generally… he has great potential, but is basically not a character

Tarquin 

He’s portrayed as very nice and reasonable, if young and naive, yet he literally only exists to get manipulated/robbed by the main characters

He seems like such a sweetheart. He deserved much better than Riceman and Feyrug doing him dirty like that

I’ve heard rumors of a High King/Queen F*ysand plotline in later books…if that happens, Tarquin will likely be bending the knee and forgiving the people who fucked him over just a short time ago

Lucien

He’s described as very caring and loyal (yay!) which seems to always get him taken advantage of (damn!)

He’s portrayed (especially in ACOWAR) as someone we’re supposed to dislike when all his actions are perfectly reasonable

He’s literally retconned out of being white when it’s revealed Helion is his father instead of Beron. I’ve seen ppl get mad at “white-washed” fan art but it’s hard to expect much else when his original character description was straight red hair, amber eyes,  and “tan” skin (holy shit agAIN)

The people of the White Fangs from TOG

They’re described as having black hair, black eyes, and “tan” skin

They live isolated in the mountains (away from civilization) and are described as “savage” and warlike, always raiding villages in the mountains and stealing women away from their homes… 

Cain, who’s from these people, dabbles in dark magic/religion nobody else understands

This is feeling, intentional or not, like a horrible Native American caricature. Idk maybe that’s just me

[gillyeowalters]

As it is pride month, a not so quick reminder:

ARO/ACE PEOPLE ARE VALID.

One day, I met my husband. And I loved him. But I did not want sex. So I stayed quiet because it felt like I couldn't give him enough. I thought that we should stay friends. I did not confess my feelings.

It was my birthday, when we sat together on the couch and he hugged me and said: "You know, I think I love you." And I thanked him and said: "But you wouldn't want me." I laughed when I said it, but it felt terrible. But I needed to say it like that because I did not want him to think that he was the issue. I had memorized that sentence, so I could use it when I needed to.

He was confused and obviously a bit shocked as well, so I had to explain myself to him.

I remember constantly assuring him that it wasn't because I thought that he was ugly or undesirable (my husband was heavily scarred and often would feel insecure about his body).

He asked me if hugs were ok and I said yes. And we both decided that hugs were enough. And that is how we got together. We stayed together until he died from cancer in 2017.

We didn't have it easy. Not only because of homophobia, not only because he was a Jew living in Germany, a country that claims to be but never really was de-nazified, not only because I am intersex and considered a freak, but also because of ace-phobia.

When other queer couples started to talk about their sex life, we stayed quiet. Just because we had nothing to say. But that was not ok. Because that apparently 'made things awkward' for others. When we told them that we didn't have sex, that was also not ok. And then the questions began.

"Why?"

"Can't you get it up?"

"Did something bad happen to you?"

"Don't you love each other?"

But the questions were not the worst part. The direct accusations were.

"You must be broken in some way."

"You can't be gay."

"You should see a psychiatrist."

"You don't love your husband."

It hurt.

And then there was this indirect accusation of me 'doing this' because I wanted to 'feel purer/better/superior' than others. Everytime.

So. Let me say this:

I DO NOT HAVE TO BE THE YES-MAN WHO HAS TO CONSTANTLY REASSURE YOU HOW GREAT OR IMPORTANT SEX IS AND THAT IT IS OK TO BE A SEXUAL PERSON.

ME SAYING THAT I DO NOT WANT SEX DOES NOT MEAN THAT I JUDGE YOU FOR HAVING SEX. I DO NOT THINK THAT YOU ARE WRONG, OR DIRTY, OR LESSER FOR HAVING SEX.

That is your insecurity talking. And maybe you actually are not so proud of your own sexuality if that pride immediately is hurt by a stranger telling you they are not interested in sex.

And it is not my job or the job of other asexual people to make you feel less insecure and fragile about your own sex life.

Sex does not gross me out. Sexual people do not gross me out.

Making Sex the be-all of all and everyone's relationships grosses me out.

And despite people telling him that I was mistreating him, that he deserved better, that he should cheat on me, he stayed with me, he cared for me when I got my spine injury and could only lay in bed, he reassured me that I was enough and more.

And despite people telling me that it was my fault that he got cancer because I didn't have sex with him, that I was weird and gross and that I could not possibly love him.

I loved my husband. To the last day he lived. And I still do. We were not married. But he asked me to call him my husband. Because, if the circumstances would have allowed it, that is what he would have been.

[kuruk]

i think half (not exaggerating) of the people here have never been in a relationship so that's why the results of any relationship poll are always a bit skewed. nothing wrong with that ofc but I've noticed people answering these questions as if they are some kind of logical problems and not something that's mostly irrational urges and feelings

that's true and like yeah nothing wrong with that, I did see that a lot of responses seemed to be from an outsider's point of view and separated from any emotion which makes sense as to why they were quick to judge people for not having the same "logically right" answer. able to see it as objective because they just have never dealt with actually applying that and realizing relationships aren't as straightforward and perfect as you would think they're "supposed" to be based on what you've read from like tumblr posts highlighting what a healthy relationship is..

like if you've never dealt with embarrassing or ugly emotions it's easy to see it as kind of formulaic. because a lot of people responded to the wrong question and instead answered about a different issue on a wider societal scale rather than even remembering to ask themselves what they personally feel like not even addressing their own emotions and for some it almost seems forced because they already have a correct answer in their heads and they're afraid of the deterioration of their own self image as seen by others and it would have them question their worthiness to be loved lol. like I saw some people call themselves crazy and insecure for having a boundary that I've known literally tons of offline straight women to also have like sorry... and that's *without* paying for it..

actually not even just that they were like "I don't care about porn but if my partner was directly privately sexting an e-girl that obviously isn't cheating but I think I'd be a little sad because I'm too jealous and insecure and irrational.." Like I think it's probably normal for plenty of couples to be open about porn and include it in their sex lives and I don't think that there's something seriously abnormal about the people who want that but on a wider scale I think some people are too scared to even confront whether that's their wish as well and they don't address the emotions that would get them labeled negatively. I know most people in our tumblr circles here are gay but this feels like it has a lot to do with misogyny sorry help like I've seen a lot of straight and bisexual women trick themselves into thinking they're too crazy because their boyfriend is just devoid of such empathy so they drive themselves crazy thinking they're just being hysterical no matter the level of maturity that they've handled it with. which to be fair I'm sure handling it maturely is more difficult in the first place if even the emotions alone are considered wrong. like experiencing feelings that already affect your self worth obviously get harder to manage when by even having those feelings you are now considered part of a group of undesirable and unreasonable women. so yeahs

[heymacy]

thank you so much for your answer! i actually didn’t expect such a in depth response— it actually made me kind of excited to rewatch the show so that i can give those seasons a try! i watched shameless as it was airing around s3 so it was really hard for me to cope with the idea of watching ian ‘moving on’ and bashing mickey without knowing he would be back etc. but i guess it should be time to face that considering who he gets married to! tho, if it’s okay, i wanted to ask more cause i love to see your take on it! for what ive gathered caleb cheated on ian with a girl saying it ‘didn’t count’, but was he also the one who told ian to try to be with a girl? cause i remember seeing something about it and it really pissed me off that ian even went and ‘tried’, considering s1 was him being very vocal about non being into girls! as for trevor, i did know about the monica ‘get over it’ clip because i always see people comparing it to how mickey has always been supportive no matter what (of course!!!) and also how trevor kind of forced himself on ian. i wanted to know what’s your opinion on those relationships of his, especially trevor cause it seems like it’s been the most controversial one as he spent two seasons around him. it’s funny in a way because the writers didn’t want mickey back but they still made every love interests ian had to be ‘wrong’ and showing everything that mickey would never do! also, this is out of pettiness mostly but considering all those seasons are about his bipolar disorder, does ian ever say that to his partners as a way to break up? or can i have a little of happiness thinking he just really wanted to protect who matters the most *cough* mickey *cough*. again, thank you for taking your time answering my question, i loved reading it!

hello again! more under the cut bc i'm quite chatty :)

first of all, yes, the "it doesn't count" + trying to have sex with a girl thing is true, and it honestly never felt very in-character for me. it was definitely A Choice on behalf of the writers. in fact, he gargles with mouthwash afterwards (or maybe it's vodka, i can't remember) and says "i think i have PTSD", which (of course) is meant to be humorous, but i do think it was a very jarring and confusing experience for him.

ohhhhhhh boy. the trevor of it all. well, let's begin by saying that there's a lot of controversy surrounding trevor. there are some really rancid anti-trevor takes that i don't agree with, primarily the ones rooted in transphobia, which i think is disgusting and abhorrent. i think people are generally either very anti-trevor or pretty neutral on him. i don't think anyone out there is singing his praises, or at least i've never heard a take like that in the time i've been in the fandom. as for me & my opinion, i think he is an incredibly frustrating, pretentious, self-serving character and he irritates me deeply. i think that while he could have been a good friend to ian, he fucked things up by trying to be his boyfriend. they were incompatible from the start and i honestly don't know why they started anything in the first place. like i know why, i just don't understand it. they had no spark. they had no connection. their only commonalities were that they were 1) both gay and 2) into advocating for homeless + at-risk youth. and that's like, it. they had friendly coworker energy, not electric, bone-shattering chemistry. my rating? 0/10 stars. i was very happy when he was written off and ian was left to sort his shit out on his own, unencumbered by a dissatisfying, toxic relationship.

and caleb.......ugh. fucking caleb! i'm surprised he doesn't get vertigo from riding such a high horse. he treated ian like an accessory and consistently put him in uncomfortable situations for no reason other than his own pleasure and/or to manipulate other people. the ONLY good thing he did was lead ian down the EMT path, and that is it. otherwise he was quite literally the worst. imagine cheating on someone and then being like "actually, this is a you issue." alexa, define "cold-blooded" 🙄

to answer your question, ian never credits his bipolar disorder when ending things with any other partner, no. trevor ended because ian ran off with mickey and lied to him about it/cheated on him (though they did spend another season in each other's lives in a really strange capacity, which was an interesting choice by the writers) and caleb ended because he cheated on ian. caleb was a clean break whereas trevor was super messy and drawn-out. but no, he doesn't talk about wanting to protect them from his disorder during their breakups. he tells them both about it early on, is transparent about it, and expresses his concerns about it being a lot to handle, but it isn't credited as the reason for the breakups, no.

i think when it comes to ian protecting mickey from his disorder, it's important for us to view things through an ian-centric lens. why did he do what he did? was it solely to protect mickey, or was it coming from a place of insecurity? a place where he felt like a burden? a place where he felt hopeless and aimless and scared? post-episode and post-diagnosis, it's very common to fall into what i like to call The Pit, which is essentially a shallow bed of self-loathing and the desire to self-isolate away from everyone and everything. we see a lot of that in the end of s5 and the beginning of s6. he's made himself very small, is afraid to do nearly anything for fear of further destruction, and feels incredibly trapped and frightened by his circumstances. all of these factors contribute to his behaviors and choices, including (but not limited to) breaking up with mickey. did he end things because he didn't want mickey to spend his life coping with the realities of loving someone with this disorder? yes. but he did what he did because he was scared. and i think it's really important we make that distinction when talking about and analyzing that storyline.

as always, if there's anything you want to talk about or if you have any other questions you are always welcome in my inbox! i hope you're having a lovely day 💛