#i was actually expecting simon to get more screen time.. i love the way he realised how betty was always making sacrifices for him but | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

justagalwhowrites · 1 year ago

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Lavender - Ch. 21

When someone you dread comes to the QZ, Joel takes matters into his own hands. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-20 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Description of past SA, PTSD response, torture. No use of Y/N. 18+ only, minors DNI!

Length: 7.2k

Friday, April 17, 2015 - Four Years Later

“So you’re not going to be Dr. And Mr… Fuck, what was his name again?” Andrew snapped off a bite of jerky.

“His first name was Simon,” you said. “I’m not actually sure if I ever got his last name.”

“So you’re not going to be Dr. And Mr. what’s-his-name why?”

“Because he had a weird problem with the fact that he’d sometimes have to share a bed with my best friend,” you shrugged.

Jess groaned.

“He was fine with it at first when he assumed the best friend had a vagina and he thought he could finagle a three way out of it,” you said, taking a drink of water. “Got a little less OK with it when I said the name Andrew…”

“You guys don’t even do that much anymore!” Jess said. You and Andrew both looked at her for a moment. She sighed. “You do that every time I go outside the QZ don’t you.”

“It’s like you don’t know me at all,” Andrew kissed her temple. She sighed, leaning into him.

“Almost like he’s attached to his wife and has a hard time coping when she’s out dealing with the end of the world,” you said. “He’s just strange that way…”

She rolled her eyes.

“Who knew I’d be a part of the codependency club…. Well, hopefully now that the new batch of guards are coming in they won’t need me as much,” she sighed. “They’re supposed to be getting a few other people who are equipped to go help with field psych evaluations with this bunch…”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Andrew muttered. “They’re only after muscle, they don’t give a shit about anything else.”

“Isn’t this group supposed to be pretty big, though?” You asked. “We’ve got Marta coming in to help with processing for health screenings in like an hour…”

“You say that like it’s not going to just be more goons,” Andrew said. “With all the shit that’s going on… There was a shoot out just a few blocks away the other day. FEDRA’s losing their grip.”

“They ever bug the clinic break room we’re going to be next on the executioner’s block,” you muttered.

“Makes me nervous, talking about this stuff here,” Jess said. “No one likes it but…”

You were quiet for a minute.

“Any other dates coming up soon?” Jess changed the subject. “I still liked Sean…”

“He did stick around for a bit,” Andrew nodded. “He lasted, what, four months?”

“Yup,” you nodded. “I liked him, too. But, you know…”

They didn’t respond. They didn’t need to. Sean had said “I love you” and had expected to hear it back. You just weren’t comfortable lying to him. He didn’t stick around long after that.

“Nothing on the books yet,” you shrugged. “We’ll see what happens.”

“You’re just going to end up fucking Tommy again,” Jess narrowed her eyes at you.

“Yeah, I don’t know if I should be proud of you for figuring out how to have casual sex or if I should be frustrated with you figuring out how to do it with just one person,” Andrew said. You glared at him. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s very on brand for you…”

“Hey,” you cut him off. “Why are we talking about my sex life? I don’t get to talk about your sex life…”

“Ours is boring,” Jess shrugged. “Yours is way more fun.”

You weren’t sure if fun was quite the word you’d use for it.

Yes, you’d managed to branch out a bit since your split with Tommy. It took a few months but, when a guy in line for rations had asked if you wanted to hang out sometime, you’d said yes. Sure, you ended up having nothing in common with him but it was a start. Something you were now comfortable doing. Now you were having dates somewhat regularly. Even if you weren’t always sure you understood the point of it.

You’d only been broken up with Tommy a few months when he showed up at your door late one night, just before curfew. You were already in bed when he knocked on your door. You frowned. Even months later, you recognized the knock. You all but jumped out of bed and tore the door open.

“Hey Kid,” he gave you his signature, cocky smile. His bicep was bloody.

“Of course you’re bleeding,” you sighed, opening the door. He smiled sheepishly but came inside. “You’re always fucking bleeding.”

He sat on your bed where he always had as you’d stitched him up and shrugged out of his shirt, hissing as the fabric passed over the cut on his arm. You gathered the supplies and turned on enough lights that you could see what the fuck you were doing.

“Who’d you piss off this time?” You asked, cleaning the knife wound. It was jagged.

“The usual,” he said. “Believe it or not, this isn’t how I wanted to see you again…”

“Weird that you still go out and get into trouble then,” you muttered, checking the wound before starting to suture.

“I’ve been thinking about coming by, saying hi for a few weeks,” he said. “Missed you. Weird not seein’ ya all the time. This was just… the push I needed.”

“Everyone else OK?” You asked, glancing up at him.

“Fine,” he said. “Tess made it out unscathed. Joel’s leg is better. He just got decked in the face this time out, which he probably deserved for somethin’ else stupid he’s done lately.”

You laughed a bit at that.

“Probably did.”

By the time you’d stitched him up, it was past curfew.

“I can take the couch,” he said, but you waved him off.

“We shared a bed for a year,” you replied. “Just shower first, you’re gross.”

You were reading when he climbed into bed beside you.

“Kind of a weird place to ask it but, think we could be friends?” He said. “Meant it when I said I missed you. Don’t expect anything else but I’d like to be friends.”

You looked at him for a second, the shadow of familiar longing in you. You ignored it.

“I’d like to be friends, too.”

And you were just friends, for a while. It took some adjustment but you liked Tommy as a friend. He was funny, he shared a lot of the concerns you had about FEDRA and what was going on in the world, he was unfailingly kind.

A few weeks after you broke up with Sean, the two of you were sitting on your couch, watching a movie Tommy had found on his last trip outside the QZ, Cruel Intentions, something you’d never bothered to see before. You liked it well enough but the sex scenes… you hadn’t had sex since the split with Sean. The scenes were making you fidget on the couch, rearranging yourself to try to get some kind of relief from the ache between your legs.

The movie finally, mercifully, ended and Tommy looked at you.

“Proposition,” he said.

“Shoot.”

“We have sex.” You raised your eyebrows, he pressed on. “As friends. We’ve already done it, I have a good time, you have a good time…”

“You’ve just got a one track mind,” you rolled your eyes at him.

“No,” he said. “I can just tell when you’re turned on and I’m tryin’ to be a gentleman.”

You glared at him.

“No strings, no pesky feelings, just sex when we both want it,” he said. “That’s it.”

You thought for a second. Could you do that? You supposed the last time you’d had sex with Joel it had been just sex. You’d kind of hoped it would be more but you knew that it wouldn’t be.

“Just sex?” You asked.

“Just sex,” he nodded.

Just sex with Tommy turned out to be pretty damn fun. It wasn’t something you did all the time but it was enough to you from being too focused on the sex part on the rare occasions you did try to date someone new. It was easy enough to cut off when he found someone he was interested in or you did and easy enough to fall back into when you were both single again.

It was during one of the “just sex” periods that Tommy brought you to meet some of his… friends.

He’d just gotten back from a smuggling run and had a pack full of stuff when he showed up at your door with a broken finger.

“Figured why try to fix it myself,” he teased you. You just rolled your eyes and let him in.

“So I’ve been thinking,” he said slowly as you set his finger. You just raised your eyebrows at hm. “I’ve got to run this stuff to a meeting tomorrow night. You should come.”

“What kind of meeting?” You frowned.

“Just some like minded folk,” he shrugged.

“You’re being awfully cagey, Miller,” you said. He shrugged again. You smirked a little. “I’m not going to a swingers club with you…”

“Damn, killing all my dreams here, Kid,” he teased back.

The next night, he came by the clinic as you were finishing, the pack on his back, and led you across town to a building that FEDRA hadn’t done anything with yet.

Your body tensed. It reminded you of being outside the QZ, like a clicker or a raider was going to jump you at any second.

“You’re OK,” he said quietly, leading you down a hall. There was a firefly insignia painted on the wall where he turned.

“Tommy,” you hissed. “Are you mixed up in…”

“Just listen to what they have to say,” he said quickly. “It’s not what you think.”

“Don’t know what the hell kind of death wish you have,” you muttered. He ignored you.

The meeting was informal. It was Tommy, a handful of other people and a woman named Marlene who seemed to be running things. They didn’t seem to want to talk openly with you there, but they seemed to have enough understanding of whatever the fuck it was they were doing to not need to say much explicitly. Something told you that Tommy had mentioned bringing you along before.

After the meeting, you hung back with Tommy and waited until Marlene was alone.

“This is the friend I told you about,” he said, nodding at you. Marlene looked you over.

“So you’re the doctor,” she said.

“So they tell me.”

“Tommy says you’re doing some research,” she said. You glanced at him. “I’d be curious to learn more.”

“Not a lot to say at the moment,” you shrugged. “I’m trying to use some preexisting research on slowing the growth of fungal infections to see if I can develop a way to stop cordycep progression after transmission. Like an emergency injectable or, maybe someday, a vaccine. So we can have time to excise or amputate the infected tissue. I haven’t found anything that works yet, though.”

“What if you thought a little bigger,” Marlene said.

“Bigger.”

“Bigger,” she nodded. “Bigger like a cure. Like it doesn’t matter if you’re bitten beyond needing some stitches. Bigger like we get our fucking planet back.”

You laughed for a moment before you realized that she was being serious.

“You’re talking about developing a cure for cordyceps,” you looked at her.

“I am,” she said. “And I’d like your help. You don’t have to only develop what FEDRA wants…”

“FEDRA barely tolerates the work I’m doing now,” you scoffed. “I’m not developing this for them, I started doing this on my own and my boss was willing to let me use some facilities to do it in…”

“But a cure…”

“A cure is so far beyond unlikely,” you said. “We have nothing to build a cure off of. Right now, I’m looking for a bandaid…”

“Bandaids don’t do much for bullet holes,” she replied.

“When you’re the one patching people up, you come talk to me about bandaids,” you snapped. “Until then, let the professionals handle it.”

She laughed darkly.

“Didn’t think you’d be such a supporter of FEDRA,” she said.

“I’m not,” you replied. “I’m just a realist. I wish FEDRA just didn’t exist but they do and we’re stuck in the reality we’re stuck in. I’m not going to sit here and wait for some magical cure to manifest, I’m going to work with what I have and try to do what I can to make it better.”

She considered you for a moment.

“If your research pans out,” she said. “Would you consider sharing the formula with us?”

“Yes,” you said. “Of course. I plan to give it to anyone who asks for it. A hope for survival shouldn’t be a tool for power, I don’t intend on just giving it to FEDRA to leverage as they see fit.”

“We have a lab,” she said. “Out west. We could provide you all the support you’d need…”

“No,” you shook your head. “No, I’m not going out there with infected and raiders if I can help it. And my life is here. My friends are here, the clinic, the kids at the school… I’m not going anywhere.”

She sighed.

“Well, Tommy knows how to reach me,” she said. “If you change your mind. Which I hope you do. You would be an asset to our mission.”

Tommy walked you back to your place in silence. He stopped outside your door and you just sighed.

“You’re being an idiot with them,” you said. “Don’t let it get you killed.”

You doubted he listened to you.

Marta poked her head into the break room.

“Just got word from the front gate,” she said. “They’re heading our way.”

“That’s my cue,” Jess said, getting up and stealing a kiss from Andrew. “See you when you get home. Try not to wear yourself out.”

“I make no promises,” he said. She rolled her eyes, waved by to you, and left.

Andrew looked at you.

“Ready to get fucked by FEDRA?” He asked.

“Sounds like your average Friday to me,” you replied, cracking your neck, downing the rest of your water and heading to the exam area.

Things went smoothly at first. Marta and Andrew divided the men up, each of them handling intake for half of the 100 or so troops FEDRA was sending in from other QZs and training facilities. Then, the men went back to the exam area where you and the other doctors and nurses did quick exams and sent them on their way. You were on your 14th exam when you knocked once on the exam room door and went inside, without paying much mind to the name on the chart. “Hello,” you said, opening the file. “I’m…”

“I remember you.”

You looked up. Your stomach clenched. You had to swallow to keep from vomiting. Your heart pounded. Your hands shook. It took everything you had to not run.

You looked down at the file in your trembling hands, skipping over the first name and going to the last, even though it was burned in your memory, just like his face.

McCarthy.

“Always wondered if you’d made it through,” he smirked at you. “You look good, hardly know it’d been 12 years. How old were you then?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” your throat was dry. “I’m just here to do a quick exam.”

“Oh, c’mon now, I know what we had was more memorable than that,” he said, looking you up and down. Your stomach turned. “Know it was for me. You had… Well let’s just say, been looking for a girl to measure up since.”

“I just need to take some vitals,” you managed, getting the blood pressure cuff off the wall.

You barely remembered taking his vitals. Everything sounded like a high pitched whine, you could hardly hear or register anything he said. You were hyper aware of the feel of everything in your body, of every blood vessel, every muscle, every function. Breathing took conscious effort. So did blinking, swallowing. All you wanted to do was throw up.

After what felt like an eternity, you stepped back from him.

“You’re all set, Officer McCarthy,” you said.

“Have to look you up now that I’ll be in town,” he smirked. “Good to know that I can just start here.”

You knew your eyes must look like dinner plates, so wide and afraid. He seemed to like that.

“See you around, Doc.”

He winked, closing the door behind him. The second he was out of the room, you locked the door and doubled over the trashcan, throwing up. Your body just rejected everything you’d eaten that day, coughing and choking in its rush to expel it.

You’d spent the last 12 years pretending that McCarthy didn’t exist. That it had never happened. When he came to mind, you tried to shove the thoughts down, tried to avoid them, deny that there was anything to think about to begin with.

You rinsed your mouth out in the sink and tried to keep your tears under control before you rushed out of the exam room to find Dr. Lee.

Thankfully, he was just stepping out of an exam room when you did.

“Lee,” you said quickly. “I need you to cover for me, I have to go home.”

He groaned.

“Come on, we’re slammed…”

“I know,” you said, looking up at him. “But how often do I ask to go home early? I have to go home, I can’t…”

He looked at you and frowned.

“Yeah,” he said. “Get out of here.”

You all but sprinted for the door and out into the sun. You took moment when you got outside, doubling over with your hands on your knees to catch your breath before starting your walk home. You needed to curl up under your blanket, feel safe in your own space. It seemed like you might snap in half if you didn’t. You’d just started to calm down, to get your heart to stop racing, when McCarthy stepped out from an alley and grabbed your wrist, pulling you back down it with him.

You froze as he put your back against the wall, his arms caging you in.

“Now I know you remember me, pretty thing,” he smirked. “I’m the guy who saved your life, the lives of those kids you were with, you wouldn’t forget a guy like me…”

“You have me confused with someone else,” you could barely talk. He ran his nose over your cheek, smelling you.

“Bet you still feel the same,” he said. “Bet I could find out…”

“Please,” you choked. “I just…”

“Hey!”

Suddenly McCarthy’s body was pulled away from yours and Joel was in front of you.

“The fuck is this?” He asked, facing McCarthy. Your hand went to your chest, clutching the fabric of your shirt, desperate to get your heart to slow down. “Because it looked an awful lot like you were hasslin’ this girl.”

“No trouble,” he said. “Just… an old friend. We go way back, all the way back to the outbreak. Don’t we, Sugar?”

Joel looked over his shoulder to you but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“Get the fuck out of here,” Joel snapped. “Catch you botherin’ her again you’ll regret it.”

“Careful who you talk to,” McCarthy tried to step up to him, but Joel had several inches on him. “Probably don’t want to piss off a FEDRA officer.”

“I don’t give a shit who I piss off,” he growled. “Get the fuck out.”

He stood there and watched him go before he turned to you.

“Hey, Baby,” he said gently, reaching for you. You flinched back, your stomach turning.

“Please don’t touch me,” you managed.

“I just want to help…” he began but you cut him off.

“I know,” you said. “But just… don’t touch me, please don’t touch me, just don’t touch me…”

“Won’t touch you,” he said, hands up. “Promise.”

You nodded quickly, trying to not hyperventilate.

“Want to talk about it?” He asked, standing close enough that he could catch you if you fell, far enough that you didn’t feel like you needed to cower away from him. You managed to shake your head. “Want me to get someone? Like Andrew or Jess or… I could get Tommy.”

You just shook your head again, holding onto the wall, trying desperately to ground yourself. Joel hovered, watching you.

“I’ll be fine,” you glanced up at him. “You don’t need to stay…”

“Not going to just leave you here like this,” he said, voice gruff. “Especially if you won’t tell me why.”

“Doesn’t matter,” you said, standing up straight and leaning back against the wall. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes and focusing on your diaphragm, pushing it low in your stomach to draw as much air into your lungs as you could. You breathed out slowly.

“You left work early for it,” he said. You lifted your head off the wall and opened your eyes, looking at him. He shrugged. “I try to stay away from you. Usually safe over here right now.”

You scoffed a little.

“Didn’t know I made it unsafe for the big bad smuggler,” you tried to smile but you weren’t sure that it worked. Judging from Joel’s expression, it didn’t. “Really, it’s fine. I’m just going to go home, have a drink, put on some music. Maybe take a bath. I’m fine.”

“Who was the asshole?” He asked.

You winced.

“I really don’t want to talk about it, Joel,” you said. “I just really don’t, OK? Please don’t make me. And please don’t say anything to anyone about it, I’d just rather pretend this never happened, OK?”

“Tell me who he is and I’ll drop it,” he said. “Won’t tell anyone.”

You searched his face for a moment.

It had been a long time since you’d been this close to Joel. Probably since the night you’d walked him back to the QZ with his broken leg.

It hadn’t been as complete of a shut out as the year before, at least. Not this time. You’d occasionally bumped into him when out running errands. He’d give you a nod of acknowledgement, which was better than you’d really expected. He’d come into the clinic once - you saw him in the waiting room - but Andrew put him with another doctor. You’d even seen him once at his apartment. You’d come by when Tommy said to meet him there, he’d said not to worry about Joel. But Joel came home as you stood in his living room, waiting for Tommy to grab the last of whatever it was he needed for whatever it was you were going to do - you’d since forgotten all that, too distracted by seeing Joel. He’d just stood there for a second, frozen, looking at you. You’d smiled tightly at him. He just went to his room, brushing past Tommy on his way by.

His hair was starting to gray, but otherwise, he looked the same as he had for as long as you’d known him. His picture was still on your bedside table. You slipped it into a drawer if you were having Tommy over or you were seeing someone but outside of that, you had a reminder of what he looked like before beside you all the time. It still killed you to look at him, made your heart ache with missing him and who he was to you once.

In spite of everything that had happened between you, you didn’t think he would hurt you on purpose.

“I don’t know his first name,” you said, looking down at his feet. “His last name is McCarthy.”

You managed to look back at his face.

“Please, Joel,” you begged. “Don’t tell anyone, please don’t tell anyone. I just want to pretend like it never happened and I can’t… if people know I…”

You were starting to hyperventilate again. You closed your eyes and forced yourself to take a deep breath and hold it for a moment before releasing it slowly. You looked back at Joel.

“I’ll do just about whatever you want, just please don’t tell anyone,” you said quietly.

“Won’t tell anyone,” he said.

You nodded, relieved.

“I’m walkin’ you home though,” he frowned. “In case that fucker shows up again.”

You just nodded, not feeling up for fighting with him. You tried to gather yourself for a moment and then started off, Joel staying an almost awkward distance from you as you made your way through the QZ. Like he wanted to be close but not so close that he might risk accidentally touching you or have someone thinking you were walking anywhere together. He didn’t say anything, just looked over at you every minute or two like you were a bomb he was expecting to explode.

“Thank you,” you said, stopping at the communal door to your building. “I appreciate your help with him. I wasn’t prepared for that, I will be now.”

He just nodded gruffly.

“It was…” you paused. “I don’t know if good to see you is the right word but… It was nice. Seeing you.”

He paused, looking you over for a moment.

“You too.”

He crossed his arms, watching you. It took you a second to realize that he was waiting for you to go inside. You opened the door.

“Night, Joel.”

“Night, Kid.”

***

Joel waited until you were inside to go lean against the building opposite yours, in an alcove where he was tucked away and largely out of sight. He was pretty certain this McCarthy fucker hadn’t followed you but he wasn’t about to take any chances.

Whatever that asshole had done, it was bad. Joel had only ever seen you that horrified once, when a raider had his hand around your throat. The way you’d panicked when he’d reached for you…

He ground his teeth. He needed to know what this man did to you so he could make sure it wouldn’t happen again.

Joel stood sentry outside your apartment for hours. After the clinic closed, he saw Andrew go up, but he was only there for a few minutes. You must have lied to him, he doubted he would have left if you’d told him the truth of it. He waited until curfew was only minutes away and went home, making it inside just in time.

“Out late,” Tommy observed, sitting on the couch.

“Got held up,” he said.

“Trade go bad?” He asked.

“Turned out OK,” Joel replied.

Tommy didn’t press. He wondered if you’d ever told Tommy whatever had happened. The two of you had stayed close after breaking up, you might have told him something you’d never told Joel…

He could think of just one person who would almost certainly know. McCarthy had mentioned the outbreak. Andrew must know, must have some idea.

Tommy went to bed but Joel stayed up. He’d told you that he wouldn’t tell anyone. You’d begged him not to tell anyone. But he needed to keep you safe and to do that, he needed to understand the threat. But what you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you.

The moment curfew lifted in the morning, Joel was out the door, walking quickly to Andrew’s. He had to pound on the door a few times and it took a few minutes for him to answer, looking half asleep.

“Miller,” he said, stifling a yawn. “Thought I wouldn’t have to deal with your shit anymore.”

“McCarthy,” Joel said quickly. “FEDRA guard. Name mean anything to you?”

Andrew’s eyes went wide for a moment before he grabbed Joel by the shoulder and pulled him inside, closing the door behind him.

“Where’d you hear that name,” he asked. He looked wide awake now.

“Not important,” Joel said. “Who is he. What’d he do to her.”

“He here?” Andrew growled.

“Tell me what he did.”

He looked Joel up and down before he laughed darkly.

“God, you never even tried with her, did you?” He asked. “To busy with your own shit so she never told you…”

“What did he do.”

Andrew glanced down the hall, making sure Jess was still asleep and looked back to Joel, his voice low.

“He fucking raped her is what he did,” he spat. Joel’s stomach twisted. “She’s never called it that, she never calls it anything. She likes to pretend it never happened but that’s what it was.”

“What happened.” Joel’s teeth were clenched. His whole body was coiled like a spring. He needed to hit something, the energy and rage needed to go somewhere.

“We came to a check point,” Andrew said. “Two guards, both armed, three of us. I was a kid, I was 18 but I was a kid and Jessica… She was trying to take care of us. They had guns and he told her the way to get through, made it clear he’d start shooting if she didn’t listen. She gave me the gun, told me to protect Jessica, he took her to the woods… She never told me what happened, she never talked about it. She just came out different. I should have fucking killed him, I should have shot him the second she gave me the gun…”

Joel felt like he was going to be sick. He’d left you. You’d been alone with two children and his child inside you and you’d been forced…

“Where is he?” Andrew snarled. “I’m going to rip him apart…”

“One of us needs to be there for her and it can’t be me,” Joel replied. “Needs to be you. She trusts you. You take care of her, I’ll take care of him.”

Andrew looked like he wanted to fight him for it but eventually he gave him just a single, stiff nod. Joel turned to leave before he turned back to him.

“Pretend you don’t know,” he said. “Promised I wouldn’t say anything but… Couldn’t protect her if I didn’t know what I was protecting her from.”

“When are you doing it?” Andrew asked.

“Today,” he said. “I’m going to hers now, make sure he doesn’t show up. I’ll get her to work OK and take care of him, dump him somewhere tonight.”

“He shows up at the fucking clinic and I’ll kill him,” Andrew said, his voice eerily calm. “I don’t give a shit.”

Joel nodded once. This was the first time he remembered ever really liking Andrew. He could leave you in his hands at the clinic and you would be safe, that he knew.

He all but ran to your apartment, leaning against the building across from yours, waiting for you to come downstairs. He’d been waiting for about an hour when he spotted you. You’d French braided your hair, like you were expecting a long day. You hadn’t put on ribbons.

He caught you quickly.

“Good morning,” he said, falling into step beside you. You nearly jumped out of your skin. “Sorry, wasn’t tryin’ to scare you.”

“What are you doing here?” You asked, frowning up at him.

“Making sure you get to work safe,” he said. You clearly hadn’t slept, you looked exhausted.

“I’m fine, really,” you said, continuing on. Joel walked beside you. You frowned at him again but didn’t argue the point. He walked you to the front door of the clinic in silence, you just giving him a tight smile and a small wave before going inside. Joel found a spot near the door he could wait, make sure McCarthy didn’t come in before Andrew got there.

Andrew spotted him on his way in, stepping over to him and keeping his voice low.

“He probably came in with the transfer guards that showed up yesterday,” he said quietly.

“Temp housing,” Joel said.

“Exactly,” Andrew replied. He looked Joel up and down. “Good luck, Miller.”

With your friend on site, Joel finally felt safe leaving you.

Moving to hurt the man who hurt you quickly eased the tightness in his chest. He may have failed you 12 years ago but he wasn’t going to fail you now.

He went home and got supplies. He didn’t intend to make McCarthy’s death easy. He needed to make sure he had what he needed to make it worthwhile.

Joel stood at the edge of the small market that was near the temporary housing for FEDRA employees. He figured McCarthy would need to come through here at some point. He was right.

Shortly after noon, McCarthy came through the stands, pondering what there was to buy. Joel waited until precisely the right moment, reaching out and grabbing the man by his collar and pulling him into a darkened alleyway. He yelped but it wasn’t loud and it didn’t take the man long to recognize Joel.

“You again,” he smirked. “Here to apologize?”

“Here for information,” he growled. “What did you do to her.”

“To who?” The man smirked challenging him.

It was a dumb move. Joel was so mad he couldn’t see straight. He grabbed the man by the throat and thrust him into the wall, hard enough to make him cough and choke.

“Tell me,” he demanded.

Now, the man just looked scared. He punched McCarthy hard across the face, enough to knock him out, and slung him over his shoulder, moving quickly for the abandoned building he’d spotted earlier.

He ducked inside, going for an interior room where his screams wouldn’t be heard.

There was a chair in the room, and old folding one. He tied the man to the chair and smacked him to bring him around.

“What the fuck?” He looked around, straining against his ties, his eyes wide. “You don’t know who you’re fucking with…”

“I know exactly who I’m fucking with,” Joel said. “I think it’s you who doesn’t know.”

He pulled out his knife and took the second chair and pulled it up close to McCarthy’s, getting right in his face.

“Tell me what you did to her,” Joel said.

“Look,” he said quickly. “It was the outbreak…”

Joel sighed, opening the knife and shoving it into the man’s thigh. He screamed, doubling over as well as he could given his bonds. Joel smiled.

“You’re going to tell me what you did to her,” he said. “I want to know it all. Tell me what you did to her.”

“Please,” he whimpering now. “I swear…”

Joel pulled a pair of pliers from his pocket. He held McCarthy’s head still as the man started begging and pleading. It fell on deaf ears. He pressed the pliers around his one of his middle teeth and pulled.

It felt good, expending energy this way. He was taking action, doing something. It didn’t even feel like he needed to pull that hard.

McCarthy screamed, blood pouring from his mouth. Joel gave him a moment to catch his breath, watching him bleed. He liked his blood. He wanted to see more of it.

“What did you do to her?” He asked through clenched teeth.

“She wanted it!” He sobbed.

“Wrong answer,” Joel ripped the knife from his leg and thrust it into his shoulder. The man screamed again. “What did you do to her.”

“Took her into the woods!” He screamed, panting for breath. Joel gave him a minute to pant. He could wait.

After a minute he spoke again.

“How did you get her to the woods, McCarthy?” He asked. The man’s eyes glistened with tears.

“I…” his voice cracked. “I told her I could give them a code to get through the other checkpoints in exchange…”

“In exchange for what?” Joel patted the man’s knife wound on his leg. He cried out again.

“In exchange for sex!” He cried out. “I told her I’d trade sex for safe passage, said I didn’t know the next time I’d see a woman, I didn’t want to waste it…”

“Did you have a gun?” Joel asked. The man looked confused. He grabbed his face, holding his cheeks harshly in his fingers, forcing him to look at Joel. “When you told her you’d trade for sex, did you have a gun?”

“Yes,” he sobbed. “Yes, I had a gun…”

“So you threatened her,” he said. “You threatened her and the children she was with.”

“No,” he man moaned. “That’s not… I swear, it wasn’t like that…”

Joel sighed and pulled the knife from the man’s shoulder before he thrust it into his uninjured leg. McCarthy wailed.

“I threatened her!” He panted, gasping. “I knew what I was doing, I wanted her and knew how I could get it so I threatened her…”

“And you took her into the woods,” Joel said. The man nodded. “With your gun.” He nodded again. “What did you do then?”

“Told her to get undressed,” he groaned. “Told her she had great tits… once she was naked, told her to lie down…”

He choked and cried. Joel sighed, reaching over and smacking his face, forcing him to look at him.

“Then what,” Joel’s voice was harsh.

“I…” he swallowed. He looked terrified. “I got on top of her…” His voice broke. “Please….”

“What. Next.”

“I put my dick in her,” he groaned. He was crying now. “I fucked her…”

“That’s not what you did, is it?” Joel grabbed his hair, holding his face close to his own. “Call it what it was McCarthy!” He screamed it. “What did you do to her!”

“I raped her,” he sobbed it out. Joel released his hair.

“Where’d you touch her,” he asked. He looked confused. “You touched her when you raped her, right? Where.”

“Her chest,” he sniffed. “Hips, waist…”

Joel remembered the parts of you that made you freeze when he touched them, parts of you that never made you freeze before. He wasn’t sure you even knew you did it. Now he knew why.

“That it?” Joel asked. He nodded. “You cum in her?”

“Please…”

Joel pulled the knife from his leg.

“You don’t seem to fucking get it,” he growled, getting in his face. “I like hurting you. I want to hurt you. I don’t need much reason to but you saying please? Makes me want to hurt you more. I want to fucking flay you alive every time I hear you beg. So answer the goddamn question,” Joel thrust the knife into McCarthy’s other shoulder. “Or I will do what I want.”

“Yes!” He cried it out. “I did, I came in her…”

Joel sat back, panting for breath for a moment, looking McCarthy up and down. He was covered in blood. He was weak, slumped over like he couldn’t hold himself up.

Joel wasn’t done with him.

“You know she was pregnant when you did that?” He asked. McCarthy lifted his head just enough to look at Joel. He shook his head. “Well, she was. With my kid.”

He stood up, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows.

“I wasn’t there to protect her then,” he said, flexing his fingers before curling them into fists. “But I am now. Can’t let you live with what you did, McCarthy. I have to kill you for her. But when I make it hurt? That’s for me.”

He swung, punching him in the middle of his stomach, knocking the air out of him.

“And I’m going to like it.”

***

The clinic had been fairly quiet that day, quiet enough that your mind wandered to places you didn’t want it to.

Andrew was no help. He was oddly withdrawn, only really responding when prompted, not initiating much conversation himself. But he didn’t fight you when you put on Joni Mitchell, so you were taking what you could get. You were dreading going home but didn’t have a reason to tell Andrew you wanted to sleep over, either. You were debating about how up front you wanted to be when there was yelling outside the clinic.

“Help!” Someone screamed. You looked to Andrew for just half a second before running for the doors.

Two FEDRA soldiers were hauling in a third man, holding him by his underarms and knees, the man’s body totally limp. He was so covered in blood you were almost certain he couldn’t still be breathing.

“Jesus Christ,” you said before yelling over your shoulder. “Kristen! Trauma!” You turned your attention back to the men. “What happened?”

“Don’t know,” one said. “Just found him like this, he transferred in with us there’s no way someone here hates him enough to do this yet…”

“Let’s get him back,” you said, Kristen running up to you as you headed back toward the exam rooms and the surgical suite. “We need O-, a lot of it…” She glanced around you to the injured man.

“Not sure that’ll make a damn difference,” she said but she ran to obey.

“We’ll start him in an exam room,” you said quickly. “Want to try to maintain a sterile area in the OR but I’m sure we’ll need it…”

They carried him into the exam room and lifted him onto the table. You quickly washed your hands and gloved up before diving in, looking the man over. Kristen ran in with the O- and quickly hung it as you cleaned up a place on his arm to start a transfusion.

“Do you even know who this is?” You asked the men who carried him in. The man’s face was beaten beyond any kind of recognition. His lower lip was barely hanging on, eyes swollen shut, nose crushed.

“He had his dog tags,” one man said. “It’s Lewis McCarthy…”

You froze, your stomach twisting. Your head spun.

“Doc, I don’t think we can do much here,” Kristen said from McCarthy’s side. “He’s lost so much blood…”

“We should try,” you said, on autopilot. You tried to find the worst injuries on the man. He was missing teeth. He’d been stabbed numerous times. His whole body was covered in blood and bruises, not a single inch of him left unscathed. You swallowed before pulling down his pants to see what might be on his legs when you saw it.

“Oh my God,” you jumped back from the table and into Andrew, who’d come into the exam room at some point and you hadn’t noticed. He caught you.

“What?” Kristen asked before looking herself. “Oh!”

She jumped back, too.

Where McCarthy’s penis had been, there was nothing. Just an open wound. One of the men who brought him in gagged and ran for the trash can, throwing up. You stared at it, the place where the part of him he’d weaponized against you had been torn away. Andrew held onto you.

“We’re losing him,” Kristen said, her hand on his neck. “Doc, I don’t think… there’s nothing we can do here, there’s nothing we can do with this.”

You nodded, shaking as Andrew kept you upright. He looked to the men.

“You should go,” he said. “Don’t need to see this.”

They nodded, trembling as they left.

“I’ll go get a bag,” Kristen said, staring wide eyed at him. “Stuff to start clean up…”

She left you and Andrew alone with the body.

“Andrew,” you whispered. “Did you talk to Joel?”

“He had questions,” he said, voice flat.

“Oh my God,” you stared at the body. “What did he do?”

“The right thing,” he said, squeezing your shoulder. “The right fucking thing.”

A/N: AHHHHHHH THE McCARTHY CHAPTER. I've been waiting for Joel to go off on him since chapter 8 and we finally got here. So satisfying to write, hopefully satisfying to read!

There is a taglist for this story! If you're interested in being added, comment below. If I've missed you in the past, please comment and let me know!

Thank you, everyone, for reading and commenting! It's been a dream to see how people feel about this piece while I'm writing it. Love you all, thank you for taking the time to read my work <3

Taglist: @paleidiot@ayamenimthiriel@ginger-swag-rapunzel@drewharrisonwriter@flugazi @pedropascalsbbg@taoyuji@starstruckmusiciansartghost@splendsay@bigboiseason123@jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10@sloanexx@ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn

#joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #fanfic

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philaet0s · 4 months ago

Text

Celebrity/Social Media AU - Part 7

Previous Part (Part 6)

Next Part (Part 8)

I wasn’t planning on posting the bits that weren’t on twitter/texting but I also didn’t expect anyone would actually read that AU here! So I *am* posting some of the POVs aha

Here’s one :) Just under the cut :)

Simon

“Your stupid social media addiction ruined my surprise,” Baz mumbles as I crush him into a hug.

“You came home for my birthday,” I murmur, more moved than I probably should be. I can feel tear burning in my eyes.

I’ve only seen him on Facetime for months. I’m allowed to be a little emotional.

“Of course I did. You really thought I wouldn’t?”

I shrug. “You’re so busy with your tour…”

“Not busy enough to miss your birthday, love.”

Gently, he strokes the side of my face with the back of his fingers.

I hold him a little tighter.

“I’m glad you came. I missed you so much. This is getting harder and harder.”

“Yes, I feel that way too… During the European leg of the tour, I could fly you out on the weekends if you like.”

I shake my head, then bury it against Baz’s shoulder. He smells like sweat. Maybe I could draw him a bath.

“Nah. I’d feel bad taking a plane every weekend. But I’ll come when you play in London. As always.”

…

He’s only here for two nights. His first night back home isn’t very thrilling.

I do draw him a bath, while he sits on the couch and relaxes. I turn on the hanging lights over the bathroom counter, which cast a warm, orange glow on the room rather than the harsh, white ceiling lamp. A bit of soft lighting will probably feel better on his eyes. I noticed that he kept his sunglasses inside. He never loved the aggressively bright and fast-changing lights required to offer his audience a good show at his concerts.

I even light a bunch of candles, the ones that smell like clean clothes –Baz’s favourite, for some reason.

I check the water temperature, which is too hot for me so perfect for Baz.

The room looks nice, smells nice, and the water should feel nice.

I head back to the living room. He still hasn’t taken his sunglasses off, and if I had to guess, I’d say he also closed his eyes, but he’s not asleep. He reaches out blindly, knowing I’ll take the hand he’s holding out for me. I kiss his knuckles.

“Your bath is ready, darling.”

His lips quirk up in a smile. “Hm, I love it when you call me darling.”

“I know.” I tug on his hand gently. “Come on, get up.”

“My body weighs a ton, give me a minute.”

“I can help you up if you like,” I say, as I move my hand to have a better grip on him.

I pull him towards me when he pushes himself up, but one of us uses too much strength and he ends up pressed against my chest. My arms automatically close around him.

“This is nice,” he murmurs.

“Very nice. But so will be your bath. At this rate, the water is going to be cold before you get there,” I say, amusement in my voice.

“The water’s probably scalding. It’ll be fine. Give me a hug.”

Well, I can’t say no to that, can I?”

The hug lasts much longer than it needs to. I have time to trace the familiar lines of his body with my hands, from the dip at his lower back to the curve of his shoulders; with my lips, from the crooked part of his nose to the angle of his jaw. His body weight rests almost entirely on me, it’s soothing. How good it feels to feel so much of him after only seeing him on a phone screen for weeks and weeks.

“Ok, bathtime now,” he whispers, while making no effort to move away from me.

Since I’m the brave one in this relationship, I step back and turn around. I take one of his hands in mine and lead him to the bathroom.

I help him out of his clothes, revelling in the sight of more and more brown skin. The last item I take off is his sunglasses. He has dark circles under his eyes, and his eyelids cover about half of his irises.

“You look tired.”

“Tour. Jet lag,” he answers, flatly.

I stroke his arms. “Love, you really shouldn’t have come if it’s too hard on you.”

“Like hell. I wasn’t going to miss your birthday. I’m glad I came. I just… I might not be a lot of fun tonight. We’re definitely not going out tonight,” he says, before he gets in the tub.

He lets out a long, pleased sigh when his body is fully submerged in the hot water. He closes his eyes and leans his head against the edge of the tub.

“I had no expectation of going out, don’t worry.”

“Are you going to stay with me while I take a bath?” he asks, half-teasingly, half-serious.

“No. But I was thinking I could wash your hair.”

“Hm, that’s a nice offer. You remember which bottle is shampoo and which bottle is conditioner?”

I don’t dignify those words with an answer.

I take both bottles from the cabinets where Baz’s things are stored away while he’s not home and bring them by the tub. I kneel behind the part of the tub where Baz’s head is, open the shampoo, and pour some on his hair. I massage his scalp, loving the little sounds he makes. Knowing I make him feel good, even in such a small way, fills my chest with warmth.

God, it’s been a while since I’ve properly had a chance to take care of him.

#snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #co/ws/awtwb #social media au

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saturns-cryptid · 3 months ago

Note

Lovingly wraps up some hi fi rush headcanons for you as a gift. Enjoy

1- While prototyping stuff for 808 Peppermint made a kitten sized test version of her to make sure everything functioned right

2- Despite hitting enemies with it Chai is overprotective of that guitar. That guitar has a name and gets dusted every morning and night and the first time he breaks a string he's So Devastated he has to lie down for an hour

3- he also flips 808 around in his arms like a lil ragdoll whenever she lets him and no one expects her to love it as much as she does. She's just smiling contently while being used like nunchucks

4- Korsica is a sleeper agent of a gamer. She doesnt really game much bc she has work to do oftentimes but the MINUTE she has a controller she is whipping everyone's asses at whatever they're playing. She and CNMN are their greatest assets in lethal company as the only ones who don't get stupid the second they see a monster on screen.

5- Macaron is banger at card games but cannot shuffle for shit. He always passes the cards off to CNMN to shuffle for him and CNMN takes the opportunity to cheat. Bc CNMN is not as banger at card games but he Will find a way to count cards in every game he plays.

5. Cont- Card game night is an entire event at the request of those two. CNMN has entire outfits with the visors and some fake cigars and everything for the occasion for everyone to wear and it somehow makes the table so much more hostile while they play.

tearing into these like a kid on CNY YAYY YAYY

(1) WHERE'S THE BABY NOW HUH /lh... i like to think pepp mighta named that little thang 404 or maybe 8bit.

(2) ??? Is the thing where Chai's guitar turns into a real guitar an actual thing? i thought it was just a visual thing ... either way though, i absolutely believe he's overprotective of that guitar both the scrap one and the one he gets at the very end. i personally hc he named the scrap one Anise and the Vandelay Custom one Clementine. (however, if we weren't sticking to the food theme, my backup names were Simone for the scrap, Calliope for the custom)

(3) SDJKFHSJKG 808 being manhandled is so funny and chai would totally do the (holds cat like gun) meme or do the "petting my cat but more aggressively each pet" trend or maybe spin her around in a circle in bed like this one tiktok i saw way back WBAHWAHBAHWB i love this one

(4) I LOVE THIS ONE... i just know she is banned from mario kart nights LMFAOJFJSKHJSDG. i remember reading this one and i went to go cook and while i was making chicken broth, i was like "wouldn't it be so funny if everyone else just happened to all get a blue shell while she was in first." i think that would be such a funny One in a Million scenario. conversely, I think Macaron and Peppermint would be some of the worse gamers. Chai's pretty decent, but he only ends up dying and stuff because he wants to cause trouble on purpose and on accident but ends up screaming and yelling KORSICA KORSICA HELP HELP MEE HELP NSJKFNSDKJG

(5) i just know the nights where they try and play like modded uno orr like monopoly deal are awful and contrary to Chai and his ability to aggravate, CNMN is ABSOLUTELY the reason why yelling starts and tables are flipped BWAHJBFJHFB. on this note, i also totally think they would do the same thing with board games. monopoly NEVER finishes on time or at all because everyone's either yelling about money being stolen, rent money and properties, and CNMN becoming the 1% every single time

#hi fi rush #hi-fi rush #hi fi rush chai #hi fi rush 808 #hi fi rush peppermint #hi fi rush macaron #hi fi rush korsica #hi fi rush CNMN #text post #ask #answer

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lvlyghost · 1 year ago

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Salvation III

Pairings: John Price x F!Reader

Summary: after a few months since his last visit, John finally gets the chance to see the girl.

Word Count: 1.4k

Tw: hurt with a lot of comfort. John being a softie, lots of trauma. 3rd pov. another foreshadowing to 'the things i never said' it's all connected. As usual lots of grammar mistakes and not proofread 👻🌸

A/N: sorry this took so long to get out, this mini-series was supposed to only have one part yet here we are. don't know if there'll be more. let's see 🤠✨💞

Masterlist✨

"You've seen it right?" She asks, crossing her arms. John stares straight ahead, at the screen of his computer. The videos have long finished yet he can't find the words to describe the atrocities he's witnessed. It's not like he hasn't seen evil before. But that right there was hell on earth. He inhales deeply. "Are we going?" The sergeant blinks rapidly, waiting for an answer.

"I'm certain I won't be dragging you to another mission. Unless I want Simon to actually kill me this time." Leaning back in his chair, John ponders about the possibilities. It was a risky mission but then again, what mission wasn't? He couldn't just ignore what he just saw. There was no way he'd stay out of this one, stay behind and watch some other team fail. They had one shot, no do-overs.

He set up a meeting with Laswell that evening. A café near Piccadilly to inform her regarding his decision.

One month after he was visiting her for the first time since he rescued her. She was placed in a room inside the NCA headquarters awaiting for the next interrogation.

God he hated bureaucracy.

"Heard from one of the ladies you like these."

She looks up from the book in her lap. Her eyes glimmer with appreciation and surprise. That was another golden rule. No men were allowed near her quarters. She didn't hate them but as a result of everything she endured she preferred to not have them coming unannounced; it triggered something within her. But for some unknown reason she had decided to let him in. When the lady that was now more like a friend to her than a simple officer, told her that Captain John Price wanted to ask for permission –her permission– to visit her.

She knew that name now. How could she not?

The man that had set her free from calvary. She immediately said yes.

He was dressed all in black from head to toe. The bucket hat he wore the day he saved her was replaced by a beanie.

"I do." She whispers, standing up and coming to approach him although hesitantly at first.

A stark contrast between them, she was wearing white pants and a white shirt.

Made her think of darkness and light.

"They treating you good?" He asks, handing out the flowers to her. She looks in awe, beautiful pink and purple hydrangeas.

"Yes." She answered dumbfounded. Her cheeks slightly burning at the gesture. John slides his hands in his pockets. "These are beautiful, thank you Captain." Her eyes flutter when she raises her head.

"Just John, love. No need for formalities here." Her lips part. Heart swelling with something unknown. John was kind, and had a soothing presence. "What are you listening to?" The soft music comes back to her eardrums, struggling to form a coherent thought.

"Umm, I- I think it's called 'to get away' it's... calming... quite different from the blink-182 songs I used to like." Turning on her heels she approaches the small table next to her bed where she places the flowers down then motions him to sit on the couch, he obliges, arms resting on his knees as she sits cross legged across from him. "Sorry I wasn't expecting to see you here."

He nods.

"Yeah, neither did I." he's playing with his thumbs, eyes never leaving her, who's chewing down her lip as a nervous manner.

"So... what brought you here? Did they tell you to come?" A small part of her couldn't help but be a little defensive. And John couldn't blame her for that.

"No." He was quick to answer. "It's not that." He shakes his head, taking a deep breath. The dimly lit room feels almost warm with her in here. Almost. Considering where they are. John didn't have an actual answer. Why hadn't he gone home after the mission was completed? Just like he would've any other day. "Guess some things just stick with you."

She hums, pondering John's words.

"I'm happy you're here, you know?" A smile spreads on her face. "Wasn't sure if I'd see you again."

He chuckles, face warming at her words.

"Would that be so bad, sweetheart? To never see me again."

"It would. I don't think I can thank you enough for what you and your team did." Standing up from the bed she opens a drawer, it takes a few seconds, she's rummaging around. Then from a well hidden worn out book, she takes a folded white sheet, although white wasn't quite the word he'd use. It was old, probably had it tucked away for a long time.

"This means a lot to me." The girl walks slowly where John sits. Looking down the paper as if she's remembering something. Someone. "Josie drew it. Said she believed one day we'd be free." Tears begin to collect in the corner of her eyes. "Only one of us made it." She hands him the piece of paper. John's dead serious, taking it with gentle hands as if it was the most fragile thing he ever laid hands on. He then unfolds it, eyes scanning the colorful patterns of pink and yellow. His heart shatters for the girl. Next thing he knows, is that small arms embrace him. He's taken aback but recovers quickly, hugging her so tightly like she probably never has been in a good while. "And I'm sure she'd be happy if you have it."

He doesn't have kids of his own. Don't even know if he ever will. One thing's for sure.

He'd call his daughter Josie.

It's the smell of homemade food that wakes him up from the deep sleep. He walks down the short hallway and to the kitchen. She's already pouring lunch in two big plates.

"Is that pasta?" His voice groggy from sleep. She turns her head, wide-eyed.

"You know for a man who's built like you, you sure are silent." Price chuckles, scratching his beard. "It's quite late, thought you'd be hungry. You looked tired so..." she shrugs. "Didn't want to disrupt your dream."

He sits down on the kitchen stool, as she places the food in front of him.

"Haven't slept this good in years." She takes a seat next to him. "Could get used to it."

She tries to hold back a smile but fails.

"Me too." She answers. "I mean that I could get used to the company."

John turns to see her, draping his left arm right above the backrest where she sits.

"Come with me." He pleads. Leaning closer towards her form. She's dumbfounded, jaw slacking as she meets his blue eyes. John presses a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I can keep you safe."

"Will they allow it? I- I want to, more than anything." She breathes out. There's something electrifying in the air between the two. Something none can explain.

"I could pull some strings." He assures. "Once this all comes to an end; and I promise we nearly got them, love. I'll take care of you, as long as you'll have me."

Her heart flutters at the thought of going home to John. His home. She'd welcome him every time he walked past the doorway, cook the best food for him. Get to see him every night and sleeping by his side, feel the warm touch of his hands in her bare skin. The only man she'd let come close enough to see it all. She lifts her hand absentmindedly, stroking his brown locks. A shaky breath leaving her mouth; the sound of birds outside and and car being parked. Officer Davis' midday visit, probably bringing another stack of books for her to read. The pumpkin bread she had ready for him to take for his daughters.

"Is forever a long time?"

John breathes deeply. She smells like cinnamon and comfort. The undeniable truth that she wormed her way into his heart so deep he doesn't want to let go; can't remember his life before that gloomy day in Bulgaria.

Before her.

"Not at all."

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mehidktbh · 2 years ago

Text

One Call Away

Pairing: Mafia!Simon “Ghost” Riley x Fem!Reader

Summary: Simon gets a call one day from you, you're panicking and crying on the other side when you tell him your co-worker did something terrible to you. But you don’t realise he’s about to be right outside your building.

Warning: Established relationship, gore/blood, torture, swearing, inappropriate behaviour, Soap is like Ghosts’ right-hand man, unwanted/un-consensual touching, crying, angry!Ghost, angst and fluff

A/N: Thank you to @fatedeniedhope for the help and inspiration with this and many more fics. Hopefully, everyone loves this because I'll definitely make more.

(No one knows how hard coming up with an idea was, I mean fuck I was stumed but this isn't my best work and hopefully, they'll be other (better) work soon.)

You sniff again, wiping the tears that continue to seep from your eyes, your nose is a bit runny and you feel hopeless. You pull your phone from your pocket, you're hands tremble and quake as you try to swipe through it before you tap on the contact you most dearly trust. The screen displays the brightly labelled name of your dear husband, someone you hate to call some days due to him always being busy but at this time you need him more than ever.

♡ ♡ ♡

The loud sound of talking echoes through the work building, you sit down at one of the many chairs at the conference table. Cups full of tea or coffee surround the number of papers and files, pens and pencils sit beside them un-neatly and un-used. A big projector hangs from the ceiling as it brightly displays the recent sales and downfalls. What's hitting hot and not, people's preferences and what changes can be made to the company.

"We'll revise after your thirty-minute break." Your boss said roughly, his voice is tired and demanding as his eyes skim over everyone sitting at the table. His head nods allowing everyone to stand and go off, and you're dying to get something to eat and maybe drink. After all, drinking tea and coffee every day for the same time for almost a week.

The sound of your shoes click against the flooring, you make your way past several people, some sit in their office cubicles while others stand mindlessly in a line waiting to use the printer. Your eyes wander over to the vending machine that sits there on its own, the hallway is mostly empty expect a few people walking up and down. The sounds of the vending machine pull you closer, you were originally thinking of going down the street to get something but now you scrapped that idea.

You stare in awe at the many foods displayed behind the clear display case, ranging from cholate to chips to anything unhealthy wise. But at the moment you are on a running thirty-minute timer and the last thing on your mind is eating healthy. Revenging through your pocket you pull out your wallet ticket away in your blazer. The black leather wallet is full of different credit cards and stamp cards that come from your favourite places.

You pull out a $20 dollar note and push it through the vending machine, typing in the numbers on the little keypad before watching the machine slowly get your items. "Good morning, Y/N." A masculine voice came from behind you, nearly scaring you as you turned around to face your co-worker. "Hey, John" You smile, nodding your head to greet him as he stands calmly against the vending machine, eyeing you up and down. "How's the meeting going?" He tries to make small talk and despite you wanting not to you engage in a small conversation.

"Actually I'm just about to head back," He sucks his teeth in, pouting his lips together, "That's a shame." His voice is low and sad, a smile appearing when you awkwardly laugh back, the sound of your food and drink smack against the machine. You bend down to grab them from under the flap before you hear John shuffle behind you.

"See you around, Y/N..." He mutters, his eyes trained on you as you bend down so you can better grasp the water bottle that rolls further away from your hand. You hum uninterested in what he just said before you feel his hand grab your ass, his hand low enough to feel his fingers graze your inner thigh, A short snickering came out from him before he walked off, you can basically see the asshole smirk from where you stand now in shock and anger.

♡ ♡ ♡

"Simon..." You sniffle, hearing your husband's mood change instantly when he hears your heartbreaking tone. "Fuck- what happened?" He asks, a demanding tone lacing his sympathetic tongue as he leans into the phone more. Trying to hear you better through your sniffling and hiccuping. Simon could hear your throat closing up, the way your soft kind voice was fast and sloppy.

"I- Can you come get me, please..." Your pleading falls hard against his ears as he shoots up from his leather chair, the sound of his heavy footsteps echoing through his hollow office. "Of course, dear." You sigh in relief as your back is met with the bathroom wall, you feel like the walls are closing in around you even though you have enough space to stretch out. "Now tell me what happened" You try to ignore the amount of background noise going on behind your husbands' phone, from him demanding someone to bring the car around to him getting in the car.

"My co-worker he... he touched me..." You were quieter, you couldn't shove the feelings of embarrassment and shame from coming up to stop you from saying those words properly. Simon angrily groans on the other side, you can just imagine him in the back of the car squirming with anger. Feeling the tightness that he has as he holds the phone to his ear, "Wait there, sweetheart. I'll be there in a second and I'll deal with that fucker', okay?" He reassures you of your safety and now all you want is to be in his arms, to feel his warmth and loving voice.

"Mhm" You hum softly, your tears low clearing up but the back of your throat still burns from your silent sobbing earlier. Simon receives the sound of the phone being hung up as he tosses it aside, barking at the driver to hurry up before he turns to Soap. A simple nod is all Soap needs before he turns to look out the window, a gory image set in his mind.

♡ ♡ ♡

You sit alone in your office room, the blinds closed and fending off any wondering eyes as you sit down in your chair looking straight at your computer. Your mind isn't set on work and instead, the time tickling from the clock that sits on your office desk, slowly ticking down till your squirm in your seat.

You nervously wait anxiously for what's about to happen, you haven't heard since you stupidly hung up on your husband. And now all you want to do is hear his soothing voice, his calloused hands and his beefy figure but all you can do is wait. Feeling as if the moment you had just a second ago wasn't real.

"Y/N." The door opens up, closing behind itself as a well-known voice soothes you, you jump up from your chair before falling into your husband's embrace. You feel stupid for letting yourself cry again after telling yourself you wouldn't once Simon would be here but now crying is all you can do. Burrowing yourself further into Simon's chest you clutch onto his suit, not one of you caring if a dark spot appears wet.

"Don't worry about that idiot, Soap took care of him." He whispered into your ear, his hand came out to wipe the stream of tears away. "You didn't... kill him, right?" You questioned. Still, that guy deserved all the hell he could get but the day he disappeared everyone would of pointed fingers at you. The thought of him dying was terrible but wasn't pleasant either.

"Don't worry about him, love. He won't bother you again" You nod, feeling the smooth silk fabric of Simon's (suit) handkerchief up against your cheek. The floral design was pretty to look at, the design is something you remember when you got it for him for his birthday. The thing is now something you see every day on each of his suits, the square handkerchief is different from his lifeless-coloured clothes and stands out. Reminding everyone he has a special someone.

You spot bits of blood smudges on it, the same ones you guess he cleans off his knuckles or hands when he's done with "business". "Come on, let's go home." He waits near the door, standing tall and neat as he watches you pack up quickly, throwing your laptop into your bag before your grab his hand tightly.

♡ ♡ ♡

Blood spills out upon the concreated floor, the red liquid is something Ghost has seen thousand times, he's covered in it and reeks of it too. "Toss him out." He stares at the hopeless men in front, the ropes thicker than shit as his skin burns redder than his blood. Soap nods in agreement, the sound of the wooden chair screeching harshly against the concert floor dies out the further he's taken away.

He mindlessly wipes away the blood from his hands, the floral handkerchief swallows the liquid whole. Ghost stands there, continuing to wipe the blood away, remembering your face as he does so. How frightened you sounded when you called him, he swore he nearly had a heart attack at that moment, hearing you huff for air. But now he neatly packs the handkerchief into his pocket, his mind set on getting back into bed with you.

He tries to gather up excuses to sugarcoat you into staying in bed in the morning but there's no need to work when he's already done it for you.

#simon ghost riley imagine #simon riley x reader #simon riley x y/n #simon riley x you #ghost simon riley #ghost riley #cod ghost #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #mw2 fanfic #cod mw #mw2 x reader

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confessionsofareindeer · 1 month ago

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Not to like totally rant but like let's get this out of the way, Season 3 Heartstopper Spoilers:

They kind of ruined the show a little for me with this sad ace rep., the carnival scene takes out the depth of Tori and Micheal's relationship, it makes it look like they're just dating, it cuts out their queerness and just makes them look like a messy straight couple. They barely had any screen time, which is fair, they're just Charlie's sister and the guy that's always around her, (no one even seems to know Micheal despite them having had class with him in the comics, but whatever, Solitaire erasure it is) I wasn't expecting to see all of Solitaire played out on my laptop for me, but I wanted some sort of complexity around aceness and maybe a reference to its existence. But instead, you're telling me a group of queer teenagers needed a fish analogy to understand aromanticsm? Really? In school I only had to tell the cis boys and the girls who stared at me funny what it meant, not my friend group that is majority LGBTQ. I thought this was supposed to be a dreamscape to actually show me and my friends, not-a-water-everything-down-for-the-straights-and-alloscape, that comes with every other story, this was made by a queer person who is aro/ace so why did we end up like this, why did I bother having hope?

I really respect how the storyline made room for Darcy and Elle had trans and non binary identities and that they were expanded upon in the show, I love it really and I think that it felt like things my friends would actually talk about. We have a slight reference to Darcy having an unlabeled gender but even this feels wrapped up as they come out as non binary, I wish it was just all less clean cut, less perfectly fit so that everything works out, do their's and Tara's sexualities shift to reflect changing Lesbian identity in a more inclusive world? Do they decide to be unlabled or does the idiotic queer discourse not exist for them? Can we have people who don't particularly lean one way or the other, or who reject this modern idea that we should fit into the straight designed trap of conformity for the heads to comprehend something outside their simple world of the nuclear family? I want sexualities nuances to be explained like gender's was. Micheal talks about it, so why is there not a large discussion or plot around it? Why does it end up a somewhat hollow scene?

Maybe my friends and I are weird and philosophical, but we'd spend lunch arguing about this sort of stuff, so I really wish they'd show it, I have the backing of the kids who loved Perks of Being a Wallflower and Catcher and the Rye (don't ask me about that one I haven't actually read it, on principle) that found Solitaire, and all the depressed outsider protaganists a little too relatable for our own good, that maybe Tori and Micheal shouldn't have even kissed in the book because people are only ever going to misinterpret it. So now looking at the show, I guess of course this happened. Tori and Micheals story meant something to me and so yeah, I'm going to be a melodramatic whiner on Tumblr about it.

Listen, I get the show is cringey at times, that it's for teens and their friends and hopefully their families too, it shouldn't be a savior or the end all be all of queer rep, it's silly, they go out and drink milkshakes and sleep in tents outside for birthdays and ignore for the most part the politicization of being a queer teen except for when it's needed for the plot and I so deeply respect that, it shows kids being kids and I thank the queer gods that it isn't the sanitized storytelling of Love, Simon that people have made it out to be. But tell me why we couldn't get this one thing, why the ace and aro teens couldn't get something that talks about allonormativity a topic that needs to be so deeply explained instead of this, and trust me, I love that Issac told Charlie he could go look it up, but he shouldn't have even had to do that, don't make our main character dumb when he's not, he said knew asexual, clearly being aro is the romantic equivalent. All of Issac's character is cool, but it feels almost overdone at this point, with Jame's and the subtle aphobia of his friends who really don't get how he feels, I don't know, maybe it's because I've lived it and most of the ace media I see feels in this same vein, I just expected better from a new character who didn't have an already written plot, they could have done anything with him, and now he's just the token ace.

I don't want people who think their's something wrong with them for being aspec, I like in these shows when people experiment with labels and attraction, but I also just want someone is confidently ace, or that finds out what it means to be aro and finally feels validated for not being interested in people, I want someone to push the boundries of what being aromantic means the way people actually are the ones who don't fit into the little societal boxes, which is what the show is all about, not to even start be wishful and ask for a character that's just aromantic, or just ace, or like Tori is supposed to be ace and and complexly arospec, but still has something going on with Micheal, in a queer way where the people in the relationship fine it, not societal standards. I kind of wanted the show to question more of what a romantic relationship even looks like, because, honestly, I'm sure I even know.

All the Tumblr aspecs are aware of the trenches of the stupidity of the infighting and microlabels that come with understanding and interacting in digital queer space, but I wish we could see some of that, the overwhelming forcefield that's kind of alienating but also tells you you can be anything, I want to see the screenshots of 20 different pride flags with their definitions and names from the MOGAI years on Pinterest or the images section online. We have the Am I Gay Quiz jokes, but show me someone who is too indecisive to fill them out, who get X on the kinsey scale. I want more, I want friendships like Tori and Micheal that lean into something that, yeah looks like dating to straight people, but manages to defy their heteronormative labels, like what's vaguely discussed by Micheal at the table but manages to be outweighed by it being what looks to be blatantly cut out as Charlie and Tori talking on the ferris wheel because Tori doesn't even say 'we're not a straight couple' but just 'we're not a couple', and that's so infuriating.

And you know what, maybe it's cinematic and creative and it'll all work out in the next season, maybe it'll all be thought out and there just wasn't enough time for it in the episode, maybe the glimmer in Issac's eye when Charlie says he doesn't know if they're dating is foreshadowing, but it could just be my naive aspec heart seeing what I want. To me it looks like they decided this was something the audience wouldn't get so they chose to leave it out, I want to believe so they wouldn't ruin it, but probably just to avoid the ultra complex queerness that comes with a disregard for labeling and an abolishionist mentality. Which comes to the point of me begging creators to trust that their audience isn't stupid and that if they are ignorant on this, they can spend 20 seconds looking it up like they had Charlie do (in an unbelievable scenario). They have such a big audience at this point, so can't we use it to teach people this time, things that aren't as easily accessible in information, the stuff that ends up in academic queer theory and pot smokers, the things that confuse people and use the medium to explain it.

I also feel like I can see a future of this show that I won't like that might follow this season, if my understanding is correct. I think we'll end up having some sort of QPR (queer platonic relationship, if you don't understand what this is, this next part may confuse you, basically the committed thing a lot of aspec and poly people find to be a good alternative to typical or traditional romantic relationships that have their own rules defined by the people in them). Originally, I hoped we'd see one with Tori and Micheal because to me that's what they're reminiscent of, I have a feeling we might see this with James and Issac instead, they'll develop a deeper relationship in place of romance, since James was looking for someone to be closer with and already really likes Issac, and Issac needs someone to have more devotion to him, instead of leaving a single person in something that is not parallel to a romance, which would be annoying. Because they're also clearly setting up for Sahar and Imogen to be something, if we were all paying attention, I see through the remaining friends bit. I get it, and yet, god forbid someone be on their own and happy, as we see Issac have a common aspec breakdown of seeing the trauma of heteronormative society fall onto him and have his reality slightly collapse, I want this to work out, and be good, but I'm so scared that they'll fall into a trap of trying to please the straights and the allos like they already are. Yet again we see all the characters in a show the victim of being coupled off at least symbolically, if I'm right.

All this for what, it's television after all, we have real lives, some better than others, but we waste them sitting at computers and TVs to escape just to be drawn back in, because even the fantasy is disappointing, I encourage everyone who just read my rant to think hard about all of this, give me your opinion, but remember this is severely online of a take and that maybe you should go do something not related to Tumblr that makes you happy, read a book or do a craft or something, eat a vegetable and drink water.

Edit: I take back what I said about everyone being in a relationship like every other show, because I really do love the way friendship is one of the focal points of the show and I don't want to ignore that, I'm just worried that they're going to ignore the original plots of some of the characters and there are already so few aro or ace characters in media

I saw the thing about Alice Oseman saying she was saving Tori's ace arc for next season, a little while after I wrote this, I sort of think that makes sense, even if it's still disappointing and if you hadn't seen that you'd be thinking the same thing as me, remember this was an incredibly reactionary rant that I wrote an hour after watching the show, anyway, I think a lot of my points still stand, I think there's a lot they could still do, and a lot they haven't, I'm annoyed, but it's not the end of the world

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im-out-of-it · 8 days ago

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season 1, episode 6 “of men and angels” discussion list

so I just want to start this off by thanking anyone who is actually reading my ridiculous and stupid thoughts because I know season one is long as fuck. but the reason it’s so long is because in the show and the books, Alec’s identity isn’t really brought up that often. in the first five episodes, it’s heavily focused on clary being a shadowhunter and jace. but now, Alec is getting more screen time 🫶🏼

1. Magnus opening up his home even after Valentine is hunting warlocks doesn’t get enough love. he could be locking himself up, hiding, but here is not only helping shadowhunters but also another wolf. Magnus has such a big heart 🥹

2. now jace is all like but I can’t ask Alec, he and I are fighting. and whose fault is that?

3. “same old judgmental mom to me.”- Izzy’s relationship with Maryse. Isabelle gets ignored by Maryse and gets treated as everything she does is somehow insulting

4. “He can call me when he’s done chasing the little girl” ok alec go off 🔥 he’s right though. Jace has thrown Alec to the side and expects Alec to be okay with it.

5. another rare smile out of Alec 🥹

6. Robert is now saying they can’t have someone the entire shadow realm is looking for outside of the institute. then call jace and take it up with him. y’all think Alec hasn’t tried? Alec is done trying with Jace

7. Alec: you need to come back to the institute. Jace: you need to help me first. seriously? everything that comes out of have’s mouth is a cry for help. have you thought about actually being there for Alec, jace? I don’t know maybe being his friend and taking threats serious?

8. I couldn’t find the gif but Simon saying how jace treats Alec like a lap dog is my favorite line from Simon. all jace does is tell Alec to do this and do that. he never asks if he can, he just tells Alec he needs something and uses their parabatai bond as a statement, of alec will do this for me. Alec doesn’t do anything for himself, it’s for others. and this is just how clary treats Simon as well. she expects Simon to do what she needs but I don’t ever see her asking him or even asking Simon what he needs or wants.

9. shadowhunters are supposed to protect the shadow world but the way they talk to mundanes and downworlders shows the opposite. Jace calls Simon mundie, mundane and clary calls Magnus warlock in this episode.

10. Robert saying the lightwoods are the best of the shadowhunters- he’s not wrong 😌 but I’m biased

11. side note- I like how the show focuses more on the lightwoods. even later on when they try to make herondales seem “superior” izzy is like we’re royalty basically. it’s always funny to me when they try to make jace or any herondale seem better but who was always saving his ass or the day? LIGHTWOODS. put some respect on the name please

12. Magnus coming in with the tea this whole episode!!!!!!!! “Shadowhunters believe in the law as absolute. They could never conceive of one of their own as going astray.” the clave believed when Valentine was murdering downworlders and fabricating some story as if the shadowhunters were the innocent and victim party. because how dare a shadowhunter be evil?????????

13. “I have followed every rule. I have given up everything.”- alec. wait until you find out your parents were in the circle 😭

14. I get why Alec is upset because while he’s been dealing with EVERYTHING, izzy gets to be a diplomat while he gets sent off to a chapel. no wonder Alec is upset.

15. CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT HOW GORGEOUS MAGNUS LOOKS????? HE IS KILLING IT IN THE FASHION DEPARTMENT

16. VIRGIN SHADOWHUNTER ENERGY COMING RIGHT UP

17. MAGNUS IS HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE

18. poor max with the runes 😭😭😭 I think he senses tension in the family so he’s just trying to do his part

19. did clary really just ask if Luke is her father? y’all look nothing alike. this girl keeps showing us how much of a brain she doesn’t have

so my tumblr messed up so I had to redo most of these 😭 but part 2 coming soon

#anti cassandra clare #anti cc #just my stupid opinions #alec lightwood #magnus bane #anti clace #anti clary fray #anti jace herondale #I’m just here for the Alec and Magnus content #shadowhunter show is superior #show malec is superior #show alec is superior #putting anti cc on all show shadowhunter posts because i don’t want an pro book fans hating on my shit #shadowhunters tv #show Magnus is superior

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slutfor-fictionalmen · 11 months ago

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Thinking of a series or at least 3 chapters of an internally!softer! Ghost and a super smart/ strong headed! Reader who works on their mission routes and tactical strategies, they obviously like eachother but won’t say anything (for now)

A little suggestive below cut but more of a preview!

Your head is pounding from the strain on your eyes, overtime has kicked your ass, even with help you’ve gotten, your entire life has been your work.

“Oh fuck me!” a rumble of laughter escapes the man next to you as you change positions.

“You can say that again.” a sigh escapes your lips as you close your laptop as violently as you can without causing harm to it, after all, why would you cause harm to something you saved up for months to buy even though work has more use of it then you do .

“Si, do we really have to do this?” His screen closes shortly after.

“Do you want to continue having a job cause these reports are just as important as my fieldwork love.”

“Maybe its time for me to find a new fucking job,” you grumble. Your misery incites another laugh out of the man,

“Hey let me know when you do that ill be right behind you.”

“The government would sooner kill both of our families and us than let us go, the misfortune of being too valuable i fear,” you turn over and face him attempting to lessen the twinge in your back with a new position.

“Ah, too bad you’re too amazing.”

“Yeah yeah smooth talker you're just trying to butter me up, get me to do your reports for you, I won't be tricked, not again that is.” His calloused hand touches yours releasing a breath that you were unaware you were holding.

“It’s nice to be with you again you know ,” you hold his hand, squeezing gently, “to talk to you and not have to worry about whether or not you’re going to die in a few minutes.”

“You know me better than to worry about that, what kind of man of the 141 would I be if I'm not evading death at all turns, gonna take a lot more than some pesky bullets to take me out darling.”

A dry chuckle escapes your mouth “I’ll hold you to that.”

You play the memory over in your brain, again, and again, and again. Your brain was flooded with thoughts of simon, his hands, his chest, the way his eyes crinkled under his mask when you make him laugh. The way your interactions were always so calm, so intimate. His talk of marriage, of future, how he hopes love but has the worst love life of anyone you know.

You cant say more for yourself, failed dates, hookups, and your fair share of blind dates you often felt as if the love you craved is out of your reach, it doesn’t exist. Or it didn’t until you met a tall intimidating man that ruined any prospective males for you without even knowing the damage he’s inflicted, the nights you’ve spent dreaming of him, his smile. Everything from what your wedding would be like to what he’d look like between your thighs, him finally being the one to pull his name from your lips and not your vibrator that’s worked double time since you’ve gotten closer to the man.

You shake your head at the thought, forcibly ridding it from your brain before you dive deeper into a fantasy with the man standing next to you, going over plans for their next mission, protocols and resources, how long they’re expecting to be away and where they should be to come back. You briefly wonder if you should have said yes, what ghost would have said if you actually quit, maybe you would have run from the law together, or maybe you would have been stuck back in this very room as deserters, you allow your mind to focus on the more positive side before you zone back into work.

Simon’s thoughts have been everywhere but focused today, he’s known lust, he’s even known obsession, but never something like this. He’s a professional, a killer, he’s trained to withstand torture but he can’t stand you on his mind without going crazy with the need to fuck his fist, picturing your soft mound, wondering how your thick thighs and tight pussy would squeeze around him if he told you all the dirty thoughts he had while you bent over the table to emphasize an evacuation route if anything goes wrong. You were a strategist, a smart, beautiful, highly respected woman who earned every role you had, every medal you earned, and yet he can’t stop thinking about how many times you’d need to cum before he can get that beautiful brain to slow down.

He’d feel guilty if his thick cock wasn’t pressing painfully against the zipper of his uniform disrupting any thoughts he could have potentially had.

“Enter Ghost, through this wall, try not to use too many grenades, as much as we want the base destroyed, we don’t want you inside of it.” You look out of the corner of your eye till you hear a deep grunt indicating his reception to your words.

His eyes don’t leave you, he loves your voice but his brain is on everything but this mission, he almost wants to tell you to have more faith in him, he’d always come home to you, after all when has he ever let you down?

“You’ve gone over this at least 3 times, why don’t you let us get this done? We promise we’ll be good.” Soap says with a hand over his heart and the other in the air, a cheesy promise to you inciting scattered chuckles from various teammates around the room.

You sigh in defeat, “follow my orders, or at least try to…. Please,” you shut off the screen and turn to the group but make an effort to look at Simon, “ Come home safe for me.”

His eyes bore into you as he internally promises just as he always does “I Will.”

Let me know if you want more!!

#chubby reader #smut #plus size reader #plus size!reader #ghost #simon ghost riley #chubby!reader #fluff #slow burn #i actually like this #ghost cod

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putonmyfavoriteshow · 2 years ago

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Life With Luca thoughts/reactions

WOW, I really enjoyed that way more than I expected to!

OK, so timeline wise the math isn't really mathing for me lmao. Like how do they both have 14 yr olds and Simon being in college already?? The show only ended in 2009/2010 which was 13/14 years ago?? What year is it in this universe??? They both had children the year they went off to college lmao??

But I'm happy to ignore logic since I actually enjoyed the newbies a lot.

I liked that Luca/Skylar weren't just a repeat Casey/Derek dynamic and weren't rivals who full on hated each other but just grew up differently and had some jealousy/hostility toward the other because of that, but actually were a lot sweeter together during more serious moments. I think their personalities perfectly reflected how they were raised - Luca is a bit of a rebel, but he's very much Casey's son, he's trained in First Aid! and has a granola bar in his pocket at all times, albeit stale AF, and takes care of his siblings even if he can be lazy about it sometimes. Skylar is more mature minded but she has the freedom of Derek's parenting so she's not nearly as high strung as Casey is, but she is more organized and put together to make up for Derek's lackadaisical way of living.

I LOVED SIMON!!! He was easily my favorite new character. I can't believe I went from forgetting he even existing to absolutely adoring him. He was so lovable and silly and he must have such a wild childhood being the Venturi-McDonald baby, I would love more backstory on him!

Molly/Kai were adorable and the perfect little chaotic kiddos to round out the ensemble :3

George/Nora - although I wasn't as invested in them, their relationship is so adorable and they're just as dorky and sweet as they were in the series.

The random jewelry heist B-plot was so random, but kinda funny. I'm down for some chaotic hijinx, and I love how it ended with that theif falling through the ceiling XD

The return of Lassiter and Sam were great. It would've been great to see any of the show regulars honestly but I'm glad we got some. I think the return of D-Rock really got me. When they started singing the song I had tears in my eyes. And Ralph as a surgeon was such a great way to explain his absense lmao.

I missed Edwin/Lizzie/Marti. I think that was my only real let down with the movie. They didn't need to be in the whole thing but even a video call would have been nice :/

Career-wise I'm glad they went with Derek as a rock star and Casey as a lawyer. Even though Derek was the hockey guy, seeing him roam around as a rock star with his daughter really just fits his vibe. And I'm so glad the movie course corrected VWD Casey because I was never a fan of her dropping out of college to dance in NY like ?? sure Casey loves to dance but she loves to use her big brain even more!!! Plus fighting for justice?? THAT'S SO CASEY DASEY!!! So it was taboo then, I feel like it's even more taboo now, but had you lived it you would get it! These two always had way too much tension and never quite fell into a sibling-like relationship. They were insanely obsessed with each other making everyone around them uncomfortable, so they were destined to be messed up soulmates <3 It may be an ick for some and that's valid, but for me they'll always be "the exception the the rule" ;) Also Ashley and Mike were always pushing the limit on them, they knew what they were doing! Ok, so now that that's out of the way, I knew that we weren't going to get canon Dasey out of this, but I'm so glad the writers delivered on giving us some great Dasey content regardless. The fact that both Skylar's mom and Casey's hockey husband were both entirely absent and no love interest was given was wise. We basically got to see Derek and Casey play house and be the married vibes that they are which is honestly what us hardcore LWD/Dasey fans want anyway. Mike & Ash didn't miss a beat! That was really Casey and Derek back on my screen and it made me really emotional <3 Maybe the movie didn't have a whole lot of just them, since their children were the focal point but the way it ended, it just made me want more and feel like we were being set up for ...possible canon Dasey? But even if not canon, I think that if the show does get picked up, we can get so much fun Dasey content from it to build from anyway (canon is overrated sometimes lbr) Plus I genuinely enjoy seeing Derek and Casey in parental roles so that would be awesome. And SIMON MORE SIMON PLEASE!!!! <3

#life with luca #life with derek #thoughts and reactions #lwd #lwl #dasey #my opinion #nostalgia

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lemmilemura · 1 year ago

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HEAR ME OUT ON THIS REQUEST PLZ, ok so the reader a huge crush on simon right? but theyre not friends at all, like they’ve never met eachother other than having a few classes together and stuff (he hasn’t even posted about them on AT). BUT (since the reader is like so obsessed or whatever) the reader like, hacks into about that somehow, and they and simon meet and talk to eachother IN THE CODE OF THE APP. I THINK IT WOULD BE SO CUTE

im ngl ive had this idea for so long, theres a lot of plot holes in the req so you can do whatever to it, but plz keep the talking in the code of the app thing in it because i think it’s adorable 😭

Oh my fucking god that is genious!!! I absolutely love that idea! Thank you, omg, I'm full of energy again to write this, I never even thought of this!!! I missed you, pine-ferret, I really have.

All kept gender-neutral Based on the show

3am. Pitch black. The only light was coming from my computer screen. It was giving off a green glow into the room. It came from the fake hacking website I had open on my second monitor. Actual hacking doesn't do all that fancy stuff. Atleast not the hacking I was currently doing. My only companion, my only energy came in the form of Lipton Ice Tea. My motivation was what was behind that wall of code. It was grueling. It was terrible. It took hours. But I persevered. I powered through. I used all of my skills trying to get in. Trying to achieve my goal.

What was that goal you ask? A simple one. One that, if you think about it, could have been solved much faster and easier, if I had more confidence and didn't have a panic attack every time I thjought of it.

My goal was to talk to Simon Kelleher.

I know, you don't have to point it out. Look, my severe social anxiety and also him not having a single idea who I was kinda kept me from talking to him. How do I know he doesn't know I exist? I have never been mention in AT. Not even once. And he's mentioned EVERYONE. Except for his friends, of course.

Hacking into AT was much harder than anywhere I'd hacked into before. "He set this up good... But nothing I didn't expect from him..." I mean of course he'd protect it well, if anyone got in there, it could spell disaster. Luckily, I wasn't planning on using it for anything nefarious. Only on the conquest of admiration.

I got really close to cracking it, I could feel it. Only a few more lines and I'd be in. "Seems like it's 1-0 for me, Kelleher. In, ya know, hacking and keeping your website un-hackable. In most other areas you definitely have way more points than me." I said to myself as I felt success get closer and closer.

But as always when I thought something would go my way, it did a U-turn.

Anarchi$k: Nice try.

"What the fuck. Wait, okay, okay, this is my big chance. This must be Simon. Stay calm, you got this."

(Username): Oh you haven't won yet.

Anarchi$k: Suuuuure. Now gtfo

(Username): Rude much.

I was then 'kicked out' of the code. But all he did was just send me a few steps back. Luckily, I had a habit of writing down every step that worked. So it only took a few seconds for me to geth where I was.

(Username): Hello again.

Anarchi$k: How tf

Anarchi$k: How did you do that?

(Username): A magician never reveals their tricks.

(Username): Now lemme get past, I'm almost in.

Anarchi$k: Not if I can stop you.

(Username): You just failed.

"Aaaaand kicked again. Alright, gotta work a lil faster then." This time, I managed to get further, only one password stood between me and having access to all of AT. That and Anarchi$k, aka Simon, of course.

Anarchi$k: Could you not?

Anarchi$k: Kicking you out is getting tedious.

(Username): Then stop kicking me?

(Username): Think on the bright side, now you know what you need to reinforce!

Anarchi$k: Good luck getting further.

Anarchi$k: You'll need it

(Username): Awwwww, thanks.

I wasn't kicked, but I could imagine why. There was no hint whatsoever to what the password could be. I'd probably not have multiple tries, either. "You can do this. and if not, hey, he knows you exist! Kinda. Not really..." I shook my head and then got to thinking. I knew almost nothing about him, so there was no way I'd ever get it.

(Username): Can I get a hint?

Anarki$k: Wtf no

(Username): Cmoooooon

(Username): I doubt anyone before has gotten this far

(Username): I deserve this

Anarchi$k: I don't even know who you are.

(Username): I know you

Anarchi$k: Everyone knows me

Anarchi$k: Because of what you're trying to get into.

(Username): Even if I told you my name

(Username): You wouldn't know who I am

Anarchi$k: Try me

(Username): Password first, Kelleher

(Username): :)

For a while nothing came. "Of course he wouldn't just give me it."

Anarchi$k: If you're still at it in like

Anarchi$k: A day

Anarchi$k: And haven't given up

Anarchi$k: I'll think about it

(Username): Yeeeah I don't believe you

(Username): I'll get this password

(Username): One way or another

(Username): But thanks for the offer

I ended up falling asleep after about half an hour of thinking. It was 4am, okay? School kicked my ass the next morning. I couldn't focus because I kept thinking about that stupid password. I only had 2 classes with Simon but he never said much in any of them, plus he sat behind me in both, so I couldn't even look at his desk or anything.

At lunch, I only nibbled at my food, while scribbling various ideas and getting frustrated. "If only I knew him better. Maybe this would be easier." My apple was only half gone, and there were only 30 minutes of lunch left. "You look like you could use some help." I looked at the voice suddenly next to me. "You're, Maeve, right? Maeve Rojas?" She sits next to me, with her tray of food. "Yep. It's okay if I sit here, right?" "You're not sitting with your sister?" "We have different lunches."

That was a first for many reasons. I never had anyone wanting to sit next to me. I'd never talked to Maeve before. I'd seen her a handful of times with Simon and Janae. "What are you struggling with?" She asked as she leaned over. "Just some code. A... friend of mine forgot their passcode and has no idea what it was." "Well, any ideas?" The two of us spent the rest of lunch trying to figure out what the passcode was, and she never found out it was to AT.

I got back to it as soon as I got home. I was determined to figure it out without Simon's hint. I workshopped a little more on what me and Maeve worked on.

Anarchi$k: Wait you're actually here again?

(Username): Did ya miss me?

Anarchi$k: Ya wish

(Username): I wish to get into AT

Anarchi$k: Do I look like a Genie to you?

(Username): A Genie-ous

Anarchi$k: Oh my fucking god

(Username): Does flattery get me a free entry pass?

Anarchi$k: It gets you nowhere

(Username): Oh cmoooooonnnn

(Username): Just let me in!

Anarchi$k: I told you

Anarchi$k: 24 hours

Anarchi$k: You've got 12 left

(Username): Ugh

(Username): Party pooper

"C'mon brain, think of things. C'mon brain, be so smart." I repeated to myself an amount of times I do not know. I brainstormed all the way through dinner, and way into the night.

"I only have one hour left. Either I could just give up and wait for the hint. Or I could crack this and be amazing and impress him..." the latter was the one I really wanted, but I knew it was very very unrealistic.

Anarchi$k: 30 minutes buddy

Anarchi$k: Or do you already give up?

(Username): I never give up

(Username): i never let down

(Username): I never run around or desert

Anarchi$k: okay for that you only get 15 minutes left

(Username): WTF why?

Anarchi$k: you fucking rickrolled me wtf did you think was gonna happen?

(Username): you'd find the joke so hilarious and give me the code and then we fall helplessly in love and live out our days only communicating in code?

Anarchi$k: wow

Anarchi$k: yeah that's not gonna happen

(Username): worth a try

Anarchi$k: why do you want to get in so badly anyway?

Anarchi$k: I mean I know why but goddamn just give up already

(Username): wow you must be braindead

(Username): I just told you, dumbass

Omg I actually just said that. Maybe it was the fact that he had no idea it was me that was giving me that confidence. God knows I would never be able to get a single word out if we were actually face to face.

Anarchi$k: you must be so desperate and deprived of attention if you come to me of all people

(Username): you do realize that backfired, right?

Anarchi$k: I am very well aware

(Username): you should like

(Username: idk

(Username): be happy that there's someone who like you

(Username): and stuff

Anarchi$k: oh I'm very flattered

Anarchi$k: but still

Anarchi$k: like wtf

Anarchi$k: also back to the I don't fucking know you part

(Username): If I told you who I am

(Username): 1 it would ruin this great little 'game'

(Username): and 2 you'd still not know who I am cuz you don't know me

Anarchi$k: oh how fun

Anarchi$k: I get to experience having a stalker

(Username): it's not like that dumbass

(Username): ok what I can say is I also go to Bayview

Anarchi$k: narrows it only a small bit

Anarchi$k: and if you think that stops the stalker thing it doesn't

(Username): welp, I tried

Anarchi$k: and I succeeded

Anarchi$k: time's up, buddy

Anarchi$k: any final words before I send you back out?

Anarchi$k: I've changed pretty much eveything btw

I felt like at this point I only had two options.

1. Take the loss and lose all my progress, and this is where it all ends

2. Tell him who I am and it ends too

And I kid you not I blacked out while typing what I typed because I do not remember a single thing.

(Username): my name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). We have a couple classes together. You sit behind me in them.

I only came back to consciousness after it was sent. I then cursed myself and curled up in a ball on my chair. Goodybe and chance to ever succeed. Goodbye future I'd dreamed of. Goodbye happiness.

I'd started crying a little too. Then I heard a sound. I looked up.

"What the fuck" I was greeted by the Admin panel of AT. Full access to everything.

Anarchi$k: not a lot of people would be willing to admit that

Anarchi$k: you got balls, (Username)

Anarchi$k: also I knew it was you the entire time lol

WHAT.

(Username): what

Anarchi$k: yeah I see you sometimes

Anarchi$k: you gotta work on the staring

Anarchi$k: also Maeve told me she helped you with a passcode during lunch

Anarchi$k: so yeah

(Username):...

(Username): I

I was speechless. Somehow, this was worse. Much worse.

Anarchi$k: I gave you access because I could use the help

Anarchi$k: of someone who knows their way around code

Anarchi$k: no offense to Janae and Maeve but they're not smart enough for this stuff

(Username): I

(Username): okay

(Username): I guess

(Username): this is going to be so awkward

(Username): just warning ya

Anarchi$k: oh I'm sure we'll be just peachy

Anarchi$k: also feel free to stuck around us at school

Anarchi$k: if your poor little heart can handle that

Anarchi$k: ;)

(Username): or my reputation rather

Anarchi$k: you're invisble

Anarchi$k: there's no reputation to break

Okay I know that ending was kinda meh but I do not know how to go on I hope you still like it qwq

#one of us is lying #oouil #simon kelleher #oouil tv show #oneshot

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